#and of course I used Road Trip as an example in the doodle.

[donelywell]

(it's 3 am- that's why the doodles are crap)

I had this idea kinda pop into my head and I can't sleep until I ramble about it for a little bit.

The idea kinda is to spark a chain between a bunch of au's. Like a collab thing but like- you don't really need to talk with anyone else to get it set up really. (wait, that's just an event) Maybe this would be an event, yeah.

It'd maybe be a story of Nine a bit after Sonic Prime trying to find a universe fit for him to live peacefully in. Maybe even find the Sonic that's right for him (he probably never will). So he'd bounce from Sonic AU to Sonic AU, learning a bit about it but ultimately leaving it as he views it isn't fit for him.

You could throw your headcanons in for Nine too- claim that it's the unknown energy of the universes that has changed his memory and appearance. But he knows his goal: find a universe that's just right, but it seems like it'll never come to be. It frustrates him, but he secretly doesn't mind that much because he actually likes to travel the different universes and see what's strange about it.

Maybe I could make it an actual event, even with a hashtag and such, but that's only if enough people might be interested in it (and when it isn't 3 am brain talking)

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

Outlanders: How Jinjer survived a revolution and built their own world

Jinjer’s resilient spirit was forged in the civil war that erupted their native Ukraine in 2014. As the groove metal quartet prepare to unleash their fourth and most complex album to date, singer Tatiana Shmayluk relives the turmoil that shaped them. Cue: one of modern music’s most remarkable tales of survival, resistance and sheer determination…

It was when the first fighter jet flew overhead that Tatiana Shmayluk realised she had to run.

For the past few months, the mood in Ukraine had been growing increasingly tense. As a former USSR state, in spring 2014 the country had only had independence from Russia since 1991. Many citizens had wanted then-President Viktor Yanukovych to sign an agreement aligning the country closer with the European Union in November 2013. Plenty of others wanted to stay close to Russia. Protests began across the country. Then violence. Then Yanukovych was ousted from office in February 2014. Then more violence.

“There was a revolution,” says Tatiana. ​“There were huge riots in the main square of Kiev. In the end, our president, his ass was kicked out and he left the country. That was crazy. And then everything turned into chaos. And that’s when people really started hating each other.”

That April, following a highly suspect vote on whether to stay or go which resulted in a widely disputed declaration of autonomy for the region around Tatiana’s home-city of Donetsk in the east of the country, on the border with Russia, armed conflict commenced, involving Russian troops, tanks and air power. So began what Tatiana calls ​“a civil war – Ukrainians attacking Ukrainians”, with those loyal to their former Soviet masters on one side, and those wanting to break free, and have independence and closer ties with the EU on the other.

You may remember news footage of protesters banging dustbin lids at lines of soldiers and riot police. The politics of the situation are obviously layered and complex, but the simple version is: imagine a turbo version of Brexit that actually tore the country in two and resulted in one region declaring an independence that’s somewhat disputed by most of the world that isn’t Russia. And with a lot more violence. And a conflict that’s still piling up bodies now.

Tatiana was having a barbecue when she realised what was about to happen. ​“We were at a picnic, not far away from my building where I lived,” she says today from her flat in the Ukrainian capital, Kiev. ​“We were just chilling on the grass, eating food and stuff. And we heard this loud sound in the sky – we looked up and saw a jet. And that was that. We just grabbed our stuff and ran home, and we started figuring out how to leave before it was too late.”

Had Tatiana and her friends – including other members of her band, Jinjer – waited much longer than they did, their passage to Lviv some 1,300 kilometres to the west, where bassist Eugene Abdukhanov and his wife were already living, might have been much more hazardous. Even as they ​“packed all our shit into a van” and made a break for it, the country was starting to change shape around them.

“Already there were borders built being built around our region,” she says. ​“And I remember when we were crossing it, we were met by a guy, a soldier with a weapon. And then we heard [machine gun fire] somewhere very close to us.”

As she describes this, Tatiana makes an almost amusing machine gun noise, but she is painfully aware that even seven years on, the situation remains a serious one. ​“There’s no way out for this problem,” she says, ​“No solution. And that’s really, really sad.” If one needed an example of the lasting effects here, her parents have remained behind in what she calls, with almost mundane succinctness, ​“the war zone”.

“There’s an actual border between Ukraine and the former parts of the country, and it’s all blocked. And due to the pandemic, they have no chance to cross borders,” she explains. ​“They cannot receive money from the government, their pensions. I always tell my mom, ​‘Hey, mom, just try once to do this, make really big effort and cross this border, even [if you have to go] through Russia. Just come here and stay here. I can help you in any way possible.’ But she is old school. And when you have been living on this earth for over 60 years, it’s really hard to change your way of living.”

But that’s what Tatiana and Jinjer have had to do. And growing from such trying circumstances has only made them more rigid in their resolve. Because literally having to run for your life will have an effect on a person. ​“Growing balls, maintaining your balls,” is how she puts it.

“Of course, it makes you stronger,” she says. ​“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

Today, Tatiana has lived in Kiev for more than five years. As Jinjer’s singer, she is one of the rising stars of European metal, and made her living visiting countries as far-flung as Argentina, Australia and Japan to play her band’s music. Next week, the band release their fourth album, Wallflowers, a furious, razor-sharp work of metal that will delight fans of Cradle Of Filth and Conjurer alike, and will add nicely to streams that, in total, already sit at over 100 million.

Though she says that she’s only been recognised around town a handful of times, and that she probably gets noticed more for the tattoos that cover her arms and neck (“Old women who were born in the Soviet Union really reject people with tattoos,” she says. ​“They look at you like you’re a prisoner, or a prostitute…”) than for her music, at 34 life for Tatiana is very different to what she knew growing up. As a kid in the early ​’90s, after the collapse of the USSR, her family were, she says, ​“average”, but there were clues that the Shmayluk family were not one of society’s ​‘haves’.

“I remember that we couldn’t afford meat,” she recalls. ​“After the Cold War ended we got a lot of American food, like veggie burgers. It looked like oatmeal with brown [fake] chicken that you make into patties, and then you fry them. You eat them as kind of meat, but it’s not. It’s just some shit, like some very plastic stuff. I realised how poor we were. And I was crying, ​‘Mom, I just want some meat. I don’t want to eat this.’”

Elsewhere, though, Tatiana remembers her childhood as being ​“great”, a time she looks back on with fondness. ​“We didn’t have internet and stuff, so we just played outside all day long. And school was awesome.” The food imports post-Cold War might not have been the most brilliant thing she had ever seen, but the new order also brought with it more western culture. MTV introduced six-year-old Tatiana to hip-hop (“I’d practice dancing like MC Hammer”), but via going through her brother’s room and raiding his tape collection – often bootlegs – she also got turned on to Nirvana, Metallica and The Offspring.

“We had this family tradition that every evening we had supper together around the same table,” she remembers. ​“When I discovered The Offspring, I put Smash on my huge headphones. I was sitting in a chair, eating, and I wasn’t talking to anyone from my family, just listening to music. And then when I finished, I just sat back and just enjoyed the music, doing nothing.”

Her ability to both lose and find herself in music turned into doing something more significant at high school when, after years spent doodling herself playing guitar in a band with other girls in a sketchbook, Tatiana performed her first gig as part of a talent contest, doing covers of songs by Limp Bizkit and German metallers Guano Apes (“No-one voted for us,” she laughs). Her first gig as an audience member, meanwhile, came a few years later, when Soulfly played in Kiev. Despite the fact she didn’t actually get to see Max Cavalera and his band onstage, it was an experience in itself.

“I traveled from Donetsk to Kiev, like, 700 – 800 kilometres,” she says. ​“My parents were very protective, they didn’t want me going anywhere on road trips or anything, and they didn’t give me any money to spend. I only got to watch maybe 30 minutes of the show, because my boyfriend got drunk and started a fight with someone. Security grabbed him and threw him out of the club. It was quite a shitty day!”

In 2010, aged 23, having completed language studies at university, and working briefly at a dating agency, Tatiana joined Jinjer. Two years later, they self-released their debut EP, Inhale, Don’t Breathe. A year after that, they played outside Ukraine for the first time, in neighbouring Romania. ​“That gave us a push to move forward, because we really liked it,” she says. ​“And although we didn’t bring any money back – we didn’t earn anything – we realised that we want to do this, and we’re going to overcome any obstacle that is waiting for us.”

Eight months later, this would be put to the test by fleeing the war. Having moved to Lviv, Jinjer – Tatiana, Eugene, guitarist Roman Ibramkhalilov and then-drummer Yevhen Mantulin – then all moved into what the singer describes as ​“a summer house” just outside the city. Soon, the band became a full-time concern. They still had nothing, but it was a more fun nothing.

“We were all just hoping for the best, touring just with money that we had, earning nothing, like one euro,” she says. ​“Sometimes we didn’t have anything to eat, basically, because we were broke, because everyone had just quit their jobs. We just had some coins to buy a beer. That was intense. But I remember those years only with a warm heart. That was fun. That was a really huge challenge for just people who had never done that before, but we happened to overcome all this shit because we stayed together.”

But as touring became a more regular thing and things for Jinjer seemed to be on the up and up, the band once again found themselves faced with bad luck that most will, mercifully, never know. On tour in 2014, they had a long drive to Russia for the next run of shows. Stopping at a friend’s house in Kiev for the night, Tatiana took a taxi back to her own place, leaving everyone else to continue partying and drinking. At 4am, she got a phone call about Yevhen.

“They said, ​‘You have to come here because he’s broken his spine,’” she recalls. ​“He fell out of the window. Everyone [had gone] to sleep, and he stayed there in the kitchen, sitting on the window frame, smoking. And then he fell asleep, and fell from the third floor. They heard someone screaming in the middle of the night, but they didn’t realise – they thought that it was maybe a dog or something. And then someone checked the kitchen and he was not there. Then they looked down and saw him just lying there.”

By some miracle, he survived, though he no longer has use of his legs. Tatiana says she and his bandmates were ​“in shock for many years”, and that, ​“I remember we were all around him, toured with him, just hanging out, and then he’s just like… bam.” But even this incident, which left him in a wheelchair and unable to return to the band, is talked about in the same spirited, fighty way that Tatiana talks about every challenge.

“He seems very positive,” she says. ​“He’s doing music and he tours around Russia with a band. It’s kind of a hip-hop band, and he plays guitar. He’s still doing tours, so that’s awesome.”

Should you ask Tatiana to describe to you the Ukrainian national character, she’ll tell you that they are “stubborn”, and that as a whole they feel “we have nothing to lose”. She’ll also tell you that, “Ukrainians are very passionate people. Not like Italians [are passionate], for example, or Spanish people. We are passionate with a straight face, you know, not smiling – more like Russians.” When it comes to danger, meanwhile, she says that “we take risks easily”.

Surprisingly, despite the above description matching the impression you get of Tatiana from her story, she doesn’t think of herself as ​“a typical Ukrainian”. She does, though, nod in confirmation when asked if she sees playing music as a form of resistance. Before any of the bigger events and challenges, this spirited defiance started with becoming a musician at all, at home.

“The first time I resisted something that really prevented me from doing what I love was my parents,” she says. ​“Mostly my mom, who didn’t want to see me as a musician. In Ukraine, it’s kind of a big thing. If you’re a musician, it’s not respected. From 17 to 23, I was protesting [her], silently. I didn’t, like, yell at her; I didn’t fight with her. I just said, ​‘Yeah, yeah,’ and I did my own thing. That’s when it started, and it’s still going this way.”

An example: on Wallflowers, there’s a song, Disclosure, in which Tatiana vents about treatment at the hands of certain media outlets in her homeland. Even being used to internet haters, giving the band shit for everything from daring to escape a warzone, to daring to have a female member, to daring to become successful, the experience left her boiling.

“Earlier this year, in March, me and Eugene went to some studio to do an interview with a Ukrainian guy who is a YouTuber, and he used to work on Ukrainian TV channels,” she says. ​“So there was a tense atmosphere, and very angry vibrations between us. And he was so manipulative. We had differences in our political views and stuff, and he didn’t want to accept that. So he really wanted to show us in a very bad, bad way. I was pissed off for three days after that, and wrote the song about it.”

As people with a profile, do you think you’re a target for that sort of thing?

“We absolutely are targets for those people, for haters,” Tatiana says. ​“They hate us for different reasons: for me being a woman, you know. And people think that we pay for [success], like with our money – some of them think that we are hugely rich. My mom is a bookkeeper! My dad worked in coal mining, he was a worker, just working class. But no-one cares. They always find something to blame us for. But at least they don’t do us any harm. Only with words and comments. It’s distant. They’re poison, but it goes nowhere.”

Tatiana Shmayluk is a self-evidently tough woman. She’s also extremely nice. Equally, she’s extremely modest. When she talks about her life’s trials and triumphs, survival and successes, she does so in a manner that almost shrugs these things off, that possibly anyone could do them. Possibly, if pushed by the sight of a war literally kicking off while you have a barbecue, we could. But it’s still surprising that, for someone with more real things to get angry about than most, she describes what she’s putting into Wallflower as simply ​“my whining and insecurities”.

“Every album, I find something to be angry about,” she says. ​“It’s pessimistic, but it’s nothing to do with the pandemic. The pandemic gave me some time to just sit and think about, different stuff that I’ve been going through. And we have to agree that the whole world isn’t getting any better – I put myself into this kind of state of mind that, ​‘Okay, it’s almost the end of the world.’ Maybe the next album will be more optimistic and more positive. Maybe…”

Pessimism or not, none of it makes her story of prevailing against the things she has any less stirring. Never mind the fact that the band she fronts come from a country most tours don’t even stop at. She’s – rightfully – proud of Jinjer’s success, and the work ethic it’s taken to get them where they are, but she’s almost at pains to share the glory with her bandmates. And in part, it’s this that’s carried Jinjer through all this the most. It’s this, she says, that’s helped her both survive, and to thrive.

“I would never do this myself. I wouldn’t be able to work on so many obstacles just by myself,” Tatiana admits. ​“And if I had some type of my own personal career, just a single singer, I wouldn’t even start doing that. I really need those guys. And the guys, I hope they need me. That’s just how it works: all together. Even having nothing in our pockets and empty stomachs, we could work.

“It just depends on how big your dream is.”

[airariaira]

Troisième - 12/02/20

It’s been more than a month, and holy heck time has truly flown. Yet somehow I feel like I have been here for a while, too. I’m feeling more settled and comfortable here in Troyes - I can get to and from school fine, and I don’t jump up with fright at every bus stop on the way home alone, worried about missing my stop! I couldn’t even imagine getting lost now. I feel confident enough to explore a bit more, and this afternoon I took a walk a little in town and along the Seine, because the weather was gorgeous. That was of course until i was 15 minutes away from home and the wind picked up, then suddenly there was needles of rain soaking through my jacket and my bag and my jeans. Honestly, I felt very personally attacked by the weather at that point. On a day that only a few hours earlier had looked like this from my window?:

It was so gorgeous outside with my window open, I could hear the traffic and the birds and the breeze - the air coming in was a little cold, but in that nice fresh winter way. I couldn’t possibly not go outside. So, after my two hours of school this morning (Philosophy and English Literature), I decided to go on a little walk exploring:

^A padlock fence I saw while walking along the river

^This is one of the ol chimneys from the 19th-century factories in Troyes. Troyes has been a city famous for producing clothing and goods for hundreds of years, and you can see these bad boys pop up all around. I also met some cute new friends:

So what if these new friends are paintings of cats on the streets? This is MY blong, you’re not allowed to judge me.

Since my last blog post, a fair amount has happened, I’ll catch you all up... Which won’t be too hard for me to do, seeing as I started writing a travel diary to keep up to date with what I’ve been doing - unlike Mr Alex Gasson it seems, as he wrote in his blog (which, by the way, you can find on this link here) Lets go all the way back to Saturday the 26th of January, the morning of which I wrote my last blog post. That afternoon we took a trip out to my host family’s house by the lake (called La Lac d’Orient) in the pretty, historic village of Géraudot only a little while away from Troyes. We went for a walk around the nearby forest, which was gorgeous. We heard a woodpecker, too.

The lake is man-made, not natural, and is where water from the Seine is redirected to avoid flooding out Paris each year. On the shore, there’s a small plastic path down to the water to make the lake more accessible for those with disabilities. I thought that was good, I’m surprised I’ve never seen anythign like it before. 

Following the walk, we went back to the house for a coffee and a board game. That evening on the way back to the city, we stopped by the outlet store shopping centre. I found a little bit of home there...

(I pinkie promise that the bag has gifts in it! For other people!) Sunday the 26th was a slightly warmer day, which I suppose was a bit of a last hurrah, because the forcast for the following week was not so good. On that day I went out with my host mother Marie, we went to another museum. This is in a building called Hôtel de Vauluisant, which houses both the Musée d’Art Champenois, and the Musée de la Bonneterie. The art section was so phenomenally beautiful - filled with old paintings and sculptures and stained glass from the many many churches in Troyes. The section on Troyes’ factory and bonneterie history had many machines from the early factories of the city. This is the area outside of the building:

After that, we went to a beautiful church just across the road from the museum. The inside of the church took me aback for two reasons. One, because if was so incredibly beautiful inside, filled to abundance with enormous paintings, sculptures, and flowers. Two, because it was so freaking cold inside. I coud see my breath cloud out probabaly more dramatically than it has during any winter commute to school in New Zealand. That said though, it was definitely worth the visit. I never knew churches could be so decked-out in beautiful things. I don’t think a picture could capture how pretty it was, but here you go anyway:

Monday the 27th was a pretty standard French school day. I ended up with a bit of a migraine so had a quiet day. That evening we (my host siblings Lola and Antoine, and my host mother Marie) did some English revision for Antoine’s upcoming English exam, which was fun. Tuesday the following day was another good school day. I had a lot of free hours, so I went into town for a while. Wednesday was of course my short day. That afternoon I went out with two new friends, Cheyenne and Alicia, to the museum and town. It was good fun! Cheyenne and I at the museum:

The weekend of the 1st/2nd was good. On Sunday in the afternoon we went bowling. The cousin of my host siblings, who’s from Boston and living in Paris for a year, came and joined us. Her name is Noa, and she stayed from Sunday to Wednesday to celebrate her birthday. On Monday I finally handed out the rest of my New Zealand souvenirs in my English class. At lunchtime I sat with Juliette and some others. Juliette lived in Christchurch for a year a little while ago! Tuesday the 4th was Noa’s birthday. School was interesting, with lots of free periods spaced out throughout the day (awkward timing!) We couldn’t find a spare classroom for French Literature which was weird?? That evening, we celebrated Noa’s birthday with raclette and then cake. On Wednesday she left back for Paris - I wonder if one day we’ll meet again in this big old world? That evening I went wandering around town with Marie for a while again, and I got a photo in front of the famous Cœur de Troyes:

It lights up at night and the red light beats like a heart. I’ll be interested to see how many couples will be taking their pictures in front of it on Friday for Valentine’s Day! Last Friday I walked to the bus stop with a new appreciation for how pretty the city is. I start school at 9, so get to see the way the morning sun hits the old buildings so beautifully. The sky was so blue and the light so nice, I don’t know if a camera could capture it quite so perfectly:

And on Saturday the 8th... Paris!!! I travelled over with my host sister Lola, and we met Marie there. The day seemed to last for so long while it was happening, but somehow I found myself suddenly sitting on the train back to Troyes again. Now, it feels like it went by so fast. We started with the Tour Eiffel, naturally, where I took a video - and unintentionally caught someone proposing! Everything there was so big and old and impressive - it sumultaneously felt surreal, and like it was exactly where I was meant to be. 

Following the Eiffel Tower, we took a short cruise on the Seine on the Bateau Mouches to sightsee a little bit. It was so bitterly cold and windy on the water, but the sculptures and cuildings and bridges were pretty enough to make up for it. Here’s a picture of a scaled-down model of the Statue of Liberty, and the Eiffel Tower in the same frame:

After lunch, we had our little indulgence in consumerism by going to the Galleries Lafayette, where all the expensive brands and rich are piled into one big, pretty shopping centre. It was sparkly and dazzling, and I don’t think I’ve every been surrounded by so many expensive things in my life before. It smelled like money and every kind of perfume all at once. Just how Jay Gatsby would have liked it. Here’s me on the roof:

It was such a long way down! After that, we went to the Arc de Triomphe. It’s so incredibly huge in person. It was wonderful to see all of the avenues surrounding me while on the roof (getting rained on... am I making a habit of that?) The rain didn’t drain my spirits, however. It was so cool to admire the bustle of Parisian life happening all below me. 

The view from the top:

(I think the stairs were worth it... I’m not sure what the other two think though...   🤔)

I was so tired after that big day that on the train ride back home I just stared into space for the entire hour and a half! Throughout the day, I kept waiting for one of those slack-jawed tourist moments to hit me, a feeling of helpless amazement when I looked at some monument or the like. But it didn’t - perhaps I’m just better at enjoying travel in a slow, contented kind of way. The rain in Paris on Saturday would prove to be the beginning of a storm that would last a few days. On Monday the 10thI was very happy to be sitting inside, writing my travel diary, rather than outside in that rain and wind I could hear against the roof and walls. All in all, I’ve been really enjoying my time on exchange. Sometimes I do truly feel a little out of my depth - like I’m wasting my time here is I speak much English, but I just can’t always articulate myself fully in French. Sometimes I feel a little out of place and behind when I’m around my peers and they’re speaking such rapic French. However, it does get easier each day. I feel happy and comfortable here.

Here’s some more photos, just so I can flex on my people back in New Zealand about how pretty this city is...

^A fountain the bus goes past each day, taken on one of the rare occasions that the bus isn’t packed to the brim and I manage to grab a seat!

^A pretty sculpture in town

^A church with a gorgeous roof that’s just behind the house

^Some more pretty houses (gosh I must look like such a weirdo taking pictures of all these buildings)

^A pretty street in pretty afternoon light

^A very ~zenn~ little square nestled in buildings in town

Aaand last but not least...

A prime example of the memes and doodles that are copied onto the blackboard during recreation. (Shh - don’t tell the teacher who drew what!) Until next time!

[myrish-lace-love]

Jake + Amy (Brooklyn 99 fic)

Summary: Amy still hasn’t gotten over Jake, despite that awful road trip where she told him her feelings were in the past. Amy’s convinced there’s no way Jake still cares about her the way he used to - not even after his breakup with Sophia. Amy makes a trip to the precinct late at night, trying to drown out her persistent fretting with work. She slips into an old habit - doodling - and draws her name and Jake’s together on a napkin. Embarrassing, but harmless. Then Jake walks in.

A/N: This is my first time writing for this fandom! I’m halfway through season 3, but saw the season 3 finale episode title, “Jake and Amy,” and couldn’t get this idea out of my head. :)

***

Amy - color-coding, rule-following, five-minutes-early-for-everything Amy - has a secret. She doodles, when her other coping strategies fail her. When, for example, paperwork couldn’t soothe her. Usually plowing through a stack of files – imposing order onto a tiny universe – helps her carry that feeling of calm over into real life.

But tonight, her folders were neatly squared away and her mind was still restless. She’d come in to try and stop the constant stream of doubt and second-guessing in her head. She was alone in the precinct, with nothing but the faint buzz of fluorescent lights to keep her company. She nibbled on her lip while drawing on the back of a napkin with a blue ballpoint pen.

Jake + Amy. It was silly, straight out of the fifth grade, though granted she and Jake did act like fifth graders around each other sometimes. But it was an easy, private way to make the connection between them. To skip over the messy talk about feelings and consequences and things left unsaid.

Teddy had been right. Jake was the problem in their relationship. Teddy, being the sharp detective he was, knew it. He called her out on it, during that awful road trip. To make matters worse, Amy had lied - at least by omission - leaving Jake with the impression that any feelings she’d harbored for him were in the past. When, in fact, she was pining for him now.

Meanwhile, Jake had fallen for Sophia. Beautiful, smooth, immaculate Sophia, who seemed right for him. Sarcastic. Outgoing. A better fit. But Sophia had crushed Jake’s heart, and he was only starting to recover.

Now, maybe, there was a small space, an opening for Amy and Jake. Which is why Amy’s sneaky subconscious drew them together on a napkin, surrounded by a curly-cue heart.

Except Jake had seemed so deeply in love with Sophia that Amy refused to acknowledge there was still room in Jake’s life for the two of them. You know. Romantic stylez. She and Jake were friends. Friendship was good. Dependable. And not at all what she wanted.

She’d been floored when Jake first confessed his feelings. Speechless. He’d spoken to a truth inside her she didn’t know existed. And then he’d left, vanished into the mob, maybe never to be seen again, and she’d thrown herself into her relationship with Teddy. To try to forget the softness in Jake’s eyes, and the answering flutter in her stomach.

“Amy?”

She startled. Jake was in front of her, wearing a rumpled flannel shirt and blinking owlishly. Of course. Of course Jake had to come in tonight too.

Amy groaned and dropped her head on her desk. She could hear him already. How is the fact that you doodle not the most hilarious part of this night? Is that a heart? Amy, I’m swooning. He’d do something dumb like get down on his knees, like he had after the bet. Amy Santiago, will you marry me?

“Just take the napkin Jake. Go ahead, put it up by the vending machine. Get it over with.” He’d probably frame it.

Silence. She peeked through the arm of her suit jacket. Jake was standing stock still, staring at the paper as if it might bite him.

Read more below or continue on AO3

“I, uh….”

“C'mon Jake. I just handed you the office gossip for a week.” Boyle was definitely going to sing.

He met her eyes and she caught her breath. Softness and wonderment flickered across his face. Sentiments that didn’t look like they would instantly dissolve into a wide-mouthed grin and ha I totally got you!

The same vulnerability she’d seen each time he’d confessed how he felt.

He stunbled over his words. “I was gonna get caught up on that B&E but…I gotta go.” Then he took off like she’d lit a fire underneath him.

Amy closed her mouth after a minute. She took the doodle and stuffed it in her bag. He’d be back to normal tomorrow, searching her desk for it.

She dragged herself home, ate Chinese takeout without tasting it, and almost threw the stupid napkin in the stupid trash.

Her hand wavered. Jake + Amy. She kept it instead, tucked it deep into the drawer in her bedside table. She felt better, somehow, knowing that she’d written it down. Yes she was pathetic, but really at this point who’s counting?

She flailed around for a good minute before whacking her alarm the next morning. Messy emotions aside, she was, in fact, an adult, and proud of it, and she was going into the office, damnit. So she dragged herself into the precinct, picking up heavily sugared coffee on the way and bracing herself for the inevitable fallout.

***

Jake bounced into the office the next morning, smoothed his hand over his tie, and got to work. Nothing seemed amiss, apart from a tightness around his eyes. Amy sighed and sipped her caffeine.

Rosa glared at her. “Amy, you look like crap.”

Jake cleared his throat. “Amy was working late last night.”

Here we go.

“Just…” Jake faltered. “Being the smart, dedicated detective she is.”

Boyle perked up. “So wait, you were here too, Jake?”

Jake waved his hand. “Oh briefly. Came in to check on a file” - despite everything Amy shot him a warning look, don’t, because they were still partners and she still had his back – “that I definitely did not put in my bag because who brings home confidential files? Who does that? I casually rifled through one, thought some brilliant crime-solving thoughts, and headed home.” Jake turned back to his computer.

Awkward silence filled the room.

Diaz frowned. “What the hell is wrong with you two?”

“Nothing!” Amy said, in that chipper voice that grated on her own nerves sometimes. “Completely normal morning here.”

Rosa snorted. “Yeah sure. Whatever.”

Amy kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. She needed Jake to kid about this. Because it was too weird otherwise. Too…real. Pretty soon she was going to have to talk to him about it, and while that had seemed like the most awful outcome possible last night, it would be an improvement over this standoff. But no matter how many times she glanced over at his desk, Jake wouldn’t meet her eyes.

After lunch, Amy had resorted to hiding away, sorting files in the evidence locker, when the door creaked open.

“Hey,” Jake said, too brightly. “I’ll leave you to it.”

Amy’s stomach churned. She couldn’t do this anymore. She closed the drawer and turned to face him. “Jake, please, wait. Why aren’t you making fun of me?

Jake looked away. His shoulders hunched. “Did you mean it?”

Amy took a deep breath. She could joke around. She could try. She gave him a half-smile. “Are you asking me if I meant my doodle?”

“Yeah. Is it like an equation?” He was putting up a valiant effort too, but she saw the strain on his face. “Jake plus Amy equals - wait there’s no answer that doesn’t sound sexual. Never mind.”

There were lots of answers, actually. Great detectives. Great team. A rhythm and pattern that made sense.

Jake ran a hand through his hair. “Okay, yeah. That’s exactly what I’m asking.”

It had to hurt, to walk in and see evidence that she hadn’t been completely honest with him about her feelings. It was time for her to be brave.

“I wrote a childish note you weren’t supposed to see and I was going to destroy it. Because yes, I like you, that’s not in the past for me, that’s now. And that’s not fair to you. Not something I can ask of you. Not after you just broke up with Sophia. And you don’t care about me that way anymore. ”

Jake finally met her eyes, and his gaze was pained.

“Amy, I…”

Jake reached for her and she rushed to meet him. She’d imagined kissing him many, many times, but she’d never thought it could be this sweet, this tender. He cupped the back of her head and kissed her like he intended to savor it, like he couldn’t quite believe this was happening either.

Only the two of them could have turned I like you into something more loaded than I love you. They’d managed to transform a silly phrase into a concept that was enormous and vast and terrifying. But it had to be vast - large enough to hold all the time’s he’d had her back and she’d had his, when his jokes made her bite her lip to keep from laughing, when his big heart caused problem and solved them.

They broke apart, and Jake rested his forehead on hers. A bubble of happiness rose in her chest. He was warm, and solid, and here, holding her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he pulled her closer. His breath ghosted over her ear.

“Thank god you told me, because I still like you too. I never stopped. Not even when I was with Sophia. I think she figured it out, and broke it off. Because you’re the one for me, Amy. You always will be.”

Amy snuggled furather into his embrace. “Yeah. Me too.” She should probably offer more. But she sucked at feelings too, almost as much as Jake did. They were a hell of a pair. At least they could be terrible at it together.

“I almost had a heart attack, seeing that napkin.” He drew back, and his smile had that familiar smirk. “Ha, heart attack, like the one you drew.”

She giggled. God she’d missed this. Missed him. “Seriously, this is the lowest-hanging fruit ever.”

He touched her cheek. “You know, I never asked you when your feelings for me stopped. I wondered, but I didn’t want to pry.”

Amy tangled her fingers in Jake’s hair. “They didn’t. You’ve got a curly-cued heart to prove it.”

“Okay, seriously, did you doodle in school? I have to know.”

“Sometimes. Late at night. Never in class.”

He smiled at her. “No, of course not. Someone might have seen you. Secret’s safe with me.”

Amy’s doodle did appear on their wedding invitations years later. Boyle, ever the romantic, framed his, and gave it to them as a gift on their one-year anniversary. So Jake + Amy was, eventually, framed and hung on a wall. Amy traced her fingers over it each time she walked by in the hallway, grateful that a silly hobby had been the key to Jake finding his way back to her.

Or, for them finding their way back to each other.

[queenbeez-blog]

101 Hobbies to Start in 2019 – Listed by Types of Hobbies

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When I was in high school and college, I remember feeling bored. The world was wide open and the possibilities of creating and recreating myself were endless, but everything good in life seemed to be ahead of me. I was always waiting for that good part.

Now, I’m no longer preparing myself for the future. Perhaps I’ve already arrived.

This post contains affiliate links, where we receive a small commission on sales of the products that are linked at no additional cost to you. All opinions are always our own. Read our full disclosure for more info. Thank you for supporting the brands that make Local Adventurer possible.

Published: Dec 26, 2018

101 Hobbies to Start in 2019 – Listed By Types of Hobbies

As much as we love our work, lately our work has become a problem. With travel blogging, there isn’t much separation between work and life, and we’ll admit that we’re both workaholics.

We got swept up in the busyness of NYC and only realized recently how much we started to value work more than anything else. One day we made it a goal to take the evening off, and when we realized we didn’t know how to fill our time, we went right back to work.

This might sound simple, but for us, it hasn’t been so easy. We also need something that we love to do for ourselves and not so we can post about it, which is weirdly a prevalent part of the present human experience.

The Benefits of Hobbies

A few reasons I want to find some new hobbies next year:

To play and relax – We need to find hobbies that can make us zero money and that might possibly bore everyone. haha

To sharpen my mind – I have such terrible memory now and may well be on my way to having early onset Alzheimer’s (it’s in the family and it freaks me out).

For personal growth, enrichment and emotional health – something I’m constantly needing work on.

For better physical health – we already rock climb, but I think we need some activiities with cardio.

Other benefits include:

Learning a useful skill

Socializing and making new friends

Making extra money

Title of Subsection

Also, with our blog, you may already know we’re all about exploring our hometowns and greater backyards. We firmly believe that adventure starts within yourself by cultivating a spirit of adventure. Many of these can be done at home. How much more local can you get?

“Find three hobbies you love: one to earn money, one to stay in shape, and one that allows you to be creative.” And if there were a fourth, we’d add one to make the world a better place. Which of these would you like to do next year?

Content Menu

Outdoor Hobbies

Sports Hobbies

Travel Hobbies

The Arts & Creative Hobbies

Crafting Hobbies

Food & Cooking Hobbies

Games

Collecting Hobbies

Enrichment & Miscellaneous

Outdoor Hobbies

Hiking

Some of our friends are peak baggers, which is a form of collecting where you summit a list of peaks of your choice (ie the 14ers in Colorado). Also check out our 25 best hikes in the world.

Rock Climbing

It’s a great way to exercise without feeling like you’re exercising. Frequenting the local climbing gym has also been one of the best ways for us to make friends as we move from city to city. Here are some beginner climbing tips for getting started.

Canyoneering

Get started by going on a guided canyoneering trip. This is also a great guide to get started.

Slacklining

A lot of climbers also slackline to work on their balance, but there are also people who only slackline. This is the kit we want to set up at home once we move out of our tiny NYC apartment.

Mountaineering

Mountaineering is taking hiking to the next level by adding in more technical aspects. You can pick up gear at REI, and they can always show you the best gear. They also have the best return policy.

Mountain Biking

Explore the outdoors on two wheels. Pick up some mountain biking faves here.

Camping

Camping can be as relaxing or as extreme as you want. Just as an example, we have this cheaper tent for car camping and this one for long backpacking trips.

Glamping

If you want to experience the outdoors but still need the comforts, glamping is the way to go. This is one of our favorite glamping trips.

Kayaking, Canoeing, or SUP

Kayaking, canoeing, and/or SUP are great when you travel because it lets you explore areas most people don’t get to. This was one of our first times kayaking.

Rafting

Try this out by going on rafting trips with guides. You can then pick up some gear when you’re ready to take it more seriously.

Skiing or Snowboarding

We’ve met quite a few people who move to a new city just because of their love of skiing or snowboarding. If you’re worried about the cold, just be sure you have solid winter clothes and you’ll be all set.

Scuba Diving

We had always been interested in scuba diving and finally took classes and got certified in San Diego. We’re whiskey divers now.

Fishing, Crabbing, or Lobstering

Here’s a great beginner fishing kit to get your feet wet. We also wrote this guide on how to go crabbing on the Oregon Coast.

More: 25 Best Hikes in the World to Put On Your Bucket List

Sports Hobbies

Archery

A great way to start is by taking lessons at a local archery club.

Bowling

Regardless of how serious you take bowling, if you go more than a few times a year, you should pick up your own shoes to save money (men’s and women’s).

Cycling

Cycling comes in many different forms and is a great way to explore and challenge yourself. Check out cycling gear here.

Golfing

Golfing is great hobby to pick up and something you can do while traveling around the world. Read this book on stuff all golfers should know.

Horse Riding

Whether you want to become a full fledged equestrian or just horseback ride when you’re traveling, there are plenty of different options to get into this.

Ice Skating

Lutz Jump, Twizzle, and Salchow Jump around the ice. Or if you’re like us, just try to learn skating backwards first. If you’re in NYC, here are the best ice skating rinks to visit.

Martial Arts or Kickboxing

I’ve been taking kickboxing with a gf of mine on and off for a couple years. I would borrow gloves, but I always had my own hand wraps.

Parkour / Ninja Warrior

Ever since Ninja Warrior became popular, gyms have been popping up everywhere for free running and NW training. You can even start to build a homemade course.

Paintball

A couple of our friends were semi-pro paintballers. There are arenas all over the world and you can even pick up your own paintball gun to practice at home.

Running

Jacob used to run a 10k every year with his dad and has done a half marathon. Neither of us really enjoy it any more but we have a lot of friends who do. We love these shoes (men’s + women’s) since they’re great for travel and running.

Skateboarding

We picked up one of these pennyboards to learn this year but have been intimidated by the car and pedestrian traffic in NYC.

Surfing

We’ve been surfing a few times and even took surfing lessons while we lived in San Diego. We’d love to get back into when we’re closer to the ocean.

Swimming

Swimming is one of the best forms of exercise especially as you get older since you don’t put as much stress of your joints.

Join a Sports League

Join your local rec league, whether it’s basketball, tennis, ultimate frisbee, or Jacob’s latest obsession – pickleball.

Yoga

We’ve never gotten into yoga, but our yogi friends swear by these yoga mats.

More: 9 Wonderful Places to Go Ice Skating in NYC

BACK TO TOP

Travel Hobbies

Cruising

Cruising is a great way to get a taste of many different countries and cities. Best part? You don’t have to worry about transportation. Check out our ultimate cruise calendar.

Learn to Fly a Plane

Check out the local airport to take lessons.

Road Tripping

Road tripping is a great way to explore the area around your city and appreciate your greater backyard. To help you get started, check out our day trip guides and weekend trip guides.

RVing

We loved our 3 months living in an Airstream and recommend trying it out for a season or even a week. Even if you’re not a full timer, it’s great to travel 3-4 months out of the year.

Sailing

We’ve never entertained the idea of sailing full time since I get seasick, but we’re visiting some of our sailing friends hopefully this year. We’ll see if they change our minds.

More: The Ultimate RV Checklist – Everything You Need For Your First RV

The Arts and Creative Hobbies

Beatboxing

This is a great hobby you can practice anywhere without any extra equipment. Watch some videos to get started beatboxing.

Blogging

We started our blog as a hobby before it became our full time gig. If you want to start a blog, here’s how to start a blog in 5 easy steps. If you want to take it to the next level, check out our course on working with brands.

Calligraphy

You can take classes online, in person, or pick up guide books to help you get started.

Coloring

Coloring can be fun and therapeutic. We did it for a date night and checked out some beautiful travel books.

Dancing

We started taking hip hop classes last year, but after a few lessons our teacher had to leave the city. Now we need a new teacher! Maybe next we’ll try salsa, ballroom, belly dancing, or even pole dancing.

Drawing

Whether you just want to doodle, draw anime characters, or comics, you can learn how to draw. This book is so great for people who don’t think they can draw.

Engraving

There are a lot of different mediums to engrave and it can get really advanced, but it’s easy to pick up a kit for beginners.

Graffiti Art

It’s amazing to see how popular graffiti is and there are beautiful pieces all over the world. With its growing popularity, you can sign up for classes to get started too.

Graphic Design

GIMP and Inkscape are free and great for beginners. Once you get serious, you’ll want the Adobe Creative Cloud to step up your game.

Impersonations

I’ve always wished I could do some basic impersonations. Check out our friend who’s amazing at impersonations!

Improv Class

Whether you want to perform or not, it’s a great way to get over a fear of what people think about you.

Juggling

Our neighbor has a set of juggling balls on his coffee table so that anyone can pick them up to try. With a little bit of practice, you can do some impressive things.

Latte Art

Release your inner barista by whipping up some latte art. Even if you don’t succeed, you can sip up your messy creation. Here’s a great book for inspiration.

Magic

Lately, we watched Magic for Humans, which has piqued our interest in magic. Start with a nice deck of cards to practice your sleight of hand.

Musical Instrument

We both grew up playing piano but lost a lot of what we learned. We still bring our books around with the intention to start practicing again.

Painting

I’ve always wanted to learn how to paint. I took art classes when I was younger and Jacob bought me an easel a few years back so I can start again.

Photography

No matter what camera you have, you can always learn how to shoot better photos. If you’re looking for a beginner DSLR, check out this one.

Podcasting

We’ve gotten to know many different people who have their own podcast. Some do it for a hobby and others do it for a living. This set is all you need to get started.

Pottery

This tool set has the highest ratings.

Puppetry

Did you know that Jacob and his brother created a kid’s puppet show? The initial plan was to learn how to puppeteer as well, but they quickly learned how complex puppeteering is. If you want to dabble and practice puppeteering, buy a couple of puppets or make your own if you’re feeling crafty.

Videography / Filmmaking

Learn how to capture and edit videos so you can create beautiful memories of your own travels. You can even learn to shoot with just your phone by shooting with a gimbal.

Voice Lessons

If you want to take your singing to the next level, consider getting voice lessons to help you improve. The exercises help so much.

Writing

Writing can come in many different forms. Join a writing group, or join NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) in November where you write a novel in a month to help motivate you.

Writing Music

Try your hand at writing your very own music. When you’re comfortable, you can even try performing it at local open mics.

More: How to Start a Blog in 5 Easy Steps

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Crafting Hobbies

Balloon Twisting

I did not know this was a thing until one of our friends got into it before his kid’s birthday party. All it took was a basic kit and a bunch of YouTube videos.

Candle Making

Learn to make candles with a DIY kit then enjoy your creations at home or give them out as a gifts.

Cross-Stitching / Embroidery

This is another great hobby that has a ton of resources and kits so that you can do it on your own.

Flower Arranging

Have you ever tried arranging your own flowers. It’s a lot harder than it looks. If you love having fresh flowers at home, this is a great hobby. You can start with this book.

Jewelry Making

I have some basic tools and have learned from friends who make and sell jewelry.

Knitting / Crocheting

I’ve done some basic knitting, which can be relaxing. You can also make nice handmade gifts for your friends.

Leather Crafting

This is a great starter kit for leather crafting.

Origami

Start your love for Origami with a basic kit, or nerd out with Jacob by making these crazy Star Wars ones.

Scrapbooking

Scrapbooking is a great way to work on something that you’ll always cherish. Plus, with so many pre-made accessories, you can easily make it your own.

Sewing

This is a great practical skill that will save you money. Since I’m short, I always need to hem my pants, which can add up. To start, just pick up a basic sewing machine.

Soap Making

I always think of Fight Club when someone brings up of soap making, but you can always make something more artisanal.

Woodworking

Want to become friends with Nick Offerman? Get into woodworking so you can chat about one of his favorite hobbies. Here’s a book to get you started.

BACK TO TOP

Food & Cooking Hobbies

Baking

Bread, brownies, cookies, scones… oh man, my mouth is watering just from the thought of this. Start with the Baking Bible.

Brew Your Own Beer

If you love craft beers, why not try making your own? Here’s a kit to get your started.

Canning / Pickling / Making Jam

Learn to can, pickle, and jam some of your favorite foods. This has over 350 recipes.

Coffee Roasting

This is another great hobby to turn one love into another. If you already love drinking coffee, try roasting your own beans.

Cooking

We’re all about learning easy recipes since neither of us love cooking (check them out here). We’re probably going to try some InstaPot recipes starting next year.

Food Styling

I’ve always wanted to learn food styling, especially since we take so many food photos. Pick up a book or take local classes.

Gardening

I’ve tried urban gardening, but have a black thumb. I’m always jealous of people who can grow anything. Apparently having plants in your home can reduce stress and improve productivity.

Mixology

If you love hosting parties, this is a great hobby to get into. Right now, all we can make is an old fashion, but if you want to get started, check out this guide to over 1000 cocktails.

Wine Tasting

If you’ve ever wanted to become better versed in wine, try taking a wine tasting class. You can also get this book to help you learn more about wines.

Games

Board Games

There are endless board games out there. Our recent favorites are Guesstures and Pit.

Chess

If I were to play, I’d get this chess board.

Cosplaying

If you love dressing up, try cosplaying.

Gaming

Lately we love playing Overcooked with friends.

Poker

Have a weekly poker night or play other card games. If you’re serious, you could even join tournaments.

Puzzles

Puzzles can be so therapeutic. Find some puzzles of your favorite places.

Trivia Night

If only I had a team of professors… I used to love going to Trivia Night. Even if you don’t win, at least you learn some random and useless facts.

Collecting Hobbies

Astronomy

Find the closest dark sky for some amazing stargazing or attend a star party. We’ll put out a post about the best upcoming events to look out for soon.

Birding

During our travels, we met so many birders. Also if you get into wildlife photography, these flashcards can help you with birds.

Foraging

Foraging is a great hobby if you love to cook too. This book will help you identify, harvest, and prepare edible plants.

Get a New Pet

I wouldn’t say we collect them, but we love our cats and really enjoy spending time with them. We’ve also recently met a lot of people who love breeding fish.

More: 15 Incredible Weekend Trips from Las Vegas

BACK TO TOP

Enrichment & Miscellaneous

Book Club

This is a great way to do something social and help you reach your reading goals.

Geneology

Start off by getting a DNA test and see how much of your genealogy you can track.

Home Improvement

If you spend a lot of time at home, this is a great hobby to make your space more of your own.

Keep a Bullet Journal

Bullet journaling is a great way to keep records of your day-to-day without the pressure of writing. The Field Notes Expedition is perfect for anyone who travels a lot.

Learn a New Language

Learn a new language with Rosetta Stone. I’ve tried Italian and now want to learn Spanish. How about you?

Learn How to Code

Learn how to code or web design so you create your own sites or help others do it.

Learn Sign Language

If you know anyone who uses sign language, then try learning sign language as well. These Youtube videos can help you get started.

Learn to Write with Non-Dominate Hand

I’ve always wanted to be ambidextrous. Practice writing or other daily task with your non-dominate hand.

Meditation

I started using a meditation app to help me sleep. It’s become a great habit that I’ll continue next year.

Minimalism / Declutter

We started regularly decluttering after we started moving every year. It’s been incredibly freeing. This is a great documentary to check out if you’re interested in minimalism.

Public Speaking

We’ve talked about joining Toastmasters to get over my fear of public speaking.

Volunteering

Pick something you care about and find a way to get involved with a local organization.

Favorite Quotes on Hobbies

If you need a few more words of motivation to pick up a hobby next year, here are some more quotes I loved.

“I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited.” – Sylvia Plath

“Legendary innovators like Franklin, Snow, and Darwin all possess some common intellectual qualities—a certain quickness of mind, unbounded curiosity—but they also share one other defining attribute. They have a lot of hobbies.” – Steven Johnson

Always find time for things that make you happy to be alive. – Unknown

Do you have any hobbies? What hobbies have you had in the past?

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Esther + Jacob

Esther and Jacob are the founders of Local Adventurer, which is one of the top 5 travel blogs in the US. They believe that adventure can be found both near and far and hope to inspire others to explore locally. They explore a new city in depth every year and currently base themselves in NYC.

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A Solo Traveler’s Guide on How to Meet People While Traveling

Photo by Oskar Krawczyk via Unsplash.

Traveling alone has its perks: You get to do what you want, when you want, discover new and honest things about the world and yourself, and enjoy an uplifting, mindful traveling experience without someone else’s influences. But after a while, talking to yourself and eating another meal without being able to share funny thoughts and observations about the day with an another human get... awfully lonesome.

This post originally appeared on FY!S.

In late 2015, I embarked on a solo trip to Asia that lasted nine months. At first, the idea of going at it alone filled me with excitement and trepidation. No one could deny me from catching Pokémon at parks, seeing how many plates of kaiten sushi I can put away by myself, and going on day excursions on a whim. On the flip side, solo travel has its limitations. I couldn’t exactly eat what I wanted because the portions were too big, or I was too self-conscious about wandering into a family restaurant by myself. Or, I couldn’t go to certain places because I didn’t feel safe. It didn’t take long before I realized that many of my experiences while traveling, while fun solo, could be way more gratifying when they could be shared with a companion or two.

To combat the loneliness of solo travel, I simply started putting myself in (safe) situations that let me meet people while traveling. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting and hanging out with many, many friends–old and new–all over the world by using a variety of resources. Some I knew beforehand, but many more I met while I was on the road. I still talk to a lot of them on the reg. Here’s what I know.

To Meet People, You Need to Get Over Talking to Strangers

Before we get to the actual tactics of how to meet people while traveling, I recognize that your comfort level with talking to complete strangers is probably different from mine. Many of the things I’m about to discuss wouldn’t fly so easily if you’re shy, and that’s fine. Shyness is not a bad thing, but wanting to meet people while traveling is actually the perfect opportunity for you to build the courage to speak to more and more strangers.

My friends and I at Mt. Baldy in Southern California.

It’s scary, but take solace in the fact that if you go out on a limb and fall flat on your face, no one knew or cared about you to begin with, so what do you really have to lose?

If anything, you’d gain a little spunk. It’s easy to imagine all the ways that you’ll get burned, but if you reach out as a traveler, most people—locals or fellow travelers—reach right back as long as you’re genuine and transparent. And if they don’t, it’s not you who sucks anyway. Still, talking to strangers is one thing, but be okay with the fact that not every person you meet is going to be your Best Facebook Friend Forever.

You will be forced to talk to a lot of strangers. But the worst that can happen is you get ignored or encounter some rudeness, but that’s everyone, anywhere, and honestly, the person isn’t going to remember you in a couple of hours.

Five Ways to Make Conversations Easier

When it comes down to it, starting any conversation that doesn’t begin and die with “Wow, some weather today, huh?” is a skill. You wouldn’t know it when you meet me, but I am a pretty big introvert. I’ve bumbled through awkward encounters. I’ve often struggled to initiate or restart conversations. But I got better at it. I also made it a rule to have conversations that didn’t center around, “So what do you do?” as an extra challenge and also because I despised the question. In the end, I came up with a few things that you could do to let conversations flow more easily.

1. Actually Be a Tourist

There’s no shame in being a tourist. Embrace your rose-colored lenses and sense of uncertainty and wide-eyed wonder (but skip the douchey behavior, obviously)! Along the same vein, Nomadic Matt points out that you should try joining local tours and groups. “For example, take a small group tour from a local. While on the tour, ask all of the questions you want about local life and what it’s like to grow up in that region (without being annoying).”

People treat tourists differently, in a good way but also sometimes in a bad way. I’ve found that people are usually willing to answer questions if you seem lost and appear non-threatening. Henrik Jeppesen, one of few amazing travelers who’s visited every country in the world, told me that he’d go up to strangers with: “‘Hi, can you recommend anything to see or do here?’ Not only have I met great people this way, but have also been offered a place to stay on nights where I had nowhere to go.”

On the flip side, be wary of people who approach you aggressively and seem too Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood friendly. You never know, they really could be that nice, but I’d probably bail to be on the safer side.

There’s no use pretending you’re not a tourist or newbie. Be curious and ask questions as a way to spur easy conversation.

2. Offer to Take a Picture

If you want to meet other travelers, you can park your butt at a popular tourist spot. You can rest easy knowing that 75 percent of the people there are fellow travelers, 20 percent are locals trying to sell or peddle something, and 5 percent might be thieves or people that are up to no good. That wasn’t a very scientific breakdown, but you get the gist.

Oftentimes you’ll spot a solo traveler like yourself trying to take a selfie. If you’re up for it, offer to help the person take a picture. From there, you can ask if they’re also traveling alone and if they’d be okay with you buddying up for a couple hours or a day. This has worked really well for me.

3. Make Your Interests Known

On my travel backpack sit a PaRappa the Rapper, a Gudetama keychain, and anime stuff that I swap out every so often. They’re easy to spot and broadcast my interest in cute, geeky things. I did this intentionally for people who recognized these characters. I mean, anyone who’s played PaRappa or adores the silliness of Gudetama can’t be all bad. There were a surprising number of occasions, in fact, where people weren’t shy about coming up to me to point out my good tastes. More importantly, they did the hard part of approaching me, so at this point, we had something to talk about.

It doesn’t have to be keychains. Maybe it’s a book you’re reading, a notebook you like to scribble or doodle in, or a sticker on a water bottle. Some of your belongings can be so bizarre that they will spark someone’s interest, so having these things visible often make a great ice breaker.

On the other hand, you can be the one to point out what you like. People like compliments if you make it about them. Don’t just say, “I like your shoes.” You can say something like, “Your shoes look great on you. Where did you buy them?” And that opens up the opportunity to say something about how you’re not from around the area and could use some advice and yadda yadda.

As a traveler, you more than likely have things that can be great conversation starters. Keep them visible when you want to attract attention, but of course, be smart about where you do this.

4. Make a “Wrong” Assumption

Not too long ago, I sat at a coffee shop in London and noticed this dude next to me typing away on his new Macbook with TouchBar. I said jokingly, “You must have a ton of dongles in your bag.” (Hey, it was a reach.) He immediately pointed out that he didn’t, but opined that it was a frustrating design flaw and warned me to wait for the next iteration. This led us to talking about Apple, technology, and the best fish ‘n’ chips in London (it’s Bailey’s).

Okay, so I went out on a limb and I had to have been somewhat observant and updated on technology, but the point is, people normally don’t like to tell you squat if it feels like you’re interrogating them. They do, however, love to correct you when you’re wrong (don’t we all?). I learned this from speaking coach Sharí Alexander.

So if you want to talk to someone or continue a conversation but you’re not sure what to say, try making a simple, innocent assumption, as long as it’s not deeply personal. Don’t worry if you’re wrong because if you are, they’ll gladly correct you and reveal more information about them, which leads to more things to talk about.

Next time try making an innocent assumption (e.g., “This place is the hands-down the best ramen in the city.”). If you’re wrong, you still start a good conversation.

5. Have Little “Gifts” to Give

Wherever you go, you’ll find cheap trinkets and doodads at souvenir shops. I always make sure to pick up a couple of interesting ones that aren’t lame magnets, keychains, or anything heavy. For example, in Japan, I picked up a handful of shrine charms. If there’s nothing interesting like that, I’d settle for a bag of M&Ms or something sweet that can be shared.

These come in handy for when I meet cool people and want to help make someone’s day more awesome. As Peter Shank (whom I learned the M&M tip from via Sol Orwell) points out, M&Ms are cheap and a great way to bring a smile to someone’s face, which can make you smile. Smiles all around, folks, so everybody wins.

Small tokens and gifts tend to make interactions more pleasant.

I don’t always use these “tricks.” It’s important to let conversations unravel organically and avoid overthinking things too much. If your interaction has to fizzle out and neither of you feels like talking about the weather again, then for crying out loud, don’t force it.

Hostels Are an Easy Way to Meet Travelers, But They’re Not for Everyone

Staying at hostels is an obvious way to save on travel funds and meet other travelers. They’re fine for solo travelers…at least temporarily. I actually chose to avoid hostels myself, only choosing to stop at one or two in the last year or so. I avoid hostels for the following reasons:

People tend to be too young: I’m not a crotchety “get off my lawn” sort of person, but in my experience, the hostel crowd gets too wild for me. I’m not interested in partying it up anymore. It’s fine occasionally, but I’d much rather spend my days not hungover and useless.

Lack of privacy gets old fast: If the party crowd is your thing, there’s still the issue of privacy, of which you really have none. So take that into account.

You can’t get much work done: This is probably the biggest disadvantage for me. As a freelancing nomad, I get emails or work done at odd hours of the day sometimes, so if I had to work when coffee shops were closed it’d be really inconvenient to find a suitable place for focused work.

Hostels are fine for up to a week-long stay, but eventually, you might get tired of the lack of privacy and hanging out with other travelers. Other travelers are cool people to meet, but the real travel experiences come from meeting and befriending locals. And that’s why I much prefer to stay at Airbnbs.

Hostels are great for meeting travelers, but would be difficult if you’re a remote worker, not in the party mood, or want privacy.

Your Airbnb Host Is Your “In” to More Locals

I’ve written a huge guide on to how to use Airbnb and ensure you pick a suitable Airbnb for long-term stays anywhere in the world. It’s convenient for long-term travelers like myself, but I also make it a point to stay with a host who also lives on-site and is a local.

Most hosts are friendly toward travelers, some go above and beyond, and others still might charge you if you want them to show you around. You should note these in the description and check out the host’s personality and reviews before you book an Airbnb.

Usually, I try to bring a small gift for my host upon meeting him or her as a “thanks for having me” sort of gift (yes, even though I’m paying). I’ve found this to be extremely helpful with warming them up to me a bit more. I seem less like a weirdo traveler, and there’s a greater chance that they invite me to do things with them. I also ask plenty of questions about what they like to do and eat, so after a couple of days of knowing them, it’s easier to throw out an invitation to do or eat something they like. Eventually, this leads to meeting their friends, too. Plus, a lot of the time I get to meet the other Airbnb guests (if the host rents out multiple rooms).

I will note that not all my Airbnb host friendships have panned out the way I mentioned, but if the chemistry is right they are definitely a fantastic way to see, eat, and do local things, as well as meet other locals. Similar services like Couchsurfing and BeWelcome can also connect you with other local hosts.

I usually stay with Airbnb hosts who are locals and love to make friends with them to learn more about the city. Oftentimes, this leads to me meeting their friends and more locals.

Your Social Network Is Very Powerful, So Use It

I’m active on social media, so I usually let the Interwebs know where I am or traveling to. Before I go anywhere, I might tell Facebook where I’m headed and add, “Who’s a cool friend of yours that you think I should know?!” This results in a fair number of connections with friends of friends, who are often open to hanging out and sometimes becoming my own good friends.

Kanpai with my good friend, Justin!

Then there’s Twitter and Instagram. I’ve been lucky to have a healthy following that isn’t afraid to tweet back at me or message me on Facebook or Instagram to let me know what they think I should do or see. I appreciate these tips. There have even been instances where people reach out and ask to meet up. I’ve obliged with almost every request.

Of course, I’m always concerned the person is actually a psycho, so I make it a point to meet in public places during the daytime. So far they’ve all been wonderful people, but still gotta be smart and safe.

If you don’t have a following, that’s okay. You can use social media to follow your favorite people or search certain hashtags and reach out to other travelers. For example, on Instagram, any hashtag with the city’s name and something like #travel spits out tons of people also traveling. Comment or message them! This takes effort obviously, but remember, nothing good happens from taking no action.

Jodi Ettenberg, from food and travel site Legal Nomads, touches base with experts in her chosen field. “I find that meeting over your passion project or interest is the best way to do so,” she says. “For me, that’s food. I’ve taken to contacting fellow food-obsessed people who are locals or expats in the place I’m visiting. I ask them if they have meetups or events they can suggest for me to meet others with similar interests. While it’s also fun to meet people serendipitously, striking up a conversation at a restaurant or market, this way I get to not only make some new friends, but do so in an industry I’m passionate about.”

Use your social media to see if you can connect with friends of friends, or heck, even followers and people you admire.

Camp Out at Lounges, Bars, or Coffee Shops with Wi-Fi

All travelers have one thing in common: the need for Wi-Fi. If you head to a Starbucks, McDonald’s, a bar, or lounge that offers Wi-Fi, you’re almost certain to bump into other travelers there.

Seek Out Local Facebook Groups

I used to play a lot of ultimate Frisbee. On a whim in Tokyo one day, I decided to check on Google if there were any local Frisbee groups. There were, and they led me to a Facebook group that was active and had practice every Tuesdays and Sundays. They were about to have a pick-up game in two days. Here was my opportunity to enjoy something I loved doing anyway—in another country no less—and meet new people. I only had to make the trek to show up. I was hesitant at first because not knowing a single person was terrifying, but I’m glad I made the effort. They were very welcoming; I met new people and friends that I still talk to today.

Since this discovery, I’ve made it a point to figure out what I wanted to do at a certain destination and Google it. Be it “sumo wrestling tickets in Japan“, “learn archery lessons”, or “make panda rice balls in bento lunch boxes”, I made sure to search and then check Facebook groups for those interests within the city. More often than not, these groups have a combination of expats, fellow travelers, and English-speaking locals that you can message and meet.

Facebook groups are an awesome way to meet English-speaking locals and transplants.

Find People on a Number of “Meetup” Websites and Apps

Everyone immediately thinks of Tinder and Meetup.com, but there are actually a ton of websites that help connect you to other travelers and people who want to meet. Some are specific to countries, such as LEVART in Japan, but here are a handful that you can use anywhere:

Hacker Paradise: Hacker Paradise is a traveling community of digital nomads and other location-independent professionals. They go on multi-month trips, but you can tag along for as little as two weeks if you want to develop more professional relationships.

TravBuddy: TravBuddy combines the usefulness of TripAdvisor and Yelp, but is also a platform that lets you meet other travelers.

ePenPal: This app connects you with locals from all over the world and the best part is that it translates your messages for you (via Google Translate so it’s not perfect).

BonAppetour: This is like Airbnb but for dinner.

Badoo: Badoo seems to be a cross between Facebook for non-friends and a dating service. You get to meet with locals, even if you’re on a time crunch, but keep in mind that a lot of people use this to hook up. Depending on what you’re looking for, Badoo may or may not be for you.

You can also find local events on Facebook and Yelp to go to. The 21st century is amazing like that.

Above All, Keep Yourself Safe

Of course, you need to balance all of these things with safety. In particular, when you meet a stranger via any of these channels or even get into an Uber or Lyft, send a picture and profile of the person with someone you trust. If anything at all seems off about a situation or person, move on. Don’t feel bad about bailing.

As a solo female traveler, I try not to let my FOMO get the best of me if I feel really uncomfortable about a situation. Whenever I travel between places or go off on a new hike somewhere in the mountains, I tell my friends back home, my host, and whomever where I am and when I expect to be back.

It’s important to designate someone to take action after a certain number of days of not hearing from you, or you run the risk of that person “waiting and seeing.” Usually, I say something dire like, “If you don’t hear from me by this day, please call Liam Neeson and start looking for me.” I remember to check in so they don’t worry or call Liam for no reason. I wouldn’t want that happening.

It should be clear by now that you have so many tools at your disposal to meet people that the only things you really need are a desire and a moderate amount of effort. And even then, there are no guarantees, but it doesn’t hurt to try. Bottom-line, making friends and meeting different people are just like back home: you need to be proactive, keep an open mind, and emphasize safety!

The Solo Traveler’s Guide on How to Meet People While Traveling | FY!S