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obviously blind
pairing: james potter x bsf!fem!reader
summary: for years, james potter thought he was chasing love. sirius black knew better — he’d been holding it all along.
warnings: fluff fluff fluff, friends to lovers, idiots in love, james calls reader love, no use of y/n, english isn’t my first language
word count: 11.3k
a/n: it was probably the longest idea to write and edit. i rewrote every moment a bunch of times trying to bring it all to perfection. therefore, this time I hope more than ever that you will like it and you will support me with a like, comment or reblog. have a nice time reading this work! love u <3
ᯓ★ now playing…
slaves – footprints
You left your mark on me like footprints in the snow
Would you promise me you'll never let me go
November 15, 1971 My dear best friend, Hogwarts is brilliant! You should see the castle; it’s massive, with these moving staircases that sometimes take you to places you didn’t even mean to go! I tried to get to Charms class last week and ended up in the Trophy Room instead. Sirius says it’s part of the fun, and I’m starting to agree. Speaking of fun, I made a new friend! His name’s Sirius Black, and he’s a bit of a troublemaker like me. Don’t tell Mum, but we might’ve let some Filibuster’s Fireworks off in the Great Hall during lunch. The teachers were furious, but the look on their faces was worth it. How’s Beauxbatons? Is it true your castle is magical in a totally different way? Sirius said something about unicorns roaming the grounds. Is that real? Write me everything—I want to know what it’s like over there. Hope you’re having as much fun as I am. Forever yours, Jamie
SIRIUS BLACK WAS UTTERLY SPENT. Not the charming, rakish kind of spent he might brag about after a late night of mischief, but truly, completely, soul-drainingly done. The journey to the Potter family cottage, which should have been a brisk jaunt, had turned into a Herculean trial. Blame the snowstorm that had swept through magical London like some vengeful Norse curse, burying everything in its path under heaps of frosty misery.
It started with a delayed train — no, not delayed, imprisoned. Sirius and James were already aboard when the announcement came, trapping them in a stuffy carriage surrounded by loudly complaining wizards and at least one crying baby. And because the universe clearly found Sirius’ misery entertaining, the train came to a jolting halt halfway to their destination, snow packing the tracks so thickly that it took hours of magical clearing before they moved again.
When they finally arrived at the station, they discovered that Mr. Potter, their much-needed savior with a warm car and a better attitude than either of them, had been delayed at work. Thus, Sirius and James were left to trudge through the snow-laden countryside, dragging their trunks behind them, with James’ endless chatter about Lily Evans ringing in Sirius’ ears like a persistent curse.
“Her smile, Padfoot,” James had sighed dreamily at least seventeen times, his glasses fogging up as if even thinking about Lily caused them to malfunction. “And the way she tucks her hair behind her ear when she’s concentrating—”
By the sixteenth sigh, Sirius had been sorely tempted to shove a fistful of snow into James’ face. By the seventeenth, he was mentally composing a list of Unforgivable Curses and ranking them by efficiency. Yet, even as he grumbled under his breath, Sirius couldn’t bring himself to abandon the trek. The Potters were the closest thing he had to a family, and spending Christmas anywhere else — no matter how dire the journey — was unthinkable.
When they finally reached the Potter home, Sirius didn’t so much step inside as collapse into it. He shoved the front door open with the dramatic flair of a man escaping death itself and sprawled across the polished wooden floor like a martyr for his own cause. His trunk fell beside him with a satisfying thud.
“Home at last,” he groaned, voice muffled against the rug. “Tell me, Prongs, do they serve last rites before cinnamon rolls, or do we skip straight to the feast?”
The cottage, of course, was as warm and welcoming as Sirius remembered. Strings of fairy lights twinkled across the beams, casting a cozy glow of red, gold, and green. A holly wreath hung crookedly on the wall — lil’James’ handiwork, no doubt — and the scent of pine mingled with the tantalizing aroma of cinnamon, butter, and something sweet. Sirius’ stomach growled audibly.
“Oi, shut it, you ungrateful mutt,” James shot back with a grin, though Sirius could see his friend’s eyes darting toward the kitchen. “You’re embarrassing us in front of the wreath.”
James hadn’t even set his trunk down before a figure appeared in the doorway.
At first, Sirius barely registered her presence. He was too busy muttering about the injustice of underage magic restrictions. But then — oh, then — she stepped fully into view.
A girl.
Not just any girl, but you.
You moved with a kind of quiet confidence that Sirius instantly clocked, your steps unhurried, your presence undeniable. The golden glow of the fairy lights danced across your hair, giving it a shimmer that seemed almost unreal. You were wrapped in a deep blue jumper — Sirius realized this after a moment’s brain lag — and your cheeks were rosy, likely from the heat of the kitchen.
You carried a tray of steaming cinnamon rolls, the scent of melted sugar and spice trailing after you like some kind of domestic enchantment. Sirius’ mouth went dry, and for the first time in years, he was at a loss for words.
“Well,” he managed after a beat, hauling himself upright and trying for a semblance of decorum. “Now I see why you were so keen to come home, Prongs. You’ve got cinnamon-roll-bearing angels dropping out of the sky.”
You laughed, soft and melodic, the sound so unguarded it seemed to wrap the room in warmth. Sirius couldn’t help but notice the way your lips curled into a smile that was equal parts inviting and mysterious.
“Hello to you too, Sirius,” you said, your voice carrying a familiarity that made his ears perk up.
Sirius blinked. Wait. Of course. This wasn’t some celestial being summoned to his rescue; this was James’ childhood best friend. The one James had vaguely mentioned — just a handful of times over the years, always in passing and with a strange softness that Sirius hadn’t thought to question before.
And yet, here you were. In the flesh. Standing in the middle of the Potters’ living room with a tray of baked goods and a smile that Sirius suspected had the power to stop traffic.
“Well, well, Jamie-boy,” Sirius drawled, nudging James with his elbow and watching his friend with amused curiosity. “You never told me the famous cinnamon-roll angel was also — what’s the word? Ah, yes — real.”
You raised an eyebrow at Sirius’ antics, though your smile didn’t falter. Instead, you glanced toward James, who looked like he’d been hit with a Confundus Charm.
Sirius smirked. “James, mate, you alright? You’ve gone all... slack-jawed.”
But James wasn’t paying him any attention. His hazel eyes were locked on you, wide and brimming with something Sirius couldn’t quite place. He watched as James' gaze traced over the streak of flour smudged on your cheek, the stray strands of hair escaping from your ponytail, and the red apron dusted with flour and cinnamon.
Sirius almost snorted aloud. This was the James Potter who couldn’t shut up about Lily Evans — the boy who spent half his waking hours plotting ways to win her over. And yet, here he was, staring at you like you’d just descended from the heavens.
“Jamie,” you said softly, setting the tray down on the nearby table.
It was just one word, but the way you said it — warm, tender, and utterly unguarded — sent a jolt through Sirius.
Before he could process what was happening, James crossed the room in a few long strides and swept you into his arms. You squealed in surprise, and the sound was pure delight, echoing off the walls.
Sirius blinked, startled. The way James held you — hands firm on your waist, his head dipping into the crook of your neck — wasn’t friendly, not by a long shot. Sirius had known James since he was eleven years old, had seen him charm and flirt with half of Hogwarts, but he had never seen this.
“Missed me, Jamie?” you teased, your fingers slipping into his unruly hair with the kind of ease that spoke of years of familiarity.
“Always,” James murmured, so quietly Sirius barely caught it.
“Bloody hell,” Sirius muttered under his breath.
He glanced around the room, half-expecting someone to explain this baffling scene, but it was just him, James, and you, wrapped up in some intimate little bubble that made Sirius feel like an intruder.
James murmured something into your shoulder — too soft for Sirius to catch — and you laughed, your voice light and unrestrained. The sound pulled James’ head up, and Sirius couldn’t miss the way his eyes traced your face with a kind of devotion Sirius had only read about in sappy romance novels.
It was then that the memories began to click into place. The scattered mentions over the years, the odd tone James always took when he talked about you. “She’s not like anyone else, Padfoot. She just gets it.” Or that one summer when James had come back to Hogwarts looking utterly miserable and wouldn’t explain why. Sirius had teased him about it for weeks, thinking it was Lily-related. But now, seeing the way James looked at you...
“Wait a minute,” Sirius blurted, his grin widening as realization dawned. “You’re the one. The one he’s always sneaking off to write letters to, the one he’s all secretive about.”
James shot him a glare, his cheeks burning bright red.
“Padfoot—”
“—the one who sent him that hideous scarf last Christmas!” Sirius continued, thoroughly enjoying himself now. “I knew there had to be someone. Prongs doesn’t just get that moony-eyed look over just anyone.”
You laughed again, covering your face with your hands, while James muttered something about strangling Sirius later.
Before Sirius could needle him further, the kitchen door creaked open, and Euphemia Potter swept into the room. She was radiant as always, her cheeks rosy from the cold, her dark hair streaked with silver. Her eyes lit up the moment she saw James.
“There’s my boy!” she exclaimed, pulling him into a tight hug before he could even attempt to protest.
“Hi, Mum,” James mumbled, his voice muffled against her shoulder.
Euphemia pulled back, cupping his face in her hands as though memorizing every detail. “It’s been too long, Jamie. Too long. You’re far too skinny — have you been eating properly at school? And what have you done with your hair?”
James groaned, though his smile was fond.
Then her eyes fell on Sirius, and the warmth in her expression grew tenfold.
“Sirius, my dear,” she said, moving toward him with open arms. “I’m so glad you’re home, too.”
Sirius froze for a moment, caught off guard. He wasn’t used to this — the genuine affection, the way Euphemia made him feel like he belonged.
When her arms wrapped around him, the embrace firm and filled with love, Sirius felt an odd lump form in his throat. He couldn’t help but think of his own mother’s cold, perfunctory hugs, her disdainful gaze, and the way her affection always felt like a transaction.
“You’ve grown even handsomer,” Euphemia said, pulling back to study him. “Fleamont’s going to be jealous.”
Sirius managed a crooked grin, the lump in his throat still stubbornly there. “That’s the goal, Mrs. Potter. Keep him on his toes.”
Euphemia laughed, her eyes twinkling, before cupping his cheek briefly. “You’re family now, Sirius. Never forget that.”
Satisfied, Euphemia turned her attention to you. Her face softened even more, and she reached out to squeeze your hands. “Oh, there you are, dear. I was wondering where my helper had gone. The mince pies won’t bake themselves, you know”
You shot James a quick, playful glance before following Euphemia toward the door. “I’ll be back in a bit,” you said, your smile lingering.
As Mrs. Potter ushered you toward the door to finish the pies, Sirius remained rooted to the spot. The warmth from her hug lingered, and for a fleeting moment, he thought of how lucky James was to have parents like that — and how lucky he was to have stumbled into their lives.
James watched you leave, his gaze following you until you were out of sight. Sirius couldn’t help but laugh.
“Mate,” he said, clapping James on the shoulder. “You’re a goner.”
James huffed, shoving him away, but the goofy grin on his face was impossible to hide.
And Sirius? Sirius couldn’t wait to see how this played out.
July 2, 1973 My Love, Summer’s only just started, and I can’t wait to see you. Mum’s already planning another one of her “legendary” tea parties, which means she’ll fuss over you endlessly. You’ll smile politely and charm her like always, and she’ll end up spoiling you with biscuits to take back to Beauxbatons. I’ve got so much to tell you. Sirius and I found this secret passageway that leads straight to Hogsmeade. We’ve been practicing spells to make it even harder for Filch to find us. Remus is shaking his head, but I think he secretly loves our schemes. Oh, and Lily—she’s still brilliant. She’s got the most incredible laugh. But you, my love, I bet your laugh would still outshine hers any day.
Do you still walk in those Beauxbatons gardens at sunset? I can imagine you there, glowing in the soft light. It suits you. Write me back quickly, won’t you? The days are always better when I hear from you. Forever yours, Jamie
SIRIUS BLACK HAD ALWAYS KNOWN JAMES POTTER WAS A TACTILE PERSON. James spoke fluently in the language of touch — claps on the back that lingered just a second too long, overly enthusiastic shoulder bumps that almost knocked you off your feet, and the occasional arm slung around your shoulders like he was staking a claim. But this? This was something else entirely.
It wasn’t just the way James touched you. It was the way he seemed to orbit you, like some lovesick moon drawn to its planet. Wherever you were, James was never far behind — hovering, grinning, completely and utterly besotted without even realizing it. And for someone so allegedly brilliant, he was astoundingly stupid about it.
Sirius noticed it within minutes of their arrival at the Potter cottage for the holidays. As the snow settled outside, so did James — right beside you, always beside you. If you were arranging the flowers Euphemia had insisted on, James was there offering suggestions like he’d suddenly become an expert on floral arrangements. If you were curled up in the drawing room with a book, James was sprawled across the nearest sofa, pretending to read but actually just watching you out of the corner of his eye like some hopeless romantic idiot in a badly written Muggle novel.
Sirius had been rolling his eyes so much, they were practically stuck in the back of his head.
THE SECOND MORNING WAS WHEN THINGS REALLY CLICKED. Sirius had woken up earlier than usual — a rare and uncomfortable event for him. He had no plans to do anything productive, of course, but the faint sound of footsteps in the hallway intrigued him. Padding out of his room, he peeked around the corner just in time to see James sneaking toward the kitchen.
Naturally, Sirius followed. He found James standing at the counter, sleeves rolled up like some kind of domestic god, arranging breakfast with the precision of someone preparing an offering to Merlin himself. There was a plate of toast with cream cheese and thinly sliced avocado, a bowl of berries that looked like they’d been picked by woodland elves, and a steaming cup of coffee. The smell alone was enough to make Sirius reconsider his usual disdain for mornings.
“Fancy,” Sirius said, leaning lazily against the doorframe, voice still scratchy from sleep.
James jumped slightly but recovered quickly, flashing Sirius a sheepish grin. “Morning, Pads. Coffee’s on the counter.”
Sirius eyed the tray suspiciously. “Is this for you, or is it for your favorite person in the world aka me?”
James’s ears turned pink. “It’s for her,” he admitted, almost bashfully, like he hadn’t just spent ten minutes crafting the most meticulous breakfast Sirius had ever seen.
“Of course it is,” Sirius muttered with a smirk, grabbing a mug for himself. “You realize this is bordering on embarrassing, yeah?”
James shot him a look, but before he could respond, you appeared in the doorway, still looking half-asleep. Your hair was mussed, and the oversized jumper you’d borrowed from James was slipping off one shoulder, but you somehow managed to look effortlessly radiant. Sirius rolled his eyes again.
“Morning, love,” James said, his voice soft and warm in a way Sirius had never heard before.
“Morning, Jamie,” you mumbled, your voice thick with sleep as you shuffled into the kitchen.
James practically tripped over himself to hand you the coffee. Sirius watched, amused, as James’s fingers brushed yours in the exchange, his entire face lighting up like someone had cast Lumos Maxima directly on it.
You took a long sip of the coffee, humming in contentment. “Perfect, as always,” you murmured, looking up at James with a sleepy smile that could have melted a Dementor.
And then, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, you leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.
Sirius nearly choked on his coffee. He wasn’t sure what was more painful — the nauseating sweetness of the moment or the fact that neither of you seemed to realize how completely ridiculous you were.
“Right, well, I’ll just... leave you two to it,” Sirius said, waving his mug in mock surrender as he backed out of the room. “Try not to get married while I’m gone.”
“Shut up, Sirius,” James called after him, but the way his voice wavered slightly betrayed his embarrassment.
By the time Sirius reached the living room, Euphemia and Fleamont were already seated by the fireplace, exchanging knowing glances like they’d seen this coming a mile away.
“Is he making her breakfast again?” Euphemia asked with a smile that was far too pleased for Sirius’s liking.
“Every detail,” Sirius confirmed, sinking into an armchair. “I’m starting to think he’s auditioning for Witch Weekly’s ‘Most Devoted Boyfriend’ feature.”
“Don’t tease him too much,” Euphemia said with a chuckle. “He’s just like his father was with me.”
“Merlin, it’s contagious,” Sirius groaned, dramatically throwing an arm over his face. “If I start acting like that, someone put me out of my misery.”
But even as he joked, Sirius couldn’t help but smile. Because for all his teasing, it was obvious to anyone with eyes that James was hopelessly gone for you. And judging by the way you looked at him, Sirius had a feeling the feeling was mutual — even if neither of you was bright enough to figure it out.
AND THEN THERE WERE THE SMALL, INTIMATE TOUCHES SIRIUS COULDN’T IGNORE, no matter how much he wanted to. James’s hand resting on the small of your back as he guided you through a doorway, like you might somehow lose your way without him. The way his fingers traced lazy patterns on your knee under the dinner table, as though the contact grounded him. Or how he’d tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear, his touch lingering just long enough to make Sirius roll his eyes and fight back a gag.
It was maddening to watch, really. Not because Sirius minded the affection — no, James deserved a bit of softness in his life, and you were undeniably good for him. It was maddening because you were both so oblivious. James was a goner, sure, but you weren’t far behind. Every time you leaned into his touch, smiled up at him like he hung the stars, or called him Jamie in that soft, teasing tone, it was like watching two wizards tiptoe around a cauldron, waiting for it to explode.
One evening, as the three of you lounged in the living room, the dynamic was on full display. The Potters had insisted on a family movie night — Euphemia’s idea, of course, because family time was important. Sirius couldn’t say no to the fire roaring in the hearth, the massive bowl of popcorn, and the ridiculous Muggle Christmas film flickering on the screen. But as the minutes passed, he started to regret not escaping upstairs.
James had situated himself squarely in the middle of the sofa, with you tucked neatly under his arm. His hand played absently with the ends of your hair, fingers twisting the strands like he didn’t even realize he was doing it. You had your legs curled beneath you, leaning into him with the kind of comfort Sirius had only ever seen in old couples who had been together for decades. James pressed a kiss to your temple, murmuring something Sirius couldn’t quite catch.
It was unbearable.
“Oi, lovebirds,” Sirius interrupted, launching a piece of popcorn at James. It hit him square in the forehead, a small but satisfying victory. “Some of us are trying to watch the movie without choking on all this sap.”
You burst into laughter, sitting up just enough to toss a handful of popcorn back at him. “You’re just jealous, Black.”
“Jealous? Me?” Sirius placed a hand over his chest, mock-offended. “Of what, exactly? Watching James Potter transform into a human puddle before my very eyes? No thanks. I’ll pass.”
James didn’t even flinch. He just grinned, looking every bit the lovesick fool he was. “You’ll get it one day, Pads,” he said with infuriating calm.
Sirius snorted, grabbing a handful of popcorn and tossing it into his mouth. “Right. Because what I’m really missing in my life is the chance to turn into that.” He gestured at the two of you with a dramatic wave of his hand.
But despite his teasing, Sirius couldn’t ignore the warmth spreading in his chest as he watched the scene unfold. James, the arrogant, Quidditch-obsessed, devil-may-care prankster he’d known all his life, was utterly, completely, hopelessly in love. And the worst — or perhaps best — part? He didn’t even seem to realize it.
BY THE END OF THESE COUPLE OF DAYS VACK AT THE POTTER COTTAGE, SIRIUS KNEW. James Potter wasn’t in love with Lily Evans — not really, not anymore and maybe not ever. He was in love with you. It wasn’t in the dramatic declarations Sirius had once teased James about making to Lily. No, this was quieter, deeper. It was in the way James’s gaze softened whenever you spoke, like he couldn’t believe you were real. In the way his hand always seemed to find yours, even when there was no need for it. And in the way his entire being lit up when you smiled at him.
And you? You weren’t much better. You laughed at his terrible jokes, poked fun at him with an ease Sirius envied, and looked at James like he was the center of the universe. It was so obvious it made Sirius want to scream.
“This isn’t normal, you know,” Sirius said later that night, cornering James in the kitchen as he made tea.
“What’s not normal?” James asked, far too casually for Sirius’s liking.
“You and her. You’re not just friends. Stop pretending you are.”
James frowned, his brow furrowing in confusion. “We are just friends. She’s my best mate, Pads. You know that.”
Sirius laughed, loud and sharp, shaking his head. “Oh, Prongsie. You’re an idiot.”
“Am not,” James shot back, but there was a flicker of doubt in his voice.
Sirius leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms. “If you’re just friends, then I’m a unicorn. Face it, Potter — you’re in love.”
James opened his mouth, probably to argue, but then you walked into the room, yawning and looking for all the world like you belonged there. James’s expression softened immediately, his gaze lingering on you like you were the only thing that mattered.
Sirius didn’t say another word. He didn’t need to.
Because James Potter was already lost, and for once, Sirius didn’t mind watching his best mate fall.
March 30, 1975
My Love, It’s been ages since your last letter, and I miss you like mad. Exams are coming up, and I’m hopeless at concentrating without your words to keep me sane. The Marauders are in full swing, though—our latest adventure involved sneaking a swamp into one of the corridors. Filch is still grumbling about it. I told you before how Lily has the most beautiful laugh, right? Well, I think she might finally be warming up to me. I’m playing it cool, but honestly, every time she looks at me, I feel like a kid with a new broomstick. And yet... you’re still the one I write to when I want to share everything. Funny, isn’t it? How’s the ballet going? I remember you mentioned your school recital. I wish I could see you dance. You’d be like a dream on stage, graceful and bright. Maybe one day. Forever yours, Jamie
SIRIUS BLACK WASN’T ONE TO BELIEVE IN LOVE — not the kind spun into poetry or whispered in secret corners of libraries. Sweet words, fleeting touches, long glances… all of it sounded like an elaborate prank. A fantasy created by people who hadn’t tasted the bitterness of the world.
How could anyone believe in love when raised in a house where affection was a weapon and the family motto might as well have been stab first, smile later? The Black family had given Sirius many things: wealth, privilege, and a last name dripping in infamy. But love? That was a foreign concept, spoken in a dialect he’d never been taught.
And yet, Sirius Black — child of darkness and rebellion — had found light. That light had a name: James Potter. From the moment James had barreled into Sirius’s life, grinning like the sun itself, everything had shifted. James had yanked him out of the shadows and dragged him into a world Sirius didn’t know existed — a world filled with warmth, laughter, and actual hugs.
It wasn’t just James, though. It was the whole bloody Potter family. Euphemia and Fleamont were like characters out of a Muggle holiday film. Euphemia, with her soft, unrelenting affection, had made it her personal mission to drown Sirius in love and sweaters. Fleamont’s laughter could fill a room, a deep, belly-shaking sound that warmed Sirius from the inside out. Together, they moved through the world as though their love was an unshakable force, a steady undercurrent in every shared look and word.
“Darling,” Fleamont would call from across the kitchen, leaning over the counter with a newspaper in hand.
“Yes, Fleamont?” Euphemia would reply, her smile soft and teasing as she stirred whatever heavenly dish she was making.
Never by name. Always darling.
Still, if love like that was rare, James bloody Potter seemed hell-bent on stumbling into it without even realizing.
James and you had been dancing around each other for years, so oblivious it was borderline painful. Sirius sometimes wondered if you two were practicing for a comedy sketch, the way you acted like best mates while exuding the kind of tension that could make a Dementor blush. If Sirius had a Galleon for every time James looked at you like you were the only person in the room, he could have bought his own Quidditch team by now. And he's only been watching you for a couple of days.
IT WAS THE FOURT DAY OF HIS CHRISTMAS STAY AT THE POTTER HOME, and the dynamic was impossible to ignore. You and James were practically inseparable, moving through the house like two planets caught in the same orbit. You helped Euphemia with the decorations while James carried boxes of ornaments up from the cellar, always hovering nearby like he was afraid you might vanish if he looked away.
“You know,” Sirius said, leaning casually against the doorway, “most people don’t need to supervise someone hanging tinsel.”
James didn’t even glance back. “She’s not most people, Pads.”
Sirius groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “For Merlin’s sake, just marry her already.”
James froze, an ornament dangling from his hand. “What are you on about? We’re just friends.”
“Sure, and I’m a Muggle,” Sirius shot back, rolling his eyes.
You, blissfully unaware of the conversation, turned from where you were perched on a stepstool. “What are you two arguing about now?”
“Nothing,” James said quickly, his cheeks tinged pink. “Sirius is just being Sirius.”
“That’s never good,” you teased, smirking at Sirius.
“Oi! I’ll have you know I’m delightful company.” Sirius crossed his arms, feigning offense. “But if you’re not careful, pretty, you’ll end up trapped in Potter’s web of undying devotion.”
You raised an eyebrow, stepping down from the stool. “Potter’s web of what now?”
James shot Sirius a warning glare, but Sirius just grinned. “Oh, nothing. Just that James here is—”
“Hungry!” James interrupted, loudly and awkwardly. “Right, Pads? Didn’t you say you were starving?”
Sirius barked a laugh, shaking his head as James practically shoved him out of the room. “Subtle as ever, Prongs.”
From Sirius’s vantage point, it was painfully obvious. James was hopelessly, stupidly in love with you. And you? You weren’t much better. The way you smiled at him, teased him, trusted him without question — it was all the evidence Sirius needed. And yet, you were both blissfully, idiotically unaware.
One evening, as Sirius sprawled on the sofa in the Potters’ living room, he couldn’t help but notice the way you and James interacted. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor, rifling through a box of Christmas decorations Euphemia had set out.
“Jamie, hand me the gold bauble,” you said, tossing him a quick glance over your shoulder.
James, who had been half-heartedly untangling a string of lights, immediately perked up. “Which one?”
You rolled your eyes, a smile tugging at your lips. “The one in your hand, genius.”
James laughed, tossing it gently toward you. It missed entirely, landing with a soft thud on the carpet.
“Good aim, Prongs,” Sirius drawled from his spot on the couch. “Truly inspiring.”
“Shut it, Padfoot,” James shot back, but his grin never faltered. He turned to you, sheepish. “Sorry, love.”
Love. Sirius didn’t miss the way the word slipped out so naturally, like James had been saying it his whole life. And he definitely didn’t miss the way your cheeks flushed as you ducked your head, pretending to focus on the decorations.
LATER THAT EVENING, SIRIUS FOUND HIMSELF LAYING ON THE SOFA IN THE LIVING ROOM AGAIN (it probably was his favorite place in the house by now), a book abandoned on his chest as he watched Euphemia and Fleamont dancing in the kitchen once, a slow, swaying movement that didn’t match the upbeat Muggle music crackling from the wireless. Euphemia had rested her head on Fleamont’s chest, his arms wrapped around her like it was the only place in the world she belonged. It wasn’t dramatic or flashy — just simple and unshakable. And it made Sirius ache in ways he didn’t understand.
And a moment later they were in the same kitchen, preparing tea and laughing softly as they worked.
“Darling, pass me the sugar, would you?” Fleamont said, his voice warm and affectionate.
Euphemia handed him the sugar bowl without looking up, her smile soft. “Here you go, darlin'.”
It was the kind of exchange that Sirius might have mocked once. But now, as he watched the way Fleamont leaned in to kiss Euphemia’s cheek, or how she swatted him away with a laugh when he tried to sneak a biscuit, he felt something unfamiliar tugging at his chest.
“They’re sickeningly sweet, aren’t they?”
Sirius turned to see you standing in the doorway, a mug of hot chocolate in your hands.
“They are,” he admitted, sitting up and motioning for you to join him. “But it’s sort of... nice. In a vomit-inducing way.”
You laughed, settling beside him. “I think it’s lovely. They’re so in tune with each other, you know? Like they’ve been dancing to the same song for decades.”
Sirius tilted his head, watching you as you spoke. “And what about you?”
“What about me?”
“Do you want that? The whole ‘dancing to the same song’ thing?”
You hesitated, your fingers tracing the rim of your mug. “I don’t know. I suppose it would be nice, but... I’m not sure it’s in the cards for me.”
Sirius frowned. “Why not?”
You shrugged, a wistful smile tugging at your lips. “Because my dance partner’s too busy tripping over his own feet to notice I’m right here.”
Sirius stared at you, his mind racing. Did you mean James? Surely you meant James. But before he could say anything, James walked in, ruffling his hair like he always did.
“Alright, what are you two plotting?”
“World domination,” Sirius replied without missing a beat. “Want in?”
James grinned, flopping onto the sofa and immediately throwing an arm around your shoulders. “Always.”
Sirius watched as you leaned into James, your head resting against his shoulder. James turned to look at you, his expression soft and unguarded.
And that’s when Sirius knew — again, because he seemed to be realizing this every ten minutes — just how much trouble you two were in.
DAYS LATER, SIRIUS WAS STANDING BY THE WINDOW OF THE POTTER COTTAGE, a steaming mug of hot chocolate warming his hands. The world outside was a vision of winter — snow blanketed the ground in pristine white, the trees bowed under its weight, and the air held a sharp, crystalline stillness. Inside, the house was alive with warmth: the crackle of the fire, the gentle hum of Euphemia’s humming, and Fleamont’s cheerful banter as he set up a chessboard by the hearth.
But Sirius wasn’t watching any of that. His attention was fixed on the two figures trudging down the snow-covered path just beyond the window.
You and James walked side by side, your mittened hands brushing against each other with the kind of unconscious familiarity that spoke volumes. The path ahead glittered in the weak afternoon sun, the frost catching the light like scattered diamonds. Clouds of breath curled into the frosty air as you laughed at something James said, the sound clear and bright, even from a distance.
Sirius couldn’t hear the words, but he didn’t need to. He saw everything in the way James turned his head toward you, his face lit with the sort of joy that was impossible to fake.
Then it happened — your foot slipped on a patch of hidden ice. Sirius’s grip on his mug tightened for half a heartbeat, but James was already there. His hand shot out, steadying you before you could fall, as if the world might crumble if he didn’t catch you in time.
“Careful there, love,” James said, his voice carrying easily through the crisp winter air.
You laughed, brushing snow from your coat as your cheeks turned pink — not just from the cold, Sirius was sure. “You’d think I’d have learned how to walk by now.”
James grinned, tugging you a little closer to his side. “Good thing you’ve got me.”
“Good thing indeed,” you replied, your eyes crinkling at the corners, your voice soft and full of affection.
And then, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, James reached out to brush a stray snowflake from your hair. His fingers lingered for just a moment, his expression open and unguarded, filled with something so pure that Sirius had to look away for a second.
It wasn’t the first time Sirius had seen that look on James’s face. It was the same quiet, awestruck gaze he’d noticed a thousand times when James thought no one was watching. But seeing it now, against the backdrop of snow and laughter, it struck Sirius like a Bludger to the chest.
That’s how Fleamont looked at Euphemia, Sirius realized. He’d seen it that very morning, when Euphemia had walked into the kitchen with a sleepy smile and Fleamont had paused mid-sentence, his face lighting up as if she were the sunrise itself.
Sirius took a long sip of his hot chocolate, the sweetness of it sharp against the lump forming in his throat. He muttered to himself, a small smile tugging at his lips, “Never by name. Always love.”
“What are you smiling about, Sirius?” Euphemia’s voice broke the quiet, warm and curious. She stood in the doorway, wiping her hands on a tea towel.
He turned, raising his mug in a mock toast. “Oh, nothing, Mrs. P. Just watching James make a right fool of himself in the snow. Again.”
Euphemia chuckled, stepping closer to peer out the window. Her gaze softened as she spotted you and James, now engaged in some sort of playful shoving match, James clearly letting you win.
“Hopeless,” Sirius added, shaking his head.
“Like father, like son,” Euphemia said with a knowing smile.
Sirius huffed a laugh. “Yeah. Exactly like that.”
They stood in companionable silence for a moment, watching the scene outside. Sirius’s gaze lingered on James’s hand as it rested on your shoulder, the ease of the gesture speaking louder than words.
And for the first time in what felt like forever, Sirius allowed himself to believe. Not just in the love he saw in James’s face or the easy affection between Fleamont and Euphemia. But in the idea that maybe—just maybe—love wasn’t the cruel, twisted thing his family had tried to make him believe.
Maybe love, real love, was something entirely different.
November 27, 1976
My Jamie, Winter has settled over Beauxbatons, and the mountains are kissed with snow. I wish you could see how the frost sparkles on the trees. I think of you often, imagining the mischief you’re up to at Hogwarts. I heard you’re Quidditch Captain now — congratulations! I can already picture you soaring through the air, the wind in your hair and that unstoppable grin. You were born to lead, Jamie, and I’m so proud of you. Your mum wrote me again last week. She’s sent another scarf, this one in Gryffindor colors. She says it’ll keep me close to you. It does, in a way — I wrap it around myself when I miss you most. Do you think of me as much as I think of you? You’re my constant, my warmth on the coldest days. Soon it’ll be Christmas, and we’ll have the stars and endless nights to talk about everything. Until then, stay safe, my Jamie. Forever yours, Love
THE CHRISTMAS CHAOS AT THE POTTER HOUSE STARTED BEFORE SIRIUS EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO GRUMBLE ABOUT THE HOUR. The sun wasn’t up yet, but Fleamont Potter most certainly was, barreling into James’s room with the energy of a man half his age. Before Sirius could properly complain — or hide under the covers — he and James were unceremoniously hauled to the garage. Their mission? Assembling the absurdly large Christmas table that Euphemia insisted on every year.
Sirius swore under his breath, wrestling with the oversized wooden monstrosity. “You know,” he grumbled, glaring at James, “if your parents had just gone for a nice, normal-sized table, we wouldn’t be out here freezing our—”
“Language, Sirius!” Fleamont interrupted cheerfully, though there was a definite glint of amusement in his eyes.
Sirius rolled his eyes but complied, though only because Euphemia’s kitchen smelled like heaven, and he was determined to earn his way to a plate of whatever was roasting in the oven.
Inside, the house was a picture of festive perfection: holly strung along the bannisters, twinkling fairy lights glowing softly in the corners, and a wireless by the fireplace playing carols just loud enough to make Sirius hum along when no one was listening. Euphemia’s soft laughter echoed from the kitchen, mingling with yours as the two of you prepared a feast fit for kings — or in this case, a house full of Marauders.
And James? Well, James wasn’t himself.
Sirius noticed it almost immediately. His best mate was usually a hurricane of enthusiasm during the holidays, cracking jokes, sneaking sweets from the kitchen, and generally making a nuisance of himself. But today, James kept glancing toward the kitchen like a puppy waiting for its owner to come home.
The idiot was besotted.
Every time your laughter drifted into the room, James’s head whipped around like he was under some sort of spell. If you so much as said his name, he’d stop mid-sentence, his eyes lighting up like the Christmas tree in the corner. Sirius would’ve teased him mercilessly if it weren’t so... obvious. Painfully, ridiculously obvious.
LATER THAT AFTERNOON, WHEN JAMES AND FLEAMONT HAD VANISHED TO THE GARAGE — probably to charm something they had no business charming — Sirius found himself tasked with tidying up James’s room. He grumbled the whole time, of course. Cleaning wasn’t his style, and James’s room was a disaster zone: Quidditch magazines spilling off the desk, parchment crumpled in corners, and socks scattered in ways that defied the laws of physics.
“Honestly, Prongs,” Sirius muttered, holding up a suspiciously stiff sock with the tips of his fingers. “How are you supposed to woo Evans — or anyone, for that matter — when your room smells like the wrong end of a hippogriff?”
As he moved to clear a particularly cluttered shelf, a box caught his eye. It was tucked in the far corner, partially hidden behind an old textbook. Sirius raised an eyebrow. Anything stashed away like that was bound to be interesting. With a mischievous grin, he reached for it, only for the entire thing to tumble off the shelf, spilling its contents across the floor.
“Bloody hell,” he swore, crouching to pick up the mess. His hand froze mid-reach when he realized what had fallen out: letters. Dozens of them, bundled in ribbons of various colors.
Sirius sat back on his heels, eyeing the pile. His curiosity, as always, got the better of him. With a glance at the door to ensure James wasn’t about to barge in, he grabbed the nearest stack and plopped himself onto the bed, cross-legged and grinning like a kid about to open a box of Zonko’s best tricks.
The first letter he unfolded smelled faintly of vanilla. Your scent, Sirius realized, and his grin faltered for just a moment.
October 7, 1971 Beauxbatons is so different from Hogwarts. The professors here are so strict, James, sometimes it feels like I’m being watched all the time! I miss the feeling of freedom you must have at Hogwarts, even if you’re always getting into trouble with Sirius. Do you ever just wish you could escape the rules and run wild?
Sirius chuckled softly, his eyes scanning the elegant handwriting. “Trouble? Me? Never,” he muttered, his tone dripping with mock innocence.
But as he reread the letter, a strange tightness settled in his chest. The way you wrote about Hogwarts — it wasn’t just about the school. It was about James. Even miles away, you saw him as something larger than life, as the embodiment of freedom and adventure.
And James? The idiot probably thought you were just being polite.
February 21, 1971 Sirius sounds like a bit of a handful, but I bet he’s hilarious. I think I’d like him, even if he does cause chaos. You all sound like you’re constantly up to something, but I imagine you get into trouble a lot, don’t you? Anyway, I’d love to hear more about his pranks— I’m sure you and him must make a great team!
Sirius barked a laugh. “A handful? Pretty, you have no idea.”
Still, the words struck a chord. He could see it so clearly now: the way you’d woven yourself into James’s world with every playful question and teasing remark. You weren’t just curious about his adventures; you wanted to be a part of them, to understand the boy behind the Quidditch bravado and the wild schemes.
Then came the letters about Lily.
March 25, 1973 James, you always talk about Lily, and I think it’s sweet that you have such admiration for her. I bet she doesn’t even know how much you like her. She sounds like she’d be really hard to win over, but I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Just don’t forget to have fun along the way, yeah?
Sirius groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “Merlin’s saggy pants, Prongs, how thick can you be?”
He could almost picture you writing those words, the careful balance between encouragement and self-sacrifice. Even as you pushed James toward Lily, your letters were saturated with love — pure, unguarded, and heartbreakingly unspoken.
It was infuriating. How could two people so obviously meant for each other be so oblivious?
By the time Sirius reached the later letters, the humor had drained from his face.
December 5, 1974 Your mum sent me another gift! She’s so sweet, and I can’t believe how kind she is to me. It always makes me feel so loved. You know, when I’m away from you, it’s like I’m missing something... like the best part of my day. I never want to take our friendship for granted.
The parchment crinkled slightly as Sirius’s grip tightened. That wasn’t just gratitude — it was devotion, raw and aching. The kind of love that didn’t need fireworks or grand declarations because it was already woven into every moment, every memory.
And James? Sirius shook his head, a pang of frustration mixing with pity. James had spent years chasing the idea of love, blind to the fact that he already had it.
The final letter undid him.
December 12, 1975 I was thinking about you today, and how you’ve always been there for me — whether it was listening to me complain about the Beauxbatons professors or laughing with me when I’m in a bad mood. You’re always there, and I think that’s why I trust you more than anyone else. You’ll never know how much that means to me, Jamie.
Sirius closed his eyes, letting the words sink in. You didn’t just see James; you knew him. The real James — the boy who laughed too loudly, who lived for Quidditch, who couldn’t resist a good prank. You loved James, not the idealized version he tried to be for Lily or anyone else.
Sirius exhaled sharply, folding the letter with a reverence he didn’t usually bother with. His heart ached — not for himself, but for you, for James, for the years you’d both spent dancing around the truth.
“Merlin, you’re both idiots,” he muttered, though his voice was softer now.
Sirius ran a hand through his dark hair, ruffling it further into disarray, his mind replaying what he’d just uncovered. The letters — those bloody letters — had been the key. Now everything fell into place: James’s barely-there smiles over the past few days, the way his gaze lingered when you entered the room, the softness in his laugh when you said something clever. James Potter, his brash, unrelenting, wildfire of a best friend, was utterly transformed around you.
Balanced. Grounded. Sincere.
It was unbearably obvious now, as if someone had pulled back the curtain.
And yet, the idiot still had Lily Evans’s picture on his bedside table in his dorm.
Sirius’s gaze fell on the stack of letters once more, neatly tied with a ribbons that seemed far too delicate for James’s usual chaos. He could have left it alone, let James figure things out in his own thick-headed way — but that wasn’t Sirius Black’s style. If there was one thing he’d learned from years of pranks, broken curfews, and bending the rules until they snapped, it was this: sometimes people needed a push, even if it stung a little.
Sirius exhaled and leaned back against the headboard, the letters still in hand. "You're a fucking idiot," he muttered under his breath.
A slow smirk tugged at his lips. Oh, the look on James’s face when he confronted him — it would be priceless. Sirius wasn’t one for sentiment, but for you? For James? Maybe, just maybe, he’d make an exception.
The door creaked open, and James stumbled into the room, his steps heavy with exhaustion. Sirius watched as his best friend all but collapsed into the armchair by the bookcase, running a hand through his already-messy hair. He looked like he’d been wrestling dragons all day — or, more likely, his dad’s endless list of chores.
But there was something else, too. A tension in his jaw, a restless energy that practically vibrated off him. Sirius could see it plain as day: James hadn’t seen her all day, and it was driving him mad. She was so close — just a staircase or two away — and yet untouchable.
Sirius cleared his throat, breaking the silence. “So, Prongs, is this why you’ve been obsessing over the owl schedule for years? Didn’t peg you as the secret pen-pal type.”
James’s head snapped up, his hazel eyes narrowing in confusion. They darted to the bed, where the stack of letters lay exposed, and then to the shelf where the box had clearly been moved. He froze for a second before letting out a long, resigned sigh.
“Pads,” James said, his voice low and uneven, heavy with an edge Sirius rarely heard. “It’s not cool to read someone else’s letters.”
The room seemed to still, the words settling into the air like dust, soft but laden with weight. James’s eyes — those unmistakable hazel orbs that always held a spark of mischief — were guarded now, a flicker of something raw and unspoken behind them.
Sirius leaned forward, a grin stretching across his face like the blade of a knife, sharp and unapologetic. “Not cool,” he echoed, his voice laced with mockery, “is keeping this from me for six bloody years. Care to explain, or should I guess?”
James flinched, the tension in his shoulders visible even through the soft knit of his jumper. He moved toward the bed with the slow, deliberate steps of someone walking a tightrope, balancing the fragile threads of anger and restraint. The dim light of the room cast long shadows over his frame, making him seem taller, older — more vulnerable.
He reached for one of the letters, his hand hesitating for the briefest moment before his fingers curled around the parchment. His thumb brushed over the faded ink, tracing the loops of her handwriting like a blind man reading Braille. The edges of the letter were frayed, softened by years of touch, and as he lifted it to his face, Sirius caught the faintest smile tugging at James’s lips.
It was a small, private thing, that smile. Reverent. It wasn’t the boyish grin Sirius knew so well, the one James wielded like a weapon to charm or disarm. No, this was different — softer, as though the mere act of holding the letter in his hand brought James closer to something sacred.
Sirius felt his chest tighten. He’d seen James in every possible state — triumphant on the Quidditch pitch, livid after a prank gone wrong, devastated when the world seemed too heavy — but this? This was new. This was James Potter unguarded.
“She’s different, isn’t she?” Sirius said, his voice quieter now, almost gentle.
James didn’t look up. He sat on the edge of the bed, sorting the letters with a precision that bordered on ritual. Each movement was deliberate, his fingers careful not to smudge the ink or crease the paper. Sirius had never seen him handle anything with such care — not his broomstick, not his glasses, not even the Marauder’s Map.
“It’s not what you think,” James murmured, but the words lacked conviction, as though he knew they’d crumble under scrutiny.
Sirius scoffed, leaning back in his chair with an exasperated snort. “Not what I think? Mate, I think you’re in love with her and too much of an idiot to admit it. Am I wrong?”
James froze mid-motion, the ribbon he was tying slipping from his fingers. For a moment, he didn’t speak, didn’t move — just stared at the letters as if they might answer for him.
“She’s…” He trailed off, his voice barely audible. “She’s different, Pads. She’s… everything.”
There it was. The confession, raw and trembling in the space between them. Sirius leaned forward, elbows on his knees, his expression unusually serious.
“Yeah,” Sirius said softly. “She is. And that’s exactly why you’re a bloody idiot for pretending she’s not.”
James let out a bitter laugh, the sound low and fractured. He raked a hand through his already-messy hair, his movements frenetic, as though he were trying to shake off the weight of the moment.
“You don’t get it,” he said, his voice cracking under the strain. “It’s not that simple.”
“Like hell it isn’t,” Sirius shot back, his tone sharp but not cruel. “I’ve watched you for years, Prongs. You talk about Evans like she’s some kind of bloody trophy, but her? You look at her like she’s the air you breathe. Like without her, you’d suffocate. And you’re sitting here telling me it’s complicated?”
James’s laugh turned hollow, empty. “Lily’s… safe. She’s who I’m supposed to want. She’s not my bloody childhood best friend.”
The words hung in the air, and for a moment, Sirius said nothing. Then, he barked out a laugh, loud and biting.
“Safe?” he repeated, incredulous. “Since when have you ever played it safe, James Potter? Love’s not supposed to be safe. It’s messy, terrifying, and completely bloody worth it. Or are you seriously telling me you’d rather be ‘safe’ than happy?”
James looked up at him then, and Sirius’s breath caught. His best friend’s hazel eyes, usually so full of fire and mischief, were red-rimmed and glistening with unshed tears.
“Do you think…” James’s voice wavered, barely above a whisper. “Do you think she feels the same?”
Sirius’s grin returned, slow and wolfish. “Mate, judging by these letters? She’s just as much of an idiot in love as you are.”
For a moment, James didn’t move, didn’t even breathe. And then, like a dam breaking, he laughed — a shaky, unsteady sound that grew louder, freer, until it filled the room.
“What do I do?” James asked, his voice raw and trembling with vulnerability.
Sirius stood, crossing the room to clap a hand on James’s shoulder. “You start by telling her everything. No more hiding. No more pretending. You owe her — and yourself — more than that.”
James nodded slowly, the faintest glimmer of determination flickering in his eyes. “You’re right.”
“Of course I’m right,” Sirius said, smirking. “I’m always right.”
As James reached for the letters, carefully tucking them back into their box, Sirius watched him with a rare sense of pride. This wasn’t just James Potter, the fearless Quidditch captain, the prankster extraordinaire. This was James Potter, a boy on the cusp of something extraordinary.
And for once, Sirius Black wasn’t just causing chaos — he was helping someone find their way through it.
THE SNOW OUTSIDE FELL IN HEAVY, DELIBERATE FLAKES, BLANKETING THE WORLD IN A SOFT, UNBROKEN QUIET. Sirius stood on the second-floor landing of the Potter home, a mug of hot coffee cradled in his hands. The rich aroma mingled with the faint scent of pine and cinnamon wafting from the decorated tree below. The whole house seemed to hum with a kind of warmth that Sirius rarely allowed himself to imagine, let alone experience.
From his vantage point, he had a perfect view of the living room below. The fire in the hearth crackled gently, casting golden shadows across the walls. Mr. Potter sat on the sofa with an arm draped around Mrs. Potter, the two of them cocooned under a soft plaid blanket. A book rested on Fleamont’s lap as he read aloud, his voice low and steady. Euphemia’s head rested against his shoulder, her eyes half-closed in serene contentment. Every so often, she’d smile at something he read or reach up to adjust her husband’s glasses, her touch so light and familiar it made Sirius’s chest ache with longing — not jealousy, but something softer. A wistfulness for this kind of unshakable bond.
But his gaze didn’t linger on the Potters for long. It drifted to the corner of the room, where the Christmas tree’s twinkling lights bathed two figures in a kaleidoscope of warm colors. You and James sat on the floor amidst the chaos of torn wrapping paper and open boxes. The morning’s gifts had already been exchanged, but it seemed James had saved something special for last.
Even from here, Sirius could see the faint nervousness in his best friend’s posture. James wasn’t one to fidget, yet his hands moved restlessly, smoothing invisible creases on his trousers, brushing imaginary dust from the tree skirt. His eyes, though, were unwavering as they watched you. You were cross-legged on the fluffy white rug, your hair falling in soft waves over your shoulder as you picked idly at a ribbon. Sirius noticed how your gaze lingered on James, curious and full of quiet affection.
James leaned closer, his voice low but carrying an unmistakable lilt of mischief. “One of the owls was late,” he said, holding up a slightly weathered envelope. The parchment looked a little worse for wear, its edges crumpled as if it had been handled too often. “It dropped this off this morning… asked me to give it to the most beautiful girl in the world.”
You laughed softly, shaking your head as you reached for the envelope. “Still using that line, are you, Potter?”
“Can you blame me? It’s worked wonders so far.” His grin was cocky, but Sirius saw the faintest flicker of uncertainty in his eyes as he handed it over.
You rolled your eyes, but the way you bit your lip betrayed your own anticipation. Turning the envelope over in your hands, you ran your fingers along the black-inked scrawl of your name before carefully breaking the seal. Sirius leaned forward slightly, his coffee forgotten as he watched the scene unfold.
The moment the letter emerged, the air seemed to shift. Your eyes darted across the page, your expression softening with each word. Sirius could see the precise moment the meaning settled in — the way your lips parted in surprise, the way your shoulders tensed, then relaxed, as if letting the weight of something long unspoken sink in. James’s hand rested on your knee, his thumb moving in small, nervous circles.
“Love?” James’s voice was barely above a whisper, his usual bravado stripped away. He was watching you as though the world rested on your reaction, his fingers tightening ever so slightly around yours. “You’re awfully quiet. Should I be worried? Say something. Anything.”
You didn’t answer immediately. Your eyes stayed fixed on the page, even as a tear slipped down your cheek, catching the light like a tiny diamond. James froze, his face paling slightly.
“Hey, hey, no…” His voice cracked. “Don’t cry. If it’s rubbish, just say so and we can forget it. Burn it, even.” He laughed nervously, though it sounded forced. “I’ll… I’ll pretend it never happened.”
That’s when you looked up, meeting his gaze with eyes so full of emotion it made Sirius’s breath hitch even from across the room. You didn’t say anything. Instead, you reached out, cupping James’s face in your hands. He stilled under your touch, his wide-eyed surprise melting into something softer as you leaned in and pressed your lips to his.
It wasn’t the kind of kiss Sirius might have teased him about — not fiery or impulsive. It was quiet, deliberate, and full of a tenderness that made Sirius feel like an intruder, even though he couldn’t look away. James’s hands found your waist, pulling you closer as though you might slip away if he let go.
Sirius smiled to himself, feeling a rare swell of pride. James had always been the heart of their little group, the one who wore his feelings openly. And now, here he was, finding a kind of love that Sirius knew would anchor him forever.
A sharp click shattered the moment, and both of you turned your heads to find Sirius standing at the bottom of the stairs, a wide grin plastered across his face as he waved a freshly developed photo in the air.
“Perfect!” he announced, shaking the picture. “This one’s going in the family album. And when my godchildren ask how their parents got together, I’ll tell them Uncle Sirius orchestrated the whole thing.”
You laughed, leaning your forehead against James’s shoulder, while James groaned, though the corners of his mouth twitched upward. “You’re a menace, Pads,” he said, though his voice held no bite.
“A charming menace,” Sirius replied, retreating toward the couch where the elder Potters were watching the scene unfold with amused smiles.
“Everything alright, dear?” Euphemia asked, her eyes twinkling with affection as she glanced between you and James.
James nodded, his hand still firmly clasping yours. “Yeah, Mum. Everything’s perfect.”
Mrs. Potter’s smile widened, and she reached over to pat your hand. “Welcome to the family, my dear. Though, truth be told, you’ve always been part of it.”
“Thank you,” you said softly, your voice thick with emotion.
THE REST OF THE DAY PASSED IN A GOLDEN HAZE OF LAUGHTER AND WARMTH. Euphemia roped you into helping her in the kitchen, insisting you learn the secret to her mulled wine. Sirius watched from the doorway, sipping his coffee and grinning as you tried to follow her directions, only for James to sneak in and steal a taste from the pot, earning himself a playful swat on the arm.
By evening, the fire burned low, and the snow outside had blanketed the world in an even deeper hush. Sirius sat in his favorite armchair, a blanket draped over his legs as he watched the scene before him. You and James were curled up together on the rug, a cozy tangle of limbs as you whispered to each other, your laughter soft and unguarded. The Potters sat nearby, sharing quiet conversation, their hands intertwined.
For a moment, Sirius closed his eyes, letting the warmth of the room and the sounds of contentment wash over him. He thought of his own childhood Christmases — cold, sterile affairs devoid of joy. And then he thought of this… the home James had built, not just for himself but for everyone he cared about. It was the kind of love Sirius had always believed was out of reach. Until now.
“Merry Christmas, Prongs,” he murmured, raising his empty mug in a toast to his best friend.
James glanced up, catching his eye. “Merry Christmas, Pads,” he replied, his grin soft but unmistakably James.
James had turned to you, his hand cradling your cheek as he pressed a lingering kiss to your temple. You smiled up at him, your fingers tracing lazy patterns on his arm.
"Merry Christmas, love," James murmured, his voice low and filled with a tenderness that made Sirius’s chest tighten.
"Merry Christmas, Jamie," you replied, resting your forehead against his.
Sirius chuckled, settling back into his chair, the warmth of the moment settling deep in his bones. The world outside might be cold and uncertain, but here, in this house, surrounded by love and laughter, everything felt exactly as it should be.
He thought about how James Potter had once given him the home and warmth he never had. And now, it seemed, Sirius Black had helped his best friend find his way home, too.
FROM THE ARCHIVE OF SIRIUS BLACK:
To my future, undoubtedly brilliant, devilishly handsome, and wildly talented nephews,
Listen up, you little rascals. You don’t know me yet, but let me make one thing very clear: I’m the reason you even exist. That’s right, your ridiculously perfect Uncle Sirius is the mastermind behind it all. Without my charm, wit, and expert meddling, your parents might still be doing the whole "will-they-won't-they" nonsense.
So, when you’re out there ruling the world, remember to thank yours truly. The coolest, suavest, and most humble uncle you'll ever have — Sirius Black. You're welcome.
December 25, 1976 My Love, It’s Christmas, and the house is quiet now, the soft hum of the tree lights the only sound. I’ve been sitting here for hours, staring at this parchment, trying to find words big enough for what I feel, but they don’t exist. Still, I need to try. Love, I see it now—what I’ve been too blind to see all along. I’ve always thought of myself as brave, fearless even. But when it came to you, I was a coward. I didn’t want to risk losing you. You, who have been the brightest part of my life since the moment we met. You, who’ve filled every corner of my world with warmth and light, even when we were miles apart. Every summer, when you stepped into my life again, it was like the sun breaking through a storm. You’d sit by the lake with that book you never quite finished because I was always distracting you. You’d laugh at my terrible jokes, your nose crinkling just so. And you’d hum when you thought no one was listening, always off-key but somehow more perfect than any melody I’ve ever heard. I thought I was looking for the kind of love my parents have — their unshakable bond, the way they look at each other like the world begins and ends with them. And all this time, it was right here, under my nose. You were under my nose. I think I was afraid, love. Afraid that if I let myself feel what’s always been there, I’d ruin us. That I’d lose the only person who’s ever truly known me, the only one who can look past the pranks, the bravado, and see me—the real me. But Sirius, being Sirius, knocked some sense into me. He said I’ve been acting like a fool, and for once, he’s right. Rereading our letters with him was like seeing my life laid out before me, and every line, every word pointed to you. Even when you were far away, you were my everything. The letters you sent were more than ink on parchment; they were lifelines. When Hogwarts felt too big, too chaotic, you were the quiet in the storm. When I felt lost, you reminded me who I am. Do you know how many times I reread your words, just to feel close to you? I kept your letters in my trunk, hidden from the others like a secret treasure. Because that’s what you’ve always been — my treasure. How could I have been so blind? How could I have wasted so much time thinking it was Lily I wanted when it’s always been you? I’ve spent so long chasing a dream when the real thing was right in front of me. I see it now, clearer than I’ve ever seen anything. You are my stars, my moon, my sun. You’re the laugh that makes everything brighter, the voice that feels like home.
I love you. I love the way your handwriting gets messier when you’re excited. I love the way you argue with me over the silliest things just to see me smile. I love the way you hum when you’re nervous and how you always know exactly what to say to pull me out of my worst days. I love you. I don’t know if you feel the same way, but I hope with everything in me that you do. And if you don’t, I’ll understand. Because having you in my life, even just as my friend, has been the greatest gift I could ever ask for. But if there’s even the smallest chance you might love me too, then I promise to spend the rest of my life proving I deserve you. Merry Christmas, my love. You’ve been my greatest gift every day since I met you. Forever yours, Jamie
thankx for reading <3
god, this is my biggest work and I was so afraid to publish it, cause it seems to me that no one reads such long fics (I myself adore long fics).
and if you've finished reading this, thank u and I love you so much! I hope you enjoyed every part of it and I will be very glad if you leave a comment, because it seems to me that I have left all of myself in this work!
you can always share your opinion in comments or my inbox. btw my requests are open so… make a wish :3
– your santi 🪐
masterlist
#– santi 🪐#james potter fluff#james potter fic#james potter x reader#james potter#james potter x you#james potter imagine#james potter x y/n#james potter fanfiction#bsf!james potter#james potter x fem!reader
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There's something so wondrously momentous about Style only saying his "I love you" now, when he realises that all the secrets he was keeping from Fadel are already laid bare.
He says this a significant time after Fadel has said his (and, in the context of the wider narrative, after Kant and Bison) and for the character we have seen as prone to glibness, exaggeration and flippancy with his words, that feels incredibly intentional.
Because this confession was the only truth Style had left to give.
Fadel is finally done playing his (poorly thought out) game, done with his (already cracking at the seams) charade, done with giving Style more opportunities to pull at his heartstrings with his earnestness lies.
Fadel is demanding the truth, and tells Style exactly what truth he wants to hear.
And the thing is, there is truth in this: Style's motivations at the start were wrapped up in a deception specifically targeting Fadel.
I know we, as a fandom, harp on about Style "doing all that for a car", but something I would like us all to revisit is what Kant actually says to Style when he first asks Style to "hit on" Fadel:
Kant: You need to help me. You know I don't usually feel this way about someone. And then shortly later, after Style refuses: Kant: Hey, hold on. (Kant grabs Style's hand.) What do I have to do to for you to help me out? Should I pay you?
(Please forgive my inability to gif and watch Style's reaction to this.) Style is visibly surprised and intrigued. Kant seems to be serious about this request, and I think Style decides to test just how important it is to Kant by asking for the one thing he knows Kant will not give up.
Just look the expressions on Style's face. We didn't have the context of knowing Style back then as well as we do now, but this is the look Style gets when he's throwing out a challenge (to Fadel), when he's trying to ferret out some new insight (from Fadel), when he wants to see how someone (Fadel) will react to whatever outlandish (provocative) thing he's said or done.
And when Kant agrees, Style even checks again if Kant is serious about going through with it -- and it's this that convinces Style of the sincerity of Kant's request.
Yes, the car was a factor, and yes Style also wanted revenge and to humble Fadel, but at the centre of Style's motivation has always been a plea for help from a friend.
In episode 1: Kant: Under one condition. You have to make him head over heels in love with you. Style: I'll do it. Not just for the car, but someone like him needs to be humbled by someone like me.
But in agreeing to help Kant, Style really was damning Fadel to play the fool because Fadel's feelings (his heart) was a commodity that Style was fully willing to play with back then.
And there are aspects of truth here too. When Kant tells Style about Fadel (and Bison) being hitmen, Style decides he's done and wants out. Kant reasons that it's more dangerous for Style to break up with Fadel now, because it would look suspicious, but crucially this isn't enough to convince Style.
So Kant, once again, makes the plea to friendship and to his need for Style specifically, and it is this that causes Style to finally cave.
But in doing so, the things that Style agrees to are:
Kant: Work with me. Help me get more information about them. Once we get that, it's done. Captain puts them in jail, and we walk free.
So while Style may not be directly working with the police, he is working with Kant who he knows is working with the police. By proxy, Style is involved with the police, but in front of the empty pool, he makes it clear to Fadel just what that involvement actually entailed:
Style: Kant asked me to take you out so you could leave him alone and he could freely investigate. Fadel: What did he get out of it? Style: I don't know! That ain't my business! All I was asked of is to take you out.
And this, too, actually is true! Since finding out, Style has literally not discovered a single thing that could be remotely useful to the police investigation:
He's found out that Fadel likes to gym at night. He's found out that Fadel uses tenderloin in his burgers. That he runs in the morning before going to the market. That he attends a grief support group.
But these were all things Kant also already knew and could have given the police if it were in any way useful for the investigation.
Even his attempts to get Fadel to confess to his "other job" (something the police also already know) were clearly in service of wanting to save Fadel and/or convince him to give up the life of crime in the hopes that Fadel wouldn't have to be sent away from Style to prison.
But the truths are tangled up in misunderstandings and Fadel's own assumptions now; and also further tainted again by Bison's own hurt over Kant's betrayal. And Fadel literally cannot see -- because his eyes are filled with tears [see: @thisautistic's gifset + my tags] (good grief, Joong, the actor you are) -- the honesty Style is bleeding from the marrow of his bones.
Because the truth is that along the way Style has also found out that Fadel is a good older brother. That Fadel is still hurting and bleeding inside because his parents were murdered. That Fadel wears his favourite bands' make up in secret because he cannot bear the thought of other's judgement. He's found out that Fadel misses Style, wants Style, and hates himself for it. That Fadel is afraid to love. That Fadel is acutely aware of his own darkness and cannot comprehend an existence that would not involve someone (Style) rejecting it. That Fadel does not believe that 100% trust is possible, but that he will get himself drunk so that he can offer Style as much vulnerability as he can physically make himself give.
Because the things that Style did find out were all the ways Fadel's heart is soft and tender and precious and worthy worthy worthy of all the love Style has to give.
And Style will stand firm on this truth because this is the only thing he has left to give Fadel.
Because Fadel knows, now, all the ways Style was unworthy of his trust, but crucially has not figured out the most important truth:
Because in all the ways that Fadel has ever known he should want, Style actually IS worthy of his trust. Style knows the truth Fadel is hiding, knows what this man is capable of, knows the danger of being in his arms, knows the likely nonexistent future Fadel has to offer him -- and wants him anyway. -- Quoted from my meta post on the "One day, I'll be your 100%" line.
And as I alluded to in the tags on @yinwaring's insightful post: Style fully embodies the belief he espouses; because even in the face of a gun to his head and Fadel threatening to kill him if he will not admit that this, too, is a lie, Style refuses to give Fadel anymore dishonesty.
And this is because Style knows that the truth matters; now more than ever.
Because Style has had days to grapple with his worry after Fadel's disappearance. Style has had a week's worth of checking the diner only to face the regret he feels about not handling things differently. Style has had to recognise the terror of thinking he had lost something he never even knew he wanted in the first place.
And while Fadel had his realisation back in episode 4, Style never had to face this until Fadel vanished from his life and left a gaping hole in the shape of the absence of Fadel's smile.
So if this is what it takes, if this is the penance that Fadel demands of him, then it is a price Style is most happy to pay.
Because Fadel does not realise is that Style, too, now knows what it means to lose a love worth fighting for.
And in the war Fadel now feels compelled to wage against Style (because, yes, that's definitely still going on), the one damning thing Fadel has failed to recognised is that his only true weapon was leaving Style behind.
Which is why Style has already won. Not because Fadel's walls have crumpled again or because they don't still have a ton of things to talk through and work out (they really, really do), but because Style has already been stripped bare (and I mean this literally, like we all recognise THAT was the reason why Dunk is only in boxer shorts in that scene, right?? Like, I know we were joking about it, but seriously, that was so very intentional and a visual representation of Style being both stripped and, most importantly, freed from the lies he felt compelled to tell Fadel) and this means he has nothing holding him back.
And Fadel can wield his gun and his words and his anger and his hurt, but Style will die on the hill of the truth that he knew and understood and chose to love Fadel anyway, and saved this last confession for when he knew he could tell Fadel the truth without any lingering deception; and when the time is right, when Fadel is finally ready, Style will be there to welcome him back with open arms and, without any hesitation, an open heart.
#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#thk ep 7#fadelstyle#stylefadel#fadel#style sattawat#thk meta#fadelstyle meta#style sattawat meta#joongdunk#hui talks thk#hui talks thai bl#i know everyone is probably so sick of me saying this but style is so utterly earnest and honest and GUILELESS and i adore him so much#and i know episode 7 was sad in many ways but it left me honestly feeling so TRIUMPHANT because style is finally FREE!!#he's free of the last obligation to the promise he made to kant#he's free from the guilt of lying to fadel and actively doing nothing to protect the man he was learning to care for#he's finally finally free to love fadel; simply and truthfully and earnestly and with his whole entire heart#and it will be like nothing fadel's fragile heart has ever experienced and everything he never knew he could have#and i am SO SO SO fucking EXCITED for that!!!!#// ALSO can we talk about how CLEARLY dunk makes the distinction between when style is being earnest and when he's intentionally#being playful/glib/exaggerating something??#like its so drastically different and idk i really appreciate how obvious it is because when he dials it down it feels very very real#like i don't just mean “quiet” because style is loud when he's explaining himself at gunpoint#but he's very honest in every single moment in this scene#and i feel like that really comes through -- not only because he is scared of the gun fadel is threatening him with#but also because he wants to and moreover has no good reason not to tell the full truth now#because if fadel knows then bison knows and that means kant's gig is up too#so yeah... style is free to finally follow his heart in its entirety and you can actually see that clearly in the pool scene
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The Three of Us: After the Games
pairing: Kang Dae-ho x f!reader
summary: Dae-ho makes good on his promise
word count: 2.8k
warnings: pregnancy, childbirth, babies
A/N: for the sake of the story, they got out after the vote after the Mingle game. i had so much fun writing this, dae-ho is so girl-dad coded. if you find any mistakes no you didn't <3
part 1: The Three of Us
"Do we have everything we need? Am I forgetting something?"
You laugh as you watch the man run around the living room of your apartment. "Dae-ho, I'm not even in labor yet."
"I want to be prepared!"
After you had gotten out of the games, you and Dae-ho were delighted to find out that you lived not far away from each other. You were able to use the money you had gotten from the games to pay off your debts, and Gi-hun had offered to help you pay for everything until the baby is born and you're both able to work again (he didn't know it yet, but he had earned himself the title of godfather for that).
Dae-ho came over to your apartment every day for the past month and a half, making sure everything is ready for when the baby comes and keeping you from exerting yourself too much. You're sure he's spent more time at your apartment than at his.
Dae-ho had helped more than you could possibly thank him for. He and Jung-bae had built the crib for your baby, then broke it by "testing it out", then built a new one (why they thought it was a good idea for a full-grown man to get into a baby's crib, you have no idea).
You use the arm of the couch to help you stand up, waddling over to Dae-ho and taking his hands in yours. "Dae-ho, I don't think it's possible that you're forgetting anything," you chuckle. He opens his mouth to argue but you shush him, pulling him into a hug. "The only thing that matters is that you're with me when this baby comes."
He sighs, hugging you back. "I'm just so worried, I want to make sure everything goes right."
"I know," you rub his back. "But you need to calm down a bit. I think you're more worried about this than I am." You pull back to look at him, raising an eyebrow. "You know I have to push this thing out of me, right?"
He chuckles at the look on your face and pulls you to him, placing a gentle kiss on your lips and cradling you to his chest.
"I just need to make sure I didn't forget-"
"Dae-ho!"
<>
You're sitting on your couch watching TV with Dae-ho when you feel yourself sitting in something wet.
"Oh, for fuck's sake," you curse. This isn't the first time you've pissed yourself while pregnant, and although Dae-ho keeps assuring you that it's perfectly normal (he's seen it happen with his sisters), it doesn't make you feel any less disgusting.
Dae-ho helps you stand up, ready to take you to the bathroom when you stop. He looks to see you staring at the large wet patch on the couch.
"What's wrong?" he asks you.
You slowly look up at him with wide eyes. "I think my water broke."
Dae-ho's eyes grow comically wide. "Holy shit, it's happening."
You nod. "It's happening."
He helps you sit back down on the couch before sprinting into your bedroom. He comes out with your hospital bag slung over his shoulder, fully packed and ready to go. "I'm gonna bring the car around, I'll be right back."
You nod, breathing through another bought of pain that you now realize is a contraction. You had been feeling it for a while now, but just thought it was normal pregnancy pain.
Dae-ho comes bursting back into your apartment, nearly tripping over your rug as he comes over to help you stand.
"Okay, the car is out front, I'm probably parked illegally, so we should hurry," he says, rushing his words.
You try to hide your amused smile. Dae-ho is the perfect distraction from your contractions.
"Dae-ho, lock the door, please," you say when you're in the hallway.
He nods, getting the keys out of his pocket and dropping them on the floor. You chuckle as he yelps, scrambling to pick them up and fit the key in the lock. Once he's done he turns to you. "Stop laughing at me!"
You laugh harder at his expression. "I'm sorry, I can't help it."
His face softens as he hears your laugh, a smile forming on his lips. He pulls you close, planting a kiss on your forehead. "Let's go have this baby."
He leads you to the elevator, holding your hand as you descend to the first floor. Once you step outside you burst out laughing.
"Dae-ho, you're parked on the sidewalk!"
"I was panicking, okay!"
<>
"Dae-ho," you cry, "I don't think I can do this."
He squeezes your hand, not complaining despite the fact that you're nearly breaking his hand from how hard you're holding on to it. "Are you kidding? You flipped that ddakji on your first try with guns pointed at you. You were one of the first to finish red light, green light. You ran in Mingle despite being nearly seven months pregnant. This is nothing compared to all of that."
He brings his other hand up to brush some hair out of your face. "You are the strongest person I know. Just one more big push and it's done. You can do this."
"Dae-ho," you half scream, looking at him. "I love you."
He kisses your hand. "I love you too. So much. Now push."
You do as he says, screaming as you feel pain like you've never felt before. Until it's over, and the only sounds in the room are your panting and the crying of a baby.
"You did it," Dae-ho says in awe as he watches the doctors clean your baby.
"Congratulations," one of the doctors says to you with a smile as she holds your baby. "It's a girl."
She hands you your daughter and you feel yourself start to cry as you look down at the little baby in your arms.
Dae-ho sits on the bed, looking at the baby. "She's so beautiful."
You scootch over a bit in bed to make room for him to lay down next to you. After a long time of laying together in peaceful silence, you look at him with a tired smile. "Thank you for being here."
He smiles at you. "I wouldn't have missed the birth of your child for anything."
You take his hand, guiding it to cradle your daughter's head. "The birth of our child."
Tears form in his eyes as he smiles down at you, kissing your head. "I love you more than anything." He kisses your daughter's head as well. "Both of you."
A knock on the door gets your attention. "Let me in! I want to see the baby!" Jung-bae's voice yells into the room.
You look up at Dae-ho, confused. "She's been alive for like an hour, how is he here already?"
Dae-ho looks down at you a bit sheepishly. "I might have texted him earlier."
Another loud knock on the door is heard. "Let me in, I have balloons!"
<>
You groan as you wake up, a loud, shrill cry ringing throughout your apartment. This is the second time tonight that your daughter has woken up.
With a sigh, you dramatically throw the covers off of you, too tired to care how much of a mess you're making.
A hand holds your shoulder, and you turn your head to see Dae-ho, a yawn coming from him as he stretches his muscles. "I got it, go back to sleep."
You shake your head, a yawn of your own escaping your mouth. "No, you got the last one, it's my turn." You move to stand up, but Dae-ho tightens his grip on your shoulder, effectively keeping you in place.
"You carried her around for nine months and birthed her," Dae-ho says. "I got this."
You give the man next to you a sleepy smile. Normally you'd argue with him that it was only fair that you checked on her, but right now your bed is so comfortable and you haven't had a full night's sleep in months.
You mumble a thank you, falling back onto the bed and pulling the covers over you. Dae-ho laughs to himself when he sees that you've immediately fallen back asleep.
He walks to your daughter's room, picking her up from her crib and bouncing her. "Come one, Munchkin, we gotta let your mommy sleep."
As if she understands him, she quiets down, falling asleep with her head on his shoulder.
<>
"Hello! We're home!" Dae-ho announces as you walk through the door of your new home.
You smile as your daughter rounds the corner, crawling towards you as fast as her little arms and legs will let her go.
"Thank you so much for watching her, Geum-ja," you say to the woman walking behind your daughter, who has taken on the role of unofficial grandmother.
"Thank you for letting me watch her!" the woman smiles. "Yong-sik isn't having children any time soon, so this may be my only chance."
"Mom, stop," the mentioned man steps into view. You laugh as they bicker, Geum-ja lightly hitting her son.
You watch as Dae-ho crouches on the floor, opening his arms wide as your daughter crawls toward him. She takes her hands off the ground and you gasp, getting the attention of Geum-ja and Yong-sik. You watch in amazement as your daughter takes three steps before falling right into your boyfriend's arms.
Dae-ho lifts her up, a giant smile on his face. "That was amazing, Munchkin!"
You rub her back, praising her as Dae-ho kisses her cheek. Geum-ja and Yong-sik have stopped their bickering, both of them clapping for your daughter's accomplishment.
A thought comes into your head and you groan, resting your forehead on Dae-ho's shoulder.
"What?" he asks.
"She's gonna be a little menace now, isn't she?"
Dae-ho laughs, bringing one of his arms around your shoulders and kissing your forehead.
<>
"What is happening here?"
You stand in the doorway with your hands on your hips, a smile on your face.
"We're having a princess tea party," Dae-ho says. He points to the princess dress on your daughter, as well as the princess dress on himself, which is close to tearing in half. "Obviously." He picks up the toy tea kettle, pouring some imaginary tea into your daughter's cup before facing you. "Would you like some?"
This is not what you were expecting to see after work, but you can't think of a better scene to come home to.
"I would love some." You sit on the floor, picking up a teacup and holding it out for Dae-ho to pour "tea" into.
Your daughter holds her cup in front of her as well, looking at the man between you. "Dada!"
Both you and Dae-ho freeze. You watch with a smile as he looks down at your daughter, his entire face lighting up and tears welling in his eyes.
You put a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it happily. You've gotten a few "mama"s from your daughter before, but Dae-ho has never gotten a "dada" until now.
Dae-ho pours more imaginary tea into her cup, leaning down afterwards to give her a kiss on her forehead. "I love you, Munchkin."
<>
"Mama!"
You turn to see your daughter tottling towards you, a big smile on her face.
"Hi sweetie," you smile, crouching down to her height.
She grabs onto your finger, tugging on it to try and get you to follow her. You chuckle, allowing her to lead you out of the room, hunched over so she can still hold your finger.
You follow her to the backyard, furrowing your brows when you see that the back door is open. Stepping outside and closing it behind you, you look forward and freeze.
Your daughter runs over to Dae-ho, who's in the middle of your yard on one knee, a ring in his hand.
You bring your hand up to your mouth in shock, tears welling in your eyes.
"Two and a half years ago, I was in the worst place of my life. But it was when I was there that I met you," Dae-ho smiles. "You've changed my life in so many ways, brought me more happiness than I ever thought I could have. I love you and our Munchkin more than anything in the world. You've given me the family I've always wanted, but I think it's time we become an official family. Will you marry me?"
You nod your head, tears spilling over onto your cheeks.
Dae-ho stands and pulls you into a kiss, slipping the ring on your finger. He pulls back, resting his forehead against yours. "I love you so much. My beautiful fiancée."
You feel a tug on your leg and look down to see your daughter smiling up at you. Dae-ho crouches down, scooping her up into his arms and standing, bringing you into a hug. "How would you like to be the flower girl, Munchkin?"
<>
"You see, I told you she'd be happy to see you! You need to have more faith in yourself, Gi-hun," you say into the phone as you unlock your front door. The man had arrived in America the previous day, finally visiting his daughter after so many years.
You step inside your house, locking the door behind you and putting your keys on one of the hooks on the wall. As you enter the living room, you stop when you see what is happening on your couch.
"Gi-hun, I have to go, I'll call you later," you smile, hanging up the phone. You open your camera app, taking a picture of the perfect scene in front of you. The TV is turned on to one of your daughter's favorite movies. Your daughter, however, is passed out on the chest your husband, who is also fast asleep.
After you've taken a sufficient amount of photos, you gently shake Dae-ho awake. He blinks his eyes open, smiling tiredly when he sees you.
"Hi, beautiful," he says.
You chuckle at the sleep in his voice. "Hi. I see you had quite a tiring day today."
Dae-ho nods, rubbing his eyes awake. "We played pirates in the backyard, then we had a movie marathon. It was a very eventful day."
You smile, putting your hand on your daughter's back to lightly shake her awake.
She looks at you with a smile. "Hi mommy."
"Hi, sweetie. It's time to go to bed."
She frowns. "Can I sleep with you and daddy tonight?"
You roll your eyes playfully. "But sweetie, you just got your new big girl bed. Don't you want to sleep there?"
She shakes her head. "I want to stay with you and daddy."
You look at Dae-ho, chuckling when you see that he's also silently begging you to let her stay with you.
"Fine, but just for tonight," you give in, making both your daughter and your husband smile. You pick her up, sitting her on your hip. "It's not fair when you team up against me, you're both too cute."
Dae-ho stands from the couch, kissing the side of your head. "Now you know what it's like trying to argue with you."
<>
You hand your daughter the stick in your hand with a smile. "Go bring this to daddy."
With a nod, she runs off to find Dae-ho. You follow behind her, peeking your head around the corner when she goes into the kitchen where your husband is making dinner.
"Daddy!" she yells and you can hear the smile in her voice.
Dae-ho turns to face the young girl, a big smile on his face. "Hey, Munchkin." He scoops her into his arms, placing a kiss on her cheek.
Your daughter holds the stick out for Dae-ho. "For you, daddy."
You watch as he thanks her and looks at the stick. You feel your smile grow as he realizes what his daughter just handed him. He looks up, noticing you by the door.
"Is this real?"
"As real as it can possibly be," you say.
He sits your daughter down onto the counter, rushing over to pick you up in his arms, making you laugh. He twirls you around before putting you down and kissing you with all the love he feels in this moment.
"I love you so much," he says, his forehead against yours. He looks over to your daughter on the counter. "I love both of you." He then looks back down at you, gently putting his hand over your stomach. "All of you."
~
Dae-ho tags: @whatthefuckeryfuckityfuck @ally1uvsu @thebiggestigurosimp @come-as-you-are-111 @hiphip-horray @k1michii @tpwkcaryslizb @louissst28 @sshwaa @jennwonwoo @sunnysurvives @lalalaa2210 @tayshs @sunshinethatlooksalive @plntmxrss @lxnnrobin @mariaxman @alexx-iia @batty-barty-crouchjr @kxsm3t @takuma-talkz @peacemakersbeloved @skywalker0809 @soobinbunnie5 @dragons-h0ard @silas-222 @putrescentpoet
lmk if you want to be added to the taglist (specify all squid game or just dae-ho pls)
#squid game#squid game 2#player 388#squid game season 2#dae ho#dae-ho#kang dae ho#dae ho x reader#kang daeho#squid game fanfic#squid game 2 spoilers#squid game x reader#kang daeho x reader#x reader
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WE WILL SURVIVE
- - CHAPTER 6 - -
Ghost x reader Description: Ghost searches for Reader after their argument. Genre/Warnings: zombie apocalypse AU, Ghost x fem!reader, survivor!reader, angst, POV change, filler chapter WC: 1k
My Masterlist
** Oh? What is this you ask? Could it finally be?? a new chapter?! Yes. Yes, it is. Finally, I got Chapter 6 complete! Still iffy about how this one turned out but I NEEDED a Ghost POV chapter so bad. Please forgive my hiatus I actually had a chapter almost done when I came up with this one and I've been working on 6, 7, and 8 for some time... Just completely out of order and flopping between the three... So, anyway here is this, next one might be short as well but 8 will be HECTIC and looong so hopefully it makes it up to y'all. Also, yay!!(or not?) Ghost is back!! Teehee. Enjoy. (BTW My taglist somehow ended up a whole mess. So, if you are on there by mistake OR missing, please let me know thanks.) If you'd like to be added/removed from the taglist please, let me know.
<< PART 1 / << PART 5
*GHOST POV*
“Bloody hell.”
Ghost murmurs under his breath, standing in the middle of the empty master bedroom he’d left you in just a short while ago.
She couldn’t have stuck around a few more bloody minutes?
He thought to himself. He dragged a hand down the rough material of his mask. You as well as your things had vanished.
It's been less than an hour since I left her behind. She couldn't have gotten far.
Ghost searched the neighboring houses for you. His heavy boots flattened the unkempt grass.
Clearly, she didn’t need me if she took off so soon.
When he'd left, he had some time to reflect on your argument and how he’d stormed out. Thinking that maybe he had been a bit harsh. Which is what led him to turn around, backtracking to the house you’d been searching together. But now you were gone.
Why am I wasting my time? Not like she’s my responsibility. Besides, she can survive on her own. If she doesn’t… that’s not my problem.
Ghost knew the cost of caring for people, he didn't need attachments. Not anymore. He made that mistake before and wasn't going to shoulder that burden again.
He continued back into town, the mantra repeating in his mind, hoping to squash the guilt that pooled in his gut.
It’s fine. It’s fine… She’s fine.
The sun had set by the time Ghost reached the roof of a shopping center. He’d swept the shops clearing each corner before laying out all his gear to repack, minimizing the load and ensuring he only had necessities.
As he finished organizing his supplies Ghost took a much-needed smoke break.
The stale cigarette burned his lungs as he inhaled the smoke, leaning on his elbows over the ledge of the building.
The night was quiet. Trees rustled softly in the wind. The swirling smoke dispersed quickly as he blew it out into the night. The metallic tang lingered on his tongue.
For a moment he had no thoughts on his mind, successfully ignoring the gnawing guilt he’d been feeling all evening.
Until a distant car alarm caught his attention. It was faint, almost inaudible. Ghost chopped it up to one of the infected bumping a car on the freeway.
But then, a gunshot shattered the silence. Echoing across the empty streets.
“What the…”
He muttered, His scowl deepening as he scanned the dark road below. The night consumed the sky, leaving no light save for the cherry end of the cig burning away between his fingers.
Can’t be her. She only has a pistol—it wouldn’t sound like that.
He took another drag, forcing away the thought.
The second shot came quickly. Then a third.
The gnawing guilt crept back in stronger than before.
What if it is her? What if she’s in trouble?
He paused listening for another shot, but it never came. Finally, as the faint sound of the car alarm ceased, the worry poking at the back of his mind became too much.
“Damnit.”
He grumbles. He flicks the cigarette butt on the ground and snuffs it out with the toe of his boot. He pushed off the ledge Before gathering his things, abandoning his plans to camp there for the night, and headed towards the road again to investigate the shots.
Ghost is on the freeway when he spots you, perched on top of a truck, legs tucked under you, looking bored.
Immediately the tightness in his chest is replaced by relief and His grip on his bag loosens. Though he’d never admit it he was relieved to see you alive.
Your features were illuminated by a faint light as he looked you over. To his surprise, you seemed lighter somehow, not anxious or scared like he’d expected… as you had been before.
At least now he could follow through on his plan. Bring you through the city, get some supplies, find a safe place for you to settle in, and he’d be on his way.
He took a few more steps forward and opened his mouth to call your name but, froze when the figure of a man appeared beside you. Hands on his hips in a casual manner.
Ghost sunk low behind a nearby car taking cover in the darkness. His knees brushed the cracked asphalt.
His relief changed to irritation as he watched your interaction. You slid down off the roof of the truck and the man’s hand found its way to your back in a comforting gesture of familiarity.
The man turned, closed the door, and rounded to the back end of the truck. When he pulled himself to sit on the tailgate, that’s when Ghost got a glimpse of the man’s face.
“Graves.”
He growled. The name fell from his lips like a curse. It had been what felt like ages since he’d seen him. Ghost was in disbelief; he hadn't expected Graves to still be alive let alone have stuck around here.
Ghost couldn’t deny his anger; he’d lost daylight searching for you. He’d come all the way out here, in the dark, following gunshots because he was worried about you.
You were the problem.
He was losing his head because of you. Helping you on that road made you an obligation. You begged and cried, pleading with him to stick together, And for what?
He was torn with what to do now. On one hand, it bothered him, you being with Graves. But, at the same time, you were no longer his to care for. Although he didn’t exactly trust him, Graves was a capable man, and you’d have better odds sticking with him than going it alone.
And Ghost is too prideful to come crawling back with an apology, groveling at your feet to come back with him. Why drag you along with him when obviously you were more comfortable with Graves? As far as he was concerned you had gotten exactly what you wanted.
He watched for a few more moments. The wind carried the sounds of your light-hearted chatter.
What was it about Graves that left you in such a relaxed state? How did you not feel this safe with him? Ghost was always about caution and precision, but here Graves was hardly paying attention to your surroundings, and you seemed fine with it.
As you and Graves settled into the bed of the truck, likely to camp out for the night, Ghost sighed. You didn’t need him anymore, and he no longer needed to feel guilty.
Now, he too had what he wanted… He was alone.
PART 7 >>
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Because I had a dead car battery and had to change it yesterday, here is a fanfic based off the experience with Jason Todd!
Patrolling Gotham during a winter night wasn't something that Jason enjoyed to say the least. The only thing that made it bearable was getting to return to his warm bed in the apartment that he share with you.
Most days, he would be able to give you a quick peck on the cheek as you got ready for your early shift at work while be prepared to get a few hours of sleep. More often than not waking up to him cuddling your pillow.
This morning as he opened his eyes, he was greeted with you nestled in his hold. He blinked away the last bit of sleep in his eyes before opening his mouth. "Shouldn't you be at work by now?"
"My car wouldn't start," you informed him as you gently ran your hand up and down his arm. "And you looked so peaceful when I came back in, so I just called in for the day. I figured we could give it a jump start when you got a few hours of sleep."
Jason felt a grin tugging on the corners of his mouth. You were always so considerate of his basic needs and took the pressure of balancing both of his lives.
With one last deep breath, Jason pushed himself up and got out of bed. "Alright, let's get some warm clothes on and take care of your car."
Once the both of you were dressed in winter clothes and a pair of gloves, you both went to your car and began getting the jumper cables ready as Jason opened the hood.
After getting the cables grounded to the battery correctly, Jason spoke in a calm tone, "Okay, try turning it on."
The engine came to life for a few seconds before the shutting off. The second time you tried, it stayed on by itself. Jason removed the cables before going to the drivers side to look at you through the window.
"Okay, let it run for a couple minutes. Then we'll shut it off and make sure it can start up on its own."
Once the few minutes had passed, you shut the car off and tried again, only to be met the the telltale clicking of a dead battery.
Jason gave a huff before speaking in a calm voice, "Looks like you're getting a new battery. Pop the trunk so I can grab my tools and get it out of there and we can get this adventure started."
It took about 5 minutes for Jason to get the battery removed. After making sure the hood of your car was latched securely, the two of you began the journey to the auto shop a couple of blocks away.
Luckily, the sidewalks weren't too slick on the way there, something Jason was grateful for so he didn't have to worry about either of you falling on your face.
Once in the store, Jason went to the counter and began talking to the employee and checking to see if the type of battery your car needed was in stock. Which, luckily, it was because they just got a truck in the day before with the exact kind you needed.
After the cashier began ringing it up, you tried getting out one of your cards before Jason stopped you. "I got this, baby. Don't worry about it, okay?"
"Jason, it's for my car. I should cover be paying for it, not you. You've already done more than enough."
"Then it's a good thing I'm not technically paying for it." He smirked before inserting the card into the chip reader.
"Jason," you say with a tone akin to Alfred's when he's warning anyone to not mess with his cleaning of the manor, "did you steal Bruces' credit card again?"
"I didn't steal it," he defended himself while looking at you. "He gave it to be for a legitimate reason. We both just forgot that I didn't give it back to him."
"Jason, paying for this with his card without his knowledge is technically illegal!" You scold him with a look that Jason knew you were going to make him give back the card tonight.
"As long as it gets paid for, that's all that matters," the employee chimed in with a indifferent shrug. "I don't make enough money to really care about those technicalities."
With a small triumphant grin, Jason ushered you out of the store to begin the walk back to the apartment. But there was a stop at a diner on the way so you could buy lunch to say 'thank you'.
Jason took the keys from you so you could go inside and warm up while he put the new battery in. Once it was secured, he got in the car and turned the ignition. A small chuckle bubbling in his throat when it turned on with no issue.
When he got into your shared apartment, Jason was greeted with the sight of you setting up the take out at the table and putting a cup of hot chocolate in front of his spot.
"Oh, what did I do to deserve this?" He asked while placing a soft kiss on your forehead as you both sat down.
You smile while beginning to dig in. "Just wanted to appreciate you for being such a great boyfriend."
He smiled while taking a small sip of his drink before deciding to inquire, "You already messaged Bruce that I had his card?"
"Oh yeah," you said without hesitation. "I'll make it up to you with cuddles once we're done eating."
Jason gave a laugh while shaking his head as he continued eating. If this is what he got to come home to every day, he could deal with patrolling Gotham during the winter.
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Sinner
“Deliver me from evil, for I have sinned.”
Warnings: Dom!Chris, choking, intellectual humiliation, (stupid, dummy, etc), EXTREME power dynamic, sthenolangia, submissive!y/n. Chris is a meanie :( in this. Lmk if I forgot anything!!
Synopsis: Chris can only take so much before he snaps. A typical tirade ends up being far more than what you bargained for…
Word count: 2k
🖤❤️🔪❤️🖤
We’ve all heard the saying, ‘deliver me from evil for I have indeed sinned.’ Even if you aren’t religious, it’s used in media like movies and TV shows left and right. We’ve all been exposed to the mantra, over and over again. However, not many of us take into account what this can truly mean.
If you ask a random passerby, it means could mean you’ve done wrong, and you seek forgiveness from the Lord. And you seek forgiveness from Him in order to make it to those pearly gates in the afterlife.If you ask the right person, you could get the answer you so seek… Just depends on who you ask, and what situation you may be in when you say such a thing. And, well depending on the day, Chris can offer you so much more than just a simple response. His reply may even equate whatever God could offer…
You stand in the kitchen, stirring a bowl of cake batter as you rant and rave about your day and how much you wished he would’ve gone with you to the local farmers market so you didn’t have to go alone. Nothing out of the ordinary, a typical, little gripe. In reality, you knew he had to work. But it still made you feel better airing out your complaints so they didn’t pile up and really cause problems. You know better than to complain about such trivial matters, because in reality, they don’t really matter. You don’t mind going to the market alone, less stares that way. You feel normal again, not like you’re dating some insanely rich, hot K-pop superstar.
Even though you knew it didn’t really matter, you still prattled on. Talking about how convenient it would’ve been and how much more fresh fruit and veggies you could have gotten if he were there to help carry your basket. You weren’t as strong as him, you argued, causing him to scoff. You roll your eyes at the lack of reply, wishing he’d say something. Anything. But he didn’t seem like he was even listening.
But Chris was listening, oh was he listening. Chris was rubbing the strong muscles of his shoulders, digging his fingertips into his skin, harder and harder, the more you complained. Every time you said, “If you were only there,” or, “if you had been there,” he dug his nails into is skin. By now, he was leaving trails of red along where hes’ been obsessively rubbing for the last 30 minutes. He’s heard a lot of complaining lately and he’s about to hit his limit.
“…and this weird guy kept asking me if I needed help bringing my stuff to the car.” You babbled on and as you open your mouth to say something more, Chris’s hand slams down on the counter. You jump out of your skin, holding a hand over your heart as it jumps to a faster pace. You look at him, shocked by his reaction. Had you hit a nerve? Perhaps, but he’s never reacted that way before, it’s not uncommon for people to ask if you need a hand, that’s just the kindness of locals. But today, maybe mentioning that guy wasn’t such a idea.
He doesn’t look at you as you watch him rise from his stool and you watch with bated breath as slowly walks toward you. You don’t realize it, but you’re holding air in your lungs until he’s standing right in front of you.
Chris grabs you by the chin, digging his nails into your skin so hard that you think he may break skin. You hiss, wincing as he yanks you closer to him, watching as he bares his teeth at you. Snapping them shut, he sucks air through his pearly whites, a warning.
He’s not playing- he’s serious.
The laughing and humor gone now, all that lingers in the air is a stuffy, hot feeling. Almost as if he was suffocating you by merely being close to you. You swallow hard, if he didn’t have his large hand around your jaw, it would be parted in shock.
“Shut.” His voice was low, sending a chill shooting down your spine, “up.” The last word was like venom on his tongue, the way he spat it in your face made it seem like he wanted it out of his mouth. Your heart slams against your ribs, fear making your hairs stand on end as his nails bite into your skin harder.
He walks you back until you’re pressed against the counter top, and the familiar sensation of cold sweat starts to cause beads along your forehead. The menacing look in his dark eyes never leaves as he stares holes into your soul. He leans in, his warm, minty breath spreading across your ear and neck as he speaks, “if I hear another fucking word come out of your mouth, I’ll shut it for you.”
You can’t fight the whimper that escapes and you quite literally feel him tense. He becomes a marble statue right in front of you as you feel another stab of adrenaline course through your heating body. You feel like an eternity passes before he pulls away, pure ice in his stare. He pulls you forward so that his nose is millimeters away from yours, and you feel the warning- the malice that radiates off his body, warming yours.
Fuck- this shouldn’t turn you on but it does. And he knows it.
After a few beats, he squeezes your jaw hard. Not hard enough to actually hurt you, but hard enough to get his point across before letting go. With one hand, he reaches for the hem of the baggy shirt you’re wearing and tugs it up and over your head. His dark eyes never leave your face as he pulls his own shirt over his head, tossing it somewhere near yours.
You can’t think, let alone breathe as he picks you up with ease and places you on the counter, and wraps his forearms around your thighs, dragging you toward the edge as he kneels down on the ground. “Lift your ass- take off these shorts.” He ordered. There were no niceties- no kindness in his tone. His demand was final, and one to not take lightly. You do as he says without hesitation and lift your hips, sliding your shorts down to reveal no panties underneath. Your stopped by his arms, and he finishes the job by yanking them off your dangling legs. “You are to stay upright. If you lean back, you’re done.” You feebly nod, but when he doesn’t move, you open your dry mouth. “Ok.”
He narrows his dark eyes, and you fix your mistake. “Yes, sir.” You squeak. Satisfied with your reply, he pushes your thighs apart. You bite your lip and you do your best to abide by his demands as he devours your core like a man starved. Leaving absolutely no part of of you untouched. You can’t help but want more, what he’s giving you is only for him. For his satisfaction, and not yours. When you realize this, you immediately get angry. “Chris-” You plead, trying to escape his hold. Your wiggling only causes his arms to clamp down on your upper thighs, a low growl emitting from between your legs. “Knock it off.” He warned, not looking at you. He pauses long enough for you to quit squirming before continuing.
“Chris- not fair!” You gasp as he nips your sensitive clit. “I don’t care if you don’t think it’s fair.” He snaps. Anger and malice drip from his every word, “You’ll sit there and take what I give you until I’m done. Understood?” You feebly nod, causing him to pinch your thigh, making you squeal. “Yes, sir!” You cry out, grabbing ahold of the edges of the countertop as he continues his assault on your pussy.
You’d lost count of the amount of times you’ve came, tears are rolling down your cheeks and even trying to push Chris’s head away didn’t stop the pure force of nature he is. When Chris wants something, he gets it. He pulls away, slowly rising to his feet. Finally, you think, slumping back against the counter, completely exhausted. Your eyes trail up his toned torso, along the lines of your ecstasy covering his chest, neck and lower face. You watch as he slowly leans over and grabs a towel for himself, wiping away your juices before he pushes down his gym shorts.
You lean up slightly to watch as he runs his right hand along his hardened cock, groaning with satisfaction as he tugs. You practically watch the shiver run down his spine. His dark eyes trail up you flushed body to your chest, watching it rise and fall rapidly with each breath you take. He reaches up and tugs the wiring down of your bra, causing your breasts to bounce out of the fabric. Chris reaches up, taking your left nipple between his thumb and forefinger, pinching it until you cry out, arching off the countertop and into his hand. He chuckles darkly, stopping and giving your left breast a hard smack before doing the same to your right side. Once he’s satisfied with how red your now swollen breasts are, he stops rubbing himself off and lines up with your entrance. “Chris-” You begin to beg, new hot tears forming along your eyes.
He bares his teeth at you, causing you to stop talking. “The only noise I want coming out of that mouth, is your pretty little cries.” He hisses. “Anything else, and things will only get worse for you, stupid baby.” Your bottom lip trembles, and a wicked smile is plastered on his face as he shoves himself into you, causing a loud moan to escape your throat.
You were oversenstive, cumming as much as you did did nothing but make you raw, sore even. But somehow, you managed to get wet enough to take his dick, making him moan into your red chest.
He digs his nails into your hips, pulling you off the counter just enough so he could guide your ass how he wanted. You held onto the counter for dearlife, but knew better- Chris would never drop you. Intentionally or otherwise. He never had. But still, the gesture was instinctual.
Chris pounds into your core, heat rising through your body like a wildfire- threatening to burn everything in it’s wake no matter the consequences. You moan loudly, head lulling between your shoulder blades as he picks up his god-like speed until your babbling, begging him to let you cum one more time. He moans, laughing at you.
“You think I’ll let you cum? You’re stupider than I thought. It’s my turn. Be grateful for the times you did.” He growls, pounding into you harder than before. But you can’t help begging, it was just natural at this point. Especially when he fucked you like he hated you. His thrusts began to get erratic, groans coming out in broken pants as he started to cum. You watch as the man before you crumbles, shattering as he throws his head back in ecstasy before slamming into you one last time.
You remain like that for a short while, panting and chests heaving before he looks down at you. He slowly, carefully, pulls out and helps you stand to your feet. He snorts, watching as your legs shake and nearly give out. “Poor baby. Did I go too hard?” When you toss him a glare, he laughs. “Too much gym time? Awe, guess I should go a little easier next time, hmm?” Chris kisses the top of your head before sweeping you into his arms. “Maybe not. I do quite like being able to sweep you off your feet.” He winks, causing you to roll your eyes.
“I want to feel bad for being so mean, but,” he shrugged, “you deserved it.” You glower but can’t help but to like it. Chris may be a meanie sometimes when fucking, but you’d both be liars if you said that neither of you didn’t like it.
©️straykids-97
Sorry if this is garbage heh. I haven't written in months, so trying to dip my toes back into it. Please, lmk what you think of it!!
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Good Cop, Bad Cop IV
Masterlist
Part 1 Part2 Part 3
Yandere Tom Ludlow x Reader
Warning: Talks of crime, power imbalance, implied brutal crimes
Written in a brain rot rush so, unedited. GIF is not mine, credit to the owner.
Unedited.
You sigh looking at the text message.
How many times do they need your statement recorded? How many stupid forms are you to fill? Nobody likes to hang out in the police station after work.
You just had to go into that shop of all the other twinkling shops.
It's the fifth time this month that you have received the text. Officer Thomas Ludlow seems like a thorough man. Maybe this time, you can request him to speed things up.
—---
Easier said than done.
“What do you mean by ‘speed things up’?” Officer Ludlow crosses his arms in front of his chest, and you can’t help but notice that they are thick. He is a tall, brooding man as far as you can tell.
“I mean, is there a way that I don’t have to come here every other day?” You keep your voice steady under his glare.
“Do you realise that you could have been a prime suspect in this case, Miss…”
Oh, come on, he still doesn’t know your name after so long?
“(Y/N) (L/N)”
“Miss (L/N)” He repeats.
“Sir I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. You have my records.”
“An unfortunate coincidence, sure. But had it been a rookie, they would have handcuffed you for being there.”
Your gaze drops for a moment, the scenario itself makes you feel uneasy.
“I am grateful to you. You believed me.”
“I believed my instincts. But the law needs physical evidence. So do yourself a favour and do not miss a single day. You want to speed things up? Why not waste more time and fill out the form? Write details about your day. Here.”
He takes a form and gestures to the seat at an arm’s length away. It has become your usual place. This time, you do not argue.
This time, it takes you much longer. By the end of it, you are exhausted and you know you are going to reach home late.
“Wait.” Officer Ludlow speaks up once you are ready to leave.
Now what?
“It’s late and the number of times you have visited the police station, I’m afraid it might have caught the attention of actual culprits. It’s getting late, I will drop you home.”
“Uh, you don't need to, it’s not that late.” You are surprised by his generous offer. He is clearly busy, he does not need to take this responsibility.
“How long have you been in LA, again?” He questions, assessing you in a quick glance before fishing out his car keys.
“Four months.”
He responds with a faint smile that seems partly a scoff and partly condescending.
“Here’s a thing about LA, it is not a safe playground. It is no playground at all, it is a six-way road with speeding trucks that will not even stop after hitting you. It is not a safe place to be, especially if you are involved in a police trap laid out to catch dangerous criminals.”
You watch, absorbing his words. When you don’t move, he turns around “I don’t have all day.”
That gets you going.
****
#yandere tom ludlow#tom ludlow#street kings#yandere cop#yandere male#keanuverse#tom ludlow x reader#yandere tom ludlow xreader
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The Sun’s in My Heart, and I’m Ready for Love
Date night, a sudden rain storm, and a cuddle pile on the couch. It's just a typical night in the Hotchner household.
A one shot in my series of unrelated kissing prompts. Prompt: kissing in the rain
-x-
Hi friends,
This is very soft, and sweet, and feels right for a Friday night <3
Hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think <3
-x-
Warnings: None
Words: 2.6k
Read over on Ao3, or below the cut
There were times when Emily found herself wishing that she and Aaron experienced their relationship in the same way, that he hadn’t done all of this before with someone else. She would wish they’d met when they were young, when he worked with her mother and she was looking for something to do whilst she was trying to figure out what she wanted to do.
The moments were always fleeting. They would flare in her chest when they’d been planning their wedding or when she was pregnant with Violet and then Lucas. Well meaning comments from a doctor who would say ‘dad knows what he’s doing’ when he would point out Violet’s features on the ultrasound screen, or from their friends who would joke about Aaron’s first wedding, that would make her ache briefly, sadness that was too complicated to explain rolling in her gut.
Most of the time, she loved it. She loved their family and their marriage, and how they never took neither for granted because of all they’d survived to make it here. She knew if their life had been different they wouldn’t be here now. Violet and Lucas may not exist, and Jack certainly wouldn’t, and the thought of that alone would make her nauseous.
Sometimes she’d feel guilty for how grateful she was that she was Aaron’s second wife, that she benefited from what he’d learnt from his relationship with Haley. He was determined to do it right this time, to make sure he didn’t repeat the mistakes of his past. His enduring love for Haley very much part of his love for Emily, the glue he used to fix the cracks in his heart before he’d allowed himself to think he deserved all of this again.
Date night was his idea. He’d floated it past her when she was heavily pregnant with Violet, her back and boobs and just about everything aching as she furrowed her brow at him and reminded him they were already married, that he didn’t need to try and woo her anymore. He’d simply smiled and kissed her, and said he would never stop trying to woo her, and suggest they did date night once a month. A few hours where they could just be them, not Mom and Dad, and celebrate and acknowledge their love for each other - the very thing that was the bedrock of their family. It had continued on since then, through the hard and long, but fleeting, early months of Violet’s life and then throughout Emily’s pregnancy with Lucas and his early life too. Now they were almost five years on from Aaron’s initial suggestion and they’d never missed a date night. There were times when they had to re-arrange, if she got a call about a case and had to leave him and the kids behind, but they never cancelled. Never said there’s always next month, because they knew there may not be, that life was unpredictable and hard, and they never wanted to take it or each other for granted.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?”
She smiles as she turns to look at him and she squeezes his hand before she looks ahead again, sighing contentedly as she looks down the National Mall, enjoying the view she’d once had in an apartment she’d called home. They’d gone for dinner at their favourite restaurant, and instead of getting straight in their car to go home, they’d decided to go for a short walk. It was almost dark, the sky thick with grey clouds, and the chill in the early fall air made them walk as closely to each other as they could, both of their hands stuffed into the pocket of his coat.
“I’m more than okay,” she says, leaning in to kiss his cheek, “How much sugar do you think Pen will have given the kids?”
He laughs and runs his thumb over the heel of her hand, “More than we’d usually allow in a year I’m guessing. She always says she can’t say no to them.”
She hums and knocks her shoulder against his, “They are very persuasive.”
“I wonder where they get that from,” he says, his smile soft and full of love, his shoulders relaxed in a way they only ever were around her and the kids. He’d retired when Violet was born, once again keen to undo what he considered the wrongs of his past, and she could see the difference it had made in him. He was happy and relaxed in a way he’d earned, and every day she wondered if she should join him too. She didn’t need to work, not for the money, but she wasn’t ready to step away quite yet and she was grateful she was loved by a man who understood not just her but the job they’d once shared.
She chuckles and playfully shrugs, “It’s a mystery.” She stops them, her free hand reaching for his as she shifts closer to him, leaning in to stamp a kiss against his lips, “Thanks for dinner.”
He tugs her backwards, makes sure they aren’t in the way of the other people walking the path and he pulls her closer, making a point of kissing her before he rests his forehead against hers, “You paid.”
She shrugs and kisses his cheek and then the corner of his lips, “I used the card for our joint account if that makes you feel better.”
He smiles, and she cups his cheek, pressing her thumb against his dimple as she tugs him in for a kiss. They lose themselves in it, allowing themselves to simply be a married couple exchanging a kiss they’d shared a thousand times. She licks along the seam of his lips and sighs as he deepens the kiss, the taste of the dessert they’d shared still lingering on his tongue.
They are both so lost in each other, so wrapped up around each other, that neither one of them hears the crack of thunder above their heads. She pulls back when she feels rain drop onto her head and she looks at him, her eyebrows furrowed.
“Was it supposed to rai-”
She’s cut off as the heavens open and rain pours on them, drawing surprised laughs from them both as Aaron tightens his hand around hers as they half-run back in the direction they’d come from.
“Come on, otherwise we’ll get soaked,” he says, making sure they keep pace with each other, both of them slowed down a little by the heels she’d worn and the wet floor.
“I think that ship has sailed, honey,” she shouts over the roar of the rain, unable to stop herself from laughing, the strange, simple, joy of it outweighing the feeling of her hair sticking to her neck. She stops, her hand pulling at his as he turns to look at her, his brow furrowed, and she pulls him into a kiss, their lips almost slipping past each other as they taste the rain on each other's skin.
“Em,” he chuckles as he pulls back, “We need to go, we’ll get sick.”
“I know,” she replies, her fingers slipping against his skin as he grabs his chin to hold him in place for one last second and she leans in to kiss him, “I just wanted to kiss you in the rain.”
He smiles at her, the same smile he’d passed on to all of their children, and he quickly stamps his lips against hers, “Let’s go home, sweetheart.”
___
He puts the heat on full blast in the car, his smile soft as he sees Emily place her hands right over the vents to try and warm up her fingers.
Penelope frowns at them as they step into the house, her head tilted to the side as they close the door behind them, a shiver running through them as the warmth of their home contrasts with the chill of their wet clothes stuck against their skin.
“Did you swim home?”
Emily chuckles and grimaces as she takes her jacket off, “We got caught in the rain when we were walking after dinner.”
“Oh,” she says, placing her hands over her heart, “That’s so romantic.”
“It won’t be if we get a cold,” Aaron quips as he takes Emily’s jacket from her, “How were the kids?”
“Angels as always,” she replies, “We made cupcakes. Well, Jack and I did. Vi and Luke helped decorate and eat frosting. They are all in bed.”
Emily hums, barely containing a shiver as she crosses her arms over her chest in an attempt to warm herself up, “And how much frosting did you let my toddlers eat just before bed?”
Penelope’s eyes go wide, “I plead the fifth.”
Emily chuckles, a sound punctuated by her teeth chattering, and Aaron places his hand on her shoulder.
“Why don’t you go get changed, sweetheart?”
She nods and smiles at her friend, her eyebrow raised jokingly “If they don’t sleep, I’m bringing them over to yours to spend the night,” she smiles, “Thanks for looking after them Pen.”
“You don’t have to thank me, you know I love spending time with the Mini Hotchs.”
Emily’s too cold to argue with the nickname for once, and she heads upstairs, making sure she’s as quiet as possible as she walks past the kid's bedrooms. She dumps her wet clothes on the floor in the bathroom and changes into a pair of leggings and a sweater that once belonged to Aaron. She’d stolen it from him when she was pregnant, and it had been hers ever since. He wore it occasionally still under her instruction so it still smelt like him, and it made her smile. It was as if bits of him were stitched through the soft material, pressed into the softness of it as it rests against her skin. She throws her hair into a loose ponytail to get it off her neck, and she’s already dreading having to wash it in the morning as she heads back downstairs looking for her husband, her wet clothes in her hands so she can stick them straight in the washer.
She finds Aaron in the laundry room, changed into a pair of sweatpants and a sweater that hadn’t made it back up to their room yet. She passes him her clothes and smiles as he puts them in the washer alongside his.
“I’ll put it on in the morning,” he says, his hand looping around her waist, “Otherwise it might wake up-”
“Mommy? Daddy?”
Emily smiles at the sound of their daughter’s voice, and her excellent timing, and she kisses Aaron quickly before she steps out of the laundry room.
“Vi,” she says, her smile getting wider when she spots the three, almost four, year old in the hallway, her hair rumpled and her favourite toy dragging on the floor next to her, “We’re right here.”
“Mama!” She says, running towards her, her arms in the air as she throws herself at her, “Missed you.”
“I missed you too, baby,” Emily replies, stamping several kisses against her cheek as she lifts her and settles the little girl on her hip, “You should be sleeping though.”
“Not tired.”
Aaron walks over and wraps his arm around them both, “Hi princess.”
“Hi, Daddy.”
He kisses her forehead, “You should be sleeping.”
“Not tired.”
“Not tired.”
Emily and Violet say in unison, their matching dark eyes sparkling with mischief as they smile at him. Emily smiles at him, and he already knows the plan of attack of how to get their daughter back to bed. Ever since she was small she’d insist she wasn’t tired. Even as a baby, she’d fight sleep, her eyes wide as she looked around the room, desperate to be a part of whatever was going on. But as soon as she laid her head against Emily’s chest, as soon as she was snuggled against her mother and was warm and cosy, she’d drift off.
He chuckles and shakes his head, “Okay, why don’t we go sit down on the couch for a little while? But we’ll have to be quiet, otherwise we’ll wake up-”
“Mom, Dad,” Jack says, appearing in the hallway, “When did you get home?”
Emily presses her lips together as Aaron sighs, clearing her throat to hide her amusement, “Not that long ago, sweetie.”
Jack furrows his brows and tilts his head, “Why do you both have wet hair?”
“We got caught in the rain,” Emily says, stepping towards him and adjusting her hold on Viole so she can wrap an arm around Jack’s shoulders, “We were actually just about to go snuggle on the couch to warm up until Vi gets tired enough to sleep,” she says, winking at her eldest, smiling when he immediately catches on, “Want to join us?”
He nods, and she’s grateful for it, forever dreading the day he’d no longer think his parents were cool. She never wanted him to grow out of being the little boy who loved hugs and spending time with her, but she knew he had to grow up. She knew that part of the privilege of being his mom was preparing him, and his brother and sister, for going out into the world, but it didn’t make it any easier.
They are just about to settle onto the couch, blankets thrown over their laps as they snuggle together when they hear a cry from upstairs.
“‘ucas can’t get down himself, he too little,” Violet says, her eyebrows furrowed as she rests her head against Emily’s chest, her thumb in between her teeth. Jack settles against Emily’s side, his head on her shoulder, and Aaron sighs lovingly, already standing back up even though he’d barely sat down. Both Emily and Aaron were grateful Lucas hadn’t mastered climbing out of his crib yet because they knew their home would descend into even more beautiful chaos the moment the 18-month-old figured out how to. Aaron winks at Emily and he squeezes her thigh, making sure the blankets are wrapped around the three of them before he steps away.
“I’ll go get him,” he says, “You three stay here and snuggle.”
“We’re good at snuggling, huh?” Emily says, tugging Jack closer and stamping a kiss against Violet’s forehead, unsurprised to find the little girl was already looking sleepy, “Lukey needs to come join us,” she rests her cheek against the top of Violet’s head and looks at her eldest, “Did you have fun with Aunt Pen, honey?”
Jack nods and smiles, “We baked. And she let me lick the frosting bowl.”
Emily hums and runs her fingers through his hair, “I bet she did.”
“Did you and Dad have fun?”
She smiles, thinking of dinner, the time spent just the two of them already feeling like it was days ago, not just an hour or so, and she nods, “Yeah, it was really fun. We missed you guys though.”
“We missed you too,” Jack replies, snuggling against her, his cheek warm against her shoulder through the material of her sweater.
Aaron walks into the room, a wide awake Lucas on his hip, his little head resting against his father’s shoulder. He was a mini Aaron, right down to the tiny dimples in his cheeks, and it made Emily ache, her gut always twisting at the sight of them together as they both smile at her,
“Room for two more on the Hotchner family cuddle pile?”
She nods and pulls back the blanket so Aaron can sit down, Jack sandwiched between them, and Violet on her lap and Lucas on his, and she thinks she might prefer this to date night anyway.
“Always.”
#hotchniss fanfic#aaron hotchner#emily prentiss#aaron hotchner x emily prentiss#aaron hotchner fanfiction#hotchniss#emily prentiss fanfiction#hotchniss fanfiction#hotchniss fan fic#aaron x emily
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#ugh. i spent 400 dollars at the vet today because of my dumb cat (said with love)#and now my car needs more work done on it#and i might have to get another surgery this year#and i might spend my 25th birthday recovering from surgery again#February is so January so far#sometimes i hate being disabled.
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hope you feel better soon!
I am riddled with ailments, but I stay silly!
#ask#non mdzs#My health journey has been: Hernia -> acid reflux -> Vocal pain due to aforementioned reflux -> chest infection.#I'm terrified to know what's about to hit me next. Please let it be something kind. PLEASE.#The consequence of living with linguists is that you'll wake up with a wacked up voice -#suddenly you're sitting you down in front of a program called something like Praat having your shimmer and jitter levels calibrated.#They gave me a GRBAS of 33012. I have a fun thing called a pitch break where a whole octave just does not exist.#My vocal pain was bad enough I ended up seeing a speech pathologist and that whole experience was super neat!#I learnt a lot about voice - to be honest I might make a little comic on it after some more research. Fascinating stuff.#For example; your mental perception of our voice modulates the muscles of the vocal folds and larynx.#meaning that when you do have changes (inflammation = more mass = lower frequency)#your brain automatically attempts to correct it to what it 'should sound like'. Leading to a lot more vocal strain and damage!#And it gets really interesting for trans voice care as well - because the mental perception of one's voice isn't based on an existing sampl#So a good chunk of trans voice training is also done with the idea of finding one's voice and retraining the brain to accept it. Neat!#Parkinsonial Voice also has this perception to musculature link! The perception is that they are talking at a loud/normal volume#but the actual voice is quite breathy and weak. So vocal training works on practicing putting more effort into the voice#and retraining the brain to accept the 'loud' voice as 'normal'.#Isn't the human body fascinating?#Anyhow; Now I have vocal exercises and strategies to reduce strain and promote healing.#Which is a lot better than my previous strategy of yelling AAAH in my car until my 'voice smoothed out'.#You can imagine the horror on the speech path's face. I am an informed creature now.#I'm my own little lab rat now. I love learning and researching. Welcome to my tag lab. Class is dismissed.#I'll be back later with a few more answered asks </3 despite everything I'm still going to work and I need the extra sleep.#Thank you for the well wishes! And if you read all of that info dump; thank you for that as well!
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.
Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.
#BECAUSE I knew I really liked filming and editing things and doing set design and costume design (from having done little bits of that#here and there in media classes and my own stuff - i used to be a lot more into making videos than I am now). BUT I was always thinking#that a movie is WAAY to big and long. even a short film. So I was trying to think of ways I could still like#have the fun of scouting locations to film and dressing up actors and etc. etc. without it having to be a Huge Million Dollar Production#on tv show or movie level. SO then I was thinking about like... just doing commercials. Or music videos. Like shorter things where I still#get the fun of the filming and everything but it's less of an intensive long term project.#So there is an alternate version of me (I suppose if i somehow did not end up having physical and mental health issues#as badly somehow.. or like.. randomly came into wealth and was able to pay my way through a nice college despite missing#days constantly being out because I'm sick or something lol) that works in some corporate advertising office coming up with commercials#and directing or filming them or doing the sets for them or something in that general vicinity.#I also was considering being a corporate psychologist. or whatever its called.. oh from google:#''Industrial and organizational (I/O) psychologists study and assess individual group and organization dynamics in the workplace''#I don't think I even knew what the job entailed. I was at the time just thinking like.. the type of person that comes into a business offic#and gives everyone personality assessments or does MBTI or big-5 testing crap for whatever reason that some businesses get that#done for people. Really i just wanted to be in a Corporate Big Office setting yet still do psychology. Because I used to be really fixated#on living in a big city. Like the ideas of everything being walkable. picking up a coffee in the morning. walking to my job in a Big#Skyscraper Building. people watching in a huge hotel lobby for lunch. flying frequently (I love airplanes and airports aesthetically).#living in an apartment with a giant window overlooking the city. etc. etc. BUT that was before i had really BEEN to a city. Then I actually#hung around a city a few times and went places and I was like... AUGh... The Sensory Overwhelm.. cars people lights loudness noise scary#everything happening all at once. etc. etc. (though even when I wanted to live in a city i NEVER strove for the Night Life. when i say I#enjoy city imagery I mean like... in the day time. Many people who like cities talk about The Night Life and post pictures of cities all#lit up at night and clubs and dancing and restaurants. none of that EVER appealed to me. perhaps a sign I am not a real city person. Like#I am NOT standing in a crowded bar full of loud people in the middle of the night lol.. get AWAY from me!!) but I do adore the#architecture of like bright white clean sterile modern spaces like huge airport lobbies or malls or etc. I think thats what reminded me of#city and what I liked about the idea of that life. Like I always LOVED the layout of schools and hospitals and trainstations and public#transport in general. Though even then I knew enough that I would not be a good architect/city planner. so I guess my adoration for those#spaces was merely to be channeled into LIVING there. but then I realized I didn't even really want to do that that much. I mean I still#definitely aim to live NEAR a city. like the little areas outside of it. I would never live in a rural place 4 hours from anything. I liter#ally just COULDNT since I need close access to hospitals sometimes lol. But I used to want to live in the CENTER of citites like high rise#condo. and now I'm like.... eh....... perhaps a smaller quieter walkable space nearby lol.. ANYWAY.. alternate me in my Business Suit eheh
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Just when I think the day's going well, I crash a golf cart
#summer camp tag#ace is a mess#i do not have a drivers license and i havent even been behind the wheel in like 4 years since i stopped lessons cus of the pandemic#the day was going fine i got loads done didnt feel like i was irritating my director too bad#doing some paperwork for her and she says when im done well take the golf cart out while its not currently raining#im like ooh fun never been in a golf cart before i see the higher up staff in them im not gonna say no to chilling in a golf cart#i did not realise that meant i would be driving esp when she asked if id been in one before and i said no#she then asked if i could drive and i said not really thought that would be it#cus i was supposed to be studying for my theory before working towards my practical#but no she insists im driving and first off i gotta reverse outta this bay now at least i didnt have to think about gears#but i hate tryna figure out how to turn whilst in reverse in mess with my brain im not great with shape visualisation#we do all our stops its fine for the most part a lil too fast going down some of the hills#and some tight turns but my turns were always like that cus im too busy focusing on the most immediate thing#we get back i park fine and then shes like oh actually there are some more stops we can make so i reverse and turn back out#do our two stops with only minimal confusion about direction then as i go to park into the bay we came from#shes like oh actually park in the bay closest to the health centre and what i should have done was reversed and adjusted my angle#instead i drove directly into the supporting beam separating the two bays 🙃😭#i immediately turn the cart off and expect her to switch with me instead shes like laughing it off oh it was just a little bump it was fine#im like it was not that was a loud ass bang i feel so bad and then she lifts up the light cover i broke off saying its just a scratch#and i feel worse so pf course thats when the camp director comes out to check on the noise and i dont think ive ever worn a guiltier look#but theyre both laughing it off oh just having a little driving lesson :) and i am mortified#she gets back in the cart and shes still insisting that its fine and i should still park after that which i do with great trepidation#but there are no more problems and the lights still work but the cover does need fixing and i just oh my god#ive never crashed before never clipped or scratched a car so of course id crash the golf cart trying to park of all things 😭
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hehehehehehehe
#serena.txt#friday night funkin#fnf#i will freely admit this is very rough LOL its my first time messing around w this stuff. but this is rlly just for me so i dont mind#still gotta compile a lot of the other sprites (tutorial; car; christmas; etc)#but the normal idle is finally done after a lot of work!#also saying right now THIS IS USING A PRE-EXISTING MOD THAT REPLACES PICO W GF. i just used those sprites and#combined them with gf's normal sprites. all credit to the sprites themselves goes to gottagetagrip on gamebanana#again this is rlly just for me so idk if i'd go about actually putting this up as a downloadable mod. esp since again its pretty rough#but if i do i will make sure to get direct permission from them (and anyone else i need to) first#anyways. yayyyyyyy im super happy im glad it didnt turn out complete shit. going to dedicate myself to getting the rest of it done o7#also uhhh i guess if anyone DOES have an interest in one day downloading this for themselves let me know?#if there is an actual demand then i'll definitely plan to reach out to try and publish this. esp since then if someone wanted#to spruce it up a bit more they could LOLLL
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I cannot survive this day lol
#it’s only noon and I need to go to bed immediately and start over#our one triumph today: at the dentist he had his first truly epic blowout - we’re talking poop all up his back inside his onesie#no changing table in the bathroom#and my mom had taken the car so no access to the more elaborate changing setup in the car#so I had to change him on the floor using the three remaining wipes in the pack#while he screamed like he was being tortured and kicked poop everywhere#but we did it we made it and then he chugged a bottle of milk like a soldier who’d just survived his first skirmish with the enemy#I have to take ruthie to the vet in a couple hours but she’s started acting fine today so I’m afraid I’ll be wasting a huge amount of money#meanwhile Pip has started vomiting everywhere#but I think he’s just stressed about baby/sudden change#naturally though I had to have a huge crying jag in the bathroom about the fact of his mortality#anyway friends I’m hanging in there#I need to just simplify simplify simplify#I will lie down for a bit now#then I will try to walk the dogs so it’s out of the way#need to leave by 2:30 to get Ruthie in#and I can listen to a hockey podcast and feel more human on the way#then once that’s done I can just do nothing tonight if I need to#my mom is leaving around 4 for the evening but#I’ve mixed the formula and cleaned all the bottles so I think I can just like#hopefully lie around with the baby#the other thing I need to do is write my mom a thank you letter before she leaves#I just haven’t had the energy but maybe I can ask her to take the baby for an hour tomorrow#and sit outside somewhere and work on it#postpartum tag#today has just been a higher difficulty level lol but I’ll have other kinds of days too#all will be well
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if anyone got tips pls share with the group 🫶🫶🫶🫶
#i've had enough 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶#i'm not getting paid enough to deal w these people's bullshit#just applied to 2 jobs that look solid#& those are the first 2 in WEEKS btw that didn't seem like fucking disasters#1 is mostly for the hybrid opportunity & bc they got ALL the insurances#the other is bc it's downtown montreal (<3) and a cause i'm passionate about - be great to do some MEANINGFUL work#seems like there's a shortage of *decent* job opportunities in my field lately#and idk how i'm getting less callbacks now that i HAVE experience as opposed to when i didn't ???#weird.#anyway.#i'm pissed off this week cause they're crossing my boundaries more and more here & also this garbage weather#FUCKING SNOW#FUCKING HAVING TO SHOVEL AND CLEAN MY CAR BEFORE I CAN DRIVE HOME#FIRST THE CONSTRUCTIONS AND TRAFFIC THEN IT WAS DONE I HAD 3 DAYS OF PEACE AND NOW THIS#LESS AND LESS TIME TO ACTUALLY REST AT HOME BEFORE I GOTTA COME BACK HERE AND DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN#MAN I REALLY FUCKING HATE IT HERE#so yea anyway 🤠😁#anybody got tips to make quick easy money? pls help. lol#i need to start my freelancing business fr fr i just don't feel like i'm creative enough to come up w something lucrative#like i'm making a little money on the side rn but it's def not enough to be a side hustle#i'm just so sick of having to apply to jobs and do interviews and sell myself and working for nasty ass people#yesterday they invited me again to their dumbass christmas party. brother i am not going to your fuckass 60+ y.o. foreign ppl dinner#there is NO one my age and EVERYONE speaks ur language that i dont understand. i'm not spending a second more than required with y'all#AND LIKE 90% OF THEM ARE MEN LIKE. EW. FUCKING EW. NO#i swear if they pressure me one more time or ask me again why i'm not going i'm gonna snap#you are NOT entitled to ANY information about me or my personal life or my reasons why i don't wanna do certain things#i'm here to GET MY MONEY and GO#i can't wait to quit.#**
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