#and one day ill be able to take it to see hadestown

[artisthoi]

gonna make a hadestown bag trust me guys

[ariallegrorp]

Howdy ho, friendos! I'm Ari (19F) and I am looking for a 1x1 Hadestown RP on Discord! There are three main ideas I am looking for, although I am glad to hear any ideas you may have, and I'm glad to double! Bolded characters are who I would like to play!

🥀- Orpheus + Anyone

💀- Persephone + Hades

🕯- Original Character + Orpheus (or anyone, I just mainly want Orpheus lmao)

What I WILL Do:

-Romantic Plots (CC x CC or OC x CC)

-Platonic/Familial Plots

-Fluff, Angst, and Whump

-Semi-literate to advanced literate writing- I'll match you!

What I WON'T Do:

-Smut (There is a certain limit I'll go to, that can be discussed.)

-One-liners. I prefer quality over quantity, but I need to be able to work with replies, and one line isn't enough for me!

-RP without Tupperbox. If you don't know how to use it, that's okay! I'll gladly teach you, it just keeps things organized!

PLEASE NOTE:

I have chronic pain/illness and it often can get in the way of replies some days, and I can be silent without meaning to. Don't take this as me ghosting you! I just have the worst memory known to man. Feel free to ping me as a reminder, it's a big help! I will always try to keep you updated. No matter what though, I LOVE talking OOC so even if I'm not feeling up to RP in the moment, feel free to talk to me about headcanons, the RP or what's happening in your life! I love to talk!

Interact with this post or send me a DM and I'll get back to you ASAP! Thank you, and hopefully I'll see you way down under the ground! ❤

[hello-yue-here]

About your atla ship songs, I have a couple of questions (sorry if my phrasing comes out wrong, english isn't my first language and I worry it might across as accidentally defensive): how did you end up with the choices for zukka, jetko and yuekka (note: I haven't seen the great comet, so feel free to obsess over it, I'm intrigued now and the hype is appreciated!)? Sidenote: I think the mailee choice is HILARIOUS and the tokka one just make me sad, I didn't expect to be attacked like this😭

kdjfha;s i love you im gonna obsess SO HARD over great comet now. you may regret this

this is gonna be so long so the rest is under the cut whoops

yuekka: no one else from great comet

where do i even begin. WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN

okay so background information on this show: it's based off of a 76 oages excerpt from war and peace and its centered around a woman named natasha (and this guy pierre but he's irrelevant to this song so we wont worry about him) and natasha's bethrothed is off fighting in the war right now. she hasn't seen him in a while but she is in love with him.

every single lyrics of this song SCREAMS yuekka to me. the innocence and purity of their love. the love at first sight. and even the melancholy ending just- i go apeshit for this song. i love this song so much. and denee benton's voice??? kljsdhflwksugf please listen to this song if you haven't already. listen to the whole show. your life will be changed forever.

onto the lyrics (i stg this is ab to be the whole song whoops)

"the moon"

THOSE ARE THE FIRST WORDS ON THE SONG. natasha and andre (her bethrothed) met underneath the moonlight. Sokka and Yue first spoke to eachother at night and always met each other for their most intimate moments under the moonlight. also yue is LITERALLY the moon so like: right of the bat with those two words it's yuekka.

"and i saw your eyes / and i saw your smile / and the world opened wide"

sokka fell in love with yue the moment he saw her in the canal. she literally enchanted this motherfucker. everything about her made his heart go crazy. and 'the world opened wide' to me is from yue's perspective. Yue had never left the north pole and sokka had seen a good chuck of the world at the point. He took her on appa, he told her about his adventures. he saw the world yue wished to see and you know damn well that Sokka would have done anything to give it to her.

"oh the moon /oh the snow in the moonlight / and your childlike eyes and your distant smile / ill never be this happy again / you and i and no one else"

natasha sings fondly about the moon and the snow, seeing as it was where she fell in love with andre. yue and sokka LITERALLY fell in love in the same place: in the snowy nothern water tribe under the light of the moon. childlike eyes: THEYRE CHILDREN!!! distant smile: this is where it gets a little sad. theyre both children with way too many duties during a world that has known nothing but war for the past century. they want to be happy but yeah, theyre smiles are distant and far away because happiness seems out of reach for them most of the time. i'll never be this happy again: the moments yue and sokka shared together were probably the happiest either of them ever were. they were able to ignore the war and the world in the moments they shared together. and with no one else. no one else would be able to give each other this sense of peace and happiness and love.

"joy and life inside our souls / and no body knows just you and me / it's our secret"

Yue and Sokka had to sneak out in secret at night to go and see each other. Yue and Sokka couldn't be together for real because Yue was already engaged, but they were literally in love so she decided to see him anyways in secret. kasdjfhklasjd im losing my mind over them at this point.

"this winer sky / how can anyone sleep / there was never such a night before / i feel like putting my arms around my knees / and squeezing tight as possible / and flying away"

these are my FAVORITE lines in the entire song. yue and sokka had never felt this strongly about anyone before and that's why they are so drawn to each other. they had never experienced love before and they wanted to hold onto it for as long as they could even though they knew they couldnt. Sokka takes yue up on appa and she is wistful and wishes she could live like he does every day: ie flying away. oh my god these two deserved so much better. so much fucking better.

now for the saddes part. the saddest fucking part.

"maybe he'll come today / maybe he came already / and he's sitting in the drawing room / and i simply forgot"

natasha misses andre so intensely at this point. when i first listened to this show and heard this song i was like "wait a min... is andre like... dead?" and im sure i wasnt the only person who assumed that this was why natasha felt so sad by the end of such a beautiful song. (spoiler alert andre is fine)

but this line really exemplifies how sad natasha is, and hints at the fact that andre may never come back. it implies that their relationship is doomed (at least in my opinion) and that's all yuekka. Sokka misses yue intensely when shes gone. Yue accepted her fate almost immediately but sokka was in denial. he thought there had to be another way. but in the end it wasn't meant to be. and sokka will go on, loving yue, wishing for her back, even though it's not possible.

fuck im gonna cry.

zukka: all i've ever known- hadestown

"i was alone so long / i didn't even know that i was lonely / out in the cold so long / i didnt even know that i was cold"

sokka is from the swt so theres where the cold comes in. also in the gaang (initially) it was just him katara and aang. and katara and aang were much closer to each other than sokka was with aang and the two of them were benders so sokka was kind of an outsider with the two of them. He also represses a lot of his emotions and feels the need to do everything himself so i do see a lot of loneliness in sokka. and the fact that so many people in his life have left him (his mom, yue, his dad, suki briefly, etc...) he is known to keep people at an arms length. i see a lot of loneliness in sokka.

zuko's loneliness is a lot more obvious: he has literally been cast out and abandoned by everyone except iroh. and even then he still feels the need to be alone (remember zuko alone? thought so) these boys look after themselves and push others away and revel in their loneliness in order to keep themselves from getting hurt. at least in my opinion on canon and also some fanon because id be a liar if i said fanon didnt influence how i view ALL my ships (not just zukka)

"all ive ever known is how to hold my own / but now I wanna hold you too"

COME ONE MANNNN, they just wanna hold each other. theyre both very big protectors as well and kljhflkasdhg they wanna protect eachother like kljdhfl im gonna lose it rn.

"You take me in your arms / And suddenly there's sunlight all around me / Everything bright and warm / And shining like it never did before / And for a moment I forget / Just how dark and cold it gets"

SUNLIGHT SYMBOLISM. zuko is literally powered by the sun. i don't think i even NEED to elaborate on this one anymore lol. They find comfort in each other away from all of their trauma. when they're together nothing else matters and i personally love that for them. they both deserve love.

"I knew you before we met / And I don't even know you yet / All I know is your someone I have always known"

these two are extremely similar in canon. many parallels. older brothers overshadowed by their prodigy little sisters. longing to make their fathers proud (granted one dad is good and one is fuckin evil), both are pretty bad with emotions. both are seen protecting others before themselves (sokka protecting suki during the serpant's pass, sokka protecting toph on like multiple occassions, zuko protecting katara in the final agni kai), the list goes on. they know who the other is because they see themselves in the other person. they already know each other because they are each other (in a way, not entirely, but the similarities are strong in my opinion)

"I'm gonna hold you forever / The wind will never change on us / Long as we stay with each other / Then it will always be like this"

i just think this line is so cute and sweet (ignoring all the symbolism and foreshadowing that comes with the last line in the musical itself. im gonna pretend this is nothing but happy) and i think these boys deserve happiness so yeah. this song is zukka to me lol.

jetko: thrill of first love- falsettoes

if you've never listened to this song go an do it now. you will know INSTANTLY that it is jetko because of the dynamics alone. marvin and whizzer are pure jetko and i take no crticisms.

marvin and whizzer are both extremely stubborn, and they don't always get along, and they fight a lot, and they get mad at each other a lot, and they are both passionate as hell, and they will bring this passion into everything. they love each other that is without a doubt, but they arent perfect and they are once again stubborn and determined as fuck.

sound familiar? it's literally jetko.

the lyrics aren't what remind me of jetko, but the dynamic itself. the lyrics are too on the nose for a gay couple in 1970's america so that rlly cant apply to jetko all that much. but the way these two characters bounce off of each other and get annoyed with each other and argue with eachother reminds me of jetko. because let's be honest: these two are the most stubborn characters in the whole show. they will fight for what they believe and it will take literally everything to change their minds.

i love jetko but i think they would have petty arguments all the time and get aggravated by one another so easily. and this is even seen in canon: they work so fucking well together but they did not even HESITATE to fight one another after neither of them would give in and let the fight about whether jet was right or wrong about zuko being a firebender. like i cannot say it enough they are stubborn as fuck.

but underneath all that stubborn pettiness and bickering: marvin and whizzer still love each other. and jet and zuko would still love each other. because even though they are stubborn when it comes to arguments, they are even more stubborn and determined when it comes to each other. these two passionate motherfuckers are in love.

(now when i chose this song i decided to ignore the fact that this song literally spells out the fact that marvin and whizzer's relatinoship is doomed because they literally say passion dies. thats the difference between jetko and whizzer and marvin because i dont think passion dies. i chose this song strictly for the bickering lmao)

and i know you didnt ask about tokka but,,,,

i rlly wanna talk about the tokka one

so im going to

tokka: on my own- les mis

look. i KNOW this song is about unrequited love and i love tokka as a couple but,,, the unrequited love in this song just SCREAMS unrequited tokka to me so thats what i went with.

eponine is a girl who has neglectful parents who lives life by her own rules: toph. eponine is shown to be tough and confident and spunky to others but behind all of that she has emotions, she feels love, she hides her vulnerability so much: toph. she is in love with a guy she cant be with because he loves someone else: TOPH

eponine is toph to a t and toph is eponine to a t. this is not up for debate lmao

"without him i feel his arms around me"

toph is always seen grabbing onto someone (and its almost ALWAYS sokka) when she's somewhere where she can't use her feet to see. FEEL and ARMS cmon. look at it.

"and i know / i know that he is blind"

COME ON. IMAGINE TOPH SINGING THIS LINE. this line is already powerful enough in les mis but having toph, a blind character, sing it just makes the symbolism even deeper. toph sees the potential relationship they could have together. toph sees that sokka is oblivious to this. toph is not blind to the truth or the potention, but sokka is blind to her feelings. im about to lose my mind over this line.

"I love him / But every day I'm learning / All my life / I've only been pretending / Without me / His world will go on turning / A world that's full of happiness / That I have never known"

i need to sit down for a moment. toph grew up in a household where her parents did not understand her. she has learned to hide her true emotions and vulnerabilities from everyone. and its the fact that toph knows that she and sokka will never be together and the fact that she still loves him in spite of that is what makes this even more heartbreaking.

"but only on my own"

TOPH AND EPONINE SWEETIES I LOVE YOU

thank you for indulging my theatre kid nonsense. you are very sweet and kind and lovely and awesome and i hope you have a lovely day bestie :) <3

ask me why i think these songs go with these ships

[swedish-lavender]

Swedes’ Music Taste Headcanon/Mini Playlists

Just my personal headcanons with some examples so you can listen and get a better idea of this headcanon :)

• Axel likes more loose dance music with a bit of pep that he could either dance or work to. This can be 70s/80s music and some more modern alternative pop songs or even some broadway/show tunes.

• Artists he would enjoy would be Coldplay, Hozier, David Bowie, and John Lennon.

• Something about this kind of music appeals to him as it's got a softer beat which makes it nice to listen to as background music for whatever he needs to do. He hates to be distracted so having music that serves more as background helps in that sense.

• Broadway shows he would enjoy would be Hadestown, Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Fiddler on the Roof (he cried at the end of each, but won’t admit it).

• These songs/shows appeal to him as they tell a story that he can get lost in and use as an escape from reality.

• He likes repetition in songs so that he can focus on that one repeating melody and use that for meditation/focus. Music that changes often gives him a small sense of anxiety. He doesn’t mind it, but he will notice the changes and begin to focus more on the song rather than the work he is doing. (Bohemian Rhapsody for example)

• Axel mostly uses music as a means of escape or a means to focus. If he can concentrate on a certain song’s beat, then it helps him be able to pay attention to whatever he is supposed to do.

• It also allows for him to escape reality if need be. If something happens and he is panicking or depressed, he will listen to music to take his mind off of whatever is bothering him.

• Basically music helps him both stay on track as well as lose sense of reality when needs be.

Mini Axel Playlist:

- Good Times by All Time Low

- Clocks and Viva la Vida by Coldplay

- China Girl by David Bowie

- Mr Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra

- Southern Nights by Glen Campbell

- In the Woods Somewhere by Hozier

- Imagine by John Lennon

And of course all songs from the shows mentioned above

• Otto likes classical music. The kind depends on his mood that day as it varies, but he usually vibes with edgier pieces with some spunk to them that have changing notes and rhythms yet still with a subtle melody.

• He enjoys composers like Shostakovich, Bach, Mendelssohn and Chopin, but honestly does not have any preference.

• His favorite instruments to listen to would be violin and piano as his mother played piano and his father played a bit of the violin, but he really enjoys almost any instrument he listens to. Those two just hold a special place in his heart.

• He listens to music to either wind down for the day, take a moment of short relaxation before jumping back into life, to start the day and gain motivation, or to have as background music for when he does target practice or day-to-day chores.

• Otto uses music as a means of relaxation. Whenever he is feeling restless, anxious, depressed, angry, or anything else, he will listen to classical music which helps remind him of the things he loves.

Mini Otto Playlist:

- Allegretto ben moderato from Sonata for violin and piano in A by César Franck (Version I listen to is also performed by Joshua Bell on Violin with Jean-Yves Thibaudet on Piano). I can see this being Otto’s first song which would bring him into the world of classical music/classical violin and is when he would slowly fall in love with the gracefulness of both the piano and violin. He would listen to this piece as he takes a moment of relaxation before diving back into a world of chaos with another mission.

- Partita No. 2 in D Minor by Bach and Mendelssohn (Version I listen to is the one performed by Joshua Bell on Violin).

- Introduction et Rondo Capriccioso, Op. 28 by Camille Saint-Saëns (Version I listen to is performed by Itzhak Perlman on violin and accompanied by the New York Philharmonic Orchestra). A beautiful violin solo that has a main recurring theme that shows the power and skill of the violinist. Otto would listen closely and take in each phrase and would think it couldn’t get better, but it continuously impressed until the end. Despite it being 9 minutes long, he would get lost in it and long for more and he puts in on repeat while doing target practice or cleaning or other chores.

- 12 Études, op 25: 11 in A Minor “Winter Wind” by Fréderic Chopin. It is a gorgeous piece filled with fast moving notes that would captivate him and leave him in awe and amazement that someone could play that (especially if he saw it performed live).

- Symphony No. 5 in D Minor, Op 47: IV Allegro non troppo by Dmitri Shostakovich (Performed by the London Symphony Orchestra). Really fast an edgy piece with many moving notes.

- Symphony No. 7 in A Major, Op. 92: II Allegro by Ludwig Van Beethoven (performed by the London Symphonic Orchestra). Slower and more repetitive piece that really just builds on itself and gets more and more intense and edgy.

• Oscar likes more rock/metal music.

• He would enjoy artists like Bon Jovi, Kiss, Dio, The Rolling Stones, The Animals and Queen.

• Honestly, Oscar is fascinated by electric guitars and drum sets and how they keep a steady beat as well as keep the song flowing. It helps him feel grounded whenever he is feeling anxious. It also allows him to tap to a beat and keep time.

• Despite him listening to loud songs, he won’t blast them throughout the house as it would be overwhelming for both him and the kitties.

• He would mostly listen to his music through headphones so as to not bother the kitties.

• Occasionally he will quietly play the music aloud or even badly sing to it and make the kitties dance along.

• Oscar uses music as a means of fun as well as an excuse to be himself. He feels that people see him as delicate and helpless due to his mental illnesses and shy demeanor, but he does not view himself that way and uses music to remind himself that he can do anything.

• Sometimes when a slow rock ballad comes on the radio and he is home alone, he picks up a cat and slow dances with them. He will change partners so that everyone gets a chance to dance.

Mini Oscar Playlist:

- I Was Made for Lovin’ You by Kiss

- Holy Diver by Dio

- It’s My Life and You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi

- Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple

- The House of the Rising Sun by The Animals

- Welcome to the Black Parade by MCR

- Paint It Black by The Rolling Stones

- War Pigs / Luke’s Wall by Black Sabbath

- Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

- Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne

[theaterdisneynerdsunite]

A (Controversial) Ranking Of 2010’s 10 Tony Winning Best Musicals

Remember when I thought this blog would be full of original theater content? Oops. Anyways here’s my list. Keep in mind some of these were incredibly close. I kept switching around 7/8, 5/6, and 3/4, but this is what I ultimately settled on. There’s a certain placement that I’m sure a lot of people are going to say is way too low, I’m not saying this is the definitive ranking or “correct”, just my personal opinion based on my individual taste. There are a bunch of musicals from this decade that I love that didn’t win the Tony, but that’s an entirely separate list lol.

10: Memphis

Tbh I know nothing about this show. It could be fantastic, but I’ve never heard the soundtrack, know nothing about it, and am unfortunately unable to listen to the soundtrack until 2020. Nothing against Memphis, I just don’t know anything about it which is why I put it at the bottom

9: Dear Evan Hansen

Put down your pitchforks. This is why I put controversial in the title. I’ve listened to this show multiple times, I’ve read the plot a bunch of times, I’ve had DEH Stan’s try to change my mind, I really, really wanted to like this show. The actors are incredibly talented and have great voices, no complaints there. I have anxiety and other mental health conditions and I was ecstatic at hearing about a show getting popular being about those things. I wanted to like this show. I wanted to connect to Evan, I really did, but the way the story is written makes me deeply uncomfortable with what it says about mental illness, and the music is fine but doesn’t distract from the story for me. It’s sort of generic music wise in my opinion. The way they portray both Connor’s and Evan’s characters makes me actively dislike the show, and it is really, really hard to make me actively dislike a show. I feel ambivalent sometimes, I have mixed feelings sometimes, but I actively dislike this show and that almost never happens. Also NPATGCO1812’s score and staging was phenomenal, Come From Away was sentimental and moving without feeling corny, and Groundhog Day surprised me by being better than I expected. I literally preferred every other show in the category from that year, I know a lot of people love it and that’s great but this is where it falls for me.

8. Once

I love the song Falling Slowly, and I think the actors dancing with instruments on stage was really cool. I think it was one of the first times it was done on Broadway, but I’m not sure. Other than the plot being a bit contrived and flat for me, there’s nothing I really dislike about this show. I just...feel nothing about this show. It’s fine, the music is good background study music, it just didn’t leave much of an impression for me.

7. Book of Mormon

So the songs in this show are absolute bops, and some of the wordplay is fantastic. I can appreciate this show for what it was trying to do. But ultimately, this show comes down to the humor, and you either like this style of humor or you don’t. I never personally found South Park to be my taste in humor. If you like South Park, you’re going to love this show. Even though I don’t find South Park funny, there were parts of this show I laughed at. But there were also parts that I cringed at and the cringe parts increased in hindsight. The songs are my favorite part: Hello, Sal Tlay Ka Siti, Turn it Off, Baptize Me, Mostly Me, I love those songs.

6. Fun Home

This show may have three Alison’s, which are all really good, but it felt like two plots to me. There is the story of Alison and her relationship with her father, and there’s the story of Alison’s self discovery and realizing her identity. These stories intertwine, but I personally find the self discovery and realizing her sexuality story much more interesting and compelling, and I also prefer the songs that are a part of that journey. Ring of Keys and Changing My Major are my favorite songs from the cast album. I read the graphic novel and it seems like it is really true to the spirit of the book. This and Memphis are the only ones I haven’t seen or seen a bootleg of, so I’m not really able to comment on the costumes, acting, choreography, setting etc, but for the most part I like what I’ve heard.

5. Band’s Visit

Another show that really comes down to taste. I liked this show when I saw it, the person who came with me didn’t. Part of the point of the show is rather than go to a big exciting city, they end up in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere in a desert where nothing happens. There are multiple songs dedicated to how nothing happens. And there are a bunch of mini story arcs with varying degrees of focus put on them, the focus shifts to much for anything to really happen. Which is the point, and it’s interesting, you just have to know what you’re in for. It feels like Waiting for Godot set to music, which if you like waiting for Godot like I do is a good thing. The romances are sweet. It feels like it should be in a more intimate off broadway setting, but I like it. The music is hit or miss for me, but the hits nail it out of the park. I like a lot of the songs but I love Omar Sharif, I could listen to it on repeat for hours.

4. Kinky Boots

This show is absolutely fantastic and I love everything about it. The fact that it’s at #4 for me was a shock, because this show is so good. This shows how strong the top of the list is in my opinion, because this show knocks it out of the park. This show has so much heart and sole. The costumes, especially for the drag queens, are stunning, the choreography like the boxing match and the conveyor belt dance are really cool, the acting is phenomenal, and the songs. The songs are so good. If they want to make you laugh they make you laugh, if they want to make you cry they make you cry, if they want to make you dance along belting out at the top of your lungs they are going to make you do that. Seriously, this show is so good.

3. Gentlemen’s Guide to Love and Murder

This just barely edged out Kinky Boots, because I feel like most people like and appreciate Kinky Boots, and I feel like Gentleman’s Guide is severely underrated and ranking it higher is going to let me talk about it even longer. This show isn’t as deep as Kinky Boots but it doesn’t try to be. What this show is, and why I think it’s underrated, is pure comedy. There are a lot of comedic Best Musicals sure, but the comedy is only part of it, but this one is wholeheartedly a comedy, which I feel is kind rare. A lot of things have comedy but it seems like not many are straight up comedy anymore. And the thing is... I’m not usually a fan of straight up comedy, like there are very few straight comedy movies that I enjoy, so the fact that I love this so much when I expected to only like it makes it even better. And as much as I call it a pure comedy, it’s got beautiful love song, great commentary, and a couple of twists that are fun even though you see them coming. The murders are really creative and funny. The characters are great, I love the gag with the Dysquiths where all of the murdered people are played by one actor. The acting, costume quick changes, and everything involved in pulling it off is so cool. I love the songs so much, I don’t think there’s a weak one in the bunch. And one scene may have one of my favorite bits of choreography of all time. It only needs three people, a doorframe and a chair. It’s not flashy or involves a million moving pieces like the costume bit does, but it is ingenious in its simplicity and comedic timing. This show seems largely forgotten by people, maybe because it’s not trying to be deep, but it 100% deserves more love than it gets.

2. Hadestown

If Gentleman’s Guide is one of the funniest shows I’ve ever seen, this is one of my favorite modern cast albums. This also hits a lot of my personal interests, so that definitely helps. I love Greek mythology, I love the anachronistic but also roaring 20’s setting, I love the genres of music they pull from, I love the oral tradition storytelling feel it has, it hits so many of my stylistic favorites that I naturally feel pulled towards it. I love the music, if you asked me to pick my top five, no top ten songs from this show I couldn’t do it. The casting fits the characters perfectly, and the songs match the characters so well. The lyrics are fantastic and the themes are both timeless and incredibly relevant. It feels like it was written in the past year or two, especially the song Why we Build the Wall, but it was written way before ‘Build the wall’ was ever a thing. And the design of the show is so incredibly effective, everything contributes to the feel of the piece and the function of the show. Everything seems so well thought out and crafted, from the costumes to the choreography to the script to the music, there is so much attention to detail and is so intricately tied together even though it feels simple, earnest and straightforward. Which to me is an incredibly difficult needle to thread. Like the famous Dolly Parton quote “it takes a lot of work to look this cheap”, it is such a complex show that looks so simple. And it’s so immersive, you fall into the story. You know how it ends, it tells you from the beginning how it ends, but that doesn’t stop you from feeling exactly what they’re feeling, from believing wholeheartedly that it could end differently despite knowing how it ends, it’s a masterful piece of art.

1. Hamilton

I doubt this comes as a surprise to anyone, even if I did technically make you Wait For It. I feel like calling it a cultural phenomenon is underselling it’s impact. There’s nothing I could possibly say about this show that hasn’t been said hundreds of thousands of times already. This show is a piece of lyrical genius, of musical genius too but a lyrical masterpiece. This show was like Rent was in the 90’s or Wicked in the 00’s, not only an instant classic that permanently affected the modern theater world, but outside of theater as well. I have loved theater long before Hamilton, but this show spoke to so many people outside of theater, made so many people fall in love with theater that wouldn’t have otherwise. It might not be my favorite show by Lin Manuel Miranda, it might not even be my personal favorite one on this list to see live, but nothing else could possibly take the top spot of this list for me. Who would have thought a hip hop inspired rap musical about a relatively ignored founding father would become the juggernaut it is. I don’t know what else to say that other people haven’t said already. It’s Hamilton, what else can I say?

[fairiesherefairiesthere]

Lover’s desire

Ships : Aizawa Shouta/ Yamada Hizashi ; Kayama Nemuri/ Takeyama Yuu

Synopsis: It’s a hadestown au, but you don’t need to know anything about the musical though. A little knowledge about Greek mythology (Hades and Persephone) might help, but I also don’t think that’s necessary. It’s just soft and Aizawa adopts 1A, but what else is new? 

Word count : 12 836

Fic starts under the cut :

There's a stumble in his step, probably because of an old wound that never healed quite right, but Shouta would rather die than delay his eventual arrival in the city any longer. The exhaustion that has formed itself as dark bags underneath his eyes is tugging at him from all directions, daring him to rest for just a bit. When he staggers past a comfortable enough looking hollow tree, he considers it briefly. It wouldn't really hurt, right?

But as he crouches down intending to take a quick nap, the wind picks up again. The bothersome, ice cold nipping at his skin quickly evaporates his will to stay there. With a bone-deep sigh he picks himself and his few belongings up again. As he walks as fast as his legs will allow him, he hopes that he'll reach the city before the storm swallows him whole.

Eventually, he arrives. Not unlike the slew of towns he visited before this particular one, the streets are empty and barren. Howling, the wind runs through the streets, warning the people that a storm is inevitable. Vaguely, Shouta wonders if this town will be erased from the maps as well.

Shaking his head, he gathers himself again. It isn't logical to worry about questions he has no answer to (though it doesn't hurt to be prepared for bad situations). Just like the wailing of the wind, his sole footsteps sound eerily loud in this abandoned town and for a long time, those two are the only sounds he hears. That is, until the sound of someone singing rings clearly through the air, drowning out the wind and drawing Shouta in.

Before he's aware of what he's doing, he's already moving in the direction of the voice. Only a fool would still find a reason to sing in times like these and if anything, Shouta would at least get some form of entertainment out of this whole thing. That's the sole reason that he's nearly running towards the joyous sound, he tells himself. It's got nothing to do with the way the song sounds oh so whimsical, but steady at its core. With the way the wordless melody nestles itself in Shouta's heart with promises of warmth, of a home.

His feet halt before an unassuming wooden door. When he looks up, he can see a sign with the word "tavern" on it, letters nearly faded out. With a jolt, he breaks out of his musings when he notices the song has stopped and he considers walking away. The reason he came here in the first place has just disappeared into thin air, so why should he enter? But then the singing starts again and this time it sounds even more inviting than the first time. Judging by the stomping of feet inside the tavern, the other listeners seem to think so as well. Shouta has never been one for parties, but the melody is simply to alluring to resist.

From the moment the newcomer walks in, Hizashi has his eyes on him. He can't pinpoint exactly what it is that draws him to the ragged looking traveller (or local homeless man. He isn't really sure). But his fingers slow down until they aren't plucking at his guitar strings and anymore and the silence when he stops singing is a bit overwhelming. The people that had dared to dance stopped too and the eyes of everyone in the room are directed at the man with his shoddy hair...with his shoddy everything.

Recognising the way the man tenses up, Hizashi shoots him a quick wink before resuming his song. Immediately, the crowd sweeps into action again as tension bleeds out of the room. Unlike all the other patrons, the man doesn't dance. Instead he lays his head down on a table and Hizashi, thinking that the other has decided to take a nap while he's giving a performance, feels a bit vexed.

Inwardly pouting like a petulant child, he continues his gig. The petulance disappears however, when he catches the tired eyes of that peculiar man looking at him on more than one occasion. Each time their eyes meet, Hizashi winks cheekily and after the seventh or eighth time, the man turns his head after Hizashi winks with both his eyes, like the proper dumbass he is. For a moment he thinks he's lost his chances with him, until he notices the red flush on the other man's cheeks. Apparently his dim-witted attempts at across-the-room-flirting are more charming than he thought.

As the night dwindles to an end and everyone except himself and the singer has gone off to find a sleeping place, Shouta moves to do the same. He is tired and he isn't going to force the blond singer to stay up the entire night either. "Oh", he hears the other man breathe as he turns to leave the tavern. With a raised brow, he turns around again. "Is there something you want?" he asks, perhaps a bit too brusquely. He knows full well that he's being rude, but it's better to stomp out this little spark in his heart with his own foot. He wanders from town to town and he knows that everything he has is temporary. There's no use in bothering this handsome stranger with fleeting feelings.

His words, brief and ill-mannered, do not have the intended effect as the man nearly trips over himself to introduce himself. "Hizashi", he splutters out and Shouta wonders what he's supposed to do with that one word. "Me. You can call me Hizashi. I mean, my name's Yamada Hizashi. With the former being the last name and the latter one being the first. Ya know."

Shouta does in fact, not know. But it's hard to ignore the man- Hizashi's hand after he nearly smacks Shouta with it in all his eager enthusiasm. With a bone-deep sigh, he drags his own hand out of his pocket and reluctantly shakes Hizashi's hand. "Aizawa Shouta. Call me Aizawa."

Completely ignoring Shouta's request, Hizashi calls him by his given name as he tries to make idle conversation. "So Shouta", he starts and Shouta doesn't even attempt to hide his eyeroll. "What brings you here?"

"Basic human needs", he flatly replies and Hizashi's eyes widen. "Love?" he whispers in a conspiratory voice, eyes dreamy and far away. With a snort, Shouta pushes the man's face away. "Food and shelter. The storm laid waste to the last town I stopped in, so here I am now."

"Here you are", Hizashi echoes before his expression turns thoughtful and then hopeful, cheeky even. "Come home with me", he says with all the courage of a naive, hope-filled fool. The question or should he call it a declaration startles Shouta and a little laugh travels past his lips.

The sound escapes neither his nor Hizashi's attention and Shouta ducks in his scarf to hide his reddening face. "Lover", he drawls and hopes Hizashi will catch the obvious sarcasm in his voice. Judging by the starstruck expression on the man's face, it's clear he doesn't. "You have a home? Some man you must be. Most people these would be lucky to possess a house and yet you, a simple singer speaks of having a home."

"We'll make one together", Hizashi breathes as he tucks a stray strand of hair behind Shouta's ear. "We'll build a home where you can lay your head and worries down and where we'll be sheltered from the wind. We'll built a place of love."

The innocence behind those words tell Shouta that Hizashi hasn't experienced a storm yet. That he hasn't seen houses and families been torn apart by invisible forces of nature. Still, he's endearing. Shouta wonders just how long he'll be able to keep up that sunny optimism of his. "Well then lover, how will you feed me?" Before Hizashi can answer, Shouta takes his right hand and places a kiss on his ring finger (being bold isn't an issue if he's gonna leave the next day), "lover", he mumbles and doesn't Hizashi turn a delectable shade of red? "With what gold will you put a ring on my finger?"

For a moment, Hizashi is completely and utterly silent. When Shouta lets go of his hand, he shoots back into action. "I'll do it with my song", he declares, face still red but the expression on it is more determined than Shouta has ever seen on a man. "I'll sing a song so beautiful, that the trees will bend down and grant us their fruits, one that will make the earth bare her treasures for us, so the finger you kissed and the one I will kiss right now will match each other with a golden gleam." Immediately putting his words into action, Hizashi lifts Shouta's right ring finger to his lips and places a feather-light kiss on it. Contrary to his fingers, roughened by playing the strings, his lips are soft.

Now, Shouta is the one who is stunned as Hizashi gazes at him through his eyelashes with too bright green eyes. He snaps out of it and quickly pulls his hand back. Feelings weren't supposed to become a part of this. Still, he's curious about Hizashi and his lofty promises. "Sing it then." He coughs roughly. "Your song, I mean. Show me the song that's gonna change the world."

For the first time that night, Shouta detects uncertainty in the man standing in front of him. "It isn't finished yet", Hizashi admits and Shouta can't even muster up the energy to sigh at that. Of course. Of course Hizashi is just another sweet distraction without substance that life has thrown his way. "Forget it", he grunts and moves towards the door, fully planning on leaving.

"No wait!" He hears Hizashi stumble over some chairs and then he hears him plucking at his strings. Whatever. Before Shouta can reach the door, the wind throws them open and the icy cold gusts bite at his skin. Bracing himself, he prepares to throw himself into it, in search for another place to stay.

That is, until Hizashi's lovely voice sings a soothing melody and the wind changes from icy nails scratching at his skin to gentle hands that spin him around and carefully put him in the chair across Hizashi. The dead flowers in the vase behind him start to bloom and he temporarily halts his guitar playing to place a now gorgeous red carnation in Shouta's hair. "The song isn't finished yet, but trust me. When we'll marry, all the flowers will be blooming and they'll liven up that lovely face of yours."

"Oh", Shouta brings out, stunned before he manages to gather his words again. "If this is what your unfinished song can do, then it'd be a crime to leave before I heard it in all its glory." He grins and shakes his head. "I can't believe I'm saying this", he sighs and Hizashi's pretty green eyes gleam with hope. Shouta offers him his hand. "C'mon lover (he still adds a bit of sarcasm, just to uphold his image for a bit). Take me home with you."

Shouta comes to love Hizashi (or maybe he's loved him all along). The world hasn't changed, the cold winter has come and food is still hard to find. But in a certain sense, Shouta's world has changed. Cold and small as it may be, Shouta has a home now. One he shares with a beautiful man who serenades him with words and a voice sweeter than honey.

But for all he's loving (and that's one thing Shouta would never be able to complain about. Hizashi loves him, that's a fact), Hizashi also has periods where he's absent. His body remains there, seated on their bare wooden floor as he absent-mindedly plucks at his strings, trying to complete the melody that has the capacity of changing the world, but his mind is too far away for Shouta to reach.

There's another thing that's bothering him. If he looks carefully, he can easily count Hizashi's ribs and on some days, he can't hear Hizashi over the growling of his own stomach. The temperature has also been dropping lately. They're in love, sure, but they're also hungry and cold and it's as though Hizashi's so concentrated on finishing his song that he doesn't even notice it. But all would be okay, he just had to trust Hizashi and his song.

Weeks pass by and Shouta has to travel further and further to find some scraps of food. Lately, Hizashi hasn't been joining him any more. He's singing till his sore throat shuts him up and snaps him out of his daze and all that's left is a heap of weak artistic bones with a worn-out but still sincere smile.

"Shouta!" he hears the man in question call his name. "Wait for me!" he calls out and of course Shouta does so. Almost slipping, Hizashi arrives in front of Shouta and he steadies him by grabbing his elbow. "Thank you for being my tower of strength, where would I be without you?" Hizashi smiles and Shouta can't help but agree quietly with him. Hizashi is a songbird, but birds that don't get fed die.

All afternoon, they comb through the woods and left-behind houses in search of food and blankets, but find only a handful of berries next to a train station. "It's okay", Hizashi says softly. "We're gonna be okay, trust me."

The loud whistling of a train mercifully interrupts them, so Shouta doesn't have to answer. He isn't sure how he would've answered either. He loves Hizashi, but he isn't sure for how long he can keep trusting a man that doesn't notice he's hungry until his shaky arms drop his guitar on the floor.

"Look", Hizashi whispers as a dark haired lady steps of the train, clad in...barely anything. "I bet she knows how to live", Hizashi jokes but Shouta's looking past her at the other lady behind her. She has long blond hair tumbling down her back and a stern icy face. A thick, black coat is draped across her shoulders. It looks warm.

"Well then Yuu dearest", the dark haired one says, all smiles without warmth. "I can't wait to reunite with you next winter!" Her joy remains insincere until she turns around and shouts: "Hey Tensei, we've entered the realm of the living again! Let's liven it up on top!" Without looking behind back, she jumps off the train. Following right behind her is a man wearing glasses, whose clears up as soon as he sees Hizashi. "Hizashi, my friend, play us a tune! Spring has returned!"

With Kayama Nemuri, the flowers and birds returns. It doesn't need to be said, because Shouta can recognise the goddess Persephone without her having to outright state it. Iida Tensei had been a trickier one, until he winked at Shouta and told him he was a 'messenger of sorts'. Apparently the messenger of the gods, Hermes, likes to call himself Tensei.

Winter disappears, but there's no spring to speak of, only a scorching hot summer. No one seems to care, but as people dance and drink the wine Nemuri (what's with these people and insisting he uses their given names?) so gracefully offers them, Shouta doesn't lose track of the way he's dizzy because of the heat and still hungry because of the dying crops. He brings it up to Nemuri once, but she waves him off and offers him some more wine instead. He isn't like her, he can't drink his hunger away.

Hizashi and Tensei, they talk about it too, but not when Shouta's around. Tensei likes to drop cryptic hints when Hizashi is working on that one particular song, steering him in a certain direction. Maybe the future result would be magnificent, but Shouta can't help but notice the already meagre hours of sleep his lover get diminishing and he worries. Hizashi may be the key to solving this situation, but a broken key still would not be able to open a lock.

Six months pass and the lady in the black coat arrives again on the train, looking bored as before. Taking the vibrant Nemuri with her, Takeyama Yuu or as Nemuri told them, Lady Hades, plunges the world back into the bitter darkness of winter.

It's on a fateful day, when Shouta is out to gather food, that it happens. A storm catches him off-guard and as the hungry claws of ice also known as the wind claw his jacket off his back and tear his scarf away, he shouts for Hizashi. Shouts for the man who can turn these icy gusts to a gentle breeze with just the sound of his voice. Logically he knows that there's no way the man will hear him, but he's disappointed when he doesn't show up anyway.

He doesn't know how long the storm rages around him, but when it finally calms down he's left with just his shirt and pants as he lays on a blanket of snow. It's cold. Where is Hizashi now? Where's the man who promised him a shelter and food? Who promised him love? Where is the love in letting your significant other go out in this weather? Bitterly, Shouta covers his eyes with his arm to hide the tears that are gathering there. He should've known better really. Time to gather himself and go, he doesn't need anyone else.

"You look cold", a detached voice says and Shouta removes his arm from his face and squints at the woman above him. "Take this", she says nonchalantly and drops a heavy jacket on his body. Embarrassingly fast, Shouta scrambles to put it on. After he's wrapped in the cosy, sturdy material, he looks up to the lady, who Nemuri referred to as Takeyama Yuu or Hades. She gives him a once over and nods. "You look like someone who knows how to work."

"Maybe I do", he says and squints at her. "It depends on what they're offering me in return though."

With a seemingly heedless movement, she brushes her hair behind her ear. The action pulls up her sleeve, highlighting her warm gloves and revealing the sparkly jewelry on her ear. She's obviously wealthy. "I offer you what you're looking for. A place to sleep and a meal every day. All I want in return is for you to be mine. Work for me in Hadestown." She stretches out her hand to him and he takes the time to think the offer over.

It's not as though he's leaving something life-saving behind. There is nothing here for him, he reminds himself and ignores the voice that whispers Hizashi's name. He doesn't need anything beside a sleeping place and something to eat, it's only logical to go with her. Mind made up, he clasps her hand. "Okay", he simply says.

Within moments of arriving at Hadestown, Shouta notices that several things are severely wrong. First of all, there are only children working there, digging in the ground and carrying stones almost bigger than themselves. The second thing is the vacancy in their eyes and their stiff movements. "What is going on?" he mumbles and the woman next to him shakes her head. "They all wanted something and they got it. In return they are working for me. It's only fair. Now off you go."

"Shouta! Where are you ?!" Hizashi had always thought of himself as a loud person, but he's apparently not loud enough, because his lover can't hear him. Trotting down another road that he knows Shouta often takes, he slips and meets the ground face-first. Fuck. "Shouta!" he calls out again and this time he gets a response, though it's not from the man himself.

"He's gone Hizashi", Tensei's voice says from behind him and Hizashi whirls around. "What do you mean gone?" (He tries not to think of his mom, who left him behind. Tries not to think of how much of a handful he is.) "Let me ask you a question first. How for would you go for him?"

Oh, that's an easy one. "I'd go everywhere, until the end of time if I must", he answers honestly and Tensei allows himself a little laugh. "You're so spontaneous, it's what makes you humans so charming. I know where your Shouta is and I also know that you won't be able to get there."

"Why not?"

"Because your arms would snap in two if you'd try to lift a boulder."

"That's fair."

"Anyway", Tensei continues, "Have you heard of Hadestown? The town where the lady of the underground rules over her workers with an iron grip? I've heard you can reach it by crossing a certain river, but you know, it's just rumors. Who knows if it's true."

The look Tensei is giving him implies that he knows that Hizashi will be able to get there by using this way and Hizashi is gifted enough to read between the lines. If Tensei can't tell him more, so be it. "Guess I'll have to check it out then."

"Wait." Interrupting Hizashi's stride by grasping his arm, Tensei sighs. "There's a big chance he won't be coming back with you. People go there voluntarily, Takeyama Yuu can't force them to. Keep that in mind."

"I will", Hizashi promises before he sets off to find Shouta. He most definitely will.

Shouta works hard, until his fingers are littered with blisters and the darkness of the mines isn't foreign anymore. Every day is the same down here. Starting early, all the workers get up and dig out precious jewels from the ground. The more gifted ones reform them to whatever materials the lady of the mines desires. They work without a break till nearly midnight, where they get served a meal and then are sent off to bed. Sleeping happens in a communal room, though woman and men are separated.

Jarringly enough, none of the kids talk. Even long after the guards have dispersed, they still won't utter any whispers among themselves. It's deadly wrong, but Shouta doesn't have the people skills to start any conversations. He tries though, but it's like talking to little human-shaped walls.

As days go on, Shouta feels himself becoming part of this human wall. Memories flee from his mind faster than he would like and the emptiness he sees in these kids becomes apparent in him as well. He isn't sure why he came here, but it doesn't matter. He was someone before he was a worker. It doesn't matter. There was someone who...there was...does it really matter?

The worker loses track of everything. His name. His age. Where he came from. Every experience that has made him the man he is today. There's nothing left that's specifically his. Wracking his mind, he tries to come up with anything that could assign some sort of meaning to himself. Who is he?

The storm in his mind is laid to rest when a gentle melody enters his head and weaves itself between his thoughts. Significantly calmer, he continues his work while humming the song that sounds oh so gentle and familiar. Something about it pierces through the foggy atmosphere in the mines and for the first time in a while, he rears his head and thinks clearly.

It's as though he sees the kids for the first time, though he knows that this isn't the case. This time, he carefully examines each and every one of their faces and when one set of eyes quickly looks away when he meets them, he knows he's found another fully conscious person.

The young man in question has sleepy purple eyes that try their hardest to hide of vitality in them and when the worker moves to talk to him, the younger one opens his mouth first. "People who don't even know their name shouldn't talk at all."

"What-" "Go back to work. Don't ask questions." The worker grabs his shovel again. It's time to dig.

The spell wears off eventually and the worker is more determined than ever to get through these kids, starting with the purple one. "Don't", he starts before the young man can say anything. "Why not?" he innocently asks and the worker grunts. "Because it's not gonna help anyone in the long run."

"I don't care. It's helping me right now. Go back to work."

The third time, his strange melody helps him out again. As soon as the worker had been released from whatever that damn mind control exactly was, he had started singing the song. His voice is by no means something to write home about, but it does the job of comforting him pretty well. When he looks around, he notices that the song has other effects as well.

Eyes no longer vacant, the kids are staring at him. "Hey dead-eyes", one particularly mouthy kid addresses him. "Where'd ya learn that song?"

"I wish I knew", he answers truthfully. "But the truth is that I don't know anything. I don't even know my own name." Little by little, the kids seem to be becoming aware of their own lack of knowledge and of course, they're freaking out about it. "Sit down", he sighs tiredly and miraculously, the children actually listen to him. "Good", he mutters and joins the circle. "Let's go over the things that we do know. You, mouthy brat, start."

Affronted, the blond looks at him and hisses something along the lines of: "You wanna go, old man?" Gaining no reaction, the blond huffs and spits out: "The purple fucker did something. I suggest we murder him."

Well then. Scanning the circle, the worker does note that the 'purple fucker' is missing. Luckily for him, he's been blessed with fast reflexes and a piece of rope, conveniently laid by his feet. Catching the kid, who had tried to escape in vain, he yanks the rope back. He also keeps the child close enough to him so the explosive blond won't get to him first. "Fess up. What's happening here?"

"It's just the town man, I've got nothing to do with your shitty memories!" Struggling to get free, the kid scowls. "All I do is tell you to get back to work. That's it. If you manage to stay awake and I mean really awake, not wandering around in a zombie-like state, you'll regain your memories eventually."

"Prove it", a dark-haired girl with vague frog-like features says in a matter of fact kinda way. "Tell us your name."

Obviously uncomfortable, the child shifts in the ropes. Noticing that they aren't going to let him go before he tells them, he rolls his eyes. "Shinsou Hitoshi. Now let me go."

"How do we know you're speaking the truth? Based on the fact that you are the only person in this group who still retained any memories of his time before Hadestown, we can conclude that you must have some sort of advantage over the rest of us. We don't have any reason to trust you and your shifty demeanour isn't helping you either. Furthermore-"

The green-haired child's muttering gets interrupted by Shinsou flatly saying: "You think I'd realistically choose this name? It sounds stupid as all hell."

"He's got a point", explodo-kill (it seems appropriate for the child) grins and a spiky, redhaired kid elbows him. "Dude, be nice. It costs nothing."

"It costs me effort."

A headache is coming up and Aizawa can't believe that there was actually a period in his life where he wanted to be a teacher. Children are a pain in the ass. Aizawa? Aizawa! The epiphany he's just had must've shown on his face, because the curious green-haired child gives him a peculiar look. "Did you notice something?" The child asks and Aizawa shakes his head. "No, I remembered something instead. I'm Aizawa." He pauses for a second. "Or at least I think so."

A blond kid laughs obnoxiously at that. "Oh my god, I don't even think at all and I know my name's Kaminari Denki." Abruptly he stops laughing and looks at Aizawa in a state of mild shock. "Oh. I didn't knew I knew that. Or know I guess, because I still have that knowledge. Verb tenses." He fingerguns awkwardly and somewhere in his soul, Aizawa relates to that, though the kid doesn't need to know that.

"Anyone else magically remember something?" Their collective headshaking confirms their lack of new knowledge. "So now what?" A young girl with cheeks reminiscent of apples asks and gives him a look of anticipation. Honestly, Aizawa could go for a nap right now. All he has is his last name and a song, there's no way he can help these kids with just that. Luckily enough for him, another kid starts rattling while making a lot of unnecessary hand gestures.

"I suggest we give each other some sort of names! It is hard to organise without being able to differentiate between our forces!"

"Good idea", the explosive kid says with a grin that just spells trouble. "You there, blondie! You're glittershit (excusez-moi?!) from now on. You there with the raccoon eyes, take a big fucking guess what we're gonna name you (I wanna be alien queen!). Next, frogface, glasses, round face, tail and dunce face."

Damn. This kid is really going for it huh. Aizawa decides to let him finish, because let's be honest, the nicknames are very to the point. It's impossible to not immediately know who he's talking about.

"Furthermore we have shitty hair (it's not shitty, it's manly!), fucking rock(...), sugarlips, octopus, jacking girl (please don't), plain one (I can't believe I'm actually disappointed), edgelord supreme (I thrive in the darkness), icyhot, ponytail and fucking Deku too."

Before Aizawa can ask where the nickname 'Deku' comes from, someone huffs right beside the boy assigning the names. "I don't like your names, but you completely ignored me, man. That's so not cool!"

"Invisibitch."

"Nevermind, feel free to just ignore me again", she pouts. "Kacchan, look at what you do to people", Deku sighs and pats the invisible girl on the shoulder. He has to pat the air for a bit first before he finds her, but Aizawa thinks she appreciates it nonetheless. "You want to fight, shitty nerd?" Kacchan bristles and Aizawa raises his hand. "Okay, that's enough of that."

Both of them look surprised as he steps in between them, as though they're not used to people breaking up their fights. Right now, Aizawa is ninety percent sure that these two have some history together and based on the things he's seen, it isn't a pretty one.

The sound of unsteady footsteps echoes through the cave they're all huddled in and their conversation falls still. "It's the drunk lady", the one dubbed icyhot says in a monotone manner. "I'd recognise those drunken footsteps anywhere", he adds and then she appears.

Waving wildly with a bottle of wine at the children, she laughs loudly. "Hello children, did ya miss me?"

"No", Kacchan spits out vehemently and the other children tense up. "Why the fuck don't we know shit you hag? Let us go!"

"I'm merely the bosses beloved wife", she remarks and it's obvious from the way she states it, that she doesn't feel that beloved. "Six months a year I stay here, do you really think I've got any say in all of this? All I can offer you is some souvenirs." Giving the bottle of wine a shake and shooting the kid a meaningful look, Aizawa decides to step in again.

"These are underaged kids, you can't give them alcohol. Nemuri wasn't it? Show some responsibility, please." Carefully, her gaze travels over him and she gives him a joyless smile. "Love truly doesn't last huh?" She remarks, catching him off guard. Then, she turns her back to him and winks at the children. "Anyway, let's hold a little party, I'm sure Yuu won't mind. After all, it's not that often that I'm in this sorry excuse of a town!"

Something about the way she behaves is intoxicating and exciting. Nemuri, for all that she's faulty brings life to the mines and with her permission, the children drop the stones and materials they were gathering and enjoy the festivities she's throwing. Meanwhile, she also gives them the souvenirs she had been speaking of. They're all various objects that seem to spread vitality that is unknown to Hadestown. Flowers, fruits and even a bunny for the quiet kid that resembles a stone.

Late in the evening, when Aizawa is pretty sure that all the children are asleep, she sits herself down next to him. "Here, something for you", she announces and presses a little bundle into his hands. His first instinct is to reject it, because there's no way that he trusts this lady. But the tired, genuine light that shines in her eyes convinces him otherwise and with a little bit of curiousity, he opens the packet.

Inside, he finds two objects. The first one, is a bird's feather and the second one is a red flower. Spotting the confusion on his face, Nemuri laughs softly. "You like songbirds", she whispers and for some reason he thinks that he isn't supposed to take that sentence literally. "As for this one", she continues and picks the flower up. "It simply suits you." With flourish, she puts it in his hair and he grunts at her. "If you think so."

Following that, she gives him a thoughtful look that lasts too long for him to feel comfortable with it. "What", he says perhaps a bit too aggressively. "Nothing", she quickly responds and stands again, brushing the dirt of her skirt. "Just thinking that it's time to go. By morning, you will all be thoughtless zombies again and it's no fun to stay and see that happen. My wife isn't much livelier, but at least I know her."

"Why did you marry her? You don't seem to like her very much. I've also heard rumours that she calls you frivolous and faithless."

When the atmosphere darkens sufficiently, Aizawa is suddenly reminded that he's talking to a goddess. She has the power to smite him into oblivion if she wishes to and he sincerely hopes she doesn't. "Of all people, it's you who asks me that", she breathes and he wonders what information he's missing. "Tell me, would you fall in love with someone who's full of life? And should you do, would you stay?"

Because he doesn't answer (he doesn't know how to), she shakes her head. "I'll answer for you. You wouldn't. You'd like them for a while, because they're fun and exciting. Then, your logical side would rear its ugly head and you'll drop them without a warning, because there's no use in this relation you've got. If you're merciful, you'll leave and they can move on and heal. If you're ruthless like my Yuu is, you'll string them on and won't even give them a shred of love. I know she doesn't love me, even if she says she does. Her words are as cold as this town she leads. And because I'm stupid, I can't let her go."

After her surprisingly emotional outburst she takes a deep breath. "I'm chained to this town and my wife with pretty looking necklaces, silver bracelets and memories that haunt me. I'm just as free as you are." With a brusque movement, she turns around. "The only reason why I'm telling you this, is because you workers eventually forget everything. Goodnight."

Before she exits, she stops at Shinsou's sleeping body and before she can shake him awake, the boy bolts upright. Big chance that that one wasn't asleep yet and listened in on their conversation. Watching carefully, he can see that the boy's tired expression changes to angry and then resigned before he lays down on the floor again. He'll have to ask what that was about the next day.

Waking up, Aizawa immediately notices that there's something not right. The children have regained their blank stares and he bites at his lip in frustration. Yesterday they made a lot of process and now he has to restart all over again. Is every day going to be like this? If so, Aizawa isn't sure how long he can go on with this.

Traipsing through the dark mine, he nearly stumbles over Shinsou, who's sprawled on the floor. Unlike all the others, the kid has a near feverish, attentiveness in his gaze. Sweat is running down his forehead and there's both fresh and dried blood under his nose and on his lips. Opening his blue lips, Shinsou asks : Hey Aizawa, what is going on here?"

His first instinct is to reply to the kid, but he knows that there is more to Shinsou Hitoshi than his skinny arms and bloodshot eyes. Obviously, the kid possesses some form of magic and Aizawa isn't about to fall victim to it. However, he also isn't going to turn a blind eye to someone who needs help.

Wordlessly, he helps the kid to his feet and tunes out the fervid stream of questions that leaves the boy's mouth. It's then that it clicks, that he knows what the condition is that Shinsou has to meet before he can gain control over someone else. He wants to ask the boy why he is doing this, what he hopes to gain. Before he can do that, Shinsou's eyes roll up into his head and he goes slack in Aizawa's arms. Around them, shovels clatter to the ground.

"Piece of shit!" Kacchan yells and Aizawa stops him before he can maim Shinsou. "Knock it off, he's clearly out of it."

"Here", the girl with particularly rosy cheeks says and offers him a handkerchief. "To wipe away the blood", she clarifies. The girl with froggish features hands him a pitcher with water too. "This might make it a bit easier."

"So why are we helping him?" Kacchan demands to know and Kaminari rolls his eyes. "Because he looks like he's dying, Angerbomb. Simmer down, won't ya?" At this obvious display of a lack of selfpreservation, multiple people watch in amusement as Kacchan moves faster than humanly possible. The only thing saving Kaminari is the guy with wings on his feet, who's way faster and hooks his arms under Kaminari's armpits, effectively dragging him out of Kacchan's path.

"I suggest we all stay calm!" he yells and uses his weird hand-chopping motions again. "Let us go back to working as though not attract the attention of the guards!" It's by no means pleasant, but it's sound thinking. Aizawa stays behind with Shinsou and the two helpful girls stay behind too.

As he gives them a questioning glance, the rosy-cheeked girl nervously shuffles on the floor. With a gentle gesture, the other girl pats her on the back. "You've got this", she whispers and the first girl nods, determination evident in the set of her shoulders. "Mister Aizawa!" she yells unintentionally loud and he winces.

"Sorry", she continues on a more acceptable volume. "My name's Uraraka Ochaco. I know why I came here." Sensing her nervousness, he gestures for her to continue. "Go on, I'm listening."

"I uhm... I came here for money!" she flaps out and her cheeks burn a bright red, as though she's ashamed. "That's quite logical, isn't it? This is an industrial town", he states plainly and she slumps in relief. "Man, when you put it like that..."

"You shouldn't worry so much." Gently, he gives her a little flick on the forehead and she giggles. "Got it, teach! But what I actually wanted to say, was that I wanted to help my parents financially, so I thought I'd take lady Takeyama's offer." Sniffling she admits: "I miss them though. I'd like to go back to them."

Oh. Oh no. Aizawa doesn't know how to deal with a crying teenage girl, especially not when another teenager is laying unconscious on his lap and a third one is staring at him with unblinking eyes that seem deeper than any pond he's ever seen.

"... Do you want a hug?" he suggests in the most awkward way possible. As soon as he slightly opens his arms, he gets tackled. However, Uraraka misjudges where exactly Shinsou is laid and as Aizawa pats the girl on the back, Shinsou wheezes and bolts upright after she accidentally kicks him in the ribs.

"Why", is all he says before he slumps back again. Saving Shinsou from hitting his head on the floor, the other girl quickly catches him. "Shinsou-chan", she addresses him, "you remind me of my little siblings." Then the realisation hits her and she does let go, dropping Shinsou. "I'm Asui Tsuyu." Her voice trembles slightly. "I wanted to help my siblings. Frogs don't do well in the winter."

She's quiet for a moment and then she carefully looks at the other children, who're working dutifully. "This isn't right. None of us are supposed to be here, we've got people waiting for us. We have to go home." Her declaration is said calmly and Aizawa can't help but like her. She states things simply and straight to the point, he can respect that.

Snorting, Shinsou sits up. "How are you going to leave? The guards will kill you. I'm surprised they haven't noticed your returning memories yet, but as soon as they do, it's game over." Ah, another realist. Well, more of a pessimist actually but Aizawa can definitely see where he's coming from.

"We're certainly not getting out with that attitude", he remarks dryly and Shinsou scowls in return. "Do you want to work in these mines for the rest of your life?"

Gnawing at his lip, Shinsou shakes his head, shoulders drawn tight. "No. But I've got no say in this matter. In this whole escape plan, you shouldn't think of me as an ally. You shouldn't think of me as an ally in any circumstance, actually." His tone is bitter and Aizawa wonders what's keeping the kid back.

"How about a neutral force?" Asui suggests and he can see Shinsou's head peek up in interest, even if he tries to hide it. "You won't rat us out unless you're forced to and maybe you could casually drop some hints about how we could get out. Completely by accident, of course."

Smirking, Shinsou shrugs."It's not like I could help it if that were to happen. No one can see accidents coming, right?"

Kids and their anarchy these days. Aizawa's a fan.

In the following days, they plan their escape. Surprisingly enough, these kids work incredibly well as a team. The only one who occasionally strays from that path is Bakugou, but for some reason he mellowed out after remembering his name. (My name is Bakugou Katsuki and if even a single one of you extras refers to me by another name, I'll fucking kill you! This was of course met by the group collectively going: "Sure Kacchan.")

Bakugou isn't the only one who remembers his life from before Hadestown. By now, it is easier to count the kids who don't. Those are only icyhot and karate-chop. Oh and Aizawa himself too, but he is determined to not dwell on that.

The day after tomorrow, the first three people will leave. They've decided to slowly leave in small groups, as to not attract any attention. Beyond the walls, they'll all wait for each other, so no one gets left behind. Aizawa has volunteered to stay with the last group. Knowing full well that this is going to be a tension-filled mission, he's not about to let a group of teenagers alone, wondering if they would make it out like their friends.

The morning of the great escape, the kids all discreetly slip something to the members of the 'first escape squad yo' as Mina cheerfully dubbed them. Yaoyorozu hands them little dolls (for luck!), Tokoyami some capes he found God knows where (revel in the darkness), Mina and Kaminari team up to hand them 'only the shiniest of rocks' (they work in a mine and Aizawa knows that they picked out the shittiest rocks in this space). The list goes on.

The first team consists of Midoriya (a wildcard, but mostly the strategical planner), Icyhot (a powerhouse) and glasses (he's fast). Their degrees of tenseness ranges from Icyhot's passive and emotionless expression, to Midoriya's brows that are drenched in sweat. "It's gonna work", the guy repeats to himself like a mantra and to highlight the seriousness of the situation, no one complains about it.

At sundown when the guards will switch, these three will swiftly escape. Before that, they'll work with the rest of them. The silence around them is heavy and oppressing, until Icyhot interrupts it with a quiet : "Ah."

Hagakure nervously laughs at that and with way too much fake enthusiasm, she slaps him on the back. "What is it?" Her voice has a slight hysterical edge to it and Aizawa hopes that Icyhot isn't about to say something socially insensitive. "It's nothing important", he says and tilts his head and furrows his brow. "I just think I know who I am. Was. Am. I'm not sure."

"That's magically good timing!" Mina whoops and claps in her hands. "Spill the deets hot boy, we want to know!" Kaminari echoes her. "Yeah hot boy, the people want to know!"

They're cornering him now and Aizawa, blessed with quick reflexes, yanks the fools back before they get scorched by the flames erupting from the boy. His bi-coloured eyes frantically scour the room and his finger twitch erratically. With slow movements, Aizawa reaches out with his hand, offering it to the boy. "It's alright", he whispers. "It's okay."

The flames only climb higher and the boy draws back. "No. I don't want to remember. I don't want to carry this name. I don't... I don't..." Deciding that he can't let the kid keep panicking like this, he crosses the room. Putting a steady and gently hand on the back of the kid's neck, he lets him hide in his chest. Trembling hands hold his sleeves in a steel grip and once more Aizawa gets hit by the realisation that he would do anything to keep these children happy and safe.

"Sorry", the boy whispers once he's calmed down and Aizawa lowers himself to his eyelevel. "Don't apologise, you didn't do anything wrong. Are you alright?"

Mutely, he nods. "Yes." He turns his head to face both Kaminari and Mina. "Todoroki Shouto", he blurts out and both of them give him a confused look. "Who's that?" Mina asks as though it isn't obvious. "Me. Also sorry for your hair", he adds as an afterthought, pointing at Kaminari's hair. A black searing mark graces his hair, the shape somewhat resembling a lightning bolt. "It adds to my charm."

For a while, the kids squabble meaninglessly, drowning out their nervousness as Aizawa fondly listens. As the evening draws nearer, their chattering quietens down once more. When the time for the guards to change draws close, they all wait with baited breath.

Unlike every other evening, it's woman's voice that relieves the guards of their duties. The thought of escaping while she's the only one in the way of freedom doesn't even enter their head as Takeyama Yuu stands in the entrance with a small child clinging to her arm.

"Good evening", she says and all of them look away quickly, hoping that she doesn't see the frustration in their eyes. "Shinsou, Eri wanted to visit." Timidly, the little girl lets go of Takeyama's arm and hops properly into their view. Her ruby eyes travel from person to person until they land unto a frozen-looking Shinsou. The shyness disappears like snow before the sun.

"Hitoshi!" She yells before running straight into his leg. Slapping Shinsou's leg in earnest, she hops from leg to leg. "Up, up!" Stretching her arms, she pouts until Shinsou kicks into action and swoops her from the ground. "Sup squirt."

Hoisting her on his hip, Shinsou listens attentively as the girl babbles about how she read a picture book and how she would love to taste some of the apples that she saw in there. With a blank look on her face, Takeyama steps close and boops Eri on the nose. As the little girl giggles, Takeyama asks whether she likes it here.

With big gestures, the girl nods. "Yes! There are no scary birds here and 'Toshi's here too."

"And 'Toshi is perfectly fine where he is, right?" Takeyama stares Shinsou down, who clenches Eri a little tighter. "He wouldn't be so cruel to leave, would he?"

With big eyes, Eri looks at Shinsou who quickly presses a kiss on her forehead. "Of course I won't", he shushes soothingly. "I'm not going anywhere without my favourite Eri-berry." She smiles at the silly nickname, worries eased. "I know that!", she declares confidently, but she does tighten her hold on Shinsou a little.

"Eri-chan, we should go again." Pouting, Eri shakes her head. "No, I wanna stay. I haven't seen 'Toshi in such a long time. Please lady Takeyama?" The girl puts on her best puppy eyes, to no avail. "No." It's a simple answer, but it's enough to make Shinsou put Eri back down and gently guide her to Takeyama.

"There you go, I'll see you later." Wrenching his hand out of Eri's, he turns to Takeyama. "Lady Takeyama, I have a request."

"What is it?"

"Go outside the walls and gather a bouquet of flowers for your wife, she'll appreciate it. Take some of your guards with you, for help." It isn't until he sees how robotic Takeyama's movements are, that Aizawa fully comprehends what Shinsou is doing.

As soon as Takeyama is out of sight, he grins at the boy. "Damn. What a strange accident. Nothing to do about it."

Eri tugs at Shinsou's sleeve. "Is this anarchy?"

"It is, squirt." She nods determinedly. "Good."

"Anyway", he says and looks at the stunned group of children. "Change of plans. Squirt and I are getting out too, because I don't want to be around when Takeyama comes back. I think it might be smart for everyone to book it."

Opening his hand for Eri to take it, Shinsou strides towards the exit. "Let's go."

For a declaration that confident, Shinsou regrettably doesn't get that far. So do none of them for that matter. As soon as they turn the first corner after leaving the mine, they stumble upon Takeyama, who's carelessly filing her fingernails. When they try to back away, she looks up and sighs. "Do you hold me for a fool, Shinsou?"

Right before his eyes, Shinsou loses hope and Aizawa doesn't know how he can return it to him. Their eyes meet and with a brusque shove, Shinsou hands him Eri. Not a moment too soon, because a giant hand plucks him from the ground.

Squeezing the boy tightly, the now giant Takeyama tuts. "This won't do."

"Don't hurt him!" Eri yells, tears welling up in her eyes. "Let him go!" She trashes in Aizawa's arms and he doesn't know what to do. Shinsou entrusted him with Eri and Eri obviously isn't going to give up before Shinsou is freed. Seems like there's only one option left. "Hold on little one", he whispers and as Eri does so, he mounts the lady in front of him.

Something behind his eyes clicks as he reaches the fist Shinsou is enclosed in. More accurately, was enclosed in. The fist disappears and as the three of them tumble through the air, Aizawa grabs Shinsou by his collar and whirls around mid-air.

Knowing that it's going to hurt, he aims his foot through a loop made of rope he'd seen dangling earlier. The loop goes taut around his ankle, effectively burning through his skin. There he dangles, arms full of kids and blood dripping of his leg. Fantastic.

A dark shadow rises up from the ground and snaps the rope loose. Aizawa curls around the children in his arms, hoping that he'll somewhat shield them from the harsh fall. The action isn't necessary however, as the shadow carefully puts them back on their own feet. "I saw it as appropriate to help out", Tokoyami explains and Aizawa nods respectfully.

"Who do you think you are?" For the first time, Takeyama doesn't sound apathetic. Instead, her icy cold anger makes the wind rise up and the temperature drop. "This is my town. Who do you think you are to disrupt my peace?" she repeats and Aizawa unconsciously places himself in front of the kids. She's not getting to them as long as he's around.

"You", she spits and Aizawa nearly gets blown away by the stream of cold that hits him full force. "I give you a place to work and this is how you repay me?" As she sweeps her arm to gesture at the crowd in front of her, ice rains down on them. Todoroki melts it and the show of defiance clearly irritates her.

"You're an ungrateful bunch", she sneers. "But it doesn't matter. I'll stomp this little rebellion into the ground." The world fades to black after those words.

Hizashi is tired and hungry and pretty sure that his feet look awful. They feel like all the skin underneath them has been neatly peeled away and Hizashi is not a fan of that particular sentiment.

He's been walking for weeks on end and finally, finally he's found the outer wall of Hadestown. However, he still has a river to cross and stones to get through. There is no way in hell that he's going to back down now though. He has a lover to find and apologise to. His vocal chords don't feel great and his fingertips are worn down.

Without hesitation they find his guitar strings again and he opens his mouth to sing, to coax the river to make way for him and for the stones to let him through. 'Wait for me Shouta', he thinks as he wheezes after he's sang his unfinished song, trying to desperately catch his breath. 'I'm coming.'

Aizawa wakes up with Jirou peering back at him. "Good morning teach", she drawls and he vaguely wonders why these pesky children insist on calling him that. It's better than Kaminari's awful suggestion of 'dad' though.

"Good morning mister Aizawa!" the only still unnamed kid yells and Aizawa groans in return. "It appears they have split us up! Do not fear though, we've already established a communication system."

Of course they did. Aizawa does his best to smother the pride welling up in his chest. Plugging her earphones into the ground, Jirou tilts her head. "I can't hear the others right now, something else is overpowering them." Furrowing her brows, she concentrates a little harden. Then, her face clears up and she gasps. "It's your song teach. The one that you sang to wake us up the first time. I've gotta admit, this man does it better though."

With a voice that sounds as though the gods have personally bestowed it upon her, Jirou repeats the melody that's whispered only in her ears. The words and notes fill Aizawa's mind and he longs. He longs for the original singer and the aura of security that surrounds him. Longs for warm love and sun-filled smiles. Longs for home.

Startled, Jirou asks: "You alright there teach?" Only then Aizawa notices the stray tear slithering down his cheek. With a harsh swipe, he removes it from his face. "Yes, don't worry about it."

Aizawa isn't the only one affected by the song though, because the kid with the glasses is staring into the distance, eyes misty. Then he slowly removes his glasses before taking a deep shuddering breath and breaking into tears. Sobbing, he curls up into himself. "Why did my older brother leave me here," he asks between sobs and Aizawa doesn't know how to answer that. He does however hold Iida Tenya until his sobs die down and he gets back to work with anger and disappointment simmering in his eyes.

The next day they get a visitor carrying the name Bakugou Katsuki, who's holding a sadlooking Eri. As soon as she spots Aizawa, she sprints over to him and clings to him without speaking a word. She doesn't need to tell him that she and Shinsou have been separated.

"This is the middle ground where mindfucker and I are gonna trade small people", Bakugou bluntly states and Aizawa shrugs. "Sure."

Iida and Jirou both remove themselves from the situation because neither of them particularly wants to deal with Bakugou. Said teen currently looks as though he's trying to eat a particularly sour lemon. "Tiny, can you shut up about whatever I'm about to say?" Eri nods dutifully and mimes locking her mouth and throwing away the key. "You know what? I'll go play with the ear-lady, she looks very cool."

After Eri has disappeared out of earshot, Bakugou turns his scowling gaze to Aizawa while fiddling with a smooth rock in his handpalm. Ah, so he's nervous. "If you even tell a single soul about this, I'll kill ya", he threatens and Aizawa represses the urge to roll his eyes.

With his shoulders high and tense, Bakugou admits that he isn't sure about leaving Hadestown. "Don't you miss living? The sun?"

"The sun's not a coward. It attacks me and leaves lasting marks, I can admire that." That's probably the closests Aizawa is going to get him to confess that he wants to leave, but he'll take it. "I just don't think it's fair of me to do so though. I mean, I came here so I wouldn't fucking bother people anymore, so it's contradictory of me to go."

"What do you mean by that?" Aizawa asks. Sensing that they are nearing the core of Bakugou's anger problems, he prepares for the worst. "Do you think I'm dumb?!" he suddenly yells. "Do you think I don't notice how fucking scared people are of me? That I don't notice that no one actually likes me? The only thing people keep me around for is my skillset."

Aizawa knows that the way Bakugou acts is in no way inviting and no one in their right mind would try to approach him if they didn't know him. Listening to his outburst, it seems like Bakugou is one of those gifted children that has been given two choices: swim or drown. Bakugou, being the perfectionist he is, of course chose to swim, effectively estranging him from his peers and drowning himself in imagos and expectations of others. It's logical that eventually he'd crack under that. However, Aizawa has to keep in mind that none of these things excuse the things he's said or done to other people.

"Bakugou, you need help." The teen's fists tremble and Aizawa gives him a gentle knock on the chest. "But at your core, you're a passionate and driven young man. I respect that. Get out of here as soon as you can and make something out of that life of yours. The fun thing about being young is that you have the chance to grow. Take it."

Bakugou's eye are the sizes of dinner plates. Then he scowls again and buries his hands in his pockets. "Like your shitty opinion matters old fart." His cheeks are slightly pinkish and Aizawa hides a smile before rapping his knuckles on Bakugou's forehead. "That's mister Aizawa to you, brat."

"Yes sir", Bakugou retorts sarcastically and kicks him in the shins. It's probably not the hardest kick he could give, but it still hurts like a bitch. Before he can kick the kid back, two new figures appear.

It's Shinsou and Kirishima, the former one holding the latter one with great difficulty. "Echange of small people", he huffs and drops Kirishima right next to Bakugou before sprinting towards Eri. At Aizawa's raised eyebrows, Bakugou shrugs and slaps Kirishima hard on the shoulders. Without blinking, the other boy takes it. "Look at this rock-hard head. He's not a weakwilled coward." As the blond and the redhead start their own conversation, Aizawa goes to find Shinsou.

The boy finds him instead and the first thing he does is thank him for watching Eri and asking if he'd be willing to do it again in the future. "Naturally", Aizawa answers without thinking. "But I think it'd be best for her if you two don't get seperated again."

Shinsou is quiet for a bit. "There is someone I'd like for you to meet", he then says hesitantly. Aizawa simply nods. "Lead me to them."

They move through the dead city, dodging guards until arrive at a shabby looking house. The door is firmly closed, but Shinsou crawls through one of the windows, Eri following him obediently. She gestures for Aizawa to do the same and after double-checking for guards, he climbs into the small house.

Inside, sitting on the floor is another teenager, although this one appears to be older than Shinsou. "Aizawa, this is Mirio, to whom Eri and I owe our lives. Mirio, this is Aizawa."

As Mirio swiftly waves away the praise, he shoots Aizawa a beaming smile and salutes. "Hi there!" he greets cheerfully, eyes not quite meeting Aizawa's. That, combined with their milky colour reveals the fact that Mirio is blind. Upon closer inspection, Aizawa can also see that his legs are thinner than they should be. Muscle atrophy reveals that the boy hasn't walked in a while. "We can't leave Hadestown without him", Shinsou firmly announces and Mirio's eyes widen. "You're planning to leave?"

Aizawa nods before mentally kicking himself. "Yes." For a moment Mirio's smile falls and then the blinding grin is back in place. "Man, don't bother with me. At least I've got some use here." He laughs in self deprecation. "You can't exactly dump me anywhere you'd like."

"How about your parents?" Aizawa suggest and Shinsou balls his fists at that. "The scumbags decided to book it as soon as their son lost his superstrength while saving a fuck up and a little girl." Mirio shakes his head in denial. "No, it was just hard on them, dealing with a change that big."

"That's part of the job description of a parent!" Shinsou bristles and storms out, furious. "I'll go after him", Aizawa reassures him before leaving the cramped house. Finding Shinsou proves to be a lot easier than he thought it'd be, because the kid is just sitting on the roof, anger burning in his eyes.

"It isn't fair", he bites out and digs his nails into his palms. "Good things should happen to good people." He turns to Aizawa. "Make it happen. Give them futures, please." The desperation of the plea catches Aizawa off guard, but not enough to not make him notice certain details in that statement.

"You didn't include yourself in that list. Do you not think of yourself as a good person?" Shinsou snorts and lets out a bitter laugh. "I brainwash people regularly", he says as though that explain everything. "And?"

"And? It apparently means I'm an awful person. On top of that I never lost any memories after coming here. Do you know what that means? It means that no memory I had was worse than Hadestown, because otherwise the town would've gotten rid of it. Not only am I an inherently evil piece of shit, I'm also an ungrateful brat."

The frustration and anger drips of his voice, but Aizawa can recognise the deep self-hatred and sadness underneath it. "You've just given me all the more reason to get you out of here. You deserve memories that are good, better than this wasteland that calls itself a town. You and your companions deserve a home." Aizawa knows that he can't dispell years of self-loathing with a few words but fuck, he's gonna get these kids out of here and give them all the support they oh so obviously need.

They can't dwell on the topic for too long though, because down in the streets, something is obviously going on. People are gathering in the centre of the town and the miraculous thing is that no guard has moved to stop them yet. "Let's check it out", Shinsou says and Aizawa falls into step as Shinsou leads him over rooftops.

Once there, they spot all the other children too, gazing at a blond man who's serenading a very charmed Kayama Nemuri. She has her hand placed on her chest and looks at the man as though he's absolutely delectable. When he has finished his lovesong, she sighs deeply and tilts his head up so she can look him in the eyes.

"Oh darling", she sighs, "When I was as young as you, my then wife to be sang me a song just as sweet. Now she builds mines and factories, somehow thinking that I'd be charmed by those. You want to find your lover?" The blond man nods and she laughs without mirth.

"Give those sweet dreams up. He's probably forgotten about you or replaced you with sparkling stones."

Aizawa looks at them, frozen stiff and feeling guilty, though he has no idea where the feeling is coming from. Below him someone scoffs and when he turns to look, it is Takeyama. "Nemuri, are you off with some charming singer again? How long will this one keep you amused? Are you never sated?"

She turns to Shouta, who still hasn't moved. "If you want a lover, you should shackle them with jewels. Even then, they'll still be unwilling to spend time with you", she berates, but Aizawa can't hear her, eyes trained on the blond with the guitar in his hands.

"Shouta", he breathes and without thinking, Aizawa, no Shouta jumps off the roof, landing in front of Hizashi. "Hizashi", he says with just as much reverence, before both of them move and smash their lips together. It's desire in its purest form, one hand tugging at blond locks and the other gripping the other's sleeve. Hizashi isn't much better, hands roaming from Shouta's shoulders to his back before settling on his waist. They both draw back to allow just the tiniest puff of air to be taken in before connecting their lips again.

This time it tastes sweeter and Shouta takes the time to rediscover his loved one. He can feel tears, but he's pretty sure that they are Hizashi's. Like, the full 20 percent sure. Somewhere halfway, this kiss turns into them just smiling against each other's lips. "I love you", Hizashi says and Shouta admires how easily he does it. How easily he marches into Hadestown with Shouta's name on his lip and a declaration of love ready to be followed right behind it.

"And I'm sorry", he adds. "I didn't notice that you needed other things than I was providing and I'm sorry about my lack of alertness in general. I'm deeply, truly sorry."

"Lover", Shouta addresses him and it isn't lost on either him or Hizashi that this is the first time he's used the term withouth sarcasm. "I'm sorry too. I should've said something first before running. I shouldn't have abandoned you without a word."

"We're both a bit stupid", Hizashi laughs and Shouta snorts in agreement. It hasn't even been five minutes yet, but Hizashi being near makes Shouta feel as though the sun is shining and the birds are about to sing. All his life, Shouta perfected the art of surviving, while Hizashi learned how to live. Maybe they can finally share their knowledge in earnest.

"I uhm", Hizashi falters a bit. "I still don't have gold for a ring or enough wood to build a big and comfortable bed. Hell, I wouldn't even be able to fill a whole wedding table with food", he rambles, insecurities evident and Shouta is both worried and endeared. Interrupting Hizashi's babbling, he places a hand on the other man's cheek.

"Love, I don't need a golden ring. All I need is enough food to not starve and a fire when I'm cold."

"I wish I could give you more, like I said I would", Hizashi admits and runs his hand through his hair. "I know", Shouta simply says and softly strokes Hizashi's cheek. The man's eye close as he leans into the touch. "But the times are what the times are. All I ask is that you hold my hand, that you are a steady presence in my life. You light up my life by just being you, I don't need more than just you. Well, just you being somewhat more attentive."

"I'll be so attentive that you'll find it creepy", Hizashi says determinedly and a breathy laugh escapes Shouta's lips. "Sure. Take me home with you Hizashi."

"We're gonna have to walk back into the cold though."

"I know." He meets Hizashi's hypnotic eyes and repeats himself. "Take me home with you."

"You aren't free to leave though", Takeyama says, arms folded over each other. "You signed yourself over to me. You're a worker of mine. Stop this spectacle at once and get back to work."

Her wife lays her hand on Takeyama's arm and shakes her head. "Yuu dear, you can't mean that. Look at them." The longing in her voice is evident and Shouta pities her a little bit. Life must be awful if your significant other of god knows how many eons has decided to not be emotionally invested in your relationship anymore. "He came here for his lover, do you think he'll leave without him?"

"Then he can work like the others. I wonder how long his twig-like arms will keep up."

Nemuri looks forlornly at her estranged wife. "Will you do me a favour? Will you give his song a listen? Let him and his lover go if you like it, tear them apart if you don't." The goddesses exchange gazes until Takeyama lets out a irritated sigh. "Let's hear it then."

"Before I start I want you to know that Shouta and I are also taking the kids if you like my song. Ain't no way in hell that I'm gonna turn a blind eye to child labour." (Shouta falls a little deeper into this bottomless pit called love.

After striking a few chords, Hizashi turns to Takeyama and his determined expression turns into a much softer and sadder one. Opening his mouth, he starts to sing:

Heavy and hard, is the heart of a queen

Queen of iron, queen of steel

The heart of a queen who loves everything, like the hammer loves the nail

But the heart of one, is a simple one

Small and soft, flesh and blood

And all that it loves is a woman

A woman is all that it loves

(Takeyama places her hand on her chest, as though she's suddenly rediscovered her own beating heart)

And Hades is queen of the scythe and the sword

She covers the world in the colour of rust

She scraped the sky and scars the earth

And she comes down heavy and hard on us

(Looking around her, she finally realises she's gone too far with her attempts to keep her wife close. She's made the place that should be a home to her wife for six months a year into a living hell. Not only for her, but also for the people that turned to her with hopes to find a better life)

But even that hardest of hearts unhardened

Suddenly, when she saw her there

Nemuri in her mother's garden

Sun on her shoulders, wind in her hair

(She had looked stunning, Yuu remembers it well)

And you didn't know how

And you didn't know why

But you knew that you wanted to take her home

You saw her alone there, against the sky

It was like she was someone you'd always known

(They had joked in the beginning, teasing each other relentlessly)

It was like you were holding the world when you held her

Like yours were the arms that the whole world was in

And there were no words for the way that you felt

So you opened your mouth and you started to sing: La la la la la la la...

(Meaningless sounds, but they had perfectly described how she felt. The pure exhileration at the prospect of holding the most beautiful, funny woman with a misshievous streak in her own arms)

The more she has, the more she holds

The greater the weight of the world on her shoulders

See how she labors beneath that load

Afraid to look up, and afraid to let go

So she keeps her head low, she keeps her back bending

She's grown so afraid that she'll lose what she owns

But what she doesn't know is that what she's defending

Is already gone

(That line hits her like a punch in the gut. With all her being she'd tried to make Nemuri stay longer than those six short months, offering her pretty objects but not once had it crossed her mind to change her tactics. She'd shut herself out in fear of getting hurt and as a result, had hurt everyone around her)

Where is the treasure inside of your chest?

Where is your pleasure? Where is your youth?

Where is the girl with her arms outstretched?

To the woman she loves

With nothing to lose

Singing la la la la la la la...

As the young man's voice fades into the air, she's faced with her actions and inhumanity of it all, the cruelness that she bestowed on others and her inability to meet her lover's needs. Nemuri gives her a sad smile and Yuu reaches out, carefully as though she's scared that she might scare her away. Nemuri however, was never one to be scared of her lovers and with a laugh, she takes her hand. Without them having to prompt him, the young man , Hizashi if she recalls correctly, starts another song. It's a sweet tune that invites them to dance and for the first time in centuries, Yuu and Nemuri dance.

Hours later the impromptu 'ball' comes to an end and Hizashi gives Shouta a nudge. "Look at them", he whispers, giving a nod in Nemuri and Takeyama's direction. "There's no way they won't let us go."

Having heard him, Takeyama nods. "That's the least I could do for you. Take the children with you." She waves at Mirio who had eventually joined the crowd with Eri because Shinsou and Aizawa didn't return. "Someone fetch him a wheelchair, it'll make the journey easier." Placing her fingers in her lips, she lets out a loud whistle. "Hey Tensei!" she shouts at the sky. "Take these people home!"

"I'll have to go too", Nemuri says and Takeyama's expression becomes blank again. "Don't give up", Nemuri whispers. "It's just six months, I'll be back before you know it. Let's try to fix this." Reluctantly Takeyama agrees. "Let me bring you to your other home", she offers. "I haven't spoken to your mother in such a long time too, I bet she hates my guts by now. Time to try to fix that."

Shortly after the two ladies have left, Tensei lands in front of the group and as Iida pushes to the front, Shouta notices how similar they are. "Brother", Iida gasps, "Why would you leave me here?"

"Yuu and Nemuri are friends of mine and you aren't born out of the same relationship I was. They promised to keep you safe from my mother's wrath , but I suppose that wasn't the case?"

"No, it wasn't!" Iida cries out and Tensei nearly breaks his younger brother's ribs with a crushing hug. "I'm so sorry Tenya. I'll take care of you from now on, I won't be neglectful to my duties as an older brother again."

The Iida's reunion is the first of many. One by one the children get returned to their parents and Shouta and Hizashi make sure to leave them with ways to contact them, should it ever be needed. In the end, they're left with three children, which is one less than they'd originally thought. (Todoroki decided that he would join his two siblings in their search for the oldest of them).

"So", Hizashi said, turning to Mirio, Shinsou and Eri. "Would you guys like to go home with us?" Eri puts on a contemplative face. "Are there apples there?" she asks, as though that's the most important factor. Shouta looks up at the trees, who just started to bloom. Spring has come.

"Not yet, but there will be soon."

"Okay then", Eri answers and takes both of their hands. "Let's go home."

[callunavulgari]

Year-In-Life | 2019

Or that annual New Year’s meme about yours truly.

1. What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before? Had abdominal surgery! I spent most of April either doped up or unconscious. Long story short, I had an ovarian cyst that they thought was twice as big as my fist. So they fast-tracked me to surgery, and discovered that while I did have an ovarian cyst that was pretty large, most of the issue was that my bowel had fused to my uterine wall. Or was it abdominal wall? Either way, my bowel was glued to where it shouldn’t be and very angry because it had a fairly large pre-cancerous polyp in it. Which I found out a week after the abdominal surgery, when I had to have a colonoscopy. Which leads me to...

Had to do three different bowel preps in less than a month! It’s really not fun, guys. But, I got a cyst removed, a polyp removed, a metric fuckton of endo removed, and got my bowel back where it should be. Also, they confirmed that I can have babies! Which I didn’t know I was so fucked up about until I started crying about it post surgery.

Oh, also I peed in a bedpan. That’s also something I’ve never done before. And and and, been sick on Christmas! - Adding Tanya later in this post means I remembered something else I’d never done before - jumped into a pool fully dressed. Then became... no longer dressed.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Still don’t remember what my resolution was which- hey, 2020 Heather! Your 2019 resolution is to legitimately lose weight (she says while eating cotton candy ice cream out of the tub) and quit smoking again. Also, maybe be engaged. But mostly, the weight and the smoking thing. 

As for 2019 resolutions- I can guess what they were, which probably boiled down to losing weight. I put on about 20 pounds after surgery and haven’t lost it, because shocker, abdominal surgery really fucks with your core strength. Pretty sure there was something in there about reading 100 books (done), beating 4 games (done), and write something original (done? technically?) and/or novel-length (negative). 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? High school people and a few old coworkers. Nick’s cousin and his wife just had their third kid though. I think it may have actually happened on Christmas. 4. Did anyone close to you die? No.

5. What countries did you visit? Alternatively, what is your favorite place that you did go this year? No countries. Went to North Carolina for our possible last beach vacation. In January we’re going to Vegas for our friend’s wedding, which will be interesting. They’re getting married on a ferris wheel by an Elvis impersonator. May also go to Maine this year, but not sure yet because I only have a certain amount of vacation time. 

6. What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019? Didn’t get a ring, yet. But we’ll see. We also didn’t get the house yet, so lets recycle those wants! Also, while we’re shooting big here, how about a better goddamn president?

7. What date from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Started my second big girl job on November 18th. Had surgery on April 12th. Not a whole lot else stands out. 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Got a new job! With more money and more responsibility and will look really good on a resume! Didn’t kill myself? Which sounds pretty morbid, but I had a lot of pain in my life earlier in the year. 

9. What was your biggest failure? Not... losing... weight? Because I really need to do that. The heartburn bullshit will likely go away. The sleep apnea thing will likely go away. Your health in general will improve. And you don’t even like food that much anyway!  10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I think I’ve had the flu twice this year and again, abdominal surgery, so yes. 11. What was the best thing you bought? I got nice clothes? Most of the other shit has been knick-knacks. I got more books. A new bookshelf!  12. Whose behavior merited celebration? I don’t know. Mine, I guess. I mean, 2019 wasn’t the worst, but it definitely has not been great.  13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? I have a friend. Let’s call her Amanda. Yeah, her. She’s blown us off a lot this year, which really sucks. The rest of it is her own decisions that only affect us because it’s inevitably going to affect her in a terrible way, but the blowing us off and only using us as passes for free food and ways to do her laundry really sucks.

14. Where did most of your money go? Surgery! My OOP may have been met in April, but the surgery itself was $48,000. I’ve only had to pay about $6,000 because my OOP was 5k, but that still hurts. And my dental sucks, which means I paid out of my ass to fix my teeth. Also, I bought way too many clothes and books. 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I do still appreciate having a job with decent money. The new job will have insurance after my 90 day probation period (yeah, because you can’t have health care for 3 months even if you work in health care because you’re new). I’m glad that I caught the polyp before it became cancerous. I was happy I could have babies. I got excited about the new His Dark Materials series and The Witcher series and Kingdom Hearts 3 and God of War, and probably at least a couple other fandom things.

16. What song will always remind you of 2019? Face My Fears. Curse of the I-5 Corridor. Hadestown soundtrack. Transistor soundtrack. Wasteland, Baby! album. Billie Eilish in general. Lark of My Heart. But mostly, Face My Fears and Don’t Think Twice. 17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? Sadder, probably? 2019 wasn’t great. ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter.  iii. richer or poorer? Technically probably on par with where I was last year? I didn’t save quite as much as I wanted to with the surgery happening. Also, my car needed some pricey repairs this year. 18. What do you wish you’d done more of? I do wish I’d written more this year, but I wrote a lot in October. Possibly more than the last two years combined, which was nice. And I read a lot. I kind of wish I slept more. Or ate better. Or worked out more. I’m just really tired this year.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Spent less time with doctors? But I mean, taking care of myself is good and I’ve never had that option before.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Spent it mostly sleeping. We got a bug that was either a really bad cold or a flu, so I’ve spent the last week generally shitty and sweaty and tired. First year that we haven’t been able to do Christmas basically at all. But we spent the hours between 6pm on Christmas Eve and 10am Christmas morning have the most restless goddamn sleep in the world and then opened presents and watched Love Actually and some television (the last two episodes of the Witcher!) while kind of napping on the couch, and ordered Chinese because it was hungry and the only thing open. 21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? Think I’m going to make the pirozki on Sunday, and then we’re doing a gift exchange with some of our friends at his mom’s house. 22. Did you fall in love in 2019? Eh. Still love him.  23. Best month for you this year? Clearly me having a good 2018 while everyone else had a shitty one guaranteed 2019 to be shit, because I honestly don’t fucking know. October was nice. So was August. But fuck most of the rest of it.

24. What was your favorite TV program? Of just 2019? Russian Doll, Glow, The Dragon Prince, Good Omens, Schitt’s Creek, The Terror, Chernobyl, Buzzfeed Unsolved, She-Ra, His Dark Materials, The Witcher... 2019 may have been a meh year, but it had some good shows. Of those, I think my favorite was probably either The Witcher or Good Omens, with His Dark Materials, Russian Doll, and The Terror tying for third. 25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Eh.

26. What was the best book you read? Red, White, & Royal Blue was probably my favorite. I also read Sanderson’s books this year though, which were also absolutely amazing. Mistborn and The Stormlight Archive were wonderful. It was a pretty great year for books too. Books and TV, well done 2019. Middlegame, The Ninth Gate, a lot of rereads. Best one was still Red, White, & Royal Blue though. 27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Do Utada Hikaru’s new Kingdom Hearts anthems count? Because Spanish Sahara by Foals, Obstacles by Syd Matters, the new Hozier album, and the Hadestown soundtrack were all wonderful musical discoveries. 28. What did you want and got? I don’t know. New clothes? A laptop? Confirmation that my ovaries work?

29. What did you want but didn’t get? Well, I lost the bet with Brandon. No ring by the end of 2019. No kids, either, but we aren’t quite there yet. No house. No perfect health? Is that a thing?

30. What was your favorite film of this year? I liked Into the Spiderverse a lot. Detective Pikachu. Rocketman.Frozen 2. Endgame was all right. I didn’t hate the new Star Wars. Toy Story 4. IT. It wasn’t a super great movie year for me.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? The big 3-0. It was all right. The night before we went to Fujiyamas with a couple of our friends, then on my birthday we had breakfast at First Watch, did some Christmas shopping, and went to the Zoo Lights a little after 5. Froze to death because it was snowing and shocker, when snow melts you get wet, but it was nice. Then had a late dinner at Mackenzie River, because it was one of the only places still open and close to our place.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Hah! A better president and a ring is the only thing that I didn’t get from my wishes last year. ----Hmmmmm 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018? I did not give up and buys Scrubs. Instead I have a perhaps slightly oversized work appropriate selection of jeans (for Fridays), work slacks, blouses/sweaters, dresses, and skirts. I spent a little too much on clothes this year. I blame discovering Torrid. 34. What kept you sane? Reading was really, really great this year. - STILL leaving this answer, three years running! 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? David Tenant made a shocking comeback after Good Omens aired. 36. What political issue stirred you the most? FUCK DONALD TRUMP IN THE EAR 20156789. —– Ayyyyy, this was my response from last year, and apparently also the year before and the one before! Hello past me’s, don’t worry, it’s still getting worse. 37. Who did you miss? Myself. Also, my brother, who is still in jail almost a year later and still no fucking trial. 38. Who was the best new person you met? I don’t know. Oh! I do know! I really like Tanya. 

39. Talk about a new friend that you made this year: Tanya is awesome and pretty and fun and possibly at least a little bit crazy, but we all fucking are, come on. She got to come with us on vacation this year and it really made it interesting. Also, Shay and Alicia. I knew them last year, but got to know them pretty well this year.

40. Post a picture from the beginning of the year:

Took this one about 20 minutes after midnight on January 1st, 2019 after my first successful round of Battleshots. The hat went to the winner. It is not the most flattering picture, because I had been drinking already before I had to take four shots of Satan’s cinnamon liquor.

41. Post a picture from the end of the year:

Taken on my birthday, at the zoo. Again, snow melts.

42. A memorable meal discovered this year? Not sure? There’s not a whole lot of new food we haven’t tried. One of the pharmacists brought in some authentic Indian food for one of the potlucks we had and I don’t remember what it was called but it had rice and eggs and was amazing.

43. What was your favorite memory this year? I don’t know. We saw both Hamilton and Les Mis this year and they both reduced me to tears. I also had some good moments with books and tv shows I watched with Nick.

44. What are you excited for next year? There’s a couple new books. The election. Some tv shows, I think? Games? I don’t know, man. I’m trying not to come off as horribly depressed but I am kind of pretty depressed and nobody will ever know because the only person who ever gets this far into reading these things is me, so- hello 2020 me, you were really sad on December 26th 2019 and honestly for most of the year, so I sure hope 2020 is the year that we fucking seize life by the horns or however that saying goes.

45. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019: I feel like my message from last year is fucking taunting me. Legit though, this is not the worst thing you’ve ever been through. You have a boyfriend who loves you, two wonderful cats that better not fucking die anytime soon, and like, I don’t know, working ovaries. A job. A car. An apartment that has a kind of shitty kitchen and a bath tub that might as well not exist, but is still an apartment! Which is more than some people have! 

I guess my message from last year (it gets better) is in almost direct opposition of this year, which is basically: it could always be worse. 46. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: Feed me sunlight, feed me air In a place where nothing matters Feed me truth and feed me prayer

(seriously, deliriously happy 2018 me quoting singin’ in the rain is taunting me wtf)

First Fandom of 2019: January of 2019 was pretty solidly Detroit Become Human. It hit me hard. Favorite Main Character of 2019: Jonathan Sims. I was a slut for the Archivist in 2019. Favorite Villain of 2019: Elias from The Magnus Archives, maybe? My only other response would be.. dun dun dun, Ben Solo aka Kylo Ron or whatever Favorite M/F Couple of 2019: I... am back on my Reylo bullshit. Favorite F/F Couple of 2019: Can I say Villanelle and Eve even if I didn’t really dip into the fandom? No? Okay, Catra and Adora. Favorite M/M Couple of 2019: Okay, so the three that got me this year was Hank/Connor, Jon/Martin, and Ryan/Shane.  Fandom That You Never Expected To Get Into: Um, Buzzfeed Unsolved. Never would have guessed that one. Also like, while I would have expected Detroit Become Human I never would have guessed my favorite ship. Fandom That Made An Unexpected Comeback: Sigh. Twas that Reylo smacking me in the face at the tail end of 2019. Fandom That Inspired The Most Crack: Insert shrug? I read a weird Buzzfeed Unsolved fic above Mothman giving the guys sharable dreams (that were sometimes weird and sometimes sexy) until they boned. Last Fandom of 2019: Sighing again. Reylo. Though Yuletide has made it so I’ve read a lot of Queen’s Thief stuff. Favorite Fandom of 2019: I think that Buzzfeed Unsolved was my favorite purely from a fic standpoint, but Detroit Become Human and The Magnus Archives were both really great too.

[maddie-grove]

Bi-Monthly Reading Round-Up: March/April

PLAYLIST

“Hey, Little Songbird” from Hadestown (The Wager)

“New Slang” by the Shins (Spinners)

“Auto de Fé” from Candide (October Wind)

“Let’s Generalize about Men” from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (Mrs. Martin’s Incomparable Adventure)

“Juice” by Lizzo (Shrill)

“Love’s Been Good to Me” by Frank Sinatra (Sex and Violence)

“Heroes” by David Bowie (Cracker Jackson)

“Listen to Her Heart” by Tom Petty and the Hearbreakers (The Cybil War)

“Satellite of Love” by Lou Reed (The T.V. Kid)

“Distant Shores” by Chad and Jeremy (Love’s Willing Servant)

“Hast Thou Considered the Tetrapod?” by the Mountain Goats (The Cartoonist)

“Ghost World” by Aimee Mann (Summer of the Swans)

“Floating Vibes” by Surfer Blood (Not the Duke’s Darling)

BEST OF THE BI-MONTH

The Wager by Donna Jo Napoli (2010): Don Giovanni de la Fortuna, a nineteen-year-old nobleman in medieval Sicily, loses his entire fortune to a tidal wave and soon finds himself on the brink of starvation. That’s when the Devil comes knocking with an offer: endless money for the rest of his life if he doesn’t bathe, cut his hair, shave, or change his clothes for three years, three months, and three days. This is a retelling of a lesser-known Sicilian fairy tale and, next to the sublime Breath, it’s Napoli’s best work. Instead of taking the easy route of making Don Giovanni a stupid brat who learns to be nicer and more frugal, she complicates things by making him sweet and resourceful from the beginning, as well as callow and somewhat thoughtless. (His first action after seeing the damage wrought by the tidal wave is to go out and help bury the dead for three straight days.) This makes the message of the book more powerful; if someone deep-down good and intelligent can stand to think more about others and help the less fortunate, then clearly that lesson applies to everyone, not just the worst sort of rich people. Don Giovanni’s unprocessed grief over his long-dead parents and longing for human connection are also very affecting.

WORST OF THE BI-MONTH

Spinners by Donna Jo Napoli and Richard Tchen (1999): In medieval-ish Scotland, a poor tailor longs to marry his sweetheart, a spinner, but her father will only consent if the tailor can show he’ll be a good provider. The tailor tries to make a dress that appears to be made of gold and succeeds; however, he still loses his sweetheart to a rich miller and his health to a magic spinning wheel (as one does). Years later, the sweetheart’s daughter, now a skilled spinner in her own right, finds herself in trouble when a king gets the wrong impression about her being able to spin straw into gold. File this one under “cool idea, half-assed execution.” After a certain point, Napoli seems to run out of her own ideas and just follows “Rumpelstiltskin” to its original conclusion. This wouldn’t be great for any fairy-tale retelling, but the ludicrous “Rumpelstiltskin” needs more reworking than most. Also, the tailor’s sweetheart is such an ableist tool! I’d get it if she chose the rich miller out of concern for financial security, but she just dumps the tailor because the magic spinning wheel basically gave him a supernatural stroke and she thinks it made him evil? You can do better, baby!

REST OF THE BI-MONTH

The Cartoonist by Betsy Byars (1978): Alfie Mason, a quiet eleven-year-old, takes refuge from his unhappy family in the tiny attic of his ramshackle house, drawing faintly absurd cartoons. Then his ne’er-do-well older brother Bubba loses his job, prompting a way-too-excited Mrs. Mason to decide to renovate the attic into a bedroom...so Alfie barricades himself in the attic and throws the family into chaos without saying a word. I first read this book when I was eleven, and even then I found it deeply upsetting. Mrs. Mason seems incapable of seeing anyone but Bubba as a full human being, and she never regrets hurting Alfie or her daughter Alma in order to benefit her eldest. The best Alfie and Alma can do is call her out on it--Alfie through his silent protest, Alma by finally standing up for herself and her little brother--and try to move on. It’s certainly an unvarnished message for a middle-grade novel, but it’s not a bad one, given that some parents are just like that.

Shrill by Lindy West (2016): In this memoir, Lindy West reflects on her personal experiences with fatphobia, the general strangeness of having a human body, abortion, the ethics of comedy, and Internet trolls, among other subjects. This book was genuinely inspiring and amusing to me at a time when I greatly needed a lot of confidence and some laughs, and for that I am eternally grateful. The humor can feel very social-media-circa-2015, but there are worse things than a book capturing a specific moment.

Cracker Jackson by Betsy Byars (1985): Eleven-year-old “Cracker” Jackson Hunter realizes that Alma, his beloved former babysitter, is being physically abused by her husband. Even though his divorced parents forbid it and Alma herself warns him against angering her husband, he tries his best to help her, with mixed results. By all rights, this middle-grade novel should be a tonal mess--Jackson and his best friend Goat get involved in some legit Wacky Schemes--but instead it’s a moving portrait of a kid who has to deal with gut-wrenching adult realities while also navigating sixth-grade drama. I also loved Jackson’s three parental figures. They’re all flawed--Jackson’s mom is a worrywart about stuff that doesn’t matter, his dad can’t hold a conversation with him without lapsing into Dracula impressions, and Alma sometimes treats him more like a peer than a kid--but they all clearly care about him and try to make things okay. 

Not the Duke’s Darling by Elizabeth Hoyt (2018): Years ago, a horrific murder and a dubious attempt at revenge tore apart the lives of Christopher Renshawe and Lady Freya de Moray. Now he’s a widowed duke with severe claustrophobia and a blackmailer on his case, while she’s an undercover spy for a secret society of Scottish witches who help women. (Awesome.) (Also some of them are lesbians.) When they end up at the same house party, she vows to keep hating him for wronging her family, but does that last long? No, because they’re reasonably good at communicating and can appreciate each other’s goals! This spooky Georgian romance didn’t knock my socks off, but it’s a good start to Hoyt’s new Greycourt series and it has a light touch with the serious issues it handles.

Mrs. Martin’s Incomparable Adventure by Courtney Milan (2019): Violetta Beauchamps, a sixty-nine-year-old* bookkeeper, is cheated out of her pension by her landlord boss. In desperation, she hatches her own retirement plan: swindling Bertrice Martin, a wealthy seventy-three-year-old widow, by pretending to be her insolvent nephew’s landlady. Bertrice has refused to pay her nephew’s debts on principle, but she’s willing to make an exception if Violetta will help pester him into vacating his lodgings. Shenanigans and old-lady romance ensue. This mid-Victorian-set romance novella is like an ambiguous image (for example: that picture that’s either a vase or two faces in profile). Look at it as the tale of two L.M.-Montgomery-style elderly women falling in love, and it’s delightful; look at it for deep social commentary, and it’s pretty simplistic and sometimes even callous. I enjoyed it, but it only works on certain levels.

Summer of the Swans by Betsy Byars (1970): Lately, fourteen-year-old Sara Godfrey has been feeling awkward and out of charity with everyone: her absentee father, her plainspoken aunt, her beautiful older sister, the other kids at school, and even her little brother Charlie, who has been mostly nonverbal and easily disoriented since sustaining serious brain damage during a childhood illness. When Charlie goes missing in the night, though, her only thought is to find him. Despite loving Byars, I avoided this Newberry winner as a kid because it looked kind of boring. It is a little sedate in a classic-American-coming-of-age-story way--part “The Scarlet Ibis,” part Judy Blume--but I still loved Sara, who is always ready to throw down, and I found the depiction of Charlie to be surprisingly sensitive for the time. (The language is outdated, but the passages from Charlie’s POV aren’t condescending, plus he isn’t killed off, as I initially feared.) The descriptions of the coal-ravaged West Virginia countryside are also very evocative.

The TV Kid by Betsy Byars (1974): Lenny, a preteen living with his single mom at the kitschy Kentucky motel she owns, struggles in school and has no friends. (His family moves around a lot and he probably has a learning disability.) He has two sources of solace: watching TV and sneaking into the abandoned lake houses in his neighborhood. One day, though, his favorite hobbies get him into trouble. This was one of my favorite Byars books as a kid, even though I was not familiar with the TV landscape of 1974. I liked it a little less this time, but not because it was dated; instead, I was disconcerted by how pro-getting-bitten-by-a-rattlesnake it is. Also, a significant portion of the story is devoted to a child suffering horrible pain from a snakebite, which is harder to take as an adult reader. Still, it’s got some of that classic Byars melancholy.

The Cybil War by Betsy Byars (1981): Eleven-year-old Simon has had a crush on his classmate Cybil for years, because she does awesome stuff like advocate for more active roles for girls in the yearly school pageants. He’s not inspired to act on his feelings, though, until his awful best friend Tony decides he likes Cybil and starts talking shit to her about Simon. There’s a lot to like about this book. Cybil, with her nonchalant confidence and kindness, is a wonderful character, and Simon’s thorough admiration for her is adorable. I also like how Byars ties Simon’s complicated feelings about his deadbeat dad to his efforts to navigate small-scale fifth-grade drama; both weigh heavily on him, and Byars is never condescending about this. Yet the book’s not Byars’s best, mostly because of the lack of generosity towards Cybil’s fat friend Harriet and, to a lesser extent, Tony. 

Sex and Violence by Carrie Mesrobian (2013): Seventeen-year-old Evan doesn’t do serious relationships, instead preferring to hook up with girls and ghost them when he starts having feels. (His family moves around a lot and he’s got some trauma.) Then one girl’s jealous ex orchestrates a horrific assault on them both, leading Evan’s distant widowed dad to take his traumatized son back to their Minnesota hometown. It turns out okay. I liked this novel a lot more once I accepted it as an intentionally messy coming-of-age novel, rather than an issue novel...but it was still a little too messy for its own good. I felt like I was supposed to condemn Evan for having casual sex, something that’s both morally neutral and natural enough for a teen who moves every year, yet the narrative all but endorses his contempt for lower-class girls. I was also uncomfortable with the revelation that Evan was a survivor of statutory rape. It seemed like he was being punished by the narrative only for hyper-sexuality that clearly stemmed from trauma--with a physical assault with some strong sexual implications, no less--but let off the hook for his thoughtless middle-class-boy prejudices. I did feel for him, though, and that carried me through most of the book.

October Wind by Susan Wiggs (1991): In late-fifteenth-century Spain,  Cristóbal Colón (aka Christopher Columbus) tries to convince Queen Isabella to fund a westward expedition. Meanwhile, nobleman Joseph Sarmiento learns an enormous secret about his background and must decide whether to alter the course of his life. During this time, Rafael Viscaino, a young scribe, strives to rise in the world while his friends, aspiring doctor Catalina and cheerful but troubled half-Roma Santiago, have their own struggles. This historical novel (which just barely qualifies as a romance) has a lot of potential, but it wastes too much time on Columbus and Isabella, plus it gives them more credit than they deserve. Wiggs should’ve focused on Joseph, the sexiest and most likable character, and made more of his eventual relationship with Anacaona, a Guanahani woman. Or else she should’ve just made it a poly romance with Rafael/Catalina/Santiago, which she comes this close to doing.

Love’s Willing Servant by Avis Worthington (1980): Left penniless by her father and betrayed by her childhood sweetheart, Lettice Clifford decides to take herself to her sister’s home in colonial Virginia and get a rich husband. She’s surprised to find herself sharing a ship with Geoffrey Finch, a neighbor who has been betrayed by his evil twin and sold into indentured servitude. When his indenture ends up getting bought by her brother-in-law, they grow closer, but multiple creepy people and Bacon’s Rebellion threaten their love. Maybe I’ve just seen too much, but I was pleasantly surprised by the relative inoffensiveness of this Old School romance. Geoffrey is a reasonable person, there’s not a sexual assault every other chapter, and the racism issues are more “the black characters should be more central” than “this is just a defense of slavery” or “calm down with the n-word, Quentin Tarantino.” These small mercies aside, I also enjoyed the absolutely bonkers plot and the use of historical details. I didn’t care much for Lettice, though, because she’s usually either boring or kind of a dick. 

*Nice.

[susandsnell]

whaaat Hadestown sounds awesome!!! i’ll definitely check both those out but it sounds like Hadestown is like, the style of my dreams. also anything that starts as a folk opera is awesome bc i love the concept of a folk opera. follow up: i’ve seen some things about Be More Chill and somehow missed its jump to Broadway? what’s it about?

Sorry I took a day to get back to you, musical anon, but I just had to write my penultimate final first thing this morning! Hadestown is the style of everyone’s dreams, and I really hope you like it when you do check it out. It’s incredibly unique. 

As to your second query, permit me to have some obnoxious gif usage because life is short and I am now permanently on my bullshit. And, well. You just asked me, Coco, about Be More Chill.

WELCOME TO HELL. YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE NOW. 

(Festive, right?) 

So! 

Be More Chill is a very loose adaptation of a (vastly different and quite offensive) 2004 novel by the same name. It did the work of my dreams, which is combine my two favourite genres, science fiction and musical theatre, in a big way, while also stealth being a narrative about mental health, recovery, friendship, love, and sexy computers.  Also, the songs are absolute bops and the music style is contemporary but still unmistakably Broadway. It’s also openly inspired by Little Shop of Horrors (while also being very much in the vein of other wacky, culty musicals like Reefer Madness, a bit of Rocky Horror thrown in, etc), which is a major plus. 

It’s a darkly hilarious, sci-fi-horror-teen drama-romance-musical, in short. 

In long??? A little gist: 

So, our leading man, Jeremy Heere, is a (canonically Jewish! Canonically Jewish! CANONICALLY JEWISH!!!) typical high school geeky outcast who struggles with severe anxiety, self hatred, and a vast panoply of other issues. He’s badly bullied, only has one friend, Michael Mell, who is quite literally the savior of the universe, and crushes on the local theatre kid (and a literal queen), Christine Canigula. In an effort to impress her, he takes the advice of the local bully, Rich, and buys a pill from the back of a Payless shoe store called a SQUIP (short for Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor), which, if ingested and activated by Mountain Dew (just go with it I promise it’s worth it), installs a computer chip in his brain that can manifest the illusion only he can see of a personification that is an intensely attractive person (has been cast as multiple genders depending on the production!!!) who will instruct him on what the right thing to do or say is so that he can overcome his perceived social and personal failings, and improve himself, and maybe get the girl. 

Of course, this thing goes evil, and absolute epic mayhem ensues. 

Where do I even start with what I love about this musical? 

The characters are incredibly true to life; literally nobody is who they seem to be in terms of typical high school, sci fi, or even theatre tropes. which is part of the ultimate message (and I love that!!!) Jeremy’s narrative is very much a subversion of the typical entitled-nerd-boy-goes-wild-trying-to-get-the-girl, because his actions and mistakes are steeped very much in long lasting mental health struggles (he literally mentions having to go to the nurse constantly due to his anxiety attacks), as well as a heartrendingly realistic and depressing home life, and the show is very clear about this, pulling no punches. He’s flawed, he’s sweet, he’s funny, he’s tragic, he’s redemptive, he’s just…wonderful. 

Michael, who in any other show would be ‘the goofy best friend’ character and that’s it gets an incredible arc showing his brilliance, and his own inner demons, including the big showstopper Michael In The Bathroom, which is famous not only for being an incredible song, but because it goes there; it depicts the entirety of a severe panic attack in gut-wrenching detail. All set to awesome music, of course. His depth is revealed in that the otherwise cheerful, happy-go-lucky best friend character whose life seems to revolve around the protagonist’s brought to the logical conclusion of this archetype; extreme codependency and other mental health struggles. This is by no means all that he is – I’d explain why, and what an incredible, positive, heroic character he is, but I won’t dare spoil where his arc ends up going. 

Christine Canigula, our leading lady, is a badass feminist and so much more than a perky theatre kid; she’s shown to struggle much in the same ways Jeremy and Michael do, she’s politically involved and dedicated, while still being desperately uncertain about what to do with her life, her entire character is dedicated to subverting expectations (all her big numbers end with a subverted rhyme to prove this!!), she’s developed so much more than other love interest characters, and is in so many ways so much more than a love interest. She’s fiercely intelligent, but tempted to take the easy route to popularity in different ways than Jeremy, while being more inclined to being true to herself, and her autonomy drives the plot. She’s also canonically a woc who has ADHD and she’s a gun control advocate. Like??? When will your faves ever?  Her romance is believable and wonderful and driven by what she wants and her arc, while subtle, is integral to the plot. 

I could do a paragraph for each character (and if you’re on my blog, I’ll probably get around to writing meta for each of them), but the popular kids, the bullies, even the apparently useless parent character…none of them are what they seem. As for the SQUIP, I don’t dare reveal the awesomeness of that particular villain, except to say that it’s a metaphor for…a number of things, while incredibly enthralling, and The Pitiful Children, the big villain song, is honestly up there with any of your Disney villains for a truly epic sci-fi experience. It’s a completely irredeemable villain whose appeal lies in its irredeemability, especially fascinating because it’s a machine, and hence gains no sadistic pleasure from it’s evildoing; it merely seeks results, which is just chilling. 

The cast is incredibly diverse, and there is a TON of LGBT+ representation, including Michael having lesbian mothers, a completely non-stereotyped bisexual male character who ACTUALLY CALLS HIMSELF BISEXUAL OUT LOUD, and who is arguably the most tragic character in the show, but that tragedy is separate almost entirely from his orientation, and more. 

While being lighthearted sci-fi fare, it deals pretty straightforwardly with a number of heavy topics, such as mental illness, suicidal ideation, extreme loneliness, self-hatred, isolation,  trauma, abuse, sexual orientation, dysfunctional families, dysfunctional friendships, existential crises, near-death experiences, brainwashing, addiction, bullying, torture (of the sci-fi variety but still pretty damn hard to watch), and even (albeit briefly, but it still bears mention) male sexual assault, and handles all of them exceptionally well, never overdoing it on any of them (they’re interwoven and sometimes entirely subtextual to the plot) but also being honest enough about the fact that some of our darkest moments include incredibly dark comedy, all while never making light of these serious issues. That being said, consider this the trigger warning paragraph if any of that’s a limit for you! They’re so wonderfully balanced by a narrative of healing and forgiveness and loyalty and love that it makes the story all the stronger; seeing everyone facing these awful things, and being able to overcome them together. 

It’s also the type of sci-fi that I love; the kind that, like Back to the Future, Weird Science, and Stranger Things embraces a retro aesthetic, and is a smaller, singular fantastical/sci-fi element contained in a setting that is otherwise very recognizable to our world; the kind of adventures you feel like you could have between your own classes. The sci-fi effects and costumes are incredible, especially in Act 2. 

AND, and and and, It’s an underdog story within an underdog story; it opened in a regional theatre in Jersey for a limited run in 2015 and closed very quickly, and everyone assumed it would never be picked up again, but in Winter 2017, it blew up by sheer word of mouth due to a combination of the original cast album being on Spotify and the popularity of certain amateur productions since it got licenced; eventually, it got a 2017 regional theatre revival at Exit 82, and that sparked an online fandom so strong that the show got a second chance with an off-Broadway run that happened this past summer, which in turn got so successful that the show is transferring to Broadway. All the way from a seemingly failed regional limited run, with most of the original cast (who are darlings, as are the creators, incredibly empathetic people bringing this wonderful, weird, warm story to the forefront). And who doesn’t love the meta of the show itself being an underdog when the cast is entirely of underdogs?

Just. Please. Do yourself a favour and check it out. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll cheer.  I heard about it only peripherally since around mid-2017 ish and then only really got into it this past May/June, and….gosh. My life’s gotten so much better since. I’ve met dear friends through the fandom, dragged other dear friends into this glorious pit, and the show, as a narrative of healing, is helping to heal me, too. 

Possibly a new all-time favourite.