#and now. while I was stressing about this CAS application.

[waitineedaname]

I am going to tear my hair out

[caneiwestminster]

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[theorist-influencer-untitled]

9.7.23 Thursday

4:43 pm

I'm home and I still have windblow trap... I feel bad today...

Before the end of our shift Coach John and Melai announced that only few passed the exams on our TLC...

Well, I have so many observations in Iqor their way of teaching the skills are somehow weird... For example Iqor will throw you in the canal first before they will teach the right way... Not all but on calls experience.

The new girl Ana,the arrogant one, is the highest on our TLC exams which is 44... A double number... Melai announced this... But I heard Ana approached coach Gian, Ana said that she is the highest on our 75 items exam.

The total items is 75... So, I'm somehow panicking... I'm praying for half as well but it could be a play or there will be a reverse game on someone made by coach John ... I sense something bad...But I can't pin-point...

It is just weird that they hired you then there is a chance that they will remove you... It is not a job... Why,they will motivate people to be a professional, people went there to have a job and earn...

I'm almost wanting to give up on call center these days but I feel bitter ... I feel bitter...

Why being a call center agent is so complicated.. Why, I can't do it and why other's can...

Melai mentioned about the DNA acronym but who made it? She gave a quick annoucement before doing our call, she said ask the customer if there was a Device,Network and Account that I wasn't able to cover ( tell this to your cx's )...

I hate church of christ, I sense a church of christ crime...

We had a "QA Talk" the narrator explained those " first degree, 2nd,3rd and 4th degree"... Is this a crime scene??? Was someone murdered? Or they plan to kill someone... But degree's over the phone... It is very crucial coz there is a pattern to follow or flow your call... You shouldn't have dead air... Shit,no dead air!

I feel fat,ugly and wrinkled and I can't get a position... I feel bitter!!! I WANTED TO BE SUPER SKINNY,ANGELS...But I hate the stress part...

Weird! You already got the job, you will have your atm, they hired you then they will remove you coz of an exams... Work is different but if feels like I'll be student forever... I feel bitter...

11:54 am

Lately, I'm getting 6 hours sleep plus this windblow trap...

I'm thinking of that exam... There are so many things to say but I'm so damn busy in the house...

I wanted the foreigner on TV, the owner of Iqor... Damn! I'm not that Filipino but Filipino but not that much...

There are so many fake people let's face it, they are all competing for that fucking job!

We are just having some trouble these days...

The bitterish part there is no back-up for me, if there is I'm now a product manager... Not exposing myself while mastering the skills and the product... I'm on the isolated place, supposed to be... If there is really a back-up or a foreigner bf there, one of the top handsome aliens...

If I have a businessman bf handsome and wealthy....I should be in the office, getting the job and learning it piece per piece... Once I got everything, that's time I will face people to present this products...

1:07 pm...

I feel bitterish,poorish but still doing my own selfie...

1:21 pm

Hmm...

The right way of hiring,if the applicant passed everything, but during the training applicants have their own ups and downs, they can't remove them for straight 6 months or a year...

Coz being a call center and learning the tools and the information and flow of the product is not easy most specially,I'm not a kid...But they still saw me or seeing me as a kid... I have personal struggles in life right now, family and money...

People who came into that road of call center are all coming from all walks and struggling road of life but there are some wealthy kids or a group inside that are already organized to be leaders of that fucking world... But I need money and job for a long while...

I'm really an outsider / courtsider there in Iqor, not yet... My point since people who came there from different struggling roads of life,like my case, I just borrowed the money to apply and during my first 2 weeks, it was a borrowed money that I need to pay... Gets my points angels?

1:32 pm

I'm just hoping and somehow expecting that I got a half of the 75 items that I almost perfect my exams in Caregiving lately that it was like you are on a Biology class as well that I always got 140 to 180 plus out of 200 items every Friday, every week for straight 7 months... It was exams! Hellish but I'm expecting that Nigthingale will assist us going out on a quality homecare in USA but pandemic came in and my certification is becoming nothing these days... That I told them I have frustration and it is really depressing that you are expecting a 100k monthly, we had OJT's and it was hellish OJT's but they never take me seriously... My sacrifices just to earn 100k... Then they will just smash me down in Iqor call center for 13k... Ouchie!

Recalling the exams!

I'm trying to recall the exams mostly you should answer in a "dialouge form" how will you deliver this situation to your customers...

Define the differences of Jump and JOD.

Jump- There will always be P360 meaning a protection for your phone. It always goes with that insurance. If you pay 50% of it the device you can return it to the store or do a job order.

JOD-Jump on Demand-- The mobile is for lease or for rent. There will be no device promotion coz it is for lease but if they have good credit score they can upgrade every 30 days.

The different kinds of suspensions that the company gave to their customers such as Military,Lost & Stolen, & Seasonal Suspension.

Military-- Customer can suspend their service for 9 months up to 39 months, no charge.

Lost & Stolen-- Customer can suspend just for 30 days with charge,it depends on the tiering or bracketing or category of your phone. They will just file an insurance or can get a replacement.

Seaonal Suspension-- 90 days ( twice in a calendar year ) $10 per line.

The tools such as Dash where you can process the order... In Atlas you can check the account of the customer even on Samson. ( But these things take time, familiarization and being get used to your job as call center agent ).

Triple A on us! My super favorite!!! -- This is a road help,expensive if not part of the plan. But on some plans the ancestors it is just free...

Easy Unlock/ Carrier Freedom-- meaning from different provider we can take care of customer's device with a reimbursement up to #650/line. But this is applicable for trade in!

Keep & Switch-- the customer will "port-in" from different provider. They kept their device and number. The reimbursement is up to $800/ device.

Coverage Beyond or Tmo Tuesday-- it is the benefits that a customer can get for being part of the family or a loyalty program. Check that on offer on our C2 policy.

Phone Freedom-- the first uncarrier moves,it is as well a " go back guarantee".

Go back guarantee-- ported over then they will go back to their old provider for $50, they can return within 30 days.

BRP--billing right party or PAH - Primary Account Holder. The main leader of the account meaning that BRP can have more than 1 lines under his name or ownership. This is usually used in a company group...

Internet Freedom or Test Drive Kit-- this is super favorite of Tin2x, it is for $ 750. But we have...

Unlimited Home Internet-- but it has a requirements to pass such as if the "billing address" is eligible for coverage to put an installation.

Home Internet Lite Plan--If the area or location doesn't have a line yet or network coverage coz this is wireless...

Close Date-- the day of activation or day of joining.

Ex. Aug. 16 the close date or date of activation.

Sept. 17 start date again. From here count 20-24 days that will be the due date! ( but on the actual this is kinda confusing with the tools and talking over the phone ).

Introduce or position the promo to your customer. This promo you have to check the plan of your customer if they are eligible. If they are eligible and no past due. You can promote the promo,the usual this is an upgrade plans or sometimes they give free phone or discounted phone and service but it depends on the promo.

2 types of billing:

1. Paperless/ electronic billing

2. Mail/ Snail Mail

SSO-self service option- website of company and the application apps on phone-- customer can check their account status or buy a phone.

Choose a language English or Spanish with a combination of Indians? Huh? Spanish and Indians together??? Shocking!

I love arab people!

I already referred Enrica to be part of Iqor coz she asked me ,my neighbor here if I can put her on my referral.... I did yesterday on my Engage Hr at my Employee Portal.

2:37 pm

Will give the reviewer here,the tools it is about taking time to get used to it...

More more of these airy thingy of bad hearts in Iqor. Guilty or not guilty?

Slack tools- where you can chit-chat with your wave mates, a private chat.

C2- where you can get those circular documents about devices and plans and rules to do the battle... You will be a soldier of words!

If you are a call center agent- you are a soldier of words! Keep on twisting your tongue.

Buyer remorse-- 14 to 20 days customer can return their phone but only applicable for "brand new phone".

What tools to use if you wanna make a follow-up?? --Samson make a follow-up twice leave a voice a call even discuss FCR.

Where you can get the slack? Go to C2 scroll down click the t-nation then on the left click the blue arrow then on the screen click again the blue arrow then on the search box click the slack.

If you can't find slack just keep on closing and try to open again...

If you can't find the these service production or service training on the screen of GOOGLE! See the 3 dots on the right click it then find the bookmarks and if it doesn't appear click at the same time the control, shift then delete and box will appear click that clear cache.

Then open a tab again on the 3 dots go to bookmarks then you will find now these service production/partner and service trainings.

Ooppss! Don't forget to switch off the cpu and the monitor before plugging in your headset, to make sure that the headset will sync in...

CPU is the brain of the computer.

3:13 pm

Chill! Iqorian... We are just on the floor and in a while just a wall flower... If I'm the supervisor chill and just be nice to your customer... That's it!.

Don't smash people! Be nice to people...

[grazieschillivera]

Both is good

Summary : you have to babysit for a friend but unfortunately this only leads to Butcher being more stressed out

Word count : ca. 1800

You didn't even had to reach the last step or the stairs down to your hideout to see the lost faces of the boys.

,,What the hell Y/N?'' asked Hughie with furrowed brows, after a moment of weird silence.

,,What?I forgot something.'' you said casually while approaching them playing stupid on purpose for that stupid reaction.Not aware of the fact, that you just stepped into an argument between Butcher and the rest on his lacking interaction with Ryan.

,,I meant that baby.What happened?'' asked Hughie.

,,Did someone never taught you about the birds and bees.'' you said now with a low giggle, while turning the baby in your arms carefully that it could face Kimiko, who slowly had walked to you all fascinated by the baby.

,,This little cutie is Daisy, she is one year old and my former roomates baby.She has some appartment inspections today and asked me to babysit while she is gone.'' you explained finally and adjusted her little cap.

,,This picture is just wrong.You with a baby?'' said Butcher in a mocking tone.

,,Why?At least I can keep my dorm clean.Those empty asia food boxes are from last weekend and I bet Hughie hasn't managed to write his application documents for a job at Neumann's Office yet.'' you said while walking past him, after you had the baby handed to Kimiko.

You could hear Hughie groan behind you.

,,Was Y/N all the time this – parenting?'' asked Hughie.

,,No she's just in her role now, like always.Last time she was a fucking IT- Pro just because she could fix the TV.Y/N is just immature.'' said Butcher.

You and the rest of the group ''shhed'' Butcher for his choice of words at the same time.He gestured Kimiko to give him the baby instead, he didn't seem to like your uneasiness with it.Kimiko might belonged to Frenchie, but that did not change the fact that she was still dangerous.

,,I think both is good.Who doesn't want a mom, who is also still a bit of a child.'' said Hughie, giving you a bit more confidence after Butcher's critic.

,,I think Y/N would make a good mother.'' said Frenchie while taking Kimiko in his embrace to sooth the daring glance on Butcher.

,,Thanks.'' you said, giving him a brief but generous smile before you turned around again to search in your bag for the coziest scarf for Daisy and gloves for you. Even though Daisy wore a jacket, gloves and a cap you wanted to make sure she wouldn't freeze while being in the park with her.

,,What about you guys?Don't you have something to do today?'' you asked while searching.They explained to you that they had nothing to do currently besides waiting for some new information from Grace Mallory.

,,Why did you took the baby from Kimiko?'' you asked Butcher with a concering eyebrow lift when you were done and faced the group again.

You knew that this question put him on the spot but you rather felt for Kimiko in that moment.

,,You can't just hand the baby to every possible person, just keep it by your side.She is a supe after all.'' he said while he handed Daisy back into your embrace.His voice was clear, he had nothing to hide.

,,What happened the last time you had a baby in you arm?Three people got killed.'' you said while adjusting Daisy on your arm.

,,No one said I would be the better option love.'' said Butcher.

,,Well obviously not.You're always so critizising and serious, no wonder you just stay the same.'' you said.You two exchanged a daring stare.

The athmosphere was far too tense to let someone utter, what everyone thought.This scene was almost like a fight between mommy and daddy.

,,Then why don't you gather up your stuff and -.'' Butcher said but you interrupted him.

,,Fuck off.Yes just what I was thinking.'' you said in a low voice while covering Daisy's small ears.

,,Alright.I will be in the park if someone wants to join.'' you said before you walked to the door.You only noticed some weird noises behind you instead of a proper answer.With a curious look you turned around before you shoot at everyone a daring look not sure what that was about.

The entire park was covered with powdery snow, that glittered in the sun and crunched underneath the shoes.Unfortunately for you no snow fell from the sky, but Daisy still seemed to be amazed by it.Her little head turned around all the time, trying to see as much as possible.

A memory from your childhood crossed your minds.

,,Daisy?Shall I show you a magic trick?You know, I can let it snow.'' you said to Daisy before you started walking to a fir until you stood directly underneath it.You waited until you had Daisy's full attention at your hand, that had reached for a lower branch.Thats when you pulled it down and a gentle snowfall came down on you.Daisy's high pitched noises and kicking made you giggle, she clearly wanted a bonus.

You were far too occupied with her that you didn't notice how Butcher stood some meters away on the sidewalk and watched you.Then you would have noticed his poorly hidden smile due to how warm you made his heart feel at a sudden.

Instead you met Butcher's grumpy face, when you turned around after the third time you pulled on one of those snow covered branches.On his hair and shoulders laid a good amount of snowflakes.While Daisy showed her amusement merciless you could not really laugh at all.

,,What do you want here?'' you asked.

,,Thought you offered us to join you.'' said Butcher.

Some moments later you three sat down on a bench.

,,So what's the matter with shaking the snow from the threes?'' asked Butcher, who seemed to struggle with finding his words.

,,My mom always used to do this with me.She always called it a magic trick.'' you said back in this memory and Butcher snorted.

,,What?Was that already to immature again?'' you asked a bit annoyed by now.

,,Then tell me your favourite memory of your childhood?'' you said , when you got the feeling what topic Butcher might needed to talk about.

He thought about this for a moment.

,,I don't know.Maybe the days when Lenny and I went out fishing, he was into that stuff.Spending the entire fucking day on a lake waiting for nothing.'' Butcher said, but still his lips curled up in a smile.

,,Sounds fun.'' you said despite his uncomfortable tone.

,,Honestly.My dad also used to do this before he cheated on my mom and left us.Maybe you should try this out with Ryan.'' you said earning a sharp glimpse from him.His fists were balled.

,,Why does everyone has to come up with this fucking topic?'' he asked.That was the moment when you decided to not just accept Butcher's stubborness.

,,Butcher!'' you said now gesturing the Daisy, the second time of him cursing was enough for your liking.Normally you wouldn't mind.

,,Because you clearly need to talk about it.Why else would you come to me after we had a discussion?You normally just ignore it until I decide to do as well.'' you said starting to occupy Daisy with your hands, wiggeling and clapping casually around.

Butcher nodded a bit defeated.

,,So great father than?'' asked he.

,,Seems to be a thing more frequently.'' you said bitterly.

You started to talk about your childhood, when Butcher finally found the courage to explain his latest attitude.You both talked about your own messed up childhood , seeing that the both of you seemed to have a fair amount of similarities.

,,Laugh at me as much as you want but those little things like the magic trick , are sometimes the only thing someone has to prevent them from doing something far more stupid.If you don't want to do it for yourself or Ryan, do it for the rest of the world.He's a supe after all.'' you said, your voice sounded still bitter, cause your mind was still in some old memories.

You covered Daisy's face with your hand, when a cold gust of wind came around.

Butcher said nothing.Instead he looked you deep into the eyes, like he tried to find something in it that you just have let shine through.

,,I know I don't belong into this and I also believe in you.. but if you need help, I would love to be there for you... both.'' you said carefully but hesitated to reach for his hand.But before you could draw your hand back to yourself Butcher took it and caressed it gently.

,,Thanks.'' was all he said but there was no need for more words.He gave you a brief but honest smile, that even reached his eyes.You knew how much Butcher hated it to accept help in certain matters.So you gave him a reassuring smile and enjoyed the moment of peace between the two of you.

,,You know that I like you having with me and that I like you just as you are.Not just when I need your help.'' he said a bit lower, since you sat closer to him by now.

You had just let those words pass without a comment and shifted a bit in his arms.You liked Butcher but you knew he was good in manipulating people.

,,Honestly Y/N.Please know this.'' he added, when he seemed to know what you had on your mind.

,,You're sometimes really sweet Butcher.I miss this.'' you said not quite sure if you meant this current moment as well.

,,You know I can't always be like that.'' Butcher said honestly.

,,Never said I don't like your other said.The only thing I really don't like is your cunt attitude.'' you said in a whisper to still keep Daisy away from those words.

This seemed to put a smile on Butcher's face.It almost felt like a deal you just had made.

The scene got interrupted by a bang behind you.With no hesitation your turned around, while keeping Daisy near against your breast only to see Hughie, Frenchie and Kimiko approaching you.According to Hughie's smirk you had a feeling who had thrown the snowball, the last bits of his remains still clang on the bench.

There it was again.Butcher's tense fists, even though it was Hughie.His arm around you shoved you closer to him.Even though you liked the fact that he looked after you, you would need to keep this thing between the two of your going.Butcher might needed some comfort but also someone to show him his boundaries of his struggles.

You freed yourself out of his embrace and gave him a smirk before handing him Daisy over, who luckily hasn't mind the bang at all.

,,Maybe you can keep her for a second? That would be a good start.Just need to teach Hughie a lesson.'' you said ironically and started to make your first snowball before you ran towards him.

Butcher looked after you.The view of you falling into the snow due to your attempt to bring Hughie to the ground, made him chuckle.You might were not the most mature person now and than, but you still could take responsibility over something he still had to learn.Maybe that was the reason he liked you.Both was good.

[kbsd]

not sure if you’ve answered this before, but what’s your process look like when you make an amv? i’m just curious and in constant awe of ppl who can make videos like you do :)

hello all!!! i have answered this before and i have a vid help tag with other asks i’ve gotten about stuff like this! but i’ve gotten several more messages along these lines so i’m just going to answer a bunch of them together (under a cut since i love to ramble about editing lol). i do just wanna say i’m definitely not the authority on video editing and obv everyone has their own techniques!

edit: i just finished typing all this up and it’s SO long so sorry in advance LMAO god bless anyone who reads this entire thing

so i work in news tv and we have a very specific workflow for writing scripts, sourcing video, producing, and editing. i’ve just applied that to making amvs! for every video i make, i copy the song lyrics into a google doc and adjust them to match the song i’ve cut (i often will trim songs for time and/or content purposes). then i start planning! i’ll mark down what clip i want to use for each lyric next to that line, and any sound bites i want to use (with episode numbers!). i’ll color code between video and sound bites and lyrics, so my scripts end up looking something like this (for my honeybee amv):

doing the planning ahead of time makes everything much easier when it’s a video that spans the whole show or involves a lot of sourcing, like honeybee or sports analogies. that way when i get to the actual editing process, i already know what i’m going to do and have a game plan. for videos like happy ending or believe it or not, where i’m mainly just pulling from a few episodes, i can just plan it in my head as opposed to writing it all down, and produce as i edit. obviously i do make in-the-moment decisions while editing—sometimes a shot doesn’t work the way i thought it would, or i go where the video takes me—but planning ahead definitely helps. i know some people use spreadsheets as well, with columns for lyrics, video clips, and sound bites if applicable. once you find a system that works, it actually goes pretty quickly.

as for sourcing clips themselves/finding clips within episodes, i talked about that here and kind of here. the short version is that transcripts are a must, and the supernatural wiki is hugely helpful by cataloguing all the hugs, prayers, phone calls, etc. in the show. gifmakers that tag episode numbers on their posts are your friends. it gets easier the more video you make—that’s another huge reason i make the google docs for each video (even the ones i plan in my head, i end up going back and making a loose script with episode notes just for reference). if i can’t remember where something is but i know i used it in another video, i can easily reference past scripts!

i also cut all my videos in the same project in premiere pro, so i can flip between them easily. instead of checking a past script, i can just go to the video sequence itself and copy the clip i’m looking for! this was especially helpful when i match cut together the 5x18 and 4x22 wall slam shots for my bestie video, and then stole it from myself for honeybee hahaha. at any given time i have at least 8 sequences open:

because of the sheer volume of videos i make, it’s worth it for me to download the entire show—i have all 327 episodes in HD, plus deleted scenes. if you think you’re only going to make a few videos, i’d start with scene packs. you can usually just google “destiel [or whatever ship/character you’re looking for] scene packs” and there will be any number of ones you can download. if you need other specific scenes, you can always download/torrent individual episodes or screen record netflix (that’s what i did before i got HD download links). i’m happy to share my links if you DM, but be warned it’s a lot of disk space (about 500GB on my hard drive). someone also compiled every destiel scene, downloadable here.

having every episode already loaded in premiere for all my projects also makes it a lot easier to source clips. once i use a clip in a video, i’ll put a marker on the episode file, so that after a while i have most of the important scenes/lines marked to easily find them. to give you an idea, this is my episode file in premiere for 12x10 lily sunder has some regrets (markers at destiel scenes, the car fight, hot girl cas, etc.). markers are the green tabs along the bottom:

premiere also lets you color code and name markers, so ONE DAY i will go back and color code them all. the ones above are all the same color, but in a perfect world, i’d have a myraid—for destiel shots like hugs, touches, looks; for important pieces of dialogue; for action shots; etc. but for now this works ok for me, so that’s a project for another time!

between detailed scripts, one giant premiere project, markers, the wiki, and my own memory, i have so many points of reference that i can usually find any clip i need in about 2 minutes max. sound bites are often harder to start out, or tiny specific shots i haven’t used before, and that’s when i turn to tumblr gifsets or beloved mutuals to crowdsource. but if you’re as obsessive about marking/keeping neat scripts as i am, it gets easier and easier with every video you make. that’s part of why i’m able to cut videos together so quickly. (also i want to stress i do this for a living and have to produce/edit a new piece for my show every day so i’m used to it. and compared to constantly updating content/sources and news that changes every day, 327 highly documented episodes that never change are much easier to handle hahaha)

this is all great for me since i make so many videos and plan to continue doing so, but if you’re only making a few, this level of work isn’t worth it imo. really it’s all about developing a system that works for you. whatever you do with episodes/sourcing, though, i cannot recommend planning things out in a script ahead of time enough. 

everything i just mentioned is producing, though. for the editing process, i usually do it in this order:

music first. any parts i want to cut, i make sure it all sounds smooth

then soundbites. i usually try to weave them into the lyrics—i have characters talk in breaks between lines or instrumental sections as much as possible. i’ll sometimes go so far as looped/extending an intsrumental part to make room for the soundbite i want there lol. if i do have dialogue over a line, i do the sound mixing/levels at this point as well to make sure everything is audible/one doesn’t overpower the other. (also i always include the video that goes with these bites when i drop them in, and decide later if i want to show the character speaking or have other clips cover the dialogue)

once i have all the audio locked in, then i bring in all my other video clips. sometimes i edit completely chronologically, sometimes jumping from section to section—it depends on the song or how i’m feeling

double check sound mixing. i usually listen to my videos through a few times, with headphones and without to make sure it’ll sound good no matter how people watch it

once i have picture and audio lock, i go through and color correct my clips. i’m basic and just use lumetri color in premiere, and usually just play with brightness, saturation, temperature, and tint until i like it

render and export! :)

i always have several audio tracks, but i try to keep my video tracks condensed. i’ll drop clips on a V2 level, and edit a section there, and drop the whole chunk down to V1 so i know it’s finished. that way when i leave and come back i can know where i left off/what’s done/etc. to give you an idea, this is the timeline for my what the hell video:

i always render as H.264 with high bitrate, and make sure to check “render at maximum depth” and “use maximum render quality” for the best quality. i’m sorry, but i don’t know what the equivalent options are in final cut, imovie, kdenlive, etc. i post on youtube mostly so i don’t have to sacrifice quality, but usually just using a lower bitrate will get you under the tumblr file size limit and it’ll still look good.

as for the anon who asked about “polishing”: first of all, thank you!! second of all, it’s in the details. all of this is a matter of taste and my own insanity, but here are some little things i always try to do:

after i color correct, i blur out any credits from the starts of episodes. i use gaussian blur for this, but really any blur tool works

as much as possible, i avoid clips where we see a character’s mouth move but don’t hear the words. in tv/film we call it “lip flap” and i just think it looks messy. also i’m trained to avoid it at all costs at work hahaha. it’s more for serious videos that this matters a lot to me (e.g. i think i did a really good job eliminating lip flap in my happy ending amv)—for comedy videos i don’t sweat it as much

i put audio fades on the start and end of every single audio clip i use, even if i don’t think i need it, to make sure everything sounds smooth

i use markers for timing, especially in action-y videos like what the hell. i’ll put a marker on the clip i’m using at the exact moment a punch lands, and in the song on the beat. if i have the magnet/snap in timeline tool on i can just easily snap them together instead of having to spend time finagling it

this is such a small thing but i dip/cut to black for a tiny bit at the start and end of every video. this way if i post with tumblr video player, there’s black between the loops, and it gives you a beat before the video restarts. i do this even on videos i post on youtube, just because i think it looks nicer/more professional

this is 1,500 words so i’m going to stop myself before i pull something. if you have follow-up questions feel free to ask and i’ll continue to add them to the vid help tag, but any more questions about sourcing clips or my process in general i’ll just link this post going forward. anyone who made it this far, i am sending to a telepathic kiss. thank you for reading and happy editing!

[sexbirthdeaths]

if i had an orchard

ship: morgan x garcia

summary: penelope is constantly shifting, growing with each passing day as a sapling grows to a tree. with each day he learns more and more what metamorphosis looks like, up close and personal - there are some things a book cannot teach you. and he can’t look away.

warnings: mentions of minor character death (hank morgan, the boy morgan finds in the junkyard), episode 3x09 “penelope”, rotting fruit/maggot imagery, religious imagery, implied murder (boy in junkyard), toxic masculinity

words: 3000

Derek is eight when his dad takes him camping for the first time. It’s the summer of 81, Sarah is entering middle school and Desiree is about to start Kindergarten, so after all of the stress of school applications, Hank proposes they just go out, enjoy the sights of Illinois.

So they go to Buffalo Rock, and he loves it, loves the smell of nature and the feeling of the sun on his skin. He plays soccer with his dad by the campsite whilst Sarah burns through her summer reading list and Desiree cries because she doesn’t like the bugs and she’s too small to play with the boys, and it’s the best summer of his life.

One night, his father pulls a bag of apples from the rucksack, suggests they bake them in some tinfoil over the fire. So while Fran puts Desiree away to bed, Hank sits him down by the campfire and shows him how to pare an apple with a penknife. Slow, using his thumb to stabilise the blade, careful not to cut his finger.

He cuts it straight through the core, hands Derek one of the slices to parcel up carefully in tinfoil. And once those are on the flames, he gives him the knife, another apple from the bag.

“Be careful,” Hank guides him slowly, hand hovering over Dereks’ own, “You don’t want to cut yourself.”

Derek peels it clean and precise, he’s always been a bit of a perfectionist like that. But when he cuts down the core of the apple, and the two pieces fall away in his palm, something is wrong. Very wrong.

His hand retracts in an instant, sends the apple flying, maggots spilling onto the ground into a writhing mass. His stomach is churning, twisting itself in disgust at the sight, and his father stomps it with his boot.

“That one was rotten,” Hank says, pulls the knife from Derek’s hand, “No good. It’s no good.”

Even when the apples are done baking, he can’t stand the sight of them, can’t stomach it after seeing the rotten fruit.

“Tenderness is a sign of rot,” Hank informs him as he eats his slices, “They shouldn’t be soft. That’s how you know they’re bad.”

And he takes that sentiment with him. Even when his father dies, especially when his father dies. He doesn’t cry at the funeral, he starts lashing out at anyone and everyone because to be soft is a sign of rot, of corruption at the core, it makes you undesirable and unwanted and sickening. Keep the toughest rind and you will come out the other side strong.

So he picks fights, even with the kids he knows will beat him. He’s always been a tall kid but Rodney has always been taller, stronger, but to turn the other cheek is a soft man’s path, and Derek Morgan is not soft.

He picks fights and he loses them, comes home battered and bruised and his mother will fuss over him, press a bag of frozen peas to his eye and sing him to sleep. She doesn’t care if he’s too old for it, he’ll always be her son. And even when the pain runs more than skin-deep, crawls through his veins and writhes like a maggot, sickly and decay-drawn, she will cradle his body like he isn’t crumbling from the inside out.

When Derek is 11, it’s the first Thanksgiving since his dad died. There’s an uncomfortable silence in the house as Sarah and Fran work on dinner, and Desiree’s out in the backyard with the neighbour’s kids. His grandparents aren’t coming this year, something about the Chicago winters being cruel on their arthritis.

There’s a faint layer of snow already beginning to settle outside, and he can see the constellations of snowflakes in Desiree’s hair as she finally bids the neighbours farewell and comes tumbling inside, ready to bound up the stairs.

“You promised you’d help me with the apple pie,” Sarah chides as she scoops Desiree up in her arms. The girl laughs loud and gleeful, the first real laugh since the day began, wriggles as she tries to escape her older sister’s grip. Desiree is a big girl now, 6 years old and wide-eyed and too mischievous for her own damn good, and she’s too big now for Sarah to pick her up with ease but she tries anyway.

Derek steps out, takes Desiree from Sarah’s grasp and slings her over his shoulder, grinning at the shrieks he hears.

“Come on, Des,” He laughs, “You promised!”

So, whilst his mom cooks the turkey and the mash and the myriad of thanksgiving side dishes, the three Morgan children converge in the living room, and work on the apples. Sarah peels them and Derek slices them, and Desiree just watches with her big brown eyes and pretends she's helping, because Lord knows no one trusts her with a real knife.

When they’re done there’s a pile of peels in a bowl. Their mom takes it, a sparkle in her eye.

“You know,” she says, grinning and setting down her knife, “There’s an old wives’ tale that if you throw the peel behind your shoulder, it will spell your husband’s name.”

Desiree and Sarah dissolve into giggles. Desiree’s too young to know what true love like that really feels like, too young to be thinking about marriage and life as an adult. And Sarah’s approaching it closer and closer with each passing day, she’s had her heart broken by careless boys to want nothing but a guarantee that the next boy will be the one.

So they take the peels and throw them. Desiree’s looks sort of like an L from the right angle, and Sarah’s is an A, if you use a bit of imagination, and Derek doesn’t get anything because he refuses to try it.

“That’s for girls,” he scoffs, puffs his chest up like a proud robin all red and strong.

“You’re impossible,” Is the response he gets.

When he is 15 he finds a boy’s body in the junkyard. All battered and bruised and broken and he wishes he could press a bag of frozen peas to his head like his mother had done, tell this boy it would all be okay. But it won’t be okay, and the case is never solved because the police don’t seem to care for kids like Derek or the boy, seem for focused on pinning things on them than catching their killers.

When he sees the policeman shake the community centre owner’s hand, Derek knows his killer will not be caught.

He goes door to door and pools up enough money to buy a headstone, and he visits it whenever he can, touches the cool rock and feels himself break. And he doesn’t know this boy, know his face or his name, but they feel connected. Through space and time and tragedy, maybe in another life they were friends. Maybe in another life it was him, and he would be the one rotting in the ground.

Move forward a few years and he feels like something inside of him is broken. Like he’s been torn apart and stitched back together again but something went wrong in the process. He feels moldy, he thinks one day as he’s filling out college applications, disgusting. If he could he’d rip all his skin off and scrub himself spotless. But this runs deeper than skin.

He gets the football scholarship, and his mother cries when he reads the letter because her baby is going to Northwestern and he’s gonna be something great, bigger than himself, he’s gonna change the world. And the success feels like the pinprick in the lid for him, like he can finally breathe as there’s a chance for him to go. Leave those rotten parts of him behind.

After college and the Chicago department, he finds himself starting in the BAU. The team is pretty small - Hotch is a hard-ass and Gideon is, well, Gideon, and the liaison stays in her office too much for Derek to really know who she is, but the BAU feels right for him. Gideon’s got some kid on his radar and so does Hotch, but they’re both so frustratingly secretive that he has no clue who they could be.

He fits right in like a puzzle piece that’s been missing for so long, takes on a role as the ladies’ man and the handsome coworker who flirts with you over coffee, but also the guy who’ll sit with child victims for hours to make sure they’re alright. Hotch hasn’t booted him yet so he figures he’s doing something right.

And then he meets her.

Penelope Garcia, she introduces herself as, and she’s so unlike any girl he’s ever met before with her long, dark hair and she acts like she’s the smartest person in the room (and after a few hours interrogating her, he figures that sentiment isn’t too far off). She’s got these big curious eyes and glittery pink acrylics and he can see the person that sits behind the dark facade.

They don’t hit it off, at first, because he’s proud and she’s defensive and he has a job to complete, but then Hotch informs him of the deal that’s been made, so he better start trying to get along with her. She gets along great with JJ, they eat lunches together in Garcia’s ‘batcave’ and JJ’s finally starting to open up a bit more, actually talks to Derek at the coffee machine in the mornings and asks how he’s been. Before, she’d talk to him, or Hotch, or Gideon even, with strained words and avoiding eye contact.

The first time he calls her babygirl is the first time he sees her properly flustered, cheeks red and stammering as she types away at her keyboard and Hotch gives him the mother of all death glares because they’re trying to run an FBI investigation here, Derek. But it makes him smile, seeing her all blushed pink, and he decides he likes it.

She pretends she doesn’t struggle sometimes, and he sees it. The mass of figurines and posters in her office are just a distraction technique - he’s well versed in those - and he knows just how taxing it must be for her, seeing all those awful things. She loves and she loves like it’s the only thing she knows how to do, full-bodied and all in, and some days he wonders if she’s really capable of hatred at all.

“How can you do it? How do you deal with it all?” She asks one day over coffee, voice small and sad. She’s seen some awful things over the past few days, and he wraps her up tightly in her arms. The worst thing is - he doesn’t know what to say. For as long as he can remember, he’s just been pushing it away and ignoring it. Letting it sit inside him and simmer, rip him from the inside out and just pray he’ll be able to pick up the pieces once he finally falls apart.

Things shift, change, over the years as people come and go. There’s a new kid, one Gideon’s been raving about for months who’s finally gotten all the necessary qualifications, even if some exams had to be waived. And he gets hurt, gets hurt bad, and Derek wonder’s if that’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back because it isn’t long before Gideon leaves. There’s a new man in his place and they’re still trying to trust him, but he just isn’t Gideon, he isn’t the mentor and the peacekeeper and the caretaker that they’ve all grown to need.

Penelope is constantly shifting, growing with each passing day as a sapling grows to a tree. With each day he learns more and more what metamorphosis looks like, up close and personal - there are some things a book cannot teach you. And he can’t look away.

She has a date. She has a date and he doesn’t know why there’s this ache in his chest, like something’s been scraped out from him and left him hollow. But it’s her choice, he figures, he doesn’t own her. And then he gets the phone call.

Shot, he hears Hotch say over the phone, voice crackled and rough, and it’s like everything in him shuts down. Like someone’s ripping him apart limb by limb. That motherfucker. He will not know kindness from me. Do you need me? He asks, but Hotch just sighs.

She needs you.

And he’s driving to the hospital but he’s so pissed he can barely even focus, consumed by the rage bubbling within him, he wants to find that son of a bitch and make him feel a thousand times what Penelope felt. His skin is itching like thousands of maggots are crawling across him, it’s so overwhelming.

He feels rotten, like he’s so full of pain he can barely breathe, and his cheeks are wet and he doesn’t know why they are until he reaches up to touch them, realises he’s crying.

Men like Morgan do not cry. It’s a sign of weakness, he thinks, and you cannot afford to be weak. Not here, not now, you have never been safe enough to be weak. You bottle it up and ignore it, because to be soft is to be rotten.

He flashes his badge to the hospital receptionist and she informs him with pitying eyes that Penelope is in emergency surgery, that he can wait until she’s out and hear the verdict. So he collapses into the waiting room chairs, unable to look at the others, waits for Penelope to be okay.

Waiting lasts a century. All he wants is to take her in his arms and let her know she’s going to be okay, but he can’t. He can’t even guarantee that it will all be fine, because from what he’s heard it’s a bad wound from a good shot and it’s not looking good.

See, Penelope is an apple tree. She gives and she gives and she asks for nothing in return but a spot in the sun and a love her body has been starved of for years. And all Derek wants is to drown in blossom petals and cider, to drown himself in her warmth. All she asks for is to be loved, and that bastard didn’t even try. Derek will try, he will try and he will pray to a God he does not even believe in (Goddamnit he’s trying, he’s trying) if it means he can love her, if it means that she will be there to receive his love.

When the surgeon comes back, gives them the news, everything in him relaxes. Like the tightly-wound coil of a music box as the lever is finally released. She’s okay, she will be okay, no one must die today.

Her makeup is gone, hair a knotted mass, she’s traded out the bright clothes and heavy jewellry for a hospital gown. And she’s as breathtaking as ever, and Morgan can’t look away. He wants to reach out and hold her hand, press his forehead against hers, let her know that he’s here and everything is going to be okay, tell her how glad he is that she’s alive.

“You really love her, huh?” JJ asks with a smile, looks up at Morgan with a piercing, knowing gaze once they file out of the room, split up the group. She’s cradling a to-go coffee cup in her hands and disshevelled - she’d been the first one at the hospital, been in charge of letting everyone else know.

It’s JJ that knows Penelope the best, if not Derek. She knows the ins-and-outs of their relationship, she can see what they’re too scared to say to eachother. Love, he thinks, this is what this is.

“I do.” He nods.

“So tell her- show her, god knows she needs you right now.”

He waits until the others have left Penelope’s hospital room. The thing is - he flirts with her all the time, has himself branded as a ladies man, but it’s been so long since he’s had something real. He’s always been too afraid to show that tender side that a relationship requires.

But he’s tired of holding back. Penelope softens him, turns all his harsh edges hazy, makes his heart wrench in his chest. He has forgotten what it means to be rotten.

So he sits himself at the edge of her bed, doesn’t care if any of the others can see him through the window, all that matters is here and now.

“I almost lost you,” he says, voice soft, “I was so scared- I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if you’d gone besides tear the bastard apart.”

He scoots closer, chair handle digging into him as he leans into her. His hand cups her face, feels her warm skin against his cool palm, heartbeat thrumming under his fingertips. She’s alive, good god, and she’s here with him, and maybe everything will be okay.

His forehead presses against Penelope’s own and she seems to welcome the movement, twists a handful of his shirt in her grip like she can’t bear the thought of ever letting him go. Derek has never wanted to be loved more than right now, loved by her.

He’d bite the apple for her, Derek thinks, swallow it down seeds and all. Because he loved her, he didn’t care if the fruit was rotten or wretched, damnation was a gift if he was condemned alongside her. He’d run to the edges of the world where all that could reach them was the moon and the stars, and he’d tell Penelope how he hung them just for her.

Kissing her feels like breaking the water’s surface. Being reborn, baptised under her hands, and for what feels like the first time, he can breathe.

[technology236-blog]

Excitement About Technology

Little Known Questions About Technology.

It is still worth the experiment in your home considering that it cocoons you in complete privacy, although you could look a little amusing. The deformable soft furnishings morphs right into a number of different setups based upon your demands for a "me space" when points get as well disruptive. Whether you read a publication, working on your laptop computer, or simply wish to take a fast snooze the Shark, Male is an odd-looking option that makes it.

SOVA is a clinical gadget that tracks and registers early indicators of physical or mental discomfort to ensure that medical employees within the ICU can offer the person with correct therapy. While physical pain, sleep problems, and also stress and anxiety are only a few of the stressors in the ICU, SOVA operates as a system to track these stressors for real-time support as well as treatment.

Due to its distinct form for a mouse, it makes the experience smoother while reducing the anxiety on your wrists as it will not be awkwardly curved at an angle for hrs! The ring has sensing units that provide the functionality of a computer mouse such as 'click', 'move', 'scroll' via various motions that are similar to just how we utilize the trackpads on a laptop computer.

Just think of it, 60 years earlier, Yuri Alekseyevich Gagarin came to be the very first human to trip into celestial spaces, and also now Elon Musk, the Chief Executive Officer of Area, X, is certain that people will certainly arrive at Mars by 2026. The rapid improvements allow us to experience the globe in novel methods.

The 20-Second Trick For Technology

It can come at hand for pupils that struggle with intricate topics such as algebra. Technology has the potential to reshape just how the globe finds out and make education and learning more equivalent as well as accessible.Squirrel AI Learning focuses on high school trainees to provide adaptive knowing and also tutoring services.- Headquarters: Shanghai, China. According to a recent study,

29%of soon-to-be grads in the United States aspire to end up being designers. Creator platforms play a considerable role in it, as they supply the framework to develop, disperse and also generate income from material. Those systems offer the tools for recording, editing and also posting content to power the maker's profits as well as offer monetary freedom. It sets out to earnings musicians without taking their music rights.

-Headquarters: Santa Monica, CA.-Stem has increased an overall of$357. 6M in financing over 15 rounds. 4. Different investment systems now make it possible to purchase things that formerly would be thought about peculiar. The increasing model of property possession is ending up being much more prominent. Basically, it is making it possible for investments in non-traditional possessions in a capitalistic economic climate.

The Buzz on Technology

It is profiting the economic situation as it is bringing brand-new markets and brand-new income streams for individuals. The most effective component of it is that no matter your purse dimension, you can make financial investments crazes like a glass of wine, jewelry, classic cars and so forth. The topic of data personal privacy has actually been walking around for years. One of the most recent options for getting rid of data

shortage as well as privacy difficulties is artificially created information. The data is created programmatically by utilizing different algorithms that exhibit the statistical homes of the initial data without revealing any info about real individuals. For twenty years, the International Space Terminal(ISS )has actually performed even more than 3,000 experiments that greatly affected science. Currently NASA is commercialising the ISS and also bringing bigger possibilities for space-based R&D. Just in 2015, Space, X made history as the initial personal firm to efficiently send NASA astronauts into orbit. The industrial area age is already right here, as well as Morgan Stanley approximated that the industry might surge over $1 trillion by 2040($350 million in 2020), with 50 %of the projected growth coming from satellite broadband Internet. 2021 will be a year of improvement. Firms are now smarter regarding what works as well as what does not, as well as will yet once more be explore just how they can utilize newly embraced technology to improve procedures as well as innovate in methods not believed of previously.

's Surge Program is concentrated on offering fast-growing Dutch scaleups with the devices they need to take on the global market. Online grocery store app, Crisp, began out on a goal to bring fresh products straight from producers to their individuals 'doors. Not only would components be fresh, their wager was that the comfort and also time-saving advantages that online purchasing could bring would certainly draw in family members that wanted to spend much less time at the supermarket as well as moretime with their enjoyed ones. By immediately categorizing inquiries or suggesting useful answers that the worker uses to send out a richer answer."For business that want to trying out new approaches this year, Roodenburg suggests: Focus on developing consumer worth in contrast to decreasing costs. Improving your worth proposition is, in my point of view, often more crucial. The meetings industry is a$450 billion sector, yet only 10 %of those conferences are reserved online. Even though we're made use of to booking hotel rooms or car rentals in a couple of clicks, conference reservations still have not been accepted by 90%of the market. A number of years ago individuals claimed,'why should I book a meeting online?' Now nobody wishes to call and also send out emails any longer, they just intend to look online and also book it. Think of any type of process at your very own work that's not documented anywhere, it's just'just how it's done.'As these employees retire or switch work, best techniques as well as essential operational understanding is lost for life. Provided the range and limited resistances of global production, the resulting mistakes and also wasted time can be devastating. Yes, the present situation has actually accelerated the procedure. They're laying the foundation for

future success by investing in digital electronic that will will certainly productivity at scale range years to come. We're truly delighted to see the development of something called the Workforce Digital Double. This is the collection of expert knowledge, recorded using applications, that's saved in the cloud to be distributed amongst frontline workers.

[nystudies]

hi guys! today i’ll be sharing some tips and things about how to be successful in the IB program. this is kinda long but it’s the HONEST truth that not a lot of people would tell you. i got my results back and i did end up getting my diploma! :) IB classes i took: HL english, HL psychology, HL history, SL mandarin, SL ESS, SL math studies, and of course TOK :) hope this helps ya’ll!

1. procrastination

something i struggled with a lot was procrastination. i especially procrastinated the EE and all of my IAs, and i can tell you guys it was NOT the move. i became super stressed because i was saving big assignments for the last minute, and it was horrible for my mental health. doing assignments last minute might work sometimes, but in the IB program it will really effect your grades. what i would recommend is if you get homework just do it the day you get it, and when having longer assignments, work on it bit by bit everyday. i know getting started can be really hard, so what helped me was thinking about my future goals (it really motivates me to work harder). 

2. cas

yes, i am making a section just for cas. did you know you could get perfect scores on your exams but if your cas isn’t complete you don’t get your diploma? i’ve heard stories... DON’T PROCRASTINATE YOUR CAS! spread out your activities and hours throughout BOTH years. what i would recommend for being successful in cas would be to do activities that you actually like. i know a lot of people who would do ANYTHING for cas hours, and while they got their hours, their journals were in-genuine and they struggled at the end when they had to have the final discussion with the ib coordinator. do something you’re proud of! also, anything can count for hours. i put social media as hours! in addition, you can use the things you do for cas for your college applications!!

3. make friends  

now you’re probably wondering, jordan, what do you mean make friends? i have friends... well, what i mean is make friends in your classes. this is something i LEARNED. in year 1, i was kind of a lone wolf, and i realized that whenever i had questions or needed help, i didn’t have anyone to ask. in year two, i made sure to have at least 1 friend in every class and it helped me SO MUCH. they don’t even have to be your friends, just find people you would feel comfortable talking to and asking questions, it will really come in handy, especially in the ibdp. 

4. learn confidence 

again, you’re probably very confused. let me paint you a picture: you will have to do A LOT of public speaking in this program. a lot. whether it’s speeches, presentations, tok presentations, daily speaking in language class... you will have a lot of public speaking. i guess this is kind of a heads up. i know it sucks, but you WILL have a ton of graded public speaking assignments, and i can tell you from personal experience, if you aren’t confident or able to speak in front of others, it will effect your grade. i know this because i was that girl. like literally in mandarin class if i had to do daily speaking in front of all of my classmates i would CRY. literally cry. so i know where you’re coming from. but, what i learned throughout the years is that NOBODY CARES. and i mean that in the best way possible. you just have to remember that you won’t see these people after high school, they really aren’t paying that much attention, and if you mess up, they truly will not care. everyone is stressing over their own assignments. what i learned to do is fake it till you make it. i would appear SUPER confident with whatever i said, and everyone believed i was confident and speaking well, even though i would mess up sometimes. just close your eyes, take a breath, and fake it till you make it :) 

5. final tips / words

make sure your IAs are good, they matter. 

your citations in your EE is literally more important than the actual writing. if you have ONE wrong citation you could literally fail your EE. 

live your life! you will definitely be consumed in your studies, but trust me you also need some fun :)

you’ll become close with your ib cohort because ya’ll are ALL struggling together. you will most likely make new friends :) 

take classes you know you’ll somewhat enjoy. if you’re not a math person don’t take HL math, if you’re not a science person don’t take HL bio... TRUST ME. 

do your EE on something that ACTUALLY interests you because it’ll be easier to work on and it won’t really feel like a weight on your shoulders.

don’t overthink things. i know a ton of people stress a lot about the tok presentation, but trust me you will be okay. i made my presentation the day before i had to present and got a 9. just PRACTICE presenting. it will help so much 

do your tok presentation on something that interests you and something you actually could talk about, it will make your life a lot easier

helpful website: https://www.ibsurvival.com/

i have a tumblr group for ib students where we help each other, ask to join! 

okay, that’s it :) hopefully this helped some people, it was really raw and honest. while the ib program caused major stress and health issues, it was also an experience. it changed me, made me more open minded and really impacted my life. i was able to do things i wouldn’t think i would do because of cas, and i learned more about myself. and honestly, i loved my cohort and felt like i had a small family of people i could relate to. if you’re nervous, don’t worry. it isn’t that bad, and trust me there are positives. GOOD LUCK EVERYONE! if you want further advice on anything IB related you can comment, send something to my ask box, or just private message me! have an amazing day :))) 

- jordan <3

[broxemason]

Things You Need to Know Before Hiring A Process Server

Do you find yourself irritated when you have to deal with legal documents? Is serving them a chore to you? Don’t worry you have got a lot of company. To make things more tolerable for you, there are process serving agencies that can take care of stuff for you.

If this is your first time dealing with a court case and you don’t know where or how to send all those legal documents, get yourself hooked with a reliable process serving agency and you are all good to go.

There is no denying the fact that finding a process serving agency is an easy task, especially when you or anyone near you has never done it. This is a brief guide about all the important things you need to know about process serving and its complexities in California.

Don’t worry I am not going to bombard you with tough and boring technical stuff. I have tried to make things simple and easy to understand. I know it matters a lot for those who are already struggling with accepting the fact that they are dealing with a court case. I get it, it’s overwhelming.

Let us start with the basics.

What Is Process Serving?

Process service is a legal procedure in the United States which declares that all parties involved in a court case must get notified when facing legal action. So when you sue a person, corporation, partner, or even the government, you must give formal notices. In “service” a third person, not you, is required to deliver those papers to other the parties involved. Some agencies handle serving for you and that is what professional process serving is about.

Who Is the Legal Process Server In California?

Technically speaking, any person above the age of 18, not involved in the case can serve the documents for you. But when you are searching for professionals you must know who is the legal process service in California. The laws and regulations vary from state to state. Laws regarding process serving are subject to change but for now, process server registered and bonded in California, not licensed.

How Much Do These Services Cost?

It is smart to know what you expect to spend before getting hiring a professional process serving agency in West Sacramento, CA. Make sure that you know the whereabouts of the agency and they are allowed to handle all the work for you.

Once you are sure of that, discuss their service costs. Shop around and request estimates from different agencies to find an affordable service. The cost of the routine services can be as low as $20 but it can go up to $100. On average, people pay between $45 to $75. The costs depend on your case and the state laws.

Verify The Credentials Of The Server

Verifying the credential of the server is an important step you must not ignore. In California, if an individual serves more than 10 papers a year, they must get themselves registered in the county in which they reside or have their principal place of business. All the applicants must be residents of the State of California for one year immediately preceding filing.

Check The Past Customer Satisfaction

You should check if the previous customers were satisfied with the services. When you need a professional for quality service, ask around and see if they have been successful in their previous ventures. Take your time to search for information about them. If possible, talk to the people who have been in business with the agency.

Hiring A Process Server Is Essential For Your Safety

If you have been questioning yourself whether it is important to hire a professional server or not, it is. Depending on the type of legal documents you are going to serve or the other parties involved, serving can be pretty dangerous. A professional is capable of handling all kinds of situations for you.

The Regular Assistance Can Take Things Off Your Plate

Regular professional assistance can take a lot of stress off your plate. Let them handle it for you while you deal with other important aspects of your case.

Can I Serve Papers For My Case?

The simple and straight answer is “No”. You cannot serve papers for a case you are involved in.

Hiring A Professional Is Not The Only Way To Serve Your Legal Documents!

Hiring a process server is not the only way. You can also get it done by someone who must

Be 18 years old or older;

Not be a party to the case;

Serve the paperwork on the other side in the time required;

Fill out a proof of service form that tells the court whom they served, when, where, and how; and

Return the proof of service to you so you can file it with the court.

[sharkfish]

ps i loved this one

(rereading bookmarks edition part 2)

(part 1)

i’ve been rereading stories from my bookmarks as a comfort thing. i’m getting real deep in there to stuff i haven’t (re)read for years, and damn do i have good taste. the ones i’ve read recently that you should, too:

(under the cut so i’m not that asshole that makes you scroll past an endless post)

Best Laid Plans by Persephoneshadow

Things are going well for Dean: he's landed the biggest design job of his architectural career and is about to get final approval on the project despite how difficult the development company, personified by Castiel Novak, has made it. It's not bad for a moody omega...except things are also going terribly for Dean because he has to get in a plane and fly to a meeting, and course ends up in heat a few hours before. Luckily, Castiel is there to help and both men discover the good that can come when nothing goes quite as intended.

i don’t know why i’m such a ho for stories where dean thinks cas hates him, but cas secretly adores him and is just a little “rusty” on his “people skills.” i’m also a ho for stories where dean is a gd skilled genius but his dumb ass still thinks his work sucks and/or anything good is due to other people instead of himself. and also, heat boning. 

Confessions of a Cam Boy by MsCaptainWinchester (rons_pigwidgeon)

Dean runs a cam show to pay his way through marketing school, but he's about to start an internship that he doesn't know will change his life. Watching Dean's show is Castiel's favorite way to wind down after a stressful day at Sandover Bridge & Iron. When Cas comes to work one day and finds his favorite cam boy setting coffee on his desk, he is completely thrown. Will Dean finish his internship without knowing his favorite viewer is his new boss, or will he be able to see through Cas' non-existent poker face and figure it out?

omg poor cas is soooo awkward and dean is weirded out about how much his new boss seems to dislike him and then it’s super sexy >:) 

For Science by shiphitsthefan

“Think of it like an experiment," says Dean. "You’re testing a hypothesis as to whether or not a desirable response can be achieved through the stimulation of the anus via the application of a willing volunteer’s muscular hydrostat.”

Cas raises an eyebrow. “Are you actually trying to use the scientific method to talk me into letting you lick my asshole?”

everyone is such adorable nerds in this one. it’s a fic about rimming, but it’s also about love and discovering yourself and acceptance. it explores cas’s realization through his connection with dean that he’s not straight up ace but more grey/demi - and that doesn’t mean he was “faking” being ace up until he met dean. 

Friends with Benefits with Tentacles by andimeantittosting (Saylee)

Dean's never been embarrassed about his porn collection before, but that was before he found Cas holding his prized copy of Sweet Princess Asuka and the Tentacles of Pleasure. Dean finds himself sweating bullets—because this is Cas, sweet, nerdy Cas. Cas, his friend. Cas, his roommate. Cas, his—only slightly out-of-control—crush.

Cas, with his big, blue eyes and muscular arms and perpetual sex hair.

Cas, with his tentacles.

The last thing he expects is for Cas to suggest they experiment together.

there are not enough tentacle fics out there and i 100000% approve of this addition to the tag. i love that dean is out there legitimately studying porn, and the tentacles are obviously super fun, and there were parts where my heart hurt so bad, all around a damn fine fic. 

Grown-Ups Making Grown-Up Choices by Carrieosity

Dean is a grown-ass man - he can take perfectly good care of himself, thank you very much. Except that sometimes the easier or more fun choices aren't always the right or best ones, and, all right, maybe thinking ahead and working the long game isn't his strongest suit. It's fine! He's fine.

When he meets Castiel, he realizes that flying by the seat of his pants may not be the best way to attract the super-serious (gorgeous, funny, genius) Alpha. Dean's shrink has been telling him he needs to start making "grown-up choices," and if that's what he has to think about in order to make Cas fall for him, then he'll give it a whirl.

i LOVE this fic (series). i feel so hard for dean feeling like he’s too old for his life to still be a mess, but i also felt sad for him that he thought he had to make all these hardcore changes - basically turn himself into a different person - to be worthy of cas’s attentions. i fucking adore cas in this, and i nearly cried just thinking about all the damn peppers they eat, and i want to read it again right now. 

If I Run by Anonymous

"Dean Winchester is a red-blooded American male. He lifts all the things. He aims for functional strength. He counts his macros and makes fun of curlbros. He is not a member of the Tarahumara tribe and he will not read Born to Run, no matter how many times Sam tells him to, because Starting Strength is the only book Dean will ever fucking need."

***

Wherein a friendly competition with the mysterious ThursdaysAngel turns into a sexy selfie-trading spree that motivates Dean Winchester to train for his first marathon.

i really really love this fic and reread it pretty often tbh. it only became “anonymous” pretty recently and i’m so curious about why!! regardless, this fic is a really great time!!! 

It's Always More Than Once (Before It Takes) by squeemonster

The first time it happens, it's because of boredom. Or, at least that's what Dean tells himself to justify it. Boredom and Dean Winchester are a dangerous combination, especially when you factor in beer, a raging libido, and laziness.

dean: my dudes, is it gay to do sexy stuff with your male bff? cuz i’m totally straight. but also, having sex with my male bff. 

I Wanna Get Outside (Of Me) by emwebb17

Dean is a novice in the dom/sub world asked by his employer as a desperate last resort to be a sub for his recluse of a brother, Castiel. Castiel is a diagnosed OCD suffering from PTSD and agoraphobia, mysophobia, and dystychiphobia. Needless to say—he’s a mess who hasn’t stepped out of his home in literally seven years. The only times Gabriel can see traces of the way his brother used to be is when he feels in control—specifically when he has control over a sub. However, due to his idiosyncrasies and paranoia, keeping a sub around has been impossible. Enter Dean, who’s not a very traditional submissive, to try his hand at subbing for the hermit.

you know how sometimes you read a fic, and it takes ages to get yourself out of that world? even though you’re finished, you’re still right there with him? this is one of those fics. i reread it a couple weeks ago and fell asleep thinking about it last night. i cry a lot reading this one. 

Living in Agony by ChasingRabbits

Dean Winchester's life is... well, it's not great. He's a gym teacher, he's in his thirties, and he can't seem to keep any part of his life straight. When the aftermath of a one-night stand goes awry, Dean is dragged kicking and screaming out of his cozy little closet and into the harsh light of reality.

Enter: Castiel Novak, the new history teacher, who knows full well that life gets crappy when you don't allow yourself to live it in the way it needs to be lived.

there aren’t a lot of stories that deal with themes of mental illness, and a lot of them read like an episode of degrassi where everything wraps up in 30min to never be discussed again. this story is honest in that there’s no easy out. there’s medication and therapy and supportive people, but that’s not always enough. it’s a story about how you don’t have to be mentally ill to be fucked up, and while people can’t fix each other, they can help each other. content note: references to a pre-story suicide attempt. 

Oddly Shaped Empty by jemariel

Dean grew up thinking -- knowing -- he'd be an alpha.

Until he failed to present. As a beta, he has no mating cycle, no noticeable pheromones, none of the physical markers that are so important in a world of alphas and omegas. He's out of place. How is he supposed to navigate his relationships and find love when he doesn't fit into the neatly-defined boxes he's used to?

By the time he meets his new roommate, Castiel, he's more or less given up on finding a mate. He wears his secondary gender like a chip on his shoulder. But you never know what the future holds, who will come into your life, and how they might change it forever.....

Queer themes, finding identity, reconciling the past, and a whole lot of smut.

y’all know @jemariel is a gd genius, but i’m particularly obsessed with their fics that use abo to explore queer identify & experiences. i hold my breath reading most of this fic and also cry. 

Steal my Breath by Sincestiel

“Tighter, Dean, please,” Cas urges throwing his head back to rest on Dean’s shoulder. Dean squeezes. He doesn’t know why Cas wants this or even what the appeal is, but he always comes harder when he’s struggling to breathe.

what’s on the tin. a quick lil breathplay fic that is thoroughly enjoyable. 

Unsolicited by Dangerousnotbroken

In which Dean Winchester gets an unsolicited dick pic from an unknown sender which is both totally not disappointing in that it's a really nice dick pic, and incredibly disappointing in that it's clearly a downloaded picture of his favorite porn star.

There's absolutely no way it's actually this porn star sending it to him, right?

Right?

this is a destiel classic and i feel like anyone who isn’t new here has probably read it. but here’s your reminder that this is a great fic and you should (re)read it. 

Wordplay by Dangerousnotbroken @dangerousnotbroken​

“I don’t understand why talking dirty is such a big deal for you humans,” Cas complains, apropos of nothing.

it’s a “cas learning about sex” and also dirty talk, which are both things i’m really into!! and DNB is a genius so that’s even better. 

if you enjoy these fics (and you should), please give the writer some love via kudos and/or comments. <3

ps - as always, if i didn’t tag the writer and you know their tumblr, please tag in the comments. i don’t think there’s a writer alive who wouldn’t be happy to be on a rec list. :)

[doyouneedtorant]

june 22, 2020 15:07

Before I get into my first rant, let me introduce myself. My name is Eden Rotonda. I am 20 years old and I live in Los Angeles, CA. I go to the University of Michigan and I study community/global public health and environmental studies. (I’m not SUPER happy with this decision but that’s a story for another day.) I always wanted to be a writer when I was growing up. When I was eight years old, I would write short stories about my stuffed animals, songs about the boys I thought were cute or the food in my fridge, I would write poems about my friends and my feelings. As I got older, my writing matured; I began writing better poems, better songs, full length plays, writing personal essays -- this was what I was set out to do. But life came along and did what life does. It stopped me in my tracks and how I got to public health is still unclear, but it is what it is. So, I figured that if I wasn’t going to dedicate my life to it, I might as well make it a hobby and share my life to anyone on here who wants to listen. 

So, why am I upset today? Well, like most kids who were on a college campus early this year, I was sent home. Now, I didn’t come home home until last week; when campuses first shut down, it was easier to go to my dad’s in Georgia than to fly all the way across the country. So, since I’ve been home home, I’ve had the great pleasure of experiencing life as it was back in high school: I am treated like a child who never went away to college, yet also being treated like an adult who has had experiences. 

I don’t know if that makes sense. 

In layman’s terms, my mom yells at me for being on my phone too much, but also wants to know about all the personal details of my college life -- sex, alcohol, drugs, the works. She has to know where and when I go out with friends, but it’s also my job to get us groceries. So it’s like I aged five years but never actually stepped foot out of our apartment. 

But that’s not really the problem today. Today was “Let’s shut down all the ideas Eden finds really cool and exciting” day. And look, I’m not trying to rag on my mom. This isn’t as much about her as I am going to make it appear. She means well, but has a really funny way of showing it (as many mothers do). 

As of recently, I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do after I graduate, and one idea that has been coming to mind is graduate school. Yes. Another two years of that good ol’fashioned (and super expensive) American education that has been sucker-punching me for the last fourteen years. However, when you find a program that you really like, suddenly, it doesn’t feel like “two more years of sChOol”. It’s two more years of studying what you like and really diving into your craft. And so, you know, it’s something I’ve become quite excited about and I wanted to share that excitement with my mom. 

So, when I told my mom about all this stuff, I was greeted with absolute disapproval. She thought my plan was absolutely fatuous. In her eyes, I wanted to go to graduate school because I did not want to come home and face reality. Instead of getting a job, I would be facing years of debt to learn information that is meaningless and irrelevant to my future. And who knows? Maybe she’s right. Maybe I’m being fanatical about something that might make me unhappy in the future. After all the exams, personal statements, and application stresses, what happens if it all puts me in a place where I was miserable? But I guess that’s what makes me frustrated about all this. At the end of the day, the only person who needs to live with my choices is me. I don’t think all my decisions were perfect. I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff in my life that I could have probably avoided by making a better choice. But in those moments, it was the best I could do and the best decision I could make. And in this case, I’m really excited about something and I haven’t been this excited about school in a while. It makes me want to try. It makes me want to do the best I can so if I don’t get into the program, I can tell myself I did everything I could. 

I digress. If I go to graduate school and it sucks, the only person who has to deal with the consequences is me. I am the one who is applying for the program. I am the one who would be paying for the program. I am the one dedicating hours a day to studying and researching all this information. So, for the meanwhile, I ask my friends and family: please bear with me when I change my mind or I find myself interested in something else. When I light up when I’m talking about something, please do not shut it down and tell me it’s ridiculous or question my motives. I understand concern but I am a big girl now and I can make my own shitty decisions if I want to. And I give this to anyone who read this as advice. Don’t listen to other people. No one knows you like you and if you are excited about something or have a gut feeling that pushes you in a direction, you don’t have to explain yourself to ANYBODY. 

Thank you for coming to my first TedTalk. 

[firsttimehomebuyer2-blog]

First Time Home Buyer In California

First Time Homebuyer

Concerned about finances as a first time home buyer in CA? Look no more, here's what you need to know.

- Purchasing your first house is a special time, if you've resolved to settle down, purchase a puppy, and do the crossword every evening or are only looking for some new energy it's all in an exciting experience. - In California alone last year over 437,600 homes were marketed, are you ready to add an extra digit to that scarily large statistic? If so, we focus in California first time home buyer programs including down payment assistance and so much more. - Thus, strap in tight and hold on for the ride -- here's everything you need to know about becoming a CA first time home buyer.

First Time buyer

Renting vs. buying

- While buying a house will require a down payment, renting usually takes a deposit together with other maintenance and accessibility charges. As a first home buyer in CA, purchasing or perhaps deciding to rent your very first house can be a stressful experience. - It is hard choosing where to live, especially when investing huge sums of money in the shape of a deposit alongside a loan or mortgage to pay off the house for the subsequent years. That's why we're here. - Our staff at the home loan office specializes in down payment assistance whilst also supplying you with preferred realtor for first-time buyers and even tenants in the California region. First, however, let us clear up exactly what we mean by a deposit.

What is a deposit?

Before we get into the primary chunk of what we do and how we do it, let's first clear up what we mean with a down payment.

Definition of a Down Payment - A deposit is a payment that's made upfront for an expensive product or service such as a car or home. The down payment made represents a proportion of the full purchase price -- putting into place the residual finances.

( This can be done with a licensed Realtor In California )

However, while this is rare it is definitely something to be wary of: in some instances when deals fall through due to the buyer this down payment could be dropped -- even more reason to go with a team of professionals to get the work done to get that job done right.

That's where we are in at Team Whigham. First Time Home Buyer In California - Down Payment Assistance In California

Team Whigham

- As a first-time purchaser in CA or perhaps seasonal purchaser, our job is to support you through the entire process of purchasing a new home. This includes down payment assistance, using our survey (we'll get to this in a second), and also the utmost assistance from our team of realtors. - What if we told you we had a one-stop solution for CA first time house buyers? Our California first home buyer programs are designed to take you through the entire process -- by figuring out your down payment, getting a loan to cover your down payment, and calculating your entire mortgage. Exciting, right? Right. - First, let us take a look at that survey.

Down Payment Assistance In California Survey

- Available on the Down Payment Assist In CA site, our survey will take you through a range of unique questions including your maximum down payment, house purchase price, your projected credit rating, along with your residence location (along with a few others!) . - This poll is intended to give you and us an notion of your current financial situation in regards to being a first time home buyer in CA. Completing the survey will permit you to figure out your budget when it comes to buying your very first house, while also allowing you to evaluate your present financial situation. - To access our Down Payment Assistance in CA survey, please click here. - Once you've filled out the survey you will receive the lowest down payment potential -- assisting your brain rest at ease. - From here, we're ready to put you up with a California first time home buyer program -- if that's something you're considering? This program allows you to choose a loan program, repayment terms, interest rate, and monthly mortgage payment to best suit you and your household. - If you do not yet have a realtor we can also provide this too. Our team of professional realtors are easily available to take you through the entire process, all of the way up into the exciting day of stepping foot in your new residence. - Once you have selected the home buyer program that's best for you, you simply submit an application and this will be assessed for approval. Simple as that.

Down Payment Assist In California -Home Purchase Calculator

- However, as well as our fantastic survey instrument we also carry a purchase and refinance calculator available on our site. - You can access this by clicking here. - This calculator lets you input your house price, length, interest rate (that we supply ), and eventually your deposit which you have just figured out through utilizing our poll tool. - Applying this calculator will provide you with a demanding mortgage estimate, letting you check whether this is the ideal option for you and more importantly if you're ready to be a first-time buyer in CA.

Down Payment Assistance In California

- CA first time home buyer? No problem! We offer California first time home buyer programs to fit your requirements, from our online survey and calculator to California down payment assistance we'll direct you through the entire process of purchasing your very personal and original house. - If you want to contact Jason and the team you are able to complete our Down Payment Assistance application here and after you apply Jason Whigham will return to you. Alternatively, you can email at jwhigham@loandepot.com, ring right now direct at -LRB-800-RRB- 807-5022 or find other contact methods on our website. - So, whether you are needing California down payment assistance or are only looking for advice on purchasing your first house we are here to support you every step of the way. - MY-Down Payment Assistance looks forward to hopefully seeing you soon!

- My-Down Payment Assistance specialists would advise and guide you through the best home buyer's loan to get. - Down Payment Assist in California - First Time Home Buyer Programs California 2020 is bridging the gap to homeownership in California. - How Do I Get in Touch with My-Down Payment Support - If you want to reach out to My-Down Payment Support to go over available choices for you. Use the contact below.

Phone: -LRB-800-RRB- 807-5022

Find Down Payment Assistance in California Programs

- Open Doors GSFA - CalHFA CalPLUS Conventional First Mortgage Loan Program with ZIP (HFA Preferred) - CalHFA MyHome Assistance Program -- Traditional - CalHFA MyHome Assistance Program -- FHA

- NeighborhoodLIFT Program -- Sacramento -- FHA

Northern California Down Payment Assist In California - CA Areas Serviced

My-Down Payment Assistance service all of Northern California and Southern California! West Roseville

First Time Homebuyer Sacramento California - Are You Looking for Sacramento Down Payment Assistance For First Time Buyer Programs In Sacramento CA? Call Jason Whigham 800-807-5022 And Save on your next CA house purchase.

[connectpalm-blog]

The 30-Second Trick for Coachella Transportation

Shuttle To LaxYour shuttle line is going to be labeled clearly. Ultimately, it could be more effective to just go together with shuttle bus tickets. Some riders at a native Greyhound bus stop said they would be considering getting involved in this service rather than taking the bus.

The Living Desert provides an experience unlike any other. In reality, PSP's tranquil environment is only one reason why Palm Springs International Airport was named one of the best 10 Most Stress-Free Airports in the usa by SmarterTraveler.com. Unfortunately, it's illegal to enter the USA from Manning Park via the PCT.

DOT drug testing Coachella CA centers are within minutes of your office or home and same day service can be found generally. The aim of the meeting was supposed to determine methods by which the two agencies could work together. Companions may come along if space permits and if they're a senior or someone with a disability.

When you get in the show, that which we do (and the majority of people do) is try to smuggle in drinks and food since it saves you plenty of money, Gerber states. The likelihood of rain is just 20 percent. Actually, a fast tour of Coachella shows a good deal of activity.

You don't have to pay the $2 for trips if you're in a Managed Care Health Plan. No RVs will be permitted into the campgrounds beyond campground hours. Electric vehicles fit into the idea of smart cities.

Our most recent model vehicles are almost always clean, stocked with chilled bottled water and popular magazines to make sure your comfort whilst on the street. Thissolar power systemwill be utilized to power the very first public transportation system on earth mostly run by solar power. The next time you're in the marketplace and you wind up looking at the produce section, don't forget the water it requires to grow all the things we have to eat and should you know a farmer, tell them THANK YOU!

Shazam Since it's a festival with a wide selection of artists, there's a strong probability you'll locate a song you don't know. Now you've got to research the ideal location to stay, what to pack and the way to reach the well-known music festival. At Roadrunner our greatest priority is satisfied clients.

Failure to follow along with the time restrictions will end in the citation being upheld. Doing something similar to this mobile ordering allows us to attain that.  Actually, the northern end of Chile is really the most solar-energy-intensive place on the planet.

In case you have any inquiries or concerns, we've provided the aforementioned form for you to complete. While the businesses take measures to screen their drivers, there's always a chance of error. Tours give a chance for customers to observe the behind-the-scenes facets of the services that we provide, while allowing the District the chance to share important information on the topic of infrastructure, sustainability, water quality and more.

This set is a huge value for the cost! Utilizing the app lets you and your buddies share your locations, so nobody should be concerned about getting lost. It was only time to benefit from the Coachella payment program.

As your application is utilized to assess your job qualifications, it is essential that it include all appropriate education and experience for the last ten (10) years. If you're currently a DOT regulated company you're subject to regular inspections to guarantee compliance. Learn more on the subject of browser settings here.

It appears beautiful at this time and I'll update my review if there's any problems but I would say buy this today! No matter the sort of event you're hosting, we've got a portable toilet to fulfill your requirements. There is not a thing that you'll have to be concerned about as the absolute most well-mannered and skilled chauffeur will look after everything for you.

The agency states it applies to ten airports and nine airlines. Travelers who are thinking about taking the bus to popular tourist attractions are going to be happy to be aware that the site provides easily accessible info about which bus lines travel to which locations. It is possible to select your destination from our on-line map and Moovit will get the best available routes to get you where you should go!

All services are at no cost. If you'd like to use the payment program, please be certain to select that option when checking out. Other payment forms won't be accepted.

As stated by the NTSB, over 37,000 Americans die as a consequence of car crashes annually, nearly all of which are preventable Shuttle To Lax. The Maven Gig app was made to help people who currently may not own a vehicle, but still would like to be an area of the gig economy, she explained. He still arrived on time.

On the site or apps you will discover numerous links to other sites. Minimum browser requirements needed to put an order online Make sure that you have the most updated browser version. That information may be used for identity theft.

[willowhaven-blog1]

2018 was a year of ups and downs for me. In January I went back to college at Benedictine College to work towards my bachelors in sociology. I was working full-time at night and attending school full-time during the day. Exhausted doesn’t begin to describe it.

As busy as it was, I felt such a great sense of accomplishment everyday as I worked towards such a difficult goal. I enjoyed the classes I was taking and  the challenge excited me. Then everything changed. Cancer took that all from me. The excitement, the motivation, the incredible sense of accomplishment. With three words, that all was gone.

When I was no longer able to work or go to school, I lost my sense of purpose. I laid in bed for days and weeks feeling in credibly sorry for myself. I began to give up on myself, and to give up in life in general. During this time I was talking to a friend of mine about my younger sister who had recently moved to Arizona. I was talking about how proud I was of her for moving so far away to chase a dream. It was while we were talking that my friend suggested that maybe I should take a trip to visit her. My initial response was are you kidding? I can’t even get out of bed, let alone make a trip halfway across the country. But my friend told me that it would be good for me, to get away and see something new.

Suddenly I had a goal to work towards. I began pushing myself to get out of bed, even if just to walk around the house and get my own meals. In the beginning it was incredibly hard. I was extremely weak and couldn’t walk without a walker. But I kept pushing. Soon I graduated to using a cane, and finally I was able to walk short distances unassisted. I was so proud of myself. It’s amazing how much you take for granted in life until it’s gone.

In late November I had a hysterectomy to stop my body from producing the hormones that were feeding the tumor in my breast. While this surgery was incredibly necessary, I was a little sad because I figured my recovery would set my trip plans behind but I had a goal. I decided I wasn’t going to let something as minor as surgery stop me.

I pushed myself more and more each day. I became more active. I started driving again. Surprisingly enough, the more active I became, the pain that had become a part of my life began to fade. During my worst days I had been taking as many as 24 Percocets a day without relief. Suddenly I realized I was down to as few as four during a 24 hour period. Slowly I was taking back control of my life. Cancer wasn’t winning the war anymore. I was. The sense of pride I felt couldn’t compare to anything I had ever done before. I felt as though I had just won the Boston Marathon.

I had an appointment with my oncologist scheduled for December 10th. My goal had been to leave for Arizona the Wednesday following if my doctor felt I was healthy enough to go. He was so pleased to see the progress I had made since my first appointment when my pain was so bad that reduced to using a wheelchair because I was unable to walk. Now I was walking again and had actually driven myself so my husband didn’t need to miss a day of work. Much to my delight, my doctor told me he thought the trip would be great medicine for me.

Having received my oncologist’s blessing, I began to make the final arrangements to take the bucket list trip of a lifetime. I had considered flying into Phoenix to shorten my trip, but after much deliberation I decided that driving would offer me the opportunity to see more of the world and with no real time table in my head I planned to take my time and see what there was to see.

As I left Atchison on December 12 I began to have second thoughts. Would I be able to make such a long drive after being bedridden for so long and having only been getting up and around for such a short time? Would my back hold up to the strain of the trip? I was facing a 21 hour drive, the longest drive I had ever made in myself. I almost changed my mind many times as I set out for Arizona, but I kept telling myself I can do this.

The further along on my trip, the better I felt. For the first time in months, the weight of my stress and anxiety began to evaporate. With each mile I drove, a happiness and calm settled over me. Normally when I am driving I become so focused on the road that I miss everything around me. For the first time, I opened my eyes to everything around me taking in each little detail seeing the world with a childlike wonder.

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I had my first daughter two days before 19th birthday. I had spent my entire adult life caring for my children and had never really had the opportunity to travel. While my peers were traveling to Europe and going to college, I was changing diapers and burping babies. I had never really made it outside of the midwest and this was one of the few times I had ever taken a vacation that didn’t involve a soccer tournament. Normally those trips were rushed and there was very little time to relax and enjoy the sights around me.

The further I got from home, the more I saw all of the beauty in the world. As the miles passed, I began to believe in myself and for the first time I believed that cancer wasn’t going to beat me. I was going to fight with everything I had in me and I was going to live whatever life I had left no matter how long or short as though each day was my last. I decided that I refused to die with regrets.

When I reached the mountains of Arizona and my sister’s home, I was overwhelmed with everything I had seen. I was excited to see my sister, her husband, my adorable niece and my favorite floofer (code word for dog). I spent four days relaxing in the warm Arizona air, far from the cold of Kansas. The days with my sister were lazy and simple and incredibly calming. My mind was clear and free of worry over my future. I took each day as they came without thinking about whether cancer would beat me.

As my days with my sister came to a close I made the decision to head further west since I was only four hours from the sandy beaches of San Diego. I was amazed as each mile passed and I drove through the mountains and palm trees. I was amazed by the mild weather and when I reached San Diego  I fell in love with the sights all around me. I walked through the beautiful winter wonderland of Balboa Park at night, and dipped my toes in the ocean during the day. I enjoyed the tastes of authentic Mexican and Italian food, and let my mind clear from any of the negative thoughts that had held me hostage since my diagnosis.

As I returned home I had a new goal. My journey had given me a new purpose. My passion for nursing was still there and I realized just how much I missed taking care of and spending time with my patients. But I also realized that my time might be short and I wanted to experience as much as I could for whatever time I might have left. The more I thought about this, the more my mind wandered back to an idea I had a few years earlier. I wanted to move on from my staff hospital position and become a travel nurse. I realized that travel nursing would offer me the opportunity to combine my love of nursing with the ability to travel and see all that the country has to offer.

I celebrated New Years Eve by mailing my applications to Arizona and California to obtain my nursing licenses. In the weeks following I began discussing opportunities with recruiters, and began the initial process to build my file for submission to future employers.

As excited as I was, a cloud of fear hovered over me. Would my body be strong enough to return to work? When I had my appointment with my oncologist on January 10th, as terrified as I was to hear the answer I asked my doctor if my career was over. He looked at me and told me he didn’t see why. In one moment all my fears evaporated. I will be able to return to the work I love so much. Cancer didn’t take nursing from me.

2018 brought a lot of pain and fear as I was forced to accept my new reality. 2019 is going to be a year of adventure and discovery for me. Some days I am angry for all of the changes that have come to my life since I heard those terrible words ‘you have cancer.’ There are still days that I want to cry when I think about possibly not being here to watch my nieces and grandchildren grow up.

Even with all of the sadness and uncertainty cancer has brought to my life, some days I am thankful for the things I have gained. I have realized how very precious life is and how important it is to appreciate the gift of each day. I live more fully, I love more deeply, and I appreciate each moment I have. I’m living with cancer, not dying from it. I’m LIVING. Each minute of every day.

Jennifer – Extensive mets to bones. Diagnosed de novo at 43 on 9/25/2018. Cancer won’t win. I won’t let it. Life’s too short not to fight for every minute. Dx 9/25/2018, invasive ductal carcinoma (IDC), left breast, 1.5cm, Nottingham Grade 3, hormone receptor positive, ER+ (estrogen receptor)/PR+ (progesterone receptor), HER2- (human epidermal growth factor), BRACA- (genetic mutation), Stage IV, metastasized to bones First CA 27.29 10/9/2018 83 (goal <38) Hormonal Therapy 10/12/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Targeted Therapy 10/12/2018 Xgeva injection (Denosumab) Hormonal Therapy 10/19/2018 Lupron Depot injection (Leuprolide Acetate) Surgery 11/29/2018 Vaginal hysterectomy with bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy First CA 27.29 post hysterectomy 12/10/2018 73 (goal <38) Hormonal Therapy 12/11/2018 Femara pills (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 12/23/2018 Ibrance pills (palbociclib) First CA 27.29 post medication change 1/10/2019 60 (goal <38)

New Year, New Me! 2018 was a year of ups and downs for me. In January I went back to college at Benedictine College to work towards my bachelors in sociology.

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http://highwaytobeauty.info/tea-tree-oil-giot-nao-do-tat-ca/ 's hire from Angela Ahrendts, CEO of British style label Burberry, has each tech and also manner target markets talking. Nevertheless, in acquiring a long electric battery lifestyle and also exquisite appearance, you'll give up a number of the bells and also whistles of contending devices. While Apple is actually emphasizing inclusiveness, the adjustment in drawing style has a decent amount from importance, as well, by changing the approach from practically cartoonish to a more practical computer animation style similar to 3D computer animated films. As a result of its own concept, the cover style of computer keyboard is actually thinner and usually lighter compared to its folio brother or sisters. So in event from what will've been Whitney Houston's birthday party today, August 9, I wish to share 11 type courses that the famous vocalist has actually taught me. 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Utilize these results as one-click results in Photoshop Coating results or even customize the setups depending on the shape/dpi or make use of level scaling to make 100s from variant level types. For types you make use of frequently, start labels along with a variety-- for 2header, 1body or example-- so they will seem at the top of the listing. Prisma's application currently supports real-time type transfer for livestreaming video clips relayed to the Facebook Live platform. There is definitely a cuteness element listed here, yet the design from graphics and animation will not suit everyone.

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