#and of course theres a spectrum of sex repulsion

[quartergremlin]

Please ignore this if any of these would reveal spoilers for anything you’re working on but I have a few questions regarding the clarification comic. Is Casey Jr eventually born into the good timeline too? If so would he basically be bad timeline Casey’s little brother? I don’t know if you ever said if Casey Jr is afab (I can’t remember if you ever confirmed either way) would he lay eggs too since he’s technically half turtle? He looks pretty human but are there any other surprising turtle traits? Also do you see any of the other brothers having kids in the good timeline?

okay, so

if raph and cass had kids in this timeline I think that they would be completely different people due to circumstances. would they look the same? maybe? more likely than not CJ and any potential other children would be like any other siblings. sometimes they look extremely similar sometimes they don't! i guess that's a really long way to say no. sorry!

i suppose I've answered this one, yes!

i haven't said either way and I haven't decided either. it mostly just depends on if it would be funnier for him to be afab or amab in the moment (if I don't just make him intersex). as for eggs! I'm going to say yes if it applies, but probably a lot less than the turtles lay....

i always forget to draw little details, but he does have little scales on his shoulders and elbows! he does have a shell that I've drawn before, but the scutes are really thin and more like a softshell shell, even though raph is his ma.

5. I've thought about this a little bit! i don't think donnie would have his own kids. i think how many raph and cass would have would depend a lot on how many brownies are around, but they'd be very comfortable with a full house. it is possible (very very rarely) for some reptiles to have kids even if the eggs arent fertilized, so I think mikey would have a few? they'd probably want at least one kid.

leo?ㄟ( ▔, ▔ )ㄏ no idea. tho he and yuichi both come from pretty big families.... it would probably feel weird with less people around, huh.

[amysubmits]

Anon from earlier, about the asexual thing. To clarify what I meant about the stereotypes (I was gonna include all of this in the original but didnt want it to be too much or feel like I was ranting/lecturing. Sorry it ended up too vague in the end.)

The stereotype most present is that asexuals don't have sex or dont seek fulfillment through sexual relationships. Asexuality is about attraction, not libido or activity, and it's a spectrum, not a you are or you aren't. I totally recognize part of that was presumably specifically in response to the original anon saying they dont necessarily think a lot about the sexual part, but, and this is a good example of how not being familiar with the community can trip people up, sex positive/favorable aces usually do at least engage in, if not actively seek out, sex. So the whole thing kinda played into the "asexual always means absolutely no interest in sex" stereotype.

Also, sort of a side note, re your answer to my first question, there's really nothing I've seen on your blog indicating that you are or aren't asexual, though of course I could have missed something. You are probably right that original anon didn't care whether their question was answered by someone who wasn't ace, or they would have gone to a blog by a kinky ace person, but your blog doesn't make it super clear that you are not that.

And for the record, I am 100000% not saying that like, your answer was terrible or even like, offensive. Theres just so much shit in the kink community that gets piled on aces and aces get excluded a lot from kink stuff bc of that specific stereotype. Ill own that Im a bit sensitive to it bc the kink community in my area does really cool events that I have been told not to attend because of it.

Thank you for elaborating, I appreciate you helping to educate me.

I didn't understand that asexuality can be just about attraction rather than being about the degree of 'drive'. I knew it was a spectrum, but I thought it was more of a spectrum between being sex-repulsed on one end, to having a lower-than-average amount of drive and/or attraction (I thought some people identified as ace for low drive and others for low attraction) on the other.

Now learning otherwise, I realize I was incorrect in saying that it should be clear from my blog that I'm not asexual. I am demisexual, so I guess according to some at least, that would make me asexual?

I guess within the context of that question, it still seems to me like they probably were trying to imply that they have a lower sex drive, though? Because this person they're playing with is their boyfriend...so if their asexuality was on the end of the spectrum closer to demisexual, I don't know that they would be asking how to make BDSM and asexuality mix, as a demisexual person would theoretically have no significant differences in their sex life or D/s dynamic while in a committed relationship than someone who wasn't demisexual. Right?

I didn't mean to suggest that asexuality always means the person has no interest in or isn't open to sex. I knew that wasn't the case, and I understood that the anon was saying they are open to sex at least to some degree. Despite realizing that, I had no way of knowing the degree to which they're open to sex, and I had the general recognition that they might be struggling to mix BDSM with their asexuality, so I thought it made sense to focus my response on non-sexual things that might work for them. Though maybe me focusing exclusively on non-sexual stuff could read to people as if I was assuming this person has no interest in sex at all?

I think what may have been read as feeding into that stereotype the most could have been my comment about if my sexuality's were 'removed from me'. I can see how someone could read that and think I was saying asexuals are people who have no sexuality at all? That wording was not the best choice, and I can see how I could have been hurtful. I am sorry about that. I should have been a bit more careful with my wording. I wasn't saying that to try to use that as an analogy for asexuals. I was saying it to try to make the point that for me (and I think many others, asexual or not) many aspects of submission can be unrelated to sexuality.

Also, it's totally understandable that it's a sensitive issue for many in general. With you being excluded from events over this...it's easy to understand why it would be a real sore spot. I'm sorry that happened to you...that's just not right.

[bi-lesbian]

im not sure why people think that bi lesbians just have internalized biphobia and/or lesbophobia. i dont feel "shame" for the bi label, if i did i just, wouldnt use it at all?? im not distancing myself from either "bi" or "lesbian" label, they both just feel accurate to describing my attraction more specifically together than either term could alone.

and in no way does bi lesbian somehow say that bi is 50% gay and 50% straight, or even that any bi person with any amount of preference to women are lesbians/have to use the lesbian label.

bi spans across a whole variety of attractions, a bunch of different percentages for different genders, and for me as someone that has attraction so far on the end of the spectrum of bi, using just "bi" or even "bi with a preference" does not suffice or feel accurate to describe myself. when my attraction is about "2% men/mac nbs and 98% women and nbs," calling myself just "bi" or even "bi with a preference" doesnt really put into perspective just how miniscule my attraction to men is compared to my attraction to women.

honestly itd probably be easier to just label myself Just lesbian since my attraction to men is so extremely tiny that its very unlikely that ill actually date any men in the future or want to persue romance with them (im excluding sexual relationships bc im a sex repulsed ace), but even then just lesbian still doesnt feel accurate for me. unlike people are assuming, im not "ashamed" of my attraction to men, or "feel dirty" about it, even with how miniscule my attraction is to them, im actively not wanting to completely exclude my attraction to them, regardless of if ill actually date them or not.

im not wanting to separate/distance myself from either identity, nor do i feel like either identity is "lesser" than the other, especially not lesser in describing their attraction to women, its simply just that put together they mean something more specific that fits my experience with my sexuality than using either term alone, and thats why it feels right.

and as an additional related topic, the myth of "lesbians are secretly attracted to men" and the act of "correction" rape on lesbians, in no way has the fault fall on bi lesbians simply trying to define their experiences in a way most comfortable to them. it doesnt play into the myth or tell men that "yes lesbians Do actually like men too!!", the existence of bi lesbians or lack thereof doesnt have an affect on this stuff. that is because the men believing this stuff do not care. they dont care if theres bi lesbians out there or not, most or all of them probably never even heard of bi lesbians (in my experience, there not even that many ppl that identify as bi lesbians, so im not sure why people seem to think that its a huge cause thats fucking up anything lesbian related).

they dont care for any sort of reasoning for or against the myth, bc if they are going to rape someone, theyll use any sort of shitty excuse to try to "justify" it bc they are twisted and fucked up, and theyre also going to do it whether they have an excuse or not, bc they are sick, and do. not. care. and even if they did use bi lesbianism as an excuse for their shitty actions, that is not the fault of bi lesbians. you cant push the idiocy and lesbophobia of assholish men that believe this myth onto others just identifying in a way thats comfortable for them. please stop trying to pin the blame on others and put the focus on the people actually believing the myth and actually doing the "corrective" rape, they are the source of lesbophobia, not the people just trying to describe their identity.

and for the topic of "if bi people call themselves lesbians then what do i call myself when im exclusively wlw!!!??" you just, use lesbian? if someone calls themself a lesbian, its not bad to bi lesbians to still think "exclusively wlw." in fact im saying as a bi lesbians myself that its better to always assume "exclusively wlw" when someone says theyre a lesbian, itll Only mean something different if they also then use an additional term with it.

also terfs trying to use this term to invalidate trans identities (which i havent seen myself but ive heard ppl mention) doesnt mean bi lesbian as a whole is bad. terfs arent defining this term and theyll never be able to take it even from my cold dead hands. assholes trying to take a term and approriate it to their shitty mindset shouldnt then be made to be a fault to bi lesbianism as a whole, the transphobia is from the terfs, not bi lesbian.

and of course, this is just from my perspective of using the bi lesbian term, others use it differently!

[womanaction]

Do you wanna word vomit about your favorite dnd PCs? I wanna hear all about them please!

Omg, anon…bless you. Of course I do!

So right now I am playing two characters in different campaigns, and then I have another character for some upcoming campaign (maybe this year, maybe not). These are the three I have aesthetic-y blogs for, and they are probably my favorites, although I have a special place in my heart for my first character and she is involved in one of my current campaigns as a bit of a legacy.

Elysia (@la-elysia) is the character I’ve now been playing for the longest time, and I’m continuing to play her for probably another year. She is a grave cleric, and specifically a priestess of Hades. She’s a half-elf, and both her parents were good-aligned clerics (and their parents before them, and so on!). She was raised by the elf half of her family, and resents humans even though her parents parted on amicable terms. She also wanted to choose her own path in life, and so she chose to follow Hades. She thinks life is more complicated and dark than her families have always taught her, and that the most important thing to honor is the thin line between life and death.

When I started out playing her, she was fresh out of her (required) time as a soldier, so she was a little rough and edgy. She’s still quite young, and at first it was obvious how much she chose to worship Hades more as an “identity” choice than as a religious calling. But after visions and actual encounters with him over the course of the past campaign, her fangirl-y obsession has evolved into genuine devotion. She’s still kind of edgy, but she has learned some more restraint, and she has started seeing more of her decisions in the light of her deity. She’s also softened on humans a bit, after Hades seemingly marked another party member (a very messed-up human bard) as important for the coming battles.

I’m looking forward to finding out what her sexuality is, lol. She’s certainly somewhere on the ace spectrum, but I think she might be bi as well. It’s tricky for me to figure this out because her greatest devotion will always be to Hades, and she doesn’t like to really get close to others. She is uninterested in sex generally, but not sex-repulsed; if the proper context arises, I think she might be interested in sex for ritual purposes, which sounds like a fun thing to explore.

Then there’s Remi, @remi-wtmadir​. She is a very shy wizard who is beginning to come into her own. She is Dragonborn, but is no longer in contact with any of her family (a prominent dynasty of warriors and leaders) due to her more eccentric interests. She’s in her mid-40s and has spent the last couple decades in academia - studying magic, of course, but also researching her great love, Infernal poetry. She has a small collection and hopes to start her own library.

Remi is quite awkward and is uncomfortable with using her size and apparent fearsomeness to gain any benefits. However, she has a very analytical and strategic mind, which has led her to an interest in war magic and especially battlefield control. She is very attached to her party members, but is not sure how to appropriately express it.

This has only come up a little bit so far in the actual campaign, but she finds religion a bit distasteful. She enjoys the beautiful art, architecture, music, and poetry produced by religious fervor, but in general she thinks it tends to be mindless and that the so-called deities worshipped by others (yes, even her friends) are undeserving of such praise. Her upbringing was religious, and she’s uncomfortable in overtly religious spaces (shrines, temples, etc.) as a result, although she is not intolerant of religious people. She is also a lesbian, but has had very little chance to connect romantically with anyone because she felt especially othered by her race and background. I am hoping she finds someone who would be interested in sharing her life’s work!

Finally, there’s Margana, @marganathered, who is brand new but I find exciting so I wanna talk about her! She’s a human warlock, with a fiend patron (details not yet worked out). She was quite wealthy for a while as she made a living as a famed and beautiful dancer. She loves nice things, but her greatest love is actually for her husband, who is a very gentle, kind, and simple sort of man. Unfortunately, she had a bad injury and was unable to dance. They quickly fell into poverty, and she watched her husband suffer doing long hours of work he loathed. So she sought out a way to repair her injury. She’s not the most patient or learned, so there were some unintended consequences - in regaining her ability, she lost her husband. Her new patron told her she could recover him if a certain quota of destruction was met. If it were up to her, she would probably have few qualms about anything standing in her way, but she knows he would lose his love for her if he found out she had slaughtered innocents to get him back, so she has to be a little more thoughtful about how she meets this quota. Also, her wedding ring is her focus, which I just think is fun.

Other characters I’ve played recently or have in the wings include Matilda (the OG monk who makes terrible decisions and loves kids), Fryryn (genderfluid lizardfolk druid who spent way too long in isolation), Elas (Elysia’s nerd brother who would probably die immediately if I had to actually play him), Buddy (totally normal paladin bro, the best guy you will ever meet), Angelique (dwarf barbarian who really wants to explore her feminine side), H (man? woman? nb? human? elf? two gnomes stacked on top of each other? who knows but they’re a warlock and hella cool), and Issmi (weird human fighter/rogue/monk, would fuck you up as soon as look at you).

[foulserpent]

for me, as an ace person, it just means that i lack a sexual attraction to other people. it's a spectrum, where on one end you have people who are sex-repulsed, never want it/never will. on the other end you have, say, demisexual people, who don't experience attraction until a deep bond is formed. being ace has never, to me, meant that you don't want sex ever. it's about your attractions and how they relate to other human beings. i'm ace, but with a libido. it has meaning to our community! (c)

© that said, i know there are a lot of conflicting views on that, but the ace communities i take part in largely view it this way. there are people who take things too far, of course, but hopefully the people i know and love in my community can outvoice the hateful/oppressive people. i’m sorry you feel disenchanted with us!

i appreciate the politeness here bc i know the “asexuality doesnt actually exist” statement is like wildly inflammatory in some circles but like… i get this. i was in the ace community for 5 years, i completely know and understand everything youve said here and it actually SUPPORTS my viewpoint

whats happening here is that a bunch of wildly unrelated things here are being taken as a “spectrum”, like please shoot me for making a food comparison here but it would be like. seeing some people who dont like a food because theyre allergic, some people who dont like it because it gives them bad memories, some people who dont like the texture, some people who dont like the taste, someone who loves it but cant eat it due to allergies, someone who loves it when cooked a certain way but wont touch it otherwise, someone who kind of likes it but cant eat it much, etc etc etc. 

and instead of going “yeah theres a lot of people who dont eat this thing” you call it a “spectrum” of one concrete thing even tho its a lot of unrelated but superficially similar behaviors linked to one thing. of course peoples sexualities are infinitely more complex than a fuckin food choice but the logic used in how you group things into labels is very similar here

and yeah as youve acknowledged, theres a lot of different viewpoints but even the most common one of “no sexual attraction” doesnt make sense bc like.. you cant fully separate libido from sexual attraction. like they sure as hell arent the same thing but there are overlaps and divergences. you cant separate sexual attraction from actually wanting and having sex either, like again its different things that overlap in really fundamental ways. 

so that makes so many definitions completely collapse bc like. they rely on the assumption that sexuality and romantic attraction and libido and having sex are all just neatly separated little piles that everyone has more or less of, and not a mess of interconnected things that vary from person to person

so like basically my thing is its just. not a specific Thing being labelled, its a ton of different unrelated things existing under a label but asexuality itself doesnt really….exist without a label if that makes sense, and it can actually be harmful in some cases as it can mislabel things like sex repulsion or internalized homophobia that you can actually work through and isnt just something youre born with as the label suggests

but like idc if people use it like knock yourself out but its kind of meaningless and even uneccessary at times bc no one besides potential sexual partners really needs to like.. know

[1x20]

to the anon who think theyre ace but still feel sexual attraction, you can be allosexual and sex repulsed, you dont need to be ace for that :) theres of course nothing wrong with identifying as ace or somewhere on the spectrum if thats what you want tho :)

Yes!!!!! Nothing’s binary - especially not sexuality or gender identity - and all “combinations” are possible! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that ^^