#and of course here are more scenes but i can only add 10 gifs

[junaip3r]

Good Omens + Parallels

[halliescomut]

LITA (jpn) Episode 6 Feelings

I'm finally caught up and slightly more on a schedule, so I have been patiently impatient while waiting for new episodes.

Now that we've thrown the timeline out the window, I really feel like this adaptation has kind of stepped into it's own. If we're looking at the og series, we have events spanning 9 & 10, with a smattering of details from episode 8.

We end off last episode with Kai collapsing, and start the episode again in the exact same place. What I think has been the most interesting about the adaptation is where they choose to add in new details that round out the story in a bit of a different way. Most notably here is more of Rain's perspective during the episode. Instead of what was basically a bottle episode in the og, taking place almost entirely in Sky's dorm, here we see peeks of what is happening elsewhere, and this adaptation much more clearly paints Rei and their classmates in a much better light. There was A LOT of discussion when LITA originally aired about how Rain was a bad friends for giving access to Sky's dorm to Prapai (You can read my thoughts here), but here I feel like they make a choice to show more of Rei's thought process and that it's not a mindless decision.

We've still not seen Kai actively say anything to Rei about not wanting to see or speak to Fuma, similarly to the og, but at this point Rei seems aware that there is not only something between Fuma and Kai, but that Fuma is specifically down bad for Kai, and I feel like this nuance matters. As I pointed out in my original post about this- Rei doesn't know Kai's past trauma, he only knows that Fuma feels about Kai the way Arashi feels about Rei, and because he can't conceive of a world where Arashi would intentionally hurt him, it doesn't occur to him that Kai would ever have any reason to fear Fuma. This in addition to the fact that we see Rei actively taking over the club responsibilities for Kai, to take that stress off of him while he recovers, paints Rei in a far better light. And not only are we TOLD that he's taking them over, we're shown that in a short and very sweet scene between Arashi and Rei as they work on those tasks. Which also builds on Rei's overarching storyline of becoming more mature and responsible.

The focus this week, of course, is on Kai and Fuma, with Fuma taking care of Kai, basically as best as he knows how. They do give Fuma a bit more ability here, being able to cook reasonably well, and we don't quite get to the cleaning of the bathroom, but maybe next episode.

I talked before about how Fuma's geniality feels a bit more forced or fake. It's not to say he's a terrible or mean person, but more that he sort of engages his charm to cover when he doesn't necessarily like someone, or to distract from a lack of genuine affection.  I feel like you kind of see that in the scene with the bootycall (that might have been last episode, but the point still stands). In this episode we start to see genuine care, concern and worry, and so that charisma doesn't feel fake. Yes, he's trying to flirt with and woo Kai, but it's transitioning from that superficial vibe from the previous episode. And it's a difference that I think Kai can feel, and so it's part of the reason that he starts to open his heart a bit more. It's not the biggest change script or story-wise, but here we get a more verbal fever-ridden Kai, and he shares potentially more than he would want with Fuma, and I think it gives Fuma a much bigger inkling that Kai's history is darker than one would assume. One of the marks against Prapai was that he would kind of push past Sky's boundaries because he wasn't aware of his history. He doesn't get the full story until the very end, and he doesn't ever seem to think it's more serious than a bad break-up until he gets that full story. Having this knowledge NOW gives Fuma more insight and enables him to be more specific in how he approaches Kai. One of the things I sort of gleaned from the flashbacks was that Kai was a pretty cuddly guy, and because of his experiences with Kurosaki, he doesn't really engage in skinship anymore, even platonically. But Fuma encourages him to sit close, to lean on him, he enjoys the closeness, giving Kai opportunity to embrace that part of himself again. When he stops Fuma from touching him, Fuma respects that boundary, so it makes it even sweeter to see Fuma continuing to make the offer, but also Kai slowly giving into it.

I truly think it's kinda sad that so many wrote off this couple because they didn't like Prapai/Fuma's methods, because watching the story again, my heart is so touched watching Kai start to see himself as loveable. And one of the things that I kind of find so lovely is that even as Kai tries to be kind of his worst self- rude, snippy, a bit threatening, none of it phases or turns off Fuma. Fuma is fascinated and endeared by all sides of Kai, and Kai is kinda confused by that.

There's a lot of moments from the og in this period that are my absolute favorite, and so there's some sadness that those scenes are missing, but I think they replace them in a way that maintains the spirit of the original and gives space for this creative team to show their own perspective. One they did keep, that I was ecstatic about was this moment:

This line, and really this whole conversation is really the first time Sky/Kai starts to see Prapai/Fuma being fully honest and transparent, even in a way that may not be "attractive" and it's the moment I kind of mark as the beginning of that shift for Sky/Kai recognizing that it's not a game, but serious and all the implications that that knowledge brings. We do also get the wind drawing scene here, and it is practically identical to the original, and I do think this is important. It's iconic and integral to the characters, so it's one of few points that I feel is important to be included.

Our penultimate scene is a dinner when Kai is starting to feel a bit better, and it's kind of an amalgamation of the breakfast scene in ep 9, the daydream kiss, and the 'it's fading' scene, and it works, but also feels kind of all over the place in a not bad way. One thing I particularly enjoy is that while we do see interactions in the og between Prapai and his younger brother, and even some references to them, we see a genuine conversation here about Fuma’s siblings, and most importantly his affection for them. Because Fuma is presented as a sort of selfish, superficial person, adding that layer to reinforce that he does know how to build and maintain relationships is pretty necessary. After bring up the nipple piercing (which I kind of figured would be a detail they didn’t follow through on) things take an unfortunate turn and Kai wants to leave. There's a lot of emotions happening for both Fuma and Kai at this moment, so the scene kind of has a sense of whiplash. It leaves you feeling unsettled, and then it's followed up by Kai encountering Kurosaki again. 

I’m honestly as surprised to see him now as Kai. I wasn’t expecting him to not comeback until episode 10, but I kinda thought episode 8 to be honest. And we don’t really know where this scene ends up, like is this going to be a short hassling of Kai and then Kurosaki leaves or is this going to turn into another physical assault like episode 13. We see in the opening credits that we do get that scene, but the question now is basically when that happens. All around I just think it’s an interesting choice, though I couldn’t say good or bad until we see how things shake out next week. It’s just…we haven’t seen enough progress from Kai really, that this will probably cause a severe backslide, and even could lead to the break-up and journal scene, but if that’s what happens, I think it might feel unearned. The journal scene is one of the most delicate scenes, and so it needs to be handled very carefully, and is one that I think especially you can’t rush into.

But now we're just fully getting into speculation territory. To get back on topic, I do want to say that I think that Kai's actor, Nagatsuma Reo, is doing a phenomenal job. This type of role is incredibly difficult, and his acting is wonderful. It's quite subtle in the spectrum of things happening in the show, and very affecting. With so much of Kai's character development being mental/emotional, it's hard to really show, but he does. We see the reticence and the hope as he interacts with Fuma, and it's just so good.

I really struggled to fully articulate my thoughts for this episode, so I hope all of this made sense. I'll see you when we get the next episode.

[summercreolefanfictioner]

Can i request some modern college au Kanato fluff headcanons if that's possible?? ^^

hohoho I've been planning to answer this a bit later but it's kanato's birthday so might as well 😉 oh btw I don't think fluff headcanons would cut it so might as well add a whole lot of things for his modern college au version

ps. you can view kanato's modern college au romance scenario here (yes the s/o will be fem reader based on this scenario)

warning: a bit of nsfw

kanato sakamaki: modern college au headcanons

modern boy living in an art of dolls, life, murder series, and desserts

kanato is actually taking up forensic mortuary science (basically everything about embalming funeral and reason behind death sht) bcos even in an au where he lives and breathes as a human, he still has his fascination with death and such so might as well throw them all out in this kind of course

he actually thought of dermatology or being a surgeon at some point bcos he'll get a license to cut somebody open but yeah his average grades won't let him make it

besides he can work in crime scenes and hunt criminals like in those murder crime documentaries he binge watches 24/7

while kanato enjoys studying under this course, he actually has average-ish grades just bcos karl annoys the sht out of him and he only does well in practical exams (so yeah if you give him a test paper, he'll most likely get a C or D; at least it's not an F)

he also takes up like two business classes on the side bcos karl demanded all his sons know something abt business management (ya know in case ayato decided to rebel against him and not become the heir)

he only had like 3 or 4 ex-girlfriends and they're either studying philosophy or english studies; and fun fact: these girls study in the same building as him

another fact: yui was shocked bcos she has no idea she's been in the same class with all kanato's ex-gfs all along 😭😭😭

but he had one ex who goes to the same class as laito's

you might think he'll date someone from his own class but actually, the forensic mortuary science course only has one class and there's only like 10 to 15 students (most of them being male); and since this purple gremlin right here is so introverted, he will never date someone who's obviously from the same circle 'cause he will always pick someone who won't draw that much attention

sounds like his modern college au scenario tbh (link above)

the triplets are all famous in the ryoutei university for being the it boys??? since ayato is the cute varsity player (I based this on the fact that Japanese fandom said he's babyface), laito was the casanova, and kanato was the "cutie goth kid"

ofc all the triplets are models, especially laito and ayato. but kanato was the only hand model out of them like yeah sure they've used his face and all for gothic photoshoots but what caught their eyes is his hands so yeah he's been careful not to get them injured or anything

another thing: boy wasn't allowed to carry teddy around school (bcos karl)

he actually tried smoking once bcos he saw laito and subaru doing it, only for him to cringe at the taste. laito mockingly laughed at him with kanato saluting him with a middle finger

his room is actually a purple harajuku pastel paradise like everything's lit with purple LED lights and filled with stuffed toys. also has his own mini fridge for his snacks and other things. his room is basically his own man cave.

his fashion sense is a mix of modern punk rock with a bit of goth. he also wears piercings for fun (but not too often). you can refer to his official super best art for more details

he wears piercings bcos of brotherly pressure (like once upon a time ayato and laito thought kanato must get piercings like then and they ended up injuring his ear)

now onto the fluff hcs that the anon asked

kanato as a boyfriend in the modern college au has no yandere tendencies so yeah we should be grateful

however, purple gremlin's so filled with jealousy and sassiness you'll think you're dating a brat

but he's not like caging his s/o or anything or demanding them to text him every second; he just doesn't like her being so friendly with other people

like too friendly with people (given by his own introverted tendencies)

would always ask his s/o to hang out with him after school like netflix and chill or chilling in the park laying on the grass and admiring the flowers

would even go to a stuffed toy shop with her or invite her for dinner at a desserts cafe

he's so good at resin and everything jewelry so he has prob given his s/o a lot of handmade jewelry pieces (even thought of opening his own online jewelry store)

even willing to use his own car just so he could drive his s/o around (he doesn't use his own car bcos why would he when they have their own family limo and sometimes ayato drives him and laito back home)

fun fact: his s/o studies culinary major in pastry??? and a few hotel restaurant management courses. also part times in the school cafe to learn a thing or two abt managing a restaurant

if you have read the scenario, you're prob aware that he met his s/o through ayato

kanato isn't a big fan of pda or something since he keeps everything lowkey so he doesn't kiss his s/o in public or do grand things, but he can deal with holding hands or intertwining pinkies

he doesn't also like those things such as going social media official like those celebs cause he thinks it's unnecessary

but if someone spots him and his s/o somewhere and asks them if they're dating, he'll just say yes and not elaborate anything

fun fact: after the ending of his romance scenario, he casually announced his relationship with his s/o to yui and his bros like nothing happened (like no preamble, he just dropped the bomb)

although kanato works with a lot of formaldehyde and other chemicals in his course, he actually keeps himself clean like he makes sure to change his clothes and spray on his sweet perfume so his s/o won't sniff chemicals that could harm her health

when it comes to arguments, kanato might look like a tough nut, but he's nothing but a soft cookie

he would say he doesn't care but he is sobbing as fvck and dying on the inside

he's like "how dare she? why won't she just make it up to me?!"

so yeah he ends up yielding bcos he has "spared her mercy"

now, with his nsfw headcanons hahahahahahaha

so here's the thing, his s/o actually passed out after their first sex so that counts as something

he's actually so good at foreplay tho, examining everything he could do to his s/o and how she'll get off with just his fingers 👀

likes leaving hickeys in places no one would see

would also gaze at his s/o from afar like he's already undressing her with his eyes all predatory and with a smirk that says, "see ya later"

ofc he practices utmost aftercare, like leaving his s/o clothes arranged on the nearby couch with a cart full of desserts and a few drinks on the side so his s/o could feel how much he loves her

would also cuddle with her all night long (that is if she doesn't have curfew)

he experiments with bdsm and roleplaying every now and then bcos he digs sht like that but he doesn't go knifing his s/o like he does in canon cause hello modern college au

but yeah he would shower her with kisses like for him this is a mandatory

and yes, he's one secret horny guy 👀

[zalrb]

Something Something Walter Boys 1x01 Review.

I am already crying at the delivery of this dialogue. What have I gotten myself into?

"This is so awesome, I can't believe you pulled it off" literally people are just dancing. What exactly is amazing about this?

I know that a Gen Z somewhere can deliver dialogue without it being stilted. I know they exist.

If Jackie is SO good at this, she should be walking around and talking with her friend instead standing in one spot the entire time. Jesus Christ, be Caroline. Be Marissa.

"Oh my god, this is going to be the best night ever!" I mean, is it?

Oh, Donna, I already know you deserve better.

Btw, 9 times out of 10, I will probably call Catherine Donna because she's Donna.

Those eyes make me feel unsafe in my own home. I'm not even sure who this boy is even though he was just introduced.

They're trying to make this house seem chaotic and it's one boy on a skateboard. A contained swordfighting scene and a dog in a pool.

Jackie is cute and it's all of these ugly to mediocre white boys omg.

LIKE, THEY GAVE AN ENTRANCE FOR THIS?

No no no no no no no, if it's not this

I DON'T WANT IT

"Don't worry about it, New York". They couldn't come up with something better?

Why wouldn't they clear the bedroom of Donna's art supplies ?

"She has to learn how to take a bit of rough and tumble, she'll never survive here otherwise" your lives seem pretty cush, it's not like you're all working on the orchard or doing chores or doing any sort of work/labour to help out on the land when she arrives. You're swimming in a pool.

Well, she's moving her entire life here of course she has a lot of stuff?? This is supposed to indicate that she's sheltered or spoiled or something but she's literally uprooting her life. That comes with boxes.

I AM SO SORRY ABOUT ALBERT. He sprayed her with water, he didn't jump on her or anything.

Donna is actually acting and is natural and just commands the space and everyone else is stilted af.

This exposition dump is KILLING me.

"the rough and tumble"

Ah yes, taking the obligatory apple for breakfast instead of eating a meal.

The only reason why I'm going to remember Cole's name is because his hair fills me with rage.

I'm trying hard to be sympathetic to Jackie because you know her family died and she's in a new city and in a new school but please get out of the damn car. You're moving SLOW. Have anxiety about not knowing where your classes are while you're walking to the school entrance.

"Not like them fancy Manhattan schools, huh?" I mean, even Spence looks like this

it's a building. Relax.

everything about this person infuriates me. this looks like a HORRIBLE kiss

also, wouldn't you go to the office to get your schedule? Do Colorado schools not have offices because they just can't keep up with New York?

"can you stand up and tell us something about yourself?" I have never experienced anything like that when a new student came to class when I was in high school. It was just a "this is xyz. take a seat." and then we moved on.

And wouldn't teachers be briefed on the fact that her family died in an accident beforehand? O for 2, Colorado.

Is that Alex? I'm not entirely sure he's human.

I'm also partially convinced Cole is actually AI.

We never actually got letter grades outside of elementary school.

This is a horrible guidance counsellor. Get her more challenging classes if she wants them. She has a goal to get into Princeton, don't just be like "that's a tough school to get into" if you want to introduce backups to her, you can be like there are lots of other great schools to add to your roster.

"My last school was very supportive of my goals" and the guidance counsellor wants to talk about how she stopped seeing her friends, which fine, you want to make sure she's coping and emotionally stable and has a well-rounded life but don't dismiss this girl's academic goals, jesus christ.

"This is a good school" then put her in some AP classes, what the HELL?

Oh, they don't have many for her year. Well.

"Princeton will understand." NO THEY WON'T. BITCH, YOU'RE A GUIDANCE COUNSELLOR?

LMAO, sorry, I think I'm having flashbacks to my own high school experience where I had to fight to be taken seriously about my average and wanting to get into top schools in Canada and with particular teachers telling me to settle.

I had to look up how old the actor who plays Cole is because I was like, sir, you are like 27 year old man pretending to be 10 years younger and it's not working for you. You can't pull it off. (He's 25).

He's supposed to be using his pretty privilege to cut the line but he isn't pretty so I'm just confused.

And he isn't charming.

"Do you like her?" She has been there for literally a day.

So, are we just not going to talk about racism? In Colorado?

a) who runs into class like that? b) "Hey, Sky, you know that new girl who was sitting with Cole?" "Yeah, she's right beside you." That's all you needed to say. This is SO contrived. I'm DYING.

Kylie, Jackie, Skyler jesus christ. This sounds like a wattpad story.

"Jackie's landed in boy heaven" Girl, you need to get out more.

I will also remember Grace's name because I want to murder her.

Oh God no, she talks and I can't do it. Shut UP.

"Miss J Crew." "Um, it's Ralph Lauren??" could've been funny if any of these people could act.

I also like how Cole's not-girlfriend is talking about how vanilla Jackie's clothes are and she's dressed in the most basic bitch outfit.

"I'm not buying this little Orphan Annie act" ... I mean her entire family did die though, do you think she faked that?

Also, Jackie embarrassing whatsherface means nothing when it isn't in front of other people that matter to whatsherface. This should be in front of all of whatsherface's friends including Cole. This is just basic teen drama logic.

Grace opens her mouth --

me:

I'm not sure why I didn't number these.

This is a pretty lax ranch or orchard or whatever.

Her hair is distracting

"Any other dangerous animals I should know about?" I mean, I don't think they would have a venomous snake just roaming about.

Cole is not charismatic enough for this.

oh my god, the boy who grew up around horses knows how to take care of horses, he's SO sweet. jesus christ.

AND SHE PET THE HORSE AND CALLED THE HORSE BEAUTIFUL SO HE'S LOOKING AT HER LIKE SHE'S BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE NO OTHER GIRL IN THE HISTORY OF HIS EXISTENCE EVER PET A HORSE.

Oh thank god it's over.

[animehouse-moe]

Heavenly Delusion Episode 10 Part 1: The Walled City

God, where to even start? I mean, really, when it's always perfect and outstanding and you want to talk about every scene, where can you start? Of course, there's loads of info in regards to theories and the story, but at the same time, as a manga reader I'm just absolutely obsessed with the level of polish and execution that this adaptation is on. Though, I guess it's better to get started somewhere than to waffle on where to begin.

⚠️Note: This is only the first half of the episode, as there's so much to talk about and so much to share, I've hit the image limit before finishing the post. If you're looking for part 2 of this episode, you can find it right here.⚠️

I absolutely love the anime original cold open they use for this episode. It's similar to what we experience in the manga, but it shares almost no similar scenes. It's an incredibly bold change for that matter, but I love the flow that they provide with the anime's rendition of the journey to Ibaraki.

And I think the first thing to stand out is the character designs.

The proportions are different from usual, the placement and overall design of features differs ever so slightly. And I love it. I love how well it works with how malleable the characters are in this episode. It sets the tone right from the opening, and lets viewers know what they're in for. How wide the episode is in terms of expression and acting and art styles and animation.

Similarly, the use of reflections and mirrors and such finds its beginnings early on as well, as Juichi is largely seen only partially through his reflection in the car's rear view mirror. It's a really nice touch, and I love how they use it in concert with the overall focus on allowing character in frame during conversation without making them easy to see constantly. It really adds to the feel of the world as we view it more passively, and even through a first person perspective in this episode.

In terms of just pretty looking stuff though, I love this set distance framing they use on the car during the drive to Ibaraki. It just looks so pretty, and is a really nice change versus the static interior of the car.

Also, during this night sequence, we get our first exposure to the first person perspective that appears sparingly throughout the episode. I love FPP, but I do also think that it's better used in moderation, and with specific purposes in mind. Heavenly Delusion seems well aware of that as a fact.

This driving sequence really just establishes a world of directive style. Within it we also get our first instances of the slideshow approach, which I think is really interesting because of one little choice. You can't tell because of the gif, but the framing/scale of the slideshow is actually smaller than the full frame. Similar to how widescreen ratios will crate black bars on the top and bottom of a screen, this sequence has a thick border of black space around it as well, making it smaller. I think it's a really great piece that helps separate these flashbacks from the other uses of this technique during the present time of the episodes.

Finally though, as it turns to day, we begin to further explore the fluidity and creativity of the character designs and acting. It's pretty incredible, really. They use comedy to establish how malleable the designs are, and then play with the serious designs little by little. It's not "off-model" like you might hear people saying all the time about something like Hells Paradise. No, this is an explicit creative decision to play into a desired style for the episode. And I think it's flat out amazing. They're simple character designs to start with! They're close to a blank canvas, they're meant to be played with.

In particular I really enjoy this first one for how interesting Juichi's design is here. His head is entirely disproportionate to his hand, which I thought was an interesting decision.

Anyways, here's girl Maru.

But yeah, this whole sequence is just really great at bending the characters to the will of their designers and animators, and you can really feel the differences in energy and approach from cut to cut. It's really impressive patchwork that comes together under a single creative vision. It doesn't feel choppy or out of place, but rather loose and very smooth.

Now, back to Juichi. I absolutely love how they approach his character through this episode. His story is explicitly flashbacks, and remain largely grayscale aside from the color red. It's a nod to his charm that denoted his brotherhood when he was in the facility. Alongside that grayscale though, we only see the front of Juichi during these flashbacks. We never looking at him from behind, but rather in front. And this scene illustrates that reasoning perfectly. He's returning to that hell of a life, and reliving those experiences as he retraces his steps. It's a very simple thing, but I love the detail and emotion it gives them.

Finally, we get to visit this 'walled city' with Kiruko and Maru, and as you'd expect they keep that feeling of voyeurism throughout thanks to spacious shots that focus on the character's movement through the scene. Speaking of that, I absolutely love this specific technique in today's episode: the panning shot through the environment that follows Kiruko. Incredible simple, but it adds to that sense of watching Kiruko wander through the abandoned building.

Right about now is when I'm bemoaning the image limit on Tumblr. There's a lovely scene of Maru being reflected in a puddle of water, which is exactly what I was talking about earlier on in this post as they use reflections and mirrors quite frequently to present characters to us in a way that doesn't feel manufactured for the express purpose of exposition.

Right here though is where things get amazing. A Hiruko sets its sights upon Kiruko and Maru, with the ability to freeze things. It gets dire real fast, but that's not really what I'm after here. It's the art style. The whole thing changes to reflect the freezing temperature brought on by the Hiruko. Colors change, the line art shifts, even the character designs are different. It's incredible, and I absolutely love it. Similarly, there's a cut of a closeup of Kiruko's eye as she looks around desperately for the Hiruko, and I think it's an outstanding piece (we also get more first person perspective here to mirror the closeup). The whole sequence tightens the focus on specific parts of Kiruko, as they're the only pieces that can move through that frigid cold. Expertly done, and provides a great sense of tension as well.

And then after the Hiruko skitters away, we get treated to another art style that focuses on the warmth and light that returns after the freezing temperatures dissipate. Just incredible stuff.

Also, these anime original scenes are really good at providing more information and context to viewers. Very simple pieces, but add a lot of information for connecting the dots through them.

As Kiruko and Maru turn the tables and hunt down the Kiruko though, we get another incredible first person shot of Kiruko walking down a hallway. You know it's CGI, but you refuse to believe it. The details, the compositing, it looks far too good when static (and even in motion) to truly be CGI.

Of course, the tension remains high through this sequence thanks to the slow draw forward, and a dolly zoom on Hiruko in the following scene. This series just has an incredible grasp on tension and horror, as it doesn't rely on jumpscares, but rather rising tension and discomfort through lack of sight. We hardly see the Hiruko through this sequence, but nonetheless we feel its presence, we understand that exists, lurking behind that corner.

And it comes to a head in such a kickass way. Remember what I said about the slideshows and how they differ based on black space in the frame? We get a full one here and it's incredible. Rather than focusing on providing some form of character acting through it, it's all about posing and incredible fidelity through the sequence. I love the aggression that's conveyed through the camera angle and the FOV. It perfectly depicts Kiruko's resolve, confidence, and aggression as she meets the Hiruko head on. And the black frames between? The icing on the cake, really. It further builds that tension, as it accentuates the pause between each frame.

And to finish off this half of the episode, we've got another incredible panning shot that actually follows Kiruko this time. Incredible effort, and the expertise to pull it off while looking so smooth is unfathomable.

So, the end of the first half of the episode. If I could, I would break down every last frame of it. Kai Ikarashi's storyboarding is just incredible, and the direction to match that is wonderful. It speaks to their time at Trigger, as we receive unparalleled fluidity in character designs and acting, alongside very stylized FOV and camera angles, but they're able to bring it perfectly under Hirotaka's incredible vision for the series.

If you're looking for the second post, just click on this link to get redirected to it.

[breedaboyd]

20 Questions for Writers

I was told by my friend, @the-broken-quill, to do this meme. So here it is. There's a lot to get through so let's get going. And I'll stick it under a cut so people can skip past if they want.

But first, have an aesthetic Donnie gif. Courtesy of me.

How many works do you have on AO3?

As of today, I have 220. Phew.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

Oh, God, I'm scared to look... 1,515,823 words. Yikes. I wonder how many of those are 'cock'.

3. What fandoms do your write for?

Hmm... Kind of anything and everything. If you look on my fandom list, there are 187. But, at the moment, I'm mainly writing for the Sandman, Indiana Jones and other fandoms that involve Boyd Holbrook.

4. What're your top 5 fics by kudos?

Those would be: 'Keeping Up with the Madrigals' ✑ 1,606. 'Dead by Moonlight' ✑ 408. 'Various Spiderman One-Shots' ✑ 358. 'Finish Him!!' ✑ 321. 'Mirror, Mirror' ✑ 314.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to but sometimes if they're just like 'nice', there's only so many times you can respond to it. 😅😅 I try my best to though. Had a couple of people wanting to collab/commission me and on both counts they've been very weird and predatory (not you, ZEBS) so like stay safe out there, guys.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm a purveyor of smut, see, not angst but...I do like a twist ending. 'Start Fresh. Begin Again.' has angst all the way throughout but a more positive ending?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I try to end on a high-note so most smut fics have happy endings. Maybe 'Second Chances'? It's not a smut fic, it's just all about recovery and a little bit of falling for one another. It's very, very fluffy because Pinky deserves it.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Sometimes. I've had to leave a couple fanbases because of this. *Cough, cough* Walten Files.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oomph. Pick your poison, bud. We got vanilla stuff, oral, anal, breeding kink, toy stuff, public stuff, lactation, face-fucking, magic stuff, anatomically impossible stuff... The list literally goes on forever.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not really a big crossover person because I feel like that would require a lot of world building but ZEBS and I have done a Mortal Kombat/Evil Dead crossover RP.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of? Why would you?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I believe so but I can't remember which one...

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yepski! My friend, ZEBS, and I have written quite a bit together. I've also done a little bit with an old friend, Brana, but the bulk of it is me and ZEBS.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

They're all OCs but Corinthian/Alistair, Klaber/Wolf and Cap/Theo. I've put so much time into developing them. I love them so much.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There are waaaay too many WIPs that get started and then get left behind. Go through my works and drink every time you see a work where I was too optimistic with the chapter count. You will die.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Smut, of course. Specifically, dirty talk?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

World-building and scene-setting. I'm really impatient and enjoy getting right down to business.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Obviously, I'm in favour. Wolff speaks in German and Hungarian and I frequently have to put translations in the end notes. I think it adds a little depth of character if it makes sense for said character but, if you're just doing it for the fuck of it, I feel like it takes you out of the scene.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

That would be Dorian Grey, particularly the 2009 film.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Maybe not my favourite and maybe not one, single fic because it's all different fics smushed into one but I'm really proud of myself for Boydtober this year (I'm currently putting it out day by day). I've tried to complete Kinktober 4 different times and every time I've given up and gotten down about it. This year! I've prepared and completed it and it's 120k+! I'm so excited to share it with everyone!

Whew! That was a lot. Now I'm supposed to tag a bunch of people but, honestly, I don't know that many. I'll tag @the-broken-quill but then, if you see this and you wanna do it, do it.

I'm gonna peace out with my favourite gif of my favourite cowboy.

Lookit that smile! 😘😘

[binary-not-found]

Episode 2 season 2 🥰

How are you? I had a very good day, I hope you are having a good day (or night depending on where you are) let's get going 🧚🏻‍♀️

I watched this scene about a hundred times in the days before the episode came out

Kate's face besides clearly looking worried, she looks like she's about to cry

That deep exhale suggests she's been thinking for days about what she wants to say and how she wants to say it, but hasn't found the way or the moment

And then she just says it, we know from the previous season that one of her main concerns was that people at work might see them together, and if we paid attention we know that wasn't the only thing she was worried about (I'll go into detail later) but it's clear that her telling her boss about Lucy is something big and important

The "say something" and Lucy's reaction are just a consequence of everything Kate had in her head at the time and the fact that Lucy was really just talking about going for coffee, I've been thinking a lot during the week that Lucy's reaction is genuine surprise, implying that Kate hadn't expressed to her the idea she had of maybe telling her boss, as I was saying it's something important and Lucy knows this, so it catches her off guard that Kate would say it out of the blue

Once Kate explains about the FBI barbecue Lucy's mood changes and we see her smiling and getting excited about the situation - I can't help but notice how cute I still find it that Kate can't keep her hands still when she explains something really fast - Lucy of course notices that her enthusiasm didn't help to take away Kate's worry, and here's the thing

Why does it seem like you're worried?

He could take me off as NCIS liaison

He wouldn't do that would he?

It seems to me (very personal opinion) Lucy was never fully aware of what could happen if they started a relationship and didn't report it when Kate was still part of DIA, Kate says it "if he felt there was a conflict of interest" she used to work in an agency in charge of a lot more information much more confidential than she does now, Lucy's change of expression tells me (again it's what I personally see) that even now, she thought it was just a matter of how Kate felt emotionally and not in terms of the job and the consequences their relationship could bring

However, what she does is reassure Kate that everything will be okay, even if she herself is freaking out thinking about the possibilities, and just look at the way Kate breathes and calms down a little just knowing that Lucy is there for her

That pause they take after the little kiss to look at each other and just reassure one another that it's okay, and that they're okay, is all that's good in this world, it's less than a two minute scene, but it's important, it shows again that they're communicating, that they're trying to make everything really be okay and that whatever happens, they're there for each other 💖

I just realized that you can now add more than 10 pics per post but I planned my posts per scene, so I'll do it that way 🚴🏻‍♂️

1/3 episode 2🐉

[themightyaliendwarf]

First thoughts on the Interview with a Vampire series

It's going to be a long one, so get ready.

From the moment I heard about the details of this project, I was sceptical. After all, to change Louis from a late XVIII century plantation owner to a black man and the owner of brothel houses living in the early XIX century is quite a jump. However, we've seen bigger changes being done and sometimes not only would they not make the story worse, but even go as far as make it better (I find Forrest Gump to be a perfect example). So, how did it go here?

Well... I'm confused.

Which isn't a bad thing in itself! I'd say I enjoyed this first episode, but it certainly felt more like fanfic rather than an adaptation.

If you have read the book you know it has one significant feature: it's melancholic. Rice wrote it after she lost her daughter and each page is filled with incredible grief that is so characteristic of Louis's story. On the other hand, the second book - Vampire Lestat - while still similar in style, it's definitely a lot lighter. I strongly believe showrunners decided to combine those two books and that's why it seems the style is a bit confused at times. After all, how much grief can you put in and still feel genuine if you want your flamboyant Lestat to be Lestat, do Lestat things and steal the show?

Because I don't think you can quite do it. Even the movie from 1994, despite being a very good adaptation, is significantly less painful than the book.

And they actually have Claudia being played by an incredible child actress!

But let's talk about the series. I think they wanted this show to be connected to the book and have Lestat. I doubt Louis as Louis was their priority. Yes, of course, his family story is actually pretty similar to the book... but obviously they decided to add racism to his long list of things he can whine about (for the record, yes, I do think book Louis is rather whiny). While I do think it provides something new to the story (I also think Jacob Anderson is doing a very good job and is giving us something different from what Brad Pitt did), I don't think it improves the story. I love the 1910' aesthetic and jazz, but is it something I want from Interview with a Vampire? Not really. However, if you are able to fully separate it from the novel and the 1994 book and treat it as its own thing, I think you will enjoy it a lot.

Ok, but I can't finish this post without talking about Lestat. I told my friend that this series can be shit, but if Lestat is done well, it's at least a 7/10. And you know what?

Of course, Lestat is amazing.

Again, Sam Reid is giving us something different from Tom Cruise (this Lestat actually speaks French!). I like how they are taking elements from Vampire Lestat - tho, for now mostly in the form of Lestat talking about his family - and that this fabulous bloodsucker is as much of a dandy and asshole as I want him to be.

I mean, the scene of Louis' brother's funeral when Lestat straight up tells him "Nice coffin. Where did you buy it?" is kinda hilarious.

Reid has a very strong screen presence and he absolutely steals every shot. Not gonna lie, I want this show to go for another season purely to see him as a 1980's rockstar Lestat.

I think most people know how important the 1994 movie was for the LGBT+ community. I mean, clearly, gay (or bi) vampires are being played by 3 known actors? That's not something you see every day in the 90s'. A clear difference between the movie and this series is that they are a lot hornier. I don't think we've seen an on-screen kiss in 1994 (I don't think you even have them in the book). Louis doesn't want to give the reader juicy details - you need to wait for Vampire Lestat to read how everybody was Lestat's boyfriend.

This series is not subtle at all with the romantic tension.

So, would I recommend it? The first episode was pretty good. I expect to be disappointed by Claudia's story, tho. Overall, if you can easily separate this series from the original novel, I think you will enjoy it.

[deleteddewewted]

Incel! Shinsou x F!Reader Part 3 (1/2):

This time we’re focusing on a small scene before the Sports Festival and majority on the actual Festivals events (Mainly the fight between Midoriya and Shinsou). So strap in and buckle up cause this one’s going to be loooong. Due to the limit of images being 10, I've decided to separate Part 3 in 2 sections.

Please feel free to send in ideas for future parts and also expand the prompt to how ever you see fit. I love seeing what others can do and I also don’t care if you take this series and change things because it’s open to interpretation. So again, feel free to send in any thoughts/ideas you have! We also now have a collaborative playlist that you can add any songs that remind you of Incel!Shinsou, so please feel free to add songs!

"You're falling hard, I push away, I'm feeling hot to the touch. You say you miss me the most, I say I miss you so much. But something keeps me really quiet, I'm alive I'm a lush. Your love, your love, your love." - (West Coast by Missio)

Part 2: Incel! Shinsou x F!Reader

Part 3: Incel!Shinsou x F!Reader (2/2)

Incel!Shinsou Headcanons

Incel!Shinsou Oneshot: "Why are you acting like that?”

Virgin! Shinsou

The Sports Festival is finally here and Shinsou has his eyes set on one person. You’ve been avoiding him all day, from the moment you got on campus you’ve made sure to avoid crossing paths with him by getting to campus early and taking different routes to get to class. Everyone was putting away their backpacks and other things that they weren’t allowed to bring out to the “Colosseum”. Why a school with a focus on STEM and Art has a Colosseum is up for questioning but that isn’t his main concern. You are.

He had your number but he didn’t call or text to it. It didn’t feel right to apologize to you through that manner so the Sports Festival was the better option for a few reasons. 1) The ability to actually interact with you in person (He is incredibly starved for your attention), 2) He needs to ACTUALLY apologize. The things he did and said about you were so damaging and disgusting he’s honestly surprised you didn’t tell anyone or had him kicked out already. Lastly, he wanted to use the Sports Festival to physically and mentally show maturity. Words only go so far, he knows this when it comes to performing he can’t just rely on his voice to carry the scene. He needed action and emotion. He needed to show you that he genuinely has changed for the better and that he is slowly getting to a better place.

“Hey Shinsou, want to walk out together?” Togeike and Agoyamato walked up to him.

"Uhh, can you two give me a moment....I need to check up on something."

"She'll show up when we enter, she doesn't want to be around you right now." Togeike's expression hardened. Even though she didn't hold a strong relationship with either one of you, she still spoke to you on a semi regular bases, more frequently then she speaks to Shinsou at least.

"Oh..." Shinsou knows this already but he cant stop the feeling that spreads itself inside his chest. You didn't want to be around him. He destroyed the one thing that was positive about his life.

The entire first year General Studies Course started walking in the direction of the Colosseum, they noticed a group of people standing outside of class 1-A Homeroom Art Course doors.

"What do you think is happening?" Agoyamato asks.

"Don't know, don't really care." Shinsou doesn't really give the Art Course homeroom any attention, mainly out of the still burning jealousy within him. Yet, when he glanced over too were the others where staring at, he saw something that made his heart both thump and drop.

You. You were there and smiling....but not with him. You were smiling with the Art Course homeroom students, specifically at something that Bakugo, the blonde Pomeranian with anger issues, had said. Covering your mouth with a hand to not show your smile that had formed. Shinsou wasn't having it. He didn't like it. That you were laughing because of something someone else had done, someone that wasn't him. Before his mind could catch up, he was already walking towards the crowd. "This cant happen, i need to-"

"I came to see what the famous Class A was like, but you seem pretty arrogant. Are all the students in the Art Course like this?" Shinsou couldn't stop the flow of words that came out, he needs to get your attention someway and somehow. This was the prefect way to start off on, making himself the villain just like every single one the characters he's played.

Bakugo never thought he'd meet someone so stupid that would talk back to him, but especially not the same guy who disrespected you to a group of strangers. (Bakugo knew what happened because he found you crying on his walk home. After his experiences in High School, Bakugo learned that no matter how talented of an actor he was, he was never going to go anywhere if he didn't consider other peoples emotions and experiences. He sat down with you and asked you what was wrong. You only told him that someone that you were close to used you and took advantage of you.) From that point Bakugo figured out on his own who it was, so if Shinsou wanted to act a fool Bakugo was going to give him exactly what he wanted.

"Seeing something like this makes me disillusioned. There are quite a few people who enrolled in general studies or other courses because they didn’t make it into the Art Course. Did you know that?" Shinsou doesn't care at this point. He's looking at a rival not a future classmate. Bakugo attempts to speak but Shinsou cuts him off.

"The school has left those of us a chance. Depending on the results of the Sports Festival, they’ll consider our transfer to the Art Course....and it seems they may also transfer people out." He's ignoring Bakugo, his eyes are focused on you. You didn't look at his direction but at Bakugo, still, you were paying attention to what he was saying and that was enough for him.

"Everyone else is here just scouting out the enemy. I, at least, came to say that even if you’re in the Art Course, if you get too carried away, I’ll sweep your feet out from under you. I came with a declaration of war." That got your attention. You looked away from the blond and stared at Shinsou, eyes filled with shock and mild anger. Good, that was good enough for him. He was used to people looking at him like the bad guy, like the ones he's played. He was fine with you seeing him like that after he betrayed your trust, he was fine as long as you acknowledged him. It didn't matter in what way.

Bakugo completely ignored him. He wasn't about to give the time of day to some asshole who hurt his friend (yes, he did grow a heart and considered you a friend.) That didn't mean he wasn't about to have the last laugh. He walked closer to Shinsou and glanced past him with a cruel smirk.

"I know what you're doing and i also know what you did." Bakugo turns his head slightly to face Shinsou, "You're fucking stupid if you think that i'm going to let you get close to y/n...so don't you fucking try, extra. Or else." Bakugo wasn't going to let some fuck come into your life again just to hurt you. From the screenshots and comments you showed him, he can see clearly what type of person Shinsou is. He was dangerous back in High School, a great actor with an amazing future, but now he was a threat in a more significant way. It wasn't his place to tell, but he was defiantly going to try to make the others get on board with keeping you two away from each other.

Shinsou wasn't by any means peek physicality but he did do stretches and went on a run every other day to keep his waist line in place. Even so he was ready to do what he was told to do in order to get your attention. The entire first year General Studies Course was announced and walked out into the middle of the Colosseum. He couldn't see you anywhere, he was all the way in the front in of placement which was dependent on grades, but he couldn't see you. You had high scores on all of your classes, so where were you? The General Course was already out of the tunnel so there was no point in searching for you, Shinsou had to make appearances for the rest of world. He was a promising actor after all.

"What do you think they'll make us do?" You asked one of your classmates. Your voice alone was breathtaking to the point that Shinsou's heart did a small leap. He turns to look at you trying to catch your eyes again. Youre looking forward but you dont catch his eyes, you know he's watching you yet you dont try to engage. It was better this way, at least thats what your mind told you. Dejected, Shinsou turns around again and continuous.

"I'll get you to look at me at least once."

Let the Games Begin!

This was going fucking horribly. Shinsou managed to get to the last game of the day and the entire time you've managed to avoid his ass. He even helped you during the first course were you had to cross a large ass lake (Why the fuck UA had an entire forest is also up to anyones guess.) He pushed someone into the lake to get them out of your way and you just ran past him on the rope bridge. How the fuck did you run on a rope bridge? It took him using someone else for balance to even get across it. You ungrateful fucking bi- no, no, he want going to-. He was frustrated, it wasn't fair to insult you when you were doing what felt best for you, he's still figuring out what rational anger was and wasn't.

The last game was coming up, this was it. He was put up against Midoriya, the green haired kid who was too pure for his own good. During High School, Midoriya started off as shy but determined guy, as the years moved forward he grew more confident and it reflected on his acting. Be it that they weren't in the same class anymore, Midoriya was in the same theater company as him. Actually, a lot of the students in 1-A were in the same theater company as Shinsou. Which means that they knew his weakness, especially were his strength physically was at.

"So Midoriya, i guess we're fighting against each other. Youre in 1-A, right?" Before Midoriya responded Ojiro grabbed Midoriya and put his hand over his mouth.

"Not so fast!" Shinsou grinned and walked away from the pair. He was trying to play mind games, trying to get information out of Midoriya to see what he can use against him in their "fight". It wasn't really a fight but they had to try to push each other out of the boundaries of the space they where given. Didn't matter what they did, just as long as they could get one of them out of bounds it was fine. He couldn't wait.

He was the first round "fighter", so he took the break as a way to prepare. Everything else he did today wasn't enough to get your attention, so this defiantly would. Every student had to sit and watch the fights that took place, since you were disqualified during the cavalry round you had to watch him. He was buzzing with excitement....and nerves. This was for you! Yeah, it could help him get the attention of the principal and the Art Courses department head, but that was just the excuse he used in front of everyone. In reality this was all for your attention so he had to make the most out of this final game.

Shinsou was ready, Midoriya was across from him and he had to figure out what his plan of attack would be. Although, Midoriya no longer held his usual good nature aura to him. His eyes where determine, that was dangerous, especially when it comes to Midoriya.

"So you could just give up, huh? In a way, this is a test of how strong your spirit is. If you know what you want your future to hold, you can't worry about what other people think." Shinsou taunted. "That fucker was going on about his pride earlier. But I just think he's an idiot for throwing away his chance like that. It's honestly pathetic that the little bitch walked away." Midoriya doesn't move but he does show his anger and frustration. Shinsou was amazing at using words to convey the character he's playing but to see him use them to mock another classmate left bile in Midoriya's mouth.

"Don't you dare Shin-!"

"You're lucky to have been so blessed, Izuku Midoriya. To have parents that care for you and give you all that you want. I have my own dreams of becoming a great actor. Someone worthwhile in this world." Shinsou smirks, he's won. Midoriya won't do anything. He's guilt tripping him into giving up....and its working. Midoriya hasn't move since he started speaking, but he's lowered his head as if bowing in shame.

Shinsou then turns to look at where General studies is seated at and when he see's you. He realized he fucked up even more. You weren't impressed, you weren't cheering him on, smiling, or anything that may show that you're in lined with him. You were horrified. He didn't impress you, he made you realize that he may have manipulated you during your friendship. There is no going back now though. He can't take back any of this.

He's fucking pissed. He's angry. He's done. He's lost.

"So, lose for me." Midoriya slumps forward even more for a moment. No answer and no movement. Shinsou has won.

So now we're getting serious. I can't wait to see how reader reacts to Shinsou's full fight plus what will come after it.

Tag List: @blossominglark

[lubdubsworld]

物の哀れ ~ ( the sadness of things )

( Note : This is just a personal post for myself. I’m trying to just make a record of how the fic was conceived and all that I experienced, writing this fic ) 

Inspiration :

So, I ran into an article on Japanese words and I was incredibly fascinated by the phrase , Mono no aware or the pathos of things : Basically the sadness of things. It was a very unusual concept to me because it could be interpreted in so many ways. 

A little bit of digging around made me realize that some people linked it to the cherry blossom season where the flowers come into full bloom and add such a delicate beauty to the landscape. But of course, being seasonal, the beauty lasts for a very small time. The flowers die and their life ends . 

its fleeting and passes by quite soon.  So the sadness of things is basically how, the fact that something is fleeting or seasonal or about to end, should not take away from our enjoyment of things. Because yes the cherry blossoms die but people still flock to watch the cherry blossoms. 

The phrase came to me at a very troubled time in my life. 

My mother’s sister passed and she had raised me for a few years. I loved her deeply and she was only a couple of years older than my mother. Death was a thing that I had always viewed in abstract. The loss of a loved one was not something I had experienced on a very personal level, so it shook me.

 And of course, being the person I am , I did what I always do when I get overwhelmed : Research. 

I combed through reddit forums on grief, through blogs written by people who had lost loved ones , through blogs by psychotherapists, through online websites offering grief counselling and everything I could think of.

What fascinated me were two things :

 1. ) The non linear nature of healing ~ the stages of grief is a myth. Nobody goes through stages of emotional turmoil and then magically becomes better. 

By the way the whole stages of grief was formulated with reference to a terminally ill person coming to terms with their own death .

 So, it couldn’t really be applied to people dealing with the loss of a loved one. At least not directly.

And the second, one, 

2.) The very personal nature of grief ~ depending on how the relationship with the lost one is, grief varies. I realized then that only someone who had lost a loved one would know what its like. No one else could ever possibly understand the grief and pain that comes from loss.

As Heejin says in the sadness of things,” I would never know what his loss was like, because I would never know what he lost.” 

 It gave me a whole new perspective on how grief at the end of the day has to be a personal journey of healing , one that no one else can help you through. You need to live and hurt through every excruciating second of it. 

 There’s still so much I want to say about this but I’ll stop here. I’ll probably add to this as days go by. But yes, this wasn’t a fic that i wrote on a whim. It was something of a research project for me. An exploration of grief and healing. 

Thank you for joining me in this journey. It was definitely one of the most fulfilling ones I’ve ever had. 

  The Story :~

You can read it here :

⋆⋆✵ 物の哀れ ( ‘the sadness of things’.)  ✵⋆⋆

Chapter 1  ⋆  Chapter 2  ⋆  Chapter 3  ⋆  Chapter 4  ⋆  Chapter 5  ⋆

Chapter 6  ⋆ Chapter 7   ⋆  Chapter 8.  ⋆ Chapter 9.    Chapter 10.

Extra Drabble

Completed.

Alpha! Jungkook x Omega ! OC.

ABO Dynamics.

Genre : Arranged Marriage / Temporary contractual Marriage.

Warnings : Non- Con/ Extremely Dubious Consent . High functioning alcoholism. Genre related consent issues. Implied suicidal thoughts.

Summary : A recently widowed Jungkook agrees to a contract marriage to keep his company afloat. His grief overwhelms him and it is hard to look at his new wife as anything other than an intruder .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The characters :

Oh, boy. 

 I could go on about these two for years. 

 Jungkook and Heejin. 

Let me start with Jungkook : 

Jungkook in the fic came to me as a very troubled young man. In the fic he starts off as a very depressed young man. The opening scene of him staring listlessly into a bowl of cereal while his friends talk to him and Heejin just watches if from my own experience with depression in 2017. 

I would be numb in my body and mind with no idea what was going on around me and it seemed like everyone made all the choices for me while i just flowed along. It was a battle getting up in the morning. I had nothing to look forward to. Nothing to hope for. 

So Jungkook , depressed and confused and reeling from loss is our hero. 

Our main man. 

The one I wanted you guys to root for. 

The one I wanted you guys to see yourself in, in those moments when your pain and trauma changes you. 

When you’ve always been a soft spoken, kind hearted person but suddenly the pain overwhelms you and you just want to scream the place down. You want to hurt and hurt and hurt because you’re hurting and you don’t know how to process it. 

Jungkook’s journey is fraught with pain, endured and inflicted . He loses himself and his identity. 

He’s a CEO, a father and a husband and he can’t be any of those things, because of his grief. So there it was the three things I wanted him to find and love and enjoy by the end of the fic  :

His career doing something he loves :

Fatherhood raising the daughter he was blessed with : our lovely mina who I modeled on my own daughter ( and loved just as much ) 

and finally,

 A Love that was unconditional and beautiful. That maybe new and different from what he had lost in his wife but just as, if not more fulfilling. 

And so I stumbled into the woman who forever changed the way I perceived myself : Lee Heejin. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Writing Heejin in this fic is so cathartic for me.

For years, I’ve been her. The voice of reason, the one to compromise. I would be the one every single person in the family would call , anytime anything went wrong.

Kind. Smart. She’ll know what to do.  She’ll never say no. She’s always laughing. So witty. She’s so funny.

The phrases just blur in my head. I’ve been this emotional punching bag for people for so long. I had a very abusive father and honestly no one was there to listen to me talk about him. If i tried, they would always ask me  what I did to make him behave that way.

So , if you think Heejin is a pushover, that she’s giving too much of herself to people who don’t deserve.....just know that sometimes, saying no and standing your ground is a privilege not everyone can afford. And because I’d been there i understood her.

That isn’t all she is though. She is also someone who  knows that she doesn’t deserve to be treated that way. At no point in the fic does Heejin see Jungkook’s actions as anything other than the abuse it is and for that i will always be proud of her. 

Heejin’s healing is much more complicated. She isn’t really healed at the end of the fic...because to be honest , I’m not healed and I don’t know what its like to be ....But she is on the path to it, and that’s what matters. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

[elgringo300]

I would very much like to see the ttrpg you made.

ok so:

The point is that its a generic setting, poker card-based RPG. No dice or anything but poker cards allowed.

Your character has 4 Primary Attributes and four Social Attributes, one for each suit. The Primary Attributes are Strength, Reflex, Mind, and Magic. The Social Attributes are Intimidation, Persuasion, Insight, and Deception. Each Attribute has a value from -2 to +2.

You start each Scene with a hand of 7 cards. When you want to make a skill check, the GM will come up with a Target Number(TN), something between 3 and 7. To succeed, you must play as many cards as the TN. Cards which match the suit of the appropriate attribute count as two. You add the Attribute's number to the play at the end. Thats the core of the system. You succeed if: (Number of Cards) + (1 for each Attribute suit) + (Attribute Modifier) > TN

Aces don't count as cards, but instead double the value of the rest of the play.

(so if you want to move a boulder, that might be a STR 4 check. You can play one Clubs and two Diamonds, and that adds up to 4. Or you could play one Clubs and one Ace, and the Ace would double the Clubs to make 4.)

A Scene is whatever the GM decides is a Scene. During combat, a Scene lasts for one round. You draw a new hand at the beginning of each scene.

For movement, each player can move three spaces on their turn. You can discard a card from your hand to move three more spaces.

In combat, you can only perform an action on your turn, but you can react as many times as you want, as long as you have cards in your hand.

Instead of health, each player can take four Wounds before entering Borrowed Time. When you're in Borrowed Time, each round you decide whether to stay conscious or not. If you choose stay conscious, draw a card from the deck. If its black, you stay conscious and its fine, but if its red, you take another Wound.

For every Wound you take, the maximum number of cards in your hand is reduced by one. If you take eight Wounds, you die.

Armor takes Wounds for you. Every round, if you aren't adjacent to an enemy, you recover all your Armor Points(AP). Light Armor has one AP, and stupid heavy armor can have 4.

NPC's get a pile of cards called their Stance. Whenever they do anything(attack, defend, whatever) they spend a card from their Stance. Their Stance recovers completely every Round, minus any Wounds they may have taken. If it runs out, they can't do anything. A grunt probably only has a Stance of 2 or 3, but a boss might have 10. Same movement rules as players applies to NPC's.

Also Magic! It gets a whole stat! The way magic works is you have as much mana as your Magic Stat, and you can spend it to do spells and things. Every round, you regenerate all your Mana up to the value of MAG. You can also perform spells that regenerate mana - meaning you can have more mana than your MAG stat at a time. This will hopefully mean players will learn spells more powerful than a character of their level can comfortably cast.

And here's the character sheet if you want:

I also have a modified version to fit my Sky Isles of Venus setting, but that version is much less developed. The most important thing I change is the implementation of a class system with two layers: Class and Heritage - where Class is your typical Class(tank, rogue, etc) and Heritage is the isle you come from, which would flavor your Class with certain unique abilities.

On top of that, I'm not so certain if using a hand of cards fits non-combat situations very well, since those are usually characterized by spontaneity and roleplay improv, instead of strategy. So I might replace the non-combat skill check with a Draw One Card and Compare skill check, which is basically the equivalent of a die roll. Of course, figuring out if that is necessary requires testing, which is something I have not been able to do.

I've been developing this on and off for three years now, I think, and I've pretty much polished it as much as possible without testing, which makes it so much more annoying that nobody I know wants to play it. I tried testing it online, and just didn't enjoy the online TTRPG experience. Maybe I could try it again, but I've pretty much accepted that unless my IRL friend group suddenly has a lot of time on their hands (we're all electrical engineering majors) I'm just not gonna be able to test this for a long time.

[atinydise]

Ateez reacting to their s/o acting sexy, but being cute or unnatural instead

❦ Genre: Fluff, a little bit suggestive.

❦ Pairing: OT8.

❦ Word count: 3K4.

❦ Requested: Yes, thank you! 🦋

HONGJOONG

Your boyfriend went to the supermarket to find some snacks. He was producing since 7AM without a break. When you joined him, you practically begged him for to rest a bit. So now, you were alone in his big studio, wondering if you had been enough clear about the food you wanted. Bored and hungry, you looked around, trying to find at least a chewing-gum to stop your belly from growling crazily. When finally, a red paper sheet, caught your attention. It was not your type to read Hongjoong's stuff, but this one was titillating your curiosity.

When you made sure that you were completely alone, no camera around, you grabbed the paper. The moment, you realized the explicit lyrics on it, you couldn't help but to compare your shy actions with your boyfriend. Does he want you to act like this? But the real question was: could you do it?

When you heard footstep in the hallway, you put back down everything, and ran on the red couch. "I'm back babe." Said Hongjoong, smiling at you, not suspecting you at all. For you, it was a sign. The right moment to act. He would never expect this from you.

"Oh already! I missed you." You replied, biting your lip messily. Hongjoong raised a brow, not understanding what was going on in your head. "I left 10 minutes ago. Only." You stood up, trying to roll your hips as much as you could. "That's already too much." "Are you okay sweetheart? You look... different?" He asked when you back hugged him, pushing your chest right on his back. You roamed your hands on his abs to his belt. "I-I'm trying to make you feel good." The way your voice cracked and how your hands were tickling more than it should, Hongjoong turned around, trying to not laugh. "Y/N. Stop." He held your wrists. "I don't know why you are trying to do but it doesn't feel right." "I saw the lyrics on the red paper sheet." You said, without thinking twice about the consequences. "Oh." He paused. "Oh." He realized when he finally understood the situation. "Do you want me to be sexier with you?" "Babe that's just lyrics. Inspired by movies, music and you of course." He tried to reassure you. "Don't act sexily like this. Don't change anything, you are perfect. And you were cuter than hotter honestly." You could have been offended, but it felt like a compliment. "Okay." You pouted. "Let's eat before I end by being the meal." He teased you. You slapped his shoulder completely flustered. "Stop!" "I'm joking!" He laughed. "And you are sexy the most when you don't try to be." "Can we change the subject?" You rolled your eyes, looking for your meal. "I can't believe you tried to be sexier because of these lyrics." He busted in laughs, once again.

SEONGHWA

You've been a bit confused the last week. Seonghwa invited his friend one night. To not bother them, you stayed in the bedroom most of the time. You didn't complain, watching your favorite movie with Chinese food was all you needed. Just one time, you got out of the room to find something to drink. Before entering the living-room, where your boyfriend and his friends were, you heard one of them asking which type of girls Seonghwa was usually attracted to in high school. "Well... I can't really remember because I was mostly focused on practicing and studying." He replied. "Come on, you can’t remember your old taste?" Insisted one. "Hum... I was into sexy girls at that time. Like these ones who know what they're doing." He winked.

Since then, you couldn't stop to think about it. You were not really what we can say "sexy", just normal or cute most of the time.

Motivated to show Seonghwa what you were capable of, you asked advices to your friends and elaborated a complete plan. "Y/N! I'm here!" Greeted your boyfriend, locking the door behind him. "Oh wow, it smells so good." Seonghwa walked in the kitchen, curious to see what you were cooking. Gently, he pecked your cheek before asking: "Lasagnas? Are we celebrating something?" "I don't know... I just wanted to eat this." You started. "Or I would eat you instead." Seonghwa chocked with his saliva, not expecting you to say something like this. Proud of this reaction, you winked. Even though you tried to act the sexiest possible, it had the opposite effect. When you saw the light smile on his face, you were wondering if you should go to the next level. Not thinking twice, you dipped your finger in the tomato sauce before licking it, suggestively, in front of your boyfriend. "You cute." Whispered Seonghwa, patting the top of your head. "Cute?!" You repeated, confused. "Yeah?" "I was trying to be sexy!" You put your hands on your hips. "Yeah, but the sauce dripping off your chin makes you look cuter than sexy." He smiled, before heading to the bathroom. "Shit." You mumbled, wiping the sauce nervously. "If you act like this because of what I've said 2 weeks ago... stop thinking about it. I was a simple teenager." He yelled from the other room. "So, you are not really into sexy girls?" You yelled back. "No. I'm into you idiot." He replied, before closing the door. You smirked happily. "Well... that's everything I needed to know."

YUNHO

The whole day, you acted suggestively with your boyfriend. He noticed and counted how many times you bit your lip or whispered casual talks right in his ear. Of course, he was affected by your action, he was a simple man. But most of the time, he found you cute. Like right now, you were at the theater and your hand was resting on his thigh the entire time. The only times you were removing it, was when you rushed to plunge your hand on the popcorn pack just to touch his hand. Yunho tried several times to suppress the laugh coming from his throat. He ignored if you were doing this on purpose or just because your period week was coming. "Should we go to our favorite restaurant after the movie?" You suggested, whispering right in his ear, hand on his chest. Yunho glanced at you, trying to perceive the reason of your actions, but nothing, not the usual lust sparkles in your eyes when you are on your period. "Sure, if you are still hungry after this giant pot of popcorn." He smiled. "I'll be. But I have other plans for the dessert." You winked before turning your face to the giant screen. Your boyfriend couldn't leave his eyes from you, wondering where this sudden libido was coming from. After the movie, you walked 15 minutes until the restaurant. Inside of you, you were trying to know how you could prove him that you were the sexiest girl ever. Just before finishing the main meal, you decided to attack again. As he was resuming how went his last week, you slowly passed your foot on his legs, trying to excite him as possible. The only thing you didn't know was that you were kicking him more than anything. Yunho spotted too, the flustered look on your face. You were focusing on your mission. "Babe." A laugh escaped from his lips. "You are hitting me." "Huh?! I'm sorry!" You put your foot down, worried. "It's okay," he giggled. "But what's got into you?" "Oh, so you noticed." You hid your face behind your hands, completely ashamed. "You are really asking me if I noticed that you almost jumped on me as if I was the last hamburger in the fridge?" He held your hand on the table. "I'm just trying to add spiciness to our relationship." You sighed. "We don't need that Y/N. We are all fine and I won't get bored." He tried to reassure you. "Really?" Yunho nodded, trying to comfort you. "Okay then." You smiled. "So... we are all good now?" "Yeah." "Good." He rubbed his thumb on your hand. "But can you remove your foot in the middle of my legs now?" "Oops. Habits." You shrugged.

YEOSANG

You really thought that Wooyoung recommendation was just another action movie. Until the main actress started to make out or act suggestively with everyone, she was close to. Of course, you had no problem with that. It just made you wonder if you could act like this with Yeosang. You were not officially in a relationship, yet, but you were acting like one. At the next hot scene, you glanced at him. His eyes were glued to the TV screen, looking every actress' moves. For sure, he liked what he was watching to. Maybe you should give it a try. You had nothing to lose except your ego. But what if he laughs so much that you become insecure?

Yeosang looked at you weirdly when you slapped your forehead to erase these stupid thoughts. "You... okay?" "Yeah! I just need something to drink." You threw the blanket off and almost ran to the kitchen. You grabbed a bottle of water but didn't find any clean glasses on the cupboard. Was it a sign? You stared at the bottle and guessed if you could do something with. "Did you find water? I think that's all we have left." Said Yeosang.

"It's my time to shine, you thought."

You walked back to the living-room, bottle in the hand. "It's pretty hot here no?" You faced yourself with your free hand before tugging on the collar of your shirt. "I'm okay, but you can open the window, I don't mind." Not adding anything else, you opened the bottle and sipped into it. When you made sure Yeosang was looking, you poured 'accidentally' water on you, especially down on your chest. "The hell Y/N!" Gasped Yeosang, grabbing a pack of tissue. "Argh sorry! I'm so messy." You pouted, grabbing a tissue to wipe your chest. Yeosang stopped on his track. "Am I dreaming, or you are trying to act like her?" He pointed at the TV screen. You rolled your eyes. He was too smart. "I failed right?" "Completely." He smiled. "But nice try, that was cute." "I wasn't trying to be 'cute'." You air quoted, sitting down on the couch. "You need to practice, to be at my level of sexiness." He added proudly. "Shut up Kang Yeosang." "Sure. Cutie." He laughed.

SAN

"Hello bonobos!" You greeted the whole group when you entered the practice-room. "For the 1601st time Y/N-" Started Wooyoung. "We are not bonobos." You said at the same time. "I know Woo. I'm just teasing you because I know you hate that." "San, get your girl before I say something I regret." "Babe stop teasing him or he's going to explode." Giggled San. "That's why it's fun." "What are you doing here by the way? I thought I was the one supposed to come over?" "I wanted to practice a bit. With you." You said removing your jacket. Honestly, you wanted to see how your boyfriend would react if you dance sexily in front of him. To not be too suspicious, you wore a simple sweatpants but choose a really light and short croc-top. "So, what we are practicing today?" You asked, ignoring San's stare on you. "Thanxxx." He replied, brow narrowed. "Okay, let's go." You smiled, completely confident. You positioned on the side, behind the whole group to not bother them. When the music started, you tried your best to exaggerate every facial expression, every move, every body roll to get your boyfriend's attention. You caught him looking at you, times to times, but he didn't say a thing, too professional for that. For the breakdown part, you were freestyling as Hongjoong and Mingi while they are rapping. You tried to match San's facial expression, but it seemed so unnatural for you that you were tripping and wincing messily. The whole scene caused San to bust in laughter. Everybody looked at him. "Sorry." He apologized, hands covering his mouth. "But Y/N, you are too cute behind." You raised a brow. "You are trying so hard to be sexy, but it feels not right." He continued. A bit mad, you rolled your eyes and sat on the chair next to you. Still giggling a bit, San walked to you. "Don't be mad." He kneeled in front of you. "You wanted to surprise me? It's a success." "But I did it wrong." "Don't try to act like someone you are not." He held your hands. "But you do it all the time!" You sighed. "I just wanted to prove you that I can be sexy too." "I was impressed! Your dancing skills are really good now. And with the 'cutie' side, it was the cherry on top." You hide your face on the crock of his neck, "oh please... what a shame."

MINGI

"Candles ok. Music ok. Champagne ok." You checked all the things on your list. You made sure everything was ready for your night with Mingi. One last time, you checked at your reflection on the mirror. You applied a last layer of this red lipstick making sure it made your lips more desirous and kissable. "Y/N! You there?" Shout out your giant boyfriend. "Why is this so dark?" "I'm in the bedroom love!" "Are you sleeping already?" He asked, walking to the room. When he spotted the atmosphere in the bedroom, he stayed quiet. Ignoring how to react. "Is someone dead?" You raised a brow, how he could compare this atmosphere to funerals? "I know how stressed you were this week, so I wanted to help you out." You slid his jacket off him. "Oh my!- Your hands are so cold!" He complained. "Then remove your clothes by yourself and lay on the bed. On the stomach." "What are you planning?" "I'm just trying to help you. Lay down!" "Okay okay." Mingi removed his shirt and laid down on his bed, lazily. At the same time, you were trying to warm up your hands a bit. "And now?" He asked, trying his bed to not fall asleep. "I'm going to give you a massage idiot." You rolled your eyes. Taking a deep breath, you sat on his butt and started to spread oil on his entire back. "Y/N it's cold!" He complained again. "And you are scaring me." "Just stay still!" You replied, trying to not lose your temper. "I'll start." Slowly and gently, you passed your hands on his pale back. But when you pressed his shoulders, he gasped in pain. "You are the worse masseur ever." "Stop moving!" "I can't when you are almost breaking me in half!" "I'm just trying to massage you!" Not thinking twice of your actions, you grabbed the candle next to you. "It might be a little bit hot," you whispered. You delicately poured few drops of wax on Mingi's back. "Does it-" Your boyfriend yelped in pain, beneath you. You fell on the bed when he turned around to remove the hot feeling on his skin. "THE FUCK Y/N! IT BURNS!" "I just saw it on a sexy movie! The man seemed to like it!" You freaked out. "In a sadomasochist movie?!" He shouted, rushing to the bathroom. "I'm so so so sorry!" You rubbed your hands nervously. "You crazy!" "I wanted to surprise you!" "By what? Ripping my skin off?!" Well, seems like your romantic and sexy night was ruined. Don't believe what you see in movies guys.

WOOYOUNG

"Babe, are you sure about that?" Asked Wooyoung, sitting on this chair in the middle of the room. "Yeah!" You replied setting your sexiest playlist. "You never done this before! You don't need to do it now." "If your ex could do it then I can." Wooyoung stayed quiet. He couldn't change your mind anyway. Yeosang accidentally mentioned that he ran to Wooyoung and his ex-girlfriend stripping for him a year ago. You immediately challenged yourself. If she had the nerves to do it, no reason that you don't, right? "Are you ready?" You put your phone down, 'Careless Whisper' playing the background. Wooyoung puffed, not believing your chose this song over a thousand ones, more appropriate. "What?" You mumbled. "Nothing, just go ahead." He tried to go back on his usual poker face. Finally finding the braveness to start, you walked sexily toward Wooyoung. Even though, you tried to look confident, you couldn't make an eye-contact. Your boyfriend noticed your shyness. It caused his heart to melt for you even more than before. You stood up, in front of him, starting to sway your hips from side to side. The moves were pretty good, but it felt unnatural for him. He could see that you were trying your best. Your tongue tugged out of your mouth sometimes, because of the effort. When you judged that it was time for you to remove your shirt, your hands started to shake a little bit on your hips. Wooyoung started to feel a kind of horniness until your top stayed stuck around your head, causing you to tug on the side. Your boyfriend laughed so hard at the scene. His dolphin laugh making you shy and ashamed of your performance. "Can you help me please! One of my earrings is stuck too!" "This is terrible Y/N!" He laughed, putting your top down. "I can do it." "Do it when you'll be ready to." He pecked your cheek. "It's okay. No rush." "Wooyoung sat back on the chair, not breaking the eye contact. "What?" He raised a brow. "I can do it." You repeated, lifting your top once again. He was taken aback by your new tentative, but it didn't fail to make him laugh again. It was really a cute scene to see. "Stop you are being too cute! I can't handle it!" He wiped his eyes, arms around his abs to seduce the slight pain.

JONGHO

Your room was a mess. Clothes spread out on the floor, hanging messily in the wardrobe and few of them were falling off the chair. Why? Because Jongho can't stop mentioning that you are "cute". There's nothing bad about that. It's just that you wanted to be something else than cute.

You tried a ‘nerdy’ look, but it was a complete failure. With those glasses and the bang, he was comparing you to a shy uniform high school girl.

Useless to say that you changed your look the next day. And for what? A ‘tomboy look’. You thought that this one would work, but the beanie and the large cargo pants caused you to look tinier. It was a failure, again. So, these last days, you thought about a sexy look. You felt like this option was finally the one which will succeed. For the occasion, you pickled a black leather skirt and a revealing top. For sure, he will spot your nipples and this white see-through shirt. "Y/N! Have you seen my-" he paused, looking right at you. "phone..." You smiled proudly, satisfied by the expression on his face. "Probably under a pillow in the living-room." You replied as nothing happened. To continue this way, you placed your hair out of your neck. Exposing your skin. His favorite part on your body. "You should look there, instead of standing there, staring at me like a fish looking for water." "Sorry but... I just can't get over the fact that-" he gulped. You smirked, waiting for him to finally admit that you could be something else than 'cute'. "So adorable! He giggled. "Are you kidding me?!" You said, completely done. "How can I be cute this outfit? Especially this skirt! If I bend over, you can clearly see my butt!" "Have you seen how cute your butt is?" He giggled. "Looking cute isn't a bad thing." "But right now, I wanted to look sexy! Like the hotter I've ever been!" You pointed at your chest. Jongho's face softened. He needed to admit that you looked hot with this outfit. But you couldn't help, but to be adorable. It was just how he sees your face every day. "I can't. I just want to pinch your cheek and to drown you by a thousand of kisses." He shrugged. "Okay, I give up." You rolled your eyes, grabbing your pajama on the bed. "Oh please... don't be mad!" He chuckled following you. "Don't talk to me." You said before slamming the bathroom's door, in front of him. "Cutie!" He yelled to tease you. "I hate you!" "I'm kidding." He paused. Before adding, "cutie." "Choi Jongho!"

[the-art-of-animated-gifs]

Interview with my friend A.L. Crego

I have not met A.L. Crego.  I have not spoken with him on the phone, in fact I do not even know what he looks like.  But I can confidently call him my friend.  Three years ago when I started this blog he immediately disagreed with me in the comments about things I was writing and I loved it.  As a person putting ideas out there, you treasure things like that....because you know someone cares.  We have had many back and forth discussions over the years....if we had lived in Paris in 1911 we would be having arguments at La Rotonde (not to compare either of us to Picasso).

A.L. Crego is a motion artist who does a wide variety of things.  He has now become a very visible and active figure in the NFT Movement.  He recently completed a large and very successful project in which he animated the work of a number of well know street artists on the building themselves, something he has done for years.  His Tumblr page is a good place to start to see his work, which is largely surrealist in nature -- another Spanish artist following in the footsteps of other great Spanish surrealist artists.

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How long have you been creating gif art?

In a conscious and intentional way since 2014. Previously I haven't pay too much attention on one hand for its common use that was mostly ads and funny little videos, and on the other hand because it was a 'standard' format we accepted as something part of the web so I never stopped to analyze its potential. The key point for me was about 2010-2011 when the concept of 'Cinemagraph' was brought to life just giving it a name. It's format is .gif but its characteristics are different so I saw there the midpoint between photography and video, which gave born another format of art.

Art mutates when a new format appears. I was using and studying this format since then but it wasn't until 2014 that I decided to publish some of them.

What is your background?

In general terms, bachelor, 2 years of stone sculpting and two attempts of photography and audiovisual mediums. I say attempts because I gave up both of them as I was feeling that I was looking for something else more than studying all the previous history, style and isms, which is nice to understand where everything comes from and to be aware what are the key points on the history to use as reference, as a map. But in some way I felt limited as I was using digital tools since I had my first computer with 14 years, and I was being taught things I learnt by then. Even more in this times we are living where we are 21 century people, been taught by teachers from the 20 with 19 century methods.

A constant line that feeds my background is literature and music overall and later Street Art, next to more temporal interests as everything related with mythology, alchemy, history, psychology, neurology, biology, human condition in general... I don't have studies buy I'm a studying guy!

I always like to highlight that all these years that internet got strong and social networks appeared, I decided voluntary to be out of them. First reason was to keep my privacy safe in a growing world where it seemed that some "curtain" felt and everybody accepted that intimacy was now 'ex-timacy' and correct to show their private life, (this shocked me). Another reason was about the psychological effect that social networks were having on people I had around and everywhere in general. I started to notice patterns and "waves" about series, aesthetics, styles, and I was seeing clearly that if I go there, I will become permeable to all this "Amniotic Culture" I was trying to avoid.

This fact of being far (but study them closely) helped me a lot about researching and developing my own ideas and style, for the mere fact that I was using all this time and attention Social Networks require, on drinking from another sources. The B-side of this is that I was 'out of the radar' of mass people as this social networks are designed to live inside them. My idea of internet and spreading ideas is not in this way.

Where do you live and work?

In the north west of Spain, Galicia. Now due to Covid I travel less but before it, I was working and traveling many places as I only need a camera and a computer. This allows me move to work anywhere.

Do you think that animated gifs are a new art form?

I think so, despite the fact that the format existed since 1987. But as every new format of art it takes its time to be considered as art. The first photographs were not considered art until many years later. Same happened with film, same with CGI. Is nice to have in mind that gif format is the last strictly digital format of the three main ones on the web: picture, video and gif. Photography has about 200 years of history, video about 130, CGI about 60. Finally gif has 33, and used as art itself no more than 10-15. In the same way anybody takes a picture of anything does not convert it into art, is the same with gifs. One thing is the format, another is the 'art'. Everybody can take a picture, record a video or do a gif. The difference is on the how, the why, and from my point of view overall, the what.

Do you think that there is a difference between pure .gif files and the .mp4 files that people post on Instagram?

The first, big and obvious difference is the format. Is not the same a painting as a picture of a painting. Here happens the same. For example, if you treat a gif with Cinemagraph technique, you are converting in picture some parts of the image, so they still remain and with the texture and totally stillness of a picture. If you convert this gif into a mp4 this still parts, despite not having motion, will convert into a video texture (noise, subtle motion in pixels, etc) so the main characteristic, among the perfect loop, is lost. Another point is that you must play a video, a gif is always running. Waterfalls are always running and this characteristic is something that is inside our human nature, we react nice to "bucle" motions as waterfalls, fire, etc. We find pleasure on this. Of course if it's a video the perfect loop is lost and the visual mantra disappear. And another key point here is the soundtrack. In a video you can use sound to enhance or give another meaning to the piece that you can't with gifs. For me this is another characteristic that give meaning to gif. For me gif is silence, the sound is generated by the motion, the melody are the details and the beat the perfect loop. You can "hear" almost every gif.

The difference between a gif and a video is the same that between a waterfall and a hose (if this works).

What do you think are the characteristics of good gif art?

For me first and overall the perfect loop. Not using it is not using the only format that has this characteristics. Of course there can be gif art that is not perfect loop, but from my point of view and in my work is a must. It's a new way not only of creating but also of thinking. Imagine an still scene is easy, imagine an A-B point action is easy. For me the challenge is about thinking an idea that is perfect looped where all the elements interact and eventually come back to its initial point. Succeed doing this is where the perfect loop appears and you are not able to find where is the start point of the action. Like a visual mantra, that it's repetition leads you inside the piece. Gif art is nice to use the power of the hypnotic movements. Another point to have in mind for me is the flow of it, the frame rate I mean. Depending on the idea and the kind of animation this should vary; is not the same fps to achieve something with flow than if you want to achieve a more 'retro' old style. Another thing is about dithering and color palette. This second one is essential to understand as it affects the final file. When we work with photo and video we are using millions of colors but when rendered as gifs all the gradients, lights and even colors will change if there is a previous understood of this point.

As summary: If motion doesn't add, change of enhance the meaning of the piece, is expendable.

I'd would like to add that I'm not really supporter of this kind of gifs generated automatically that just move a still image itself. I understand that this 'technique' is used as a tool for certain motion (I use it) but not to move a whole image. I feel the same as if somebody hold a painting in front of me and moves it randomly. If the work was born still, it must remain still. A good example of 'inner motion', this means that the motion is implicit on the image despite not being in motion, are the photographs of Cartier Bresson for example. Giving motion to this pictures for example, will kill it because it will break the concept of 'perfect instant' .

'Instant' differs etymologically from 'moment' in the motion. So, still image (painting, photo, sculpture, etc) is an instant, videos are stories with a-b point, and gifs are moments, the mid point.

How would you describe your gif art?

I usually condense it as "Visual Mantras", as the technique and the aesthetic vary depending on the idea , but in all of them the perfect loop and the intention of hypnotizing is always present.

In another terms about aesthetics and themes I think ‘Industrial Nature’ can fit nice. I use a lot of industrial elements but I like to mix their mechanics with the biological natural ones.

How long have you been creating and selling NFTs?

I am selling NFTs since mid 2019, but it wasn't until October 2020 that I focused more on it and dug into the ecosystem to find new paths to focus my work.

Do you think that NFTs are a positive for gif artists?

For me, and the main reason I jumped into cryptoart and NFT, is that now I can certify my digital work as original. Even more to gif works as they were always understood as something banal and minor for the context of its born. Gif art was born prostituted, used mostly for ads and to claim our attention on the internet, next to the highest glamour of painting and traditional art, and 3d, photography and video these last decades. Even worst if we realize that gif format was the only visual format born by and for the internet.

NFTs are totally positive for gif artists because despite being a digital/online native format it never had its own ecosystem to live in. I feel that I was creating creatures for an ecosystem I was waiting to drop them there. Now with the blockchain, NFTs and cryptoart, I found the place where they can live, being watched by everybody and have the certify that is my work. Until some months ago my work was "free" on the web and I had no control over it at all. This was a huge problem I was suffering since my first month into gif art as people use it indiscriminately with no credit at all. It's ok, and I always defend that my work is to be seen, to be shared, but I was looking for the way to be able to have this link with my work without losing the option of being available for everybody. NFT totally changes this.

What do you think will happen in the future as NFTs get even more popular?

In general terms I think it will happen the same as when print got more popular. People will use it more, a lot of crazy and useless things will appear, tons more of different uses and useful purposes, (not only on art). This opens a new door a lot of people was waiting so the future is unpredictable but we can feel where things are going. NFT arrived to stay and the concept of decentralization is something that was always present on the internet since first days but born inside a centralized system. NFTs are being a way for people to understand the 'peer to peer' philosophy and this makes people think in different codes, so we can expect a lot of new horizons, in art, music, design...

What do you think of the environmental impact of NFTs?

This question can goes really deep but in general terms I think that is something that is being oversized due to the hype and the boiling point we are, and it's understandable because is not false that it has an environmental impact, as everything does. But on the other hand I have two main areas in mind. The first and the obvious from my point of view is that when something is new and developing is less efficient, in the way that it requires more effort to achieve the result. But at the same time, the more this technology is used the more is developed and all this issues are part of it. The first car was not electric.

The second point that usually reverberates in my mind and that it seems that 'hard critics' omit is that they are not having in mind that this NFTs we mint, give us a profit that can be used offline to do another things that can be useful to solve this problem, for example, investing part of this money on living on our own in a minimal and clean way (not working for huge multinational that their environmental impact is tons times more than NFTs and then being part of an ONG to feel clean) and on using part of this money on looking and researching new ways to mint and to keep this digital ecosystem more efficient and clean. Every development needs time.

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If you have found this content valuable considering getting me a cup of coffee

[theatricallythespian]

Let’s Talk: Is Six Racist?

The answer: Yes, but it’s complicated

Disclaimer: As fans of SIX, this post is not to disrespect or undermine the brilliant people involved in it, but to evaluate and critique SIX in the context of race. Gifs used in the post are made by the lovely @karisoka​ on Tumblr

Note: This was written before Carly Mercedes Dyer was announced as Seymour on 2UKT, however, the fact that it took over three years to cast a non-white woman as Seymour is still embarrasing. Because she is the exception, all points regarding Seymour still stand.

The racial problems with the show largely arise from the casting of the show. There are clear casting trends for each character. These trends derived from each principle actress per character and are as follows:

Aragon: Non-white actress with a medium to dark skin tone

Boleyn: White actress 

Seymour: White actress 

Cleves: Non-white actress with a dark skin tone

Howard: White actress 

Parr: Non-white actress with a light to medium skin tone

These casting trends result in an approximately half-white, half-non-white cast, but looking at the cast of each production, this does not hold up, especially as rehearsal swings and covers are counted. Productions with less than 30% non-white actresses are: Edinburgh, 2UKT, Breakaway, and Bliss 2.0. Productions with 30%-50% non-white actresses are the original Arts production, 1UKT, Bliss 1.0, and Australia. The highest percentage of non-white actresses are in the West End production (10/18) and the US cast (7/10). From this, we can clearly see that higher profile productions have a higher percentage of non-white actresses, whereas less-visible productions like the cruise casts have an extremely low percentage of non-white actresses.

Another instance where less visibility results in a lower percentage of non-white theatre artists are the Ladies in Waiting–9 out of 45 total band members have been non-white (Note: Rebeca Caldera (Bliss) and Julia Subatin (Breakaway) are Argentinan and considered non-white here). The original Arts production, the first UK tour, and the West End production have not had a non-white musician in the band. Even Broadway, with a total of 11 band members for the different tour stops only had one woman of colour total. For a show that touts diversity, these statistics seem extraordinarily low. 

The casting trends may have started out as an innocuous way to pay homage to each queenspiration, the female pop icons who inspired each queen's song and style, and as an attempt to be equitable and cast more women of colour, but these trends are hugely problematic within the context of the show itself, as they create unbalanced racial dynamics and enforce stereotypes within a text that most likely did not intend to create.

One example of the former is Cleves' storyline–being rejected for her looks. While may have been historically true, it is curious when the “ugly” character  is often played by the actress with the deepest skin tone out of the entire cast. In the two exceptions where Cleves was played by a white actor, one is nonbinary and one is a plus-sized woman. Here, ugliness is Black, trans, and fat. The arts cannot be separated from societal context, and given that white beauty standards have an immense influence due to an extensive global history of colonization, this is clearly problematic. In addition to this, there’s one particular scene where Howard makes comments about Cleves’ looks. The original intent was simply to add a #savage quip that aligns with Howard’s character, but given that Howard’s casting trend is skinny white women, the scene becomes rife with uncomfortable racial tension.

In regards to stereotyping, we can talk about how as characters with a white casting trend, Boleyn and Howard can exist beyond being promiscuous characters, or even about how Parr, the empowered woman, is a woman of colour with light skin, but here we'll be focusing on Aragon, Cleves, and Seymour. Aragon and Cleves both exhibit racist stereotypes surrounding Black women, whereas Seymour, who has never been played by non-white principle actress, is seen as the epitome of purity. Please note that this section is based on both the original text and fandom perception of the characters as presented by the text. Of course, the show is not in control of the fandom, as evidenced by problematic fanart, including whitewashing dark-skinned actresses or even depicting a white actress holding three non-white actresses on leashes, but there are elements of the projections of the characters by the show that exacerbates racist ideas.

First, let’s talk about Aragon and Cleves–Angry, sassy, masculine, and gold-digging, just to name a few traits. Just looking at the show and casting trends alone, Aragon and Cleves, both played by women with medium to dark skin tones, have the deepest vocal parts. This by itself might not seem like a huge deal, but combined with race-based casting trends and the show’s perpetuation of stereotypes surrounding Black women, small things add up.

In Six, each queen’s solo song defines their key character traits. For Cleves, Get Down puts an emphasis on Cleves flaunting her wealth and her obnoxious behaviour. She refers to her palace numerous times, flexes that she isn’t fake because she’s paid for her acres and acres with her own riches, and there’s even this line–’Now, I ain’t sayin’ I’m a gold digger, But check my prenup, and go figure.’ In moderation, many of her characteristics would be fine–we love us some confident women, however, Cleves only has these two characteristics, even during her bits of dialogue. For Aragon, No Way is a valid response to her husband cheating on her and her issues with religion despite her devotion to the Catholic church. However, there are no other qualities portrayed other than anger. The vulnerable moment during the bridge is extremely brief and in the show, is a comedic tool to segue back into indignation. While her anger is entirely justified, this lack of nuance makes for a very one-dimensional character, making it easier to pigeonhole her into stereotypes.

On the other hand, Seymour is perceived as the pinnacle of femininity and motherhood. Even her costume is the most conservative compared to the other queens, with no cutouts aside from that one strap underneath her collarbones, long sleeves, and a full knee length skirt. Heart of Stone revolves around her love for Henry VIII and her role as a mother and a wife rather than her characteristics as a person. Because of this, the only exhibited characteristics are ones attributed to a caretaker–she’s a loving person, whose love is set in stone, and she’s dependable like a stone and can weather whatever storm comes her way. Thus, when she doesn’t align with this characterization, such as in the queens fighting scene where they compare miscarriages among other tragedies, it’s forgivable–after all, she is a grieving mother. On the other hand, when Aragon exhibits the same behaviour, it’s non-permissible as it aligns with and supports her existing characterization, reinforcing the idea that she is indeed an angry Black woman.

So, can Six’s issues with race be resolved? Like its racism, the answer is: it’s complicated. The ideal course of action would be to break casting trends, but it’s quite difficult to do so in an equitable manner. To cast a white woman in existing non-white roles would be to prioritize whiteness even if the casting is mixed up between all characters. A good step forward would to cast a 100% non-white cast and at least a 50% non-white band. This is the only way to respectfully break casting trends and prioritize inclusivity, especially seeing as Toby, Lucy, and most, if not all, of the creative team are white. Going forward, Six as a whole needs to actively be anti-racist and prioritize women of colour.

[unironicduncanstan]

Randi’s Kustom Kandi! (Comes with free stickers!)

🌈💖 Hello, I’m a queer autistic low-income artist selling completely customized Kandi bracelets for $1 a piece ! 💖🌈

😘 Details and how to start your order below 😘

💲 COST: Pony bead bracelets, with colors, b&w words, or plain star beads, are $1 each, no taxes, just $1.00 flat. The use of colored letters and iridescent stars are $1.25. As of right now to keep stock up, bracelets consisting of Only star beads aren’t available to order. Charm options are not yet available, but will eventually be added, and prices may range. This is all just based on how much it costs to buy the beads to make these bracelets! 💲

📦 SHIPPING: Each order will end up with a different estimate for shipping costs, based on where you live, and how many bracelets you order. I ship through USPS and I should be able to ship almost anywhere, but the further away you are, the higher shipping will be. I’m shipping out of Kansas. Domestic shipping will probably start at around $3 - $8, international shipping will just have to depend. If you want an estimate before starting an order, just give me your address and an idea of how many bracelets you might want, and I’ll get back to you asap. 📦

🤷‍♀️ AVAILABILITY: I have a full rainbow array of pony beads including b&w, some neons and pastels too, I have a nice color range of star beads including b&w and transparent, and some iridescent star beads as well, and then for letters I have black on white, white on black, color on black and color on white. A lot of these can be seen in the example image above!  🤷‍♀️

IMPORTANT TO NOTE;;; My pony beads are all around 6x4mm, and the letter beads are 6x6mm. This is considered somewhat Small for kandi bracelets. This isn’t a choice I made to skimp out, this size is actually more expensive and harder to find than the usual 6x9mm, I just very much prefer this size to work with and wear. It’s only a tad bit more subtle, but it fits most people a lot better and I would Definitely recommend it for people with smaller wrists or who are just starting out with Kandi.

🤔 HOW TO ORDER: So basically, how you choose to tell me the pattern you want is up to you, you can draw it out if you want or just try to explain it with words, or whatever else works. Once you explain what you want, I’ll show you what beads I have that match your request, and you can decide what you want out of those options. 

An example could be; “I would like a bracelet with a repeating pattern of red and blue pony beads, with the word PLUR in black on white letters, and two pink stars on each side, just like this!” 

To which I might say; “Ok, here I have 2 shades of red and 4 shades of blue, and I have plain pink stars or iridescent pink, which ones would you like me to use?” and then I’d show you a picture of all of these colors for you to decide! Once we have all your bracelets planned out, I’ll ask for a few more details to give you your total price. Then once the payment goes through, I’ll start working! Whenever your bracelets are all complete, I’ll send you pictures of the finished products to make sure you like them (if not I’ll redo at no extra charge). After you give the OK, I’ll ship them out! (You can also ask for some ‘random/surprise me’ bracelets if you aren’t sure of any patterns, of course.)

What I have in stock might vary, I will try to update this post as that goes, so please make sure to visit this posts SOURCE instead of a reblog before you start an order to check for availability. Please send your order requests to THIS blog, through PM if you can. If you want an alternate way of communication, contact me however you can and we’ll go from there. I have discord, facebook messenger, email, etc. 🤔

🤷🏻 WHAT ELSE I NEED: When confirming your order, I’ll need your shipping address. I’ll then be able to calculate shipping cost and give you a full price. (Again, zero hard feelings if you can’t afford the price I give, like, bad vibes in the NEGATIVES, been there done that, and I’ll be available if you ever do have the funds, but please understand I can’t change shipping costs, I really would make it free if I could.) After that I’ll ask for your paypal and send a payment request, once that payment goes through is when I start your order! I’ll have to ask a few more questions, like your wrist measurements (or an estimate, since the bracelet is made of elastic it’ll have a decent amount of stretch, but this may warp how spaced your beads are if it’s too inaccurate.), and i’ll need your first and last name (it doesnt have to be a legal name, just something to put on your package). 🤷🏻

📫 SHIPPING TIME: Once again, this will depend on how far you are, and because of c0v1d it may be more delayed than expected. I’ll try to send you a tracking number as soon as your item ships. 📫

📿 CHARMS: If you’d like more options, the best solution I’ve been able to think of for now is that if you’d like, you could surf Ebay, Etsy, Etc. till you find some charms you’d want me to use, and then if you’re okay with covering the cost to get them (typically $5 to $15 for a decent lot) and then waiting a bit extra for me to receive them, I would have no problem using those for you! :) Someday I’d really like to stock up on popular charms to have more choices available, but I don’t quite have the funds quite yet. Thank you for your understanding. 📿

😷 ALLERGY/SENSITIVE SKIN NOTICE: I seal small parts of my bracelets to reduce the chance of breakage. I use a very tiny drop of Loctite Super Glue Gel on the knot. This glue does not keep the beads from moving freely or lock them into place, it’s used sparingly as a sealant. If you ever receive a bracelet that is locked or sticky, I would fully refund you and offer to send another. You can also absolutely opt out of this, Just add “No glue” somewhere to your order. Just be warned that your bracelet will be less protected from breakage. 😷

❗ DISCLAIMER: Either way, I cannot take responsibility for a bracelet eventually breaking down. Kandi and elastic bracelets in general are a bit prone to snapping, but mostly over time and especially if used in rave settings. I use high quality jewelry elastic from amazon, very high rated and recommended by other Kandi makers, and I knot them 3 times, so mine should last as long as they possibly can. Please make sure your wrist measurements are as accurate as they can be, and please be gentle when taking them on or off, just being careful will help prolong it’s usage by a lot. Now if a bracelet arrives broken, I will of course replace it, no extra charge. ❗

🦄 STICKERS: Order 5 bracelets and get one free sticker! Order 10 and get two, so on and so forth in a pattern of 5. The stickers are hand cut by me from large books and sheets, so the edges might look odd but the sticker itself should be unharmed. These are completely random, and based loosely around a scenecore aesthetic. Most are pretty ‘medium’ sized, but they do range quite a bit. 🦄

✍ CONTENT: Kandi, scene and rave culture, is in a general sense, a very upbeat and supportive based environment. I do not want to make bracelets with negative messages on them. I will obviously NEVER make any with hate speech or rude remarks, but beyond that, please keep your phrases positive. If you want something thats meant to fight hate, like “kill all n*zis” or something, I'm not opposed to that as it’s for justice, it’s just that most Kandi is focused on ‘happy party vibe’ messages. As far as media or interests, like if you want a bracelet that says “Gir” or “100 gecs”, or uses ship names, etc. I will not deny you any interest you choose. BUT, I am personally uncomfortable with d.dl/g and won’t make bracelets based on that, nor will I ever make bracelets supporting ped0ph1lic or 1ncestu0us content, including if they’re based on medias or fictional ships. As far as pride bracelets, I would LOVE to make those for you, and I will Never deny working with your identity, pronouns, etc. once again, unless it’s a p/ed0 flag or something. I will never deny working with any mental or physical disability/illness or other kind of divergency pride. Race and/or religion pride is also great except for “White pr1de” because of the violent connotations behind that concept. NSFW Kandi is fine, cussing is fine, I hope this goes without saying but please only ask for Kandi with a slur on it if you can reclaim that slur, and overall, just be mindful with what you ask for if you plan to wear it in public settings like raves. If you have any controversial ideas you felt this didn’t cover, please feel free to ask, I will not get angry at you for your request, even if I have to deny it. ✍

Thank you for reading! I look forward to doing business with you 😊

[cinebration]

Cordial (Napoleon Solo x Reader) [Part 9]

Heart-to-heart.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Epilogue

Tagged: @ly–canthrope​, @maan24​, @eefjedegraaf​, @omgkatinka​, @illbegoinhome, @tiffanypooh

Warnings: none

Gif Source: mrcavill

“I know what she used to do. I want to know why a forger is leading this mission.”

Waverly sighed into the phone, the sound multiplying static. “I thought you were calling about something important, Solo.”

“I am.”

“I think you objected less to Kuryakin! It’s rather remarkable, that.”

“Please answer the question, Waverly.”

With another sigh, Waverly replied, “She is leading this mission because she can sell.”

Solo frowned. “I can do that.”

“Not like she can, Solo. If she can pass fakes off as real, she can sell anything. She fooled you after all.”

Solo ground his teeth again. A mild pain had begun to develop in his jaw, moving up toward his temples. Inhaling deeply through his nose, he straightened and readjusted his shoulders, trying to regain his control.

“No need to become upset,” Waverly said, reading his silence. “If anything, you both should get along swimmingly. You are similar fish in the same pond, so to speak.”

Waverly was right, of course. But Solo couldn’t let him know that. “She’s inexperienced.”

“In certain capacities, yes, but you more than make up for it. You could teach her a thing or two.”

I certainly could, he thought bitingly. “She doesn’t strike me as the learning type.”

“That is an inaccurate assessment.”

“I meant that she doesn’t seem all too open to learning from me.”

A short silence followed on the line. Solo frowned, a mild crease forming in his chiseled brow.

“Have you considered an exchange of knowledge?”

“What?”

“If you learn from her, she could learn from you.”

Solo laughed. “She would have me on a leash within the day if I gave her that much slack.”

“Then I suggest you get used to the weight of a collar around your neck.”

The line cut on the other end.

Solo stared down at the handset before slowly replacing it in its cradle, the muscle in his jaw working again. He was tired of being led around by others, of having to respond to the jerks on the leash. The CIA had done it for five years and intended to do so for ten more. Add to it any leash you put on him, and he was liable to suffocate.

The doors to the bedroom yawned open. Straightening his vest out of habit, Solo turned to face you.

He noted with mild disappointment that you had fixed your lipstick, wiping the smudging free from your lips. In fact, you had removed all of the makeup, leaving your face naked.

He stared. Maskless, your expression bordered on haggard. For a moment, he glimpsed the artist in your eyes, used to working behind the scenes and in a familiar medium, immersed in a project that saw a results-yielding end.

“It’s why he approached me,” you said.

Solo blinked. “Excuse me?”

“Waverly. My ability to sell.” You smiled thinly. “I picked up the phone in the other room.”

“Of course you did.”

You shrugged. “I told you to play nice and I would play nice in return. I believe in tit-for-tat, but more along the lines of a…retaliation policy.”

He arched his eyebrows.

“You know,” you said, falling your hand, “you pinch me, I stab you.”

“How progressive of you,” he said dryly. A shiver coursed through him at the thought, however.

Stepping into the salon, you sauntered over to the table in the center and slumped down into a chair, decidedly unladylike. Solo watched this with surprised curiosity. Your gaze drifted out the French doors and over the balcony, surveying the Parisian skyline. Though it was only midday, you looked exhausted, ready for the evening’s rest.

Solo almost suggested it, going so far as to picture you in comfortable nightclothes relaxing into the mattress with a sigh of relief. The thought sent a tingle down his spine.

Your soft voice coaxed him from his thoughts. “We aren’t so dissimilar.”

“Enlighten me.”

“You fill your life with art and fine things and affairs because you can’t find that which truly makes you content.”

Solo felt his mouth go dry.

“And neither can I,” you continued. “I’m here because I got bored. I reached too high too quickly and let myself get caught. For a new adventure.” You laughed ruefully. “That is where we differ.”

Your gaze shifted from the outside to him, fixing him with a soul-piercing stare. Rooted to the spot, all Solo could do was force himself to breathe.

“Are you familiar with Schutzhund?”

Frowning, Solo answered, “No.”

“It’s a training program for German Shepherds. It evaluates the dog’s character and capabilities while molding them into dogs suited for police work or other working-dog careers.”

“I don’t follow.”

“It hurts the dog to yank on a leash, as much as it hurts the owner.” Your gaze drifted back out the window. “With proper Schutzhund training, a leash isn’t necessary. The dog knows what is expected of him and is obedient, because he trusts the owner, but he also knows when to take initiative to help his owner, because he trusts his own skills.”

You fixed him with that stare again. “I don’t want you on a leash, Napoleon.”

The use of his first name sent a curious thrill through him. You spoke with such sincerity, he could feel his chest constricting under the weight of it.

She knows how to sell.

The thought sobered him. Pushing against the unusual sensation creeping in his chest, he said, “But you want me at your beck and call.”

Passing a hand over your face, you sighed. “No, Solo. I want you to trust me.”

“You don’t trust me.”

“I trust your skills. But I do not trust your loyalty.”

Solo blinked. “I am loyal where it matters.”

At this you rose, a strained look on your face. “But Solo, nothing matters to you. Just expensive things and fast women.”

Something pierced him through the chest, the pain blossoming outward in his torso. Panic edged his thoughts as the feeling grew.

“I have a phenomenal record,” he said. “I do my work well and haven’t failed. That matters.”

A quiet sigh slipped through your nose. Shaking your head, you straightened, the softness in your expression hardening. “That’s your vanity and pride talking.”

“You suffer from the same.”

“Only in the face of someone as insufferable as you. The only way to crush your ego is to have a bigger one.”

Snatching up the phone, you dialed quickly, waited a half-second. “Gaby, are you free? Good.”

You left without another word.

Shaken, Solo poured himself a scotch and gulped it down, fighting with himself. Seeing you slip back into your hard shell, much to his surprise, made him feel…wrong. That realization only made the panic in the back of his mind sharpen, threatening to wrap around his control and throttle it.

“Nothing matters to you.”

The ringing of the phone pierced the silence. Solo plucked it out of the cradle with relief, carefully schooled his voice into an even tone.

“Yes?”

“Cowboy? We have job to do.”

“What job?”

“Surveillance.”

“I’ll be right down.”

Glad for the distraction, Solo swapped out the brown suit for one of his own and headed downstairs, fighting against your voice in his head.