#and now she's lifted an EXACT quote from my story

[pastafossa]

Plagiarist is back, please stand by.

[blackjackkent]

Prompt fill for @theajaheira from this ask meme: Lord Huron Lyric Prompts

Jaheira - "do you know what loneliness does to a man"

As I'm doing more often these days - didn't use the exact quote but let it inspire me and then modified a little to fit the story. Set about ten years pre-BG3. Caden is my Bhaalspawn PC from BG1/BG2. Hope you enjoy! c:

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Caden’s eyes drift half-open drowsily and he stares up at the ceiling of the guest room of Elerrathin’s Home. At first he’s not sure what woke him - perhaps one of Jaheira’s small horde of adopted children causing chaos downstairs - but then he hears it. A muted, rhythmic, slightly atonal whistling coming from the roof.

“D’you hear that?” he mumbles. Aerie, still sleeping peacefully at his side, doesn’t answer. After a moment’s hesitation, he gives in to his curiosity and slides carefully out from under the blanket so as not to wake his wife.

It’s a little hard to find the route upwards, presumably so the children don’t make use of it - a ladder carefully inset into the climbing vines along the upper floor’s rear balcony. (Plants among more plants - the balcony is strewn with pots of flowering buds, jars of dirt waiting for use, long planters with the stems of autumn vegetables just starting to poke into view. Like so much of Jaheira's house, it is a sanctuary of green amidst the dusty brown of the city streets.) Caden carefully avoids damaging any of the vines as he clambers up the ladder; his shoulder twinges with the unexpected exertion and he grunts. Gods, getting old, aren't you, boy?

Emerging onto the gentle slope of the roof, he blinks, for a moment dazzled by the brilliant orange of the sunrise against which the endless buildings of the Lower City are silhouetted. The fall air is crisp and cold and raises goosebumps on his skin as he steps out of the cozy warmth of the house below. 

Jaheira sits with her back to him on the edge of the rooftop, looking out to the west away from the sunrise and towards the grey sheet of the harbor not yet touched by the daylight. Her head is ducked slightly, and it takes him a moment to realize that the strange sounds are coming from her - she’s playing, very unsteadily, a simple tune on a small and very battered tin whistle. 

He moves softly, but she hears him anyway, and her head snaps up, turning to glance over her shoulder. She fists one hand tightly around the whistle, dropping it into her lap as if to hide it. “Ah. You’re awake, my friend,” she says.

He smiles. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. I just came up to listen.”

She snorts softly. “We have known each other long enough that there is no need for flattery, Caden.”

“I didn’t say I was listening because it was good.” He sticks his tongue out at her.

This elicits a soft laugh, and her shoulders relax slightly. “No, I should think not. I cannot quite get the touch for it, despite my efforts.” She lifts the whistle again and turns it slowly in her fingertips, watching as it catches a muted reflection of the slow-rising sunlight. “I do believe it is mocking me.”

He grins, moving to sit beside her so his legs dangle off the roof edge. “I’m sure someone in the city could teach you.”

“For coin and time - neither of which I have to spend on such frivolity,” she says wryly.

He raises an eyebrow. “Ah, right, you’re the High Harper now. No more fun and games, hm?”

“Just so.”

“There are those who would say we, of all people in the world, have earned a little frivolity,” he points out.

There’s a dash of humor in his voice, though, because he already knows the answer she will give him even before she speaks the words. So he’s not surprised when she shakes her head. “There is always yet more work to be done,” she murmurs. “For the city. For my children. Perhaps for the world, if it should have need of me again.”

Caden juts his lower lip out stubbornly. “If the world should have need of me again, someone can bloody well tell it that I'm not available for hire. And nor is Aerie. We've given enough.”

“You and Aerie have many happy years yet ahead; I would not take that from you,” Jaheira says quietly. 

A pause, and then she laughs again, but this time it is a somewhat darker sound, sardonic, self-deprecating.“But… ah, well. You see that this is what loneliness will do to a woman.” She gestures vaguely with the whistle. “She takes to brooding on rooftops and plotting self-sacrifice, and tormenting the local cat population with the squeaks of a whistle.”

Caden frowns. “Is that what you are?” he asks. “Lonely?” 

Her head jerks, her gaze flicking away out across the buildings around them. Then she smiles, and suddenly the moment passes, the tension in her face loosening. “We may call that a slip of the tongue,” she says mildly. “What time do I have to be alone, with that crop of rascals running about downstairs? Not to mention the Harpers under my command - who seem younger every year. And you, just now, as my guest.” She shakes her head. “No - I am not alone, and for that I am grateful.”

“Alone and lonely are not the same thing,” he says gently.

Again that flicker of a shadow crosses her face. “Do not press me on this, cub,” she says. “A slip of the tongue, no more.”

“Cub. You’re not really so much older than I am, you know,” he says dryly.

“Nonsense.” Her expression softens as she glances at him affectionately, and then she grins. “You were the first wayward child I ever raised, long before Rion.”

“I was twenty!” He laughs, nudging her gently in the shoulder. “But believe whatever you want.”

She smiles. Whatever dark thoughts led her to the rooftop seem to have passed, or at least burrowed themselves into better hiding; she tucks the whistle casually into a pocket and pushes herself to her feet. “Come. I will leave aside this travesty against melody, and let us go down to breakfast.”

[anemhoez]

That Spark…

Mafia!Thoma/AFAB Sex worker!Reader

words: 4k

A/N: Some things about the story!!

Character Ages

some ages for the characters aren’t specifically given in the Genshin canon, so i went by the median age i found.

Thoma is said to be a young man aged 20+ (i assume hes the same age as Ayato, who is about 24 and the head of his clan

Ayaka is at least 18-20 as the eldest daughter of the Kamisato clan

Sara is a general of an army and is said to be at least 20-22

Yae Miko is like, a 500+ year old yokai lol

I just want to be clear on their ages cause we do NOT write minor characters into sexual situations on this page!

Yae Miko’s name

I KNOW MIKO IS A TITLE!

I promise im not uncultured, i know its a shrine maiden title but im going to call her Miko in this story 😌 if it’s what Ei calls her, its what ill call her 😀 (ive seen fans call her yae or miko, others say the kanji for her name is different so its not the same meaning) but for this story its Miko hehe

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WARNINGS: language, unprotected sex, mentions of smoking

This is a work of fiction and is not relevant to the Genshin Impact lore! All characters (except the reader ofc) and settings belong to Hoyoverse (DONT SUE ME THANKS)

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

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It was time for celebration in inazuma since the Sakoku Decree was finally lifted. Vision bearers were now allowed to roam free in the streets without scrutiny. The city buzzed with excitement as you walked through the growing crowds, loud fireworks crackling in the distance. Since It was your day off from work, you were on your way to Komore Teahouse, and you couldn’t think of a better way to relax than meeting friends and enjoying some great food and conversation. Upon entering the teahouse, you greeted the staff politely and made sure to give Taroumaru his pets and ear scratches. The usual stoic canine wagged his tail in excitement. When you reached the second floor, you could already hear the boisterous laughs of the friends you were meeting. “Hey everyone!” you exclaimed as you walked in greeting your friends Ayaka, Miko, and Sara. They all greeted you back with cheers, “Y/n, finally! I cant for the life of me remember the details of that one encounter you had with the Kairagi guy,” Miko asked, “What did he call his manhood again?” she asked with a finger to her chin. You giggled remembering the exact story she was referencing. The three of them were your closest friends, and stories of your past adventures were something you were more than comfortable sharing. “He called it his, mighty Orobashi,”you said with your fingers making air quotes, “when the poor thing wasn’t even the size of a baby garden snake.” The women erupted in laughter, “The audacity of some men,” Sara said sarcastically before taking a sip of her tea, “You would think with the kind of discipline they have in battle, they would at least have some kind of humility in bed.” Miko giggled, “No such thing as humility when it comes to men and their desires.” The four of you chatted about the outlander, and their victory against the mighty Shogun. Miko sighed recalling her role in the whole ordeal, “The amount of planning on my part, so troublesome,” her voice calm,” “but if its whats best for her, and the people, then so be it.” You rolled your eyes at her, “So is it you we should be thanking Lady Guuji ? The sacrifices you must have made!” you teased with the most sarcasm you could muster. Before the snarky pink haired woman could reply, a waitress came to your table and bowed to you all. “My apologies, but theres someone asking for you.” she said gesturing towards you. You were a little taken aback, seeing as how anyone who could have been looking for you was currently at this table,“Thank you, Ill be right there.” you said and stood up. “Well, well, looks like you’re quite the popular person,” Miko said, “we’re expecting all the details upon your return darling.” You walked down the stairs and were greeted with the one person you did not want to see on your day off, “Boss? What is it?” The woman before you sighed, “Now Y/n, you know I wouldn’t be here in person if it wasn’t of the utmost importance,” she explained, leaning in closer to you, “look, i know its your day off but i need you, we’re so busy tonight.” You sighed, a hand coming up to your forehead, “I cant believe this.” She just shrugged, “Well, believe it, the whole towns celebrating and were booked, I just might have to pitch in soon.” You laughed at the thought, “Alright boss, please don’t go and pull a muscle, i’ll be there soon.” you joked. The older woman scoffed, “What exactly is that supposed to mean?!” she yelped at you as you headed back to your friends. “Sorry ladies, but I’m being called in,” you said and hugged each one of them. Ayaka frowned, “It was nice catching up with you anyway Y/n, oh i almost forgot,” she said suddenly, “Yoimiya mentioned something about some new fireworks she was planning on setting off later tonight, maybe if you have time?” she asked sweetly, it was always so difficult to say no to her. “Ill try my best to make it Ayaka, by the shore right? Closest to her store?” She nodded and with that you waved goodbye to them and headed out.

You hurried to your workplace, the red lights above you lining your path as you walked up to the building. Patrons stood outside, smoking cigars and singing songs of past victories. A man held the door open for you and you headed in, the familiar sounds of sex meeting your ears. Your boss turned to you after realizing you were finally here. “Thank the Archons!” she exclaimed and brought you over to a man who was leaning up against a nearby wall. “This is Y/n, theyll be taking care of you tonight,” she said softly , her tone completely different from the one she used in private, “If theres anything else you need, please don’t hesitate to let us know.” The tall blond before you nodded, a bright smile spreading across his face, “Thank you,” he chimed, his voice filled with cheer, “Im Thoma.” His eyes scrunched into half moons as he smiled wide. You bowed in front of him, ”Right this way Thoma.” your voice soft and welcoming as you gestured for him to head up the stairs. He headed up the creaky steps while your boss pulled you aside by your arm. “Listen Y/n, hes with the Yashiro commission, you make sure you do whatever he wants, understand?” You simply nodded and headed up the stairs to meet your client.

“This way,” you instructed and he followed you down the hall. The moans and whines of your colleagues even louder now, “Hows your day been?” you asked trying to make idle chit chat. He sighed, “Eventful.” Was all he said. The two of you reached the door to your room and you held it open for him, “After you.” He entered the room, but stayed by the door, worried it’d be impolite of him to just sit somewhere without permission. You laughed and closed the door, making sure to lock it. “Please Thoma, make yourself at home.” He just nodded and began to remove his shoes and jacket. You stole a glance at his lean figure. His toned arms were decorated with tattoos of various designs and colors. You noticed a familiar looking dog on his left arm, “Wait a second, I recognize him!” You walked up to him and examined the portrait of Taroumaru, “Would you believe it? I just saw this little cutie,” you explained with a smile thinking about the sweet pup. “Really? That’s my buddy,” he said with a giggle, looking cheerfully at the ink portrait, “I’ll miss him now that I’m not hiding out at the teahouse anymore.” He placed his jacket at the back of your vanity chair and looked at you. You eyed him up and down, his toned form under his tight shirt catching your intense gaze. “You like what you see?” he asked with a cocky grin. “Hmm, maybe?” you joked and you began disrobing in front of him. You pulled your loose dress over your head and tossed it aside. He stared at you now, his beautiful green eyes trailing up and down your form. You wore a simple set of undergarments, nothing as fancy as you could have had on if you had more time to prepare. But it seemed like he didnt care much anyway, what with the way he was biting his bottom lip, practically eye fucking you. “You’re gorgeous,” he said and walked closer to you. “Thank you, please sit” you motioned with a hand towards your bed. He obliged, sitting on the edge and letting out a sigh. “So, your boss wanted me to see you specifically, huh?” You walked up and knelt down before him, “Thats right,” your voice low and sultry, “and you’re about to find out why, Thoma.” Your hands trailed up his thighs, the tight muscles taught underneath his pants. You made your way to the hem of his pants and prepared to undo then when he stopped you suddenly, “I almost died today.” his voice so matter of fact you just stood up, “Oh,” you said plainly, not really sure what to say next. “well, I cant say thats the craziest thing i’ve ever heard while on my knees.” Thoma chuckled, reaching out and taking you by the hands gently, “My apologies, its my first time in a place like this so,” his thumbs rubbed the back of your hands softly, “I guess I’m kind of nervous?” Being nervous was understandable, but blurting out about your near death experience was, kind of sad. “I see,” you said and took a seat next to him, “Would you like to talk about it?” Thoma shook his head, “Nah,Its just, being that close to death, in front of the Shogun? Kind of gave me some clarity.” His voice was low as he turned towards you, bright green eyes full of a renowned vigor for life. “What kind of clarity?” you asked apprehensively, worried if you pried too much, youd end up on the Yashiro Commissions list. “That I should, be as nice to myself as I am to others.” After hearing those words, you realized how heavily you could relate. Your whole job was to take care of others, oftentimes at risk to your own sanity. “So, you ended up here as a way to, be nicer to yourself?” you asked with a wiggle of your eyebrows. He laughed hard, “Seems that way, yeah,” he leaned back on his elbows, and you placed a hand on his thigh, “You’re in the right place Thoma.” Your hand squeezed and he looked at you with lustful eyes, “Ill take really good care of you, I promise.” He flashed a bright smile and you wondered if his face ever got tired from how much he did that. “Is it alright if, you take them off?” he asked softly and pointed to your underwear. “So polite,” you said with a grin, “you must be the nicest guy in Inazuma.”

Thoma watched as you stood up and reached around to undo your bra, the light fabric falling to the floor. You reached down to take off your underwear, “Wait, turn around.” he commanded with a low, sultry voice. You did as he requested and turned, your plump ass facing him. you looked back over your shoulder and kept eye contact with him as you slowly pulled down your underwear. Your body bent over as you pulled them off of your feet and heard him curse under his breath. He reached out, taking a handful of your ass in his hands. “Actually, I should probably thank the shogun,” his voice was deep as you felt him lower his head closer to your ass, “had she not tried to kill me today,” he spread your ass cheeks and spit on your hole, “I probably wouldn’t have had the chance to have you like this.” He licked up his own saliva against you, causing you to whine at the sensation. his tongue entered your asshole and began exploring. “Im at your service,” you huffed out and held his head closer to you, “Even the gods cant stop us now Thoma.” He gripped at your plush thighs, his tongue lazily licking up your folds after rimming your asshole a bit. His mouth pulled away with a wet smack and he stood, pulling you into an embrace and moved his hands down your belly, “Tell me what you want Y/n,” he whispered in your ear as his fingers found your wet and waiting cunt. He inserted his fingers into you, curving them and easily finding your spot. “There, faster!” you pleaded while the vulgar, wet squelching sounds that came out of you had him whispering praises in your ear. “Your so wet, I cant wait to have a taste” Your knees buckled, his skilled fingers and words of praise making you weak. You could feel yourself coming undone, just by his fingers so you moved away from him, his fingers coming out of you and directly into his mouth. He licked his fingers clean, sitting back down on the bed, “Feels too good, yeah?” he said cockily. You had had your doubts about him, but with the way he was licking you off of him, and the moans that fell from his lips as he did so, you knew then that he definitely knew what he was doing, and you were more than grateful for it.

You came up to him and wrapped your arms around his neck, “Yeah, but id rather cum on your cock than on your fingers.” You said before kissing him, tasting yourself on his lips. You felt your self being lifted off of the ground suddenly, his strong arms holding you close. He moved to bring you onto the bed and the two of you bounced lightly on the mattress. Thoma stood up and hurriedly removed his shirt and pants, fumbling over his belt buckle as he did so. “Slow down, the shogun isnt after you anymore.” you said and crawled over to the edge of the bed to meet him. You helped him with the buckle on his pants, looking up at him as you did so. “We have the whole night, and you can do whatever you want with me.” you said as you reached down to wake his member. You tugged on it, heavy and warm in your hand, the prominent veins throbbed. He pushed his pants off and stepped out of them. Your free hand then pulled his undergarment down while your mouth dribbled saliva onto his dick, your eyes darting up to look at him. Thoma placed a hand behind your head and you bent down and took him into your mouth. You sucked his tip, swirling your tongue around and mixed your saliva with his own seed. His hand was gentle at the back of your head as he pushed you onto him further. Your hand stroked and squeezed easily with how messy you were making him. He moaned in appreciation watching you as you worked. “Archons, your so pretty on my cock.” words of praise huffing out of his mouth as you gurgled on his length. The long organ at the back of your throat caused you to gag, but you breathed through your nose to accommodate him. He thrust into your mouth slowly, enjoying the way your eyes began to tear at his ministrations. He pulled you off of him with a pop and rubbed his hard dick along your cheeks, making even more of a mess on your face. You took his dick back into your mouth and sucked, tugging at his sack as you did so. “Fuck,” he growled and pulled you back off quickly, bringing a thumb to your mouth and smearing your saliva that was stained white with his pre-cum over your mouth. You sucked his thumb, desperately needing something in your mouth to suck on. You gazed into each others eyes, sharing the same lustful thoughts. The quiet as you stared at each other was deafening, no words being said, but a knowing stare shared.

He moved to lay over you, his broad shoulders and toned arms covering you at either side, He observed your face, sticky and sultry, “Enough to make the gods themselves jealous, how did i get so lucky?” he asked rhetorically before you maneuvered yourself from under him, pushing him down onto his back and seating yourself on top of him. You hovered over his cock, rubbing the his tip over your folds. You stared at him devilishly before using a hand to help guide him in. You sunk down, bottoming out and feeling his cock nestle at your cervix. You hoped that the Gods were in fact watching, immensely jealous at how youd be worshipping Thoma tonight instead.

He hissed, so desperate and eager to fuck you right then and there, but being the gentleman he was, he waited for your next move. After all, you were the one who was on the clock, and by the Seven Archons, you would prove to him that you were just that great at your job. You moved your hands along your body sensually and he watched you intently, almost as if you’d disappear right before him if he didn’t keep his desperate eyes on you. As he bit down on his bottom lip, his eyes went dark with lust as you began to slowly move up and down onto him, rolling your hips against him and eliciting the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard from a man. “Ah, you feel,” he stopped to breathe as you moved up and down on him again, this time agonizingly slow, “fuck, so good.” he finally huffed out. You placed your hands on his toned abdomen, working your body on top of him making sure to let Thoma know exactly why you were the most desired in Inazuma. Strong hands came to grip your ass as you rode him hard. He groaned and moved his hips up, meeting yours in a fever. You moaned and threw your head back “Yes Thoma, like that!” you yelped while your hands squeezed your breasts hard. You whined his name loudly, the sound making him move faster against you. Your walls fluttered around him, muscles clenching down as he brought you closer with every hard and delicious drag of his cock in and out of you. The man under you fucked you hard and fast, as if he had something to prove, and with a few more thrusts, you were sent right into a very deserved euphoric peak You cried out his name once more, cumming hard on him. He leaned up and took your chin gently in his hand, “can I,” he huffed out his next words while still pumping into you, “can I finish inside?” he asked sweetly. You were still trying to catch your breath, your pussy throbbing in bliss. All you could do was just shake your head no, and the man quickly pulled out of you. He tugged on his member, his seed spurting out in hot, sticky ribbons all over your stomach. The beautiful man grunted and moaned as he came, his body completely spent and moving to lay next to you afterwards. You caught your breath slowly milking your orgasm by squeezing your legs together, “Today was my day off, by the way.”you huffed out. Thomas tired laugh echoed through the room, “No way,” he looked over at you, “I almost die, you almost don’t come into work,” he moved your damp hair out of your face, “i’d say this is fate Y/n” You leaned in and kissed him, his lips parting to welcome your tongue. Whether it be fate, or the gods themselves you didnt care, cause the guy you were currently kissing was one of the few men to bring you to such an incredible climax.

Soon, you both cleaned up with some warm water and a cloth from the nearby basin on the vanity. He helped clean you up, kissing the spots on your stomach where his seed had just been wiped off. You slipped into your silk robe, and he helped you tie it at your waist. He finally turned from you, grabbing his clothes to get dressed. While turned away from you, and for the first time, you saw the vivid full back tattoo common amongst the members of the Yashiro Comission. You gazed at the intricate detail, wondering how you had missed seeing it before. Once he finished dressing, and checking to make sure he had his vision at his side, he turned back to you. You cocked your head to the side, curious about something. “Your vision, can i ask how you received it? I’ve always been curious about how the gods choose who gets one.” He held it, rubbing his thumb along the bright red orb, “I pledged my loyalty to the Kamisato clan, I suppose the gods favor such righteous endeavors.” in your mind you knew there wasnt anything righteous about organized crime, but it wasnt any of your business to question that. And youd be lying to yourself if you said you werent curious about what kind of man Thoma was. And this night with him? It made him seem like a sweetheart, a gentleman who kissed you all over and asked what you wanted instead of focusing on himself. He cleared his throat, abruptly bringing you from your own thoughts. “So, you think we could, do this again sometime?” his nervous laugh making him just that much more annoyingly cute. “Are you, asking to be one of my regulars? That’s a very coveted spot in this city.” The tall blond laughed and walked with you towards the door, “I’m sure I’m more than capable of earning my place.” he said, a somewhat cocky grin on his face. You moved in and adjusted the various ornaments on his jacket, getting him put back together nicely before he met the outside world again. “Come by and ask for me anytime, I’ll take care of you.” you said and opened the door for him. He tried to hide his cheeky grin and slight blush on his cheeks but you caught it anyway. “Oh! I almost forgot.” he said in shock and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a small pouch of mora and handed it to you. You took it from him, almost forgetting completely just who you were, and why he was here in the first place. “Right, thank you, enjoy the rest of your night Thoma.” You said sweetly before he waved and turned away without another word.

Almost as soon as he had left, your boss hurried up the stairs and straight into your room. “WELL?!” she exclaimed excitedly, bursting through the door without a knock. You explained that everything went well, and that there was nothing to worry about. You followed the house rules, making sure he didn’t finish inside of you, but you didn’t give too much away of course. Those special, sweet moments were reserved only for you. Also per house rules, you handed over half of your mora to the woman who now held her hand out to you. You couldn’t really complain about it considering you were one of the few workers who were paid more, but you worried if itd ever be enough to pay your debts off and finally leave. After receiving her share, she thanked you for coming in and headed back to her post downstairs.

The night was cool and crisp as you hurriedly made your way towards the beach. You quickly removed your sandals at the sandy stones that led from Yoimiyas store. Holding them tightly in your hand, you rushed to meet up with your friends. With the cool sand at your feet, you soon found your friends who waved to you. Yoimiya beamed upon seeing you. “Y/n! Glad you could make it!” Miko took you by the arm and pulled you close to her side, “You alright? I don’t need to go over there and give them all a piece of my mind do I?” She was always making sure you were alright after work and the gesture always made you feel loved. “No need to worry, everything went well.” Yoimiya began the countdown and the sky soon erupted with beautiful sparkles as the fireworks bursted loudly. Silhouettes of slimes and symbols exploded above, your heart full as you watched closely. You couldn’t help but feel at home amongst the people you loved while cheering and enjoying the light show. Ayaka was suddenly called away by a pair of Yashiro Commission guards who were there to protect her and make sure she arrived home safety. You kept a close eye on her as she walked up to them and before you looked back up at the sky, you noticed a familiar face. Thoma walked up and began talking with Ayaka as well, bowing before giving her a smile. They exchanged greetings and some words before she turned and headed back towards you all. He followed her with his eyes and met your gaze. You blushed a little, remembering what had just happened between the two of you not too long ago. He smiled wide at you, his eyes doing that endearing half moon eye smile that you admitted to yourself, was growing on you. All you could do was smile back as Ayaka took your hand in hers, “I’m so glad you could make it!” she said with glee. “Me too.” you said with a smile. You looked back up at the night sky, grateful for the set of circumstances that brought you to meeting someone like Thoma. “Glory to the shogun I suppose.” you thought sarcastically in your mind. You hoped to both her and Celestia above, that you’d get the chance to see him again.

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A/N: Here it is! Hope you all enjoy it as much as i do lol 🧡

[petruchio]

Bestie I think you’re so right about the movie altering Lucy and Coryo’s romance to better convey the themes within the limitations of the medium!

Like it’s actually a huge book! I knew they would have to cut a lot for the sake of run time so I was fully expecting them to sacrifice some of the details that do so much heavy lifting for the deeper themes.

But I was so pleasantly surprised, and I honestly think that preserving the themes must have been a central goal in the production! I was noticing small changes - but they all seemed to serve keeping the major themes in tact?

Like I saw it with my family (who all read thg but not tbosas) and I went in wondering. Like how are they going to make a meaningful, faithful, adaptation of such a large book?? Will my family understand The Themes? And they did!

I think it speaks to Suzanne’s writing ability (her themes are layered throughout every level, so a few cuts won’t gut them entirely) and smart/intentional alterations.

Like you mention with cutting the kiss, I think doing so highlights the transactionality of this moment. Coryo won’t kiss her OR give her the compact until she denounces Billy taupe! Like literally he won’t save her life (do the right thing, like Tigris says) if she’s in love with someone else! Interesting!

But like you say, if they do !finally! kiss (without that monologue) it’s easier to miss how manipulative he’s being in that moment and the importance of it!

I think they made a similar smart choice with being shipped off to 8 - I might be wrong here!! But I’m pretty sure he isn’t ordered to be a peace keeper? He CHOOSES that because he sees it as his only avenue left? (Which I thought was some military industrial complex commentary sprinkled in but now I’m afraid I imagined this whole thing LOL)

So assuming I’m not misremembering - I thought making highbottom force him to become a peace keeper also worked similarly. Like letting him choose that (without the internal monologue) makes his motivations seem genuine when they aren’t fully. So it’s just better for the movie medium perhaps?

Anyways, rambling done lol thanks for listening 🌟

ohhhh how i love all of this!! i love you for taking the time to send all this to me -- and thank you for validating my reading of the altered love story!!

and YES i was so pleasantly surprised by how well they managed to maintain a lot of the thematic content of the book, esp because we KNOW how much they gutted it in the original trilogy. i have a couple theories on why: the first is that the filmmakers are devoted readers of my tumblr blog and they understood the importance of preserving the political themes from the novels when adapting them to the screen (ok obviously i am joking.) my real theories are -- the cultural conversation has shifted a LOT since the original films got made, and i think they were more aware and more *able* to be more explicit with so many of those ideas. i also wonder if the act of adapting the story of someone from capitol was easier than adapting someone from district 12 -- there's been much ink spilled over how we, the privileged moviegoers who are watching the film in theaters, are much more like capitolites than we are like katniss herself. and i wonder if that made it easier to adapt -- because one of the big critiques of the thg films is that they really glam jlaw up even when she's in district 12, and it makes scenes like the "remake" scenes kind of lose their power and biting social commentary. whereas with snow, and the capitol, and the games themselves, we're meant to understand that they ARE a facade, and the movie can really lean into that. (side note, my least fav costume in the whole movie was lucy gray's swimsuit. pretty much for that exact reason -- it was too ~perfect~ for the setting.)

to your point about the change with snow deciding vs being ordered to become a peacekeeper -- i honestly couldn't remember either so i went to see if i could find the quote from the book and it's this:

[...] But as he approached the dean, a cold dread washed over him. There, arranged on the table like lab specimens, were three items: an Academy napkin stained with grape punch, his mother’s silver compact, and a dingy white handkerchief. The meeting could not have lasted more than five minutes. Afterward, as agreed, Coriolanus headed directly to the Recruitment Center, where he became Panem’s newest, if not shiniest, Peacekeeper.

honestly i wish i remembered what exactly is meant by "as agreed" but i do think you're right that in the book it's more implied that he doesn't have another choice -- because he didn't win the monetary prize, he has to enroll. so i think you're right that the point is that the idea that it's his choice at all is in question because it's societal pressure and his family's financial status that kind of forces him into the military industrial complex. but i think, because they made this scene so explicit in the film, that you're right that having him be ordered to do it instead of hearing him justify it in his head manages to accomplish what we need it to for the sake of the plot moving forward (if kind of weakening that angle of sc's commentary)

also, here's something to chew on -- i was thinking as i was watching the film if part of the reason some of the changes didn't irritate me so much was because i was more forgiving of the need to shift things around to account for the lack of internal monologue because the book is written in third person instead of first person. i mean, obviously i am overly attached to pretty much everything about katniss, and yes that comes down even to her internal monologue, but i did wonder if that made some of the changes feel more natural to me, because we still kind of get them explained to us in the book as an observer, instead of listening to someone explain themselves to us (i don't know if that makes any sense?) -- but i guess what i'm trying to say is that maybe reading tbosas is more like watching a film, vs reading thg which is more like you are experiencing something alongside katniss? and that's because of the pov choice?

WELL that was a ramble! i'm always amazed by how much we can say about these books and films!! they're just so layered and so fascinating -- i'm loving all the conversations i've been seeing about tbosas. i feel like a lot of it is really starting to gel for me the more i read people's thoughts and analyses. (i still think the third act is messy though. no matter how great suzanne's themes are, i do think the pacing is rough. lol!)

[thesweetnessofspring]

Ella Enchanted 2004 Sucks #5

Real Char (aka book Char): I love Ella for her humor, her sense of fun and adventure, her bravery, her intelligence, and her capability. I'm worried going to finishing school will change her, she doesn't need to be changed! When I'm around her, I can be her friend and take a break from being prince and all of those duties that I take seriously, because I care about my people and want to protect them. While I'm gone for a year to maintain an important alliance in a foreign court where the culture demands to be silent, the words from her letters give me companionship and I treasure them. Even after she led me to believe she was only after me for my money but got impatient and married someone else, I go after her when she comes to my ball in a disguise. I've known her long enough to sense that something is wrong. I recognize the abuse she'd been suffering during my absence and when she refuses my proposal, I graciously accept that she doesn't want to marry me. But I'm so happy when she finally confides that she had been cursed, which is now lifted, making us free to marry each other. 💕

Fake Char (aka movie Char): "You're not like other girls." (literal quote from the movie). Every other girl is vapid and obsessed with me and this girl has made it clear that she hates me, but now I want to sleep with her because she's clearly the only woman who has ever not been attracted to me. Plus, y'know, she's hot (like I'm going to go after her dark-skinned friend who has her exact same personality, pffff). Also, she's going to have to show me (an actual prince that is soon to be king) the obvious problems going on in my kingdom and point out that slavery and discrimination are bad, actually. I'm just too pretty to be smart, I couldn't have known slavery and land-grabbing is immoral!! I swear!! And my totally nice uncle and his not-at-all-obviously-evil snake clearly don't know either!! But if it gets me in Ella's skirts, I guess I can...like...listen to a giant or something I guess...have I done enough good stuff to kiss Ella now? Yes?! Since I've only known Ella for three days, I totally believe she was trying to kill me (she did hate my guts three days ago). I'm going to sit back and not do anything to help her out or even talk to her to get her side of the story. I mean, it's not feminist to help a girl now. She has to save me. That's the way it works. Now watch me sing and dance.

[gifsbysimplysonia]

Many thanks to @stargazingfangirl18 for this fic rec!

I am in a phase where I am absolutely loving, like, medieval fics? I'm trying to write one myself even though I have NO knowledge of anything so when I saw Siri recommend this AND it was Steve Rogers, I couldn't click fast enough.

As per usual, ahead there be

The fic does very well in the language being appropriate for the type of fic that it is. I'm not sure that's going to make any sense lol but like ... if I'm reading a medieval fic? There's a certain cadence and language I really want to read, and if it's actually modern language being used, it's super difficult for me to stay immersed. But I think @buckets-and-trees did really well in staying in the language and cadence of the times.

You sigh, turning back properly in your chair so your lady in waiting, the Duchess Natalia, can resume taking down your hair. “Your Majesty?” she prompts, noting your sigh. “It’s good to hear the king is back.” “He will undoubtedly request an audience with you tomorrow,” she says. She is far too observant and already knows you too well. She is also mercifully diplomatic, discreet, and a confidant who listens and doesn’t needle you or pry, so she continues letting out the braids, letting you muse on your own and only speak further if you want to. You don’t want to.

This is from right at the top of the story and I was so excited because I was like, yessssssss it's being written for the time. I also was like uh oh, cuz why is she weary that her King is back?

you had grown close, and you had dangerously started to lose your heart to him.

ohhhhhhhhhh THAT's why! And I relate cuz I never want anyone I care about to know I care about them lol that's intimidating and gives power over you if you do.

Now, here you sat, hoping your husband would summon you on the morrow, as you could not simply turn up in his royal presence, even though you were queen.

The way that I was irked?? She is a QUEEN and she can't just go see the King??? I forget about sexism sometimes lol

You had been prepared all your life to marry a king and not to grow sentimentally attached to him as your husband. You felt like such a fool, pining when you had been perfectly fine and content in your life a mere six weeks ago.

Relatable content in bold!

Now this next shizz made me SCREAM INTO MY PUMPKIN PILLOW, y'all and I'm sorry to quote so much but like it's necessary:

There are voices outside your bedchamber and you and Natasha exchange perplexed looks. Just as she turns toward the door, it bursts open, the king entering without hesitation. He takes in the scene then quickly strides forward. Natasha quickly drops into the customary curtsy. “Your Majesty,” she says. You should have risen from your spot and greeted him as well, but your heart has jumped into your throat, and you are momentarily frozen. The king is across the room and standing next to you by the time Natasha rises back to her full stature. He reaches out for the brush in her hand, and you catch the nearly imperceptible lift of the corners of her lips in a smile as she gives it to him. “Duchess, you may go, I will take over.”

So here's the Queen, right? Pining away, lost in thoughts, thinking of him, HOPING he will summon her ... and as IF HER OWN THOUGHTS SUMMONED HIM, he BURSTS in. And the BURSTING is important because it means he WANTS to see her, he NEEDS to see her. Are her exact feelings reciprocated or is it just lust? Well, the man is about to BRUSH HER HAIR FOR HER so like ... I don't think it's just lust. The absolute INTIMACY and sweetness of him taking over that act is like ... it made me scream. HONESTLY!!!

He pulls all your hair into his left hand, then, holding it, works the brush through it with his right hand, starting at the bottom, moving up a little at a time. You marvel at how gently and methodically he works through your locks, almost reverently. Neither of you speak as he brushes your hair. You study him in the mirror. He’s concentrated fully on his task.

When I tell y'all the thought of Steve Rogers being fully focused on brushing hair made me burst into flames lmao. Because we all know how much Steve puts into anything he wants to do ... he's going to do it RIGHT, and for him to control whatever impulses brought him to her chamber in the first place to PROPERLY BRUSH OUT HER HAIR?!?! I am DYINGGGGGGGGGGGG

He stands up straight and urges you to turn in your chair and face him. His fingers possessively trace along your jaw, tilting your chin up. “Did you miss your king?”

The way I know it's about to be BUSINESS TIME between these two!! LIKE, how DARE he?!? Cuz I think he KNOWS she did but he WANTS to HEAR it and then using POSSESSIVE TOUCH and making you LOOK at him as he asks you??? *melts*

You couldn’t say you missed your husband and not your king, not yet, so instead of mincing words or spinning together something else true enough to say, you bring your hand up over his, and turn your head to press a kiss into the palm of his hand.

I mean, yes you could've, Queen but I GET why you're hesitant to expose your heart. That made me go AWWWWWWWWE out loud though cuz I wish she would have vocalized that.

I'm not gonna quote all the smut cuz I'd be quoting ALL THE SMUT but it is HOT, y'all. THIS shizz took me OUT tho

You try to move to kneel before him, but he says, “Oh no,” instead insisting on luring you up and pulling you into a kiss, fully flush against his body, and he leads you in no uncertain terms to the bed, shoving you down to sit at the foot of the mattress.

Sooooooooo she's going to DO for HIM, and he's like NUH UH, me first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE.

Y'all have GOT. TO. GO. READ. THIS!

This is from almost the end, but it's so absolutely tender and intimate and I WEEP

He brings your joined hands to his lips, and he kisses the back of your hand, then tucks it close to his chest and begins conversing with you – about the mundane, the important, things from the past few weeks apart, and from your lives apart before.

Like, now that the frenzy is over, let's catch up on life cuz I missed you and want to know what you were doing, and I want you to want to know what I was doing. There's real emotion here between these 2 which makes everything that happened before THAT MUCH BETTER.

I cannot say enough wonderful things about this story. Thank you again SO MUCH SIRI for reblogging and recommending this one and to the author for creating and sharing. I enjoyed myself thoroughly and will be coming back to this one again and again.

Title: Fire Burning from a Cedar Tree

Fandom: MCU

Characters/Pairings: King!Steve x Royal!Reader, brief appearance from Natasha

Word Count: 3.4k

Summary: Georgian-but-quasi-American royal AU. You came into the betrothal with no illusions to the situation – yours was a marriage to ensure the continuation of many generations of alliance and peace between your respective kingdoms. Very early, however, you learn what your royal union truly means to you both.

Content Warnings: politically arranged marriage, reluctant pining, SMUT (rough fucking, p in v, oral – female receiving, fluffy fucking, nipple play)

Additional Notes: The eighth and final offering in my 2022 Holiday Extravaganza. Just a smutty one-shot here with a smattering of situation painting/plot and relationship development. Did I think we were going to end up with this much Steve for the HE? Nope! But here we are, yet again ahaha. I had closed my laptop and gotten up to go to bed, had this idea while brushing my teeth, and sat back down and typed for an hour, then have been feverishly returning to it as I had the time. So I hope you enjoy, dear reader.

Music Ficspiration: Big God by Florence + the Machine, I’ve Grown Accustomed to Her Face from My Fair Lady, Better Love by Hozier, Movement by Hozier, So Real by Jeff Buckley, Lover, You Should’ve Come Over by Jeff Buckley

“Your Majesty,” one of your ladies in waiting enters your bedchambers and sweeps into a curtsy.

“Yes?” you prompt, turning in your chair to look at her directly instead of through mirror of the vanity.

“His Majesty the King has returned.”

You nod, “Thank you. You may retire for the evening.”

She curtsies again, bowing her head, and then leaves, closing the door softly behind her. You sigh, turning back properly in your chair so your lady in waiting, the Duchess Natalia, can resume taking down your hair.

“Your Majesty?” she prompts, noting your sigh.

“It’s good to hear the king is back.”

“He will undoubtedly request an audience with you tomorrow,” she says. She is far too observant and already knows you too well.

She is also mercifully diplomatic, discreet, and a confidant who listens and doesn’t needle you or pry, so she continues letting out the braids, letting you muse on your own and only speak further if you want to.

You don’t want to.

The product of a long-arranged betrothal to bring peace between two countries, you had accepted your fate, resigned to be a good and dutiful queen. You were not to inherit a throne in your own country, had known that from birth with two older brothers, and you had grown up ready to embrace duty and opportunity. On arriving in the kingdom of Brooklyn as the future queen, your interactions with King Steven had been limited, but pleasant. They had been sufficient for you to be secure in your hope that it would be a good union, no need to worry about him being either cruel or moronic.

You had expected to be wedded and bedded. What you had not expected was to actually fall for him after the wedding ceremony and royal festivities when the two of you had taken the custom ten-day royal honeymoon to the palace in the north of his country by the lakes. The first night, of course, you’d consummated the union. The first few days you had been tentative in each other’s company. But with few staff, few interruptions, no royal obligations, only time really to yourselves – dining together, walking in the gardens, riding in the forest, in your bedchambers… you had grown close, and you had dangerously started to lose your heart to him.

Then you had been sent back to court while he had to depart directly to attend to matters in California in Stark’s kingdom. Two weeks had stretched to three, and the longer he was absent, the more you missed him, spurring you to grow more irritated at your naivety for developing more tender feelings for him than just that of the dutiful wife and queen you were supposed to and had intended to be.

No, here you sat, hoping your husband would summon you on the morrow, as you could not simply turn up in his royal presence, even though you were queen. Indeed, you could go anywhere else in this kingdom, had the company of many – some only because they had to or were courting your favor, but enough warm and developing relationships throughout the court – but not the one person you now yearned for.

You had been prepared all your life to marry a king and not to grow sentimentally attached to him as your husband. You felt like such a fool, pining when you had been perfectly fine and content in your life a mere six weeks ago.

There are voices outside your bedchamber and you and Natasha exchange perplexed looks. Just as she turns toward the door, it bursts open, the king entering without hesitation. He takes in the scene then quickly strides forward.

Natasha quickly drops into the customary curtsy. “Your Majesty,” she says.

You should have risen from your spot and greeted him as well, but your heart has jumped into your throat, and you are momentarily frozen.

The king is across the room and standing next to you by the time Natasha rises back to her full stature. He reaches out for the brush in her hand, and you catch the nearly imperceptible lift of the corners of her lips in a smile as she gives it to him.

“Duchess, you may go, I will take over.”

“Yes, your Majesty.”

She makes to curtsy again before exiting, but he waves her off. “Go,” he commands, impatiently but somehow without any irritation, and she heeds his wishes and departs immediately.

Wordlessly, he steps right up behind you. You suppose you shouldn’t have been surprised he came to you. You belong to him, and he’s been denied by proximity for three weeks. He pulls all your hair into his left hand, then, holding it, works the brush through it with his right hand, starting at the bottom, moving up a little at a time. You marvel at how gently and methodically he works through your locks, almost reverently. Neither of you speak as he brushes your hair. You study him in the mirror. He’s concentrated fully on his task. Coming to a finish, he finally meets your gaze in the mirror, and the look in his eyes is intense. He sets the brush on the dressing table and sweeps your hair to one side, exposing your neck and he leans down to press a long, heated kiss to your delicate skin. You shiver as he follows this with shorter kisses trailing down your neck to the juncture where it meets shoulder, and it’s a sensitive point that draws a sigh from your lips.

He stands up straight and urges you to turn in your chair and face him. His fingers possessively trace along your jaw, tilting your chin up. “Did you miss your king?”

You couldn’t say you missed your husband and not your king, not yet, so instead of mincing words or spinning together something else true enough to say, you bring your hand up over his, and turn your head to press a kiss into the palm of his hand.

You try to move to kneel before him, but he says, “Oh no,” instead insisting on luring you up and pulling you into a kiss, fully flush against his body, and he leads you in no uncertain terms to the bed, shoving you down to sit at the foot of the mattress. He draws back and both of you are panting heavily. He stands between your legs, and he doesn’t take his eyes off your as he pulls his tunic up over his head and drops it to the floor. His breeches quickly follow, and his cock springs free, hard, and ready to take you. Already breathing heavily, you’re able to hide your reaction somewhat – which is a confusing mixture of both excitement and trepidation.

He urges you to scoot back, crawling up to join you,

Midway up the bed, he presses on your shoulder, “Lay back for me. “

He rucks up your nightgown around your hips, and crawls over you, using one hand to guide himself into your already slickening folds before caging you in on either side of your head and thrusting deep inside your cunt, filling you completely with the first thrust.

He adopts a frenzied pace to fuck you. It’s hard and fast. He’s no longer looking at you, his head dropped and buried into the crook of your neck. You can’t catch your breath. This isn’t what you wanted.

He holds your thigh up around his narrow waist, spearing into you again and again, his fingers digging into your flesh with a bruising force. You let out a quiet sob and he abruptly stills, raising his head to look at you, but you can’t look at him.

You’re not fast enough to brush away the tears though, and you know he sees them slowly rolling down your cheeks, tears you had fought to keep at bay.

He utters your name as if in pain and draws away completely, sitting back on his heels.

You turn away, rolling to your side, feeling so much more of you has been exposed than merely your naked body before him.

After a moment that stretches on between the two of you, his fingers tenderly caress your calf. He murmurs your name tentatively this time, a question.

You sense him shift on the bed, and suddenly you feel him behind you. You are wrapped in on yourself, but his hand brushes softly from your elbow to your shoulder. He lingers there for a moment, then you feel him shift behind you again, and he props himself up, so he can look down at you over your shoulder, and his hand moves purposefully now to your cheek to wipe away your tears. He plants a kiss on your shoulder. Then he brings his hand back to your shoulder and softly urges you to roll toward him so you’re on your back again and he can look directly at you again.

“That was too rough. You are a queen and deserve better treatment from a king.”

You turn your head away. “No, it’s not…” You bite your lip. Even the way he apologized was too detached and it made your heart ache.

“Not what?”

More hot tears spill silently over your cheeks. How can you explain? You hardly understood the tempest in your heart yourself.

But then he cups the side of your face, brushes his thumb over the apple of your cheek, and when he draws your gaze back to him, there is something in his eyes so searching and raw that your heart longs for more of that version of him. “It wasn’t that you were too rough, it was that I don’t want to be merely used and discarded.” Your admission is out in a rush before you could second guess your words or their consequences.

He frowns. “Far from it.”

He moves closer and plants a kiss on your forehead, then rests his forehead against yours. Eyes closed, for a moment you both simply breath each other in being that close, one of his hands still cupping your cheek. At length, he speaks again. “I was desperate for you.”

“Desperate for me?”

He breaks away and laughs softly, but there’s a pang of bitterness to it. “Yes, desperate.”

He sits up, facing away from you.

You sit up next to him, smoothing your nightdress down, unsure how to proceed, you don’t want to lose him in the present. “Steven?” you try to coax him for more.

He sighs. “I’m afraid you will find me to be a fool.”

You wait for him to continue, needing to hear what he means.

“I was serenely independent and content before we wed, and inexplicably in a matter of days you somehow seem to have seeped into my bones, because from the first of your absence my mind turned so often of you. I found myself wondering what your opinion would be, wanting you to try some of the delicacies alongside me, wishing to see your smiles and your frowns throughout the course of the day. When I returned to my chambers each night, they were empty instead of peaceful and solitary. I’d grown accustomed to your voice, accustomed to your face, accustomed to your place at my side.”

He pauses again for a moment, and his expression pained. “But it was more than accustomed – I truly yearned for you and was angry to feel so much unlike myself when I’ve ruled for more than a decade without you, lived a life I thought was very much complete before you, devoted to the crown and happy in my reign, and now…”

The sentiment lingers in the space between you. Surely, he must hear your thundering of your heart in your chest. Finally, you say, “If you’re a fool, I’m a fool.”

His head snaps to look at you.

You take a deep breath and expose your soul to him, too. “We were both born and raised for our royal duties, you to be a king, and I to marry and become a useful and reliable queen. In the days before we married, it was evident we had the same expectations of our union, no sentimental notions. It made sense, and we were well-matched. At our wedding, we became king and queen. Away from our royal expectations, alone with each other, I think we both fell into becoming husband and wife. I’ve yearned for you these past weeks as well, and I couldn’t abide how impossible I thought my situation was, so sure I confident I would make for a good queen but discovering I wanted more. It was only when you went away that I felt the lack of something – an affection as I’d never had before, both for you and from you.”

He turns fully toward you and kisses you again, and instead of the demand and hunger, as he kisses now it’s driven only by the unrestrained yearning he confessed and that you admitted in return.

He pulls you into his lap, and you straddle him. He breaks the kiss to rid you of your nightdress entirely now instead of only pushing it out of the way as before, and then his lips immediately seek yours again. Your arms wrap around his neck, and his broad, warm hands are splayed across your back, pressing you flush to him, and you are just as eager to feel every inch of his skin seared against yours

He pauses his kiss, both of you utterly breathless now. You put a hand on his chest over his heart. He looks down and smiles at the gesture before looking up and beaming at you, but his small falters a fraction at the concentrated look on your face.

“What is it?”

You speak the notion that’s newly bloomed in your chest. “We are the only two people in the world with whom we can be totally ourselves, husband and wife, not the king and the queen, just a man and a woman.”

He nods fervently. “A new vow then between us: to both guard and embrace this as a true and unfettered love.”

You kiss him, but he only returns it briefly before pausing it again. “Do you swear it?” he asks.

You bob your head eagerly, seeking his lips, but he grips your chin, holding you back. “Words.”

“I swear it with everything I am.”

“As do I,” he affirms, then captures your lips again with his, moving you both again, this time lowering you worshipfully to the mattress. His mouth begins moving slowly down your neck, and you shiver, one hand coming up to tangle in his hair, the other clutching his muscled bicep. When he reaches the base of your neck, his tongue laves at the sweet spot he discovered there in your first precious days together, making you whimper. He then mouths at the spot and plants one more kiss there before moving lower. His lips skim lightly down your chest, kissing over where your heart is thrumming. He kisses the swell of your left breast, and then moves to mirror that action on the right. He brings his right hand up to palm one of your breasts as his tongue flicks across your nipple. He works to bring both to stiff peaks, licking and sucking the right while his hand plays with the left. Your back arches in pleasure at his ministrations.

He moves his mouth back to the other breast, and before you can think to miss his hand there, it’s confidently parting your thighs, seeking your now extremely wet folds.

“Steve.”

“That’s it, my love, let me make you feel good,” he says, and you whimper again. His fingers stroke your labia slowly. Your eyes close as he stokes your pleasure. He slips a finger into your core, pumping in and out. When he adds another finger, you can’t hold back the little noises that escape you. He presses his thumb to your clit, rubbing circles, and those little noises morph into a moan. Steve moves up now to hover over you, watching your face as he works you up to your first climax that night. You would feel too exposed if he had studied you this way during your first days together, but your confessions tonight to each other leave you now feeling safe being so intimately on display. When you cry out, hips bucking, he continues to stroke, working you through the orgasm.

He removes his fingers, and you need the moment, but lament the emptiness. His eyes are still on your face, and when your breathing is close to normal, you open your eyes and look back at him. Then you glance lower to see he’s pumping his hard, thick member with the hand that was still glistening with your slick of arousal. His eyes are aflame with his need, and he moves in to kiss you again. You welcome it, parting your lips and sliding your tongue between his. He opens for you, and as your tongues tease and delve, you roll and hungrily push him back on the mattress.

Steve grabs your hips with both of his hands and moves your body to straddle him. In place just where he wants you, chest to chest, you drop down to your elbows, planted on either side of his head. As you continue to kiss, he presses his hand down to the base of your spine and brushes his cock temptingly against your entrance. You push your hips back against him, and his chest hums with approval.

“Please,” you plead.

He doesn’t make you ask twice, using his other hand to guide his length into your quim. He doesn’t rush this push into you, but it’s not slow. Once fully sheathed, he moves his arms to circle around your chest, holding you close to him as he sets a steady pace thrusting up into you. He swallows your moans of ecstasy. When it begins to overwhelm you, you have to break off the consuming kiss to gulp lungful’s of air. Seeing you desperate like this above him drives his voracity.

Still buried inside you, he rolls to bring you beneath him once more. You cling to his shoulders, and he continues to advance toward release for both of you. He shifts the angle of his hips, and he’s rewarded with a pure keen from you. He continues to hit the spongy spot up against your pubic bone. You sob, so close, and this time the tears are pure pleasure. He grasps at one of your hands, and your fingers twine together. A few more thrusts and your walls flutter around him and then he your orgasm hits. Your spasming channel is too much, and with a groan he spills inside you right after.

He collapses against you, and you welcome the weight of his body. You’re both quiet in your moment of satiation. Your free hand draws lazy patterns over his shoulder blade as your breathing returns to normal. You wonder if he’s going to drop off into sleep, but then he repositions slightly, and asks, “Are you comfortable?”

“Mhmm,” you respond. You’re comfortable physically and intimately in this moment with him.

He brings your joined hands to his lips, and he kisses the back of your hand, then tucks it close to his chest and begins conversing with you – about the mundane, the important, things from the past few weeks apart, and from your lives apart before. There’s more kissing, followed by more pleasure, pulling each other apart in turn, and no sleeping until long after midnight.

You groan when he wakes you at what seems to be daybreak. You close your eyes again swiftly, and open your mouth to protest, but he cups your jaw and his thumb brushes over your parted lips. “I know it’s early,” he murmurs, “but I want to have you once more while we’re alone and unbothered.”

And when he says it like that, with such tenderness and longing, you wouldn’t dream of denying it for either of you. You hope to grow accustomed to many more stolen mornings over your lifetime together now.

COMPANION/PREQUEL PIECE: The Thrill of Knowing How Alone We Are

If you want to join the taglist for future fics, drop me a comment!

TAGLIST: @competitivedust, @royalwritersoftheuniverses, @alina02

If you enjoyed, reblog to help others find this story AND to normalize the fic-reblog culture. There are so many talented writers, and a reblog really fuels the muses of the soul more than you know - we all appreciate it whether we're big or little fish in this pond.

My askbox is always open.

[duckyfruitbat]

So Hbomberguy Dropped a Video on Plagiarism

Should I use allegedly again? Might as well cover my bases, this is what they teach you in journalism school kids!

This is related to the Illuminatii situation but she only makes a minor appearance in the video as a build up to the main subject and oh good lord. I completely forgot that Hbomberguy was involved in the drama after calling Illuminattii out for alleged plagiarism.

In this case it's not exactly traditional plagiarism because the sources are technically cited in the description, unlabeled. There are also a lot of opportunities to cite everything in the video with the source video as it plays, but the watermarks were often either blurred or cropped out. She often read out quotes word for word, the most egregious example Harris cited was the Brian Deer documentary on the study Andrew Wakefield performed that was the starting pistol for the modern antivax movement. Brian Deer's work was the only thing that actually was sourced in that video. Granted he is the expert on this exact situation, Deer was the one who brought down Wakefield. However; the citations were padded through citing individual people who were interviewed for Brian Deer's documentary.

In my previous post on Illuminatii I mentioned how I respected her for her journalistic integrity and her knack for research. Turns out she just lazily cobbled together videos in what I can confidently call a content farm. The only difference between her and other farmers is that she actually put a face behind it and as I mentioned before, gravely misjudged her audience.

Then there was a surprise appearance for a creator who I was subscribed to. James Somerton, a queer creator who focused on queer representation and themes, who was the main show for Hbomberguy's four hour epic. Illuminatii looked lazy for her lack of citations, but dear god, it would have been easier on James if he did just cite all his sources.

While Harris was breaking down one of Somerton's videos he determined that 90% was lifted from other sources, only half of which made it into the source document. At one point one of his sources that he plagiarized was subscribed to his patreon, key word was. This was a damning video, most of the works were lifted almost word for word with only minor changes, the things that weren't plagiarized ended up being either wrong, misogynistic, or both. At some point Somerton hired a writer to help and based on the comparisons Harris made of their writings, it's only Somerton that has an issue with writing his own work. Yes people have noticed, a lot. Somerton just covers his tracks when and accusation crops up. Usually by deleting and re-uploading a video, or addressing the allegations denying them, but often changing the story of how he came upon the information. Surely the time spent on damage control is just not worth it.

Now what have we learned this past weekend? We are in a terrible time to be plagiarist, especially if you have a reputation to uphold. It is far too easy to get caught, all it takes is one person hearing something familiar and looking into it. Hbomeberguy found most of the examples just through google search alone, sometimes google fixing the quote to match the original. Hbomberguy is working on creating a fund to help compensate the writers that Somerton plagiarized, and he tends to be really good at this sort of thing. Beyond that I don't see many good things coming to either Illuminatii's or James Somerton's channels.

[tzunako]

Spoilery things

So I guess I'll make another post after reading another one of the Twisted Tales books, this time "Conceal, Don't Feel" by Jen Calonita (a Finnish translated version again). I'll try my best to remember my impressions of the book, but it's been about a month now since I read it so don't know how well that's gonna go...

Anyway, this time around I'm gonna focus more on the story elements since the writing style itself was actually pretty smooth and easy to read (there were the weird empty pages at the end of the book again though...). I don't know if this is due to having a different author or that the translator (which was the same person who did the translation for the earlier book in the series I read "A Whole New World") made more of an effort but it was a significant improvement. There were a few things still I'd have done differently, but I'm gonna give a

SPOILER WARNING

first as from this point forward I'm gonna be talking about story points. So, the first thing I noticed wrong with this translation was that at one point in the story Elsa overheard/eavesdropped as her parents were talking about Anna (in this continuation, Elsa and Anna were raised separately from each other since they were small children and pretty much the only ones in the kingdom who could remember that Anna was a princess were their parents and Anna's adoptive family), but they don't use her name, only refering to her in third person pronouns. Later Elsa wonders about who the person they were talking about could of been and thinks that "they were talking about someone female" or something along those lines... expect she wouldn't be able to know that! Finnish language doesn't have gendered pronouns and I checked to make sure that, yes, there were no indicators in their conversation in anyway that would of given that away otherwise (often when faced with this dilemma, the Finnish translation will use some terms like "the woman/girl" if it's a plot point, but this time there was nothing). Another thing I thought would of worked better was if the translation of the direct quotes from the movie would of been taken directly from the Finnish dub of the movie, instead of the more direct translations we got in the book. Pretty much the only thing lifted from the dub was "Weaseltown".

Springing from the earlier point to the next one is that there were a lot of scenes and dialogue that were straight from the movie, but they were often being reframed as being in slightly different situations with different characters, and it made me roll my eyes a lot, especially when it didn't fit the characters to do so. Like, sure, I can buy that Anna and Elsa could have grown up to be different to their movie counterparts due to having grown apart from each other, but other than that why would for example Hans act in a similar manner to Anna by whispering "Elsa?" (my absolute number one Eye-roll Moment of the book) when her powers were revealed? Ughh... It felt very forced and like they were written in as just fan service to the fans of the film and so that the readers could go like that Leonardo DiCaprio pointing meme of recognizing something being from the movie.

There's also the fact that while the movie (excluding the beginning) takes place around one or two days, the books happenings go on for weeks/months (can't really remember the exact time but it was a lot more than in the movie) after Elsa ran away. This really drives home that one joke about how Elsa might have a nice ice palace now, but what is she gonna eat? Like you could overlook/explain it away in the movie that she was really away only for a day or so but in the book? when it was specifically mentioned that the winter "curse" has been going for quite a while now?

The ending of the book also felt really rushed/crammed, like the pacing suddenly took a sudden upturn in the last chapters. I don't know, maybe the author was having to meet a deadline but it really felt like towards the end the narration just wanted everything to be over and done with already and was hurrying to get to the finish line. Anna's resurrection was written in the most anticlimatic way possible, like...

There were still some other minor things I felt were off, but weren't really such a big deals overall, like how I felt that Hans was being too transparent and/or Anna and Elsa being able to read his true intentions a bit too easily when the narrative demanded or the fact that when Anna first met Kristoff as a 15 year old, she referred to him as a "boy around her age" when Kristoff was 18 at the time and I don't know, while three years isn't that big of a gap with adults I didn't think of 18 year olds as being about the same age as me when I was 15 (though it's not like Anna knew how old he was at time, maybe Kristoff was a lot smaller and looked younger than he was back then (in the book at least) or maybe there wasn't that many young people in Anna's home village overall (I remember that she said she went to school but can't remember what she said about her classmates/peers))

Anyway, I still think it was a decent book, it just unfortunately started deteriorating somewhere a bit before the middle point, which is too bad, I was considering buying this book for my cousin's daughter who likes Frozen, but now I guess I'll just encourage her to read a library copy like I did (though maybe this is for the better, libraries are there for reading after all and there's no reason to succumb to unneccessary consumerism...). Maybe it's just that I haven't really been reading literature targeted to 5th graders in a long while, maybe I'm being too harsh... (Though at the same time I also think it should be okay to ask for actual quality content for things, even (or especially) if they are meant "for children") Still, gonna read more Twisted Tales books, the next one is already on my list

[booksandwords]

Red Hot by Emma Alcott

Series: Tough Love Auto Body, #0.5   Read time: 1 Day Rating: 4/5

The quote: I’m not gay. I’m not. I swear to god. But the way Red looks at me, and the way he makes me feel… I can’t escape it. I couldn’t back then, and I sure as shit can’t now. Not even after everything. I’m his. And somehow, against all odds, he’s mine. — Diesel Cosgrove

As of the time I post this review Red Hot is unavailable for download (as far as I can see). It does have a wider role I do think it will become available again at some point.

It's been a long time since I had so much fun with a novella. This was free on Prolific Works (unfortunately no longer available) and the prequel or book #0.5 for an upcoming series, Tough Love Auto Body. I really recommend reading it if you can get your hands on it. Given the position of it is Emma Alcott's broader worlds I suspect she will make it available a some point. Either as is or slightly extended (as happened with another released in the same PW promotion). This feels like a second-chance romance with a twist. The twist is in the sexual identities. The angst/ hurdle, such as it is, for protagonists Diesel Cosgrove and Red* is that Diesel isn't gay but he wants nothing more than Red. Has never wanted anyone or anything as much as he wants Red. Something that hasn't changed since they were teens.

Diesel made me laugh. So many of the moments he found himself in, the phrases used were seemingly included just to bring a smile to the face of the reader. The language used for him is right on my wavelength but it could potentially be grating for some. Honestly, Diesel comes across as almost Australian in his mindset and language (suburban not the stereotype), that could be why I vibed with him. I liked Red. He is confident in who and what he is. He knows what he wants but knows what he isn't willing to sacrifice to have it. As much as he loves Diesel he will not be a secret or a shame.

I will say the sex is rough in a way that both parties are consenting to. I needed that consent for me to accept it. However, there is a brilliant disconnect between how they are kissing and interacting and how their bodies and hands are exploring. For this sort of story where they pick up right where they left off and Diesel is essentially uninterested in men other than one it just feels so right. And Red, Red is just desperate and knows exactly what he is doing when he plays with that fire.

Some quotes I liked.

Mom smiles when she sees me. She’s dressed casual today, which for her means plain black leggings and a leopard-print cami largely concealed by her uniform— a Tough Stuff t-shirt she modified to be sleeveless, cut deeply down the sides. Gone are her usual spiked belts and bracelets, but her makeup is as flawless as ever. A bold red lip with a dark and smoky wing. A makeup artist’s dream. — Mom is a badass. I guess she has to be in a world of men, she owns the body shop. She is definitely no push over but knows how to put her best foot forward. She has a soft spot too. She has glorious relationships with her sons, specifically Diesel. She leads the family in their teasing.

Teenage me found him highly fuckable, but the Red I knew from back then doesn’t hold a candle to the man he’s grown into. The one sitting across the room, eating me up with his eyes like he’s thinking the exact same thing about me. — This is great. I like the thought patterns here, they are just an insight into the truth that Diesel is struggling to admit to himself.

I get the distinct impression there isn’t a single part of him that doesn’t look like it’s been lifted from the pages of one of Jagger’s hornier art magazines. The man’s like a living sculpture. A Renaissance artist’s wet dream. — I'm sorry... I can't not include this. I'm weak for descriptions like this. Encouraging the reader to dwell to note that the attraction in almost short circuiting the protagonists mind. The line breaks, breaking up thoughts is fairly common and it suits Diesel. He's enjoying the ride and having Red back in his life.

I'm glad Emma Alcott kept it at the novella length to make it longer probably would have meant adding unnecessary drama or flashbacks. This was just a simple second chance, as the basic plot. There are times when families move and communication breaks down through no fault of either teen. The internet can help with communication but life still happens. and Maine and Illinois are likely in different time zones (if only by an hour). When a family owns their own body shop or any business? Diesel probably started working there early. It is a sweet way to introduce the brothers, presumably the protagonists of the Tough Love Auto Body series, Brick, Jagger and Spike. Diesel the second son has his story here and Onyx, known as Nyx, the youngest son has his story in Sweet Thing (Book 3 of the Masters of Romance series). While the other brothers all work in the family auto shop Nyx is a romance writer, with an endearing amount of social blindness. Reading this and hearing about Nyx made me really want to read his story.

*Red’s name isn’t revealed until the end. I will not include it here because spoilers. Let’s just say it’s fun.

[thefanficmonster]

My Kind

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warning: Swearing

Genre: Fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having been chosen by the gang to be a guest streamer on today’s stream of Among Us, it’s safe to say Y/N’s super excited but also a bit nervous. The whole of her anxiety gets lifted off her when she meets someone with the exact same vibe as hers - yeah you guessed it.

Requested by @monizzle96 Hi dear! Thank you so much for your wonderful request! I’m so terribly sorry it’s taken me so long to write and post it but here it finally is! I hope you come across it and read it and if so I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤

This has to be the fiftieth time I’ve checked my setup in the past twenty four hours. But no, I’m definitely not nervous, what are you talking about. Pshhh. Nah, being nervous isn’t in my brand. Plus, what do I have to make me nervous - a group of famous streamers inviting me onto their stream to play Among Us with them because they enjoyed my own streams? Ok yeah, that’s a pretty good reason. Not gonna lie, I almost chucked my phone out of excitement when I received that DM from Toast, telling me they’d picked me to be their guest streamer for today’s date. My stomach was doing somersaults for a good forty-eight hours following that text and then the anxiety slowly started setting in fueled by the expectations they probably have of me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not inexperienced in the streaming field, I’ve been a streamer longer than some of the members of Toast’s streamer gang actually. But I never managed to garner that big of a following which I’m honestly quite ok with. I have a modest - ok, maybe larger than modest - following consisting of incredibly loyal fans which I will never stop being grateful for. They are all so respectable of me, my privacy and my boundaries. They know the main rules: no shit-talking in the chat or in any of my comment sections, no bashing other YouTubers in my comments/chat, and most definitely not asking for a face reveal. Fun fact: I didn’t even set up that last rule, they all just collectively know not to ask for it. 

I’ve been keeping my brand pretty low-key to avoid garnering some unwanted attention - some of which I’ve already experienced on certain social media platforms following the full body pictures I posted on there - face not visible of course. I tend to also have my webcam on, facing towards my hands working away on the keyboard sometimes when I stream. I don’t know why people obsess over faceless content creators’ hands, but I appreciate the enthusiasm - it also drives me to do a manicure every now and then which ain’t so bad, self-care and all that you know.

Now, back to the subject of my ridiculous nervousness.

You see, it has layers.

I’m nervous of ‘preforming’ underwhelmingly and I’m nervous of what my own fans will think of the person I will become during this stream. They know me as a super chill and laid-back person, which I am by the way, but they might think I’m putting on a show if I exhibit any nervous gestures/vocabulary. I highly doubt they would, but the possibility is not letting my mind rest. And now that it’s about ten minutes till the stream starts, I’m getting doing my best to calm my nerves.

They are all just people. You know they are super chill too. Just be yourself, that’s why they invited you, because you are yourself on all your streams. They liked you for your personality, humor, maybe even your gaming skills. So chill the hell out and be yourself, damn it!

Easier thought than put into action that’s for sure.

I start my stream five minutes early just so I can vibe with my viewers for a little while before I have to meet the gang. My fans always have a way of injecting me with confidence, they remind me of where I was when I started and how far I’ve come. How much I achieved when I thought I’d be nothing and no one, someone the algorithm would simply overlook. But then they entered my life and I entered theirs and it all became much better than I ever thought it would get to be. I rarely tell myself ‘good job’ for the milestones I’ve reached or the hard work I’ve put into my content, but that’s probably cause I orient myself based on that quote from the movie Whiplash: ‘There are no two words in the English language more harmful than good job’ - simply put, I’m never satisfied with what I do and I always strive to do better. My fans, however, make sure I don’t go overboard with it - always serving as a reminder that I’ve done plenty for myself and others. And that’s what makes an amazing fandom, one I consider family.

Whoa, when did those five minutes fly by?!

Ah shit, here we go. Deep breaths, Y/N you got this.

“Hello!“ I say as I enter the Discord call, subconsciously biting my lower lip, grateful the camera isn’t capturing it. However, I make a mental note to keep my hands steady cause that’s the one part of me people can actually see and the last thing I want is for them to see how much my fingers are trembling.

“Oh hi, Y/N!“ Toast is the first one to greet me, “Welcome to the stream! Thank you so much for accepting our invitation.“

“Thank you for having me and inviting me, Toast. This is a huge deal for me. You guys are basically YouTube legends, this is unreal to me.“ I reply, cringing immediately afterwards because of my fangirl rambling. Great way to make first impressions, Y/N. Bravo.

To be fair, they already have an impression of you. Quit stressing.

Aright, you’ve got a point, me.

“Oh please, we owe all that to our fans. We’re really nothing special. All streamers are almost completely alike, we all owe where we are to the people who helped us make it there - our fans. We’re no legends.“ Toast says, bringing a small smile to my face as well as a light pink blush to my cheeks, “And from what I’ve seen, you yourself have quite the following. And your fans seem to adore you.“

“And I absolutely adore them.“ I chuckle, “They mean the world to me. They are the reason I’m here today.”

“Then we have to give them a special thank you, don’t you think?“ The teasing, familiar giggle, widens my smile - it’s Rae, “Nice to meet you, Y/N! I’m Rae, and, no cap, I’m quite a fan of your content. No joke, I binged your entire series of Resident Evil 7 as soon as I found your channel when Toast said he’d invite you.“

This rattles me a bit. I can hardly believe it - am I really receiving a compliment from an A-list name in the streaming world? My fans must be hella proud of me right now. A quick glance at my chat confirms that they indeed are. That in and of itself fills me with joy and newfound confidence.

“Oh Gosh, thank you so much Rae! That means the world to me. You’re all so sweet.“ I reply, lifting my ice cold hands to cool down my burning cheeks, my lips spread into a grin, my stomach filled with butterflies.

“Oh please, we have some real savages around here.“ A male voice, seemingly Charlie’s scoffs, “Don’t overlook us please.“

“Wait, we do?“ A deep voice, one I immediately know the owner of speaks up, “Who? How come I don’t know about that?“

I can’t help bust snort, “Nice to meet you, Corpse. Sarcasm central, I see.”

He laughs, “Just returning it to where it’s due. Nice to meet you too, Y/N. Sick Outlast series, by the way.“

Ok, wait, I have two A-list streamers complimenting my content. Ok, I’m bound to crack open a few beers to celebrate later cause OH MY GOD.

“Thanks! I’m a horror junkie so I’d be lying if I said I haven’t binge watched all your story-times. Personal favorites are the deep web ones, they fascinate me.“

“Oh, you’re one of my kind even more than I expected, huh?“ He replies, the tone of his voice changing, raising a bit due to what I can only describe as excitement and enthusiasm. “I’ve had people tell me it’s twisted, but I really like seeing the lengths to which the fucked up human mind can go to. Like, the shit I’ve read is insane! Some stories I didn’t narrate cause I would’ve probably had my video taken down, it was that messed up.“

My eyes widen, sharing the same excitement at the thought of digging deeper into this phenomenon, “Careful, Corpse, you’re walking a dangerous line of tempting me to deep-dive on Reddit in search of those exact stories.”

“No need.“ Corpse says, his tone now taking up a bit of a cocky note, “I still got them all saved, I can send them to you no problem.“

“Please do! I seriously gotta read them now. If I can’t sleep afterwards, I’m blaming you, Corpse. Just FYI.“ I say, giggling slightly, finding myself all but completely comfortable now. I wonder where all that anxiety went? 

“Blame fully taken. Given that I’m not much of a sleeper, I’ll keep you company whenever you think there’s a killer hiding in your closet or fear a red room pop-up will appear on your computer screen.“ He replies, chuckling.

“Um, that’s oddly specific.“ Charlie comments, “Been there yourself, buddy?”

“Perhaps.“ Corpse wheezes, getting a laugh out of me too, “I will neither confirm nor deny.“

“You know what, I’ll just private message you my number so if you see it call you at some ungodly hour, you don’t freak the fuck out. Sounds good?“ I ask, already prepping to type it out and send it to him. 

“Perfect. Wait...“ he pauses for a second, sounding puzzled for a second, “You don’t have mine.“

“Oh, do I not?“ I reply with a sinister tone - thought to answer the question, I of course don’t have his number.

“Oh, do you?“ He sasses me right back. “If so then you don’t need me to send it to you. Cool.“

Ah, shit

“Wait, no! I-I need to confirm it’s the correct one!“

Damn, never did I think I’d be complimented by some of the most important streamers on this platform, but to get a number of theirs too? That’s a whole another level that will take me time to process. But I’ll do that another time, right now, I have to kick these people’s butts in Among Us and later I have some deep web stories to read.

Turns out, all it takes to get comfortable in a new surrounding is someone of your kind. And Corpse is definitely one of my kind.

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse

[adorethedistance]

Perfect Harmony - Luke Patterson x Reader

JATP masterlist

Warnings: swearing, borderline anxiety attack, sensual intimacy

Words: 1621

Summary: Y/n is completely in love with Luke but is too blind to see he feels the exact same way. And a relationship between the two of them? Like that’ll ever happen. He likes Julie... right?

A/N: Two imagines in one day??? Yeah I’m ignoring all responsibility, and also proofreading :/ Also, in this universe, Julie actually goes for Nick and doesn’t have a thing for Luke just to clear that up, bc if not the entire plot line is GONE lmao.

“Hello? Earth to Y/n!”

“Hm? What?” Instead of filling me in on the information I missed, Julie folds her arms across her chest and smirks.

“You were off in dreamland thinking about him again, huh?”

“No, no of course not,” I mimic her posture by crossing my arms as well, only I’m far less comfortable than she is. I look more on the defensive, cowering into myself, but Julie’s confidence is enviable.

“I promise I was listening to your setlist plans, I just-”

“Got distracted?” Instead of replying, I bow my head so I don’t have to look her in the eyes.

“Anyway, I was thinking we could close the show with Luke’s song?”

“Unsaid Emily?”

“No, the one about you.” I freeze at Julie’s words.

“Luke hasn’t written a song about me,” I laugh out of discomfort, but Julie laughs sincerely. This can’t be right. What does she know that I don’t? A tiny sliver of panic begins to prick my heart and Julie picks up on my unease. “Y/n, Perfect Harmony is about you.” Now it’s my turn to laugh sincerely,

“No it’s not. You and Luke wrote that together. That’s your song.”

“Child, that song is not about me,” she scoffs, walking over to the piano bench. She lifts the lid to scrounge up the original sheet music. Unknowingly interrupting our conversation, Alex poofs into the studio on the opposite side of the piano from us, startling me slightly.

“What’s going on?” He asks obliviously. Julie smirks and then, she slides the messy sheet music across the piano to him.

“Y/n, here, doesn’t think Perfect Harmony is about her,” she shoots me a pointed look. Alex’s head snaps up at her words.

“Who does she think it’s about?”

“Me.”

“How?!?”

“But, Luke is totally into you Julie. Otherwise he would have written the song alone… right?” I ask looking between the two musicians. My face heats to a temperature equal to the surface of the actual sun. This isn’t happening.

“Y/n. Were you there when we wrote the song?”

“...Well, no-”

“So you don’t know what happened in the studio that day.” Hesitantly tearing my eyes from Julie, I look at Alex to plead for someone to be on my side. He isn’t.

“...What happened in the studio that day?” I begin to ask but trail off into a whisper, defeated by my own shyness once again.

“Luke asked me to write that song with him, because he didn’t know how to ‘put you into words’,” she says using air quotes. The gesture makes me smile because that’s very easy to imagine. Very on brand for him. “He said because this song was about you, it needed to be the most perfect song in the universe.”

Alex moves closer so as to stand next to me; we look at the sheet music together.

“Step into my world, I mean, he’s a ghost so, this is his way of saying he wants to be close to you. Bittersweet love story 'bout a girl, Bittersweet because you’re totally awesome but a lifer and this love story he’s conjured feels one sided because he doesn’t know what you think-”

“I don’t even know what I think,” I interrupt in my defense. He continues,

“Shook me to the core, Voice like an angel, I've never heard before,” Alex reads emphasizing the inflection on the pronouns within the song. “Y/n, Luke may be an idiot, but the rest of us aren’t. Just listen to these lyrics, dude, he’s totally whipped.”

“All this time I thought that song was about Julie… are you sure he likes me?”

“He loves you,” Julie sighs out of frustration.

“But a song is just a song, this could just be his heightened emotions, it probably doesn’t mean anything-”

“You don’t get it,” Julie matches my increasing volume level, “You don’t see the way he looks at you when you’re not looking at him. Perfect Harmony is about you, and based on the weirdo behavior you’ve been sporting lately, I can tell you feel the same way.” Once again, Julie is right. Hell if I’ll admit it though.

“Even if you are right, what the hell am I supposed to do about it? I mean, you can’t just approach someone you’re best friends with and say ‘hey, I know you’re in love with me because you wrote this special song, but don’t freak out because I’m in love with you, too!’ I mean, that’s ridiculous!” I rant pleadingly, collecting the scattered sheet music and organizing it into one pile. “At this point I should just have one of you talk to him for me,” I say, readjusting my sweater across my shoulders, and heading for the garage door, “Because if you think I’m capable of telling Luke to his face that I think I’m in love with him, you have to be out of your mind-” my rant is cut off by my own voice dropping to silence. Stepping across the threshold of the garage door, I see Luke standing against the wall of the house. Even though they can’t see him, Alex and Julie know exactly what just happened.

Both of us stand frozen, lips parted in shock, eyes wider than usual.

“Oh no,” I sigh, entering a full on breaking down. My panic carries me back into the studio and I begin to pace a short trench in the center of the room. Luke followed me inside slowly, cautiously, as if I’ll self-destruct with any sudden movement.

I don’t notice Luke’s ushering Julie and Alex to leave until he speaks up and the two are nowhere to be seen.

“Y/n?” he coaxes, trying to deescalate by breaking down my force field of anxiety. I stop pacing when I hear his voice, but I’m still too uneasy for his liking.

“Can we sit?” He gestures to the couch behind me, and after a moment of thinking, I nod a quick yes. Luke sits first to pick an isolated position, allowing me to choose how close together we are. I opt for a good two feet between us.

“How much did you hear?” I ask, unsure if I actually want the answer.

“Alex and I came together.”

“Fuck-”

“They were right.”

“About what?”

“Everything,” he shrugs, angling his body to face mine even more. “Perfect Harmony is about you, I asked Julie to help me write you into a perfect song, I am a ghost-” I let out a small laugh at his understated sentiment, which allows me to relax a little bit more. My relief relaxes him as a result and a big grin is plastered on his stupid, beautiful face. “And I think I love you.”

“You think?”

“Okay, I know I love you,” he clarifies in response to my hesitation. “Were you telling the truth? When you said you think you love me, too?” After a moment’s hesitation, I nod yes.

Luke extends an upturned palm to me, and I don’t break eye contact as I place my hand in his larger one. With the new contact, he pulls me closer, ridding us of our two feet separation. Then, Luke releases my hand, and brings his other hand up to place his thumb on my bottom lip, tilting my chin upward with the rest of his hand.

My eyes never leave his, but he breaks the eye contact to watch the pad of his thumb trace the outline of my lower lip. One last look from my lips back to my eyes is a silent question of ‘whether’, to which I nod yes very softly. My permission lowers his thumb from my lip, and he uses the rest of his hand to tilt my chin up further. Tilting his head to the left, Luke looks down to bring his lips to mine, but stops as his hot breath ghosts over my parted lips. He’s waiting for me to close the gap, and I do. Slowly, then fervently. My eyes flutter shut and fireworks blast.

All the time I’d spent thinking of how it would feel to have his lips on mine doesn’t even come close to the real thing. He’s being gentle enough that I can tell how sincerely he must love me, and yet, he’s being firm enough that I can tell how passionately he wants this. Wants us.

Breaking away from the kiss, I pull away far enough to look into his eyes,

“Is this what you really want? A relationship with me?” my insecurity is prevalent despite the kiss we just shared.

“That's the goal…?” he says more as a question than a statement. I laugh with my whole heart at this massive dork I can now call mine.

“Okay,” I whisper through a smile far too vibrant to stifle, closing in on the negative space between our bodies.

Luke kisses me back once more but before I can deepen the kiss, he places his fingertips on my chest and pushes me back so I fall on the length of the studio couch. The action makes me laugh, but I’m rendered breathless when he moves to practically planking on top of me.

“Wow, you’re so strong!” I jokingly compliment him, tracing a line up the length of his muscular arms with my nails. He laughs heartily, and leans down to kiss me once more.

“Not on the couch!” Alex intervenes, clueing the two of us in that Julie and Alex never left, but instead, set up camp outside the garage door. Luke and I laugh even harder, and he lays his head on my chest in defeat. There, we laid, laughing and in love, in perfect harmony.

***

Taglist: @caitsymichelle13​ @kaitlyn2907​

[shemarmooresfedora]

Rebuilding Family

Summary: Y/N and Spencer were college sweethearts at Cal-Tech but once Spencer got accepted to the FBI Academy, he ended things deciding it was not fair to make Y/N wait for him. When they meet again years later, he discovers something unexpected.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings: brief mentions of alcohol consumption, allusions to sex

A/N: so you know how last chapter i said there was going to be like 4 chapters left…sorry i lied. as much as it pains me to admit since i’m so attached to this little family, i feel this story is coming to its natural end and i don’t want to drag it out (i may do one-shots of this series in the future though!) that being said, this is the second to last chapter. i appreciate all of your continued support throughout this series <3

Masterlist

Chapter 36

You opened the front door to the house after your therapy appointment. You had been making a lot of progress.

Spencer and the kids used to go with you and then wait at the park across the street until you were done but you had decided that this time you could go alone. Spencer hugged you tightly before you left and said how proud of you he was, reminding you of your calming exercises for the waiting room, and to call him if you got too overwhelmed. Luckily, your anxiety had not gotten the better of you and your appointment went fine.

You could hear the opening notes to Golden by Harry Styles playing. Once the beat dropped, you heard Spencer say, “Okay, go babies, go!”

You rounded the corner to see Spencer conducting a dance party for the twins in their bouncy jumpers and Jo who was wearing her Rapunzel dress.

“Ollie,” Spencer crouched down to the rather stationary baby, “Look at your sisters! See, copy them! We’ll all bounce.”

While Ophelia was very audible and energetic, Ollie was more reserved. This concerned you and Spencer a bit because he would hardly cry and you had no idea what was going on with him or if he needed anything.

As Spencer backed up to start dancing as well, you pulled out your phone and hit record just in time to see Spencer accidentally bounce into the couch and trip and fall flat on his face.

Ollie giggled. Spencer shot up from the ground. Ollie had never done that before. Ophelia’s first laugh was a few weeks ago but nothing seemed to be funny enough for Ollie until his Daddy fell.

Spencer scrambled to get his phone, “Jo, can you record for Mommy? I’m going to fall again.”

You decided this was the time to make your presence known.

“That won’t be necessary,” you announced with a smile, ending the video you took.

“You heard?” Spencer beamed.

“Yep, got it on video too,” you walked over to the jumpers and lifted up Ollie, giving him a bunch of kisses, “You were really going to hurt yourself again just so I could have a video of our son laughing?”

“Absolutely, I was,” he grinned.

“You’re an idiot,” you chuckled.

“You’re the one who fell in love with an idiot,” he replied.

“I guess that makes us both idiots then,” you sighed happily.

“But idiots in love,” he kissed you.

You blew a raspberry and tickled Ollie’s little belly and he started giggling hysterically again.

-

Spencer was with twins on the floor on a blanket doing some ‘tummy time’ while Jo sat on the couch watching cartoons.

“Why can’t me and the babies come with you and Mommy for dinner like we usually do?” Jo asked.

“Because a year ago today, Mommy and I got married so we want to go out to a fancy restaurant and celebrate our love for each other. But, we’ll go out together as a family soon again and Uncle Derek and Auntie Penelope will be watching you tonight.”

“Okay,” Jo instantly agreed.

You clicked down the stairs in your high heels, carefully holding the railing. Spencer stood to help and offered his hand to you for support.

You were dressed in a midi A-line black corset dress with a white floral design.

“You look absolutely stunning as usual, my love,” he kissed your hand.

“As do you, my husband of officially a year,” you beamed.

He kissed you on the lips this time as the door opened.

“Kids night!” Penelope exclaimed, running into the house with Derek in tow. “I brought board games, ice cream, and every Disney movie DVD I own.”

“Auntie Penelope!” Jo hugged her and then Derek.

Then, Penelope turned to you both, “What are you guys still doing here?”

“Emergency numbers are on the fridge. We’ll both have our phones on the whole time,” you repeated the information you had told them many times before as you were pushed out the door by Penelope.

“Oh, also recent development!” Spencer added as he tried to resist Derek’s pushing, “The twins are avid crawlers now so if you set them down for a second and look away, they’ll be gone.”

“Good to know. Enjoy your night, you two,” Derek winked as he shut the door.

“So where are we going?” you asked as you walked hand and hand to the car.

Spencer opened the passenger side door for you, “We are going to the restaurant where we had our first date, my dear,” he smiled.

-

Spencer had rented a private patio for the two of you with lit candles, fairy lights, and a bouquet of wildflowers similar to the one you carried down the aisle a year ago.

You gasped when you saw the set-up, “I love you so much, Spencer Reid.”

“I love you more, Mrs. Reid.”

You and Spencer ordered the exact same dishes that you got on your first date for maximum nostalgia.

“There is something I wanted to talk to you about,” Spencer spoke mid-meal.

You set your fork down to show him he had your full attention.

“So I was thinking about what I want to do this summer. You’re off of work for the summer so we’ll both be home with the kids. I figured I should take up some sort of project to keep my mind stimulated,” he explained.

“Go on...” you took a sip of your wine.

“I think I want to become an author,” he stated.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea. Any idea what genre?” you smiled softly.

“At first, I was thinking about something related to my time at the BAU but then I realized I’ve had enough of that as is and I don’t feel like reliving it. Now, I’m thinking more along the lines of fiction because during all my years of schooling, I never really got to explore my creative side. I think a kid’s book could be fun for me to write. And I could work on it whenever the kids were napping or at school,” he explained to you.

“Whatever makes you happy, love. I can’t wait to read what that beautiful brain of yours comes up with,” you grinned, “This also makes my gift for you even better.”

“Y/N, we agreed no gifts,” he rolled his eyes playfully.

“It’s just something small that made me think of you,” you pouted, reaching into your purse.

You handed him something wrapped in a thin layer of pale purple tissue paper. Inside was a beautiful leather journal. It had a quote inscribed on it.

‘Do not be afraid; our fate cannot be taken away from us; it is a gift’ -Dante Alighieri

“You just saw this and happened to think of me?” he asked, amused, “How is it customized with our initials and wedding date then?”

“Fine,” you relented, “I ordered it off Etsy a while ago.”

“Good thing I also didn’t listen to our agreement,” he smirked, “But mine isn’t as sentimental and it’s really a gift for us both.”

“I’ll love it just the same,” you assured him.

“We are not going home tonight. The fairy godmother volunteered her and Derek’s services all night so I booked us a room at a bed and breakfast and I already packed you a bag in the backseat of the car.”

You started stuffing pasta into your mouth, “Eat faster. I want to go as soon as possible.”

Spencer chuckled at your eagerness.

-

Spencer felt you trying to sneak out of bed to get your phone.

“What are you doing?” he mumbled at the loss of your warmth.

“I just want to check on the kids. This is our first night away from the twins,” you grabbed your phone, putting on Spencer’s button up, and facetiming Penelope.

She picked up on the second ring, “Hello, my lovely.”

“Hey, Pen. Are the kids behaving for you guys?”

“Yes. They’re all sleeping soundly now. Me and Derek are just binging episodes of The Bachelorette now.”

“That’s great to hear. No spoilers though!”

“How is your night going?” she inquired.

“It’s good, it’s good. Dinner was nice. The hotel is nice,” you tried to avoid the obvious.

“Y/N, your makeup is completely smudged and I can see the collar of Spencer’s shirt around your neck,” she replied.

You heard Derek laughing in the background, “Proud of you, lover boy.”

“Okay, we’ll see you in the morning,” Spencer hung up the phone for you.

“What did you do that for?”

“Round 2,” he smirked.

taglist (just ask to be added or removed!): @samuel-de-champagne-problems @g0lden-cth @spencerreid9 @averyhotchner @coldlilheart @k-k0129 @ickleronniekinsemotionalrange @harrystylesandthegoobs @cmily @jswessie187 @rem-ariiana @hoodpankow @mochionly @spencerreid-187 @doctorreiding @reidsfish

[sachi-nakamura]

@uwuthatshit @papuru666 I hope you are having a nice time today, maybe this will cheer you up :)

This is a small thing I wrote to expose some of Sachi's thoughts, how she views her relationship with her Master and to show her feelings. If there's support I'll write more scenarios of master/slave (not sexual, not yet) so please reblog ✨ thank you.

⛓️Puppet⛓️

A scenario in the torture chamber

Kanato x Sachi

Master/slave relationship

Not explicit but at least +13

Abusement, sub/dom, not sexual

Words count: 1.335

On random occasions, a sense of sporadic rational thinking comes across my brain, judging me for the decisions I've made in these past days and doubting seriously the poor condition of my mental health, worse each passing day.

Am I doing the right thing?

I couldn't answer my own question when I snapped out my thoughts at the cold feeling of metal handcuffs on my wrists.

I totally forgot I was in his torture chamber.

What a nice place, perfect for the ideal romantic date I've always dreamt about.

If only I didn't give up on that silly idea time ago, now having to conform to this kind of treatment and all the perverse thoughts that come across his mind.

Not so long ago I was just Juliet waiting for her Romeo.

The red haired, green-eyed Romeo.

But as Mom always told me, reading fictional stories and having fantasies is the only way childish women who can't face the real world can experience the ideal version of love they have in their, I quote, stupid and malformed brains.

Well, Romeo and Juliet's love story isn't exactly a good example of an ideal relationship but you get the point.

Oops, I think I've been avoiding my situation (once again), where were we?

Oh yes, the handcuffs. And him.

Not the boy with ginger hair I dreamt about but a porcelain-looking young man, with the most delicately chosen clothes and eyes that glimmer like amethysts.

He looked at me, having to lift his head to look right into my eyes, and I noticed that every time he has to do this motion he  suppresses a frustrated grimace.

Adorable.

-If only you could stay still I wouldn't have to resort to this, even though having you like this is not that inconvenient, it's just another proof of how badly trained you are. What a disgrace, and you call yourself my slave? You should be ashamed.- he was right, I always cover my body unconsciously when he hurts me. Last time was when he was about to brand new one of his latest acquisitions, a beautiful silver dagger, with me, and I couldn't avoid covering my torso with my arms.

As a result, now I have even more scars in my forearms. Cool.

-I'm really sorry, Kanato-sama. I'll try to behave more properly next time.

He ignored my response and adjusted the handcuffs, locking them and putting the little key that would open them (I hope) in his pocket.

I wonder what it's gonna be this time.

A knife, daggers, a whip, hot wax?

Limitless choices, this was like the equivalent for him to being in Disneyland.

The only difference was that in his Disneyland there's only one ride: me.

His slender fingers slowly caressed my left cheek, where I have one of my recent bruises, covered by a boring, white bandaid. My face sure looks miserable.

My Master furrowed his eyebrows as his touch turned more and more aggressive, causing my wound to stink, ignoring the little pained whine that escaped from my lips the exact moment his nails tried to enter into my skin

He hates this wound.

Because he is not the cause of it.

Mom always knows how to find new, exciting ways to torture me, incapable of formulate the minimum attempt of a rational thought and justifying her hatred towards me by declaring herself a saviour sent by God.

I think she is frustrated by the fact that every day, when I leave home to go to school, I always return.

I would bet my entire book collection that what she truly desires is me, coming back home from classes and when I'm about to end crossing the street that separates me from the hell I call home a drunk motherfucker driving a gigantic truck (or better, a school bus full of innocent infants, more dramatic), runs over me and smashes me into the pavement, guts and what once was a functional brain spilled everywhere, an unlucky old woman passing by screaming until she has a heart attack and Mom seeing all the scene from the window of our shitty apartment, smiling slightly (does she know how to smile?) to then look away, keep reading the newspaper, or the Bible, who cares, and lazily sipping her "morning" coffee due to the fact that it is 3:00 am, thinking to herself that all of this was in God's plan.

Anyways, you can start visualising the type of person my mother is, can't you? Of course she wouldn't hesitate to damage my face.

And Kanato hates her for that.

And I love him for that.

-Hey, tell me, Puppet.-I hate that nickname, "Puppet", he can't even grant me the honour of calling me his "Doll".- I'm sure I've already told you several times but up here isn't exactly your place, right, Teddy? -Teddy doesn't say anything, sitting carefully on the table where Kanato lines up all the instruments he plans to use on me whenever we come here.- Yes, Teddy I agree. Time to fix that.-

The second after he said this he pushed me onto the ground, making me stay on my knees, grabbing the chain that is attached to the collar he forces me to wear and lifting it up, making me look up at him forcefully. My neck ached. 

-Now that's better.- he chuckled.- the proper place for a good slave.-

I nodded, immersed in his beautiful purple irises that made me forget about everything else and the fact that I still didn't know what he was planning to do with me tonight.

Then suddenly, without any warning, he slapped my face, right into my bruised cheek.

-Answer with words.-

-I agree, Master.- it hurts.

It hurts so much, everything he does to me.

But how oddly good it feels, to be loved this way.

-What game should we play today, Puppet? You are still sore from yesterday, aren't you? That cut on your back was so deep I almost reached the bone, fufu, lovely, I want to see that sight of you one day, no meat left, only bones… should I end your life by cremating your body? I'll have to think about it...- 

While he was saying such romantic words, he kneeled down to be at my level and started undoing the buttons of my shirt, exposing what I was reserving for my knight in the silver armour some time ago, when I still had hope. A silent tear tragically freed itself, sliding through my face slowly, slowly…

I wanted to be in his doll collection so badly...

Wait, is that the reason?

I'll pretend it is.

He kissed my neck, making me shiver at the contact of his cold lips on one of my most sensitive spots and removed my clothes until only my brassiere stayed in the way. I'm unable to stop his motions, the handcuffs laughing at me and my tragic fate.

Despite that, and I might sound like a fool, I wanted this.

I wanted him to do a hundred things to me. This time, I craved it, for his cold hands to roam my whole body, for the silver dagger he wanted to use on me, for the black whip he uses when he considers I'm being specially naughty that day…

I want...

I…

…

My purple haired Master removed the tear from my face and tasted it, as if my suffering was his nutrient source.

-You won't be able to cover yourself today, and today no one will come to bother us.  So let's have fun, shall we? All night long…- and then, he smiled. I expected a maniac grin but no, he smiled, sweetly.

Like candy.

So I melted into his sugary words and acted like a perfect, still puppet.

For his entertainment.

For the illusion I created in my head.

…

And then, something broke the silence.

Another bloodstain to decorate the room.

And another tear that escaped from my soul…

[whimsicallyreading]

Eight Second Ride

Part Three-

(Part Two)

“So you are telling me-“ Aedion scowls from the other side of her bed, “you ditched me for a sweaty bull rider and didn’t even last an hour into the date?”

Aelin shoves a spoonful of cookies and cream ice cream into her mouth and sniffles. “That’s all you got from my story?”

He slings an arm over Aelin’s shoulders and she lays her head on his chest gratefully. She’d caught an Uber back to her apartment where Aedion was already camped out waiting for her.

One look at her mascara smeared face, and he’d made a pillow fort on her bed. Complete with ice cream and “Little Women” playing on his phone.

“No, I got the whole chauvinistic asshole, bit.” Aedion stabs his spoon into the container and breaks up a particularly large piece of Oreo. “I just decided to focus on the part that doesn’t make me want to leave you hear and go and kill him right now.”

“I thought cowboys were supposed to be classy.” Aelin watched Jo play with her sisters in their attic on Aedion’s tiny screen. “Take city girls into the country to ride a horse and show them a bigger purpose in life, kind of shit.”

“Hallmark is such a liar.” Aedion huffs and squeezes her shoulder a little tighter. “I’m sorry, Lin. I know going out tonight was a big step for you. It’s a shame he acted the way he did.”

It was rare Aelin acted on a whim these days. Not like she used to do when she was in high school. She felt a pull to go with Rowan, but her gut had led her into a situation that could have gone south very quickly.

It’s a hard thing when you can’t trust yourself.

“No. I shouldn’t have gone. Especially not alone.” Aelin’s feels her thoughts drifting. Creeping towards that iron box of memories she keeps locked tight. “It’s my mistake.”

“No.”

The fervor in Aedion’s voice draws her attention up to his face, and Aelin is jarred by the intensity of his expression. “Aedion-“

“It’s not your fault.” His voice is gravely, and his blue eyes flicker like the heart of a flame. “I don’t give a shit what that bastard thought you accepting his invitation meant. You don’t owe him sex because he buys you a drink.”

“Aedion-“ Aelin tries to interrupt again. A new wave of tears burns her eyes, but Aedion is on a roll and he isn’t going to quite down until he gets out what’s on his mind.

“You don’t deserve to be treated like an object that can be bought.” Aelin can’t look him in the eyes any longer, but a calloused hand guides her face to the crook of his neck.

“His friends are shitty. He should have made them shut up. Ogling you, and making you feel unsafe and uncomfortable aren’t funny jokes.” Aedion goes on as Aelin sniffles into his shirt.

“You deserve respect. It doesn’t matter what you are wearing, what he buys you, or what his expectations are. His behavior isn’t your fault.” Aedion whispers against the top of her head.

Aelin wraps the arm that isn’t squished under her, around his waist. “I love you, Brother Wolf.”

“I love you too, Fireheart.” Aedion kisses her forehead and tugs her closer, the old terms of endearment are exchanged between them with ease.

“I know you are still dealing with everything that happened a couple years ago. I’m happy to remind you how worth it you are whenever you need.”

Aedion was an island of safety in the turbulent ocean of her life. Even when Aelin was small, she’d often go to him before her own parents with her problems. He was steady, and calm. The exact opposite of her own personality.

After the incident, he hadn’t rested until she was safely at his side again. Aedion stood by her faithfully as she picked up the broken pieces of her life and held her hand as she tried to make something new from them.

“How come you already had this movie downloaded onto your phone?” Aelin teased lightly, trying to lighten the mood. “Did you suddenly develop a sense of taste?”

Aedion purses his lips. “Lysandra said this movie is, and I quote, the most accurate depiction of the female experience.” He shakes his head. “I’ve tried to watch it three times, and I still can’t figure out what it’s even about.”

“You are a simple minded creature, cousin.” Aelin grabs her spoon and scoops a melty bite of ice cream into her mouth. “Thank you for coming over.”

“Anytime, Lin.” He leans his cheek on her head as the scene on his phone shifts from the cooler grey tones of the present, back to the warm colors that represented better days. “Anytime.”

~~~

The day started off better than she expected.

Aedion was gone when she woke up- he had to rise at an ungodly hour to make it to the fire station on time.

Yet, he set her alarm clock for her so Aelin woke up in time to get ready for work. He’d also set a glass of water and an Advil tablet on her bedside table to curb the headache she was sure to have from crying.

Aelin made it out the door with enough time to stop and get coffee on the way. She even splurged and got a chocolate hazelnut Frappuccino with enough sugar to smooth her wounded feelings.

It was going so well, Aelin should have known it was the universe winding up to screw her.

It was only a couple hours before she closed shop when Lorcan Salvaterre stepped through her front door.

“Holy shit, it’s you.” Were the first words from his mouth. His dark eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Rowan is going to flip when I tell him I actually found you.”

“What are you doing here?” Aelin’s slammed a stack of books on the counter.

Lorcan looked pensive. “Rowan said you mentioned owning a book store-“ he drags a hand through his dark hair. “I felt like I ruined his chance with you, so I thought I maybe if I apologized-“

“Let me stop you there,” Aelin didn’t bother looking at him as she labeled books and organized them into stacks. “You didn’t ruin anything, you didn’t help, but he screwed up all by himself.”’

“He realizes that,” Lorcan quickly defends, his voice gruff with irritation. “If I can give him your number I’m sure he will grovel for himself.”

Aelin rolls her eyes and slides another stack to the end of the counter. “You don’t get it.”

“Get what?” She can tell he’s losing his patience with her. Lorcan’s remorse only went so far, apparently.

Aedion’s words from earlier rang in her ears as she repeated them back to the man. “He was overbearing the entire time. Had double standard opinions about my life, and disrespected my boundaries.”

Aelin watched as Lorcan shifted on his feet, itching to say something but obviously refraining. Measuring his words carefully he looked her dead in the eye. “Look. He was just trying to impress you. Rowan doesn’t go out often. Don’t you think you are blowing this a little out of proportion?”

Red. Aelin saw red. Tasted it. Like iron in her mouth. Or maybe that was just the blood from biting her tongue so hard. “I’m working right now. You don’t strike me as extremely literate, but I have to ask for you to either buy something or leave.”

Lorcan glowered at her. “Fine.” He turns to walk out, but Aelin hears him call her a bitch under his breath.

Just then, Elide walks inside the shop doors. A backpack slung over her shoulder, finished with her classes at Rifthold U and prepared to work the evening shift with her.

Aelin is relieved for the interruption and about to take full advantage of it, when the small, brown-haired girl catches sight of Lorcan and beams like a rutting lighthouse.

“Lorcan! I didn’t know you were coming into my work, what a surprise.”

Elide. One of her best friends, runs up to the six-two tower of misogynistic cow boys and flings her arms around him. Hugs him.

Ellie she recalls the name being thrown out last night. She hadn’t put two and two together. Ellie was a common name. Of all the people in this city it had to be Elide, Aelin mentally bemoans.

She wonders if Elide knew how her cowboy behaved when she wasn’t around.

It doesn’t matter. Lorcan is all too aware of Aelin’s eyes boring into his skin, and knows he needs to make a quick get away.

“Ellie,” Lorcan pulls away from her. “I just had to see this book shop you are always talking about.”

He kisses her head, and looks at her with feigned remorsefulness. “I must have gotten your shifts mixed up in my head, though. I’m afraid I have to go. We booked a training time for six and I need to brush down Nettie before we start.”

“Oh,” Elide says, a look of genuine disappointment on her face. “That’s fine. Are we still on for a movie tomorrow?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he promises. He pecks her one more time on the lips and tips his chin towards Aelin. Anger still bubbling in his eyes. “Good day, ma’am.”

Aelin releases a breath when the doors close behind him.

“I’m so sad I missed him.” Elide frowns, tossing her back pack behind the counter. “At least you got to meet him. What did you think? He’s absolutely dreamy, right?”

Aelin chokes back a gag. “Yeah. He was really charming.”

“And get this,” Elide smiles. “He’s a cowboy. Like an actual, real life cowboy. He rides pulls and does team roping. It’s sexy.”

Aelin can’t hide the grimace this time. “You are like my baby sister. I never want to hear the words sexy from your mouth again.”

At least, never in the context of Lorcan. They’d had plenty of boy talk before.

“He even carries a rope.” Elide wags an eyebrow. “Better to tie me up when we-“

Aelin holds a book over her face. “I’m not listening to this! I will file a report with HR.”

Elide laughs. “You are the boss, Lin. You know we don’t have an HR.”

“I need to get one now,” Aelin grumbles. “I don’t need an image of yours and Lorcan’s naked asses in my head.”

She wanted Lorcan out of her head entirely. Along with Rowan and the rest of their cadre.

“Fine,” Elide sighs wistfully. “One day you will be in love and I won’t hold it against you when you want to talk about whatever babe you wind up with.”

Her eyes get a mischievous glint. “Actually- Lorcan has some really cute friends. I could set you up with?”

Aelin’s brain banks. “No. No thank you. I like being alone. I’m more than enough company for myself.”

“Come on, a double date would be fun!” Elide whines and tugs on her arm. “You never go out any more. We could have a great night out.”

An image of the twins cutting lines on the bar flash across her mind and make her shudder.

“I said no, Elide.” Aelin says a bit more harshly then she intends, but Elide gets the point and backs off.

“Sorry. I won’t mention it again.” Instead of anger she looks at Aelin worriedly.

She kind of hates that more.

“Thanks.” She shakes her head and tries to clear the residual stress from her head. “I have to set up a new shelf display. Want to help?”

Elide lights back up at the prospect. She loved designing and organizing. They have a great time setting displays up together and Aelin knew it would take her mind away from the tension she’d created.

She just really hoped that Elide dating Lorcan wouldn’t drag any drama into her own life. Aelin didn’t care what half asses excuses Lorcan made, she wasn’t interested in seeing Rowan again.

Hello! I’m so glad I got this posted today. 😂 I’m hoping to get the next chapter of DRNS out tomorrow. After that, my birthday is next Tuesday and I reaaallly want to do a mass update of all my fics then as a hooray to 21. (Yes. That is what I’m doing for my 21st 🤣) Hope you enjoyed it!

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[artist-issues]

@snowybookworm

I’ve seen the logic behind both schools of thought: that Old Steve could only have sat back and allowed events like Bucky’s torture to unfold (thereby being super out of character) OR that he created an alternate timeline where he stayed in character by solving all sorts of problems while living out his happily ever after. And I’m not going to go into that, I’m not going to swing one way or the other. But suffice to say, I don’t think that the portrayal of time travel rules in Endgame supports the idea that Old Steve could only return to prime 2023 via the same portal he left from, because if that were true, how do you explain the Avengers’ big push to get the Infinity Gauntlet into Scott’s van in the final battle? If the only way they could be returned to the timeline they were snatched from was with the same portal, tossing them into the van, a DIFFERENT portal, would’ve been reality-suicide for our heroes.

But I’m not here to argue about what Steve Rogers did when we DIDN’T get to watch his actions. I’m here to argue about what we DO know for sure based on what we WERE given to watch. I’m here to prove that if you think it’s not like Steve Rogers to leave Bucky in the present to live his days out with Peggy, you’ve missed his whole character arc. You’re one of those people who doesn’t see that he HAS a character arc. Captain America has DEPTH. He has LAYERS to who he is. It’s not just “do the right thing,” as close as that may sound to the truth.

He is not the same exact guy Bucky had to lead out of back-alley fights in the 40s. He might have all of the same excellent qualities that we know and love, the BEST qualities, but we’re not at the same point in his story. He’s learned and he’s grown and Peggy Carter is symbolic of him moving on.

Now, that may sound oxymoronic to you, “because he literALLY TIME TRAVELED TO THE PAST to be with the lady he missed out on! HOW IS THAT MOVING ON?!” you ask. Because you’re missing it. Let’s rewind and look at Steve Rogers and his character development, shall we?

In Captain America: The First Avenger, Steve Rogers goes from a guy with everything to prove, who is so willing to take on the world and all it’s evil that it doesn’t matter if he’s 90lbs of asthmatic shortness, he’ll fight bullies and stand up for what’s right! And he’ll do it ALONE if he has to! That’s important, the word “alone.” He’s so committed to that identity that Bucky Barnes, his best friend and brother figure, keeps having to remind Steve that through all of life’s challenges, he’s not alone, that he’s got someone with him “til’ the end of the line.” And Steve believes it: Bucky will be there for him when he needs dragging out of the gutter and cleaning up, when he has nobody else and nothing else. But Steve knows, or thinks he knows, (AND YOU AND I DO TOO, if we pay attention to the actual movie instead of our fill-in-the-blanks headcanons) that however LOYAL AND TRUE Bucky is to him, he doesn’t believe Steve can win. Bucky doesn’t believe in Steve. Now hold your offense: it’s okay that Bucky didn’t believe in Steve. Have you seen Skinny Steve? He’s an amazing moral giant, but physically he’s not going to live past middle-aged. Bucky believed Skinny Steve was righteous, and a hero, and would never give up, but Bucky was resigned to having to help that righteous hero or watch him die eventually because all that gold was locked up in the wrong-sized package. Sebastian Stan has hinted at what the films portray subtly; that Bucky’s is more cynical than his friend Steve from the get-go. He’s always poised and worried that he’s about to watch his hero Steve get killed standing up to the darkness of the world—not WIN against it. Bucky was ready to help Steve out of fights, but—and here’s BUCKY’S character development in that first film—he’s not ready to follow Steve into fights until after Azzano, when Steve finally has the physical capabilities to back up what Bucky has always known was there on the inside: the will to fight the darkness of the world and win. That’s when he realizes, “he’s the little guy from Brooklyn, too dumb to run away from a fight—and now someone’s actually gone and juiced him up with the means to literally take on the jaws of death.” All that heroism and goodness Bucky’s always seen in Steve has gone from being what might get him killed to something that Steve can actually use to do the right thing, however dangerous. And Bucky chooses to keep his promise and follow Steve back into battle after enduring torture, because he is with him til the end of the line. But initially, cynical yet loyal Bucky Barnes didn’t believe his best friend could win.

Steve sees this about Bucky. He knows how Bucky sees him. In the Erskine Enlistment Scene, this line from Steve is so telling: “Look, I know you don’t think I can do this...” and Bucky responds after Steve’s ‘men-laying-down-their-lives’ speech with “right...cause you got nothing to prove.” sarcastically. Steve knows that Bucky loves him and is there for him, but he sees that Bucky doesn’t believe in him. And they’re still friends. They’re still brothers and everything we know them to be, because the word that defines their relationship is “LOYAL.” But you know who did believe in Steve?

Peggy Carter.

She takes notice of Steve’s heart of gold while he’s still skinny, and asthmatic, and everything that Bucky has seen since they were kids. But where Bucky sees a heart of gold about to be snuffed out by harsh circumstances, PEGGY sees something else. She sees something else because she has a similar hopeful outlook on life, a kindred spirit with Steve’s forever-the-fighter character. Peggy Carter, a woman in the 40s, has had to fight and fight and take one step forward for every three steps she’s been pushed back. She’s had to prove herself over and over, every moment of her career, when nobody (except her brother Michael) believed in her. That’s their conversation in the cab. That’s the crux of why they love each other. Peggy has always noticed Steve as never giving up, but until he talks to her in the car on the way to get Super Soldiered, she might have assumed that he was just trying to prove himself for HIMSELF. Then he explains that he doesn’t have anything against running away, and his philosophy about bullies. And she relates to him. She sees that heart of gold and she wants to STOKE it, not just protect it. She knows what it is to want someone to not only acknowledge her potential, but BELIEVE in it. That’s why she has a picture of Skinny Steve on her desk and not a newspaper clipping of Captain America; she loves Steve Rogers for what is inside, for his moral character, and for their kindred fighter spirits. You can see that through her urging him to not settle for being a dancing monkey. “You were meant for more than this, you know.” “If it could only work once, he would be glad it was you.”

And Steve Rogers recognizes that Peggy Carter believes in him. Here’s how. When Bucky and Steve argue at the World Fair before Bucky’s deployment, Bucky leaves with a sort of “I give up,” so-done, snarky “don’t do anything stupid until I get back” attitude. We know and love it. But that’s important. Steve is about to go lie on his enlistment and try to go to war. He’s about to do this risky thing. And Bucky leaves it like “even though I’m against it, I know I can’t stop you, so please just be careful.” When Peggy is faced with a more extreme, but still similar situation where Steve is about to jump headfirst into a risky thing, that’s not her attitude. “I can do more than that.” “Get back here! We’re taking you ALL the way in!” She’s not going to follow him, and she’s not going to shrug and say “fine, go get yourself killed.” She’s not even going to say, like Bucky might’ve, “if you’re dying, I’m dying with you.” JEEZ, the last thing she says to him before he gets on a plane that becomes his tomb is “GO GET ‘IM.” When he says to her “this is my choice” before he ‘dies’ she accepts it, but she still makes that appointment for the dance- almost like a sad, sweet little ‘if you can get out of this, I’ll still be waiting.’ But whenever he goes into danger, throughout that film, she’s going to HELP him. Because she believes in him. She really believes he can do this. She has faith. That’s the word that describes Peggy and Steve’s relationship. “FAITH.”

Bucky = Loyalty.

Peggy = Faith.

And how does Steve grow in this movie? He learned from both Bucky and Peggy: “I don’t have to fight alone.”  Whether it’s because he’s scrawny and everybody else would run away from a fight they can’t win, or because he’s an icon and the world’s first super-soldier-miracle, he’s always had this loneliness complex. He lifts the weight of the world because he knows that if you can, you should. But Peggy says to him “you won’t be alone.” It’s a quote important enough for him to experience it in a flashback the first time we see him in The Avengers.

In The Avengers, Steve has to share the spotlight with a whole other cast of heroes, PLUS the writers had to show us what it would be like for a 1940s superhero to lose 70 years of time and wake up with nobody left of his old life, so his growth is smaller. It’s setting up for more growth later. But still, there’s that quote. “You won’t be alone.” And now here he is. Alone. In the 21st century. Worse than a skinny kid nobody believes in, now he’s a cultural phenomenon in a world where everyone looks up to him but nobody believes in him, really, not directly. Whether it’s how well he can stand up against gods and iron men, what makes him special, or why cops should listen to him in the heat of interplanetary battle—in this bold new world he’s woken up in, Steve is on a lonelier pedestal than ever. He’s quickly disillusioned with the government that used to give him order and structure when it loses the Tesseract, which it was making weapons of mass destruction out of, then tries to nuke an island full of innocent people to win one battle. But Steve finally realizes, toward the end of the film, that just because SHIELD and the larger world are new and different and don’t know who he really is, that doesn’t mean he’s alone. When the other Avengers join him in going to take on Loki in their own way, and when Tony, in particular, proves that he’ll sacrifice himself for the greater good, Steve remembers his lesson from Peggy. He’s still not alone.

But being surrounded by other misfits, even ones who are willing to sacrifice everything for the greater good like he is, isn’t the same as being surrounded by people who know Steve Rogers, the punch-drunk kid from Brooklyn. He’s looking for purpose at the end of the Avengers. What do we see the other characters doing? Thor’s off to deal with the family drama that defines a lot of his character arcs in his movies. Tony is seen embracing the whole “work with others” thing by starting construction on Avengers Tower. Bruce is going with Tony, proving that he’s learning to trust himself with the Hulk like Tony suggested, and Nat hands him the bag, meaning she trusts him too. Clint is reunited with her and getting in a car with the SHIELD logo stamped on it, and where is Steve? What’s his foreshadowing/cap to the movie character arc? Is he getting in the SHIELD car, too? No. He’s on a motorcycle. Alone. Driving off to Lord-knows-where. He’s the only Avenger that drives off alone—but before he went, he shook Tony’s hand. That send-off says he’s willing to be on this team, with these other fighters and misfits...but he’s still lonely. Nobody really knows him yet. He’s not alone in fighting, but he doesn’t know what he wants or where he’s going.

In Captain America: The Winter Soldier Steve’s character development is centered around solidifying what parts of him need to change now that he’s “The Man Out of Time” and what parts of him stay true. The whole film is about trust. And yes, that trust is best driven him when Steve is literally willing to die rather than give up on Bucky, the man literally beating him to death. Because loyalty. But don’t miss the scene with Peggy, however brief. Their conversation has nuances, especially in light of Endgame. There’s a lot going on in the scene that shows how in love he is with her, but the part that’s most important is just his reaction when she relapses and realizes that he’s alive all over again. The last thing Old Peggy says is “it’s been so long.” And she repeats it, for emphasis. And he points out the dance. Because remember, there’s this theme that she would have waited for him. That’s their relationship: faith. But she didn’t know he was alive, and how could she? It’s been so long. She’s not smiling. She’s crying when she realizes he’s still alive. Because they missed all that time they would have had together. And his face is the perfect micro expression of grief. To me, it doesn’t read “I’m so sad because I missed out on Peggy,” though I’m sure there’s some of that in there. To me it reads more like Steve always reads because he thinks of others first: “I’m so sad because Peggy had to mourn me and our relationship for so long.” I mean, look, it’s 70 years later and she’s devastated that he’s alive but they weren’t together. (You can be devastated about your lost love AND accepting of your life and other children without him, it doesn’t have to be one or the other, but more on that another time.) Steve never moves on from Peggy because that’s not the kind of guy he is. It’s not nothing to say she was the love of his life. And he wanted to go back to her not just for himself, but for her. Because he’d seen the future where she was still heartbroken that he missed their dance, and I know that sounds cheesy, but it’s literally RIGHT THERE in probably the best-written Marvel Film, Winter Soldier.

In a film that’s all about how what he thought was good and right is literally crumbling or growing Hydra tentacles around him, there are two things he doesn’t let go of. The first is Bucky. Bucky is an assassin now who any other hero would have put down. Heck, STEVE would have mournfully put down any other threat to the greater good, for the sake of Doing What’s Right. But there’s two (2) exceptions to that rule, and the first is Bucky. Loyalty. He won’t kill or even fight his best friend. And the second thing he won’t let go of, thematically, is Peggy. It’s how we go from “I’m alone in the future” in the Avengers to, “and if I’m the only one, so be it. But I’m willing to bet I’m not.” Peggy founded SHIELD. Steve didn’t have to take time out of the very carefully synchronized and tense mission to stop Project: Insight to make that announcement. He could have assumed everyone was HYDRA and got to work. But he stopped, he made a FAITH-BASED decision to let HYDRA know they were there and shoutout to any good people in the building because the movie was about trust. And Peggy showed Steve how to have faith and trust in people because she extended it to him. He puts so many eggs in the Big Risk basket during this movie based on trusting others even though Nick Fury’s crucial words were “Don’t Trust Anyone.” That’s the part of Steve that won’t get corroded away by the new world he’s come out of the ice into. And he shows it by loyalty to Bucky, brainwashed warts and all, and belief in people, which Peggy taught him. There’s a lot that could also be said about Sam and Natasha, too, but more on them later.

The main thing, in CA:TWS and Avengers, to remember about Steve’s character arc is that while he’s learning to hold on to IDEALS like belief in people and defending freedom and innocent people from bullies like HYDRA and Loki, how does he express those ideals? The only way he knows how. By fighting. By finding a mission to complete or a cause to serve and going for it. How else? He doesn’t know how to do anything else. “I guess I just like to know who I’m fighting.” Sam asks, “You thinking about getting out?” And hid knee-jerk reaction is “no.” Then, “I don’t know.��� AND WHY DOESN’T HE KNOW? Because he doesn’t know what makes him happy. Seriously! What makes him happy?? People who know him. He won’t go on a date because he has “no shared life experience”. He has no fun plans Saturday because his “barbershop quartet are dead.” Hes straight up politely walking away, kind-celebrity-style, from a potential new friend in Sam until Sam starts talking about being a veteran. He tries to relate to others through fights because that seems to be the only thing left. People see Steve as Captain America, leader of the Avengers, Fighter for Freedom, in the future. Nobody sees the kid from Brooklyn anymore. And he doesn’t know who he is without a war.

Bringing us to Avengers: Age of Ultron. This one’s character development is so obvious it feels like they’re beating you over the head with it Hulk-style if you just take half a second to focus on Steve’s scenes. It starts with how he views the Maximoff twins—he can relate to their lab-rats-of-justice ideals, but nobody else shares that sympathy, as seen in the conversation with Maria Hill by the elevator. Then there’s the scene at the party. No, not the one where he reminds Bruce that he waited too long for Peggy, although HELLO HE’S STILL IN LOVE WITH PEGGY. But I’m talking about Steve and Sam’s conversation. Sam mentions home. In the middle of a party, Steve is asking about Bucky, his one remaining person who knows him, and reminiscing about Peggy, the other person who knew him. Home is in the people who know you. Steve wants that to be the Avengers. He wants them to be the people who get who he is, and I think they come close. Nat, Sam, and Tony especially. But Tony never separates who Steve is from this idea of him handed down from Howard Stark, and Steve is made aware of that over and over. Plus Tony doesn’t trust Steve; the team keeps clashing over trust issues in this film. And Tony even says, in the pivotal argument with Steve over the lumber pile, “isn’t this why we fight? So we can END the fight? So we can go HOME?” Steve can’t go home because Steve feels he has no home. He’s made The Fight his home. And he defaults right back to it in this argument: “every time someone tries to stop a war before it starts, innocent people die.” So, again, he’s not ALONE anymore, in the sense that others will fight with him. But he’s still stuck on FIGHTING. And nobody really knows him. At the end of the film he says, almost reluctantly, “I’m home” and proceeds to go in and try to train new Avengers. Sam comes flying in among them—that’s a subtle reason why Steve is willing to make the Avengers/the Fight his new home. The one guy who might actually know him and represent who he is when he’s not behind the shield is missing, and Sam was supposed to be looking for him. Sam is with the Avengers, NOT looking for him.

But all of that is wrecked in Captain America: Civil War. Peggy, the love of his life, dies. Bucky, the friend he’d all but given up on finding, reappears and is in trouble. Without Peggy, there’s only one person left who knows who Steve really is, and with all that Bucky means to him, Steve isn’t going to give him up. It just so happens that that goal of remaining loyal to Bucky is synonymous with hanging on to his ideals: combatting the Sokovia Accords with a little moral kick in the seat from posthumous Peggy. I’m not going to go into why his actions about the Accords were in-character in this film. But it should be obvious from everything I’ve written, anyway. And remember, his faith is in people. Peggy taught him that, as we’ve established.

The main point of character development in this film for Steve is that he’s realized that he can’t give up who Steve Rogers is to be who everyone thinks Captain America is. When the rest of the world says that the Avengers should be little better than Government weapons and operate out of fear, Steve remembers that he’s the kid from Brooklyn who will fight for what’s right, shield or no shield. And Bucky symbolizes that aspect of who he really is, because Bucky knows him in a way that no remaining living character does. So when Steve is fighting Tony to keep Bucky safe, it’s not devoid of their conflict over ideals, either. Stave drops the shield but promises to still be there for Tony if he needs him. He’s not going to be everyone’s Captain America. He’s going to stay the good man Erskine gave a chance to, the good man Peggy believed in, and the good man only Bucky is alive to remember.

Now we get to Infinity War. And here there’s so much going on with so many characters that for Steve, it’s just important to realize that, although he’s finally hit a rhythm in this post-ice life as Steve Rogers, Fighter from Brooklyn, HOW is he hitting that rhythm? Settling down in Wakanda to hang with Bucky and the goats? Leaving the justice and peacekeeping to Tony Stark and the law-abiding heroes? No. He’s still fighting. And not just in response to Thanos—we’re shown hints and evidences that Cap and his Secret Avengers have been doing some behind-the-scenes peacekeeping. So why isn’t Steve finding peace with Bucky? Ask yourself that. He had time. He had anonymity, in Wakanda. He’d given up the Captain America mantle. They could’ve been roomies in that little hut, like when they were kids, right?

Wrong. But why?

It’s not because the Russos didn’t think of it. It’s not because of lazy writing. It’s because of Bucky.

Bucky is still Steve’s friend and Steve is still loyal to him. They don’t mean any less to each other than they did in 1945. But Bucky is not Bucky anymore. If you believe that Sebastian Stan did a good job playing Bucky, you have to remember that Sebastian Stan played him as if he would “never go back to being that guy you see in The First Avenger.” Bucky has evolved. He’s part Winter Soldier, now. Does he still know Steve better than anyone? Yes. But that is corrupted by the fact that Bucky was programmed to see Steve, the country Steve represented, and all of Steve’s ideals of freedom as targets to be destroyed for 90 years. That changes things. Steve is always going to do what is best for Bucky, because that’s the kind of friend he is. It was the kind of friend he was in 1945 when he rescued Bucky from Azzano, it’s the kind of friend he was when he wouldn’t fight him aboard Project: Insight, it’s the kind of friend he was when he gave up the Avengers and the shield for Bucky...and it’s the kind of friend he was when he left Bucky in the present.

In Avengers: Endgame Steve Rogers has experienced what it’s like to fight and lose again. He’s lost everything. He’s lost Peggy, and now Bucky, too. He’s lost everything and everyone that ever symbolized home...except, perhaps, Natasha. His friend who knows what it’s like to give up everything for ideals and fight to prove yourself. His friend who can’t stop fighting, either. But he loses her, too. Before he does, though, what does Steve say? In that first conversation before everything sets into motion? He says that maybe the fight doesn’t need to be fought by them. He says they need to get a life. But Nat says “you first.”

Who knows him the closest at this point? Nat. So who’s the best-qualified to point out where he’s at, character-development-wise? Nat. He sees his flaw. Steve Rogers sees that he can’t figure out who he is, without someone who knows him helping him. He sees that he defaults to finding a cause, a mission, a fight. Heck, the posters of him say “one last mission.” Not “one last sacrifice (of everything for Bucky).” One last MISSION, because that’s the only thing Steve knows how to do when he has nothing else.

“But he DID have something else! He had BUCKY! And his new family with the Avengers!”

Now we get to the part people don’t understand. They think, “how could Steve just leave everybody, especially Bucky, to fend for themselves?”

You didn’t see all that character development, especially in the first film where the differences between what Bucky means to Steve and what Peggy means to Steve are established.

Bucky is not the streetsmart protective charming brother figure he was in TFA. But listen. He’s not the broken Winter Soldier anymore either. Not in a way that needs Steve’s help. He’s not on the run. He’s got his memory back. He’s pardoned. He’s got Sam. Don’t you see, Bucky’s biggest problem is Steve’s, at this point? They MIRROR each other. Steve can’t figure out who he is if he isn’t fighting for everyone else because he’s been fighting for so long. And Bucky can’t figure out who he is with his friend, his brother figure, doing that and him. Because if Steve is fighting, Bucky will always be there to have his back. But fighting isn’t what Bucky needed anymore. It’s not what he wanted. Fighting is what Bucky is tired of.

And Steve Rogers can’t not be where the fight is.

Because without a fight, who is he?

Peggy Carter knows.

Steve Rogers left Bucky because Bucky needed him to leave. They needed to be friends from afar. And Steve left Bucky because Peggy Carter was home. Being with the woman who knew who he really was, as Steve “Kid From Brooklyn” Rogers, was the right move for his character because it shows that he’s finally ready to stop fighting. Stop being Captain America, lonely hero, man out of time. He’s ready to go and figure out who he is apart from all of that, with someone who really knows him. Could he have done that with Bucky? I don’t know. Seems to me, from what we’ve seen, that Bucky represented passively understanding  Steve while Peggy, at the point they were separated, represented understanding Steve and moving him forward.

Bucky was “I’m with you ‘til the end of the line.”

Peggy is “I had faith.”

Bucky was the guy to have Steve’s back in the fight. Peggy was the woman to show him he was meant for more. She represents his potential. She represents his ability to move on, see who he is when he’s doing more than following orders or standing up for honor or proving himself. It would have been out of character for him to stay in the present because new fights would have arisen, and he never would’ve put down the shield. He would’ve fought until someone killed him. And guess what? Bucky would’ve been right behind him, dragging himself into a fight when what he really needs is to step away from Steve and the baggage of his past for a bit. Not completely, but enough.

But this way? With Peggy? We get to see the guy who was always lonely and always learning how to be less alone actually do it. If you miss how significant that is, and you miss how much sense it makes, you don’t understand Steve Rogers at all.

[beauvibaby]

single mom – j.benn

a/n: this was a super random idea that just came to me, well really it was the grocery scene but it just clicked so

Your daughter, fast asleep on your lap, her head resting on your chest, you let the tears fall. You shifted her off of you and into her small bed, tucking her in before rushing out of the room, not wanting to wake her with your cries. You left her door cracked open, just how she had insisted she likes it, your mind racing back to the conversation you’d just had with her.

“I want daddy!” Jade shrieked at you, throwing her stuffed animal–from her father when she was first born–down onto the ground in protest. You looked at the three year old in warning, “Jade, honey, it’s time for bed.” You tried to push past the subject, you knew it was the wrong thing to do, but you had a long, exhausting day at work and you didn’t have the patience to have the conversation with her again that her father wouldn’t be coming back anytime soon. He seemingly decided that she was suddenly too much for him, leaving her at your fathers house with a letter for you and then disappearing entirely. You knew, when she was born, it would only be a matter of time until he abandoned her, already blaming you for getting pregnant. “I don’t want you! I want daddy.” She snapped, not only shattering your heart, but also making you grow frustrated. “You don’t say things like that, it’s mean, you hurt my feelings.” You told her as calmly as you could muster, she huffed, but didn’t say anything as you continued pulling out her clothes for school tomorrow. “Mommy, I’m sorry.” She whispered after a moment, clinging to your legs, you nodded down at her, not trusting your voice for a moment.

You trudged to your room, finally being able to remove those constricting work clothes. An office job, which you hated, but it was the only thing that worked with the hours you needed for Jade. You cried yourself to sleep that night.

***

“How much longer mommy?” Jade complained from her spot standing on the side of the cart, “we just need your snacks and then some cereal.” You assured the fussy girl, knowing she hated going grocery shopping with you. “Do you want fruit snacks or–Jade?!” You had only turned for a few seconds, to see what they had on the shelves, but now she was gone. “Jade!” You called, eyes darting around the aisle, you yanked your purse out of the cart, abandoning it in a panic of searching for your daughter. You ran up and down the aisles, trying to figure out where she could have gone. Cereal, the cereal, you turned around and all but ran to the other side of the store, praying and hoping that somehow she had found her way there. Your prayers were answered as you rounded the corner and you saw Jade standing beside a fairly tall man, “Jade!” You gasped, running over to her, yanking her up into your arms quickly. “You can’t do that, you can’t just walk away from me like that!” You rushed, not even noticing the guy standing there holding the exact box of cereal you were going to be buying. “I’m sorry, mommy.” Jade looked at you with wide eyes, never seeing you like this, because she’s never pulled a stunt like this.

“Umm, excuse me?” The man spoke up, making you turn towards him, Jade still being in your arms, “yes?” You answered him, trying to calm your racing heart. “I believe she was looking for this.” He held out the box of cereal, shaking it lightly, Jade smiling at him with her biggest smile. “Mr Jamie got it.” She told you, looking proud of herself for having help in getting the cereal off the top shelf. You let out a soft breathy laugh, “thank you, Uh, Jamie, I guess.” You spoke lightly, “anytime…” he trailed off, not knowing your name. “Y/N.” You called over your shoulder, beginning the trek to where your cart was hopefully still left.

Once you’d gotten back to your cart, you put Jade in it this time, despite her protests, “no, you did the one thing you’re not supposed to do.” You told her, not giving into her pout, she huffed and dramatically crossed her arms, not speaking to you for the remainder of the time in the store. She only spoke when you buckled her into her car seat, before loading the groceries into the trunk. “Can you play frozen?” She asked sleepily, you nodded at her tired face, turning the car on and playing the frozen soundtrack off of your phone, her eyes shutting as she hummed along to let it go, falling asleep nearly instantly. You glanced up at the sound of someone walking past, Jamie, of course, he didn’t notice you as he walked, but that was short lived as he walked up to the truck parked next to your car. You stayed silent, only smiling when you felt him looking over at you, “it’s not really polite to stare you know.” You quipped, shutting your trunk lightly, not wanting to wake Jade. “I wasn’t staring.” He defended, smirking softly, leaning against the side of his truck, his small amount of groceries already packed away. “Mhm, thank you for the cereal by the way, I’m sorry she bothered you.” You responded genuinely, realizing you were too worked up in the store to thank him. “It wasn’t a bother, she’s adorable.” He assured you, smiling as you glanced into the car at her. “She is.” You agreed, finding yourself wishing you had more conversation to have with Jamie.

“Have a nice day, Jamie.” You bid him goodbye, shoving your cart into the designated spot, “you too, Y/N.” He responded, eyes lingering as you got into your car.

***

Jamie watched as Tyler looked at him with a shocked expression, “you met a girl?” Tyler gaped at him, the two of them talking while getting ready for the game, “no, well yes, but no.” Jamie stumbled over his words, not even entirely sure what to say. “It’s a simple question, yes or no?” Tyler smirked, halting his process to give Jamie his full attention. “Ugh, ok I was at the store, and this little girl came up to me, asking if I could get her this cereal, then her mom came running around the corner looking for her.” Jamie explained, “they were both so sweet, and her mom, she was just stunning.” Jamie added, feeling his cheeks turn pink. “Did you get her number?” Tyler asked, as if it was so simple. “No! I don’t know if she’s got a boyfriend or anything, I can’t just assume she’s a single mom.” He rushed, making up excuses, “she was younger than me for sure too.” He added, as if that would be reason enough to not have an interest in you. “Oh come on, who cares if she’s younger, if you see her again, by some miracle, you have to make a move.” Tyler insisted, and they left the conversation at that.

“Dad, are you sure she’s not too young?” You asked for the hundredth time, adjusting your daughters loose jersey, he had become your go to babysitter, and he insisted on taking you and Jade to a hockey game, saying that she would watch them on tv when she was with him. “She’s not too young, she’s going to have a blast!” He laughed at your concern, taking her from you, he had gifted you both with plain, non player jerseys for the team, your father wasn’t loaded by any means, but he had worked hard in his life, and now that your mother had passed and it was just him, he sold the house and got a small condo, using the extra money to buy himself tickets to see his favorite team. “Alright, alright, let’s go.” You gave in, following him into the arena.

The seats were better than you had thought they would be, and you couldn’t deny how it made you a little extra excited. “Go down to the glass, see if you can get her a puck.” Your dad insisted, sending Jade with you, once you reached the boards, you lifted her up to be on your hip, they were doing warm ups, some of the players not bothering with helmets, one in particular caught your eye. He’d skated by so fast, but something about him looked vaguely familiar, you couldn’t place your finger on it, but you pushed it to the back of your mind as you told Jade to wave at them, hoping one of them would be kind enough to send a puck over for her. A few of them went by without even noticing you guys, then the familiar one came to a stop, ice flying up, making Jade giggle, she shocked you by knocking on the glass, causing him to turn around. You went wide eyed, and so did he. You watched as he held up a finger in a hang on motion, Jade laughed, watching him skate quickly across the ice, doing something quickly behind the bench. He rushed back over, making sure to send some ice up again for Jade as she grinned, he pointed to her through the glass and tossed a puck up in the air, you caught it and gave it to her. Then he pointed at you, tossing another puck over, except this one had writing scribbled on it.

“Can I have your number?”

You read it with a blush, looking up to see him shifting his weight back and forth on his skates, you nodded, sending Jade to your dad who was standing in the aisle watching, she rushed over to him, excited to show him the puck. Jamie tossed a silver sharpie over to you, a grin etched onto his face, you motioned to the puck, and he nodded. You wrote the number down, sending the sharpie and then the puck back over for him, giving him a short wave as he skated back to the bench, a few of the guys nudging his shoulders. Your dad was watching skeptically, “I’ve been told that you know, Mr Jamie.” He quoted your daughter, smiling fondly when you turned pink. “We met in the grocery store.” You went on to tell him the story until the game started, all three of you getting sucked in to the sport as it went on.

Once your dad had dropped you and Jade off at your home, you were exhausted, and carrying her up the stairs to your apartment was only more tiring as the elevator was currently out of service. Jade didn’t make a peep as you laid her down in bed, a smile on her sleeping face, you kissed her forehead lightly, “sweet dreams, baby girl.” You whispered.

Your phone vibrated on your nightstand as you got ready for bed, an unknown number on the screen.

“I’m glad Jade liked the puck, you could definitely pay me back by going on a date with me.”

It was a bold move on his part, but you didn’t mind one bit. You read the message three times before coming up with your response,

“Wouldn’t I just owe you more after you pay for me?”

Your smile widened as the three dots came up right away, you couldn’t help but bite your bottom lip in anticipation.

“I have a feeling that time with you will be priceless.”

If you weren’t already daydreaming about him, you definitely would be now.

***

“Are you sure?” You asked your dad for the third time since he got here, Jade happily eating her dinner while you two talked just out of her earshot, “I’m sure, you deserve to go out and have some fun.” He assured you, “she’ll be fine, worse comes to worse, you can say you had dinner with Jamie Benn.” Your dad added, smirking at the end. You lightly whacked his shoulder, “thanks for having faith in my ability to have a good date.” You joked, earning a deep laughter from your dad. “You’ll be fine, honey, now say goodbye to Jade and get going!” He pushed you towards your daughter, smiling as she looked up at you with a messy smile. “Where did you learn to eat?” You teased her, squatting beside her, wiping her face with a napkin, “kiss.” You demanded with a laugh, grinning as she pecked your cheek. “I love you.” You told her, getting a muffled one in response as she continued munching away on her food. “Promise you’ll call me for anything.” You pleaded with your dad as he pushed you out the door, “yes, I promise, have fun.” He shut the door before you could continue, giving you no option but to head out for your date, your nerves growing with every minute closer you got.

“Y/N!” You heard from across the parking lot, your head snapping up as you slid your purse onto your shoulder, “hey, Jamie.” You called as he approached, a smile etched onto his face. “You look great.” He grinned, looking over the dress you’d chosen, a casual dress, nearly maxi length with a light floral print. A Jean jacket over top. “Thank you.” You closed your car door as you spoke, “you look great too.” You complimented him, smiling as he offered his hand as you stepped up the curb. He shot you a toothy smile in response, opening the door to the restaurant, a cliche first date, but the effort he put in was very much appreciated. You couldn’t say in full honesty that you’d ever been taken on such a proper date, Jade’s father had really been your first true relationship, and it wasn’t the best at times. Or ever, really. “Two please.” Jamie spoke to the hostess, you had zoned out slightly, taking in the slightly eclectic look of the restaurant. Jamie pulled your seat out for you, only making you blush more. “Thank you.” You whispered as he took his seat across from you, “of course.” He smiled, picking his menu up, peering over it at you as you both browsed silently. You shifted a little nervously as you looked at some of the prices, Jamie glanced up at you, unsure if he should ask if you were alright. “So, what’s good here?” You asked, breaking the silence, he let out a laugh, setting the menu down. “Can I be honest?” He raised an eyebrow at you, your head falling into a cautious nod, “I’ve never been here before, some of the guys said I should take you here.” He looked a bit pink in his cheeks, you bit your lip to stifle back a laugh, “you know, Jamie, I’m perfectly fine with more of the typical burger and fries type of place.” You giggled, watching his smile falter, before it widened again, “let’s go.” He abruptly stood up, his chair making a noise in the quiet restaurant. He rushed you out the door, laughing the entire time as you looked at him in shock.

“We could’ve eaten here, I wasn’t trying to be–“ “Y/N, just live a little, I’d much rather go get a burger than whatever was on that menu.” He cut you off with a grin, “well,” you paused, fishing your keys out of your purse, “I do know a great little hole in the wall place a few blocks away.” You grinned at him, watching as he matched your look. “Shall we?” “We shall.”

“Thank you, Jamie, I had a great time.” You smiled up at him as you stood between your cars, he reciprocated the gesture, “so did I.” He mumbled, “we should do it again sometime.” He added, watching as you nodded slowly, easing his nerves significantly, “I’d like that, a lot.” You trailed off, meeting his eyes, you could tell that he saw the concern on your face. You hadn’t done this yet, since Jade, and now you weren’t sure how it would work. How long did you date before you introduced him as something other than just Jamie? What if you never made it that far? What– “Can I kiss you?” Jamie interrupted, chuckling when your jaw dropped for a moment, not expecting him to be so abrupt. You barely finished whispering a yes before his lips were on yours, his hands on either side of your face, you melted into them, your hands resting on his sides as you kissed him back. He let out a sigh of content as you pulled away, “yeah, we’re definitely going to have to do this again.” You mumbled, laughing along with him as he was caught off guard by your comment.

***

That was three months ago, somehow the two of you had been making it work in the middle of his busiest time of year, Christmas had just passed, and it was finally time to introduce him to Jade, properly, as your boyfriend, not just as the guy you’d met in the grocery store. “Where are we going?” Jade asked, holding your hand tightly as you walked with her through the tunnels that you quickly learned to maneuver, Jamie having you come to a couple of games so far, and insisting you come down afterwards. “You’ll see.” You assured her with a giggle, she bounced happily beside you, eyes going wide as she saw Jamie leaning against the wall, she’d seen him a couple of times, but totally oblivious to what was happening between the two of you.

“Jamie!” She shrieked, releasing your hand and running over to him, he easily squatted in front of her, smiling as she gave him a little hug. “Hey, Jade.” He murmured, glancing up at you as she began rambling about her day. “I like your shirt.” He told her when she finished, and she looked down to the stars jersey you’d slipped her in to, the same plain one your dad had gotten her, you on the other hand, had on your Benn jersey. Something Jamie had insisted on the second you two decided this was a serious committed relationship. “It’s just like the one you wear!” She told him, as if he didn’t already know. “Wow, that’s crazy.” He gasped, looking at it closely, as if it was new information, she laughed girlishly at him. “Jade?” You questioned, kneeling beside Jamie, suddenly terrified that your three year old would shame your relationship. “Jamie and I are dating, so you know what that means?” You asked her, Jamie glancing between the two of you. Jade tilted her head to the side, “that means you love him.” She answered, as if that was the correct answer, you smiled at your daughter, glancing over to Jamie, you hadn’t said it to him yet, but you were certain that you were in love with him. He stayed silent, but the grin on his face told you everything you needed. “Does that mean we’ll live together? Like you and daddy used too?” Jade gasped, suddenly excited at the idea. This time you were the one who stared and Jamie spoke, easing any nerves you had, “hopefully one day.” He assured her.

Jade was watching a quick video on your phone while you spoke to Jamie before the game, “I think that went well.” He shrugged, not really as concerned as you had been. “It did.” You sighed, hugging him quickly, knowing he had to get going, “Jamie.” You got his attention, cupping his jaw and leaning up to kiss him. “I love you.” You whispered, slowly stepping away from him, “I love you.” He grinned, “gonna play great now that I know that.” He shot you a wink, before going on to score two goals that night, one of them being the game winner.

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