#and people wonder why I am not as into tf anymore…sometimes it feels bleh here

[noodleblade]

I don’t think you own the shattered glass simpatico idea…

What on earth are you talking about? Since when did I give an implication I owned anything?

Is this about the art piece from earlier I reblogged? Because I have no issue of others making art around the same idea or even taking inspo from an idea I wrote. More the merrier.

My “issue” (if you can even call it that- I’m not even trying to make it anything, just making a suggestion in the tags) is when you take the words I wrote and don’t attribute proper credit to the person that wrote them.

That’s all.

[aaronhart93-archive]

text ll Aaroman

Discord thread featuring: Aaron & @romanbeckett

Mentions: none

When: morning of July 10, 2020

Description: Aaron sees Roman’s text in the group chat about crying every night and reaches out to him

Trigger Warnings: mentions of drug use

Aaron.

are u really crying everyday Ro

Roman.

where did you hear that

Aaron.

*thinking face*

Roman.

I’m okay

Aaron.

please talk to me

Roman.

I want to. Trust me. I want to so bad, it’s all I can think about. But what do I fucking say? I’ve never been so speechless in my life.

Aaron.

you’re all I can think about

I get drunk and do dumb shit bc it distracts me from thinking about you but you’re literally all I think about otherwise

Roman.

I want to believe that Aaron but I feel like just a huge phase

Aaron.

oh my god

Roman I’m so sorry

you’re far from a phase

Roman.

you went out and fucked every girl you could find

Aaron.

I love you. You’re far from just a hook up or experiment

I did that for my first two break up, when Ali told me she was pregnant, when my dad died, I’m not saying it’s healthy but it’s what I do

Roman.

I’m just. I don’t know what to think.

Aaron.

I’m so sorry I’m making you feel this way

I’ll stop sleeping around

Roman.

Aaron it’s too late for that

just don’t worry about it

listen, I’m not mad at you.

it hurt. Yeah. Especially when you hit on everyone in the group chat where I can see it, but. You’re single. You can do as you please.

Aaron.

I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you

maybe I was trying to make you jealous but I was also drunk for most of that

Roman.

well it worked, so hopefully that pleases you.

because it’s not hard enough.

Aaron.

tell me what you want from me please

Roman.

Aaron, nothing. I don’t have any right at all to be upset, or jealous, or whatever else. I don’t have any rules as far as what I need you to do.

please don’t feel any pressure from me to walk on glass.

I care about you. I’m not mad. I’m not anything right now other than stressed, and nervous.

Aaron.

about the show or other things?

Roman.

the show is all I’m allowing myself to really focus on right now.

Aaron.

okay I’ll leave you alone

Roman.

that’s not what I meant

Aaron I’m sorry. I know this is all such a fucking mess.

Aaron.

it really is

I’m confused.

Roman.

me too.

I think we’re doing the best thing right now, letting everything blow over. Giving it time.

Aaron.

yeah but why do I feel so fucking shitty

Roman.

try just focusing on des, and being the best father for her. Drinking and having sex with everyone helps, I know, but don’t do anything that could hurt your relationship with your daughter

or hurt yourself. I don’t want that. I hate that I’ve ever brought any negativity to your life. I feel like I’ve been nothing but trouble to everyone from day one.

Aaron.

I don’t know why you keep saying that because you have so many people in town who would drop everything to help you. Especially me.

Roman.

I know that. That’s the problem. That’s why I hurt so many people.

bleh idk. I know why I say that stuff it seems so selfish

I love everyone so much and just don’t want to hurt anyone anymore.

Aaron.

you love so hard, I wish you would let other people love you back

Roman.

how

Aaron.

accept that people love you enough that they want to make sacrifices for you, that they’re willing to go out of their way for you, to go so upset at the idea of loosing you that they get drunk and wonder around drunk on the beach or get drunk every night and sleep with random women bc they’re trying to forget that they have to fall asleep and wake up without you next to them. Whether they love you as a friend or as a lover, I’m not just talking about me. Landon, Jaycee, khai, Ava. People want you in their lives. Let them let you into their lives. You’re so quick to take on everyone else pain but sometimes people want to help you with yours too. And yeah it fucking hurts but that’s what you do for the people you love.

Roman.

Aaron...

fuck. I’m sobbing lol wow. Ugh.

I hate you lol

Aaron.

lol

it’s just been on my mind so

Roman.

that’s what I thought I was doing here. Hurting, but doing it for the people I love.

Aaron.

no I know but you do it too damn often and now it’s wearing on you, AND you don’t let other people do it back.

Roman.

I want to believe that so bad. I feel like all I do is hurt people.

Aaron.

when you hooked up with Khai and Landon and broke up with me that fucking hurt. But I can name 5 good things you brought into for each time you hurt me. You’re so worth it I don’t know why you can’t realize that

Roman.

I don’t know.

in my mind...I’ve made you spiral.

and it fucking scares me.

Aaron.

man, I did that my damn self.

at the same time though you make me so fucking crazy and it scares me that I love you that much

Roman.

I don’t like that I make you hurt yourself.

Aaron.

maybe. But. There are healthier ways of coping that I elect not to do

Roman.

well yeah, but will you? It’s not even about the sex as much as it scares me that you did coke.

there are so many ways it can go wrong.

Aaron.

oh that’s what you’re talking about

It was fucking stupid

Roman.

I mean everything, but that scares me the most.

Aaron.

I’m not gonna do it again

for my kid

Roman.

good.

she’s the most important in all of this

Aaron.

yeah she is

Roman.

and I know you know that but.

she loves you so much

Aaron.

I don’t even wanna know the person I’d be without her

like think spiraling Aaron but all the time

she really woke me tf up

Roman.

I’m glad because you’re worth so much more.

Aaron.

gee thanks

Roman.

you are

Aaron.

yeah well so are you

Roman.

I know. I really want to work on being better.

Aaron.

I’ll work on being better if you work on being better

Roman.

lol deal!

Aaron.

please sleep. You have a show to work on in the morning.

Roman.

yeah. I just laid down. Going to try my best.

Aaron.

I could send you another one of Des’ favorite bed time stories

Roman.

lol please

Aaron.

There was once a prince who wanted to marry a princess. But she must be a real princess, mind you. So he traveled all round the world, seeking such a one, but everywhere something was in the way. Not that there was any lack of princesses, but he could not seem to make out whether they were real princesses; there was always something not quite satisfactory. Therefore, home he came again, quite out of spirits, for he wished so much to marry a real princess One evening a terrible storm came on. It thundered and lightened, and the rain poured down; indeed, it was quite fearful. In the midst of it there came a knock at the town gate, and the old king went out to open it It was a princess who stood outside. But O dear, what a state she was in from the rain and bad weather! The water dropped from her hair and clothes, it ran in at the tips of her shoes and out at the heels; yet she insisted she was a real princess. “Very well,” thought the old queen; “that we shall presently see.” She said nothing, but went into the bedchamber and took off all the bedding, then laid a pea on the sacking of the bedstead. Having done this, she took twenty mattresses and laid them upon the pea and placed twenty eider-down beds on top of the mattresses The princess lay upon this bed all the night. In the morning she was asked how she had slept.”Oh, most miserably!” she said. “I scarcely closed my eyes the whole night through. I cannot think what there could have been in the bed. I lay upon something so hard that I am quite black and blue all over. It is dreadful!”It was now quite evident that she was a real princess, since through twenty mattresses and twenty eider-down beds she had felt the pea. None but a real princess could have such delicate feeling So the prince took her for his wife, for he knew that in her he had found a true princess. And the pea was preserved in the cabinet of curiosities, where it is still to be seen unless some one has stolen it. And this, mind you, is a real story.

goodnight, Ro