#and put up bird feeders and plant zinnias so goldfinches and purple finches and cardinals and blue jays and grackles will come visit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

backfliips · 2 years ago

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one day im gonna live in my own house with my own yard and my own decorations and my own furniture and my own kitchen and surround myself with only the people i want to be with and i’ll be able to sit on my porch and watch the sunrise and the sunset and the seasons come and go and things will be better

#i feel so stuck right now #i cant afford to move out and my future feels so uncertain #i dont want to be rich i just want to be able to afford my own things and live a life where i can just enjoy the small things #i want a house with a guest room to house my friends who want to come stay #and a yard where i can plant vegetables and herbs and flowers #and put up bird feeders and plant zinnias so goldfinches and purple finches and cardinals and blue jays and grackles will come visit #and a living room made up of furniture that ive pieced together over the years #and decorations on the walls that i put there #and a fridge and pantry full of the foods that i want to stock #and the ability to keep things as clean as i want them to be #to deep clean every monday like i used to do when i lived alone #to display the things i enjoy outside of just my room #to host dinner parties #to be able to just sit and be #i feel like a caged bird here i just want to have my own nest #things feel so overwhelming and upsetting right now but i know one day ill have moved on from this #ill have my own place where i can be myself and surround myself with safety instead of this hostile house

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