#and now I'm struggling
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Absolutely befuddled and bewildered that my own house is no longer safe for my food allergy because my mother in law refused to actually listen.
#It's been hell for this week#I just wanna write but instead I'm almost having allergic reactions#Because she decided to clean the beef pan with the veggie scrubber#And now I'm struggling#About ren
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Played too much badminton today because I couldn't say no to my sister and now my entire body hurts😭😭😭
#i already played with my friend this morning#my sister asked me in the evening and she never does so i said yes#and now I'm struggling
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someone yell at me to write flufftober ugh I'm stalling and I'm on my last three fics
#the way I've procrastinated this should be studied#have been grinding since august#literally used to write one or two a day#and now I'm struggling#where is the stamina#millietalks
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Cannot believe the food I put spicy seasoning in is spicy
#this is not the chicken noodle soup#it's veggies and meatballs#but i put taco seasoning in it#and now i'm Struggling#i speak#missy vs food
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The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
#it's bad if you want i have sex it's also bad if you DON'T want to have sex#god forbid if you're a woman in a heterosexual marriage and aren't in the mood#that's 'withholding sex' and you're clearly abusive scum who should be divorced and left without any of your shared assets.#but if you DO have sex now you're a degenerate freak plotting for the downfall of western society#i don't know what to say i'm just so tired#politics#culture#queerphobia#lgbtqia#misogyny#<it's not the exclusive source but let's be honest sooo much of this is integral to the patriarchy#patriarchy needs access to an underclass they can treat like sex objects but they also don't want them to have any human rights#so sexuality is both obligatory and stigmatized#purity culture#i'm really struggling with tagging this because most of the appropiate tags would- in a beautiful twist of irony- get me booted off tumblr
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People all over the world are thinking of you!
#donutdrawsthings#original art#lgbt#lgbt community#us politics#i wanted to bring a doodle of bittersweet hope to the table since so many people are struggling right now#doodle#i'm not qualified to say if it is or isn't going to be ok#all i know is that you're all in the hearts of many
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"I've been thinking of a new recipe lately.."
#can you tell I'm struggling to come up with dialogue#march's and balor's came so easily to me#I think I'm pausing on the FoM marriage candidates portraits for now#want to do smth else to spark some creativity again cus I'm feeling stale#fields of mistria#fom reina#fom fanart#o0kawaii0o
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can we pretend none of S2 ever happened
#arcane characters have such unique features I love it#I've been struggling to draw them for a while now but I'M FINALLY GETTING THE HANG OF IT YAY#kisses and smiles for Viktor#arcane#jayvik#jayce talis#viktor
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Look what we've become.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Initially I wanted to do a 'Mutiny' quote to follow the 'Luck runs out' quote.#But the musical earworms demanded a different blood to be drawn. And I think it works just as well.#Alright. It's time to confess something. I really struggled with this comic. I didn't want to draw it. Then I didn't want to upload it.#Because I knew I would be here in the tags writing and backspacing for hours trying to articulate my thoughts.#I'm going to talk about death and grief in the tags today so this is your WARNING to look away if you aren't in a headspace for it.#Sometimes in media there are scenes and characters which land on topics so specific to your wounds that it reopens them all over again.#Because here's the truth. When you've known someone like this for nearly your whole life...it doesn't matter how bad the fight is.#You always think 'We'll always have time. One day this dust will settle and we'll rebuild the bridge.'#And then the fucker dies!!! He dies and suddenly there will never ever be time to repair the rift.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. And part of you did just a bit. But love and hate aren't mutually exclusive.#He's fucking dead and you are left with so many broken and unfinished pieces between the two of you.#Jiang Cheng loses Wei Wuxian thinking that WWX thought they hated each other.#He's a younger brother who will one day be older than the person he lost.#Who has no one else in the world who understands those feelings of love and hate and grief.#I can't be normal about this character. I don't think he even heals me. Zero catharsis to be gained here.#I just look at his sour grape ass and think 'shit that's a little too close to home.' JC is my discomfort character.#I'm probably going to regret being this vulnerable in the tags in like. An hour. So. sorry if you see this once and never again.#EDIT: Yeah sorry this took 4 hours to muster the courage to post. Surprise update!#EDIT 2: You guys were being too nice to me on my sad comic to point out the spelling error. I have fixed it now B'*)
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Deny. Defend. Depose.
It is clear to those of us that live in America, the only people we truly have on our side are ourselves. The ruling class has made it clear we don't matter to them.
Luigi Mangione was arrested and happened to have every single piece of evidence on him that law enforcement was looking for, including the parts for the ghost gun, inside his backpack (that he also got rid of in Central Park containing the Monopoly money???). Either he was trying to get caught or that evidence was planted. And when he was being forcefully pushed into the jail, he hollered back to the press about "injustice" and "being an insult to the intelligence of American citizens and our lived experiences."
The people have now turned against corporate America and the CEOs and billionaires are fucking terrified. Nothing the news stations are saying to us are changing our minds. The American people have finally united over this issue and there is no going back for us. Whoever did kill Brian Thompson (and theories abound on the game The Adjuster is playing because no one plays Monopoly alone) exposed the very real divide that exists between every day citizens and the extremely wealthy. Things were easier for them to control when they were able to divide us, but now that we are aware of how uncertain our future is in America and seeing just how little we matter to the people who take our money, we have realized that we have more in common with each other than the people who control every aspect of our lives. We are waking up.
There isn't one person in this country who hasn't been a victim to the predatory scam that is private health insurance. Medical debt is the leading cause of bankruptcy in America, and many of us are one ambulance ride or hospital stay away from homelessness. We all know people who have died because the insurance company denied them the treatment they needed or waited until it was too late for an approval of a medical claim to matter anymore.
Recently, I decided to be tested for autism and ADHD. Not life-threatening or anything, but my life is still in shambles and I want to know if I'm going untreated for something else. Before being tested though, I was informed that the insurance company (Aetna) has said that they were going to cover the full cost of the testing I was having (which was six hours of testing by the way). She even made sure several times that they were, in fact, going to cover it in full and they said yes.
The same day that Brian Thompson, CEO of another horrible healthcare company, was murdered in broad daylight, I received a call from that doctor's office with the woman telling me that Aetna was now telling her they never agreed to cover my testing and that they are going to bill me for $1600 (where the hell am I supposed to get that?) and she is fighting them, but considering our lives don't matter to the people who tell us what healthcare we are and are not allowed to receive, I don't think they will feel compelled to change their minds because they are bloodsucking parasites who only care about lining their pockets while I don't even have $6 lying around, let alone $1600!!
Corporate America leeches off our taxes. They take and take and take and we see nothing in return. They raise prices on insurance coverage and then deny us the very coverage that we pay for. They poison our food, price gouge our poisoned food, and then force us to pay for the treatment we get when the food makes us sick. Corporate America profits off of our hard work, our taxes, our health, our lives, our deaths.
I don't know if this will reach a larger audience or not, but I wanted to talk about it on Tumblr because this platform seems to be a crossroads for every type of creative soul. I initially brought up this idea on TikTok earlier, but I want to see if it can get traction in other places as well since I have fewer than 3,000 followers on TikTok (and I have seen a small few express interest in my idea in the hours since I posted the video.)
We're busy being lectured by politicians and the news media because while they are clutching their pearls at what happened to Brian Thompson, the rest of us do not give one single flying fuck about what happened to him. As CEO of a for-profit health insurance company, he signed off on denied claims and death for those of us who struggle to make it from one day to the next. The sicker you are, the poorer you are, the more they force you to struggle and pay. The love to deny coverage because regardless of whether we live or die, they already have the money we are forced to pay them.
I don't condone murder at all, but I also don't care that he was murdered because he was guilty of murdering so many more people in this country through legal means because it's profitable. The CEOs are scared and there are wanted posters with their names and faces popping up in places. Every CEO of every healthcare company is guilty of murdering Americans and they continue to go unpunished for it because "it's just business".
So (if you've read this far) all of this previous rambling is to say that I keep thinking about how I want to make an impression. I want to continue upsetting the billionaires and the CEOs because corporate America is full of murderers who are legally allowed to decide whether we live or die based on which outcome will give them more money.
I have thought about the idea of creating a wall/constructing a wall somewhere as an art piece or something (making a statement) that will somehow honor the memory of people who died because insurance denied them care.
I know I definitely want it to say something along the lines of "In memory of those murdered by for-profit healthcare systems in corporate America". Something blatant. Loud. Something they are forced to look at every single day. Somehow. The wall could have images of those who are gone, or names of the person who died with the name of the insurance company responsible for their death underneath. Just something to make it clear that we see them for what they are. Something to avenge those who were sacrificed so billionaires and CEOS and shareholders could brag about record profits. Something that shows the whole world that American citizens are waking up to who the real monsters are.
The Adjuster (whoever he is or is not) has fanned the flames of revolution in America. He managed to unite us in a way I can't even recall before. It's not over. We know what happened to Brian Thompson was just the beginning, and corporate America only just now realized how much we actually hate them. A single shooter has sparked an awakening in America that is starting to snowball into something much bigger.
So if there is anyone out there who might be interested in collaborating on something like this, please let me know. I know we are all tired and demoralized and we have no money. I want to make a statement though, and I love doing that through art or writing. Collaborating with other people who have been through this same shit will also probably help us unite even more.
This is a watershed moment in American history.
In the words of Kanan Jarrus, Jedi Knight,
"There is a future for us. One where we're all free. But it's up to us to make it happen."
#united states of america#luigi mangione#brian thompson#corporate America is an enemy to the rest of us#united healthcare#aetna#health insurance#deny defend depose#class war#not left vs right but up vs down#project mayhem 2025#revolution is happening now#free luigi mangione#i've been struggling with how to make my voice heard or what kind of impression to leave#and i also really want to bully the 1%#two things i'm good at are being creative and being a petty ass bitch
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Amsha and Richard Bashir piss me off so bad. "Oh but Jules you were just so small and dumb as a first grader so of course the next logical step was to have you illegally genetically enhanced. You don't have children so you just wouldn't understand Jules. It was truly the only thing we could do." Throw yourselves off a cliff.
#star trek#ds9#julian bashir#when your kid is struggling you get them a coach or something you don't immediately turn to genetic enhancement#I rewatched doctor Bashir I presume and now I'm pissed off
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#the soup talks#schizoaffective#actually schizospec#schizophrenia#psychosis#actually schizophrenic#delusions#struggling right now to not see connections when they keep adding up#i have a feeling it's going to lead to a delusion so I'm trying to prevent it all
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now we're talking shera catra
#i love it when i struggle with colours for like an hour and the it suddenly clicks and i make colours look right together#without really understanding how#eh#now I'm going to tag it with all the stupid little tags#art#she ra#she ra and the princesses of power#she ra catra#she ra fanart#spop#idk#what else is there#catra#spop catra#ALSO I'M REFUSING TO GIVE HER BLONDE SHERA HAIR UH-HUH
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Lone warrior: 50%
#double life spoilers#basically the entire dlsmp#Didn't compile every single frame I finished but heck it this is 50% done and its barely presentable#BUT I'm tired of struggling in secret so I'm going to struggle in public from now on.#Can anyone hear me? I hope this reaches at least one person that sorta see where I'm going with this#yeah i over-scoped this but im stubborn as hell so its probably fine#I have a bunch of sketches related to this amv that i havent even shown anyone yet so im going to post them in a bit.
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#kirby#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#still yakuza lmao#I don't remember which day I started it but it was definitely no earlier than the 30th#I think I didn't start until I actually got holiday packages into the mail on the 3rd.#my partner started playing it like the day after it got released for switch#which I think was late october?#but he has like. a job. so he's just been playing an hour here a couple hours there yknow#we are both very much getting our money's worth though lol#I try to stop playing by midnight but I didn't manage that today -n-#I really wanted to find the last 2000 yen bill without looking it up but I was Struggling#(I did find it tho)#I've still got a decent amount of stuff left to do#even discounting the completion list stuff that doesn't interest me like the gambling#which I might at least try to do anyway#but we're both in chapter 9 of the main story now (although he's already a ways in)#(and I technically haven't done the last conversation of chapter 8 but I did all the actual Doin Stuff)#it sounds like there's probably 10 chapters from a thing I saw having to look up where majima was hiding the first time?#that's the only thing I've looked up so far though.#anyway I'm having fun#this is why I refused to start playing yakuza until I finished my holiday crafts.#oh wait I also looked up a clarifying explanation on one of the dragon moves you have to learn#I wanna do as much of it as I can without external guides#update from the next day I was incorrect about there being 10 chapters yay :)#more game for meeeee
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I posted about this project back in June, when I was having tension troubles. I almost frogged it halfway through, but instead, I gave her a nice long four month time-out to think about her misdeeds before circling back.
Mistakes were made, but it all worked out in the end. I forgot to knit the dinosaurs' eyes and just decided to roll with it, and it took a steaming bath and some serious ironing to get the fibers to relax, but she's finished.
#my work#i haven't posted anything i've made in a while because life has been busy#not super pleased with how this one turned out but you'll have that every now and again#i have never struggled with stranded colorwork before this project but here we are and fuck i'm so glad it's over#knitting#knit cowl#personal#fiber arts#stranded colorwork
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