#and possibly pull suspicion eventually

[natjennie]

fuckign christ sailor is such a good leech bluff oh my god.

[myth1cs]

Completing the mission (Myoui Mina x M!Reader)

Even more smut and I'm still sorry for it.

Word Count: 2067

Mina was arriving at a party and preparing to carry out the mission

Her boss Bangchan has set her on an important mission to steal important documents from Y/N the host of the party.

Mina was an agent for hire. She didn't know the specifics for why Bangchan wanted her to steal those documents but as long as she was getting paid she could care less. She just needed to complete the mission whatever the cost.

Mina was struggling in her home life. It was hard to pay the bills and buy enough food to feed herself. So she decided to become an agent for hire, selling her services for a price. An expensive price, after all she was good at her job, she couldn't sell her skills for nothing after all.

This party was her best chance to steal the documents. If she failed then she wouldn't get paid and surely would be punished, the pressure was on.

As she was arriving at the door to enter the party she pulled out the invitation Bangchan gave her. Y/N sent Bangchan an invitation but he gave it to Mina and texted Y/N he would send his secretary in his place because he felt sick and wouldn't be able to attend.

Y/N believed Bangchan as he didn't think Bangchan had a reason to lie to him.

The guard at the door accepted Mina's invitation and let her in. Her mission had officially begun. As she walked in she saw some of the biggest CEO's from the biggest companies in the country. She felt a bit tense but she composed herself and started walking around to get a basic layout of Y/N's house.

As Mina walked through the house suddenly heard someone call her name.

"Hey I don't recognize you"

Mina turned around and she saw him the host of the party Y/N.

"I'm Bangchans secretary Mina he sent you a message telling you he would send me on his behalf." as Mina said this she noticed Y/N was trying to subtly scan her body. He didn't do a good job at it as Mina quickly caught him but she decided to stay quiet about it.

"Well Mina let me show you around it would be rude not to." Y/N said as he held his hand out to Mina. She was just trying to complete her mission and get out as quickly as possible but having a good relationship with Y/N could help lower her suspicion as she wasn't sure Y/N trusted her.

"Yeah sure." Mina said as she grabbed Y/N's hand.

Y/N walked her around his house introducing her to the other guests and asking her questions about her job.

Eventually Y/N took Mina to his winery. "Do you care for a drink Mina?" Y/N asked while grabbing a bottle.

"I could go for a drink but please let me fill your drink" Mina said trying to grab the bottle from Y/N's hands.

"Oh no let me I am your host after all, I should be the one treating my guests" Y/N said as he pulled the bottle away.

Mina was getting nervous, her original plan was to put sleeping pills into Y/N's drink so she could find the code to Y/N's safe and steal the documents without worrying about getting caught. She couldn't let Y/N serve the drinks.

"No really I insist" Mina said with a little more force which slightly shocked Y/N. He didn't know Mina could be so intense.

Y/N handed Mina the bottle "Well if you insist then I guess I won't stop you." He said while being a little scared of Mina.

"Hey Y/N could you bring some ice I like having my alcohol with ice" Mina didn't actually like her alcohol with ice she just needed an excuse to get Y/N out of the room.

"Sure I don't mind" Y/N said as he left the room. As soon as Y/N was out of sight she quickly grabbed the cups and started pouring the alcohol in them. Then she grabbed the pills and crunched them up and dropped them into Y/N's cup.

She quickly went to the bathroom and flushed the bottle that the pills were held in into the toilet.

When she got back she saw Y/N was already their.

"Where did you go Mina? You weren't here when I got back."

"I was just using the restroom" Mina quickly responded.

Y/N looked at her with a hint of doubt in his eyes but he just brushed it off.

Y/N picked up a glass and handed it to Mina. "Well let's drink up Mina and say cheers on behalf of Bangchan who couldn't make it today." Y/N said while smiling at her.

Mina grabbed the drink and did a toast with Y/N.

She started drinking her cup while carefully watching Y/N waiting to see any hints of sleepiness in him. She decided to stay near Y/N until she saw any signs of him getting tired.

Some time has passed and the party is still ongoing yet. She was sitting at a table in the corner of a room with Y/N and they've been talking this whole time and yet Mina hasn't seen any signs of tiredness from Y/N. She could have sworn the pills were supposed to take effect by now so what gives?

As Mina started thinking of why Y/N hasn't shown any signs of sleepiness she suddenly had a feeling not of tiredness but of something else.

She was getting horney.

She didn't understand why even if she did accidentally drink the cup she made for Y/N she should be getting sleepy not horney. But then Mina had a thought.

Before she left for her mission she grabbed a bottle from her drawer but she didn't bother to check the label as most of the pills she keeps are ones to put people to sleep. However she does keep one that holds a different type of pills. An aphrodisiac, she had it in case she ever needed it for a mission but she never actually intended to use it.

Mina realized she grabbed the wrong bottle from her drawer and now she was in big trouble. She thought she failed the mission since she was getting to friendly with Y/N earlier he would definitely notice if she was gone for a prolonged period of time and get suspicious.

But she couldn't admit defeat that easily she had to find a different way. As she started to think of something she could do she started to rub her thighs together to get some tension. Y/N kept talking to her about ... well who knows what she wasn't listening to him after all her mind was filled with panic, lust, and thoughts of how to get out of this situation.

"Mina are you okay? I feel like my words are going in one ear and leaving the other" Y/N said slightly annoyed that Mina wasn't paying attention to him.

"Uhm~ yeah I'm just ... very deep in thought" Mina said while feeling her face getting hotter. She needed something to relieve herself she couldn't focus on her mission until she felt relief.

"Mina if you need to lay down you can-" Before Y/N could finish his sentence he was cut off.

"Y/N show me to a room" Mina said in a desperate voice.

"O-okay Mina calm down" Y/N said a little confused on why Mina sounded so needy.

Y/N grabbed Minas hand and walked her to the guest bedroom. Mina was trying her best to hold urges but she was at her limit. Eventually they got to the guest bedroom and Y/N closed the door behind them.

"Well you can stay in here unt-" Y/N was quickly cut off by Mina who latched her lips onto his.

Y/N was shocked by the sudden move by Mina and pulled her off of him. "Mina what are you-"

Mina locked the door and looked at Y/N with lust in her eyes. "Y/N I saw you checking me out earlier, please I need you right now"

Y/N pulled Mina to him and kissed her back. Y/N's hands roamed Minas body. Y/N's hands reached down and squeezed Mina's butt. Mina moaned into Y/N's mouth.

"Ahh~ Fuck" Mina kept making noise under Y/N's touch. Their hands were roaming each other's bodies while lustfully kissing each other.

Mina was getting a little needy. She needed more than Y/N's touch. "Y/N get this dress off me" Mina said with urgency in her voice.

Y/N started to quickly take Mina's dress off exposing her breasts and pussy to the cold air.

Y/N put one hand on one of Mina's breasts and another on Mina's butt. Mina squirmed and she couldn't take it. "Y/N please touch me where I most need it"

Y/N liked seeing Mina so needy and he wasn't keen on giving Mina what she wanted so quickly.

Y/N pinched Mina's nipple and kissed her more roughly. "Now now Mina were getting a little too needy." As he said this he could see slight annoyance in Mina. "Oh shut up and put your dick in me"

Y/N picked Mina up and put her on the bed. "Such a dirty mouth you have Mina, what would Bangchan think if he heard such words coming from his secretary?"

"Oh shut up Y/N" Mina said with a mix of annoyance and neediness. She grabbed Y/N's hand and put it up to her pussy.

While Y/N did want to tease Mina, when he felt the warmth of Mina's pussy he lost all his will to continue teasing her and gave in.

Y/N fingered Mina's pussy in quick manner not letting Mina adjust to his fingers. "OH SHIT" Mina yelled but she quickly covered her mouth to muffle it. "Your so loud Mina do you want everyone to know how your getting fucked?"

Mina couldn't respond as she was too focused on the mix of pain and pleasure she was receiving. Y/N curled his fingers in Mina and it sent her closer to release. "I'm close"

When Y/N heard that he immediately pulled his fingers out. Mina whined when she felt his fingers leave as she was close to cumming. "Y/N you fucking bitch" Mina said while panting.

Y/N ignored Mina and took off his pants revealing his dick which was already hard. Mina gasped, she knew what was about to happen. "Y/N wait your not wearing any-"

Y/N ignored Mina's plea and shoved his dick in Mina. Mina almost let out a loud scream but quickly covered her mouth.

For the next few minutes Y/N pumped his dick in and out of Mina. Every now and then they would engage in a lustful kiss or put their hands on each other.

Eventually Y/N was getting at his limit. "Mina I'm going to cum" Y/N said feeling exhausted.

"Let me swallow your cum" Mina said. She really didn't want to but she needed a reason to not let Y/N cum in her.

Y/N got a few final pumps in before he exited Mina's warm and tight pussy. Mina sat up and took Y/N's dick in her mouth and started sucking. Not long after Y/N came in Mina's mouth.

After coming off from such a high Y/N got exhausted and fell asleep on the bed.

Mina swallowed the thick cum. She really didn't think Y/N would have so much cum in him. She got up and got herself clean with the tissues which were next to the bed.

Mina put on her dress and put perfume on her to get the smell of sex off of her.

She took this chance to go to Y/N's room to look for the code to the safe. She eventually found the code and typed it into the safe.

Mina left the party with the documents in hand. She got her phone and called Bangchan.

"I completed the mission"

------------------------------------------

"Wow myth1cs you really like yapping huh?"

Yes.

Also don't expect this type of schedule this is a rare case of me actually having motivation.

[patscorner]

Night, Night

Summary: You and your girlfriend expose your relationship at night.

wc: 2,027

Contains: just fluff, one of the worst endings I've written, but I hope yall enjoy.

______________________________

“Let's gooooo!!! Suck it, Kamorea!!” Paige shouts, standing from the couch and throwing her controller down before doing a victory lap around the dorm room. KK rolls her eyes at the blonde's antics and turns to her phone on the desk.

It'd been a while since all the girls had been able to really hang out, but since summer sessions had just ended, you decided a little gathering was well deserved. You invited the team to your apartment to chill, which is what led you to now; sitting next to your girlfriend on the couch, watching KK and Paige play rocket league, occasionally laughing at the comments that came from KK's live. You and Morgan weren't public yet, so you made sure you stayed a safe distance away from her so as to not raise suspicions.

You were doing an okay job, having to stop yourself from lacing your fingers with hers. Aubrey was at the desk, monitoring the comments, reading a couple out loud, and ignoring the out of pocket ones. You watched as Paige ran out of the room shouting, probably bothering anybody who was possibly sleeping. You can't help but giggle when you hear her being scolded by Azzi in the kitchen.

What you don't see is Morgan staring at you, hearts in her eyes, watching the way your eyes squint close and the way the corners of your mouth crease as you laugh. Aubrey sees it, though, and so do the other 1,527 viewers. Aubrey turns around and looks at Morgan, wordlessly waiting for her to stop looking at you. When she eventually does, Aubrey makes a face, and her eyes flick to the phone screen.

You look between them, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “What, what happened?”

“Nothing.” The girls say in unison. Morgan clears her throat, trying to will the blush that had crept onto her face. KK turned around and smirked.

“Morrrrgggiieeeeee,” She teased, drawing a laugh from Aubrey and an eye roll from the freshman.

“Oookay!” Morgan stood up abruptly, the blanket you were sharing, falling off of her. “Where are you going?” You ask, pouting as she walked towards the door.

“Just to the kitchen, you need anything?” She turns, sliding her phone in her right pocket. You smile at her gesture. “Just some chips, if we have any.” She nods before walking out.

“I'm all good, thanks for asking, Morgie!” KK calls after her, Aubrey shaking her head as she turns back to the phone. “Shut up, KK!” Morgan calls back.

Paige comes back into the room with a pout on her face. “What's wrong with you?” You ask as she plops down on the couch next to you, opposite where Morgan was sitting. “Azzi is being mean.”

“Me telling you not to sit on me is not being mean!!” A voice calls.

“Whatever.” Paige groans, pulling her phone out.

You shake your head before going on your phone. You already feel your stomach tighten in the absence of the love of your life. You both have been dating for eight months, and it's been everything you wanted and more. It didn't take long for the team to figure it out, and as soon as they did, they teased you both relentlessly. You couldn't even smile at your phone without them asking if it was Morgan. Granted, it always was, but that's besides the point.

You think about the moments you've had with her. Whether it's playing 1 on 1 with her at 2 am, because she couldn't sleep or sitting next to each other on the couch after an argument, talking out your feelings. You think about the times she would leave the house when you were sick to get the medicine you wanted, even if you already had some that would've worked just the same. You think about the subtle sparks that burned until they were blazing inferno whenever you grazed each other during a game or at a party. You think about the heated makeout sessions that turned into more and you think about the slow, lazy kisses you shared while drifting in and out of consciousness.

Where is she?

You're about three seconds from getting up and searching for Morgan when she walks in with four bags of chips and a bottle of water. “Wha- why do you have so many?” You question.

The brunette gives you one of her dopey grins before as she sets them on the table. “I didn't know which one you wanted, so I brought one of each.” You can't hide the smile that sneaks its way to your face as you take the water from her. “Thank you, ba- Morgie.” You correct yourself quick enough that only the girl in front of you could hear it. Her eyes are wide with amusement. “You're welcome.” She says, plopping down next to you.

KK turns around and looks at the chips in Morgan's hand. “Whipped.” Is all she mutters and the other girls burst into giggles, including yourself.

Morgan grabs a pillow and throws it at her, hitting her in the back of the head. KK glares at her, and Morgan sticks her tongue out.

“Girl boo!”

“If Morgan could pass the ball like that, Coach would stop making us run suicides.” Paige muttered quietly, but not quiet enough because the room erupted with laughter. You place your hand on the freshman’s thigh, patting her lovingly as she glared at you, who was struggling to stifle your laughter. You bit your lip, and Morgan's eyes trailed to them, and suddenly, your breath hitched.

“Not too much on my kid, c’mon, yall.” Aubrey says, giggles escaping her lips. She glances at the comments, some people talking about the way Morgan was looking at you. She ignores them. “You act your any better, P, how do you miss a layup?”

“Woah! There were two people next to me!” Paige defends herself.

“Please, they were practically social distancing. You had plenty of room.” You say, earning a glare from her. You attempt to ignore the girl on the other side of you, whose arm is subtly wrapping itself around your waist from behind. You raise your eyebrows as you turn to Morgan, astonished by her boldness. She ignores you and pretends to be on her phone.

The night drags on as KK has started the talent show. Paige migrated to the floor after telling Aubrey she could get more kills than her in fortnite. You've sprawled out, legs where Paige once was, head in your girlfriend's lap. The day was starting to catch up to you as you started to drift in and out of consciousness, and Morgan, running her hands through your hair delicately, was lulling you to sleep. Despite your efforts to fight sleep, she could feel your body relax when you nodded off and tense up again when you realized you'd done so.

A small smile made home on her lips as she leaned down to your ear. “You tired?” she asked, pausing her hand movements. You shook your head. “Mmm-mmm. Wide awake, you?” You mumble. She scoffs playfully, resuming her hands.

“Do you wanna go to your room?” she whispers. “No.” You say. “‘m good right here.”

“Go to sleep, then.” She hums. You nod sheepishly before drifting off once more.

You'd been asleep for no longer than five minutes, before KK was yelling at Paige, who was trying to beat Aubrey's five kills in Fortnite.

“Paige, go left! There's like three peop- no! Your other left! Dumba-”

“Watch your mouth!” Aubrey yells before KK finishes the word. Just then, Paige gets a kill, and she exclaims loudly.

“Let's go!!!” She shouts before locking back in.

“Could yall quiet down?” Morgan says, causing Aubrey and KK to look at her, then glance at you, dozing off again, before looking at each other. “Is she really sleeping, right now? It's only 8:30.” KK laughs. Aubrey giggles. “Guess my kid is a grandmother.”

Morgan shakes her head, looking down at you. “No, just between school and practice, she hasn't been sleeping well.”

She can't help the smile that crawls onto her face as she glances down at you, eyes fluttered shut peacefully. The peace had been missing from your features for weeks, and been replaced with furrowed brows and stressed wrinkles.

KK and Aubrey look at each other before bursting out in loud laughter, waking you up once more, causing you to groan.

“She's so whipped, bro.” Paige mutters, her eyes never leaving the screen. This only eggs the other girls on, everybody forgetting about the now 2,000 people watching them on the other side of their phone screens.

"I know you're not talking." Morgan shoots back.

"Ay, not too much." Paige laughs.

Morgan rolls her eyes at the girls before leaning back down to your ear. “Let's go to bed, sweetheart.” She mumbles.

You don't even try to fight it this time. You just hum and sheepishly sit up before leaning your head back on the couch and letting your eyes close once more. At this point, nobody cared about the live, it being long forgotten on the desk.

Morgan patted your thigh before standing up. “Come on, pretty girl, let's get you to bed.” You whine as she wraps her arms around your back, pulling you up to your feet. “No..” You slur, your voice muffled by her shirt. She laughs as you reluctantly wrap your arms around her neck, and she taps the back of your thighs to signal you to jump, and you oblige. KK eyes widen, looking at you guys, then back at the live, watching people slowly start to freak out.

“Do I need to-” She cuts herself off when she sees Morgan shaking her head. “Don't worry about it. It was bound to happen.” She offers a small smile before kissing your head and walking out of the room. She hears the girls laughing in shock before she closes the door behind her. She earns giggles from Ice, Azzi, Ayanna, and Jana, who are playing a quiet game of UNO.

It's almost funny how easily she carried you to your bed, laying you down before standing back up. You whine and lift your arms up to her, signaling you want her to stay. She laughs before kissing your cheek. “I'll be right back, baby, hold on.”

Morgan walks out of the room and back into the room with KK. She gathers your phone, as well as the empty bags of chips and other trash that had gathered. “Bro, Morgan, come give these people a backstory so I can stop avoiding these comments.” the shorter girl groans. Morgan, Paige, and Aubrey laugh as she makes her way next to KK.

She squints as the questions roll in. “How long have y'all been dating?” She reads. “Uhhh- almost a year.” she smiles as she answers.

“Who said ‘I love you first?’” KK reads, turning to Morgan, who's blushing.

“Me, but she knew first. She just didn't tell me.” She rolls her eyes playfully.

“Okay, okay, that's enough. This is not Morgan's live, and I'm not bouta sit here and listen to this story again.” She complains. Morgan sends her a glare before backing up. “Whatever, she's waiting for me, anyway. Goodnight, Live.” She smiles and waves. “Night, Morgie.” KK says, directing her attention back to the TV screen.

“Night.” Aubrey offers. Morgan looks at the blonde. “Goodnight, Paige.”

All she gets is a grunt. She rolls her eyes before walking back out and offering the other girls goodnight.

She walked back into your room to find you right where she left you. She smiles as she kisses your cheek, waking you up gently. “Get under the blanket, baby.” She whispers. You move automatically, still sleep.

She crawls onto you, pulling the blanket over you both. She put all of her weight on you, her face in the crook of your neck, where she presses a kiss. “Goodnight. Love you.” She whispers. All she gets is a hum back, but she doesn't miss the way your arms wrap around her body, holding her securely onto her.

______________________________

taglist: @wintersstan @bueckerslover @lilia22hicks @fake-intelligences @girlokwhatever @pbloverr @breeloveschris-deactivated20240 @cosmopretty @hellokittyfeenie @averagelobotomyenjoyer @elliewilliamsthang @chelisbae @angelscovee

[pedgito]

𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 | Joel Miller x reader

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summary | A poor damsel in distress, saved by the most unlikely of man.

author's note | this was written for @studioghibelli's beautiful fic challenge. i've never written anything this close to a royal-ish type era, if you could even call it that. but this is just a slight dip into that realm and it was super fun! thank you for hosting this, bell! idk if any of this is accurate i'm just vibing dsjhk

content warning | 18+ smut, princess!reader, mentioned to have hair long enough to be tied back, regency au, age gap, wealth/power dynamic, mentions of past marriage/death, BREEDING KINK, talks of marriage and pregnancy, secret relationship, oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v

word count —1.8k

“If he catches us, we’ll both be dead.”

It was a constant mantra Joel spoke to you, even as he unfastened your corset and slipped under the thick fabric of your dress, disappearing as he fit his face between your thighs.

It started out of innocence—a strange man with growing, constant visits to your manor at the edge of town. At first it was only on official business, a supplier of goods to your father. Joel was a jack of all trades: armor, leatherwork, anything you could think of, he’d mastered it. It was just another method of proof on how good he was with his hands.

“You need not worry,” You breath, pressed against the wall of his cobblestone home, often sneaking out in the middle of night with the possible threat of capture prevalent in your mind.

The estate had always been heavily guarded, but living there your entire life had made it easier to learn patterns, behaviors, and sneaking out to see him over time had become effortless. It had been months by now—and even as his friendship with your father grew, there were no signs, not an ounce of suspicion of what he blossomed between you both.

“He offered me a job,” Joel speaks lowly, muffled under the fabric of your dress as your leg hooks over his shoulder, fingers wrapped around the top of your bodice as you squeeze, feeling your breath catch in your throat as he licks through the center of your cunt, “well paying, convenient enough.”

You gasp softly, lifting at your skirt to get your hands on him, threading your fingers through his hair and pulling, earning a soft grunt as he peeks up at you, pulling away for a brief moment.

“What was it?”

“Royal guard—and no princess, not for him.”

“As if I don’t already have enough men guarding me,” You sigh, pushing him away and adjusting your dress—he looks slightly dejected, but stands and fixes your dress, caressing your cheek with his hand, “you cannot say yes, Joel. If you are near—”

“I know,” He murmurs, there’s a shift in his dialect that is so distinctly different from your own—years of being taught to speak up, out, to project with your voice and always act as if you were speaking to the masses, thoughtful contrition to a group much lower than yourself, “bein’ around you that often, don’t know how I could keep my hands off of you.”

If your father knew about this—you and him, a man nearly the age of your own father. He’d be ordered to death and you, while the fate may be different, wouldn’t be left with much freedom either. You were long of age, but bound to your duties as a princess and fearful of the man your father would eventually decide to marry you off to. Joel had saved you, distracted you from all of it. It would be impossible to live without him now.

“I sound ungrateful,” You grumble, looking down and grasping his other hand with yours, intertwining your fingers and bringing it to your chest but not before you press a gentle kiss against the back of his palm, “for what I have—but if I lose you…”

That place was a prison and you knew it. He knew it.

“A golden cage is still a cage,” Joel reminds you, “—that place, your father—”

You already knew—your father was slowly spiraling out of control, the rule of his country slipping from his grasp and he was scrambling and you knew he wouldn’t go down without a fight. But, you were tired. So tired. With the absence of your mother, your other siblings, you felt trapped.

“Take me away,” You beg, eyes watering as the words slipped from your lips, “we can disappear—I do not need this wealth or title, any of it. Only you.”

“He won’t stop,” Joel tells you honestly, “we would always be running.”

You pull your hand free of his grasp and curve them around his face, cradling the softness of his jaw, the scratch of his facial hair under your fingertips and he licks at his bottom lip, a tell-tale sign of the burgeoning lust. He needed you.

“Is that really what you want?”

He means it—it was a tone you’ve never heard before.

And something tells you he’s been feeling the same way for a while.

“Yes,” You answer quickly, nodding jerkily as you pull him close and Joel has to physically restrain himself from taking you there, licking his lips once more as they hover near your own, “please, Joel.”

“Let’s have this night,” Joel tells you softly, “and we can figure everything out come morning.”

—

It was peaceful here, a small cottage out in the middle of nowhere—if you wanted to stay here you could, but you knew that would be the first place your father would look outside of town.

Joel, his confidante, his most trusted man who was now under you, fingers digging into your thigh as you took his cock inside of you, his hand guiding at the base as he breathed out into the quiet room, the low crackle of the fire at his bedside.

“If you could see yourself,” Joel says absently, watching as you pull the tightly woven ribbon from your hair, breasts stretching up with the movement until it fell from its intricately laced cage, bouncing lightly with your playful movement, a smile peeking from your lips, “such a vision, princess.”

“I am no princess,” You argue gently, palms pressing into his chest as you lift your hips, leisurely and slow, enjoying the tight pull of his brow every time your ass meets his hips, “I was not made for that life, Joel.”

“Made for me,” He assures, his warm tone spreading throughout your core and pulling you in, the hands place on your thighs moving up your hips, squeezing into the flesh of your waist as his mouth drops open, silently urging you to change your pace, “perfectly crafted, all I’ve ever needed.”

You snort softly at his words—he was always a poet, whether stumbling through his words or bringing you to your knees with a compliment that would be on your mind for days, echoing in your head as you dipped your fingers inside of you on the days you went without him.

“Would you marry me?” You ask suddenly, though you feel the answer before he says it.

“Without hesitation,” He responds, “I can propose—right now, if you want.”

“Such a romantic,” You chide, the words falling on a gasp as he flips you both suddenly, shoving you into the old mattress as the bed creaks with the weight and intensity of his thrusts, the rest of your words caught in your throat as he pulls your legs up and over his back, hands resting firmly beside your head, a true vision himself.

“If it would make you happy, I would,” He admits, “all I care about is having you, being with you—titles, all of that, it doesn’t mean much to me but if that is something that would make you happy—”

“What do—” Joel switches his position suddenly, an arm tucking under your leg as he pulls it over his shoulder and leans up to meet your cunt with his thrust, watching his cock as you swallowed him up, his hand falling over the base of your pelvis and pressing down, feeding into the pressure of his cock and the all-consuming feeling of him, “christ—what is it—that you want?”

“You,” He answers immediately, “and…”

He pauses, thinking carefully on his words.

You know little of his past other than his wife and daughter who had fallen ill, losing them when he had been away on business, unbeknownst and coming home to the sight of it. He was a broken, brittle man and you were the only thing holding him together.

“I would give you a son,” You tell him, “a daughter—as many kids as you wished, Joel. Is that what you want?”

“A family,” He smiles fondly, “with you?”

“I fear you would—oh—never escape me then,” You joke playfully, eyes squeezing shut as he snaps forward roughly, his thumb dragging over your clit fleetingly as your hands dig and twist in the bedsheets, “what a handful I would have with a small version of you.”

He chuckles softly, snaking his hand under your waist and pulling at your arm until you get the idea to wrap them around his neck, adjusting you up and into his lap, carefully examining his face under the soft glow of the fire, his lip quivering as you drag your thumb over his mouth.

“I want it,” You plead, “don’t—don’t pull away.”

“You’ve given me so much,” He mumbles into your cheek as you pull him closer, hugging him to your chest as he wraps himself around you, grunting as he reached closer and closer to his own end, “and you've been trapped your entire life, I don’t want you to feel that way with me.”

“And I would give you so much more,” You breath into his mouth, “picture it—barefoot, pregnant with your child in a home far away from here, our new life—”

“Baby,” He begs, his fingertips squeezing roughly into your flesh and you gasp, your cunt pulsing around him with the roughness of his movements, pussy throbbing at his fervent intensity at your words, “I love you.”

You nod, tucking his face into your neck as he hands slips between your bodies, dragging over your clit without you needing to ask, knowing he was just that in tune with your bodily cues, the hitch in your voice as you echo the words back to him.

“Come inside of me,” It wasn’t an order, more of a plea, but you mean it, “I want to be yours.”

Forever, you think. But, the words are cut off by a sharp, jerky snap of Joel’s hips as he comes inside of you, his teeth dragging over your shoulder as he groans into your skin, simultaneously working his thumb over your sensitive clit, feeling your clench and spasms around him as you come with a soft sigh, fingers twisting into his hair and your body curling around him like a python, squeezing him so tight it knocks the air out of him.

“Do you have everything you need?” Joel asks after a few minutes, gentle touches over your skin, pulling his face back to look at you. “Before we leave at sunrise?”

“I have you,” You assure him, “that is all I need.”

[ccazimi]

Milk

CW: smut, thighriding, dubcon(?), premature ejaculation, male lactation, breastfeeding, namecalling, 18+ MDNI

wc: 2.8k

A/N: legit no one asked for this im just having a self indulgent moment

You were contentedly sprawled across the cool silk fabric, the massive sea of dark red that made up the expanse of Sukuna's luxurious bedding. It carried his scent - faint notes of charred pine, incense, agarwood with just the slightest hints of his musk.

Such a delicious scent-

"Stop smelling my sheets." His disapproving voice came from somewhere behind you in his chamber.

"The come get in so I can smell you instead." You twisted your neck to search for him in the warm lambent light of the standing oil lamps.

"I'm...not tired." He was sitting on a cushion, draped in the black haori that encased his bare chest nearly entirely.

You narrowed your eyes in suspicion.

Sukuna had been absent more than usual the last few days - you thought he was avoiding you on purpose so you gave him his space. But four days was reaching the limit and eventually you steeled yourself and marched to where his personal quarters were located in the back of the estate amongst a forested patch of land, and confronted him.

Upon seeing you he caved in and let you into his room, denying that there was any issue. You weren't the type that cared to play guessing games so you took his word for it and invited yourself into his bed that you'd missed terribly.

Sukuna was never especially talkative and there was a mutual tacit agreement that silence was perfectly fine between the two of you - comfortable, even. What was odd right now, however, was his physical proximity.

If there was one thing to be known about Sukuna, it was that he was a man of the senses - your time with him may be spent in verbal silence but his hands were always on you, nose in your hair or the crook of your neck, the tongue on his stomach idly tracing patterns on your skin whenever and wherever it got the chance to do so.

So why was he being so off right now? Practically hovering since the moment you'd arrived, almost strategically keeping some distance from you at all times.

Oh.

Sukuna's brows furrowed slightly in confusion as he watched your default mischievous demeanor fall.

"Have you...grown tired of my body, my Lord? Do I not please you anymore?" You asked quietly, suddenly feeling out of place in this bed that was too big for you.

"What?! No." Sukuna's eyes widened slightly as he abruptly stood up, pulling his haori closer together like he was cold. "What a stupid idea. Why would you think that?"

You looked up at his genuinely perplexed face, only adding to your own confusion. "Well...you haven't been around lately, and now you refuse to lay with me-"

Before you could even finish your sentence the futon was dipping from his weight beside you as he climbed in. Your face lit up at the welcome heat which always radiated from his body, sinking into your naked skin.

You turned back on your side so you could curl up as usual by his chest, waiting for him to settle in completely so that you could fall asleep - taking naps next to him in his bed was one of your favorite guilty pleasures.

Except he didn't settle in, opting to stay about an inch or two away from pressing his chest flush against your back. You realized he still hadn't taken off his haori either - odd for a man that preferred to be bare-chested most of the time.

In an almost reflexive action, you closed the small distance, finally relaxing all the way when you felt the support of his large muscular frame behind yours even though it wasn't skin to skin with all four of his arms around you like you would've ideally preferred.

But for a second you could've sworn you felt Sukuna tense, possibly even jolt slightly when you pressed yourself into his clothed chest.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes." Sukuna snapped. "Why wouldn't I be?"

You rolled your eyes where he couldn't see, faced away from him. "Then why are you being so jumpy? Are you hungry or something? Seriously, what's the ma-"

"Shhh." A large hand clamped onto your mouth, effectively muffling your chatter. "Give me some peace, just for once."

You had half a mind to nip at the skin of his palm but being here in his bed after days felt so good, too good, and you found yourself quickly becoming drowsy.

A few minutes passed by, and from the hand loosening its grip over your mouth you knew Sukuna was relaxing as well, falling into his "resting" state as he would call it (he personally believed he was above actually sleeping like humans did, and considered himself above such inane needs). You were half asleep yourself, body settling in and molding into his by instinct until you were encased by the warmth seeping from him through the fabric of his haori.

And then you felt it.

"What is that?" You sat up to find all four of Sukuna's eyes wide open.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Can you just go back to sleep?" He raised an arm to shove you back down to the pillow.

"I felt something wet on my back." You squirmed against his hold, managing to twist your torso over to face him. "Were you drooling on me?"

Sukuna scowled, huffing in indignation. "No, I did not drool on you. Do you always have to be odd, woman? You're making a fuss over absolutely nothing."

You sat up fully, about to retort back when something caught your eye.

In his agitation, Sukuna hadn't noticed a rather noticeable wet patch had formed on the breast of his haori.

"What-" Before he could say anything you yanked the collar of his robe aside, your eyes widening at the sight.

Small pearlescent beads of a liquid had formed on his skin, around a pink nipple that had puffed up slightly.

"Are you... Is that..." Before he could do anything you quickly swiped away the other side of his haori, peeling it away to find the other nipple was inflamed slightly as well, with a sheen covering it indicating that-

"You're lactati-"

Sukuna pulled his haori to cover his pecs again, another hand once again closing over your mouth to keep you from speaking. "Shut. Up. Do not say a word." He growled through a jaw clenched so tight it looked like someone had burned him.

But it was too late, an impish grin unfurled across your lips under his hand, eyes shining in mischief at the state your king was in. You swiped a tongue across his palm before biting it, not hard enough to draw blood but enough for him to quickly draw his hand back in surprise.

"Fucking- you little fucking shit. What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

You were irritatingly fast when you wanted to be, swinging a leg over his body to climb atop his lap. Now you straddled him, the smug smirk on your lips growing by the second.

"Is that-"

"Don't say it."

"-milk?!"

He slapped a hand on his face, letting out a low growl of frustration. "Yes, its milk. If you say a word about it to anyone else I'm going to slice off your tongue and make you eat it. Now leave me alone." He demanded.

But neither his sharp glare nor threats could stop you as you opened his haori to expose his chest, gentler than before this time. "Don't worry I don't intend on telling anyone. It's not like I want to share anyways."

"Share? What are you..." Sukuna caught the look on your face. "No. Don't even think about it, I am serious- ahh"

His sentence ended with the closest you've ever heard Sukuna come to whimpering as your lips descended onto the ring of his right nipple. His reaction only spurred you on, and you quickly lapped up the droplet of milk that had collected and swallowed.

You weren't sure what you expected it to taste like, but it certainly wasn't this.

It was ironic how a man as angry and violent as Sukuna produced such a lovely tasting substance. His milk was mildly sweet with a slightly bitter aftertaste, like burnt sugar in the best way possible.

So fucking good.

His hand knotted in your hair in an attempt to pry you off from his nipple but your hands were already roaming his pecs, towards the other dripping bud. You rolled it between your fingers as you laved your warm tongue around his areola, feeling his chest heave under you while he began to pant. "Stop...it. You're so fucking weird-"

You rolled your eyes up at his strained expression and gave his nipple a hard suck before he could react. More liquid filled your mouth, almost as sweet as the look on his face. You greedily swallowed, suckling harder while massaging his full pecs with your hands.

"Mhm." You hummed around his skin as you felt a shiver run down his body.

"God, have- fuck, have some... decorum, woman." Sukuna was trying so terribly hard to keep his voice steady, the feat proving itself even more difficult when you decided to do the opposite of his request and lewdly swirl your tongue around, stimulating the area so more milk would flow.

You looked up at him, eyes hazy now in ecstasy, white liquid dripping from the corners of your lips as you fed. The sight was so dirty it sent blood rushing straight to his cocks and they rapidly hardened under where you were seated.

You released your mouth, detaching it from the wet and leaking patch of skin with a gossamer strand of saliva that broke away before flashing him another devilish look.

"You love this." You teased, with a grinding of your hips for emphasis to let him know his hard-ons hadn't gone unnoticed.

"You're not doing much better yourself, slut." With an opportunity to gain a little leverage over you, he gave a pointed glance to where your pussy sat on top of his clothed cocks, drenched in your leaking arousal.

You couldn't even pretend to be ashamed, though. "I can't help it. You taste so good, and you look so cute when you're embarrassed-"

"I'm not embarrassed," He gritted, "You're just violating me like the little freak you are."

"But you liked it."

"That's enough of this nonsense, get off me."

You pouted. "But your other tit is still full."

He looked at you in disgust. "Do not call it that."

You continued looking at him as he looked conflicted, deciding between his ego and pleasure.

"Fine." He finally ceded, much to your delight. "Do the other one." This time he guided your head to his other breast. "But be gentle for fuck's sake, they're sensitive-"

Whatever lecture he was giving you about being gentle had clearly fallen on deaf ears as you immediately latched your lips around his nipple and began sucking and nipping to no abandon.

You grinded on his cocks as you drank, feeling them harden even more under you.

"Slow - ah - down,"

But you only did the opposite, working over the tender flesh like you were starved. The milk trickled down everywhere, dripping down your chin and you could make out the faintest floral notes in it. The taste of him turned you on even more and you rutted against the outlines of his hard dicks, feeling the mess you were making on his hakama under your slick skin.

"Fuck, you filthy girl." The grip in your hair tightened, releasing an involuntary moan from your lips against his chest amidst the obscenely wet noises of your mouth. "I'm - fuck, fuck-"

Sukuna's hips jerked up, taking you by surprise as you felt his cocks twitching violently before his whole body stiffened as he bit down on his lips to keep himself from moaning out loud. Finally after a few seconds his muscles laxed, leaving you confused for a second before you felt the sticky, hot liquid soaking through his hakama and onto your thighs.

You smiled cheekily upon realizing, "Did you just..."

The look he was giving you was straight up murderous, and might have been enough to actually scare you if it weren't for the flustered pink that tinted his cheeks.

"Stop using your mouth to yap, and put it to use for once." He smirked, regaining his composure and though he'd already came his dicks weren't entirely soft yet beneath you. "Clean it up- since you love milk so much."

It was your turn to feel heat creep into your cheeks as the dynamic shifted and you understood you were being put back into your place with how he was grinning down at you. It didn't help the throbbing between your own legs.

You shifted down till your head was between his massive thighs, pulling off the hakama till his cocks were uncovered, still somewhat hard with blushed tips still sticky with drying cum. A hand wove into your hair, collecting it into a ponytail and lifting it to the side so he could get a good view as you eyes the viscous liquid smeared across the skin on his dicks and pelvis.

You stuck your tongue out, beginning with a single swipe through some of the liquid that had pooled on his skin above his top cock to taste it.

Salty.

It kind of complemented his milk, you thought.

This taste was one you were familiar with, though you loved it just the same. It showed in how you devotedly lapped at his skin, caressing it and closing your eyes to savor the taste of him on your tongue.

He breathed out at the sensation, running his fingers through your hair as he pet you. "Such a needy little cumslut." He purred. "Look at how greedily you drink my milk and my cum. And you were asking me if I was hungry?"

You squeezed your thighs together, trying to alleviate some of pulsing in your clit with the uncomfortable amount of wetness that had collected there. But the ache was too much, distracting you from cleaning the mess on his skin.

You looked up at him, eyes brimming with frustrated lust.

"What's the matter, pet? I didn't tell you to stop."

"I...need to cum. I don't think I can hold on any longer." You admitted breathlessly, looking up at him through your lashes as innocently as you could manage so that he'd forget about how you'd agonized him earlier and show some mercy.

You were met with a wolfish grin. "After what you pulled? I'm not laying a finger on your cunt. Figure it out yourself." He twisted your hair around his fist, shoving your head back down. "And get back to doing what I told you, slut. Do you have a problem following instructions?"

You bit your tongue, feeling irritated and unsatisfied even though you knew damn well you had this coming. You rubbed against his silken sheets as you bent over to go back to licking drying pools of his cum, sure you'd were making a mess on the fabric which provided no relief at all. Your hands roamed, fingertips skimming across the tops of his muscular thighs, tracing the dark tatted band that encircled them when the idea hit you.

You eagerly lifted your own leg to straddle a well toned quad, mouth leaving his skin for a second as you whined at the feel of his burning skin against your sex.

"I figured...it out...ahh, fuck." You bragged through small whimpers and moans as you grinded your sopping cunt onto the planes of muscle that adorned his thigh, tilting your pelvis forward so that your clit could rub deliciously along the firm curves.

Sukuna watched you hungrily, drinking in the sight of you getting off so brazenly on his thigh. "You're so fucking pathetic, you know that?"

"Mhm." You absentmindedly agreed, unable to care enough right now to preserve your dignity because of how good it felt. You dipped your head against and went back to sucking and licking the skin on and around his shaft, tongue dragging along in messy stripes as you humped his leg relentlessly, already feeling your pent up orgasm rearing its head.

"Just like that. Do I taste good, pet?" Sukuna asked though the both of you already knew the answer.

"Yes, yes! So fucking good." You babbled against his skin, desperately trying to get every last drop of his seed, wishing he still had more milk to spare.

He clenched his muscles and the sudden movement against your clit caused your orgasm to finally crash down on you, leaving you slack jawed and wide eyed at how sinfully good it felt.

You rode out your high, hips undulating back and forth until finally the last wave of your climax left your body limp. You collapsed onto his chest catching your breath.

When you felt yourself coming back to your senses, you crawled up to his chest and slapped a pec, earning a strangled noise from him. "So when are these things gonna fill back up?"

[chrissvalentine]

✧˖*° ࿐ on cam. ⋆· ˚ ༘ *

read part two. part three.

pairing: enemy!chris sturniolo x reader

summary: reader & matt are fwb, and chris seems a little jealous

warnings: SMUTTTT, dom!chris, oral, unprotected, roughhh, degrading names (slut, etc.), slapping, use of ma/baby, camera/recording, praise kink, choking if you squint, arguing

you and chris had known eachother since you were kids, just like you had with the two other triplets. so matt and nick were confused when you two had suddenly become distant and rude towards each other in car videos.

so, they decided you and chris needed some alone time to work out whatever conflict had been going to between the two of you. so, they set you two down on their living room couch, and told you both exactly that. after that, they had left you two alone, and went to the store to get some things for tomorrows wednesday video.

the second nick and matt stepped out of the door, you shot up from the couch to leave this situation as soon as possible.

you're quickly stopped by chris grabbing your arm, and pulling you back down onto the couch.

he looks at you like he wasn't the one who ruined your friendship.

the truth was, you and chris had something going on a few years back. but you cut it off, and went back to being friends. for awhile, you had no idea why he had started being such a jerk to you in recent months. but eventually you pieced together a suspicion that it could be about what's going on between you and matt.

you and matt hadn't had anything truly serious going on. just flirting, and occasional making out, but chris didn’t know that.

but apparently that hadn't stopped chris from being jealous, because he speaks in a playful tone, "i know what's going on between you and my brother."

you look at him confidently, and respond confidently as well. "okay.. do you want a cookie?"

chris rolls his eyes at you and inches closer to you on the couch. he grips your wrist tighter, which causes you to whimper softly in response.

chris isn't saying anything, so you decide to speak up again, "i don't understand why your upset with me chris, i thought you would be over us by now."

chris responds swiftly, like he had already had this conversation in his head before it happened. "i am over us, but i'm not over us if your with my brother."

you look at him confused, you understand that he could be jealous, but that's not like him. he could literally get any girl he wanted. "chris, what? are you seriously jealo-"

he cuts you off by slamming your faces together, his hand that was gripped tightly on your arm suddenly moves to your waist.

he pulls you closer to him, almost onto his lap as he pushes his tongue into your mouth. you allow him entrance as your mouth opens and a soft whimper falls out.

his grip on your hips tightens as the kiss deepens. chris can't help himself, the desire to make you his becoming stronger with each second.

you pull away from the kiss for a slight moment, just long enough for him to pull you fully onto his lap, his forehead resting against yours as you try to catch your breath.

he glances at your swollen lips, and gently traces his thumb over them.

"you have no idea what you do to me." he says, before starting to move his hips around to create friction, just where you want it.

"i've been trying so hard to stay away from you," he murmurs, his lips brushing against your neck as he speaks.

“but you just can’t help yourself, huh? went and got with my brother like the slut you are.”

he places soft kisses along your neck, his teeth lightly nibbling at your skin. his hands begin to roam all over your body, exploring every inch of you as if he's trying to memorize every curve and detail.

his kisses become more intense, his tongue swirling against your skin as his hands grab your hips, and slowly grind you against him.

"chris. fuck," you mumble into the kiss.

he suddenly breaks the kiss, his breathing ragged as he looks at you, his eyes dark with desire. he runs his fingers through his hair as he tries to regain his composure.

he tugs at your shirt, motioning for you to take it off. you oblige as he reaches for something behind the couch. his hands searching for something specific, and finally grasping it.

chris pulls out a camera.

his eyes linger on you as you take off your shirt, biting his lip softly as he watches the reveal of your skin.

"your so beautiful," he whispers before motioning for you to take your shorts off. you comply, as he swiftly pulls off his shirt and sweatpants.

you cover your body with your arms, just for chris to take them off so he can see your body. "ma, let me see you." he mumbles.

chris then takes out the camera, and starts recording as he slowly takes off your bra.

he pans the camera down to your bare tits, "fuck, baby" he mumbled as you breathed deeply, unable to move as he moves the camera down to your lap.

"now your panties," he requests.

"but- your filiming. i-" you stuttered.

"so? strip." he interrupted

again, you do as he says. you slowly take off your panties as he spins you around for the camera. you couldn't help but notice how much his demanding tone turned you on. you maintained eye contact with him as you discarded your panties on the floor.

"so sexy, ma" he praised

chris discarded his boxers as he gave the camera a better view of your exposed body.

"shit," he groaned as he inched closer towards you.

you slowly turned around, to hopefully give him and the camera a better view. he snickered before running his hands past your tits, and up to your neck.

"you gonna let your little 'boyfriends" brother fuck you, slut?" he whispered while gently squeezing his hand around your neck.

his actions caused you to whimper, as he brought his free hand down sharply against your skin. his hand then slides down past your waist, pulling you even tighter against him.

"chris, please." you whisper, your voice strained with effort.

"what? use your words ma," he teased, clearly knowing what you wanted, but wanting to hear you say it.

"chris please fuck me," you plead desperately, needing him inside you.

chris chuckled, letting go of you and pushing you onto the couch. he pumped himself with his free hand before lining himself up with your pussy. his tip teased you as you looked back at the camera with a grin.

as you focus on the camera, he snickered again just before shoving himself quickly into your pussy. he smiled as he noticed he captured your face in that moment on camera.

"chris," you cried out, as he slapped your ass again.

"can't take my dick slut? i know you can." he huffed

at his sudden actions, you feel your walls clench as you adjust to his size. before you could make any more noise, chris brings his free hand to your face, and shoves two of his fingers into your mouth.

"you're taking me so well baby." he dryly praised as he adds another finger into your mouth.

chris continues slamming in and out of you as you suck on his fingers. your whimpers become louder and louder with each thrust. this whole time, he's making sure the camera gets a perfect view of everything happening.

"who fucks you better?" he suddenly groaned.

"what..? fuck," you replied confused.

"who fucks you better, slut? me or my brother,"

"you.. fuck, you fuck me better chris," you panted.

chris smirked at your response. as you feel your orgasm approaching, your walls begin to clench around chris' dick. looking back at him for approval, he grants it while chasing his own.

"that's it. fuck, come for me baby." he groaned as you felt your orgasm reach its highest point.

"get on your knees baby," chris ordered. you followed and settled down on your knees as you looked up at him, still holding the camera.

"open your mouth," he demanded as he ran his free hand through your hair before using it to pump himself, before entering your mouth. you took him all the way to the back of your throat, with his free hand gripped against the back of your head.

"fuck, that's it.. i'm close," he whimpered as he began to thrust into your wet mouth. your eyes formed tears as he released down your throat.

he slowly pulled out of your mouth, holding your jaw with his free hand. showing the camera the mess he had made.

he saved the video as you panted, trying to catch your breath.

"chris! what if someone sees that??" you whispered, embarrassed.

"that's the point sweetheart." he snickered as he put the camera down.

a/n: 😬😬 how do we feel… first time writing smut..

[229zmi]

MY HEART, IT BEATS FOR YOU

Nagi Seishirō/Reader | 1.0k words, fluff, jealous nagi

Nagi, generally, is an apathetic person.

Yet somehow, there’s a taut feeling that twists its way through the gaps of his ribcage, stretching around his heart as his eyes linger on the fabric that hangs around your shoulders. Seeing you on the couch, casually scrolling on your phone while wearing a jacket he can’t recognise as yours or, even better, his as much as he wants to — the sight elicits something that’s not quite a painful feeling, but it isn’t exactly pleasant either, he thinks.

The wheels are still turning in his head when you finally acknowledge his presence with a smile, oblivious to the way he’s not even looking at you when you tell him, “Hey, Sei.”

Instead, he trudges over to you with the same passion as that of a sloth, and his voice comes out small, almost as if that same feeling in his chest has crawled past his shoulder to constrict his throat.

“That jacket— it’s not yours, is it?” It’s plain and simple, the way he states the observation, yet laced with the most marginal hint of spite.

“No, it’s Reo’s,” you confirm without missing a beat, and he narrows his eyes, so subtly that you don’t even catch it. You continue on about how you bumped into Reo by pure coincidence on your way to run an errand and how the weather’s been so volatile lately, oscillating between warm and sunny one day and freezing cold during the next. But Nagi—

Well—

Here’s the thing: as impassive as he is most of the time, Nagi is a great listener when it comes to you.

You’ve always been a priority to him and even more so in that facet. To relish in the fleeting moments of winning a game on his phone, or to know what happens in the latest chapter of his favourite manga as soon as possible — the rush of satisfaction he gets out of those is nice, he supposes, but not worth missing a word of what you say, be it something miscellaneous about your day or the biggest news he’s ever heard in his life.

And certainly, nothing is worth missing the small habits that make themselves known in your conversation, that make up the you he first swore love to near the bench outside the convenience store, holding your favourite snack in one hand and offering his jacket to you with his other because the harshness of springtime winds had swept away any warmth your flimsy sweater could contain.

It’s your facial expressions, your gestures, the way you look toward him at the end of each rambling, as if to ask, Are you listening? So then, he’ll answer— a nod, as if to say, Yes. Of course. Please say more. Because for you, it’s all ears and eyes wide open on his end.

But Nagi, admittedly, isn’t perfect, and this is not a matter of opinion. Even you can see the way he can’t stop staring hard at your jacket as though he’s trying to telepathically morph it into something that looks like it came from his closet instead.

Midway through an elaborate plan to sell the jacket for an outrageously high price on some sketchy website (you’re only half-joking… maybe), you finally notice his distant expression. “…Sei?”

His lack of response is all the confirmation you need for your suspicions. A grin then crosses your face, while your eyes sport a gleam that Nagi recognises as smugness once he eventually tears his focus away from the offending item of clothing.

You say his name again, this time teasingly. Then, “Are you jeal—?”

Your question cuts off unceremoniously when his hands reach over to latch onto the zipper of the jacket, pulling it down before tugging on the fabric near your shoulders. Despite the boldness of his actions, you don’t make any move to stop him as he flings Reo’s jacket across the room, hearing it land on the floor with a satisfying sound.

Moments later, he shrugs his jacket off in one smooth motion and then drapes it over your body. With his large palms smoothing over the fabric against your upper arms, it’s such a sweet gesture that you can’t find it in yourself to complain, although the opportunity to poke fun at him is hard to let slip.

“Woah, there.” Cheekily, you brush that one abnormally long part of his bangs away from his face and poke the tip of his nose, to which he responds with his signature pout before burying his face into the crook of your neck. As your back hits the cushion of the arm rest behind you and your hands come up to comb through his hair, you feel a bout of warmth surge through your collarbone area, accompanied by the sound of his voice muffled by your skin.

“I’m not jealous.”

A smile dances around the corners of your mouth despite your efforts to conceal it. “Really?” you say. “I think you are.”

“Nuh-uh,” he grumbles. “You can’t prove it.”

“I mean. You’re kinda all over me right now.”

He huffs at the flurry of giggles that tumble from your mouth boundlessly, like clothes spilling out of an overpacked suitcase. Though, when your laughter finally simmers down and humour seems to have come to a standstill in your conversation, sentimentality weaves its way into your voice, in between mixed undertones of reassurance and leftover amusement.

(Because what you’re about to say is nothing but the truth itself: ardent and vulnerable, despite the sheer casualness in the way you present it.)

“You’re the only one my heart beats for, Seishirō.”

Lazily, he peers up at you. “Promise?”

“I promise. Besides,” you add, snuggling deeper into the collar of his jacket, “your jacket’s way warmer, anyway.”

That could be attributed to the fact that he has practically become your personal heater by sprawling his body over yours on the couch. Nevertheless, the envious fangs surrounding Nagi’s heart slacken, and with your fingers brushing through his hair once again, he can’t help himself from murmuring into your skin, sounding more relieved than he has ever sounded, “Good.”

[bleedingichorhearts]

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐇𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧’𝐬

𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗: Love this dude, and October is getting ever closer. Here’s some of my personalized headcanons.

𝕾𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞: Smut & Normal headcanons for the Dullahan.

TW // Smut, Teratophilia.

|°ᴛᴀɢ ʟɪꜱᴛ ᴀᴘᴘʟɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ°| |°ɪᴄʜᴏʀ’ꜱ ᴀᴏ3°| |°𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕃𝕚𝕤𝕥°|

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫: 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐇𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧

A fabled; mythical creature in folklore that can be described as a headless rider. Acting as a reaper of sorts: calling out his targets name before they perish.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜/𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜:

First off, how did you gather the attention of this headless reaper? Were you on the brink of death and suddenly fought back against him? Did you manage to just see him behead the next poor soul chosen to be judged? Did you possess his skull? Perhaps you were just wandering and found you; not ready to be judged yourself, alone, scared and cold? Tsk, tsk, that won’t do well with him. You must be perfectly ripe for when you are chosen.

So, the man just wraps his cloak around you and lifts you up in his arms with ease. I’m sorry, you get not choice in this matter. Man will pick you up whenever he likes. You’re kicking and screaming? His grip is like a damn dog with a chew toy. You would honestly hate to feel what he does to his victims when he would pull their hair up with such a grip before cutting their neck clean off.

Man would just plop you off at the edge of the forest too. Unwrapping his cloak from you before just… shaking you off; shooing you away, disregarding of you. The only thing he cares about in this situation is your soul that will eventually be judged. So why should he care about you when he watches from the tree line, making sure that you get into the town safely? Why should he care that he misses the warmth and the intoxicating smell your living body provides? You were a simple soul to collect, nothing more.

Honestly, you were not a simple soul to collect. You came back for more answers much to his dismay. He was(wasn’t) just starting to forget you… but nevertheless he provides his company for you. He isn’t that much of a monster to outright kill you for your curiosity’s, and he’ll either provide some answers or nothing at all depending on the question. “Why did you not kill me?” Silence. “What is your purpose?” You get a short answer. He’s a soldier in his past, what do you expect from him? A full blown explanation? Yeah, right. Something’s are just good to be left alone.

However, the Dullahan is rather courteous of you. He doesn’t get annoyed when you watch him like he should have been. Dullahans don’t like to be watched, but you? He likes you to ogle him, watch him whenever you can. He won’t outright show it or say it, but you have a sneaky suspicion that he does like you to watch him, but with anyone else? They either get the crack of the human spine whip or get a basin of blood over them. A sign of irritation and a possible mark of death for the person. Yeah, you gonna have to calm him down whenever someone stares at him, and this includes you too.

He hates when someone stares at you for to long like, it’s above his own level of irritation. He gets super pissed off, and it’s an automatic death warrant for whoever thinks they can lay their eyes on you. He knows he can’t kill them however, but when their time came? He’ll make sure to make it slow, but in the meantime? He’ll make sure to induce fear into the poor soul.

Please, somehow find a piece of gold and watch how his whole attitude changes. The usual stoic, quiet horseman now a shuffling away from you with long strides, hissing at you and hiding behind stuff, making it look like it was some sort of sibling fight. When you do eventually grant him to be free of the gold in your hands he will be huffy with you. How dare you insult him with such weaponry? He’ll avoid you for a certain amount of time (checking for more gold) before returning to you. Probably giving payback for what you did to him.

Would let you ride his horse that had an uncanny liking for you as well, but only on one condition: to let him sit behind you. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you, but he likes the warmth of your body against his undead one. Likes to hold you close and thumb at your stomach and lean over to bask in your presence. It’s definitely not because he touch-starved, totally not. Don’t give him that look. He’ll push you in the creek.

Speaking of water, man’s cannot cross running water without having help. So, I mean, you can use this to your advantage, and you definitely do. Sometimes you just like to spray a some water at him from a water bottle for the fun off it. It’s doesn’t do anything much to him, but a tiny sizzle. What does, is that you do it repeatedly. Attacking him with a weaponry he never seen before and definitely holds a new found spite for such contraption. Especially when it blocks him from touching you. He makes a vow that he will hunt down every last waterbottle so you can’t use it to keep him away.

On the more… courtship side. This undead, headless man is rather a hopeless romantic. Loves to invest his time with you as much as he can. Presenting you dead, intact roses that somehow don’t crumble in your hands. Offering you his hand, a soulless skull, and his cloak whenever the chance arises. Even going as far as daydreaming about you. Once again, he’s, was a soldier, what do you expect from him wanting to have a lover to care for? To receive such affection he longed for in the beginning?

𝐒𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥/𝐒𝐦𝐮𝐭:

Dullahans mate for life, so you bet yourself that he is keeping you to himself in any moment he can. Caressing you any moment he can get to you. Again, definitely not because he touch-staved, but because he’s a bit possessive. He doesn’t want you to leave him for some higher power or perhaps something lower. He hopes that you know that he mates for life as he will be absolutely devastated if he finds out you were disloyal with him. He won’t try and win you back either, but if someone challenges him for you? He’ll take that offer to keep you at his side.

Man is quite vanilla at first. He wants to explore you, find out what makes you tick the quickest and the slowest. He wants to worship your body that takes the cold of him so well. His cock warming up within your warm body. He takes it slow, no matter how hard you whine, struggle and cry. He’s testing his boundaries as well as yours. His will top tier here. Nothing will sway and stop him to savor; appreciate your willingness to become his in this moment of intimacy. You are both becoming mates for life after all.

Oh, he would bite the hell out of you if he could. Mark you up and down with his teeth, maybe spill a little bit of your blood to taste. To scar you just a bit to remind you of who you belong to. That you have accepted him as your mate just as he did with you. That nothing shall keep you apart as your souls make a pact with one another. I mean, he could mark you with his decapitated head, but it maybe a lot of work to keep the head up with a hand. So it’s often stored in a very safe place so he doesn’t die on you if someone finds it and smashes it.

However, just because he can’t bite you doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to use his fingers, and man is he a pleasurable horror with them. You’re not sure if you want to snap at him, push him, cry out or even do all three at him. He is that good. Curling his fingers in all the best places inside and out. Knowing just where to make you tick from the first time he explored your body. He gives a deep, phantom-like laugh each time he hears you cry out in ecstasy when he manages to find your g-spot with ease. Pleased that he is doing his job as a mate very, very well.

You know when he throws a warning of blood at the ones that look at him? Well this kinda applies to you. He likes to dip his fingers in some of the blood and trace it over your body. In a trance as he watches the blood seep over your skin and down below you. His own arousal coming forth seeing you covered in it, and it isn’t long before he has you pinned beneath him, moaning out for him. Man definitely has a soft blood play kink. He won’t injure you though for the blood, but when that time of the month comes? It’s a bet between time and his incredible senses.

Sometimes when he gets a bit huffy, kiss his neck; nibble it. Your powerful Dullahan has just become shocked and striked down as horny. Do it repeatedly, mark his neck and he’ll melt into a puddle of goo underneath you. Not only are you showing him that you are wanting to love him and be loyal to him, but you are also showing that he is worthy himself, that you’re accepting him. He will become a little submissive to you during this, but only for a moment. It won’t be long before he gets tired of your teasing and will flip you over and raw dog you, purring almost drunkenly into your ear.

Oh, dress in revealing gold too, if you can, and tease the hell out of him with it. He’ll freeze in his spot, looking you up and down. His hand twitching before he scowls down at you. How dare you do this treachery with him? Tease him with your body that he most definitely can’t touch as you wander about, doing your tasks? He’ll stand there horny, brewing and tentatively watch you. Waiting for any opening you might give, and he swears one day he’ll figure out how to counter the gold, but until then? He’ll wait for his opportunity to dash for you when you strip tease him. You definitely didn’t leave the place he railed you in after having his “rewarding” fill.

Being a creature of old, of course he would want a heir. Thats all they wanted back then in the Middle Ages. So you definitely bet he’ll put you in a mating press and give it his all. Desperate to make you swell with a child that would be his and yours of blood and soul, at your permission of course. He maybe classed as evil or a monster, but he isn’t immoral. He respects your wishes.

Another thing to tease him on is by swimming in the water. As stated before he cannot go through running water without help. So, to have you swimming and away from him makes his boil as well. He can’t get to you without you coming to him or to get something that will help him snatch you right out of the water and take you right on the bank of the water. You’re also going to need help walking which he would be happy to provide you. Definitely not going to cockwarm you to keep his own cock warm.

Run away from him and he’ll take it as a challenge. That you want him to prove something to you like his strength, stamina or something of the latter. He loves these little chases as it proves himself to you, but it also well… arouses him. He gets to see how your body moves and twists away from him. His senses hyper aware of you at all times, and to prove to you that he can provide? He’ll capture you, pin you to the forest floor and claim you then and there. Showing you repeatedly what he is made of, and why he should be yours. You won’t forget it. ;)

[allllium]

andrewgarfield!peterparker x reader where reader has the biggest crush on peter but doesn't know he's spiderman? angst to fluff please!

have lovely day/night <3

Unrequited (I've always loved you)

~ Sorry this took so long and it's a lot longer than I usually write but I love how it turned out <3

~ Fluff, hurt/comfort?, Angst, WC: 2,274

~ Your best friend has a secret

Being in love sucks. Being in love with someone that's not in love with you sucks even more. But that's fine. Everything's fine. Nothing can go wrong when you're in love with your best friend.

Peter looks over at you as you repeatedly tap your pencil against your notebook, very obviously not doing the homework. You're sitting on his bed while he's across from you at his desk. Ignoring the tap from your pencil, you look around his room, lost in random thoughts, well thoughts mostly of him.

"You alright?" He asks, soft voice coming from a few feet away.

"Ugh, just bored." You slightly whine. Standing from the bed to look more around his nerdy room. All the walls are covered with different things that you don't really understand.

He just nods and returns to his work. You admire him from your stance behind him. The way his fluffy hair falls softly in front of his face or the way he's dressed so casually but still looks so good. You don't understand how one person can be so perfect. Not to mention the way he's stronger than he looks, allowing him to maintain his lanky figure that fits him so well.

Out of your boredom you start rummaging through all the stuff he has lying on his bookshelf, which leads to opening all the drawers you can find. You continuously look over at him to see if he has a problem with what you're doing but he makes no move to stop you even as he watches what you're doing.

As you're digging around you eventually reach his closet, you're a little hesitant because you don't wanna press your luck too far but what are best friends if not nosy. His closet is small and way overcrowded with clothes you swear he's never worn. You wouldn't doubt that his aunt tried to sneak them in to help him fit in more.

Something catches your eye as you go to shut the door. You wouldn't think anything of it but the red color of it deeply contrasts the rest of the closet. It looks like fabric but it's not hanging up with the rest of his clothes. Instead it's in a box on the floor, only a piece of it visible as if he rushed to put it away.

Peter shoots out of his chair when you bend down towards the box. He grabs your arm and pulls you away so he can quickly shut the door.

"What was that?" You ask in suspicion. Peter's reaction is one you haven't seen from him before.

"Nothing." He tells you, a serious look falling over his face. He pushes you a little further so he can stand between you and the door.

"Peter, c'mon." You deadpan. All the embarrassing things it could possibly be run through your head. Nothing you think of would warrant this much of a reaction.

"No. Leave it alone." He doesn't exactly snap at you but it's definitely on the line of it.

"Okay then. I'll go now." You tell him quickly. You gather up your stuff and look at him one more time before leaving, his gaze is focused on the floor in front of him. Shaking your head in even more confusion, you leave.

You don't see him for the rest of the day. Or the next day. Or even the day after that. You get the feeling he's avoiding you. It's a mystery why you think to yourself in a sarcastic tone.

Of course you see him around school but he always does more than necessary to avoid looking at you. At this point you're determined to know what was in that box. Is it a huge violation of his privacy, yes. Do you care, no, not one bit. If he doesn't want you to violate his privacy, why would he hide things from you? Make it make sense.

It's not that hard to get access to his closet considering Aunt May will let you in the house will no explanation. After school you walk right in, she gives you a bright smile and continues whatever it is she's doing. Not one question.

You have no problem going into his room, he's probably off skateboarding or whatever else nerds do in their free time. Once you get your hands on the box, that he's now shut completely, you have second thoughts. Maybe it really is wrong of you to invade his privacy like this? Oh well you open it anyway.

Holy shit. You don't even know what to think as you pull out a spiderman costume. You think, well hope, it's a costume because you don't know what to think about your best friend being the New York superhero.

How? When? How again? Is this why he's so strong? You've been friends with Peter long before Spiderman showed up which means he chose not to tell you. Is it because he doesn't trust you? Or maybe he doesn't like you as much as you like him? That stings.

Now you know why he was so adamant you leave it alone. But how is this even possible? He swings from buildings and fights giant lizards. How are you supposed to believe that your Peter can be doing that?

You quickly put the suit back in the box and hurry out of his room. As you rush down the stairs, he's coming up, running into his shoulder halfway down. You know he immediately knows but you keep running anyway.

He doesn't even stop to explain as he continues up the stairs. You walk home and wonder if there's any possibility it was just a Halloween costume.

Your phone rings over and over and over. It's obviously Peter. It's only nine in the morning on a Saturday so you have no plans of getting up or moving enough to answer your phone.

You're guessing he's mad. He should be. Now that you know what it is you can think a little clearer and you understand that maybe you should've respected his wishes a little more.

You don't answer the phone because you know he'll be mad and you don't want him to ever be mad at you. Or he'll be sad and you don't want that either. But of course, above all, you don't want to admit to him that you were wrong.

Once you finally get to moving out of bed, you spend a lot of time reading articles on Spiderman and trying to figure out how he does what he does. Now that you know Peter is Spiderman some of it makes more sense but all the other stuff makes even less sense.

Your phone rings a couple more times and you get a dozen messages but eventually they all stop. You focus your time on reading every single thing you can about him. From everything about the giant lizard to saving cats from trees and catching falling women.

"That was an interesting day." A voice comes from behind you. You jump out of your seat and turn to face them. A not so flattering shriek leaves your mouth and your heart beats faster than you thought possible.

"Peter, what the fuck." You gasp. Heart still racing and breathing slightly heavy. You take a moment to look at him, taking notice of his messy hair and the fact that he's in the Spiderman suit. Obviously he looks insanely hot but very very angry.

"Oh what? Did I invade your privacy?" He mocks, throwing down the mask you're just noticing was in his hand.

"I mean you came through the window so I'd say so." You whisper, not sure what you're actually supposed to say.

"I guess we're even now huh." He takes a seat on your bed and you almost want to say something about outside clothes on your bed but you don't have that right.

"Yeah I'd say so." A simple shrug of your shoulders has him rolling his eyes.

"That's the second time you've said that."

"I don't know what else to say."

"I wonder why." He mutters, more to himself than anyone else.

"Were you ever gonna tell me?" You ask, hurt covering your voice.

"I wanted to." You sit next to him on your bed.

"No you didn't. You should've told me."

"I don't see how it's any of your business." The setting sun shining in through your window glows on his face. You can see every detail of both him and his suit.

"Because we're friends. I don't know, maybe it wasn't."

"Really? You're gonna play this card." He stands in front of you.

"What card, Peter?" You almost yell back.

"You! Acting all sad and betrayed, trying to pretend you don't know if we were ever real friends." He's yelling now too.

"What does that even mean!? I'm allowed to be upset when you keep something like this from me!" You stand up, not liking the way he was looking down at you.

"It's none of your business." He enunciates every word to get his point across.

"Fine. It's not my problem. I shouldn't have done it. Now get out of my room."

He stares at you for a full minute. Like he's not done with whatever he wants to say or maybe he just wasn't expecting you to snap. Either way he respects your wishes, waiting only a moment more to leave out your bedroom window.

The next week rolls around very similar to the last. You go to school, you go home. Peter still avoids you, and what looks like everyone else. Throughout the whole week you don't see him talk to Gwen or anyone else he usually hangs out with.

It's not until Thursday that Gwen actually comes up to talk to you. Usually you would talk everyday but she's been more than busy with her band.

"Hey, are you alright?" She asks, coming up behind you as you put stuff back in your locker.

"Yeah, why?"

"I don't know Peter's being weird and all mopey so I thought he finally kissed you or something." She sighs so freely like she didn't just say something like that.

"What do you mean finally? Why would he kiss me?" She looks panicked. Clearly she wasn't supposed to say something but everyone knows Gwen isn't someone that keeps secrets very well.

"Fuck." She turns around and starts walking off. You slam your locker shut and follow her.

"No, no, no, no. Gwen, you get back here."

"I can't, I wasn't supposed to say that." She starts walking through people and down random halls.

"Gwen, you better get talking or I'm telling Peter what you already told me." That makes her stop in tracks. She turns to you with a look of both disbelief and betrayal.

"You're not even on speaking terms!"

"We'll go on speaking terms outta spite."

"Fine, I'll tell you but you can't tell anyone." She points her finger at you accusingly.

"Who would I tell?"

"Peter may be an insy tinsy bit in love with you."

"Gwen!"

"What? I'm not the one in love with you!"

You take a deep breath while you try to process everything you've learned in the past three minutes.

"I've been trying to get him to admit it to you forever but he didn't want to do it until he told you he's Spiderman." She continues her explanation, not realizing she's yet again saying more than she's supposed to.

"So you already knew he was Spiderman?"

"Fuck." She whines and turns to leave again but this time you let her. It's not her fault Peter didn't trust you. Or that he's in love with you.

"Gwen told me she told you." Peter says, not even a moment after you opened your front door. "And so I guess I don't really have a choice but to explain myself. And I mean that literally because Gwen is giving me no choice." He talks quickly. It sounds like he's trying to say it as fast as possible to get it over with.

"Wanna come in?" You ask, again not knowing what to say. It's funny how all it takes is his presence to make you more nervous than you ever have been.

He walks in hesitantly and doesn't move further than the entryway before he starts talking again.

"I only told her first because I'm not in love with her. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want it to affect anything, but I didn't want to tell you I was in love with you before I told you that I was Spiderman because it didn't feel right to keep that a secret."

"That makes no sense." You run your hands tiredly over your face. "I mean seriously at least have a good excuse."

"I don't have one. Okay, I don't know why I didn't tell you."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I love you and I don't want this to ruin anything." He looks down at his feet, breaking the eye contact you were making.

"I love you too but if I was a superhero I'd tell you."

"I know you would. I don't know why I didn't." He shrugs. "Did you just say you love me?"

"Not if it takes you that long to notice." You smile, forgetting about being mad.

"I really am sorry." He says, stepping closer to you.

"So am I." You say, also taking a step closer.

"Can I kiss you?" He asks, closing the space between you.

"Of course." Your smile grows even wider as his lips reach yours.

[allthornsnopetals]

Being Jealous

:Includes:

E.Bridgerton

D.Bridgerton

V.Bridgerton

:E.Bridgerton:

She simply cannot help it, especially during the debutante season.

She understands that ladies of the Ton are expected to search for Suitors and marry, after all, it is the marriage mart. But it doesn't stop the gnawing at her gut or the heated glares, that she is rather terrible at hiding.

Eloise knows, that you love her, and would 100% dodge every man in and out of the Ton for her, simply because your heart has already devoted itself to her, but again it does not dampen the rage, and her mood.

She would let the feeling simmer, simply because in society she can't do anything.

She does not mean to let it grow, simply wanting to avoid confrontation, and trying to remind herself that what you are doing is simply a ruse, and to avoid suspicion of your relationship, but that all goes to hell at some point.

It builds up over time and eventually blows up, during a ball or gather of some sorts when she finds you dancing or chatting with another eligible Suitor, who is rather obvious with his intentions.

She storms out of the room, of course with you noticing and excusing yourself, searching for her in a hidden hallway, in order to make sure that she is okay.

"El, are you okay? Is something the matter?" Said Y/n, finding her love weeping angry tears.

"Yes, everything is just fine. It's just the dust, it's burning my eyes."

Y/n chuckles, finding her poor attempt to lie, rather amusing. She drew closer to her, wiping her tears away with the pads of her thumbs, and handed her a handkerchief, tucked away in her purse. "I love you Eloise Bridgerton, but you are a terrible liar." She held her close, rubbing soothing circles on her back.

Eloise pulls away, cleaning herself up. "Well, tell that to Lord kiss-my-ass. Tell him that your heart is already full, occupied by another." Her tone was rather blunt, angry and even sad.

But Y/n simply grinned, cupping her cheek, and pecking her cheek. "If you are jealous, my love, we can leave. I can inform my mama that I am feeling unwell. And perhaps I could show you my love in a more private setting."

It takes a lot of kisses, yearning touches, and perhaps a week in the country together to reassure her.

Next time, do better at lowering your number of dances and Lords you interact with, just in case.

:D.Bridgerton:

It isn't jealous but doubt with her.

Daphne is a lot more challenging to convince, in my perspective. She begins to question your love, thinking that you would slip away from her, and marry a Lord, duke or even a prince.

Her desire for love is rather a large part of herself, so when she begins to think that you do not love her, it gets a bit sticky and even messy between you and her.

She isn't angry, like Eloise but sad, feeling as if her heart is shattering, thinking that you have changed your mind about devoting your heart to her.

She might withdraw herself, becoming distant and even avoiding you at times.

But her mama is always watching, and she notices that something is wrong.

Violet noticed her daughter longingly staring at Y/n, clearly missing her, and wanting to be near her dear friend. She does not know what is truly between them but she can tell when someone yearns to be in the presence of someone extremely dear to them.

"You have not spoken to Miss Y/n in sometime. Has something caused a breaking between you and her?" Said Violet, sitting beside her daughter, watching Y/n frolic and interact with a possible Suitor.

Daphne shook her head, but her pout made Violet think otherwise. "Sometimes friends fight, misunderstand, and even begin to feel unwanted by the person they cherish most." Violet held her hand, drawing her attention.

"Whatever it may be that caused such a drift, perhaps talking might just fix it. It might just fix the spoken feelings as well." She stood, withdrawing herself, and allowing Daphne to think.

But that is all it took. She did not want to feel this way anymore. She wanted to know if her love's heart still yearned for her, perhaps even shattered without her. She needed to speak to Y/n, and she was going to do that, now. Pulling her away without another word, Daphne guides Y/n and herself somewhere more private, away from nosy ears and eyes.

Once secure, she turns, going in for the kill. "Do you love me?" She said straight forwardly. "Do you even want me? Or even need me, like I need you?" Daphne stared right at Y/n, never tearing her gaze away from her or spilling for air.

"Am I your air as you are mine? Can you sleep without me polluting your dreams, because I cannot. You are my air, but am I yours?" Her chest batted, heaving to her uneven breaths.

"Well, tell me. Do you love me?"

The shit eating grin, curving Y/n's lips confused Daphne. "This is why you avoid me? You feel as if I do not love you? Does this have anything relating to the men of the Ton calling for me, dancing, and even socializing with me?" Y/n steps closer to her, her smile so teasing it made Daphne's heart clench so giddily, and stomach twist. She was beginning to feel, rather foolish.

"My darling, are you jealous of the men of the Ton?" Y/n caressed her cheek, causing her to draw closer.

"Perhaps a little." She confessed, making her love chuckle.

"Come here, you bimbo." Y/n drew her into her arms, swaying them both, soothing her back. "Let us stroll, I do wish for a break from the Lords and their blistering egos." Daphne chuckled, taking her darlings arm.

It took a lot of alone time together, kisses, and even gifts.

It also meant a visit to the country side for a long while, with her family of course, but mainly you and her, mending the misunderstanding.

In this she learns to trust her love, to build and understand the purpose of talking, instead of avoiding and withdrawing.

A lot of reassuring glances, touches that cannot be read more than something friendly, seeking each other at balls, and spending time together when you are both back in society.

She just wants to be 100% sure in her love, so it does take a lot of time, even after talking about it and mending a few things, to truly reassure her.

:V.Bridgerton:

You and Violet go way back, as in before the marriage mart, and the search for husbands.

Your heart will always be devoted to her, and her alone, but society is cruel, so when it is time for you to marry it makes things a lot more complicated for both you and Violet. Marrying into high dynasties, but yearning for the other.

Violet has buried her jealous glares, heated anger, and built up sadness for more than ten years.

You were both respected ladies of the Ton with children and many eyes on you. But that never stopped the hidden glances, calling hours, and nights spent with each other.

She just wished she could have you all the time and have you like your husband has you, which is why in my perspective she struggles with jealousy.

But she would never voice it of course, because this is how it is supposed to be: A lavender marriage, affairs behind their husbands backs, silent yearning, and performing their duties as ladies of their houses.

The only thing that reassures her of your love is the fact that you name one of your children after her, but this comes about when she is feeling the most insecure, and heartbroken.

"You are expecting!" Agatha squeals, pulling Y/n into a bone crushing embrace, rendering her breathless.

"This is exciting news, indeed. Isn't that right, Violet?" Said Agatha searching for the other woman. Violet blinks, her eyes becoming glassy with her throat running dry. She nods, breaking her trance. "Exciting, indeed." She chokes, sipping her tea, fighting back tears.

She was losing Y/n, sealing both their fates with her pregnancy, something she thought would be a lot easier to digest. She smiles weakly before excusing herself for the chamber pot.

Y/n knew better. She knew that the news would be hard for Violet to hear and even understand. So after the ladies visit, during the night Y/n waited for Violet at their usual spot in the gardens.

Violet was late of course, making Y/n think that she would not show up, but she did and the look on her face said it all. Pulling her into her arms, Y/n reassured her of their love, trying to convince her that it would not change how her heart beats for her.

"Why did you not tell me earlier? Why not inform me alone?" Violet questioned, sitting with her, staring out at the stars.

"I wanted to keep it a secret, until I was sure. And I also want you and Agatha to hear together, she is also my friend, Vi. It is news to be shared with my most favored girls." Y/n explained, holding her hand and resting her head on her love's shoulder.

"Lord Bridger, marries you, sleeps with you, and finally impregnates you. How do you think I am to feel about the news?" Her tone was torn, sounding like shattered glass.

Using her fingers to guide her attention back to herself, Y/n pecks a quick but loving kiss to her lips. "I did not expect you to be happy, but I do hope that you be with me during this journey. Because if there is anyone I want most by my side during my pregnancy, it's you, my love."

She still envied your husband, even after his death when it left you a shattered widow with four children.

You mourned him, as she did Edmund, making her think that you did not just care for him, but loved him.

You named your only daughter after her, as a declaration of your love, which served as a reassurance.

For Violet it is a long process of reassurance, healing her insecurities, and finally talking through it, after so long of harboring her feelings.

Violet is just very sensitive and perhaps insecure, after all, loving some of the fairer sex is challenging in your society.

[darkestspring]

When possible, I’d love to see a continuation of your yandere conquerors where third wife reader eventually falls pregnant…I’d bet that they’d be obsessively protective.

It was only a few months after you married the three targaryens on dragonstone, unaware of your father's rage back in winterfell over his beloved daughter marrying, your mother wasn't much better but aegon, rhaenys, and visenya tried to not let you stress out too much.

aegon knew before you did, he could tell even the small changes in you, that's why when the maester gave the news, he acted like he was surprised as to not raise suspicions in you. Rhaenys and Visenya had both beamed at you, hands pressed against your not yet swollen belly.

"You must eat, dearest." Visenya pushed the plate closer to you as you pushed it away from you, shaking your head as you pursed your lips.

"No! Aegon said he'd eat with us, I don't want him to be sad that we started without him." You frowned at the eldest of your wives, turning to look at Rhaenys who paused bringing a bite of food to her lips.

"Haaah..." Rhaenys sighed, "Very well, just a moment more." She gave in very easily, leaving Visenya to glare at her.

"No! Not a moment more, dearest, you must eat. You are carrying a child, you must eat, not just for yourself." She fretted over you, moving closer and you all looked up as Aegon entered.

"Aegon! You're here, finally!" You beamed, relieved to see him. He'd been busy with affairs all day (which, unbeknownst to you, was actually him trying to smooth things over with your father.)

Aegon hummed softly, striding towards you and leaning down to kiss you. "Were you waiting for me? What a sweet thing." He cooed at you softly, pulling back with a pleased look in his eyes.

He eyed the already eating Rhaenys and the scowling Visenya with an amused look.

"Finally." Visenya scoffed, turning to you. "Dearest, Aegon in now here, so you must eat."

You huffed, pouting as you stomach finally grumbled. "Yes, yes, I'll eat now. You should eat too, Aegon."

Aegon took his usual spot next to you, his hand resting on your thigh. "i'll eat later, you just eat now, you need food, you're eating for a baby too."

Would it be considered ungentlemanly of him to admit that the knowledge that you carried his baby inside of you sent pleasant shivers down his spine. You were his, lovely little you.

"Dearest." Visenya called out on the other side of you and you paused in your eating to look up at her, blinking.

Visenya leaned down and kissed you, her hands cupping your face.

You pulled back with red cheeks and rhaenys protested.

"That's not fair! I'm the favorite, so I should get more kisses, right dearest?"

Both aegon and visenya scoffed as you stammered out a reply.

[thecameronchronicles]

Unexpected

TW: mentions of pregnancy. Heavy angst. Language. Minor mention of gore.

SUMMARY: Trevor and you just learned you are going to have a baby! It would be good news if there wasn't a secret he was keeping from you...

*REQUESTED*

Anonymous Asked:

Hiii! Could you do a hellraiser trevor one shot where he gets her pregnant and realizes he's in too deep and her and his baby are going to die if he doesn't do something about it

Unexpected

It was as clear as day. Two pink lines from the third test you've taken this morning. The others only confirm that in which you already suspected.

You're pregnant.

Tears fill behind your eyes as you are terrified of what this means. Although you know there is an unspoken commitment between you and Trevor, his expression confirms that happiness isn't his first emotion, even if his own eyes are glossy.

"I'm -" You're about to apologize when he rushes to his keys set in the bowl beside the door and put to his car.

"Trevor!"

"I-I have to take care of something!"

"RIGHT NOW?" You call to him as he quickly shuffles on a pair of shoes and pulls the handle to leave.

"I'm sorry. I...I'm sorry." He takes the words from your mouth as you settle into your heartbreak in the midst of the living room. Only, you aren't left alone. Understanding there is a life within you, you steady your emotions the best you can given your accelerated hormones, and place your hand on your stomach.

"Hey in there. I promise everything is going to be okay." You rub softly, afraid even the softest of movements will somehow affect the baby. It causes you to make an appointment, which is what you do instead of dwelling on the abandonment.

Trevor accelerated through town, hitting the steering wheel with tears threatening to blur his view, before finally coming to the decrepit house on the edge. It was once beautiful and now a fortress fortified for what was to come. The things he tried to protect you from...

"Voight!" He calls, rushing through each gothic-themed room in the continuation of a seemingly useless name.

"Vo-"

"What is it?" Voight, a man struggling to breathe with the contraption punishing him for his greed, holds himself up from around the corner.

"I want out."

"Out? There is no "out"."

"Well make one! I can't be a part of this-"

"We made a deal-"

"I can't -I...I won't do it."

"You stopped having a choice when you got a taste of what you wanted and asked for more. Now you're going to help me..." He removed the cursed object that was once a cube, now more an arrowhead as he tenses. Knowing the capabilities and the torment, his skin dampens and his teeth clench.

"Please. I...I'm gonna have a kid. I can't..."

"You think pity will change things? You are so truly naive. Now do what you were hired to before I take you from the equation completely." He threatens Trevor as he is left in temporary silence.

A silence that leaves him pensive.

A silence that makes him understand the possibilities.

If his own mind wasn't desperate for some compromise, your text coming through prompted him to commit to it.

Y/N: I have an appointment at two. Not that you'll be there, just thought you should know.

"It's for you, baby. Shit-babies? It's for my family..."

A FEW HOURS LATER

"Voight?" Trevor leads the man from his rest as he follows him in conversation. Trevor plays the role of reinvigorated henchman, having kept you in the forefront of his mind. He wonders if you've eaten since you haven't been able to most of the last few days. He hopes you're resting but estimated you're probably pacing in between the thought of cursing him out and breaking up with him. Eventually, he uses the motivation of you and the unborn child to drag him from reservation and into effort.

"I was thinking what if I lured someone..." He begins to discuss a plot that piques Voight's interest. It's enough to distract him as he disguises the ruse of a get rich quick scheme and a quick job. An intriguing detail leaving suspicion on him.

"You want me to give you the device?"

"If the girl can come across it then it'll latch onto her. I'll have to get close to her. I'll be believable. Just like how I was to Y/N." The acid of his untruth burns and yet he commits.

"I'll conceal it. Get me that box from the Hennessy job." Trevor disappears before cursing at himself for his lacking wisdom to get Voight's trust.

And then comes another idea.

"The doors. Are they secure enough?"

"I made sure." Voight says as he begins to place the device away. Trevor is running out of time and he knows it.

"Last time I checked, the gear stuck. I couldn't get it-"

"You probably broke it-" He mutters, leaving the device unattended as he looks for the electrical box. Once hunched over it, Trevor carefully conceals the device in his sweatshirt and moves behind Voight.

He has to time this perfectly...

Carefully...

Without being detected...

"AHHHH! HELP ME!" Voight cries out as his hand becomes lodged between the gears. Bones and flesh crushed, he is dependent on Trevor's nonexistent mercy.

"What are you doing? I helped you!"

"I'm not risking my family." Taking out the device, he placed the opening of the end to Voight's flailing finger until it latches.

"What have you done?! After all I did for you!?"

"I tried to reason-" Voight reaches for Trevor, managing to grab a hold of his collar.

"They'll come for you. If not today-NO! NO! PLEASE! HIM! I'VE GIVEN YOU OFFERINGS-NOOOO!" Voight calls, his body contorted before he is dragged from sight. The snap of bone and tear from life is all that remains as Trevor steps quickly in the opposite direction from the nightmare taken from him. The sound of chain and the smell of iron linger and haunt him as he rushes into his car.

He takes a minute to try and erase what he saw. Just as the nausea begins to control him, he sees your bracelet hanging from his mirror. You replace and recycle his thoughts for what the future could hold. In an instant, the blood, gore, and deception shapeshift into something filled with hope and goodness.

A true light in the dark.

He rushes back through town and up through the hospital and to the OBGYN sector. Once inside, he finds you holding back tears in the waiting room.

"Trevor?" He's on his knees in front of you, hands desperately holding yours.

"I'm here, baby. Are you okay?"

"I was...anxious. I'm fine." You retract your hands, always used to being let down by him. Whether it is jobs that only last long enough to pay bills or being second choice to a bar when he's stressed, he knows now is the time to step up. He knows you need more and he wants to be that for you.

"I'm going to be better, baby. For you. For us." His hand lowers to your stomach.

"Y/N?" You get summoned, both you and Trevor on your feet. You follow behind a technician who leads you into a room stolen from most light. It reminds him of Voight's expensive dungeon. You misread this for anxiety and your shared worry drives your hand to join his.

"This is the baby..." It is more a collection of shapes than an identifiable form and yet it's yours. A join of you and Trevor. A life. A future. A revelation and a chance.

Trevor takes your hand and leads it to his mouth for a kiss.

"I promise baby, everything will be okay." You're foolishly in love with him and yet never once have seen such sincerity behind his eyes. You trust it, even if some secrets will be bound to remain just that, you clutch and hold that which you see possible.

No matter how unexpected.

MASTERLIST

[dark-and-kawaii]

The "How They Say 'I Love You'" thingy inspired this. How do those three react to being told "I love you"?

༺ 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒸𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒯𝑜 “𝐼 𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒴𝑜𝓊” ༻

Haarlep | Gortash | Raphael

Notes: This was so sweet, thank you for requesting it!!

How They Say ‘I Love You’ <-

Haarlep

You tell Haarlep the moment they are freed from Raphael. As soon as things settle down after the absolute you return to the house of hope to find the incubus lounging in the healing pool. They turn to look at you, their hand stretching out toward you as if asking for your help to pull them out.

Foolishly, you take hold of their hand and soon find yourself colliding into Haarlep’s body along with the warm water. They wrap their arms around you, and you do the same with them. Your lips interlock and as you pull away you stare into their lovely hellish eyes and find yourself blurting out, “I love you.”

Haarlep’s face drops, not knowing what to say, they’ve never been told such words of endearment. It’s silent far longer than you like, but eventually Haarlep pulls you against their chest. No words needed, they just keep you like this, hoping you don’t pull away.

Raphael

You knew you loved this Devil though you also knew you shouldn’t. You were a part of his plans, nothing more than a tool. Yet as time passed on you found yourself drawn to him in ways you never knew quite possible.

Raphael would come to you all hours of the night to check in on you, to see how you were holding up, it made you wonder if he became fond of you in his own twisted way. You slip up and tell him by mistake, he came to you as you were alone in the woods. You offered your hand to this Devil, a silent invitation to join you in a small dance.

He bowed and took your hand, playing into your little game. As you both glide across the terrain it’s over far too soon, and before he releases his hold you tell him, “i love you.” His eyes soften only to confirm your suspicions, his hold stays firm on your hand and suddenly he refuses to part ways with you.

Bonus, because I didn’t know which one to post;

You tell him before leaving his domain, his house of hope. You came to steal the hammer away but as you sneak around his house the more you come to find how he cherishes you in his own twisted way, his favorite client, his most precious contract. You find yourself unable to take what you came for and soon find yourself walking back from which you came.

Just as you’re about to leave he appears with Korilla at his side along with Yugir… His facial expression looks hurt, you betrayed him… and as he says, “You.” His voice filled with anger, you make haste and walk up to him, your trembling hands grasping his cheeks, “I love you.” as you pull him into a kiss filled with adoration. He’s still, but his lips slowly move with yours before he grabs your face to deepen the kiss.

Gortash

You say it to him after you find out about his past. Your heart aches and you wish to take away the pain he experienced prior to all this. His parents sold him as if he was a sack of potatoes, you’d never do such a thing. You lay in bed with him, his eyes closed and his breathing labored as you draw circles on his cheek, his stubble tickling your fingertips.

As his eyes slowly open to look at you, your eyes meet and you utter those three words he’s been secretly waiting for, “I love you” He grasps the back of your head and pulls you in for a kiss. His body shifts and you soon find yourself beneath him, his lips pressed against yours before slowly moving down to your neck, “And I you my love.”

Gortash makes you feel seen, loved, and cherished that night like no other has.

[persevereforahappyending]

He Hung Up (2)

Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Reader

Summary: “I took that phone call for you.” You turned to Sam, once again offended. So much for her warming up to you after that, now she suspected you of being a serial killer.

Warnings: Violence

Word Count: 4.2k+

Note: I tried doing a one shot, but I've never been good at those so here's a part 2. Third and final part is also planned.

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4

“Suspects!” Mindy shouted, causing all of you to look up at her as she stood before everyone as if she was on center stage.

Everyone gathered together on campus before their classes and before Sam had to go to work. Quinn, Anika, and Sam all sat on a bench together while Chad, you, Tara, and Ethan sat on the other bench.

Chad had a pen and notebook out ready to jot down notes as soon as Mindy started talking. Tara was leaning into your side with your arm wrapped around her shoulder. Ethan was sitting next to you looking up at Mindy like a clueless puppy.

You had started out listening to Mindy, but she kept mentioning sequels and requels and eventually you just tuned her out. You got into your head when she mentioned being in a franchise, you couldn’t help but think about all the potential ways Ghostface was totally going to kill you. You didn’t zone back in until she mentioned Tara and Sam being on the potential chopping block.

You didn’t want to die but there was no way in hell you were ever letting someone hurt Tara again. You’d seen her scars; she told you what happened. It had taken a while for her to get comfortable enough, but you woke up one night to her thrashing around in bed. When you got her to calm down, you just held her, and she told you all about Amber.

“Y/N,” Mindy said, clapping her hands together as she looked at you. Your eyes snapped to Mindy, thoroughly being pulled out of your worrying thoughts for Tara at the accusation you could be the killer.

“Hey!” you said, raising both your hands in offense. Tara smiled up at you, laying her head on your shoulder.

“Good! Never trust the love interest,” Sam said, nodding along with what Mindy said.

“I took that phone call for you.” You turned to Sam, once again offended. So much for her warming up to you after that, now she suspected you of being a serial killer.

“Oh please, it could have all been an act. Who would be stupid enough to antagonize Ghostface?” Sam raised a brow, waiting to hear what excuse you could possibly have.

“Me!” You leaned forward, jostling Tara enough to lift her head off your shoulder.

“Babe-” Tara started, leaning away from you just enough to look at you.

“I would certainly be stupid enough!” You continued, ignoring whatever Tara was about to say.

Everyone fell silent after that. Sam raised her eyebrows at you. You stared at her for a second before furrowing your brow, you glanced down at the ground, finally realizing what you just said. Tara patted your leg, giving it a comforting rub.

You sat there pouting, vaguely aware of Mindy going on and on about Quinn, Ethan, and her own girlfriend Anika being suspects as well. The others tried making an argument in their defense, none more than Ethan who tried deflecting suspicions on to the core four, specifically Sam.

You didn’t think any of the core four were the killers. It didn’t make sense. Despite all the stuff that was being said online about Sam there wasn’t a doubt in your mind that she was innocent. Tara fought with her sister all the time, but she adored her. Even the previous night while they were arguing Tara didn’t hesitate to jump in and defend her sister, ready to attack that girl who threw her drink on Sam.

When you and Tara first started hanging out anytime someone would question her about Sam or anytime, she’d see something negative online she’d get all angry and defensive. She would rant for several minutes about how those random ass people didn’t know what they were talking about. You would just sit and listen to her. It wasn’t your place to judge, you weren’t there, you didn’t see how everything went down. The only things you knew for sure was that everyone who was there agreed on what happened, Amber and Richie were psycho and Sam was a fucking hero.

Despite her not liking you, you had also gotten to know Sam since you started dating Tara. Sam didn’t share anything with you but based on the way Mindy and Chad admired her you knew she was cool. Then based on the way Tara would come over to your place for a break from her sister and just rant nonstop for over an hour, told you that though she was incredibly overprotective, she loved her sister more than anything, she loved all her friends, she just wanted them to be safe. After what happened to all of them you couldn’t blame her for being a tad overprotective.

“Should you really be telling us your suspects with us here?” you asked, interrupting whatever Mindy was still ranting about. Everyone fell silent, turning to look at you. “If you think one of us,” you pointed to yourself and Ethan then Quinn and Anika, “is the killer then why are you tell us you suspect us?”

Mindy didn’t say anything, opting to narrow her eyes at you. You leaned back against the bench, your arm still draped over Tara. You gave a small shrug, trying not to disturb Tara again. “I’m just sayin. If I’m the killer, then me knowing you suspect me would only help me.” You squinted your eyes, thinking to yourself to make sure that made sense. Sometimes you started speaking before your brain had time to process what you wanted to say.

“She’s got a point,” Chad said, nodding along and pointing his pen at you.

Everyone seemed to reluctantly nod, even Sam.

“I don’t think it’s Y/N,” Tara said. She lifted her head, leaning back, turning to give you a quick kiss. “She’d never hurt me.”

Sam scoffed. Tara threw a glare at her on your behalf. Sam quickly turned her scoff into a cough, clearing her throat.

“That’s what you thought about Amber,” Mindy pointed out. “And look how that turned out.”

Sam tilted her head glaring at Mindy. Chad looked up at his sister, his eyes wide as he shook his head. There was a lot you didn’t know but you knew what Mindy just said crossed one of their unspoken lines. Mindy at least had the audacity to look a little guilty when you flicked a glare at her.

Tara remained quiet. You felt her tense next to you the second Mindy had said the name Amber. You looked down at her concerned, you couldn’t help the hurt the flashed in your eyes when Tara just barely leaned away from you.

You couldn’t even blame Tara. You knew you’d never hurt her, that you’d do anything to keep her safe, but she couldn’t know that. Even after all you’d been through there was a part of her that would probably always doubt you because of what happened. You hated that. You hated that someone she trusted hurt her and betrayed her so bad she now had to question ever new relationship in her life, she had to worry if the next person she met would do the same thing.

You tried to hide the hurt, going back to listening to Mindy conclude her final suspects and franchise thoughts. Tara noticed though. You caught the same sadness in her eyes as she realized she had subconsciously leaned away from you. She slowly leaned back into you. You wanted to tighten your grip on her, comfort her in any way you could, but you didn’t, you weren’t sure if any sort of movement would cause her to pull away again.

When Mindy finally finished, everyone went their separate ways, leaving you, Tara, and Sam. You took a step back, suddenly finding the trees around you very interesting while Tara said goodbye to her sister.

“I’ll see you when I get home from work,” Sam said.

Tara nodded. “Yeah, we’ll all make our way over right after classes end,” Tara said, repeating the plan Sam had all made them agree to.

Sam flicked her gaze up to you for a second then back to Tara. “Be safe.” Sam pulled Tara into a hug who seemed reluctant at first but quickly reciprocated. When she pulled away, she looked at you one more time before finally running off to work.

“Soooo,” you drew out. Your hands were in your pockets, and you kept your eyes on the concrete. “What-”

“I’m sorry,” Tara cut you off.

You scrunched up your brow, lifting your head to look at her. “For what?”

“For how I reacted when Mindy mentioned,” it was Tara’s turn to suddenly find the concrete interesting. “You know who.”

“Don’t apologize for that.” Your eyes softened, taking a cautious step forward. “You can’t help how it makes you feel and your feelings on it are fully warranted.”

“I know. I just…” Tara took a deep breath, letting out a long exhale as she rubbed her temple. “I know you aren’t her.”

“Obviously, I mean I am one of a kind,” you joked, giving her a little smirk.

Your plan worked, Tara giggled, lightly pushing your shoulder. “Shut up.”

“So, what do you want to do for the day?” You finally got finish asking what you intended. “Since our professor’s untimely demise last night our class is cancelled today. Your sister is at work, your friends are all in class, and our next class isn’t until this afternoon.” You gave her a mischievous smile.

Tara returned the same smile. “Whatever will we do with this rare freedom?” she asked, taking your hand in her own as she began leading you down the stone path.

“Was thinking we could go back to my dorm.” You smiled innocently at her, “My roommate isn’t there.”

Tara didn’t say yes right away. She opened her mouth but then quickly closed it. She got that adorable crinkle in her brow when she thought hard about something. You were smiling at how cute she looked until you realized why she was giving it so much though then you frowned.

“Shit, I’m sorry, it was a stupid idea,” you quickly said. “I’m literally one of your guy’s suspects and even if you don’t fully believe I’m the killer, me asking you back to my dorm alone is a stupid idea.” You were mentally kicking yourself for thinking that was a good idea. “We can go to the library or the cafeteria or chill in the quad, I’ll be happy with whatever.” You smiled, then quickly frowned again. “Unless you don’t want to be alone with me. Which I can understand, I guess,” you pouted. “I’m not the killer but I get that you don’t know that and can’t know that for sure and-”

Tara grabbed the back of your head, pulling you into a kiss. Your previous rambling dying as you happily returned the kiss. You smiled into the kiss, it was simple, soft, and you could feel all of Tara’s love for you in it. It was your favorite type of kisses from her. When she finally pulled away you were left smiling at her like a lovestruck idiot even after months of dating.

“I would love to go back to your dorm,” Tara said softly. She was already pulling you in the direction of your dorm.

“Are you sure?” You asked again. You needed her to be sure, you wanted to make sure she was actually comfortable enough with being alone with you.

“Yes,” Tara said confidently. “I don’t think you’re the killer. I trust you.”

You smiled softly at Tara and pulled her in for another kiss. This girl who had been hurt and betrayed by her best friend, her girlfriend, the person she should have been able to trust the most, believed you weren’t going to hurt her. You couldn’t believe it. Sure, you weren’t the killer, but you couldn’t believe that Tara trusted you so much that she didn’t doubt you, that she knew you would never hurt her.

“Let’s go,” she whispered against your lips when you guys finally pulled away again.

You nodded and let her drag you to your dorm room. When you got there you happily unlocked it, tossing your keys on the kitchen counter. You weren’t necessarily rich, but your family was like Tara’s, your parents made decent enough money. Which is how you ended up in one of the nicer dorm rooms, with a small kitchen, living room, full bath, and two bedrooms. Your parents were great, not always around but they were okay, which is why they tried to compensate by making sure you were comfortable wherever you were.

“So, did you want to watch a movie or…” you trailed off, looking to Tara for suggestions.

“I didn’t really have a movie in mind,” she said.

Before you could ask what, she wanted to do she was marching up to you, pushing you so you fell down onto the couch. You were leaned back in a sitting position when she kneeled on the couch, straddling your lap. She wasted no time and gave you no room to say anything else before her lips were on yours again.

“Okay, this works for me too,” you whispered when you guys finally broke apart for a breath. She shook her head smiling at you before kissing you again. You ran your hands up her back, sliding them underneath her shirt. She lifted her arms, getting ready for you to slide her shirt off when your phone rang.

“Ignore it,” she said in between kisses.

She was kissing down your neck as you shifted, trying to disturb her placement on top of you as little as possible. She turned your head towards her, kissing you again, trying her best to distract you from whoever was calling you. When she trailed her kisses down your neck again you looked at your phone, furrowing your brow at the caller ID.

“What? Who is it?” Tara asked, sitting up straighter but refusing to remove herself from your lap. You turned the screen towards her. Her name was on the screen. She shot off your lap, putting as much distance as she could between herself and the phone. “Don’t answer it.” Her voice shaking, her previous confidence thrown out the window.

You cleared your throat before hitting the green button and bringing the phone up to your ear. “Hello, this is Y/N, how may I be of assistance,” you said in the best customer service voice you could muster up.

“Hello, Y/N,” the crackling of someone using a voice changer came through the phone. “You wanted my attention so bad last night I decided to give it to you.”

“That is so sweet, I do have a desperate need for attention.” You started to pace back and forth, making sure to keep your eyes on Tara, needing to know she was okay. “I’ll never ask for attention cause I don’t want to be inconvenient and come off as needy but oh do I so crave attention.”

“I’ve gathered. Based on your constant need of approval even when doing the simplest things, such as cooking dinner.”

You pouted. “Fuck you.”

“Do you think it has something to do with your parents never being there for sporting events or award shows?”

“Doctor Carter?” you asked. Tara tilted her head at your confused expression.

“No this isn’t your therapist,” Ghostface sighed. “Your abandonment issues and constant need to be validated that you’re good enough are just so textbook.”

“You’re being quite hurtful this morning. I had much more fun with our conversation last night.”

“Aww, I’m sorry.” You could hear Ghostface’s fake sympathy through the voice changer. “Let me make it up to you. Let’s play a game.”

“How about Monopoly?” You smiled brightly at the idea of getting to play your favorite game. You looked at your girlfriend who rolled her eyes despite the terror she was clearly feeling. You frowned, she never wanted to play Monopoly with you.

“Nobody likes Monopoly.” You could feel the annoyed deadpanned look in through the phone. “It’s to long, no one has time for that.”

“The only people who don’t like Monopoly are the ones who lose. Also,” you spun around on your heel. “You’re literally planning murders and dressing up like a serial killer and setting up what you refer to as a game, that usually takes months if not years to plan and then is executed over a couple days. Talk about excessive.

“I hate Monopoly,” he said, ignoring the rest of your statement. You took his silence on the matter to mean you were right and he had nothing to argue against it.

“Sounds like something a loser would say,” you continued to taunt Ghostface, regaining some of that confidence from the previous night. “Is that why you’re doing this?” you looked up in thought, as if you just had a revelation. “You decided to copy someone else’s game in the hopes you could finally win something?”

“Shut up!” Ghost face growled. You smirked; you knew you were getting to him. “This is my game! I am the mastermind here!”

“I’m pretty sure that was Billy Loomis,” you interrupted. “No, wait,” you paused thinking for a second. “Roman Bridger was technically the original mastermind behind it all, you all are just cheap knockoffs of his game.”

“They could never comprehend the level of complexity of my game!”

You snorted, not able to hold in your laugh. “Who the fuck do you think you are, Jill Roberts?” you asked through your laughter. “Who is my favorite Ghostface by the way.” You got lost in thought thinking about Jill. “Man, who doesn’t love a manipulative psychopath.” You shook your head, still thinking about her when you noticed Tara somehow glaring at you and giving you a concerned look. “What?” you shrugged.

“Listen here you bitch!” your attention snapped back to the phone; you had forgotten Ghostface was trying to threaten you. “Billy, Roman, Stu, whatever! None of them matter! They will all be forgotten when I’m through.”

“Oof,” you let out a sigh. “Someone clearly has daddy issues. Is that it? Daddy didn’t love you enough?”

“You wanted a brutal death, I promise you I will deliver,” Ghost face said, you could hear him taking calming breaths though they sounded crackly with the voice changer. “Now, back to our original scheduled program, what’s your favorite scary movie?”

You rolled your eyes, these guys always had the same script, couldn’t they each come up with something new and different? You had seen the Stab movies and you read all the articles about the real-life events, but they always played out the same. You just wanted someone to surprise you for once, shake things up a bit.

“Ready or Not,” you said without hesitation. Since he was so insistent you figured you might as well play along. You still would’ve rather played Monopoly, no one ever wanted to play Monopoly with you.

“Really?” he snorted.

“Okay judgy,” you held up your hand in offense. “First, it’s a great movie. Second, Samara Weaving in a wedding dress with a shotgun. What’s not to love?” You turned to Tara for support. She seemed reluctant but she shrugged, nodding in agreement with you.

“I see why Samantha hates you,” Ghostface changed the subject.

“Sam doesn’t hate me,” you tried defending. Looked at Tara who kind of scrunched up her face and shrugged her shoulders slightly. Your mouth fell open, you knew Sam didn’t necessarily like you, but you didn’t think she hated you.

“After all, you got her sister killed.” Your face fell, your eyes widened as you looked at Tara. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to kill you first. She can watch as I carve you up, ripping out your organs. Do you still want me to carve out your heart and deliver it to her?”

“I’ll kill you myself before you ever get close enough to hurt her,” your said through gritted teeth.

“One more question,” his voice was deadly calm. “Do you think you can make it to the door before my blade pierces your gut?”

A chill shot down your spine, you stopped breathing. You subconsciously reached for Tara, grabbing her hand, and running towards the door. You caught a shadow moving out of the corner of your eye, you yanked Tara, pulling her in front of you and pushing her towards the door, turning just in time to catch Ghostface’s hand as he tried to stab you.

You heard Tara scream. Your eyes darted toward her, cowering in the corner by the door. You had to focus on the cloaked figure in front of you trying to stab you in the heart though. “Go!” you shouted towards Tara, pushing against the hand that held the knife with as much strength as you could. “Go!”

Something slammed into Ghostface’s head, shattering on impact. Ghostface’s hand slipped, you used the distraction to push him off of you. His knife still managing to slice your bicep.

You stood looking down at Ghostface, seeing your blender shattered on the ground next to him. “My blender?” you turned to Tara.

“Let’s go!” she ignored your question, grabbing your hand to pull you to the door.

Ghostface kicked out his feet, tripping you. You caught yourself against the wall, pushing off just as Ghostface brought down his knife, impaling it in the wall where your head had just been.

He pulled on the knife a few times trying to unstick it from the wall. You grabbed the back of his head, slamming it against the wall before delivering a sift to his stomach.

You didn’t get the chance to beat him even more because Tara gripped your hand tight, throwing open the door and yanking you out. She practically dragged you down the steps, not releasing her grip on you even when you were outside.

Tara called Sam as you were ushered off to the hospital. You hated hospitals but Tara insisted, she wouldn’t stop fussing over the cut on your arm. You tried to tell her it was just a scratch, but the continuous bleeding made it hard to argue your defense.

You were sitting on one of the beds in the ER as a nurse finished stitching up the cut. Tara hadn’t left your side, holding onto your hand the entire ride to the hospital and through the entire process of the stitches. You kept giving her a reassuring smile, wanting her to relax slightly, you loved her, but you were starting to lose feeling in your fingers.

The nurse had just finished wrapping your stitches when Sam swung open the curtain. She didn’t say anything, in one motion she stepped forward, engulfing Tara in a hug who instantly returned it. You took the opportunity to flex your fingers of your now free hand, watching as the color slowly returned to them.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Sam questioned, pulling away from the hug to look over Tara, making sure there were no new injuries. “What were you doing there? Why did you go somewhere alone? Why weren’t you in class? I should have never left you. We should have never left our apartment.”

“Sam. Sam. Sam!” Tara tried getting her sister’s attention. After the third time Sam finally stopped rambling. “I’m okay. I’m okay,” she reassured her sister. “I’m sorry, we thought we’d be safe together.”

“Look how well that turned out.” Sam shot a glare at you.

You flinched at her stare. You didn’t usually get bothered by Sam’s jabs at you or her glares or her general dislike of you. This time was different though. This time she was right. It was all your fault. You antagonized Ghostface the night before, then you went off to be alone with her sister, where you once again antagonized Ghostface. Tara would have been safe if it wasn’t for you.

“Hey!” Tara snapped; she moved in front of you as if she was defending you from her own sister. “It’s not her fault. She saved me.”

Sam let out a frustrated sigh, running her hand through her hair. She clenched her jaw, flicking a look from Tara to glaring at you. You kept your head down, looking anywhere but at Sam. You tried making yourself as small as you could as you hid behind Tara.

“Let’s go home,” Tara said, leaving no room for argument.

Without looking, Tara reached back, interlocking her fingers with yours. She pulled you to your feet and led you past Sam. You smiled softly at how protective Tara got against Sam when it came to you. You were happy Sam didn’t try to stop Tara; you weren’t sure what you would do if you weren’t allowed to go back to their place with them. You didn’t want to be alone, and you certainly had no desire to leave Tara after the attack.

When you got back to their apartment Tara didn’t say hi to anyone else. Everyone was seated in the living room, ready to greet you guys but quickly fell silent as Tara brushed past them, dragging you to her room. You got comfortable in her bed, Tara instantly curling into you, resting her head on your chest.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“It’s not your fault,” you whispered back. “I’m not going anywhere.” You kissed the top of her head. “I promise.” She tightened her hold around you as you two quietly drifted off to sleep.

[secret-smut-sideblog]

Pulling Strings

Astarion x F! Tav

18+ consensual body control, intimacy aversion/exploration, sub/dom, total control, body caging, restraint, rough sex, p-in-v, vulnerability, crying after sex, aftercare, tenderness

Tav has caught on that her favorite vampire doesn't enjoy touching or being touched by others. But she has a suggestion to possibly help that piques his interest...

Masterlist

-

As Tav talked to the merchant she felt two cold finger taps on her wrist.

She smiled, turning her head to give him a nod, returning to bartering.

The signal that he wanted to initiate their scenario.

After the tiefling party, she had asked if he had actually wanted to bed her. She had her suspicions, and ever forward, had asked plainly.

He tried to dance around an answer, but she knew him too well by then. Eventually relenting, he had said that he had done it out of obligation. Explaining that he needed protection, and bedding her was a fast track to devotion. Or, at least, was supposed to be.

That conversation led into more, delving into his aversion to intimacy and touch itself. Tav was not upset, if anything she wanted to help.

"Well, do you want to be intimate with others?" She offered curiously on one of those late nights they stayed up talking.

"I don't know, maybe?" He scoffed, flicking his hand up in annoyance. "It's something I'm going to have to get over eventually, if I'm ever going to be a functioning member of polite society."

"Not necessarily," Tav mused, taking the wine bottle he offered to her. "There's lots of ways to get around things like that and still be around others."

Her eyes lit up in thought. "You could wear gloves, or even hire an escort to practice with."

He gave her a withering look. "Darling, though I was one in some respects, I'm not going to trust my comfort with a sex worker I don't even know."

He threw his hands up dramatically. "I would much rather have someone like you if there was to be any 'practice' to be had." His pointer and middle fingers curling at the word.

"That's not a bad idea, actually." Tav suggested, tilting her head slightly.

He looked at her, his own head tilting opposite hers. Mouth pursing up to the side in consideration.

"Go on..." He drawled.

"Well, I could be like a puppet. You steer me where you want me and I stay there." She mused, leaning back on her side. "I wouldn't move unless you moved me, something like that."

"Hmm." He lilted. Pausing, seeming about to say something. Then just offered another thoughtful "Hmm..."

"Sleep on it. You don't need to decide now, and I'm fine with whatever you need." Tav shrugged, taking another swig from the bottle.

"If you decide you want to try, just give me a tap." She demonstrated on her wrist, two fingers lightly tapping.

Three nights later, she was at the firepit. Her hands clasped behind her back, leaning over to inspect the soup Gale was excitedly explaining. Two little strikes against the inside of her wrist brought her eyes back up.

She gave him a warm smile and a near imperceptible nod, turning back to Gale to give him her undivided attention about the intricacies of beef broth.

That night, she asked at the entrance of his tent.

"Come in, sweet thing."

"Where do you want me?" She asked, stepping inside. Already leaving her limbs loose and comfortable.

"Here..." He waved his hand at the space next to his bedroll.

She sat down, legs crossed neatly beneath her. Hands resting palm down in her lap. Waiting for his direction.

He hovered across from her at first, uncertain.

"You're in control. I'm your marionette. Move me." She encouraged, turning her wrist face up on her knee. Letting her hand fall open, relaxed.

He looped his fingers around her wrist and lifted experimentally.

True to her word, she kept her arm limp enough for him to puppet. Steering it around in a circle.

This seemed to give him more confidence, pulling her wrist down to the floor of the tent.

She followed, laying her head down. He adjusted her legs into a slight curl on her side. Pulling her arm up into a natural resting position.

He reached behind her and grabbed a small pillow, lifting her head and sliding it beneath.

He came to lay down next to her on his back. A good distance still between them, but not so far as to feel cold.

"Good?" He whispered.

She nodded, settling into the form he had set for her.

He leaned up and blew out the candle.

"Goodnight, darling." He hushed, laying back down in the dark.

That first night, that had been it. Just her laying in the dark next to him. His impressed eyes appraising her the next morning when he found her in the same position he had left her in. Breathing softly in her sleep.

As the nights went on, and as they grew closer outside of this arrangement, he got more curious.

Bringing her closer to him, touching her. Experimenting with angles and positions.

He had explained after that first night that he didn't want her to be entirely still. 'Too much like a corpse...' He had shivered. He still wanted her to interact with him, just in small movements that he could lead.

If he led her hands to his chest, she could circle her fingers softly there. If he led to his ear, she could massage it gently.

And, if at any point he no longer wanted that touch or found it uncomfortable, he would simply lead her hand away.

If he felt he wanted to be done entirely for the night, he would tap her wrist again, and she would get up and go. No questions asked.

Those nights, oddly enough, were the ones she felt closest to him. That he felt safe enough with her to end touch that he had initiated without fear of retaliation.

It was endlessly exciting for her when he found a touch or position that he really enjoyed.

One of his favorites being her chest to his back, leaning into her in a seated position. One of her arms loosely wrapped around his waist, her legs bent at his sides. Her other hand scratching gently along his scalp.

He leaned into her like this, head tilted back, legs nestled between hers. Practically purring as her fingernails traced lines along his scalp.

His hands would rest on her thighs, sometimes still, sometimes trailing back and forth. Her hand around his waist stroking his side softly with her thumb.

He would even fall asleep in this position, head turning into her neck. Occasionally pulling her down to lay with him, but sometimes falling entirely asleep against her chest.

She never moved from anywhere he put her, unless he gave her the signal that he was done for the night.

It even started proving beneficial outside of their little experiment. In battle he would see a blow coming over her shoulder and pull her out of the trajectory. She moved like water with him, they could almost dance through skirmishes together.

Of course, blood drinking came with the territory. He would always ask before he imbibed, and she almost always said yes.

His favored position for that was her sat on his lap, facing him. Legs hooked around his hips, arms draped loosely over his shoulders.

He would slot into that cup, resting the side of his head on her shoulder while he drank. Her hands comfortable on her forearms, her head softly falling against his.

Last night, he had initiated something that had surprised her.

Sitting down across from her in her usual starting position, he had picked up her wrist and led it to his chest. Trailing her fingertips in a dragging motion down the opening of his camp shirt.

Her surprise must have shown on her face as he smiled almost sheepishly at her.

"I'm feeling indulgent tonight." He purred. Lifting her hand to cup his pec gently. "Seems like a good night for exploration."

She smiled, nodding in agreement. Giving his pec one cheeky squeeze.

He continued to lead her hands across his body, pulling her closer to get a better range of movement.

Her puppeted hands sliding up over his hips, across his ribcage, over the curve of his shoulders.

His eyes had grown dark, chest rising and falling a little more strained.

It didn't go beyond that, with him eventually settling her into another favored sleeping position. Her head on his chest, arm draped across his ribcage, one leg curled up on his hip. His hand kneading and circling little figure eights into her thigh.

This was one of her personal favorites. One of the positions where she would often find sleep first. She wondered if he initiated this one so often cause he could tell.

So when night fell, she naturally wondered where tonight would take her.

He had absolutely had one-off tries that he decided didn't work for him, never bringing her back to them again. But his direction of her had been gradually more sensual. Something that made heat settle in her pelvis.

When they settled in for the night, she was surprised when he hadn't started leading her at all. Just running his hands over her body.

This wasn't entirely new, he did have areas of her that he enjoyed touching for tactile reasons. Particularly along her waist, under her ribcage and her upper thighs. He had remarked just how soft her skin was there, and how he was very glad she wasn't ticklish.

But the touch he drug across her now was more insistent. Needful pulls of her hips, her ass. Cupping her breasts.

She didn't move without permission, but her head fell back slightly. Letting out a soft moan.

He pulled up on both of her hands, urging them to his ears. Groaning in the back of his throat when she traced and massaged into them.

His hands pulled her legs open, hooking one up around his hip as he slid forward. Angling in between them, one hand pulling her thigh for leverage as he slowly started to grind into her.

His body pushed her onto her back, fingers digging into her propped thigh. Hand leaving it, his leg sweeping it up and open against him.

He caught her mouth in a kiss, hips fluid against hers. A hardening length pressing down into her.

For the first time, she moved of her own accord. Hand leaving his ear to cup the back of his head.

She realized her transgression and was about to move back, but his hand laced over hers.

"Please," He breathed against her mouth. "Touch me more."

This was the ultimate test, giving her free reign again. Under the suffocating wave of lust, she was determined.

"Are you sure?" She whispered when she could get a breath in.

"Yes, I trust you." He murmured, moving down to her neck.

She used the touches she had learned he enjoyed, fingers trailing along his chest, cupping over the bone of his hip, dipping into the curve of the base of his spine.

He shivered all over when she would stroke these desired places. Eyes fluttering up into his lids.

When her fingers traced the v-line of his hips something snapped in him. Needing control again.

He took hold of her wrists roughly, his legs twisting into hers and encouraging her to flip onto her belly.

She went limp again and followed his unspoken command, chest against the floor of his tent.

Pinning her wrists against her lower back, he hiked her hips up high to meet him with a grunt. In one motion he pulled her dress up over her ass, bunching up at her waist. Pulling her underclothes down roughly to her knees.

She moaned into his pillow, clasping her hands together in unholy prayer.

He unhooked her fingers far enough to slip his own in, curling into her. The rustling of fabric behind her, then the feeling of his cock teasing against her entrance.

There was no more questions, no more clarification. Just his voice low and dangerous behind her.

"You will take me."

She nodded into his pillow, pushing her legs wider for him.

He pushed inside of her without mercy, her cunt stretching deliciously to accommodate him.

She mewled into his pillow, and he fisted her hair into a ponytail. Pulling her head up.

"You will sing for me."

His hips rolled into her in hard thrusts. Rocking her body forward with each strike. It was slow and animalistic. Savoring and vicious.

He pushed her legs back together with his own, her ass seated higher, her cunt tighter around him. He groaned, caging his body over hers, forcing her chest further into the bedroll.

This new angle stroked directly against her g-spot. She moaned out choppy cries with each thrust, pushing her ass up higher into him.

"Is that good, little songbird?" He smiled, biting along her shoulder blades.

"Yes," She shuddered. "Harder, please."

"Fuck," He hissed, losing his composure. Releasing her hand to grip both sides of her hips. Slamming into her ravenously.

Her eyes rolled back into her head, already starting to clench around him. Clasped hands white knuckling.

He could feel she was close, a wide smile crossing his face when he realized she was waiting for his permission.

Teasing her for a little longer, he stayed silent outside of panting with exertion. He wanted to watch her come more undone.

She was writhing in small movements under him, trying to hold back the wave that was cresting. Whimpering in her effort.

Begging was out of the question, this was his call. But she was getting to her breaking point.

As soon as it became unbearable, he spoke.

"Come. Now."

Her whole body shuddered, shoulders arching back into still clasped hands. Release ripping through her from deep in her core, forcing near agonizing pleasure in an arc up from her pelvis. Her voice was entirely out of her control, pleading whines pushing into indignant near shrieks from her throat.

Her cum coated him in a slick veil, pushing out onto his thighs. The sight of it sent him over, the clenching pulls of her cunt further demanding.

He laced his hand back into hers, gripping his fingers into her knuckles. Crying out as his body tremored. His hips sloppy, bracing his other hand on her lower back as he filled her to the brim. Her fingers pulsed reassuringly into his as he fell apart over her. His unrestrained sweet sounds making her heart sing.

He collapsed into her lower back, pushing her clasped hands above him. Pulling them apart to lace into both of his along her sides. Still nestled inside of her. Both of them laying flat on the bedroll now.

He panted hard against her, sending little waves of cool air along her side. He unhooked his fingers high enough to tap twice on her wrist. The signal that he wanted to stop their scenario.

"Do you want me to go?" She hushed, rubbing her thumb inside of his palm.

He shook his head against her lower back, not moving from their joining in the slightest.

She smiled, twisting gently underneath him. Bringing his slack body onto her.

"Come here to me." She purred, bringing his head down to her chest. Running her fingernails in arcs along his scalp, holding him around his waist.

He melted into her, body fully relaxing. Quiet tears falling onto her sternum. His arm holding her side strong against him. His grip almost fearful, as if he was anticipating someone trying to take her from him.

She only hummed softly, a slow tune she had heard in a passing tavern. Fingers leaving her love in lines through his hair.

His breath slowed, eyes fluttering shut, his long lashes tickling her chest. Body warmed and pliant, he fell under her spell. Blessedly asleep.

She smiled, continuing to stroke his curls. She would often stay awake just to hold him like this. It felt sacred, a rite that only she got to partake in. The guardian of his rest.

"Oh, my starlight..." She hushed, kissing the top of his head.

She felt his sleeping smile against her chest. The nightcall of insects her hymn, the high moon her witness. His body her holy duty.

Letting her head turn on his pillow, she allowed herself to fall with him.

~

[chimcess]

A Picture’s Worth || jjk (I)

Pairings: Jungkook x Reader Other Tags: Ex-Art Thief!Reader, Ex-Assassin!Reader, Ex-Gang member!Reader, Gang member!Jungkook, Assassin!Jungkook, Hitman!Jungkook, Thief!Jungkook Genre: Strangers to lovers, gang AU, mafia AU, Fluff, Angst, Smut     Word Count: 23.2k+ Summary: After pulling off the largest art heist of her career, Y/N has put that life behind her. However, after 4 years out of the business, she comes home to find a stranger in her house. Warnings: violence, blood, gang activity, mafia activity, mentions of death, actual death, crime, robberies, pickpocketing, graphic depictions of injuries, guns, knives, mentions of past torture, body branding (not too graphic), major character(s) injured, STRONG LANGUAGE, Gang tattoos, Abuse (not JK and Reader), JK is a bit of a himbo, but only with his friends, he’s actually quite scary, I’m not a gang member or anything so I could be wrong about that stuff, I tried my best, eventual smut, mutual pining, kissing (let me know if I missing anything) Author’s Note:Things were getting out of hand, so I made the executive decision to split this into two parts. This one is establishing plot so no smut (yet). Thanks so much for reading. She’s a big girl.

Listen to the Playlist || cross posted to ao3: here

Five years ago

There comes a point in a child’s life that they begin to ponder over what they will become. Some girls I knew dreamt of becoming lawyers, doctors, or astronauts. I remember there being a time when I had thought of more than the mountains I had lived in, possibly moving to California and starting my life over after I was finished with school. I had even played with the idea of owning a salon. I hoped that I would be pretty when I grew up with bright red hair just like Ariel. It was strange looking back on that time and how little had truly changed. 

While I had, in some ways, deviated from the life my family had wanted for me, I was still lurking in the shadows and biding my time. Instead of hiring me for hits, the players I worked for enjoyed the finer things in life. Patrons of the arts if you will. Staring up at the Rembrandt painting, it was not a wonder as to why.

Looking over my shoulder, I was relieved to see Hoseok in position. Locking eyes momentarily, I gave him a small, polite smile and returned to the painting in front of me. To the security cameras, we were simply two strangers who had a small moment in time. I knew that we were trying to use signals as much as we could without looking suspicious. A smile normally meant that I was confident I could pull this off. Hoseok’s returning nod was his way of saying he was happy with his own assessments.

The heist would take a few more weeks to plan out. Our buyer wanted 18 different art pieces from this museum, something that was doable with our team, as well as 38 pieces of jewelry. Taehyung and Jimin would be in charge of the operation. Walking away from the Rambrandt, I looked over other pieces with the same intensity to not raise suspicions. While the cameras here were not of great quality, they could still see us and that alone was enough to bother me. 

Stealing has always come naturally to me. Second nature. When I was young I pickpocketed, the artform far more refined now that I was much older, and my parents enjoyed how sneaky I could be when I wanted to be. We never stayed anywhere for too long, the last place I had seen them was Aspen six years ago, but my favorite years were London. The Underground was a perfect place to pickpocket. In a day I could swipe over 100 items and no one would be the wiser.

My tastes changed as I grew. There was a time when I hated the idea of being a criminal like my parents were. I disdain violence at the best of times, but there were very few ways of getting out unscathed. It was when I managed to steal jewels from a heavily secured store that I caught the eyes of The Saints. Hoseok was impressed by my attention to detail and offered me a way to get out of my family home. I was sixteen and impulsive. A little over ten years later I was still standing here, pickpocketing the wealthy and giving it to those just as fortunate. It had stopped bothering me years ago, the guilt, but there was always a piece of me that longed for those far away dreams of cutting hair. It almost made me laugh just thinking about it.

“It’s a beautiful painting, isn’t it?” A soft voice asked, suddenly beside me.

Turning, I was confronted with a familiar face. Yoongi hardly changed, his set lips and keen eyes unwavering. There was a long, jagged scar that ran down his forehead, over his eye, and down his cheek. He got the scar when he was still in the Irish Mob back in Boston. He was an earner with those boys and they gave him hell about leaving. Still, he had managed to walk away only to join a different side of organized crime.

“Yes, but not really to my taste,” I joked.

I had never been the biggest fan of abstract work. I liked it a great deal more than landscapes, it was at least interesting to look at, but the lack of effort had bothered me. It would never take off anyway. No one liked over priced paint splatters. Yoongi hummed.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it.”

Taking the cue, I stood as he walked off and began counting back from 500 in my head. Everyone would be heading back to the command now. Everything had been squared away for now. Taking one more passing glance at the Rembrandt, I sighed. Hopefully, when this is all done, I could walk away.

With my head held high, I slowly drifted toward the exit. Taking the time to look over art was another great way to cover my tracks. In order to stay a nobody, I had to be a nobody, and only a nobody would stop to look at a still-life of a bowl of fruit. I never did understand why these things were popular. Then, finally, after five more minutes of “ooo”ing an “ahh”ing at pieces I’ve seen every week for the last month, I was out of the door.

Three years ago

Blinking, I stood motionless as I stared at the cracks in the little apartment’s ceilings. It had been a difficult find, something so cheap in San Diego was a steal even if it was only 300 square feet. Smiling, I threw my duffel bag of belongings onto the futon I had brought earlier that day. Finally, things were going to start looking up.

I had flown in from Kansas the week prior and had made the most of cheap motel rooms until I scored this place. I had always loved California and finally I had made it home. Looking around, I found I was not as upset by the lack of space or functioning stove. In fact, it had been the lightest I had felt in a very long time. Only second to when I graduated from Aveda last fall.

Deciding to pick up what little boxes I had with me, I broke them down and tore them into strips that were easily thrown away. I was lucky the place had come with a small, countertop fridge and microwave. The only sink was in the bathroom, a room that was floor-to-ceiling covered in tile with a toilet, small sink, and a shower head. I would have to wear flip flops just in case. The landlord had recommended using a bucket since the hot water only lasted for about 10 minutes.

I did not have much. I had gotten into the habit of packing light and living even lighter, but I was determined to try this differently. I’ve gotten what I have always wanted and I was going to let anyone, or anything, take it away from me. Going to my duffel bag, I began packing out my folded clothes and organizing them into different piles before putting them away. I had bought a tall, skinny wardrobe at the same GoodWill I had gotten the futon from. 

Calling out to my phone, I asked Siri to play some music and got to work. I hated silence. Using the small drawers on the left side, I stuffed my underwear and pajamas on that side of the wardrobe. The right side was meant to hang nice things on, but I did not own nice things anymore. Instead hung were two pairs of jeans, a few dresses, and some shirts. I only owned black now. It was the dress code for every salon I had ever worked at- including the newest one. My shoes went on the shelves above the drawers and I made a mental note to buy a better pair of sneakers. I wanted to get outside more often.

Putting away the rest of my things was just as quick. My makeup was stored away on the desk that was attached to the wall beside the fridge. It was meant to be a dining area, but I doubted I would ever have company over to make use of it. My few skincare products were safely stored away in the bathroom mirror, and my kit was under my bed for safe keeping. I was suddenly acutely aware of just how sad everything truly was.

“Well,” I mumbled to myself. “Hopefully I can get enough clientele to get out of this shithole.”

At least, I thought to myself, at least I was free. 

With that in mind, I grabbed my keys and headed out into the city. It had been hours since I last stopped for anything and I would have no luck here for the night. Slipping into the hallway, I realized that I was happy. For the first time in a while I felt unadulterated. Things were going to be fine.

Two years ago

Clutching the pizza box with one hand and balancing it on my hip, I cradle my phone with my shoulder as I open the door to my building.

“The earliest I’ll be available is Thursday,” I said, my voice sickeningly sweet.

The customer, Jules, cheerfully asked if I had any availability on Sunday instead. Rolling my eyes, I reminded her that the salon was closed on both Sunday and Monday. This would be the third time I had to repeat myself.

“What about Saturday?” She asked, still as clueless as she had been since I had picked up.

“I’m free from 2pm until 3pm, but if you want a haircut and balayage I will need longer than an hour.”

“How long do you need?” Finally, I heard a hint of frustration slipping through her otherwise cheery voice.

“If you want the full layered balayage it can take up to three hours for hair as long as yours is. It can be shorter if you just want a partial- between 45 minutes to an hour and a half.”

Huffing up the stairs, I struggled to open the door to my floor and used my foot to keep it open while I awkwardly hobbled. Rolling my eyes, I wanted to pull my hair out. This would be the fourth time now.

“I can put you in Thursday morning from 8am until noon. I can also do Friday from 5pm until 8pm. I’m not available again until the following Wednesday.”

Jules hummed, unable to stay silent I found. We had been on the phone for twenty five minutes and I was beginning to get a migraine. She was sweet, and I appreciated her never ending patience, but I was not blessed with the same superpower. I had never been known for my temperament or politeness. I only had patience when money was involved. Shoving my door open with my shoulder, I willed those thoughts away. That was the last thing I needed to think about right now.

Jules was going to make me go rob a fucking bank at this rate. Banks weren’t even my thing. That brought a smile to my face and I put the pizza down on the single counter I had in the kitchen. 

“I guess Thursday will work then. I was just hoping to get it done before my birthday.”

Pausing, I sighed heavily. Wonderful. She was a guilt tripper. Little shit.

“What day is your birthday?” I asked.

“Oh! It’s Tuesday. My girls and I are going to the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate.”

And despite my better judgment, I opened my calendar and began looking at my schedule on Tuesday. Knowing I had taken the bait hook, line, and sinker, I just went right out with it. 

“We can try something if you’re open to it.”

“Sure, what’s up?” Jules asked, voice perking up.

“I can give you a partial balayage Tuesday and then you can come back Thursday to finish the rest if you want to after seeing the results.”

Jules squealed and began talking very quickly, her excitement palpable. I cringed away from the speaker of my phone.

“That would be Ah-mazing! What time on Tuesday could you see me?”

“I had a cancellation first thing in the morning. I’m free from 8am until 9:45. We’ll get as much as we can during that time.”

“Oh! I can definitely make that. Can we do the haircut on Tuesday instead of Thursday?”

Biting my tongue, I had to stop the smart ass comment I wanted to make from coming out. She was obviously very young or had little experience going to a salon. Still, it’s common sense that we would cut first. I’m not wasting products like that.

“That’s what I was thinking, too,” I settled on.

“Thanks so much, Y/N! See you Tuesday!”

“See you then, Jules. Before you go, can I get some information from you so I can put you down properly?”

After getting her full name, phone number, and email address, I let her go and logged into the salon’s appointment system to add her in. Our receptionist had quit two months ago and we were having a hard time finding a replacement. I tried to tell Tony he needed to raise the pay but he was not budging. Right now we were all stuck keeping track of everything ourselves. 

The pizza was not very hot anymore but was warm enough to not be too bothersome. Happy to have some extra money coming in, I went to the fridge and grabbed a soda from it. I bought a small cart to put my microwave on. The mini fridge just happened to fit perfectly below it. The small Keurig I bought myself for Black Friday was right beside the microwave. A snug fit but it worked. Taking a bite of the pizza, I leaned against the counter and groaned.

I was so happy to be home.

Home. It was a word I was still hesitant to say. It was hard to believe things were permanent even after all this time. Some nights I stared up at the ceiling and waited for a knock on my door. Even if Hoseok promised emergencies only it was difficult to know what the guys would consider an emergency. That world was so far removed from this new reality of mine that I feared I was losing my edge. Would I even be able to help them anymore? 

With doubt and a recurring nightmare, I fell asleep and dreamt of casinos and Rembrandt.

One year later

Sweeping up the floor, I glanced around the room to find myself alone. 

“Great,” I huffed. “I’m going to have to talk to Tony about this bullshit.”

It had been the third time the new hire, Sasha, had left without helping with cleanup. First he snuck out of the back when he was helping Tiesha, and the last two times had been with me. While we tried to keep the boss out of the personal issues we had at the shop, I was not about to let some 19-year-old walk around like he’s above it all. Angrily, I kept sweeping and hoped that the bastard got stuck in the worst traffic getting back on the I-5. 

Walking over to Andrea’s station, I rolled my eyes. She always forgot to put her combs in the sterilizing solution. Making quick work of that, I went around checking everyone’s stations to be sure it was all in order. Even Sasha’s. His desk was immaculately cleaned and I gritted my teeth harder. Seems like he’s one of those people. Feeling petty, I skipped sweeping under his vanity and kept going. Not like it made much of a difference anyway. Maybe I should steal his wallet tomorrow and help him look for it.

Fucking idiot.

No, I scolded myself. I am not that person anymore. I would definitely not go back to that lifestyle for Alexander Ivanov. Reminding myself that he was just a spoiled little brat, I continued sweeping hoping it would calm me down long enough to clear my head. If I let any of those ideas foster that would be bad. I’d have every valuable item that boy owned by lunch.

Suddenly the front desk phone began to ring and I chose to ignore it. It was five minutes after closing time and I did not feel like dealing with anyone else today. Sasha had pissed me off enough. I did not want some snotty customer adding to it. The ringing stopped and I was satisfied that they simply left a voicemail. 

Turning to go back to the staff room to gather the Swiffer, I was stopped in my tracks by the phone. A part of me wanted to answer it now. It had to be the same person. Still, I was off the clock and that was not a part of my job description. Destiny would handle it in the morning. The ringing stopped. I started walking. It started up again.

Peeved but resigned, I walked to the front desk and checked the number flashing on the screen. It was from out of state. Figures. Usually clients who wanted to come in on vacation called without realizing the time zone difference. Forcing a smile to my face, I picked up.

“Mane Street, this is Y/N speaking. How can I help you?”

“Ten minutes.” The line died.

I knew that voice from anywhere. Shaking, I placed the phone back on its modem and took a second to gather myself. Whatever the emergency was, I only had ten minutes to finish cleaning and get outside. Knowing Hoseok, he would be waiting for me near my car. Better yet, he’d already be in the passenger seat.

Scrambling, I began to mop the floors and Windex the mirrors. I refused to let this unexpected visit stop me from performing my job. I was happy Sasha had left. I probably looked like I’d seen a ghost. You have definitely heard one, my subconscious screamed.

I was locked up eight minutes later. I had been keeping count in my head just as I always had before. It was unsettling just how quickly I had transformed back into the person I had once been. Who was I fooling? I’ve been covering her up with scissors, a shitty studio apartment, and take out. That did not change the overseas accounts, fake names, and stolen jewelry I’ve kept. That doesn’t change the stolen art hanging on my walls.

Rounding the back of the store, I was not surprised to see my vehicle was the only one still there. Squinting, I could see the silhouette of a person’s head in the passenger side. The street light just in front of the pickup was facing the front, their side profile obscured by the light, but I would recognize Hoseok anywhere. He was hard but soft, jagged but gentle, and most importantly, his face was oval with a pointed chin. Anxiety bubbling in my stomach, I put on a brave face and marched forward. I would be right on time.

Hoseok did not say a word as I slid into the driver’s seat or when I closed the door. Not waiting for him to make a demand, I started the engine and turned on the AC. It was stuffy. Hoseok continued to look straight while I buckled my seatbelt and put the truck in reverse.

“Don’t go home,” He finally said.

Dread filled my stomach but I did as he said. Instead of turning left, I went right and headed for the little diner I enjoyed getting a late dinner at. It was the best place for steak and eggs. I was not sure if Hoseok would be hungry but I did not care. We never really thought about those things before.

“I’m glad to see you’re doing what you like,” He spoke again, his voice still gentle. “You look very nice, too. Like the new hair.”

I was always unnerved by this side of Hoseok. He was typically a very loud, energetic, and passionate man. Soft spoken and Hoseok had never gone together. Then again, it had been almost five years since I had seen him. A lot could change within that time. That, or whatever he was going to tell me would require softness. I hoped it was just a personality change from getting older. 

“Yeah,” I said. “I’m glad to see you’re healthy.”

Finally, he cracked a smile. “Hadn’t realized you thought about me at all.”

I scoffed, “Of course I think about you. I think about all of you very often.”

This seemed to throw him for a loop. It was weird to speak so openly about my feelings. We had always gone about life with coldness. Being sharp and intense was the only way to survive out there. If anyone saw you as weak or vulnerable then you were finished. That was why Yoongi usually acted as a middle man. He was the hardest, coldest, most impenetrable wall there ever was. Just looking into his eyes you could see that. Shivering, I recalled the time he killed a man with a set of chopsticks while we were in Korea. 

“We think about you, too,” Hoseok said, sounding far away.

Turning into the diner’s parking lot, I turned off the engine and got out. Hoseok followed closely behind me and I asked him if he wanted anything.

“I hear the steak and eggs are nice,” He commented, eyes downcasted.

“Is Taehyung keeping tabs on me?” I sneered, anxiety turning into anger.

Taehyung was the tech guy when he wasn’t stealing jewels. He was also a royal pain in the ass who never knew when to cool it. He had been the most upset when he heard that I was leaving the crew and I would not put it past him. Taehyung was just that kind of guy. The gesture was kind, I was certain of that, and came from a place of love. Still, I had asked to be left alone. It seemed like no one really accepted that.

“I tried to stop it but it’s impossible to keep track of everything he does,” Hoseok admitted. “After a while we just accepted the fact that he wouldn’t give it up. He is trying to check in less and less, though. He’s just worried someone will come around and we won’t know about it.”

“And that’s how you knew where I worked?”

Holding the door open, Hoseok thanked me before going inside. Doris smiled at me when I walked inside. She was an elderly woman who liked to help me with my Sudoku puzzles on Sunday mornings. Eyeing Hoseok curiously, I waved at her before finding an open booth. I normally sat at the bar but I did not want prying eyes. Doris would not go away if we sat there and Hoseok was obviously wanting privacy.

“Hey sugar,” Dixie, a waitress from Alabama, greeted us.

She put down two menus and asked us what we wanted to drink. Hoseok ordered a coffee while I got a glass of chocolate milk. The man looked me up and down, amusement coloring every one of his features. I waved him off and looked at the menu. If he ordered steak and eggs I would order something else. Hoseok was a big fan of sharing food even if we both had our own portions.

Hoseok, like many of the guys from the crew, was South Korean. He was born in Gwangju, a city in the southern part of the country, and moved to the US with his friend Namjoon during university. Namjoon went on to become a campaign manager in New York City while Hoseok became an associate of the Gambino family after killing a few guys. Over time the two went their separate ways, but Hoseok always spoke fondly of him. Last he heard, Namjoon had moved to Seoul and was working at the Blue House.

“You all figured out what you want?” Dixie asked, reappearing with our drinks.

Hoseok ordered the steak and eggs while I got their “Rising Roadhouse'' meal. It came with waffles and I knew that would make Hoseok happy. When we were alone again, Hoseok sighed.

“It’s Jimin,” He said.

Bracing myself, I leaned in closer so we could speak quietly. The diner was almost empty at this time of night and I was nervous. This was shit no one needed to hear about. Hoseok got closer to me.

“What’s going on?” I demanded, whispering harshly.

“He’s gotten into some shit with Winter Hill again. Yoongi bailed him out but things are going to shit. They want us to get some things for them to make up for it. We weren’t sure where to go, and Georgie was very specific.”

I breathed through my nose. Jimin was my closest friend during my time with the crew. We thought the most alike, worked the best, and trusted one another. However, we were also hot heads. I had worked on myself tremendously over the years, but Jimin had the worst kind of anger. Talking out the mouth. And to talk to somebody in Winter Hill the way I assumed he had? Jimin was asking to lose a finger. That’s if he hadn’t already. Looking at Hoseok, he seemed to know what question I had on my mind.

“Yoongi made him cut the first joint off. I told him to write an apology letter in blood. I also sent the boss the piece in a medicine jar. Just to be sure.”

Grimacing, I rubbed my forehead. I had almost forgotten the way they do things in the mafia. The letter in blood, however, seemed more of a New York thing. I’d have to get clarification on that later. Leaning back in my chair, I shook my head.

“Unbelievable,” I mumbled absentmindedly.

On one hand, I was very angry that either of them would humiliate Jimin like that. On the other hand, I knew that the boy had put them in a very, very fucked up spot. Either they make amends and punish him or they lose the entire East Coast. If Boston doesn’t want anything to do with them, New York will become weary as well. Even if Hoseok was a Red Pull at one time, he is still an outsider. He was still just an associate. 

“What is he looking for?” I finally asked, leaning back in.

“Jewelry. Said they wanted something ‘your old girl’ would like. Said you’d know what to do.”

I smirked. Georgie Boy had always been impressed with my taste. Still, I was not sure about getting involved with all of this. In order to do so would mean helping them stake out a place and I was not going there. I had made my peace. Still, I could not help the part of me that felt excited. I squashed it like a bug.

“I’m not helping you with anything,” I said.

“I’m not asking you to,” He replied. “Just tell us if you’ve seen anything noteworthy lately.”

Dixie came back with our food and I used it as a distraction. I needed time to think. Hoseok and I ate off of one another and I continued to sit and ponder over the new things I had seen at the museum in town. I had gone many times, I had always tried to desensitize myself to the feeling I got when I walked in, but each time I looked around. I knew where every single camera was, I knew how to get into the back, and I was familiar enough with the security system to work around it. Every detail of a heist had already formed in my head that I refused to act on. Just as I knew every museum all the way up to Orange County. There were quite a few jewelers that had caught my eye as well. Still, I knew my answer after a few minutes of silence.

“His daughter’s birthday is soon, isn’t it?” I clarified, making sure my memory serves me well.

“In a few weeks,” Hoseok nodded.

“There’s a pair of earrings at Beverly Hills Jewelers,” I started. “They’re 2 carat, T.W, diamonds. They’re heart shaped. Halo. They’re beautiful.”

“Price?”

“I believe $15,000. They have some nice tennis chains as well that could match.”

He hummed, “I don’t know if it’ll be enough.”

I nodded, “I’ll include a personalized letter as well as a ring from my own collection if that helps.”

Hoseok smiled brightly at me. I knew that had pleased him. Georgie Boy would also be happy. His little girl gets some nice gifts and he gets to wave his dick around like the narcissist is is. In my head, I was already trying to remember the layout of the store. I had only gone inside twice when I took a trip to Beverly Hills. I was having a rough day and I wanted to get back in my element for a while. Scoping out places was always a relaxing thing for me to do. I ended up buying a necklace while I was there so they wouldn’t become suspicious of me. Still, I would have to see it again and show the guys what I was talking about so they could do the hit. That place was heavily secured.

“Thanks, Y/N,” Hoseok said, pushing the last piece of steak closer to me.

Grinning at him I replied, “It was an emergency.”

And then I popped the steak in my mouth and savored the taste. Just for now I would have a little bit of chaos. It would just be Hoseok and I, so that made the guilt lessen. At least this wasn’t something I would have to actually perform. Still, I thought to myself, I was incredibly bored without the little bit of chaos I had before.

Present

Laughing, I cut another piece of brown hair off. Jules stared at me, her hands covering her mouth, while she shook. She was a regular now, always got the same treatment, but when she called about her appointment last week she asked for a bob. Well, giving it to her, it was difficult to imagine just how upset she would become.

Her mother had recently been diagnosed with cancer and she wanted to show her that she was standing with her. The chemo had made chunks fall out and her mother decided to buzz her head. I had been the person to do that and give her a pamphlet of local stores she could go to and buy nice wigs. Jules, however, had called me late and said she wanted to donate her own hair for her mom. Tony had recently registered the salon with Locks of Love and trained us all in it. Sasha had been the most excited about the prospect. His mother had died from cancer when he was in highschool. 

Jules’s hair was thick, dark brown, and wavy. Everything about it was perfect and she was a dream to work with. She always took things in stride and tipped well. Today, I was worried if she would ever come back. 

Her hair was long enough that we could keep it at her shoulders. She had always kept it past her butt, just barely grazing her upper thighs, and took pride in it. I was still planning to give her plenty of highlights and a blowout- on the house. I had nothing but love for the girl and I knew how difficult this would be for her. Glancing at Tiesha, she smiled.

“Girl, what are you crying for?” She joked, parting another section of her client’s hair.

I recognized her but was not sure of her name. She always came in for installations or silk presses. Tiesha was always happy to see her, at the very least, so I knew she was a nice enough person. 

“I don’t know,” Jules whined back, sniffling and rubbing her reddening eyes.

“Now, you are too damn pretty to be looking like that,” She replied, braiding back another section. “Make an appointment with momma and I’ll hook you up.”

I scoffed, “I can do extensions, too.”

“Oh, I know. But you’re most definitely a colorist. Julie, baby, Ty will take good care of you, okay?”

“Your mom will be very happy,” Sasha chimed in, his Russian accent thick. 

Jules nodded, “Yeah, she will.”

I smiled to myself. That was the best motivator to get through this. I kept as much length as I could and I was still going to try to make her feel pretty with the new style. She had said her friends were excited but her boyfriend was conflicted. He loved her hair. That made me frown. Who the fuck says that to their girlfriend? Especially one who’s doing it for their sick mother.

“I’ve never gone this short before,” Jules said, her composure coming back. “It’s scary.”

“Don’t worry,” Sasha soothed, cleaning up from his last client. “You’ve got the best in the house. Y/N’ll take care of you.”

I winked at the boy. Sasha had grown on me considerably since he was first hired. I had not gone to Tony about his skipping after all, instead I cornered him at work and told him if he ever ditched me again I would get him fired. We were rocky after that but I knew his respect for me had gone up. A friendship blossomed when he confessed he was clueless about doing color. Sasha was an amazing stylist and his precion was otherworldly, but Destiny was right to never give him color clients. I spent a few nights helping him practice on some mannequin heads and he followed me around like a puppy. He had even agreed to clean up alone for two nights while I was in Beverly Hills helping Hoseok scope out the place. We were thick as thieves after that.

“I know that,” Jules cracked a smile. “She always takes care of me.”

“I’m flattered,” I finally said. “Don’t worry, I’ve got plans for you.”

Her smile grew. Jules had been very excited about free coloring. I had told her I was giving myself free reign, and I wondered if she thought I was going to go manic pixie on her. Hopefully some lowlights and babylights would suffice. We had never gone darker before and I thought it would suit the new cut well. 

Cutting in her layers, I was happy with how it looked. Her hair framed her face nicely and she would still have enough length to play around with it if she wanted. Jules was a fan of those half-up, half-down looks. Using my comb, I ran through her hair and cut. So far, she had not looked back at the mirror. She seemed nervous too. 

“Do you want me to cut your bangs blunt or keep them split?” I asked.

Jules perked up, “Oh! I was actually thinking about trying a new bang style.”

I nodded, “Do you have a picture?”

She opened her gallery and pulled it up. I smiled to myself. Jameela Jamil really did pull off the schoolgirl bangs. 

“So in between?” I walked around so she was facing me. 

“Do you think it’ll look nice?” She asked, chewing her bottom lip.

I studied her face for a moment. 

“You’ll look great, but it might take some time to get used to. They’re a bit more maintenance than blunt or curtain.”

She smiled, “I figured that.”

Working quietly, I began to trim her bangs into the correct shape. They will look their best after I finish styling the rest of her hair. Jules loved it when I straightened her hair after our visits. She never had the patience for it at home and it made her feel special when she got it done here. I would have to let her know that her bangs will look pretty if she curled the longer side pieces to blend them in with her natural waves. With the cutting done, it was time to start the lowlights.

“When is your next appointment?” I asked Sasha.

He was sitting in his chair and texting someone on his phone. He glanced at me before getting back to his screen.

“About twenty minutes. He’s new.”

“Oh, a man?” Tiesha dramatically emphasized the man part. It was not often that men booked with us. Sasha had gone to barber school and did amazing work, but for some reason the idea of going to a salon bothered most men. “He from out of town?”

“I think so,” The Russian nodded. “He definitely sounded foreign. I couldn’t tell where from. Maybe Asia?”

I froze for a moment. I took a breath. There was absolutely no way that any of them would do that. Then I thought of Taehyung. Absolutely not, I scolded myself. That boy feared me more than anybody else. I would ring him by his neck and then let Yoongi know about it. Besides, I said emergencies only. They would have scheduled with me if they were trying to talk. Walking back to my chair, I placed the dye and bleach down on the metal tray next to me. Opening one of the drawers at my desk, I grabbed some latex gloves and foil.

Getting started was simple. Getting the brown, I began painting sections of her hair and foiling them. The foil was not really necessary, but I always got nervous that the parts I did not want colored would get touched. Lowlights were more sparsely added, and unlike highlights, never layers. Making my way around her head, I was excited to see if she would like it. I only went a shade darker than her natural color, so the color contrast was not extremely stark. The highlights were the most important part of the look.

Foiling the last piece of hair, I took the bowl to the sink near the back as well as the brush I was using. Tossing them in and removing my gloves, I heard the bell chime and Sasha’s customer service voice begin. No one could beat Tiesha’s, that woman had client relationships like no one I had ever met. They adored her.

“Come sit and we can get started,” Sasha seemed more excited than usual.

I guessed the guy wanted something a bit different from his normal caseload.

“Alright,” I sighed, clapping my hands. “Let's get this bleach started.”

Walking back into the main room, I paid no mind to the customer sitting in Sasha’s chair. Jules was FaceTiming with someone and I grinned when I recognized her mom’s voice. She seemed very cheery today.

“Oh, I love that length on you,” Martha gushed, her accent only picking up on certain words.

“Gracias, mami,” Jules beamed. “Do you think Carlos will like it?”

Martha waved her hands around animatedly when she talked. I had learned that from the many times she came to the salon with Jules. Now, she was shaking them violently.

“Who cares?”

I laughed and got to work on her highlights. 

“I said the same thing,” I chimed.

The three of us talked as I worked. Martha always enjoyed asking me about the craziest customer of the week, and I usually indulge her. This week it had been a very convoluted, pastel rainbow color job. She wanted the top half white and the bottom portion colored. She booked out my entire day, gave me hell about every insignificant detail, and then left a $2 tip. Sasha got to hear me rant and rave about it when we were cleaning that night.

“She’s never allowed in my chair again,” I finished, setting a timer for everything. 

The lowlights had been sitting for twenty minutes while the babylights would need about 15 in order to develop the way I want them to. Thinking, I was certain the lowlights would be fine going two minutes over the usual time. They would be hardly noticeable regardless. 

“You’ve had worse,” Sasha pointed out.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “But those women tip well. I don’t care how rude you are- money is money. That chick is a pain in the ass without the benefits.”

“She has nothing on Kimberly,” Tiesha joked. 

I groaned, “God, don’t even put that name into the universe. She’s due back soon.”

Sasha laughed. “She does pay very well. Don’t blame you.”

“Who’s Kimberly?” Jules asked.

I gave Tiesha a look before answering her.

“She’s a regular. Tony was her go-to guy, but he’s only in twice a week and it doesn’t line up with her schedule. He sent her over to me. Let’s just say she takes picky to a new level.”

Jules snickered, “What does she like to get?”

“Usually a platinum blonde, layered cut. On paper it’s not the most difficult thing in the world, but she makes it much more complicated than it needs to be.”

“Complicated?” Tiesha exclaimed. “That woman is super rude, always late, and acts like she knows everything. I’d tell that bitch to kick rocks.”

Her client laughed out loud.

“That might be true,” I reasoned, checking the foils. “But, she always tips well and shouts me out on her socials. So, can I really complain? Besides, I’m used to her.”

Checking the foils again, I was happy with the color they were and decided to take the foils off early. Stopping my timer, I asked Jules to walk over to the rinsing station. I was happy this was my last client. Sweeping up the hair, I left it in the dustpan until I was ready to begin the tedious task of preparing it for donation. Putting on a new pair of gloves, I willed this day to be over already.

I knew something was off when a new motorcycle was parked out front. Briefly checking the plates, I was even more weary when they were from Jersey. I knew far too many people in that corner of the US. Still, I told myself that it could be anybody. Perhaps one of my new neighbors was from Hobokan. That was highly unlikely, though. Eyeing the red leather jacket hanging from one of the handles, I only knew one person who owned something like that. I guess I will be seeing Jimin tonight. The thought bothered me far more than I thought it would.

Taking my time going up the stairs, I considered calling Hoseok and demanding to know why Park was sniffing around my apartment. I knew I should have moved out, should have tried something new, but the thought of leaving the only home I ever knew bothered me. Using the time climbing to my advantage, I slowly steeled myself. Jimin could smell weakness from a mile away. He was also one person who could convince me to do bad things.

The excitement that ran through me at the idea sickened me.

Starting at the 4 on the door, I braced myself. When I walked into that hallway all traces of the new me had to disappear. There can be no laughter, no crying, and no open hostility. I would have to be a blank slate. With one small breath, I pulled the door and went into the hall.

There wasn’t a body in sight, but I knew better than to go off of that. Jimin could get into my apartment with relative ease. No one would notice either. Everyone else that lived was too busy making ends meet to pay attention to the stranger sneaking into my house.

Taking my keys out of my purse, I unlocked the door and walked inside. I could smell him. It was, however, not Jimin. Jimin only wore Orange Blossom by Jo Malone. Whoever this was smelled like baby powder and flowers. My guard completely up now, I continued further into the studio and kicked the door closed behind me. Whoever it was, I knew had been standing behind the door. The smell was not as potent as it had been before. 

Going into the kitchen, I shrugged my coat off before throwing it behind me. I heard it hit something and it was a blur after that. I quickly snatched a kitchen knife from the drying rack and threw myself to the ground. The man grabbed my hands. Kicking his inner thigh, I rolled from underneath him and shot up. He threw his arms up.

“Stop!”

Ignoring him, I threw the knife. The man reacted quickly, catching the blade in between his hands before throwing it down on the floor. While he was distracted, I slid on the floor and grabbed the pistol from under my bed. Pointing it at the man, he rolled his eyes dramatically.

“What are you going to do? Shoot me?”

Without saying anything, I aimed for his left shoulder and fired. The silencer muzzled the shot, though the pop was still nasty. It worked better with a pillow added to the equation. I doubted any of my neighbors would notice the sound, however. The man shouted, stumbled back, and leaned against the fridge.

“You shot me,” He exclaimed, shocked.

“Who the fuck are you?” I barked, aimed for his other shoulder.

“You wait to ask me after you-”

I shot again. He gritted his teeth and sank to the floor. The wounds were leaking blood but I tried to not let it bother me. This guy broke into my house. This time, I aimed for his right knee.

“Who are you?” I asked again.

“Jungkook,” The man, Jungkook, answered. “I’m with The Saints.”

Lowering the barrel of the gun, I stared at him for a second. He was with my crew? Since when? 

“Who sent you?” I asked, aiming at his chest now.

If he was going to get found out, he might be more inclined to lunge before I could call anyone.

“Yoongi.”

Slowly, I reached into my back pocket and got my phone. I was relieved the screen hadn’t cracked during the outfall. Slowly, keeping my eyes on Jungkook, I started typing in the number I knew by heart. If he was lucky, Yoongi would pick up. If not, then we weren’t moving until someone did. After the second ring, a rough voice greeted me.

“August.”

Training my gun on his head, I spoke.

“There’s someone claiming they know you in my apartment.”

After a few seconds, Yoongi’s voice was hard when he replied.

“Who is it?”

“Says his name is Jungkook,” I replied evenly.

I was fully prepared to pull the trigger. Jungkook stared the barrel down without fear. I only hoped he would go down quickly and quietly. 

Yoongi sighed harshly, “Fucking Jimin.”

Gripping the handle tightly, I placed my finger on the trigger. I only needed the okay now.

“He’s fine,” Yoongi was annoyed. “I sent Jimin but I guess he got the kid to go instead.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, I put the gun down. Jungkook visibly relaxed then and moaned in pain. Raising a hand, he cradled his left shoulder and hissed in pain. 

“Fucked him up,” I admitted. “He was in my apartment when I got home.”

Yoongi hummed, “Take care of him. He’ll let you know what’s going on. We have a problem.”

He hung up before I could respond.

I hated when he did that. I had no idea who Jungkook was, or what he was here to tell me, but we were on the same team. And I just shot him. Twice. Putting the gun back in its original spot, I reached a little further behind it and retrieved my first aid kit. Jungkook sagged in relief. 

“Sorry,” I apologized, helping him take his shirt off. “Didn’t realize you were with us.”

Jungkook hissed when I applied alcohol to the wounds. It would take me a while to get his patched up, but I was capable of doing it. Years of friendship with The Saints would do that to you. Looking at Jungkook, I was taken aback by how attractive he was.

All of the Saints were good looking, but this guy had an aura about him. His hair was wild, pitch black, and down to his shoulders. His skin was gently tanned with small moles dotted sporadically across his body. What caught my attention the most was the shiny, silver lip ring he donned. That was an oddity in our world.

“My fault, shouldn’t have broken in without a warning,” He replied.

“I saw the bike outside and thought you were Jimin.”

He hummed then winced. I knew those bullets did not feel nice. Taking my time and trying to be gentle, I used a pair of tweezers to get them out. Jungkook bit his lip so hard he drew blood. 

“Yeah,” He breathed out. “Let me borrow it for the ride.”

“Park,” We both knew what I meant by that.

For the next hour we sat in silence. He let me work and I listened to every sharp intake of breath, groan, and moan. I felt guilty about everything, but I also had a certain level of apathy. The guy was nobody to me. Not really. Same crew doesn’t mean we’re friends. Still, if they sent him here then that meant they trusted him enough to come. That told me a lot about him.

After I placed gauze over the stitches, Jungkook finally spoke again.

“Jin hyung said you were harmless,” He chuckled. “I’ll let him know he’s wrong.”

Ignoring his comment, I went to find him something to wear. I doubted he would be able to fit any of my things. He was huge, a tall man with big arms, but I could make something work. Grabbing a loose fitting dress, I threw it to him.

“I don’t have anything for a man, so that will have to do.”

He nodded and put the dress on without complaint.

“I’ll pick up something for you later,” I continued. “Did you come alone?”

Jungkook shook his head, “Hyung’s around. He was going to come but an old friend called so he sent me.”

“Kai?” I wondered, already knowing the answer. 

Jimin and Kai were good friends. They had known one another since they were kids and got involved in crime together. I’d only met the guy in passing the few times he had visited Boston, but I was not very familiar with him. I knew he was a drug runner on the west coast but that was where my knowledge stopped.

“Yeah, said they had business or something.”

I hummed, “Would you like to lay down for a moment?”

Jungkook was very obviously in pain. He tried to deny it for a minute but ultimately took my offer. Going to the fridge, I pulled out a can of Ginger Ale and gave it to him. He accepted it readily.

“Sorry about the gun,” I offered, sitting on the floor. “Jin’s right. I’m usually pretty harmless. I didn’t even own a gun until I left The Saints.”

Jungkook shook his head, “Don’t worry about it. You weren’t expecting company.”

Opening my own drink, I eyed him. He was far too calm. My guess was this was not his first time being shot. Trying to find other wounds was pointless, however, he was too clothed. I hadn’t even thought to check when I was helping him earlier.

“Why’d you come inside anyway?” I asked.

Jungkook grinned ruefully.

“Hyung said he’d call you.”

That pulled a laugh out of me. Park probably forgot about it. For someone as dangerous as he was, he could be irresponsible. I remember when we were scoping a jewelry store together a few years back, Jimin had completely forgotten where the cameras were by the time we left. I had to go back myself a few days later to make sure his guesses were right. We had never let him live it down. Yoongi did not think it was very funny.

“Typical,” I said.

“Yeah.”

Jungkook’s eyes slipped closed. He was so completely at ease in my presence it was unnerving. Taking a sip of my drink, I looked at him in bewilderment. He was so much like Taehyung, trusting and easy going. It was difficult to imagine what role he played in the crew. He could have taken my place but I doubted he was as good. He had come here, hid behind my door, and then ambushed me. Then he was surprised when I acted like he was an enemy. Chuckling, I put my drink down. Yeah, just like Taehyung.

“What’s funny?” He asked, eyes still closed.

Wiping the smile off my face, I replied. “Just thinking.”

We did not talk again. I was sure Jungkook had dozed off, but he kept waking back up again. Getting up, I began looking for some pain medicine to no avail. I had not needed to put myself to sleep in a long time. Grabbing my keys from the floor, I told Jungkook I was heading out for a bit. I got no response. Patting myself down, I knew I did not have my phone and picked it up from beside the bed. Jungkook was lightly snoring.

Slipping from the room, I locked up and went downstairs. Typing in the last number I had for Jimin, I was not surprised that it was no longer in service. He changed phones like you change clothes. Deciding to call Taehyung, I went to my contacts to find him. He was the only person I saved.

“Hello?” His voice was deep and hoarse. 

Glancing at the time, I realized it was much later than I thought. 

“Sorry about the time,” I replied. “It’s Mouse.”

I heard shuffling on the other side. Taehyung had gotten himself a girlfriend, Jennie, and I was almost positive she was relatively clueless about his life. The last time I talked to Hoseok, he had said she thought he was a tech guy who was helping a start up. He must have been with her now if his silence was anything to go by.

“Sorry,” He said, voice low. “I’m not alone.”

“I just need Park’s number and you can get back to bed.”

Saying the numbers slowly, I typed them into my keypad as I made my way through the dark streets. 

“Thanks,” I stopped walking once I got to the gas station around the corner. “Get some sleep.”

“It was good to hear your voice,” He replied, more awake than he had been. “I’ll be seeing you.”

“Night, V.”

“Night, Mouse.”

Hanging up, I stuffed my phone into my back pocket and walked into the store. It was deserted except for the cashier. Giving me a stiff nod, I ignored the man before going to the back of the store and getting some bottled water. I never trusted the tap in the building. Afterwards, I got a bottle of Nyquil and Advil before going to the register.

“Let me get a pack of Marlboro Black Menthols,” I told the cashier.

Taking out my phone, I took my ID from the attached wallet as well as my debit card. The man held the pack of cigarettes and took my ID. Briefly looking it over, he scanned the barcode before scanning the cigarettes. Handing the ID back to me, he began scanning my other items before bagging them.

“Your total is $26.87.”

Nodding, I inserted my card and typed my pin. Putting my card back into the small wallet, I put my phone into my pocket and took the bag.

“Have a good night,” I said.

“You too,” He replied.

Leaving the store, I opened up my keypad and pressed the call button. Jimin picked up after four rings.

“Hello?” He answered, voice brightly and bubbly.

He always answered unknown numbers like that just in case. Jimin always prioritized having the upper hand over anything else. Anyone looking for Park would never connect him to the voice on the other side. I, however, was familiar enough with him to see through the facade.

“You got your boy hit,” I said, cutting right to the chase. “I had to give him a dress and Nyquil after popping two in him.”

Jimin laughed loudly, his fake voice gone. This was why we were friends. Our senses of humor were far too warped due to our upbringings. In another world we would have been enemies belonging to different clans, but I liked this timeline far more. Park was a great guy when you looked past the insecurities, anger issues, and tendency to seek violence.

“Jungkook’s wearing a dress?” He exclaimed, still laughing. “God, you have to take a picture for me.”

I rolled my eyes, “Explain why he’s here. I would ask him but I stepped out to get some medicine for him.”

Jimin’s laughter abruptly cut off. That feeling of dread returned. If Park was getting serious then that meant whatever the situation was must be more than I thought it would be. I was expecting them to need me to help them with a heist, but I was getting the feeling it might be more than that. Jimin sighed.

“I can’t get into specifics right now, but you need to get the fuck out of California.”

Going up the stairs of my complex, I paused. 

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re not safe here anymore.”

Growing angry, I shouted. “Enough with the cryptic messages, Park!”

Continuing to go up, I kept looking around every corner I went to. This was the worst fucking timing I could have had. Things were finally going well for me, I had friends and a job that I actually liked, and I had to give it all up again. Tears filling my eyes, I shoved open my door and slammed it behind me.

“I told you I can’t get into specifics, but there’s a reason I’m with Kai right now. You and Jungkook need to get out of that apartment as soon as possible. I don’t care where you go but you need to leave.”

Jungkook sprung up when I kicked the edge of my bed. Pointing to my phone, I mouth ‘Jimin.’ Getting on my knees, I pulled out my duffle bag from underneath the bed and threw it at the other man. He looked at me when he stood up. I noticed the way he winced and held up the bag in my hand.

“Copy,” Was all I replied.

“Get to Boston. Don’t take the truck.”

“Give me something to work with,” I demanded, taking the Advil out of the bag and tossing it to Jungkook. “I can’t be blind.”

“Cмерть не за горами.”

My entire world stopped spinning. I could hear my heart beating, feel my lungs pushing the air out of my body, while my eyes were frozen. Every single inch of my skin shivered, goosebumps springing up, and I broke out into a cold sweat. This was no heist. 

Hanging up on Jimin, I went to the window above my bed and opened it. Throwing the phone as far as I could, I turned to find Jungkook waiting for instructions. Staring at him, I decided to take a leap of faith.

“Ты один из нас?” I asked.

Jungkook raised an eyebrow at me. “What?”

Gritting my teeth, I snatched the duffle from him. Jungkook continued waiting for me to tell him what to do. I pointed to my bathroom.

“Take everything from the mirror cabinet and put it in the bag. After that, grab what you can from the wardrobe and stuff it. Only take one pair of shoes and a pair of heels. That’s all I’ll need.”

He got to work quickly. Going back to the bed, I took out my gun and the spare ammo I kept locked up at the very back corner. Placing the ammo in the duffle, I took my first aid kit from the kitchen floor and tossed it in as well. 

“Do you have a gun?” I asked Jungkook.

“Yeah,” He replied. “It’s in the jacket downstairs. I thought you would feel more comfortable if I wasn’t armed.”

Packing my small makeup collection, I felt myself shutting down. Bad girls don’t have feelings, and I was fucking heartless. Yes, I told myself, heartless. It was harder to pretend now than it had been, I was rusty and in desperate need of a distraction. The thought of finding my old family in the shadows was always frightening, but the thought of them looking for me was far more unsettling.

“Done,” Jungkook announced.

Realizing I had zoned out, I quickly put my makeup in the duffle bag and closed it. I had no time to dwell or be afraid. Heartless, Mouse, Heartless. I hated that name. Shaking my head, I pulled myself together enough to sling the duffle over my shoulder. Jungkook went to take it but I held my hand up.

“You’re not carrying this with your injuries. Just take that bag and this-” I handed him my gun. “I don’t know how quick you are but it’s probably better than me. I’m rusty.”

He nodded and we made our way down the stairs. Thinking, I began to categorize the cars that were in the parking lot and on the street. My truck was near the front but the streets were shrouded in light at this time. Jungkook’s bike was also out front. The back had security cameras but was pitch black at this time. I decided the front was the risk I was more willing to take and went through the hallway door on the first floor. Passing the doors, I paid no mind to Jungkook. He was capable and stayed in step with me effortlessly. 

We would drive for a few hours, probably stopping at a diner so I could get another car, and keep going until we hit Arizona or New Mexico. I had not decided yet. Going out the front doors, I waved Jungkook away while I walked down the street. He went to get his jacket but left the bike behind. He was back beside me in a few seconds. 

Crossing the street, I had my eyes on a Honda Accord parked on the curb. It was definitely a ‘97 model. I could start her up in a heartbeat. Unzipping one of the side pockets of my bag, I pulled out a switchblade and zipped it back up. Going to the driver’s side, Jungkook stayed at my back while I tried the handle. To my surprise, it opened. Stepping to the side, I gently tapped Jungkook’s back. Turning, he quickly shoved the gun into the backseat as I opened the door. After seeing that the coast was clear, I motioned for him to go around the car while I popped the truck. He said it was fine.

Nodding at him, I got into the car. Kicking the steering wheel, I heard the column lock break before swapping the ECUs. Taking my knife, I ripped off the lower center cover. Getting back out of the car, I opened the backseat and threw my duffle inside. Putting my knife back in its pocket, I opened the long side pocket along the front and pulled out my old screwdriver. This was far from the first jacking I had done.

Getting back into the car, I began to pry the steel cover away. Asking Jungkook for a light, I waited while he pulled out his phone from the pocket of the red jacket. He was lucky no one had taken it. With the flashlight on, I turned the switch from off, past run, to start. The car came to life instantaneously. Waving the light away, I threw the screwdriver into the center console and placed the car in drive. Finally closing the driver’s side door, I peeled off into the night.

The radio came to life and Amy Winehouse sang loudly as I got onto the I-5.

“Til’ the chips were down

Know you were a gambling man.

Love is a losing hand.”

Jungkook was very quiet. I had just followed exit sounds and continued to drive toward Arizona. It was the least exciting state, and the people who lived there were far too judgemental outside of Phoenix, but it was the best way to get to the airport. That airport was far too big and strangely laid out that I knew we would be difficult to pick out in a crowd. Glazing over at Jungkook, he was holding the pack of cigarettes I had bought earlier.

“They’re for Jimin,” I suddenly said, switching lanes. “They were his favorite last time I saw him.”

“I think he’s smoking Camels now,” Jungkook replied.

“Can’t win them all.”

Sighing, I relaxed a bit more in my seat. So far, we have not been followed. Then again, I could be missing something. Tracking was not a strong suit of mine, and in my experience, the Russians were very, very evasive when they wanted to be. Still, I allowed myself a moment to breathe. 

“How do you know the boys in Brighton?” Jungkook asked, voice quiet and soft.

I thought about it for a moment. It was a rather long story, but knowing that we were familiar with the same people made it feel easier. Deciding to probe him for information first, I formed a plan in my head on how to go about this conversation.

“Have you ever heard of the person called Pыбка?” I asked, my American accent showing through. It had been a very, very long time since I had spoken Russian, and even then it had always been a second language that I learned from my time with the Shulaya.

“Ivan’s girl, right? The one who was murdered a few years back? What about her?”

Sparing him a quick glance, I spoke.

“Do I look dead to you?”

Jimin and I had known one another longer than anyone else in The Saints. He had been the last person to join the crew, and was deep within the Shulaya before he went to Jersey to join Hoseok’s team. I would never forget the look on his face the first time he saw me, or the fact that it took him all of ten minutes to get fully committed to keeping me safe. Everyone called me Mouse. Jin had come up with it after joking about me being able to live in someone’s attic and they would never know. It caught on and it was the only name anyone on the streets knew about. The ‘Little Fish’ of Shulaya long forgotten after the first two years of hiding. However, it seemed like my face had been seen by somebody and Ivan was not happy about my disappearing act. 

“Holy shit,” Jungkook said in awe. “We’re so fucked.”

I laughed, “Have some faith. Ivan is scary, but he’s also impulsive. I know him better than most and trust me- he doesn’t know how to keep his cool. Between Boston and NYC, I doubt he’ll get very far into their territory without raising hell.”

Jungkook made a strange noise.

“I’d be far more afraid of Yoongi than any of those Wiseguys.”

Scoffing, I saw the exit I needed to take in order to pull up at the last Holiday Inn before the long stretch of nothing at all. Jungkook seemed to see where my mind was going and began to look out of the window. After briefly going over what food options we had, we landed on Taco Bell. 

Ordering our food was simple enough. Jungkook was a huge tomato hater and was very upset to find that his Crunch Wrap had been ‘ruined.’ The motel seemed to have a few quests and I hoped we could get a room. Jungkook offered to pay. The frontdesk lady was kind and found us a room within 5 minutes. 

Using the elevator, I asked Jungkook if he still had the ‘thing’ with him. He nodded but said no more. It was probably better that way. Throwing my duffle bag onto my bed, I realized that Jungkook was still wearing a dress with the pants he had come inside in. 

Digging through my bag, I found a pair of sweatpants that would fit him well enough as well as an oversized nightshirt I rarely ever wore. I usually slept naked. Tonight, I will try to make my partner feel comfortable.

Throwing the clothes on his bed, Jungkook perked up a bit and seemed to be fine with their sizes. I wondered if he had been wearing more uncomfortable clothes at one time and shook my head. He had walked into this motel wearing that. Yes, Y/N, he has definitely been far more uncomfortable than tightly sweats. 

“You can take the bathroom first,” I pointed to the door. “You need it more than I do.”

Jungkook nodded, “Would you mind helping me get out of this thing? It still hurts to move my arms around too much.

Looking at him, I pinned him with an unimpressed look. We were not having one of those moments. Still looking at Jungkook, I unzipped the pouching with my switchblade in it and pulled the knife out. Walking to Jungkook, I quickly worked on the right side of the fabric. The left side was even quicker. Gently lifting his arm just enough to see his armpit, I cut the short sleeve from the bottom, following up with the top, and up the high neckline. Repeating it on the other side, the blood-soaked garment pooling to the floor. 

Jungkook seemed frozen. Looking at his face, his eyes were wide and staring at the blade in my hand. Thinking he might be uncomfortable with me standing so close to him with a weapon, I walked back to my bed.

“If you need help getting the shirt on, just let me know.”

“Thanks,” Jungkook replied.

Picking up the spare clothes, he walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. The water was on a few seconds later. Fully alone in the room, I looked around and decided to throw out the dress. With the torn up dress safely put away in my duffle, I tried to figure out what to do while I waited. 

Taking Jungkook’s phone off of his bed (he used a flip phone just like Yoongi did on the job), I quickly found my way to the contacts. Hovering over Jimin’s number, I paused. Not thinking about it for too long, I pressed it and placed my phone to my ear. He answered quickly.

“Where are you?” Jimin asked, voice very low.

“Are you safe to talk?” I replied, voice just as low.

I could hear the way Jimin rolled his eyes, a small groan leaving his lips.

“I’m fine,” His voice was still soft. “I’m at a casino right now. Did you steal his phone?”

My blood ran cold. Most of our guys loved gambling, but Jimin had always thought it was a dumb pastime. I knew Ivan had been trying to expand the Russian influence in Los Angeles, and I hoped that he knew what he was doing. Jimin tended to run into situations without contemplating everything. Instead of grilling him, I decided to ease his worries.

“We’re safe. Heading east.” I looked around the room distractedly. “And no. I’m using it while he’s taking a shower.”

Jimin sighed in relief, “Kook is a good guy. He’ll keep you safe long enough to make it back to Boston. I’ll be on my way back in a few hours.”

It was better to keep things vague. Just like I had not said where we were headed, Jimin’s answer could mean anything. I heard Jungkook cry out but he was quiet soon after. I hoped the work I had done was keeping. I had told him to keep the stitches covered.

“See you soon,” I forced a smile on my face. “I got you a pack of cigarettes.”

Jimin laughed, though it sounded more forced than normal.

“Stay safe. I have to go.”

I hung up without another word. If he had to go then he had to go. The shower was still running and I was bored again. Looking at the door, I was tempted to walk around for a while. I had a feeling I would get myself into trouble if I did, but I was curious to see if I could get some extra clothes for Jungkook. Possibly a set of car keys, too. Looking at the bathroom door, I figured he was going to be there for a while.

“Fuck it,” I said under my breath.

Getting my room key, I slipped out of the room quietly. 

The hallway was deserted, not a body in sight, but I had a feeling I could get something if I looked hard enough. Going to the elevator, I spotted a young couple laughing. Slowing my walk, I was happy to see that they were getting on the elevator.

Angling my body, I was practically jumping up and down when my eye caught on their room key. This would be too easy. The elevator chimed signaling someone was getting off. Quickly moving my body, I relied on their clinginess to sneak into the corridor without a problem. A group of people pooled out of the elevator and I drifted into their numbers.

The couple stood to the side and waited for us to pass. Using my foot, I tripped a young woman in front of me. She stumbled while I placed myself in a position to trip over her. The both of us dropped. The woman fell into the man. Falling, I shuffled closer to the man’s hand while the woman began apologizing profusely.

Quickly snatching the card from him, I slipped it into my pocket while I stood up. Adjusting my clothes, I quickly apologized as well. The couple waved the both of us off, seemingly unbothered, before getting on the elevator. Nodding to the woman, I turned toward the way the couple had come from. Looking at the keycard, I made my way toward the door with the number on it. I was lucky the woman and I had similar hair styles, but I was aware of Holiday Inn well enough to say that most of their cameras did not work.

Glancing up at the camera in the middle of the hallway, I was positive it was not working. Typically there would be a small, red dot that showed it was recording. Today, it was off. Letting myself in, I knew I had to be quick and clean.

Tonight I would only get clothes. Car keys were something I would have to snatch in the morning over breakfast. Someone would notice their keys missing in the middle of the night. Locating a large, black suitcase on the floor by the foot of the bed, I pulled it up onto the bed and unzipped it.

Carefully sifting through the clothes, I only pulled out enough for two outfits before gently placing everything back smoothly. They would probably be a bit big on Jungkook, but I doubted he would mind very much. I swore he was wearing a belt, but I had not been paying enough attention to know for sure. 

Going to the pockets of the bag, I was happy to find a container of hair pomade and hoped it might make Jungkook happy. He would be able to do his hair if he wanted. Grabbing a pack of hair bands and a pair of boxers, I was ready to leave. Going into the dresser, I pulled out the complimentary bag they gave every guest, I shoved the clothes in it before leaving the room. With the keycard in my hand, I dropped it in the spot the couple had been before making my way back to my own room.

Jungkook was sitting on his bed drying his hair when I came in. He was wearing the sweatpants and t-shirt I had given him. I was glad he was able to get it on alone, but I felt bad I had not been here to help him. Holding up the bag, I tossed it his way.

“The first robbery I’ve done in four years,” I shook my head. “You should feel special.”

Jungkook opened the bag and grinned at me. His hair went just past his shoulders when it was wet, his fluffy curls weighed down by the water. Sifting through the bag, he seemed the happiest about the hair ties. 

Getting my own clothes, I let him know I was going to take a shower. Getting under the hot water was a healing experience, and for the first time today I let a few tears slip out.

I was terrified, frustrated, but mostly- pissed.

Twelve years ago

Hands bound, I let my body relax. Ivan’s eyes were blazing, his anger palpable, but I refused to look away. He would never think I was weak again. Walking closer, the Russian yanked me up roughly, one of the straps of my sundress breaking.

“What the fuck did you do?” He seethed, his accent thick and almost incoherent through gritted teeth. “You always ruin everything you touch.”

Slowly, and with great care, I pooled spit into my mouth. With a quick gurgle, I spit in Ivan’s eye. My rebellion had angered just as much as it had excited Ivan. The thought made me sick to my stomach. I wanted to be as far away from him as possible, his hands burning my skin. Slamming me down, Ivan roared in anger before delivering a swift kick to my stomach.

Gasping, I tried my hardest to keep the vomit down. I refused to give him the satisfaction. I wished I was with Alexei. He would never have treated me like this. As if the thought had transferred over to the man beside me, he kicked me again.

“Alexei is dead, Лох,” He shouted. “You’re mine now.”

With another swift kick, I cried out. Then, without warning my stomach twisted. Another kick. Finally, I threw up all over the concrete floor beneath me. 

For now. I was yours for now.

Present

With a new set of car keys in my hand, I walked into the parking lot. Jungkook was on the phone, but quickly hung up when he saw me approaching. Raising an eyebrow at him, I waved him over and we began walking together. Clicking the unlock button, I smiled when I saw the yellow Porsche. The two of us placed our things inside without a care in the world and drove off quickly after. 

I had found the targets for today the night before while walking around the hotel late last night. It was a young woman and her mother. The two of them had been a whirlwind and gave the staff hell. Unable to sleep, my head headaches from exhaustion, and their bickering only pissed me off more. Unfortunately for them, they had made a big show of their money and decided to brag about their car.

It took a few minutes to switch out license plates and even less time to steal her car keys this morning during breakfast. They were staying for another day and had not planned on leaving the hotel at all. Jungkook laughed once we were a safe distance away.

“I’m still in shock at that woman’s entitlement,” He shook his head. “Did you see the way she flipped out when they ran out of bacon before her ‘precious angel’ could get any?”

Chuckling, I kept my attention on the road.

“Her attitude was the only reason I swiped this thing. I would never get into something so obvious.”

“It was as easy as stealing candy from a baby.”

Feeling confident from the jacking, I decided to play along.

“Do you steal from babies often?”

Jungkook giggled cutely, “I’ve cut down to twice a year.”

“Oh?”

“Halloween-” He counted with one finger, and lifted another, “-and Easter.”

“Easter?” My eyebrows pulled in as I laughed incredulously.

Jungkook grinned lazily. 

“Stockings are so last year.”

It was becoming increasingly more difficult to think of him as a member of the mafia. While my age had made others test my abilities far more often than the others I never believed anyone doubted who I was. There was a look in your eye, this coldness, that separated you from the rest. I could pick out a killer in a line up- we were one in the same. However, Jungkook was impossible to get a read on. His boyish charms and good looks were not uncommon, but the innocence in his smile and the brightness that remained in his eyes were unsettling. Everything about him was unnerving. He was disarming and that alone was frightening.

Realizing the car had become quiet, I turned the radio on. It was a habit of mine. I did not like the silence. I hated it. Some trashy pop song blasted but I did not care. Jungkook did and began to look for something he liked more.

“What do you like?” He asked, pressing the screen to change the stations.

“Pick whatever,” I replied, flipping off the guy who cut me off.

Arizona was the worst state I had ever been to. The drive was not as awful as Texas, nothing will ever beat the twelve hours of hell to still be in that damned state, but it was not much better. Outside of Phoenix the towns were not as grand. Tucson gave her a run for her money, but never came close to the busy city. Driving through the desert, I asked Jungkook to pull up the directions to the airport. I no longer knew my way.

“How did you meet the guys?” I asked, eyes on the road.

Jungkook picked a pop station and leaned back in his seat.

“Through Jimin,” He replied. “They needed help dealing with someone. I had just left New York and we ran into each other in Vegas. I liked everyone so I decided to join.”

Raising an eyebrow, I quickly turned my head so he could see my expression.

“Ivan let you leave?”

“I wasn’t a member,” Jungkook mumbled. “Just an acquaintance. I was for hire.”

That was not what I had expected. Jungkook did not seem like a killer, but I had been proven wrong many times. When I lived with my parents I had met many assassins I would have never guessed who they were just looking at them. Even talking with them it was impossible to detect. Looking at the man, I found it hard to believe that we were from the same background. While I had ran from that life, Jungkook ran toward it with open arms. In fact, he seemed to pay it little mind.

“What family are you from?” I asked. “My family was under The Table.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows shot up.

“You’re from the Underground?”

I nodded, “I never really wanted that life. I’m a much better thief anyway.”

Jungkook rubbed his bottom lip. I forced myself to focus on the road. Even if we were the only people out here, I did not want to risk anything. I had stolen the car and the plate and getting stuck out here would be hell.

“I’m with Sacarii.”

The Sacarii was the sister organization to The Table. While my family had mostly dealt with members of gangs and high profile families, members of the Sacarii were the people who went after other assassins. Stealing another look at Jungkook, I looked at the tattoos on his arm and tried to find his symbol. All of us got one, mine was a tiger on my right side, but the ink was too difficult to look at while driving.

“I have a tiger lily,” Jungkook said, noticing my assessment. “I have a few of them, actually.”

Lilies are from Japan, but I knew Jungkook was Korean. His name alone gave him away. Waving my hand, I asked him to explain when he got it.

“My family moved to Japan when I was fifteen. I had my first kill there so we decided that I would get something to represent that. The prayer hands on my back were done by the organization after the ordainment.”

Ordainments were very common. It was the process an assassin went through to become an official member of their organization. Their families were no longer defined by blood but the common experiences each one shared. The Table and the Sacarii were one big family, but oftentimes we did not get along with one another. Civil at best and competition at worst. Prayer hands with a rosary were the tattoos everyone got. It was large, covering the entire center of the back, with the family oath written above and below it. 

“I never got mine,” I admitted. “I ran off before my ceremony. That’s when I met Alexei.”

“How old were you?”

Smiling sadly, I replied. “Thirteen.”

“Oh,” He said. “I didn’t know they got people that young.”

“Well, he saw me kill someone and wanted to keep me. I doubt you knew him- he died a few years ago.”

Jungkook nodded, “Yeah. What was he like?”

Laughing, I spotted a gas station and decided to stop. We were at half a tank, but I wanted to be safe. Jungkook took out his wallet and handed me a twenty. 

“He was a better man than his brother,” I answered, taking the money. “He knew how to stay calm and respect other people. Alexei always kept good relationships with the other families. Ivan is an idiot who can’t handle criticisms of any kind.”

“He’s that awful? I mean, I only know him through brief meetings.”

“I’d rather be dead than serve him again,” I opened my door. “But you already know that.”

Settling in my seat, I glanced over at Jungkook. He looked tired and I let him know it was fine to sleep. He nodded and slipped his eyes closed shortly after. Taking my new phone out of my pocket, I decided to make a quick phone call before we took off. Jungkook and I had picked up a flip phone from Walmart on our way to the airport. It was more secure than any smartphone. Dialing the number, I waited.

“Hello?” Hoseok picked up.

“I’m landing in Massachusetts,” I replied, knowing he was aware of the situation by now. It had been a day and a half. “Pick me up at our spot.”

“Jin will be there.”

“Copy.”

Hoseok sighed heavily, “Is the kid okay? Heard you shook him up.”

Glancing at Jungkook, I was shocked he was snoring. 

“He’s fine,” I replied. “He’s definitely in pain, and tries to keep his movement to a minimum, but hides it from me. Attempts to, I should say.  I took care of him as best I could but Agust should get his hands on his ASAP.”

Hoseok hummed and I knew he was nodding. He was a very animated, lively person and could not sit still for long. He got into a fist fight with a Russian who took offense to his hand movements. 

“See you when I see you.”

“Three o’clock,” I said before hanging up.

Sliding my phone back into my pocket, I finally buckled my seat. Shaking Jungkook awake, I told him to put his belt on. He grinned at me lazily before doing it. He fell asleep again quickly. 

Happy to have a window seat, I watched as we began to take off. It had been a while since I was on a plane. The last time was when I was running to California as quickly as I could. Kansas had been nice when I had first left The Saints, but it quickly became suffocating. The silence and mundane town life made my skin crawl. California had seemed like it would be better, more fun, but it had become just as mundane after a while. 

I had always gotten bored easily. It was why I enjoyed pickpocketing. As a kid, my little hands and unassuming looks had made it easy. I never planned on getting good at it. At the time it felt less damning in comparison to what the people in my life wanted me to do. 

There was a time when I was happy killing, pleasing my family had always felt good, but that faded when my teenage years approached. Running away to New York was a quick, impulsive decision I had made when I was afraid of my future. Staring at the clear, blue sky, I scoffed. 

I had run away from one hell into another. I went from that one into another. The Saints were my family, but I would be lying if I said I felt they were any different from what I had always done. Kansas had been my first attempt at normalcy, and San Diego had been me living in that world.

And I loved it, in my own way. It was nice to have a routine. It felt good to have friends, even if they were the most surface level friendships I could allow myself to have, and I owned my own things. I had earned what I had. 

Now I was flying back to a place I was not sure I belonged anymore. I felt two halves of myself fighting one another. One half wanted to run again, to disappear, and get as far away from this place as possible. Then there was the other side of me, the twisted, dark, nasty side of myself that was reveling in all of this. My excitement was hard for me to figure out, and I began to doubt myself.

Had I ever really wanted this life? Has it all been a dream? A fantasy of a perfectly serene, normal, and legal lifestyle I had never known? Finding a cloud, I rubbed my temples and sighed. 

I doubted I would ever have an answer to that question.

Five years ago

Standing around the table, all of us went over the plan again. They were doing construction on the roof, so that would be the quickest, and easiest, point of entrance. I would go first while Hoseok and Jin dressed as police officers to take out the security guards in the back. Taehyung would take care of the cameras before this. Yoongi would follow behind me along with Jimin. I would lead the team after we had taken over the museum.

Looking over at Jimin, he was already looking at me. Everyone knew that this would be my last mission, and he had taken it the worst. We hardly spoke and he actively ignored me. I was surprised he was acknowledging me at all. Breaking eye contact, I went back to explaining the pieces we would be taking.

“Don was very specific about these three pieces,” I said, pointing to the Rembrandt and two pieces of jewelry. “These are our high payouts. Get these first. After that we can make quick work of the rest.”

“Who did you say the others were going to?” Yoongi asked.

“The rest are split up between some vendors I know,” I replied. “Freddie Newman, Diane Pollack, and Dwayne Smith. The jewels are for Georgie Boy, Archie, and two others. Park’s handling that.”

“This is a big job,” Hoseok mumbled. “Will the six of us be able to get it done?”

I nodded easily. 

“Yes, we’ll have all the time in the world once those guards are taken care of. I’m planning on this being an hour- two at most.”

Looking back at Jimin, I was happy to see he was grinning at me. We would be fine. Deciding we had gone over everything, I walked away from the table. 

“We’ll leave at midnight.”

“Copy,” Jimin replied.

Smiling to myself, I left the room and went to the kitchen to find something to eat.

Getting off the plane, I kept Jungkook close as we made our way to baggage claim. Being on the East Coast again was uncomfortable. I knew this airport like the back of my hand, knew every nook and cranny of these streets, but I still felt out of place. I was even more unsettled knowing there were people looking for me. 

Standing by the conveyor belt, we waited for my duffle bag to come out. Jungkook looked around, his scouting looking natural, and I kept my eyes on the bags. It came out a few minutes later, and I slung it over my shoulder. Jungkook wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him.

“They’re here,” He whispered, a soft smile on his face. Lips brushing the top of my head, he started walking and kept me close. “They don’t know me, so we’ll be fine.”

Forcing a smile on my face, I wrapped my arm around his waist. My heartbeat quickened, and I found myself enjoying the way his body pressed into mine. Allowing myself a small glance around us, I saw two familiar faces near the escalators. Dimitri and Anton. As we neared the escalators, I knew they would notice me unless I acted very differently than what they remembered. 

Deciding to commit to our charade, I lifted my head up towards Jungkook. Kissing his cheek, I was able to hide my face from the two men. Jungkook stepped onto the elevator first. Turning him to face me, I grabbed his face and pressed our lips together. He was soft, gentle, and tasted like the licorice he’d gotten on the plane. He wrapped his arms around my waist and melted into the kiss. Pulling away, head pressed against his, I looked at the steps. 

“We’re almost at the top,” I mumbled.

Jungkook nodded and slowly moved away from me. Angling his body towards the front, he kept an arm firmly around my waist as we got to the top. Sparing a single glance behind me, the two men were none the wiser. Smirking, I ran my hand up and down Jungkook’s back in silent praise. 

Walking further and further away from the others, Jungkook’s arm did not move. I stayed close to his side, happy to have someone to lean on. It made sense now. Jimin sent him because he was less known to the others. Ivan would know him, and the people closest to him, but someone like Anton would be blindsided by his presence. They were expecting one of my boys. Stepping into the sun, the two of us were quick to hail down a taxi and slip inside. 

“We’re running a bit late,” I announced, buckling in. “Can you take us to the Hood Milk Bottle?”

“No problem,” The cab driver replied.

It was barely a 10 minute drive, but airport traffic made it feel like forever. Jungkook and I did not talk. Our closeness from earlier was officially stopped, and I felt silly for missing his warmth. Looking at him out of the corner of my eye, I grew shy. Just moments ago, his arms were wrapped around me. Catching sight of the tiger lily on his elbow, I had to quickly look back out of the window.

God, he was fucking hot.

Pulling out my phone, I found a new message on it. 

Unknown: Eating a lobster roll outside

Rolling my eyes, I replied.

Y/N: Of course you are. Two minutes.

Unknown: Lunch on me

Flipping the phone closed, I shoved it back in my back pocket. Looking out of the window, I did feel nostalgic. It had been such a long time and yet things stayed the same. There were a few new shops where old ones used to be, but the places I remembered the most fondly were still around. The mixed feelings I had were beginning to weigh down on me. 

Pulling up, I smiled. Hood was such an iconic, fun place. Looking back at Jungkook, I was touched to see him paying the cabby. Saying goodbye, the two of us got out of the car. The duffle had been in my lap. Jungkook stared up at the giant milk bottle in awe.

“Jin said he'll buy us lunch.”

Jungkook smirked, “What do you recommend?”

Walking toward the snack stand, I shrugged my shoulders.

“I’m getting a lobster roll, but if you’re not into that, the soft serve is great.”

Walking around the side, I saw Jin sitting on one of the picnic benches eating. I was more surprised to see he was still enjoying his food than the purple hair. Jimin must have convinced him to do that. Whistling, I smirked at Jin and waved.

Jin was the oldest out of all of us, and spoke the least amount of English, but we were close. Standing, he offered me a hug which I happily accepted. Clearing my throat, I began speaking in Korean.

“You look nice,” I ruffled his hair. “This color looks really good on you.”

“Thanks,” He shoved my hand away. “Lobster roll? Thought you might have missed the New England taste.”

Nodded, I turned to Jungkook.

“What do you want?” I asked in English.

He shook his head at me, “Chocolate ice cream.”

When he spoke Korean, his voice was much deeper. Grinning at him, I looked back at Jin.

“One lobster roll and one chocolate soft serve.”

Going to order our food, Jin told us to sit and wait. Jungkook sat down next to me, his elbow on the table with his head resting on his fist. I was unsure of what to make of the look on his face. He seemed so… fond of me. No one had ever really looked at me like that before. I was used to anger, annoyance, or fear, but fondness was uncharted territory. The closest person I could think of had been Alexi, but even then he had always looked at me as a child. Jungkook did not.

“I didn’t know you spoke Korean,” He said, speaking the language.

“I know a lot of languages,” I replied. “I’m mostly fluent in English and Russian. My Korean is good, but I’m not fluent by any stretch of the imagination. I speak a decent amount of Spanish as well.”

“That’s so cool. Mine are Korean, Japanese, and English.”

Jin was back with our food. 

“Eat it in the car,” He said, “Everyone is waiting for us.”

“Is Park back in town?” Jungkook asked.

Jin shook his head, “Not yet. We haven’t heard from since yesterday.”

I knew we would talk more once we were out of the public eye. There was only so much we could say out here. Taking my roll, I followed Jin. Jungkook ate his ice cream happily, his eyes sparkling with joy. It was my turn to smile fondly. 

Pulling into a small driveway, I was confused. I did not recognize the house. Painted a calming sky blue with black shutters, a well-groomed lawn, and a small flower garden, it was unassuming and plain. Looking over at Jungkook, he seemed happy to be here. 

“Where are we?” I asked.

Jungkook smiled at me, “Yoongi’s.”

Taken aback, I froze. That had been the last person I had thought of. The last time I had seen everyone, Yoongi and Hoseok were living in a shitty condo in South End. While I was confused, and even unsettled, by the changes I was also pleased. It felt good to see Yoongi living more civilly. I wondered what had changed.

Hopping out of the Jeep, I met up with Jin and Jungkook at the hood before following behind them. The house was pristine and the small cul de sac was quiet. Eyes bulging out of my head, I fought back the urge to laugh out loud at the sight of a bird feeder on the edge of the lawn. 

Standing on the small porch, the three of us huddled close together. Jungkook gently moved my body in front of his, successfully shielding my body from the street. Leaning back slightly, I brushed my back against his chest quickly before straightening my back. I was beginning to lean into my growing attraction, but knew better than to take it any further than small touches. The airport had been for survival- nothing more. 

Jin knocked, the rhythm the only familiar thing about this place, before the door swung open. On the other side, a woman peered out at us. Her hair was short, wildly frizzy with unkempt curls, and bright red. Her eyes were brown and skin alabaster. The green dress she wore looked nice on her full figure. She smiled brightly at Jin, saying hello with joy. Her voice had hints of an accent but it was too faint for me to pick up.

“It’s nice to see you Johanna,” Jin greeted, kissing the woman’s cheek before gesturing towards me. “Johanna, Mouse. Mouse, Johanna.”

The red head gave me a polite smile before offering her hand.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mouse.”

“Y/N,” I corrected, glaring at Jin. “Y/N is fine outside of business.”

“This is business though, isn’t it?” Johanna tilted her head at me, a mischievous glint in her eye. I decided right away that I liked her. “Come in. Hello Kookie.”

“Hey Jo,” The man replied.

Stepping inside, I looked around. The inside was just as perfect as the outside. Brightly colored walls with pops of color scattered around, mostly in the art hanging on the walls, with plants everywhere. It smelled like apple cinnamon and Pinesol. The hardwood floors were loud as we walked along them. The size of the living room was bigger than my entire apartment. Catching sight of a collage of photos, I looked over them the best I could as I walked.

All of them were nice photos, family photos, but one caught my eye. Yoongi was smiling, a rare sight, and his eyes were shining brightly. He was on the beach, arms wrapped around Johanna tenderly, while she had a large bouquet of flowers in her hand. She wore a white dress that hit her just at the ankle, a long, thin veil clipped onto the back of her head. The Saints were there along with a few people I did not recognize. Belatedly, I realized that I was looking at a wedding picture. A wedding I had missed. A wedding I had never been invited to. A wedding I had never even knew. Eyes glued to the photo, I cause a glimpse of Jungkook in a far-off corner, almost completely cut out, but he had been there. 

I knew my hurt feelings were unjustified. I had been the one who told them to leave me out of their affairs. I had said emergencies only. Still, I found myself growing increasingly alienated. I truly had no place here anymore. The only purpose I had ever served was monetary gain. The friendships I had built along the way were as fickle as the ones I had in New York. 

Arguing with myself, I struggled to stay present. As we walked deeper into the house, the need to run presented itself all over again. Everything I had known was gone. Everyone was different. Everything was different. Sparing a glance over at Jungkook, a seed of resentment began to grow in my chest. 

No one had ever referred to me as affectionately as they had Jungkook. No one had ever seemed endeared by my failures. Hell, none of these guys even acknowledged my feelings half the time. Staring at the back of Johanna’s head, I found that I didn't really like her that much anymore. She was loved. I was tolerated.

Still, I told myself that they had come for me. They had wanted to keep me safe. And yet, the insecurities that had always lived in my head reared their ugly head and reminded me that it was for their own good. I was useful. As long as I would be of use to them, then I would be protected. It would never be the same reasons they would fight for Johanna. They would fight for her because they wanted to keep her safe.

I could feel eyes on me, but I ignored them. I did not want comfort from Jungkook. I just wanted to get this over with so I could go back to San Diego. Even if they were surface level, those friendships were still more loving than whatever the fuck I had here. I hated Boston. I hated New York. I hated the entire East Coast. 

“Y/N?” Johanna called out, looking back at me with concern. “Are you alright?”

Nodding, I replied. 

“I’m fine. Just lost in my head.”

I hated the edge my voice had taken on. I hated just how much I had to control myself around these people. I wanted to scream, shout, cry; whatever. I just wanted to feel myself lose control for a little while. The woman did not believe me but offered me a smile regardless. 

“I asked if you would like a drink.”

“Water’s fine,” I replied.

Jin seemed suspicious of me but said nothing at all. He had always known I liked my space. Still, I could tell he was worried. I knew my thoughts were out of line, I knew that I was over thinking and attempting to overcompensate, but it was impossible to stop it from happening. The downward spiral was difficult to manage. 

Suddenly, an arm was wrapped around my shoulder. Jumping, I whipped my head around to see Jungkook smiling at me. It was a goofy smile, one that he pulled when he was feeling playful, before he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“What happens when you get water on a table?” He asked.

Taken aback, I opened and closed my mouth several times.

“What?”

“It becomes a pool table.”

Mouth agape, I blinked in disbelief before shoving him away. I let out a small laugh and shook my head at him. Where in the world had that come from?

Seokjin was laughing, hands clapping, and praising the younger man for the joke. Jin was a big fan of dad jokes and enjoyed making them up whenever he could. Typically, you would have to know enough Korean for them to make sense, but they never failed to get a few chuckles out of me. The ridiculousness of the jokes coupled with the corny delivery was always funny. Johanna placed a glass in front of me smiling fondly at Jungkook.

“He’s a mess,” She said, looking at me in faux exasperation. “I don’t know how you survived the trip here. He talks too much.”

Shaking my head, I took a large sip of the water.

“It’s better than the awkward silence Yoongi brings along.”

She laughed, knocking her head back.

“Touche,” She giggled. “He is a bit intense sometimes.”

“You’ve been in Boston for an hour and you’re already turning my wife against me.”

The voice had come from behind me. Spinning around dumbly, I was face-to-face with Yoongi. The scar on his face was just as prominent as it had always been, taking up his entire left cheek into forehead, but his eyes seemed lighter than I remembered. He was skinnier than the last time I saw him, too. He was wearing a simple black shirt with a pair of jeans. He seemed completely at ease. 

“Hey kid,” He greeted Jungkook with a grin. “Heard Mouse got you good.”

Jungkook flushed, ducking his head while rubbing his neck.

“Oh?” Jin chimed, his voice mocking. “The great Sacarii taken down by a little mouse?”

Rolling my eyes, I sighed heavily.

“He didn’t even try anything,” I admitted. “I was the aggressive one.”

“He was just an idiot,” Jin teased.

Yoongi tsked, “Park was the bigger idiot of the two. He’s going to give me an aneurysm.”

“You’re too hard on him,” Johanna gently scolded. “You know Jimin has a roundabout way of being right.”

 Jungkook laughed, “A broken clock’s right twice a day.”

A silence fell over our group. It felt unnatural to be standing in a nice kitchen talking over mundane topics with everyone. It was a long ways away from the roach infested alleyways and closed off apartment complexes. I lived with Jin, Jimin, and Taehyung when I was in Boston. Our small one bedroom was always cluttered, overcrowded, and was the main spot for our meetups. The conference room had been stuffed between two twin-sized mattresses with a large, round table in the middle of it all. I slept on the pull-out sofa in the front. 

“I guess we should talk,” Yoongi said, looking me up and down. 

“I guess so,” I replied.

Walking over to him, I realized that no one else was following. Looking back at the other three, they simply looked back. Sighing, I let it go. Being alone with Yoongi was not an unwelcome thing, but it had always made me feel like I was in trouble. Laughing at myself, I followed the man out of the kitchen and into the dining room. This time I was the one who was in trouble. 

Walking out of the dining room, we were now in a small reading room with a staircase. A green, stand-up piano was tucked away between tall bookshelves and more plants. Following Yoongi upstairs, I refrained from looking too closely at things. The house was much bigger than it looked. Walking past a few doors, we stopped before Yoongi opened one. 

Gesturing me to follow, I smiled at the sight of the old table. It was far too large, held six chairs, and was cheaply made. Someone had refurbished it and I wondered if it had been Johanna. She seemed to like everything to be nice and neat. It was an aesthetically pleasing layout, but this room was all Yoongi. The dark colored walls and furniture were in stark contrast to the otherwise white house. Taking a seat at the table, I pulled out the chair directly across from him.

There was a line up of photos scattered on the desk along with a few letters. I recognized two of the women but the others were unfamiliar to me. Looking around, I scowled when I saw a picture of Ivan. I would be lying if I said he was physically unattractive. Ivan had always had this air around him and coupled with his angular features and blue eyes it was no wonder why women chased him. I knew him, however, and the slope of his cheekbones and the perfectly groomed dirty-blonde hair did nothing but repulse me. He looked everything like his brother. He looked nothing like his brother.

Picking the photo up, I looked closely. It was candid. Someone had been hiding when they took it since the man seemed to be unaware of the camera. He was smoking a cigarette and behind him was a beach. Trying to figure out where he could be was hard, but it was nowhere near New York. It was too sunny, the waves too high, and I could see a surfer in the background. 

“Johanna took that,” Yoongi suddenly said. “We were in California. It’s where we got married.”

Mind racing, I kept looking at the picture. Ivan had been close to me. Very close, in fact. Trying to figure out how I could have been traced, I thought of Kimberly and winced. It would take no time at all to figure out if it really was me. He could just send some random into the salon after seeing a post. I looked different but I was still me. He could have scouted out the place for months without me being any wiser. Closing my eyes, I dropped the photo.

“He’s known where you are for a while,” He continued. “He had asked Jungkook to take care of you a few weeks ago, but the kid refused. He knew your face. Ivan’s been trying to figure out the best plan of getting to you without pissing us off.”

“So he thought forcing me back to New York was the best option?” I spat.

Yoongi nodded, “In his mind, you’d be under his claim again so we’d have no authority. Either he’s crazy or stupid.”

“Both,” I replied. “Always both.”

“I’ve noticed.”

Eyes searching the pictures for more signs, I grew angry. 

“Why are you only just now telling me?” I demanded, picking apart each detail of the photographs. “I should have known from the very beginning.”

“I thought so, too,” Yoongi defended. “It was Jimin telling us to cool it. He thought he could get it under control since he’s known Ivan for so long. It didn’t work out and Jimin was kicked out of the family.”

“What?” I shouted.

Ivan was losing his damn mind. Jimin was the closest thing to Alexi those boy had after Ivan took over. They loved him, I loved him, and to watch him get kicked out over me would have been a massive blow to Ivan’s credibility. Loyalty was gone from New York it seemed, and it would only be a matter of time before Ivan came to the same conclusion. They don’t make them like Jimin anymore. He was only trying to keep the peace. Thinking of my friend, I willed back my tears. He had wanted me to stay in California. He didn’t want me to come back.

“They’re not doing well,” Yoongi admitted. “Georgie Boy and I talked and he’s with us regardless. The Italians haven’t been appreciating Ivan’s ways either. Hoseok spoke with the Gambinos and they said they’ll light up the Russians if they get into their territory again.”

“Again?”

Yoongi smiled without humor.

“Ivan’s boys were selling in the Gambino’s turf. Didn’t end well for them. They aren’t going to tolerate that shit again, and the other families are on the lookout as well. Have to say, the boy has lost his fucking mind.”

Going over the information, I felt more confident than I had before. Ivan was hoping to get me back into his arms first. Then he’d kill me. Or keep me. It was impossible to know for sure. Either way, he had a rude awakening if he thought my boys were going to let it happen without consequences. Thinking back to my thoughts when I first came inside, I reminded myself that we were connected. I meant more to them than property. They weren’t Ivan. 

They weren’t Alexei either.

Shoving that thought down, I refocused on the photo of Ivan. He looked worse than I had last seen him. His age was beginning to show, and I sneered at the sight of the family tattoo. I had been claimed by many groups in my life. The tiger for my family, the slope-edged star on my collar bone for Alexei, the clerk on my ribs for my skill with a blade, and St. Anthony for The Saints. Ivan’s name had been cut into my skin by the man himself after I killed a rival without permission. The scars were faded now, but I never liked to show my stomach anymore. You could still see the carving and I would always know they were there. 

 Eyes zeroing in on Ivan’s calf, I saw red as I caught sight of the dagger entwined by a snake. It was in the same spot as mine. They all represented something. 

The star was commonplace for all Russians while my clerk was far more specialized. I got it after I helped Alexei take care of a snitch. I hated thinking about that night, but it earned me my stripes. I got my dagger a few months later. The dagger was rare, only given out to a leader of a “suit” of thieves. Alexi had promoted me, and I controlled my own section of New York alongside him. Ivan did not deserve that tattoo even if he was the boss.

“Can I ask you something?” Yoongi said.

I nodded.

“Why would he want you back so badly? He hates you.”

I smiled ruefully, looking up from the picture. 

“I’m Alexei’s girl and he finds great pleasure in keeping me around just to spite him. Even if he’s dead, it’ll never be enough. Breaking me down was always the goal.”

“Were you and Alexei…”

Yoongi did not need to finish the sentence. It was a fair question and one that everyone asked at some point. The Saints never liked picking into my past too much. They knew it had been rough, they knew what Ivan and I’s relationship was like, so they put it to rest. Yoongi had seen my stomach once, said he was going to kill him one day, and never brought it up again. Latching onto the memory, I further reinforced that they cared for me. This was not a dangerous place. These are my friends.

“No, Alexei would never. I was only 13 when we met. He was 19. We were like siblings more than anything. More than he and Ivan ever were.”

“Ivan was jealous?” I nodded. “Typical.”

“He’s the one who killed him, you know,” I leaned back in the chair. “I was there that night. That’s why Ivan hates me. I know too much.”

Yoongi shook his head in disbelief. It was a completely different world than he was used to. The Irish took care of their own. While it may have involved violence and punishments being handed out from time to time, there had always been unwavering loyalty to one another. For Hoseok it was the same. Snitches were snitches but you always had people you knew were on your corner. When Ivan saw an in he took it, even if it meant killing his older brother, and everyone suffered for it. I had not said anything out of the code of ethics we built, but that never stopped word from spreading. Everyone knew Ivan killed Alexei but no one could prove it.

Yoongi sucked his teeth, “They know you came home. Jimin let us know about that. He and Kai have been all over this shit.”

I hummed, “They had a couple guys at the airport. Jungkook and I got past them easily, though.”

Yoongi looked at me strangely now. It was in between concern and pride, but I figured it was the closest thing to friendly I would get from him. It was not his fault his face looked the way it did. Wanting to lighten the mood, I decided to ask him about his wife.

“So, who’s Johanna?”

Yoongi actually cracked a smile.

“She’s a nuclear engineer. Works at BU and moved to America seven years ago.”

“How’d that even happen?”

Yoongi shrugged, “I don’t even know. We met at a restaurant Georgie took me to. She was there with some friends. We bumped into one another and she gave me her number. I didn’t call but we ran into each other again at a bar. Stuck like glue ever since.”

Gently smiling I replied, “Sounds nice. I’m glad you found someone.”

Yoongi looked down bashfully. He was like an entirely new person now. Yoongi had never been one to show emotions outside of anger and annoyance. Even with us he had been a hardass. It was strange but nice at the same time. I liked it more than the robot I was used to.

“She’s a good person,” He whispered, suddenly serious. “Sometimes I wonder if I should have left her alone. She deserves better than a life of crime and being entangled in my bullshit.”

I understood where he was coming from.

“You could always leave. Runaway to Iceland and never look back.”

Yoongi grinned, “I thought about it but I don’t have any skills outside of this. What would I do? Unlike you, some of us have never thought past our horizons. Besides, I have other people to think about.”

I also understood that as well. I had been afraid of change for a long time, and I had known I wanted it for a while. I was unsure how long they had known one another, or had been together, but Yoongi had always said he’d die in Boston. I doubted he thought that way now. 

“It’s okay to be selfish,” I mumbled. “Things haven’t been easy and there were times when I missed the craziness, but I can say it’s an experience everyone should have. I love both of my lives, but I’d be lying if I said I’d choose this over California.”

Yoongi nodded in thought. We would drop this conversation and likely never pick it back up again, so I knew I should say my peace now. Whatever he decided to do would ultimately be on his shoulders, but I thought it would be okay to push him to follow his heart’s desires. I was a dreamer and I hoped the others would find a dream to hold onto as well.

Walking downstairs, I was tired. The traveling had finally caught up to me and I wanted to get some rest while I could. Walking into the kitchen, the three of them were still talking. Johanna had started to cook something. It smelled nice but my stomach churned at the thought of food. Making my presence known, I yawned loudly and stretched my arms above my head.

“Sleepy?” Jungkook asked, completely at ease. 

He looked right at home here. Briefly I wondered if he stayed here often enough for that to be the case. Yoongi hated other people in his space, but he had changed since I last saw him. Jungkook, however, did not seem like someone who would like living with other people. He was mostly quiet, sweet, but standoffish at times. Jin grinned at me.

“Sorry to say I’m full,” The older man took a sip from a glass. I could not tell what it was and did not care to know. I rubbed my eyes dramatically and yawned again. “Jimin and I are rooming together. I doubt you want to take the sofa. Let’s just say I’ve been taking advantage of his absence.”

“I’ll take what I can get at this point,” I replied with another yawn. Shaking my head, I groaned. “God, I hate it when that happens.”

“Jungkook can keep you,” Johanna offered. “I’d let you stay here but my niece is spending the weekend. I don’t want to put her in a bad position.”

I knew what she meant. I would not want to put a child in the middle of this bullshit either. Looking over at Jungkook, I raised my eyebrow in silent questioning. He nodded back at me with a grin. I smiled back at him.

“We should go while we have daylight,” Jungkook said, a pair of keys in his hands.

I had no idea where they had come from.

“I can wait,” I protested. “You should eat first.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes.

“I’ll be fine. You haven’t slept since yesterday.”

“Y/N!” Jin scolded.

I non committedly waved him off. Scrunching my face up at Jin, I mumbled something close to ‘leave me alone,’ but I was doubtful it came out properly. Fighting to keep my eyes open, I leaned into Jungkook’s side as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder. Guiding me away from the kitchen, I knew I heard Jin make a comment about how close we were.

“You’re just jealous she likes me more than you,” Jungkook snapped back.

“Does not,” Jin replied, childishly whining.

Johanna laughed and I could hear Yoongi coming down the stairs. Jungkook lead me back into the reading room and turned left. Going down two steps we were in front of a door.

“Be safe!” Johanna called out.

“Always, noona,” Jungkook replied.

Leading me to the room, I realized we were in a garage. I was again surprised. There were two cars, both of them very nice and sleek, surrounded by expensive tools and equipment. Back in the day, I would have swiped everything in this room and stole one of the cars. Now, I was being led toward the black Marcedes on the farthest side of the room. 

“This one’s mine,” Jungkook said, attempting to fill the space.

“First one we haven’t stolen,” I joked.

Sliding into the passenger seat, I melted into the seat before Jungkook was in the vehicle. Opening the glovebox, I moved my legs out of the way as the man dug around the compartment. Finally he pulled a smartphone out and quickly turned it on. A few minutes later, the garage door was opening and we were pulling out of the large driveway. We passed Jin’s Jeep on the way out and Jungkook could not help but make a snide comment about the ugly car. I felt comfortable enough to try and fall asleep.

“You know,” Jungkook announced, making my eyes snap open. “You’re the coolest person I’ve ever worked with.”

I chuckled, my drowsiness making it difficult to focus. 

“Thanks. You’re not that bad.”

“I’ve been useless for the entire trip,” Jungkook argued. “You stole the cars, got me clothes, made sure we were able to get flights without getting into some shit for it, and you always tried to make me feel more comfortable.”

Snorting, I looked over at the man.

“I shot you.”

Jungkook burst out laughing.

“I broke into your house.”

“Eye for an eye,” I offered, laughing.

Jungkook spared me a look in order to flash one of his blinding smiles. I noticed now that his front teeth were slightly bigger than they should be. 

“Really,” Jungkook was serious again. “I feel bad for being dead weight. I’ll make it up to you, though. I’m not really known for stealing cars or running off into the night, but I know how to kill someone.”

Looking at me again, Jungkook’s boyish smile and light eyes were on. In their place were hard lines, a slightly down-turned pout, and a coldness that surrounded him I was unaccustomed to. While earnest, his expression felt wrong. Jungkook was sunshine and this felt like an eclipse.

“No one is going to touch you. I’ll cut their fucking hands off finger-by-finger if need be to get my point across.”

“Why would you do that?” I asked, confused.

We did not know one another. Hell, I shot this fucking guy. And yet here he was devoting his life to keeping me safe. It was crazy. Then again, this life was like that. Putting myself in Jungkook’s shoes, I thought about it the other way around. Would I kill for him?

“Because you’re my friend,” He answered without hesitation. “You’re my friend and I would like to get to know you better.”

Yes, I thought, I would kill for this kid.

Humming, I decided against saying anything else. I was far too tired for this conversation. Letting my body win, I closed my eyes and leaned against the car window. I fell asleep quickly, but I found no peace. Ivan’s face flashed through my mind, his eyes alight with anger, and my blood was all over his hands. My screams echoed in the background. He placed his knife against my skin again and drew a “V” right next to the “I.”

Eleven years ago

Standing beside Hoseok, I stared up at the apartment complex wearily. It was small, bricked, and disgusting. I could smell trash and smoke everywhere and people were yelling. I did not like it here. Not at all.

Looking over at the older boy, I made sure to show him my discontent. I could admit that South End was nicer than my old place in Brooklyn, but only for the quieter atmosphere. Everything else was just as nasty. Hoseok shoved me forward and scolded me for acting like a “freak.”

“People are going to know you’re new,” Hoseok complained. “Then  I’m going to have to break their fucking head open for stepping out of line. Then Yoongi is going to dislike you. So, just fucking walk and keep your head down.”

Anger flaring, I stopped. Hoseok bumped into my back. Groaning loudly, he went to yell at me again. Scowling, I elbowed him in the stomach harshly. When he groaned and grabbed his stomach, I turned around and punched him in the face. While he barely moved, eating the hit easily, it seemed to get the message across.

“Don’t talk to me like that, bitch,” I seethed. “You’re not my dad.”

Waiting for Hoseok to hit me back, I stood there with my fists balled up. He looked at me intensely, his hands still clutching his stomach. His eyes went from my face to the small patch of exposed skin on my stomach. Knowing exactly what he was looking at, I pulled down the too-short shirt and yelled at him again to hit me.

Instead of violence, Hoseok simply took up straight. Breathing through his nostrils, he seemed to be calming himself down. I could see the start of a blackeye forming where I had hit him. My regret began eating away at me instantly, but I refused to back down. He deserved that hit. He needed to know I was not going to be his little plaything. 

Hoseok just continued to walk, telling me to follow, and I could tell he was trying to be nicer this time around. Confused and more uneasy than before, I kept my hands ready for a fight. I was not sure when this nice-guy act would stop.

Being shaken awake, I realized we were at Jungkook’s. Glancing at the time, I was shocked we had driven almost two hours. We were parked in a small lot with a large brick building to the right. Jungkook turned the car off and got out. Quickly following him, I wondered where we were.

It was a nice place. They looked like townhomes and I could smell someone barbecuing. Jungkook looked back at me, a few paces ahead, and continued to walk around to the front. Every house had large bushes in the front yards. Hydrangeas grew vibrantly along the walkway with spaces to make way for the entryway to homes. Jungkook turned and I followed.

The front was identical to the others. The only difference I could see was Jungkook’s ‘no shoes’ sign right out front. Rubbing my eyes, I continued to wake up and get the crust off of my skin.

“It’s small,” Jungkook suddenly said, “But it’s nice.”

“Where are we?” I asked, stepping into the house and kicking off my shoes.

“Chatham,” He replied, shrugging his jacket off. “It’s out of the way but I like the beach.”

The first thing I noticed was the large, beige sectional in the living room. On the wall was a large television above a faux fireplace. The entire house smelled like wood polish and oranges. I liked the carpeted floors and was pleasantly surprised by how clean everything was. There were no photos or personalized art hanging on the walls, but I guessed Jungkook never really liked those sorts of things. He was personable but in the moment. Jimin was a photo monster.

Thinking of my friend, I hoped he was alright. It was unlike him to go full radio silent. At the very least he would have called and checked in. Perhaps he had and no one bothered to tell me. Catching a glimpse of myself in the large, gold framed mirror hanging above the dining table, I flinched. 

I looked just as bad as I had begun to feel. I was tired, my eyes puffy, and I was embarrassed by the drool dried at the corner of my lip. My shoulder was stiff and uncomfortable from sleeping in the car and my clothes looked a mess. Jungkook had my duffle bag on his shoulder and I belatedly realized I have never even thought to grab it. I had not even brought it inside.

“Thank you,” I said.

Jungkook smiled at me. 

“It’s no problem. The room’s not being used anyway.”

“No,” I shook my head and walked up to him. Carefully taking the bag, I slug it over my shoulder with a knowing look. “Thanks for grabbing my shit. And for the room. I appreciate it.”

Jungkook scratched the back of his neck and turned red. He was not good with compliments no matter how much he seemed to enjoy them.

“Friends, right?”

I nodded, “Yeah.”

Walking past him, I distracted myself from my racing heart by figuring out where his washing machine was.

After taking a shower, I tip-toed my way back to the room Jungkook had given me. I had been on edge since I got here. He was kind, caring, and attentive. I had never really seen someone show all three at the same time, and never toward me. My friends and I were subtle types, so to have someone so open and honest with their feelings was a hard pill to swallow. In California it was safe, in California it was expected, in California it was sacred; in Boston it was nerve wracking.

I could never be sure of how genuine Jungkook really was. When I was in his presence, it was easy to say that he was just that simple. Once I got alone it took all of me not to sneak out of a window and run. Hoseok had always said I needed to work on trusting people, so I would try.

I knew my behavior was only heightened by my attraction to him. Attractive people were the worst. Liking Jungkook would not do any favors for either one of us. I would get swallowed up by the life I so desperately wanted to leave, and Jungkook would be stuck in an awkward situation with the rest of the crew if it came to the light. No one would win and the outcome would be the same if I said anything or not. I was leaving Boston as soon as the situation was handled.

Luck was not on my side. As I turned the corner to reach the door of my bedroom, Jungkook was coming up the stairs. Carrying two cups, he flashed me a small smile and walked the rest of the way up. I froze in my spot. Caught red handed, I tried to play off my unsuccessful sneaking and took the cup with a smile. Jungkook did not seem to buy it but looked more amused than anything.

“What’s this?” I asked, smelling it.

“Cocoa,” He replied. “It’s not winter but still chilly.”

I nodded and took a generous sip. It was warm and silky. Humming in satisfaction, I took another sip and licked my top lip. Cocoa was one of my favorite things when I was a child. It was one of the few fond memories I had. Jungkook looked happy.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” He asked. “To get your mind off things?”

It was funny that he thought Ivan was what had been plaguing my mind. I may not be a very violent person now, but there was a time I was ruthless. The Russians did not scare me as much as they once had either. My initial response had been mostly shock, anger, and most of all, frustration. I had not been scared in a very long time. I doubted I ever would be.

“Sure,” I said, keeping my thoughts out of the conversation. What Jungkook did not know will not hurt him. He was only trying to help. “I’m not picky.”

Going down the stairs, I felt the same nervous butterflies growing in my stomach again. We were going to be closer than I would like to be. I was afraid of what that might do to the both of us. I did not know where Jungkook’s head was, but I was not foolish enough to believe that I was immune to any advances. The ball would stay in his court. I had enough self control to let that be a rule.

Sitting on the couch, I curled up on the end and waited. Netflix was already pulled up and waiting. Jungkook sat two cushions away. Picking up the remote from the coffee table, he began scrolling as we talked about possible movies to watch. We ended up on a random Jason Statham film. I watched mindlessly since every one of his movies were practically the same.

“Are you hungry?” Jungkook asked me fifteen minutes in, clearly bored and disinterested in the action sequence. I could not blame him. There was no way anyone could use a gun like that in real life, and I was becoming annoyed by the plot armor. “I have ramen.”

I nodded, “That’s fine.”

Moving to stand up, Jungkook waved me off and went to the kitchen himself. Not arguing, I got more comfortable and zoned out once more. It was hard not to feel the pull towards him. All I kept thinking about was the way his lips felt at the airport. Refocusing on the movie, I rolled my eyes at the bomb scene. There was no way in hell you were getting up and walking away from something that big.

Of course, Jason Statham had done just that. 

Jungkook came back a few minutes later, two large cups of ramen in hand, and sat down at the sofa. We ate in silence, neither one of us interrupting the bad movie again. When I went up to bed I could only think about how his hands would feel on me.

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