#and otherwise we have to use sick leave and then we cant use it when we're actually sick :(

[vagueiish]

what exactly is one supposed to do about accepting things you can't control when the thing you can't control is a person who is actively fucking over many people, including children?

[homkamiro]

I LOVE THE TF2 MLP AU SM. it gives me sm nostalgia to when i was a kid and i and everyone in the fandom made pony aus of franchises we liked- im so happy cringe is dead and tradition is alive 🥹

ALSO THE INFECTION AU POST. GOOD SHIT;!;!!!!!!!!!! gore and body horror are inseparable from (hopefully only the mature part of) the mlp fandom and i felt so giddy jumping for joy kicking my feet up seeing that it had a resurgence!! Your post of this au with your tf2 ponies was my introduction to it!!! Nature is healinggggg

That post is BOMB. WE GOT: 1) HEAVYMEDIC ANGST. 2) PYRO & ENGIE ANGST. 3) BOOTS & BOMBS ANGST. 4) DADSPY ANGST. 5) SNIPER ANGST. ITS GIVING💅🏽💅🏽💅🏽 and the way the disease spreads differently for all of them is so creative!!!!!! Engie wants to sever the infected body part but cant cus its on his back and he needs medics help for that (and med is way too far gone to do any operation), and scout doesn't want his wings severed even tho that would save him cus he still wants to fly!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

also soldier misinterpreting the request is so good. And pyro wanting to help but not being allowed to cus they'd try to burn engie. Demo drinking himself to death cus he cant handle seeing his friend in the state that he's in. Sniper disappearing cus he wants to be with his parents during this horrible time even tho they have a strained relationship. Spy wanting his son to live through this so much that he's planning to sever his wings himself. And heavyyyyyy. Heavy breaking his heart everyday still taking care of medic knowing he's going to have to kill the love of his life soon. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Anyways sorry for fuckin. Screaming in your asks and basically just repeating what you wrote sgjdjd. I just really love this au (and especially that comic with scout, medic and engie!!!) and the infection au post made me so nostalgic to the early days of the mlp fandom that the adhd went mental and i had to shout about it lol- feel free to not respond to this! Youre awesome! Keep doing you!!!!!!

(also youre really good at drawing gore????? Hello teach me pls)

WHAT A BIG FEEDBACK OHMYGODヽ⁠(⁠(⁠◎⁠д⁠◎⁠)⁠)⁠ゝ

Anyway I'm really super puper glad you liked my au!! I was a little hesitant to post it, since AU in AU sounds weird but I'm glad I thought otherwise - cringe culture should be dead!! Mix your hyperfixations it's good for your health!!!

AND AHHHHGGGGGH You noticed so many details thankyouuu🥺💗💗💗The best thing about this AU is that every ship and brotp can work so well in this story. Engie first helping Medic but then ending up being also infected??? Spy checking up on Engie and making him eat since he's too stressed to take a break??? Demo, Heavy and Pyro comforting each other after loosing their friends??? Spy and Scout both raging on Sniper for leaving like a coward??? Or maybe Heavy, as an earth pony, comforts Scout after he just got his wings amputated??? So many possibilities!!

Don't worry, I love when people are noticing all the details and just get,, really invested into my stuff, it really brings me joy and you made my day so much better!!🥺🥺I feel honestly a little insecure, since my pony designs and thoughts may not be the best, but I'm glad that so many people still like my mlp×tf2 stuff!! It's really endearing to know that finally something I like making is also likable to you!

About gore -- I have no idea😭I love gore but it's a pain to draw properly and scary, you'd need practice and references (I mostly use art references since yknow,,,real photos can make me sick)

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

this might be controversial but i feel like so many straight men arent even attracted to their sexual partners? they just use them to get off.

they feel entitled to a megan fox or porn star type (no matter what they themselves look like) but since they cant get that they settle for the next best thing because its better than nothing. thats why many men cheat as well, theyre just waiting for something better to come along.

this is such a widespread phenomenon theres even several sayings on it. in german: „loch ist loch“ which translates to „hole is hole“ meaning no matter where your dick lands at least you got off and „lieber widerlich als wieder nicht“ which (loosely) translates to „i‘d rather have sex with an ugly/gross one than no sex at all“.

sex for so many men is completely centered on putting their dick somewhere and ejaculating. many straight men dont love pussy, they dont necessarily desire their partners, they just see them as a means to an end, or otherwise they would put in actual effort to satisfy her as well. this is underlined by this cliché of women being so difficult to reach orgasm, when in reality, women often dont know how themselves because they internalise they cant come and dont get in touch with their own sexuality, and men dont bother trying.

ive heard from many female friends that they want sex more than their male partners because they always leave them unsatisfied. for most men sex is over when they come. and if they actually cared about and desired their partners they would ask how to satisfy her as well. dont get me wrong, orgasm isnt the end and center of sex, but there is a clear clear gap here.

and i think in longterm heterosexual relationships, women get so frustrated they just dont want sex at all anymore. this might also lead to the „my wife always has a headache when i want sex“ dumbassery because at some point women more or less consciously tell themselves im sick of being used by him to get off. i‘d rather have no sex than unsatisfying sex. then men use this to justify why they cheat and neglect their wives, well we dont have sex anymore so she isnt of as much value to me anymore. when its their own fault the wife checked out of their sex life.

this also explains why sex buyers are mostly male. they either feel entitled to fuck an attractive woman they wouldnt get without paying or they just want to get off and need a vessel.

i know i will get some idiot in the notes saying my jakey isnt like that. okay good for you. but what about his former sexual partners? and what about all the other women who have given up on sexual satisfaction by men out of frustration or maybe even think they are the problem? this is not a fringe phenomenon this is reality for many women who have sex with men.

and how would it be different? the whole sex industry is catering to men. and we have established that porn is seeping through the cracks into the mainstream. which only makes sense if most men start watching porn from a young age and carry what they learn there into the bedroom with unsuspecting women.

this shit makes me so angry! women deserve so much better!

[pastanest]

if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @rosieathena - thanks so much!! ♡

Spencer Reid x she/her!reader

Give Her Back To Me

Spencer never imagined experiencing pain such as this. His expression is vacant, his exterior appearing calm while a storm swirls inside of him. The storm that had started as sickness and worry, has transformed into a tornado of fire and rage that he can barely contain.

“Kid, you ready?” Derek questions warily as he finished gearing his friend up, rigged with a concealed mic and earpiece, and a gun, but none of the team needed to present Spencer with that. He had one on him from the moment he knew this was going to happen.

Dragging himself back down to earth and at a safe distance from his destructive thoughts, Spencer nods wordlessly, his eyes unable to focus on anything but the door at the end of the hall. He knows that as soon as he sees that monster’s face, the anger he’s managed to kept under wraps thus far will consume him. The team see no use in attempting to reach Spencer at this time, his mind is otherwise occupied, and as a result, their sorrowful smiles that Spencer doesnt see are accompanied by their reassuring pats on his back. That was his cue, and he’d never forgive himself if he waited a second longer before speed walking towards the door.

As soon as he swings the door open, Spencer’s eyes lock onto the monster himself, sitting at the only table, placed in the centre of the hall. The monster has a pleased smile on his face as he clasps his hands together, it’s unlikely to believe that - if there were any witnesses to this - others would see through the kind facade of this scum, but the layers of malevolence that sat beneath it were clear as day to Spencer Reid, and he is utterly repulsed. Fury bursts at the seams of the young man as he stares at the creature that is less than human, and he thunders over to the table, sitting down opposite the embodiment of evil. He cant believe that he’s sitting with the monster that had taken the love of his life and hidden her away somewhere.

“Spencer - I can call you Spencer, cant I? We know each other well enough by now. I have to say, Im disappointed, I was expecting you to tear open the skies above for your precious girl, but you wont even meet my simple demands to ensure that she remains alive?”

This man is responsible for the deaths of 12 women who were all previous kidnapping victims, Spencer’s girlfriend was to be ‘lucky number 13’, as this killer had branded her when he was nothing more than another unsub. It was at that point, things got extremely personal. This serial killer was worse than any other Spencer had read about or helped to arrest, purely because he had taken you, and the subtle threats in the monster’s words will do little to deter Spencer’s mission today.

Spencer leans forward in his seat, clasping his hands in front of him exactly as the killer has done, which causes the scum to sit back in his chair and remove his hands from the table. By no means was Spencer ever regarded as an intimidating man, not when compared to other members of his team at least, but on his own, and in this head space? He is a force to be reckoned with.

“You told me specifically to come here alone and leave my team blissfully unaware of this meeting, but I decided not to listen, because you see, I will do absolutely anything for her - that’s important, keep note of that - I will do anything for her, but for you? No amount of horrific backstory is going to make me pity you enough to convince me that I shouldnt submit you to every form of torture I know of until you tell me where she is, and I may not even stop then.”

The monster chuckles wickedly, as though he somehow believes he has even the slightest chance of survival. “You’re not a man of violence, Doctor Reid, the only research you do is to keep the peace.”

“That usually is the case, yes, but you seem to be under the misapprehension that I care for your continued existence. I have nothing to lose without her here, which means, after the very little consideration that was necessary, I have chosen to ignore the consequences of my actions. I’ve been reading up on nothing but torture methods from the moment you took her, that was six days ago. 20,000 words per minute and an eidetic memory, do you really want to see how creative I can get?”

As the venom drips from his own words, he cant help the painful tug at his heartstrings as he recalls the past six days. This is the longest time he has spent without you from the day you met, and it has been a period entirely consumed by anguish. The night you were taken, Spencer had dropped you off at your house after taking you out on a date. Every Friday was date night, as often as your work allowed it to be, and last Friday was as perfect as all previous dates with you have been. With every day that has passed since, Spencer has scolded himself constantly for not going into the house with you when you invited him in for a drink. He heard his own voice say “There’s nowhere else in existence I would rather be than here with you, but let’s save this for tomorrow night, when we’re not officially required to go to work the following day?” He had planned to ask you to move in with him the next night, he had an extravagant list of events in place, and he wanted to confirm them all again on the Friday night, he couldnt risk you hearing him talking on the phone. If he hadnt been so wrapped up in that, perhaps he would have noticed something was off about your home. If he’d just gone into your house, he could have saved you...

This all crosses Spencer’s mind in a matter of seconds, and he doesnt give the monster time to interject before he continues. “You’re going to have to shoot me in the face before you walk out of here, so Im going to give you the exact instruction that gives you the highest chance of avoiding the most painful end to your life that you can possibly imagine.”

The scum stares at the young doctor, flickers of fear reflected in his soulless eyes. But the man he is staring at could not be less afraid of him; taking the love of his life had not broken him as the monster had hoped it would, instead he became a man stronger than he had ever known, with immeasurable anger directing his every move.

It is that exact fury that causes Spencer to rise to his feet, and slam his hands down on the table in the most seething display of protective rage.

“Give her back to me.”

[geee-three]

how i imagine ena's instagram:

---

ena: (posting a photo of mafuyu) look at my lovely girlfriend

mafuyu, in photo: (literally ignoring her)

followers: 6 likes, no comments

---

ena: (posting a selfie, looks like shes about to pass out) i have been working on this acrylic canvas for closing on 47 hours i want to burn it

followers: 245k likes, 71k comments

in the comments:

airi, on alt: i am such a fucking lesbian i would kill for one chance with you

airi, on alt 2: i am in love with you.

airi, on private: girliepops you look great given youve apparently been awake for almost three days please sleep i promise its good 4 u

airi, mmj offical account: <3<3 follow my bestie!!

mizuki, n25 offical account: enanan either finish this piece or die trying i am sick of you yapping about texture or wtv

mizuki, on alt: oh my goooooood oh my fuckcing gooooodd i am going to kill myself if you dont kiss me rn

mizuki, on alt 2: would u date a tgirl asking for a friend

akito, private: please dont burn it dad would kill u. also do u want the raspberry or strawberry cheesecake im asking here bc u never respond to me otherwise

akito, vbs offical account: shes a bitch dont follow /j/j

kanade, n25 offical account: looks great, enanan!

mafuyu, n25 offical account: i love it.

mafuyu, own offical account: wow, when can we see the full piece.

mafuyu, private: amazing babe. now go to bed.

an, on alt: awooga 👀👀 looking respectfully

tsukasa, on private: Amazing! I wonder if we could use this as insperation for set design! 🌟

rui, on alt: @ mizuki alt, this is the girl u want to fuck right

shizuku, mmj offical account: Wow! I see why you like her so much, Airi! 💕💕

---

ena: (posting an intentionally slutty photo) im so lonely...

followers: 14k likes, 2k comments

in the comments:

mafuyu, private: ..? call me.

akito, private: could you not.

mizuki, n25 offical account: closing the app and going outside.

mizuki, private: send me the uncropped version 😘 ... jkjk... unless?

kanade, n25 offical account: must you post this on your n25 account?

rui, alt: @ mizuki alt, i presume you want to see this

mizuki, on alt: @ rui alt, IVE SEEN IT. IVE SEEN IT. i have notifications for her on.

akito, private: if youre lonely try leaving the house and getting bitches

airi, on alt: I AM GOING TO EXPLODE. AIJKFAENRCOUIYFDRTSYGHUJIAWOUIHSEHUJDLKEDHSKJLAKWESDX IM TOO GAY FOR THIS.

airi, on private: okay. bestie. i take it youre stuck on the piece? the compesition and outfit design are fabulous but i do recommend touching grass or maybe your girlfriend.

---

ena: (posting the final piece) wow! finally done! in [art exebition] on the 27th-4th!

followers: 17k likes, 2.5k comments

in the comments:

akito, private: do i have to go/j

airi, private: i'll be there bestie <3<3

mizuki, private: @ an private, @ akito private, yall are coming w me whether u like it or not. girls day out plus support ena!

akito, vbs offical: save the date bitches or youre banned from our shows/j/j

mizuki, n25 official: cant wait to see you there! if you actually decide to leave the house for this lmao

mafuyu, private: buying tickets for me and kanade right now.

[orchidyoonkook]

personal

Hi, need to scream. Tumblr seems to listen best. can and please feel free to ignore.

okay so essentially my job has removed all of the things I use and need in order to be able to do my job with my mental disorder. my mental DISABILTY. that i was honest with them and told them about at my freaking trial shift. that i told them i needed certain things in order to do well. nothing drastic. but things that helped me significantly with my performace.

SOOOOOOOOO i am now severely struggling at my job because they've taken those away cuz they were 'annoying' or 'in the way' or 'clutter'. like. im not even leaving shit every where. It's like, maybe at most 3 sticky notes? (for example) and they're written just for me, like just so i can have a list of things i can do and know to go back and look on when i need a task because ive finished the one i was doing. but then my boss reads them and critiques them as if they're for everyone. or says 'okay yeah but we do that every day so i dont see why you have to write it down. you should know to do it by now' LIKE BRO. I forget to put deodorant on some days because of said mental disability. it's something i do and have done every day since i was 12 or 13. thats 12 years. and i still forget some days just cuz my brain wasn't working properly.

AND now due to this they have put me, one of the staff currently with more seniority than 3 other staff, down to one shift a week, while every one else is full time or heavily part time.

In march i was full time and kicking ass, I was the fastest employee on my tasks, i was doing great, the customers loved me and now that all of my things that i need in order to function have been removed for everyone else's aesthetic preferences, I'm suffering, and most likely being silently fired.

like... what do i do with that. I can do my job, with my accomadations - that arent that many btw - i dont expect them to move mountains for me. But dude. I hate this feeling so much because i'm capable, theyve seen me be capable. i was for 1.5 years. like i want to be good at my job. I like and enjoy being good at my job. i've told them that. I want to do good but my ability to be good is being derailed, and i just get told to try harder, just work harder, impress your boss with how hard you work -> for minimum wage, i might add.

and everyone is like "just get a new job, just apply for more jobs you're not applying for enough, literally just apply for everything, even if youre not qualified" and i cant just do that, due to said disability. there are jobs i am unable to do. so i have to be a lil picky otherwise i'll be right back where i am now. and ive been looking for months and applying for months with no luck - no one ever responds. why list jobs if you dont respond?????

it's getting to the point where im debating opening up drawing commissions or writing commissions, or something that i can make to earn a little extra cash here and there while i get over this transition period. And that's a big deal for me because i don't do commissions. I do my art for myself or for when i want to share something i've made already, like the UTWT books. Hell, I did a tattoo design for a friend on here that i put easily 40 hours into, and i felt guilty that they wanted to pay me for it because i'd asked them for the idea. Like, i don't do commissions. so for me to be considering it is really telling for me.

anyways. this is a bajillion words long now, but i already feel better. and I'm posting it in the middle of the night in hopes that the void just consumes it and never lets it see the light of day.

If you read this, thanks and sorry for the bummer of a post. This isnt a pity party or a poor yoon thing. I'm not looking for comfort or any of that. this is a 'i don't have a therapist and my friends and partner and family are sick of hearing me bitch, when i havent been able to fix it in months despite trying my best too' thing. so yeah..

i hope the new year brings me something good.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOOO truly any mention of the Itoshis from us will have that tone HAHA

LMAO Manifesting Mira seabird moment fr!!! Trust you just have to get a sandwich and wave it around on the beach it shouldn’t be hard for a bird to come steal it and then BAM you let fate handle the rest

HAHAHAHA FR like you can’t be TOO nice please because idk I think for me a lot of my close relationships involve a good amount of like friendly banter at least like if I did that with Isagi I’d just feel bad because I could be like “LMAO you’re so dumb” and he’d take it genuinely and be like “omg I’m so so sorry” like NO!!!!

No that’s also my logic HAHA like at least if I forget stupid things I can just stop by a market or something and grab another!

FR first time I saw it I was definitely like wtf this is absurdly funny HAHA but real like especially when they’re the same people deducing villains like Sukuna or geto to “just a silly guy” or “my babygirl” but anyways….

LMAOOOO yeah just some random thoughts yk maybe a teardrop mole….183 cm…..has a regional accent…..just random thoughts…

LMAOOO BRO I was racking my brain trying to come out with something interesting and not overused and inadvertently made some half crack ideas HAHAHAH I’m ngl I’m really sold on the Barou one now because I can just imagine him being like “why the fuck is there snow here I just cleaned it” and maybe his sisters who don’t know better are just like “oh yeah the nice lady next door was shoveling too” and he’s like oh so it’s THAT mf……I can fr just see him ringing the doorbell (not banging on the door because he’s still relatively respectful) and the door swings open and he’s like “why the fuck is YOUR snow on MY driveway” LMAOOOO the Karasu one just came to me in a vision while I was mid typing I think I was just pondering about like lowk bestie yuki and then it hit me….omfg stupid Karasu who ends up playing wingman too I CANT that would actually be such a rollercoaster all the mishaps and misunderstandings that would happen would fr be hilarious….the random dates with others too omg I’m ngl I kinda live for fics that incorporate other characters in sometimes too like I love being immersed in the universe….imagine on top of that at some point Karasu is running out of options like he’s gone through all the main dudes who he’d think have any sliver of rizz like he’s throwing chigiri Otoya Barou and even Isagi or maybe he’s thinks y/n is just playing and that she actually likes yuki…but at some point he’s like there’s no fucking way and you THINK he finally gets the message but he’s like “you like hiori??? Yk he doesn’t touch grass right” Cue the facepalm but y/n goes anyways and ends up ranting about Karasu to hiori since hiori has known Karasu the longest LMAO and they become friends too and y/n gains like, another semi wingman HAHAHAH

Poor Yukimiya I think it’d be so funny to see him like on his knees ripping his hair out of frustration like facepalming every other hour like these two are so fucking dumb…..

AIRPORT TRIP BUT OMGGG NOO MOTION SICKNESS……tbh I think I built up a resistance to motion sickness after kinda just like…brute forcing my way through the ride LOL but I’ve noticed not looking out the windows can help…..maybe take some Advil if you have any? Or eat a mint sometimes I’ve noticed something minty helps too!! but YAY I’m glad you liked them LMAO I leave them in your capable hands….always down to leave more ideas that was fun HAHA

-Karasu anon

facts the ONLY exception is seabird sae he’s bae we love him otherwise we have to keep those boys humble ☝🏻 can NOT cave 😩

HAHAHA PLSSS i’ll start playing seagull calls on my phone beforehand just to really set the mood…a sandwich is a small sacrifice to make for my summer romcom moment ☝🏻 the moment i see a mf from osaka with a smirk that takes up half of his face i’m TACKLING that man idec how many sandwiches it takes i will not let him get away 😟‼️

i love bantering with people i love but ALSO i am such a gossiper about other people!! so like while i can easily envision talking shit w nagi (even though he isn’t exactly the easiest to banter with) isagi just feels too nice he’d be like “let’s not be hateful 😔💔” LMAOAOA

tbh idr mind if people love villains or whatever because sure i see the appeal but when they act like they did no wrong or deserve better THAT’S what gets me!! like yes geto was a product of his environment but also he reacted in an irredeemable way and is by no means a good person for it 😔 what REALLY gets me is when people blame characters like yuki tsukumo for choices that GETO made!! like i’m sorry but her having a scholarly and theoretical conversation with a peer by no means makes her the entire cause of his downfall…SO MANY comments on pi about how they hate yuki because “she’s the reason why geto became evil” it pisses me off so bad because it’s misogynistic honestly!! like the woman who barely knows geto and is not at all responsible for him and was just trying to make conversation (she wasn’t even there to see him she wanted to talk to gojo!!) is more responsible for geto’s behavior than geto himself?? when GETO made the choice??? ughhh tbh i liked geto as a character but there’s a certain kind of fan that he has and they all annoy me sm

THE BAROU SNOW ONE WAS MY FAVORITE I CAN JUST IMAGINE IT BEING LIKE A ONE SIDED PRANK WAR?? like barou thinks reader is fucking w him meanwhile she’s just living her life and being normal 😭 maybe i would have to write some scenes in barou’s pov just to show how he’s like INFURIATED he is whereas reader is just like “my hot but lowkey scary neighbor keeps coming over is he into me 😳”

THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING like he starts off w the typical suspects (reo, otoya, barou, isagi) and every time it doesn’t work out he gets more and more desperate…throws nagi and bachira at her but still no dice LMAOAO like bro is absolutely LOST because his analysis skills are saying the reader likes SOMEONE on the team but he can’t figure out who for the life of him?? meanwhile yukimiya is SCREAMING like my man is in PAIN 😔 karasu tries to set him up with the reader and that’s when he finally and truly snaps 😫 i truly think the misunderstandings would be so funny and silly…the bllkers are as confused as the reader about what is going on because why does karasu keep dragging them to hangouts with yukimiya’s childhood bff and then randomly disappearing??

i had some mint gum but tbh it didn’t help 😔💔 i get migraines around my menstrual cycle which make me dizzy and nauseous so even though I don’t normally get motion sick it’s really hitting today 😓 i’m on birth control for that and the ovarian cysts i have and it’s def helping but still not perfect by any means 😪 oh well i will be in switzerland soon and that’s all that matters!! we are boarding in a couple of minutes so i will disappear shortly and then be back once we’ve landed 🤩

[bhaalsbabe]

Gotta vent real quick

My mother "asked" me to do something for her. I said yes, but I'll do it my way. She didn't like that, it had to be done her way. So she then "asked" me again ("I'm asking you, please, to do this for me"). So I tell her, "no - if I can't do it the way that's more convenient and comfortable for me, I won't do it for you. Unless this is a command rather than polite request, and I cant refuse". So she then pulls the money card - "Fine, so I'll leave from work early since Ada refuses. I guess I'm only useful for her when it's about paying for cats' vet care". I call her out for trying to guilt trip me and then we argue back and forth. Except she just ignores any critique directed her way, and then she even tells me "to stop poking my nose into it (the original request)" ( she said it in a rude way, with a swear word, but it doesn't have an English equivalent). So we argue a bit more, she tries to pull the victim card ("I've had bad days lately") which, fair, but literally all of us had, since 3 out of 4 of our pets are sick, one of them potentially with cancer. But I guess she can't see that, since the world revolves around her, and everyone must do as she says, otherwise we're terrible ungrateful children.

I'm also slightly annoyed at my sister for jumping in the middle of it [when i was expressing that I'm hurt by mother for, once again, using finances (that she gave me freely, I asked her and she could've said no, I would've just used my food money instead) and cat's health against me] and saying that we stop arguing. Easy for her to say that, when she spent last decade treating mother like shit and arguing with her all the time irl (this happened in chat). I bet that if she swapped places with me, she would defend herself too and call mum out.

Well, what a shitty way to end the day. And now mother will treat me worse for like a week so I can regret my actions and not refuse her again in the future. This just keeps happening, every damn time I set boundaries for myself.

[prettypierrot]

i drank a watermelon monster and now i feel so shakey and jittery it usually doesnt effect me like this i dont know why it is now

everytime i saw i feel my knees shake and i need to sit again but i dont wanna just sit

everytime i move at all i feel weird like jittery and i dont like it and sometimes i just be twitching for no reason

i put up like 8 small posters and i have more but cant stand cause it feels weird so now im just lying in bed kicking my feet and watching youtube

also my mama made me pizza but i feel sick and only ate one slice. im assuming i feel sick and tummy ache from monster

omg i just remember i was talking to my bff cause i was so excited to talk to him and i enjoyed it alot i think that was also from the monster cause otherwise i wouldnt have texted him but i just missed him suddenly and was very excited to talk and i had fun for the 40 or so mins if speaking which isnt long for us but he had to leave so its okay

its strange cause when i was talking to him i almost asked him to be my boyfriend and im glad i didnt cause i mightve regretted it but i did feel very lovey i think, like i wanted to tell him how much i lived him but instead told him that im so glad we are friends

omg and i painted my nails but only one hand ill post some pics of eveything after this once im done typing

im thinking since this is alot that i will screenshot it and write it in my journal cause ive really been wanting to add more in it cause i have pages with halloween stickers on them and i want them DONE so i can put new stickers on more pages cause i spent 22 buckaroos on stickers and stuff and i have been waiting to use them

recently live has been so good and ive been feeling very grateful for everything i hope things stay like this and maybe even get better!! im veey much feeling the thanksgiving spirit im giggling thats so corny but it true

i just got a notif from spotify i think IT MIGHT BE SPOTIFY WRAPPED OMG IM SO EXCITED OKAY IM DONE FOR NOW I GOTTA TAKE A LIL PEEK BYEBYEE

[k0kichiimagines]

its so insane to me when i see certain women say that period leave is somehow offensive i am begging you stfu i would kill for period leave dont ruin it for the rest of us because you dont want it 😭😭

[bloodycassian]

Rhys x reader - reader is a winter court runaway who the bat boys find almost freezing to death. longer! - I'm also interested in writing for the crescent city universe if that's something you guys would like. absolutely no Ruhn x Bryce though. It made me uncomfy reading it!! what did yall think about the weird (IMO) tension between Ruhn and Bryce?

Cold seeping into your bones, the dark figures looming above didnt comfort you into the sweet embrace of sleep that you wanted. Sleep or otherwise would be welcome at this point. You could no longer feel your body, besides the painful shuddering your core would occasionally give.  "No-" You heard a deep voice snarl. Then there was ripping, and rustling among the dead leaves on the ground. The sickly sweet smell of their decay made you grimace further.  "We have no time Rhys. We need to go now." A gravelly voice said calmly.  "I cant-" There was gasping and suddenly you were being lifted, warmth caressing under your knees and around your back. You sighed into the relief the welcome heat brought.  Rhysand's legs quivered as he watched his brother pick you up. His eyes brimmed with shock and tears. His mate. How could the cauldron be so brutal? To make a Winter Court noble his mate. To make such a politically powerful family's heiress his. His partner. His everything. A threat to Kallis' throne was his person. His tether that now speared him to the spot Cassian held him in. His heart yearned, wide and open and firey with rage. He had no doubt Kallis himself had a part in this. Azriel's shadows were warm against your skin.It contradicted every rumor you'd ever heard about the spymaster killing in a cold beautiful way. Your lips chattered as you tried to form words. "Who-" You attempted, but were shushed by the male carrying you.  The last thing you remembered before passing out was the bite of wind and a sound of branches breaking under someone's heavy footfall.  + Rhysand wallowed. He didnt care if he looked like a simpering love sick teenager.. But his brothers were concerned. He hadn't eaten or seen you since he had felt that bond snap into place. His chest constricted at the very thought of you. He flew, in the dead of night. Once he had made sure you were alive and stable he just left, flying and flying without a purpose or a place in mind. He didnt doubt that Azriel knew about it.  The one time he landed, on a high peak overlooking the cool city of Winter Court...he did not get up again. He let the cold winds beat him, until he could no longer feel his toes, his feet. He sat until the overcast skies began darkening. Contemplating if he could kill Kallis himself or wait for you to decide what to do with him. His teeth yearned to tear out his throat himself.  Kallis was the only foreseeable reason Rhys could think of that would have explained why his mate had almost died at the hands of this merciless barren land. There was no way the noble family had just let you run off and... Rhysand shuddered - the thought of the family even being alive hitting home. Azriel hadn't found anything but a bloody trail that night.  His heart raced. A sudden feeling of anxiety loomed over him. He shot into the sky as fast as his stiff body and cold wings let him. Your hand was still wrapped in bandages, and you were sure your hair was a mess as the two wraiths doted on you. They had said nothing, even when you had pleaded with them. They had merely stopped and gotten the healer. She was insisting on using her magic on your neck and head when darkness shaded the room, and there were hurried footsteps up the stairs. The healer shook her head and opened the door, where night and shadows itself stood, staring at you with wide violet eyes filled with stars. Your heart hummed in your chest, and your head spun at his beauty. You knew him without ever meeting him, like a switch you were suddenly - secure. More at home than you'd ever felt in your cold homeland. The breath was stolen from you. His lips parted and he stepped into the room, "May I stay?" He asked, voice raw and charming.  The healer scoffed, returning to your side, placing her hands on your blanketed legs. You nodded at him. "Only if you tell me what is going on." he nodded back, glancing suspiciously towards the healer. "Where is Madja? I sent for her yesterday." He seemed irritated, his jaw clenching. "Madja is still working on your brother after what you did to him." She said in a clipped tone. Rhys' face went a shade red at that. Regret bloomed in his stomach. He sighed, sitting on the floor at the end of the bed burying his head in his hands, exhausted. Your head spun. "There are no stories of you having a brother." You said. His figure moved with a slight chuckle. "Brother in a metaphorical sense. Though they may as well be." He let out a long breath, unhiding his face and pulling a hand through his hair.  "He tried getting me to see reason while I was being...well.. unreasonable."  There was a small tug on your chest towards him, as if he was calling you to be on the floor with him. You wanted to. You wanted to tell him that you wanted to join him too. But you were bound to the bed by exhaustion and the bandages covering you. The healer placed her hand on your knee, a coolness thrumming down your leg into your foot. She tisked in disapproval. "Now you being unreasonable has this one refusing to let me heal her head. Do something about this your highness, I dont believe theres anything wrong but we must be abso-" Rhysand cut her off by holding a single finger up.  She scoffed and left the room, closing the door a bit too hard for normal. You smiled slightly at that, glad to be rid of a healer even for a few minutes.  He blew out a  long breath, avoiding eye contact with you. "What do you remember?" He asked you, eyebrows knitting together. He stared at his feet, like he was trying to piece together a puzzle.  You knew what he meant. You cringed away from the few memories. "It was cold.." You started, shying away from the tingling in your foot at the memory. "Why wont you let the healer try to help?" He asked, not judgemental but more curious than anything. He got up with a tired grunt, and pulled a leather armchair beside you.  Your heart raced at the closeness he presented. You didnt want to imagine what you looked like. Even with Fae healing you knew the tips of your ears may have still been blue from the cold of the wilderness of winter court. "I dont need it. I dont... want the help. I dont see a point to it." You tried your best at a shrug, your arms protesting.  "Your family..." He began. Your heart fluttered, cheeks heating. A headache bloomed in your temples as your brain grasped for memories of the night. Rhysand waited patiently, studying your face. They had screamed and threatened to cut you out of the family dynasty if you refused the marriage. Broken glass and running. No shoes, pain in your lungs from the cold air.  "My sorry excuse for a family left me to die." You growled once you felt steady enough to say.  Head pounding, you took a drink of water from the night stand. "I was meant to marry Kallis' oldest, but when I refused they took issue with it."   "And they tried to kill you.. so you ran?" He asked, his voice strained.  "Not exactly... I cant...." You rubbed your aching head. It felt like you were sick, like you needed a cold bath. Your stomach roiled with the pain.  Concern took over Rhys' features. "I can help." He offered, his hands fisting in the blankets, like he wished he could rip the pain away from you.  "Do whatever" You groaned, sinking back into the pillows. "I dont care anymore." You wanted so badly to just let your body give out in those woods. Let some snow bear find you and be a snack for its cubs. You had no family, no home.. and no status any longer. Your mind seemed to be coated in a dark blanket, relief flowed through you. For the first time his eyes were locked with yours when you looked up. The magnificent depth of them was astounding. His dark brows pulled together, studying your features. There was that tug towards him again. You picked up that thread and tugged back, lazily.  He blinked, taking a sharp breath. Confusion rolled through you, then his voice ripped through your mind like an echo. "I've been waiting for you."

[stopeatingwhales]

pregnant x damon albarn

MORE DILF DAMON. this made me want to slowly die I cant it was so cute to write

Pairing: 2014 damon albarn x reader

Warnings: none :D

Word count: 1.341

Requested by anon <3

༉‧₊˚✧

The world around me seemed as if it was spinning at a pace more sporadic than lightwaves as I attempted to focus my gaze on the two faint red lines, which had begun to illustrate themselves on the plastic stick, increasing it’s coloured prominence after each second had passed. Those same two lines, coincidentally, provided me the answer to all the dilemmas that had been enthralled and cultivated over the past week: the consistent queasy feeling that encompassed my limbs every moment I tried to fix my body in a standing position, my guts instantly being triggered by the sudden movement that I would go and throw up - said to be morning sickness, the irritable craving for any little thing that cropped up into my brain for less than the sum of a minute, resulting in me forcing my boyfriend to journey to the corner store, purchasing the specific one that I had wanted, otherwise I would’ve gotten all fussy and made him return back to get it; as well as the horrible mood swings that would occur, provoked by the sudden increase in hormone levels displacing my demeanour constantly, remaining me a mopey mess… It was simply a fever, a cold, a horrible catch of influenza, though as soon as the realisation washed over me that I had skipped the supposed due date for my period, the ideation dawned on me, which was answered in the only way possible - a pregnancy test. Managing to get my friend to purchase one for me as I was bedridden for days on end, proving my physical inability to do simple household tasks myself due to the morning sickness that I had developed, I avoided telling Damon about my speculations, merely because I didn’t want to get his hopes up. The talk of bearing another child had been levitating in the empyrean of our conversations for a short while, mainly beginning as simple jokes, which would then mature into the statement ‘Imagine raising a child…’, though no conversations had ever progressed into concluding such dreams of doing so.

“Hiya love,” Damon said, instantly turning his head to the door as he set his eyes upon the sight of me strutting into the living room, managing to walk around without the nauseating feeling erupting in my throat for the first time in hours. He thought that I was asleep, the only times the sounds of my shuffling around audible was when I had headed to the bathroom - the place in which I had found out the newfound news that had been growing inside my lower stomach. He stood up slowly, reaching my side as he provided assistance to make my way over to sit on the sofa, beside where he was sitting, engulfed in whatever was shown on the television. Once we sat down, and he was fully sure that I was comfortable, he sat down beside me, where he had previously sat before I entered the living space. Admiring his features, I noticed that he looked tired, exhausted even; he was working extremely long, tiring hours at the studio as the release date for his upcoming solo album - tonight being his only free evening. My heart panged in my chest for the short period that my eyes laid on him, exhaling slightly as I realised that returning home to his partner being in such a temperamental state perpetually, would affect him more than he would care to admit, at all; he would be adamant that I hadn’t been making him feel worse, though by the look of his drained features, I might just have. “You alright?”

Nodding my head, I directed my vision to stare at the random episode of some antique show that had been displayed on the television. “Why on earth are you watching this?” I laughed, grabbing the remote to switch channels to something more interesting.

“There’s nothing to watch!” he groaned, though it sounded more like a chuckle laced with slight annoyance towards how bland the channels had been today. Deciding upon leaving the television on the news, not caring excessively over what was playing, I turned my head to fixate my stare on Damon, our gazes meeting. His piercing blue eyes burned straight through mine as if to telepathically question upon why I hadn’t simply called him over to our bedroom, the fatigue embraced on my features almost foreshadowing the thought that from my projected abnormalities, another thing had been plaguing my mind; something else was going on.

Stretching my arms out in the air, I filled the silence that had collapsed between the pair of us, the only sounds audible echoing out from the television speakers. “I think I know why I’ve been feeling so sickly.” I mumbled, my body relishing in the sensation of my limbs, once aching in outright pain from being stuck in one position under my duvet for many hours on end, finally fulfilling its use in movement.

“Because of your fever?” he replied, a small laugh escaping his throat at what had seemed to be such an obvious answer to the question that had been floating in the atmosphere of our minds. For all Damon knew right now, was that I was poorly with what could only be concluded as a monstrosity of a fever, and was being far too dramatic at the thought that I was going to die constantly from the overwhelming waves of heat that had kept flushing over my skin.

As I shook my head slightly, a miniscule grin casted on my lips as I set my mind on speculating his reaction to me mentioning the ultimating news that I had come across simply a couple of minutes ago. “It’s not that…” I trailed off, my voice shrinking in volume as I allowed my right hand to rest on my lower stomach, patting it lightly, giving the notion that it had something to do with my stomach. My eyes stayed focused on Damon’s expression as I watched his eyes squint together for a short while, confusion outcased across his features, my smile widening at how oblivious he was being.

The beam that perched on my lips simply grew Damon’s puzzled state even more, until realisation washed over him, to which his eyes widened, his head merely cocking to the side as he wondered whether it was appropriate to ask or not. “You’re not…”

Water began to softly brim my eyelids as my smile enlarged, exposing my teeth as I managed to lift my body and straddle Damon’s lap, taking ahold of one of his hands, so soft to the touch, lifting my shirt up slightly as I placed his hand on my lower stomach - the place in which our future child was inhabited. Disbelief poured over his expression; he was left speechless as he awaited such confirmation toward his suspicions. Placing my lips gently onto his, I held our bodies in a warm, slow, passionate kiss, goosebumps coming alive on my forearms as I allowed the salty liquid to escape from my eyes as they were closed shut. “I’m pregnant.” I said, detaching my lips away from his as I marvelled at his face lighting up with joy, his arms embracing me in another hug. Upon finding out that the option was attained, I couldn’t have been more ecstatic. There was a life growing inside my belly, a life that had been formed from such passion and affection shared between the person that I had loved most, somebody that had provided me the knowledge that you can never stop loving somebody, and the love that you have for them, grows every single day.

Both his hands began tucking fallen strands of my hair behind both my ears, eventually holding my face in his hands as I melted into his touch, his thumbs softly swiping against my now tear-stained cheeks as he brought my forehead forward to brush against his. “You are going to be the best mother in the world.” he stated, his lips connecting with mine once again.

[leerongrong]

❥ 𝐍𝐂𝐓 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 – sending them the wrong text

⌜ mark ⌟

mark watches from the corner of his eye as you tap at the screen of your phone, a shy smile present on your face. he's waving his hand side to side, trying to get your attention, only to pout when he fails to. he perks up the moment his phone dings, opening it to see multiple messages from you.

[11:45] you sent a message.

i think the sun's starting to get to me

[11:45] you sent a message.

the more i look at him the more he shines

[11:46] you sent a message.

nvm that I CANT TAKE MY EYES OFF OF HIM

[11:46] you sent a message.

did you see him smile when he saw watermelon? the smile he had while eating them :((

[11:46] you sent a message.

and not to be nsfw but the more i look at him,,, the hotter he looks??? is that even possible????

[11:46] you sent a message.

he was so small so cute when we first met in 5th grade

[11:47] you sent a message.

fuck i think im in love with him i think im in love with mark

[11:48] you sent a message.

i think im in love with my bestfriend

he started off confused, eyes flitting from the first of your texts, slowly dragging themselves to the end. his small pout slowly turns into a smile, to a full blown grin when they finally reach the last of them, when they finally reach his name.

"holy." mark started off with mumbles, his head turning from you to his phone so fast he might get whiplash. "she- she's in love with me.." the farther he gets through his sentence, the louder he becomes, catching not only peoples attention, but also yours. "she's freaking in love with me!"

your furrowed eyebrows is the first thing he sees, running across the pool and straight to you, barreling into you and accidentally sending the both of you into the water. you're both spluttering when you break through the water's surface, your face an expression of disbelief while his is of pure joy.

he doesn't regret pulling you down with him, sealing your lips in an underwater kiss that tastes of watermelon and grape ice cream.

⌜ renjun ⌟

the soft glow of your phone disturbs renjun. the only source of light in the otherwise dark theater room, playing the movie you begged him to watch with you. he's rolling his eyes in annoyance, still gripping the half finished popcorn, hands coming back and forth from his mouth towards the salty snack.

soon after, the soft tapping of your fingers against the screen takes his interest off the movie. renjun's eyes sneak a peak, slightly leaning his body against his head rest so he could take a better look at what has your full interest.

[19:06] you sent a message.

leee jenooo

[19:07] you sent a message.

as cheesy as it sounds,,, the movie's right in front of me but the one view i want to see is him

[19:07] you sent a message.

i know its stupid to say but i just feel...happy whenever im around him

[19:07] you sent a message.

it doesnt matter where we are it freaking doesnt matter what we're doing and it FREAKING DOESNT MATTER WHO'S THERE WITH US

[19:08] you sent a message.

all i know is that when im with him im happy

[19:08] you sent a message.

it doesnt matter if it's all gray and blue hes the splash of color and thats all i need..

[19:09] you sent a message.

im all soft for him like this,, i just wish i could tell him 🙃

the slight ringing in his ears should worry him, along with the excessive warmth that's suddenly spreading through his body, face, and ears. the slight twitch of his fingers should too, as if his body is reacting in a way only you can make him, as if it's finally accepting the pull.

the clearing of his throat startles you, making you instinctively hide your phone in the corner of your seat. your eyes zoom in on his reddening face, leaning in closer to make sure, amidst all the darkness. "renjun? what's wrong?" pressing the palm of your hand to his burning forehead. "do you have a fever? junnie, you should've told me."

renjun's still stubbornly looking at the screen, taking a deep breath and doing a countdown before he takes your hand in his, intertwining the two as your eyebrows furrow.

he starts leaning in, coming closer and closer to your face that it makes you lean back in your seat, trying to look away from his face. "i think this isn't a good date," he whispers, "how about we go on an official one tomorrow?"

the wide cinema screen is the audience to the scene renjun puts on, leaving a peck at the edge of your lips as shy smile spreads on his.

⌜ jeno ⌟

[09:08] you sent a message.

i love it when jeno smiles

[09:08] you sent a message.

i mean :: have you seen his smile? those pretty cresent moon eye smiles that's just so freaking cute it makes me want to kiss him all over

[09:09] you sent a message.

and not be weird or anything,,, but his height is perfect. imagine running into his arms and just being all warm because we all know jeno gives the best hugs 😫

[09:09] you sent a message.

is it weird to think about hugging and snuggling with your best friend? to think about how pretty his smile is and how you want to kiss away his cute pout?

[09:10] you sent a message.

yes? no? mark, i think i'm in too deep here..

the minute jeno reads your texts, he's out the door. he doesn't care about the thunderstorm going on outside, he doesn't listen to his member's shouts about bringing an umbrella. all that's running around his mind is you. all he can think about is how he desperately wants to hug you in his arms, so tightly he knows you're going to start to whine. all he wants to do is to kiss you. after 5 years of pinning over you, he finally has the chance to.

he's met with water the moment he runs out in the rain, not caring about the thunder and wind that's pelting down his body. he's soaking wet when he reaches your front door, drenched in water as he knocks and is met with your cutely confused face.

"lee jeno!" your eyes are as wide as saucers, quickly starting to tug him inside when you see his condition. "what are you doing you idiot?! you could get sick!"

he doesn't give you much time to talk (or to start hitting him for being stupid) when he puts his hands on your cheeks and pulls you into a kiss, the atmosphere reminding him of two lovers running through the rain to see each other in movies.

the cold and fever he gets the next day is worth it, especially with your cuddles and chicken soup to get him through the day.

⌜ haechan ⌟

[07:10] you sent a message.

i may be in love with donghyuck

[07:11] you sent a message.

i think he's just the most sweetest, funniest, dorkiest guy with the most perfect smile and laugh

[07:11] you sent a message.

the one who brights up my day (ironically), my full sun

[07:12] you sent a message.

but love is such a fickle thing <3

he wouldn't notice at first, too busy goofing off with chenle and mark, until jeno points out his phone buzzing and lighting up with notifications. the biggest smile would light up his face, so bright and wide, and he just freezes in his place, not even moving or looking away from his phone that it makes the others worry.

starts jumping and squealing, shoving his phone into the other's faces to show off your text when he finally breaks out of his stupor, heart beating so fast renjun tries to make him take deep breaths before he passes out.

doesn't care when his members tell him to carry out with caution, that it could be one of your usual pranks. all he can see is you and him, going on dates and cuddling. after all, it isn't every day your bestfriend (whom you have feelings towards) since diapers confesses.

[07:44] haechan sent a message.

so you have a crush on me😏

[07:44] haechan sent a message.

i'm not surprised, i AM a natural charmer

[07:45] you sent a message.

WHAT

[07:45] you sent a message.

HOW THOU FRICK

[07:46] you sent a message.

wrong message wrong person sorry haha

[07:47] haechan sent a message.

"i am in love with donghyuck."

[07:47] haechan sent a message.

"sweetest, funniest, dorkiest guy with the most perfect smile."

[07:49] you sent a message.

i MAY be in love. MAY. not AM you narcissistic freak

[07:50] haechan sent a message.

i MAY be in love with you too

ends up taking you to the carnival for your first date, winning you stuffed animals and dragging you on rollercoaster after rollercoaster (definitely not because he likes the way you wrap around him whenever you get scared), finishes the day with a photobooth and a kiss on the ferris wheel.

⌜ jaemin ⌟

the coffee shop is relatively bustling, people going in and out the moment they receive their orders, or stay inside to enjoy their cup of coffee. you and jaemin being the latter, both your perspective orders on the brown wooden desk, along side your thick biology books.

your book has been untouched for the last hour, notes and highlighters thrown onto it as you tap at your phone, eyes flitting from the screen to jaemin's face every few moments.

[07:22] you sent a message.

we're currently studying biology

[07:23] you sent a message.

oh welp im lying,, he's learning biology and i'm relearning all my favorite things about him

[07:23] you sent a message.

that was so cheesy- ive been spending way too much time with nana 🤧

[07:23] you sent a message.

he's mumbling something about adjectives to explain biology

[07:24] you sent a message.

the one three adjectives i can explain is him

[07:24] you sent a message.

focused, motivated, oh and most definitely cute

you don't seem to notice jaemin's eyes on you, a coy smile on his lips as he checks his nonstop buzzing phone, slightly giggling at how you seem to not notice you've sent your texts to the wrong person.

"if I had to choose between DNA and RNA, i’d choose RNA because it has u in it.” his sudden voice startles you, making you yelp and raise your head to look at him in bewilderment. "we fit together like the sticky ends of recombinant DNA.”

"excuse me, na jaemin." throwing a raised eyebrow at him along with a sarcastic chuckle. "but i don't understand smart talk."

"you must be a red blood cell because you take the oxygen away from my lungs straight to my heart.” the coy smile he sends you doesn't solve anything, and it takes you moments until you finally start to catch on to his quips.

"DNA spelled backward is AND, as in… me AND you"

jaemin's blinking, breaking into a laugh that shakes the table just enough to spill some of his coffee onto his notes. an excited grin breaks out on your face, butterflies flying in your tummy as his eyes glaze over with a sudden emotion.

"my sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia tells me i love you."

⌜ chenle ⌟

5 minutes to his last buzzer and chenle's looking for you in the bleachers. his eyes are searching through the crowds of people, trying to find you in his signature red and white jersey, only to pout and huff when all he sees is unknown people waving at him, perking up seconds later when his phone vibrates.

[15:30] you sent a message.

look at him down there!

[15:30] you sent a message.

he looks like a freaking super star

[15:30] you sent a message.

hes THE ace,,, hes MY ace ohmygod :((

[15:31] you sent a message.

i just want him to know that whatever happens hes a winner in my heart yaknow??? not as if hes gonna lose i mean my chenle is the best one out there!!!!

[15:32] you sent a message.

pray for me bcs if he does win im gonna give him a big fat smooch :)

the coach calls for him before he has time to process your message, casually dragging him to play for his last round. his eyes are flitting from the score board, with a big red 60 vs 60 displayed, to the hoards of people. his eyes land on your for a second, the moment enough for you to send him a victory smile and thumbs up.

it's only in the last seconds when he scores the winning goal for his team does he celebrate, running away from the sports ground and leaving his confused team behind as he purposely looks for you. it's when you crash into his arms does he lift you into them, pressing a disorienting kiss onto your lips, with his teams roaring cheers as the background.

"i'm your chenle, i'm your ace!" it takes a minute for you to process his words, clicking two and two together before your jaw goes slack and an embarrased groan escapes from your lips. chenle grins when you bury your face in his chest, shaking you in his arms with all his added excitement. "can i have another kiss?" he peeps down to take a look at you, sending a bashful smile.

⌜ jisung ⌟

"park jisung this isn't funny!" you're sprinting down the stairs, a fair distance away from jisung who's already reached your kitchen, running for his life with your phone in his hand. "give me my phone back! jisung, i swear to god!"

the big laugh that erupts from jisung only gets to you even more, trying to run even faster after your neighbor whom you have had a crush for since childhood. all the while jisung is having the time of his life, running to your living room and cramping his lanky body into the first place he thinks of hiding, wedged between two sofas.

jisung's putting in your password, his birthday, and he's opening the message you've just received from renjun, reading your most recent chat with the chinese boy.

[14:09] you sent a message.

i dont know jun...

[14:09] you sent a message.

what if me confessing only makes us awkward?

[14:10] you sent a message.

i dont care if he rejects me, its jisung we're talking about here! he wouldn't hurt a fly! i dont think he'd break my heart that much..

[14:10] you sent a message.

i dont want 10 years of our friendship to go down the pipe just because of some stupid crush i have towards him

[14:11] you sent a message.

what am i going to do jun?

it takes jisung a moment to read between your texts and another minute to process that the boy you have a crush on, is in fact, him. the more he thinks about it, the more jisung regrets being a slow poke because the moment he finished, you're bounding in between the sofas and taking your phone from him.

there's a moment of silence, of you staring at the phone now in your hand and of jisung staring at his feet, shuffling and pouting his lips.

"jisung, i like you."

"i would never break your heart."

it's the day you became both jisung's bestfriend and lover, with him taking you on a date to the park later in the afternoon.

[warriorsofsplatsville]

Alterna, Part 3

Mirage slid across the ice once landing on the other side. 

“Waaaaah!!”

When Sandy popped out of the pipe, she saw them crashed against a wall, and the snow dropped down from a nearby ledge and covered them in it. 

“Mirage! Hold on, I’m coming!!” Sandy rushed over and grabbed ahold of their hand, hoisting them out of the pile.

Mirage quickly got back up a looked around frantically. “Where is she?! Sandy, did you see her?!”

“The lady? No, she wasn’t here when I arrived.”

“Dang it!!” They shouted, slamming their hand on a nearby box. “I lost her....”

“Mirage....” Sandy clasped her hands together. “Why are you looking for her? Is she important?”

“I....” They looked down, shaking their head. “Sandy, remember when I told you and Plat about why I came to Splatsville?”

“Um...to thank the person who saved your life? Oh!” Sandy’s eyes widened. “Are you saying that lady is-”

“I’m sure of it. Her voice, the way she composes herself....it’s all the same. This is the same woman. And not just that, she’s down here in Alterna, with us, and she could know something about this place, and how to leave, and I cant just lose h-!!”

“Mirage.” Sandy placed a hand on their shoulder, causing them to look up at her. “I get this is exciting, but we have to stay focused. We need to find everyone else first, Plat, Minu, and Mr. Cuttlefish. That’s more important right now.”

“...Right, sorry. I just...I sick of living in the dark. I have been my entire life. I want to know the truth. The whole truth.”

Mirage looked down at the wristwatch again, looking through the map. “Dang. The nearest signal is on the next island over. This one is called ‘Cryogenic Hopetown’.”

“It’s so chilly here...and that’s funny considering here is covered in snow.” Sandy rubbed her arms. “Makes me wish I still had that big, heavy coat Cuttlefish gave me, even if it does smell.”

“Because it’s not actually snow.”

The two gasped and spun around to see....

It was the bird creature from the crater!

“Y-You! You’re the prime suspect!!” Sandy exclaimed. “You- wait, I thought you couldn’t understand us, and we couldn’t understand you.”

“Please. When you’ve lived alongside sentient sea creatures as long as I have, you pick on their language a bit. It’s a simple language, really.” He pulled away his mask and coat.

His features were unlike anything they had ever seen. No tentacles, no mask, no suction cups. 

“What are you?!” Sandy shouted, and the man shushed her by covering her mouth. 

“I’m what your kind call a human.” He explained. “One of the last ones, by the looks of it.”

“Human? Like, the ones that went extinct?” Mirage asked. He nodded. 

“Exactly that. But evidence here seems to suggest otherwise...I lived near the Eiffel Tower since waking up, but I never imagined that there was something under the crater. Fascinating...”

Sandy moved his hand off her face. “You said something about this not being snow?”

“Ah, I did say that, yes. I analyzed the substance covering the ground area here, and I confirmed it’s not snow. It’s not even fake snow.” He slid some worn gloves on and picked up a handful. “These are microscopic crystals, seemingly shattered. And incredibly deadly. This is a result of a chemical reaction, I’m sure of it.”

“Deadly?! We’ve been rolling around in this stuff this entire time!! Are we gonna die?!” Sandy gulped. 

“Strangely enough, your kind...you’re immune to it. But me, not so much. It’s made even worse considering I didn’t bring any protective equipment with me when I descended down here with you lot. The fuzz piles around here don’t make it much easier to traverse.”

“Wait....so you don’t know what’s causing the fuzzy ooze to appear? You don’t have anything to do with us falling either?” Mirage tilted their head. 

“Correct, I am trying to discover the appearance of the...fuzzy ooze, as you call it, myself. Now it seems we have an even bigger mystery on our hands.”

“Who are you?”

“Name’s mean nothing to me anymore, my people, and my language are dead. Call me...Vulture.” He brushed the snow off his hands and removed his gloves. “I am...well, was, a professor. One of the four that were tasked to save our dying world and remaining species. But we failed. Humans, as well as mammals perished forever.”

“The four professors...?!”

Vulture turned his head to see Xïngxì in front of him, holding her head in pain. Gravitational Pull seemed to have caught up.

“I...I know you! I remember you, your face! You were the destined saviors of the world!! I remember that!! I...hrnngh!!” Xïngxì stumbled a bit. 

“Careful!” Vulture set his hands on her shoulder to steady her. “Overexertion of the mind can cause extreme stress.”

“WAH! WHAT ARE YOU?!” Dal exclaimed. “DON’T HURT HER!”

“I’m not-” He paused his sentence to look at Biela, who stared back. A smile plastered across their face. “It’s you!”

“U-Um--”

“What’s going on? Why does Xïngxì remember him despite being an Octoling?” Sandy whined. “This is way too much...”

“Quiet, everyone!” Vulture shouted, shutting up the panicked cephalopods. “I cannot focus if you all yell at me!”

His eyes locked onto the wristwatch Mirage was wearing. “You. Let me see that.”

Mirage hesitated as they slid the watch off their wrist, and held it out to Vulture. He took it and took a look. “That’s very funny...ORCA....some of this is translated, but these logs, they’re still in my language...”

“Yeah, I can’t read them.” Mirage commented. 

“If I tweak this a little, I can make it so it switches languages entirely. Might take some effort.”

The group decided to take a break. While Vulture was picking through the watch, Sandy and Mirage explained everything to Gravitational Pull.

“He’s a human? But..” Dal looked over to Xïngxì. “That can’t be possible. How can Xïngxì identify a professor that lived over twelve thousand years ago?”

“That’s what we’re wondering. But my current running theory....is that she’s not an Octoling. Or least, didn’t start out as one.” Mirage suggested.

“Xïngxì’s not an Octoling? But...that would imply she was a human!” Dal exclaimed. “That’s not possible...is it?”

“Dal....” Xïngxì mumbled. “Let’s drop this for now. I....I have a lot to think about.”

“...Yeah, I guess we all do.”

“By the way, Biela...you seem to recognize Vulture as well.” Sandy inquired. “Are you also...human?”

“Nope! I’m a pupfish, through and through. I remember being a kid and all.” They chirped. “I met Vulture one day when exploring the desert!”

“You met him in the desert?”

“Yeah! It’s so funny, I didn’t think I’d get to see a human for myself...but I guess that means I can make my ancestors proud!”

“How so?”

“You see, our species, the pupfish, were one of the first to roam the land after evolving. We got to see the world ahead of us, that being the Splatlands. In our ruins, and legends, it was told that we were the only species to have made contact with the mythical human species thought to have gone extinct! We exchanged gear and food for their last remaining language.”

“Wow! That’s incredible! So pupfish got to talk to humans!” Sandy clapped her hands together excitedly. “But wait...at that point in time, weren’t all humans extinct?”

“I mean, the proof is right here in front of us, isn’t it?” They gestured to Vulture, and adjusted the glasses on their face. “There’s a living human here. That means there could’ve been others.”

“You’re not wrong...” Mirage slouched their shoulders, sitting back. “This is all so much to take in. Alterna, snow that’s actually deadly, now living humans...what...what happened to the humans, for real?”

Vulture came back over and handed the watch to Mirage. “There you are. Should be fully translated. That ORCA system is something else. It almost reminds me of Greg’s TARTAR project...quickly adaptable AI.”

When Mirage accessed the logs, it projected upward, making the logs easier to see and read. Like ORCA had told them, some of the files were still corrupted, but it seemed like Mirage clearing the tests in those kettles fixed some of them.

“Let’s see....” Mirage’s eyes skimmed the text displayed before them. “Wh....NO WAY!”

“What, Mirage?!” Sandy scooted closer to them to try and read it. 

“Alterna....Alterna is a last resort for the human species! They didn’t all die in the Great Flood?!” They continued to scroll through the files. “Sea life ended up inside of a giant crater, and the humans were able to dig downwards...and made a new life for themselves....”

Everyone looked intently at Mirage, waiting for more. 

“They made a brand new civilization, the second rise of humans. A few human scientists that managed to survive began to replicate many of humanity’s many achievements and historical monuments by means of 3D printers...they had finally found a safe haven.”

“What else?”

“Grr....the rest is still corrupted. I can’t make it out. I’ll have to clear more kettles.” Mirage put the wristwatch back on, and stood. up. “Time to get back to work, Buddy.”

The smallfry jumped into their hand, ran across their arm, and hopped back into the basket, eager to get going. 

“Incredible....a symbiotic relationship between squid and salmon...” Vulture murmured. 

“What about you Vulture? What are you going to do?” Sandy asked him. 

“I’ll probably accompany you. I need to comb through these islands. They have so much human memorabilia....” He looked around. 

“We’ll come with. We might be a little slow, but if it helps Xïngxì in any way....” Dal helped her onto her feet, and Biela ran up to Vulture. “That means we’ll get to catch up~”

“Y-Yes, I suppose we can.” 

“Well, let’s clear this island and continue onward!!”

[zhuhongs]

oh god i honestly could cry rn im just so tired of everything. like it rlly Is August and im sick of being brave (rant incoming)

okay so like first thing rlly is this fucking job. like god i... its about equal the amt of money i make there plus one day at m/rshalls versus if i worked at marshalls my normal amt. so like... ok. and then theres just the sheer amout of atuff i need to do to prep for that job that i just dont get compensated for and like i still do the same amt as the other teachers but get paid less and have less hours. like What... why. and then theres just. the stress of the job bc i need to learn how to teach all year long and keep up the energy and i just. i cant do it. i dint think I'll be happy doing it. like rlly i may give it a month and its Not The Job For Me.. like. I'm rlly convinced. i remember snth myanager way e said to me before i trained someone and he said "you need to make sure they get it from the start bc if theyre lost at the beginning, theyre gonna be lost the entire time up until they leave." and thats how i feel abt this job. theyve lost me since the first day of training. rlly. i feel lost. and im gonna communicate that. and then i have this whole deal with my car that makes me want to cry on the spot. like its 1.3k to fix my car. and i font really understand why at all. like ik ive neglected it and that theres issues with it. but idk how it amts to that much. according to the technician, my engine mounts are all broken so my engine is shaking when u start it which us a huge issue and could cause the engine to explode p much if i dont do anything. and im just. okay well i gotta fix it. but jesus christ do i want to cry. its an used car i got a horrible deal on and i. i dont know if its worth ut. its nit fully paid off even so i cant sell it or trade it in i think and i just. i dont know what to do. i have the money for it. thank god. but still thatd be around half of my bank account. and i just paid my tuition and we just moved so money is tight on my mom and my rent goes up and i start in person classes so ill be spending a ton in gas and im just freaked out. and taking this job is honestly like a slight cut in my salary bc its pays biweekly and its like fjfjdjdjshfhdjsjsjs. im just trying to make good decisions for the long term so i dont burn out and nothing looks like its a good investment and i just wanna cry and my mom doesnt want to help me or even talk abt it bc shes also miserable and overworked. and also gets mad at me for overthinking but i cant help it. i dont want to live like i used to live when i could barely make ends meet. it was miserable and i dont want to ve miserable. i thought wverything was starting to look up but no its not!!! its rlly not!! idk how im gonna end up saving to build back up my savings (bc i have a feeling that the way im living rn will be unsustainable and ill be broke soon bc of rent and car payments and school) or how im gonna find a satisfying job after i graduate and im gonna cry. im gonna fucking cry. i. literally crying. i dont know what i want to do. i dont rlly want to teach or do art. and i sure as hell dont want to stay in retail and i know i dont need to have it figured put rn. im 21 with a job, a car, and a BA in progress. im doing really well but all i have is me bc my family cant support me. they have to support themselves so i have to be doing well!! i cant live otherwise. i just want the right answers and i dont know. like do i stick it out here and gain experience? but for what?!! i dont want to stay in this field. i just. i dont kniw. i dont know. i just want to be happy and i probably never shouldve taken the job bc i know ill hate leaving once i start bc ill feel bad for the kids. but its not my fault but i. but i. god. I dont want to be brave. i want to have everything figured out.

[trashcatsnark]

WHY THE FUCK WERE UP SO LATE??? FUCKING UR SO LUCKY I CANT BEAT UR ASS OTHERWISE ITD BE KNUCKLE CITY

anyway, speaking about johnny boy i was thinking about him + nibbles and our like collective desicion that he is essiently a cat and it is really weirdly fitting that it just makes me like ???? so like cats themselves are a reoccuring motif within the game from the start, when u go to viks, when ur chatting up takemura and at the end with the rooftop that also doubles as like the millionith matrix reference. they follow v and they take up the role of the bakeneko, which i think in the game is defined by them appearing near death ? or just disaster. the obvious thing is that it is to do with v's inpending death and their whole sitation but like the general point is like the cat symbolises the death that follows v as the cat follows them. this puts johnny in an interesting sitation from his catlike nature to how he seems to like and get along with nibbles, he is linked with cats. he is also the parasite that is killing v. he is V's bakeneko. their signal of death. the events start because of his relic, jackie dies for him, and soon does most of the cast from act 1, and a large part of the death from then on is a direct result of them trying to solve the relic and johnny's whole presence is a signal for hey v ur fucking dying. he is death for them. the bakeneko.

makes me wonder if his catlike attributes were intentionally done cause that boy aint right or we just accidently walked on a really thematic fitting landmind

Spoilers within, again, also leave my sleeping schedule alone, I do not function. Additionally, I have a lot to say about Nibbles, omens, cats, and pets then how they all relate back to Johnny so congrats on opening a flood gate my friend!

 think the thematic thing with Johnny and cats and the bakeneko has to 1000000 percent be intentional, because he even sees a cat when Alt is kidnapped. And that goes back to Cyberpunk Red. Like that was used and utilized and then became such a large part of the story. 

Johnny is clearly meant to be a bakeneko; he’s actively next to the cat in that conversation, leaves when it does, see the same cat before Alt’s death, and is again the visual representation of what is happening to V. He is the symbol of their death, whether he wants to be or not. 

I think it’s also interesting to note, the Bakeneko, which is described as an omen of death and misfortune isn’t the only way we see cats used thematically within the game. Albeit, this way is more subtle and perhaps intentionally so. We also see the maneki-neko; the lucky cat statues are everywhere in game. In V’s apartment, Misty’s shop, Vik’s clinic. Everyyyyyywhereeeeee. 

So, we see two mythological cats from Japanese culture. One brings misfortune and one brings good luck. And Johnny exemplifies both. 

Johnny is a visual representation of all that is destroying V. His mere existence and presence a constant reminder that their death is around the corner. An ever present omen that V’s clock is ticking. He also often pops up to have a comment just before massive relic malfunctions and disasters. The end of every main game quest is punctuated with a relic malfunction and a lecture from Johnny. 

But without the chip and by extension Johnny, V would already be dead. If the chip hadn’t been the exact right place to be damaged and activated by the gunshot; it would have killed V right then and there. And while this wasn’t an active choice on Johnny’s part, he is the visual representation of the chip. Even then, he later does make an active choice to save V’s life. When V is hit with the worst malfunction yet; Johnny grabs them, “you aren’t dying yet, I got you” and he takes them to safety. He refuses to watch V seize and die in a puddle of their own sick in the middle of nowhere (for me it’s always at the sunset hotel, idk if this changes based on the order you do the events tho) So, he takes control, he eases their pain and takes them somewhere safe, somewhere that means something to him, and swears to die for them. 

Luck both good and bad. Fortune and misfortune. A sign of better days and an omen of death. A maneki-neko and a bakeneko. The time bomb in V’s head and the guy who saved their life. He is both. 

Now, stepping away from the mythological aspects. Lets talk about Nibbles the cat, Johnny, and pets within Cyberpunk 2077. Animals and by extension pets are considered a luxury in Night City. They’re taxed to fuck and back, generally only the wealthy can have them. Its also often brought up that real friends and family who stick by you are very difficult to come by. V becomes through Nibbles one of the rare people to have a pet. One of the other people who had a pet is, Barry their neighbor. 

Barry and his mission is one of the first you can unlock and see in the game. He’s V’s downstairs neighbor and his story is played out so fucking similarly to V’s. Barry lost his best friend, he’s quit his job because he can’t handle the weight of the NCPD’s corruption, and he’s thinking of taking his own life.  V has lost Jackie, its stated in game they get less work than usual because of Konpeki (cant be put on a crew), and very early on can say to Misty “be better off putting in my head”. 

But for Barry that friend ends up being a pet tortoise. And its clear what that tortoise represents; a constant companion, a safe place, and a comfort. Something Barry couldn’t find among his peers until later on when they learn just how much he’s been hurting. And this is treated as such a tragedy, that he only has a pet to turn to. 

And so V gets a cat, because they too are fucking hurting and having a little meowing bundle of skin running around their apartment helps. Something to come home to, something to make that apartment a little less empty, a little more alive. 

So, how does this particular aspect of Nibbles/cats/pets relate to Johnny, I hear you wondering (as well as wondering when Im going to shut up). Well, we know Johnny is linked symbolically with cats and thats the choice of pet for V. And we knows pets have been likened to support without judgement; a companion who you can tell everything too and they won’t abandon you. 

And while Johnny has heaps of judgment and is a dick. He is V’s only constant companion. I know a good junk of people don’t like him or his commentary; but imagine V’s life without Johnny in it through the game events. Imagine how lonely they’d be. 

Johnny is the only one who knows everything and is there with V from the start to the final moments in Mikoshi. 

Vik and Misty know, but they’re no edgerunners, they have no idea everything V is doing out there. Part of why as much as I do love Vik, his frustration with V hurts so much in the end because he talks like V hasn’t done anything to save themselves. Because, Vik doesn’t know what V’s been doing this whole time. 

Each part of the main quests in Act 2 are linked to an NPC; Judy, Panam, and Takemura. And not one of them know or are there throughout the entirety of V’s journey. Judy doesn’t get told the full details of what’s happening until later in and stops helping V one Evelyn is saved. Panam doesn’t learn the full details or anything really about the chip until much later. And her quests become her own personal journey once V finds Hellman. And then depending on V’s choices, Panam can come in to help at the end. Takemura knows V is dying and is there to help with the parade and then he’s gone; either dead or in hiding. He refers to anything that doesn’t involve him as V’s shady dealings and leaves it at that. He’s there to interrogate Hellman but he doesn’t know all V did to find him. None of them know everything, none of them have been there the whole time. And that’s not a condemnation of them, I do not expect them to drop everything to be glued to V’s side 24/7 but, I can’t fucking imagine how alone V feels. 

River has no involvement in any main quests and only finds out anything if V chooses to romance him. Kerry knows what Johnny told him and depending on the ending may even leave V. Again, wanna be clear, that isn’t a condemnation on his character. I understand why he does this and i understand his hurt and how it led him to that. 

But this is about how truly fucking alone V is in all of this. Not a single person there start to finish, not a single person knowing all that they have suffered, all that they have been through and are going through. 

Except Johnny. He tells V in the oil fields, closest to him by far, there 24/7, yet they don’t seem to hate him. And he’s that for V too; there the entire way, their demon never leaving.  Johnny knows everything happening; because he’s part of what’s happening. He’s been there through every struggle, every step, every slap in the face as V’s tried to save themselves. Has felt their pain as they lose themselves, has known the people who’ve had to die for them to get this far, as felt their heart break when all they found was betrayal by the Voodoo Boys, Ai Alt asking how V’s life is her problem, getting recommended a hospice by Hellman. 

And as dickish as he is, his comments help. V always has someone there, as much as he sucks. He always has something stupid or naggy to say to help keep some of that weight off their shoulders. Imagine if they didn’t even have that. If Johnny never talked to them, never showed his face. 

A constant companion, like a supportive pet cat except he can talk and did a lot of meth. 

And this is a sidenote that has nothing to do with cats specifically, but that through Samurai music this isn’t the first time Johnny could be compared to an omen. Its no secret that the music was largely created around the game and as such, many of his songs have direct parallels and messages related to the game. Never Fade Away while in universe written in regards to Alt’s death also has so much in common with his journey with V. This brings me to the song Black Dog.

“Black Dog inside my head, guiding me until the end.”

Black Dogs are figures in Irish Mythology  who much like bakeneko’s are talked about in game; are omens of death and misfortune. I just find it interesting I suppose, like Johnny is either a dirty alley cat or a big mangy dog, but either way he’s here cause someones about to die.

Okay this is well over a thousand words, Imma shut up now. This is probably a mess, but anyone here for coherency is in the wrong place.