#and peters out so like it's super not ideal for most folks

[thecaptainsbunk]

yeah so it turns out i have a *lot* of trauma surrounding simultaneously but semi-unrelatedly both interpersonal relationships in general and also specifically ones where sex is involved. i know i know we're all fucking shocked.

it turns out being told by the first guy you ever let fuck you that the whole relationship was built on manipulating a sleeping person into getting on top of you and beginning to make out with you when you don't even know they're sleeping until they wake up surprised, and that every time you've touched them they felt like you were violating them even though you never really pushed that hard, and then also that person doing the same move your first boyfriend did where they immediately move on to someone else they either knew first or met while you were together, and then are with them for an astonishingly long time with little to no looking back at the time spent with you, really messes with your assessment of how overbearing you are when asking for sex (a thing you enjoy and want to experience more of).

it also turns out that being told multiple times that you get "too wet" also messes with your self esteem.

it also also turns out that if you do this enough times in a row you develop the inability to act on any urge you ever have or talk about it with anyone in a healthy way. When plastered on top of a childhood where asking for anything at all was seen as an inconvenience at best (like when they ASKED for christmas lists, for example, and i put something on it and i'd get fussed at for putting it on my list because it was unreasonable to ask for, for whatever reason - so my list became more and more generic and set within a certain budget so people wouldn't be mad at me when they asked what i wanted, whether or not i actually wanted or needed the things on my list anymore), it turns out this is a really terrible fucking combination.

When all you're told is that the only thing you will ever actually be able to bring to the table is the fact that you can satisfy people sexually and then it turns out you can't actually do that because people don't want to have sex with you - and if they do have sex with you you're doing it wrong anyway - you end up developing a lot of fucked up self-esteem issues.

So... i'm... today has been hard. i just had a really good but difficult conversation with my partner (it's very funny in a kind of fucked up way that as the only Allosexual in a house full of Aces and three of us all dating the same person, i'm the only one not regularly getting any - i'm not exactly getting out there to try, admittedly, but it is still funny) about this and like. i know i have a lot to work on but like in the meantime it sure would be nice to know my body is actually desirable sexually.

so if you were witness to my mental breakdown early this past summer, well. now you have more context on to why that panned out the way it did.

I have spent a lot of my life knowing i was destined to be surrounded by people who wouldn't want me the same way I want them, and like... that's not *not* the case, but i'm trying to like. adjust to that being okay.

I'm sure my cavernous, too wet, very easy, extremely submissive, kind of pillow-princess adjacent self is the sex perfect partner for someone out there. maybe one day i'll actually meet them lol. until then i guess.

[titleknown]

Reblogging because you make some extremely good points and overall reassure me, tho there is one bit I'd want to quibble with.

Like, you're probably correct on how for a lot of people it's more skepticism/rallying against hegemony, and that includes people I've personally argued with like the one who was really shitty about space to me or the one who said the concept of emerging technologies was a "capitalist grift" (literally their words)

Like, despite my clashing, I'm willing to take in good faith that it's skepticism, and I agree that in terms of approaching a better world good god there's a lot of hegemonic "quick fixes" that're bad and dumb even if I disagree with others on the alternatives or how often my own go-tos keep getting crushed.

But for other folks... well, I think part of my antipathy towards degrowth-as-movement is related to coming across it via this site called Resilience, which is super focused on "transition towns," and tends to attract A Sort Of Person.

And that person who did that post also did a follow-up where they mentioned this, bolding mine:

why do you think the whole cottagecore thing (colonialism aside) is so popular? because people, semi-correctly, identify the trappings of industrial civilization with the everyday suffering that living in a capitalist world brings to us. especially after people’s standards of living get degraded by the oncoming economic-ecological collapse, if you promise people a life with less air conditioning but where they’re guaranteed work, shelter, and sustenance, i think you’ll get far more support than you anticipate.

Like, even beyond the whole bad faith of "I'm not an amprim, I just think we should end most industry and return to neo-peasantry," the comment on air conditioning sticks out to me because like...

I live in Arizona. We would fucking die without air conditioning. Especially in a climate catastrophe scenario.

Now, the response folks like that would be is usually "Just move/flee" then, I've seen it also in Peter Gelderloos' godawful "An Anarchist Solution to Global Warming," but like, I'd respond with "How the fuck would anyone get the material funds to resettle? Sell their homes to the fucking Graboids? Or the fucking Night of the Lepus rabbits*?"

Though, as you said, they don't make up the entirety of the people really aggressive about shutting down technological solutions, but like...

Well, I suppose I'm afraid of what the skeptics and the anprim-lites are gonna do united, and how the former might be further drawn in by the latter.

Though I suppose it's related to my experience with, for example, how I still think the influence of the Frankfurt School is a major choke-chain holding back lefism from doing shit about the massive overreach of IP law, due to the FFS' ideas in practice (as I've observed them) leading to ideals of the artist as audience-adversarial philosopher-king in a way that's directly hostile to the Creative Commons.

But that itself is its own ramble...

*That is only partially a joke, Night of the Lepus was in fact filmed in my hometown, and I have no idea what it says that I take that as a point of pride.

...This is probably going to come off as stupid, but I feel like the whole line of "To preserve a livable planet, no price is too high" is rapidly becoming the eco-leftist version of "There is no alternative,"

At least, specifically WRT the idea of massive cuts to life being the only solution and, in the part that frustrates me the most, actively shutting down any attempts to make the sacrifices necessary suck less/be based on less loss.

IDK, I'm just tired of how whenever anyone says "Hey, maybe with this emerging technological tool we can avoid the horrifying levels of sacrifice," every eco-leftist in a ten mile raidus emerges to yell at them "Go fuck yourself, here's ten thousand papers on why this is bad actually that you can't disprove without seven degrees, fuck you"

[lovecanbesostrange]

#time in Storybooke stood still for so long anyway so let's party like it's 2012 and Neverland hasn't happened yet

I feel this in my soul

We all agree that this was this werid turning point, right? I like S2, especially the first half that allowed for Emma and Snow to grow closer together and all. Cora was such a great villain and Snow killing her. MY HEART!!

And what happened in the background? The Outsider!! Greg and Tamara, two super normal people, from this super normal world, that totally doesn’t have magic. Which makes it so remarkable when somebody finds magic! And we deserved to follow that path. And not let it desolve into this Peter Pan nonsense.

I mean, using Peter Pan overall wouldn’t have been bad. Think about his existence being one more reasons some people got a whiff of magic existing somewhere.

The dwarves and Ruby were so freaked with this potential of everyday people coming to Storybrooke and what would happen to them. EXPLORE THOSE FEARS! Did they really want to get back to FTL, because it’s home or because it’s “safe”? Give me some tension there. Because some people fit easier than others. How do you get to live as this double-persona-made-whole-person with so vastly different worlds that can both be home.

S4 did a better job of being character driven again to me than S3. Even though this whole “Emma was born with the potential for darkness, so we kinda fucked up Maleficent’s baby” is a very bad, out of the blue, incredibly mean addition. Still it works so much better than “Henry was kidnapped, his heart as the truest believer is meaningful and we’re on this adventurous rescue mission”. Where a lot of personal drama happens (scenes I like), but with the build-up from S2 it was like.... what?? Why are we doing this now?????

I like a united hero front very much, but there was a perfect time to put a strain on the established relationships to bring them all out stronger in the end, pushing against... whatever kind of shadowy anti-magic group shows their ass.

Obviously the end of the arc with Never Going Home gave us one of the most amazing scenes. When Emma and Henry have to stay, and they say goodbye, and Regina grants them the gift of good memories... that scene.......... but that still could have happened as this ultimate price to pay. With the anti-magic-folks from this world cursing Storybrooke out of existence and it would be even more painful (oh, I love that scene, Lana Parrilla outdoing everybody else once more).

And, well, ~obviously~ this is my ideal version so this whole thing is the perfect breading ground for the new Beauty and the Beast story that slowly starts in S2. You know who is the perfect opportunist to weasel his way through this new threat? Gold. And he has Lacey now, who suits him just right. The girl who is attracted to danger for all the wrong reasons. After the episodes Lacey and The Evil Queen I have a different vision of how to put it all together. It can also fit with Henry calling Regina the villain and ending with him calling her Mom and seeing good. Because we get to examine these roles through the eyes of ordinary non-fairytale characters with bad experiences. Still right here in this world.

Go to Neverland later for different reasons or have it as a short secondary location to yes, bring in Pan (and Tinker Bell).

*neverending scream into the void*

I’m glad some of us haven’t let go. And for me I know it’s not because I dislike the show. Quite the opposite. I love it way too much (as a kid who grew up with all kinds of fairytales and obsessively watching especially eastern european fairytale films, that taught me it’s okay to have a dozen versions of the same thing, this show was kinda a dream come true; and I will cling to the potential of being the show of my specific dreams).

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #467

Top Ten Romantic Couples in Superhero Movies (& TV)

It’s Valentine’s Day this weekend. Woo, I guess? I dunno. I’m not generally cynical about holidays but Valentine’s Day does seem to be entirely focused on selling cards without any of the associated pleasantries of, say, Christmas or Halloween. I’d rather just try to be nice to my wife all year round. At least because of the apocalypse all the restaurants are closed so we can’t be tempted to pay through the nose for a set menu. Anyway, it gives me a strained excuse to tie this week’s Top Ten to something vaguely romantic.

Superheroes are often horny. This seems to be a defining characteristic of the artform. Whether it’s their descent from ancient myths, or their creators’ origins in writing romance books, or just a function of genre storytelling in the mid-twentieth century, there’s quite a lot of romantic angst in superhero stories. Pretty much every superhero has a significant other; Lois Lane even got her own comic that was actually called Superman’s Girlfriend, Lois Lane. It’s hard to conceive of many heroes without their primary squeeze, and often – as we get multiple media adaptations of characters – we can add diversity or a twist to the proceedings by picking a lesser-known love interest, or one from earlier in the character’s fictional history; for instance, Smallville beginning with Cark Kent’s teenage crush Lana Lang, or The Amazing Spider-Man swapping out Mary Jane Watson for Gwen Stacey.

Anyway, I’m talking this week about my favourite superhero couples. I’ve decided to focus on superhero adaptations – that is, the characters from movies and films based on superhero comics or characters. I find this a little bit easier as I don’t have a phenomenal knowledge of sixty years of Avengers comics, but I have seen all the movies a bunch. As many comics as I’ve read, and as much as I love various ink-and-paper pairings, I can arguably talk more authoritatively about the fillums than the funny books. And let’s be real here, kids: my favourite comic book romantic couple is Chromedome and Rewind in Transformers. Also if I split them in two I can talk about comic couples next year. Woohoo!

It really is hard thinking of these things nearly nine years in, folks.

So! Here, then, are my favourite movie-TV Couples in Capes. Obviously there’s a fair bit of MCU in here. And I’ve been pretty specific about “superhero” romances: so no Hellboy and Liz Sherman, sadly (and I do really like them in the movies, of which they really need to make a third). Some are civvies-and-supes; some are capes-and-capes. You’ll work it out.

Superman & Lois Lane (Christopher Reeve & Margot Kidder, Superman, 1978): who else? The most famous romance in all of comics, a combo so strong it remains the focus of pretty much every interpretation of the character, but arguably never better than here; so good are Reeve and Kidder that their fast-talking banter and inherent goodness set the template for a huge swathe of other comic adaptations to follow. She’s sarky and streetwise; he’s gormless and good-hearted. She leaps in where angels fear to tread, he’s an invulnerable alien in disguise. They have buckets of chemistry and an utterly believable (tentative) romance. They’re perfect performances and the scenes of Clark in Metropolis for the first time (including Superman’s balcony interview with Lois) are the best bits of an already excellent film.

Raven & Beast Boy (Tara Strong & Greg Cipes, Teen Titans Go!, 2014): on a totally different register, we have the comedy stylings of the Teen Titans. Raven and Beast Boy had a flirtatious relationship on the original Titans series, but on this longer-running and much more demented comedy follow-up, they were allowed to make the romance more official (I nearly said “explicit” but, y’know… it’s not that). The jokes and banter – BB the love-struck, jealous suitor, Raven the too-cool partner who feigns nonchalance – build and build, but every now and again they’re allowed a moment of genuine heartfelt romance, and it hits all the more strongly amidst the ultra-violence and outrageous comedy.

Captain America & Agent Carter (Chris Evans & Hayley Atwell, Captain America: The First Avenger, 2011): the premier couple of the MCU, Steve and Peggy spend a whole movie flirting (she sees the goodness of him even before he gets all hench) before finally arranging a date that, we all know, is very much postponed. Peggy casts a shadow over the rejuvenated Cap and the MCU as a whole, founding SHIELD, inspiring dozens of heroes, and counselling Steve to her dying days. She remains Steven’s true north (like Supes with Lois, Peggy’s an ordinary human who is the actual hero of an actual super-powered hero), guiding him through the chaos and tragedy of Endgame, until they both get to live happily ever after. Even though he snogged her niece.

Batman & Catwoman (Michael Keaton & Michelle Pfeiffer, Batman Returns, 1992): Pfeiffer delivers a barnstorming performance as Selina Kyle, all barely-supressed mania and seductive feline charm. The chemistry between her and Keaton is electric, and propels the film forward even when the Penguin-runs-for-mayor stuff gets a bit daft and icky. There are beautiful moments of romantic comedy when they’re both trying to cover up injuries they gave each other, and of course there’s “mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it” – a line that runs a close second to “dance with the devil” when it comes to Burton-Batman quotations (just ahead of “never rub another man’s rhubarb”). Burton, generally favouring the macabre villains over the straighter edges of the heroic Batman, nevertheless makes great play of the duality of the character, and how this is something he and Catwoman can share – both “split right down the centre” – but also how this means a happy ending for either of them is impossible.

Spider-Man & Mary Jane (Tobey Maguire & Kirsten Dunst, Spider-Man, 2002): whilst a lot of this is really down to the sexiness of them kissing upside-down in the rain, there’s a nice duality to Peter and MJ seeing through each other too: he sees the wounded humane soul beneath her it-girl persona; she sees the kind, caring man underneath his geek baggage. This arc plays out beautifully across the first two films (ending in that wonderfully accepting “Go get ‘em, tiger”) before sadly getting all murky and unsatisfying in the murky and unsatisfying third film. Still: that kiss.

Wonder Woman & Steve Trevor (Gal Gadot & Chris Pine, Wonder Woman, 2017): probably the film that hews closest to the Clark-Lois dynamic of the original Superman, to the point where it includes an homage to the alleyway-mugging scene as Diana deflects a bullet. Steve is Diana’s window into man’s world, showing her the horror of the First World War but managing to also be a sympathetic ally and never talking down or mansplaining anything. He’s a hero in his own right – very similar to another wartime Steve on this list – and very much an ideal match to the demigod he’s showing round Europe. And, of course, Gadot’s Diana is incredible, both niaive and vulnerable whilst also an absolute badass. There is an enduring warm chemistry to the pair, with a relationship which we actually see consummated – relatively rare for superheroes! The inevitability of his heroic sacrifice does nothing to lessen the tragedy, and no I’ve not seen Wonder Woman 1984 yet.

Hawkeye & Laura Barton (Jeremy Renner & Linda Cardellini, Avengers: Age of Ultron, 2015): I love these guys! I love that Hawkeye has a relatively normal, stable family life. He has a big old farmhouse that he wants to remodel, he’s got two kids and a third on the way… he’s got something to live for, something to lose. It humanises him amidst the literal and figurative gods of the Avengers. And they’re cute together, bickering and bantering, and of course she is supportive of his Avenging. I hope we get to see more of Laura and the kids in the Hawkeye series, and I hope nothing bad happens to them now they’ve all been brought back to life.

Wanda Maximoff & Vision (Elizabeth Olsen & Paul Bettany, Avengers: Infinity War, 2018): theirs is a difficult relationship to parse, because they’re together so briefly. They cook paprikash together in Civil War before having a bit of a bust-up, and by Infinity War they’re an official couple, albeit on the run (and on different sides). That movie does a great job in establishing their feelings for each other in very little screentime, with their heroic characteristics on full display, before the shockingly awful tragedy of Wanda killing Vision to save the galaxy, before Thanos rewinds time, brings him back to life, and kills him again, and then wins. Their relationship going forward, in WandaVision, is even trickier, because we don’t know what’s up yet, and at times they’re clearly not acting as “themselves”, defaulting to sitcom tropes and one-liners. Will Vision survive, and if he does, will their relationship? Who can say, but at least they’ll always have Edinburgh, deep-fried kebabs and all.

Batman & Andrea Beaumont (Kevin Conroy & Dana Delany, Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, 1993): woah, Batman’s back but it’s a different Batman, say whaaaat. Animated Batman has had a few romances, from the great (Talia al-Ghul) to the disturbingly icky (Batgirl, ewwww), but his relationship with Andrea Beaumont is the best. Tweaking the Year One formula to give young Bruce a love interest that complicates his quest is a golden idea, and making her a part of the criminality and corruptiuon that he’s fighting is a suitably tragic part of the Batman origin story. Conroy and Delany give great performances, him wringing pathos out of Bruce, torn between heart and duty (“It just doesn’t hurt so bad anymore,” he wails to his parents’ grave, “I didn’t count on being happy”), her channelling golden age Hollywood glamour. The tragedy of them rekindling their relationship years later, only to wind up on different sides again, is – again – so very Batman. It’s a beautiful, earnest, very Batman relationship, a great titanic tragedy of human emotions and larger-than-life ideals. And they both look good in black.

Harley Quinn & Poison Ivy (Kaley Cuoco & Lake Bell, Harley Quinn, 2020): this one’s a little bit of a cheat, as I’ve only seen the first season of the show, where Harley and Ivy don’t even get together. But in the wider, non-canonical sense of these being characters who are part of the pop-cultural ether, Harley and Ivy will always be a couple, I feel; and there’s definitely enough in there already to see the affection between them, not yet consummated. They adore each other, are always there for each other, and as the season follows Harley getting out of her own way and acknowledging the abuse of her relationship with Joker – and finally getting over it in the healthiest way possible for a bleached-white manic pixie in roller derby gear. And all through this, holding her hand, is Ivy. They’re utterly made for each other, and I’m glad that they do get together in season two. I hope that Margot Robbie’s rendition of the character can likewise find happiness with a flesh-and-blood Ivy. Hell, just cast Lake Bell again. She’s great.

Just bubbling under – and I’m really gutted I couldn’t fit them in – was Spider-Man & M.J. from Spider-Man: Far From Home. Like Batman, I’m comfortable including multiple continuities here, and those cuties offer a different spin on a classic relationship.

[deniigi]

Hi! So in sidebars you've mentioned stuff like Louis is a lot of peoples Spidey Ideal and that Miles is the favorite Spidey in Brooklyn, so I was wondering if you would be willing to expand on how the general public sees the spidey team?

Hi anon!

So the spidey team in general is pretty popular in the state, but the copy cats (Miles, Louis, Angel and Dave) are especially popular in the city. It’s kind of how people tell who is and isn’t a city local these days like, you ask them who their favorite Spidey/Team Red member is and if they start stammering or immediately choose the original Spidey, you know they’re a poser.

Those city people who truly pick Peter as their favorite Spidey catch loads of flack for it because like, everyone loves Peter. Peter’s the obvious choice. Most folks can find something in him to relate to.

But Peter can often be a little skittish and aloof when it comes to certain interactions, problems, and people. For example, if someone just grabbed Peter on the street while he was in the suit, he might try to punch them first before realizing what was going on--he’s got a lot of trauma that people aren’t aware of and his nice-friendly persona sometimes contradicts with the reality of his situation which is that he is a man with superstrength, lethal abilities, and years upon years of fighting experience. All that can make him a little unpredictable and that, in turn, can make him frightening at times.

This all works against his popularity, especially with middle-aged folks and authority figures.

So in terms of popularity based on community engagement, Louis is by far the most popular Spidey; some of that is because people mistake him to be Peter all the time. Many folks think that Peter is taller than he looks online (Pete is like, almost scraping 5′10″. Louis is about 6′1″/6′2″. Peter looks tall next to Angel and Miles, but between the others on Team Red, he’s still the shortest) and so they fall into the trap of giving him height he absolutely does not have.

Those who do recognize Louis as distinct from Peter (from the slightly toned down color of his suit and his lace-up boots) love him because he’s the gentlest Spidey and it shows in the ways that he will take time to talk to people who are committing crimes or who are victims. He sticks around to chat after a situation has been deescalated to figure out where the victim or perp is and if/where he can refer them for help if they’re calm enough to accept it. It’s a little thing that makes a big difference in terms of feeling cared for. While Peter will walk someone home and make them laugh to feel less scared in the moment, Louis has a list of community service orgs or resource centers, etc, which he keeps fliers and numbers for, so if one of his perps is say, struggling with an addiction problem or seems to be acting like they need some mental health support, he’ll offer them a place and a number. or if they ask, he’ll walk them to the location in question.

Louis is a great Spidey for connecting with people, even though he’s not the most skilled fighter on the team.

Miles is stupid popular in Brooklyn. Ever since someone caught him and his little accent whooping around the city on video, he’s been their favorite. He brings such a bright energy to the place that he kind of fits in with the busy-ness of the world around him. He makes people excited and he inspires pride in them as a symbol of hope. He’s really proud of his community, too. He does a lot of his work in the south and he wears sweaters and shoes and hats with the word ‘Brooklyn’ written on them. He takes loads of selfies and participates in a lot of memes and playful street heckling/games and has even wormed his way to the top of the polls with that tricky demographic of 8-17 and 35-50 years-old in his home borough. He’s much less popular in Manhattan and Queens than the older Spideys and is virtually unknown outside of the city (he’s getting there though, as people see Peter giving him more and more responsibility.)

Now Angel is super popular with girls, women, and femme folks of all ages, but she’s especially beloved among the femme-tending sort from about 5-15yo. Because she speaks Spanish, she also has a substantial popularity among Latine folks. She’s sassy and she’s brash and she’s not even a little apologetic for what she does or how she does it. She holds her own between the two big Spideys and has even proven herself to be able to bully Daredevil and Deadpool on occasion. She’s got a lot of ‘fuck with me and I’ll fuck with you twice as hard’ energy, which people in Mahattan and the Bronx love. She’s probably the third most popular Spidey, after Peter and like Miles, she also has a social media presence, only hers is less community-based and more for her entertainment.

Her twitter consists largely of her and Miles fighting and taking the piss out of Peter while he can’t defend himself.

People love this drama. They learn a lot about the other Spideys from Angel’s twitter and a lot of what they think they know about the others comes from there.

The man who is really shit out of luck here is Dave.

Matt’s identity as Daredevil was kind of an open, but unconfirmed secret in Hell’s Kitchen. Since he packed up and shipped off, and since Daredevil seemed to vanish with him, only to be occasionally sighted on the other coast, he accidentally confirmed the theory for a lot of folks. And in a way, a lot of them were delighted by Matt’s whole two-faced persona and his extremely bad attempts to keep the two faces separate. They got fond of him. So Dave faced a shitload of resistance at first. Even more so when there were these other shitty Daredevils running around, being dramatic and murder-y. The team all thought that after those guys were chased off, Dave’s popularity would increase, but that has emphatically not been the case.

People in Hell’s Kitchen are very attached to their Matt-DD and they continue to look at Dave with harsh judgement. He’s not silly enough or acrobatic enough for their tastes. Matt was the kind of guy to crash through a bus window, stumble over a load of folks, and bolt out the other side. Dave is the kind of guy who goes ‘well that’s not nice--who has to clean up that glass?’ and so goes around.

Basically, he’s not enough of a Daredevil for them. He’s not stupid, reckless, or devil-may-care enough, so he just doesn’t scratch that same itch in terms of embodying a Hell’s Kitchen-er identity or attitude. The community tolerates him because he does good work, but they all know when Matt’s in town to visit and when he is and he’s out with Dave chasing after his heels, the residents find it in their hearts to soften their opinions of Dave for the time being. (the jury’s still out on Sam for Hell’s Kitcheners, although the folks in SF, who know Daredevil and Blindspot as a two-man team, are totally on board with him.)

Phew! That was a lot of explaining! Hope this helps, though, anon!

[awed-frog]

in which caesar doesn’t do anything much and all the women are named julia

[Hi, this is me stanning Adrian Goldsworthy’s biography of Caesar. I studied Classics, but not this period, so all I can contribute here are squeals of delight, a few mistakes and the occasional witty comment. If you’d like to know more, please buy the book - it’s really good and a fun read.]

PART 2

The thing is - there’s a lot of boring relevant political stuff going on in this chapter, but I’m mostly fascinated by the glimpses we get into the world of Roman women. 

As I said, this is not really my area, so I know random, unconnected facts about how life was like for them; also it doesn’t make much sense to talk about ‘Roman women’, because, as a reminder, ‘Rome’ stretches from the 14th century BC to the 14th century AD, came to include dozens of very different regions, and obviously was home to an incredibly diverse population. And if we’re talking about the late Republican / imperial aristocracy, there’s a sharp divide anyway: on the one hand, the ‘ideal woman’ is the same old model we’re all used to and heard about (silent, obedient, virtuous, chaste, a perfect mother and so on), but on the other, Roman noblewomen had a lot more freedom than, say, their Greek counterparts, so there was usually some political scheming going on - something that in Greece was reserved to a handful of very well-placed courtesans. 

(In this sense, think about the contrast between Lucretia, the mythological wife of Collatinus, whose fridging created the Republic, and Agrippina, mother of Nero, empress and all-round badass bitch.)

Anyway, this chapter made me think about women because it starts with Caesar being born and getting his name - it’s sort of an urban legend, btw, that every single Roman had three names: that was just for the Moste Noblest - and how Goldsworthy casually mentions that, unlike men, women of noble birth would just take their family surname as first name. In Caesar’s family, for instance, all the women were named Julia.

(As a reminder: his given name was Caius, then ‘Julius’ identified the tribe, and finally ‘Caesar’ was a nickname that was possibly given to his grandfather for something elephant-related. 

People whose grandfathers did not do elephant-related stuff generally never enjoyed the prestige of a funny nickname passed down through the generations.)

So it’s bad enough that twins might be named ‘Peter and Not-Peter’ or ‘Peter and Twin’, but imagine going to the park with your buggy and meeting your old friend Oldest She-Jones (daughter of Ferdinand Jones), now married to George David Taylor, and her five kids - Louis David Taylor, She-Taylor, She-Taylor the Second, She-Taylor the Third and She-Taylor Born on Christmas. So damn cute, and also the reason why the Romans never developed smartphones or social media - how the hell are you supposed to find someone on Vultocodex when every single cousin and aunt has the exact same name?

Poor management, that is.

But anyway - as I said, there’s a dissonance here because women being treated like garbage (like, not given normal names and married off at fourteen) also led to the very peculiar phenomenon: generations of (male) politicians and VIPs being raised by very forceful, strong, and ambitious (widowed) mothers. Because if you count old age, wars, trampolining injuries (let’s be honest, men have always been obsessed with attempting dangerous stunts just for the fun of it) and the general risks of Roman politics, it was very usual for a noble kid to not even remember his father at all.

(Nero is a good example of how weird and all-consuming this boy-mother relationship could become - there’s entire books about it, but I’d point 16-and-over readers to Suetonius’ Life of Nero for details.

Keep in mind 95% of it is propaganda because Suetonius hated Nero, but still. HBO-worthy stuff in there.)

All this to say - we know that Caesar had a very close relationship with his mom (named ‘Aurelia’ because - you guessed it - she came from the Aurelii family), who was a near perfect figure of virtue, intelligence, beauty and common sense. Very powerful in her own right, Aurelia raised Caesar basically on her own, because her (much older) husband was either away at war or dead for most of their marriage.

Aside from drinking in Aurelia’s wisdom, Caesar’s education also included the normal lessons noble Roman boys were required to learn: self-worth, narcissism, delusional manias, rhetoric, martial arts, horse-riding, and writing really bad fanfiction based on Greek myths.

And now for the MEANWHILE part.

(I have no idea why this gif was tagged ‘meanwhile’, but I’m not enough of an idiot to let it go to waste, so.)

Meanwhile, all sort of messes were going on.

As I’m sure you remember, at some point the consul was Marius - Caesar’s uncle and a military genius, but not much of a politician. His negotiation tactic of choice was secretly inviting groups of unconnected people to his house on the same night, serving them dinner in two separate rooms so they wouldn’t see one another and try to work out some kind of agreement between them. Whenever a new point came up, Marius would say he had diarrhoea, pretend to run to the bathroom and instead sit down with the second group and see what they thought about the first group’s proposal.

(Isn’t ancient Rome magnificent?)

A big problem Marius had to deal with was how to grant citizenship to the allied tribes in Italy without pissing off current citizens. Basically no one wanted these other guys to be given new rights, but since they supplied more than half the soldiers of the Roman army and got nothing in return, their patience was running a bit thin. At some point, Roman bureaucrats started to erase foreign-born citizens from their lists claiming they were not actual citizens (something so openly dishonest NO OTHER GOVERNMENT would EVER attempt it again), and next yet another tribune working on a citizenship reform was stabbed to death in the street. 

So the allies went to war. 

(This war, confusingly, is known as the Social War, because ‘socius’ means ‘ally’ in Latin.)

As you can imagine, it was a disaster. Most of the allied communities had been part of the Roman republic for I don’t want to check but let’s say decades, they lived side by side with Roman families and fought in the same wars, so it was more of a civil war than anything else. Some tribes chose to remain faithful to Rome, others didn’t. Lots of people died.

Caesar was too young to be a soldier, but this was Cicero’s first taste of war (bet you never thought of that weaselly weasel as a soldier, uh? appearances can be deceiving, folks!). Marius was also involved, but since he was old as shit and had famously weak and leaky guts (hahahhaha), he mostly stayed out of active combat, which wasn’t all that normal for a Roman general. In the end, the whole of Italy, down to defeated tribes, cows, dogs and random patches of mossy rocks, was granted citizenship and everyone went home. Their votes, however, were inserted in the system in such a way that they didn’t count much. 

On the whole, the one winner of this war was Lucius Cornelius Sulla, one of the military commanders, who became a consul soon after.

Another war, because this is Rome and Romans were dicks, but! this one was in the East, which means every single soldier would get super rich and also! wars in the East were considered easy because *insert racist trope here* and! Sulla had been promised that, as the big winner of the Social War, he could go there with his legions and basically enjoy this Disneyland of golden cups and ultraviolence but! at the last moment, Marius, who never liked Sulla much, managed to snatch the commandership from him, which! was completely legal but also *insert outraged emoji* and wait for it! instead of going gentle into the good night, Sulla made a fiery speech to his soldiers all like GUESS WHAT FOLKS WE’RE STUCK HERE SCRATCHING OUR TESTICULI AND THOSE IDIOTS FROM THE 25TH ARE TAKING YOUR GOLD AND YOUR UNWILLING WOMEN and! Sulla’s entire army marched! on! the! city! of! Rome!

It was the first time a Roman army had ever invaded Rome. Nobody was expecting it, and people panicked. Sulla’s men won easily, burned down some buildings, killed some people, generally had a great time; and then Sulla announced a bounty for anyone who’d disembowel his political enemies (including Marius) because he didn’t have time to go to Braavos and learn how to do it himself (remember, he still had his war waiting for him in the East).

(This turned out to be a success, btw. One guy was even killed by his slave - Sulla gave him the promised reward, then shoved him off a mountain because duh, slave and “When I said ‘anyone’, I meant people, not IKEA furniture” and “Honestly”.)

As nobody could have imagined and/or predicted, as soon as Sulla left for Greece Weak Guts Marius came back with an army and took back the city, beheading his way to the Senate and leaving a trail of blood wherever he passed. As soon as he got there, however, he dropped dead - heart attack, trampolining, diarrhoea, who can tell - and the city was taken over by his second-in-command, Lucius Cornelius Cinna.

(Man, what a ride.)

Unfortunately, it’s impossible to know what Caesar was doing during this time.

Personally, I like to imagine him in Rome - a well-dressed, grey-eyed 15-year-old, freshly orphaned, horrified and exhilarated by the violence exploding all around him - I see him running down the streets, stopping to watch the corpses float in the dark waters of the Tiber, daring his friends to go and touch the severed heads nailed to the doors of the Senate; recognizing many of those heads as friends and colleagues of his father and uncle (passing a hesitant finger on the cold flesh, remembering how they’d once laughed and frowned and spoken about boring matters from the dais). 

The truth is, Caesar was just a kid. He was supposed to learn about the Republic, and his own role in making it great, by watching his elders. 

God knows what he actually learned, and what he thought, as he was passing through Rome’s paved streets, now shimmering with blood. 

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[hellyeahheroes]

Best Ongoing Team Books of 2018 - In text because I cannot make it in video

Okay, so my mic is broken, I have barely time to make it work with how many ever hours I’m working recently, so screw it. Last part of my promised list is long overdue anyway, so I’ll just drop it as a text. Apologies for this but yeah, sometimes stuff just piles up. I hope you’ll still enjoy my picks and check the 3 parts that made it to the video

Welcome to Best Books of 2018, the long-awaited final part. I’m terribly sorry it took me so, so terribly long but I had been forced to take many over hours at my day job and it just ate in my time. The rules are as before. The book must still be ongoing in 2018, even if only for a single issue. It also must have more than two issues published in two thousand eighteen. However, if a book got relaunched as effectively the same title, they count as one. This time we’re doing team books. So if you can, go check those titles out at your local store.

Number Ten: Super Sons and its continuation, Adventures of the Super Sons. Work of writers Peter Tomasi and Patrick Gleason with artwork by Carlo Barberi with issue twelve of the first series draw by Tyler Kirkham. Super Sons continue to be an absolute joy. The greatest asset of this story is that Jon and Damian are written as a pair of actual kids, with behavior we would find too childish with other people but appropriate with them. Which only adds charm to an already book that captures joys of being a kid and going on adventures and that embraces silver age weirdness with all kinds of strange stuff, from a bunch of alien kids idealizing Earth supervillains and modeling themselves after them to an alien versions of Cain and Abel and their House of Secret Mysteries. It is a book that you can just pick up, relax and enjoy, lose yourself in fluffy fun. Its time is limited as Adventures is just a mini but I think if there is one title on this list that is just pure escapism, bar themes touched in an issue where our heroes meet their future selves, it is this one.

Number Nine: House of Whispers by writer Nalo Hopkins and artist Domonike Stanton. One of my favorite out of the new Sandman Universe books, it tells a story of a spell gone wrong that results in the tied fate of goddess Erzulie from Vodou religion and girl named Latoya. The former ends up trapped in the Dreaming, cut from her worshippers and desperately needing to come back before she starves without worship. The latter loses her soul in the same accident and now is affected by Cotard’s delusion, a mental disorder that makes a living person believe they’re dead and worse, she can spread it like an infection. While absolutely fantastic with the weaved narrative I will say that at the time it might be even too heavy as the parts that deal with people affected by the delusion, especially Latoya and her girlfriend Maggie, often feel so outright depressing I had to put the book down and take a break. It is not a bad thing, not every comic book has to just make you feel entertained, especially not one aiming at evoking different emotions. But I need to recommend this one with a warning it is not for everyone as people who already feel down might only feel worse. Still, if you are looking for a book either heavily using themes from religion by far underexplored by literature and pop culture in a respectful way or for a book that might leave you shaken and made think, appreciate your life even, this is a book for you.

Number Eight is a tie: Justice League Dark by writer James Tynion the Fourth and artists Alvaro Martinez and Daniel Sampere as well as Justice League Odyssey by writer Joshua Williamson and artists Stjepan Sejic and Philipe Briones. Two of the new Justice League titles have their problems, I’ll admit it. The main villain in Justice League Dark comes off as invincible for the sake of it and the establishment of the Sisterhood of the Sleight hand only to destroy it rubs me the wrong way and Odyssey feels to have missed its impact moment due to delays and artist change. However, both books are still excellent in what they set to do, opening this new age in Justice League books and bringing them back to the flagship role. Be it dark atmosphere of JLD that isn’t mitigated by inclusion of either Detective Chimp or Wonder Woman, in fact it is a stroke of genius to have her confront the darker side of magic, or the outlandish space opera of Odyssey, with super likable cast playing game of cat and mouse with Darkseid himself, the books do bring new to the table and truly make the Justice League currently one of the strongest if not the strongest lines in the big two.

Number Seven: Rogue & Gambit and its continuation Mr & Mrs. X by writer Kelly Thompson and artist Pere Perez on the former and Oscar Balduza and David Lopez. I’m counting it as one book even if an important part, the wedding, took place in a different title and was fairly controversial. But Kelly Thompson has really shown that she feels the two and their relationship and uses as much of their history as possible to build on and inform said relationship. It is in how natural it comes off as, how strong their bond is but also how unafraid of testing it through their adventures Kelly Thompson is that really makes this book so unique. With the cancellation of X-Men: Red and Exiles and with how Uncanny X-Men and Age of X-Man seem in a contest who can drop more balls, this book is now the best ongoing in the X-Line and you will be doing yourself a disservice if you won’t check it out.

Number Six: Justice League by writers Scott Snyder and James Tynion the Fourth and artists Jim Cheung, Jorge Jimenez, Doug Mankhe, Mike Janin, Francis Manapul, Fazer Irving and Guillem March. This book decided to bring the Justice League back to its greatness and to my great surprise, it succeeded. Scott Snyder’s over the top imagination is a perfect fit for this title and in just a few issues he proved he is not afraid of breaking established boundaries and showing us that cosmology of DC Universe is much greater and more amazing than we might have thought, that everything we thought we know hides more secrets and there is always a new adventure right behind the corner. It asks important questions that, while not intended to be political, by Snyder’s own admission, I feel are still questions about life, a current state of the world and our expectations and ourselves. Upon seeing how flawed the world is, how flawed other people are, how flawed, in the end, we ourselves are, what is a correct course of action? Deny it and try to grind yourself into the idea of perfection you want to be even if it is impossible? Embrace your worst and care only about yourself? Or accept you have flaws, that you feel pain and trauma and realize you can still be a good person regardless? That is the theme of Justice League that makes me enjoy this book so much.

Also, they have hired Ferdinand the Minotaur to work at their cafeteria, that’s awesome.

Number Five: The Dreaming by writer Simon Spurrier and artist Bilquis Evely. The Dreaming is in peril. Dream of Endless has left his dominion, there is a hole in it through which strange things come, citizens find themselves in state of unrest and all beloved characters, from Lucien and Matthew to Merv Pumpkinhead and Eve to Cain and Abel are set on a course that will challenge them and will change them in unexpected ways, all while old faces like Glob and Brute come back and new ones like mysterious Dora and merciless Judge Gallows leave their mark on the place. The Dreaming plays with obvious political undertones but on a meta sense, it is another case of what Simon Spurrier is driven to do, to deconstruct the darker corners of comics and try to explore questions of responsibility and morality through it like he did with Legion and X-Force. This new, heavier, darker take on the Dreaming sucked me in instantly and I really hope the ride Spurrier has prepared for us is a long one.

Number Four: Exiles by writer Saladin Ahmed and artists Javier Rodrigues, Rod Reis and Joe Quinones. Exiles had another short-living comeback and it saddens me to see that it has already been cancelled, though not before qualifying on this list. I love Exiles as a series and a concept and the return with all-new cast and Blink was a welcome one. With adventures that are in equal parts fun and serious and characters with such amazing charm as a cartoon kid Wolverine or Valkyrie. What’s more is that the book had such amazing creative artwork, with Rodriguez especially giving it his all and creating some amazing visuals that truly matched increasingly crazier visions that Ahmed has weaved in front of him through the script. This was a top-notch creative team that I sure hope we’ll see them team-up once again on another project in the future. Meanwhile, while brief it it was still a pleasure to come back to this team of weirdos and outcasts hopping between dimensions, one crazier than the other.

Number Three: Wild Storm by writer Warren Ellis and artist John Davis Hunt. Now here is a book that benefits from its stated twenty four issues run. Wild Storm is a slow burn. But it is by far one of the most glorious slow burns in the history of comics. Ellis continues to create a gritty narrative that combines aliens, conspiracies, secret agencies, technological inventions and movie-like decompressed storytelling into a chilling, dark story that absolutely dominates with the atmosphere. The vision of Wildstorm Universe Ellis and Hunt created for us is absolutely captivating and the feel of the world at the verge of total war between two agencies that long time ago stopped caring for common folk, while Jacob Marlowe, Jenny Sparks, and John Lynch, each in their own way, race to stop them or deal with problems they unleash, is unlike any other. There is plain and simply no other book like this on the shelves right now and it is very unlikely there will be such a book soon after it ends.

Number Two: The Terrifics by writer Jeff Lemire and artists Ivan Reis, Evan Doc Sharner, Joe Bennett, Dale Eaglesham. Out of all New Age of Heroes Books this is undeniably the best one. A loving tribute to the original Fantastic Four stories that finds a new quality through use of characters that may fill similar archetypes but are different enough that each brings their own thing to the table, creating new dynamics that liven up known narratives while at the same time the artists manage to get creative, especially the issue that divides each page into a sort of camera following each of the four protagonists one panel per person and uniting them and dividing as they join together or split up, pushing the very boundaries of graphic storytelling as we know it. It is also a book full of warmth and joy and optimism we often do not see in books like that. It is truly a title that has a heart and imagination on its side and it is using them to their full potential.

Honorable Mentions: West Coast Avengers, Champions, Teen Titans

And our Number One is Runaways by writer Rainbow Rowell and artists Kris Anka and David Lafuente. It couldn’t be anything else. Runaways this year was plain and simply the best book on the shelves. Kris Anka’s beautiful art brings to life Rainbow Rowell amazing heart for these characters as she lets them face new challenges in their lives, creating story if teenagers at the verge of adulthood as they try to wrestle less with supervillains and more with their own fears and insecurities and this feeling of childhood and innocence lost for superhero life they never wanted, all as they try to rebuild and maintain their family. It is a story where greatest victories are not supervillain battles, which they seem to win by a fluke most of the time anyway, but to take a step forward, overcome your fear and doubt and admit to yourself that yes, you are worthy of happiness and you will be happy. In that Runaways is without a doubt the book that speaks to me the most and one I wait for every month. I cannot recommend this book enough.

So here are my final picks. I’m exhausted. I will say that recently all stuff in my life made working on the videos harder, especially now that i’m trying, against any better reason to record myself  and I might not be able to do it as regularly. I might think of reinventing the format and maybe relegate the channel to a different role in relation to my blog, which I think is by now much more popular. I still have learned a lot in that time of doing these videos and I wish to continue, maybe with a more focused vision. Thank you all for being so long with me and putting up with my nosense and rest assured, I shall return.

- Admin

[imaginexmeintheuniverse]

What do you think the X-boys Venus signs ( like in astrology) would be if you do that? Also, I love your blog and your writing!

A/N: awwwtysm kind anon Cafe Astrology as a reference!

Jubilee - Aries

I thought the description for this totally nailed Jubilee:up-front flirting, a little child-like, fun-loving, turned on by energy andactivity, and turned off by the relationship being too mature, stuffy, orvague. They hate vagueness and beating around the bush when they’re in arelationship with someone and need a lot of energy and stimulation to“keep it fresh”. “Their styleof expressing love can be maddeningly “me”-centered, but the right person forthem will find this approach charming” which I can totally see aspossibility and plausible misunderstanding with little Jubes. A particular linesold me on this headcanon:“ Arieslikes to take the lead in love (even if their Sun Sign is gentle Pisces) — letthem, at least most of the time"— and Jubilee is definitely a SunPisces!

Hank - Taurus

We all know Hank has is more Beast side when it comes to thebedroom and when Taurus in Venus, the person tends to be centered on tangiblecomforts and are said to be satisfying lovers. Dependable and loyal pins Hankprecisely, and he is definitely the type to love physical comfort in arelationship like touches and cuddling. This being said, Venus Tauruses requirea certain dependability and predictability and can be threatened by high-pacedsituations which sure as hell sounds like Hank to me. The only worry his s/omay have is if he gets too settled and it seems that the relationship is too"comfortable and settled”. Loyalty is a must in a relationship withHank and expressing that and how much he means to you will go a long way!

Warren - Gemini orAquarius

*A/N: I feel like he could be either!

“Venus in Geminipeople will try to win over the object of their affection with wittyconversation, displaying just how much they “know”, and demonstrating theirdiverse interests” which sure sounds like Warren because he’s are sucha fucking show-off. Always needing stimulating conversation, Venus Geminis areplayful and love to tease just like Warren is (he’s SUCH a fucking tease) andterrified of super committed relationships cus he doesn’t like being tied down.Appreciates lightheartedness and willing to talk for hours on end, althoughsome fo the deeper issues in the relationship might be less comfortable for himto address. He tends to be spontaneous and unpredictable which keeps things funand exciting, and on his end needs someone who will keep him on his toes whilealso being thoughtful.

On the Aquarius side, which is in a way very similar toGemini, Warren attracted to uniqueness and intellect in a relationship and isattractive with his open-minded, rebellious, and interesting qualities. Helikes being unconventional when it comes to matters of the heart and takesgreat pride on being unique. He might come off as detached, and at times needsspace. Venus in Aquarius people need someone who is also a good friend and whowill dream with them. He will thrive off of his partner telling them howinteresting he is and giving him freedom.

Jean - Cancer

She’s sensitive, caring, and gives so much love, comfort,and security when it comes to any relationship. “Venus in Cancer men and women show their love by caring for you. Theypay more attention to your feelings than your words, and observe you rather carefully”which is exactly what she would do. The girl has telekinesis, but even whenyour thoughts aren’t sorted out she’ll always pick up on signs and focus on howyou feel. A safe, solid relationship is the Venus in Cancer style, but there’snothing boring about building a solid foundation to a healthy relationship. Shehas a hard time forgetting if she’s been hurt, fears rejection, and can bemoody at times, so her partner has to be someone who is kind, patient, and willgive her reassurance to help build her confidence.

Alex - Leo

Love is THE most important thing to a Leo. Even if it maynot seem like it, Alex feels a lot and would have a hard time separating sexfrom love. He’s repressed his feelings too much throughout his life and may notbe the best about talking about feelings at first, but love and having someonewho will love him as much as he loves them is so important to him. Loves theflirting game, is really loyal, experience and a total show off, and thrivesoff romantic attention from their partner. He has one of the biggest hearts andwill literally talk about and show off his partner whenever he can. Venus inLeo will feel threatened when they’re in a relationship that’s gone stale andwill get very insecure when they feel their partner behaves with indifferencetowards them. Alex takes so much pride in his relationship and is veryexpressive with his love.

Kurt - Virgo

Our little blueberry is not big on flirting, but “their appeal lies in their dedication, theirwillingness to work on the relationship, and to make the relationship work inreal terms”. With Kurt it would be about all the little things andgestures that show how much attention they pay to every detail about you. Venusin Virgo will make their way into your heart slowly and quietly and next thingyou know, it’ll hit you all at once that you’ve already fallen for them. Kurtcan be shy, reserved, and insecure due to his lack of experience, so he needsreassurance, and in turn his partner will receive the most sensitive and caringlover. He’s very honest and will point out flaws and what he doesn’t know to beinsecurities but it’s all out of love!

Ororo - Libra

This one was hands down our lovely Storm. Turned off by badmanners and aggressiveness, she puts emphasis on fairness and being in arelationship with her really makes you into a team. A gentle lover who is 100%into the relationship and hates imbalance. She may sometimes come off asinsincere or superficial at times, but that’s only because she has a more“polished” in regards to love— don’t be fooled, she is kind, just,and will do whatever it takes to make the relationship work so long as she ismet with equal effort from her partner.

Erik - Scorpio

“Venus in Scorpiopeople attract others with their intensity and willingness to commit, [andthey] give you their complete attention” Erik is definitely intenseand is very sexually expressive. His actions, though may be a little toointense at times, are always done in love and his feelings run deep even thoughhe may not express them directly. He’s fearless and committed in those intimatemoments in spite of wondering how someone as amazing as you could love themonster he sometimes perceives himself as. He can be possessive, jealous,  and a little overbearing, and although youknow it’s because he loves you, it’s hard to communicate with him because,again, he’s not very direct when it come to feelings. However, when it comes toyou he knows how to cut right through the bullshit and see right throughwhatever mask you put up. The most passionate and pleasing lover, in otherwords, the sex is mind-blowing. He knows how to make you feel loved andappreciated (he basically worships you) and he’ll explore all of you, mind,body, and soul.

Peter - Sagittarius

Growth through a relationship seems to describe Peterromantically better than anything. “Theseare idealistic lovers who want you to appreciate their beliefs, visions, andideals” but more than anything they want to experience and grow withtheir partner. Although he tries his best, sometimes Peter doesn’t quite seemto fully grasp the balance between lighthearted and serious, acting like onewhen it is time for the other you can find comfort in knowing that he’s tryinghis best. Venus Sagittariuses don’t typically commit in their relationships aseasily as others and are turned off by the extremes of dullness or romanticoverkill. Much like with commitment, you can’t stay stuck on just one thingwith Peter, he needs space and time to come around. “When the going gets tough in their relationship, they have anoverwhelming need to run away” which is one of the major things heworks on once in a relationship and needs his partner to be his anchor attimes. He’s definitely not one to judge based off social class and instead isattracted by people who, like him, are trying to live life.

Scott - Capricorn

“Venus inCapricorn people will try to win your heart by displaying self-control,presence of mind, and responsible behaviour” which is pretty much whatScott does. He puts pressure on himself to always have it together meaning thathis partner needs to be someone who will appreciate his ambition andself-control, while also reassuring him that he’s doing a good job and needs togive himself a break. He’s not very expressive when it comes to love and cansometimes be too practical, despite wanting romantic intimacy real bad. He canoverwork himself due to an immense fear fo rejection and not being enough. He’ssteady, reliable, and will show you off constantly but in a more toned downway. He is the last person to run away from responsibility or relationshiptrouble and will always be true in his love.

Charles - Pisces

“They areunimpressed by your status, and love and accept you for all that you are inside” That being said, this man will love all of you unconditionally— all quirksand flaws included. With him, you’ll always have a soft-hearted and sensitivepartner who is completely weak for all those little tender moments. “They love the underdog and are attracted towayward folks, or those in need of a little help.” One of thedownfalls of that mindset is that sometimes it can be a little much when he’sconstantly trying to save everyone and it can be hard to have to share the oneyou love with the rest of the world. Unfortunately, this also means that he maynot always be fully honest with his partner out of fear of hurting them. Venusin Pisces people really like to feel out the relationship; seeing where it goesand not wanting to worry too much about the future which can become troublingwhen they have a hard time committing. He is, however, very understanding,forgiving, and willing to make sacrifices. He is giving and completely selflessin love.

Masterlist

[rhodeskara67-blog]

American Bulldog how To Find The Perfect Breed For life-style

4) Houston Texans-Gary Kubiak will show his potential as coach this fall. The Texans have had a rough go inside their brief history and they really benefit a strong division. These kind of are possibly the shocker team of the AFC this year. Houston has been hungry to acquire a playoff contender for over 10 years since the Oilers left for Nashville and are starting to get restless. Correctly put secure. Since taking the reigns belonging to the Texans, Kubiak has been building the c's brick by brick and they have shown potential the last number of seasons of knocking regarding door towards contending and this is 4 seasons they start contending. 1) Chicago Bears-Three years removed on the trip to your Super Bowl, "Da Bears" may not make it to mega senses Bowl though they have the heart, determination, and weak division give it an ideal shot. Picking up Jay Cutler from Denver is the piece they wanted to help people today. They will sweep their division this year but most likely not fair too against the remainder the group. They will win their division but not the assembly. http://national-lottery.co.uk with curing illness or any aspect of yankee life is jobs in a range of areas. What about the health workers inside of the cancer market segment? How many would lose their jobs if a remedy was found tomorrow? How about immigration and education, after we seriously attacked a "cure"? What when we reduced the government 30% over the next twenty years, because propose in my opinion? Will government workers and politicians really should try to get real jobs? System the issue with fixing America that scares government folks the most: having just to walk with us mere mortals in in which you sector and earn your status from a globally competitive workplace. Or, gasp, open your own business without government subsidies and maintain to compete against other American enterprises. The Cleveland Show is really a spin-off from chicken fight starring Peter Griffin's hilarious black friend, Cleveland Brown, wonderful family. I'm certain it will a hit, though we'll have observe just just how long it final and the hho booster will bring any more spin-offs as well. https://sabungayam.rocks will air at 8:30 p.m. on sundays before chicken fight, may be returning at its regular time for the eighth season on Monk. I could go on and so forth but I'd like to see to help make the point I'm different from any American you've got met because I have fought many battles during life and feel that i have an additional big fight in me: to cure cancer the disease and the "cancers" of complacency in this particular country. The bottom line is we're all just sabong regular people on equivalent playing field in God's eyes. However the Christian world we reside in is quick to judge others they do not fit the mold or are not the prototype of what some think Christianity should be. But the standard was set over 2000 in the past by the Ruler and Creator with the Universe was a man and died for that sins, nailing them all to the cross. But he resurrected with new life, giving us opportunity for an awakened spirit and new perspective! The World was filmed in Key West for 2006, and also the current season in Denver has just began broadcasting. The Real World allows viewers to a group of strangers living together cock fighting 1 house and find out how they interact along on a daily basis. Many for the housemates are young and straightforward for college-ages to relate to because perform similar things as college students, such as clubbing and discussing relationship woes. The CSI series furthermore one of my top anticipated acts. The original CSI is my favorite, and Jorja Fox (Sara Sidle) should be returning towards show for your premiere. This will be the tenth season of CSI: Crime Scene Analyze. CSI Miami will be returning for the eighth season running and adding whole new regular on the show, Eddie Cibrian. As well course, CSI New York will also return with an all new cast member, Sarah Jackson.

[radiantresplendence]

So guys, go see the Miles Morales Movie. 

Spoiler Free Review

So, I knew the film was good going into it. Maybe I underestimated the savviness of Sony Pictures Animation (not all that hard to do) or maybe I just love comics, particularly Spider-Man, but I was impressed. And I’m hard to impress most of the time. We’re living in a world where Sony did a Miles Morales movie before Marvel Studios and it’s not just good, it’s really good. Also, it’s not just Sony, it’s Sony Pictures Animation. What that says about the state of the timeline is up for interpretation, but I think it’s clear that something is seriously off. Regardless, it bears some fruit. Some really good fruit at that. 

The film is ultimately a superhero origin story for Miles in the form of about the most abridged interpretation of his origin in the Ultimate Spider-Man line of comics. It doesn’t follow the Spider-Verse arc from the comics at all, which isn’t  a bad thing in my opinion. As cool as cosmic vampires, hordes of Peter Parkers and the Uni-power are, they’re not exactly as relatable to the general audience as a couple choice Spider-People throughout the multiverse. 

Our denizens from the spider-verse explored in the film are the ever-popular Peter, Miles and Spider-Gwen who get some supporting characters in the form of Spider-Man Noir (Nick Cage), Spider-Ham and Peni Parker (she who I admittedly aren’t really familiar with). It’s not too loaded with Spider-folks, which is good, but I would have liked to see a more bonkers interpretation of Peter among the cast, such as Ghost Spider. I really don’t know how feasible that would have been do to Sony/Marvel character rights, but I would have liked to see that regardless. 

Miles comes off as a very relatable school-aged teenager. His relationship with his family comes off as very genuine and central to his arc throughout the movie. It’s a coming of age arc with Miles going to some sort of boarding school for gifted kids before getting involved in Spider-shenanigans. Normally I’m not a huge fan of coming of age YA stuff, but this movie was so damn charming that it won me over. It’s a really good interpretation of Miles, including some of the character's baggage, I really liked it. 

Peter is Peter. Everybody loves Spider-Man. He’s one of the most popular superhores and was Marvel’s indisputed golden boy for a very long time. This interpretation is complicated to go in depth with without exposing plot details, but it’s ultimately the Peter Parker we know and love with a twist that relates into his arc in the film. You really feel for him and his humanity does shine through in the film. 

Gwen Stacy plays the role of the straight woman of the group, even though she herself is unorthodox and doesn’t exactly fit the ideal Spider-Hero role that the main trinity of the cast tries to fill. Before the conclusion of Miles’s arc, she does certainly come the closest however. For most of the film she’s cool and competent, with a fair amount of wit. I do wish they played a little more into her tragic origin story, as she’s a pretty youthful character. It does play a role, just not quite to the extend that I would have liked to see. 

I don’t have much to say about the general plot that isn’t spoilery. The villain's Kingpin. His motivations check out enough to suspend my disbelief in the viability of his scheme. He has an arc, although it’s nothing too terribly special, it’s not offensive or lacking either. Miles’s relationship with his family and other companions is tested. It’s sound. 

This film shines in term of its animation. It’s super stylized and absolutely based off of the comic books that it draws inspiration from. There’s loads of color and interesting shots with unique cuts between shots and scenes. The film knows that its animated and takes full advantage of the medium. It’s really refreshing to watch. 

The movie has this interesting framerate quirk that makes it feel kinda like a storyboard (or a comic). I don’t know if this was used to cut down on the number of frames needed to render, but either way it just adds to the stylization of the film, even if it’s a cost cutting measure, that was taken into account as part of the art. 

I really liked most of the character designs. The way the film distinguishes people from alternate universes through the use of animation is really fresh as they utilize different styles of animation to do it. Not only does this keep the characters interesting to watch, but it also lets you easily distinguish them even in complicatedly choreographed scenes without being overly reliant on the color palate.

My only gripe with character design is Kingpin’s. He’s kinda overly blocky and not super pleasant to look at. I mean, I know it’s Kingpin, he’s supposed to be hulking, but I feel they overdid it in the way that just sorta falls flat. 

Another thing to mention is that this film is funny. Its really funny. I don’t often laugh out loud in a theater, but I did multiple times in this movie at points where I was explicitly supposed to. The film is well-written, it knows exactly what it wants to be and it’s honestly a breath of fresh air. 

I don’t have any spare thoughts for this one, as I put off review writing for the duration of the holidays, but my conclusion is such: If you’re a fan of Miles Morales, see the movie. If you’re a fan of Spider-Man, see the movie. If you’re a fan of comic books, see the movie. If you’re a fan of animation, see the movie. If you want to go to the movies for some reason and haven’t seen it, see the movie. 

This movie was excellently done and the time, effort and care that was put into it really shows. The big screen does it a service. 9.0/10

[agayworthfightingfor]

do all the identity asks!!

1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

Read: Chameleon Moon by @thesylverlining, it perfectly encompasses just.. who I am, what I’m about. Everything is going to be okay, because we’re not gonna stop trying until it is okay.

Watch: Uh... honestly I don’t really know. I don’t watch things??

Listen to: Wolf 359. Eiffel is... very me. Episode 51 (Shut Up and Listen) really kind of... gave me the drive to just keep going, keep fighting, keep trying to be the best version of myself I can be. It was released exactly when I needed to hear it

2. have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?

Terry Pratchett’s writing style is very, very similar to how words form in my brain. I started reading Soul Music (wasn’t able to get very far, it didn’t keep my attention) and was just like Well Shit.

3. list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

Undertale/Deltarune: Ralsei

Chameleon Moon: Gabriel (and Rose, and Rowan, and Finn... and like half the cast lmao)

SAYER: Dr. Brady, probably. I don’t particularly identify with anyone but his eternal exasperation with everyone on his team is a fucking mood

The Penumbra Podcast: Rita, though I aspire to have Peter Nureyev’s fashion sense.

Wolf 359: Eiffel

Uhh, I don’t think I’m really in a lot of other fandoms?

4. do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?

I mean I picked this one myself, so I like it quite a lot. :p

5. do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?

I uh... tend to place my worth on how much I’ve accomplished, which for someone with disabilities is kinda unhealthy tbh?

6. are you religious/spiritual?

Spiritual, definitely, though I’m still working out a lot of fuckery around it. I’m also pretty strongly connected to being UU, bc that’s how I grew up and it’s shaped a lot of who I am

7. do you care about your ethnicity?

Uhh. I mean I’m white and like I’m aware of that, idk really how to answer this question?

8. what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?

My Chemical Romance got me through the worst parts of my life. Uh... I’m a bit brainfogged so I can’t think of much else.

9. are you an artist?

Yup! :D

10. do you have a creed?

Not... really? I try to keep to my word and be kind to others, but thats it.

11. describe your ideal day.

Uh... I wake up, I get to snuggle all my partners, there’s good food, I get to play fun games, more Chameleon Moon content is up... yeah.

12. dog person or cat person?

Both!!!! Also rabbits!

13. inside or outdoors?

Inside pls, outside is cold and when it’s not there’s bugs.

14. are you a musician?

Mhm! I play clarinet and I really like to sing (though I’m a bit shy about singing in front of people)

15. five most influential books over your lifetime.

1. Chameleon Moon2. Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (kept me sane when I was in and out of the hospital)3. Eragon (One of my first headmates was a fictive of Arya)4. Uhh... can’t think of any more honestly.

16. if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same?

Definitely not.

17. would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?

Yeah it’s pretty good, I think I come off pretty accurately.

18. what’s your patronus?

A lynx!

19. which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?

Hufflepuff all the way lmao

20. would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else?

Uh... anywhere that has magic I can use tbh.

21. do you love easily?

Yup, probably too easily tbh. I love quickly and I love intensely.

22. list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.

1. Dissociating2. Loving my partners3. Talking to folks on Discord4. Playing Overwatch5. Watching Youtube

23. how often would you want to see your family every year?

Maybe like... 2-3 times? Not super often but not never.

24. have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone?

Not entirely sure what you mean, but if you mean like being super in sync with someone, then @f0xf0ce and I are always like that lol

25. could you live as a hermit?

Oh god no, I start to have issues when I don’t get physical affection for like a couple hours.

26. how would you describe your gender/sexuality?

I have no clue lmao

27. do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?

On days where I can manage to like. dress up and look okay then yes. Gremlin!me is not a great representation of actual!me

28. on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?

Certain things set me off at like a 3, but honestly overall it’s more like a 7, it’s really not that easy to actually piss me off.

29. three songs that you connect with right now.

Far From Perfect - Rise AgainstScared to Death - HIM Wired Wrong - Steam Powered Giraffe

30. pick one of your favorite quotes.

Uhhhh.... idk tbh? too brainfogged to answer

[unhingemyneurons]

top 15!

ty baby! Since this is a long list i'm gonna do fav lyrics and memories with each song

1. Get Bummed Out by Remember Sports

"i can take care of myself, i just wish sometimes that I didn’t always have to"

my post-break up on repeat song. this line specifically hit so hard, i'm good at being alone but i don't always wanna be!!!!!!!

2. Myspace 2009 by Club Sofa

"sent a dirty text message, 'can i sleep between your thighs?' well I hate myself and I know she hates the mess"

this song is so sexy and gay and real, i'm obsessed w it

3. Ambrosia by Rosie Tucker

"nothing is simple, just 'cause you wish that it is"

another post-breakup song. i cried to this one sm it is so beautiful and melancholic. i adore the way rosie tucker writes.

4. Young and Doomed by Frank Iero and the Future Violets

"most of the time I'm convinced I survived and that's fine, but it's far from ideal...but I'll deal."

UGH this whole song feels like the perfect representation of becoming a bad, paranoid, and closed off person after trauma and like being aware of it but not knowing how to stop it. i fkn adore this song.

5. Altitude (This Party Sucks) by Mal Blum

"you know me so well, but not like you should"

I've been a Mal Blum fan forever, he's my fav artist to go on walks to. Long live anti-folk.

6. already answered

7. Gay Bar by Rosie Tucker

"saint peter clad in leather, she was looking quite salacious. but the fire never met her eyes"

more beautiful rosie words, i just love all of the gay imagery revealed through religious imagery she just Gets It you know?

8. I Eat Salads Now by Sidney Gish

"these sweet instincts ruin my life, there’s no progress, just good times. bitch, I’m wasted, just kidding, I’m high. we’re gonna go to a show, and then come home and probably die"

sidney gish is another storyteller i luuuuuv. she's very cheeky and has great metaphors and images and her words really hit home.

9. Better Go by Mal Blum

"oh my god, look at all the stuff you've got. does it make your loneliness more bearable?"

Mal again, i feel like in queer lit reflections and parallels btwn lovers are super common and i feel like this is mal talking to themselves and a lover that sold out simultaneously. also the beat is so fun.

10. Miss World by Hole

"i'm miss world, watch me break and watch me burn."

i don't even have to explain this everything about me screams Hole fan lmao

11. Brand New Beast by Rosie Tucker

"if I could shed you like a skin: brand new beast"

again, a breakup song, and again, she gets it.

12. Flowers in my Garden by Yasmin Nur

"watch me scream and suffocate, you're getting pleasure from my pain, satisfaction is all you gain"

Yasmin Nur is suuuuuper undderrated. This song perfectly straddles the sweetness of pain. Everyone go listen to her she's fucking incredible. Hard recommend Voodoo Doll.

13. M.E.L.T by Club Sofa

"i've been so unclean, i dirty up your sheets, at 12 years old I dreamed of his throat between my teeth"

I wanna paste the whole song in here. It is my fucking feminine anger personified. this song is so goddamn cathartic. alsooo this band is fucking underrated pls go listen.

14. Passion by PinkPantheress

"i never wanted them to end this way. and now I have to gather all my things. they don't know the problems that I bring"

cutesy self-loathing hours. honestly tho her music is super original and fun and she's an mcr stan which means she's just like me fr.

15. Clean Jeans by Remember Sports

"you got a death wish, that’s not my problem"

Remember Sports to round it off, song to scream and jump to bc fuck!!!!

[marvul-imagines]

friendly neighborhood hellraiser pt1

Libby stared at her reflection for a moment. It was just another day of school. Just another day at the place she considered her own personal hell. Not that was all that much different from the life of any other highschooler, if she was being honest. But what was a newly turned 18 year old to do? Her dad would have her head if she ever quit school. The guy watching over her now...her second adoptive father (that was another, much longer story) would probably kick her out of his new, sweet penthouse. Which wasn't exactly ideal either. She didn't want to be homeless. Adjusting the band on her black leggings, before fixing her red, cashmere sweater. It had been a gift from her adoptive father, Steve Rogers (that's right folks, you heard it here first) two Christmases ago. Before all this nonsense with the Sokovia Accords went down. Back when they were a family. Back when he wasn't missing. Back when she wasn't living under the watchful eye of Tony Stark.

The young blonde gave one last look at the mirror when Friday spoke. "Miss Rogers, your ride to school is waiting downstairs. How long should I tell him?" Her voice was always warm, if slightly robotic. It was what she imagined a mother's tone to be like. Not that she'd ever know.

So Libby sighed, pulling her wavy, ash blonde hair into a loose ponytail. "Tell Happy I'll be there in two minutes. Heading to the elevator now." Today was just going to be another day. Another day of being Captain America's adopted kid. It was nice being Libby Rogers for a while, it really was. After the Battle of New York, everyone really seemed to like having her around. Maybe it was only because of who her dad was, but, it was better than being ostracized. Which was what she was now. After everything that happened, her father and Tony fighting, the whole word watching, watching as her family fell apart and her dad was put on the most wanted list. It wasn't easy to say the least.

She grabbed her black backpack and slipped into her boots, before making her way out of her room and towards the elevator. "How's the forecast today, Friday?" she asked, as the metal shoot dropped her down, down, down.

"Cold, Miss Rogers. Currently 42 degrees. Rain is expected later today. Would you like an umbrella?" the voice automatically chimed back without missing a beat.

"No, that's ok," Libby replied, adjusting the straps on her bag. She liked the rain, even though it turned her long hair into a giant tangled mess. "Tell Tony I'll be back later than usual, I'm going to do some studying after school. I won't be long." She had a history project coming up and wanted to do some work away from her new, hightech home. Ever since Tony had taken her in, school had been ten times easier, what with a computer that would literally answer all her questions. But that wasn't how Libby liked doing things. She liked working stuff out on her own. She wanted her report to be 100% Libby Rogers built.

"Will do. Enjoy your day at school, Miss Rogers," Friday said as Libby exited the building and walked to the curb, where Happy Hogan was waiting, black car parked and purring, back door opened for her. The tinted windows were there as usual, only the best bullet proof Stark money could buy. Or invent.

"Good morning, Miss Rogers," Happy greeted in his thickly accented voice. You could tell this guy was raised out east just buy hearing him speak.

"Happy, I told you to call me Libby. Seriously," the blonde replied with a roll of her green eyes. "Just because Tony is your boss doesn't mean I need any special treatment."

"Yea, yea, I know Libby. I'm sorry, let's just get in and get you on your way," he replied, helping her into the car with a small grin, before slamming the door tightly. It would be a quick ride to school, even with traffic.

Libby relaxed into the car seat, pulling up her phone and browsing the news. Only thing remotely interesting was how the local hero (besides either of her fathers) Spiderman had stopped yet another bank robbery. The guy hadn't been in the news for long, but he sure was making a name for himself. It must have been nice, being able to do some good in the world. That was one thing Libby always struggled with. Being around all these amazing people, yet never being able to do anything quite so powerful, quite so good. Her father had done so much good before he had gone into hiding. She missed him so much.

She shut her phone and shoved it into her bag, staring out the window instead, jaw clenched as she rode out the wave of sadness washing over her. She didn't even noticed Happy studying her in the rear-view mirror. He hated seeing her this way, the way she always got when she was thinking about her family. He knew she put up a strong front, but that didn't make it any easier on the poor kid. Regardless of what she said, he knew better. Things could not have been as easy at school as she was always saying. He'd have to drop a note to Mr. Stark later, tell him to follow up or something. Tony would figure something out, he always did.

"Alright kiddo, here we are," Happy announced, pulling up infront of Midtown School of Science and Technology. "Just give me a ring when you're ready for a ride home, or whatever you need, alright?" He said, opening the door for her, even though she always asked him not to. It made people stare, she always protested. But he did it regardless, every day. It was chivalrous. And kind of his job.

"Alright Happy, see ya," Libby replied with a small wave as she slipped her headphones over both ears, drowning out everything else as she put Imagine Dragons on Spotify.

She walked lazily into the school, slipping between crowds and bystanders, not really paying attention. No one waved to her anyways, no one stopped to say hello. No one ever did, not since half of the Avengers had become Public Enemies. Not since the FBI pulled her out of her science lab to interrogate her on the location of Steve Rogers. No one wanted to be friends with the girl whose dad turned out to be the bad guy. Which he didn't, not really. He just didn't want a set of laws determining when he could or couldn't save someone's life. Libby understood it, she got it so well. That was part of the reason she loved her father so much, he was so effortlessly good. So right. He was Captain America for a reason, even if he wasn't really following that moniker anymore. He was still the best in her eyes, anyways. Always had been since he'd rescued her from another year of foster home living. That was why she spent half of her free time now researching him, trying to find the latest sightings of Steve Rogers, man on the run. He had to be out there somewhere. She would find him, eventually.

She was so lost in thought that she didn't see the locker door open right in front of her, knocking her flat to the floor. She practically saw stars as she rubbed her forehead, knowing there would probably be a bump there later.

"Peter, what the hell?" She heard a low voice say. "How can you have these great senses and not even notice a person right in front of you?"

"Ned shh," another male voice replied. As Libby blinked, looking up, and found herself staring into a set of caramel brown eyes, and a pale hand extending down towards her. "Hey, I'm, um, really sorry. That was completely my fault. Wasn't paying attention."

"You don't say," Libby replied dryly, but she accepted his hand, letting him pull her up from the floor. He did it with almost surprising ease. Her eyes narrowed as she studied him. He had cropped brown hair, almost the same colour as his eyes, and wore a baggy shirt that almost hid how broad his shoulders were.

"You're, um, Libby, right? Libby Rogers?" He asked again, scratching the back of his head.

"Holy shit, Peter, you just knocked Captain America's daughter to the ground!" his friend elbowed the guy, presumably Peter, in the ribs. "Tony Stark is probably going to string you up from the top of his building using whatever that super strong stuff you-"

The guy covered his friend's mouth with his hand, glaring at him. "We don't talk about that here," he whispered, but Libby still heard him. After he removed his hand, he turned back to the blonde girl. "Seriously, Libby, I'm so sorry. Let me make it up to you somehow. Have lunch with us or something?"

Libby could practically feel her heart leap out of her chest. Someone wanted to have lunch with her? That hadn't happened in months. "Um sure," she replied, trying to sound as cool as possible about it, even though inside she was ridiculously excited. Embarrassingly so. Who got this excited about lunch anyways??

"Ok, cool, cool," The guy said again, adjusting the backpack that hung lazily over one of his shoulders. "I'll see you around then," he said, starting to walk off with his friend.

"Wait," she said suddenly, stopping him in his tracks. He swiveled around, piercing her with those brown eyes again. She knew them, from somewhere. Where had he seen him before? Besides school, obviously. Something about him seemed too familiar. "I never got your name," she said, cautiously.

He grinned back at her, walking backwards down the hall as he replied back, "The name's Peter. Peter Parker."

[sinceileftyoublog]

Live Picks: 5/11-5/20

Jess Williamson; Photo by Kari Rosenfeld

BY JORDAN MAINZER

I’ll be in London from tonight until the 19th, so I wanted to get you covered until the 20th!

5/11: Shabazz Palaces, Empty Bottle

When we saw Shabazz Palaces at Riot Fest last year, we noticed the headiness and understated nature of the set in comparison with other sets at the festival. Seeing them in a small venue, in contrast, is ideal.

Experimental hip hop band Leaf Set opens. Jill Hopkins of Vocalo Radio DJs before the show.

5/11: Kem, Anthony Hamilton, & Eric Benet, Wintrust Arena

The R&B Super Jam tonight at Wintrust Arena features a diverse lineup. There’s quiet storm artist Kem, who mixes spirituality and love on albums like Intimacy. There’s the best known, neo soul singer Eric Benet. And then there’s Anthony Hamilton, whose Back To Love remains one of the best R&B albums of the decade and who often finds himself collaborating with hip hop artists, unlike the other two. Whether they play together or alone or a mix of both, it’ll be sure to be a great show.

5/11: Loma & Jess Williamson, Schubas

Loma, the band consisting of Shearwater’s Jonathan Meiburg and Emily Cross and Dan Duszynski from Cross Record, has only their self-titled debut, which we enjoyed very much. In a headlining set, they should be able to play most or all of it. The extent to which they replicate live an album that’s loaded with effects and nature sounds is to be seen.

Jess Williamson follows up 2016′s great, stark Heart Song with something much more expansive. Cosmic Wink, out today, is her Mexican Summer debut. It’s inspired by her move from Texas to California, new love, and the death of her dog. “When I don’t know what home is, I can turn into your arms,” Williamson sings on album closer “Love On The Piano”. It’s a sweet sentiment, but the rest of the album, despite the romance, still has those Texas high and lonesome qualities--it was recorded there, after all. Opener “I See The White” recalls some of the more melancholy tracks on Angel Olsen’s My Woman, while the Rhodes-laden “Wild Rain” is desolate and emotive.

Williamson will also be doing an in-store performance and signing at Shuga Records at 5 P.M.

5/11: Bing & Ruth, Constellation

The last time we saw ambient classical collective Bing & Ruth, they put us in a trance playing their great No Home of the Mind. Sine then, they’ve released an EP, Dorsal, as well as a single, the gorgeous “Quebec (Climber)”, released as part of the upcoming Stadiums & Shrines 10th anniversary compilation Dreams.

TüTH, the industrial project of Disappears bassist Damon Carruesco, opens. Brent Heyl DJs before the show.

5/11: Meat Wave, Catapult Records & Toys

Here’s what we wrote about Meat Wave when they opened for Hot Snakes at Thalia Hall back in March:

“If you’ve read us for the past few years, you know we love the songs and shows ever-ascending local heroes Meat Wave, having covered three different sets of theirs. Their last full-length release was 2017′s The Incessant, but earlier this year, they released two new songs, one-minute stomper 'Shame' and creepy slow-burner 'Dogs At Night'. Subtle, but still just as pummeling; their set should contain a lot of the latter, and not much of the former. Be thankful for that.”

Local two-piece punk band Drilling For Blasting and UK grunge band Strange Planes open.

5/11 & 5/12: Lizzo, Aragon

I’ve been a fan of Minneapolis hip hop artist Lizzo since her 2013 debut Lizzobangers, which she followed up in 2015 with Big GRRRL Small World. The former established her as a dexterous, hyperactive MC with a feminist tilt. She showed off her singing chops on the latter. But her 2016 EP Coconut Oil and tracks she’s released recently see her going in many different directions. The title track to the former is soulful and infused with gospel, while new tracks like “Truth Hurts” and “Fitness” are some true Lizzo bangers.

Fleetwood Mac worshipers Haim headline.

5/12: Helen Money, Hungry Brain

Cellist Alison Chesley is classically trained, but that’s right where formality ended. She started Verbow with Jason Narducy and then, after Verbow broke up, was a session musician in Chicago. But it wasn’t until her first solo album Helen Money and her subsequent adoption of the moniker that she truly started pushing the cello to its limited. Fast forward to 2016, and Chesley released her magnum opus Become Zero. Featuring Neurosis’ Jason Roeder and Rachel’s Rachel Grimes, Become Zero is a true mash of genres, bending the lines between experimental noise and metal while Chesley used digital processing for the first time. It was to great effect, as she made an album as full of sorrow and empathy as harsh soundscapes.

She plays with Peter Maunu and Carol Genetti, who play an opening set of their own.

5/12: Moritz von Oswald, Smartbar

Moritz von Oswald was one of the most influential 90′s dub techno producers, having done great work with both Basic Channel and Maurizio. Over the past 10 years or so, he’s branched out under his own name, whether with Detroit pioneers Carl Craig and Juan Atkins, by himself, or with the Moritz von Oswald Trio, his project with Sun Electric and Vladislav Delay. (I’m particularly fond of their album Fetch.) The Hamburg master should give a fantastic DJ set.

Deep techno DJ Olin and TEXTURE Detroit resident and founder Soren and Jacob Park open.

5/12: Speedy Ortiz, Subterranean

In 2015, Speedy Ortiz followed up their great debut Major Arcana with the even better Foil Deer. Supporting that album, they improved tenfold as a live band. When they went to record what would become their third album Twerp Verse, the 2016 U.S. presidential election happened, and they scrapped the strictly personal stuff and went political. Sadie Dupuis and company have always been political from a social and feminist perspective, but not so outspoken as on Twerp Verse. Musically, the album is consistent with Dupuis’ solo project Sad13, embracing the synth and Dupuis’ ever-improving voice over the wiry guitars for which the band first became known.

Local hero Nnamdi Ogbonnaya and Ohio band Didi open.

5/12: Vijay Iyer Sextet, Constellation

Vijay Iyer is captivating by himself and in duo form. So performing his sextet material (last year’s great Far From Over) with a steady band (besides a set of rotating drummers) should be a captivating live show. The band includes horn players Graham Haynes, Steve Lehman and Mark Shim alongside bassist Stephan Crump and drummer Marcus Gilmore.

There are two shows: one at 8:30 P.M. and one at 10:00 P.M.

5/13: Bill MacKay & Ryley Walker, Cafe Brauer

They’ve already turned upside-down one wholesome holiday. Whose to say they won’t do it at Mother’s Day Brunch at the Lincoln Park Zoo? Over/under on Walker banter about yoga pants stands at 2 jokes.

Walker’s release shows for his new record Deafman Glance, out next Friday, are on 5/18 and 5/19. We previously wrote that Deafman Glance is “an arty record, subdued, embracing of free jazz and minimal synth music as much as folk.”

5/13: Obituary, Pallbearer, & Skeletonwitch, Metro

Obituary’s self-titled album, released last year, wasn’t just a return to form. It’s one of their best records, one that stands to refine the death metal tropes the band has been exploring from the get-go, from the swirling riffs of “Kneel Before Me” to the stomping “Lesson In Vengeance”. The songs should sit well beside the band’s catalog.

Last year, Pallbearer followed up their breakout album Foundations of Burden with the divisive Heartless. We liked but didn’t love Heartless. Either way, whatever you think of the band, they’re becoming better and better live. They just released a new single, “Drop Out”, and mini-documentary to go along with it, as part of Adult Swim Singles Program. It’s your typical track from the Arkansas band: lead singer Brett Campbell goes full-on Ozzy Osbourne, while the divide between the sky high electric guitars and guttural electric bass is larger than ever.

Despite turning over band members quite a bit, Ohio metal band Skeletonwitch is remarkably consistent, from 2011′s great Forever Abomination to 2013′s Serpents Unleashed. They release their sixth full-length Devouring Radiant Light in July and have released a single, the epic and black “Fen Of Shadows”. It showcases new vocalist Adam Clemans (who first appeared on their 2016 EP The Apothic Gloom) while reminding you why you’ve always loved the band: the dynamism between guitarists Nate Garnette and Scott Hedrick.

German thrash metal band Dust Bolt opens.

5/14: Damien Jurado & The Light, Lincoln Hall

Singer-songwriter Damien Jurado has been popping up here and there since the 90′s to release an occasionally jaw-dropping, brilliant record, like 2003′s Where Shall You Take Me? or the trilogy of Maraqopa, Brothers and Sisters of the Eternal Son, and Visions of Us on the Land. A week ago, he released his 13th studio album, the gentle The Horizon Just Laughed. While it might not have the psychedelic leanings of his best work (save for “Silver Timothy” sibling “Florence-Jean”), it’s sparse and gorgeous nonetheless.

Afro-folk singer-songwriter Naomi Wachira opens.

5/15: Justin Townes Earle & Lilly Hiatt, SPACE

Justin Townes Earle played City Winery back in February. Here’s what we wrote about him then:

“The Justin Townes Earle of 2018 may not be as exciting as the same singer-songwriter who released the mighty one-two punch of Midnight at the Movies and Harlem River Blues almost 10 years ago, but he’s got so many good songs across his discography that it’s almost better to see him live than take a deep dive into his discography. He quietly released his 7th album, Kids in the Street, in 2017, and it’s probably his best since Harlem River Blues, but you know the crowd’s gonna cheer the loudest for 'They Killed John Henry' and 'One More Night in Brooklyn'.”

Nashville singer-songwriter Lilly Hiatt recruited a new band for her third album Trinity Lane, and it’s her best record yet. With John Condit on guitar, Robert Hudson on bass, and Allen Jones on drums and production by Michael Trent of Shovels & Rope, Hiatt has found the perfect sound for sad stories like “The Night David Bowie Died” and honky tonk jams like “See Ya Later” alike.

5/16: Asking Alexandria, The Forge

Back in January, Asking Alexandria co-headlined the Riviera with Black Veil Brides. They co-headline The Forge with Black Veil Brides this time. Here’s what we wrote about them then:

“British metalcore band Asking Alexandria perhaps peaked with 2016’s The Black. While their new self-titled album, released last month, is an interesting departure in their sound, opting for more straightforward, melodic hard rock, it makes you miss the band’s louder moments.”

Scottsdale metalcore band Blessthefall open.

5/16: Rival Consoles, Empty Bottle

Persona, the latest album by Rival Consoles, is purportedly inspired by the Ingmar Bergman film of the same name. What’s more obvious is its obsession with perception, space, light, and darkness. His use of analogue-heavy synths, acoustic and electric instruments, and effect pedals creates a sonic world that travels faster than the speed of light between beauty and ugly. Songs titled like “Unfolding” do what their title suggests, slowly developing into a beat. The title track skitters, “Memory Arc” attacks like a monster, and “Phantom Grip” loops ominously. And then there’s Nils Frahm collaboration “Be Kind”, a truly light moment on a record, and one that exemplifies the spirit of shared label Erased Tapes.

Local experimental acid house project Africans With Mainframes opens.

5/16: Jean-Michel Blais, Constellation

Quebec composer and pianist Jean-Michel Blais has been slowly rising over the past few years. His debut album II was followed by an especially inspired collaboration with CFCF on last year’s Cascades EP, four tracks of original material and one John Cage rework. Today, he releases his second solo effort Dans ma main, which sees him combine his usual piano-led intimacy with synthesizer textures.

5/16: Power Trip & Sheer Mag, Reggie’s

Dallas thrash metal band Power Trip just released a collection of their earliest non-LP recorded material, showing the raw areas from where they came. 2013′s Manifest Decimation was their debut, but it was last year’s Nightmare Logic that brought them beyond the metal spheres to spots like a co-headlining tour with Sheer Mag.

As a live band, Sheer Mag stood out even before they released their best songs. Now that they’ve released the tracks, they’re on top of the world. Last year’s proper debut Need To Feel Your Love was an effective juxtaposition of 70′s radio rock with radical politics, accessible and loud enough to land on our top albums of the year list. 

Orange County hardcore band FURY and DC punks Red Death open. The same bill plays Empty Bottle on 5/19.

5/17: Prong, Bottom Lounge

Groove metal legends Prong are still going strong. Albums like the excellent Carved Into Stone and last year’s Zero Days show that the band is still capable of telling a musical story from start to finish while making room for meaty riffs and complex arrangements, holding up alongside their 80′s and 90′s work.

New York alt metal band Helmet co-headlines.

5/17: Josh Rouse, SPACE

Josh Rouse’s best record is 1972, which combined 70′s songwriting and production techniques with personal, political songwriter. Love in the Modern Age is the 80′s equivalent. Is it as successful? Of course not. But the similarity between the two albums makes me think Rouse will play lots of 1972 favorites.

Synth pop singer-songwriter Deanna Devore opens.

5/17: Marc Ribot, Art Institute of Chicago

Marc Ribot is one of the most creative guitarists around. I’ve seen him do a one-man score to Charlie Chaplin’s The Kid, play with his Ceramic Dog band, and jam with Los Lobos’ David Hidalgo. This time around, he’s doing an in-gallery solo performance at the Art Institute of Chicago in response to the paintings of Ivan Albright, presented in association with the exhibition Flesh: Ivan Albright at the Art Institute of Chicago.

5/17: Wye Oak, Thalia Hall

The Louder I Call, the Faster It Runs completes Wye Oak’s transition from raw, guitar-and-drums folk band to expansive synth rockers. Front woman Jenn Wasner’s pop project Dungeonesse and solo project Flock of Dimes as well as Wye Oak’s previous two albums, Shriek and Tween, are clear predecessors to the new record, the band’s best since Civilian. Natural and unbridled, it shows the least restrained version of Wasner and percussionist Andy Stack. The title track’s interweaving arpeggio synths and squawking guitars are the perfect soundtrack to a song poking fun at those trying to find order within chaos. The vocal-driven, cinematic “My Signal” and layered, washy “You Of All People” round out the album’s highlights.

Philadelphia indie rockers Palm open.

5/17: Charly Bliss, Empty Bottle

Charly Bliss frontwoman Eva Hendricks told us regarding the band’s live show, “Our live show is probably the most important aspect of making music for us, so we always want our shows to be as satisfying and fun as possible!” Their debut album Guppy (one of our favorites of 2017) was already fun and continues to satisfy well into 2018. There’s a reason this show is sold out.

Punk band Skating Polly opens.

5/18: Objekt, Smartbar

We haven’t heard much from avant techno genius Objekt since his great 2014 debut Flatland--apart from a few singles here and there. Maybe he has new material. What better place to debut it than Smartbar? Mixes of his old material works, too.

Pre-party for the Movement festival in Detroit. Stripped-down techno DJ Helena Hauff headlines. Local busy and prolific DJ Justin Aulis Long opens.

5/18: Raekwon the Chef, Promontory

Raekwon is responsible for some of the best rap albums ever, whether as a member of the Wu-Tang Clan or solo. Next Friday, he’ll be playing solo hits and Wu Tang Clan songs with the Mo Fitz Band backing him up. Though he may start with tracks from his most recent album The Wild, he should eventually delve into 36 Chambers and Cuban Linx classics, perhaps even performing for other Wu-Tang members, dead or alive.

Raekwon also is somehow playing another set this night at Bourbon on Division. DJ Ryan Ross opens that one.

5/18: Fever Ray, Metro

A Fever Ray show is not to be taken lightly, since Karen Dreijer doesn’t play very often, either as a part of The Knife or with her solo project. Plunge, last year’s follow-up to 2009′s self-titled album, was a stunning achievement. It was one of our favorite albums of last year due to its outspoken politics, frank sexuality, and chaotic beats. She revealed her live band members in a video for standout “IDK About You”.

There are two shows: one at 6:00 P.M. and one at 10:00 P.M.

5/19: TesseracT, Metro

British band TesseracT prove that djent prog metal can actually be tasteful in addition to good. Their masterpiece, 2013′s Altered State, was cohesive and actually beautiful at times, particularly thanks to vocalist Ashe O’Hara. Over the past two albums, including last month’s Sonder, the band has reunited with old vocalist Daniel Tompkins. While his vocals are more cliche whiny than O’Hara’s, the band’s instrumentation remains vital.

Australian metal guitarist Plini and rockers Astronoid open.

5/19: Pig Destroyer, 3 Floyds

Alexandria grindcore masters Pig Destroyer last left us in 2012 with their opus Book Burner. It was fast, violent, and truly dangerous-sounding. Next Saturday, they’re one of many bands playing 3 Floyds’ Dark Lord Day, which we’ve covered twice. To a drunk crowd wanting to hear favorites, expect them to...well...bounce all over the place.

Death metal band Dying Fetus headlines. The abrasive Revocation, blackened thrashers All Hell, jazz-metal outfit Brain Tentacles, and blackened doom two-piece Canyon of the Skull also play.

5/19: Elizabeth Cook, City Winery

Two years ago, we caught singer-songwriter Elizabeth Cook admirably perform songs from her latest release Exodus of Venus, an album inspired by death and tragedy. Over the past year or so, however, she’s been performing lots of new songs that should be out on a new record this fall. She should pepper them into her back catalog next Saturday.

Singer-songwriter Caleb Caudle opens.

[letstrysomefanfic]

I Thought We Already Weren’t (Peter Parker x Reader)

Request: anonymous asked: Ooh I love angst!! Can you do something where the reader has a huge crush on peter but he likes Liz and he asks her out on date and he asks the reader for help with everything so she basically plans the whole thing for him and he keeps saying things like “wow ur such a good friend” and out of jealousy she asks Flash on a date and they start to go out and Peter says he’s not good enough for her and they get into a huge argument and deicde it’s better if they stop being friends…

Word Count: 2,413 (sorry, got carried away again)

Warnings: Angst

A/N: heyyy more angst! sorry this is quite late, but I finally figured out how I wanted this imagine to go. I did try to shorten it a bit since it is quite long, but I guess this is as short as it’s gonna get 😂 hope you like it, anon! ❤️❤️

Part 2   Part 3

“(Y/N)!” your name carried through the halls above the chatter of the student body. Eyebrows furrowed, you jerked your head out from your locker to see who was beckoning. You spotted Peter’s dark curls bobbing amongst the crowd towards you.

“(Y/N),” Peter gasped. He leant against the locker next to yours, breathing heavily.

You raised your brows in amusement. “Yes?” you asked, curious as to what would motivate Peter to run.

Peter swallowed, “I need your help.”

“With what?” you turned back to your locker to shove your math textbook inside and grab your jacket.

“Ummm… well… it’s about…” he lowered his voice to a barely audible whisper and leaned closer. “It’s about Liz.”

You tilted your head away from him slightly to hide the anguish that quickly flashed on your face. “What about Liz?” you tried to keep your voice steady and calm. A difficult feat, as you felt a pit drag your stomach and your breath catch high in your throat.

“I—I uh—well—I have a date with her,” he stammered

“What?!” you exclaimed, shocked. “Wow, Peter!” You tried to shove out any tone of sadness in your voice. You knew how much courage it must’ve taken this nervous but excited and eager romantic buzzing next to you.

“Yeah,” he breathed.

“Did you just ask her?” you guessed.

“Yeah. Yeah I did,” his ecstatic state quickly turned into a more panicked one. “But I need your help. I have no idea what to do!”

“For the date?”

“Yeah!” Shutting your locker, you swung your jacket over your shoulder and headed for the school doors. Peter bounded after you. “Please, (Y/N)!” he pleaded.

You shoved the doors open, “Why aren’t you asking Liz, though? Isn’t the date with her?” You worried that that might’ve been a bit forward in revealing your subtle bitterness.

“Well, yeah but I—I wanted to surprise her. And I can’t ask Ned ‘cause I don’t wanna mess this up, I mean no offense to him, but you know—(Y/N), you’re my only other friend who can help me!” Your stomach twisted at that word. Friend.

“When is it?”

“Friday.”

You sighed, conflicted yet sympathetic. Here he was, the best friend you had slowly but undoubtedly fallen for, asking for your help with someone else. Of course you were jealous. Of course you were dejected and feeling a bit betrayed. But of course you were going to help him. Because, dammit, you were proud and happy for him, too.

After two years of daydreaming, confiding, and awkwardly trying, he had finally gotten courage and motivation to do something about it. You saw how he lit up when she merely looked his way, how he melted whenever she said something nice to him, how jittery and nervous he got whenever he was within a ten food radius of her. You weren’t about to take that away from him just because of your unrequited feelings; because before he was ever your crush, he was your best friend.

“Okay,” you replied. Hope and relief immediately washed out all desperation on Peter’s face. You couldn’t help but smile a bittersweet smile.  

“Really?!” he grinned.

“Yeah, yeah, of course!” you cheerfully affirmed. “Just, uh, come over later tonight so we can think of some ideas.”

“Thank you! Really, (Y/N), thank you so much!” Peter squeezed you in a tight hug that you half heartedly returned. He suddenly pulled away and reached for his phone. You already knew what it most likely meant, so you started past him.

“I’ll see you around seven?” you called back. Peter was already running the opposite direction.

“Uh yeah! Seven’s good!”

Groaning, you got up from your chair and stretched your arms above your head. How could simple chemistry equations somehow make your entire body ache?

You were about to plop back into your chair when a tapping came from your window. Glancing at the clock that read ten minutes past eight, you trudged over, unlocked it, and slid it up.

“Sorry I’m late; some nut job decided tonight was a good night to rob a jewelry shop.”

“Hm,” you nodded as you headed to your desk. Peter stumbled through the window, leaving it open for a quick getaway.

“Your folks home?”

“Nah,” you shrugged. “Both have meetings.”

Peter slipped his backpack off and slumped onto your bed. “So,” he rested his elbows on his knees, “Any ideas?”

You swiveled your chair around. “Not really,” you confessed. “Nothing’s really come to mind.”

Peter hung his head down, groaning, “What am I gonna do?”

“So… okay then. What do you want to do?” you inquired.

“I dunno! I was thinking maybe just dinner and a movie? Chill, not to much fancy expensive stuff…”

“No, no don’t do that. That’s typical, not surprising at all.”

“Ugh,” he muttered. “Has she ever said anything about like what her ideal date would be?”

“Don’t think so…” you racked your brain. You didn’t know Liz too well. Sure you’d shared some classes with her these past two years and had gotten to know her well enough. But you weren’t the best friend she’d confide to about relationships and dating. You also weren’t going to give up your ideal date for Peter to create for someone else.

You both sat in silence, thinking. There was a slight tension in the room that you both could sense, but it was hardly enough to make the setting awkward. You’d also never let it get to that point either.

“I know she likes picnics…” you offered. “Maybe you could get takeout from her favorite place and take her on a picnic somewhere?”

“Oh yeah…” Peter sat up. “That sounds cool!”

“And it’s not super expensive.”

“But do it kind of late-ish,” you added. “And maybe on the roof of a high building. So it’ll be darker and better for star gazing. Liz loves stars.”

“Yeah… yeah, yeah! That’s great; that’s awesome! Oh, okay okay! I got it,” Peter leapt up from your bed and raced over to embrace you once again. “Thank you, so much, (Y/N)! Thanks for being such a great friend and—and helping me and WOOH!” he whooped as he skipped to grab his bag. “I’m gonna go scope out some places…”

As he squeezed through the window you chuckled, “Okay…” That nagging feeling began to creep up on you, and you put your head in your hands. You knew the petty thoughts would begin to fill your mind soon.

You knew you shouldn’t feel jealous. You knew there was nothing you could do to change his mind. But you couldn't stop it. You were mad at yourself for believing you could ever compete with a girl like Liz Allen. You hated having these feelings of envy and betrayal, because you knew they were futile. It was pointless; this was only going to make you feel even worse.

Okay, you told yourself. Calm down, stop thinking like that. Just be happy that he finally got his chance with Liz. Repeating this over and over didn’t help. Okay… Maybe the date will go bad— NO! No, God, why even think like that?! Okay, maybe the date will be okay but Peter will figure out he doesn’t really like her? Ugh why am I LIKE this?! You felt completely horrible when you realized you actually found solace in that last thought. Deciding you needed to just distract yourself before you could torment yourself any further, you turned back to your notebook with a sigh.

Four weeks and five dates later, wherever you saw Peter, there was Liz. Your one solace, your one hope had fallen through. Peter had begun to hang with you and Ned less and less as the weeks went by. His spontaneous midnight visits had stopped altogether, and sometimes wouldn’t even answer your texts for a good few days.

Distractions were helping less and less as well. No matter how many songs you blasted in your ear, or how many fanfics you poured over each night, or late night calls with Ned about any movie you two could find; the envy kept gnawing away at you. But poor sweet Ned. You finally broke and confided to him; keeping it in was just too much. And try as he might to help you try to get over it and keep you distracted and happy, you both knew nothing was enough.

It also didn’t help that Liz would often come to Peter when he was at his locker. Right next to yours. Even though they tried to keep their voices down to small murmurs, you could hear every sickening and sappy word pouring from their mouths.

“God, I think I love you.”

You froze, gripping the textbook as if it were your composure. That phrase had managed to slip through all the ambient noise and ruckus echoing through the hallway and reach your ears. How many times had you wished to hear those words from him, only for them to be meant for someone else?

Well you certainly didn’t hear much after that. You didn’t hear Liz’s reply, or Ned’s greeting, or your locker slam. The only thing that your ears registered was your booming heartbeat. You felt your whole body heat up, searing with anger and jealousy. You wandered away from your locker, away from them. Meandering through the crowd of students, you couldn’t think of where to go or what to do.

An obnoxious voice broke through the pulsing in your ear.

“Hurry up, move it, (Y/N)!” Flash complained as he breezed past you. “What’re you waiting for? Your imaginary boyfriend to become real?” he jeered.

A sudden drive and confidence took over you, fueled by the anger and jealousy coursing through your veins. You knew what you wanted. You wanted to make Peter hurt. Hurt like you were. And you knew just how to do it.

“Well that’s up to you, Flash!” you called. Flash whipped around, confused. It morphed into amused as you jogged over to him.

“What do you mean?” he crossed his arms.

“Pick me up, my place, Friday at seven,” you challenged. Flash’s face dropped into bewilderment. “Wear something nice,” you added, brushing past. “I expect to be wowed.” As you pushed open the school doors, smirking, you could perfectly hear the shock that rippled through the silence of the hallway. This was certainly one way to get over it.

*tap tap tap*

You startled up from your chair, not sure if you had really heard it. You went over to your window and opened the blinds revealing the red and blue figure. Sliding it open, you leaned out on your elbows, blocking him from coming in but opening yourself to conversation.

“Hey,” Peter breathed.

“Hey.”

He shuffled anxiously, tugging at the mask in his hands, “Can I talk to you?”

You shrugged, “I’m listening.”

“Why—” Peter took a deep breath. “Why’d you ask out Flash?” he timidly asked.

You stiffened. “Because.” Guilt started to take the place of resentment in your gut, but you shoved it away. You could tell he was concerned about you doing something so out of character and ridiculous on all accounts. However you refused to sway from your choice. You weren’t going to to back to sitting around moping about how he was with Liz.

“Because why?” he demanded.

“Because I can and I did.”

“But when were you interested in Flash?”

“When was it your business?”

“Since you’re my friend!”

You scoffed, hurt. “Am I?”

Peter squinted at you, “Y-Yeah. Wh—Why do you have to ask?”

“‘Cause it doesn’t feel like I’ve been!” you cried. The rest of your anger was spilling out, but with a different tone this time. This wasn’t a revenge thing or a spur of the moment vent-all-your-feelings session. This was everything that was buried deep, everything that wasn’t revealed to Ned, everything that really hurt.

“You’ve constantly ditched on stuff ‘cause you’d rather go to something else with Liz! You’ve left me and Ned hanging countless times. If it was because of Spiderman stuff, then I’d be more understanding, but it isn’t. You’ve just replaced your true friends with the girl you’ve been oogling for years!” your voice rose several octaves. “You never reply when we text, and you never answer when I need you or even when Ned does! So no, Peter, it doesn’t feel like I’m your friend anymore.”

Neither of you moved, too stunned by the words floating in the thick tension between you.

“So this is a jealousy thing.”

“What?!” you screeched. “That literally has nothing to do with what I just said—”

“No! No no no, it does!” Peter retorted. “You’re jealous because I’m spending more time with her, I get it—”

“No. You don’t.”

“No, I do! Look, I’m sorry if I’m not spending every waking moment with you guys like I used to, but it doesn’t mean we’re not friends anymore.”

“NO!” you cried. “No, Peter! It’s not because we’re not hanging out as much, it’s because we’re not hanging out at all. You’re always so distant with us now and you ignore us and—”

“I don’t ignore you guys!”

“Uh, yeah you do—”

“If I did, then I wouldn’t know that you asked Flash out, and I wouldn’t be here asking why the hell you’d ever do that!”

“Again, what the hell does it matter to you?!”

“He’s a douche!” Peter flailed his arms. “He’s an arrogant, spoiled asshole who’s so insecure that he goes around teasing people. He even teases you, (Y/N)! And you asked him out?!” He howled. Peter took a step towards your window, and you withdrew a little. “He doesn’t deserve you, (Y/N), and you don’t deserve to put up with that piece of shit—”

“You know what?” you glared at Peter, seething, blood boiling for the second time that day. “Yeah, you’re right: he’s a piece of shit who only cares about himself. But I bet he’s still gonna be a better shitty friend than you’ve been this entire month.”

Peter took a step back, appalled at what he was hearing. He pursed his lips and dropped his eyes to the ground. “Maybe we just shouldn’t be friends anymore,” he whispered.

You reached up for your window and numbly slid it shut. Knowing he could still hear you, you muttered as you closed your blinds, “I thought we already weren’t.”

[dustedmagazine]

Listed:  Bill Brovold and Jamie Saft

Bill Brovold and Jamie Saft have teamed up for Serenity Knolls, an album of ambient Americana, although it might be a little more energetic than that tag would imply. The pairing makes sense (both artists, for example, have fittingly recorded for Avant and Tzadik), even if the sounds are unexpected. Guitarist and composer Brovold has some country in his background, but his most notable work has come with Rhys Chatham and as the founder of experimental rock act Larval. Along with his composing, producing, and recording, he's spent time as a painter Keyboardist/composer Saft has recording sessions in a variety of fields, from jazz to electronic to modern art music. For this release, he's left his keyboard for a dobro and lap steel guitar. For this installment of Listed, each artist has put together a collection that displays the breadth of their tastes, even extending beyond music. 

Bill Brovold

1. Weather

 All types of weather intrigue me. Growing up primarily in the Pacific Northwest, rain was a big part of the sounds I listened to and still whenever it is raining. I lived for many years in the Cascade Mountains and the silence of very deep snow is unique and wonderful as well, a deadened sound that really tunes my ears to listening to other things. 

2. The Beatles,"Rubber Soul" 

I listened to this album (or in my case, reel to reel) as a kid, over and over for years, lost in the harmonies and new sounds.  The romantic imagery and exquisite song writing still takes me to another place, one I'm familiar with, but have never been. 

3. Gavin Bryars, "The Sinking of the Titanic"

The idea is that the radio operator kept broadcasting as the ship was upended and the band kept playing, either "Autumn" or possibly "Aughton" (of which fragments are in the piece as well).  Of course on the flip side of the original Obscure LP was "Jesus' Blood Never Failed Me Yet", which ranks up there in my favorite list. The slow speed and repeated themes were a huge influence on much of my approach to making music. 

4. Fairport Convention,  "Liege and Lief"

"Converting traditional music to something electric and new, yet still maintaining the vibe of being traditional is a difficult task and something Fairport Convention did exceptionally well. The guitar playing of Richard Thompson, Sandy Denny's singing, the over-the-top fiddling of David Swarbrick and the bass playing of Ashley Hutchings (who formed another electric folk favorite, Steeleye Span, the same year "Liege and Lief" came out) make this record still a unique gem.

5. Power Tools

Those things I have been working to pay my bills with since the late 1970s. Noisy, dangerous, productive and very musical (though I was kicked out of a club in Ann Arbor MI, for using some power tools on stage). I never dilute the sounds in my shop by trying to play recorded music while I build things. The touch, smell, look and sounds in the shop are all inter connected. I now wear earplugs with the loud stuff, but I have some that still let the tones and sounds in.  

6. Brian Eno, "Another Green World"  

This album really seemed like the next logical step after the Beatles’ more experimental recordings. Beautiful songs, strange sounds and some thoughtfully-placed virtuoso playing by the likes of Percy Jones, Phil Collins and Robert Fripp. Not to mention Brian Eno's claiming to not really know how to play any instruments very well, really inspired me.

7. Fred Frith,"Gravity"  

This record pretty well sums up the ideal “experimental rock” record. The sounds are unexpected, the playing is fun and brilliant and when it is on my turntable I have to devote my full attention to it.  

8. Glenn Ohrlinn

One of the last of the real singing cowboys. He was a rodeo rider until he broke his back in the late 1940s. A rancher until his last days, he died in February  2015. He played and sang cowboy songs at many cowboy gatherings throughout the west. He released his records on Rounder. He sang about horses, hats and whores. He showed me a few old cowboy songs at one of the cowboy gatherings and said " Play it good, but not too good." 

9. Led Zeppelin

Page's guitar sound and Bonham's drumming were such an influential force. That driving hi-hat sound mixed in with unexpected drum hits always kept my head shaking. The tough sounds Page could get out of his guitar were cool enough to overlook the often mistake riddled solos.  

10. Television, “Marquee Moon” 

The band that really broke the NY punk scene in the mid-1970s. They played amazing guitar duets with the bass and drums so locked in, and the solos were out of this world. I think it is one of the most important records in rock music. I have always thought they were so much more influential than given credit for. 

Jamie Saft

1. Charles Ives, "The Alcotts" (played By Charles Ives) 

Charles Ives was arguably America's greatest composer. Here Ives himself interprets "The Alcotts," the third movement of his Piano Sonata No. 2 (Concord Sonata). The sense of space here is unparalleled. Ives flexibility of feel and control of time is insane. This piece commands a deeper way of listening to music. It is presented so clearly by the composer here at the piano. What a treat we have this document! 

2. Bob Dylan, "Restless Farewell" 

"Restless Farewell" is originally from Dylan's third album The Times They Are A-Changin'. Here it is performed live with strings and full rhythm section at Frank Sinatra's 80th Birthday Tribute. Bob displays his absolute mastery of the rhythm of the English language in tribute to the greatest interpreter of the American Songbook. "Happy Birthday Mr. Frank!" 

3. ZZ Top, "Sure Got Cold After the Rain Came" 

A masterpiece of restraint, tone, and slow burn, "Sure Got Cold After the Rain Came" is from ZZ Top's second album Rio Grande Mud. This recording displays the incredible push and pull dynamic of a true Texas rhythm section. And Billy Gibbons' guitar tone is always absolutely crucial and fully defined without the use of complex effects. A BIG favorite.  

4. Jimi Hendrix, "Drifting" 

Jimi Hendrix - Drifting from Jimi Who on Vimeo.

Drifting is where I want to be musically and mentally at all times. This is like the finest herb.  

5. Joni Mitchell, "Refuge of the Roads" 

Joni Mitchell has always been one of my greatest inspirations. Alternate tunings, endless meandering verses, Scorpio fortitude with full melancholy: dreamy!!! Oh you've got 15 verses — great, let's hear them all over again please!!! There are few pleasures in life as great as getting lost in Hejira for the millionth time. "Refuge of the Roads" tells of Joni's trip to meet Chögyam Trungpa, the father of Tibetan Buddhism in the United States. Here I present a solo live version from 1995.  

6. Albert Ayler, "Goin' Home" 

Albert Ayler!!! Albert Ayler!!! Here featured with Call Cobbs on the super soul-fulfilling piano, Ayler goes straight to the root of the music. Nothing wasted here, just essential melody throughout. That TONE!!! 

7. Alice Coltrane, "Turiya and Ramakrishna"

Alice Coltrane — my hero!!! Takes me away immediately from life's struggles —everything is going to be fine. Positive. 

8. Bob Marley. "Live at the Quiet Knight Club Chicago" 

It's impossible for me to choose just one Bob Marley song for this list. So here is one of my favorite Bob Marley live concert bootlegs. I bought this concert as a bootleg CD in the East Village in the 1980s. It's an FM broadcast and sound quality is very good. This recording, with the small club environment and an energetic audience, catches Marley at the height of his powers. Natty Dread!!! 

9. Bunny Wailer, "Blackheart Man" 

YesI! Blackheart Man is the essential contribution from Bunny Wailer to modern music. Super Roots approach with Carlton and Aston "Family Man" Barrett rhythm section (a bit of Robbie Shakespeare too) and Peter Tosh and Bob Marley backing vocals. But the star here is Bunny's songwriting. He captures the essential Roots and Culture vibes of the Rastaman. This is the Kind of Blue of Reggae music — one of the essential holy books. Blackheart Man is as relevant today as at its release in 1976.  

10. Bad Brains, "Soul Craft" 

Bad Brains: total commitment and clarity of purpose. Bad Brains are the living legends. I've feel extremely lucky to made played music with these masters- I learn so much from talking and hanging with each one of them. This is the true American Roots music!!! Rhythm section mastery combined with H.R.'s shining, brilliant energies.  PMA!!! Attitude!!! Total brilliance.  

Bonus item: 11. New Zion w. Cyro, "Sunshine Seas" 

The title track from my New Zion w. Cyro album on RareNoise Records from 2016. Featuring one of musical heroes Cyro Baptista, as well as my wife Vanessa Saft on vocals. A message to love. Enjoy!