#and owen hates it. ofc he hates it. anyone would hate it when youre presented with a person that practically has all that you needed

[aria0fgold]

Thinkin bout Cain's injury from The Great Calamity. How lonely it must feel to hear the world around you yet not see the people making that noise, how he feels during festivals in the town if he isn't actively participating in it, how it must feel hearing all the joyful cheers from the distance yet the only thing he can see is an empty space with objects floating about. Thinkin bout how, of all the people he can see without making contact with them, it's Owen, the very same one that attacked his squad, ripped his eye out, and forcefully swapped their eyes together so that wherever Cain went, there's an obvious mark reminding him of that incident. But despite everything, deep down, he felt relief most of all, that he didn't have to hide who he truly is.

Thinkin bout Cain being a knight straight out of a fairytale, so dependable, so reliable, so perfect as a knight in shining armour. But in fact, that's no more than an act, a facade to others but mostly to himself. He doesn't want to show anyone his darker sides, his faults, his flaws. He doesn't want to show anyone that can disgrace and taint Arthur, his liege's, image. He wants to be a perfect knight and everyone thinks of him as a perfect knight and that's all he's ever worth, he thinks. To be the perfect knight ready to lay waste to his life if it means protecting someone else. That's all he ever knows to make his life worth living, that's all he ever knows to show his sincerity, after lying for more than two decades of his life.

[stusbunker]

Below the Surface and In the Wild

For Better or Worst: Chapter Three

Featuring: Sam Winchester x Emery Simmons-Winchester OFC

OCs: Bandit (their dog), Sam’s coworkers Gretchen, Lourdes and Cady. Neighbors: Trudy and Jason Schneider and their dogs Mox and Sho.

Season 14 AU

Word Count: 2481

Summary: Sam is a doll. A sneak peek into what life was like those rough, first, few weeks. Then the newlyweds unknowingly start to understand just what being bound on a soul-level means.

Warnings: Mixed reality, magical persuasion.

Series Masterlist

^*^*^

One morning, inside the library building and down two flights of stairs, Sam approached his cubby, which housed notes for his current project, a small wireless speaker and a picture of Emery and Bandit, taken when he was a puppy. This trek toward work only reminded Sam how old he actually was, relative to his coworkers, at least. Gretchen was helping Lourdes fill out her taxes with an online program, as this was the first time the young woman had held a job. They were two of many graduate students that made up most of the labor for the archive department, though Sam worked full time. A position, though he had been teased for nepotism, he quite enjoyed. At this point in the term, he had given up reminding the twenty-somethings that Emery had just started with the school as well. He had started drowning out the phrase “trophy husband”, however, as they not so quietly gossiped.

               Luckily, Sam was almost positive to be left in peace, as he was transferring video footage from guest lecturers from the 80s and 90s into digital files for the school’s preservation society, in one of the soundproof rooms due to the availability of the allotted equipment. He didn’t need it to be silent, but it wouldn’t stop him from taking advantage of the location. Somewhere between fall ’84 and spring ’85, Cady knocked on the heavy door. Sam had very little interaction with the former volleyball player, but it wasn’t for her lack of trying. She smiled until he removed the headphones he wore, teeth pristine against spray tanned skin. Even post spring break, no one was that shade naturally.

               “Hey, we’re going to the union for lunch, did you want to join us?” Cady cocked her head to the side with a hand on her hip, toe twisting at the end of her oh so long legs.

               “I’m good, thanks,” Sam nodded and turned back to checking volume levels on what had transferred so far. He felt her linger behind him, but he didn’t look back until the door clicked shut. Sam closed his eyes in relief.

               Once he heard voices in the common area, Sam ducked out for his own late lunch walk. He hated being stagnant for hours on end, even if he didn’t remember it, his body was used to roller coastering between seated research and quick intensive work outs. It was a Tuesday, a day that always sat wrong with him. He found himself wandering towards Owens Hall, following the steady flow of traffic into the massive building. Just as the doors were closing to Lecture Room B, Sam slipped inside and found the last aisle seat, near the middle of the auditorium. As soon as Emery stood and offered a cordial good afternoon, the hall fell silence. Sam didn’t notice the small grin that had seated itself on his face as he watched her pace in front of her projected bullet points as she spoke. She wove her lecture like a narrative, intriguing and informative, it was almost a performance to hear her speak of the Crusades instead of course work.

               Halfway through the allotted time, Sam remembered he was supposed to be back to work, and he stood at an angle to duck out of the hall unnoticed.

               “Excuse me, but the lecture isn’t finished,” a stern voice called to him from the stage. The students whispered in both mockery and annoyance as Sam got called out for interrupting.

               “Sorry, I was just stopping by—my lunch break is over.” Sam nodded, frowning in chagrin.

               “So, you’re rude AND decided to waste my students’ time, the same people who are paying to be here?” Emery raised her eyebrows at Sam, a sinister tilt to her painted lips.

               “I guess so– Sorry, about that. I just wanted to see the hot new History professor I heard about,” Sam spat back, putting some humiliation on her plate as well. The crowd erupted.

“I’ll be going though, don’t want to waste anymore of y’all’s time,” he called over the fuss.

               She bit her lip as he turned to go, cursing under her breath. As soon as the door closed behind his flanneled back, Emery was back in professor mode.

               “Alright, that’s enough, he’s my husband—don’t get too excited.”

               Come six o’clock, Sam beat Emery to their crossover, though he could have kept working. It was tedious and any of the grad students could have taken the project, it was just nice to have a reason to stop for the day. Sam hadn’t allowed himself this kind romance in what felt like lifetimes and without the ability to pinpoint why, he was holding fast to his marriage, his partnership. Leaning on someone he respected was natural to Sam and he felt doubly blessed to have a woman like Emery to be there to support him, day in and day out. It was a small, simple life, but it is was theirs.

They had plans with their neighbors Trudy and Jason, which they had rescheduled once already because Bandit had a go with a skunk. They were nice people, but Sam was still adjusting to the social expectations of living nearby other couples in their thirties. New town meant new friends, right? That’s what Emery had kept telling him, trying to brush off some of his awkwardness. As he waited, he caught up with the news on his phone, preferring to lean against the car than inside it. Though it had the headspace, not a lot of vehicles had the leg space for him to sit comfortably and it felt less creepy of him, somehow. It’s not like he was on a stakeout, why would he sit inside the car?

Emery clicked the unlock button on her keys, intentionally startling Sam from his latest article.

“Crash any good lectures today?” She taunted, leaning up for a quick kiss.

“Ha-ha,” was his only reply. She tossed her bags in the backseat before sliding into the driver’s spot. They drove home easily, flirty glances and light banter, the sounds of NPR in the background. Sam took the dog for a walk while Emery changed, and she prepped the dessert she bought while he did.

Cheesecake and wine in hand, they strolled out the back door, over the sidewalk a whopping sixty feet and were then promptly greeted by Jason and Trudy’s two rottweilers, all by seven o’clock sharp. Jason kneed his way to the door before taking Mox and Sho by the collar to allow their guests inside. Sam, handed Emery the wine before leaning down to greet the dogs, letting Emery present their gifts. Jason, both burly and gregarious, nodded to the back of the house to the kitchen where Trudy was finishing up. The conversation flowed easily over the dogs as everyone calmed down with the company.

“Now, I know you can’t partake, but I figured–,” Emery was nearly apologizing to the very pregnant Trudy over the passing of the bottle of wine. The somehow still lanky redhead waved off Emery’s concern.

“My doctor says a half a glass at this point won’t do anything besides let me relax and with those boys eating through the latest diaper bag—I could use it,” Trudy shrugged. “How’s your week been?”

The two couples ate al fresco, enjoying the Schneider’s large deck, on the back of their house built when they moved in four years before, along with the matching eight-foot fence. Emery kept her free hand on Sam’s thigh while they got settled, but after a few glasses of wine, they were all chuckling easily. Trudy had grilled steaks and asparagus that rivaled celery stalks in size. Jason had tried a couscous recipe which everyone politely and silently agreed to never speak of it again.

“Man, I gotta say, I’m glad we did this,” Jason handed out mushy bear hugs at the door.

“Anytime,” Sam replied, patting Jason on the back as he grabbed Emery.

“Yeah? Nice! Didn’t scare you off,” Jason teased. “Seriously though, after those first couple’a weeks I thought you were a douche.”

“And now?” Sam swallowed, putting his hands in his pockets.

“Jury’s still out,” Trudy dropped out of left field, causing everyone to break away with their own laughter. “Don’t be strangers just because my husband can’t cook.”

Perhaps they hadn’t all agreed to leave it be. With a signature awkward wave and a tugging at his elbow, Sam turned toward home. On his arm, Emery was humming from the gentle buzz of her share of the bottles of wine. Sam struggled to remember what would have made Jason say what he had.

Sam hadn’t been paying attention, but a passing glance at the date stamped on the sub/reddit he was reading made his blood run cold. It was Dean’s birthday, his fortieth. They needed answers, a timeframe, something. He deserved to know that this was all worth it, that it was working. Emery came home an hour later to find Sam sitting in the dining room, that they had yet to use. A third of a bottle of Johnny Walker gone.

“Hey, everything okay?” She held her stomach as uncertainty and alarm battled to creep out of her cool demeanor as accusations. She didn’t know much about Sam yet, but that much alcohol that quickly wasn’t good for anyone.

Sam turned and his lip curled in spite. “What’s it matter? It’s all in their hands now isn’t? We just play house and wait on the angels. Like that ever really worked before.”

“Sam, we both, we need this—" Emery looked to her feet as her throat thickened.

“Save it. I know. I’ll play the part. It doesn’t mean I am going to be quiet about them leaving us in the dark,” Sam snapped at the ceiling.

“So, what, you’re just gonna get drunk and scream at the sky? Really?” Emery huffed and walked away. “Classy.”

He dried out in time to go to church with Emery on Sunday morning, the sanctuary feeling much smaller than it had during their private ceremony the week before. The reverend commented on his change of facial hair and Sam smiled at the implication that he didn’t need to impress Emery anymore. He had already landed her. Sam cocked his head and took a few deep breaths, his shoulders and lungs straining as if in a vice, desperate he excused himself from the coffee hour crowd and into the stark gray morning.

That night Emery went to bed alone again, leaving Sam to pass out on the couch as he pretended to watch something in the den. She fell asleep with tears in her eyes and a lamenting prayer on her lips.

The more Sam thought about it, the more it felt like he was chasing smoke. Nothing stuck and his mind felt blank. All of the sudden, he was upstairs, watching Emery peel off her clothes. When his ass hit the bed, she sauntered over to stand between his legs, nimble fingers threading through his hair. That was enough of a distraction to leave the concern for another day.

April 23, 2019

               There are days and there are dates, some days suck, while some dates are entombed in the psyche. Birthdays, anniversaries, heartbreaks and deaths: dates that could be forgotten, but usually aren’t. Some that should be forgotten, but refuse to leave the confines of memory, seeping into the very soul. It is a date as such that pierced through, causing Emery to wake up at 3:26 in a cold sweat, arms heavy with emptiness and head throbbing with unshed tears. She slipped out of bed and down to the den, the moment her foot moved from the last step to the hardwood floor, Bandit was at her knee, knowing something was the matter.

               Dogs are some of the greatest blessings in the lives of humans, even when those humans don’t deserve their unconditional comfort, perhaps especially then. Emery sank down on the staircase, all-consuming grief over taking her as she held Bandit to her chest, burying her face against the thick strands covering his neck. The hollowness inside ruptured into the stillness of the predawn quiet, reverberating in the large empty rooms of their playhouse. As needed as Bandit was, he was still a portion of her life before, signifying what she had lost and how far she had yet to go. He was reality incarnate, a touchstone even. There they sat, one mystified, one overrun with sorrow until Sam broke their trance as he called from the landing.

“Baby? What is it? What happened?” Heavy yet agile foot falls announced his progress until he slipped behind her, wiping her hair from her face where it stuck in sweat and tears. His eyes searched for injury, for entry, for any disturbance at all. The room and her body were as right as rain, yet she cried, and Sam let her. Feeling not lost at her inexplicable melancholy, but awash with it. He clung to her, and Emery leaned into him; life rafts and castaways in the same storm.

Moments or minutes later, they stood and stretched, no less in pain, but slaves to their bodies’ needs; they broke apart. Slowly they began their day, quiet and uncertain of what it would bring. If this storm would pass as quickly as it came or, if it was a hovering sort. As the hours floated by, each in their respective autopilot politeness at work and in the neighborhood.  During an unenthused walk with Bandit, Sam realized just how much he had been empathizing with Emery. It was at the forefront of his every thought, this drilling sadness. Buildings or miles apart, he still felt it in the hidden corners of his very being. Whatever this was, he wasn’t sure he could stand such unfounded torture for long.

               Back home, up the dark stairs and through the closed door of their bedroom, Emery sat on her side of the bed. Once Sam came out from brushing his teeth, she tried to give him a grateful smile. “Sorry about today, it sort of hit me out of nowhere.”

               Sam inhaled and nodded, pulling back the covers and holding his arms open for her to crawl into. “Can I ask what had you so upset?”

               “Today is— just a tough day for me. It was once a beautiful memory, but–,” her voice cracking once more. Sam shushed her as she once again started to cry.

               “It’s okay, we’re in this together. I got you,” Sam whispered into her hair.

               “For better or worse?” The first time it was a question more than a promise.

               “For better or worse,” Sam sealed their goodnight ritual. They fell asleep, emotionally depleted and awoke as if the day before had been like any other.

^*^*^

Read On: In Heaven Lies

[rsadelle]

Yuletide 2016

Below the cut is a Yuletide round-up of recs and also the things I wrote.

Stories For Me

all that is good (10136 words) by sevenfoxes Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Bourne (Movies) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Jason Bourne/Nicky Parsons Characters: Jason Bourne, Nicky Parsons Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, unprotected sex Summary:

You think about Landy, how the hearings meant to expose corruption instead started to swallow her whole, destroying the last genuinely good person you knew at the CIA. You think about Vosen and Conklin and Abbot and all the fucking men who hid behind the flag and a thick line about patriotism while pursuing their own agenda, their own power and money. You think about your father dying alone, believing you were gone, that the last of his family was dead.

“There have to be consequences,” you tell him.

That is the difference between the two of you. Jason wants to be left alone.

You want vengeance.

What I liked: NICKY! I was really excited to get a story all about Nicky. This does a really good job of alternating past and present to flesh out the characters and their relationship. Plus reproductive choices.

make haste from Babylon (3990 words) by Addison R Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Killing Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Stephen Holder & Sarah Linden Characters: Sarah Linden, Stephen Holder Additional Tags: Soul Bond, Writing on Skin Summary:

This must be the new guy, but he sure doesn't look the part.

What I liked: SOULBONDING. I won't give it all away, so suffice to say there's a match to shapes that I enjoyed, and also a pull to keep them together.

Other Stories I Enjoyed

A Divinely Attractive Arrangement (5895 words) by Fahye Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Love and Friendship (2016) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Sir James Martin, Lord Manwaring, Lady Susan Vernon Summary:

A selection from the Private Diary of Sir James Martin of Martindale. Concerning Peas, Friendship, the state of Blessed Matrimony, and several wonders of Modern Medicine.

What I liked: This is absolutely hilarious. The characterization is spot-on, and I laughed all the way through it.

Exclusive, Mutually (1507 words) by youjik33 Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Arrested Development Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: George Oscar "Gob" Bluth/Tony Wonder Characters: Michael Bluth, Lindsay Bluth Funke, George Oscar "Gob" Bluth, Tony Wonder Summary:

“You realize they’re only even having a wedding for the attention, right?” Michael asked.

Lindsay looked at him quizzically. “Well, yeah, why else?”

What I liked: This is an outsider pov on Gob and Tony Wonder's wedding. It's funny, and I also suggest listening to the mood music linked in the notes as you read.

Aviens Rex (1603 words) by sumeria Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: birdsrightsactivist (Twitter) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bird (birdsrightsactivist) & Original Character(s) Characters: Bird (birdsrightsactivist), Original Male Character(s), Original Child Character(s) Additional Tags: Twitter, Yuletide, epistolary?, no politics Summary:

In which Brad and Steve just want to have a picnic and a Tyrannosaurus is only another kind of bird.

What I liked: This is a very funny story told in tweets where we see both sides of Bird's interaction with a family having a picnic.

They Call it Undercover Work for a Reason (But Not That Reason) (8273 words) by greywash Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Spy (2015), Olympics RPF Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Nancy B. Artingstall & Susan Cooper, Susan Cooper/OFC, Susan Cooper/Nancy B. Artingstall/OFC (ish), Susan Cooper/Rick Ford, Susan Cooper/Rick Ford/Nancy B. Artingstall (ish), Nancy B. Artingstall/the Italian men's Olympic rowing team Characters: Susan Cooper (Spy 2015), Nancy B. Artingstall Additional Tags: Yuletide Treat, the olympics, Actual Bids for the 2024 Summer Olympics, (but everything else is made up), (definitely 100 percent made up), Los Angeles 2024, Paris 2024, Budapest 2024, international espionage, Adventure, The CIA: Have Fun and See Europe While Hitting Lots of Dudes in the Face, Rivalry, Hatesex, Alternate title: The Dr. Seuss Compendium of Hatesex, Would you do it on a plane?, Would you do it at a party?, Would you do it in an alley?, Would you do it on a Ferrari?, Cephalopods, Oh my God Rick Ford be better at your job, Susan and Nancy 2017 World Tour, I have 'friends' at the American embassy, Everything author knows about French accents they learned from Harry Potter IV, (sorry France), Irresponsible use of Google Translate, (sorry everyone), shh shh you have a head wound, maybe guest starring some famous person's second cousin once removed or something just because, also there's a yacht Summary:

"Cooper," says Crocker. "We've had word of an agent trying to undermine the American bid for the 2024 Summer Olympics."

"Do we care about the Olympics?" asks Nancy.

What I liked: This is exactly as absurd as a Spy story should be.

10 Things I Hate About Reunions (17278 words) by BryroseA Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kat Stratford/Patrick Verona Characters: Kat Stratford, Patrick Verona, Bianca Stratford Additional Tags: Partial epistolary - text messages, Post-Canon, the 2nd chapter is just the story stripped of all formatting for accessibility Summary:

Is there anyone less likely than Katerina Stratford to go to their high school reunion?

Well...maybe there is one person.

What I liked: I loved the mix of Kat and Bianca's relationship and the improbable coincidences that happen because of Bianca's scheming.

And All The Roads Are Blinding (7978 words) by moemachina Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kat Stratford/Patrick Verona Characters: Kat Stratford, Patrick Verona, Bianca Stratford, Cameron James Additional Tags: Lovers to Friends to Lovers, Sisterhood, Social Media, History of Technology Summary:

In the years after high school, Kat tentatively becomes friends with her ex-boyfriend Patrick. And then Bianca gets married.

What I liked: The slow reconnecting, and also the bits about Bianca's relationships with her exes.

Days Gone Down (1614 words) by Nomad Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Eroica Yori Ai o Komete | From Eroica with Love Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Klaus von dem Eberbach, Klaus von dem Eberbach's father, Dorian Red Gloria Additional Tags: Future Fic, Yuletide Treat Summary:

An aging Klaus has a conversation with his father.

What I liked: Aging, the connection between Klaus and his father, the mix of that serious conversation with the ridiculousness that (of course) occurs when Dorian shows up.

Friday Night Bracing for Monday (21485 words) by Addison R Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Good Will Hunting (1997) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Will Hunting/Chuckie Sullivan Characters: Chuckie Sullivan, Will Hunting, Morgan O'Mally, Billy McBride Additional Tags: Sharing Clothes, Happy Ending, Sharing a Bed, Postcards, Canon-typical language, Families of Choice, Past Violence, Past Child Abuse, Post-Movie(s), Yuletide 2016 Summary:

Chuckie grows up a little, and Will moves back to Boston.

What I liked: Stories about people growing up and getting their lives together are my faaaavorite.

The Dame's Only Doing It for that Doll (1561 words) by major_general Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Guys and Dolls - Loesser/Swerling/Burrows Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Sarah Brown/Sky Masterson Characters: Sky Masterson, Sarah Brown, Nicely-Nicely Johnson Additional Tags: Rule 63, Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sky Masterson, Misses Clause Challenge Summary:

Sgt. Sarah Brown runs a mission on her own terms in the years after agreeing to a Boston marriage with Sky Masterson.

What I liked: Lesbian Sky Masterson! Also the effect of a gangster and a missionary making a life together.

Renovation (2712 words) by faithfulcynic Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Practical Magic (1998) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Bridget "Jet" Owens, Frances Owens Additional Tags: Humor, Siblings, Magic, The House has Opinions, Franny watches HGTV, Jet wants another brownie Summary:

Every decade or so, Frances has the urge to renovate the House and every decade or so the House has other plans. Jet always gets caught in the middle.

What I liked: I enjoyed the House's personality and the battles it has with Frances.

Stories By Me

Every Single Holiday (4043 words) Fandom: Spy (2015) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Susan Cooper/Rick Ford Characters: Susan Cooper (Spy 2015), Rick Ford, Nancy B. Artingstall Additional Tags: Dick in a Box, 5+1 Things Summary:When it comes to gift-giving, Ford's repertoire is somewhat limited.

First Choices (2017 words) Fandom: Chalion Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: the Bastard (Chalion), Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting Summary:A growing number of L.G.B.T. Quintarians are choosing to devote themselves to gods other than the Bastard.

Life to the Kingdom (2097 words) Fandom: The Huntsman (Movies) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: The Huntsman/Sara (The Huntsman)/Snow White (The Huntsman), The Huntsman/Sara (The Huntsman), The Huntsman/Snow White (The Huntsman), Sara (The Huntsman)/Snow White (The Huntsman), Snow White/William (The Huntsman) Characters: The Huntsman (The Huntsman), Sara (The Huntsman), Snow White (The Huntsman), William (The Huntsman) Additional Tags: Threesome - F/F/M, Infidelity, Future Fic Series: Part 1 of The Huntsman: Future's Hope Summary:When the kingdom of the north had been freed and the mirror's shards taken to Sanctuary, Eric and Sara returned to Snow White's kingdom.

Hope Of Our Hearts (4031 words) Fandom: The Huntsman (Movies) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: The Huntsman/Sara (The Huntsman)/Snow White (The Huntsman), The Huntsman/Sara (The Huntsman), The Huntsman/Snow White (The Huntsman), Snow White/William (The Huntsman) Characters: Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Snow White (The Huntsman), William (The Huntsman), The Huntsman (The Huntsman), Sara (The Huntsman), Ravenna (The Huntsman) Additional Tags: Future Fic, Past Infidelity Series: Part 2 of The Huntsman: Future's Hope Summary: When the Heir to Snow White's kingdom, who was known to the people not only by her name of Hope but also as Hope-of-our-hearts, had reached her majority, word came from the kingdom to the east that they were being harried at their eastern border by an army of nearly supernatural strength.