#and out of left field ‘I wanna ride you till you see stars’

[ourlastbastion]

Okay if I thought this run had derailed I did not fully understand just how far off course it’s gotten. Cause I was not expecting all of my companions to suddenly wanna bang my Durge.

This was supposed to be the murder run where I go evil. Why does this man murdering things make y’all horny????

[shra-vasti]

MAKES ME WONDER [1/40] The Concert

→ Synopsis : Your dream to attend a Seventeen concert was finally coming true but you weren't prepared for the events that were going to follow after Joshua made eye contact with you and chose to make you his partner for the mini game and take you out on a date as a winning prize.

→ Genre : fluff

→ Type : Idol x fan au

→ Word count : 1.4k

→ Taglist : @mngyuheart @vannie24 @uglyratlmao (let me know of you want to be added to the taglist)

→ Pairing : idol!Joshua x fan!reader

→ Main Seventeen Masterlist

→ Makes Me Wonder Masterlist

You sat in front of your laptop, anxiously waiting for pledis to open up the site to buy Seventeen's concert ticket, you weren't sure if you would get a chance since they have been getting more and more popular with their career, your friend Miu was seated beside you with the same anxious expression. 

"You think we would be able to snatch the tickets before it gets sold out?"

Your eyes were trained on the time that was showing at the corner of your laptop, you had tried to go to their concert before too but the first time you did, you were 2 minutes late and the other time the site crashed, you weren't going to give up this time around since they were going to be at your city and you've been staring at the opened site from the last one hour, you were sure you would get it this time. 

"I swear to God I'll go feral if I don't get it this time, I just have one damn wish to see them live at least once in my whole lifetime, it shouldn't be that hard."

Your friend just giggled at your anxious state even though she felt the same but you had been waiting for this time way before she did and she understood how you felt. 

The notification for the tickets to be ready to sell popped up and you immediately started the process of buying two seats in the front row although you knew it would be hard to get. 

You had been practicing how to buy the ticket fastest ever since you lost the chance due to your naivety and less experience in the said field but you had spent the last couple of days watching how to buy tickets fast and you were hoping that your finger would work magic this time around.

You had Miu's laptop opened in case you couldn't do it with your own but you were hoping you wouldn't reach that stage, you were hoping for the front seats but you wouldn't mind getting anywhere at this point. 

Your heart was beating loudly and your hands were shaking due to nervousness, Miu leaned closer to the laptop screen yelling incoherent words which went above your head and you gave your card details ending the process. 

You looked towards Miu and then back at the screen multiple times yelling in victory once you got the notification that you got your tickets. 

"WE DID IT." 

You crawled on the floor as if all the strength had left your body and you and Miu stayed there for what seemed like eternity, wide grins plastered on both of your faces, you finally got a ticket for Seventeen's concert. 

▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️

"Miu, get ready fast, you don't wanna be late for the concert, I'm literally going to pass out if you don't hurry up, I'm getting dizzy." 

You hurriedly put your earrings on, taking a run towards your shoes, you wanted to wear as comfortable clothes as possible, you knew the arena had seats for the audience but you wanted to wear something which was well planned but comfortable, it wasn't like any of the boys would notice your presence to over dress yourself and feel uncomfortable all throughout the concert, you wanted to enjoy it as much as possible, it was once in a life chance. 

"I'm ready, let's go, I booked the cab and it's waiting outside."

You locked your apartment, making a run towards the cab and getting seated. Your throat felt dry and you were sure you would cry due to being overwhelmed. 

You had followed the boys ever since their debut days but since you were also young your parents didn't allow you to go to the concert but now that you were finally going to see them, you were about to piss your pants. 

You heard they would be in your city for almost two weeks before finally going to another city and you were glad they would spend the next two weeks relaxing along with practicing for the next concert. 

The next few hours were a blur to you as you found yourself seated in your assigned seat in the front row, it was a bit to the left of the center but front row nonetheless. 

"We're going to get noticed by them, I hope we do." 

Miu yelled since the screams of the other carats were too loud, you were massaging your elbow since someone knocked you sideways and you collided with the wall due to the impact. 

Carats can be wild when they want, the journey from the gates till the seats were one hell of a ride, you don't even know which of your body parts was hurt at this point. 

"Just be glad we were able to attend the concert and were lucky enough to get the front row, it's still the dream of many carats, although it would be nice to get noticed by them, let's not make our hopes high." 

You dismissed her from talking any further, you wanted to save your yelling for the fanchants. The large screen started showing the music videos of the boys from debut till the recent one and you were shocked to see everyone chanting the fanchant even at the music videos, you followed soon jumping and yelling at the same time and dancing the choreography you've learnt by heart. 

The countdown began and the cheers got louder and louder as the boys made their grand entrance with Clap blasting all throughout the arena. 

"ARE YOU READY?" 

You could feel your eyes water and tears escaped your eyes as you took in their sites clad in king like outfits with red sash, it was a dream come true, you eyes scanned each other the boys as they performed their first song.

"Bro, is this even real?" 

You shook your head not feeling it in your system to even utter a single word as you kept on cheering for the boys with a bongbong in your hand. Every single one of them looked so good you weren't sure if they were real at this point. 

"Say the name, Seventeen." 

The boys greeted as everyone vowed down and did their individual greetings.

"HOW ARE YOU FEELING CARATS?" 

Everyone screamed as Vernon started talking, making the others laugh because he couldn't continue. 

"Okay we know you're excited but please calm down." 

The crowd comparatively calmed down as the members continued interacting with carats. 

Every carat beside you kept on cheering and screaming their name but all you could do was stare at them in complete awe, so much for practicing to do fanchants when you weren't even able to open your mouth even when they were just talking with each other. 

You calmed your nerves, a foolish smile on your face as they introduced their next song to be a vocal unit song 'Second life'. You smiled when you realized that your favorite song was up next and you cheered loudly when the boys came on the stage, dressed differently. 

You nodded your head along with the bongbong in your hand as you looked at whichever member near to you, getting lost at how beautiful they sounded live. 

The crowd cheered loudly again and you looked at Miu in confusion. 

"They are carrying roses in their hands, maybe they'll give it to some of the carats." 

Your eyes widened in shock as you took a look at the members holding single roses in their hand and disperse among the wide stage. 

From where you were seated, you could clearly see Joshua and Jihoon walking towards the left of the center, where you were seated. The carats near you screamed as you just watched them, Jihoon stopped midway where as Joshua stopped right where you were. 

The cheers got more loud from your side when Joshua looked down, his eyes making a contact with yours, a gentle smile adorning his face as he waved at you. 

He squats down when you didn't move from your seat, you could still hear other's deafening screams but you weren't sure what was happening. 

He outstretched his hands towards you motioning you to take the rose in his hands. 

You just sat there looking at him shocked, the bongbong in your hand was on your lap, you couldn't even react as Miu and others yelled how lucky you were to get noticed by him. 

You slowly stood up and Miu pushed you towards his direction as you shakingly reached your hands and took the flower from his hand, your hand brushed his during the process and you were sure seeing the stars.  

He put the mic back and sang his lines. 

"We’re already beautiful, I like it because it’s us, no words are necessary, the gaze, the touch."

He got up as he sang, eyes never leaving yours and you were sure your face was as red as tomato. 

"What just happened?" 

[backtothestart02]

The Football Star and the New Girl - 1/? | westallen fanfiction

A/N: I suck at titles lately...oh well. Enjoy this first chap! The story itself is based loosely on a dream I had. :)

...

Synopsis:  HS!AU - They were like ships passing in the night. Would they ever meet on the same page?

...

Chapter 1 -

Francine West walked down the hall and peeked into the open doorway of her daughter’s bedroom. She found her sitting on her bed, her things packed in multiple suitcases at her feet, but she herself – Iris West, 14 ¾ years old – did not look very excited to be leaving her home without her family. She was looking at a photo album. Tears were staining her cheeks.

Francine rested her head against the door frame as she watched her, her heart aching to heal the wounds she knew would only grow more with time.

“It’s not too late to change your mind, you know.”

Iris’ head whipped toward the sound, and she hastily shut the photo album and tossed it onto her bed, wiping her cheeks quickly after.

“Mom!”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t interrupting, was I?”

She walked into the room, and Iris scooted over a little so she could sit next to her on the bed.

“No, not at all. I’m glad you’re here.”

They shared a sweet look, then Iris leaned her head on her mother’s shoulder. Francine held out her hand, and Iris intertwined her fingers in her mother’s grip.

“I still want to go,” she assured her.

“Yeah?”

She nodded against her shoulder.

“I need stability, mom. I can’t be moving around going from school to school every six months. I’m proud of dad, of course, and I love being with you all. I’ll miss you a lot, but…I want friends and the same school and a life.”

“A boyfriend?” Francine nudged her gently.

Iris rolled her eyes and smiled.

“Maybe…eventually. I’m only 14, Mom.”

Francine nudged her again.

“14 ¾.”

Iris laughed.

“Yeah, yeah, okay. A boyfriend would be nice, once I get to know the guy for more than a couple months. But first, friends.”

“Friends are important too.”

Iris nestled into her mother’s embrace and sat in silence for a while.

“What about Wally? Is he going to be going to new schools every-”

“I’ve decided to attempt homeschooling.”

Iris lifted her head.

“You have?”

She nodded.

“He’s only 10, so the curriculum is simpler, and he’s pretty introverted, even around us, so Ruffly can suffice for his friend. At least for now.”

Francine pursed her lips. She did want real, live human friends for her son, as well as for her daughter. But for now their golden retriever seemed to be what got the most laughs out of young Wally West. She would hope that lasted at least through another school year.

“I’d take him with me if I could,” Iris said.

“You’d take both my children from me?” Francine asked, only half joking. “What am I supposed to do all day long without your brother to drive me crazy?”

Iris looked into her mother’s eyes and saw that they were watering.

“Oh, Mom, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s okay, honey.”

She sighed and pressed a kiss to her daughter’s temple.

“I know it hasn’t been easy for you, losing your friends so often because we have to move. It’s the life of a military family, I’m afraid. I signed up for it when I agreed to marry the man, but you, my baby, were just born into it.”

She pulled back to look into her eyes.

“I want you to know though that if at any time the school isn’t working out for you, we’ll come get you in a heartbeat.”

Iris winced. She knew it wasn’t that simple. They were moving overseas to a new post. Iris would be staying here in the U.S. Even if the school was a bit of a move for her too. It wasn’t anything she wasn’t used to.

Still, she obliged her.

“Yeah, okay, mom.”

She smiled, but Francine knew better.

Footsteps sounded down the hallway, and interrupting their little moment came Joe West with little Wally West on his back. Joe was dressed in all camouflage wear, and Wally was giggling from bouncing up and down on his “horsie”. Ruffly was close at Joe’s heels.

“What is this here?” Joe asked, witnessing the tear streaks on his two ladies’ faces.

“Dad!” Iris sprung up.

She ran to him, and he slowly released Wally off his back, who promptly complained when his shoeless feet hit the floor.

Joe hugged his daughter tight, lifting her off her feet briefly and kissing the side of her face.

“Oh, baby girl, are you sure you want to go?”

Iris laughed when she was back on her feet again. She wiped away fresh tears.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’m just gonna miss you guys, but I need this. For me. Okay?”

He sighed and nodded, then looked across the room at his wife.

“She’s so grown-up.”

“I know.” Francine sniffled.

“Why is everyone crying in here?” Wally asked. “Aren’t we gonna see her for Christmas?”

Everyone laughed.

“Aren’t you gonna miss me at all, you little punk?” Iris asked, ruffling his curly hair.

“Eh, maybe a little.” He shrugged, uncaringly.

Iris rolled her eyes.

“Well, it’s time to get going then, yeah?” She looked at her parents who nodded.

“Yeah,” Joe said. “That seven-hour drive is no joke.”

“Seven hours! That’s a lifetime!” Wally whined.

Ruffly barked.

“Just wait till your plane ride,” Iris egged him on. “That might be even longer.”

Wally groaned. “I hate traveling!”

“Better make sure you have something to keep you occupied with then, Walls,” Joe said, and with that Wally zipped out of Iris’ room to make sure his many bags included plenty of toys to play with on his very long journey.

“I’ll go help him,” Francine said. “We’ll meet you at the door with his things.”

“Sounds good.”

Joe smiled, but it was pained. Once Francine had left, all the toughness had melted away again, as it often did with his baby girl.

“Boy, am I gonna miss you,” he said.

“I’m gonna miss you too, Dad.” Another tear streamed down her cheek, and he was quick to wipe it away. “You look so handsome in your uniform, Dad.”

He chuckled.

“Alright, enough sadness for now. We can do this again in seven hours.”

She laughed. “Okay.”

“You wanna help me get all a million and one suitcases out to the car?”

She took a step back and looked around her room.

“Yeah, sorry about that.”

“You can apologize by helping me.”

“Deal.”

She smiled, and slowly they made their way to the front door and then the driveway with all seven of her suitcases. It took a few trips, but then she knew she would need every bit of her belongings for the long school years that lay ahead.

Her family would visit as often as they could, of course, but it would be difficult with them living overseas. She probably wouldn’t see them again until her dad was forced to move again like they were doing now.

But she’d thought long and hard   this. She longed for friendships that lasted, for a life beyond what was available to a military family. She needed to connect and to be free for a while, even at the sacrifice of not seeing her family every day, especially her mom and baby brother. This new school – Huntington Farm and Boarding School – would be just the ticket.

Out in the middle of nowhere somewhere down south, the school was on a huge stretch of lush land that also served as a farm – no animals, just crops, which was a shame, Iris thought. She’d miss having even just her dog around too.

But the place was renowned for its academics and social scene there in the middle of the wilderness. A boarding school for those who needed it, traveling families mostly; and if the colorful flyer they’d sent in the mail was any indication, Iris would absolutely love it.

“Everybody ready?” Joe asked, when everyone had piled into the car sometime later.

“Ready!” the family cheered.

Joe chuckled and started the car.

“Huntington Farm and Boarding School, here we come. Watch out for your most dazzling student yet.”

He met Iris’ eyes in the rearview mirror, and they sparkled.

“You know it!” Iris said.

Joe grinned and backed out of the driveway.

They were all on their way to bigger adventures now.

…

One year later…

Iris sat on top of the fence on the edge of the football field, waiting for who she hoped she hadn’t misinterpreted wrong. After nearly a year of first claiming he didn’t like her and then months of mixed signals, Iris was convinced he actually did like her, as much as she liked him.

Sitting on the fence post waiting for the guy to come kiss her seemed like an odd tradition, but it was built into the social aspect of the school, and she figured it was the only guaranteed way she’d know if he was really crushing or not.

She’d dressed as cute as she could for a game, and soon she’d know if it would pay off or not.

Biting her bottom lip, she gasped quietly when she saw him coming around the corner heading right towards where she had herself perched.

Barry Allen was the star football player – star of every sport he could get himself into really – and they’d been making genuine eyes at each other for weeks. Now, as he approached her, it felt as if their whole future was hanging in the balance.

He stopped about 20 feet away. Bracing himself maybe for the decision he’d have to make? Presumably have gained the courage, he continued his walk, headed straight for her and stopped directly in front of her.

Iris waited, her heart hammering a mile a minute in her chest. He was tall enough to reach her – so tall, but she bent her head anyway, and sure enough their lips met in a soft, tender kiss.

She opened her eyes as he took a step back, but the smile on his face was undeniable. So was hers.

Just as he was about to say something truly romantic – she’d decided – one of his teammates burst behind them.

“Did you just kiss Iris West?”

Barry spun around, panic on his features.

“I-”

Another teammate appeared.

“Wait, what?”

“Barry just kissed Iris!”

“But I thought he hated her. He swore he did.”

Iris tensed on the top of the fence, waiting for Barry to smooth the whole thing over. It couldn’t be that big of a deal that he’d pretended to hate her all while flirting with her on the downlow for nearly a year…could it? It was annoying to her for sure, but his teammates couldn’t be that annoyed, could they?

Barry never smoothed it over.

His teammates left, looking disgusted, and Barry looked back at Iris for one more moment, not knowing what to do. Then he left, calling after them.

“Wait, guys, it’s not what it looks like!”

And Iris sat alone on top of the fence, the magical memory of her first kiss completely shattered.

How would they come back from this?

[obxsummer]

Heart of Gold // Castle

word count: 1.8k

warnings: kidnapping, cursing

summary: welcome to pogue kingdom! as resident princess, you’re hiding your relationship behind doors with jj until one day, he’s left to solve the puzzle of your abrupt disappearance.

a/n: oh i’m so excited for this you have no idea

masterlist

series masterlist

--

The marble floor was cold beneath your bare feet as you moved through the hallway as quietly as possible. The castle was quiet, as it usually was at night, and you definitely didn’t want to be found. You pressed your back against the wall at the sound of heavy footsteps, your breath catching in your throat as you tried to remain quiet.

“There you are,” You giggled quietly as the owner of the footsteps stopped in front of you, soft hands grabbing your pink cheeks as the boy who owned your heart held you close. You had barely seen him in hours and despite the fact that you lived in the same place, it was rare you got more than a few hours a day to yourselves.

“Hi, princess.” Although it really served as your title in the family, JJ never failed to call you his favorite nickname. Despite your protests, the always swore you deserved to be treated like a princess even if you weren’t one at some point. His arms were warm around you as he brushed hair behind your ear. He could smell the coconut of your shampoo from your recent shower, his favorite scent of yours. “How was your day?”

You stood on your tiptoes, brushing a soft kiss on his lips as you buried your head in his shoulder. “Boring. I missed you.” You played with the soft blond hair on the nape of his neck, running your fingers through the strands.

“Come on.” JJ glanced around to make sure nobody was watching you. You smiled as JJ ran across to where your bedroom door and slipped inside without notice. You moved around the room, lighting a couple of candles amongst the dimmed lights. “Finally!” JJ groaned as he wiggled out of his stuffy uniform before folding it and placing it by the door. He was left in his boxers and a white t-shirt, and though you preferred him with nothing, he always looked so good no matter what he was wearing.

You swung your legs back and forth as you sat on the edge of your giant bed, fingers playing with the threads of your silk pajamas. JJ came to stand in front of you, placing his hands on your thighs as he leaned down to kiss you. “Do you ever wonder what they’d say?” You mumbled as you held his cheeks to look into his beautiful blue eyes.

“Doesn’t matter,” JJ whispered as he kissed the tip of your nose. “As long as I have you, I don’t care what happens.” He peppered kisses amongst your skin as his fingers softly rubbed your sides. JJ adored you. He always looked at you like you put the stars in the sky every single night. He couldn’t imagine a day without your beautiful face in it.

You laughed as he gently pushed you back until you hit the comforter beneath you before he rested on top of you, his head lying on your stomach. You couldn’t stop the smile from forming as you played gently with his hair.

In the Pogue Kingdom, there was rarely any conflict that emerged to cause issue. Your parents were fair rulers and truly cared for their subjects that lived in the surrounding village. You were their only daughter, your older brother John B in line for the throne ahead of you, but you never once cared about wearing the crown. Having the boy in your arms was more than enough for you and you were so so happy with that.

JJ had been assigned as your personal guard after an incident two years ago. It was your fault, really, but since he was the one to save you, your parents deemed it best that he remain at your side whenever given the chance. He was still in training, but he took the position with the utmost honor and swore he would keep you safe.

Days like today were common. You rarely saw each other since you and John B were studying today with your tutor, Pope. He was around your age with his parents working in the kitchen, but he was so smart that he accompanied you and your brother on your learning sessions. The last member of your group was your best friend and handmaid Kiara. You hardly considered her your personal maid, however, and treated her with an amazing amount of respect that she swore she never had a hard day of work in her life. Truly, you were surrounded by your best friends at any moment of the day.

On the other side of Kildare, lied the Kook Kingdom, ruled by the often cruel Cameron family. You loved the princess, Sarah, as she snuck away often to visit your brother and spend a day in the more peaceful of the two kingdoms. Your parents welcomed her with open arms, completely understanding of the situations she encountered at home and they never told a soul when she visited. It wasn’t that the Camerons were terrible all the time, but they placed their own needs before the rest of the kingdom. Not to mention, their soon-to-be-king Prince Rafe had been demanding your hand in marriage since you could remember. No matter how many times you disagreed, he still continued to pester his request.

You had heard stories of the Kook Kingdom. The royal family there appeared gracious and kind with all of their luxuries, but really, the village itself was crumbling from the inside out. Many of the subjects didn’t enjoy the ruling family and often feared for their lives at points.

The members of the Pogue Kingdom could never agree to that issue. They loved their village and they loved the family ruling it. It wasn’t rare that you, your brother, or even your parents would visit the town for a day or two and speak to the people to truly get to know them. They greeted you and you always returned the gesture before sitting down for conversations. Never once had any backlash come for you or your family in the palace.

Eventually, you and JJ both dozed off to sleep in each other’s arms. This also wasn’t uncommon. Ever since he had been assigned to you, your relationship grew stronger into one of love amongst two young people. You hid behind closed doors, not wanting to lose JJ due to your relationship where it became even harder to see him at a moment’s notice. The only people who were aware of your relationship were John B, Kiara, and Pope and you planned to keep it that way.

“Rise and shine!” Kiara’s voice traveled through your slowly brightening room, shaking you from your slumber. You groaned, hands blindly searching for JJ under the covers even though you knew he wasn’t there. He never was, not on his own fault of course, but it risked getting the two of you caught if he stayed till morning.

“Kie,” You huffed as she tugged the pillow from over your head. “I just wanna sleep!”

She rolled her eyes and pulled your curtains open a bit further to let more light in. “Well, I’m sorry to break it to you, but you’ve got a busy schedule today, your highness.”

“You lie.” You chucked another pillow at her when she laughed. “I have absolutely nothing to do today.”

Kiara placed the pillows neatly on your bed before sitting next to you. “That is true. However, I heard that it’s a beautiful day for riding, which means you and JJ could probably sneak out for some alone time. But that’s only if you get up and ready.”

You mumbled some more complaints but let her drag you out of bed regardless. You were quick to get ready with the idea in mind that the sooner you ate breakfast, the sooner you and JJ could be out in the fields with the horses for the day.

“Well, well, well. Look who decided to show up,” Your brother teased as you entered the large dining hall. He was the only one at the table seeing as your parents were early risers and were most likely going about their day.

You flipped him off as you sat next to him. “Shut up. You’re just as lazy as I am,” You defended before thanking the server for bringing your food. “Usually, you’re still in bed if I recall correctly.”

“You got me.” He shrugged as he finished the last bite of his pancakes. “What are you doing today?”

You held your fork in your hand as you gave him a small glare. “Is this your way of asking me to distract Mom and Dad so you can go sneak off to see Sarah?”

John B gave you a pleading look. “Please! Just for a couple of hours. We won’t be long, I promise. She just wants to go into the village for a bit.”

“Well, I’m going riding, so if that’s distraction enough, call it that,” You huffed as you began eating your breakfast. You really didn’t mind covering for John B. He constantly did for you and JJ so it was only you returning the favor.

“Close enough,” He agreed as he got to his feet and walked over to kiss your head before running out of the room. “Thank you!”

“Yeah, yeah,” You grumbled to yourself as you stabbed your eggs slightly aggressively, “Always covering his ass. Nobody ever saves mine.”

You quickly finished your meal before practically running down to the stables to where you were to meet JJ. To your happiness, the blond boy was already prepping your horses for the day, his white uniform reflecting the sun as he worked on getting the saddles in place.

“Hi, JJ,” You greeted as normally as possible as you stood in the doorway of the stables, admiring his stature.

He glanced over his shoulder, a smile forming on his face as he realized it was you. “Hi, princess. Ready to go?”

You nodded. “I just gotta change and then I’ll be good.” You gave him a smile before jumping forward to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. Turning on your heel, you walked over to the changing rooms where your riding gear was in your cubby. You changed out your clothes and double checked your appearance in the mirror before walking back out.

To your surprise, the horses were all ready to go but remained in their designated stables with JJ nowhere in sight. You frowned at the lack of his presence and walked outside to see if he was waiting in the sunlight but came up empty handed.

“JJ? You called as you spun in a circle in search of your boyfriend. “What the hell?”

You didn’t have time to scream when a hand clamped over your mouth, another wrapping around your waist as you started to struggle. Your hands were pulled behind you as something tight was placed around them and locked them into place before you were shoved to your knees.

“Looks like lover boy left you at the wrong time, princess.”

--

tags: @dpaccione​

wanna be tagged in the next part? let me know here

[jalapeno-princess]

Just Weren’t Meant To Be

(THE BICEPS) (I’M SCREAMING)

Mark Tuan X Reader

Word Count: 10K

Genre: Angsty Angst, Lovers to Ex’s

Summary: You find yourself returning back to California after four years of being away in order to attend the wedding of your best friend BamBam. Although you were more than excited to spend time with your family and to show your soon-to-be husband Jinyoung around the place you were born and raised, there was a specific person you weren’t all too excited to have to see again. Your first love, Mark Tuan. 

A/N: Based on the song “Home from the summer” by Sara Kay. I heard this song a couple of days ago and the story just came out like it normally does after I finish listening to a song. I started writing Chapter four in the “Crazy little thing called love” series, but I’m going to be honest--I’m having a little bit of writer’s block with that story and I’m frustrated because I want to hurry up and finish the series because I have a lot of other ideas planned, but my life is all over the place right now and so is this story. But I hope you all enjoy it anyway. Happy reading! 

We started getting close Freshman year, when all our friends were smoking cigarettes And we couldn't stand that secondhand smoke So we'd leave and drive around until you had to drop me off at home Swear that was yesterday But in two weeks I'd be moving south And you'd be moving to a town that I had never heard of I wish we had more time, why did I ever wanna grow up? You said you'll see me When we're home for the summer We won't have to work so we're gonna Do whatever the hell we wanna 'Cause we know that one day we'll be Gone from each other

Hey Mark?”

“Hm?”

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

You and your best friend Mark were currently lying on his roof, gazing at the stars while talking about how he needed to take his car to the auto repair shop when you found yourself curious about the future. The two of you were currently in your senior year of high school and it didn’t occur to you how time practically came and went in the blink of an eye. It felt like it was just yesterday you and the boy who’s face was smashed against your navel were introduced to one another. 

Back in freshman year, there was one night that your best friend BamBam was meant to pick you up from a coffee shop after you worked on a group project for more than three hours. Two of your group members were actually upperclassman and they offered to drop you off, but because BamBam already agreed to doing so—you politely declined. However, you found yourself waiting almost twenty minutes after they all left just to get a response back from the older boy. Seeing as how you’ve been friends with him for almost five years, you should have been aware of the fact that he had a tendency to make multiple plans with different people. 

“Y/n—shit, I was supposed to pick you up tonight wasn’t I? I’m so fucking sorry—ah, I’m like forty minutes away; let me call you a cab. I’ll pay for it—wait, I have a better idea. I have a friend who lives right by the shopping mall, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind taking you home. He owes me one anyway. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” 

You wanted to yell at him; how could he be so irresponsible and forget about the favor he was the one to offer in the first place. He was completely aware that you were the definition of an introvert. Sometimes, you had a hard time processing the fact that you both were friends in the first place. You and BamBam were complete opposites; he was outgoing and extremely friendly. 

His bright and bubbly personality was one that you were always jealous of. You couldn’t talk to someone for more than five minutes without having a mental breakdown. A part of you wanted to say no; although you and BamBam had such a tight-knit friendship, there were still some things about him that you had no idea about. His group of friends; the ones he’d hang out with when he wasn’t with you just so happened to be a mystery to you. 

The only thing you knew about them were their faces. You didn’t know any of their names; nor have you been introduced with any of them, but it was because BamBam claimed that he wanted to keep you all to himself. He was extremely protective over you. From the time you both were kids, BamBam was like your shadow. 

Everywhere you went, best believe he was right there with you—no matter where or when. You were the only person in his life that has been a constant and he was going to make sure it stayed that way. When Mark arrived less than ten minutes after you got off the phone with BamBam, you were mentally thanking him for his failure to be your ride home. 

Sure, you believed your best friend was one of the most attractive boys you’ve seen in your life, but the minute he parked the car and made his way over to you, your heart felt as if it was about to jump out of your chest and in to his hands. He was beautiful in a way that you didn’t think boys were capable of being. His smile—God, it had to be the prettiest one to have been sent your way. 

“Hey, you must be y/n. I’m Mark. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner—and I’m even sorrier that you have BamBam as a friend. Let’s get you home.” 

You didn’t know what to expect on the ride back to your house, but laughing till your stomach hurt was the last thing you thought would have happened. What started off as a simple joke about how BamBam has the attention span of a puppy turned in to a vast conversation about how gummy worms were way better than gummy frogs. You didn’t think you would’ve had as much fun as you did, but now that you knew of Mark Tuan and how he was like, you wouldn’t be able to get enough of him.  

“Let me think, oooh! Rich—hahahaha! I’m kidding—well, not really. I actually wouldn’t mind being an astronaut!” You playfully rolled your eyes before shoving him off of your lap at the sound of his unrealistic expectations. 

“Mark, I’m being serious.”

“And so am I! What? You don’t think I’d be able to get a job at NASA and float through outer space—fine. But I don’t know what you mean by “when we grow up.” Y/n, we’re months away from becoming adults. We’re old.” 

You giggled softly at the way he whined when talking about how old the two of you were going to be. Unlike Mark who hated the idea of aging and having to prepare for the real world, you were excited to finally go off to college and possibly get a job that allowed you to travel the world. You still had yet to decide exactly what major you planned on studying, but you knew you wanted to go away for college. 

Studying abroad has been a dream of yours for as long as you could remember. One thing you really enjoyed was learning more about many different cultures around the world and you’d find yourself reaching at any opportunity offered that would allow you to actually pursue your dreams. Mark on the other hand, couldn’t give less of a shit about what field he was going in to. 

The boy hated school with a passion and if it weren’t for your nagging and the constant need to force him to complete his work, Mark was pretty sure he would have flunked at least two—if not all of his classes if you weren’t so persistent with his education. That was only one of the many things Mark adored about you. You were the only person who genuinely cared about his success—his well-being, his happiness and just him in general. Honestly, Mark couldn’t care less about what his future held. As long as you were in it, he’d be content. Even if it meant he worked in a grocery store bagging people’s items or being a tailor for elderly men. 

“I can’t give you an actual answer because I have no clue. I just want to work somewhere that I will be happy working for. What about you? Do you have an idea or have you brainstormed what you’re going to do once we graduate?” 

You contemplated his question for a couple of seconds. For some odd reason, you felt as if you shouldn’t tell him of your plans; you were afraid of his reaction once you were to admit you had every intention of leaving California knowing that Mark had every intention of living there for the rest of his life. California was your home; it was all you’ve known for the last eighteen years of your life. It was time for you to make new memories elsewhere. As much as you hated lying to him, it broke your heart even more watching his defeated facial expression when he heard something he wished he rather not have. 

“I don’t know. I just want a job I won’t stress over. A job that I will sincerely enjoy and not cry over because of how difficult the work is.” He hummed in agreement before sitting up and looking at you with an expression you’ve never seen him give you before. There was a certain glint in his eye—you couldn’t put your finger on it, but you did particularly enjoy the warm feeling his gaze caused to your chest. 

“I don’t care what my occupation ends up being, where I end up living, what kind of house I end up purchasing or the car I end up driving—all I care about are the people that are in my life and I know you are going to be one of them. Hell, you’re the only one that I need y/n.”

You didn’t know how you were able to stay away from California for so long. Four years was an extensive amount of time to have been away from the place you called home, but you were too busy living out the life you’ve only dreamt of when you were old enough to realize what dreaming was. Right after you graduated from high school, you wasted no time in packing your bags and traveling thousands of miles away to Europe. 

Out of all the places in the world to choose from, you decided to go with Europe specifically because of how beautiful the scenery and architecture were. Studying abroad had to be both the best and the worst decision you’ve ever made in your life. Sure, you were given the chance of a lifetime; being able to visit all these different countries at the prime age of only nineteen was something that most people could only fantasize about. But it was at the cost of losing your favorite person in the entire world. You haven’t seen or heard from Mark since the night that you left for Italy. 

Most of your friends were more than happy to hear of your plans. Mark on the other hand wasn’t too fond of the idea—at all. In fact, he was selfish. He begged you to stay and he told you he was willing to do whatever he had to in order to prevent you from leaving. You couldn’t blame him for the way he was acting—only a couple months before your high school graduation, both you and Mark agreed on taking your relationship further than the friendship you’ve shared for years. 

It wasn’t an overnight decision; your feelings for Mark only grew the longer you were friends with him for and when he asked you to be his girlfriend, it only confirmed that he felt the same way. If you thought that Mark already was an amazing friend, he was an even better boyfriend. He was already such a patient, kind-hearted and very generous person to everyone he knew. But you were the lucky person who got to see and experience how loving and tender Mark could be in a relationship. 

Before you; Mark was never one to date. Dating was not in his vocabulary. He wasn’t necessarily a fuckboy like you considered most of his friends to be. Every girl he would get involved with knew of his intentions. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to get in to a relationship. There were times that he would get lonely and crave the presence of someone other than his friends and family. He just didn’t care about the domestic part that came with having a girlfriend. 

Mark felt like he was still too young to worry about impressing someone, keeping in contact and constantly having to texting someone, changing himself to be someone his significant other would be proud of—all he wanted to focus on was living freely without a care in the world before life actually became all the more difficult. Once he realized that he was falling for you, he knew he was screwed—yet at the same time, it felt good because it was you. 

When he found himself missing you on the days he couldn’t see you or right after he would drop you home, when he’d find himself calling you up in the middle of the night because he wanted to hear your voice, when he began cancelling on outings with his friends in order to spend time with you, he knew he had found someone who meant more to him than life itself. He wanted to do better—be better for you. 

Falling in love with you had to be the easiest and honestly the best thing Mark has ever done. You’ve captivated his heart in ways that he never thought was possible for him to experience. Mark never felt like he was capable of loving someone nor receiving love from anyone other than his family. But when the two of you began dating, all he ever wanted to do was love you and be loved by you—and only you. 

Your relationship lasted for eight months and deep down in your heart, you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. You were willing to give up on your dreams in order to continue your relationship with Mark. There were many opportunities out there for you that didn’t require having to leave—and you were sure that you would one day be able to experience traveling the world; hopefully by that time, you’d be able to go with Mark. 

Everything you ever wanted to do, you wanted him right by your side when accomplishing it. Sure, there was so much more out there that the world had to offer, but there was only one Mark Tuan. Mark was the one to show you what love was. He taught you how to fall in love with yourself; he made you love the things you hated about yourself simply because he loved everything about you. You felt as if you were the most beautiful girl in the entire world because he looked at you and treated you as though you were the most ethereal goddess that he just so happened to have the honor in being able to call his. 

The two of you were still so young to really understand that being in love also meant making sacrifices for the people you truly cared about. As much as you hated the idea of being away from him, you wanted your cake and you wanted to eat it too. You were willing to keep a long distance relationship because you felt it with your entire being that Mark was your person and that he was the one you would settle down and start a family with. 

The two of you spent every single day of summer together. Some days, you would do something quite eventful. Mark was a daredevil and loved anything adventurous. Hiking, scuba diving, zip lining and even skydiving were only a few of the many activities you did together. On the days that you were too lazy to even get out of bed, you would stay in and watch movies together—sometimes it led to kissing—which usually led to you on your knees bringing Mark to heaven more than once in your love making session. 

You could only hope that he would have wanted to wait for you; but you were well aware that it was too much to ask for. He might have told you on a daily basis that he loved you with every beat of his pathetic heart, but sometimes love just wasn’t enough to keep someone in your life. The day that you left for Europe was the same day that he told you he couldn’t handle it. He claimed that you chose your dreams over him and that if it were him in your shoes, he would have chose you.

It hurt—hearing him talk so negatively about something you’ve wanted to do for longer than you could count on your hands made you feel so dejected. Mark of all people should’ve been the one to support you; to cheer you on in each and every one of your endeavors. It made you feel as though he didn’t love you as much as you thought he did. If he genuinely cared about you, he would’ve gave long distance a try. 

You knew you were going to miss him, and that you would be miserable not being able to have him around. But you would rather be in a relationship with him even if it meant being a world away from one another than to be with anyone else you’d get to see everyday. Your heart felt as if it could break right then and there knowing that he didn’t have the same mindset as you. Losing Mark was a pain that was so hard to bare. He was in your life—your daily routine for over four years. 

He made you laugh on the days that it didn’t even feel possible to omit any kind of emotion let alone a lively one. He held you and whispered sweet nothings in to your hair when you felt as if the entire world was against you. He kissed your cheeks as a distraction from your studies and held your hand as a way of comfort when you were in a crowded area. How were you supposed to live without the only person who gave you the will to live in the first place. 

Mark was the only person and honestly the only thing you could really look forward to when you’d wake up in the morning. He was all your heart knew and wanted to know. What were you supposed to do and how could you possible go on without him? 

“Babe—you’re dozing off again. Everything okay? I know it’s been a while since you’ve been back home, so let me know if you want to stop somewhere and take a small rest.” 

You looked at your boyfriend who was currently driving the two of you to a hotel near your parents house. Park Jinyoung was an angel; an actual prince. Not only was he painstakingly handsome, irritatingly intelligent and extremely polite, but he had such a big heart. It honestly irritated you how perfect he actually was. You and Jinyoung had just gotten engaged a little over two months ago and you didn’t think that anyone would have been able to fill the hole in your heart that Mark caused when he broke up with you all those years ago. You didn’t think you’d be able to love anyone the way you loved him; but then again—you considered the love you had for Mark to be immature and silly. 

The two of you were still teenagers at the time. You still had yet to really experience what love actually felt like—or at least that’s what you kept telling yourself in attempts to rid the thought of him from your mind completely. Sure, you loved Jinyoung more than you would ever be able to express to him; but there was still a tiny little part of you that missed Mark and wished that it was his ring on your finger. 

Even when you first met Jinyoung while in a cute little cafe in Paris while you both were studying abroad and began dating him not too long after meeting, you were still holding on to a thread of hope that Mark was going to welcome you back home with open arms once your time in Europe was over with. You’d find yourself looking at your phone every now and then, waiting for a text from him telling you that he made a mistake and that he wanted you back in his life. 

That he would be willing to continue your relationship and that everything would be okay between the two of you—but nothing ever came and you haven’t heard from him or seen him since you left. You gave up on him entirely and allowed Jinyoung to break down the walls that you’ve spent so much time building up after the break up. There were some days that you felt like Jinyoung deserved better; he deserved someone with less baggage and turmoil that came from your previous relationship. You didn’t feel the need to mention Mark, nor did you want him knowing that you were still harboring feelings for your ex-boyfriend, but it was only natural for you to do so. 

He was your friend before he was your boyfriend—honestly, you began regretting ever agreeing to be in a relationship with him. No matter how much you liked him before you dated, you would have rather stayed friends with him and at least have him in your life as just a friend than to not have him at all. You smiled softly to your boyfriend before placing your hand on his thigh and squeezing it gently. 

“I’m good—I just, I don’t know how I’m going to react when I see my friends from high school. Most of them I haven’t even talked to since graduation. Oh, I’m going to warn you, my family can be a little —much. They’re all going to be at the wedding, so I’m just preparing you for all the madness before you can get upset with me for not telling you sooner. BamBam and I have been friends for so many years and since we were always together, our families ended up growing close to one another also—so yeah. His family might even approach you also and I just want to apologize beforehand. You might just want to leave me after the festivities are over and I wouldn’t blame you.” 

His laughter that you’ve grown to adore in the last few months filled the entirety of the rent-a-car and you had a huge feeling that if you were to look at him right now, his eyes would be scrunched while crinkles would appear right under. You didn’t think that someone who was just a couple of months away from turning twenty-seven years old could possess such an adorable, high pitched giggle; but here he was, proving you wrong like he did with almost everything you had your doubts about. 

Jinyoung never gave you a reason to question your self-worth, nor did he ever do anything to make you insecure. You received at least one compliment almost every single day from him whether it was about your appearance or your personality. In the beginning of your relationship, it came as a surprise to you when you found yourself growing jealous whenever you caught girls ogling over him—but it was inevitable. Anyone with good eyesight could see how gorgeous your fiancé was. 

He stood out in a crowd not only because he was almost six feet tall, but because he had very unique and exotic features. His eyebrows were nicely shaped; he had a sharp jawline, well-defined cheekbones, a cute little button nose and his lips were very plump. You were also quick with observing how a lot of his classmates would look at you with either jealousy or disgust. 

Jinyoung had explained to you that before he applied to study abroad, he made a pact with himself that he would focus on his education and put his love life on hold until he graduated with his bachelor’s degree in criminology. For the first couple of months, he was doing quite well. Although he did see a few girls he believed were very pretty, none of them really caught his attention for more than a couple of seconds. 

When Jinyoung first approached you in the café, he had no idea you would mean as much to him as you did now. All he wanted to do was ask you about the book you were reading. R.L. Stine had to be one of his favorite authors, but when he saw your cheeks flush as he stood at the corner of your table, he couldn’t have given less of a shit about the novel you were holding in your hands. He wanted to learn more about you; what you were doing in France, if you were an avid reader, how you liked your coffee in the mornings and if you’ve seen any episodes of the office. 

The last time he’s ever felt his heart race over a girl was back in the seventh grade. He felt like something was wrong with him for not feeling the desire to chase after girls the way his friends used to, but he believed being single and putting his education first was worth it. Not only was he interning at one of the most prestigious law offices South Korea had to offer, but he was just months away from marrying the person he considered the love of his life. 

It didn’t take him too long to come to the conclusion that he was in love with you. He was actually embarrassed to admit just how quickly he found himself putting you and the four letter word in the same sentence together. However, if he could go back in time, he would’ve admitted what he felt to you sooner. 

“Don’t apologize baby—it’s understandable. They must all be excited to see you again, so it’s a given that they’ll be curious. Especially seeing as how you’re engaged. A couple of trivial questions aren’t going to drive me away. You’re going to be my wife in February, so there’s no getting rid of me now or at all for that matter. You’re stuck with me forever; so I’m going to put up with whatever you consider is embarrassing, crazy or unnecessary. I mean look—I’ve seen you through your stinky morning breath, your drunken stupors, the many times you’ve cried over school, that one time you broke out in hives because you didn’t know you were allergic to pollen and I still think you are the most exceptionally beautiful and indescribably wonderful human to walk this earth. Everything is going to be fine y/n and even if things don’t turn out the way you want them to, I’ll be right by your side to protect and keep you away from anyone or anything that could possibly make you uncomfortable.” 

His kind speech tugged on your heartstrings in the sweetest way. Jinyoung’s words never failed to make you smile. Sometimes you’d find yourself tearing up at how thoughtful he could be. You weren’t going to lie; of course you invited Jinyoung to tag along with you to BamBam’s wedding because you wanted all your friends and family to meet the man you were planning on spending the rest of your life with. However, that wasn’t the only reason. 

It was evident that Mark was going to be at the wedding whether you liked it or not. From what you’ve heard, he and BamBam were still very close friends and the last thing you needed was to see him with someone else while you were all by yourself. You hated the fact that you still thought about Mark every now and then. Not only did he break your heart and make you feel as if you weren’t worth waiting around for, but he made you feel as if your feelings, your dreams and your passions were invalid all because he was so in over his head and only cared about himself and his needs. 

What did it matter if he was in a relationship—or if he was just like you; moments away from marrying someone else. That’s life. You told yourself if you were to see him, you’d pretend like he didn’t exist but honestly, what good would that do? You were older now and you believed you were way passed your grudge against him. The man on your left, singing along to Post Malone off-key while tapping his hands on the wheel was the only person you cared about now. 

Since this was Jinyoung’s first time in California, you decided to keep your arrival a secret from everyone other than your parents. You didn’t want his first memory of being in the sunshine state to be of people pulling him here and there, asking him about his job, how the two of you met and what he did in his free time. You also wanted some alone time with him before everyone could get acquainted with him and possibly desire his full attention.

For the first couple of days, you and Jinyoung drove all around California; you brought him to the neighborhood you grew up in, showed him the schools you attended when you were younger, took him to Venice beach and the Santa Monica pier. You even surprised him with tickets to go to Disneyland. Honestly, it was nice taking a breather from the harsh reality that adulting brought both you and your soon-to-be husband. In those three days, you’ve gotten to witness how much of a child at heart Jinyoung is and how excited he would get at the littlest things. He pulled you everywhere around the park and you both ate almost all the cutely decorated treats they had to offer. 

On the day of BamBam’s wedding, you didn’t wake up until you had to start getting ready. You were on vacation; waking up at three in the afternoon was normal. Even more so because Jinyoung kept you up all night ramming himself inside of you at a deliciously rough and jack rabbit like pace. Your legs were practically jelly and you mentally cursed him for being a little too animalistic the night before. 

You didn’t think much of your outfit when you first purchased it; a simple maroon colored  strapless dress that showed off just the right amount of cleavage to leave little to the imagination yet still very classy that hugged your curves perfectly. Witnessing Jinyoung’s jaw drop as soon as he saw you with both your hair and makeup done made your heart flutter. He wasted no time in briskly walking over to you and bringing his hand up to grip at your hips. 

“You know—we could skip this entire thing and just send a gift to the lucky couple later. I kind of—I mean, I need to show you exactly what seeing you in that dress is doing to me. I’m sure you see my painfully hardened erection through these slacks. You look so fucking beautiful baby—you’ll probably give the bride a run for her money. How much time do we have left? Do you think I could at least eat you out—“

You playfully shoved him away from you and continued with the finishing touches on your hair. “Finish getting ready you horndog; that dress shirt isn’t going to iron itself. Chop chop babe, get moving. Stop that, I can see you undressing me with your eyes Park Jinyoung. If you are a good boy, I’ll let you take my dress off as soon as we arrive back here.” 

He released such a cute sigh; one that he always seemed to give you whenever he didn’t get his way but it was quickly replaced with a grin right after you promised him the latter. Your fiancé stole a chaste kiss from the corner of your mouth before making his way in to the bathroom to finish fixing his hair. As soon as the two of you were both done getting ready, you made your way over to the hotel BamBam was having his reception at. 

All of a sudden, your calm exterior was now distraught and worried beyond belief. Not even the comforting touch of Jinyoung’s hand wrapped around the back of your nape could sooth your nerves. There was a 95% chance you were going to see Mark tonight and you were afraid that something bad was going to happen. With a few deep breaths, you tried your best to think about anything but the possibility of tonight ending in ruins. 

It didn’t take too long for you and Jinyoung to find the hotel; there were at least fifteen different signs scattered around the area and you were sure BamBam set them up with every intention of gaining the attention of pedestrians, drivers and anyone passing by. The thought of how he never changed at all made you giggle softly. Your best friend was always an attention seeker and now that he was getting married, you knew he was going to use this night as an advantage to be the center of attention. 

There were hundreds of cars in the parking lot and you recognized a couple belonging to some of Bambam’s aunts, uncles and cousins. You saw a few of them leaving their cars and walking over towards the lobby. Tonight was supposed to be a happy night—but you felt like you were on the verge of throwing up. You were mentally preparing yourself to bump in to Mark. Although it’s been years since the breakup and you were completely over him, you didn’t know how you would react if he were to come up to you in the hopes of starting a conversation. After he parked the car, Jinyoung reached over the console and squeezed your thigh to get your attention. 

“Come on babe, the sooner we go in and join the party, the faster we can leave and I can take this dress off of you like you promised.” 

You playfully rolled your eyes and giggled at his all but innocent insinuation before getting out from your side of the car. Jinyoung was quick to take his place by your side; he grabbed your purse and immediately intertwined your hands together. Something about his presence was exceedingly calming. No matter what were to happen once you both walked in to the ballroom, you knew everything was going to be okay as long as your fiancé stayed by your side. When the two of you finally made your way inside and out towards the garden where the ceremony was being held, you saw that almost all the chairs were filled up. 

There were many familiar faces in the crowd; you smiled politely at BamBam’s siblings and smirked when you saw your mutual Jackson who was sitting next to who you were told was his girlfriend. You didn’t know how to explain exactly what you were feeling seeing that so much has changed in the last four years since you’ve been gone. 

Jackson and BamBam were the last two people on earth that you would have ever thought would settle down and start families. Back in high school, all they ever did was attend parties, get wasted and fool around with any girl that showed interest in them. Now; witnessing your best friend cry as his bride-to-be walked down the aisle towards him caused you to tear up a little yourself. Out of all your friends, BamBam was the only one to keep in touch with you for the last couple of years. 

You could still remember the day he called you up and told you that he was seeing someone; you were in complete and utter disbelief at the time and because you believed you knew BamBam like the back of your hand, you just assumed this was a phase until you’d listen to him talk about her the way Jinyoung would talk about you to his friends and his family. He was head over heels in love with her and you couldn’t have been more happier for him. 

The entire ceremony was beautiful; their vows were both so heartfelt and full of love and promise for their future ahead. Their sweet words and the way they looked at one another only heightened your excitement for your upcoming nuptials. Twenty minutes went by faster that you had thought it would and before you knew it, all the guests were being ushered in to the grand ballroom that was bigger than you could even have imagined. 

That was just the kind of person bambam was; go big or go home. You signed you and your fiancé in at the registration booth and released a sigh of relief when you were told you’d be sitting with your family. Immediately as you found your seats, your mom wasted no time pulling you and Jinyoung in for hugs; and whispering how beautiful you looked and how Jinyoung only became more and more handsome every time she saw him. 

A lot has changed since you left your small town to pursue your extraordinary dreams. You had seen them a couple of times in the last year during the holiday season or when they travelled up to see you during the summer time. Even if you were more than happy to finally experience marriage and what it would feel like to be Mrs.Park Jinyoung, you felt as if your mom was more excited than you were if it was even possible. Most mothers couldn’t wait for the day that their daughters get proposed to; especially to someone as attractive, hardworking and exuberantly outgoing like your soon-to-be husband.

You still had to get used to the idea that you were only months away from becoming a married woman. Watching BamBam and his wife look at each other as if they were the only two people there in the room made your heart flutter. You were glad BamBam found someone who would love him and take good care of him the way he never failed to do so with everyone in his life; the way he did with you for the entire duration of your friendship. 

Both you and Jinyoung were too busy having a conversation about what your plans for the rest of the week were going to be that you failed to notice the way everyone in your family turned their heads towards the entrance. Whenever you would talk with your fiancé, nobody else could grab your attention even if they tried. You were so in love with him; your world revolved around the handsome man gazing at you with the most adoring look in his eyes as you talked about driving to San Fransisco and visiting the Golden Gate Bridge. 

Just like the way BamBam looked at his wife, you were sure the way you and Jinyoung looked at one another mirrored your best friend’s tender stare. Honestly you would have continued pretending as if you and Jinyoung weren’t surrounded by all these people if it wasn’t for him adverting his gaze towards the direction everyone seemed to be looking in. 

Curiosity got the best of you and you decided to see what your family seemed to be so interested in. Once the couple came in to sight however, you wished you kept to yourself and ignored the way your mom’s look of disgust. 

Four years. 

It’s been four years since you last saw him. Four years since he told you he didn’t want to wait for you. Four years since he decided your relationship wasn’t worth fight for. It took almost an entire year for you to completely get over your relationship. Hell, it’s been four years yet you were still wondering how he was doing. What he looked like, whether or not he was in a relationship, what career he decided to pursue—if he ever regretted giving up on you so easily—if he missed you the way you missed him. 

You’d be lying if you said you haven’t thought about him at least once in the last couple of weeks. Honestly, you thought about him every single day and it made you feel guilty because you were engaged. You had someone else; someone who loved you more than life itself. Someone who gave you the world on a silver platter and made you feel like the only girl in the entire world. What you and Mark had was an experimental relationship; puppy love. 

At the time, you thought it was the best thing that had ever happened to you—that he was the most amazing and wonderful human being in the entire world. Then he broke your heart in to a million pieces and left your world crumbling down, as if it was the easiest thing to do. He never once considered your feelings; only thought about his needs, his desires, his dreams—what he wanted. 

Mark was an immature and selfish person; he had yet to learn that love and relationships were a two person job. Relationships are between two people; if he really loved you the way you knew with your heart that you loved him, he would have fought for you and let you do your thing knowing that you’d come back to him. This was it—you knew it was going to happen sooner or later tonight, but you weren’t as ready as you probably thought you would have been. Your stomach sank at the sight of him. 

Time always seemed to be in his favor; if you thought he was exceedingly handsome back in high school, he was an even bigger sight for sore eyes now at the prime age of twenty-four. His features only grew more prominent; his lips that you used to love kissing so much were plumper—more fuller. His chubby cheeks that you’d find yourself unable to stop pinching out of habit no longer existed. His hair was longer; back in high school he cut it at least once a month because he never wanted it to pass his ears, but now it was almost down to the back of his neck. He might have been wearing a suit, but you could tell he has been working out by the way his suit was like a second skin; the outline of his biceps were prominent and it made your head spin. 

As much as you felt like you could continue staring at him and analyzing how much he’s changed in the last four years, your eyes just so happened to land on the body next to him. Whoever the woman was to him—she was beautiful. There was no doubt about it. She had a petite frame; he hovered over her almost by a foot, but their height difference was actually kind of cute. She also had long, wavy hair and a glow that you felt was the cause of the bump she was sporting. It didn’t take a genius to know that she was pregnant; her maternity dress alone gave it away. 

She had to be at least four or five months pregnant and for some reason, it felt like a stab to your chest—but why did it matter? Mark was no longer the man who owned your heart nor was he the one who deserved it. Maybe it was the teenager in you—the one who was madly in love with Mark that was upset to see someone else living out the life that you should have been. Most people would still consider eighteen “too young” to actually understand what love is and to plan out their futures; but even then, when you would look at Mark, you knew he was the one you wanted to be the father of your children. 

Every time you would hang out or sleep over at his house, you witnessed the way he interacted with his three nieces. Those little girls meant the world to him. He never failed to give them his full attention and did whatever it was that they asked of him without complaining. He always talked about having a big family one day and you knew how much he loved kids. You knew why your mom was so upset; she had to hear you cry every single day for four months straight over your breakup. 

She saw how much pain you had to suffer through once Mark let you go. You obviously weren’t the same person you were all those years ago; heartbreak did that to people. Although she actually really liked Mark and approved of your relationship back then, she no longer had anything nice to say about him. Poor Jinyoung looked so confused; in the three years that you’ve been together for, not once have you ever told him about Mark. It didn’t seem necessary because he was no longer involved in your life anyway and he was in the past. If you continued to bring him up, it would just show that you still cared about him and even if you did, you didn’t want anyone else to know that. 

Especially not your fiancé. But you knew he was going to ask you about it; the man who had your entire table’s attention had to be someone important. A huge part of you wanted to come up with an excuse to leave; it didn’t matter that he and his significant other were seated at a table on the complete opposite side of the room, knowing he was there, that he was in a relationship and that he was months away from being a father made you physically sick. You were now feeling so dizzy and you hated that even after all these years and all the pain and distress he put you through, his presence still had a huge effect on you. 

“Hey, I’ll be right back.” 

Your fiancé looked up at you in curiosity and began to stand up himself out of worry, but you gave him a reassuring smile and motioned for him to stay put. If Jinyoung was anything, it was observant. He had a feeling that you must’ve have known Mark and he couldn’t stop the voice in his head from taunting him with the idea that maybe Mark was an ex of some sorts. He wanted to believe that you wouldn’t keep such an important detail of your life like that from him; your relationship was full of trust and all he really wanted from you was honesty and loyalty. 

However, he didn’t want to force you in to telling him something you didn’t want to. If you didn’t tell him about your past relationships, it was for a reason and as he watched your facial expression; your now furrowed brows and pursed lips, he was well aware that Mark was obviously the reason. 

“I just have to use the bathroom, I’ll be quick.” You placed a chaste peck on his lips and hoped that he wasn’t watching you walk in the opposite way of the bathroom. You needed a breather—it was too much for your mind to process and honestly for you to take in. This might have been BamBam’s big night, but you were now growing angry with him. 

He had to know; even if Mark didn’t straight out tell him that he was seeing someone else let alone about to be a father, you were sure it had to be on social media somewhere. As your best friend, he should have been upfront and said something. Even if BamBam didn’t want to hurt you with the news, you would’ve felt better knowing months before hand. But maybe he felt like if you knew, you wouldn’t have came to the wedding. You were minutes away from telling Jinyoung that it was time to go. 

There was no way you would even be able to pretend that you were fine. The chilly breeze was quick to poke at your skin as soon as you made your way outside. California was always freezing in the nighttime when winter was approaching. You wouldn’t have been surprised to hear that it was only 40 degrees out—but you were too frustrated to even care that you could get hypothermia. Why didn’t you think about taking Jinyoung’s blazer? 

One thing you missed about California since you’ve been gone was the sky; it was always so pretty at night. You could see so many stars fill up the entirety of it and it was never too dark which you enjoyed. The longer you continued to breathe in and out while looking up at the moon, you could slowly feel yourself relaxing. Unfortunately, your little moment alone was soon interrupted by the last person you wanted to see at all tonight. 

“Hey. I thought I saw you come out here.” 

You could feel yourself choking up at the sound of his voice; it was much deeper than what it was back in high school. Chills were sent down your spine and it wasn’t because of the freezing weather. God, you missed his voice. Mark had such a calming and soothing voice; you would listen to him talk for hours on end if you could. Sometimes, you would have him read books to you specifically because you wanted to hear him talk. Right now though, you wanted him to leave. 

Being around him was suffocating. You allowed yourself a few seconds to prepare yourself for when you were to actually face him; if seeing him from far away was already driving you to the brink of insanity, what more when he was in close proximity of you? Once you finally turned around, you could feel your heart rate increase. From afar, he already looked so breathtaking, but looking at him just two feet away made you appreciate his dark, and gorgeous features. You contemplated on bolting away and you didn’t care if it was rude. This man showed you what love was only to take it away from you before you could actually appreciate it for what it was. You were sure you hated him; but seeing him right now—you weren’t as confident with your hatred. 

“Yeah. It was getting a little too crowded in there. I just—wanted to be alone.” Hopefully he took the hint and left you to it; but Mark—as much as he was smart wasn’t all that bright. Whenever you asked him to do one thing, he would manage to do the complete opposite; this situation was no different. 

“How have you been? You look very beautiful tonight—I mean, you are always so beautiful, but—tonight I just—wow.” 

Was he being serious right now? Why did he think after all these years of not talking to each other and pretending one another didn’t exist that he should have started your first conversation with complementing you? He had to have drank at least a couple of drinks; he was out of his mind. 

“Thanks—you don’t look too bad yourself. I’ve been good. Thank you for asking.” Your interaction with him was the definition of awkward. The tension in the air was so thick, you could cut it with a knife and you wanted it to end before questions or even confessions were brought up. 

“So uh—I actually saw you on the dance floor earlier—um—is that your boyfriend?” 

You wanted to laugh out of hysteria. Was he really your best friend for almost four years and your boyfriend for almost one? His face was one that would be instilled in the back of your mind forever, yet you felt like you were looking at a stranger. Why did he feel like it was the right thing to come out here and talk to you? You didn’t plan on having any interaction with him at all tonight, so why did he ruin your plans of avoiding him? 

“He’s my fiancé.” 

The silence that came right after your confession was unexpected. Why did it matter who Jinyoung was to you? Sure, you wanted to know what the woman was to Mark when you first saw them walk in together, but you no longer cared. He moved on and so did you. You were going to leave it at that. You didn’t fail to notice the way his jaw clenched and so did his fists—however, you didn’t understand why. It’s been at least ten minutes since you left the table; so you could only hope Jinyoung would come looking for you soon and take you away from this mess. 

“Congratulations—you look very happy—I hope he knows how lucky he is to have you.”

“He does. I am. Very happy. He’s an amazing fiancé. Thank you. What about you? I saw your—wife? Girlfriend? Congratulations on the pregnancy.” 

It felt like venom on your tongue; congratulating him on something you weren’t too thrilled about—but you didn’t have the right to be jealous. You both lived separate lives with two different lovers. It was evident the two of you were no longer the two crazy high schoolers that thought the world was theirs for the taking. You were both grown adults now on two different paths. What he did and the decisions he made no longer concerned you. 

“Thanks. She’s uh—my—girlfriend.” 

The last word seemed forced, as if he didn’t want you to know who she was or what he labeled their relationship. What did he have to hide though? She was practically a basketball and he came to the wedding with her in tow. Who else could she be if not his partner? You wouldn’t bring a random pregnant lady with you to your friend’s wedding if she didn’t mean something to you. With the tiniest bit of confidence building up in your veins, you spoke up with every intention on returning back to the party.

“Look, it was nice seeing you again—but I really should get going—“

“Please don’t marry him.” 

Your eyes widened in shock at his words. There was no way he was just drunk—he had to be high on some kind of illegal drug. Was he honestly being serious right now? Did you hear correctly, or was being around him making you imagine things. What the hell was wrong with him? 

“Mark what the fuck—“

“I made a mistake. A fucking huge and extremely stupid mistake and I’ve never regretted anything more in my life than when I ended our relationship. I’m so fucking sorry y/n. I was stupid and immature then—I shouldn’t have broken up with you. I should have tried harder for you. I should have actually thought about what would happen if I were to lose you. If only I knew how lucky I was back then to have you—I wouldn’t be seconds away from socking your fiancé in the face, but this is all my fault. That should be my ring on your finger y/n. This should’ve been our fucking wedding damnit. I didn’t realize just how much I loved you and how much I missed you until you were no longer mine to care about. I never told you this and fuck—if only I wasn’t so stubborn and so selfish, but you were the best thing that ever happened to me. I haven’t been happy in the last four years and it’s because my heart is so empty. I wanted to call you; to beg you to forgive me—to tell you that not a day went by that I didn’t think of you or wished that things went differently, but I didn’t think I had the ability nor the right to—“

“Oh and you do now? Honestly Mark, what the fuck is wrong with you? I’m engaged to be married in a few months and you’re about to be a father. What made you think that confessing something like that was appropriate huh? That’s disrespectful to your girlfriend, to my fiancé and damnit—to me! Especially me! You don’t realize how much seeing you is fucking ruining me right now do you?! I didn’t want to care; I wanted to pretend that seeing your girlfriend pregnant doesn’t bother me but it does and I hate that it does. You ruined my life Mark. You broke my fucking heart because you were such a pathetic and immature boy. You don’t know what you’re saying. What we had—it wasn’t significant at all. We were kids! We had no idea what love was but now I do know and it’s because of the man sitting inside with my family. I love Park Jinyoung and he loves me—in the ways you never could. What we had is in the past. It’s never going to happen ever again Mark. I don’t know what kind of response you expected from me—but this is it. What? Did you think I was going to fall for that pathetic and poor excuse of an apology? I’m not the same girl I was when I first met you. Our break up made me realize my self-worth; I used to think I wasn’t enough for you to want to fight for me. To want to stay and live out our lives together. It took countless nights crying over you and drinking multiple bottles of wine to get rid of any thought of Mark Tuan to get me to come to the conclusion that it was you who didn’t deserve me. Jinyoung saved my life—he saved me from the monster you created after dropping me like I was nothing. I’m done—I have nothing left to say to you. If we didn’t have to come here tonight, I probably would have never heard from you anyway so you should have let it stay that way.” 

There had to be tears falling down your cheeks; your face was hot and you could feel your chest heaving out of frustration. For years, those words of anger have been building up and it felt like a ton of weight was finally lifted off of your shoulders. You said what you wanted to and you were sure there was more he wanted to admit, but you weren’t going to take any more of it. 

“There you are. I thought I saw you come out here, I’ve been looking for you everywhere baby—BamBam is looking for you. Babe? Y/n, everything alright? Why are you crying? Oh—Hi. I’m Jinyoung, y/n’s fiancé.” 

Although you didn’t want Jinyoung having to see you breaking down, especially while with another man; one you were sure he knew who he was to you, you were glad he was there. It was weird watching your fiancé reach his hand out for Mark to shake. Even if Jinyoung now knew that Mark was your ex and that he was the reason you were so upset, he was never the type to be rude or disrespectful towards someone he just met. 

Mark however, continued standing there and ignored his polite gesture like a jerk. Thankfully, Jinyoung took no offense and just retracted his hand before intertwining it with yours. “We should start returning back to our table y/n—It was nice meeting you.” You allowed your fiancé to pull you away and you didn’t even spare Mark a glance; you were too eager to get away from him before you could ruin your makeup and your night even more so. 

“You don’t have to tell me anything baby, just—do you think you’re going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? Did you want to leave? We don’t have to go back to the hotel just yet. If you want to just drive around or go pick up some junk food, we can do that. I just really hate seeing you cry—unless it’s cries of pleasure—there we go. I knew I could get a smile out of you. I’ll do whatever it is that you want to do my love. Just say the word.”

“I love you Park Jinyoung. I don’t tell you as much as I should, but I do. So fucking much.” He gave you a cheeky grin and placed s gentle kiss on your nose. 

“I love you too y/n and I plan on loving you for the rest of my life. As much as I want to continue celebrating the newlyweds, let’s get you out of here.”

You've been busy That's okay I still can't wait to be Home for the summer We won't have to work so we're gonna Do whatever the hell we wanna 'Cause we know that one day we'll be Gone from each other We'll have lives in two different suburbs We'll have families with different lovers But for now, I know I'll see you when we're Home for the summer

[miah-pooh]

Open Part 1

A/n: Hey Guys, this is a new series I started, at the moment I will be Updating the story everyday till I'm done with this series I know in the ‘Open Series Masterlist it says it has three Chapters but the is more to it. But enjoy Part 2 Will be up tomorrow at 11:30 am Eastern time

Warning: Language, Sexual tension(maybe?)

Word Count: 2.4k 

Chapter 1

After graduating from UA High School and being one of the top students  in your class you were offered a position as a sidekick to the number one hero in America. Once you were sure you were leaving you met with the girls from class to tell them and of course it was water works involved. But they end up helping you pack things and say your last goodbyes to them. It’s been seven years since you left Japan, and three years since you were titled the ‘Youngest Pro Hero’ in America. You were currently in a meeting with your PR manager and assistance going over things, she was talking but you were zoned out not paying attention to what she was saying till you heard the name Deku. You sat up in your seat “wait what was that about Deku again?” “ He emailed you about helping him in an investigation that they're having trouble with, he was wondering if you could fly back to Japan this weekend to go over everything, it seemed like something really big he didn't give any information about what it was about. Saying he would give you the files as soon as you agree to help with.” “ Tell him I’m in and clear everything on my schedule for today so i have time to get ready for my flight and get me the first flight to Japan tomorrow morning, A get me a hotel for two weeks. Text me all the information when you're done” you say as walking out of the office, your PR manager and assistance were staring at each other with a confused look on their face. You were walking to your car thinking about all the possible things that could be so important to call you for help. ‘ Maybe the League of Villains is back or All for one is back, planning something.’ You arrived home and started packing all your necessary things and putting them in your suitcase, you packed your two hero suits and a couple of clothes to last you two weeks for the time being. Once you were done packing your suitcases you moved all three bags to your front door.  Ding You picked up your phone seeing your assistance sending all the information for you flight and the hotel Camie - Flight will be leaving at 5:50 am and I emailed Mr.Deku back saying you'll be there as soon as it's  around 7 or 8 in their time zone. He emailed you back saying he will have someone there to escort you to different places. Is there anything else I need to do? Y/n- Yes can you have a car ready to pick me up to drop me off to the airport, and you have the rest of the week off till i get back. Be safe and text me if you need anything Camie - Done and Thank you but me and Erika were kind of worried when you walked off during our meeting, are you sure everything is okay Y/N? Y/n - Yes im fine it’s just been so long since i been back home but that all it is thank you for checking on me though. It was the next morning and you were getting ready for your flight, you put on some black tights with a red hood that had your hero logo on it and some black and red shoes. You pack a carry bag to keep with you and throw some extra clothes in there if you don't have time to change if anything was to happen. You got a text from your driver's assistant telling you he was outside, you grabbed your purse and carry bag while he put your luggage in the trunk of the truck. On the way to the airport it was quiet and you were on your phone checking the news and somehow the news got out about you heading to Japan. ‘The media is always on my ass and in my business.’ you thought.You finally arrived at the airport and it was 5:38, you put on your hood and some sunglasses so you wouldn't be noticed. You were walking to your private room, you were stationed to stay till it was time to go, you got a couple stares and a couple of fans losing their minds about running into the Number one pro hero but other than that it was pretty smooth. You rested a while in the private room till your flight was announced about to leave, you boarded the plane and went straight to your seat and got comfortable for the 14 hour flight to Japan. You finally arrived in Japan. You made your way off the plane to the front of the airport to wait for your ride but were greeted by many fans and paparazzi that heard you would be coming to Japan. You instantly put on your sunglasses and hood to have a little privacy. “You must be Y/H/N? I'm Deku's assistant Murai. It's a pleasure to have you back here. I’m here to pick you up.” “Yes and it's a pleasure to meet you too but please call me Y/N. '' Murai nodded his head “let me get your luggage for you” he grabbed your luggage and put them in the truck while you made your way inside the truck. When you made it to the hotel you packed all your stuff and took out your hero suit for tomorrow, you pulled your computer out and emailed Deku letting him know you made it in town and you would be staying in your room for the rest of the night. You were exhausted from the time difference and decided to rest till tomorrow . The sun was shining brightly through the white curtains lighting up the room. You rolled out of bed and went to take a shower and got ready for the day, while brushing your teeth you checked your email and were instructed to wear your hero suit and meet at the current number one Hero agency which was Deku. Going through your suitcase to see which hero suit you would wear today, out of the three you pick the black leather jumpsuit with red claw markings in certain places. You made your way down stairs to the lobby and met Murai to take you to Deku’s agency. Once you made it to the agency you were greeted by Deku himself. “Y/H/N it’s so nice to see you again. How have you been?” “I've been good, how are you, number one hero of Japan?” Deku blushed and started walking inside the building with you by his side following him. “I’m good, how is it being the number one hero?” “It’s a lot but I still manage it. What about you?” “It’s fine, stressful but what else to expect when you have millions of people depending on you.” You nod your head in response to deku  “ I understand that, how's everyone else? I haven't seen them in forever?” “Maybe you could ask them yourself” he says smiling as he opens a room door with all your old classmates. Everyone turns around all eyes on you. All the girls run up hugging you at once while squealing in excitement while the boys look around confused as to who was here. Of course Bakugou wasn’t interested in it till Deku walked past the group of girls telling the rest of his old classmates “It’s Y/N, she backs.” Bakugou's eyes instantly got bigger as he heard your name come from Deku’s mouth. After you left unexpectedly Bakugou was heartbroken but Bakugou would never admit that outloud. Kirishimi  screamed “You have the number one hero of America here in Japan?!!”. “Y/N it's been so long since we saw you.” Momo says “How do you leave high school hot and come back hotter than before” Mina says while circling you to get a good look at you. You giggled at her comment “How is America and how does it feel to be number one?” Uraraka says. Everything was going so good, you were talking to your friends you left and haven’t seen in seven years and they still remember you after all these years.” Y'all idiots done aweing over the number one hero of America?” Bakugou says while getting up walking out the room, everyone once again had a confused look on their face including you. Back in highschool you and Bakugou were inseparable, after the first encounter with Bakugou, It was another day in school  and you were training when Aizawa paired you up with Bakugou and he completely lost his shit “You expected me to train with some dumbass that not a challenging me.” Aizawa simply ignored Bakugou outburst cause at this point he was used to it and he knew what you were capable of. “You done bitching about me not being a challenge because i can show ” you say while walking to the field, Bakugou walked towards you with a large grin on his face towering over you “You wanna say that again to my face you little shit” His breathed hit your face sending a shiver down your spine “I said are you done BITCHING about me not being a challenge because I can show you better than I can tell it” You say with a grin on  your face. Before Bakugou could respond Aizawa said “take it out in your training and whoever gets the other down first wins”  The class had to stop training to see Bakugou and you fight. You walked to the other end of the field stretching and getting into your fighting stance, Bakugou did the same, “Start” Bakugou ran up to you throwing a right hook which you easily dodged and returned to him that put a little distant in between the two of you, it took Bakugou off guard at first but he that didn't stop him. He used his blast to him towards you screaming “DIE” it was impossible to dodge that so you took the hit and was pushed back to the end of the field. You got back up running towards Bakugou throwing hits left and right, you had the upper hand in the battle till Bakugou used his left leg to kick you but you grab his leg and twist it causing him to fall and hit the ground, he got back up grabbing your arm that still had a hold on his leg and twisting it behind you back cause you to wince at the pain in your arm you quickly kicked his right leg cause him to loss balance and fall over but with you, his grip on your arm was loose enough to yank your arm from his grip and to grab his arm and pin him to the ground with your knee on his head while your right hand had his right arm in the air “ Tap out Bakugou” was all you said “tch . Aizawa called out to the both of you announcing “Y/N wins” walking off back to the building. You got off Bakugou and started walking to the changing room. As Bakugou got up and watched you walk off he couldn’t help but notice how you always bite back at anyone that tried to down talk you including him and from that day Bakugou knew you were different from the rest and he had respect for you. Deku started to talk saying “ We should head to the conference room now” Everyone made their way to the conference room to discuss what you came here for in the first place. Deku had a seat for you to the right of him while he presented to everyone what they were here for. “You all are probably wondering why I called you all here in regards to the current investigation about the  missing civilians that mysterious returns with their quirks either completely wiped from their DNA or on the verge of losing their quirks. I asked Y/N to help us with this investigation because back in American she had to deal with a similar problem like this and I feel like we needed her help with this.” “You damn Deku, you think we couldn’t handle the damn situation on our own without Miss America's help.” Bakugou says. Todoroki spoke “Bakugou were on a limited time and need this to come to an end before this leads to something bigger than it already is.” “Tch” was all he said Midoriya passed out a manila folder to everyone he had assigned everyone a specific area to patrol and unlucky you were paired with Bakugou. He went over everything that happened since the beginning of the Investigation. Throughout the whole meeting you felt someone's eyes burning holes in you while you tried to pay attention to the information, after the meeting was through everyone made their way out the conference room and went about their business. Before you could even process what you were doing you stopped Bakugou in the hallway, he turned around “Tch what the hell you want Miss America?” “ I want to know why you are acting like that.” “ Why does it matter to you anyways” he snapped as you stood there in shock and decided to bite back “Cause I care about you dumbass” “Apparently you don't if you didn't let me know you were leaving Japan to be a Pro hero in America.” “is that why you’re acting like this” “and if i'm and what are you going to do about it? Huh?” he said while walking off. You were heated from the small argument that just happened between you and Bakugou. During patrol with Bakugou you didn't speak to one another at all. It was an awkward energy between y’all till he spoke again “ Why didn’t you tell me?” you looked at him and figured he was talking about you leaving “ Figured you didn’t care cause we had just graduated and was on our own” Bakugou stayed silent at your response “tch, your right about one thing, but you could've still told me, left and became the ‘youngest number one hero’ and come back like nothing changed and expected me to be all buddy buddy with you.” You continued to walk and ponder what he just said. You had no response so you shrugged your shoulders.

Part 2

[embcldens]

。· . ˙ ☀ ⌈ addison rae + cis female + she/her ⌋ yo , have you meet that POGUE , finley bauer , yet ? — no ? well , to give you a little heads up before you do , they’re a TWENTY year old , ZOOLOGY COLLEGE STUDENT & N.E.S.T VOLUNTEER , and have been living in coston for EIGHT YEARS . since i’ve known them , they’ve reminded me of FRECKLES DUSTED ACROSS THE BRIDGE OF YOUR SUNKISSED NOSE , TOUSLED SEA SALT HAIR , A BRIGHT SMILE ETCHED ACROSS YOUR LIPS THAT COULD GIVE THE SUN A RUN FOR ITS MONEY , BEFRIENDING EVERY ANIMAL YOU COME ACROSS , NIGHTS SPENT UNDERNEATH THE CLEAR STAR FILLED SKY & THE SUNS WARMTH AGAINST YOUR SKIN . usually they’re quite EFFLUGENT & DRIVEN but just make sure you keep an eye out for them around town because i heard can be quite CRITICAL & FERVID as well so here’s hoping they aren’t the ones to undo this whole peace pact they have going on this summer . but just between you & me , i kinda hope it all falls apart . the rivalry keeps this whole boring town interesting .

hello , hello , hello !! i’m bronny ( the admin ) , i’m 23 , i’m from new zealand & to say that i’m excited about opening this place back up again & being able to write my lil sunshine girl finley again would be an UNDERSTATMENT !!!  i won’t ramble on about me though bc this intro turned out far longer than i meant it to ( is anyone surprise ? no ... just like finley i too ramble on forever for 0 reason ) so without further ado ... here is finley raegan bauer !!

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BACKGROUND

from the moment finley bauer was born , animals have been at the epicentre of her life . you see , finley bauer was born on march 25th 2000 in durban , south africa to charlotte and ragnar bauer . both of who have dedicated their lives to researching , rehabilitating & preserving the wildlife of africa . charlotte bauer worked for a rehabilitation centre for turtles & ragnar bauer worked as a ranger in kruger national park . so it was no surprise that finley followed in both of their footsteps when it came to their love of animals . animals to finley , no matter how big or small , were ( and still are ) the most special and precious creatures in the world and should be looked after no matter what . it was the first thing she ever really understood and the first thing her parents taught her .

throughout her childhood , finley lived a life many may have envied for one reason or another . for the most part , she had lived with her mother in st lucia where she spent the majority of her free time with her mother at the turtle sanctuary she worked at learning and helping in any way she could . but once the school holidays rolled around … finley traveled the 5 hour journey up to kruger national park to spend the weeks with her father . those , if she was being honest , were her favourite moments of all time . she was only quite young but her father allowed her to not only go on tour after tour with him but she was even allowed to witness some of the most heart warming scenes of the rehabilitation of many animals that had been injured by poachers . it was moments like that , that really cemented in her from an early age about what she wanted to do in life . all she wanted was to be able to help animals in the way her parents did and there was nothing that was going to stop her and becoming a wildlife vet was exactly how she was going to do it .

but at the age of twelve , finley’s life was moved half way across the world due to her mother getting a new job — one in her home town of coston , north carolina . if finley had it her way , she would have stayed with her dad . moving from sous africa , her home , was the last thing she wanted to do but both her parents agreed that kruger national park wasn’t the best place to raise a child so finley swapped her life in south africa for one in coston , north carolina in the united states .

it was an adjustment to say the least . moving to a new town was hard enough to begin with but throw in a small town where everybody knows everybody & a slightly odd pre-teen with a different accent and it makes it even harder . but finley tried to make the best out of a not so great situation , after all if there was one thing that finley bauer was it was adaptable . her parents always thought she was one of the most laidback energetic kids they’d ever known . she had that seemed to last for hours on end and was open to just about anything in the world — something of which they said was a blessing and a curse because adaptable may be something finley is but trouble would have to be the word that describes her perfectly . no matter what , trouble seemed to find her and she seemed to find trouble . which may have been one reason why it wasn’t all that long before finley fell in step with the pogues like she’d been there from the beginning . south africa may always be home to finley but coston quickly became one of her favourite places in the world once she started to settle in .

not much changed throughout her teen years . she was still getting up to mischief , still exploring the world around her and most importantly , still working towards becoming a wildlife vet . not once did the promise she made to her father when she was only 6 years old waiver . it was just about the only thing she took deadly serious in her life . between studying and signing herself up for beach cleans , volunteering for N.E.S.T every year when it came to laying and hatching season , advocating for not only animal rights but human rights as well , it was any wonder that she did find time to be dragged into pogue shenanigans . but somehow she did because the pogues quickly became like a second family to her . she would do anything for any one of them .

which was why once college came around finley found it so hard to leave . she’d thought leaving south africa was hard , but leaving coston and the pogues behind for college ? she had never remembered crying so hard . all she could do was remind herself that this was what she wanted . she wanted to go to college . she wanted to study zoology so she could get into veterinary school . because without it , her dream of helping save wildlife would never come true . plus , it wasn’t like she’d never see them again . she’d only applied for a college on the main land that had an outstanding reputation in science fields , which meant her friends and mum were only a ferry ride away from her if she ever got homesick . it was almost like she’d never left .

PERSONALITY & EXTRAS

a pogue but could also cross over into kook territory if she REALLY wanted to , but this just in : she doesn’t want to . she , her mum and her mum’s boyfriend who’s been living with them for the past 6 years all live on the outskirts of town in a nice little comfortable 2 story home . the bauer family is nowhere near struggling but they’re nowhere near able to live in figure 8 .

a literal ball of energy . has a hard time keeping still . you’ll catch her leg bouncing if she sits for longer than 5 minutes but it’s fine !! give her a little prod and she’ll give you a lil sheepish smile before quitting it …… until about 3 seconds later

v bubbly v friendly . will talk to just about anyone if they don’t give off dodgy vibes . basically just a lil ray of sunshine .

one of the most laidback people you’ll meet . planning isn’t really her thing , she’s a go with the flow kinda gal !! has been caught saying , it’ll be right far too many times in her life even when things have in fact not been right in the end .

will give just about anything a go . believes that an oops is better than a what if . which is exactly why she’s gotten in trouble more times than anyone can count .

loyal to a fault !! will have the back of anyone she loves till she dies . once you have finley on your side , there’s no getting rid of her . she’d kill for the people she loved .

i say she’d kill for the people she loved …. but she really is more on the pacifistic side of things . but at the end of the day , she would fight someone if that was the only thing left to do . she’s kind up to a point . she’s friendly up to a point . she’s helpful up to a point . she’s no doormat that people can walk over .

not that one may ever think that finley bauer was a doormat . because she ? she can be loud ! she can make her opinion heard ! if she doesn’t like something , she’ll say it outright . she can have a real mouth on her .

you’d think she’d be vegan but …. no . the only thing she doesn’t eat is red meat but everything else ? she calls it her personal downfall . but she does try to keep her meat intake down to a minimum . she just has a weakness for seafood okay , no one is more sorry than her . she’ll only eat it if it’s sustainably sourced though so that’s 1 thing

wears a necklace 24/7 that has an elephant pendant that she got from her father for her 10th birthday .

has a big cats paw print ribcage tattoo on her left side ( this position but ... a paw print )

judges people on how they treat animals and how animals react to them . she will immediately distrust you if you don’t like animals .

has an australian shepherd called rafi aka rafiki  ( originally was named scout but she wasn’t having that ) when he was only 2 and she 15

wants to eventually specialise in big cats ( lions , cheetahs , etc. ) or elephants but she has MANY years to figure that out

will watch every nature / wildlife documentary in the world even though she knows they’ll make her cry like a little baby 

is fluent in afrikaans but since limited people in the world actually speak it she .... only sometimes speaks it with her family  

has a south african accent ( example )

CONNECTIONS

to keep this from being any longer , you can find my wanted connections page here & my wanted connections tag here !!

alrighty , that’s it !! if you made it all the way through that ... you’re a real one bc PHEW it got long . i cannot wait to get to plotting with you all so pls , if anything catches your eye and you wanna plot ? just hit that lil heart & i’ll come crawling otherwise just slide on into my dms on here or on discord ( which i kind prefer if we’re being honest here ) !!

[xserpentlife]

Your What!

Requested: @cokecola4211 Riverdale imagine being Fangs younger sister not by much and the reader is secretly dating Reggie and Jughead finds out and they talk about it and Reggie been good to her and stuff and really likes her.

A/N: Hope you like this, thank you as always to my beta @wayard-river

Warnings: Yelling, Cursing, nothing else

Summary: What happens when jughead finds out that you are dating on of your brothers and his worst enemies.

Word Count: 2805

Y/N POV

You and Reggie were currently at a restaurant called Nathans right outside of Riverdale. You both would much prefer Pop’s but since it was the afternoon that wasn’t really an option considering you both didn’t want to be seen.

“How’s the food?”

“It’s good Reg, thank you”

“Remember how long it took for you to let me take you out for the first time”

“Yeah haha I do, I gave you so much shit”

*Flashback*

“Y/N Please”

“Reggie leave me the fuck alone”

“Just let me take you out, one date that is all I ask, please”

“Fine Mantle but make it count” You had known Reggie for a little while, ever since the Serpents moved to the northside he always tried talking to you. You became friends with him, but that was all nothing more. You stayed away from him, for the most part, afraid that Fangs would catch on and try to hurt him. He was very protective of you along with most of the Serpents. But after Reggie tried so hard over and over again you figured you would at least give him the chance. So he picked you up from your trailer after Fangs went out to a job.

“Hey Y/N”

“Hey Reggie, thanks for the ride” 

“I mean I invited you on the date figured I might as well drive you” You arrived in a field after driving for a little while.

“Are you gonna try and kill me Mantle”

“Y/N you would probably kill me first I’ve seen you fight”

“True, but if you aren't killing me why are we here?”

“Our date, come on” He motioned for you to take his hand and you did. You walked into the field to see fairy lights and a hammock. It was beautiful, something you never thought could come from Reggie.

“Reg this is… wow”

“Do you like it?”

“I love it, it's incredible. I can’t believe you thought of something like this”

“Well, you always said you loved seeing the stars. I figured a perfect first date would be us just chatting and being able to look up at them. I also brought Pops. Sorry, it’s not extravagant…” You couldn’t fathom how he remembered the few times you mentioned the stars.

“Reg, stop it’s perfect I don’t need extravagant honestly if you had done something like that I probably wouldn't have liked it as much as I like this”. You sat with him eating Pops before eventually getting up and laying in his arms in the hammock. He started swaying it with his foot.

“Reggie don’t fucking move this thing”

“What’s wrong scared Y/N”

“I don’t like swinging, just let it be still”

“Fine, Fine but are you sure”

“Mantle I will leave this date so quick”

“Okay, okay. Hey Y/N”

“What?”

“Thank you”

“For what?”

“Agreeing to go on this date with me. I know I can seem like a jackass and all but that isn’t who I am”

“I know your not Reg I’ve learned that from talking to you, why do you think I said yes”

*Flashback Over*

“You definitely did give me shit baby but it was so worth it”

“Oh yea”

“Definitely”

“You always make the cutest dates Reg, the first one included”

“We haven't had a date like that in a while”

“What do you mean?”

“Like just relaxing while being together we usually go out to eat and stuff which I love don’t get me wrong, but there was something about laying with you watching the stars that just I don’t know”

“No, I get it” You look down contemplating what Reggie had said. It was true you did miss just being with him, and you missed those small cute little dates he always put together but it wasn’t his fault.

“I’m sorry baby”

“For what Reg?”

“Not putting something together in a while, I feel like a dick”

“Babe don’t apologize, I could put a date together as much as you could we’ve just been so busy you with football and me with the Serpents we just haven’t had time to do that stuff and that’s okay”

“I know I just feel bad what do you say tonight we sit in my truck with a blanket and just look at the stars for a bit, like old times”

“I’d like that a lot”  

“Well it’s getting late we could drive now if you want”

“Yeah let’s go” As you were driving towards your spot, you got a text from your brother Fangs saying that he had work tonight so we wouldn’t be home till around one am.

“Hey, Reg?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“You wanna go to mine instead?”

“What about your brother”

“He has work”

“Oh?”

“If you don’t want to I get it it’s fine I just-” You got cut off by Reggie. You always had a slight fear of Reggie breaking up with you based off where you came from. But now dating him for 3 months you knew he would never. He wasn’t the big jock that everyone thought. Reggie was sweet and kind and he always made you feel like you belonged regardless of the jacket you wore or the place that you went home to at night.

“Baby calm down I’d love to”

“Really” He grabbed your hand in his placing a kiss to the top before resting it on your thigh. The drive to the trailer was somewhat quiet. With small conversations here and there. You must have fallen asleep in the middle of it because you got woken up to Reggie carrying you inside.

“Reg what are you doing?”

“Sorry baby I hope you don’t mind I grabbed your keys from your pocket and was going to carry you in”

“You seemed tired and I know you worked last night figured you could use some sleep”

“Well I'm awake you can put me down” he placed you on the ground outside of the truck before closing and locking the doors. “thank you babe” You grabbed his hand leading him into the trailer.

“Sorry it’s a mess”

“Baby there's a bottle on the table that is literally it, this whole place is cleaner than my bedroom”

“Your bedroom is also the size of this whole place so”

“Baby stop, you know I don’t care about that. I love it here”

“Don’t lie”

“I’m not Y/N. This place is a home”

“It’s a trailer”

“You don’t get it. Trailer, house or mansion. Whatever the building it doesn’t matter Y/N. My house is that just a house but this trailer you and Fangs made is a home. There is so much heart so much of him and you in here and I love seeing that”

“Thankyou, Reg”

“It’s just the truth I wouldn’t lie to you”

“I know you wouldn’t, hey I’m gonna get changed there are beers in the fridge if you want one”

“Thanks” You got changed into a pair of shorts and a tank top before walking out to see Reggie leaning against the side of the couch. You had a plan.

“Hey, Reg” You walked in sitting on his lap and playing with the strings of his hoodie.

“I know what you want” he quickly stripped his hoodie off before helping you slip your arms into it. After you laid into his side and pulled the blanket over both of you.

“So warm, thank you”

“Anything for you baby”

“I love your hoodies”

“Oh trust me I know I only have a few left, You think I could have them back?”

“I don’t know...”

“I mean you only like them after I wear them so I think it’s time I start wearing them again or you won’t have any left either” You chuckled slightly at his comment. Ever since that first date, all you did was steal his sweatshirts. There were times that he would notice and other times he wouldn’t. It always made you laugh when you would be over at his house and he would look for one but you knew it was laying on your bed. And that happened countless times.

“Wanna watch a movie?”

“Yeah let’s watch”

“Wait lemme guess (Your favorite movie)”

“How did you know?”

“Y/N we have watched movies together how many times, and every time without fail we end up watching this movie”

“Okay true, but I could have thrown a curveball”

“Oh talk dirty to me with the sports talk baby”

“Shut up Mantle, you don’t even play fucking baseball”

“But I could”

“Oh my god, just put the movie on” You hit him on the arm.

“Okay, okay I’ll put it on” You watched the movie talking some in between. With Reggie, conversations could be anything from joking about memes on Instagram to what people were wearing at a celebrity event. You would talk about things he cared about and things you cared about it didn’t matter what it was, but hearing his voice always made you feel calm.

You woke up to a slam of a door coming from the front of your house. You jumped up hitting Reggie in the mouth.

“Oh my god babe I’m so sorry” before you could even process Reggie had pushed you behind him grabbing the bat you kept behind the couch. You peeked over his shoulder to see Jughead standing there. You pushed in front of Reggie. “Jughead what the fuck are you doing?”

“Me? What the fuck are you doing?”

“You’re in my trailer!”

“Wait did you call Reggie babe!”

“Again Jug you are in my trailer, mine. So what the fuck are you doing in here, slamming the fucking door!”

“I was looking for Fangs!”

“He’s working!”

“Okay now answer my question why the fuck were you just laying on top of Reggie!”

“Oh my god use your fucking brain Jug, He’s my boyfriend”

“Your What!?! Fangs is gonna kill you!”

“He doesn’t dictate my life!”

“Well, maybe he should. Why would you date Mantle of all people? Not to mention he hates the Serpents!”

“Do you hear yourself. He may have done shit stuff in the past but he hasn’t done anything to the Serpents in months. He respects us Jug, He cares about me, and I am happy with him!”

“You are so fucking stupid Y/N he is probably just using you!” Reggie was tired of him coming at you at this point. He nudged you to the side slightly, before wrapping a protective arm around your waist.

“Jughead, stop”

“Oh shut it, Reggie, this doesn’t have anything to do with you this is about Y/N and her decisions!”

“No, I won’t shut it. It does have to do with me when you are talking about my girlfriend. I care about her. I love her. You don’t dictate that and neither does Fangs”

“Yeah well you’re probably just using her for sex” You stepped into Jugheads face.

“Stop judging my fucking relationship Jughead. I like Reggie a lot. He has done nothing but respect me and be sweet to me okay. So before you go and judge him maybe get to know him”

“Bullshit Y/N I'm going to find Fangs, and get ready for when he gets here!” Before you could respond you heard the slam of a bedroom door and Fangs run out.

“What the fuck is going on!” You looked to see Fangs running over to you.

“Fucking get out of my sisters face Jones or you’re going to regret it” he completely ignored the fact that Reggie was standing behind you. 

“Are you kidding me?”

“Jones you have five seconds 1, 2” He stepped back leaning against the counter. “Now you wanna tell me why you fucking busted into this trailer yelling at my little sister”

“Me! You’re worried about me yelling! Do you not see her right now!”

“Stop fucking yelling! Yes, I see her! I saw her when I came in” you interjected at that point.

“When did you come home?”

“About an hour ago, I got done around eleven thirty so I got here around twelve-fifteen, and I was sleeping peacefully until Jones fucking busted in here like the world was going to implode. Now, Jones, you wanna tell me what your fucking problem is that you busted in here at nearly one in the morning”

“I came here because I found something out about the Gargoyles. I thought you were home but Y/N said you were working, wait!”

“Jug why the fuck are you staring at me?”

“You were home which means you saw them sleeping on the couch just like I did, wait why the fuck would you let them do that? What the fuck Fangs!”

“Your acting like I didn’t know” Wait, what you were shocked.

“Wait Fangs you knew?”

“Yeah Y/N, of course, I fucking knew I know everything”

“You’re okay with it?”

“He may not have liked the serpents but I’ve seen you around him and I’ve seen you come home after being with him, your happier with him and if that’s the case then I’m okay with it. Now if he hurts you, you know I’ll kill him, but honestly, the way he looks at you I doubt that’s gonna happen”

“Okay but I don’t get it we were so careful”

“Y/N you thought I wouldn’t notice when you came home smelling like cologne”

“Why were you smelling me bro”

“Oh my god, I’m gonna kill you. I wasn’t smelling you that is weird as fuck dude. I just mean you came home sat next to me and the cologne like wafted. No offense Reggie but you wear a lot of cologne”

“None taken”

“Also Y/N you started wearing random ass sweatshirts that also smelled like cologne so I just kind of assumed you met a guy. Then one of the guys I used to hang with works at the restaurant in Greendale and saw you with Mantle. He texted me a pic making sure all was good with me, but I guess I'm curious too. Why didn’t you just tell me? Mantle wasn’t ashamed of you was he?” Before you could even talk Reggie stepped up.

“I would never be ashamed of her first of all, please never think that. I would scream that I was with her to everyone”

“Look Fangs. I wanted to tell you”

“Why didn’t you then Y/N”

“I guess I was scared. I mean it’s been a long ass time since I dated anyone. The last time I did it didn’t end well and you were so worried for me. I didn’t wanna scare you or worry you that he would hurt me. I mean it took me a while to even accept a date. I just didn’t wanna tell anyone and hear everyone's shit. But I regret it. I mean I regret at least not telling you I’m sorry Fangs”

“It’s okay sis. I just wanted you to know that I love you and if you're happy with him then I am happy for you okay?”

“Thank you Fangs”

“Now Jug I am okay with this, which means you and everyone else will be too. I accept Reggie and Y/N and unless he hurts her then we will be happy for them got it? Now get out of our trailer please” Jughead got up walking out before Reggie turned kissing you on the cheek.

“I better get going babe I’ll catch you later, love you” Fangs stopped him though.

“Reggie it’s really late and you were sleeping before Jughead woke us all up. I'd rather you stay here than pass out while driving”

“Really Fangs!”

“Yeah Y/N, It’s your trailer too he can sleep here whenever he wants just don’t do no funny business while I’m around got it”

“Oh my god you are so embarrassing, we are going to bed. Love you bro” You walked into the back of the trailer to your bedroom. Getting into the bed next to Reggie.

“Thank you, Reg”

“For what baby?”

“Being so cool with Jug yelling and shit”

“You don’t have to thank me for that he was just spewing shit I could care less what he said, I care about us none of that other shit matters, but I am glad how it turned out”

“Me too reg, me too”

“I love this”

“What?”

“Just us like this, laying together being together you curled up next to me it’s my favorite”

“Your so cheesy but I love it”

“Only for you baby girl, now get some sleep” You curled into Reggie's side as he ran his hand in your hair. Slowly drifting to sleep you felt content in your boyfriend's arms.

[salemwolfgang]

Thank God For The Hot Texan Sun

PT 1

Summary: Tired of being stranded with two perverted men in the middle of Texas. (Y/N), decides they should start looking for some help. Luckily they find find some but it isn’t exactly what they were expecting. Though something good does comes out of it.

Paring: Thomas Hewitt (Leatherface) x Reader

Warnings: Death, Violence, Gore, (eventual) Smut, and Cursing

A/N:

The plain Texan fields would’ve been quiet if it weren’t for the cicadas buzzing loudly and the few crickets that were hidden somewhere within the shrubs nearby. But all went quiet at a loud, angry, voice that belonged to a young woman. 

“Please, Alex! We can come back if we don’t find anything—I just wanna see if anyone’s around.” Her voice strained slightly as she begged, a lack of water and overuse of her voice most likely the cause. 

(Y/N) was already irritated, the heat caused her skin to flush and she sweated like a sinner in church, as her aunt would put it, and it was beginning to make her uncomfortable.Sure she could deal with a little heat every now and then but this much for this long? She was surprised she hadn’t shriveled up like a raisin. Almost on instinct, she wiped off some of the sweat that slid down her face and onto her neck.

Two boys, who were her supposed friends, stood next to her and both dawned the same look of dread and exhaustion as her. They too were soaked in sweat. It seemed to be everywhere and it caused their clothes to stick to their body like a second layer of skin. They all shared one thought during this time and it was that the Texan heat was truly unbearable. 

They had only been in the heat for three or so hours surprisingly, to (Y/N) It felt like longer. They wouldn’t have been in this position if Alex’s car hadn’t broken down. At first they took shelter in the cool of the car but then the car battery died so the a/c was no longer a safe haven. Much to everyone’s dismay.

(Y/N) had already asked multiple times if they could just leave for a bit and look for something, a gas station, a house- anything. Whatever could help them get out of this heat. It was too much and she wasn’t used to it, none of them were. After all they lived in Kentucky and it was never as hot as it was in Texas.

Alex ignored her every time and said they could wait. After the first hour the boys started to make nasty comments about (Y/N)’s condition. Thinking her sweaty body to be “attractive” and it reminding them of something quite fun they could do to kill the time. She became uncomfortable with the pair and tried her best to ignore them. Walking a few yards away under some bush to give them space. Eventually they ran out of ideas and left her alone, thankfully.

Alex finally put some thought about into her complaints for a few minutes and then finally gave her the much wanted answer. “Fine... Only if I get something outta it.” He smirked.

She ignored the last part, thinking he was playing a joke and gave him a small smile. “Thank you!” She shouted. Relieved to finally being able to leave.

Slowly the three made their way down the hot, black, and barely used road. They had formed a small triangle with Alex and (Y/N) in front looking around for any buildings or cars, while Brandon dragged behind slowly; to exhausted to move any faster than his current pace. What seemed like days later (Y/N) saw what looked to be a house-no mansion.

A relieved sigh escaped her lips as she realized that it only seemed to be a few miles up as well. She decided to tell the others.

She pointed towards it and yelled out, “Look! A house finally! Someones gotta live there!”

They all began to pick up their pace a small kick of adrenaline giving them a much needed boost. After a half an hour they made it to the front yard of the property. Brandon walked ahead of the rest and up to the door. He knocked three times yet no one answered.

He waited only a few seconds before repeating his action. The door was suddenly thrown open and out came a man dressed in a sheriff’s uniform.

“What in the hell do ya think you’re doin’, boy?!” The sheriff shouted.

“Sir, our car ran out of gas and the battery died. Can you possibly spare us some gas? Maybe help jump start the car?” Brandon asked. His tone was harsh towards the stranger.

“Now what gives you the right to use that tone towards an authoritative figure? Huh boy?” The sheriff gave Brandon a once over when Brandon scoffed. “Ya’ know my boy Tommy don’t take to kindly to rude strangers. But I think you’ll be fine.”

The sheriff turned towards (Y/N) and Alex. He smirked and waved them over.

“Don’ be shy now. We were just about to make some dinner. Why don’t y’all join us and then we’ll talk ‘bout your car.”

Alex grabbed (Y/N)’s hand and stared pulling her towards the house. She followed just behind him, slowly dragging along. Brandon walked through the door and into the front entrance of the building along with the sheriff. The two others followed quickly behind.

“I’m officer Hoyt. Sheriff of this here lil’ town.” Hoyt’s voice echoed in the small hallway they were in.

Giving off an eerie feeling; which both boys ignored. They were brought into a living room that had a man sitting on the couch. Both legs were wrapped up in some cloth and tied at the ends. He was watching the tv some show about earning money in easy ways.

“Y’all can sit here till we get dinner done. Don’t go anywhere.” Hoyt then left the room leaving them all alone.

Alex sat down and pulled (Y/N) onto his lap, unwillingly. She squirmed at the feeling but did nothing to get up. She didn’t want to make a scene or be rude in Hoyt’s house.

She continued to squirm on Alex’s lap freezing up when she felt a bulge in his pants.

Alex leaned into her ear and whispered, “Ya know (Y/N) you could pay me back right now. Yeah, we can go somewhere where it’s just the two of us and we can have some fun. Maybe not for you but definitely for me.“

He gripped her stomach tightly. So much so it hurt. She whined hoping he’d stop but he didn’t. Maybe going on this trip was a really bad idea.

“Alex, please let go. You’re hurting me and making me uncomfortable. Please.” She begged.

The man in the room with started to move into his wheelchair. Deciding he had enough tv time and left. Not seeming to understand the distressing situation with the three others. (Y/N) instantly began to internally panic about what could happen now that they were alone. She should’ve seen this coming but how could she?

Alex has been a guy she knew at college. He wants a typical frat boy along with Brandon. Both star basketball players who messed around with many, many girls. She only went with them on the trip after she found out they were going to a city a few towns over from her cousin’s in southern Texas. She needed a ride a cheap ride because she couldn’t really afford a proper plane ticket. So (Y/N) went with them and now she’s realizing just how bad of a situation this is.

“Aw come on, it’ll be fun.” Brandon cooed lightly while grabbing onto her arm in a tight grip, surely leaving a bruise, and smiled darkly at her.

His smile caused her stomach to turn in a very bad way. (Y/N) pulled her arm away and glanced towards the entrance when she heard footsteps. She wasn’t able to look to see who it was because Brandon ended up pulling her face back to where she could only see him.

“Hey look at us when we’re talking to you.” His tone was dark and he seemed to become very upset with her.

She was to focused on who was coming to the room to really process what Brandon an Alex was saying. She looked to the hallway again from the corner of her eye and was taken aback by a large man who stood there staring at them. From what she could see he was big, almost as large as the door frame but just barely enough to fit through it. He also had a mask seemingly made of leather covering half of his face; the rest was covered by dirt, or maybe it was smoke, and his long brown hair.

She realized that he wasn’t staring at her but rather the boys hands on her. She stared at him, trying her best to figure out who he could be. She hadn’t seen him when they first showed up, so she was left with unanswered questions. Only when she was looking at his clothes did she realize what he was holding in his left hand.

A chainsaw. It was covered in a dark red liquid. Some seemed to have dried but for the most part it was still wet. And that scared her a little. More than Alex and Brandon at the moment. Which seemed to confuse her more.

Brandon seemed to finally look at what she was distracting her so much from his very important speech. Turning his head Brandon’s eyes widened in shock upon see the intimidating beast-like-man before him.

“Who the fuck are you?” The man didn’t answer and only stared at Brandon.

“You gonna talk or just stare at us, freak?”

Something in the man snapped and he started revving up the chainsaw. The roar startled the two boys and they pushed (Y/N) off of them causing her to fall harshly onto the ground and scrape her knees. A wince left her lips at the harsh meet. Then the boys ran out of the living room, leaving (Y/N) with the chainsaw wielding stranger.

Were they really leaving you? The sound of the front door opening seemed to answer your question. Of course they would. But to her surprise the man started following them rather than killing her first. She sat there scared and confused on what was happening around her. Her thoughts began spiraling out of control.

Maybe it was a hallucination from the heat? And she was really with the boys back at their car. Though the loud screams and pleads for mercy seemed to tell at her that this was, in fact, reality. They were getting slaughtered by the unknown man and she wasn’t able to do anything but.... did she really want to? This could be karma for all the discomfort caused by the boys. But was Death a suitable punishment for their crimes?

Well now it was too late. The chainsaw was no longer buzzing and there were now no more screams to be heard. (Y/N) listened closely and only heard the sound of something dragging on the gravel outside. The front door was slammed open and heavy footsteps began making their way to the living room.

The large man once again made an appearance but this time he had Alex’s limp body hanging off his left shoulder. His chainsaw now nowhere to be seen. He held up his finger as if telling her to stay and she did.

He nodded, seeming to reassure himself. Then walked off to who knows where leaving (Y/N) alone again. She was finding this loneliness to be quite uncomfortable. Wanting someone to sit with her anyone, even the man would do.

The house was quiet. Any sign of life no longer audible in the most likely empty house. (Y/N) was sure that officer Hoyt was no longer here. If he was he would have seen the man kill her “friends”  and could’ve stopped him but he must’ve left to get them parts or help. They man in the wheelchair also must’ve gone.

A door was slammed shut inside the house and soon followed the loud footsteps  heard from before made their way to the living room.

[anxiously-going]

Day Twenty One: Laced Drink

Star Trek AOS, Mirror!verse. Pre Mirror, Mirror story line, Pre- Len losing an eye.

Something was wrong. 

Something- something was definitely wrong. 

The ambient noise suddenly seemed amplified, but not...not present. Like too loud music underwater or earmuffs at a concert. 

Len shook his head. Trying to clear the fog, to figure out what it was that was going on. To hang on to the reality of where he was. He gripped the hard wood counter, trying to ground himself. His hand seemed to phase through the wood and he went spilling side, cracking his head on the ground as he went. 

Noises closed in around his as misshapen figures encircled him, muttering and crooning in strange languages. 

He was losing his grip. Black spots started in and out of his field of view. A hand reached out to him and he scrambled desperately away. Strange faces pinned him against the bar. 

Black spots took more of his vision. 

He felt like he wasn't breathing. 

Was that what was causing the spots? 

He wasn't sure. Something in his gut said to run. 

But he couldn't move. 

His body felt stiff and weighty. Like sleep paralysis. But he was awake, wasn't he? He was awake. He had to be awake. He was- he was some place. But it was wrong. Something was wrong. 

A face, blurred and distant forced itself into his fading view. He knew that face. Didn't he? He was it seemed familiar. At least, it eased the pounding in his that screamed at him to run, to get out, to get...safe. Someplace that wasn't here. Here was bad.

The face that he almost knew spoke, and he let the man- he was fairly certain it was a man at least- pull him to his feet. 

Len almost dropped again, but strong arms held him steady. Someone murmured something he was sure he should have understood as the blackness engulfed him entirely. 

___

"Bones? Bones! Hey, ya with me?" 

Leonard slowly as Jim's face came into view. 

"Hey," the younger man sighed. "How ya feelin', pal?" 

"What happen?"  

"Someone tried to kill you," Jim answered bluntly. "That Jordan kid apparently didn't think you should have gotten Puri's position, he decided to go after you for it. We think he paid the bartender off. Your drink was laced with some drug I couldn't pronounce. Christine recognized it from her research though. She and M'Benga were able to to put together an antidote." 

"How'd you know it was Jordan?" 

"Christine is faster with a hypo than he is. She caught him trying to dose you again. He's not talking, but it was filled with the same stuff in your drink." 

"Fantastic," Len spat. "As if we're not short handed enough around here." 

"Bones, he tried to kill you." 

"Yeah, I heard you. But that's exactly the problem. People keep killin' each other off. No one wants to be a ship doctor cause we're either pullin' people from the brink, or nearly getting offed ourselves!" 

"Hey, keep it down." 

"This isn't why I became a doctor, Jim! I didn't become a doctor to stand there and watch people die on my table when I could save their lives!" 

"Stand down, Lieutenant Commander," Jim snapped. He glanced around the room and lowered his voice. "I get it. This isn't what you wanted to do with your life. But you're here, and you're lucky you are. You're lucky that M'Benga doesn't have an aspirations right now. But if someone else hears talk like that reports it, he might find himself with orders that I can't belay. Do you understand that?" 

"I'm tired of this, Jim," Len replied weakly. 

Jim's face softened. "I know, Bones, I know. This isn't what any of us wanted, but I can't see a way out," he shrugged helplessly. "Unless we can find someway… but I don't see that happening. I just… I've half grown up in this, Bones. I don't see it changing anytime soon. We just have to buckle down and ride it out." 

"Till what? Till someone slits our throats in our sleep so they can have our jobs? Because we don't get to retire, Jim. You get that, right? Even if by some miracle we get survive this they won't let us go. I can't keep this charade up forever. Someone gonna figure it, or get suspicious, and it's not gonna be hard to figure out. What are they gonna do then? Because they're not gonna be happy about me lying to them. What do I do then? What do I do when they go after my mother?" 

"After the crap she put you through? You keep your mouth shut and let them deal with her." 

"She's my mother!"

"She abused you! Besides, it's not gonna come to that. I won't let it," Jim said firmly as if that solved the matter. 

"You might not have a choice. I don't wanna live like this, Jim." 

"I know. We're all tired. But there's nothing we can do. There's no sense in hoping otherwise. Get some rest, doctor. We need you back on rotation as soon as possible." He patted Len's arm, and just like that left the room, leaving Len feeling worse than when he had woken up. 

[catty-words]

lose your heart and your head (1/?)

summary: Now that they've both graduated, Annie convinces Jeff to join her on a cross-country road trip. Word Count: ~4,500 Author’s Note: Shout out to @bethanyactually for being the best beta any writer could ask for, always helping me create better, more IC scenes. I was hoping to post this all at once for the classic trope day, but the idea has already gotten away from me. I hope the story carries you away, too.

(ao3)

~~~

“I’m not going to take no for an answer.”

Apparently, in their time apart, Annie’s lost her ability to hold a conversation because Jeff doesn’t understand what the hell she’s talking about.

“First of all, yes, please come in. So glad you could stop by.” She’s not fazed by his sarcasm even a little, too busy unfolding a map across his kitchen counter. “Secondly, no for an answer to what?”

She waves him closer with a grin, and despite the warning signals going off in his head—it’s a trap and giving the inch it’ll take to hear her out will have her snagging a whole damn mile out from under your feet—he takes a seat on the barstool next to her.

“We’re going on a road trip.”

Jeff raises his eyebrows, waiting for further explanation.

Annie lets out an exasperated sigh, like she can’t believe he isn’t caught up yet, and fixes her bright, manic-with-the-promise-of-a-big-project eyes on him. “You know! A cross-country road trip to celebrate the fact that we’re both college grads now. A final adventure before we have to put our whimsy aside in the face of adulthood and corporate America!”

“Okay, Britta. You know I’m thirty-five, right? I’ve pretty much already faced adulthood.”

“That doesn’t mean you’ve outgrown the need for an adventure! Come on, I’ve already planned the route and booked the first couple hotels. All you have to do is pack, show up, and drive some of the way.”

His eyes drift to the map. Annie has circled several cities in red pen, and he wouldn’t be surprised if she had a twenty-page itinerary all typed up and ready.

He has to admit, it’s an appealing proposal. But…

“We’re both broke. How would we afford this?”

When she doesn’t jump at the chance to talk away all his worries, he looks back up at her curiously.

The expression on her face is a complicated mix of guilt, determination, and some other emotion that he can’t discern.

“What?” he asks. “What is it?”

She hesitates for a second, then says, “My mother sent me a check. A gift for graduation.” She pauses, swallowing hard before squaring her shoulders. “But I don’t need or want her money.”

“So? You’re…what? Trying to burn it all up as fast as you can? I can think of more productive ways to do that.”

She frowns at him. “I already made my choice. And I’m going with or without you. I’d just happen to prefer having a travel companion.”

At the same time a new set of warning bells go off in Jeff’s head, he feels a delighted tug in his heart.

“What about the rest of the group?” he asks.

She ticks them off on her fingers. “I could never ask Shirley to leave her kids for that long, Troy and Abed have already decided their summer is going to be dedicated to developing some app, Britta already has travel plans, and can you even imagine what Pierce would be like on a road trip? I love him, but…he can barely sit through a single Star Wars movie.”

“So you asked everyone else already?” Jeff checks, feeling ridiculous for the way his stomach flops over at the thought.

Annie picks at the curling edge of her map, diverting her gaze. “Well they were actually around to ask.”

“I’ve been busy,” Jeff says evasively.

“Well then you’re probably ready for a bit of a break, huh?” She fixes a smile back on her face and raises her eyebrows expectantly. When he hesitates, she says, “Not gonna take a no, remember?”

Jeff glances around his apartment. It’s not like he’s got anything going on that he can’t walk away from for a couple weeks. And he’s never been out of the state before….

Annie’s smile brightens when she sees that she’s winning him over.

“Fine,” he says, rolling his eyes when she squeals.

“Great! We leave on Saturday at eight in the morning. I’ll pick you up here.”

~~~

The sound of the car door banging shut startles Jeff awake. It takes him several disoriented moments to remember where he is and what he’s doing, but as soon as he does, he glances around in worry, looking for Annie.

He catches sight of the messy bun sitting lopsided on the top of her head through the back window, realizes she’s pumping gas, and lets out a relieved breath. He can’t even begin to imagine what the group would do to him if he brought Annie home in less than pristine condition.

She must feel his eyes on her because she looks up, then waves and flashes him a dazzling smile.

Heat pools in Jeff’s cheeks for some reason and he salutes her before ducking his head. They’ve only been on the road for—Jeff checks his watch—four hours, and he’s already coming face-to-face with all the reasons this trip is a bad idea.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Annie says, sliding back into her seat. “I hope you got enough rest because we’ve got a big day ahead of us.”

He groans and rubs at his stiff neck. “Yeah, it was great. Your decrepit hatchback is basically a five-star hotel.”

She shoots him a dirty look and then pats the dashboard of her car. “Don’t make her angry. She’s all we’ve got for the next couple weeks.”

Ignoring that comment, Jeff says, “If you wanna trade seats, you too could experience the resort-style lumpy upholstery.”

“Nuh-uh, I’m not letting you behind the wheel until you’re ready to be nice.”

“You might wanna rethink your punishment. That lacks punch.”

Instead of answering him, Annie tilts her chin up and puts the car in gear. As soon as they’re merging back onto the highway, she hits the power on the stereo and hums along to a Barenaked Ladies song.

Jeff narrows his eyes at her profile. “Seriously?”

Without taking her eyes off the road, she swats his arm. “You were asleep. Consider it part of your punishment. The driver gets to pick the music.”

“Oh, you are so going to eat those words later.”

Annie shrugs, clearly unthreatened.

They ride in quiet for a couple songs, till Jeff, antsy with nap energy, pulls out the map. “Albuquerque’s our first stop, right?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“And what fun activities do you have planned for us there?”

“I have a list in one of my bags of places I’d like to visit,” she says.

“Of course you do,” Jeff replies.

“It’s mostly the usual kinds of touristy things. A couple parks. The natural history museum.”

“Why am I not surprised that a road trip with you is basically an extended high-school field trip?”

She scoffs. “Well, excuse me for wanting to complete this trip as a more cultured person than when I began.”

“All I’m saying is we’d better have some fun, too.”

“You’re welcome to pick some of our activities,” she says haughtily.

“I’m glad that you’re acknowledging I’m the only one here who knows how to have fun.”

In response, Annie turns up the music and sings along.

~~~

They make it to Albuquerque around 4:00. So far, Annie hasn’t relinquished the wheel, so Jeff suggests they stop at the hotel before sightseeing. She insists that they stop by the Albuquerque Museum first, since they only have an hour before it closes.

Visiting a museum with Annie, Jeff quickly realizes, is boring. She spends her time carefully reading every plaque and taking occasional notes in a five-subject notebook she apparently bought specifically for their trip.

Jeff’s approach is much quicker—get in, spend a few seconds looking at whatever catches his eye, get out. He spends most of his time trailing behind Annie and playing Tetris on his phone.

Still, even though they’ve barely done anything, he feels the fatigue of travel weighing him down as they finally exit the museum.

“Should we grab dinner before or after we check in?” Annie asks as they cut through the crowded parking lot toward the car.

“After,” Jeff answers, already craving a hot shower.

Their reservation is at a Comfort Inn. They arrive after a short fifteen-minute drive, and take their time stretching when they step out of the car.

After grabbing their suitcases from the trunk, they make their way inside. The wave of air conditioning that hits them as soon as they step through the sliding doors is very much welcome.

“Can I help you two?” the front desk attendant asks.

“Yes, I have a reservation under Edison,” Annie says. While the attendant looks it up, Annie turns to grin at Jeff.

Though he shakes his head at her nerdy excitement, he can’t help but grin back.

After Annie hands the clerk her ID and a credit card, and signs some paperwork, he slides a small paper envelope across the counter. “Here are your keys. You’re in room 236. Please enjoy your stay.”

Jeff doesn’t think much of the exchange until they get to the second floor and Annie’s unlocking the door.

“We’re sharing a room?” he asks, and suddenly his palms feel kind of itchy.

“Well, yeah,” she says. “It’s the most economic use of our money.”

“I’ll bet you double-checked the math,” he teases, mustering a tight smile.

She continues as if he hadn’t spoken, pulling her big suitcase through the doorway. “As it is, I think we’ll have to stay at more basic motels in a couple cities to come in under budget. Don’t worry, though. We don’t have to share everything.” She nods at the two full beds on the far side of the room.

“Right,” is the only response Jeff can come up with.

The space isn’t cramped, exactly. But Jeff does feel a little too warm, like the room is too crowded.

In addition to the two beds, there’s a modest desk, a television, a large window overlooking the stretch of patchy grass behind the building, and a bathroom.

Annie claims the bed closest to the door, flopping her luggage down on the bed. He watches for a moment as she methodically checks the mattress for signs of bed bugs. (He can tell that’s what she’s doing because she sent him an email about conducting inspections that morning before they left.) When he starts to feel a tingling under his skin, he clears his throat. “I’m, uh, gonna shower…unless you need the bathroom?”

“It’s all yours,” she says, not even looking at him.

He lingers a second longer before grabbing his kit and retreating.

It’s not until after he’s finished showering that he realizes he never picked any clothes to change into. Shaking his head at his foggy reflection, Jeff ties the towel—which is probably a normal size for an average person, but which seems way too small to him—as securely as he can around his waist and steps out into the room.

The cool air outside the bathroom feels nice, but it’s also a shock to his skin, raising goosebumps along his arms and bare torso.

Annie’s sprawled out on the bed—which must be bed bug-free—with two notebooks in front of her. She’s already in pajamas and she’s let her hair down.

Jeff gulps.

“Even more notes?” he asks, using one hand to hold his towel in place while unzipping his suitcase with the other.

“Mm-hmm. I thought it would be worthwhile to journal about this experience,” she replies, way too chipper about this self-imposed assignment, and then glances up. Her eyes widen as she takes in the sight of him, gaze crawling slowly from his shower-messy hair to the sliver of his thigh that’s peeking out from the towel. Jeff smirks inwardly at how long it takes her to recover. “I…um, I ordered a pizza.”

Jeff tugs on a blue t-shirt and awkwardly tries to put on pajama pants without flashing Annie. “What kind?”

“One half without cheese, just for you,” she says, turning her attention back to her notebooks as Jeff settles down on his own bed.

He grins at her before turning on the television. “You know what I like.”

Annie goes downstairs to retrieve the food when it arrives, and she climbs right onto Jeff’s bed when she gets back, setting the pizza box down in front of them and leaning against the headboard.

They watch a rerun of Friends in contented silence, her knee resting on his thigh. He’s hyperaware of the contact, his brain full of nothing else but that gentle pressure. Too full, in fact, to come up with the appropriate reaction. Does he put his arm around her? That seems too forward. Maybe something more casual, like a palm resting on her thigh?

By the time the first episode is over, they’ve eaten most of the pizza and Jeff’s still waffling over what to do. So he doesn’t completely freak her out and do something unacceptable, like kiss the top of her head in his panic, he stands up, grabs the pizza box, and walks it over to the desk.

He ends up settling in a little closer to her when he sits back down, chance making the decision for him, and then waits to see how she’ll shift to get comfortable.

When she snuggles in, letting her head droop against his shoulder, Jeff sighs in relief and, in turn, lets one of his hands casually fall onto the her cool skin of her knee.

“I think it’s finally starting to sink in,” she says during a commercial break, startling him.

“What is?” he asks, taking and deep breath and watching as she idly traces the curve of his wrist with her pointer finger.

“That we’re really doing this. Traveling the country. Going through with this adventure.”

He nods. “I don’t know that I’m there yet. It still all feels a little strange, like I’m only imagining myself here.”

Annie hums in understanding and then sits up. “Well, imaginary Jeff is good company.”

“Even when he sleeps through the first leg of the trip and makes fun of your car?”

She grins, and her eyes have this sleepy droop to them that makes her look extra cute. “Even then. It feels…I mean, I’m glad that you could be here. Thanks.”

Jeff forces himself not to look away from her as he says, “I’m glad I could be here, too.”

She sucks on her lower lip as if to keep a wide smile from blooming on her face, but she doesn’t quite stop it.

“Okay, good.”

Guilt twists in Jeff’s stomach when he realizes she really needed the reassurance that he wanted to do this.

“I’m gonna…” she says after a moment of prolonged silence and gestures to her own bed.

“Of course. Good night.”

She gets up to move to her bed. “Sweet dreams.”

“Don’t let the bed bugs bite,” he says as he turns off the lamp on his nightstand.

“That’s not funny.” Annie’s reproving voice comes from across the darkened room.

He falls asleep with a grin on his face.

~~~

He’s woken up the next morning by the sound of Annie bustling about the room.

“Oh, good, you’re up,” she says when she notices him stirring. “They’re going to clean up the complimentary breakfast any minute, and you really should eat something before we head out for the day.”

He sits up, rubbing at his bleary eyes, and watches as she folds her pajamas neatly and packs them back into her suitcase. Since they’re staying in the city for another night, she’s wearing a much nicer outfit than her tank top and worn capris from their day of travel. Her hair is damp from an early morning shower and falls in waves around her shoulders.

He swallows down the comment about how pretty her dress looks and slips out of bed. “I knew you’d be way too perky in the mornings,” he says instead.

“It’s barely morning anymore,” she says, nodding pointedly at the clock on his nightstand that displays a bright green 10:12. “You’re burning daylight, Winger.”

As he grabs his toiletries and heads for the bathroom, he grumbles under his breath about how they’re supposed to be having fun. He just manages to close the door before the paperback book she’s thrown slaps him in the face.

After grabbing a banana and a cereal bar for breakfast, they head to—surprise, surprise—another museum. Or cultural center or whatever.

Jeff complains the entire walkthrough, pestering Annie to promise him that their next stop is cooler. She purses her lips and pointedly ignores his comments, but he can’t decide if it’s because he’s offended her and her love of museums or because she knows he’ll hate the next item on her itinerary.

“Come on, Annie,” he says as they make their way through the last room. “You can’t keep me in the dark forever.”

With a sigh, she finishes making a note and looks up at him sheepishly. “I’m pretty sure you’re going to think it’s lame.”

“If the plan is to spend another three hours doing nothing but reading, then you’re right. This is only marginally cooler than school because of the visual aids.”

She turns her attention back to her notebook with a frown. When she speaks again, it’s so quiet that Jeff has to lean in to catch it. “We’re going to a zoo.”

“Huh,” he says, raising his eyebrows.

“Go ahead, judge me,” she says, already pushing past him and moving for a large tapestry hanging on the wall. “But I’m really excited, and I promise I don’t have anything scheduled after that.”

“A zoo would be agreeable,” he says, shoving his hands into his pockets and leaning next to the informational plaque Annie’s reading.

Her eyes immediately shift to his face, her brow furrowed with suspicion. “You wanna go to the zoo?”

“I’m not heartless, Annie, and looking at cute animals is way more fun than reading about the history of some random pot.”

“Pottery is an essential part of the—”

Jeff shakes his head. “You’re not going to convince me it was interesting. You’re just not.”

She harrumphs and turns her attention back to the art. He watches her face as she takes it in, her eyes sliding carefully over the details, alert and engrossed. She’s clearly getting something out of it, but her concentration is baffling to him, and makes him feel kind of jittery in response.

“The only time I’ve ever been, my dad ended up leaving me there,” he blurts out without making the conscious decision to speak.

She gives him a questioning yet patient look.

“At the zoo,” he clarifies.

“Oh.” A beat. “That’s horrible”

He nods his head. “If I remember correctly, he was following around some poor woman, trying to get her to go home with him, and forgot all about me.”

She processes that, making a soft, almost pitying noise in the back of her throat. “I can’t believe…we have to go.”

“Good thing we were already planning on it,” Jeff says, cocking his head at her.

“No, now. We have to go now.”

“But what if you miss learning something totally interesting about local whittling or something?”

“That’s not as important,” she says, earnest despite his sarcasm. “C’mon.”

~~~

“So?” Annie asks as they sit down at a patio table at the Cottonwood Café. To their left is a stunning view of the Rio Grande, but the lingering stench of animals helps balance out what would otherwise feel like a too-romantic setting. “What did you think?”

“It was…probably something I would have enjoyed more as a kid.”

She nods, accepting this. “Admit it, though, you still had fun.”

He narrows his eyes at her, but when her smile doesn’t waver, he says, “The polar bears were cool.”

Her smile widens. “What about getting to see them feed the seals?”

Jeff tries, and immediately fails, not to grin back. “Fine, it was all disgustingly adorable and good, wholesome fun. But I’m not gonna write about it in my diary.”

She clucks her tongue. “I guess this means I shouldn’t save a spot for you in today’s journal entry as I’d planned. Darn.”

He picks a slice of pickle off his bun-less burger and tosses it at her. She dodges it, but lets out a squeak loud enough that they attract a couple of judgmental stares from the people at surrounding tables.

“Gross, Jeff!”

He only shrugs in response.

After lunch, they make their way over to the botanic gardens, and Annie chooses the Japanese trail for them, which apparently features a waterfall-inspired fountain and plenty of pretty foliage. They’ve only just started out when Jeff realizes that most of the other people walking the path are holding hands or pausing by blooming trees to nuzzle up to each other for pictures.

Judging by her ramrod straight posture and sudden stiffness, Annie’s noticed all the couples, too.

They walk in tense silence for a while, and he can’t help but sneak regular glances at her profile. Her skin somehow looks extra soft in the dappled light, and a gentle breeze keeps sending tendrils of her hair fluttering around her face.

Jeff clenches his fists by his sides, and takes a deep breath.

The pleasant smell of flowers is thick in the air, but it does little to calm his spiking heart rate.

When the atmosphere between them becomes too thick to breathe, Jeff says, “So.”

At the same moment, Annie offers a forced-cheerful, “Well!” and they both laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

The next second, a butterfly lands on Jeff’s temple, tickling him with its fluttering wings.

“Oh my god,” Annie whispers excitedly. “Jeff, don’t move.”

His brows pull together, wrinkling his forehead as he gives her a disbelieving look, and the butterfly shifts. She purses her lips in warning and pulls out her phone.

“Smile!” She instructs, but Jeff rolls his eyes as she takes the picture. The butterfly’s gone a second later. She frowns at him, but says, “I guess that’s a more authentic way to remember the moment.”

He snatches her phone from her. “Your turn. For every goofy picture of me, there’d better be one of you, too.”

“That picture’s not goofy!”

“Whatever. We’re still taking one of you.”

Annie acquiesces easily and steps in front of the picturesque pond before flashing a bright grin at the camera.

He lines up the shot but doesn’t take it.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

“There’s something missing,” he says, glancing around. “Ah-ha!”

He plucks a cluster of pink cherry blossoms from a nearby tree.

“Jeff! I don’t think you’re supposed to do that,” she protests, but he hears the way her breath catches in her throat when he steps into her personal space and tucks it into her hair.

“What? It matches your dress,” he says, smiling down at her as warmth starts to pool in his chest.

She licks her lips and nods ever-so-slightly.

“Right, um, I think that’s better,” he says, hurriedly turning away and lining up the shot again.

There’s a soft, pleased smile on her face when he finally takes the picture.

They continue along the trail without a word—the silence is still tense, but it’s a familiar tension that Jeff has come to associate with being alone with Annie, so it’s nothing he can’t handle—and seconds later, Jeff feels his phone buzz in his pocket.

Annie sent the photos to their friends’ group message, and the responses are already rolling in.

Shirley: Oh, that’s nice!

Abed sends a thumbs-up emoji.

Pierce: Gay butterfly, man.

Britta: where r u guys?? u better not be wasting this trip at tourist traps. in my experience, it’s better to converse with locals to really get a feel for the town and find out what places are worth visiting.

Troy: aw, annie, you look pretty.

Troy: so does jeff

Jeff ignores the twist of his stomach when he reads Troy’s message, and types out: thanks, britta, we’ll be sure to take your advice the next time we want to get arrested in a strange place.

After hitting send, he saves the picture of Annie.

~~~

They get up before sunrise the next morning. Since their next stop is San Antonio, they’ll spend most of the day driving, but Annie insisted they get an early start anyway.

After checking out, they load their luggage into the car.

The parking lot is quiet, the world still all around them. Jeff takes a deep breath of crisp, early morning air and laughs.

“What?” Annie asks, slamming her trunk closed to make sure it sticks.

“It’s finally hitting me,” he says.

“Your morning coffee?” she guesses.

“No,” Jeff says. “That we’re doing this. A real road trip.”

A slow smile spreads across her face, and they both take a second to appreciate the periwinkle-colored dawn sky.

“Let’s get a move on, then,” she says, clapping her hands together. “We’ve got more adventure ahead of us.”

[oxhaven]

Peter Pan  IV

“Are you ready yet?”

Baekhyun stood at the bottom of the staircase with furrowed eyebrows and a pout on his lips as he leaned against the black railing. He heard your shuffling feet as you came out of the bedroom and hurried into the bathroom.

He threw his head back with a sigh before whining. “C’mon hermit, stop stalling.”

You head shot out over the stair railing as you glared down at the boy below. “Listen here jackass, I am not a hermit.”

You went over to the staircase and walked down. Baekhyun scanned your outfit with a smirk playing on his face. Your short gray skirt showed off your pretty legs as you matched it with a sleeveless pastel pink t-shirt and topped it off with black felt floppy hat.

You stood in front of when you reached the bottom step huffing in his face as you crossed your arms. “I love being outside, I just don’t like being in crowded places.”

He stared you down for a long moment before he leaned in suddenly pecking your lips with kiss and taking you by surprise. He broke into a smile and took your hand in his before dragging you along to the front door.  

“You wanna tell me where you’re taking me?”

You had been walking for a while now, hand in hand with Baekhyun as you both strolled through the streets of the town. Surprisingly not a whole lot of people were out and it made easier to be out and about without the trouble of being in a crowd.

“You’ll see, it’s a surprise.” He answered, his mind was a bit elsewhere as he looked around. He didn’t loosen up his grip on your hand as you walked, but he seemed to be thinking as his eyes searched around making you think he probably got you both lost. It wasn’t until you walked a bit further ahead, getting towards the end of town and seeing a large Ferris wheel in the distance.

“The carnival?” you exclaimed with eyes going wide. Your hands started to clam up as you felt your body go tense and slowed your pace. “Baek I-”

“It’ll be fine!” He turned around abruptly to face you, his reassuring smile and promising eyes looking right at you as he held both your hands in his. Of course you couldn’t say no, not when he was staring at you like that and not when he had your heart in the palm of his hands. He watches you nod your head with a worried expression but he only smiles and brings your hands to his lips and smacks a kiss to your knuckles.

“I promise I’ll show you a good time.”

He definitely kept his word, showing the most fun you haven’t had in a while. The amusement park had many people but there happy faces took no notice of you as everyone enjoyed themselves. Baekhyun knew just how to open you up by pushing you out of your comfort zone and diving into the entertainment. He took you on almost every ride from bumper cars to the tea cups, in which you never heard the end of his everlasting puns and jokes. Mountains of cotton candy you both fed to each other with more teasing on Baekhyun’s end. Your stomach was filled with butterflies that put your body in a fit of glee as your mind wished for this moment to never end.

As the sun began to the set he took you on the Ferris wheel, a bit romantic to end the fun. Your head hung over the cart, your mouth wide open as you watched how high you went. Baekhyun was sitting right beside you, holding the hand that squeezed his and watching you with eyes interested, a longing look that quietly contemplated.

*

“So did I keep my promise?” Baekhyun asked when you walked out of the park, hand in hand with satisfaction written on your faces. You were walking in a field of wild flowers, with nothing but beauty surrounding you just before the sun set.

You teasingly hummed in thought, looking about so you wouldn’t have to show your smile to him. “I guess, you can get an A for effort.”

“You’re gonna have to give me more than that baby girl.”

“Well you’re gonna have to earn – hey!” you squeaked out before you could finish your initial sentence from your hat getting knocked off your head as Baekhyun was laughing and running away. You went after him without hesitance, yelling for him to get back here as you laughed along.  

You were running, running and playing in the field of wild flowers as the orange hue of the sun shined down on you. You watched his back and heard him scream in delight, running far from you but you didn’t dare get left behind.

You laughed as you ran, your legs burning as exhaustion weighed heavy but your smile wouldn’t let you stop, and you didn’t want to lose it.

Up ahead you saw Baekhyun turn around to face you, his running coming to a stop when he reached the bird cherry tree. His soft eyes looked to see you behind him, his mouth hanging open since he was out of breath but he still managed to crack a smirk. You picked up speed, hearing your feet stomp on the ground and your breathing grow ragged with each intake as you got closer and closer until finally you were in his arms. You jumped right into his arms, hearing him huff out a breath before you both were falling, his arms wound tight around you as he fell on his back. Your voices were ringing out in joy still, Baekhyun trying to catch his breath as his hand rubbed comforting circles onto your back as you giggled tiredly in his chest.

You finally rolled off of him and onto your back, the hard ground strong and hard against it. The bird cherry flowers hung over you like summer mistletoes with a gentle breeze kissing your hot skin. You looked to your right, Baekhyun’s eyes already on you and staying by your side all the while. He sat up into sitting position and you followed, your wide eyes completely entranced by him as his hand came up cupping your cheek in which you instantly closed your eyes and leaned into the touch. You even puckered your lips with expectancy until you felt a slight weight on your head.

Your eyes shot open, blinking at the person who wore a foolish grin on his face. You tapped your head with a slight gasp as you grabbed onto an object and brought it down to look only for your eyes to widen in surprise. In your hands was a crown made of flowers and branch, carefully made by yours truly. You looked back up at Baekhyun with your mouth hanging open and lost for words as he scoffed and rolled his eyes.  

Taking it out of your hands, he placed the flower crown over your head once more with a satisfied smile as he carefully pushed it down in place. You didn’t bother to ask, but expressed how you felt as you tackled him back to the ground, kissing the life out of him as the both of you went into a fit of giggles once more under the bird cherry tree, under the setting sun.

With the sky finally dark and only a few stars lighting the way, Baekhyun and you finally decided to head out. Your arms wrapped around his neck and legs around his waist, he carried you on his back with slow steps as he hummed softly, a familiar melody that lulled you into restfulness.

“Are you taking me home now?” you murmured with eyes closed, your lips speaking against his neck.

You felt him shake his head as he tutted quietly. “No, the fun’s not over.”

“What more could you possibly have-” You begin to ask until the sentence was caught in your throat when you lifted up your head and looked out.

You could see the street lit up in golden lights as lanterns hung from the wires connected to the street poles. The street was bustling with people going to each stand and trying the different foods. A small festival was going on but there were so many people out and enjoying themselves.  

You didn’t notice till later that Baekhyun was slowly letting his hold on you loose so you dropped your feet to the ground. As you steadied yourself his hand slipped in yours making you look at his sly smirk and eyes that winked at you before he was dragging you along.    

You walked hand in hand down the path, listening to the workers in the stalls offer up their just made snacks for unreasonable prices. The noise oddly calmed you, seeing all the happy families, the kids running around with the watchful eyes of their parents, your boyfriend beside you taking it all in.

This had truly been a perfect day.

A small tug on your hand had your head snapping to Baekhyun curiously as he brought you over to a stand. Freshly made teriyaki on sticks wafted in your nose and you smelled with your mouth moistening in want. The person behind the grill was busy flipping and accepting money and didn’t notice as Baekhyun snatched two off a plate that was on the counter. He quickly handed one to you as the other instantly in his mouth and he hummed in bliss. You did the same, letting the taste explode your senses as you smiled and enjoyed the snack with the one you loved.  

“Hey!”

Your head went spinning; turning it to the worker who caught you two who took without paying and being dragged into a sprint in the other direction as Baekhyun grabbed your hand and went running.

“Don’t let go okay?” you heard him shout before your hand squeezed around his and followed his pace as best as you could. With eyes blown wide and adrenaline rushing through your body you ran all the way down the street, pushing past people and the wind whipping your face. Until you couldn’t see the bright orange people, until you couldn’t hear the commotion of people did you finally make it back onto the familiar street that led home.  

You stopped for a minute to catch your breath and you leaned over on your knees with your heart beating fast and hard in your chest.

“Breath.” You heard with a hand patting your shoulder. “Are you okay?”

You peered up at his worried, wide eyed expression before breaking out into a grin. “That was so much fun!”

He blinked at you before breaking out into a smile and snorting in laughter. You straightened up and tackled him with a hug, his arms instantly wrapping around you and returning the embrace. You leaned back with lips puckered and kissing his face, wherever your lips would reach as you ignored his giggling protests.

The moon high in the sky and stars dancing in the dark span, you and Baekhyun were walking home with memories of the day never to be forgotten. And with one last look his way, you came to the thought that Baekhyun was everything you needed, taking you on an adventure you never wanted to end.

Previous                                                                                               Next

[silversnaffles]

Okay so whilst I wanted to vent about this, I didn’t want to just in case but my mum’s been telling people irl so I’m gonna do it. (this is super, super long so idc if no one reads, I just wanna get it off my chest).

I’m annoyed at Star’s (and Amber’s) loaners. The family who loan them are a mother and her two young daughters (a 9 year old and 13 year old). They’ve been having a hard time, and mum wanted the old girls to have some attention so she offered them on loan with the only ‘payment’ being mucking out the girls’ paddock. Initially this worked out well, Star had a little girl gushing over her and they were both being lightly ridden (I had still been hacking Star out so she was fine). But then the mucking out started to slip, as well as the actual care itself.

We stupidly took it for granted. They were always gushing over how much they love the mares and mum had known the mother for years, so we assumed the mares were being properly cared for. We’d check on them in the paddock and do their water and stuff, but that was it. 

Alarm bells should’ve rung when I brought Amber in a couple of months ago to change her rugs when I found her hair falling out of her belly, and loads of scabs and dried puss underneath. I assumed it was a simple mistake, I sometimes forget to check the bellies too. I cleaned up and applied some silver spray and told them and my mum to keep an eye on it.

Now, since then we’d been concerned with how the mother had started to leave the girls to do their own things with the mares, despite wanting to loan them to teach the girls to ride. The 13 year old is fine left to her own devices as she just likes to groom Amber (and with Amber being 32, this is fine). However, the 9 year old has started trotting Star constantly. Just up and down in straight lines. Even under Star’s thick cushings coat, you can see her condition isn’t great from the winter and her back legs are stiff from the arthritis (the mother told me she’d look into joint supplements but never did), but the kid just keeps trotting.

Also Star has started to be aggressive towards the kid. Star has never bit anyone. She is essentially a little quiet push button pony, a total angel. But she’s started biting. I found this to be bizarre as she’s great with kids (even when she was a nervous wreck she was great with kids on the ground). So I checked the saddle they had for her (which we gave them in the summer when Star was overweight). It was huge on her, because she dropped weight I had to find out her narrow saddle. If they had checked the saddle and told me, I’d have sorted this out much earlier. Anyway Star kept biting, she just started to move a bit better from the saddle change. So, something else was bugging her, and it seems it’s the kid as she runs Star around constantly and is always screeching.

There is also the issue of the stiff legs and bad fitting saddle, I suggested to the loaner to get the physio out for at least one session as it’ll really help Star. Now it’s like £40 a session and she told me she didn’t have the money for that which I thought was fair enough and decided I was going to do it when I was next paid. But then she went and got a license to own a zebra?? That’s right, she wanted to buy a zebra. And then started to ask my mum and our friend if either of them would loan a share horse with her, OR if she could bring onto the land a 11.2hh loan pony for the kids? Like no? You can only come up at weekends, and even then it’s always late in the afternoon/evenings and you barely muck out so we’d end up caring for it, and you can’t afford one physio session what makes you think you could afford another pony?

There’s also the issue of Star’s coat. Normally Star is clipped all the time since she was a show pony, and it also helped manage her cushings. But last autumn, our clippers broke so we weren’t able to clip her. This didn’t bother us too much since the temperature was dropping anyway, and when the wet came we threw waterproof rugs on to keep her dry. However, as we’ve been approaching Spring, I’ve been essentially nagging the loaners to get her clipped as she’s going to start to overheat in that coat. It took like two months for her to actually reach out to someone to get her clipped and that was two weeks ago, and she still hasn’t worked out a date. Luckily, we made an emergency buy and bought some clippers due to what I found the other day.

When I was mucking out the field with Star and Amber in (and Amera now as Tara has recently started being stabled), I noticed Star’s eye was extremely gunky. So I dropped everything and took her (or dragged her since she’s now lost all enthusiasm since the loaners started) to the yard to clean up her eye and give her eye drops, and I also decided to take off her rug as it was clear it was too warm for her and the rug was pulling on her withers. Whilst she was with me I decided to give her a groom, and the one side was alright, but then I got to the next side and all of her belly was covered in matted fur. So, I ended up sitting on the floor cutting away at all of it. Then I found multiple bald patches. HUGE ones. like the size of my hands. And she was so so quiet. It’s clear that these patches and matted fur have developed over a few weeks, and they’ve still been tacking her up so I have no idea how they never noticed. My mum reckons that the kid only grooms the one side if that. 

In a state of panic, we called out the vet. Turns out, after the mini break out of lice we had last year (which me and my mum thought we got on top of), they didn’t treat the mares for lice. So amongst Star’s extremely thick cushings coat she had thousands of lice and they didn’t notice. It also explains how Amera’s suddenly become itchy again, I put it down to shedding. 

Anyway, the vet recommended getting her clipped asap and then applying some of this strong lice treatment and to treat all of our other horses again. She also did bloods, as for the past five years we’ve been naturally managing Star’s cushings but it’s clear that she now needs meds.

So since, Friday, I’ve been bringing Star in myself every day to treat her eye, groom her, feed her, and also applied some lice powder to keep her going until the clippers arrive (hopefully tomorrow), and she’s started to perk up a bit. Her eye is now pretty much clear, and yesterday when she finished her dinner she picked up the bucket between her teeth and threw it at me and then proceeded to bite the lead rope and pull at it. The fact she’s doing these small things again, shows she’s slowly getting back to her old self again. She was also a little git earlier and ran away when she realised I wanted to sort her eye out (but then realised she could only be fed if she had her eye done so let me catch her).

I do feel awful complaining like this, they are nice people (except for the 9 year old I honestly cannot stand her. I love the 13 year old, she’s a sweetheart but I’m always super close to strangling the youngest) and I do love the mother, and I do think they love the ponies. BUT I can’t let this slide. That is my pony that isn’t being cared for properly. And even if the bald patches had only suddenly developed in a couple of days, that doesn’t excuse the matted fur. My mum was livid and so was our friend on the yard with us (she owned Star from the ages of 9 months to 3 years old before she gave her to us). 

We’ve told them that Star can’t be ridden anymore because of her arthritis, which is pretty true atm. We’re hoping we can get her condition back and she can be shown in-hand again next year (this year is obviously going to be a no-go) as she loves going out. And maybe, if she does get better and the physio helps, I’ll lightly hack her out again to keep her busy. Whilst I’m tall, I’m still quite light (which I don’t look, I know, but I promise I’m under 10 stone, nearly 9 stone - I was 9 stone but I put on a bit of weight over winter), and through only riding her for years I know to move with her so she’s not put off balance. I just need her weight and condition back, but we’ll have to wait till all of that fur is gone so we’ll have a better idea on how to feed her.

We also have a new stable being built so Merlin can move out of her stable into his own, and she can be stabled with Merlin, Tara and Arthur. Then we can feed her as much as we want and have better control of her diet. We would put her own more grass but because of her lami/cushings we can’t risk it. 

I’m just hoping they return her tack soon as we told them she can’t be ridden but they still have her saddle, bridle, girth, saddle pads, new market exercise fleece and brushing boots. My mum and friend don’t quite trust them not to ride her, and tbh the way the kid kept taking on and off her bridle the other day and begging to ride, I don’t either.

If they do decide to stop loaning her and Amber, I seriously hope they return all of our tack. Whilst a lot of it is old, all of it together is still worth a fair bit (not so much Star’s narrow saddle, that thing is falling to pieces) and would be difficult to replace (or pointless since the mares are getting on). 

We do hope the novelty will wear off soon and they’ll move on, we don’t want to end on bad terms so we won’t do it ourselves (fingers crossed they’ll give me my tack back if they do leave)

Honestly though, I cried on Friday when I found out how Star is. She was right under my nose the whole time and I assumed they looked after her properly and left them to it, but I was wrong, and now I feel like a bad mom. I’m going to make up for it to her. That pony is going to be super pampered from now on (which she was before tbh, it was them that I stopped pampering her for as I thought they'd do that for them)

[katyavendel]

I let go of my lucky bird

I let go of my lucky bird

now I’m the one dancing

Singing

Flying

I know my worth

And its a zero gravity zone

Straight to the cosmos

Sending comets left and right

But I’m just smiling

I believe in no gravity

One, two

Lift off

I’m drawing time in the dust, in the sand

I’m Salvador Dali

Tie up my eyes

Hold my wings

And let me go

Draw me like a Michael Angelou

Sistine Chapel

Make me a masterpiece

I’m letting go

As Craig David says

I’m walking away.

Everyday’s a new day

I know michiavelli’s a little tense

Lol he could use a glass of wine and. A quick fuck

Maybe learn a thing or two from Rasputin.

He had his fuck’s and his nose up the Tsar’s business

Who knows maybe if we didn’t go to WW1 we’d still be a monarchy

Look, I’m just smiling

Just smiling

Learning how to operate in the zero gravity of my mind

No worries

Baby don’t worry , he said,

He lit up a zoot

And played me some Bob Marley

Smooth talking’ masterpiece

But all I wanna do is have a good time

I know Rousseau’s a bit psychotic

And Hobbes is a bit dark

But Locke’s alright

Hence why the playwrights copied him

Which playwrights?

Well, the constitution of the United States of course,

Didn’t Shakespeare say all of life’s a play

And we’re merely players and actors staring in different parts

In our own lives and others

And by the things that are occurring, it really does feel like a screen play

I mean, life, the constitution,

And the way things are occurring

In the world, of course

Read the UN’s sustainable development goals

And the Declaration of Human Rights

And then read you some Pride and Prejudice

And see, we’re not so different you see.

If music be the food of love, then play on , isn’t that

Hamlet

Lol, Romeo and Juliet, the Twelfth Night,

Trying to star in my own plays, playing Jane Eyre

And learning Chekov, but what’s the point.

No conspiracy theories

Take me to a cave, a cenote in Mexico, and let’s go swimming baby

Mexian Sky, send me the lyrics

Let’s dance them out loud.

Just plain sanity

Well, they do say Einstein was a little crazy.

Well yes, philosophy

Philosophizing on Locke, Hobbes, the Buddha, and whoever else comes to mind

Don’t tell me about Gandhi, mother teresa, nelson Mandela, and the way the changed the apartheid

Don’t tell me about the way he got through those 29 years

Tell me about your own Valley of the Shadw of Death, and how you got through it.

Don’t tell me about the theoritical equations of quantum physics and mechanics,

I know every theorem on quantum mechanics and the double slit experiemnt

I wanna know about the theorum’s in your mind

The equations you keep solving in your head about your next move

Please don’t tell about how Putin still poses anti’ gay rights

Tell me why it moves you.

Don’t tell me about the job you have

Tell me why you haven’t left

Tell have you ever let go

Have you ever danced underneath a sunrise

Or swam in an ocean at midnight

I have,

These things, it changes you

Have you ever wondered how small you are

And the peek of a summit

Or at the bottom of a valley,

I have.

Makes you realize we’re just a speck in the universe

I’m not a fan of Eastern philosophy

But it does have some sense

Believe in the tao

And just being still

Tell me about the occurrences of your own heart

Your own mount Everests you’ve conquered

Tell me about what brings your soul to life

Have you ever been so ecstatically happy, so ridulously joyous against all odds,

That you felt your heart was gonna burst right out your chest, tell me what that felt like

Did you ever point at a map, a single location, a random destination and just went spontaneously

No matter what.

I have, it changes you.

Have you ever integrated in a culture that’s not your own.

I have, and it changes you.

Have you ever travelled somewhere, just for a good cause, with people you don’t even know,

I have.

And it changes you.

Have you ever stared at the sky and wondered how these clouds

Have been here for millennia’s, I have, and it changes you.

Have you ever worked your butt off to become the best in your field,

I have, and it changes you.

You know Rumi said live as though the whole world’s rigged in your favour

Jesus said if you pray in my name and believe it shall be done for you

Do you believe? In the Lion of Judah.

That’s there’s better in store, a new day coming.

Ah, I know, you’re not into all this drama or philosophy,

You’re not into contemplation, or the purpose of life.

You’re not mundane, but you’re practical, one foot in, one out. All right, lets play a game.

Guaranteed I’ll beat you at chess.

How about Tony Robbins, or Zuckerberg, or your idol, Steve Jobs,

Well he woke up each day as if it’s his last, if that isn’t mindset, then I don’t know what is.

How about your programming, tell what is the wire, the neurocircuits that fire the electrons in your body.

Tell me how your neurons function. What is it that keeps you living, breathing, functioning, and moving forward.

Do you believe in a higher power, that maybe there’s more.

Oh, you believe in Elon Musk, well then baby boy, he’s still a hustler.

It’s mindset baby.

How’s your game?

Stop throwing all your bluff

And blow job techniques and rituals of seduction

Stop telling about how you got this girl or that in bed

Tell me, have you ever made love? So passionately, you thought your life had changed.

Was it real, or was it just a fling. Did you ever wake up to the gaze of a lover and know your whole world had just been made still. that

Somehow you’ve been given a taste of ecstasy , Heaven on Earth.

Of course, not.

Stop talking all your bluff, and why it won’t work. Tell me why it will.

Tell me how hard you’ll hustle to achieve this dream against all odds.

I’m so sick of you telling me about limitation and society’s perception.

i just want you to live.

And If you’re not in it, to live.  But exist. Then baby, we’re on different lanes.

I’m here to live against all odds.

And live so bravely and fearlessly, that when death comes, it trembles to take me.

Courageously and passionately,

But I’m not a hopeless romantic, and I’d never allow myself to be that way,

But I love life against all odds.

Can you?

Let’s go to a museum, lets look at Da Vinci

Let’s go to the Colosseum, let’s visit the Louvre again, how about Nigara falls, take me to a new cafe,

Lets explore, actually, take me to that little cafeteria by the beach, the one that lights up candles at night,

And has shitty seats, let’s get dirty and go swimming.

Throw some mud on my face.

Take yourself less seriously.

Let’s have a laugh.

And when we’re looking at Da Vinci somewhere in the National Gallery in London

let’s go crazy and tell me you can’t keep your hands off me

That it turns you on the way I look at those paintings

And you can’t wait to get me in bed.

lol baby can we have some fun.

I want my life to be a masterpiece

A masterpiece painting

I want to see the way you raise my kids

The way you look at them in the morning and tell them you love them

The way you play ball with our little man and the way you kiss our little girl on her way to school

The way you teach them how to skate

And how to love life

How you teach them how to ski

And how to go bunjee jumping

How their first sky dive was with their mum and dad

And how the first time they learned how to ride a bike was on our porch yard

I wanna see our little boy run around with a skate board

And never get into bad crowds even though he’s always at the skatepark

Cause he knows he can be honest with us

I want our little girl to have a strong side and know how to fight

And know how to weep beautifully without being judged

I want our kids to know how to be authentic

And never feel like they have to hide or compromise anything about themselves

I want them to be leaders in their high schools and the kids everyone looks up to

I want them to be super intellectual and beautiful

And have the world at their feet

I want them to be sensational

And know how to inhabit their body and

Be real.

Baby let’s have a date night

And run barefoot in the middle of the road like we did when we were 18

Lets have a Notebook moment and dance underneath the street lights

But we’re married now, and nothing’s gonna stop us from still living audaciously.

Lets have a Pirates of the Caribbean moment and live like explorers,

And shake the world, and live like tourists on. A borrowed earth on borrowed time

Because we’re all just visitors for a time being on this planet,

Let’s win the jackpot, the lotto, let’s reach the high score, if life’s nothing but a game,

Then baby, I’m competitive and I wanna reach the high score, the high life, the high love,

I don’t wanna wait till I’m 80 to know the worth of life and what really matters.

I wanna die, close my eyes, and know that I’ve really lived.

And I beg God, not to take me till I’ve lived and fulfilled my purpose on Earth.

And if you’re gonna share a life with me, then baby you better live.

Lets kiss while at war, in the middle of battle, because we’re warriors on the inside

Let’s have tattoos and weird cuts and be sexy parents

Let’s wake up at 4am and go for a run

Let’s work out insanely and eat healthily but have insane pasta cheat meals

Lets love on life, lets make love to life.

Let’s be audacious against all odds,

And live like warriors,

And be like titans in our business fields,

In our careers, lets be the best of the best.

baby, Let’s have a Tolstoy moment and be intimate in the middle a war zone

In the middle of an economic breakdown, lets learn to relax and invest,

And lets be the bomb at crypto currencies because that’s the future

Lets learn AI and know about Elon Musk and visit Sillicon Valley.

Lets get weed in Jamaica and chill with the Rastas

Lets meet all the Hindus and Buddhas and chill in in their temples,

And get these weird roses and say thank you.

Lets’ camp on Mount Everest.

And have our own helicopter.

Lets sleep in the forest, and wrestle the lions with love.

Lets see the truth of this earth.

Let’s learn to relax even in the midst of chaos

Let’s learn to dance in the rain

When was the last time you made out under the rain?

Let’s go.

Let’s learn to forgive and love out loud.

Let’s climb Kilimanjaro , and maybe go to the Batu Caves again, where a monkey stole my ice - cream the last time that I went.

Let’s learn about ancient rituals, the rural parts of Eastern France, lets go to the African war zones, poverty stricken villages in Nigeria, lets see

How they live, and how they praise the Lord.

I want to praise like an African.

Because you see, it’s just a dance for the Lord.

But I want to praise Earth like the Shamans and Native Americans.

Live like a child, learn like an intellectual

Blaze trails like a prodigy

Work like a hustler

Live like a lover

Pray like a saint

Love like a warrior

Dress like a queen

Think like I’m Plato

And love like I’m an aphrodisiac

I want to pray like a saint

And love like a lover

I want to play like a child

And work like a hustler

I want to praise like a queen

And dance like every dance is my last

The first time in the Colosseum, I wondered how tough it oughta be to live here, living like a tourist, buying souvenirs, yet a couple centuries ago,

This was the ground for massacre

Gladiators and chariots

and massacres

lions fighting back and forth

The human race always had a knack for violence

Yet we’ve always been suckers for true love

Even, Caesar himself couldn’t help himself, brought, Cleopatra to Rome against all odds,

Just to be massacred by his own men for bringing a woman like her.

They say Nefertiti was more beautiful.

But that’s not the point.

The Hunger Games, live.

On a battle ground.

And what about the Roman inquisition.

Death for the cross, did you know it was chaos.

Or how they cut of Marie Antoinette’s and Louis XVI’s head.

Or how they massacred the Romanov’s in Yekaterinburg

Or King Henry VIII’s wives.

how they suffered the fate of just being women

Or how the Latinos suffered under the arm of dictatorship and the invasion of foreign policy

How the Americans invaded their land

Did you know all of the modern foreign policy tore up the Middle East starting from the Iraq war in 1991

To Saddam Hussein’s death and 9/11

The foreign policy for gold and ivory

that places like Timbuktu could turn into ruins

Look, I’m not insane

I’m just saying, shit happens

But like Richard Branson, we should sail on the waves

Cross Guinness records, own our own private islands

And enjoy life while we can

Just live out loud you know,

Shit happens, but you can’t control it

You can control nothing but your own emotions, and actions, and heads

And as Bukowski said, you can only change one life at a time, all else is grandiose romanticism or politics

Or how the English cut off the heads of slaves

How the Europeans divided Africa like a cake.

How the Belgians, cut up Congo for Ivory in half.

All that’s nice, but now what?

Now you live.

You live against all odds.

And you live life so bravely, so audaciously

That life trembles to take you.

I’ll leave you with a poem and short story.

Firstly, read All The Way by Charles Bukowski, it will change your life .

Secondly, Google, Nero’s 100 Gladiators, and see how the 40 stood up for Jesus, and how the one ran to them,

And see these stories of courage and bravery and be inspired.

Because as the wild saying goes, “Here’s to the misfits and the crazy ones” - Rob Siltanen.