#and now that im out of it the memorys fading fast

[modpoppy]

think i got haunted by bill cipher in real life

[soulofapatrick]

Wingspan - Azriel x female reader

Summary: You decide Azriel's lap is where you'll sit which leads to something new

Warnings: Semi-smut; male orgasm

Words: 5K

Notes: I feel like im teasing you all with no real smut these last few ACOTAR stories hehe - you will get your smutty pt 2s I promise

Y/N's POV

As I step into the lounging area of the House of Wind, the warmth from the fire crackles softly in the background, but the room is full of quiet laughter and relaxed conversation. Every seat is taken.

Cassian is sprawled out on the couch nearest the hearth, his muscular frame looking far too large for the space, his arm slung lazily around Nesta. She’s sitting beside him, legs tucked beneath her, engrossed in a book but absently resting her hand on his thigh. Across from them, Feyre sits next to Rhysand, her head resting against his shoulder as they talk quietly, her soft laugh occasionally filling the room. Rhys lounges with that familiar ease, and the moment I step inside, his eyes meet mine. A brow quirks, and I know instantly that he’s about to summon another chair for me.

I shake my head, just the smallest movement, and his smirk widens knowingly.

Elain is seated next to Mor, both chatting lightly, and Amren is perched in an armchair with a drink in hand, glancing up from a book now and then, clearly uninterested in the chatter around her.

But my eyes find him. Azriel is sitting alone in a solitary armchair, slightly apart from the others, his long legs stretched out in front of him, one ankle crossed over the other. His shadows swirl faintly around his shoulders, and he holds a barely touched drink in his hand, eyes distant as if lost in thought.

Without a word, I make a beeline for him, my heart picking up speed as I approach. His hazel eyes lift when he senses me coming, a flicker of surprise crossing his features. His expression softens almost immediately, though, his gaze innocent, confused, as if he can’t quite believe I’m heading straight for him.

I don’t stop. I reach out, nudging his arm gently, and he instinctively shifts the glass from his lap, his breath catching in his throat as I slide smoothly onto it, settling into his lap like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

For a moment, he’s utterly still, his body tense beneath mine. The faintest hint of a blush creeps across his cheeks, and I can feel the way his breath hitches slightly, like he’s trying to keep his composure. His free hand hovers awkwardly for a second, unsure where to rest, before it finally settles on my waist with a cautious, almost reverent touch.

Azriel says nothing, but his lips part as if to speak. I glance up at him, catching the quiet storm of emotions swirling in those beautiful hazel eyes—surprise, uncertainty, but beneath it all, a soft warmth that he tries to hide behind his usual stoicism.

His shadows dance lightly around us, curling closer as if they, too, are reacting to the shift in our proximity. The room around us seems to fade, the others’ conversations becoming distant as we sit there, close, his breath steadying but his chest still rising a little too fast. He’s not used to this kind of attention—not from me.

I reach for the glass in his hand, gently prying it from his grasp. His fingers linger on the cool surface for a moment before he releases it, watching me closely. Without breaking eye contact, I raise the drink to my lips, taking a slow sip. The liquid is smooth, warming as it slides down my throat, but what really heats me is the way Azriel’s eyes darken, honing in on the way my tongue darts across my bottom lip to catch the last drop.

His gaze is searing, intense, as if he's committing the moment to memory, and for a heartbeat, it’s just the two of us in the room. Then, as if by some unseen force—probably Rhys or Amren—the glass vanishes from my hand. I barely have time to process its disappearance before Azriel moves.

It’s instinctual, primal—the way his scarred hands slide up my waist, firm and possessive, pulling me closer. Before I can react, his face buries in the crook of my neck, and I feel the warmth of his breath as he inhales deeply. He’s holding me like he needs to, like being close to me is the only thing keeping him grounded. I can feel the faint tremor in his arms, the way he tries to keep his composure even though he’s giving in to some deeper urge.

I relax against him, sinking into his embrace, my body shifting slightly in his lap as I try to get more comfortable. The movement causes his grip to tighten, and a low, guttural sound escapes him—a growl, quiet but unmistakable, rumbling from deep within his chest. The sound sends a shiver racing down my spine.

That’s when I feel it—him. Stirring beneath me, hardening as I shift, and it’s my turn for my breath to catch in my throat. The weight of him beneath me is undeniable now, and suddenly, every inch of space between us feels electric. I can’t breathe, can’t move, trapped in the tension that pulses between us, my heart hammering against my chest.

Azriel's breath hitches as I shift slightly in his lap again, the movement sending a jolt of awareness through both of us. His grip on my waist tightens, almost as if he’s afraid I might slip away. His face remains buried in the crook of my neck, and I can feel the warm brush of his lips against my skin, his breath coming in uneven, shallow pulls. His scent—night-chilled wind and cedar—wraps around me, intoxicating and overwhelming, and I can't help but lean into him, the tension between us crackling in the air.

For a moment, all I can hear is the sound of his breathing and the steady thrum of my own heartbeat, loud in my ears. His hands, calloused and scarred from years of battle, hold me like I’m something fragile, but there’s a rawness to the way his fingers press into my skin, as though he’s fighting the urge to pull me even closer.

I shift again, just slightly, and this time, a soft moan escapes his lips, barely audible but filled with a need that sends heat pooling low in my belly. My own breath catches in my throat, a shiver coursing through me as I feel the hard length of him press more insistently against me. My heart races, and I know that he feels it too—the pounding rhythm of it against his chest, the rising heat between us.

Azriel finally lifts his head, and when his eyes meet mine, they’re darker than I’ve ever seen them, his usual calm shattered by the hunger simmering just beneath the surface. His gaze flickers to my lips for a brief second, and I see the way his jaw clenches, like he’s holding back from doing something he desperately wants to do.

I feel his grip loosen slightly, his thumbs brushing against the fabric of my shirt in small, absent circles, but his eyes never leave mine. The tension between us hums in the air, almost unbearable now, as if the world around us has disappeared, leaving only this moment. My body feels like it’s on fire, every nerve on high alert from his touch, his closeness.

I open my mouth, trying to find something to say, but before I can, his scarred hand moves, sliding from my waist to the back of my neck. His fingers tangle in my hair, gentle but possessive, as he tilts my head just slightly, his face so close to mine that I can feel the heat of his breath ghosting over my lips.

"Are you... okay?" His voice is low, hoarse, like he’s barely able to get the words out, his control hanging by a thread. There’s a vulnerability in his question, as if he’s afraid of what my answer might be.

I nod, swallowing hard, my body trembling against him. "Yes," I whisper, my voice breathy and uneven, and his grip on my neck tightens, just slightly.

The corners of his lips twitch, but it’s not quite a smile. More like he’s relieved, as if that simple word unlocked something within him. His gaze drops to my lips again, and this time, there’s no mistaking the hunger in his eyes.

Before I can even process it, his mouth is on mine—slow at first, tentative, like he’s still unsure if he’s allowed to have this. But then I kiss him back, and something inside him snaps. His hand tightens in my hair, pulling me closer, and his other arm wraps fully around my waist, holding me against him as his lips move hungrily against mine.

His kiss is fierce, consuming, like he’s been starving for this moment and can’t get enough. I melt into him, my hands finding the front of his shirt, clutching at the fabric as if it’s the only thing tethering me to reality. Every brush of his lips, every stroke of his tongue sends sparks of heat racing through me, and I can’t think—can’t focus on anything except the feel of him, the way he tastes, the way his body responds to every movement I make.

When we finally break apart, both of us are breathless, our foreheads resting together. His chest rises and falls rapidly, his eyes still dark with need, but there’s a softness there now, too, something tender that makes my heart ache.

His voice is barely a whisper when he speaks. "I've wanted this... for so long." His confession hangs in the air between us, raw and unguarded, and I can see the vulnerability in his eyes, the fear that maybe I don’t feel the same.

But I do. Gods, I do.

I press my lips to his again, softer this time, letting him know without words that I want this too—that I want him. His body relaxes beneath me, the tension melting from his shoulders as he kisses me back, slower now, more controlled, savouring the moment as if we have all the time in the world.

And in this moment, in Azriel’s arms, it feels like we do.

Our breaths mingle, warm and shallow, as we slowly pull away from the kiss. The world seems to stand still around us, every sound muffled by the rush of blood in my ears, by the feel of his hands still gripping me, like I’m the only thing keeping him anchored. I finally glance around the room, blinking as if waking from a dream, and that’s when I realise we’re alone.

The others—Cassian, Nesta, Feyre, Rhys, Mor, Amren, and Elain—they’re gone. At some point, they must have quietly slipped away, leaving us here in the lounging area, tangled together on the chair like some kind of forgotten secret. My face flushes with sudden awareness, the intimacy of the moment crashing over me now that we’re truly, utterly alone.

Azriel must sense it—the sudden flush creeping up my neck, the way my body stiffens just slightly. His eyes narrow, a flicker of concern passing through them, but before I can even speak, the world around me shifts.

It happens so fast—one moment I’m sitting on his lap, surrounded by the warmth of the fire, and the next I’m engulfed in darkness. Not just darkness, though—his shadows. They wrap around me, soft, velvety, and thick, their weight comforting and familiar as they pull me under. I barely have time to register the sensation of falling before I land, gently, on something soft beneath me.

I blink up, my breath catching as I realise I’m on my back, lying on the plush surface of a bed. The shadows swirl around me before retreating, leaving nothing but the low glow of candlelight to illuminate the room. My heart pounds in my chest as I take in my surroundings—the large bed beneath me, the soft sheets crumpled around my legs, the faint scent of night-blooming flowers hanging in the air. And then, I see him.

Azriel is hovering above me, his body blocking out most of the dim light, his wings half unfurled like a dark halo around him. His hands are braced on either side of my head, caging me in, and his face is only inches from mine. The shadows still dance around his shoulders, swirling lazily, but his gaze… his gaze is locked on me, and it’s intense, burning with something that makes my breath catch all over again.

He’s staring at me like I’m something precious, something he can’t quite believe he’s allowed to have. His lips part as if to speak, but he hesitates, his eyes flicking over my face as if he’s memorising every detail. His presence is overwhelming—warm and solid and intoxicating, and I can’t help the way my body reacts to him, my skin buzzing with the nearness of him.

Azriel’s wings flutter slightly as he hovers above me, his breath coming in short, ragged bursts, eyes locked onto mine with a fire that seems barely contained. The room around us is dim, the only light spilling in from the moon outside the windows, casting long, gentle shadows that seem to dance across his features. His wings frame him, dark and powerful, the membranous folds trembling with barely concealed tension.

I feel it too, the overwhelming tension that hangs between us—thick, electric, like a storm about to break. My pulse races, the heat between us coiling tight in my chest, and I can’t help but take in the sight of him. His muscles are taut beneath his shirt, his shoulders broad and wings extended just enough that I can see them twitching, the sensitivity of that velvety skin so evident even from where I lay beneath him.

His eyes are locked on me, dark and molten, and the connection between us, the bond we share, hums with the weight of his desire, of his need. I feel his emotions as if they’re my own—raw, unfiltered hunger. It’s like standing on the edge of a cliff, knowing there’s no way back, and part of me is already tumbling over it.

The bond pulses with an intoxicating mixture of want and restraint. I sense his struggle to hold back, to keep himself in check, even though the thread of control is so thin it feels like it could snap at any moment. His shadows swirl restlessly around us, as if they, too, are caught up in this moment, drawn to the fire igniting between us.

“Azriel…” I whisper, my voice barely audible in the quiet of the room, but the sound seems to break whatever thread of control he was holding onto.

His gaze softens, and without a word, his head dips, his lips brushing against my throat, feather-light but sending sparks racing through my veins. His breath is warm against my skin as he inhales deeply, as if he’s savouring the moment, the feel of me beneath him.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” His voice is a low, gravelly whisper against my neck, filled with equal parts wonder and restraint. His hands, those scarred, powerful hands, slip down to my waist again, pulling me closer to him as he presses his body flush against mine, his weight grounding me.

I shiver beneath him, the flush on my face deepening as I feel him everywhere—his solid chest pressed against mine, his hips brushing against my legs, his scent surrounding me, wrapping me in warmth and desire. My pulse races, and I know he can feel it, can hear it with those sharp senses of his.

I open my mouth to respond, but the words die in my throat as he lifts his head, his eyes meeting mine again, dark and full of that smouldering intensity that makes me feel like I’m the only person in the world. His thumb brushes against my hip, a simple touch, but it sends a wave of heat coursing through me.

Azriel's lips curl into the faintest of smiles, and then, as if unable to hold back any longer, he leans down, his lips capturing mine in a kiss that’s slower this time, more deliberate. It’s not rushed or desperate like before, but deep, exploring, savouring. His mouth moves against mine, teasing, tasting, and I can’t help but arch into him, the heat between us growing more intense with every passing second.

The soft sheets crumple beneath me as I reach up, my fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer as I kiss him back with everything I have. He responds with a low, guttural sound in the back of his throat, the sound vibrating against my lips, and it sends another shiver down my spine.

His body shifts above me, his weight pressing me deeper into the mattress, and I feel the hardness of him, unmistakable now, as he presses against me. My breath hitches, and I can’t stop the way my hips move, instinctively arching up toward him, seeking more of that delicious contact.

Azriel breaks the kiss with a sharp intake of breath, his eyes hooded and dark as he pulls back just enough to look at me. His expression is raw, full of want and need, but there’s something else there, too—something vulnerable, as if he’s asking for permission.

"Tell me to stop if you want me to," he murmurs, his voice hoarse, barely above a whisper, but I can hear the restraint, the effort it takes for him to hold back.

I meet his gaze, my heart pounding, and slowly, deliberately, I shake my head. “Don’t stop.”

That’s all it takes.

The moment the words leave my lips, Azriel’s entire demeanour shifts. The restraint he’s been holding onto starts to unravel, his gaze darkening to a molten amber that sends a shiver through me. His hands tighten on my waist as though he’s been waiting for this—waiting for permission to lose control.

And then, his mouth crashes back onto mine, but this time the kiss is deeper, hungrier, as if he’s been starved for this. His tongue teases mine, coaxing and tasting, and my body responds with an intensity that surprises even me. I can’t help but arch into him, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt as I pull him closer, needing more of him, more of his touch.

Azriel groans softly, the sound rumbling through his chest and vibrating against me. His hand slides down to my thigh, his strong fingers digging into the soft skin as he hitches my leg over his hip. The movement presses our bodies together in a way that has me gasping, feeling every inch of him against me.

And gods, he feels good. So good it’s almost overwhelming.

He drags his lips from mine, trailing hot kisses down my jaw and to my neck. Each one is deliberate, like he’s savouring the taste of me, and I tilt my head, giving him more access. He doesn’t hesitate. His teeth graze the sensitive skin of my throat, and I gasp, the sensation sending sparks of pleasure racing through my veins. His wings shift slightly behind him, a subtle twitch as if even they are responding to the growing tension.

I slide my hands down his back, feeling the hard muscles beneath the fabric, and then lower, fingers brushing the edge of his wings. His reaction is immediate. A low, guttural sound rumbles from his chest, and his wings flare, just slightly, the movement causing him to press more firmly against me.

I do it again, trailing my fingers along the sensitive membrane, and Azriel gasps this time, his breath hitching. His wings are trembling under my touch, the connection between us growing more electric.

"Careful," he murmurs, his voice hoarse, strained. "They’re... sensitive."

I smirk, teasing him again with the softest brush of my fingertips along the arch of his wing, watching as his reaction mirrors the way he would if I touched him elsewhere—his body tensing, his grip tightening on my waist, his breath catching in his throat.

“Sensitive?” I murmur back, voice low, playful. “Good to know.”

Before I can do it again, Azriel’s patience seems to snap. In one swift motion, he pulls back, grabbing the hem of my shirt and yanking it over my head, discarding it without a second thought. His eyes rake over me, dark and full of hunger, and he lets out another growl, the sound making my pulse race.

"Beautiful," he murmurs, barely loud enough to hear. But I do, and it sends a flush of heat through me. 

Without hesitation, his hands return to my body, but this time, he doesn’t stop. His mouth follows the path of his fingers, trailing hot kisses down my neck, across my collarbone, and lower still. His lips and hands explore every inch of me as if memorising me, worshiping me.

And all the while, his wings—those magnificent, powerful wings—shudder in time with his touch, as if they are just as desperate for contact, just as in need of attention.

My breath hitches as I lift a hand, letting my fingers gently trail over the scars that line his forearms, feeling the tension thrumming beneath his skin. His breath falters, and I can sense him tip just a little closer to losing himself, feel the wild, unconfined need rippling through the bond.

Without breaking eye contact, I let my hand drift higher, toward his wings.

His reaction is immediate. The moment my fingertips graze the soft, sensitive skin of his wing, a shudder runs through him. His wings flare slightly, trembling as though he’s fighting not to let them fully expand. I can feel his breath catch, the bond between us flaring with the intensity of his pleasure, the sensation so strong it nearly knocks the breath from my lungs.

I don’t stop, letting my fingers trail along the edge of his wing, marvelling at how the slightest touch sends shockwaves through his body. His wings twitch, and his control slips just a little further. His whole body is trembling now, the tension in him barely held together, and the bond surges with the primal, visceral pleasure he’s feeling.

"You’re playing with fire," he growls, his voice low and dangerous, but there’s a glint of amusement, a challenge hidden behind the heat.

Before I can respond, he’s kissing me again, harder this time, more possessive. His hands slide lower, fingers digging into my hips as he presses his body more firmly against mine, and I can feel every inch of him, hard and ready, against me.

The intensity between us builds, a slow, burning heat that’s all-consuming, and I can’t help the soft moan that escapes me, my body arching into his touch. A soft groan escapes him, low and guttural, as his hands grip my waist, holding me as if I’m the only thing anchoring him to reality. But when I press a little harder, tracing the ridges of his wing, something in him snaps.

He buries his face in the crook of my neck with a desperate, almost feral groan, his breath hot and ragged against my skin. I feel the sharp bite of his teeth grazing my neck, almost too hard, but the pain mingles with pleasure so intense it sends a shiver down my spine. His hands tighten around me, pulling me impossibly closer as his wings tremble violently beneath my touch.

Before I realise it, Azriel’s entire body convulses with the force of it, a full-body shudder that ripples through him as he comes undone, his breath heavy and laboured, his wings quivering beneath my hands as the overwhelming pleasure tips him over the edge. His face remains buried in my neck, his lips pressed hard against my skin, and I can feel the pulse of his heartbeat racing, hear the low, guttural groan that escapes him as his body tenses and then releases in wave after wave of pleasure. His hips jerk into mine and I can feel the way embarrassment tinges the thread of our bond to I just kiss the side of his forehead as he rides out his orgasm. 

The bond between us flares white-hot, filled with the intensity of his release, and I can’t help but gasp, feeling every shudder, every tremor as if it’s my own. His wings continue to tremble beneath my touch, and I keep my fingers there, gently stroking the sensitive skin, letting him ride out the final waves of pleasure until his body slowly begins to relax.

Azriel’s breath is still hot against my neck, his body pressed so intimately against mine that I can feel every lingering tremor that still rocks through him. For a moment, neither of us moves, suspended in the quiet aftermath, with only the sound of his heavy breathing and the rapid beat of our hearts filling the room. But then, I feel it—the unmistakable tension of his body growing rigid again, the slow but deliberate shift of his hips against mine as the evidence of his renewed desire presses hard against my thigh.

Slowly, Azriel raises his head from where he’d buried it in my neck, his breathless groans now replaced with quiet, almost desperate pants. His hazel eyes lock onto mine, and they’re no longer merely molten—they’re molten chocolate, deep and swirling with so much raw need that it nearly knocks the breath from my lungs. His gaze is intense, but beneath the fire burning there, I see something else—something that makes my heart stutter in my chest.

He’s pleading.

“I need you,” he whispers, voice rough and low, his hands shaking as they grip my waist just a little tighter. His forehead rests against mine, eyes heavy-lidded but full of a barely contained hunger. His lips part as if he’s about to speak again, but it’s as though the words are too difficult to form. Instead, they tumble out, strained and needy, “Please…”

There’s no mistaking the fervent desire coursing through him. His body, his wings, even the bond between us pulses with it. He’s already hard, ready, and I can feel it—the urgency in every inch of him as his hips press forward, seeking any relief. But despite the wild hunger coursing through him, despite how his entire body shakes with need, he still waits. He still pauses. His fingers twitch slightly at my sides as if every fibre of his being is fighting for control, waiting for permission.

The gentleman in him, even in this frenzy, is waiting for me to say yes.

One word, a singular thought, chants in my head over and over again, echoing through the bond, through every breath I take as I look up at him. It’s a need that matches his, an all-consuming fire that burns hotter with every second that ticks by.

Mate.

I reach for his shirt without thinking, my hands trembling with the same need that’s consuming him. My fingers curl into the fabric, and I don’t even hesitate. I rip it in two with a force I didn’t know I had, the sound of tearing fabric filling the room as the shirt falls away from his body in tatters.

Azriel lets out a low, rough groan as the shirt is discarded, his wings flaring slightly, and his eyes darken even further—if that’s possible. His skin is flushed, the muscles of his chest and arms rippling under the soft moonlight, and I can’t help but run my hands across the broad expanse of his chest, feeling the way his breath stutters beneath my touch.

But we’re not done.

Azriel’s hands move down to his trousers, and with one smooth motion, he’s shucking them off, kicking them aside with an urgency that leaves my heart racing even faster. The sight of him, naked and unashamed, standing over me with every inch of him ready and willing, sends a fresh wave of desire crashing through me.

My own body burns, flushed with heat as I feel the bond between us pulsing with an overwhelming surge of need. He moves with precision, fingers deft but trembling as he does the same to me, discarding every layer between us until there’s nothing left, until I’m as bare to him as he is to me.

His eyes never leave mine, and there’s something almost reverent in the way he looks at me now, like he’s seeing me for the first time, or maybe like I’m the only thing that exists in this moment. His hands are gentle as they skim over my skin, but there’s a trembling edge to his touch, a tension that speaks of the frenzied desire threatening to overtake him.

And through the bond, I feel it too—the storm brewing inside both of us, the need to come together, to consummate what’s been simmering between us for so long.

Azriel’s wings twitch, his breathing erratic as he hovers above me, every muscle in his body taut with restraint. He lowers himself, his body pressing against mine, skin to skin, and I feel the weight of him, the heat of him. His breath ghosts over my lips, and his voice, husky and raw, whispers again, “Tell me… tell me what you want.”

I feel his body trembling, barely held together by the thread of control that’s slipping fast. His hands are on either side of me, but it’s his wings that twitch, sensitive and exposed, sending a shudder through him every time they brush against the sheets. His eyes plead with me, and I know that this moment is the tipping point. All I have to do is speak the word, give him the permission he’s so desperately seeking.

And the bond between us pulses, thundering in my chest, as that singular word echoes louder and louder in my mind.

Now.

ACOTAR Masterlist TAG LIST - updated 12th Oct 2024

[musicforastylesrestaurant]

Happy Anniversary M’Love.

masterlist || ask me anything <3

anniversary masterlist here !!

authors note - can you believe that it’s my blogs one year anniversary?? time has simply gone by so fast and im so thankful kill for everyone that has been there along the way 🥲 i adore each and every single one of you. 🥹

warning: smut.

word count - 1.6k

in which, it’s your and your husbands first wedding anniversary, he’s flown the two of you out to the country where it all began, hired a boat and got you all to himself, what more could he ask for?

May 22, 2023.

Exactly one year ago, in the intimate courtyard of your Italian villa, you said "I do" to the absolute love of your life.

The memory of that day is etched in your mind like a cherished painting. Surrounded by your closest friends and family, under the canopy of Mediterranean skies, you exchanged vows that echoed the depth of your love for each other.

The scent of Tuscan flowers mingled with the laughter and joy that filled the air, creating a moment suspended in time.

Now, as you celebrate your one-year wedding anniversary, back in the picturesque town of Civita di Bagnoregio where it all began, he surprised you with a romantic gesture that makes your heart skip a beat.

He had rented a boat for the two of you, a symbol of the journey you've embarked on together.

As the boat gently rocks on the tranquil waters, you and Harry find yourselves hidden away from the world, cocooned in the intimate embrace of the bedroom.

You lay sprawled on the soft mattress, your eyes tracing the contours of Harry's back as he applies sunscreen with gentle strokes.

His tattoos dance beneath his touch, each one telling a story of his journey through life. You're mesmerized by the way his muscles flex and ripple beneath his skin, a testament to his strength and resilience.

Silently, you rise from the bed, the gentle sway of the boat beneath you barely perceptible as you make your way over to where Harry stands by the dresser. With a mischievous smile playing on your lips, you wrap your arms around his waist, pulling him close as you press tender kisses along his back.

The taste of sunscreen lingers on your lips, but you pay it no mind, lost in the sensation of Harry's warmth beneath your touch. He lets out a surprised laugh, turning to face you with a quizzical expression.

"What are you doing?" he asks, amusement dancing in his eyes.

You simply hum in response, your lips trailing a path of soft kisses along the expanse of his back, reveling in the feel of his skin against yours.

Each touch ignites a spark of desire within you, fueling the fire that burns between you.

Feeling Harry's hand press against your waist, drawing you closer, sends a jolt of electricity coursing through your veins. His other hand gently tilts your head upward, his eyes locking with yours in a silent promise of passion.

As his lips meet yours in a tender kiss, the world around you fades into insignificance, leaving only the sweet taste of his love lingering on your lips.

The softness of his touch ignites a fire within you, spreading warmth throughout your body as you melt into his embrace.

With each gentle caress, the intensity of your connection deepens, a silent symphony of desire and longing that binds you together in perfect harmony.

With a playful glint in his eyes, Harry whispers,

"Jump."

You chuckle softly, wrapping your legs around his waist and jumping into his arms. His strong embrace catches you effortlessly, his warmth enveloping you as he holds you close.

As you lock eyes with Harry, a mischievous smile plays on your lips.

"Well, here I am," you tease, your heart racing with excitement.

Harry's grin widens, his eyes sparkling with anticipation.

"And here I am," he replies, his voice laced with a hint of desire.

Before you can say another word, he presses his lips against yours once more, the kiss igniting a fire within you that threatens to consume your every thought.

Lost in the intensity of the moment, you let out a soft hum of approval, your fingers tangling in his hair as you deepen the kiss.

Breaking away slightly, you meet his gaze with a playful glint in your eye.

"Take me to bed," you whisper, your voice filled with longing.

Harry's grin turns into a smirk as he carries you towards the bedroom, each step filled with anticipation.

"As you wish," he murmurs, his eyes never leaving yours.

As he gently lays you down on the bed, you find yourself surrounded by warmth and desire, the world outside fading into insignificance as you lose yourselves in each other's embrace.

He doesn’t hesitate in removing the green bikini top from your body, never once removing his lips from your skin, once the bikini top is removed you watch as he slowly makes his way down the bed, stopping at your legs, you can see the prominent tent forming underneath his swim shorts.

A soft moan fell from your lips as he pressed a delicate kiss to the nape of your neck, throwing your head back.

Your hands make there way to his chest, placing a hand over his heart, feeling it race underneath your fingertips.

“M’need you,” he begs, pupils blown. “Need you so bad, baby.”

Your body tensed as his hand edged closer and closer to the hem of your bikini bottoms, your eyes following his hands every move.

“Thought I’d have t’wait until later to get you like this,” he nips at your inner thigh. “Thought I’d only get to have you back home.”

“No,” you shook your head. “You can have me whenever you want.”

And with that, he pressed his tongue against your nerves, making you throw your head back in absolute bliss and ecstasy, as your mind became clouded.

He continuously pressed his tongue against your clit, your head hitting the pillow, eyes wide as every feeling entered your body.

He always made you feel so, so good.

“H-Harry,” you struggle to speak his name as you pulled and tugged at his curls, well the curls that were slowly growing back. “I’m close, so fucking close.”

He hadn’t been going at it for long, but he knew how to get you closer to the edge no matter how long he had.

He had his ways.

“We’ve got all the time in the world,” he raised his head from between your thighs and through hooded eyes you saw his face, your juices slipping down his chin.

You attempted to wrap your leg around his waist to get him closer to you, but before you had the chance he pinned your leg back down onto the bed. “Relax, take it all in.”

This time, he slid a finger in, making you throw your head back once again, your heart pounding.

“I’m close,” you whimpered. “Please H, let me come, please.”

He smirked above you, “Okay sweetheart, come f’me, come for y’gorgeous husband.”

And with that, you came undone.

Your moans filled the room of the boat, thankful that you were the only two on board, your chest was heaving and your hands were sweaty from gripping his arms.

He slowly crept his way back up the bed, his hands slowly snaking into his own shorts and sliding them down his legs, and that was when you caught sight of his length, it was dripping with pre-cum and the vein down the side of it was deep, and very very prominent.

“Do y’see what you do to me?” He muses.

He brought his hand to his shaft and pumped it a few times, his eyes rolling into the back of his head slightly. “Y’make me like this? Y’make me feel like the luckiest man in the world, y’know why?”

You gulped and shook your head.

He pinched your waist. “Because your all mine.”

He lined himself up with your entrance, the tip of his length nudgin against your entrance.

The two of you had discussed a couple of months ago that you were ready to start trying for a baby, and so that meant no condoms and going raw.

“Are you ready for me?”he quizzed, grabbing ahold of your hand as he nudged his tip a bit further.

“Yes.”

And just like that he pushed himself all of the way inside.

One hand remained in yours whilst the other pressed itself against your stomach, he watched you through hooded eyes. “Can you feel that?”

He kept thrusting in and out of you, him doing the majority of the work as you raised the other hand to hold the side of his face, brushing against his stubble.

“Can y’feel me deep inside of you baby?” He raised an eyebrow as you watched a bead of sweat travel from his hair line. “Can you feel me filling you up, giving you m’babies.”

“Uh-huh,” you nodded your head at his words, he knew the effect he had on you. “Uh-huh.”

His lips pressed against yours, he knew you were close again, he was as well, he knew that the second you came undone, he would be an absolute goner.

His thrusts became harder as he watched your mouth drop open, eyes glossing over.

“Come on baby,”He pressed his hand down against her bundle, and a low whine escaped her mouth. “Show your husband just how good he makes you feel.”

He was panting, continuing to do all of the work.

“Come on,” he urged “Come f’your husband.”

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as your mouth dropped open once again, a small whimper of his name falling from your lips.

He watched from above you, and that was when you noticed through a starry gaze that his thrusts were become out of rhythm and slightly lethargic.

“Baby,” he whimpered out the common pet name, dropping his head to your clavicle as he came undone inside of you. “Oh baby.”

Both of you were sweaty as he dropped himself down onto your chest, your boobs squashed against his chest.

He lifted his head up slightly, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, as he grabbed ahold of your hand, the cool metal of his wedding ring clashing with the cool metal of your wedding band.

“Happy Anniversary, M’love.”

[xiao-come-home]

I love reading your random Boothill thoughts 🥲. Especially the one where he is a dad. Do you think he is a girl dad or boy dad?

Ahhh thank you! Ik you sent it before his story was leaked but man was this spot on 🫠 here’s some dad!boothill hc with reader because im starving

Warning: mentions of pregnant reader and all that jazz, SPOILERS FOR BOOTHILLS STORY.

I FELT IN MY BONES he was a girl dad before it was revealed to be canon! Boothill gives so much girl dad vibes it’s immaculate. He’d love to pick out pink clothes for his daughter, pink shoes, ponies and other plushies! Or rather, he loved.

That’s until you happened to get pregnant shortly before he left for his surgery. He came back a few weeks later with his new body, but no one was home. A small gift bag sat on the table, waiting for him; Boothill opened the bag and grabbed a piece of long paper, a black and white picture. A small bean present in the middle; the back of the picture held a tiny caption, that read: “I’m only a few weeks old. I can’t wait to meet you, daddy.”

Even though the wound was still fresh and open, since not long has passed since the incident on his planet - Boothill began to feel bitter determination to give his baby the best life they could ever have; this time, a life that wouldn’t see its end so fast.

Boothill is very interested in your pregnancy! He’s sometimes unable to go to every appointment (whether be it the ipc who are hunting him, or the opposite), but he knows he can’t mess it up. Not again. He’s always holding your hand when you have an ultrasound scan, glaring at the doctor and making sure they don’t hurt you or the baby, and giving your tummy so. many. kisses. He assists you in the bath, just talking to you can keeping you company, since water, cords and a pregnant human aren’t a good combo. He wants you to tell him everything.

That’s when you finally tell Boothill that you’ll have a baby girl - his mechanic heart shatters and swells with love at the same time; it’s such a strange feeling, that makes the cowboy feel a little guilty. Both of you fall silent, until Boothill makes a move and closes the distance between you, smiling sadly at you and softly caressing your stomach with his hand, “I’ll treasure her forever.”

There are days when Boothill truly feels like the hole in his heart cannot be healed after your first daughter, but he knows she’d love to have a little sister. Yet he’s here, now a cyborg and the only memory of her is just one, lonely picture. He makes sure to never let her existence fade away by telling your round tummy that he’ll love them both until the end.

On a happier note, Boothill is just. Such a good dad, but also a chaotic one sometimes, especially if your daughter inherits her dad’s personality. They’re doing everything together - if she wants to have her hair braided, he does so, and lets her braid his (even if his hair gets so tangled at first, to the point he has to cut it 😭), good god! He loves her so much and always hugs her so tightly when she runs up to him after she notices her dad is back home.

Boothill just loves hearing her little giggles and always makes her laugh! Sometimes he tickles her so much she throws her plushies at him.

Boothill wants all her milestones to be forever preserved. He has tons of pictures of her, a few photo albums - it’s never enough. He’s so proud when she says her first word, when she takes her first steps by herself, her first drawing for him (even if she drew it on the fridge with a black marker), her first birthday. He wants to give her everything she could ever have.

Boothill might've cried the night when his little baby drew him a family portrait - with you, herself, her daddy and older sister. He's injected in her every possible good memory about her, and she never fails to appreciate her older sister even if she isn't there, knowing her dad still loves her just as much.

When Boothill’s little princess cancels the weekly tea party he’s always attended, it’s HIM who feels sad about and pouty about it.

Boothill buys his daughter tons of different hats! They’re always carefully picked and he makes sure she likes them waiting for her approval, but most of the time she wants to just wear his. She doesn’t care she’s drowning in it, it’s the best because it’s Boothill’s hat.

Even though Boothill never mentioned her anything about playing guitar, one day she started to play him a tiny bit of song she learned at school - although clumsily and due to stress, Boothill listened to her and threw her in the air in happiness when she finished - he knew it was your job and couldn’t be more thankful. Once again, he made yet another guitar in his life - this time to finally listen to his little one’s music and teach her many, many other songs they’d later play and sing together.

Oh god, when Boothill’s daughter announced her “boyfriend” she met at daycare, he just stared at her with wide eyes. This is also an instance where he cried that night and you had to calm him down. Later on he insisted to be the one to take her to daycare, and gently threatened the said toddler, “look, stinker. Don’t ya dare GET NEAR ma lil’ angel, or else.” This was his last visit without your supervision. And also, your daughter just laughed at him and left… so yeah, plan failed successfully, I guess?

Mandatory naps with daddy after daycare. Well, Boothill only pretends to sleep when she looks at him - but once she falls asleep on his chest, he looks at her with so much love, gently resting on his chest and stroking her hair, that was just like his and adoring her tiny face, that he thought was the most perfect mix of you and him. Boothill shushes you with his finger quietly, when you ungraciously enter your home. A content smile appears on his lips when you give him and your daughter an apologetic kiss on their foreheads, still hearing her snoozing tenderly.

[fuxuannie]

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ  𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢'𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠. | kenji sato x gender neutral reader

love mail     —      this was an evil thought im so sorry. (experimental) angst :( themes of grieving/loss mentioned

︰꒱꒱ "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, KENJI." he'll mutter to himself, his hands buried deep into his hair as he takes shaky, unstable breaths. this is the 5th time rhis week, it hasn't gotten any easier. it's just so hard to even think at this point. every thought is corrupted with the idea of you, any time he tries to even function his brain thinks of your smile and he breaks. why won't you leave? why do you make his days melancholic when you were once the reason they were the reason they were filled with ineffable joy.

why won't he let go of your memory? why won't he get rid of the empty soda can you left on his table? or the jacket you let him borrow? he knew it wouldn't fit him, after all. but you both also knew he just wanted to keep a part of you. how cruel that it'll be one of the last things that'll ever remind you of him. when your house got destroyed, barely anything was scavenged. the one place that was so full of you was erased, and he had no way to properly grieve that.

baseball is his only distraction, and by then not even that can keep his mind off you for long. his coach begs him to take a leave for as long as he needs, he refuses. if he accepts, he'll have to be alone with himself again. and thats his worst fear. being face to face with his own mind, his very cruel, unforgiving mind. kenji's thoughts were hardly repressible, and only your saccharine presence could silence his racing mind. he's afraid he'll have to live with them preying on his soul; forever victim to his own psyche.

he'll write poems you'll never get to read, sing songs you'll never hear, and say things you'll never get to know. he wishes he did more, but even if so, would that have been enough? could he have truly avoided this longingness for you even if he had more memories? he's not sure. he wishes he had an answer.

one day, he'll think he's okay again. he'll wake up and feel a little more life than yesterday, his mind isn't so enigmatic — and he doesn't feel trapped in his own mental prison. he'll make his bed slowly, but it no longer feels like a chore. he brushes his teeth and fixes his hair, the thought of you coming behind him with a hug doesn't cross his mind. mina instead reminds him he has a meeting this afternoon.

he feels the world has fallen into quiescence, everything is peaceful and he feels like he can breathe again. he takes a step out of his home, and he keeps going forward. kenji will walk to a store, he buys a small coffee, not a medium. you aren't there to ask him for a few sips anyway. the day fades away just as fast as it appeared, welcoming the dark night. for the first time in a while, he doesn't feel as if he's walking endlessly to a destination he doesn't know himself. he arrives somewhere, a tranquil park.

he sits on an empty bench, feeling the cold breeze of january in tokyo kiss his skin. it almost feels like you, he doesn't know how to explain it, but it does. and then he feels. it's complicated, but he just feels his heart squeeze and his throat suddenly forms a lump. he was getting better, wasn't he? so why, why until now — 3 years after your death.. he felt like this? so many years wasted with suppressing his feelings. for once, he will let himself grieve. tomorrow? he's not sure. but he simply hopes he'll be kinder to himself. just as you would have wanted for him. missing you came in waves, after all.

[malfiora]

Good Enough

Bruce probably wasn't meant to hear it, but his heart squeezes all the same. His fingers clutch at his chest and his throat works around the lump suddenly lodged in it.

"I'll have to ask my dad," Dick had said. The words belong to another child, one Bruce has never met. But that voice – its tone, its warmth, its certainty – is Dick. Undeniably, unmistakably Dick. He's talking to one of his teachers (Mr. Mather, he recalls only because he had to deal with Dick's insistence that his biology teacher be called Ms. Sciencer for weeks) and he grins when he spots Bruce stalled by the door. "Oh, speak of the devil."

Bruce stumbles his way through a conversation about Dick's exceptional grades and aptitude for abstract concepts and how he has real potential as a mathlete, but his brain is humming with wordless excitement at the word "dad" and eager to hear it tickle the air again. He floats on that feeling all the way home, even elongating their return to tell Alfred to pull over at that fast food joint Dick likes, the one with the milkshakes.

And then he crashes. Dick disappears into his room to allegedly do homework (Bruce is eighty-five percent sure he's actually hopping onto his computer to IM Barbara Gordon), and with him vanishes the warmth of being considered a father. Left in its wake is a coldness injecting nausea into his gut.

He can't be a – he doesn't know how to – when did Dick even – and why him? The past three years flash by in reverse: Dick dancing through a spray of bullets, tears streaming from Dick's mask as he watched Batman fall from a snapped line just like they did, Dick standing proudly before a mirror in his brand new costume, a gleam of murderous intent staring up at him, a broken boy swallowed up in an EMT's blanket while his world lay shattered at his feet. What has he done? How could he think that drawing this bright kid into his dark roost was a good idea? And now Dick thinks of him as a father figure – it's too late to go back, isn't it?

He isn't John Grayson, will never be, doesn't want to try. He hears the whispers among polite society speculating why he won't adopt Dick, but none of them come close to the truth. It's rooted in fear (inaction always is). Fear that he'll be seen as the fraud he is, and then Dick will leave and regret ever calling him "dad."

He's not even Thomas Wayne, not for lack of trying. His memories of the man are faded around the edges but he knows he devoted himself completely to any and all that he loved: his career, his wife, his son. Thomas Wayne didn't do anything by halves. But Bruce Wayne is constantly torn – one foot planted in civilian domesticity fumbling his way through raising a child, the other firm in Gotham's underbelly hellbent on redeeming the damned while keeping his kid partner safe from the danger that he throws him into in the first place.

"Sir," Alfred calls, his voice soft. "If you're done drilling a hole through the carpet with your eyes, I've put tea on."

Bruce blinks and looks up at Alfred. "Tea sounds great, Alfred."

He plods after Alfred and into the tearoom. Alfred deftly sets out cups, saucers, and bowls of cream and sugar before pouring the fresh brew. Bruce murmurs a "thanks" before sipping his. Alfred lowers himself into the seat opposite his at the small table.

"Master Dick seems to be doing well at the Academy," Alfred says. "I can't imagine that that caused your dour mood."

Those who call Batman the world's greatest detective just haven't met Alfred. "Dick called me 'dad' today," he explains calmly. "Not to my face. I overheard him say it to his teacher."

Alfred hums. "Could mean nothing."

That's...true. Dick may have used the term as shorthand. "Dad" is easier to say than "legal guardian" and more specific and personal than "Bruce." It could have been a Freudian slip, Dick's mind supplying him with a cognitive shortcut subconsciously. Bruce sets his tea down and stares into the liquid.

"Or," Alfred presses on (Bruce hates the way his heart lifts a little), "he is starting to see you – us – as his family." Alfred sips and watches him.

"That's what I'm afraid of," he admits after a while. "Alfred, I'm not – Dick deserves so much better than –"

When it's clear that Bruce won't finish the sentence, Alfred clears his throat gently. "If I may, I'd like to share a secret with you." Bruce nods. "There was a time that I considered leaving you."

Bruce's eyes widen. "What?"

Alfred nods. "I thought that after your parents, I was the last person who should raise a child, especially one who needed his world put back together. Surely the Kanes would have made better surrogates. Perhaps a foster if a suitable one could be found." He smirked. "I almost considered the Queens before that awful accident."

The blood is rushing in Bruce's ears. Alfred, his most loyal and longest friend, had wanted to leave him? "What changed?"

Alfred takes another sip, contemplates. "I don't think anything has. Everyday I wonder if I made the right choice. If I am being selfish staying in your life simply because I love you too much to let you go."

Again, Bruce's chest squeezes. Alfred, his Alfred, has the exact same fear. That somehow he'll fail his charge, will lose him. And all this time, Bruce has never considered going anywhere, can't imagine his life without Alfred in it. Maybe – is that how Dick feels? That Bruce is his? God, if that's true then...then Bruce as he is just has to be good enough. Because he's not going to let Dick go.

"My son," he says, testing the word. It tastes sweeter than the tea on his tongue.

[crowleys-bentley-and-plants]

Forgive Me

I’m sorry for the words I left unsaid

For the silence that bloomed in their stead

I am the autumn leaves that promised to stay green

But turned to gold and crimson

And fell quietly to the ground

Forgive me, for I am the sea, 

Sometimes gentle, sometimes raging, 

My tides pulling you close then casting you away 

From me 

Again

And again

I am the unfinished letter, the ink smudged by hesitation

The words trembling on the edge of honesty

But never finding their way to my lips

I am the shadow that followed you

Uninvited

Lingering where I should have shone

I'm trapped in the spaces between your steps,

A silent witness to paths never taken

A reminder of moments left unexplored

I am the clock that ticked too slowly, 

Then too fast 

Robbing us of moments we thought were endless

But were really only whispers

Fading like the memories we chase and forget

I am a broken compass

Promising direction but spinning aimlessly

Lost in its own confusion

Guided by the chaos of its own design

I am the unstruck match

Brimming with unrealised potential 

A warmth that never kindled into flame

I am the poet fumbling for the right words, 

The artist with colours but no canvas, 

The singer with a song caught in their throat

So forgive me for the love I offered in fragments,

For the heart that beat in uneven rhythms,

For the touch that sometimes felt like a caress,

Other times like a ghost passing through

Forgive me for the gaps where your trust should have been,

For the space I filled with absence

For the hesitations that wove distance between us

Forgive me for the moments when I was not enough

For the way I let my uncertainties

Wipe clean the promises written in the sand

Forgive me for all I was and all I could not be

I am trying with every breath

And for that, I hope, you can find it in you to

Forgive me

Just once more

I promise this will be the final time I ask

-

im gonna be honest with you. i hate it. idk. ive been rewriting this poem for a week now and idk maybe one of the first versions was better but it's lost now. so ive decided to post this so that i wont go crazy editing the shit out of it lol

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated💙

Read also on ao3:

bonjourr @crowleys-hips @bearthewhipsandscornsoftime @fearandhatred @ghostsparrow @eybefioro @seven-stars-in-his-palm @ficreader500 @foolishlovers @sabotage-on-mercury @crowleys-curl @crowleybrekkers @goodomensafterdark @notagoodlad @lickthecowhappy @goodoldfashionednightingale @spookyllamatree @wanderer-main @ineffabildaddy @wibbly-wobbly-blog @marika-misc @captainblou @weasleywrinkles @chaoticgayomens @amagnificentobsession @thebookshoparoundthecorner @quintessentiallychemical

let me know if you want to be added or removed

[bitterbutblue]

kokomi my love

when she loved me ☆ kokomi x reader

~ the amount of sad fucking relationship reels i got last night made me sad so now im projecting fuck u isntagram reels algorithm u made me CRY AT NIGHT

inspired by twenty five twenty one, 500 days of summer, u know the drill. if u guys want a full twenty five twenty one inspired long fic (with chapters) i am also down to write one.. i will cry writing it though

song: when she loved me - lyn lapid ~

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

The summer she fell for you, she wishes to never think about again. Whenever a specific song comes on, she wants nothing more than to go back in time but also wants to destroy the very stereo the music is playing from. She finds herself haunted by her own movements, how they mimic yours and how she still thinks about what you would do before she does anything.

"Don't throw it-"

Laughter rang through the empty violet forests as you threw your head back, uncontrolled and raw. She found herself smiling at the sight of you, so loose and so happy. She couldn't help the laughter that began bubbling out of her own lips as she covered her mouth with her hand, doubling over. She didn't know why she's laughing so hard, she didn't know what was so funny but seeing you so unbridled filled her with giddy she hasn't felt since she was a child.

"That was ridiculous." She giggled and the way you grinned at her had her smile softening- the previous laughter dying on her lips as she feels an overwhelming wave washing over her. It felt like a lyric of a song she doesn't know the tune of, but it's a lyric she can hum from the beats of her heart. It felt like a way back to a home she has not yet entered, it felt like you. You finally composed yourself, running a hand through your hair as the beam of moonlight lit you up like an angel in the night.

"Nothing wrong with that, right?"

You walk up to her, picking up the jacket that had been laid on the ground, used as a blanket to sit on and dusted it off. You wrapped it around Kokomi, buttoning it up snuggly for her as she fit her arms through the oversized sleeves of your jacket, the warmth from the jacket and heart causing her to overheat from an overwhelming feeling.

She has that moment in a picture frame in her heart, like a photo album that had been abandoned and recently found, still dusty but holds a fortune of memories that warm you up. Except this photo album was cold, desolate. Found in a junkyard, memories of strangers and who they once were.

"Nothing wrong with that."

It's a sickening feeling in her gut, churning and spinning and she orders for Gorou to turn off the damn stereo as quickly as possible. He just obliges, not saying anything. She throws down her quill, shaking away whatever memories she has of you. Her eyes dart over her desk, with papers once organised but now strewn all over the place, a lingering memory of the evening you tidied her desk for her hits her hard and fast before suddenly fading into what it was- the past.

"You can't live like this."

A soft voice echoed through the chambers of her desk- she looked up, bleary eyed and you just sigh. You walked up to her, wrapping your arms around her from behind her chair as she leaned into your touch, visibly exhausted. Her shoulders sagged downward, her head resting against your chest as she let out a breath she didn't realise she was holding in.

"I'm doing just fine."

"Really?"

You nestled your head on top of hers as you took one of her hands into your own, interlacing your fingers together.

"It's late. Let's go home?"

''I can't." She mumbles, eyes closing as exhaustion finally settles in between her bones, filling themselves in every crevice and every little nook and cranny of her body.

"Yes you can, darling." You whispered, squeezing her hand softly "They can't have their leader collapsing on them from exhaustion, can they now?"

Like a siren's song, she found herself drawn to your voice. She couldn't even stop herself from nodding as she moved subconsciously, her body just following the sound of your voice as you led her out of her office.

The next morning, she found her office tidied. Her papers organised into a neat stack with sticky notes labelling which papers are which. She picked up the note on her desk and she felt herself grinning ear to ear as she readthe contents on the paper.

Good morning, my love! I organised your desk for you, hope that's okay. If you need anything just text me, love youuu <3

Her desk has been a mess since that day. She had no energy in her to organise her notes or to sort her files. She finds it too difficult to do now, her lack of energy every day being too much. Getting out of bed is hard enough, and she's really not in the mood to have to clean everything when she function with it being a mess just fine (albeit a little harder to get through).

She hasn't had the time or energy to go home, to take the walk down the desolate and empty streets just scares her now with the build up of what has happened. She finds herself taking another way, a route where she won't have to relive the worst of it all.

"Why?"

The broken expression on your face had her swallowing in guilt.

"I'm sorry."

"You say that every time-"

You turned away, taking a shaky breath in as you tried to calm yourself down and Kokomi just stands there like a coward.

"This is exhausting, Kokomi."

She looked down, fidgeting with her fingers as she drops her work bag onto a chair, unsure if she should approach you or not.

She should've approached you that night.

You instead turned around angrily, facing her again and the pained look in your eyes had her looking away now because it ate her alive, knowing that she caused you this much pain.

"Couldn't you just let me know earlier? You keep disappearing on me, I keep worrying about if you died out there or not-"

"I will-"

"You said that last time."

She looked down.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that."

She found herself not going to bed that night, sitting at the kitchen table as she listened to your muffled sobs through the door.

When Gorou tells her it's late, she just nods. The last thing she needs is to lie in an empty bed and feel the coldness of the night wrap its arms around her as an attempt to comfort her or to soothe the once-sharp pain, now faded into a dull thud with each thump of the heart. When she sleeps, she tucks her head into her arms, the hard wood digging into her elbows but the minorly uncomfortable pain is better than having to be overly consumed with her thoughts in the comforts of a bed.

She wakes up to a cup of tea in front of her and for a minute her heart leaps until she's hit with reality once more. She sees Gorou's handwriting and just wishes it was yours for a split second.

Kokomi, take care.

She screwed her eyes shut as she took a deep breath in, refusing to let you see the tears behind her eyes. You just stood opposite her, looking down at your shoes as tears fell down from your face and onto the ground.

"Was this my doing?"

The silence was broken by her shaky question as she finally brings herself to look up at you and she can feel her chest caving in again at the sight of you.

"It's not your fault."

Your voice was strained, as if you were using every atom in your body to try to make yourself sound as put together as possible.

"We've just grown so apart with all that's happened."

She has to stop herself from shaking, the entire world seems to be trembling until she realised it was just her.

"I don't want to say who's right or wrong. There isn't a right or wrong."

The evening chill that once held memories of cuddling under the stars is now just a sharp pierce through her skin, a blade running itself through each crevice of her beating and bleeding heart.

"We're making things difficult by blaming each other."

She bit down on her lower lip, trying to hold in the sob.

"You and I, we still care a lot for each other."

The words in her chest build up like word vomit.

"Did we have to come to this?" She whispered

"We were already coming to this."

She gasped when she felt a tug on her jacket, looking to see you buttoning up her jacket once more- your eyes filled with unshed tears as your trembling hands slowly slid each button through slit. A shaky gasp is let out as you tried not to sob, but it comes out choked as a tear falls and she couldn't stop herself. The shatter of her heart rang through the night as she feels the tear fall down her face, hot- burning a mark on her skin. She bit down on her lower lip once more, trying to stifle the sob but it still comes out and hearing your silent cries only made it harder for her to hold it in.

The dam breaks fully when she feels you pull her into a tight hug, and she knows this is the last time she'll feel your arms around hers like this so she holds on tight. The dam breaks and she sobs, loud and messy. The way you trembled had her feeling like she was going to shatter any minute. She held you as close as she could, arms tightening around your waist and hoping that maybe for the last time you two could just become one again.

"Let's not put ourselves through this again." You said softly, and she could feel your tears seep through her jacket- the jacket you buttoned for the last time.

She could only nod as she lets out a loud sob for the last time, and maybe the last thing you remember of her is the way she cries.

"Goodbye, Kokomi."

[littlemissthunderstorms]

dance as if somebody’s watching, cause they are. (pt.2)

alex turner x reader

mostly fluff! i feel like this is soo disappointing compared to the first part. 😭 i meant for something cooler to happen but i quite literally lost my train of thought and couldn’t come up with anything!! im sorry 😣

———

your head swirled as your eyes peeled open, squinting at the daylight cutting through the curtains like knifes.

head pounding and vision blurry, you slowly looked around the room, a bit confused. the room was spacious, books and plaques on shelves, sleek modern 70’s chairs in the corner, and maroon throw pillows scattered by the end of the bed.

your sight cleared a bit as you rubbed your eyes, gaze redirecting to the nightstand on the other side of the bed, where atop a journal sat a name tag reading ALEXANDER, HEAD DIRECTOR.

of course. you were in alex’s room. you thought hard, trying to recall a string of events from the previous night that would cause you to end up here. your memory was cloudy. you remembered getting ready, talking to a few friends but your memory stuttered, the film reel in your mind missing pieces and frames.

you remembered sitting at the bar, was someone there? a guy, you thought. puzzle pieces clicked together. the blonde guy. you couldn’t remember what kind of exchange you’d had, but you remembered dancing with alex later on.

you ran a hand through your messy hair. ok. you were dancing with alex. not for long though. then what? didn’t you leave? that’s when the film reel stopped, leaving your memory hazy and faded.

your attention quickly redirected to the door when you heard the sound of a keycard beeping on the other side. the door opened, gentle brown eyes meeting yours as alex stepped through. his hair was fluffier today, far different from his usual slicked back look. alex tucked the sleeves up on his navy button down as he made his way over to you, heeled boots clacking on the floor.

“oh thank goodness. you’re awake. how are you feeling?” he gently brushed a loose strand of hair out of your eyes. you gazed up at him, brows furrowed. “i-i don’t know. i don’t know what happened.” you panicked, the idea of you not having control over your memories of the night before making you anxious.

alex nodded and stroked your hair softly in attempts to soothe you. “there was a guy at the bar that slipped something into your drink.” the boy sighed. “i’m so sorry. i know you probably can’t remember much but when i was walking you to go back to your room, you passed out. i’m so sorry. are you feeling any better?”

“i don’t know. i feel dizzy and my head hurts.” you frowned, lip quivering softly. alex nodded, grabbing the ibuprofen from his nightstand as well as a cup of water. “here, take this hon, it’ll help.” he smiled sweetly at you, eyes tinted with sorrow.

you quickly took the ibuprofen and put the water down, breath shaky as tears started pouring down your cheeks. you still felt all shaken from what had happened, your anxiety at a peak. alex squeezed your hand and sat on the bed next to you, pulling you into a tight hug that soothed your mind a bit and made your heart melt. “oh honey, i know i’m so sorry.” he whispered. your anxiety simmered down a bit as he held you, still softly running his fingers through your hair.

alex could feel your heart beating fast against his chest and his own heart broke for you. he was mad at himself that he hadn’t stopped the situation from unfolding, even though it wasn’t his fault. he’d had a bad feeling about the man from the start, dismissing his gut feeling as twinges of jealousy that he’d previously denied.

“you’re okay now. i promise you alright? i’m here with you. security got the guy there’s nothing you need to worry about. wasn’t gonna let him lay a finger on you.” alex whispered. you sighed, nodding as a tear rolled down your cheek and onto alex’s shirt.

alex pulled away slightly, eyes pooling with adoration and twinkling with the same capacity of the stars you’d spot in the sky at night. you clung to the boy, your love for him trickling down your cheeks. you took a deep breath. alex softly wiped your tears with his thumbs, heart fluttering as he bit his lip.

he cupped your face with both of his hands, his face etched with care and concern. “again, i’m so so sorry. i’m so mad at myself for not stopping him earlier, i wish i would’ve known. i love you so much, you don’t deserve this. i’ll take such good care of you i promise-“ the boy paused, face twisting in confusion. “why are you smiling?”

you grinned, eyes sparkling. “you love me?”

alex’s eyes lit up, not realizing he’d let it slip. your heart pounded, knowing the answer from his eyes alone before he’d even said anything else. “of course i love you!” he grinned, heart swelling with joy. he was about to say something else when you cut him off, pressing your lips to his in a passionate kiss.

he eagerly kissed you back, returning his hand to tangle in your hair and hold you closer as his other hand rested on your waist. his lips were warm as he kissed you tenderly. he gently broke the kiss to press soft kisses on the corners of your lips and up your cheek, gently kissing your eyelids.

you sighed, eyes fluttering shut. you felt your anxieties and worries start to fizzle away as he kissed you with such love and care, knowing you’d be okay. he pulled away slowly, looking into your eyes as he cupped your face. you smiled up at the boy with twinkly eyes.

“for the record i love you too. lots”

———

hope u liked!! sorry this is so short #queenofshortalexficstbh

in the beginning it was supposed to be more horror based because i always imagined tbhc to have a unsettling vibe to it but i couldn’t come up with any ideas 😣

[blinkycravesviolence]

cringetober day 16!! i know i just posted mesmerizer lost media yesterday but i've been planning this for a good bit lol

0 Notes

☢️ radithorisms Follow

so 2024's the year of lostwave right? so many songs have been found this year alone n shit. and with stacy being found i feel like i should be open about something.

okay so like. there's this one song i listened to in 2010 that i feel like was intensely formative to my teenage years. and i can't find it. TRUST ME i tried but it's just not there. it's like it never existed. and it sucks cause despite the contents of the song, it comforted me through the darkest moments of my life. and jt always found me. so why can't i find it.

oh right i need to give you guys info on the song, right?

so i don't really remember much about the lyrics, mainly cause it (the song's named mesmerizer btw) wasn't translated when i saw it BUT i remember the music video.

so the music video is about miku and teto (did i mention they sang the song??? im sorry this is so disorganized lol) in this like. kids show environment?? they're dancing n shit in Mysterious Plains it's weird. anyways the ENTIRE TIME teto's been making signs for help, from ASL to morse code. yeah that's meant to imply they are kidnapped. so there's this segment where they get like. hypnotized??? miku's eyes fade to black and teto's ALMOST do but then they cut away. then everything SEEMS normal but miku's limbs start being funny and it's probably a sign of the hypnosis or something and teto's freaking out a bit and then... i.... i forgot the final fucking chorus it's so over.

oh and they wore these costumes - i drew em from memory

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 yurisoldierno39 Follow

miranda my beloved mutual miranda. where the fuck is neru

☢️ radithorisms Follow

you say that as a bit but people did joke about neru being in the song. it got unfunny fast though

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 yurisoldierno39 Follow

oh damn. i don't think i know what ur talking abt though. sad!

🔔 the-bellssss Follow

hey wait wasn't mesmerizer that one song that made a guy careen off a cliff cause he listened to it and it fogged his brain up so bad he didn't pay attention to the road?

☢️ radithorisms Follow

what

#no that cant be it helped me it helped me it helped me it

16 Notes

☢️ radithorisms Follow

update on the mesmerizer situation

so i've been heeding some of your advice, i've been looking on niconico and i found a clip!!! lets gooo

i feel like it's finally coming around now. it's coming back to me. it's warm embrace hugging me. it's gonna be alright. i think.

#mesmerizer #lostwave #lost media #i cant help but feel like it's egging me on tho

2 Notes

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 yurisoldierno39 Follow

man i love miranda n all but she's been talking about nothing but that mesmerizer song ever since she found that clip.

#it's so hard to talk to her man #like i get it the song is important to you but #i feel like you care more about it than me :/

0 Notes

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 yurisoldierno39 Follow

☢️ radithorisms asked:

i saw your post, tammy. it's sad you think of it like that. you'll see the light soon though, my love.

im sure of it

YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN??

#wait. #''love''? 😳

4 Notes

🔔 the-bellssss Follow

the fuck is going on with my mutuals man

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 yurisoldierno39 Follow

miranda sent me a cryptic ask where she called me love

🔔 the-bellssss Follow

good 4 u??? love wins i guess

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 yurisoldierno39 Follow

love wins

🔔 the-bellssss Follow

love wins

☢️ radithorisms Follow

love wins

100 Notes

☢️ radithorisms Follow

i found it i found it ifounditifound it i found it idounfitifounditiFOUNDITIFUONDITIFOHNDITOUFODUNITJFOUNDITIFOUNITIFOUNDITIFKJNFIFOUNFITIFKUNGIT

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 yurisoldierno39 Follow

are you ok?? answer my text

🔔 the-bellssss Follow

tammy and miranda have both been awfully silent...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 yurisoldierno39 Follow

hey nell!! i just came back from talking to miranda. positive she's just doing a bit.

🔔 the-bellssss Follow

oh shit hey tammy

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 yurisoldierno39 Follow

can you watch this for me? thx

🔔 the-bellssss Follow

okay...?

202 Notes

☢️ radithorisms Follow

i remember the final chorus now.

mid-lyric, something snaps within miku. her eyes go into a pitch black, her mouth eternally agape, a tongue sticking out, and she's stuck doing the same jerky movements. she's mesmerized, whatever was left in her gone forever. teto's horrified, grieving even, miku might as well be dead after all. but i never cared about what was happening on the sides of the screen. i was transfixed by what was on the center. the infamous 13-sided star literally EVERYWHERE in the music video unveiled itself to be a spiral. and i couldn't keep my eyes off it. the overstimulation of the song all melting together, telling me to let go, give in, fall into the rhythm, the beat, the instruments, the vocals.... i guess all those replays must have conditioned me.

it's all ok now though.

everything will be.

i just need to let her see.

i found the video after all. what's love for if you keep them away from the light? i'll see you soon, tammy. <3

[fakesimp]

CONGRATS ON 1K 🙉🙉 im here to haunt you again, ur works never fail to amaze me and i always find myself going back to read them (≡^∇^≡)

luca knshr pls 🙏 angst to fluff? whtver is fine w u, i will wait ˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙

-"I promised I won't let you go, but I did, will you give me one more chance to hold you again?", Falling for you would be the last time I fall in Love-

again, congrats on 1k, may u gain more followers, may the shurnip bless you, amen, mwah

ଘ(੭ ᐛ )━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

Chances, With Luca Kaneshiro

Warning !

Hurt/Comfort ; Established Relationship

A/n !

Sankyuuu ! I hope you enjoy this !

1k Followers Event Prompts !

"I promise I won't let you go, but I did. will you give me one more chance to hold you again?"

Falling for you would be the last time I fall in Love

➶◜◝➴

"I promise I'll never let you go"

"I Love you babe, so much"

He said, but what happened to that now? Didn't he promise he won't let you go, he promised.

You watched him turning his back towards you, walking away as you stood on the spot, shedding tears. Your hand turned into fist, you turned away and walked away from where you stood, accepting reality.

He is a Mafia after all, he is busy, and his work involves killing, blood bath. Something that is very dangerous for someone like you to be around him, but you loved him for the way he is.

You loved the way he smiled so widely at you, the way his eyes sparkled when he sees you. The way he picked you up with his strong arms as he swings around while holding you in his arms, laughing together with you.

Painful.

It hurts so bad when you remember the memories you made together with him, only for it to shatter when he said he wanted to break up, you couldn't bring yourself to ask why, you couldn't bring yourself to ask him the reason why he wanted to break up with you when everything was okay.

You could only walk away as you try to relieve the pain.

. . .

that was months ago, and today here you are, doing your daily activities in your apartment, you looked over at the clock, it is 12 am. You sighed, how fast the time moves as you started to live on your own. You were just about to turn off your laptop until you heard a knock on your door, you started to get suspicious about it. Who the hell would come over at your apartment at 12 am?

You hesitantly approached the door, you didn't open it. You just peeked through the peek hole on your door, only for you to see a familiar blonde haired male behind the door.

Your eyes widen, you wanted to open the door but you're growing hesitant the longer you stayed behind the door, your hand slowly reaching out to the door handle but you immediately froze when you heard his voice.

"I know you're there," He said, but he sounded so, tired? You decided to stay quiet, staring down at the door handle. "It's okay if you don't want to open the door, i'll just, talk behind the door." He took a deep breath, you heard a shoe click closer to the door.

You were guessing he's now literally closer than before, "..I'm sorry" the first thing he said, making your breath hitched slightly when you heard how hurt he sounded, "I, ..promised I won't let you go.." he continued, you slowly rest your head on the door, "But I did.." you can hear him stutter out a sigh. "If I may be foolish," there was a long pause, making your heart beats faster each seconds pass

You waited for him to continue, "..If I may.. Will you, give me one more chance.. to, hold you again?" He said. You waited, again, but he didn't say anything else. You then heard a shoe click again, "..Ah, I, shouldn't have been that hopeful huh.." He whispered, "I'm sorry.." he apologized then, the next second you heard his shoes clicking away from your door, fading away, slowly disappearing.

You wanted to run, your guts telling you to run to him. When he' still close, and you did, you abruptly opened your apartment door, you ran out barefoot. Chasing your Beloved Mafia. Beloved Golden retriever.

You ran as fast as you could, you didn't care about your foot hurting by this point. You just have to catch up to him before it's too late, and you almost lost him again. You saw him entering the car,

"LUCA!"

The way he immediately whips his head around to you, You couldn't miss how hurt he looked a second ago, his eyes sparkled ever so slightly when he sees you. You stopped running, catching your breath.

But before you could register anything, you heard footsteps coming towards you so fast, and the next second you are engulfed into someone's arms, and who else would it be none other than Luca himself.

Familiar warmth, you reciprocated his hug, tight. You can feel his body slightly trembled as he hugged you, "I'm sorry.." He whispered as he nuzzle his face at the crook of your neck. "Will you forgive me?" You immediately nod your head as you put your hand on his head, running your hand through his blonde hair locks.

"Yes, Luca. I forgive you, I'm sorry too" You apologized, he slowly leaned away from you, putting his hand on your cheek, he stared into your eyes lovingly, him trying so hard not to cry on the spot, he leaned his face close to you, before he kissed you, he whispered,

"Falling for you, would be the last time I fall in Love, My heart belongs to you, and to you only.

I Love you, so much.."

©fakesimp . 2023

A/n !

There we go ! Another one down ! Hope you enjoy this !

( 4/10 )

[itty-bitty-sunshine]

im curious, how did perkeo become immortal? you say theyre the dont age dont die type but theyve still aged to the point of an average adult. so was there a point where they became immortal? were they born immortal but still aged to the point where they seemed like the average human then stopped?

this is a bit more morbid but im curious about this too

how severe can injuries get if they cant die? how does their body handle situations where the average person would bleed out? would they heal faster? would they just have infinite blood? what if they got into a coma? would they ever wake up? or is it just not possible? how would they heal from injuries that would make it impossible for the average person to come back?

if youre not willing to answer the second stuff thats fine, im just really curious

They do not remember

The earliest memory they have is on the kingdom, and they were already a grown person by then

They remember kneeling, the agreement made with the king

They remember tests, and them stopping with lack of results

They remember doing their job afterwards, and the years that went on as they remained the same

They remember making people smile and laugh and how they cherished that feeling more than anything

That does not mean they never had a family, though

Morbid details under cut

Very. They had to crawl their way out of things no human could even dream of surviving, things no one should have survived — or even lived enough through it as it happened

They can still get dizzy, they can still faint, things can go to black, but eventually their brain will pull them back awake again. Die, but come back

The wound would close, but they can bleed out. They can feel the dizziness, the cold, the pain. If severe enough, they could pass out — either until the wound closes or until their brain decides it gotta keep fighting still. That said, they very likely could deal with a stab wound without passing out if outside factors are not included (if anything, they would just be annoyed)

Sewing a wound would likely make it close faster than leaving it alone

Their heart would always start beating again even after stopping, so I guess you could say they have infinite blood?

They would wake up from a coma I'm pretty sure (how long it would take would depend on the cause), unless it was like, medically induced (which would mean constant upkeep to keep em like that) because yk. Strong drugs

They do heal from injuries that would be impossible for a normal person to survive. Their body puts itself back together – and when it can't, it just makes a new part to compensate

So, for example: let's say they get decapitated. They could put the head back on the neck, and the body would work to glue the two together again

Now, let's say they lost a leg and for some reason could not try to put the leg back in place: then the body would make a new leg. It would take a lot longer, and be infinitely more painful, but it would be back in place one way or another

(Now for what happens to the lost limb — idk it probably rots as the body regens. They are already immortal, might as well throw some nonsense in the mix)

How can they grab their own head and put it back? Idk that's too much to keep track of. Maybe magic who knows

Also! Burned skin will heal and fade, take that was you will

Essentially I would say it's just kind of nightmarish but they do heal pretty fast (how fast? Idk, but pretty fast), and that they would also be pretty used to some level of pain rn

[9w1ft]

welcome to new york // “how'd we end up on the floor, anyway?" you say “your roommate's cheap-ass screw-top rosé, that's how" // rosé flowing with your chosen family // girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby // and i chose you // i hope i never lose you // that’s the kind of heartbreak time could never mend // the lights are so bright but they never blind me // the fast times the bright lights // im lost in the lights // we were shaking blind and hazy // american glory faded before me // somewhere in the haze got the sense i’d been betrayed // they whisper in the hallway she’s a bad bad girl // and it took you five whole minutes to pack us up and leave me with it holdin' all this love out here in the hall // i couldn’t turn things around (you never turned things around) // you were standing hollow eyed in the hallway carnations you had thought were roses that’s us // running through rose thorns i saw the scoreboard and ran for my life // i lost you the one i was dancing with in new york, no shoes, looked up at the sky and it was maroon // there’s nothing like this, miss americana and the heartbreak prince // i packed my bags left cornelia street before you even knew i was gone // maybe i stormed out of every single room in this town // my winless fight this has frozen my ground // soldier down on that icy ground looked up at me with honor and truth // it’s like i’m wasting your honor // broken and blue so i called off the troops, that was the night i nearly lost you

i awake with your memory over me that’s a real fucking legacy to leave // i woke up just in time now i wake up by your side // there’s no morning glory in this war it wasn’t fair // then you called showed your hand turned around before i hit the tunnel sat on the roof you and i, i hope i never lose you // hold on to the memories they will hold onto you and i will hold on to you // and now the storm is coming // windows boarded up after the storm // i look through the windows of this love even though we boarded them up // i thought the plane was going down how’d you turn it right around // my baby’s fly like a jet stream // this love is worth the fight // it’s a war it’s the goddamn fight of my life // and i know this is a fight that some day we’re gonna win // we never painted by the numbers // we’re so sad we paint the town blue // you paint dreamscapes // were you standing in the hallway with a big cake happy birthday did i paint your blues skies the darkest grey // grey november // hey december // don’t want no other shade of blue but you // my hearts been borrowed and yours has been blue, alls well that ends well to end up with you // family that i chose // barefoot in the wildest winter // a red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground // im setting off but not without my muse, no not without you // candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor, you and me from the night before, don’t read the last page but i stay when you’re lost and i’m scared and you’re turning away i want your midnights but i’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on new year’s day

[dollya-robinprotector]

dollyaaaaa ur art is so nice n clean always!! im wondering how u draw so quickly n consistently? bow much time does it take for u to draw stuff ö i love seeing ur art pop up on the tl always, its so inspiring!! have a great rest of ur day >:333

Not gonna lie, I usually avoid the ask related to my drawing time or process. I cannot count how many asks I have received on this same matter, but...

Well, I should clarify one thing: I am not uncomfortable answering these ask. I answer some if I can. I just don't know how to answer most of them. English isn't my first language so even if I want to write a tutorial it's just gonna be... "messy" I think? Also, I have this love-hate feeling when it comes to drawing fast.

As you can see I draw almost daily. To answer asks, to present my own ideas,... there are two reasons for my fast-drawing skill:

I think way too much. My trains of thought often crash onto each other and my brain is just purely chaotic, to the point I'm overloaded and stop thinking. That's not good. So before things get complicated or fade to nothingness I would draw them out. it's how I preserve my ideas, keep my sanity intact, and not shut down from thinking.

It's my practice. I grew up knowing practice makes perfect, so I kinda draw to train my muscle memory. A kind of habit as an artist. I remember coming across an interview with BL artist Hotoku and I saw their comment on how to get through a "slump":

and it was at that moment I realized there's nothing more important than to draw when you are an artist. A "slump" (or artblock, etc...) is a disaster for all art creators, so I choose to prevent and get out of it simply by drawing more.

I remember I doubted Hotoku's answer for some time, but now I understand them perfectly. I, too, love and think about drawing all the time, almost that I don't want to do anything else besides drawing. It's complicated to describe, but I think I gaslighted myself successfully into a drawing maniac.

After all, all that I'm capable of is drawing. If it's not for my artworks, I'd be nothing. I can not satisfy my parents, my coworkers, my senpais, or even myself, so at least seeing some strangers on the internet appreciate my drawing warms me up inside I think, ehe~

As for how long it takes me to draw, it depends. Some simple sketches to answer asks took from a few minutes to maybe some good hours. The asks keep coming and I'm delighted to it, but the most I can do is answer 5 - 6 of them a day, usually, I could only do 3 - 4 or least, so I have to admit and apologize because I can not answer everything sent to my ask box. I do the most I can. The asks are a huge part of my creative inspiration and mental comfort, so I always give them my best. Thanks for sending me these asks everyone~

I called off my work today and shut down all the notifications from my boss, so maybe I'll rest more. But I would get back to draw as soon as I can.

[heartache-otbs]

daylight - lrh (songfic)

an: this song is stuck in my head and i figured it'd be an ouchie fic so im sorry

summary: songfic, daylight by maroon 5 (first verse / chorus)

pairing: luke hemmings x reader

warnings: angst maybe? it's sad.

word count: 767

Here I am waiting, I have to leave soon. Why am I holding on?

Luke lays under the cool silk sheets, your body close to his as he lightly caresses your face under the moonlight. He can't sleep.

He hasn't been able to sleep for weeks. He's been stressing about going off on tour, without you. He loved his job, he loved travelling the world and he loved his fans.

But he also hates his job, because it takes him away from you.

Tomorrow is the day he has to leave, you had fallen asleep pretty early, tired from helping him back and prepare. So Luke had been staring at you for hours, memorizing what your face looked like and touching every square inch of skin he could, trying to hold on to you.

We knew this day would come, we knew it all along. How did it come so fast?

Luke doesn't know why he's desperately trying to hold onto you when this day was inevitable, how could he be so upset when this day had been coming for months? Shouldn't have he accepted it by now?

He thought it was just yesterday that he came home to you, announcing that he could finally go back on tour after the pandemic. How happy you two were and how proud you were of Luke. There was so much love and happiness in that moment, yet that memory in Luke's mind has faded into a blue hue of hidden regret.

It's too soon. Luke begins having second thoughts. I can't leave.

This is our last night, but it's late. And I'm trying not to sleep. Because I know when I wake, I will have to slip away.

Luke has hit the point of exhaustion, he can barely keep his eyes open but he refuses to go to sleep. The moment he wakes up he has to get in the car and get on the road, you couldn't take him because you had a school priority that you couldn't get out of.

"That's okay," Luke had sighed when you told him that you wouldn't be able to see him off "you need to do what ya need to do YN"

Inside he was torn to shreds, knowing he couldn't kiss you at the gate made him not want to go through it.

So Luke kisses you now, soft kisses all over your face while you sleep, his soft lips lingering on your warm skin every few seconds as he makes sure to kiss every inch.

And when the daylight comes I'll have to go, but tonight I'm gonna hold you so close. Because in daylight we'll be on our own. But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close.

You actually cried so much before bed. Once Luke got in the shower, you lost it. You were in such hysterics that Luke heard you from the bathroom and came out to comfort you, tears escaping his face as well.

As you held each other, Luke kept promising that he was never going to let you go. That he'd never let anything come between the two of you, that he'd hold you forever if he needed to. He made a slight joke that he wouldn't go if it made you stop crying.

Was it really a joke though?

What the big thing was about the next day, was that you two had never necessarily been separated for each other for a long period of time. You two had gotten together right before the pandemic started, so you spent all of your time at each other's houses. Moved in together pretty quickly, he hadn't gone anywhere for work and if he did you went with him, because of the pandemic you had online school.

But now with societal normalities back in place, you and Luke had to be separated from each other. Something that you both would have to learn how to deal with.

You two really didn't know how to exist without the other one on hand, some would say it was an unhealthy codependency but you and Luke were just happy.

What would you even do without Luke? It'd be so quiet. So empty. You'd no longer have his comfort coming back from class. No more making pancakes for him on Saturday mornings. Your routine will be all out of sorts, what will make up for it?

You tried not to think about it once it crossed your mind, instead, you let Luke hold you as you drifted off, sinking into the last night you had him next to you, dreading the daylight.

[haemosexuality]

memories i have of being a child and a lesbian:

-first week of 3rd grade, i walked in class and thought "ok i need to pick a boy to have a crush on this year". i thought that was just what you did. picked one bc i thought he had a cool haircut, proceeded to never have a conversation w him

-thinking "girls are naturally so much prettier than boys. this is common knowledge"

-being really jealous of the Cool Girl in my 4th grade class that was One Of The Boys. she played football with them. she sat really relaxed in chairs. she doesnt care about being pretty. isnt that just so cool? starts consciously trying to imitate her. also, even before that i always made sure to INSIST that my favorite color was blue and i did NOT like pink!!!!

-playing barbies with my cool, older cousin (she mustve been like 11? 12? i was around 8). her barbie was a mess because she had just broken up with her other barbie. i was confused. she explained to me what lesbians were (i knew men could be gay, but not women). immediately after that every single doll i had was a lesbian in a relationship. after figuring that it was probably a bit weird i was so obsessed with making my dolls lesbians, i came to the conclusion i would "probably like girls when i grow up". decided to tell my other, deeply religious cousin about this. she went "WHAT" and i went "HAHA JUST KIDDING IT WAS A JOKE" and never thought about it again

-a year later me and the deeply religious cousin were making ever after high dolls fuck. i was the one that came up w that idea (i also didnt know women could have sex at that point, i thought i had invented lesbian sex) and this haunted me for years bc i thought that that cousin had become homophobic after we grew up. recently found out shes also gay, good for her

-being just Really obsessed with marceline from adventure time for some reason. whenever i saw her on tv my heart would beat really really fast. wonder whats up w that 🤔

-being grounded for like, 5 months when i was 10 because my mom found out i was watching youtube videos from a lesbian couple. and also some videos with sex jokes. i wish i remembered that the lesbians channel was so bad

-i also watched lubatv. hes a brazilian youtuber famous for being openly gay. he introduced me to the concept of shipping, because ppl shipped him with another youtuber, t3ddy. he (plus facebook, and the cool older cousin from before) also introduced me to social activism

-asking permission from my parents to put a rainbow filter on my facebook pfp, in support of gay people. i thought i was such a good straight ally. i dont remember what happened but i think something negative mustve bc a lot of ppl were doing that in 2015. wait fuck now that i think about it that mightve actually been in 2016 because of pulse

- (we are still in 2015 im still 10) watching clips from Steven Universe Season 1 Episode 53 Jailbreak on youtube. they were (badly) subtitled bc i didnt speak english yet. i was absolutely shocked and could not believe they would show two girls kissing in a childrens cartoons, not bc i thought that was bad but bc i was like. would cartoon network really allow this??? i proceed to memorize the entire episode (again i didnt even speak english. and i watched it so many times i memorized it anyways lmao)

-being 11, and having my friend introduce to me this cool new thing she had found online, "fanfics". she linked me a college au fanfic of marceline and bubblegum from adventure time. it had a fade to black implied sex scene. i was hypnotized

-i was a very anxious child and every morning before getting to school i would prepare step-by-step what i would do when entering class. one day my internal monologue went "walk in, say good morning to teacher, kiss [previously mentioned girl best friend] on the mouth, say hello to- wait. where did that come from". start wondering if i was really Just A Really Good Straight Ally

-few days later, me and my friend group were discussing gay people. one of them asked "like i wonder if any of us are gonna be gay?". i thought for about 2.5 seconds and said "i think im bi", being the first one on my class to come out. they were all p chill ab it. i am not bi but its the thought that counts

-cutting off 30 inches of my really long hair and shaving one side at 11. my dad was mad at me for a week and he told me "i dont understand why you did this. you're looking like a dyke". originally i had planned to cut all of it really short "boy style" but the hairstylist insisted on at the very least letting half of it be longer. i did think half shaved hair was Cool so i was fine with that