#and of COURSE if i consider every adverse experience a pattern or pileup. rather than a random occurrence of life. i will feel hopeless | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jelliebeanbitch · 11 months ago

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so like basically i have to have hope. and then pretty much i’ll be primed to notice it more when those hopes come true, simply because i was thinking about it.

so this year we’re doing cbt. essentially

happy new year mwah

#idk this year was hard #and as more adverse events kept happening i started counting them #like keeping a mental list #and whenever a new bad thing happened i added it to the list #so that each bad event was not just that bad event. it was also a heavy accumulation of every bad event #and that made me feel depressed and victimized #and i made some selfish choices as a result. in addition to just feeling horrible #i don’t want to have that list anymore i want a better list #i want to feel overwhelmed by the accumulation of HAPPY things that happen to me (including little ones #cuz like of fucking course hard things will happen in 2024 that’s how life works!!!#and of COURSE if i consider every adverse experience a pattern or pileup. rather than a random occurrence of life. i will feel hopeless #and i cannot rely on No Adverse Events to feel better i have to change my goddamn brain #maybe i’ll do something stupid and therapist-approved like literally listing nice things every day idk #anyway #thanks so much for coming to this tumblr therapy session #i love you #new years #rambling #mental health #depression

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