#and now it's out of stock on amazon

[bilestat]

started phantom hourglass and yeah i really don't see how they could put this on nintendo switch online lmao

[satans-knitwear]

Are we supposed to actually know the rules these days?? Or are they just making it up depending on their mood?? 🙄

Treat me ~ Tip me

[spot-splatter-splash]

Completed my Netflix doll set. This may be a hot take but I really love the Netflix dolls. I like the synthetic hair and how they can stand on their own. Theyre really pretty imo! Mad that we never got the rest of the girls or even some netflix style boy dolls

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Wait what the fuck do you mean A Twisted Tale Anthology is out of stock?!

[moonlitlex]

tbh i think my biggest issue with the tv show in a tv show theory for dw this season is just that i'm simply never that invested in the doctor who mystery of the season and care far more about the quality of the individual episodes and/or two-parters. if it ends up paying off in a satisfying way, then that's a nice bonus (the stolen planets in season 4). if not, then oh well (season 7 ????).

but like that's it. a nice bonus. this is partly why i like season 9 the most because literally moffat doesn't even care about the hybrid thing he set up. it's all a scheme to do character work (the thing he is actually good at). it's played up a bit too much, but the point at the end of the day is the character work which is solid.

rtd has never really been great with payoffs either and i said this in another post. the entire appeal of every single one of his episodes that actually worked is all character work. the reason nine is so beloved is the character writing. the reason season one is so beloved is the character writing. that's the thing he's good at. even outside of doctor who, every single thing he's written that is critically acclaimed is highly character focused. it's the thing he's good at.

and instead of focusing on his characters, he is busy setting up the snowing and the songs and susan twist and all the other stuff that will surely be relevant soon in the finale or maybe in the next season.

and genuinely like regardless of how awesome the idea he has come up with is, we're going to go into this finale having extremely bare bones characters. the doctor was lucky enough to be the focal point of boom so at least he's got that, but what does ruby have? she's had some pretty run of the mill adventures. she's a run of the mill companion. but so far there's nothing that makes her unique. she's got lore, but that's just lore. it doesn't tell you much about ruby as a person. she is way too bland as a companion to be going into the season finale already. rtd1 companions and amy and bill didn't have this issue for their first season finales.

like. people haven't been coming to doctor who for 60 years because of it's high concept storytelling, because plenty of the storytelling is extremely questionable and stupid. people have been coming to doctor who for 60 years because they like the characters. people today who are younger than the 2005 revival are fans of characters who havent shown up on tv since the 60s. it's the characters that people get attached to, and the doctor and ruby just haven't gotten enough character writing yet. and what is the point of all of this pomp and circumstance if at the end of the day your characters are more archetypes than people. yeah, it's a nice idea if it's all part of the tv show in a tv show endgame, but at the end of the day we still have to deal with characters who are very bland compared to their earlier counterparts.

[invertedspoon]

WHY are figures so EXPENSIVE EVEN THE KNOCK OFF KINDS???? JUST ME HAVE THE GUY

[horizon-penblade]

lost my stylus around the start of the month and i am SUFFERING

[renranram]

Maid dress

nsfw!!

schlatt jerking off to reader while she's streaming, obvi inspired when j bought wenston some maid outfits and people were calling him his sugar daddy lols

a/n ; 886 words :)

reader flaunts herself at the camera, spinning whilst she tries on the maid outfit schlatt had bought her, " chat, do i look pretty? " she smiles as she assembles the outfit

meanwhile schlatt was on the call with her, eyes immensely focused on her live stream, " jesus fuck, you look worse " he mutters as reader glares at him through the camera

" well, you bought this for me, so maybe it's not me who's the problem " she rolls her eyes at him as schlatt chuckles, not taking his eyes off his screen once

the two had been close friends for over a year now, meeting through, shamefully, the dsmp, the duo are very different ccs on their own, reader being more into makeup and gaming whilst schlatt's varies

ever since they first met on the server the two just sparked a connection, coming off as frenemies for the public, a banter of theirs but exactly off camera, it was a whole different story

schlatt is reader's sugar daddy

at first reader would just joke about being broke, " oh my fucking godd it's so pretty but i dont wanna waste my money ", " that's so fucking expensive ", " okay im broke " until schlatt got tired and actually offered her to be her sugar daddy

at first reader thought it was a joke, a silly new banter for them but nope!, every week, new parcels would arrive on the streamer's doorstep with small notes, but chat doesn't know that, chat doesn't need to know that

" fine, ill get you a new one done " he mumbles, as he scrolls through amazon, " anime french maid apron lolita fancy dress cosplay costume furry cat ear gloves socks set " he reads out the title causing reader to chuckle as they wear the stockings for the uniform

" oh it comes in pink " he added as reader smiles, " i like pink " she replies as schlatt scoffs, " of course you do "

as the girl sits down on her bed to wear the stockings, schlatt's eyes linger down on her bare thighs, enjoying the view as he leans back on his chair

" do you need something else too? " he mutters as reader gasps, " oh my gosh! you should buy me that uhm... blaire doll thing " she smiles as schlatt shakes his head, " blaire doll thing? " he repeats her, " the fuck is that? "

reader tries to wear the collar to complete the look, " it's like a doll! " she states as she grabs her phone to show off the picture

" that's an ugly looking doll " he mutters, as he gulps, looking down at his now hard on, unironically finding reader in a whole cat maid dress... hot

" more uglier than you are " she retorts as he chuckles, " guess no more doll for you then " schlatt replies, shrugging as reader gasps, now pouting

" im kiddingggg pleaseee buy me one? " she pleads looking at the camera as her live chat speeds up, " .. fuck.. " he groans out, not loud enough for his mic to pick up, him slowly sliding in his hand inside his shorts

" please please please " she continues, as she reads off the chat, " please jschlatt senpai " she bursts out laughing, mentally cringing as schlatt chuckles, " ..fine "

" yay! chat! we fucking wonnn! " she celebrates as she jumps around the frame, clasping her hands together, " we're the best at this shit " she shrugs, smug, unaware that the man she's in a call with is already jerking off to her

" reader.., think im gonna mute for a sec, gotta do something " he mumbles as reader nods, understanding, " bet, im gonna talk with chat for a bit " she smiles, as schlatt immediately mutes himself

" fuck.. what a fucking whore.. i didn't actually think she'd do a stream " schlatt chuckles, amused as he palms himself, as reader did what she said, interacting with her audience

" what a pretty slut holy shit " he chuckles, clearly amused as he bites his lip, his rough hand playing with his dick

" chat i look so pretty right? " reader asks, fixing her hair as chat spams yes, " you damn sure are " he mumbles, as he grabs the base of his cock, using his saliva for lube

" ah fuck, fucking.. so fucking pretty " he breathes out, his body shuddering slightly as he jerks himself off, his eyes never leaving her

" fuck.. fuck.. " schlatt throws his head back as he leans back on his chair, fastening his pace, " stupid fucking whore.. "

he moans out, lifting his shirt up, as he continues to palm himself at the sight of her, he's never gonna buy her those stupid costumes again

or maybe he'll rain her with more gifts, then maybe a flight to texas so she can show everything off to him... maybe

his lashes flutter, fastening his already fast pace as he continues to moan, " stupid fucking slut, .. shit... pretty- pretty whore " he stammers

he can feel his precum leaking as reader talks with her chat, innocent yet suggestive, that stupid maid dress, if schlatt can immediately fly to london, he fucking would, he'd immediately bend her over, not caring if she was streaming or not and fuck her like some animal

" ah fuck! " he moans loudly, his semen, spurting on his keyboard making a fucking mess, " shit... " he groans out

maybe instead of ordering her a new costume, maybe he'll fly her out instead

[thebibliosphere]

That last ask made me check my Ingram Spark rates because I couldn't remember some stuff, and in case you're wondering what book distribution in Australia is like right now:

Country: Australia Recommended price: $ 29.99 Retailer Discount: 40% Compensation to author: $ 0.15

A thirty dollar book, and the author is earning 15 cents.

So, yeah. If you're ever upset that you're favorite author isn't available down under, we're so sorry. This is why.

We're being gouged left, right and center by the industry, and it's honestly not much better for the rest of the world either.

I'm earning just under $4 per book on US sales ($2.80 on Amazon because, lol, I was so stressed with Ingram I forgot to update the Zon. Price changes are pending.) for a book, I was forced to mark up to $24.99 because Ingram Spark made the 40% discount to retailers mandatory* as well as increasing the fee they take, and if I'd kept my books at $17.99, they would have taken it off the market because I would have been earning negative dollars.

In the span of a single year, my book went from $14.99 to $17.99 to $24.99 because of "inflation." And I'm earning, uh, well, in some cases, 15 cents.

Capitalism 🌈✨🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

----

*They are still pushing us to give retailers a 55% discount, or we won't be stocked in stores. Because, aha, fuck our lives, I guess. I also suspect Ingram are not actually giving that discount to retailers, but I can't prove it beyond a couple of book retailers reaching out to me and Ingram never acknowledged my emails, so doubly fuck my life I guess.

[thefirsthogokage]

Fuck AMPTP and the bullshit going on. I'm tired, might not do this well:

(link to article in above picture) From The Article

Receiving positive feedback from Wall Street since the WGA went on strike May 2, Warner Bros Discovery, Apple, Netflix, Amazon, Disney, Paramount and others have become determined to “break the WGA,” as one studio exec blatantly put it.

To do so, the studios and the AMPTP believe that by October most writers will be running out of money after five months on the picket lines and no work.

“The endgame is to allow things to drag on until union members start losing their apartments and losing their houses,” a studio executive told Deadline. Acknowledging the cold-as-ice approach, several other sources reiterated the statement. One insider called it “a cruel but necessary evil.”

The studios and streamers’ next think financially strapped writers would go to WGA leadership and demand they restart talks before what could be a very cold Christmas. In that context, the studios and streamers feel they would be in a position to dictate most of the terms of any possible deal.

[Image IDs: Twitter thread by David Slack posted July 12th, 2023 that reads in totality:

And right on cue, here’s the inevitable Deadline article claiming that the AMPTP and their CEO bosses are ready to wait us out and let us “go broke.”

They’re not. They can’t. This studio propaganda, and here’s why.

In the increasingly mega-merged and hedgefundified Hollywood, these companies live or die on their quarterly earnings reports. It only takes one bad quarter for their stock price to plunge, putting the company and the CEO’s job in jeopardy.

But their stock prices are holding steady, right? Right. For now. Because our industry is a pipeline that starts with writers. The TV and movies they’re releasing now are shows we started making for them 4-12 quarters ago. But what happens when that pipeline runs dry?

What happens is they run out of product. No new shows in streaming to drive and sustain subscribers. No new shows in broadcast and ad-supported to bring in ad revenue.

No shows, no money.

No money, bad earnings report.

Bad earnings report, bye-bye stock price. Bye-bye CEO.

After 70+ days with no writers to create their product for them, the pipeline is running dry.

Their stock price isn’t tanking yet. But if they don’t make a deal with us, it will.

And they know it.

If they make a deal soon, they might be able to weather it. Stretch out releases. Rush some new stuff through.

But the longer they keep us out, the longer that pipeline runs dry, the more unavoidable a catastrophic dip in new high-quality shows becomes.

And they know it.

So yeah, the studios are planting articles in the trades that make it sound like they’re so determined not to pay us the 0.02% of company revenues we’re asking for that they’re willing to hold out forever.

Bullshit.

I’m sure the AMPTP bosses would love to break our union. But they love their jobs more. They love money more. They can’t make that money without us.

And they know it.

Ignore the trades, walk the line, stand together, and win. #WGAStrong

/End ID]

Bonus: John Rogers' Reaction

[Image ID: A tweet from John Rogers that he posted July 12th, 2023 that reads:

I was trying to be cool and professional about this strike, but this AMPTP “we want to drive them to homelessness” shit means I’m going to be dug in at WB Gate 4 like Hiroo Onada. They’re gonna have to send @ellenstutzman with a bullhorn to order me out of the bushes.

The second image is Ellen Stutzman's Twitter bio that says:

Cheif Negotiator for WGA MBA, Assistant Executive Director, Writers Guild of America, West; Cornell ILR and UCLA Anderson alum. Views are my own.

/End ID]

EDIT: Please see the update on this HERE

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Kickstarting the audiobook of The Lost Cause, my novel of environmental hope

Tonight (October 2), I'm in Boise to host an event with VE Schwab. On October 7–8, I'm in Milan to keynote Wired Nextfest.

The Lost Cause is my next novel. It's about the climate emergency. It's hopeful. Library Journal called it "a message hope in a near-future that looks increasingly bleak." As with every other one of my books Amazon refuses to sell the audiobook, so I made my own, and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/doctorow/the-lost-cause-a-novel-of-climate-and-hope

That's a lot to unpack, I know. So many questions! Including this one: "How is it that I have another book out in 2023?" Because this is my third book this year. Short answer: I write when I'm anxious, so I came out of lockdown with nine books. Nine!

Hope and writing are closely related activities. Hope (the belief that you can make things better) is nothing so cheap and fatalistic as optimism (the belief that things will improve no matter what you do). The Lost Cause is full of people who are full of hope.

The action begins a full generation after the Hail Mary passage of the Green New Deal, and the people who grew up fighting the climate emergency (rather than sitting hopelessly by while the powers that be insisted that nothing could or should be done) have a name for themselves: they call themselves "the first generation in a century that doesn't fear the future."

I fear the future. Unchecked corporate power has us barreling over a cliff's edge and all the one-percent has to say is, "Well, it's too late to swerve now, what if the bus rolls and someone breaks a leg? Don't worry, we'll just keep speeding up and leap the gorge":

https://locusmag.com/2022/07/cory-doctorow-the-swerve/

That unchecked corporate power has no better avatar than Amazon, one of the tech monopolies that has converted the old, good internet into "five giant websites, each filled with screenshots of the other four":

https://twitter.com/tveastman/status/1069674780826071040

Amazon maintains a near-total grip over print and ebooks, but when it comes to audiobooks, that control is total. The company's Audible division has captured more than 90% of the market, and it abuses that dominance to cram Digital Rights Management onto every book it sells, even if the author doesn't want it:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/07/25/can-you-hear-me-now/#acx-ripoff

I wrote a whole-ass book about this and it came out less than a month ago; it's called The Internet Con and it lays out an audacious plan to halt the internet's enshittification and throw it into reverse:

http://www.seizethemeansofcomputation.org/

The tldr is this: when an audiobook is wrapped in Amazon's DRM, only Amazon can legally remove it. That means that every book I sell you on Audible is a book you have to throw away if you ever break up with Amazon, and Amazon can use the fact that it's hold you hostage to screw me – and every other author – over.

As I said last time this came up:

Fuck that sideways.

With a brick.

My books are sold without DRM, so you can play them in any app and do anything copyright permits, and that means Amazon won't carry them, and that means my publishers don't want to pay to produce them, and that means I produce them myself, and then I make the (significant) costs back by selling them on Kickstarter.

And you know what? It works. Readers don't want DRM. I mean, duh. No one woke up this morning and said, "Dammit, why won't someone sell me a product that lets me do less with my books?" I sell boatloads" of books through these crowdfunding campaigns. I sold so many copies of my last book, *The Internet Con, that they sold out the initial print run in two weeks (don't worry, they held back stock for my upcoming events).

But beyond that, I think there's another reason my readers keep coming back, even though I wrote a genuinely stupid number of books while working through lockdown anxiety while the wildfires raged and ashes sifted down out of the sky and settled on my laptop as I lay in my backyard hammock, pounding my keyboard.

(I went through two keyboards during lockdown. Thankfully, I bought a user-serviceable laptop from Framework and fixed it myself both times, in a matter of minutes. No, no one pays me to mention this, but hot damn is it cool.)

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/13/graceful-failure/#frame

The reason readers come back to my books is that they're full of hope. In the same way that writing lets me feel like I'm not a passenger in life, but rather, someone with a say in my destination, the books that I write are full of practical ways and dramatic scenes in which other people seize the means of computation, the reins of power or their own destinies.

The protagonist of The Lost Cause is Brooks Palazzo, a high-school senior in Burbank whose parents were part of the original cohort of volunteers who kicked off the global transformation, and left him an orphan when they succumbed to one of the zoonotic plagues that arise every time another habitat is destroyed.

Brooks grew up knowing what his life would be: the work of repair and care, which millions of young people are doing. Relocating entire cities off endangered coastlines and floodplains, or out of fire-zones. Fighting floods and fires. Caring for tens of millions of refugees for whom the change came too late.

But with every revolution comes a counter-revolution. The losers of a just war don't dig holes, climb inside and pull the dirt down on top of themselves. Two groups of reactionaries – seagoing anarcho-capitalist billionaire wreckers and seething white nationalist militias – have formed an alliance.

They've already gotten their champion into the White House. Next up: dismantling every cause for hope Brooks and his friends have, and bringing back the fear.

That's the setup for a novel about solidarity, care, library socialism, and snatching victory from defeat's jaws. Writing it help keep me sane during the lockdown, and when it came time to record the audiobook, I spent a lot of time thinking about who could read it. I've had some great narrators: Wil Wheaton, @neil-gaiman, Amber Benson, Bronson Pinchot, and more.

I record my audiobooks with Skyboat Media, a brilliant studio near my place in LA. Back in August, I spent a week in their recording booth – "The Tardis" – doing something I'd never tried before: I recorded a whole audiobook, with directorial supervision: The Internet Con:

https://transactions.sendowl.com/products/78992826/DEA0CE12/purchase

When it was done, the director – audiobook legend Gabrielle de Cuir – sat me down and said, "Look, I've never said this to an author before, but I think you should read The Lost Cause. I don't direct anyone anymore except for Wil Wheaton and LeVar Burton, but I would direct you on this one."

I was immensely flattered – and very nervous. Reading The Internet Con was one thing – the book is built around the speeches I've been giving for 20 years and I knew I could sell those lines – but The Lost Cause is a novel, with a whole cast of characters. Could I do it?

Reader, I did it. I just listened to the proofs last week and:

It.

Came.

Out.

Great.

The Lost Cause goes on sale on November 14th, and I'll be selling this audiobook I made everywhere audiobooks are sold – except for the stores that require DRM, nonconsensually shackling readers and writers to their platforms. So you'll be able to get it on Libro.fm, downpour.com, even Google Play – but not Audible, Apple Books, or Audiobooks.com.

But in addition to those worthy retailers, I will be sending out thousands – and thousands! – of audiobook to my Kickstarter backers on the on-sale date, either as a folder of DRM-free MP3s, or as a download code for Libro.fm, to make things easy for people who don't want to have to figure out how to sideload an audiobook into a standalone app.

And, of course, the mobile duopoly have made this kind of sideloading exponentially harder over the past decade, though far be it from me to connect this with their policy of charging 30% commissions on everything sold through an app, a commission they don't receive if you get your files on the web and load 'em yourself:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/doctorow/red-team-blues-another-audiobook-that-amazon-wont-sell/posts/3788112

As with my previous Kickstarters, I'm also selling ebooks and hardcovers – signed or unsigned, and this time I've found a great partner to fulfill EU orders from within the EU, so backers won't have to pay VAT and customs charges. The wonderful Otherland – who have hosted me on my last two trips to Berlin – are going to manage that shipping for me:

https://www.otherland-berlin.de/en/home.html

Kim Stanley Robinson read the book and said, "Along with the rush of adrenaline I felt a solid surge of hope. May it go like this." That's just about the perfect quote, because the book is a ride. It's not just a kumbaya tale of a better world that is possible: it's a post-cyberpunk novel of high-tech guerrilla and meme warfare, climate tech and bad climate tech, wildcat prefab urban infill, and far-right militamen who adapt to a ban on assault-rifles by switching to super-soakers full of hydrochloric acid.

It's a book about struggle, hope in the darkness, and a way through this rotten moment. It's a book that dares to imagine that things might get worse but also better. This is a curious emotional melange, but it's one that I'm increasingly feeling these days.

Like, Amazon, that giant bully, whose blockade on DRM-free audiobooks cost me enough money to pay off my mortgage and put my kid through university (according to my agent)? The incredible Lina Khan brought a long-overdue antitrust case against Amazon while her rockstar DoJ counterpart, Jonathan Kanter, is dragging Google through the courts.

The EU is taking on Apple, and French cops are kicking down Nvidia's doors and grabbing their files, looking to build another antitrust case for monopolizing GPUs. The writers won their strike and Joe Biden walked the picket-line with the UAW, the first president in history to join striking workers:

https://doctorow.medium.com/joe-biden-is-headed-to-a-uaw-picket-line-in-detroit-f80bd0b372ab?sk=f3abdfd3f26d2f615ad9d2f1839bcc07

Solar is now our cheapest energy source, which is wild, because if we could only capture 0.4% of the solar energy that makes it through the atmosphere, we could give everyone alive the same energy budget as Canadians (who have American lifestyles but higher heating bills). As Deb Chachra writes in her forthcoming How Infrastructure Works (my review pending): we get a fresh supply of energy every time the sun rises and we only get new materials when a comet survives atmospheric entry, but we treat energy as scarce and throw away our materials after a single use:

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/612711/how-infrastructure-works-by-deb-chachra/

Anything that can't go on forever will eventually stop. We have shot past many of our planetary boundaries and there are waves of climate crises in our future, but they don't have to be climate disasters. That's up to us – it'll depend on whether we come together to save ourselves and each other, or tear ourselves apart.

The Lost Cause dares to imagine what it might be like if we do the former. We don't live in a post-enshittification world yet, but we could. With these indie audiobooks, I've found a way to treat the terminal enshittification of the Amazon monopoly as damage and route around it. I hope you'll back the Kickstarter, fight enshittification, inject some hope into your reading, and enjoy a kickass adventure novel in the process:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/doctorow/the-lost-cause-a-novel-of-climate-and-hope

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/02/the-lost-cause/#the-first-generation-that-doesnt-fear-the-future

[winterrrnight]

husband!rafe just doing the little things like turning on the car ac, tracking his wife’s period, buying her skincare products when she runs low

ouuuhhhh my goddddd I am going feral over this cause this is just so accurate!!!

part of this little universe <3

rafe is just always making sure that his lovely goddess of a wife doesn't feel out of her comfort zone at all.

she usually goes to her work before he leaves to get to the business, so while she is getting ready, he goes to their driveway to do a quick check of her car.

he checks the tires once for their air pressure, he checks the engine every now and then, checks if the car has enough gas or not (even when he got the tank full just the previous day).

if there is any issue, he gets to fixing it immediately. lets say the tank was almost empty, he would've taken it to the nearest gas station and would've bought it back before she is even done getting ready.

once he gives a green light to everything, he turns on the ac to cool the car before she comes (or the heater if it is winters).

next topic of agenda: her periods.

he always keeps a mental note of her period dates so he can estimate when she'll get them the next month.

when he knows she's going to her period in a matter of days, he does some... preparations.

preparations include stocking up on everything she craves when she is on her periods: sweets, chocolates, ice cream, candy; you name it, he has it.

if she tends to have bad cramps, he keeps hot water bottles ready for her.

at night when she feels troubled from the pain and can't sleep, he gently rubs her tummy, lower abdomen, thighs; wherever her cramps are bothering her.

if she tends to have mood swings, he stays as gentle as he can with her, always talking to her softly and just simply taking care of her.

and the last one!!!! personally I'm here for that😚he keeps a good check on her skincare products and how close they are to finishing.

he has her skincare routine memorized, he knows the steps and he knows the products and the brands she uses.

in fact I strongly hc that his wife is the one who got him into skincare too!!

"sunscreen is important and there's no way I'm letting you leave the house without it."

she only had to say it once; he always listens to his goddess.

but yeah, he keeps a check on the products, and sometimes his wife is surprised to see she has received a skincare package but then she realises she was running low on those specific products.

and if his wife likes to do make up, I feel this applies to that too!!

he heard her talking about this eyeshadow palette, and bam! it's on their porch in a few days. (probably the very same day cause he is a proud amazon prime member and wants his wife to get her gifts as quick as possible 😁).

(share any of your husband!rafe thoughts and headcanons or for drew/rafe/zach! sfw only <3)

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Limited run of the Time to Orbit: Unknown duology available on ko-fi

I'm doing a limited run to pilot the viability of this idea. Currently, very limited stock is available, selling to Oceania, the UK, and the US.

Assuming this all works out well, I'll expand this service to other countries and start selling unlimited copies.

You can now order the Time to Orbit: Unknown duology direct from the printer through my ko-fi shop.

If I've run the numbers right, this should work out significantly cheaper than ordering the books through retailers. (Seventy Australian dollars through Amazon for a paperback. Jesus fucking christ.) You can order the books individually, or as a pair. Happy buying!

[wildrangers]

Book Lovers // Quinn Hughes

Word Count: 5K

Summary: Quinn x fem OC author

Content: prolonged meet cute, flirty banter, fluff. Truly, I saw the clip of Quinn sharing he's a reader and knew I had to write something based on that.

Quinn took a deep, contented breath as he perused the shelves before him. He had a rare day off and was doing one of his favorite fall activities: book shopping.

Normally, he just went to Chapters or Barnes, depending on what country he was in, but he’d decided to explore a new place. He’d been discussing books with Lauren, the new social media manager, and she’d ranted about how they and Amazon were “destroying local markets and harming author profits.” Most of her argument had gone over his head but he took away enough, so here he was at Thomas’ Tomes–the closest locally-owned book shop to his apartment. He figured that was as good a place to start as any and it certainly didn’t hurt that it was a block from his favorite coffee place. 

Which is how he found himself, pumpkin spiced latte in hand, soaking in the relaxing energy of the cozy shop. He’d already selected a few historical fiction novels and was scanning the mystery section he’d just entered. He pulled his phone out, scanning his notes app for the title Lauren had recommended. She’d said it was pretty gruesome but he figured he could handle it…probably.

“Can I help you?” a voice nearby asked, startling him. “I’m sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. Are you sure a mystery book is a good idea?” 

His gaze rose to meet warm, golden brown eyes filled with amusement. “What do you mean?”

“It’s broad daylight in a public setting and you almost dropped your PSL because I greeted you.”

“You didn’t scare me, I was just in my own world��� he argued, but felt his cheeks pinkening. She really had set off a fight or flight response just by doing her job.

“Of course” she replied and he couldn’t tell if he was being sensitive or if there was a teasing glint in her eyes. “My offer still stands.” 

“I’m sorry what?” he asked, confused and scrambling to keep up. 

“To help you find something…preferably a book. I don’t know how much help I’d be beyond that.” 

“Oh sure, yeah, thanks” he mumbled, setting his stack of books down on the table next to him so he could more easily show her his phone screen. “Someone recommended this book to me, do you have it in stock?”

He caught a whiff of something earthy and relaxing as she leaned closer, her eyes scanning the note. “Ah, yes we actually have a display over this way. Theo’s a local author.”

He picked up his items and followed her, moving much quicker than he anticipated having to to keep up as she weaved through the store. “Have you worked here a long time?” 

“My whole life essentially” she chuckled, throwing a grin over her shoulder. Just as she turned back, they passed a window that set her red hair aflame in the midday sun. 

“Oh, yeah? No labor laws then?” he teased, he hoped, successfully.

“I mean, I basically harassed my parents to let me stock shelves or talk to customers. Now I’m slightly less enthusiastic about inventory.” 

He laughed at her light tone, drawing to a stop as she did. “Wow, is this a series or something?” he asked, taking in the full display. 

“Well, the one your girlfriend recommended is the first in a new series” she answered, pointing it out. He was about to correct her but she continued quickly, “And the sequel isn’t out until early next year, so you’ll be waiting a bit for answers. Maybe start with this one?” she suggested, pointing out a title with the fewest books available. 

“Only a couple copies left, it must be popular. Have you read it?” 

“More times than I can count” she huffed.

“You’d think if you kept rereading it’s because you enjoyed it, no?” he chuckled. 

She simply shrugged, turning fully to meet his gaze, “Well, what’s the verdict? I do feel the need to warn you, these books are much closer to horror than just a normal mystery or thriller.” 

“Why does no one think I can handle these books?” he sighed in mild annoyance, grabbing the one she’d recommended off the shelf. 

“You just don’t seem like a horror enthusiast, that’s all.” 

“How could you possibly know that?”

“Do you want me to answer genuinely?” she responded, eyebrow quirked in a challenge he couldn’t help but rise to.

“Sure but if you hurt my feelings, can you at least give me a discount?” he joked and she snorted out a laugh.

“You’ve got yourself a deal” she smirked, offering her hand to shake on it, which he did. He wasn’t at all surprised when her handshake was firm and she maintained eye contact the entire time. “Well, you have two historical fiction books with you and that was the first section you went to when you walked in.”

“You were watching me?” he laughed, earning him an eye roll.

“It’s 11AM on a Tuesday, there’s not much else to do,” she replied, gesturing to the otherwise empty store. “Plus, it’s a fun game to play when I procrastinate on doing actual work. Anyway,” she emphasized, closing her eyes briefly to seemingly get herself back on track. “Once you found those, both of which are part of long, ongoing series, you debated going left to nonfiction or right to mystery. My guess is, you normally would go pick out some biographies, maybe some historical nonfiction or even, oh, maybe some kind of ‘how to maximize yourself’ guide. How close am I?”

He felt his cheeks warm from pink to scarlet, “I mean, close but that doesn’t mean I can’t also like mysteries…” he argued weakly. 

“True enough, who’s your favorite thriller writer?” The long silence was answer enough so she continued, “If you want, you can go pick out a nonfiction book and I’ll throw the thriller in for free.”

“You don’t have to do that, my feelings weren’t that hurt.”

She shrugged, “I can’t in good conscience let you pay for that book, you must have done something to piss off your girlfriend.”

“My coworker, actually” he corrected and her eyebrows rose. “What?”

“What did you do to the poor girl?” 

“Nothing! I even took her suggestion to shop locally.” 

“Our hero” she fake swooned and he rolled his eyes, making her laugh. “Fine, how about when you’re done you bring up your haul and I’ll throw in a surprise? I feel like you’re making it a pride thing to buy the book now.”

“Color me intrigued, we have another deal” he replied. “My name’s Quinn, by the way.” 

“Dora” she replied but a loud snort erupted from near the registers. “Fuck off, Richie” she snapped, turning away from him to seemingly go yell at whoever laughed at her.

Quinn tried to relax back into the calming routine of ambling through a bookstore but he kept hearing her voice and couldn’t focus on much else. He grabbed a biography Jack had recommended, both dreading and eager to be teased by the redhead.

“Don’t let her manipulate you into buying that garbage” the guy, presumably Richie, called as soon as Quinn was in his line of sight. 

“I’m doing no such thing! Tell him, Quinn” she replied, cheeks flaming red in annoyance, her golden eyes fierce with indignation. 

“My coworker actually recommended this author. A different book but still…” he shrugged, placing his other selections on the counter. He noticed her eyes appraising his selections and the quick, amused quirk of her mouth before she whirled to focus on Richie. 

“See I told you!”

“I’m sorry for not believing you” Richie said, seeming sincere to Quinn’s ears but Dora’s eyes narrowed. “It’s just that Theodora here often tries to swindle impressionable young men to improve her book sales.” The heavy emphasis on the girl’s full name made Quinn pause. 

“Wait a minute…” he blinked rapidly, processing this new information. “Your family owns this shop, right? Thomas’ Tomes?” 

“...yeah” she grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring daggers at the giggling Richie. 

“And when you gave your name as Dora, he laughed. And this book, it’s written by Theo Thomas. And he just called you Theodora, which I think means you wrote this?” he questioned, feeling proud of himself for putting the pieces together and a little embarrassed it took him so long.

“He’s solved the mystery! Maybe he can handle your book after all, dear sister” Richie teased. 

“I was going to tell him!” Theo argued, grabbing a pen and opening the book. “That was the surprise, Quinn, now you have a signed copy of the book. You’re welcome, you can thank my asshole brother for ruining the reveal. I also signed a copy of the one your coworker recommended, can you pass it along to her? On the house.” 

“Are you sure?” Quinn questioned and she nodded, shifting to ring up the rest of his purchase. 

“Theo, stop” Richie huffed, shifting her away from the till. “You need to stop procrastinating and finish that last round of edits, they’re due within the week.”

“It’s just garbage anyway, you said so yourself” Theo replied mopily, sitting down on the stool next to the register.

“Oh come on…” Richie sighed, pausing his scanning to give his sister his full attention. “I was just messing with you. I know the sequel’s giving you a hard time but you’re at the finish line now, just a few more days of work then it’s out of your hands. And you’re an incredible, if worryingly grotesque, writer so I have every faith it’ll be amazing.”

“Did you hear that, Quinn?” Theo asked, grinning widely. “He finally admitted I’m a good writer.” 

“Oh fuck off, you guilted me into it!” Richie replied, grabbing the debit card from his outstretched hand. “Quinn, right?” 

“...yeah?”

“Quinn, can you please take my sister anywhere other than this shop? The cafe, the movies, a strip club? I literally don’t care, she’s driving me nuts.” 

“Richie! I’m sorry, he’s kidding, he knows that would be a weird, rude thing to request of a total stranger.” 

“A total stranger you’ve been flirting with…” he mumbled and Theo jammed her elbow into his side.

“Here, let me walk you out…” Theo said, grabbing his bag of books and rapidly leading him away from her brother. Once the cool fresh air surrounded them, she turned quickly towards him. “I am so sorry, Richie thinks he’s funny when he’s really just weird.”

“I have two brothers, I get it” Quinn assured her, reaching to grab the bag from her hands. “It was nice to have someone sign something for me for once.” 

“Do you sign things for people often?” she questioned, confusion evident in her eyes as she scanned him, trying to place who he may be. 

“Most nights yeah” he chuckled shyly, embarrassed by his comment. “Forget about it though…”

“No, no, I’m curious now” she smiled, head tilted in appraisal. “Not an author, I’d know you already. You definitely don’t give off musician vibes…but I don’t think I’ve seen you in anything either so not an actor. Who are you really Quinn? Here I was feeling bad for putting you through the ringer for my own amusement back there and you were a celebrity the whole time.”

“I wouldn’t go that far” he laughed anxiously, running his hands through his hair. 

“Well you’re either someone of import or completely delusional and just handing out signatures to people on the streets, so which is it?”

“I’m a hockey player.”

“...okay, and?”

“We’re in Vancouver.” 

“Yes, I’m aware.” 

“This is a huge hockey city! You don’t know the Canucks?”

“I don’t live under a rock, of course I do” she scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “I was raised in a bookstore though so sports aren’t high on my list of interests.” 

“Are they on your list at all?” 

“Take a wild guess, Quinn” she replied sarcastically. “I guess you’re a big deal then?”

“I mean, I am the captain…”

“Is that normally what gets girls interested in you?” 

“Damn, tell me how you really feel” he answered, averting his eyes and trying to play off how the quip hurt him. 

“Hey, I’m sorry” she replied, her voice gentle as she tugged softly on his coat sleeve “That’s not how I meant it. I guess I’m just surprised you felt the need to try to impress me when I’ve been waiting for you to ask me out since I walked over to you in the shop.” 

He was briefly stunned into silence, causing her to rapidly continue, “Oh god, I’m leaving. I hope my book doesn’t traumatize you and I’m sorry for assuming you were trying to impress me, that was weird and presumptuous of me.”

It was his turn to grab her sweater sleeve lightly, “Can I have your number?” 

“Are you sure you want it? I’m clearly an expert at putting my foot into my mouth…” 

“I’m 100% sure but only if you’re interested. There's no pressure.” 

Theo reached into the shopping bag, adding her number to her signature before returning it. “Text me when you finish chapter eight, not a minute before okay? You need to know what you’re getting into here.”

***

Theo sighed, finally closing her laptop for the night but not before catching the time: 1AM. She’d procrastinated most of the day before forcing herself to do the one chapter she’d promised herself she’d get done. She was confident in the overall story but she felt like a single thread was missing that would lead to the next book’s central plot. Should the apparent villain be more gray and get a redemption arc? Or should she double down? Or maybe…her phone vibrating across the desk stopped her obsessing.

Respectfully, your mind must be a truly terrifying place. What the FUCK was that twist?

She smirked, butterflies tentatively taking flight in her stomach at the unknown number’s text.

I’m sorry, who is this?

How many men do you secretly sell your book to, sign said book with your number, and give detailed instructions on when they can use that number?

At least three today that I can think of, so any additional information would really help.

It’s Quinn.   

Ah yes, the biography and historical fiction lover! What twist are you referring to? 

I think if I typed it out I’d get flagged by an FBI agent or something…that was gruesome

I tried to warn you…

Take my advice, try harder with your next group of guys

I’ll do my best. I suspect the more I’d try to warn you off the more you would have dug your heels in though

Nah, I don’t have a competitive bone in my body 

Of course, my bad. Will you finish the book or is it too much? You can always give it to your girlfriend

*Coworker. I wouldn’t be texting a beautiful girl I just met if I was in a relationship

How charming and reassuring of you!

Are you always like this?

Like what?

Chirping

…I’m sorry what?

You don’t know what chirping means? That’s disappointing given you're a writer, Theo… 

Please, enlighten me

Chirping is a hockey term for when you’re ribbing someone. During a game, guys will chirp or make fun of each other to get under their skin. 

Are you saying I’m getting under your skin?

I’m saying I feel like my brain has to work overtime to keep up with you

That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me

That can’t possibly be true

As she mulled over what to say next, the three blue dots popped up so she paused until his response appeareed

Can I ask you a forward question? 

Shoot 

Are you free tonight? 

Are you asking me on a date?

Not quite, I’m asking you to come to my hockey game 

And why’s that?

Because you’re clearly smart and cute and have a twisted mind that I’m curious to learn more about. But you gave me a warning, so asking you to go to my game is mine

Ah, so since you passed my test you want to see if I can pass yours?

If you want it to be a challenge, sure. I just think it’s fair for you to get a glimpse of my weird life before I actually ask you out. Just like how you showed me a glimpse of your weird brain. 

Challenge and pre-date screening accepted. Where do I go and when? 

Which is how Theo found herself weaving through the crowds at Rogers Arena. Quinn had offered to get her a second ticket so she’d have company but she figured it was fair she went it alone since he was game to read her book. How terrifying could a hockey game be in comparison to a brutal serial killer story?

Quite scary, it turned out. The crowd was electric, the arena was sold out, and the noise was deafening. She’d never admit it to Quinn but she did watch some basic hockey rule videos on YouTube so she wouldn’t be totally oblivious. By the third period, she felt settled into the rhythm of the game and was actually enjoying it a bit. Especially when a fight broke out and she could cheer for violence against a random man she didn’t know alongside thousands of people. There was something very cathartic about the experience. 

It also turned out that Quinn, in this world, is a big deal. She’d immediately noticed that a huge percentage of fans were wearing his jersey. And as the team warmed up, Quinn had traded a puck for a piece of candy causing the teenage girl to scream in hysterics afterwards. It was both bizarre and fascinating to watch given she’d met this random man the day before at her family’s store. Maybe she should have asked for a signature, it probably would sell for a pretty penny…

A roar from the crowd pulled her attention back to the ice and her heart dropped to her stomach. Fights were a lot less fun when you knew and had budding feelings for one of the guys involved, especially when who he was squared off against had almost half a foot on him. To her surprise and relief, Quinn could hold his own, using speed to his advantage. When they both fell to the ice before finally being separated, she took it to mean it was a draw but the crowd screamed like he’d single handedly won the championship game, even as he was guided off the ice by the officials. There was less than three minutes left in the game so she hoped that was why rather than that he was hurt. She worried her lip between her teeth as she pulled out her phone.

Idk if you’ll see this before the end of the game but are you okay?????

She sighed as the minutes passed, the final buzzer sounding without a reply, so she stood to leave with the tide of people. Just as she tucked her phone in her pocket, she felt it buzzing insistently with a phone call. 

“Quinn, are you okay?” she asked without greeting him. She was focused on his answer but noticed a few fans within hearing distance whip their heads towards her at his name.

“Yeah, sorry I jumped right in the shower after the major.”

“I don’t totally know what that whole sentence means but I’m relieved you’re alright.”

His warm chuckle through the phone made her toes curl. “Did I scare you off?”

“I’m offended you’d think so” she replied but if he’d been with her, he’d easily tell she was a little shaken by the experience. 

“If you say so, Dora…” he teased and she laughed loudly, accidentally drawing more attention her way. “Can I take you out for a drink then?”

“Yeah, I’d like that. I’m currently in a sea of your most devoted followers though so I’ll need some help finding you.” 

He stayed on the phone as he guided her through the arena to the parking deck where he’d meet her shortly, only hanging up once she confirmed she was at the right car by reading his license plate number back to him. She scrolled through her phone while waiting but she felt eyes on her. She couldn’t help but be a little uncomfortable at the thought that these strangers knew Quinn’s car or at very least understood players would be emerging into this section of the parking garage. As a lifelong Vancouver resident, she obviously knew how hockey-obsessed her city was but she never thought much about these details.

She heard male voices approaching from the opposite direction of where she’d come so she tucked her phone in her purse. Quinn emerged with a tall blonde, their two heads bent together in serious conversation. When a young boy approached, they both paused, kneeling down to greet him and sign his jersey. They repeated the motion a few times before excusing themselves from the small crowd that had formed. 

“Hey! How’d you like the game?” Quinn asked, briefly pulling her in for a hug.

“I really liked the fighting until you were involved, then it was less fun” she admitted, smiling to greet Quinn’s companion. “I’m Theo.”

“Elias, good to meet you. Enjoy the rest of your night and maybe help Theo into your car before loading up, yeah?” Elias suggested and she felt her brows furrow. Quinn quickly glanced back towards the small group of people and her eyes followed his, noting that several phones were out and seemingly recording everything.

“Thanks man, drive safe” Quinn replied, placing his hand on the small of her back to guide her to the passenger side “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine” she replied despite her confusion and frazzledness. He must have seen it on her face though because he quickly unlocked the door and helped her in. A moment later he was in the driver’s seat, backing up and speeding through the parking deck. 

“I think this is the longest silence I’ve experienced in your presence” Quinn mused at the long, but not uncomfortable, quiet that had settled.

“I’m sorry that was just…”

“A lot? Too much? I can drop you off if you’ve changed your mind, I get it” he nervously filled in.

“Quinn, stop,” she laughed. “That’s not what I was going to say, it’s just a lot to process. I really thought you were trying to, like, gas yourself up when you said people wanted your signature daily but the girl you gave a puck to almost burst into tears afterwards” 

His cheeks flamed a deep crimson which she found wildly endearing, “Yeah, it’s a lot to process for me and it’s my life.” She took in his tired eyes and the dark circles beneath them. 

“Why don’t we go back to my place? I have a full bar cart and you seem like you could use some quiet” she offered. 

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Quinn, I extended the invitation, of course I’m sure. Just take the left at the next light.” 

She guided him through the city to her apartment, allowing silences to stretch while he seemingly decompressed from the game and its aftermath. Contrary to his initial impression, she was comfortable with quiet and enjoyed when someone’s company didn’t require constant banter and attention.

“Here, park in this spot, my neighbor’s away this week so no one will care if you're there.” 

He did as instructed and she went to open the car door, nearly knocking him with it, “Jesus, Quinn! Did you sprint over here? I can open the door myself, you know…”

“I didn’t sprint, I just moved quickly. And I know you can open the door, I just wanted to do it for you” he mumbled and she smiled at his nervousness. 

“Well, thanks and I'm sorry for almost injuring you. It seems like something that could really fuck with your job.” 

“Just a little” he chuckled, offering his hand to help her out of his truck. She took it, enjoying how warm and calloused his fingers felt against her own. He went to remove his grip but she squeezed his fingers in a silent request to keep holding on, which he did. 

“This is a great spot” he complimented as they rode the elevator up to her floor. “I guess the writing’s really working out?”

“I moved in about a year ago. I’d been doing pretty good but then my most recent book, the one your coworker recommended, kind of blew up. Which is great but also has made getting the sequel done a bit stressful” she admitted, reluctantly releasing his hand to unlock her door. 

“Why’s that? Wouldn’t the success kind of add to your confidence?”

“It did, for a little, but if this next one tanks then it just proves it was a fluke and then what?” she questioned, flicking on the lights. “Penny!” she called, squatting down to pet her beloved dog. 

Penny wiggled into her body, pushing her over and onto the floor making Theo chuckle. “Settle down, it’s only been a few hours.” 

“She’s beautiful” Quinn complimented from behind her, closing the door as he stepped inside. Penny was immediately investigating him, sniffing his hands as her tail wagged excitedly. “What a sweetie. You said her name’s Penny, right?”

“Yeah, short for Pennywise” Theo elaborated as she stood back up to slip her shoes off. 

“Of course, how silly of me to not make the connection” he chuckled. 

“I mean, I’m named after a horror novel character so I had to continue the family tradition with my own child” she explained, making her way towards the kitchen. 

“Are you really?” 

“Yeah, Theodora from Haunting of Hill House. Richie was named after Tozier in Stephen King’s It.” 

“That makes your choice of genre less surprising.” 

She laughed and shrugged, “What can I get you to drink?”

“Honestly? I don’t really drink, I just wanted to see you tonight since the game didn’t scare you off.” 

“I tried to tell you, I don’t scare easily,” she teased. “I don’t really drink either. Hot cocoa?” 

“Sounds great, thanks” he replied and she busied herself getting the ingredients together. “Seriously though, what did you think of the game?” 

“Like I said, it was fun until I worried you were hurt, then it was significantly less enjoyable” she answered, handing him a warm mug. “Want to hang in my library? Your book taste is questionable but I still think you’ll enjoy my collection.” 

“Why is my taste questionable?” he scoffed but followed her down the hall. 

“It’s just very…dude bro-y.” 

“How elegant” he teased and she rolled her eyes. 

“Maybe not elegant, but accurate, no?” 

“Whatever, Dora” he grumbled and she laughed.

“Is that going to be a thing? You call me by my least favorite nickname when I annoy you?”

“To be fair, it was you who offered that name up.” 

She sighed, sipping her drink and settling into the couch in her study. She watched as he slowly made his way around the room, every wall lined with books from floor to ceiling. “This room is incredible.” 

“Thanks” she beamed, genuinely thrilled at the compliment. “It’s kind of my pride and joy, aside from Penny, of course.” 

“I can tell,” he replied earnestly, settling beside her. “There has to be some nonfiction in here, right?” 

“Sure, if you’re into true crime, psychology, forensics, and/or mental health memoirs.” 

“I actually really enjoy psychology, it’s helped my game a lot.” 

“Really?” she asked and couldn’t hide the surprise from her tone which earned her a light glare. “I just meant that hockey seems much more physical than cerebral.”

“Oh it’s super mental actually” he argued and she nodded her encouragement for him to continue. “Okay so tonight for example. I didn’t have to drop my gloves and fight but doing so showed my team that I have their back and the other team that even though I’m smaller, they can’t push me around. Since I’m a quieter guy, I choose my actions carefully to kind of speak without speaking if that makes sense.”

“It does but you’re not small, silly. Not that it would matter even if you were but you’re not.” 

“I’m hockey small” he corrected and she didn’t know enough to argue. “Oh, another example. When a player is approaching the goal, they have to strategize what they can physically do while also anticipating the goalies expectations. Which is hard because the goalie is doing the same thing. So, it becomes really strategic in addition to the skill you need to play at this level.”

She nodded, genuinely intrigued by this new element of the game she watched tonight. He must have taken her silence for boredom because he quickly continued, “I’m sorry, I can be a bit of a hockey nerd.”

“Don’t be sorry, it honestly makes the game more interesting to me to think of it that way. Plus, I already knew you were a book nerd, what’s one more level of nerdiness?” 

He rolled his eyes and she laughed, lost in their deep blue. The air shifted between them, tension developing where there had been none. She set her mug down, eyes dipping to his lips and back up. She really wanted to know what his mouth would feel like against hers. 

“I come with a lot of baggage” he admitted quietly and she shrugged. 

“Don’t we all?” she asked, matching his quiet tone. She couldn’t help herself from raising a hand to gently trace the curve of his cheekbones. “I really like looking at you” she mumbled before she could think the comment through. 

He chuckled softly, covering her hand with his own, “I really like looking at you too, weirdo.” 

She grinned at his response, closing her eyes as his mouth finally met her own. 

A/N: Sorry for the cut to black, I'm debating if I want to continue with this OC so let me know what you think! It's my first OC in a very, very long time so sorry if the grammar is wonky in spots.

[libraford]

Every black friday, I think of when I worked for walmart before Amazon was a big deal and the only way to get certain electronics for dirt cheap was to line up at midnight and wait for one of us to unwrap the stacks.

Our strategy that year was misguided- people could line up and wait til 3am when we wheeled them out, but if you left the line for any reason youd have to go to the back of the line. We had a guard at each line to prevent people from cutting or getting into a fight.

They sent me to guard the $200 laptops.

People lined up at midnight. The rules were posted. Stand in line, do not move. Once the stack is open it's one per person.

After the first hour, attendees were starting to get pissy with me, a 20-something getting paid less than 10$ an hour, because they chose to wait three hours for a shitty hp laptop. At one point they started pointing at me and yelling 'hall monitor' which was ridiculous because- again, no one is forcing you to be here.

When the stack came out, they all rushed, the entire stock was gone in three minutes.

But it was done. And I could go back to stocking shelves. As I'm pulling a pallet of diapers from the back, a woman stops me. It is now 7am

"Where are the 100$ laptops that were being advertised?"

"I'm sorry, but those sold out within the first ten minutes."

She's furious. "Well! I guess my children will have to be STUPID in school, then."

And that stuck with me for a long time, and will stick with me for a long time, because in 2010, laptops were not a requirement for most schools and if you needed to type up a report for class you did what everyone else did and went to the library where you could do all this for free.

Anyways, this story didnt have much of a point apart from be nice to anyone working retail this season because most people shopping right now forget how to act right.

[nagislemontea]

Shanks & his Empress of Amazon Lily. 

Summary: Just as every former Empress of the Maiden Island had succumbed to a love sickness, you were not the exception. 

Idea: Shanks / Empress of Amazon Lily 

2594 words. 

After Shakky departed from Amazon Lily due to her love sickness, her position of power had fallen onto you. As the new Empress of the Kuja Tribe and the Captain of the Kuja Pirates, you upheld the image as the island’s pinnacle of womanhood. You were a rose that stood apart from the rest of the garden, though every rose has its thorns as well. You were respected, admired, yet also feared across the seas all the same. Creating a reputation as a notorious Pirate Empress created instances where individuals or groups were seen as fools to challenge someone so formidable, this current event in particular being one of them. 

The Kuja Pirates were presently docked at an island in the East Blue rich with agriculture, stocking up on a multitude of food supplies for the venture back towards Amazon Lily. Unfortunately for you, a particular red-haired captain and his crew happened to dock at a harbour on the other end of the island. This placed you in your current predicament, the stallholder felt nervous as he watched the two captains in anticipation, wondering whether he should intervene or not. You glared at the man in front of you as he did the same, both so thoroughly invested in intimidating the other for a fresh batch of lobster… Besides that, you knew of the captain standing in front of you to be Red-Hair Shanks. He was a pirate recently gaining more attention because of his battles against Marine Hunter, Dracule Mihawk. His trademark besides his striking red hair was the straw hat, shading the rugged look he had. 

Meanwhile, Shanks– while glaring at you– had been attentively observing the details of your face. Like you have heard about him, he has heard twice as much about you. He’s heard about your strength and accomplishments that have made you the threat you are today. Though he’s also heard about your beauty and grace, like a rose covered in thorns, prickling anyone that dares to cross you. He thought of you as a dangerous beauty, with your eyes as the most striking feature. Shanks imagined you’d make an amazing addition to his crew even if you already had one of your own, it couldn’t hurt to ask, right? But it did hurt to ask, just a little. He watched as the tension in your shoulders fell as a look of shock and confusion harboured your face, before bursting out into a fit of laughter, a pleasant mix of disbelief and amusement. Shanks felt rather flushed but quickly sank the feeling down as he took in the joy that was in your laugh. He found it endearing. So once again, he asked– not for you to join his crew– but for you to join him in walking around the island while gathering supplies. 

He watched as a flash of hesitancy crossed your face, but chose to wait for a verbal answer. You, after gaining quite a good laugh from the man, felt a slight pull towards him. You were intrigued by the enigma presented before you. The newspapers formed a rather serious and unapproachable impression of the red-haired captain, though it seems to be quite the opposite now. You wanted to take a walk with Shanks, but as a resident of a Maiden Island, particularly being its Empress, you weren’t expected to casually frolic with that of a man. However, when you thought back to the stories you had heard from your former Empress and her experiences with the man named Rayleigh, you wanted to see if you could experience the same. Shakky had described it as elating, unforgettable, yet a fleeting experience for a Pirate Empress tied down to their duties. So, you accepted his invitation. In response, he gave you a bright smile. One that stunned you in place as you took note of how his lips curled up into something so radiant. If anything, it was like the sun allowing the roses of its garden to thrive in its light. You felt your heart begin to blaze, though buried it deep as you fell into place beside him to walk through the village. It was at this instance, that both captains had completely forgotten about their competition over some lobster, and the duties that their crews required of them to complete. 

You found his presence to be freeing, there was no need for formalities. Shanks made that clear when he tried to amuse you with chopsticks in his nose, to which you walked away in response. You thought of the man as a fool, but a kind one. You noticed how he interacted with the children he came across, they all gleamed up at him with admiration despite his rising infamy as a pirate. You even noticed his subtle acts of service when he stopped a cart of fruits from spilling over without the villagers noticing, or when he ‘accidentally’ dropped a few coins for the man wishing to buy his child a dessert. He continued to smile ever so brightly, setting the whole island alight even as the sun began to descend. Shanks was a fool, you continued to think, but a charming one at that. You wondered if this is what Shakky experienced in her own time alongside Rayleigh, and if every single moment from today would continue to be something alike now. Surely not, life was not perfect. Though your eyes displayed such exuberance that made you want to cherish this experience and the others that may follow after this one, even if it was fleeting as you were once told. 

Shanks almost couldn’t remember the last time he felt that he could rest. Typically, he’d be more elated at gaining more acknowledgment as a pirate, though the attention from the Marines and the World Government had begun to weigh more on his crew. He could see it in their expressions, even on his own when faced with a mirror. Hence his crew was currently sailing around the East Blue to rest up, leading up to his current situation. As he stuck the chopsticks up his nostrils, he turned to you for your reaction. He took in the way you covered your mouth to stifle a laugh, your fingers creating an opening to see how your lips went up into a beautiful curve. Shanks felt pride in being able to make you smile at his foolishness, even when you walked away to hide your own amusement. You were a rose with thorns, but still possible to grasp as long as you gently pulled out its spikes. He watched as you interacted with the environment with such grace in each of your steps and inquisitiveness in the enchanting eyes you possessed. He noticed how you usually came to the villagers with questions regarding things you held curiosity for. You were fascinating yourself, but still so intrigued by the world around you that it urged him to show you more if possible. Shanks was quite aware of who you were, an Empress of the Maiden Island and notorious Captain of the Kuja Pirates. He’d assumed you already knew a vast amount of knowledge about the seas and more, so he wanted to help with things you might’ve not known about. Shanks would beam when he explained something and the way your eyes would gleam at the discovery of new information. You were indeed a rose that flourished in the sun even as it set on the horizon. 

As you parted ways with Shanks, you continued to stare back at the island aboard your ship, even as it became a minuscule block in your sight until it disappeared. Shakky was correct, it was a euphoric and unforgettable experience, though fleeting. Fortunately for you, this first meeting would not be the last. One year later, on an island in the Grand Line, you found yourself sitting beside the same red-haired captain. Only this time, he was without donning his straw hat and missing an arm. You took note of how his eyes held a new hope and how his personality only became increasingly charming the last you’d seen him. Though most of all, you noticed how his foolishness stayed present, despite seemingly becoming more serious in his role as Captain of the Red-Hair Pirates. The two of you chatted over a few drinks, ending with you inviting him to take a stroll around the island, to which he accepted with the same brilliant grin he decided to grace you with months ago. This became a daily occurance should you dock on the same island as Shanks, each conversation turning into a walk-and-talk around the archipelagos. Your crew, including his, noticed how every few islands their captains would disappear for hours, only to come back with their duties having been forgotten. Benn Beckman in particular, saw how every once in a while, Shanks would return with a more elated expression than usual, his mind elsewhere until Beckman would scold him for discarding his duties. Unbeknownst to his first-mate, he was only that ecstatic because of the time spent with you. He thought of you as a rose that he could hold without its thorns making him bleed. 

Though you both continued to hold your own goals as you two sailed across the seas, there were times where one would linger in the other's thoughts more often than not. This became apparent after Gloriosa noticed how you’d stare off into the sea every time she would address you in your sleeping chambers, as if you had something else you’d rather be thinking of. Your mind drifting off continued until Gloriosa returned with news regarding a new Emperor of the Sea, the mention of Shanks’ name had your head turning in a speed that startled even Gloriosa herself. Your elder stepped in beside you as your eyes gazed upon the paper with an image of the Red-Hair Pirates claiming their glory, taking note of how your hand lingered over the captain’s face. It had been long since your last meeting with the red-haired captain, longer than usual, and it may have tore away at your thoughts at times as you had come to enjoy his company. You thought of him as a sun that you allowed yourself the privilege to bask in without burning. Gloriosa, staring at you with suspicion, began a subtle interrogation on your connection to the Emperor. You were able to answer her questions without faltering until she had asked a rather forward one, did you hold feelings for Red-Hair Shanks? 

Without warning, Gloriosa watched as your face burst into a shade of deep red, almost the same shade as the mentioned man’s hair. Your lips parted multiple times to speak, yet your mouth ran dry at every attempt. Your gaze went everywhere but the paper that held the image of the red-haired captain, never letting your eyes linger for more than a second if it did. You felt the thumps of your heart making an attempt to burst out of your chest, your back falling against the sheets and taking deep breaths in an attempt to quell it. You felt warm, like the sun had invited itself into your room. You felt like you were burning, though unaware of the reason why. Normally, you disliked burning, though this felt more passionate and embracing, rather than the burning of an emotion like hatred. Gloriosa gaped at you with shock as she watched the same sickness she’s seen for generations overcome the current Empress of Amazon Lily. The elder ordered the concerned guards out of the room, fanning you with a nearby folding fan as you gathered your thoughts. As soon as you were able to sit back up, Gloriosa ordered you to listen to her carefully– that the sickness you had caught was not a joke. You’d thought her to be serious until she told you that you were in love, your face becoming warm yet again. You then allowed your mind once more to focus on Shanks. You thought him to be captivating. His smile, his charms, his foolishness, his warmth. These were only a few of the traits that you’ve come to admit that you admired so deeply. Gloriosa watched as your mind drifted off once again and sighed, leaving you to sort out your love sickness on your own.  

However, as soon as the elder had opened the doors to your chambers, a warrior had stumbled in with a rather frantic expression. The young woman’s gaze switched between you and Gloriosa, apologizing profusely for her interruption before reporting that there was a situation along the island’s coast. Upon hearing the urgency in her voice, you stood firm on your feet, the symptoms of your love sickness having disappeared for the time being. Immediately, you took your cloak as you headed out into the halls of your tower, commanding the warrior to report on more details of the issue. Apparently, there had been a break-in on the island and multiple groups were currently out looking for the perpetrator. Gloriosa followed closely behind the two of you, only halting in her step when you did. The older woman behind you watched on in horror as your breaths became shallow and the thumps in your heart began once more. Though you had felt warm inside of the walls of your room, you were sweltering now, holding yourself against a windowsill for balance support. Despite the condition you were dealing with, you continued to walk forwards. Ignoring the pleas of the two to rest, you only turned back when Gloriosa said you would not be able to handle the situation accordingly in your condition, cutting her off with a single look. As it was clear that you would deal with the perpetrator, you commanded the warrior to retract their forces as you headed out into the sun. 

You stared at the fool standing across from you with utter disbelief, before glaring at him as his head hung back from laughter. The red-headed captain was drenched from his swim across the Calm Belt, his black coat hung up to dry allowing you to admire the way his white button up presently clung to his skin. You observed every detail of the elation that he displayed, from the way his eyes crinkled expressing genuine joy to the way he held his hand to his stomach when laughing too hard. You took notice of every crease around his eyes, the veins on his hand reaching up to his arms. Even his tousled red hair that you’d be able to discern in any crowd. Everything. Though you’ve always believed it, you thought him to be more radiant than ever as the sun graced his figure as he stood before you. Meanwhile Shanks, as his laughing ceased, took in your grace as the roses around you seemed to flourish more than they did when he arrived. He thought you were more beautiful than the last he had seen you, just as flowers bloom when the sun has risen. He wanted to hear your voice, to see your smile, to have the privilege to hold you even if he is pricked by thorns. Shanks would bleed for you. You made no attempt to stop him when he embraced your figure, feeling the burning sensation in your body despite the water seeping from his clothes to yours. His warmth was welcoming and passionate, he is the sun that you would allow yourself to burn in. The sun had invited himself into your garden.  A/N: i suck at dialogue so i avoided it woo