#and now ANOTHER 4 years were barely getting the next continuation

[undyinglantern]

4 years..........

[midnight-hotel]

Missing (Alastor x Reader)

My first fic in 4+ years, please go easy on me. This story occurs during and after the final episode of season one. Enjoy and feel free to give feedback!

Coughs racked your body as you struggled to take in a breath of dust polluted air. Pain shot through your undoubtedly broken ribs and back with every cough, blood splattering across your bottom lip and tongue, amplifying the smell of iron in the air. Wrapping an arm around yourself, you stared up at the executioner who was quickly approaching with their broken spear. 

‘Shit- I might actually die here…’ 

They lunged, ready to plunge their holy weapon through your skull. You tried, with all your might, to push off the wall and away from death’s path, failing to notice that it wouldn’t have come to begin with. The next time you looked back at the angel, they were on the ground, covered in their alarmingly golden blood, several holes littering their body. 

Looking around, alarmed, you realised that you had been saved, but by who? Your eyes briefly met with Angel Dust’s, and in that moment, you knew your saviour. With no time to show your gratitude, you spat a mouthful of blood onto the ground and stood, grabbing the angel’s broken weapon to take as your own. If Alastor’s shield could fail, then there was no way you could take a moment to stop and breathe, everyone needed you to keep fighting, as much as you needed them to as well. You could only hope they were all okay. 

It seemed like there was no end to the onslaught of angels. They just kept coming out of that damned doorway into heaven. You were growing tired, injuries burning and only getting worse, but stopping now would only lead to your death and possibly the death of others. Stabbing another Angel through the chest, you kicked their body away, stealing their intact spear to replace the broken one you had left in the corpse. That’s when you heard more commotion from behind and then an irritatingly familiar voice. Turning, you understood why everything had kicked up a gear.

Adam was still alive? But that could only mean…

“Alastor!” His name tore up your throat as you quickly looked up towards the roof of the hotel. Shit- he couldn’t be… but would he have really allowed Adam to get away and rejoin the fight? 

Dropping the spear in your hands, you ran for the hotel, barging in through the doors and rushing up the stairs. You needed to get to him. He couldn’t be dead. 

Third floor.

The whole building began to shake as you reached the third floor. Looking down the stairwell, just barely able to see through the dust, you could make out Dazzle and… was that Vaggie? You contemplated jumping down to help- Dazzle was clearly not about to get up but… you needed to get to Alastor. Vaggie would be fine. So, you continued running up the stairs- cursing yourself for not being in better shape.

Sixth Floor.

The building shook again. ‘Shit- I don’t know if I’m going to make it up there.’ It sounded like the fight had made it to the top of the hotel already. Based on the rubble constantly falling overhead and how the place was quickly falling apart.

Seventh Floor. 

There was a bright light- a flash really- and you think you heard screaming? Fuck it, there had been non stop screaming for the past hour, what was one more? Your vision had hardly cleared from the flashbang when the whole building started to come down. Dropping to the ground, you tucked yourself into a corner, hoping that there was enough structural strength in that section of the building to prevent you from being crushed. The last thing you could recall was the feeling of something falling on top.

Who knows how much time had passed before you were being pulled from the rubble. There was too much going on- too many people talking at once, too many people hovering… you reached out, swatting away the faces that were too close. 

“Alastor… where’s Alastor?” you croaked, trying to push yourself up into a seated position. Your beaten body screamed at you- begging for you to just lay there and rest, but you needed to know if he was okay- needed to know where he was. 

Multiple hands helped you up, but you took no notice of who it was. From who you could see, the makeshift army hadn’t lost too many numbers but everyone was about as fucked up as you were. 

“We… don’t know…” You turned your head to Charlie who looked as if she had been crying. Of course she had… out of everyone, losing anyone would have hit her the hardest. Your heart sank. No one had seen him? Looking around at the others- even Husk shook his head, almost looking worried, before he spoke up. 

“He’s not dead. Not yet anyway. That asshole’s probably hiding away somewhere, butt hurt that he lost to an angel,” he grunted out, subconsciously bringing a hand to his throat. Of course Husk would know if Alastor was gone… he’s bound to him after all. 

“He could be buried under there though- we need to search. He could be dying in there,” You tried to argue, standing only to stumble back into what used to be the hotel. 

Angel Dust grabbed you by the wrist to stop you, pulling you back. “Easy there Doll Face. We’ll find him or he’ll show up. You’re in no state to go digging through what’s left right now.”

It wasn’t fair. How could everyone walk away from the disaster that was once their home while there were still people missing?

That was three weeks ago. As you laid in bed, in a room provided by Lucifer himself to those who had nowhere else to go, you stared up at the ceiling, thinking the last few weeks over. Everyone’s injuries had been healing pretty well, though yours were a tad worse since you had the building come down on top of you. There was a lot of talk about rebuilding the hotel. Plans had been drawn up and Charlie and Lucifer had teamed up to clear the rubble from the original hotel so that everyone could start building fresh when the time was right. 

There was also a lot of talk on what to do about the lost lives. Memorials were being planned out, names of the fallen cannibals taken down in order to properly remember those who sacrificed themselves for the cause, a painting for Pentious and even a statue of some kind. You hadn’t really been listening to that part. You hadn’t listened to much at all really, either constantly lost in thought or bed bound by your injuries. You were getting pretty sick of not being present, physically and mentally.

As you closed your eyes to sleep, something inside the room moved. Eyes snapping back open, you quickly looked to where you saw the movement, just barely catching the tail end of a shadow disappearing from outside your door. Climbing out of bed, you pulled a robe over your bandaged body and quickly exited the room, looking around for whatever it was that you had just seen. There was no one in sight. All the other occupied rooms in the hallway had their doors closed and lights off, so you doubted it was one of them. Right as you were about to head back into the room, you saw it again, rushing around a corner.

Quickly you ran after it, hoping that by the time you reached the corner, it wouldn’t have disappeared. Injuries, mostly healed but still tender, began to ache from the sudden strain as you tried to keep up with the shadow that passed through another door. 

Before you could open it and continue your pursuit, you had to stop and catch your breath. Healing ribs ached and your once punctured lung protested with every deep breath taken. Sucking in one more deep breath, you pushed yourself to open the door, leading out into the courtyard. Pretty big place for just one person to be living in most of the time, but this is the home of the king of hell himself, so you supposed it was fitting.

Subconsciously holding your ribs, you looked around for the shadowy figure again, but in the dark, there was no way you would be able to see it so easily. Without really realising it, you had walked further into the courtyard, admiring the garden in the small amount of light that was available. ‘Lots of roses… surprised there isn’t an apple tree or something.’

“They are quite beautiful aren’t they?” A voice suddenly spoke up, making you jump. Whipping around, wincing as your bruises and stitches stretched, you eyed off the culprit.

“Of course, I much prefer Nerium over roses.”

“Alastor…” Standing before you was the man who had made this last week a living hell. Did he not realise how much sleep you had lost, not knowing if he was okay? How worried you had been? 

“Only because they’re toxic you freak…” you retorted softly, not even sure if he had heard it as you slowly approached him.

“I had a feeling it was your shadow I had seen… You’re the only sonofabitch I know who can do that.”

Stopping just short of the man, you stared up at him with tired eyes. He looked down at you, that stupid grin on his face, like it always was. 

“Now Darling, must you use such language during our happy reunion? Aren’t you happy to see me?” He mocked, before you weakly punched him in the chest.

You hadn’t even realised it but you had started crying sometime after seeing him standing there. “You asshole… Don’t you know how fucking worried I was about you? Where have you been?” You hit him again, hardly bothering him by the looks of it, as he hardly flinched with every hit. He was a lot stronger than you were… but you supposed you didn’t really want to hurt him.

“Why couldn’t you have at least told us you were okay? Why didn’t you show yourself? I was scared you were dying under the hotel or something- after losing Pentious- I don’t know what we would have done if we found you dead as well.”

A hand dropped onto the top of your head, silencing you and you stopped hitting him, dropping your arms and instead, falling forward to rest your head on his chest.

“I apologise for causing you such grief my dear. I must be honest, I had some loose ends I needed to tie off before I could return. If I had been able to inform you of my whereabouts, I would have,” Alastor remarked, a familiar, almost comforting radio static coating every word. 

“Everything is okay now though isn’t it? We’re all alive and we can start rebuilding the hotel much faster now that I’m back! Though I must say, I am honoured that you care so much!”

You shut your eyes, concentrating on the hand that was gently petting your head before pulling back. “You’re a liar. You got hurt. You can fool everyone else as much as you want Al… but you can’t fool me that easily. I’ve known you far too long for that. You got hurt and you should have come to me. Hell, I was coming after you- to help you and I got crushed because of it!” You didn’t mean to raise your voice, or blame him for the building falling on top of you, it just happened. You wiped your tears away with the back of your hand and watched as his gaze softened a little while his smile remained. 

“You said it yourself (Y/N), you’ve known me too long, to think I didn’t get away. But, if it’s all the same, I apologise. I truly never meant to frighten you.” Alastor cupped your cheek, gently guiding you to meet his red gaze. “I promise, from now on, I will assure you I am okay before running anymore of my long term errands. Okay?”

Anyone could tell he was still hiding things from you, but what more could you do? You knew him well, but you didn’t think anyone truly knew what was going on inside of Alastors mind other than Alastor himself. 

“Okay…”

“Wonderful Darling. Come now, I do believe we should be getting you back to bed. Those wounds aren’t going to finish healing if you keep running around like a headless chicken.” Spinning you around, he set a hand onto your lower back and started heading you back to your room so that you could get some rest. Typical Alastor… always quick to disturb and dismiss… but at least he was okay. You felt like, as long as he was okay, maybe you could be okay as well.

[mymindisneverhere]

Just Keep Breathing

Summary: Terry teaches you some important breathing techniques. 

warnings: 18+ (MDNI!), SMUT, anxiety, stage fright, drunk sex, unprotected sex, talking you through it, use of the n-word (barely), dirty talking (forgive me if I missed any)

a/n: I wrote this at 4 in the morning cause I couldn’t sleep and I barely edited it chile. Enjoy!

Now back to writing Favors, Pt. 6 will be up in a few days! 🩵

You held onto your chest as you tried your hardest to catch your breath. Your mind was racing, so many thoughts were happening all at once. You felt a migraine sit in the back of your head and slowly begin to spread throughout your temple. You shook almost as if it were freezing where you were but the temperature was just fine. Another anxiety attack… 

It had been months since the last time you felt this way. You had picked up on a few tools and techniques that helped you to bring your anxiety down to zero when you felt it build in your nervous system. Along with the techniques, you had your boyfriend who did an amazing job at helping you stay grounded. Terry was patient and understanding, there was never a moment where he made you feel like your situation was too much for him. 

“Breathe baby, just breathe.” He coached you through this moment. 

You were preparing to perform your poem for the first time in two years. You fell in love with poetry as a teenager with help from your favorite English teacher who introduced you to different types of poetry and famous poets. Poetry was your way of expressing your innermost feelings, especially when you couldn’t find the strength to say them out loud. 

There were two people ahead of you, you still had plenty of time to ground yourself. You still had plenty of time to bring your mind into the present moment and stop worrying about the future because the future didn’t exist. 

“Inhale for four seconds, hold for seven, exhale for eight.” Terry walked you through one of the breathing techniques you learned from him. “I’ll breathe with you.” 

You did exactly what he told you to do, inhaling and exhaling at the same time as him. You looked up at him as you continued focusing on your breathing, completely unconcerned with the stage fright that had consumed you a few minutes ago. He stared down at you, having you repeat the technique until he could sense a calmness wash over your face. 

Your body began to relax as you continued breathing. Your heart rate returned to normal, your headache slowly began to fade and your body was back to its resting state. Closing your eyes for a few seconds, grateful that you had him by your side, you opened them slowly and looked up at him. 

“I think I’m okay.” You said, letting him know that he can free himself of the worry he had for you. 

“You sure?” He asked. He wasn’t trying to push you into doing something you weren’t comfortable with doing. All you had to do was say the word and he’d get you home where you felt safe and secure. Just the two of you. 

But you needed to face your biggest fear. Being seen in the spotlight, displaying your talents while allowing yourself to be completely vulnerable in front of an auditorium full of strangers. 

“I’m fine baby, honestly.” You smiled, watching his expression soften. “Thank you.” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too!” He placed a soft kiss on your forehead as you prepared to go on stage. 

“Next up we have, (reader) coming to the mic.” The host announced. The crowd snapped as you walked onto the stage. You slowly walked to the microphone that sat on the stand. You sent a silent thank you to the creator above, grateful that it was already at the right height for you. Fondling with the mic stand would’ve sent you down another spiral and there was no time for that. 

Snaps filled the room as you thanked the crowd before disappearing backstage. Once you were completely out of the audience's view, you ran to Terry, jumping into his arms. He spun you around as you held onto his neck, legs wrapped around his torso. You did it! You had finally faced your biggest fear and you did it with no mess ups, no stuttering, no overthinking. It was almost as if the joy you gained from writing took over during your performance. There was no room for jitters when your passion was the only thing driving you during the few minutes you spent on stage. 

“I’m so proud of you!” Terry exclaimed, still holding onto you, squeezing you tightly as you laughed in his ear. 

“That was so fun, I wanna do it again.” You sounded like a kid, getting the chance to engage in the “big kid” activities for the very first time in life. 

After what seemed like a few minutes of you two embracing one another, you were placed on the ground again. Other contestants gave you well wishes and good jobs as they passed by, some who had already performed and others preparing for their performances. 

“I found two seats up front.” Terry said, grabbing your hand and leading you into the audience. 

You sat in the crowd listening to the other poets and man were they phenomenal. The passion that exuded as they shared their art, the emotions that filled the room as they spoke into mics. You were slowly beginning to shrink into your seat, already accepting your loss for the night. 

‘At least I faced my fears, that’s a win to me.’ You thought to yourself, preparing to lose so that it wouldn’t hit as hard when it finally became reality. Terry reached down and placed a soft hand on your leg, it had been bouncing for the past five minutes now. Your anxiety was getting to you once again. 

Thoughts of not being good enough, wishing you had worded it differently, paused a bit more for dramatic effect. Or maybe you paused too much and that made it seem artificial. The thoughts were consuming you as each contestant came and went. 

“Now the winners of the 2024 Fall Aggie City Poetry Slam.” 

The third place winner was announced, a young girl in her early twenties. She went up on the stage and accepted her award, smiling from ear to ear. So you didn’t get third place, second and first were still open but they seemed too good to be true. You could settle for second and be 100% okay with it. 

The second place winner was announced, a middle aged man who seemed too cool for a poetry slam. He accepted his award, straight face, a quick thank you and hurried off the stage and back to his seat. You looked down at your hands, accepting your defeat before it came. Terry looked over at you noticing your energy shift but kept quiet. Even though you were accepting your potential loss, he knew it wasn’t over just yet. They still had one more winner to announce and although your faith in yourself was slim to none, he decided to carry the majority of it for you. 

“The winner of our 2024 Aggie City Poetry Slam. The grand prize goes to…

(Readers name)!” 

You sat unmoved, so disassociated from your reality, you hadn’t heard your name be called. It wasn’t until Terry called you by your nickname.  

“Baby girl!” You heard his voice loudly right next to you. 

Your head shot up as you looked over at him, total shock took over your expression. You looked around the room as the audience stood, clapping and smiling while looking at you. 

“Ms. (Readers Name), come and get your trophy girl!” The host announced into the mic. 

You stood so overwhelmed with emotion, you immediately reached over to hug your boyfriend. He had to remind once again to get your prize because he knew you’d hold onto him for as long as you could. You let him go and hurried to the stage, excitement written all over your face. 

You carefully took the trophy and looked down at it to take it all in. You didn’t know if you were supposed to give a speech or say simple thank you so you decided to keep it short and sweet. 

“Thank you all so much, this means the world to me.” You said, a large smile on your face. You walked to the end of the stage already noticing Terry with his hand out, helping you down the stage one step at a time. You held onto his hand once you hit the floor and walked out of the auditorium. Many ‘thank yous’ left your lips as you passed the audience, congratulating and complimenting you on your spoken word. 

“We can go wherever you wanna go baby girl, my treat.” Terry said, taking the trophy out of your hand as he noticed you struggling to hold it. As excited as you were to win your first poetry slam and come in first place at that, you had to admit that trophy that was damn near the same size as you. 

“Let’s go to Dave and Busters! I wanna play, eat, then drink and finally go home!” You smiled, remembering one of your favorite arcades was just down the street from where you were. 

“Let’s go.” Terry placed the trophy carefully in the backseat before jumping into the driver's seat and heading to D&B’s. 

The two of you were like teenagers again. There wasn’t a game you didn’t play together. From basketball, to flappy bird, to the dancing games, he made sure to make this trip to Dave and Busters worth your while. 

After an hour of playing games and taking cute pictures in the photo booth, you guys sat down and enjoyed a nice meal and some drinks. 

You were still off of the high from your win, you went a bit overboard with the drinks. What was usually a limit of two drinks maximum, you were already on your fourth margarita. You were definitely a lightweight so four drinks was really pushing it. 

“That’s the last one for the night baby, I don’t want you getting too wasted.” He grabbed the glass and brought it to his side of the table. Terry didn’t want to cut you off from drinking because you were enjoying yourself and you deserved to have as many drinks as you choose, you were a poetry queen. But as the drinks went down, so did your eyes. 

Your gaze slowly changed from playful and excited to lustful and seductive. The way your eyes refused to leave his sent him a message your lips wouldn’t quite be able to due to your condition. But there was no need to worry because he got the message loud and clear. 

“Mmhmmm, fuck this pussy daddy.” You were completely under a liquor spell that had you talking reckless to your man. Unlike you, he only had two drinks because he was the driver for the night. Also because he knew how you were when you were a bit ‘lit’. Who knew the same lips that uttered beautiful pantoums, turning emotions into art would utter such filthy demands all within the same 24 hours. 

“You feel that dick baby girl?” His body weight damn near had you sinking into the bed. Flat on your stomach, your eyes were barely open as he dug into you from behind, rolling his hips hitting every inch of your walls. 

“I feel it daddy, it’s so big!” You cried. You tried your hardest to hold your head up so you could feel his lips against your neck while he talked you through it. Even after the years y’all had been together, adjusting to his size was still a process for you. 

“Don’t run from this dick, take this shit.” You wanted to do just that but it was becoming harder and harder by the second. His arms were wrapped under yours, holding you in place, ensuring that you felt all of him as deep as he wanted you to feel it. He wanted the tip of his dick to kiss your cervix, triggering all of your creaminess to paint it, because you deserved it. 

You could feel yourself digging deeper into his rhythm, unable to hold it in any longer. “Yes yes yes!” Your eyes rolled into your head as he continued digging deeper and deeper as you released onto him. 

“That’s it baby, let daddy have it.” He said, sending more juices flowing out of you, never interrupting his rhythm. “Just like that.” He kissed you as he continued stroking in and out of you. He wasn’t letting up until your body collapsed in his arms and even then he still had enough energy to get another one out of you. 

Sitting up on his knees, he pulled out and grabbed your hips, flipping you onto your back. He yanked you closer to him causing a small yelp to leave your lips. He placed your feet onto his shoulders and pushed right back into you so easily before leaning forward to come as close to your face as possible. 

He hadn’t even started stroking yet and you were already crying out again from the feeling of his thick dick filling you up completely from this position. He stared down at you admiring your love faces, the way your eyebrows bent as he slowly pulled out of you only leaving the tip and pushing back into you until his balls pressed up against your ass. 

His strokes were slow and deep, rubbing up against your g-spot each time he entered you. You tried to look him in his eyes but they were piercing through you, he was a bit intimidating in this moment. No matter if you tried to move or move him, it would be a complete fail. He had you exactly how you wanted you and there was nothing you could do about it. 

The sounds of your wetness making a mess on his dick filled the room. You could feel your pussy growing wetter by the second. “You gone cum again for me baby girl?” His eyes were glued to you as you struggled to find the words to answer him. His long, deep strokes had your body reacting so wildly, your lips couldn’t utter any words in the moment.

“Talk to me baby.” 

“I c-can’t.” You finally answered, tossing your head left and right as he continued stroking into you, gradually speeding up the pace. He placed his hand next to your head as his body weight pushed your legs closer to your ears, allowing him to go even deeper than he was before. 

“You not gone talk to me?” He was taunting you. He knew exactly what he was doing. There was no way you would be able to find the words if he was gonna keep fucking you like this. He sped up the pace a little more, digging in and out of you like he had something to prove. Like you didn’t already know what he was capable of. His strokes weren’t too fast but the way he was hitting your spot and then some over and over again caused you to take in a deep breath without letting it out. Your mouth fell open as your eyes began to cross, this pleasure was way too much to be trying to focus on words. “Breathe baby.” 

You gathered as much strength as you could as your eyes opened and landed on him as he inched closer to your face. Mouth slightly parted, his lips brushed against yours. “Breathe with me.” He placed a soft kiss on your bottom lip. He was still so patient with you even as he ruined you. “In and out, together.” 

You did just as he said. The two of you inhaled together and exhaled together, gradually falling into the same rhythm. This nigga and his breathing techniques. He’d build you up just to have you fall apart then repeat. 

You continued breathing with him, this instant unison sent a strong feeling to your gut. He was stimulating too many parts of your body all at once. Your eyes widened a bit as you felt your orgasm coming full force. “Keep breathing baby.” He kissed your lips once again, then your cheek and landed on your neck all while maintaining his stroke. “Good job baby, in and out.” His voice directly in your ear was the icing on the cake. 

You stared up at the ceiling as all of your inner focus was centered right at your center. Your breathing became louder as he did his. “Ughh!” Was all you could manage as your legs began to shake, your walls pulsated around him causing him to curse into your ear. 

“Oh my god yes!” You screamed loudly, completely unconcerned about your neighbors and anyone else surrounding the outside of your apartment. “Fuck, I’m right there baby, just keep breathing.” He pumped into you as he grunted, releasing everything he had directly into you. Even after your orgasm, he was still stroking, totally emptying himself into you. You may as well have been his personal cumbucket. You let out another loud moan, as a tear formed in the corner of your eye. 

After a few more pumps he stilled his movements. His head buried into your neck as you felt his warm breath against your skin. Both of you breathing heavily as you felt the effects of your powerful orgasms. You stared up at the ceiling, fighting to keep your eyes open as you wanted so badly to fall into a deep sleep. 

Finally coming back to himself, Terry placed kisses along your jaw and on your cheek. He stared down at you as he reached up to wipe the tear that had fallen from your face. “I’m proud of you baby girl.” He said, placing one last kiss on your lips. 

“Thank you.” You barely whispered, throat dry from all of the breathing you were doing. 

“I love you.” He said, still placing kisses on your lips. 

“I love you too.” 

[jeankluv]

Sweet boy - Gojo Satoru

words: 4k

paring: Gojo x milf!reader

summary: You refused to spend your 33rd birthday alone after having been divorced for 4 months and who would have told you that going to a bar to spend your 33rd birthday would make you meet an attractive 25-year-old young man?

tags: p in the v, older woman x younger man, sub Gojo, sugar baby Gojo, sugar mommy reader, smut, oral sex (f), ridding, age difference

Jujutsu Kaisen materialist

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You looked at yourself in the mirror and sighed, it was your 33rd birthday and you were spending it alone. It hadn't been more than four months since you had caught your now ex-husband in bed with his secretary. It sounded too cliché, but that's how it was.

But the truth is that you didn't feel like celebrating anything, your family hadn't let it bother you after announcing that you were getting a divorce, according to them you were losing value and giving a bad image to the family. Disgusting, was what you thought when your father said that.

Since that day you had not visited him again and you had no intention of doing so either. You were independent, you owned your own business where you earned well and you had achieved everything on your own, without help from your parents.

But it felt lonely, being there, turning 33 without anyone to celebrate with. You shook your head and grabbed the red lipstick and painted your lips, you would go out and drink, even if it was alone.

You walked out of your apartment and with your head held high you walked out of your apartment, feeling the big city night crash against you.

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Gojo Satoru stretched out in his chair, feeling the alcohol coursing through his veins. He was with his college friends at a local bar, it was their third round but Satoru was still on his first beer, he really hated drinking but this was a special occasion, they were finally graduating from their master's degree.

“C’mon Gojo!” One of his classmates held him. “Let’s drink another beer.”

Satoru shook his head. “I’m good.” He tried to get the weight of his classmate from him. “I’m gonna get some fresh air.”

He heard his classmate complain, but he completely ignored him and continued walking without paying attention.

His blue gaze fell upon a figure at the bar drinking. Her hair fell over her bare back and in her hand was a glass of what looked like red wine. Satoru felt an electric shock go through his body and the saliva in his mouth dry.

His feet stopped moving and at that moment he wanted to get closer. Taking a breath and clenching his fists, he approached the figure.

“Hey…” He said, his voice coming a bit weak from his vocal cords.

You groaned and put the wine glass down on the table. “What?” You looked at him and first saw his blue eyes and then, his dimples.

He was cute, really pretty actually. He looked younger, probably in his twenties. Oh he would probably leave as soon as he saw that you were older than him, he probably thought you were a girl in her twenties and wanted to flirt with you but who would want to flirt with you now? At least that's what your ex told you, that you weren't attractive anymore.

“Saw you here alone drinking… and I approached you.” He spoke, now he seemed a bit less nervous. “Is this seat free?” He pointed to the seat next to you.

“Do whatever you want.” You said.

He sat next to you and asked for a drink. “So tell me, what are you doing here alone?”

“Ugh…” You said while swallowing the wine. “With how many women have you talked to? What was that phrase?”

The boy looked at you shocked and you noticed his Adam’s apple moving up and down. “I… well I have…” He protested. Cute.

You chuckled and moved your head. “You are so cute, you know? How old are you?” You rested your head on your hand, as you looked at him.

“25… will be 26 on December.” He smiled.

He was younger than you. “Cute…” You whispered. “I’m here celebrating my lonely birthday. An old woman like me is celebrating her birthday all alone.”

“Happy birthday!” He said with a smile. “And old?” He tilted his head.

“I’m 33.” You slightly smiled, waiting for the moment he would say that he was leaving.

“Oh…” He only whispered.

“It’s okay if you leave. I know I’m not…”

“I’m not leaving, I want to drink with you.” He said confidently, his eyes shining. You looked at him with surprise.

“Do whatever you want…” You paused yourself, realizing you didn’t his name.

“Satoru!” He said. “My name is Satoru.”

You told him your name. “Is nice to meet you Satoru.”

He said your name and you felt how something lit up in you. “And why would you be celebrating your birthday all alone.”

You smirked. “Life is awful, my ex cheated and no one sided with me during our divorce.” You drank again. “So here I am with my glass of wine and now a cute boy.” You looked at him, what was happening to you? You were flirting with that boy?

“I hope this is a nice company then.” He smiled. “And by the way your ex is an asshole, cheating on a beautiful woman like you. Such a loser.”

You bite your lip. Oh so he was interested in you? For real? That handsome boy was interested in you. And you? You were honestly interested in him too.

You smiled subtly and shook your head. “Maybe it’s the alcohol but why do I feel like you’re flirting with me?”

You could feel his shoulders tense and then a smile appeared. “Because I am.”

Your eyes widened slightly. “Why would you do that? With a woman like me when you have such young girls?” You whispered, showing a bit of vulnerability.

He came closer, Satoru found courage where he didn’t have any and brushed your lips with his thumb. “Because you’re the only one I’m interested in in this whole bar.”

A small gasp escaped from your lips and you looked away, embarrassed. “You drank too much, Satoru.” You said his name for the first time.

And that made Satoru not want to walk away, he wanted to hear you say his name like that again. Oh god, he wanted more of you. He was so enraptured by your beauty, your way of speaking, your movements, your lips moving.

“I didn’t…” He whispered. “And if I did you know what they say about drunk people right? They always tell the truth.” He said the last part in your ear.

“Gojo!!” A male voice sounded almost above the music of the bar. “We are waiting for you! We will be starting the drinking game.” A boy started shaking Satoru’s shoulders.

You saw how Satoru looked a bit annoyed, as if he didn’t like the idea of going back with his classmates. The eyes of Satoru’s eyes fell on you and then back on Satoru’s figure, who was still quiet.

“Oh!” He looked at you again. “Oh Gojo, sorry you were enjoying the night with this pretty lady?” The boy screamed.

“Yeah, now get out of here. You are annoying.” Satoru said.

“Why don’t you come with us and also play with us at the drinking game?” The boy ignored Satoru and spoke to you.

You looked at Satoru and smiled, it could be fun. “Yeah, why not?”

Satoru opened his eyes. “You don’t have to…”

“I want to…” You smirked. “C’mon sweet boy.” You whispered that part, and gently touched his arm.

Satoru felt his breath hitch and probably looked like a complete idiot as he watched you move your hips following his classmate to the table. He saw you sitting on the table with the rest of his classmates and how you made a sign for him to approach you.

Satoru blinked and wiped his damp hands on his pants before walking over to the table, sitting next to you. You smiled at him and Satoru felt like he melted around your fingertips.

He could hear his classmates laughing and speaking but his eyes were on you and just you, he couldn’t stop looking at you.

“Right Gojo?” He heard his name being called.

“Huh?” He turned and finally looked at his classmates.

“We are explaining to your lovely friend how the game goes.”

“Oh yeah…” He looked at you. “You don’t have to play.” He whispered to you.

“I want to…” You smiled, cockily and watched how he became shy.

“Yeah, right.” He swallowed.

The game started but Satoru's head was somewhere else, not in the game, his eyes were simply focused on you. The sound of his classmates' laughter filled the place and you would occasionally glance at him subtly.

You couldn't have imagined being there on your birthday night with a group of recent graduates while you played a drinking game and felt the gaze of that boy who had caught your attention so much.

“Okay! Now it’s Gojo’s turn!” One of the guys shouted pouring liquor on Gojo’s small glass.

You watched as Satoru blinked and he looked at the glass. An idea crossed your mind and you smiled. You stood up from your seat and took Satoru's glass, while your eyes were fixed on him.

“Are you going to be a good boy for me Satoru?” You whispered to him, touching his face.

Satoru gulped as he looked at you, you were driving him crazy. The world seemed to disappear, leaving just the two of you. Your soft hands touched his face and made him look up as you brought the glass to his lips.

Satoru's heart rate increased when his lips touched the glass. Your eyes continued to penetrate his, not blinking for a second. The alcohol passed down his throat, burning him. And he didn't know if it was because of the alcohol or your seductive gaze, that he felt his body begin to heat up.

You bite your lip as you saw as his cheeks were completely red and looking like a puppy at you. Once he drank the liquor you gently patted his face with a wide smile and sat back down to notice all of Satoru's classmates were staring at you with their mouths open.

“What?” You smiled cockily at his classmates.

“Oh please do that to me too!” One of the boys screamed.

“No! To me please.” Another one said.

You chuckled and shook your head. “I’m sorry guys but I will do that only to Satoru.” You rested your head on your hand.

Satoru's classmates made a whimper and you turned your eyes to Satoru who was still in a trance-like state. You wanted to laugh but you contain yourself from doing it. The game continued, as Satoru continued to ramble on in his not-so-pure thoughts about you. You continued to smile and stare at him, and poor Satoru's heart continued to race like a 16-year-old's.

“Well…” You stood up. “I think it is time for me to leave.” You looked at the boys and finally at Gojo and winked your eye, hoping he would get your signal.

“I will accompany you.” Satoru stood from the table as fast as the light.

You smiled and started walking with Satoru following you like your own shadow. The cold night hit your cheeks and you turned around to look at Satoru.

“So what pretty boy, is this a goodbye?”

Satoru swallowed and moved his hands. “Only… only if you want.”

You bite your lip. “You know…” You approached him and you placed your hands on his chest, feeling his heart beat beneath your palm. “I didn’t get any birthday present today…”

You saw Satoru gulp and get nervous. “Oh… that’s a shame…” He said with a sigh. “Is… is there anything I could do?” He said with a half smile.

“Yes…” You narrowed your eyes and your breaths began to mix before kissing his lips.

Your hands moved from his chest to his hair and you gently tugged on it as the kiss intensified. You separated from him trying to catch your breath.

“Let’s go to my apartment.” You held his hand and started walking searching for a taxi to take you both to your apartment.

As soon as you entered your apartment, the anticipation that had been boiling through your veins burst forth. You couldn't resist any longer and immediately pounced on Satoru, your need for him overtaking everything else. Your lips met his in a fervent kiss, tasting the sweetness of his candy-flavored lips.

The urgency of your movements seemed to take Satoru by surprise, his breathing ragged as your mouths moved against each other. His hands, shaking slightly with nervousness, found their way to your hips. Despite the passion between you, his touch was gentle, almost reverent, as if he feared you might break in his arms. Slowly, as if he savored every second of closeness, he pulled you closer, closing the space between your bodies until you could feel the heat of him penetrating your skin, as if he were leaving marks on your skin.

As your bodies pressed closer together, the heat between you became almost unbearable, the temperature of your room beginning to rise abruptly. Your fingers tangled in his white hair, drawing him deeper into the kiss as you demanded more from him. Satoru responded with a soft, submissive moan that made you shiver, his lips surrendering completely to your touch and your warmth.

His hands wandered from your hips to your sides, moving tentatively, almost as if asking for permission with every inch he traveled across your skin. He traced the curve of your waist with a feather-light touch, his fingers trembling slightly as he explored your body, his breathing growing shakier with each passing moment. His chest rose and fell against yours, the steady beat of his heart resonating in your own chest, but his submission made it all the more intoxicating.

You could feel Satoru’s restraint jerk and tremble beneath your lips. He was giving himself over to you completely. When he finally broke the kiss to catch his breath, his eyes met yours, filled with a vulnerable longing that made your heart race.

You could see the hunger reflected in Satoru’s gaze, tempered with a deep, trusting submission that only made you want him more. Wordlessly, you pulled him back to you, needing to feel him, to taste him, to take control of every part of him.

His hands moved more confidently now, but still with that same underlying hesitation, sliding down your back and then back down again, like he couldn’t get enough of the feeling of you beneath his fingers, but unsure if he could take more. Your own hands roamed over his body, tracing the hard lines of his muscles, feeling the way his body responded to your touch.

You could feel his heartbeat, fast and steady, pulsing beneath your fingertips as you ran them over the hard plains of his chest. His skin was warm, a stark contrast to the coolness of the night air that wafted just outside the window. As you moved closer, pressing your body fully against his, Satoru responded with a low, breathy moan that sent a shiver down your spine.

When his lips left yours, leaving a trail of soft, lingering kisses along your jaw and down your neck, you couldn’t suppress the soft moan that escaped your lips. The sound seemed to spur Satoru on, his kisses becoming more insistent, more demanding as he explored the curve of your neck.

Your hands found their way beneath his shirt, tracing the contours of his back, the muscles tensing beneath your touch as you pulled him even closer.

With a breathless whisper Satoru broke the silence of the room. “What do you want me to do ma’am?”

That nickname made your insides burn with desire, his hot and eager gaze only increased that desire. Your heart was completely racing, you wanted that boy to devour you, even if it was just for that night. You wanted it.

A sigh escaped your lips and you swallowed hard. “Get on your knees.” You told him with a smile.

Satoru obeyed without blinking an eye, without question, as he got on his knees in front of you. You smiled widely and sat down on the couch behind you. The short dress you were wearing was pushed up slightly to your thighs.

Satoru positioned himself between your legs, you could see his gaze filled with a mix of intensity mixed with tenderness. Satoru took a moment to admire you, his breath warm and uneven hitting your skin. Satoru placed soft kisses on your inner thigh, the kisses were slow and gentle as if Satoru wanted to take his time with you.

A moan escaped your lips as his fingers moved over your thong and his tongue traced a path from your entrance to the sensitive folds above. His gaze was fixed on you, looking at you with desire and hunger. You threw your head back as he began to suck, feeling it send shockwaves through your body.

His hands rested lightly on your hips, holding you in place as he continued his exploration. He seemed completely absorbed in pleasuring you, focused on knowing what made you moan in pleasure.

“Oh Satoru!” You moaned, tangling your fingers in his white hair, feeling your body getting closer to climax.

Each wave of pleasure that built up inside you was met with a new. As you reached the peak of pleasure, the sounds of your moans and gasps filled the room, and Satoru responded with ever-increasing fervor, concentrating solely on bringing you to the climax you were eagerly approaching. When you finally reached your peak, the sensation was all-encompassing, leaving you breathless and trembling.

Your chest rose and fell as you looked at Satoru, who was licking his lips while his blue eyes remained fixed on you. Satoru was trying to control himself, he felt agitated and the bulge in his pants was becoming unbearable. But, oh fuck, he would never have imagined himself in that situation and he loved it.

The temperature in the room rose considerably and at that moment the only sounds you could hear were your breathing, especially yours, which was still trying to find normality.

You were sticky, sweaty but you didn't want to finish yet. You gulped and gently touched Satoru's face. His gaze relaxed, reflecting tenderness and softness. You smiled before kissing him and lowering your hand to his crotch, causing a whimper to escape Satoru's lips. Smiling against his lips you continue moving your hand over his pants, feeling how hard he was.

“Get undress.” You said breaking the kiss and standing up from the sofa.

Satoru swallowed, following your movements. “Yes ma’am.”

There was that nickname again and the heat it provoked in you. Satoru began to undress and you could notice that toned torso that you had been able to touch lightly minutes ago.

You turned your face away and took off your dress, letting it fall to the floor. Turning back around, you saw that Satoru was now completely naked before you and your heart gave a little jump at the sight of him there, knowing that he would be completely yours.

“Sit on the couch and put this.” You said, throwing him a condom you were keeping on your purse.

Satoru shivered, he was loving this, being under your command, being yours. Nodding he sat down on the couch and you walked over to him, a smile forming on your face.

Satoru was completely hard, he knew that if you touched him he could cum. You gently sat on his thighs and touched his face again and gently moved closer to him.

“Are you going to be a good boy for me, Satoru?” You murmured against his lips.

Satoru felt like he was melting, like he was passing out. “Yes…”

“Yes what?” You smiled.

“Yes ma’am.” He said and you nodded before kissing him.

You gently grabbed his member, causing Satoru to moan and squeeze his eyes shut. “Open your eyes my sweet boy. I want you to watch me ride you.”

Satoru opened his eyes, which were glazed over and he swallowed as he watched you gently insert his member inside you.

You moaned as his cock was finally inside you, it was definitely bigger than your ex's and it filled you completely. Satoru moved his hand and grabbed your hip, you could feel his desperation crashing against your skin as he sought to get you to start moving.

You grabbed his hand and pulled it off your hip. “No hands sweet boy.”

Satoru pouted as he looked at you. “Please…” He moaned as you shifted slightly.

You chuckled and started to move your hips, causing both of you to moan at the pleasure you were feeling. Satoru fought the urge to touch you, to trace your curves, but he wanted to be a good boy to you and follow your desires.

Sweat began to run down your faces as you moved up and down his member, feeling every fiber of your skin tingle with each penetration. It had been too long since you had felt such pleasure, your ex had rarely or never made you feel the way that the 25-year-old was making you feel.

“Oh Satoru…” You said throwing your head backwards and closing your eyes.

“Please ma’am…” Satoru cried out.

“What sweet boy?” You looked at him without stopping.

“Let me… let me touch you more.” He murmured, with his voice trembling as he let the words out.

“Where?” You smirked.

“Everywhere.” He said with shiny eyes.

Your back bent and you brought your face closer to his, your breaths mingling and you gently bit his bottom lip. “You’ve been a good boy, haven’t you?” He nodded, his breath coming in ragged gasps. “Go ahead…”

Satoru gathered his courage and captured your lips in a passionate kiss and his hands rested on your hips, squeezing them and beginning to move them up and down, exploring your upper body.

You broke the kiss and threw your head backwards as Satoru started to devour your nipples. You moved your hands up to his hair and tangled your fingers in his hair and started pulling on them.

Satoru left your nipples and began to leave a trail of wet kisses on your neck and collarbone, while you continued to move on his member.

You don't know how much longer you kept moving, but you do know that when your second orgasm hit that night on your birthday, a moan escaped your throat and you hugged Satoru tightly, who kept moving inside you until he growled and reached his orgasm.

Satoru grabbed your body tightly and breathed heavily on your ear, trying to catch his breath after the orgasm he had had. You gently pulled away and got off of Satoru, grimacing at the mess you had made on the couch.

“I will have to call someone to clean that…” You murmured for yourself. “You want something to drink?” You looked at Satoru.

“I… yeah…” He stood up and took his clothes.

You looked at him. “What are you doing?”

“Oh… I will leave after drinking something.”

“Why?” You asked.

He looked at you. “I… well…” Satoru felt a bit embarrassed.

“Stay… we can have more fun.” You tilted your head.

Satoru nodded and oh boy, you did have so much fun. You had a few more rounds, in bed, in the shower, etc., you were really thankful you had gone out on your birthday night.

The next morning you woke up with Satoru's arms on your hips and you smiled. You gently moved Satoru until his blue eyes met yours. You had been thinking about something all night.

“Good morning…” You whispered with a smile.

“Good morning.” He said back with a smile revealing his dimples.

“Do you have a passport?” You asked him.

“I… yeah.”

“Good, then come with me to Italy.”

Satoru almost choked with his own saliva and opened his eyes. “To Italy? I don’t have money to…”

“Don’t worry.” You cut him off. “I will pay for everything.” You got closer to him. “So what sweet boy, you coming with me?”

Satoru scanned your face and swallowed. “Yeah… yeah ma’am.”

And there it was the nickname again, you could lose your whole mind for that boy. “Good.” You smiled before capturing his lips again.

[harmonictechnicality]

Eddie’s Memory Log Day 1:

part 2 here | part 3 here | part 4 here | part 5 here | part 6 here

(ao3 link here)

The only reason Steve volunteers to keep a journal to track Eddie Munson’s skim-milk memories, is because of the twerps.

They have school, they can’t commute to the government-protected hospital that’s all the way in the city. That, and they gave Steve this well-rehearsed, tearjerker performance about how grateful they would be.

About how grateful Eddie would be.

Pfft like shit on a stick, he’ll be grateful. The dude doesn’t even remember how old he is, how the hell is supposed to be grateful for Steve Harrington jotting down notes in binder?

But those kids have been through Spielberg-level disaster shit. Steve has too, but they’re just kids.

So he’ll do it. He’ll do it for them and only them.

Eddie knows his name today.

He’s pissy - he’s always pissy cause Eddie is battered up beyond belief. But still, he’s extra pissy today because Dustin is his favorite visitor and he hasn’t stopped by in almost a week.

Eddie knows Dustin’s name today too.

And guess who’s his least favorite visitor?

“Harrington.” Eddie grumbles, mouth full of lime jello. “Who paid you to be here today?”

Remembers Steve’s name… last name.

“No one.” Steve makes himself comfy in the vinyl armchair. “Call me crazy, but I’m not too big on taking lunch money from sophomores.”

Speaking of which…

“Do you know you know how old you are?”

Eddie crumples the plastic jello container. “You’re a patronizing sack of shit.”

Steve rolls his eyes, starts to write down:

Eddie doesn’t know his age.

“Twenty.”

Eddie does know his age (20).

“Swell.” Steve fakes his amusement. The kids are much better at cheerleading Eddie along in this process. But Steve’s poker face is nonexistent. Sarcasm and assholery occupy every seat in his brain these days.

They go through a few more questions before Eddie begins to get tired. He’s tired a lot, even though the coma knocked him out for almost four months.

Guess holding hands with Death really takes it out of a person.

Eddie doesn’t know his birthday.

But Eddie does remember it’s in the winter (has a memory of seeing leafless trees from an early childhood birthday party).

Eddie remembers his uncle’s name.

Eddie doesn’t remember which street he lives on.

Eddie has a headache (that’s not a memory thing - he’s just told Steve a thousand times now).

“I’ll let you rest.” Steve folds the binder shut, sort of desperate to do anything to get Eddie to stop whining. Seriously, he thought this guy was funnier pre-bat attack.

Eddie doesn’t remember he has a sense of humor.

“You don’t have to stay, you know.” Eddie settles into his pillows.

Steve shrugs, puts his hands behind his head. “I took the bus from Hawkins today. The next one doesn’t leave for another few hours.”

“Still… it’s a city, right? You can go explore or whatever. Be a tourist.”

Yeah Eddie’s persuasive skills aren’t completely back either, it’s all very half-assed.

“Been here before.” Steve lounges deeper into the squeaky chair material. “I’m good.”

“Probably haven’t seen everything is all I’m saying -”

“Do you want me to leave that bad?”

Steve doesn’t shout, but his tone takes up space. Makes the room feel crowded with accusations and cutthroat honesty.

Eddie stares back hard. Sometimes, he doesn’t look like Eddie Munson - he looks like this war victim with knotted-up hair and sulky brown eyes.

Like a John Doe cadaver - tagging his foot with the possibility of Eddie Munson.

Anyways, that’s how he looks right now as he stares at Steve. Barely Eddie.

“Just. I don’t know you.” That’s a shitty ass comeback for someone with a memory-tank that’s perpetually blinking with the low-engine light on. 

Eddie continues with his weak argument. “Were we close enough back home that you’d stay here while I sleep?”

Eddie doesn’t remember Steve ignoring him in high school for four years.

Steve finds no reason to lie. “No. We weren’t close at all.”

“Right.” Eddie nods once. “So why do this? What are you getting out of this?”

This is a complicated situation to explain to anyone, let alone to someone with fuzzy comprehension abilities. But Steve gives it a whirl:

“Look, we have mutual friends that are… younger. Dustin’s age. And whether I like it or not, they’re like siblings to me now - I’d do anything for them. But they’re in school, they can’t be here every day like I can.”

“Why can you be here?” Eddie asks.

“I lost my job.”

Eddie attempts sympathy. “Sorry.”

Eh, Steve gives him a B-minus.

“Didn’t like it anyways.” Steve reassure him plainly. “The point, I’m doing this for them. For you too, but they’re the anchors in this.”

Eddie thinks for a moment - readjusts to laying on his side, facing Steve. “Won’t you need a new job eventually?”

“Nah. Trust Fund Baby.” Steve points both thumbs at his chest.

“Yeesh.” Eddie rolls to the other side, away from Steve. Disgusted by his comment, yet still chuckling very quietly.

Okay… Eddie does remember he has a sense of humor (just a teensy bit).

His breathing becomes long and hard - sleep heavy breathing. It doesn’t take long, sleep seems more natural to Eddie right now than being awake.

Steve watches him for a moment. There’s always the ghostly-distant fear that Eddie might stop breathing. He’s done it before - four months ago and once more while he was still at the hospital in Hawkins.

Max is still asleep. Steve hates thinking about that detail because it’s cruel. This twisted game that the universe is playing is truly unjust. 

Like an Almighty Asshole rolled Eddie’s stupid dice and decided, ‘I’ll let one of your friends wake up, but he won’t remember that he battled along side you in the trenches of darkness. Take it or leave it, douchebag.’

Steve will take it.

Eddie is still sleeping when Steve decides to head out - the bus will be arriving soon and he’s gotta get a window seat. Needs control over the window cause he gets carsick way too fucking easily these days.

“Heading out?” Eddie mumbles, eyes not even open.

“Yeah - sorry.” Steve doesn’t know why he whispered that. “Didn’t think I should wake you.”

“I gotcha. I’m assuming you’ll be back tomorrow?”

Huh… Steve thinks there might be a hint of implication that Eddie wants him to come back tomorrow. Interesting.

“Your memory isn’t as shitty as you think it is.” He’s overly smug when he says it. 

Eddie gives him a closed-lip smile. Only Dustin and Wayne receive those.

“Want me to pick up some food on my way in?”  Steve decides to give generosity a try, since Eddie is tolerable enough to give him a smile. “Get you off of this lousy hospital meal-plan temporarily?”

The smile is gone. “Nah, you don’t have to do that.”

Right.

Eddie definitely remembers how to be Stubborn with a capital ‘S’

But Steve is a Trust Fund Baby, so he’s unfazed with difficult behaviors. He can match difficulties all damn day if he wanted to.

Which he does.

“Suit yourself, Munson.” Steve acts so uncaring. Very uppity and douchey. “I’m thinking Chinese takeout for me personally.”

“Cool.”

“Cool. See you tomorrow then.”

There’s a pause, so Steve takes that as his sign to turn the handle, get the hell out of here.

“Steve?” Eddie calls weakly just before he shuts the door behind him.

He cracks it open, peeks his face back in. “Yeah?”

Eddie sighs. “Kung Pao Chicken.”

“Excellent choice.”

Eddie gives him another closed-lip smile.

Steve grins wildly, with all of his teeth. “In fact, I think I’ll do the same.”

And as Steve claims his middle seat on the bus, he pulls the binder back out of his backpack to add one more note for the day:

Eddie remembers that he likes Kung Pao Chicken.

[thinkwosolife23]

I'm here now, Leah Williamson

Your whole life was revolved around the world of football. Whilst you weren't a footballer yourself, your brother and wife were. You couldn't escape it. If you weren't his sister, you were her wife.

Before you got married to your wife; you were a Grealish, meaning that your brother was Jack. You and Jack were really close with each other, despite living 4 hours apart. Being so close with Jack meant that you were also really close with his girlfriend. Sasha had been in your life since you were about 12. As well as being one of your closest friends, she was like an older sister to you.

Jack was actually the one to introduce you and your wife to each other. Your wife being none other than the Lionesses Captain, Leah Williamson. Leah and you had met when you were just 18.

6 years on: you had got married just over a year ago, you had a little boy together. Jayden, who was nearly 4, you also were currently 7 months pregnant with a little girl.

Before you got married, your's and Leah's relationship was next to perfect. Despite the both of you being quite fiery characters: nothing more than little disagreements happened, you rarely said a cross word to each other.

However, since the wedding, it was a completely different story. Arguements happening way too often, that was something you never wanted your son to see or hear.

Growing up, you had seen Jack go through both the best parts and the difficulties of football. So, you understood the struggle and the benefits within Leah's Job. You had seen how much it had affected her when she tore her ACL, causing her to miss out on a World Cup.

As her wife, you wanted nothing more than to be there for her, support and comfort her.

But that didn't happen.

Ever since her injury, she became more withdrawn from your shared home. Part of you thought that she might cherish the time she had off, using it to spend time with you and Jayden. But no: if she wasn't giving a talk across the world, she was doing a book signing or an interview, or she was going out at night partying with Alex.

And tonight was just another one of them nights.

You were sat on the sofa with Jayden, listening to him babble away abou the TV show he was watching, when Leah came down the stairs: all dressed up and ready to go.

"Alex is waiting outside, i'm gonna go." Leah said as she made her way through to your shared kitchen.

You made sure that Jayden was alright on the sofa before getting up as quickly as you could. A pain shot through your stomach as you stood up; causing you to clutch onto your bump.

"Your going out again?" You asked Leah as you cautiously made your way through to the kitchen.

"Yeah, me and Alex have an event. I could've sworn that I told you." She replied, not even looking in your direction.

"God Leah, I can barely keep up with all your events. Your out all the time."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Her voice raising, her eyes finally meeting yours.

"You have a family, Leah. We barely see you anymore."

"Jayden misses you, I miss you." You continued, your voice softening at the admission.

"I can't do this now, Y/N."

"You never can do this." Another pain shot through your stomach, causing you to groan out in pain before grabbing ahold of the kitchen side.

"Seriously! That's the card you pull out not. Your pathetic!" Leah's voice loud and harsh, each word cutting straight through you.

"Just leave, Leah! You'll be lucky if you have a wife and a son to come home to."

And with that, Leah stormed out of the front door. Slamming the door as she did.

By now you were fully crying. You sat down on one of your dining room chairs, resting your head in your hands.

You weren't sat there for long before you had little footsteps running towards you. Little hands trying to pull your hands from your face.

"Mama okay?" Jayden's quiet voice asked you.

"I'm okay baby." You soon re-assured him, pulling him up to sit on your lap.

"Mummy shout at you."

"Me and Mummy just had a little fallout, that's all."

"Mummy shout at me." His voice soft, appearing a little fearful.

"No! Definatly not. Mummy loves you so much, she would never shout at you, Jay."

As soon as you finished your sentence, another pain shot through your stomach causing your stomach to become rock hard. Jayden's face screwed up in confusion as you groaned out in pain.

"Mama, the floor got a puddle." He told you quietly, looking at the groand.

Fuck! This can't be happening. Not now. It's too early, surely?

"Jay, can you go get Mama's phone, its on the sofa." You said, as you placed him down on the ground.

His little legs running off towards the livingroom in a hurry. If you weren't in so much pain, then you would've laughed at the endearing sight.

He came running back to you, with your phone in hand. He gently gave you your phone before sitting on the chair next to you, watching you intently.

You quickly unlocked your phone and rang Leah's number. The call soon ran out with no answer from her.

"C'mon Leah, please just answer." You muttered quietly, before trying her number again.

No answer.

The pain you were in was becoming increasingly intense by the minute.

You quickly gave up on Leah answering the phone. So, you rang the only other person you would want in a situation like this. The only other person that could keep you calm like Leah could.

Jack and Sasha were in London, luckily for you, due to the fact that earlier in the day Man City played Arsenal at the Emirates.

"Jack?" You asked hopefully, but you could still hear the panic in your voice.

"Sis, woah! What's wrong?"

"Jack, I think i'm in labour."

"What? You can't be, it's way too early." He somehow stayed calm, despite your paniced voice. But he himself, couldn't tell you that he wasn't worried about you and his future neice.

"I'm telling you this baby is coming."

You knew that it was way too early for you to be having your little girl. Your whole body way becoming worked up, all you were doing was dreading the possibillities. Your mind jumping to the worst.

"Y/n, where's Jayden. And where's Leah!" You knew he would be angry at Leah for leaving you, especially in the state you were in.

"Jay's at home, with me. And Leah, well she's gone out with Alex. We had an arguement and she's not answering my calls."

The pain that you were now in was bringing tears to your eyes, adding more distress to your voice.

"Right, okay. Just keep calm for me, Y/N. Me and Jack have just left. We're on the way, we'll only be 10 minutes, Okay." It was now Sasha's voice at the other end of the phone.

"Sasha, it hurts so much."

"I know it does, babe. But your so strong and brave. It's all going to be alright. Your both going to be okay."

10 minutes later…

Your head shot up at the sound of the door being unlocked. Some part of you wished that it was Leah would be the one walking through the door. But you still felt so much relief when Jack and Sasha came in the door.

"Uncle Jack!" Jayden quickly jumped down off the chair, running towards Jack.

"Hi, little man." Jack soon picked him up, placing a kiss on his forehead before resting him on his hip.

"Oh Babe. C'mon, let's get you to the hospital." Sasha wrapped her arms around you, only letting go to try and find your hospital bag.

After finding your hospital bag, Sasha took Jayden from Jack so that he could help you. Jack soon came towards you, trying to help you up and get you too the car.

"Jack, i'm so scared." You told him truthfully as the tears came flooding from your face.

Your hands clutched onto his t-shire, using it to keep you on your feet.

"I know you are. But everything will be okay. You've got me and Sasha and little man over there." He re-eassured you before slowly helping to the car.

Jack got you in the backseat of the car as there was more space. Sasha sat next to you in the back, you quickly using her shoulder to rest your head on as she ran her fingers through your hair - trying to calm you down.

You didn't even notice that Jack had grabbed Jayden's carseat from your car. He placed it in the passenger seat before placing Jayden in it, making sure he was all strapped in.

It didn't take you long to get to the hospital. Jack was driving quite quickly but also making sure that he was careful to cause you any more pain.

Despite your contractions becoming stronger on the way, you tried to ring Leah again. No answer again. However, you tried to ring Alex. To your suprise, she answered.

"Y/N?" You could barely hear Alex, due to all the background noise. Also, the pain made it hard for you to concentrate.

Sasha saw this and quickly took your phone out of your hands before placing it on loud speaker so you could hear her.

"Alex, it's Sasha. Is Leah with you?" Sasha asked her.

"Yeah, she is. Is everything alright?"

"We think Y/

is in labour. We've just got to the hospital."

"Wow, okay. I'll get Leah and we'll head towards the hospital." Alex voice clearly shocked, you could tell that she was disapointed in her best friend and the way she had acted towards you.

By the time the call had finished, Jack was round by your door trying to help you get out. Sasha grabbed your bag and Jayden before following you and Jack into the hospital.

"Hi, I think my sister's in labour." He told the receptionist, whilst still holding you to make sure that you didn't fall.

"Can I have a name, please?" The receptionist was a quite polite, old woman.

"Y/N Williamson." Jack told her.

"And how many weeks are you?"

"27 weeks." You replied this time.

"Right okay, we'll get you straight into the room and a doctor will be straight through." She told you calmly. Before directing you towards your room.

Half an hour had past and you were all set up in your room, on the bed. A doctor had came to check you, telling you that you were already 9cm dialated. You contractions were way closer together than what they had been, they had put you on gas and air to try and reduce the amount of pain you were in.

Jayden was sat outside your room with Sasha, asleep in her lap. It was getting late, so he was bound to be tired. You knew that he was confused about what was going on, but he just went along with all the chaos.

Jack was sat in the room with you. Perched on the bed next to you, your hand in one of his whilst his other ran through your hair.

"Where is she, Jack?"

"She'll be here. I know you've been falling out a lot recently. And as much as I dislike her for the way she has been treating you, she would never miss the birth of her little girl." He told you, trying to re-assure you as best as you could.

What you didn't know was that Leah was currently running through into the hospital, heading straight towards the maternity section. Alex right behind her.

"My wife. She's here, she's in labour." Leah told the same receptionist.

"Your name and your wife's name, please." The old woman still polite.

"Leah Williamson. My wife, Y/N Wiliamson." Leah's fustration coming out in her voice, her own guilt causing her patience to run thin.

"Room 107. She…" The receptionist didn't even get to finish her sentence before Leah had took off, trying to find your room as quickly as she could.

Jack had left the room a minute whilst the doctors checked you over again when he saw Leah running around the corner, Alex not far behind.

"Your having a laugh, aren't you." Jack angrily questioned Leah.

"Jack, look I know I messed up and let her down but let me see her. You know I need to be with her for this." She told him, whilst quickly lowering herself to where Jayden was sat on Sasha's lap before kissing his forehead.

"You need to remeber how lucky you are that she loves you."

"I know." Her head lowered in guilt. heavily regretting how she had treated you.

"Jack. Babe, you need to let her go in. Y/N needs her." Sasha told him, grabbing ahold of his hand.

Jack didn't say anything, he just sat down in the chair next to Sasha. Before looking at Leah and glancing towards the door of your room.

Leah wasted no time in darting through the doors. Her face saddened at the state you were currently in. Your face blochy and tear-stained from how much you had been crying, your body looked so drained from the amount of pain you were in. You weren't even looking towards the door, you were just staring out the window of your room.

"Baby?" Leah said softly, as she sat on the edge of your bed, quickly grabbing your hand.

"I'm so sorry, princess. I know I messed up and I feel so bad for that. You and Jayden and this little one are my everything and I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you in my life." She continued, her voice no higher than a whisper not wanting to startle you.

"I don't like you at the minute." You told her through staggered breaths.

She slightly laughed at your outburst before quickly kissing your forehead.

"That's fair. I deserve that."

You were about to answer Leah when you felt the urge to push. The pain caused you to let out out a grunt in pain and squeeze Leah's hand.

"Baby, what's the matter." Leah questioned you  worringly.

"I need to push!"

Leah quickly got up and ran out the room, telling Jack to find a midwife, before rushing back to your side.

"Same as Jayden, yeah?"

You soon nodded at Leah. She helped you lean foward slowly before quickly slipping in to sit behind you on the bed. Your back flush against her chest, as both her hands found yours.

A couple of midwife's soon came into the room, not wasting anytime in getting ready before telling to push when you felt like you needed to.

The pain of giving birth could never be explained to anyone. Your body was tired, your throat was extremely sore and you were sweating profusely.

Leah was a gem, exactly how she was when Jayden was.

"Leah I can't do this." The pain quickly becoming too much for you to handle.

"You can my beautifil girl." "Your so strong." "I'm so proud of you." "My special girl."

Leah continuously whispering praise into your ear. Trying to re-assure and calm you down in every way she could.

After nearly half an hour of pushing, you were finally making progress.

"Right, I need one more push from you, sweetheart. " One of the midwifes told you.

"Come on, Love. Our baby girl is nearly here." One of Leah's hand that was holding yours came up to push your hair from your forehead.

You managed to use any energy that you had left to give one final push, a loud groan left your mouth as you did. Leah's praises never stopped throughout.

And finally, your little girl was born. But something was wrong, you and Leah both knew that.

"Why isn't she crying?" You said breathlessly, your voice containing nothing but panic.

The midwifes didn't reply to you, simply concentrating on your daughter. You couldn't see what they were doing as many midwifes and doctors surronded the little bed that they had placed her in.

After 10 grueling minutes, a quiet cry came from your daughter. Both, you and Leah let out a huge sigh of relief. Tears streaming from both your eyes as a midwife brought your little girl over to you, carefully placing her in your arms.

She was Leah's absolute double. Big blue eyes looked up at you, a few light blonde hairs rested on her head.

"Hi, babygirl." Leah said softly from behind you. Her finger gently going in the tiny hand of your daughter.

"She's perfect." You whispered, Leah kissing the side of your forehead in agreement.

Not so long later: Alex, Jack, Sasha and Jayden were allowed into your room.

Jack came in the room with Jayden resting on his hip, Sasha and Alex following after them. All of them surronding your bed. You and Leah let them all have a look at your daughter, currently not wanting to let her from your grip. You knew how important skin to skin contact was for your newborn.

By now, Leah had come from behind you and was resting next to you on the bed. Jack soon handed Jayden to Leah, him soon taking comfort in his Mum's lap.

"I a big brother now." Jayden told you all before slowly peering at his sister currently in your arms., you all letting out a slight chuckle at him.

"You've got a very important job now, little man." Jack told him.

The three of them eventually left the room leaving time for you and Leah to have with both of your children.

You layed happy as ever on the bed with your own little family, both children fast asleep in yours and Leah's arms.\ Leah looking at you with nothing but admiration and love in her eyes.

"You know, I'd marry you all over again if I could." Leah said quietly, her words pouring out suddenly.

"You would?"

"Most definatly. This, right here, means more to me than anything else ever could. And i'm so sorry that I forgot that. You make me so happy, Y/N. it's kind of scary sometimes."

"Your so soppy sometimes, Leah." Your slightly laughed at her before resting your head on her shoulder.

"I love you, Y/N."

"I love you too, Leah."

"Now, babygirl needs a name. So, what you thinking."

"I quite like the name Erin and I think it goes really nice with Jayden." You told Leah, both of you just contently looking between each other and your children.

"Erin (Your Mum's Name) Amanda Williamson. I love it, it's perfect for her."

"Can we wait a while before the next one. I think I need about 5 years to recover from today."

"My girl, we can have another whenever you want. But for now, i've got all I need right here."

[killjae]

leon catdad fluff cause he’s such a cutiepie, this is for you anon!! i hope you see this :3

this is also my second fic, so please enjoy!! special tags :3 @wriosmilk @scorpiolara

ribbon border made by @cherubify !!!

ermm sweet sickle leon, praise and appreciation, catdad leon!!! you’re surrounded in lovebites!!!!!

it was storming outside, the light pitter patter of rain hitting your windowpanes continuously. the sound of thunder booming every now and then, despite the fact you were huddled under a blanket trying to keep yourself warm while watching a movie.

a ring could be heard from your doorbell as it chimed loudly, the sudden noise making you turn your head towards the door and get up.

your soft footsteps making their way across the floor before your hand reached the doorknob and opened it to a small soaked cardboard box with a wet piece of paper attached to it.

what? who would leave this here? you questioned yourself, unsure of what lies inside of the mysterious box. the thought lingering in your head as you carefully peaked over, the sound of rain filling your ears as it was pouring down outside.

there was no one to be found, who could have done this?

a small mew comes out and startles you. what? it was an animal inside, left out in the rain.

you leaned over and opened the box to find a small calico cat, it was soaked with water and mud in it’s fur as it stared up at you. poor thing. you quickly moved to take it inside despite the water leaving a trail as you brought the box inside along with the note attached.

it read. “i’m giving this cat up for adoption, as i cannot hold another one. i don’t have much time left to foster anymore animals so i’ve been sending them out to be adopted by other loving homes. please take care of her, she’s very loving and energetic when you get to know her.”

the feeling after reading the soggy paper left you with a frown and a feeling of sorrow as you looked down at the kitten once again, another meow could be heard.

you grabbed the kitten despite the mud, fleas and murky water coating your hands before bringing her over to a small bowl and filling it with warm water.

giving her a small dawn-soaped bath getting all the fleas and dirt off of her tiny body as she mewled and whined out, not yet used to the feeling of this new warmth.

she was a beautiful calico cat with a brown heart birthmark on her left cheek, almost reminding you of leon with the way you smiled at her. you wrapped her in a small blanket to keep her warm before calling leon, holding the phone to your ear as you rubbed both her sides in the blanket to warm her up faster.

“i-i found this kitten outside left in a cardboard box, with a note about her owner having a limited time left on this earth. i know you said you wouldn’t want a pet, let alone a cat, but she needs us—“

“…are you kidding? you know i’m not very fond of cats.”

“—leon, come on. she’s a baby, she looks barely 4 years old. plus, i kinda gave her a bath and everything, including the flea treatment and now i just have to get some formula that would be good for her to feed on till she gets big enough on her own.”

“..i’m coming home now.”

“don’t be mad, okay? she’s really cute.”

it wasn’t until twenty minutes later you heard the front door open and leon was taking his work boots off and his uniform before leaving himself in a tanktop and his workpants. you were sitting on the couch, keeping the kitten in your lap as she snuggled into your embrace.

“so, where is she?” leon’s booming voice came from behind as he moved from the side of the couch to sit next to you, his eyes instantly going to the small animal sitting in your embrace.

he lightly gasped seeing her fur pattern and genes before leaning closer to her. “..she’s pretty. you said someone left her on our porch? what a shame they can’t take care of anymore but that doesn’t mean we can foster her.”

“leon. she’s just a baby, a kitten literally. why can’t we keep her?” you tilted your head with a frown, looking at him before he huffed.

“we have to get her spayed, her check-ups, and going to the vet.. that’s a lot, plus YOU like her, i’m not into cats like that.” leon gave you a look, although secretly he was considering the possibilities of keeping the kitten.

“i’ll handle all of that, she’s gonna be my baby. she’s gorgeous and such a beautiful breed.” you smiled, lightly petting the kitten’s fur as she yawned before closing her eyes.

“are you sure? i still think we shouldn’t, and we should wait to get a bigger house.” leon spoke, as he crossed his arms.

little did he know.

months later you three are staying at home on a saturday as he’s throwing a squeaky mouse for your cat to catch. you ended up naming her miri, despite leon’s protest on not keeping her. he protested for a long 12 months, eventually coming to like miri.

“you’re a reall, pretty girl. a good one too, you really like this mouse, huh?” leon chuckled as he watched miri repeatedly chase it with excitement.

you stared at the two of them with a smile, remembering how leon went against keeping her a year ago when she was left on your front porch in the soaking wet rain. that stormy night, you’ll never forget the staying up late and having to change schedules because you two were new cat parents.

“shut up, okay? i know what you’re thinking of. i didn’t realize she’s not that bad and she’s actually pretty adorable.” leon spoke out of nowhere as miri was on his shoulder, nibbling his earlobe and slow blinking to signal she was really comfortable around the two of you.

leon felt a sense of pride and achievement in his life, being a catdad despite his previous attitude in the past.

he was happy to have two beautiful girls in his life that he would die for.

[corrodedcorpses]

Boys on Film. Part iii

Pairing: PS!Steve x PS!Eddie x Virgin!reader

Summary: last week with Eddie and Steve was everything you could’ve dreamed of and yet you can’t seem to shake these feelings of inadequacy at your lack of experience. Getting it in your head that they must be so bored with you… but surely they would tell you if they felt that way… right?

Warnings: Smut (18+), Masturbation (female), Voyeurism, Oral sex (f&m), angst (don’t hate me)

Word count: 12K

a/n: omg it’s finally done!! I have been working on this for years trying to get it right while also having life happen. I really hope it lives up to expectations and I can get the next part out wayyyyy sooner (also massive thank yous to my babies @andvys @wroteclassicaly @usedtobecooler for all of your help ily all sm)

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 4 // Part 4.5

You slide your hands along your thighs slowly, feeling goosebumps rise as your fingers barely graze your skin. Rub your hands up your thighs, yeah, just like that, Steve’s words replay in your mind. You move your hands higher, one coming to cup your bare tits as you replay Eddie telling Steve how gorgeous they were.  

You’re going faster than they showed you, you know that, but you’ve been so desperate all day at work you need to relieve some tension now. The events of a couple of days before replaying in your head on a constant loop. 

You tweak your nipple, stifling a moan as you feel heat pool at your core. You bring your other hand to gently rub your clit over your panties, gasping at how wet they feel already. 

You’re desperate to feel how wet you are again as you move your panties to the side, lightly grazing a finger up your soaking core. That’s it, pretty girl, nice and slow, you can practically hear Eddie say breathlessly. 

You spread your wetness all over your clit before pumping a finger inside, crying out at how good it feels, your thumb coming up to rub fast circles in your clit. You know Eddie would chastise you right now for going too fast, but that image alone has you plunging another finger inside your dripping core. 

God, look at you, wish you could see how pretty and needy she looks right now, and so wet, you remember Eddie moaning to Steve. The coil inside of you tightening as your mind is focused on nothing but your boys. 

You realise you have been neglecting your nipples and give one an accidentally hard tweak at the realisation, causing you to arch your back at the mix of pleasure and pain. 

You’re so close, you can feel it as you moan out “I’m so close” to your empty room. You imagine Eddie and Steve calling you their good girl again as they desperately tell you to cum for them. 

That’s the final push you need before your orgasm crashes into you. Not as hard as it was with them but definitely the hardest you’ve ever made yourself cum on your own. 

Your back still arches and your legs still shake as you continue fingering yourself through your orgasm. 

You slump against the mattress when your orgasm finally fades. All too aware of the lack of Steve’s chest behind you or Eddie’s hands on your ankles. No, you think to yourself, I can’t get used to them always being here for that. The thought making your chest tighten but you’re too tired to unpack why. 

You quickly throw your pjs back on, climbing under the covers as exhaustion takes over. Your dreams travelling to your usual thoughts of Eddie and Steve. 

*****

You strut down your hallway with an extra pep in your step as you hear three quick knocks on your front door. Tonight is your usual night to hang out with Eddie and Steve which always makes you excited. But tonight brings an extra promise of continuing your lessons. You decided for a similar outfit as last time, something comfortable but still cute. You still feel like you excessively cleaned and moisturised but you’re definitely less nervous, excited this time even. 

You swing the door open much faster than you had intended, slightly startling Steve in the process. Your eyes quickly scan for Eddie, but assume they must have decided to drive separately. You beam at him as you motion him inside, throwing your arms around him in a friendly but tight hug. 

“Hello to you too honey,” he laughs fondly, returning your hug with just as much enthusiasm. “You’ll have to settle for just me for a little bit though,” he explains, letting your hug go to search your face for a reaction but still holding your hands in his warm palms, suddenly self conscious you’ll be disappointed in Eddie not being with him, “Eddie got caught up with doing something for Wayne, I couldn't catch the details, but he promises he’ll be joining us soon.” 

“Of course that's okay Stevie,” you say reassuringly, giving his hands a squeeze, “what do you want to do in the meantime?”

You mean your question innocently, and Steve knows that but he can’t help but selfishly want you to himself just for a second while Eddie is preoccupied. 

“Wanna sit?” He asks, letting go of one of your hands when you nod yes, holding the other tightly as he leads you to the couch. You can’t help but get butterflies in your stomach as you have every time you’ve sat on this couch since that night. 

Steve’s still holding your hand as you both sit next to each other, knees grazing as you angle yourself towards him. You find yourself staring absentmindedly at your interlocked fingers, teeth nibbling at your bottom lip as you feel nerves creep through your body. 

Steve can tell how tense you are as you sit rigid on the couch and grip his hand tighter than he thinks you realise. He hates seeing you like this around him, but can understand how you feel, doing this with someone he cares about is all new to him too after all. 

He rubs the back of your hand with his thumb in a comforting way. You look up at him as you realise you’ve been staring for a weirdly long time. You’re met with his warm amber eyes when you look up and you can feel yourself melting in them, earning yourself a warm smile from Steve. 

“Tell me about you honey,” his voice is as sweet as honey, “I feel like we haven’t properly caught up in ages, the last time we hung out we were a bit… preoccupied.” He says with a teasing wiggle of his eyebrows. You laugh at his ridiculous joke, thinking how he’s definitely been hanging out with Eddie too much, but can’t help the blush that creeps onto your cheeks. 

You and Steve talk for ages, you catch him up on the latest things that have happened in the last couple of weeks, which isn't much seeing as the most exciting things involved him anyway. He chats to you about his latest film, going into more details than he usually did, you realise. It leaves a slight pang in your chest but you’re glad he seems more comfortable sharing that part of his life with you now. 

You also don’t miss how certain details go straight to your core… and Steve doesn’t miss how that makes you squirm. As he continues his story he starts to gently trace your knee with his free hand, fingertips grazing you slightly, causing you to shudder from his touch. His fingertips inch higher and higher ever so slowly, leaving goosebumps in their journey towards where you need them most. 

You decide to chance a glance down at his fingers but realise too late that that's a bad idea when you find yourself unable to take your eyes off them. You watch his long slender fingers dance against your thigh, entranced by the way the veins and tendons tense and move with every movement. You stare intently at his fingertips, trying to will them to your core. 

Steve notices pretty quickly that you’re no longer listening to him so he asks you a question about work instead, wondering if just how preoccupied you are. You barely register that he’s asked you a question when you stare up at him blankly. He gives you a knowing smirk in return as he asks again, “How has work been babe?” 

“O-oh,” you stammer, swallowing thickly as you try to get your brain to work. 

You stumble your way through answering Steve, all while his fingers graze higher and higher. “A-and then my boss- ah,” you're cut off with an involuntary moan as Steve's fingers finally graze your core through your thin shorts. 

“What did your boss do?” He replies, tone casual, as though he’s completely unbothered by the situation and not already painfully hard in his jeans. You’re just so responsive, he really doesn’t know if he can contain himself until Eddie gets here. 

“O-oh well, um, she —“ you try to continue but your brain is so foggy, Steve's fingers increasing in pressure send shocks throughout your body. You clear your throat, “well, she was — um,” god he has pretty lips, you find yourself distracted again as you stare at them. You try to will your brain to form a coherent thought, one that doesn't involve Steve's lips, and fingers, and pretty eyes and how good his hands felt on you and how thick he is and oh how you can definitely see the outline of him straining against his jeans. 

Oh fuck it. You surge forward, suddenly capturing Steve’s lips with your own. The small surprised sound that Steve makes gets swallowed by your greedy mouth as he kisses you back with just as much intensity. You try to deepen the kiss, Steve letting you take control, loving how confident you are when you’re so turned on like this. 

You lean up on your knees, desperate to feel more of Steve, moaning as you feel your chest press against his. Steve needs you closer as well, grabbing your thighs and pulling you onto his lap. You squeal at the feeling, finally breaking away from his lips, but it quickly turns into a moan as you feel Steve’s hardening length pressed right against your core. 

Steve’s hands come to knead at your hips, not holding you still but not moving you either. As much as he would love to throw you onto the couch and bury himself deep inside you over and over again, or at least feel your hips grind against his, he would never let himself go faster than what you're ready for. 

Luckily for Steve you snake your arms around his neck, fingers tangling in the hair at the nape and finally moving your hips against his. It’s sloppy and without rhythm, the angle not quite right but it offers at least a little bit of relief for him. 

You stay like that for a while, kissing and moaning and grinding against him. Your hips pick up their pace, needing something but you can’t seem to make it feel as good as you need it. You break the kiss, forehead resting against Steve's as you both pant. 

“Steve,” you whine, and god it’s one of the most beautiful sounds Steve has ever heard. 

“What do you need, beautiful?” He whispers. 

“You, more, just something, please.”

He chuckles fondly at you, he can’t get over how fucked out you are already. “I got you babe, just, here, like this.” Steve takes hold of your hips more firmly, angling them down and grinding you against him, moving his hips up against you at the same time. 

You let out a shaky groan, finally feeling the pressure deliciously against your clit. Steve attaches his lips to your neck, kissing and sucking at the sensitive skin there as he continues to grind you against him. 

He can feel your thighs start to tense, shaking ever so slightly and as much as he would love to watch you come apart in his lap, he knows you should both wait for Eddie. 

“That feeling good huh baby?” He asks cockily. 

“Mmhm,” you moan, nodding your head vigorously, eyes screwed shut tightly as you try to chase that feeling. Just then Steve stops moving your hips, keeping you still as you try to squirm. You open your eyes then, bottom lip protruding in the cutest pout Steve has ever seen. 

“Don’t you think we should wait for Eddie, baby?” 

You take a deep breath, “Fuck, yeah, yeah you’re probably right.”

Steve rests his forehead against yours as you both catch your breath. He nudges his nose against yours, stealing a quick, soft peck against your trembling lips. 

“I was so close though, shit,” You breathlessly laugh. 

“Oh trust me babe, I know.” He laughs with you, foreheads still pressed together. 

“I hope Eddie gets here soon,” you whine and as if he heard you, you hear the familiar sound of Eddie’s van pull up out the front. You sit up straighter in Steve’s lap, an excited smile on your face. Steve returns your smile but tries not to focus on the jealousy creeping up inside him at your excited reaction to Eddie. 

“Wanna put on a show for him when he walks in?” Steve asks mischievously. You nod excitedly in response. 

 *****

Eddie pulls up at your place, practically leaping out of his van and running up to your door. He uses the spare key you gave him, not even bothering to knock, assuming you probably both heard his van anyway. 

He resists the urge to yell ‘honeys I’m home’ as he enters. When he sees that you're both not in the kitchen he rounds the corner, the sight of you both rushing straight to his cock as he swallows hard. You’re perched on top of Steve’s lap, both of you making out fervently, each swallowing the soft moans you both make. He can see the plush of your ass in between Steve's fingers as he grips it to move you against him. 

I could get used to coming home to this.

Eddie quickly pushes that thought out of his mind. It was a stupid thought to have anyway. He watches how relaxed and in sync you both look, both lips swollen and red from obviously a long makeout session. This realisation settles in Eddie's stomach, envy bubbling deep inside. This feeling only grows as he realises neither of you have even realised he’s there, so he thinks. 

You and Steve continue to put on your show for Eddie, thinking he’s completely dumbstruck at the sight before him, this only spurring you both on further, deepening the already sloppy kiss and rutting against each other with even more desperation. 

Eddie clearing his throat finally breaks you and Steve apart. Any annoyance Eddie felt at the situation was quickly dispelled as he was met with two excited, fond and smiling faces. 

“Hey you two,” he coos, coming to stand behind you in front of the couch. 

“Thank god you’re here man,” Steve sighs, “If we’d been making out any longer I don’t know if I would’ve been able to stop myself from bending her over this couch and fucking her.” He playfully bites at your neck causing you to blush and giggle in his lap. 

Eddie thinks your blushing, already fucked out face is adorable, coming to sit down next to steve on the couch. You waste no time in climbing into his lap instead, snaking your arms around him in a tight hug, finishing it off with a quick peck when you both pull away. 

A peck that Eddie quickly deepens, one hand coming to rest against your waist and one holding the back of your head. You moan at the feeling, easily submitting to Eddie as he slips his tongue through your awaiting lips. 

Steve can’t help but miss the feeling of you on his lap but would be lying if he said he didn’t love watching you and Eddie make out. You can’t get over the difference between how they kiss. Steve is controlled and intoxicating where Eddie’s is messy and all consuming. 

You and Eddie kiss for a little while longer before Steve stands up abruptly, not being able to handle the tightness of his jeans any longer. He holds his hand out to you. 

“Should we move this somewhere more comfortable?” 

*****

After a giggly makeout session down the hallway to your room, all three of you running away, pulling the other two back, pushing each other against the wall  and drooling at the sight of the other two making out, you find yourself sprawled out in front of Eddie and Steve. Both shirtless and palming themselves through their jeans as they take in the sight of your once again naked before them. 

Before they left in the morning last week you had all talked about “the plan” moving forward, both telling you they think the next time should be them eating you out. Both of them “getting to show you how hard we can make you cum” — as Eddie had said cockily through a mouthful of toast. 

“So… who’s going first?” You ask nervously. Eddie and Steve’s eyes snapping up to yours. They hadn’t really thought about that. 

“We’ll seeing as you got her all to yourself this afternoon it's only fair I get to taste her first huh Stevie?” Eddie winks at you, causing you to giggle. 

“What?” Steve questions, “No way man, if anything I had to endure making out with her all afternoon without getting to taste her, I’ve earned first taste!” 

“What? Bullshit!” Eddie retaliates. 

You can’t help but laugh at both of them, never in a million years did you think you’d have two guys, let alone Eddie and Steve fighting over who gets to taste you first. 

“Well…” You start, causing both of them to glance back at you, “Steve did get to help me cum last time… I think it should be Eddie. I-if that’s okay Stevie?” 

Steve smiles warmly at you, this is about you, he reminds himself. “Of course that’s okay honey,” he whispers sweetly, shooting playful daggers at Eddie when he snickers. 

Eddie comes to settle between your legs, gently spreading your knees until he is face to face with your already dripping cunt. You shudder when you feel his hot breath ghost over you. He kisses your inner thighs, gripping the plush of them gently as he maintains eye contact with you. 

It’s a bit surreal for a second, seeing your best friend, your Eddie, in between your legs, but you’re also certain you'd never feel more comfortable with anyone else, other than maybe Steve. 

“Ready sweetheart?” He practically purrs. 

You know better than to not give them a verbal answer, breathing out a soft yeah in response. Pleased with your answer Eddie gives you his usual wicked grin before dipping down, pressing a soft kiss to your throbbing clit, causing you to jump, even at the soft gesture. 

He spreads your folds for him more, licking a broad stripe from your hole and up to flick your clit softly with the end of his tongue, causing you to whimper at the foreign feeling. He repeats his actions, gathering all of your slick on his tongue before smearing it all over your sensitive bud, moaning softly as your taste invades his mouth. 

“Oh? Ohhhh, oh fuck,” you whimper and moan through a range of reactions. It feels weird and nothing like you expected but also good and everything you’d hoped for. Completely different to your ex and infinitely better with a guy who can actually find your clit and extra sensitive with the vibrations from Eddie’s moans. 

Steve comes to lay down beside you, propping himself up on his elbow as he cups your jaw. You gaze up at him and grip his bicep as Eddie starts to gently suck on your now swollen clit, causing a jolt of electricity to shoot through you.  

“How is he honey?” Steve asks with a chuckle, loving your sweet reactions. 

“So, so good,” you moan, lightly laughing too when you feel Eddie smile between your legs. 

You feel yourself getting lost in the feeling of Eddie’s tongue between your legs, your thoughts failing you as your mind can only focus on Steve and Eddie.

You feel the telltale signs of your orgasm fast approaching as Eddie’s skilled tongue starts to lightly breach your twitching hole. 

“Fuck,” you whimper at the feeling, throwing your head back at how intense it feels just to have half of Eddie’s tongue inside you. 

“Oh baby,” Steve coos, “You feeling that good from just his tongue barely fucking you huh?” 

You nod and whimper, the condescension in his tone making your walls clench around Eddie’s tongue, earning an even louder moan from the curly headed man between your legs. Eddie wasn’t sure who was loving this more. 

“Oh fuck, youre getting close huh honey?” Steve asks, leaning down to kiss along your jaw, “Fuckin’ sound so sweet when you’re ‘bout to cum for us.”

“Y-yeah,” you breathe between whimpers and tiny moans, “Ed-Eds is good, so so fucking good.” It’s the most coherent sentence you can manage at that moment. You can feel one of the most intense orgasms of your life rapidly approaching, all other thoughts and words failing you. 

Eddie moans cockily from between your legs, the low rumbling seemingly shooting through your entire body, adding to the already intense pleasure you're feeling. 

Steve continues to babble in your ear, sweet nothings of “you're being so good for us sweet girl.” and “you look so beautiful like this.”

Your hand flies down to tangle in Eddie’s hair, any previous apprehensions you had about touching him before and doing the ‘wrong thing’ completely gone the closer you get to reaching your peak. You realise too late how hard you're pulling on Eddie’s curly locks, but before you can apologise you see Eddie’s eyes roll in his head, his fingers gripping your thighs impossibly tighter. 

You mentally take note of the fact that Eddie loves his hair being pulled. Of course he does, you think.

You don’t get to think about that for much longer when Eddie starts to suck on you clit, hard. Your legs start to tremble, your thighs clenching around his head. 

“That's it, let go baby, make a mess of Ed’s pretty face.” Steve whispers in your ear. It’s enough to send you flying, hurdling over the edge as you cum harder than you ever have before. Your back arches, your whole body trembles and you practically scream Eddie’s name as you drench his face. 

Eddie doesn’t relent, sucking and licking you through your orgasm, only stopping when your back slumps onto the mattress, your body only trembling slightly from the aftershocks of your orgasm. 

As soon as you feel your senses return to you you look down in between your legs. The sight is almost enough to have you cumming again. Eddie is watching you with a warm smile, stark contrast to his beautiful, chocolate eyes gazing at you with intense lust. His soft lips and honestly half of his face soaked in your translucent, creamy cum. 

“You back with us sweetheart?” You hear Steve whisper in your ear, your head lulling to the side to face him as a dopey smile forms on your face. 

“Yeah,” you laugh, “shit that was amazing.” 

Eddie gives you a cocky smile at that. “Mmm, and you taste divine sweetheart,” he moans out, using his thumb to wipe some of your slick off his chin before sucking it into his mouth with a groan. An involuntary whimper leaving your lips as you watch him. 

Eddie and Steve chuckle fondly at your reaction before Eddie turns his attention to Steve. 

“You’ve gotta have a taste of her man, fucking incredible.” 

Steve is quick to move to kneel next to Eddie between your legs, leaning in to get a taste right from Eddie lips but Eddie stops him with a hand on his chest. Instead wiping more off of his chin with his thumb, before gently wiping it against Steve’s lips teasingly.  

You sit up on your elbows, wanting to get the best view you can. 

Steve is quick to open his mouth, sucking on Eddie’s thumb like it’s his favourite flavour of ice cream, theatrically moaning at your taste as his eyes roll. 

“More?” Eddie asks him knowingly, removing his thumb. 

Steve barely gets to say please before Eddie is smashing their lips together. Steve impatiently deepens the kiss, his tongue invading every inch of Eddie’s mouth, both of them moaning into each other.

When the taste of you starts to dull in Eddie’s mouth, Steve pulls away, licking a broad stripe from Eddie's chin all the way back to Eddie’s slightly gaping lips before connecting them both again. It earns him a slightly surprised moan from Eddie and causes you to squirm, trying to close your legs but being unable as the two boys are still between them. 

“What did I tell you?” Eddie asks Steve breathlessly when they finally break away. 

“Mmph, you were right — fucking devine,” Steve moans, Eddie’s eyes dart to you, giving you a quick wink, causing your cheeks to burn. 

“Think you could handle more, sweet girl?” Eddie asks. You nod your head apprehensively, craving more but also always unsure of what mischief Eddie is planning. 

But before you can dwell on that thought for too long, Eddie is gently guiding Steve’s head to your still dripping cunt. Watching you both for any signs of apprehension, smirking to himself when he finds only wonder in your eyes and pure lust in Steve’s as he gets himself comfortable on his stomach. 

You jolt when Steve licks your cunt, apologising to him but you just feel Steve smile against you and moan at your taste in response. Steve is slower and more gentle than Eddie. You’re not sure if he's going easy on you because he knows how overly sensitive you must be or if he is usually just this gentle, but you hope you get to find that out another time. 

Eddie keeps his hand on the back of Steve’s head, pulling the hair slightly, knowing how much it makes Steve squirm. Steve moans at the pressure on his scalp, hips absentmindedly rutting against the bed, desperate for some kind of relief. 

You continue to moan and flinch from the overstimulation to your swollen clit, Eddie’s mouth practically salivating at the sight. As if reading Eddie’s mind, Steve suddenly brings his hand up to cup the back of Eddie’s head, pulling him to join him down at your dripping cunt. 

You sit up higher on your hands now, not wanting to miss a second of this and spreading your legs impossibly wider to accommodate two people between them. Eddie darts his tongue out, licking slowly along your clit too, tongue bumping Steve’s as he does. Eddie drops his hand from Steve’s head, letting the other take control. 

You make a sound between a scream and a high pitched moan as you feel two separate tongues on you. Your hand coming to cup your mouth instinctively as you start to feel self conscious of the sounds you’re making. 

“Ah ah, sweetheart,” you hear Eddie’s deep voice as he grabs your hand, pulling it away from your face, “let us hear your pretty moans.” 

You nod in response, still gripping Eddie’s hand and tangling your fingers together as he goes back to devouring you, your eyes screwing shut at the intense, overstimulating pleasure. You feel them both move slightly, one tongue dipping lower, circling your hole as the other continues to circle your clit slowly, deliberately. 

You gasp as you feel the tongue start to breach your hole, head snapping down to see both sets of eyes on you. You see Eddie’s eyes brimming with mischief as you realise it’s his tongue that’s slowly thrusting inside you again, this time as far as it will reach with Steve’s head in the way. 

Your mouth hangs open in a silent gasp, eyebrows furrowing together as you watch them intently. You whine when Eddie pulls away from your cunt, taking his hand back from your tight grip as he sits up. However he is quick to replace his tongue with one of his fingers, barely pushing it into you up to the first knuckle. 

“This okay sweet girl?” He asks breathlessly, wasting no time to slowly push his finger in when you whisper out please. 

You moan and gasp at the foreign feeling of having someone else’s fingers inside of you as Eddie continues to pump further into your dripping heat with every thrust. 

As soon as he’s got one finger pumping in and out of you slowly you turn to him, begging for him to add another finger which he happily obliges. 

“Aww, sweetheart,” he coos with a fake pout as you whimper at the delicious sting of his second finger being added, “that too much for your tight little pussy?” 

“N-no,” you stutter out, “fuck, no, its good. It’s so fucking good Eddie your fingers are so thick.” You don’t have time to register how out of character it is for you to talk like this, but you’re hurdling too fast towards your second orgasm — something that once felt impossible — to notice. “So much thicker than mine, fuck. A-and Steve, your tongue feels, oh god, so good. It’s so much and so perfect, shit.”  

Steve’s eyes roll into the back of his head as he lets out a guttural moan at your words. Eddie looking at you in a mix of surprise and awe as he mutters a “Fuck, princess,”. His free hand coming to palm himself through his jeans. 

You watch Eddie touch himself, suddenly getting the overwhelming urge to have him deep in your throat like you’ve been imaging for the past week. 

With you knew found confidence you shakily ask, “Y-you look so hot when you touch yourself Ed’s, fuck. C-can I?” 

Eddie finds your vague question adorable. He’s got an inkling of what you’re asking for. But he needs to hear those words fall from your bitten lips. Eddie slowly removes his fingers, still careful to not hurt you, although you're so wet he's sure he could slide his dick in with no resistance at this point. 

He comes to kneel beside you on the bed. “You’re gonna have to ask better than that princess, what do you need from me?” 

“Your cock.” You mumble, flushing a little, “Please, can I, — can I suck it again?” 

Eddie would give you the world if you asked with the way your lust blown, glassy eyes are staring up at him. He wastes no time undoing his pants, shoving them and his boxers down in one swift motion. 

“You sure you’re up for this sweet thing? It’s hard to concentrate on pleasing whilst getting pleased, ya know?” 

“Mm I’m sure, please?” You beg, reaching out for him with one hand, the other keeping you half upright. 

“Eager,” he chuckles at you, “here, keep your head still like that and focus on keeping yourself upright, I’m gonna thrust into your mouth, I promise I’ll be gentle, okay?” 

“Okay,” you breathe, eyes focused on Eddie’s cock mere inches from your lips, your mouth salivating and opening on instinct as you finally get what you so desperately crave. 

The musky taste of Eddie invades your senses as you finally feel the head slip past your lips. You go to bob your head but Eddie grabs your hair, holding you still. Instead feeding you his cock slowly, inch by inch before moving out and gently thrusting back in. He continues this until he’s set a good rhythm that’s still slow enough for you. 

“That’s it,” Eddie sighs at the relief of you lips and tongue, “good fucking girl.”

You feel Steve’s fingers breach your hole suddenly, two fingers sliding in with ease due to the stretching from Eddie moments ago. You feel Steve curl his fingers, reaching a spot deep inside you that you’ve never been able to reach on your own. 

The feeling causes you to gasp around Eddie’s cock, accidentally gagging in the process. Steve stops licking and sucking at your clit when he hears you, stilling his fingers inside you. Eddie is quick to remove himself from your mouth, although he couldn’t hide the moan that left his lips feeling your throat constrict around his cock like that, resisting the urge to completely ruin you. 

“You okay little one?” He asks, wiping a tear that’s escaped your glassy eyes.

“Yeah,” you assure him, turning to Steve, “you can do both at the same time?” You ask innocently, awe and surprise written all over your face. 

“Yeah,” Steve replies with a chuckle as Eddie smiles. 

“Fuck, that’s so hot.” 

Steve can’t stop the smile that spreads on his face, you are so cute it hurts. 

“You okay if I get back to it?” He asks, diving back in gently when you nod your head vigorously. 

“Ready for me too, sweet girl?” He asks, thumb rubbing gently against your cheek. You respond by opening your mouth, your tongue hanging out, inviting Eddie’s cock back in. 

Eddie thinks about chastising you for not using your words, but decides that can wait for another time. He instead gently grabs the back of your head, angling it back towards him and thrusting slowly into your eagerly awaiting lips. 

You moan around Eddie’s length, the overwhelming sensations of Steve’s tongue circling your clit, his lips sucking gently on you every now and then, his fingers thrusting, curling and stretching you and the weight of Eddie’s cock restringing dizzyingly against your tongue, dragging over it and slipping slightly down your throat becoming all too much. 

But you never want it to stop. 

Steve is completely lost in you, your taste, your smell, the beautiful sounds you're making all because of him. He’s been desperate since he got you in his lap, this just sending him into a frenzy, straining to keep his control so as to not overwhelm you and completely in awe of how well you’re doing. He can’t help but grind against the bed, right in time with the thrusting of his fingers, imagining it was his cock stuffed deep inside you instead. 

He looks up at you, completely mesmerised by the way you’re taking Eddie’s cock so well. How hot you look with your eyes half lidded, staring up at Eddie, drool coating the corner of your mouth and no doubt the other side he can’t see.

Eddie looks just as beautiful, his long waves cascading down his back and sticking to his forehead. His eyes are screwed shut, brows furrowed and Steve can tell he’s trying so hard to be gentle with you, knowing just how hard Eddie usually likes it. It has his dick throbbing, begging for release. 

He’s so lost in you both that he doesn’t realise he’s starting to rut against the bed faster and consequently, fingering you faster as well. 

You feel Steve speed up, the dizzying pleasure causing you to choke on Eddie again. You moan at the feeling, already addicted to the feeling of gagging on Eddie’s thick cock.  

You’re somewhat annoyed when you feel Eddie start to pull away again, no doubt to check on you once again. Although you appreciate how caring and gentle they are being, you feel like you might die if he pulls away again. 

You quickly grab the back of his thigh, pulling it closer to you again and making you gag as Eddie wasn't expecting the force in which you pulled him closer. You moan again at the feeling. 

“Oh fuck sweetheart,” Eddie moans, “you like that huh? Like choking on my cock baby?” 

Both you and Steve moan at his words, you moaning out a “mmhmm” as best you can around his cock. 

“Shit look at our dirty fucking girl, Stevie,” he continues, stomach muscles contracting from his fast approaching orgasm whenever you gag and moan around his length. 

Eddie throws his head back as he feels you bob your head in time with his thrusts, taking him deeper in your throat than he thought you would be able to. 

“Jesus Christ sweetheart, you’re gonna make me cum if you keep that up,” he almost whimpers breathlessly. The moan that leaves your lips at his statement is pornographic, sending Eddie hurdling faster towards his orgasm. 

“You like that huh? Want me to cum in this slutty throat?” He asks, and he’s met with more moans and gags. 

He cant take it anymore, your mouth feels absolutely sinful. He grabs your hair harder, still trying his best to be gentle with you but failing slightly. He makes the mistake of looking down, he’s met with your half closed, beautiful eyes staring up at him as his cock disappears between your lips and the image of Steve being completely lost in your pussy, rutting shamelessly against the bed as his hand grips your thigh. 

Those two things are what finally sends him hurdling over the edge. 

“Oh god just like that y/n, oh fuck, m’gonna — I’m gonna fucking cum, shit-” Eddie cums with a silent moan, hips stilling completely, one first balled by his side, the other tangled in your hair. It takes everything in him to keep still while you gladly milk him dry with your mouth, moaning at the taste. 

When Eddie feels his orgasm subsiding he quickly pulls out of your mouth with a pop, the feeling verging on overstimulating. 

The feeling of Eddie’s thick ropes of cum covering your tongue and sliding down your throat are enough to bring you to the brink of your second orgasm of the night. As soon as Eddie’s cock leaves your mouth you throw your head back, moans and whimpers now free to spill past your swollen lips. 

Eddie bends down to capture your lips in a searing kiss, tasting himself on your tongue as you moan into each other's mouths. You break away as Steve starts to suck on your clit, hard, your hand coming down to tangle in his caramel locks as you make eye contact with the sweet boy between your legs. 

“Oh fuck, Steve I’m so close,” you practically scream, “Your tongue is so good, fuck your fingers are so thick it’s so good, fuck you’re stretching me out so good baby.” 

Steve and Eddie moan at your words, surprised but pleased with how wrecked they’ve gotten you, so much so that you finally seem to have no problem telling them exactly how you feel. All previous anxieties melted away as your brain fogs and your legs start to shake. 

They can tell you’re right on the edge. Eddie leans down slightly, bracing you with a hand on your back to keep you upright as your arms start to wobble, pressing gentle kisses to your shoulder as he mumbles encouragements and praises of ‘good girl, we’ve got you, come on and let go for us, make a mess of Stevies pretty face like you did mine.’ 

Your orgasm crashes into you and you soak Steve's face with a pleasured scream. Your whole body shakes and your vision blurs, you’re thankful for Eddie holding you up or else you feel as though you’d sink through the mattress. 

Feeling you clench around his fingers and tasting your cum has Steve cumming as well, he hadn’t realised just how worked up he’d gotten until it was too late and he was cumming in his pants like a teenager. He groans into your cunt, continuing to lick and finger you through both of your orgasms. 

“I think that’s enough Steve,” you both barely hear Eddie. Steve had gotten so lost in his own orgasm he hadn’t thought to ease you through yours, thankfully though, he hears Eddie enough and does stop, and you finally start to catch your breath. 

You slowly start to open your eyes, blinking at the brightness, your vision finally focusing again. You see Steve between your legs still, resting his head on one of your thighs as he massages the other, staring up at you lovingly. 

“Welcome back little one,” you hear Eddie whisper as he continues to plant soft kisses on your shoulder and rub your back. 

“Hey,” you say with a giggle, “damn that was… intense.” 

“It wasn’t too much?” Steve asks you. 

“Definitely not,” you reply. 

“Good,” Eddie replies for him. You all stay like that for a second, all basking in the afterglow of your orgasms and the boys letting you come down from your high further. 

After a couple of moments you feel a slight change in Eddie’s demeanour. Unbeknownst to you Eddie had realised Steve had cum while eating you out. And there was no way Eddie was going to pass up the opportunity to ‘punish’ him for it.   

“Now,” he starts, “can you move over here for me, gorgeous?” He asks, gently moving you up and over so you're now on one side of the bed instead of the middle, your head resting gently on the pillows. 

You turn to get a better view of what Eddie’s planning, grabbing a pillow and hugging it between your arms, resting on your stomach with one leg bent, your chin dipping into the pillow in your arms. 

Steve was quick to hop up when Eddie moved you, now sitting on his knees, his hands resting perfectly on his thighs. He looks almost submissive, you think, no doubt sensing the change in Eddie too. 

Eddie crawls back over to the younger man, kneeling in front and towering over him, using his pointer finger to tilt Steve’s head back to look him in the eyes. 

“Poor little Stevie,” he says with a fake pout, “cumming in his pants like a teenager again from the pretty sounds our y/n was making huh?” 

You don’t miss how your heart leaps at Eddie calling you our y/n, but you’re way more preoccupied on the fact that you made the Steve Harrington cum in his jeans. 

“You did?” You ask in surprise, sitting up as much as your laxed body will let you. 

Steve nods sheepishly in return, avoiding eye contact as his head drops. Eddie is quick to grab his chin harshly, forcing Steve’s eyes back on him “She asked you a question,” he hisses. 

“Yes, I did.” Steve says, eyes never leaving the metalheads black orbs. 

Eddie tuts in return, “What are we gonna do with you huh?” He asks rhetorically, “Lie down.”

Steve obeys quickly, coming to lie next to, but still slightly away from you. You’re completely hypnotised by the dynamic and how they're acting. You’ve heard all of their stories of doing scenes where they’re ‘dominant’ or ‘submissive’, but seeing what you’re pretty sure is Eddie being Dominant while Steve is Submissive for him is something entirely different. 

If it didn’t feel like your whole lower body was numb, you know you’d be feeling your heartbeat in your core at the sight in front of you. 

You watch as Eddie undoes Steve’s jeans, pulling them and his boxers down in one go, Steve’s half hard, sticky length resting against his tight stomach. Steve whines as it comes in contact with the cool air, finally free from the confines of his tight jeans after what seems like hours. 

Eddie is quick to take Steve firmly in his grasp, slowly tugging on him as Steve hisses, whimpers and squirms under his touch. 

“Shit, Eddie, fuck, ‘s sensitive,” Steve whines out, trying to squirm away from Eddie’s grip. 

“Ah ah baby,” Eddie tuts, snaking his other hand around Steve’s back, circling his hips and pulling him back closer, holding him down. He leans out and spits on the head of Steve's dick, the drool dripping down onto Eddie's fingers as he continues to pump Steve. 

Eddie slowly licks the head of Steve’s length, groaning at the leftover taste of his cum before suckling lightly on the head. Steve continues to squirm. Even the light touches making him thrash in Eddie’s hold. 

Eddie finally starts to take Steve in his mouth, causing Steve’s hands to shoot out. One almost ripping a hole in your bed cover, the other trying to pull Eddie off by his hair. 

Eddie pulls off of Steve with a chuckle, grabbing Steve;s hand and holding it still by his side with the arm that's still behind Steve’s back. 

“God you’re such a fucking brat, hold still,” Eddie hisses. The words give you butterflies and they're not even directed towards you. 

You watch as Eddie continues to suck Steve off, their moans and Steve's whimpers completely hypnotising but as you continue to watch them interact you can’t help the annoying words of self doubt that start to creep into your mind. 

The smile on Eddie's face when he was telling Steve what to do and the look on Steve’s face as it contorts in so much pleasure, as he’s giggling and whining and moaning at the overstimulation. It seems carefree, like they are not having to hold back with each other, like they know the other person can actually handle what they're doing, not having to check in every 5 seconds because they know the other would be able to tell them to stop if needed. 

It looks fun. So much more fun than what they’ve been doing with you. 

Steve cries out as Eddie lightly plays with his balls, his second orgasm fast approaching. They can feel your eyes glued to them, knowing your watching only egging them on more, adding to the pleasure they are both feeling. God, they can’t wait to do this with you, but they know you need some more time before they can. 

They don’t care though, they're willing to wait for as long as you need. 

You watch as Steve’s hips start to meet Eddie’s pace, thrusting fast into his mouth. You watch in awe as Eddie hardly even gags, managing a lot better than you did. You look at how much more Steve is enjoying this, so much more than when Eddie had to hold back to show you how to suck Steve’s dick. How boring is it going to be for them when they take your virginity? 

“Fuck, Eddie I’m gonna cum, you want it huh? Wanna taste my cum?” Steve tries to tease, earning himself a smack on the thigh from Eddie. The sting only turns him on more. 

“Shit, yeah like that, exactly like that, oh my go-,” Steve cries out as he cums, thrashing even more in Eddie’s grip as he fights away and towards the pleasure. Eddie gives Steve mercy, barely sucking on him and stopping as soon as he’s sure Steve’s finished cumming. 

Eddie is quick to crawl up to Steve, crashing their lips together in a sloppy kiss. You watch behind hooded eyes as they swap fluids between their mouths, the pink of Steve’s tongue poking out to lave at Eddie’s, swallowing drops of his own cum. 

Steve’s the first to break away, “Okay that’s enough, fuck,” he pants, flopping back onto the bed, “gonna make me pass out Eds.” 

Eddie hops up, stretching as he chuckles at you both, tired and spent on the bed. 

“C’mon,” he murmurs fondly, tapping Steve’s thigh, cocking his head in your direction “we gotta get this one to bed.” 

They both look at you as you give them a tired smile, all negative thoughts gone from your head as their kind eyes meet yours. It's much easier to just be here with them anyway, for now at least. 

“‘M’not even tired,” you slur purposely with a giggle. 

“Mhmm sure, sure,” Eddie replies, coming around your side of the bed before picking you up bridal style, laughing at the small scream you let out as he picks you up. 

“Eddieeee,” you complain half heartedly, wrapping your arms around him and snuggling into his neck as he starts to walk you down your hallway to the bathroom “I can walk myself.”

“Honestly princess I don't know if you can.” He tuts. 

“Yeah, I mean I did make you cum pretty hard, way harder than Eddie did at least,” Steve teases as he follows you both. Yours, his and Eddie’s pjs in his hands.  Eddie narrows his eyes at Steve playfully as you giggle at their teasing, squealing as Eddie pops you down on the cold bench. 

“Eds, ‘s cold,” you pout. 

“I know baby just one sec, gotta get the shower ready for you.”

As soon as Eddie and Steve decide that the shower is the perfect temperature (with more bickering of course) they pop you on your feet, being extra doting as they make sure you can stand and taking their time to wash your body and hair for you. 

As much as you try to bury it, your insecurities arise again, thinking about how much more wrecked you are compared to Steve and how he doesn’t need his body washed for him because his arms feel like jelly. 

Unbeknownst to you, Eddie and Steve are absolutely loving this. Getting to touch your body, pamper you, be soft with you. It feels just as soothing to them as they hope it does to you. It’s something they never get when they are working: intimacy. It’s fun and they always unwind with the actors after, to make sure everything was okay and they enjoyed themselves but it's not like this. It's not with you. 

You all crawl into your bed after the shower. Getting cosy with each other just like you did last time. Eddie on his side facing you and Steve, you in the middle again, your head against Eddie’s chest and Steve’s head just above yours on Eddie’s arm, almost tucked under Eddie’s chin, his arm slung tightly over your waist. Eddie’s arm that’s under Steve’s head is bent as he plays with Steve’s hair, his other hand resting on the side of your face, playing with your hair and stroking your cheek, soothing both of you. 

It doesn’t take long for you and Steve to drift off to sleep, Eddie still playing with both of your hair. He watches you both, fondness and sadness settling in his stomach. 

He cares about you both so much, never wanting these moments with you both to end. But he knows they have to, he knows one day these moments will end for good. When he and Steve have shown you all they can. When your confidence is up and you finally find someone who treats you right, someone you deserve. And when Steve finds another girl who loves him better than Nancy ever could. 

He knows you’ll both move on from this, from him some day. Eddie knows he should move on from this too, but how could he? When the only things he's ever wanted are cuddling up to him as they sleep softly in his arms. 

*****

You sigh in frustration, pulling a pillow over your head and letting out a groan. You peek out from under it to see the time, your clock reading 12:03am, way past when you wanted to go to sleep… and meaning you’ve been trying to make yourself cum for over 2 hours. 

This is the third time you’ve tried to make yourself cum after your last encounter with the boys last week. The week before was so easy, you were able to make yourself cum in no time and practically whenever you wanted thanks to the boys (and the memory of their pretty moans). 

But now, everytime you start to get close your head, of course, wanders to the sight of Steve’s cock shoved down Eddie’s throat. A sight which would have had you cumming in 30 seconds in the past but instead it just raises those awful thoughts of how much more fun they seemed to have without you. How much easier it was for them to just have fun together without having to worry. How it must be so boring with you. 

You admit your defeat, getting yourself dressed and dramatically flopping back into bed. Your mind swims with a billion thoughts. You’re nervous about seeing them again tomorrow, even more so because of how weird the morning after was.

Something was off. Mainly with Eddie, you couldn’t put your finger on what but he just didn’t seem like the overly flirty, annoyingly confident, super sweet guy he usually was. Steve had noticed it too, finally asking Eddie what his deal was. 

“Just tired I guess,” he’d replied with a shrug, “Didn’t completely pass out like you two, I mean I only got to cum once last night.” He had joked, with not enough enthusiasm in his voice. 

You remember slumping in your seat, thinking of how much more fun he would have had if you weren’t so tired, maybe you could’ve made him cum again, or made him cum harder if you’d sucked his dick better or if only you could’ve made him cum again as you rode him. 

You push your palms into your eyes. Trying to squeeze the negative thoughts out of your brain. 

It doesn’t help that you never really talked about what to expect tomorrow. You’d tried to bring it up and Steve had seemed keen to talk about it but the conversation never really went anywhere. The idea of the next time being you losing your virginity had been floated around but nothing had really been decided. But they hadn't said no. 

The nerves of losing my virginity tomorrow, maybe, must just be getting the better of me, you decided. Yes you're obviously less experienced than them but they knew that from the start. They knew what it was going to be like with you and they agreed, they wanted this. 

A thought you’d been reasoning with all week. One that at least seems to help you finally get some rest. A thought that seems to be overcome by your insecure thoughts as soon as you wake up. 

You finally close your eyes, sleep slowly pulling you in as you hold on to one thing: Surely they’d tell you if they weren’t enjoying it anymore, right?

*****

Steve jumps into Eddie’s van with an extra pep in his step, overly excited to spend another fun night with his two favourite people. He greets Eddie with an excited hey man, but only gets a grunt of a hey in return. 

“Whoa, what's up with you, cranky pants?” Steve teases, face turning serious when Eddie doesn’t reply, instead keeping his eyes strained on the road. 

“Hey, Eddie,” he tried again, softer this time, worry evident in his voice, “talk to be babe, what's wrong?” 

Eddie doesn’t miss how Steve calling him babe sets butterflies off in his stomach. Butterflies that die and wither in the depths of his chest when he thinks about what he’s about to say next. 

“It’s just… all wrong,” Eddie whispers, the right words not coming to him. 

“What's ‘all wrong’?” Steve replies, tone serious and soft as he places his hand on Eddie’s shoulder, waiting patiently as Eddie tries to gather his thoughts. 

“Just this whole arrangement, it’s… just not how it was supposed to go.” Eddie tries to explain, hoping Steve won’t make him say it. 

“I understand, it’s moving too fast huh?” Steve tries, thinking he’s understanding what Eddie means. 

“Yeah I mean, I guess.” Eddie sighs, Steve’s just not quite getting it, “I just wanted things to be different with her and w-with you.” 

Eddie holds his breath, hoping Steve is understanding now. 

“I understand Eddie,” Steve whispers, “just tell her how you feel, I’m sure she won’t mind.”

“Really?” Eddie asks, he thought Steve would be more upset about him wanting to stop, “You’re sure she won’t be mad?”

“Of course not Eddie!” Steve replies, “ Trust me she won’t mind”. I mean what’s another week Steve thinks… still not quite getting what Eddie means. 

***** 

You race to the door like you always do, excited to see your boys but also nervous that if you don’t get this over and done with you’ll end up pretending you aren't home. The nerves from last night still swimming around in your head. 

As you open the door you throw yourself into Steve’s arms as he was closest to the door, him returning the hug with  the same enthusiasm. However when you go to hug Eddie it feels like you’re hugging a brick wall. You step back from him awkwardly, looking at the way too forced smile on his face.

“Hey, are you okay?” You ask sweetly, and god it almost kills him, knowing you have no idea what's about to come. 

“Yeah, fine.” He says unconvincingly. He’s about to tell you but it seems wrong, he needs a second to collect himself first. “Just, um, need to go to the bathroom.” He grumbles at himself, slightly shoving past you and down the hall. 

You look at Steve, confused. 

“Is he okay?” You ask. 

“Yeah he’s alright, he um, we just need to talk to you honey.” He says sweetly, too sweetly, and with a hint of condescension. 

Oh no.

Your mind goes full throttle on all of the horrible insecure thoughts you’ve been having for the past week. We need to talk. You knew it, you knew they were sick of you!

Okay, okay, you tell yourself, it’s probably nothing, just hear them out. Trying your best to try and calm down before you have a full blown panic attack. 

Steve can tell you’re getting nervous, he’s about to lead you over to the couch, reassure you, he’ll you can’t down so you can all talk about this calmly but Eddie comes back before he has a chance. 

“This needs to stop.” Is all Eddie says as he enters the room, arms crossed over his chest and a stern look on his face. 

When those words leave Eddie’s lips you feel weirdly calm, you were right, they are sick of you. All of the insecure voices stop, why would you need them now anyway when they were right all along. 

You just scoff at him, mirroring his body language. 

“J-just for like the week though right?” Steve asks, confused, this isn’t what he thought Eddie meant in the car. 

“No,” Eddie replies, “I mean for good.”

Steve is surprised and a bit hurt, but if Eddie isn’t comfortable doing this anymore then yes they should probably stop. 

They both look at you, waiting for your reaction. 

“I fucking knew it,” you finally reply with a roll of your eyes. 

“You knew it?” Eddie replies with some malice in his voice, confused as to why this is your reaction. He didn’t want to hurt you but he had hoped there was some part of you that was as upset about this stopping as he was. 

“Yeah. I knew you guys were getting fucking bored, I could tell cause you were using your porn star ‘acting’ on me”. Okay, ouch, that was maybe too far. But right now you didn’t care. How could you care when the two people you cared about most were standing in front of you and telling you all the horrible things you had been thinking were true. 

They don't want you. 

“Pornstar acting?” Eddie practically spits. 

“Yeah,” you continue, on a roll now and being consumed by your anger, “I could tell you were faking it; you’re both not that good.” 

They both look at you, shocked and a little hurt. You start to feel bad but before you can apologise Eddie opens his big mouth again. 

“Yeah? Well you didn’t seem to be complaining about our ‘pornstar acting’ when you were fucking screaming our names.” 

“Eddie,” Steve tries, trying to stop this before it gets too out of control, but Eddie interrupts him. 

“Besides, do you think anyone else would do this with you? Who else would’ve taken care of you like how I’ve had to all these years?” His anger completely taking over at your completely unfair reaction. 

“I knew it!” You practically scream, “I knew you resented having to ‘take care of me’ all those years in highschool! I wish you never had then!” You mean that you wish Eddie wouldn't have if he was just going to resent you for it, but to Eddie it sounds like you wish you hadn’t been friends for all these years, that you regret his friendship. 

“Oh really?” Eddie retaliates, “Who were you gonna hang out with instead? King Steve?” 

Steve looks at Eddie in shock, how is any of this his fault? 

You scoff at him again, “At least I wouldn't have had to hang out with the freak.”

That statement shoots right to Eddie’s heart, completely ripping it to shreds. He was right, he really was just a third wheel, this whole time. No wonder you were so nervous to hang out with Steve all those years ago. He was a fool to think that maybe he had a chance, you were friends for all of highschool, if you wanted him you would have made a move, gave some sort of indication you felt the same, but you never did.

“Yeah and Steve and his fuckwits were better?” He asks, expression cold and unforgiving. 

“At least I wouldn’t have been bullied everyday.”

“Yeah you would’ve been the bully!” Eddie shouts. 

Steve, having been silent in shock this whole fight finally pipes up at that, hurt and anger running cold through his veins as well, “Whoa whoa, that’s not fair, we weren’t bullies?!”

“Yes you were!” Eddie and you shout at the same time. 

“You and your whole group made my life awful,” you add, just to add to the pain from you that Steve was already feeling. 

There's silence that seems to stretch on for eternity. You and Eddie are breathing heavily, angry at everyone and especially yourselves. Steve feels like he's standing on the outside, he’s tried for years to get rid of his reputation from highschool, he thought you and Eddie understood that. 

“Don’t try to stand here and say that the only reason you never got fucked in highschool was because you hung out with me,” Eddie finally breaks the silence.

“That was all you baby,” Steve mumbles, eyes cast downward, the baby coming out like an insult. 

What would he know? You think angrily.  

“God I'm so sorry for having standards Steve and not wanting to be another one of your conquests or something.” 

“Well at least you wouldn’t have been a fucking virgin in your twenties.” He spits back at you. 

Too far Eddie thinks, his anger now being directed towards Steve, as if he knew what it was like for you and him during high school, “Oh yeah, and being one of the many girls you fucked and got rid of is better?” 

Of course, Steve rolls his eyes, he can dish it out to her but as soon as I say one thing i'm the bad guy he thinks 

“You're just pissed ‘cause you never made a move.” 

‘Made a move’? What does Steve even mean by that? It's stupid, you know it is, but there's a little part of you that perks up at that, some part of your broken heart holds on to just a sliver of hope. Did Eddie want to make a move on you all those years ago? 

“I would never do that.” Eddie says with no emotion, tone final. She's my best friend, she's so much more than that he should have added, but he didn’t. Instead it comes across like he's disgusted. Like the mere thought of ever asking you out makes him want to gag.  

“Wow thanks Eddie, cause you’re such a catch,” you spit back. 

Steve laughs at that, boy he really was wrong, he really felt like such a third wheel this whole time, he really thought you would’ve jumped to date Eddie given the chance but maybe not. 

But of course Steve’s laugh comes across like he agrees, like he also thinks Eddie wouldn’t stand a chance with you. Eddie’s face falls at that. The look on his face making you just as mad with Steve. 

“Don't act like you’re any better,” you retort. Like he wouldn’t have just flirted, seduced, fucked and left you if it wasn’t for Eddie. 

“You’ve always been closer with Eddie! You only barely tolerated me for him.” Steve’s completely taken aback by that, is that how you really felt? All this time while you were one of Steve's closest friends you thought that he only tolerated you?

“That's not true.” He says through a clenched jaw. 

“If it wasn’t for Eddie you would look at me like you look at all the other conquests, remember when we first met and you couldn’t stop flirting?” You ask, tone condescending, Steve does remember, “It was only when Eddie told you to stop that you actually treated me like a person.”

“What and Eddie was treating you like a person this whole time?” Steve shouldn’t say this, god he knows he shouldn’t, “The whole time through high school everyone thought you were fucking, anybody who even dared look at you was met with a deathstare from Eddie. He acted like you were his fucking property.” 

What? You physically recoil backwards at his words. There’s no way anyone thought that right? You feel like you’re back in high school, everytime everyone looked at you weird, was that why? Because they thought you were just Eddie Munson’s slut? 

Eddie sees red at Steve’s word and especially the reaction you had to them. “That's bullshit and you know it, Harrington. At least I’m not revelling in the fact that I finally get to fuck a virgin unlike all of those other easy girls you got with.” 

Your head feels like it's spinning, you could be physically sick at their words. Is that a thing? Do people like ‘getting with virgins’? Is that all they saw this as?

“What, so I was just a fetish to you both this whole time?” You mean for it to come out angry but there’s a wobble in your voice, “You’re both fucking freaks.” 

The insult hits harder for Eddie than it does Steve, who’s started to notice the cracks in your anger. Before he can think the words are spilling out of his mouth “At least I’m not a freak who's still a virgin in her twenties, it’s not cool to be such a cocktease at your age.”

That reignites a little bit of anger in you, enough for you to push down the tears that are threatening to fall for a little while longer. “At least I didn't flunk high school and have to become a pornstar in my twenties to get by. Is swinging your dicks around all you two are good at?”

Eddie and Steve look like you just punched them both in the face. They’ve had to deal with a lot of judgement from a lot of people for doing what they do, they’ve both lost friendships and relationships over this. But you were always there for them, the whole time and you never once judged them. Until now.  

“God, you’re such a bitch,” Eddie sighs, shaking his head, “no wonder your last boyfriend dumped you.” 

That. That was it. Right there. The last thing you could handle from them both as a single tear slipped down your cheek. Causing a tiny sliver of regret to wash over Eddie and Steve instantly. 

“Get out,” you say, voice wavering as you try to keep it together, not wanting them to see you cry. 

“What?” They both ask softly. 

“I said get out.” You repeat, slightly more sure of yourself this time, “I don't want to see you, either of you anymore, being your friend has been painful enough.” 

You don't mean to let that last part slip but you can’t stop it. It’s true, having to be so close to them yet so far, having to watch them flirt and go home with other girls, having to listen to their relationship troubles and about all of the films they’ve stared in, it’s been hell. 

You thought you were doing a good job of pushing your feelings down this whole time, but deciding to fool around with them, to maybe lose your virginity to them, it was a mistake. Getting to touch them the way you’ve wanted to for years made all of your feelings arise. Yet you hadn’t realised just how much you were falling for them, not until they were yanked away from you once again. This time further than they had been before. 

Your words don’t convey the emotions you were hoping they would, instead it sounded like you regretted being their friend because you didn’t like them, not because you were falling for them. 

Eddie scoffs, “Don’t act like it’s been any easier for us.” You don’t realise it, but his words hold the same meaning as yours do. But instead, like yours, his words come across as a rejection.

It couldn’t have been easy being friends with someone as shy as you, someone as needy as you, someone who hangs on their every word and someone who is a loser virgin in their twenties is what you think Eddie means. 

The rejection is enough for the dam to finally break, your bottom lip wobbling as you fail to try to stop your tears from flowing freely down your cheeks. Before you can stop yourself a sob rips it way out of you, your arms instinctively wrapping around yourself for some sort of comfort. 

You look so small, helpless and broken, they think. Looking at you, their girl, their y/n, being so distraught because of them, it makes them regret everything. They should've told you no, they should’ve figured out another way for you to lose your virginity, or maybe done it with less emotion. They should’ve stopped themselves from falling so hard for you and each other. 

Eddie rakes his fingers through his hair in defeat. He feels helpless, he’d promised you all those years ago to protect you and he’d failed. He steps toward you slowly, hands out as if you were a scared little animal, and to be honest, you looked like one right now. 

“Little one,” he whispers as he steps closer, hoping the old nickname will bring you some kind of comfort. 

“Don’t.” You snap at him before he gets a chance to say anything else, finally meeting his eyes, the hurt written all over your face, “You don’t get to call me that anymore, I want you to leave.” You manage to say in between sobs. 

“Honey,” Steve tries, both of them hating the thought of leaving you alone when you’re like this. 

“Just get out!” You yell, arms flailing. You look at them both when they don’t move, “Please.” You whisper, eyes begging. You couldn’t bare to be around them for another second. The two people who have always made you calm and happy now just felt like an intrusion in your space. You needed them gone. 

They finally nod, their shoulders slumping in defeat as they slowly make their way to the front door. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen. 

*****

It’s been almost a year now since that night, and just as long since you’ve seen Eddie and Steve.

Taglist: @pxrxcxa @eddiemunsonfuxks @translatemunson @bandofoxxking @corrodedcherry @corrodedhawkins @chainsawmunson @divinelyruled @parkermunson

[baylz]

PROLOGUE: first time

main masterlist | now playing: night shift by lucy dacus

years ago

She didn't know where she was going, and honestly, she didn't care. All she knew was that she just wanted to get away and distract herself. To do whatever it took to numb the ache in her chest and the lump forming in her throat.

She wounded up at a bar. She had it set in mind; she was going to drink her problems away. Forgetting semi, forget Hana, and just forget how she wasted the last 4 years of her life with people who never truly cared for her. But, the minute the bitter, revolting taste of liquor hit her throat, she knew she couldn't down another. And so, she sat.

She had been there a while. Just people watching. She thought that if maybe she couldn't drink away her problems...she could find other ways to disract herself.

Y/n flinched back as her eyes landed on blues one staring back at her from across the bar. He looked around the same age as her and she swears she's seen him around campus before, head down and striding down the halls. Now that she was looking at him directly, he was gorgeous. Hands down. With the way his black frames were perched on his nose so perfectly and the intensity of his gaze as he looked at her. Y/n knew she had found her distraction.

This was a first time in 4 years that she has ever tasted someone else. He was different from Eita. Keiji, as she learn was his name, was different. The hands on her hips were feather-like in the way they held onto her. His kisses were careful as if this had been his first time kissing a girl, but Y/n didn't mind because she was enjoying the moment too much to rush anything. So, she savored it.

The two were currently back in y/n's dorm, Keiji on top and nestled between her thighs. They had discarded their clothing a while ago and now they were just bare, he was free to judge her if he wanted to. Keiji never did though. He simply took his time getting to know the sensitive parts of the girl under him. Her best friend and also roommate, Hana, was no where to be found and she tried to push back the thought of her whereabouts. But, it was difficult to ignore.

She's with Eita, she thought. Y/n couldn't control the hot tears that slid her down her cheeks as she continued to allow herself this. She needed this. She needed him. All she wanted to right now was to feel wanted.

And, Keiji wanted her. She didn't care if it was just for the night. If that was the case, she would not take it for granted. Being with Akaashi felt good. So good she felt guilty for letting her mind wander when all his attention was on her.

He had her spread, hands on each inner thigh to keep her there. The raven haired looked at her as he were asking for permission to continue. y/n nodded, she searched for anything to grip onto. She had eventually settled for his back.

Manicured nails slid down his fair skin as they left faint red lines in there wake at the sudden pressure. “Does it hurt?” He asked, his soft voice fanning against her ear.

"No, keep going."

Many things had led to another and y/n found herself lying next to him hours later. She didn't speak and Keiji made no move to leave either.

"I'm sorry." she muttered. The beautiful stranger turned to look at her, questioningly. "For what?"

"I'm..." What was she sorry for? Being distracted? Crying into his shoulder the whole time when he was nothing but gentle? "I'm not sure. I just feel like I wasn't in the moment than I wanted to be."

“If you don’t mind me asking, does this have to do with a guy?”

She shifted to more a comfortable position. It was impossibly dark at this point of the night so she couldn’t see anything. The only thing reassuring her that Akashi was still there was the warmth his body offered her. Weirdly, she felt okay enough to tell him everything.

“Yeah, I got dumped. He left me for my best friend.” He didn’t say anything, so she continued.

“I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’m mixed between being relieved but also missing him. And, it feels wrong to. To miss him, I mean. I never truly felt like he saw me, you know? For god sakes he never remembered what my favorite flower was.” Y/n was grateful that he couldn’t see her face right now. She choked back a sob and realized how stupid this was. Venting to a stranger and a hookup no less? Leave it to her to make things awkward.

Y/n covered her face out of habit as she felt herself about to cry for the millionth time tonight. “I’m sorry.” She hiccuped, “Don’t feel obligated to stay. You’re free to leave.”

Akaashi remained where he was. “What are your favorite flowers?”

“Tulips. I like Tulips.”

“Okay, I’ll remember that.” He murmured.

The next morning came around and her body was wrapped around something warm. She grumbly lifted her head to see that she was on top of Akaashi, and she stiffened. She thought he would’ve left after she fell asleep, but here he was snoozing peacefully.

She made quick work to get off him, stumbling off the bed to dress herself and eating shit in the process. “What the hell?” She hissed at the pain, and looked at the cause of the fall.

An open journal.

Her brows furrowed, she cautiously eyed the sleeping figure in her bed. Y/n figured he wasn’t going to wake up anytime soon so she picked it up.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Y/n acted on impulse in that moment, grabbing his discarded clothing from off the floor and throwing it at him.

Akaashi jolted upward, ruffling his disheveled hair. “What’s happening?”

“I’m not some sob story you can write about in your stupid diary.” She shouted.

“Wait, what? Ow!” Akaashi didn’t see the book hurdling at his head until it hit him right square on the temple. He quickly shuffled off the bed, shielding himself in case she decided to throw a lamp at him next.

“Get out!” She didn’t give him time to properly dress himself, leading him towards the door and pushing him out into the hallway in just boxers and a shirt.

“Wait, let me explain—”

SLAM!

She turned her back and huffed. “Weirdo.”

NEXT CHAPTER

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[constellationguy]

Another perspective

Episode four

"Text: regular talking

'Text': regular thinking

"Text": Saiki talking telepathically

'Text': Saiki thinking

ATTENTION! You might want to rewatch episode four of The Disastrous Life of Saiki K before reading to fully understand the events.

Previous episode

Summary: Episode 4 in L/N Y/N's perspective.

“To Mister Kusuo Saiki,

I am someone who knows you have psychic powers, but don’t worry. I intend to tell no one about you. I am writing this letter because I want to tell you that I am not your enemy and that I want to be your apprentice. To tell you the truth I also have unique abilities, it is because of those abilities that I came to know about you master.” -Y/N read to Saiki

“He’s already calling me master?” Saiki said confused. “Odd right?” Y/N agreed.

“I’ll come to greet you in person sometime soon.

-sincerely your faithful servant.”

“He’s gone from apprentice to servant. But the real news is there is another psychic out there.”

“I wonder what they’re like,” Y/N mused.

“I should figure out what he’s like before he shows up.” Saiki was clearly worried about this. “Let’s just stop for a moment, I’m sure he’s not too bad Kusuo. How about I go get some coffee jelly and all will be right again, how does that sound?” Y/N said trying to distract Saiki.

“Well sure. But I’m still going to use psychometry to figure this guy out first.” “Fine fine. I’ll be right back-” Y/N started to walk down the stairs but was interrupted by the door bell.

“Wow! Your house is really normal!” The new guy spoke to Saiki.

“This is too soon” both Saiki and Y/N thought.

“Ah sorry. Where are my mannors? My name is Reita Toritsuka. And it’s a pleasure to meet you master!”

‘Am I just gonna be ignored again, guess his manners don’t go very far.’ Y/N thought less than impressed.

“Let’s see, I’m 16 years old… Ah! But you know all that because you can read my mind.” Toritsuka continued.

“Anyway, feels like I know you! I’ve heard so much about you from people! Well from dead people, did I forget to mention that part.” He said bashfuly.

“See! I told you ghosts were real!” Y/N hit Saiki lightly as they teased.

“You can’t see spirits master?” Toritsuka asked.

“Not unless you’re one,” Saiki replied coldly.

“Oh good for you. I see about 15 right now.”

“Really? That sounds like a lot. What, are they having a party?”

“Nothing draws a crowd of spirits like a psychic. Their curious! There’s an old lady hanging out up in that corner there. And right next to you is a guy bouncing his bare butt. But forget about that! The reason I’m here is I want to be your apprentice!”

“Wait he’s doing what with his butt now?”

“Ya I feel weirded out, I’m leaving,” Y/N said walking around Toritsuka on the floor. ‘Oh no you’re not.’ Saiki communicated to Y/N before his bedroom door slammed on its own. Y/N just excepted their fate and started to lean on the side of Saiki’s chair.

“Don’t worry it’s totally harmless,” Toritsuka reassured. “Harms my peace of mind.”

“Oh looks like he’s gone now,” ‘Nope he’s rubbing his butt on his face’ Since Saiki made it so they could also hear Toritsuka’s thoughts, they didn’t know whether to snort at Saiki’s misfortune or move away from him.

“You know I hear your thoughts right?” “I’m sorry but I don’t really have any control over these guys,” Toritsuka admitted.

“You’re a psychic medium, can’t you just “begone!” or something?” Saiki replied unimpressed. “That, or can’t you just tell them to act respectfully is someone else’s home?” Y/N asked equally unimpressed.

“Ya well my abilities are pretty much limited to seeing ghosts. And talking to them.”

‘Ya! And why don’t you talk to them now?! Is he really that unconvincing?’ Y/N thought annoyed at being continuously ignored.

“I’ve had this gift since birth, when I was born into a temple.”

‘From birth? We’re the same in that manner’ Saiki thought.

“When I was little, I couldn’t tell the difference between people and ghosts. Then my beloved grandma told be, spirits can’t take on physical forms so that’s a good way to identify them. I was so relieved, I went to give her a hug, and that’s when I discovered… grandma was a ghost.”

“That’s dark,” Saiki replied.

“Ya, I was pretty bummed, but then grandpa came to cheer me up, except he was a ghost too. After that I started hugging people at random. A lot of people thought I was being creepy and gross, but really I-I was just trying to make sure they were alive.”

“That sketchy grin says otherwise,” “Agreed” Y/N said.

“When it comes to powers I really drew the short end of the stick, it’s more of a burden than a gift with no upsides.”

“That’s not true. By communicating with the dead, think of all the people you’d could bring closure to.” Saiki said, trying to be helpful.

“Ya but is there any way I can get rich off of it?” Toritsuka asked a little vindicated.

“Oh dear” “Ah, Gotcha.” Y/N and Saiki replied.

“When I heard about you from my ghost friends, I knew I had to meet you. He said there was a guy with all kinds of powers like telepathy, x-ray vision, teleportation, clairvoyance, and psychokinesis.”

“But you still cared more about the lady’s bath didn’t you,” Saiki frowned looking back on Toritsuka’s memory.

“Please Saiki, make me your apprentice and teach me your me how to do all of your tricks, I’m begging you!”

“Even if I could teach you these abilities, you’d just use them to do gross stuff right?”

“Look, I’m not gonna lie to you because I respect you and also because you can read my mind and would know that I was lying. To be honest, I mostly just want to see through girl’s clothes and predict lottery numbers. Tell me is that so wrong?!”

“That was too honest,” “I mean maybe but I kinda respect that,” Y/N thought allowed, still a bit grossed out.

“I think clairvoyance could help me with peeping too. Plus I want to lift girl’s skirts with psychokinesis and teleportation…..” Toritsuka’s words faded out ask Saiki started to talk to Y/N

‘But these powers don’t work how they think. People’s voices flood into your head constantly. You see through things too well and can’t touch anything without gloves on.’

“You have no idea how hard it is. Being a psychic is suffering.” Saiki stated harshly.

“Uh! Guess I should be going now!”

“Don’t tell anyone about this okay?”

“But can I come and see you again?”

“Just get out of here alread-” Saiki paused while grabbing Toritsuka, his face then fell in shock.

“Uh master? Master? Is something wrong?”

“Well, I guess we’re both suffering.”

After Toritsuka left Saiki had to ask Y/N a question.

“Can I sleep over at your house tonight?,” Saiki asked still shaken up.

“Sure, whatever you want. I don’t mind preparing dinner for another person, let’s go.” Y/N replied placing a comforting hand on Saiki’s back.

—————————————————————————

“Did you hear about the cool new transfer student from the class next door?” “Really?”

“Oo could you tell me about your guardian spirit is like?” “She looks like a noblewoman. And she’s stunningly beautiful, just like you are,” “oh stop it!” “Do me next!”

“Uh, Master!” Toritsuka lifted his head up at the noise and saw Saiki at the door.

‘Could this be anymore cliché?’ Saiki thought annoyed. ‘I hope not,’ Y/N replied. Saiki then grabbed Toritsuka and brought him to the bathroom.

“Hey. Change schools.” Saiki said harshly.

“Hold on a sec! Chill out. Why are you so upset? Didn’t I tell you I’ll be transferring to your school?” Toritsuka sounded scared.

“No.”

“I assumed you’d know, with you being a psychic,”

“Wrong.”

“Oh I get it. Are you worried I’m gonna tell people about your powers master?”

“First, quit calling me master.”

“I won’t tell anyone, I swear.”

CRASH. Then Y/N could hear the toilet flushing.

‘Don’t worry, I could barely hear you from beyond the door,’ Y/N thought while walking beside Saiki ‘Good.’ Saiki replied.

“I feel like a kid who just got beaten up by the school bully on his first day. You know I don’t get why you’d rather hide your powers. If you showed off what you can do you’d get so much attention.”

“Ya that’s where it goes wrong, Kusuo gets enough of dealing with people just from me.” Y/N commented.

“I guess it’s kinda creepy to know someone’s peaking into your brain. Wait hold on. Forget brains, you can peak at other body parts too right? Wow. So that means you can see all the girls naked anytime that you want. Go my god! Oh?” Toritsuka then made a shocked blushing face as Teruhashi passed by.

“Wow. Who’s that beautiful angel that just glided past us?”

“That’s Teruhashi. She just walked by you for no reason whatsoever. You should thank her.” Saiki said a little amused.

“Did you see all the nooks and crannies on her body?! Come on give me some details here!”

“Please don’t be weird.” “Gross, man” Y/N and Saiki replied.

“Look there he is!” A group of girls then surrounded Toritsuka.

“You see guardian spirits right?” “Tell me about mine!” “Well Saiki, I guess just can make do with this.”

“Ladies ladies, I’ll get to all of you! One at a time!”

“Hey, so what is a guardian spirit?”

“Just like it sounds, a spirit that always watches over and protects you.”

“Cool! So can you tell me who mine is?”

“Your spirit, is a samurai! Who looks like he can really keep you safe.” “Wow!”

“Yours is a fancy lady from Europe or somewhere else with lots of blond people.” “Really?”

“Me next! Do me!” “Yours is, ah! Um, he’s like a bard maybe? Could be from France.” Toritsuka couldn’t hide his off put face. “Oh my!” “He might be in his mid-twenties. Has long hair, and he’s really handsome.” He was clearly terrible at lying.

“Hey! Tell me about mine” “ya, me too,” “no me first!” A group of boys asked Toritsuka.

“Alright ladies, who else wants to talk to me?”

“Hey what about us?!” Y/N doesn’t blame the guys for being curious, they were curious about theirs too but didn’t really want it ask.

“Uh let’s see now. Old dude, old hag, old hag, really old hag. Now yours is!”

“At least pretend to care!” Takahashi exclaimed.

“Ah!” “Have him check yours Hairo.” “No, I don’t have to.” “Oh man, your guardian spirit’s incredible. He’s an intensely passionate man. He plays tennis. He’s got boundless energy! I think that maybe his name is!”

“He’s not dead yet.” Saiki interjected.

“Guardian spirit? Sounds dumb. But still. Supposed it’d be rude not to hear you out. So tell me about mine or whatever, don’t care.”

‘He totally cares.’

“Your guardian spirit… oh wow, it’s kind of abnormal.”

‘Huh?! What does that mean? Is it some sort of demon? Or monster? Or dark spirit?’ “So what is it not that I care-”

“A chihuahua.” Toritsuka said bluntly.

“Chihuahua?! How dare he insult me like that! This guy’s a fraud!”

“Hey now what’s going on here a festival?”

“Now here’s someone abnormal.”

“New guy says he can see guardian spirits, but he lies!” Kaido said, still hurt.

“Oh cool! What’s that?”

“Now now, no pushing. Just wait your turn.”

“Hey! What’s my guardian spirit?”

‘Nendo’s guardian? Now that I’m curious about’ ‘same here’ Y/N thought.

“Okay, let’s see. Your is a politician” “what really?”

“Oh denied,” Saiki said and Y/N chuckled.

“Gotta say, I’m really happy I transferred to this school.” “Hey what’s my guardian spirit?” “I can already tell that I’m gonna have an awesome time here.” “What’s my guardian spirit?”

“Say Saiki, wanna hear about your guardian spirit Saiki?” “What’s my guardian spirit?”

“Me? I couldn’t care less, but tell him what his is because he’s getting really annoying.” “What’s my guardian spirit?” Nendo continued to whisper ask.

“AH JUST SHUT UP! I’VE TOLD YOU NOT TO FOLLOW ME AROUND EVERYWHERE, I HATE YOU!”

“Woah, what got into you?” Toritsuka then suddenly hit Nendo with his bag. Perplexed when it hit Nendo, he grabbed his face.

“WHAT YOUR NOT A GHOST?!”

“HAHHAHAHAHHA” Y/N burst out laughing, clutching their sides at Toritsuka’s amazement.

“You really didn’t know?”

“But all this time he’s bene following us, you’ve never once acknowledged his presence, I thought you couldn’t see him!!!”

“Hey what was that all about?!”

“No way! ITS TRUE I SEE AN OLD HAG BEHIND HIM!”

“So it’s true, he really can’t tell the difference between the living and the dead. Psychic mediums sure have it rough,” Saiki commented.

“Hey Saiki theirs something I’ve got to show you. But you’ll have to touch me using your psychometry power, okay? I think when you see this, you’ll understand why I was so confused before.”

“Ooo touch me too, I wanna see!” Saiki then put his hand on Toritsuka’s shoulder and Y/N touched the back of Saiki’s hand.

“Is that?”

“Allow me to introduce my guardian spirit.” It just so happened to be Nendo’s dad…

“I’m sorry, you really do have it rough.”

“Now that’s some misfortune…” Y/N said while snickering.

“Why did you touch Saiki? Couldn’t you see my guardian spirit anyway?” Toritsuka asked Y/N.

“Huh? No, why do you say that?” Y/N asked confused.

“Hold on…” Toritsuka then put a hand on Y/N’s shoulder.

“You’re real?!”

“Uh, ya? They’ve been here the whole time…”

“I genuinely thought they were your guardian spirit.” Toritsuka said to Saiki a little embarrassed.

“Well isn’t that quaint. Just think about that Kusuo, me watching over you your whole life. Not to far off from the truth now is it,” Y/N beamed. Saiki took a moment to think about this but didn’t respond.

“Sorry again about ignoring you…” Toritsuka said meekly.

“Oh don’t worry about it. You’ve provided me with some good entertainment today, just don’t keep doing it alright?” Y/N reached out their hand to shake Toritsuka’s.

“Sure” he smiled back.

“But quick question… are you a boy or a girl?”

Y/N chose to not let that get to them and just laughed.

—————————————————————————

Y/N was watching as a girl was carrying a heavy box, they were waiting until she would either trip or have to take a break. Obviously they would have helped if she tripped but they had to get their entertainment from somewhere right?

However, just as the girl tripped, Hairo caught her.

“Woah. You okay? This is heavy, where you taking it?” “The teacher’s lounge.”

“But! First I want you to bring it this far. We can only get stronger by pushing past our own limits! Come on! Great job, don’t give up, keep going you can do it!”

“Good hustle” he replied when the girl gave him the box.

“Now it’s time to push myself. I’m gonna carry it the rest of the way while doing bunny hops!”

“Oh! Hairo’s hoping like a bunny” “we should hop along with him!” “We don’t have stuff to carry but we can pretend!” “Ya!”

“AAAAAA, IM COMING FOR YA TEACHERS LOUNGE!” Hairo screamed.

“Is all that really necessary? I know the last time I was near Hairo I found it entertaining but this is a little much” Y/N said to Saiki.

“As hard as he is on others, he’s harder on himself. I don’t hate him as a person, but the two of us probably wouldn’t mix very well.” Saiki commented back.

“Hey Saiki, L/N! Did you know that scientists say that the average person sweats about 300mls every night while they’re sleeping?”

“You’re telling me why?” ‘Why is this thought relevant’ Saiki replied and Y/N thought.

“Well the school’s sports day is coming up and I’m working on building the entry gate for it right now. Kudo was supposed to be helping but then he when and came down with a cold. Really it’s almost done, all we have to do is connect the arch to the pedestals. So if you would just give me a hand…” Hairo paused as he opened the door and saw that the arch was destroyed.

“PEDESTAL?! YOU WERE STANDING JUST FINE YESTERDAY! HEY! COME ON GET UP!”

“Pep-talks don’t work on pedestals. By the way, this is more than we can fix ourselves so I’m gonna go now” Saiki commented at Hairo’s hysteria. Y/N also tried to follow Saiki out of the room before Hairo spoke to them again.

“Saiki we can do this! If we work fast we’ll finish before the last train leaves!”

‘Give me a break’ Saiki thought.

“Oh I can’t stay. It’s my turn to make dinner for my family so I really should head home… I’m sorry I couldn’t stay Hairo.” Y/N only lied a little to Hairo, in truth they knew that sports day was a month away so they didn’t want to waste time helping Hairo.

“Oh! That’s fine I guess, you can help us with something else another day!” Hairo said back a little disappointed.

“You got it!” Y/N gave Hairo a smile and a thumbs up, then left Kusuo and Hairo to deal with the arch way.

Once Saiki was done with helping Hairo he stopped by Y/N’s house before going home.

“Oh hey Kusuo! I’m sorry it took so long…” Y/N said feeling a little guilty for leaving him.

“Ya him and me don’t mix. I’m gonna raid your fridge for sweets in exchange for you ditching me and leaving me alone with him.” Saiki said while walking to the kitchen.

“What?! Oh, fine. I guess that’s fair,” Y/N sighed.

————————————————————���————

Y/N was reading on their sofa for most of the day. Their parents were at coworkers wedding so they left Y/N home alone. The day was leisurely and calm, maybe a little hot but that was nothing a fan couldn’t fix. Y/N briefly saw Nendo from outside their window headed to Saiki’s house but they didn’t worry about it and continued doing their thing.

—————————————————————————

“What Minako dumped you?!” “Hey keep it down”

“So you’re signal again?” “Welcome back!”

Y/N could not help but over hear conversations about breakups and love life’s being on the rocks. And they noticed that the way Yumehara was starring Kusuo that her relationship probably wasn’t going well either…. that or she was a cheater, probably not best to think your classmate is like that but at least it’s an interesting dynamic.

“So this guy’s Takeru?” Saiki said while spying on the guy. “I guess so, he seems rather normal, he’s got friends and such… I don’t understand why Yumehara would-”

“Ah!” “Are you okay?” Takeru’s jaw got dislocated while he was laughing.

“Ya, I’m fine, my jaw just got dislocated sorry.” “No we’re sorry for making you laugh…”

“That really is a buzzkill.” Saiki said. “Sure, but I’m sure there is something about him that could keep Yumehara tied to him, right?” Y/N responded worriedly.

“Oh hey Takeru, how’s everything been going with your girlfriend lately?” “Great!”

“Nope. Wrong answer.” ‘Oh dear’ Y/N thought exasperated.

“He thinks this is going great?” Saiki asked generally while spying on Yumehara and Takeru.

“I mean if he’s that oblivious then maybe there’s no helping them. If you really wanna try to keep them together, give it a shot. Just tell me what happens later, I’ll have coffee jelly waiting at my house for you. See ya Kusuo,” Y/N could already tell that it was helpless but they also knew Saiki would tell them everything he tried to do to keep them together later.

In Y/N’s book if Kusuo failed at keeping them together, they would still get the story and they would be there to comfort Kusuo with coffee jelly later. A win, win really. So Y/N walked home alone and waited for Kusuo to come home and spill the beans about Yumehara and Takeru’s relationship.

Just before dinner Saiki finally showed up at the L/N residence.

“So? How’d it go?” Y/N asked. Saiki didn’t respond, he just sat next to Y/N on the couch and collapsed onto their shoulder.

“That bad huh?” Y/N asked while starting to play with the hairs on the back of Kusuo’s neck.

“Her like-ability scare for him was up to 95. She could have married him! But as soon as they went to Okonomiyaki for dinner she saw all the things that she hated about him. His like-ability shot down to 0 in an instant.” Kusuo complained as he got more comfortable leaning onto Y/N.

“Ouch. Well, how about you stay the night so we can watch movies and eat all the coffee jelly we want to take your mind off of things?” Y/N asked Kusuo as they started to massage his scalp.

“Sure. I’ll go grab the coffee jelly and you can pick the movie.” Saiki said while getting up.

“How about you go change out of your uniform first? It’s not really made to be relaxed in,” Y/N joked.

“Fine. But I’m taking one of my hoodies that your stole from me.” Saiki joked back.

“Alright, I’ll be waiting here,” Y/N said and smiled warmly as Saiki went up the stairs.

—————————————————————————

Next episode

[dream-thief-forever-amen]

I love that the “hero” is still the absolute worst in season 2.

Let us explore the evidence.

Spoilers below:

1. Does not get on the plane to be a father to his child… his supposed motivation to earn money in the first place. Even when he has billions. In fact he’s become even more distant and unreliable, not even communicating with her any longer.

2. Promises to care for that girl’s younger brother but dumps him off on an old woman without explanation and a bag of cash. Continues to watch this old woman raise this random kid while working her old bones off in an outdoor market. Just like he watched his own mother work herself to death to care for his fully grown butt.

3. Does not use his considerable fortune to get the kid’s mom out of North Korea - just does the bare minimum with one broker.

4. Hoards his wealth to pursue his private obsession. Spends two years wasting away in his private hobby hotel and still does not have a solid plan or even good ideas about how to handle the murder island - and has not attempted to outsource this large problem to others better equipped to solve it.

5. Still has not realized the old man’s gamble at the end of season one with the homeless man only required that HE go down and help the dude or go down and get someone else to work with him to help the dude instead of just watching and hoping something would happen (This is arguably the theme of the show).

6. Gets back into the game but does not tell a single soul it’s a murder machine until AFTER they have all signed up, been photographed, and marched onto the field to be slaughtered.

7. Did not check in on or help his friend from season one, even though they were still in the same city and his friend was struggling. Now that poor sod is also in the game.

8. Doesn’t make his impassioned speech to convince others not to continue the game after round one - nope, not until over half have already voted and his own side is losing.

9. When the majority votes to continue the game, he makes no attempt to try to reason with or plead with those who voted to stay, even though they only lost by a narrow margin. The entire group stays divided and refuses to work together. Ironically it is two characters from the other, majority side who make a point to reach out to him. One of them shares his personal story of why he voted the way he did - swaying hearts and minds - which is ironically what our “hero” should have done. Except he doesn’t have a sad story of circumstances - he is the sad story.

10. Later our male lead finally thinks it’s time to perhaps attempt to sway some hearts and minds and is instantly talked out of it cause it might stir up trouble… in the murder game… the irony…

11. The completely haphazard plan to take over the facility by disarming the uniformed guards. Even though he knew they were outnumbered, there is surveillance everywhere, and he had zero plan of what to do next. Leaving the majority of his “team” to fend for themselves (and be murdered) while he secured the strongest among them to hide in wait.

HE IS THE WORST.

Is it a case of being your own worst enemy, of mental illness, of selfishness, stupidity? Is it soupical tendencies born from disappointments? Is it just in our DNA?

I don’t know. But I do think this show has gone to great lengths to show us repeatedly that the male lead is someone who doesn’t know how to care for others.

His sweet daughter loves him dearly but you could already see she was old enough to be disappointed in him. There was pity there too.

Money can’t change your bad habits or your crap personality.

This man didn’t even invest his money so that at least the interest could fund a few orphanages or homeless shelters in perpetuity. Nope, he’s got it sitting around on a mattress.

I also find it interesting how many older women are still trying to raise fully grown men in this show. The male lead’s mom. The mother of his dead friend who our male lead tosses another son onto. The mom contestant in season 2. There’s too many for it not to be commentary.

I’m glad we have shows like this though. Cause there are no easy answers. This island is just a symptom of a larger problem, one that can’t be fought alone. It will take many heads coming together to even start to unravel the mess we are in.

Anyways… looking forward to the finale. I would not be surprised if our lead male becomes a new commander of the games at the end.

[under-the-dirt]

whispers.

HIIIII i just ate dinner #i also showered the other night which was super difficult #doing better but anyways this is a continuation of this and i might turn this into a full series who knows! the whispers series does sound cool asf. anyways, i feel drunk although the last time i drank was new year’s a few years ago (to my knowledge) but wtv

taglist: @mechmoucha @cloudyeventss

pairing: john price x fem!reader (no gendered pronouns, only like names eg. beautiful or lass)

tags: john price is so sexy, fingering, military inaccuracies, cum eating ig? john price smut, forced proximity, i can’t write accents, UNDER 13 DNI RAH

To say the next few weeks were awkward was an understatement. Every time you’d see Price around the base, you’d find yourself blushing and running off to do something else. He must’ve gotten tired of it, because the next time you were on a mission you were paired up with Price.

You guess it was a decent pairing, Gaz and Soap, You and Price. Except for the fact you could barely look at him, let alone have to share a safe house. He stood guard behind you while you worked on getting into the camera system to ensure Gaz and Soap’s safety.

“Soap, how copy?” You ask through the radio, hearing static before Soap’s smooth accent rang through.

“All good down here, same with Gaz. Splitting up now,” He replies, and you smile as you finally get into the camera systems, watching Gaz and Soap split up and go different directions.

“Alright, I’ve got a visual. Gaz, you’re going straight til’ the first right, then to the second door on the left. There will be a couple of hostiles, nothing you can’t handle,” You explain, and the static begins again before Gaz replies quickly.

“Roger that.”

“Good. Soap, you’re going straight until the second left then to the first door on the right. You should only have one man in there. Both of you radio silence unless there’s a problem, let me know when you’re there.”

“Sir yes sir,” Soap chuckles, and you watch both the men traverse the halls.

“What’s next?” Gaz asks, and your eyes widen slightly in surprise before quickly recovering.

“There should be a couple computers in there. Go to the ones in the back, plug in a USB to the 4 on the top row, and let me know once the intel has been fully downloaded. Soap, how copy?”

“Not good,” Is the brief response you get, and on the cameras you can see a group of men swiftly approaching him.

“Broom closet to your right, get in and stay quiet. Gaz, hurry up,” You tried to keep your words steady and calm, but you knew they probably picked up on the little bit of panic in them. When you saw more men marching towards Gaz, you knew you had to get them out of there. “Gaz, about 10 hostiles approaching. Take those USBs and get out of there.”

You shook your leg nervously as you watched Gaz grab the USBs and try and leave, being met with multiple hostiles. You stopped breathing entirely when you heard the gunshots, not daring to look. Price gently placed his hand on your shoulder.

“Soap, get your ass out of there!” Price yells into the radio, and you can hear the sounds of shuffling feet. It wasn’t until Price began rubbing your shoulder to assure you the men were okay did you open your eyes. They were uninjured, sure, but they were being chased by at least 20 hostiles.

You lost sight of them as they hopped onto the helicopter for exfil. There was no chance of you and Price getting on it, despite how close you were. It had already taken off.

“Shit,” You sigh. You tapped out of the cameras and walked to another room to take a breather.

A couple minutes later, price knocked on the doorway. “Good news ‘s we’re not trapped ‘ere. Bad news ‘s the base ‘s clogged up, and they can’t get a heli out ‘ere til’ tomorrow,” He says, and by his tone you can tell there’s more.

”And the worst news?”

“There’s no tea.”

“Not to quote soap, but Fuckin’ brits,” You laugh softly. “What is it?”

“There’s only one bed.”

“Oh,” You sigh, and shake your head. “I can take the floor.”

Price walks out, and you’re left to your own devices until the sun begins to set and you feel exhaustion begin to settle deep in your bones. Taking this as a sign to get ready for bed, you hop up and walk to the bedroom, where price is sitting on the bed in a t-shirt and his green cargo pants. God, that outfit made him look so good.

“‘S rude to stare, lass,” He purrs, chuckling softly.

“Oh, sorry,” You quickly look away and begin stripping your extra gear, all that which you hadn’t previously. You were now in a tank top and black cargos, and you shivered slightly. You definitely underestimated how cold it got at night here. “Is there any extra blankets?”

“Not that I can find,” He shrugs, tossing you an extra pillow. You fake it and toss it onto the floor beside the bed, curling up to preserve warmth as you close your eyes and try to fall asleep. You hear Price flick the lights off and climbs into the creaky bed. You shiver. “Cold?”

“Very.”

“C’mere, lass,” He coos, pulling the covers away from himself and inviting you into his arms. After a little hesitation, you crawl into his arms and press yourself to his chest. He wraps his arms around you, and his body heat warms you up far better than any amount of blankets could. But still, it’s terribly cold, and not even the living furnace that is John Price can warm you up fully. “Still cold?”

You nod. “It’s alright though, I can manage.”

“No.. Let me help you..” He purrs, running his hand down your side, quickly helping you realize how he means to. He sees no discomfort, so he runs his hand down to tour ass and gives the plump flesh a squeeze.

“Captain..” You sigh, melting into him and his touch, and he hums. His hands caress you gently before sleeping beneath the hem of your pants and panties. He runs a finger through your slick folds, chuckling when he feels the wetness gathered on them.

“Ah, what have we got ‘ere,” He laughs, pressing his thumb to your clit, causing you to let out a hushed moan. “Don’t keep quiet, I wanna hear ya.”

He rubs your clit gently, before pressing a single finger into your wet hole. The stretch of his large finger makes you gasp and rock forward gently, closing your eyes to soak in the pleasure. He hums in approval, gentle thrusting his finger, curling it to rub that spot inside of you that had you arching your back and moaning for more. He obliges, thrusting another thick finger into your desperate cunt.

“Ah- Captain.. God-“ You moan breathlessly, rocking your hips to meet his brutal thrusts. He returns to attacking your g-spot, causing that knot in your stomach you barely noticed to snap and send you toppling over the edge, moaning and gripping his shirt tightly. He rubs your clit gently to let you ride out your orgasm before slowly removing his fingers and sucking your juices off.

“Much better, no?” He chuckles, gently pushing away the hair stuck to your forehead with sweat. Your eyes are already closed as you regain your breath, falling asleep quickly.

The next day you pray that your guilty smile didn’t reveal last nights.. actions. But the odd look flicked at you from Mactavish told you that it hid nothing, and it was written in neon lights exactly what happened. That would be hard to explain.

that was sm fun to write and i can’t wait to see how this series progresses. i’m gonna make a masterlist, comment to be tagged in the next one! <;3 @cloudyeventss

[thatsonemorbidcorvid]

“Every year, about 25,000 (UK) women who give birth — approximately 4 per cent — are so distressed that they meet the diagnostic criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder. That makes birth one of the biggest causes of PTSD in the UK according to the Birth Trauma Association charity – probably coming second only to sexual abuse and rape. Hundreds of thousands more women are traumatised. This is a major health crisis. And yet it is barely discussed…

According to figures from NHS Resolution, the arm of the Department of Health and Social Care that handles litigation, 62 per cent of the total clinical negligence cost of harm in 2022-23 (£6.6 billion) related to maternity.”

When my husband and I left for hospital on a Friday afternoon, we had no idea what would happen. The next few hours would change my life. For good and bad. It had all started with a cervical sweep the day before. I was 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant and, frankly, I’d had enough. My pregnancy had been uncomplicated in terms of my baby — she was healthy throughout, albeit had spent much of her time in the back-to-back position. But I had found the nine months increasingly difficult. From around 20 weeks I’d suffered from pelvic girdle pain, which, for me, meant increasingly agonising pain in my lower back. Walking and other everyday movements became difficult. The only place I felt vaguely comfortable was in water. Swimming was a relief.

Women are offered a sweep to help induce labour. A midwife inserts their finger and sweeps around your cervix. It’s about as basic as you can get. They’re trying to separate the membranes of the amniotic sac that surround the baby from your cervix. This then releases hormones, which may help start your labour. “Some women find the procedure uncomfortable or painful,” NHS guidelines say. I found it excruciating.

“Oh,” the midwife said, as I lay in a rather compromised position. “I might have broken your waters.” This didn’t make sense to me. I’d always assumed that when my waters broke, I’d know about it. Apparently not always, and I was instructed to call the hospital if contractions hadn’t begun within 24 hours as I was now potentially at risk of infection.

They didn’t start. And I did what I’d been asked. The voice on the phone was chirpy — everything sounded fine, stay at home, we’ll be seeing you soon enough. Half an hour later, my phone rang. “Where are you? You’re meant to be at the hospital,” the woman said angrily. I needed to come in immediately to be examined.

It was late Friday afternoon and it was busy. We took the last of the beds in maternity triage. And my waters broke in earnest. That solved the mystery, I suggested. No, I was told, and the water birth I’d hoped for was out of the question — too risky.

Strong and regular contractions started immediately. We were moved to a glorified cupboard that had been turned into a makeshift holding room. I was denied any pain relief because it was “too early”, and told that someone would bring me some paracetamol when they came to “examine” me.

It seems obvious when you think about it, but I had never been told what being “examined” meant. Nor thought about it. It sounds medical. But it’s literally a midwife sticking their fingers inside you. I was 3cm dilated. Plenty of time to go, apparently. It was 9.30pm. I felt sick and in enormous pain. Both were dismissed — until I vomited everywhere. And lost control of my bowels. This would happen several more times over the coming hours. I felt utterly ashamed. Again, it’s common — but I hadn’t been told.

I continued to ask for pain relief and continued to receive none. An hour later, I was 7cm dilated — in full labour — and finally received some paracetamol. There was no space on the labour ward. In just another half an hour, I was fully dilated and ready for the baby to come out. No one seemed to know what to do. The midwives were panicking. And that made me scared. This was my first baby. I didn’t know what to expect. We were rushed to the ward. Already, nothing had gone the way I wanted, or the way it had been talked about at National Childbirth Trust (NCT) classes. Eventually, I was given gas and air to ease the pain. But only for about 20 minutes. Apparently it was “distracting” me too much and I needed to push.

Two hours later there was still no baby and I was in agony. A doctor arrived, took a brief look and said cheerily, “You’re going to be fine. You’re going to get that baby out.” And then he left. My maternity notes state, “PLAN: continue pushing.” I have no idea what this refers to — like so many of my notes. There was no plan. If there was, it wasn’t one I had agreed to. Finally, after another hour the decision was made that the doctor would use a ventouse — a suction cup that sits on your baby’s head — to help deliver my baby. Apparently I consented to this, but I have no recollection of doing so. And I’m ashamed to say I didn’t know what was being asked of me. My doctor didn’t use the word ventouse. He used “Kiwi”, which is a type of ventouse. At the time, I didn’t know what either were.

I remember screaming in pain and then my daughter finally being born. She was placed on my chest for less than a minute. I was examined, told I had a fourth-degree tear that must be repaired and that I needed to sign a consent form for surgery straight away. “Look at the state of her,” my usually mild-mannered husband said. “How can she possibly sign a form?” I couldn’t. The writing on that form is barely legible, but they would not proceed without it.

I had no idea what had happened. I lay in an operating theatre in pain, silent tears rolling down my face. I was frightened. The anaesthetist was amazing and stayed with me while I was repaired. I am so grateful for that, at least. But I also feel guilty about it. It was half past three on a Saturday morning and she was the only anaesthetist on duty at the London hospital. Other women may well not have received the pain relief they needed because of me. “Will I be able to have any more children?” I asked as I stared at the ceiling.

After surgery I was moved to the high dependency unit (HDU) and reunited with my daughter. I finally held and fed her for the first time. That morning is a blur. My notes tell me we stayed in the HDU for five hours before being moved to a ward. It was there that I attempted to understand what had happened to me. I was in pain, barely able to move and soaked in blood. I asked various midwives to explain what had gone on. They repeated that I’d had a fourth-degree tear, but I didn’t know what that meant. One line, in scribbled handwriting, stands out when I look at my notes: “We don’t have any written info about fourth-degree tears.”

Eventually, a midwife appeared with some information they’d printed off after googling it. As I read it, I sobbed. I was 35 years old and thought my life was over; that I would be incontinent. And still no doctor came to explain. The medic who’d delivered my daughter was eventually marched to my bedside more than 48 hours later.

I am perhaps unusual in that I’ve always wanted children. We had done what many middle-class suburban couples did at that time and attended NCT classes. The underlying message of these was: try to avoid a caesarean section at all costs. “Natural” births were best, and even better just to breathe through it. No need for pain relief. I remember in our penultimate class bringing up the subject of tearing during labour. I had seen a TV feature on it that week and it struck me as important. “If most of us are going to tear to some degree, it would be really helpful to talk about that,” I remember saying. “It would be good to know how best to care for ourselves afterwards, that kind of thing.” The answer was no, there was no need. Instead, we proceeded to get on all fours and “moo” like cows and then practise putting nappies on a doll.

Up to nine in ten first-time mothers who have a vaginal birth will experience some sort of tear. The least invasive kind involves only the skin from the vagina and the perineum — the area between a woman’s vagina and anus. These tears usually heal quickly and without any treatment. Second-degree tears involve the muscle of the perineum and require stitches. Third and fourth-degree tears are the most serious. These involve not just tearing of the skin and muscle of the perineum but the muscle of the anus. In fourth-degree tears, the injury can extend into the lining of the bowel. These deeper tears need proper surgical repair under anaesthetic.

I don’t really have any happy memories of the first few days or weeks after we left the hospital. I was completely in love with my baby, but I felt shellshocked. I couldn’t process what had happened and there was no one who offered to help me. A different midwife was sent to our house every couple of days to weigh our daughter. I had no milk the first few days and she had lost a fair bit of weight. Even when my milk came in, I found breastfeeding painful and difficult, in large part because it hurt so much to sit down.

I cried quietly every day for several months. Often it would come completely out of nowhere. I’d be talking or watching television and I would just start to cry. Several midwives wrote in my notes in those early weeks the same phrase: “Mum is anxious.” I don’t think I was. I was traumatised. Several weeks later, I was told that I was “lucky” by the midwife examining my stitches. Apparently the doctors had done a “wonderful” job at repairing me and it looked “beautiful”. I now know that I was fortunate to be repaired properly and immediately after the birth. But the last thing I felt — then or now — was lucky.

After several months I desperately needed to have some control over my life again. I had never felt so helpless, lost and infantilised. But my overarching feeling was anger. I wrote to the chief executive and chair of the hospital to complain and was invited in for a debrief. The head of midwifery was lovely, apologised and followed through on her promise to try to prevent other women facing the appalling lack of communication I had. The hospital now has a specialist perineal health clinic too.

But the attitude of the consultant obstetrician whom I met with my husband floored us both. It was about six months after the birth, but I was still under the care of a consultant urogynaecologist. (I subsequently had two further operations: the first 14 months after giving birth to remove an undissolved stitch that was causing pain but hadn’t been spotted, and another six months after that.) My urogynaecologist had told me not even to consider giving birth vaginally again. The risk was too great, he explained. If I tore again, there was a 30 per cent chance I couldn’t be repaired and I’d be incontinent. The obstetrician said the opposite — don’t rule it out! I saw red. “How dare you,” I growled. I remember saying that he would never be so cavalier about a man’s body.

Every year, about 25,000 women who give birth — approximately 4 per cent — are so distressed that they meet the diagnostic criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder. That makes birth one of the biggest causes of PTSD in the UK according to the Birth Trauma Association charity – probably coming second only to sexual abuse and rape. Hundreds of thousands more women are traumatised. This is a major health crisis. And yet it is barely discussed.

“Birth trauma is a broad term, but generally it’s overwhelming distress that leads to a detrimental impact on well-being,” explains Susan Ayers, professor of maternal and child health at City University in London. Estimates “range massively”, she says, but having conducted research into birth trauma for almost 30 years, Ayers puts it at about a third. “If you ask women whether they thought they or their baby was going to die or be severely injured, then it’s around 19-20 [per cent] in the UK. But if people just ask women, ‘Was your birth traumatic?’ some of those estimates are up to 50 per cent.”

“I’M BEATRICE’S MUM,” EMILY SAID, introducing herself to a committee of MPs in March. “Beatrice died during labour at full term in May 2022.” Emily is one of a number of brave women who have shared their traumatic birth stories with the all-party parliamentary group (APPG) on birth trauma, during the first parliamentary inquiry into this issue.

“As soon as my labour started,” Emily explained, “I knew it wasn’t right, wasn’t normal.” The details are harrowing: a series of obvious but missed red flags and an attitude from medical professionals that can only be described as cruel. The midwife who shrugged her shoulders when Emily’s waters were meconium-stained; the consultant obstetrician who laughed at the “slimy” feel of that meconium while her hand was still inside Emily.

“The ultrasound scanning machine was brought in and showed that Beatrice’s heartbeat had stopped,” she explained. “At that point I begged, pleaded like I’ve never pleaded for anything in my life for a caesarean, and that consultant obstetrician refused. She said no. And she left.”

“It’s destroyed my life,” Emily says now. “I’m not the person I was before.”

This inquiry has been led by the APPG’s co-chairs, the Conservative MP Theo Clarke and Labour’s Rosie Duffield. They received more than 1,200 written submissions after asking women to share their experiences; that number doubles if you count the letters and emails they’ve been sent informally.

“The thing that’s really struck me is there seems to be a taboo around talking about the risk of childbirth,” Clarke tells me when I sit down with both women in Westminster. There shouldn’t be, she adds. “Something we’ve heard from a number of the mothers coming to speak to us is that there’s such a focus on the baby post-delivery, they almost forget there’s a second patient in the room, and that’s the mother.”

“I was constantly told by GPs that I had nothing wrong with me,” one mother, Sarah, told the MPs. She experienced a major tear that doctors and midwives failed to diagnose. “I was discharged two days later with [an] untreated tear, which very quickly led to enormous amounts of pain, incontinence, faecal incontinence and thinking I was going mad.”

“It’s very painful,” explained Jenny, who also experienced a serious tear that was left untreated, “but the long-term consequences of an unrepaired tear are that I had to give up my job. I’ve suffered PTSD, anxiety, depression. My activities are restricted. My life is impacted in that I have to meticulously plan my day around toilets.”

Another mother, Neera, lost three litres of blood and required more than ten hours of life-saving emergency surgery the day her daughter was born. The haemorrhage had not been picked up by staff. She said she is fortunate to have had the “means and support” to access mental healthcare over four and a half years of her five-year-old’s life. “I have personally spent over £6,000 and received more than 50 hours of mental health support,” she told parliament.

The women who have spoken to politicians as part of the inquiry had different medical experiences. But there were obvious similarities. Their concerns and their pain were dismissed. They were not treated with respect or, in some cases, like human beings. They felt helpless, angry and scared. “Nobody really cares about women,” says Kim Thomas, CEO of the Birth Trauma Association. “What we tend to find with most of these stories is there’s failure after failure after failure. Lots of things go physically wrong… and that continues afterwards in the postnatal period with really poor care.” Almost all women seeking out the charity say their experience was made much worse by the way they were treated during labour. “The number of stories we hear of women being shouted at by midwives or laughed at by midwives is quite extraordinary.”

Birth doesn’t have to be this way. And it isn’t for many women. But women, in England in particular, could — and should — be having better experiences than they are.

Let’s start with serious tears. The number one risk factor is being a first-time mum. There’s nothing much that can be done about that. But the next is having an instrumental vaginal delivery — and in particular one that uses forceps. “Data indicates that we use more forceps than other parts of Europe,” says Dr Ranee Thakar, president of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG). While rates in several European countries hover at around 0 per cent, a 2023 study of assisted births in 13 high-income countries found England used forceps in a higher proportion of births — about 11 per cent — than any other.

There are cases where forceps must be used. When babies are premature, suction would cause too much damage to the head. But that’s doesn’t explain the discrepancy. “It’s education,” Thakar explains. “We should be trained to do both [forceps and ventouse], so that we provide the best care to women and use the right instrument for the right baby and the right mother.”

The risk of a severe tear when forceps are used is at least twice as high as with ventouse: 8-12 per cent compared with 4 per cent. Women should be told this. The recent parliamentary inquiry heard other suggestions that might explain why forceps use in England is so high. The consultant gynaecologist and obstetrician Dr Nitish Raut explained that when poor outcomes of childbirth become part of litigation, the question, “Why were forceps not applied earlier?” will be asked. Although they can cause injury to mothers, forceps are the most effective instrument for getting a baby out. If a doctor tries and fails to deliver a baby with the less invasive ventouse first, a record will be made at the hospital trust. It was suggested by others that this might also be pushing some doctors straight to forceps use even when they might not be necessary.

“Training is a really key part of everything here,” Posy Bidwell, deputy head of midwifery at South Warwickshire Foundation Trust, told MPs. “If we can train people, we can prevent these injuries happening. Many midwifery students wouldn’t know the impact that these injuries are having on women.”

Newly qualified midwives did not know enough about perineal damage, and yet they’re providing one-to-one care to women. Current training did not seem to see it as a priority: while several aspects of maternity care are mandatory each year, suturing and perineal protection are not.

Neither doctors nor midwives appear to be taught how to routinely examine women after they have given birth either. Where this was once part of mandatory medical training, doctors are no longer encouraged to do it, Raut explained.

England is short of as many as 2,500 midwives, the Royal College of Midwives (RCM) estimates, although people are wanting to train and join the profession. Donna Ockenden, who is reviewing maternity services at Nottingham and who previously did so at Shrewsbury and Telford Hospitals NHS Trust, cautions against being too optimistic, however. The focus needs to be on retention. “Two midwives don’t equal two midwives,” she told parliament, “of we are losing midwives with 20, 30, 35 years’ experience… and they’re then being replaced by a more junior workforce, who are not being supported in those early days of their career.”

In the past decade and a half, the UK has seen several NHS maternity scandals — in Morecambe Bay, Shrewsbury and Telford, and East Kent. In all these cases, some of the poor care provided to mothers and their babies was because of a push towards “normal” or “natural” birth and a desire to keep caesarean section rates low. The RCM ended its campaign for “normal births” in 2017, but its legacy persists. Some NHS trusts still talk about them today. A culture of cover-ups and a lack of care remains in others. Just last month, the Care Quality Commission found that staff at Great Western Hospital in Swindon had been downgrading third and fourth-degree tears, “which meant they were not investigated as thoroughly as they should” have been. The c-section target was only officially dropped in 2022. Does RCOG now accept that it was a mistake? “It’s difficult for me to say years later whether it was a mistake or not,” Thakar tells me. “I think there was a general trend at the time to put figures to caesarean section rates. But now we know that, we don’t do that.” It was now right that women were offered a choice; she insists she hasn’t seen an attitude against caesareans more recently.

Aside from any physical and psychological impact, traumatic births are costing the country billions. According to figures from NHS Resolution, the arm of the Department of Health and Social Care that handles litigation, 62 per cent of the total clinical negligence cost of harm in 2022-23 (£6.6 billion) related to maternity. Of the £2.6 billion spent on clinical negligence payments that year, £1.1 billion (41 per cent) related to maternity. (As the fact-checking service Full Fact explains, the cost of harm differs from the amount actually paid out in compensation: the former includes an estimate of claims expected in the future arising from incidents in that financial year.) The year before, maternity services accounted for 60 per cent of the total clinical negligence cost of harm (£13.6 billion). NHS England spends about £3 billion a year on maternity and neonatal services.

There is such a long way to go. The government is well behind on its long-term target of halving the rates of stillbirth and neonatal mortality by 2025; the death of mothers within 42 days of the end of pregnancy is at its highest rate in almost 20 years. And while only a handful of trusts have been subject to official investigations, there are signs that poor care is happening across the country. Only half of maternity units in England are rated good or outstanding; one in ten is inadequate. That is a damning indictment of the way so many women are cared for.

One crucial area of improvement does not cost money at all. It requires a shift in attitude to one where women are treated with respect, listened to and allowed to make informed decisions about their bodies and babies.

When I first heard of parliament’s inquiry into birth trauma, it was never my intention to share my experience. Doing so has been upsetting and uncomfortable. But as I sat listening to other women talk about how giving birth had affected them so profoundly, it felt dishonest to stay quiet. Difficult births are not something we should feel ashamed of — much as I know many women will have been, myself included.

[majoryeager104]

Betrayal

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 Summary: In the attack against AFO, as Touya enters the scene through the makeshift portals along with the rest of the LOV, he sees someone on the other side of the fight, someone he didn’t expect

Touya Todoroki x Childhood friend Gn!Reader with a Wind quirk 

Warnings: Language, violence, looooots of angst bby prepare yourself 🥲 also it’s kinda long

You looked out for him when you could. Tended to his burns, cuddled him to sleep, gave him a place to stay for years. You were his girlfriend, and on top of that, you’d grown up with him. You knew him better than anyone. Loved him better than anyone. 

But something changed with him after he revealed his identity to the world. Something important to you was lost in the process. 

But you couldn’t figure out what that thing was. 

His burns got worse, he became more and more impatient over the smallest things, as if the only thing that would cure this newfound aggression was his full revenge. 

It worried you, to say the least. He began ignoring you, slowly stopped showing up, stopped asking for you to tend to his burns, stopped cuddling, stopped being himself. In a strange way, it felt like you’d already broken up. 

But for him, it was different. 

On his end, he thought he was doing the right thing. Now that people knew his identity, they could very easily get to you. That thought worried him. So he continued with his goals, hoping that you wouldn’t be hurt in the process. 

The truth was, you were on his mind as he and the League prepared for the fight ahead of them, getting ready to be teleported to AFO at a moments notice- excited for the chaos, and yet, he still felt that something was off. 

As the portal enthralled him and he stepped out on the other side, he quickly understood why. 

Because, when Shoto had approached you a week before, not as an enemy, but a family friend, and asked you to help save Touya from himself, you couldn’t say no. You’d given up on trying to become a hero after Touya burned up- you wanted to do it with him- but still you had a powerful wind quirk that could dispel his fire, as well as some decent experience. So, you joined them on the battlefield as they ambushed AFO, praying that Touya would finally listen to you. 

He stepped out of the portal, grinning like a madman, spotting his dear old dad and shooting a wall of flames towards Endeavor… which was quickly countered with a gust of wind. 

He wasn’t aware of a pro hero left with a wind based quirk. Shoto came through the portal, making eye contact with Endeavor. Meanwhile, Touya’s eyes scanned towards the source of the wind, meeting two oh so familiar eyes looking right back at him. 

He felt his stomach drop through the floor. 

Because there you stood, on the other side of the fight, next to Shoto… next to Endeavor… and you had the audacity to look worried. 

A trickle of blood ran down his face as he processed the scene, his blue eyes wide with contempt. 

“Y/n…. What the hell are you doing..?”

He asked, his voice raspy, but he tried to play it cool with a smirk, like inside he wasn’t breaking down completely at the sight of his lover on the other side of this battle, of all places. 

“Touya… I’m sorry… but I can’t watch you do this to yourself anymore… I’m here to stop you” 

Your voice hit him like a ton of bricks. The conviction, the determination, the concern. 

He said nothing at first, letting out a mirthless chuckle as he prepared to release another large gust of flames. 

“Stop me huh? You should’ve done that sooner if you actually cared so much” He mocked coldly, but his blue eyes and blood-streaked face gave away his true feelings. He saw your brow furrow in worry as you nodded, once again ripping open his barely beating heart as you quietly replied “I know… I’m sorry”

He threw out more fire, being countered this time by Shoto before the cages trapped him and the other villains in. 

He was seething, smoking, burning with rage, with hurt, with confusion. He didn’t want it to end like this… damn it, he didn’t want it to end. Your late night talks, your gentle whispers, sweet nothings that made him feel…human. He didn’t want this, but you were making it damn difficult. 

Part two coming soon <3

Banner Creds to @ ng-hrak830 (??I think that’s it but it’s hard to read) 🙌🙌🙌

[ukininayu]

I WANNA BE YOUR BOYFIREND! —INO TAKUMA

SYNOPSIS. poor Ino, having to deal with the most blind and oblivious crush... Maybe think abiut getting your eyes n heart checked...

CONTENT. NB!reader. (sorry if it sounds closer to f!) Childhood friends to lovers. Cheesy. Got the photographer! Ino idea from @colonelarr0w ! I asked the anon question on may 4.. Wowzers

WC. 2222! That's so kewl! Ah! Finally reached 2k words and I'm stopping cause this has been in my drafts for too long and I can't seem to add any more words. A/N. Oh boy. I wanted to use his first name (takuma/) but I'm too tired to edit. So I just added tags and posted it.

Ino Takuma was and is your bestest friend.

And you were the person Ino Takuma was hopelessly in love with.

meeting him when you were six and was picked on by a group of boys calling you names. Poor you couldn't do anything but to sniff and feel the tears pooling in your eyes.

2003.

you remember when he rushed to help you, his two small hands occupied with a handful of pebbles, and with those pebbles he threw them as hard as a six year old could, aimed right at the back of the mean group of kids who were tormenting you.

you remember the shocked looked plastered on their faces before screeching and running away from the playground and back to their non-existant parents, too frightened to look back.

you remember your now-best friend walking up to you, acting as cool as he can while he helps you stand up, adding in an " 'r you okay?".

He remembers when you held his hand and asked for him to help you stand up. when you did, you rubbed the tears pricking on your eyes off with your forearm, and with your free arm, you used it to hug him. thanking him while suppressing your hiccups.

He remembers cheekily smiling as his pretty crushmate thanks him like he was their knight in shining armour.

He remembers offering ice cream while pointing at a nearby ice cream stand in order to cheer you up, as his mind believed, "ice cream would solve all problems!" even exclaiming it to you.

He remembers the way your eyes lit up when he did what he did and you nodded in agreement to all of them.

He remembers holding hands with you as you guys walk to the stand to buy twin pops, opening the popsicle and letting you pick what side you want first.

He remembers the two of you counting from one to three before pulling the side of your popsicles towards yourselves. unfortunately for you, your popsicle broke and you had the smaller side.

He remembers offering to switch popsicle sticks instead, sticking the hand holding the bigger popsicle out for you to get.

he remembers when you nodded happily, taking the offered popsicle and giving the smaller one to him, which he accepts as happily.

He remembers the two of you, holding hands once more, walking back to the playground and resting on the playground stairs, starting up a random conversation, exchanging names, then quickly changing topics every two minutes or so.

(he remembers starting a war with you the next day, the enemies being the said bullies.)

He smiles, in his own world— no, in the shared world you and him made, talking about the past with you was always the best.

You sigh and sit up, leaning on his bed's headboard, your eyes darting around his soft bed you both were laying on in search for the remote, but your eyes seem to scan around his room. oops. "enough talking, we should continue watchi— hey!" you shout a little too loudly and ino looks at you with a raised brow.

"what is it?" he calls your name when you don't answer. After another call of your name and you still don't, he decides to look at where you were looking at. and behold, it was his first camera. it was weirdly placed in the front and center of all his other cameras, placed so that it would be the center of attention.) that was placed on his wall shelf.

2007.

It was finally his birthday! he could barely get himself to sleep the night before, too excited for the upcoming event. but in honesty, he was excited on what you would do with him to celebrate! maybe have a food fight? go to the arcade? he doesn't care, as long as you were celebrating with him!

He rushes down the stairs and loudly pushes the door open to run to your meet up spot with him. the playground stairs, the one off-placed stairs that was hidden below the big green slide.

And there you were, sitting on the stairs, holding something behind your back, when you saw him, you waved at him, shouting for him to come quick.

"Happy Birthday, Takuma!" you excitedly clap, but his attention isn't really on you. "Whatcha hidin'?" he asks, not bothering to hide his excited expression. "oh! nothing!" you respond with the same look on your face, only more cruel. "C'mon! Is that a gift? maybe a gift for… you know, somebody's birthday?"

you nod your head up and down before grabbing the gift from your back and placing it on your lap. "I was planning to give this to you a little later, but you can open it now, if you want!" you give the signal for him to get the nicely wrapped gift.

In a flash, Ino sits next to you and grabs the gift, placing it on his lap. "I wrapped it for you! so you better not tear it apart." you warn when his hands start to open the gift. he only scoffs and continues opening the ribbon first. "Of course, madam. i'd never!" he jokes, though true.

After he opens the gift, he exhales out a "woah..". "do you like it, takuma?" you nervously ask as he now holds the small camera you saved up for him.

When he finishes admiring the camera, he wraps one arm around you. "I love it! I promise I'll always take pictures of you using this!"

"You still have this camera?!" all of the sudden you were jumping to reach the old camera. "Surprising how you still remember." Ino thinks aloud before walking over and getting the camera for you.

When he hands it to you, you take it in your hands. "Does it still work?" you ask, your finger hovering over the button that turns on the digital camera, and he only nods.

For an old camera, it barely took any time to load. You stop when it does, clueless. and he realizes that. "need a little help?" you hum, "..How do I see the gallery?"

after he tells you and you figure it out, you run back to his bed to sit and he follows before sitting beside you.

Starting from the first ever photo the camera took, you couldn't help but smile in nostalgia. and your smile infecting him.

The pictures dated from when it was his tenth birthday till the first year of senior high school. one by one you and him skim over the hundred photos.

Majority of the saved pictures were you, it seemed like Ino had a liking in taking stolen pictures of you, too. Whether you were going down the green slide or studying for senior exams.

You notice there were barely any pictures of him saved in the gallery. The few images that you found of him was when he was with you. You either taking the picture yourself and pulling him in the cameras view, or the secretly taken photos you had managed to take of him when he didn't catch you.

He really did take his old promise to heart.

While he and you enjoyed the feeling of thinking about the memories you had made together, the sudden ringing of your phone alarm disrupted you both.

"Ah, shit.. Completely forgot about that." You murmur. You reach for your phone and turn the alarm off as you stand up and take you bag, slinging it over your shoulder.

"Oh? Where 'r you going?" He asks out of curiosity, "sorry, that's a secret!.. Well, sorry Ino. I got to go, I swear we'll finish our movie marathon tomorr ow!" He only nods, and you rush out of his apartment, shouting a "bye!" Out the way.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. . . .   　　˚　　 *　

Ino was no idiot. He knew you were going back to your oh-so lucky partner. The alarm was probably a reminder for an upcoming date.

Talking about your partner..

when your relationship with your significant other went public back in your second year of senior high, you dropped the largest bombshell on everybody you knew or knew you.

on him.

If it wasn't crystal clear, Ino was sooo in love with you… it started from a "crushmate" years ago and is still going on as "one and only". heck, everybody knew! it was that crystal clear!

but you, sweet you, was sooo blind! sooo oblivious it even hurt for everyone to watch!

he blames it on himself somebody else confessed to you and took your heart away from his. maybe he didn't show what he felt for you enough. As much as he loved to talk the truth, he was petrified of telling you what he feels, petrified you'd reject him— possibly leave him, even. he knows you would never do that, but the thought that you might makes it that he doesn't want to take his chance.

This doesn't mean he didn't actually show his love to you, he did! he showed his love to you like a photographer would. If there was something people knew, photographers wouldn't waste their effort and time on taking pictures for somebody just for nothing! even if said person was a close friend or family member. but he, he gave his effort and time into taking pictures of you! he even has three cameras devoted to you!

He knows he should've stopped loving you after you were now taken, he knows he should drop the "best friend" title, as as people say, "your lover is your best friend.", that the fact you had a best friend and a partner sounded weird.. he knows he should have tried to kill his feelings off, but he couldn't. he just can't. after all, he was hopelessly in love with you, and when you're hopelessly in love with someone, said someone was the only one you would care about.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. . . .   　　˚　　 　　*　　

What Ino expected the next morning when he had just walked out of his bathroom after a morning shower was the continuation of your's and his movie marathon, like you had swore. He definitely did not expect for you to call him, and when he heard your cracked voice silently asking— almost sounding like a plead— if he could come over, he was already going as fast as he could put on clothes while asking you to wait. his mind could only hope to believe thee sound of your voice was due to his or your's phone speaker.

After ten minutes, you hear a knock on your door. so you open your phone and message Ino to "come in, the door is open." the mental exhaustion infecting your body too much so that you don't have the energy to get up from sitting on your living room couch.

You hear him call your name. And there he was, concern clear on his face, his hand holding a plastic bag filled with your favorite snacks. "M' sorry for being late… jus' wanted to buy you a little somethi—oh." before you know it, he was sitting beside you.

When he asked what was wrong, you tried, really tried to tell him the story of it, but with the side effect of your cries, your throat would close, and when it didn't, it stung when you talked. Your best friend noticed and instead told you to tell him after you calmed down, but you 'calming down' didn't seem close. Even when you tried to stop the flowing tears, it was like a broken faucet that wouldn't close.

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twirling around your full-body mirror, you smile in confidence as you managed to dress and doll yourself up in just an hour, it was one of your biggest accomplishments, really. now all you had to do was to go to their apartment to meet up and go to the date they made for the both of you!

You walk out of your apartment and lock the door. the thought of you and your lover finally on a date after months made you happily walk like red riding hood to the elevator with the happiest aura people could feel and see. it was probably infectious, too.

Walking in the secluded park where your partner had texted you to go to, you were met with surprise when you saw them sitting on a patterned picnic blanket. with somebody else.

You call their name out with a wavering voice.

your "lover" looks behind when they hear their name, and to their own surprise their eyes meet yours. when they quickly stand up, the person besides them look to where they were looking at.

The stranger's face expression changes when your partner shouts out a pet name to call you and now said stranger was the one to shout, pulling and turning your partner to face them before spouting out curses.

you hear your partner exclaim they had texted the wrong number and "It must've had sent it to the both of you!" before everything blurs out.

you were thankful they were fighting instead of looking at you because you ran. you ran as fast as you possibly could, your mind panicking, only thinking of getting back to your apartment as soon as possible. too ashamed to let anyone see you in whatever state you were in.

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This was the note I put in.. I was stressinh

Not proof read

[monstrousorchids]

what the fuck kinda ending was that???

a filler season with no true plots that tie everything together. barely see nadja and laszlo being kinky spouses. no colin subplots between the main plots of each episode. nandor and guillermo are "just friends" and nandor supposedly has a crush on the guide. we barely see the guide and she never really gets the validation and acceptance she's been craving from the group for so long. we don't see guillermo and nadja interact apart from that weird finance bro side quest. laszlo's dad appears in one episode but does nothing. we don't see the baron, the sire and the rest of their little family. there's that nowhere subplot of another vampire that existed among them decades ago but only appears in this season and has nothing to do besides forget that he and colin were friends, be a sort of rival to nandor in the affection of the guide, and try to take over the world, then die? laszlo makes his own frankenstein monster and despite being there in the house he almost has nothing to do besides two episodes. there was that weird episode where a cop tv show was filming in their street.

we don't see them run around town in their usual locations getting into hijinks with humans. no night market, no clubs, no vampire council. we don't see much of sean and charmaine. nandor and guillermo didn't admit their feelings for one another and have gay sex in nandor's coffin. like what is going on? none of these characters felt like themselves and their dynamics were so off, especially with the additional characters. no laszlo and nadja moments, laszlo and colin moments, colin and guillermo moments, nandor and nadja moments, nadja and the guide moments, the guide and colin moments. we don't see nadja's doll self at all except in the background, and she doesn't interact with guillermo, colin or the guide.

i'm so sad. i hardly laughed once this season and this was supposed to be the finale. and instead it just feels like a half-baked filler season between 3 and 4. none of these beloved characters get a proper send-off nor are their arcs concluded in any meaningful way. i don't understand how the show was able to end on its own terms and yet drop the ball with the stories it had been building for years.

i understand if they wrote the season that way because they didn't want it to feel like the end, keeping in line with the documentary aspect and how their lives will continue off-camera. but it felt so forced and rushed. it felt like a cop out. all of that build-up into the relationships of the characters and their growth as individuals and the questions of what they'll do next just thrown out the window. granted, season 4 and 5 weren't the best and showed signs of decline in focus on what the show was about, but they were still funny and they still focused on the characters and tried new things to explore the lore of the vampires.

now i know how game of thrones fans felt.