#and now i feel guilty :')
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A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)
Part 43 (Masterlist)
(Part 44)
Me, to myself: I just think the series was better when I posted several times a week because the pacing felt more natural, and it translates better when people binge it.
Also Me, holding two jobs and a bat: If you try to post once a day again, I will disconnect your head from your shoulders—
@bruciemilf guess who’s back
Anyways, folks! :D So I'm thinking of a new upload schedule where I spend a bit preparing the next ten or so parts then post it all in two weeks? I think that would be fun (and much better for my creative process.)
I’ll be posting the next part very soon :) But it's going to be drastically different from what I've done before. Let’s see if anyone can guess why.
Yada yada don’t die LOVE Y’ALL
#also since I posted so much more I felt less guilty putting filler stuff in because you'd get more tomorrow#but NOW that feels like cheating because you waited a whole week (or three months whoopsie) even though when I look back at the older parts#-the filler bits were always the best#also the lore is just exhausting sometimes#I'm not writing the MCU here I need to calm down#I'm literally rereading my own series five times trying to think of more cute filler because that's CLEARLY what I'm missing#and pictures of him#I'm running out of pictures of Robert Pattinson it's finally happening#pray for me#a wild battinson#battinson#bruce wayne#batman#the batman 2022#batman 2022#the batman#dc universe#dc#battinson needs a hug#gotham#soft bruce wayne#gotham city#only in gotham#gothamite#social media au#social media
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Maybe he'll come around to it? 🤔
#guilty gear#ggst#aba guilty gear#paracelsus guilty gear#fanart#my art#i think the idea has to grow on paracelsus first#he didnt seem hyped about a body in the first place#wonder how he feels about it now in strive
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Hello, I'm an artist and I make a living via public support and selling merch. Here's my art tag!
I love making fanart!!!!! Thank you very much!!!
✨ shop ✨ ✨ patreon ✨
#my art#prints#illustration#ghost trick#guilty gear#persona#I love drawing I love drawing#drawing is my life ive been drawing on tumblr for a long ass time and it's so crazy now with how far it's gone#on my blog you'll find art and shitposts reblogs and asks and stuff#the usual really#BY THE WAY I L;OVE EVERYTHING I DRAW I MEAN IT#ALL THE CHARACTERS AND SHIPS PLEASE KNOW A LOT OF FEELINGS WENT INTO EVERYTHING
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it is insane how normal i am medicated like. you mean this was an option the whole time. what
#theresbeen some hiccups like the first month i started to realize my work drive was 90% fear based#so ivehad to develop like actual work schedule and discipline thats not just 'everyone will hate me if i dont'#but its been working! now getting stuff done actually... feels.... good?#instead of like throwing water over one fire only to run to the next one#like before nothing was ever satisfying. i was always just running around panicked#now im like. okay this is what i have to get done today. yay! i finished it! now i go to bed. okay now its the next day#the only other thing ive noticed is ive become seemingly like. more. autistic acting.#like i get More fixated on my special interests now. i can think about something for hours straight instead of getting guilty and thinking#'oh im being greedy im being lazy with my time i should be doing something productive'
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i need help with vet bills (again).
hi. for those of you who remember, earlier this year i asked for donations to help me afford toos' vet bills, who we found out through your help had kidney failure, and again with your help we got her on medication for it. unfortunately it wasn't enough, and we lost her. and then shortly after, dexter began deteriorating, which we put down to his grief of losing toos - she kept him young, he followed her everywhere, he only played because of her, he only ate when she ate, etc. without her he just stopped. and then he started to have seizures and fits daily. we got him blood tests, but he was suffering so badly. we made the decision to put him down. i didn't ask for donations this time, because i was so deeply embarrassed to ask for help again. but we are still recovering financially from that, as well as the parts of toos bills that didn't get covered from donations. my mother hasn't worked for a very long time, she's disabled and very sick, and she receives PIP from the government that only covers her monthly medications that are not covered by the NHS. my father retired early to become her full time carer, and we are living off his pension. i am too disabled to work, but because my mother already receives PIP and i live with them, the government are resistent to giving me any help - so i have zero income, and rely entirely on my parents.
this is jenny. she's a 14 year old cairn terrier, who loves when we garden because she wants to help dig holes. she helped us bury dexter and toos, digging their graves for them with my dads help. she's an angel, and loves people so much she likes to escape under the fence and join other families for awhile. one time she got into someones back garden and asked to come in as they were eating lunch. she really hates flies, and will try to bite them out of the air (she has never succeeded but i believe she will one day). she will rub her face against you until you start stroking her, and will growl and even bark if you stop! we don't have the money to take jenny to the vets, for a checkup or for anything they may want to do. this has been an ongoing issue, but toos and dexter took priority, and it hasn't been a bother to her. she existed as normal for a long time, but that's since changed.
jenny has this lump in her mouth, it is larger than the picture shows, but she is a nightmare to force open her mouth since this got so big, i think it's uncomfortable or painful for her. she can't properly close her lips now, and it has pushed all her front teeth away, misshaping her mouth, and sometimes it bleeds profusely. eating has become difficult for her, she can't eat anything hard, and currently will only eat soft human foods like rice, scrambled egg chopped up so small she doesn't have to chew, and things like soups and gravy. she's lost a lot of weight, and i'm getting frightened. to add onto it, i've found lumps like this across her body. i've done as much research as i can, and i believe it to be an oral tumor, it fits, and it looks right, and it spreading across her body is called 'full staging'. and going by all i've read - they will want to remove them in surgery. according to my research, this will cost anywhere from £585 - £4,740 for just the lump in her mouth. that's not including any checkup/test costs, or the other lumps on her body.
she hasn't been to the vet yet, i don't have any secure goal or bills to share, just my assumptions and beliefs from researching myself online. my parents refuse to take her because we can't afford it. i want to save up money, have it in my bank, and show them that we can help her now, before it gets worse, or it's too late. as i said before, i don't have any income, so the only way i can do this is with help.
here's a link to my paypal.me
the icon is a little mouse, and the @ is rivellon
i struggled so badly posting the first post like this for toos. i felt so guilty and embarrassed and ashamed. but i have no choice again, i want to help jenny. i don't want her to suffer. and selfishly, i can't handle losing another dog so soon. this year has been waking nightmare, and i need your help to stop it getting even worse.
please reblog and share, even if you can't donate.
thank you for reading.
#animal illness#animal sickness#pet illness#pet sickness#vet bills#vet help#i don't really know what to tag this as. i don't remember what i did before#and i don't want to go look for my toos post because it will hurt so bad to see it i think#im on hiatus because i cant deal with this and be here right now. but im gonna queue/schedule this a bit i think#im sorry for asking for help again. but please consider helping jenny. she's so lovely#and she's keeping me alive right now#losing toos and dexter ripped me to shreds and shes the only reason i havent completely broken down#i am absolutely terrified of what will happen if we lose her too#god i feel so fucking guilty. i can't stop fucking crying. i hate this so much#im so sorry guys. please reblog and consider donating even a tiny amount#tiny amounts add up yknow#anyway . i should post this now instead of hiding in the tags
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how do i stop my anxiety from ruining literally everything ugh 😭😭
#i canceled plans with someone#bc i was so nervous#and now i feel guilty#and i’m trying to convince myself it’s okay
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003) and The Four Loves
#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt#tmnt 2003#tmnt 2k3#tmnt leonardo#tmnt raphael#tmnt donatello#tmnt michelangelo#tmnt splinter#tmnt casey jones#tmnt april#miyamoto usagi#tmnt karai#tmnt chaplin#tmnt hamato yoshi#tmnt tang shen#my gifs#I've had this gifset in mind for quite a while now since I adore the concept of the Four Loves so much#I only feel guilty for the fact the “Philia” gif doesn't include Mikey and the Silver Sentry#But I wanted to stick to three clips per gif
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(guy who has never played cotl) haha au time
#this started as a design exercise bc i couldnt get sphinx/devon rex narinder out of my head#but the whole time i was thinking man imagine if the lamb brings him in as a follower but nobody knows he was actually. you know#and the followers are like haha wow our leader channels the power and wisdom of the one who waits almost as if they were them#would that be cool or what. anyway heres narinder reassuming his pre-bishop form and everything his flesh remembers before godhood#ok now im gonna ramble abt design notes#the singe marks were inspired by fallen angels like how some ppl say they burned while falling from heaven. i wanted smth like that when#the lamb is resurrected by nari.. their outfit is inspired by papal cloaks while narinders is based on crusader armor#the lambs name 'bellwether' is also a term used for sheep that wear a bell and lead the flock and i thought that was cool#idk what the thuribles do yet but i do have smth in mind where theyre linked together. and ofc the lamb has a shepherds staff#very proud of nari's little devil tail!! and it was hard to see bc its so dark but he has wrinkles around his forehead to conceal his#third eye. even he isnt aware of it (for now)#idk where im going with this au i just have a bunch of ideas?? basically the lamb is keeping nari's identity a secret from him so he doesnt#go down that path of powerhungry destruction. smth like trying to lead him down a better path but feels guilty lying to do that#also theyre in love with each other and theyre stupid pining idiots abt it. mwah#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#the one who waits#cotl the one who waits#narilamb#art#au#myart#my art#character design#cotl au#false prophet! au
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The first time disciple Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu meets Liu Qingge, it is during a Bai Zhan peak raid. And what ends up happening is that Shen Qingqiu gets kicked in the jaw with such force he feels his teeth clack together unpleasantly. And frustrated with his situation, the system, and quite frankly a ton of other little things that have been building up over the course of the last few weeks, he feels something snap in the back of his mind like that of a rubber band after being stretched too far.
What ends up happening is that Shen Qingqiu turns and locks onto the very first figure he can see that is dressed in grey-and-white like a homing missile, and then with the force of a twin-tailed mountain tiger, lunges towards said figure with an equally menacing snarl.
He ends up taking the Bai Zhan peak disciple by utter surprise, and they both collide into the ground in a tangle of angry yelling and limbs. What ends up happening is that Liu Qingge gets the subsequent wind knocked out of him and pinned into the dirt by a Qing Jing peak disciple who is filled with the might and fury of a scholar having their peaceful afternoon interrupted and a once-grown-man re-experiencing puberty.
It is with that might and fury that Liu Qingge meets the wild, frenzied eyes of Shen Qingqiu, with his lips pulled back into a truly ferocious scowl. Shen Qingqiu hisses out, with such force it makes his voice rasp, as if he might as well sink his teeth into Liu Qingge's throat and rip it out; "Get the fuck off my mountain."
Liu Qingge is so shocked by -- well, quite a many things, but most importantly the fact that he has been pinned, and the way the sun is bouncing off this boy's face, -- that his brain needs five seconds to reboot. It's five seconds too long, because by the time he registers what just happened, Shen Yuan has clambered off him and disappeared. Gone and thrown himself into the closest dust cloud scuffling in order to unleash the rest of his fury on the other Bai Zhan Peak kids.
Qing Jing Peak experiences an unfortunate uptick in Bai Zhan disciple visits -- specifically of the Liu Qingge variety. Specifically Liu Qingge, actually. Who very much wants to find the boy that managed to get one over on him and demand a rematch. (Or maybe kiss him.)
#*stares at sy* i still think he deserves to go a little feral. as a treat. like. just a small snapping. not a big one. just a lil one#svsss#scum villain#scum villain self saving system#svsss au#shen qingqiu#liushen#shen yuan#he has a lot of restraint. lets break it! *said in the same tone as that angsty teenager ai voice from sister location*#me: do i call him shen yuan or shen qingqiu??? he is technically sqq but a lot of the disciple aus i see call him shen yuan....#me: fuck it i'm sticking with SQQ. they're both technically the same thing as far as im aware#this idea sprang into my mind like the mulan hun daisies. and i felt the need to write it down. this is so going in my disciple sy fic#shen yuan has a lot of restraint :) what better way to let loose all that pent up aggression than a bai zhan peak raid! he's kinda looking#forward to the next one. that was actually pretty cathartic. :) BZP disciples feel a sudden shiver crawling down their backs#the increase of bai zhan visits qian cao peak gets from bite-related injuries is in no way related to this decision. none at all.#sqq covered in bruises and scrapes: woo! that was actually kinda cathartic. i feel much better now after that. and a little guilty#meanwhile lqg: *going through a gay awakening* i.-- ??? boys? ???? boy? boy. mhm.#sqq usually avoids getting swept into fights during BZP raids. not this time! and now bzp is going to Pay For It Dearly.
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Are you okay with spam likes/reblogs or do you find them annoying?
honestly, seeing a solid row of likes/reblogs from the same person makes me imagine them going through my art like it's some kind of delectable buffet, holding a giant plate and going "hmm, yes, a little of this...some of that...ooh, and can't forget this..." except, you know, on the internet. with the feeling of that one Tom Hanks gif.
(which is to say, of course it's fine! if it starts taking over my activity page I just use the filters, so no worries :D)
#i...don't know what to tag this#gif warning#gifs that if i remember right are sending an email warning#but. y'know. it's about the vibe#(i miiiiight be kinda loopy from a cold right now so i'm sorry if this makes no sense)#but yeah especially now that tumblr has its own activity page filters it makes things SO much easier#particularly when a fanart post breaks containment and non-fandom people start seeing it#every once in a while there's a spate of 'oh your ocs are cute! :)' and i always feel kinda guilty#like i've unintentionally tricked you into reblogging anime disney catboys I'M SO SORRY
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feast (ID in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#tw blood#im posting this so late because october escaped me Suddenly.. hello....#i wanted to make it a photoset with this other vampire vw wip but i don't think i'm finishing it any time soon and the mood of it is#completely different anyway. also i don't think i ever shared anything about my vampire au on here !!! it's all old art by now so im shy lo#but maybe i'll do a photodump of it. long story short vash is a vampire since birth and ww is a human vampire hunter that turns during thei#travels together due to EoM experiments + getting vash to drink from him at some point.#humans turn once they get bitten but bc ww has been experimented on#& got bitten by a bunch of human turned vampires thruout his hunts he thought it wouldn't be a problem for vash to drink from him but alas.#theyre both ok though theyre traveling together definitely not hating themselves for what theyve become and feeling guilty for what theyve#done to each other. theyre completely normal about it. the biting part is really appealing to me in vampire aus so i draw it a lot but#in reality vash only drank from ww once and ww mightve done it twice under the realization he might actually die otherwise#since he wont drink from humans after being turned.... he's combatting the 5 stages of grief at all times#if this is all nonsense im sorry DMGKSDF I'M NOT good at explaining and this au came from nowhere in the depths of my mind its a mess#ruporas art
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my very wise robot fucker friend once said there are two types people who draw johnny: normally, or down horrendously
...anyway jnnnoy
His Blue Eyed Jumpscare
#guilty gear#guilty gear strive#ggst#guilty gear fanart#johnny guilty gear#johnny ggst#digital art#fanart#you can tell which of the two categories im in#i think its obvious skull#i dropped bridget to only use him in order to get used to his kit#now whenever i try out another character i feel like a hound set loose bc i can RUN?!?!#mfw a character can run
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them...............................
#lil animation practice#might clean this up later. if i feel like it#lizard draws stuff#in stars and time#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#out of all the friendquests bonnie's is definitely my favorite#i like their relationship just in general#feral child and their totally mentally stable adult my beloveds#and also how they stopped talking or even making eye contact with siffrin after he lost his eye???#because they couldn't bear to look at him#because they felt so guilty even though it wasn't their fault???#how they both thought the other one must hate them???#<- .... I Think. that's my interpretation at least#ourghhhhh.............#thanks for coming to my ted talk btw. you're free to go now
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Venom is back!!!! He's looking stylish!!
#guilty gear#guilty gear venom#fanart#my art#venom guilty gear#venom#venom is probably my fav character after the beds#currently feeling him a bit more though#AAAH im so happy hes is gonna be in strive i will learn charge inputs for you king#i really love his pants too exaggerating on them being 2 different pairs is so gooooood#i hope they darken his skin a bit more bc hes looking pale but thats about my only complaint#even unika looks good now. i hope she lives up to expectations#and dizzy looks fantastic!!
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No thoughts. Just Ivorb
#gif#gif warning#i'm kiiiiinda ironically obsessed with mcsm right now don't mind me for that#this game is my guilty pleasure#and if you wouldn't guess already Ivor is my favorite. literally the only character i feel anything about LOL#he's my boy. and i want to punch him#shitpost#minecraft story mode#mcsm#minecraft#mcsm ivor
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Some lore tabs that killed me dead and I'll never recover from them. Seasonal gauntlets are about Zavala realising and coming to terms with the fact that he is mortal and has mortal pains. Also, finally, the full confirmation that Guardians resume aging when they lose their Light:
He moved his chair back and considered his knee. What had he done to hurt it? He had not exercised yet, he had not gone on his usual patrol… he had done nothing. Why would a knee hurt from doing nothing? The riddle dissolved. He was starting to age.
But also:
He allows a hand to rest on his aching knee. To venerate it. He feels it solid under his palm. It is his, it is real, it is both portentous and precious. He is aging. He will age. An absurd and joyous thought warms in his chest: how fortunate, to have lived long enough to grow old. How invaluable, to make the space between himself and the horizon matter. How much time is left? And is it best spent with his knees under a desk?
Genuinely crying over this. How fortunate to live long enough to grow old. Man. Also at the end he asks for a break for one week and Ikora offers him two weeks.
The next one just... I have no words. It has to be read in full. It's about Saint going through it, having memories of his past and also dealing with the guilt with what's happening to Mithrax. Truly every sentence in this one is a gutpunch all the way to the end. Excerpts:
The hum of activity was overpowering yet reassuring to Saint-14 as he stopped to watch an older Eliksni expertly weave fabric on a well-worn loom. The woven symbols were unique and unfamiliar to the Exo, but he watched in awe as an iridescent glow emerged within the vibrant cerulean cloth. Fit for a Kell, Saint mused to himself— Breath caught in his throat; hands shook— Flashes of memory echoed in his mind. All he could feel in this moment… was shame.
Saint remembering his crimes against the Eliksni and feeling shame.
He hurried past the weaver and through the crowd, landing squarely in front of a tea stand, a sample placed in his hand before he could open his mouth to refuse. He looked down. The opaque liquid steamed in his cup, pungent and medicinal. Like distilled Darkness, Saint realized— Breath caught in his throat; hands shook— Flashes of memory filled his sight. All he could feel in this moment… was sadness.
Tea reminded him of all the stuff with Osiris and he is not processing it well. I say excerpts but I have to put the rest entirely because like. Okay.
Saint placed his favorite keepsake, a small stuffed bear, on the Kell's throne. Gently, he adjusted the lavender ribbon at its neck; the crisp satin sat in stark contrast to the bear's hazy black eyes, to its slightly worn ear and well-loved fur. A gift, once a comfort to a child of the City. A gift, once a comfort to Saint in the face of loss, in the face of— Breath caught in his throat; hands shook— Flashes of memory swelled in his heart. Osiris. His strong laugh. His deep, soulful eyes. The warmth of his smile. Of his touch. Memories of comfort, but all he could feel in this moment… was guilt. Intense and overwhelming, like daggers cutting through him, sharpness bleeding through sweetness. Saint breathed deeply and stared at the medical equipment around the empty throne before him. "The cost of my joy," Saint whispered, and he wept.
He has a teddy bear. He once gave it to a child, but someone returned it to him when he was grieving about Osiris, to comfort him, and he'd kept it. And he put it on Mithrax's throne because he feels guilt that Mithrax is suffering because he helped him and Osiris.
I'm ending it all.
#destiny 2#destiny 2 spoilers#revenant#revenant spoilers#zavala#saint-14#osiris#mithrax#long post#i can't handle this#started reconsidering reading and being interested in lore after this#i'm just sitting here. who wrote this#these two lore tabs destroyed me#'the cost of my joy' saint loves mithrax so much it's unreal how much he can't handle that mithrax suffers essentially because of him#mithrax spent a lot of time with saint and they became absolute besties so saint thinks that mithrax felt compelled to help with osiris#and now he suffers for it and saint feels guilty. but he also feels guilty because what would be alternative. osiris forever in a coma?#saint basically having to choose between osiris and cursing mithrax and he feels bad because obviously it's osiris for him#but at what cost?#i'm about to lose it all seriously i'm gonna eat my walls
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