#and now i have to sit here all day in proper clothes waiting for them to show up

[agayconcept]

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[written-in-flowers]

Model Behavior: YunHwaGi x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Seonghwa x Yunho x Mingi x fem!Reader | side pairing: ot8 x fem!reader

Word Count: 10k

Genre: Smut, smut, and more smut with a sprinkle of fluff on top | AU: sugar baby, idolverse

Summary: The newest episode of YNteez features you, the boys and a photoshoot. With all the risque outfits they've selected themselves, just how wholesome is this shoot going to be?

Tags: polycule, polyamorous, established relationship, sugar baby, blowjobs, sloppy blowjobs, deep throat, face fucking, face sitting, 69-position, male masturbation, teasing, orgasm denial, edging, light role play, oral sex, sex toys, squirting, pet names (baby, sweetheart, angel), slight free use, nipple play, peeping through windows, and group sex (foursome).

Previously on YNteez

****

Eight costumes. Eight sets. Eight times you'll have to change your outfit, hair and makeup over the course of three days. The exhaustion already started weighing on you, and nothing started yet. Standing in your private dressing room, you gazed at the rack of clothes in front of you. The producers told you the members picked the costumes themselves, so naturally the outfits are tailored to their taste. You looked at each of them while you waited on hair and makeup, and saw the different costumes the staff managed to procure. They certainly did not look cheap. You’d expected clearance rack outfits with flimsy fabric and lots of velcro and zippers. The current costume you held, an Animal Crossing character, was made of good material, your proper size, and could pass off as a real cosplay outfit. You put the costume on the rack, and turned to the large mirror behind you. 

You’d come to the set in a simple t-shirt and jeans, since you’d be changing three different times today. The stylists recommended you come as plain faced as possible, since any makeup you wore will be removed. The prospect of a photoshoot excited and worried you. The last time someone took photos of you, it’d been for your Companion portfolio. A photographer took a bunch of boudoir pictures with a few headshots thrown in to attract potential clients. You didn’t mind dressing down for a camera, since the outfits and makeup helped you hide behind them, but the photographer won’t be the only one present. A staff of at least twenty people will be filming, monitoring, adjusting, lighting, and observing your every move. The classroom episode was through hidden cameras, so there’d been only you and the boys. Now, there’d be people, which was different.

“There you are,” a voice said when the door opened. Seonghwa came walking into your dressing room, pecking your lips and looking over your face. “We’ve been looking for you.”

“The producers and stylists told me to wait here for them to show up with the cameras,” you replied. They mentioned interview moments during the episode to capture your thoughts and emotions. “Does it always take this long?”

He laughed, “Yeah, it does. It’s even worse for whoever is last in line to get their makeup and hair done. But, our stylists are fantastic, and I think you’ll love what they do with your looks. Minsu already showed me the look they’ll be giving you for my shoot.”

“What?” you said, disappointed. “Why did they show you and not me? It’s going on my face.”

“It’s supposed to be a secret, remember?” he said. He looked over to the clothing rack, then back at you with suspicion in his eyes, “Have you been looking in the clothing bags?”

“No,” you said innocently. “I would never spoil a surprise.”

“Mhm,” he remained unconvinced. He took a seat on a makeup chair next to yours, “I think I should stay here and, you know, supervise you. We don’t want you spoiling everything for yourself.”

You pouted, taking the seat in front of the vanity, “What about you? Don’t you have to get ready too?”

“I’m third in line,” he said. “They’re still working on Yunho.” He stared at you for a moment, then said, “Are you nervous?”

“A little bit,” you admitted. “I haven’t had my picture taken in a long time, and these aren’t like ‘normal’ photos either.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Oh come on. Me in skimpy outfits you guys personally picked out? On sets of your design and you control what sort of pictures we take? They’re not going to be exactly PG are they?”

“No, not at all,” he said with a laugh. “What I picked is pretty wholesome and simple,” he then smiled, “But I know a few members whose outfits are way more revealing than mine.”

“Like who?” you asked, wanting to suck a spoiler out of him. 

“Nope,” he shook his head, amused by your eagerness, “Not telling you. You’ll have to wait and see.”

“You won’t give me a little hint? A tiny one?” 

“You already know mine, since you looked in the clothing bag,” he accused with a grin. 

“I did not,” you lied. “I haven’t even touched those bags.”

“Liar,” he nudged your foot with his, “That zipper was all the way up when I left here. Now it’s like an inch or two down.”

“Is not. You’re remembering it wrong.”

Your insistence made him chuckle. “At least your shoot is going to be the course of three days,” he said, “Our shoots usually run all day.”

“Three of you today, three tomorrow, and the two after that,” you said, “I wonder why they did it that way?” you looked at him expectantly. 

“Have no idea,” he shrugged, pretending you didn’t notice him. 

“Not one?”

“Nope.”

You moved over to him, and took a seat in his lap. “Could it possibly be because certain members of this relationship won’t be able to contain themselves and might get a bit naughty with me?” you rested against him, fingers dancing on the collar of his shirt. “They might not be able to control themselves,” You heard him audibly inhale as you drew closer, “And let their natural instincts take over?”

“Maybe,” he put his hand on your thigh, giving it a small squeeze before bringing his lips an inch from yours, “But can you blame them? You know exactly what to do to tempt them, and you do it well.”

“I've had a lot of practice.”

The both of you kissed right as someone else entered the room. The stylists came in with their bags full of supplies, and the producer followed with a camera crew. Your hands suddenly felt clammy, and you wiped them on your jeans. Seonghwa noticed this and squeezed you again, but more affectionately than before. His reassuring grin relaxed you somewhat, yet seeing everyone setting up for the episode distracted you again. 

“Seonghwa,” the producer called to him, “We’re going to start filming now. The stylists next door wanted me to tell you they’re ready for you.”

“Alright,” he nodded. He pecked your cheek, then said, “See you out there.”

“See you.”

You’d know the KQ film production team for a long time, so they felt more like friends than colleagues. The clothing stylist, Juwon, came right over to you. Slender and narrow, Juwon never failed to make you drop-dead gorgeous with his outfit designs. He hugged and kissed both your cheeks when he spoke:

“Ready for today?”

“As ready as I can be, honestly,” you said. 

“Don’t worry,” he assured you, “Minsu and I are going to make you look absolutely divine. Those boys will be regretting their choices when they see you. Come on, let’s get you dressed.”

He took the bag with Seonghwa’s name tag on it, and opened it up. Inside, you saw the green plaid vest, white shirt, and a mini skirt. 

“Who is it?” you asked him, hoping he’d answer you. 

“It’s this character in that game he likes,” he answered you. “I have the lingerie that goes with it too.”

Behind the costume was the white mesh and lace lingerie set they’d sent you a month ago. The mesh parts went over your breasts, sex, and ass, but were bordered by lace designed strings. The matching stockings and garter belts were no doubt Seonghwa’s idea. Right away, you took the bag and went behind a curtain to change. You’ll have to do this two more times. How did models do it every day? You pulled on the lingerie, the belts, the stockings, and the costume itself. The outfit was snug on your skin, and you noticed the shirt and vest revealed way more cleavage than the original character. The skirt also goes high up your thighs so that any bending of your thighs or legs will lift it up further. Yes, very wholesome indeed. 

Seonghwa always liked leaving something to the imagination. 

“You look so cute!” Juwon cheered when he saw you. “Give us a twirl…Yes, excellent. It fits you perfectly, and isn’t too showy. Seonghwa said he wanted it to be sexy, but not so much that it ruined the illusion of the character.”

“He would say that,” you agreed. “He’s never liked me in lingerie that shows too much of my body. Mostly babydoll dresses or open front ones are good enough for him.”

“Ugh, you’re going to knock him dead,” Juwon awed, unable to look away from you. “That photobook is going to be priceless.”

Yes, you’d forgotten the photobook idea. You’d suggested it during a YNTEEZ meeting. Since they’re going to be doing it anyways, you thought about perhaps using the photos to make a photobook. Atinys can purchase them online and get special bonus gifts. You did give a small spoiler on your personal Instagram account where you’d promoted the group’s newest album; you mentioned their photobook and soon having one of your own, which intrigued a lot of people. 

“Yeah, I forgot the photobook. I hope people like the pictures though,” you said, knowing not everyone will be thrilled for you to be in the photos. They wanted shirtless Seonghwa, not a half-nude YN. 

“Oh come on, not all of them hate you,” the director assured you. “They’ll be into it.” 

You went over to Minsu next, who turned your chair around and pumped it to the right height. She smiled when your eyes met hers in the mirror. 

“You’re going to look fabulous today,” was her catchphrase whenever she worked on your face and hair. “Are you ready?”

“Ready,” you responded with a deep breath. “When was the last time I got this glammed up? KCon?”

“I think it was Global Dream Awards,” she answered, putting her makeup essentials on the counter, “When you wore that gorgeous purple gown. Ugh, I was so jealous of you. It looked amazing.”

“But it’s been a while since then,” you said, eyeing the materials on her counter. You then noticed an assistant taking out wig boxes from a container they’d wheeled into the room. “And plus there’s going to be loads of people in the room with us.”

“So?”

“One of the biggest points of these types of shows is the sex, and knowing my boys, it’s going to get steamy,” you felt knots already forming in your stomach. “I don’t think I can do that with so many people watching.”

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” she said, “You know that. Plus, you’ll have your boyfriends there, so you’ll be comfortable the entire time. You’ll get so wrapped up in each other, you won’t even notice the rest of us there.”

“I hope so.” 

“You’ll be fine,” she insisted. “Besides, today is only Seonghwa, Yunho, and Mingi. The sweeties,” she added a smile. 

“They're all sweeties.”

“Sweeties with a horny streak,” said Juwon from the clothing rack, searching for shoes in a box. 

Minsu then turned around to face you, moisturizer in hand. “Okay, let’s get you ready for your modeling debut.”

You laughed and rolled your eyes. She began prepping your face for makeup when the producer got the camera ready to film. Your nerves shivered inside you once you realized it was on by the red light in the camera. 

“YN, are you excited about today’s shoot?” he asked first. 

“I’m excited, but also a bit nervous. It’s been a while since I modeled for anyone before…”

His questions remained fairly innocuous. He asked you about your modeling experiences, which were very few and far in between, and if you’d made any guesses as to what the members have planned. You told him you guessed it’ll have to do with concepts they like or things they enjoy. Since the members will be part of the shoot, they will wear costumes similar to yours. 

When Minsu finished with your base makeup, she took out a face-paint palette and dipped a brush into the black section. Looking in the mirror, you noticed her covering the tip of your nose; then she dipped it into the white to start painting around your nose and mouth. 

Isabelle. You’re Isabelle from Animal Crossing, Seonghwa’s favorite comfort game. You only knew who she was because Seonghwa told you when you saw him playing. Your eldest boyfriend knew it so well, he could perfectly mimic their funny little language. When Minsu finished your makeup, she put your hair into a bald cap to prepare you for the wig. Short and blond, the bangs hung above at your eyebrows, and the rest of the hair fanned outwards in the back. Minsu attached a fake hair bun to the very top, tied there with a red ribbon with bells on it. You giggled as you moved your head, the little bells clinking in the process. They then attached yellow dog ears that drooped from the sides of your head. You trusted Minsu’s abilities enough that you knew they wouldn’t fall off. 

“Ah, you look so cute!” Minsu beamed. 

“Adorable!” Juwon agreed with a grin. “He’s going to love it.”

“It’s exactly as I pictured it in my head.”

“Thanks,” you grinned shyly. 

You hoped Seonghwa liked it most of all. You’d hate it if you went out there and the outfit isn’t what he envisioned for you. The camera then looked at you again. 

“How do you feel about this concept?” the producer asked you. 

“It’s very Seonghwa,” you laughed, admiring yourself in the mirror. “I knew he’d pick something he liked, but I’d guessed Star Wars since he likes that a lot. This is much cuter though.”

“Do you play Animal Crossing too?”

“Not that much,” you said. “I played it for a while when it first came out, but then I fell out of it. Seonghwa always tells me to play with him so we can visit each other’s islands,” you chuckled remembering the times he’d asked you so cutely to play with him, “And send gifts and stuff. I’m not as into it as he is, though.”

He turned when someone came into the dressing room to tell him they finished the members’ introduction to the episode. Funny. It’s your show, but they’re doing the intro. This didn’t bother you that much, and you followed them out onto the set. Minsu and Juwon kept you back from the rest of the group, putting you behind a curtain. Ahead of you, you saw staff members wheeling in a small stage. On it, you saw the familiar villager house from the game, a red triangle roof, cream colored walls and a red door. They’d done quite a good job with the set. It came with a bed of fake flowers, a mailbox, an apple tree beside the house, and the house was big enough for you to fit inside of. You spotted Seonghwa standing nearby while they finished putting things together. 

He'd never looked cuter. Seonghwa stood wearing an aqua and white floral shirt with khaki shorts with his nose painted and wearing pointed ears. You guessed he must be Tom Nook, a racoon character in the game. He looked sweet and adorable in his costume, but you know that can turn sexual at the flip of a coin.  

“Alright, YN, come on out,” the director called to you. 

Seonghwa’s eyes widened when you walked onto the set. They scanned you from top to bottom, and you smiled sweetly at him. He stood in awe of you, turning to the camera crew in disbelief, before looking back at you. You gave him a wide smile and said:

“Aw, you're the little bear guy!” 

Seonghwa held back a smile, “He's not a bear. He's a raccoon.”

“But isn't there already a raccoon? Raccoons are black and white, right?” 

“There is, but Tom is a brown one.”

“Eh, I still think he's a bear.” You hugged him around the middle, and he still embraced you, laughing with you. “A big bear with a cute nose.”

“He's a raccoon,” he squeezed you until you let out a small whine, then released you. He gave you a once over, then said, “You look so cute. It’s exactly how I imagined.”

“I’m happy you like it.” You glanced at the set, “Shall we go be the bear and the puppy?”

“He is a raccoon!” 

You giggled as you stepped onto the small set, and turned to the photographer nearby, “Hi, I'm YN.”

“I'm Nami, nice to meet you,” the photographer said, wearing a plain shirt and jeans. 

“Nice to meet you,” you replied. “Where do the bear and I start?-”

“-Tom is a raccoon!-”

“-We can start with some poses,” Nami laughed, “And we can do a few scene photos.”

“Okay, sounds good! What do you think, Tom?”

Seonghwa held back his laugh through a strained smile, hands on his hips, “That's fine.” 

Nami directed you both into the middle of the stage and the shoot began. It started with simple couple shots with lots of smiles, giggles and playful poses. You didn't know much about modeling, but years of doing promotional shoots made Seonghwa a natural. 

“Just be cute,” he said in one picture, where you both stood facing one another and pretending to rub your noses together. “Do cute faces and stuff like that, and you'll be fine.”

“Should I talk like they do too?” You teased when Nami finished taking photos of it. “How does it go? Meemeemoopmoop?”

“It does not sound like that at all,” he chortled. 

“Then how does it sound?” you giggled seeing his shy expression, and him turning away to the tiny house nearby. “Come on, do it,” you urged him, pouting and tugging his sleeve. “It’s cute when you do it.”

He let out a small stream of high-pitched squeaks that had you grinning widely. When he stopped due to his own laughter, he handed you a net. Small fake butterflies were stuck to the insides as if being caught, while his fishing pole had a multi-colored fish hanging from the hook. Nami directed him to take a seat on a bench by the house while you swish the net in the air pretending to catch butterflies. 

Having researched pin-up girl poses the previous night, you lifted one leg to your knee to show off the garter belts in Seonghwa’s direction. You could feel his eyes on you every time that skirt lifted up your thighs. Since you first met him, you knew Seonghwa preferred the more subtle suggestiveness. Flashes of cleavage or thighs grabbed his attention immediately, and he liked the baby doll dresses and bodysuit lingerie pieces you wore. Something skimpy, but not too showy. While you pretended to catch butterflies in various ways, Seonghwa sat there observing quietly. 

“Let’s have you both garden,” Nami said next after snapping close up and wide shots of the scene. “Just do whatever comes natural.”

You knelt beside a bed of fake colorful flowers, and Seonghwa took the space in front of you. He was standing with a pail and a small hand rake, while you pretended to be digging holes in the earth. This left you kneeling at his feet, looking up at him innocently while he stood over you. You kept your cleavage in full view for him, pulling and pushing down on the flowers in front of you. Nami’s camera clicked numerous times in a row as she captured the suggestive moment. Seeing him above you, his groin right above your head, you had the urge to grope him. He wasn’t the only one who enjoyed the innuendos going on at this shoot. You knew he picked this up when he knelt behind you, and bent down to your ear. 

“You must be getting pretty warm in that vest,” he said, hand going up your side to your chest. “Maybe you should take it off so you’re more comfortable?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” you asked, pretending as if you brushed into him by accident. 

“I’m only thinking about you,” he insisted, fingers getting closer to the buttons of your vest. “It’s supposed to be a sunny day on an island. Gardening can be hard work and Isabelle might get warm wearing a little vest like this one.”

“But Isabelle is so innocent and sweet,” you said, putting his hand closer to your breast. Suddenly, it didn’t matter that Nami stood a few feet away, taking photos of this intimate moment. “I don’t think she’d just shed off her clothes like that.”

“She would if she had a bit of help. Kneel up for me.”

You dropped the hand rake, and pressed your back to his chest. His lips left small kisses on your neck as he unbuttoned the vest. The moment he pulled it off you, you turned to Nami. 

“Is this good or do you want us to do something else?”

“The apple tree,” she said, picking up on what you were really asking. “YN, you can be getting some apples from high up, and Seonghwa can be giving you a little boost.”

“Makes sense for his bear character-” you said, forcing yourself to leave Seonghwa’s arms for the fake apple tree nearby. 

“-He’s a raccoon!-”

“-He looks like the kind of guy that would make his islanders do all the work while he just sits there in his little shop taking their money,” you continued, grabbing a wicker basket of fake red apples. “The little charlatan,” you gruffed. 

This made the crew laugh with you and Seonghwa. “How’s he a ‘charlatan’?”

He stood holding the small ladder, his face closer to your lower back. “First off, you pay to go on this big island getaway, which in the name implies you’re going for a short time and not the rest of your life-”

“-It’s meant to be an experience-”

“-An experience in what it feels like to be hoodwinked!” another statement that made everyone laugh. “He never tells you what exactly is going to happen on the island until you arrive,” you said, reaching up into the branches and letting Nami take a few shots. 

“He shows you a video of island life!” Seonghwa reasoned. 

“On the plane ride! When you have no choice to turn back or not.”

“Guys, it’s a video game,” chuckled Nami. “It’s not supposed to make sense.”

“She only does this to tease me,” Seonghwa said, pinching your ass lightly. “Little brat…”

“You know I’m right,” you arched your back so your bottom sat closer to his face, “Anyway, the video makes you think all that stuff is already available on the island, but when you get there, you only see a bunch of empty houses and a campsite. I know I’d feel duped if it was me.” You then whispered to one of the cameras, “I think the bear is a cult leader.”

“He’s not a cult leader, stop it,” Seonghwa smacked your ass over the skirt, which only made you laugh more. 

“Seonghwa doesn’t play when it comes to AC,” you joked with the crew, and earned yourself another smack. 

You suddenly gasped when Seonghwa cupped both your buttocks for a gentle squeeze through your underwear. Cold hands and warm lips briefly pushed out any more taunts you’d have about Seonghwa’s game. But, you wouldn’t let him win. You pretended to reach for one of the lower hanging apples, which gave him the opportunity to feel underneath briefly. You gave another fake gasp, though it brought more warmth to your underwear. 

“Then, he makes YOU build his island and make it cool,” you said, “And if you want to upgrade your island, you gotta pay him construction fees and stuff. Like, dude, it is supposed to be a getaway, not a construction job!” You dropped the apple into your basket. “That’s my hard earned money, so I don’t think I should be paying the guy who dropped me on a deserted island. I mean, what happens if I don’t make enough money to upgrade my shabby tent or house because I got tricked into staying there, hm?”

“I’m sure Tom would take other forms of payment too,” said Seonghwa, placing kisses on your lower back while he kneaded your cheeks. Your sex stirred when he started feeling underneath your pantyline, “Any kind you can think of.” 

You let out a fake gasp, “So that’s his plan! Trick innocent, pure souls onto his island, takes all their money which causes them to have to do favors to get what they need. Disgusting bear.” 

“That’s not why he’s doing it, and he’s a raccoon,” Seonghwa’s laugh was muffled by your shirt. “He wants to give you a nice experience,” he slid both sides of your underwear between your cheeks, “He is a good businessman who wants to build a nice island.”

“Where he can start his own weird, depraved sex cult,” you said, despite the warmth between your thighs. You knew Nami continued taking photos of Seonghwa groping and kissing your backside. You pretended to be shy, hand over your mouth and shock in your eyes. “Psh, jerk. Taking advantage of people looking to get away from their stressful, boring lives.” 

“Speaking of tiny island homes,” interrupted Nami, “I think we should get some shots of you inside the house, YN.”

“And what does Seonghwa do?” you asked her, climbing down back into Seonghwa’s arms. You felt him yearning to touch and kiss you again, but fiercely restraining himself. 

“Tom is going to be…safeguarding her house,” she suggested with a knowing smile. 

You knew immediately what that meant, and walked into the house with the basket. The roof sat about a foot above your head, made of wood with cut out flowers in a box at the window. It was very well made. You opened the door to find nothing inside except a bedroom backdrop against the opposite wall. The window itself was wide and tall enough that Nami’s camera captured your top half at the right angle. You looked over Seonghwa standing outside the window, and couldn’t help noticing the slight bulge in his pants. 

“Safeguarding her house, huh?” you asked, eyes on your boyfriend. 

“Tom cares about the safety of his islanders,” said Seonghwa, leaning against the window. “You are an assistant to the Island Representative, and it’s important you’re safe from bugs on the island.” 

“Oh, of course,” you said sarcastically, “I’m sure it has nothing to do with him being a greedy, corporate pervert.” 

You started unbuttoning the few buttons left on your shirt, pretending as if Seonghwa wasn’t there. Soft clicks of the camera told you that Nami was capturing every second frame by frame as you undressed. You let the shirt slide off you bit by bit until you tossed it aside, your bra fully exposed now. Seonghwa stared down at your chest, acting as if he was hiding behind a curtain outside your window. No doubt the real scene is Tom Nook spying on an unsuspecting Isabelle. You then pulled your bra straps down your shoulders, and tugged the bra down enough to reveal the tops of your breasts. Seonghwa bit his bottom lip as you gently massaged your chest in front of him; the lace fabric brushed on your nipples, which only made them harder. 

Since Atinys over nineteen can purchase a NSFW version of the photobook, Seonghwa was free to unzip his shorts. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him slide his hand into his pants. His soft groan told you he’d grabbed hold of himself and started stroking. The image of his long, thick shaft in his hand made you bite the inside of your lower lip. You kept massaging your breasts over your bra for him, not glancing his way. When you pulled your bra down to right against your nipples, both of them just barely visible, Seonghwa groaned. You thought of his cock already throbbing and leaking in his hand, and wished you could suck him dry. 

The scene continued until you wore nothing but the lingerie set. Seonghwa was already pumping himself faster, his back arching and eyes half-open and gazing at you, turning into an erotic sight. He finally came when you removed your bra and played with your nipples. You couldn’t help the deep, throbbing inside your panties. It begged you to go over to him, tug down his shorts and let him fuck you through the window. You listened to Seonghwa groaning, then huffing as his orgasm subsided and he slumped against the window frame. Nami asked for a few shots of him having a post-orgasm, which required him to tug down his shorts to show his wet cock. 

“Hwa…” you whimpered. God, you needed him right then. Simply doing it yourself wouldn’t work, not with his big cock so close by and needing to be cleaned with your tongue. 

“What is it, baby?” he asked, smirking as he stroked his softening length to make it glisten. “Are you horny too?” He laughed when you nodded, pleading with him. When Nami had enough shots, you expected him to bring you closer, but he didn’t. “I think we can wait until later, no?”

“But Seonghwa,” you pouted, finally pushing yourself as close as your little window allowed, “I’m so wet.” You reached for his hand and he pulled away. 

“You’ve been quite bratty today,” he smiled wickedly, smugness in his eyes. “I don’t think you deserve it right now. Plus, you have two more sets to do too. I don’t think it’s fair to keep Juwan and Minsu waiting on you.”

A punishment for dissing his favorite game. You huffed, pulling up your bra, “It’s not as if Yunho or Mingi will say no to me.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” he planted a quick kiss on your lips, and moved to walk away, “Have fun, angel. See you soon.” 

His response left dread in your stomach. You pulled on a robe Nami gave you, then went back to the dressing room as per the director’s instructions. 

****

Yunho’s set was a small bedroom of green and black. A full bed sat beside a wide computer desk with a two monitor setup, and a comfortable computer chair. Valorant and other various game posters were plastered on the walls, as well as figurines sitting around the computer. You quite liked it.  Being the biggest gamer of the group, you weren’t surprised by the oversized Valorant t-shirt and tight, green briefs that Juwon presented you with in the dressing room. Yunho dressed casually, in a long shirt and shorts with socks, but you still liked the plain, simple look. You couldn’t help staring at his long, lean figure from afar. 

“Look at you,” he smiled, seeing your hair up in a bun with cat-ear headphones around your neck. “Aren’t you cute?”

“You think so?” 

You walked into his arms, hands on his shoulders as he pecked your lips. Your arousal from the previous shoot died down significantly, but it didn’t go away. Seonghwa likely told Yunho about his photoshoot, and the two will conspire together to make it worse. If anything, he’ll convince Mingi to join him in the torture. You considered the three men to be your angels, your “white swans”. They’re usually the most gentle and sweetest when it comes to sex, and even more so outside of the bedroom. Not that the other five couldn’t be sweet, but their harder sides tended to come out in bed, while your white swans remained gentle throughout. Though, they can be equally mean. 

“Very cute,” he said, his large hands resting on your hips. “I like this simple style on you. You look so cozy and cute,” he nuzzled your nose softly. He then said in a whisper, “And there’s less for me to take off you.”

“Yuyu,” you laughed, cheeks burning. That was his special talent: making a simple phrase dirty. “Let’s get the shoot done.” 

Nami directed you both towards the desk, and it went how you expected it to go. You sat on Yunho’s lap, both of you given controllers to act as a gamer couple. When you realized the game on the screen was a Youtube video and the controllers weren’t connected, you let out a soft giggle. Yunho looked over at you quizzically. 

“What’s so funny, huh?” he poked your stomach, which made you laugh more. 

“This reminds me of that porno we watched the other night,” you said. 

You didn’t watch porn videos with your boyfriends often, but when you did, it was mainly Yunho with a toy nearby. The other night after dancing and drinking, you’d put on one you thought he might like. It featured three women “playing” a video game before the boyfriend of one of them appeared, and started fondling and teasing them. Yunho didn’t mind it until he noticed one minor detail. 

“The controllers weren’t on,” Yunho blurted out incredulously, and you laughed again. “They’re there moving the sticks and pressing buttons but the controllers weren’t even turned on.”

“Baby, considering it was an adult film, I don’t think it matters,” you replied. 

“They could have made an effort, is what I’m saying,” he defended. “The game was going on in the video even after they stopped playing.”

“Only you would make a fuss about that,” you chuckled, kissing him softly. “So, you’re telling me that if you ever fuck me during a game, you want me to be actually playing instead of pretending?”

“It’d be hot,” he shrugged, smirking at the suggestion. 

“Hm, good to know.”

You straddled his lap with your back to him, and put the headphones on your ears. Nami took this cue to start taking photos again. Yunho brought you to his chest, his head on your shoulder as he also matched your pose. You shifted around on his lap every so often to feel his cock through your shorts. The sensation of his bulge growing against your ass brought back all the arousal from before. 

“I’ve always wanted to do this with you, you know,” you said in his ear, kissing the spot underneath it. “I’m surprised we haven’t done it yet.”

“Done what?” he asked, but he knew what you meant. 

“Give you a blowjob while you were gaming,” you answered, grinding onto his lap until he let out a low growl. “But you’re always so focused, I doubt you’d notice I’m there.”

“Trust me,” he said, “I’d notice if I had your pretty lips wrapped around my dick. I wouldn’t be able to focus on the game.” 

“But you’re such a pro at it that you’d win anyways,” you smiled. “I bet you can do it with your eyes closed,” you whirled your hips around, “While you’re fucking my throat until you cum.” 

“Seonghwa left you very horny, didn’t he?” he chuckled. 

“And you do too,” you added, almost forgetting the camera clicking beside you. Reluctantly, you stood up from Yunho’s lap to see his bulge starting to poke a tent in his pants. “Clearly, I have the same effect on you” 

“Always,” he admitted. 

Walking over to the bed, you both laid against the pillows. Yunho took up a Nintendo Switch that you recognized to be his, and started playing a real game on it. A bit of realism, you supposed. You also realized he gave you the exact opportunity you just described. 

“You can’t ride me,” Yunho said, pressing the ‘start’ button. Mario Kart. The man’s playing Mario Kart in the middle of a photoshoot with you nearly naked beside him. “You can only use your mouth or hands.”

“But what about-”

“-Mouth or hands, YN,” he glanced at you to repeat the order, then went back to choosing his character. “Should I play Mario or Bowser? Bowser has a cooler car though…”

You lifted his shirt as high as his position allowed, showing the camera Yunho’s stomach. While he did work out, he didn’t have the sculpted abdomen of San or Mingi. Sliding your hand further up, you rubbed your thumb over one of his nipples, which you knew excited him just as much. 

“I like Peach the most,” you said, pinching his nipple softly and knowing what it’s doing to him. 

“That’s just because you like her car and she’s a princess,” he gave a snort as the game started. 

“I think she’s a relatable character,” you lied, lifting his shirt to kiss at his sternum. Straddling his thighs, you started playing with both nipples while kissing up and down his stomach. “She’s a young lady with a lot of responsibilities who is constantly sought after by various men in power.”

“You have a very strange take on video games,” Yunho laughed, “Like with Valorant.”

“I don’t get it,” you grunted, going further down his body to his shorts. Cupping the outline of his cock, you realized he didn’t wear boxers underneath. The heat radiated against your hand, and you felt it grow harder under your touch. “Is it there a storyline of some kind?” 

“Not really,” he answered, the sound of the buttons being the only sound between you. “You make matches with different characters and gain XP to get more.” He glanced at you for a brief second, “You’d hate it.”

“I like games with a story,” you shrugged. You slowly felt up his thighs with soft kisses and squeezes, the muscles flexing when you hit a sensitive spot. The thought of his length inches away made your mouth water. You started rocking your hips for any form of friction, your clit pulsating much like the cock so close to you. “It gives me an objective,” you lowered your voice as you hovered over his groin, “Something to focus on and work through.” 

Only one layer separates you and his dick. No doubt he’d done this strategically after Seonghwa told him about the Animal Crossing shoot. You traced your hand over the outline poking through the thin fabric, his stomach tensing when you felt his tip. His length growing, you grabbed it through his shorts once it started rising. Yunho clearly had trouble concentrating as you stroked him to a full erection with his own clothes; he bit his lip when you kissed back up his stomach to his sternum. Teasing your boyfriend dragged out your own arousal, which made you grind into the flat mattress underneath. Your entrance clenched for something to grab onto, but fluttered when nothing came. Simply toying with Yunho while he ignored you for a game had your clit throbbing for his attention. You sat up and removed the shirt to reveal a dark green bra underneath. Everything inside you screamed to reach for his hand after you took off the bra, but he needed them to hold his console. Instead, you laid back on top of him and made sure his clothed hardon nestled between your thighs. 

“I don’t get the appeal of it though,” you said, sliding his shirt further up to take a nipple in your mouth. The soft flesh hardened once more and you heard Yunho intake a breath sharply. “You’re just shooting other people. It gets boring,” You made sure he felt your own nipples dragging up his stomach as you took the other nipple in your mouth. If only you had clamps to put on them; Yunho enjoyed that more than the others. “Can’t be that hard.”

He chuckled through a moan, shifting when you nipped at one with your teeth. “It is,” he replied. “You have to concentrate a lot, and be good at aiming. It’s not the game’s fault you suck at aiming.”

“I suck a lot of things,” you said, swirling your tongue around a nipple, “But aiming isn’t one of them.”

Were there not a whole staff of people and a photographer nearby, Yunho would’ve put the switch aside and rolled you onto your back. 

“I beat you in every match when you’ve attempted to play,” he said, playing another round of Mario Kart. 

“Because you have more experience than me,” you pouted, starting to kiss back down his body once more. Yunho paused the game to remove his shirt, since his cheeks and neck started to flush. Atinys would love this just as much as you. “So, it’s not fair.”

“Maybe when we get home, I can teach you how to play properly,” he suggested, “Since your approach to video games is ‘figure it out as I play’. Tutorials be damned.”

“Tutorials take the fun out of it,” you giggled. 

Yunho moaned once you pulled off his shorts, and took his cock in your hand. You realized he’d stopped playing, watching you as you started licking up his shaft to his tip. A part of you knew that this photobook is really for Atinys who’d want to see the members naked, so your naked body won’t be the focus of the photos. Even then, you saw Nami hovering to take photos of Yunho’s lust filled eyes and parted lips. You knew you’d love these photos as much as the fans. Stroking him lightly, you went back up his body to the base of his neck. Yunho’s long neck always looked pretty with hickies against the peachy skin. You sucked on the tender flesh as he started grinding into your hand. He clawed at the sheets underneath you both, eager to touch you but forcing himself to stay still. Good.

“Don’t you want to touch me, Yuyu?” you whined, “I love it when you touch me with those big hands of yours.” You kissed up his neck to his ear, giving it a soft nibble before saying, “When you grab my breasts while you’re pounding me into your bed…When you finger me…When you slide them into my mouth like this…” you took one hand and put two long digits in your mouth, humming softly. 

“Tease,” he chuckled through gritted teeth, removing his thumb to trace your bottom lip. “You know I do. But, I think I’m pretty okay with you touching me.” 

You went back down to his crotch where his cock started bumping against his lower stomach. Giving it a long, flat lick from bottom to top, you brought the reddening tip into your mouth. His dick throbbing on your tongue, pre-cum starting to slowly leak out, you imagined his tongue languidly rolling around your clit. Moving your hand in time with your mouth, giving soft squeezes right to the tip to make him groan, you thought of his mouth latched to your pussy. Lips would be wrapped around your clit as he suckled it gently, every groan vibrating against your clitoris. You pictured his hands grasping your buttocks, squeezing and spanking them lightly as his tongue lashes at your sex. When you felt yourself grinding against the mattress, you started riding the sensation as you pushed him to the back of your throat. Your moans rumbled in your throat, cut off and gagged by his thick tip. 

"Fuck, baby," Yunho moaned, hands sliding into your hair just to touch a part of you, "Fuck, yes, just like that." His encouragement made you let out a pitiful moan. When he looked down to see you humping the bed, he chuckled. "I bet you're absolutely aching down there, huh?" 

“Mmm-hmm,” you gave a muffled reply that you made sure he felt. 

“Let me see.”

You knelt up from your position and pulled down both shorts and panties. Yunho’s eyes, half-open and driven by lust, zeroed in between your thighs. He reached down to the pool of wetness nestled in your folds, spreading it around your lips and clit as you squirmed in place. Shifting positions so his head rested at the side of the bed, you knew this new position gave Nami a glimpse of your aching center inches from Yunho’s mouth. Gentle hands smoothed up and down your back as you continued sucking him again. 

“I can’t stand to see my kitten like this,” he purred, kissing your inner thigh. “I hate leaving you wanting more.”

“Yunho, please…” you whimpered, knowing better than to rest your hips right on his face even if you wanted to. 

You clutched his thigh the moment you felt his tongue on you. In this angle, Atinys will see Yunho’s expert mouth skills while also seeing his tongue glistening from spit and your juices. You were still aware enough to pull off him, jerk his wet cock a few times for the light and camera to capture it. Yunho kept his licking light and teasing, but that was enough to drive you wild. After a few more licks, you started shuddering and quaking on top of him. Sensing your orgasm approaching, Yunho pulled your lips apart and focused directly on your clit. Sparks of sensitivity joined the tightness threatening to explode any moment. After a few deep grunts and groans, Yunho forced himself deep into your throat as thick, hot cum shot from the tip. Taking it slow, you breathed through your nose to avoid suffocation and quickly swallowed the oozing substance. You made sure to eventually pull away for shots of cum leaking from the head and in between the slit to his shaft. Yunho always came a lot when you had sex. Mostly because he didn’t pursue you as much as other members, preferring to save sex for special moments instead. Not that you minded. You swallowed every drop regardless of how much it was. 

Yet, he pulled you off once he finished. The phantom sensation of his tongue lingered, but quickly disappeared. A frustrated whine escaped you once again. “Yuyu!” you pouted, shaking on the bed to try tempting him, “I didn’t finish.”

“I didn’t say you would,” he breathed, smirking at your desperation. He leaned over to you, kissing you deeply, “Don’t worry. Mingi’s next,” he muttered to you, giving you the shirt to throw on over your naked body, “And he never refuses,you anything.” 

“How do you know?” 

“He’s been watching this whole time,” he shifted his eyes to the corner where you’d entered through. In the darkness, you could almost make out a shape hiding behind the curtain. Seeing a glimpse of an arm, you guessed it might be him. “And I know he’s rock hard by now.”  

“I would imagine so,” you replied, spreading your legs slightly in his direction. “Is it slutty of me to say that I can’t wait for it?” 

The figure shifted around when you said it within earshot. 

“Very slutty,” Yunho answered, kissing your cheek, “But we like that.” 

“What’s his theme?”

“Can’t tell you.”

“A hint then?”

“Nope. Now, get back to the dressing room,” he said, nuzzling your neck until you giggled. “Before I get tempted and start teasing you again. Mingi’s waiting.” 

The both of you laughed, but you still forced yourself off the bed and out of his embrace. Anyone else might feel embarrassed by what just happened, but you only worried about the taste still in your mouth. Nothing a lemonade cup doesn’t fix. 

***

You smiled widely at the pastel pink crop top and white shorts waiting in the dressing room. Juwon said Mingi chose a pastel kawaii appearance for you, since he always likes your ‘cute’ outfits. Juwon dressed you in the outfit, complete with white tennis shoes and rainbow knee-high socks while Minsu added heavy blush on your cheeks and faded lip gloss. She made your eyes appear larger, made your nose smaller, adding freckles shaped like stars and a little heart jewel to your makeup. Hair clipped back, they added pink and purple with Pusheen hair clips. 

It was utterly and sickeningly adorable. You never felt cuter, and the set amplified your appearance somehow. Walls painted bright yellow, the fluffy carpet matched the purple and yellow bed dotted with strawberries and strawberry milk cartons. Several squishmallow plushies covered the headboard, and you didn’t stop yourself from diving into them. 

“Can I keep these?!” you asked, hugging a birthday-themed Pusheen plushie, “Ah, I want them all.”

“We’ll see,” said the director. 

You already started deciding which ones you’d be stuffing in your duffle bag when you noticed something tucked underneath the stuffed toys. Pulling it out, you saw it was a basic porn magazine. A half-naked woman knelt in front of white backdrop, giving you a seductive expression. You flipped through it to see more naked women in various poses, and wondered what it could be for until you saw the rabbit vibrator sitting underneath a boba-tea shaped plush toy. You laughed, turning on the pink and translucent toy to feel it vibrate in your hand. Mingi will want to use it, and that makes you hornier. 

“I’m guessing you like it then?” Nami asked, approaching the stage. 

“I do,” you grinned, picking up a Pusheen sushi plush, “I knew Mingi’s would be something cute. He always says he likes my ‘cute side’.” Yes, you’re taking sushi Pusheen. 

“He was very descriptive in what he wanted,” she told you. “He even picked out the plushies on the bed. He said he wanted it to be ‘realistic’ to your tastes.”

“Does that include the toy and porn mag?” The two of you laughed. 

You wondered how long this innocence will last before his boner takes over. “Do you consider Mingi a cute person?” asked a producer. 

“Very,” you smiled, nodding as you held a Hello-Kitty angel plush. “I know on stage he’s all sexy and intimidating, doing all his hip thrusts and expressions, but in real life, he’s an angel. He always cares about others, sometimes more than himself, and he’s so loving.” It brought on a bout of sadness, knowing the internal struggles Mingi feels on occasion. The time he’d taken a hiatus for his mental health scared you the most, since you’d seen it bring him to his lowest point. It made your heart ache. “Ever since I met him, he’s told me he wants to be someone I can lean on when I’m sad. He heard from other idols that Companions can have it rough because of their idols’ schedules or that they have to manage multiple members, and he worried about me. So, yes, he’s a very sweet person.” 

Though, you didn’t mention that your sweetheart had a dirty side. Yes, he could be submissive at times, but not always. Seeing your outfit and the set, Mingi wanted to corrupt his cute kitten. The thought alone made your clit pulse again. When Mingi came out, you weren’t surprised. In a sleeveless black shirt, baggy black pants, with several chains and rings, Mingi dressed up as the bad boy to your innocent character. Seeing his muscled arms and sides made you shudder; the sight of his rings had your thighs clenching. He came right over to you, unable to focus on anything but you on the bed.

“You look so pretty,” he said between kisses, “Much prettier than I thought.”

“Thanks,” you beamed, giving a sweet smile. “Why this?”

“Because,” he kissed you again, sitting down and bringing you into his arms, “Ever since that classroom shoot I haven’t stopped thinking about you like this.” He cupped your chin, looking over your blush and freckles, “A sweet, innocent girl who's secretly a total slut.” You shuddered when he kissed your neck, starting at the top by your ear and going down, “Who watches porn and plays with herself all the time.” 

“And you’ll be the tough guy who catches me?” You guessed, knowing it was a fantasy of his.

“Yeah,” he answered. “Who else would I be, hm?”

“I think we should get started now,” said Nami, setting up her camera again. “Mingi, you could go by the door and pretend you’re peeking in her room. YN, you can pull out the mag and just do what comes natural to you.”

Your arousal reigniting, you didn’t hesitate to open the magazine to a random page and spread your legs apart. Nami got full shots of the scene, capturing Mingi poking his head in the door to watch you. You grabbed the vibrator to slide up and down your clothed sex, only just feeling the head cast over your slit over and over. You whined at the tight sensations coming back to you. The woman in the photo was in a bathtub, rose petals clinging to her wet, soapy skin, as she delicately touched herself. It reminded you of the times Mingi caught you in a bathtub or a shower. You learned quickly he liked the “catching-you-in-the-act” scenario, and you sometimes did it just to tease him.

Nami then instructed Mingi to open the door and look at you in shock, and you did the same thing. A few shots later, Mingi is on the side of the bed and holding the toy. The magazine opened to a new page beside you, neither of you paid attention to it as he slid off the shorts to reveal your soaked panties. Pure white, the cotton fabric did nothing to hide your wetness and Mingi licked his lips.

“Naughty,” he said, kissing from your chest to your neck, “Did Seonghwa and Yunho get you that worked up?”

“Yes,” you whimpered, savoring the feeling of his lips on your skin. You looked down to see him lazily slide the toy up and down between your legs. “God, I wanna cum so badly.”

“I know, baby,” he stopped the teasing to lift your shirt over your breasts, “And we’ll get there soon. Don’t worry.”

You kept an innocent face as he pulled down your bra to reveal your tits. Nami took shots of him sucking the hard nubs; Mingi made sure she saw his tongue flicking and swirling around them after every suckle. You couldn’t stop yourself from wriggling underneath him. Everything leading up to the point inflated the balloon waiting to burst inside you. Their touches. Their kisses. It all sent you spiraling, and you didn’t care about the crew watching nearby. You didn’t care if this turned into softcore porn for Atinys to enjoy. You only cared about Mingi using his lips and his toy on you before fucking you himself. 

“Mingi,” you cried, “Put it in me, please.” 

“Soon,” he promised, “You’ll get it soon. Here…”

He turned on the vibrator and pressed it to one of your nipples. The tip tickled the supple skin and sent sparks through the center. He gently swished it over each one until you were writhing on the bed. You thought you might finish right there before he suddenly stopped. He chuckled at your pathetic mewling, then removed his shirt. His body, well defined, was mouthwatering. Reaching forward, you brought him close to kiss him deeply. It gave you an excuse to feel his soft muscles and smooth skin.

“Stroke me,” he murmured as he unzipped his pants.

He didn’t need to say it twice. He knelt beside you so you could easily withdraw him from his boxers. Already rock hard, it sprung out once you pulled them down and you instantly took hold of him. A low groan escaped him as you began lightly stroking him. Atinys said they loved his size, and so did you. After stroking him for a short while, envisioning it buried hilt-deep inside, you blinked up at him innocently.

“Oppa,” you said innocently, “Can I put it in my mouth like in class? I really like doing it now, and Mr. Jeong says I’ve gotten better.”

“Yes,” he breathed, eyes full of lust and focused on you. “Go ahead.”

Slowly, you slipped his tip into your mouth. Nami took photos of his euphoric expression, catching closeups of your lips around his length and his muscles tensing from the pleasure. You’d almost forgotten her and the crew in the heat of the moment. Something in you wanted to be more impressive than usual. Sliding him further into your mouth, you stayed flushed to him to keep his cock near your throat. Mingi groaned deeply at this, unable to stop his hips from pushing forward. The toy in his hand went back to your pussy, the distance only putting the tip against you. He only broke away from you to pull down your panties, exposing your dripping sex to the camera. Once he was back, you continued working him with both your hand and mouth. Twisting your hand in every stroke drove him crazy, and he rapidly rubbed the toy over your pussy so you moaned around him.

“Just like that,” he huffed, “Just like in class. You’re doing such a good job.”

“I’ve been practicing,” you said, playing along as you licked his dripping tip.

“Oh yeah?” he chuckled, tapping it on your tongue before pushing back inside. “With the other guys?” You nodded, and he grinned. “Slutty girl,” he forced himself deep in your throat to gag you, “We’ve got you well trained, don’t we?”

“Yes,” you coughed, “I can’t stop touching myself now.” You slobbered over his tip, making sure the clicking camera caught it, “It’s all I think about. All I want is your cocks deep inside me,” you gave a whimper before putting him back in.

“I’ll remember that for our next class,” he said, putting the toy on your stomach, “So you can show everyone what you’ve learned. Like how you use toys. Put this in there for me, and show me how you use it.”

You didn’t hesitate to grab the rabbit toy and push the tip inside. Moaning around his width, you slid the vibrating toy in and out of your tightness. The light buzzing joined your muffled moans; the rabbit ears continuously pressed to your aching clit while the curved tip pushed on your g-spot. Mingi muttered occasional encouragement and praise as you let your pleasure fully take over. At one point, you held it inside, causing your legs to lift and quake from the sensations overpowering you. It moved to the pulsing of your walls, and you nearly came hands-free.

“No, no, no,” Mingi said, removing the toy and smiling when you whined, “You don’t get to cum before me. This is all for me,” he rubbed your throbbing clit with his hand, rapidly moving it side to side, “This is meant to pleasure me, not you.”

“Mingi!”

“Keep sucking my dick,” he ordered, shoving himself back inside, “And fucking your pussy.”

A bit more forceful this time, you relished in the change as you obeyed his command. The both of you watched the other come undone. The sweetness Mingi was known for shed entirely, turning into a hard dom who’d edge you as long as he liked. You still hadn’t gotten the complete hang of it, even after a few practice sessions with Hongjoong. You knew once that orgasm approached, you’d chase it down. With Mingi fully fucking your mouth, it was only a matter of time. The buzzing on your cunt and his length penetrating your throat, you started shaking and moaning louder.

“Stop,” he said, reaching around to take the toy from you. You kicked your feet and cried, though this was muffled by the dick in your mouth. “I don’t care,” he replied, hearing your protest, “I haven’t finished yet. Make me cum and I’ll think about letting you finish.”

You did what you knew he liked: working the tip with your tongue. Each time he slid in or out, you made sure your tongue grazed the wrinkled underside of the head. It had been when he leaned forward for a different angle that the bed dipped on either side of you.

“Look how pretty our little dongsaeng is,” cooed Seonghwa, pushing stray hairs from your temples. “She takes it so well, doesn’t she?”

“Every time,” Yunho answered, grabbing the rabbit toy. He turned it back on and put it close to your clit. “I give her private lessons, and she’s always so good for me.”

“I should join,” he replied. “I could use the practice and you know she loves more than one.”

“Fuck, I’m so close,” Mingi panted, not showing you any mercy as he choked you with his cock in different intervals. “I’m so close. Keep sucking me like that, just like that.”

He kept your cries muffled as Yunho pushed the toy back inside you. Moving tortuously slow, you shook and twitched to the teasing sensation. Even at this speed, you felt yourself close to your orgasm.

“Make him cum, YN-ssi,” Yunho said, “Make him cum in your throat like you do with me. I know how much you love it.” He gradually picked up the pace, “Our sweet YN loves cum.”

You did and you hated that they knew that. Soon, Mingi gripped the headboard tightly as he hunched over. Muscles tight and hard in their constriction, he shuddered as he came. Thick, hot and slightly tangy, Mingi’s cum filled your mouth and throat. You swallowed what you could manage before he withdrew, strings of it coming out with him. Nami grabbed photos of those when the other two moved away to give her space.

When Mingi finally dismounted, the other two converged on you. Seonghwa licked and sucked on your breasts while Yunho kept your legs wide open for the toy.

“Go on, baby,” Seonghwa groaned, “You can cum now. You’ve been such a good slut; you deserve it.”

“Yo-you promise?”

“We promise,” Yunho said, not holding back with the toy, “We want to see you cum for us. You look so pretty when you do.”

Streams of curses escaped you as your orgasm finally hit. All the pressure inside you came out in small uncontrollable spurts. Their constant praises and light touches only helped you along. You thought it might go on forever, and you wanted it to, chasing it down by pushing into the toy. The vibrating ears suddenly spiked your sensitive clit, making you close your legs before Yunho forced them back open. He didn’t stop despite the little sparks radiating inside. 

“Aw, look at the little mess you made,” Seonghwa grinned, nuzzling your cheek. “You’re leaking all over.”

“Someone should clean that up,” said Yunho, who didn’t hesitate to start licking the trails leaking out of you. Nami took the opportunity to get a few quick shots.

You let out soft cries as Mingi and Yunho took turns lapping and sucking up your juices. As Seonghwa gently soothed you, a part of you wished the crew would leave you with them. They’d gotten their pictures and shots. They could go now.

“How about we continue this at home, hm?” Seonghwa suggested as he kissed your cheek. “You’re more comfortable there and we’d be alone.”

“Please,” you said, finally taking in the people there. You didn’t think you’d feel this way afterwards. Heat filling your cheeks, you sort of hid in his shoulder which made the three men laugh softly.

“Now is when you’re shy?” he teased, kissing your temple. “Come on. We’re done here.”

They properly cleaned you with warm, damp towels given to them by the staff, giving you more praise and kisses as they went. Juwon brought over a robe and comfortable clothes for you. This felt different from the previous episode, since then there’d been no staff watching you together. It almost killed the bliss currently coming over you. Even if they weren’t, you imagined some seeing you differently now that they’d seen what you’re like in bed. A part of you wondered, as you got into the van an hour later, if you’d end up regretting this decision. It hit you that people would be seeing most of the photos, and watching the episode. You liked to think the staff would make it tasteful and not so graphic, since they’d done that with the classroom episode. But, the point of Companion shows was the sex; it was the main focus that drew people 19 and over in.

“Come here,” Yunho brought you into his arms once you arrived home, kissing your neck and lifting your shirt.

Clothes ended up on the floor leading to his bedroom, where the three of them cornered you on the bed. Soon, the four of you were whimpering, moaning and groaning as you tangled in each other. You couldn’t get enough of each man. You rarely felt so desperate for their touches before. By the time it was over, you became a pile of sweaty, panting puddles on Yunho’s bed. Curling up close to him, his arm around your waist and nose buried in your hair, you slowly fell asleep. 

You couldn’t think of a better place to be. 

****

Y/N: heeeeey been a while since I did one of these! God, can anyone stop these folks from getting it on?? No, and nobody wants to either! I hope you guys liked this one, and reblog/like <3

[cherie-doll]

>-< Im real nervous for asking but could I get the cod men's reaction to their s/o surprising them with lingerie?

aw, don't be shy, your asks are welcome ^^ hope i didn't disappoint !!

COD men reacting to you surprising them with lingerie

༢ུ· Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves, Makarov, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto (suggestive duh)

༢ུ࿓ You don't have to be sugarcoating yourself for Price to want to delve into his dark thoughts. Anything that makes him feel relaxed and melt the day's tension is almost enough to have him want you in some form or way. But you going the extra mile for him screams for him to just take you already, translating your every body language like it's a lost tongue only he can speak and understand better.

༢ུ࿓ Simon not even registering what you're wearing but what you're not. What is this open invitation you've extended out to him? He knows all to well the gestures you pull to capture him and toy around with him. The moderation he almost never puts to practice, all of it dissolving when he pulls back to admire your beauty and how much of a slave he's become to it. With a touch or gaze that changes him instantly from intimidating to easily conquerable.

༢ུ࿓ Johnny feels as if you're leading him in, leaving him hanging on a string as he's overtaken by this tense sensation that he leaves it up to you to break him in. His tongue so tangled that he can't express any thought running through his mind, leaving him to resort to sputter pathetic phrases. He's all dizzy with infatuation that the ache isn't painful but more like a welcoming comfort he savors like an aftertaste all night.

༢ུ࿓ Yeah, it's cute and funny and provocative until it has Kyle's knees weaking and his heart beating fast. All vocabulary used to express will leave him for the next few minutes and only his eyes will communicate the danger that is there and inviting. It's tantalizing and possibly making him want to go crazy with all the thoughts now swarming and going berserk inside his head of everything he wants to do to you. Anything that will make him feel alive and press that soft body of yours hard against him.

༢ུ࿓ Roach hadn't the slightest idea on what to do. It's as if his system stopped working and not a single thought could form coherently as he felt his blood rush. A shiver like a strong current dispelled throughout his body, his veins rushing with hot blood. He almost stumbled backwards, halted in his steps and already felt his neck collar become tight. He knew what he wanted to do, what he'd fantasized about, the whispering of his needs. You knew he wanted to so he only kneeled down, asking you to tell him what to do.

༢ུ࿓ Alejandro has been waiting for this day (or night) like you've got no idea. He's already grabbing you by the hair and pulling towards him. You can barely keep up as one minute he's baring your neck, pressing hot kissed to your face, jawline, neck down to your chest and everywhere it's like he's worshipping you. And it feels like it's only proper, as you look so ethereal sitting there all made up like that. But he's about to undo you just to be able to seep into your crevices and leave you a mess.

༢ུ࿓ Rudy was breathless seeing how beautifully clad you were in those clothes. He felt so incredibly lucky to behold you in this moment, felt so incredibly blessed that he couldn't even bring himself to touch you. His hands would hover over you even after he's gazed deeply into your eyes and you could already see the haze take over. His eyes not knowing where to look or how to focus. You took his hands gently and placed them on you, guiding them to where he felt he could take lead and continue.

༢ུ࿓ Phillip would open the door to find this delightful surprise. Crossing his arms and leaning against the doorway as you feel his eyes run over your body, admiring it like art in a museum. You better lie back because his hands are already fiddling with his belt. From here on your words will fall in italics as your breath shatters into a million pieces inside your throat, barely being able to form a sentence. Your one word responses and exclaims stimulating him, stirring him to go on like encouraging words that do nothing but stroke his ego.

༢ུ࿓ Makarov will remind you in six different ways why you shouldn't ever pull out a lingerie set unless you're ready to go limp. You wanna kiss and make out hard? He'll leave all kinds of marks and abrasions on your skin that read like tattoos and are reminders of how down bad he can get. You honestly don't know who controls who, on nights like these where any movement, any subtle change of pace, or sudden jerk and bolt will have immediate effect.

༢ུ࿓ Keegan that on the surface seems to hold such restraint as to let his gaze slowly, and very slowly observe you. He's impatient, but doesn't want to break the surface tension right away, ruin this perfect moment he's envisioned much too many times that he's almost got a script. His deep eyes darkening with menace as he comes closer, holding captive your eyes to his lustful gaze. It's as if you've stopped breathing as he looks down at you, making that heavy burning feeling really make an effect.

༢ུ࿓ You've got König bringing honor to his nickname. That beastly battering ram feeling the strong and sudden urge to dim the lights and slam right into you. You're giving him a loose rein and he'll use it, no more feeling of a rope burn restraining him. His heavy, heaving body already hooked on yours and merciless as to soullessly devour you whole. He's unable to control as if on a drug that'll leave him spent afterwards.

༢ུ࿓ Horangi barely has the patience to hold a conversation and barely to come up with and say something clever. Whatever he's saying, because you're not paying attention to that, is being said through clenched teeth as he grins wildly, almost uncontrollably. The mattress was sinking under his weight and the his musk that already had you dizzy made you reach out and grab him from around his neck, pulling yourself towards him instead of waiting for him to crawl towards you.

༢ུ࿓ Nikto knows how you like to lure him, tempt him towards you. And this intensity is what eventually has him in your arms every time despite saying he's tired. It's almost what he looks towards after a hard day's work, his reward, his sinful honey to secretly enjoy from. He'll throw his judgement to the wind and instead throw his body into it, nothing going through his mind but keeping a consistent movement until he's falling onto you, cursing that red fabric for making him like this.

[lumiambrose]

✰ house rules

kinktober 24 - day five

featuring: dr ratio x f!reader

summary: veritas ratio, your university professor, is renowned for being the greatest lecturer at your university but also the cruellest, willing to fail any student who doesn't meet his high standard. so you can't help but try your luck for some "extra credit" when you run with said professor on a night out with your girlfriends.

tags: smut, professor x student dynamic, public/semi-public, fingering, oral (fem receiving) petnames (dear)

wc: 1k

the poker table hums with quiet tension, chips clinking and cards sliding across the velvet surface. you’re currently sitting next to dr. veritas ratio, out of all people. as for how you landed a seat next to your professor—the same professor that sneers at mediocre efforts and fails half his students—will forever be a mystery. tonight was supposed to be girls night, where you can relax and party your academic deadlines away. yet instead, you find your heart racing as you watch your professor calculate his odds and size up his opponents like it’s nothing.

albeit terrified, you attempt to catch his attention. “didn’t expect to see you here,” you say, leaning in ever so slightly towards him. the words hang between you, but your pulse is racing. “you don’t strike me as the casino type, professor.”

he doesn’t spare you a glance yet. instead, he places a bet, his fingers tapping the chips. “i could say the same,” he replies, finally turning his gaze on you. his eyes have that familiar coolness in them, but this time, there’s something else—amusement maybe? “though, considering your recent performance, you might need to rely on luck more than most.”

embarrassed, you let out a weak laugh, more to relieve your nerves than anything else. “maybe i’ve just been waiting for a proper chance to test my skills.”

he cocks a brow. “how bold. though i expect your aiming for more than a simple game.”

your heart skips a beat at how easily he sees through you. “maybe,” you start, “depends on how much you're willing to offer.”

before you can react to his words, you feel veritas' hand on your thigh. his grip firm, making your breath hitch. you bite your lip, doing your utmost best to concentrate on the game in play. your professor, unbothered by your reaction, continues to play his hand as his eyes never leave the table in front of him.

“something tells me you’re more interested in winning than you let on,” he whispers, voice laced with velvet, loud enough for your ears only to hear. each word stirring goosebumps on your fragile skin. his fingers dance their way up your inner thigh, caressing your soft skin. touch featherlight as you do your best to stifle a moan.

“now why would i ever back down from a challenge?” you retort, your voice shamelessly laced with need and desire. as the words left your mouth, you feel his thumb hook the edge of your lace panties, cutting you off abruptly and sending your mind into a whirlwind of thoughts. the game in front of you now hidden in the back of your mind.

the game continues with the sound of chips clinking, card shuffling and rare exclamations from other players, but they all went in one ear and out the other. your professor now completely overtaking your thoughts. shrinking your world down to the little space surrounding you and veritas. your only reality being the tantalising touch of his fingers against your clothed core.

“eyes on the game, dear. you’re so far in it would be a pity to lose your cool now,” he says as though it’s nothing. as though his actions aren’t getting bolder by the minute.

his hand, now tucked away beneath your skirt, teases your wet folds through the thin fabric of your panties. focusing on the cards in front of you now seemed impossible as your mind hazed with lust. the heat between your legs is now becoming unbearable. your hips now subtly grinding against his fingers.

a loud clang pierces the air, pulling you back to reality. your heart skips a beat as you feel a cold presence on your lap. you look down to the sight of veritas' drink spilt over the edge of the table, soaking your clothes.

you gasp at the shock of icy liquid against you, seeping through your skirt and leaving a sticky mess on your thighs. veritas immediately stood up, abandoning the game in front of him, offering his hand out to you. “let’s clean you up. it’s a small spill, but we don’t want it to stain,” he says, and you swear you can see a small smirk play on his lips.

initially embarrassed, you nod and take his hand as he guides you through the casino floor. excitement slowly proceeds to replace your initial embarrassment as you draw closer to the bathrooms. all the background noise slowly fading away as the both of you enter the quiet bathroom, veritas locking the door behind you.

without warning, he pushes you against the wall and unzips your skirt, letting the fabric slide down your legs. your panties are coated with arousal, betraying the facade you did your best to keep up. veritas locks eyes with you, his eyes fueled with hunger as he kneels down in front of you.

“keep it quiet. you don’t want to get caught now, do you?” he warns before leaning in to devour you. his skilled tongue quickly finds its way to your clit, sucking and abusing it teasingly while his fingers work wonders inside of you. you arch your back, throwing your head back as the pleasure courses through you, your body begging for release.

with one hand tugging on veritas’ hair, aching for more, the other found its way to your mouth. attempting to cover up the sweet moans getting drawn out of you. although veritas doesn’t seem to take your moans seriously. he carries on teasing you, his tongue flicking your clit and his fingers pushing deeper inside you. your breathing grows ragged, and you know that you couldn't hold back the wave of ecstasy much longer.

but veritas, ever the harsh professor, pulled away, just when you were on the brink. leaving your bare pussy wet and needy, he stands up and wipes your remaining slick off his face. looking down on you, he commands, “stay behind after my lecture tomorrow.” his voice firm and unwavering before exiting the bathroom.

leaving you in the bathroom all alone, you contemplated the situation that just played out. your heart racing and your body still humming with desire. although, as you cleaned yourself up in the bathroom, you’re already contemplating your outfit for tomorrow and a cute matching set to wear underneath for your favourite professor.

taglist: @ryescapades @iamjellyfish @143-ilyuu @maruflix @pixelcafe-network

©lumis kinktober 24' ─ do not translate, repost, copy any of my works

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Yandere! Revenant harem w/ "queen" darling

A/N: ya'll won't leave me alone about this damn harem lol. ! jkjk I love ya'll but idek what to really add onto the harem stuff like please...I'm dying here. please eat this while I finish my requests.

requests: always open for my baby girls

Warnings: Ya'll should be famillair with the type of time I'm on

masterlist

hypothetically...let's say the original harem failed at protecting you and the revenants won and took you captive *tbh that's the only reason they came*

The revenant harem is all about teamwork, that's why they won. None of them mind sharing you and serving you is their sole purpose of living..well being undead?

You were their prize before they died and now in their afterlife, you are the only thing they can think about. They must protect their living darling from suffering their same fate. You are their queen now, they'll stop at nothing to prove that to you. Before they were playing fair, letting you choose who you wanted but they are done waiting. They are all yours to love.

Once captured by the harem, you will no longer have any life outside of them. You are not going anywhere. They hate the thought of you interacting with the outside world. Seriously, you are on lockdown. They even hate the idea of you visiting your family. They are your family.

were you a champion? Oh, well you're no longer allowed to ever fight or train again. They forbid you because they were all skilled and dedicated their lives to it but now look at them..you cannot get hurt.

Actually anything remotely dangerous is a no go.

There's never a second when you're alone, they're enamored by you. They've most likely built an entire castle for you, fit with a throne only you may be allowed to sit on. bouquets of flowers and jewels gifted at your feet. They bow in your presence and cannot wait to throw themselves at any opportunity to do something for you.

Anything..please anything you want. They'll gladly go to war for you and take over the entirety of the outworld for your ruling. Just say the words and they'd do it. You deserve to be Kahn with your ever so graciousness.

say jump and they'll say how high. If you never felt like walking again your feet won't ever have to touch that filthy ground ever again.

Don't let this fool you though, they are absolutely insane. They are still dangerous yanderes who will collectively punish you for any signs of disobedience. Don't run away, don't fight back or reject them..

Actually...do fight back. come on..they dare you. They love it when their queen plays rough. Who wouldn't want to be punched by you? They'll taunt and mock you while your weak self tries to fight them ...you're hilarious. If you are super powerful and is actually causing trouble, you will be punished by the more intense characters. Do you think you're getting past Raiden?

"A shame I had to use such intense force to subdue you. Although you are very dear to us, do not think for a second are exempt from proper discipline. Your fate will be shortly decided."

punishments range from you having some luxuries revoked to being dropped off in the living forest and left there to fend for yourself for a couple of hours.

You got the absolute worst version of every-single character...like a harem that consists of REVENANT Dark Raiden and Noob Saibot is a harem you def don't wanna mess around and find out with.

I know in the previous harem it seemed like every girl's dream..yeah no. Not this one.

Oh and they also like to control what you wear. Elaborate regal clothing is their favorite, especially with a huge headpiece. Your schedule is also controlled throughout the day. They have everything perfectly balanced to fairly share you and to take shifts protecting your castle. Occasionally though, some will get into fights with each other when one is a bit more needy and tries to hog up your time. The most sought-after time though is when you're either getting ready in the morning or settling down in the evening. To be the one to brush your hair or to help you out of your ridiculous garments is an honor.

I like to imagine that when you sleep, they all gather around your bed, admiring your beauty. none of them are allowed to sleep on your bed, They'll just huddle on the floor around it. reminds me of the quote "sleeping on your floor is better than sleeping in my bed." They all have their own rooms but rather be near you.

they're so far gone, you have to remind them every time you need to use the restroom that no. they cannot follow you in.

"Johnny, no. I need some privacy please."

*on his knees* "But my sweetheart...I just want to offer you some assistance."

"johnny- i have to pee..."

This way of life is completely normal...that's what they keep telling you at least..That their actions are innocent. Oh they just can't bear a second without you, bullcrap. So manipulative. They are still the same grimy men as before lol

Especially Kano and Erron..somehow death just made them have less of a filter.

Do you think Lui Kang, Kung Lao, Hanzo, and Kuai forced the monks and both clans into being your personal army? They're so damn corrupt.

They'll instantly kill anyone who dares to even look at you. It's only their special privilege. Their head will be gifted to you on a silver platter to show their undying devotion. Are you crying? did you not like their gift? They're sorry. Would you have preferred something more?

Speaking of you being upset, if someone in the harem causes you distress they'll be exiled after punishment...that is if they survived it.

[jujutsukgojo]

My gifts to you

feitan portor x reader

Summary: You knew him for years for only moments at a time. Yet, you take it upon yourself to love and mourn him anyway, even when the world won't. tw: light smut, slight yandere feitan, spoilers, mentions of murder, light angst, fluff(?), injuries, cheating, time skips an: didn't mean for it to be this long. Feitan is a bit tricky for me but oh well :) kind of inspired by criminal minds 'no way out'. 10.8k

“If you tie it like this, it should stay, okay?” You tap the boy’s foot. Although he is smaller than you in height, his feet are bigger. It’s quite comical but you don’t dare laugh. In this blasted city, you’d be bound to die for such a thing. Especially if you laugh at someone with crazy hair and carries a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire.  

  He says something in a foreign language that you can’t understand. If you are correct, it may be inverted Japanese. In the books that one kid collects, there is a country, Japan, where the common language originates. Since the common language isn’t his mother tongue, it makes you wonder where he’s from and why he’s here. 

  The boy stands up to his full, but short, height. You sit on random rubble and look up at him, waiting for what he’ll do next. Will he call over Phinks or even bring Uvogin? He hangs out with Phinks mainly but who knows these days. 

   Instead of swinging the bat at you or calling over his friends, he pats your head awkwardly. You don’t make any sudden movements or noises. The boy leaves right after. A sigh escapes your lips after he leaves you behind.  

   What's his name again? Feitain? 

__________

  In your hut, you slightly stir the food that sizzles in the pan you found. It’s rare to come across tomatoes and eggs but you managed this time. The smell is mouth watering. You hope no one else can smell it. 

As much as you want to live elsewhere, this is what you settle for at the moment. In another world, you’d be out of this city and somewhere clean and safe. Like the church or something. No, even better than the church. You’ve heard of the outside where there are bright flashing lights and diamonds and pearls on people’s necks. There are flowers of all colors out there. Different shapes, smells, and meanings, they’re all beautiful. You hear that food isn’t scavenged but bought or given to people without a price.  

   People said they’ve seen the safety of children your age that play without a care. There are parents for the lost kids and doctors for the injured. Clean clothes and showers on the regular. You can even see the sun clearly and the big, round moon that doesn't bring out the wolves in men. 

There are pastors and priests that don’t turn people away, either. Hell, you have even wondered if there were schools there that allow everyone to get in. You're sure that you are reading and doing math wrong. How embarrassing.  

Finally done, you place the food on a plastic plate you found. You made sure to wipe the grime off the plate and rinsed it with clean water before using it. Even though you can just eat out of the pan, you want to seem sophisticated like the outside. They don't eat out of pans or use dirty plates. 

  The food steams and is welcoming. Without a lot of utensils, you pick at it with your hands. It burns at first but you’re too hungry. The flavor bursts in your mouth. Even without the proper seasonings, it’s still heaven. You haven’t eaten in a while so you’ll take what you can get.  

   Suddenly, the boy, Feitan, enters your hut. You gasp and protectively cover your food. He brings his foot out. His shoe, which he stole, is untied again. You swallow the substance and point out, “I taught you how to tie them.” 

“Tie.” 

“I taught you.” You set your plate down.  

“Tie.” You roll your eyes and pat your thighs. He walks over to you and places his dirt caked shoe on your lap. Slowly, you tie them.  

“There, see? Come on now, you need to learn. A little boy can’t grow without tying his shoes.” 

“I’m not little boy.” You give a breathy chuckle. “Of course you are, honey.” 

  He leans in close to your face. “I’m older than you.”  

...He does hang out with Phinks, who is a couple years older than you. In fact, it is rare to see them apart. Is it possible that it’s true? Is Phinks the type to be friends with someone who is younger?

 Curious, you ask, “Then why are you so short?” His eyes widened in shock. Then, strangely, he laughs while patting your head harshly. Studying his face revealed what looks like the beginning of a sinister smile.

  He looks at your plate and sits down in front of you. You’re both on the dirt floor. 

 “Give me.” You scoff and snap at him. “No! Find your own!” 

The little beast decided that the two of you should ‘share’. He smacks on his food, making you want to punch him repeatedly. He’s gaunt and bony, but not really bad like last time. His face has a tiny bit of roundness to it. 

  “Stop staring.” He inhales a tomato. “You look better than last time.”

“Better?” He cocks his head to the side. The remnants of the tomato smeared a little on his cheek.

“Yeah, healthier.” He stares at you for a second. “Thanks.” His accent is thick, and you still can’t place it. Nevertheless, you understand. Afterwards, much to your surprise, he sleeps in your hut now that his belly is full. Satisfied and strangely not afraid, you follow suit. It’s nice to have a friend, however strange.

You are barely awake, sleep still heavy in your eyes, when you see him pop up. Drool is crusted on his cheek, and he rubs his eyes. He yawns and then spots you next to him. Feitan eyes the entry of the hut then back at you. He puts the only cover you have on you then pets your head. 

  Before he leaves, he places his bat in your hand. Feitan secures the entry as he exits the hut. 

_____________

  It’s been years since you and Feitan have talked. You've gotten familiar with him but when Sarasa had died in such a disrespectful and gruesome way, he withdrew. In the meantime, you waited for him and studied a power you discovered. No matter the eyes that were always on you, you didn’t care about the mysterious and hidden audience. 

  You don’t know what it’s called but it started when you witnessed some kid about to get her ass handed to her by some thugs. The man had moved a pair of scissors without using his hands. They aimed right towards her and in a moment of instinct, you rushed to push her out of the way. Unfortunately, the scissors stabbed you in the shoulder.  

  It was then did you feel the rush of a force so strong, that it knocked everyone away from you. A faint white light that glowed from your skin that only your eyes could see. As you looked around in shock, you saw that same glow coming from that man and his friends. 

  You were gasping when you fell to your knees. “I-I’m sorry. I can’t be here!” The girl your age ran for her life and left you behind. In a moment of fear, you call out to her to help you. You were so afraid; you couldn't tell if the screams were hers or yours. Given the situation, you were too rattled, terrified and hurt, to focus.

The men shook for a second then got up to face you. The blood from your shoulder wasn’t stopping its flow. Crimson red stained your clothes and the ground. It was all so strange, such an unusual feeling of adrenaline that you couldn’t help but memorize. Almost as if the world had finally made sense. Every single thing became so much clearer to your dismay.  

  The men came towards you with malicious intent. While putting pressure on your injury, you managed to kick one of their legs, causing them to buckle and hurt his knee. He screamed in agony. 

  “G-get away!” You try to stand. The press of your hand on the wound isn’t helping. Is it supposed to bleed this much? It hit your shoulder, but did it nick something?  

  You need to stop it, to heal and get away from them. In this city, people like you are in danger from men like them. If you don’t get away, you’ll end up like Sarasa. She was never really close to you. She was a nice girl who always looked for video tapes, so you'd help her from time to time. Yet, her death scarred everyone since it was so close to home. And now, you no doubt are facing the exact same situation. Wrong place, wrong time.  

   Same fate.  

You fell back on the ground and looked at the sky. It has always been so dirty, just like the city due to pollution. Still so young, you know you won’t see what it really looks like. In the corner of your eye, you spot something green. A small clover with four leaves. 

  One time, an old man told a story of how four-leaf clovers are a sign of good luck. By the intense feeling and pressure of your eyes, you know it’s not true. Pain in all ways makes tears fall from your eyes. Lips wobbling at how unfair everything is and that you will never see the sun. The outside must really be heaven, and for someone so young who hasn’t committed a sin, you are wondering if you can go.

  Suddenly, flowers that you never knew blossomed around you. The soft petals touched your filthy skin and got rid of the aches. The blood on your shoulder faded from view as well as the pain. A soft and beautiful hum whispered in your ear. You truly believed it to be in your head, an imagination of paradise as you leave. Heaven, they call it. You must be close to the outside world then. 

  This must be it, you thought. There was no pain from a strike or fear. Just closed eyes and peace. Something you know you couldn’t get in the atrocious city.  

It ends. You were shocked as the beautiful flowers disappeared. Heaven, would you reject someone? 

  The men didn’t hurt you. The one whose knee was broken was able to move his leg. His red hair kind of glowed in the sun, and brown eyes were wide. He muttered a soft ‘thank you’ and walked away without a limp. His friends followed.  

   After that, you had realized that your ability wasn’t anything like scissors or something scary. It was to heal and be healed.

Although after immediately learning this, you didn't go out of your way to find the source of the screams in the direction the people went. First was the girl, then the group of men. After what you went through, it didn't seem like a good idea. 

 Feitan, somehow, got wind of it. Now in his later teen years you both estimate, he sits still and points to his arm. There’s a gnarly gash oozing blood. You wonder how he’s not feeling this and if he is, how he isn’t even fazed.  

  You gently pick up his arm and inspect it. He's thin but has clear definition in his arms. You haven’t seen him in so long that you are surprised by his growth. Hell, he’s taller now. Still short, but at least he grew.  

  In a jar, you take a premade petal. This is a way for you to save energy and reach people when you physically can’t tend to. Acting as a pill, you make sure that people can get infections out. For some reason, illnesses and infections are particularly tricky and tiring for you.  

  “Eat this, Feitan.” He frowns. “No.” You sigh. “It’s infected. You need to eat this so I can heal it right.” 

  “It’s not.”   

Rolling your eyes you bring his wound to his face. “This, this is infected. It's literally oozing pus.” How long did this go on? Was he really that hesitant to just come and see you?

  He growls and takes the delicate petal and places it in his mouth. “Stop pouting.”  

“Not pouting. It’s nasty.” He’s not wrong. It has a bitter taste and when chewed, a slimy texture. The color of the disintegrating petal leaves a stain in the mouth as well. If not for the benefits, no one would even bother. They'd be just as offended as Feitan.  

  The pus stops and clears up. “Alright, this’ll leave a scar.”  

You blow on your hand so that flowing blossoms surround him. Beautiful shades of pink and white go through his hair. With a gentle caress, you see the flurries touch his wound. It starts to encourage his own healing.  

  As much as you want to do the full thing, you’re tired. All day you’ve been working and collecting payments. Not to mention facing the disappointment of them being useless. You want to kick yourself for not getting paid first. But the sight of those grateful people and healed kids softens your heart.  

  Soon, it stops once the injury becomes manageable. You’re about to wrap it when a hand stops you. “What’s this?”  

  “Feitan, I'm tired. You caught me at a bad time.” You try to move your hand but he stops you. He's a lot stronger than you remember. “Heal.” 

His fluency isn’t the greatest still.  

“I’m tired! Just let it heal the rest of the way.” No matter how much you try to yank your hand away, his grip is too strong. “Please, Feitan...”  

  Surprisingly, he lets go and from what you can see, the subtle white glow appears and heals him the rest of the way, leaving small flames. “Feitan...what was that?” 

  He rolls his eyes and plops down on a chair. He says nothing and just relaxes, or at least that’s what he’s trying to make it seem like. It has been a while since you’ve seen him, but that doesn’t make you blind to his behaviors…sometimes. 

   “As a transmuter, I can heal a little by using enhancer,” He looks at you suspiciously. “You know nothing about nen?”

“Nen?” You put the gauze and other items in a black bag. It was found in the safe zone by the church. Apparently, it belonged to a doctor from the outside. The bag had all kinds of necessities. Gauze, medicine, some syringes, disinfectant, a thermometer, all kinds of stuff that you’ve had to use sparingly. What you save in the bag, you make up for with your ability. 

  He smacks his lips and calls you a ‘dumb brat’. “You use nen but don’t know it?”

Sighing, you ask, “What is nen, Feitan?” 

“What you do. Use your aura and stuff.” His arms are crossed, and he looks at you expectantly. You gather that he likes knowing things you don’t. It’s like a weak power trip. 

  But it is nice to finally have a name and explanation for it. And that’s what he did this time. Visiting you for a moment just to pick with you while teaching you something you should have known. 

“Wait, if you could do that, why’d you come here?” He just shrugs.

------

When you see him again, he brings his friends along. You immediately recognize some of them. Phinks, who ran with Feitan, the boy who always collected books, and Uvogin, the giant who was always claiming territory and beating people up. 

  Feitan should be twenty now. It’s hard to tell since he looks youthful. He points to his friend, the boy with the books, and orders, “Heal.”

“You can do it, Feitan, remember?” You were in the middle of cleaning when he and the rest of his posse pop up. They look flustered and a little worse for wear. 

  “Heal.” He always does crap like this. You roll your eyes at first. The body they carry tugs on your strings a bit. 

“Fine. Put him on the table.” Thankfully, it’s cleaned, and a new wrapping has been placed on it. Gently, the man is put on it. You spot the cross tattoo on his forehead. Ah, that’s where Feitan has been. Lately, there’s been whispers of the Phantom Troupe. Merciless killers and thieves from Meteor City that have been gaining respect over the years. Your opinion of them isn’t the greatest but it also isn’t the worst. You appreciate them for standing up for Meteor City, but their methods are questionable.

   You sigh and begin to undress the boy with the cross. “Is that necessary?” 

You continue to pull off his clothes, not bothering to answer the question the girl asked. If she can’t understand why you need to remove his clothes, then that’s on her. She scoffs after another female voice answers her question. 

  You finally see his wound. Feitan can heal himself to a degree, but you don’t think this guy can. The gash is deep and sewed with makeshift stitches. There’s no nen involved, surprisingly. Given that Feitan is an avid user, you thought his friends would be keen on it too. 

“He’s a specialist. Enhancer techniques are harder for him.” Phinks spoke. He must've understood your confusion. 

“And the stitches?” You gently investigate the area. It’s an angry red around it and, like you suspected, infected. It wasn’t properly taken care of. You begin to remove the stitches. You wonder what the thread is made of and how long this has been going on. 

“He,” Phinks points to Uvogin. “And him,” He then points to another large man with long ears. “Thought they could do it. Normally, Machi heals us but they were away from her. Her stitches would have helped him but not any infections.”

  “Ah, well this requires more than I thought.” You touch the ground and out comes a beautiful swirl of flowers. Underneath the moving petals is a blooming sunflower. It picks the guy up so he rests on it. The bed of the flower glows softly and becomes warm. His once wincing face is now peaceful. His injury is slowly closing and the red is beginning to turn pink. 

“The downside of this is that it takes a while. It’ll be all healed up in about an hour or so.”

“ An hour?” Uvogin, who has abandoned his afro and traded it for long standing hair. “Feitan, I thought you said she was good? We could’ve gone to that one guy and got it done right then and there.”

“She’s the best. Wait.” His hands are in his pockets and he moves. Feitan looks around and touches whatever he pleases. You try not to focus on his compliment. You wonder if the reason he moved from your line of sight is because he got embarrassed. If so, you won’t tease him. The Troupe are killers, afterall. 

   You start to feel the weight of your nen. This technique requires more effort than the others. Feitan explained it to you but you never did get the hang of it. You just know what to do instinctively. You were proud that you could do any of this without a teacher.

 What you’re sure of is that this man, whatever his name is, is giving you a crap ton of money after this or there’ll be hell to pay. 

   You feel something tickling the side of your face. The wrapper is red and unopened. You take the energy bard gratefully. “Thank you, Feitan.”

A couple of the Troupe members complain about the time. Machi or Mochi or whatever, the pink haired one, especially complains and criticizes for some reason. You have never seen this person before in your life yet here she is pouting. 

  “You okay?” You see the blond boy with big blue eyes study you closely. He moves closer to your face. A smile never leaves his face. Before you can answer, Feitan, who hasn’t left your side since you ate the bar, answers for you. 

“She’s fine. I’m watching her.”

You hear a couple of snickers. Feitan glares daggers at the offenders. You take a deep breath and ignore the friends who decided to crowd inside your hut. The boy with the forehead tattoo lies peacefully. Although you are running out of steam, his wound is healing nicely. One of the women, you believe it’s Pakunoda, comes to you and bends down. 

“Can I get you anything?” You discover that your throat is absolutely parched. “Some water, please.”

  If you remember correctly, the last you saw of her was when her head was shaved and some outsider kid did it. She had always kept it short. And now, it’s on her shoulders and very sleek. Over the years she’s drastically changed.

  You drink the water, which to your surprise, is clean. “Hey, how did this happen anyway?”

  “Don’t ask questions.” Feitan quickly shuts you down. Before you can ask anything more, you notice the entire group of friends are quiet. 

  “It’s nothing for you to worry about, okay?” You nod at the blonde boy with blue eyes and a permanent smile. Completing the hour, the tattoo guy is up. He’s immediately impressed. “My name’s Chrollo Lucilfer. Yours?” He puts out his hand for you to shake. 

  “Yeah, the book collector-theater nerd-kid, right? My name’s-” Before you can even answer, Feitan does it for you. 

  He gives your name and how your Nen works. He’s quick with it, too. You side eye Feitan for a second. “Thanks, Feitan. I, uh, really needed a spokesperson.”

“Ah, I guess it can’t be helped then, Feitan?” There’s tension in the air. It’s thick and heavy. By the looks of it, neither one is backing down. “Um, it’s not a big deal that he answered for me, you do know that, right?”

  Seconds pass through this. You look around for anyone to intervene with this. Whatever the hell is going on, it’s deep. “Since Fei explained it, why not have her join?”

“Positions are filled.” Chrollo still stares directly into Feitan’s eyes. Phinks nervously chuckles, once again trying to defuse the situation. “Fei, come on. No fighting. Right boss?”

  Suddenly, it’s lifted. Chrollo has what looks like a practiced smile on his face. “That’s true. That’s a rule.”

  Chrollo takes a glance at you. “She obviously means a lot to you. Clearly, she’s an asset, too.”

  “I’m right here, jackass.” Feitan smacks you on the head. “I’ll handle her.” 

  The others sigh in relief. Momentarily, you’re a little offended. “It was nice meeting you.”

They exit your hut right after, leaving Feitan behind. “So. those were your friends, huh?”

“Watch tongue.” You smack your lips and roll your eyes. There is blood on the floor and on the table. The furniture is in disarray due to all of his friends having no home training.  “I haven’t seen you in forever and this is how you greet me?”

 He frowns. “I say hello all the time.” You turn to him. “When? I didn’t see you.”

Feitan huffs and kicks the ground lightly. You get up to move the furniture back to place. Your movements are slow and everything seems so much heavier. Everything is swirling right before your eyes. Your head hurts and yet feels so light. Before you meet the ground, Feitan takes you to the couch and lays you down. 

  “I haven’t seen you in so long, little boy…” Those were the last words you say before you drift to sleep. 

Hours later, you wake up at the sound of birds. There is a beautiful blue blanket on you with golden yellow designs. It’s thick and so warm you could stay forever. You’ve never owned anything like this. 

  Slowly you get up and search for Feitan. He’s nowhere to be found much to your dismay. Last night’s conversation still stays with you. He insisted that he says hello all the time. That he sees you regularly, yet, you haven’t seen him at all. 

  The blanket, the wind chime, the medical supplies, the various decorations with stones, paint and if you weren’t smart, you’d say gold. Could Feitan have been the one to give you gifts? Silently watching over you and in his own way, saying hello? You have felt like you were being watched for years. 

____________

  “Do you understand why I didn’t welcome you?”

“No, and I never will. Now please, leave me alone.” You feel convicted by turning a man of God away, but can he truly be one when he left a child to suffer? You were in the cold, wind, and rain, alone in one of the worst parts of the city. All you had was Feitan, and he was there once in a blue moon. After the rejection from the church, you took it upon yourself to care for others as no one had ever cared for you. Although hurt and afraid, you chose not to spread that toxicity. You decided that no matter the size of change, it still works. 

 However, you will not fall prey to the same people. For instance, that girl you saved and this priest. How can he expect your services with no repentance or atonement? You forgive, but like hell will you forget. 

Damn…you were so sure you were over the pain of your past. That the change you made within yourself and how you treat people so no one else suffers like you, would stick. Alas, all it takes is one person to bring it down. You want to kick yourself because of the regression. Then again, the hostility isn’t your fault.

You walk into the hallway with small statues, stone walls, and large windows. The sun shines brightly through them, making the church seem prettier than it is.

“Please-”

“She said no.” Feitan stands with his hands in his pockets, the sun shining on his pale skin. It has been a few months since the incident with Chrollo. You haven’t seen any of them but have felt eyes on you, which you have deduced was Feitan. However, you learned the truth of the blanket. The name stitched on it belonged to an old clan, the Kurta, that was mutilated, tortured, and murdered by the Phantom Troupe. It disgusts you. The blanket is comfortable but still. 

Feitan, the boy who you taught to tie his shoes, gave you a trophy of his crime. You wanted to burn it, or bury it in the memory of the Kurta, yet you couldn’t. It’s a gift from the one consistent person in your life. Your protector and giver. So, you folded it and put it in a box. 

   Now, here he is like he’s done nothing wrong. Defending you and putting the man that’s been with the city for ages in his place. You’re shocked at his behavior. 

  “Feitan, surely you must understand!” 

“Shut up.” Father Rizole took a step back in surprise. Feitan was one of his regulars, if you remember correctly. This must be a surprise for the aging priest. 

You hum at the scene. Even though the rumors of what the Troupe has done bothers you, it doesn’t mean you aren’t opposed to the benefits. The priest backs up and sighs. 

“If you ever reconsider, please, let me know. We could use your help.”

“I could’ve used it too.” You end the conversation there and leave. Feitan soon follows you. He’s silent on his feet and very fast. Feitan was behind you but his quick feet caught up in less than a second. Now, he walks right at your side. 

“So, you just decide when you want to see me?” 

Feitan shrugs. “I don’t know.” 

Sighing, you turn to him and ask, “What do you need this time?” The lower half of his face is hiding under a plain cowl now. His eyes show all of the emotion needed. “I just hang out.”

  The sun is too hot for this nonsense. Sweat trickles down your face and back, becoming sticky. “So that’s why you’re here, right? I’m shocked.”

Before he can say your name, you continue. “Oh! And let's not forget the little massacre that took place, huh? Yeah, being used to heal your friend from that was really fun.”

“I didn’t.”

 You roll your eyes. “No, just that one guy. That’s who to you, again?”

“Boss.” You scoff at his short answer. Then, you think about the possibility. “Your boss? Then…doing that to the Kurta, wasn’t your idea, was it?”

“No, not mine.” His hands remain in his pockets. His hair blows in the wind slightly. You realize he hasn’t gotten a haircut in a while. 

“If you could, you know, go back in time…would you still do it?”

“Yes.” No hesitation, no thought put into the answer. Just a plain as day answer and a tone that leaves no room for an explanation. 

“So whatever he wants he just gets? As long as it aligns with your twisted mind, right?”

  His eyes grow darker. “I save you.”

You point to the church. “No, no you didn’t. That guy wasn’t going to do anything to me. I had it handled.”

Shaking your head, you go to leave until a hand wraps around your wrist. “Boss takes nen. I didn’t let him.”

  Was that what that was? That tension that day that was suffocating? Remembering that day, you start to form pieces. “Would he hurt you if you didn’t go along with his schemes?”

“No.” 

Well there goes that idea. “Nevermind.”

You try to yank your wrist from his grip, but it’s iron tight. “Let me go!”

“I protect you, always. Bad people here, everywhere. I get dirty for you.” His face is indifferent but his words give it away. The plea for you to understand and realize, dare you say, his devotion to his friends. Does this include you?

Is that what it is? What friendship, this connection is? You are aware of the deeds the Troupe do. You understand why they thought it would be a good idea (somewhat anyway). 

“Thank you, then.” He lets go of your wrist which was grabbed painfully tight. He trades that in for holding your hand instead. You are shocked at first, but if you make it a big deal, he’ll stop. You don’t want him to right now. 

  Not when you feel safe. You still want to kick yourself… and maybe throw in a punch.

_____

Apparently, the Troupe have gone their separate ways for now. They don’t cling onto each other for a long period of time after a job. It’s better that way since it has a lesser chance of them getting caught. They still hang out from time to time, though. 

For you, you managed to get out of Meteor City after the argument with the priest. Feitan had gone to do another heist with Phinks, if you remember right. You took that moment to skip town. You never wanted to stay in the trash, anyway. 

  And you were right to! Everything you thought of as a child about the world outside was true! Sure, people can be rude and things can be corrupt, but you’re fed and resting. There are bright lights and kind people. It can be clean and the soap smells so good. Just the other day you got to experience a nail salon. Rather than stealing from you, the lady next to you, Jade, talked about her family. Her daughter is Ruby and her wife is Scarlet. Jade and Scarlet want another child. You offered the name Emerald. 

  In Meteor City, you would’ve had to fight. Now, you are making friends and offering beautiful names. It’s a stark contrast that is fully welcomed. 

  The sun is bright and the moon is sometimes round. It doesn’t always attract evil and can sometimes sing such a beautiful melody. There are pearls and diamonds. There are seasonings that make the food taste unbelievably good. It’s all expensive, but infinitely better than Meteor. 

And Nen is a secret here. In the city, many knew about it and used it without discretion. Here it’s different. Like a secret identity for a hero. Your nen in particular isn’t used as much as it was before. Your ability was so tiring. Pretty and incredibly useful, but exhausting nonetheless. 

  It has been a few years since you saw him, but he’s seen you. He found you quickly, too. When you came home from your office job (which you are still ecstatic about, by the way) you noticed a new painting in your house. It was dull and in black and white. The painting is of a few plants that take the center stage. Actually, they’re your nen plants. In the background is what looks like your old city. Piles of rubbish and polluted air in black swirls. There are clouds above and a dark sun barely poking out. 

  It’s sad. Beautiful, but sad. You have wondered what he meant by it. You open the door to your apartment. It’s not much and one day you want to get a house. 

  The keys make a jingle when you set them on the countertop. The apartment is still dark, so you scramble to flip the switch. “Why you leave?”

You scream at the top of your lungs. Standing there nonchalantly is Feitan, who you haven’t had contact with in a hot minute. His hair is even longer than before. He wears a new cowl that has a skull on it over his face. His trench coat looks a little too big for him but he wears it well anyway. 

  “Uh, because I live here? What are you doing here?” You set your bag down and take off your short heels. Although he’s a murderer, you still feel safe with him. 

 He takes slow strides towards you. “ Why? I looked for you and you weren’t there.”

“You knew where I was. I got your presents,” You point to the painting. He hides his face a little in the fabric. “I like it by the way. Did you do it?”

“Shut up.” You sigh and walk into your kitchen. “I’ll make you something to eat.”

 You begin to wash the rice. Your eyes switch from looking down to taking obvious glances at him. Right about now, he should be in his mid twenties. It’s amazing how long you’ve known each other. You remember him as that kid who didn’t know how to tie his shoes and him teaching you about Nen. Time flies so fast when you least expect it. 

  You crack the eggs and whisk them. The sound of the utensil against the bowl and the sizzle of the tomatoes in the pan is all that is heard. Feitan doesn’t make one sound. He opts to stare at you working and even has a glint in his eye which you think could be satisfaction. 

  “Do you still like this, by the way? I remember you snatching it.” You try not to smile at the memory. 

 “I do.” He hovers in your kitchen, just waiting, watching you do all of the work. Stingy bastard. After adding the seasonings, you could have never gotten in Meteor City, you fix him a plate. He happily accepts it and sits down on the floor. 

“I have a tab-” Oh, the memory. Allowing yourself to smile, you sit with him and eat off of his plate. “We’re sharing. ”

 He gives a slight growl but doesn’t do anything. “So, what brings you by?”

“I say hello.” You hum with a mouth full of food. “Well, hello to you too, little boy.”

He gives you a light kick. The two of you finish the plate. Both full, you just lay back and talk. 

“How long are you staying?” 

“Not long.” You’ll miss him. “Running from the cops again?”

“Need to hide out for a bit.” You nod, accepting his answer and that your connection will probably always be sweet moments. “It’s nice to have you here, even only for a moment.”

  Feitan taps you again with his foot. “I’m always here. I say hello all the time.” You know and are fully aware of what he means. His odd little gifts decorate your house. To bones, to rugs, even a china set he stole. It’s routine for him to give you something, even when you don’t see him. 

“Even though you run.” He kicks you again. The more you watch him, the more your chest tightens. He’s the only consistent thing in your life. Everything is fleeting. Your job is new as well as your relationship with your coworkers. But there is a line with them. Feitan is different.

  “How long are we going to do this dance?”

“I don’t dance.” You roll your eyes and laugh. “I mean you coming by once in a blue moon.” 

  He shrugs. “I don’t know.” You nod. “Figures.”

He frowns. “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean, that this whole thing is tiring. You come and go like some kind of feral cat.”

  “So?”

You sputter, “ So I don’t appreciate it.” He takes off his long coat and reveals his chest, next goes his shoes. “I sleep here.”

“You can’t use me!” He gets up and goes in the direction of your room. “Feitan!” You pick up his clothes and set them aside. “Do you hear me? I wasn’t done talking!”

  On your bed is a sprawled out Feitan. He looks at you with squinted eyes. “Shut up, I’m trying to sleep.”

  Like always, he makes himself at home. You sigh, giving up on trying to talk to him. “Move over.” 

  He scoffs and reluctantly moves out of your way. You feel him tense up as you lay down. “This is my bed. I can sleep here.”

  You face each other as you lay down. Neither of you say anything about how close you are. This is probably the closest you’ve ever been since you helped him tie his shoes the second time. You feel his eyes on you, making you nervous. “Stop staring at me.”

  “Never sleep with someone in a while.” You know. The last time was with you, no doubt. At the time, you didn't think about it, if you remember correctly. It's hard to tell since it's been so long. 

“The couch is that way.” He smacks his lips. “No, you go.” You open your eyes. 

“Like I said, this is my bed.” Feitan doesn’t say anything about your ownership. Instead, he’s honest with you. “I’m tired.”

  Instantly, you start to feel a little bad. In the city, no child was ever able to fully sleep. It was too dangerous, especially in the more dangerous districts. Him being honest about his state, you take it as a step. 

  “If you want to, I’ll be on the lookout.” His hands are next to yours. You grab them, just like he did those few years ago. “You can sleep now, Feitan.” 

  You don’t know when, don’t know how either, but you two do end up sleeping. His eyes are closed and his breath even. Your eyes flutter open and see that he’s got slight dark under eyes and his mouth leaking drool. Feitan looks peaceful, sleepy, like he hasn’t done this in a while. 

  The next morning, he’s gone with no evidence he was even there.

_________________

  You watch on the tv screen above the bank about the attack on York New, a city not too far from you. The attack happened a few days ago but it’s still in the headlines. You don’t blame them, to be honest. It was an insane event that over two thousand people died! 

  You cling onto your boyfriend’s arm. He touches your hand reassuringly. His watch gleams in the moonlight and his suit is perfectly pressed. He's the entire package, he’s perfect. A good job, good manners, an honest man, and treats you well, too. He always holds the chair out for you and gets up when you leave the room. Just like a true gentleman. 

  When you first met, it was a classic coffee shop romance. Then it blossomed into a romantic and expensive dinner, the movies, a nighttime walk in the park, all of the classic dates. In every single one of them he was the perfect gentleman, the perfect man. You like him and how he treats you. How consistent he is. He's the type of man you can rely on. 

  Nevertheless, there is a bothersome voice in the back of your head that reminds you of someone he just isn’t. He’s not Feitan Portor. You don’t feel the contentment Feitan gives when the two of you sleep. You don’t study your boyfriend’s features like you did Feitan.

Dammit, why are you thinking of him? He’s not around and you haven’t seen him in what? Two or three years? So why think of him now. Plus, you haven’t received a gift or a ‘hello’ from him. For all you know, he could be dead.

  “Are you alright?” You wake from your thoughts and look at your boyfriend. His hair is dark, blending in with the night. Eyes kind and green, a Grecian nose, and average sized lips revealing a dazzling smile. Not only is the very essence of him suave, but his looks are also perfect. Tall and handsome, well dressed and a smooth voice. 

It's just that one five foot one pest that won’t get out of your head. 

  “Y-yeah just…it’s all so shocking. York New is literally over there.” You point past the river where more tall buildings reside in the distance.

“I know, I know.” He brings you in close to him. He places a kiss on your head. “Don’t worry, nothing will happen to you.” 

Suddenly, the newscaster stops mid sentence and gasps. Before you know it, the Phantom Troupe have been named the offenders that caused all of this. Two thousand people. Feitan, did you really kill that many people?

“I would like to go home. I don’t feel the greatest.” He rubs your arm, you still being tucked into his side. Your excuse was a lie to cover the gnawing feeling towards Feitan and his deeds. Although the Phantom Troupe’s original intentions were from a decent stand point, it seems they’ve lost their way. Feitan has lost his way. 

  The gifts have stopped coming, him no longer saying hello. After the last time, when you made him familiar food and sat in a comfortable silence, he disappeared. This time, there was something about it that hurt. Like he didn’t want to come around. He didn’t want to say hello anymore. Or perhaps, he died which if confirmed, you would ache beyond help. 

  “The Phantom Troupe is dead.” The newscaster said. The crowd gasped, shocked that the most feared criminals in the world are gone. Did you jinx it? Curse the little boy who needed you to tie his shoes. The boy who liked your cooking and made sure you rested. Had strong faith in you, never doubting. Protected you from the shadows and held your hand. 

  Is he really gone? 

You hide your face in your boyfriend’s jacket. Tears stream from your eyes at the thought of his grave. With the Troupe, his friends dead, you’d be the only one to truly mourn him. To remember his name beyond his violence. 

You clutch your chest. “Are you okay? Does your chest hurt?” He grabs you by your shoulders, making you face him. He’s such a kind, decent man. But he’s not Feitan Portor. 

  “I just need to rest. I’ll call you tomorrow.” You give him a chaste kiss goodbye. Once he leaves, your chest hurts even more. You slide down as you look around at all the menace’s little gifts. The painting, the skull, the windchimes, everything he’s given you. Why, oh why, couldn’t you stay here long enough for your gift, Feitan?

Wait, what could you have given him anyway? He’s a thief that takes what he pleases and has nothing to wish for. 

You lay on your couch and put your arm over your face. The tears refuse to stop for even just a second. You don’t know what you’re crying harder for. Feitan or the confusing feelings for him. Now that he’s gone, you can’t properly tell him. How can you explain it? 

  It’s heavy on your chest and tightens it. You want to feel his body heat no matter how hot the day is. There are no small flutters in your stomach at the thought of him. No, it's something in your heart. You want to stare at him, to memorize every feature he has. To hear his soft voice that is just a centimeter away from a whisper. Just melt in his touch, his presence. Wait, why is this happening? You barely knew him! Does that fact even matter though?

 You slip your hand in your underwear, still staring at the ceiling, sniffling at the news of his death. You imagine the future. Seeing him walk into your house and setting his belongings on the table. Wrapping his arms around you and kissing your back. No matter how long you’ve known him, his stature never fails to amuse you. He’d paw at your body, tearing off your clothes. Feitan wouldn’t hesitate to use his hands for your pleasure. 

  You trace your fingers in the direction you think he’d go. Curling your fingers inside, thrusting them in harshly, knowing that he can only be gentle in his own way. Your back arches from the couch. You swear you can smell him and the faint metallic scent that he holds. The feeling of his ragged breath on your cheek you could swear is real. 

  You moan as you take that jump you’ve searched for. Thinking of how good Feitan would make you feel. You're relentless on yourself, still going as strong as he’d be. Adding another finger, going faster and faster on your clit. Your moaning gets louder as the indiscernible amount of time goes on. 

‘ The Phantom Troupe is dead.’

You crash on the couch with one last gasp. The dream of the two of you ends in flames. The house, the passion, the years that go by in that home. Maybe even a child or two. Seeing him in the morning with a groggy voice is gone. Rubbing his eyes and saying he wants more eggs and tomatoes is no longer there.

  What would your gift be to Feitan? Memories? Sex? Food? Nothing fits. He can have those with anyone. 

  You slip yourself out from your underwear. It didn’t distract you. Perhaps if you thought of your boyfriend, it would have. But the feelings you have towards Feitan went beyond physical. What is this? What do you call this?

  Love? Time stops at the realization. It has to be that. That would have been your gift to him. Love. You cover your mouth as you admit it to yourself. 

'I love you Feitan Portor. I won’t forget you. I love your messed up hair and soft voice. For how you didn’t reject me when the world did. I will do the same for you. I’ll look past your torturous ways and miss you anyway. Maybe the world will curse you, but I’ll mourn you. Bury you so no one can spit on you anymore. I love you Feitan. 

   I’m in love with you Feitan Portor. This is my gift to you. For you to know that you will not be forgotten even though I never got to tell you, to thank you for everything. For leaving the baseball bat with me to protect myself. For painting that picture for me. All of the little gifts you thought I’d like, too. Thank you for protecting me from the priest and the wolves that hunted me every day when we were young.'

You stare at the ceiling till the earliest of mornings. It’s still dark, still heavy with the night sky. There’s some rumbling in the distance, a flash of light in the sky. You don’t bother to confirm anything. 

Just as you close your eyes, the window opens with a creak. You move your eyes to see the figure before you. The darkness covers it, only leaving the silhouette. “Why cry?”

You squint, trying to make out the features.  “Are you real?”

“Very.” It must be a lie. A cruel humor the world has. “Stop crying.” 

“I can’t. Not when you sound like him.” The figure cocks his head, that much you can see with the flash of lightning behind him. “Him?”

“Someone who can’t tie his shoes.” Your lip wobbles again. “I can tie them now.” The moon glows enough to show his face now as he steps up to you. Feitan’s delicate features peek out from his cowl. 

 You shake your head in denial. “It’s not real. It can’t be. You’re dead, Fei.” Your voice is hoarse from your sobs. 

  He looks shocked at your words. The man who looks like Feitan smacks your feet off the end of the couch so he can sit. 

“I’ll miss you Feitan Portor.” The longer you stare at the imaginary man, the more you hurt. “Well, stop.”

  He roughly wipes away the tears. “Ugly when you cry.” His face is close to yours. Since he’ll be gone by the time you come to your senses, you grab his face and kiss him. He sharply inhales, not expecting your sudden decision. 

  He growls against your lips, “Stupid brat.” 

  He feels real. He smells real, familiar too. You tell him such and with furrowed brows and a strong grip of his hand, he grabs your jaw and makes you look at him. “I’m real, you idiot.”

“They said you died…” You comb his hair through your fingers. It’s real, he's real . So, what’s going on? Before you can ask him, he cradles you. “Stop crying or I’ll go.”

  Your lips wobble at his threat. Rather than listening to it, you hug him. He nestles on top of you, hips placed between yours. He’s light, lighter than you thought so it isn’t a bother.

  “You’re so ugly when you cry. Don’t cry.” He holds you closer and kisses your head. Against your ear, you feel his lips move. You can’t tell what he’s mouthing. When the two of you comfortably slept those years ago, that was the closest you’ve been. Now, this beats that record. Face to face, body to body, and sharing breaths. 

  After a few moments of thunder and lightning, he kisses you gently. Not at all like the desperate one like before. Realistically, you know these feelings you have for him seem fake. You’ve only had a few moments with him. So, why are they so significant? Are they with him too? Is it possible that love can blossom quickly?

  Gentle kisses turn passionate, never wanting to separate. Little nibbles on the right places and sucks on all of the best ones. Clothes leave, not wanting to get between the two friends, those who dance around each other. For the first time, they meet. 

His hands reach your throat as he kisses you, making sure to give it a light squeeze. His weight is still on you, not hurting in the slightest. Feitan makes sure his hand reaches below and swirls his thumb on your bud. You gasp, surprised you were right about how he’d do it. Every ministration he does is exactly how it was pictured. Your hands don’t compare to it. Not by a long shot. 

  Despite his size, his hands are still bigger than yours. They reach deeper than you and are thicker too. In no time, you come, the bliss lasting a good minute before he sheathes himself inside. His thickness is more than you thought. It’s a bit of a stretch, but in a good way. 

  His gasps quicken with every thrust. You can tell that you're being loud, way louder than when you touched yourself. Feeling the rush and strength of his movements has you claw his back in ecstasy. He groans at the sensation. Finally, after this time of passion and intimacy, you both hold each other as you fall off of that cliff.

  Feitan looks into your eyes. With a softness that no one in the world could’ve predicted the torturer of the Phantom Troupe to have, kisses you. “Don’t cry anymore. Don’t cry.”

 “It’s hard not to when I know you’ll leave.” Silently, Feitan removes himself from inside you. It’s become routine, so you expect him to walk out. He lays back down, his head on your stomach. You run your fingers through his hair. He needs a haircut. 

--

 You wake up, not realizing that you went asleep in the first place. Before you can get up, you feel pressure on your stomach. Feitan rests on you still, eyes completely closed and his face peaceful. The two of you are naked and the only source of heat is each other. As much as you want to wrap your arms around him, you know he’ll react negatively or at least flinch. 

  Soon after, he stretches and rubs his face against your stomach. Like before, he drooled in his sleep. “Good morning.” 

He grunts in response and sits up on his heels. It takes him a moment to remember the night before. His eyes widen as he looks you up and down, making you highly aware of your current state. You cover yourself with a blanket draped over the couch. 

  “I have to go.” Ah, right. He’s a cat. 

He gets dressed. Once he has his boots on, you see him tie them the way you taught him. “Proud of you. You finally learned huh?”

 “Brat.” You laugh a little at him. Once he’s done you ask, “Will I ever see you again?"

He cradles your face. “I come back.” You nod, holding back tears. He studies your face and settles on your eyes. He must have realized that you were trying not to cry. His hands still remain on your face as he kisses you. He lingers there for a minute. A parting kiss, a meaningful one. 

  Something tells you that this feral cat isn’t going away anytime soon. That he’ll always be constant and you won’t be totally alone. A companion you won’t see everyday and only for a night. 

 This is the gift you’ll give him. You’ll be home for him. 

___________________

Months later, news about the Chimera Ants came out. You had already broken up with your boyfriend and heard he had left town to avoid them. Of course, you followed suit and got the hell out of there. 

  Without any plan, you moved back to Meteor City, where you thought that they wouldn’t be. Alas, that was stupid. You made a home base in the residential area. Not knowing that Meteor City was plagued by the wretched beasts. 

  By God’s grace, you managed to avoid them due to you being in the residential district. News that the Phantom Troupe were home to fight them ran rampant. The thought of Feitan made you nervous and you don’t know why. 

  Suddenly, right as you put away your dishes, the door opened. You grabbed a knife and faced the intruder. Standing there was the Phantom Troupe, who once again, barged into your home like they owned the place. 

  “What the hell?” You shout. The first one is Phinks with a wide smile. “There she is! Fei, I found her!”

  You put your hand on your hip. “Seriously, what are you doing her-you’re dragging in mud, take off your shoes!”

 “It’s only a little.” Phinks pouts. “I don’t care! You don’t live here.” 

Phinks and his friends grumble as they do as they’re told. The last one to enter the house is Feitan, who is notably holding his left arm. Without being told, he removes his shoes. 

  “Feitan…” He hasn’t faced you yet. “What happened to your arm?” 

“I’m injured too, (Y/n)!” The smiling boy with round eyes whines. You have no idea what his name is. Only that he and the rest are in Feitan’s gang. 

  “Alright, let me see.” He lays down on your clean table and says, “It’s all over. I need the full treatment!” 

  “Ugh, fine.” You grumble under your breath about the disrespect and your poor table. Finally, Feitan sits on one of the pushed aside chairs. He says, “I need it too.”

  “Big babies.” 

You heal the biggest cry baby completely. The blond, whose name you now know as Shalnark, stretches. “If it weren’t for you, I would’ve been hurting all day!”

  Rolling your eyes, you turn to Feitan who has been silent. He holds out his arm for you. You take the limb and inspect it. 

 “Completely shattered.” He grunts in agreement. He stares into your eyes and gives you a familiar slight smile. You notice that his friends are quiet, not a sound or word among them. 

“You guys alright?” You ask. The girl shakes her head yes and ‘whispers’ to the rest. “Should we leave them alone?”

  “Probably.” A mummy with boxing gloves answers. You’ve never seen him before in your life. 

“Uh, we’ll check the place out. Y’know, make sure it’s safe.” Shalnark shoos the little kid out and into a separate room, your bedroom. “We’ll clear this out in case you guys need it!”

  You huff and roll your eyes. Feitan’s cheeks are red and he’s glaring daggers at his friends. The girl goes outside with the remaining three to check the area. You and your feral cat are alone. 

“What are they checking for? I’m in a residential area.” 

“Ants.” 

  “They’re here? In the safe zone?” You begin to panic until he grabs your hand. “You’re safe now. They’re not in the city anymore.”

“Wha-how? What’s going on?”

  He pinches you lightly, encouraging you to heal his wounds. “Oh, right, right.” Flowers of all colors circle around. They begin to smooth over Feitan’s wounds. You take a second to wipe the blood off of his lip, letting there be some room for the petals to go. 

“How’s the other guy look?”

“She's toasted.” You smile. “Atta boy.”

  He’s healed, the petals and flowers disappear. You lick your lips at the sight of his bare chest. You didn’t notice before due to the audacity of these heathens barging in. 

  His heart rate quickens. “You leave again.”

You nod. “Yeah, yeah I did. I had to, Fei. the Chimera Ants invaded. I had to run.”

“With your boyfriend?”

You let out a small gasp. “ No. How do you know that?” He crosses his arms and leans back in the chair. “You lie.”

“I didn’t lie to you. I just never said anything.”

  “Words of a liar.” You scoff at him. “I did not lie to you. I lied to him. You don’t have any business with our relationship.”

At first, he was looking at his lap. Those grey eyes of his immediately found a new target to glare at. “You’re not with him anymore. ”

“No. Why does that matter?” He begins to tap his foot lightly. “Why did you break up?” 

  “You hungry?” You start to get up until you’re tugged down. “Why?”

When you don’t answer, he whispers in your ear. “Because I fucked you?” Your face is so warm. 

“If we run, we can still make it out.”

“Why are we running?” A small voice asks.

“Because I think they need the room.” 

“Will you two shut up?!” You are two seconds away from running out of your own damn house. You stand and his hands hold you by your hips. “Tell me why you leave him?”

  “Because of you.” It’s embarrassing to tell him your feelings. Hopefully, he can read your mind or something and shut up. He sighs and stands, walking over to you without a hitch. He kisses you. 

  “That’s what you get for lying.” He’s not remorseful or even boastful. Feitan takes your answer in stride. “No more leaving. Stay so I can find you.”

“You’ll always find me, remember?”

______________

Time after that, you were stuck in charge of Chrollo’s lover or something. She’s not too bad but clearly traumatized. Anytime you’d tell her to go with you, she’d look shocked. Like she was surprised she could leave. You were suspicious of her relationship with Chrollo. Something didn’t sit right with you whenever he or Feitan came up. She’d tense up. She never talked about it either. From what you understand with the little information you have, is that she was a former member that raised an orphan and that Chrollo loved her immensely. Perhaps too much.

  From what you know, there was a big showdown on the Dark Continent and the boat that was taking a voyage to the fake one. The Phantom Troupe were on that one at first, fighting Hisoka Marrow. He was a sore loser that got humbled and decided to attack again. 

  Amazingly, only a few died. You didn’t want to know the details or anything. You can’t go through that again. So, after that news, you and Chrollo’s lover parted ways. She went on to find a kid she raised. You, on the other hand, decided to settle out of Meteor City. This was almost a year ago.

  You have an apartment now in the town where you and your boyfriend lived, right next to York New. It’s basic, not fitting any aesthetic or anything. The good thing about it is that it’s bigger than your first one. It’s two bedroom and has a good price. 

   Feitan hasn’t reappeared. It tore you to shreds. You’ve managed to piece yourself together bit by bit, but you are a hollow version of yourself. Surviving and not enjoying the little things you used to. You even saw Jade, Scarlet, Ruby, and the new child, Emerald. Even that heartwarming moment didn’t fulfill you. However, it was the first time you smiled in a while. 

  You stir the food in the pot. Since it’s a little chilly, you made soup. You put the lid over the pot, letting it cook. There’s a knock on the door. You open it and see the man you’ve waited for. 

  Feitan is in dark clothing and has a large scar on his face. There’s no cowl over him, or a large trench coat. His hands are in his pockets, and he looks at you expectantly. You realize that you’ve just been standing there, you move to let him in. Once again, he makes himself at home. 

  “How’ve you been?” 

“You leave again.” He states bluntly. His eyebrows are furrowed and has a frown on his face. 

“Bold of you, very bold.” You move around him. “Why did you go?”

“Because I’d never stay in that city forever. The Ants were gone, the world settled. So why couldn’t I? That place is gross anyway.”

  He sits on the barstool and cracks his neck. You ask a question right after he sits. “How long you here for?”

You don’t know why you asked that. He’ll only be here for a moment. A while ago, you had made the decision to accept it as your gift to him. To love and mourn him when the world won’t. When news about the Phantom Troupe hit, you couldn’t bear to hear it. Their trip to the fake Dark Continent, then their corrected course to the right one, ended in a battle with them facing Hisoka and Illumi and everything else over there. 

  It was too hard for you to think about. That doesn’t mean you didn’t mourn and that you’ve snapped out of it.

   “For good.” 

You look up into his eyes. For the first time in a long time, he’s smiling with soft eyes. You see that he has a dimple on his left cheek. “W-what about-”

“Done for a while. Maybe forever. I know I’m staying.”

   “But your friends, where are they?” He shrugs even though you see the tension. “Separate. We split for a bit.” 

  He rubs his shoulders nervously. “Can I stay with you?” 

“Wow, you’re asking? Shocked.” You tap on the counter. The weight you’ve been carrying is lightened. “Feitan?”

“Yes?” He gets off of the stool and makes his way around the counter. “You know how you give me all those gifts?”

  He nods his head. “Well, this is my gift to you, Feitan Portor. You can stay as long as you like.” 

  He wraps his arms around you. He’s hugging you. This time, you aren’t afraid to hold him back and squeeze. Maybe, just maybe, this is what home is? 

  If the Phantom Troupe resurrects, at least you know he’ll always come home. That you two will be a constant force for each other. No matter if it does or doesn't, you two aren't dancing but admitting things you couldn't. This is home, a gift for each other.  

[moody-alcoholic]

Chapter 2 - The Secret

AN: I gave the reader a bit of backstory here, some people are going to like it some people are not. I'm not going to be making a habit of it promise.

Summary: Simon x reader, 4.4k words. You decide to get to know your colleagues better by accepting an invitation to meet at a pub. But your mind is preoccupied by a figure from the past, and you're starting to learn everyone including you has secrets they don't want to share.

CW: alcohol, stalking, smoking, paranoia, abusive ex.

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AO3

Enjoy <3

When you were a kid, about 9 years old you went over to your aunts house. It was an impromptu trip, your mother drove in the dead of night with you and your brother half asleep in the back seats. Your mother not even changing into proper clothes just pulling on a coat and rushing you into the car. When you arrive she hurried you inside and locked you in the living room with your cousins telling you, you could have the TV on as loud as you wanted just not to come upstairs. An ambulance showed up first then the police. You remember watching the flashing lights out the window. Your cousins were too young to understand what was going on, they thought it was all one big game but you understood.

Your curiosity got the better of you. You cracked open the door of the living room hearing sobs coming from upstairs, all kinds of voices. Some male some female. You closed the door behind you slowly making your way up the stairs. You remember your heart pounding in your chest. You didn’t have to make it all the way up just enough so you could see through the landing to your aunts room. The first thing you saw was blood, more blood then you think you had ever seen. Your mum rubbing your aunts back her arms also covered in blood, sobbing uncontrollably. You froze in place until your mother caught you. She gives you this look of horror, anger then screams at you to get back downstairs and not to leave the living room. You rush down back into the room closing the door behind you.

It was another hour before your mother came to take you and your brother home. She never explained what happened, and you never saw your aunt or cousins again. When you asked about them your mother told you they had moved to live in Spain, and that maybe one day when we were older we could see them again. 

You never went out of your way to see them again, or even track them down. You felt guilty for snooping when you should have just listened. Your mother didn’t need to give you the big lecture on the ‘dangers of being curious’ the nightmares you had for weeks afterwards were enough warning.

—————————— 

Simon didn’t seem mad as you followed him upstairs, he seemed more frustrated he had to do this. Like he would rather let you off this once so it was less work for him.

“Wait out here.” He says as he goes into John’s office, again without knocking. You don’t know what to say, you want to apologise but he wouldn't even let you do that. As soon as you opened your mouth he shut you down. You make your way over to the sofa’s sitting down, your leg starts bouncing nervously as you try to make excuses up in your head. It’s not worth it you were caught red handed. The sound of a door closing has your head snapping to the office but it’s still closed. You hear steps on the metal stairs then see Johnny’s head pop up. He sees you and frowns but he still has a smile on his face. 

“You’re still here lass?” He says looking at his watch and limping over to you. You nod. He must be able to pick up on your nervousness as his smile fades. 

“What happened?” He asks looking back over at John’s office for a second. 

“I did something stupid.” You say hanging your head feeling ashamed. In a way maybe it was worse telling Johnny, he’d been so kind to you now you’d broken his trust. 

“What did you accidentally kill someone?” He asks joking as he sits down next to you. “Was it Simon?” He asks nudging you.

“No. I looked in the store room, was just curious, the door wasn’t closed properly so I looked in.” You say looking up at him.

“You know what they say about curiosity?” He says leaning back on the sofa, his full smile back across his face.

“Curiosity killed the cat?” You say hoping that’s what he wants to hear. 

“Aye, but satisfaction bought it back.” He winks. That made you smile. 

“Do you think I’ll get fired?” You ask rubbing your hands together, Johnny laughs.  

“I reckon Simon’s getting more of a bollocking for leaving the door open then you’ll get fer looking.” Johnny says nudging you again. He’s making you feel less worried, you still feel like a kid who got caught doing something really bad though. The door opens and Simon and John walk out. Johnny gets to his feet walking over to them.

“What are you doing here?” Simon asks. 

“I forgot my wallet but I heard you were getting people into trouble. I had to see for myself. You went easy on him right? ‘E’s not used to being in trouble.” Johnny throws his arm over Simon’s shoulders, he has to stand on his tiptoes to reach. John just chuckles shaking his head and moves out the way.

“C’mon I’ll give you a lift home, ye can tell me how mean Price was being on the way. It’ll be just like the good ol’ days.” Johnny looks over winking at you as Simon shoves his arm off heading down the steps. John moves over to you and you stand up.

“Sit down,” he says smiling, maybe you weren't in trouble. You reluctantly agree, he sit’s in the recliner opposite you. 

“I’m not mad, you’re not in trouble.” He says, you let out a breath you didn’t even know you’d been holding. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn't-” He puts his hand up stopping you. 

“It’s not a big deal. I heard Johnny told you about our past, being in the military?” He says, you nod. 

“Sometimes we get special requests. People who shoot for sport, hunting that sort of thing. The room is kept secure for obvious reasons. It’s not anything you need to concern yourself with, I deal with that side of the job.” He explains. You nod thinking back to the room, most of the weapons looked new modern, like guns you’ve seen in action movies or the type cops carry sometimes. They didn’t look like hunting rifles or sports shotguns, you don’t question it though. It’s not your place. 

“I guess I understand the discretion clause now.” You say letting a small smile come on your lips. He chuckles nodding. 

“What are you doing tomorrow?” He asks. You frown.

“Nothing,” you reply, it’s true. You don’t have to be in work but you’ve made no plans. You’ll probably just spend the day at home watching TV maybe catch up on some series you’ve been putting off watching. 

“Every other Saturday we go out for drinks. You’re welcome to join us? I didn’t know if you would be interested since you only started yesterday but the invite is there.” He says getting up. 

“I’ll think about it.” You say not waning to commit to anything. John nods.

“Okay, well I’ll send you the address and if you come great if not we’ll see you Monday.” He says. 

“Thanks,” you say also getting up picking your coat off the chair. John nods heading back into the office as you make your way out through the building. You let out a big sigh of relief as you make it outside heading home. What kind of service to they provide with the weapons? Do they just sell them? That makes the most sense, I guess you would need a lot of licences for that. You don’t know anything about gun laws but you assume them being ex-military helps, maybe that’s where they got the guns from in the first place? Now this has just made you more curious, more questions, questions you don’t think you’ll ever get answers too.  

—————————— 

Saturday morning you’re still deciding if you want to go out for drinks tonight. John texted you the address and you found out through Google it’s a local pub, another place in walking distance. You text Johnny so he has your number of course the first thing he asks is if you’re coming tonight. That makes you smile. You can’t help thinking Simon is mad with you in someway? Johnny and Gaz are great, kind, smiling. Even John though he’s your boss manages to put you at ease so well. Simon has a darker presence around him, he intrigues you though, he’s on your mind more. He’s like another secret you want to crack. Maybe you’re being too nosy, probably, but you don’t care you want to know who Simon really is.

You pick up your packet of cigarettes off the table. You’ll smoke one then decide, otherwise you’re just going to ignore them which is rude. You go out onto the balcony, it’s chilly today but as soon as you light the cigarette and inhale your body begins to warm. You’re starting to relax when your phone rings you take it out, it’s a number you don’t know. You’re so close to ignoring it but you pick it up anyway. 

“Hello,” You say. There is silence on the line for a few seconds, or maybe you can hear moment you’re not sure but it makes the hairs stand up on the back of your neck.

“Hey baby, I just needed to hear your voice.” Your body freezes you don’t know what to do. It’s a voice you never hoped to hear again. You should hang up, screw that you want to throw the phone. 

“Are you there baby?” It’s like ringing in your ears, he sounds… kind, sad. Like when he treated you right, doted on you. When he would take you to bed and treat you like a princess. His voice is low almost humming in your ear, it makes your heart skip a beat.  

“H-how did you get my number?” You ask hearing your voice break. 

“I miss you baby I’m so sorry please can I see you?” It’s too much you hang up the phone. You look out the balcony. What if he’s nearby? What if he did that so he could see you? and your reaction? You take a long drag off your cigarette but it’s not calming your nerves now. You drop the rest of it on the floor rushing inside and dead-bolting the door.

Your hands are shaking when the phone rings again it’s the same number you decline and block it. Great now you’re going to have to change your number again. This will be the second time this month, you swallow hard going over to your laptop. It feels like there is a lump in your chest you can’t get rid of. You go to your phone companies website to request the number change. It’s going to take a few days to processes the request and get a new sim-card sent.

You feel better, it makes you feel better like you’re in control. From now on all unknown numbers are going to voicemail. You say to yourself trying to keep calm. You just can’t shake the feeling you’re being watched though, he knows where you live, you lived together for 2 years. You wanted to move but you didn’t have the money for a new deposit. Maybe now is a good time though. You start calculating in your head how long you would need to save to afford another deposit, by your calculations maybe in 2 months time. You want to look at flats available in your area but you’re paranoid he’s looking in on your devices. You don’t know why, maybe it’s just because he called you and your senses are on high alert but you don’t feel safe right now. You pull your phone out and text John.

I’ll be there tonight.

You want to get out of this flat, somewhere public where you can distract yourself. Besides being surrounded by hunky ex-SAS soldiers is not a bad way to spend your time if you’re feeling paranoid. You look back at your phone a text from John.

Great see you at 7.

—————————— 

You show up late to the pub, not on purpose your neighbour had stopped you in the hallway and she’s always so chatty. She was asking about the boyfriend situation too, it just made you want to get out of that building as fast as possible. You were practically running to the pub to meet them, you just needed to get out of that flat. As soon as you walk in while unzipping your coat Johnny calls you over. You smile when you see him and walk over to the table. Kyle and John are there too but you don’t see Simon. you wonder if he decided not to come after he found out you had been invited.

“What’s your poison?” Johnny asks as you hang your coat over the back of a chair.

“I can get it,” you insist. 

“Don’t be silly sit down lass it’s all going on the company card anyway.” Johnny winks at John who sighs. 

“Eh, cider, anything but beer.” You say shrugging. Although you could really do with something stronger.

Johnny goes over to the bar as you sit down. 

“Where’s Simon?” you ask realising there are 4 drinks on the table already. 

“Bathroom,” Kyle says as reaches forward and takes another sip of his drink. Before you know it Johnny is back with your drink. You thank him and he sits down next to you. It’s a few seconds later when you see Simon come out of the bathroom. He’s not wearing a mask, or his signature hoodie. You watch him as he crosses the bar back over to the table. He’s handsome, not what you expected. His hair is blonde, curly like you suspected but in the warm lights of the pub makes it look golden. He’s wearing a t-shirt and you can see his left arm is covered in tattoos.

His eyes meet yours and you look away blushing, realising you’ve been staring for way too long. You reach forward and take a long sip of your cider as he sits down. You get a better look at his tattoos before flicking your eyes over to Kyle, who has started a conversation with John you were not listening to. He’s talking about his family, from what you can understand he’s got quite a big family they all live in London. John seems to know each of them asking him how they are and if his sister has had her baby yet. The questions then turn to you. 

“You got a family?” Kyle asks. 

“My mum and brother, my dad died a few years back, heart attack.” You say trying to keep it short and sweet.

“Aw, sorry ‘bout that lass.” Johnny says nudging you.

“It’s fine,” you smile. 

“What about your brother?” Kyle asks. 

“He’s in uni studying computer science or computer engineering, something to do with computers. He’s the smart one.” You chuckle, taking another sip of your drink. 

“Johnny’s good with computers.” Kyle says. “Well kind of.” The rest of them laugh, you don’t know why it’s funny must be an inside joke. Simon doesn't say much, he listens to the conversations and inputs if people ask him things directly but he keeps quiet. Your eyes keep wondering over to him to try and read his expression, you flick your eyes away each time he looks at you feeling embarrassed for staring. 

“That’s not true Gaz.” You hear Johnny scoff you realise you haven’t been paying attention. 

“What is the deal with the nicknames?” You ask. John chuckles.

“They’re our old military nicknames, like a call-sign so we can identify each other easily.” Johnny explains. 

“What does yours mean then?” You ask Johnny. 

“See lass I was so good at my job, I used to clear buildings so fast they called me Soap.” He nudges you. 

“Clear buildings, like with enemies?” You ask, realising how little you know about anything military. 

“Yeah, or hostages, bombs you name it!” He says enthusiastically. 

“What about Ghost,” you look over at Simon. 

“He used to tell us ghost stories before bed.” Johnny said. You look over at Simon rolling his eyes. You don’t believe Johnny but you don’t question it, you finish your drink and stand up, grabbing your coat.

“Leaving already?” Johnny asks pouting. You reach into your pocket and pull out the packet of cigarettes. 

“Just a smoke.” You say smiling. Johnny sighs, he seems disappointed. 

You go out the pub cigarette already in your mouth as you stand to the side off the main pavement. You’re trying to light it, turning away from the wind as your lighter fails to spark. 

“Come on.” You mutter under your breath. You hear footsteps behind you it makes the hairs stand up on the back of your neck. You freeze trying to quickly get it lit so you can turn around. You hear the steps getting closer you turn. It’s Simon, with a cigarette hanging out his mouth. You take a deep breath out looking around quickly. You hate being this much on edge, fucking Joe, why did he have to call you

“Need a light?” He asks after lighting his own. You reach out your hand.

“Sure, thanks.” You say, lighting your cigarette and taking a deep breath in. You hand the lighter back to him. 

“I didn’t know you smoked. I thought all military guys had to be fit and healthy.” You say, you don’t know why that came across like a dig. 

“Yeah well, ex-military.” He says. You look at him, you can’t help yourself watching him more. He really is handsome, his features are being lit up by the warm glow from the pub, his strong defined muscles. Like the others but bigger, and you still can’t help being so intrigued by him. He’s such a mystery. 

“What about you, wouldn’t put you down as a smoker.” He says almost like a retaliation to your comment. 

“Yeah well, just a habit I picked up.” You say looking at the cigarette between your fingers. You weren't going to admit it was a habit you picked up a year into your relationship so you could get some alone time. Your ex hated smoking, wouldn’t even let you sit near him or touch him until you had washed your body and brushed your teeth. Smoking was your own little rebellion, regardless of the fights it bought. 

“I’m sorry about the storeroom thing I didn’t mean to get you into trouble.” You say.

“It’s alright, it was your first day. Besides nothing happened.” He replies looking down at you. His eyes look like burnt caramel in the light, not as scary as they seem to be when he covers his face. 

“So what’s the real reason? Why Ghost?” You ask. He seems to freeze for a second taking a longer puff on the cigarette. 

“Can you go invisible or something?” You joke, his expression doesn’t change. You can’t pinpoint what he’s thinking, he always looks ether bored or like he’s distracted by something way off in the distance. 

“I can do lot’s of things. Ghost is just a name.” He says, his voice cold, maybe you should drop it, but you’re too curious.

“Where you like an assassin? A ghost in the night?” you joke again, trying to get some reaction from him. He sighs. 

“You watch too many films.” He says. You sigh taking in another breath of smoke.  

“What about family, do you have any?” You ask, that’s a simple question. He looks at you again, this time his eyes turn hard, like their burning into the back of your skull. You shiver. He drops the rest of his cigarette. 

“No.” He says and heads back inside. Idiot. You say to yourself. Clearly family is a touchy subject. On the plus side at least you have learned something about him. You finish the last of your cigarette and turn to dump it in the trash. You step back out to the pavement looking down the street. You’re eyes catch something in the distance. You stop for a second craning your head to look. You blink, it looks like Joe. It’s not him you’re being paranoid. You force your body to move back inside the pub your head lingering on him for as long as it can before he leaves your line of sight. It’s not him, you’re just being paranoid. You repeat to yourself as you sit down, there is a new drink now and you happily swallow a big gulp.

The rest of the evening goes well, you feel like you’re leaning a lot about them. They share stories even Simon comes out his shell a little more to talk about past work and missions. They complain about customers, old generals and bosses. You try to remember as much of the lingo as possible so the next time they say it you’ll have a better understanding. They ask you more about you, what you want to do with life, how often do you see your family that kind of stuff. You keep your answers short and sweet happy to just listen to them talk and reminiscing, their lives were way more interesting after all.

You try to ignore the fact that you think you saw Joe, you didn’t he was too far away for you to tell. You’re just being paranoid, it’s because he called you. You remind yourself. Around 10 you decide to take your leave. Johnny gives you a hug and offers to walk you home a offer you almost accept, but politely refuse explaining you only life a few streets away. Everyone else including Simon says they’ll see you on Monday and you bid them farewell. When you step out the pub your head automatically looks down to the street you thought you saw Joe. He’s definitely not there now. You take a big breath in of cool London air and head home.

—————————— 

The trip back to your flat had you on edge, the streets were dark and almost every noise had you pulling your jacket tighter and walking faster. You almost want to kick yourself for being so paranoid, you just need to relax. He’s gone, this is the first time you’ve heard from him in almost 2 weeks. It’s just your mind playing tricks on you. When you get to the top of the stairs you bump into Alice again. 

“Back already?” She says. “I thought you’d be out all night.” 

“No, I wasn’t feeling well.” You say, hoping that will explain your current state without her prying too much. You should have known better this is Alice, the same Alice who know’s things about you before you even know them. 

“Aww, do you need anything? I have some herbal tea thats good for your stomach.” She says. 

“No thank you.” You say putting your hand on your door handle. “Hey Alice, have you seen Joe around at all, since we broke up?” She frowns for a second thinking. 

“No I don’t think so. Do you think he’s stalking you!? I knew he gave me a bad vibe.” She says sounding shocked.

“You should go to the police get a restraining order.” She says, her eyes wide, at least she’s got some juicy gossip to spread around now. She would get on well with your mum. 

“No it’s okay, I think I’m just tired.” You say, trying to believe it as the words leave your mouth. She nods smiling and you head into your flat. 

You’re sat on the sofa watching TV when there is a knock at the door. You jump, putting your glass of wine down on the coffee table and getting up. Your heart is beating in your chest, your head going to places you don’t want it to. What if it’s him? Then you ignore it, he can’t get in, you had the locks changed. You remind yourself. You look through the peephole, it’s Alice. You let out a sigh undoing the dead-bolt and unlocking the door. 

“Hey, sorry to bother you.” She says as soon as she sees you. 

“My sister, you know the one in the east-end? Well she had a problem with her ex stalking her. Anyway I spoke to her and she gave me the name of the people she used to get him to stop.” Alice hands you a piece of folded paper, you open it.

“SDS?” You say confused for a second then it hits you like a brick. No it can’t be, it must be a coincidence. 

“Yeah, Special Delivery Service, it looks like a normal delivery company but it’s not. It’s really cleaver actually. Just submit a request for a quote but select the special services option. My sisters stalker was gone within the week.” Alice says whispering like she’s sharing the worlds best kept secret. You’re just stood their with your mouth hanging open. 

“They’re really discrete, bit pricey though.” She says. You feel like all your blood is rushing to your face. You pocket the paper stepping back inside.

“T-Thank you Alice,” you say, trying to keep calm.

“No problem,” she replies as you close the door. You click the deadbolt in place. This can’t be real. You walk back over to the sofa picking up your phone and going to the website. You click the option to get a quote, it’s a standard from, wanting information like company name, address, e-mail ect.. Then you see the drop-down you press it and it lists a bunch of options but right at the bottom ‘special services.’ You click it and the page changes now there are only two boxes for e-mail and phone number and a message. 

You will be contacted with in 24 hours.

You swallow hard, thinking back to the room of weapons you saw. Alice said her sisters stalker was gone within a week does that mean he’s dead? Surly not the police would know if there was a company going around killing people. A company you now worked for. They didn’t seem like dangerous people, ex-military aside they seemed like pretty down to earth people just enjoying an easy job. You needed proof, you needed to know what was going on. You needed to get back into that store room.  

Next

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[justaragdollysblog]

The Sauce That Makes You Stupid

wanted to do a fic about a concept i’ve seen a few people talking about! this fic will contain mentions of drugs and dependencies

if you ever need assistance w something like this or someone to talk to, (800) -222-122 is a hotline! pls stay safe <33

TW: Drug Dependency, Anxiety, Mentions of tripping, Hurt/comfort

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4 days, 96 hours, 30 minutes and 20 seconds.

That’s how long it’s been since the fast food adventure.

That’s how long since Ragatha got the sauce in her eye. How long since she rubbed it in.

She hadn’t been able to relax since.

Sure, relaxation was hardly common in the circus anyways. There was always a slight urgency and alertness, even in the late hours of the night. No one really truly was safe.

But, after the effects wore off, Ragatha told herself it was a one time thing. No big deal. She’d move on, and the whole experience would fade to the back of her mind like all the rest of them.

Then why couldn’t she stop thinking about the sauce?

She was currently in her coquette bedroom, fiddling with her red yarn locks. Her foot was tapping against the floor quietly. She needed to stay moving; but she had no idea why.

Her mind drifted as she recalled the adventure. It was all hazy after that mannequin demanded the burger. The sauce. The sauce that makes you stupid. The sauce that makes you feel like you’re made of electricity when it’s gone.

Ragatha’s eye then drifted to her closet. Truthfully, it wasn’t gone. She had smuggled a bottle in, opting to explain it as ‘horseradish sauce’ to Caine. He didn’t see a problem with it.

She eyed the handle. No, she couldn’t think like that. There was no way she’d look at the stuff again. She was mean to her friends and basically useless on it.

No way. Nope.

Ragatha moved before her mind could catch up with her. She walked over to her closet, and opened the doors. Behind a few dresses sits the bottle.

Just a little, then she’d be done. Just a little bit and she’d never do it again. She shakily reached out for the bottle, holding it as she stared at it.

She raised the bottle over her head, aiming for her eye. She was about to apply pressure, when-

“Ragatha!”

She yelped in surprise and scrambled to try and hide the sauce. The voice belonged to Pomni, who was standing in the doorway with a nervous and concerned expression.

“Pomni! What a surprise! What are you doing here?” Ragatha spoke a little too quickly and a little too frantically. Some of her red yarn hair was sticking out in places.

Pomni eyed her worriedly. “Um, the theme’s about to start. Have you…slept at all?” She asked, uncomfortably shifting her position.

Ragatha blinked. It was already theme time? “Oh, I’m fine! Right as rain, Poms. Just didn’t sleep, you know how it is here!” She forced a smile.

Pomni didn’t miss how her hands seemed to grasp on to anything to fidget, and how her closet door was open. “Right…uh, why’s your closet open?”

Ragatha internally cursed herself for not closing it. “Oh! Just…getting ready for the day. Hard to get prepared without proper clothes!”

Pomni shakily nodded. She knew something had to be up. Ragatha was never this frantic and skittish. However, she surmised, it wouldn’t be solved right now. The gang was waiting and the theme wouldn’t complete without them.

“Well, I guess we better head out to the stage. Maybe we can try to hang out later after the adventure!” She suggested, managing a hopeful smile.

Ragatha hesitated, eyes darting to the closet and back quickly. She could feel something terrifying stitch itself in her threads. Something horrid.

She shook her head, dispelling the thoughts. “Yeah, let’s go.”

She headed out with her, closing the door behind them. She’d be okay. She didn’t even really need it.

She just had to wait until the evening.

————————————————————

Hi guys! I wanted to try and tackle a different subject matter in this fic! i hope i did an okay job :)))

pls don’t hesitate to reach out if you’re struggling!

reblogs are appreciated! see you guys next time!

[not-jeguluses]

✶ tunnel vision ✶

for @jeguluskinktoberr day 15 : masturbation ✰ 995 words ; t4t mutual masturbation ; first time fluff ; praise

CROSS-POSTED ON AO3 HERE | nsfw

They’re house sitting for James’ parents when Regulus suggests it.

“What?” James asks, almost spitting out his butterbeer. They had been in the middle of their yearly Practical Magic rewatch.

Suddenly, the younger man seems defensive. “It was just an idea,” he says, pouting.

“No, I was just making sure I heard you correctly,” James assures him, mopping up the bit of his beverage that dribbled out of his mouth with a napkin. “Is that really something you want?”

“Are you kidding? It sounds hot as fuck, don’t be ridiculous.”

And James has to agree. The idea of touching himself with Regulus watching him, touching himself for James, the idea was intoxicating. Truth be told, he was already getting a bit wet at just the thought.

“Okay. Let’s do it,” James says, eyes blazing with determination.

So, that’s how they end up in James' childhood bed, pantsless and facing each other. They’d made out a bit before taking some of their clothing on and with that and his imagination, James was properly aroused. The knowledge that Regulus can surely tell, with the moisture gathering at his entrance and on display with his boyfriend, only has him feeling hotter.

“You look so gorgeous, James. Will you touch yourself for me? Please, baby.”

James thighs clench at the request and he trails his fingers down to his labia. He whimpers as he sinks his digits into the warm folds, playing with his opening.

“Wow,” Regulus breathes, moving his own hand in response. He places his entire hand over his cunt and uses all of his fingers to stimulate his cock and his hole. There’s a wet, vulgar noise to match his slick movement and it’s that sound that gets James off more than the visual.

Though, the visual is otherworldly.

James slides two of his fingers to his cock, inching his hips forward so that his knees are touching Regulus, making him swallow dryly in arousal. He circles the engorged nerves, crying out at the touch on his sensitive cunt.

“Yes!” Regulus shouts. “You sound so pretty. Look even prettier.”

“Regulus!” James sobs.

“I know, James. I know,” Regulus coos, his fingers moving faster. “You gonna fingerfuck yourself for me? Make that pretty cunt come all over your own hands while I watch?”

This time, it’s Regulus who moves closer, wrapping a leg around James. Regulus' thigh now rests over his own and James can’t help but reach out to touch the warm skin. He digs his fingers into the flesh and sinks the two fingers playing with his clit into his drooling hole.

“Oh, fuck,” he moans. “Feels so good, Regulus.”

“Love the way you sound, saying my name like that. I could come from your voice alone.”

It’s all James can do to continue to emit the most desperate sounds as he steadily pumps his fingers in and out of his cunt. He can’t take his eyes off Regulus' own fingers, he’s got three of them now rapidly flying over his own moistened cock. Regulus has hardly been quiet either.

“Can’t wait to get my hands on you,” he is saying now. “Want to learn how to touch you, make you come.” He’s much more vocal than he is outside of the bedroom and James is not complaining.

“Please.” James has figured out the proper angle to ride his fingers as he rubs his clit at the same time. He knows he’s close, his thighs shaking against Regulus' and his breath coming in heaving pants.

Regulus watches James hungrily, even licking his lips occasionally. James wants to kiss him but doesn’t have the finesse to do it while he continues to get himself off. He thinks of the wicked tongue his boyfriend possesses and how it feels entwined with his, aware of the way his moans pick up pitch.

Regulus hips have started to twitch infrequently as he works his hand diligently and James thinks finds it unfairly sexy. “Are you going to come for me, baby?” Regulus asks.

“Unfair,” James whines, referring to the rare pet name use. “I want to see you go first.”

“Yeah?” Regulus exhales. “Fuck, come here.”

James is enveloped in Regulus' hold as he’s brought into a passionate kiss. Somehow, James' hand never leaves from the space between his thighs and neither does Regulus'. The younger man moans into his mouth deliciously as he comes, groaning into James' mouth and scratching his nails down the back of his neck.

“Oh,” James whimpers, “I’m—” is all he can get out before he’s following his boyfriend over the edge. He locks eyes with Regulus and the feeling is overwhelming, the sky is falling and the streets are flooding. James is heaving, now, lightheaded as Regulus whispers sweet words into his chest.

Regulus' arms come to wrap around James’ figure, holding him close as he pets his hair. “You did so good. You were perfect. Love you so much.”

James' insides are warm with the afterglow and the affection. Regulus hardly says the words and when he does, it never fails to make James feel special. It’s not that the older man doesn’t feel loved by Regulus. The man shows James every day how much he cares for him. He’s always looking out for James, making sure he is taking care of himself and telling him how attractive he finds him. Regulus is always holding onto James tightly and kissing him tenderly, like it might be the last time.

Every time James had pictured being intimate with someone for the first time, he had always imagined that he would feel embarrassed afterwards; ashamed of his body and dissatisfied with the experience. But instead, James just feels extraordinarily special and sexy.

“Did you like it, darling?” Regulus asks sweetly, pulling James down on top of him to allow the older man to lay on him.

“The best, my love. I love you, too.”

And the pair fell in love, still naked and satiated.

[just-a-hooman64]

After Neo Agent 3 defeated Octavio in the crater, he had completely disappeared.

In all honesty the Agent had forgotten about the DJ. He never showed up at any of the Alternan islands. Honestly it was impressive how such a big octopus could vanish without a trace. When Octavio had appeared again in the fight against the bear, the Agent didn't get a chance to glance at him. It was only when they landed back on Earth did they notice the fuzz that was smeared across half of his body. Before they could say anything, the DJ shooed them away as he scuttled to one of the storage crates that scattered the landscape. What a weird guy. When Neo 3 returned to the NEW New Squidbeak Splatoon base, they instantly got bodied with questions from Agent 1 as she shook them back and fourth by the shoulders. With a Dizziness growing in their head, they pointed towards the crate. A large thud emanated from the rectangular vessel when they did, what comical timing. DJ Octavio was in there, and something had happened.

When Callie opened the crate doors, she wouldn't have recognized the Octoling that was sprawled across the ground if she didn't recognize Royal Octarian Emblem that was clearly pinned to the old man's clothes.

Erm.... what the scallop.....

Yall remember that Half Mammalian Octavio design I mentioned... yea.,,,

I'll probably make a proper reference sheet for him soonish since there's a lot about him that are not pictured here, but this was sitting in my files begging to be posted so! Here yall go!

(Ive been super busy recently so I cannot guarantee anything new getting posted SOON soon.. but it'll be soon..)

This whole thing is inspired by Octavio getting completely BODIED by fuzzy ooze when the crater caves in. Unfortunately i do NOT think he would be able to walk that off scott free

Pictured here ^^ (Screenshot is from Jaymoji's Splatton 3 Story Mode video)

That old man got CAKED in the stuff, so I figured this could be something cool to explore. Yes I have a reason why he is no longer perma-swim form, yes I have a reason for his different eyeball, and yes I have a reason for only one of his hands being stained Wasabi green. I'll get around to explaining things--most likely in that aforementioned reference sheet post.

Here is a version without Callie's text and shadow

If youve made it this far nd read everythang,,, thank you !! Octavio has been spinning in my brain for like a full month now and I have had SO many thoughts about him that I can't wait to share! I hope my little drabble wasn't too poorly written lol, I am very rusty to say the least

Without further ado! I hope whoever is reading this has a wonderful day! Stay Freshh!!

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 23

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words : 5k

Masterlist

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Saturday, December 5th; 11:00 AM - Ona and Alexia’s Room

I gradually begin to emerge from my sleep. I’m lying on my stomach and stretch without any restraint. I take the opportunity to grab my phone from my nightstand. I'm surprised when I see the time. It’s the first time I’ve slept until 11:00 AM at school.

“The groundhog is finally up.”

I groan in frustration at the sound of that voice. She’ll never leave me alone, will she? I thought I’d at least have some peace on my Saturday morning. I don’t even want to know how long she’s been here waiting for me. Bronze hasn’t left me alone since our visit to the doctor. I was so fed up that I insisted on returning to classes on Wednesday morning instead of Thursday just to get away from her. I was still slightly sick, and of course, my return didn’t go unnoticed in class. But at least Bronze allowed me to stay with them and start revising for my upcoming exams that day. It didn’t stop her from continuing to hover over me, though. I almost regret deciding to stay here this weekend. Especially since Joan would kill me if he knew I could go home. Two months ago, I would have been the first to run away from school. But this weekend is different. Bronze promised we’d go out to do our Christmas shopping. She seemed to like the idea when I suggested it, saying she’d use the opportunity to buy her gifts too. I take the time to stretch again before rolling onto my back. I’m surprised not to see her by my side as usual. I prop myself up on my elbows to look for her. I quickly spot her sitting on my desk, her feet swinging in the air.

“Can’t you give me a break?” I chuckle, letting myself fall back onto my pillow.

“You’re stuck with me, whether you like it or not,” she teases.

“Especially this week,” I sigh, closing my eyes again. “How long have you been here?”

“I just got back about fifteen minutes ago.”

I place my hand over my eyes to shield myself from the light, taking a deep breath. Since yesterday, I can finally breathe through my nose again. It’s pure bliss! Especially for Alexia, who wouldn’t stop complaining about my snoring. I’m relieved that the medication is finally working. The doctor wasn’t so clueless after all. At least he knows how to do his job. I’ve got a few days left on the antibiotics. If it were up to me, I would have stopped taking them yesterday, but Bronze insists that I finish them all to ensure I’m fully recovered. I still cough a bit and occasionally have a hoarse voice, but otherwise, it’s all gone. In fact, I’m coughing right now, like my life depends on it. It’s a phlegmy cough, which according to Bronze, is a good sign.

“If you don’t hurry up and get ready, we’ll have to eat here.”

That sentence had the desired effect. In less than ten seconds, I’m on my feet, not caring that I’m only wearing an old T-shirt of my dad’s. If we stay here, she’ll make me eat soup again. If not, I noticed there’s cabbage on the menu for lunch, and I hate that. Better to eat out so I can finally have a proper meal. I grab some fresh clothes and then have to pass by Bronze to get to the bathroom. Unexpectedly, she blocks my way by putting her foot on the bar of my bed. I almost fell backward from the unexpected impact.

“What now?” I grumble.

“Open your mouth.”

I roll my eyes as I accept the spoonful of syrup. I’ve stopped arguing with her since she’s taken my medical care so seriously. I feel like a child, but it seems to make her happy. The upside is that I’m healing quickly by letting her take care of me. I’d never have taken this much syrup and nasal spray without her. She finally lets me pass, a silly smile on her lips. I don’t bother closing the bathroom door behind me since she can’t see me from where she is and I just need a quick freshening up since I showered last night. I get dressed, finish up with my hair, and check myself in the mirror one last time to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything. I return to the room, where Bronze still hasn’t moved. I must not have taken long thanks to my morning routine. She doesn’t notice me as she’s absorbed in her phone.

“I’m ready,” I inform her.

“You get motivated so easily,” she smiles, looking up.

“I wasn’t going to say no when you’re finally letting me have a proper meal! I swear, if you offer me soup one more time, I don’t know what I’ll do to you.”

She chuckles, jumping off my desk. We put on our jackets, and I grab my bag before following her outside. I understand why she wanted me to hurry when I see Engen at the front desk. She wanted to make sure we could leave without being noticed by anyone else. Bronze drives more carefully than usual due to the snow that hasn’t stopped falling for days. It’s still snowing today, in fact. It’s surprising to see the roads so clear with all this snowfall.

“Does it always snow this much here?”

“I’d say so. Why?”

“It doesn’t snow at Barcelona.”

“That, I believe. It came late this year, but now I think it’s here to stay for a while.”

Everything is white, except for the road. I could get used to this scenery. There must be a good ten centimeters of snow. I’m glad I brought my boots. I’ll try to take the opportunity to look for a new jacket. At least I won’t have to keep borrowing Bronze’s, even though I really like it.

“You’re not used to this weather, are you?”

“No, not at all,” I chuckle. “I’m just not used to the cold.”

“You said you were from Portugal, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Where exactly?”

“Lisbon.”

“Porto, for me.”

“So it’s true. You’re from Portugal too?”

“Yes, of course,” she smiles. “When did you move to Barcelona?”

I tense up immediately. Bronze quickly apologizes, realizing she’s crossed a line. I tell her it’s fine, even though it does affect me. This is where everything sort of started. I turn my head towards the window before beginning my explanation.

“My parents separated when I was ten. My mom received an offer from a Barcelona hospital that she couldn’t refuse. It was the perfect chance for a fresh start, especially since she’s originally from there.”

“I see. Didn’t you want to stay with your dad? You seem close to him.”

“Believe me, if it had been up to me, I would have stayed in Lisbon, but my dad was in the military. He couldn’t keep me with him.”

I freeze, realizing too late that I spoke in the past tense. I glance at Bronze, who either hasn’t noticed or is hiding it well. She just nods. I relax a little, sinking back into my seat.

“I’d love to go back one day,” I confide. “Not necessarily to Lisbon, but I’d like to live in Portugal again.”

“Really? Do you miss it?”

“Let’s just say I have all my memories there. I used to go back during the holidays when my dad wasn’t on a mission… It was my refuge.”

“Stay here in Manchester if you want a change of scenery.”

We’ve had this conversation before not too long ago. She knows I’m thinking about it. I didn’t expect her to encourage me to do it.

“You said you were starting to like it here, so why not?”

“It’s a possibility. I��ve thought about it, but it’s more complicated than that. How am I supposed to live here? I’d be unemployed, and on top of that, I’d be coming from a damn camp… I’m not sure that makes a good impression on a resume.”

“Would you like to live here?”

I don’t answer right away. I weigh the pros and cons of her question. In reality, I have no idea. I don’t know anything except the camp. I’ve had a taste of the city, but not in depth.

“No idea,” I shrug. “I don’t know much, really. I’d like to visit the city sometime.”

She seems to be thinking. I had asked her before to give me a tour, but we never revisited the topic. I didn’t want to seem pushy by insisting. If it happens, I want the offer to come from her. She was about to say something but then stops herself and completely changes the subject, telling me she knows some nice places near the mall for lunch. As long as there’s no soup involved, I don’t care where she takes me. A few minutes later, we arrive at our destination. It’s a small, cozy restaurant. We’re warmly welcomed and quickly seated. It’s not too crowded. It seems like the kind of place with lots of regulars. We ordered our drinks first, then our meals. I got a chicken cordon bleu. It’s my first real meal of the week, and I plan to enjoy it now that I can finally eat something solid again. Bronze smiled amusedly at my order. I wasn’t joking when I said I’d strangle her if she offered me soup one more time.

“I have a proposal for you,” she says seriously.

“What kind of proposal?”

“I’ll give you a tour of the city one weekend when you get a pass.”

“Really? Like, a whole weekend?”

“Yes, a whole weekend,” she laughs. “I’ll host you so we can have more freedom. That way, you can get a feel for the city. But I’d prefer if we do it after the Christmas holidays.”

I can’t believe it. She finally offered! A whole weekend at her place and a tour of the city. What more could I ask for? She really got me earlier when she changed the subject! I can barely resist jumping for joy. She’s doing everything she can to make me happy. I should pay for the meal, actually. Not only because she paid last time, but also to thank her for everything she’s done for me. I’m probably the only student she treats like this, after all.

“I’ll take that as a yes?”

I nod enthusiastically, my wide smile never leaving my face. She laughs softly. To think that back in early October, I couldn’t stand her. Now, I’m not sure I could do without her. We’ve reached a point where we’re eating out together at a restaurant. Our food arrives shortly after. That was incredibly fast. My stomach growls at the sight of my dish. I barely manage a quick “Bon appétit” before diving into the food. I close my eyes, savoring the meat. I even let out a little moan, which makes Bronze laugh.

“Don’t make fun of me! You’re the one who deprived me of decent food for a week.”

“You’re the one who was sick and didn’t have an appetite until today.”

I stick out my tongue at her, and her smile widens. We eat leisurely, chatting about my classes and revisions, which are already getting on my nerves. However, I have to admit that her lessons are paying off. Her supervision motivates me to keep going and make my goal possible. My math teacher, who’s also my homeroom teacher, gave me a schedule for the tests I agreed to retake. I’ll be taking one or two after my classes under Bronze’s supervision in a classroom. Without these new tests, I would have had an extra week to prepare for the final exams of the semester, which are scheduled for the last week before the holidays. I would have preferred to take everything in the last week, but Bronze thought that was too much and suggested I take the others the week before. So, I’ll have two very busy weeks in a row. I feel like I won’t be getting much sleep in the coming nights, even if Bronze manages to help me revise effectively.

“By the way, do you have any plans for New Year’s?”

“Oh, so I’m allowed to celebrate that one?”

Has she already forgotten that she banned me from parties? I’d regret reminding her if that’s the case. January 1st falls on a Friday, and we start right back up on Monday from what I’ve seen. I can’t afford to mess up anyway. I had some major bouts of depression after my detox. Bronze had to reassure me several times to keep me from spiraling into guilt over my actions. To her, I’m not to blame. Just for her support, I can’t let her down. Seeing her disappointed because of me would hurt. Moreover, the decision about the electives will be made during the class council at the beginning of the year. You can’t say that the decision is in my favor at the moment. So, I need to be present in class and make a good impression if I want it to be favorable. I’m both excited and nervous about that moment arriving. There will be a change in class and schedule starting in the third week. The only thing that scares me is ending up alone. None of my friends seem to have the same options as me, especially not Alexia. It’s annoying because she’s the person I appreciate the most here.

“As long as you’re reasonable,” she shrugs. “So, any plans?”

“To be honest, no. I haven’t planned anything yet. I’m thinking about spending it with Mapi in Barcelona, but we haven’t seriously discussed it.”

“You don’t talk to her?”

“Yes, we write to each other every day… well, we just catch up briefly,” I say, lowering my head. “Between our classes, my cold, and her girlfriend… it’s limited.”

“Does it bother you?”

“Well, a little, yeah,” I admit. “I know she won’t replace me, but it bothers me to be far from her. She was my confidante before—”

“Before…?” she furrows her brows. “Isn’t that the case anymore?”

I run my hand over my face. Damn… I made the mistake of looking into her eyes. She doesn’t even realize the effect she has on me, or maybe she knows how to use it. I look away before murmuring a weak, “Before you…”

“What do you mean, ‘before me’?”

“Well… since I’ve been here, I find it easier to confide in you. I told her about it, and since then, she’s been encouraging me to do it…”

“I see. And what’s the problem?”

“Well, let’s just say she doesn’t know everything about my past. She must think that over time, I’ll be able to confide in you completely, and that’s why she encourages me. She thinks it’ll be a relief to finally tell someone.”

“And what do you think?”

“Well… she might not be wrong,” she shrugs. “But I’m afraid she’ll resent me for doing it later. I don’t want her to think she’s less important or that she’ll blame herself for not getting me to open up… I don’t really know, but all I know is that I care too much about her to risk losing her.”

I’ve already abandoned her once, and I don’t want her to think it’ll happen again. I don’t want to push her away or exclude her from my life. She’s the only one who came back and who I really care about. It would be the ultimate irony if she thought she’d failed as my best friend.

“Have you talked to her about it?”

“No, she’d think I’m crazy,” I chuckle.

“You should. Am I allowed to give my opinion?”

“Of course.”

“I think she just wants what’s best for you, which is why she’s encouraging you to open up to me. For her, it doesn’t matter who the person is as long as you feel better. I imagine she just wants to see you like you were before.”

“You think so?”

“She cares a lot about you, Ona. You’re just worried because you’re afraid of being a bad friend by abandoning her again. Am I wrong?”

I sigh and shake my head. She really can read me like an open book.

“You should talk to her.”

I sigh deeply, resting my head on my hand. I bring a fry to my mouth as I think. She’s probably right. I’m worrying over nothing. I hope that’s really the case. I thank her for her advice. Now I’ll have to wait a bit to talk to Mapi. She’s very busy with her studies and her girlfriend. She has as many assignments as I do that are coming up. I’ll talk to her during the holidays.

“So, New Year’s?” she asks me.

“I’m not sure,” I shrug. “Probably at Ana’s place, like last time… We’ll see. I’m not too thrilled about the idea, but I don’t have much of a choice.”

“Who’s that?”

“Mapi’s girlfriend. I’m not jealous, really,” I quickly add. “It’s just that I don’t really like the kind of parties she throws anymore. What about you, your New Year’s?”

“With my friends, probably.”

“Still no girlfriend?”

She chuckles, shaking her head without giving me a clear answer. Bronze never talks about herself to me because of the restrictions placed on her. I had a hard time accepting it at first, especially since I tell her a lot. It was strange to think I know her habits and manners, but not her. Now, I accept what she gives me, telling myself she’ll confide in me one day if she feels like it.

“Still none,” she finally replies. “Even if I did have one, I wouldn’t bring her with me.”

“You’re that type, huh?” I laugh.

“What type?” she furrows her brows.

“The type to hide your girlfriends from your friends.”

“I don’t hide them. It’s just that… I don’t know, actually. I guess I’m waiting for the right one before the introductions.”

“I see. What are you like in a relationship?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, are you more the dominant type, or do you let the other person have their way?”

“Neither, I suppose.”

“Oh… You give off the impression of being dominant,” I giggle.

“Maybe, but I’m not. I believe that in a relationship, both people should be equal. It doesn’t matter if it’s a gay, lesbian, or straight couple.”

“You’re probably right… but there’s always one person who stands out a bit more.”

“Well, I guess it depends on the person you’re in a relationship with.”

Those words are so philosophical. I don’t completely agree with what she says. It’s true that we can be different with each person we’re with, but I think everyone is born with a dominant nature. Bronze seems dominant to me, even if she denies it. Maybe I’m wrong. In any case, she’s dominant compared to me since she surpasses me in any field and orders me around all the time. The meal finally ends. We decide not to linger and head to pay the bill. I had to fight for it, but I eventually managed to pay the whole check. She frowned and scolded me until we reached the mall.

“Shall we stick together, or do you want to go our separate ways?” she asks, surprised.

“I don’t know the stores here, so I’d rather we stay together if you don’t mind.”

“Okay,” she smiles. “Where should we start?”

“Well, I already have ideas for certain people.”

“Then let’s start with them.”

We start with Sam and Sophia since I know what I want to get them. We continue into a toy store since Bronze still hasn’t said anything. For Joan, it’s more complicated. I thought about getting him some board games since he loves playing together, but I changed my mind when Bronze showed me a remote controlled car. I completely fell for it, imagining Joan’s face when he sees his gift. I don’t buy it but decide not to take it with me. I explained to the vendor that I’d need it in Barcelona. To make things easier, he suggested I reserve it and pick it up at a store in Barcelona, which I immediately accepted. He gave me a reservation voucher. I didn’t know that was possible, but it’s very convenient. The next shop we go to is a sports store. As you might guess, it’s not for me. It was next to where we were, so we went there. She said she knew exactly what she wanted, so it would be quick. I wandered around while she waited for a salesperson. I ended up in the football section. My dad was a big fan, and he introduced me to it. I loved watching matches with him, and sometimes, I’d watch them with Mapi afterward. We’d have movie nights in front of the TV with popcorn when a match was on. I linger over the jerseys. My wardrobe must still have some old ones from the teams my dad supported. I took a large part of his clothes when we did the big sort through his things.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” I hear Lucy say behind me. “Are you coming?”

“Yeah…” I say, dragging my hand over one of the jerseys. “Are you done?”

“Uh-huh. Did you find something you like?” she asks, looking at the section.

“No, no. I was just looking.”

“Do you like football?” she asks, surprised.

“Yeah,” I say, smiling shyly. “And you like boxing?” I ask, furrowing my brows at the boxing gloves she’s holding.

“They’re for my best friend. Her are broken.”

She was holding other items, but they must have been related to the gloves. I nodded, and then we headed to the checkout to pay for her items. We walked out into the middle of the shopping mall with an extra bag in hand.

"Do you have anything in mind?"

"I'm torn between getting a bracelet or perfume for Mapi," I shrugged. "What's the best choice for an ex? And on top of that, her girlfriend doesn't know about us."

"How come?"

"She’s afraid her girlfriend will have a jealous meltdown. She pretends I'm just her best friend so she can stay over at my place without any issues."

"That’s risky," she said, raising an eyebrow.

"I already warned her, but she doesn’t want to hear it," I shrugged again.

"Okay. Well, let's start with the perfume shop then. I noticed my parents' bottles are almost empty, so I’d like to get them that. You can think it over in the meantime."

I agreed, and we headed to the next store, which was on the second floor this time. Bronze quickly decided on her purchases, picking up their usual bottles. As for me, a saleswoman made me smell several perfumes after she saw me wandering through the aisles. I narrowed it down to three based on what Mapi likes. Bronze went to pay for her items while I was left to choose between the last three testers I held in my hand. It was a tough decision.

"Bronze?" I called out to her.

"I’ve already told you not to call me that," she reprimanded me.

I’d forgotten that she now allows me to use her first name when we’re outside of work. It feels strange now that I’ve gotten used to calling her by her last name. She put her wallet back in her bag before coming over to my side.

"What’s up?"

"Which one do you prefer?" I asked, holding out the testers one by one.

"I’m not sure. What does she usually like?"

"She loves fruity scents, but nothing too strong. We have pretty similar tastes, but this is hard."

"I personally prefer the last one."

"I’m torn between that one and the first."

"Maybe you want to check out the jewelry store first?"

"No, I think I’ll stick with the perfume. I’ve already given her plenty of jewelry," I chuckled.

"Well, then you just have to choose between these two."

She took away the strip of paper with the scent I liked the least. I sighed as I looked at the remaining two. Bronze went off to browse while I made my decision. I sniffed them alternately for at least a quarter of an hour. Thankfully, she’s patient. I’m not sure I’d have been so tolerant in her place. I jumped slightly when I felt a weight on my back, relaxing when I realized it was Bronze who had come back. She crossed her arms over my shoulders and rested her head on them. Her position was a bit awkward. She asked me to let her smell the two perfumes again, which I did.

"I still prefer the one I mentioned earlier."

"I think I’ll go with that one then."

"Why hesitate? Plus, there’s a set that includes shower gel and lotion," she pointed with her chin.

"Alright, fine. I was leaning more towards that one anyway. It suits her better. Worst case, if she complains, I’ll just say you recommended it."

"Of course, it's too easy to blame others," she laughed.

She moved away from me, so I took the opportunity to grab the set she had pointed out. We went to the checkout, where someone was already paying for their purchases. The wait would be short.

"Besides, you shouldn’t complain about a gift you receive," she added.

"She’s never complained, but I can tell when she doesn’t like something."

"Why wouldn’t she like it?"

"I have no idea," I shrugged.

I paid for the perfume and accepted the saleswoman's offer to wrap it as a gift. I’m terrible at wrapping, so at least that was one thing taken care of.

"You really want to do things right with her," she chuckled.

"I owe her that much after all the time she’s put up with me."

"You’re very easy to put up with."

"Glad to hear that from you, Lucy."

I accidentally emphasized her first name. I still find it hard to use it. Bronze must have understood because she laughed. The saleswoman finally returned with my gift, ready to give. I thanked her for her service. Our shopping continued at the jewelry store where Lucy wanted to take another look. She was interested in bracelets while I browsed on my own. I lingered over the rings. One caught my eye. It looked a lot like the one my supervisor wears on her finger. She joined me when she noticed I had stopped.

"See something you like?"

"No."

"Well, yes. I can tell you’re stuck here," she commented.

She looked at the display case, trying to figure out which one might have caught my interest. I gave in and pointed it out to her. She must have noticed it looked like hers... A flicker of surprise crossed her face, but she quickly hid it without saying anything.

"I’m going to call a saleswoman. I spotted a bracelet I’m interested in."

I sighed softly and nodded. At least she didn’t make it awkward. It was half past four by the time we were done, and she suggested we stop at the cafeteria.

"You didn’t get anything for your parents," she remarked once we were seated at a table.

"My relationship with my mother isn’t the best..." I reminded her, playing with my cup.

"It bothers you, doesn’t it?"

"A little, but I’ve gotten used to it," I shrugged. "I don’t really want to talk about it."

"I understand."

She changed the subject without prying further. I appreciate Bronze for that. She never insists. We sipped our drinks, enjoying this rare moment. When we were done, I expected us to head home, but she suggested we take another walk, just for ourselves. I immediately agreed, especially since I wanted to look for a new jacket, so this was the perfect opportunity. This day was really nice. At least it helped me think about something other than my upcoming exams. I just hope I’ll be able to live up to everyone’s expectations. It’s a lot of pressure, but for now, I prefer to enjoy the present moment with my supervisor by my side.

[cosmos-coma]

Winter Mountain Soldier Spy- Part 3

A/N: Writing has been rather touch-and-go lately, and I had this sitting in my drafts for a long time with only 2 paragraphs and some editing left to do. I want to thank you guys for the really nice comments recently which have helped me pick this up again and continue on.

Pairing: Winter soldier!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Words: 2530

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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

_________________

Knock…… Knock-Thud…..

Morning greeted Winter with harsh repetitive knocks that seemed to echo through the valley; nothing like the soft melody of you and the accompanying radio he’d already grown used to. Each knock was harsh and heavy, but it didn’t sound like it was coming from the door… or even from inside the house…. He could just barely hear a voice beneath the knocking, though it was too muffled to make out much beyond its grumbling tone. 

The inside of the house lay quiet and still as he pulled himself up from the floor and slipped on the old clothes.

Silent feet crept down the stairs toward the kitchen, his toes curling as they hit the unusually cool ground. In fact, now that he thought about it… the whole house was far cooler than it had been the last few days.

With a sleep-stained voice, he called out your name, yet only the monotonous knocking replied. 

There was a pause in the noise as he glanced into the kitchen, its hollow halls empty and exactly as you had left it the night before. 

Knock… Knock… Knock-Thud….

He called out again, retracing his steps and moving instead toward your room.  “Hello…? Are you-… “The words died in his throat as he saw your door already cracked open. The silence gave him no answer as he creaked open the door, seeing the bed and room lay messy and unmade. 

Fear ran through him like a wild animal, his eyes searching as his mind swirled with thoughts and questions. Was it HYDRA? Did he lead them here..? He could have sworn he’d gotten rid of all his trackers, but did he miss one…? 

But then why let him sleep on? …. Or were they just waiting…? Sitting around outside until they can make a proper show of you…

His shoulders tensed, their joints rolling forward as he stepped back to the kitchen and grabbed a knife from the wooden block. His gaze darkened dangerously as every fiber of his being went on the defensive, his stance lowering as he moved toward the front door.

Every ounce of his flesh- every cell and molecule- was riddled with tension as padded through the doorway, slowly inching it inward and looking out at the meager brown-and-white landscape. 

Old leaves littered the forest’s edge that surrounded your small lawn. Clumps of stubborn snow survived in dips and divots amongst the earth, peppering the landscape with fine white freckles. Your car stood at its normal place in the driveway, with no signs of another vehicle nearby.

He stepped out under the covered porch quickly bypassing the short stairs in front of him and instead following the curving path of the porch to where it met the gently rising hill your house sat on. 

He twirled the blade in his hand, its lithe body dancing in his fingers before he gripped it firmly once again. He couldn’t let them get the drop on him….

Knock… Knock-Thud. 

The sound was so close now, just around the bend and he knew he had them. Actions and scenarios 12- steps ahead ran through his mind as he crept ever closer-finally rounding the corner and- oh…?

Tension poured out of him as he took in the sight of you, quickly filling with relief instead. Morning light glinted off the axe held high above your head, paused in its apex for a hair's breadth, before coming down heavily on the log before you. Your breath huffed out in dramatic clouds as the axe got lodged in and you raised it again, log and all. The axe swung up once more with a sense of faint familiarity. This was not your first time wielding it. With all your strength you brought the axe down with a knock like a gunshot and sliced through the rest of the log, the two halves thudding to the ground. 

He couldn’t help the way his eyes lingered over your curved and spent form. Not only did your body seem to hide an impressive amount of strength, but a rather graceful way about it as well. 

You huffed another heavy breath as you collected the piles of chopped wood and hauled them to a stout wood furnace. Smoke billowed out in opaque clouds as you opened up the door, allowing the glowing orange embers to breathe life into themselves once again.

You added a few more logs to the gently growing fire inside and set the rest aside in a small stack. “Okay…” you sighed to yourself as you turned back to your weapon of choice, “just a little more and I’ll be done- Oh!!” You exclaimed, nearly jumping out of your skin when you finally noticed his broad figure. 

“I’m sorry, I-I didn’t see you there”, you shook your head and laughed it off as you regained your breath, heading back to your axe, “Are… you okay…? ” You asked, eyes falling to the knife still held tightly in his hand.

He followed your gaze down his arm and nodded. He’d already forgotten. “Yes… I-“ he quickly set the knife down on an overturned crate, “I heard the noises, and you weren’t in the house… “ 

You blinked briefly and could only shake your head as you smiled and took it at face value. “Right, I’m sorry. I meant to come in and start breakfast soon…” you pulled the phone from your pocket and checked the time, letting out a sigh, “…. half an hour ago…. Sorry, I guess I sort of lost track of time. I just couldn’t put this off this morning.”

“What is it?”

“Oh, well this old thing is the wood furnace.” You said with a small smile, “It gets too expensive heating the house in the winter and there’s a ton of dead or fallen trees in the area, so It’s just easier to just heat the house like this.” You smiled as you patted the metal sheeted stove, quickly wincing and withdrawing from the hot metal. “It takes a little while to start heating up the house, but it should help as the weather gets even colder the next few days.” 

Winter nodded as he looked over the large pile of logs left to be split, and the small reserve pile that had already been done, “Can I help…?” 

You looked up in surprise as you reached for a new log, holding the axe on your shoulder, “You want to chop wood…?”

A faint smile passed over his expression as he shrugged, “I need some way to earn my keep, don’t I…?” He said, probably the most you had heard from him since he had stumbled into the road, “I don’t know how to cook… and I don’t have anything to my name but my clothes… but I know that I’m strong and I can lift heavy things….“

You smiled, holding in the little laugh in your chest, “You don’t have to earn your keep here, Winter….”

A cool, refreshing rush passed through him, seeming at first like a short gust of winter wind, but he knew better. Your name for him had jump-started his heart like a battery,  leaving his brain buzzing pleasantly in its wake.

“But…. I could use some help this morning.” Your smile turned into a sheepish grin as you held the axe handle out to him, “Maybe then I can get started on breakfast… any requests?” 

His smile spread even further, his face feeling strange with such an open and wide expression, and yet it also felt… natural.

He shook his head and took the axe, sliding its length through his hand until he held below the slightly rusted head, “Anything is good.”

You nodded with a smile, brushing the splinters and lichens from your thin jacket and quickly heading inside, giving his arm a gentle squeeze as you passed.

Winter’s grin lingered as he watched you run off, kicking your shoes off before you even made it through the door. With a gentle shake of his head, he turned back to the log pile, twirling the axe in his hands as he got to work. 

Kicking off your boots you stumbled into the cold kitchen, poking your nose into the fridge as you tried to figure out what to make. 

“Hmm..” you hummed. You really needed to go on a grocery run. Your fridge was beginning to look rather sparse, as both you and it were unprepared for another mouth to feed. “Okay, well… maybe breakfast sandwiches? I think I still have bagels around here. Let’s see..” you mumbled to yourself as you roamed the kitchen and began to prepare breakfast. 

As you busied yourself cooking, heat slowly seeped into the house; through the lazy vents and across the cold floorboards it crawled, the furnace finally hard at work. 

Winter, with ever-perfect timing, opened the door just as the last piece of food hit the plates. His long hair pulled back haphazardly with a tie he must’ve found, fell perfectly around his face, his breath huffing with just a touch of effort. 

You almost thought you were having a heart attack the way your heart pounded in your chest. He was handsome, of course, you knew that ever since you dressed his wounds, but it was a different kind of handsome that you saw now. The kind that was… disheveled and rugged in its compassion, the kind of handsome that was fly-away hairs and ruddied skin. It’s the kind…. 

It’s the kind of handsome that wore itself out because it knows it’ll keep you warm. 

——-

“Where is it we’re going again…?” Winter asked as he watched the frosted landscape pass by. The smooth metal of his fingertips rubbed together nervously as fields and forests rushed past, the spot where he first met you rushing past with little pomp or circumstance. 

Whether or not he caught your glance in the rear-view mirror as you passed by was beyond you, along with the faint quirk of your lips as you thanked whatever power above that things turned out okay that day. “It’s just a quick stop into town.” You assured him, “We just need to get some more groceries. I wasn’t exactly set up for two people before you came,” you said, glancing at him with a gentle smile, “plus I thought you could maybe use some warmer clothes. That flannel and thin jacket from the basement can’t keep you warm all winter,” you hummed as you skimmed through a thought, “But maybe we can get you more when spring rolls around?” 

Unwillingly, your mind had already begun to drift toward the coming seasons, what needed to be done, what you wanted to do. You had only known Winter for a short while, and yet in every aspect of this, you were already thinking of him there. Was it brash of you? Perhaps. But you couldn’t seem to help it.

Usually, you would never get your hopes up like this- not when it came to people sticking around. Usually, you’d just stuff all these hopes in a tight little jar, seal the lid, and tape it shut before storing it in the darkest corner of the closet of your heart. But something… something felt different in the way Winter looked at you. 

Even now as you glanced over his once icy eyes now melted into warm pools and his lips pulled into a bright sliver of a crescent that rivaled even the moon- you felt hopeful in a way you hadn’t before. 

“Okay…,” he spoke, his faint smile still lingering as he turned back toward the passing houses, his fingertips slowing their nervous tic. 

Thankfully, town was relatively quiet as you pulled up to the grocery store, keeping to the edge of the parking lot. To you, the lot was quiet- only about half as full as when the city people come up to ski or pay exorbitant amounts on a weekend AirBnB.

However, to Winter this was like a moving minefield. He had gone from living life as an apex predator- the only wolf in a field full of sheep- to living as a mere wayward lamb amidst the fox’s den. And while he had never been more sure of his decision to defect, now every single person was a looming threat. 

To both him, and to you. 

“You can stay in here if you want, Winter… I won’t make you go in…” you offered him, just barely brushing your knuckles against the cold unfeeling metal of his arm, but it didn’t diminish your comfort in any way. 

“No-“ he rushed, his eyes quickly moving to your hand, but making no move to pull away, “No…. I’m fine, I’m right behind you….” He swallowed his doubts with a nod and reached for the door handle.

The two of you headed inside, his step never far behind as you stepped into this absolute maze of a store. 

Dozens of people shuffled around the narrow aisles and paused here and there to talk each other's ear off, having no idea or wherewithal to realize that they were blocking one of the limited exit routes. 

To Winter- this was Hell.

To you- this was Monday. 

You grabbed a basket and waved him on as you began maneuvering through the produce stands and odd layout toward the aisles you needed.

Winter followed you with dancing nervous glances, his eyes scanning over every person that came close to you. Padded winter coats made it nearly impossible to discern between the topography of a concealed weapon, or that of an extra layer. How could he keep you safe in a place like this? He stretched out a hand, searching for your warmth, only to find you already 10 steps ahead of him and in the opposite direction. 

Quick, rapid steps came up behind you, urgent in their need as they fell into their rightful place. A warm fleshy arm brushed up against yours, its knuckles pushing gently against your hand. It spoke of an unspoken need for closeness- or perhaps a fear of distance- from its owner. 

A soft smile settled on your lips, the warm sensations stemming from his touch slowly moving up your arm to settle over your heart. You watched his anxious eyes scan over a man looking over the soups and even an old woman who slowly hobbled past. Even then his hand refused to leave you, his pace carefully measured as he walked beside you diligently. 

Whether he was protecting you or himself you’d likely never know, but you didn’t need to ask. You didn’t need to do anything besides reach out, your hand moving away briefly to let your fingers intertwine, laced securely in an inseparable bond.

Surprise flashed quickly across his face as he turned to you, distracted for the first time since you set foot off the front step. Unknowingly tense shoulders finally sloped,  relaxing as if they were Atlas, finally setting down the weight of the world. 

“Better…?” You asked quietly, your voice just for him. 

He nodded, an odd warmth spreading into his smile as he held your hand just that much tighter, “Better….”

_________

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[bisonaari]

Käärijä Summer Camp report

I don't really come here anymore and I don't think I'll be back anytime soon, but I still wanted to make a post about this! It's probably gonna be pretty long hahaha

Last time I travelled with my husband, but this time with the amount of things to do and people to meet, he preferred staying at home and took care of our little balcony garden <3 Thanks to him we now have a full ass jungle on our balcony lol

My flights were really uneventful. My first flight to europe was so empty that I had a full row to myself so I could have some good sleep time (albeit a bit uncomfy lol, plane seats are so hard), but that was it.

When I got to Helsinki, I was welcomed by a bunch of GOOFS omg

@mitamicah @j-restlessgeek @teal-skull @katinkulta @clovermoonspell and her friend from Norway were all there, Micah and Susanna arriving a bit earlier than me. We all went to the place I was going to share with Missy, Susanna and @kaarijalist for the next two days.

Those people. Are the best. I fucking love them so much you have no idea. Everyone I'll tag in this post is an absolute cutie that I love but I'LL SAY IT EVERYTIME Skull gave me my birthday present in advance and I just BWAAAAAHH that was so sweet ;A; It was a Jukka autograph that they got for me back in Böle (now framed in my living room ehehehe) and a custom bracelet for me, inspired by my kääryle tattoo ;A; I loved it so ridiculously much it was ADORABLE

I learnt later that day that I wouldn't be able to meet @likearainbowinthedark until much later in my trip and it was a bit sad, I really missed them ;A; Friendship at first sight during february, and now I have to wait MORE to see their face again??? UNFAIR!! And also I had made little crochet frogs for them and their wife ohoho I couldn't wait to give them to their new owners <3

We also met with @formulalakana and @carpblu at a cafe during the afternoon! I was a bit burnt out by the whole you know… flying 12 hours thingie, so I ended up going back to our place but it was still lovely meeting with them they are amazing people!!

The day after that was the actual Summer Camp meet up day!! We all met at the mural together with many people already tagged here, but also @jaarijani @smimon @icbimakb and @tuherrus !! I can't believe that we just started to talk on tumblr and we were all there???? In person??? In front of that stupid Käärijä mural, exchanging bracelets and laughing together? That was just amazing

After a group picture, it was raining too much to have a proper picnic, so we went to the Tikkurila library to actually have some time to hangout and share snacks and gifts from our countries, and draw on each other's clothes and notebooks hahaha. A really, really lovely time with everyone, I'm so happy it went so well. On one side of the room was the Summer Camp flag that Skull had made, and to me it was perfect.

I also was sitting next to icbimakb and I had some time to nerd out to them because they're my fav artist of all time and they let me look at their sketchbook and it was an honor and I don't think that my eyes will ever recover from looking at so much beautiful art. @shirtlessradfahrer arrived at about that time as well.

A bit later we were joined by @follivora @wednesdayday @king-krisu and @khihi !! They didn't stay long but it was fun to finally meet after seeing them on tumblr for such a long time !! Some of us went to queuing, the rest of us stayed to clean up and we went to the venue a bit later <3

The Backas gig was one of the greatest moments of my life. Seriously. Everything went SO WELL??? Missy, Susanna and I headed out to the vip area for the pre show meal, and the food was amazing seriously. I wish I could have eaten about 3000 more of those fucking potatoes they were INCREDIBLE. We were looking at people running for barricade with tenderness hahaha, like "Look at our children <3 So much energy". Then suddenly, Missy spotted him. The Häärijä. Chatting to people next to the merch booth. She had to stop eating immediately because she had gifts to give him, and there might not be any other occasion to do so. I also handed her the fanzines because I'm a bit too shy and I don't have anything to say to Häärijä hahaha.

Part of my Backas report in a previous post ! I'll just focus on the untold parts here

At the venue it was time to meet @hyviihommi and @omppupiiras and also @blatantlyhidden and @because-its-eurovision !!! And wait also @tmrwds and @taidotonheiluja and some more people that I don't know the url of but I know are fellow tumblr users!!

I can't say how much I loved this gig. Hugo was really great, he looks so much like jere when he was younger hahaha. Käärijä was in SUCH a great mood, he was smiling so much and having the time of his life being on stage that day I don't think I'll ever recover. It felt so good being there and having an artist in front of us who was having a blast. I was dancing with Skull and Missy (my immediate neighbours hahaha), looking at Micah and Carpblu having a blast in front of us, enjoying the music that I had been listening for more than a year now with other people who also loved the same music. It was such an experience I will never forget this. We also got Paidaton riehuja!! I did remove my shirt hahaha. If I wasn't wearing a mesh shirt and a bra I would have gone full tits out hahaha, but it was too much of a hassle. But it was SO FUN being able to take part in this!!!

I don't usually listen to It's Crazy It's Party, but live?? It's seriously top 10 of the greatest moments of my life. Seeing everyone around me going fucking insane was incredible and I wish I could go back to those moments.

After the show, we stayed around a bit to chat more. We took another group picture, who is absolutely perfect and I will cherish forever.

Our little group went back to our appartment by taxi and we missed the occasion to say taksit on jo pihalla I'm very disappointed smh

We were already losing our minds because of how well the meetup and the gig went and everyone getting to see their blorbos and have pictures and chats with them, when Missy looked at her phone and SCREAMED because Häärijä had made a story with the fanzine holy shit. You don't know how fucking proud I was. I think I looked at it for 5 hours straight hahaha. He doesn't know how a video that probably took him 5 minutes to film and post made every artist's day it was INCREDIBLE.

(this is a terrible selfie but whatever HAHAHA)

On thursday, it was matching tattoos time!! I am now the proud owner of a pineapple tattoo, matching with Missy, Jay, Cass and Micah. I am ridiculously happy to have it. I feel like we really are a weird family and I found my people. I love it so, so much.

Got to meet with @pianist-chan that day as well!! We all had a lovely picnic together as a group in a park, then one song at a karaoke bar! Micah and I didn't vibe with the bar so after a huge peak of anxiety we all decided to leave hahaha. It was lovely hanging out with everyone anyway so whatever hahaha.

Friday was the Allas gig!! I met up with the gang in the morning to go eat breakfast together, and we ended up getting @hika-chachachan at the same time after we both discovered that we're not the only french fan here HAHAHA. Sorry for everyone with us, we spoke in french most of the meal time because it was fun not having to speak in english for a short time hahaha. Later that day, we took a picture making the JUL sign, the only correct pose for cringe french people uWu

Then I went back to my hostel for a nice nap, got some food with Kat and then finally joined the queue one hour before doors. (I got to see @izpira-se-zlato and @n3ongold3n there! And also I could hug Bec again 💚) We got a pretty nice spot so I'm not disappointed! Although this time Jukka didn't notice me but it's fine I can't win everytime hahaha. The gig was also a lot of fun, nothing much to say here! I didn't realize at that time that it was my last time of this trip seeing Elsa, and I only fully realized it after she left :' ( I would have hugged you a lot harder hahaha

Saturday, Benjamin Peltonen and Erika Vikman gig with the kcord gang!! Before that I went to eat lunch with Cass!! It was sad saying bye, but I really had a fun time with them ;A; <3

I was super late for the gig and arrived after doors because that one guy in my hostel didn't realize that THERE IS ONLY ONE TUMBLE DRYER FOR THE ENTIRE HOSTEL DON'T LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AFTER THEY'RE DONE. URGH. He told me he just went to take a shower because it was taking too long WATCH YOUR GODDAMN CLOTHES MY DUDE I was so annoyed hahaha

Another session of meeting up with new people! This time I got to chat with @labda-kesho @beesgobzzzing and @dragon0blood and some more people I don't know the url of!! Anyway we had a great time! Benjamin looks like an angel, and Erika is…… you know how Erika is I don't need to tell yall HAHAHA. Everything would have been perfect without the extremely drunk girls around us spilling their drinks everywhere and literally falling on people. They had to be escorted out during Erika's part because they were way too annoying for everyone.

On sunday I FINALLY MET WITH EKO YIPPIE IT WAS TIME. I went to visit them in Espoo and ended up staying chatting with them for like 5 hours big oops hahaha we get along so well it felt like 10 minutes ;A; It was also my first time taking the bus by myself in Finland like a big girl!!! For the tram Elsa helped me so I could take it alone after she showed me how to, but the bus to another city?? That was a first one my mother is very proud

Monday, I went to Suomenlinna! When I lived in France 20 years ago, I lived right next to the ocean in a coastal city. Then we moved inland in Canada and you don't know how much I miss the ocean every single day. It's the #1 thing I miss about living in France, so I HAD to go to Suomenlinna. First of all, being on a boat again was so great, I really had missed that. It reminded me of the ferries I used to go on to travelfrom my dad's place to my grandma's place. Great times hahaha. Then I just wandered around for three hours, minding my own business and avoiding people hahaha. I sat next to the sea listening to the waves for hours. And it was the BEST. I think it cured me of 28 mental illnesses I didn't know I had.

On tuesday, I met with Eko once again but in Helsinki this time! We went to get tea together and chatted for another couple of hours HAHAHA. Teemaa in Helsinki is a lovely tea shop and you should definitely go!! I also went to the Skywheel on my way back I just HAD to yknow, Käärijä tourism

After I got back to the hostel, it was packing time to leave Helsinki for other horizons.

PART 2: OUTSIDE OF THE CIRCLE

My next stop was Oulu! So I headed out to the train station on wednesday morning to go on a 6 hours journey hahaha. At least it was a direct train, and the guy next to me was only here from Tampere to Seinäjoki, so I still had quite a lot of space for myself.

Once in Oulu, I was staying with @theplantbish and her partner. I cannot say how much I love her. There are not enough words to express this. The other people I immediately fell in love with I had already met them prior, so no surprises here! (Yall know who you are hahaha) But it was our first time meeting and it was like we already knew each other from 25 years ago. We went from total strangers to great friends in about 5 seconds, and then it took two days to have heartfelt late night conversations crying in each other's arms lol. Anyway this whole paragraph is a love letter to Plant you are amazing and I love you. I can't believe that in two weeks we got to talking on a daily basis hahaha.

Anyway, we also met with @gaysontoast because we went to pick them at the airport and WOW what a tornado of bubbliness <3 They were absolutely wonderful to have as a roommate!! (and they sleep like the dead hahaha)

In the afternoon it was my first time meeting with @submariini and @ravensofskyhold as well! I'm scared that I will run out of available tag spaces like you can only tag 50 people per post lemme count a sec ok we're at 33 still good (but absolutely ridiculous that I got to meet 33 people from tumblr in the same week??? what happened to not meeting strangers from the internet lol) but anyway all lovely people!!

The day after, it was finally time for Suomipop!! In the morning we went to pick @punanenmarli from the train station! Plant and her got back to Plant's place walking hand in hand and it was the fucking cutest shit I had ever seen ;A;

We then met at suomipop for Bess! HOLY SHIT IS THAT WOMAN GORGEOUS??? HOW DARE SHE??? WHEN SHE EMPTIED THE WATER BOTTLE ON HER HEAD I JUST

anyway I was completely normal about this show. Hm. So normal. Even during the french part in Lähtee käsistä. So. Normal.

The others wanted to go see Kuumaa during the evening and I would have loved to as well, but it was raining, I was drenched and cold and miserable and instead just headed back to Plant's place where I was soooo normal about Bess.

On friday, it was my birthday, yippie!!! The clowns from kcord (NOT PEJORATIVE IT'S THEIR NAME OK) got me a card that they all signed and I loved it so much a a a a a a ;A;

We wanted front row for the Käärijä gig later in the evening, so we were there at doors and immediately went front row, which meant that we also got to listen to Viivi and Yö ! Tbh, I really liked Yö, I understand why they're a legendary band hahaha.

However, between the two shows, Plant came back to our group and told me that Jukka. Sorsa. Was. Hanging out. In the VIP section. Which we didn't have access to lol. So we ended up just watching him from afar, when I noticed that he and his friends were leaving the VIP section and crossing the festival area. I told it to Plant who asked me if I wanted to go see him but I was like naaaah I'm shy. So she asked if I wanted her to come with me and I immediately said yes HAHAHA. We went over his little group and when we arrived at about 10 feet from him we waved, and he immediately came to us to have a chat WHAT A MAN I LOVE HIM. I was so fucking awkward (leading to this great interaction… me: "I just wanted to say hi!" Jukka: "well… hi" AAAAAAA IT WAS SO AWKWARD LOL). He noticed the earrings I made out of the guitar plecs he gave me and reached for them sir excuse me do you want me dead hahaha. I didn't say much after that but we still got a picture together that Plant took for me ILYSM

I met with Kat, Lou and their friend just before the Käärijä show and it was amazing as usual. This man knows how to perform hahaha. WE ALSO HAD THIS WEIRD MID-SPEECH SHIT TALK??? JERE WH A T???

After Käärijä, we headed up towards the other stage to Kaija Koo. I was on my phone for I don't remember what, and Plant poked me to tell me "are you on your phone? how often in your life are you gonna see Kaija Koo live??" and she was so fucking right omg. I put my phone back in my pocket and it was absolutely great, got to hold hands with Plant while dancing, seriously amazing. One of my best birthdays ever if not THE best.

We had a meal at Hesburger after everything hahaha (I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS HESBURGER), and in the not quite night of Oulu, to me everything felt so, so right.

Saturday, I got to see Kat and Lou again for souvenir shopping! I GOT THE FUCKING BEST MAGNET IT SAYS PASKA MAGNEETTI AND I'M FUCKING CRYING NO ONE AT HOME WILL GET THE REFERENCE BUT I DO AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS LOL

I said bye to Kat after that but it's so ridiculous we live in the same country LOL I should visit Toronto at some point

At Suomipop, we got to see first Portion Boys and they were so full of energy what a show!!! Nothing can stop them, not the heat, not the wheelchair, NOTHING.

Smitten, Omega and I got to dip our feet in the water at the suomipop beach and it was so needed the sun was HOT that day. The fact that we weren't allowed more than our feet in the water was a tragedy though smh

After that, it was time to my beloved ARTTU WISKARI, I got into his stuff just before flying for Finland so I was delighted he was going to be at Suomipop!! Ed came with me to see him what a gentleman lol (seriously tho I really, really appreciate it!!)

Last suomipop show for me was Elastinen! While watching him I could only think that this was the most shark looking man I had ever seen HAHAHA.

After Elastinen, the group went to see Apulanta, while I went back to Plant's appartment to pack my suitcase, sadly.

On sunday, it was time to take the train again. Plant took me to the train station and we ended up crying so much hahaha I was a mess in the train. But if it hurt so much, it's because it was equally fun, and I can't wait to see her again.

I was headed to Tampere, then Turku! Skull escorted me to my Airbnb they're so lovely ;A; We talked together for about 6 hours lol before I had to leave to do some laundry. While my clothes were in the washing machine, we explored the k-market to find some Pirkka merch but it was all gone, so I just got a lovely @windows95man shirt hahaha. COME BACK TO TUMBLR TEEMU YOU BELONG WITH US

The day after I met with Skull again to buy some Posankka merch! Posankka…… my beloved…… the most beautiful pigduck of Finland <3 I got a reflector, in true finnish fashion hahaha. We then headed up to Luostarinmäki, an open air museum on finnish craftsmanship from the past. It was ridiculously interesting and we spent 3 hours where we only got to half of the museum LOL, we're nerds. Too bad…… I'll have to come back to Turku……… so sad

In the evening we watched TRAFIK and some more Powerwolf music videos, what a great evening holy shit

Interestingly enough, on tuesday I met up with… Skull again lol, they joined me in the park in the afternoon, we stayed here for 2 hours until we left to go to a student bar to get a lovely hot chocolate <3 It was absolutely delicious!

Wednesday, last day in Finland. I met up with, you have guessed, Skull again lmao. We headed to Vantaa (because I had a plane to take r i p).

Skull and I then headed to Arttu Wiskari's Allas gig. We were quite lucky as the rain had just stopped (btw Kallo I still have the rain poncho I stole from you lol it's in Canada now sorry).

We had so, so much fun. The gig was just really fun and light hearted, everyone knew the lyrics, and it was the best ending for an amazing trip. Nothing like dancing with your friend on good music!!

I hugged Skull and cried in the train. Familiar scene, lol. Me sobbing in trains in Finland. I love you so much Kallo.

There are no words left in my heart to express how loved I felt during these 17 days. I will be back. I promise. I can't bear to not go back when I left pieces of my soul with dear friends. Take care of them please, I'll be back to put some more of my soul in them. I love you. So very much. You made my life really bright for a short time, and knowing how good it can be to be alive I want to feel this again.

To all of you, who are my soulmates, my siblings, my loved ones, my beloved: thank you.

[lou-struck]

A Peaceful Project

Hajime Iwaizumi  x reader

Flufftober Day 11

WC: 1.4k

~You bought a few beginner crochet kits from the airport's gift shop to wait out your long layover, while traveling with your Fiancé and the Pro- Volleyball team he works for. 

What a sight your group must be amidst the usual airport crowd. The Japan National Volleyball Team mostly stands tall in their all-red warm-up uniforms they have elected to travel in for their flight home from an International Volleyball tournament. You would never tell them this, but the group looks a bit like a cult. 

Due to hazardous weather, the flight home has been delayed for at least another twelve hours, and it is quite amusing to see how these top athletes deal with the stale stench of boredom that wafts throughout the gate.

Between the rows of leather-backed seats, you spy the muscled form of your Fiance, who busies himself with adjusting the athletic tape of Tobio Kagyama’s fingers, but you can tell by Hajime’s tight smile he is thankful to be wearing his normal clothes.

“How much longer do we have to sit hereeee?” Shoyo Hinata whines, squirming in his seat. The redhead has never been good at staying in one place, so this must be agonizing for him.

“A while,” you reply, feeling pity for the man. “Maybe you could go check out the airport and get yourself some food.”

At the mention of a meal, he brightens up exponentially and looks at you with wide eyes. “There’s food here?”

“Yeah, idiot,” Kageyama says, walking over to the two of you, flexing his freshly taped fingers. “Why would we be stuck in a place like this without something to eat?”

“I wasn’t talking to you, Crappyama,” the smaller man responds, childishly sticking out his tongue at the setter. He turns his attention to you nicely. “Wanna go with me since Iwaizumi is busy?”

You smile warmly at him and shake your head. “Thank you for asking, but I’ll wait for him to get done.”

“Oh, okay,” he says before turning to the setter. “Let’s go get something to eat.”

“Why me?” Kageyama asks, looking surprised. 

“Because you’re always grumpy when you’re hungry.” the redhead says before zipping away down the terminal. 

“I’m not grumpy!” The dark-haired man calls, sprinting after him. 

You laugh as they disappear out of sight, and you hear a deep chuckling behind you. Turning your head, you see Hajime walking over to you. 

“There goes our entertainment.” he laughs, leaning over you in your seat. His large hand slips under your chin and tilts it upwards so that he can give you a proper kiss. “How you doing, baby?”

“Better now,” you hum, enjoying his attention. While you are glad that you were able to join him on this trip, you definitely haven’t gotten to spend as much time with him as you would’ve liked. Between tending to the player’s injuries and providing nutritional advice for the team’s meals, he has made a lot of overtime pay these last few days. “How many players do you have to do treatments on?”

His face falls, and he glances back at the queue of men standing behind him. There are at least a dozen players in need of treatment. The last few days were tough on them, and there was no shortage of injuries. “I’ll be at least another hour,” he sighs. “I’m sorry.”

Your comforting touch finds his bicep, and you give it a reassuring little squeeze. “Hey, it’s alright. I can just get a book or something from that little shop over there, and then we can go and get something together.”

He looks between you and the ‘Go Mart’ a few yards away before giving you a tired yet heartfelt smile. “You would really do that for me?”

“You know I’d do just about anything for you,” you laugh, reaching into your backpack and pulling out your wallet to pay for whatever kind of overpriced airport entertainment you are about to get for yourself.

“Thanks, baby,” he says, helping you to your feet. “I’ll go as fast as I can, I promise.” With quick steps, he walks back over to his empty row of seats that he has cleared out for his athletic training purposes and starts barking directions at the men waiting in line. “You’re next, Miya, sit down and let me see that damn wrist of yours.”

Leaving your suitcase in the safety of your party, you step into the little shop. Walking past the rack of keychains and shot glasses with various city names and other last-minute travel gifts, people get when they forget to buy them on their travels to the back of the store. The wall of mass-market paperbacks looks down on you. 

You are just about to reach for a cheesy-sounding romance novel until something catches your eye. Your head turns to give yourself a better look, and you see a little rack of arts and crafts kits, including some paint-by-numbers coloring books and ‘Beginner-Friendly’ crochet kits. 

The little pouches have adorable little crochet animal pictures on the front, including a little green lizard guy and a purple penguin. It may not be a book, but these little kits look like just the thing you need to make it through this layover. 

You scoop the light packages off their hooks and bring them to the counter, not bothering to look at the obscenely high price they have. 

It will hurt less to just ignore the charge on your credit card completely…

~

The gift shop bag sways to and fro as you walk back to where your group is supposed to be. Your gate has become practically empty save for your Fiance, who diligently watches the luggage with his arms crossed. 

“Where’s the rest of your line?” you ask, noting the absence of the volleyball players. 

“They got hungry and left.” he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “We should’ve just gotten food when we had the chance.”

“So now you’re on suitcase duty?” you ask, plopping down in the seat next to him.

“Until they come back, I guess we are stuck here.” He spots the bag in your hand and peaks into it. “That doesn’t look like a book.” 

“Nope,” you say brightly, taking the kits out of the plastic and showing them to him. “I got us a project.”

“Crocheting?” he asks, reading the label. 

“The package says it’s for beginners, so I think the two of us can figure it out together,” you say, tossing him the lizard. “Go make a mini Godzilla.”

“That’s just a Lizard,” he chuckles. 

You roll your eyes and open the package of your purple penguin. “It could be a Mini Godzilla.” you hum. 

He smiles just for you and opens the package, taking out the yarn, the crochet hook, and, most importantly, the instructions. “Let’s see what this is all about then.”

Within minutes, you guys are hooked…

As much as you love talking to each other, you are dead silent as your eyes scan the instructions and your project. And despite the hustle and bustle of the airport around you, you feel remarkably peaceful. 

Thirty minutes go by before you say anything. “How is it going?” you ask, not taking your eyes off the little penguin bottom you have crafted. 

“Good,” he says, short and sweet. No doubt thriving in the comfortable silence the two of you have created for yourselves.

“Good.” you parrot, looking at the yard strand between your fingers and admiring the long chain you have formed. You may not know what you have to do after this step, but you’ll find out when you get there.

“Hey, we’re back,” Hinata calls, rushing back over to you two with Kageyama on his heels. “This airport is so cool. There’s a whole plane inside this garden thing and like a gazillion places to eat; when you go down there, make sure to,” he is cut off by an icy glare from your Fiance. 

“Shut up, I’m trying to concentrate.” Hajime hisses at the dynamic duo. “Unless you are injured or dying, leave us be.”

They look a bit taken aback at the Athletic Trainer’s outburst and look to you for any kind of comfort, but you are too engrossed in your project to give it to them.

“Sorry guys, I have a penguin to make.” you hum, looping another strand of violet yarn around your crochet hook. 

Neither of you has acknowledged it yet, but whoever finishes their project first won’t have to pay for their meal.

Tagging: @enchantedforest-network @eussstasss

[callahanisms]

your desire

got inspired, so here's something for steven grant. because i love awkward autistic oscar isaac.

pairing: steven grant x gender neutral! reader

for vibes: "venus" by bananarama

you were in london for a phd program. you wanted to pursue a doctorate in art history and work with repatriation. after all, every place deserved their stuff back.

especially from the british museum.

you lived in a simple flat across from the sweetest man you've ever met: steven grant.

now, aside from how tired he was and the sometimes weird things you'd wake up to coming from his apartment, he was a good neighbor.

at one point, he even helped you unlocked your door after you had left your keys in the apartment. you rushed to get out of the apartment as fast as possible and came back near 1am without your keys.

"i didn't even know i could do that." is what he said when he successfully gets your door open. you were sure he was joking. he was being genuine.

the dating scene in london wasn't...well, the state of dating was bad in general. especially considering that half of the world literally disappeared and then came back, including your own brother. your father died thinking he was dead permanently, leaving you with a soft spot and a desire to pursue a fulfilling relationship.

why wait if you might die tomorrow? there was always another world ending event around the corner.

perhaps developing a crush on your attractive neighbor was not the way to go.

none of the people you went out with had steven's smile. had his curls. had his smile. had his nose. had his little information dumps that you adored.

but from the interactions you guys had, it seemed the destiny might be platonic. which hurt your soft, romantic heart.

you were about to retire for the night since you had class the next day. that's when you heard mumbling outside your door. peeking through the peephole, you can see the man looked downtrodden. he was holding some flowers and a box of chocolates.

you opening the door surprises him. he nearly jumps out of his skin. "(y/n)!"

"hey." you lean against the doorway and cross your arms over your chest. you were wearing some comfortable lounging clothes: a tank top and some fuzzy pants with hello kitty designs. "everything okay?"

"huh? yeah. i mean..." he purses his lips and sighs. "got stood up on a date." again.

you understood all too well. you lost count of how many dates you went on and they just didn't show up. not even a text to tell you they weren't coming, or to ask for a rain check. wasting your time. and being general dicks.

the state of dating was not it.

"i'm sorry. i'm sure there was a reason." perhaps there was. perhaps there wasn't. there was no point in thinking about it.

"yeah. well, good night!" even when upset, there was still a pep in his voice.

watching him pull out his keys made you feel...sad. you didn't want him to spend time alone.

"how about you come in for a cup of tea? that way you don't have to eat the chocolates alone."

steven turns around. there's a sparkle in his eyes when he looks at you, making you melt.

"i'd like that. a lot."

you move aside to let him in and close the door behind you. he removes his shoes, setting them on the side and you take his jacket to hang it up.

steven sits at one of the seats at the kitchen island, watching you pull out your kettle and fill it with water, before placing it on a burner. you adjusted the flame to a medium.

"you want some cake? i have some left. it's lavender lemon." you ask, pulling out two mugs. you love the way his face perks up. one of them was a mug from the gift shop with an egyptology theme.

"i think i'll be fine. but it's kind of you to offer."

"okay. what about tea?"

"do you have chamomile? kind of...basic but..." he would like a sleep aid.

you don't say anything. you just smile at him and grab the box from your cabinet. you place a bag in each much, discarding the proper trash. "so...you wanna talk about it?"

steven spends the next few minutes talking about his feelings. it felt good for him to unload and vent just a little bit. he held no ill will towards his date. just some frustration about how his romantic life has hit a brick wall. something was always getting in the way of him pursuing a relationship. something was always happening. he was always screwing up. perhaps he was the problem.

in the middle, your kettle was screeching. so you turned off the burner and poured it into the mugs, letting the tea steep.

you can't help but relate. with all the people who stood you up, you wonder if you are the problem. were you that unlovable, that undatable, that people can't even tell you they weren't coming?

steven stops talking when he notices the way you're looking at him: with intensity. you look like you want to tell him something. "what is it?"

"what? you can keep going."

"you want to say something. your lip is twitching." he gestures. he takes a sip of his tea.

"well...i don't know if..."

"go on. you can say it."

you take a sip of tea before looking at him. "it's not your fault. none of it is."

steven's smile is sad. "you don't have to say that."

"i mean it. steven...i know it feels like it is. hell, i relate a lot. sometimes it feels like you're the problem because no one else wants you. but it's not your fault. i think you're...pretty cool. and amazing."

he blinks slowly, almost like a cat. he's busy just looking at you, admiring your features. your beauty. and your warmth. not many people would invite people over just to vent.

"it's all good to vent. but i also think it's important to...think of it as redirection. like my dating life sucks but my studies are going well. and i'm going to be published."

"r-really?" he watches you walk over to the record and set your mug down. you look through the vinyls and pick one.

"yeah. academically too. so i get academic validation. which isn't everything, but it's certainly nice." it was important to get your work out there. you turn the player on, place the disk, and then drop the needle.

your body movies instinctively. you recognize the synth beat, picking up your mug and moving your hips. "this was my dad's. he really like british 80s synthpop." you turn to steven and take a sip of your tea.

he was trying his best not to stare, not to watch the way your hips moved. it was mesmerizing. he wasn't one for dancing. he was not the best at following a rhythm.

you dance over to him and gently take his hand. "come on steven."

"i don't think so." he sees your pout. "okay, okay."

he gets off the stool and lets you guide him to the middle of the room.

your hips move. your body is unchoreographed. you weren't really a dancer. but you can't help yourself. you spins a few times, bathing in the casualty of it all. and unknowingly bathing in steven's love filled gaze.

you look deep into his eyes. his soft brown eyes. and your eyes glance down to look at his lips. his soft looking kissable lips.

could you be bold? could you make a move? was it appropriate to make a move? you take a sip of her tea and sets the mug down. "steven..." you bites her lip as the music keeps playing.

"y-yes (y/n)?" he could feel his cheeks warm up. especially as you step closer. your bodies are nearly touching.

you gently cup his face with one hand and pull him by his waist so his body is against yours. you could feel your own body against his. it was quite arousing.

you leans forward and kiss him softly, pulling away for a second only to kiss him again.

"i like you." you mutter against his lips.

steven doesn't know what to do. he's hesitant. because you want him. and maybe he wants you. but do you really want him? was it just the heat of the tea? or the music?

"you...you like...me?" surely there were better men. better people.

your eyes soften. "yes. i do. i like you. i like you a lot steven." the music appears to fade to a soft lull. your heart beats in your ears. perhaps you made a mistake.

"i know this is sudden. and maybe it's inappropriate considering that...you just got stood up and i invited you in my home and it seems weird and terrible honestly. and if you don't like me back that's fine. you can just tell me and i'll stop and you can go..." you begin rambling nervously. your mouth runs faster than you could comprehend.

he has to set his mug of tea down.

you stop talking when he presses a finger against your lips. he feels how soft they are. and is tempted to trace your lips with his finger. "don't...don't you dare stop."

your lips curled into a smile and he removes his finger to kiss you. his hands rest on your hips, trying to bring your bodies closer.

a small moan escapes you, feeling him grind up against you. his kisses are fervent, as if he's trying to taste you.

your back hits the edge of the tv stand, causing you to giggle. you let him kiss you, parting your lips so his tongue slides in. they dance for what feels like an eternity.

you manage to pull away and turn around so he's against the tv stand. then you tug him along, heading straight for your bedroom.

[queerbaitingbutikissgirls]

Part 1

Sevika x reader

Synopsis: A lot of world building and a sprinkle of Sevika.

Note: I actually wrote the beginning in Tumblr and it got erased so the beginning is just some context cause I'm not rewriting it all lmao.

•You just got accepted for a job as a new healer for silco's crew.

•Your best friend Zika take you out to the last drop to have a drink and celebrate your new job.

•The last drop being a part of silco's empire you come across a few member of his gang coming in to blow some steam after their shift, sevika is one of them.

• You look at them pass to go to their usual boot as they ignore everyone around them and then your best friend start to talk about how you're gonna be so cool and part of their crew now.

• The rest of the night go without anything eventful and you go home at a decent hour knowing you are starting your first day of work tomorrow.

•You walk up to silco's tower ready for your first day at this job that might change your life.

I looked up at the sun grazing the highest peak of the tower. A rare sight in Zaun, the sun. I turned around quickly as I heard footsteps behind me as I looked down I saw a strangely proper man making his way towards me. He had an uncommonly warm smile on his lips. "You must be the new healer!" He said his smile growing even bigger. I tried to find a drop of malice or mischief behind is gaze but the only thing I found was a glimpse of excitement. he held his hand in front of me waiting for me to take it which I did weirdly he didn't instored fear in me.

"Yes, and you are...?" I asked with a confused smile. "Darius! I'm the chief doctor of silco's clinic." He said before dropping the handshake. Oh a doctor I didn't even knew it existed in Zaun, I didn't knew people like him existed in Zaun he looked like a living puppy way too happy to be living in the trenches in my humble opinion. He insisted on guiding me to the clinic and I just followed way too confused to even object.

"So this is the main clinic, here is my operation office  and this is the... break room?" He whispered in a questioning tone. "Don't tell silco's that we call it like that we aren't supposed to take breaks on working hours." He said again in a low tone. I barely conciled a smile at his carefree attitude he seemed way too happy about everything which was a bit unsettling down here. "Okay!" He said sitting back at a desk. "I red your resume, you're good! You'll be a great asset to have in the healer department." A small blush crept on my cheeks I wasn't used to praise.

the door opened violently letting a blue haired girl walk through as she yawned. "Smiley, Newbie." She I guess greeted us before making her way through the room to go grab a note book on the far right desk before walking back through the door frame. I stood there too shocked to say anything once again. But she slipped her head back in the room for a second. "I'm jinx by the way!" She said before disappearing again. I stood there mouth open questioning what just happened and if she really thought I didn't knew who she was. Everyone knew that jinx was silco's treasure, someone to not mess with.

"That was jinx." Darius said. Did they all thought I lived under a rock? "I know." I said with frowned eyebrows tired of this whole circus that I walked in. "She often come in here to learn more about anatomy for her gadget, I helped her work on sevika's new arm!" He exclaimed proudly. I swallowed hardly at the mention of the scary women. I couldn't deny that all that mystery around her was intriguing but also the violence kept my curious mind in check. I wasn't planning on getting in more trouble than needed.

"I hope you took a coffee already before coming in." He said looking at an old alarm clock on the corner of his desk. A tall half reptilian girl ran into the clinic not even sparing us a glance before putting on a brown blouse on top of her clothes. My gaze shifted back to the doctor. "Why?" I asked but before he answered me the old alarm clock went off and less than a second later I heard an hoard of screaming and stomping coming in our direction. "I hope you have thick skin newbie." Said the reptilian women as rugged man and women floded the entire room.

_____

"You did good!" Said the doctor as I pass my hand through my soaked bangs. "You can have the night it's enough for a first day. But get ready to call this room your new home kid." He said before pushing me towards the door. He didn't had to tell me twice I made my way outside of the towering building before letting my head fall against one of its cold brick wall a few meter away from the door. Judging by the cold air against my skin it was probably well pass sunset and well pass "her" bed time.

I sigh, at least Zika was home and I knew she tucked her in bed. I heard a deep chuckle a few meter away from me, I shift my gaze a hand ready to get out my pocket knife on whoever was hiding in the shadow. A pale glowing orange dot barely breaking the darkness a few feet away. "Who's there!" I exclaimed trying to sound convincingly menacing. I pulled out my knife in front of me as the person didn't announced themselves. The pale light fell to the ground and dissapeared under a stomping noise.

I took a step back in a cautious way as I heard the heavy footsteps. My gaze climbed up the imposing women walking out of the shadow. Short brown hair barely touching her shoulders and perpetually frowned gaze. Everyone knew who she was, I knew who she was, but I didn't wanted to be in a dark ally with someone like her.

Standing there I knew my knife wasn't gonna do much against the tall women so against my better instincts I just put it back in my pocket thinking it was wiser to not engage a fight I was bound to lose. "Sorry, didn't knew it was your spot." I just said lazily before turning on my heels to make my way home. "You're not gonna last a week." She scuffed behind me. I halt at her unnecessary words. "Excuse me?" I said before turning around to look back at her.

A hint of a cruel smile shine upon her lips as her usual frown was directed at me. "You don't even know me, keep your comment for yourself." I said annoyed before sending her a bitter look. What was she trying to do? Was she looking for a fight? She was out of luck it wasn't my type.

"You didn't last the night." She said plainly. "They sent me home!" I was offended at her implication. I didn't asked for a break they offered. "Probably because you looked dead already." Her gaze ran all over me analyzing my state. Okay maybe I was slightly exhausted but I will get used to it. I didn't had a choice. "It was my first day." I said half to convince her and half to convince myself. Before turning back around and walking away from the tower and the strange character it contained.