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rafesslxt · 8 months ago

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neglected | mattheo riddle

summary: Theodore completly ignores you and doesnt take it serious that you miss him while he flirts with another girl at a party.. so his best friend has to help you filling up that hole inside your … chest.

warning: cheating? but is it if he does it first?, mattheo eating out the reader, fingering, nipple play, teasing, dirty talk, getting caught, he‘s a munch don‘t fight with me over this -

note: i do not support cheating, this is just for the story

— monday —

I don‘t know how many times I already begged but from time to time.. i felt more and more neglected.

"Theo, please just this one weekend! You had been busy with your friends and studying the last 3 weeks!" Yeah, 3 weeks since my boyfriend went on a date with me, had some quality time or touched me.

"Y/n I told you I don‘t have time. I already promised the boys I‘d come to the party. We‘ll see us there, I have to go study now, with Lydia." Before I could even say a word he left his dorm. I hear a chuckle coming from the other side of the room, making me turn my head in it’s direction.

"Told you you deserve better baby." Mattheo, Theodore‘s best friend said, sitting on his bed. They share a dorm and every now and then he would see Theo and me arguing.

I huff and leave the room, a aching feeling in my body.

— the next day —

"Theo please, I need you. You didn‘t touch me once the last few weeks." I whine into his ear, sitting next to him. He just groans, but not the way I want him to and gets up with his book in his hands. "Don‘t you see that you‘re distracting me?" Irritated he leaves the room, probably walking off to the library again.

Ugh.. i let myself fall back down onto the mattress and cross my arms over my face. Is it my fault? Did my body change somehow? Why the hell won‘t he touch me? But before I could continue my thoughts, I hear the door again, my head shooting up, hoping it is Theo who changed his mind but no, it‘s Mattheo. I groan frustrated and let my head fall back.

"Wow nice to see you too baby, but I think you‘re laying on the wrong bed." he says, teasing me.

"Sometimes I think like that too." I mumble into my arms and more to myself.

"What was that?" he asks. "Nothing."

— two days later —

Patiently I wait on Theo‘s bed, dressed all up.. or down, in his favorite lingerie set and a pair of black knee socks. When we got together half a year ago he told me he loved them on me, made my legs look even longer.

As the door opens my heart starts beating faster and I look up, shrieking and pulling the blanket over my body as I see who it is. "Damn mami is that for me?" Mattheo asks as he stand in front of Theo‘s bed with a smirk on his face, his mouth wide open.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I asked furious, not wanting him to see me like that. What If Theo comes in and would see us, what would he think?

"Last time I checked this is my room, sweetcheeks." "But you‘re supposed to have quidditch practice!" I whine and look for my clothes.

He chuckles and steps a bit closer as I stand up from the bed. "Could you turn around? I wanna get dressed." "No." "You are such a pain in the ass!" I roll my eyes at him and take my wand, mumbling "Colloportus“. and holding it towards the door so no one can come inside.

I let go of the blanket, thinking fuck it, and grab my skirt, pulling it over my legs and then my hips. "Did your cute little boyfriend leave you unsatisfied again?" he grins and takes a step closer. "You know.. I could help you with that." he says in a suggestive tone. "He’s your best friend Mattheo, stop this shit." "I can’t princess. Hurts me to see that pretty little body of yours, knowing how desperate it must be after all these weeks." he whispers the last part as he lets his fingers slowly brush over my arm, sending shivers down my spine. "See? It’s so hot for just a little attention." "No, it is cold, thats why." I say, swallowing down the clump in my throat as i nod towards the opened window.

Just as I wanted to reach down for my top, I see Mattheo getting down on his knees in front of me. He looks up and licks his lips. Damn.. something about a men on his knees for me made me feel slme type of way.

"Please let me touch your legs, please. Need to know how soft these pretty thighs feel." I could feel his warm breath against my skin, again, sending shivers down my… spine. wet pussy

"Mattheo get the fuck up I swear to god!" i hiss at him. Yes I closed the door with a spell but it wasn‘t really hard for everyone above first years to open it with a spell.

"Please, I swear If you let me just touch it I‘m gonna leave you alone for the rest of the week!" he pleads, looking at my face and then my legs. I sigh as I think about letting him. Damn was I really thinking about it? Am I really going to let my boyfriends best friend touch my thighs?

But I mean.. nothing’s wrong If I don‘t feel anything for it, right? Plus he would just leave me alone for a bit. "Fine." I press out.

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I feel his big warm hands on my thighs. "Shit.." he mumbles as he lets them wander up and down my legs. He slighty squeezes them, making me sigh in relief.

I feel his curls against my skin before I can look down and see him kissing my flesh, grabbing it with a bit more strengh now. I had to bite my bottom lip as he starts massaging them. Completly lost in thoughts, I realize too late what he was doing.

Suddenly he stands up and kisses my cheek "Thank you, doll.", before leaving the dorm and leaving me breathless in the middle of the room. As I slowly come back from the dizzy feeling inside my head I again, stretch over to get my top but gasp with shaky breathing as I see what Mattheo left on my skin.

A hickey. And a bite mark. I didn‘t even notice him biting my leg. Shit.

— Saturday —

To say i was pissed, while sitting on a chair in some corner of the common room, was a big understatement. Theodore and I arrived at the party he talked about a few days ago.. 2hours ago. I saw him drinking with his friends and playing truth or dare in a little group, always walking away from me as soon as I approached him. So I decided to stop chasing him.

"What are you doing here all alone sweetcheeks?" I look to my right and see Mattheo. Of course it was him. "Leave me alone." I say, rolling my eyes and looking back to my boyfriend, sitting beside this girl named Lydia. She was a year under us I think.

Mattheo followed my gaze and shakes his head. "Well , the deal was I would leave you alone till end of the week. The week is over." I don‘t even answer him, not in the mood to argue.

"Yeah thanks for the hickey and the mark between." i say sarcastically. "Yeah it‘s not like your boyfriend would see, right?"

I roll my eyes again and look back at Theodore, to see him standing up. What was he going to do? Suddenly I see him taking Lydia‘s hand, pulling her up with him and kissing her. In shock I opened my mouth, but instead of crying like i normally would, my face got red in anger.

I tried everything and here he stands sucking of the face of that stupid thot. In the middle of the common room? With the girl he "studys" all the time? I bet that’s not the first time they kiss. Mattheo seems to see it too and looks at me more serious now. "Hey.. are you okay? I mean he‘s not worth it If you - " but before he can continue I grab him at the collor of his shirt and drag him with me to his dorm.

— 30 minutes later —

"Oh fuck yes, Mattheo!" I moan into the air, pushing his head against me while his lips suck on my clit, his fingers pumping inside me. "Shit who would have known that you go this feral for my tounge huh?" he smiles and mumbles against my skin.

"Stop talking and continue!" I whine and push his head back. I hear him chuckle before he laps at my throbbing clit again. God If I would have known how good this feels I would have had ended things with Theo way sooner.

His free hand slides across my body up to my left boob where he started to tease my nipple. I gasp and push my hips up, arching my back. My body was so sensitive I wanted to cry out of pleasure everytime he touched me somewhere.

It didn‘t took me long before my body starts trembling and shaking, Mattheo licking everything up as I come on his tounge.

"I could get drunk on your pussy." he groans before kissing me, making me taste myself on his lips.

"I hope you‘re ready cause that pussy screams for me." he whispers against my lips before going down on me again.

A few minutes in I hear someone yell. "WHAT THE FUCK?"

My head shot up and I looked to the door where Theo stood, looking ag us with an angry face.

I saw Mattheo looking at him over his shoulder, smiling at him with glistening lips. "Hey men, hope you don‘t mind? We got the impression you were busy.. never mind – bro how could you not eat that pussy like.. all day?"

"I‘m gonna kill you, Riddle!"

shorter than usual but I liked it 🌼

thanks for reading and supporting 🫶🏻

xoxo sarah <3

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siddyyyyyyyy · 3 months ago

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University Romance

Johnny 'Soap' McTavish x fem!Reader

part four; three, two, one

!MDNI!

wc: 2.1 K

summary: You and Johnny are two professors at a university, and he often catches you working late in your office. Also, you're just really good friends and there's probably more to it.

warnings: 'crazy' chemistry professor Soap, no y/n used, Johnny and Reader are about the same age, hickeys, oral (fem receiving)

a/n: welcome to the final part of it! decided to spoil you guys a little bit with smut, I'm tired from their constant pining, so here you go. Enjoy!

The restaurant looked actually really cosy from the outside as you‘re waiting for Johnny to arrive. After not even a minute, he shows up and looks absolutely handsome. You don‘t remember the last time you‘ve seen him in more formal clothing, the formal yet casual attire brings out his well-sculpted muscles. Trying not to stare, you pretend to check your phone for any messages before he is right in front of you, tapping your shoulder with a small smile.

»You there? Please don‘t tell me you‘re gonna spend the entire time looking at your phone. You‘re gonna miss out on the view.«

What is he doing to you? Is this on purpose? Is he still standing in front of you? Judging from the way his subtle cologne still wavers in the air, he is still standing right in front of you. With a small sigh to ease your nerves, you put your phone away into your purse, mustering your eyes at him.

»Relax, I‘m not missing out on our hangout.« You answer back with a small smile and notice his expression falter for a moment at your words. He recovers quick though, and you both get inside the new restaurant, being greeted by dim lights that create a warm and cosy atmosphere around. The waiter leads you both to a table for two in a far corner, glad you can have some sort of privacy in that corner.

You were about to sit down when he gets behind you, pulling the chair out for you, doing the overly cheesy gentleman move. It forces a small chuckle out of you, trying to tell him that you can do this yourself, but he doesn‘t care. You really try not to think too much about it and just see it as a friendly way of messing with each other, but he seems completely serious about it.

Okay, you are confused. He is claiming he will pay for everything tonight, so don‘t bother taking your purse out at all. What is this about? Did he do something and is trying to cover it up by being so sweet? There‘s no way, he is doing too much.

»Sorry, did I miss something? What is this all about?«

You finally manage to ask during the dinner, the food on the table being the only thing actually calming your nerves and making it seem like a normal hangout to you.

»What? Nothing, what do you mean? I‘m just treating you tonight.«

Obviously, you don‘t buy it and tilt your head at him, making him purse his lips almost sheepishly.

»Okay, be honest, Johnny. You‘re being too sweet right now.«

Your table falls into a brief moment of silence; the background noises from the other guests eating and talking fill the silence softly.

»I‘m.. I am bad at this, but I actually tried to ask you out. Back then, at your dad after the grill. This was supposed to be a date, but I guess I didn‘t express myself correctly.«

Processing his words is difficult. He tried to ask you out, and you were too stupid to realise. This is your love life, wow. It could also very well be a very bad romcom. It‘s humiliating, really.

»We don‘t need to pretend this is a date though, I probably overstepped with being… so overbearing.«

»No! No, don‘t apologise, I should be the one to apologise. Actually, now that I think about it, I missed so many signs...«

Johnny‘s heart beats probably faster than a racing car drives as he listens to you, trying to focus on the words you say instead of focussing on how gorgeous you look in the dim light right now. Finally, he snaps back and tries to reassure you, a sheepish and dorky smile threatening to form on his face.

»It‘s totally fine, I‘m a patient man after all.« His audacity to throw a little tease into this is unmatched. But it helps to ease the tension and bring a small smile onto your face, looking down to your lap for a moment.

»So, this was a date all along?«

He nods slowly at your question, watching your reaction closely as he does so. You‘re not sure who is more nervous at the moment, feeling like a high school couple right now.

»Well, if you‘re not comfortable- «

»No, no, I‘m okay with that! Promise.«

Johnny smile brightens, and for a moment, he is unsure of what to do or say next. The silence doesn‘t last long though, as you get to talk more freely with each other once it‘s settled, feeling butterlies across your whole body the entire time. It‘s such a nice feeling to know someone you certainly cherish and care for feels the same about you and probably even more. The rest of the dinner is spent with more loving looks and soft gazes, lingering touches on each other‘s hands over the table, resulting in following him back to his home.

----

Big hands cup your thighs, lifting you up and carrying you to his bedroom, not wasting any time on exploring your soft lips with his own. He doesn‘t care that he is being a little messy with you, it feels perfect and right to be with you like this. With a soft thud, you land on the cushions of his bed, enveloping you in the faint scent of his cologne and the distinct smell of the musky but inviting smell of him. It‘s enough to get you going even more, wrapping your arms tighter around his neck to keep him as close as possible while making out. Your lips move against the other in a rather frantic rhythm, subtle sounds of lips smacking echoing in the dark room.

With a small sigh, he breaks the kiss and trails his lips down your throat; leaving hot, open-mouthed kisses on your delicate skin. You loose your grip around his neck, trailing your hands down his arms, all the way to his shoulder blades. It leaves goosebumps and electrifying shockwaves through him, resulting in him groaning lowly against your neck. That, however, only caused for you to shiver lightly and attempt not to hum back in response.

His kisses trail down to your collabones, gently gracing his teeth against the sensitive skin before tugging at your collar and works on unbuttoning your shirt. Of course you let him, helping him with the process, starting to get impatient and wanting more from him. His touch is addicting, his scent is intoxicating and the way he feels against your body… you can‘t get enough.

Soon, you are both almost fully exposed, Johnny hovering over you again, and trying to keep at least a little of his sanity under control.

»Tell me, how bad do you want me?«

»Johnny, not now...« You sigh out, hands trailing up his well-built chest, sounding way more needy than you wanted to be.

»Impatient, hm? Just tell me you need me. Please.« He also sounds more desperate than you‘ve ever heard him speak, especially to you. What he demands only makes your cheeks grow even more rosy, putting on a darker tint of pink across your face. Thankfully the room is fairly dark, even though you wish you could see more of him.

»Need you, Johnny...now.«

It seems like he crumbles at your words, resting his forehead against your shoulder before he collects himself and moves down your body.

»Fuck, always wanted to hear tha‘ from you.« He mutters as he traces his hands down your bare sides, settling down between your legs and gently pries them apart. You lean up on your elbows to watch, feeling another rush of adrenaline at him being right in between your legs, feeling his hot breath against your legs and aching core.

His fingers tease at the seam of your panties, eyes focused on your whole form. The material of your panties are more than soaked after all the making out and hot touches across your body, not sure how long you will last with him like this.

Your thighs are being pushed back with his hands after discarding your last piece of clothing, laying down flat on your back for him. He wants as much access as possible on you, humming lowly at the sight of your dripping cunt. A sharp gasp leaves you as soon as his tongue meets the sweet and messy bundle of nerves, bucking your hips into him without meaning to. More gasps and pants leave you as he gets more intense, his tongue pushing and putting more pressure against you, making you a breathless mess underneath him. You grip tightly onto his sheets, thighs trembling around his head.

He seems like a madman, thirsty for any amount of slick he can slurp from you, the sounds becoming more obscene and embarrassing for you. Johnny doesn‘t mind one bit, in fact he seems to be enjoying this more than you. Finally getting to taste you, smell you, please you as he dreamed of.

His big hands tighten their grip around your thighs, making sure you don‘t clamp your legs around his head and suffocate him. Even when he would be more than happy to die that way…

It feels like you are growing closer to edge, moans getting high-pitched while one hand finds his head, urging him to keep going.

Johnny groans against you, nose nudging against your clit as his tongue works on you and brings you over the edge. With a final thrust of his tongue, you gasp and clamp around nothing, your grip around the sheets being even stronger than before. You become a babbling mess, thanking him and saying something about feeling good while you bask in the shockwaves of the climax, moaning and shaking under him.

Johnny lets you ride out your high on his tongue, probably as satisfied as you, if not more. He cleans up any cum that drips from you, making sure there is nothing left, even when he still wants to lap at you even then.

»You okay?« He asks more softly and massages your thighs gently, watching your fucked out expression as come down from your high. You can‘t respond verbally, but you give him a thumbs up, receiving an amused snort from him. He moves off from between your legs and settles on the bed beside you, brushing out some hair sticking to your forehead.

Once he lays down beside you, you realise that only you received pleasure. You want to make him feel good too.

»We can… go on. If you want.« Johnny snaps out of his stare, his hand still resting by your stomach as he traces small circles into it.

»No need to. I don‘t have any protection with me anyway.«

You‘re not sure why, but you feel slightly disappointed at his words. But that he is responsible enough and neglects his own pleasure for both of your safety is enough to warm your heart again in a strange way.

You end up falling asleep after he cleans the mess up from between your legs, cuddling up in each other‘s arms, under the comfort of his blanket. And that was probably the best sleep you‘ve ever had, safe in his warm embrace after he took such good care of you.

----

The next morning, you wake up to Johnny sleeping over your whole body, legs entangled with yours, and arms trapping you underneath him. You trail your hands up and down his back, nails lightly scratching against his bare skin, which causes him to stirr lightly.

After some longer moments, he seems to finally wake up and shift on top of you to get comfortable again.

»You are heavy.« You mumble out from underneath him, making him let out a groggy groan as he rolls off you but keeps his arm over your middle. The room is quiet again, save for the slow and gentle breathing from both of you.

»What time is it?« Johnny huffs out as you crawl over him to his nightstand, taking a look at the digital clock on it.

9:53 AM

No way. You overslept. Both, for that matter.

»John- Johnny, c‘mon, we need to get ready.«

You urge hushed, shaking his shoulder with your hand as you sit up beside him. He doesn‘t move as much though and only grumbles something under his breath before he searches his hand for you. He manages to grip your thigh gently, squeezing softly in a lazy attempt to calm you.

»Relax… no one cares anyway, and you never missed a day before.«

He mumbles softly, still laying on his stomach, but eyes on you. ----

Redcrest High University, Monday 9:53 AM

»Seems like those two won‘t appear today, huh?«

»Finally. I was getting sick just from watching Mctavish‘s puppy eyes. Good thing they are catching a break.«

Professor Garrick answers to the biology prof, earning a nod from the other. ----

Johnny‘s bed, Moday 9:54 AM

You soften at his touch and words, sighing out and finally settle down beside him once more.

»Don‘t tell me you wouldn‘t want to spend more time with me and instead go to work.« He shifts to get closer, pulling you close to his chest. His words make you shake your head, nuzzling into him in return.

»Wouldn‘t dream of it.«

You mumble back softly to him, making him smile and squeeze your waist with his arms.

a/n: I really hope you enjoyed this very small series, I didn't plan on writing some smut, but decided it would only be fair and also wanted to try out how well I can write that (it was really hard typing with one hand okay). thanks for reading!

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yubellia · 5 months ago

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Please stop protecting Stolas

Wish me luck everybody. This might be a bit risky. Remember how I talked about full moon in my last post? Since than, I saw so many people protecting Stolas. Coming up with all kinds of excuses for him and his behavior…. It’s just sick. So I thought I talk about it again.

Prepare yourself because I also am writing something for Octavia.

Also, there are many things I don‘t write about in detail. Others did a way better job, showing it with pictures. I just want to talk about some stuff.

——————————————————-

So. Before we begin I would like to say AGAIN, that Blitz made mistakes too. Yes he broke into the palace, yes he played with Stolas‘s feelings to get the book. And yes that’s messed up. I know. But I still believe he was in the right to call Stolas out for all his nonsense.

For starters, Stolas was the one who started the deal. After blitz realized that he could use that, he followed. On multiple occasions we can see how Stolas pushes the interactions in one direction. The bedroom. This will be interesting when I talk about Octavia too. It was Stolas who said stuff like „you are so cute when you are serious.“ like really? He didn’t take blitz serious. Not one bit. Everytime blitz seemed annoyed or voiced his opinion, Stolas dismissed it as a game. Only after the events at Ozzie’s, when blitz drove him home and told him „I can‘t do it. I don‘t want to.“ did he realize that this might not be a game. Blitz called him out. That this was a deal, that blitz was his plaything (Stolas even called him his ‚impish plaything in the past I think? Like wtf? Not to mention ‚itty bitty Blitzy‘ I would be embarrassed too.) and all that. After THAT did Stolas really start to think and realize that blitz really isn’t happy.

And Blitz was right to call him out too. Remember how Ozzie stood up to Mammon to protect Fizz? Blitz was there. He saw all that! He knows that it could be different and he was holding back tears before he drove away. He has feelings for Stolas. Everyone and their grandma knows that.

But what did Stolas do? When he was called out and people saw him with an imp? He hides in shame. I know Blitz was using him to get into the club. Before you point that out. I know. But imagine you are with someone, they get called out for it and instead of backing you up, or saying SOMETHING to help, they hide. Try to not be seen with you. Blitz was right to call him out. We know that he has feelings for Stolas. Now imagine how painful that one was.

Stolas can claim to love him all he wants. It doesn’t mean anything if he can‘t act like it. How is blitz supposed to know what Stolas feels? Do you forget that he didn’t hear those depressing songs we get? I already talked about their interaction in full moon. If you wanna know, please read that one.

Now, let’s talk about some of the ‚excuses‘ I’ve seen for Stolas.

„He didn’t have his pills.“ yes, I too wrote about that. I said something like ‚it’s not a good start for something important like this.‘. But I forgot something. First, Stolas is a GROWN MAN! I know! I know! He acts like a teenage girl with a crush sometimes. It’s easy to forget that. But it’s true. And as an adult, he should be able to take care of himself. And keep an eye on his pills

Second, if you take pills and you take them on a schedule. And not missing out. It will actually take at least a day or two (or more depending on what it is you take), until your body realizes what’s going on and falls back into the old ways. You don‘t get withdrawal symptoms that fast. Maybe with painkillers but not with this. He could have panicked without his pills but he should have been fine. So this one is not an excuse really.

Second, people actually blame Blitz, the Victim in my opinion, by saying „he stole the book he could just go and find a new job.“

The first part, ok. I already said that he started this in a way. But the rest? I am sorry but…. Did you watch the show?

Striker outright confirmed that it’s pretty impressive for an imp to start a business in the first place! Imps are at the bottom! We don‘t really see how hard it really is to find a job for them but it seems like they don‘t really have the ways to work themselves up. Unless you are like Fizzarolli. Talented and lucky to have Ozzie. But those are exceptions.

Second, „find a new job“. Guys…. Blitz is not an employee, blitz is the BOSS! It is his business. He can‘t just quit. He has a responsibility! For his employees who need jobs! Bills to pay ! Not to mention it would be nice if he and his daughter would not end up penniless on the streets and starving!

Seriously, people are so desperate to defend Stolas, the one with ALL THE POWER in this relationship, that they don‘t think before they write! I know it’s easy to feel bad for Stolas! I too have seen images of little baby Stolas that plays with blitz and can‘t realize what’s going on. Well congrats! You fell for it too! This is called victim blaming. Blitz had no choice. Not if he wants to do business that is. But because he is loud and aggressive and a jerk sometimes, we feel bad for poor, poor Stolas. A few depressing songs and boom!

I know that I said both messed up. And it’s true. But Stolas messed up more. At least focusing on this relationship. Like I said, I also write something about Octavia and Stolas too. That topic hits pretty close to home for me. So if you wanna know more reasons why Stolas messed up, wait and see.

——————————————————-

Sorry. Lost my composure for a moment. It’s just so annoying. I know that some people look at fizz and Ozzie and hope that someday we get something close to that with these two guys. But really? They are very different from Ozzie and fizzy. That won‘t happen. Not too soon at least. And not without Stolas really working on himself. (BOTH working on themselves. Blitz needs to learn to trust and open up for real. To not think too low of himself and let others in.) Stolas saying that he understands that he did something wrong doesn’t mean anything if he doesn’t work on it.

(I already wrote about how he messed up his love confession. I am not blaming Blitz for not taking him serious in that. And remember, blitz had the crystal. He didn’t have to run after Stolas but he did. Give him credit where it’s due. Ok?)

Like Rosie said: „words are cheap. Actions, they speak the truth.“

So? What did his actions tell us so far? With blitz and Octavia? Doesn’t look too good now huh?

——————————————————

So…… I hope i didn’t upset too many people. Stolas fans, I am sorry. Something makes me want to like this fluffy bird too but…. I can‘t help it. He was in the wrong.

This was more jumbled then i wanted it to be but i hope you understand.

Remember, English isn’t my first language and if you wanna see more, wait for it.

Goodbye.

#helluva boss #stolas x blitz #stoliz #stolas

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plscallmeeren · 1 year ago

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DON‘T MIND THAT

Darcy Lewis x Reader

Request: Yep :) and it makes me very happy

Summary: you work as an on-the-field medic for the Avengers and are dating Darcy Lewis (your girlfriend of four years, lucky you) and realise that her combat skills could use some serious improvement. Training turns out to be more fun than expected

Warnings: Swearing; insinuations of sex; some touching and almost sexy stuff I guess; violence (not heavily depicted or anything)

Word Count: 3.1K+

Darcy cackled at a line Sheldon had pulled, not letting the smile slip from your face seeing her so happy.

With one more 'bazinga' the scene came to a close and Leonard and Penny were making out in his bed.

You looked down at Darcy who was sitting in between your legs, slowly munching on a musli bar, clad in only a lacy bralette and panties due to the fact that you had only recently woken up.

"That doesn't look too bad, does it, love?" you grinned, moving your thumbs in circles where your hands lay on her tummy.

"Mhm, no... 'M not satiated yet from last night," she teased, her words growing more clear as she spoke. She rolled around so that her cleavage hung around your groin and she could look up at you through those damned lashes.

"Yeah? You looked pretty tired when I was finished with you, I'd say," you smirked, your hands moving to grip her ass, encouraging her legs towards you as she placed a gentle kiss against you boxers.

"Ten minutes until take-off. New location discovered. Please meet at Quinjet in bay 16-A," came the annoying, annoying, annoying, annoying voice of JARVIS.

"Fuuuck," you groaned, throwing your head back and hissing when it hit the headboard.

"You want me to kiss it better?" Darcy offered, sitting a little more upright but not making the view any less inviting - or, for that matter, teasing.

"I'm gonna need lots of kissing better when I get back, yeah?" She kissed your forehead adorably in the meantime.

You quickly stood up, dragging the leather suit out of your closet and hurriedly changing into it while JARVIS opened the slot behind your mirror to present the armour-ish part of your suit.

"Hey, I know this sounds totally crazy, but- Could I come with you? Just to try it out. If it doesn't work, that's fine by me. I can offer some insight into which paperwork might be important, too, considering there's always the trouble of JARVIS not being able to scan everything fast enough. I've had some combat training, I might just survive," she spoke very quickly. You attempted a laugh, but you didn't truthfully find it particularly funny.

"Are you sure about this, hon'? No one here's really assessed you on your combat skills and even if we arm you to the teeth- Well, I suppose you'd be flanked at all times and you have fought, kinda, sorta, with Jane before, but..." You started mumbling at an inaudible pace and volume, arguing back and forth with yourself even though you already knew what you wanted to say and your unfortunate answer.

"Okay, give me a sec." You pressed the button on your suit connecting you via audio to whoever's name you spoke first. "Tony, can Darcy come? I'll cover her at all times and she thinks she can give some insight on the paperwork problem. Preferably, none of you get too injured, that's all."

"You sure about this?" came the staticky reply.

"Y-Yeah."

"Okay, your mirror will close again and give it like- I dunno, three minutes and JARVIS can make her a decent catsuit-type thing. We have all her sizes, obviously. Stay safe."

You sighed gently as you nodded at your girlfriend in confirmation. She beamed. "Does this mean I'm a superhero now?"

"Sure. I guess you were already an Avenger or whatever, generally speaking. JARVIS will have just a plain suit made in about three minutes."

"Oh yeah, they did ask me about my sizes when I first got here... guess they didn't wanna seem creepy and scan me." You smiled down guiltily and her brows furrowed. "They did that, too?"

"They do everything." You placed the two guns in their holsters and heaved your foot up onto the side of the bed to slip another knife into a thigh-holder. The medical attachments hung around your middle and on your back.

"You're so hot when you do that," she whispered, glancing once again at your thigh.

"Thanks, love."

The mirror opened, revealing a catsuit which looked like it was going to be very tight indeed. Darcy gazed at it in awe.

"Are you sure that's gonna fit me?"

"JARVIS knows you better than yourself." It was simple and black, not unlike Natasha's but missing a few key components that she had requested over the years. It had one gun holster, and that was about it for weaponry.

She exchanged her current attire for some sports underwear before pulling the suit on and finally turning around, asking you to do up the zipper even though she could very well reach it herself.

Just before you could turn the TV off as you handed a gun to Darcy, Sheldon walked in on Leonard and Penny almost having sex, and you chuckled at the fitting scenario before turning it off.

You could admire your girlfriend properly now. You knew her body inside and out, but to see the leather clinging to her every curve was another matter. You wondered desperately if you were going to let either of you get shot because you were so distracted.

You grabbed her by the hips and kissed her deeply, unfortunately aware of the timer ticking down to '03:00 minutes remaining'.

She whimpered slightly as you pulled away, still somewhat disappointed at what had been cut short that morning.

"C'mon, let's go. Bay 16-A, was it?"

"That is correct," JARVIS answered immediately, making you roll your eyes playfully and call out 'wasn't asking you' before you both left the room.

•••

"On your right," you yelled, too pre-occupied with three HYDRA agents of your own to properly defend Natasha.

It was funny how you had grown into a role you definitely didn't intend on signing up for. You were an agent of SHIELD who specified in medicine. Of course, when you were offered the job as a medic for the Avengers you weren't exactly going to say no. But it turned out that the most dangerous injuries they acquired couldn't be trusted to wait until they flew back, especially if they were further away. So, being quite close to them all personally, you offered yourself. The original plan was that you stay in the Quinjet and possibly run onto the field if the others can't afford to move whoever it is. But slowly, ever so slowly, you would venture further and further out on the field to keep look-out, and slowly...

You simply joined in.

Medical attention was still the priority, but they weren't going anywhere without you in the midst, anymore.

You sent a painful front-kick with steel-capped boots to the man right in front of you's solar plexus, presently spinning around and sending two fatal blows to each of the other agent's chests.

Not allowing yourself the time to regain your strength, you shot a woman holding a sword-like thing to Clint's back and turned to find Darcy.

Except you couldn't see her.

You frantically pressed the button on your suit, calling out for her as you ran around aimlessly.

With a stroke of luck, you turned into a part of the building you hadn't entered yet and found her with large eyes, surrounded by three large men and a woman, all equally stern as they held her at gun-point.

"Hey! Four to one, that isn't fair, is it?" you shouted, earning the men's attention, but the woman wasn't falling for it. In quick succession you managed to hit two of them, saving a bullet for the third and then finally turned to see the woman holding your girlfriend in front of her with the gun at her throat.

Your heart pounded in your ears, your lungs hurt from the abnormal intake that wasn't reaching very far at all.

How had you let this happen? Why had you agreed to let her come with no assessment whatsoever? How had you lost her?

"Drop the gun, or I'll use mine," she ordered, and you could see Darcy trembling as she opened her mouth to comment something quick-witted, but you gently shook your head as you lay down your weapons.

Well, not your knife, of course.

"Just hand her over. Please. I won't kill you." The woman hesitated, apparently contemplating if I was still capable of doing such a thing, then laughed as she decided.

"Come to me. I'll have both of you, and if you're lucky, you'll survive."

That's when you noticed that she had actually managed to cuff Darcy, making things just a tad more complicated. But she was presenting you with the perfect offer.

"Okay, whatever you want," you faked submission, approaching her with raised hands.

"Good. Now-"

You threw your leg up against her face, hearing the satisfying crack of her jaw as you pulled out your knife, wasting no time in ramming it into her heart. "That's what you get for touching my girl," you whispered, and you could see the shivers run up and down Darcy's spine.

"Are you okay?" you asked frantically, looking her up and down with scared eyes as she almost slumped against you.

"Yeah, just- just a little shaky. You know how it is."

You gulped, turned to search the dead woman for keys or the likes.

"If you're looking for keys- these things have a number code, (y/n)," Darcy interrupted your search and you cursed.

"Okay, let's get back to the jet, then. We'll laser it off back home if need be." She nodded, unimpressed, following you outside unhappily as you informed the others through the comms. "Lewis and (L/n) heading back to jet. Still available for specified functions."

A chorus of understanding or envious answers chimed through the speakers as you made your way through the forest, away from the fight. One guy needed putting down, but that was it.

Once you were safely back in the Quinjet, Darcy leaned on you, apologising profusely, but you wouldn't have it. Eventually the other Avengers filed in with only minor injuries and you were undoubtedly grateful for it.

•••

Darcy, in light of the red lines around her wrists, had taken your constructive criticism of her technique very well and gladly agreed to undertake some training with you.

So, there you stood, in an entirely empty Avengers compound, entirely empty training room, entirely empty fighting ring except for the two of you.

"You ready?" you asked, bouncing on your heels to get in the mood.

"Uh, ready as ever. Just dying to land a punch on you," she added playfully and you smirked.

"Okay, how do you punch?"

She moved her legs apart and held two fists in front of her chest unsurely, thumb beneath fingers.

"Okay, lie your thumb across your fingers like this," you demonstrated, Darcy copying easily. "Now, you either have to have offset feet if you want to hold your fists in front of your chest, or you stand like you are now, but with palms facing upwards at your hip."

"It's always chest or hip with you, isn't it?"

You grinned but otherwise ignored the comment, showed one variant, then the other, and the two of you went back and forwards for a while.

"You're gonna wanna...," you trailed off, standing beside her and leading her arms. Leading her body in a way that took the force from much more than just her elbow or shoulder.

"Oh," she chimed, and you chuckled as she toyed with the new position, coming to terms with how it felt and how much more power she could install in a hit.

"Alright, then... blocking."

"Or alternatively, unblocking my path to being a real Avenger."

You spent about an hour straightening out her basics and after a short break promised to reveal some of the more fancy side of close combat.

"So, you jump off of something nearby, could be a wall, could be a fence, anything that will hold you, and then push off, throw your one leg up, preferably not the dominant one..." You kept explaining the move, not noticing Darcy's eyes glued to your lips as you instructed, her gaze occasionally slipping further down where a river of sweat marked your shift down the middle.

"That all understandable? Sorry, I'm so warm, I've gotta-" You pulled off the grey singlet top and sighed in content as the cooler air hit your skin.

Your girlfriend stood slightly stunned, as if she had never seen you half-naked before, eyes raking repeatedly over your glistening body and specifically muscles.

"Start when you're ready."

Having only really heard what move it was and the first few words, Darcy half-heartedly jumped off one rope building the ring and sort of held onto you, trying to wrap her thighs around your neck.

You both fell rather inelegantly, forcing you to catch the fall, and turn in midair, ending with your face still between her thighs.

"Well, I certainly don't mind that position, love." She turned bright red and you laughed softly.

You stood, holding out a hand to invite her up, pulling her close and clasping your hands behind her waist.

"That's awfully close for a student-teacher relationship," Darcy commented, but you could feel the heat from her face, led alone her sweat-drenched body.

"I could teach you all sorts of things."

"Oh, yeah?"

"You know. The butterfly. Spooning. Missionary. Queening..."

Darcy wasn't anything short of daring in the bedroom, but it was very easy to fluster her talking about it.

"Or maybe...," you leaned in very close to her ear, hot breath not the only thing warming inside her, "cowgirl?"

You pulled away, smirked, asked her to try and do the move again if she could concentrate enough.

Body trembling, Darcy dared her body to do what she asked, did a miraculously good job until you were standing with her thighs around your head and she couldn't manage the hypothetical neck-cracking or hypothetical slam.

"Don't you want me on the ground?"

"Yeah, I'm thinking of learning that cowgirl move next. Or was it reverse?"

You smirked, lowering her legs to the height of your waist so that you could hold her by her ass and look her in the eye.

"But I don't know if I want the lesson to continue, you know. You might have to convince me of your subject-"

You pushed your girl against one of the four posts and led your lips to hers, ghosting them for a moment before pulling away again.

Her gaze was trained on your arms, steady as they held her up and so strong and those abs and-

"Are you listening, baby?"

"Y-Yeah. Always."

You pulled away, standing at the edge of the ring where Darcy couldn't bare having you, and gestures for her to come at you.

Not having the slightest idea what you said before, she simply ran at you, fist raised.

With criminal ease you swished her around and she landed softly (with you to thank for that) on her back.

"I think I'm getting too warm, too," she breathed, looking you in the eye as she slipped off the sports top.

You fixated on her breasts, admiring because you knew you were welcome, unaware that your mouth was slightly agape.

"It's only for practical reasons, you can close your mouth, now," she taunted, just as she pulled off her pants as well. You desperately attempted to pick up your jaw, but found it harder than expected. That wasn't the only sense, however, in which your body was betraying you.

Yet with that thought, your eyes wandered further down and you couldn't suppress a smirk.

"Having your legs around my head makes you wet, huh? I didn't even do anything?"

"It's just sweat."

"Right."

"Oh, stop teasing me-" She stood, ran towards you to hold onto you or so, but you swivelled her around so that her back was pressed up against your front, holding onto her instead.

"How am I teasing you? I'm just helping you train..." You trailed sloppy kisses down her nape, nipping at her ear as you passed it.

She moaned gently, caving in on your body to seek more skin contact.

An idea visibly struck her and she pulled away, much to your surprise, lifting her chin as she studied your expression cockily.

"What?"

"I want you to show me just one more move," she said defiantly. "How to get an attacker on the ground. Can you show me?"

You hesitated, wondering what she was up to, but deciding you didn't really mind either way.

Sparsely annotated, you showed her some possible steps and footwork and finally pushed her over, landing with your waist over hers and a hypothetical hand to her throat.

"That what you m-"

She cut you off, pulling you in for a passionate kiss that you gladly reciprocated. Teasing wasn't generally what the two of you did, so after what - in your understanding - was a long time, you were happy to give in.

The kiss started slow, longing, sensuous, but you were both realising it wouldn't be enough for long, quickening your pace to the point you could hardly keep up.

You pulled away shortly, earning a breathy whimper from Darcy, kissing her jaw and then her neck in silent worship. She let a high-pitched moan escape her and you smirked against her skin.

"Do you like this, love?"

"Y-Yeah, I fucking love this," she replied, unusually high and unstable.

Your kisses ventured further and further down, eventually swiping your tongue along the rim of her bra.

"C'mon, then, you can't tell me you've never wanted to fuck someone against the cold, hard floor," Darcy teased, and that was all you needed to hear.

——————

This is terrible I'm so sorry

Unedited bullshit but anyways it's too late to keep writing hope you enjoy anyway and this was a bit like you imagined from your request :)

Goodnight/morning/day/evening wherever y'all are 🌞

#darcy lewis #fanfic #fanfiction #marvel #mcu fanfiction #romance #the avengers #darcy x yn #reader insert

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imaslutforremusandsirius · 4 years ago

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Who knew brooms could be so useful part 2

Is this who we are? Is this what we represent? I swear I don‘t have a broom kink

Have fun I guess? *forced smile*

Part one

Warnings: 18+, Sexual content with a broom

---

You stared at him, mouth opening and closing for a few times before you found your words.

„You want to...fuck me with your broom...because it brought you good luck in the last game?“

James nodded, face dead serious.

You stared again. What?

„I don‘t know how you did it, but I swear, after you came on my broom, I scored points after points. I always knew that you are my lucky charm.“

You kept staring, thoughts racing all over the place. James wants to fuck you with his broom and make you cum all over it, so he can win the upcoming quidditch game against Slytherin.

He leaned in closer, hand grasping your chin to tilt your head up and he had a hard look on his face.

„You want me to win, right poppet?“

You furrowed your brows, offended that he would imply otherwise, „Of course, James!“

He brushed his thumb over your lips, finger sliding into your mouth to play with your tongue.

„Then let me fuck you with it. But only grinding on it isn‘t enough this time sweetheart, you need to come with it inside of you. Want your cum all over it, you hear me?“

Oh my god.

„Merlin, James, how do you get those ideas?“

„S‘not difficult. I love you and I love Quidditch. Will you do it?“

You bit your lip. „Meet me by the lake at sundown, don‘t be late or I‘ll chicken out!“, you warned him.

He smirked at you, obviously pleased to get his way and pressed a hot kiss on your lips. Spoilt.

---

You were already sitting by the lake, waiting for your boyfriend when you heard the swooping sound of a broom landing on the ground and turned around, just to be kissed hard by James. He was needy, groping your ass and thighs, pulling you close to breathe you in. He wanted to get lost in the taste of your lips, the smell of your hair and feeling of your soft legs in his callous hands. He was overwhelmed by his desperation for you and there was only one way he knew how to show his lust. By fucking you senseless.

"You're my dirty cocksucking little whore. Repeat it."

You whine loudly. “I’m your dirty cocksucking little whore.”

James let out a low groan. “Mmm, the things I’m gonna make you do. Take off your clothes and touch yourself, slut.”

Immediately you took off your clothes sitting down on James jacket, that he placed on the ground and spread your legs. Your pussy is already wet, lips sticking together and your clit swollen. James took your hand to suck on your fingers and spit on your open palm before he leaned against a tree and watched you closely.

“Fuck your fingers and make yourself cum.” James wanted you to cum as much as possible, before he fucked you with his broom, so you could squirt all over the object.

One hand rubbed at your clit, the other one gently playing with your slit as you slid in one finger at a time. You kept your eyes on yourself, to emberassed to look at him. He noticed, of course he would, and crouched infront of your open legs to give you a mean glare.

“How many times do I have to tell you to look at me when you play with yourself..”

“M’sorry Jamie, but it doesn’t feel the same. S’not good, I want your fingers instead, please!”

"Shut up. I don't care what you want. You're here to do what I want."

You whimpered at his condesending tone and fucked your tight pussy with your fingers, always on the brink of pleasure but never quite reaching your spot. The spot that James adores and is the only one capable to finding it.

“Stupid girl, can’t even fuck yourself right. You greedy thing got used to the pleasure I give you, that you can’t do it on your own anymore. Get your fingers off of my pussy, now!”

You took away your hands, resting on your elbows as you looked at your lover. He spit on his palm and gave your naked body such a look of indifference, that you would think he wasn’t effected by this in the slightes, if his the buldge in his pants wasn’t showing. He pushes his fingers in hard and fast, thick and long fingers curling and hitting that spongey part of your pussy, his other hand drawing little circles on your clit. Your legs started to shake as you begged him to let you cum.

"Do you want to cum?"

"Yes!"

"Beg for it." You beg, voice breaking, trying to hold in your orgasm.

"Louder". You beg louder, eyes glassy and pleading.

"Not good enough. Try again."

“Please, pleas ah- please, I’ll do anything, please!”

"Good girl, you can cum now." And you do, hard, clamping your pussy around his fingers, moaning into the sunset.

He took out his fingers, your pussy squelching obscenely and he let out an amused chuckle when your legs shook at the intensity.

Silently he willed his broom into his open hand and gave you a calculating look.

“Your pussy is so wet and needy it would take anything at this point, isn’t that right slut?” You bit your lip, cheeks flushing with humiliation as you nodded your head.

James gave you a hard look. “What was that? Speak up.”

“Yes James.”

He pressed to tip of the broom against you lips.

“Stick your tongue out and lick the tip.” You did as you were told, rolling your tongue over the smooth wood of his broom, your spit coating the surface. James was breathing heavy, eyes never leaving your mouth as he pushed the broom a little further into your mouth. “Suck.” Sucking softly you kept eye contact and made sure to let your spit cover the wood. You were messy, some of your spit was trailing down onto your tits and James used it to play softly with your nipples, pinching and twisting until they were a cherry red and hard under his touch.

He moved to broom downwards, letting the wood caress your hard nipples, further down and lightly brushed your clit. You panted softly, teeth sinkinf into your lips as you watched closely. James stroked your clit with the broom, making you close your eyes and let out small moans, the wood rough against your sensitive skin. He moved lower, the broom pushing firmly on your hole, stretching you out deliciously. You were moaning already, the scene so bizarre, so sinful it made you ache for James. You wanted to please him now, wanted to feel his cock in your mouth and his taste on your lips. You begged him to let you suck his cock, James just shook his head strictly and fucked you faster, the broom hitting your spot and making you see stars. It sounds simple, but it made you feel deeply cared for. He was not only taking charge, he was denying you something you wanted, and still putting your pleasure first.

His pupils were dialeted as he watched his broom fuck in and out of your, his, tight pussy. You didn’t hold back, fucking and grinding against him, the pleasure making you delirious, your mind slipping into subspace.

You were blabbering, letting out incoherent phrases, the only word you were able to pronounce was a weak, broken “Please!”, over and over again. James was kissing every part of your body, wanting to be close to you when you came.

“That’s it darling, fuck my broom. You gonna cum? You gonna cum like this, huh?” He was going harder and faster, wanting to see you finish.

“I want you to push when you cum, you hear me? I want to see you gush all over my broom and I will keep fucking you with it until you do”

The message was clear, James wouldn’t stop until you squirted for him. You were already in subspace from all the pleasure, the last thing you wanted to do was disobey him.

„C‘mon sweetheart be my good girl. Cum for your Jamie hm? You want me to win the game right? Want to make me happy?“

You nodded your head fast, a look of utter adoration and love on your face as you stared into his eyes. He smiled at you, clearly enjoying the attention.

„Them cum, show me what a good slut I have. Show me how much you wanna cum. You‘d do anything for me, wouldn‘t you my love. Fuck, yes go ahead, cum oh fuck-“

Your shriek cut James of, echoing through the woods as you came hard, squirting all over his broom, soaking everything with your cum.

„Fuck baby, that‘s it gimme your cum, ah-“

James panted and moaned as he watched you cum, his face contorted in utter satisfaction.

He pulled the broom out, draping himself over you and pressed you down with his weight into the grass underneath your back. He kissed you deeply, panting into you mouth. James had been so enamored with seeing you cum on his broom, that he came as well, untouched inside of his underwear. Your sight alone reduced him to a desprate mess, your pleasure enough for him to cum as well.

God the boy loved you.

#james potter smut #james potter x you #james potter #marauders smut

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akusaimonth · 2 years ago

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AkuSaiMonth 2022: How it works

[ID in alt]

One final collection of information!

Check out https://asm22-info.carrd.co/ for a complete overview over Rules & General Information for both tumblr and instagram!

How it works:

The AkuSaiMonth event lasts from July 8 (7/8; IsaLea Day) to August 7 (8/7; AkuSai Day)

This year‘s event gives the prompts as bingo cards with randomized prompt orders

The goal is to get one bingo within the month by filling five prompts in one row, column or diagonal.

There is no official schedule

The goal is just for motivation and fun, you are not obliged to fill five prompts! One is perfectly fine!

Take part as much as you want, whenever you want!

How to „win “ Examples:

[ID: four filled out example bingo cards. Three using a correct bingo constellation (five crossed out prompts in one row, column or diagonal) are marked as “correct”. One card with a random pattern of crossed out prompts is marked as “wrong”]

Everyone who gets a bingo „wins“. Speed has nothing to do with it!

„Winning“:

Again, don‘t take it too seriously!

There is no prize for „winning“

There is no penalty for „not winning“

The format is just for fun, to make the event a little more like a game.

What counts to fill a Prompt?

Every kind of content you can think of!

Writing, art, videos, music, edits, fan games, ...

Just make sure it‘s your own work! No stolen content!

Check out the Rules & General Information overview.

Where do I get the bingo card?

There are two kinds of bingo cards, you can find both on asm22.carrd.co

Interactive bingo cards will be randomly assigned as soon as you click the link.

Text-to-Speech-friendly bingo cards will bring you to a google drive where you can pick one of the three available. I'd recommend picking at random!

When should I post?

Whenever you want, preferably within the month.

One possible schedule would be:

Fri, Jul 8

Sat, Jul 16

Sat, Jul 23

Sun, Jul 31

Sun, Aug 7

That‘s one post a week!

Where can I post?

ASM22 is held on tumblr and instagram, but you can post wherever you want!

On tumblr all posts will be reblogged to the @akusaimonth tumblr.

On instagram I will collect all posts in the stories. It is also possible to invite @akusaimonth as a collaborator to showcase and collect your works on this page as well. All rights to your works remain with you of course!

If you post to other sites (e.g. AO3, twitter, wattpad, youtube, …) you can send me the link in a DM and I can add it to the instagram stories (and tumblr, if you didn't post it here already). Let me know where you want me to post the link and whether it contains NSFW or anything else I should know.

„Is (…) allowed?“

Short answer: It most likely is.

Check out the Rules & General Information for a definitive answer.

So far I‘ve only had good experiences with the AkuSai fandom. I don‘t expect any problems, just act normal and everything will be fine. However, to be safe I do retain the right to not share content I find in bad taste and will ask you to remove it from the #akusaimonth tags as well.

That said, I don‘t take any responsibility for any content created during the event!

Final Information:

Please do read the Rules & General Information. Yes, I've linked it like 87 times in this post, that's how serious I am.

It gives all the information about posting rules, content rules and NSFW rules for both tumblr and instagram.

Please keep in mind that posting rules and NSFW rules differ slightly between tumblr and instagram.

If you have any more questions, please don‘t hesitate to ask!

And finally, I hope you will enjoy the event! Let‘s give the world some more AkuSai! <3

#akusaimonth #asm22 #akusai #isalea #leaisa #axelsaix #kingdom hearts #axel kingdom hearts #saix kingdom hearts #isa kingdom hearts #lea kingdom hearts

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dreaming-about-fanfictions · 4 years ago

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Choose Me Instead II Draco Malfoy x Reader II Chapter 11 of 27: Desperation

Summary: Pretending to be in a relationship with Draco Malfoy to get back at your ex might have not been the smartest idea you ever had. Especially during your last year of Hogwarts where you should be focusing on exams and your future plans. However, you were just pretending. There was no way in hell you could actually catch feelings for someone like Malfoy. … Right?

CHAPTER 10 CHOOSE ME INSTEAD - MASTERLIST

A/N: Dumblr had some issues with the tagging system and a lot of people didn’t get tagged for some reason. I hope it works today though! Once again: THANK YOU FOR ALL THE AMAZING SUPPORT! OMFG I LOVE YOU ALL TO DEATH! Seriously, ilysm! I’m so happy you like my story <33 Also have fun with some ANGST ^^

Words: 5.8k Pairing: Draco Malfoy x fem!Reader, post war Warnings: blood, description of wounds, mentions of suicide, panic attacks, anxiety, a lot of angst my loves

“Draco?”

It was nothing more than a whisper. You stood frozen in place, staring at the bathroom door. Your heart was beating so hard in your chest that you were scared it would jump out any second now. Every breath that left your lungs trembled, showing the panic you tried to swallow down so badly. It was an eerie feeling – standing here in their empty room. The water of the Black Lake illuminated the room in a soft green light. You blinked and wondered if the shadow behind the glass had been just a figment of your imagination.

You cleared your throat. “Draco?”

Five large steps and you crossed the room. “Draco, it’s me,” you tried to sound as calm and collected as you possibly could and you were glad he couldn’t see the way, you started to pick at your thumb. It would start to bleed soon, you were sure. You turned the doorknob but Zabini and Nott had been right. Draco had locked himself in.

There was no response from inside. He had gone silent. When you pressed the air against the wooden door, you could still hear suppressed whimpers. Your heart began to race again. Something was wrong, so very wrong.

„Draco, let me in, please,” you said a little louder and a little more panicked. “I can help you, just let me in!”

“No!”

You flinched at his sudden reaction.

“No, y-you can’t … you can’t h-help m-me.” The way his voice broke at the end of the sentence made it feel like he stabbed you with sharp knife. You swallowed, fighting the tears that began to dwell up. He needed your help now. You needed to be strong for him now, there was no point in him seeing you cry. This wasn’t about you.

“I’m coming in,” you announced and pulled out your wand. He made weak sounds of protest but you ignored them. Three deep breaths, you thought to yourself. Then I’m going in.

One … Two … Three.

“Alohomora.” There was a click and door slowly opened, accompanied by a high-pitched creaking noise.

You gasped when you took in the scene that unfolded in front of you. The bathroom was a mess. It looked a potions experiment gone wrong. Containers filled with liquids and other ingredients were scattered all over the wet floor. Pieces of broken glass filled the sink and a pungent smell that burned in your lungs hit you when you stepped in.

Draco Malfoy, the sarcastic Slytherin who never shied away from a confrontation and always had a witty comeback ready, sat on the floor and looked like a picture of misery. He leaned against the tub, legs stretched out and his left wrist pressed tightly against his chest. His white shirt was wet with water and …

You shrieked and put a hand over your mouth when you realized that it was blood that gave his shirt a light red color, running down his wrist and dropping from his elbow onto the dark tiles. Draco lifted his head, his eyes meeting yours for the first time since you walked in. His face was red, his eyes swollen and puffy from crying. His body was still shaking, trembling sobs he desperately tried to suppress were echoing through the small room.

It was the look in his eyes that made you drop to the floor on your knees. So full of pain and heartbreak. A sadness he shouldn’t be able to feel at his young age that made you lose the ground below your feet. “Oh god, Draco, oh god,” you whispered. You reached for the wrist he was still pressing up against his chest. “What did you do? Oh god, oh –”

Tears began to stream down his face again and sobs shook his body. He mumbled something you couldn’t understand but tried to turn and get away from your touch. Your heart was beating in your throat now and you quickly examined the situation. There wasn’t much blood so you guessed he didn’t … you couldn’t even finish that sentence in your head. Nonetheless, you reached for a towel behind you.

“Let me see, please,” your voice was heavy with worry and fear. “I want to help you. I need to see what happened.”

“No,” he croaked, staring at the ground. “No, p-please leave, Y/N…”

You shook your head vehemently. “No, I won’t go. I won’t leave you here, you’re obviously hurt and –”

“I don’t … I don’t w-want you to s-see me like this,” he spoke so softly, you could barely understand him. “So … so w-weak …”

A single tear ran down your cheek and you quickly wiped it away before he could see it. Then you reached for his face with your right hand. “Draco, you’re not weak,” you could feel him leaning into your touch, “but you have to let me help you now!”

His breathing was ragged. Draco didn’t reply.

“There is no shame in asking for help. Let me be there you,” you urged him, putting your other hand on his wrist. There was no force in your gesture; you simply let it rest there.

It felt like an eternity. You kneeled on the floor, water soaking through the thin fabric of your uniform. You’d probably start to feel cold if there wasn’t so much adrenaline pumping through your veins.

“I wanted to make it go away.”

It was more of a whimper than anything else. A simple sentence that beared so much pain. However, you didn’t know what it meant.

“What?”, you tilted your head in confusion.

“It“, he spat out. You moved in a little closer. “I can’t stand to look at it anymore. I am so … I am so disgusting … I …”, he sniffled. “I don’t want to see it anymore … it’s always there … I tried everything …”

In this moment, the scales fell from your eyes. Your gaze dropped down to his arm underneath your hand – his left arm. You had never seen him without long sleeves that covered both his arms. Up to now, there had never been a reason for it. It was winter by now and always a little chilly in the castle. Now you realized that there was a second reason why he wouldn’t show the skin of precisely this arm.

„Draco…” You didn’t know what you were going to say. What was there to say? What could you possibly do to ease his suffering?

„I just wanted it to go away …”, he continued, staring on the black tiles. “When Pansy …”

Your eyes widened at the confession. Parkinson messed up her potion this morning and Slughorn explained what it would do to the human skin. You remembered how his voice sounded when he asked what Pansy did wrong.

Oh no.

“You …?”

His head snapped towards you at your unspoken accusation and he looked at you with a clenched jaw.

“Oh Merlin,” you uttered in complete disbelief.

“Don’t pity me!”, he snapped. It reminded you of his old self. Scenes of him insulting Harry in the Great Hall flashed in front of your eyes.

“I don’t, Draco”, you tried to sound as comforting as you could. “I don‘t, believe me. But I see that you’re in pain. And you’re bleeding.” Tightening your grip on his wrist, you gave him a serious look.

His lips began to quiver again, his breathing becoming heavier.

“May I …?”, you asked. “I just want to stop the bleeding.”

Finally, he relaxed slightly and let you take his wrist. You grab it carefully, making sure not to hurt him, and turned it so you could see the damage.

His arm was decorated with a gaping wound, full of blisters and blood that oozed from them. It looked like a someone tried to scrape the skin off with a dull knife before putting it on a hot stove. Beneath it, a part of the Dark Mark was still untouched and visible; the black stood in sharp contrast with his pale skin and the sight of the skull made your blood freeze.

What happened next was something that you would scold yourself for the next days to come: you gagged and almost let go of his arm.

Draco felt it, of course he did, and another sob escaped him. He tried to pull his arm back but you tightened your grip, not allowing him do so. Apologies tumbled over your lips and you quickly grabbed the towel. Before you started to wrap it around the wound, you mumbled a few spells, trying to help him at least a little. Nothing worked. You had to bring him to Madame Pomfrey. He needed a professional healer not a student with mediocre magical capabilities. You made sure that the towel was wrapped his arm tightly to stop the bleeding. Draco flinched and drew breath through his teeth. More apologies from you followed, a stumbling mess. You were overwhelmed with the situation, nothing could have prepared you for this.

„It hurts so much …”, he croaked when you put his arm back in his initial position – pressed against his chest.

„I know, I’m sorry,” you said full of remorse. “We will bring you to Madame Pomfrey and she will give you something for the pain.”

He sighed and shook his head. “That’s not what I meant…”

You looked up at his words. “What do you mean, Draco?”

He needed a moment to answer. You didn’t push him, you just rested one hand on his thigh, stroking it softly. You weren’t sure if you did it to calm him or yourself.

“Everything,” he closed his eyes. “Being here. Getting up in the morning. Going to sleep in the evening.”

You let out a deep breath, not liking the direction this conversation was going. Not liking it all. „What?”, your voice only trembled a little.

„I keep thinking about it …”, his eyes were still closed. “It hardly ever leaves my mind …”

“About what?”, you wanted to know with a more pressing undertone now.

Draco finally opened his eyes. He looked so tired, so exhausted. „About what I did,” he finally explained. “What my parents did. About my life … I’m wrong…”

You furrowed your brows. “What makes you say that?”

He chuckled; it was a bitter, sad laugh. “Don’t play pretend, you know what I mean … You’re not wrong. You’re right. Everything about you is right. Everything about me is wrong. Everything I learned, everything I believed in …” He trailed off.

Oh. Now you understood what he tried to say. Something you had guessed all along, from the day you met. It explained his changes and his odd behavior. It was what draw you in at the beginning of the school year, fascinating you from afar. Seeing it unfolding in front of you was terrifying though.

You reached for his healthy hand and squeezed it softly. “You’re not wrong.”

A tear ran down his cheek. You suppressed the urge to wipe it away. “But I am, I –”

“No”, you interrupted him harshly. “You’re not wrong, Draco. Listen to me, please!” Putting a hand to his face, you forced him to look at you. “You were a child and you didn’t have a choice! The mistakes of your parents don’t define you.”

He smiled sadly. “Easy to say for someone with picture perfect parents.”

“My parents raised a Death Eater,” you scoffed. The sentence stung. You had never said it out loud. Yet it was the only thing that came to your mind in this moment. When you continued speaking, your voice grew softer: “Your parents raised a spoilt child, yes, but they didn’t raise a Death Eater. The past weeks with you … I saw you! Your efforts to change, to do better … it’s not too late. You recognized what went wrong and you want to learn and be a better man and Draco, that is worth so much.”

His body had begun to shake again, tears dwelling up in his puffy eyes. “I just want the pain to stop …”

“I know,” you sighed and pulled him into a hug. He didn’t resist. “I know, I’m so sorry, I wish I could –”

“Please make it stop,” he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck. You felt his hot breath against your skin as he sobbed quietly.

“I’m so sorry,” you mumbled and stroked over his back. “I wish I could but –”

Suddenly, something happened. You didn’t know how it happened, but it did. Draco sat back, freeing himself from the hug and then … he kissed you.

It was a rough kiss, full of despair and a passion only found in situations like these. He grabbed you by your neck, pulling you close. His lips were soft and tasted salty from his tears as he moved them against yours. There was nothing sweet about this – he wanted to forget, turn off the pain and drown out the fear by feeling you – by being close to you.

It took you a few seconds to realize what was going on. You placed your hands on his chest, breaking the kiss and pushing him away. “Draco, no …”, you stared at him in shock.

He reached out for you again, tears streaming down his face. A shiver ran down your spine when you saw his desperation. “Please,” he whispered. “Please, you can fix me…” He sobbed and leaned against you. Wrapping your arms around him, you wanted to scream. You didn’t know what to do, you weren’t prepared for this, you couldn’t help him.

“The only time I feel alive is when I’m with you, Y/N, the only time I feel like I’m alright is when I’m with you,” he muttered against the fabric of your uniform. “Please, fix me …”

You were crying now as well, completely overwhelmed. “No,”, you whispered, “No, I can’t fix you. I’m sorry, I can’t fix you …”

“Please …”

“I can be here for you, I will be here for you,” the panic didn’t leave your voice. “I can’t fix you, Draco, I don’t know how … I shouldn’t be…”

You weren’t sure for how long you sat in the bathroom with Draco. Minutes? Hours? All you knew in this moment was his trembling body against yours, his pleas for someone – for you – to help him and the fear in your system that made you stammer the same sentences over and over again.

Suddenly there was a hand on your shoulder. Theodor Nott knelt beside you, saying something you didn’t understand. Then Zabini appeared behind him. He reached for Draco, pulling him up on his feet. Nott helped you, putting one arm around your waist. Together you made your way to the hospital wing.

***

It was early in the morning when Draco woke up.

Upon reaching the hospital wing, Madame Pomfrey had ordered the boys to put Draco down in the nearest bed, attending to him right away. She whirled around, asking you all sorts of questions to which mostly Nott answered, before grabbing potions and weird smelling herbs and getting to work.

Nott got a chair for you to sit down next to Dracos bed. Then he and Zabini got sent out. When Madame Pomfrey was done treating his arm, she turned her attention towards you and handed you a funny looking liquid to drink.

“To calm your nerves, honey,” she had said and insisted that you finished it. It tasted disgusting. Yet, whatever it was, it seemed to help. You slowly began to feel better and at some point, you let the exhaustion take over and drifted off to sleep.

It wasn’t until Draco woke up that you did too. Something had startled you. Blinking and yawning, you sat back up in your chair. Your limbs and neck hurt from the uncomfortable position you had been in for the last few hours.

Looking at his bed, you saw Draco laying on his back, his eyes fixated on the ceiling, an empty expression on his face.

“Hey,” you whispered and leaned over to hold his hand. He didn’t react.

“How are you feeling?”, you asked, looking at the bandage around his arm.

Draco turned his head towards you. “Better, I guess,” his voice was still hoarse. “I don’t feel so …”

You chuckled. “Yeah, she gave me the same thing.”

A sad smile appeared on his lips. He looked at you for a while, an unreadable expression in his eyes. “I’m so … sorry,” he cleared his throat. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

You shook your head. “Don’t be. You have nothing to be sorry about.”

“Yes, I do,” he replied. “I was a mess and –”

“That’s okay,” you tried to comfort him. “Happens to the best of us.”

“Having breakdowns about being a Death Eater?”, he frowned.

You snorted. “Maybe that’s only a thing for former Death Eaters, I admit that.”

The corners of his lips twitched but he didn’t smile. “I’m sorry about the kiss though.”

A sigh escaped your lips at the memory. Yeah. That happened. You almost forgot. „It’s fine. Pain leads us to do stupid things.“

“You’re not mad?“, he asked.

Again, you shook your head. “Of course not.”

Relieved, Draco let out a deep breath and turned his head to look back up at the ceiling. “We probably pretended for too long, I have to remind myself that we’re not actually dating.”

The confession took you by surprise. You frowned as you looked at him. He didn’t say anything else though and so you stayed there together in silence, holding hands. Outside, the sun started to rise, golden rays of sunlight flowing into the dark room. Classes would probably start soon. You were still wearing your Quidditch uniform and you crinkled your nose in disgust at the realization. You desperately needed a shower and a new set of clothes.

After a while, his eyelids began to flutter. With a smile, you watched Draco fall asleep.

You made sure Draco was actually sleeping before you let go of his hand and got up. Your whole body felt stiff and you cracked your neck. Then you walked over to Madame Pomfreys office. There was something that still needed to be done.

“Good morning,” the healer greeted you with a warm smile when you stepped inside. “How are you feeling, dear?”

“Better,” you replied. “Tired mostly.”

“That’s good,” she said. “I imagine it was quite a shock for you last night. Make sure to take a nap after classes.”

“I will.”

She smiled again before turning her attention back towards the book on your table. You hesitated, not knowing how to address it. When Madame Pomfrey noticed you weren’t leaving, she looked at you with worry. “Is there something else, dear?”

You sighed and rubbed over your neck. “Yes, actually,” you paused briefly. “It’s about Draco.”

She closed the book and leaned back in her chair. “What about Mr. Malfoy? Does he need something?”

You nodded. “Yes. A therapist.“

Madame Pomfrey raised her eyebrows, her mouth forming a quiet “oh”. This was the first time in her career as a healer that someone asked for that.

“I know, it’s not really a thing in the Wizarding World,” you continued quickly, scared she would interrupt you and send you outside. “It’s more common with the muggles but I read about it and I think it’s a good thing.”

“You believe, Mr. Malfoy needs a therapist?”, she asked slowly and folded her hands on the table. “You believe, I can’t help him?”

“No, that’s not what I said,” you defended yourself. “I believe you’re excellent at what you do but some wounds … some wounds can’t be treated with potions and herbs, Madame Pomfrey.”

The healer thought for a while. For so long in fact, you began to start feeling increasingly nervous, shifting uncomfortably. It wasn’t the first time you thought about bringing it up with her. Draco wasn’t the only who suffered, after all. The thought began to grow when you saw how your mother started grow colder. When you had to wake Ginny up from yet another nightmare and when McGonagall shouted at you to leave after a student had a panic attack in the hallways. There was no help for them. And sleeping medicine could only get you so far. What happened to Draco last night was only the last straw for you.

Madame Pomfrey sighed. When she looked back up, she seemed to have aged rapidly. “It’s sad, really, that poor boy …,” her gaze trailed off to the hospital wings behind you. “All those students ...”

“I believe a lot of the students could benefit from a professional to help them deal with everything that happened,” you added, looking expectantly at her.

Finally, she nodded. “Alright, let me see what I can do.”

A feeling of relief overcame you. “Thank you, Madame Pomfrey! Thank you!”

***

On the way to the common room, you were met with a lot of confused looks from your classmates. What it must have looked like for then – you in a dirty, bloody Quidditch uniform at seven in the morning, tired and exhausted like you spent the night outside. You were sure that rumors would spread like wildfire once Draco didn’t turn up for classes and someone mentioned how they saw you this morning. It was nothing you cared about though. Not right now.

“Miss Y/L/N?”

The voice of Professor Slughorn made you turn around in the hallway. The old man walked towards you with a quick step. Judging by the expression on his face, he had already heard what happened to Draco.

“Miss Y/L/N,” he lowered his voice when he reached you and saw the curious looks of some students around.

“Good morning, Professor,” you greeted him with half a smile.

“I heard about what happened to Mr. Malfoy last night, I hope you are alright?”

You nodded at his question.

“Good, good,” he continued. “I didn’t want to bother him but I know you and Mr. Malfoy have become rather close during those past weeks.”

When you noticed that he waited for some sort of approval, you nodded again. You didn’t understand where he was going with this.

“Just let him know that … his actions have no further consequences. I believe what happened is punishment enough.”

The statement made you take a step back. You furrowed your brows, as you stared at him. “Excuse me?”

“Oh,” Professor Slughorn cleared his throat. “He stole from my potions. But it will have no further consequences. I wanted to make that clear. Maybe you could tell him.”

“Right,” you scoffed. “Good for Draco.”

Slughorn looked at you for a moment as if he waited for you to thank him. You couldn’t believe him – his student, whose history he was well aware of, hurt himself in a mental breakdown and Slughorn expected you to be grateful for not punishing him for it? By Merlin, that’s why you needed a therapist in this damn school.

“Miss Y/L/N,” he then said. “Mr. Malfoy made some questionable choices in his past. He now needs to learn how to deal with it. He can’t hide behind his trauma forever and use it as an excuse for his behavior.”

You gritted your teeth. What was the punishment for punching a teacher in the face?

“Have a good day, Professor.”

***

Three Days later ...

Draco was released from the hospital wing on the same morning but was excused from school for the rest of the week. As you had suspected, rumors began to spread quickly.

“He tried to kill himself,” a student from Ravenclaw announced loudly during lunch at one point.

“I heard, he overdosed on some muggle drug,” a Hufflepuff said to his friends in the hallway. “You know how Slytherins are …”

“Maybe it was a fight between Y/L/N and Malfoy. He probably tried to hurt her or something, the whole relationship is doomed to fail. It’s Malfoy for Merlin’s sake …”

It was in this moment that you decided to hex everyone who had something to say about Draco.

Your friends peppered you with questions. Ginny was particularly curious about where you spent the night but you stayed silent, trying to appease her with vague explanations about an accident that sent Draco into the Hospital wing. Whether she believed it or not – she stopped asking after a while. It was really none of her business, you felt. Draco wouldn’t want her to know. It was bad enough that Zabini and Nott knew. From what you could tell, they kept quiet though.

You didn’t see Draco for three days after you left the hospital wing that morning. After classes when you wanted to visit him, he was already gone. He didn’t show up to meals. But you noticed how Astoria always took a full plate of food with her. It bothered you. It left an ugly feeling behind whenever you saw her leaving the table like that. She shouldn’t be the one taking care of him. She hadn’t been there. You had. In fact, you were his girlfriend …

Fake girlfriend, you corrected yourself.

At night, you barely got any sleep. You stared at the ceiling in the darkness for hours, thinking about that evening in the Slytherin bathroom. Feelings of worry alternated with the frustration that he put you in the situation. But were you really frustrated with him? Or were you upset at yourself, at how much it shook you to the core?

Why?, you kept asking yourself. Why do I care so much? How did I end up here?

He was a friend, a dear friend, and you’d do anything for your friends. A lot of them had gone through hard times as well and you were always there for them. But this? It felt different. Not once, even when they were at their lowest, did you feel this scared. So helpless and angry at yourself that you couldn’t do anything.

Fix me.

The words had stayed with you. Together with the pain when they were spoken. You couldn’t. The only thing you could do was be there for him when he fixed himself – and shockingly, you wanted to do exactly that. In fact, you wanted to do more than that. You wanted to be the one that brings him his food when he’s feeling too weak to go to meals and you wanted to hug him and tell him over and over again that nothing about him was wrong. That he could change and he could get through this. He was strong enough. You knew it.

Is this what friendship is supposed to feel like?

***

You sat in the Room of Requirements when he walked in.

It was the same room you had been in two weeks ago when you looked for Christmas presents. A small fire crackled in the fireplace and you sat on the couch with a warm blanket and your favorite book.

“Hi,” Draco said simply.

Surprised, you looked up from your book. You hadn’t expected him to come here. “How did you find me?”, you asked.

Draco gave a half shrug. “You weren’t in the library and your friends said, you wanted to be alone for a while. So I figured.”

He looked a lot better than three days ago. He wore his usual black suit again and his hair was flawless. Not a single strand was out of place. But the exhaustion was still visible on him and his posture seemed a little too stiff as stood in the doorway.

“Who did you ask?”, you wanted to know. Scooting over, you gestured him to take a seat next to you.

“Granger.”

A low chuckle escaped your lips.

“And yes,” he continued as he sat down. “It was just as awkward as you imagine it right now.”

You snorted. “Well, I appreciate the effort.”

There was an uncomfortable silence. You didn’t know what to say. Hey, remember when you had that panic attack and hid from me for three days? Yeah. Probably not. Besides, you couldn’t be mad that he wanted to be alone. You didn’t blame him for it. It was understandable and you weren’t entitled to his attention. However, it still hurt.

“I have to apologize again”, he began.

With a sigh, you put the book on the small coffee table in front of the sofa. “You already did that,” you said. “It’s okay.”

Draco rubbed over his neck. He didn’t apologize very often apparently, judging by his discomfort. “No, for … the past days.”

A smile appeared on your lips. “It’s fine. You had … people in your house who took care of you.”

Draco shot you a glance, knowing well what you were referring to. “I didn’t want her to.”

You immediately felt dumb and insensitive. Merlin, why would you say this to him. “Draco…no,” you groaned. “No, this wasn’t what I meant. I feel stupid, urgh.”

“I –”, he started but you cut him off.

“Do not apologize. You’re going through a hard time. Obviously,” you shook your head. Then your voice became a little softer: “I understand that and I just want you to become better. I can’t believe I somehow made that about me, I’m sorry.”

He smiled at you. “Don’t be. It’s confusing for all of us.”

You nodded and leaned back against the couch. A few days ago, you would’ve touched him in some little way. Now there was a distance between you. It made you wonder if what happened changed the dynamic between the two of you. “So, how are you?”, you broke the silence.

He shrugged again and looked into the fire. “How are you?”

“I’m okay. I was worried about you.”

“I’m supposed to see a therapist now.”

A rush of happiness made your eyes lit up at his sentence. “Yeah … that was my idea.”

“Really?”, he turned to and a small smirk played around the corners of his lips. You were so relieved to see it. “Well, sounds like you.”

You chuckled. “Did you already see them?”

He shook his head. “Tomorrow. It wasn’t easy to find one. It’s not that common in our world.”

Even though he was right, you were surprised by how fast McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey started looking for one. Maybe they finally realized how important it was for the students to actually deal with their traumas and not just take sleeping potions.

“Well, I’m glad,” you announced.

“Let’s see how it goes. Father used to make fun of them a lot,” his eyes flickered to fire again and his voice changed as he remembered. “He said it was one of the reasons why the muggles are so weak. They can’t even deal with their own life.”

What a load of bullshit, you thought and wondered if his mother shared those opinions. She must have. How else would a woman survive a marriage with a man like that. You stayed silent though.

Draco looked at you again. “Thank you.”

You tilted your head in confusion. “For what?”

“Being there,” he explained. “You didn’t have to.”

“I’m your girlfriend, aren’t I?”, you joked.

“I mean … not really though,” he smirked again. There it was – that little stinging near your heart. You ignored it.

“True,” you replied. “Still, you’re my friend.”

Draco nodded. He leaned back against the sofa and by the way he stretched out his leg, you could tell he was starting to feel more relaxed now. “What I said to you … what I want you to do …”, he cleared his throat while fidgeting with the hem of the blanket. “I overreacted. I … don’t expect you to …”

He had trailed off but you knew what he was trying to say. “I’m happy to hear that,” you admitted softly. Then you reached for his hand. “I will be here and support you for as long as you let me, Draco. Please know that.”

Draco looked at your entangled hands and then back at you. “Thank you.” His eyes met yours and for some reason, you couldn’t look away. You were mesmerized by them and they reminded you of a storm in the middle of November while …

“Well,” you loudly announced and broke the eye contact. “It’s getting too fluffy in here.”

Draco laughed softly. It was a low sound that resonated within you.

“Can I see it?”, you suddenly asked before you could think about it.

He furrowed his brows. “What do you mean?”

“The wound,” you pointed at his arm. “Or is it still bandaged?”

“No, but … she managed to heal it,” he nervously licked over his lips. “There are no … residues.”

“What about the mark?” It was probably too straightforward. But you didn’t care as you had already seen it once now in a worse situation.

“Still there,” his gaze lingered on his arm as if he saw right through the black jacket. “Didn’t work, I suppose.”

“Can I see it?”

Draco’s head snapped in your direction. “Y/N …”

You just looked at him calmly. His eyes darted back and forth between his arm and you and you practically saw how he thought about all the options he had right now. Did he trust you enough for this? If not, why didn’t he after he allowed you to see him in his most vulnerable moment?

With a sigh, he suddenly got up and out of his jacket. He threw it on the armchair, before he began to roll up his sleeve and sat back down, holding the arm your direction. You leaned forward.

There it was. A huge, black memory of a life that was no longer his. The constant reminder of the pain and suffering that followed the Mark wherever it was seen. It stood in sharp contrast to his skin, just as you remembered. Now, however, you were able to see the whole thing. The wound was almost completely gone, only a little redness remained. You wondered how it must have felt when they burned it on his skin.

Without thinking about it, you raised a hand and touched it. Draco shuddered and his arm twitched. You looked up at him, wondering if it hurt. It didn’t seem that way. At least not physically. His eyes were fixated on the pillow and you noticed the way he clenched his jaw. Turning your attention back on the mark, you began to trace the outlines of it with your finger.

„I always thought it would feel … different,” you mumbled. Then you looked up at him again. You saw how he tried to blink away tears and once again, your heart broke. “We’ll be okay, Draco.”

“I know,” he whispered. “I know.”

***

A/N: Thank you for reading! <3 What do you think about it? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this chapter, my loves <33

CHAPTER 12

Choose Me Instead Masterlist HP Masterlist

Tag List: @writerdee1701, @youareinllve, @sjmahoney, @detroitobsessed, @takura-rin, @jadam268, @wynterwind, @mina672, @renaissance-confiance, @harpoon999, @doitforthevine67, @rinasrights, @flowerpowerpixie, @gold-flowing, @starkssnarks, @bookcornerkins, @harpersmariano, @markedsweetly, @iraniq, @pointlesscoconut, @hvrcruxes, @pillowjj, @idkatee, @jungjxxhyun, @magicwithaknife, @graystherapy, @sophia-gwendolyn, @nxstalgicnxbxdy, @sunsetsofanemoia, @s4dthrills, @tommy-holland, @lordfxxker, @streetfighterrichie, @awaken-the-sirens, @destiels-assbutt13, @pockitparks, @just-addicted-to-bangtan, @cuddlykoala101, @zpandaqueen, @marvelpeters, @natsiboo, @jjjmaybank, @justmesadgirl, @books-and-tings, @slytherinprincedracom, @katiaw2, @saintkore, @nctnight, @lifestragedy, @obxmxybxnk, @spideydobik , @ladylizzieofdarbyshire, @aspiring-ginger, @dracomalfoyswifey, @jpow345, @realistic-breadstick, @h-annahayy, @abbs-is-tired, @alwaysbeanunknownfan, @niallsarmveinstho, @is-this-a-febreze-commercial, @acciowilltolive, @spideysmcu, @sexytholland, @faangirl101, @donttellany1iusetumbler, @mendesmuffinsss, @lilxnvm, @kill-the-teen-memories, @darkusangelus, @p0gue420, @itsbebeyyy, @hesaidimcrazy, @jenniweaslee, @hpxpjo, @brisbubble, @xomaymay, @shitnstuffillregret, @serialkillme, @angel-tears15, @panicattheeverywherekid, @obsssedwithjustaboutanything, @africana-k , @disgraceisonfire, @nobleking, @tashii-blr, @ddaeing, @randogirlo-fando-main, @sadgirlnumber92899, @captivateing, @bitchyegirl, @smiithys, @ninipoo1, @intheawks, @cherrylita, @nothanksnyla, @calpal-4ever, @dracosathenaeum, @belsandthings, @lifeasdreamgirl, @kiwi-sloan, @xdmx, @lexy-ravenclawdracomalfoy, @kvyenxay, @live-awkward, @babebenhardy, @bitchysweets-blog, @cravingmusic, @frau-moon, @ohissandhalasta, @noravirginia1994, @broken-but-beautiful-cassie, @lil-black-heart, @obsssedwithjustaboutanything, @vminenthusiastt, @dracos-slut, @ohbabycal, @saucysuazo, @fuzzzwald, @matsuno-nadeshiko, @amber-arsenault

If you want to be added to my tag list, let me know <3

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theji · 4 years ago

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我的世界守则 The Rules of My World: An Analysis

I came across this video while browsing Weibo last night. It was taken during Yibo's rehearsal for his 'The Rules of My World' performance. I've listened to the song countless times and I like it, the rhythm and all, and the dance. But as with many rap music, I don't pay attention to the lyrics. I suddenly realised I don't really know what the song is talking about, save for the few phrases that stood out. That sparked my interest and inspired today's post. I had previously done some analysis of Zhan's songs, so it's Yibo's turn.

Disclaimer: I am not a professional translator or lyricist. And obviously I'm not Yibo nor do I know him personally, so I can't say for sure what the song is really about. The following analysis is purely based on my personal interpretation. It has CPN components. Please skip if you don't believe that BJYXSZD.

'The Rules of My World' is the 2nd song that Yibo penned the lyrics to himself. The fact that he wrote the lyrics is significant and makes the song worth analysing. 2019's 'Wu Gan' was more 'inward-looking'; about Yibo expressing his own thoughts on navigating the entertainment industry. To me, 'The Rules of My World' is him making a statement, a stand, at the same time, he's sending a message to those he cares about - GG and his (real) fans. Yibo released this song on 30 Dec 2020. The timing is interesting cos it like he's summing up his sentiments based on the events that took place during the year. To outsiders, 2020 was a good year for Yibo. He had many endorsements, projects, high exposure, his commercial value rose. But in CPN reality, 2020 was terrible for so many reasons. GG's incident, him being overworked, crazy fan wars and antis etc etc..anyone who cares about Yibo would be delusional to think he had it good last year.

欢迎你们来加入我的世界 (You're welcome to join my world)

入场券上面有正义的光源 (There's a light of justice on the admission ticket)

DD is giving fans an open invitation to enter his world, to understand him as a person and not just an idol. And he also hopes that his world can bring some light to the fans' world, to bring some positivity, encouragement and guidance to them.

此生面对严厉又仁慈的一切 (In this life we'll face harshness but also kindness)

轻松一点，我们一起度过黑夜 (Just relax, together we'll overcome darkness)

In the entertainment world (or life in general), there will be ups and downs, criticisms and compliments. Regardless of what may come, we can overcome any challenges together. Darkness here could also refer to the antis who seem determined to bring GGDD down. This could be a message to fans - to tell them that they don't always have to rush to defend him, and they don't need to retaliate (aka fan wars). It could also be a message to GG, to make a stand of solidarity and to reassure GG that DD will face any challenges alongside him.

新的征途 (A new journey)

愚蠢的，不好相处 (These fools, they aren't easy to get along with)

愚蠢的，不会打住 (These fools, they won't stop)

但衬托明天更耀眼的路 (But they will set off a brighter path for tomorrow)

It was said that DD matured considerably after the 2*7 incident. Took up more responsibility, became more focused on his career and mindful of future advancements etc. Started to take on more serious acting projects and to shift his career trajectory towards something more sustainable and less 'idol'. The new journey could be a reference to this new path. The fools - the antis, those against GGDD - may have caused damage but their actions have also sparked off DD's desire to do better and to find his footing in the entertainment industry. He now has a clearer view of what he wants, the path he wants to take.

我是我的样子 (This is how I am)

我生来就固执 (I was born stubborn)

讲自己的故事 (I'll tell my own story)

活独特的气质 (Living my unique self)

Follow me, 找到自己的价值 (Follow me, find your own value)

不去迎合别人活才会觉得有意思 (Life is interesting if you don't cater to others)

我的世界不退让 (It's my world I won't give in)

Here, DD is being assertive. This is me, I follow my own rules, I'll make my own decisions, I'll forge my own path, I won't be influenced, I won't give up on my beliefs. So antis, capitalists etc can f*ck off.

It could also be seen as an advice to his fans - to follow his lead and live their own lives. This is also something that GG has repeatedly said to fans - to focus on their own lives, personal relationships, studies, careers etc. Don't devote so much time on chasing idols, online fan wars etc.

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

乐观地，走向前 (Just move forward with optimism)

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

无所谓，多危险 (Doesn't matter how dangerous it is)

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

这是我的世界 (This is my world)

我世界的守则，不许你诡辩 (These are the rules of my world, I won't allow any sophistry)

I see this as DD's words of encouragement, to himself and to GG. Despite all the challenges and hardship, darkness will pass and the sun will come out eventually. And it's shining brightly, there is hope left in this world, there's is much to look forward to. So don't fear, be brave and forge ahead.

Sophistry: the use of clever but false arguments, especially with the intention of deceiving

Poor DD is always hit with industry rumours, about him dating his co-stars etc. Last year, someone even made a false police report against him. Just look at the number of statements his company had to put out. There have also always been ongoing rumours about rivalry between GGDD, tales of backstabbing etc, especially in 2020 at the height of the incident. DD is saying that this is his life, his world. No one knows better than the both of them. So to those who don't know better but continue to spew nonsense about his life and relationships and spread hate, know that I don't care about your antics, they don't hurt me but I won't tolerate them as well.

在我世界行走 (Walking in my world)

什么人生主题你透露 (What kind of life theme do you envisage)

是胆大勇猛所向披靡 (Is it to be bold, courageous and invincible)

或胆小逃避钻进壳里 (Or to be timid and escape into your shell)

喧闹倾诉众人party (Is it to pour out your troubles at a rowdy party)

寂寞相思不停地哭泣 (Or to cry silently non-stop out of loneliness and love-sickness)

都欢迎你来我这里 (All are welcome)

只要跟从自己的内心 (So long as you follow your heart)

跟限制和噪音说一声 bang bang (I'll say 'Bang Bang' to restriction and noises)

怪兽都退散 (Monsters, be gone)

What kind of person am I in your eyes? The cool guy or soft sweet babie Yibo? Here, DD is acknowledging that the public has many different perceptions of him, and fans love different personas of him and he's ok with that. But if you love him, then let him be. Don't try to restrict him, don't quarrel or force him into a certain mould of your preference. He won't hesitate to shoot the haters (monsters) down.

迈出轻盈的步伐 (Take a light step forward)

一声令下 (With a single command)

来宣布告别孤勇 (To announce a farewell to having to fight alone)

On this new path, with a new-found realisation of what he wants, DD is clear of what he wants to achieve and he is no longer burdened by fear, uncertainties etc. Both GGDD now have each other by their sides, they share a common purpose as they navigate the intricacies of the entertainment industry together and work their way to the top. And I think this is something that we're seeing more in the fandom since end 2020 - GGDD seemingly becoming more bold in their actions and messages they put out (silent or otherwise).

想要做盘旋的龙 (Wanna be a hovering dragon)

还想做懒散的虫 (Or a lazy worm)

别打扰我走开没空 (Don't bother me, go away, I have no time for that)

In public, DD is that proud and confident king. He's not a pushover. But behind the cameras, he just wants to chill and relax (and play games). Please don't bother me, give me some privacy to lead my own life, don't tell me what I can or cannot do.

Cue DD's message. He meant it.

Follow me, 找到自己的价值 (Follow me, find your own value)

不去迎合别人活才会觉得有意思 (Life is interesting if you don't cater to others)

我们永远不退让 (We will never give in)

This is a repetition of the earlier verse but what has changed is the last 2 lines. From <It's my world I won't give in>, DD now says <We will never give in>. This was actually the first thing that sparked off my CPN, and hinted to me that this song concerns GG in some ways. Who's We? We all know how GGDD almost always use the word 'we' in their CQL promo interviews and bts, as though they come as a package and all views represent both of them as a entity. This also echoes the earlier sentiments - both of them, after the 2020 incident, have developed a steely resolve. They won't let the antis or challenges or societal views hold them back anymore. Their world, their rules. They will fight for their rights and what they believe in, and they are determined to reach their goals.

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

乐观地走向前 (Just move forward with optimism)

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

无所谓多危险 (Doesn't matter how dangerous it is)

阳光耀眼 (The sun is dazzling)

这是我的世界 (This is my world)

我们的世界不会被改变 (Our world will never be changed)

Again, similar to the above 'we' example. From this part of the song onwards, DD is referring to them both. The last line could also be viewed as an affirmation of GGDD's commitment to each other. Whatever is it, our relationship will not change. We will go through it all together.

Don‘t stop, get it, get it

Let me see you work up on it

Don’t stop, get it, get it

Let me see you all up on it

Let me see you work up on it

Don‘t stop, get it, get it

Don't stop

Hey

I interpret this as DD's words of encouragement to GG. Like don't stop fighting, continue to work hard towards your (our) goals. Go for it, you can do it!

在我的世界 (In my world)

本能很关键 (Instinct is the key)

坚持自己 (Stay true to yourself)

就是你们的世界 (It is your world)

DD's parting words to fans: to stay true to oneself, to build and enrich your own worlds, to fight for your goals, like how he is trying.

Well, I had fun working on this. Maybe I'll do Wu Gan another time. Reminded me of literature class during my schooling days, although I never did Chinese literature back then. Feel free to share your thoughts on the song with me. =D

#wang yibo #bjyx #bjyxszd #yizhan #the ji's song of the moment

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yunhostinyuyu · 4 years ago

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don’t be so naive - part one

pairing: prince!yeosang x princess!reader ft. brother!seonghwa

genre: royal au, angst, little fluff

wc: 3.6k

synopsis: your parents got themselves into a hassle, and the only way out involves you and a handsome Prince from a neighbouring kingdom...

warnings: arranged marriage, mentioned murder, mentioned ambush

—

“I expected to find you here.” you turn your head around from the corner of the glasshouse you were currently hiding at. It was your older brother with a relieved look painted on his face as he saw you in between the plants, playing with one of the many cats that found home in the ginormous park like garden your family got to call their own. It wasn’t very princess-like, you knew that, but you liked the nature. And despite living in a giant castle with countless rooms, this was the only place were you could truly catch a break and think. Seonghwa however just beat you to it, which made the stray cats jump out of your lap and run into the nearest bushes, looking after thier retreading froms for as long as possible to avoid the conversation with your brother that you could no longer hide from.

Turning your back back to him, you sigh, “Don’t wanna talk, leave me alone.” trying to shrug him off, but knowing him, he wouldn’t leave until he got to say what he came here for. You fumble with some fallen leaves and blossoms that are already dead, lying infront of you on the cobbled ground. Thoughts about the stone cold reality your parents confronted you with just hours ago still fresh in your mind.

“Since things haven’t gone smoothly recently and we have gotten ourselves in quite a bit of trouble, we had to ask around in the kingdoms nearby for help. We found a wealthy family willing to support us, but... their oldest son is going to marry you in return. We are deeply sad about this, since we know you didn’t want this, but this is the only way. If you reject, they won’t help us and we will be doomed.”

You hated this. They were giving you no options. And even if you would do everything to help your family out of their mess, this was the only thing you would never want to do. Being young, free, on your own. Riding the horses out into the woods and shooting animals in the mountains, practicing your archery skills and gardening all the rare flowers and plants from all over the world... this is what you lived for. Being forced into a marriage would mean for you to quit all those things and never be able to do them again. Only because of the mistakes your parents caused.

Seonghwa reaches his hand towards you, nodding his head back where he entered the little shelter. „If we had more time I would let you alone, but that’s not the case. Please, just walk around with me and listen, will you?“.

Even if your parents were the definition of evil, your brother clearly wasn’t. He is the only person you could lean on and most importantly, trust. The both of you really loved your parents, regardless of their wrong doings. Like they said, love makes blind, and that doesn’t only apply to romatic relationships. Whenever the news about your parents broke, murdering other kings and queens, raiding them of all thier belongings just to name the worst, You and Seonghwa have always turned a blind eye - or a deaf ear - towards the accusations and defended them regardless. But deep in your heart, you knew that they have overstepped many borders, and were now stuck.

Groaning to yourself, you pulled yourself up to your feet and patted the dirt of your skirt before following your brother around the garden as he started to state the facts, and quite frankly, what’s at stake here:

„You should know that they arranged a meeting with him already. He could arrive any minute, and he‘s eager to see you.“ he said, earning another groan from you, but this time out of pure frustration. This was moving too fast, only adding to the irritation that was already building up inside of you for hours, now threatening to come loose.

„Seonghwa,“ you started, but stopped for a second as you interwined your fingers with the older ones. „I don’t wanna do this. You‘re eager to marry, why don‘t you go ahead? They surely have many daughters desperate to get a man like you. Not to mention you‘re the oldest out of us.“ you tried to push the responsibility onto him, but he only scoffed in reply. He looked down to you, before dipping his chin towards his chest. Seeing faint traces of sadness resurface on his face. Your gut told you that he wasn’t happy about bringing you those news, but yet, it was his duty. He was the only one you’re willing to listen to, but you cursed at yourself and wishing you would have stayed in the glasshouse with the cats.

„They specifically asked for you. Even if I wanted to take your place, they don’t want me. Just you.“ he tried his best to stay serious and not show his outrage, staying calm instead. Whipping your head towards him and slowing your movements, „What if I do reject him? For all I know he could be some old, disgusting person. And it wouldn’t be so bad if they denied their support, surely there are other-“

Seonghwa stopped and pulled you by your shoulder, his glance boring holes into your skull. „Then they will kill us all, Y/N, don’t you get it? They are the only people willing to help us, because everyone else is out to murder us! If you deny, then you can already start planning your funeral, aswell as mine and our parents’. This is the last straw - no, you are the last straw.“

The words hit you with more force than ever before, ducking your head away from his heated stare and trying to get away. You sighed. This really wasn’t your usual way of handling things, and it only added to your bad feeling. Being weak and hiding wasn’t really like you at all, and you swore to yourself in that very moment, in Seonghwas harsh grip and angsty eyes, that no matter what happened - you were staying strong and true to yourself. And if it was the last thing you were doing. Taking a deep breath before you met his eyes for the first time in what felt like ages, your confidence struck.

„Okay. I will do it. There is no choice, so I‘ll have to do it.“

He sighed, but a small smile stretched his lips, “I know you will, and you can. But father send me not to console you, but to get yourself dressed and ready for Yeosang.” He started to walk again, aim back on the entrance back into the giant hallways of your home. Heading towards one of the rooms that had a majority of your fancier attire. Leaving you alone in the room as soon as you two arrive, but sending in the tailor just a few minutes later. Indicating how important the meeting actually is to your parents. As if their life depended on it, which it ironically did.

Yeosang, Yeosang, Yeosang... you thought to yourself while the familiar person started to work on your clothing. You heard that name before, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. May it be from on of the many balls and festivities you attended when you were younger, which basically were failed attempts to find a fitting spouse for both you and Seonghwa. And there were so many handsome, young, intelligent and athletic princes pining at you, but in the end you turned them all down. Secretly hoping that he wasn’t one of the many rejected boys, or else things are garantueed to turn awkward the moment he steps foot into your home.

After what felt like hours of the tailor getting you dressed in one of the finest dresses and brushing your long hair to hang loosely over your shoulders and chest, you heard a knock on the door and spotted two pairs of curious eyes peaking in. It was Seonghwa alongside your mother, whose eyes were puffy and nose was red from assumingly crying. The arm of Seonghwas tall form reached around her shoulder, trying to hold her steady. The tailor left after the finishing touches and your mother crashed into your arms, crying uncontrollably into your hair.

She sobbed so much it was hard to understand everything she was saying, other than that she was sorry and that she would miss you. You looked at your tall brother for advice on how you should react or what to say, but he just shrugged and extended a hand to pull her away from you. The longer you were trapped in her shaky arms, the final realisation grew larger and larger, that you would have to leave your family and not be able to see them for a very long time.

„Don’t worry about me mother. I can handle myself. And I will sure to visit when it’s possible... And I still have to teach Seonghwa how to shoot a dove with an arrow the right way, no?“ you joked half heartedly in a try to make her smile and take the strange negativity which was tangible in the air, away. It was an inside joke between your sibling and you, but your mother understood what you meant. But the lack of a response just supported your fear that you would not be able to go hunting ever again.

Seonghwa nudged you, as he held out his hand for you to take. Your mother waved you off, telling you to go ahead and not let them wait since she was still trying to collect herself from her excessive crying. Once again, the only reliable person in your life was next to you, pushing the stinging fact about this being the last time you will be with him for who knows how long - maybe even forever - to the side. They really took everything you had away from you, just to save themselves, and a strange, bitter taste formed in your mouth, starting to rethink the entire situation. The unconditional love slowly started to wear off, and this was only the start of it.

Before you turned the last corner into the main hall you stopped and pulled your brother back a few steps to make sure the others didn’t recognise him before you spoke your mind. Clearly hearing how your father was currently chirping a cheerful conversation with the family of your future husband as a distraction for their long wait, and how you hated the sound of that already.

“Can you promise me one thing? Not as the Prince, but as my brother?” You whispered after you caged his rough hands innetween your thin fingers and held his fist against your chest, for him to feel your heartbeat. Nodding in reply, watching your movements very closely, as if he tried to memorise this for him to remember forever. “Promise me that I will be able to see you again after I leave. And promise me you make sure the kingdom stays safe. I want to come back and rule with you once the time is right...”

His expression turned soft, and he pulled your small body into a brief hug, murmuring quietly, “I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep Y/N, but I will promise you with my entire heart that I will try my best. This is your home, no matter what happens, and I will always be here for you.” Tears were about to appear in your eyes, but as the two of you heard the dark voice of your father shout for your attendance, you quickly pulled away and swallowed the tears down.

Following closely after Seonghwa, stepping into view for the strangers to eye you curiously. You stood next to his throne and kept your gaze fixed on the floor, nor daring to look at them yet. As your father introduced you to his family, the stranger, which you assumed to be your future man, took a step forward and tapped his foot lightly against the stone cold floor, showing his impatience roughly. Still not daring to look him into the eyes, but he came closer and closer towards you, when he suddenly went down on one knee and pulled a giant diamond ring out of the back pocket of his slacks.

“Let’s make this quick, yes?” were his first and only words, and you finally looked him into his eyes, immediately regretting all your previous life choices.

His hair was dark brown and parted down the middle, his eyes held the fires of hell and the clouds of heaven in them at the same time. His high cheek bones and sharp jawline only adding to the attractiveness of him. His expression was unreadable, since you were indeed looking at a stranger. The longer you inspected his face and body, you assured yourself that you have never seen this man before, which was at least a little thing that made everything a little less worse. His hand snatched your wrist pretty forcefully, which almost made you jolt, but keeping the control over your body and balance, you stood straight. His gentle fingers fidgeting with your small hand, pushing the cold metal of the ring onto your ringfinger, and placing a soft but rushed kiss onto the back of your hand.

“It’s official then. Time to say goodbye.” The older man behind your fiancée spoke. You looked around for Seonghwa, but his gaze told you to stay still and not do anything crazy. Turning towards your father and bowing at the hip, you waved him goodbye, and did the same to your brother. This is happening. This is really happening. What am I gonna do now? rushed thoughts made you forget your surroundings for a moment, and before you even realized, you were on your way out of your home, Yeosang snaking his arm around your waist to guide you out.

Leading you out of your home and into their coach which was pulled by four big, brown horses. Taking a seat on the back, with Yeosang plopping down right next to you, and the proximity making your palms sweaty. Anxiety was bubbling in your stomach and through every other part of your body, and you didn’t dare to say something yet. Even if you were marrying their son and were going to stay with them for a very long time, you felt uneasy about everything. Like something was wrong... What were you going to do with all your time? All the things that kept you busy were all cancelled. Should you read? Cook? What do they even expect from this whole thing, other than the help your parents depended on? Questions over questions, no answers. In due time, you would get the answers, but first you needed to learn how to open your mouth Infront of them.

A threatening, long silence laid over the two of you, but after some time had passed, Yeosang clears his throat before he starts talking: “It should only take us four more hours until we arrive in Sangju. You may lean on me if you want to rest.” He suggested, and you eyed him, still unsure. Shaking your head after a few moments, declining his offer, “I’m well, thank you.”. You let your eyes wander over the landscapes to make him stop looking at you. Thankfully it worked.

After a long journey, your travel route finally came to a stop at what would be Yeosang’s family home… And now also your home. When you tried to stand up, you stumbled for a few steps, before regaining your balance again. Looking around you, his parents were watching you already. His father wore a strict look on his face, but his mother was shining, showing her teeth to you and trying to seem welcoming towards you. Even if it was just a tiny act of kindness, you felt a little less lost on your shoes. Your future husband stood next to you as he entered the giant gates of their castle.

“We should head to the main hall, for our two love birds to sign the marriage certificate.” His father exclaimed while pasting through the giant corridors. You looked a bit lost in the giant building, yet the sudden placement of the princes’ hand back on the small of your waist calmed your nerves for what ever reason. It might be from the physical touch, since what else would it be? He was still a stranger.

Shortly after you signed the documents, they brought you to the quarters you were to share with the prince, or now your husband, you started wondering for how long they have been planning this. Obtaining these sort of documents would take several weeks at least. Starting to think of the true intentions of these people. What could they possibly want from you? Money? No, they surely had enough... maybe fame? But still, what was your part in that? You were renowned for being “not suitable for marriage”, so yet again - where was the catch? Walking up and down the giant bedroom in a hurry, your thoughts were overwhelming you. Only did you wish to be able to seek Seonghwa’s advice, or be able to run away. It was all way too sketchy.

“May I come in, my grace?” Yeosang asked, the door being opened only a few inches to peek in. Noticing your distressed state, but choosing not yet to comment on it. You slowed your hasty footsteps and sat down on the foot of the bed. He sat down beside you, like you were sitting in your travel here, but now you were alone. But that made you feel more angsty. Even if you were not married in a formal way, the documents are signed. You were, in fact, husband and wife now.

You sighed deeply, catching his attention again. “Your highness, I believe I do not quite understand what is expected of me as your wife. And I’m worried about the well being of my family. I gave up all my hopes and dreams for the future to come here, so they may be saved.” You explained. He eyed you carefully, your words were thick with desparation, but the tone in your voice didn’t indicate your emotions about the matter. “Now, Now, my grace, do not mistaken our efforts to help as a way to ruin your future. In fact, I do believe we might have a bright future ahead of us. I am your newly wed husband after all, am I not? Please, I want you make you feel as welcome as possible, let me or anyone know if something is not to your liking. We ought to take care of it.” He announced, before slipping off the bed and heading back outside. Sudden alarm going off in your head:

“Yeosang,” you started, suprising both of you by your informality towards the older man, “I have one request, if I might.” He nodded, turning on his heel to look at you again. “Of course, anything for you, my lady. What is bothering you?”

swallowing down the thick blob of nervousness before continuing with your request: “I don’t know much of the deal between your parents of mine, but can you please ensure me, that my brother will not endear any form of pain or injustice... I wouldn’t be able to look at myself anymore if anything were to happen to him..."

"Now, don’t be so naive, my grace. Our intentions are purely out of charity.” Yeosang swiftly interrupted your ramblings. Taking your gaze off of him and hiding your hand behind the back of your hand, a sob slipped out of your lips.

He stayed still for a moment, collecting his thoughts. “Does your dear brother mean a lot to you?” You simply nod your head while collecting yourself again from almost bursting into tears at the mere thought of Seonghwa being in pain. “Seonghwa is everything I have. Had... he was the only one who I could trust and who would understand the, uhm... the scandals revolving our parents. He is truly the only sencire person in my family.” explaining while panting softly, his eyes turned soft after seeing you so vulnerable right infront of him. Taking a few steps back to your direction, cupping your cheek lightly with his big palm, and meeting your gaze. “I will ensure your brothers safety, there will be no need to worry. But now you should rest, we will show you everything that you can do to entertain yourself tomorrow. I will join you shortly.”

After a few moments of intaking the intimacy between you two strangers, he detached himself from you and you felt cold and alone. It made you creeped out at the strong emotions and feelings he errupted inside you. Also wondering if he would take your innocence away from you, since this would be your wedding night. But before you could ask anything else, he stood up and walked out of the bedroom. But regardless the mess inside your mind, his words brought calm to your mind, and you were able to lay down and close your eyes for a short while.

Meanwhile, Yeosang entered his fathers study, interrupting him doing important paperwork:

“It’s about the brother. Take him to Keomgyu, make him marry one of my cousins, but you shan’t kill him. They are aware of thier parents mishaps, but do not support them at all. He could do good for our kingdom, so again: I ask you not to kill him.”

—

#yeosang #ateez #ateez yeosang #ateez fic #ateez au #ateez fluff #ateez writing #ateez x reader #ateez angst #yeosang x reader #royal!au #prince yeosang #seonghwa #yeosang angst #I was kinda inspired by bridgerton midway through writing #maybe a part two?

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jeonjk0504 · 4 years ago

Note

why didn’t you say anything about the racism bts have faced these past days :(

Hey anon!

I actually haven‘t been online here because of the racism debate. I was on twitter and was supporting it there on two accounts nonstop! if you want to follow me, my @ is also jeonjk0504 :)

You are completely right though, i should have spoken up on my platform here sooner, to educate my followers on this really important matter!

If i make mistakes or should word things differently, please let me know, as you can tell i‘m not native.

The short version:

Credits to @ squishykosmos (twt)!

What happened?

3 days ago, the german radio host Matthias Mattuschik from the station Bayern3 spew racist remarks about BTS because of their MTV Unplugged cover of coldplay. He is a fanboy of coldplay and only wanted to introduce their song ‚Fix you‘ but somehow it was necessary to explain to his listeners why it was an utter insult that BTS had an MTV unplugged concert (he called it paradox, because it‘s a boyband) where they were allowed to cover his favorite song. Coldplay allowed the cover by the way and even commented on it positively.

Here are two links from his original rant, translated in english:

https://twitter.com/bts_updates_ger/status/1365211269133971458?s=21 (Part 1)

https://twitter.com/atinystrawbery/status/1365052883771785219?s=21 (Part 2)

As a german i know that to other people our language sounds quite agressive in general, but this is a whole different level. This isn‘t said in a jokingly way, it‘s pure hatred.

He called BTS a virus against which hopefully there will be a vaccine soon, that their cover of coldplay is blasphemy and that they are little pisser who should get a 20-year vacation in North Korea. Considering the rising violence against Asians all over the world because of Covid, his speech is extremely harmful and normalizes hate against Asians apart from the fact that it was racism in it’s purest form. Why the wish for a South Korean Group to have vacation in the North Korean dictatorship is inhumane and racist, i hopefully don‘t have to explain further. He even said, he can‘t be xenophobic, because he drives a korean brand car (which turned out to be japanese). The new ‚i can‘t be racist, i have a black friend‘.

This also hasn‘t been the first time, in 2018 he made an antisemetic comparison between smoker and jews for which he got a little attention, but no consequences.

Furthermore ARMY dug up a picture on his instagram from 2020 with the caption ‚ Is more evidence needed?!?,‘

A short note:

What makes this even more infuriating is that the radio station is regulated by public-law and german citizens are OBLIGATED to pay for it. We literally are forced to pay money to a radio station that broadcasts openly racist slurs! And no, it‘s not allowed. They have policies that explicitly say they are not allowed to discriminate, they have to support diversity and have to be politically and economically independant.

Do they give a fuck? Apparently not really.

Did Bayern3 answer the hashtags and the pressure?

They did, first came a short nonpology where they said that the show, which Matthias Matuschik is broadcasting, is known for his direct and honest opinions and that he could have worded it better. They are sorry if anyone felt insulted, which is excusing the feeling of the fans, but not the act in itself.

After Army answered with the hashtag ‚Racism is not an opinion‘ and various media coverage surfaced, they posted a second ‚apology‘, where they -again- said that they are distancing themselves from what was said and Matthias has always been an avid supporter of refugees so he is very far away from being a racist. (Supporting refugees doesn’t excuse you from saying racist things though.) Matthias stated that he is shocked from the reactions, that he is ‚sorry if people felt what he said was racist‘ and that his family is getting death threats. (which is in no way acceptable of course.) They would review what was said so it doesn‘t happen again.

Here you can read the statements in german and translated in english:

First statement: https://twitter.com/bts_updates_ger/status/1365087239756259330?s=21

Second statement: https://twitter.com/bts_updates_ger/status/1365305564050382849?s=21

This would have probably been the beginning of a conversation, if Matthias wouldn‘t have went to facebook after his second apology to like a supporting post that basically stated that the topic is way overhyped and in the 80s you were allowed to say your opinion without people getting butthurt (this is a short form.) He completely revised his remorse literally the same day after the updated apology and supported a statement that was gaslighting the people who critized him. You can read the facebook post here:

https://twitter.com/traveltomyrm/status/1365321397342461957?s=21

Since then: Nothing. My mom told me yesterday they‘re playing dynamite a lot, i told her to switch the channel.

News Coverage

Thankfully, we got a lot of support from I-ARMY and K-ARMY, otherwise we wouldn‘t have been able to trend the hashtags day and night and kept them in the top categories in germany and worldwide. We also got a lot of support from international media who called out the racism and put them into context in really amazing articles. (Also K-Media and J-Media but i only have screenshots, no links) Here are a few of them:

https://rollingstoneindia.com/xenophobic-german-presenters-comments-about-bts-are-just-the-tip-of-the-racist-iceberg/

https://www.forbes.com/sites/bryanrolli/2021/02/26/bts-were-once-again-the-subject-of-racist-on-air-remarks-and-received-a-pathetic-non-apology/

We even got celebrities like halsey, max, lauv, steve aoki, JJ Ryan, DJ Swivel, Liam McEwan, Zara Larsson, MTV UK, Columbia Records and some more bring attention to the issue and show their support for BTS in the face of racism.

This support was probably the reason why we even got a second ‚apology‘, because guess what? German media ain‘t having it. Since the beginning of our protest, i think i saw 2 articles in total which actually called it racism, various newspapers and online magazines were downplaying it by talking about ‚insults‘ and concentrating on Matthias calling BTS pisser instead of quoting the actual racist remarks he made. We got no TV news whatsoever. So naturally, german locals looking at this protest think that Fans are going on a rampage because their favorite boygroup got insulted.

It has been maddening. The radio station and host have been trying to sit this whole thing out for days, in hope we lose energy over the weekend and it‘s draining to not be heard or taken seriously. For me it‘s still a priviledged perspective, because i don‘t have to bear consequences when this thing is over, one way or another. But for Asians in our country, also some of my friends, this horror in times of covid will continue. The lack of serious German Media coverage has been frustrating and embarrasing to say the least, but also shown again, that the topic gets overshadowed by prejudices against KPop, the fanbase and Asians as part of satirical fun (which it isn‘t).

Why is that?

This is my personal take and not a deep analysis, just my personal observations: Germany might be progressive in a lot of aspects, but they still have deeply ingrained every day racism against asians and they have a huge problem realizing and admitting to that. We don‘t have a lot of asian representation and there is a huge alieniation from asians for a lot of german 50+ (also less, but those are the ones in power mostly). Racism against Asians is not seen enough and people don‘t empathize, partly because they‘re white privileged people who don‘t have to live with certain stigma, partly because they simply don‘t care to educate themselves about minorities in their own country. This ignorance is widespread, if it doesn‘t happen in front of your doorstep, it‘s probably nonexistant. It‘s also not only reserved for Asians, january 2021 we had a talkshow where 5 white german people talked happily about what minorities such as Romani people think as insulting or racist. They did get a lot of backleash because obviously they talk about matters, without letting minorities be part of the discussion, but real consequences? Nope.

I doubt that this protest will get Matthias Matuschik fired (which it should if you are openly racist on a public platform), because the pressure is too low and the radio station has shown with their first statement that they thought it‘s rather funny than problematic. But i don’t know what‘s going to happen. Apart from being an ARMY, i am an adult who condemns racism in any way or form. Why german media chooses to overlook the essence of the debate and makes it a hystercial fanbase issue is beyond me.

If you want to have a look yourself, you can follow German Fanbase accounts, such as @ BTS_UPDATES_GER for updates in german and english.

And at last, here is a thread on how german media reproduces Anti Asian Racism : https://twitter.com/storiesbythuy/status/1366073706817196046?s=21

German Armys are trying to come up with a plan to gain more attention for the topic at the moment, so we‘ll see how things turn out! Please support us if possible!

#bts #bts germany #army against racism

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91percentpynch · 4 years ago

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the cut that always bleeds - kevaaron au pt 3

kejerejean stans? this one is for you. no seriously this one is out of jean‘s point of view? cuz honestly i love that hoe so much. as always get your tissues ready guys. this is actually kinda long? and a mess? and no one beta read it so if there are mistakes or it doesn‘t make sense i‘m sorry!! this is not that sad? tw: mention of murder, mention of physically hurting someone, mention of stabbing, mention of the nest, mention of trauma

check this out to find the other parts:)

Jean has always been a light sleeper. He had to be in order to survive the horrors of Evermore.

So naturally the sobs - as silent as they might have been - woke him up. His eyes opened at once, he sat straight up. Almost automatically he got to his feet and left the room to get to Kevin.

After all, comforting Kevin was like breathing to him.

Jeremy followed Jean, because he would always follow Jean. Jeremy was like a moth and Jean was the light. Wherever he went Jer would follow.

So they went to Kevin‘s room. The striker laid in his bed, curled up, phone in his hand, uncontrollable sobs escaping his mouth.

„I see you took the call this time“, Jean said, surprisingly gentle.

„I wanted to end it. I wanted to have a clear cut. So tell me, why does the cut still bleed?“, Kevin whispered, his voice barely audible.

„Because it‘s a cut that always bleeds“, Jeremy told Kevin as he came closer, carefully and ever so gentle placing his hands on the other boy‘s back.

„He said he wants me to come back to him“, Kevin whispered while holding onto himself as if to try to stop himself from falling apart. „He told me he misses me. That he only gets high when he misses me“

It was quiet in the dark room, shadows were dancing, just as Aaron and Kevin used to dance in the dead of night underneath the night sky.

„You did the right thing Kev“, Jean replied in French while he got into the Bed behind Kevin. Just like they used to do in the Nest.

When Kevin was in his arms he began to hum a French lullaby into his ear.

Jeremy joined them after a second of admiring his beautiful boyfriend and the broken boy in his arms.

„Dude, do you want something? Hot coca? A special Knoxian hug? Us to get Andrew to gut that bastard? Wait, hold on. I forgot. Twin brother. Well, I can gut him for you? Andrew and this is a word by word quote told be once ‚You‘re like a little unicorn in a world full of wolfs with razor sharp teeths, learn to gut the wolfs, stay safe‘, so he taught me how to stab someone? Yeah okay that is not the topic right now, I can still gut Aaron though. I mean Andrew would try to hurt me, but then again I‘m his best friend so he does not have the rights to gut me, right?“, Jeremy offered him a toothy grin, while his hand wandred to his neck rubbing it nervously.

„Can you please not gut him? First of all: Andrew already tried to choke me once when Josten was in danger and I told them where he was, cause apparently yOu DoN‘t KeEp ThOsE tHiNgS tO yOuRsElF yOu FuCkInG mOrOn. I think you do keep those things to yourself if the other option is to get fucking murdered by the mafia??? But what do I know, am I right? After all I‘m just a narcistic, Exy-obsessed asshole without a personality. Bonus I have anxiety, panic attacks, probably depression and I‘m unlovable“, Kevin mumbled into his pillow, the voices of the other foxes, of the other teams inside of his head.

„Did they tell you that?“, Jeremy asked, not quite able to hide the sadness and pain in his voice.

„Doesn‘t eveyone think that?“, Kevin asked. „I mean I think they tend to forget that the woman who gave birth to me, the last woman who geniuely loved me besides maybe Abby, invented the job. I think they tend to forget that the fucking mafia killed her when they found out I‘m not theirs by nature, so the only solution was apparently fucking murder. Then they kidnapped me, brainwashed and tortured me to the point where all I knew was Exy. Oh and maybe they also tend to forget that Ravens were only ever allowed to do Exy, if you were privilegded enough sleep, and do more Exy“

„Kevin you are so much more than that“, Jean whispered into Kevin‘s ear while pressing him against his chest. Just as they used to do in the Nest. „I might be mad at you, because you left me alone with those psychopaths. I used to think you didn‘t care about me. But you were just like me, okay with less scars and less you know. However I cannot say I wouldn‘t have done the same. I understand you now, Kevin. And please, please stop saying those things. And now let us cuddle you and let Jer go through his ridiculous post break-up list. We‘re gonna cuddle you and all you have to do is trying to fall asleep. Used to help me when I was alone at USC. Could only sleep properly when someone held me. Well, Jeremy. Tomorrow we‘ll shove unhealthy food down your throat and watch Downton Abbey or whatever those historcial dramas you love so much are called. While stroking your hand or whatever you‘re into big boy. Afterwards we‘ll take the dogs out and force you to watch the fucking sunset. And I‘ll hold your fucking hand“

Kevin supposed the middle of the night was the time of long lost truths. „Okay“, he mumbled while he moved closer to Jean. Replacing his smell with Jean‘s. It took him a while to fall asleep but he managed.

At the same time Jeremy said „Mi amor, I love you, I really do, but that was literally the most romantic thing you said in the past two years? That is way more romantic than ANY date you ever planned for me? Rude? The audacity?“

„Moi soleil, you don‘t have the ‚cult kidnapped me and tortured me‘ card you can pull, you get the bonus treatmeant of any other people. Besides I literally have matching tattoos with you? I drew you like multiply times? I wrote like a dozen poems and at LEAST one short story? I wrote you a fucking lullaby? You have no right to complain right now, or you‘ll loose your kissing privileges and I give them to Kevin“

„Eww gross“, Kevin mumbled.

„I don‘t remeber you saying that back in the Nest“, Jean replied, poking his cheek.

Kevin didn‘t have the energy to answer. It was a long day. Sleep could have him for the day. Death’s little sister might claim him for the night.

This night he dreamed about Aaron. Strong arms around his waist. Golden eyes locking with smaragd ones. They were on some lonely beach, kissing lazily while the water kissed their feet. It was a beautiful day. Not as beautiful as Aaron, but then again nothing would ever be as beautiful as this specific piece of art. Everything was alright. Everything was good. Why couldn‘t it be the real Aaron and the real Kevin on that beach.

At about noon Kevin woke up to a drooling Jeremy on his stomach and the smell of waffles and soft French swearing in the kitchen. Softly Kevin woke Jeremy up.

„Sorry I always end up on weird angles and drooling on random guys. Jean used to get so mad when I fell asleep in his lap. But you can‘t take him serious when he looks with you with heart eyes trying to be Mad, can you? Anyways we should probably go to him and help him? Oh wait hold on a hot second there. I‘m banned from the kitche, so we can sleep? Right? Right?“

„I hate to break this to you Jer, but it‘s noon. So, no we cannot sleep. You can choose my clothes, though. I know you love going through my stuff and playing dress the doll, Kevin Day edition“, Kevin almost smiled at Jeremy, when he looked up at him pouting.

Then he remembered another blonde boy, pouting at him when he told him no. Another constellation of freckles around another, straight, perfect nose. Sinful lips softly turned up, trying to look mad. Hazel eyes instead of ocean blue ones. Messy blonde curles, instead of soft badly dyed ginger ones. Strong arms instead of lean ones covered in flower tattoos. God, Kevin missed his Aaron.

No, not his. Not anymore

„Okay, but you have to wear to fab outfit I‘ll throw in your face“, Jeremy gave him another easy, toothy grin.

Slowly the other boy got out of bed and went over to the cabet. Slowly Jer went through Kevin‘s cloths. After a while he slowly turned around, holding a jersey that is obviously by far too small for Kevin in front of his face. „What is that? Why do you still have his jersey? Babe, you gotta get rid of that, rather sooner than later“

Jeremy had the weird habit of calling his friends babe, baby, dude or bro. Before Jean he called his boyfriends bro or dude as well, but Jean was so confused by it he quickly stopped doing it.

„First of all: I‘m a weak ass bitch, it smelled of it. And secondly maybe I wanna stab it once I‘m over the phase where I‘m like madly missing him?. I‘d just put it into a pillow, stab at it like a maniac and then set it on fire. I didn‘t grow up with a psychopath as my supposed best friend for nothing Jer“

„Okay? Well I got your clothes. And you‘ll look amazing, cause it‘s the FOX ONSIE I GOT YOU!!! I‘ll wear my onsie as well, and I‘ll force Jean to wear his one as well!! Much fun!! Much wholesome!!“

So that‘s how Kevin Day, queen of Exy, landed sandwiched between his childhood crush and long life crush on their couch, watching Downton Abbey with a plate of waffles on his lap. This was nice. He might had actually enjoyed it, if this wasn‘t his and Aaron‘s show. They used to watch it, cry over it together, make out while watching it.

Thank God didn‘t actually touch him while watching Downton Abbey, he was good at daydreaming. Kevin would just had preteneded that it was Aaron and he thought him breathing Aaron‘s name was the last thing any of them needed today.

After their Downton Abbey marathon they ordered pizza, against Kevin‘s better judgement. Another traditon Kevin shared with Aaron. At finals Aaron would often forget to eat and Kevin was too big of a mess to be bothered to cook so he would end up ordering something every single day and feeding it Aaron while he studied on the floor. Occasionally he would earn a soft kiss, growing hungrier when the night grew darker. God Kevin missed the soft lips on his own.

Kevin would have enjoyed the beach, wouldn‘t he be dressed in a fox onsie, holding hands with a 6“5 guy who looked like he both could and would kill you in a unicorn onsie holding two tiny dogs in his other hand and with a 5“4 dude in a matching unicorn onsie with two dogs that were almost bigger than him.

At least this didn‘t remind him on Aaron.

Well, actually. The way the ocean softly kissed the sand, reminded him of his dream. And of the endless trips to the beach, sleeping in the car, Aaron on top of him. Lazy kisses and warm hugs. It was the first place Aaron took Kevin after their rehab. It was the first night they spent together, as sober men. Well, not sober per se. But drunk and high on each others love. It might had been the most painful memory of the day. God he missed those strong arms around his waist.

Nontheless the pain got less, he felt almost numb. Kevin liked feeling numb. Nothing hurt when you feel numb.

The sunset was beautiful. It reminded him of golden hairs, freckles standing against golden skin, soft lips at his ears, his neck, the corner of his lips.

„Aaron you‘re supposed to look at the sunset, you shithead“, Kevin used to smile down at him. „But I‘m already looking at the most beautfiul thing this world has to offer“, Aaron replied smoothly, locking eyes with Kevin.

When the moon took the place of his long lost lover they decided to go back.

It was safe to say that no one dared to think that someone would wait for them there. Especially not the one person they tried to avoid by all means the entire day.

„You said to stop calling. Never mentioned face to face conversations“, a husky voice said. And Kevin‘s world stopped.

#all for the game #the foxhole court #the raven king #the king’s men #kevin day #aaron minyard #kevaaron #ship: kevaaron

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poeticaddiction · 4 years ago

Text

Goodbye my lover 3/5

Chris Evans x Reader

Summary: After you and Chris got a divorce you tried to move on but what will happen when you get confronted with all the things again that lead to him leaving you

Part 1

Part 2

Carly gave your knee a little pat before she stood up and Chris took the seat where his sister once sat.

He held his glass of beer in his hand as he leaned against the back of the bench, looking to the porch where his family was roasting some marshmallows over a campfire that Chris father set up.

His foot was tapping the grass as he took a deep breath and started to talk after taking another zip from his drink.

,,Listen Y/N I want to be honest with you. I‘m sorry for snapping like that earlier. Scott wants you to be a part of this family and I need to accept that.“

You nodded as you listened to him apologizing to you. It was the first time that you two talked to each other after 5 months without screaming. You had enough of all the arguments you had and hoped that you two could have a normal relationship without ripping each other’s head off.

,,So uhm...how have you been?“ his question came pretty unexpected and you saw how uneasy he was right now.

,,Chris we don‘t need to do this. Really. Let‘s just head back to the others.“

,,No it‘s fine. I want to do this. I‘m serious. Tell me what you‘ve been up to the last few months.“

You bit your lip and as you turned your head to Chris you saw that he was looking at you. His blue eyes were shining in the moonlight and his cologne filled your nose, causing the butterflies in your stomach to go crazy all over again.

It hurt so much to sit right next to him without being able to touch him but feeling his presence right next to you was just right for the moment.

,,Nothing really special happened. I was just working. What about you?“

,,We we‘re shooting a new TV-show the last few months.“

The two of you sat in silence just holding your drinks, zipping occasionally and feeling the light summer breeze on your skin. It was a really weird situation for the two of you and you really wanted to escape but standing up and leaving would‘ve been pretty rude. So you stayed and decided to live through this moment of pure discomfort.

,,Y/N! Chris! Get your asses over here we‘re making s‘mores!“ Scott’s voice echoed through the garden and you could feel all the tension fall from your shoulders as the two of you stood up and walked over to the others to join them.

The music was playing in the background while all of you were laughing as Scott started to talk about all of Zachs embarrassing stories. Maybe coming here was not a bad idea at all.

,,Here. I know you like em that way the most.“

Chris suddenly held a S‘more in his hand with extra chocolate and you had to chuckle as you saw the huge ,,creation“ in his hand.

,,Thank you.“ you stretched your hand out and wanted to grab the S‘more as you felt his large fingers brush yours. Electric waves were send through your entire body and you felt the shivers run down your spine immediately.

Chris must‘ve felt it too because the two of you were just staring at each other for a few seconds before your attention was brought back to Zach who held his glass up into the air.

,,I want to say something before we wrap this evening up.“

You turned your head back and noticed that Scott was looking at you with a little grin on his face, nodding his head towards Chris but you decided to ignore it and concentrate on the speech that Zach had prepared.

The next day you woke up feeling a little bit dizzy but you just blamed it on all the alcohol you consumed yesterday and walked to your kitchen to be greeted by your cat who patiently waited for you to put some food into his bowl.

As you kneeled down to grab the bowl you felt the dizziness get bigger and bigger but fade away after a few seconds so you could get up again.

,,I need some coffee really quickly.“ you mumbled to yourself as you headed over to the coffee machine to make you a delicious hot cup of coffee.

Just as you were about to head out to the balcony your phone started to vibrate and you saw that it was once again Chris brother Scott who decided to annoy you.

,,Hey Scott what’s up.“ you said as you took a zip from the coffee while sitting down on the chair in your kitchen.

,,What’s up? I want to know what happened between you and Chris last night. The way you two were looking at each other and talking without screaming at each other was just fantastic!“

,,Scott there was nothing between me and Chris going on. We just talked about everything and decided to behave like adults. That‘s all.“

And there it was again. Scott huge grin that should show you that he did not believe you one single thing you said. If there was a person on this whole planet who wanted you and Chris to be back together it was definitely Scott.

,,Oh come on Y/N who are you joking. I can totally- is everything okay? You seem a little bit off.“

Scott must‘ve noticed that you were holding your hand against your head because not you were not only feeling pretty dizzy but also felt a very strong headache approaching.

,,I just feel really weird and tired. Probably due to the alcohol. I will lay down for a little bit. See you later Scott.“

,,See you later. Call me if you need anything.“

*8 months ago*

,,Babe you need to get that checked. That‘s not normal anymore.“

You were laying on the couch with a bag of ice on your head and a heating pat on your lower stomach while Chris was sitting on the other end with your legs on his lap.

,,No it‘s fine. It‘s just my period there is nothing to worry about.“

,,You just had your period 2 weeks ago. Please go to your gynecologists and let you get checked. Maybe that‘s the reason why we can‘t get pregnant.“

He was rubbing your legs with his hand as you took a deep breath and enjoyed his touch because it was easing your pain a little bit.

,,Ugh fine..“

Part 4

Taglist: if you want to be tagged let me know and I‘ll put you on the list :)

@auroraevans @xcevans @iheartsebastianstan @rororo06 @mrspeacem1nusone @tacohead13 @ladythena @introvertatitsfinest @horny-nd-bored @faithxsolo @theregoestheretardis @cherrydreamboys @firstangeldragonranch

#chris evans imagine #chris evans fluff #chris evans x reader #steve rogers imagine #chris evans drabble #chris evans smut #chris evans x you #steve rogers #steve rogers fluff #chris evans #chris evans angst #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x smut #chris evans fanfic #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers smut

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nemobookaholic · 4 years ago

Text

What if…

I don‘t know if this is a mistake or not, but it feels like the universe is giving me signs to do this,… so here I go.

Recently I‘ve started to write a Loki fanfic. I was so anxios about the english grammar, that I asked a friend to check on it. She read it and told me, it‘s not that bad. But she‘s still very busy and even if I asked her, to check on the grammar and send it back to me, it feels like it takes like forever. And this happens to me with all my betas and all the storys I gave away. I‘m still afraid to do this step, but I want it out there. Today it feels, like I have to or miss the chance, so here is the first part of ‚What if…‘ I hope it‘s not that bad and I would be happy about constructive criticism.

What if... Loki where a 21st century woman?

Scene 1

‘I hate this place! Not that I haven’t seen worse, but it’s dangerous, even for me. I’m starving, this whole planet is inhospitable! It’s more than time to leave. Only that using the Tesseract to teleport, takes a lot of power... wouldn’t be that hurtful, if I hadn’t had to escape from, in my opinion, this way too annoying bastard. And he still follows me somehow. By Odin's beard, I should have killed him the time I had the chance. Stabbed him in the back, of course, just without the expected result. Since I’ve left my originally realm, a lot of things happened, mostly not to my satisfaction. Me sitting on the throne I deserve wasn’t one of it. The only higher court is this piece of stone I am sitting on. Would be utterly boring, to rule this world. It doesn’t even deserve that name, it’s a desert. Thinking about it, why not go and visit Midgard again? I haven’t seen my brother in ages and I guess that’s the place to meet him. I gain all the power the planet spare with me and use it, to start a new, different adventure. One that might bring some mischief!’

We see Loki disappear from the stone dessert. Where he sat seconds before, like it would have been the throne of Asgard, legs open and hands on the rocks that surrounded him. Eying the environment with disgust, out of a pale face and dark rings under his bloodshot eyes.

Everything he leaves behind is a blue gleaming, which last for a while, until it fades completely. In the end there is nothing left to proof his short residence.

Scene 2

We are inside a crowd. In a well known theatre, that has an open roof and reminds us of an wooden O. It’s dark outside, but the crowd standing around us, keeps us warm. We stare up to the actors on stage, who are playing a fairy tale in a midsummer night’s dream. Suddenly the people around us start to whisper and raise their heads. We follow their sight to the balcony where a man, bound in leather and with golden horns on his head, stands. Obviously he isn’t part of the cast. Voices, about some promotion gag, becoming louder. How well do we know about Loki from all those movies and comics? But this guy is new and definitely not Matt Damon. As we can see, he isn’t just playing a role and his behaviour is far from method acting. His fascial expressions are extraordinary, like a man who literarily came from another dimension. We can read from his body language, how much he enjoys the crowd cheering at him. Until a sudden change on his face shows us a second of fear, like he had just remembered something. Indeed he is hiding it pretty well, as we start to question our power of observation, thats how fast he got back control.

Loki is leaving gracefully, walking backwards and that’s the last thing we see of him.

‘Those puny mortals are staring at me. They seem pleased by my appearance. It’s joyful to have them cheering at me, quite different to my last visit. Thinking of it makes me realise, I’m not out of danger yet! How could I forget about this stupid Agency, that is somehow connected with Thor. It wasn’t a good idea to show my face to all those people. Maybe one of them is in the crowd, already calling for the bloody Avengers - this time I don’t have an army to my support. Even if I’d decimated their number last time, who can tell if they didn’t recruit more, since I’ve been gone? I’ll have to go now! I’m able to get out of here without losing my face. A god doesn’t run away, even though it would be wise to get disguised for a little while. Of course I could become an animal, but that’s what Thor would expect of me and probably figure it out quickly. No, I have to do something he would never expect. Speaking the spell, I think of all the women I know, with mother leading the way - for fathers sake am I tired! Didn’t even realise it until this very moment. I feel the darkness coming closer, as I slide down some wall, sense my body transforming right before the darkness takes over.’

We caught Loki again, sitting on a corner, head leaning against the wall behind him, eyes closed. His body looks strange. It’s difficult to see the shape of it, like you would try to see trough some fog, surrounding his skin. His hair becomes lighter every second until it reaches the colour of sand. We can’t see it, but even his body shrinks a little. The wardrobe changes from asgardian to, probably stolen out of Natashas closet. Loki wears black jeans, a green t-shirt and a also black leather jacket now. Underneath the shirt a breast starts to grow, while other ‘things’ become less until they disappear. This is so much more than a simple illusion and Loki can be happy about being unconscious, so he doesn’t have to feel the pain of his transformation.

Scene 3

As for Loki, we know he is a clever fellow. Maybe that’s what brings doom on his own occasion. We remember, he is a she now and she’s still sitting there, holding the Tesseract, which slowly slips from her hand.

To give us certainty, yes he used it as a source of power to make a true transformation, not willingly though. He was at a state of weakness, where he didn’t think much about his actions. And he needed the support, as for this world we can sense slight traces of magic. Of course every use of sorcery has it’s price and we can assume, that if Loki had seen the bill, he probably wouldn’t be willing to pay for it.

Anyway, events have been started and we will have to live with the consequences. For Loki it means, that there is an orange circle appearing out of nothing, not noticed by her mindless shell. Just a small one, producing a quiet sound, like wind howling trough grass. Out of this hole in time and space, we see a hand appearing, grabbing for the blue glowing cube. Taking it out of reach for the mischievous god.

She will sleep now, for a long while. Trying to regain some power. What she doesn’t know is the fact, that the dimension she slipped in so careless, doesn’t contain much witchcraft. What, well hopefully, will keep her busy, so the other realms can recover, at least, from her evil deeds.

And her slumber won’t be broken. Not even as two strangers cross Lokis path. For them it’s a broken, but still beautiful woman, sleeping in an unusual place. We sense the compassion on their faces. They share a long moment of silent conversation, just by expressions. The woman, a goth girl, seems to be wary about what she reads in the face of her companion. The guy indeed seems to be unafraid. He gets closer, grabbing Loki at her shoulder, shaking her. She shows no reaction at all.

‘Is she dead?! We should get help,’ the female says.

‘Still breathing. Don’t be such a chicken! I think she might be one of our kind … let’s take her home and allow her to rest,’ the guy replies.

‘You are serious, aren’t you? I can’t believe, I even consider helping you … come on then!’

The both of them take the girl between them, pulling her up, slowly starting the long walk home. It looks rather funny, for Loki is a tall woman and these strangers are smaller than her. They haul her more as you could describe it as carrying, but at least they’ll reach a house that they get into.

Meanwhile Loki still doesn’t move any bone, would have been helpful with the stairs actually. We don’t know if she realises anything of what is happening, but according to the abuse done to her body we may doubt it. Even when they drop her into a bed, she’s like a corpse.

‘Kevin, do you really think this was a good idea?’ the woman asks.

‘Come on Beatrix. Don’t you think it’s what humanity claim from us? I will sit with her and wait until she wakes, if it brings peace to you. You can go to bed if you like.’

The guy smiles at her and she can’t help herself and smiles back.

‘You are too kind for this world, you know?’ she kisses him on the forehead and leaves the room. Giving the burden of a long night’s watch to him, as he’d requested.

Scene 4

‘This must be a dream, I guess it by the fact, that mother is with me. Her soft touch, the calm voice and the love I feel while she looks at me, are far away from me these days. I miss her, knowing well what’s going to happen once I’ll return to Asgard, keeps me away from there. It isn’t my home anymore and that’s what will make her safe. We always had a strong connection, that’s why I believe her, when she tells me, to find my own way. Even if I know perfectly that it’s just a dream, her next words are predictable as she tells me to seek happiness in what I have. Only that I own nothing at all, I was promised a throne! Mothers eyes darken, like she could read my thoughts. She turns her back on me. I call out to her, knowing what’s going to happen next. As in all those dreams before, I see her dying.

No matter how hard I try, I can’t change her fate. It’s like I’m cursed, every time I come close to her, she’s dying.

“Mother …,” it’s just a whisper of disbelieve on my lips, yet it’s enough to wake me from this horrible dream. Watching myself causing her death again and again, doesn’t lose any of it’s horror. Through a shroud of tears I blink my way into reality. I can’t remember what happened. The ceiling I’m staring at, doesn’t look familiar to me. My tong licks over my dry lips, don’t know the last time I actually drank something? My stomach hurts, food seems to be even longer ago. I’m weak and I hate knowing so. I use all my senses, to get more informations about my whereabouts, as I am unable to move. There is some comfort in the way I lie, a pillow under my head and a blanket that keeps me warm. Knowing all this, doesn’t really help me to figure, where I am or how I get here. The try to sit up and have a better view got amiss, I’m far to weak. A sight of surprise escapes my throat and I fall back into the down.

‘Are you finally awake?’ a voice from my right asks and I manage to turn my head, to see who was talking. A redhead caught my sight, he looks quite young. It’s not easy to tell with those Midgardian folks. ‘How are you? Feeling a bit better?’ he smiles at me, trying to make me trust him, I suppose. NOBODY ever ask me, how I feel!

‘Am I your prisoner?’ is the first thing I need to know.

‘No, god no! Why would you think … never mind. Of course you are free to leave any time. But you are also allowed to stay, if you need help,’ is the reply.

I try to figure out what kind of game he’s playing, but it doesn’t occur to me. It makes no sense. I’m staring at him in silence.

‘Don’t know what you had to go trough till now, however I promise you’re perfectly safe with me. Uhm - maybe it calms you - if I tell you that I’m gay? I won’t touch you. And if that isn’t enough, I could call for my flatmate. She helped to bring you here by the way.’

Does that little scum really believe, I, the god of mischief, would be scared by a mortal?! And how does it make things any better, if he adds his sexual interest - oh wait - I completely forgot about the disguise I’m in. Of course he must mistaken me for a weak creature like himself.

‘I am a goddess and not afraid of your puny, gay presence!’ I tell him to demonstrate how less I’m impressed.

‘Uuuuhm, ‘kay?’ now the redhead is staring at me. Not the effect I had in mind. He seems more fascinated than afraid. There is more, even when he’s hiding it well, an expression of anger crosses his mimic for a second. ‘Listen, if I where you, I would think carefully about my next words, cause if you are one of those homophobic assholes, you can go back from where you’ve come!’ Now we have context.

‘Ehehehe. You have no idea who you are talking to, do you? Where I come from, nobody cares about the gender of your love. I didn’t meant to make an insult on that topic, you insisted on being so. I wanted to warn you, that I am dangerous. But as words seem to have no effect on you, take this!’ with these words I grab for the Tesseract in my magic pocket, just to find it isn’t there. ‘Where IS IT? Did you maggots dare to steal the stone from me? I am Loki of Asgard and you are a dead man, if you don’t tell me where you’ve put my belongings!’ I yell at him, this time pulling out a knife. The mortal keeps his hands up in defence.

‘First of all, you didn’t carry any belongings with you, as we picked you up. Second, you really believe all those shit you are saying, don’t you? That’s quite of interest to me and I may be able to help you. Third and last, threaten me with a butterknife hasn’t the impact on me, you might think. I’ve experienced worse, you know,’ he looks at me, like I’ve gone mad. I however look down at my hands to find , well not what I’d expected. What is wrong with this dimension? The knife disappears.

‘Take me back to the place where you’ve found me,’ I press the words through my lips, trying to stand up, failing again.

‘If I promise to get you back there, would you behave for the rest of the day?’ he’s waiting for an answer. As I’ve said enough already, I just mutter my approval. ‘Good. Anyway, you’ll have to wait, cause it is closed right now. We’ll be there by the time it opens, to search for your stone.’

‘Tesseract! It’s a blue glowing cube.’

‘Yeah, whatever. We’ll seek for it, I promise.’

‘Sounds like the stuff Hina keeps talking about,’ a rasping voice comes from outside the room, ‘what kind of freak did we brought in here Kevin?’ a woman appears in the door, examining me and so do I. She has a strange colour of hair, that is somewhere between grey and light blue - but not the right age for it - half of her head is shaved, while on the other side the hair grows over the shoulder. She looks skinny, not in a very healthy way. She might be a warrior. At least her clothes look like she had a fight, all black and ripped into pieces. Now that I’m on the case, I get a closer look on the redhead too. He appears neat and well-fed, nothing unusual about him. Even his style is screaming: “I’m like everybody else.” Maybe except the golden ring in his right ear. I can’t understand, how both of them can be friends, not to talk about the third party, in which room we obviously are. There are colourful pictures all over the walls, a lot of books and art supplies spread across the desk next to the window. How can anybody life here on free will?

‘Does she has a name?’ the woman breaks the silence, asking her friend but still looking at me. He seem uncomfortable with the situation, that’s why I introduce myself.

‘I am Loki of Asgard.’

‘Sure and I’m Jesus Christ! What’s wrong with you?’ she waves her hand in front of her face, I do not know for what reason.

‘I beg your pardon, daughter of Christ, everything is completely fine with me! It’s not my fault, your tiny brains can’t keep up with a god.’ If looks could kill, we would be dead by now. She indeed has something of a warrior.

‘Woah, bitchfight! Calm down ladies,’ Kevin tries to ease the situation. I don’t know if it’s him who finally breaks the ice, or my stomach, that is rumbling loudly into the silence. I’m ashamed because of the betrayal caused by my own body. My cheeks feel hot all of a sudden.

‘See? Maybe we should all have breakfast first, afterwards we can come back to the topic,’ another short silence follows to Kevins words and he must have taken it as agreement, cause he gets up, leaving the room, gently pushing the girl aside. She follows him, not without giving me a last evil look.

My leg slips out of the bed, carefully, followed by the other one. It takes some effort to get up, in the end I stand on my unpleasant feet. Looking down, the difference isn’t to suppress. It was easy with the female voice, as I’m used to different illusions. The new point of view however, let me figure out some things. On my way out of the room I walk past a mirror. After a short glance I have to stop and walk back, to get a closer look. The spell I’ve used works perfectly, way to perfect! I can’t trust mine eyes. My hand wanders across my new face and I can’t but accept the tiny differences. Not that it would bother me, how familiar I still look to myself, it’s more the fact that everything is so damn real. I’ve tried this kind of magic more than once, it never worked quite well. So how come, I was able to work such a difficult spell on the edge of my powers? Something is going on here and I need to find out about it. Plus I need to get the Tesseract back. Thinking back, I’m already sorry, I’ve left the last planet.’

Scene 5

Loki is sitting inside a small kitchen, sipping on a cup of tea, so do his new flatmates. The atmosphere is in low spirits and all we can hear is the noise of their dishes. It’s obvious, the Midgardians don’t believe a single word she had told them, oddly enough they want to help her, for reasons we shall find out, as the story continues. Yet here they are, remain silent, until we start to wonder who’ll be the first one to talk again?

‘Do you feel better now?’ of course it would be Kevin, what did you think? ‘A nice little cupper and some beans with eggs always have been the best way to have a good start into the day, isn’t it?’ he grins like a Cheshire cat, obviously food is his guilt pleasure. Loki just sits in the corner, raising one eyebrow, while Beatrix seems to relax a bit.

‘That’s what I love you for, you know. Just that stupid grin,’ she giggles.

‘What you mean stupid? Is it a crime to be happy after some good food?’ Kevin looks puzzled and Bea starts to laugh. They fill the room with joy, but can’t pass it on to Loki, who still sits in her corner, without moving, or even showing some empathy. There is just this sad look on her face, we can only guess about. Maybe it is, because she’s reminded of all those times she saw Thor and his friends, having fun like that. Or it is, cause she never was a part of the group, but always watched from aside. Probably she doesn’t know it herself, nonetheless it makes her aware of the big gap between them and how impossible it seems, to ever be on that side of the table. To be the one who laughs with friends.

She can’t get away soon enough.

‘Is it time now to seek for my lost item? - Please,’ she adds after a short break. Must have come to her mind, that they’ve shared their food with her, so the try to be a bit more kind isn’t all waisted time. Not that it make her care.

But how can we know, by just watching the expressions on Lokis face? Well we don’t, but we know her well enough to interpret every tiny movement, ain’t we?

‘You see, it wasn’t that hard,’ Kevin smiles again and takes a look onto his watch, ‘we’ll need a bit more patience. One more hour and we can go,’ he tells Loki, who’s wriggling on her chair.

‘I probably shall not feel like it, but I’m still hungry. Glancing at the girl, who has barely even touched her food. I can’t help myself, but staring at her plate in desire. I can’t remember, the last time I have been that hungry, to forget all my manners.

‘Bea love, are you eating any of this yet?’ Kevin must have followed my sight, what makes me look away in shame.

‘Nope,’ is all she says. That’s when he takes the plate and slide it into my direction. I take the offered food and eat it as fast as possible, to not extend this annoying situation. I’m even more ashamed, that I’ve just behaved like my brother would, how pathetic!’

Scene 6

We see Loki and Kevin at the Globe, on the corner where they’ve picked her up. Seeking for the cube, while we can see on her face, how, with every second, she becomes more desperate.

‘It must be here! I’m stuck in this bloody realm if we can’t find it …,’ she mutters in distress.

‘Maybe some stranger picked it up? We can ask, if it was handed over down there?’ Kevin offers.

‘That’s impossible! It’s nothing a mortal could handle!’ she yells at him, throwing her hands in the air.

‘Fine! What would you suggest to do next?!’

‘I DON’T KNOW! I need to think,’ she turns around, walking away.

‘Take your time. I’ll be in the big building next door, if it’s of any interest to you.’

We look after Kevin, as he disappears in the Tate modern, while Loki is taking a walk along the Themse.

‘How? I definitely had escaped the guy and he can’t be that fast in tracking me. It’s impossible. Somebody else must have taken the Tesseract. But who? There is nearly no magic in this world and according to Kevin, nothing like gods or celestial beings to ever be seen. New York wasn’t attacked by the Chitauri and the Avengers are heroes out of comic books. What ever that means. Sure there are a few individuals, who would like to steal the Tesseract, but none of them could come here without it’s powers. What plan could this person follow? It makes no sense … unless … unless they want me to be stuck here. Like a very luxurious prison, I bet Thor or Odin are involved in it! Can’t stand, that I’ve escaped their judgement. To teach me a lesson, probably. Who else would want to keep me here? A world where no ‘harm’ can be done. Pah! Don’t they know me at all, they should know better. A planet with any kind of population can be ruled. Only, this time I need to be smarter. Watching the subjects, learn their habits and find a possibility to submit them. In the end, all of them are going to kneel! Ehehehehe.’

We can’t hear Lokis inner Monolog, but by her evil grin and by the fact, that she turned around and walks quickly into the direction she just came from, we can submit, she has something mischievous in mind.

Scene 7

Loki is entering the Tate, with a couple of tourists. It’s a mystery the guards doesn’t stop her, well maybe not, she must be already aware, of how to use her body the right way. Finally she’s in the building, surrounded by people, who stop, not far from the entrance, to admit the great hall. We can tell from the look an her face, that she isn’t impressed at all. No wonder, there are much bigger buildings in Asgard. Anger is crossing her face. As of course the building is still big and she’ll have to seek for Kevin. She wanders around, visibly relaxing. That’s the magic of art and maybe the place. We follow her, slowly now. Studying one painting after another, strolling through the halls. We might get the impression, she completely forgot about Kevin. She already made it through a few levels, when she spots him. He’s sitting in an armchair, in front of a big glass-wall, staring down at the people walking around downstairs. Loki slips into the chair next to him.

‘Did you find your cube?’ Kevin asks.

‘No …,’ she braces her head into her hands. They sit in silence for a while, watching the people who have the size of ants, from their point of view.

‘Why don’t you look at the paintings, instead of staring down there?’ Loki can’t find much amusement in doing so.

‘I like to study people. That’s my job and I can’t turn it off. Right before you’ve joined me, there was a couple sitting next to me and I’ve been listening to their fight. It was pretty interesting and I might had followed them, if I didn’t figure, you should be up here every minute. I saw you enter the building. Took you a while to find me, aye?’ Kevin leans back in his chair, finally looking at Loki.

‘I have been learning about the midgardian paintings. Some of them are quite beautiful,’ she shrugs her shoulders, ‘so you get payed for spying on people?’ We recognise interest flickering on her face.

‘Hahaha, no. Not in the way you might think. I’m a psychologist-to-be. People come to me and tell me their problems and I’ll analyse how to help them. Explains my manic interest into other peoples behaviour. Talking of it, I thought, you would be an interesting case. Would you allow me, to have a few sessions with you? You don’t have to do it for free of course.’

‘Now he comes to the point, about what he was hiding from me. I knew, this guy was up to something. Waiting patiently for his offer, so I can see, if it’s worth my time. He seems to think for a moment, probably about how to formulate it, before he speaks again.

‘As I’ve figured, you don’t have a place to stay for longer?’ he asks and I nod, ‘so in case you agree, we could come to an arrangement. You can stay in Hinas room, she’ll be away for a while. In return I want an hour every second day, where you will answer my questions honestly. Without any pressure, I promise. How does that sound to you?’

What an unique offer, he surly doesn’t know much about me.

‘I agree, but under one condition, you’ll have to answer my questions too. Do we have a deal?’

We shake hands, no more words needed. This was way too easy.’

#loki of asgard #marvel #loki #fanfic #mcu #mcu fanfiction

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bts-fantasy · 5 years ago

Text

part thirteen

Genre: Thriller AU

Characters: Yoongi, Hoseok x Reader

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

„You have no idea what I had to go through, Hoseokie. And I won‘t let this bitch take it all away from me, you hear me?!“

Ji Woo pulled you by your hair roughly and placed the knife on your throat ready to end it all while Hoseok stood there frozen in his place not knowing how to stop her.

You whimpered in her hands giving up all hope you‘d left inside of you saying goodbye to your mom and Yoongi in your mind in hopes that it would reach them somehow.

Then everything around you turned dark as you closed your eyes one last time.

„Wait!“

Your eyes immediately opened when you heard the familiar voice shout through the darkroom thinking it was just in your head. But it wasn‘t.

Ji Woo had stopped in her tracks all three of you staring in the direction where the voice was coming from as Yoongi slowly walked down the stairs with arms stretched out in front of him. Your heart was beating rapidly at the sight in front of you not knowing if you should feel relieved that he was here to save you or panicked because he was putting himself in danger for you.

The perplexed posture of Ji Woo suddenly changed as she found her composure again and placed the knife on your throat again this time you could feel the sharp metal blade on your skin so coldly that it made your breath hitch.

„One step and you‘ll never see your princess again.“

Yoongi stopped immediately with his arms still in the air as if he was approaching a wild animal. His eyes were fixed on Ji Woo never leaving her out of sight the room suddenly fell in complete silence. Hoseok was watching everything from a corner still too confused about what exactly was going on in front of him.

„Ji Woo, please put the knife down so we can talk properly.“

He tried to bring her back to her senses but to no avail. Her hysterical laughter which echoed from the cold walls gave you chills all over your body. You heard Yoongi sigh deeply before he tried to talk again.

„I... We need to talk about us, Ji Woo.“

His voice was now deeper and suddenly caught her attention.

„What do you mean? There is nothing to talk about.“

She spat out clearly upset but Yoongi didn‘t want to give up just now. He slowly took a step forward staring directly into her eyes before he continued.

„I‘m sorry. I shouldn‘t have left you, Ji Woo, but if you can somehow forgive me then maybe we could try to start over? I... I want to be with you.“

The blade slightly moved away from your throat as she was too confused to understand the situation and forgot about her surroundings for a minute.

Then everything happened at once as Hoseok jumped forward to twist his sister‘s arm behind her back forcefully that the knife dropped on the ground. Ji Woo cried out trying to get out of his grip but Hoseok wouldn‘t even budge as he held her in place.

Meanwhile, Yoongi had already cut the ropes from your wrists and pulled you into a tight hug when you were finally able to move your arms freely. He examined your bruised wrists with a frown his face turning red with rage as he looked into the direction of Ji Woo who was furiously glaring at the both of you.

„This is not over, Yoongi! I will kill her! You can‘t be happy without me!“

The screams made you shake in Yoongi‘s arm not being able to take it anymore you broke down in tears trying to shut out all the noise. Before you could react Yoongi lifted you up in bridal style and carried you upstairs away from the earsplitting screams of Ji Woo.

„It‘s alright, baby. Everything‘s fine, you‘re safe now. I‘m here.“

He calmed you down while stroking your head continuously and it actually worked. You relaxed little by little and soon you could hear police sirens approaching in the distance.

Was it really over?

***

A few months later

„I could drop dead right now, I swear to god“, Yoongi whined behind you making you chuckle and turn around to face him.

„Oh come on, Grandpa. Only a few more minutes and we‘ll be there.“

The sun was shining brightly down at you and the sand beneath your feet felt hot but you didn‘t care as you run across the beach to the perfect spot for your picnic.

„You‘ve been saying that since the minute we left the house.“ Yoongi scoffed as he tried to keep up with your fast pace. He would never admit it out loud but every time you looked back at him with that smile on your face a fresh wave of motivation hit him that kept growing with each step. Suddenly you stopped in the middle of the beach falling down on your knees yelling that this was your spot. A more secluded area without a bunch of people blocking your view this was the perfect place for a nice romantic picnic you thought.

Yoongi plopped on the blanket that you‘d spread with a sigh staring off to the sea. You admired his black hair shimmering in the evening sun and his cheeks that were rosy from the walk to the beach. Without second thoughts you leaned forward to place a quick kiss on his cheek which only made the color darken even more. You giggled at the way his eyes were wide when he turned to look at you.

„Are you happy?“

His expression was serious as he examined your face to make sure you were okay. He would never admit that he was still having nightmares of how you nearly got killed by Ji Woo.

You nodded placing a hand on his cheek reassuring him that you were indeed feeling better now. The police had confirmed that it‘s been Ji Woo all this time and Hoseok had been helping her to get all the information about you. Ji Woo was back in the psychiatric ward and required close supervision so she couldn‘t break out a second time. And Hoseok...

„I know you‘re thinking about him.“

Yoongi could read you like an open book and he knew everything about you right away so there was no use in the truth. You nodded with a deep sigh staring off to the horizon.

„He‘ll get out of jail soon and I don‘t... I don‘t know how to act around him.“

Hoseok had regretted his actions and apologized multiple times and even though you knew better you just couldn‘t stay mad at him. Somehow you felt bad for him.

„It won‘t be the same again, Y/N. But you forgave him and that‘s more than enough for now.“

You nodded trying to take your mind off the bad memories and focused on your boyfriend again smiling down at you so calmly.

„Can I ask you something?“

Yoongi only hummed in response pulling you closer to his chest intertwining your hands. You had been wondering about this for quite some time now but never knew how to phrase the question right without making it awkward.

„How did you find me... that night?“

A long moment of silence fell upon you two and you looked up to see him stare into the distance.

„I never told this to anyone but the first time I tried to run away from home my parents caught me and sent me to a psychiatric ward. That was when I met Ji Woo and we got on very well but then I got discharged and I lost all forms of contact with her after that.“

„I‘m sorry.“ You whispered for a lack of better words to let him know how you felt about what he had to go through.

„Don‘t be... I‘m glad that I can be here now. That‘s all that matters.“

You smiled up at him thinking how the only thing that was keeping you sane in all the chaos was his presence in your life and you couldn‘t be more grateful. His hand slowly wound behind your neck as he pulled you into a long and passionate kiss. The sound of the waves crashing on the shore surrounded you making this moment the most peaceful one and for the first time in forever, you felt like you held the world in your arms.

It was just you and him now.

A/N: my finals are in two weeks what am I doing here?!😖 well anyway enjoy the last part of this „halloween“ series (I know it‘s been almost a month💀) I hope you like the ending.😬 let me know your thoughts on this series I‘m always happy to read and reply to your comments!😋🥰

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theangelssecondwing · 5 years ago

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Chapter 13

We spent the majority oft he morning in bed, dozing in each other’s arms. I let my fingers trace the outlines of his muscles, smiling to myself.

Sephiroth sighed softly. „I honestly never thought that intimacy could feel this… good.“

„Oh?“ I opened my eyes to look at him. „Did you have many lovers before me?“

„I wouldn’t exactly call them ‚lovers‘, but I did have the occasional fling during my teens. They were rare, though, and it never felt quite right. I mean, sure it was nice, but nothing I couldn’t do with my own hand.“

My face metaphorically caught fire at that last sentence, the image of Sephiroth pleasuring himself appearing before my inner eye.

„However“, he continued, interrupting my thoughts. „I have felt what I feel for you once before. When I was… twelve, I think.“

„Oh.“ Shit. Shit shit shit. There was someone else? Who was that person? Were they from Midgar, too? Maybe even employed at Shinra Corp.? What if they showed up again?

„Tell me about them“, I asked in a murmur.

He smiled, a fondness in his eyes that made my heart ache. „I didn’t find out what her name was for a long time. In fact, I only saw her once, very briefly and from a distance. She was about my age… maybe a year or two older. Dark brown hair. Chubby, bur very cute. She didn’t notice me because she was talking to Rufus Shinra.“ He wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my hair. „For years, I kept my eyes peeled, hoping to catch another glimpse of her, though I had no way of knowing what she might look like after a few years passed. But she haunted me dreams. I am… quite embarrassed that I didn’t make the connection right away, but when I saw that photo of you with Rufus, everything clicked into place.“ He cupped my face with his hands and kissed me. „It was you. It was always you.

Now my heart ached with the overwhelming love I felt. „If only I had turned around back then.“

„Indeed.“

I chuckled. „A few months ago I thought that you were so far out of my league and was baffled that you would even look at me. And now this…“

He kissed me again. „Now it’s your turn. I know that you were a virgin up until that night in Costa del Sol. But there’s more to relationships than that. Was there anyone else before me? Any crushes, or significant others?“

„None“, I replied. „I kept thinking that something might be wrong with me when I made it through puberty without heartbreak.“

„Nothing“, he whispered. „There’s nothing wrong with you.“

Around afternoon, the doorbell rang. I quickly slipped into my clothes and went to open it, only to find a tall man with a long black ponytail on the other side. He wore an expensive designer suit and seemed to be a very serious, clean-cut type. But the most striking feature was the tilak on his forehead.

„Can I help you?“, I asked warily.

The man pulled out an ID. „Good afternoon, Ms. Hunter. I’m Tseng, from the Turks. May I come in for a moment?“

I gawked at him for a moment, completely dumbfounded, before remembering my manners. „Of course. Come on in.“ I led him into the living room. „Please, have a seat.“

He sat down on the couch. „Are you alone here at the moment, Ms. Hunter?“

„No offense, but I wouldn’t have invited you in if I were alone. Sephiroth is in the bedroom.“

Tseng nodded in approval. „Good. So you know the basics of keeping yourself safe.“

The corners of my mouth twitched upwards. „Did you assume you’d have to talk to me about stranger danger?“

„You’d be surprised at how many adults still seem to need that talk.“ His voice was without humor. „So let’s get down to business: We, meaning the Turks, are under orders to make sure that neither Professor Hojo nor any of his subordinates approach you again. We have assigned a lower ranked member of the Turks to your case. The higher level members such as myself will only get involved if an incident occurs that is outside oft he assigned agent’s abilities. The person tasked with protecting you will not interact with you or interfere with any of your daily engagements unless necessary. The purpose of my visit is to see if you have any questions or concerns and to put those to rest, to ensure a successfull collaboration.“ His dark brown eyes met mine. „So?“

„Uhm.“ Damn. Now that I was put on the spot like that, I couldn’t think of any questions.

„I for one would like to know how the Turks plan to handle Cora’s privacy. Do you plan on watching her while she’s at home as well?“

Tseng and I turned our attention to Sephiroth, who had stepped out of the bedroom fully dressed and with his usual carefully neutral facial expression.

„An understandable concern. We have discussed the matter with the building’s security personell as well as the landlord, so they will keep an eye out for any suspicious people lurking on the premises, and will notify us of any strange occurences. This way, we can ensure Ms. Hunter’s safety without encroaching on her personal space too much.“

I paused for a moment. „…that’s quite a lot of effort to protect one person.“

„It would be if you were just any person. However, your family’s wealth and status as well as your connection to the Shinra family make you important enough to be considered a VIP, so we treat your case accordingly. Is that all you wanted to ask?“

„It is for now“, I replied, bravely masking how overwhelmed I was.

Tseng got up and shook my hand. „I assure you that the incident with the professor won’t repeat itself while we are involved. Good day, Ms. Hunter. Sephiroth.“

I felt burned out after Tseng left, so I just sank down on the couch and buried my face in my hands.

Sephiroth sat down next to me and put an arm around my shoulders. „What’s wrong?“

„Maybe Hojo is right“, I muttered. „Maybe I am not good enough for you. Too… genetically inferior.“

He tensed up. „What are you talking about?“

I took a deep breath, hoping to fight down the hot tears gathering in my eyes. „You are so strong, Sephiroth. You never… you don’t need anyone to worry about you. There’s nobody who can match you in strength. Me, though? My childhood friend felt the need to hire professional spies and assassins to babysit me because I can’t even defend myself against one scrawny middle aged man.“

I wiped my eyes with my sleeves like a child, but as hard as I tried to keep my composure, the last part only came out stammered between sobs and hiccups.

Sephiroth’s arms tightened around me. „Cora. Look at me.“

I looked up, but his face was blurred thanks to my tears and the salt-stains they had left on my glasses.

„I was not born a fighter“, he said once he made sure that he had my undivided attention. „I started combat training as soon as I was able to walk. Of course you aren’t as strong as me. You never had to be. You had a family that loved you and kept you safe.“ He paused for a moment, as if he had revealed too much. Then he continued:„I know this is very stressful for you, and it‘s understandable that you are overwhelmed, and that you feel helpless. But you are not inferior just because you don‘t fight. Okay?“

„O...okay“, I sniffled, rubbing my reddened eyes to drive away the last few tears.

„Good.“ He kissed my forehead. „It‘s okay. Nobody will harm you anymore.“

The doorbell once again interrupted our intimate moment. „Who is it this time?“, I mumbled, irritated. Then I got up. „I‘ll go have a look.“

When I peeked through the peephole at the front door, I found Angeal and Yui standing on the other side. I opened up. „Hey.“

„Cora!“ Yui flung her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. „Sorry that we‘re only now checking up on you, but the doctors at the hospital said that three visitors were already pushing it and that you needed to rest.“

Angeal looked me over. „How are you feeling? You were pretty out of it when Sephiroth and I came barging into the lab to save you.“

„I wrote a very strongly worded mail to the president about the incident“, Yui added. „He assured me that he would take disciplinary action against Hojo.“

„Guys, guys. Calm down. I‘m okay. Still a bit shaken, but otherwise unhurt. And now come in, we can‘t keep standing in the doorway like that.“ I ushered them in, to the living room, where Sephiroth was waiting.

„Hi, Sephiroth“, Angeal greeted casually. „Have you brought Cora up to speed on our investigations yet?“

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow. „I was actually planning on waiting with that until tomorrow.“

„Well, we might as well discuss it now. Seeing as we‘re gathered here anyway“, I piped up. Once everyone had sat down, I took my place next to Sephiroth again. „So? What did you find?“

#The Angel's Second Wing #selfship fic #fanfiction

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