#and now hes suffering just a touch
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Gale's been at the highest amount of approval since before Act 2 started, so really there wasn't much of a point for Alfonso and him to do the romance quiz at the circus but after meeting Tara and getting invited to dinner at the tower in Waterdeep and killing a clown, I thought why not.
And I was WRONG. It was the exact opposite of pointless just for the way Gale has to crane his neck to stare lovingly stupid at his giant punch boyfriend.
Things are about to get so much more strained and stressful with the crown business and the rest of the adventure, but at least they have right now.
#al passed the quiz with flying colors of course#funnily enough he actually hasnt had to punch too much since they got to rivington#astarions been killing everything before he can#i think hes jealous#but for what whos knows#i certainly havent had the idea that hes been mad he got passed over for primo orc hours while that nerd got there first#certainly no thought that astarions got a little crush on the guy who feeds him and defends him and accepts him#and is his pal both in and out of combat#and now hes suffering just a touch#i would never have a thought like that. i abhor yearning about all else classically.#also alfonso hates the tall about astarion killing just a fuck load of people to become worse#as he should#anyways#bg3
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The other day, I was planning on doing some more studies of splatoon characters, but, uh-
Top Ten Things that DIDN'T Happen
Feat. These adorable highlighters I got from the store the other day, oh my goooosshhhhh, I love them so much, you don't even knooowwwwww
#my art#where's wally#where's waldo#sketchbook#odlaw#wenda#alright this is my post I can be weird in the tags guilt free#GRRRRAAAAAHHHHHH I LOVE THIS GUY!!!!!#Splatoon is still my number one creative inspiration don't get me wrong#but I do have some negative associations with it from someone I've cut out of my life#so there are times where I just CAN'T make art for it without upsetting myself#but my drawing motivation doesn't go away#used to I'd just suffer but now I have YYYYOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU#I can just go and fill page after page in my sketchbook with this guy and my mood is lifted INSTANTLY#and between the goofy nonsense of the 90s show and books#and the abject horror of the lumpy touch series#(and people 😳ing him)#he's just so versatile I can put him in ANY situation and it WILL make sense#combine that with the way I've fallen back in love with sketchbooking (?) recently#I AM HAVING SO MUCH FUN WITH MY ART LATELY#I FEEL LIKE I'M 12 AGAIN MAKING FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S FAN ART IN THE BACK OF THE CLASS#my art/sketchbook doesn't have to look “Good” I don't have to spend time agonizing over every line and take hours on one sketch#I can just scribble a guy and go about my day#tdlr therapy expensive Wally is free
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WHAT IS YOUR DEAL!!!!
#sorry this moment blindsided me and now I can't stop giggling#sixth doctor#it was very funny watching his moment while my cat was also trying to gnaw at my charging cable. something something life imitates art#peri get him away from the wires. please. every time he touches the tardis' internals she suffers some sort of catastrophic injury MANDSMAN#seeing him in a closet gnawing on wires while peri stands by the control panel like >:( is just <3 thank u classic who#peri you need to start kicking him in the knees i think. MNASDMAN#JUST GENTLY it'll be good for him#doctor who
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actually so evil how much of hal's internal world gets obliterated with the rewriting of his relationships with jessica and martin.
#hal jordan#empyrean posting#ok going in the tags because im not actually v confident in my understanding of his character. i read all of his 80s/90s stuff but forgot#90% of it but ANYWAY.#so much of him just does not make sense with how geoff johns characterises him and his relationships with his parents particularly the#parallax stuff simply because of how much his relationship with the guardians and their apathy/'betrayal' is influenced by hal's original#relationship with his dad. like at its heart it's pretty much the same dynamic in how hal blindly trusts and sort of idolises the guardians#despite their repeated infractions in hope of... something in return just as he had with his father and the abuse he suffered at martin's#hands. that's what makes his anger at the guardians make sense when it does show itself because the relationship parallel didn't stop there.#as with martin hal gets nothing for his devotion. he gets nothing for doing everything that's asked of him and more and it ends the same way#too: with a man in the sky burning like a newborn star. and you lose so much of that nuance and intrigue behind that if you just make#jessica the 'bad one' because!!! you cheapen it!!!!#the whole idea of hal is that he has his father's face but his mother's scars#(to me). in the sense that they both reacted to martin the same way with that cognisance of who he was as a man yet inability to pull away#because... love. both the love they had for him and the conviction that he did or could love them too. and jessica arguably did eventually#but also she didnt did she? because she held onto that notion of love till the very end. the few scraps she had she ballooned outwards until#they became the whole. but hal didnt have even that and he spent his whole life chasing it & running away from wanting it at the same time#like i think there's something so interesting to the fact that he had to be convinced that flying was what he wanted to do. how much of that#was touched by his father? the fear that he was already too much like him than he could bear to be? he already had his face now he had his#dreams and longing for the sky. how much more could he have before he began repeating the cycle?#and at the end he even had his father's death. burning in the clouds. like there's so much there and that's not even touching on how it#impacts his relationships with other heroes. not just in the sense of why did kyle clark and diana get to keep their close yet complex#relationships with their moms when hal had to lose his (although yeah why did they) but also just how he lets himself come across to them.#because it's on purpose right? that he lets them think his reflection of his father is born out of unadulterated love for a man worthy of it#? he has his father's job he wears his father's jacket he smiles his father's smile. what else are they supposed to think.#and isnt that interesting!!! that this man who is so committed to being good & just can lie so casually to people he thinks of as friends!!!#can you see how that might be his mother through and through!!! in how she might have glossed over the abuse to other people and herself!!!#can you see how in spite of it all he might want to be perceived as his father that paragon of masculinity and resent that he is not!!!#do you understand how everything he loves has been poisoned!!! im thinking of that scene where he tells bruce about watching martin die &#wouldnt it have been so much more interesting through this lens. how he is both revealing & obfuscating at once. i hate the change sm
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So I have consumed that whole SH2 remake James' mental illness and SA theory document and I gotta say.... It fits. I can really see it. My eyes are open. I wouldn't put it past a game like that to make suggestions in that direction.
Also printing the Silent Hill 2 novel off to read as we speak. I'm normal about that guy and his trauma I swear
#I feel like silent hill in general reflects all of a person's trauma and mistakes. So of course it would personify everything in James head#And it really makes sense the letters in the hospital would relate to him and his memories rather than be aimless world building#And I did always wonder. Cuz Eddie is a reflection on James murder. So Angela??#I can see that her story confronts James inner darker desires. Maybe intrusive thoughts. But now that I view it THAT way...#It makes sense she would be reflecting soemthing else. A similar suffering#And apparently the book touches on their similarities too. And it's official so#Anyway head full. Poor fucking guy. But also he's still a murdering selfish prick so. Yknow.#Just needed to vent my thoughts about it. Hyperfixation going through the motions rn#Nothing to do with the fact I also have complex and repressed trauma surrounding sex and SA.... Examining that guy so I don't examine mysel#Anyway I need to draw more silent hill
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So doing Orias story thing rn and two things
One:
This MF is nightmare fuel
(Slight Spoilers for the Orias' backstory)
Two: Tell me why my heart aches more for Orias' pain and suffering than it did for Leviathan's?
Is it because Leviathan's a massive cunt to MC? I'm gonna go with that- Poor Orias ;-;
Also CALLED IT HADES BITCHES ARE BITCHES
#what in hell is bad#whb#what in hell is bad screenshot#what in hell is bad orias#whb orias#what in hell is bad leviathan#whb leviathan#what in hell is bad hades#whb hades#No we aint gonna stop with the hades/leviathan slander here im petty#no but like Orias' suffering hurts my heart i just want to hug the kid he used to be#while not wanting to touch the person he is now with 10 ft pole...
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Ñíbrahge.
Hm?
Ñíbrahge. Means water that’s flat. It’s Otoe.
Yeah, Nebraska. Like I said.
Ñíbrahge.
chaske spencer as eli whipp // The English (2022) 1.05 “The Buffalo Gun”
#the english#chaske spencer#eli whipp#this WHOOOOOOOLE SCENE LIKE IM NOT KIDDING.... the entire conversation leading up to + including the buffalo gun scene#some of the best cinema of the year. of a long time. it's bonkers#the tension the triumph the horror the release the catharsis#the HARMONICA on the soundtrack even as that guy falls off his horse. the gun jousting#the use of spacial and sonic geography#the cinnamontographies#ELI SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I'll literally never get over it#he's magnificent#roaring out with his whole body so hard he rises up out of the saddle!!!!!!!!!!!!#the fact that he's gone from 'not my business' and turning a blind eye to all the suffering around him#and his whole arc takes him to talk with different other Native characters and their stance on everything. Charlie White. the homesteaders#Kills on Water and now Touching Ground#through them he sees that just as they see all the white people as The English because they'll always ally with each other#he needs to ally himself to his past if he's gonna have any chance of survival#and of being true to himself as a deeply honourable man!!!#so he goes from literally keeping quiet ('Learnt not to [talk]' 'See why we don't talk much')#to literally h o w l i n g his rage out across the plains#we've never seen him like this before and it's important that it comes right after the conversation about residential schools#im the one yellin
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can’t wait for the serf to get better from the tattoo and then instantly die of embarrassment once they realise how they’ve been incessantly cuddly around the terrifying thing that is elias. I don’t think he would even acknowledge it, he would just ask you how you felt and then send you off to polish his armour. all the while you’re thinking ‘holy shit I was in his lap I was in his lap I was in his lap’ about a man who you saw cannibalise his own family member just a week ago
:)
No spoilers, anon <3
#elias: i hope she never touches me again what the fuck was that#serf: I'm going to die for that i know it he's just waiting to watch me suffer#elias: what are you doing on the floor we're homies now#serf: WHAT IS THIS TORTUROUS GAME WE PLAY#raven lady answers
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having a rough time today, we're going to have to say goodbye to gabe tomorrow and i'm not ready in the least
#i still feel like there's so much more i should've been able to do even though i know we did everything we could#and i don't want to risk making him suffer just because i'm upset and don't want to say goodbye#the prednisone doesn't seem to be helping anymore and now he's got internal bleeding and having a hard time breathing#and yet he still tries to bite me if i go to pet him lol#13 years and he still hates when anyone touches him
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important to understand that my approach to oc design and characterization depends explicitly on how i'm playing that specific game, like. a thing you should know about ilya is that he is the kind of person who will dive into the middle of a large pull ahead of the tank and pop all of his mitigation while screaming because i get distracted and do that. constantly.
... it's the siren's call of the big aoe damage noises, ok.
#mostly im thinking about these things because they're the easy things to think about#i am. very. very. bad. at like deeplore dives lmao#so bad!!!!!!! i'm here for the emotional complexity do Not ask me where this man lives i don't know#... i do know.#once it starts branching out into history and family lore and godforbid fucking cultural lore i am just#so dumb. i'm so dumb i was not designed for worldbuilding even if it's just the world of one weird little guy#v invested in other people's sandboxes because mine is very small and it's also just full of rocks.#anyway.#my partner: BABY MOOOOOOOOODE#me: it's okay my heal is up it'll be FINE#also increasingly play casters like melee dps so everybody gets to suffer that as well#ilya standing directly under a very large guy in his stupid leylines like MANAWARD'S UP IT'S FINE#.... i dont play blm as much now honestly because to contribute i have to be less stupid. and that's not fun.#i really. REALLY enjoy the big melee dps damage noises#they're across the board better than caster noises. so disappointing because in my heart i am On Fire#sam+pal noises are the best noises in the game#SPINNING#i'm thinking too hard about backstories and it's not going well lmao#grabbing this creature by the shoulders and shaking him violently like WHO ARE YOOOOOOOU#concussed probably his brain is just sloshing around in there#babg mode blogging#this is also why he's canonically A Guy Who Touches Things He Shouldn't#because i'm that guy.#i'm the guy who touches things.#this explains sehren also like she would not be who she is if i didnt play dragona age with wild hubris and abandon#.... it wasnt fun unless i was wildly underleveled in places i didnt belong ok#every if mc ive gotten invested in also
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I keep seeing rancid poto opinions on Pinterest and they make me gag. Someone had the AUDACITY to say that they hated Raoul because he took away Erik's last chance at happiness. uM?! Just say you hate Christine and want her to suffer, it'd take less time
#hi christine tried to COMMIT SUICIDE because the thought of being stuck with erik was THAT horrible#but book aside looking just at the play#she still didnt want to be with him#she was terrified of him and said outright that she wanted freedom#dont get me wrong i love erik as a character i think hes such an interesting person and villain#but he IS a villain#hes manipulative and murderous and obsessive among other things and he didnt actually love christine#at least not in the way his fangirls like to think he did#erik was selfish and he caused christine so much suffering#anyway#this is a raoul fan blog now#but more than that#this is a christine fan blog#dont touch my loves I WILL FIGHT
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i am having many thoughts on how Dazai's humanity has shifted from his pm days to now, at the ada, and how this has effected his relationships with various people in different ways and i--
#hello yes i do have a big assignment due today#why do you ask?#dazai is a damn parasite and i can't stop thinking about him#but just. JUST#one example#skk in the pm days#such an interesting dynamic and i love them#but#BUT#i don't think any sort of real relationship could have ever happened#Dazai was actively pushing away his humanity at the time (perhaps one day i will elaborate what i mean by this)#versus now#Dazai is more in touch with his human side#still confused and a bit lost#but more human and more open (which is to say. he sort of expresses himself. sometimes.)#so 22 skk can be something so much more#the way he interacts with Atsushi vs Aku is a very very good example of the ways he has changed#and the ways he views humanity in himself and in those around him#and don't even get me started on him and Kuni or Ranpo or--#bsd#anyway#back to suffering uni work#but i will (maybe) come back to this with more cohesive thoughts
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i love normal men
#tf2#team fortress 2#soldier tf2#engineer tf2#my art#2023#the engie headcanon i hold dear to my heart is that he suffers from the worst intrusive thoughts#every time that man touches a building his brain goes 'SELF-MUTILATE. RIGHT NOW.'#and in true tf2 fashion he channels that energy outwards and kills people instead of hurting himself (...most of the time.)#we love healthy coping mechanisms :)#oh and if we're keeping with mental health headcanons: soldier's got psychosis#i just haven't fleshed that one out yet
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Apparently cooking up a hellspawn one shot 🙏
#im obsessed with them#and the dynamic of the immortal falling in love with the mortal whose time is coming dangerously close to an end#her finding the strength to keep fighting to hold onto her future with him just a little longer#astarion finding the strength to accompany her to hell with confidence#bc he isnt going to spend his first moments of freedom mourning the woman he loves#when he could be spending that time with her making do with impossible odds like#they've faced the impossible before multiple times together already#and now she isnt alone and he will make damn well sure she never is#and like karlach MELTING to his love language#she's starved for touch and he is all romantic touch and just#he's that cat that took a minute to warm up but then became a lap cat and now demands lap time at all times#and karlach is just#she needs to be loved in a way that respects that she never wants to experience that profound loneliness again#bc it was 10 years of not being able to trust anyone#and the only friend being someone whose friendship came at the cost of karlach suffering in some way#anyways now im thinking about wyll and how these three would be a hilarious polycule#astarion is their princess
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when you meet a Guy and he is 99.9% perfection but the Holy Spirit says no
#i don’t like like guys often (my last crush was high school) so when i do i just 😳 get a lil fluttered#soo when i met this guy the first time i was like o he’s cute and sweet and just easy to talk to and i was like if i allowed myself j could#let myself like him but then i didn’t see him for a while kinda forgot about him one of my friends is close with him so id see him on his i#story a lot this summer and it was like oh ya he’s cute whatever#but last saturday i saw his at this lil party and omgoodness he’s so cute in person#and GUYS!! MUTUALS MY BELOVED 😭🥹🫠🤭😫 HE TAUGHT ME HKW TO PLAY POOL AND HE WAS TOUCHING MY HAND AKSKDKJDKDKFKFJJFJFF#and there was a lot of casual touching and stuff omgoodness and he was buying everyone soda and stuff and he smelt sooo good#and tHEN AT THE END OF THE NIGHT I GAVE HIM MY SNAP#but then i was praying when i got home before bed and was talking to the Holy Spirit and He was like you could have a relationship w/ this#person and everything would be great physically and emotionally but you will suffer spirtiually and then i started thinking about the progr#ss i've made this summer w/ my relationship w/ God and ya it's definitely not worth it i wouldn't trade Jesus for anything or one#soo now i have to kill the streak i have with him on snap bc it's just not wise to be talking back and forth yk? and if God says so i gotta#do it#ig it's hard cause it's nice being liked liking someone who likes you but God knows better than me soooooo pay ya girl listens and has#and i was talking to my friend who knows him better than me and she was like ya he's such a sweet kind funny guy but he doesn't have a rela#ionship w/ God as far as she knows sooo#the strength to withstand 😭#vk overshares in the tags
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Damnit lev lmfao. I was thinking about Shiva wearing corpse ash being resonant for other reasons, something about his relationship with the Bright Skinned Ones and death and whatever. No, no. More fucking importantly: Oh I wonder why Shiva is known for. you know. wearing bodies. his appearance is a mass of bodies joined together. yeah
#Leviathan is a mass of bodies. Shiva wears the ash of burned corpses. Transforming in both cases the masses into the Matter of the Bodiless#ramblings //#leviathan //#Maheshvara //#Not surprised this is coming up now he loves his fun fact time. Earlier I was poking at what he was doing#because he's... very distracted. And uh. Somewhere over yonder doing war stuff with people. And I was thinking about how he is just so many#circumstance based people at the same time. He'll be doing paperwork in a Royal Office somewhere and on a battlefield elsewhere and#running through the forest as a deer somewhere else and living as members of a school of fish in some transcendental lake#and scrying the pools of God and watching birds in a forest... and he incarnates here too and will be a chef downtown#and a teacher somewhere else up also doing paperwork and some dog on the street begging for food and and and#And over all of it... That central blissful mind that is water itself. all it's senses of self - emotions. thoughts. and so on - arising#from its various movements and shapes as reflections on the surface. But also... a sweet thing. Anyway#That black umbrella Lev that's deep and beyond names... beloved.... Searching for someone...#Shiva throws himself down into reality to bounce around as rays of light... the sun incarnating through the day sky into plants then into#animals and so on slowly recollecting more and more who he is. Searching for Shiva#always. Well. You found him. But then... Well. You go past the crying screaming stage of birth and then you get to fun#You gestate. You know who you are when the Sun's light touches your eyes. You scream at it. You change. You grow.#Then you learn the world is fun... People talk about how it seems ridiculous that someone who had achieved oneness would come back#and I wholly agree on a side thought relevant to that that most people who claim to know oneness don't know it#because the idea of oneness itself is actually a product of duality IE you have to be on a world where Two exists to understand One#One doesn't exist in a unified world. There's no One. In a unified world... So you can absolutely achieve a state of oneness while still#being non-unified if you don't truly get it... But anyway. On the why come back thing... Yeah people don't get it. But people who do get it#come back all the time. This reality is just an experience. You can spend your entire life asleep or you can come play and experience#So. Lev's incarnations on this plane mirror his incarnation of Shiva Into Bodies... He comes here to play games. He plays#He takes photos. He wanders. He plays music for people on street corners. He laughs. He loves. He suffers. He experiences.#Sometimes he doesn't understand. Sometimes he understands. Anyway.... Looking through his eyes... Iridescent scene of cranes#flying over a sunset more rich than I've ever seen on earth but so natural. Fire without fire. Water catching and soaking up every colour.
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