#and personally i've found peace in knowing that there are people who are older than me. trusting that they've dealt with these things too i

[crescentfool]

with the year coming to a close, i hope that anyone who's reflecting about how the year went remembers to be kind and fair to themselves with how you evaluate the year as a whole.

i think there are definitely times when life throws things that are... Not So Great at you. whether if it's some external circumstance that surprised you, or maybe your mentality wasn't at it's best. i wish for anyone who's encountered those kinds of challenges to be able to triumph over them and be able to say that they got through it.

heck, it might still be a work in progress even though you've kept chipping away at it, and that's ok! the results will show themselves eventually as you work through it! and i hope that we can all remember to be patient with ourselves as we go through these processes (learning, healing, etc.), because damn, it can be frustrating when you feel like you're "not there yet."

knowing that life can be rough at times, i think it's unfair to yourself (and others) to discount and downplay any progress you've made this year- whether if it's something that you did for the first time, or maybe you came to a new understanding and insight that you didn't have in the previous year.

it's not to say that you should undermine the validity of your experience with hardship, but to take the time to remind yourself what makes life worth living. to recall what moments were the most satisfying to you- and use it to strengthen your resolve for the next year and beyond. no amount of hardship will ever take away from the fact that you deserve to have hope that things will get better.

i hope that looking back on the year, you don't leave out the things you cherish. that you can remember the good that came this year. whether if the small victories are things like meeting someone new, trying something out for the first time, or making some strides in a long-term project/obligation...!

i wish everyone a happy new year! may it be prosperous, and that your life can move in a direction that's close to what you want out of life. you're all going to do great! remember to congratulate yourself for what you did well! despite everything, you're still here, and that's wonderful. never forget that!

[polarisjisung]

LOVE ON THE COURT | 31 BETRAYAL.

SYNOPSIS | every college student has their struggles, but raising her younger brother has Y/N top of the list, struggling her way through college whilst balancing her academics and basketball captaincy is difficult no doubt and with Jaemin, her ex best friend and captain of the guys basketball team, and his growing one sided hatred towards her, it doesn't seem to be getting any easier

WARNINGS | swearing, abandonment issues + shitty family dynamics

NOTES | idk what to say about Liam Payne.. this is all very shocking, he was so young

today's actual note is at the end of the chapter (I have no idea why I've been putting them at the beginning)

11:49 PM sunday night

The warmth, the comfort, the ease of being surrounded by the people she loved most had been healing. Y/n knew that running away from her problems, however small, wasn't the right thing to do.

She had known it for a while, but every time she had thought to reach out and voice out her concerns, a quiet whisper in the back of her head seemed to stop her, one that begged her not to be so dependent on the support of the people around her, she knew that they could leave, and if they did, she wouldn't be able to handle herself. She wasn't strong enough to withstand the bitter feeling of abandonment again. And so time and time again she stopped herself, but this time she knew it wasn't worth worrying over the what ifs, and even if she had no guarantee that the people in her life were here to stay, she would take their word for it.

Whether it was a conversation with a friend, or responding to the messages that had been piling up over the weekend, she knew that detaching herself wasn't an option. It was that realisation that had been the whole essence of her night. How she'd made up with ningning most predominantly.

But every lesson learnt and every ounce of comprehension in her seemed to vanish only hours later. After the voices echoing through her apartment had hushed and too many lively and fun conversations had found their ends.

Y/n's friends had ultimately returned home, Jay to his own apartment next door and she had tucked Minjun into bed ready for the working week ahead, he had school early tomorrow morning. Y/n had busied herself in packing his bag and gathering her own things together, a smile on her face knowing that even if things weren't perfect, she didn't have to face them alone, though she didn't quite believe that part, it was worth a shot.

She would lean on her friends when they offered and she would reach out when she needed to. It seemed simple enough.

But when she swung open the door, hesitantly— confused as to who could possibly be visiting her as the clock was almost about to tick over the hour, her face drained of all colour and her breath caught in her throat.

It was as though her peace was taken away, and with it went all the coherent thoughts in her mind. She felt empty.

Nothing but a loop of memories in her brain, the empty house she woke up to years ago, the cries that echoed from minjun's nursery, the taunting weight of loneliness that still pressed down on her to this day. Every minute, every second of that day played in her mind like a broken record, and each recollection was vivid, details accumulating to add to the weight that fell heavy on her chest.

No reason, no words, not even an explanation on where he was going, not even a warning. It all came rushing back to her, every emotion, every feeling, the pressure, it all came back to her with ten times the pain, raw and unforgettable. Her heart ached. She felt constricted for air, like the person stood in front of her had tied a noose along her neck and each second that passed pulled the knot tighter and tighter.

Because there he was, stood towering over her, older than she remembered, weaker, but just as familar as the day he left, the man she called her father.

It was an instinct, whether protective or not y/n wasn't sure, but she found herself shutting the apartment door behind her, afraid of what the man in front of her was capable of. If he was capable of leaving his children alone in the middle of the night one day, only to never return, she assumed he was capable of much worse.

There's a lot of questions she'd like to ask, why he left, why he never came back, whether he felt guilty or not, she wanted to ask the questions she'd spent years wondering, raising herself and her brother all alone, but all that she could force out was one question.

"What are you doing here?" and even then her voice faltered despite her pointed tone

"That's no way to greet your father y/n" she can't help but sigh. Now he wanted to be a father?

"How did you find out where I lived?" she asked, a shakiness to her voice that didn't go unnoticed by her dad. But she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her break.

"You're not going to invite me in?" he said, a smile on his face that y/n recognised as all but genuine. It didn't carry the same affection, didn't radiate the same warmth, it served as nothing more than a bitter reminder of all that he had done, or rather, all that he never did.

"It's not usually smart to invite strangers into your home and especially not at this time," she sighs, her eyes boring into his. "Is there actually any reason you're here?"

"I can't come see my children?" she scoffs, his children?

"You lost that right years ago, don't contact me, don't message me and don't you dare come back here ever again" she was going to leave, knowing she didn't want to give him the privilege of knowing just how much she has struggled without him, she was and always would be fine without him, she'd learnt how to be.

"You won't ask why I left?" he asked from behind her, stopping her before she could enter her apartment again.

"I don't care why, you left without a word last time, do the same again" y/n was ready to slam the door in his face, but his next words came accompanied by a knowing smirk

"That might be your decision y/n, but what about minjun, he is my son after all, don't you think he deserves a father?"

Her face contorted with a slight confusion, nose scrunching as she felt her skin crawl

"Your son?" another scoff, "you've never acted like he was your son"

"I asked you if you think he deserves a father, you can't take that away from him just because it was something you never had"

Y/n rolls her eyes "You know I waited all my life for you to step up and be a father, minjun deserves a father more than anything, but he deserves better than you"

"no one can be better than his real father come on? you're my daughter aren't you smarter than this y/n?"

"I stopped being your daughter the day you left. And if there's anything I've learnt in all these years, it's that you're not someone to trust. I know you, you're not capable of being a father."

"And you are? your little basketball friends are? that jaemin boy who left you just like I did is capable of helping you raise my son, but for some reason, I'm not?" his words cut deep, his intentions clear yet y/n was blinded by emotion, and the unrelenting desire to not break in front of him. "If you can let him back into your life y/n, then why not me? After all, blood is thicker than water. If I can leave you, why are you so certain they won't"

NOTES | cats out of the bag... as for y/n's dad, this is not the last we will be seeing of him and he will be hearing a lot more than this, I can't WAIT for y/n to give him an earful 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

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[hojichiuu]

𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝, 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭.

featuring: Boynextdoor's Knight!Taesan x femprincess!reader

setting: slight angst, mostly hurt/comfort, secret relationship, medieval times au

summary: daughter of one of the most renowned kingdoms to exist, you were obligated to carry the weight of the kingdom on your shoulders as the next heir. one after the other, the expectations and burdens have been thrown at you for as long as you could fathom. naturally finding your safe haven in taesan; a knight chosen to serve the king, basking in his comfort when things became too much to handle. yet nothing could prepare the two of you for the news that would be announced by your parents on the night of the annual banquet hall.

warnings: for writing purposes i've written taesan which is his official title name but reader personally calls him by his real name han dongmin, mentions of parental abuse, secret relationship with taesan, arranged marriage, reader has a panic attack, talks of self doubt and burdening expectations, pet names (kinda?), so so much comfort, let me know if i've missed any!

word count: 3.8k (this was meant to be a short i blacked out)

author's note: the idea sparked from jaehyun's speech during HOW? comeback era where he says "you know what kind of person Taesan is, how warm and kind he is." :( this is just something small i've written, idk if i'll add a prologue or epilogue yet as i'm still continuing the gryffindor!jaehyun fic which i'm not entirely sure when it'll be out but i'll try my best! REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE ALWAYSSS APPRECIATED <3333

It must be both a blessing and a curse to be able to feel things so deeply. 

Dusk seeps in as the air temperature begins to drop, daggers of ice contaminated your lungs with every breath you seemed to take. Grabbing as much of your gown as you possibly could whilst mindlessly trudging through the unkempt grass that laid behind the palace. 

You didn’t know where you were going, you had no clear destination. All you knew was that if you stayed any second longer at the ceremonial banquet you would’ve either thrown up on everybody or passed out. 

When did all of this this start?

Was it months prior when your parents sat you down by the dining table, discussing with you that you've reached the age to be betrothed? Was it when they scolded you to start thinking about the future, the reputation of you and your people? Was it when weeks turned to days to hours of men continuously knocking at the door asking for your hand in marriage in order for them to rule? Or when your father tried smacking some sense into you once he found out you had been sabotaging each proposal that was made for you. Berating you at the fact that many other kingdoms have decided to cut ties and supplies due to your immature behaviour.

Despite the continuous declarations of love by the front gate from men decades older than you, despite the physical discipline your parents instilled into you, despite the pressure of ruling the future kingdom daunting down on your shoulders.

Your eyes, head and heart only fell on one thing. One person. 

You never once spared a glance at those who publicly set their eyes on you. The thought of ever marrying one of these men had only ever left you with a deep unbridled disgust that harboured within your gut.

On the day of the ceremony in which you were told was a celebration of a new peace treaty. Which although not entirely false, was used to cover up big news that everyone else seemed to know but you. 

You knew something was wrong.

Feeling the back of your neck begin to heat up from the warm lights that illuminated the halls, the sweat that built up on your hands as you nervously fidgeted with your fingers, the continuous tapping of your foot. There was a sinking feeling in your chest you couldn’t quite seem to shake off.

Yet nothing could ever compare to the pang in your chest the moment your parents publicly announced your engagement to the prince of Ansan, an engagement you’ve never even heard about.

Crowds hooted and hollered over the fantastic news that united both kingdoms, all eager to celebrate through drinks and dances for the rest of the night.

You didn’t move, didn’t speak. Terrified that if you made a single movement, everything you had so carefully built up within yourself would break.

Instead, you kept your eyes staring daggers into the back of your parents, silently cursing them as they never once decided to look back to you. Carelessly chatting away with the current rulers of Ansan over a glass of freshly produced wine.

You knew that they planned this engagement as part of the peace treaty, that they would offer up their daughter to a strangers son for the future of both kingdoms.

You knew they purposely didn’t tell you the news because they knew how you would respond.

You knew all this and yet, you had never felt so small. 

Suddenly aware of the thousands of mindless conversations that filled the room, the occasional sounds of glasses clinking and chairs creaking along the polished floors began to cloud your mind and ring your ears.

Since when did the room becoming so small? Why were the lights shining brighter than usual? Thoughts clouded your mind one by one, little by little, until the only conscious thought left was hearing the sound of your rushed heartbeat as it bursted through your eardrums, the feeling of your corset suddenly became increasingly tighter by the minute, your palms felt sticky. And for something so natural you did since birth, you wondered…

Since when did it get so hard to breathe.

Getting out of there was the only reoccurring thought you had. Not caring about the consequences that lied beyond as you messily stumbled your way out of the ballroom, ignoring the countless stares you earned as you pushed through the crowd in panicked daze, avoiding those who expressed concern about the sudden paleness of your face or the fact you tripped over your gown multiple times.

You couldn’t think straight. You couldn’t seem to care anymore, because the moment that engagement was announced, all you could possibly think about was that you couldn’t see Taesan anymore.

-

Nights where you would sneak out of the north wing as you cautiously made your way to The Keep; a chamber where all the knights resided.

Times where Taesan would help you quietly to his room, hushed giggles and reckless stumbling as you both climbed into bed, letting out a sigh of content once you fell into each other’s embrace.

The countless nights that were filled with quiet love confessions and soft kisses, nights where the world finally fell quiet.

Where despite seeing him on duty around the corridors of the palace, you two were only ever able to exchange small looks of longing to one another.

In times where Taesan would silently clench his jaw as he spots another group of men by the gate waiting to whisk you away.

Where in those specific nights, Taesan let himself love you just a bit more, let his hands linger intertwined with yours for just a bit longer. Praying his burning touch could translate into the words you both never dared to say. 

Because in truth, deep down, you both knew that this would never work out. That a knight such as he could never be granted permission to ask for your hand. You both knew that in no world such as this, would the two of you ever be accepted.

Yet as night falls, without a second thought, Taesan slowly kisses away the thoughts that plague your mind, murmuring soft words of comfort into your skin.

You don’t miss the way he embraces you every night as if it were his last. 

As the sun sets, through tangled sheets and soft sighs, for just a moment; you both let yourselves forget about the fate you were bound to.

-

You knew Taesan heard the news.

Everyone that resided in the palace was instructed to stand by the door in order to hear the anticipated speech of the night.

You don’t know what expression paints his face, if he allowed his mask to drop for even a second when the news announced, how many thoughts were racing through his head.

For a moment you wonder if he felt his heart sink such as you did.

So despite the calls of concern from passerbys, you stumbled your way out of the banquet hall. Letting your feet take you as far away from the palace as you could, until you were sure couldn’t see the lights from the windows that ignited the night. You don’t know how long you’ve been running, the meadow was vast after all, and your feet were beginning to sting from the stiffness of your heels. The sound of your heavy breathing begun to fill your ears as you try to catch your breath. Taking in the scenery that filled all your senses, the crispiness of the air, the buzzing from the cicadas of the night, the wind that occasionally brushed against your skin that filled with goosebumps as a response. 

Craning your neck as you begin to count each star that illuminated the night, allowing your breath to steady with each count.

Breathing in as you close your eyes, reminiscing back to the moments before where you sat at the banquet table, surrounded by hundreds of strangers with their piercing gazes that never failed to send shivers down your spine. To the times where you had mockingly cursed those who hovered by your door of the castle, asking for your hand.

Blurred memories of faceless figures begun to cloud your mind, seeping their way into your soul to break it piece by piece for their pure satisfaction. You think about the lonely days at the palace; days filled with silence and discipline, you think about the drunken men whose arms lingered far longer than usual on your waist as you greeted them, the way their wedded wives looked at you in the face of disgust whilst whispering vulgar insults to wouldn’t dare wish on anyone. Only to plaster a mocking smile in your direction once caught.

Yet you will never forget the stares of your parents that stabbed their way into the darkest depths of your soul, where no words were ever needed to show the disappointment they carried for their only child. 

You let the anger hold itself as the lump in your throat you tried to so desperately swallow, you let it gather unspent in the corners of your eyes as it threatens to spill out, you allow it to boil as your blood that flowed through every nook of your bones.

Years worth of unexplained grief had begun to claw its way out of your skin. Making its way to your fingertips as the grip you had on your gown subconsciously began to loosen, silently allowing the soiled mud seep into the soft fabric. To your knees that slowly gave out as they began to buckle beneath you. Letting yourself drop as if the weight of your burdens suddenly became too heavy to hold, to your lips as you choked out a whimper in the silence of the night. Covering your mouth as your quiet whimpers morphed into choked sobs.

For once, you allow the unbridled grief within you to trickle out the corner of your eyes and onto the grass beneath you.

For once, you allow yourself to feel.

Trying to curl yourself into your soiled knees, praying no one could hear the strangled cries you held within. As one arm hug your sides whilst the other clasped around your jaw, covering your mouth in hopes of easing the noise. All useless attempts to keep you from slipping any further.

You wanted to scream, to wail, to love, to smile purely, to punch someone. Yet despite the sting in your lungs from the cold air, the roughness of the soiled grass that lay beneath you, the futile attempts in drowning out your cries – you prayed someone, somewhere, anywhere might’ve understood the turmoil that boiled deep inside you.

-

You don’t know how long it’s been since you ran out the hall. You don’t know if your prayers were heard by some great deity, but you didn’t miss the reverberating noise of chain mail clanking continuously onto the armor that belonged to whoever began quickly pacing towards you. 

But before you were able to react towards the noise, a large pair of arms silently wrapped itself around you, one arm circling your waist as the other gently rubbed your nape to help ease your sobs. Pressing your cheek against the cold armour that embraced you, taking in its smooth texture before hearing the hush murmurs of comfort that tickled your skin.

Hush murmurs of comfort that were no stranger to you in the night.

You tense under his hold, not daring to look up because you knew that if you did, you would break completely.

But Taesan knew you, your little ticks, subtle movements, he knew how to read it all. He knew what the silence meant.

“I’m here, shh please don’t cry anymore. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. So sorry my love I’m here now.” his soft whispers of reassurance attempts to drown out your whimpers. You feel his hurried breath fan your skin as he nuzzles closer, burying his face in the dip of your neck. Chest heaving almost as if he had been searching the whole castle inside out to look for you.

“D…Dongmi..n..” you managed to choke out broken phrases. Grabbing the hand that rested on your nape, feeling the familiar rough texture that had held you for countless nights,your eyes squinting to make out his figure in the night. 

As your eyes begin to adjust properly to the dark, you let yourself admire his moonlit kissed features. The way his brows furrowed, lips tight in a thin line, eyes filled with a void of tenderness and worry that made you want to cry.

Yet despite everything, all you could think about was how beautiful he looked. 

The ruffle of his hair that laid unkept from roughly taking off his armour, his honey brown eyes swirling with millions of unsaid thoughts and emotions that shone under the night sky, his lips raw from his continuous biting habits, his flushed cheeks; pink from hysterically searching for you. You try to take him in further, eyes gazing along his long slender fingers that brushed against your skin through countless nights.

He was undeniably the most beautiful this kingdom ever had to offer.

“Dongmin I…I didn’t know,” you hiccuped, swallowing your spit as you shake your head. “I swear, I promise. I’m sorry please believe me, I didn’t know about the engagement. I can’t… I don’t want…” stumbling over your words in a panic as you try so desperately to convince him that you played no part in your own betrothal. 

You couldn’t help but notice his eyes widening at your unnatural outburst.

From the moment Taesan spotted you curled up within yourself on your knees in the middle of the pasture, taking in your small shrinking figure in contrast to the vast fields of grass, something in him had started to break. That he was so sure his heart couldn’t possibly sink any further after hearing the news of your engagement. That there was nothing else left that could shatter his heart further.

And yet the moment he gently cupped your fragile face in the palm of his hands, feeling your soft hands grip tightly around his wrists ro anchor yourself, noticing the way your knuckles begun to turn white from how much you were squeezing him. As if you were holding onto him with all your strength, as if he was all you had left to keep yourself from slipping into the abyss.

Taesan felt his soul break into pieces. 

As he lets his eyes rake over your grief stricken face, the glow of the moonlight highlighting your tear stained face as the sound of your choked sobs filled his ears. He holds you, engulfing your fragile body with his. Pouring all his unspoken words into his embrace, praying you heard. Silently wishing he could shield you from all the bad in the world, all the ugly and hollow. All the things that weren’t you.

“I know.” he whispers, eyes softening. “I know my love…no I know, of course you couldn’t have known. I believe you, I promise. So please…” he slowly takes in a deep shaky breath, praying the tears that threatened to fall would stay put. That he can drown in his emotions once he was alone, but right now he needs to be here for you, with you. 

“Don’t worry…I…we’ll work something out, I promise. We’ll be okay, so don’t cry anymore…okay? Please my love, please don’t cry anymore.” his voice betrays him as it breaks, kissing your hair as he lets your scent invade his lungs, letting his arms wrap around you even tighter. 

“I see you,” he consoles you through quiet whispers against your ear, words only for you to hear.

“I see the way you carry yourself, despite the words that come your way, I see the situations you’re forced into by your parents, how lonely you get by the dinner table, yet still mustering the courage to compliment the chef, the pressure of everything bestowed onto you… I see the way you hold yourself with such strength that only I could ever dream of.” 

Feeling your soft cries slowly drown out into small sniffs and hiccups, looking up to see his eyes crinkle into small crescents as lips curl up into a small smile. The rarity of a smile you could admire for the rest of your life, the smile that he talks about with such insecurity when in actuality, you couldn’t begin to express how often you wish to carve it into the mass of your bones. 

He tenderly rests your head on his shoulder as he rubs your back to ease the discomfort, continuing to whisper soft praises to you. 

“My kind, beautiful girl…” he begins to pepper soft kisses across your face with each word, lips kissing your cheeks, the crown of your head, the side of your face, your eyelids, everything he could reach. “The embodiment of strength…the purest of hearts...my precious love… my most cherished.” each peck reigniting a fire in your heart that had been burnt out long ago.

Letting out a breathy laugh as you scrunch your nose in anticipation for the next kiss, only to open your eyes to see him staring at you with such adoration.

His gentle gaze. Seeing you, for all you were, all you are, all you will be.

Suddenly feeling insecure under his gaze, you shake your head, eyes faltering as you whisper.

“I am not what you say I am, I am not even close to it.” your voice shakes, continuing before he could protest.

“I am…tired of it.” you attempt to piece your thoughts together amidst the chaos that plagued your mind. Refusing to look him in the eye as you resort to focusing on the curve of his armour. “These people make me feel as though I have a hole in the middle of my soul. I don’t think I’m fit to rule them and..and yet… and I don’t mean to be cruel I…” 

Despite feeling self conscious of your continuous stumble over words, Taesan brushes the hair out of your face, silently urging you to continue as he wipes your tears with such gentleness you feel the tears build up once again. 

“I swear that I am kind… that…that I have love in my heart, inside of me…I can’t prove it but…my mind feels all messed up. I don’t understand my own thoughts and yet, I fear that the bad thoughts that I carry within me are all that I am.” mind flashing to unpleasant memories of your fathers aggression and mothers disappointment, feeling a small tremor in your breath as you purse your lips together, Letting out an amused laugh in futile attempts to ease the tension in the air.

You hear a beat of silence, followed by another. And for a second, you wonder if opening up was a bad idea after all.

“I think you have the most beautiful mind.” 

He whispers it with such warmth and truth, as if these words came so naturally to him that he never once thought twice about it. Blurry eyes that once stayed focused on Taesan’s armour blinked up towards his face, only to see him look at you as if you had hung up the stars in the sky one by one. You let out a breath you didn’t realise you were ever holding.

“You are not hard to love,” he carefully wipes away your dried tears, “not at all…not in the slightest.”

He lived and breathed you, always and only you. Taesan knew that.

You feel his eyes linger on you, his fingers mindlessly playing with the loose strands that fell out of your bun.

“You know when we first met,” he starts. “I put some sort of…mental barrier between us.” 

Sensing your confusion to his sudden storytime, he lets out a light chuckle as his other arm squeezes your waist “I already had rumours spread around about me, that I was mean, coldhearted. That I was basically a robot wired to only serve the king.” 

You don’t miss the slight quiver in his lips as his head tilts to the side, he knows you don't miss it either. Giving you a soft smile to somehow lighten the mood, a smile filled with thousands of silent confessions.

“The rumours spread throughout the entire castle…I obviously wasn’t surprised, gossip was made to be spread after all.” he shrugs

“Yet even though you heard the rumours…you still went to see me. To talk to me.” 

“And it wasn’t just that, it was the fact that you spoke to me so naturally that it threw me in for some sort of loop.” he chuckled, you feel the rumble through his chest as your cheek presses against it. 

“After having everyone speak to me with such…I don’t know…tension? Discomfort? You coming up to me so naturally made me subconsciously break down the barriers I had so carefully built up.” 

He pulls you slightly away to take in your features, tucking back in the loose strands of your hair as he rests his forehead against yours, eyes interlocking.

“I love you with such a strange tenderness that it honestly scares me. Because all this time, I would never allow myself to be so soft for anyone, anything.” despite your noses touching, you don’t miss the way his eyes linger on your lips for a second longer.

“Do you understand me? You are not hard to love. I loved you so hard that I began to soften.” he gently engulfs your hands over his, kissing the pads of each finger.

“If you were able to get through a hard headed guy like me, then you are more than capable of capturing the hearts of the people. Give yourself more credit, my love.” 

Rolling your eyes over his hard headed comment, you slap his shoulder pad, eliciting a laugh out of him. Eyes unable to pull away from how his smile stretches across his face, silently painting it into memory. Not noticing the way your eyes begin to sting with the way Taesan so naturally held the broken pieces of your soul to slowly mend it one by one. 

Before you could even open your mouth to add onto his joke, his hand moved to cradle the back of your head as he leaned in. His lips moulded with yours with such strange gentleness, as if you were some fragile being he dared to touch.

“Shit, sorry I…” he murmurs out of breath, “I couldn’t help myself, you looked so pretty and I just lost control for a moment I didn't mean to cut you o-” 

For once, not caring for what he has to say, you snake your arms around his neck to return the gesture. Both of you sighing as your lips seemed to fit like a puzzle, moving in sync. The mix of yearning and love carried behind each kiss as his grip squeezed around your waist, letting his arm wander across your back, feeling you.

Lips moving in tandem, messy and clashing yet full of passion that mirror the nights you two spend alone. You latch onto the plushness of his lips, addicted to the feeling of it against your own. Suddenly feeling lightheaded as he continues nipping at your bottom lip, his long eyelashes flutter against your cheek, groaning as you tug at his hair.

After pulling away for what felt like a lifetime, you try to catch your breath despite the close proximity you two were currently in. Taesan prays you don’t notice the erratic pacing of his heartbeat along with the heat rushing along his ears.

“I am irrefutably in love with you Han Dongmin,” your use of his full name rather than the one given to him by the kingdom stirred a deep adoration that melted Taesan’s heart. “And I’ll be damned before I'm forced to be betrothed to another.”

He lets out a breathy chuckle, shaking his head as he lets out a boyish grin, arms circling around you pulling you closer, “As if I would ever let that happen.”

Your eyes soften as you rake over his features, he lets out a sigh of content as he closes his eyes, letting you feel across his face. Fingers dragging over the thick hairs of his eyebrows, to his eyelids, to the concave slope of his nose, his plush cheeks, feeling the plumpness of his lips. 

“I don’t believe I am fit enough to rule the hearts of the civilians... after all I only ever wanted to be with you.” you murmur quietly underneath your breath. The pads of your fingers feeling the way his lips curved into a huge grin. His hand captured your wrist, cheekily biting your finger as you let out a tiny yelp before placing the palm of your hand to his chest, his heart.

“Your royal highness you really do have a way with words, speak to the crowd in this manner and you shall capture all the hearts in no time!” he jokes, mocking the tone your parents tend to use during speeches.

Laughing as you hold his face in the palm of your hands, bringing it up closer to you before pressing multiple pecks against his giggling lips. The crowded thoughts in your mind gently dissipating, the once ringing in your ears had vanished and was replaced by his soft laughter. 

“Besides…” he murmurs against your lips, “I’ll be with you the whole time, I won’t let anything else happen to you.” 

Your presence was the sun, and those who caught a glimpse of your light were never able to look away. Taesan could only pray that one day, you were able to see yourself the way he saw you. Strong-willed, beautiful, gentle, and so, so incredibly loved. 

So for when the day eventually comes, Taesan promises to spend every waking moment of the rest of his life reminding you of your worth, of his adoration and dedication for you, helping you slowly heal the wounded scars you held deep beneath your soul, showering you with nothing but love and admiration, all knowing you would do the same for him.  

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 68 ~ Adapt

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 5

✧ Word Count : 7.2k

In this chapter ~ Things still seem rocky as Daryl clearly struggles to adjust to the new and questionable place. Though he definitely isn’t the only one, as the others find themselves wondering if they could live in peace with the people inside the walls after a fight occurs.

I lingered on those porch steps for what felt like a lifetime, unaware of the hours passing me by as I couldn't bring myself to go back inside. It wasn't until I noticed the flicker of light coming from the east, the sight of the sun making me realize I hadn't gotten a wink of rest. But I didn't want the others to be aware of that fact, ultimately causing me to head back inside before the rest of the neighborhood woke. Before the others woke, knowing they would be anxiously anticipating what the new day would bring.

Deanna apparently was very persistent that our group took our time to adjust to their lifestyle, exploring and meeting others as much as we could. Me personally however, I would rather die. I wasn't exactly jumping for joy when it came time to meet complete strangers that obviously didn't fully trust us. But regardless, everyone else seemed eager to take a look around at where we would potentially live. That I suppose I could understand.

I found myself stepping out onto the patio after the group had eventually cleared out, my arms circling around my waist as I caught sight of Rick and Daryl on the other end of the space, talking quietly amongst each other. Both of their heads turned at the sound of the door shutting behind me, my lips turning up in a small smile, though I noticed something seemed a bit off.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

Rick nodded, "Yeah, we're fine." he reassured before moving closer to where I stood, "You heading out?"

"Well," I cleared my throat, "...No."

He scoffed quietly at my blunt honestly, "Right. Hold down the fort for us." he said before squeezing my shoulder as he passed me, heading down the steps to scope out the new territory.

My gaze followed him for only a moment before panning back to Daryl, his unusual quietness catching my attention. He sat on top of the railing, messing with his crossbow with furrowed brows without even glancing up in my direction. I tilted my head a bit in confusion as I began to wonder what changed between last night and this morning. Was he mad at me? I hadn't recalled I had done anything wrong, but looking at him now I could sense something was going on.

I slowly walked over, sitting myself down across from him with a small breath, but he still didn't acknowledge me at all. Seeming to have a lot on his mind. "Hey...you okay?"

He glanced up at me briefly, "Mhm."

My eyes narrowed in suspicion, wanting to press the matter further, but the screen door opening again with a squeak caught both of our attention. And I couldn't help but grow a little shocked at the sight. There before my very eyes was Carol in a bright blue cardigan and brown slacks, looking even more like a mother than I've ever seen her.

She adjusted the article of clothing almost proudly as she smiled at the two of us, "Time to punch the clock and make the casseroles." she announced.

My confusion only grew, "You're starting your job already?"

She nodded, "Yep, they said they needed me as soon as possible. And you know what, I'm actually excited."

"Okay...and what's with the getup?"

"What? You don't like it?" she asked, smoothing down the material self-consciously.

I shook my head quickly, "Love it."

She smiled brightly at me, "I'm ready to get my hands dirty. I have to make food for the older people, people who can't cook...you get to meet a lot of the new neighbors that way you two."

Daryl scoffed, "Yeah, alright."

"Have you taken a shower yet?" she asked him.

He glanced up at her slightly, nodding his head with a quiet hum before looking back down at his weapon not even a second later. Carol squinted her eyes at him before looking over towards me, watching me simply shake my head to answer her silent question. One she already knew the answer to.

"Right. Take a shower and I'll wash that vest. We need to keep up appearances around here, even you." she ordered as she made her way down the steps.

"Ain't startin now." he muttered.

"I'm going to hose you down in your sleep!" she called over her shoulder.

He scoffed, "You look ridiculous." he countered back, "Rosie was just bein nice."

My mouth dropped before I reached down to smack his leg, "Hey, don't bring me into this."

"Yer already into it." he huffed, his hands continuing to work at adjusting his crossbow.

I rolled my eyes at his random attitude, watching Carol walk further and further down the sidewalk, before grabbing the bow from Daryl's hands once she disappeared around the corner. Wanting him to finally look at me.

"Ey-"

"Nope, nuh uh." I waved him off, propping the crossbow next to my legs, "What's going on with you?"

He sighed, "Nothin...don't worry bout it."

Again, he wouldn't meet my eyes, causing me to tilt my head down until I finally caught his attention, studying the expression he wore. He knew he could tell me anything, he knew that. So I couldn't understand why he wanted to keep his racing thoughts to himself now.

"We both know that's not true." I spoke calmly.

"Damn it woman, I said m' fine!" he suddenly snapped.

I flinched a little at the sudden loudness and harshness of his tone, watching as his breathing picked up in irritation, but I just shook my head at him. Without saying a word, I hopped back off the railing and headed towards the front door, opening and closing it behind me with a slam. Dramatic, but hey what can I say?

I sat down on the nearby sofa with a huff as I slowly dropped my head into my hands, trying my best to calm down so I wouldn't turn around and yell right back at him. But I didn't. I knew that we were all on edge after everything recently, which is why I was planning to just let it glide off my back. But at the same time, even that was a little uncalled for. Especially since he never snaps at me, hardly ever. That alone told me that something was seriously bugging him like a fly buzzing right in your ear. But maybe I was being the fly; who knows?

However, I only wanted him to be okay, to feel like he can actually talk to me about the things that bothered him so badly. He had always been good about pushing everything deep down until he couldn't anymore his whole life, but with me he never needed to. I was constantly reassuring him that I was always here to listen, to offer my shoulder to lean on, no matter how "stupid" the little things may be. I would always listen. But clearly, it didn't always go smoothly. Feeling like it was pulling teeth sometimes to get him to open up during times like this, when he felt he was dealing with these things alone.

The door slowly creaking back open minutes later is what made my thoughts falter momentarily, rolling my eyes to myself at his obvious hesitance to approach me. I didn't even need to look up to sense it from a mile away, already knowing exactly how this was going to play out. He would apologize, then tell me what's been bothering him, blame himself for taking it out on me, and then we would make up. Situations like this ended the same way every time without fail.

His steps were slow and cautious as he made his way across the room, softly sitting next to me as I heard him take in a small breath. "M' sorry, darlin...shouldn't have yelled like that." he spoke quietly.

Called it.

I reluctantly glanced up at him out of the corner of my eye, seeing his sheepish features. I sighed quietly to myself before sitting up straight, "I just want to help you...you know that, right?"

He nodded, "I know. It's just...yer not gonna like what I have to say."

"Try me." I said, turning to face him better so he would have my full attention.

A regrettable grunt sounded from him, his hands fidgeting. "I don't fuckin belong here." he stated bluntly, "I feel so...outta place. Like m' trapped. I don't like the feelin...even if it's supposed to be safe. Stayin inside these walls, it's just not me."

"Love," I said with a small smile, "It's okay. You don't have to feel obligated to stay all the time, you still have free will to go out whenever you want. Even if it's just to get away. And you do belong here...we all need this chance."

He shook his head, "Nah, you belong here. I ain't never been in a big fancy neighborhood like this, never was handed a damn thing. Makes me uncomfortable. Plus, I don't really think folks round here will like my redneck ass behind these gates with 'em."

"Stop." I scolded softly while reaching out to comb my fingers through his hair, getting it out of his eyes, "Daryl, you deserve to be here, more than any of us. You've gone above and beyond for this group, you have a right to be spoiled a little bit. And I don't care about the other people here, screw them. If they have anything to say about you, they can come talk to me, I'll kick their asses."

He chuckled with a shake of his head, but I was far from joking, "You know I will." I finished.

"Oh, I do." he assured, absentmindedly tracing patters along my arm, as if the action itself grounded him in a way. "I don't deserve ya." he muttered quietly.

I gave him a look, "You deserve the world."

He remained silent, but really he didn't need to say a thing. His expression immediately softened when he heard my voice claim such things, almost as if he needed to hear me say it for him to actually believe it. I didn't know how much something could break my heart yet warm it all at the same time.

He then gently grabbed my jaw, pulling me in to plant a soft kiss upon my lips. I smiled against his mouth as I moved my hand around to his neck, beginning to play with his longer hair at the back of his head. I knew that this wouldn't be an easy adjustment; for him especially so. But I knew we all needed this, even if it was a hard thing to admit at times. We were close to our breaking point out there, and I never wanted to be in that situation again if I could help it.

Though I was brought back to earth when I suddenly felt Daryl try to deepen the kiss, his tongue trying to push past my lips. I couldn't help but break away from him with a small laugh at the intents. "What?" he asked.

"Well, you're not going to like what I have to say." I repeated his own words. His brows only furrowed further, "You know Carol was right, you do need to shower eventually."

He then rolled his eyes, "That means m' lettin my guard down, and I don't wanna do that yet. We still don't know-"

"The only thing that a shower is going to do is get you clean." I interrupted matter-of-factly.

A dramatic sigh passed his lips as he slumped back into the couch cushions, clearly not a fan of the idea. I rolled my eyes slightly, "What if...I showered with you?" I suggested.

I swear I had never seen him move quicker in my life. In a split second he hopped off the couch and eagerly gestured for my hand which I gladly accepted as I let out a genuine laugh. Something I hadn't done in a while. He led me upstairs in a flash up to the master bathroom I had just used yesterday, taking in the spaciousness while I shut the door behind me.

"Ya think they'll be gone for a while?" he asked, glancing back at me.

I nodded, "A few hours at least." I said with a wink.

His lip quirked up in a small smirk before I moved around him to turn on the water, running my hand under the stream to make sure the temperature was warm enough. By the time I turned back around, I found him standing just inches away from my frame, his eyes admiring me shamelessly. I wordlessly raised my arms up high and he chuckled, lifting the hem of my shirt up and over my head, his rough fingers grazing my lower abdomen in the process.

He tossed the shirt carelessly to the cold, tile floor as I moved forward to remove his leather vest from his shoulders, helping his shirt up along the way. Before we both knew it, there was nothing left to take off as it was instead littered across the floor, the two of us stepping inside the shower and instantly relaxing at the warm water that ran down our bare bodies. I took my time washing his hair, running my fingers through the built-up tangles that lingered while his head tilted back in pure tranquility. I couldn't help but smile to myself at how easy it was to get him in here by merely suggesting my own company.

After thoroughly washing every inch of his head, he leaned back into the water again to rinse his shaggy hair, watching it now messily stick to different parts of his face. His hands then moved down to my waist, slowly spinning me around so he could wash my hair as well. I gladly leaned back into him as I felt his fingers work against my scalp, finding myself admitting this time and time again how good he was with his hands. He could be so gentle, while also simultaneously knowing how to add just the right amount of pressure in certain scenarios.

With my curly locks free of bubbles, I moved to grab the nearby washcloth to lather it with soap, before swiping it across the entirety of his chest and shoulders. I watched the leftover dirt that was caked onto his skin, slowly melt away the more I scrubbed, the brown water swirling down the drain like a small tornado. He was finally starting to look like himself again, though it didn't all play into with how clean he was now. Instead there was a certain light behind his eyes when he looked down upon me as I continued to wash away any spots that I missed. The light was always there whenever I caught his gaze, I've always seen that, but somehow this seemed different.

"What?" I couldn't help but ask.

He shook his head, "Remember...when ya said I deserved the world?" I nodded, to which his smile widened. "I already got it, baby."

My brows furrowed a bit, "What do you mean?"

"Yer my world." he said as his hands squeezed my hips, "I don't need no fancy house or runnin water, none of those things mean shit to me. I have you. Makes me feel like the luckiest damn man on the planet."

My chest tightened with emotion at the complexity to his words, not being able to stop the tears from pooling in my eyes from his sweetness, along with the lack of sleep I had been facing. A few managed to run down my face no matter how much I didn't want them to, though he quickly swiped them away with his thumbs the moment he noticed.

"Hey...why ya cryin?" he asked softly.

I shook my head as I looked up at him, "Because you're too perfect...I don't know what I'd do without you."

He smiled sadly at me, bringing me close to capture my lips in a tender kiss. It always felt incredibly amazing having him with me, no matter the situation. Heavenly, is how I would describe the feeling. Just pure bliss and happiness, his presence alone was enough to make me forget every worry I ever had.

What started out as soft and sweet, suddenly became heated and hungry as we clung onto each other in a desperate manner, our lips working in a frantic dance. We both knew which direction this was heading, feeling him suddenly reach his hand back without parting from me to clumsily shut the water off. The two of us were quick to maneuver ourselves from the shower, feeling his hands all over my skin as he backed me up toward the bedroom right next door. Not caring at all about the water dripping off of us and onto the ground.

I suddenly felt the bedframe come in contact with the back of my knees, causing me to fall back not so gracefully, letting out a squeak of surprise. Our mouths parted for a moment, hearing him chuckle as he caught himself to hover over me, his forehead falling to rest on my chest.

"Ya okay?" he asked, gazing back up at me through his hooded eyes.

I nodded, "Mhm." I barely muttered before tugging him back down to kiss him again.

He hummed roughly, his teeth gently nipping at my lower lip before his tongue soothed the subtle sting, his mouth then moving down my neck to suck and lick at any part of my skin he could reach. I shivered at the sensation of the scrape of his teeth and the water droplets his hair left behind on my flesh, my head falling back against the fluffy pillows.

Though I felt myself twitch uncomfortably, growing antsy at how slow he was going considering how long it had been, my impatience eventually taking over. I quickly flipped us over so I was straddling him instead, a look of surprise crossing his face before he took a moment to take in every inch and curve. Every freckle and imperfection that he loved more than anything.

"Well, ain't you a sight." he said under his breath, his hands dancing right above my ass.

I rolled my eyes, "Shut up." I huffed before kissing him heatedly.

He instantly grabbed onto me, pulling me closer to where our chests were pressed right up against each other. And suddenly, there it was again. That heavenly feeling.

His steady heartbeat and soft breaths were the only sound that filled the room that we lied in, our legs tangled together. I ran my fingertips up and down his toned arm, while he stroked my head where he occasionally left a trail of kisses. The mattress underneath us felt very comfortable under my sore muscles, far better than the floor ever could anyway. In fact, the whole room had this peaceful atmosphere that I couldn't quite place. It was nice, but did it feel like home? That was the big question.

I then felt Daryl shift slightly from beneath my head, causing me to glance up only to see the grin still plastered on his face, his eyelids heavy. "Y'know...maybe this place ain't so bad." he joked.

I hummed as I rested my chin on his chest, "Why? Because we can end up in situations like this again?"

"Yep." he said simply, "I missed this."

"Me too." I agreed quietly, raising my hand up to move some of the hair that stuck to his forehead.

He took my hand and littered a few kisses onto my palm, before holding it close to his heart, "I love ya." he spoke, "And m' gonna stay here...for you. If that's what ya want."

I smiled sadly, "I don't know what I want..." I trailed off, the worry I had once felt now rushing back to me at full force it seemed like. Now the distraction was gone, forcing me to think about the things I wanted to avoid.

"What's wrong?" he sat up slightly.

I sighed, "I don't know how to feel about this place. Like something still seems off, and I...I just hope we can actually be safe here. I don't want to start all over again."

"Me too." he agreed, moving to kiss my forehead, "But we'll find out soon enough. And if it's not safe, we'll move on if we gotta. It'll be tough, but we'll make it through."

My head nodded slowly, "I know we will..."

My words left my mouth in a whisper, before we both unexpectedly tensed up at the sound of the front door opening loudly, only to close with another slam. The two of us flew out of bed, Daryl rushing over toward the bedroom door to close and lock it as fast as he could. But I couldn't help but laugh at the sight.

He glanced over his shoulder at me, "What?" he breathed.

"Nothing...just a nice view of your cute ass running to frantically lock the door." I spoke quietly, still slightly giggling to myself.

He sent me a playful glare, "Sorry, did you want whoever that is to see us buck naked?"

"No." I scoffed lightly with a roll of my eyes.

Though at the mention of the state we were still in sent a small shiver through me, the cold air hitting me harder than expected. I reluctantly walked over to the dresser to pick out a new pair of undergarments, attempting to cover myself back up again. But my movements were brought to a halt when I felt his strong arms snake around my waist to stop me from going further, his head ducking down to kiss my neck a few times.

"Someone's downstairs." I reminded him.

"Say the word and I'll kick 'em out." he mumbled against my skin.

I let out an airy laugh, "It's probably Glenn, I asked him to stop by and let me know how the community looked."

"I'll still tell him ta get lost."

"No," I protested gently, turning around to slide my arms around his neck, "I'm going to head down and talk to him while I still can. But..." I trailed off as I lifted my head up to whisper in his ear, "I'm all yours tonight, love."

He let out a low groan which caused me to smile, before I slowly parted from him to throw on a new change of clothes. But I could still feel his eyes trained to me, watching my every move all while I pretended not to notice. It was more fun that way, and more torturing for him.

"Ya don't know what ya do to me woman." he sighed deeply.

"I can only imagine." I smiled, my eyes trailing down his body in a hinting manner.

He followed my gaze, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks moments later when he noticed his excitement growing once again. I hummed in amusement, stepping over to leave a parting kiss on his cheek before heading out the door with the intent to walk downstairs.

But I stopped myself again momentarily, sticking my head in once more before I left, "You might want to jump in the shower again for a few minutes." I advised with a wink before shutting the door fully, hearing him chuckling just on the other side.

I stepped down the stairs slowly, peeking my head into the living room expecting to see someone occupying the space, but the room was left completely empty. My brows furrowed a little as I then ventured towards the kitchen, a little surprised to see Carl sitting in there instead of who I originally assumed. He sat slumped over on one of the stools with his back facing me, sipping on a glass of water as he sat quietly by himself.

Quietly, I made my way into the room, placing a soft hand on his back to get his attention. He jumped slightly, turning over his shoulder to which he let out a small breath of relief. "Sorry...I didn't think anyone else was here."

I shook my head, "It's okay. I couldn't quite force myself to socialize yet, so I figured I'd hang back." I joked.

He gave me a small smile and nodded, looking back down at the cup in his hands. It was easy to see that something was on his mind, finding myself taking a seat in the stool beside him and rubbed his shoulder gently to get him to look at me again.

"What's up, kid?" I asked softly.

He shook his head, "Nothing..."

I sighed, my hand falling from his frame, "Please, I can't go through this again today." I muttered quietly to myself.

He looked at me confused, "What do you mean?"

"Nothing." I laughed lightly, "Look, you don't have to get into it if you don't want to. But I'm always here if you need to talk. You know that."

He stared at me for a moment in clear contemplation, before letting out a breath of air, "It's stupid."

"I'm sure it's not. Shoot."

He sighed, "Well...I sorta met some kids my age, this guy Ron introduced me to a few of his friends...trying to make me feel included or something. And...I don't know, it was just weird. They were nice and everything, don't get me wrong, but it was kind of overwhelming. Guess I'm just not used to it."

My heartstrings tugged a bit in sympathy for the things he was feeling, understanding them all too well. "Oh sweetie, it's okay. I mean we all got here just yesterday, it's completely normal to feel a little swamped...and you want to know something?" He nodded. "I'm so overwhelmed, and I'm the one who's supposed to know what the hell I'm doing."

I managed to get him to smile a bit, feeling a bit relieved I was just as anxious about the new luxuries as he was. "Just give yourself some time because I'm telling you right now, we're all feeling overwhelmed about this, even if some of us won't admit it."

He was silent for a moment or two as he thought, "...Even Daryl?"

I laughed softly, "Even Daryl." I confirmed.

His smile slowly grew, "Thanks Ro." he whispered before leaning in, wrapping his arms around my shoulders in a comforting hug.

I held him close, holding the back of his head while my mind wandered to how much he'd grown up. It felt like just last week I was teaching him how to shoot and had to kneel down to his level to talk to him properly. But now he was practically a young adult and it sucked I couldn't do anything to stop it, especially since he had to mature so fast. Yet he had evolved into this smart, kind person, and I just wanted to give him everything he deserved in a world like this one. But in reality, all I could really do was be there for him when he needed me. And right now was a perfect example of that.

His arms finally let go after a few seconds, a smile still stretched on his face, "You're the best aunt ever." he said genuinely.

"And you're my favorite kid in the world." I replied, moving some hair from his face.

He furrowed his brows, "What about Judith?"

I shrugged, "Eh, she can't butter me up like you can yet."

He laughed heartedly, shaking his head at my smartass joke. I smiled at his reaction, seeing he seemed to be feeling better about the things he once doubted, but I couldn't linger on the moment for very long when something abruptly caught my eye from just over his shoulder. A few people I didn't recognize well ran just past the window and down the street, panicked looks on their faces. I didn't like the feeling that came after.

"If I told you to stay in the house, would you listen to me?" I asked.

"No." he answered honestly.

I shrugged, "Well, at least I can tell your dad I tried." I said before getting up from the stool and exiting the kitchen quickly, hearing his footsteps following right behind me just as I expected. "Daryl!" I called, pausing near the front door.

Not a second passed by before the man came running down the steps, fully clothed with his crossbow already in hand, "I saw it too, come on." he gestured to the two of us.

The three of us dashed out the door and down the road where the crowd gathered in the streets. There seemed to be an argument breaking out between Glenn and a man I had yet to meet, hovering near the giant gates as if they had just arrived back from a run of sorts. As we got closer to the scene, I gently grabbed Carl's arm so we would slow down together, not wanting him to get mixed up in whatever the hell this was.

"Stay back here, I mean it."

"Ro-" he tried to protest.

"Carl." I said sternly, giving him a pointed look to show just how serious I was.

I didn't wait for an answer before I parted from him, jogging the rest of the way to be aligned with everyone else, watching the man step closer to Glenn's face and muttering something I couldn't make out from where I stood. Tara instantly snapped at him to knock it off, but he did quite the opposite. He instead pushed Glenn by his shoulders intimidatingly, to try and get him to fight? Or something? I don't know, personally I still don't understand men. I tensed at the harsh shove, but didn't do anything. Although I found my hand hovering closer to the knife I kept on my hip without even meaning to. Instinct slowly taking over as I was prepared to defend him.

When Glenn tried to defuse the situation the man only knocked him back again, and I found I could no longer hold my tongue. "Hey, I would back the hell off if I were you." I said loudly.

The guy's head turned at the sound of my voice, scoffing to himself before looking me up and down, "Yeah? What's gonna happen if I don't?"

My mouth parted to say something more, but I stopped myself when his eyes focused on something just behind me, watching him visibly recoil. There was only about one person I knew who could make someone's skin turn pale with just one look that read a thousand things, I didn't even need to turn around to know he was there. Watching. Hovering behind me just in case the man was more bite than bark.

"No one's impressed man. Just walk away." Glenn muttered, his expression remaining unimpressed. Personally, I would've knocked his lights out by now. But Glenn was so patient it blew my mind.

"Aiden! What is going on?" Deanna's voice suddenly called out, approaching the scene with an angry look in her eye as she glanced between them. Trying to get a read on the scene.

"This guy has a problem with the way we do things." Adien responded and looked back at the smaller woman, "Why'd you let these people in?" he asked.

"Because we actually know what we're doing out there." Glenn clapped back.

It all then happened in a flash. Aiden whipped around to try and lay a punch on Glenn, but he dodged it quickly and knocked him across the face, sending him flying to the ground. The whole crowd erupted into shocked gasps and shouts of protest, Nicholas now left fuming, moving toward Glenn to swing at him to defend his friend. As if I was going to let that happen.

In a few short strides, I quickly tackled the man before he was successful, the two of us collapsing onto the pavement. A look of shock crossed his face as he saw me hovering above him, trying to shove me off in a fit of frustration before resulting to wrapping his hands around my throat, squeezing as hard as he could.

A wave of panic coursed through me at the familiar situation I found myself in, but it left just as quickly as it arrived. I snapped back into reality the moment I felt the air leaving my lungs, moving my leg higher to jam my knee harshly into his throat so his grip would loosen. He coughed and sputtered as his hands seemed to faulter on instinct, giving me the chance to remove his grip and hold both his hands high above his head while I kept my knee in place.

My heartbeat thumped loudly in my hears all while hearing the commotion of the people gathered around elsewhere, but that didn't make me want to stop. Not when this asshole had his hands around my throat only seconds ago.

It was then a pair of arms wrapped around me almost abruptly, pulling me out of my daze. "Let's not do this now." Rick's voice muttered close by my ear. When the fuck did he get here?

But I didn't respond, nor did I budge as I watched Nicholas's face get redder at the lack of oxygen, and my grip only tightened on his wrists. A man I barely knew tried to choke me out over a small disagreement, I wasn't going to stop without a fight. These entitled, sheltered people needed to be put in their place.

"Rose." Rick said sternly, suddenly grabbing me by my arms to finally tug me off of the man, pulling me back away from him.

I quickly shrugged his hands off of me, looking up in time to see Noah and Tara struggling to hold Daryl in place as he was practically seething. "You think yer tough puttin yer hands on a woman? Huh?!" he shouted, shoving the two away from him as if to try and get closer to Nicholas. Who now looked like he regretted even looking in my direction.

"Hey, hey! Enough!" Rick yelled, getting in between the two and pushing Daryl away before he got the chance to do anything just as stupid as I did.

Adrenaline was pumping through my entire body, causing my hands to shake, faced with the eyes of the people who had judged us the moment we walked in. Our reputation was clearly not holding up well. But my attention didn't remain on them for long before I felt Daryl making a beeline over toward me, his hands grasping my arms gently.

"Ya okay? Are ya hurt?" he whispered with panic lacing his voice.

I nodded my head, "I'm okay- I'm fine, I promise."

He didn't look too convinced, but Deanna's voice cutting through the air tore both of our attention away. "I want everyone to hear me!" she yelled to the large group of individuals, "Rick and his people are a part of this community now, in all ways! As equals! Understood?" she asked, looking straight at Aiden.

"...Understood." he repeated, an almost cocky smile brightening his face.

"All of you turn in your weapons, then you two, come talk to me." she demanded, gesturing to the men that started this whole thing.

The crowd of people then slowly began to disperse, my eyes following Glenn's frame as he attempted to move past me, but I gently grabbed his arm to stop him. Trying to come up with something to say. "We'll talk." he reassured before I could utter a thing, giving my shoulder a squeeze before swiftly maneuvering away from the scene.

I too wanted to squirm away from the awkwardness that remained, but judging by the look on Deanna's face, that apparently wasn't an option. Though she didn't look angry. More disappointed that the peace she had worked so hard to build towards, was now crushed in an instant. All because her son couldn't play nice with others.

Her gaze stayed on Rick, folding her hands in front of her, "I told you I had a job for you... I'd like you to be our constable. That's what you were...that's what you are." she announced before looking towards Michonne, "And you too."

The woman looked a bit shocked to be involved in this arrangement, but clearly she didn't mind. She almost looked happy to have something so important. But what shocked me the most was seeing Deanna's eyes then panning over directly to me. "And last, but certainly not least." she hinted.

I could feel Daryl tense from beside me, clearly sensing that he didn't love the idea. While I on the other hand was left incredibly confused at the sudden responsibly of securing this place. I will admit, I was good at my job before. But she didn't know that. She didn't know anything about me even though she claimed to numerous times. I somehow even convinced myself that I might be on baking duty right along with Carol, but clearly, I was very wrong about that.

"Will you accept?" she asked the three of us.

Rick looked hesitant for a moment before slowly nodding his head, "Okay..."

Michonne let a ghost of a smile play across her lips, "Yeah, I'm in."

And then all eyes turned to me.

If I was being completely honest, I almost wanted to decline. To ask for something more suitable for me now. Being a cop wasn't who I was anymore, and I felt I didn't want to go back to that old life. But then again, I couldn't really see myself doing anything else. Though this place didn't seem like the type of setting where I yearned to stay, especially if the new people were just as entitled as Adien and Nicholas just behaved moments ago. I had to give some kind of answer; however, I was left conflicted.

"I don't know." I said honestly, "Can I think about it?"

"Of course." she said instantly, "Take all the time you need...and thank you."

My expression morphed into confusion, "For what?"

"For knocking him on his ass...and then some." she replied.

Daryl stepped forward, "She shouldn't have ta do that round here, got hands wrapped round her throat in the process." he said harshly. "You said this place was safe? Control yer damn people."

The woman looked slightly taken aback at his tone, and I found myself placing a hand on his shoulder to pull him back a bit, not wanting him to completely take the woman's head off for something that wasn't her fault. Luckily he didn't push it despite how angry he still was, instead wordlessly tugging me back toward the house. And I let him. I didn't even want to think about Deanna's offer right now, or what happened just moments ago. This was apparently going to be more difficult than I thought.

By nighttime, it was peaceful. The darkness made our surroundings seem calmer than before; even though behind closed doors, it was far from calm. After word had spread about the encounter, the group remained hesitant about whether or not we could settle here. But Daryl was especially skeptical.

When we got back to the house he was fuming and paced around the living room about fifty times if I counted correctly, telling me over and over again how he didn't want to stay somewhere where I wouldn't be safe. I tried to reassure him that everything would be fine, that things would calm down and we would learn to live with the others. But honestly, I didn't know if I believed that myself. I just wanted him to calm down for the time being.

The bottom line was, what happened today really threw everyone for a loop. And we were apparently smart to second guess this community from the very beginning.

A chill that ran through the air made me shiver a bit as the night grew colder than the day, wrapping my arms around myself as the porch swing creaked slightly beneath me. Daryl glanced over when he sensed my movement, stubbing out the cigarette he was smoking to come over and sit beside me with a small huff.

His arm wrapped protectively around my shoulders, no doubt feeling the goosebumps rise on my bare arms, "Ya cold?" he asked softly.

I nodded, "A little."

He moved away from me slightly to shrug off his angel winged vest, handing it over to put around me instead, but it made me want to roll my eyes. "Your sleeveless bullshit isn't going to keep me warm." I joked as I shrugged it on anyway.

He scoffed, "Yer the one that got me that sleeveless bullshit." he pointed out, "I never heard ya complain bout it before."

"Yeah well, that's because I like to see your arms." I winked which only earned another scoff from him, though I managed to see the slight redness creeping up the back of his neck in embarrassment.

The front door squeaking open is what brought our eyes up toward the entrance, seeing Rick coming out of the house in his new police uniform he had received from Deanna. I hummed as I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to keep myself from smiling smugly at his appearance.

"Well?" he asked with raised hands.

I tilted my head to the side, "Hm...I don't know. Give us a spin." I said as I gently nudged Daryl's side.

He sighed and turned around slowly so we could see every angle possible, and I nodded to myself, "Yeah, I think I made up my mind. I don't think I want to look as ridiculous as you do right now."

Daryl snorted lightly while Rick's face only seemed to drop, "Seriously?"

"Oh my God, you look fine. I'm just pulling your leg." I reassured.

He let out a small sigh, nodding a bit in appreciation before looking at me for a moment. Contemplating. "Are we, uh...are we good?" he questioned hesitantly.

I squinted my eyes at him, "Yeah, we're good...but that doesn't mean I don't think you should've let me take care of that asshole."

"Nah," Daryl muttered, "I got plans for 'im."

Rick shook his head, "Believe me, I want that just as much as you do." he said as he approached us further, "But it was something that crowd did not need to see from us."

We all just nodded our heads in silent agreement, knowing he had a point now that the neighborhood had formed some kind of opinion about us. Regardless of who was right or wrong. The door creaking again broke the silence that settled, Carol stepping outside to face us while folding her arms around her middle at the sudden coldness.

"Are we staying?" she asked seriously, not wasting any time.

"I think we can start sleeping in our own homes...settle in." Rick said.

Carol shook her head, "If we get comfortable in here, we let our guard down. This place could make us weak."

He nodded, "I know, believe me I do. Carl was worrying about that too."

"He was?" I asked.

Rick looked over at me and nodded again, "But it's not gonna happen...we won't get weak, that's not in us anymore." he said, walking over to look at the houses before us. "We'll make it work," he continued, "And if they can't make it...then we'll just take this place."

My eyes found Daryl's just as Rick's words echoed around us like a silent vow. I read his expression intently, only to find that he seemed to be agreeing with Rick's plan just as much as I was. And along with Carol's high opinions as well, we knew she wouldn't have a problem with what was settled. It went without saying that this would only stay between us, and whatever happens, happens.

A heavy breath left my lips the longer I pondered our situation. Apparently, this was going to be a lot more difficult than I thought.

~ Thanks for reading! (Also please don't kill me, I promise a smut scene is coming! This chapter just became wayyy too long)

Taglist ~ @justareader95 @hayley1998 @ryoujoking @sipsthecoffee @winterassassin1804 @marsmallow433 @catlalice @writingstreetspirit @silentlysurffering98 @mystictf @remuslittlesister

[springseasonie]

Overtime | KDY (M)

Ceo Doyoung x Secretary fem reader

Summary: You and Doyoung stay late at the office and have a long extensive conversation about life, work, and other things. Doyoung's life motto is never mix personal life with work, but his mini crush on his secretary becomes bigger than life all on this night.

Warnings: sexual content, age gap (legal!!! doyoung is older), oral (fem receiving), unprotected, pull out method, proofread (kinda, I'm tired)

Word count: 5,7k

Song recs: thinkin bout you by Katie

A/N: took longer than I expected with this one. I've been in a writing slump for the past week so I'm sorry if this sucks. The smutty words don't come out the same as they used to lmao. Feedback is loved and appreciated 🫶🏾

You would've never taken this job if you knew your boss would be this hot.

Applying for the secretary position at a world famous company was not in your plan after college, but it just happened. You especially didn't expect to get hired. Now you've been working for 2 years and can't say that you would choose anything else, especially when you get to work so close to eye candy every day.

Kim Doyoung. He's the youngest successful single man in Seoul at 38 years old. No, he's not old, but he is way older than you in most people's standards. You never really had a thing for older men, but when you met Doyoung, you could say opposites attract. You would always try and hide your staring, sometimes he would catch you. He knows he is handsome, he's been told many times, but you're the only person who has ever worked for him that has never kissed his ass no matter how attractive you found him. He enjoyed having you around, having someone who wasn't a yes man.

Instead of going home, you were sitting at your desk finishing something you should've some ages ago. You were a huge procrastinator and he knew this. At first, it was something he hated about you. All of his other secretaries were very punctual while you did things late. However, you were way more detailed in your work, way more careful with his needs and schedule so he let it go.

"Why do I do this to myself," you groaned. You finished the last couple of words on the screen, aggressively pushing the period key with a sigh. "And all done." Now all you had to do was print the paper and leave it on Doyoung's desk for the morning. You pressed the tiny print pop up, watching the machine pump the papers out the front. Once it was done, you stapled them together.

Standing, you walk from around your desk and towards Doyoung's office. The sound of your heels filled the silent dimly lit hall, making you hum in delight. Although you hated staying to work late, you couldn't deny the atmosphere of an empty office. How peaceful it was, how strangely free you felt. Reaching Doyoung's office you noticed the door was left slightly ajar.

"Weird," you say to yourself. "He always leaves it shut." You walk in looking at your feet not expecting to hear anything.

"Oh you're here too?"

You jump, startled at the voice of your boss, looking up as you looked at his figure being lit up by his lamp. Blinking rapidly trying to regain your composure, you clear your throat shaking off your very clean dress. "M-Mr. Kim you surprised me," you say, a relaxed attitude faltering.

Doyoung watched you straighten your back, chuckling to himself as he stood up from his desk. "Relax, you don't need to be so formal. It's just you and me here."

You try to loosen up a bit, but he makes you so nervous especially when you're alone with him. You find him to be very intimidating. From how he speaks to how he dresses to even his favorite foods - Doyoung is a super classy man, way different from you. You gulp, placing the papers on his desk. "Here is the report for all the departments from this week. There were some last minute changes so…yeah."

Doyoung picks up the packet, flipping through the pages as you stand there with your hands folded in front of you. The room was silent, just the sound of him flipping rh pages was heard. You were in his office often, but never this late. Your eyes shifted around the room, taking in your surroundings. It was a cozy space, city lights in the big windows, every shelf stacked with something work related or some random object.

Doyoung had a picture of his family on one of the bookshelves, a picture of himself in his early teens with his parents and older brother. He hates that picture, always saying it reminded him of his hard life growing up. Doyoung didn't talk about his personal life much, his number one rule for all his employees and himself being don't let work and life mix. But working so closely with him has made you learn things about him he'd rather no one know, like how many times his mother has tried to set him up with some pretty rich woman or how many times his father needs meetings to berate his son.

Doyoung puts the papers down without a word. You started to turn on your heels, about to leave when he speaks up.

"Could you…stay for a bit," he says in a deep voice echoing in the quiet room. "I won't keep you long, just want a bit of company that's all."

You turn around with an awkward smile on your lips, clearing your throat. "Yeah sure, I don't mind."

Doyoung stood up from his seat, giving you a full view of his messy image. Tie loosened, shirt a bit unbuttoned - he was so attractive it pained you. He walked to the window behind him, leaning on the glass as he stared out at the huge city below the both of you. "You don't have to stand all the way over there you know."

"Oh.. right." You walked over to him, standing a distance away as you looked out the window.

"It's pretty right," he said, glancing at you. "I love this view at night."

"Me too."

And right back to silence, but instead of it being stiff, it felt comfortable. Neither of you noticed the glances the both of you kept sneaking at each other. But for a while you stopped looking at him and just leaned on the window taking in the pretty scenery. Doyoung looked at you, tracing your face with his eyes. He always thought you were pretty, knowing that he would probably ask you out if you weren't working under him. He still thinks about the first day he met you. You were a complete mess, just graduated and working 2 jobs to keep yourself afloat at the time he interviewed you. It was obvious you lived off coffee, eye bags couldn't even be hidden under your makeup. Now you're doing good for yourself. You seem happier, less stressed, and have really grown into your age.

Doyoung hates how much older he is than you. Not many girls your age would be into someone near their 40s in his mind, so for a while including now he pushed the thought to the back of his mind.

"So," he finally spoke up. "How was your day?"

"Oh, uh, well," you laughed awkwardly. "It was okay. I did what I usually do."

"Sit there and drink coffee," he joked, making both of you laugh.

"I do…other things," you said between giggles. "How was your day?"

"You already know that information," he said, letting out a deep sigh. Doyoung had a hard day, dealing with unreasonable clients and frustrating employees. You know how stressed he is all the time and you feel bad for him.

You wanted to say something but you didn't. You had no idea what to say to make him feel a bit happier. You were only his secretary after all, there's not much you can say without crossing lines, but that's what he likes about you. Sometimes you were so oblivious as to what was acceptable to say and what wasn't. You never dared to overstep boundaries, but it just happened.

"Do you ever feel like there's something in your life that's missing," he asked suddenly.

You look over to him, his face hard in concentration as he stares at the city lights. "What do you mean?"

"Like…you're doing something not because you enjoy it, but because it keeps you alive," he explains. You and Doyoung feel the air around the both of you become heavy with the sudden change in topic. Doyoung never had these kinds of conversations with you in the 2 years you've been working with him. In fact, he's never vulnerable with anyone about anything, not even the people he considered close friends.

"Well," you started slowly. "I do feel that way."

He turns to you, watching how your eyes shine in the light. "Was it when you started working for me?"

You glanced at him, giving him a small laugh. "Do you want the honest answer?"

"I want whatever answer will help me through this dilemma,* he sighs, pushing his hair back.

"I know you don't know a lot about me." You begin to relax as you start talking, leaning on the window. "I wanted to be an artist for a while. I grew up drawing, painting, the whole lot of stuff. My parents thought it was just a hobby and they were right for a while because then I fell in love with writing."

"Is that why you got a journalism degree," he interrupted.

"Yeah…that's right," you laugh softly. "Did I tell you this story before?"

"No I just…" Doyoung stopped talking seeing your playful smile, heat flying to his ears making them red. You were so pretty to him, especially in this light. "Sorry, you can continue."

"It's okay," you chuckle softly. "Anyway, I loved telling stories and wrote things in private all the time, but storybooks weren't going to pay the bills so I had to take up informative writing. Fast forward to my third year and I start realizing how much I hate what I'm doing. My love for art comes back and I start drawing more than writing essays. That's when I realized I wanted to make comics."

Doyoung stands there with his arms crossed, trying so hard to pay attention to listen to you, but he couldn't get over how pretty your lips looked, How nice your voice sounded. His eyes traveled to your neck, his next thought immediately flying to how good you smell when you’re next to him. And your hands, goodness he loves your hands. They would brush against his sometimes, the thought of how soft they would feel on his-

"Mr. Kim?"

He blinked, head being pulled out of his inner thoughts by your voice. He couldn't believe he zoned out while you spoke. Doyoung gulped, realizing the kind of image his brain almost created. "Yes? I'm sorry I zoned out. I'm just a little tired."

You gave him a small laugh and understanding smiles, nodding at his words. "I understand, I'm tired too so I'll keep it short. Sometimes we will feel periods of emptiness in the things we do no matter if we love them or not. We just have to remember everything that makes it worth it, not matter what." You stopped talking when you felt Doyoung's eyes on you, boring into your soul.

"Do you feel like working here is worth it?"

There is a kind of tenderness in Doyoung's eyes that you don't get to see often. The last time you saw this look was when he was telling a memory of him and his brother when they were kids. "Yeah, I feel like it's worth it."

"Well I'm glad," he says, looking back out into the city. "For someone so young, I didn't expect you to have a lot of profound things to say."

"I'm not that young. And you aren't that old" you say, laughing at his expression. "Not to pry of course, but why do you feel like something is missing?" He remains quiet and his relaxed expression turns stern, a frown on his face almost immediately. You panicked thinking that you pushed too far past the line. "I'm sorry, you really don't have to answer Mr. Kim, I was just-"

"It's okay, you did nothing wrong," he said, trying to reassure you. "My mother makes me feel like a shit show because I'm not looking for anyone to marry."

You opened your mouth to speak, but stopped. This problem of his was completely beyond you. It's not a surprise that he's been avoiding his mother, their family issues all over the tabloids. you wish you could be some sort of support system for him, but you know you can't get that close to him.

"You don't have to say anything. I know you have nothing to say."

"Yeah, I'm sorry," you mumbled. "I know things have been rough with you and your mom these days."

Doyoung blinked and looked over to you. His lips parted, tongue darting out slowly against his lips, wetting them before speaking."You know you're the only person to talk to me like a regular guy?"

You whip your head to him, gulping at his words. "Oh, i must've gotten too comfortable Mr. Kim-"

"I like that you talk to me like a regular person," he chuckled.

You give him a soft laugh, shaking your head. The way doyoung looks at you makes you feel something you shouldn't feel for your boss. But his eyes are piercing, full of emotion and it makes you fall deeper into him. You didn't want to ruin the mood, but you would feel bad if you didn't tell him what happened earlier that day. "Mr. Kim….your mother called the office."

Doyoung sighed, running his face in his hand. "What did she say?"

"Something about," you started hesitantly. "You blocking her number, not going to events, not dating…"

"That old lady always has something to complain about," he sighed. "Thank you for telling me."

You nodded, pressing your lips into a thin line to keep silent. But sometimes you just speak and say things you probably shouldn't, because the way doyoung looks at you for your next sentence makes you want to crawl into a dark corner.

"Well, dating shouldn't be hard for you," you said.

He raised a brow, a smirk pulling on his lips slowly. "What do you mean?"

"W-well I mean you're…" you paused, eyeing him up and down awkwardly.

"I'm…?"

"You're you," you said a bit more enthusiastically than you wanted to. "Well what I wanted to say was that you're rich, handsome…."

"Is that it? Just rich and handsome," he joked, but you didn't take it as a joke. You already overstepped the boundaries multiple times in the last 30 minutes, this could probably be the only moment to save your job.

"N-no! You're funny and honest, fun to talk to. And even though you have this rough guy thing going on, I think you're a pretty soft guy," you said, lips moving 40 miles per hour.

He gave you a chuckle, one that sounded genuine and warm which surprised you. "Ms. Y/n, are you flirting with me right now?"

You blinked rapidly, shaking your head and hands silently as you panicked, making the male laugh. You said no, but he was secretly hoping that you were. He wanted to know if you were as attracted to him as he was to you. He couldn't help himself.

"You're not too bad yourself," he said, turning back to the window.

"Thank you…. you're too nice, but you don't really mean that."

"No, I'm serious," he continued. "You're cool and fun, not too serious but can be serious when you need to be."

Your face was beginning to get hot, fingers gittering at your sides. You couldn't even look at him, afraid you would probably go crazy. You really hoped he would stop talking, but he didn't. It stressed you out.

"Not to mention, you're beautiful."

You gave him a small laugh, trying to cover up the very obvious mental breakdown you were about to have. "Mr.Kim please-"

"You're beautiful. You have the best laugh and the prettiest smile." doyoung was slowly walking towards you, making your body stiffen as he came closer. His gaze was hungry, not able to suppress his desires for you any longer. It was terrible of him, he knew it, he was your boss and practically preying on you at the moment. He was doing something he hated, but he knew you wanted it too.

Doyoung was so close to you, body looking over yours as he stared down at your flustered face. "Mr.Kim-"

"Call me Doyoung."

"But I can't-"

"Yes you can." He spoke so quietly and softly, eyes flickering from yours to your lips. "I wanna hear you say it so I can say I love the way you say my name too."

You were quickly falling under whatever spell he was starting to put you under as he spoke. Your lids dropped, breathing heavily as his hands left his sides and made their way to your waist. "D-Doyoung," you said breathlessly, heart beating faster in his grasp.

He nodded slightly, a smile curling on his lips as he pulled your body closer to his, pressing his chest against yours. "Again."

You gulp, shaking your head as you remove his hands from your waist. "I…we can't do this. I-I'm your secretary."

"Secretary who I like very much." You make it so hard for him to not want to push your buttons a little more. Was doyoung really about to risk everything he built up just to kiss you? Yes, yes he was. Not one of his smartest decisions, but he trusted you. "I liked you for a very long time, you know."

"Really," you ask, brows scrunching slightly.

"Mhm." Doyoung put his hands back on your waist, the adoration in his eyes turning to lust. "I'm doing this against my better judgment, and you know how much I cherish my judgment."

Before you knew it, your eyes fluttered shut and you were the one kissing him instead. Your lips melted into his, hands moving to his shoulder as you pulled him closer. Doyoung kisses you back softly, moving his hands under your blazer squeezing your waist. He felt how raged your breathing was, your heartbeat speeding up as he fondled your body in his hands.

You pulled away, refusing to look at him. He knew you liked him as much as he liked you - it was obvious by the smirk on his face. It was only supposed to be a kiss and end there, but your mind drifted to a place it wasn't supposed to go.

"I need to go home," you said, letting out a sigh.

"No you don't," he protested softly. "I know you don't want to either."

"Mr. Kim-"

"Doyoung," he said. "I want you to call me by name."

"Doyoung," you started, making him smile. "What are you trying to do right now? I mean, we are attracted to each other but this.. what will people think?"

"People won't know unless we tell them," he says nonchalantly. "Besides, I own the entire building you're standing in right now. Whatever I say goes, and I'll never let anyone hurt you."

You looked up at him, worry still painting your face, but you nodded anyway. "Okay, I trust you."

"Good. You should always trust me." He cupped your face softly, kissing you deeply. You kissed him back, lips molding with his just like how you imagined. You wanted to take advantage of this moment while you had it, so you took your hands off his shoulders taking your blazer off. Letting the jacket fall to the floor, you reached back to Doyoung's chest, pulling his tie off him and placing it on his desk.

"I wanna take care of you," he said quietly. "Would you let me do that?"

"Yes." Your answer came out as a whisper as you unbuttoned the rest of his shirt. Doyoung watched you with a hazy expression. your concentrated desperate appearance was doing something to him, he just wanted to fuck you against the window make you cry out his name. He thought it was too cute how your hands were trembling as you unbuttoned his shirt. The only time he sees you this nervous is when he reprimands you for something you may do wrong.

Doyoung slowly starts to pull your tucked blouse out your pencil skirt, making your breath hitch in your throat. "Is this okay with you?"

You nod, removing your hands from his shirt to allow him to pull the fabric off of you. Doyoung marveled at your body. He felt guilty knowing how many times he's fantasized about this moment, the thought of touching you on his mind heavy sometimes. But the guilt went away when he made contact with your skin. Doyoung pulled you closer to him, kissing you as his hands slowly went up your body. He groped you not too roughly to make you flustered, but just enough to enjoy your small gasp. His hand squeezed and massaged your left breast.

"Should I take it off," you mumble as he plays with the lace on your bra. You wait for an answer, but his eyes and hand are too focused on the lace, the only thing going through his head was how pretty the color looked against your skin.

"No," he said, shaking his head. You watched him unbutton and unzip the side of your skirt, cock twitching his pants from excitement. "Let me help you relieve some of your stress from today. I wanna taste you Y/N."

"Can you," you said breathlessly, begging, making him smile too. He tugged your skirt down your legs, fabric bunching around your heels.

"Get on the desk." Doyoung watches you hop on his perfectly organized desk, spreading your legs almost immediately. Your eyes widened at how fast he dropped to the floor, his actions making you even more wet than before.

“I thought about this alot Mr. Kim,” you admitted, eyes glossed from how turned on you were. "I fucking dreamed about this."

"Oh yeah?" Doyoung's entire shirt was off by this point, the expensive fabric laying, somewhere on the floor. His soft hands made their way up your legs, leaning into your inner thighs. He kisses the soft spot of your thighs, making your body shudder sensitively. Doyoung hooked his fingers around your panties, tugging at them to pull the fabric off. You lifted your hips, allowing him to pull them down your legs and off your ankles swiftly.

Doyoung couldn't take his eyes off the sight between your legs. You were glistening, so wet it got on his desk. "Fuck.. you're so pretty baby."

"Don't stare." You started to close your legs, but doyoung forced them back apart, leaning into the closer. You could feel his heavy breathing on your wet core as he kissed your inner thighs.

"Don't get all shy on me now." He placed a soft kiss on your clit, eyes never leaving your face. You let out a soft sigh when he licked your core softly, collecting your arousal on his tongue. Doyoung licks at your clit softly, adding pressure with every other movement. He always thought about what you would sound like, if you were loud or silent, but your soft moans at the moment were prettier than ever. Doyoung sucked your clit softly, making you throw your head back slightly.

"You like that?" Doyoung did it again, smirking to himself when you scrunch your brows.

"Yeah," you sigh, nodding. Doyoung continues to eat you out, your hands tangling in his hair as he licks at you feverishly. His tongue flicked your clit fast, making you tug his hair a bit. "If you do that I'll cum fast," you moaned softly.

He chuckled softly, sucking your clit harshly right after.

"D-Doyoung oh my god," you whimpered, legs starting to come together. He swiftly pushed them apart, allowing you to tug his face closer to your core. Doyoung watched you with a hazy expression as you grinded on his face, hands gripping your thighs. He flattened his tongue against you, letting you grind your core. Your arousal was all over his mouth, his nose constantly nudging your clit every time you moved. Even in the dark in his office he could still see the look of absolute pleasure on your face, taking in the desperation to cum in your eyes and the way your hand trembled on the back of his head.

"I'm so close Doie," you whined softly, making the man below your chuckle softly.

"Doie?"

You paused, looking down at him with sudden alertness. "I'm sorry, if you don't like it, I-"

"No, I love it." He attached his mouth back to your core, sucking and licking at you. "I love it so fucking much."

You threw your head back, brows scrunching as the pleasure continued to build in your stomach. Your moans built higher in pitch, noises so loud the janitors on the floor below could probably hear you. Doyoung moans on your core, the vibrations on your clit driving you mad.

"Cum babygirl, cum for me."

You let go, cumming on his tongue, his lips, his face. Doyoung didn't let up though, still licking up all your release as your legs shook, trying to clamp around his head from the over stimulation. You whined loudly, the feeling of his nose nudging against your sensitive clit making you tear up. After a couple more seconds of overstimulation, Doyoung stopped, looking up at you with the most fucked out expression you've ever seen from anyone.

"Fuck," you laughed softly, "we can add head to list of things I like about you."

"Trust me I can do a lot more than just that." He rose to his feet, immediately pulling you closer to him in a heated kiss. You moaned softly, tasting yourself on his lips and tongue.

"Yeah?" You smiled against his lips, adding tongue into the kiss as you cupped his face softly. You gasp softly as you part your lips from his, looking down at his hand that was now between your legs, fingers rubbing your clit slowly.

"God you're so cute," he chuckled softly. "Cute face, cute tits, cute moans, cute pussy." His deep voice rang through your ears, adding pleasure already soaring through your body. Doyoung kissed your neck, nipping at the skin playfully as he sped up his fingers. He pulled your breast out of the fabric of your bra, enjoying the way you hid your face in his neck at your exposed state. "I'm gonna fuck this cute pussy. How does that sound?"

"Please fuck me," you whined breathlessly, brows furrowing as his mouth attached to your nipple. "I need you so bad, Doie."

Doyoung lifted himself off your body, watching you waste no time in trying to undo his belt. Your fingers fumbled, nails getting in the way of getting it off easily. Doyoung smiled to himself as you struggled, tears pricking the corners of your eyes in frustration. "Calm down, I'm not going anywhere, pretty girl," he said soothingly. He gently removed your hands from his belt, undoing it himself.

Your mouth watered, gulping as you watched him unzip his pants. Doyoung loved watching your reactions, purposely taking his time in front of your impatient disposition. He slowly pulled himself out his pants and boxers, his tip leaking precum as it hit his navel.

You jumped off the desk, running your hands down his chest as you kissed him deeply, biting his lip softly. "Need you to fuck me real good Mr. Kim," you mumbled against his lips.

"Bend over." You did as he said, holding your body up with your arms. You looked so cute to him, checking behind yourself to see when he was going to stretch you wide. You shook your hips, whining softly to him.

"Hurry," you whined. "Need you to fill me so bad."

He chuckled darkly, not bothering to grab a condom out of his wallet before he lined himself at your entrance. He rubbed his leaking tip against your clit, making you moan softly. "fuck."

"You're so wet Y/N," he muttered, marveling at the state between your legs.

"All for you." You wiggled your hips trying to create more friction, but Doyoung took the extra step of lining himself with your core. Doyoung pushed himself into you slowly with a low groan. You were almost immediately overtaken by pleasure, eyes rolling back at the feeling of him stretching you out. He thrusted into you slowly, holding your hips with a tight grip on them.

"You feel so good, shit." He kept thrusting in you, your soft moans and whimpers permeating the air around you. You hadn't even realized that you were bouncing back onto him at the same time until he stopped, wrapping a hand around your neck as he whispered in your ear. "Keep fucking yourself on my cock princess. You're doing such a good job, making your boss happy."

"Y-yes Doie, i'll make you happy," you said in a choked moan as he squeezed your neck.

"Good girl," he murmured. He let go of your neck, looking down to watch you desperately move against him. He smacked your ass firmly as you started going faster, making you halt your movements. "Did I tell you to go faster?"

"N-no," you whined softly.

He grabbed your hair, pulling it as he started fucking you slow. Deep slow strokes made you whine loudly, cunt fluttering around him. You needed to cum, you wanted to cum so badly. You need him to fuck you hard and fast, but the painfully slow pace he had going was driving you insane.

"Faster Doyoung. Please," you cried out, but all he did was let out a deep laugh.

"Pretty little thing," he mumbled. Doyoung began thrusting in you hard and fast, making your jaw drop in pleasure as you arched your back to feel him more. "You like having a older man's cock in you?"

"Yes yes, I love it Doie," you whimpered weakly. Suddenly he pulled out of you m, leaving you with the feeling of emptiness, but not for long. He turned you around, manhandling you as he lifted you by your hips, placing you on the desk. Doyoung forced you legs open, pushing himself back into you without warning.

"Fuck," he groaned through gritted teeth. Doyoung watched you, scanning your body as you laid on the desk. He lifted your legs, pushing them to your chest as he fucked you at the same pace as before. He loved the faces and noises you made, couldnt take his eyes off you. The both of you never thought you would have this much chemistry, but everything feels perfect. Doyoung is fucking you like he's been doing it for years already, your body melting into his perfectly.

You reached down, rubbing your clit to reach your high. "Keep touching yourself, just like that baby," he groaned. The grip he has on your legs got tighter as he kept going, feeling himself closer and closer to cumming.

"I'm gonna cum Doyoung," you panted, rubbing you clit harder.

Doyoung's brows furrowed at the sensation of you squeezing around him, moaning softly. "Cum baby, cum for me. Cum all over my cock." His words were jumbled, slurred from all the pleasure he was taking. Doyoung moaned loudly, the feeling of you squeezing and cumming on his cock shooting through his body. Your body tensed beneath his, legs shaking as you whimpered his name over and over while cumming hard. Your lips were suddenly captured with his as he leaned down kissing your messily.

"I'm gonna cum Y/N, shit," he said on your mouth. Doyoung kept thrusting in you, making your eyes roll back form the sensitivity.

"Oh my god," you cried. Doyoung's movements became more erratic as he came closer and closer. Soon enough, doyoung was pulling out of you, cumming on your stomach, some ropes of white shooting to your chest.

Nothing but the sounds of deep breathes filled the air, the smell of sex all over the room. Your eyes were closed, so you didn't see Doyoung looking at you as if he saw an angel. He let go of your legs, wrapping an arm around the small of your back as he weakly lifted you into a seated position.

"That was…"

"Something," he finished with a small laugh. You looked at him, giving him a small smile as you sat trying to catch your breath.

"It's pretty late now I bet," he said, brushing his damp bangs back. Doyoung looked at you, then at your very naked state, covered in his cum. "Fuck, I'm sorry."

You didn't say anything, just looked at him with a tired smile. "Thank you for not cumming inside me at least."

"Why? You don't want my kid," he joked, grabbing tissues off his shelf. Doyoung handed you some tissues, letting you clean your self off as he fixed himself up.

"I'm 24. I'm not ready for kids," you laughed. You paused, looking at him through your lashes as he fastened his belt. "But I am ready for a relationship."

He smiled picking up his shirt from the floor. "Yeah?"

"Mhm," you answered.

"Well…that can be arranged," he said, fingers fumbling with his buttons. You moved his hands, looking at him as you buttoned his shirt, smirk tugging at your lips. "But are you serious about this? You're young, and I don't want you to feel obligated because you work for me."

"I don't feel obligated at all," you said calmly, carefully getting off the desk, your heels clicking with the floor. "I always liked you, and it obvious you liked me too."

He leaned against the floor to ceiling window crossing his arms as he watched you dress. Your small glances were making his heart race, something that hasn't happened since he was a teenager. He walked up to you, grabbing your hips as he kissed you deep, biting your lip softly.

"How do you usually get homw," he asked as he pulled away.

"An Uber."

"I'm I'm taking you home tonight okay," he said, making you nod. "Is that okay with you?"

"Anything you do is okay with me." Doyoung kissed your forehead, smiling to himself.

He never thought of himself as much as a lover, but maybe you'll pull it out of him. And he would love to see you try. All the years of trying to keep personal life and work separate gone to waste, but was it worth it? Hopefully, yes.

[andreal831]

I’m the same person who asked the question about Datherine and I wanted to ask similar one about Stelena: Do you think they could’ve worked out if l Damon weren’t in like, in the picture?

Hi! Welcome back <3

When I used to watch TVDU, I loved Stelena. As I've gotten older, I see how problematic the whole thing is. But they still kind of get me because of nostalgia.

I really do think they would have worked if not for Damon. Elena's attraction to Damon always felt forced to me. She was so caught up in the whirlwind romance of Stefan and then they settled into this very calm, happy place. Even with all of the chaos around them, they found peace in each other. Elena and Stefan were so happy in their relationship, the show had to force them apart physically to wedge Damon in there. They even had to use the sirebond to force Damon in the way more.

The only thing I felt was truly unhealthy in their relationship was the age gap. Even him originally wanting to get to know her to see if she was Katherine didn't totally bother me because of how he felt about Katherine. Damon seeing her and thinking she was Katherine made him think he was seeing his first love. Stefan hated Katherine when he saw Elena. He didn't pursue it out of some lost love. He fell for Elena as her own person.

Now granted, Elena was in high school and those relationships usually don't last, but this is a show about vampires and magical babies, so I think we can suspend reality on that.

I love Steroline, but feel like Caroline didn't necessarily want the same things as Stefan. They just kind of forced motherhood on her. She wanted a career and to travel. She would have loved to go off with Tyler and discover the world. Just like Damon didn't have similar wants to Elena. Wanting the same things in life is very important in a relationship. Compromising will only cause both of them to be unhappy no matter how much they love each other.

An important aspect I really liked about Stelena and felt would make them last is how much respect they had for each other. Stefan would always let Elena make her own choices, even if he didn't agree. And Elena was always there to fight for him. I know some people don't like how he handled the transition, but that's usually from people who just wanted Delena to happen. Elena never wanted to harm anyone and never wanted to be a vampire. Stefan understood that and tried to help her live with what she was. They both just wanted the best for each other.

Stefan helped Elena find joy in life again. Season 1 Stelena was so happy. They would have found this happiness again if Damon and Klaus stopped interfering. The visions they saw from the Travelers felt really organic to me. They both wanted the same things. They wanted family and humanity. Stefan taking the cure made more sense than Damon. Damon loved being a vampire and Stefan hated it, plus had trouble controlling it. I could very easily see them settling in Mystic Falls. Her being a doctor and Stefan going to school to discover what he wanted from his life. They would have had kids and would have created a loving home.

Thanks for the ask!

[themedievalpoet]

If Mordred and Freya grew up in the same Druid camp.

There was a moment of weakness. The two were in the tavern. Merlin was telling Mordred about the Druid girl he had once saved and protected. . . Well, he tried to, anyway. Her life slipped through his fingers and he blamed himself. It wasn't usual for Merlin to chug back the alcohol like this and certainly not to be so vulnerable around people, especially not around Mordred. But Mordred was the only one who could know, being a Druid and a magic user, and on nights like these, the feelings he had pressed down came spilling out of his heart.

While Merlin sobbed incoherently over this girl, Mordred tried to put the pieces together. Merlin told him that this was a Druid girl, who was captured, because she was dangerous. But she wasn't dangerous at all, she was kind and loving and compassionate, and lonely. Though Mordred had a hard time deciphering the words between Merlin's hiccups, he did know one person that could match this description.

"Was her name Freya, by any chance?"

The look on Merlin's face at the mention of her name. . . His eyes widened, his jaw dropped, and he teared up. "How do you know that?"

Mordred smiled, but only in sadness. "She lived in the same camp as I. Her parents were kind people and took care of all the children. Freya was as kind as her parents and took care of all those who were younger than her. She sang melodies that I can no longer remember the sound of, only that she sang them with passion and love. I've always seen her as an older sister. The day her parents passed away, we were all grieving. Us children the most."

Merlin looked at him. "Why did you cast her away?" he asked. "It wasn't her fault."

The young knight frowned. "I was just a child," he said. "The other children and I wanted her to stay, no matter what form she took. But the adults thought it was best for her to leave and never return. He said we were all in danger if she was around."

There was a brief pause. "I asked Freya what happened. A man attacked her while she was gathering herbs in the woods, so she defended herself. His mother found her and cursed her. It was horrible to hear. None of this was her fault."

He shifted in his seat. "Freya's magic is strong, but her heart is delicate. She wouldn't want to use her powers when every night she is forced to. . ." Mordred shook his head and stopped there. "I was afraid I might never see or hear from her again. But thanks to you, I know that she passed in peace."

"In peace?" Merlin wiped away his tears.

"In peace," Mordred repeated. "You've shown her compassion. You've shown her what love is. I'm happy she could feel loved in her last moments."

"You know Freya, you say?" Merlin asked, slurring his words. "How can I believe you? What if you're just making things up?" He was bitter, but how could he not, after all that had happened to him? "What was her favourite fruit? Do you know that?!"

Mordred scratched the back of his head. "I'm not lying to you about this," he said, "but I don't remember her favourite fruit. . . She always picked strawberries for us when we were little. But she also gave me apples, because I particularly liked those. I don't know. Maybe she just liked red fruit."

It was then and there that Merlin passed out, dropping his cup in the process. The tavernsmaid scolded Mordred for it, so Mordred quickly got off his seat and tried to carry Merlin out of the tavern, back to his room. He wasn't as heavy as Gwaine, thankfully, so carrying him was a lot less terrible. When he arrived, Gaius was sitting at the table.

"What is this?" he asked, surprised that Merlin would let himself be carried by Mordred out of all people. Gaius walked to them and helped Mordred put Merlin back in his room.

"I think he should rest," Mordred said. "Not only does the prophecy weigh heavy on his shoulders. . . He carries a heavy heart with him, too."

He gave Gaius a smile and walked towards the door. Right before he walked out, he stopped and turned to Gaius.

"I wish nothing for love to flourish the world," he said. "I wish for Emrys to feel the same kind of peace I feel when I am around him. I hope that one day, he can feel safe, and he can rest."

[tagthescullion]

I think who characters see when they see Melinoe, the goddess of ghosts, is very revealing. In canon so far it's just been Thalia and Nico (and Percy but he didn't have any ghosts in his past [at the time. Would things be different now?]). Thalia saw her mother, and I feel like that says a lot about her and Beryl's relationship. She hates her mother, she hasn't seen her since she was about nine, she didn't seem to care when she found out her mother died...but Beryl is still, apparently, a death that Thalia regrets. Meanwhile she appeared to Nico as his mother, although I'd think Bianca would be more likely. Maybe it's because at the time Nico had come to peace with Bianca's death? Although he didn't remember his mother at the time either...(although Melinoe herself would probably remember when her father's lover was killed by Zeus). Do you think Hazel would see her mother? Or that, before Thalia was resurrected, Luke and/or Annabeth would have seen her?

I love that little spin-off story to bits but I'm not sure I love that percy sees no ghosts.

so, by melinoe's own words “Everyone has ghosts — deaths you regret. Guilt. Fear.” that means whoever she shows you, is a death you somehow feel guilty about, or --presumably-- a ghost you'd be scared to see

I know percy's rather pragmatic in taking deaths with grim acceptance, but what if he saw gabe? he lets his mum deal with it but has he come to terms with what happened? he --at age 12-- gave his mum a weapon to kill a person, no matter how much that person deserved it, it's still a lot to process

on nico, I guess he's accepted bianca's death as not being his fault, whereas he's got no clue what happened to his mum, so that's a person he hasn't "rest in peace" yet, so to speak, regardless of how much he can't remembers her, and then melinoe tells him --before he knows the truth-- that maria "died of grief, wondering what had happened to [him] and [his] sister" (bitchy way to impose yourself as an older half-sister, but to each their own)

thalia, on the other hand, shouldn't regret her mother's death. she ran away bc her mum gave up jason, mistreated her her whole life, didn't search for her at all --rich and influential, beryl should've found her runaway kid in a second--, didn't care thalia had sort-of-but-not-quite died.. I get that thalia feels a lot of guilt: she does over leaving annabeth alone as a kid, over luke's turn to the dark side, and I understand her feeling guilty over "abandoning" her mum, but beryl doesn't deserve that guilt

I'd imagine hazel would either see her mother --who she both feels guilty about and fears bc marie could tell CJ the truth of hazel's death--, or she'd see sammy --who she could never say goodbye to, and she feels guilty of leaving in new orleans--

luke and annabeth would sooo see thalia, assuming melinoe can turn into spirits who haven't really died --I reckon she could, she seems to search in people's minds rather than actual ghosts--, what would melinoe-thalia tell them?? (new fic idea unlocked, but alas melinoe to me would be all the WIPs I've left there abandoned)

[wof-reworked]

ok I can't stop thinking about the jade winglet, here's my gender hcs for all of them

Moonwatcher - she/they (nonbinary)

I feel like this is fun bc rn (in canon) her gender is just "anxiety" but like,,, one day in the future she gets to actually play around with it

like she captures a very specific type of person I've met who you go "oh I mean I know she's gay but she's probably cis..." and then you have like one real convo and find out they're like not only nonbinary but better at it then you

I think she should get to be butch when she's older. I think she deserves being a) massive compared to her two twink boyfriends and b) gnc as shit

Kinkajou- any/all (genderfluid +transfem)

Kinkajou strikes me as being like. totally ambivalent to gender. Kinkajou changes her pronouns based on how the fruit he ate for breakfast makes him feel. Kinkajou is better than you

I think she was like staunchly using she/her for a while bc it just felt right and like changes pronouns situationally- Rainwing village is she/her, Jade Academy is any/all, close friends it varies, etc etc

Qibli- he/they (transmasc)

Qibli's just always kind of known who he is, and has been like. pretty contentedly in his corner for a while. I think it's like- a pillar of stability for him of like "at least I know I'm (x)"

Proximity to Moonwatcher puts the they/them in there bc I think it's nice when ppl get more comfortable so they start branching out a lil bit :> Qibli has like. guy who says "he/they" because he doesn't mind they/them and wants his friends to feel supported y'know

Winter- he/him (cis + gnc)

Look I feel bad making him one of like. two cis ppl at JMA but like I think it's funny if he's cis but inflicts a status effect of gender envy on every trans person in his proximity

guy who does makeup flawlessly because "it's fun" and decimates your sense of identity as you wonder why the fuck god gave these gifts to a man

extra funny for the fact that as a dragonet he gets offended by the implication he's pretty. he gets over it eventually I think

Turtle- she/her or he/she/they (transwoman/trans)

See here. Otherwise I think she's like trans and this could go in like. any fucking direction ngl

transmasc turtle??? hell yeah !!! transfem turtle??? hell yeah !!! gender is whatever Turtle has going on and god knows if she knows it

last egg to crack bc Turtle is immune to self reflection that isn't anxiety and self loathing

"Haha everyone hates how other people refer to them and their gender what do you mean? :)" (entire jade winglet: cringing with worry)

Umber- he/him (cis)

cis and a lil insecure about it but like. he's just nice :)

he's like experimented with pronouns and gender and found none of them really stuck so like. cis+. cis (extended dlc). you know what I mean I hope

gonna be honest I'm lost for him bc I genuinely forget he was there bc he peaced out so fast. justice for my boy I want to know more !!!!!

I could be persuaded for transman Umber ngl,,, it tempts me,,,,,,

Peril- she/her (trans woman)

On one hand I'm torn bc I think it almost doesn't make sense for her backstory BUT ON THE OTHER HAND the idea of Scarlet being supportive of Peril's identity and LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE is hysterical to me

though actually if we wanna get sad,,,, that 100% could be a manipulation tactic of Scarlet. "see I love you I even accept you" etc etc. now I just feel bad man

Peril's also in the same camp of Qibli of knowing this abt herself since she could think and being happy in it. She knows what she's about

BONUS:

Carnelian- she/they/he (transmasc)

Look butch can be a gender and sometimes you're a mean butch skywing idk what to tell you

wish she stayed alive bc her and Moon could've been legendary together. girl who will kill for you vs girl who desperately wants you to do anything else please we talked about this you can't solve your problems with murder

I think Carnelian's true gender is Skywing Patriot and idk how to put that in hc form but this is as best I've got

[rpmemecentral]

Sookie Stackhouse Series by Charlaine Harris Sentence Starters [Part 2]

“It's time to pull my moral socks up and behave myself.”

"I wish I could save orgasms in a jar for when i need them, because I think I had a few extra."

“It wasn't enough to be kidnapped, I had to be insulted too.”

“Fiction just makes it all more interesting. Truth is so boring.”

“Oh come on, they're funny. They're like humans but miniature…tea cup humans!"

“Life had sure been simpler when I didn't date.”

“Men are incomprehensible assholes."

“A piece of happiness should never be taken as due.”

“Self-pity is like chocolate; as you get older, you can only afford a little bit.”

“We might be on the same page, but I'm not happy about reading it.”

“You’re too unique to waste.”

“You just don't want a vampire pissed off at you.”

“Sometimes, instead of going down the road less taken, you just charge down the beaten path.”

“It was one of God's jokes that such a dumb mind had been put in such an eloquent body.”

“Bring it on, fur-ass!”

“There’s no way you can kill someone and get to the other side of the experience unchanged.”

“People don't change, but they can learn to behave differently.”

“And you are mine, and you will be mine. They will not get you."

“Once again, I have that feeling of drowning when I hadn’t even known I was in the pool”

"Appreciated women are happy women.”

“So, what, you just decided to sack out here and seduce me when I walked in the door?"

“And that's your fantasy? That I come into your house naked and have sex with you?"

“Life should imitate romance literature far more often.”

“It's hard not to respond when a master of the art of kissing is laying one on you.”

"Ladies are not responsible for the bad manners of fools.”

“You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.”

“No matter how we suffer, we have an obligation to others. We have to be unselfish enough to try to live in the right way, so others can get through their own lives without us fouling them up.”

“God bless the American spectator. ”

“Softie is not a word you could use in the same sentence as ___.”

“I never set out to be a one-night-stand kinda person. I want to be sure, if I have sex with you, that it's because you want to be around for a while and because you like me for who I am, not what I am."

“No blame, no hate - why no communication?”

"Lord save me from sarcastic vampires.”

“I held on to my better nature by my fingernails but I held on.”

“It was like being around a particularly irritating two-year-old.”

“There's not much I dislike more than being addressed as "Hey you" and being poked with a finger.”

“No matter what happens in public—no matter what—don’t doubt that I love you and care about your welfare . . . as much as I am able.”

“Okay I've been stupid in the past. Not consistently stupid, but occasionally stupid. And I've made mistakes. You bet, I've made mistakes.”

She's a whore, that one."

“It's always possible for human beings to spoil their own peace of mind”

"Come to help me dig a body up. That was what a boyfriend should do, right?"

“Do you sometimes wish you could fast-forward a week? You know something bad's coming up, and you know you'll get through it, but the prospect just makes you feel sick. "

“It wasn't often you ran into bondage/Elvis/whorehouse-themed vampire club”

“But in my book, it' was basically's bad taste to stare at someone's assets, no matter how much on display they were.”

“I didn't see what was in front of me until I thought it might be taken away."

"You watched me undress last night, you ... you ... damn dog!”

“He looked like he'd just seen the Ghost of You Better Shut Your Mouth...”

“I want to call you all those gooshy words you use when you love someone, no matter how stupid it sounds.”

“Was this the second body I'd found in a closet, or the third? I wonder why I even opened closet doors any more.”

“Then I happened upon a whore.”

“Maybe I felt like I'd come so close to death that I'd better step back and take a look at my life. Maybe I didn't like a lot of what I'd done with it so far.”

“Those words are not a magical formula. They're not going to open my heart to you.”

"I love you. Your heart, your mind, your soul… you have brought light back into my life”

“You, on the other hand, are a sweet little éclair on the outside and a pit bull on the inside.”

[avatarrecom]

Sorry that I hit you, I actually love you

Pairing: Poly!recoms x Avatar!reader

Word count: 6.5k

A/N: This is the longest I've ever written lol. This story is sort of a little gift to @whxre-bxby, because I absolutely love their writing and it inspired me to write this story. I also totally did not want to write an enemies to lovers because I wanted to use the tag #foes to bro's to hoes.

There's one reason you came to Pandora. Only one simple reason. To make the people responsible for your brother's death pay. All you have is his name, the name of the man who killed your brother by ordering his helicopter to be shot down. Miles Quaritch. You will break him and everyone he cares about. You don't know how, but you will. get. revenge.

Your brother, Timmy, may he rest in peace, was fourteen years older than you and raised you from the moment you took your first breath. Your parents were even more useless than water was useless to a dead plant. Day in and day out, they were more concerned with getting high than with the two children they forgot they had. When you were four, your brother managed to become your guardian. You moved into the shitty little apartment that was the only one he could afford. Your brother insisted that you get the only bedroom. “Little girls need their own room, Butterfly,” he said before turning the old sagging couch into something that would resemble a bed.

The next few years consisted of school for you, a nine to five job for your brother and evening classes on top of that. After six years, your brother had completed his mechanical engineering degree. Shortly afterwards he told you that he had been offered a military engineer and helicopter pilot position by the RDA. But, for this he would have to go to Pandora. He told you that if he did this he would go to Pandora, his salary would be sent to you and the RDA would get you a caregiver.

And so, when you were only ten years old, he pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose, and left for Pandora. He left you in the care of a wonderful old woman, Helen, who helped you follow your dream of becoming an Avatar Driver. But after less than half a year, you received news that your brother was dead. According to the RDA report, your brother betrayed his own race by helping his fellow pilot, Trudy, free prisoners and fight the RDA. You were devastated. Your only family was gone. The RDA tried to send you to an orphanage. But Helen refused to let you go. Finally, the RDA gave up and let you stay with her. You still followed your dream of becoming an Avatar driver.

Now, sixteen years after your brother's death, you have finally arrived on Pandora.

And oh man, was it a shock when you arrived and found out you were joining the squad of the man who killed your brother. You didn't expect it to be this easy. You were supposed to meet him and his squad in your Avatar body. By now you were used to being ten feet tall, having a tail and having better hearing, sight and smell.

After changing into cargo shorts and a sports bra, you make your way to the 'Recombinant' quarters. You will find your new squad in the gym, training. You immediately spot the person you are here for. Miles Quaritch. He lies on his back on a bench and pushes the heavy weights above him. A bald man stands by his head, hands ready to take over the weights if it gets too heavy. Your gaze shifts to the other blue bodies and everyone is focused on their exercises. You see a woman with corn braids and a headband curling a dumbbell while she talks to a woman with a mohawk who is doing push-ups. To your right, you see a man wearing a bandana sparring with a man covered in tattoos. In the corner of the room, three men are doing pull-ups on the bars hanging between the walls. And finally a man wearing sunglasses 'who the hell wears sunglasses indoors' is running on a treadmill.

No one notices you because of the loud music coming from the speakers, so you knock loudly on the door behind you. Several eyes shoot your way. You feel uncomfortable with all the attention on you. "And who might you be," purrs Quaritch with a nasty grin. “Y/N,” you answer, trying not to lose your temper. Nothing could have prepared you to come face to face with your brother's killer.

Quaritch's eyes widen in realization. "You're the new addition to the squad." You nod stiffly and clasp your hands behind your back. The bald man lets out a loud laugh. "Relax, beautiful, we don't bite." The woman with the dumbbell hits him on the head and says something about men and testosterone to the other woman, who laughs in response.

Quaritch walks towards you, his posture commanding respect and obedience. "Colonel Miles Quaritch," he holds out his hand, "Pleasure to have you." You force a bitter smile and shake his hand. “I wish I could say the same.” You see everyone looking at you in shock. You give them an icy look.

Quaritch's stupid grin only widens as he takes you in. "I see, you're one of those." “One of those what,” you snap. "It doesn't matter, we'll break that behavior out of you." He steps aside and you roll your eyes so he doesn't see it. “So Y/N, meet the squad,” He gestures to the others. "The bald one is my second, Corporal Lyle Wainfleet." Lyle and the two women look at you with an almost disgusted look. "The two ladies are Walker and Z-dog."

Quaritch gestured to the men sparring before your entrance, “That's Prager and Lopez.” Bandana looks at you suspiciously and the tattooed one looks at you with a feral grin that makes him look like one of those hyenas from the Lion King. “Brown, Ja and Fike are at the bars and that's Mansk,” Quaritch finishes. "Come on guys, meet our new victim."

Quaritch gestured to the men sparring before your entrance, “That's Prager and Lopez.” One looks suspiciously and the other looks at you with a feral grin that makes him look like one of those hyenas from the Lion King. “Brown, Ja and Fike are at the bars and that's Mansk,” Quaritch finishes. "Come on guys, meet our new victim." With that he walks out of the gym. You stare hatefully at his retreating back. When he's out of sight and you turn your attention back to the rest of your squad, you see them staring at you with equal hatred.

“So,” Lyle begins, “what the hell is your problem.” “That ain't your damn business,” you reply. Lyle grins at his friends. “Women shouldn't curse,” says the tattooed man with a shit-eating grin. You roll your eyes, “Get fucked.” He blinks in surprise, but doesn't answer. You turn your back to the group and walk out of the gym.

The next few weeks were absolute hell for you. You were trained as a medic in addition to your Avatar training. You had absolutely no experience in hand to hand combat and weapons. It didn't help that your squad took pleasure in seeing you suffer. Quaritch forced you to do five hundred push-ups every morning, to run for at least an hour, and many other exercises that completely exhausted you. In the afternoon the squad would take you around and kick your ass in hand-to-hand combat. After a few days you were already covered in bruises. You already had a bruised ankle and you had muscle pain in muscles you didn't even know existed.

And of course the favorite passage of time outside of training was to make your life miserable. You lost count of how many times they 'accidentally' slammed you into the wall, how many times they 'accidentally' stepped on your tail and 'accidentally' stepped on your ankles, especially your bruised ankle. They threw the most uncreative insults at you. You simply ignored them and continued to perfect your revenge plan.

About three months after you met and three months of absolute hell, you walked to the cafeteria in your 'human body'. You were so deep in thought that you didn't realize you were bumping into someone. To be specific, a ten foot tall and blue, someone. “Oh shit, sorry,” you heard someone say as a blue hand held your arm so you could regain your balance. You look up and see that Brown was holding your arm. He tilts his head and looks at you confused. "Have we met yet? You look familiar, beautiful." Your other tormentors watch you with interest, you shiver as they sweep their gazes over your body, and you don't shiver in a good way, the way that makes you feel the heat in your core. "Wait, I know you, you're the girl of my dreams!"

You jerk your arm from his grip and scoff, “that's funny, because this feels like my nightmare.” Immediately the eyes of the blue creatures in front of you darken. “Wait, Y/N?!” Walker says in surprise. You roll your eyes and nod. Everyone's eyes widen in shock. Just as you're about to walk away, you hear Lyle, "Y/N, wait." Normally you would have just kept walking, but something in his voice catches your attention. You sigh and turn back to the Recoms, who are studying you in shock. “What,” you snap.

"Timmy was your brother," Z-dog says breathlessly. You detect a slight tremor in her voice, but pay it no mind as the rage takes over your body. “Don't say his name,” you snarl between clenched teeth. “Don't you dare ever say his name,” everything you're feeling right now is the most intense you've ever felt. Your anger is mixed with grief and sadness. You don't even realize that tears are streaming down your face. "He is dead!" you shout, unable to keep your pent-up emotions in check. "And it's all your fault!" "What's going on here," you hear an angry voice command.

In your anger you turn to the colonel, who stops slightly in his steps, thrown off by the angry tears on your face. You vaguely hear someone in the background saying that Timmy was your brother. "DON'T SAY HIS NAME!" you roar. “HE IS DEAD, HE WAS MY ONLY FAMILY, THE ONLY ONE WHO CARED ABOUT ME AND HE IS DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!” You break more and more with every word.

Before anyone can say anything else, you storm off. Luckily no one comes after you. After rushing into your room, you collapse against the wall, exhausted. You shouldn't have gone to the cafeteria in your human body. You should have stayed in your Avatar body, then they would never have realized who you really were. Shit, if you take revenge now, they'll immediately suspect you after your public emotional explosion in the hallway. You drop your head into your hands and sigh. Then you fall asleep on the floor, completely exhausted from the recent events.

When you wake up, you are determined to continue with your plan. It doesn't matter if they actually knew your brother personally, he was your brother and he's dead because of them.

You manage to avoid your squad for a few days. You skip the daily training and don't answer when one of them comes knocking on your door. That surprises you, you expected them to be happy to be rid of you temporarily. But then again, they probably have Quaritch's orders to convince you to act like nothing's wrong. They would probably be in trouble if the bigwigs found out that they were the ones who kept damaging your Avatar body.

After about a week you appeared back in the gym in your Avatar body. The Recoms look at you without the usual hatred in their eyes. “Y/N, how nice that you're joining us, not so nice that you're a week late,” Quaritch speaks and he too looks at you without the usual hatred. You roll your eyes, “Come on, who wants to go first,” you challenge, eager to let your energy out, preferably on something that could hurt the Recoms.

Brown steps forward. You wrap your hands and walk to the mat, Brown on your heels. When Quaritch gives the signal that you can start, you jump into action. You deliver several quick punches to Brown’s vulnerable spots. Normally he would have already blocked them and thrown you onto your back, pressing his weight on your throat with his knee. Normally he wouldn't remove his knee, even if, according to the rules, you tapped the mat three times because you couldn't breathe. Normally he would only remove his knee from your throat when you almost faint from the lack of oxygen.

But this time it's different. He lets you hit him, does the minimum to block you. This only makes you angry. "Come on, fight back!" you shout. He doesn't show that he heard you, he just keeps avoiding you and doesn't do anything to fight back. "Come on! Do something!" you shout again.

Your emotions completely overwhelm you, you don't understand anything anymore. At first they looked at you with hatred and did their best to make your life a living hell, which isn't that strange since you were a bitch. Then they find out who your brother was and suddenly they look at you with sadness and pity and they are reserved, as if they didn't want to torment you anymore. As if the fact that Timmy was your brother suddenly changed everything.

With every punch you get angrier and angrier. Suddenly you see red and you snap. You get so angry that you grab Brown by the base of his queue, pull him down and slam your knee into his face. You feel his nose break and you faintly hear Quaritch yelling in the background for you to stop. It's like you're underwater, everything is muffled and you can't stop. You hit harder and harder. Brown leans on his knees and tries to block you as much as possible while also trying to stop his bleeding nose.

You feel someone wrap their arms around your waist and pull you away from Brown. You continue to fight and struggle to get out of the grip on your waist. Ja is seen kneeling in front of Brown and taking off his t-shirt to gently press it against his nose, hoping to slow the bleeding. The person with his arms around your waist roughly throws you to the ground, you land wrongly on your newly healed ankle and fall to the ground. You hold your ankle with your jaw clenched.

“What the fuck do you think you're doing?!” Quaritch sneers. Before you can answer he continues, his voice louder with each word. "Stop your pathetic crying and get out of my sight!" You rub your cheeks and find that they are damp, you didn't even realize you were crying. You carefully stand up, careful not to put too much weight on your probably bruised ankle again. You look at the others and see that they are looking at you with anger and sadness. Just before you walk out the door you hear Quaritch coldly say, "If you know what's good for you, you won't come back until I say so." With one last look at the bleeding Brown, you walk out the door.

You stumble back to the Avatar's quarters and you sink onto your Avatar's bed and close your eyes. When you open your eyes again, you are lying in the link bed. The moment the bed opens, you quickly get up and forget about your bruised ankle. For the second time today your ankle collapses. The scientists look at you, but do nothing to help you. You manage to pull yourself up and limp out of the lab. Every scientist you walk past looks at you with disgust.

The nerds refuse to help you. After yet another injury, they gave up and left you to your fate. "Good," you think bitterly, "I don't need those know-it-alls, I can take care of myself." But deep down you know that's not true, right now you need your brother more than you ever needed him after he passed away.

You manage to avoid the busy hallways, limping to your room. The moment the door closes behind you you start screaming. You blindly grab the first object you feel, your favorite mug, and throw it across the room against the wall. Then you throw the next object, the book you were reading. You almost destroy your entire room and you keep screaming until your throat is so raw that no sound comes out. You don't even realize how much time has passed.

You grab another object and want to throw it against the wall when you see what it is. A photo frame with a photo of you and your brother. God, you seemed so happy then, together in your own little world. You hug the picture frame close to your chest and sink along the wall to the floor, crying. All the grief you have built up in you over the past few years is finally coming out.

It's already dark outside when your door opens. You start telling whoever it is to fuck off, but no sound comes out of your throat. You're so tired and in so much pain that you don't have the energy to do anything about the unwanted person who comes into your room. All you can do is stare blankly into space as the tears continue to flow.

You faintly hear footsteps in your room and out of the corner of your eye you see a large blue figure crouching on the floor next to you. You feel yourself being pulled into someone's blue arms, but you don't have the energy to protest, you barely have the energy to move your eyes. The blue arms gently lay you down on your bed. Through your blurred eyes you vaguely recognize Yes. Past him you'll see Walker and Mansk trying to salvage some of your destroyed room. Then Lopez walks in, pausing in shock when he sees the state of your room. His eyes land on Ja and your exhausted form. He approaches the two of you carefully and hands Ja a white box with a red cross.

You vaguely realize that Ja is putting ice on your ankle, that he is using an alcohol wipe to clean the wounds that you didn't even realize you had. He grabs a pair of tweezers and starts removing the pieces of glass from your wounds. You feel so numb that you don't even feel the pain. The mattress moves and you see Prager sit on the edge of your bed.

He waits until Ja has cleaned and bandaged your hands before handing you a steaming mug. "It's chamomile tea with honey. It's soothing and will help with your sore throat." When you don't respond and just stare blankly at him, he puts the mug on the nightstand next to your bed.

You don't react yet until you see Ja with a syringe in his hands. You start to struggle and try to scream, but only a rasp comes from your throat. "Hey, hey, calm down." Ja holds his hands up. You curl up on your bed in the corner of your room, wide-eyed, shaking and ignoring the blood through the bandages. “Hey, read the name of the drug,” Ja says calmly and holds the bottle out to you. You relax slightly when you see that it is a sedative.

Yes, he brings the syringe with the drug to your arm and if you don't protest, he pushes the needle into your arm and allows the drug to flow into your system. Your eyes become heavy and you fall into a dreamless sleep.

When you wake up again it is still dark outside. You roll your head to the side and see part of your squad, or it's probably your old squad by now, sitting in various places on the floor in your room. A painful, rough growl erupts from your throat as you feel blades shooting through your skull with the movement of your head. Immediately seven heads shoot towards your weak form.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" you hear Ja ask softly. You try to answer, but your throat is so dry that no words come out. Prager offers you the still steaming cup of tea, you sit up a little and take it gratefully. The first sip immediately soothes your sore throat. You look at Ja and say a soft "Okay." Ja sighs in relief and runs a tired hand through his hair.

"What time is it?" you ask softly. Prager looks at his watch, "zero three hundred." ‘Did I sleep that short?’ you think to yourself 'I feel like I've been hibernating.' Prager sees your questioning look and informs you that your training session and outburst was the day before yesterday and that you slept for over twenty-four hours. In the meantime, Ja has taken care of all your injuries, both your bruised ankle, which was completely swollen and blue because you didn't treat it right away and put too much strain on it during your outburst, and all the wounds from broken glass. Apparently you sat with your thigh in a pile of glass, which is how you got a large wound on your leg.

Z-dog, Walker, Mansk, Fike and Lopez cleaned up your room as much as possible and they even had to scrub blood from the floor, walls and furniture. They threw away all the broken items and even replaced some broken items. On the small counter you see your favorite mug, the one that was the first thing you broke. Lopez says that he and Fike did their best to glue it together as best they could, but it's not how it once was.

Apparently Prager didn't help clean up and just sat by your bed. He only got up to make you a new cup of chamomile tea with honey every time the tea started to get lukewarm, so that when you woke up you could immediately drink the warm tea if you wanted. According to Walker, he made dozens of cups of tea.

There is an awkward silence. “We have something to tell you,” Prager begins. The others move closer until they sit in a semicircle around your bed. You look at them questioningly and suspiciously. “We knew your brother,” Fike mutters under his breath. Lopez jabs him hard in the side and tells him to shut up. You try to sit upright as much as possible. "What?" you rasp.

Walker reaches out to you, as if to reassure you, but her hand stops in mid-air. Finally, she places her hand next to you on the bed, palm up, as if offering for you to take her hand if you want, if you need it. "It's true, we knew him," she says softly, "we knew him one day..." she trails off a bit and looks at the others uncertainly. “We knew him on a very, very personal level,” Ja continued.

You look at everyone in confusion. The Recoms see your confused look, but don't know how to respond. "We loved him," Ja said uncertainly. Your eyes start to water again, but you wipe them away roughly, you've cried enough. “What do you mean, you guys loved him,” you demand. Yes sigh, "we met him when he arrived on Pandora, he joined our squad as an engineer and Marine." You feel a pressure in your chest and you realize that you have replaced your brother in the squad.

"It didn't take long for us all to fall in love with him," Prager explains further and the others nod in agreement, "Miles, Lyle and Brown too." "He chose to go with Jake Sully to warn the Na'vi." Your emotions rise higher and higher, not only yours, also those of the Recoms. "We didn't know he was in the helicopter with Trudy, we really didn't know, otherwise Miles would never have given the order to shoot down the helicopter." You risk a look at the blue aliens and see the grief and sadness in their eyes and realize that they really loved him.

"Can you please leave me alone for a moment?" you whisper softly. The Recoms look at each other uncertainly, but decide to leave you alone. Mansk and Walker will stand outside your door so that in case you have another emotional breakdown, they will hear and they can help you.

As soon as you are alone, you start to cry softly again. And instead of having an emotional breakdown, you curl up in a ball on the corner of your bed and cry quietly so no one can hear. You are still so exhausted by all the emotions that you soon fall asleep again.

When you wake up again, you see that it is now daytime again. You stand up, careful not to step on your bruised ankle, and you hop to the sink. In the mirror you see that your eyes are red and swollen from crying. You also have a large cut on from the bottom of your jaw to the side of your nose, right under your eye. You look like complete shit.

You struggle out of your clothes and stop when you see all the wounds on your naked body. You didn't realize it was that serious. You carefully put on clean clothes. As you carefully hop out the door, you see Mansk and Walker still standing outside the door. They ignore all the confused looks from those passing by and focus their attention on you. They look at you with concern and mild concern.

"The colonel asked if we would take you to the Recom quarters when you were awake," Mansk informs, his voice, as always, devoid of emotion. You nod doubtfully and expect him to tell you that he is sending you back to earth. Mansk and Walker walk quickly in front of you, not realizing that you can't keep up with their bruised ankle and their long legs. Walker quickly realizes that you are a long way behind them and lightly hits Mansk on the arm, signaling that you cannot walk fast. The female Recom walks back to you to offer her support if you need it, while Mansk waits patiently for you to catch up.

The two slowly guide you to their living quarters. When you finally stagger into their living room, you see the rest of the squad sitting tensely in various places around the room. Your gaze shifts to Brown, who is lying on the couch with his swollen nose in bandages. You immediately feel guilty, you shouldn't have taken out your anger and all your other pent-up emotions on him.

You hear someone clear their throat and look up at Quaritch, who is staring at you intensely. You had never been in such a tense situation in your human body around the Recoms before, they only make you feel smaller. Quaritch sighs tiredly and gestures for you to sit on the couch, after a struggle and help from Walker you finally sit on the couch.

Quaritch sits across from you, resting his elbows on his knees. "What they told you is true," he begins, "we really loved your brother and we miss him every day. If I…" he trails off. "If I had known he was in that helicopter, I would never have given the order," he looks genuinely remorseful. “Here,” Lyle says, holding out a piece of photo to you. The photo shows the Recoms, in their deceased human bodies, and in the center, with Lyle's lips on his left cheek, Brown's on his right, and Lopez with his hyena grin hanging over his head, is your brother. He has the widest and happiest smile you have ever seen on his face. You don't know why, but suddenly you're sure he loved them, you believe the Recoms. Your brother was always an excellent judge of character and if he loved them too, as you see in the photo, you believe he was happy with them.

You give the photo back to Lyle and he offers you another photo. Another photo of your brother, this time he is sitting in the pilot seat of a helicopter with a toothy, silly grin. You smile sadly at the photo and hand it back to Lyle. He shakes his head, "keep the photo, we have several copies."

“We should never have treated you this way,” Quaritch says firmly. "We didn't know Timmy was your brother and I know it's not an excuse, but I'm sure we would have been different if we had known." You laugh softly and see the confused, slightly offended look in their eyes. "I was a bitch to you and besides, I came here planning to kill you all as revenge for what you did to my brother." You take in the shocked looks, slightly enjoying it. "I don't think I'll do it again, Timmy wouldn't want to."

“You know,” Lyle begins, “Your brother told us all about you, he loved you so much and he was so proud of you.” You smile sadly. "I know." "He also said he always called you butterfly, why was that?" Walker asks. "Our parents always called me an ugly duckling, so my brother started calling me butterfly, because a caterpillar blossoms into a beautiful butterfly." It was always your most favorite nickname anyone had ever given you. “And as a kid I was always hyper and he said I was always fluttering around like a butterfly.”

You suddenly frown and turn your attention to Brown. "I'm sorry, I should never have lost my temper to the extent that I hurt you." Brown looks at you in surprise. "Seriously?" he asks angrily and you recoil. "We have tormented you for weeks, months and you apologize to me?!" he asks incredulously. "And besides, I deserved it, I think we all deserve a broken nose, probably worse."

"Absolutely not, I don't want to deal with nine broken noses plus my own, we will pay for our actions in another way." Protested Yes. Brown pouts, "but if my nose heals wrong, at least I'm not the only one with an ugly, crooked nose." You smile and feel yourself relax slightly.

The following hours and then even weeks consist of exchanging stories about Timmy. Sometimes you laugh, like your story about his baking attempt for your eighth birthday that resulted in a cake literally exploding. And sometimes you cry, like their story about how he curled up next to them at movie night, just like you always did with him.

In addition, every Recoms continues to apologize every day. Ja personally sees to it that you heal completely, while he also has to listen to Brown's whining about his nose.

You slowly warm up to the Recoms, seeing and appreciating their efforts to earn your forgiveness. But after a few weeks you also start to feel things that you don't know how to feel. Every time Ja gently holds your chin in his hand to tend to the cut on your face, you feel his touch long after he lets you go. Every time Walker deliberately walks next to you to offer you support when you need it, you can't stop blushing.

It feels wrong, falling for your dead brother's lovers. It feels wrong, but also so good. You have decided to ignore your feelings, you have convinced yourself that they will go away on their own. But you didn't know that the Recoms feel the same way. Not because you are part of your brother, but because you are simply a wonderful person.

About five months after your breakdown, you and the squad are on a mission in the Hallelujah Mountains when you are suddenly attacked by several Thanators. You scatter in different directions, hoping to get rid of the Thanators with minimal casualties. You run with Prager and Z-dog through the thick jungle, fleeing from the two Thanators who are chasing you. The three of you don't have much luck when you stumble upon atop a waterfall on the edge of a high cliff.

You look around in panic, looking for a way out as the Thanators get closer and closer. "We have to jump!" Z-dog shouts. "WHAT?!" you shout back. "JUMP!" she shouts again as she grabs your hand and pulls you off the cliff. You scream all the way down to the lake at the bottom of the waterfall. Fortunately, the Thanators do not follow.

When you finally manage to get to the beach at the edge of the lake, you see Prager lying on his back in the sand, chest heaving. “Prager, are you okay?” you ask worriedly, slipping into the role of medic. Prager gives a tired thumbs up, "Let's never do that again." You hear sputtering behind you and see Z-dog walking onto the beach, her mohawk hanging wet in her face with a pissed off expression.

The two of you plop down on the sand next to Prager and let your clothes dry in the sun. After a while you hear sounds in the jungle, sounds that are getting closer. Prager and Z-dog are immediately in a crouching position. Prager pushes you behind him as he and Z-dog point their guns in the direction the sounds are coming from. "You don't think the Thanators found us, do you?" you ask nervously.

Then the rest of the squad bursts onto the mini beach. Quaritch sighs in relief when he sees the three of you. “Thank god, I thought something had happened to you guys when you didn't come back,” he studies you carefully, “why are you guys so wet?” Z-dog explains what happened and the rest look at you in shock. Quaritch walks over to you and gently takes your chin in his hands. "Are you OK?" he asks worriedly. You nod reassuringly. Quaritch sighs in relief and rests his forehead against yours.

“Thank god, I was worried about you my love,” you look up abruptly when you hear the nickname. Quaritch himself seems shocked at what he called you. You see the rest of the Recoms with the same look, until Fike breaks the silence, "why are we surprised, we all already knew we fell for her?" Lopez sighs in annoyance, "Yes, but she didn't know that."

"You guys fell for me?" you ask in shock. Quaritch rubs his neck uncomfortably. “Yes, we know it's weird because of your brother, but we can't help it.” "And the biology of the Na'vi is different, we can't control ourselves if we find someone attractive." Ja explains.

The following hours and then even weeks consist of exchanging stories about Timmy. Sometimes you laugh, like your story about his baking attempt for your eighth birthday that resulted in a cake literally exploding. And sometimes you cry, like their story about how he curled up next to them at movie night, just like you always did with him.

In addition, every Recoms continues to apologize every day. Ja personally sees to it that you heal completely, while he also has to listen to Brown's whining about his nose.

You slowly warm up to the Recoms, seeing and appreciating their efforts to earn your forgiveness. But after a few weeks you also start to feel things that you don't know how to feel. Every time Ja gently holds your chin in his hand to tend to the cut on your face, you feel his touch long after he lets you go. Every time Walker deliberately walks next to you to offer you support when you need it, you can't stop blushing.

It feels wrong, falling for your dead brother's lovers. It feels wrong, but also so good. You have decided to ignore your feelings, you have convinced yourself that they will go away on their own. But you didn't know that the Recoms feel the same way. Not because you are part of your brother, but because you are simply a wonderful person.

About five months after your collapse, you and the squad are on a mission in the Hallelujah Mountains when you are suddenly attacked by several Thanators. You scatter in different directions, hoping to get rid of the Thanators with minimal casualties. You run with Prager and Z-dog through the thick jungle, fleeing from the two Thanators who are chasing you. The three of you don't have much luck when you stumble upon atop a waterfall on the edge of a high cliff.

You look around in panic, looking for a way out as the Thanators get closer and closer. "We have to jump!" Z-dog shouts. "WHAT?!" you shout back. "TO JUMP!" she shouts again as she grabs your hand and pulls you off the cliff. You scream all the way down to the lake at the bottom of the waterfall. Fortunately, the Thanators do not follow.

When you finally manage to get to the beach at the edge of the lake, you see Prager lying on his back in the sand, chest heaving. “Prager, are you okay?” you ask worriedly, slipping into the role of medic. Prager gives a thumbs up, "Let's never do that again." You hear sputtering behind you and see Z-dog walking onto the beach, her mohawk hanging wet in her face with a pissed off expression.

The two of you plop down on the sand next to Prager and let your clothes dry in the sun. After a while you hear sounds in the jungle, sounds that are getting closer. Prager and Z-dog are immediately in a crouching position. Prager pushes you behind him as he and Z-dog point their guns in the direction the sounds are coming from. "You don't think the Thanators found us, do you?" you ask nervously.

Then the rest of the squad bursts onto the mini beach. Quaritch sighs in relief when he sees the three of you. “Thank god, I thought something had happened to you guys when you didn't come back,” he studies you carefully, “why are you guys so wet?” Z-dog explains what happened and the rest look at you in shock. Quaritch walks over to you and gently takes your chin in his hands. "Are you OK?" he asks worriedly. You nod reassuringly. Quaritch sighs in relief and rests his forehead against yours.

“Thank god, I was worried about you my love,” you look up abruptly when you hear the nickname. Quaritch himself seems shocked at what he called you. You see the rest of the Recoms with the same look, until Fike breaks the silence, "why are we surprised, we all already knew we fell for her?" Lopez sighs in annoyance, "Yes, but she didn't know that."

"You guys fell for me?" you ask in shock. Quaritch rubs his neck uncomfortably. “Yes, we know it's weird because of your brother, but we can't help it.” "And the biology of the Na'vi is different, we can't control ourselves if we find someone attractive." Ja explains.

Their eyes slide over your body with interest as they see how your body reacts to their confession. And this time, when you feel yourself shivering, you also feel the heat pooling in your core.

[little-bit-obsessed]

Born to Be a Courtier {Narnia}

The first chapter of my new Narnia fanfiction is out! I've made this little WIP intro for it mainly because I love doing WIP intros, so I hope you enjoy!!

Genre: Fantasy, historical

Ship: Peter/Caspian

POV: Third person switching between all four Pevensies and Caspian

Description: After years of living peacefully in the Shuddering Woods, the family of the Beavers, where the Pevensies live, is found by the Telmarines. Susan and Peter are sent to the Castle for a life at Court, watched closely by King Miraz, as Lucy and Edmund, still hiding out in the Woods, plan to usurp King Miraz to save the Narnians he is slaughtering, and rescue their siblings.

Peter Pevensie

Peter Pevensie has spent his whole life protecting his three siblings since the death of their parents. After being sent to the Telmarine Castle, he is adamant that he and Susan must escape, and return to Lucy and Edmund. However, the longer he spends at Court, the more tied up he becomes in the life of Prince Caspian—and as Peter learns more and more about the Telmarine royal family, he realises how easily they could be taken down from the inside, with the help of traitorous members of the Telmarine Court.

Susan Pevensie

Susan Pevensie has never wanted to leave her home, content to life an easy life with her family and friends. However, after arriving at Court and being promoted to a Lady-in-Waiting to Queen Prunaprismia, Susan realises that life in the castle is far better than life in the Woods. Longing for a world where her and her family could live life at Court, Susan is torn by her principles and her desire for peace.

Lucy Pevensie

At only fifteen years old, Lucy Pevensie knows far more than she lets on. She has been practicing dagger-throwing since she was a child, and has many Narnian friends willing to follow her into danger. Although often underestimated, Lucy helps to create a plan to take down King Miraz, and in the process, manages to find a connection with Aslan, whom many did not believe existed. Lucy holds all the cards in a dangerous game of life and death, flying under the radar all the while.

Edmund Pevensie

Desperate to be a leader, Edmund Pevensie is at the head of the rebellion which begins in the Woods. He fights with an insecurity that his older siblings might prefer life at Court to a life with them, and falls deeper into this inner pain as he is unable to see them or contact them. Despite his feelings, he promises Lucy he will rally the troops, save their siblings and the Old Narnians, but cannot help his own desire for power taking over.

Prince Caspian

Prince Caspian has spent a life hidden away from Court, his voice restricted by his jealous uncle, who is terrified that an uprising will occur if their people learn to love Caspian, the rightful heir to the throne. But when Peter Pevensie comes to the Castle, he teaches Caspian how to break the rules, attempting to use Caspian for his own ends.

This fic currently has the first chapter out on AO3, and I will be updating it every Sunday! Here's the link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61990618/chapters/158523481

[emeritus-fuckers]

“Alstroemeria” ♡ Cardinal Primo x gn!reader platonic drabble (fluff)

Dedicated to @thecuriouss. I suck at fluff. I'm sorry.

There was something peaceful about the Ministry's garden. Maybe it was the colorful flowers. Maybe it was the fact that not many people spend much time there, each Sibling of Sin dealing with their own work and responsibilities.

Maybe it was the fact that it was a good place to hide from all your worries. You could hide behind a tree, observe the colorful flowers and just wait until you felt like you could function again.

Or... you could be caught by a certain long haired blonde Cardinal in his early thirties. The oldest son of Papa Nihil Emeritus, Primo, seemed to share your fondness for the garden, though he never exactly said why. He just seemed to always gravitate here in his limited free time, usually with his two younger brothers, who would run around playfully or enjoy calm walks with him and ask him all about the flowers. Surprisingly, he seemed to always know the answer.

It took some time, since he wasn't too fond of people in general, but you became rather close friends with him. And since Primo Emeritus didn't have many friends, he seemed to really cherish the ones he did have.

And somehow, he seemed to know when one of said friends needed him. Which meant that, of course, he found you, sitting under a tree and watching the colorful flowers.

"That's alstroemeria." Primo announced instead of greeting you like anyone else would. He seemed to like making you jump in surprise, as there was always a sparkle of amusement in his eyes whenever he saw you acting like him randomly popping up was giving you a heart attack.

"Alstro... what?"

"Alstroemeria. The Lily of the Incas. Represents compassion, patience, appreciation, humor, understanding and loyalty." he explained, his gaze focused on the flowers. Primo rarely looked at you directly. He seemed to associate it with all the nonsense he had to deal with as future Papa.

You were both silent for a while, you still sitting on the ground, your back against the tree and him... well, he stood like he was taught to. Perfectly. His back completely straight, his hands behind his back as he looked in front of him. He almost looked like a statue.

Then again, considering his upbringing, being born only to ensure the bloodline wouldn't be broken... and yet, he was a good person. A complicated, yet good person. After all, he took raising his brothers onto himself, just so they could have a childhood.

"It's a... flower of friendship." He added after a while, hunching slightly. A sign that he was relaxed. And a habit that will probably cause him back issues when he gets older.

"Friendship?"

He hummed, clicking his tongue before slowly sitting down on the ground as well, despite how he'd usually scold you for doing that. You were tempted to point it out and maybe if you were in a better mood, you'd actually do it. But not right now. Right now you just wanted to enjoy his presence.

You rested your head against his shoulder, closing your eyes. He didn't really do anything about it, but you knew by now that he was comfortable with you, since he didn't even flinch. If he was uncomfortable, he'd simply get up and leave.

"Yes. I have personally requested to have them planted here." He admitted, his voice much quieter than usual, but not quite a whisper. It was a rare moment of peace in his life.

"Why?" You asked quietly, closing your eyes for a bit as you gently reached to hold his hand. He let you do that, intertwining your fingers together and humming softly.

"Because I've noticed how... fond... you are of this spot. It's always the same tree, facing the same direction. I figured... you'd enjoy those flowers here." He admitted, looking away, using his free hand to play with his hair. One of the small ways he allowed himself relax around people he trusted. There was something almost cute in it.

"You... had the Siblings plant those flowers here for me?"

"Don't think too much about it." He blurted out quickly, looking away with a slight blush. You giggled at his reaction. For someone so good with people, Primo was terrible when it came to dealing with those he actually held close. Unless, of course, it was about his brothers.

You smiled softly, relaxing against him. It was now that you noticed just how much all those negative emotions you felt earlier have worn you out. And his presence was soothing. Comforting. So soothing and comforting, in fact, that you ended up napping against him.

And Primo, despite all the work he still had to do, let you do that. Because he knew he wasn't good at showing affection. So instead, he would go along with what you did. And if you decided to use his shoulder as your pillow, then Primo Emeritus would not be moved until your nap was over.

And while you slept, he could look at the alstroemerias. The flowers he grew so fond of recently, because they reminded him of you. One of his closest friends.

This really was a good place to plant the flowers of friendship.

~

Written by Jez.

Taglist: @charlie-is-a-menace @copias-fluffy-asscheeks @lunarsromantichomicide @randodummy @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @calliedion-dungeon @randominstake @nuntia @dio-niisio @mamacarlyle @firefirevampire @mybotanicaldemise @emo-mess @natoncesaid @sirlsplayland @ouijaboardemo @lightbluuestars @igodownjustlikeholymary

[imagine-silk]

I've been playing TOW nonstop ough

Could you please write romantic yandere headcanons for Vicar Max or Phineas Welles (for both if you feel like it???) with a GN or male Captain? (Specifically loyal to Phineas) Those two make me feel insane 🥺 me when old men: 😳😳😳

Thank you <3

》Me also when old men: ⸝⸝⸝o⸝⸝⸝o⸝⸝⸝ Been playing Veilguard and I'm so in love with Emmerich.

【Vicar Max】

When he joins the crew for selfish goals he was all to happy to use Hawthorne to get it done. He wasn't lying when he told him having another adult on the team would be for the best, he just didn't know that would impact him as well. Sure there was Nyoka but she was just as immature as the others. He found himself seeking the company of the only person on the Unreliable he doesn't want to strangle (the exception being Parvati but she's a baby to him). This is ultimately his decent into madness considering he's trapped in space for long periods of time surrounded with people he deems incompetent. Then there's the one who is an adult like him, meaning not stupid.

He never needs to baby Hawthorne or check himself, he can swear and bitch around him. Hawthorne takes everything he does in strides and once he finds out Max's real intentions he almost never cares. "You gotta do what you gotta do. Even if I don't agree with it." That nonchalant attitude was rather attractive to him.

Of course the Architect would never have allowed him to act on this sinful lust and pleasure, the insatiable need to have him. If Hawthorne never asked then it's not in the Great Plan for it to happen. However things change after his enlightenment. He's abandoned the Plan in exchange for autonomy and peace. Now he's more comfortable pursuing what he wants

It starts off light. Hawthorne heading out? Max does too for one reason or another. Does Hawthorne need company? No? Then Max needs his. When Felix mentions something about the captain being hot like a protagonist Max reminds him Hawthorne is older than him, meaning Felix was too young for him. And it stays there. He never leaves the crew and is almost always at his side like a loyal second in command. He wouldn't care if the others died but Hawthorne is attached to them so if it's insisted he supposes.

He will would go to the other side of the galaxy to stay with him.

【Phineas Welles】

This is a man who is alone and likes to be alone, very different from being lonely. He would never seek out people if it didn't effect him and it took the universal government to get him to do just that. And he keeps his distance as much as he can, just gives Hawthorne directions and leaves him to do it. But Hawthorne didn't like that and started going to his hideout. He didn't appreciate it but it got him to keep running around to get rid of the board so sacrifices were due. He didn't expect to actually enjoy the company. He still doesn't like others but he makes an exception for Hawthorne.

Turns out Hawthorne was a fellow scientist or at least working under one and had college education. Phineas was self taught so they knew about the same information. Hawthorne was able to teach him even more, practical things you don't learn in a textbook, and Phineas was able to recap what was missed in the decades he was frozen. He respected the exchange of information without judgment.

It would be so easy to just lock Hawthorne in with him but the board needed to be dealt with and neither of them were safe until they were taken out of the equation. But he did prepare for after that happened. He's very flexible with his morals so he's not very concerned about it.

He doesn't say anything about his plans and he doesn't ask Hawthorne if he'd like to stay with him. He just continues to indulge him when he visits and asked the crew to not come inside so they don't 'accidentally poison themselves after touching the wrong thing'. Then the long awaited day comes when the colony starts to get back on track about how humanity moves on and the people of the Hope are free. After that Hawthorne is basking in the celebration glow and is immediately place in the glass room. Phineas doesn't even ask, just explains he's just not going to let him leave in any way, shape or form.

He assures Hawthorne everything is accounted for and that his job was done. Now all they had to do was enjoy the time they had together.

[galaxywrites]

Personally I love my chaotic found family troupe. Can you describe each of them?

Hopefully I do this right and understood the ask anon 👍 My little ramble thoughts have also been put here for the kast.

Liu Kang ❪ 🔥 ❫ the new emperor of the dead. It was Liu Kang's idea for them to stay, and be the kind of people that the citizens of the Netherrealm would aspire to follow. He is still bitter over Raiden and the mistakes that led to all of them being killed, but it is more simmering now that Quan Chi's magic isn't amplifying it.

Kitana ❪ 💙 ❫ the empress of the dead and one of two new rulers of the Netherrealm. She spent a lot of time considering what kind of leader she wanted to be, and heavily relies on counsel to make any major decisions. However, she is protective of each and every person that is among her subjects. She's gotten into so many fights over defending her friends' honor, it's not even funny.

Jade ❪ 💚 ❫ Kitana’s right hand in decision making. She can usually be found sparring with Tomàš, though those two are usually found together. She and Tomàš have formed a bond almost akin to siblings, with her acting as an older sister to him most days. ... She makes a lot of staff/bo puns.

Nightwolf ❪ 🐺 ❫ the peace keeper of the group. The unofficial dad of this group of trauma bonded adults, some with more trauma then they have time to unpack. He has personally gotten them all a therapist because, dear god, do all of them need one. Some more than others. Wise advice is common to hear from him, and he's probably the third oldest of the group, other than Kitana and Jade, I imagine he would have been in his early to mid forties by the time he died.

Kabal ❪ 🪽 ❫ think of him as like, the news person in the Netherrealm. Kabal goes from city to city, town to town in the Netherrealm to spread the latest news due to his super speed. Due to the revenants still being technically dead, I don't think he needs his mask, but more so he wears it so he doesn't scare anyone.

Stryker ❪ 👮 ❫ Kurt usually goes to the nearest village and helps out the Netherrealmer children. He also helps out with farmers, and has taken an interest in how plant life grows in the Netherrealm. He always has something to talk Kabal's ear off when the man returns to the castle. [He's enjoying the domestic life.]

Tomàš ❪ 🩶 ❫ while he doesn't have an official role in terms of he isn't either of the rulers right hands, Tomàš can usually be found around Jade, Nightwolf, or Kitana, or on very rare occasions, making neck jokes with Kung Lao. But occasionally, he'll disappear into the depths of the Netherrealm to find and speak to the old members of the Lin Kuei. (He has even roped/bribed Bi-Han into doing odd jobs for the castle.) In the early days of the group trying to help the Netherrealm, Tomàš is very reserved as he actually doesn't know any of them that well, and the first person he opened up to was Jade. Also I just feel like he's a bit feral, so there's also that... ++ He has caught the attention of many Netherrealm inhabitants who recognize that he is an enenra. He's basically been dubbed as everyone's little brother at this point.

++ Enenra is also present here. But they are more so a background force apart of Tomàš' character. But I've written them as more of a protective force that only kicks in when Tomàš' life is in danger. Given the fact that Enenra was born/created from when Tomàš died as a child, I feel that they really only want what is best for Tomàš, and only takes over his body when they feel Tomàš needs their protection. If killing is necessary to protect the boy (he isn't a boy anymore), then so be it.

Kung Lao ❪ 👒 ❫ Liu Kang's right hand. Very rarely does he leave Liu Kang's side, but when he does, you can usually find him around the castle. Honestly? The only person that has since made it to Earthrealm to troll Raiden, and reassure Kung Jin that he and everyone else is doing fine. (He went back and ripped his family a new one for kicking Jin out, though.) Kung Lao.. has a terrible habit of making neck jokes and causing Smoke to laugh his ass off at them, because they were both killed in the same manner. It's funny for them, but Nightwolf is concerned.

There is also a little shipping in this au 🤏 but not much.

[good-to-drive]

thoughts on the Harrison-Boyd-Clapton live triangle???

Oh god I have SO many thoughts lol. I was actually just talking to my best friend about this, but to put it simply I see the whole situation as an example of two people who truly love each other not belonging together because the particular ways in which they're broken go together too well.

But, to put it less simply:

I tend to think about it from Pattie's perspective, and I've always thought of her as having pretty severe eldest daughter syndrome, i.e. she was taught to value her worth by what she could provide to others. Her parents weren't super involved and she took on a lot more responsibility than most kids her age, especially when it came to her younger siblings. This quote in particular stood out to me when I was obsessing over Pattie a few months ago:

(Not sure where that's originally from btw, I've had the screenshot forever but based on formatting I think it might be brainy quote).

It's often a red flag when people say they felt older than their years, and doubly so when they were in some way parentified. We often reenact the role we played in our childhood family system in our adult relationships, and in Pattie I think this lead her to be extremely giving and self sacrificing. To the point where I'm not sure she was even aware that she HAD emotional needs, much less knew how to assert them.

To that end, although I obviously like George quite a bit, there's no denying that -- especially as a young man -- he was an incredibly needy person. (I actually think all the beatles were sort of black holes of emotional need tbh, at least in their youth. Partly because of childhood trauma but also because they were living a life that's larger and more extreme than any human being was meant to live.)

Pattie's tendency to sacrifice excessively dovetailed perfectly with George's tendency to need excessively, and as a result he totally eclipsed her entire self, until she felt utterly lost. That's neither of their fault, btw. Neither of them was emotionally mature or self aware enough to realize what was happening.

(Not to mention George was cheating like a dog and Pattie was taking it on the chin even though she knew deep down she deserved better. But former parentified children often put up with a lot of shit as adults because they believe it's their responsibility to do so.)

Then Eric comes along and literally tells her it's her fault he's addicted to heroin and if she doesn't leave George he'll die and it'll be all her fault. Aside from the fact that this is literally emotional abuse, it's also an even darker and more powerful black hole of neediness than George. And as someone whose sense of self has been eclipsed and who only knows she matters when she's of service to others, it was basically impossible not to fall into that black hole.

For his part, I think Eric was far more concerned with taking something from George than being with Pattie. I don't know enough about him to know why he'd feel the need to do that and I also really dislike him so I doubt I'll ever find out. Pattie said he got bored of her pretty much as soon as he "had" her, and tbh that doesn't surprise me.

It was honestly such a tragic thing for Pattie to be driven/dragged away from George -- personally I believe they always loved each other (she referred to him as her soulmate in her autobiography, and George made sure she knew as long as he was alive she'd have a financial parachute) -- but I also genuinely think they had to lose each other in order to find themselves.

Pattie couldn't stay in a relationship where she was fulfilling the same self sacrificing role she played as a child, and although it was a long and painful road she seems to have really found herself and found peace. She's never explicitly said this, but often people without a strong sense of self need to be on their own in order to learn how to value themselves, and she did spend a long time unmarried after Eric.

And, although George was gutted by the breakup, he was no more capable of expressing love in a healthy way than Pattie was. If they had stayed together I doubt he'd have grown into the wise and self possessed person that he ultimately became, because he simply wouldn't have had to. (Plus he never would have found Liv and I love her just as much as I love Pattie.)

In the end their relationship is fascinating and tragic to me because the things that drew them to one another so deeply were also what ultimately doomed them, and yet in the shadow of that loss they became the people they were meant to be and found their happy endings.

Thanks for the ask, and sorry for the novel 😁