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waifuoftomonori · 2 months ago

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Aki After Tentacles: Chapter 6 - Complex (Part 1)

[Story Summary: After defending the Princess from a tentacled Void-like monster, Akifusa wakes up biologically female. The only way for him to regain his former body (and hopefully get over his newfound attraction to his male best friend, who also happens to be Shiki’s husband) is to become pregnant. Or: Tomonori remains unconvinced that he deserves nice things.

A/N: This one needs a lot of trimming. Sorry in advance.] *** “I’m having troubles with my wife, Kotokura-dono.”

Tomonori tried to keep his eyebrows from shooting up as he paused in organizing the papers on his makeshift workstation in Shinetsu Temple and lifted his gaze. “Your wife?”

The speaker— one of the lower-ranking civil servants, Nishina no Takeshi— flinched at the eye contact but took a faltering step forward, lowering his voice. “I’m sorry to bother you— I know you’re probably busy, and it’s a personal matter— but I don’t know who else to ask. And everyone says you’re… proficient in this area.” His face reddened. “Any advice you can give would be appreciated.”

A suspicion tugged at the back of Tomonori’s mind, causing his own cheeks to prickle for a moment, but he swiftly dismissed it and summoned a smile. “I can spare a few moments. Go on.” Maintaining proper barriers between one’s personal and professional life was important, but so was securing the trust of one’s subordinates, and it was the first time Takeshi had ever approached him with an issue unrelated to work.

And surely he was just being paranoid about the precise nature of these marital troubles. His mind had only traveled in that direction because of his own precarious situation. Takeshi was a publicly reserved man; it seemed reasonable that merely raising the subject of his marriage, especially to admit difficulties, would fluster him. His question probably pertained to an argument about chores or balancing work and romance or perhaps a lack of sensitivity on his end concerning his wife’s biological cycles. (Despite Tomonori’s best efforts, an appalling number of men in Kifu persisted in believing that monthly bleeding was somehow evidence of moral impurity in the female body— though most of them knew better by now than to mention this theory in his or Shiki’s presence.)

But the instant Takeshi opened his mouth again, a shiver of premonition rippled icily down Tomonori’s spine. “Suzume doesn’t react the way she once did when we kiss or… or do more than that. She doesn’t protest, but she no longer seems enthusiastic; her body is going through the motions, but her mind is obviously elsewhere.”

Tomonori kept his expression carefully neutral, despite the blush he could feel creeping back up his neck. “I see.”

Takeshi failed miserably to take the hint. “It wasn’t always like this. On our first night together, she—”

“Why are you telling me this?” he cut in, before Takeshi could embarrass his poor, dissatisfied wife any further. Perhaps she’d like you better if you tried respecting her privacy for a change, Nishina-san.

“I… I just wanted to give you as much information as possible. For context.”

Tomonori drew a slow, deep breath and managed to retain his composure. “Very well. Let me rephrase that. Why are you asking me, in particular, for help with this matter? I’m honored that you value my opinion, but I’ve been married less than a year—” He stopped. Takeshi’s face was coloring again. “Surely not everyone is saying I’m proficient at… at that.”

The other man gave a helpless shrug. “Probably not everyone.” His tone indicated it was still quite a few people.

Tomonori suppressed a groan, settling instead for a brief rub of his brow. He had a feeling he knew who was to blame for this sudden development— unless of course it wasn’t sudden, and Shiki had been gushing behind his back. (His emotions were thoroughly mixed about this possibility.) Either way, there would have to be words… not that they mattered at this point. The damage had most likely already been done.

“Regardless,” he said, meeting Takeshi’s gaze again, “this is hardly my area of expertise. Furutsugu-dono has much more practical experience—”

“I can’t possibly go to Furutsugu with this. I mean, Furutsugu-dono.” Takeshi shifted uncomfortably. “There are… some unsavory rumors about him. I would rather not let him know that my relationship with my wife isn’t as strong as it could be.”

Tomonori sighed. “I see your point.” Despite himself, his eyes flickered back to the papers on the desk. Autumn was rapidly approaching— harvest season, the busiest of the year. So far, the tsuchigumo refugees had transitioned smoothly to daily life in Kifu, but most of them came from nomadic tribes with no agricultural experience. They would learn through practice, but the budget would have to account for—

“So what do you think I should do differently? Are there any techniques you’d suggest, or…”

“Perhaps this is a discussion you should be having with Suzume and not me. I can’t answer your question, because I don’t know her, but I can assure you she probably knows her own preferences perfectly well.” Only long years of practice masking his emotions kept him from snapping the words. “Talk to her,” he added, to soften the blow a little. “Listen to what she has to say. That applies to other areas of your marriage as well.”

Takeshi stared at him with wide eyes as if the simple idea of direct communication with his wife had never before crossed his mind. “I… I’ll try that,” he eventually said, dropping into a bow. “Thank you for the advice, Kotokura-dono.”

“It’s no bother,” he lied, smiling.

As soon as Takeshi had disappeared, he rolled up the papers for ease of transport, scooped them into his arms, and briskly departed for the sanctity of his private study. Usually Tomonori liked to spend half the day (sometimes the morning, sometimes the afternoon) either working in one of the shrine’s more public areas, as he’d intended today, or walking around the village to check that everything was running smoothly and to make any necessary modifications if it wasn’t. He also used the time to chat with the villagers and encouraged them to come to him with any problems, which he worked to resolve as efficiently as possible and brought to Shiki’s attention as needed. Although the bulk of his work still took place on paper, his shoulders hunched over his desk, he recognized the importance of staying in touch with reality.

He’d planned to spend the afternoon in his study, but already he could feel a headache throbbing behind his temples. Somehow he suspected that a fairly large proportion of the concerns villagers brought to him today would be similar to Takeshi’s.

Why did Akifusa have to be so loud?

Shiki was loud too, sometimes, but that was different. She had spent years suffering in silence, determined to face her fate with courage and a minimum of complaint. She deserved to be loud now. He rejoiced in every moan, every cry, every gasp and plea and sigh his touch wrested from her lips— especially the ones that happened to take the form of his name, though he had to admit “Master” had grown on him— and he wouldn’t be ashamed if everyone from Kifu to the capital to the distant lands across the Western sea heard her. (Embarrassed, perhaps, but not ashamed.) Sometimes he wished they would.

Most of the time, though, Tomonori had no desire for the entire village to know the inner workings of his personal life, nor did he wish to know the sordid details of theirs— especially given the level of ignorant brutality he already knew a fair number of the men possessed regarding the female body.

He couldn’t think about that now. Dwelling on it would only agitate him further. He paused to collect his breath before continuing across the courtyard.

He didn’t want a reputation for this, especially since word of Furutsugu’s dalliances with unhappy housewives had begun to spread. The thought of cultivating similar rumors about himself, even if only via careful deception, made Tomonori ill, and it would be cruel to Shiki besides, even if she was fully aware of the lie. Perhaps he should start planting favorable gossip about someone else— Kodonomae? he seemed like he’d take it in stride— to draw some of the attention off himself for a while. Then again, that could raise the question of how he knew about Kodonomae’s bedroom prowess—

“Tomonori!” A high, breathless, discomfitingly loud voice rang out behind him, intruding on his scheming as per usual.

Reluctantly, he slowed his pace, allowing Akifusa to catch up. “You’ve made things very difficult for me this morning,” Tomonori said, shooting him a cursory glance before fixing his gaze forward again. At least they’d almost reached his study.

He heard Akifusa gulp. “This morning? I… I don’t know what I did this morning.”

“Of course you don’t.” Predictably, Akifusa bristled in his peripheral vision; Tomonori allowed himself a quick smirk before concluding, “Because you didn’t do anything.”

“Huh? But you said—”

“I’m talking about your inability to keep your voice down when discussing sensitive matters. Get the door for me, will you? My arms are full.”

Of course, he was more than capable of shifting some scrolls under his arm and opening the door for himself, but he enjoyed watching Akifusa’s ears redden as he hastened to obey. “Thank you, Akifusa,” he said quietly as he slipped past, stifling a laugh as they flushed even redder.

Once inside, he deposited the papers on his desk and turned to find Akifusa still hovering outside the doorway, gaze lowered to his feet as if he worried he’d trigger an avalanche of books and scrolls just by looking at the racks too long. Evidently he had taken to heart Tomonori’s repeated injunction to avoid setting foot in his study without his express permission. Tomonori was momentarily tempted to shut the door in his face— he just wanted some peace this morning so he could immerse himself in work and mentally prepare for the barrage of covert stares and explicit questions he would suffer in the village later, and the idea of Akifusa’s outraged arousal at the reminder of who wielded the power held a certain appeal— but he stifled the urge with a sigh. “Are you going to come in or keep standing in the door looking like a scolded puppy?”

“I can come in?”

“That was implied, yes. Just don’t touch anything.”

“I won’t,” Akifusa said solemnly, hesitating one final moment before crossing the threshold. His storm-gray eyes widened as they scanned the walls, a tinge of pink entering his cheeks; it took him a moment to recover enough to close the door. “Th-thank you for honoring me with this privilege, Tomonori.”

“I pulled you in here just a few days ago,” he pointed out, biting back a smile despite himself. Once again, Akifusa was tossing him the reins without even realizing it, thrusting control into his hands without even a semblance of a struggle. Poor, helpless, naive Aki-kun, trembling before he’d even been touched. Why did he always have to do this?

He needed to be taught a lesson.

But that could wait. There were one or two things they needed to address first.

Akifusa had gone back to gazing around the room, lips parted and chest heaving in a way that suggested panting— panting? how was he this excited already?— so Tomonori stepped forward and tugged his chin into place, holding his stare for a moment before letting him go. “Was there a reason you wanted to talk to me?” It was probably best to get that out of the way first, before unfulfilled desire overrode Akifusa’s ability to make coherent statements. Although Tomonori liked him best when Akifusa’s vocabulary was reduced to Tomo, more, and please, along with an assortment of whines and whimpers, he had to admit this state wasn’t conducive to actual conversation.

“Yes.” Akifusa straightened, a glimmer of clarity returning to his expression. “There are two reasons.”

“You’re not getting more than one kiss this morning, no matter how much you beg,” he said dryly, provoking a deeper flush.

“Th-that’s not what I was going to ask! Well, one of them was, but not both.” Akifusa paused, eyes flickering to Tomonori’s mouth; a small lump slid down his throat. “Please—”

“We’ll get to that. What’s your other question?”

Akifusa peeled his gaze back up and took a deep breath. “When can we try again?” His blush darkened to the usual vibrant vermillion, but he didn’t look away.

Tomonori stared at him, unable to keep his eyebrows from rising. “You want to try again already?” It had barely been twelve hours. Considering how things had ended last night, he’d been fully prepared to give Akifusa space for a few days to sort out his conflicting, no-doubt-complicated feelings about his own body, Tomonori’s body, and the situation as a whole.

He supposed he should have known better. None of Akifusa’s feelings were ever complicated. It was a quality Tomonori envied as much as he pitied.

Akifusa nodded rapidly. The comparison to a puppy had been apt; Tomonori could practically hear his tail wagging. (Maybe that also explained why his head made such a tempting target for pats these days, now that Tomonori no longer needed to wait until he was sitting or else stretch his arm up to deliver them.) “Whenever you’re ready. Whatever night. Well, the night would work better, but day too—”

“I haven’t even had a chance to talk to Shiki yet,” he interrupted. It wasn’t exactly true; she’d been awake when he’d returned to their room last night. She’d given him a curious look as he slid into bed beside her, but she hadn’t pressed the matter, and they hadn’t discussed it while they snuggled this morning, either. He had no intention of avoiding the subject entirely— he’d planned to bring it up today at some point— but he’d wanted a chance to calm down and collect his thoughts first.

Besides, recently it felt like every other conversation they had related to Akifusa in some way. Some of that was probably unavoidable, and she kept insisting she wasn’t jealous, but Tomonori still felt the need to preserve what the two of them had— to carve out some time each day for Shiki alone, to leave some areas of their relationship untouched by Akifusa’s shadow. Mentioning Akifusa in a sexual context while the two of them lay curled in each other’s arms on the futon they’d shared every night since their marriage would have felt like a violation of those unspoken boundaries— especially after all of Akifusa’s little noises, all of his blushes and shivers and begging, had left Tomonori uncomfortably aroused even by the time he’d slipped under the covers.

“Oh.” Akifusa’s shoulders slumped, but he didn’t protest. “I understand.”

Tomonori sighed, relenting a little. “I’ll have an answer for you by dinnertime. It’ll probably be sometime within the next week.”

“The next week?”

“You’ll survive.” Akifusa looked uncertain but nodded; Tomonori pressed his lips together to avoid laughing. “I can’t promise anything more specific until I’ve spoken with Shiki.”

“All right.” Akifusa paused, forehead wrinkling as his blush renewed its efforts; he appeared to be having a serious internal debate, emotions flickering one at a time over those guileless gray-blue eyes. From the shifts in his expression alone, Tomonori was forming a pretty clear picture of how the argument was unfolding. The temptation to laugh intensified. Eventually, Akifusa drew in a deep, unsteady breath and looked up, cheeks a boiling crimson. “I… I liked the blindfold. Even though it didn’t work like you said it would.”

Tomonori blinked. He hadn’t been expecting that, exactly. Or, rather, he hadn’t expected Akifusa to admit it so readily. “You liked it, or your body did?”

“I… B-both of us did. You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

A smile tickled his lips. “Never.” Not until Akifusa gave in and admitted that it was an embarrassingly transparent excuse to deny all responsibility for having more-than-platonic feelings for his best friend, anyway. Maybe he was right and he hadn’t felt a grain of attraction to Tomonori until his transformation; maybe it had amplified feelings that were merely lying dormant. Either way, refusing to examine it in any more detail seemed like a cheap way out. “You enjoyed being blindfolded, though?”

In defiance of reason, which suggested there couldn’t possibly be any more blood in Akifusa’s body that hadn’t rushed to his head by this point, his blush found a way to deepen. “Y-yes. In fact, I… I wouldn’t mind doing it again. If you wanted.”

Tomonori’s breath quickened a little. He couldn’t help it.

He’d enjoyed the blindfolding too— even though it hadn’t gone quite the way he imagined it, and not just because it had ended early. In truth, he’d been more prepared for Akifusa to call it off than he’d been for his own perplexing reaction to having Akifusa blind and even more helpless than usual, completely at his mercy.

It had excited him; of course it had excited him. Part of him had wanted nothing more than to mock Akifusa endlessly, to force him to grovel and weep and admit his own weakness and worthlessness and the fact that Shiki would never love him the way she loved Tomonori before granting him anything remotely resembling relief. (He wasn’t entirely sure, now, how long he could have continued along this route before his pesky conscience got the better of him, but the fantasy had definitely crossed his mind.)

But something had curled in his chest as the full extent of Akifusa’s vulnerability sank in. Akifusa had been blind. Akifusa had no sexual experience beyond kissing and a single clothed chest fondle. Akifusa was stuck in a body that made him intensely uncomfortable, and the longer they went on, the harder it would be for either of them to ignore. Akifusa was smaller and weaker than him— and Tomonori wasn’t exactly large or strong to start with.

Akifusa trusted him, enough to beg him to do his worst. Akifusa needed him.

(There was also the fact, Tomonori was forced to concede, that Shiki had chosen him over Akifusa. He hadn’t thought of it at the time, but he supposed the lack of present competition for her love might also be a factor.)

In short: Akifusa had been so helpless last night that Tomonori had been struck with the ridiculous and completely unprecedented desire to protect him.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he said, shaking off the thought.

“Or you could do other things, too,” Akifusa offered, squirming a little but holding his gaze steadily. “Anything you want. You don’t have to hold back.”

This, of course, was the problem with feeling protective of Akifusa: the two greatest threats to Akifusa’s safety were his lack of self-preservation instinct and Tomonori himself.

Then again, Tomonori hadn’t wanted to harm him last night, and he’d been able to stop at the word “Sword”. Perhaps— just perhaps— Shiki was right about his “villain complex” getting in the way of his own pleasure, just a little.

“You would really let me do anything,” he said quietly, more statement than question. Akifusa nodded anyway. (It was the twelfth time he’d promised “anything”, Tomonori noted automatically.) “I’m starting to believe you, Akifusa.”

“Only starting?! I wouldn’t—”

“I know you wouldn’t intentionally lie. Keep your voice down.” Tomonori sighed, gathering his composure once again. “I’d meant to talk to you about that, actually. Has anyone asked you any… personal questions today?”

“Personal questions?” Akifusa’s forehead wrinkled. “Other than you?”

“Yes, other than me, you dolt.”

Akifusa shook his head. “I haven’t talked to anyone else this morning. I’ve just been doing sword reps.”

“All right.” That was a small comfort. “Apparently people heard us last night, and there’s at least one rumor going around.”

“What’s the rumor?”

“First of all, it’s worth noting that everyone probably assumes we had sex.” He paused: Akifusa was wriggling again, eyes glazing slightly. “Are you paying attention?”

“Uh-huh.” It emerged as two barely audible puffs of air, recognizable as assent only by the accompanying tiny nod. To test his theory, Tomonori took a step forward. The squirms multiplied, Akifusa’s thighs rubbing frantically.

“Akifusa…” He could feel the corners of his mouth twitching, threatening to rise despite himself. He had the vague sense that he should be more exasperated by Akifusa’s inability to focus on an issue that had been weighing on Tomonori’s mind since he’d found out— an issue that involved Akifusa as well— than he was. Maybe once he would have been. He stepped forward again, sliding a hand over Akifusa’s cheek; unsurprisingly, it was hot to the touch. “Will it help you focus if I kiss you now?” he murmured, eyes fixed on the wide blue-gray pair before him. Despite all of Akifusa’s recent physical changes, his eyes were exactly the same as they’d always been, large and vulnerable and painfully sincere. Akifusa leaned forward, but Tomonori was prepared; he withdrew just a few inches, clicking his tongue admonishingly. “You’re always so impatient. Answer the question.”

“Um.” Akifusa swallowed. “M-maybe?” He was too honest even to say yes. Tomonori’s smirk widened.

He knew he needed to concentrate, since Akifusa clearly wasn’t going to do it for him. He needed to end this conversation, give Akifusa his kiss, and get back to work. If only Akifusa could be a little less entertaining to tease for just a minute or two.

Rallying, he pulled back a bit farther. “The specific rumor doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t be surprised if there are multiple. You need to be quieter, both in and out of the bedroom. It’s possible no one would have identified me as the one responsible for all of your moans if you hadn’t called my name so many times last night. I admit, I didn’t protest at the time because I found it endearing, so perhaps some of the responsibility for this falls on my shoulders as well— but if you had kept your mouth shut to begin with, I wouldn’t have needed to say anything.” He patted Akifusa’s cheek to take away some of the sting, though he wasn’t sure it mattered at this point, judging by the dazed look in those eyes. Hopefully Akifusa was at least aware enough to get the gist of what he was saying; it was always a mild annoyance when Tomonori had to repeat things for his sake. “Also, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t spread any information about our time together, or me in particular.”

“Huh?” Akifusa blinked. “But what if I hear any rumors that aren’t true?”

It was a fair point. It was also likely, given Akifusa’s unwavering code of honor and complete absence of subtlety, that his intervention would do more damage than he’d intended to prevent. The whole village would wind up learning every detail of every interaction the two of them had ever shared, innocuous or otherwise— and gossip would undoubtedly center on the “otherwise”. Perhaps Shiki’s name would come up as well. “If you hear any lies, tell me, but don’t correct them,” Tomonori said, after a moment’s consideration. “Adding fuel to the fire won’t help. If someone asks you a direct question, just say you’re not comfortable answering, and repeat that until they move on.”

Akifusa shuffled his feet a little but ultimately nodded. It was probably the best response Tomonori could hope for: letting a falsehood stand uncorrected, especially one that potentially involved either or both of his closest friends, had to be only a few notches above lying in Akifusa’s books. Hopefully it wouldn’t become a serious concern, and the village would lose interest in a week or two.

All the same, it couldn’t hurt to start concocting those counter-rumors as a backup plan. Once he’d finished with his other work today, he would have to sit down and brainstorm.

“A-about that kiss…”

Tomonori kept his face blank, stepping back with an inquisitive lift of his eyebrows. “What kiss would this be?”

“The…” Even at a distance, he could hear Akifusa’s swallow. “The one to help me focus.”

“I’ve told you everything I needed to, so I don’t see why that would be necessary any longer,” he replied innocently. “You’re free to go if you wish.” He stifled a laugh as Akifusa’s eyes widened. Poor Akifusa. He hadn’t really thought Tomonori would just hand over the kiss that easily after Akifusa’s moans had drawn so much unwanted attention, had he?

“No, I don’t want that! Not yet. You told me I could have it… Don’t do this to me, Tomonori, please.” His voice quivered, climbing to a near-squeak; the blood in his cheeks brought out the blue in his eyes.

Tomonori gave a noncommittal hum, pretending to check his fingernails as a means of concealing his smirk. After the first please slipped out, Akifusa usually required much less encouragement; soon enough he’d start running entirely on momentum.

“I-I still have training today! I need to focus for that! Please, Tomo, it doesn’t have to be a long one— I mean, I-I’d like it better if it was, but if you want to get back to work early or you’re still mad about how loud I was— but I couldn’t help it, you were kissing me all over and it felt really good, it felt better than anything I’ve felt in my life— but if you’re angry about it, I understand. I swear I won’t make a peep next time—”

“You’re really willing to swear to that?”

Akifusa hesitated, plainly torn between integrity and desire. “No,” he finally mumbled, only to straighten a moment later. “But I can try! I swear I’ll try, Tomonori, you have my word that I’ll try. I’ll try so hard if you just kiss me right now, please, please, just one kiss, I’ll beg as much as you want—”

“Move a step to your left,” he cut in, calmly. Akifusa snapped his mouth shut and obeyed. “Back up.” Again, the command was met with speechless compliance; there wasn’t even a flicker of uncertainty in those earnest, puppyish features, big eyes silently pleading for praise. “Keep going,” Tomonori said instead. “Don’t stop until you reach the wall.” He didn’t need to raise his voice or alter his tone or expression in any way; he didn’t need to make threats or promise rewards; he certainly didn’t need to invoke the Power of Words. Akifusa would do anything he asked regardless.

Only when Akifusa’s back was pressed flat against the wall did Tomonori permit himself a smile. He stepped casually forward, maintaining eye contact: while Akifusa’s new body held no special allure for him (other than the frequency with which those nipples stiffened and those ample thighs rubbed together in an obvious attempt to contain his excitement— and, fine, Tomonori liked being the stronger one for a change), his facial reactions were precious. “Arms on either side of your head.” Akifusa’s cheeks flushed as he slowly lifted his hands, and Tomonori knew he was remembering the previous wall-pin with perfect clarity. “Good,” he said quietly, closing the remaining distance in two swift strides and wrapping his fingers firmly around those delicate wrists. Skin shivered in his grasp, Akifusa’s pulse accelerating at the brush of his thumb; Tomonori’s own heart kept pace easily as he stared into those wide, unguarded gray irises and felt that intoxicating sense of control stir, dangerous and tempting, within him.

He could say or do almost anything at this moment— kiss Akifusa, refuse to kiss him, call him a fool, bite his nose, twist his wrists, apologize gently for hurting him, do it again— and as long as it didn’t directly involve a specific part of Akifusa’s anatomy, Akifusa would enjoy it.

But that thought sloped down steeply into dark and far-too-tantalizing tunnels, as usual, so Tomonori squelched it with a quick squeeze of the wrists and a soft, deliberate kiss, savoring every second of Akifusa’s squirming.

“We’ll talk after dinner,” he murmured when he drew back. Flushed and breathless, Akifusa nodded rapidly; Tomonori held him in place for a few more urgent heartbeats before releasing him with a beatific smile and letting him scramble away in one piece.

***

“Most of what I’ve heard hasn’t been that bad, and I’ve made sure to correct the most common misconceptions. I think you’re underestimating how much people like us.” Smiling, Shiki bumped his shoulder with her own. “They’re definitely talking about it, though. You may have to get used to the occasional uncomfortable question, at least for a while.”

Tomonori winced. He’d told her about Takeshi’s intrusion, though he hadn’t mentioned any names. The two of them were resting together beneath one of the maple trees in the shrine courtyard; the brief midday breaks, in addition to the back massages and shorter working hours, were one of several changes to his daily routine that he’d made at Shiki’s request since they’d defeated the Sword. “I just wish the whole village didn’t know,” he said.

She shrugged. “It was probably inevitable that people would find out about you and Akifusa at some point. You know he’s incapable of keeping a secret.”

“That’s true,” he said, studying her features; the small, content smile on her lips as she turned to face him softened something in his heart, as it always did. “How do you feel about it?” he asked her anyway, gently.

“About you and Akifusa, or the fact that people are talking?”

“Let’s start with ‘me and Akifusa’.”

Her smile faltered for a second, almost imperceptibly; someone less trained in observing every minute twitch of Shiki’s expression might not have noticed it. “I know it’s necessary,” she began.

“In other words, you’re still jealous,” he said, poking her knee.

She blushed. “Not all the time. I was fine for a while, after Akifusa told me there was nothing romantic between the two of you.”

“There’s not.”

“And I didn’t mind the idea of you sleeping with him— I don’t mind it, still,” she added, lifting her eyebrows meaningfully. “Since you didn’t complete the act last night, I imagine you’ll probably need to try again.”

“How do you know we—” He halted as the answer occurred to him an instant before her gaze darted discreetly down his body, drawing a wave of heat to his own cheeks. “Ah.”

Shiki’s smile returned in full, now with a mischievous edge that made him want to grab her by the back of her head and kiss her breathless. “It’s cute how you get so shy about these things in public, Tomo-kun.” She leaned in a little, lowering her voice. “Next time it happens, you can ask me for help, you know.”

“Would you be all right if there was a next time, then?” Despite the persistent warmth tingling through his pores, Tomonori wasn’t about to let her evade the topic that easily. (He’d just mark the teasing down once their break ended so he could plot his retribution for this evening.)

Her face grew serious once more. “Yes. My feelings are more complicated than I expected at first, but… yes, I would. I trust you, and I want the best for Akifusa as well.” She swallowed, looking almost reluctant to continue, but went on. “And I think… even if there is no deeper connection, you’ll take better care of him than anyone else would.”

Tomonori blinked at her, stunned— and then thought about it. Sadistic fantasies aside, he’d offered to help Akifusa evaluate the candidates for taking his virginity because it seemed unlikely that any man interested in sleeping with someone he barely knew (or didn’t know at all) was considering anything beyond physical gratification. In other words, they would only want Akifusa for his body, and that would just trigger Aki’s insecurities and make the experience miserable for him. Maybe there was no way of completely avoiding discomfort, but Tomonori knew Akifusa well enough that he could at least try. And he hadn’t actually harmed him yet.

“Perhaps you’re right,” he replied at last.

“Only perhaps?” Shiki peered at him suspiciously, drawing a rueful half-smile to his mouth.

“Is it really a complex if a lot of my thoughts are genuinely cruel?”

“Yes, because most of them aren’t. We’ve been over this.” She lifted a finger toward his cheek as if intending to poke or pinch it, but he caught her hand and tugged her in for a kiss instead. Her lips parted softly for him, inviting him to linger; if they weren’t in one of the more exposed areas of the shrine during the middle of the day, he would have been sorely tempted to press further. Shiki smelled pleasant and summery, with just a hint of wildflower sweetness; it was refreshing after the several hours he’d spent cloistered in his study.

“I appreciate your faith in my good intentions,” he said after he pulled back, but this time it was playful, as was the wry look she gave him afterward, betrayed by her tiny, flickering smile.

“Have you talked to Akifusa about these ‘cruel’ desires of yours?”

“Once or twice, perhaps. At one point I threatened to bite off his tongue and cook it for him—”

“But then he wouldn’t be able to taste it.” Shiki’s cheeks promptly pinkened, as if she hadn’t quite intended for that to be her first response; it was rather gratifying that some things still had the power to fluster her.

“I told him it would be a fun challenge.” He couldn’t help but smirk at the memory.

“Do you remember how he reacted?”

“He begged me to do it.”

Shiki gave him a purposeful look, raising her eyebrows. He sighed.

“Yes, I see your point, but that’s not the problem. He’s too quick to ask for things like that, things that could leave even him seriously injured if I ever decided to act on that permission.”

“But you won’t, because deep down you know you care about him. Otherwise it wouldn’t be a problem in the first place.”

“That’s—”

“And you just said you only brought it up once or twice, and one time was just a joke. Have you shared with him any of your specific… tastes, other than the blindfold?”

“Well, no,” he admitted.

“You told the man who came to you for help that he should talk to his wife, because she knows what she enjoys. I think you should take your own advice with Akifusa. Not that you should bite off his tongue just because he asks,” she added quickly, as if anticipating this argument. “But, well… you could try making a serious suggestion next time and see how he reacts. And if he agrees, and it goes well, then you can build up from there. If it continues, I mean.”

Tomonori stared at her for a moment, lost for words.

She bit her lip, gaze falling to the grass. “I’m sorry if it’s not my place to—”

His mouth smothered the rest of her thoroughly unneeded apology, corners curling into a smile.

Two of the things he treasured most about Shiki were her ability to spot his hypocrisies and her willingness to challenge them. She was right, of course, as usual: although he’d done his best to listen to Akifusa’s concerns, for the most part Tomonori had avoided sharing his own desires, after Akifusa had reacted with baffled outrage to the confession that Tomonori enjoyed hearing him beg (and, to be fair, he should have clarified). Perhaps it was time to change that.

“It’s absolutely your place to say something,” he whispered after they drew apart. “You’re affected by this as well. And you’re right. I’ve been making this more complicated than it needs to be.”

“More complex, you mean?”

He faked a scowl, making her laugh. “If you insist.”

“I do.” She paused, amusement fading from her features, voice quieting slightly. “Will you be trying again tonight?” He heard her straining for neutrality.

“No.” Tomonori smiled, reaching for her hand. “Akifusa’s not my first priority. You are.” He had no intention of spending more time with Akifusa than with her, even if she claimed she wouldn’t mind, even if Akifusa fell to his knees and pleaded.

Wisteria eyes widened, a light blush dusting her cheeks— and then she returned the smile, slender fingers nestling into the gaps between his own. “It’s nice to hear you say that,” she said quietly. He gave her hand a squeeze in answer. “So… when do you think you’ll try next?”

“I’d meant to ask you, actually. I was thinking once or twice a week until we succeed, so probably in three or four days, but I’d like to hear your opinion as well.” He was somewhat relieved she’d brought up the subject so he didn’t have to figure out how to tactfully ease into it.

“That’s fine.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded. “I know it’s important to him.”

“It is, but I’m sure he’d understand if you’d prefer—”

This time she was the one to silence him with a kiss. “Thank you for worrying about me,” she said once it ended, softly yet firmly. “I really do appreciate it. But I knew it would probably take multiple tries from the moment I proposed this to Akifusa.”

“Why did you suggest it, anyway?” He tried to sound innocent, although by this point he was quite confident her motive had been anything but.

Her blush deepened.

Smirking, he poked her cheek. “I thought as much.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“Your face did.”

For a moment, she hesitated, and it seemed as though she might yield— before she said, “Read my face now, Tomo-kun,” and stuck out her tongue at him. A startled chuckle escaped him, though he hastily swallowed the rest of the laugh and managed a few reproving tuts in her general direction.

“Is that how a Princess should comport herself in public?”

“Your Princess will comport herself however she pleases, in public or otherwise.”

“Of course. And who was it who gave you the freedom to live however you please, Princess?” He inched closer. “Who was fully prepared to give his life to ensure you would be free to stick out your tongue in full view of as many onlookers as you desired or perform any other ridiculous acts that popped into your head? Refresh my memory, please.”

“He was prepared to give his life without my permission— in fact, entirely against my wishes— and if he truly cares about my happiness as much as he claims, he’ll never try anything like it again. Also, I seem to recall him taking a number of rather shocking liberties with his mistress…” Her eyes gleamed with wild mischief, daring him to defy her; his pulse quickened at the challenge. Suddenly their “public” location no longer seemed quite as relevant.

“Liberties she gave every sign of enjoying,” he murmured, despite his rising blush, “and now requests on a regular basis.”

Shiki’s breath hitched. He raised his free hand to cup her cheek, invitingly warm and smooth, echoing the softness of more intimate areas of that long-forbidden, surprisingly delicate body his fingers had now committed flawlessly to memory, to the satisfaction of them both.

“If you’d like me to stop taking so many liberties, Shiki”— he relished her shiver at the casual use of her name, another taboo demolished with the Sword— “you need only ask.”

“Of course I don’t want you to stop,” she whispered.

“Are you sure?” He wrinkled his forehead, affecting concern. “It might help with some of the rumors—”

“I like the rumors.”

The words startled him into drawing back. Flushed but sincere, she met his gaze.

“They’re a little embarrassing,” she admitted after a pause, “and I had to clarify the situation to a few people who came up to me earlier to ask if I knew you were sleeping with another woman. I didn’t like that they would even consider the possibility that you might cheat on me… but word must have spread quickly, because people stopped asking about that soon enough.”

“How much did you tell them, exactly?” He fought to keep his voice level.

“Nothing too personal. I knew that would make you uncomfortable, and probably Akifusa as well.” She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. “I said I’d encouraged it to happen, and the circumstances were highly unusual but had nothing to do with any problems in our relationship, and the third person knew this and still consented to it. I didn’t even mention Akifusa by name.”

He would probably have answered similarly. Shoulders relaxing, Tomonori nodded at her to continue.

“But after that… I ran into some women from the village, a few of the housewives, talking as they did their laundry. They were mostly complaining about their husbands, from what I could tell—”

“All of the other women were complaining? Not you?”

“Well, they stopped when they noticed me.”

“I’m sure they did,” he said lightly.

She gave him a long, searching look; it was difficult to keep the smile off his face. Eventually, she sighed and said, “I’m not entirely sure if you’re joking, but you should know that if I did have any complaints, I would tell you directly instead of badmouthing you behind your back and then lying about it.”

Chuckling, he pecked her forehead. “You’re right, I was joking. But go on. What happened once they saw you?”

“They went quiet for a moment, and then…” She bit her lip. “One of them asked if a certain rumor about you was true.”

“What rumor?” Somehow he already knew which one, unless it had more specific variants.

“The one that you’re, um, good in bed.”

He winced and nodded.

Again, her teeth sank lightly into her lower lip, but now he glimpsed a sneaky sparkle in her eye. “I didn’t want to lie.”

“You didn’t—?”

“I didn’t say anything,” she rushed to add. “But apparently my face told them as much as it told you. The others chimed in to tease me, but not in a mean way; it was all very light and playful. I promise I didn’t give them any details— I know that would embarrass you, and I like that there’s a side of you only I know about… and Akifusa now too, I suppose.” Her gaze flitted away briefly, a small wrinkle appearing in her brow, but she resumed talking before he could offer any words of comfort. “But it felt nice to be included in that conversation for once. No one from the village has ever mentioned sex around me before, not even since our wedding. And there’ve been times when everyone stopped talking as soon as I showed up, and I can tell I’ve made things awkward somehow, even though no one’s ever been rude about it.” She shrugged, leaning against his shoulder. “It just felt nice. That’s all.”

Absently, Tomonori stroked her hair as he considered her words. The people had always liked Shiki; her decisions as a leader had always been sensible, with Kifu’s best interests firmly in mind. But for years following the Inheritance Ritual, her mischievous spirit had suffocated under the weight of self-loathing and solemn duty. Not many of the villagers had known the exact truth of those awful rituals— of the sin and suffering foisted upon Shiki’s shoulders— but after her mother’s death, sorrow had shrouded her wherever she went. Everyone had treated her more gently after that, but also more formally, as if she’d shatter at the first hint of intimacy. They should have known it would take more than that to shatter their Princess. Shiki was the strongest person Tomonori had ever known.

“I’m sure they’re only acting that way now out of habit,” he said softly, “but I understand.”

On his reluctant journey toward the village a few minutes later, he heard a brusque voice call, “Boy.”

Tomonori turned, forcing a smile as his gaze landed on an extraordinarily red-faced Kuso-no-mikoto. “May I help you, Kuso-dono?” The god’s blush made him uneasy, but at least Kuso was prideful enough not to consider turning to a mere mortal for help under the vast majority of circumstances, especially personal issues. Right?

With typical bluntness, the Crow thrust a handful of paper charms in his direction, keeping his gaze locked on a nearby patch of grass. “Take them,” he muttered.

Since Kuso seemed unlikely to approach any closer, Tomonori gave an internal sigh and walked the rest of the distance himself, peering at the intricately runed talismans. He knew a bit of magical script from his shrine work— mostly glyphs of warding, cleansing, and of course sealing— but the purpose of these charms eluded him. “These are the kinds of talismans Furutsugu-dono uses for his spells, aren’t they?”

Kuso didn’t react visibly to the mention of Furutsugu— a promising sign. “He didn’t make these ones,” he said tersely. “I did. I don’t personally need to depend on material props for my magic, but binding the required energy to paper is a simple process with the relevant arrangement of runes—”

“I understand the basics of how magic works,” Tomonori cut in, masking his impatience with a pleasant smile, “but what do these charms do?”

“Once activated? Noise suppression.” Kuso grimaced, meeting his eyes for half a second. “Sound will be confined to a certain radius of the charm and avoid flowing out past those limits.”

“So no one outside the area will be able to hear noises from within it?” Tomonori studied the charms with renewed interest. “How large is the radius?”

“Twenty feet in each direction, though I included a means of reducing it as necessary. Such customized spell modification was no trouble for a member of the proud Yatagarasu clan. Restricting the affected area to a single room should pose no difficulty, even for a mere mortal without magical training.”

When Tomonori looked up, Kuso’s stare had retreated determinedly grassward once again. Something occurred to him. “How sensitive is your hearing usually, Kuso?”

The Crow’s deepening scowl answered the question for him.

“Ah. I see.” Warmth prickled at the base of his neck; Tomonori resisted the urge to avert his own gaze. “You could have mentioned it earlier,” he said quietly.

“It was unpleasant previously, but… tolerable.” Kuso hefted an irritable sigh. “Just take the charms, boy.”

He did so, tucking them discreetly up a sleeve. “Thank you. I’ll put them to use.”

“See that you do,” the god muttered before stalking off.

Tomonori wondered idly if it were possible for a humble non-magically-trained mortal such as himself to reduce the radius of one of these talismans even further than the size of a typical bedroom— to mute one specific individual, for instance. (And if Kuso’s almighty spellcraft wasn’t up to the task, the Power of Words could probably handle it easily.) He’d have to figure out another way for Akifusa to signal when the proceedings grew uncomfortable for him— maybe by touch?— but that didn’t seem too difficult. (He had no desire to silence Shiki; he cherished both their banter and her eventual moans too much for that.) Perhaps some experimentation was in order. A tiny smirk bloomed over his lips as he left the shrine grounds. *** [A/N: I was thinking of swapping out the talismans Kuso gives Tomonori for feathers, since there’s canon precedence for gods’ body parts conveying magical properties. If anyone’s played Kuso’s route and has a deeper understanding of his lore, hit me up; I know he’s one of the more popular characters in the game, and even though I’m taking liberties with him— as I am with all the characters— I want to make sure my portrayal of both him and his magic isn’t too far out of left field. The intent is to provide a caricature, not an entirely different character. Also, one of my intended historical research topics is what exactly Tomonori’s daily work would consist of— and another is whether he would use a desk at all, or simply a writing box. When I was doing basic research earlier, I couldn’t find any information on desks during the Heian era, but I found a few articles about this thing called a writing box that seems like it would function similarly to a miniature desk. If you have any instructive articles on this topic, please share the link, I’d love to know. (Yes, this is a smutty crack fic treated semi-seriously for an obscure fandom, and yes, the setting has fantasy elements that suggest strict historical accuracy is not the top priority, but having more info would help me form a clearer image of the relevant scenes while remaining somewhat assured that what I’ve written isn’t too implausible.) Hope you’re enjoying Tomonori’s PoV for some longer scenes! Part 2 of this chapter coming soon. Thanks again for reading— please, if you’re enjoying this story so far, as crude and unfinished as it is, don’t feel shy to let me know. A like would be enough to bring a smile to my face; a reblog would make me giddy; a comment (or private message if you prefer!) would instantly make you one of my favorite people in the universe.]

#hiiro no kakera 4 #fanfiction #cw: reference to canon childhood trauma #first draft #crack fic #crack taken seriously #aki after tentacles #dom/sub #tomonori kotokura #akifusa oki #shiki ugaya #akifusa x tomonori #shiki x tomonori

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hanzi83 · 2 years ago

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Why It Will Remain Difficult to Destigmatize Mental Illness

There are 2 main things I want to cover to get off of my chest and yes there has to always be disclaimers, it is the only way for me to ease myself into writing shit, like I already accept the fact that there is way too much going on in my mind, it is a constantly loop of information and feelings and then as the loop continues, one more gets thrown in there per loop to add to the mental space until it becomes excessive baggage and I can’t retain, and now that I do the blogs first then talk about it later for the most part, since I might be able to explain certain thoughts better in writing than me speaking it where I am stammering and stuttering all over the fucking place. But when it comes to mental illness and the layers within it that don’t get explained. And before I continue, I don’t want to think that there are not good people trying to lessen the stigmatization of mental illness in our society which is a good thing obviously but if the bigger questions of why this mental illness is getting worse and it continues despite us as a society saying we are ready to have that talk, because if we were really ready to have that talk about mental illness, we would have to talk about how there is a constant force of mentally ill leaders and bosses within different entertainment institutions, factions and cliques that are sub groups funded by the establishment who don’t want anyone or anything to get better, they will pretend to call out villainous figures in the most on surface way but still building up their own cults of mentally ill people who will use their mental illness, not to do any real good with it, but also create chaos with the culture war discourse because if they can’t get any better being in the system mentally, then their thought process is that nothing can get better because if everyone gets better, then the entertainment that we are so attached to, would not be seen as exciting. People can keep pointing out social media and the politics and policies, but if you can’t even accept that a lot of our favorite entertainment on some level is playing a part in how people behave, whether your absorb and want to become your favorite character or public figure, or people being given incentive to get people to act horribly and ruin their lives through parasocial relationships. It is normally the “sports entertainment” fandom thought leaders who are given incentive from people who have the power to gaslight and create chaos and then get the most obvious and transparent shit heads to say the most horrible shit on the fucking planet, and then act like they are above those people because they are pointing out how fucked up the fandom is, but they are the ones who are help organizing it. In my personal opinion, I always believed someone like a Howard Stern or Vince McMahon and now to some extent Tony Khan, people who suffer from some mental problems, and by being in this mafia world, you would have to have mental problems by default, but they are the ones who give incentive to people to either create chaos or have these Arkham Asylum weirdos who do the stalking and all out harassment on a transparent level a chance to exist and we make these incidents just a one off when it serves a bigger pattern in this world. Meaning we can’t improve our mental health and pinpoint the mental illness if we are constantly going into nonstop chaotic mode with trying to always get people to argue to push another culture war, like the world isn’t already burning enough. The shills who pretend they haven’t done anything wrong in this scenario are people who have institutional boss aspirations, how are you different than a Vince McMahon or a Donald Trump, you just have an online cult that will do whatever you fucking say because the constant push for negative discourse is seen as real because the positive shit is presented as “fake” and “forced” like the constant scripted viral videos of gender wars or race baiting isn’t enough, because people are obsessed with wanting to have sitcom level dialogue and making it feel like it is the realest shit, we have to accept entertainment plays a role in manufacturing consent and changing people’s behavior. You can call out other things as well, but entertainment is so overlooked, I mean if you have fundamentalist religious people talking about the devil and doing it from that angle, no one's gonna want to listen, which is why I always feel the entertainment and fundamentalism have strong ties despite seeming like they are on opposite sides. When you consume sports entertainment for most of your life, you tend to look at everything on the surface as that because it guarantees people will still side with the problematic side even if it doesn’t seem like it is part of the same coin. Like I will give you an example, recently pro wrestler Dax Harwood has said he is stepping away from his podcast which is getting negative reviews from the anti Punk contingent, I have heard the podcast time to time, it is a pretty good podcast that talks about other shit like mental health, and his family life and stuff about wrestling philosophy etc, but of course the mentally ill discourse is to talk about the sports entertainment of him mentioning Punk and being pro Punk, which is the main goal of why it was put out there and probably approved, even though people want to think these wrestlers now under Tony Khan have freedom, but I am willing to bet this is partly why the podcast was supposed to be boosted and talked about so it facilitates part of the worked shoot, so the people who are pro Punk are gonna use the extreme examples of people saying the worst shit to Dax which is why he is stopping the podcast, and I know those kinds of people exist, but it is designed by the thought leaders online to manipulate in thinking it was just simply a podcast that people overreacted to, because now these over the top accounts I feel are funded online, like a lot of accounts are. Then you have the other side of the argument where people are using this as an example of why talents shouldn’t be allowed to speak freely and ultimately they start advocating for Vince McMahon level aspirations because even though I believe this is a worked shoot, I feel Dax complaining time to time, because all human beings need to get it off our chest, it will not help future people who want to complain about how they were fucked over, it is like they focused on this being the main case to make it look bad on purpose, which is why situations like ACH and Big Swole will happen time to time, the pro FTR and Punk people will be about airing our grievances in this worked shoot way if it helps the people they are advocating for, but people you don’t have investment into and don’t see as valuable, you can literally pile on them and make their mental illness worse because they didn’t have the proper mental breakdown you would’ve liked where it comes with a nice pink ribbon. So when people say they advocate for mental health and there are people who are genuine I believe, but to counter the evil, we have to expose the bigger game being played in how by default being in this entertainment and political shit, you are gonna have severe mental illness, and some will be cogs who will be piled on by permitted accounts from these billionaires, or you will become a social climber who will pretend to care about plight because it affected the almighty CM Punk, but for the most part you will continue to do the status quo by ignoring the bigger problems, and you are finding out that being put in a position of authority even if it is minor compared to others in the system, you can’t really handle it all that well, because whether you want to bill yourself as a person of the people, you know on a genuine level, that is out the window because you are just a liaison for the system to put out “genuine fandom opinions” And these institutional bosses are just like a Tony Soprano prototype and everyone wants to be that kind of boss, where their mental illness is what matters but everyone else’s trauma that is being caused by those in power is something you have to get over and not bitch about. So both sides of this argument are still part of the same coin. I hope the social climbers and shills are happy with themselves because they helped create all of this so they can get their preferred entertainment, you don’t think that makes you a sociopath? People don’t want to expand their minds, they use their sophistication to dumb down the argument and reduce it to being reactionary. The WWE shills are and have always been really bad but since the AEW sector has shown themselves and how they will overlook shit and not call out the system as a whole, they are never gonna be in a position to think they are more pure when this has shown how fucking crazy all of this has gotten. People want to believe that these talents aren’t being encouraged to take the attitude era and regressive aspect of the 90’s to the internet and on alt media platforms, this is why this shit is like attitude era on super serum, where now the talents are being exposed way more than you could see them on television during that era, because now we know when the talents are taking a shit, and we somehow know the specific smells that came out of someone’s ass, we are that fucking intiment with the these public figures now. It has made me dread even seeing them on television. I know it was designed to go this way but I don’t have to fucking like it and guess what, I know no one has to cater it to me, but I am also allowed to not like what is going on and express myself because when the worst is being normalized and people are climbing up a system to expand that shit even further, than yeah people like me who think this is complete shit have to deal with other people who are absorbing the propaganda. Keep downplaying the entertainment propaganda, it only becomes a problem when new conservatives pose as leftist accounts to cancel shit they don’t like because another billionaire is funding them to be anti that product so they can promote other shit, but since they like that other shit, it must mean that is completely uncompromised. Like this blog won’t get propped up or boosted up, and the people who already have control of the online narratives etc, will read this secretly in their group chat with other hateful people, and will have a problem with one person calling the whole process out, even though their narratives are what is going to be talked about nonstop. Why would my shit get talked about when I am trying to expand our thoughts? I might not have the best vernacular, maybe my days of reading Glenn Greenwald tweets, has made me kind of try to force bigger words that I probably wouldn’t use in my everyday life.

Like what do you do think will get more boosted up or propped up, an overall examination of the entertainment world and how it has been used as a political tool most of our fucking lives, or will it be reduced to identity politics and culture wars in the most on surface way possible, Like with Jonathan Majors, I can point out how there is an overall thing going on the last decade where the entertainment world has had these kinds of situations happen, they turn heel to the masses, and they still continue on with their lives and do their art, some of the people who do time on some level will still be in the discourse where social currency is being used to profit off these horrendous situations. Is there a race related thing involved with how black celebrities will be thrown under the bus faster than their white counterparts, but since no one is really gonna suffer real repercussions, maybe kayfabed ones, like on the surface they will lose their “PR team”, their “manager”, their “promoted gigs” but if they are making a pivot to the conservative side, it is showing you that Hollywood is fucked up but it has to be under the guise of it being liberal which it is not but this is a way for problematic celebrities to have their issues put out there and we analyze it in the most simplistic way possible because the MSM is dumbed down, some people will market a campaign the man’s innocence and the ones leading the charge are from the new conservative sector etc, and we will apply the same rules that Jonathan Majors will go through and compare it to the plight of regular people dealing with shit worse ona systemic level, and if Jonathan Majors is innocent and being falsely accused, he becomes the be all end all of the issue, then you have conservative women accounts who are making this a gender issue on the most basic level, and the people who get propped up to do this discourse are the same people socially climbing up in this same system that will make you do horrible shit when you are initiated, and whatever horrible shit they make you say or do, they will then tie that all into the good shit you represent for and make it seem like the entire movement is now suspect. This is why it is dangerous to use celebs as your examples because showbiz is now expanded to these scripted and orchestrated scandals, they will make a lot of social currency and a lot of money in the media when this shit is discussed, people will get interviewed for their minimal take on the situation, we don’t want to admit the system gimmicks up the trauma and scandals and this is why no one in the entertainment world is ever gonna be mentally well. Even when we are pointing out the evil of the system, we do it by “Oh look they overlooked Dana White’s situation” yeah that is by design so that becomes the focused talking point, you would think we would see the overall picture and how people are getting canceled by design, whether they are being lured into the right wing side or they are forced to seek refuge from that side since the supposed “liberals” are no longer fucking with you. I believe cancel culture has been by design to get people to go more into the fundamentalist side in the very end. These celebs are backed by systems where they can get away with shit until they are supposed to be used for entertainment fodder, and you would think if critical thinkers existed, we could see the bigger picture, but people think conspiratorial thinking is horrible and wrong because everything is lumped with the right wing which is why they win the narratives online because they at least make acknowledgement there is organization going on to control shit, but the ironic thing is they are on the side that wants to control, when you have liberal types who snoot at people for theories etc, then it pushes them into this right wing framing and you think because someone is doing a show on youtube or twitch or Rumble that they are not apart of Hollywood and Showbiz, it is kind of like how for so long people thought the talk radio world and pro wrestling were not considered Hollywood even though there is a chance they could be different sectors of that world, even the stuff on these social media platforms are now another part of Hollywood. That bothers people because they want to think their opinions are the most genuine and if it is online then how can it really be compromised because we define compromised by what it would’ve meant by 90’s standard.

I know by saying I am conspiratorial you will say I am crazy plus you will use the online propaganda that has been built up against me by the Stern contingent if I do get back any kind of relevancy, and I know a lot of my theories might be hard to swallow but can you really look at me and say I am the one who is the main crazy and fucked up one when you are literally having public figures who act more like Whack Packers than anything I could’ve ever done. You draw the line at me having coping mechanism conspiracies so I don’t break down and cry at night, which is why I have to think there are clones and transferring of the consciousness into new bodies, but is that even anymore crazier than people advocating for child marriage and justifying why a 10 year old who was raped has to keep the baby because of these religious fundamentalists beliefs and their normalization of wanting fascist ideas being the norm. You have fucking grown and respected men literally freaking out about the genders and race of movie and television characters when this shit is designed for product placement? Look at how crazy the entertainment has fucking made us where we think we are fighting this good fight because you took the bait in one of Ben Shapiro’s obvious troll baiting, not saying you can’t call it out but what ends up happening is it seems that when people counter, they are also finding a way to do product placement but in a culture war and how is that gonna help. Unless you tell me that representation for certain groups and ideologies being implemented into the entertainment is a symbolism win where it gives your marginalized community’s delegation more social clout in the conversation and that is why conservatives only what their ideology and their beliefs to be the be all end all while they pretend to have this anti corporate message, maybe I could kind of get why these culture wars exist. But it is amazing the people who pretend to call shit out are using it for their own sick gain to implement anti progressive and more regressive ideas because it comes off cooler, because that is what is healthy, a bunch of 30 and 40 year olds can only get behind something if it is cool. All this entertainment shit between abusive celebs and other scandals etc, it will be a constant thing but I am afraid we will never get to the bottom of this shit if it is gonna be presented in a simplistic way. Like people are generalizing anyone like Jonathan Majors who is doing the display of their feminine side and being for feminist rights etc and then go “Look he did all of this but this whole time he was abusing women” but when you are an entertainer, you will be repping for all kinds of shit, especially since the conservative sector of showbiz will think that “feminist” and “gay baiting” is forced by the gay delegation in the system to show you are down for a cause, so when someone is now breaking free from that delegation and is gonna go the route of having a storyline about the fraternity ritual where he had to do become a violent person and now being backed by a lot of conservatives online, it means now he is gonna be embraced through gimmicked identity politics from bad faith actors. And the reason why I bring up delegations because even if someone who is from the LGBTQ delegation and will cater to their general community of regular powerless people living their lives etc, if they are caught with something scandalous, the far right wing uses that as an example of why “LGBTQ” needs to be stopped. This is why when abused sexually from straight or gay people in the system, the celebs who have dealt with that and experienced different delegations in the system, they come out and join the fundamentalist side of religion to speak in generalities about the entire community and then the argument gets twisted. That is how I view it because there are conspiracies afoot but the far right wing are taking it and twisting it into their fundamentalist shit. Now you have normalization of powerful platforms normalizing how different communities are dangerous and they have different conservatives from different backgrounds pretending like they are for the overall wellbeing of their community but will never tell you they are in bed with the same white supremacist system, even if they can call out a sector by weaponizing it against liberals because of the fucked up shit democrats have done. Sorry if me ranting about this is ruining your fun in enjoying the entertainment in these scandals and building your brand in the process, I am just one person who literally doesn’t have any social clout, so if you are reading my gibberish, you chose to come in here and get triggered by what I said, but again enjoy the entertainment and not discussing the real dangers it has caused because it has helped manufacture people’s behavior into accepting horrible policies, and now the entertainment has carried over to the politics where every day a politician says some crazy fucking shit. But we will keep focusing on this on an individual case and not analyze why the entire system is fucked and why mental illness will never heal with the way things go. I know I can never see people I used to know because they are entrenched into this life where they might exude this caricature behavior and it feels I can never heal properly because to get momentum in the system you have to put that banana on the top of your head and do a funny dance while talking your truth because people can only take in their information if they are allowed to laugh and view it under a comedic lensing. Anyways. I know this was probably not the best structured but these are my thoughts that will surely piss off the vultures who will find ways to now gaslight me more by amplifying more negative propaganda to dominate, it just proves me right when people do that because they are so angry they have to have a discord and group chat meeting how to make the discourse make my head explode since they know I analyze it, but don’t worry the stuff they do isn’t counted as mental illness because they have a cult to make it seem like they are the most normal people on the planet. Like is it crazy to think things are this organized when I see guys like Nathan Fielder do a show where it shows how they can organize people to be actors and be background players, they show you that kind of funded entertainment and orchestration but I am not allowed to expand my thoughts and think that is not some genius idea Nathan came up with but maybe exposing that this kind of goes on more than you think. I am allowed to interpret that since they show me every day through entertainment of what they could really be doing. We live in a world where Pras from the Fugees is apparently a Chinese spy or some shit, I don’t know, but do you really think these celebrities are just “boring assholes’ if someone who hasn’t been relevant in pop culture in the last 20 or so years is now a key person in some trial where he was organizing on a political level, it just makes me think how many more celebrities and public figures are working with the feds and are political tools. I forgot you can only be a political tool if you are more liberal. Anyways. Thanks for reading this mess but I just needed to get shit off my chest and see if I can articulate a bit better with the writing even though I have not written that often but I kind of like that I am getting back into the groove. I am not this super intellectual, I am just a very dumbed down person who has never understood the official narratives of this world, especially with the inconsistencies and the lies being exposed, once I see that play out, I am allowed to now interpret the world the way I see it, it doesn’t mean I am right about everything but I believe you can be conspiratorial and ask questions as long as you are also questioning the far right and the funding online going on because everything in our culture is mainstream in my personal opinion.

#Hanzi mental illness 2023 Dax FTR AEW WWE Jonathan Majors Howard Stern entertainment fundamentalist religious illuminati conspiracy

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xaharadesert · 3 years ago

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MC Who Runs a Mythical Animal Sanctuary - Headcanon

Arcana Characters (Main 6) x MC

A/N: this one is for @blackoutunit! I was really excited about this one, because my apprentice runs a sanctuary just like this! Please let me know if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes :) requests are closed

❤️Julian❤️

Even if it were just an ordinary animal sanctuary, he would still panic

This man is not at all known for being good with animals

So the fact that they’re mythical animals? Yeah, you could say he’s freaking out a bit

Honestly, he decides to stick to the policy of minding his own business and avoiding them as much as possible

This is a bit of a problem, because there’s one particular creature that is incredibly attached to him, and follows him everywhere

That creature is a giant snail

Like, even bigger than Julian

It wants a hug, but Julian is convinced that if the snail touches him, he will die

🧡Portia🧡

YES

YESYESYES

This is three of her all time favourite things wrapped into one; animals, magic, and you

She would be absolutely delighted to learn and help out as much as possible

Honestly, she practically lives in that sanctuary

All the creatures adore her, but especially anything that could be even distantly related to a cat

She loves to cuddle with them for as long as they’ll allow her, and she gives them lots of belly rubs

The bigger the better

Congratulations, you’ve officially lost your partner— she belongs to the creatures now

💛Lucio💛

Never let it be said that Lucio doesn’t absolutely adore animals— especially the rare and magical kind

The second you introduce him to them, he’s offering to fund the sanctuary and provide it with anything necessary to improve the lives of the animals there

However, in true Lucio fashion, he obviously picks favourites based on aesthetics

He asks if some of the animals can hang around parties that he wants to throw, based on whether or not they match the theme

Obviously the answer is likely to be no, unless he’s asking for a very, very social, friendly, and not dangerous animal that loves attention

In which case there would still have to be heavy supervision

But he understands if you say no; he respects the mission of the sanctuary, and would never want to put the creatures in danger

💚Muriel💚

He prefers animals over people, so finding out you run an animal sanctuary is delightful news to him

He often offers to help out, especially with bigger creatures

It’s nice to not have to worry about accidentally hurting them

And he gets along with them all quite well

The bigger animals love him as well— he’s someone brave enough to actually play with them

The smaller ones like him too, but they prefer him for nap time— he makes the perfect heat source for them to snuggle against

💙Asra💙

As someone who is already pretty open to living with creatures just wandering around his home, he has no problem just vibing in the sanctuary for sometimes days at a time

He loves to help out, especially with the weirder creatures

The odder they are, the better in Asra’s opinion

He asks you to teach him as much as you can, so he can interact with the creatures even when you’re not around

You might walk in on him having entire conversations with some of them

Faust also becomes pretty good friends with some of your creatures, and even acts as a bit of a translator for some of the reptiles

She has helped them achieve extra treats many times

💜Nadia💜

She finds what you do to be incredibly admirable

She’s fond of animals, and is delighted to see you taking such good care of each and every one of them

To her, it’s remarkable that you’re able to retain so much information regarding not only their individual needs but also their personalities and special traits

She admires your dedication to such a noble cause

If there’s any way she can monetarily support the sanctuary, please don’t hesitate to let her know

She’d be ecstatic to support you in any way she can

While she’s not super hands-on with the creatures themselves, she respects them and admires them all

Sometimes you can still catch her playing with some of the friendlier ones, though

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maulusque · 4 years ago

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Clone genetic enhancement ideas

So the clones were genetically enhanced, but i don’t really see any writers (in fanfic or in published stuff) really exploring what that MEANS beyond “clone very stronk”. Here are some ideas that would actually make clones significantly different from just a regular-ass human in peak condition.

-enhanced senses: eyesight, hearing, etc. I’m talking eyes like a HAWK

-better reflexes

-quicker information processing

-can hear sounds of higher and lower frequency than standard humans

-can see light of a broader spectrum than human standard

-learn quicker, retain information and skills better (potential problem: if you learn something the WRONG way, that way might stick really well)

-photographic memory (really useful for memorizing layouts and maps)

-immunity to various diseases

-can tolerate a wider range of temperatures and environments

-increased stamina and strength baseline. Clones can just run full-tilt for hours and hours and be like “ah a nice stroll”. Over long distances, they can out-pace jedi in the same way that humans can out-pace horses.

-higher tolerance of certain poisons/toxins (clones can straight-up drink ethanol, and get maybe a little tipsy)

-bodies respond quickly to physical stress, and slowly to the absence of it (basically, this means that physical conditioning results in stronger muscles and a stronger cardiovascular system really quickly, and it takes MUCH longer for a clone to lose strength and conditioning due to not exercising than standard humans. Think how much valuable training time is saved if they only have to go on a run like, once a month in order to stay in shape)

-increased ability to function through intense pain and acute injuries. Basically, semi-disabling the pain system so it’s less distracting. Probably not good for the survival of the individual in many situations, but an advantage on the battlefield.

-heal faster and better, with fewer long-term complications. Clones can dislocate their shoulders and NOT have the joint be permanently fucked up, because the Kaminoans re-designed the whole damn thing to suck WAY less.

-actually, unique internal anatomy. There’s probably a lot about the human body besides the shoulder joint that is actually just really stupid, and something no intelligent designer would actually build. So the Kaminoans can fix a lot of that stuff. Better knees, maybe. Stronger ribs. Maybe Cody punches droids not just because he’s a mad bastard, but also because his metatarsals are literally as strong as steel.

-Hearing loss/hearing damage? No problem, your ear can regrow those little hair-thingies that help you hear.

-Of course, it takes energy to maintain muscle mass, which is why human bodies lose it if we’re not using it. Clones need significantly more calories than standard humans. However, their digestive systems are enhanced to extract calories and nutrients from food much more efficiently, so food goes much farther. Potential weird side effect: maybe clones only have to poop like, once a week?

-You could probably extend that into increased ability to tolerate long periods without food/on low rations, despite the increased need for calories.

-wouldn’t it be NEAT if the kaminoans somehow designed self-repairing DNA. This would mean that others couldn’t take a DNA sample from a clone and modify it to create their own clones (basically, it protects their product. It’s like DRM for clones). This ALSO means that clones couldn’t get cancer, and that they’d be immune to radiation poisoning. So a clone could just walk up to a sphere of uranium at critical mass and pick it up. Maybe with oven mitts on if it’s hot. (this would also make it harder for a rapid-aging cure to be developed, but uhhhh fanfic writers find a way)

- “bred for obedience” I think most of this would have to be accomplished through tightly-controlled messaging and cultural norms as the clones grow up- basically, enshrining obedience as a desirable and almost sacred trait, to be prized higher than anything else, including the lives of your brothers. In the same way that we hear stories of people sacrificing their lives to protect their loved ones, the clones would grow up hearing stories of soldiers sacrificing their brothers’ lives to obey an order from a superior.

-SOME of the “obedience” thing could be engineered, though. Humans are already super social, but it would probably make sense for the clones to have an even greater need for social bonds. This would make for greater teamwork and coordination, and better unit cohesion, since the clones would be more inclined to prioritize friendship/agreeing with someone over winning an argument. It would also make it so they’d bond with their natural-born generals more easily, so they would obey them not just because they’re supposed to, but because they’d be much quicker to see them as a friend, and someone who’s trust they want to earn, someone they want to incorporate into their group and make happy.

-consequently, clones who find themselves alone do NOT do well. Isolation has a much more profoundly negative impact on clones than on regular humans.

-Originally, clones designed to operate alone or in small teams would not have the social enhancement- ARC troopers, spec-ops teams, etc. There wouldn’t be much of a noticeable difference in everyday interactions, but they’d also be vaguely weirded out by what they interpret as aggressive friendliness from their brothers, and their brothers would think they’re a bit shy and standoffish.

-actually this social modification would make it MUCH harder for clones to kill people. REGULAR HUMANS are already super bad at killing people- i remember reading this article about how as soon as soldiers have to point their weapons at actual people, their aim gets mysteriously much shittier. Even when compared to situations that are exactly the same, except they’re not shooting at other humans. So reconcile this how you will, idk.

-I imagine a lot of these enhancements would be accomplished not through DNA, but through microorganisms. Retroviruses could explain the DNA resistant to modification, and the increased healing speed, and possibly some disease resistance (do i know anything about retroviruses other than a vague concept of what they are? no i do not. will that stop me? also no.) Their metabolism can be partially explained through specially engineered gut microbes.

-not sure how they’d go about making clones “resistant to any stress”, because you can’t exactly turn off the trauma response in the brain without breaking a bunch of other things. They could probably do a bit of fiddling to make clones more resistant to chemical imbalances, and therefore more depression-resistant. I think most of the “stress-resistance” would have to come through training. Either they train the clones to basically suppress everything, which might work alright in the short term. OR they actually have systems in place that help prevent the development of things like PTSD and help treat trauma. Meaning the clones are literally trained in self-care, positive self-talk, talking about their pain with their brothers, and having community rituals around things like death and grief. I don’t think that’s super likely because one thing that’s integral to those concepts is the concept of “i am a person and i have worth, and if i feel angry about something bad happening, that is ok and valid” and considering that a whole lot of bad things happen to the clones all the time and their childhood is a whole boatload of bad all happening at once, i don’t think the kaminoans would want the clones realizing “hey wait a minute i’m a person and i don’t deserve to be treated this way and it’s ok for me to be mad at you”.

- the clones were supposedly engineered to be “less aggressive” but i think there was literally nothing more to that than a cover story for the control chip. The clones wouldn’t be raised with a lot of the aggressive western concept of masculinity, where anger is the default reaction to like, everything, and your personal pride is extremely important and also fragile (no offense lmao). So you wouldn’t have clones posturing and getting angry over perceived slights and fighting each other all the time, like everyone in-universe apparently expects to be the case. Anyway, why would you want your soldiers to be less aggressive? they’re literally supposed to fight and kill the enemy. You want them fully capable of getting angry, anger is the human response to fear and danger that lets us DO something about it.

-obviously the biggest component in how they behave would be how they are raised, but that’s an entirely different post

-Specializations! I imagine that initially, the Kaminoans had different clones with different traits engineered specifically to fill certain roles. However, as the war went on, they struggled to keep up with demand and had to start shoving clones into whatever roles were needed (hence Fives and Echo becoming ARCs, despite not being engineered as ARC troopers).

-Command clones would have better abilities in the executive function parts of the brain that deal with extrapolation, planning ahead, spatial reasoning, etc. They’d also have increased visual pattern recognition (like a pigeon)

-search-and-rescue troops would also have the pigeon pattern recognition abilities. The coast guard literally strapped pigeons to helicopters who would tap a button when they saw orange in the water, because they were better at spotting it than humans. Pigeons can detect cancer in microscope images of cells, because they’re that good at pattern recognition

-Pilots would have hella reflexes, excellent spatial awareness and spatial reasoning skills, much greater ability to process visual information, stronger hearts and blood vessels (to resist greater Gs of force), and they’d also be much shorter, to better fit into a cockpit. Which reminds me of Axe, that poor bastard from Ahsoka’s squadron over Ryloth who was almost eight feet tall. rip poor Axe, how did you even become a pilot, you long bastard.

-medics who can smell certain diseases. If you want to get a little bit out there, make the medics able to purr so they can sooth stressed-out patients.

-infantry would have even greater endurance than everyone else, as well as greater tolerance for, and ability to, remain constantly on alert.

-ability to fall asleep at will? that would be super dope.

-maybe more efficient sleep, so to an adult clone, 4 hours of sleep is genuinely sufficient.

-concept: clones can sort of turn down their bodily functions- slow their digestion, heart, lungs, the whole nine yards- to last longer in adverse conditions. Sort of a half-hibernation (or quarter hibernation- they’d still be able to talk and think, but they’d feel very lethargic). They wouldn’t be able to function very well, but it would be great for things like enduring intense cold, periods without food, low-oxygen environments, and it would be especially useful if you were wounded and waiting for help, since you could slow your circulation, meaning it would take you a lot longer to bleed out. This state could be triggered by a combination of physical actions such as sitting or lying still, breathing slowly and deeply, and focusing on slowing the heart down (humans can actually slow down their hearts consciously if you practice at it, this is basically that, but turned up to like 1100).

-one thing that never made sense to me was the whole “we’re running out of jango fett’s DNA, all the new clones won’t be as good, and we have to stop ventress from stealing the original DNA” because like, can’t they just, get the EXACT SAME DNA from the clones?? you know, the exact genetic copies? With all the enhancements already done? But now my idea is that the kaminoans have engineered the clones so their DNA straight up can’t be copied. The clone’s own body can obviously replicate it, but if you take a sample and try to extract the DNA, it just self-destructs or something. This is to protect their intellectual property, but also means that they literally have to use a couple of Jango Fett’s actual human cells for every single clone they make (and the fact that they then have to do all the above enhancements to every single embryo helps explain why there’s so many small mutations, such as hair color and height). So they kinda shot themselves in the foot with that one.

-of course since things like ADHD and autism have a strong genetic component, the kaminoans could theoretically engineer those out of the clones, but actually FUCK THAT so for whatever reason, that’s just not something they are able to do, and neurodivergent clones are absolutely a thing

#maulusque's stuff #meta #clones

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ladyvillainous · 2 years ago

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Loki - How will that Help

Part of my Christmas Advent Series

Description

Loki gets a lesson in the correct way to use mistletoe

Warnings

Attempted accidental poisoning, lots of christmas themed fluff

Word Count: 1375

“I do not understand the purpose of this plant” Loki muttered, staring confused at the sprig of mistletoe his brother had just gleefully handed him, an apparently full proof way to finally win Lady Holly for himself.

Thor chuckled and explained slowly as if to a child, with a smug smile upon his face, because of the obviousness of it all “Lady Natasha informed me that it could be used to garner Yuletide kisses from fair maidens”

“It is possessed of magical properties?” Loki snapped impatiently, his gaze falling on his brother’s blank face, belatedly Thor realised he had neglected to find out exactly how it worked.

He shrugged, blustering to cover his error “I would presume so”

Loki sighed “Does it require an incantation, or must it be turned into a potion?”

He now spoke to his brother with the same condescending air he reserved for speaking to the mortals contained within the tower. With the notable exception of Holly of course, who he found very pleasing to talk to.

Thor frowned at his brother, not happy with the tone he was using, considering he was trying to help “I know not Brother, but you are a master of magic are you not? If anyone can unlock it’s secrets it will be you” He finished with a flippant smile and another shrug, exiting the kitchen and leaving his brother to his own devices, before he asked him more questions he could not answer.

“My Lady can I interest you in a hot cup of tea?” Loki approached Holly where she was sat in a comfy armchair at the far side of the living area, somewhat hesitantly as she was currently engrossed in a book. He disliked disturbing her whilst reading, knowing how much he himself hated being disturbed with a book in his hand.

He was relieved when she placed a bookmark on the page and immediately looked up to his face, a smile on her lips “Well actually that would be very nice” Her eyes narrowed instantly, Loki’s good feeling at her greeting fleeing before her suspicious look “What are you up to?” she demanded.

Loki hitched what he felt was a winning and genuine smile onto his face “I do not follow”

Holly sighed, though the smile returned to her face, flipping her book shut she regarded the God of lies and deception closely “You’re being nice, so you must want something” she explained.

“Nothing beyond the pleasure of your company” Loki responded at once, the winning smile never faltering.

“Hmmm” Holly responded not convinced, she knew Loki better than most within the tower having actually taken the time to talk to him, nothing he did was ever without reason “Can you even make tea?”

Loki nodded at once “I have been taught the proper use of the device you call a kettle, yes”

“I’ll have a green tea thank you” Holly reopened her book, still not entirely convinced Loki didn’t have an ulterior motive but could not discern it at present.

Loki frowned “Do you not normally partake in a cup of English Breakfast Tea? I recall you saying you were partial to the taste, for it reminded you of home”

“How on earth did you remember that?” Holly looked back up from her book startled.

“I have an exceptional memory” Loki informed her smugly.

“Well yes” Holly conceded “But it’s such a trivial piece of information to retain” she was quite shocked he’d held onto this small piece of information about her, considering he treated all of them as if they were beneath him most of the time. Admittedly she had noticed that he seemed to have slightly less disdain for her, she presumed this was due to their shared love of books, having spent hours in one another’s company over the last few months simply reading quietly.

“I would not consider any information you offer to be trivial in any way” Loki responded quietly, a small smile betraying his nervousness at admitting this fact. Holly raised her eyebrows in surprise, he was almost acting as if he liked her, but she dismissed the thought immediately, Loki didn’t like anyone not even his brother.

“Just a green tea thanks, if that goes well, I might show you how to make my normal tea” Holly winked, she was known for not allowing anyone to make her tea, she didn’t trust Yanks to do it right, let alone someone from another world.

“Very well” Loki bowed, shot her another dazzling smile and returned to the kitchen, leaving Holly to ponder the fact that he really was rather handsome, she hadn’t noticed before.

“Is Loki making Holly tea?” Nat asked incredulously, unable to believe her eyes as she leant against the doorframe of the kitchen beside Thor.

“Yes indeed” Thor confirmed “He is following the advice you offered and making use of the mistletoe plant”

Nat sniggered, peering round the frame and spotting Holly in the far corner of the open plan living area “Where is it?” she asked frowning, unable to see the offending plant hanging anywhere obvious.

Thor shrugged “We were not sure how to use it, Loki has turned it into a potion to be used in Lady Holly’s tea”

Nat snapped her gaze round to the Asguardian god “He put the mistletoe in the tea?” She asked horrified.

“Yes…” Thor paused at her expression “Was this not the correct application?”

Nat’s eyes went wide “No of course not!” glancing back around the doorframe she saw Loki approaching Holly with the tea in his hand.

Dashing across the room Nat managed to knock the cup out of Holly’s hands, just as she was raising it to her lips, smashing it across the floor.

“Hey, my tea” Holly whined more disappointed that shocked at Nat’s outburst, she was used to the red heads fiery temper by now.

“What the hell do you think you are doing?” Nat shouted at a shocked Loki, who looked round to see Thor making his way towards them, a deeply concerned look on his face.

“Mistletoe is poisonous you idiots” Nat shrieked, crossing her arms over her chest and surveying the Asguardian’s with disgusted roll of her eyes.

“It is?” Loki whispered, looking extremely guilty at her words.

“There was mistletoe in my tea?” Holly asked from her seated position, glancing back and forth between the two gods and assassin towering over her.

Nat nodded, her gaze not leaving Loki’s face “Yes”

Holly frowned staring down at the smashed cup of tea, before looking back up to Loki who shifted uncomfortably under her gaze “Why?”

Thor interjected on his brother’s behalf “We were unsure how to put the plant to use” he stated apologetically, earning another eye roll from Nat.

“So, you put it in my tea?” Holly looked back to Loki who nodded “Yes” he murmured, actually looking quite concerned that he may have harmed her by his mistake.

Still confused Holly started to laugh “And again Why?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Nat smirked down at her.

“Not really” Holly shook her head.

Shooting a smirk in Loki’s direction Nat explained “Loki was after a Christmas kiss”

Holly’s mouth fell open, framing the silent “Oh” that was written across her surprised face. Looking back to Loki she searched his face for confirmation, he offered her a small disappointed smile and turned to leave, wanting nothing more than to escape back to his rooms and brood on his failure.

A gentle hand on his arm stopped him, Holly had risen from her seat, crossing the room to him quickly without him hearing her.

“Well why didn’t you just say so?” she whispered quietly.

Pulling him back to face her, she rose up onto her tip toes to press her lips to his, winding her arms around his neck she pulled him closer, moulding her body against his.

Loki hesitated, out of shock for a split second, before he slid his arms around her waist, holding her body to him and kissing her back with barely concealed enthusiasm.

Pulling away Holly whispered “Merry Christmas Loki” against his lips and waltzed from the room.

Nat shot Loki a double thumbs up that he couldn’t help but grin in response to.

#loki #loki fanfic #loki fluff #avenger #avengers fanfiction #sfw

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myrulia · 4 years ago

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An Oiran's Sacrifice - Kokushibou x Oiran!Reader

CHAPTER 3

Oiran

Oiran (花魁) was a specific category of high ranking courtesan in Japanese history. Divided into a number of ranks within this category, oiran were considered – both in social terms and in the entertainment they provided – to be above common prostitutes, known as yūjo (遊女, lit. 'woman of pleasure')

Warnings: Panic attacks, mention of past trauma

Word count: 3,543

Previous chapter ☆ Next chapter

`` Young Master Hiroto, I apologize for interrupting your private time with Lotus, but she is needed at the moment. Something terrible has happened. ``

Just as you were about to drop your kimono from your body, your eyes practically doubled in size upon the sudden outburst of Sakura. Pulling up your kimono swiftly and completely forgetting about Hiroto in the process, you leap to your feet and sprint to where Sakura is standing, gripping her shoulders with wide eyes. `` Sakura, I beg of you to explain to me..! ``

`` I assure you I will. Master Hiroto, please excuse us. ``

Hurriedly, Sakura escorted you from Hiroto's sleeping quarters, guiding you throughout the estate until the both of you were alone - not entirely but at least you did not have to worry about the other oirans telling anyone your business. You felt your breathing slowly rise in rapidness, worry filling your nervous system at what could have possibly happened in the span of one night, especially after Kenta's murder in his own home that no one suspected.

Everyone guessed he was untouchable due to the sheer amount of bodyguards he hired, and how everyone in the village feared his power and how he could ruin their lives with a simple snap of his fingers. Even still, that was at the back of your head for the reason that whatever Sakura had to say, it was surely to be a shocking surprise. `` Now will you tell me please..? ``

Sakura inhaled sharply before speaking once more, taking your hands from her shoulders and holding them instead. `` My Lotus, I am so sorry for what I am about to say, I truly wish it did not happen. `` She paused before speaking. `` Your father was found in his home- ``

`` Dead? Dead?! Sakura-san please promise me he is not- ``

`` Lotus let me finish. He is not dead, rest easy and try to breathe. `` You followed her orders and inhaled slowly through your nostrils, out your mouth, repeating the action multiple times before you knew you would be ready to hear whatever she had to say to you. `` Atsuhashi, your father, was found with his eyes cut out, laying in the corner of your house and barely breathing last night. Your neighbors luckily called for help from the local doctor and they were able to stop the bleeding get too out of control. He is okay now, he just is now permanently blind. ``

You listened intently, trying to retain any information said but it felt like your mind was trying to block out her words. She noticed your expression went from neutral to utterly horrified, so Sakura quickly pulled you into her embrace, trying to calm you down.

`` I understand how you might feel, it is okay Lotus, let it all out. There is nobody here who will judge you. ``

That was all it took for the water that built up at the bottom of your eyelids to finally slide down your cheek. A few choked sobs managed to escape your gritted teeth as you clutched onto Sakura's kimono even harder, blaming yourself for the inconvenience of your father getting tortured in such ways. You allowed yourself to let go of the small barrier that blocked you from allowing anyone to see you so down, let alone people you met just yesterday. She could tell that you were obviously hurting, so without a second thought she rubs up and down your back, trying to help you calm down in any way.

In a way, it did help calm your nerves, because her same movements reminded you of those your mother's.

Although you could not allow yourself to become too attached, so backing away slowly, you wiped your tear-stained face and sniffed in any mucus that threatened to drip from your nose. Sakura allowed you to calm down a bit on your own, letting go of your still slightly shaking form and backing a foot away, even a gentle smile on your face. `` How about you take some time to yourself, calm down and come back when you are ready. Of course, do not leave for too long, you know the demons become active only in the night. ``

`` I under-understand Sakura-san, I shall not take long, `` and with that, you left her standing there as you navigated through the large minka until you were outside and inhaling the fresh air surrounding you. It was hardly past 12 and your day had already gone to hell. First the murder, and now your own father becoming injured all in the same night. It should not be this surprising, because at the end of the day, he did steal and those who still had it out for him were bound to get back at the man who stole from them.

Thinking deeper into the entire situation caused a small cramp to overtake your lower regions, and the more you gripped your lower abdomen the more painful it got. The only way you were really taught to control your emotions is by blocking them out - courtesy to your father. Yet, Sakura's advice on calming you down genuinely worked, somehow. So, repeating the breathing technique she said earlier, you inhale through your nose, and exhale out your mouth, and repeated the process for a good few minutes until your lower abdomen finally kept cool.

You kept your gaze on the ground, you had not realized just how far you traveled into the forest beside the Suzuki estate. It was a serene forest with a small river flowing down not to far from where you stood. Bamboo stalks growing just by the river bank was easy to see, for they stood tall and proud in the bright sunlight that beamed down upon you. It was truly calming, so you took slow strides and enthralled in the beauty of the nature around you, even seeing a few squirrels climb up trees and scamper around.

It gave you a chance to clear your head, but obviously there was that lingering thought in the back of your head about what would have happened if you had just stayed with your father instead - but thinking more into it, you realize that you would not have gotten that chance if you did not take the offer of working as a yūjo. It was so angering deep down that you could not have done anything about the situation, it was simply out of your power. `` None of this would not have happened if he would just stop stealing..! ``

Before you could register anything, your next choice of words seemed to roll off your tongue effortlessly. It was no lie that you have been withholding a few bits of your feelings from your father, but it was only in view of the fact that he would simply tell you to stop talking and go to bed. Per usual, you would listen to his orders and brush off any lingering questions, but this time, you were alone, and with that new found freedom, you felt like you could finally let out everything you were holding back. `` He always thinks for himself..! He claims to care about my needs yet he continues to steal even if he's caught! It does not make any sense whatsoever so why can he not listen to his own daughter for once?! ``

You had to admit, yelling out your inner emotions gave you a sense of relief, it even made your eyes turn bloodshot as you came to the realization that you were a second thought to your father. His accusations were to benefit him in the end, and that reality slapped you in the face harder than you wanted it to. `` If mom never died, this would not have happened!, `` you finally admit to yourself after pondering a bit more. While your mother was on this earth, she was like a blessing to your village. Everyone would constantly compliment her of her beauty, even you who would accompany her whenever she needed to buy something from the marketplace.

It did not stop at her beauty though, for her voice was as soft and smooth as silk. It held a constant gentleness to it no matter who she spoke to, and whenever she would sing a lullaby so you would fall asleep, your eyes would be closed in a matter of seconds because her voice had an effect on you that you could not explain. During her marriage with your father, their smiles never seemed to stop. They indeed did love each other oh-so dearly, and seeing your father genuinely love another woman gave you that second hand happiness that you desire, even to this day.

The painful memories of your mother's passing quickly washed over you, and suddenly that same agony came back as you felt your heart almost ache to feel the happiness you previously had as a child. You shouted out, loud enough just so that you could feel some pain leave your heart, but nothing could stop it. `` Mother how I miss you dearly.. please return to me! Fix father so he can be better and be a happy family again..! ``

No matter how much you yelled, no matter how many tears you shed, she was never going to return and that is just the truth of it all. Your heart ached and throbbed even more painfully so you choked out another sob, one that still made your chest tighten. Your vision became blurred and you could no longer make out your surroundings, just different colored green blobs, and the sound of water slowly fading.

It felt like your world was slipping from your feet, and soon enough after all the pain and lack of breathing in your chest, it suddenly went away, and your surroundings turned dark, no longer being able to sense anything around you.

You had fainted.

◆◇◆◇✧◇◆◇◆

It was yet another night that he was sent out again by his Lordness, Muzan Kibutsuji, who still had more plans for the six eyed demon in the rural area of your village. Kokushibou aimlessly jumped from tree to tree of the same forest that he navigated through after he mercilessly slaughtered Kenta Suzuki, who he felt no remorse for because in the eyes of the Upper Moon One, the murder was long overdue.

It was only a few minutes past sundown, and yet Kokushibou was the only demon active at such an early time of night. It was all to satisfy his Lordness' wishes, because that it what he devoted his 12 Kizuki life to.

Or was it?

The demon had other reasons for wandering out so early in the night, despite his main priority to fulfill the orders bestowed upon him. He continued to aimlessly jump from tree to tree until he noticed a body laying on the soft grass near a small stream of water. He stops in his tracks and eyes the face of whoever the body belonged to, and due to his supernatural vision, he could tell it was you.

`` Foolish human, why are you out at night? `` Kokushibou asked to your unconscious body, landing only a few feet away from your laying form. He took slow strides and eventually he was now kneeling in front of you, scanning your body for any wounds or dirt. It only took the male a few seconds, for he took note of your tear-stained face and partially reddened cheeks and could easily make the guess that you found out about your father's misfortune.

Still eyeing your face, a calloused and veiny hand inches closer to your cheek, brushing away any stray hairs that was blocking the male's view of your resting facial expression. He stared, longer than he should have, at how peaceful you looked not knowing of the evil being that had just touched you without your permission - even if it was something as innocent as a small brush of skin contact.

Huffing out through his nostrils, Kokushibou simply pulls you off the ground with one arm, slinging you over his shoulder so that it would be uncomplicated to navigate his way back to the minka you were residing in against your will. It did not take him long, for he is indeed very fast and it only took him seconds since you were nothing but a limp body that was hanging off his broad shoulder. Using his free hand, he pushes open the sliding door that opened into a large hallway, and so entering, he closes said door behind him and quietly strolled until he could pick up your familiar sent from another source, your bed.

He pushed open the sliding door slowly yet again and quickly set you down on your futon so he would not have to worry about you being on his shoulder - or hitting a wall. The Upper Moon shut the door once more, only to walk past your futon and sit beside your laying body. He did not know why he did such things, but a miniscule voice in the back of his head told him to stay and watch over you. He gave in rather easily despite being a stubborn one whenever he so chose, but tonight, on this bright moonlit night, it truly was something different.

You shifted around on your futon, getting used to laying on something softer than the ground that you were previously laying on not too long ago - not that you were aware of that. You continued to writhe and twitch until your eyes finally gave up and slowly fluttered open. The first thing you noticed was a large body, easily bigger than yours by a long shot, sitting directly in front of you. A veiny and pale hand was resting on the thigh of the mysterious figure who sat silently in front of you, watching your every move under the impression that you were aware of your surroundings. `` Hiroto..? `` you had guessed, since the only other male in the minka could not gain access to you so easily.

`` I am not this "Hiroto" you speak of, `` said a testosterone-heavy voice. The small rasp at the end made you jerk your head up, only for your gaze to be met with one of the pairs of many eyes on the somehow attractive creature. You backed up instinctively, your back pressing against the wall as you felt a scream of confusion and obvious terror build up in your throat, but the being used his large hand to cover your mouth, leaning closer to your face - enough so that there was space - but close enough that made your stomach churn ever so slightly. Eventually the scream you had wanted to voice out was suddenly shrinking until you felt no urge to do so, and in noticing that, Kokushibou withdrew his hand from your face, sitting back down so that he was in a meditation pose almost.

`` What- What are you..?, `` you asked hesitantly, your voice showing obvious signs of reluctance for you did not know who the being with 6 eyes was and how he even entered the minka without being caught. Your head was throbbing painfully - but that was the least of your worries, for there was an unknown creature before you.

Kokushibou, who was still staring with his narrowed eyelids, ponders if he should just be honest. It is not like he can lie, after all, his appearance gives him away. Yet, there are so many different things in your world that a 6 eyed male could be mistaken for a humanoid spider. `` I am a demon. A creature bound to the night only. ``

You felt your heart pulse and your blood flow circulate even faster in view of the fact that there was a man-eating creature sitting in front of you. Fear did strike your heart, but you were smart enough to know that if a demon wants to feed, it would do so long before a chatty conversation. Looking into his bright golden irises that seemed to have a bright luminescence, you notice the middle pair read the words "Upper Moon One" in kanji. You, who knew little about demons and never had any experience with them, did not understand why such things were in his eyes, but you figured questioning it would only complicate things.

`` You read my eyes, did you not?, `` the demon spoke again, gaining your attention at how he indisputably read you like a book. You simply nodded and lowered your gaze so that you were now staring at your own lap. `` Why do they say Upper Moon One? ``

`` Because that is my ranking of the 12 Kizuki. ``

You were still partially confused. 12 Kizuki? A demon having a high rank? It was all becoming too painful for your head to comprehend just what the hell had happened in the few hours that you fainted. You felt light-headed, so falling forward slowly, your vision becomes ever so blurry as your head aches painfully. Kokushibou, who had been sitting directly in front of you, was able to catch your body before you fell completely forward, your head landing just on his muscular chest. Kokushibou was well aware of your strong emotions and unstableness, and knew all too well what you felt like, but he himself could not explain the feeling he felt in his own body at feeling the contact of your warm skin on his own cold hands.

The ends of his fingertips felt light as they ghosted over your skin, only to have them trail up your face to properly examine you.

Your eyes were almost closed, but you could make out a hazy silhouette of spiky hair and bright eyes staring down at you. The second you finally came to, you took notice of the cold hand on your jaw, holding your head up so your gazes could properly meet. Kokushibou, who still kept his eyes interlocked with yours, felt his undead heart skip a beat. It was a strange feeling, for he has not felt such things in so long that it felt like a fever dream almost - but he was not going to allow himself to be distracted by a mere human woman.

Your eyes doubled in size when you felt yourself being pushed back gently, just so that your faces were not as close as they were seconds ago. You sat there, confused, and in slight pain on your lower back side. Inhaling a breath, you lower head preparing yourself with questions you still had on your mind. Should you ask them now? Would he get annoyed and kill you? There was only one way to find out. `` What happened in the last 4 hours? ``

You had enough competence to know that you fainted just as the sun was setting, and seeing as how it is well past moon-rise, you made the assumption that you were out for quite a period of time. You looked up at the bigger demon in front of you who had yet to say his name - but that is a question for another time.

`` I found you laying in a forest a little after sundown. So I carried you to where your scent was emitting from another source, that being your sleeping quarters. ``

It was common for the supernatural being to have enhanced abilities that humans are not capable of possessing, so you were not startled to hear as such. The only bit of information that really got to you was the fact that you fainted in a forest, vulnerable to anything in the area. If it was not for the demon before you, another of his kind would have devoured you without hesitation.

`` I hope you do not mind me asking..- but what is your name? ``

`` Kokushibou. ``

Hearing the name roll off his tongue so easily was a confusing feeling to say the least. The name itself sounded like he was powerful, and it would not be so surprising so you disregarded the saya hanging from his hips. From seeing that alone you made the presumption that he knows how to wield such a weapon with ease. `` Kokushibou.. Kokushibou…`` you repeated outloud to yourself, letting his name escape your lips and dissipate into the air.

The Upper Moon One listened to you mutter his name out loud. He solely sat there not really sure of what next to say - or address for that matter. Of course the demon had no regrets for what he did to your father, Atsuhashi, but telling you now after your emotions spiking and causing you to faint in a vulnerable area gave rise to a ping in his undead heart. He could not pinpoint what the feeling he felt exactly was, for he has not felt such strong emotions in centuries. How are you having such an influence on his usual habits?

`` Kokushibou, why are you still here? If you are here to consume me, then why have you not done so already? ``

`` I do not know, `` was all the male said. He eyed your confused expression that he read in a matter of seconds. Truth be told, he really did not know why he had not left when the opportunity presented itself at his doorstep, so why had he not taken it?

What was he experiencing why was it you out of all beings who started it?

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

#kokushibou #kny kokushibou #kokushibo x reader #kny imagines #kny x reader #An Oiran's Sacrifice #kny fanfic #demon slayer kokushibou #demon slayer fanfic

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duuhrayliegh · 4 years ago

Text

Fuck Misogyny

request: Bucky uses his newly gained knowledge of feminism to squash misogynistic interview questions. @ptrs-prkrs

warnings: language, creepy men, feminist!bucky

a/n: hey babes!! i hope this lived up to what you wanted! i couldn’t find the exact video you were referencing but i know what you’re talking about, so i drew inspiration from a few others.

p.s.: my requests and tag lists are open!!

xoxo ray

full m.list

The set up was simple. A long row of fold out tables covered in black fabric, microphones in front of each seat. Black papers were taped to the backs of the microphones with each team member's name. Bucky had told Evie that he wasn’t going to be able to work out with her today because of this so it better be worth it. The PR manager for the team, Amanda, had set everything up. Hired the mediator, notified the press, everything. Ever since they announced that they were going to be hosting an Avenger’s Q&A Panel, the internet quite literally broke.

Of course Bucky had been doing lives on TikTok with the group of five for the past couple of weeks now, so he was becoming quite comfortable in this format. He’s become increasingly active on his social media accounts, gaining more and more followers everyday. Granted, there were still haters, as Freddie called them, but Bucky ignored them for the most part.

Bucky was actually excited for this press meeting. He was finally gaining traction in the media and he knew how to correctly answer their questions. As Amanda had explained, there was going to be several questions from the mediator, tons from the press that they had invited, and then some fan questions as well. They apparently were going to be live streaming the conference on YouTube allowing them to read the comments and questions as it went on.

“Okay, everyone. You have two minutes until we start.” The team was in an empty board room in the Hilton hotel. Tony didn’t want everyone on the compound’s grass because he just had it fixed. Bucky scanned his fellow teammates. It was impossible for everyone to dress for the same event. Steve was wearing a shirt that was almost bursting at the seams with a pair of jeans and sneakers.

Tony was wearing a lovely Tom Ford, three piece, two-button, of course. Natasha and Wanda were wearing ripped jeans and casual tops. Vision was wearing a sweater vest and slacks, Bruce was clad in slacks as well a jacket covering his shoulders. Sam was wearing a button-up shirt and pressed jeans and he couldn’t find Clint anywhere, probably hiding in the rafters again.

Bucky had his iconic leather jacket donning his shoulders, a pair of slightly ripped jeans. His outfit was picked out by Cassie and Penny. “You need to look like you care but like you don’t at the same time.” Is what they said, the phrase made Bucky shake his head. His hair had finally started growing back and he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about it.

He had gotten help from Evie before he left Cassie’s apartment. She had pulled back the top half, braiding back two sections into the bun at the back of his head. There were pieces dangling in front of his eyes, “to accentuate the facial features, trust me they’ll love it.” Was Evie’s explanation as they pushed him out of the apartment, so he wouldn’t be late.

“Alright guys! They’re calling your names!” The team filed out of the board room and into a large ballroom. Bottles of water were placed beside each placemat. Tony went out first, followed by Steve, then Bruce, Natasha, Clint, Wanda, Vision, Sam and ending with Bucky. They all settled into their seats, Bucky peeled his jacket off himself, placing it on the back of his chair. His black short sleeved shirt highlighted the gold inlays of his vibranium arm.

“Oh, I see we’re showing some muscle today huh, Buck?” Sam teased as Bucky took his seat next to him. Bucky groaned in realization, covering his microphone so it didn’t pick up what he planned to say.

“Good God, is this what it’s going to be like the entire panel? You just bugging the shit outta me?” They shared a laugh making the rest of the members look at the pair. The audience clapped as they were introduced and continued clapping as they assembled before them.

“Thank you. We would like to welcome everyone to the first, of hopefully many, Avenger’s Q&A Panel.” The female mediator, Stacey, read the assigned lines off the sheet on her podium. “We are going to start with questions we curated for the team and then open it up to the members of the press. After that we will turn to our live stream and answer some viewer questions.” The press rustled in their seats, pulling out pens and journals as well as their phones to record. “Okay, starting off with a question directed at the Avengers in general. How are you feeling about coming before the media in this type of format?” Glances were exchanged between the members, not sure on who was going to start.

“I feel that this is a great way for the general public to learn a little bit more about each individual team member.” Vision was the first to respond and Steve added on.

“Yeah, I definitely think that there’s a common misconception that we don’t want to engage with the media or the general public. We do, unfortunately due to the amount of research and training that we are doing behind the scenes, it just goes to the back of our minds.”

“Right. So Tony and Bruce, we all know that you two are geniuses. What are your feelings on expanding the teachings of STEM courses to not only high school, but as far back as elementary school or even kindergarten?” The pair thought about the question before answering.

“Well, I definitely think that offering STEM-based classes at a younger age would be beneficial, especially if we were to allow the kids to continue to switch what they want to focus on.” Bruce started. “It’s incredibly anxiety-inducing for teenagers to have to decide what they’re going to do with their life right before they are thrust into an unforgiving world.”

“Yeah, I’ll never understand why we do that to our future leaders, it’s honestly baffling. Why do American schools wait until high school to require our children to learn foriegn languages, they aren’t going to retain that information. The same applies for such comprehensive courses like STEM-based ones. If you wait until their brains are already developed so far, then they’ve already decided what they think is interesting and if they don’t find those courses interesting then they aren’t going to pay attention.” Tony finished Bruce's thought before nodding to each other smugly, obviously proud of themselves for answering the question so well.

“Interesting that you see it that way. This last one goes out to everyone and then we’ll open it up to the reporters. How do you deal with the stress and anxiety that comes with being an Avenger? Do you feel a certain amount of pressure to always do the right thing?” Stacey shuffled her papers, tapping them twice on the podium.

“We all have our own routines and ways that we decompress after missions so that really just depends on the person. Like I think that Bruce listens to opera music, and Wanda mediatates, Tony tinkers. It depends on the person.” Natasha answered concisely, making Bucky nod his head. He could recall all of those things to be true.

“Oh definitely, and it doesn’t hurt that we have a former VA Trauma Counselor on board to help us work through the harder stuff.” Steve added a gesture of his head to Sam.

“Speaking of that Sam, just a quick question before we open it up. How difficult was it for you to transition from regular Air Force missions to Avenger level missions?” Sam made a face at Stacey before answering.

“Um, I mean, it’s not that different. You’re always fighting one of the Big Three-- aliens, androids, or wizards, no matter what department you’re working with. The only transition I had to deal with was the Tony Stark-erized suits. Now that I think of it, Tony, can we make it tighter?” Sam quipped making the room laugh with ease.

“Alright, well now we’re going to open it up to the reporters. Starting with this gentleman in the front and then if we could also give a microphone to someone on that side of the room. Okay, thank you.” The first reporter stood up, holding the microphone in one hand and his phone in the other.

“Hello. John from Huffington Post. The Avengers inspire almost everyone around the world, so we would like to know who inspires you? Who do you look up to in terms of your idols?” He sat back down as the team contemplated their answers.

“Gandhi.” Bruce said, Tony snapped his fingers and pointed at him then added. “Pepper, she’s so amazing.” Steve looked down to Bucky, who shrugged.

“I would probably have to say that my sister, Sarah, inspires me. She raised her two sons, Cas and AJ, by herself after the Blip and was able to keep the family business going.” Sam’s answer made Bucky smile. Sam had brought him to their house in Delacroix, he remembered waking up to Cas and AJ playing in the kitchen, happy giggles filtering through reminding him of his time in Wakanda. By the time that Bucky had refocused on the conversation they had moved on without his answer. Several different questions went by, all directed to the team at large, until Chad.

“Hi, I’m Chad for the Daily Mail. My question is for Wanda and Natasha.” The pair of women perked up, excited to have a specific question. “Do you find that your equipment hinders you in doing your job as well as your male counterparts?” Stunned expressions settled over the womens faces, then annoyance. Bucky’s brows shot up to his hairline, appalled that someone had the balls to ask that. Wanda and Natasha handled the question with grace and much more restraint than Bucky would have.

“Well for me, I am able to move things with my mind so I can throw things randomly at people even if I’m not in the room. I’ve been very fortunate to work with Natasha who has Widow training, so my hand to hand combat is improving immensely. And being able to work with Princess Shuri in Wakanda to learn how to fully control my powers. It’s an ever evolving process that I’m always excited to take on.” Bucky nodded and turned his attention to Natasha.

“My favorite thing is training with either Steve or Bucky because they push me to do my best. We all have our specialties here and it’s nice to learn new skills or improve old ones with people who support you.” Natasha sat back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest, throwing daggers with her eyes at Chad in the audience, waiting for him to say something else. Chad stood again, yelling so he could be heard over the crowd’s commotion.

“That’s great, ladies, but forgive me, you didn’t answer the question I asked.” Bucky pushed forward in his seat, leaning into his microphone.

“I’m sorry, I think I misunderstood what you asked them then. I would like for you to clarify what you mean by equipment.” Chad balked, not expecting a male’s voice to respond.

“You know what’s implied by equipment, sir.” Bucky’s jaw clenched at the man.

“Did you just ask two of the most capable women that I’ve ever known, if their equipment, which I’m assuming you’re referring their breasts, made it to where they couldn’t do their job as good as the rest of their male counterparts. Just to be clear, that’s what you’re asking?” Chad stuttered as he answered yes.

“Right, well first off that’s disgusting. Just a bit of background for you, Wanda is the strongest Avenger here, plain and simple. As for Natasha, she’s the smartest woman I’ve ever met and she can take down every single male here.” Bucky took a breath before continuing. “So, what I think you really want to know is how they encourage their teammates to keep up with them.” He dropped his head to look at the two women down the line.

“Don’t worry Chad, I’ll ask them the right question, since you can’t quite seem to understand how to respect women.” The team was holding back snickers at Chad’s reaction. “Wanda, Natasha. Chad wants to know how the hell you push your male teammates to be just as good as you are. What are your strategies to keep us on our toes while training?” Claps sounded from the women press members and Bucky awaited the pair's response. The next press member stood and asked a question.

“Hi, I’m Chloe from Vanity Fair. This question goes to everyone on the panel.” Bucky settled in for another question that didn’t matter. “How do you continue to be aware of things happening in our society today? Do you keep up-to-date through new channels, or social media?” The answers were rather generic from the team, all of them rather uncomfortable from the tension that Bucky and Chad had created. Stacey interrupted after Chloe’s question.

“Okay, we’re going to open it up to viewer questions from our live stream.” An iPad was placed on the podium in front of Stacey and her eyebrows rose. “Okay, there’s quite a variety here. Here’s one for Steve and Bucky.” Bucky perked up, nervous to answer because his adrenaline had worn off.

“One viewer asks, ‘Steve and Bucky, being from the 40’s, women were treated like second thoughts and were talked about like objects. Now, you’re in the 21st century, not much has changed. What have you been doing to support feminist causes?’”

“I just want to say that everyone should be answering this. It’s true that during the 40’s women were not treated the right way, and they still aren’t today. An 18 year old can’t walk down the street at nine o’clock at night without being catcalled. I am a proud feminist, as everyone should be. I think that as a team we are doing pretty well in that department. As far as what I’m doing to support feminist causes, I’m doing as much as I can. I actually recently enrolled in online classes to expand my knowledge on many subjects, seeing as how I am from the 40’s and all.” The crowd laughed along with Bucky.

“Almost all of my classes have to do with either psychology or gender studies, it’s a fascinatingly haunting subject. One book that I’m reading right now was suggested to me by my friend Cassie, it’s called Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women that a Movement Forgot. The author doesn’t let up and I’m only halfway through it. Look, I’m still educating myself, but I’m a strong believer in doing what is right for everyone, so I’m trying. Thankfully I have a few people keeping me in check as far as my actions.” Bucky thought his response was well thought out for being an on the fly question. He was new to the concept of feminism but that didn’t change the fact that it made total sense.

“I’m with Bucky on this. The 40’s were a rough time. I remember the first time I met Peggy Carter, I was astonished that a woman could be in such a powerful position. One of the first things she did after I met her was punch out someone who made a sexual comment to her. I’ve been supporting feminist causes ever since working with Peggy.” Steve added, a sad smile spreading on his face reminiscing Peggy.

“This one says, ‘As a total fan of all of you, I love seeing what you post on your social media accounts. When are the rest of the Avengers going to follow Bucky’s lead and download TikTok?’” Bucky’s head flew back into a full body laugh. Tony shifted forward in his seat, pointing his finger at the laughing man down the table.

“I would just like to say he didn’t get that approved before doing it. However, it did go over really well, so we’ll consider it.” Wanda’s mouth rolled inwards, stifling her laughter.

“We’ll consider it, you’re such an old man. Most of us have TikTok already, we just don’t make content on it like Barnes over here.” Sam said, tossing his head in Bucky’s direction.

“I’ve got like three videos on there!” Bucky and Sam began bantering back and forth.

“Yeah and one of them is dancing to a Cardi B song! Who even showed you that? I thought you only like 40’s music?” Bucky made a face at the man.

“Uh, just because I didn’t like your suggestions for music doesn’t mean I don’t have taste. My Spotify playlist is filling out quite nicely, Wilson.” Bucky and Sam didn’t quit fighting from then on, just little jabs at each other under the table.

“Here’s a good one,” Stacey had a smile on her face, “Are you allies of the LGBTQ+ community?” Bucky responded quickly with no hesitation.

“Yes, many of my friends are members of the Alphabet Mafia. Why wouldn’t we be?” Wanda nodded at his question, laughing at his use of the phrase Alphabet Mafia.

“Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I’m dating a fucking android, I’d be pretty hypocrictal if I wasn’t an ally. Nat, Clint what about you?” Clint bobbed his head in response.

“Oh yeah. We all are, even the Star Spangled Man with a Plan.” Steve’s shoulders shook with laughter at Clint’s nickname for him. The team broke out into laughter, joining Steve. Stacey cleared her throat, commanding the attention of the room again.

“Alright, everybody! That’s it for today.” She glanced down at her papers. “We would like to thank everyone for coming out today and joining the Avengers Q&A Panel. At this time we are unaware, if we will be conducting another one of these, but the odds look good based on the response.” The team filed out of the ballroom and into the empty boardroom. Bucky was the last to get into the room and he was approached by Natasha and Wanda immediately. Wanda wrapped her arms around him in a bear hug.

“That was so sick, Bucky!” She stepped back and Natasha offered him a side hug as well. “Where’d you learn all that? And since when are you taking online classes?”

“That guy was being an asshole, he needed to be put in his place. I hope you guys didn’t feel like I overstepped or anything.” Bucky hung his arm over Wanda’s shoulder, leaning his weight on her. “And I started about two months ago. They’re going really well, I’m learning a lot and enjoying it surprisingly. It’s a good thing to do in my free time since I’m not always on missions.”

“I’m proud of you James, that was impressive.” Natasha complimented him, she wasn’t usually a woman of many words so that was a lot. Bucky smiled at her, nodding his head. His phone began buzzing in his back pocket, so he excused himself from their conversation. His screen displayed one of Evie’s senior pictures, signalling that she was calling him. He pushed the green button and brought the phone to his ear to answer her call.

“Hello?” She ignored his greeting with a squeal.

“Check your Twitter! Bucky, you’re trending! Here I’m putting you on speaker, we’re all here Buck!” Shuffling noises were heard through the speaker as Evie began reading the tweets to Bucky. Laughs from Cassie, Freddie and Penny could be heard behind Evie’s voice.

“Oh my gosh Eve! Just let the man get back to what he was doing!” Freddie yelled at an excited Evie, who retaliated with a scoff.

“Okay, okay! Just remember we have a movie night tomorrow! It’s Penny’s turn to pick so we don’t know what to expect.” Evie mumbled the last part into her phone speaker. Bucky heard the impact of a pillow hit Evie, causing her to grunt in pain. “Okay! We’ll talk to you later, Buck! See you soon!” She hung up the phone before he could get a word in edgewise. Bucky shook his head as he shoved his phone back into his pocket. Amanda approached Bucky asking to speak with him privately.

“So we’re getting a flood of interview requests from networks and papers. We would like to start running with this. We’ll have to go over everything with our PR guy, Ryan, but it should work out. As long as you’re comfortable with all of this.” Bucky smiled and nodded, following after Amanda as she continued explaining what would happen going forward.

He was nervous, of course, but he could tell these nerves were coming from a place of excitement instead of fear, which was a new sensation for the man. It wasn’t unwelcome, it was the same as when he first started hanging out with Cassie, Penny, Freddie and Evie. It was the same when he went on his first mission with the team. Bucky was ready to tackle this next adventure, whatever it would entail.

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stephspurs · 3 years ago

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A Family Affair | Euro 2020 Football Fanfiction - BONUS MOMENTS

PSA: To all new readers, you don't have to read the series (link below) to understand this, however it would help so that you can understand the preconceived emotions behind the chapter!

The Proposal | la proposta

warnings; none word count; 1703 writing tools; third person until dashed line, first person thereafter. link to fic masterlist here

13th July 2024, Germany

Amelia and Ben had found themselves experiencing a slight bit of deja vu. The night before the final match of the UEFA European Championship, Amelia was sat in her hotel suite, finalising her preparations for the following evening. A rematch between the Three Lions and The Azzurri. Who would have thought that three years after the last final, the same two teams (give or take a few players) would be in the exact same position.

The difference this time, Amelia had more to think about than just her brother’s feelings. Her relationship with Ben had grown throughout the 3 years that they had been officially together. Countless family holidays shared together, and with each other's respective families had since become a thing of the past as they had successfully managed to merge both the White’s and the Chilwell’s together to create one big happy family. Ben had asked Amelia to move in with him only a year into their relationship, and although outsiders might think it was fast the couple could only disagree with them. They took each stage of their relationship as it came and when it came, just the two of them how it should be.

6 months after moving in together they had adopted a dog together from the local animal rescue centre, a black Labrador called Maverick who was bi-lingual and responded to both English and Italian, much to Ben’s dismay. Amelia began teaching both of her boys (Mav & Benj) simple words in the language of love and Ben had a harder time retaining it than the pup. Nevertheless, he loved hearing Amelia’s voice when she spoke to him in Italian and it was something he hoped he could hear every day for the rest of his life.

Amelia had continued her role at Chelsea FC as a tactical analyst for the first team, and Chelsea had honored their promise to the girl to allow her to work in depth with the academy talent which is something she found very rewarding and the part she loved most about her job. Of course she loved being around her friends and helping them achieve their dreams but there was something about fostering youth talent that made Amelia really proud to be in the position that she was, to help these young kids from all walks of life make it in the big scary world of professional football. The smile on their faces when they get a call up to an older division, the tears shed by their parents as they wave them off to go and live with their host family nearby Cobham facility, the same eyes that leak a whole different set of tears as they sign their first professional contract with the club - it makes it all worth it.

Something that was eerily similar to the last time Amelia was sat in her hotel room the night before the European Championship Final is that she was, once again, the tactical analyst for the Italian National Team. This time, however, there was no knock on her door with Federico Bernardeschi on the other side waiting to bring her to the English National Team’s base so she could have it out with her brother and Kyle Walker. Thankfully, her relationships with all of the England team had remained intact but that was largely due to another no-contact ban being enforced between her and the Three Lions. This meant that she hadn’t had a chance to talk to any of her friends, let alone her boyfriend Ben, in three weeks. It was painful for both parties, but necessary to ensure that there was no untowards activity or information being shared.

When Amelia was first offered the job she had sat on it for days before making a decision to rejoin the national team. Ben had actually been the one to push her to accept it, it was only something that would make her life better and he didn’t want her to miss out on any opportunity that came her way - even if it meant that the two of them had to be apart both physically and digitally for 3 weeks. That was the thing that held Amelia back from accepting the position on the spot, she would miss the person that became her right hand man. But Ben’s encouragement made the last few weeks easier, and also made Amelia realise just how ready she was to give herself to him...officially.

Marriage had been something that they had both discussed prior as a natural conversation between two people in a relationship that they could see was obviously heading in that direction already, so it was something that was always in Amelia’s mind. She had found herself at florists buying flowers for their dining room table and absent-mindedly thinking about the perfect wedding flowers for her bridal bouquet. However much to Amelia’s dismay, Ben was yet to ask her the most important question of her life and these three weeks apart have made her more desperate than ever to become Mrs Chilwell.

14th July 2024, Signal Iduna Park, Dortmund Germany

A torturous 90-minute match of football later and the Azzurri had done it, back-to-back UEFA European Champions. The only goal of the match coming from her midfield-maestro Jorgi, which was the direct result of a misplay from Declan Rice meaning the ball fell at the feet of Jorginho as he was directly in front of the goal, Jordan Pickford was no match for the beautifully crafted strike which isn’t anything towards Pickford, no keeper was stopping that ball from going in - it was just that good.

This time however, she was the one being consoled by her brother. The pressure of the situation getting on top of her, 3 weeks of no contact with Ben & seeing him for the first time out on this pitch but not being able to kiss him was getting to her, the knowledge that she was again partly to blame for their heartache. Her brother had seen the look in Amelia’s eyes when the whistle blew and the entire bench of the Italian team ran onto the pitch to congratulate the players, she had remained behind. Wrapping his arms around his little sister as she sobbed into his jersey because she was too empathetic for her own good was not how he predicted the outcome of the evening at all, but he was glad he was there for her. Pulling away from her, he tidied up her face and sent her on her way out to the pitch to wrap her Italian friends up in the hugs that they so well deserved, fully aware of the events to follow the wrap up awards ceremony that same night.

______________________________________________________________

I found myself standing in the centre circle at the Borussia Dortmund home ground, with an Italian flag wrapped around my shoulders and confetti all over the floor at my feet. Looking around at the fans who had stayed behind so they could meet their idols, I could not believe my luck in this world.

“I hope you’re not considering a job out here in Dortmund, Mils? I possibly couldn’t be away from you any longer” Ben spoke from behind me, pulling me out of my trance. I whipped my body around at lightning speed and launched myself at my boyfriend, my soul mate.

“Ben” I whispered into his ear as he lifted me from the ground, feet dangling at his mid shin and my arms wrapped around his shoulders so tightly as if to convey all of the hugs we had missed out over the last few weeks apart.

“Mils, I’ve missed you so much.” He said back to me, expressing the exact same sentiments as I possessed. He put me back on the floor and began to push me away from him, in my desperate attempt at a longer hug I wrapped my arms around his torso and pulled myself back in.

“No Mils, I need to see your face as I do this.” He laughed, pushing me off him again and taking a step back from me.

“Benj, what are you doing?” I questioned him, not really believing my own thoughts as to what was about to happen.

“Amelia, my brilliant Amelia. The past three weeks have done nothing but made me realise I never want to spend a day without you again. There are many ways to be happy in life, but all I need is you. You are my sunshine, you make me unbelievably happy, you make my good days great and my hard day's worth it just to see your smile in our kitchen at the end of it. Your brain is the most beautiful thing I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, and I hope our future daughter turns out exactly like you so that I have another you to love.”

Ben had descended to one knee as I stood before him, both hands raised to my face to cover my shocked by bright smile and both eyes stuck directly on his own. I hadn’t noticed the crowd of our closest people begin to gather around us to watch the show.

“So in front of God…” Ben nodded his head slightly, I turned my head to see he was referring to Paolo Maldini and shook my head with a little giggle which was copied by everyone else around us.

“...our family and closest friends I want to ask you the question that I know you’ve been patiently waiting for - will you marry me?” Ben pulled out the most perfect ring from a box that I hadn’t even noticed in his hands.

Dropping myself so that I was crouched and on both knees in front of him, I grabbed his face with both of my own hands and pressed the firmest kiss to his lips. My tears ran down my face and probably all over his, he kissed me back. They say a picture says a thousand words, and while I hoped that at least one of our friends had managed to snap a few of this moment, my kiss said only one word...Yes.

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itsclydebitches · 4 years ago

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RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Ultimatum”

Welcome back, everyone! We had an unexpected break last week due to the horror going on in Texas. I'm glad we did. Not because of any salty "RWBY is bad right now yay free Saturday" feelings, but because keeping to a schedule for a fictional webseries should never take precedence over peoples' safety. I can't believe I need to type that sentence out, but it's true! Over the last seven days I've seen fans who are not merely disappointed by the mini hiatus (understandable) but outright hostile towards the crew because they... were ensuring everyone survived during an unprecedented emergency? Yeah. Given the highly critical nature of these recaps — including today's! — I want to be clear that my thoughts towards Rooster Teeth's creative choices are distinct from any thoughts about the crew itself, including the most basic forms of compassion like, “I sure hope everyone is okay over there.” In an age where it has become horrifically common to harass creators and even send them death threats over stories, it has likewise become necessary to remind people: Don't do that shit. Never do that shit. If I can teach anyone anything at all, let it be that!

Anyway, dark fandom reminders out of the way, let's dive straight into our delayed episode. It was certainly a doozy. Titled "Ultimatum," we open on a trigger warning for flashing lights. Good on Rooster Teeth for including that, though I do wonder if creators shouldn't be including time stamps as well? Or perhaps a note that you can find those time stamps in the credits, avoiding any (minor) spoilers for everyone else? I'm not photosensitive myself, so I certainly don't mean to speak for that group, but my first thought was, "So how would I watch this episode if I was? Hand on the pause button, hoping I stop fast enough as soon as the lights start?" Hard to do given the surprise nature of the scene. Really, my answer would be, "Wait for the fandom to post warnings of their own, likely including where it happens so I know when to skip" which is perhaps an indication that this information that should be included from the get-go.

But I am glad the warning exists, regardless. The episode itself begins with a shot of Ironwood looking down at the kingdom. He's used his windows as a vantage point since Volume 7, so that's nothing new, but something about this particular shot reminded me of Ozpin, looking down from his tower. I'm sure the response from many would be simply, "Ah yes, the two power hungry dictators watching over their victims," but I think there's a much more nuanced reading here about leaders being expected to fix the literally unfixable and what that responsibility does to an individual. Of course, it's a nuance that is absolutely obliterated by the episode’s end, but the implication existed for a hot second!

Two other soldiers are in the room with Ironwood, reporting that Cinder has helped Watts escape. They try to soften this with news that they still have Jacques in custody, but receive only a, "I don't give a damn about Jacques Schnee." Which, fair. He's pretty useless at this point. It's when Ironwood learns that both Qrow and Robin escaped too that he really gets mad, something his subordinates have been expecting given their scared expressions.

Now, I'm treading lightly here because I realize how this is going to sound given the end of our episode, but I still want to note that outside of that ending... this is a weird take? Just hear me out. Since Volume 7 the show has worked very hard to make Ironwood seem scary and unstable — bad setup for what we end with today — but the problem is that none of it works in context and it certainly doesn't work when compared to other characters' actions. They are literally in the midst of an unwinnable battle and thousands of his people are dying. If the audience wants a human being — who also just lost a limb and was betrayed by half his allies — o remain perfectly poised and polite during that, sorry, but that's not how human beings work. But even beyond this, what’s the message here? Ironwood raises his voice, so does Yang. Ironwood hits his desk, Qrow hits a child. If we're going to examine how Ironwood handles his stress and anger, he often handles it better than many of our heroes. Namely, by continually taking that anger out on inanimate objects. I kept waiting for him to attack his subordinates or attack Winter this episode, especially given where we end up, but it never came. Ironwood always has enough control to break the desk or punch the wall, not the person in front of him. Which, of course, would not be a good thing in the real world. I want to be clear given these sensitive subjects that if someone is breaking things in your presence that's a major problem to address. But this isn't the real world. This is a fantasy world in the middle of a war, populated by other characters who express their anger by punching people, slamming them into walls, or screaming at them until they run away. The story wants us to fear Ironwood long before he makes his objectively horrific choices and it tries to achieve that by showing us characters who are clearly terrified in his presence, by giving us a string of broken objects in his wake. But those details don't land well when we compare them to other instances of stress. In the same volume I have watched Ironwood take a deep breath to calm himself down when things have gone horribly wrong. I've also watched Weiss start a conversation by threatening her defenseless brother. So again, what’s the message here? It can’t be that acting violently towards someone = villainous behavior because, as established since Volume 6, that’s common for the heroes. Why are these subordinates terrified about Ironwood slamming his fist on a table, but Whitley has no problem hugging the woman who threatened him? Obviously there is a HUGE difference between our main group and Ironwood when it comes to other actions (cough-bomb threats-cough), but these day-to-day moments don't match up. The show wants to use violence as a way for us to easily identify the Bad Guy while ignoring all the times when our heroes do the same thing.

All of which isn't meant to be a defense of Ironwood. As we'll see in a bit, there is no defense for what he's done. Rather, it's a way of acknowledging just how badly he's been written. Why does a man who consistently reins in his anger and takes it out on objects suddenly shoot a councilman for literally no reason? Why does a man defined by wanting to save as many people as he can suddenly threaten to bomb his city? Ironwood's characterization is all over the place, in the sense that they keep writing him as the morally gray, sometimes harsh, but ultimately compassionate man he started out as... up until they need a villain. Salem isn't here yet, so Ironwood can shoot Oscar. Salem isn't attacking yet, so Ironwood can shoot the councilman. Salem is currently reforming, so Ironwood can threaten YJR and Mantle. He's the B-plot villain whenever Salem is out of commission, which is a problem for both their characterizations. This filler doesn't make sense for Ironwood and it severely undermines the threat of Salem. You finally introduce the Magical Big Bad and our heroes are facing more of a threat from a guy with a broken army and three loyal allies left? Hmmm.

The tl;dr is that Ironwood's arc is a disaster and, frankly, it's gotten old reading simplified takes of, "It's just a realistic look at what white U.S. men will do in power sweetie :) " RWBY does not have the context capable of conveying that sort of critical take because our world is not besieged by literal monsters and an immortal witch, to say nothing of how real life good guys do not get deus ex machina canes that fix the problem instantaneously. Ironwood is not an example of anti-U.S. imperialism, he's an example of writers who don't know how to write.

Anyway, I'm getting severely off topic. Obviously Ironwood is a major part of this episode, but the problems demonstrated here are two years in the making. This is the culmination of things I've been discussing for months across hundreds of posts... so I should probably stop trying to summarize it all in a few paragraphs lol. Perhaps when RWBY is over — or Ironwood has died — I'll do a single meta on his character, try to pull everything into one, unified argument.

For now though, we have an episode to analyze.

While Ironwood is receiving this news we get flashbacks to Qrow and Robyn. Qrow attacks a soldier in his bird form, which is hilarious. Someone GIF that please. It does raise some interesting questions about this magic though: does Qrow retain his aura and strength in this form (something I thought given his choice to transform during the explosion), or was that soldier just so shocked at being attacked by a crow that he went down easy? We'll never know, because that would require establishing concrete rules for this world. The point is Qrow is going feral in his freedom, throwing punches left and right — did he kill that guard? — while Robyn watches it all from under a rock. They're apparently still somewhere in the facility since all the exits are guarded, but that's not the good thing Ironwood seems to think it is. After all, Qrow is out to murder him. He wants to be there.

We all see where this is going, right? The show is going to ignore Qrow's crazy belief that Ironwood got Clover killed in favor of a "Qrow saved Mantle by murdering Ironwood"/“Qrow got revenge for Mantle by murdering Ironwood” ending. Who cares why Qrow wanted to kill him in the first place now that Ironwood has his finger on the trigger? If RWBY is good at anything, it's writing moments that encourage you to ignore everything that came before it. We'll be seeing more of that in just a bit.

"Damn it!" Ironwood yells, because the show is leaning into its cursing. He orders that the subordinates not return until "you have Qrow Branwen in custody." Here we have another great example of the show conflating what the audience knows with what other characters know. See, we know Qrow has a vendetta against Ironwood. We know their relationship is the important one to the story and that Robyn is incidental. Ironwood doesn't know that. There's no reason for him, as a character, to specify that they only bring Qrow back, but it makes sense for the audience who has the whole, thematic picture. Our understanding of the situation is influencing Ironwood's dialogue, which is... not great.

This entire scene we've had creepy music to hammer home just how evil Ironwood is. Except, as said, he takes a breath to calm down and the music fades. Instead of flying into a rage, hurting someone, or doing anything the music suggests he might, Ironwood calmly calls in for an update — which is when the explosion hits.

It's MASSIVE, seeming to originate from a lightning strike, which is weird, since it's coming from inside the whale, but whatever. The animation is very dramatic and pretty, as we've come to expect of RWBY, but the actual plot is lackluster at best. It's funny though because I thought for a hot second, when Winter and the Ace Ops were caught in the blast, that RWBY had actually done something exciting. I mean, holy shit! There are the deaths we expect from a battle like this. My god, what is everyone going to do when they realize that Oscar's needless attack took out five characters, including Weiss' sister —

No wait, never mind. They're fine.

Let's talk about that "needless" descriptor for a moment though. Do you all remember, two weeks ago, when I went, "Hey, why isn't anyone telling Oscar that that Ace Ops are approaching with a bomb? They're on a time limit! If someone would just mention that Very Important Information then Oscar wouldn't keep standing around to fight Salem." See, at the time I was frustrated because of how the plot was needlessly allowing Oscar to put himself in danger (especially when the whole point of this mission was to rescue him). Now, I'm frustrated because that same plot needlessly wasted the most powerful weapon the group had. There was no reason for Oscar to use literal lifetimes worth of stored energy when the heroes already had a bomb to do the same job! What was the point of that? I guess he took out the other grimm too, but without the whale that still would have been a challenge with a finite end, one Ironwood's army and the remaining huntsmen should have been able to handle. It doesn't feel justified to have Oscar use a weapon kept on the bench for lifetimes when there was another option literally minutes away.

There's so much wrong with this I need another list. So:

Ozpin's cane supposedly stores kinetic energy, which may contradict what we've seen from it before. Regardless, we’ve never heard about this. The all powerful weapon comes out of nowhere

It also begs the question of why Ozpin wouldn't use that power at Beacon and why he wouldn't insist that they try to get their cane back while captured. You had an out this whole time! But we’re going to ignore that because Oscar is a little hesitant?

Which makes YJR's presence even more useless than it originally was, which was already pretty useless. Oscar essentially rescued himself

This kinetic energy miraculously doesn't hurt any people or buildings, just grimm

So what is the point of Silver Eyes? That's been their MO since they were first introduced. Sure, Silver Eyes can be used far more often than Ozpin's cane, but it still feels like a let down to learn that the Big Secret behind this weapon is... the exact same thing Ruby has been doing for years

Like Ruby, Oscar likewise didn't need any practice or training. He just set off this massive attack perfectly and without issue

We have now eliminated the biggest threat to the cast instantaneously — the whale and the other grimm — with no effort from the rest of the heroes. Like the Hound, the stakes are obliterated with no satisfying work on the part of our protagonists

Instead, as said, the actual plan already in place never happened. The bomb just... goes back. Kind of like how Cinder attacked and then just went back to Salem. Penny woke up and then just got knocked out again. We continue to go in circles

This is because no one took two seconds to tell Oscar, "There's a bomb on the way"

Because this threat is gone the show needs a new one, hence Ironwood randomly threatening Mantle with said bomb

The one way we might have justified Oscar blowing up the whale instead of Winter is if he did it to save Hazel, but Hazel is implied to be dead

Maybe he's alive, but if he's not that happened off screen and we're not sure how. It couldn't have been because of the blast itself — everyone else is fine — so what, Salem somehow killed him before she was blasted to bits? While he was holding her?

And there's no body?

Salem was torn apart multiple times during that fight and reformed instantaneously, yet now, conveniently, she's taking her time

None of the characters mention the issues above. None of them admit that there was no reason for Oscar to waste LIFETIMES worth of power when they already had a solution in the works. Fantastic

I need to take a moment to acknowledge that so far this recap feels... bad. Disjointed. Bit all over the place. Which makes a certain amount of sense because that's where my thoughts are at. There's so much going on in this episode — so much wrong with it — that I don't know how to boil it all down into a few, neat claims. This episode is a mess! We're barely a few minutes in and the combined issues of Ironwood's characterization and Oscar's choice have left me reeling. So if you're still reading this, bless your patience, I think we'll both need it for the rest of this journey.

Let's snag a neater plot-point to discuss. Amidst all the chaos Neo literally skips away with the Lamp, clearly thrilled at how her own life is going. Later in the episode she'll text Cinder with the obvious: Salem is going to be pretty pissed when she realizes this is gone. “If you want her name you know what you owe me."

So wait... what is Neo leveraging here? Is she agreeing to give the Lamp back so Cinder doesn't get in trouble with Salem? Give Salem the password she's been looking for? Or give Cinder the password to use the Lamp for herself? What would Cinder even want the Lamp for when she's after the Maiden powers? I'm confused about what Cinder is being blackmailed with. Regardless, she needs the lamp for something and presumably what she "owes" Neo is Ruby. We get a cut to her just to hammer that home.

(Side note: both pictures of Neo are hilarious.)

Before that though, back at the whale, everyone is taking stock of the situation when Marrow cries, "Hey, they were still in there!" I feel like this is another scene meant to make him look like the one good guy in the group — he cares about YJOR while the others can’t be bothered — but as always, that reading doesn't fit well with the situation as a whole. The others have barely had time to realize they're alive. I don't think it's a moral failing that they didn't instinctually worry about four betrayers, one of whom attacked them, while they're still checking that they have all their limbs intact. Besides, why does Marrow assume they're dead? The Ace Ops were caught in the blast as well, yet miraculously came out unharmed. They clearly didn't set their own bomb off, so it's logical to assume that YJOR did something themselves. It feels weird to have a "Marrow mourns them and Winter is the only other character who cares" moment when everyone is recovering from bomb shock and no one even knows if the others are dead. But, of course, the show is out to portray only two of these characters as good people, so ignore the logic and run with the emotion of the scene.

All of which is bolstered by Elm pulling away when Vine puts a hand on her shoulder. Why is she acting cold towards him now? Because they're not friends, remember?

While we get more ridiculous relationship dynamics, Ironwood calls in and congratulates them on the bomb working, but tells them to get back because they have another problem in the works. That would be Qrow and Robyn. Winter decides to tell him about the bomb in person.

We cut to Watts and Cinder watching the remnants of the blast from a rooftop. Cinder has tried calling, but no one answered. Unsurprising, given that Salem doesn't have any other allies left. Cinder says that the plan hasn't changed, she's still going to take the Winter Maiden's power for herself, and Watts can help her by bringing Penny here. He explains that he doesn't have full control over her. Rather, he implemented a virus that is setting her on a single path: open the vault, then self-destruct. Cinder, as one might expect, is furious.

She snags Watts by her grimm arm and threatens to toss him over the side of the building. Thus begins the best part of the episode, hands down. Despite the danger he's in, Watts throws common sense out the window in favor of dragging Cinder in the most satisfying manner possible.

“You think you’re entitled to everything just because you suffered, but suffering isn’t enough. You can’t just be strong, you have to be smart. You can’t just be deserving, you have to be worthy! But all you have ever been is a bloody migraine!”

It's true! You know what else is true? This speech could apply to our heroes as well. Accusations of entitlement and reminders to be smart as opposed to just strong hit hard, considering those are the same flaws our protagonists are struggling with. The difference is that Cinder, miraculously, listens, pulling Watts back to safety and going to cry by herself. That moment is simultaneously more growth than Ruby has gotten and more sympathy than Ironwood has gotten. The woman who murdered Pyrrha is treated more kindly by the narrative than one of our initial heroes and our very first villain has taken more time to reconsider her choices than our title character. You know a show is falling apart when excellent choices are applied to the worst possible character.

So Cinder is crying while Watts looks guilty and we cut back to YJOR's group post-blast. Yang is finally able to answer a call from Blake who is obviously overjoyed to see her. Weiss gives them directions to the mansion and they ask what in the world they'll do with Emerald, currently on her knees, mourning Hazel.

Thus begins the third most frustrating part of this episode. See, on the way back the group continues the conversation about what to do with Emerald, with Yang and Jaune distrusting her vs. Ren and Oscar encouraging cooperation. I can't believe I'm saying this after's Ren's speech and Oscar's entire existence... but I'm team Jaune and Yang here. Look, what Oscar and Ren say — the literal words coming out of their mouth — is nonsense. Ren goes, “We can’t let all of our actions stem from fear," as if Yang and Jaune are being ridiculous for mistrusting Emerald, one of the established villains, after years worth of harm from her. It’s weird that Yang points to her arm as something Emerald is responsible for, rather than being framed or the deaths at Beacon, but the general sentiment of, “She’s done horrible things!” is true. Ren’s perspective is the same simplification that was applied to Ironwood last volume, wherein everyone acted as if he was crazy for fearing an attack on his kingdom... post an attack on another kingdom and pre an attack on his kingdom. Putting generic lines in Ren's mouth about not being afraid makes him sound willfully ignorant, as if choosing to believe that someone is good will magically make them so, to say nothing of thinking it will erase all the harm they've already done.

Oscar at least acknowledges the difficulty here, but then follows this up with, “You don’t have to forgive her… just give her a second chance."

Oscar, honey, that amounts to the same thing in this situation. Allowing Emerald a second chance means working with her, which means trust, which means emotionally reaching a point where these characters can put aside the harm she's done them in an effort to give her that chance in the first place. This actually ties into a post I saw last night, one I've come across before, that claims redemption arcs don't require any suffering on the part of the person who has done wrong. I agree in theory, that prolonged suffering doesn't help anyone, but the problem is that people tend to conflate suffering with consequences and someone who has done this level of harm should face consequences for their actions. The problem with redemption arcs is not that the bad people suffer too much — emotionally and physically beating on them as a form of revenge — but that the people they've harmed are put into situations like this one. If Yang and Jaune let Emerald go like she suggests, they are agreeing that she doesn't have to face any consequences for the damage she's done (which, keep in mind, involves multiple deaths, not including all the lost lives here in Atlas). If they agree to give her a second chance, they are forced to jump straight to some level of forgiveness. We might claim they don't have to forgive Emerald to work with her, but from a practical perspective how are they meant to function, especially during a warzone? Anything she provides them with — information, watching their back in a fight, undertaking missions, etc. — requires trusting her enough to allow those things to happen: working with that info, letting her protect them, allowing her that responsibility. It's all about trust, trust she has yet to earn. In order for a redemption arc to be successful, the power has to be in the hands of the victims. They need to be able to see some justice for what was done to them, be offered some proof that the person in question has truly changed, and have the ability to walk away if they decide no, I don't forgive you, glad to hear you've improved, but please stay out of my life. Jaune and Yang have none of that. There are currently no systems in place for Emerald to face consequences for her choices, she has offered them no proof of her remorse or true motivations, and the other half of the group is pressuring them to give her that second chance without closure or reassurance. None of that makes for a good redemption arc and reducing that to, "So you want to see poor Emerald suffer, huh?" ignores the suffering she has already caused. The group are her victims and they are under no obligation to give her a second chance, particularly under these circumstances, which makes the story's choice to have Ren and Oscar act like Yang and Jaune are being stubborn or inconsiderate a problem. The conversation boils down to, "Give the woman you know to be a liar, manipulator, murder accomplice, and servant of our enemy a second chance based entirely on unfounded faith. If you don't you're letting yourself be ruled by fear."

RWBY's touchy-feely themes really don't sit well within its realistic, morally gray premise. We cannot continually have these characters go through hell one moment and then have others accuse them of being paranoid the next. The fact that all of this is wrapped up in the group trusting Robyn, Emerald, and Hazel over their established allies remains beyond frustrating.

Because yeah, you know how Oscar finishes his speech? “I’ve already gotten a lot of help today from someone I don’t exactly trust right now." Meaning Ozpin.

The story is trying to compare Emerald and Hazel to Ozpin.

"Oh hey, I kept a secret from you after lifetimes of watching that secret lead to betrayal and death. I keep apologizing for my mistakes while ignoring that I had no reason to trust a bunch of kids with such world-shattering information and also that you tore it from me in the most traumatic way possible."

"Oh hey, I willingly joined our world's version of the devil and helped her destroy your school, leading to numerous deaths including your friend and headmaster. It was his death that put Oscar in this position in the first place! I then continued to attack your group, leading to another near death of a friend, and a kidnapping, and the destruction of Amity, until I became scared enough to make a run for it."

Which one of these characters is granted an instant second chance? You'll never guess who!

And I do think the word "instant" is important here because just like Jaune and Yang have the right to have distance and justice from Emerald, they had that right with Ozpin too. The difference is they got it. They had the power in the situation, as evidenced by their use of the Lamp and physically attacking him. Ozpin heard what they needed from him — leave us alone — and did that without complaint. They were given months to come to terms with the secrets he kept. They were offered apologies and acts of service to demonstrate intent: saving them in the airship and continually saving Oscar. I don't believe Ozpin ever needed a redemption arc, but even if we think he did, he had it. After three volumes of material Oscar's perspective is still "I don't exactly trust [him] right now" but Hazel and Emerald have earned at least the same amount of trust in a matter of hours? They're really having my boy look at the guy who has tried desperately to do right by him despite unimaginable circumstances, and the guy who tortured him to get information for Salem, and went, "That first guy. He's the one we need to watch out for."

To make things even worse, Oscar tells the others that Ozpin took on all the torture so he wouldn't have to. So he did that and they still don't trust him? If you had told me back in Volume 6 that two years later the group would still be hostile towards Ozpin, while simultaneously urging one another to trust Emerald, I would have said you were lying. RWBY has its problems, but it's not that bad. Yet here we are. I suppose the one silver lining here is that Ren smiles when he realizes Ozpin is back? So at least one of them isn't prepared to draw their weapon at the mere mention of his name.

Both these moments raise more questions though. How in the world did Ozpin take on that torture when we clearly saw Oscar getting pummeled for a good portion of the kidnapping? Is that a weird merge thing the story hasn't bothered to explain? I wouldn't be surprised, considering Oscar said last episode he didn't want to use magic because it hastened the merge, he uses the biggest explosion of magic we've ever seen, and nothing has changed. Ozpin is still in the back of his head, thanking him for the tinniest shreds of decency they get. Ren, meanwhile, seems to be back to mindreading. How in the world does he know that Ozpin is back? I assume it has something to do with his semblance, but we don't know what. They could have shown us Oscar from Ren's perspective, perhaps with two distinct emotions swilling around to imply that he sees two different people now, not a useless shot of Emerald with purple flower petals, whatever purple means.

Oh, but no, we shouldn't have gotten either of these scenes. Remember that Ren's aura broke a very, very short time ago? Is it back already? Can he use this part of his semblance without it? Considering it was near impossible to see Ironwood's aura breaking in the Watts fight and we were then mistakenly told he used his semblance in the office, I'm going to go with, "The writers forgot."

Oscar explains that the cane had "lifetime after lifetime" of power in it and though there's still some left, "we have to be careful with how we use the rest." He says that Ozpin trusted his judgement and of course he did! Ozpin also didn’t know that there was a bomb on the way. Yet funnily enough, no one else mentions that, whoops, your choice made in ignorance was a waste and that's due entirely to us prioritizing hugs over basic mission information.

Also, all these explanations take place in front of Emerald. Half the group doesn't trust her, but they'll freely discuss their powers and limitations here. Remember how the group once wanted to talk about magical relics in front of the old lady they'd just met? Yeah, they've learned nothing.

Combine all this insanity with the fact that Ozpin's magic saved the day before Ironwood's bomb could do the same... while Ruby sat in a mansion drinking tea. Who's our hero again?

So things are a hot mess, to put it lightly. Their conversation finally ends when they hear voices and round the corner to find all the Atlas citizens huddled in the subway. For once the show actually writes them in a sympathetic manner, emphasizing how terrified and helpless they are. This image doesn't lead the group to any revelations though, certainly not anything that would tie back to Ren's earlier speech in the snow. No, once again the justified criticisms here are ignored as we hear that “However this fight ends, we could really use someone like you, [Emerald.]” That's it then. Discussion over. We knew as soon as it started that blindly trusting her was being presented as the "right" thing to do and now here we are, deciding that conclusively, despite Jaune and Yang's complaints. By the time the group reaches the mansion, Oscar is defending Emerald from Ruby. We're supposed to just accept that she's a part of the group now, only minimal pushback allowed.

Before that though we return to Ironwood getting news that their bomb never went off. He briefly wonders who else could have done that, but puts the currently unanswerable question aside for what he does know. They still have the bomb and it could be "useful." See, this moment — like shooting Oscar and the councilman — is when Ironwood just randomly goes off the deep end. One minute he's talking about what they've lost and cradling his new arm,

the next he's saying that he should have tortured Qrow to get Penny to obey him! Which doesn't even make sense since I'm pretty sure Penny hasn't ever spoken to Qrow. She wouldn't want anyone to suffer, true, but it's not like Ironwood had a close friend like Ruby to use as leverage. Qrow is just Some Guy to her. Regardless, he thinks Yang, Jaune, and Ren are decent replacements, despite Penny also having no relationships with them. This is what happens when your characters only start breaking up their teams eight years into the story, the response to Ironwood wanting to torture Ren to hurt Penny is, “Does Penny know Ren exists?” But, you know, torture is torture, right? Maybe. Probably not. I mean, if they're going to turn Ironwood into a cartoon villain, they could at least keep him smart.

Because all of this is just the height of stupidity. Ironwood wants to torture people Penny barely knows to make her listen (so just grab some civilians? It would do the same job...). Ironwood wants to shoot down empty ships, even though no one, including us, knows where in the world those ships would have gone. Ironwood wants to destroy an entire city to try and save another city. He wants to use a bomb meant for a comparatively small whale and acts like that alone will take out the majority of a kingdom. None of it makes sense! And I know the easy comeback for that is, "Well yeah, Ironwood is crazy and evil" but he's not. I mean he is. Threatening torture and bombings is obviously evil, but he's never been insane, or stupid. As said before, his arc (or lack thereof) is an absolute disaster. The fandom assumes so many things about Ironwood given the opportunity — the whale is a suicide mission. He expects the Ace Ops to die on his order — and the writing hints at so many things that never happen — he's going to hurt his subordinates, attack Winter for disobeying him — and every time what we actually get is a far more compassionate, level-headed character... until he randomly does a 180 and goes, "Let's murder a whole city now!" I never wanted Ironwood to be the bad guy, but they could have at least given me a persuasive decent into this level of horror.

So... yeah. Ironwood has got to die by the end of the volume, yeah? Between Ruby warning the whole world about him and him going into full villain mode, there's no coming back from this.

Neo sends her text to Cinder and the group makes it back to the mansion. Remember Yang's criticisms of Ruby's leadership? The ones she conveniently forgot about when Ren started to agree with her? Yeah, those are entirely gone as the sisters hug it out and, presumably, forgive one another for... daring to admit that things are bad? Look, I'm not going to deny that Ironwood's scene with Winter was creepy as fuck,

but I'm not of the opinion that the heroes are any better when it comes to the theme of obedience. They've attacked one another, screamed at one another, and any dissent from Ruby's leadership results in the questioner being left behind in the snow. We'll accept you again when you fall back in line. I used to adore the relationships in this show, but watching them now is just discomforting. The show might be 100% more obvious with Ironwood, using creepy music, a smile, and that hand on Winter's shoulder, but the concept of, "Sorry I dared to question you before! We won't ever do it again :)" isn't healthy either. The fact that the show keeps erasing theses problems with hugs — Weiss hugs Whitley now, Yang hugs Ruby, someone will probably hug Emerald soon — doesn't make the circumstances any less uncomfortable.

None of this even gets into the Blake and Yang hug. First of all, why is Blake acting like they had a fight and Yang might not want to see her? She's hiding inside rather than rushing to greet them, ears down in a devastated expression until Yang touches her. Combine this with Yang's "Do you think she's mad at me?" and it feels like the writers cut a fight in the final script and then didn't bother to remove the fallout from that. Seriously, where did any of this come from? You can't just have characters act like they've been fighting when they haven’t.

Also, can't forget this.

At this point there's nothing more I can say in regards to RWBY's almost-queer baiting. Is touching foreheads more intimate than the hugs Yang gave the others? Absolutely. Is that an appropriate stand-in for overt representation? Absolutely not. This would have been a perfect time for them to kiss. Take out Blake's nonsensical fear and replace it with them both reuniting after their first separation since Volume 5, working under the knowledge that either one could have been killed, finally admitting their feelings. Hell, they don't actually have to kiss. Not all girlfriends are interested in kissing! But they could use the terminology that makes things unequivocally canon. Another forehead touch when we got that in Volume 6? It's not enough, especially not when our straight couples have all been allowed their rep.

Ren at least wants to know where Nora is. He's presumably told what happened off screen as Oscar tells Ruby that Emerald is their friend now.

Then an emergency call from May interrupts the reunion and the group learns that Ironwood is bombing the Schnee ships. “Those ships… they were going to save people” Weiss whispers. How? Tell me how they were going to save anyone. Where were you going to take these people where they would be safer than where they are now? RWBY continually asserts things without explaining them, meaning there is precisely zero emotional weight here. Again, Ironwood is far past the point of defense, but I'd be a whole lot more critical of this particular action if I had a better sense of why it's bad. He appears to be endangering the people given May's shout to run — falling debris? — but the further implication is that Ironwood has doomed the people of Mantle by denying them these ships. It's that part that makes no sense based on what we've been told.

Which finally comes to the ultimatum of our episode title: Penny opens the vault, or Ironwood bombs Mantle. Great! So glad this plan is wicked smart and works well for his characterization. It's definitely not a nonsensical, unfounded, overblown change that feels like it belongs in a child's cartoon, complete with dramatic spotlight. Nope. Excellent writing choices all around.

Our final line of the episode is, “I hope you live up to the title I gave you," referring to Penny's job as the Protector of Mantle, and you know what? That line could have been very cool if it was delivered by an Ironwood with a persuasive fall and a halfway decent plan in place. I love that we've twisted the concept of a protector and turned the title into a horrifying, rather than honorable responsibility... I just hate everything surrounding those details.

So, usual RWBY fare.

(At least we get to see that Nora is awake!)

Will things get better over the next four episodes? I doubt it. We're still expecting the rest of the Ace Ops + Winter to ditch Ironwood, someone getting the vault open, the fall of Atlas, now the potential destruction of Mantle, and none of that includes Salem who should reform at any moment. Frankly, I'm not looking forward to any of it. The final leg of a season should make its audience excited to see how everything turns out, not dreading it. I've heard from multiple people that this is the volume that finally got them to drop the show and honestly? I'm not surprised.

As a final (happier?) note: we've finally got a bingo! I completely forgot our board last time, which was a terrible oversight, but we can update it now.

Our army of grimm can't kill anyone now that it got KOed by Oscar (that is the third one hit defeat of a major enemy we've seen this volume. Yes, I'm including the Hound considering it was obviously on its last legs after Ruby's eyes.)

I'm likewise including "Ozpin apologizes for everything including his existence" because he's done nothing but apologize since he came back. The emotion is there even if the literal words are not. Oscar reminded everyone of how untrustworthy he is, but kept the group from jumping them again. And Ozpin thanked him for it.

Neo didn't literally backstab Cinder (shame), but the Relic still counts.

So a triple bingo! Is that how bingo works? Idk, I've never played. I feel like I should have thought up some sort of humorous prize, but sadly I've got nothing. If you think of anything, let me know lol

That’s all then, folks. Until next week! 💜

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 8 #rwby ultimatum #rwby recaps #mymetas

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that-random-one · 4 years ago

Text

Ice Skating

Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Date Posted: 2/17/21

A/N: I actually really liked writing this. I dunno why. Maybe it's cause Katsuki needs help to learn something instead of Y/n needing help from him. Plus this was cute, at least I think so🥺 Honestly I think it was the ending for me. I wasn't even planning on adding it, but why the fuck not. Also I have no fucking idea how to ice skate, or skate in general I'm a clumsy bitch but I think it always looks kinda cool.

You have finally reached your limit at staring at your phone. You wanted to go out and do something, something fun of course.

You were currently laying on your boyfriend's bed facing the wall. You rolled over and saw that he was still at his desk studying.

You knew that Katsuki's grades were important to him, so you usually didn't bug him whenever he was studying. Personally, you didn't study. You had almost straight A's with one B ruining your perfect score.

When you told him that you don't study when you were first dating he didn't believe it. So he made you go to one of his study sessions and you ended up failing the test. The next test you passed getting one question wrong without studying. To say the least, Katsuki was baffled at how your mind works.

It's been 4 hours and you were finally starting to lose it though. Especially since both you and Katsuki had nothing to do today. You crawled out of his bed and shivered when the cold air touched your skin. You grabbed one of his blankets and wrapped it around you.

You walked behind to where Katsuki was sitting and looked over his shoulder. You hugged him from behind and put your head on his shoulder, wrapping the blanket around him in the process. This got his attention and he slightly turned his head to look at you, raising an eyebrow to silently ask what you want.

You huffed and hurried your face into his neck. "Let's go on a date. You've been studying for 4 hours. Take a break." You said, your breath on his neck making his shudder a bit.

"I still need to study. I don't want bad grades like you." You looked at him and he poked you with the end of the highlighter he's using in your forehead.

"B's aren't that bad. Plus, you retain information better by taking breaks." You mocked glared at him.

You watched him chew slightly on the inside of his cheek. He was considering your idea, but wasn't fully there.

"Please? It's been a while since we both haven't been busy. I know I see you in class and I don't wanna sound needy or anything, but I miss you." You confessed, slightly furrowing your eyebrows and looking away from him.

That's all he needed to hear before deciding that maybe taking a break isn't so bad. "Fine. Where are you dragging me this time?" He glared at you, but you could tell that there's no bite to it.

You smiled up at him, happy that he agreed to take a break. "It's a surprise."

~~~~~~~

After getting ready for your date and dragging Katsuki in random directions, or at least to him, you finally showed up to your destination.

"Ice skating?" He said in what most people would see as disgust as he looked at the rink with a bunch of people skating around. Some people were in big groups and some were in pairs. After knowing him for a while you could tell that it wasn't disgust and that it was almost uncertainty.

"Yeah. Every year my family and I would go ice skating together. I haven't gone this year so I figured we could do it together." You beamed up at him, obviously excited.

Seeing your face look so happy and hopeful that he would like the idea, he knew couldn't say no to you. He wordlessly walked ahead of you and gently tugged on your arm to get you walking with him.

He went up to the lady in the booth to get the both of you your ice skates. After getting your ice skates and paying you made your way to a bench with Katsuki right next to you.

You flawlessly and quickly tied up your ice skates, half from excitement and half from experience. You looked over to see Katsuki struggling a bit.

"You want some help?" You tried to stiffle your giggle, but failed a bit. He shot you a glare at the sound.

"Shut up, dumbass." He looked away from you. His cheeks were slightly flushed from embarrassment and from the cold.

"Katsuki, have you ever been ice skating before?" You questioned. You didn't get a response back so you assumed that he hasn't. "If you wanna do something else then that's ok, you know. I just wanna spend time with you." You sat forward to see his face and poked his cheek.

He huffed and turned his head so you could see his side profile. "I may not have been ice skating before, but I'm not gonna do something else when. This clearly makes you happy."

Your heart skipped a beat at his words. You were thankful for the cold so it could hide your blush. "Can I teach you then?" You asked feeling giddy about the idea of teaching the Bakugou Katsuki, someone who knows how to do practically everything, something.

He only nodded, not wanting to verbally ask for help. You giggled and the sound never fails to have butterflies fill his stomach.

You got up and bent down in front of him. "First, you have to tie your shoes correctly."

He watched in slight awe at hiw perfect and fast you tied his shoes up. You stood up and held out your hand.

"Next, you gotta get up." He grabbed your hand and pulled himself up, almost losing balance. He grabbed onto your shoulders to steady himself, making you laugh.

"Fucking hell." You heard Katsuki mutter.

"You ok?" You chuckled a little and grabbed his waist to help steady him.

"Fucking peachy. How how the hell do you move in these things?" He grumbled.

"Ok, if you say so. I'm gonna start moving now." You warned him as you started moving backwards. He tightened his grip on you and looked down at your feet in surprise. How the hell can you go backwards?

You both finally got to the ice and Katsuki immediately slipped. He would have fallen if he wasn't holding onto you.

When he finally regained his balance and could stand he slightly relaxed his grip on your shoulders. Suddenly, you ripped yourself away from him, making him lose his balance again. You slid close to him and steadied him, laughing in the process.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?!?!" Katsuki screeched making some people look at you both. You just giggled and slowly removed yourself from him this time.

He only noticed what you were doing when it was too late and you were out of his reach. All he could do was to try to stay upright while you were going around him slowly in circles. "You're fine, Kat. Just do what I do."

You went by his side and showed him what to do. He started to get the hang of it, but he got too comfortable too soon. He slipped again and fell, but he grabbed onto you and pulled you down with him. He landed on his back and you landed on your stomach next to him.

You started laughing till you couldn't breathe anymore. Katsuki laughed a little, but he had a big smile on his face. When you finally caught your breath, you stood back up. You held out an hand for Katsuki to take. He took it and you helped him regain his balance again.

You interlaced your fingers together instead of letting go and slowly started skating forward. You looked over to your hot headed boyfriend and saw him looking down at his feet.

"Relax. Don't think about it too much." You gently smiled at how cute he looked when his head turned toward you.

"Kinda hard to not think about falling, idiot." He huffed and gently flicked your forehead. Your just scrunched up your nose in return.

"Think about something else then, dummy." You flicked his forehead back. He sent a mock glare at you.

Katsuki gently bit his lip as if he was considering something. All of a sudden you were being pulled forward, going much faster than you were a second ago. You realize that it's Katsuki pulling you.

You let go of his hand and started to pick up more speed. You quickly passed him. You turned around and gave him a taunting wave. Being who he was, Katsuki couldn't refuse a challenge. Even if it was about something he barely knew anything about or how to do.

He picked up his pace, still aware of how bad he is at ice skating. He decided to fuck it and went as fast as he could to catch up to you.

You slowed down a lot wanting to have Katsuki catch up to you. You heard someone going really fast behind you and you turned around just to see Katsuki coming at you. Before you could react you were tackled into a hug and fell to the ground again.

You opened your eyes to see Katsuki panting above you with a victorious grin on his face. You raised an eyebrow as if to say 'Why the hell did you do that?' but still smiled with him.

He leaned down and gently placed his lips against yours. It was a small kiss, but it was enough to make your heart flutter. "Ice skating isn't as shitty as I thought."

You laughed and kissed him one more time before gently pushing against his chest to get him to get up. You both spent an hour or two more ice skating and messing around.

~~~~~~~

You and Katsuki entered his dorm after going on your date that the both of you needed. You flopped onto his bed again thinking he would go back to studying after the longer than expected break he took. What you weren't expecting was for him to roll you over and lay down next to you and bringing you into his chest.

"What are you doing?" You looked up at him with furrowed brows.

"Is it illegal for me to hold my girlfriend?"

"No, I just thought you were going to go back to studying. I'm more than happy with this though."

"I thought about it but I don't think I'd be able to focus on studying right now."

You hummed already feeling half asleep. You wrapped an arm around his waist and moved closer to him. "Thank you." You mumbled quietly.

Before Katsuki could ask what for he felt your breathing even out. "I love you, Y/n." He gently whispered so he didn't wake you. What he didn't know is that you heard him say those words before you drifted off. Your last thought was that you knew that no matter what happens in the future Bakugou Katsuki will always have a piece of your heart.

~~~~~~~

"Mommy!! Mommy!! Look I'm doing it!!" Your 6 year old daughter looked up at you with her beautiful red eyes. Her small hands holding yours as she slowly slid across the ice.

"MOM!! HELP HE'S GONNA MURDER ME!!!" You looked up at the words your son screeched out. You see him skating to you away from his father who was chasing him. He hid behind you in hopes that you'd protect him.

"Katsuki, murder my son and I'll mrder you." You smiled as your husband skated to a stop in front of you.

"That damn brat. He said that you love him more that you love me." He grumbled, slightly pouting.

You looked at your 9 year old son, that looked like a carbon copy of his father, with an eyebrow raised. He sheepishly smiled at you.

"He's not lying." You left with that, taking your daughter more around the ice ring.

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tartagilicious · 4 years ago

Note

Hi, I've got a bit of a weird request for MLQC. What would be different with an MC who was a player of the game before somehow getting pulled into the first chapter of it? They don't have to have played through everything, but definitely at least up to ch 13, after Lucien's reveal. Which of the guys would notice MC acting weird? Would MC ever tell them? How would they react? How does this mess with the plotline?

😳 wait when I tell you I used to think about this on a daily basis- I’ve never gone into much depth with it though, so I guess now is a better time than ever! let’s say that for drama’s sake, this person has played up to chapter 29, since I think that’s the last chapter she reunites with them after being gone for 6 months.

Lucien:

- In my eyes, this always starts with the MC waking up confused in her apartment. She recognises the area around her based now what she’s seen in the game and is familiar with though she obviously thinks it’s a dream. Until, that it is, there are texts from in game characters that come from the phone on the bedside table. She’s more unsure then.

- She explores the apartment briefly and is freaked out when she recognises the kitchen, but decides that she should try visiting some other places she remembers from the game to try and confirm what’s going on. On the way out, she runs into Lucien, who’s leaving his apartment at the same time.

- By chapter 29, the last we’ve seen of Lucien is when you’re reunited and he confesses those things to you while he thinks you’re asleep. Because of this, and also because of outside sources, this person understands his situation and his personality much more. There’s a lot less hesitancy, but she isn’t sure what Lucien knows at this point. At the very least, it’s comforting to her that she has the upper hand when he’s not quite smitten for her yet.

- I always end up confiding in Lucien because I’m biased, though normally, that’s obviously not a good idea T-T

- Though of course, early Lucien is very far from a threat, so he notices how bewildered she is to see him and is more concerned than anything. It’s hard to know what to say without completely revealing everything, but I can imagine she’d be struggling either way. She would probably slip up once, maybe referring to something personal between them that hasn’t happened yet out of nerves

- He’d be polite about it, not even a bit wary because I don’t even think the MC knew she had an evol yet, and he’d know that. It’d be better just to assume that she’s spewing nonsense than actually looking very deep into it.

- I have a feeling that this would end up messing with the plot pretty badly, actually. She knows a version of him that doesn’t exist yet, and this would be a singular issue imo. His personality is night and day when comparing to the beginning to how he is currently. It would get her into a lot of trouble either way, but could possibly also force Lucien go undergo development much much earlier

- I can imagine her trying to curve his betrayal. he tells her to meet him at the place he tells her his real motives (the news station?? that skinny and tall building idk ;-;) and she just flat out says no. you can’t leave me if I don’t let you >:)

Victor:

- this!!!!! I have such a soft spot for victor and it shows in how this plays out in my head. Without a doubt, the only person that I would trust with the information that I was pulled into the game is Victor. Throughout most of the game, mostly later chapters, Victor is kind of like her partner — she learns to trust him with almost everything, and they work through the situations they can together. They save each other’s lives countless times. This is a lot for one person to carry while the other is clueless of any of that ever happening.

- Next, I feel like it’s reasonable that she would try to seek out everyone else, and where better to find Victor at this point than LFG? Conveniently, once she gets in the office, Goldman hunts her down to tell her that Victor’s waiting for her in his office to discuss the final terms of investment. talk about nostalgia lol

- personally. I’d feel panicked going up to his office. Victor is a very intimidating guy when you aren’t close to him, and acting as you normally would around him will not only be possibly humiliating but also just not effective at all.

- she would devise a plan in her head and as they talk, would slip in small details that kind of further the plot without revealing too much. so for example, mention how the investment is so important to her because she was an orphan and wants to make a name and prove that anyone can do what they dream to. he’d probably try asking more about that, but if not, she could always go into further detail like how she was injured pretty badly trying to save someone else around that time, but doesn’t really remember why and wants to find this person to see if they’re doing okay. This would advance their relationship like 10 chapters, but it would be pretty hasty. This would just be to let him know who she is and what kind of things the future will contain

- Once he figures out what she’s doing, he’d ask what her purpose is — why did she seek him out? to this, she’d most likely reveal her dilemma, and how she was pulled into this world from hers, and knows what will happen for months in the future because of the circumstances

- whether or not he’d retain this affection that he has for the MC when knowing that she isn’t technically who he’s looking for is up for debate, but regardless, something like that is definitely too good to pass up. he’s always been connected to black swan, and knowing her and enlisting her help would most likely come in handy.

Gavin:

- I think I’ve implied that these events take place somewhere in the first few chapters rather than the first so :( I’ll just continue with that. that might even work better, because it gives them at least a bit of a connection to this person. I don’t really remember what happens in the first few chapters, ngl, but I think it’s pretty calm.

- Gavin!!!! whether he’s your favourite or not, you can’t deny that this man is a literal pilar of support. he’s the knight in their dynamic, whereas she’s the queen. she knows he’s not as intimidating as he seems, and her immediate friendliness might throw him off a bit, but I think it’d be a good thing.

- part of the reason he backs off so much in the earlier chapters is so he doesn’t overwhelm her with all of these sudden developments (like coming back to be her personal guard, about black swan, etc) In the original plot, Gavin knows much more than he lets on, always more than the mc does at the very least.

- this would probably change their relationship a lot. I mean, obviously, whoever this is that’s been pulled into the game is bound to have a different personality to the normal mc. she’s more joking and doesn’t hesitate so much, and obviously is a lot smarter and confident due to knowing the future. she doesn’t have to rely on Gavin for information like the original mc does. instead, she acts with him.

- this literally takes 27 chapters in the game. when she meets Gavin in that evol institution in ch27, that’s the first time they fight comfortably side by side.

- Gavin would definitely notice such a drastic change in personality from the shy and kind girl he knew in high school. he might comment on it a few times, but I feel like a personality change is a bit easier to justify, especially since it’d been a few years. she technically has the mc’s memories, so it’s not suspicious or anything. he’d probably eventually let it go.

- though, I think it’s pretty plausible that he’d find out you’re not actually the mc he knows later, maybe by mistake or by you telling him. but by then, he’s also grown attached to this new version of her and doesn’t mind as much.

Kiro:

- you wouldn’t have to tell him you were pulled into the game. he’d know.

- with his connections as Helios and also just his general memory of the mc, it wouldn’t take very long for him to figure out that she’s not the person he’s been chasing for years. and the mf would probably point it out too, scaring her half to death.

- of course, he doesn’t know how she appeared, just that she did, replacing the actual mc. but, despite how he’s very honest about knowing she isn’t who she says she are, he’s empathetic. it’s hard not to be when she has the mc’s face.

- she’d tell him what happened and how she appeared, partly because she wants to trust him and partly because he seems a bit threatening, but either way, I see him as an eventual ally. she knows the inner workings of everything and would be a great help to him in messing with black swan. they’d pretty much be an unstoppable duo with their combined knowledge.

- as they get closer, she feels it’s necessary to tell him that he doesn’t have to leave to protect her. she can handle herself, and him ever leaving would only cause more grief and make things complicated. he would probably tell her not to worry, that he wouldn’t just leave unprompted.

- when he ends up leaving anyway, it stings more than it did watching it on a screen.

- though, that also makes the reunion more memorable, and it would probably go differently as well. maybe kiro is this mc’s LI?? that would be cool asf

#I lowkey wanna write the kiro one hm #UHH #mr love queen’s choice #mlqc #mlqc victor #mlqc lucien #mlqc gavin #mlqc kiro #mlqc x reader #mr love queen’s choice x reader

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ab1tofsp1ce · 3 years ago

Text

A Warmer Refuge

CHAPTER 4: Tender and Untouched

Masterlist HERE

A/N: Hey everyone! I have more parts coming soon so follow if you’re interested!

Pairing: Din Djarin x Fem!Reader

Words: 3K

Warnings: Just fluff and a bit of angst

Description: You finally open up to the Mandalorian a bit, who seems to be far more interested in your life than you anticipated.

I don’t remember how or when I fell asleep, but I did drift in and out of consciousness enough times to paint a picture of what happened over the next few hours. Despite being exhausted, the cold initially kept me from falling asleep. Although I’m sure it truly wasn’t that frigid, I’d spent my whole life on sun-kissed dunes, far away from these rugged mountains. I lay there, using my rucksack as a pillow, curled up in a desperate bid to retain some warmth. Then, at some point, I felt a blanket of some kind drape over me, quelling my shivers. Later, I flickered into consciousness for a brief second to recognize the warmth and scent of fire, burning a few feet away from me. Finally, one last time, I briefly stirred again far later. I had turned over and was facing away from the entrance to the cave and the fire, its warmth washing over my back. Above the low crackle of the fire, I could hear the rain had faded, only contributing a gentle patter outside. This enabled me to now hear something else; the Mandalorian’s breathing. He gently cleared his throat with a clarity I hadn’t heard before. And then I realized why. He wasn’t wearing his helmet. And, when I listened further, I realized it was because he was eating. I was so exhausted I barely had the energy to stay awake and listen, but just the idea that he was right there, so close to me (even if a few feet away). He felt comfortable enough – maybe even trusting of me – to remove it. This thought sent a final jolt of glee through my heart, and then my eyes gave in, and I fell back to sleep.

When I woke up it was dark, and I was still turned away from the fire. As I sat up and looked over, I saw that the fire was only a glowing ember and… he wasn’t there. My heart froze, and I felt a rush in my head as I sat up more frantically. His stuff was still there, as was mine. The rain was still dimly pattering down outside, echoing slightly in this small cave. I stood up; the blanket that had been wrapped around me falling to the ground. When I looked down at it, I realized it was not a blanket, but his cape. My heart began to pound as I scanned the cave. Outside, it was too black to see anything further than a foot or two from the entrance of the cave. I approached it, barely noticing the stinging of my wounded leg. My eyes were yet to adjust, and the darkness seemed all-consuming and never-ending. I felt it caught in my throat – I wanted to yell out to him. I felt myself begin to panic. I fought with myself and my better judgment, before taking a step out of the mouth of the cave. The rain dripped down my arms, and I drew in a shaky breath for courage. But just as I took another step, I saw something in the distance. Something shiny, reflecting the extraordinarily dim glow of the dying fire behind me. As it grew closer, I began to make out a figure; I sighed in relief, almost collapsing right there. The Mandalorian marched towards me, blaster in hand. I was yet to see him with his weapon drawn, a strange thing considering it was such an integral part of his job. He stopped about ten feet away from me, still holding his blaster at his side. He seemed to be looking at me like he was expecting an answer. “I – you scared me,” was all I managed to stutter out. “I woke up and you were gone.” He stood there for a moment, and I thought he was going to disregard what I said like he usually did. “There was a noise, I went to go investigate.” I wasn’t sure what to do. In truth, I was just so relieved to see him there I wanted to bask in it for another moment. We just stood there staring at each other. It was funny, how he was only gone for a brief moment, and yet he had almost given me a heart attack. It made me realize how much I had been relying on him; on a foreign planet, far from civilization, in the middle of the night – he was the only thing protecting me. “Come on,” he said, securing his blaster back in its holster. “You’ll freeze in the rain.”

After reviving the fire, the Mandalorian sat down in the same spot as before, while I shuffled my pile of stuff a little closer to the fire so I could properly dry off. I had quickly discovered that my clothes, which were the same ones I had worn on Yak’ish Temeen, were not made for wetter biomes. Even though it had been hours since my first stint in the rain they had still been wet and were even more so now. Part of me knew I’d have trouble keeping warm in wet clothes, but there was no way I was going to try and have that conversation with the Mandalorian. So, instead, I rolled up my sleeves to wring them out and get some of the fire’s warmth on my skin. “What’s that?” The Mandalorian interrupted my thoughtless mind with his abrupt question. I looked up to see him gesturing to my left arm, in particular to my tattoo. It was a thick red band that circled my bicep, except for a one-inch gap at the front. “It’s cultural,” I tried to explain. “When we come of age, we get this tattoo. To show all other Grat’anarians that we are old enough to leave our carousel, or herd our cattle, or to get – ”. I realized then I didn’t want to finish that sentence. It was a can of worms I wasn’t ready to open. But my hesitance had come too late. “To get what?” There was an earnest tone to this question. I regarded him for a moment; how he looked genuinely interested in me. “To get married,” I admitted. “Were you…,” he trailed off, and I felt myself grow hot in the cheeks. “Oh! No! I mean… I could’ve, obviously, but I wasn’t…” I paused. “I couldn’t leave my family.” “Is that… what happens,” he asked. “When you get married?” I shrugged, looking down at my dirty, scraped hands. “Not necessarily. But when we marry it’s generally between different carousels, so one would have to move and the other would stay.” There was a moment of silence. “Why couldn’t you leave your family?” He had a cautious tone, clearly unsure of whether I’d be happy answering that question. “My brother and I were raised by my grandparents,” I began. “He was much younger than me and, when my grandmother became sick, I knew I couldn’t leave them. Our income depended on my grandfather traveling to Yemi’natar, but he needed someone with him. So, I started going.” I glanced up at him, and he was looking at me. It felt like he was trying to read me, to figure out what I really meant. I wasn’t sure what to do with that, so I kept talking. “The gap, here,” I gestured to the tattoo, “was supposed to be filled when I got married. It would hold a crest that belonged to… to my spouse’s family. They would get mine and I would get theirs. It’s meant to be a symbol of gratitude to your new in-laws; like a thank-you to them for raising your spouse.” I stared at the tattoo, which all of a sudden struck me as empty. “I’ll never get to fill it now.” The Mandalorian cleared his throat. “What… what happened back there? If you have refugee status for entering Kistern…” I sighed. I hadn’t talked about it. Not out of reserve or grief, but because I hadn’t had anyone to talk to. For the past year I’d been alone, barely surviving on scavenged scraps and favors owed by old acquaintances of my family. But, in truth, the general population of Yak’ish Temeen held, at best, very little regard for Grat’anarians, even though we were one the only true natives to the planet. “Grat’anarians were never favored by other species that settled on Yak’ish Temeen. We have a strong connection to the land, and we know how to not just survive but thrive on it. Some, particularly the –”. I let out a shaky breath. “… particularly the Pelosans never liked us. The Empire had promised them our land in exchange for their allegiance. But when the Empire fell, the Pelosans decided to take matters into their own hands.” I shuddered, trying to suppress the memories. “We were never fighters like they were. And worse, we never expected it.” “What about the New Republic?” I scoffed; it was a childish question. “What about them? There’s been so much disarray in the past few years, they didn’t know or care about what was happening on a small, isolated planet on the edge of the galaxy until it was too late.” It was hard to hide the contempt in my voice. Truthfully, I knew little about the politics of the galaxy, but I didn’t care to. All that mattered in my mind was that there was no one to help when we needed it, and now I was here because of it. The Mandalorian shuffled uncomfortably and looked away, and I realized I may have been too scornful. I tried to smile at him softly, to lessen the sting of my words, but I couldn’t think of anything else to say. What else was there to say? Except… “What about you?” I asked. He looked back up at me, as if confused, so I clarified. “What are you planning to do on Kistern?” He stared into the fire. “I’m hoping to find someone… find information, about something.” I was a little disheartened at his lack of transparency, although I wasn’t entirely sure what I expected from him. I felt sad, truthfully, at the sound of his voice. It was so… well, scared. Maybe that word was too strong, but there was something that twinged in his voice, a sound reminiscent of a feeling I knew all too well; loss. If he had told me outright that he had lost a lot in his life, I certainly wouldn’t have been surprised. I’m sure you don’t become a bounty hunter for the enjoyment. But, in some way, the less he said the more he said. It was his reservation, the ache of guilt or grief that resonated in his voice, that I recognized. I had felt it every second of my life for almost a year. “I hope you find it,” was all I managed to muster. In my peripheral vision I noticed him look back up at me as I looked down at the ground. It was a trifling talent I had always possessed, and I could see, with remarkable clarity, the exact way he was currently staring at me despite the fact I wasn’t looking at him. He was watching me, and although I couldn’t see what was happening under that helmet, I could’ve sworn I felt his eyes travel up and down me, lingering on my face as if scanning it for an ulterior meaning. My heart thumped loudly at the thought – the idea that he was watching me. That I was interesting enough to be observed in this way. The last year of my life I’d been forgotten, shed from society. Actually, if I was being truthful, I’d felt that way my whole life. Quiet, and of little to no importance. It wasn’t because of anything anyone had ever done; in fact, that was the exact reason why I had felt so lost. It was the same reason I had slaved for hours over those stupid little trinkets my grandmother had given me – I was so desperate to prove my worth. And now I was, as far as I knew, the last of my people still alive. For a whole year I’d lived with that survivor’s guilt, of how ordinary and unimportant I was, and I wondered why it couldn’t have been someone else smarter or braver sitting here where I am now. It didn’t matter that I had that tattoo – I still felt like a child. A tear slid down my cheek silently, and I frantically wiped it off with my sleeve. But it was too late. I couldn’t hold it back. The pain, the guilt, the grief, the exhaustion. Although my face remained straight, a desperate bid to retain some integrity, I couldn’t help crying wordlessly. My vision blurred; I could no longer tell if he was looking at me. Apparently, he was. “I lost everyone,” he said quietly, and I responded by quickly attempting to regain my composure. He was staring into the fire distantly. “Not just my Creed, but… but my real family, too. Many years ago.” He seemed to sigh silently. “And then, just when I thought I found another family, I lost them too.” It was hard not to quiver at the sound of his voice. So disheartened, aching with longing. “Who was… who was your new family?” He looked down at his hands, as I had before. “They were more of… an unlikely friend.” He chuckled slightly, as if recalling a memory of a fonder time. The sound was so warm and comforting, I couldn’t help but smile too. “I could use a friend,” I admitted. I bit my tongue after, wondering if I’d overstepped an invisible line between us. I remembered suddenly what his hand had felt like, warm under mine – tender and untouched. “Me too,” he said.

#the mandalorian #star wars #din djarin #din djarin x reader #mando x you #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian fanfic #the mandalorian fic #din djarin fanfic #din djarin fic #din djarin reader insert #din djarin x ofc #the mandalorian imagine #din djarin imagine #din djarin x you

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