#and oh god it was so fucking hard to read

[m3nt4lly1ll1]

“Uh oh, my parents didn’t restrict my internet access enough, and I personally went on a website, personally toggled the “mature” feature, and read bad fanfiction. Surely this MUST mean that we have to censor everything!!!!”

“Oh but it’s really hard for parents to restric-“

Nope. Look up literally anything on parental controls. iOS has a feature that you can enable to block all mature websites. Better yet, block every website EXCEPT allowed ones. Android also has apps with this same feature. It takes at MOST an hour total to set everything up.

Myself? My dad did this to me. My phone and my laptop. Unfortunately, I was smarter, and I found ways around it. I deliberately went on sites I knew I wasn’t supposed to go to. I deliberately seeked out mature fiction. I ain’t that messed up because of it, I was fucked up PRIOR. I’m now a well rounded (..barely??) adult. As far as fiction goes, I’m stable, and solid in my beliefs. I can separate fiction and reality, and I don’t let the two mix.

Is it my father’s fault? Barely. He did his best. He was just unfortunate to have a son who’s really good with technology (still am, I’m going to college for Information Technology). I’m at fault mostly, because I was the one who did all of that stuff. Deliberately. Should I have been seeing it at that age? No. I also wasn’t the intended audience. I also wasn’t legally allowed on those sites. I am at fault. You know who isn’t at fault? The creators of the media I consumed. It’s not their fault that I, and others, such as yourself, went out and found things we weren’t meant to.

YOU are at fault. And, if they didn’t try, so are your parents. But the people who create these things aren’t. They didn’t go “oh? You’re underage? HERE READ THIS MATURE FANFICTION MUAHAHAH”. It was in an adult space.

And for the love of god.

Writing things in fiction doesn’t normalize it

Do you see a normalization of.. hm.. let’s say the scream movies. Do you see loads of people running around with Ghostface masks and killing people, blaming it on the movie?? No.

Do you see people slaughtering their classmates because they have a crush on a boy, and blame it on Yandere Simulator? No.

Do you see people actively flirting with their sibling because they saw Ouran High School Host Club and thought it was okay? No.

Do you see people do ANYTHING because they saw it in a movie, or a TV show, or a book, and said “it’s real I must do it?”

Sure, there are, likely below 0.0001% of people who might think so. But you know what? Those are severely mentally ill people. That girl? Yknow, the one who killed because of slenderman or whatever the fuck? She suffered from psychosis my dude.

Take fucking accountability instead of blaming other people who had nothing to do with your actions.

Fanfiction literally cannot "normalize" anything. Fanfiction is a weird little niche and fics are not something with massive cultural impact.

[dollesung]

talking about sunghoon being shy.. imagine him cumming so hard the first time choke him lightly and keeps thinking about it 24/7 but he's too shy to ask you to choke him again :(

sunghoon couldn’t get the thought out of his head… 😵‍💫

sex with sunghoon was always exploratory. as his partner, you discovered the things he liked in bed the same time as he did.

it was a little difficult to navigate your sex life, given that you wanted to be gentle with the whole thing in fear of hurting him or doing something he didn’t like.

but contrary to your belief, sunghoon liked everything you did. it’s like you could read him like a book. you immediately knew every soft spot, every little thing that turned him on.

so when you and him were having sex one night, it wasn’t a surprise that he, once again, discovered something new that he really liked.

“noona, nnh,” sunghoon moaned, watching as you bounced on his cock, sitting on his lap.

“yeah, baby?” you cooed, hands on top of his shoulders as you steadied yourself.

“fuck, fuck—!” he yelped when you bounced harder.

“poor baby can’t talk?” you taunted, laughing mockingly as you continued to bounce your cunt on his cock. “feel so fuckin’ good, hoonie.”

he beamed at your praise, “please,” he begged. “w-wanna cum—“

“that’s it—“ you encouraged, feeling your orgasm pooling deep in your gut as well. “cum for noona.”

it was such a random decision, an afterthought, even, but when you decided to wrap your hand around his neck, gently putting just the right amount of pressure to squeeze his throat, sunghoon felt himself burst almost immediately.

“o-oh, my god—“ he cried out. “noona—!”

you feel him orgasm inside, his hot release filling up your cunt, causing you to cum soon after, pussy clenching on his sensitive cock.

the two of you spend a few minutes to catch your breaths, your head resting on his shoulder as you do so.

but the only thing sunghoon could think about, was the way your hands felt around his throat, and how hard he came when he felt it.

NOTE. this one is SOOOO meh. i feel like i might have to do a pt. 2. i’m off my game today and i’m so sorry for that ㅠㅠ keep sending reqs tho.

© dollesung 2025.

[ajwrks]

—Rent!

mtmte various x gn! human reader

please tell me ya’ll have seen a trend (well it’s not really a trend trend..) on tiktok about a couple and one of them is like… “i can’t pay rent this month,” and their significant other also is like… “what rent? you don’t pay rent, i do?” LMAO well this is what i imagine this to be like with some of the lost light crew 😭😭

characters included: whirl, rodimus, rung, riptide, & swerve!

content: sfw, fluff, romantic themes, crack (ofc) | wc: 1.4k

WHIRL

whirl looks at you like you’ve grown five heads. what do you mean you can’t pay rent? his one optic is bright and expressive as they narrow deeply at you. because of his unpredictable nature, you’re growing nervous due to his unresponsiveness as he just… looks at you in utter disbelief.

“what? your brain not working or something? when the hell do you ever pay rent?!” his voice was a mixture of shock and exasperation. at this point, your poker face was falling apart— quickly too. 

“well for this month, i can’t pay the rent whirl,” 

“what the fuck are you talking about? i pay it??!” 

after you told him it was a prank, he threw an accusatory claw in your direction saying that if you pull something like that again, he’ll make you pay rent (not cool) but don’t worry, he obviously didn’t mean it! he swears up and down that it's his duty to provide for you, even if that means paying all of the rent

RODIMUS

walking down the ship's corridor you arrive at his office door, pushing past the automatic slabs that revealed him hunched over a clutter of papers with a digital device gripped in his servos, typing furiously as he swiped with precision as a surgeon. when rodimus made the perfect combo, a ding sounded, and for a split moment, his face plates lit up with a smug expression before glancing up at the call of his name.

“oh hey y/n,” he smirks at you, setting down his little game console he got from god knows where, and he also knew damn well he wasn’t supposed to be off task like this either, but you digress. “what’s up?” he asks. 

“rodimus i don’t know how to tell you this but…” you pause, taking in his expression. rodimus leaned forward slightly, his gaze steady as he tried to read the false tension in your face. 

“what is it?” 

“i can’t pay rent this month,” there was a long stretch of silence as you stared at each other. he lets out a bitter laugh before he could stop it. it was high-pitched and hysterical, completely out of place. 

“i’m sorry, what did you say? you can’t pay rent?” rodimus struggles to probably inhale a proper breath at how hard he’s heaving with laughter. you bite back your own as you morph your face into one of irritation 

“why are you laughing? this isn’t a joke. i seriously can’t,” 

“i’m laughing because you can’t and don’t pay rent” his laughter died off, but a smile still lingering. “seriously, you had me thinking it was more serious than what it was,” his arms folded behind his helm.

“what do you mean i can’t pay rent?” you completely forgot about the joke, you raise your brows at him expecting him to try you. you dared it. 

“welllllll i mean… aren’t you broke?” 

he learned his lesson immediately after! (don’t worry man you’re not broke!) obviously, he chooses too pay it… but you gotta let him know that you’re more than capable to pay those expenses too  

RUNG

rungs' desk was cluttered with scattered pieces with intricate materials, each one waiting to be assembled into his current ark— yes, another one. it was his dear hobby so you like to sit in his presence and chat while he worked his nimble digits. 

“rung?” you call his name in the midst of comfortable silence. rung held up a thin, elongated piece, squinting at it curiously thinking about where it could fit in his construction. 

“yes my love?” he finally answers, giving you his undivided attention. you pretend to ponder on a thought that seemed to greatly bother you.

“rung… i can’t pay the rent this month,” his brows furrow deeply, genuine confusion rewrites itself on his features. he hums silently as his servo gently lands on the back of your hand. 

“well you don’t have to worry about that. you don’t have to, remember? i pay the rent…” his voice is soothing, the simple offering of comfort— a smile tugs at the corner of your lips as you falter. rung looked absolutely concerned, afraid your memory suffered a bit during a time he didn’t know about or if you had gotten the wrong idea somehow. 

“it's a joke, don’t worry,” you chuckle, shaking your head. 

honestly, you were kind of expecting him to take it somewhat seriously but not entirely. his reaction was definitely endearing to you though. it was impossible to keep up that act for so long (we stan rung) 

RIPTIDE

when you approach him with the joke in your shared habsuite, i feel like he’d actually be scared for his life and yours. like what?? you can’t pay rent??? it really just proves to you just how forgetful he can be. 

riptide laying on his side as he flickers through the various pre recordings from different entertainment media on the projected screen from cybertron. you lay the opposite side of him, also looking at the flashing images with a grin growing on your lips, glancing over at riptide— a heavy exhale leaving his chassis. 

“borrrrringgggggggg,” he was determined to find anything suitable for the both of you, but was getting increasingly harder each second. 

“hey riptide?” 

“yeah?” he replies without a beat of reluctance, unconsciously tugging you a bit closer to him in the process. 

“i don’t know how you’re going to take this but… i can’t pay rent this month,” your voice lowers, making yourself seem smaller. 

“okay that’s cool— wait what?!” he snaps his helm in your direction almost incredulously. “then how is the rent gonna get paid?” he went bug eyed. your mouth gaped open, you tilt your head hoping that the angle might help you make sense of what the hell just came out of his mouth. 

“are you serious?” you release a breathy laugh at his mounting fear. 

“uhhh yeah?!” you roll your eyes. 

“you better start throwing it back for some cash then,” riptide looked increasingly afraid at your statement, oblivious to your taunting banter. 

“i’m not throwing back anything—! let's give megatron to the djd and see if they pay us…!” 

you weren’t sure if he was serious or not in the moment when he said that... but it took him an embarrassing amount of time to come to the realization that you were joking and that he pays the rent. how could he forget? puffing out his chassis with a “oh yeah you’re right. i do pay the rent” like he totally didn’t just have a breakdown trying to figure out how rent is going to be paid when he's the one who takes care of it

SWERVE

it was late hours, there was no one but swerve carefully, wiping down the last bit of the glass cups that were freshly cleaned by his servos. he slowly looked up to the sound of pattering feet steadily getting louder with each step. swerve grinned goofily like a teenager at the sight of you. leaning over the bartop you smile back. 

“what’s going on y/n? i definitely thought you would’ve been asleep by now— you know, human sleep cycles and stuff… they’re super weird,” you maneuver your body into a stool as you cradle the side of your head in the palm of your hand. 

“i was waiting for you, swerve,” swerve puts more of a pep in his step now that he knows you're waiting for him. 

“this is the last one, so don’t you worry in the slightest,” his smile broadens. your face suddenly changes, which scares him half to death. “y/n? what's the matter? was it something i said?” 

“no it's just… i won’t be able to pay the rent this month,” you give a dramatic pause, your voice dripped with mocked despair. swerve stilled momentarily before smiling again once more. he leaned over the countertop as well to close in the distance. 

“c’mon y/n. you’re for sure gonna have to try harder than that! i saw that trend already!” he barked a laugh, backing away as he set down the last glass in its respected place. well. there was absolutely no way you could have expected that one. you scoffed in disbelief. your mouth parts, but closes quickly. the words never properly formulate as you just sit there as swerve continues to chuckle here and there. 

“damn. i thought i could’ve got you…” 

“don’t stress your head y/n! even if you did get me, you know i’ll always take care of you.” 

swerve did NOT fall for it. damn him and his definitely unhealthy consumption of human media. now, you were determined to find a prank that you were sure he wouldn’t see

— i love riptide so much 💔. but lmk if pt2 is something yall want 🤤

[gojosuagrbaby]

thinking about dilf!osamu as always :(

just imagine, dilf!osamu who has his eyes set on one particular pretty little regular, who always finds their way into onigiri miya every saturday night like clockwork. coming in before the masses of drunkards just so they we can have a chat with him before the chaos ensues. not that he minds, oh god no, how could he?

dilf!osamu would close the shop early if it meant you would sit in that barstool by the counter, your tits pushed together by your arms, and bat those innocent eyes at him. (he also would close it to shove his cock down your throat)

dilf!osamu who knows your order off by heart, and always throws in a little freebie weather it be a flavor you’ve never tried or a small mochi his daughter made for him.

dilf!osamu who eventually gets tired of the back and forth, desperately needing to fuck you see you outside of the restaurant! so he makes a plan, the next time you come into the restaurant he’ll throw his number in the bag too…or he’ll just ask straight out?

dilf!osamu who nearly keels over when he sees you walk into the restaurant the following saturday, in a tiny little outfit that leaves next to nothing to the imagination. he swallows hard as he looks you up and down, his voice coming out a lot more hoarse then he wanted it to.

“hey osamu~” you purred at him, and he genuinely thinks he creamed his pants a little like a pathetic teenager. for crying out loud the man is twice your age, you shouldn’t be having this effect on him!

but…when you sit down in your usual spot, leaning over the counter to talk to him, it clicks. you knew exactly what you were doing.

dilf!osamu who listens to you chatter on and on about your night, everything going in one ear and out the other. he doesn’t mean to! really he doesn’t..it’s just so hard when your talking to animatedly..and your tits keep jumping at him, basically calling him to his doom like a siren.

dilf!osamu who only snaps out of it when you call his name, tilting your head to the side with an innocent look on your face, if he was paying attention he would notice the small smirk forming.

you have him right where you want him.

dilf!osamu who says fuck it and leans over, smashing his lips against yours in a all too messy, yet very heated, kiss. the sheer desperation behind the kiss is enough to let a whimper slip through your lips as you grip osamu like he’s your life line, practically climbing over the counter to be impossibly closer to him.

dilf!osamu breaks the kiss first, both of you panting slightly as your eyes mirror each other, lust blown and hungry.

“fuck, m’sorry.. i got carried away i should’ve-”

you cut him off swiftly with a giggle, a sound that causes osamus hips to buck into the air, his cock twitching in his pants.

“i was hopin’ you’d do it before i had to”

you grin up at him, spreading your legs slightly as you fix your position, sitting on the edge of the counter facing him.

oh he is so fucked.

—

pt 2

an, i literally wrote this for my bsf because we’re mourning this one osamu fic we read, so i had to try lift out moods!

[chvoswxtch]

hi!!!!!!

so excited for movie night!!!! <3

could I possibly have a romcom (directors cut edition) with ftws!bucky pls!!

something along the lines of, "all you had to do was ask," if yk what I mean 😏😙😇

hi nonnie!!! welcome!!

fatws bucky has my whole ass heart. I don't know what they did to him in thunderbolts and i'm scared so i'm gonna pretend like that's not happening rn and we will go back to a simpler time <3

unfortunately since you're on anon, I can't do the directors cut, but I will give you some delicious bucky visuals and set the scene for your imagination to run wild ;)

headcannon below the cut

cruel intentions starring bucky barnes

bucky barnes is a shithead. if you don't believe me, I implore you to watch the entirety of fatws and point out one time he isn't being a sassy, snarky, taunting lil fucker (and we love him for it, i adore my bitchy lil grumpy super solider)

also the man has been through it so I think he's earned the right to be bitchy

being a super soldier means that everything about bucky is enhanced (😉) which includes his senses. now he's not quite at matt murdock level of heightened senses, but he can tell certain things about people (think cap in the elevator with the hydra agents clocking that shit from a mile away). he's also learned to read body language as a former assassin

combine all that with how well bucky knows you, he can always tell what kind of mood you're in very easily

so when you're frustrated but too stubborn to admit it, he knows. oh, he knows. and he's patient enough to get you to break and give into him

lets say you two had a petty argument, and now you're giving him the silent treatment. but you haven't seen each other in over a week, and he knows you want him just as much as he wants you. but instead of being the mature 107 year old man he is and trying to talk it out with you, he decides to be a teasing lil shit instead

suddenly your car needs an oil change and bucky is out in the driveway wearing that slutty lil blue henley that makes his eyes look so pretty, and he's got only one of the buttons buttoned, and the sleeves are pushed up to his elbows, and the shirt looks like it's been washed and dried one too many times bc you can see every muscle in his back and shoulders flex when he moves

and then he decides to silently join you in the living room, where you're still ignoring him, and he sits down right across from you and spreads those thick ass thighs in a way that makes your mouth water bc why are his jeans so fucking snug like that and he's just calmly reading a book not making a sound or saying a word with no expression on his face, but internally he's smirking bc he can feel your eyes on him

every room you migrate to, bucky seems to appear in with some reason or excuse, shredding your patience to a paper thin strand that is a breath away from snapping

the stubborn part of you wants to be strong and continue ignoring him but the weak part of you can't even remember why you're upset and does it even matter when he looks like that?

the last straw is when he saunters into the bedroom in nothing but a pair of grey sweatpants that hang dangerously low on his hips, and he drops down to start doing push ups. he's grunting not bc he's straining himself, he's not even breaking a sweat, but bc he knows it'll make you think of him grunting in a different way with those dog tags dangling deliciously from his neck

finally having enough, you slam your book shut and toss it carelessly aside on the bed before stomping over towards him. bucky glances up over his shoulder at you with an expression that was almost innocent, except for that stupid smirk spreading over his mouth. as soon as you're within reach, bucky suddenly turns over onto his back and grabs your leg, tugging you down on top of him with a cocky grin (you know the one)

"now that wasn't so hard, was it? all you had to do was ask, doll."

sam wilson is truly god's strongest soldier bc he puts up with bucky's attitude and ^that??? i'd fold like a lawn chair in a hurricane

[cinnamqnx]

heartbreak summer ꨄ︎

pairing: sae itoshi x f!reader

summary: after your friend finds out her recent ex has been in the news tabloids with yet another girl, your idea of get back turns your night into an unfortunate series of events with the outcome landing you directly in front of re al’s star player, and you’re about to kiss him.

cw: nsfw elements, swearing, toxic relationships & behaviour (not too much from sae surprisingly), angst

chapter 06: match day

the day of re al’s match had finally come. you and kaia had both decided to attend while natalia decided to stay home, football wasn’t really her thing.

“well, why do i want to watch your boyfriends kick balls for 2 hours?”, she had asked, her tone full of sass and sarcasm, causing kaia’s eyes to roll at the time.

“looking good in my jersey, baby.”, oliver runs up behind kaia, causing her to squeal.

“god, oli, shouldn’t you be in the locker rooms.”, she slaps his arm gently.

he chuckles, “yeah, but i wanted to come see you, i was surprised you came.”

“y/n was coming anyway..”, she dismisses him.

“oh yeah, you’re here to see our star player, right?”, he hums, tilting his head slightly with a lazy smirk.

“mhm.”, you nod.

“he’ll be happy to see you.”, he turns to kaia, “anyway, gotta run, and you both should go sit down since the match is starting soon.”

“i’m getting popcorn, oliver.”, kaia states, in a tone like he’s dumb.

he rolls his eyes at her, “aren’t you gonna wish me luck?”

“good luck.”, she says, not turning to look at him, causing him to sigh loudly, “alright, i’ll see you both out there.”, he puts his hands on his hips, sassy, and rushes back to the locker rooms.

“god, he’s so obsessed with me.”, kaia says, turning to you once getting her large popcorn, making you giggle.

current score: 1-2

“what the fuck is oliver doing? GET IT TOGETHER!”, kaia screams from the sidelines as she sees oliver get a yellow card, causing him to turn over to the screaming holding up a somewhat angry ‘what?’ pose.

“they’re really not doing well out there.”, you say, a little worried.

“i know this is so unlike them.”

“sae hasn’t even taken a glance at me.”, she turns to kaia.

“he’s known as the star of the team and he didn’t even make the only goal they’ve scored. he’s probably embarrassed.”, she pauses, “i have no idea what’s up with them.”

“i hope he’s okay.”, you say, looking over to find him, his hands rubbing across his face, grabbing his water bottle.

final score: 1-2

the car ride home was silent and the tension was thick. oliver was currently driving with kaia in the front, while you was sat next to sae in the back. kaia glances back at you, hoping she isn’t the only one feeling awkward by the tension.

“soo, you guys did well out there.”, she says, so obviously trying to make the boys feel better about themselves after this unexpected loss. they hadn’t lost a match since starting the season.

“kaia, don’t.”, oliver warns, causing her to just stay silent.

oliver finally drops you and sae off back to his apartment, turning his keys to open the door, “are you okay?”, you ask.

he turns, gently grabbing your hand and pulling you towards him before you even got the chance to admire his high end apartment.

“i’m sorry. i just need this right now.”, he mutters against your lips, with the next thing you know, his lips are on yours with pure desire and need.

navigation: heartbreak summer

next chapter: 07

author’s note: tysm for reading!! a lot of the chapters from now one will have quite a bit of writing since we’re getting to the climax of the story, but i try not making them too long since i personally find it hard reading with way too much detail. i’ve also added all chapters to the navigation page of heartbreak summer since i finally have it fully planned out! so you might be able to get some hints based on the chapter names 🤭

taglist: @vaelils @shironagi @megumiivs @captainshindo @evry1luvssm @alatusorrow @pookalicious-hq @gigiiiiislife @tnt-kokoo @misosoupii @whisperofae @bontensbabygirl @s4-mmy @viviinpt @werfiedeii @dinnersyummy @sccubss @nuhahani @treeguzzler

[brotherwtf]

💬: Favourite quote in episode 1-2?

favorite quote is diabolical because there's so fucking many in episode 2 ALONE that's like asking me who my favorite child is

"don't count on it" is absolutely insane because hey why is such a casual disregard for your life holding so much emotion and meaning? why did Gale's breath hitch when John said he was going to be flying? diabolical

"oh I can read upside down"/"don't have to buy me flowers" fuck you guys why are you being so gay and suggestive so early in the morning I'm trying to eat breakfast

"only two b-17s left in the air, it would be me, and it would be you, Buck" "don't count on it" GUYS IM RIPPING MY HAIR OUT JUST CONFESS THAT YOURE IN LOVE ALREADY

"maybe I was getting tired of all the heavy petting going on at your end of the table" is actually a god tier quote fuck you RAF guy but I gotta say that that was pretty fire

but I do think my favorite all time quote in these two eps is "If I'm gonna bet on anyone, I'm gonna bet on us, Buck" hey what the fuck did you mean by that John, you're gonna bet on the two of you? you're gonna bet on the fact that you're so inseparable and devoted to each other that that's the only logical answer? to bet on each other? ESPECIALLY after Gale just told you that he has a strained relationship with his father because of gambling and betting?? SICK

those first two eps were chock full of gay moments god it's so hard to pick just one thank you mota writers for front loading it with queerness

[kiya-buggie]

hey you retarded whore.

i heard your ugly. like really ugly. you know, im not one to shame, but you? pfff! beyond saving. not even my dad would settle for you and that means quite a lot.

you know, i believe that you should straight of delete yourself. no one wants tk see your ugky art or stupid talks. you're a boring, intolerant woman that lets people pay her for services. not even apored would rent a flat with you, thats how cheap, broke and hated you are. bibis beauty palace wouldn't have made ads for your products, simply because anything you produce is garbage. your words, your actions, your looks... say that im harsh but you should kill youself. and since your oh-so-okay with pedos and zoos on your page let me add myself to the party: after you've shot yourself in the head, i will rape your dead body so hard that even god turns away. without any enjoyment, your holes are even good enough for that. but how I'd love defiling you, showing the world what kind of dumb slut you are. it would be worth the disgusting urge to throw up when i touch you.

Ok thanks yappichino

I could not give a fuck <3

Sounds like someone has jealously issues lol stay mad waste ur life hating and go do something productive, okay? Thanks!

Learn how to spell. Keep yapping bitch

Im not ok with pedos and zoos dumbass read the fucking room. <3

[11queensupreme11]

Are the yans going to be loyal to Percy or like the gods would they have other lovers?

i'll start with the easy answers to get them outta the way

poseidon: loyal!

hades: loyal!

apollo: loyal!

anubis: loyal!

okay, that's done, now everything beyond this will be least likely to most likely to cheat:

beelzebub: will THINK about fucking someone to make her jealous just so he'll know that she still loves him, but he's smart enough to know that it's a bad idea. yes he wants her jealous to reassure himself that she still loves him (or maybe as a punishment), but knows that this would break her heart and cause resentment

loki: would fuck someone to get percy's attention (like maybe he's feeling jealous and wants to punish her) and then lose his shit when she doesn't care lmao

and now.......... (this is a long one lmao)

cú chulainn: he's like the zeus of the celtic pantheon, which means he's a huge whore.

he fucked (consensual and not) so many women, there was one instance where he fucked through a whole family (mother, mother's sister (through rape), and then mom's married daughter (they had an affair behind her husband's back)), HOWEVER....... i'm not done with reading through all of the ulster cycle myths, but so far i can only find one instance where he cheats on his wife, emer, with fand, a daughter of a sea god.

his reaction was shitty af omg. when emer becomes understandably upset, for some crazy ass reason she gathers a bunch of other angry women with knives to go kill FAND and not her cheating skank of a husband, and cú chulainn basically mocks her and acts like a huge dick about her being upset over his affair. he also gets angry at her for daring to deny him from fucking other women

(back then, not just in ireland, but in ancient times in general for most societies unfortunately, a man cheating was considered the norm. in some cases (like in ancient greece for one) a husband fucking another woman wasn't even considered "infidelity" and just him releasing his urges. it wasn't the same for wives tho, THEY had to be loyal)

anyways, emer finally decides to give cú chulainn up and FAND is the one whos like "oh no no, im so sorry you can have him 🥺". emer and cú chulainn make up, and they get their memories wiped of the affair 💀💀💀💀💀💀

ANYWAY. because of that ^^^ he is obviously the one most likely to cheat. not just because he actually did cheat on his previous wife, but also because of how he reacted to her grief and how archaic he since he's ancient too. he did end up apologizing to emer, but percy's not emer. if he were to cheat, percy won't forgive him at all. first he rapes her and forces her into a marriage she never wanted and now he has the gall to treat her like this? nope! cú chulainn's pretty much stuck in a loveless marriage now. he could either do the right thing and set her free with divorce, or try to desperately rekindle things which will be very very VERY hard 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

[oh-no-its-bird]

OH MY GOD NO BC I LOVE THIS???

Secretly just wolf summons Hatake... what did Tobirama do that made them like him so much? He somehow managed to tempted them into playing human for at least 3 generations (before presumably they got bored of it and fucked off)

There must have been any adjustment period for them to learn how to be human, and it must have been so fucking funny to see actually

I am picturing. Office scene.

Ok so picture this with me please:

Early Kohona. You are working in the newly established hokage tower. One of your new co workers is this Hatake guy.

Hes kind of weird, but it's whatever— a lot of clans, especially the animal ones have some quirks. You've heard the Hatake especially were a wild clan living the middle of nowhere Iron Country, super shit education, super isolated, super poor social skills. Apparently some of them can't even read.

You try to tell yourself it's whatever, and he really is nice— but he's also really fucking weird.

You've walked in on him eating out of a bowl by shoving his entire face into it and licking it clean like 10 times. Almost every single time he gives you a sort of deer in the headlights look and immediatley scrambles to use a spoon, holding it like he doesn't know how to use it.

You're pretty sure he keeps summoning his giant ass wolf summons in the office for some reason ??? You keep seeing flickers of fur, a tail flicking around the corner, that sort of thing.

(Your desk chair is apparently its favorite place to sleep because it's constantly covered in heavy grey fur. He denies it but looks guilty every time you bring it up. Once he even mumbled, "I dunno maybe you just smell nice to him." under his breath when you tried to shake an answer out of him. This did not endear him to you.)

He's an absolutely shit liar, especially for a shinobi. Whatever he thinks is usually written across his face in big, bold letters. It's almost like he has no control over his face at all, doesn't know how to still his expressions.

He keeps bringing you dead things, and at first you thought it was some sort of hazing ritual but now you're pretty sure it's supposed to be some sort of olive branch...? He once dumped an entire rabbit carcass on your desk. Your summons are rabbits. Obviously, you took this to be a threat.

After a week of nonstop stress, when you finally explained the misunderstanding to him, he looked only a little crushed.

Sorry I got a little carried away but like u get the picture. Early Kohona Hatake's being absoloutley awful at playing human but trying their best.

(Even tho that kind of ended up turning into a failed office romance au. Poor unnamed Hatake, u will never get the guy for they know what you are ((a freaky little weirdo))

ANYWAYS UMMM.

Sakumo being raised by Hatake who've already learned to play human (and being raised among actual humans) and being so much better at it

Then Kakashi doing the same but past another generation so he's even more distanced from being a real wolf

Actually funniest option: Sakumo dies like in canon and Kakashi, left alone, does actually believe he's a human boy. No one is here to tell him otherwise anymore.

Maybe it's a way to cope with his father's death, who knows

I think for this specific bit it'd be funny if the human disguise was a henge (that for some reason just can't be seen through, don't think ab it too hard)

Kakashi is LITERALLY a whole ass dog, the henge doesn't work on his own eyes, when he looks in the mirror he sees a dog. But he's just. Convinced he's a human boy. He is a human boy.

Kannabi bridge happens and Obito and him swap eyes but somehow because Dog(tm) Obito survived and goes back to Kohona with them.

But now because he and Kakashi exchanged eyes, he can see through the fucking henge. And he is losing his GODDAMN MIND !!!!

He thinks he's going insane at first.

Rin puts Kakashi's eye into his skull, and hes like, still under rocks or whatever. Rin is like "is it... working?"

And Obito coughs weakly and squints and looks up at her like "y-yeah, yeah I think—"

And theres just this record scratch as he suddenly notices the fluffy dog that's. Right there. Wearing Kakashi's uniform. With Obito's eye in his skull.

And Obito just cuts off abruptly, staring at Kakashi as he let's out a really high pitched "UM."

And then the dog speaks in Kakashi's voice and goes, "Obito, what's wrong?"

And Obito let's put an even louder, more high pitched, "U M ."

And now Rin is asking if he's ok too, looking super worried, but all Obito can blurt is,

"KAKASHI ??? WHY ARE YOU A DOG ?????"

Both Rin and Kakashi go silent, and then Kakashi, sounding genuinley distressed, is like, "Rin you were supposed to switch our eyes, not give him a lobotomy!!!"

Rin is putting her head in her hands starting to cry and going "ITS HARDER THAN IT LOOKS OK"

Anyways, they somehow get Obito knocked loose and return to Kohona and the entire fucking time Obito feels like he's going INSANE, but he's trying so hard not to comment on it bc Rin started crying ab how she'd made him crazy with her medical malpractice girlboss moment as Kakashi (dogkashi???) Looked as close to 'about to throw up' as a canine can look.

Anyways just. Obito losing his mind about Kakashi secretly being a fucking dog and Kakashi insisting he is a Normal Human Boy, he promises.

Every time someone has a crush on Kakashi or smthn Obito loses his mind even more bc theyre like "ohh he's so handsome...he's so mysterious..."

And Obito is like, head in his hands "he's a DOG he's an actual literal DOG"

He's given up trying to tell people this bc they either think he's crazy, trying to insult Kakashi somehow, or are like "ahaha yeah that dog lmao, what a man" (which is somehow the most upsetting result for Obito)

Obito confronts Kakashi multiple times and usually comes out of the conversation w Kakashi going some flavor of "do u hate me bc I'm different :(" and Obito going "am I... dog racist? Dogist...?"

Anyways, final thoughts: They made a dog the Hokage. (And he was somehow one of the most effective Hokage's in decades)

Hodogke....

Saw this art on twitter by @1iemak and it got me thinking ab silly things

Naruto au where everything is exactly the same in every way, but Kakashi is inexplicably a wolf. This changes literally nothing; he's just a wolf now. Not anthro or anything just. A wolf.

No one ever comments on it but its implied that he's been using genjutsu to make everyone think he's human.

The only one who has ever been able to see through this was Obito (possibly due to sharing eyes with him) and if he ever mentions it to anyone, they think he's crazy. (Crazier)

[certifiedgoofball]

"i hate marc spector" okay? should we all clap? throw a party??? invite jeremy slater?????

[vaguely-concerned]

thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:

the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)

it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.

"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)

as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.

that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.

[teddybeartoji]

i cleaned my room i changed my sheets i took a shower i am a normal human person now everybody cheers

[scheherazades-vigil]

JayVik existing or not in the show was never my concern so much as who cares (and was reflected in me specifically commenting about who cares enough to hate on JayVik, obv), but I said that bc Jayce disability was lipservice and disabled characters always end up doomed AND beholden to the narrative. I barely consider S2 canon, but you do you. It's also ableist bc like 2/3 of the plot involving Viktor/them revolves around FIXING DISABILITIES?! And you're beautiful bc cancer hahahahaha kill me

Jesus let the disabled person have an opinion about disability for once. Have yours, but don't invalidate mine or you deserve yours to be

I don't think you understand queerbait in at least one of its used definitions (language, shockingly, evolves and, in this case, has done so) but gg nitpicking what queerbait is ig :/ imo it is bc the show USES the draw of (often) MLM/bi relationships to increase revenue and ABSOLUTELY intentionally plays fanservice but then swaps out at the end to be like BUT NO HOMO LOL. I may not have thought half these things so deeply if it weren't Linke doing so much bad lifting, though. I am very serious when I say that he hits hella homophobic. That was a LOT of it and thinking this jerk wrote the CaitVi sex scene as anything BUT male gaze... k

If you liked it fine? I hated it

I think sex could've come at almost any time and not been gross. This WAS gross. Don't agree, k, you go fuck your gf in a grimy jail cell like the one you spent 7 years in and call it rep, peeps, idc. I really don't believe in all this LULZMAGICINSTAHEALING power of love s2 stuff like Jinx also gets, but ig you do and that's cool

Oh I never said it wasn't queer btw, what the hell is wrong with you people? Twist my words any more and they'd make it to the Olympics

I'm actually done responding probs tho bc you weirdo ship fuckers are dumb. I say don't hate ships, hate bad writing, and here y'all come with the OMG THEY WANT THE HOT GUYS TO FUCK AND ARE LESBOPHOBIC specifically bc I didn't like a scene or y'all hating a ship

I never said I did or didn't want JayVik canonized by the fucking way, I just called it as I saw it... QB bc chicks'll dig it or whatever, God Internet randos piss me off

I'm not reading all your narrow-minded bullshit, but ftr I'm duh v pro WLW, I may as well call you queerphobic for disagreeing with me (so rancid and vapid). Can you comprehend the stupidity and bias of these baseless accusations yet? Grats on not knowing shit about me or my values tho such that you must invent them. Speaking at I can't be arsed to recall your names so RB #1 mostly ftr.

I don't know how anyone could like the ships as they are represented in the show? Genuinely? How can, I repeat, you like bad writing? Like CaitVi got dragged through the mud making Cait some war crime dictator classist rich dick in a mansion sugga momma (istg if you disagree on the first part bc she has a nice ass or Runeterra doesn't have a Geneva Convention or something...), Maddie got a rando character assassination as a twist and was only there as a junior officer CaitVi obstacle anyway, which is tragic but I digress, Jayce killed Viktor on what I assume is Red Bull and himbo energy bc what kinda takeaway was that from hexcorized AU-land? Meljay disappears out of nowhere for some reason, no resolution. Timebomb is only (shown as) canon in a waste of time AU episode you couldn't even get away with in English 101, like, are y'all fr?

Fighting me so hard for legit no reason isn't the hot take you think it is but go off or whatever, see I, too, can be a cool kid

But fr can't we just unite in our disappointment in S2 instead of whatever the fuck this is. Y'all are why we can't have nice writing

At least I'm caring less about you as time passes but. The writing, bro...

Wait, why are people saying JayVik is this evil giant fanservice thing? If anything it was stupid queerbait! I like the ship but I felt like the whole thing was a big stupid mush of poor writing, outright ableism, and altogether just slop that made no sense. I didn't care about the alleged shipping, like who the hell would even NOTICE or care at that point? Like the writing belongs in the trash so I couldn't care less, and I'll just go to AO3, thanks.

The mage should've been Ryze. Or anything else.

Conversely, Vi going down on her abuser (and murderer of her people)... I literally don't know what to think and have decided for my sanity not to care. I assume it's male gaze fetishism, which is why there's no gay or bi ships. Men can't take that. Too yucky for them.

Meh sorry. I got grossed out by the weird accusations. Like who cares how many ships there are or who ships them? Are ship wars literally more important to you than the show?

[burningarsenic]

GET OUT OF MY HEADDDDDDD

I read the Perseverance fanfic and its stuck in my head now congratulations

Idk whats going on with this man idk if hes the harbinger from the symbol and at this point im too scared to find out, but hey no ones ever gonna stop me from putting a halo over a possible cult messiah

GO READ PERSEVERANCE NOWWWWWWWWWWW NOW NOW NOW

Version without all the visual bullshit i added:

Perseverance AU and fanfic by @pastelaspirations

Turns out inspiration struck way quicker than i thought it would. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your masterpiece :)

[just-null]

i have come here to personally thank you for giving me more than i asked for 🙏🏻 i am utterly grateful like IDJFKDKKFODOD 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️ it made me so happy the last doodle has my heart he is so cute i will eat him

also there is a DROUGHT out there for us noritoshi fans like im living on CRUMBS its insane and omg dont even talk to me abt how it feels like to be a kashimo and ino lover (altho they are getting a bit more love now) my nori is still underrated :/ sooo hence im asking ur hand in friendship and in exchange i promise to share my hcs with you abt nori my sweet lil meow meow we're in this together 💪🏻💪🏻

also since its October, do you think he likes horror movies? i feel like he can withstand gory movies but its the jumpscares that get him and he wont tell u he's scared when u watch one with jumpscares owkfkdkd imagine him hiding his face against ur shoulder or something 😭😭😭 (i used to do that with my dad when we watched horror movies and i used to be like im not scared😤😤 when he asked if i was lmfao thats where this hc stemmed from)

N. NORITOSHI HIDING IN YOUR SHOULDER OR SUPPRESSING HIS REACTIONS TO THE JUMPSCARES....... WAS IT AN INVOLUNTARY REACTION TO USE YOU TO HIDE??????? WAS IT BUILT UP TRUST????? DID HE GROW USED TO HOLDING ONTO YOU WHEN HE GETS SURPRISED BECAUSE HE WANTS TO MAKE SURE HE HAS HIS VALUABLES SAFE????????? WAS IT A MOMENT WHERE HIS MIND JUST INSTINCTIVELY GRABBED THE FIRST THING HE WANTED TO PROTECT/BE PROTECTED BY???????? OH MY FUCK.

he's probably used to gore and gritty stuff like that since he sees it often being a jujutsu sorcerer and all. not to mention his technique is literally blood. maybe he's desensitized to gore films, the most you'll get from him is a disgusted scowl.

BUT DID YOU SEE HOW QUICK HIS EYE OPENED WHEN HANAMI SHOWED UP BEHIND HIM. YOURE SO FUCKING FR ABT JUMPSCARES. Noritoshi is that guy who wouldn't scream or yelp but gasp really loudly and jump out of his skin.

i feel like they get him most in horror because of the music building up anticipation. if its one of those fake outs where the jumpscare comes a bit after, he's fucked UP. It makes him instantly miffed, as he tries to regain his composure. He swears he's not usually like this, it got him by surprise is all..!

Noritoshi is the type that'd only watch a horror movie if the story is rich and complex. He's the type of guy to like open endings that make you think.. if it's a guilty pleasure movie where all the protags make stupid decisions, he gets annoyed right off the bat.

He's groaning and complaining about how imbecile the characters are, but would still watch it with you because you personally invited him. If he's lucky you could fall asleep on his shoulder or [insert movie cliche here] how could he pass that up? But Noritoshi wouldn't be able to focus on you if he gets twice as annoyed because its a bad movie + jumpscares. it still startles him, but the movie is so terrible, he's embarrassed it got him, especially in front of you!!!

if you get involved and you tell him to quiet down, Noritoshi would shift his focus towards you. like that awkward guy who thinks he's being smooth and lowkey about how he cuddles up next to you. He wants to be the tough guy who's shoulder you can hide in, and he is!! just not.. with jumpscares.......