#and overly aggressive problem.
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I present, my “father”! Dear people.
"I'm not the problem these kids are." -my “dad”
Note: me and my brothers are adolescent, all under the age of 17, he is an adult the age of 29-30(I don’t care to keep track.)
#My dad sucks#“I’m not the problem”#Says the problem#The immature#invasive#and overly aggressive problem.#FYI he’s my step-dad
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one of my housemates is so fucking sensitive it turns me into a person I do not like
#like i always thought /i/ was 'overly' sensitive but my god. you cannot say ANYTHING around her#every little thing is too much for her everything is a trigger everything makes her tell you it wasn't okay for you to say around her or not#warning her about first like my sister in christ how the fuck should i have known this was a problem for you#maybe print out a trigger list and send it to all of us or something#but breathing is probably on there so#truly i hate how i sound i don't want to be like this but she's just playing the victim so severely it makes me aggressive it's like. primal#and I don't care when she flees from the room all the time when we're just having normal conversations because honestly I'm glad when she's#gone but she projects her issues onto everyone and everything around her like she cannot comprehend that maybe she has a fucking problem and#should maybe learn to deal with the fucking world#people aren't horrible for simply existing around you being themselves like. ny god it just makes me so furious#like i am AWARE that i have deficits; things that are easy for other people or come natural to them that i have issues with and that's fine#I'm learning to live in my way#and i can still love myself and not blame myself for having these problems without turning everyone around me and the whole fucking world#into the problem instead#i don't know if I'm even conveying what i mean#it's just this fucking victim complex that's driving me up the walls#she sees herself as so innocent and actually she's treating people like shit#man do i wish i could smoke about this
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My Dear Brother in Christ...Look, I love you, but maybe stop and think about what you’re posting, okay? Is it gonna make someone go, “You know what? I was wrong! This blogger is so right!” or at least make them think about it a little more?
No? Than it’s probably not the most helpful thing to post, you still can, but let’s take it a step further...
Is it likely to push someone away from the Church? Is it worth posting just to get a laugh or nod of agreement out of your specific audience with that risk?
* le shrug *
#catholics#Christian#evangelization#catholicism#Christianity#i'm getting real tired of making these call out posts lol#i consider my blog an evangelization blog somewhat especially since anyone can see it#i keep seeing stuff and am like...okay...but is that helping?#i have the same problem with overly aggressive far far far leftists sometimes as they can be so aggressive and make you feel bad#idk how about we have helpful discourse instead being accusatory or dismissive?#just saaaaayyying XD#some of you are just as bad as people on facebook...some probably worse tbh#i'm sorry i feel like i'm sounding aggressive myself and i don't mean to be#and of course i don't think people are responsible for everyone's reactions but still
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adding these additions from @vaspider in the reblogs in because yes, allergies/celiac CAN actually be That Sensitive. two weeks ago I nearly had to go to the ER because I was in the same building as a popcorn machine dispensing buttered popcorn, using "dairy free" butter with artificial flavoring vaguely derived from casein/dairy butter for two minutes. i am allergic to the flu vaccine because the viruses are grown in chicken eggs. i am allergic to the very air in starbucks. my immune system can detect egg and dairy contamination in concentrations too small to be legally required to be labeled.
polyculture crops definitely are an improvement for the vast majority of people, but the impact on the minority people consists of symptoms ranging from "miserable and unable to work for a week" to "death". personally, I do support finding better/more sustainable agricultural practices to replace the Corn Monoculture TM, but it is in some cases a literal matter of life and death for products such as walnut-grown wheat and wheat-grown walnut to be clearly and properly labeled, and for those products to not be the only available and/or affordable options at any given grocery store.
#text posts#agriculture#allergies#food allergies#problems#for non allergy people (or at least non-off-the-charts-anaphylactic allergy people) of whom i assume OP is one#imagine there is a field of lets say. lettuce#and in order to combat an infestation the farmer has decided to cover the field in rat poison pellets 24/7 for the entirety of its growth#and by cover i mean those poor lettuces are barely poking out of the sea of poison. every small animal within a two mile radius is dead.#and then the farmer harvests it#and *separating large leafy plants from poison pellets is easy enough right?*#and now you're at the grocery store. you see the Rat Poison Lettuces.#there aren't any poison pellets in the display box as far as you can see#but would you really still eat the Rat Poison Lettuce -_-#'there is functionally no danger of cross contamination' and yet there is 'functionally' no danger of half the situations i have reacted to#IF YOU CANNOT SAY THERE IS *NO DANGER AT ALL* YOU NEED TO TREAT IT LIKE A POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS SITUATION#it is approximately a one in a million chance last i checked to have *any* reaction to flu virus egg protein residue#meanwhile i had Instant Anaphylaxis#nobody i live with can eat eggs or anything overly cheesy in the house.#i have my own set of dishes and if you use a pot for eggs or dairy that is forever an Allergy Pot#which must be washed and stored separately from everythign else and never again used for anything in proximity to my food#not to mention that ops second post focuses entirely on wheat-contaminated walnuts and not walnut-contaminated wheat#when celiac can be one of the most sensitive food related immune disorders#AND every subsequent allergic reaction can increase the severity of your next one.#within ten years i went from 'stomachache from eating a full plate of contaminated food'#to 'i breathed in One Oxygen that touched a cheese once and i am trying very hard not to die in the middle of the sidewalk'#if youre going to dismiss every single person in the reblogs mentioning severe allergy risks please go inhale rat poison /s#apologies if this comes off as overly aggressive. cross contamination keeps nearly killing me and i feel overly aggressive right now
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Next time I hear/read someone talking about having faith in humanity, I'll punch them, at the cost of breaking my hand.
#i wonder#yes i'm talking about the results of the elections which seem official#i'm not even talking about americans in particular#i mean we have fascists in charge in my country and we're not even the only one#as i already haven't felt like shit these days thanks to my period and personal problems#i woke up with pains all over and now this#added to all the awful things happening in the world every day with wars ongoing and natural calamities#and tragedies and shitty people fucking around#sorry i just feel particularly overwhelmed i have nowhere else to vent#i know i'm being overly aggressive and not all humanity deserves my distrust ofc but i need to let it out#i wish i could scream and break things but i can't
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home is where the weed is :-)
#freed from my in-laws wholesome but overly intense and passive aggressive Christmas celebration#and now im safe in the nonverbal parallel play stoner family home#my family has its problems but at least i feel no pressure to mask here#oh and there’s weed :)#r rambles
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JESUS FUCK WHY AM I SO FUCKING AGGRESSIVE WHEN IM PROTECTIVE!!!!!!!!!!!
#do any of you guys get overly aggressive when youre protecting someone??#basically what happened was.#i told one of my friends off out of anger over something between him and a friend#and now ive calmed down i feel so fucking bad#this is the problem i had when i was defending my friends from you know who when i was in the chip fandom#ugh i wanna cry#harmony squeaks
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Astrology observations-33
I notice a lot of Taurus moon/mars people tend to hoard a lot. I’ve seen ppl with this placement go thru periods in their life where they lost a lot of valuable things whether it be because of money issues of moving away or they may have had a period in their lives where material possessions were very scarce.
Venus in retrograde people tend to come off very cold in social situations. I’ve only seen a handful of ppl with this placement bc it’s quiet rare to find but I notice they tend to lack social graces so people assume they are rude☹️ but deep down these ppl are so shy and sweet. I also notice this is lowkey a beauty aspect like ppl with this placement be sooo FINE but they never see it themselves (similar to Venus square Ascendant)
Saturn square Venus synastry is SOOOO annoying to have for both parties. You both wanna connect badly but everytime you interact there’s this overly formal way you guys about things especially on Saturns end. These people are so attracted to eachother too but there’s always something that keeps you from really getting to know this person whether it be distance, vulnerability problems, communication barriers ect. It usually takes these people a long ass time to connect but when they do it’s so long lasting just takes a lot of trust.
Aries sun/venus tend to try to over dominate their partners and friends a lot. I notice these people always try to compete with others to prove their superiority. This can cause them to have a bully reputation.
Mars in Taurus’s tend to work best when they are working with their hands ESPECIALLY in nature. They are usually amazing farmers/gardeners.
Mars in 3rd house people tend to have a very intense relationship with their siblings. They usually grew up arguing with them a lot or not getting along. Could also indicate having aggressive siblings. Could have a lot of resentment towards them.
Dating a Sag Venus & Aqua Venus just feels like you’re being friendzoned😭
Scorpio moons tend to get really embarrassed when they act out of emotion (Scorpio suns too but Scorpio moons definitely take the cake) they can lose control of their emotions for a second then start ghosting you for like a year lmao.
Aquarius risings are all soo hottt but when you get to know them deeper your just kinda like “????” Uk
Aquarius suns tend to be the least ambitious. They aren’t as attached to money like most I notice. (Unless they got a lot of Taurus and Capricorn)
Virgo moons are such clean girls 🧼
Venus in the 7th house people (especially with libra in the big three) usually can’t be alone for too long. Needs a lot of romantic attention to function. I notice if they don’t get that they tend to lowkey self destruct and go back to toxic exes.
Venus in the 2nd house people have the best self esteem. People usually only associate this placement with finances but people forget 2nd house also rules self worth. When positively aspected these people have such a deep love for themselves which turns them into a magnet. However If underdeveloped they can be very pessimistic & greedy & attract a lot of narcissists that use them for their $$.
Aries sun Cap moon people tend to be bullies.
Lilith in Pisces people tend to victimize themselves in every situation where they may be viewed negatively. They hate being held accountable for their faults.
Aries placements love provoking people and pushing their buttons. They find it stimulating.
Do not argue with someone with a Virgo moon and Scorpio Mars unless you’re ready to cry your eyes out for months
Taurus moons are usually very shy especially with a water/earth mercury it can be harder for these people to make friends due to their fear of getting out their comfort zone. You usually have to be very patient with these people they scope you out for awhile before they decide they want to be friends. Be lucky if they pick you too cuz they are PICKY.
When a Scorpio rising is attracted to you they will STAREEE INTO YOUR EYES. They are the masters at silent seduction. They won’t be overly flirtatious but the minutes they look at you it’s like they’re looking into your soul. And while it can make your heart stop it is very intimidating at times. You see so much obsession in their eyes when they like you. But when they hate you it’s like you’re invisible to them they won’t even acknowledge your presence most of the time.
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🃏Endgame ♣️
Astrology Observations
♥ⓛⓞⓥⓔ♥☜♥ⓛⓞⓥⓔ♥☜♥ⓛⓞⓥⓔ♥☜
🃏 Lilith square/opposition/conjunct/quincunx Neptune, the native has a hard time to come with their sexual desires and sexual illusions, you may fear that your sexual desires won't come true
🃏 Lilith aspecting the Moon (all aspects) cannot handle liars, they hate the lies and won't accept the dear people in their lives lying to them
🃏 Sun harshly aspecting Saturn natives can have a hard time with their fathers, the father's behavior/personality/mood etc...
🃏 Inner Libra Placements such as Sun or Moon can tend to be "people pleaser" because they just wanna unite people and make them happy but they can fall under others people manipulation if they're not aware enough
🃏 People often call Gemini Placements as being "two faced" but they don't realize how hard it can be for them to show themselves to the world
🃏 Capricorn & Aquarius Placements aren't cold or mean they just don't wanna waste their energy and time with people who don't deserve it
🃏 If you are a woman and you have Lilith - Mars aspects you can often find men being misogynistic or close minded around you
🃏 The dark side of the Cancer Degrees 4°, 16° and the 28° is wounded feminine energy, it can be hard for them to be in this energy sometimes
🃏 Pluto in the 10H or at 10° or 22° degrees. People hate the authority and power you have upon some things in your life so take care for others to not ruin it
🃏 Capricorn Moons or Moon in the 10H or at 10° 22° degrees often hide their pain to not worry the people in their lvies
🃏 Moon sextile/trine/conjunct the Ascendant can make the native extremely caring, but one thing about them is that you can see through the people and their emotions/feelings and fears
🃏 When someone has their 8th house sign in the same sign as your Sun, you can have a hateful relationship at first
🃏 Neptune conjunct the ascendant natives often find themselves creating their own world in their head so they forget about the bad world they live in
🃏 When you have Lilith aspecting Sun or Saturn it can feel like people don't do justice for you do you have to fight for your own rights and your own justice
🃏 Lilith/Pluto or Saturn in the 4H or 12H house don't really like to talk about their past. They better keep it only for themselves
🃏 Pluto in the 7H can attract toxic partners and sometimes even manipulative ones. You need to have higher standards when it comes to your relationships
🃏 Pluto in the 9H makes the native sensitive to others people needs and feelings, they have a very powerful intuition and feel that
🃏 Chiron in Sagittarius or in the 9H can make you to hate your own religion system or belief, can make you be close minded or not that open to others opinions, sometimes your freedom can be taken away from you
🃏 Chiron in the 11H or Chiron in Aquarius natives often attract people who want or need healing then those people leave and they basically wasted their energy to heal others for nothing
🃏 Uranus in your 2H, sometimes money come unexpectedly in your life. Sometimes they will leave. You need create a balance for your money
🃏 Virgo in the 4H natives can grow up in nurturing/naturist homes, where probably the mother had a naturist medicine for everything
🃏 The dark side of having Capricorn degrees in your chart such as 10° and 22° degrees can make you to feal weak instead of strong or powerful
🃏 Having heavy 6H placements or stelium can make the native to have a draining everyday life, you need a break and a hug for sure
🃏 Ascendant aspecting Pluto or Saturn can make you to be intimidating to others, sometimes even scary
🃏 Chiron in the 1st/2nd or 12th house have other people projecting their problems in these native's lives
🃏 Aries or Mars in your 3rd house may cause you to be overly aggressive or impulsive in communication and learning, your assertive personality may appear domineering to others
🃏 Jupiter in the 7th house natives can be the most happiest in their relationships/with their partners
🃏 Jupiter trine/sextile/conjunct Ascendant makes you a generous, supportive, and enthusiastic person. With physical good looks, charm, and an engaging personality
🃏 Natives with the Mercury in the 11th house or Mercury in Aquarius it fills their lives with peace also Mercury in the 11th house makes the native very friendly and loved among the people.
🃏 Mercury or Mars in the 9H or in Sagittarius good at mastering more or multiple languages
🃏 Uranus in the 12th house is a placement of intense transformation and spiritual growth. People with Uranus in the 12th house often find themselves exploring the unknown and pushing boundaries.
🃏 Chiron in the 5th house natives emphasizes themes related to creativity, self-expression, and romance and also self acceptance is very important for them
🃏 Chiron in Taurus natives brings a greater sense of neglect, especially about valuing themselves and their worth
🃏 Cancer MIDHEAVEN/Cancer in the 5th house/Cancer Moon are good indicators if you want to work as a teacher/pedagogue
🃏 Uranus square Midheaven makes the native fiercely independent and rebellious with almost everyone in their lives
🃏 Moon conjunct/trine/sextile Jupiter amplifies the native's intuition, wisdom and creativity. Is a great placement for discovering yourself
🃏 In my opinion I think the most luckiest time in your life astrologically talking is when Jupiter returns back into the sign where it was when you were born
🃏 Sun-Pluto aspects can indicate being exploited when young/maybe in childhood or in young ages
🃏 Pluto in the 11H natives can often be misunderstood by people, sometimes even by their friends or close people
🃏 Chiron square/opposite/quincunx Venus can have a hard time to express their feelings fearing they'll be rejected or simply out of embarrassment
🃏 Chiron in the 3rd house can get verbal bullying by other people, is important to not care about the harsh words and to not take them to heart
🃏 Having part of Fortune in the 10 H or in Capricorn indicates that a greater sense of happiness and contentment can come more easily through your achievements
♥ⓛⓞⓥⓔ♥☜♥ⓛⓞⓥⓔ♥☜♥ⓛⓞⓥⓔ♥☜
Harmoonix ♥️♥️❤️
#astrology#astro observations#birth chart#astrology observations#astro community#placements#astro notes#horoscope#ascendant#astroblog#astro#astro seek#astro com#asteroids#asteroid observations
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sure thing – part one.
pairing: yang jungwon x f reader
genre: coworkers au, underground boxer jungwon
part one word count: 12.9k
warnings: swearing, descriptions/depictions of physical violence, blood and minor injuries, jealousy, a bit of a love triangle I’m SORRY, blonde boxer jungwon because yes I think that does warrant a warning, I had to split this into 2 parts because post block limit got me everyone say BOOOOO TUMBLR!!!!!!
note: this is what happens when you watch the no doubt music video and then also listen to too much chase atlantic. ALSO let me duck before the sacred monsters readers start throwing tomatoes at me I PROMISE I am working on part 4 I just... had this idea and it would not leave me alone. but cheers to another fantastic enhypen release (daydream and no doubt are both on repeat for meeeeee) and to my first jungwon fic. enjoy!
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An employee in the marketing department of a large company, your days are filled with poorly worded emails, unrealistic deadlines, and passive aggressive friendly reminders from your superiors. On a particularly awful afternoon, a chance encounter with a coworker from the programming department down the hall is the first thing to make you smile in weeks.
But the more you uncover about Yang Jungwon and his mysterious injuries, flimsy excuses, and always occupied Friday nights, the more you begin to realize that you really don’t know him at all.
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The printer is jammed.
It takes a very exaggerated eye roll and an embarrassing amount of self control to refrain from kicking the damn thing. Besides, you’re pretty sure your previous wording was too kind.
Because a more accurate depiction of the situation would be:
The printer is jammed. Again.
You’re not sure which cruel deity is responsible for the creation of Monday afternoons, but you’re sure they’re laughing at you now. Dressed in business casual and praying against all odds that the clock hanging on the office wall will start ticking a little faster, you almost wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole. Spare you from your misery
And it’s not like a jammed printer is the end of the world. From a logical, unbiased point of view, you’re sure it’s nothing but a small, easily solvable problem.
But it’s four pm on a Monday afternoon and you’ve had back-to-back meetings since you clocked in at eight this morning. The only real break you had lasted twelve minutes. Most of which were spent dabbing coffee stains from your blouse after Terry from accounting knocked into you in the staff kitchen.
Your head is pounding and your feet are aching and your bladder is overly full and your left bra strap is starting to dig into your shoulder in a way that is entirely too overstimulating.
And you really, really just need this report to print.
After all, your boss made it very clear that you would not be clocking out for the day, no matter what hour of the evening it is, until said document is laid on his desk. Never mind the fact that you weren’t made aware of this demand until a handful of hours ago.
So yeah, the printer jamming – again – does kind of feel like the end of the world.
The screen is still flashing with an angry reminder to fix the paper jam in Tray 2. The instructions are starting to blur a little as you furiously blink away hot tears.
You won’t cry at work. You won’t.
But your exhaustion is catching up with you, and the first thing it usually takes with it is your control over your emotions.
The more you try to will them away, the more insistently they want to escape.
Bent over the printer, you’re in the middle of trying to dislodge a particularly stubborn piece of A4 when the first tear finally does escape. It falls in a thick, wet train down the length of your cheek, settling for a moment at the base of your chin before dripping, a little pathetically, right onto the stack of papers in the printer tray.
Your hands go slack on the sheet you’re warring with.
For a moment, all you can do is sigh. Hang your head and hope some higher power takes pity on you.
Stressed, burnt out, overworked. This was not how you thought you’d be spending your early twenties. But a salary is a salary, and fighting with an inanimate object on the worst day of the week keeps your lights on and your stomach full.
Hunched over, you’re suddenly glad that the printer is kept in a separate room outside of the main office space. That there are no witnesses to your slightly pathetic meltdown.
Save for a few, it’s not like you care all that much about what your coworkers think of you. But the last thing you need to add to this day is a fresh bout of humiliation.
Just one more minute, you tell yourself. One more minute of silence before you pull yourself together and finish dislodging the stupid piece of paper.
It must be at least 4:10 by now, which means you have less than an hour to go. You can do it. You can. You just need one more minute of silen–
“Everything okay?”
The sudden intrusion is so startling that your head jerks up in a subconscious reaction. Only, of course, to be met with the open printer tray you’re currently trying to troubleshoot.
The clunk that echoes through the tiny printer room as your temple comes in direct contact with hard plastic is almost as loud as it is painful.
“Ah,” you wince, hand instinctively flying to the side of your head.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, ____.” You’re not sure if your hesitation comes from embarrassment or the fact that you head is still spinning. Either way, you’re slow to move as you look up at your sudden audience.
Over your shoulder, Yang Jungwon has nothing but apologies written all over his delicate features. Brow pulling into a concerned frown, he’s quick to kneel to your level.
If anyone was going to find you like this, you suppose you’re glad it was him. A recent hire fresh out of university, Jungwon has carved out a quiet kind of reputation for himself in the office.
His presence isn’t commanding, but it is steady. The kind of person that you never see get worked up or angry or even annoyed no matter how many last minute deadlines are assigned or how many printers get jammed when he really needs to use them.
And from what you’ve gathered, he mostly keeps to himself. It’s not from a lack of effort on your coworkers’ behalf. You know firsthand that he’s been invited to multiple post work gatherings and weekend events.
His popularity doesn’t exactly surprise you. Even with his quiet demeanor, he has a striking presence. One that makes you curious, leaves you wanting to know more.
Never mind the fact that he’s absolutely gorgeous.
Still, despite their efforts, you also know that he’s politely declined each and every invitation without ever giving any real explanation.
In all honesty, you’ve always just assumed there was a girlfriend he was eager to run home to.
But even that is nothing more than a mindless assumption. After all, you’ve only had a few interactions with him, and nothing beyond the typical small talk all office workers develop a talent for.
Even now, he makes the simple button down and slacks he’s wearing look like they came right from a runway.
You’re not quite sure why, but it almost makes you want to cry harder.
At the very least, you’re pretty sure you don’t need to worry about rumors of you having a minor meltdown in the printer room spreading through the office. Jungwon might be a hot topic of office gossip, but he’s not one to spread it.
“I am so sorry,” he repeats, “I didn’t mean to startle you.” His words are spilling out a bit too fast, blurring into each other around the edges. “I just saw you in here, and I couldn’t tell if you were okay or not, so I wanted to–”
“Jungwon,” you interrupt. There’s no kind way of telling him that his rambling is only making your headache worse. That it’s only making your tears fall faster. Instead, you abet his misplaced guilt. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”
A bit shakily, you muster up your most convincing smile. But your smudged mascara, slightly puffy eyelids, and still visible tear track suggest otherwise.
Jungwon’s brow just pulls together a little further. “Are you sure?” He’s unconvinced. Taking a wary glance at the printer tray, he looks back to you with concern in his eyes. “That sounded like it hurt.”
“Really,” you force another weak smile. “I’m sure.”
“Can I at least take a look at it?” Guilt is still written plain as day across his face.
Assuming he’s referring to the printer, you nod before taking one big scooch to the side. Within the confines of this tiny room, it only puts you closer to him.
And it takes less than a second for you to realize your assumption was wrong. Because Jungwon doesn’t reach for that stupid piece of A4 still jammed inside Tray 2 or even the printer tray that just nearly concussed you.
No, instead, his long fingers trek a steady path towards your hand. The one that still rests against your temple. Gently, he pries it away, replacing it with his own careful touch.
You’re all but immobile as gentle fingers press lightly against the side of your face, adjusting it slightly. His fingers are cool, soothing as he turns your injury towards the overhead light.
Pliant in his hands, it’s all you can do to watch as his brow furrows in concentration, eyes scanning over your skin. Taking the skin of your bottom lip between your teeth, you pray he doesn’t notice the sudden heat in your cheeks.
From this angle, with this proximity, you can practically count his eyelashes. They’re long, you notice. Long and wispy where they frame his dark eyes.
“No broken skin,” he finally asserts. You can feel his breath against your skin. It takes nearly all your concentration to suppress the shiver that threatens to trace your spine. “But I wouldn’t be surprised if it bruises. There’s a bit of swelling, too. Keep an eye on it these next few days, and let me know if it doesn’t go down on its own.”
You’re not exactly sure if Jungwon – quiet, gentle Jungwon – would be the first person you’d go to for first aid advice, but you nod anyway.
And you’re not sure where it comes from, the sudden urge to cry again. But somewhere between the pain in your head and the soft probing of his fingers against your skin, emotions are starting to bubble beneath your stoic facade.
It’s subtle, barely perceivable, but you can feel your bottom lip beginning to quiver.
Much to your unending humiliation, you’re not the only one who notices.
You’re not sure how he does, but he does.
“Hey,” Jungwon tries. His hand is still on your face. His voice is impossibly soft, and it only makes you want to cry harder. You feel like a skittish kitten he’s trying to lure in from a rainstorm.
His lips part as if he’s going to continue. They fall shut again before he can.
Something in his brow softens. Concern is replaced with empathy.
Hand falling back to his side, he suddenly changes the subject. “You’re in the marketing department, right?”
Lips still trembling, you turn your eyes towards the floor before giving him a small nod.
From this angle, the only thing you see are his shoes. Standard leather work shoes, they’re slightly scuffed where they rest against the carpet.
They still look formal, of course. Nothing that would raise any eyebrows in a professional setting. And from far away, you’re sure they appear pristine.
But from this close, you can make out all sorts of rough edges. Little marks and dents and scuffs that serve as evidence of where he’s been.
“Why don’t you head home for the day,” Jungwon suggests gently from above you. “I’ll let your team and your supervisor know that you’re not feeling well.”
You take a deep breath, do your best to make sure your voice is steady before you respond. Shaking your head, you point out, “It’s almost the end of the day anyway–”
“Exactly,” Jungown nods, kind but firm. “There’s nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow.”
“Actually,” you grimace, trying not to let the truth inspire another round of tears. “I need the report I was trying to print. I have to turn it in before I leave today.”
There’s a beat of silence. You’re worried that Jungwon will keep offering you too much kindness, so you rush to fill it. “It’s fine, though. I think the paper jam is almost fixed, and I already sent the report to the printer, so I’m sure it will come through in a minute–”
“Perfect,” Jungwon interrupts again. “I’ll take it to your boss, then. Alan, right? I’ve spoken with him before. I’ll also let him know that you went home for the day.”
“Jungwon, you don’t have to–”
“I know.” At the interruption, your eyes snap back to him. There’s an intensity in his eyes when you match his gaze. Something so sincere that it’s hard to look away. Even though you know your eyes are still shiny with tears you wish you’d hidden better. Even if the stress and exhaustion and weariness are probably written plain as day across your features.
“I know,” he repeats. “I want to. Go home and get some rest, okay?”
It’s probably stupid, to agree so easily. But something in his eyes has you believing, even if just for a moment, that everything will be just fine if you do what he suggests. That all of your concerns and worries will work themselves out and you’ll be able to come into the office tomorrow feeling refreshed for once. For the first time in a long time.
So you nod. You let him help you up off the floor and don’t bother hiding your face as you wipe the last of your unshed tears from your eyelashes. It probably only smudges your mascara further, but you can’t find it in yourself to care about that, either.
The printer is still jammed and your report isn’t turned in and you’ll have to walk past your entire team back to your desk to get your things on your way out.
But for this fleeting moment, those worries feel small. Distant. Manageable. Able to be tucked away and saved for later.
You still don’t know much about Jungwon. The only knowledge you have comes from speculation and wishful thinking. But now, more than ever, you really wish you knew something of substance.
But you have no idea how to tell him that. Don’t know if you even should. So instead, you say what you can.
“Thank you, Jungwon.”
For a moment, all he does is smile. It’s small, but it reaches his eyes. Makes them sparkle a little brighter.
His voice, like the rest of him, is gentle when he says, “Sure thing, ___.”
…..
Despite the fact that it accounts for roughly eighty percent of your job, you prefer to avoid your email inbox like the plague.
Most days, by the time you do get around to checking it, it’s already jam packed with unreasonable requests and last-minute changes and passive aggressive friendly reminders from your superiors.
When you sit down at your desk on Tuesday morning, you’re extra reluctant. After the printer fiasco yesterday, you’re feeling particularly sensitive to all of the potential bullshit. And you have the distinct feeling that a rather nasty message about leaving the office early unannounced is surely waiting for you.
But the inevitable can only be delayed so long. With a wince and a final swig of coffee, you muster the courage to give the mail icon on your desktop a double click.
The top of your inbox is filled with the usual nonsense. A request for a meeting tomorrow morning on a project idea you’ve had finalized for months. An RSVP form for the optional, but highly encouraged, upcoming staff party. A reminder from your boss that final quarterly reports need to be submitted by Friday at the latest.
A few lines down, though, something out of the ordinary catches your eye. Checking the time stamp, you see that it was sent right as the day started.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Printer Issue Follow-Up
Contemplating for a moment, you frown. The first floor of Vesselsoft is no stranger to printer jams. They’re typical occurrences, not major problems to be resolved via email. You didn’t think there was a printer issue to follow up on.
But it’s far more intriguing than anything else on your work account. So, ignoring all of the other messages, you open the email from Jungwon.
Good morning ____,
I hope you’re doing well. I wanted to let you know that the workroom printer jam has been fixed, and your report was delivered safe and sound yesterday evening. I also wanted to check in and see how your head is feeling.
Best,
Jungwon
You reread it. Once. Twice.
It’s a simple message, all things considered. But it has you searching for subtext where there likely isn’t any. If anything, this serves as a confirmation of what you already knew about Jungwon.
He’s kind. Considerate. The type of person that would help you fix a jammed printer and check in on you the next morning. Right when he clocks in.
The type that could probably tell that your head was the least of your concerns yesterday, but still chooses to ask how you’re doing without drawing excess attention to it.
For a moment, you almost wish he would make a habit of attending after hours work events. You have the distinct feeling that sucking up to your superiors would be a little less awful if someone like him was around to do it with you.
From: You
Subject: Re: Printer Issue Follow-Up
Good morning Jungwon,
Thank you for resolving that printer issue! And thank you for checking in. My head is feeling much better today.
Thanks again,
____
After a final once over, you press the send button, watching as the animation shows the message flying out from your inbox.
You imagine it flying into his. It’s subconscious, the way you start to picture what his face will look like when he sees it.
You know he’s in the programming department, which is on the same floor as your office. Honestly, you’re a bit surprised you haven't seen him around more.
Will he smile, you wonder. Will he have that same, gentle fondness in his eyes he seems to carry with him everywhere?
You don’t get an answer to that particular question, but you do learn that Jungwon is an incredibly prompt communicator.
It’s barely been ten minutes before your inbox is chiming again.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Printer Issue Follow-Up
Sure thing, ___. Glad to hear it.
Jungwon
You can’t hide the small smile that threatens to turn the corners of your lips upward. It’s not like he’s done anything particularly groundbreaking. But even bits of kindness have become a bit of a rarity for you these days.
You can’t think of anyone else in the office that would insist on sending you home thirty minutes early and offer to finish up your work for you. You can’t think of anyone else who would have navigated yesterday’s fiasco with as much gentle care as he did.
You can’t remember the last time someone bothered to consider you. To lighten your load when they noticed you starting to sink under the weight of it.
So you’re smiling. Despite the fact that it’s still a Tuesday morning and you have a long week ahead of you. Despite the fact that you’re still very much locked into a job you mostly despise.
Mentally, you make a note to give some gesture of your gratitude. To do something that will brighten his day a bit, too.
But you don’t know him. Don’t know how he takes his coffee or if he has a favorite brand of ballpoint pen or if he could use an extra favor from someone in the marketing department. All the sorts of things that coworkers do to show a little bit of appreciation.
But the universe, at least in part, seems to be on your side today.
When you head into the staff kitchen for your mid-morning coffee refill, you find it already occupied.
It’s a bit ridiculous, the way you suddenly feel flustered. Have the urge to smooth your hair, fix your blouse.
He has his back turned to you, and it takes you nearly half a minute of contemplation to decide whether or not to say something. In the end, the decision is made for you.
Your phone lights up with an urgent request that you check over the second half of the report you – well, Jungwon – submitted last night.
Sighing, you turn away from the kitchen. Your second cup of coffee, and a conversation with a certain programmer, will just have to wait.
You do, however, notice one last thing before you go. Watching silently, you can’t help but smile a bit as you watch Jungwon add two sugar packets to his mug.
Sweet, you think. Just like him. And now you have at least one bit of information to work with.
After submitting the edits on your report, you decide to use your recently earned knowledge. Deciding that he’s worth the splurge, you open the delivery page of the cafe down the street, the one that’s ridiculously overpriced but undoubtedly makes the best coffee in the area.
And when you order it in his name, a hot coffee with two sugars, you ask the barista to attach a note.
Thank you again for yesterday. I hope this is how you like your coffee!
An hour later, your inbox chimes with another message.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Thank You
You’re too kind, ____. Thank you for the coffee. How did you know just how I like it?
All the best,
Jungwon
If his words make you smile a little too hard, well, you figure no one ever has to know.
The universe, however, would seem to have other plans.
Of everyone in the marketing department, you find your coworker Grace to be the most bearable. A few years older than you, she was by far the most welcoming when you joined the team.
And you have the sneaking suspicion she has just as much disdain for your supervisor as you, even if the two of you have never openly discussed it.
Unfortunately, she does have the fatal flaw of never being able to finish her work day without getting herself involved in someone else’s business. For the most part, you’re spared from her nosiness.
Mostly because your life doesn’t carry the same flair for drama that she loves most. But today, she decides to give it a shot anyway.
Standing behind your office chair, she nearly startles you out of your seat when she asks, “Who’s got you smiling like that?”
Closing the email as quickly as you can, you turn to face her.
“No one.” It’s too rushed, too evasive. She sees right through it.
“Mhmm.”
Heat rising in your cheeks, you double down. “No, really.” Scrambling for a lie, your eyes land on one of your desk photos. One that shows your childhood cat, affectionately named Mr. Snuggles by your elementary school self. “I just heard from the vet that my cat is feeling a lot better. I was worried she was really sick.”
It’s a bold faced lie. Mr. Snuggles has been dead since your third year of high school.
“Ah,” Grace says. Her features fall slightly as she realizes she won’t be getting a worthy scoop from you. Realizing that’s probably not an appropriate reaction, she forces a smile. “That’s great! I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks,” you nod, hoping it will mark the end of the conversation.
But Grace isn’t quite ready to let it go. “That does remind me, though. I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”
Uh oh.
“You’re not seeing anyone, right?” You’re not sure how a sick cat would remind her of your dating life, but you suppose there are larger mysteries to be solved.
And on second consideration – oh. Is it really that obvious? “No,” the syllable drags as you attempt to tread carefully. “Why?”
Grace shrugs, but the conversation feels more calculated than nonchalant. “I was at my friend’s baby shower a couple of weeks ago, and her younger brother just moved back to the city. He’s been living abroad since high school. He’s around your age and a total catch. I didn’t talk to him much, but he reminded me of you a bit. I think the two of you would get on.”
“Oh,” is all you say. Your uncertainty must be written all over your features, because Grace is quick to continue.
“No pressure, of course. But let me know if you’d like me to pass his number along.”
Do you? It’s been ages since you went on a date. And even longer since you went on a date with someone you’d describe as a total catch.
And apparently, your single-ness is painfully visible to the people around you if Grace was able to pick up on it so easily.
Besides, it might be nice, you think. To have a conversation with someone that isn’t about quarterly reports or upcoming deadlines or jammed printers.
But then your mind wanders to the last conversation you had about a jammed printer. To a set of pretty, dark eyes and a pair of gentle hands.
To a string of email conversations that don’t really mean anything. But you almost wish they did.
It’s messy, you think. Far from ideal. JUngwon might not be in your department, but he still works just down the hall. Inter company relationships aren’t forbidden, but they do carry a certain amount of risk.
Jungwon isn’t petty. He wouldn’t make your life a living hell if things were to end badly. But you might start feeling awkward in the staff kitchen and you might have to start timing your walks to the parking lot so that they don’t coincide with his.
Small adjustments. Minor inconveniences more than anything.
Besides, it’s all conjecture.
You can count the conversations you’ve had with Jungwon on your fingers, and the majority have been channeled through your work email.
It’s hardly romantic.
But even as you try to see things from a detached, logical perspective, one thought keeps swimming back to you.
You think you could talk about jammed printers forever, as long as it was with him.
Sighing, your heart can’t decide if it wants to sink to your stomach or crawl up your throat at the realization.
Turning back to Grace, you just offer her a tight smile. “I’ll let you know.”
…..
In the coming weeks, your coincidental run-ins with Jungwon start to become more and more frequent.
First, it’s the two of you just so happening to need a coffee refill at the same time. When your path cross in the staff kitchen, you raise an eyebrow at the sugar packets he adds to his mug and he shakes his head as you take a long sip of your plain, bitter drink of choice.
Then, it’s the morning in the parking lot when the two of you just so happen to arrive at the same time, pulling into adjacent parking spots. His smile is gentle, albeit a bit sleepy, when he bids you, “Good morning.”
Your heart flutters a bit when you return the sentiment. You do your best to ignore it.
Next, you stumble across him in the staircase on an otherwise quiet afternoon. This time, however, he’s already deep in another conversation. Or, you realize at second glance, trying very hard to wiggle his way out of another conversation.
For all intents and purposes, Jenna from the legal department is a sweet girl. A bit overbearing at times and doesn’t always take well to being told no, but she’s harmless for the most part. Smart and driven and you admit a little glumly, quite pretty.
Even underneath the overhead fluorescents in the stairway, she manages to avoid looking washed out.
They’re already talking by the time you get there, and the only thing you catch is the tail end of their rather one-sided conversation.
“It’s a great place, really,” Jenna insists, smiling a little too brightly. “And the food is to die for. They’re always running really unique specials. I think you’d really like it.”
And you could just turn around and pretend not to have seen anything. You could just take the elevator instead. In fact, you probably should.
But suddenly, it’s as if your shoes have been filled with lead. Feet frozen to the earth, all you can do is watch.
“Oh,” Jungwon reaches for the back of his neck. “Thanks for thinking of me, Jenna, but I don’t think I’ll be able to make it.”
“Oh, really?” she pouts. “Is there another night that would work bett–”
“Jungwon!” Your voice is too loud, reverberating off the walls of the stairway in a way that has two pairs of eyes immediately darting towards you. And interrupting had seemed like a good idea a few seconds ago, but now you realize your fatal mistake.
You have no plan. No idea what to say next.
Still, you force a smile. “Just the person I was looking for.”
You don’t think you’re imagining it, the immediate wash of relief that colors Jungwon’s features.
“Hey, ___,” Jenna waves, a bit dejectedly. She doesn’t exactly look pleased to see you, and you can’t really blame her. “Could you give us a minute? I was just in the middle of–”
“Sorry, Jenna,” you shake your head. “This is kind of urgent.”
“Right,” Jungwon nods, looking at you again. “We’d better go then.”
“But I–”
“See you around, Jenna.” You’re tone is too bright as you spin around, making a beeline back towards the door. A flicker of satisfaction warms in your chest when you realize Jungwon is right on your heels.
He waits until the two of you are back in the empty hallway, closed door serving as a barrier between you and Jenna, before he speaks.
Looking at you, he quirks his head to the side. “So, what’s the urgent thing you need help with?”
Oh. Right.
Sighing, you decide honesty, or at least partial honesty, might be your best bet.
“Sorry,” your smile is sheepish, “did I read that wrong? There’s nothing urgent. I just…” you trail off, searching for the words. “It just looked like you might have needed an exit.”
For a moment, he says nothing. The silence gives your mind too much room to spin
Maybe you did read things wrong. Maybe he was enjoying a perfectly pleasant conversation with perfectly pleasant Jenna. Maybe he was looking forward to going to a nice restaurant with her and trying all sorts of unique specials and–
“Thank you.”
“What?”
Jungwon’s eyes soften. If you didn’t know any better, you’d almost describe his expression as… fondness. “An exit,” he clarifies. “I did need one. So thank you.”
“Right.” Your voice is suddenly breathless, and you can’t think of a good excuse for it. Feigning a nonchalance you don’t feel, you wave off his gratitude, “Anytime.”
“Careful,” Jungwon warns, but the same hint of teasing, the same glimmer of affection, is still there. “I just might take you up on that.”
“It’s a good thing I meant it, then.”
Jungwon’s features soften into a smile. A small one, meant just for the two of you. Reaching up, he pushes a stray strand of hair from his eyes.
It’s only natural that you follow the movement. His hands are nice, you think. Long, lithe fingers, and–
You frown, eyes zeroing in on the knuckles of his right hand.
Bruises, you realize. Dark, purple bruises span the length of his knuckles. Angry and mottled and from what you can tell, recent.
And so many. You can’t imagine what he could have possibly done to earn them.
Gaze still trained on the injury, your eyes widen. “Are you okay?”
It’s Jungwon’s turn to be confused. “What?”
“Your hand,” you nod at it. “Are those bruises?”
“Oh.” He shrugs, brushes it off like it’s nothing. But his hand falls to his side, obscured from your sight, all the same. “Yeah, I just slipped the other day trying to hang a picture in my apartment. The frame caught me funny when it fell.”
“You… slipped.”
Your disbelief must be apparent, because Jungwon is quick to add, “My hand slipped, really. My phone started ringing, and it caught me off guard.”
“Ouch,” you grimace. “That sounds like it hurt.”
Again, Jungwon shrugs. But his eyes are doing that thing again. Sparkling. “It’s not so bad.”
“Still,” you insist. “You should be more careful.”
“Yeah,” Jungwon agrees. It’s just the two of you, alone in a dimly lit hallway. His gaze is trained on yours. The distance between you is respectable, appropriate. Suggests that the two of you are coworkers and nothing more. But you have the distinct feeling that he’s not entirely talking about hanging pictures when he says, “I probably should.”
…..
The next morning, Grace is the first person you see as you walk into the office. And she’s already waiting for you. As soon as you come in, she hands you a coffee with an apologetic smile.
“Uh oh.” You hang your coat, accepting the cup from her hands. It’s not unusual to receive coffee from a coworker, but it usually comes as a form of consolation. “What’s this for?”
“It’s from Alan, actually.”
Your lips flatten. “That doesn’t make me feel better.”
“It’s not that bad, really.” Grace’s smile is less than convincing. “He just wants us all to get together this Friday night after work at that bar down the street. Y’know, to network.”
You groan internally. There go your plans for a relaxing Friday at home.
“How is it networking if it’s just our team? We see each other every day.”
“That’s the other part,” Grace nods towards the cup in your hand. “Didn’t you notice he pulled out all the stops? That’s from the shop down the road. The one that charges eleven dollars for a small latte.”
“Oh god,” you groan, this time audibly. “What else does he want?”
“We’ve all been strongly encouraged to invite people from different teams around the company.”
You suppress a strong urge to roll your eyes. “Of course we have.”
Privately, you think that if Alan wants to network so bad, he should be responsible for creating the guest list himself. Outwardly, you just sigh.
As if you didn’t have enough on your plate already. Now you need to schmooze some other poor employee into wasting their Friday night talking about work.
Sitting down at your desk, you take a sip of your coffee. It is admittedly delicious. The thought only makes you want to bang your head on your keyboard even more.
The problem of finding a plus one follows you all the way through the afternoon. All the way to the workroom, where you once again stumble into a certain blonde programmer that’s beginning to feel like part of your daily routine.
This time, Jungwon is alone.
He’s frowning at the printer, brow furrowed.
“Don’t tell me it’s jammed.”
When he sees that it’s you, his features immediately soften. He smiles and something tugs at your heart. It’s enough to have you forgetting about Friday night, even if just for a moment.
“No, thankfully. My computer just doesn’t seem to want to connect to this printer.”
“Mm,” you hum. “Send it to me, and I’ll try printing from mine.”
Jungwon shakes his head. “You don’t have to do that. I’ll just go up to the accounting department and try their printer.”
“Jungwon,” you level him with a look. “You are the last person to be telling me I don’t have to do you a favor. It’s really no problem. Just send it over.”
“Okay,” he finally relents.
Waiting for it to ping through on your end, an idea suddenly strikes you. You’re not sure if it’s a good one or if your judgment is starting to be warped by all of the toner cartridge fumes, but here, in a quiet workroom with nothing but Jungwon and a half-working printer to keep you company, you find a bit of your bravery.
“I know this probably isn’t your idea of a perfect evening,” you start. Your words feel too loud in this tiny space. “But the marketing team is getting together after work for drinks this Friday night. We’re also encouraged to branch outside of our department and invite other company employees, so if you’re free, we’d love to have you.” The more you say, the worse it sounds to your own ears. Why would anyone, much less Jungwon, want to come to a work event for the marketing team. Suddenly embarrassed you even brought it up, you find yourself rambling. “The bar is actually pretty nice. It’s not super fancy or anything, but it has, uh, really great chandeliers. It’s a nice ambience, and–”
“___.” Jungwon interrupts with the sound of your name.
“Yeah?” You’re trying not to sound too hopeful, but you have the distinct feeling that you fail miserably. Despite your hesitance, you realize something.
You want him to say yes.
You want him to give you a different response than he gives everyone else. A different response than he gave Jenna.
You want him to say yes, even though no one wants to go to a work event for the marketing team on a Friday night.
You want him to say yes anyway, because it’s you.
“I’d love to, really.” He reaches up, scratching at the back of his neck. “But I’m busy Friday night.”
Short. Succinct. To the point. He doesn’t spare any extra details.
You already knew it was a long shot. But it stings all the same.
You wanted to be the exception to the rule. Someone that would finally get him to say yes. Or at the very least, someone he would bother to give an actual reason for his absence to.
“Oh.” Your voice is smaller than you mean for it to be. “Of course!” And now it’s too loud, too bright. You can’t find the happy medium, can’t find your natural tone. “I’m sure whatever it is will be way more fun, anyway.”
Jungwon just gives you a small smile, not bothering to affirm or refute your assumption. Not deigning to add any more details.
It kind of makes you wish that the ground would open up and swallow you whole.
“Well, I should probably get back to my desk.” You don’t know why you’re scrambling for excuses. Jungwon clearly doesn’t feel the need to provide any. “Did everything print okay?” You nod towards the small stack of papers in his hands.
Jungwon is still looking at you. His lips part, as if he wants to say something. Brow creased, it’s as if he’s at war with himself. As if he can’t decide what to say or how to say it.
After a beat, his mouth falls shut again. He gives a minute shake of his head. You watch as his hair sways in time with the movement.
“Yeah,” he tells you. But he still hasn’t bothered to look down at the document between his fingers. “Everything printed fine.”
“Okay.” You nod again. “Good.” Your voice sounds hollow in your ears. “Well, I’ll see you around, then.”
I’ll see you around?
I’ll see you around?
It takes all of your willpower not to cringe outwardly. It’s the most awkward, stilted thing you could have possibly said, but you’re not sure how else to fill the stifling silence.
“Of course,” Jungwon nods. “Have a good day, ____.” The worst part is that he looks like he genuinely means it. “And enjoy your Friday night.”
“Right.” Your smile is feeble, doesn’t reach your eyes. “You too.”
You’re so caught up in your own humiliation that you don’t notice the way his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes either. “Sure thing.”
…..
Changing your clothes in the last stall of the office bathroom kind of feels like a new low for you. But by the time Friday evening comes around, the last thing you want to do is attend a mandatory – scratch that, highly encouraged – work event at a bar still wearing your blazer and slacks.
The jeans and sweater you replace them with are still nice by any standard, but they’ll feel a bit less stifling after a handful of drinks.
Grace, at least, seems to have the same idea. Deciding she’s by far the most bearable person of the evening, you slide down next to her in the booth.
Of course, that thought only makes you think of another person you’d invited. Someone whose absence feels especially notable as you nurse the remnants of your first cocktail.
You don’t really want to get drunk tonight. You don’t want to be here at all.
You put in your forty hours of work this week, and the only place you want to be is at home in a pair of sweatpants.
The only person that would have made it a little more worth it made it very clear that he had better things to do. The details of which, of course, he didn’t bother to share.
The thought spurs you to take another long sip.
You don’t want to get drunk. But you don’t want to think about him either.
Besides, Grace doesn’t seem to share your reservations.
It’s barely been forty minutes when she pulls out her phone, thoroughly tipsy, and decides that you are the best person to help her sort through her list of matches on her favorite dating app.
“He’s cute, right?” She flashes her phone screen towards you.
He is. You nod and tell her as much.
His eyes might not sparkle very much. And his hair might not fall perfectly over his forehead. And he might not furrow his eyebrow in concentration whenever the printer in the workroom gives him a hard time –
No.
Tonight is not about him. He made it very clear that he had no interest in being here tonight, and the last thing you’re going to do is spend the evening fixated on him.
Grace, at least, seems willing to help on that front.
“Oh,” she suddenly interjects from your side. “That reminds me. I’ve been meaning to show you a picture of my friend’s brother. You know, the one I mentioned a couple of weeks ago?”
It’s a bad idea, probably. You’re still feeling slighted and bitter and no matter how many times you tell it not to, your mind keeps wandering to Jungwon.
Despite your reluctance, the cocktails are catching up with you. There’s a pleasant, slightly numb haze in your mind. It makes resistance feel futile.
All you do is nod, and Grace starts searching for his social media profile. It takes her a few more tries than it would sober, but she does eventually find it.
“Here,” she says, offering her phone to you. “His name is Jay. He grew up here until he left to go to an international high school. He’s been living abroad ever since, but he recently moved back. Their dad is pretty high up at a software development company. I think he came back because he landed a job there too.”
You do your best to absorb the information, to nod along with what she says, but in all honesty, you’re quite distracted.
Jay is quite distracting. His feed is well-curated without being overbearing. Covered in travel photos, unbelievably flattering candid shots, and stunning nature pictures, he immediately piques your interest.
Not to mention the fact that he’s stunning. Maybe not quite as stunning as –
No. Again, you refuse to go there.
You’re not sure if it’s the drinks or the photos or the spite that makes it suddenly feel like a good idea, but you’re telling Grace to pass your number along to Jay before you can think better of it.
And if nothing else, at least he doesn’t seem like the kind of person that will make you wonder. Or even wait for long.
You’ve barely gotten home, mind mostly clear even if it is still a bit muddled from the exhaustion of a long week, when your phone screen lights up with a notification.
It’s just a string of numbers for now, but you’re quick to create a new contact.
Hey, the message reads. This is Jay. Grace gave me your number. I hope that’s alright!
A few seconds later, another text comes through.
Jay: How do you feel about art exhibitions? There’s one opening this weekend right next to one of the best coffee spots in the city. I’d love for you to join me.
It’s simple. Straightforward. Not something you’ll search for subtext or pick apart for weeks.
And it’s easy to respond to.
You: That sounds great! I’ll look forward to it
…..
Another week at work passes with the same monotonous, sluggish flow as any other. But this time, it’s interspersed with messages you’ve started to look forward to.
You’ve just sat down with your third cup of coffee on Monday morning when the first one chimes through.
Jay: Good morning, ___. I hope your Monday is off to a better start than mine.
A second message comes through. This one is an image. One that unmistakably shows a stack of papers covered in a dark brown stain you recognize all too well.
You: Oh no!
Pausing for a moment, your teeth worry at your bottom lip. Deciding to go for it, you send your own picture in return.
The image of your full coffee cup goes through, along with another message.
You: I think it might be. My coffee is still in my cup, at least
It takes him less than a minute to respond.
Jay: Black coffee! Oh, you mean business. I’ll deny it if you tell anyone, but I always have to add sugar and cream to mine.
You can’t help the smile that starts to spread over your lips. Sugar and cream. An aversion to bitterness. It reminds you of someone else that always adds a little sweetness to their –
Shaking your head, you force the comparison away. Putting the other man firmly out of mind, you decide to return Jay’s lighthearted message with one of your own.
You: Don’t tell anyone, but this is my third cup of the morning.
Jay: Third cup of straight black coffee. Whew, remind me not to get on your bad side today.
Jay: Speaking of which, do you always drink it black or could you be persuaded into something a little sweeter?
He’s talking about coffee, yes, but it feels just a little bit like flirting. Biting at your lip again, you decide there isn’t much to lose.
Besides, it’s kind of… fun. You can’t remember the last time you were well and truly flirted with.
You: Depends who’s asking
Jay: Hmm
Jay: I’ll have to work on my persuasion skills then
Jay: The place I’m taking you to on Saturday has an insanely delicious caramel latte, and I need to know what you think of it
You: Tempting
You: But I’m not sure I’m convinced
Jay: I’ll work on that, then
You can’t hide your smile this time.
A minute later, two more texts ping through.
Jay: Duty calls, unfortunately
Jay: The rest of my Monday is stacked, so if I am slow to respond to any messages, that’s why. Enjoy the rest of your day, ___
He’s straightforward. Communicative. You appreciate the notice. The fact that if you do send another message without a response, you won’t have to waste your day wondering why.
You: Ugh, don’t you hate it when you actually have to work at work?
You: I hope all goes well! Enjoy the rest of your day too, Jay
Setting your phone down, you return your gaze to your computer screen and unfortunately very full inbox.
Your focus, however, remains half-occupied by a message thread sitting dormant on your tucked away phone.
…..
Jay’s messages begin to become a highlight of your work day. Despite the fact that there’s often a large lapse in time due to both of your busy schedules, you start to anticipate every text he manages to send.
And they only serve to build more excitement around your upcoming date.
By the time Thursday comes around, you’ve all but mentally clocked out for the week. Refilling your water bottle in the staff kitchen, your mind is so occupied that you almost run right into the person coming through the door the same time you’re leaving.
“Oh, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t looking where I was–”
“___.” The sound of your name stops you in your tracks. “Breathe,” Jungwon is smiling, but there’s a hint of concern there, too. “You’re okay.”
“Jungwon,” you exhale. Your frantic apology begins to subside, replaced by an overwhelming surge of self-consciousness as you tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
You haven’t spoken to him, haven’t even seen him, since he rejected your invitation last Friday.
He’s not trying to pick at old wounds, but it still stings a bit when he asks, “How was Friday?”
“Oh, you know,” you shrug, “It was a typical work gathering.” Then again, it occurs to you that he might not know. Since he never bothers attending any of them.
Not that it really matters. Besides, you’re lying a bit anyway. Typical work gatherings don’t usually end with you setting up a date. Not that you want Jungwon to know about that either.
You can't pinpoint exactly why, but the thought of him knowing doesn’t sit with you quite right. Besides, it’s not like he’s ever shown any interest in your personal life, anyway. He would find it weird, most likely. Annoying, if you were to divulge any details.
“Oh, well, I’m sorry again that I couldn’t come.” Just like that day in the workroom, he reaches back to scratch at his neck. You have the distinct sense that he’s the one who suddenly feels a bit awkward. “Friday nights are…” he trails off, “Friday nights are hard for me, usually. I’m always pretty free on Saturday mornings, thought, so if–”
“Don’t worry about it.” Oh god. Your intention certainly wasn’t to make him feel guilty for having a social life outside of the office. Suddenly worried that you read the situation all wrong, you’re quick to assure him, “You don’t have to come to anything that you don’t want to. And especially if you have plans already. I just asked you because my supervisor wanted us to invite people from other departments.”
If his face falls slightly, you’re too caught up in your own rambling to notice.
“And, you know,” you continue, “since you helped me that day with the printer.”
“The printer,” he echoes, voice suddenly hollow. “Right.”
“Right,” you echo. The room falls into silence again, and this time, it’s weighted with a horrible awkwardness neither of you can shake.
“Well,” you finally say, holding up your bottle. “I got my water, so I’m gonna head back to my desk.”
“Yeah,” Jungwon nods. “Okay.”
“I’ll see you around?” It’s just as stilted as it was before, but you’re desperate for any way to exit this conversation.
“Yeah,” Jungwon repeats. “Sure thing, ___.”
…..
By the time Saturday morning comes, you’re a mess of anticipation and frayed nerves.
You’re early to arrive at the address of the coffee shop Jay sent you a few nights ago, but he’s already there waiting for you. And his social media might have painted an impressive picture, but one look tells you that it still doesn’t hold a candle to the real thing.
Jay is gorgeous.
Almost as gorgeous as –
You kill the thought as soon as it comes. This day isn’t about him, and comparisons will do you little good.
Instead, you refocus on your date.
He’s polished and put together in an effortless sort of way. The kind of person that you see once in passing and then can’t stop thinking about for the rest of the week. His features are angular, sharp. But they soften into a warm smile the second he lays eyes on you.
In the end, it doesn’t take him much convincing at all to persuade you to try the caramel latte. And he’s right. It is absolutely delicious.
It was easy to fall into a natural rhythm over text, and your face-to-face conversation flows even better.
He tells you about life abroad and all of his favorite parts of living in another country. He tells you about his family and what he missed most about this city he’s learning to call home again.
He listens, actively, while you tell him the more mundane details of your own life. His questions are well-timed and never feel like interruptions.
His kindness doesn’t feel like a facade. His interest doesn’t feel like a cheap trick to get what he wants from you and then disappear without a word.
And when it becomes painfully apparent at the art exhibition that he’s far more well-versed in the subject than you, he doesn’t make you feel stupid. Instead, he takes his time explaining each piece. Highlights the aspects that would be most interesting to someone without any kind of background in art.
He’s kind, considerate, and the day passes by in a blur of fleeting glances and shy smiles. At the end of it, he offers to drive you home and opens your car door for you. Small gestures that make you feel seen, considered. Valued.
When he says goodbye with a hug that doesn’t last nearly long enough, the smell of his cologne is something you hope will linger as long as the memories of the day do.
It’s easy, you think, as you watch his car drive away from your window. Jay is someone that’s easy to be around, to spend time with.
And when he messages you later that night, reiterating his enjoyment of the day and asking to meet again, he’s easy to say yes to.
…..
You’re not sure how, but the only person that seems even more excited than you about you and Jay is Grace.
Despite the fact that your communication as of late hasn’t involved anything scandalous, she feels the need to rehash every detail until she’s heard it one hundred times.
It doesn’t matter how many times you tell her that the last text message he sent you wasn’t anything to swoon over. In fact, it was rather short and unexciting.
Jay: Have you seen my ring by chance? I remember wearing it that day I was in your car, and I haven’t been able to find it since then.
But Grace won’t hear it. You’re not exactly sure what she heard from Jay’s sister, but she spends the rest of the coming week hounding you over the details regardless.
The staff kitchen is hardly the place for conversations about your personal life, but the setting doesn’t seem to bother her at all. Instead, she pretends to be busy washing an already clean coffee mug while she asks again, “So you went out for the first time last Saturday, right?”
“Mhm,” you nod.
“And then you got dinner together Wednesday night after work?”
“Yep.” You’re pretty sure she’s already asked the same question at least six times.
“And he’s planning to take you out again this Saturday?”
“Right.”
“My god, you two are practically married.” She punctuates the absurd claim with a wistful sigh.
“We most certainly are not.”
“Okay, but you literally just met, and you’ve already seen each other twice with plans for a third.”
She does have a point there. Never mind the fact that you haven’t dated anyone in a while. It is a quick timeline, no matter how you look at it. But you’ve been itching to spend time with him ever since your first date, and Jay seems to be on the same page.
It feels fast, yes, but it doesn’t feel forced. For you, that’s what matters most.
That, along with the fact that a certain someone has been noticeably absent from your mind the more time you spend with him. For now, you’ll choose not to read too much into that.
“God,” Grace sighs again. “I miss going on dates.”
“What are you talking about? Didn’t you go on one a couple weeks ago?” You distinctly remember helping her set it up that night at the bar after work.
“Well, yeah, but I mean good dates. You know, getting properly wined and dined and all that. I guess I’ll just have to live vicariously through you.”
“We went to dinner once, and there was hardly any wine involved.”
She rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean. All I’m saying is you’re lucky to be seeing someone that actually puts in effort for your dates and doesn’t just take you to the closest bar to his office and hope that buying you a handful of drinks means he’ll get lucky.” Pausing for a moment, she looks up, eyes landing somewhere just over your shoulder. “Right, Jungwon?”
Immediately, it’s as if you’ve been submerged in ice cold water. Because there’s no way she said–
“Jungwon?” Turning around, you’re put face to face with the last person you wanted to overhear this particular conversation.
“Hey, ___.” There’s a smile on his lips. Small as always, but something feels wrong about it. “Grace,” he nods at the girl over your shoulder. “Sorry,” he’s still looking at her, “were you asking me something?”
“No, we were just leaving, actua–”
Grace pays you no attention. “Just telling ___ how lucky she is that her man actually puts effort into their dates, since it feels like such a rarity these days.”
“He is not my man.” The glare you send your coworker is lost as Jungwon turns back to you, eyes wide, gaze indecipherable.
“You’re dating someone?”
“I…” The easy, most available answer is yes, but you’re having a hard time getting it out. And there are other semantics involved.
Are you dating? Not really. That usually indicates some kind of commitment, exclusivity. Going on dates might be a better way to put it. But clarifying that miniscule distinction for Jungwon feels strange for some reason.
“My friend’s brother,” Grace supplies unhelpfully from the corner. “What can I say? I’m a natural born matchmaker.” Her proud smile is lost on the both of you. You’re only looking at each other.
“Oh.” Jungwon’s voice is small, hollow. “That’s nice. I’m happy for you.”
You want to scream, just a little bit. Or maybe cry. You can’t make up your mind.
And you’re not sure where it comes from, the sudden, overwhelming surge of guilt that begins to build in your gut. You can’t even decipher who it’s directed towards. Towards Jungwon? Towards Jay? Towards yourself?
Grace, despite her self-proclaimed talent for setting up dates, is apparently incredibly inept at reading the room. With no prompting but her own, she’s pushing forward. “He lived abroad for a while and just moved back to the city, which is like, the perfect scenario for going on dates. And he’s always had a flair for romance. I remember–”
“Well,” you interrupt, desperate for an out, “we better get back to the project we were working on—“
“What project?�� Grace, it would seem, is determined to be anything but helpful.
“You know,” you glare at her, “our project.”
“Right!” She looks sheepish, finally catching the hint. “That project.”
Turning back to Jungwon, you can still see the rigidity of his features. The tension that has yet to ease. “I’ll…” you’re not sure how to part ways now without making things worse. But it feels wrong to just leave without saying anything. For the third time in the span of days, you tell him, “I’ll see you around.”
And for the third time, he agrees, “Yeah.” This time, however, his eyes still flickering with annoyance, shoulders still set with residual frustration. “Sure thing, ___.”
It’s what he always says, you realize. But this time, it’s missing that easygoing, genuine lightness he usually says it with.
This time, it sounds like rejection.
Yours or his, you’re not entirely sure.
…..
You manage to avoid Jungwon for the rest of the week. It’s ironic, almost. You were so worried about pursuing a potential relationship with him because you wanted to avoid this exact scenario.
Now, a handful of dates with someone who is very much not him tucked under your belt, you still feel the need to turn and walk the other direction whenever you think you hear his voice or get a glimpse of blonde hair.
But the office is only so big, and there are only so many corners to duck into. Barely a week has passed the next time you unwittingly bump into him.
“Oh,” you startle slightly, walking into the workroom and already finding it occupied. And of course you’d run into him here, of all places. Kneeling in front of the printer, his brow is furrowed in concentration as he tries to dislodge yet another paper jam.
“Sorry.” You’re not sure what you’re apologizing for exactly, but it feels warranted regardless. “I’ll just leave, and—”
“___,” he cuts you off with the sound of your name. Looking down at him, you're met with the expanse of his back. A button down shirt tucked into dark pants. Standard work attire that has no business looking this ridiculously good on anyone. “You’re fine. You don’t need to leave. Just give me a second, and the printer’s all yours.”
You nod, even though he can’t see you. If the lack of a verbal response bothers him, he doesn’t show it. Instead, he busies himself with the jammed printer, muscles of his back flexing slightly underneath the fabric of his shirt as he tugs at the stubborn papers.
Cheeks heating slightly, you force your gaze elsewhere.
“There,” he says after another minute of adjustments. Standing to full height, he turns to face you. “All fixed.”
Looking up at him, you’re about to offer a quiet thanks when your eyes land on his right cheekbone. Specifically, the fresh cut that spans the length of it.
The gasp the spills from your lips is entirely without permission. But you can’t quite help it. The wound is quite superficial, surface level at most, but it mars his otherwise perfect skin in a way you weren’t prepared for.
Without your permission, your fingers start to reach towards the injury. They make it halfway before you remember yourself, before you regain your sense of reality. Your hand falls limply back to your side.
“What happened?” You breathe.
Jungwon’s brows draw together in confusion for a moment before a flicker of realization dances across his features.
“Oh.” He exhales, fingers tapping against the broken skin of his cheekbone lightly. “Nothing. I just, er, fell the other day.”
“You fell,” you echo. Like all of his other excuses, it’s vague. Flimsy at best.
“Yeah,” he confirms with a slight nod. Again, he says, “I fell.”
It’s evasive. And it feels like more than just an explanation for his injury.
It feels like confirmation of the distance between the two of you. His final assertion that you’re nothing but a coworker to him. Someone that he tells edited versions of stories to, someone that he keeps firmly planted an arm’s length away.
Fine. If he wants to give you shitty excuses for his Friday nights and his absences at work events and now his injury that very obviously did not come from a fall, that’s just fine with you.
After all, he’s nothing but a coworker to you either. The upcoming date you have planned with Jay is enough to prove it.
“Well,” you tell him, forcing a smile. The fake, disproportionately bright kind that you only ever use with your coworkers. “I hope it heals quickly.”
And then you’re brushing past him, making your way towards the printer as if he’s nothing but an obstacle in your path.
Collecting your freshly printed document, you turn and walk out the door without so much as a backward glance.
…..
Sliding into the passenger seat of Jay’s car Thursday evening, you feel the stress melting from your shoulders the second the door shuts behind you.
This is something else he makes easy: forgetting about whatever woes you managed to acquire after a long day of work. Jay just smiles as you sit down next to him, turning down the volume on the radio as he asks about your day.
Tonight, the two of you are headed to one of your favorite diners. Somewhere where you can chat and laugh and relax over a pile of french fries and obnoxiously gaudy decor.
But before you turn down the street that leads to the restaurant, Jay asks if the two of you can make a quick stop.
“I left my bag at the gym last night,” he explains apologetically. “Do you mind if I swing by and grab it real quick? It’s on our way.”
You reassure him that it’s no problem, and a handful of minutes later, the two of you are parked outside of a rather nondescript, faded building.
Frowning slightly, your eyebrow quirks up in surprise. Although he hasn’t outright disclosed anything, from what you’ve gathered so far, Jay’s family is quite well off. The kind that pays for expensive memberships at bougie gyms with saunas and swimming pools. Not the kind that frequents dark, run down gyms in the middle of a random residential area.
Pulling his key from the ignition, Jay turns to you. “You can wait here, if you want.”
“That’s okay.” You’re already unbuckling your seatbelt. “I’m tired of sitting, anyway.” You really are. Plus, you have to admit that you’re kind of curious.
You fall into step at his side as the two of you make your way towards the building. The closer you get, the more decrepit it appears. Paint is peeling from the exterior, leaving it an odd, mottled brown color riddled with rust marks.
Even the sign, Kang’s Gym, is small, faded, and only visible once you’re nearly to the entrance.
Jay steps in front of you, holding the door open for you to enter.
The inside, you realize as you step in, is in no better shape than the outside. The wall closest to you is lined with weightlifting equipment that looks as if it were pulled from past decades.
Padding is torn in places, and questionable stains cover the place, accumulated from years of use.
You’re about to ask him outright why on earth he patronizes such a run down place when your eyes land on the far wall of the gym. There, you think you find your answer.
There’s no weightlifting equipment or cardio machines. Instead, the majority of available space is filled with several sets of boxing rings. Like the rest of the gym, they’re equally faded and worn with years of use.
But the lighting in that part of the gym is noticeably better. Far brighter, more intentional. As if the rest of the gym is just for show and that is the true purpose of this building.
You’re suddenly overcome with the urge to take a second glance at your date.
He has a lean, athletic build, yes. The kind that you assumed came from some kind of regular exercise regiment and not his office job.
But boxing wasn’t exactly what you expected.
Jay turns to you. His expression gives nothing away, holds no indication that this is anything out of the ordinary for him. “I think I left it over by the locker rooms.”
Encasing your hand in his, he leads you towards the rings. Several of them are occupied, mostly by one-on-one sparring matches.
Walking past the first one, the two men inside the ring turn to look at you and Jay as you pass.
“Hey, man,” the first one offers with a nod of recognition that Jay returns. As his eyes slide over to you, they widen slightly in surprise. Gaze falling to your intertwined hands, the man just shakes his head slightly before returning to his sparring partner.
Moving past them, you shake the odd interaction from your mind.
You spare fleeting glances for the rest of the people you pass. For a moment, you try to imagine Jay in the ring instead of them. It’s an odd contradiction with what you’ve come to associate with him.
Easygoing. Considerate. Even tempered. They’re traits that feel at odds with the kind of stark physicality required in a boxing ring.
Then again, the more you consider it, the more you start to make sense of it. Jay is all of those things, yes, but there’s also an undercurrent of something else.
A quiet intensity he carries with him. Something he has control over. Something he can channel when needed.
The more you think about it, the easier it is to picture him in the ring, throwing precise, calculated punches until victory rests on his square shoulders.
You’d be lying if you said the mental image didn’t pique your interest. You’re about to ask him if he’ll let you watch next time he’s in the ring when a flash of color in the last boxing ring, the one closest to the locker rooms, catches your attention.
It’s unlikely. It feels impossible. Even more so than the thought of Jay in a boxing ring. But as you draw closer, you confirm your suspicions.
After all, you would know that shade of blonde anywhere.
It takes everything in you not to stop dead in your tracks. But even as you continue forward, hand still encased in Jay’s, your eyes are trained solely on the space between Jungwon’s broad shoulders.
It’s almost inhuman, the feline agility that he moves with. He’s smaller than his opponent, but he’s faster. Lighter on his feet.
The punches he throws are dizzyingly accurate, and his sparring partner seems to think the same. A muted thud is followed by a string of expletives that become more clear the closer you get.
“Jesus, Jungwon.” The man across from him is still a bit breathless as he recovers from having the wind knocked out of him. “Bad week at work or something?”
“C’mon, Heeseung.” It doesn’t sound anything like the Jungwon you know. Gone is the quiet friendliness you’ve always heard from him. His voice is still gentle, but it carries an unmistakable command. “Stop going easy.”
“I’m not,” the other man – Heeseung – argues. “What has gotten into you? It’s like you’ve been insane since that match last week.”
“Whatever,” Jungwon scoffs, shaking his head. “Let’s just take five.”
“Make it ten,” Heeseung goads across from him.
Jungwon sends him a warning glare, but says nothing. Instead, he reaches for his water bottle at the corner of the ring, leaning against the ropes that enclose it.
All you can do is watch, suddenly fascinated by the way sweat darkens his hair, trails down the length of his neck. Jungwon gives a quick shake of his head, sending his hair scattering over his forehead as he leans further into the ropes behind him.
Tipping his head back, his throat works against a swallow as he takes a long drink from his water bottle.
Jungwon sets his water bottle down, turning towards Heeseung like he’s about to say something else when movement catches his attention.
More specifically, your movement. His eyes fall on you, and for a moment, you’re rendered just as immobile as him. His gaze widens in recognition and then suddenly, he’s standing.
Long strides eat up the length of the boxing ring as he crosses it, every step bringing him closer to you. With a distinct sort of grace and practiced ease, he jumps over the side of the ring, landing on his feet just as you and Jay pass him.
With a hand on your shoulder, he stops you both in your tracks. His touch is gentle, but commanding. It leaves little room for argument.
“This is the guy you’ve been seeing?” Jungwon’s eyes are molten lava. If you thought that day in the staff kitchen was the most visible emotion he was capable of mustering, you were sorely mistaken. The Jungwon that stands in front of you now is simmering with it, vibrating with barely contained emotions.
At your side, Jay turns back. With your hand still enclosed in his, Jay’s gaze goes straight towards Jungwon’s hand on your shoulder.
“Jungwon,” he nods coolly.
Jungwon ignores him entirely. His gaze is still trained directly on you.
Glancing between the both of them, the tension between them is palpable. Over Jungwon’s shoulder, you can see Heeseung leaning against the edge of the boxing ring as if he can’t decide whether to intervene or not.
“Well,” you say, attempting to diffuse a bit of the rising animosity, “I guess I don’t need to introduce the two of you, then.”
This time, it’s you that Jungwon ignores. Turning to Jay, he’s all venom. “And you brought her here? What the hell are you doing?”
“Relax, man.” Jay rolls his eyes. “We’re just grabbing my bag.”
“I don’t give a fuck what you left here,” he bites. “You know better than to–”
Shaking his hand off your shoulder, annoyance makes itself visible across your features. It’s one thing for Jungwon to be pissy towards your date, but it’s another entirely for him to assume that you can’t handle something as mundane as a boxing gym.
And if you're honest, the whole overprotective act just rubs you the wrong way. Why does he think he gets to ignore you all week at work and then act like he knows what’s in your best interest?
“I think I can handle watching people throw a few punches, Jungwon.” Your voice is all ice, and it changes his demeanor immediately. The anger begins to dissipate, leaving him with wide eyes that beg for your understanding.
The frustration is still there, though. “That’s not what I meant, ___.”
“I don’t really care what you meant.” You’re not sure if it’s true, but you want it to be. For now, that’s enough. “Why don’t you go back to your friend and pretend like you never saw me. You’re good at that, right?”
It’s a low blow. And it has his features falling immediately, eyebrows slackening as if you’ve slapped him.
His voice is notably gentler when he says your name. “___…”
This time, it’s Jay that speaks. “I suggest you listen to her, man. We’ll be out in a few minutes.”
Jungwon wants to say more. You can see it in the way his mouth twitches, in the way his shoulders still rise with tension. Finally, he relaxes. Just a fraction of an inch, but you know it’s over. At least for now.
He doesn’t say anything, but he does take a step back. And then another.
His eyes are still on you, even as Jay keeps walking, pulling you gently along with him.
By the time he finds his bag and the two of you make your way back out, Jungwon is nowhere to be found.
You can still feel eyes on you, though.
This time, it’s Heeseung’s gaze that follows you all the way out the door.
Back in Jay’s passenger seat, you turn towards your date, a million questions swimming in your mind.
“What on earth was that all about?”
Jay just frowns, knuckles white against the steering wheel. Instead of answering, he asks a question of his own. “How do you know him?”
“What?” Too confused to protest, you answer. “We work together.” Then you repeat, “What’s going on?”
Jay sighs, leans his head back against his seat. “He’s in marketing with you?”
“No,” you shake your head. “Programming. I don’t want to ask you again.” This time, you can’t help the expletive. “What the fuck was that?”
“We…” Jay trails off, searching for an explanation. “We know each other.”
“Yeah, no shit. How?”
“We went to the same middle school, before I left for high school. He was a year behind me.”
“And what?” You ask, trying to think of what kind of feud middle schoolers could possibly have that would warrant tonight’s interaction. “He stole your lunch money and you never got over it?”
“Not quite.” His lips are tight. “Look, ___. I know you can’t help who you work with, but Jungwon… he’s not who you think he is.”
“And you are?”
Jay turns to you, hurt clearly written across his features. “That’s not fair.”
“No,” you argue, doubling down. “What’s not fair is giving me vague half truths about my coworker and expecting me to just agree blindly while you evade all of my questions.” A moment of silence passes. Jay says nothing. Finally, you tell him, “If you’re not going to be honest with me, then I think you should just take me home.”
“Wait, ___–”
“I’m serious, Jay. I’m not about to go have dinner with you and pretend that this didn't just happen. Just take me home.” Softening a bit at the obvious distress on his face, you add a quiet, “Please.”
You won’t compromise your boundaries, but you don’t have it in you to be needlessly cruel, even if his evasiveness bothers you to no end.
Jay just sighs, pulling into an empty parking lot before turning around and heading in the opposite direction. Towards your apartment.
The rest of the car ride passes in stilted silence, neither of you willing to break it.
Jay is the first one to speak, but it’s not until you’re sliding out of his passenger seat, back turned towards him.
“Good night, ___.”
For a moment, you consider just ignoring him. But it feels petty, even for these circumstances. For now, you’ll just have to trust that he needs time to find a way to tell you the truth.
“Good night,” you tell him. But you still don’t look back.
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READ PART TWO HERE
⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖
note: I AM SO ANNOYEDDDDD this was all supposed to be one long fic, not two parts, but tumblr's post block limit got me. Honestly I don't know how I avoided it this long. Anyway the second part is written and will be posted soon. In the meantime, let me know what you're thinking so far! As always, thank you for reading ♡
#jungwon fanfiction#jungwon fanfic#jungwon x you#jungwon x reader#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fanfic#enhypen x you#enhypen x reader#jungwon scenarios#enhypen scenarios
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sv5 | that lavender haze
summary: [ florist!sebastian vettel x f!driver!reader — social media au ] your florist husband spoils you with his creations
faceclaim: phoebe tonkin
author’s note: seb the love of my life <3
[ masterlist / guidelines / lola's masterlist / series masterlist ]
liked by sebastianvettel, lewishamilton, mercedesamgf1 and 35,201,234 others
yourusername catching the waves 🏄🏻♀️
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sebastianvettel Ich liebe dich 🥰
↪ yourusername can't wait to be home with you again 💗
ausgp can we keep you down under please? 🦘
↪ f1mia back off 🦅🇺🇸
user mother AND mommy omg
mickschumacher can you teach me how to surf instead 🙏 lewishamilton doesn't understand that not everyone is naturally talented at everything
↪ lewishamilton i don't know what to tell you, mate 😂 keep calm and keep your balance, it's all chill
↪ mickschumacher easy for you to say 🙄 you're not the one drinking seawater every five minutes
yourusername has added to their story
liked by yourusername, mickschumacher, charles_leclerc and 124,129 others
tagged: yourusername
sebastianvettel Welcome home yourusername ❤️ the flowers missed you and so did I 😉
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user i love how y/n's husband's instagram is basically just a fanpage for her 😂
↪ user nah you can't forget the flowers ‼️
↪ user seb loves two things in life and they're his flowers and his wife 😌
user i don't even go here but i'm all for the golden retriever and black cat vibes 🤭
mickschumacher seb i have a bee problem in my backyard...
↪ charles_leclerc you know you could just text him right 🙃
↪ mickschumacher he checks his phone once every three months if your name isn't y/n l/n-vettel 💀
↪ sebastianvettel and I'm not ashamed of it 😄 but what can I help you with?
↪ mickschumacher a colony of bees moved into my garden 😅 i don't mind them but is there anything i should watch out for?
↪ sebastianvettel As long as they're not being overly aggressive you shouldn't have any problems 👍 keep me updated though
↪ mickschumacher thanks seb you're a lifesaver 😊
yourusername thanks for the flowers schatz 😘
↪ user ugh they're so Parents 😭
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↪ user charles liked your comment 😂 i guess even the drivers agree
↪ landonorris you didn't hear it from me but seb and y/n are the unofficial official grid parents
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tagged: sebastianvettel
mercedesamgf1 We have a special guest this weekend at the #JapaneseGP 🐝 sebastianvettel is here at Suzuka to promote biodiversity and build some bee hotels with the drivers 💪
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charles_leclerc Appreciated the art tips 😉
user this man 😭 "what do you think about this weekend's race?" "well obviously my wife is going to win everything"
↪ user as he should honestly
↪ user when you're in a "being a wife guy" competition and your opponent is sebastian vettel 💀
kevinmagnussen Thanks a lot Seb 😂 the kids want beehives now!
↪ sebastianvettel Glad to know that someone was listening when I was giving my talk about the role that bees play in our ecosystem 😔
↪ landonorris in my defence someone brought cookies and i was hungry...
↪ sebastianvettel you are 24 years old, Lando
↪ user why can i feel seb's disappointment through an instagram comment 😭
yourusername sometimes i wonder if he'd leave me for his bees 😂
↪ lewishamilton don't worry, you can crash on my couch if he does. roscoe needs a permanent babysitter
↪ yourusername two decades of friendship and that's all you see me as?
↪ lewishamilton let me by during the grand prix and i'll think about it
↪ yourusername mercedesamgf1 i'm telling toto
↪ sebastianvettel I would never leave you for bees, liebling. Clean energy, on the other hand...
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yourusername Happy anniversary, my love 💐 12 years and counting
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user the bouquet emoji because he's a florist omg 🥹
user my favorite thing ever is how 5-time wdc y/n l/n-vettel's husband is Just Some Guy who's completely smitten with his wife and makes her all the bouquets she could ever want 😭
↪ user they're like cottagecore addams 😩 i adore them so much
↪ user COTTAGECORE ADDAMS HELP 🤣🤣🤣
susie_wolff Congratulations and our best wishes!
↪ yourusername thank you ❤️😊 the same to you and toto!
sebastianvettel I'm the luckiest man in the world to be able to call you my wife and partner 💗 You're P1 forever, especially in my heart
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taglist: @scenesofobx @vellicora @boiohboii @julesbabey @flannelforthetoads @misartymis
#solwriting#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula one x reader#formula 1#f1#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 x you#f1 social media au#f1 imagine#f1 smau#sebastian vettel#sebastian vettel x reader#sebastian vettel x you#sebastian vettel imagine#sebastian vettel fanfic
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you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.
(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)
but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.
(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)
there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.
(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)
you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.
(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)
you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.
in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.
but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.
they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.
it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.
#spilled ink#warm up#can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically#i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason#it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out#we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism#where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell#at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit#but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance#> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally#> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field#> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice#i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)
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kinktober - day 06 - rut
price x f!reader | 2.8k words cw: John POV, brief mention of food/diet, slight dehumanization, mean!Price, breeding kink, dubcon/coercion, italics stan, abrupt ending because look at that wc summary: john takes his au jus. banner by @/cafekitsune
John can’t help but watch as she licks a stray drop of juice from her lip.
The sight sends a jolt coursing through him, cock hardening at the thought of those lips wrapped around it. He’s only had her once since dropping his bag at the door, and his mind fills with all the ways he plans to have her next.
Tempting sight. His gaze weighs heavy, an unsated predator a table width away from a piece of meat and her steak.
It’s an ugly thought. One that comes unbidden, released with the onset of his rut. A shallow wave of guilt laps against the remains of his dignity and lucidity, but soon that tide’ll go out for a few days. At that point, there’ll be no regret. No keeping the ugly in.
His hand flexes around his fork, the utensil digging into his own cut. It’s no use trying to distract himself, watching the juices that seep from it. Immediately thinking of the slick that pours like a tap between her legs. The thought has him smirking to himself, anticipation buzzing in his veins.
“Enjoying your meal?” He asks with a bite, eyes fixed to hers.
She pauses mid-chew, her free hand absentmindedly touching the clasp of her bite guard for a dozenth time.
Inwardly, he preens. Smug he’s rattled her cage.
She swallows hard. "Yes," she manages to reply, her voice barely above a whisper. "I never get steak." She tears into another piece, chewing slowly.
Of course not. Professional Omegas like her, practically show dogs, are fed top-shelf, high-end protein shakes. Nutritional smoothies. Leafy greens and lean meat. Vitamins. Supplements. Everything to keep them healthy and robust, hardy enough to take the ruts of alphas like him. Unmated, overly aggressive loners—canon fodder that survived too long, wised up too much, and made it everyone’s problem.
She’s terrible at hiding her irritation. Her attraction, too. Her scent’s all over the place. That’s the problem with being on scent blockers between jobs. Poor thing hasn’t a clue how to control it, let alone just how intoxicating she smells. It’s a miracle the little farmhouse they sent him to, where he found her, wasn’t blown down by the huffing and puffing of some other alpha.
(And even if it was? He’d drag them out and kill them with his bare hands.)
She’s not ready to admit what he already knows: this isn’t another contract rut. She isn’t going to limp home to her facility at the end of her week-long stint in no man’s land. He’ll carry her to his truck, buckle her in, and nurse the mark he’ll leave in her neck. All in good time.
He finishes his steak, pushing the empty plate aside. "I’m glad it’s to your liking."
The room crackles with tension, the silence only broken by the faint scrape of her cutlery. He allows it to stretch a minute longer before leaning forward and breaking it with a low drawl.
"Once we're done here…I think it's time we use the bedroom. Take you properly this time." His eyes bore into hers. His bare chest and neck are splotchy with heat, his body hair damp with sweat. The scratch marks on his back sting when he reclines in his chair.
She stills, meal momentarily forgotten, then nods. She doesn’t lift her eyes from the gristle on the edge of her plate.
Her denial reeks. The sweet tang of the warmth pooling between her eyes wafts. His foot slides forward under the table, catching her feet on either side as she tries to close her legs. Finally she looks up out of surprise, and he grins at the dilation of her pupils. It’s rare for a rut to trigger heats nowadays, what with all the suppressants on the market, what’s probably pumped into her—but not unheard of. Her body’s primed to respond to him. Wants to. Whether she wills it or not.
And it would be just like his superiors—handlers—to dangle an omega like her in front of him. He wonders how much of the budget went into strategizing his domestication. How much time. He’d be angry and drive back bloody and enraged, if it wasn’t working.
Not domestication, no. That’ll always be a front. A disguise to adopt and wear. But the singular, intensive want for the creature in front of him?
She was never going to leave here unmarked and unmated.
And he doesn’t believe she knew until he told her, growling into her ear as he pulled an orgasm from her wriggling body bent over the couch.
When she’s finished eating, he takes the dishes, and his eyes cut to where his shirt hits her bare thighs. Where the fabric catches and bunches on her wide hips. His nostrils flare at the single teardrop working its way down the inside of her leg.
“I’ll…prepare.”
Mouthwatering.
He takes his time, leaning against the sink, hand jammed down his shorts. He should shower. Should drink more water. Should, should, should. But the creak of the bed perks his ears and wipes another helping of enforced propriety from his brain.
She's ready. Satisfaction fills him at the thought. Aching for it.
The hall is an eternity and he makes no effort to dampen the sounds of his footsteps rattling the old bedroom door in its frame.
His shirt’s the first thing he sees, folded and set side on the decorative stool across from the door. The second is the arch of her back, arse in the air, covered in spots of a sheen she obviously tried to dab with a towel. A clear invitation, equal parts traditional and clinical. She’d like to pretend there’s nothing else in the room besides instinct and that she’s only there for an assignment.
Fingers threaded into the linens, toes curled tight. Statuesque. All part of her training, he bets.
Tomorrow, he decides, he’ll deliver his own. He’ll let her keep the comfort of routine for now.
Her skin is warm and soft under his touch, leagues smoother than his hands. Omegas like her are far from delicate things, shaped for their purpose like any other tool. Still, he marvels. Everything about her is welcoming.
“Look at you.” he whispers, smug and satisfied. He squeezes her hip as he drops onto the bed behind her, wasting no time in wetting himself with her cunt. He glides through her folds, relishing the shudders it sends through the rest of her, and reaches for the back of her guard. He hooks a finger into the narrow gap between it and her neck and tugs, pulling her back to meet him in a searing kiss. Her mouth moves against his as if rehearsed until he releases her neck, and tells her to keep her cheek pressed to the mattress. Eyes open.
He watches a flurry of emotion parade across her face as he continues to grind. He soaks in the steady slick pouring from her hole, listening to her breathing ratchet up louder than the lewd, wet slide of his cock. He focuses on the pure heat emanating from her cunt and steadying his own breathing, until a word hatches weakly on her tongue.
“What was that?”
She shakes her head, closing her eyes.
“Eyes open,” He swats a cheek. “Speak up.” Say it.
She stares sidelong, tongue darting out to wet her lips, a mix of apologetic and conflicted. “Please.”
“Please what?” Say it.
“Please—Please fuck me.”
“Why should I?”
It leaves her at a momentary loss for words. The question is and isn’t a trick. More a test, or an outstretched hand.
“Because…‘Cause of your rut?”
“No, no. Why’re you asking me to fuck you if it’s my rut? Everything should be on my schedule, yeah?”
“I didn’t—didn’t mean—”
“Why should I listen to your begging?”
Because you’re mine. Mine. Say it. Say you feel it.
But silence follows. Stubborn whelp. He lets her know the depth of his disappointment with a long huff, continuing to fuck along her folds, holding fast to his control. The noises he makes are intentional and not completely feigned. He reeks of displeasure and lets his gaze drift to the window, out to the dark of the night sky. Bored. Aggrieved. Let her mind wander where it will.
It takes minutes for her to break. She pleads with him quietly, daring to push back. “Please, I need it. Need you.”
Manipulative thing. It snaps the last thread, unmooring him from polite conversation and good manners. He grumbles, lines himself up, and slams forward without preamble. Buries himself in one go. He groans louder than the shocked gasp that erupts from her mouth, and grinds deeper into her warm clutch. He pulls back slowly to watch her cunt’s grip fight to keep him inside.
“Fuck, sweetheart. ‘Least she knows what she wants”
She whimpers in response, fingers clenching the sheets.
He wastes no more time, and lets his instincts take the reins. Maybe she’ll be more accommodating and honest around his knot. He lays into her with animalistic intensity, ignoring every cry and stutter beneath him as he takes and takes and takes.
He’ll give, the second she wises up.
John pistons into her mindlessly until moonlight touches the edge of the bed, and his body takes it like the chiming of a clock. Before he realizes it, he has her on her back, legs spread wide and hitched around his waist. Droplets of sweat drip from his temple onto her breasts where he leans over her, smearing when he crushes her, arms trapping her and giving her no quarter but his embrace. He doesn’t realize he’s fiddling with her bite guard until her voice turns shrill in his ear.
“Sir, you can’t!”
Sir. Placate and appease, textbook.
“You cannot remove it, and, and, even if you could, you cannot bite me,” she continues, voice thin and desperate. “This is just a job, sir!”
He wonders if they use cattle prods. Clamps and car batteries. However they test their omegas to survive alphas like him, it cannot be too different from interrogation. But with how she fusses, he doubts she’s ever had to rely on her training in the real world. Unlike him. And he’s been on both sides.
John ignores her spiel.
“Oh, you’re just shy. You feel it, don’t you? Don’t fuckin’ deny it, I can tell you do, just need to hear you say it. Admit it. We’re a fucking pair. Mates. Meant to be.”
A shocked noise cuts off the rest of her speech. Her lip’s gonna bleed if she keeps biting it like that.
“No? Still bent on denying it? Denying yourself? C’mon, darl.” His words are a growl, an animalistic sound vibrating through him. Reaching from the antediluvian into the present. His grip tightens on the collar, eyes drilling into the sliver of soft skin he sees beneath. The place for a mark. His mark.
She’s mine, the primal, angry part of him snarls. Snaps its teeth. Mine.
“‘M warnin’ you now. If I want to mark you, I will.” He punctuates with a hard thrust. “And if I want to mate you, I will. I’ll wait you out. I’ve crawled through shit and heat for things I don’t care about, imagine what I’ll endure for you.”
Without waiting for her response, his hand slips from her hip to between her legs. His pace drops to match the circles he rubs on her clit. A deep, controlled rhythm that has him bottoming out each thrust. His other hand grabs her jaw, tilting it to expose the clasp of the guard. Only she can undo it, but he wills it to break with just his stare.
“You’re going to be such a good mate to me. And I to you, sweetheart. I’ll protect you. Feed you. Keep you. Give you babies, little yous and mes…”
Her breath hitches at his words, he feels her shudder. It’s fear and curiosity and hunger. Mirrored. Twinned.
Even as she protests, she arches into his touch, hips rising to meet him. The raw need in his voice, the harsh grip of his hand on her hip. He feels her resolve wavering, one foot off the edge over the steep drop off where he waits at the bottom to drag her under.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Being taken care of, a big man at your beck and call…” John’s lips curl into a wicked grin. It’s adorable, really, all her writhing and squirming. "Shh, sweetheart," he coos, pressing himself to the root. "You're not foolin’ anyone. You want it just as much as I do." He licks her jaw, dips his tongue beneath the lined collar, and grazes the swell of her gland. "But if you're still not convinced," he murmurs against her skin, grinding his hips against hers to drive his point home, "I'll keep showing you how good it will be."
Without further warning, he renews his efforts. He thrusts in earnest and restarts the slow circles on her clit, determined to draw every last moan from her lips. At last, the tissue at the base of his cock stirs and begins to swell like it’s had enough of her dithering, too.
Another embarrassing sound tumbles from her lips—part gasp, part moan—as he finds and hits her sweet spot. Her eyes shut. The sheets beneath her twist as she claws at them. Intent on changing her mind and knocking some fucking sense into her, he hones in on it. By the time his knot bumps against her cunt, she’s babbling some nonsense. He catches words like ‘program’ and ‘rules’. It all disappears into vapor when her breath catches in fear despite the feverish squeeze of her cunt.
Understandable. She cried on it before. Biggest she’s taken, she said when she finally calmed down from her hysterics, facedown on the hardwood floor. Of course, that made pride billow from him like a dark, toxic cloud. Eclipsing the sunset through the lace curtains and choking out the afterglow.
He pauses, fingers tracing her clit, then the thickness of his knot pressed to her hole. She squirms.
“You want more, love?” John asks, sawing gently in and out. “Want to come on this fat knot?” He watches her wrestle with her emotions, the way her brow furrows and her lips press together in indecision. Searching him for the answer.
“If you want me to continue,” He lifts his hand to cradle her chin. “You’re gonna have to let me bite you. Admit you’re mine, made for me, and I’ll let you come.”
“But your knot—don’t you want to…?”
He swipes his thumb over her chin. “‘Course I do, but I want everything. The whole package. Why shove my knot and fill up an omega who’s only gonna waste what I give her? No, after this, after you refuse me, I’ll call whoever holds your leash and send for a replacement—”
“No.”
Her face rapidly contorts from docility to something base. And familiar. In his peripheral vision, her hand twitches north, then back to her stomach, like it’s fighting back. The corner of her mouth lifts, lips flashing her dull canines.
“No replacement.”
He breathes in the stink of her requited greed. Finally.
“My rut’ll be long, won’t be satisfied until the deed’s done and takes. Not gonna let you come once unless my teeth find your neck first.”
Her look of fury breaks with a whimper, the sound filled with a heady mix of fear and desire. Conflict. After a moment, she tests him and tries to reach down to continue where he left off, but he snatches her wrist. He growls when that doesn’t discourage her, when she simply starts rocking her hips, trying to grind herself on the cock buried inside her. Her lips curve into a pout. It’s not enough. They both know it.
“Darl,” he warns, huffing. “You really are a needy thing, aren’t you?”
He indulges her with a few sluggish strokes in and out of her body, laughing softly. With a rough tug, he pulls her closer.
“I said if you want to come, you have to let me bite you.”
John doesn’t blame her for the war undoubtedly raging in her head. He licks the pads of his fingers, returns them to her bundle of nerves, and grinds his knot against her weeping hole to help things along.
She says something when her stomach contracts as her orgasm slowly returns within reach.
“What was that?”
“...Yes. Okay.”
He pinches her clit. Presses until his knot catches.
Instead of uttering a word, she fumbles with the clasp of her bite guard. It comes off in his hand, and he throws it like a discus into a wall, shattering it into pieces like her resolve. He relishes the full-body shudder that wracks her as he envelopes her again, bearing down on her with his maw stretched wide.
“Good fucking girl.”
#sy kinktober#kinktober#price x reader#price x f!reader#john price x reader#john price x f!reader#“my kinktober wc will be a max 1.5k” clown makeup on my face
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Enemies in the Natal Chart
Based on the 7th House and 12th house. Also recommend looking for your Progressed Chart. Recommend using whole sign house system.
[ 7th house ] people who are directly confrontational; you can see and engage with them in conflicts that are more apparent and often play out in public or work environments; like to criticize or hinder you openly
[ 12th house ] people who are covert and elusive; work behind the scenes, often using manipulation or indirect tactics; often use your emotions against you; can also be your own insecurities and fears
Note: the 12th house literally represents what’s hard to comprehend or perceive, so if it’s difficult for you to resonate or compare to your own life regarding the “hidden enemies” part…it’s probably because it’s obscure, besides other possible placement interactions. Also, when I use “relationships” it’s also referencing professional, platonic, and domestic.
Aries Rising [ 7H Libra - 12H Pisces ]
Open Enemies:
- people who seem charming and polite but are secretly playing both sides, like those who smile in your face then throw you under the bus to maintain their image
- those obsessed with being liked; may experience a lot of friendship betrayals
- people who screw you over legally or through shady deals; people who manipulate legal systems or twist arguments to their advantage
- those in romantic or professional relationships that may quietly undermine you because they’re jealous of your connections or accomplishments
- your fear of facing direct confrontation
- your indecisive nature; may spend so much time weighing options or trying to keep everyone happy that others may take advantage of this overthinking
- your obsession with being liked and keeping the peace that you may betray yourself
Hidden Enemies:
- those who play the victim card to manipulate you; may seem vulnerable or helpless but actually using your compassion to take advantage of you
- attract people who run from their problems and drag you into the chaos, like escapist and addicts
- spiritual con-artists, people who seem overly spiritual or “enlightened”; may use spiritual or moral superiority to manipulate you, masking their true intentions behind compassion or wisdom
- your own delusions or refusal to see reality clearly; may avoid hard truths about people or situations
- your tendency to let people walk all over you because you want to save everything; may give too much or take on other people’s problems
- you may deal with life challenge’s through addiction, daydreaming, or avoiding reality altogether
Taurus Rising [ 7H Scorpio - 12H Aries ]
Open Enemies:
- partners or competitors who constantly try to assert authority over you
- people who play on your emotional triggers or use shared resources, like money, possessions, or secrets, to control you
- people who openly resent your success, relationships, of influence
- physical/se*ual betrayals; people who’ve had access to your vulnerabilities and used them against you
- revenge seekers after conflict, because they’re not interested in letting things go easily
- your fear of vulnerability, like deep emotional connections or intimate exchanges
- your trust issues that can undermine relationships
- your obsession with control or possession, whether conscious of it or not
- your tendency for intense emotions that may scare off people or create unnecessary drama in relationships
Hidden Enemies:
- those who push you into impulsive actions, making you act without thinking
- people who create conflict about you to sabotage behind the scenes; secret competitors who size you up
- people who undermine you efforts in subtle, passive-aggressive ways, like rumors
- your lack of patience, which can make you act rashly
- your repressed anger that may burst in destructive ways
- your fear of failure which can make you avoid challenges altogether
- your cravings for independence, which may make you refuse help or isolate yourself
- your tendencies to unconsciously create conflict to avoid dealing with deeper emotional issues, as a form of escapism
Gemini Rising [ 7H Sagittarius - 12H Taurus ]
Open Enemies:
- people who are overly opinionated or think they know everything; may impose their beliefs on you or are quick to dismiss or challenge your perspective
- people who don’t like to be tied to down or restricted; they value freedom so much they oppose you if they feel like you’re limiting them in any way
- people who paint an unrealistic picture of things, like making promises they can’t keep or abandon you when things fall apart
- people who see black and white and attack your beliefs, especially when it comes to arguments about moral or ethical superiority
- people who don’t practice what they preach; people who abandon or betray you when something more exciting comes along
- your fear of commitment; tendencies to avoid settling down
- your tendencies to speak your mind without thinking of the consequences
- your arrogance and unwillingness to see other perspectives; you thinking you’re always right
- your tendencies to flee from conflicts or responsibilities in relationships or partnerships
Hidden Enemies:
- people who refuse to adapt or support growth, keeping you stuck in situations that no longer serve you
- people who secretly want what you have; may pretend to be supportive while subtly trying to undermine your financial or material stability
- people who encourage you to stay in your comfort zone, to convince you that “everything is fine as it is”
- people who are possessive, either of you or the resources you share; they don’t want to lose what they see as theirs, whether it’s your time, attention, or material wealth
- people who hoard resources or information and keep you in the dark; they may accumulate wealth, knowledge, or power but only reveal their intentions when it benefits them
- you may subconsciously resist change when it’s necessary, like clinging to old habits or relationships that prevent your growth
- your attachments to material comfort; you may prioritize security over progress
- your love for comfort and routine that can turn into laziness
- you may hold onto ideas,beliefs, or habits for too long, refusing to see when they’re not working for you
- your fear of losing control over your surroundings or possessions; feel the beed to hoard or hold onto things in a way that creates anxiety
Cancer Rising [ 7H Capricorn - 12H Gemini ]
Open Enemies
- people who are extremely ambitious, who are willing to go to any lengths to succeed and use you as a ladder, often in cold or calculated tactics
- people in positions of authority, like bosses, mentors, or even parents; may use their status or power to block your progress
- business-minded competitors who oppose you openly by dominating or take credit for your work
- people who oppose you if you challenge the status quo because they value structure c rules, and traditions; may use their influence to maintain control and resist change
- your fear of failure that make you overly obsessed with achieving things
- your tendencies to overwork, prioritizing career or ambitions over relationships
- your tendencies to be overly serious or emotionally detached
- your tendencies to try to dominate or micromanage others
- your expectations for others to meet your standards without compromise
Hidden Enemies
- people who are two-faced backstabbers, like spreading gossip or misinformation about you
- people who mess with you mind and make you doubt or second-guess yourself and your decisions
- people who constantly keep your busy or distracted c especially from what really matters to you; may be ones who get you caught up in trivial tasks or conversations often
- people who twist words or provide half-truths, and may deliberately mislead you with confusing, contradictory information
- your scattered thinking that might make it hard for you to focus on one goal or keep progress
- your tendencies to overthink and overanalyze everything; thinking too much without acting enough
- your fear of speaking up out of fearing judgment or causing conflict
- your self-deception; hiding your true desires or inner truths from your own self
Leo Rising [ 7H Aquarius - 12H Cancer ]
Open Enemies
- people who resist conformity or authority; those who don’t follow rules and openly challenge established systems, including in your relationships or partnerships
- people who are erratic and change their approach without warning, making it difficult to anticipate their next move; they keep you off balance in conflict
- people who are deeply committed to a cause or belief system that conflicts with yours
- people who use rational arguments or intellectual superiority to undermine you
- people who see you as outdated or resistant to change, and they openly oppose your attempts to keep anything the same
- your fear of losing independence; you may have conflicts over autonomy
- your preference to keep relationships more intellectual or detached
- your desire to stand out and be different; you may resist compromise or collaboration
- people who feel like you prioritize abstract ideals over real-life concerns or emotional interactions
- those who you see as limiting your freedom when they want to commit to you or want you to commit to something
Hidden Enemies
- people who use emotional manipulation against you; may subtly guilt-trip or play on your vulnerabilities
- people who are family or feel like family, but may undermine you emotionally or betray you from a place of intimacy
- people who smother you with kindness while undermining your independence or personal growth, keeping you emotionally dependent
- overprotective friends; people who believe they’re helping but in reality they’re holding you back from taking risks
- people who often come to you with their problems and expect you to constantly support them, which subtly drains your energy and leaves you emotionally depleted
- your tendencies to repress your emotions instead of expressing them, out of fear of vulnerability
- unresolved family issues, like past family dynamics or childhood wounds; may resurface in destructive ways
- your tendencies to cling to old relationships, memories, or situations, refusing to move on and embrace the present
- fear of emotional independence; your preference to remain in safe, familiar emotional territory rather than taking risks or making bold moves
Virgo Rising [ 7H Pisces - 12H Leo ]
Open Enemies:
- play the victim to gain sympathy and control because they want to make you feel guilty or responsible for their problems, whether at work or in relationships; may use your empathy against you
- those who thrive on disorganization or chaos; may create distractions or disruptions that impede your ability to perform effectively, while pretending to be supportive
- act vague or passive-aggressive to make it hard to see them as a direct threat
- those who struggle with addiction, escapism, or lack of boundaries
- people who are unreliable, chaotic, or difficult to deal with because they’re caught up in their own illusions
- you might deceive yourself relationships or refuse to see people for who they are
- your inadvertent victim mentality, which might invite people who perceive you as weak or manipulative based on the misinterpretations of your struggles
- your overwhelming compassion, which can lead to boundary issues, like being too accommodating or forgiving
Hidden Enemies:
- those who have inflated egos, want to be in the spotlight, or who resent your authority or visibility; undermine out of jealousy or envy because your success makes them feel small
- jealous peers who envy your confidence or charisma; may secretly wish for your downfall; may be cheerleaders who criticize you behind your back or undermine your creative endeavors
- people in positions of authority, like bosses, mentors, or people in positions of prominence; may seem charismatic on the surface but work against you in subtle, covert ways; see you as a threat to their influence or status; may undermine your confidence
- people who provide “constructive criticism” but actually delight in pointing out your flaws can be particularly dangerous, often exploiting your need for validation
- people who spread rumors or misinterpret your actions to create divisions, especially among friend or colleagues, which can make you question your standing in groups
- you refusing to acknowledge your flaws or ask for help when needed
- childhood wounds like not receiving the love or attention needed as a child growing up
- your need for validation; relying too heavily on other’s opinions can lead to self-doubt; feelings of inadequacy create a sense of paranoia and social anxiety
- your hidden need to control how others perceive you
Libra Rising [ 7H Aries - 12H Virgo ]
Open Enemies
- people who are blunt, combative and won’t hesitate to openly oppose or challenge you because they see you as competition
- people who lash out impulsively without thinking things through; expect explosive conflicts or heated arguments out of nowhere
- people who have short tempers and are quick to anger; they confront problems directly and forcefully, often escalating minor issues into full-blown battles; leave no room for negotiation
- people who prioritize their own needs over everyone else’s
- people who see relationships as battlefields and always try to one-up or dominate you in some way
- your constant need to be in charge
- your tendencies to be too aggressive or forceful in partnerships; others may feel overwhelmed or attacked by your assertiveness
- your impatience; you may demand instant results or immediate action without giving others time to respond or adjust
- your selfishness; your tendencies to be self-focused may make others see you as inconsiderate or overly competitive
- your tendencies to mask insecurities or admit when you’re wrong
Hidden Enemies
- people who criticize you subtly and constantly; they point out flaws and weaknesses, undermining your confidence and planting seeds of doubt
- people who quietly judge you for not being “perfect” by their standards
- people who may mess with your work, create tiny inconveniences, or spread subtle misinformation that can cause larger problems down the line
- people who downplay your ideas or efforts by pointing out practical “flaws”
- people who impact your health by slowly draining your energy or cause you stress
- your obsessive need for perfection; your fear of making mistakes or not being good enough
- your tendency to overthink details and situations to point of becoming paralyzed or indecisive
- your tendencies to get stuck in routine or habits that feel safe but are ultimately limiting; avoiding getting of of your comfort zone
Scorpio Rising [ 7H Taurus - 12H Libra ]
Open Enemies
- people who refuse to budge on their positions or perspectives; likely fight you through their persistence; long, drawn out conflicts
- may oppose you when it comes to issues involving resources or financial security; conflicts over money, property, or how material goods are shared
- people who resist anything that disturbs their sense of peace or stability; may oppose you if they feel that your actions threaten their routines or way of life
- people who indulge in excess, whether it’s food, wealth, or luxury; often try to make sure you don’t gain what they have
- people who see you as a threat to something or someone they “own”; can be territorial over relationships, positions, or material possessions
- your tendencies to refuse compromise
- your tendencies to prioritize wealth or resources over emotional connection
- your jealousy or possessiveness in relationships; focused on what you “own” or feel entitled to
- your tendencies to prioritize pleasure or comfort over relationship needs
Hidden Enemies
- people who appear charming but are secretly working against you; can have a polite facade as they try to subtly undermine your relationships or manipulate you
- people-pleasers; those who avoid addressing important issues or confront conflict directly
- people who never commit to a clear stand on things, keeping you in limbo with vague promises or half-hearted support
- people who present one face to you and another to others, trying to manipulate social dynamics
- your own indecision, your struggles to make firm choices and never committing to a clear direction
- your habit of putting others first and neglecting your own needs and desires
- your fear of confrontation, letting issues fester instead of addressing them
- your tendency to engage in relationships that are based on appearances rather than genuine connection
- your overdependence on others, becoming too reliant in others approval or decision-making
Sagittarius Rising [ 7H Gemini - 12H Scorpio ]
Open Enemies:
- people who use words as their primary weapon; they spread rumors, gossip, or misinformation, subtly undermining your reputation in social networks
- people who play both sides, often switching their allegiances or opinions to suit their personal gain
- people often try to engage in intellectual battles with you; may use clever arguments, half-truths, or outright manipulation to confuse you
- inconsistent rivals who oppose you one day and act friendly the next, keeping you guessing about their true intentions
- people who charm or persuade others through eloquent speech, but behind the scenes they’re sowing chaos
- your inconsistent or indecisiveness in partnerships; keep changing your mind or sending mixed signals
- your tendency to be too argumentative or quick to debate in your relationships; challenging other’s opinions or trying to prove you’re the smartest person in the room
- your inability to commit to one idea because you jump from them
- miscommunication, whether it’s through dishonesty, misunderstanding, or the inability to listen
Hidden Enemies:
- people from the past who hold onto grudges for years; won’t confront
- people who play psychological games; those who operate in the shadows and seem secretive, intense, or obsessed with control
- people who are obsessed or fixated on you, may harbor unspoken grudges or envy
- people who seek revenge for a perceived slight, waiting for the right moment to strike or sabotage you
- people who are subtly trying to gain power or control over you, slowly trying to dominate or manipulate you
- your fear of losing control, trying to manage every detail of your life
- your repressed emotions; you tend to hide your feelings like anger, jealousy, or fear
- your trust issues; you often fear betrayal or manipulation, leading you to push people away or act defensively
- you unconsciously engage in power struggles, which can manifest as subtle attempts to control others or situations
- your tendency to hide parts of yourself or keep things from others
Capricorn Rising [ 7H Cancer - 12H Sagittarius ]
Open Enemies
- people who turn emotional issues into weapons against you, playing on your vulnerabilities to get the upper hand
- people who bring up old wounds or past mistakes, using sentiment as a tool for manipulation
- family members or close friends who act like they’re on your side but turn against you when it benefits them
- people feign concern but are secretly trying to control your choices or decisions
- people who are passive-aggressive, subtly undermining you rather than confronting your directly
- your fear of vulnerability so you may act overly defensive or closed off
- your tendencies to project your insecurities into others
- your tendency to be overly nostalgic or resistant to change in relationships, like comparing new partners to past ones or refusing to let go of old dynamics
- dependency issues, heavily relying on others for support or validation
- your overprotectiveness which may lead to controlling behavior
Hidden Enemies
- people who have unrealistic ideals or beliefs that conflict with yours; may push you towards idealistic goals that are unattainable
- people who take risks without considering the consequences, leading you into situations where you may fail
- people who promote a life of escapism at the expense of commitments
- those you find in philosophical or ideological debates, who may challenge your beliefs in subtle ways, trying to expose weaknesses in your worldview or beliefs
- people who may come from a different cultural or educational background; may undermine your confidence by making you question your beliefs or values
- your own attachments to unrealistic expectations for yourself or others
- your desire for freedom and adventure, whether for pleasure or business, that may lead to neglected commitments
- your struggle with your own beliefs, which can lead to inner confusion or indecision, or manifest as a lack of conviction
- using travel, philosophy, or religion as a form of escapism from your problems rather than confronting them
- overindulgence in pleasure, spending, or lifestyle choices that sabotage your goals
Aquarius Rising [ 7H Leo - 12H Capricorn]
Open Enemies
- attention hogs who seek the spotlight and see you as competition; may openly challenge you for recognition, trying to outshine you in social or professional settings
- people who thrive on drama and confrontation; may create conflict through exaggerated emotions or bold claims
- entitled people who feel like they deserve the respect and admiration you receive
- people who use their charisma and charm to manipulate situations to their advantage, to make them seem more impressive or capable than you
- people who push your loyalty to the limit; may turn others against you by claiming your not worthy of their respect
- you may feel like you constantly need to be the center of attention or seem validation, and others may grow resentful
- your fear of vulnerability, fearing it will diminish your strength
- your over-competitive nature, always trying to compete to be the best or the brightest
- your dramatic outburst in conflicts, big or small
- your desire to be right that can make it hard to compromise
Hidden Enemies
- authority figures or mentors who appear supportive but subtly undermine your ambitions to hinder your progress
- people who criticize you from the background, making you doubt your capabilities
- people who exploit your fears about failure and authority; may subtly instill doubt in your amo
- people who are quietly working to achieve what you’re striving for, often cloaked as a facade of support
- people who provoke your insecurities in a way that leads you to procrastinate
- your anxiety that can lead you to avoid taking risks
- your constant need to judge yourself harshly, internalizing negativity that sabotages your confidence
- overwhelming yourself with responsibilities, taking on too much which can lead to resentment or burnout
- avoiding authority, which can lead to avoiding esponsibility, or facing challenges
- isolation due to ambition, which push away potential allies
Pisces Rising [ 7H Virgo - 12H Aquarius ]
Open Enemies
- people who constantly point out your flaws or mistakes, nitpicking every detail
- people who use your lifestyle choices against you, critiquing your health habits or routines, making you feel inadequate or guilty for your choices
- people who make you feel emotionally unsupported, challenging your emotions with harsh rationality
- unforgiving companions, people who leave little room for mistakes
- people who present themselves as helpful but use your vulnerabilities against you, like offer unsolicited advice then criticize you when you don’t follow through
- being overly critical of yourself, constantly judging your own actions or decisions
- your inflexibility; you struggle to adapt or compromise and others may feel stifled
- your overthinking; you may obsess over details, like in a disagreement
- you always try to present a perfect image, since you fear being seen otherwise
- your dependence on strict routines or standards in your relationships
Hidden Enemies
- individuals who appear friendly but have different ideologies or beliefs; may quietly oppose your views
- people who seem progressive but subtly sabotage your unconventional ideas, like twisting your plans or dismissing your contributions
- people who act like friends but fail to support you when it counts; may enjoy your company but undermine your efforts through neglect or indifference
- people who compete with you intellectually, often dismissing your efforts or planting seeds of doubt about your capabilities
- people who influence other’s opinions or create a false narrative about you, damaging your reputation without direct confrontation
- your own rebellious nature; you may struggle with standing or being unconventional in a way that leads to insecurities
- idealistic views, especially when others don’t live up to your expectations; can create hidden animosity
- your avoidance of facing responsibilities in favor of your ideals, especially when it comes to others who depend on you or expect more from you
- self-imposed isolation due to your unconventional approach to life, which can make relationships fade due to lack of engagement
#astrology#astrology observations#sidereal astrology#traditional astrology#7th house#12th house#leo rising#virgo rising#capricorn rising#gemini rising#libra rising#pisces rising#aquarius rising#aries rising#cancer rising#sagittarius rising#taurus rising#scorpio rising#progressed chart#astrology blog#astrology tumblr#enemies
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𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕
✿𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: Jungkook x Reader
✿ 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: The one where everytime you get dumped you pretend that you never met the guy before to mess with their heads. To the point that if you run into them somewhere you reintroduce yourself and act like you’ve never seen each other before.
Enters fuckboy Jungkook who disappears after your night together, not knowing how much he was about to regret that choice.
✿ 𝑻𝒂𝒈𝒔: Romance, Humor, Fluff, Angst, College AU
✿ 𝑨/𝑵: I’m truly sorry for this sad excuse of an update.
(Fanfic masterlist)
(support me on my ko-fi)
°•. ✿ .•°
𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨 - 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭��𝐨𝐧, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐲, 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬
(<<< part one)
“I can’t believe you’re doing this again” Jane’s voice rang through the phone as you walked down the streets towards your desired coffee spot.
You also couldn’t believe you were doing that again. You tried your best to live your life with no regrets, but men made it very hard.
“Have you seen him since he fled the crime scene?”
“Stop calling it a crime scene” you snapped.
“Well, have you?”
Your silence was enough of an answer. No, you had not seen or heard from Jungkook since he ran away from your bedroom in the dead of night, leaving behind only the smell of cologne and, funnily enough, a single sock. When you woke up that day to an empty bed, sheets crumbled and a mattress indented on the side where he had slept, all you could muster was a tired sigh of disappointment.
And to be completely honest, you were disappointed with yourself, not Jungkook. You expected nothing less than a quick escape of him. But you should’ve known better than to hope for anything. Despite everything, you were still an idealist at heart and you thought that maybe just this once…
You shook your head obstinately. You had learned early on that no good would come from moping around for men who would never once feel any regret for their thoughtless actions and if your pain were to be always one sided, then it was better not to feel any at all. Not to dwell on it, move on, learn from it and be better. Or be worse, sometimes, as self-improvement was not always your goal.
Sometimes, you chose to listen to the tiny revengeful angel on your shoulder - who kind of sounded like Taylor Swift - that screamed for violence and vindication.
As your failed relationships started to pile up, you did reach a point where you had to wonder if you were the problem, as it was the canonical event of all 20 something women. But observation, therapy, critical thinking and hereditary pettiness brought you to the decision that it was not, in fact, your fault. At least not all of it.
With that in mind, you left only the smallest of time slots in your booked and busy schedule to ponder and grieve over the fickle nature of boys’ interests. You had better, more important things to do, such as mindlessly scroll through Minecraft/AITA videos and save pilates routines that you were never gonna do.
Still, in an experience intrinsically feminine, you allowed yourself a little treat to cope with the slight burn of despondency in the back of your mind.
And so you directed yourself to the bougie coffee house near campus, hoping to drown your sorrows with an aggressively sweet and overly caffeinated drink.
“You should slash his tires”
“Jane, please, we have talked about this.”
“You should totally slash his fucking tires!"
"Saying it louder is not gonna make me agree with you! Jane…"
Suddenly your eyes found Jungkook's across the room filled to the brim with depressed, financially irresponsible students, making you pause and hold back the urge to curl your lips in distaste. It bothered you that even with scared eyes as big as saucers and hunched shoulders to appear smaller, Jungkook still managed to look good.
But you knew better than to let him know how much his presence and pretty face annoyed you. Boys like Jungkook only cared about having an impact on people’s life, very rarely caring if it was good or bad. He wanted a reaction out of you and you learned better than to give those away so carelessly.
So you frowned and looked away, the words practiced on your lips as you said “Some guy is staring at me.”
Jane laughed loudly on the phone “You’re a psycho, you know that?”
“I don’t know who it is, Jane, some dude” you stole a quick glance at him, finding vengeful glee at his shocked expression.
“Send me a pic of his reaction, I’m posting it on TikTok.”
You continued playing your part, ignoring your sister’s interruptions as you usually did “Of course I’m carrying a taser, Jane, I’m not an animal…”
“I’ll give you 5 bucks to tase him.”
“You know what, this coffee is not even worth the visual harassment, God I hate men…”
You walked out of the coffee house, hand empty but with a fulfilled sick sense of accomplishment as you stepped out into the street with a shit-eating grin.
“I hope you know what you’re doing” Jane said and you could hear the smile in her voice. Out of your two sisters, Jane was never the one to tell you to not do something, preferring to let you make your own mistakes.
And boy, did you.
You left your big, beautiful, tattooed mistake behind you, ready to move on to something less prone to disappointment, such as fictional men and your Stardew Valley husband “Dont worry” you told your sister “I don’t.”.
—
“What are you doing?” Jungkook asked, left eye twitching slightly at your unbothered expression.
After your confusing exit from the coffee shop and a good amount of jabs from his friends, Jungkook had to hunt you down across campus, finding you sitting under a tree with a book in your hands, looking way too peaceful for someone who just had humiliated him.
You looked down at your book with an arched eyebrow “Kegels, clearly. Why?”
“No, I mean…” Jungkook’s frustration was rising by the second, the vein on his neck jumping out “Why are you acting like you don’t know me?”
You frowned.
“Do I know you?” you asked, face doubtful.
“We have classes together?”
You blinked, impassive.
“We went on a date?”
A head shake.
“We slept together!”
“Nope, can’t say it rings any bells.”
That’s it. Jungkook was actually convinced you were clinically insane.
“How can you not remember?”
“How can I remember something that never happened?”
“But it did! You’re crazy! I chased you for weeks!”
You smiled, a trap.
“So, you're, like, in love with me?” you ask, tone condescending.
Jungkook scoffed and you weren’t sure if it was at the idea of love or loving you. “No, of course not.”
“So in this dream scenario of yours, we had sex but we weren’t together?”
“Trust me, this” he gestured between the two of you “is no dream scenario.”
“Well, aren’t you a charmer” you crossed your arms in front you, defensive “Let me get this straight. You, allegedly, chased me for weeks, but don’t really like me. Then, we had casual, out-of-relationship sex and then what? You banged my head against the headboard so hard I completely forgot about it? Your story is full of holes, my dude.”
You had to fight back the urge to smirk, energy spiking from feeding off of Jungkook’s stupefied confusion.
Nail in the coffin, you shrugged, turning your eyes back to your book “Maybe you weren’t that memorable and my mind deleted you like a childhood trauma.”
A slight left eye spasm was all the reaction you got at first, evolving to the pursing of pouty lips and the clenching of fists.
“You are insane” he said at last after seconds of turning clogs in his barely filled mind.
“Finally you said something true.”
Jungkook was equally bewildered and furious. He didn’t know what your deal was or what you were getting out of this, but your refusal to admit you had sex pissed him off deeply considering how much time and effort he put into getting you together.
“Also, I have to ask” you continued, clearly not done with your pursuit of driving him up the wall “what was your goal with this conversation? Chasing me for weeks to then sleep with me and then come here and tell me you’re not actually interested in me, but being upset when I don’t remember something that didn’t happen… What’s the point?”
Jungkook paused. Truly, he didn’t have much of an end goal in mind, actions fueled only by a bruised ego and a childish, borderline pathological need to prove himself.
When he didn’t answer, you stood up and gathered your things, keeping your head down to hide your poorly concealed satisfaction “I’ll let you ponder on that” you said “Don’t worry about reaching out with an answer, though.”
Finally, you looked up at him, face masked with faux awkwardness. “Anyway. Nice to meet you, I guess? No, actually, not really, this was weird as shit. You seem to have some things to figure out. Get help and take care, my dude.”
And so you left, leaving behind only a cloud of your bergamot perfume and a perplexed Jungkook blinking owlishly.
There was a sudden influx of thoughts rushing through his usually much less busy mind, the general tone of confusion ringing amongst humiliation and frustration.
When Jungkook first set his greedy eyes on you, he had an inkling that you’d be a handful and in the beginning, you truly were. You took pleasure in making everything much more difficult for him, running from his presence like the plague and approaching the whole subject of him like one would the subject of warts - reluctantly and with caution.
And if he were honest, he wasn’t too sure on why he insisted, but one would be surprised at how far Jungkook would escalate things out of spite and resentment.
It was that same sick combination of flavors that drove him insane for weeks, moving him to pester you until you gave him a chance. And he took it, lord, did he take it.
That night, he made every possible effort to please you, cloaked in his best, non-ranch stained clothes and best non-arrogant behavior.
And when morning came and he opened up his eyes before you did, tired out from the epitome of his bestest behavior, there was a moment of quiet as he watched you eyelids flutter delicately, soft arm draped lightly over his waist.
The night before had been… Fun, he thought, even before you had reached your bedroom. You were weird and used a bunch of words he didn’t know, but you also made him laugh and listened to him babbling about his interest without once looking bored, even going as far as asking questions about his farfetched MCU theories.
And despite your many (too many to count, insurmountable really) differences, you had… Chemistry, one could call it. Thick chemistry, palpable tension, pushing you towards each other despite your previous attempts to go the other way.
But no amount of chemistry could break Jungkook’s routine as inertia pushed him out of your bed, practiced steps light as feathers as he escaped your apartment with one last look to your sleeping form and somehow one less sock on his feet.
And as he left, there was an undiagnosed pounding in his heart he tried to chalk off as the result of his Dorito and monster drink based diet, but his eyes kept flashing back to where you rested even when he was miles away.
He tried to make sense of your persistent presence in the back of his mind. You were cool, he’d give you that. Hot too. But it didn’t matter how your body fit his like they were manufactured together or how your passive aggressive way of flirting (or insulting, he had a hard time telling them apart with you) never failed to steal a snort from his lips. And yeah, it was kind of nice when you called him cute everytime he didn’t understand something you said. It brought a blush to his cheeks and wild butterflies to his stomach, because… Well, no one had ever called him cute after middle school. Hot? Yes. Sexy? Once a week. Biggest dick ever? Yes, both meanings.
But not cute. And deep down, under layers of aggressively oversized shirts and muscles… Jungkook kind of liked being cute.
Jungkook shook that thought away. Despite all that, you were a point he had to make.
And he did! Point proven and undisputed, up until you looked at him like he was a silly little kid throwing a tantrum (which he kind of was) and questioned him and his sanity,
But Jungkook was obstinate and, even more, the sorest of losers. He had proven himself once and would again! He was a man on a mission, he decided, watching you walk away from him while mouthing the words “I’ll pray for you!”. And the mission was to either send you into a psychiatric hospital or get you back into his bed.
And if the butterflies in his stomach fluttered excitedly at that second prospect, he didn’t allow himself to ponder on it for a single second.
°•. ✿ .•°
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Astro Observations 4
Accuracy influenced by entire natal chart.
Venus Chiron Aspect
- Expressing love is not easy.
- Overly concerned with your social standing. Deeply hurt when not considered popular or attractive.
- Experiences that lead you to believe you are not attractive.Feeling rejected. Feeling undesirable.
- Encountering painful experiences in romantic relationships. Unable to forget past partners. Feeling haunted.
- If in a positively placed, you may find healing in a romantic relationship. Or this can be a fantasy you have of being saved.
- May consider and possibly get cosmetic surgeries. More likely if in aspect to Mars, 1st or 6th H.
- Problems with spending/money/possessions. This can manifest in many ways. Ex: Hoarding, overspending, debt, turing use money to buy love, valuing yourself based on how much you have/make, etc.
- Sign and house placement may indicate exactly what you are insecure about. Ex: Venus scorpio/Venus 8th H aspect chiron may = insecure about appearance of genitals. Venus 2nd H aspect chiron may = insecure about a facial feature.
Accuracy influenced by entire natal chart.
Mars Aspect Chiron
- Difficulty expressing mars traits effectively. Based on entire chart this can manifest in many ways. Ex: Repressing anger until violent outburst. Being passive aggressive. Inability to be direct. Being aggressive when trying to be assertive.
- To heal their chiron wound, it’s encouraged to find a release for your anger.
- Often, develop physical hobbies later in life to release anger. May be able to help other’s learn how to deal with their anger - anger management counsellor, self defence/martial arts teacher, etc.
- Having bad experiences with masculinity. Ex: Encountering weak men. Encountering violent men.
Accuracy influenced by entire natal chart.
Moon Aspect Chiron
- Mother is emotionally or physically hurt. Mother may not be able to fully nurture & protect you due to this reason.
- Being so sensitive you become detached. Losing touch with your emotions due to emotional trauma.
- Desire to save the women in your life. Inability to help them. As a result, emotionally detaching from these people to avoid painful feelings such as hopelessness.
- Being or feeling like a loner. Not relating to those around you. Those around you do not understand you. Based on entire natal chart, this can manifest as people believe you are overly emotional. Or people believe you are void of any emotion.
- Difficulty expressing emotion. Dislike of sharing feelings. May have bad experiences with sharing your true feelings in the past.
- Emotional intelligence. You understand why you have troubles in your emotional life. Yet, you are more likely to be empathetic with others than yourself.
Accuracy influenced by entire natal chart.
Pluto Aspect Moon
- Power struggle between you and the mother. Suffocating mother. A mother who does not respect privacy. A mother who doesn’t care about your boundaries.
- Intense and obsessive emotions. Feeling like you are losing your mind. Moon swings. Heavy feelings of jealously.
- Obsessive thoughts about revenge.
- Emotional abuse - dealing with narcissists, gaslighting, manipulated, cheated, etc. May be the victim or the abuser or both.
- Experience emotional deaths. Later in life, they have experiences that force them to change for a better life. Transforming yourself.
Accuracy influenced by entire natal chart.
Venus Conjunct Mars
In the chart of women, I have noticed partners were all complete strangers who made the first move. Ex: Random customer asking for her # at work. & coming up to them outside our university. DM from a stranger on IG by surprise.
Another thing two of these meetings have in common is there was a brother, cousin or make friend that helped introduce the man to the woman.
For ex: the random customer wasn’t so random, he knew her because she previously worked with his brother. Although, he was still a stranger to her.
For people with this conjunction, their romantic lives works best when they don’t go out of their way to meet partners. Things like signing up for a dating app lead to dead relationships. They needed someone to match their bold and direct energy. Often, they may find that they do encounter many bold and confident men.
Mars in First House
They develop or are born with a prominent scar on their body. Often, this scar just makes them look more attractive.
Ex: Birthmark on the face, Heart Surgery scar, Acne scars, Cut, C-section scar, etc.
When Venus is involved the scar may be around the chin area or lower face. Ex: a mole or little line under the lips.
This is a very stereotypical observation but it is true every time I meet someone with this placement!
Jupiter in 10th House
For two of my family members with this in their Vedic natal chart, they ended up in careers where they work from home. Jupiter is not the ruler of their 4th H.
They found these jobs after the age of 30. Early life they worked various jobs where one had to be physically present.
Saturn in 3rd House
This can create a karmic connection with siblings. You may feel restricted when communicating with them. You may feel there is a coldness to your connection with them. You may become emotionally or physically distant.
You may even see this strained connection in their natal charts. For ex: My cousin doesn’t get along with my other cousins (her sister & brother). She has Saturn in 3rd, her brother has Saturn in 3rd too. Their sister has lilith in 3rd.
Lilith in 3rd House
This suggests one feels excluded from connections with siblings. And feeling like an outcast in early life/ early education. The way they communicate may be very unique. They aren’t fully accepted or understood by their peers.
She does feel excluded as her brother and older sister are closer. Her lilith in 3rd manifests as her being excluded from that bond.
Although, the relationship between the brother and older sister isn’t that great either. They both have Saturn in 3rd. They are similar in age and grew up together in the same household. Yet, there is emotional distance between the two.
Accuracy for your chart will be influenced by entire chart.
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