#and personally i've found peace in knowing that there are people who are older than me. trusting that they've dealt with these things too i

[crescentfool]

with the year coming to a close, i hope that anyone who's reflecting about how the year went remembers to be kind and fair to themselves with how you evaluate the year as a whole.

i think there are definitely times when life throws things that are... Not So Great at you. whether if it's some external circumstance that surprised you, or maybe your mentality wasn't at it's best. i wish for anyone who's encountered those kinds of challenges to be able to triumph over them and be able to say that they got through it.

heck, it might still be a work in progress even though you've kept chipping away at it, and that's ok! the results will show themselves eventually as you work through it! and i hope that we can all remember to be patient with ourselves as we go through these processes (learning, healing, etc.), because damn, it can be frustrating when you feel like you're "not there yet."

knowing that life can be rough at times, i think it's unfair to yourself (and others) to discount and downplay any progress you've made this year- whether if it's something that you did for the first time, or maybe you came to a new understanding and insight that you didn't have in the previous year.

it's not to say that you should undermine the validity of your experience with hardship, but to take the time to remind yourself what makes life worth living. to recall what moments were the most satisfying to you- and use it to strengthen your resolve for the next year and beyond. no amount of hardship will ever take away from the fact that you deserve to have hope that things will get better.

i hope that looking back on the year, you don't leave out the things you cherish. that you can remember the good that came this year. whether if the small victories are things like meeting someone new, trying something out for the first time, or making some strides in a long-term project/obligation...!

i wish everyone a happy new year! may it be prosperous, and that your life can move in a direction that's close to what you want out of life. you're all going to do great! remember to congratulate yourself for what you did well! despite everything, you're still here, and that's wonderful. never forget that!

[polarisjisung]

LOVE ON THE COURT | 31 BETRAYAL.

SYNOPSIS | every college student has their struggles, but raising her younger brother has Y/N top of the list, struggling her way through college whilst balancing her academics and basketball captaincy is difficult no doubt and with Jaemin, her ex best friend and captain of the guys basketball team, and his growing one sided hatred towards her, it doesn't seem to be getting any easier

WARNINGS | swearing, abandonment issues + shitty family dynamics

NOTES | idk what to say about Liam Payne.. this is all very shocking, he was so young

today's actual note is at the end of the chapter (I have no idea why I've been putting them at the beginning)

11:49 PM sunday night

The warmth, the comfort, the ease of being surrounded by the people she loved most had been healing. Y/n knew that running away from her problems, however small, wasn't the right thing to do.

She had known it for a while, but every time she had thought to reach out and voice out her concerns, a quiet whisper in the back of her head seemed to stop her, one that begged her not to be so dependent on the support of the people around her, she knew that they could leave, and if they did, she wouldn't be able to handle herself. She wasn't strong enough to withstand the bitter feeling of abandonment again. And so time and time again she stopped herself, but this time she knew it wasn't worth worrying over the what ifs, and even if she had no guarantee that the people in her life were here to stay, she would take their word for it.

Whether it was a conversation with a friend, or responding to the messages that had been piling up over the weekend, she knew that detaching herself wasn't an option. It was that realisation that had been the whole essence of her night. How she'd made up with ningning most predominantly.

But every lesson learnt and every ounce of comprehension in her seemed to vanish only hours later. After the voices echoing through her apartment had hushed and too many lively and fun conversations had found their ends.

Y/n's friends had ultimately returned home, Jay to his own apartment next door and she had tucked Minjun into bed ready for the working week ahead, he had school early tomorrow morning. Y/n had busied herself in packing his bag and gathering her own things together, a smile on her face knowing that even if things weren't perfect, she didn't have to face them alone, though she didn't quite believe that part, it was worth a shot.

She would lean on her friends when they offered and she would reach out when she needed to. It seemed simple enough.

But when she swung open the door, hesitantly— confused as to who could possibly be visiting her as the clock was almost about to tick over the hour, her face drained of all colour and her breath caught in her throat.

It was as though her peace was taken away, and with it went all the coherent thoughts in her mind. She felt empty.

Nothing but a loop of memories in her brain, the empty house she woke up to years ago, the cries that echoed from minjun's nursery, the taunting weight of loneliness that still pressed down on her to this day. Every minute, every second of that day played in her mind like a broken record, and each recollection was vivid, details accumulating to add to the weight that fell heavy on her chest.

No reason, no words, not even an explanation on where he was going, not even a warning. It all came rushing back to her, every emotion, every feeling, the pressure, it all came back to her with ten times the pain, raw and unforgettable. Her heart ached. She felt constricted for air, like the person stood in front of her had tied a noose along her neck and each second that passed pulled the knot tighter and tighter.

Because there he was, stood towering over her, older than she remembered, weaker, but just as familar as the day he left, the man she called her father.

It was an instinct, whether protective or not y/n wasn't sure, but she found herself shutting the apartment door behind her, afraid of what the man in front of her was capable of. If he was capable of leaving his children alone in the middle of the night one day, only to never return, she assumed he was capable of much worse.

There's a lot of questions she'd like to ask, why he left, why he never came back, whether he felt guilty or not, she wanted to ask the questions she'd spent years wondering, raising herself and her brother all alone, but all that she could force out was one question.

"What are you doing here?" and even then her voice faltered despite her pointed tone

"That's no way to greet your father y/n" she can't help but sigh. Now he wanted to be a father?

"How did you find out where I lived?" she asked, a shakiness to her voice that didn't go unnoticed by her dad. But she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her break.

"You're not going to invite me in?" he said, a smile on his face that y/n recognised as all but genuine. It didn't carry the same affection, didn't radiate the same warmth, it served as nothing more than a bitter reminder of all that he had done, or rather, all that he never did.

"It's not usually smart to invite strangers into your home and especially not at this time," she sighs, her eyes boring into his. "Is there actually any reason you're here?"

"I can't come see my children?" she scoffs, his children?

"You lost that right years ago, don't contact me, don't message me and don't you dare come back here ever again" she was going to leave, knowing she didn't want to give him the privilege of knowing just how much she has struggled without him, she was and always would be fine without him, she'd learnt how to be.

"You won't ask why I left?" he asked from behind her, stopping her before she could enter her apartment again.

"I don't care why, you left without a word last time, do the same again" y/n was ready to slam the door in his face, but his next words came accompanied by a knowing smirk

"That might be your decision y/n, but what about minjun, he is my son after all, don't you think he deserves a father?"

Her face contorted with a slight confusion, nose scrunching as she felt her skin crawl

"Your son?" another scoff, "you've never acted like he was your son"

"I asked you if you think he deserves a father, you can't take that away from him just because it was something you never had"

Y/n rolls her eyes "You know I waited all my life for you to step up and be a father, minjun deserves a father more than anything, but he deserves better than you"

"no one can be better than his real father come on? you're my daughter aren't you smarter than this y/n?"

"I stopped being your daughter the day you left. And if there's anything I've learnt in all these years, it's that you're not someone to trust. I know you, you're not capable of being a father."

"And you are? your little basketball friends are? that jaemin boy who left you just like I did is capable of helping you raise my son, but for some reason, I'm not?" his words cut deep, his intentions clear yet y/n was blinded by emotion, and the unrelenting desire to not break in front of him. "If you can let him back into your life y/n, then why not me? After all, blood is thicker than water. If I can leave you, why are you so certain they won't"

NOTES | cats out of the bag... as for y/n's dad, this is not the last we will be seeing of him and he will be hearing a lot more than this, I can't WAIT for y/n to give him an earful 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

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[springseasonie]

Overtime | KDY (M)

Ceo Doyoung x Secretary fem reader

Summary: You and Doyoung stay late at the office and have a long extensive conversation about life, work, and other things. Doyoung's life motto is never mix personal life with work, but his mini crush on his secretary becomes bigger than life all on this night.

Warnings: sexual content, age gap (legal!!! doyoung is older), oral (fem receiving), unprotected, pull out method, proofread (kinda, I'm tired)

Word count: 5,7k

Song recs: thinkin bout you by Katie

A/N: took longer than I expected with this one. I've been in a writing slump for the past week so I'm sorry if this sucks. The smutty words don't come out the same as they used to lmao. Feedback is loved and appreciated 🫶🏾

You would've never taken this job if you knew your boss would be this hot.

Applying for the secretary position at a world famous company was not in your plan after college, but it just happened. You especially didn't expect to get hired. Now you've been working for 2 years and can't say that you would choose anything else, especially when you get to work so close to eye candy every day.

Kim Doyoung. He's the youngest successful single man in Seoul at 38 years old. No, he's not old, but he is way older than you in most people's standards. You never really had a thing for older men, but when you met Doyoung, you could say opposites attract. You would always try and hide your staring, sometimes he would catch you. He knows he is handsome, he's been told many times, but you're the only person who has ever worked for him that has never kissed his ass no matter how attractive you found him. He enjoyed having you around, having someone who wasn't a yes man.

Instead of going home, you were sitting at your desk finishing something you should've some ages ago. You were a huge procrastinator and he knew this. At first, it was something he hated about you. All of his other secretaries were very punctual while you did things late. However, you were way more detailed in your work, way more careful with his needs and schedule so he let it go.

"Why do I do this to myself," you groaned. You finished the last couple of words on the screen, aggressively pushing the period key with a sigh. "And all done." Now all you had to do was print the paper and leave it on Doyoung's desk for the morning. You pressed the tiny print pop up, watching the machine pump the papers out the front. Once it was done, you stapled them together.

Standing, you walk from around your desk and towards Doyoung's office. The sound of your heels filled the silent dimly lit hall, making you hum in delight. Although you hated staying to work late, you couldn't deny the atmosphere of an empty office. How peaceful it was, how strangely free you felt. Reaching Doyoung's office you noticed the door was left slightly ajar.

"Weird," you say to yourself. "He always leaves it shut." You walk in looking at your feet not expecting to hear anything.

"Oh you're here too?"

You jump, startled at the voice of your boss, looking up as you looked at his figure being lit up by his lamp. Blinking rapidly trying to regain your composure, you clear your throat shaking off your very clean dress. "M-Mr. Kim you surprised me," you say, a relaxed attitude faltering.

Doyoung watched you straighten your back, chuckling to himself as he stood up from his desk. "Relax, you don't need to be so formal. It's just you and me here."

You try to loosen up a bit, but he makes you so nervous especially when you're alone with him. You find him to be very intimidating. From how he speaks to how he dresses to even his favorite foods - Doyoung is a super classy man, way different from you. You gulp, placing the papers on his desk. "Here is the report for all the departments from this week. There were some last minute changes so…yeah."

Doyoung picks up the packet, flipping through the pages as you stand there with your hands folded in front of you. The room was silent, just the sound of him flipping rh pages was heard. You were in his office often, but never this late. Your eyes shifted around the room, taking in your surroundings. It was a cozy space, city lights in the big windows, every shelf stacked with something work related or some random object.

Doyoung had a picture of his family on one of the bookshelves, a picture of himself in his early teens with his parents and older brother. He hates that picture, always saying it reminded him of his hard life growing up. Doyoung didn't talk about his personal life much, his number one rule for all his employees and himself being don't let work and life mix. But working so closely with him has made you learn things about him he'd rather no one know, like how many times his mother has tried to set him up with some pretty rich woman or how many times his father needs meetings to berate his son.

Doyoung puts the papers down without a word. You started to turn on your heels, about to leave when he speaks up.

"Could you…stay for a bit," he says in a deep voice echoing in the quiet room. "I won't keep you long, just want a bit of company that's all."

You turn around with an awkward smile on your lips, clearing your throat. "Yeah sure, I don't mind."

Doyoung stood up from his seat, giving you a full view of his messy image. Tie loosened, shirt a bit unbuttoned - he was so attractive it pained you. He walked to the window behind him, leaning on the glass as he stared out at the huge city below the both of you. "You don't have to stand all the way over there you know."

"Oh.. right." You walked over to him, standing a distance away as you looked out the window.

"It's pretty right," he said, glancing at you. "I love this view at night."

"Me too."

And right back to silence, but instead of it being stiff, it felt comfortable. Neither of you noticed the glances the both of you kept sneaking at each other. But for a while you stopped looking at him and just leaned on the window taking in the pretty scenery. Doyoung looked at you, tracing your face with his eyes. He always thought you were pretty, knowing that he would probably ask you out if you weren't working under him. He still thinks about the first day he met you. You were a complete mess, just graduated and working 2 jobs to keep yourself afloat at the time he interviewed you. It was obvious you lived off coffee, eye bags couldn't even be hidden under your makeup. Now you're doing good for yourself. You seem happier, less stressed, and have really grown into your age.

Doyoung hates how much older he is than you. Not many girls your age would be into someone near their 40s in his mind, so for a while including now he pushed the thought to the back of his mind.

"So," he finally spoke up. "How was your day?"

"Oh, uh, well," you laughed awkwardly. "It was okay. I did what I usually do."

"Sit there and drink coffee," he joked, making both of you laugh.

"I do…other things," you said between giggles. "How was your day?"

"You already know that information," he said, letting out a deep sigh. Doyoung had a hard day, dealing with unreasonable clients and frustrating employees. You know how stressed he is all the time and you feel bad for him.

You wanted to say something but you didn't. You had no idea what to say to make him feel a bit happier. You were only his secretary after all, there's not much you can say without crossing lines, but that's what he likes about you. Sometimes you were so oblivious as to what was acceptable to say and what wasn't. You never dared to overstep boundaries, but it just happened.

"Do you ever feel like there's something in your life that's missing," he asked suddenly.

You look over to him, his face hard in concentration as he stares at the city lights. "What do you mean?"

"Like…you're doing something not because you enjoy it, but because it keeps you alive," he explains. You and Doyoung feel the air around the both of you become heavy with the sudden change in topic. Doyoung never had these kinds of conversations with you in the 2 years you've been working with him. In fact, he's never vulnerable with anyone about anything, not even the people he considered close friends.

"Well," you started slowly. "I do feel that way."

He turns to you, watching how your eyes shine in the light. "Was it when you started working for me?"

You glanced at him, giving him a small laugh. "Do you want the honest answer?"

"I want whatever answer will help me through this dilemma,* he sighs, pushing his hair back.

"I know you don't know a lot about me." You begin to relax as you start talking, leaning on the window. "I wanted to be an artist for a while. I grew up drawing, painting, the whole lot of stuff. My parents thought it was just a hobby and they were right for a while because then I fell in love with writing."

"Is that why you got a journalism degree," he interrupted.

"Yeah…that's right," you laugh softly. "Did I tell you this story before?"

"No I just…" Doyoung stopped talking seeing your playful smile, heat flying to his ears making them red. You were so pretty to him, especially in this light. "Sorry, you can continue."

"It's okay," you chuckle softly. "Anyway, I loved telling stories and wrote things in private all the time, but storybooks weren't going to pay the bills so I had to take up informative writing. Fast forward to my third year and I start realizing how much I hate what I'm doing. My love for art comes back and I start drawing more than writing essays. That's when I realized I wanted to make comics."

Doyoung stands there with his arms crossed, trying so hard to pay attention to listen to you, but he couldn't get over how pretty your lips looked, How nice your voice sounded. His eyes traveled to your neck, his next thought immediately flying to how good you smell when you’re next to him. And your hands, goodness he loves your hands. They would brush against his sometimes, the thought of how soft they would feel on his-

"Mr. Kim?"

He blinked, head being pulled out of his inner thoughts by your voice. He couldn't believe he zoned out while you spoke. Doyoung gulped, realizing the kind of image his brain almost created. "Yes? I'm sorry I zoned out. I'm just a little tired."

You gave him a small laugh and understanding smiles, nodding at his words. "I understand, I'm tired too so I'll keep it short. Sometimes we will feel periods of emptiness in the things we do no matter if we love them or not. We just have to remember everything that makes it worth it, not matter what." You stopped talking when you felt Doyoung's eyes on you, boring into your soul.

"Do you feel like working here is worth it?"

There is a kind of tenderness in Doyoung's eyes that you don't get to see often. The last time you saw this look was when he was telling a memory of him and his brother when they were kids. "Yeah, I feel like it's worth it."

"Well I'm glad," he says, looking back out into the city. "For someone so young, I didn't expect you to have a lot of profound things to say."

"I'm not that young. And you aren't that old" you say, laughing at his expression. "Not to pry of course, but why do you feel like something is missing?" He remains quiet and his relaxed expression turns stern, a frown on his face almost immediately. You panicked thinking that you pushed too far past the line. "I'm sorry, you really don't have to answer Mr. Kim, I was just-"

"It's okay, you did nothing wrong," he said, trying to reassure you. "My mother makes me feel like a shit show because I'm not looking for anyone to marry."

You opened your mouth to speak, but stopped. This problem of his was completely beyond you. It's not a surprise that he's been avoiding his mother, their family issues all over the tabloids. you wish you could be some sort of support system for him, but you know you can't get that close to him.

"You don't have to say anything. I know you have nothing to say."

"Yeah, I'm sorry," you mumbled. "I know things have been rough with you and your mom these days."

Doyoung blinked and looked over to you. His lips parted, tongue darting out slowly against his lips, wetting them before speaking."You know you're the only person to talk to me like a regular guy?"

You whip your head to him, gulping at his words. "Oh, i must've gotten too comfortable Mr. Kim-"

"I like that you talk to me like a regular person," he chuckled.

You give him a soft laugh, shaking your head. The way doyoung looks at you makes you feel something you shouldn't feel for your boss. But his eyes are piercing, full of emotion and it makes you fall deeper into him. You didn't want to ruin the mood, but you would feel bad if you didn't tell him what happened earlier that day. "Mr. Kim….your mother called the office."

Doyoung sighed, running his face in his hand. "What did she say?"

"Something about," you started hesitantly. "You blocking her number, not going to events, not dating…"

"That old lady always has something to complain about," he sighed. "Thank you for telling me."

You nodded, pressing your lips into a thin line to keep silent. But sometimes you just speak and say things you probably shouldn't, because the way doyoung looks at you for your next sentence makes you want to crawl into a dark corner.

"Well, dating shouldn't be hard for you," you said.

He raised a brow, a smirk pulling on his lips slowly. "What do you mean?"

"W-well I mean you're…" you paused, eyeing him up and down awkwardly.

"I'm…?"

"You're you," you said a bit more enthusiastically than you wanted to. "Well what I wanted to say was that you're rich, handsome…."

"Is that it? Just rich and handsome," he joked, but you didn't take it as a joke. You already overstepped the boundaries multiple times in the last 30 minutes, this could probably be the only moment to save your job.

"N-no! You're funny and honest, fun to talk to. And even though you have this rough guy thing going on, I think you're a pretty soft guy," you said, lips moving 40 miles per hour.

He gave you a chuckle, one that sounded genuine and warm which surprised you. "Ms. Y/n, are you flirting with me right now?"

You blinked rapidly, shaking your head and hands silently as you panicked, making the male laugh. You said no, but he was secretly hoping that you were. He wanted to know if you were as attracted to him as he was to you. He couldn't help himself.

"You're not too bad yourself," he said, turning back to the window.

"Thank you…. you're too nice, but you don't really mean that."

"No, I'm serious," he continued. "You're cool and fun, not too serious but can be serious when you need to be."

Your face was beginning to get hot, fingers gittering at your sides. You couldn't even look at him, afraid you would probably go crazy. You really hoped he would stop talking, but he didn't. It stressed you out.

"Not to mention, you're beautiful."

You gave him a small laugh, trying to cover up the very obvious mental breakdown you were about to have. "Mr.Kim please-"

"You're beautiful. You have the best laugh and the prettiest smile." doyoung was slowly walking towards you, making your body stiffen as he came closer. His gaze was hungry, not able to suppress his desires for you any longer. It was terrible of him, he knew it, he was your boss and practically preying on you at the moment. He was doing something he hated, but he knew you wanted it too.

Doyoung was so close to you, body looking over yours as he stared down at your flustered face. "Mr.Kim-"

"Call me Doyoung."

"But I can't-"

"Yes you can." He spoke so quietly and softly, eyes flickering from yours to your lips. "I wanna hear you say it so I can say I love the way you say my name too."

You were quickly falling under whatever spell he was starting to put you under as he spoke. Your lids dropped, breathing heavily as his hands left his sides and made their way to your waist. "D-Doyoung," you said breathlessly, heart beating faster in his grasp.

He nodded slightly, a smile curling on his lips as he pulled your body closer to his, pressing his chest against yours. "Again."

You gulp, shaking your head as you remove his hands from your waist. "I…we can't do this. I-I'm your secretary."

"Secretary who I like very much." You make it so hard for him to not want to push your buttons a little more. Was doyoung really about to risk everything he built up just to kiss you? Yes, yes he was. Not one of his smartest decisions, but he trusted you. "I liked you for a very long time, you know."

"Really," you ask, brows scrunching slightly.

"Mhm." Doyoung put his hands back on your waist, the adoration in his eyes turning to lust. "I'm doing this against my better judgment, and you know how much I cherish my judgment."

Before you knew it, your eyes fluttered shut and you were the one kissing him instead. Your lips melted into his, hands moving to his shoulder as you pulled him closer. Doyoung kisses you back softly, moving his hands under your blazer squeezing your waist. He felt how raged your breathing was, your heartbeat speeding up as he fondled your body in his hands.

You pulled away, refusing to look at him. He knew you liked him as much as he liked you - it was obvious by the smirk on his face. It was only supposed to be a kiss and end there, but your mind drifted to a place it wasn't supposed to go.

"I need to go home," you said, letting out a sigh.

"No you don't," he protested softly. "I know you don't want to either."

"Mr. Kim-"

"Doyoung," he said. "I want you to call me by name."

"Doyoung," you started, making him smile. "What are you trying to do right now? I mean, we are attracted to each other but this.. what will people think?"

"People won't know unless we tell them," he says nonchalantly. "Besides, I own the entire building you're standing in right now. Whatever I say goes, and I'll never let anyone hurt you."

You looked up at him, worry still painting your face, but you nodded anyway. "Okay, I trust you."

"Good. You should always trust me." He cupped your face softly, kissing you deeply. You kissed him back, lips molding with his just like how you imagined. You wanted to take advantage of this moment while you had it, so you took your hands off his shoulders taking your blazer off. Letting the jacket fall to the floor, you reached back to Doyoung's chest, pulling his tie off him and placing it on his desk.

"I wanna take care of you," he said quietly. "Would you let me do that?"

"Yes." Your answer came out as a whisper as you unbuttoned the rest of his shirt. Doyoung watched you with a hazy expression. your concentrated desperate appearance was doing something to him, he just wanted to fuck you against the window make you cry out his name. He thought it was too cute how your hands were trembling as you unbuttoned his shirt. The only time he sees you this nervous is when he reprimands you for something you may do wrong.

Doyoung slowly starts to pull your tucked blouse out your pencil skirt, making your breath hitch in your throat. "Is this okay with you?"

You nod, removing your hands from his shirt to allow him to pull the fabric off of you. Doyoung marveled at your body. He felt guilty knowing how many times he's fantasized about this moment, the thought of touching you on his mind heavy sometimes. But the guilt went away when he made contact with your skin. Doyoung pulled you closer to him, kissing you as his hands slowly went up your body. He groped you not too roughly to make you flustered, but just enough to enjoy your small gasp. His hand squeezed and massaged your left breast.

"Should I take it off," you mumble as he plays with the lace on your bra. You wait for an answer, but his eyes and hand are too focused on the lace, the only thing going through his head was how pretty the color looked against your skin.

"No," he said, shaking his head. You watched him unbutton and unzip the side of your skirt, cock twitching his pants from excitement. "Let me help you relieve some of your stress from today. I wanna taste you Y/N."

"Can you," you said breathlessly, begging, making him smile too. He tugged your skirt down your legs, fabric bunching around your heels.

"Get on the desk." Doyoung watches you hop on his perfectly organized desk, spreading your legs almost immediately. Your eyes widened at how fast he dropped to the floor, his actions making you even more wet than before.

“I thought about this alot Mr. Kim,” you admitted, eyes glossed from how turned on you were. "I fucking dreamed about this."

"Oh yeah?" Doyoung's entire shirt was off by this point, the expensive fabric laying, somewhere on the floor. His soft hands made their way up your legs, leaning into your inner thighs. He kisses the soft spot of your thighs, making your body shudder sensitively. Doyoung hooked his fingers around your panties, tugging at them to pull the fabric off. You lifted your hips, allowing him to pull them down your legs and off your ankles swiftly.

Doyoung couldn't take his eyes off the sight between your legs. You were glistening, so wet it got on his desk. "Fuck.. you're so pretty baby."

"Don't stare." You started to close your legs, but doyoung forced them back apart, leaning into the closer. You could feel his heavy breathing on your wet core as he kissed your inner thighs.

"Don't get all shy on me now." He placed a soft kiss on your clit, eyes never leaving your face. You let out a soft sigh when he licked your core softly, collecting your arousal on his tongue. Doyoung licks at your clit softly, adding pressure with every other movement. He always thought about what you would sound like, if you were loud or silent, but your soft moans at the moment were prettier than ever. Doyoung sucked your clit softly, making you throw your head back slightly.

"You like that?" Doyoung did it again, smirking to himself when you scrunch your brows.

"Yeah," you sigh, nodding. Doyoung continues to eat you out, your hands tangling in his hair as he licks at you feverishly. His tongue flicked your clit fast, making you tug his hair a bit. "If you do that I'll cum fast," you moaned softly.

He chuckled softly, sucking your clit harshly right after.

"D-Doyoung oh my god," you whimpered, legs starting to come together. He swiftly pushed them apart, allowing you to tug his face closer to your core. Doyoung watched you with a hazy expression as you grinded on his face, hands gripping your thighs. He flattened his tongue against you, letting you grind your core. Your arousal was all over his mouth, his nose constantly nudging your clit every time you moved. Even in the dark in his office he could still see the look of absolute pleasure on your face, taking in the desperation to cum in your eyes and the way your hand trembled on the back of his head.

"I'm so close Doie," you whined softly, making the man below your chuckle softly.

"Doie?"

You paused, looking down at him with sudden alertness. "I'm sorry, if you don't like it, I-"

"No, I love it." He attached his mouth back to your core, sucking and licking at you. "I love it so fucking much."

You threw your head back, brows scrunching as the pleasure continued to build in your stomach. Your moans built higher in pitch, noises so loud the janitors on the floor below could probably hear you. Doyoung moans on your core, the vibrations on your clit driving you mad.

"Cum babygirl, cum for me."

You let go, cumming on his tongue, his lips, his face. Doyoung didn't let up though, still licking up all your release as your legs shook, trying to clamp around his head from the over stimulation. You whined loudly, the feeling of his nose nudging against your sensitive clit making you tear up. After a couple more seconds of overstimulation, Doyoung stopped, looking up at you with the most fucked out expression you've ever seen from anyone.

"Fuck," you laughed softly, "we can add head to list of things I like about you."

"Trust me I can do a lot more than just that." He rose to his feet, immediately pulling you closer to him in a heated kiss. You moaned softly, tasting yourself on his lips and tongue.

"Yeah?" You smiled against his lips, adding tongue into the kiss as you cupped his face softly. You gasp softly as you part your lips from his, looking down at his hand that was now between your legs, fingers rubbing your clit slowly.

"God you're so cute," he chuckled softly. "Cute face, cute tits, cute moans, cute pussy." His deep voice rang through your ears, adding pleasure already soaring through your body. Doyoung kissed your neck, nipping at the skin playfully as he sped up his fingers. He pulled your breast out of the fabric of your bra, enjoying the way you hid your face in his neck at your exposed state. "I'm gonna fuck this cute pussy. How does that sound?"

"Please fuck me," you whined breathlessly, brows furrowing as his mouth attached to your nipple. "I need you so bad, Doie."

Doyoung lifted himself off your body, watching you waste no time in trying to undo his belt. Your fingers fumbled, nails getting in the way of getting it off easily. Doyoung smiled to himself as you struggled, tears pricking the corners of your eyes in frustration. "Calm down, I'm not going anywhere, pretty girl," he said soothingly. He gently removed your hands from his belt, undoing it himself.

Your mouth watered, gulping as you watched him unzip his pants. Doyoung loved watching your reactions, purposely taking his time in front of your impatient disposition. He slowly pulled himself out his pants and boxers, his tip leaking precum as it hit his navel.

You jumped off the desk, running your hands down his chest as you kissed him deeply, biting his lip softly. "Need you to fuck me real good Mr. Kim," you mumbled against his lips.

"Bend over." You did as he said, holding your body up with your arms. You looked so cute to him, checking behind yourself to see when he was going to stretch you wide. You shook your hips, whining softly to him.

"Hurry," you whined. "Need you to fill me so bad."

He chuckled darkly, not bothering to grab a condom out of his wallet before he lined himself at your entrance. He rubbed his leaking tip against your clit, making you moan softly. "fuck."

"You're so wet Y/N," he muttered, marveling at the state between your legs.

"All for you." You wiggled your hips trying to create more friction, but Doyoung took the extra step of lining himself with your core. Doyoung pushed himself into you slowly with a low groan. You were almost immediately overtaken by pleasure, eyes rolling back at the feeling of him stretching you out. He thrusted into you slowly, holding your hips with a tight grip on them.

"You feel so good, shit." He kept thrusting in you, your soft moans and whimpers permeating the air around you. You hadn't even realized that you were bouncing back onto him at the same time until he stopped, wrapping a hand around your neck as he whispered in your ear. "Keep fucking yourself on my cock princess. You're doing such a good job, making your boss happy."

"Y-yes Doie, i'll make you happy," you said in a choked moan as he squeezed your neck.

"Good girl," he murmured. He let go of your neck, looking down to watch you desperately move against him. He smacked your ass firmly as you started going faster, making you halt your movements. "Did I tell you to go faster?"

"N-no," you whined softly.

He grabbed your hair, pulling it as he started fucking you slow. Deep slow strokes made you whine loudly, cunt fluttering around him. You needed to cum, you wanted to cum so badly. You need him to fuck you hard and fast, but the painfully slow pace he had going was driving you insane.

"Faster Doyoung. Please," you cried out, but all he did was let out a deep laugh.

"Pretty little thing," he mumbled. Doyoung began thrusting in you hard and fast, making your jaw drop in pleasure as you arched your back to feel him more. "You like having a older man's cock in you?"

"Yes yes, I love it Doie," you whimpered weakly. Suddenly he pulled out of you m, leaving you with the feeling of emptiness, but not for long. He turned you around, manhandling you as he lifted you by your hips, placing you on the desk. Doyoung forced you legs open, pushing himself back into you without warning.

"Fuck," he groaned through gritted teeth. Doyoung watched you, scanning your body as you laid on the desk. He lifted your legs, pushing them to your chest as he fucked you at the same pace as before. He loved the faces and noises you made, couldnt take his eyes off you. The both of you never thought you would have this much chemistry, but everything feels perfect. Doyoung is fucking you like he's been doing it for years already, your body melting into his perfectly.

You reached down, rubbing your clit to reach your high. "Keep touching yourself, just like that baby," he groaned. The grip he has on your legs got tighter as he kept going, feeling himself closer and closer to cumming.

"I'm gonna cum Doyoung," you panted, rubbing you clit harder.

Doyoung's brows furrowed at the sensation of you squeezing around him, moaning softly. "Cum baby, cum for me. Cum all over my cock." His words were jumbled, slurred from all the pleasure he was taking. Doyoung moaned loudly, the feeling of you squeezing and cumming on his cock shooting through his body. Your body tensed beneath his, legs shaking as you whimpered his name over and over while cumming hard. Your lips were suddenly captured with his as he leaned down kissing your messily.

"I'm gonna cum Y/N, shit," he said on your mouth. Doyoung kept thrusting in you, making your eyes roll back form the sensitivity.

"Oh my god," you cried. Doyoung's movements became more erratic as he came closer and closer. Soon enough, doyoung was pulling out of you, cumming on your stomach, some ropes of white shooting to your chest.

Nothing but the sounds of deep breathes filled the air, the smell of sex all over the room. Your eyes were closed, so you didn't see Doyoung looking at you as if he saw an angel. He let go of your legs, wrapping an arm around the small of your back as he weakly lifted you into a seated position.

"That was…"

"Something," he finished with a small laugh. You looked at him, giving him a small smile as you sat trying to catch your breath.

"It's pretty late now I bet," he said, brushing his damp bangs back. Doyoung looked at you, then at your very naked state, covered in his cum. "Fuck, I'm sorry."

You didn't say anything, just looked at him with a tired smile. "Thank you for not cumming inside me at least."

"Why? You don't want my kid," he joked, grabbing tissues off his shelf. Doyoung handed you some tissues, letting you clean your self off as he fixed himself up.

"I'm 24. I'm not ready for kids," you laughed. You paused, looking at him through your lashes as he fastened his belt. "But I am ready for a relationship."

He smiled picking up his shirt from the floor. "Yeah?"

"Mhm," you answered.

"Well…that can be arranged," he said, fingers fumbling with his buttons. You moved his hands, looking at him as you buttoned his shirt, smirk tugging at your lips. "But are you serious about this? You're young, and I don't want you to feel obligated because you work for me."

"I don't feel obligated at all," you said calmly, carefully getting off the desk, your heels clicking with the floor. "I always liked you, and it obvious you liked me too."

He leaned against the floor to ceiling window crossing his arms as he watched you dress. Your small glances were making his heart race, something that hasn't happened since he was a teenager. He walked up to you, grabbing your hips as he kissed you deep, biting your lip softly.

"How do you usually get homw," he asked as he pulled away.

"An Uber."

"I'm I'm taking you home tonight okay," he said, making you nod. "Is that okay with you?"

"Anything you do is okay with me." Doyoung kissed your forehead, smiling to himself.

He never thought of himself as much as a lover, but maybe you'll pull it out of him. And he would love to see you try. All the years of trying to keep personal life and work separate gone to waste, but was it worth it? Hopefully, yes.

[andreal831]

I’m the same person who asked the question about Datherine and I wanted to ask similar one about Stelena: Do you think they could’ve worked out if l Damon weren’t in like, in the picture?

Hi! Welcome back <3

When I used to watch TVDU, I loved Stelena. As I've gotten older, I see how problematic the whole thing is. But they still kind of get me because of nostalgia.

I really do think they would have worked if not for Damon. Elena's attraction to Damon always felt forced to me. She was so caught up in the whirlwind romance of Stefan and then they settled into this very calm, happy place. Even with all of the chaos around them, they found peace in each other. Elena and Stefan were so happy in their relationship, the show had to force them apart physically to wedge Damon in there. They even had to use the sirebond to force Damon in the way more.

The only thing I felt was truly unhealthy in their relationship was the age gap. Even him originally wanting to get to know her to see if she was Katherine didn't totally bother me because of how he felt about Katherine. Damon seeing her and thinking she was Katherine made him think he was seeing his first love. Stefan hated Katherine when he saw Elena. He didn't pursue it out of some lost love. He fell for Elena as her own person.

Now granted, Elena was in high school and those relationships usually don't last, but this is a show about vampires and magical babies, so I think we can suspend reality on that.

I love Steroline, but feel like Caroline didn't necessarily want the same things as Stefan. They just kind of forced motherhood on her. She wanted a career and to travel. She would have loved to go off with Tyler and discover the world. Just like Damon didn't have similar wants to Elena. Wanting the same things in life is very important in a relationship. Compromising will only cause both of them to be unhappy no matter how much they love each other.

An important aspect I really liked about Stelena and felt would make them last is how much respect they had for each other. Stefan would always let Elena make her own choices, even if he didn't agree. And Elena was always there to fight for him. I know some people don't like how he handled the transition, but that's usually from people who just wanted Delena to happen. Elena never wanted to harm anyone and never wanted to be a vampire. Stefan understood that and tried to help her live with what she was. They both just wanted the best for each other.

Stefan helped Elena find joy in life again. Season 1 Stelena was so happy. They would have found this happiness again if Damon and Klaus stopped interfering. The visions they saw from the Travelers felt really organic to me. They both wanted the same things. They wanted family and humanity. Stefan taking the cure made more sense than Damon. Damon loved being a vampire and Stefan hated it, plus had trouble controlling it. I could very easily see them settling in Mystic Falls. Her being a doctor and Stefan going to school to discover what he wanted from his life. They would have had kids and would have created a loving home.

Thanks for the ask!

[themedievalpoet]

If Mordred and Freya grew up in the same Druid camp.

There was a moment of weakness. The two were in the tavern. Merlin was telling Mordred about the Druid girl he had once saved and protected. . . Well, he tried to, anyway. Her life slipped through his fingers and he blamed himself. It wasn't usual for Merlin to chug back the alcohol like this and certainly not to be so vulnerable around people, especially not around Mordred. But Mordred was the only one who could know, being a Druid and a magic user, and on nights like these, the feelings he had pressed down came spilling out of his heart.

While Merlin sobbed incoherently over this girl, Mordred tried to put the pieces together. Merlin told him that this was a Druid girl, who was captured, because she was dangerous. But she wasn't dangerous at all, she was kind and loving and compassionate, and lonely. Though Mordred had a hard time deciphering the words between Merlin's hiccups, he did know one person that could match this description.

"Was her name Freya, by any chance?"

The look on Merlin's face at the mention of her name. . . His eyes widened, his jaw dropped, and he teared up. "How do you know that?"

Mordred smiled, but only in sadness. "She lived in the same camp as I. Her parents were kind people and took care of all the children. Freya was as kind as her parents and took care of all those who were younger than her. She sang melodies that I can no longer remember the sound of, only that she sang them with passion and love. I've always seen her as an older sister. The day her parents passed away, we were all grieving. Us children the most."

Merlin looked at him. "Why did you cast her away?" he asked. "It wasn't her fault."

The young knight frowned. "I was just a child," he said. "The other children and I wanted her to stay, no matter what form she took. But the adults thought it was best for her to leave and never return. He said we were all in danger if she was around."

There was a brief pause. "I asked Freya what happened. A man attacked her while she was gathering herbs in the woods, so she defended herself. His mother found her and cursed her. It was horrible to hear. None of this was her fault."

He shifted in his seat. "Freya's magic is strong, but her heart is delicate. She wouldn't want to use her powers when every night she is forced to. . ." Mordred shook his head and stopped there. "I was afraid I might never see or hear from her again. But thanks to you, I know that she passed in peace."

"In peace?" Merlin wiped away his tears.

"In peace," Mordred repeated. "You've shown her compassion. You've shown her what love is. I'm happy she could feel loved in her last moments."

"You know Freya, you say?" Merlin asked, slurring his words. "How can I believe you? What if you're just making things up?" He was bitter, but how could he not, after all that had happened to him? "What was her favourite fruit? Do you know that?!"

Mordred scratched the back of his head. "I'm not lying to you about this," he said, "but I don't remember her favourite fruit. . . She always picked strawberries for us when we were little. But she also gave me apples, because I particularly liked those. I don't know. Maybe she just liked red fruit."

It was then and there that Merlin passed out, dropping his cup in the process. The tavernsmaid scolded Mordred for it, so Mordred quickly got off his seat and tried to carry Merlin out of the tavern, back to his room. He wasn't as heavy as Gwaine, thankfully, so carrying him was a lot less terrible. When he arrived, Gaius was sitting at the table.

"What is this?" he asked, surprised that Merlin would let himself be carried by Mordred out of all people. Gaius walked to them and helped Mordred put Merlin back in his room.

"I think he should rest," Mordred said. "Not only does the prophecy weigh heavy on his shoulders. . . He carries a heavy heart with him, too."

He gave Gaius a smile and walked towards the door. Right before he walked out, he stopped and turned to Gaius.

"I wish nothing for love to flourish the world," he said. "I wish for Emrys to feel the same kind of peace I feel when I am around him. I hope that one day, he can feel safe, and he can rest."

[wof-reworked]

ok I can't stop thinking about the jade winglet, here's my gender hcs for all of them

Moonwatcher - she/they (nonbinary)

I feel like this is fun bc rn (in canon) her gender is just "anxiety" but like,,, one day in the future she gets to actually play around with it

like she captures a very specific type of person I've met who you go "oh I mean I know she's gay but she's probably cis..." and then you have like one real convo and find out they're like not only nonbinary but better at it then you

I think she should get to be butch when she's older. I think she deserves being a) massive compared to her two twink boyfriends and b) gnc as shit

Kinkajou- any/all (genderfluid +transfem)

Kinkajou strikes me as being like. totally ambivalent to gender. Kinkajou changes her pronouns based on how the fruit he ate for breakfast makes him feel. Kinkajou is better than you

I think she was like staunchly using she/her for a while bc it just felt right and like changes pronouns situationally- Rainwing village is she/her, Jade Academy is any/all, close friends it varies, etc etc

Qibli- he/they (transmasc)

Qibli's just always kind of known who he is, and has been like. pretty contentedly in his corner for a while. I think it's like- a pillar of stability for him of like "at least I know I'm (x)"

Proximity to Moonwatcher puts the they/them in there bc I think it's nice when ppl get more comfortable so they start branching out a lil bit :> Qibli has like. guy who says "he/they" because he doesn't mind they/them and wants his friends to feel supported y'know

Winter- he/him (cis + gnc)

Look I feel bad making him one of like. two cis ppl at JMA but like I think it's funny if he's cis but inflicts a status effect of gender envy on every trans person in his proximity

guy who does makeup flawlessly because "it's fun" and decimates your sense of identity as you wonder why the fuck god gave these gifts to a man

extra funny for the fact that as a dragonet he gets offended by the implication he's pretty. he gets over it eventually I think

Turtle- she/her or he/she/they (transwoman/trans)

See here. Otherwise I think she's like trans and this could go in like. any fucking direction ngl

transmasc turtle??? hell yeah !!! transfem turtle??? hell yeah !!! gender is whatever Turtle has going on and god knows if she knows it

last egg to crack bc Turtle is immune to self reflection that isn't anxiety and self loathing

"Haha everyone hates how other people refer to them and their gender what do you mean? :)" (entire jade winglet: cringing with worry)

Umber- he/him (cis)

cis and a lil insecure about it but like. he's just nice :)

he's like experimented with pronouns and gender and found none of them really stuck so like. cis+. cis (extended dlc). you know what I mean I hope

gonna be honest I'm lost for him bc I genuinely forget he was there bc he peaced out so fast. justice for my boy I want to know more !!!!!

I could be persuaded for transman Umber ngl,,, it tempts me,,,,,,

Peril- she/her (trans woman)

On one hand I'm torn bc I think it almost doesn't make sense for her backstory BUT ON THE OTHER HAND the idea of Scarlet being supportive of Peril's identity and LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE is hysterical to me

though actually if we wanna get sad,,,, that 100% could be a manipulation tactic of Scarlet. "see I love you I even accept you" etc etc. now I just feel bad man

Peril's also in the same camp of Qibli of knowing this abt herself since she could think and being happy in it. She knows what she's about

BONUS:

Carnelian- she/they/he (transmasc)

Look butch can be a gender and sometimes you're a mean butch skywing idk what to tell you

wish she stayed alive bc her and Moon could've been legendary together. girl who will kill for you vs girl who desperately wants you to do anything else please we talked about this you can't solve your problems with murder

I think Carnelian's true gender is Skywing Patriot and idk how to put that in hc form but this is as best I've got

[avatarrecom]

Sorry that I hit you, I actually love you

Pairing: Poly!recoms x Avatar!reader

Word count: 6.5k

A/N: This is the longest I've ever written lol. This story is sort of a little gift to @whxre-bxby, because I absolutely love their writing and it inspired me to write this story. I also totally did not want to write an enemies to lovers because I wanted to use the tag #foes to bro's to hoes.

There's one reason you came to Pandora. Only one simple reason. To make the people responsible for your brother's death pay. All you have is his name, the name of the man who killed your brother by ordering his helicopter to be shot down. Miles Quaritch. You will break him and everyone he cares about. You don't know how, but you will. get. revenge.

Your brother, Timmy, may he rest in peace, was fourteen years older than you and raised you from the moment you took your first breath. Your parents were even more useless than water was useless to a dead plant. Day in and day out, they were more concerned with getting high than with the two children they forgot they had. When you were four, your brother managed to become your guardian. You moved into the shitty little apartment that was the only one he could afford. Your brother insisted that you get the only bedroom. “Little girls need their own room, Butterfly,” he said before turning the old sagging couch into something that would resemble a bed.

The next few years consisted of school for you, a nine to five job for your brother and evening classes on top of that. After six years, your brother had completed his mechanical engineering degree. Shortly afterwards he told you that he had been offered a military engineer and helicopter pilot position by the RDA. But, for this he would have to go to Pandora. He told you that if he did this he would go to Pandora, his salary would be sent to you and the RDA would get you a caregiver.

And so, when you were only ten years old, he pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose, and left for Pandora. He left you in the care of a wonderful old woman, Helen, who helped you follow your dream of becoming an Avatar Driver. But after less than half a year, you received news that your brother was dead. According to the RDA report, your brother betrayed his own race by helping his fellow pilot, Trudy, free prisoners and fight the RDA. You were devastated. Your only family was gone. The RDA tried to send you to an orphanage. But Helen refused to let you go. Finally, the RDA gave up and let you stay with her. You still followed your dream of becoming an Avatar driver.

Now, sixteen years after your brother's death, you have finally arrived on Pandora.

And oh man, was it a shock when you arrived and found out you were joining the squad of the man who killed your brother. You didn't expect it to be this easy. You were supposed to meet him and his squad in your Avatar body. By now you were used to being ten feet tall, having a tail and having better hearing, sight and smell.

After changing into cargo shorts and a sports bra, you make your way to the 'Recombinant' quarters. You will find your new squad in the gym, training. You immediately spot the person you are here for. Miles Quaritch. He lies on his back on a bench and pushes the heavy weights above him. A bald man stands by his head, hands ready to take over the weights if it gets too heavy. Your gaze shifts to the other blue bodies and everyone is focused on their exercises. You see a woman with corn braids and a headband curling a dumbbell while she talks to a woman with a mohawk who is doing push-ups. To your right, you see a man wearing a bandana sparring with a man covered in tattoos. In the corner of the room, three men are doing pull-ups on the bars hanging between the walls. And finally a man wearing sunglasses 'who the hell wears sunglasses indoors' is running on a treadmill.

No one notices you because of the loud music coming from the speakers, so you knock loudly on the door behind you. Several eyes shoot your way. You feel uncomfortable with all the attention on you. "And who might you be," purrs Quaritch with a nasty grin. “Y/N,” you answer, trying not to lose your temper. Nothing could have prepared you to come face to face with your brother's killer.

Quaritch's eyes widen in realization. "You're the new addition to the squad." You nod stiffly and clasp your hands behind your back. The bald man lets out a loud laugh. "Relax, beautiful, we don't bite." The woman with the dumbbell hits him on the head and says something about men and testosterone to the other woman, who laughs in response.

Quaritch walks towards you, his posture commanding respect and obedience. "Colonel Miles Quaritch," he holds out his hand, "Pleasure to have you." You force a bitter smile and shake his hand. “I wish I could say the same.” You see everyone looking at you in shock. You give them an icy look.

Quaritch's stupid grin only widens as he takes you in. "I see, you're one of those." “One of those what,” you snap. "It doesn't matter, we'll break that behavior out of you." He steps aside and you roll your eyes so he doesn't see it. “So Y/N, meet the squad,” He gestures to the others. "The bald one is my second, Corporal Lyle Wainfleet." Lyle and the two women look at you with an almost disgusted look. "The two ladies are Walker and Z-dog."

Quaritch gestured to the men sparring before your entrance, “That's Prager and Lopez.” Bandana looks at you suspiciously and the tattooed one looks at you with a feral grin that makes him look like one of those hyenas from the Lion King. “Brown, Ja and Fike are at the bars and that's Mansk,” Quaritch finishes. "Come on guys, meet our new victim."

Quaritch gestured to the men sparring before your entrance, “That's Prager and Lopez.” One looks suspiciously and the other looks at you with a feral grin that makes him look like one of those hyenas from the Lion King. “Brown, Ja and Fike are at the bars and that's Mansk,” Quaritch finishes. "Come on guys, meet our new victim." With that he walks out of the gym. You stare hatefully at his retreating back. When he's out of sight and you turn your attention back to the rest of your squad, you see them staring at you with equal hatred.

“So,” Lyle begins, “what the hell is your problem.” “That ain't your damn business,” you reply. Lyle grins at his friends. “Women shouldn't curse,” says the tattooed man with a shit-eating grin. You roll your eyes, “Get fucked.” He blinks in surprise, but doesn't answer. You turn your back to the group and walk out of the gym.

The next few weeks were absolute hell for you. You were trained as a medic in addition to your Avatar training. You had absolutely no experience in hand to hand combat and weapons. It didn't help that your squad took pleasure in seeing you suffer. Quaritch forced you to do five hundred push-ups every morning, to run for at least an hour, and many other exercises that completely exhausted you. In the afternoon the squad would take you around and kick your ass in hand-to-hand combat. After a few days you were already covered in bruises. You already had a bruised ankle and you had muscle pain in muscles you didn't even know existed.

And of course the favorite passage of time outside of training was to make your life miserable. You lost count of how many times they 'accidentally' slammed you into the wall, how many times they 'accidentally' stepped on your tail and 'accidentally' stepped on your ankles, especially your bruised ankle. They threw the most uncreative insults at you. You simply ignored them and continued to perfect your revenge plan.

About three months after you met and three months of absolute hell, you walked to the cafeteria in your 'human body'. You were so deep in thought that you didn't realize you were bumping into someone. To be specific, a ten foot tall and blue, someone. “Oh shit, sorry,” you heard someone say as a blue hand held your arm so you could regain your balance. You look up and see that Brown was holding your arm. He tilts his head and looks at you confused. "Have we met yet? You look familiar, beautiful." Your other tormentors watch you with interest, you shiver as they sweep their gazes over your body, and you don't shiver in a good way, the way that makes you feel the heat in your core. "Wait, I know you, you're the girl of my dreams!"

You jerk your arm from his grip and scoff, “that's funny, because this feels like my nightmare.” Immediately the eyes of the blue creatures in front of you darken. “Wait, Y/N?!” Walker says in surprise. You roll your eyes and nod. Everyone's eyes widen in shock. Just as you're about to walk away, you hear Lyle, "Y/N, wait." Normally you would have just kept walking, but something in his voice catches your attention. You sigh and turn back to the Recoms, who are studying you in shock. “What,” you snap.

"Timmy was your brother," Z-dog says breathlessly. You detect a slight tremor in her voice, but pay it no mind as the rage takes over your body. “Don't say his name,” you snarl between clenched teeth. “Don't you dare ever say his name,” everything you're feeling right now is the most intense you've ever felt. Your anger is mixed with grief and sadness. You don't even realize that tears are streaming down your face. "He is dead!" you shout, unable to keep your pent-up emotions in check. "And it's all your fault!" "What's going on here," you hear an angry voice command.

In your anger you turn to the colonel, who stops slightly in his steps, thrown off by the angry tears on your face. You vaguely hear someone in the background saying that Timmy was your brother. "DON'T SAY HIS NAME!" you roar. “HE IS DEAD, HE WAS MY ONLY FAMILY, THE ONLY ONE WHO CARED ABOUT ME AND HE IS DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!” You break more and more with every word.

Before anyone can say anything else, you storm off. Luckily no one comes after you. After rushing into your room, you collapse against the wall, exhausted. You shouldn't have gone to the cafeteria in your human body. You should have stayed in your Avatar body, then they would never have realized who you really were. Shit, if you take revenge now, they'll immediately suspect you after your public emotional explosion in the hallway. You drop your head into your hands and sigh. Then you fall asleep on the floor, completely exhausted from the recent events.

When you wake up, you are determined to continue with your plan. It doesn't matter if they actually knew your brother personally, he was your brother and he's dead because of them.

You manage to avoid your squad for a few days. You skip the daily training and don't answer when one of them comes knocking on your door. That surprises you, you expected them to be happy to be rid of you temporarily. But then again, they probably have Quaritch's orders to convince you to act like nothing's wrong. They would probably be in trouble if the bigwigs found out that they were the ones who kept damaging your Avatar body.

After about a week you appeared back in the gym in your Avatar body. The Recoms look at you without the usual hatred in their eyes. “Y/N, how nice that you're joining us, not so nice that you're a week late,” Quaritch speaks and he too looks at you without the usual hatred. You roll your eyes, “Come on, who wants to go first,” you challenge, eager to let your energy out, preferably on something that could hurt the Recoms.

Brown steps forward. You wrap your hands and walk to the mat, Brown on your heels. When Quaritch gives the signal that you can start, you jump into action. You deliver several quick punches to Brown’s vulnerable spots. Normally he would have already blocked them and thrown you onto your back, pressing his weight on your throat with his knee. Normally he wouldn't remove his knee, even if, according to the rules, you tapped the mat three times because you couldn't breathe. Normally he would only remove his knee from your throat when you almost faint from the lack of oxygen.

But this time it's different. He lets you hit him, does the minimum to block you. This only makes you angry. "Come on, fight back!" you shout. He doesn't show that he heard you, he just keeps avoiding you and doesn't do anything to fight back. "Come on! Do something!" you shout again.

Your emotions completely overwhelm you, you don't understand anything anymore. At first they looked at you with hatred and did their best to make your life a living hell, which isn't that strange since you were a bitch. Then they find out who your brother was and suddenly they look at you with sadness and pity and they are reserved, as if they didn't want to torment you anymore. As if the fact that Timmy was your brother suddenly changed everything.

With every punch you get angrier and angrier. Suddenly you see red and you snap. You get so angry that you grab Brown by the base of his queue, pull him down and slam your knee into his face. You feel his nose break and you faintly hear Quaritch yelling in the background for you to stop. It's like you're underwater, everything is muffled and you can't stop. You hit harder and harder. Brown leans on his knees and tries to block you as much as possible while also trying to stop his bleeding nose.

You feel someone wrap their arms around your waist and pull you away from Brown. You continue to fight and struggle to get out of the grip on your waist. Ja is seen kneeling in front of Brown and taking off his t-shirt to gently press it against his nose, hoping to slow the bleeding. The person with his arms around your waist roughly throws you to the ground, you land wrongly on your newly healed ankle and fall to the ground. You hold your ankle with your jaw clenched.

“What the fuck do you think you're doing?!” Quaritch sneers. Before you can answer he continues, his voice louder with each word. "Stop your pathetic crying and get out of my sight!" You rub your cheeks and find that they are damp, you didn't even realize you were crying. You carefully stand up, careful not to put too much weight on your probably bruised ankle again. You look at the others and see that they are looking at you with anger and sadness. Just before you walk out the door you hear Quaritch coldly say, "If you know what's good for you, you won't come back until I say so." With one last look at the bleeding Brown, you walk out the door.

You stumble back to the Avatar's quarters and you sink onto your Avatar's bed and close your eyes. When you open your eyes again, you are lying in the link bed. The moment the bed opens, you quickly get up and forget about your bruised ankle. For the second time today your ankle collapses. The scientists look at you, but do nothing to help you. You manage to pull yourself up and limp out of the lab. Every scientist you walk past looks at you with disgust.

The nerds refuse to help you. After yet another injury, they gave up and left you to your fate. "Good," you think bitterly, "I don't need those know-it-alls, I can take care of myself." But deep down you know that's not true, right now you need your brother more than you ever needed him after he passed away.

You manage to avoid the busy hallways, limping to your room. The moment the door closes behind you you start screaming. You blindly grab the first object you feel, your favorite mug, and throw it across the room against the wall. Then you throw the next object, the book you were reading. You almost destroy your entire room and you keep screaming until your throat is so raw that no sound comes out. You don't even realize how much time has passed.

You grab another object and want to throw it against the wall when you see what it is. A photo frame with a photo of you and your brother. God, you seemed so happy then, together in your own little world. You hug the picture frame close to your chest and sink along the wall to the floor, crying. All the grief you have built up in you over the past few years is finally coming out.

It's already dark outside when your door opens. You start telling whoever it is to fuck off, but no sound comes out of your throat. You're so tired and in so much pain that you don't have the energy to do anything about the unwanted person who comes into your room. All you can do is stare blankly into space as the tears continue to flow.

You faintly hear footsteps in your room and out of the corner of your eye you see a large blue figure crouching on the floor next to you. You feel yourself being pulled into someone's blue arms, but you don't have the energy to protest, you barely have the energy to move your eyes. The blue arms gently lay you down on your bed. Through your blurred eyes you vaguely recognize Yes. Past him you'll see Walker and Mansk trying to salvage some of your destroyed room. Then Lopez walks in, pausing in shock when he sees the state of your room. His eyes land on Ja and your exhausted form. He approaches the two of you carefully and hands Ja a white box with a red cross.

You vaguely realize that Ja is putting ice on your ankle, that he is using an alcohol wipe to clean the wounds that you didn't even realize you had. He grabs a pair of tweezers and starts removing the pieces of glass from your wounds. You feel so numb that you don't even feel the pain. The mattress moves and you see Prager sit on the edge of your bed.

He waits until Ja has cleaned and bandaged your hands before handing you a steaming mug. "It's chamomile tea with honey. It's soothing and will help with your sore throat." When you don't respond and just stare blankly at him, he puts the mug on the nightstand next to your bed.

You don't react yet until you see Ja with a syringe in his hands. You start to struggle and try to scream, but only a rasp comes from your throat. "Hey, hey, calm down." Ja holds his hands up. You curl up on your bed in the corner of your room, wide-eyed, shaking and ignoring the blood through the bandages. “Hey, read the name of the drug,” Ja says calmly and holds the bottle out to you. You relax slightly when you see that it is a sedative.

Yes, he brings the syringe with the drug to your arm and if you don't protest, he pushes the needle into your arm and allows the drug to flow into your system. Your eyes become heavy and you fall into a dreamless sleep.

When you wake up again it is still dark outside. You roll your head to the side and see part of your squad, or it's probably your old squad by now, sitting in various places on the floor in your room. A painful, rough growl erupts from your throat as you feel blades shooting through your skull with the movement of your head. Immediately seven heads shoot towards your weak form.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" you hear Ja ask softly. You try to answer, but your throat is so dry that no words come out. Prager offers you the still steaming cup of tea, you sit up a little and take it gratefully. The first sip immediately soothes your sore throat. You look at Ja and say a soft "Okay." Ja sighs in relief and runs a tired hand through his hair.

"What time is it?" you ask softly. Prager looks at his watch, "zero three hundred." ‘Did I sleep that short?’ you think to yourself 'I feel like I've been hibernating.' Prager sees your questioning look and informs you that your training session and outburst was the day before yesterday and that you slept for over twenty-four hours. In the meantime, Ja has taken care of all your injuries, both your bruised ankle, which was completely swollen and blue because you didn't treat it right away and put too much strain on it during your outburst, and all the wounds from broken glass. Apparently you sat with your thigh in a pile of glass, which is how you got a large wound on your leg.

Z-dog, Walker, Mansk, Fike and Lopez cleaned up your room as much as possible and they even had to scrub blood from the floor, walls and furniture. They threw away all the broken items and even replaced some broken items. On the small counter you see your favorite mug, the one that was the first thing you broke. Lopez says that he and Fike did their best to glue it together as best they could, but it's not how it once was.

Apparently Prager didn't help clean up and just sat by your bed. He only got up to make you a new cup of chamomile tea with honey every time the tea started to get lukewarm, so that when you woke up you could immediately drink the warm tea if you wanted. According to Walker, he made dozens of cups of tea.

There is an awkward silence. “We have something to tell you,” Prager begins. The others move closer until they sit in a semicircle around your bed. You look at them questioningly and suspiciously. “We knew your brother,” Fike mutters under his breath. Lopez jabs him hard in the side and tells him to shut up. You try to sit upright as much as possible. "What?" you rasp.

Walker reaches out to you, as if to reassure you, but her hand stops in mid-air. Finally, she places her hand next to you on the bed, palm up, as if offering for you to take her hand if you want, if you need it. "It's true, we knew him," she says softly, "we knew him one day..." she trails off a bit and looks at the others uncertainly. “We knew him on a very, very personal level,” Ja continued.

You look at everyone in confusion. The Recoms see your confused look, but don't know how to respond. "We loved him," Ja said uncertainly. Your eyes start to water again, but you wipe them away roughly, you've cried enough. “What do you mean, you guys loved him,” you demand. Yes sigh, "we met him when he arrived on Pandora, he joined our squad as an engineer and Marine." You feel a pressure in your chest and you realize that you have replaced your brother in the squad.

"It didn't take long for us all to fall in love with him," Prager explains further and the others nod in agreement, "Miles, Lyle and Brown too." "He chose to go with Jake Sully to warn the Na'vi." Your emotions rise higher and higher, not only yours, also those of the Recoms. "We didn't know he was in the helicopter with Trudy, we really didn't know, otherwise Miles would never have given the order to shoot down the helicopter." You risk a look at the blue aliens and see the grief and sadness in their eyes and realize that they really loved him.

"Can you please leave me alone for a moment?" you whisper softly. The Recoms look at each other uncertainly, but decide to leave you alone. Mansk and Walker will stand outside your door so that in case you have another emotional breakdown, they will hear and they can help you.

As soon as you are alone, you start to cry softly again. And instead of having an emotional breakdown, you curl up in a ball on the corner of your bed and cry quietly so no one can hear. You are still so exhausted by all the emotions that you soon fall asleep again.

When you wake up again, you see that it is now daytime again. You stand up, careful not to step on your bruised ankle, and you hop to the sink. In the mirror you see that your eyes are red and swollen from crying. You also have a large cut on from the bottom of your jaw to the side of your nose, right under your eye. You look like complete shit.

You struggle out of your clothes and stop when you see all the wounds on your naked body. You didn't realize it was that serious. You carefully put on clean clothes. As you carefully hop out the door, you see Mansk and Walker still standing outside the door. They ignore all the confused looks from those passing by and focus their attention on you. They look at you with concern and mild concern.

"The colonel asked if we would take you to the Recom quarters when you were awake," Mansk informs, his voice, as always, devoid of emotion. You nod doubtfully and expect him to tell you that he is sending you back to earth. Mansk and Walker walk quickly in front of you, not realizing that you can't keep up with their bruised ankle and their long legs. Walker quickly realizes that you are a long way behind them and lightly hits Mansk on the arm, signaling that you cannot walk fast. The female Recom walks back to you to offer her support if you need it, while Mansk waits patiently for you to catch up.

The two slowly guide you to their living quarters. When you finally stagger into their living room, you see the rest of the squad sitting tensely in various places around the room. Your gaze shifts to Brown, who is lying on the couch with his swollen nose in bandages. You immediately feel guilty, you shouldn't have taken out your anger and all your other pent-up emotions on him.

You hear someone clear their throat and look up at Quaritch, who is staring at you intensely. You had never been in such a tense situation in your human body around the Recoms before, they only make you feel smaller. Quaritch sighs tiredly and gestures for you to sit on the couch, after a struggle and help from Walker you finally sit on the couch.

Quaritch sits across from you, resting his elbows on his knees. "What they told you is true," he begins, "we really loved your brother and we miss him every day. If I…" he trails off. "If I had known he was in that helicopter, I would never have given the order," he looks genuinely remorseful. “Here,” Lyle says, holding out a piece of photo to you. The photo shows the Recoms, in their deceased human bodies, and in the center, with Lyle's lips on his left cheek, Brown's on his right, and Lopez with his hyena grin hanging over his head, is your brother. He has the widest and happiest smile you have ever seen on his face. You don't know why, but suddenly you're sure he loved them, you believe the Recoms. Your brother was always an excellent judge of character and if he loved them too, as you see in the photo, you believe he was happy with them.

You give the photo back to Lyle and he offers you another photo. Another photo of your brother, this time he is sitting in the pilot seat of a helicopter with a toothy, silly grin. You smile sadly at the photo and hand it back to Lyle. He shakes his head, "keep the photo, we have several copies."

“We should never have treated you this way,” Quaritch says firmly. "We didn't know Timmy was your brother and I know it's not an excuse, but I'm sure we would have been different if we had known." You laugh softly and see the confused, slightly offended look in their eyes. "I was a bitch to you and besides, I came here planning to kill you all as revenge for what you did to my brother." You take in the shocked looks, slightly enjoying it. "I don't think I'll do it again, Timmy wouldn't want to."

“You know,” Lyle begins, “Your brother told us all about you, he loved you so much and he was so proud of you.” You smile sadly. "I know." "He also said he always called you butterfly, why was that?" Walker asks. "Our parents always called me an ugly duckling, so my brother started calling me butterfly, because a caterpillar blossoms into a beautiful butterfly." It was always your most favorite nickname anyone had ever given you. “And as a kid I was always hyper and he said I was always fluttering around like a butterfly.”

You suddenly frown and turn your attention to Brown. "I'm sorry, I should never have lost my temper to the extent that I hurt you." Brown looks at you in surprise. "Seriously?" he asks angrily and you recoil. "We have tormented you for weeks, months and you apologize to me?!" he asks incredulously. "And besides, I deserved it, I think we all deserve a broken nose, probably worse."

"Absolutely not, I don't want to deal with nine broken noses plus my own, we will pay for our actions in another way." Protested Yes. Brown pouts, "but if my nose heals wrong, at least I'm not the only one with an ugly, crooked nose." You smile and feel yourself relax slightly.

The following hours and then even weeks consist of exchanging stories about Timmy. Sometimes you laugh, like your story about his baking attempt for your eighth birthday that resulted in a cake literally exploding. And sometimes you cry, like their story about how he curled up next to them at movie night, just like you always did with him.

In addition, every Recoms continues to apologize every day. Ja personally sees to it that you heal completely, while he also has to listen to Brown's whining about his nose.

You slowly warm up to the Recoms, seeing and appreciating their efforts to earn your forgiveness. But after a few weeks you also start to feel things that you don't know how to feel. Every time Ja gently holds your chin in his hand to tend to the cut on your face, you feel his touch long after he lets you go. Every time Walker deliberately walks next to you to offer you support when you need it, you can't stop blushing.

It feels wrong, falling for your dead brother's lovers. It feels wrong, but also so good. You have decided to ignore your feelings, you have convinced yourself that they will go away on their own. But you didn't know that the Recoms feel the same way. Not because you are part of your brother, but because you are simply a wonderful person.

About five months after your breakdown, you and the squad are on a mission in the Hallelujah Mountains when you are suddenly attacked by several Thanators. You scatter in different directions, hoping to get rid of the Thanators with minimal casualties. You run with Prager and Z-dog through the thick jungle, fleeing from the two Thanators who are chasing you. The three of you don't have much luck when you stumble upon atop a waterfall on the edge of a high cliff.

You look around in panic, looking for a way out as the Thanators get closer and closer. "We have to jump!" Z-dog shouts. "WHAT?!" you shout back. "JUMP!" she shouts again as she grabs your hand and pulls you off the cliff. You scream all the way down to the lake at the bottom of the waterfall. Fortunately, the Thanators do not follow.

When you finally manage to get to the beach at the edge of the lake, you see Prager lying on his back in the sand, chest heaving. “Prager, are you okay?” you ask worriedly, slipping into the role of medic. Prager gives a tired thumbs up, "Let's never do that again." You hear sputtering behind you and see Z-dog walking onto the beach, her mohawk hanging wet in her face with a pissed off expression.

The two of you plop down on the sand next to Prager and let your clothes dry in the sun. After a while you hear sounds in the jungle, sounds that are getting closer. Prager and Z-dog are immediately in a crouching position. Prager pushes you behind him as he and Z-dog point their guns in the direction the sounds are coming from. "You don't think the Thanators found us, do you?" you ask nervously.

Then the rest of the squad bursts onto the mini beach. Quaritch sighs in relief when he sees the three of you. “Thank god, I thought something had happened to you guys when you didn't come back,” he studies you carefully, “why are you guys so wet?” Z-dog explains what happened and the rest look at you in shock. Quaritch walks over to you and gently takes your chin in his hands. "Are you OK?" he asks worriedly. You nod reassuringly. Quaritch sighs in relief and rests his forehead against yours.

“Thank god, I was worried about you my love,” you look up abruptly when you hear the nickname. Quaritch himself seems shocked at what he called you. You see the rest of the Recoms with the same look, until Fike breaks the silence, "why are we surprised, we all already knew we fell for her?" Lopez sighs in annoyance, "Yes, but she didn't know that."

"You guys fell for me?" you ask in shock. Quaritch rubs his neck uncomfortably. “Yes, we know it's weird because of your brother, but we can't help it.” "And the biology of the Na'vi is different, we can't control ourselves if we find someone attractive." Ja explains.

The following hours and then even weeks consist of exchanging stories about Timmy. Sometimes you laugh, like your story about his baking attempt for your eighth birthday that resulted in a cake literally exploding. And sometimes you cry, like their story about how he curled up next to them at movie night, just like you always did with him.

In addition, every Recoms continues to apologize every day. Ja personally sees to it that you heal completely, while he also has to listen to Brown's whining about his nose.

You slowly warm up to the Recoms, seeing and appreciating their efforts to earn your forgiveness. But after a few weeks you also start to feel things that you don't know how to feel. Every time Ja gently holds your chin in his hand to tend to the cut on your face, you feel his touch long after he lets you go. Every time Walker deliberately walks next to you to offer you support when you need it, you can't stop blushing.

It feels wrong, falling for your dead brother's lovers. It feels wrong, but also so good. You have decided to ignore your feelings, you have convinced yourself that they will go away on their own. But you didn't know that the Recoms feel the same way. Not because you are part of your brother, but because you are simply a wonderful person.

About five months after your collapse, you and the squad are on a mission in the Hallelujah Mountains when you are suddenly attacked by several Thanators. You scatter in different directions, hoping to get rid of the Thanators with minimal casualties. You run with Prager and Z-dog through the thick jungle, fleeing from the two Thanators who are chasing you. The three of you don't have much luck when you stumble upon atop a waterfall on the edge of a high cliff.

You look around in panic, looking for a way out as the Thanators get closer and closer. "We have to jump!" Z-dog shouts. "WHAT?!" you shout back. "TO JUMP!" she shouts again as she grabs your hand and pulls you off the cliff. You scream all the way down to the lake at the bottom of the waterfall. Fortunately, the Thanators do not follow.

When you finally manage to get to the beach at the edge of the lake, you see Prager lying on his back in the sand, chest heaving. “Prager, are you okay?” you ask worriedly, slipping into the role of medic. Prager gives a thumbs up, "Let's never do that again." You hear sputtering behind you and see Z-dog walking onto the beach, her mohawk hanging wet in her face with a pissed off expression.

The two of you plop down on the sand next to Prager and let your clothes dry in the sun. After a while you hear sounds in the jungle, sounds that are getting closer. Prager and Z-dog are immediately in a crouching position. Prager pushes you behind him as he and Z-dog point their guns in the direction the sounds are coming from. "You don't think the Thanators found us, do you?" you ask nervously.

Then the rest of the squad bursts onto the mini beach. Quaritch sighs in relief when he sees the three of you. “Thank god, I thought something had happened to you guys when you didn't come back,” he studies you carefully, “why are you guys so wet?” Z-dog explains what happened and the rest look at you in shock. Quaritch walks over to you and gently takes your chin in his hands. "Are you OK?" he asks worriedly. You nod reassuringly. Quaritch sighs in relief and rests his forehead against yours.

“Thank god, I was worried about you my love,” you look up abruptly when you hear the nickname. Quaritch himself seems shocked at what he called you. You see the rest of the Recoms with the same look, until Fike breaks the silence, "why are we surprised, we all already knew we fell for her?" Lopez sighs in annoyance, "Yes, but she didn't know that."

"You guys fell for me?" you ask in shock. Quaritch rubs his neck uncomfortably. “Yes, we know it's weird because of your brother, but we can't help it.” "And the biology of the Na'vi is different, we can't control ourselves if we find someone attractive." Ja explains.

Their eyes slide over your body with interest as they see how your body reacts to their confession. And this time, when you feel yourself shivering, you also feel the heat pooling in your core.

[emeritus-fuckers]

“Alstroemeria” ♡ Cardinal Primo x gn!reader platonic drabble (fluff)

Dedicated to @thecuriouss. I suck at fluff. I'm sorry.

There was something peaceful about the Ministry's garden. Maybe it was the colorful flowers. Maybe it was the fact that not many people spend much time there, each Sibling of Sin dealing with their own work and responsibilities.

Maybe it was the fact that it was a good place to hide from all your worries. You could hide behind a tree, observe the colorful flowers and just wait until you felt like you could function again.

Or... you could be caught by a certain long haired blonde Cardinal in his early thirties. The oldest son of Papa Nihil Emeritus, Primo, seemed to share your fondness for the garden, though he never exactly said why. He just seemed to always gravitate here in his limited free time, usually with his two younger brothers, who would run around playfully or enjoy calm walks with him and ask him all about the flowers. Surprisingly, he seemed to always know the answer.

It took some time, since he wasn't too fond of people in general, but you became rather close friends with him. And since Primo Emeritus didn't have many friends, he seemed to really cherish the ones he did have.

And somehow, he seemed to know when one of said friends needed him. Which meant that, of course, he found you, sitting under a tree and watching the colorful flowers.

"That's alstroemeria." Primo announced instead of greeting you like anyone else would. He seemed to like making you jump in surprise, as there was always a sparkle of amusement in his eyes whenever he saw you acting like him randomly popping up was giving you a heart attack.

"Alstro... what?"

"Alstroemeria. The Lily of the Incas. Represents compassion, patience, appreciation, humor, understanding and loyalty." he explained, his gaze focused on the flowers. Primo rarely looked at you directly. He seemed to associate it with all the nonsense he had to deal with as future Papa.

You were both silent for a while, you still sitting on the ground, your back against the tree and him... well, he stood like he was taught to. Perfectly. His back completely straight, his hands behind his back as he looked in front of him. He almost looked like a statue.

Then again, considering his upbringing, being born only to ensure the bloodline wouldn't be broken... and yet, he was a good person. A complicated, yet good person. After all, he took raising his brothers onto himself, just so they could have a childhood.

"It's a... flower of friendship." He added after a while, hunching slightly. A sign that he was relaxed. And a habit that will probably cause him back issues when he gets older.

"Friendship?"

He hummed, clicking his tongue before slowly sitting down on the ground as well, despite how he'd usually scold you for doing that. You were tempted to point it out and maybe if you were in a better mood, you'd actually do it. But not right now. Right now you just wanted to enjoy his presence.

You rested your head against his shoulder, closing your eyes. He didn't really do anything about it, but you knew by now that he was comfortable with you, since he didn't even flinch. If he was uncomfortable, he'd simply get up and leave.

"Yes. I have personally requested to have them planted here." He admitted, his voice much quieter than usual, but not quite a whisper. It was a rare moment of peace in his life.

"Why?" You asked quietly, closing your eyes for a bit as you gently reached to hold his hand. He let you do that, intertwining your fingers together and humming softly.

"Because I've noticed how... fond... you are of this spot. It's always the same tree, facing the same direction. I figured... you'd enjoy those flowers here." He admitted, looking away, using his free hand to play with his hair. One of the small ways he allowed himself relax around people he trusted. There was something almost cute in it.

"You... had the Siblings plant those flowers here for me?"

"Don't think too much about it." He blurted out quickly, looking away with a slight blush. You giggled at his reaction. For someone so good with people, Primo was terrible when it came to dealing with those he actually held close. Unless, of course, it was about his brothers.

You smiled softly, relaxing against him. It was now that you noticed just how much all those negative emotions you felt earlier have worn you out. And his presence was soothing. Comforting. So soothing and comforting, in fact, that you ended up napping against him.

And Primo, despite all the work he still had to do, let you do that. Because he knew he wasn't good at showing affection. So instead, he would go along with what you did. And if you decided to use his shoulder as your pillow, then Primo Emeritus would not be moved until your nap was over.

And while you slept, he could look at the alstroemerias. The flowers he grew so fond of recently, because they reminded him of you. One of his closest friends.

This really was a good place to plant the flowers of friendship.

~

Written by Jez.

Taglist: @charlie-is-a-menace @copias-fluffy-asscheeks @lunarsromantichomicide @randodummy @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @calliedion-dungeon @randominstake @nuntia @dio-niisio @mamacarlyle @firefirevampire @mybotanicaldemise @emo-mess @natoncesaid @sirlsplayland @ouijaboardemo @lightbluuestars @igodownjustlikeholymary

[imagine-silk]

I've been playing TOW nonstop ough

Could you please write romantic yandere headcanons for Vicar Max or Phineas Welles (for both if you feel like it???) with a GN or male Captain? (Specifically loyal to Phineas) Those two make me feel insane 🥺 me when old men: 😳😳😳

Thank you <3

》Me also when old men: ⸝⸝⸝o⸝⸝⸝o⸝⸝⸝ Been playing Veilguard and I'm so in love with Emmerich.

【Vicar Max】

When he joins the crew for selfish goals he was all to happy to use Hawthorne to get it done. He wasn't lying when he told him having another adult on the team would be for the best, he just didn't know that would impact him as well. Sure there was Nyoka but she was just as immature as the others. He found himself seeking the company of the only person on the Unreliable he doesn't want to strangle (the exception being Parvati but she's a baby to him). This is ultimately his decent into madness considering he's trapped in space for long periods of time surrounded with people he deems incompetent. Then there's the one who is an adult like him, meaning not stupid.

He never needs to baby Hawthorne or check himself, he can swear and bitch around him. Hawthorne takes everything he does in strides and once he finds out Max's real intentions he almost never cares. "You gotta do what you gotta do. Even if I don't agree with it." That nonchalant attitude was rather attractive to him.

Of course the Architect would never have allowed him to act on this sinful lust and pleasure, the insatiable need to have him. If Hawthorne never asked then it's not in the Great Plan for it to happen. However things change after his enlightenment. He's abandoned the Plan in exchange for autonomy and peace. Now he's more comfortable pursuing what he wants

It starts off light. Hawthorne heading out? Max does too for one reason or another. Does Hawthorne need company? No? Then Max needs his. When Felix mentions something about the captain being hot like a protagonist Max reminds him Hawthorne is older than him, meaning Felix was too young for him. And it stays there. He never leaves the crew and is almost always at his side like a loyal second in command. He wouldn't care if the others died but Hawthorne is attached to them so if it's insisted he supposes.

He will would go to the other side of the galaxy to stay with him.

【Phineas Welles】

This is a man who is alone and likes to be alone, very different from being lonely. He would never seek out people if it didn't effect him and it took the universal government to get him to do just that. And he keeps his distance as much as he can, just gives Hawthorne directions and leaves him to do it. But Hawthorne didn't like that and started going to his hideout. He didn't appreciate it but it got him to keep running around to get rid of the board so sacrifices were due. He didn't expect to actually enjoy the company. He still doesn't like others but he makes an exception for Hawthorne.

Turns out Hawthorne was a fellow scientist or at least working under one and had college education. Phineas was self taught so they knew about the same information. Hawthorne was able to teach him even more, practical things you don't learn in a textbook, and Phineas was able to recap what was missed in the decades he was frozen. He respected the exchange of information without judgment.

It would be so easy to just lock Hawthorne in with him but the board needed to be dealt with and neither of them were safe until they were taken out of the equation. But he did prepare for after that happened. He's very flexible with his morals so he's not very concerned about it.

He doesn't say anything about his plans and he doesn't ask Hawthorne if he'd like to stay with him. He just continues to indulge him when he visits and asked the crew to not come inside so they don't 'accidentally poison themselves after touching the wrong thing'. Then the long awaited day comes when the colony starts to get back on track about how humanity moves on and the people of the Hope are free. After that Hawthorne is basking in the celebration glow and is immediately place in the glass room. Phineas doesn't even ask, just explains he's just not going to let him leave in any way, shape or form.

He assures Hawthorne everything is accounted for and that his job was done. Now all they had to do was enjoy the time they had together.

[galaxywrites]

Personally I love my chaotic found family troupe. Can you describe each of them?

Hopefully I do this right and understood the ask anon 👍 My little ramble thoughts have also been put here for the kast.

Liu Kang ❪ 🔥 ❫ the new emperor of the dead. It was Liu Kang's idea for them to stay, and be the kind of people that the citizens of the Netherrealm would aspire to follow. He is still bitter over Raiden and the mistakes that led to all of them being killed, but it is more simmering now that Quan Chi's magic isn't amplifying it.

Kitana ❪ 💙 ❫ the empress of the dead and one of two new rulers of the Netherrealm. She spent a lot of time considering what kind of leader she wanted to be, and heavily relies on counsel to make any major decisions. However, she is protective of each and every person that is among her subjects. She's gotten into so many fights over defending her friends' honor, it's not even funny.

Jade ❪ 💚 ❫ Kitana’s right hand in decision making. She can usually be found sparring with Tomàš, though those two are usually found together. She and Tomàš have formed a bond almost akin to siblings, with her acting as an older sister to him most days. ... She makes a lot of staff/bo puns.

Nightwolf ❪ 🐺 ❫ the peace keeper of the group. The unofficial dad of this group of trauma bonded adults, some with more trauma then they have time to unpack. He has personally gotten them all a therapist because, dear god, do all of them need one. Some more than others. Wise advice is common to hear from him, and he's probably the third oldest of the group, other than Kitana and Jade, I imagine he would have been in his early to mid forties by the time he died.

Kabal ❪ 🪽 ❫ think of him as like, the news person in the Netherrealm. Kabal goes from city to city, town to town in the Netherrealm to spread the latest news due to his super speed. Due to the revenants still being technically dead, I don't think he needs his mask, but more so he wears it so he doesn't scare anyone.

Stryker ❪ 👮 ❫ Kurt usually goes to the nearest village and helps out the Netherrealmer children. He also helps out with farmers, and has taken an interest in how plant life grows in the Netherrealm. He always has something to talk Kabal's ear off when the man returns to the castle. [He's enjoying the domestic life.]

Tomàš ❪ 🩶 ❫ while he doesn't have an official role in terms of he isn't either of the rulers right hands, Tomàš can usually be found around Jade, Nightwolf, or Kitana, or on very rare occasions, making neck jokes with Kung Lao. But occasionally, he'll disappear into the depths of the Netherrealm to find and speak to the old members of the Lin Kuei. (He has even roped/bribed Bi-Han into doing odd jobs for the castle.) In the early days of the group trying to help the Netherrealm, Tomàš is very reserved as he actually doesn't know any of them that well, and the first person he opened up to was Jade. Also I just feel like he's a bit feral, so there's also that... ++ He has caught the attention of many Netherrealm inhabitants who recognize that he is an enenra. He's basically been dubbed as everyone's little brother at this point.

++ Enenra is also present here. But they are more so a background force apart of Tomàš' character. But I've written them as more of a protective force that only kicks in when Tomàš' life is in danger. Given the fact that Enenra was born/created from when Tomàš died as a child, I feel that they really only want what is best for Tomàš, and only takes over his body when they feel Tomàš needs their protection. If killing is necessary to protect the boy (he isn't a boy anymore), then so be it.

Kung Lao ❪ 👒 ❫ Liu Kang's right hand. Very rarely does he leave Liu Kang's side, but when he does, you can usually find him around the castle. Honestly? The only person that has since made it to Earthrealm to troll Raiden, and reassure Kung Jin that he and everyone else is doing fine. (He went back and ripped his family a new one for kicking Jin out, though.) Kung Lao.. has a terrible habit of making neck jokes and causing Smoke to laugh his ass off at them, because they were both killed in the same manner. It's funny for them, but Nightwolf is concerned.

There is also a little shipping in this au 🤏 but not much.

[good-to-drive]

thoughts on the Harrison-Boyd-Clapton live triangle???

Oh god I have SO many thoughts lol. I was actually just talking to my best friend about this, but to put it simply I see the whole situation as an example of two people who truly love each other not belonging together because the particular ways in which they're broken go together too well.

But, to put it less simply:

I tend to think about it from Pattie's perspective, and I've always thought of her as having pretty severe eldest daughter syndrome, i.e. she was taught to value her worth by what she could provide to others. Her parents weren't super involved and she took on a lot more responsibility than most kids her age, especially when it came to her younger siblings. This quote in particular stood out to me when I was obsessing over Pattie a few months ago:

(Not sure where that's originally from btw, I've had the screenshot forever but based on formatting I think it might be brainy quote).

It's often a red flag when people say they felt older than their years, and doubly so when they were in some way parentified. We often reenact the role we played in our childhood family system in our adult relationships, and in Pattie I think this lead her to be extremely giving and self sacrificing. To the point where I'm not sure she was even aware that she HAD emotional needs, much less knew how to assert them.

To that end, although I obviously like George quite a bit, there's no denying that -- especially as a young man -- he was an incredibly needy person. (I actually think all the beatles were sort of black holes of emotional need tbh, at least in their youth. Partly because of childhood trauma but also because they were living a life that's larger and more extreme than any human being was meant to live.)

Pattie's tendency to sacrifice excessively dovetailed perfectly with George's tendency to need excessively, and as a result he totally eclipsed her entire self, until she felt utterly lost. That's neither of their fault, btw. Neither of them was emotionally mature or self aware enough to realize what was happening.

(Not to mention George was cheating like a dog and Pattie was taking it on the chin even though she knew deep down she deserved better. But former parentified children often put up with a lot of shit as adults because they believe it's their responsibility to do so.)

Then Eric comes along and literally tells her it's her fault he's addicted to heroin and if she doesn't leave George he'll die and it'll be all her fault. Aside from the fact that this is literally emotional abuse, it's also an even darker and more powerful black hole of neediness than George. And as someone whose sense of self has been eclipsed and who only knows she matters when she's of service to others, it was basically impossible not to fall into that black hole.

For his part, I think Eric was far more concerned with taking something from George than being with Pattie. I don't know enough about him to know why he'd feel the need to do that and I also really dislike him so I doubt I'll ever find out. Pattie said he got bored of her pretty much as soon as he "had" her, and tbh that doesn't surprise me.

It was honestly such a tragic thing for Pattie to be driven/dragged away from George -- personally I believe they always loved each other (she referred to him as her soulmate in her autobiography, and George made sure she knew as long as he was alive she'd have a financial parachute) -- but I also genuinely think they had to lose each other in order to find themselves.

Pattie couldn't stay in a relationship where she was fulfilling the same self sacrificing role she played as a child, and although it was a long and painful road she seems to have really found herself and found peace. She's never explicitly said this, but often people without a strong sense of self need to be on their own in order to learn how to value themselves, and she did spend a long time unmarried after Eric.

And, although George was gutted by the breakup, he was no more capable of expressing love in a healthy way than Pattie was. If they had stayed together I doubt he'd have grown into the wise and self possessed person that he ultimately became, because he simply wouldn't have had to. (Plus he never would have found Liv and I love her just as much as I love Pattie.)

In the end their relationship is fascinating and tragic to me because the things that drew them to one another so deeply were also what ultimately doomed them, and yet in the shadow of that loss they became the people they were meant to be and found their happy endings.

Thanks for the ask, and sorry for the novel 😁

[coriolanussnowswife]

𝐀𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 | 𝐙𝐮𝐤𝐨 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟸 ~ 𝚃𝚘𝚠𝚗

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝙽𝚘𝚗𝚎

𝙰/𝙽: 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛’𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚙𝚊𝚍.

Word count: 1295

𝙿𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 | 𝙽𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛

Narrator's P.O.V:

The drive to town is peaceful, it always is. With the music playing on the radio and Aurora shutting up for once in her life it's basically heaven on earth.

But then you get into the town.

Don't get me wrong you love living so close to the capitol of the Fire Nation, the dense variety of people, the fresh food, the festivals, and just the culture in general, but it can get a bit chaotic at times. It's a very bustling place. People always seem to have somewhere they need to be immediately.

Today seems like a chiller day, the weather is perfect and people seem to be calmer than usual. There are only a couple of people that you can see from your line of vision, an older couple, a mom and two children, and an old man walking with a cane.

You park on the side of the street and pull your keys out of the car. You gather up all your stuff and place it in a tote bag you brought. You step out of the car and close the door behind you, walking over to Aurora.

"Where do you want to go first?" She asks while slinging a bag over her shoulder.

"We should go to the boutique," You respond. We can't exactly afford it but it's fun to see.

"Ok!" she responds eagerly and starts skipping towards the boutique, she's always loved the town and is practically begging you to take her every day, and we do end up going most days.

You pick up your pace to catch up to Aurora who is about a block ahead of you now and we come to a stop. You look up to see the familiar swoopy letters spelling out boutique in fancy cursive on the sign above the shop. Aurora walks into the shop and the bell dings above us as the door swings open. "Welcome in you two!" the shopkeeper says as Aurora briskly walks from dress to dress examining every single one with care, "Good morning Miriam," You wave at the older woman who runs the shop. She has gray thinning hair and a bony frame but somehow is still glowing in her old age.

"Any new shipments?" You ask while leaning against the front desk. Miriam has gotten used to our visits at this point and doesn't seem to mind when we don't buy anything.

"I got some new dresses for some of the girls to wear during the prince's choosing of his spouse." She shakes her head, "About half the girls in the city are going to be dressed up for him, the other half couldn't care less!" she lets out a small laugh at this. "I wouldn't either, I already told Aurora but being forced into a marriage isn't exactly as glamorous as the books make it out to be," You look back at Aurora who is now trying on different hats in the mirror. A smile spreads onto your face before you turn back to Miriam, "There's just so many factors that could go wrong. Not liking them, them being abusive, cheating. It's too much to even think about,"

"You're always looking on the darker side of things when it comes to a relationship Y/n, you're always such a bubbly person but when it comes to relationships you only think of the worst-case scenario, why?" She leans against the other side of the counter giving you a look that says even if you don't tell me I'm going to find out, she always does.

"Honestly I'm not completely sure, I've heard so many horror stories about guys who have done crazy things in relationships. One time a girl told me her ex snuck into her house and lived under her room in her basement for a whole month before they found him!" a hint of worry flashes across your face even thinking about that.

"You do know that those things don't happen as often as you think right? People tend to focus on the bad  things and lose the good along the way." She looks into your eyes before walking around the counter and placing her hands on your shoulders, "I'm sure that whoever you end up with will be great." She says with a reassuring look on her face.

You nod your head slightly and look up at her, "Thank you, Miriam." You say a small smile on your lips.

She lets go of your shoulders and turns to Aurora and walks over there to start talking to her. You tune out their conversation and go over to some of the dresses on the rack. You're flipping through them when a pearly white dress catches your eye. It's floor-length with bits of see-through fabric flowing down from the side and sleeves of the same material.

The dress:

(If you don't like it imagine something different.)

You pull the dress from the rack and walk over to the mirror holding it in front of your body. It is perfect, everything about it. It's the perfect length, color, fabric, everything. You do a spin still holding the dress to your body and the fabric flows like something from a storybook. You run your hands over the silky fabric before placing it back on the rack where you found it, sighing.

You turn away from the array of dresses and to Aurora and Miriam, Miriam holding a dark red dress in front of Aurora and looking deep in thought. A slight giggle comes out of your mouth at the scene when you see Aurora reaching for a completely different dress than is held in front of her. You make your way over to them and just stand to the side to watch the scene play out.

"No no no," Miriam scolds Aurora "this one will go better with your color palette." She knocks Aurora's arm back to her side but she raises it up again.

Aurora starts whining "But Miriammm, that one is prettier!" She points to a light blue dress and reaches out for it. "No, not for you." Miriam slaps her hand away again. You walk behind Aurora and put your hands on her shoulders, "She's right you know? That dress would look better on you." You peek out from behind her to look in the mirror. "Fine! Fine..." She mumbles begrudgingly.

After a couple more dresses are shoved in front of Aurora we tidy up the place and say our goodbye to Miriam, exiting the shop. You follow Aurora into an old antique store where we look around for a bit at different trinkets and other things. While we are in the shop you hear some girls talking about something that catches your attention.

"Who do you think the prince will choose to be his wife?" The girl on the left asks, she has long blonde hair and brown eyes and is wearing a gown.

Probably from Miriam's.

"Probably one of those stuck-up rich girls that go to school with us." The girl next to her says while rolling her eyes, they both look about 17. Too young to even get picked by Prince Zuko.

Before you can hear the rest of their conversation Aurora grabs you by the arm and drags you out of the store, mumbling something about the shop owner. You're not paying attention until she taps you on the shoulder aggressively obviously trying to get your attention.

"What?" You ask, whipping your head around to face her.

Oh god...

~~~~~~~~~~~♕♔~~~~~~~~~~~

𝙽𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜:

𝙿𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜:

[brb-on-a-quest]

If you send me photos of cute animals I’ll literally love you forever (ok my love is not entirely dependent on that but it would make me soooo happy)

*opens trenchcoat* *speaks with a gravelly voice* Oh you've come to the right place friend i've got the goods.

Ok so actually my house is always a menagerie at any given moment and its chaos and like I love animals and I love my family but I at the moment I can not wait to leave this whole zoo behind because things are never calm ever. Like we have five animals that live here full time and my mother has a dog boarding business so in addition to the main cast of characters we have a whole bunch of side characters that have stayed like a couple weeks sometimes? (Literally if you're looking for peace and quiet ever, you won't find it here).

Also got most of these for my phone and i can tell i am more cat person than dog person because I have two videos of the actual puppy, two photos of my other dog and like more decent photos of the cats. So let me introduce you to the whole main cast of characters:

^ This is Benji. Maltese poodle mix. We've had him since he was about 7 months old? Couple years old now and has started going into old man routine. He's very talkative and likes to make his opinion known and make sure that we greet every guest properly with due enthusiasm. Sorry to all the people who have been to my house and he's jumped on them we're trying its hard. He's currently in 4H Obedience club with my sister who adores him entirely (he puts up with her as he settles into his old man era). Fun fact about him: mans gets entirely jealous when any other dog recieves more attention than him (how dare they).

I actually don't have any good photos of Rosie (not named after @igotthisaccountunderduress, I swear but that's why I can only call you Iggy now), so take a video of our newest recruit! She's a three months old puppy? maybe four? idk how time works. She's learning a lot of things and mom's having a blast training her from scratch as we got her from a breeder rather from like a shelter as with all our other pets (my mother is obssesed with animals but wanted to do all the ground work of raising a puppy and making sure it was socialized/housetrained etc. Kudos to her because I could never. My mom is really awesome and I don't know where she finds time for this). Anyway she's kind of in her destructive menace stage still but also she hops around and it's really funny. We aquired this one after our old Corgi/lab/otherquestionable things (I just realized I don't have any pics of him) passed away from cancer. She is also the first female pet we have owned since I was a baby (mainly by coincidence I swear but it's just funny).

And now we get on to the cats. There are three of them so I'm going to start with oldest to youngest.

This is Zorro (my favorite) out of all the cats. He was acquired shortly after George when we found mice in one of our old houses. He put up with George, but after mom started getting more and more animals into the house Zorro became more and more fed up and trying to get out and away from all the whippersnappers so he's an outdoor cat now (don't worry he has an electrically heated house and is fed wonderfully and is still living his best life). He's also the only one who will actually sit on my lap and let me pet for long periods of time (I love him he's my favorite, when I move out for reals I kind of want to take him with me so he can get as pampered as he wants in his older years but IDK how much he would like adjusting back to indoor life again). He's very grumpy old man but like would die for him yk? Bebe.

This is Rocky (short for Rocket, although no one ever calls him that ever.) The reason he is called Rockey is that when we brought him home there was so much fighting and indecision over what we should call him (including much bribery and corruption when my dad tried to call a democratic vote -> one of my siblings tried selling his vote for a snickers) so we ended up just by calling him by the nickname he was given at the shelter. And it stuck. Rocky kinda forgets he is a cat sometimes and acts more like the dogs that he grew up around like by wagging his tail and like chirps instead of a proper meow. He also can never sit like a normal cat and I find him curled up in probably the most strangest positions known to man that can't be comfortable (i have a few pics but not nearly enough of all the ones he does)

This is Tigger. Tigger came from my Grandma tricking us into taking the psycho. Do not let his baby face fool you this cat is a menace to society. He was with a friend of my grandma's who liked antagonizing him and taught him to play really rough and maybe neglected him? Which is really sad because it taught him so many bad habits that means he is the menace that he is. Anyway, parents got him while I was away at college and adopted him on my birthday (when i wasn't there). But even though none of the human peoples like him all that much, Rocky does and also we would all feel really guilty about rehoming him because if we rehomed him he'd probably be euthanized or something because he's not a friendly cat. Or rather, let me put it this way. I think he's very friendly he's just too violently playful. His favorite game is hiding in like darkened corners and under covered tables and then jumping out and scratching/biting people (traumatized lil 7yo sis bc of it so she stays far away from him now). The funniest thing is that he'll still keep the baby face and he looks like he has no thoughts behind his eyes and the next thing you know he's clawing off your hand. We've been trying to train the agression out of him but it's really not as easy as training dogs.

like don't get me wrong I love murder cat (as I have dubbed him) but also I fear him and he knows it. However his eternal baby face gives me much meme material so he do pull his own weight around the house. He's also the only cat to have ever caught and killed a mouse inside. So we're grateful to him and glad he's part of our family but he's more effective than either of our dogs if a burglar breaks in. Actually, I should put the other pic here as well.

He may look cute but don't believe him. It's all part of his plan to get you in your sleep. (JK JK, murder cat, if you learned to read and are watching me as you sit behind me, please know that I do love you even though you frustrate me to know end pelase don't eat me).

Bonus: some very raw (still alive) baby birbs found by a friend of mine. Still alive as far as im aware. Also all of them are at my school so thankfully far away from my murderous pets.

[aroaceacacia]

HI!!!! sorry if you've already posted about this before, but i'm aware you help maintain a vod archive - we're trying to do this for another server and were wondering if you had any tips for useful tools or ways to go about this? thanks and sorry for bothering !!

yes ok!!! here r my tips

1. Have some sort of location where all the VODs are accessible from, for people who may want to find them. For us, we have a spreadsheet, with dates & labels; this could also take the form of a YouTube playlist or an archive.org collection

2. Having only one way to download VODs probably wont be able to cover every scenario you encounter. Here's a list of a BUNCH of resources and tools, many of which you might never need, and most of which I've never heard of. In terms of programs to download VODs, I personally use a mixture of three: Twitch Downloader, 4k Video Downloader, and Twitch Recover. (I use Downloader to access most Twitch VODs, 4k for YouTube videos/streams - although it also does Twitch - and Twitch Recover for when a VOD has been recently deleted*.)

3. TWITCH DELETES VODS !!!! unless a vod is saved as a highlight, those suckers go KABLOOEY at a certain point! the exact amount of time will vary, depending on whether ur streamer is affiliate, partner, or not, so knowing your streamer's status is very helpful. I think non-affiliates and affiliates have a week, and then partners have 60 days. Note that Twitch Recover does not work on VODs older than 60 days, so this time limit is REALLY IMPORTANT.

4. If you're able to get in touch with your streamers in some way, that is really cool and epic! Not necessary at all, but sometimes it's nice being able to remind streamers theres a demand for an official VODs channel, or asking if they have any spare VODs lying around

5. HAVE FRIENDS TO DO THIS WITH !! you said "we" so I assume theres probably a team of some sort already, but division of labor is HUGELY helpful for VOD archiving, because those GB start adding up fast. (It's about 2.5 GB per 1 hour of video at 1080p quality, and generally you want the highest quality possible, so VODs can get pretty chunky.) Oh yeah I guess storage space is useful too. Remember to do spring cleaning also every now and then and make sure you dont delete anything that isnt already backed up elsewhere 👍 but yes. Teamwork. Communicating with the group about who will do what, being able to mobilize in a potential crisis, and making occasional public calls for additional hands on help are all super important, I've found.

6. YouTube is a copyright bitch! While it's better for watching vods back on, it will occasionally block a vod for copyright. YouTube is great, I upload all my MCC vods there unlisted, but I also recommend getting familiar with archive.org. archive is a little slower to upload but it won't hide a VOD worldwide because it had a copyrighted song or three in it. Having mirrors of uploads is a good tool for peace of mind - one of my friends has been on a kick of double mirroring VODs lately, even ones that will eventually be up on a VODs channel, but that's also a lot of uploading and slows him down

7. Being aware to at least some degree of the contents of what you're archiving is a good thing. Sometimes you need to censor out an accidental doxxing or worry about an IP leak, and I find it makes me feel more confident in my work if I know what I'm preserving. Like, I archive plenty of MCC POVs I havent necessarily watched, but they're all MCC, and I know what happens, and I sometimes hear details from other people - but a random server VOD from a guy I don't watch much of could contain anything. Sometimes I worry I've accidentally stuck deeply personal information into the internets biggest document repository. And maybe I have. But having some familiarity helps the peace of mind

8. Have fun with it and take pride in your work! You're helping to prevent something you love, the hard work of others, from becoming lost media! That's sooooo epic and sexy and cool of you, actually, and more people should do it - either on their own for their own personal purposes, or in the context of a larger project, like me and you

tl;dr its work but it boils down to communication, having the right tools, and having a team that is willing to adapt and cooperate in order to get stuff done! best of luck in your efforts

[theexiledviera]

Dawntrail Benchmark: Thoughts and Screenshots

The moment we've been waiting for, and in some cases dreading. Dawntrail's official benchmark released, showcasing XIV's graphics update and the opportunity for us to see our beloved WoLs' appearances going forward. The results led to the expected mixed reactions with players either elated or aghast with what's changed for their characters.

Even I found myself hesitant to really form an opinion on how Astraea looked in the Character Creator menu. At first I was shocked with her appearance when bringing her into the light. Something clearly looked off, and I worried that the time had come to say goodbye to a muse that did so much for my inspiration and personal healing.

Left - 6.58 / Right - Benchmark

I don't know who at SE thought it was a good idea to have the Character Creator use lighting this abysmal, but dear god! It really clashes with the new textures and bone structures of the redesigned models. It wasn't until I rotated Astraea's face towards the shade when the previews yielded far better results.

It was then that Astraea looked like herself, albeit maybe a little older than she currently appeared ingame, but in a good way. Still, I had to run the trailer to really see how she transitioned to the upcoming graphics update.

Environmentally speaking, the update looks incredible with the more lush foliage and higher textured elements in the open world. Grass and flowers having actual collision on them was an attention to detail I didn't expect with this update, but it's awesome to see.

Seeing Astraea in action brought me peace of mind about the graphics update, not only with her appearance, but with the surprising improvements to her features and motions on display (we actually have real feet and fingers now!!).

I can understand and sympathize with a lot of people who had the knee-jerk reactions they did. When the Benchmark was released, we had no idea how bad the CC menu was going to make our WoLs look.

That's not to say some of the criticism wasn't justified for the more obvious changes. There are some creative decisions that are rather mind-boggling to say the least. Moonkeeper Miqos, you have my condolences for the loss of your fangs.

Whether or not SE will address these concerns as they had from past showcases is yet to be seen, but likely to happen, if not before, then surely after Dawntrail's launch. We can only be patient in the matter.

I've been having fun rebuilding and previewing all my characters in the Benchmark to see if there are any major changes, but so far they all look the same, if not better. My Roe, Skarnwyda really glowed up with this update. Just look at her!

And then, there's the fem Hroths. Overall, I love their design being more beast-like than human, similar to their male counterparts. I am disappointed with the limited customization for them in the Benchmark. We didn't even get normal hair selections for them, which I'm sure will change when DT releases...I hope.

I don't have plans on adding a fem Hroth to Astraea's lore (I'm far too late in the game to make it work), but there's always room for one in Chessylite's story.

In the end, I'm excited for Dawntrail and the graphics update. It will take some getting used to, and surely there are hiccups SE will need to fix as they continue bringing the whole game up to code with it. My biggest concern is the lighting system, at least for the older zones if the CC menu is anything to go by.

It's not perfect, far from it, but it's a step in the right direction for XIV's future.

[thegeminisage]

SEARCH FOR SPOCK breakdown

i watched THIS movie three days ago and im still not over it. incoherent phone liveblogs translated to normal human language below:

firstly, this movie is extraordinarily quiet. even with my computer and browser volume and 100% i still couldn't hear it. we had such trouble finding a copy that was both loud and subtitled i had to download my own - even actually starting a free paranmount plus trial didn't work because their website is GARBAGE and refused to load the movie for me on any browser. which meant losing one day. and then the second day i was out of town. i had to wait SO LONG to start searching for spock. i basically forgot the first 12 minutes of the film bc of those two lost days

uhura was very hot in this movie. i love how she had stuff to do. idk how she keeps getting hotter every movie but she's the most beautiful woman in the world i think. her telling that little ensign to get into the closet while calling him a good boy was maybe the sexiest thing she's ever done. i wish she had gotten to go with them the whole time!

the absolute screaming that ensued when kirk found bones sitting in a pitch black room with spock's voice coming out of his mouth. like i said i knew vaguely about this but i did not expect him to be FUCKING POSSESSED??? i need to find time to read 4000 spones fics about this specifically if anyone has recs i am soliciting them

everything was so good. the comment about poison in a bar not being logical. the failed nerve pinch. him being able to suddenly act as first officer. mwah

i like the snowy cacti on genesis even though most of those sections lagged for me personally. not like computer lag but like. psychologically. and baby spock was so cute!! teenage spock did not need to be fucking his former student who is now way older than him tho. that was wack. sorry saavik

the entire section of busting bones out of prison and stealing the enterprise is one of my favorite trek scenes from everything i've seen so far, actually. it's exciting, it's funny, it's heartwarming, the chemistry is off the charts, and they all truly feel like a family.......cathy said it best but this is what aos was missing tbh

ALSO I TOTALLY RECOGNIZED LEONARD NIMOY'S VOICE IN THE ELEVATOR SHAFT. am i faceblind maybe a little bit but my ear never fails me

very shocked to see christopher lloyd in this movie. his makeup was um questionable. but he did a great job

we went back and forth for awhile on whether or not bones realized he was possessed. i guess "you're suffering from a mind meld" wasn't specific enough. like did he know spock was IN THERE. but we didnt know for sure until jim was like "how are we doing" and bones was like "WE are doing just fine thank you but i'd rather he have just taken a kidney" which was fucking hilarious. third best best line after "i've got all his marbles" and "THAT GREEN BLOODED SON OF A BITCH THIS IS REVENGE FOR ALL THE ARGUMENTS HE LOST" he's so iconic. like it wasn't actually just revenge for the stunt he pulled in the empath.

deeply mourning the enterprise. i knew there were different enterprises and that they had to blow her up eventually bc spoilers but this is the one and only first ever enterprise TO ME. watching her go down in flames was almost as painful as watching spock die. rest in peace queen :(

absolutely FLOORED they fridged david. i didn't expect them to do that ever but i'm SO glad they did bc 1. cry bitch and 2. i didn't actually care about him. despite them finding spock on genesis those parts of the movie felt slowest to me because spock wasn't able to like, Be Spock and i just did not care about david. i like saavik but i liked her better when she wasn't fucking spock. so. perfect choice

final fight was good. i was like I DONT CARE ABOUT THIS SHOW ME SPOCK but then i gasped every time one of them almost bit it. rip christopher lloyd's character he did a great job

did i burst into tears when kirk held spock and pointed a gun at people? yeah

however what we missed was the bit where bones goes to hold him instead when kirk has to put him down. truly the mcspirk movie of all time.

bones going "i choose the danger" HE IS SO IMPORTANT i love him so much

having absolute kittens in the section where i had to wait to find out if they put spock's katra back. like obviously they were gonna. did i start crying again when spock started talking? YEAH. i knew he was gonna have amnesia but i forgot so i got to be surprised anyway. and then also cried through the credits too bc ofc i did. spock is so important. bones tapping his temple at the end was everything though

idk why everyone says the odd ones are all bad! 1 was bad and i know everybody hated 5 but 3 was REALLY GOOD. i liked it even better than wrath of khan - aside from, again, the pon farr thing. there was more interpersonal stuff than in 2 but it didn't lack action and momentum the way that 1 did. it was perfect. there's no way 4 can be better than this. no way. sincerely hoping i eat my words <3