#and okinawa is not even CLOSE to being finished

[gingeralecranberry]

INTERMISSION

𝟑-𝟎 ; 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 "𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐥"

THROW ME IN YOUR BACKSEAT

☺︎ cw:

mentions of the higher ups vomit, descriptions of death/death of family members, orphaned child (in jjk? what a surprise), adoptive family, paperwork double vomit, a few adults hate on the child for no reason, allusion to trauma responses, i've officially decided to say fuck it and make the reader fully OP cause he has to have a way to survive this clusterfuck of crazies somehow

“Inoue, are you close to finishing that incident report?” 

Manato blinked. 

On the outside, the building looked like every other one on the block;  tall, glass office space filled with stuffy little cubicles that weren’t nearly big enough.  On the inside, you could say it probably also looked like every other business.   Lines and lines of employees at their desks, filing paperwork, sneaking in a quick lunch, rushing off to make an appointment.  It was the content they were working on that set them apart. 

“Oh- Uh, yeah, sorry,” the supervisor murmured, “just… having trouble getting all the details together.” 

The life of a supervisor was one that was often filled with monotony.  It was drive a sorcerer here, file some paperwork there, rinse and repeat.  But this case, this case in particular, was something special.

A grade 1 curse is observed being completely docile until arriving at this specific home and only acting aggressively towards the victims specifically?  Not only this, but the nine-year-old son is the one to exorcise the curse and ends up living to tell the tale? 

It didn’t make sense.

The building manager, another supervisor by the name of Sano Tomiko, squinted at him incredulously.  She was always a stickler for rules and deadlines.  That, paired with her seniority, was what originally landed her the managerial position. 

“If you can’t handle the caseload you’re currently being assigned, I’m sure I could find another supervisor or some kind of aid to make sure things get done on time.” 

The younger man quickly shook his head, trying his best to wipe his clammy palms off on his gray slacks, “I assure you, that isn’t necessary.  You know me, even if I get a little tight on the time frame it’ll get done.” 

Ms. Sano pushed her red Cat Eye glasses up her nose, jaw just barely tightening enough that it was noticeable.  She gave a subtle nod of the head, pivoting on her foot with the click of her heel, “Whatever you say, just make sure it’s on my desk before lock-up tonight.” 

“...Yes, Ms. Sano.” 

Manato waited until he heard the familiar sound of the same old wooden door creaking shut and the heavy sound of the deadbolt locking back into place before he let out the sigh he was holding.  

His hands landed in his hair as he leaned back in his chair, staring at his ceiling in exasperated silence. With another frustrated huff, his golden eyes flicked down to the neatly printed incident report on the right hand side of his desk.  Then, they flitted over to the hand-written notes passed on by one of the other departments. 

He tossed around the idea of rereading the report again just to double-check, but at this point, what was there to double-check?  Even if things weren’t logically adding up in Inoue’s head, facts were facts.  Sworn witness statements and the evidence at the scene didn’t lie. 

Still. 

…

One more time couldn’t hurt, could it? 

His elbows flopped down onto the mess that was his desktop, gingerly reaching over to grasp the pristine stack of papers in his hands.  The only signs they’d been touched were the little folds over the corner staple. 

‘Incident Report first, y’know, since I have to turn this in and stuff.’

For good measure, he licked his thumb before gently peeling the title page back to actually analyze the report’s contents. 

‘Location: Okinawa, Japan 

Time: Incident began at approximately 4:15, lasting almost half an hour

Curse (Grade, Name, etc.): Unnamed Serpentine Curse, Grade 1, believed to have some connection to the nearly forgotten practice of Kodoku (see attached) recently resurfacing due to a recently released horror movie in a popular franchise/series

Attending Sorcerer: Masamichi Yaga, Grade 1

Victims (Name, Age, Sex, Ethnicity, Occupation, etc.): 

(surname) (mother’s name) - 34, female, Ethnically Japanese, part-time daycare worker - deceased

(surname) (father’s name) - 37, male, Ethnically (your ethnicity), lawyer - deceased

(surname) (younger brother’s name) - 4, Ethnically Japanese and (your ethnicity), has yet to be enrolled in school and there are no signs of any application or enrollment in any early educational programs - deceased

(surname) (name) - 9, Ethnically Japanese and (your ethnicity), currently enrolled in Furutani Private Elementary School, grade 4 - injured, comatose 3 days post-incident 

Additional Notes: 

I, Minato Inoue, was the reporting supervisor assigned to the case.  I drove one Masamichi Yaga to the suspected location of the unnamed grade 1 serpentine curse at the (surname) residence in Okinawa. 

Upon arrival, the previously wide open entryway had been sealed by foliage and prevented anything larger than a person from passing through, discounting the difficulty of that in and of itself.  Exiting the vehicle, it was clear something was amiss due to the large, inconsistent surges of cursed energy emanating from the home.   Despite the potentially dangerous nature of the situation, my responsibilities stipulated that after casting the veil, I was to remain outside waiting for the attending sorcerer in the case of an emergency evacuation.

From my point of view, the incident wasn’t of much note.  I didn’t hear much noise, however this was likely due to the veil combined with the other obstructions between the scene and myself. 

When Masamichi Yaga exited the abode, he was carrying a small child in his arms, now identified to be the family’s nine-year-old son, (surname) (name).  Immediately, it was noted, the child was latched onto the attending sorcerer’s cursed corpse, Cathy.  While this may have seemed normal due to the proclivity of small children to latch onto stuffed animals, Yaga immediately corrected this assumption. 

The child was siphoning Masamichi Yaga’s cursed energy through the cursed corpse.  Yaga explained later that he did this to create a safe channel for the child to continue to siphon the cursed energy without directly taking it from his body, potentially damaging his permanent reserves. 

As a witness, I, Minato Inoue, swear upon my oath as a supervisor that the above is the whole truth and nothing but the truth.’ 

That was his own witness statement, the only other one belonging to Yaga. That was stapled behind Minato’s.

He peeked over at the handwritten notes at the top left-hand corner of his desk. 

“...”

Technically, they were classified documents meant for specific eyes only.  They were supposed to be stapled to the back  of Minato’s incident report and sent off to a group of higher ups for further evaluation. 

“...”

It would be a violation of privacy, and a violation of his own contract and morals.   He really shouldn’t spend any longer thinking about it. 

“...”

…but what was the worst that could happen? 

He peeked outside of his cubicle, scanning the walkways up and down.  A few of his coworkers straggled here and there, mainly by the boss’s mailbox and the coffee machine.  Nobody was suspicious of him; didn’t have any reason to be.  After all, if anybody looked in, it’d just be Inoue parsing through some documents.

“...”

The moment his fingers touched the high quality parchment, he could feel his guilty conscience hit him in the face like a truck.  His brows knotted up in the middle of his forehead, further displaying his inner turmoil.  He’d already gotten this far, though.  He’d already crossed the line of no return when he flipped open the first page. 

‘CASE 0976, (surname) (name) 

Cursed Technique: Igarushi Clan’s lost “Cursed Weaver” Technique 

Basic Description: The user is unable to manipulate cursed energy in what would be considered a “normal” fashion.   All cursed energy, including cursed energy belonging to other sorcerers or being produced by non-sorcerers, is perceived as threads/strands.  Largely, this sets the user on a plane completely separate to a majority of jujutsu society. 

The technique is considered to be a gem among many other cursed techniques for its unique lack of drawbacks and nearly infinite amount of uses.  That isn’t to say the technique would automatically rule the user a skilled sorcerer like the Gojo clan's famed Limitless Technique or their Six Eyes.  The user must be able to manipulate each individual strand of cursed energy into the correct position at the same time/rapid succession, making any use of cursed energy time and attention-consuming.  So while the creation of cursed tools out of thin air may seem simple enough, the user must be acutely aware of how much cursed energy they’re incorporating into each and every action. 

Unlike others, the user is able to see any and all cursed energy in the area at all times.  However, this ability can become troublesome when interacting with other sorcerers.  Cursed energy appears like woven lines, ties, or blankets depending on the individual’s reserves of cursed energy and their technique.  It becomes an eyesore quickly, but works well for expeditious situational awareness. 

The specific facets of the technique have been lost to time, seeing as many record keepers believed the records to be obsolete after centuries of waiting for the technique to manifest again. 

Much of this can be corrected with extensive practice/research, however the boy appears to be late to developing his technique.  When he last awoke, he relayed to his temporary caretaker (Masamichi Yaga) that prior to exorcising the unnamed grade 1 serpentine curse, he hadn’t so much as seen a cursed spirit before. 

Exorcising a grade 1 curse immediately after awakening one’s technique is largely unheard of, even more so when considering two other factors. 

The child’s parents were both non-sorcerers with no connections to the Jujutsu World

This technique was believed to be lost in the fateful battle against Ryomen Sukuna, dying with the Igarushi Clan Head nearly a thousand years ago. 

Genetics confirm that (surname) (name) is distantly related to the Igarushi clan, but the intermingling of other clans and bloodlines in the mix should’ve largely bred out/tainted the potential population that could carry the genetics necessary to pass on the technique, not to mention pass these genetics to seemingly the perfect host at the perfect time. 

While all of the above is more than infuriating enough, the child managed to create a binding vow during the time frame he faced death’s door against the unnamed grade 1 serpentine curse. 

He becomes largely unresponsive/aggressive when questioned about the vow, however, the obvious side effects have been noted. 

His reserves of cursed energy latch on to the largest reserve in his vicinity, siphoning their cursed energy until drainage before moving on to the next target.  Upon waking from his coma, it was revealed he can control the intensity and speed at which he drains cursed energy as long as the speed and amount exceed a certain threshold.  This threshold has yet to be officially established.

His temporary caretaker has reported he has difficulty sleeping, claiming that when he closes his eyes, he sees colorful outlines.  Upon further investigation, the outlines were that of cursed energy carriers (sorcerers, cursed corpses, etc).  In other words, the child is able to sense and perceive cursed energy in a vicinity of around 30 meters around himself with his eyes closed. 

The child’s control of the Cursed Weaver technique demonstrates basic mastery.  As of now, there are no leads explaining how this is possible.  

Despite being much more open with Yaga than other sorcerers, when probed about the details of the binding vow, he becomes visibly upset/distressed rather than hostile. 

In the meantime, staff have begun to refer to this vow as “evil”, “mutant”, and “unnatural”.  It is, of course, normal for many to be frightened by so many unknown factors, but it pains me that many are unaware of the potential developments that can be made into the science of jujutsu due to their fright. 

Despite myself and a large group of dissenters being against the name, CASE 0976, (surname) (name), has officially been dubbed “The Parasite”.’

JAZMIN BEAN : FAVORITE TOY

☺︎ taglist:

@angelkazusstuff @ahoeindeedinneed @wutap @mysouleaten @ilovebattinson @satansdaughter123 @http-l-o-k-i @rinaizha

masterlist: ☓

[violetsaffron5]

Beautiful Disaster (12)

← Chapter 11 • series masterlist • Chapter 13 →

12 | Okinawa

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x f!Reader

The group takes a trip to Okinawa

words: 3.8k

AN: Hey guys! Not sure if anyone is even reading this story anymore, but I fell of the face of the planet for a while, sorry about that. Things IRL were crazy with work and my personal life, and I just didn't have it in me to write anything. I actually had this chapter already done but forgot to post it here. It was posted on wattpad and Ao3 previously.

Ao3 • Discord 18+ • Social Media • Series Masterlists

March 2012

You’re running late - class got out late, and then you wanted to go back to your dorm to take a quick shower. You would normally just do that at his place, but you also needed to finish packing a few items for your weekend getaway.

Satoru was able to talk his parents into letting him use their vacation home in Okinawa. Apparently, they have a few to choose from, but the beaches are supposed to be amazing and it’s close enough that you can go there for the weekend without having to spend too much time traveling back and forth.

From what you’ve gathered, this is a trip Satoru, Suguru, Shoko, and Utahime plan every year. They were partying and hanging out one night, and spur of the moment Satoru wanted to get away and have some fun elsewhere so they jumped on a plane and spent the weekend there.

It’s a little cold this time of year, but you guys will make the most of it nonetheless. It’ll be nice, getting away, spending a relaxing weekend with your boyfriend and closest friends, not having to worry about school or anything else getting in the way.

When you walk into the off-campus house, your eyes immediately land on Satoru, leaning against the wall with his little round sunglasses covering his eyes. He turns and smiles as you walk over, wrapping your arms around his waist and giving him a soft peck on the lips.

You apologize for being late, but nobody seems to mind. It’s still early enough in the day that when you arrive in Okinawa everyone will have a chance to unpack and relax before heading to bed.

While everyone does a few last-minute checks to make sure they have everything they need, you hear a crisp high-pitched laugh come from the kitchen that makes your skin crawl.

Your eyes lock with Satoru’s while kissing your teeth in automatic annoyance.

“Oh boy,” Utahime sighs heavily as you wait for an explanation as to why Mei is walking into the living room with her suitcase in tow.

“Dude… You didn’t tell her Mei was coming?” Suguru states grimly before you have a chance to say anything.

You tilt your head to the side, incredibly annoyed, “You knew she was coming and didn’t say anything?”

Satoru shrugs, “I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. Sukuna invited her, not me.”

Your unamused expression is obvious as you quirk your eyebrow and glare at Sukuna from across the room. He grins, sharp canines on full display as he laughs quietly to himself, mischief in his eyes.

Fucker.

An irritated sigh leaves your lips but you decide to let it go. You were hoping to have a good weekend with your friends, and you’re still determined to do that, despite this little … hiccup.

The plus of dating someone who comes from an incredibly rich family, means there are times when you get to reap the benefits of his families hard earned money.

Case in point: taking their private jet to Okinawa.

And how could you possibly complain when being showered with complimentary champagne, spacious seating, and plenty of time to start your relaxing weekend?

Even Mei was bearable. But that’s mostly because she was tucked away at the back of the plane with Sukuna.

As expected, the Gojo’s vacation home - more of an estate really - is massive. The front is covered is lush, green grass with small areas of sand around a stone path that leads to the house - the front is covered with large, floor-to-ceiling windows to allow plenty of light.

The back is all white sand with a large pool - a hut off to the side with a hot tub, and another brick path that leads out to a dock with the ocean at your disposal. The water is so clean and beautiful here. Not as pretty as Satoru’s eyes, but a close second.

Inside the house is just as grand, with marble flooring, a huge kitchen with the latest appliances, and not a speck of dust in sight - it’s as if they have someone clean it, even though they don’t come here very often.

There are also more rooms than you know what to do with - enough space for everyone to have their own space without having to worry about sharing. Unless they choose to.

After deciding rooms - from which Sukuna and Mei don’t reappear, you leave Shoko, Utahime, and Suguru to their own devices, following Satoru down to the beach - only after promising to get into the hot tub with the girls tomorrow and spend time with them.

Tonight you’re spending the evening with Satoru.

He looks happy here, truly at peace. More than you’ve ever seen as he stands on the beach, sand between his toes, staring off into the wonders of the sea.

It’s reminiscent of the little beach he brought you to on your first date. Only this time there are no surfboards. He admitted, not long after you started officially dating, that he only used that as an excuse to touch you.

Dipping your toe in the cool water, a shiver runs through your spine moments before you’re splashed, head to toe, by salty freezing water.

Glaring at Satoru, he grins playfully before splashing you again and running into the ocean without a care in the world.

“Oh, you asshole!”

You run after him, laughing until he dives into the water. Huffing, you continue going out to where he submerged, legs kicking you out to see before yelping when large arms wrap around your waist, pulling you into that familiar hard chest.

“You really are a dickhead, you know that?” You’re not too upset, clearly, with the way your legs automatically wrap around his waist, his hands on your ass holding you in place.

He grins mischievously, “I’ll let you give my dick head, baby.”

“Don’t be gross.” You splash him gently with water before his lips connect with yours, and your arms wrap gently around his neck.

He pulls away to run his nose down the length of yours, causing you to sigh at the loss of contact before he’s back to nibbling your lower lip and kissing along your jaw.

Satoru is more loving than you ever could have imagined, especially after spilling your heart and telling him what happened between you and your mother. There was a part of you that was afraid he would think you’re too much of a mess, and wouldn’t want to deal with that part of your life.

But he’s proven you wrong. And this new direction your relationship has taken has made you really truly happy. You haven’t told him - or anyone really - but there have been thoughts lately that you can see yourself by his side for the rest of your life.

After what feels like forever, with kiss-swollen lips and pruney fingers from being out in the ocean, you make your way back to land. Shoko is there, smoking a cigarette and lying on one of the beach chairs.

Your cheeks heat because you didn’t realize she had made her way out here, but she doesn’t seem to be bothered. She does, however, hand you your phone and you eye is suspiciously wondering why she has it.

She shrugs, like she knows what you’re thinking, “Thought you’d want some pics. The sun was setting. You know, romance and all that.”

Shoko waves her hand in the direction of the ocean and you see what she means. The sun has started setting, and the pink, red, and purple hues from the sunset cast over the ocean.

“Wow,” you breathe, flipping through the few photos she took, “These are beautiful.”

Satoru lays his arms over your shoulders, looking at the pictures from over top your head, “Send me that one.”

You smile and do as he asks - you have your arm wrapped around his neck, foreheads pressed together, and smiling with the colors from the sunset in the background. It’s the perfect picture.

“I thought you said you were going to stop smoking,” Utahime scolds, startling all three of you. She’s marching towards Shoko with a fierce expression, Suguru walking behind her with his hands in his pockets, a small smile on his lips.

Satoru chuckles, kissing your forehead, and lacing his fingers with yours. 

“We’ll… See you guys tomorrow.” He says, flashing his eyebrows at his friends before Utahime can continue her argument with Shoko.

Your cheeks flame immediately, giggling as you awkwardly wave to them. They mutter half-hearted good nights, not really paying attention to either of you.

The weekend is peaceful - spending the day exploring around the estate, going to the ocean and swimming, laying out reading and just having quality time with your friends.

Mostly.

Mei is still around but hasn’t shown up a lot, off doing her own this with Sukuna. Which is a weird thought, the two of them together, but to each their own. And at any rate, you’re happy she’s not hanging around and overstaying her welcome.

By evening the two of them are hanging out in the kitchen when the rest of you come inside from lounging at the beach. You don’t acknowledge either of them - annoyed, yet not surprised - Sukuna would invite Mei just to piss you off.

Wrapping your arms around Satoru, you hold him close as he places his hand loosely around your shoulder, talking with Suguru. You’re not paying much attention as you flash your eyebrows to Shoko and purse your lips, the awkwardness of the unwanted guests - at least unwanted to you - setting in the space.

Shoko gasps, causing everyone's attention to fall on her, “We should play a game!”

Everyone chuckles at the slight slur of her words - she’s been nursing several beers and a few mixed drinks all day, taking full advantage of her absence from clinicals or work.

“What’d you have in mind?” Suguru asks, laughing when Shoko lifts her empty beer bottle in the air.

“Spin the bottle.” Shoko grins like it’s the best idea in the world while you roll your eyes.

Everyone agrees to appease her drunken state, moving into the living room, moving chairs, and getting comfortable around the coffee table.

“Alright, if you don’t kiss the person the bottle lands on,” Shoko announces, pointing her index finger in your direction, “Then you have to drink.”

You purse your lips. You know why she decided to point at you, and only you when making this announcement, but you really didn’t need the direct call out. Sure, everyone would assume it’s because of you but this was just unnecessary.

A sigh leaves your lips as you nod once, letting it go. Shoko’s drunk and you’re sure she didn’t intentionally mean it to come across like that.

During the game Shoko and Suguru kiss, Satoru and Suguru (causing several giggles), Mei and Sukuna. Utahime’s spin lands on Satoru - he grins at her boyishly but she makes a disgruntled face, opting to drink.

Not that you would have cared - you know Utahime can barely stand him and even if they did, or even Shoko kissed him - it wouldn’t have meant anything between them.

When Satoru leans forward and spins the bottle, it lands on Mei to your annoyance. She smiles, moving from her spot on the couch, closer to Satoru across the table. You glare at Sakuna who smiles wickedly, smoking his cigarette before passing it to Shoko.

When Satoru doesn’t reach for his cup, you hand him yours. He raises an eyebrow like the cup has personally offended him in some way, “What’s that for?”

“To drink?” You explain slowly, “Since you’re passing.”

He scoffs, narrowing his eyes, “It’s just a kiss. In a game everyone wanted to play.”

“And there was an added rule if you don’t want to do the kiss, you drink.”

Your heart is racing, jaw clenched as you stare each other down. Part of you wonders if you’re being unreasonable right now. It’s a game, and to his point, everyone did agree to play. But if Choso were here, and you spun and it landed on him, you would have skipped in a heartbeat knowing Satoru doesn’t like your dynamic.

Hell, you were planning on skipping if it landed on Sukuna or Suguru too… and Mei.

A heavy sigh leaves your lips, shaking your head slightly, defeated because you don’t want to argue right now and ruin everyone’s good time, even though you know it’s already happening.

“Fine,” You wave your hand in his direction, “Do what you want.”

Satoru rolls his eyes, grabbing the cup and downing all of his contents while his eyes bore into you, glaring.

“Maybe we… should head to the hot tub?” Suguru suggests, eyes flickering between you and Satoru.

“Ooh, yeah!” Shoko perks up, eyes bright after watching the scene in front of her.

You don’t reply, going back to your room to change and cool off for a few minutes. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Satoru appears but doesn’t speak. You can feel the tension rolling off him as he grabs his swim trunks and goes into the bathroom - away from you - to change before leaving the room.

There’s a part of you that doesn’t want to go back out there, and just stay in the room until you leave tomorrow. But at the same time, you do want to get into the hot tub one last time, forget about the stupid, childish game, and just move on.

When you come out of hiding and go to the hot tub, everyone is chatting happily. Satoru, still annoyed you can tell, helps you step into the water without falling and pulls you into his lap, resting his head on your shoulder and wrapping his arms around your waist.

You listen to the many conversations happening - Suguru and Satoru talking, one of his hands running up and down the length of your leg, the tension slowly dissipating. Utahime and Shoko are talking about their work schedules and the classes they have coming up during the next semester.

Mei sits next to Sukuna, whose long arms are wrapped around the back of the hot tub. He has more tattoos than you realized. Not only on his face but on his chest, back, biceps, and wrists.

You’re about to ask Sukuna if they mean anything or if they’re religious - satanic being your first guess, or ritualistic in some way when Mei’s sharp voice cuts through your thoughts about Sukuna and wondering if he sacrifices puppies - you wouldn’t be shocked knowing him.

“Satoru. I’m so excited for Bora Bora this summer.”

Your brows furrow and jaw clenches, and not just because, to you, her voice is as grating as nails on a chalkboard.

Satoru nods, but you cut in before he has a chance to say anything, “You’re going on vacation… together?”

He shrugs nonchalantly, “Apparently. Mom started planning it after Winter break.”

“And your families are going together?” You clarify.

“Yeah. Several of Dad’s closest business partners are going.”

“Okay…” You exhale slowly, “How long will you be gone?”

Satoru shrugs again, “Not sure. Maybe a month? The details aren’t finalized yet.”

Kissing your teeth, you stare at him, bewildered for a moment. The earlier… disagreement causing your heart to ache and being told a vacation with Mei’s family has been in the works for months without anyone mentioning it to you.

And you know why Mei brought it up.

“Were you going to tell me? Or maybe you were planning on ghosting me again.”

You go to move, not wanting to sit on his lap any longer, but his grip on your waist halts your movements.

“I’m telling you now.”

A short, unamused scoff comes out, “You’re only saying it now because Mei brought it up in front of me.”

He sighs, frustrated, “Yes, I was planning to tell you. I’ve been trying to talk Mom into letting you come, but she’s been adamant about it only being business partners and their families.”

“Of course she is. I’m not good enough for her precious image.”

“And,” Satoru interjects, “I wasn’t sure if your mom would let you come.”

This time you successfully wriggle out of his lap and get out of the hot tub, “That’s a lie and you know it. Mom doesn’t give a shit as long as I tell her where I’m at and call her once a week.”

“Where are you going?” Satoru asks, watching you wrap a towel around your frame and head inside.

“Bed. I’ve been humiliated enough for the night.”

You can hear Satoru sigh heavily before Mei says just loud enough for you to hear, “Isn’t it tiresome having to chase after her every time she gets a little upset or something doesn’t go her way?”

You don’t stick around to hear Satoru’s answer. So annoyed you don’t care, or afraid of what he might say, you’re not entirely sure at the moment.

Satoru doesn’t come after you, which you’re partially thankful for. You need some time to yourself.

He’s been so adamant things are over between them, and you want to believe him so badly, but things keep happening to pull them back together.

Their families are business partners, there’s no getting around that. And it’s not like you can ask his dad to just stop that - that would be insane. They’re going to be around each other, a lot, whether you like it or not.

His mom is clearly pushing them to be together - probably wanting to merge their business or expand their support. Things only the filthy rich think about - marrying their children off like that for more growth in the business world.

Maybe it is supposed to be them together - Satoru and Mei. Maybe you’re the one getting in the way of their happily ever after. After all, she did come first in terms of romantic interest.

Despite what Satoru says, there had to be some sort of attraction between them for him to stick around. He wouldn’t do that only for his mom’s sake, you don’t think at least.

But you also don’t bring anything of real value to the table - in terms of familial ties. You’re not rich, your family has nothing to offer him, and yet he still insists you’re the one he wants to be with, despite Mei’s best efforts.

And maybe you need to look at things from his point of view - he and Mei grew up together, and yes, they have a history with one another. Nothing you do or say will ever stop that being a fact. Maybe you just need to put up with it and deal with the hardships and the families pushing them together until you’ve graduated and can move on.

But that presents other issues. If you and Satoru are still together, once he finishes law school, is guaranteed he’ll be working at his dad’s firm, so they’ll still likely be around each other.

You groan, pulling at your hair slightly in frustration before running your palms down your face as the bedroom door opens and closes quietly.

Satoru sighs, the bed dipping under his weight. He’s leaning forward, his forearms on his knees as he speaks calmly, “You know if I wanted to still be with Mei, I would be.” He watches you through the corner of his eye, “Why are you so insecure around her?”

You think about it for a moment, chewing on your cheek, “She’s beautiful, and-”

“You’re gorgeous,” he interrupts.

Normally your heart would flutter at his words but instead, your lips form a straight line before continuing, “She’s rich and her family means something to yours. It’s painfully obvious she wants you back, and she’s willing to do anything to break us up. You act like a different person when she’s around - and when there’s an argument or I bring up the fact that I don’t like her, you continue to say the same things: that nothing is going on, rather than hearing me out. You take her side over mine. It’s like… you’re ashamed of me.”

“I’m not. At all.” He says quickly, “And there isn’t anything going on. It doesn’t matter if you think she’s trying to break us up -”

“God. This! I mean, do you even listen when you talk to me? I just want to rip out my hair and scream sometimes because of you.”

Satoru raises his eyebrows, before asking incredulously, “Because of me?”

“Yes! All you do is defend her and tell me I should just deal with the shit she says or the fact that she’s trying to weasel her way in between us. But my boyfriend won't fucking do that, because everything is just my problem to deal with on my own.”

“That’s not what I said at all. Jesus, you’re so dramatic, about everything.” He stands, taking several steps away from you and leaning against the wall.

You stare at him, tears welling in your eyes. “You’re right,” you resign, trying to not let the tears escape and failing, “Clearly, I’m the problem, not her. You can just… go do what you want. I won’t stop you anymore.

“Are you serious?” He asks in disbelief as you stand, gathering your belongings, but you don’t reply.

It’s quiet in the room, aside from a few sniffles you can’t help. When you make your way to the bathroom to gather your toiletries, Satoru’s hand grabs your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.

“Stop. We’re not doing this,” He motions between the two of you. “You’re not leaving, or breaking up with me, or whatever it is you’re trying to do right now. If I wanted to be with Mei, or anyone else, I would be. But I’m not, I’m with you. Okay?”

A few stray tears stream down your cheek as you look off to the side, anywhere but him while whispering, “Sometimes it’s hard to tell.”

Gently, he reaches out and grabs your cheeks, forcing your face up, “Look at me,” he says quietly.

Taking a deep breath, you slowly let your eyes meet his ocean-blue ones as he rubs his thumbs over your cheeks, wiping away the few stray tears, “I love you, okay?”

Swallowing thickly, you nod your head a few times, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath before his lips meet yours.

Your heart still feels heavy, despite his words. They used to make you feel better, but it’s just the same thing over and over again.

At the start of the weekend, you thought you’d be happy spending your life by Satoru’s side - but now you wonder how much longer you can keep this up. The same pain and heartache on repeat with no real changes.

@petalsrdead @sofiaconlaz @lovelylashawnalee @s-witch-bitch @watyousayin @desthevirgo @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn @musababy @sagejin @ritsatoru @faewithsnakes @erenputurchildreninsideme @lex-dear @hvziers @babybae-shisui @sugurunicorn @niki-sun @lilith412426 @sofiaconlaz @lxvephxbic @iam-mia9 @laylasbunbunny @creolequeen11210 @xiaosie @lem-hhn @yogurttea @slut-jr @crystxlline @ritsatoru @abba-simp @myabae @etherealkakashi @hyperfixationsporfavor @yihona-san06 @ambersea7 @knightoflove

[s4toryuu]

it’s okay — gojo satoru

two weeks after suguru’s death, you come home to to your apartment and to your surprise, your boyfriend.

notes: hurt and comfort, post jjk0, established relationship, angst, ooc!gojo (you’ll see), sorry in advance, based off when gege said gojo had many breakdowns after jjk0

just like everyone, when you first met satoru back when you were first years, he was insufferable. however, you being you, you concluded that it would only be common sense that his title of being the strongest made a not-so-positive impact on his psyche. so you were forgiving.

you secretly made it one of four years’ mission to get the one and only gojo satoru to open up and drop the cocky act. but even when amanai riko, the girl he grew fond of in your third year, was assassinated, he barely budged. he said he barely knew her. not to say he wasn’t phased by it, but every time it would come up he would find a way to lighten the mood like he always has.

this was when you confirmed your belief about his damaged psyche. when they were in okinawa, satoru had texted you and shoko about riko and how you would love her and how riko would love shoko and utahime. he told you about the beach and the aquarium, and later geto told you about how satoru stayed up all the nights to keep guard. he cared about amanai, so his reaction couldn’t have been completely truthful.

you two still weren’t the closest then, but you just couldn’t let it go. awkwardly a couple of weeks after the girl’s death, you approach satoru after you finished a quick duo mission. “goj—satoru,” you start, mistaking his family name. he looks to you from the vending machine. “you know, it’s okay to be sad about it.” your voice gets quieter from the bench you sat at.

“huh? about what?” gojo sits next to you, handing you your drink of choice. “oh. yeah, I know.” he opens his coke. “but ‘ya know. it is what it is—that brat is probably in a better place anyway.” he shrugged and sat limp beside you with his arm behind your back, resting on the wood.

“satoru, it’s okay.” he took a big inhale and you fiddled with the drink in your hand.

“did suguru send you or something? or you being sweet for something else?” he looked to the side through his glasses. “it’s nothing to me now. plus, I learned a lot from it anyway.”

then, a year later, he barely talked about it when suguru defected. you figured you just weren’t close enough. when you started dating a year after that, the first thing you talked to him about was how it was okay to be sad even if it meant being weak in his eyes.

however, in the next 9 years, you’ve never caught him being more than just quiet or reserved when he was feeling down. even then, it wasn’t complete because he was always making annoying remarks. so you set that mission aside to be ready if the time ever comes, but decided not to hold your breath.

sometime in that time frame, you slowly notice satoru letting his guard down to you more and more during challenging times. upsetting or sad times were extremely rare, but that just made you treasure and observe them more carefully. you think it’s just satoru maturing as well. you used to joke that satoru being genuinely really sad was just as rare as his six eyes and infinity combo.

most of the times were because of his (and yours, kinda) adopted son/little brother/student/nephew/beneficiary/“brat with crazy potential”/“the future” named fushiguro megumi not playing along to his antics. the worst was when the pre-teen lashed out at satoru for “acting too much like my dad.”

that was the first time you saw satoru genuinely upset. he had asked (interrogated) megumi about his new middle school, to which the angsty kid, stressed with the new environment, who wanted to be left alone, snapped. satoru has opened up to you that night.

two weeks ago, satoru killed his best friend. you were guarding inside the school, especially because of the new student. when you had heard the news, all you thought about was satoru. it had been almost ten years that you talked to suguru, and honestly while you couldn’t blame him for his crimes, it was hard to look at him the same.

the first week after that, satoru was perfectly normal. the start of the week after was the same, so you figured he might’ve not been as affected as you thought. however, you couldn’t accept that he was just okay with permanently losing his self-proclaimed “other half.”

so when you come home after a full day’s worth of errands and hear deep shaky breaths from your bathroom, you think you’re mistaken. that part of you you set aside shivered at the thought that you were correct; that satoru bottled these big feelings to release them alone.

“satoru?” you called softly before slipping off your shoes. the door to the bathroom was open. as you started your way towards it the faucet started running, followed by water splashing against a face you now studied as you leaned against the doorframe.

“hey! you’re home early!” satoru smiled at you, face wet. he made no effort to stop the droplets from running down his chin, to his neck, and eventually to his sweater.

“so are you, toru. is everything okay?” you shifted your weight and he turned the water off. you swear you felt your brain flex at you struggling to decide how to approach this.

you swear he was just crying. will you make him uncomfortable if you pry? no, you don’t want to pry anyway. he was forced to kill his best friend just less than two weeks ago. it had only been you, shoko and satoru since suguru had first defected, but despite the time, satoru had always talked to you about suguru coming back somehow.

“yep. yaga let me come home early. I might take him up on that break offer, honestly.” satoru watched himself in the mirror, smile slowly fading. you grab a towel from a cabinet and have your boyfriend face you.

“that’s good. your students won’t mind. they understand—we all understand.” gently, you reach up to dry his face. to your surprise, you got stuck just in front of his nose. he still had his infinity on. you waited for him to realize, as he zoned out looking down at you.

satoru sighed softly and he closed his eyes. “shit, sorry. I’m distracted.” he rubbed his forehead and you wiped his face.

“it’s okay.” you tiptoed to kiss his temple and he bent down to reach around your waist. you hugged for a good ten seconds, feeling his chin on your shoulder.

“wanna take a nap?” you asked in an almost whisper. satoru nodded on your shoulder. “I’ll wash up first.” satoru hums and lets you go. really, you just wanted to hug him. you weren’t tired at all, but knowing satoru he would only rest like this if you were there to encourage it.

you dressed in a matching crewneck and shorts and walked to satoru, who was already on the verge of sleep in your bed. usually, when he felt your weight on the mattress he would lay his arm out for you to lay against his chest. instead, satoru let you lay down and just hugged you from your side.

he closed his eyes and sighed. he called your name and you moved your arm to let him lay against you. “I’m just distracted. I’ll save that vacation for another time.” he said, seemingly out of nowhere.

“baby it’s a break, not a vacation. I think you should take it. I can stay home with you if you want—”

“it won’t do anything anyway.” your boyfriend snuggled into you and rubs his face under your shoulder. you two laid in silence and after a couple of beats you speak up.

“I miss him too y’know.” you say, just above a whisper. you adjusted to put your arm under his head and turn yourself to face him. he nods his face into your neck.

satoru breathes in deeply and holds it in his chest. he releases it shakily. he doesn’t inhale until a couple beats and then he holds it and shakily releases it again. you rest your chin on the crown of his head, met with the comforting scent of his haircare. you think of what to say next, but gave up to hold satoru tighter.

“he’s gone now. because of me.” satoru whispers. your heart shatters and you freeze. suddenly all the memories of you, shoko, satoru and suguru from high school flows into your brain. you couldn’t bring yourself to speak. you wrap your hand around his head to bring him closer—an attempt to somehow share this burden.

you feel satoru swallow and he sighs. his breathing gets deeper with each breath, and you notice them getting more hasty. your heart sank to your stomach.

“satoru…” you start. he curls into you, knees shifting up against your thigh and finally, the tension breaks.

satoru sobs. he hugs you tighter and you feel tears welling up in your own eyes.

your mind went blank. you knew there was nothing you could say to comfort your boyfriend. this was the first time you’ve seen him cry in thirteen years. you felt as if your heart was squeezed. satoru was sobbing against your neck and you wanted nothing but to at least take some of his pain.

you listened to satoru sob and you closed your eyes. you held him, hoping the pressure comforts him. it was difficult as he’s almost twice your size, but nothing else felt right.

you knew satoru wasn’t only referring to killing suguru two weeks ago. he had told you how he was too weak to plead his best friend ten years ago to stay—that the two of them could make this all right. that the two of them could’ve corrected the system. he believed he could’ve prevented everything if only he was strong enough to do something so mundane compared to his battles. why couldn’t he have just… spoke?

satoru’s sobs leveled off. he went back to hasty breathing. you felt his tears on your pillow now and shoulder, but you couldn’t care less. all you wanted was for satoru to stop carrying his pain alone.

you kiss the top of his head and your own tears start to flow. “it’s okay, satoru.”

after a moment he pulls away from you and sits up, looking down at his lap. you stared at his slumped shoulders and he tried to steady his breathing. you sat up too and scooted up to turn your body to face him.

you held your hand to his cheek. he looked at you and looked back down. “it’s okay.”

he let out a shaky breath and you wiped his tears. his face was warm to the touch. he started a word, but he sighed and shook his head. you leaned in and hugged him. it was more for you than for him.

to say this broke your heart was too much of an understatement. you wondered how many times he’d cried alone. just because he was pinned to be “the strongest.” the title leaked into his life outside of his power. for a second you hated the world. you hated everyone at the school; yaga, shoko, nanami… your head felt hot with rage at how they could let that happen— how they could let satoru bear so much alone.

satoru looks down when you pull away, hiding his face. your hands rest on his shoulders and you kiss the top of his head again. “it’s okay.”

he coughs twice. you get up to get him a glass of water and he finishes it in three gulps.

“do you want to talk about it?”

satoru swallows and sighs outward. “I had to review the report. And testify as a witness. Yaga came and they let me off easy.” you sit down at the edge of the bed to listen.

“I just—“ he stutters. “that’s it.” you’re glad he’s calmed down. he finally looks up at you, still struggling to hold eye contact. it must feel weird for him to cry in front of you. his eyes were wet and red, along with his nose. his brows furrowed and he looks down again.

“I’m really sorry you had to relive that. those higher ups don’t understand your relationship. but it’s okay to think about it once in a while—and mourn.” you tell him.

“yeah…I know, it’s just hard.” he sniffled.

“I know.” you sigh. you pat his head and he rests it on your shoulder. you hug him again. the two of you make your way back to your previous position laying down, and you flipped your pillow. satoru scoffs amusingly, after which you expected a clever remark to come but it doesn’t.

“could you…” he hesitates.

“yeah?”

“could you… stay tomorrow?” satoru huffs into your shoulder.

“of course.”

reblog to give gojo a hug :(

m.list

[mystwrites]

Hi, congratulations on reaching 200 followers! You're a very talented writer and artist and worked hard to achieve this milestone!

If you would like for your follower event, could you do 🍉 and 🌊, with lee!Geto and ler!Gojo? I guess I'm basing the scenario where Geto and Gojo took Riko to Okinawa island to relax.

Again, congrats on this milestone and may many more come your way!

My 200 Followers Event is still open!

The beach was really great. Geto was downright enjoying himself. Of course, this was a mission he was supposed to be on with Gojo but Gojo’s idea of a beach day was incredible. The smell of the salty sea, the calming sounds of the waves hitting the sand, the warm sun on his body. It was all so relaxing.

While he did say he was opposed to the idea, he now has no arguments. Sunbathing was really nice and relaxing. A perfect change in scenery as well as atmosphere. Before, things were tense and now the mood was lifted, everyone smiling, laughing and genuinely happy.

“God…I love this…” he mumbled, Gojo next to him lying on his back, enjoying this fresh dose of vitamin c.

“I told you this would be fun!” Gojo sang, pointing to Riko and Kuroi going for a swim. “They’re having a lot of fun and I can tell you’re having a good time tanning.”

“Mmm. I did wanna get a tan at some point in my life.” Geto replied, comfortable as ever on his stomach. “Satoru?”

“Yeah?”

“Is my back burning?”

“Uhhh…ooh! Yes, I see some redness.”

Geto groaned and sat up. “Shit. Really?”

“Yes! Right here! It’s red.” Gojo added, pressing down on Geto’s shoulder. He hissed as Gojo’s finger pressed into his skin. It did hurt slightly.

“Damn…that was quick.”

“Well, we were here for like…an hour and thirty minutes.”

“Yeah, but while I do wanna tan, I don’t wanna become a cooked lobster.“ Geto joked, tossing a bottle of sunscreen to Gojo. “Help me out and put sunscreen on my back will you?”

“Roger!” Gojo saluted, suddenly squirting a whole glob onto Geto’s back.

“OIY!! Take it easy with the sunscreen!” Geto gasped.

The sudden temperature change from hot to freezing cold startled Geto so much his foot kicked Gojo’s back. Apologizing, Gojo went to work, probably applying too much sunscreen but more is better than too little. Geto was grateful that his best friend would do this for him.

Geto’s eyes closed since it felt as if Gojo was massaging him but before he could completely relax, he felt two single fingers start to drag up and down his sides and swirl in a circular motion. Tensing up, Geto let out a loud inhale and whined, fully aware that Gojo was absolutely grinning behind him.

“Satoru!” he hissed. “That tickles!!”

“Dude, I’m not even trying to tickle you! I’m just doodling on your back with the sunscreen.” Gojo snickered, a mischievous grin appearing on his face much to Geto’s horror. “I drew a cat on your back hehehe! Let’s draw some more.~”

“Don’t even think about it you ass.” Geto barked.

“What? You don’t want a nice tattoo?”

“Hell no! Especially not if the “tattoo” is super painful tomorrow, then starts to itch and peel in a few days.”

“Oh well…it’s your loss. It was a very cute drawing.”

Geto laughed at the sad sigh Gojo let out and shook his head. Sometimes his friend could be too much. He still enjoyed being around Gojo nonetheless.

All was calm after Gojo finished applying the sunscreen to his back. The sounds of Riko screaming and laughing with Kuroi as a wave knocked them over was music to Geto’s ears as he continued to happily sunbathe. That was until he felt Gojo’s finger run up the back of his leg from the sole of his foot to the back of his knee. Jerking, Geto whipped around so fast he could’ve gotten whiplash and threw sand at Gojo’s face.

“GAAAH!” Gojo shook his head and giggled, smiling playfully at Geto.

“I swear to god, Satoru!” he growled, glaring at the white haired teen. “If you don’t stop…”

“What? If I don’t stop then what?~” Gojo teased, brushing the sand off of his cheek before suddenly tickling Geto’s spine.

“I will not hesitate to unleash the kissy cu-AAAGHHH!!” Geto couldn’t find it in him to spit out an angry remark as Gojo started to gently scribble at his hips. “Dahahammit Satoru!!”

“Hehee. Oh this is good!” Gojo snickered, sitting on Geto’s lower back. “Let’s have a little fun then, Suguru!~”

Geto shook his head, slapping the beach towel he resided on as Gojo’s hands connected with his armpits. While he wouldn’t normally be against a sudden Gojo tickle attack, they were at the beach, not in their dorm rooms where they had privacy. Anyone could look at them and think they were crazy. And worst of all, Riko and Kuroi might possibly join in the fun.

“Thihis is chihildish!! Quit th-this nonsehense!! Sato-RUUUHUHUHU!! IHIHI’M SEHERIOUS!!” Geto wheezed, reaching back to push Gojo away once his hands settled on his hips.

All that came in response was Gojo humming, happy to just tickle his friend to pieces. Giggling, Gojo suddenly lay on top of Geto, going for his ribs, hips and armpits all at once. Laughing, Geto flailed about, kicking up sand before he submitted to the sensations plaguing his body.

“Is this still childish?” Gojo snickered, rolling Geto onto his back. “Tickling my best friend and making him laugh is childish??”

“Y-YEHEHES YOU GOON!” Geto cried, wheezing as Gojo dusted the sand off of his stomach. “KNOHOHOCK IT OFF!!”

“Make me stop, Suguru!~” Gojo taunted, smug as ever. “Why don’t you make a curse stop me?~”

Gojo let out a yelp as Geto kicked him in the back. Seeing his opportunity, Geto bucked his hips as hard as he could, successfully dislodging Gojo from his waist. Without hesitation, he ran into the water to join Riko and Kuroi, Gojo hot on his heels.

“Amanai! Kuroi!!” he wheezed, shivering as his feet, thighs and then hips were submerged in the water. “Please help me!!”

“What’s wrong? Is Gojo being a turd?” Riko asked, clearly not surprised Gojo would be starting some chaos.

“Yeah! He’s engaging in childish activities!!” Geto cried, hiding behind Kuroi.

“What kind of “childish activities” are we talking about?” Kuroi asked.

“W-we don’t talk about that…” Geto stammered, pointing at Gojo and trying hard to ignore the burning of his cheeks. “You back the fuck up!”

“C’mere Suguru!~ I’m not done with you yet! Don’t hide behind Amanai and Kuroi you wimp!~”

Thinking on the fly, Riko let out a battle cry and kicked water into Gojo’s face. Geto saw this as his moment to put the sudden tickle attack to an end and grabbed his friend by the waist. Gojo shrieked, feeling his feet levitate out of the water and into the air. Snickering, Kuroi and Riko watched, wondering what Geto would do.

“There!” Geto said, suddenly tossing Gojo over his shoulder and into the water. “Problem solved.”

Sputtering, Gojo resurfaced, scoffing as he searched for his sunglasses that fell off in all the chaos. Riko and Kuroi both snickered as Geto loomed over him, his arms crossed.

“You done with these childish antics, Satoru?” he asked, Gojo laughing and putting his glasses back on.

“Pffft! Nah but I won’t do anything for now.” Gojo sang, poking Geto’s tummy.

“For now?!?” Geto squawked, splashing Gojo once again. “Don’t you dare tickle me again!”

“Aaah.” Riko snickered, nodding her head at Kuroi. “That’s what “childish activities” meant.”

A/N: Thank you for the request!🩷I loved writing for Gojo and Geto so much! It’s refreshing to start writing for other fandoms.

[4littlefishies]

The 36th Floor - Give it Some Thought

satoru gojo x suguru geto

warnings: smut hehehehe

wc: 10.0k

previous chapter here

It’s just after 9:30 when Suguru finally gets back to his room. The last meeting ran a little long, and then afterwards, one of the many people Suguru and Nanami talked to during their day invited both of them to join a group going out for dinner. They agreed, both not having any plans and Suguru feeling especially hungry after their long day. After walking to a pub close to the hotel, Suguru enjoyed a burger along with a couple drinks, having a good time talking to the new people they had both met. He makes his way back on his own after a while, wanting to get ready for bed and talk to Satoru again. 

“See you in the morning.” Suguru says to Nanami as he prepares to leave, making sure to thank everyone for inviting the two of them. 

“See you at 10.” Nanami responds with a smile and a simple wave. Suguru makes his way back to the hotel, taking in his surroundings and doing some people watching as he walks. The streets are busy with people out for their Saturday night activities. He looks down at his phone as he walks, seeing a text from Satoru from a couple hours earlier. 

‘What if we go to Okinawa????’ Suguru smiles to himself as he reads it, happy that Satoru’s been thinking about where to go on a trip.

‘Wherever you want baby’ 

He clicks send as he makes it to the elevator and heads up to his floor, thankfully not having to stop on any other before he makes it up. He’s a little bit surprised that Satoru doesn’t immediately text back, but assumes he’s probably not paying attention to his phone while he either bothers Shiro or watches a movie.

He saunters down the hallway, feeling only slightly affected from his few drinks at dinner. His cheeks are warm and surely they have a slightly pink flush to them. He finally notices how his entire body feels warm as he makes it back to his door. He uses his card to open the door and flicks the light on before locking the door behind himself. Kicking his shoes off and undoing his pants, Suguru’s ready to finally be out of work clothes after the long day. He folds the pants neatly and sets them to the side of his bag, doing the same with his shirt, setting it on top of the previously folded pants. 

Heading into the bathroom, he looks at himself in the mirror for moment before starting on his bedtime routine. His cheeks are indeed slightly pink along with the slightly-tipsy happy look on his face. He starts by brushing his hair out after taking it down, letting out a satisfied sigh as the tension on his scalp from it being up all day is released. It’s nearly 10 when he finishes everything he needs to do and heads back out to the bed to lay down and finally relax. Laying on top of the covers, he grabs his phone from the nightstand, finally ready to call Satoru.

His fingers work quickly over his screen, excited to talk to him after being stuck in meetings all day. He presses the button to facetime him, ready to see his face smiling back at him. The phone rings a couple times before Satoru finally answers. That was the first thing to tip Suguru off that something is off. Without fail, when he calls, Satoru answers his phone by the second ring like his life absolutely depends on it; watching a movie, on a run, even in the shower a couple times.

“Hi Sugu.” Satoru answers, his voice slightly shaky as he answers the phone.

“Hi darling.” Suguru responds, really turning it on with the smile apparent in his voice. “Why did you only answer with the audio?”

“Oh, uh, I don’t know.” He answers, not even bothering to try and find an excuse. The way Satoru speaks has Suguru more suspicious almost immediately.

“Are you okay? You sound out of breath.” He asks, bringing his arm up to rest behind his head as he continues to look at himself in the corner and Satoru’s profile picture in the middle of the screen, not yet understanding why Satoru is being weird. One eyebrow is raised at his phone, despite Satoru not being able to see him.

“Yeah I’m fine, jus’ laying in bed…” He almost sounds like he just sprinted up a flight of stairs. 

Suguru smiles, chuckling silently to himself and letting his head tilt back further. Oh, now I get it. “Are you sure that’s all you’re doing?” Suguru’s voice is coy as he says it, now starting to have a pretty good idea of what's going on on the other side of the phone. There’s a long silence and Satoru lets out a deep breath he had been holding in. “How come you didn’t answer the facetime, baby?” Suguru asks, the smirk on his face laced into his voice as he speaks. 

“Sugu…” Satoru starts, realizing that he’s starting to catch on.

“Come on, where’s my pretty Toru?” Suguru urges, knowing that it won’t take much sweet talking to get Satoru to comply with his request. He’s now completely sure that Satoru isn’t just laying in bed. Satoru lets out a faint groan, trying to put it off. “Or…” Suguru starts, an idea entering his head. “I can hang up and you can keep doing what you’re doing alone.” He says, his eyebrows still raised.

Satoru lets out another groan before Suguru finally sees his face pop up on the screen, his head resting in his pillows, the light from the lamp on his nightstand softly illuminating his face. His cheeks are visibly pink, causing Suguru to smile, deciding to tease him.

“There’s my pretty Toru… In the middle of something?” Suguru asks, raising his eyebrows at Satoru with a smirk. 

“Kinda…” Satoru responds, his breath slightly shaky as he lets it out.

“By all means, don’t let me stop you.” Suguru suggests, watching as Satoru’s eyes widen slightly before a smile creeps onto his face. He smiles as he looks at Satoru’s dimples on either side of his mouth, wishing he could feel them under his lips as he leaves quick pecks all over his cheeks. 

“Suguruuu.” Satoru whines out, laying his head back further into the pillow, seeming surprisingly embarrassed for once.

“Baby, you didn’t have to answer, you know that, right?” 

“But I wanted to.” He responds, his voice quiet, but an alluring smile on his face. His cheeks are still flushed pink, the thought of Suguru catching him in the act was somewhat of an exciting idea to him.

I love this little freak so much, Suguru thinks to himself, feeling smug. “Why don’t you flip the camera around?” Suguru’s voice is low and comes out of his mouth like warm honey. Satoru hesitates for just a moment before speaking up.

“What do you think you’re gonna see, hmm?” Satoru asks playfully, seemingly stalling, but more like his normal self.

“Baby, I think we both know what I’m gonna see.” Suguru says, poking his tongue in his cheek as he feels a growing hardness in between his legs. He palms himself through his underwear, his chest rising as he sucks in a deep breath through his nose at the feeling. Satoru twists his mouth to the side, furrowing his brows at Suguru who stares back at him, waiting for him to flip the camera.

He finally flips it around and Suguru is all but surprised to see Satoru’s hand wrapped firmly around the base of his cock. It looks shiny, coated in a mixture of precum and saliva, very obviously screaming for more attention. “Fuck, why didn’t you just answer like this?” Suguru asks with a smirk on his face, admiring the view.

“Don’t know.” Satoru responds with a smile, his words sounding almost out of breath as he speaks. He moves his hand up and down slowly a couple times, letting out a low groan at the feeling before stopping again.

“Don’t stop.” Suguru commands as he shakes his head, watching and waiting for him to continue. “Keep going.”

“So bossy.” Satoru teases as he starts off slowly pumping his hand up and down before quickly getting it back to the moderate pace he had going before Suguru called. His moans are restrained behind his lips as he keeps his bottom one tucked between his teeth. Suguru can tell by the minimal noises he’s making that he isn’t letting them all out.

“Baby, I wanna hear you too.” Suguru coos, continuing to massage himself through his underwear. “We both know you never shut up.”

Satoru lets out a soft chuckle which quickly turns into a moan as he continues his movements, his hips jerking upwards as he hits an overly sensitive spot. “Ah- mmmh.” He hums, his breath is shaky as he lets it out. 

Suguru finally pushes his underwear down and off before taking his own cock in his hand, wincing and inhaling with a hiss at the feeling. His warm hand wraps around it, squeezing slightly before slowly starting to move his hand, the precum oozing from his throbbing tip acting as lube. He takes his own bottom lip in his mouth, his top teeth sinking into the flesh to keep his own noises subdued.

“Shit, ah- Sugu.” Satoru cries out.

“I’m right here, baby.” Suguru says, continuing to slowly stroke himself. His mouth hangs open as he lets out a shaky breath that Satoru is too preoccupied to fully notice.

“Wish you were h-here.” Satoru says, his words stuttering at the same time as his hips. “You do it so much better.” 

Suguru smiles at his whiny words coming through loud and clear. “I’ll make it up to you, baby, don’t worry.” Satoru lets out another needy whine, although a smile still sits on his face hidden behind the camera. The speed of his hand picks up, as does Suguru’s along with him. “Let me see my pretty Toru.” Suguru breathes out, missing seeing his face already. Satoru flips the camera around, his cheeks flushed a dark pink and his eyebrows screwed together with his eyes begging for release; a real sight for sore eyes.

“Fuck.” Suguru lets out breathlessly as he continues pumping his own hand up and down. He finally decides to flip his own camera around. “See what you do to me, baby?” He asks, his voice sweet as he makes a mess of himself. 

“Fuuuck, Sugu.” Satoru mewls out, paying full attention to his screen as he hears Suguru’s words. “Ne-ed to feel you.” 

“I know, baby, I know.” Suguru says, his voice soothing although he chokes back moans of his own as he continues stroking his cock to the beautiful sight of Satoru’s pleasure filled face. “I’m all yours when I get home. Promise.” Suguru gets out, his own hips starting to uncontrollably twitch upwards. He feels the same as Satoru - it’s good, but nothing beats actually feeling him - the warmth of his mouth, the softness of his skin, his needy whimpers in person, not just through the phone. “Fuck.” He can tell just by the way his face screws together tighter and tighter that Satoru is close.

Satoru holds his phone further up away from himself, giving Suguru a view of everything. “Hah-nngh. Shit!” Satoru cries out, his lewd noises coming in loud and clear through the phone. His hand stops for just a moment as the sensitivity starts to get too much. “s’too much!”

“Don’t you dare fucking stop.” Suguru spits out, watching with a smirk as Satoru immediately obeys and keeps his hand going, a long string of moans and cries immediately spilling out of his mouth. “You’re so good for me, Toru. You gonna cum for me, baby?” Suguru’s voice is sweet, but also slightly whiny as he says it, also feeling himself nearing the edge as well. “Hmm?”

“Mmhmm,” Satoru hums, it sounding more like a weak whimper than anything. Suguru watches as Satoru flips the camera once again. Satoru’s hand keeps its swift pace on his slick cock as he lets out more and more obscene noises. Suguru lets his head fall back, the sound of Satoru’s sweet moans like music to his ears. “Ah, Sugu ‘m cummingh- ah” Satoru finally cries out, his hips jerking up to meet his hand while he cums and whimpers spill from his mouth into his dimly lit bedroom.

Suguru continues his hand, squeezing himself tighter and letting out a groan as he watches Satoru make a mess all over his stomach. “Shit,” Suguru hisses out, his hips twitching uncontrollably as his hand squeezes around his sensitive tip. “So fucking hot.” He gets out, choking back moans of his own. “Ah, Satoru-” He lets out, his voice similarly shaky to Satoru’s. Satoru turns the camera back around to face himself, but holds it away from his body again to show Suguru the mess he’d made on himself. 

“You gonna cum, Sugu?” Satoru asks, his chest still heaving while he’s still panting, his cocky voice slightly teasing as he drags a finger through the milky white liquid on his stomach. Suguru watches as he brings it to his mouth, sticking his tongue out obscenely before his finger disappears into his mouth, his lips wrapped tightly around it and sucking it clean.

“Fuck, baby, yes- ah,” Suguru stutters out, his abs flexing as he feels himself begin to tip over the edge. “Just like that baby.” He groans, his grip on his phone as well as the grip on his cock tightening as he cums, quickly making a mess on himself just as Satoru had. “Ah- shi-it.” He says shakily as his hand slows and stills, quickly growing too sensitive. 

“God, you’re so hot.” Satoru says, shaking his head, his voice coming in loud through Suguru’s phone speaker. Suguru laughs, turning the camera back around to face himself, still panting as he looks at a red faced and sweaty Satoru with a red and sweaty face of his own. “How did I get so lucky?”

Suguru smiles, not even looking at himself in the corner of the phone. He doesn’t seem to care how his bangs stick to his forehead, a sheen of sweat covering his body. “I ask myself that every day.” He takes slow deep breaths, coming down from his high, both of them still feeling languorous, almost ready to fall asleep.

“Suguru, stop being so cheesy.” 

Suguru scoffs, sitting up to head to the bathroom to get himself cleaned up, deciding that he definitely needs to before doing anything else. “Cheesy?! I thought it was sweet.”

“It was… But it was also cheesy.” 

“Whatever you say, honey.” Suguru says, his saccharine voice helping to disguise the sarcasm behind it. They both clean themselves up and find their way back into their respective beds. Suguru turns off the lights before pulling back the overs and climbing into bed, watching as Satoru pulls his own blanket up over himself. “So…” Suguru starts, looking at the screen with a smirk.

“So?” Satoru asks, waiting on Suguru to finish his thought. 

“You couldn’t at least wait until after I called?” The smirk remains on his face as he now lays on his side, resting comfortably into the fluffy hotel pillows. 

“You were taking forever!” Satoru whines, shoving his face and groaning into his pillow. “Just the thought of you is so sexy, I couldn't help it.” 

“I thought after this morning you’d at least make it until tomorrow.” Suguru teases as he lets out a chuckle at Satoru’s excuse and explanation. “Did the wind hit you just right or something? I mean, damn, it’s been less than 15 hours.” 

Satoru groans like he’s offended by the teasing, although the smile on his face says otherwise. “For your information…” He starts off dramatically, “It was a picture of you, actually.” Suguru’s eyebrows raise upon Satoru’s confession.

“Oh? What picture?” Suguru asks, teasing him with a smirk, wanting to know more.

Satoru doesn’t even think about it before answering, not even the slightest bit embarrassed. “Just one I took of you a while ago when you weren’t looking.” 

“Really?” Suguru asks, now intrigued. “Can I see it?” He asks, not knowing if Satoru would let him see it or not. 

“Already sent it to you.” Satoru says with a smile as the notification comes through to Suguru’s phone. He clicks on it and upon opening it up, he sees himself lying face down across Satoru’s bed, adorning nothing but the detailed tattoos etched onto his skin. His long dark hair isn't tied up in any way, left to fall over the crevasses of his shoulders and back as it so pleases. He’s resting his chin on the back of his hands stacked atop one another as he’s looking out the windows, the night sky dark and the city lights bright around them. Only part of his face is visible, but he has a wide, beaming smile as he looks out at the view in front of him, his eyes squeezed shut with the magnitude of his smile. 

“This is what got you all riled up like that?” Suguru asks, chuckling lightly as he looks at the picture. 

“Yes, Suguru. Any picture of you can get me riled up.” Satoru defends himself, trying to justify his reasoning. “Especially when your ass looks that good.” 

They both chuckle at Satoru’s comment as Suguru continues looking at the picture with an eyebrow raised. An idea enters his head and he can’t get rid of it. “How many times have you jerked off to this?” Suguru asks bluntly, knowing that there’s no such thing as too personal between the two of them anymore when it comes to things like that. 

“None before now.” Satoru replies.

“That’s a lie.” Suguru retorts right after Satoru finishes his answer.

“It is not!” Satoru cries out, having actually told him the truth. “Suguru, we’re always together, when do you think I have the time to?” Suguru lets out a sigh, knowing he’s right. “And I don't need to when I’ve got you.”

“I guess you’re right...”

“Hm… Sounds to me like you’re projecting.” Satoru says, furrowing his brows and pressing his lips together.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Suguru asks, deciding to take the bait and play along. He cocks an eyebrow, looking at Satoru with a look of anticipation on his face.

“How often are you touching yourself to pictures of me?!” Satoru asks, his voice raising in pitch as he asks the question. Suguru smiles at his dramatic way of questioning, knowing that it’s all an act. “Answer the question!” He shouts. Suguru chuckles lightly and opens up his camera roll.

“I don’t, but I’ll show you one that I would use, I guess.” Suguru says, enjoying himself as he’s scrolling through his gallery to find the specific picture he has in mind. He quickly finds the picture he was thinking of, smiling to himself as he admires it for a moment before sending it to Satoru. Once again, it’s on Satoru’s bed, but Satoru is on his knees with his hips and ass up in the air while his chest is pressed down into the bed. One of his arms is outstretched in front of him while his face is tucked behind the other one as he looks up at Suguru and the camera with eyes that could seduce even a siren. He’s wearing just his underwear and one of Suguru’s shirts, although it’s bunched up at his chest after falling down the steep angle his back is arched up at. Suguru remembers the moment quite well, smiling smugly to himself as he waits for Satoru to see the picture. 

“Oh damn.” Satoru exclaims, looking at the picture that Suguru sends him. “I would use this picture too.” Suguru laughs at his comment before Satoru keeps talking. “So you’re saying that you’ve never jerked off to this?” 

“Correct.” Suguru affirms.

“Not even to the thought of me?”

“I didn’t say that.” Suguru says, glancing to the side as the words leave his mouth. His eyebrows scrunch together and his eyes narrow for a second, knowing that he’s opened a whole new can of worms for Satoru to pick through. Satoru’s mouth immediately opens with a gasp, turning into an open mouthed smile while his eyes widen at Suguru’s response.

“So you’ve thought of me while you touched yourself?”

“Satoru…” Suguru looks back at him with a blank expression on his face. He presses his lips together into a straight lipped expression.

“I just wanted to hear you say it.” Satoru whines. Suguru rolls his eyes as he shakes his head with a smile. 

“Yes, Satoru. You’ve been on my mind before while I masturbated.” Suguru says dully.

“Why did you have to say it all un-sexy like that?” 

“You were the one that wanted to hear it!”

“Was this before we were together?” Satoru asks, his tone playfully teasing. Suguru immediately feels his cheeks get warm, and probably a dark shade of pink. He’s thankful that the darkness of the room hides it well for him. He doesn’t respond, instead just poking his tongue into his cheek with a coy smile. “So that’s obviously a yes.” 

“I didn’t say anything!”

“You don’t have to Gugu, I can tell!”

“You can tell?” Suguru repeats back to him, knowing he’s right, but not wanting to give it away just yet. 

“Yes, I can tell. Your face was very telling of your answer, it’s not hard to put it together.” Satoru explains. Suguru smiles, kicking himself for not hiding it better. “So, when was this?”

“When was what?!” Suguru asks, playing dumb and pretending he’s not sure if he’s correctly understanding the question.

“You know what I’m asking Gugu, don’t act all dumb!”

“Satoru, I’m done talking about this.” He breathes out, wanting to change the subject.

“Okay okay, you don’t have to answer that.” Satoru says, deciding not to try to push it any further. “When did you decide you liked me, then?” He asks, catching Suguru slightly by surprise.

“Huh?” Suguru asks, knowing full well he heard the question. 

“When did you decide you liked me?” Satoru repeats his question again.

“No, no, I heard you the first time. Uhh-” His thumb fidgets with his bottom lip as he tries to think about the specific moment. “I feel like I’m back in high school again.” He chuckles lightly. “It wasn’t necessarily a specific time, more like a lot of little things together, I think.”

“Suguboooo,” Satoru draws out, his tone whiny as he scrunches his nose and tilts his head back further into the pillow. “I could tell you exactly when I knew I liked you.” 

Suguru tilts his head to the side, intrigued. “Really?” He asks, now curious as to what it was that finally did it.

“Mmhm! On your first day I immediately knew that you were the hottest man I’d ever laid my eyes on,” Suguru rolls his eyes with a smile as Satoru tries to charm him. 

“Ehh, shut up.”

Satoru smiles, ignoring his comment before finishing his thought. “But when I really knew I liked you was when you switched ramen with me.”

Suguru’s eyes light up, remembering the moment well. He smiles as he thinks back. “Yeah, because I knew it would be too spicy for you.” 

“How could you possibly have known that?!” Satoru asks loudly.

“Baby, you told me while you were training me that you can’t handle spice.” Suguru explains, remembering how Satoru had explained that he doesn’t even like wasabi because it’s too much for him.

“And you remembered?!” 

“Of course I did.” Suguru says, sounds like it was no big deal. “And… It was my sad attempt at flirting with you.” Suguru admits, looking up at the ceiling, trying to suppress a smile as he thinks back in time.

“Suguru, you really are bad at flirting because I had no idea you liked me as more than friends right up until we were standing in that hotel room together.”

“Really?” Suguru asks, shocked by what he’s hearing. He felt like he was being too forward, but now he’s finding out that he wasn’t obvious enough. “I didn’t want to scare you away.” 

Satoru smiles at the screen, half of his face shoved into his pillow, but Suguru can still see the slight pink tint to his cheeks. “You’re cute.” 

Suguru smiles back at him, his cheeks making his eyes squeeze shut. His face is warm at Satoru’s comment. No matter how many times he hears a compliment from Satoru, it will always feel like the first time to him. He thinks for a moment longer before finally deciding on an answer to Satoru’s question. “I think I knew I liked you when we went out for drinks with Shoko for the first time.”

“What happened?” Satoru asks, curious to know more.

“You know… It was just something about the way you ordered a Shirley Temple with extra grenadine and extra cherries on the rocks.” Suguru says sarcastically, a smile on his face as he shakes his head, looking off into the distance and remembering exactly how he felt hearing those words come out of Satoru’s mouth.

“What can I say? I know what I like!”

“You couldn’t just order it like a normal person though?” Suguru asks, raising an eyebrow at him as they both chuckle thinking back to that night. 

“Was that really it?” Satoru asks with his eyebrows raised.

“Not solely that. More like just the whole night with you was really good.” He remembers how Satoru refused to let him pay for his own drinks, and then the two of them helping Shoko home and finally, their phone call to end out the night. “I specifically remember you jokingly saying ‘love you’ to Shoko and you immediately made eye contact with me for just a second, but I swear, my heart nearly exploded.” 

“Probably because I knew I loved you.” Satoru has a beaming smile, not even remembering saying that, but trusting him completely. “You’re cute...” He repeats from earlier. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, baby.” Suguru returns with a soft smile, thankful to have Satoru in his life. I don’t even remember what I was doing before having him in my life.

“So… How is it going over there?” Satoru asks, changing the subject once again, wanting to hear about how Suguru’s day was. 

“It’s alright…” Suguru takes a deep breath and lets it out with an unimpressed sigh. “I think you’d do better here.” His brows are knitted together, remembering the busy day that’s now behind him.

“What? Why?” Satoru’s voice is high pitched, now worried that Suguru had a bad first day in Kyoto.

“It’s a lot of talking to people.” Suguru says, thinking about how he didn’t really get a break at all during the day. 

“But Sugu, you talk to people all the time!” Satoru tries to make Suguru feel better, although he’s not entirely sure of what he can do or say to achieve that.

“Yeah but not like you can. I’m exhausted.” Suguru takes a deep breath and lets it out with another sigh, his eyes falling closed as he lays in silence for a moment while Satoru thinks of how to comfort Suguru. He has the blanket pulled up over his shoulders, holding it close to his neck, keeping himself warm in the cool air of his hotel room.

“Well, you only have one more day and then you can come home and not be bothered by anyone.”

“That includes you, right?” Suguru raises an eyebrow at him, slightly teasing.

“Oh, no, I’m obviously an exception.” Satoru says, shaking his head, sounding very matter-of-factly.

“What if I don't want an exception?” Suguru asks, his eyebrows raised, waiting patiently to hear Satoru’s answer. 

“Gugu, don't be crazy…” Satoru stares at him for a moment with his own eyebrows raised. “We both know you miss me too.”

“Nah, you're right….” Suguru smiles, knowing that he wants nothing more than to come home to Satoru after work on Monday and lay in his arms all night until they have to wake up for work again the next day. “What’re you gonna do tomorrow?” 

Satoru takes his bottom lip in between his teeth, thinking about it for the first time. “I’m actually not really sure. Probably just stay home and clean up around the house and finish some stuff Nanami asked me to work on.”

“You? Doing work on a Sunday?” Suguru is somewhat taken aback by his answer.

“Yeah, I don’t really have anything else to do, so might as well get started on it now.” 

“Satoru, why don’t you ever do that while I’m home? You’re goofing off at work so often that you get behind, but now you’re doing work at home on a weekend? I don’t know who I’m talking to anymore.”

“You’re so dramatic, Sugu.” Satoru says, brushing off his surprise with a smile. He pretends that he doesn’t realize Suguru’s teasing him.

“I’m the dramatic one?” Satoru nods his head in response. “Baby, you’re the biggest drama queen I know; I’m sure Shoko would agree.” 

“Okay okay, what’s wrong with me doing work on a weekend?”

“Nothing! Nothing’s wrong with it! I’m just a little surprised, is all.” Suguru spits out, not wanting to be the reason he doesn’t do it. Although no matter how behind he seems to get, Satoru somehow always catches back up by the end of the week. Suguru wishes he knew how Satoru did it, but attributes it to some higher power that gives him super speed when it comes to catching up. 

“You’re coming home to a changed man, Suguru.” Satoru declares with a deep voice and a serious look on his face.

“I can’t wait to see.” Suguru says with a smile that turns into a yawn. “Oh my-.” He says, stretching while he yawns, realizing how heavy his eyes are starting to feel. He watches as Satoru yawns on his screen.

“Stop that! You’re making me yawn too.”

“Sorry baby, I’m just pretty tired, I guess.” Suguru says, rubbing one of his eyes, trying to stay awake so that he can keep talking to Satoru.

“I’ll let you get your rest, sleeping beauty.” Satoru says with a smile, his eyes starting to feel heavy as well. “I’m getting pretty tired too.” 

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow?” Suguru asks, now knowing that Satoru’s also tired and their call is probably just about over.

“I promise I’ll answer the phone normally this time.” Satoru jokes, poking fun at himself, but also making Suguru laugh in the process. 

“I’m not complaining about how you answered this time!” Suguru shoots back with a sleepy laugh.

“I’ll remember that.” Satoru says with a crazed smile on his face. “Sleep well, okay?” 

“You too… I love you.”

“I love you too, Gugu. Goodnight.” Satoru’s voice is quiet, sounding sleepy as he lays in his bed all alone. 

“Goodnight Satoru.” Suguru says with a sleepy smile before begrudgingly hanging up the call. He makes sure that his alarm is set for the morning before he sets his phone on the nightstand and rolls back over, wrapping his arm over his pillow and shoving his face into it. He closes his eyes, quickly falling asleep with a soft smile on his face, happy to have ended the day talking to his favorite white-haired idiot. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Suguru wakes up with plenty of time to get ready before he has to be downstairs again to meet Nanami for their second day of events. He texts Satoru good morning even though he knows he’ll still be asleep for a while before getting dressed. Wearing a white short sleeve and light brown pants, he pulls up all of his hair into a bun before grabbing his phone and his bag to head downstairs. 

After making it down to the lobby, he grabs a quick breakfast and sits down at a table in the corner. He sits in the seat facing the room so he can people watch. He finds himself looking at his phone, waiting and hoping that Satoru might wake up before he gets really busy for the day. He watches as people eat their breakfast, thinking about all the different details that he and Satoru would come up with for each one of them. Picking up his phone, he decides to text Satoru again, knowing that he’ll see it eventually. 

‘The hotel has chocolate croissants you would probably die for 😵’ Suguru smiles as he clicks send. He knows Satoru will appreciate the message when he eventually wakes up later. 

After cleaning up after himself, he heads back out towards the lobby where he’s going to meet up with Nanami. He sits down in one of the seating areas to wait for him to come downstairs. He’s only waiting for a couple minutes when he hears his name from behind him.

“Geto?” Nanami calls out as he approaches Suguru. He turns his head around to see the familiar face and goes to stand up. “Is it okay if I sit, actually?” Nanami asks, gesturing to the seat across from Suguru. 

“Go ahead.” Suguru says with a smile, relaxing back into his chair. 

“Sleep well?” Nanami asks, leaning back into his seat.

“Yeah, I was pretty tired, I guess.” Suguru says with a soft smile. He thinks back to the previous night, chewing on the inside of his bottom lip to keep himself from smiling too much as he remembers. 

“Me too… Should be done a little earlier today though, thankfully.” Nanami looks down at his watch as he speaks, presumably checking how long until they need to head into the conference hall.

“It’s not too bad. At least it’s interesting stuff.” Suguru says, fidgeting with his fingers. He was excited not just about learning new things, but also that Nanami had asked him to come along to this conference with him. There were a handful of other people that could’ve taken Suguru’s place, but Nanami insisted that he come. 

“I’m happy to hear that.” Nanami says, pressing his lips together and inhaling through his nose. “Would you be interested in doing stuff like this more often?”

Suguru is caught slightly off guard at his question, not sure what he’s getting at. He thinks about it for a moment, furrowing his brows for a second before answering. “Yeah, I’m really liking doing more with all the different departments and getting into things like this.” Suguru smiles as he talks. He enjoys his job, but he can’t help but think that he has the potential to achieve more. He has plenty of work, but a good chunk of it’s just busy work that anyone could do. “I just feel like I could be doing more.”

“Good, good.” Nanami says, nodding his head slowly, a gentle smile on his face. “Well I just thought I’d tell you about it because as soon as Yaga asked if I had anyone in mind, you were the first person that came to mind. You’re coming up on a year with the company, and you were more than qualified when we hired you,” Suguru listens, not sure where Nanami is going, but interested to hear more. “But the vice president of operations is retiring next year and I think you would make a really great candidate…” 

Suguru doesn’t know what to say. He sits there with his mouth slightly ajar, trying to process what Nanami just said. Vice president of operations? That sounds insane. He can feel his heart beating hard in his chest. Am I having a heart attack? Don’t be stupid, breathe. He takes a deep breath in through his nose. “R-really?” He finally gets out, not really sure of what else to say.

Nanami nods his head, a serious look on his face. “This is just talk right now, but within the next couple months we should know more about what they’re looking for, but I just wanted to bring it up to you so that you could think it over a little bit.”

Suguru takes another deep breath, trying to take it all in. “Would it be back in Tokyo?” He doesn’t really know what to ask, and just asks the first thing that comes to his mind.

“You would mainly be at our main headquarters in Yokohama, but also working and visiting at all the different branches around the country.” Suguru’s eyes widen at the thought. He feels like his chest is going to explode. The thought that out of the entire office, Nanami would even think of nominating him for the position makes his head spin. 

Suguru hadn’t really thought about switching positions, especially to something as high up as vice president of operations. “I, uh- sorry, I just really don’t know what to say.” Suguru stutters.

“Well, like I said, nothing’s set in stone yet, but just… Give it some thought.” Nanami says with a straight smile, looking down at his watch before standing up. Suguru follows suit, standing up and grabbing his things. 

“I definitely will… Thank you.” He says, the corners of his mouth turning up at the prospect of a new position. He follows Nanami into the conference hall, trying to push the rapid thoughts and questions flying through his head to the back of his mind as they get ready for another day of meetings before heading back to Tokyo in the morning. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Suguru rereads the early morning text he received from Satoru as he walks through the train car on the way to his seat. 

‘Good mprning gugu! See you whrn you get here! 😁😙’ It was sent at 3:54am, which makes sense with the typos. He was probably half asleep when he sent this. Suguru reads the new text he had just received from Satoru with a smile on his face as he makes it to his seat on the train. ‘I was half asleep when I sent that…’ Along with a picture of a very sleepy looking Satoru relaxed deep into his pillows. Suguru immediately saves the picture, unable to keep from smiling as he looks at it. Satoru’s eyes are barely open, but their blue color shines through perfectly. His white lashes look perfect and somehow his hair as well. He has the blanket pulled up to his chin, but you’re still able to easily see the sleepy smile on his face from knowing that Suguru is coming home today. 

Suguru makes it to his seat alone; he’s sitting by himself this time, although he’s still up against the window. Looking through the glass, all he sees is an identical train on the tracks next to them, blocking the current view. The seat next to him remains empty, but the rows surrounding him are all full. He silently hopes that the seat stays empty, not wanting to feel obligated to talk to someone if they try to chat with him. He smiles down at the text on his phone, quickly typing out and sending a response.

‘Gm sleepyhead, wdy want for breakfast?’ He looks at the time. It’s just after 8, so Satoru should definitely be awake and dressed by now, if not already getting ready to leave. He shakes his head, knowing that Satoru will probably be at least a few minutes late in getting to the office. The train soon leaves the station, heading back towards Tokyo with a lurch forward. Suguru pulls out his laptop, ready to work on his normal weekly duties, looking out the window for a moment as they start picking up speed. He watches for a moment as the city speeds by, taking in the view. 

It doesn’t take long for Satoru to answer. ‘Whatever you want! I’m not picky today’

Suguru smiles at his phone before typing out his response. ‘Guess it’ll be a surprise then 😙’  He sends it and starts looking at places that are on the way to the office that he could stop at to pick them something up. He quickly finds a cafe that has breakfast sandwiches close to the train station and decides on that for when he arrives back in Tokyo. 

‘As long as you’re here idc what you bring my sweet 🥹🥹’

Suguru taps the heart reaction and sets his phone back down, ready to catch up on the work he’s going to miss by being late, but also hoping that Satoru gets up and gets himself to work if he stops texting him. 

Suguru pops in his headphones, clicking play on the same playlist that Satoru is listening to while he gets ready for work. He works away on his laptop diligently, but can’t stop thinking about what Nanami had told him about yesterday. Am I really qualified to be the VP of Operations? I guess Nanami wouldn’t tell me about it if he didn’t think I was. But why me? He continues his work, unable to rid the thoughts from his mind as the train races down the tracks back towards the east.

Should I tell Satoru? Of course I should! Wait, no I shouldn’t. Nanami said it wasn’t even a sure thing yet. I should tell him though. But I don’t want to get his hopes up just for Nanami to forget about ever mentioning it. He has a long mental battle with himself off and on the entire trip back to Tokyo. 

Before the train pulls back into Tokyo Station, Suguru makes sure he has everything and throws his bag over his shoulder when the train finally comes to a stop. It only takes a couple minutes before he’s out in front of the station that he was in just two days prior. He pulls up directions to the cafe he had found and makes quick work of the short walk, his long legs carrying him quickly down the sidewalk.

He breathes in the late morning air, looking up to the sky as he feels the warm sunlight bathe the skin of his face, his hair pulled back into a bun and off his neck. Letting his breath out with a satisfied sigh, he can see the cafe up ahead. Having already ordered while he was still on the train, he grabs the sandwiches for him and Satoru, as well as the piece of banana bread cake he picked out for Satoru, knowing he’ll appreciate it. 

He quickly makes his way back towards the train station by Satoru’s apartment to head towards the office. Looking down at his watch, it’s just past 10:30. I should be there by 11 at the latest. He walks quickly with the bag safely in his hand and makes it onto the train platform. It’s not as busy as it usually is in the mornings, because most people are at work already, so once the train arrives, he has no problem finding an open seat.

Sitting down close to the door, he sets his bag down on the floor between his feet and holds onto the bag with their food. The ride is quick and Suguru makes his way off at the stop just a couple blocks from the office, making sure he has the food, otherwise Satoru wouldn’t let him hear the end of it. He texts Satoru, getting more and more eager to see him the closer towards the office the train travels.

‘See you soon 👀’ Suguru sends the message as the building comes into view at last. He squints and shields his eyes as he looks up towards the top, the sun shining bright against the reflective windows of the tall skyscraper that their office called home.

‘How soon???’ Satoru responds almost immediately. Suguru chuckles lightly to himself as a second text comes in. ‘Gugu I have your location I can see that you’re here 🙄🥱’

‘Shouldnt you be working instead of stalking me???? 🤨’

The speed at which Satoru responds is impressive. ‘Shouldn’t you be getting your ass up here instead of texting me??? 🤨’ Suguru chuckles lightly before he slips his phone back into his pocket and pulls open the front door of the building to make his way inside. 

Suguru heads over to visit the small coffee shop before heading towards the elevators. “Good morning Geto!” The bubbly blue haired girl says with a smile from behind the counter. 

“Good morning Miwa.” He greets her, returning the smile with a small wave.

“Um, Gojo already got his coffee this morning…” She starts, knowing that Suguru doesn't ever buy coffee for himself. Suguru would make his own coffee in the mornings, so he would only ever get drinks for Satoru or sometimes Shoko if he pissed her off and needed a way to apologize. 

“I’m actually getting something for myself for once.” He replies with a tired smile, desperately in need of caffeine after his long morning. 

“Oh! Well what can I get you?” She asks, her voice rising in pitch with her surprise, just happy to help. 

Suguru orders an Americano, just wanting the quickest, easiest thing to make before heading up to the office. Miwa gets to making it and has it out promptly, not currently having to worry about any other customers. 

“Thank you Miwa.” Suguru says with a sweet smile as she hands him the warm paper to-go cup. He goes to take a sip, but quickly realizes that he’d better wait for it to cool down slightly before he burns a layer of his mouth and tongue off. 

“See you tomorrow, Geto!” She calls out after him happily. 

He waves, stepping backwards with a smile into the elevator. He clicks the 36 button and backs into the corner, not wanting to take up too much space. There are a few other buttons lit up along with the few other people in the small space, all heading to different floors. The ride is quiet, just the sound of rustling jackets and bags with the movement of people coming and going the higher up they get. It finally reaches the 36th floor and Suguru steps out, heading down the hallway towards the office with his drink in one hand and the bag with his and Satoru’s food in the other. 

He carefully and skillfully taps his key card to the door, hearing the lock click before he pulls it open with one finger while the rest grip tightly onto the bag, not wanting to let it fall from his grasp. The door closes softly behind him as he walks down the hallway, turning right at the first opening and immediately making eye contact with Satoru. Both of their faces are immediately plastered with smiles.

Satoru is sat in his chair at his desk as Suguru walks in and sets the bag down on his desk before heading back to drop his things off at his own desk. He notices that Shoko isn’t at her desk and turns back to Satoru. “Hi baby.” Suguru softly says with a wide grin as he heads back over to Satoru’s desk with empty arms. His words are music to Satoru’s ears. Without warning, he reaches up and grabs onto Suguru’s tie before gently pulling him down in close. Not wanting to fall over, Suguru rests a hand on each of the arms rests on Satoru’s chair, momentarily caging him in. Satoru continues pulling him in closer until their lips finally meet gingerly. They smile against each other’s lips, neither of them wanting to pull away yet. Suguru feels like he’s drinking from a well of crystal clear, ice-cold water after being lost in the desert for days. He can’t believe how much he missed the feeling. 

“Mmm.” Satoru hums, not letting go of Suguru’s tie just yet. “Missed you, Sugu.” He whispers against Suguru’s lips, his breath tickling Suguru’s skin. 

“Missed you too, baby.” Suguru says, giving Satoru one more quick kiss before feeling the tension from his tie being held fall away. He stands back up, not wanting anyone to walk by and see, but realizes he’s too late when Shoko quickly rounds the corner into their area and lets out a groan.

“Ew.” They hear her say as she plops back down into her chair. “Get a room.” She teases, acting as if she’s thoroughly disgusted as she turns back to face her computer. 

“You’re just mad that you’re lonely.” Suguru teases back, heading back to sit down at his own desk. He doesn’t notice the eye contact that Satoru and Shoko quickly make, but he does notice the silence. “You two aren’t telling me something…” Suguru says, looking up between the two of them, his golden eyes narrowed at both of them. 

Neither one of them says anything as they try not to look guilty, but Satoru quickly transitions and opens up the bag and pulls out the food, excited to see what Suguru picked out. Suguru decides to ignore it and plans on asking Satoru about it later, not wanting to push more on it right now. 

“Which one of these is yours?” Satoru asks, pulling the three things out of the bag. 

“I got us both the same thing, but the box is for you.” Suguru watches as Satoru rolls over to give him his sandwich. “Thank you.” He whispers, a soft smile still on his face as he watches Satoru with reverent eyes, just taking him in after being away for two nights.

Satoru rolls back to his desk and immediately opens the box. He lets out a small gasp upon seeing the piece of banana bread cake. Suguru smiles to himself at the sound of Satoru’s surprise. “Thank you Sugu.” Satoru says, the smile loud in his voice. 

“You’re welcome, Satoru.” Suguru says, still looking at his computer screen, wanting to start to get to work. He finally starts to notice tiny origami animals hidden all over his desk, along with notes pinned to the sides of his cubicle, all from Satoru. “I was only 2 hours late, when did you make all of these?”

“It was a long two hours!”

“Have you done any work today?” Suguru keeps noticing more and more hidden notes and origami creations the more he looks around. They're in his inbox, inside drawers, taped to the sides of his monitor - everywhere.

“No he hasn’t, and he’s made it my problem too.” Shoko grumbles from her desk, her chin resting in her palm as she stares blankly at her monitor. Suguru shakes his head, looking over at Satoru with a disapproving look. Satoru looks back with a pout on his lips, leaving Suguru unable to hide the upturn of the corners of his mouth. Suguru shakes his head at him once more before getting into what he had been working on while on the train. As time goes on, he gathers all of Satoru’s paper creations into one small army of cranes, sailboats, frogs and what seem to be - fish? He pushes them all to the side of his desk, not quite sure what to do with them just yet.

There’s also about 10 different sticky notes around his cubicle, all different colors and all with Satoru’s familiar handwriting on them. His penmanship is neat and pretty to look at, Suguru easily reading all of the notes as he collects them together. They each have only a few words scribbled on them, but every one of them has the same heart drawn on them, making Suguru smile to himself. He keeps one up that reads, “sugu, my one and only ♡ ” He chuckles lightly as he reads it and decides to stick it on one of his monitors. The rest of them find spots in his drawers and one gets hidden under his keyboard; a small doodle of Shiro sleeping peacefully. 

The three of them work quietly with soft music playing from the speaker at Shoko’s desk giving them something to listen to. Suguru is just about done responding to his emails when his phone starts ringing, making him jump slightly. He reaches out and grabs it, seeing Utahime’s name on the display. 

Suguru clears his throat as he brings the phone up to his ear. “This is Geto.”

“Hey Geto! can you come down to my office for just a minute?” 

“Yeah, did you want me to bring my receipts?” He asks, grabbing the folder out of his bag that housed all of his receipts from the trip. 

“Yes please.” She says, sounding like there’s a smile on her face.

“I’ll be right there.” 

“Thanks!” Suguru sets the phone back down on the receiver and stands up.

“Ooooh.” Both Satoru and Shoko snicker in unison, looking up at Suguru with mischievous smiles. “You’re in troubleee.” Satoru continues teasing, watching as Suguru steps out of his cubicle.

“Yep, I bet they’re gonna fire me.” Suguru says with a shrug, looking down at Satoru with his eyebrows raised and the corners of his mouth downturned dramatically. 

“If that were true, Gojo and I would be long gone.” Shoko says, shaking her head.

“Just gotta go give Utahime my receipts from the trip, nothing crazy.” Suguru reassures everyone before he steps out into the hallway and takes a right towards Utahime’s office. On the way, he passes Ijichi and gives him a polite smile. “Good morning, Ijichi.” 

“Good morning, Geto.” Ijichi says softly, seeming to be on his way towards the direction of Shoko and Satoru. Suguru continues on his way towards Utahime’s office, passing the break room and finally making it to her doorway. He knocks softly on the door frame to get her attention. 

“Hey!” She says, sounding slightly out of breath as she looks up at who’s standing in the doorway to her office. “Come on in.” She says, gesturing towards the chairs across from her desk. “How was the trip?” She asks as Suguru sits down in one of the grey armchairs.

“Good, yeah, it was good… Lotta info.” He says, raising his eyebrows as he answers, thinking about all the different topics that were discussed. “If I didn’t have it all written down I think I’d forget 90% of the things they talked about.” Suguu says with a nervous chuckle.

“Oh, I bet.” Utahime says, shaking her head as she rests her chin in her palm. “It’s definitely a lot.”

Suguru pulls out his small bunch of receipts and hands them over to her. “Here’s these for you.” 

“Thank you.” She says, straightening them all out neatly before paperclipping them all together. “This really makes it a lot easier to do the bank reconciliation at the end of the month, I really appreciate you being so organized.”

“No problem!” Suguru relaxes back into the chair, his fingers tapping mindlessly on the arm rest. “Did you need anything else from me?” He asks, his eyes looking around her office at the cozy decorations she has around the small space.

“Actually…” She starts, “I have a question for you, but it’s not about work.” Pulling out her phone and unlocking it, she starts swiftly tapping away at her screen, trying to find what she's looking for. 

“Oh, yeah, what’s up?” He asks, sitting forward in the chair, wondering where the conversation is going. 

“Do you know which one of these I should get for Shoko? I mean- like- which one would she like the most?” Utahime spits out her words, sounding slightly flustered just to be asking the question. 

Ohhh- I see what’s going on here. She holds up her phone to him, showing Suguru what looks like a cart full of different bottles of gin. He chuckles lightly, taking the phone from her hand and looking through to see if he sees the one he knows is her favorite. “Definitely this one. Etsu’s her favorite.” He says, clicking on it and handing her phone back over the desk with a smile. 

“You sure?” She asks, looking at him with an arched eyebrow.

Suguru nods his head, reassuring her in his answer. “Definitely. You have no idea how many bottles of Etsu I’ve had to buy for her.” Suguru says with another light chuckle. Although they weren’t extremely close before he moved to Tokyo, they had become a lot closer in the past 10 months, largely due to Satoru. Their distant cousin-like relationship quickly turned to something more akin to siblings; but that meant more opportunities for him to piss her off and need something to apologize with. 

“Okay,” She says with a sigh as she sits back in her seat. “Thanks a lot.” 

“No problem.” Suguru says with a smile, not bothering to ask any more questions, not wanting to embarrass her, but also understanding that it isn’t really his place to ask. He uses his hands to push himself up out of the chair and stands back up, ready to head back to his desk when he hears a voice from the doorway. He turns to see Nanami peeking his head in the door.

“I’m back.” Nanami says with a small wave, letting Utahime know that he’s made it back. 

“Good trip?” Utahime asks as Suguru looks between the two of them.

“Oh yeah.” Nanami says, nodding his head approvingly. “We got a lot done, learned a lot, overall really good.” He continues, looking at Suguru with a smile as he finishes his sentence. 

“Good to hear, good to hear.” Utahime says, nodding as she looks up at the two men with a smile. 

“‘Kay, you know where to find me.” 

“Yep.” Utahime says with a straight lipped smile, looking back at her monitor as Nanami back out into the hallway to head towards his office. Suguru follows back out as well with one last quick thank you to Utahime. 

“Busy morning?” Nanami asks, stopping before heading across the hallway to his own office. 

“Uh, not too bad, actually.” Suguru says, shaking his head.

“That’s good. If you find some downtime in the next few days, come find me, I have some things you could work on.” Nanami says, digging through his pocket to pull out his keys. “But don’t stress about it if you don’t have time, I can do it.”

“Sounds good.” Suguru says, nodding with a soft smile on his lips. The only thing that rushes into his mind is their conversation the day before, once again. As he makes his way back towards his desk, his thoughts continue racing again. What if they don’t even pick me? What would I be doing? He said something about traveling to branches all over the country. As he slowly walks back, he’s just thinking anything and everything about the possible job opportunity Nanami had presented him with. He continues the mental battle of if he should tell Satoru about it, but continues to try to push the thought to the back of his mind, burying it entirely with what’s going on now. He said it wouldn’t even be for a few months, anyway. Stop worrying about it. 

Suguru rounds the corner back into their group of cubicles and right away sees a tensed up looking Ijichi standing between Satoru and Shoko. 

“Oh good, Suguru, you’re back!” Satoru shouts out a little too enthusiastically. Ijichi looks horrified; like he’s trapped in between two feral animals fighting over the last piece of food. His eyes scream ‘I wish I was anywhere but here right now.’

“What’s going on?” Suguru asks, suspicion in his voice as he looks around with a raised eyebrow. 

“We just need you to answer one question for us.” Shoko says, looking up at Suguru, sitting back in her chair with her arms and legs crossed and a sly look on her face.

“And that question would be?” He asks, looking between all three of them, waiting for one of them to speak up. This has to be something serious. He looks at Satoru as he starts to eagerly speak up.

“Have you ever watched the Bachelorette?”

chapter 20

[gamerism]

Yakuza 6 VS The Larger RGG Fandom

I've had a lot of time to think about why Yakuza 6's ending is so hated by the wider fandom despite it not being poorly written, out of character or thematically dissonant to the rest of the game.

And it comes down to subconscious expectations. The expectations Yakuza 5 set, and 6 doubled down on without meaning to, and the failure to meet them.

[Spoilers for Yakuza 0, 5, 6, Infinite Wealth and allusions to Kiryu's Gaiden game.]

If you stop and think about it Yakuza 6's ending closely mirrors Majima and Makoto's ending in Yakuza 0. Two scenes of someone walking away and giving up the chance at an important connection in their life, to protect that person (or people).

So why do people despise it in 6 if so many of them really enjoy the tragedy of it in 0?

Yakuza 0 begins setting up the impossible odds Kiryu and Majima are up against early on. And it delivers on that with an ending where they don't win, not meaningfully. The Tojo Clan, its executives (Shimano, Sera, Kazama, ect) are unharmed by the squabble, they lose no power because of it. The only one who faces long term consequences & loss of power is Dojima, because both Kazama and Sera conspire against him (and use Kiryu & Majima as their weapons to achieve this). Kiryu and Majima are just too far down the power structure to make meaningful change to it. So sure, they win their final fights, they get a bit of peace from the clan wide hunts that were set on them, but they don't win. So Majima giving up the chance to have Makoto in his life...it just feels like a natural part of that whole bittersweet mess. By the time the scene arrives it's what the player expects, even if it tears your heart out.

Yakuza 5 opens on Kiryu in conflict. He's the most visibly miserable and angry we've ever seen him. Because a wedge has been pushed between him and Morning Glory (and Haruka specifically). He clearly hates it, but he's been convinced its for the better. This naturally sets up the expectation that the resolution to his story in this game, will be the situation being fixed. The game fails the first step of this by killing off Park before her arch can be finished and leaving her and Haruka in the lurch. And then the game proceeds not to deliver on this resolution, Kiryu collapses in the snow, he doesn't see the Morning Glory kids again. Haruka arrives just before he loses consciousness.

The lack of resolution here doesn't frustrate too much, because the game is subtextually saying "if there's a yakuza 6, that's when this will be resolved". So we can all content ourselves in the mean time. (I do feel pity for the fans who had to wait all those years, I was lucky to get into the series long after 6 had released and didn't have to wait to know whether Kiryu died in the snow).

Yakuza 6 opens in a way I don't think any fan would expect from a game that starts to tell us its the end of Kiryu's saga. (It wasn't, obviously, but I fully believe personally that it was planned to be at the time. So I read the themes and intentions of the story from that perspective). The three Jimas get carted straight out of the story, despite Majima & Daigo's personal importance to Kiryu, poor choice, but whatever. And Kiryu decided to go back to prison, thus undoing his character growth in Yakuza 1 where he realised that doing so didn't help anything. That it was a selfish need to martyr and not a noble action, but whatever. Things pick up after this.

We're immediately set at odds to resolving that still ongoing issue of Kiryu & Morning Glory, left feeling jilted by the sudden knowledge that Kiryu lost another 3 years to prison without seeing the kids. But once he's finally out the first place he returns to is Okinawa, and we get a sweet reunion.

And I think this is where the writers think they have resolved what was set up in Yakuza 5, and thus move ahead with the rest of the plot unburdened. But in actuality this reunion isn't really resolution, all Kiryu does is spend 5 minutes with them, he's been gone for 5 years, the discontent ends when he gets to/chooses to stay at Morning Glory again. Not see it briefly.

The reunion ends up reinforcing that the conflict from 5 is ongoing, not resolving it. Oops.

The rest of the plot progresses and Kiryu goes to find Haruka, then track down Haruto's father, all the while the game is steeped in this feeling of things coming to an end. Of things almost being over. Underlining the feeling in the player that Kiryu's story is coming to an end. And after so much hardship, and so much misery in recent years, of course we expect a happy ending. Or at least we hope. And the game does nothing to dissuade that notion.

Finally we come to the ending, and Kiryu realising that no matter what he does that people will never stop targeting the people he cares about while he's still alive. And he once again makes a noble sacrifice to protect them. (The repeat of this behaviour grates to see, even if he is mostly correct in this instance).

He walks away. From Haruka, from everyone at Morning Glory. He walks away from any possible happy ending. And the game, in one horrible moment, without even realising we were still expecting this, rips away the assumption that it was ever going to resolve that conflict that started all the way back in the opening of Yakuza 5. Leaving us feeling frustrated, confused, disappointed, and such.

I can't help but lament this particular blunder of writing, because taken out of this context, Yakuza 6's ending is a beautiful tragedy. It elicits the same feelings as that scene with Majima walking away in the street. It's bittersweet. It's sad, and that's the point. You're sad in just the same way as Kiryu.

But I don't think the scene was written taking in larger context. Kiryu's had a life of massive hardship, struggling for so long to achieve a peaceful civilian life. In larger context, this ending just says "and he never got that". Which is kind of demoralising to hear about such a beloved character.

The ending seems to sour a lot of people on the entire game, and if it did for you I urge you to give the rest of Yakuza 6's story a second shot. The tone of the game, the pacing, the almost liminal feeling of Ono Michi... I think so much of 6 is beautiful. And if not for the ending, the Jimas non-presence, and perhaps the unnecessary and frankly strange inclusion of the Jingweon mafia that a lot of people would recognise much of the game as some of RGG's best writing (not ahead of Yakuza 0 or Yakuza 7, necessarily, but just after them).

I especially hope people can rethink their position now that 6 isn't the end of Kiryu's saga or his story.

His Gaiden game didn't give a resolution to this conflict either but Like A Dragon: Infinite Wealth did.

A lot of people have quite fairly reached a point where they need to see it with their own eyes (quite fair after 4 games of this), and threw their hands up at that final cutscene ending just before we could see it, but Kiryu and Haruka did reunite. Kiryu did decide to fight his cancer and live as long as he could. And I think, or hope, that however long he has he spends with all those kids that have grown up now. That more of them come to visit.

[icemavs]

homecoming

Bradley is finally home (explicit, 4.4k, ao3)

Bradley woke up to the loadmaster on the C-17 telling him that they were close to landing in San Diego and he needed to get in his seat. He pulled himself off the cold floor and cranked his neck to the side to get all the cricks out before buckling himself back into the jump seat. Sleeping on the floor of a C-17 wasn’t his favorite thing in the world, but if it meant he could get home to Jake early, then he would take it over the bunks on the ship any day.

His tenure in Japan was over quickly, just a few stops at three different bases to impart some knowledge on the pilots stationed there and then he could go home. Bradley had been attached to one of the squadrons on the Lincoln in the past, so it was easy for him to jump in for a couple months to get him out across the sea. Plus, it was always fun to see Coyote and the other guys and fly with them for a few weeks.

Japan was one of his favorite places to go on a deployment, he enjoyed the western Pacific much more than the Mediterranean. Even though the weather was usually better in the eastern Med, the amount of green he saw in Japan and the Philippines was no match. He loved the amount of outdoors stuff he could do – hiking, snorkeling, kayaking, and so much more – and the food was his favorite. They didn’t stop in Okinawa very often with the carrier, but he would travel down there to talk to the Marines sometimes, and his favorite ramen place was on the island. He even had his picture on the wall after trying and finishing a bowl with the highest spice level. Japan was also special to Bradley because that’s where he had met Jake for the first time.

They both were on the same carrier, but different squadrons, so they didn’t interact too much outside of sometimes flying together. One day, they were mission planning and trying to get the same airspace despite there not being enough room for both flights to happen there. They met in one of the briefing rooms with their instructors to talk about who had precedence, but the discussion turned to an argument between Jake and Bradley and almost turned to blows at one point. Their instructors had to pull them apart to keep them from ripping the other’s head off.

Once he had gotten back to his own squadron’s briefing room, Bradley had felt the anger simmering just under his skin and he was trying to get his breathing to return to normal. At the time, he was sure it was just anger, but as the years went on the lines got blurred. They worked with each other a few more times after that, nearly crossing paths at TOPGUN the first time. It was probably for the best that they weren’t in the same class, it may have ended badly for everyone involved. When they eventually ended up on the mission together with the rest of the team, the uncomfortable tension that filled every room they were in came to a head one night in the showers. They had started yelling at each other and were eventually standing nose to nose when Jake leaned forward and pressed his lips to Bradley’s. Bradley was surprised right away, but his body caught up before his brain and he pushed Jake against the shower wall. Before he really registered it, Bradley was on his knees faced with Jake’s cock hard and hanging in front of him. The rest of the time before the mission and leading up to the present day had flown by.

The plane jumped from turbulence and Bradley was jolted back to the present day. He grabbed his backpack from the floor and hugged it to his chest. He was exhausted but so happy to be home. Being away was part of the job, but it never got easier. It was nearly torture being away from Jake and his mom and Mav and Ice for so long, even though it was only a couple months and not a year at a time like it used to be. A few long minutes later, the C-17 touched down at North Island and Bradley could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

He heaved his backpack onto his shoulder and stepped down onto the flight line. The San Diego air was warm and thick with the March rain that must have just fallen. When Bradley stepped into the hangar, he was hit by a warm force from his left side that nearly knocked him off his feet.

“Oof!” was the surprised sound that escaped his mouth. He turned his head to the side and saw it was Jake. Looking just a bit farther, he saw his mom, Mav, and Ice standning near the door smiling as they watched Jake ambush Bradley.

When Jake peeled himself away, he looked up at Bradley with a smirk on his face and a slight blush dusting the tops of his cheeks.

“Bradshaw, as I live and breathe,” Jake breathed out when he’d composed himself a bit more.

“Jake, you look good, baby,” Bradley said to him.

“I am good, I’m very good.”

Bradley just laughed and stepped forward to press a kiss to his lips. It was heated and full of everything Bradley had wanted to say to Jake about how much he missed him while he was gone. Jake made a small sound Bradley pushed his tongue into his mouth. When he pulled away, Bradley leaned forward a bit more to whisper in Jake’s ear. “We have an audience now, but just wait until we get home,” he said. Jake shuddered under Bradley’s hands and the blush on his face grew to a deeper pink. He grabbed Jake by the hand and started walking toward the others. “Hey, everyone, I missed you guys,” he said to the group. Bradley hugged his mom and gave Mav and Ice a firm handshake each.

The group stood around and chatted while they waited for Bradley’s bags to get unloaded off the plane. Bradley told them what he could about his trip, mostly for his mom’s sake since he would tell Ice and Mav more about it later when he eventually got back to work. When it started to look like his bags would be a while, the rest of the group left Jake behind to wait with Bradley. He waved goodbye with the promise of getting lunch with them the next day.

Shortly after, it was just Jake and Bradley standing in the hangar while some supply troops unloaded the cargo. They were standing close enough to each other that Bradley could feel the heat coming off Jake’s body. Their silence was comfortable, as it usually was, but this time it was charged. Bradley had been half hard since he kissed Jake, and he assumed Jake was in the same boat.

Jake cleared his throat. “So how was the flight?” he asked.

“It was fine, a little bumpy over Washington, but overall not too bad. I’ve had worse,” Bradley said. “I’m ready to be home, though,” he finished with a wink in Jake’s direction.

“Uh huh, I’m sure you are.” Jake smiled at Bradley, but there was an underlying message in his smirk. Once that Bradley was sure to enjoy later.

All Bradley could think of once they’d fallen back into their comfortable silence was taking Jake on the floor of the hangar where they stood. He was ready to deal with the consequences of his knees on the concrete if it meant he could get his hands on Jake. Bradley’s bags were finally unloaded off the pallet and he was allowed to leave, Jake in tow.

The car ride started silently, Bradley allowing Jake to drive the Bronco because two months of driving on the opposite side of the road was something that took some time to snap out of and he really didn’t want to get into a car accident. Instead, Bradley let his hand wander over to rest on Jake’s thigh as he drove them down the highway. Jake’s breath was steady as they conversed casually about the weather and how much it had rained that day. Bradley moved his hand slowly up Jake’s thigh and massaged the muscle gently and Jake took a sharp breath.

“Bradley,” Jake warned from the driver’s seat when their conversation had waned.

“Yes, Jakey?” Bradley said innocently with a smile on his face.

Jake didn’t say anything more and just shook his head. They kept on like that, Jake driving in relative silence with his eyes locked onto the road and Bradley’s fingers gently squeezing for drawing circles on the inside of Jake’s thigh. Based on the cadence of Jake’s breathing, Bradley could tell that he was incredibly turned on, but so was Bradley. He moved his hand up slightly to start massaging the space next to his dick. Jake’s mouth dropped open with a small gasp but he kept his eyes forward. Bradley could feel that he was rock hard in his shorts and he smiled to himself. Knowing how much of an effect he had on Jake without having to say anything was making Bradley just as turned on as Jake was. Jake shifted in his seat but still kept his thoughts to himself.

After just a few more minutes of Bradley torturing Jake, they pulled into the parking lot of their apartment building. It was a quick walk up as they had opted to leave Bradley’s large bags in the car for the night and just take his backpack with his essentials inside.

As soon as they were through the door, Bradley dropped his backpack on the ground and locked the door behind him. When he turned back around, Jake was already on his way down the hall to the bedroom. Bradley laughed out loud to himself and kicked his shoes off.

When he got to the bedroom a few short minutes later, Jake was sprawled out on the bed in just his tented boxers with his arm thrown across his face.

“You’re going to be the death of me, you know,” Jake said without moving.

“Why’s that?” Bradley asked as he bent down to shed his flight suit and crawled into bed in just his t-shirt and boxers. “Because I’m just so charming and lovable?”

“Yeah, that,” Jake replied with a snort.

Bradley finally sat down next to Jake and rested his hand on Jake’s stomach. Jake still didn’t move, but his chest jumped with a silent gasp. Bradley laid down beside Jake and started pressing kissing along the side of his neck.

“You’re not allowed to leave me anymore,” Jake said with a sigh. “I can’t do phone sex and FaceTime sex and whatever forever. It’s never gonna be as good as the real thing.”

“You’re right, it’s not,” Bradley told him between kisses. “But every time I get off in my hotel room, it’s with your name on my lips.”

Jake groaned and rolled onto his side to press his lips to Bradley’s. His hands started to roam around Bradley’s body, grabbing hold of anything he could.

“God, Bradley, you kill me,” Jake breathed. “I tried using my fingers most nights but it just wasn’t enough. I need you so bad, Bradley.” Bradley captured Jake’s lips in another kiss, but this time it was more heated than the first.

Bradley rolled Jake over onto his back and crawled on top, trapping Jake’s hips with his own and holding Jake’s arms above his head. He licked his way into Jake’s mouth for a few minutes and held him steady.

“God, I missed you too much,” Bradley said. “Maybe you’re right, I can’t go on deployments anymore, no matter how short.” He paused. “Unless you come with me next time.” Bradley leaned down to kiss Jake again.

Jake pulled back before their lips could meet. “And have to get away with either fucking in a tiny bunk or having to not get fucked while you’re right there for a month while we sail?” Jake scoffed but paused and actually thought about it for a moment. “Actually, yeah that could be fun. Like old times.”

Bradley laughed but ground his hips down into Jake’s at the same time. Jake groaned and threw his head back. Bradley took advantage of the opening and leaned down to suck a mark onto Jake’s neck.

“Fuck, Bradley, I’m gettin’ real desperate down here,” was all Jake could force out while Bradley continued to grind his hips and suck on his neck.

“I know, baby,” Bradley said into Jake’s shoulder. “Soon.”

Bradley worked his way down, pressing kisses along Jake’s torso as he moved. Jake squirmed underneath him, clearing feeling a bit more ticklish after not being touched for two months. When he got all the way to where he wanted to be, Bradley quickly rid Jake of his boxers and moved to kiss the area around his cock, now that it was free. Jake’s cock stood tall, precome pearling at the tip like it most likely had been for several hours at this point. Bradley pointedly ignored it and decided to take Jake’s balls into his mouth instead, one at a time, while a free hand grasped at Jake’s chest.

“Bradley, fuck, please, come on,” Jake begged from his spot on the pillows. “Please.”

“You’re so good for me baby, you’re so patient,” Bradley said.

Finally, Bradley got his mouth where Jake wanted it. Jake let out a long, loud groan, and Bradley smiled to himself. He was still in his boxers and t-shirt, his own hips grinding against the bed uncomfortably in the position he was in but he couldn’t help it at this point. Jake was the perfect size in his mouth, not too long, not too thick, but still thick enough that there was a little bit of a stretch on the corners of his mouth. Bradley loved the way Jake tasted, sweat, salt, and something earthy mixed with the cologne he wore that smelled like the ocean.

Jake brought a hand down from where they were still resting above his head to land in Bradley’s hair. Not gripping tightly, just resting, guiding. Bradley slowly began to bob his head, taking a little bit of Jake’s length at a time, with his hand wrapped around what he wasn’t covering with his mouth. Jake was making the most beautiful sounds, almost like he was trying to stay quiet.

Spit was gathering at the sides of Bradley’s mouth, his jaw was getting tired, but he wasn’t a quitter, he was going to make Jake come more than once tonight if he had anything to say about it. He sped up, his mouth now able to replace the length his hand had previously covered, and Jake’s breathing began to speed up as well.

“Fuck, Bradley, please don’t stop,” he cried as his grip in Bradley’s hair got a little tighter. Bradley moaned around Jake’s cock in response and he knew how the vibrations felt to Jake. “Bradley, Bradley please, I’m gonna come, please.”

Bradley didn’t slow his movement, just kept his pace and continued to work Jake through it when he finally came down Bradley’s throat. Bradley swallowed every last drop, the taste was like heaven on his tongue after waiting for so long, and kept shallowly moving his head up and down the length while Jake’s breathing slowed.

Jake didn’t say anything, his arms moved back to cover his eyes the way they had when Bradley initially walked into the bedroom.

“I missed you so much, Jake,” Bradley said as he peppered kisses on Jake’s thighs. “Thought about you every night, on and off the ship.” He tapped Jake’s side in a silent ask for him to turn over onto his stomach. Jake complied with a soft groan and lifted himself onto his knees, already anticipating where this was going. “Imagined you on your knees for me in the shower the second I got to my hotel in Tokyo. Had a picture of you spread out underneath me in my big hotel bed while I ate you out and then fucked you into the mattress.”

From his position behind Jake, Bradley could see Jake’s not yet soft cock give a small twitch of interest at that statement.

“You want me to eat you out?” Bradley asked. “Open you up with just my tongue and then fuck you?”

Jake moaned and pushed his hips back. “Please, Bradley, anything, just fuck me already.”

“Tsk, tsk, so needy tonight,” Bradley scolded jokingly.

Bradley sat up on his knees and grabbed a handful of Jake’s ass in each hand. He kneaded the muscle for a few seconds before leaning forward.

He exhaled a soft puff of warm air around the tight ring of muscle and Jake shuddered. Bradley licked a stripe up from the spot behind Jake’s balls to his hole with a flat tongue just before really diving in. He speared his tongue and got to work.

Jake must have opened himself before he picked up Bradley in anticipation of something like this so he was already pleasantly loose and ready.

“Oh fuck Jake, baby, did you open yourself up for me already?” Bradley asked.

“Didn’t want to wait anymore,” Jake breathed. “Wanted to get this show on the road,”

Bradley laughed a bit before dropping a glob of spit onto his fingers in lieu of wanting to grab more lube. He started with just one finger alongside his tongue and Jake cried out as he planted his face into the mattress.

“Bradley, please,” Jake moaned.

“Tell me what you want, baby,” Bradley replied, pulling back. Without waiting for an answer, Bradley added another finger and hooked the two to press into the spot he knew would make Jake shiver. Jake moaned loudly and tried to drive his own hips into the mattress but all he made contact with was empty air. Bradley crooked his fingers once more and got the same result.

All at once, Bradley pulled his fingers from Jake’s hole, earning himself a loud whine from Jake. Before Jake could say anything, Bradley replaced his fingers with his tongue. He knew it wasn’t what Jake wanted, but he had waited months to get his mouth on Jake and he wasn’t about to wait any longer. Soon Jake’s whine was turned to heavy panting and Bradley had saliva running down his chin. His hands grabbed handfuls of Jake’s ass and his back was arched just enough that his cock grazed the bedspread. After a few minutes of licking his way into Jake, Bradley couldn’t wait any longer. Bradley pulled back and flipped Jake onto his back, resulting in another whine from Jake.

“You ready, Jake?” Bradley asked, even though he already knew the answer.

“Yes, God, yes, please Bradley,” Jake breathed. “I missed you so much, I need you in me so bad.”

Bradley reached over to grab a bottle of lube from the nightstand and then situated himself between Jake’s thighs. He leaned down to press a kiss to Jake’s lips. He meant it to be light and quick, but Jake drew him in. The kiss was heated and hungry, Jake bringing his hands up to twist in Bradley’s hair and his legs wrapped around Bradley’s middle to pull him closer. Finally, Bradley was able to pull away, albeit reluctantly, and a string of spit connected their mouths.

“God, I missed you, too,” Bradley whispered with a smile.

Jake grinned right back at him as Bradley leaned back farther. He sat back on his heels and squeezed lube onto his cock. As he lined himself up with Jake’s hole, Jake let out a long, high-pitched moan when Bradley made contact. Bradley sank in slowly, just an inch at a time, keeping his eyes trained on Jake’s face to make sure he was comfortable.

“Hurry the fuck up, Bradley,” Jake said through gritted teeth.

That answered that question, and Bradley pushed in farther. Jake was so, so tight and he felt so, so hot around Bradley. The time they spent away from each other always made the first time back feel that much better, no matter how many times they did it. Bradley relished in the feeling of Jake around him and sank in the rest of the way slowly.

“You’re so tight, baby,” Bradley told him. “You feel so fucking good.” He started to pull out slowly. “Missed this so much.” He punctuated the last word with a quick push back into Jake.

Jake gasped as Bradley began to work himself in and out at a steady pace. His hands were searching for something to hang onto, alternating between the pillow behind his head and the sheets underneath his body, but Bradley could tell neither did the trick. Bradley gave Jake a light tap on his hip to get his attention and then held out his hand for Jake. Bradley spread Jake’s legs a little farther apart so he could lean forward to hold Jake’s hands above his head. From this position, Bradley could easily lean down to give Jake small kisses along his neck.

They stayed like that for a while, Bradley steadily thrusting himself in and out of Jake while kissing up and down Jake’s neck, with the occasional peck on the lips, and Jake hanging on for dear life, searching for the one thing he wanted most. The only sound in the room was their heavy breathing supplemented by the slap of skin on skin.

“Bradley, please,” Jake started after a bit.

“Please what, baby?” Bradley asked him.

“More,” was all Jake said.

Bradley got the message and sped up slightly. He took both of Jake’s hands into one of his own and brought the other down to grab Jake’s ignored cock from where it lay between their bodies. As soon as he did, Jake cried out with each thrust from Bradley. Bradley fisted Jake’s cock in time with the snap of his hips, the slide made easier by the stream of precome coming from Jake. He knew Jake was close, and Bradley was too, but he didn’t care about his own pleasure until Jake got his.

Not too long after, Bradley could feel Jake tightening even more around him and trying to tell Bradley what was coming but not able to get out more than a few nearly silent whimpers. Bradley kept going with his pace and a few short second later, Jake was clenching down around Bradley and throwing his head back in pleasure. Thick white ropes of come painted Jake’s chest and Bradley’s fingers.

Bradley tried his best to work Jake through it, and did almost till the end, but the tight heat of Jake’s hole became too much. Before he knew it, his hips were snapping erratically and he finally gave one last weak thrust and his hips stalled, his own orgasm hitting him hard. Bradley saw white around the edges of his vision and fought to keep himself upright as he reached the end. After a bit, he finally slowly pulled out of Jake and watched a bead of come follow his cock out of Jake’s hole. He scooped it up with two fingers and gently pushed it back in. Jake groaned at the sensation but didn’t protest.

Beneath him, Jake was quietly whimpering and trying to slow his breathing. Bradley carefully collapsed onto the bed next to Jake. He ran a few fingers through the come on Jake’s chest and brought his hand to his mouth to lick it clean.

“That was nice, Jake,” he said.

Jake huffed a small laugh. “Nice?” he said incredulously. “You fuck me within an inch of my life and all you have to say is ‘nice?’”

Bradley laughed and pulled Jake’s face to his own to press a gentle kiss to his lips. It was slow and soft, different from how the rest of the night had gone. Jake moaned a little when he could taste himself on Bradley’s tongue still, and Bradley deepened the kiss just slightly.

When Jake finally pulled back to suck in a breath, his eyes were half-closed. “‘M sleepy, B,” he said quietly.

“I know, baby,” Bradley said. He started to move to head to the bathroom but was met with a hand on his chest, holding him down. “I’m grabbing a washcloth to clean you up, honey. So you can sleep without having to get up.”

Seeming satisfied with this answer, Jake moved his hand and allowed Bradley to complete his task. Bradley walked quickly over to the bathroom, ran a washcloth under warm water, and hurried back. When he saw Jake, he was sprawled out the same way he’d been twice earlier that night, star-fished and with an arm thrown over his face.

Bradley walked over and gave Jake a few gentle taps to get him to roll over. Once he did, Bradley quickly cleaned him up as much as he could, but he knew Jake would complain about the come in the morning.

After tossing the washcloth in the direction of the dirty clothes basket, Bradley climbed back into bed and pulled the mostly clean comforter over the top of the both of them.

“Missed you so much, Bradley,” Jake said quietly. “Don’t want you to leave anymore.”

Bradley’s heart tightened. He hated leaving Jake, but he loved his job. It was hard being away from Jake, but the homecomings were always so great. He figured he would just talk to Ice about getting shorter trips or making sure Jake could come along. It wasn’t always Bradley leaving either, Jake would often get sent on the same type of deployments. The distance was tough and the homecomings were just as good, but the time apart wasn’t any easier. Plus, if they got to travel together more, they could fuck and fuck around in more places.

“I won’t have to leave you again for a while, baby,” Bradley told him. “And I’m here now.” He wrapped an arm around Jake and Jake settled into Bradley’s side. I love him, Bradley thought suddenly, though not for the first time.

“You’re here now,” Jake repeated into Bradley’s chest. He pressed a small kiss there and not long after, he was sound asleep.

I love him, Bradley thought again and again until the exhaustion from his trip and the rest of the evening caught up with him and he fell asleep, too.

[spicywhenspeaking]

If I'm There: Chapter Seventeen

read from part one here!

summary: Noah and Natalie met in high school and developed a relationship through their love of music and art. Falling in love, innocent and young, they think nothing can keep them apart. However, sometimes in the pursuit of your dreams the things we love the most get left behind.

warnings: mentions of alcoholism

this is a complete work of fiction, these characters while based on real people are totally made up. :)

edited by me hungover this morning....soooo if you see something spelt wrong no you didn't.

taglist : @lma1986 @cookiesupplier @notingridslurkaccount @blackveilomens @thisbicc @thebadchic @laurpartyprogram @jessitpwk @samanthasgone

Roughly 10 years later, June 5th, 2023

Beep

Beep 

Beep

The constant beeping of my alarm begins waking me up and as I roll over to hit the snooze button when I suddenly hear the pattering of footsteps and then a small “oof” of a body launching themselves in the air and landing directly on me.

“Ouch!” I call out and the mass now on top of me dissolves into a fit of giggles. 

“Mom!!! wake up!!! Ashley’s mom will be here soon!” Erin is full of energy today. Her friend Ashley’s mom is taking her and some of her friends to Six Flags for the day to celebrate the end of the school year. I roll my comforter up to cover Erin up in a burrito of blankets and she starts to laugh even harder. “Mom! Let me out!” Erin’s voice squeaks out between laughs. 

“Okay, okay. Be free little one,” I tell her while unwrapping the blankets covering her. I see her face poke out the top and lean down to cover it in kisses. “Oh, I love you so much!! My little baby!! I can’t believe you just finished third grade! Stop growing please !” She laughs and wiggles out of the bed. “Moooom! Please get up, I need to eat breakfast.”

We travel downstairs into the kitchen together and I turn on the coffee maker while gathering the supplies needed to make breakfast. I start making pancakes and soon we hear clunking around coming from the other room. “Do I smell pancakes!?” Haylie calls out from behind her door. Erin runs to the other side “Auntie Hales come to eat breakfast with me!” she calls out and the door swings open surprising Erin. She jumps slightly but recovers as soon as Hailey picks her up and swings her around the hallway toward the kitchen where I’m flipping the last pancake onto the large serving plate. “Pancakes and bacon! I hope you’re hungry,” I call out and pour two cups of coffee and a glass of orange juice for Erin. “I’m starving! Thanks, Mom” Erin says. “Yeah, thanks, Mom!” Haylie jokes. 

We didn’t mean to stay at Haylie’s this long but every time I considered moving Haylie wouldn’t hear it. She loves having us here and we love being here and after a while, we really felt like a little family. Speaking of families, my brother is coming to visit soon. Kyle and Maggie are both coming. Together. 

After I left they became closer and eventually fell in love. I didn’t know how long it would last but after Kyle enlisted in the Marine Corps they got even closer. When he was stationed in Okinawa in a surprise to us all they secretly eloped so they could live off base together. They are still together now and happier than ever. They have a five-year-old girl, Natasha, who Erin loves so much. The girls are so sweet and we love any chance we can get them together. They’re coming to visit next week for a week and I’m really excited. 

A lot has changed in the last ten years. Kyle and I have grown to be incredibly close. I think us both becoming parents changed a lot. Unfortunately, our Mom never recovered from her alcoholism and passed a few years after Erin was born. She met Erin a few times but I was very protective, especially in those first few years of her life and I didn’t want her seeing my mom when she was at her worst. Our Dad lives in Austin now, he wanted to be close to me and his grandchild after our Mom died, and at first I was really hesitant, but over the years a lot has changed. Our relationship is pretty good now and Erin loves her grandpa so much, he likes taking her to the library and the park on the weekends, or to get ice cream after school.  

We finish up our breakfast and help Erin get ready for her day trip with her friends. We pack her a small bag since they’ll be having a sleepover after their day at the amusement park. Erin is running around her room trying to decide which stuffed animal she wants to take, she’s deep in thought trying to choose between her stuffed giraffe and her frog build-a-bear we made a few years ago for her birthday. “Froggy! I choose you!” she declares and for a moment everything about her is Noah.

Noah. I never heard from him after I sent the letter. I thought about reaching out again but between life with a newborn and working on finishing my apprenticeship time just slipped away from me. Then she was getting bigger and I was getting settled into my new career as a tattoo artist and when I saw that he was in a new band that was really picking up, that same insecurity that Alex planted all those years ago came right back. her words echoing, “You’ll ruin his life you know? His whole career. He will throw it all away for you. Is that what you want?” I stopped trying, I stopped waiting and I have tried every day of Erin’s life to be everything she needs. When I listened to that first album I was amazed. By his talent, what he was creating for himself was exactly what he wanted. I cried so hard listening to it, I threw the CD in the box that was hiding in the back of my closet.

Ashley’s Mom picked up Erin about an hour later. “Have fun and be careful okay? Listen to Ashley’s Mom and I will call you before you go to bed tonight, she has my number if you need to call me at all okay?” I ask and my sassy daughter in her rush to leave is nodding and just saying “Yes, okay Mom, I will, Okay..Mom she’s here!! Can I go please??” she pleads and I laugh and give her a big hug, and kiss before walking her to the car outside.

Later when I’m getting ready for work I decide on a simple white tank with my faded loose-fit jeans that are covered in holes, but the most comfortable pair of pants I own. I throw on some light makeup and put my hair up in a loose bun. “Wow! How can you make a plain white tank look so hot?!” Haylie loves to hype me up so I give her a little spin and mock bow. “Thank you!” I say as I finish packing my bag and filling up my water bottle. I’m trying to only work a half day so I can do some emotional spending, if I can finish my appointments before getting any walk-ins, Target is all mine.

Waving goodbye I head out the door and hop into my car to head to work. I bought a new car when Erin was five and I love it so much, it’s perfect for us. A little Honda CRV in black. My books have been filling up lately and I was able to pay off the car early last spring which was an amazing feeling. I take off down the street and it’s a short drive to the shop only ten minutes, I turn on the radio and my usual station is playing. “Up next we have a song that’s picking up some traction on TikTok and normally we don’t care about that. But, this is a band I like so to celebrate their upcoming show in Austin, up next we have Bad Omens with Just Pretend” the DJ says and I audibly groan and hit the power button on the radio and just commit to the silent drive into work. It hasn’t been impossible to avoid his band but I try, everyone laughs at work when they come on a playlist. They all anticipate me calling out “Hey Siri” or “Okay Google,” “Alexa” followed by “Skip!” I think they all just assume I don’t like the band and I’m happy not to elaborate. 

I get to work and head to my station to get set up for my first appointment. It’s a repeat client and we are finishing up her sleeve tattoo with filler and some color. It doesn’t take very long and before I know It I’ve finished two more clients and it’s almost 2 pm. 

I continue to clean my station since my client left a half hour ago. My plans to cut out early and go shopping came to a  crashing halt when I heard the jingle of the door opening and four guys walked in, two of whom I hadn’t seen in about a decade. I knew they were in town but I mean, Austin is a huge city. They could have walked into any tattoo shop. But no, the man I’ve been avoiding, actively avoiding since he left me, alone, unknowingly pregnant and devastated is right there. Right in front of me, it’s like every feeling I worked through in therapy is rushed back to the surface.

He hasn’t seen me, too busy talking to Ryan at reception and I overhear “Yeah, I think Nat is available. She doesn’t have anyone on her books for the rest of the day” he says, looking down to check my logbook. “Hey Nat!” He calls to me and the four eyes follow, two in particular getting hit with immediate recognition. “Do you have time to fit these guys in? They say they’re just looking for some small line work?” I see his whole frame tense and his mouth opens slightly, almost in awe, "Natty?" we whispers.

I’m frozen, I’m speechless and our eyes are locked. I’m staring into the eyes of the man that I used to love, that’s the father of my child he doesn’t know. I have to speak. I have to say something. NATALIE! SPEAK ! SAY SOMETHING!  I scream to myself internally before I finally breathe out and manage to speak. I try to keep a calm face as I respond “Um, yeah sure. Just get them to fill out the paperwork and send them back.” I duck back down into my little station and try to calm my breathing. I look around and there are pictures of Erin everywhere, I move to quickly remove all of them from my workstation and pick up my phone to call Haylie

“911, this is an actual emergency and I’m freaking out!” I rush out in a harsh whisper “Noah is here. At the shop. With his band. And they want tattoos! WHAT THE FUCK!”

thank you loves! <3

dividers from here!

Next chapter ->

[danganphobia]

!! congrats on finishing high society, loved it a lot . what a ride,,,

. might be silly question but i wanted to know if izutsumi existed in the au...

thank you!!

it's not a silly question - she does, but i was not able to fit her in the narrative of the main story. at the moment she's an estranged sibling still living in okinawa with maizuru and toshitsugu and goes to school (high school, she's the youngest, the others are adults, have more freedom to move places and do other things with their lives and she wasn't interested in going with them. she's emo.) so she isn't really as present in toshiro and the others lives. their dad's a fuckhead and is absent in izutsumi's life and she only has maizuru. i should mention there's no power imbalance and toshiro sees them all like family/close friends who have lived with him most of his life. toshitsugu doesn't care for them, only his sons, because he's a dick.

maizuru's been looking after her, but she admits that it's not easy and her own relationship with izutsumi is stiff. i like to believe that toshiro, hien, beni, and tade develop a penpal relationship with izutsumi!!! she's kinda rowdy and isn't having the best time and no one does in high school. it's a very weird time in everyone's life lmao. im thinking as i write more for the series hien beni tade and toshiro want to check up on how she's doing. izutsumi is stubborn and pretends she doesn't care but she does and misses them every now and then. maybe... they end up surprising her and maizuru in okinawa and are like "You Are Coming With Us to Kyoto Whether You Like It or Not" and she's very emotional(tm) about it but she goes with them.

they very much consider izutsumi as their little sister even if things are very hard for her right now. in the story's canon their shit dad kinda ruined things and he still has control. doesn't like the fact that toshiro ran off and abandoned the business and his friends followed him. izutsumi dealing with being the only sibling left with maizuru. but they tell her it's okay to want things for herself and live whatever life she wants (and fuck toshitsugu).

SORRY FOR THE BLOCK OF TEXT... i actually ADORE izutsumi a lot and maybe if anyone wants, i'd write a lil something depicting her relationship with toshiro and the girlies :)

[todayisafridaynight]

hey, i hope life's treating ya well this week! i finished y6 yesterday and came to share some thoughts if you don't mind :)

i think kiryu tried to project on his kids what he wanted kazama to be like as a father, but ultimately kazama'ed all of them, especially daigo. i found the ending of y6 very touching, but that's because i like daigo in all of his bland npc glory, and i agree with a lot of criticism of that ending being somewhat weird, especially when we had so little interaction with haruka, who just. you know. woke up from a coma. i wrote this already in my blog, but i'll repeat myself: that ending would've made much more sense if we had just more of daigo in general amd/or saw his transition from his y2 version to his version later in the series. like, we know haruka and kiryu are close, and we assume daigo and kiryu are close too, but i'd love to see more evidence of it in the actual text. that one substory in y0 clearly wasn't enough. i wish we could have more of haruka, MUCH more of haruka, too. the lack of her agency in y6 after y5 felt frustrating

i did enjoy the game, though. i really liked the callbacks to the previous games. as for side activities, it never seizes to amaze me how the eroge minigames are become just more and more unhinged. but all the missed storytelling opportunities, man

(it's also v funny that daigo's sr card code in clan creator is kiryusavemepleaz. i don't speak japanese and therefore haven't played rggo, but i know about a story where majima lets daigo win him on purpose or something? also the situations daigo's often put in (which are mostly near death experiences), him never getting any kind of resolve with ryuji as well... i think yokoyama kinda hates daigo lmao)

Heya! I sure love thoughts and I sure love talking about Daigo :]

On the note about 'Kazama'ing his kids, I'm going to be ugly and take a minute to interpret what that means if you don't mind.

When it comes to what Kazama did to his kids, he allowed Nishiki and Kiryu to join the yakuza despite knowing the dangers of it at their insistence. Ergo, we see Kazama prioritize the yakuza, telling Kiryu to leave the Dojima situation in Y1 alone. Moreover, despite Kazama lacking faith in Nishiki's abilities as a yakuza, he still expected him to be able to lead a family by himself while he took care of Yumi in hiding.

As for Kiryu and his kids, it was evident Kiryu wanted to be able to parent the kids at Morning Glory- to speculate, maybe as a way to atone of Kazama's messy paretning without outright admitting Kazama had faults. However, his bond with those in the yakuza inevitably kept him coming back, especially in regards to Daigo (who, of course, we find out he sees as a son. In this, it's a case of Kiryu still wanting to be a good parent, but the priorities aren't exactly there). In this (and I've discussed this in a post prior), Kiryu's attempting to spread himself thin when it comes to his family: he wants to help the Tojo, if not predominantly due to Daigo's presence there, but he also wants to father the orphans at Morning Glory. Unfortunately, since Kiryu can justify leaving the kids as Okinawa's a safer setting and he's admittedly at his best in a fight, he ends up leaving for Tokyo every time action's needed.

It's actually Kiryu's constant leaving that had me assume he was writing his letter to Haruka at first during Y6's ending, specifically when he was talking about how he lamented not spending more time with her. On the subject of Haruka, Y6 really did her disgustingly: as soon as she was of age, she becomes a mother and, on top of that, she gets hit by a car and is in a coma the majority of the game and doesn't even get to properly spend time with Kiryu before he vanishes. I genuinely wish and- foolishly- hope one day Haruka can actually get the respect she deserves after having been such an important, prominent, and interesting character throughout this franchise.

To talk about Daigo and Kiryu, the main subject of this ask I feel, I think RGG did as much as they could when it came to demonstrating Kiryu and Daigo's relationship. In Y5, it's revealed that Kiryu believes that people who become close to him suffer (and in this scene in particular, he's referring to Daigo after he gets shot on the roof)- how long he's had this mentality I couldn't definitively tell you, but I wouldn't be surprised if this has been a thought since everyone's deaths in Y1. Because of Kiryu's fear for others' well-being, it can be reasoned that Kiryu might have wanted to keep his distance from Daigo as much as he could lest something go wrong (but of course, he also feels responsible for protecting others, leading him to take action where he should probably leave things be). In Y4, we can see the buds of Kiryu regretting not being there for Daigo when he needed him most, outright apologizing to him for putting him in the position of chairman without any proper training or time. Considering all of this, Kiryu's letter to Daigo aligns with what we've seen: even if Kiryu wasn't able to be close to Daigo and properly guide him like he should have, he still confesses that Daigo was incredibly important to him and he regrets letting that fear stop their bond from deepening.

Daigo on the flip side, we become very aware that he values Kiryu immensely. To return to Y5, at the end of his taxi ride he tries to reassure Kiryu that he's able to carry himself without his help (i.e. 'I'm trying my best to walk this path' after Kiryu kicks him out of the car). Daigo's need for Kiryu's approval is also evident in RGGO: the story with Majima you're talking about is one of his character stories where he first becomes chairman. In this story, Daigo struggles to understand what Kiryu's intention was entrusting him to the Tojo Clan, but once he realizes it, this is his turning point to stop being the brute he was in Y2. To extend on RGGO shining light on Daigo's feelings for Kiryu, during his initial meeting with Mine in Mine's story, he lets Mine know he was so ardent in watching the Tojo at first so he could make 'the man' who put him in that position proud, and later during their bar conversation in another one of Mine's stories, he lets Mine know that while he doesn't consider Kiryu family at this point, he still considers him someone incredibly close to him (and as we see in Y6, Daigo will do a hard 180 on this and proudly call Kiryu his father). To jump back to Kiryu for a second, we can argue that Mine's whole 'what could Daigo see in a man like you' line could have contributed to Kiryu's want to distance himself from Daigo. Because what if Mine had a point: what WAS there to admire in Kiryu? What could Daigo POSSIBLY like about Kiryu, and would it not just be better if he wasn't in his life after- inadvertently- getting him put in a coma? To end this segment on a goofy note, Daigo's clan code being 'kiryuhelpmeplz' is super funny with the father/son lens: Daigo's gotta call his dad to help him out </3

EDIT: In regards to the RGGO story I mentioned here, I misremembered the exact quote and that drastically changes the scene and meaning I'm referencing, and significantly portrays the relationship between Daigo and Kiryu differently from what I've said. For the correct quote and sentiment, please refer to this ask here (x)

In all of this, it's reasonable that RGG couldn't expand on Kiryu and Daigo's relationship, but that's what makes Kiryu's letter so significant. We see from Kiryu and Daigo's sides individually that they saw each other as family, but neither of them were able to confront that fact directly for one reason or another (Kiryu, again, with is fear of hurting those he loves and his general inability to express his emotions perfectly. Daigo might have thought seeing Kiryu as his dad was inappropriate, especially after having had to believe he killed his actual dad). Kiryu lamenting the bond they could have had wouldn't have had the same merit if Kiryu and Daigo were actually able to bond more, but because they didn't and we see they still cherish each other, the impact's there.

My long ugly ramble aside, I'm glad you still enjoyed the game! I don't know if you have any more of the games left to play, but if you ever get around to them I hope you enjoy them!

[lgbtqmanga]

New Releases Aug. 22, 2023

After We Gazed at the Starry Sky by Bisco Kida

It all started with a job. When wheelchair-bound Subaru Miyazawa decides to visit the planetarium after finishing its brochure design, he unexpectedly bumps into Togo Awase, the photographer involved in the project. Although he'd admired his work, he never thought he'd see the man himself—or that Togo would go so far as to carry Subaru down the steps to view the starry night sky up close. Subaru could only hope they would meet again...

Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?! vol. 8 by Yuu Toyota

Four months into his transfer, Adachi is surprised to find that he and Kurosawa aren’t that far apart after all! Kurosawa travels to Nagasaki whenever he can, and the pair spend weekends together on the regular!

It’s almost as if they’re settling into life...like a married couple?! So when the two decide to get engaged, it seems like the most natural move of all!

But while Adachi and Kurosawa have overcome some huge obstacles to their love, the next challenge awaiting them might be the toughest yet: breaking the news of their engagement to their parents...

I Don't Know Which is Love vol. 1 by Oku Tamamushi

With high school graduation approaching, Mei Soraike tries to confess her love to her best friend for whom she had long harbored a secret crush…only for her hopes to be crushed. But a little heartbreak is fine—because she’ll absolutely, definitely, without a doubt get a girlfriend in college! And no sooner does Mei set her resolve than potential prospects start sidling up to her one by one…?!

Land of the Lustrous vol. 12 by Haruko Ichikawa

Phosphophyllite is on the war path, determined to make Kongō pray at all costs. The other gems attempt to protect their precious Sensei, but can they stop the vicious onslaught? Meanwhile, on the moon, Cairngorm demands an explanation from Aechmea…

The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady (novel) vol. 5 by Piero Karasu and Yuri Kisaragi

There’s one thing Anis can't go without if she wants to run a magical academy—magicite. Fortunately, an untamed region to the east is teeming with this vital resource, so she and Euphie decide to journey there on airbikes to stock up. Wait, doesn’t this sound like a honeymoon?!

Otherside Picnic (manga) vol. 6 by Iori Miyazawa, Eita Mizuno and Shirakaba

With the American marines who were stranded in the Otherside at Kisaragi Station safely rescued, Sorawo and Toriko turn their focus to enjoying the summer together at an island resort on Okinawa. The sight of Toriko in a bikini has Sorawo sweating for reasons besides the hot temperatures!

But fun in the sun turns deadly and dangerous when they stumble into the resort’s portal to the Otherside...

Puella Magi Madoka Magica: The Movie -Rebellion- The Complete Manga Omnibus by Magica Quartet and Hanokage

With Madoka Kaname's sacrifice, the hopeless cycle that once bound every magical girl to a terrible fate was broken at last. Or was it...? All does not seem right with the world, and as Homura pulls at the loose threads of the girls' new reality, is it possible that an even darker destiny looms ahead? Revisit the complete manga adaptation of Puella Magi Madoka Magica: The Movie -Rebellion- in this deluxe omnibus edition!

The Ruthless Commander and his Reincarnated Warhorse by Sakashima and Nomoto Narita

A thirty-year-old Japanese male is teleported to Japan's warring-era. But instead of being reincarnated as a samurai or ninja, he is now a pony! Cute and spry, he is enjoying his carefree new life but all that changes when he runs into a human who is fighting off a bear attack! The pony dashes and rescues the man, and thus begins his new life...as a warhorse!

Sasaki and Miyano Second-Years (novel) vol. 2 by Shou Harusono and Kotoko Hachijo

Time for another peek into the details of Sasaki and Miyano’s lives as second-year students! Miyano's class is getting ready to go on a big field trip. Plus, there's plenty of excitement with Sasaki as White Day approaches. What other precious moments await these two?

Thousand Autumns: Qian Qiu (novel) vol. 2 by Meng Xi Shi and Me.Mimo

Shen Qiao is a devout Daoist priest who has spent his life honing his skills and spirit, leading his sect with martial talent, beauty beyond measure, and an earnest heart. His polar opposite, Yan Wushi, leads one of the most powerful demonic sects and is said to be unrivaled in his strength and cunning. Yan Wushi believes in the inherently selfish nature of all people—himself included—and that nobody is above committing dark deeds for their own benefit.

When a fight leaves Shen Qiao injured, blind, and with hazy memories, Yan Wushi takes in the defeated sect leader with a dark plan: test the limits of the man’s patience and faith in others to lure him onto the demonic path. Little does he know that he is about to meet the first immovable force of his life, and that two hearts can connect in unexpected ways. With the passing of a thousand autumns, who can stay eternal?

[diamondtaem6v6]

✨ 190327 - Taemin’s interview for his photo collection 「PORTRAIT」

In November 2018, Taemin had landed on the mainland of Okinawa, which was blessed with a good weather. During the first national solo tour TAEMIN Japan 1st TOUR ~SIRIUS~ which gathered approximately 100,000 people, he got out of his everyday life for a while, about 2 days in Okinawa for a shooting. 10 years after his debut, what kind of “portrait” the 25-years-old artist who gets busy with activities as SHINee (member) and solo Taemin would like to leave? We talked to Taemin, who came back to Tokyo after finishing his performance ��SMTOWN SPECIAL STAGE in SANTIAGO’ held in Chile, South America.

- You’re spending intense days, aren’t you? I heard that you just returned from Chile today.

Taemin: That’s right. The travel time is long, also waited for about 8 hours for a stopover in Los Angeles... And since there was 12 hour time difference, I'm a little sleepy now. (laughs)

- For today's interview for the photo book, do you remember something about the shooting time?

Taemin: (*Looking at the photos*) This shooting is... (I guess it's) from half a year ago.

- It's from only 2 months ago.

Taemin: What? Only two months have passed. I'm surprised. Is it jet lag? (laughs) I feel nostalgic, Okinawa.

- Then let's hear the story while remembering (laughs). First of all, tell us why you chose the offshore location.

Taemin: I didn't know much about Okinawa, I had this image of "a place where your mind can relax". So when the staff told about the location, I decided that I absolutely wanted to go to Okinawa. If you actually go, it's the best comfort beyond imagination. The sunshine unique to Okinawa remains in the impression.

- How many times have you been to Okinawa?

Taemin: This is my 2nd time. It's been since the MV shooting of SHINee's 8th single "Boys Meet U" (2013). The air I felt at the time of shooting was left in the impression, the feeling of being a nice place, I thought that maybe I could express my present form more straightly. Actually I was able to shoot with a very good tension (relaxed).

- I heard that there was 1 day off before shooting.

Taemin: That's right. During the tour "SIRIUS", I flew to Okinawa right after the performance... The next day I slept until noon, I did scuba diving, I went to Churaumi Aquarium despite being last minute before it was closed. I also ate Agu Pork steak at night. The Agu Pork was really delicious so I also ate an Agu Pork shabu-shabu* for a night meal in the location (laughs).

* Shabu-shabu is a Japanese hot pot dish with thin sliced beef or, in this case, pork meat.

– You really enjoyed it (laughs). Did you actually want to dive?

Taemin: I actually don't like to set up plans, I'm not good at it. Even if I make plans, since I often chance my mind during the day, all in the heat of the moment, I'm the type who decides as an improvisation. So I went to Okinawa without making a schedule this time. I got up in the morning, took a quick look at a pamphlet to see what I could do, and (decided that) this was it! And an Agu Pork restaurant, here too! (laughs). The restaurant that I happened to find by chance seemed delicious, so I entered it intuitively. It was all right. Fun and delicious, it was a great day. I did dive in Bali before but the sea in Okinawa was more beautiful.

– The sea of Okinawa seems to be popular among divers in the the world. You like it (the sea), right?

Taemin: Since I go to many places with SHINee or solo, it wasn't a long time since last saw the sea, I could see the sea from the balcony in the hotel room this time and it was really beautiful, I could see the emerald green sea in the morning. I think it's important to take a time to look at such sceneries. Feeling refreshed, I think I can organize my mind and my heart.

- Where was the most memorable place for shooting?

Taemin: The place of the first page of the photo book. Huh, it was a little above a cliff. It looks like l'm going to fall if I slide my leg. And it's impressive because it started from the location on that sea scene. The morning light is beautiful, I think it's a good photo (laughs).

- If there was a Japanese word you didn't know that appeared during the shooting, it was impressive how you would always confirm the meaning and pronunciation with the staff.

Taemin: Really? Actually, even if I hear words that I usually don't know, I spend some time pretending that I know (laughs). Then I try to confirm later by asking "What did you say earlier?" (laughs).

- It's great if you can confirm later. Is that how Taemin improves in Japanese?

Taemin: When I'm in Japan, I'm always being careful when picking all the words (I say) as much as possible. But I think, I'm still 30~40 points on my level (in Japanese). I haven't made any effort at all... (*wry smile*) I don't have enough time to read books and study at the desk. For when the tour is over and I go back to Korea, I made these 3 promises to a Japanese staff: "I'll study Japanese", "I'll have voical trainings", "I'll practice piano". I didn't do anything yet (laughs). I'm sorry. I'm thinking of starting with buying a piano first (laughs).

- A piano that you can carry around?

Taemin: No, it's... I don't have to practice to the point of carrying it around, right? (*Looks scarily at the staff*) That's a little too hard... (laughs).

- In this photo book, you have been dressed in many outfits in each scene, do you have a particular interest in clothes?

Taemin: My knowledge about fashion is poor and l'm not confident, so at each place, after understanding what was required, I would convey my opinion firmly to the stylist. (I would) Take a look at places and clothes and from this, create a view of the world inside my mind and changing the clothes. This time too, as I often changed clothes after arriving at each shooting location, (I would) look at the place first and decide the outfit after thinking about the colors and atmosphere that fit there. Also, not increasing the number of similar costumes in the whole book, even in performances, even on TV, I think that I always stick with it. (*Turning over the pages of the photo book*) Wow, maybe l'm a genius. It went quite well. There are many outfits (laughs).

- How does it feel like to see your own photos like this?

Taemin: To be honest, it's still embarrassing. It's also different from looking at a mirror at home or in the hotel.

– Over 10 years have passed after your debut. You've done countless shots already, right?

Taemin: When shooting, I don't think of anything because I'm concentrated and working hard, if you look at it when it becomes raw, I think it's cool (laughs). That is expression and it's my job.

– Comparing to the photos of when you were a teenager, how do you see yourself now? (Do you think) Maybe your face has changed, or something like that?

Taemin: Something like this, l'm worried that the wrinkles in my eyes have increased. The resilience (of my skin) seems to have disappeared (laughs). Maybe I ate a little too much delicious foods while on tour. My face is slightly round in this photo collection. It's reflection.

– What is your first memory from birth?

Taemin: Everyone may think that this is absolutely a lie but I have a memory of when I was 1 year old. My parents moved home when I was 1 year old, (I have) the memory of the house before moving. There was a slide there, I still have this image, probably seen while being held by my mother.

– What kind of child were you?

Taemin: I was a child who never cried at all. And (I was) shy and introverted, I liked to always hide behind my mother, I felt safe there.

– When going out, you liked to grab on her skirt to walk?

Taemin: That's right, exactly. I really didn't like to have other people seeing me.

– Why is that?

Taemin: (laughs) Maybe it was a bit of pride, I was pretty cute when I was a kid (laughs). I was a child that was getting bored to people around me looking at me and saying "Oh, what a cute boy" (laughs). I think it would have been nice to remain at that time.

– (laughs) As an introverted, you were indoors? Like playing in your room?

Taemin: When I became an elementary school student, I started to go out to the park to play but rather than meeting up with my friends, I was asked by the children in the place (to play with them). Hide and seek, soccer... I liked moving my body and by going to the park I was able to join nature and the children who were there. It may have changed socially little by little.

– What are the memories that you have of your parents?

Taemin: (*Thinking for a while*) I think it was a very ordinary family. No episodes come out at all.

– Isn't there a memory of anger?

Taemin: Usual things, like having a fight with my brother, lying, in moments like these there was a moment of anger, but... I was the type to run away when someone was angry, my brother was the type to apologize. That's it. But I think no matter what I've done, I grew up really loved.

- With no big incidents, everyone is loved.

Taemin: Ah, there is this case that my mother still talks about. It was about when I was in kindergarten. Because I was introverted, I didn't like kindergarten very much. One day, as usual, I left the house saying "I'm going~", but instead I went to a nearby park alone without going to the kindergarten. When I was hungry, I ate the lunch and played a little until I thought it was almost time for kindergarten to be over and I went home. Since I didn't go to the kindergarten, they contacted (my parents) and asked: "Is Taemin absent?". I suppose I left everyone worried because I became a kindergarten child missing. But came back home with the feeling that it was noon already but apparently it hasn't been an hour since I left home (laughs). But because of that, I was able to quit kindergarten (laughs).

– You have very understanding parents.

Taemin: Even from such a small age, (they) already had that much respect for me. My mother is a very emotional person, I remember that I was treated with much love.

- Are you good friends with your father?

Taemin: We are good friends. We don't talk so much but I understand that he is always cheering (on me). I'm grateful. But after my 20 years old, I barely have time to be with my parents.

– Being part of such a normal family, how did you get into singing and dancing?

Taemin: When I was around 8 years old. I watched Michael Jackson's performance on internet, that was the first shock I received. Maybe it was too early... Precocious. Then I would hide in the house, watch it repeatedly and try to imitate the dance. I did my best and danced. Then, some people around me recommended me: "If you like dancing so much, there is an audition for SM ENTERTAINMENT". So I was able to get into SM. It's hard and fun to practice with friends who have the same dream, it was a good experience.

– When you started to dance, did you approach the artists you dreamed of when you were 8 years old?

Taemin: Not yet, but I think I could get close to it. I was actually a great fan of Michael Jackson at that time, I dreamed of (being) a solo singer. Even when I was an SM trainee I worked hard aiming to become a solo artist. The chance came up quickly, I made my debut with SHINee and furthermore, I also had the opportunity of solo debut earlier than I thought, I think I'm happy.

– While working with SHINee, did you have any aspirations as the solo artist Taemin?

Taemin: Yes I had. The images of my childhood are very strong and remain in my head but now I can do both SHINee's activities and solo activities, very rewarding, I think I have a good balance in myself. More than trying the solo more strongly, I understand the greatness of a stage that shows teamwork in a group. After all, the fact that the other members always come together may make me feel stronger. I think that previously I was greedy or still too young. During SHINee's activities, there were moments when I was quite individual. Prioritizing myself when I should work for SHINee. It might have been annoying to the members too.

– How did you feel when you were on a solo performance?

Taemin: Of course there was pressure to go up to the stage on my own, it would be always like this but, of course, I could feel the team work of the members. When I don't know (how to do something), I can leave it for the others (to do it). When I am as a solo singer, I have to communicate with staff and fans a lot. But of course, since I was introverted, I wasn't good at speaking properly. I think now I can do something about it.

– Did you keep in touch with the members while on a solo tour?

Taemin: Yes. Ah, but... The members contacted me first. They would support me by saying things like "congratulations" or "good luck". Of course, because I'm the younger (laughs). Everyone is worried and will take care of me.

– It's your image of "cute maknae" but there is no such thing in fact! What do you think about this?

Taemin: No... I think that is probably my honest appearance. I don't dislike it. Maknae... (laughs). I overdo it and put it cool, I don't do anything to deceive my appearance. If you can see that, you will understand that.

– Then, even for such a young boy like Taemin, there is actually a place for a manly person. What do you do if there is something to appeal?

Taemin: I don't want to do much appealing things... (laughs) I think masculinity is kindness. I want to be kind to everyone and I want to be able to smile.

- When there are painful things or sad things, how do you deal with them?

Taemin: I most often meet and chat with my friends. Drink some alcohol. I talk to my friends about a good subject. But I have to be with someone. If l'm with my friends, I don't worry about my problems at that moment. I can forget it. I try to prevent myself from feeling depressed. Then, if time passes, the troubles will be solved well before they happen.

– When you analyze yourself, what kind of person is Taemin? Optimistic or pessimistic?

Taemin: This question is asked often but it's really difficult to answer no matter when you ask. People, of course myself included, don't always have the same form and mind. Sometimes l'm noisy and sometimes l'm quiet, sometimes I smile or have a sad and painful face. Same as everyone, I'm a man who has all kinds of emotions. It's difficult to express (with words) this kind of personality.

- Do you like yourself?

Taemin: Sometimes I might dislike myself. Same as the previous answer, my mind is always moving like a pendulum. But I think it's not good to dislike yourself, so I try to imagine that I like myself. If you dislike yourself, you will lose your confidence, this is the worst. If I lose my confidence, I will have a negative impact on my surroundings. Members, staff and my family. And even all the fans. No one wants to see a performance without confidence, so I try to control myself in order to get better quickly.

– This is great. It seemed like the strength was visible beyond the amazing smile of Taemin. Is that what you have been trying since then?

Taemin: I feel that I didn't have such capacity or strength in the past. Maybe it could be the place where I grew up most since I had my debut. It's all about experience. I think you shouln't waste a failed experience as you head in a better direction. I would work while I was nervous, but now I have come to think that it may be possible to work while enjoying more. Failures, bad things, I will try to experience anything. (laughs) I think that's important.

– Now, it's said that it's a time for a big change, how do you see yourself many years ahead from now?

Taemin: How is it... I have 2 images. In one I'm married and in the other one l'm alone without getting married.

– These 2?! I guess usually there's only one of them. How old is this Taemin?

Taemin: Around 50 years old (laughs).

- Would you like to get married?

Taemin: I don't think about this at all for now. There is a mountain of things for me to do now. I'm 25 years old. To be honest, I feel that marriage doesn't suit me. Will I be able to live the same life forever? I'm sure I will seek for change. Changes, freedom.

- What is the image of Taemin's future as an artist?

Taemin: I think I will be able to dance the same way up to the age of 35... But after that, I don't know. It will be difficult to dance just as it is now. I think I'll grow and prepare for that time. However, it's important to think about the future, but I cherish the things one by one in front of me now.

– Can the fans expect more from this Taemin coming?

Taemin: (*Grinning*) Yes. I think maybe it's good. I always think about showing a new side of myself, the staff around me also cooperates on it, so I think that it will surely be delighted by all the fans. If they can't... well, it's inevitable. (laughs)

– (laughs) But are you confident?

Taemin: Yes, l'm confident!

– Well then l'll wait to see the "new Taemin" next time.

Taemin: Thank you very much. Please come and see the "new Taemin" by all means!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Credits: Taemin’s 「PORTRAIT」 photobook

JPN - ENG translation: @DiamondTaem

[tokyotwosome]

 ¡Viva Mexico!

Since becoming parents last year, we had taken a pause on international travel. That is, until this week! We decided to celebrate our 10-year wedding anniversary in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. In our first 10 years, we've spent each anniversary doing some form of travel, most of which I've blogged about:

2015 - Tokyo, Japan (just moved there)

2016 - Tokyo Japan

2017 - Okinawa, Japan

2018 - Paris, France

2019 - United Kingdom (England/Scotland)

2020 - Hoh National Rainforest (WA state)

2021 - Tennessee/N. Carolina/New York City

2022 - Oahu, Hawaii

2023 - Local dinner (because new baby)

2024 - Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

While our 15-month-old toddler stayed home spending quality time with his auntie and Opa, we were living it up on the beach. Travelling together abroad feels like riding a bike and what better place to restart our travel adventures than Mexico.

We arrived in Puerto Vallarta on our anniversary and opted for a charming penthouse apartment right on the beach. We’ve always enjoyed traveling this way so we can experience the local life as much as possible. The first country outside the US that I ever visited was Mexico when I was 16-years-old, specifically Ensanada, where my love of the culture truly became evident. As someone who identifies as Hispanic/Latina, being in Mexico has a way of making me feel at home. The people, the food, the music…there’s so much to love about it here. We arrived on a stormy afternoon; apparently, it’s monsoon season? Missed that memo, but what can you do? We had dinner reservations at Mar y Vino, an upper scale restaurant where tables sit within a small pool to dip your feet in while you enjoy your decadent dinner. Since the storm came in with vengeance, the rain was coming down in dime-size drops as the cracking of thunder and flashes of lightning engulfed the sky. We took a taxi to the restaurant to avoid the downpour but were disappointed to arrive and learn they closed the pool section of the restaurant due to the encroaching storm. All that to say, we rolled with the punches and made the most out of it. At least the food was delicious, especially Rob's freshly caught red snapper.

We absolutely loved the apartment we stayed in! It was right on the beach and just a short walk away from the Malecón (the boardwalk). The best part was having our own private rooftop, complete with a plunge pool, hammocks, an outdoor bar, and a perfect balcony for people watching. We even had an evening where a pirate ship shot off fireworks not too far away from us, giving us a private rooftop show. We were grateful that we managed to fit in equal parts adventure with relaxation. Just what the doctor ordered!

Walking and exploring is one of our favorite pass times, so the next morning we woke up and ventured out to find a place to eat breakfast. A trick we learned in Japan is, avoid the main streets since they tend to be tourist traps. If you go just one or two streets over, you can often find cheaper and tastier options. We visited a hole-in-the-wall of a restaurant called "Cafe de Olla" (a name referring to Mexican spiced coffee) and it did not disappoint! Not a single person spoke English, that includes the staff and their customers, so we knew it would be delicious. We made it a point to only use Spanish as much as possible, so a place like this was a great place to practice. Rob had huevos con jamón (eggs and ham) served with beans and fresh tortillas. Para mi, I opted for chilaquiles con pollo. It was sooooo good! Just like the name promises, the coffee had a hint of spice (cinnamon) that even Rob enjoyed. We also ordered fresh OJ. The fresh juice is something you never get sick of. It's refreshing, not too sweet, and doesn't get more organic than that. As we ate, we also saw restaurant staff walking around offering fresh pan (bread) to guests. Once we finished and began making our way out, we saw a massive line out the door. This place was popular!

We spent our first full day just walking around, exploring the city, then relaxing on the balcony of our Airbnb. The balcony had a great view of the beach and ocean; perfect for people watching. We had hammocks, lounge chairs, and a plunge pool to cool off. We were grateful that the weather held up for us and that we had some much needed down time. At night, we went to another fancy restaurant complete with our own waiter (just for our table) and our own mixologist. For dessert, they served us Guava cheesecake for our anniversary. Such a treat!

The next morning, we started our day with breakfast and jet skiing right on the beach by where we stayed. The jet ski guys told us to have a seat in two chairs under an umbrella while we waited as it was a particularly hot day. Then they asked us if we needed anything. "Do you need a beer? Drugs? We have marijuana, cocaine, whatever you want." They then proceeded to have their guy show us the drugs. We told him no thanks as we awkwardly waited to get out on the water. It wouldn't be the last time we'd be offered drugs on our trip, haha. Only in Mexico, I suppose *shrug*. After our jet skiing, we went back to the Airbnb to clean up then went for a walk to find lunch. I was craving birria tacos, so we found another hole in the wall spot. The food hit just right and the flavor had me moaning in pleasure. Yes, it was that good! That day we got couples massages at a local spa. The owner asked us "Where you from, Seattle?" How she guessed that is beyond us, given we didn't have anything on our clothing that indicated this. It was an incredible massage and the owner's staff is her family - Metamorfosis Spa if you're ever visiting. Following the massage, on our walk back, I got my hair braided and added some pink flair as we walked around town. For dinner, we decided to eat on the beach at the restaurant below our Airbnb. We ate delicious food as we watched the sun set.

Our final full day we had scheduled an island tour. This was definitely the highlight of our trip, although we hadn't anticipated it to be. The tour included a boat ride to the Marietas islands, snorkeling, a visit to a hidden beach, complete with lunch and all you can drink juice or alcohol on the boat. They even took pictures throughout the day that you could purchase at the end. Totally worth it!

The snorkeling was incredible! We saw countless tropical fish, but even saw a few things we'd never seen before. The tour guide found an octopus in the water, picked it up to show us, then when he released it, it inked in the water. We also saw a puffer fish, which was a bit scary, but still cool to see in the wild. Thankfully it wasn't puffed up, but those fish are fast! We then lined up to get back on the boat as we noticed some folks had baby crabs on their life jackets. Once back on the boat, they took us to the hidden beach which was basically paradise. The water was even more clear, they had a full bar with places to lounge, and gave everyone time to drink, swim, paddleboard, kayak, or just relax. The tour was so worth the cost and 10/10 would recommend.

A personal highlight of the trip for me was feeling validated as a Latina. Not being fluent in Spanish, looking white, I've always felt like I have to prove how Latina I am in the states. While in Mexico, people would only speak English to Rob, but they spoke Spanish to me. I can't describe how happy that made me. That night we found another hole in the wall with abuelas in the kitchen. We knew it would be good based on the massive line we saw out the door (only Latinos) and the food did not disappoint! We ended our last night checking off one thing from my bucket list - singing Spanish karaoke in Mexico. We found a local karaoke bar where I opted to sing Nunca es Suficiente by Los Angeles Azules, along with some Bad Bunny and Selena. I couldn't stop smiling and I think I even impressed Rob, which is not easy to do after 10 years of marriage.

This trip was so needed and such a great way to celebrate our decade of marriage. I am so grateful to our family for allowing us time to do this and taking care of baby boy while we were away. Mommy and daddy desperately needed this and we had the absolute best time. Here's to many decades to come!

[wipcreamontop]

Danger Notes Challenge 8/?

Enjoy as I challenge myself to stretch my writing muscles by writing for at least five minutes nonstop under threat of starting the fic over

Fic 8: The latest Matchablossom au living in my brain

M/M Sk8 the infinity 1570 words

As the sun went down, Kojiro went to grab a bottle of wine and two glasses. Sia la Luce was closing for the night, and nobody else would be visiting. At least, Kojiro knew who he was waiting for probably wouldn’t come. But he couldn’t let go - he made a promise, after all.

This is your home, no matter what happens. Fight your ass off, and come back.

After setting the wine on ice, he retreated to the kitchen to finish closing. It was only thanks to the automatic doorbell that he installed was he able to focus in closing every night. His employees could confirm how distracted he used to be, after he left. Hiromi had practically forced him to buy the doorbell. Kojiro couldn’t help it. He wouldn’t believe Kaoru was dead until he saw the corpse himself, though it was entirely possible he’d never see it even if Kaoru did die.

Vivid in his memory was the last week the two had been living together. Kaoru was jumping out of his own skin, and that raised some serious red flags for Kojiro. The man was stubborn about elaborating what was bothering him. It took a complete mental breakdown to finally let the secret out. Turns out, Kaoru has been forced to join a crime organization to survive as a young adult, whose parents cut him off after graduating high school. It was just one little incident, and he was sucked in to the spiral. Luck had gotten him out, and Okinawa had served as a safe blind spot for him to recoup and rebuild some semblance of a life.

But Kojiro could tell something had gone very wrong for the other man at some point in life pretty quickly after the two of them had met at S. It was in the way he never showed any ambitions for the future, never talked about his likes and dislikes. He never even guaranteed he would come every week. Getting answers took ages, and the more answers he got, the more he fell for the other man. Hearing how his parents treated him, disapproving of essentially every life decision Kaoru made, trying to force him to take over the family business so the family could maintain its wealth, it made Kojiro’s blood boil. The worst part was he didn’t even know he was missing the biggest part of the story until long into their relationship, until it was too late. Kojiro didn’t even get to make a proper proposal, just enough to briefly exchange rings and promise to do it properly one day.

Keep this ring safe for me, and give it to me again, when this is over. They can’t know.

Kojiro himself was doing just fine. Sia la Luce was doing well, and he had a small crew of wonderful employees that he adored, including some rowdy teens he met at S who insisted they wanted to help. By all accounts, things were going how he had hoped. Many had said he should just move on with life already, and stop banking on a lost cause. After all, he had everything else going for him, why not find someone new?

But it never worked. As lovely as all the people he met and went on dates with, he couldn’t see himself being with any of them. None of them were Kaoru, and Kojiro couldn’t put anyone through dating him when he clearly still had feelings he couldn’t resolve. He may have done his fair share of dabbling with other people, but he wasn’t about to fake it and hurt someone. Hiromi shed tears when Kojiro came to that conclusion. The big softie was a romantic, after all.

Thus, life seemed to move on, unchanging. Sure, he still went to S, his family still checked in on the family business, he had no shortage of things happening around him, but at the end of the day, he could only imagine telling Kaoru about all of it. That he would set those wine glasses down, and Kaoru would be there, demanding to be served. They’d both yell at Reki and Langa to go home. The two of them would bicker, as they always did, until the bottle was empty. Until Kaoru finally relaxed, and Kojiro could truly take in how beautiful he was. He would give anything to see his face, to hold him, just one more time. Just to make sure Kaoru knew how much he loved him, even now.

But all he could do was set out those wine glasses and hope.

He didn’t know what was worse, living like this forever, or finally learning of his death, and being forced to move on. The clink of dishes was not enough to distract him. Seeing himself reflected in the plate, he paused. The light in his eyes was dim. He dunked the plate back in the soapy water, in denial of his reality. His knuckles quickly went raw from the excess force he used to scrub. The pain was a welcome distraction.

A stack of plates was still left to send through the dishwasher when Kojiro thought he heard the doorbell. The dishwasher had been loud enough that he wasn’t sure he actually heard it. He kept washing dishes, not wanting his hopes to get too high. And then he heard it again. And again. Slowly, he left the kitchen, attempting to keep his heart from pounding too hard. He could hear the bell more clearly as he headed towards the entrance.

It has to be Hiromi. Nobody else would come here at this hour. It can’t be him, it won’t be him.

His heart strained against his brain, trying to take control as he called a response. Every step seemed to shake his whole body. The floorboards complained as he crossed the dining room. Steadying himself, he opened the front door.

“I’m sorry, but we’re closed-“

“About damn time you let me in, it’s freezing out here!”

Kojiro looked up and froze. Lit by the moonlight in front of him was Kaoru. A battered, scarred, deeply exhausted Kaoru. His Kaoru. Who had to push him out of the way so he could come in and close the door behind them.

“Kaoru,” he could feel his voice waver as Kaoru turned to face him.

“It’s done. They’re gone,”

Kojiro noticed how empty his right sleeve was. “Your arm,”

“I’m lucky that’s all it cost me,”

“Guess you’ll have to learn to do calligraphy with your left hand,”

Kaoru shrugged. “I’ll have time,”

A lump came up his throat. He slowly reached out and felt Kaoru’s cheek. “You’re really back,”

Kaoru piled his own hands on too, tears in his eyes. “I am,”

All the tears from the past few years released all at once. Kojiro embraced Kaoru as tight as he possibly could. They were home, safe, together. Neither could stop the tears or the shaking, and they ended up on their knees together, weak from emotions. He soaked in Kaoru’s smell once more. It was different than it used to be, but it was still undeniably him. He finally released Kaoru, wiping the man’s tears as he did.

“Welcome home,”

Kaoru nodded, using his own sleeve to wipe any remaining tears. It was then the Kojiro remembered the lump he always had in his pockets somewhere. When Kaoru finally rid his face of tears, he was faced with a ring being presented to him.

“Kaoru, it’s time I gave this back to you. I’ll ask properly this time: I’d be honored if you would marry me and be my husband. Will you?”

“You really waited, like you promised,”

“Hiromi did make me try a few dates, but it never felt right. I knew deep in my heart that I wouldn’t ever be able to love anyone how I love you, and I hope you know how much I mean that,”

Words failed Kaoru, as he nodded and offered his hand. Kojiro quickly grabbed his matching ring from the box, allowing Kaoru to put it on his hand. They exchanged salty kisses, starved for the taste of one another. Neither could tell how long they stayed together on that floor. All they knew was that they would never leave each other’s side again.

They were the rudely interrupted by Kaoru’s stomach.

Kojiro laughed. “Come on, princess, I’ll make some carbonara for you,”

“I hope you’ve improved your recipe,” Kaoru took the hand offered to him.

“My carbonara has always been perfect, I don’t know what you’re talking about, your highness,”

Kaoru took a seat and helped himself to the wine as Kojiro disappeared into the kitchen. The smell of Sia la Luce calmed him, and he felt alive again. He was finally where he belonged.

Kojiro emerged with two plates of carbonara only to find Kaoru fast asleep at the bar, a look of peace on his face. Everything must have caught up with him at once. Setting the plates down, he stole a quick picture with his phone. They had plenty of tomorrows ahead of them, and Kojiro would treasure every one of them

[journeysofpatrickandarchana]

The toughest yet!

"Difficulties are things that show a person what they are." Epictetus



Original blog posted: 19th April 2013

We left Grenada on Easter Saturday at the crack of dawn. The anticipated travel time to Bonaire was 3 days to cover the 430nm at an average of 6kts.

For breakfast we had a fresh papaya with lime juice, the usual cereals, bread and jam.

As we left, the yacht appeared to be moving differently and I started feeling a bout of sea-sickness, the worst experienced so far. Two dinners for underway had already been prepared, a bologna sauce by Georges for Sunday night and a chilli con crane by Patrick for the following night. Despite the sea sickness I was hell bent on preparing an Indian Pea (mutter) Pulao for dinner that night. The combination of the motion sickness and the heat in the galley finally resulted in the worst thing that can happen in these situations.....I ended up on the leeward side emptying my breakfast overboard. Patrick, kind husband that he is, ran frantically from the bridge (after hearing a blood curdling cry of Paaaartrickkkkkk) and came by my side to assist with some water and bucket and reprimanding me at the same time for very elagantly leaning with head through the safety wires outside the yacht rather than using a bucket. Patrick had heard of people losing balance and ending up overboard carrying out this behaviour.

A breeze of fresh air cooled down my face and I felt a bit better. As I focused on the horizon, Phil and Sibylle who were at the bow sounded excited and when I looked down, I saw the most amazing sea-creature ever, a sea turtle that was at least 5 feet long was swimming close by our port side in the opposite direction and only managing to get out of the way of the yacht at the very last moment. All the excitement and elation took away my thoughts of the motion sickness for the time being.

We also counted our blessings that the turtle was on the side and not directly under the boat as he could have done some serious damage to the boat and himself.

Georges helped me with keeping an eye on the pulao that was now cooking by itself n a pressure cooker. Phil and Sibylle prepared the lunch platter while I continued fighting the motion sickness in the interim.

It was recommended that at this stage that I start taking the tablets and give up on the acupressure bands, ginger and other natural remedies. I noticed Phil and Sibylle were also fighting motion sickness in their own way but I was not yet ready to take the pill (sea sickness pill that is).

In the late afternoon I made another attempt at cooking and made a coconut curry (kokam kadhi) to go with the pulao for the dinner. But I felt drained at the end of it.

Many years ago in 1997 I had sailed in a tall ships race from Okinawa to Osaka. My memories of that trip are varied and distinct. The worst one about being permanently sea-sick, wrenching my guts out while being harnessed and tethered to the leeward side of the boat. Going down to the bunks with round portholes with the view of the water level half covering the porthole it felt like being tumbled in a washing machine. This feeling would make me extremely ill and hence for the later half of the trip I only slept (more like lying half-dead) in the saloon area of that boat with people eating around me and talking about me. However this was far better than being tumbled in the dry washing machine downstairs.

As result of this memory I wanted to sleep on the back deck in the open with some fresh air covered with a beach towel and another rolled up towel under my neck to support the head. When Patrick finished his shift at mid-night he checked on me and tried to convince me to sleep inside or in the cabin.

By inside he meant the saloon, but this would be occupied by Colin, who was happy to sleep out side the cabin even though he could have shared with either Georges or Nick when underway. (In port Colin either slept outside under the hard bimini, on the trampoline, in the pod, in the saloon or even in 2 single cabins in the fore peak. Lots of options here!

So I slept on the lounge outside and Patrick went to our cabin downstairs. Despite the 3 meter tall waves and the speed of the wind my tired body was rocked to sleep by the movement of the boat. Peace at last........

Like a nightmare I was woken up by the feeling of drowning with salt water rushing down my ears and my nose. This wasn't really happening, no it was a dream, no I was awake and it was real. I was gasping for air, the towel covering me was soaking wet and so was the one under me. My clothes and my hair were wet and finally after what seemed like forever I was able to breathe. What would have probably been a few seconds had summed up my life for me with the thought that if we were drowning I should have been next to my Patrick. (The violin has started playing)!!!!!

It took a while for me to gather my thoughts and senses and realise that a stray wave of unusual height had hit the aft of the boat and the water splashed up to water log me. The wave had been tall enough to soak Georges who was on the bridge (3m above the sea level) on night watch while Patrick rested.

Once I realised that I was alive and the boat was okay I collected myself and walked down to our cabin. I have never slept on the aft lounge since. I know if something terrible was to happen (god forbid) I would rather die next to my man. (Is there a violin playing again?!!!!!!)

When I went down to the cabin and curled up next to my Patrick in my soaking wet attire and sop story, Patrick just laughed, called me a drama queen and asked me to go to sleep. He also told me off for coming to bed in wet clothes. Too old for wet dreams!!!!

The next day when I narrated the story to the crew at breakfast, Patrick laughed once again and mimicked playing a violin. Wicked man.

Day 2 of this passage and motion- sickness continued. Another session of projectile vomiting and yet again overboard on the leeward side. Old habits die hard. What was the crew briefing about at the start of the trip? No leaning over the side feeding the fish.

This was the turning point when I decided that I would start taking Dramamine - the tablet to cure motion sickness. So when Phil offered me one I gladly accpeted. Hallelujah! Why had I resisted this so far? 4 hours later I was fighting fit.

The winds kept getting stronger (to over 40 knots) and waves higher (to 5 metres), the motion sickness returned as the effects of the tablet started wearing off. I took another one before going to bed and had a good night's sleep in our cabin on a bed that was still wet from the previous night.

The tablets were miraculous! I had started taking 2 per day at breakfast and dinner. (Pill popper!!!!)

On day 3 Georges recommended a stop for a late lunch stop at some small islands that belonged to Venezuela, known as the "Islas Los Roques" (islands of the rocks) - we decide to stop at Cayo de Agua. This was deemed as a good suggestion by most of us except Patrick (as this would mean that we travelled into shallow waters where the wave height increased and the wind just got stronger). We all looked forward to a relaxed meal in a beautiful serene bay with magnificent views. We even caught a fish as we got closer. From a distance the islands looked enticing but as we got closer the birds started making lot more noise and led us into thinking that they wanted us to leave their home and go away. The wind got stronger. I was sitting upstairs with Patrick on the bridge under the effect of Dramamine (my friend), enjoying the colour of the beautiful water that looked like someone had dropped a bucket of indigo in it. There were thousands of white caps indicating the ocean getting rough eras we got closer.

The decision to stop here had been made in the middle of the night. Gorges had recommended this place but of course covered himself by saying that it was a recommendation only and the final decision would be Patrick's as skipper. The guide books had warned against approaching these islands both for the safety of the area naturally and politically. Patrick had given into pressure not just for Georges but also for me. It would be another 18 hours to Bonaire and even a short break would have been good for my spirits.

Within a nautical mile of reaching the shores of the island, the apparent wind hit 34 knots and the speed of the boat being 6-7 knots we were in a 40 knot area. Patrick was handling the boat manually and finding it hard to steer and just as we were about to make a decision to turnaround we heard a loud clunk. It was in the middle of the day and fortunately all the crew were on the deck in the anticipation of land. The wind generator on the starboard had just given in to the wind and almost fallen off the boat. Fortunately 3 pairs of strong hands - Colin, Phil & Georges held it to prevent it falling into the water. One of the supports for the wind generator had come adrift from it's support and pulled the 4 screws out from t the deck that took all the wind generators support away apart from the base. As a result with the strong winds also pulling against the main support of the wind generator, the generator and its pole headed towards the sea. This reflected some poor workmanship in Saint Maarten by our highly paid team who forgot to properly ensure that the wind generator supporting arm bolt went right through the support to its mounting.

Losing a brand new generator would not only have been expensive but also impacted on how much power we generated each day. The solar panels were good for the sunny days but the two wind generators did their job on windy days and at night.

After securing the generator temporarily Patrick wanted to head off to Bonaire without stopping here but was convinced by Colin and Georges to halt at the neighbouring island to strengthen the fix and to have a quick check of the engine bilges to see why the bilge alarm had been going off at odd occasions during the night.

We anchored near the shore to see a very scary looking island full of rocks and birds, no sand, no trees, clear water but no fish The break was anything but peaceful. After a quick bite the boys got to work looking at the two problems on hand. We had planned to have a quick refreshing dip there but the current was so strong that no one dipped in the water.

Within a couple of hours after doing the absolute minimum, we left this god forsaken place with a promise of never to return.

The moment we were outside the bay in deeper water things looked better and the navigation program indicated an early arrival in Bonaire that night making it a 2.5 day trip to do 430nm which was a good effort as we had only sailed with an average of one reef in the headsail for the whole trip. This soared our spirits once again. As per the original plan we should have reached here at day break the next day morning but despite an effort to slow down we were here at 2am. Patrick was at the helm and Nick still up to assist with mooring. But it seemed that we had run out of mooring buoys. We moved from one anchorage to another and finally ended up using what seemed like someone's private buoy in a water in just over two meters deep. It was a chance we had to take at that hour. I barely slept until the daybreak and was pleased to see the sunrise and a small town waking up on the port side just a splash or two away. We had woken up safe in Bonaire.

After breakfast when everyone was up we found another pair of mooring buoys in the proper anchorage just 400 metres away.

We were amongst a number of big and expensive yachts just 50 metres from The Yellow Submarine one of the local scuba shops which had it's own wharf that we used many times during our stay in this barren and dry island that is the home of the pink flamingo and the majority of the south of the island is devoted in the production of salt. They probably export cactus's as they are just everywhere. Even the fences are made of hundreds of catcus cut off's.

All of us had been looking forward to Bonaire in the ABC islands and it was going to be a few days of R&R and fun!

[dojimakaichou]

It was late - or, at least, for Daigo's standards. Enough for him to be preparing for bed when Akiyama found him after a casual stroll into their bedroom and a graceful way of dropping himself all over the mattress like a lazy domestic cat. The loan shark grinned at this husband, who was in the middle of changing into his pajamas (a habit picked up after their adopted Kisuke) and then dropped a few paper slips onto the bed, close to the chairman.

Airplane tickets - to Okinawa, departing next morning (Daigo's actual birthday), and with a return date for the next week. Smiling wolfishly at the older man, the moneylender chuckled at his confused expression and intervened before he could even say anything.

"Yeah, I know - big potential client with a lot of subsidiaries in all of Kanto contacted you for this huge ass proposal with a horrible deadline, right? You rescheduled your usual stuff to accommodate this guy over your birthday and the next days. I know. Not because you told me about the bastard, but also because it's me. I did it. I am your client," the man explained with a grin that had perhaps a bit too much of enjoyment there - but not for making Daigo believe otherwise, but due to the underlying reason.

"You have been working too much, Daigo - I figured if I took you most of your agenda to free it up later, you wouldn't be able to complain. So I got us a week in Okinawa, where the weather is going to be much nicer than this cold thing, and we're going to take Kisuke to see the beach for the first time. Heck, we can even visit Haruka-chan if you're feeling like it - she did want to meet our own troublemaker if you're up to it."

Moving to sit up on the bed, Akiyama decided to stand up next, gently turning the still rather dumbfounded figure of the ex-yakuza towards him. Gripping Daigo by his face softly, the younger male brought him a bit down for a kiss (that damn height that Daigo boasted was still impressive), and released him shortly afterwards. It was a gesture meant to be a mixture of begging and an apology for having tricked his husband.

"It's just a break - for you. Well, for us," Akiyama chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck in that trademark way of his, "A change of pace. I even got two rooms so, you know... Kisuke doesn't hear anything when you fuck me with a view," the moneylender's eyes twinkled with amusement, but the overall tone was pleading - as convincing as he could be with his charm.

"You deserve a memorable birthday, Daigo. That's all."

UNSCRIPTED / always accepting.

★. ―

The ex - yakuza raised an eyebrow at the sight of the loan shark plopping down onto the bed near him. He ignored it otherwise, hoping to finish getting dressed before either of them got any ideas ( not that he wouldn't be interested, of course, it was rather that he knew these next few days were going to be hectic and he would need his rest ). However, the rustling of paper drew Daigo's attention, and he looked over with a furrowed brow.

At first, he didn't know what to make of Akiyama's surprise. His immediate objection to the trip being so masterfully stolen from his mouth and quickly pulled apart rendered the former Chairman speechless. Daigo's lips hovered open. Luckily, he managed to remember what he had been doing ; the way he tugged up his boxers was noticeably slow and mechanical, though.

Akiyama's kiss seemed to restart Daigo, like a pair of jumper cables on a spluttering car battery. As the moneylender rubbed his neck, his lover ran a hand back through his salt - and - pepper hair. Daigo cleared his throat and shook his head slightly, in awe of the grand scheme unfolded before him. He had completely forgotten his own birthday ( which was not uncommon ). The ex - yakuza realized now that their son's earlier comment about tomorrow being special must have referred to that — Daigo had assumed that the fourteen - year - old was talking about an exam or big day with a friend.

After another moment, the older man sprang into action. Without warning, he grasped Akiyama's waist, lifted him slightly off of the ground, and threw him onto the bed. The loan shark issued a rather undignified yelp as he landed. He felt his back hit the blankets at the same time that Daigo followed him on all fours.

If Akiyama's kiss had been an apology, Daigo's was his acceptance of it. The ex - yakuza's cheeks were dusted pink, but he pressed his mouth to his husband's nonetheless. Beneath him, Akiyama chuckled. Daigo didn't mind that their embrace fell apart rather quickly ; he loved the loan shark's laugh and subsequent grin.

Akiyama's dark hair, which was starting to show its own touches of gray, was spread out over the pillow. Daigo's gaze flicked down, admiring the glitter of gold around Akiyama's throat and crumpled collar.

"Thank you," the ex - yakuza finally said, raising his eyes to the moneylender's handsome features. "I should have known. Kisuke has been awfully well - behaved lately — you bribed him with the beach, didn't you ??"

"Sort of," Akiyama replied, lazily wrapping his fingers around one of Daigo's forearms. He squeezed the muscle there with open affection. Shit, he knew his husband could pick him up ( and was fond of doing so ), but Akiyama hadn't considered that Daigo was still more than capable of tossing him like a doll. Time really didn't wear him down, did it ?? If anything, it only made him harder to resist handsomer.

"I told him that if he could keep the secret, I would try to persuade you to wear those old blue jeans while we were there," Akiyama continued. "He refuses to believe that you have ever had them on. I even pulled them out of the closet once, you know — he insisted they were mine."

Daigo issued a loud bark of laughter. "You bribed our son," he said flatly.

Akiyama grimaced playfully. " — and your secretary to get this done, and Saejima - san to keep your schedule truly clear, and Melissa - chan to receive the tickets in the mail so you weren't suspicious . . . really, all of our friends and family were fair game."

The ex - yakuza sighed fondly. He kissed Akiyama's neck and then stiffly maneuvered to lay down beside him. Daigo turned onto his side in order to hold his husband. A large, coarse hand rested on the younger man's middle.

"What do you say, Daigo - kun ??" Akiyama asked, folding an arm behind his head.

In response, the former Chairman absently patted his midsection. Daigo scooched his head forward, which placed his lips close to Akiyama's ear. "I'll let you pick what kind of lube you want to bring, Shun — just make sure there's enough."