#and nothing anybody says can convince me otherwise

[knightelf]

i could turn jacob seed. i could make him forgo his brothers orders and see through him for what he was evennn if he was maybe right about montana getting nuked whateverrr like what everrrr okay

[cutielando]

Can we have a Lando x reader who's a little chubby?

chubby | l.n.

warnings!!: reader is described as being chubby, self-consciousness

my masterlist

You hadn’t always had doubts regarding the way you looked.

Seeing so many models around you at every step, feeling the eyes burning into the back of your neck and scrutinizing you for simply the way you looked. But you never cared about any of that.

You weren’t ugly, far from it. You were as beautiful as they come, but slightly a little chubby. You had some meat on your thighs and you weren’t afraid to show it off or feel confident in your body.

Well, that was before.

Ever since you started dating Lando, everything changed.

The amount of eyes that were on you before was nothing compared to the moment when you were introduced to the world as Lando’s girlfriend.

You had decided to keep your relationship a secret for the first couple of months, just until you tested out the waters and figured out what would come of the whole thing. You had tried to limit your expectations from the very beginning, knowing that Lando could leave you for anyone and nobody would ever know.

But it didn’t happen, and you were sure that what you had was real after months and months of expecting the worst.

After many talks, both you and Lando decided that it would be best for you to attend the Silverstone Grand Prix as your first official race as his girlfriend. It was his home Grand Prix, at the end of the way, he wanted you there with his family, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“Are you sure you want me to come? I can stay back, I don’t mind” you said as you were waiting for Lando to finish getting ready so you could all leave for the track.

He looked at you, blankly staring at you. You’d had the same conversation 10 times since you guys woke up, and he didn’t know how to stress it well enough that he wanted you there with him.

“Baby, I don’t know how else to say this. I want you there with me, my family wants you there as well. Why are you so nervous?” he was holding your arms, softly running his finger up and down your soft skin.

You had the answer, but you didn’t want to give it to him. You already knew what he was going to say and how he was going to react, but you couldn’t lie to him when he looked at you with those eyes of his that stared deep into your soul.

“I know what people are going to say when they see you with me” you mumbled, staring down at your shoes.

Lando frowned, not understanding what his fans had to do with anything. Why would you care about what his fans would say? He didn’t, why would you?

“What do you mean?” he asked, bringing you closer to his body.

You sighed against his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist loosely.

“People are going to say things when they see you with me” your voice was small, unsure of your own words.

Lando’s eyebrows furrowed, confused as to what you meant. But he didn’t say anything when you sighed, letting you get everything off of your chest.

“I don’t look like the girls you are usually seen with, and people noticed that. They always have something to say about the way I look next to you and that I’m not like your exes and that you don’t really like me and are using me for clout. I know it’s not true, but sometimes they get to me” you confessed, a weight slowly lifting off of your conscience.

You weren’t used to being in the public eye as much as Lando, so you’d never before had to deal with people commenting about your appearance and judging every single thing you did or said.

It was something you took a while getting used to, but it was worth it if it meant being with Lando. And Lando was very grateful for all the sacrifices you had made for him.

“Baby, look at me” he said, taking your face in his hands so you would look him in the eyes. “I don’t care what anybody has to say about you. I love you for who you are, just the way you are. You’re gorgeous in my eyes and nobody could ever convince me otherwise” he said, speaking slowly so you could absorb his words carefully.

You looked at him, biting your lip as you studied his face and especially his eyes. They were sincere, holding more honesty and love than you thought you could ever comprehend.

“You mean that?” you whispered, feeling hot tears building into the corners of your eyes.

Lando smiled and leaned down, kissing you deeply. “I love you, and I don’t care what anyone has to say about us. We’re happy, nobody else matters”

You bit your lip again but nodded, prompting a big smile to break out on Lando’s face.

“Then let’s rock Silverstone”

♡♡♡♡♡

The paddock was buzzing when you arrived with Lando and his family. Dozens of fans were screaming your boyfriend’s name, and even though he smiled and waved at them while keeping his distance, you could tell his smile was not 100% honest.

You tried not to look at his fans if you could help it, knowing you would be met with some looks you’d be better off not seeing. Lando saw that, and he only wrapped his arm around your shoulders to keep you even closer as you made your way together to the garage.

“How are you feeling?” Lando asked once you were in the safety of his driver’s room, away from the screaming fans and photographers.

You smiled, your heart warming at the fact that his most pressing concern, even on the toughest race weekends, was you.

“I’m okay, you don’t have to worry about me” you reassured him, smiling lightly.

He looked at you for a moment, studying your face and eyes intently. He didn’t like knowing that his fans were not supportive of his relationship and of you in particular, he thought it was absolutely ridiculous.

“I just want to make sure you’re comfortable being here” he said, sighing before pulling you into a hug.

“I’ve known from the beginning that being in the public eye wouldn’t always be sunshine and roses. This is just an example of that, we can’t control it. People are allowed to have opinions, I just have to learn how to deal with them” you said, enjoying the warmth emanating from his body.

Lando nodded, but still felt like he should make it clear how wrong everybody else was about you.

He pulled away from the hug, only to take your face in his hands. “I want you to know that, no matter what anyone might say, I love you just the way you are. I don’t care if you’re skinny, if you’re a little chubby, if you have short or long hair, I care about you in any form. I love you for who you are, not for the way you look” he said, making tears well up in the corners of your eyes.

You had always known Lando loved you, but this right there proved it to you 1000 times over.

Not being able to resist, you practically threw yourself against his body, kissing him so fiercely you both became lightheaded. Pouring every ounce of love you felt for one another into a kiss, sealing a promise that you would always be there to lift each other up, no matter what.

Why?

Because nothing else mattered besides you two.

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[thewertsearch]

GG: karkat!!!!! CG: WHOA FUCK CG: YOU ANSWERED ME, I DONT BELIEVE IT

It’s been a long time coming, but we’ve finally made it to the conversation Karkat prophesied thousands of pages ago.

We know this conversation is 'important', but we've never been told why. Perhaps it's time for Jade to come up with her version of the Scratch plan before Doc shows up to corrupt it.

GG: i never thought id say this, but im actually almost relieved to talk to you […] GG: or really ANYBODY besides that lunatic GG: SHE IS DRIVING ME NUTS!!!!!!! […] CG: HOW SO, EVERYTHING HERE APPEARS TO BE PROCEEDING RATIONALLY.

“I MEAN, YOU’RE JUST YELLING AT YOUR PAST SELF, RIGHT? I LITERALLY DO THAT SHIT ON THE DAILY.”

GG: […] im trying to be strong about all that so we can keep moving forward GG: and if i can then why cant she? […] CG: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. GG: I SAID STOP SAYING FUCKING HMM CG: o:B GG: what does THAT mean????? GG: is that supposed to be someone with a halo and goofy teeth? GG: ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME? […] CG: THOSE ARE MY HORNS

I love that Karkat’s experimenting with personalized emoticons.

He picked it up from Aradia, and nothing can convince me otherwise. Lowblood solidarity never dies 👊🩸

CG: IF I RECALL, IT WASN'T THAT LONG AGO FROM EITHER OF OUR PERSPECTIVES THAT YOU WERE RIPPING ON ME AND MY SMUG WINDBAG FUTURE SELF FOR ARGUING WITH EACH OTHER […] GG: this is NOTHING like that! […] GG: she's ACTUALLY INSANE CG: OH I SEE, AND ALL THOSE IDIOT PAST AND FUTURE KARKATS WEREN'T??? […] GG: those are you GG: im not her!

Sorry, Jade, but Karkat’s got you bang to rights here.

The sources of your rage are a little different, though. Karkat hates his alt-selves because they act exactly like he does, and he can't stand the way he acts. He's trapped in an endless cycle of yelling at Future Karkat, becoming Future Karkat, and getting so mad at Past Karkat that he takes it out on Double-Future Karkat.

Meanwhile, Jade hates Jadesprite because she openly expresses the terror and hopelessness that she's desperately been trying to hide. Jadesprite may be a 'blubbering goddamn pansy', but she's also processing emotions that need to be processed, which is something Jade isn't quite ready to face. She just wants to be cheerful - but for a second, Jadesprite forced her to be honest.

To Karkat, his past self is a masochistic feedback loop - but to Jade, her sprite is an embarrassment.

[wyattjohnston]

uh oh - mat barzal

summary: you and mat didn't work out. it's not an issue, really.

word count: 1,361

main character: feminine!reader

inspired by: uh-oh by tate mcrae

The body pressed up against yours was hot; the leg between your thighs applying a delectable pressure. None of it felt quite the way you wanted it to but it was all for show so did it really matter? There was one pair of eyes you wanted to see you, one pair of hands you wanted to touch you; you just needed to make him want it just as bad.

A hand brushed under the loose material of your barely-there top, the touch only barely registering even when it was accompanied by warm breath against your neck. You looked up subtly over the guy’s shoulder, just to smirk when you saw the heated look being sent in your direction.

Mat looked furious.

Mat who broke up with you.

Mat who you still wanted even though you knew better.

The guy pressed up against you had no idea that you weren’t interested in him and, or that you weren’t even really checked in to what he was doing. It wasn’t getting any better as time passed, despite how hard he was clearly trying to get something going.

His whispering in your ear was the final straw, killing any illusion you had convinced yourself of. You looked over his shoulder once more, and let out a longing sigh when you, again, saw Mat looking directly at you. It was the wrong time to sigh because the guy took it at as a sign to pull you closer; it didn’t change the speed at which you extricated yourself from him and made a move towards the club’s exit.

Mat was long gone by the time you reached where he’d been standing but you weren’t worried about where he’d gone. He would be where he had been every other time you’d followed him out of the club, opposite the line waiting to get in and acting as if he wasn’t waiting for you at all. That was okay because you always walked right past him and made him follow you.

You felt his breath against your ear, a shiver rolling down your spine. It was no surprise what came next and you were rolling your eyes before Mat even started speaking.

“Took you long enough.”

Uber was a mistake.

It was too easy to get anywhere you wanted after a few drinks, no need to stand on the street and hail a taxi, no need to try and make a phone call to book one, no need to let anybody know that you’re out the door and going somewhere you shouldn’t.

The streets to Mat’s place were all too familiar; burnt into your mind over the course of your relationship and only becoming clearer after it ended.

Your watch buzzed and, despite knowing exactly who it will be and what the texts will say, you turned it upwards and watched as texts flooded in from your best friend.

Are you kidding me rn

Again???

Babe you cant keep doing this

You took it off your wrist to stop the next texts and, when you were let inside Mat’s apartment, it was dropped onto a table with your purse and your phone to be ignored and forgotten.

And easily forgotten it was when you laid eyes on Mat properly, your face screwing up unthinkingly when you were confronted with a haircut you never wanted to see.

“Did your mum like your school photos?”

Mat’s face morphed—previously filled with nothing but lust, it shifted into him biting his lip to hide the lopsided smile that otherwise would have taken over. He exhaled, a laugh lingering around the edge of it.

“You can chirp me all you want,” Mat said, unwaveringly cocky and just a little sleazy, “but you’re still here.”

No response came out of your mouth because nothing formed in your brain. You made direct eye contact with him, instead, silently daring him to keep talking. He read the unspoken threat that you’d leave and set his own jaw with a small twitch of his eyebrow.

“We done talking?”

Another weekend, another party, another bad decision.

You’d been given a talking to when you resurfaced at your apartment; your friend sitting at the small dining table swearing she hadn’t been waiting for you. It didn’t make a difference. Not when you already knew that going anywhere with Mat was unhealthy.

The house party invite had been unexpected but not unwelcome and you put together an outfit that appeared to not be trying too hard—appeared. You weren’t making an effort for anyone in particular, it just felt like the right thing to do.

Seeing Mat across the room—his head low as he leant into a conversation with a woman you didn’t recognise and a Truly held not too far from his face—let you know that the feeling to dress up had been because of him. He was sufficiently distracted with his flirty chat, nothing that worried you and nothing that couldn’t be changed, so you wandered around the house and into the yard to find a cooler before scrutinising the décor as you so loved to do.

Your friend showed up not long after, pulling you into the bathroom so she could finish applying her makeup after rushing from work. The quick rush away from the main party area was a blessing, especially when you looked quickly back over your shoulder and locked eyes with Mat.

“Are you drunk already?” she asked you when you appeared beside her in the mirror.

“No?”

“You sure? Your chest is so red.”

The heat rushing through your cheeks had been hard to ignore but it was at least hidden by your makeup. You may have been a little drunk on the White Claws you’d double parked because you hadn’t realised that the redness had creeped down to your bare chest.

“So,” you said, trying to be casual and trying to delay the rest of your sentence until your friend wasn’t mid-application of eyeliner. “Mat’s here.”

Even if you hadn’t been staring into the reflection, you would have known your friend was glaring at you. You looked away, regardless.

“Just get back together with him if you’re going to keep doing this.”

You shook your head, laughing to yourself. You didn’t have to remind her that there was a reason you and Mat hadn’t worked the first time; that all the sexual chemistry in the world couldn’t fix the communication issues neither of you would take the time to fix.

Leaving the bathroom, you understood it was too early to find Mat. You did want to enjoy yourself and spend time with your friend before you let eye contact with Mat linger for any longer than a few seconds. That didn’t stop your mind from wandering to thoughts of how the rest of your night would go.

When you were reaching deep into the cooler to find a drink that was actually cold, hands came to rest on your waist. When you stood up straight, there was a chest pressed closed against your back.

“Are you stalking me?”

“You should be so lucky.”

You turned around, Mat never moving to give you much space at all, and yourself staring at his mouth. You made eye contact for a brief second before your eye darted around the backyard and into the house to see if anyone was watching—one person, maybe, though they very well could have been drunk and staring into nothingness. It wouldn’t matter if they were, the people who knew both of you knew more than enough that seeing you so close wouldn’t surprise them.

“We getting out of here or you going to avoid me for a little longer?”

“Depends if you were done flirting with the chick with the braids.”

Mat looked back into the house, his eyes didn’t linger long enough to show any sign that he’d seen the woman in question, and, when he was looking at you again, he was smirking. His hand slid into yours and, before you knew it, the can you’d pulled was dropping to the ground and you were being led out the garden gate.

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[wambsgansshoelaces]

Chapter 5; Something Sweet

Kendall Roy x Reader

a/n: tell a friend to tell a friend… she’s baaaaack

as always, your replies and reblog comments bring me immense joy, so speak your mind <3 enjoy x

Word Count: 3.404k

The week of Christmas is the busiest of your year. You have tons of odd jobs catering around the city, and of course, the Roy residence Christmas day.

Kendall comes by when he can. His days at Waystar are getting busier and busier despite the upcoming holidays. He’s sat on your couch, practically asleep. You peer at him from over your kitchen counter.

“Are you alright?”

“Fucking exhausted.”

Over the last few weeks, you’d gotten to watch as he got more comfortable with you. After your first time staying the night at his place, it turned into a regular thing. If you went over, you’d stay, and if he came, he’d stay- like tonight.

“You’re literally the CEO. Give yourself the week off.” You eye the pot of noodles boiling. You were a baker, sure, but that didn’t mean you were too good cooking.

“I can’t just do that,” he says exasperatedly.

You hesitantly drain the water from the pot. “It’s in the job description, Ken. Do whatever the fuck you want.”

“If I do, that means my workload goes to my brother, and he’s going to fuck it all up. It needs to happen right, Y/N.”

You sigh. “You’re the finance bro.”

“I’m not a- whatever that is. Stop calling me that.” He rolls onto his stomach, pulling one of the sofa cushions over his head. “Can you turn off the lights, please?”

You do. “What’s wrong?”

“Headache,” is all he offers, muffled by the cushion.

“Take at least half a week off.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“Christmas is already too much. And I have to spend it with my father.” He makes a strangled noise.

“Come back with me after I’m done in the afternoon,” you suggest, plating the pasta. “We can spend a quiet night in where you can drool all over my couch all you like.”

He snorts.

“Do you want me to wait for you so we can eat together?”

“What? No, Y/N, eat. Leave me a plate, I’ll be fine.”

“Hmm, okay. I’ll wait.” You lift his legs from the couch and sit, setting them back on top of your lap. The food would get cold, but you didn’t mind. You give the back of his calf a pat.

“This is weird,” Kendall mutters, shifting so that his head is now in your lap rather than his legs. “Better,” he mutters into your thigh.

“I’m being serious about spending Christmas together,” you tell him.

“I can come over after six. I still want to see the kids.” You push your fingers through his hair. He’d almost buzzed it, but thankfully, you’d convinced him otherwise. “What do you want? As gifts, I mean.”

You take a moment to think, playing with his hair. “Nothing comes to mind, really. I’m content.”

“Mm, don’t bullshit me. Everyone wants at least something.”

“Ken, we’re by ourselves. Turn off the CEO.”

“Hard to.” He sighs contentedly, your fingers running down his neck and onto the expanse of his back. “Come on, don’t tell me there isn’t some ridiculously expensive thing I can get you.”

“I can’t ask that of you. Or anyone, really.” You aren’t lying- there’s nothing you’ve been dying for lately. You had your bakery, you had this thing with Kendall. That’s all you’re beginning to think you’ll ever need.

“Y/N, money isn’t a problem for me. Don’t worry about it.” He rolls over so that your fingers drag onto his chest and he’s able to look up at you. “Tell me what you want.”

“I’m being serious, I can’t think of anything,” you insist as he takes the hand sitting on his chest, twining your fingers together and pressing them to his heart. “Just be there. That can be my present.”

“That’s the lamest Christmas gift I’ve ever heard anybody ask for,” he retorts. “What’re you into? Jewelry? Designer? Vintage stuff?”

“Kendall, I’m not budging.”

He presses lazy kisses along your fingers. “Come on. I want to.”

“Well, I can’t help you. There’s nothing I want but for you to knock on my door and then spend the night with me.”

“I can’t just show up empty handed,” he says. “What a horrible guest I’d be, after you’ve been so hospitable.��

“Does it count as hospitality if you’re the one who’s been steals pastry rejects from downstairs?”

He laughs, the sound coming straight from his stomach. It’s the first time he’s been so loose around you. It’s hearty, joyful. You want to hear it again and again. “Don’t sell yourself short.”

“You act like the raccoon that lives in my Dumpster. She’s much cuter than you, you know. Makes up for her being a leech.”

He laughs again. “My competition is a raccoon that eats garbage for a living? I thought men would be fist fighting for you. Or women. I don’t judge.” He plays gently with your fingers. “But I could easily beat a raccoon in hand to hand combat."

“No, the raccoon isn’t vying for my affection, like another certain someone,” you tease. “And even if people were fighting over me, I’d choose you.” You pause. "Why are we talking about fighting raccoons?"

Kendall’s eyes meet yours, and he’s silent for a moment. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

You don’t hesitate.

“’Course I will.”

It’s quiet again, for what feels like a century. He pushes himself up off your lap, takes your chin, and kisses the breath from your lungs.

His hand slides from your chin and up your jaw to allow his fingers to tangle in your hair. He pulls you tighter against him, deepening the kiss, and parting his lips when you do.

He kisses you incessantly, barely letting you breathe. Your hand finds his wrist, the other attempting to find purchase in the soft fabric of his shirt. He presses his lips to yours, over and over, like he’s trying to fuse with you, make you a part of him.

When he pulls away, you suck in a breath of air. “Fuck, baby.” Without hesitating, he’s dotting kisses up your jaw, then down your neck. “I want you so bad,” he murmurs into your skin. “I’ve wanted you so bad. You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever laid eyes on. So fucking beautiful.”

Before you can say anything, his mouth is back on yours. This time, he’s slow, tender. He presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth. You can feel the slight swell of your lips. You can see it mirrored in Kendall’s, his lips a light rosy color.

“I’ll get you a lipstick or something,” he whispers to you, his thumb tracing over your bottom lip. “This same shade.”

જ⁀➴

Christmas Eve. A weird day for you. You were never really close with your family, and you rarely spoke now. It hurt watching others run about with their loved ones. But what could you do?

You’re paranoid going through all of the ingredients set to be brought to you tomorrow. You pore through them, over and over, and check needlessly on some jellies and frostings chilling in the fridge. You’ll have help tomorrow with the baking, of course, but you just had an unshakable fear that someone was going to mess something up- you probably will be doing all of the busy work tomorrow. You can’t take the chance. Kendall’s paranoia is rubbing off on you.

As soon as you think the thought, he’s shouldering open the back door. You must’ve forgotten to lock it. “Hey. You’re still up?”

“You came all the way over here to ask me that?”

He rolls his eyes and catches you by the waist when you try to walk by. You give him a kiss hello and he presses a sweet kiss to your brow. “Yeah, yeah. I drove a whole ten minutes to ask if you’re awake,” he says sarcastically. He presses another kiss to the side of your forehead. “I knew you were still awake. So I came to keep you company.”

You close your eyes, resting your face against his chest. “You okay?” His hand smooths up your spine, gently scratching when he reaches the nape of your neck. “You need to go to sleep.”

“No,” you manage, his touch making you feel ethereal. “No, I have to make sure everything’s ready.”

“You can do that in the morning. You’re going to fall asleep standing up, Y/N.”

“Stay?”

“Brought my bag.”

All the times he’d stayed over before, he’d insisted he took the couch. He was adamant about being ‘gentlemanly’, as he put it, and you’d let him. You were going to take this as slow as he needed it to be.

Tonight, however, you were over it.

When he went to toss his bag onto the couch, you frowned. “You’re sleeping in the bed. With me.” Without hesitating, he reroutes and sinks into your mattress, spreading his limbs out like a starfish. “You want to get kicked out?” you ask, pushing him aside so you can settle into bed.

His arms wind around you, pulling you close. “Your couch is comfy. I wouldn’t mind.” You huff, curling into him regardless. “You sure you won’t stay for dinner? We’re together now. It’s not weird.”

”For me it is. I’d be meeting your ex-wife and both your kids. That’s a little quick, don’t you think?”

“Whatever you say. I’ll bring you leftovers.”

“How sweet,” you say drolly. He kisses your cheek in response.

You’re up bright and early the next morning. Your anxiety is through the roof- you’ve never catered an event of this magnitude. You’d done much larger groups, but Logan Roy? You felt like puking.

You get over yourself as you get ready. Kendall’s tangled up in your sheets, asleep. You don’t want to wake him up yet- his head is buried under his pillow and his chest raises and falls softly. You dig through your closet for clothes suitable for the day. You find a relatively new baking uniform that you pray is lightweight. You’ll be in front of an oven or stove top for the next five hours; it’d be preferable you didn’t melt into a puddle.

Kendall shifts slightly in bed before calling out to you. “Y/N?”

“In the closet,” you reply. He doesn’t answer, but you hear the rustling of sheets. You hurry back out into the bedroom, throwing a half apron over your shoulder. You make sure your phone is charged and that you have everything you need in a bag- the jellies and frostings will be taken over by someone else later.

“Good morning,” Kendall rasps, catching your hand. He’s emerged from under the pillow, his hair disheveled. He presses a quick kiss to your knuckles. “You’ll be great.”

You smile and give him a kiss on the lips. “Get up. You’re driving.”

He wipes a hand over his face. “That was the best sleep of my life,” he mutters before rolling out of bed. He finds his bag, left on the floor from the night before, and pulls out a hoodie to wear in the early morning chill. “Do you really need to go so early?”

“Everything needs to be perfect. Better early than late.”

“You know if something goes wrong, he’s not going to shoot you,” Kendall says, voice muffled by the fabric being tugged over his head. “I’ll eat anything and everything you make and enjoy it. Besides, my dad isn’t a picky man. With his food, anyway.”

“What about the last pastry chef? That incident you mentioned when we first met.”

“He’d chucked a pineapple at my brother. He deserved it, yeah, but it’s about decorum,” he says faux-seriously. He hooks an arm around your neck, blinking the sleep from his eyes as he walks with you to the door.

You try to regulate your breathing on the drive over. You’re successful- nothing will go wrong. Nothing can go wrong. You’re sure of it. After you convince yourself of it, anyway. Kendall holds your hand over the center console, gently stroking the back of your hand with his thumb.

“You stress too much,” he says softly.

“Wasn’t I just saying that to you, the other day?”

“Tch, shut up. We’re talking about you, not me.” He pulls in near the townhouse. “I get hungry just looking at your display case. Shiv inhales your stuff whenever I bring it to the office. You’ll kill it, Y/N, I promise.”

You kiss each other one last time, and then you’re on your own.

You’re granted access into the townhouse, and the kitchen, quite easily. You take a breath, steeling yourself, and tie your apron.

Marcia had obliged you when you said you’d need a little help. She hadn’t provided you with one or two people, like you’d been expecting, but a small battalion. You didn’t really know what you were going to do with half of these people. Maybe you’ll just let some of them go home.

Nobody’s really doing anything, but that’s good. You think you’ll blow a gasket if even a sprinkle goes out of line today. You quietly inventory what you have- people, pots, pans, ingredients, tools. This shouldn’t prove to be that difficult.

You gather the obscene amount of people and quickly explain what you intend on doing today, Things that need to chill get made first. Delay the better-served-hot desserts as much as physically possible. Keep the whipped cream and frosting in the fridge- better yet, nobody touch either of those. I’ll decorate everything myself. You can all go home once everything is in the oven.

The beginning is all just busywork. Make the batter, put the batter in a buttered pan, stick it in the oven, repeat. Half work on fillings and creams, the other half on batters and doughs. Although you tend to dislike having people in your employment, this reminds you of your days in pastry school. You ran things with an iron fist back then- you still do. That’s why every team you begrudgingly head runs like a well oiled machine.

Things are going in and out of the ovens. Whisks click against metal bowls, feet patter about the kitchen. From what you can tell, you’re well on schedule. Toppings are beginning to be made, and it’s getting closer to time to start on the warm sweets.

You take a moment to stand and observe, making sure everybody is on track. You do, however, catch someone peeping into the kitchen. You catch his eye, and step out before he can step in.

“Can I help you?” you ask cooly.

He puts his hands up in surrender. “I’m just watching.” His dark hair is slicked back, a slight stubble lining his face. The bags under his eyes are deep- they remind you of Kendall.

“As long as that’s all you’re doing.” You turn your attention away from him as the last of the pans get out the oven. “Okay, everyone, you’re free to go. Enjoy your holidays, feel free to take home extras,” you say blandly, itching to get to work.

You glance at the clock- two hours before you’re to be done. You don’t really have that much heavy lifting to do. Decorate the larger cakes, frost the batches of cupcakes, and garnish everything that needs to be garnished. You think you can finish with time to spare.

As you’re swirling buttercream onto a red velvet cake, the man from before appears at your elbow. You throw him a warning look before getting back to the cupcakes. Once frosted, you sprinkle crushed bits of red velvet cake onto the buttercream.

“If you’re going to hover, stick those in the fridge, would you?”

Taken by surprise, he snaps out of his stupor and carefully carries the tray and obliges.

“Sorry. I’m just curious.”

“About?” You don’t look away from what you’re doing.

“Uh, lots of things. For one, the fact that you’re doing this all by yourself.”

“I like it better that way.”

“You’re Kendall’s girl, right?”

“What do you mean? He got me this job, yeah.”

“That’s not- okay, whatever.” He flocks back to your side, staring as you quickly frost perfect flowers onto a chocolate cake. “That’s… crazy.”

“Poetic.”

“I’m trying to be nice,” he mutters. “Sorry. I’m Roman. Kendall’s brother. I got sick of sitting in the living room with the old geezer, so I ended up here.”

You outright laugh at the reference to his father. “It’s nice to meet you, really, but I’m kind of on a time crunch.”

He says nothing. You glance back at him, feeling kind of bad. “There’s a bunch of cupcakes I’m not going to put out on a tray on top of the fridge. If you want one,” you amend.

“I see why he likes you. You’re kind of the same person.”

You snort. “I feel like we’re hardly alike.” You sigh and glance around, inspecting your work. Roman helps himself to the treats you’d pointed out.

“When you’re both working, you’re kind of assholes. When you’re not…”

“You don’t know me to be able say that.”

“I know how to read people,” is all he says back. You roll your eyes, wiping your hands on the towelette you’d stuck into your waistband. “These are rejects? Jesus, you’re fucking good.” He wipes away a vanilla crumb from his lip.

“Tell me how the real stuff is.” You sigh exasperatedly. “Well, I’m done here. Nice meeting you…?” You cringe, having already forgotten his name.

“Roman.”

“Roman. Sorry.”

He holds up another cupcake in mock salute. “Drive safe.”

જ⁀➴

You take the fattest nap of your life back at home, waking up just in time to get ready for Kendall. Not exactly get ready, but just move from your bed to the couch. You can’t be bothered to put any work into your appearance at the moment.

Kendall had promised to come by at six, and it was currently six thirty. You think nothing of it.

Until it’s seven and a weak knock sounds at your door. Kendall stands on the other side, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand and something hidden behind his back. His eyes are slightly red, the bags under his eyes matching Roman’s.

“I’m really sorry I’m late,” he tells you, voice cracking. “Ran into some… issues.”

“You’re here now.” You smooth your thumb over one of the dark patches under his eyes. “What happened?” You step aside, letting him in. He carefully sets the flowers on your kitchen counter, keeping whatever it is he’s holding behind his back.

“Dad was… fucking insane. I’m used to his berating bullshit, but today was… so much worse.” He turns to face you. “Never mind that. I have something for you.”

“Kendall, I told you you didn’t need to bring anything.”

“I did anyway. It’s nothing huge. It’s kind of stupid, actually,” he admits, face flushing. “Close your eyes?”

You do. After a moment, you feel a cool touch of metal to your neck. He fumbles with something, his hand brushing the back of your neck. Keeping your eyes closed, you bring your fingers to your neck and feel a chain.

“Cheater,” he mutters affectionately. “You can open, anyway.” You lift up the chain and inspect the charms.

Both your initials, dangling next to each other.

“Kendall!”

“I know, it’s kind of cheesy, and honestly probably too fast-”

“No, I love it! It’s so beautiful,” you say truthfully. Your heart swells.

“I, uh, got one to match.” He pulls a thinner chain with much smaller charms from under his shirt. You throw you arms around him, and he immediately hoists you up and gives you a small spin.

“My gift makes me look like a cheap asshole now,” you tell him after giving him a long kiss.

“You got me something?”

“Of course I did.” You quickly grab the small gift bag from its hiding place and come back to him. “It’s definitely not the sort of quality that you’re used to, which is why this is probably such a horrible gift. But you were complaining about how your tie clips are always breaking, and you didn’t like the shape of your cuff links because they scratched up your skin…” You press the bag into his hands.

“Oh, Y/N…” He takes out the two small velvet boxes. A pristine new tie clip and pair of cuff links- round, so they wouldn’t catch on his skin. “You’re perfect.”

[max-nico]

Songs to listen to for maximum Tails angst, as well as a run down of how I daydream to them

Enjoy, or don't, and feel free to add your own. I'm always looking for new music recommendations.

Multiple paragraph incoming, you have been warned

The Tornado, Owl City

Starting off with an absolute BANGER !!!!! I'm obsessed with Owl City so don't @ me about this lol. In this song Adam Young is telling a story about a young boy delivering papers on his bike, when a tornado hits. Miraculously, he survives.

To me, this song is about Tails gearing up to leave in the tornado. As he begins to fly over the ocean a storm hits, and eventually turns into a tornado. As the music crescendos the storm gets worse, and eventually the plane crashes into the ocean (specifically at 2:05, you can't tell me it doesn't sound like a Wii sports snorkeling mini game). By the time the lyrics come in he's grabbed the chaos emerald from the back of his plane and he's trying to get out of the water. At the line "the shadows slowly melted as I was hunkered down" Tails spots angel island and he flies up there and it's a happy ending yayyyy

I Was an Island, John-Allison Weiss

Honestly I don't have like a particular scene or daydream to this. This song just makes me feel things when I listen to it, and I think Tails would really relate. I think specifically NINE would relate actually, but any Tails variation will do tbh

"I can't do this alone anymore, I'm no good on my own anymore. What did I do to do deserve this? What did you do to me? Baby come back, you know I don't wanna be free." Is just something I feel like Nine would relate to idk

Bugbear, Chloe Moriondro

I don't have a particular daydream to this one either but this song is so Tails to me. This is so him. Y'all aren't listening she said "my brain is surrounded by school kids who all got their valedictorian course, while I couldn't care enough about my 3.8, no matter how hard I try I'm still not trying hard enough to be... Great." YOU'RE TELLING ME HE DOESN'T RELATE TO THAT ?!!?!!

Talk To Me, Cavetown

This is so Sonic talking to Tails to me. "You don't have to be a prodigy to be unique, you don't have to know what to say or what to think, you don't have to be anybody you can never be, that's alright, let it out, talk to me." Is something Sonic has said to Tails at least once and you can't convince me otherwise.

This song is just so comforting. Listening to this makes me warm with brotherly feels.

Vanilla Twilight, Owl City

I used to cry to this song, so tread lightly sympathetic criers lol.

This daydream takes place sometime after Sonic Frontiers when Tails decides to go his own way, leaving Sonic by himself. It switches between their POVs depending on the lyric. For example, one of Sonic's lyrics is "cause I'll doze off safe and soundly, but I'll miss your arms around me, I'll send a postcard to you dear, cause I wish you were here." And one of Tails' lyrics is "I'll find repose in new ways, though I haven't slept in 2 days, cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone."

They'll reunite someday I swear

Overgrown Garden, Beetlebug

Ow ouch ffff-ouch ouchie owwwieeeeeee ಥ⁠_⁠ಥ sorry guys this one involves major character death lol

So the actual song is about an abusive relationship using flower metaphors and symbolism, but I didn't know that when I started listening so this daydream has nothing to do with that. With that being said...

Every chorus is Tails at a different age wondering if Sonic will abandon him, no matter how much Sonic reassures him the thought just sticks in the back of his mind even if he doesn't voice it. Things don't start to get juicy until the 3rd verse, "The rhododendrons crimson flame, set fire to the sleepy air, and lit the early morning haze, that glistened in your tangled hair." I understand that the flame is a metaphor and there's no actual flame but I don't care, in my daydream there's actual flames because Sonic and Tails are in the middle of a flower field that's been engulfed in them.

At the lyric "You place a crown of marigolds on my head, and then you said, as you tried to pull your bloody hands away" Sonic is laying against the only tree in sight, a big bloody wound in his abdomen with Tails trying to stop the bleeding. And then when the chorus comes in again, it's Sonic comforting Tails while he bleeds out on a battlefield. When Tails asked "I wonder if you'll leave me, behind someday, among the wildflowers and lilies, sleeping by the way" he meant like runaway and abandon him on an adventure, not die in a burning flower field you idiot ಥ⁠_⁠ಥ

Blue Hair, TV Girl

For maximum feels, listen to Vanilla Twilight directly after listening to this

I feel like a lot of y'all are already gonna know this one, and I respect that. I'm not super sure what this song is actually about but I like their funny words so it's okay lol

This is another song from Sonics POV to me. It's Sonic talking to his friends at different times about Tails growing up and not needing him anymore. In this case, Tails has to "cut her blue hair off" and Sonic is the blue hair if you couldn't tell lol like "and I tried, to hold her, but it didn't really last long, she's getting older. I guess she's gotta cut her blue hair off".

There's also the line right before that one "what seems so blue in the sunlight, by the night was a pale green" blue and green are literally their eye colors this song was meant for them.

This isn't all of them, we'd be here all day if I listed every single one lol. Don't be surprised if I follow up with more song rec posts bc I love talking about music, and please give me some recs as well

[crowsource]

🐦‍⬛ 𝐀 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐘 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 — quotes taken from ava reid's novel. some edits have been made to allow for rp purposes. feel free to adjust for pronouns/names/etc.

❝ It began as all things did: a girl on the shore, terrified and desirous. ❞

❝ The ephemerality of things is what gives them meaning. ❞

❝ They were both creatures of rage and salt and foam. Both could strip me to the bone. ❞

❝ I wanted nothing more than to tempt their wrath, because if I were brave enough, I might earn their love instead. ❞

❝ I was a treacherous, wrathful, wanting thing, just like he was. Just as he had always wanted me. ❞

❝ Although the tide pools had not shown me my face, I had been revealed. ❞

❝ It was fae-like trickery. There was no answer that wouldn’t damn me. ❞

❝ You’re so pretty. You really are. You’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen. Do you know that? ❞

❝ We must discuss, then, the relationship between women and water. When men fall into the sea, they drown. When women meet the water, they transform. It becomes vital to ask: is this a meta-morphosis, or a homecoming? ❞

❝ I wanted to say I don’t believe you. ❞

❝ I wanted to say thank you. ❞

❝ I wanted to say tell me more about who I am because I don’t know anymore. ❞

❝ I could tell the whole story as if it had happened to someone else, and it would be completely painless. ❞

❝ The weight of a memory is one thing. You get very used to swimming with it dragging you down. Once it's loosed, you hardly know what to do with your body. You don't understand its lightness. ❞

❝ You don't have to take up a sword. Survival is bravery, too. ❞

❝ In the end I learned that the water was in me. It was a ghost that could not be exorcised. But a guest, even uninvited, must be attended to. ❞

❝ If you can learn to love that which despises you, you can dance on the shore and play in the waves again, like you did when you were young. ❞

❝ Anything can be taken from you, at any moment. Even the past isn't guaranteed. You can lose that too, slowly, like water eating away at stone. ❞

❝ It saved me in more ways than I can count. Because I knew no matter how afraid I felt, I wasn't truly alone. ❞

❝ Are there any ships on the horizon? Will they signal back to me? I never got the chance to know. ❞

❝ But stories were devious things, things with agendas. They could cheat and steal and lie to your face. They could crumble away under your feet. ❞

❝ I wish I had fought. ❞

❝ I know I beat him in the end, but for so many years all I could do was run and hide. I just sat there and let the water pour in around me. ❞

❝ I didn’t know that I could fight back. I didn’t know how to do anything but wait to drown. ❞

❝ Every wanting man has the same wound he can use to slip in. ❞

❝ I wanted you, too. For so long. It was terrible. ❞

❝ Sometimes I could barely eat—sorry, I know that sounds like the strangest thing. But for days I didn't feel hungry at all. I was... occupied. ❞

❝ You took away all the other wanting from me. ❞

❝ It was a beautiful house, but not a clever one. It was a house with no imagination. ❞

❝ Fear could make a believer of anybody. ❞

❝ Didn't all drownings begin with a harmless dribble of water? ❞

❝ There's very little worse than when our heroes fail us, is there? ❞

❝ Men just say whatever they want and everyone believes them. ❞

❝ Love transcends petty theological squabbles. ❞

❝ But if fairies and monsters were real, so were the women who defeated them. ❞

❝ It doesn't matter. I'm not afraid to care about you. ❞

❝ It's very hard to believe something when it feels like the whole world is trying to convince you otherwise. ❞

❝ You're not just one thing. Survival is something you do, not something you are. ❞

❝ You're brave and brilliant. You're the most real, full person I've ever met. ❞

❝ The sea is treacherous, but women are even more treacherous. ❞

❝ You don't see yourself very clearly. ❞

❝ Challenging me isn't pestering. I'm not always right. Sometimes I deserve to be challenged. And changing your mind isn't foolish. It just means you've learned something new. ❞

❝ Everyone changes their mind sometimes, as they should, or else they're just, I don't know, stubborn and ignorant. ❞

❝ Moving water is healthy; stagnant water is sickly. Tainted. ❞

❝ If you want to see what you are, look into the tide pools at dusk. Look into the sea. ❞

❝ I will love you to ruination. ❞

❝ You can die as easily of thirst as you can of drowning. ❞

❝ Love is a fire that cannot burn alone. ❞

❝ The better you know someone, the more terribly you could hurt them. ❞

❝ You don't have to love something in order to devote yourself to it. ❞

❝ A romance is a belief in the impossible: that anything ends happily. ❞

❝ If a story repeated itself so many times over, building itself up brick by brick, did it eventually become the truth? A house with no doors and no windows, offering no escape. ❞

❝ How terrible, to navigate the world without a story to comfort you. ❞

❝ That was the cruelest irony: the more you did to save yourself, the less you became a person worth saving. ❞

❝ I was a woman when it was convenient to blame me, and a girl when they wanted to use me. ❞

❝ I believe you. ❞

❝ Things are only beautiful because they don't last. Full moons, flowers at bloom. You. ❞

[flower-sunflower-blog]

Why is s!Ryan and s!Void's relationship so weird ? (yet so freaking interesting)

If you want to know more about what I’m talking about, I invite you to check this document : https://docs.google.com/document/d/1pFSLu0cGEQP8ToTjyuUtl2Cd5NtIF6RiEdQPcOWQJGU/edit#heading=h.z8qa7ptiwi2a I’ll mainly be referencing the events during the “love and hate” part of the lore. Take in note that I’m still not fully updated on everything and might have missed some clues in the meantime.

First I have to talk about s!Void : they’re really present through everything and during important moments of the lore, and seems to be aware about a lot of things. The way their character was portrayed was really interesting to me.

They seem to be genuinely kind and well meaning, while remaining in a passive position. Most of the time they wish for the best for their friends, for instance they express their support to s!Cherry when she’s arguing with the gods, but at the same time they just seems to know s!Cherry can’t win.

They seem to resign themself to the fact that things are as they are. They don’t really seem to take sides either, mostly just hoping that everyone will just get in a mutual agreement at the end. And they help to achieve that when they can, but otherwise they just stay behind.

That's how I interpreted their involvement through the first impactful events.

On the other hand, s!Ryan is not really on the “good” side. She plans revenge on those who did her wrong according to her. She expressed only caring about herself, and I think she manipulates people around her to get them to serve her best interests.

(I hope I can one day go more into how I interpret her character, ‘cause there is much more to it and I think she’s really interesting. It's not that I don't have a lot of theories about her, it's actually the opposite : I have way too much, so much to say it's a mess to talk about)

Then at one point, s!Ryan proposed to s!Void. It was during the whole “Claude's custody” issue. At this moment, it seemed rather interested from s!Ryan, as way to get a stronger grip on Claude. Since s!Void was one of the co-parent and the one s!Ana trusted with Claude's supervision until she settled custody rights.

As a response, s!Void were clear about how they needed time to think about it. At first, Void wasn’t enthusiastic about it. Altho they were not firmly against it, they were really confused and even a bit scared of how pressuring s!Ryan would be to get what she wants.

In the meantime, s!Void let s!Ryan take care of Claude since she didn’t had him for a while, their decision appeased the tensions for the time being.

That day, after heading back to Gingerville, she said she was thinking of a way to "kidnap/make Claude disappear”, hiding him to keep her for herself. But she had to think of a way to do that without making it too obvious, as an option she suggested “frame it on someone else”.

From there, Claude just remained at Gingerville under s!Ryan's care. Nothing much happened for a while, we didn’t get any news. Until, out of the blue, while she was arguing with Moo, she revealed that Claude had died ??

And I do not believe it.

And trust me, I’m not just saying it as in “being in denial”. For me, it doesn’t make any logical sense.

I mean, how could he have died ? He was staying over s!Ryan’s the whole time. And surely s!Ryan would have taken good care of him, she expressed how she didn't have anybody besides him, how much she care for him and such. And IF he really had died, she still seems to take it way too calmly considering how important he was for her.

In addition to everything, one of the last interactions we had between this moment, and the last time we saw Claude, was s!Ryan saying she wanted to make him disappear and find a way to make it convincing. It would make sense she would make up a lie like this. It would be convincing, since people know how Claude is important to her, she wouldn't be suspected as the cause of his death. And meanwhile, she could have him hidden in a secret place. (after all, we already know she have access to secret places on her own)

If you’re wondering why I talk about Claude’s death being a lie, when this is supposed to be about s!Void and s!Ryan, well…..keep it in mind, for me this is really important.

Then, s!Void and s!Ryan got officialy engaged. According to s!Ryan, s!Void changed their mind after having a discussion with her, and would have realized since then that they actually wanted to get married.

And that’s where things are off, and that this situation gets really suspicious.

Do you remember how I said that s!Void seems to be kind hearted, and overall taking a passive position and hoping for everyone to get in a mutual agreement at the end ? While s!Ryan is only thinking about her own interests, and activily manipulating people around to serve the said interests ?

If something is really off, it’s not really from the fact that two opposed characters could be in a relationship with one another. After all, why not ?

It's more about how s!Void attitude doesn’t align with their previous actions, and how they were portrayed until then. And there are two main reasons for that :

First, that shift was way to sudden. Of course they could have been convinced in the end. But going from being hesitant, confused and honestly scared about this situation, to being completely willing to get married, and happy about it, after one conversation ? That's still reaaaaaally drastic.

Second Claude’s death. You know how I think Claude's death is a lie and why I think that way now ? But thing is, s!Void ALSO said that Claude was dead. The only conclusion would be that if s!Ryan is lying about Claude, then s!Void is taking part of it and lying aswell.

For this last point, we could argue that they just believed s!Ryan when she told them, as other characters did when they mentioned Claude’s death. But s!Void was one of Claude’s main caretaker, and was probably more involved and present with Claude than the others. So surely they would know better.

And them confirming it is not sufficient to convince me that it's indeed the truth. All the inconsistancies with this version still remain. Moreover, if we can doubt s!Ryan, s!Void likely would have been a responsible caretaker when they were in s!Ryan's and Claude's company, as it is kinda implied that s!Void spend time at Gingerville with s!Ryan, where Claude was aswell.

And that doesn’t sound like s!Void. Again, from what we saw until now, they're not the type of person that would purposefully spread a lie, nor actively acting according to Ryan's wants.  

But s!Void is not being manipulated either, nor brainwashed.

When they talked about this with s!Moo (well, for me it was Moo not aware this was lore xD), she asked them both if this was really what they wanted deep inside. s!Ryan and s!Void just stared at each other without saying anything.  

s!Void answered “listen, I trust Ryan unlike…some people”. And when s!Void stayed with Moo after s!Ryan left, they said they’ll be find and revealed their main goal was to support s!Ryan and being here for her. 

They still seems to be kind and well meaning. They were really nice to Moo, preventing s!Ryan to go too hard on her, and wished her the best. They seems to have good attention, since apparently they want to help s!Ryan in the end.

It seems like while apparently associating to her, they didn't adopt Ryan's mindset and doesn't condone all of her actions. But still, taking actively part of Ryan's schemes in the process doesn't align with their character for me.

And while I'm not totally closed to the possibility that I've been mistaken about s!Void this all time, or that their character reveal through a twist they were never what they pretended to be, for now I'm leaning to this theory :

It seems like s!Void doesn’t “really” want to get married in reality BUT still makes this decision willingly, as well as willingly siding with s!Ryan. It's certainly for a reason, a reason that came out during this "conversation", a reason that is still unknown to us.

And then, the pinterest boards

I didn’t get much into it yet. Not that I forgot, it’s because I’m STILL processing them xD Both are complex, enigmatic and with a lot of elements, and a lot of possible connection with other hints

But what make them really special is that they look really alike, strangely alike. Some “hints” seemed to be shared.

s!Void's board :

s!Ryan's board

s!Ryan's board seems lighter, while s!Void's darker. But there is certain elements you can kinda link to one another : the sun, the moon, the astrals in general for instance.

But the biggest clue is this picture, which is actually in BOTH boards :

A black hand, that I'm suspecting to be the a representation of the "god" s!Ryan's is in contact with for a while.

It's to wonder if s!Void and s!Ryan actually had a contact with the same entity. Was it pure coincidence ? Or could it be s!Ryan who caused it ?

Something is up, still. Something way above us it seems. That is still to uncover.

But while s!Ryan's board is more linked to the sun, her color pattern as well, s!Void's is rather giving a "moon" vibe, and their color pattern as well. And they both have opposed personnality.

There is a lot of symbolic here in my opinion. Their relationship is not to be underestimated in their complexity. I think there is something deeper, more mystical that made their path cross.

Last element I wanted to get into :

I said that might be lore, I had a good reason thinking that.

Void and Ryan both look at the sky on this picture. And then, notice how Ryan didn’t say “me and Void” but “me and the void”. "Me and THE void". That made me wonder if she's actually referring to the concept of the void. And if she's actually referring to Void, well maybe somehow Void and THE void are one ?

For me, that’s Ryan’s storytelling core : she posts things, or say things lightly, as if they didn't have any significance, thus convincing people they don't have any significance. But often, Ryan as well as s!Ryan is not to be underestimated, and details like this could matter.

I think there is something up with the "void", s!Ryan may be connected to it, aswell as s!Void of course. It could even possibly be part of what have connected them.

And since I mentioned the void, here is s!Void rather interesting main image from their board :

Again, I think there is something to dig about everything, s!Void's real nature and much more.

And last minute thought : there is members that go by multiple names. Among them, Shade and Dapper, Pomme and Lumi, and Void and Shaded. For Shade and Lumi, it doesn't mean anything lorewise for sure.

But Void and Shaded, well it's not so sure there is nothing behind it. It could be, sure, but at the same time it's no confirmed it doesn't, you know ? Maybe there is a deeper meaning of why Shaded also go by "Void" ? Just putting it here.

So, as a conclusion :

I think s!Void is purposefully siding with s!Ryan, the conversation they had gave them a reason too, a reason we still don’t know about. It’s not manipulation or possession, s!Void seems to be aware of what they’re doing. But this motivation seems to be enough for them to start acting really differently from how they acted before, going from a passive position, to an active one.

And this connect about something way more deeper, that is for me the general mystery about s!Ryan. Who is she ? WHAT is she ? Who is the god she's in contact with ? How did she get in contact with them ? Why does she act this way ? And how is s!Void linked to everything ?

[galvanizedfriend]

hi, yokan <3

I read that in Brazil there's a week-break because of carnival, therefore I hope you're finally having a bit of rest!

I was wondering if you could post an outtake with the klaroeve scene? from you comment I understood that there was more than that little scene in the latest chapter, and I would LOVE to read it!

sorry if I sound rude or pressuring, it's not my intention at all :(( I'm just Eve's third parent, I need more scenes with my babygirl being adorable 😭😭

I totally get why you don't put more of her in the main story. I ALWAYS say that babyplots are terrible due to a lot of factors, one of them being the constant present of a baby who basically does nothing (rightfully, since, yk, it went out of the whomb last year) and that adds nothing to the plot but just terrible fan service.

I think most people would agree with this, maybe even you!

HOWEVER, my little wolf/fish/mermaid is THE exception and I would love to see more of her, and, since u have a series dedicated to those fluffy moments that don't exactly fits with the plot, I really wish you will post something there 😭😭

sorry for bothering you, I hope you'll have a good day!

P.S.

totally off-topic but I also read some of your comments in Portuguese (AT LEAST I think it's Portuguese 😭) and I understood like 80% of it, privileges of being Italian ‼‼ so lol now you really can't escape me >:)

Yes, it's Carnaval right now! It's a nearly weak-long holiday, but it sadly ends on Wednesday. 😢 And I was technically on call yesterday, so 😂 But I am very much enjoying not doing anything 🤷‍♀️

About the baby thing, yes. 😂 I've been so lucky to get some passionate readers almost from the start with this fic and to have people who are still reading it a ton of years later, but I've also had to read some very mean things over the years that have stuck with me. It has made me extremely self-conscious about this story. I sometimes find myself almost apologizing for writing it, like I'm commiting some kind of crime against fandom or like I should be banned for inflicting this upon people for as long as I have. I wish I could be the kind of person who just doesn't care and remains blissfully unbothered, but I'm not. I'm not a naturally confident person in any way, and that kind of thing does get to me.

It's gotten better, of course. I care a lot less now than I used to, and the fic is not as popular as it was a few years ago either, so there's that But some of that stuff has just ingrained itself into my brain. Objectively I know this is stupid and I don't owe anybody anything, I don't have to apologize for writing a fanfiction for god's sake. There's room for everyone in fandom. I can have a corner to rewrite the show and have a magical Klaroline baby, fuck it. Who cares, you know? But it's almost stronger than me sometimes, I don't realize I'm doing it. I get this feeling that I need to be more critical otherwise people are going to think it's ridiculous and OOC and nobody's gonna want to read it anymore and etc etc. It's exhausting. And it's obviously nobody's fault, it's just me in my own head, but that's how it goes.

The scene you're talking about in particular. I had it written years ago. Literal years, maybe 2021 or early 2022. Some of my friends had even already read it a loooong time before the chapter was finished. And I was convinced that it was so cute and totally fine. Then as I wrapping up the chapter, I started getting this itch that it was actually ridiculous and the folks who had read it didn't say anything because they were being nice, they didn't want to hurt my feelings, and I had to get delete it. So I did. In all truth, I think the chapter is more polished like this. But then I removed a family scene and ended up writing smut that also had no place in the chapter, so. 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, I'm sorry for the rambly response. 🥲 I'll tell you this: I will read the deleted scene again and if I feel it's not dumpster-fire bad, I will post it here. But I need to check it first, because there is chance that it's not just my paranoid head telling me to get rid of the baby scenes and it really is just that bad. 😂

And as for the last part, yes, it's Portuguese. It's my native language. And it's so funny how Italian, Spanish and Portuguese can be so similar. I understand Spanish much better than Italian, but I do get some of it as well. Latin languages 🤜🤛 (except French, I don't understand French at all 😂)

[ritualcaster]

Im a man of my word.

DAY 1.

Although I'm writing this down, it's only a courtesy to any who may find this journal. Today Isn't something I think I'll ever forget.

We got lucky. Oh so very lucky. The trains were still running when I sent for Cattail and our colleauges in high society, most of them managed to make it out before the rings were declared a quarantine zone. That said, we didn't get everybody, and not nearly enough either. Cattail hasn't left the guest bedroom I lent him since he got here, he didn't have time to go back for Eden or his wife so I can hardly say I'd fare any better.

For some reason, Fossil stayed behind willingly, presumably to research and possibly find a cure. If anybody can do that, its her. Our communications were cut by rioters before she could fully explain.

We had no response from carrot.

DAY 20.

Theres nothing i can do from here except

Trek there by foot and lead my own rescue mission.

Push has advised against it... strongly...

I can't just leave them.

I have supplies for 2 months.

DAY 23.

Cattail was already packed when I went to tell him I was leaving. I wasn't able to convince him otherwise, but I won't deny I'm happy to have his help.

Cattail knows those outskirts better than anybody. I'm glad we're both omnivores.

Cattail and I fully planned this mission from top to bottom with 3 main goals in mind, save "Eden" and her best friend, dynamite, collect data on the situation, and find at least one sample to bring back.

I originally planned to set up more reliable contact with fossil as well, but Cattail decided traveling into high society would be too dangerous and limited me to as far as the middle ring. To be truthful, I was not expecting him to be this level headed, all things considered.

If possible, although dangerous, we will attempt to bring back other surviviors from the center ring as well.

DAY 24.

We set out for travel today, and, to go back on my word, we did not set out on foot.

Who doesn't love a good off-roading trip in a car that may-or-may-not belong to your boss?

DAY 26.

We can see the rings from here.

We will not be traveling to the center ring.

DAY 28.

We parked the jeep near the wall and decided to climb instead of using the main entrance to avoid rioters and a paniced mob, Cattail and I decided to split up for exactly 24 hours, and meet back here, I suggested it because I was worried Cattail wouldn't survive an encounter with whatever these things are.

DAY 29.

They got my fucking eye.

Excuse my profanity.

I managed 2 different samples

The first was by far less dangerous, I stalked one for about 4 hours, and managed to catch what seems to be some kind of maggot that fell off of it as it rounded a corner.

The second was stationary it was completley different than the first, with multiple roaming around it, almost gaurding it as i observed from the rooftop.

But even more worriesome were the "spikes", maybe "stingers"? Regardless, I watched a crow get a little too close, they both lunged at it midair and before long the crow was nothing but rotting flesh.

I should have backed down there, but I was determined, I took the crossbow from my bag, I only brought one bolt, not expecting this kind of foe. With two paper clips, a rubberband, and a long piece of stitching thread from the medkit I managed to create something extrordinary, a crossbow bolt with two paper clips on it. It was enough to get a small sample, so i don't think it mattered. I climbed down from the roof top, carefully avoiding the ones roaming around, and staying well out of reach of the stingers, I fired the bolt at the main structure, then yanked it back with the thread, as for how I lost my eye, every single one that was roaming around the structure made a beeline for mee as soon as the bolt hit the main structure. I "shelled up" a little too late. After attacking me for what seemed like years, the parasites eventually left me alone.

I'm never coming back here again.

DAY 30.

I didn't realize the full extent of the damage I took yesterday until i was done writing, they didn't just get my eye, they cracked the back of my shell aswell. I must have been in shock because this is incredibly painful. My shell has taken hits from bears, beastials, and once even a "false king" on my missions and never once has my shell taken any damage more than a scratch.

Cattail managed to find the two we came for, albiet not in the best state. Eden looked so different that i originally didn't recognize her, and not just in the maturity sense, she had apperently completely changed forms multiple times since I last saw her, I always assumed Cattail was exagerating, but this truly isnt normal even for her object type. I'll have to talk with her about that later.

We made it back to the jeep and from there we were home free, just a three day drive back.

DAY 32.

Those kids apperently worked up an appetite because we ended up having to forage multiple times. We packed for *two months* what happened to these two?

I tried making conversation, but all three of them seemed to be out of it, even more so than myself!

DAY 33.

It's worse than i thought

We arrived home and unpacked, but as soon as the two walked inside cattail pulled me aside and told me what had happened too them in such a short amount of time. How it spread so quickly terrified me, and i later checked the samples, which had both "died".

I feel horrible for not leaving earlier.

Its a lot harder than you'd think to write with one eye. I'll leave these three alone for awhile while i get my eye fixed, they need time.

DAY 34.

I got in contact with pin, and they respawned me in treatment as a quick fix as per push' suggestion. My eye was fixed but for some reason I still had all my scars and my shell had visible "fuse" lines.

When I asked about it they shrugged.

I need a better doctor.

Day 35.

I woke up in push' office, I talked with push in person, and she told me the goverment of reaching gardens is seizing my samples, but push should still have a say over what happens to them from her position.

I don't know what I was expecting really.

I'll stay with push for now, They need space.

DAY 36.

Who knew push could cook?

Anyway after we studied the sample all we could see was printer materials and not much else. Honestly if these things are made by terminals Fossil might actually have a chance, esspecially with carrot helping her! Luckily already cut off the terminals from the rings, we got readings they weren't functioning properly and cut the connection weeks before the outbreak. Who knows what would hablve happened if we didnt.

With just these two samples and limited knowledge om terminal coding and function, this is all the research we can do for now

DAY 37.

I asked cattail for updates today, and they had gone to court without telling me. Accirding to Cattail dynamite had snuck out shortly after i left and confessed to an officer, but all charges the were dropped as soon as they heard he was from the rings.

I can only imagine how guilty he must feel.

I began planning a second "rescue mission" with push. I may not enjoy it but I'm obligated regardless.

DAY 38.

Neither of us slept at all.

We're looking to rescue as many people as legally and physically possible but with our sparce resources the most we're looking at

Is two helicopters and a few ground vehicles.

I called shotgun

DAY 39.

With each passing minute i'm getting more and more anxious to leave. I won't let this situation progress any further.

Push managed to haggle the government into three times the resources if we bring back a live sample, but i have no idea how we'll make it into center ring let alone high society even with those resources.

DAY 40.

Everything is in place to leave

We're bringing extra food this time

Cattail decided to stay here with mushroom and dynamite after I urged him these resources were plenty and his help wasn't needed.

I may have been too harsh, I'm not good at lying.

DAY 41.

Writing [???] helicopter [???]

[??????]

they [???] really big tank

[????????????????]

DAY 44.

I apologize for my previous notes, the "tank" i mentioned is a glass tank they gave us last second for the live sample, its very small so I have no idea how we'll manage. Perhaps my eyesight hasn't fully recovered quite yet, but writing from a helicopter is surprisingly difficult.

The land party went in though the gate this time, they were armed, but for the most part it was seemingly empty.

This mission is going WAY better than last time so far, we're already just outside the center ring!

DAY 45.

Our radios picked up a short message,

But it went to static to quickly to understand or respond, they reffered to these things as "parasites" which seems much more accurate than "those things" so I'll use that from now on.

When we first got into the center ring, our windows fogged up completely, we actually had to land. typically the rings arent nearly this humid.

We decided to set up camp at the center ring, that way if things go south, we can too! So far, no survivors, we have gunned down about three of these things now, but we switched to a handheld flamethrower push brought (???) Because the noise was attracting parasites and possibly scaring off survivors.

That radio signal gave me an idea though

DAY 45.

Push's flamethrower has been incredibly effective at keeping them at bay while I broadcasted our location over the radio with a short message about the situation.

The first too arrive was a group of 5.

4 adults, one child.

When they arrived the set up their own section of camp without a word. One of them was severely injured, but we fixed him up ok. He'll live for now.

That kid and her chalk is getting pretty annoying.

DAY 46.

I suggested we move into high society but push was against it. Shes the one rrunning this mission so I couldn't really argue.

We had 2 seperate groups of survivors arrive today, but they seemed to know each other. Why is everything with these survivors so complicated?

The first too arrive were two girls that I was afraid to make eye contact with. They were a lot more talkative then the previous group, I explained that we were a rescue party from reaching gardens, they offered too help defend camp while we waited for more survivors.

The second group was much larger, and all three groups keep giving each other dirty looks. They all seem to know each other and not in a good way. Im debating leaving these guys if we get over crowded...

DAY 46

We were debating whether or not it was time to try and capture one alive when a smaller fellow wandered in, and I do mean wandered, he's the only one that not here from the radio signal.

We were warned by two of the previous groups about him, but not in any particular way, just that he was somehow more dangerous than he looked. With thise warnings in mind, I gladly put him in the tank. Temporarily of course. I picked him up with one hand to do so, I am unsure if this guy is dangerous in any way, but better safe than sorry...

DAY 47.

We were almost at max capacity and debating leaving and coming back later, when we were alerted by one of the pilots that something was coming, A massive horde of parasites was headed directly for us, but even more importantly just ahead of the massive horde was a jeep going faster than i have ever seen a jeep go.

Fossil you crazy bastard.

She made it too us well before the horde did, and we left immedeatly.

I avoided writing this one until we landed.

DAY 50.

We made it back, and with bullets to spare.

I was getting tired of gunshots.

We didnt manage to get a live sample though, so Push is about to have to pay so much money.

I kept that weirdo in the tank, maybe he's enough of a specimen.

DAY 51.

He was a specimen.

We scanned everybody for infectiom when we got back using an invention of fossils.

He was the only one who came up positive.

My luck has come though a suspicious amount of times now...

DAY 52.

That weirdo, "Wagyu" he said, is probably the strangest person I have ever met. Although, considering the circumstances, that does make sense.

From what we can tell, wagyu isnt infected quite like the others, for some reason, the thousands of parasites crawling all over him won't mutate him at all.

[cmbdragon98]

Please tell us more about how your wife tricked you into dating her

So, setup, details all under cut, cuz it's a bit lengthy. Fun story though!

Tumblr circa 2015. Junior year of high school. I've convinced myself that dating is NOT for me, and that I should just wait until college to fuck around and find out. Just gone through a nasty little emotional breakup where in the near future, I'll wish that thar 2nd ever relationship was simply, entirely expunged from my life.

Paige, known as benedict-cutiebatch here, makes a post about being bored and wanting asks sent her way. Send your best pickup line. This was back when people sent eachother asks willy-nilly. I think, "Oh, sure, I've seen this person around, she seems alright. I'll send something funny and stupid, maybe make her laugh."

Send the "hot leg, hot hot leg" poem thing. She is so amused by it, she asks for my hand in marriage. Yaddayaddayadda, back and forth of just playing around pretend times. I have a lot of lighthearted fun. Cue the interaction ending, and us doing our separate things again. A week or so passes, and I've been specifically checking her blog. I don't do that with anybody else. This is a new habit I've picked up, because I loved the silly fake marriage tee hee haha joke.

Send an ask saying as such. She expresses similar sorta thing on her end. And we start talking again. Talking waaaayyy mooorree.

We talk fully through the night. No sleep. We talk fully through that next day. Eventually we exchange Skypes, because that's what everyone did in 2015. Flirting through the roof. Terribly blatant. Oml. But we're not dating, we're just. Completely all up in eachother. And I'm perfectly convinced that this girl probably just wants to enjoy the fun of somebody being bluntly into her, but not actually follow through further then that, and we'd just remain terribly forward friends with eachother, and that's how life goes sometimes.

Until I recieve an anon ask, that basically asks if me and her are dating and how c u t e we both seem to be, and I Assume that this is an unrelated third party, because, again. It was just waaay more common to recieve asks like that, back when I was a teenager. I respond to it all...

"L o l, naaahh.... b u t... It's not a Bad Idea.... 👀"

Anon sends another ask all... You should! You should try asking!

I think nothing of it, I take it as quite genuine advice that I do frankly agree with. And so. That's what my ass did. Asked Paige out in the most goofy, awkward way, after sending her screenshots of the anons, all "Haha, omgg, isn't this just sOoOoOo CrazyYyYy?? How Silly, hahaha.......... Unless.....?"

Fast forward like 2 years later into us being together, she's visiting me while I'm at college, we've Been seeing eachother, we've been having fun! So much fun!

She's sat on my lap while we're waiting on a ride back to my home, outside at a table and chairs; my ass fucking commuted. It's winter, and terribly cold in NY. I'm holding her close, and she starts saying something like... "Hey, you wanna hear something kinda fucked up...?"

I'm intrigued, of course, I'm like. Shoot, okay! I'm all ears.

Tells me that She was the one who sent those anons, and that she had a feeling I wouldn't Just Ask without being prompted. She, as she put it herself, lied to and tricked me. And she's clearly all broken up over it a bit, because she's sounding so hesitant as she tells me it.

I just sigh, hug her tighter, and I'm honest. Recalling best I can, I think it was something along the lines of...

"Thank goodness you did that, because you were totally right. I was too nervous otherwise, to just do that myself. And I would've kept on thinking you only wanted somebody to flirt with. I liked you too much. I didn't want to accidentally ruin anything between us."

Poor thing starts crying. So I just keep holding her, and telling her I love her, and that I'm r e a l l y not upset, after she says she was so worried that I would be, that I'd hate her, or think our relationship was built on a lie. I just see it as a perfectly reasonable thing to do, when someone too stuck in not doing the wrong thing, is too afraid to just ask for what she wants.

So yeah, basically, I got led into a relationship with a carrot and then a box slammed down around me, and I was completely chill with it the entire time. I truly was just having a blast.

[selodka-pod-shuboy]

listen

"the distortionist" by ghost and pals fits Helen so well

we dont know if once entering the mirror she broke it (mag 047), but if we interpret like she did (which can be seen as a big stretch, i will admit) the song fits almost perfectly: while she is a victim of distortion, the Helen that is left is no longer her, and although she does help the main crew throught seasons 4 and 5, she is not doing that with no ill intent. its all just a facade for her lies. most lyrics can be her telling the archivist her last words, her excuseon why she shouldnt be obliterated by the ceasless watcher.

"In all this madness, it's madness Oh-ho, it's sickening, it's sickening You know it's unfair, it's unfair How you distorted my reflection You know it's too late"

could be her interpretation of what happened to her the second time she was in the corridors and the moment she opens her own door for the first time.

"You're lost in a world of funhouse mirrors, twisted for eternity Bending light in a way that shows refraction of hypocrisy"

just her first encounter with the corridors.

"Whimsical, dear, your lies are clear, now, who the hell would've ever guessed? Play my games and abide my ways, there's no way you can compensate (One, two, three, break)"

could be Jon saying his last words to her and the first time this lyric appeares can be how she tells him that he cant do anything in her own domain, and:

"And sure, I'm the one who swung the metal bat But hey, I can't control the urge! Nobody's gonna blame me for that"

could be Jon knowing there are no dire consequences for destroying Helen, which also circles back to how Helen freed Jon from Micheal in her first appearance as the distortion

anyway thank you for reading through my ramblings i just think its really neat whenever songs fit certain characters/situations and had to share. id love to hear if you have anything to add. also i know that you're not really into tma as you were a few months ago and i know you did playlists regarding the fears but i cant seem to find them so i apologise if you added this one already and did an analysis for a possible interpretation but it has not left for a quite a bit now

Thank you so much for sharing this, dear friend!

Feel free to drop more of those, they are a delight to read! I agree on almost every point, except for the last one - I would argue that it's in fact still Helen, trying to convince Jon, that it's in her very nature to distort and lie, and that he, or anybody on their level (watchers) can't be mad or judgemental at her for potentially having ill intent (she so does).

Similarly to this she also would use:

"Ignorant atrocities and colorless apologies

This isn't what it looks to be

I'm not as cruel as you see me"

I would like to add some other thoughts on the lyrics

"The truth projected through a lens with nothing proving otherwise"

Like, only way Jon was able to kill her so fast, was due to her accidentally burping out a genuine lie, that was not in any way distorted or concealed, nor cleverly and nicely folded into paranoia. It could as well be plain truth to him, and the lens that he was looking through.

"Stuck in a spotlight brighter than the smile no one ever saw"

Giving The Great Twisting and Sanikov Land

[destinygoldenstar]

My thoughts on Total Drama Next Generation cast so far

I said this before, I don’t like making judgements on characters until I’ve seen a full episode. So I don’t want to say I love or hate anybody just yet.

I also said that these looked like children of past cast members because of similar design features, and I stand by that still.

For clarification:

-Millie is the Lesharold kid, because of Leshawna’s body type, skin tone, and hair, and she has Harold’s hair fringe

-Ripper is the Nowen kid. EVERYONE has said this. And Ripper? JACK THE RIPPER, HELLO?

-Axel is the Duncney kid. HEAR ME OUT. She has Courtney’s skin tone. She has Duncan’s piercings. Duncan’s eye shape but Courtney’s eye color. She has a black top like Duncan did, and she has a white undershirt like Courtney did. The body shape is Courtney’s! 

-Chase is the MikexZoey kid. That may be a stretch, but to be, he has Mike’s face and skin tone, Mike influenced hair (even if it’s not exact), and he’s wearing red like Zoey did. How he’s more buff than Mike...? Idk, maybe that’s from his mom’s side.

-Caleb is the StephaniexRyan kid. I don’t think I need to explain this one. But good lord, if he’s actually their kid, then that’s a SERIOUS abusive household backstory he has going on. Maybe Caleb’s considered ‘the hot one’ by everyone as a way to cope with this, even if deep down, he’s a bisexual man. If you’ve seen the other poster I can’t show for internet reasons, I think you know what I’m talking about.

-Nichelle is the GwenxCameron kid. I DO NOT like the ship, but I can’t ignore this. Cameron’s skin tone, Gwen’s eyes. How her hair is blonde...? Idk, Gwen’s hair is dyed, so she might have been born blonde. 

-Julia is the SamxDakota kid. Idk, she just gives that vibe to me. I like the ripped jeans as well, I think that’s the best way I can explain it. Plus it’s cute to me.

-Bowie is the LeonardxTammy kid. Leonard’s skin. Leonard’s head. Tammy’s hair. 

-Wayne is the Gidgette kid. I WANTED to say that Wayne and Raj are brothers, BUT then Wayne wouldn’t be a Gidgette kid because Raj has NOTHING resembling Geoff or Bridgette. 

-Raj, but he DOES have a GeoffxBrody vibe. That’s WIERD to think about anyway. But hey, maybe they share the same dad in Geoff and they’re a happy surfer trio

Bridgette: “This is my husband Geoff and his husband Brody”

-Emma, a LindsayxBeth kid?? I WANT to say Lindsay and Tyler, but no, there’s nothing Tyler about her. She has Beth’s body type and side, and I don’t think I need to explain the blonde hair and blue eyes. I WOULD say Carrie and Devin because of the chin, but Carrie doesn’t have blue eyes, and neither does Devin.

-MK. THIS is the girl I have my eyes on. I am not the biggest Ezekiel fan, BUT with that said, she IS ‘Reverse Ezekiel’. You cannot convince me otherwise. She has the beanie and sweater, giving a homeschool vibe, just like Zeke did. I DO NOT think she’s Ezekiel’s ‘kid’, but she could be related to him. In that sense, I think they could do with her what they didn’t do with Zeke. 

In that sense, MK’s a finalist. She’s lasting to the very end.

The others, I don’t know yet. Damien MIGHT be a Lightning kid, but I don’t know for sure. (And no AleHeather kid? Me sad :( )

Now for my thoughts on the designs and names:

I love the designs. I know they’re not as out there as Paketiew, but I love them for that. These look like teenagers that could exist in the real world. These look like relatable characters.

And tbh, the reason I never included the other gens in my tier lists was because I never had much to say about them. I don’t count Ridonculous Race since that’s a spin off, BUT I do like that cast too, for the most part. 

The problem ISN’T ‘new gen casts and ditching the old cast is bad’. Danganronpa has 3 main games, ALL with new casts, and they’re ALL good in their own ways. It’s that the new casts are just not interesting characters compared to the first gen. They could have been! 

The Revenge cast is fine, but they’re horribly underutilized, especially with giving them only 13 episodes and jumping into All Stars.

And Paketiew... well, to be nice about it, I HATE the Paketiew cast. Except maybe Jasmine & Shawn. But that’s it. 

So, with 2 new seasons for this cast, this COULD be a redemption, to make this cast as loveable as the OGs. They’ll have the screen time to achieve that.

The names though? I’m... mixed on that. 

I like some of the names. Priya, Axel, Chase, Zee, Caleb, Nichelle, Julia, I LOVE those. Those are great.

But unless Nowen’s related, Ripper just... does NOT give a Ripper vibe to me. That might be a me issue. He could end up being my favorite character.

Scary Girl...

This MIGHT be a plot twist later on what her real name is, or it could be a gag, BUT, if it’s NOT, then what the heck is the point? Give her a real name! Until we find out, I’m calling her Quinn!

We have another Emma. Come on, why not Emily? That’s similar, but we don’t have an Emily yet. Maybe she has a nickname like Em? That’d work.

And then Bowie’s just a me problem. That doesn’t slip off the tongue well for me.

And for who I think the finalists are?

Like I said, MK. And...?

IDK, ROTI had two boys, so maybe this has two girls to balance things out?

In that sense, MAYBE Axel. She gives quite a but of main character vibes for me. But I’m not counting on it. All I know is that she’s probably, definitely, merging.

I feel like Millie, Ripper, Quinn, & Caleb are also merging. I would put my money on Caleb, Axel, and MK being my faves. But again, I’m NOT counting on it yet. I could end up hating them in the show.

Oh, and one last thing, the gay rep that I’m seeing? I’m CONCERNED. SERIOUSLY CONCERNED.

It looks to be Caleb and Bowie from the poster, and if the Caleb character arc I’m thinking of is real, then MAYBE it’ll work and they bring the best in each other. But I’m not getting good vibes from Bowie, and it looks like he’s gonna be a gay joke. 

Please don’t be toxic. Please don’t be toxic. Please don’t be toxic. 

So yeah, that’s all I have to say so far.

[kaseyskat]

hi everyone did anybody else want a sequel to my little henry and teenage lark fic i wrote a few months ago? no? just me? okay well here it is !!

~

Sparrow’s relationship with his father is… complicated. 

It’s been complicated perhaps for several years now, only made more intense by the passing of time. Sparrow is not an idiot– he catches the longing looks that his father sends him when he is not looking, the despair of losing two kids for the price of one, and though Sparrow has always wanted to step back, close that distance…

…he couldn’t. Lark needed him. 

Still, when he jerks awake in the middle of the night, gasping and wheezing as his mind spins with panic, all Sparrow can think about is oh god, I failed. 

He doesn’t get nightmares often– usually, he just doesn’t sleep well enough to dream, too restless. But when he does, they usually tackle the same scenario; Lark, falling, eyes shut, chest still. Sparrow left helpless to watch, reaching out and yet never making it there: his brother, gone, just like the fight with their grandfather all that time ago. It feels irrational, because if anything, Lark has only striven to get stronger, and he’s fully capable of handling things on his own, but… Sparrow still worries, and clearly those worries have infected even his dreams. 

Immediately, as he clutches at his shirt, he squints through the darkness. “Lark?” he calls out quietly; if Lark is sleeping, he doesn’t want to bother him, but Lark sleeps even less than Sparrow does, so there’s a chance that… 

“...whaddya need?” Lark slurs, and as Sparrow slides out of his bed, he catches Lark peering down at him from the top bunk: they had convinced their parents to let them keep the bunk beds even when Sparrow had gotten his own bedroom, because even now Sparrow just doesn’t feel comfortable sleeping on his own. 

Lark seems so tired, though, and a pang of guilt batters at Sparrow’s chest. “...nothing, brother,” he says softly. “Sorry for bothering you. Go back to sleep.” 

Lark makes a soft, noncommittal noise, and as Sparrow peers through the dark, he only has to count to ten before Lark’s nodding back off and once again, Sparrow is alone, standing awkwardly and shuffling on his feet. 

No point in trying to sleep now, he thinks, as the fear still courses through him, the overwhelming urge to sit at his brother’s side almost overtaking his rationale. Maybe I should go get some water and calm the fuck down. 

The night is soothing for him. It’s easy to slip through the shadows, carefully slipping out of the bedroom he shares with his twin, footsteps barely making a squeak on the hardwood floors. Perfecting his sneak attacks had been essential when he was younger, in the Before, when the only thing on his mind was how to defeat his foes. Now, it enables him to glide across the second floor, and to gently tiptoe down the otherwise-echoey staircase. 

Surprisingly, though, the sound of the television is the first thing to greet him, and Sparrow blinks rapidly to shield his eyes from the light of it as he weaves around the bottom of the staircase and to the living room. He could… probably make it if he sticks to tiptoeing behind the couch into the kitchen and is real quiet about getting a glass of water, but out of curiosity, he peers at the tv. 

It’s his father who sits on the couch, curled around one of the pillows. He doesn’t seem particularly interested in the show being broadcasted, and Sparrow tries to watch some of it but… he doesn’t get it. Some old-folk drama. Blegh. 

I could go back, he thinks, as he stares at the top of the couch, biting at his lip. I could… 

In his indecision, his foot catches a loose floorboard, and while the resounding squeak! is quiet on a normal day, the sound is deafening in the otherwise serene nature of the night. Sparrow immediately winces. 

There’s a small moment of reprieve, and then his father is poking his head up over the couch, blinking wearily at him with tired eyes. “...Sparrow?” he questions, and his lips curl into a small, sleepy smile. “Did you need something, bud?” 

“...I had a bad dream,” Sparrow admits. The words spill out of him easily, because who else is he going to tell this to? Who else might care? “I can go–” 

“-do you wanna talk about it?” 

It’s very like his father to ask, and though hesitant, it is very Sparrow-like to agree. Sparrow hasn’t been fully Sparrow-like in awhile though, always part of a whole and not complete on his own, and he only tentatively, cautiously steps across the living room, taking a seat on the couch next to where his father is curled up with clenched fists. 

Does he want to talk? He doesn’t know. It feels scary, a weight on his chest, like if he opens up about one problem another will just take its place, and then another, and then another, until he’s laid his soul bare to the world after years of keeping it locked in his chest, hidden, invisible. He’s not ready for that, not yet. 

“No,” he says, finally, and he can’t look Henry in the eye as he curls his arms over his knees, flopping backwards on the couch. “I… no, not right now. But… what are you watching, Father?” 

“I am watching, uh…” Henry grimaces, and he clicks on the remote that sits next to him, showing the name of the channel and the current program. “Top Ten Dietician Tricks and Tips for the Future?” 

Despite himself, Sparrow snorts. “Father,” he says, his voice dipping into that teasing edge he only has with family. “That’s boring.”

“I just needed the TV on, besides you’d be surprised what you learn from nighttime ads!” Henry defends himself halfheartedly, but he’s smiling, his eyes crinkling around the edges. It’s a sight that’s been sorely lacking in their household for awhile– and one that Sparrow, despite himself, misses dearly. 

“Would you like to watch something else?” Henry offers, when Sparrow doesn’t say anything else. It’s an invitation– tentative, in a way his father has become so tentative and shy recently, walking on his toes around the household in an attempt to keep the peace and give both twins the space they needed. 

Sparrow’s not sure if he ever needed space. Sometimes he misses the intense, burning warmth of being embraced by all members of his family at the same time in the same space. He misses the way his father would pepper kisses against his face with Lark at his side protesting the affection, while his mother watches and sweeps them into hugs if they try to escape. 

He misses them. He wants things to be normal again. 

“No, this is fine, it’s boring enough I might be able to fall asleep again,” Sparrow snorts, and he glances shyly up at his father, biting at his lip. “That is, if I may… stay?” 

“Of course, baby!” Henry says enthusiastically, and he unfurls himself a little, patting a spot next to him, and it is… embarrassing, how quickly Sparrow scoots into the open space, curling into his father’s chest. Henry immediately closes arms around him, and the scent of rosemary and dirt shouldn’t be nearly as soothing as it is, but combined with the warmth, it almost makes Sparrow feel like he’s a little kid again, happily snuggling away with his second-favorite person in the world. 

The TV is still blaring the program that his father had turned on, but Sparrow tunes it out as he shifts in Henry’s arms, inhaling and exhaling. Henry doesn’t say much else, but he does hum a soft lullaby, gently brushing through Sparrow’s hair. 

Maybe, for a night, Sparrow doesn’t have to try so hard to be someone he’s not. Maybe here, he can just be Sparrow again, on his own. Maybe here, he can pretend that nothing’s changed and everything is okay. 

And this time, when he drifts off to sleep in his father’s arms, his sleep is peaceful and dreamless.

[lecterthewhale]

Episode 3 for Oshi no Ko just came out and yes, I’m still in love!

We all guessed it would happen after the first episode, but the pacing for the story is on the slower side. That being said, I appreciate it because it really gives us time to get to know and love these characters better!

To begin with, let’s just look at Arima Kana this episode! Can I just begin by saying that this girl is such a sweetheart??? Like, episode 1 she was such a brat, but this episode? We could see that not only did she have to deal with the consequences of being self-absorbed, but she’s also learned from them and is now such a sweetheart! If that weren’t enough, she’s giving Aqua the chance to get back into acting and I am nothing if not an Aqua Stan, so I support this whole-heartedly.

On top of all of that, though, she’s also so funny and light-hearted(for the most part)! Like, so many of her comments are just so dang funny! From following Aqua after he leaves the school and asking what middle school he’s from to calling out the director for living with his mother to assuming Aqua is gay she’s just such a lighthearted, fun character right now.

That being said, the details!!!! We know Kana lives alone, that she’s struggled with the acting business, that even though she’s doing her best she doesn’t even have an agency and the producer is looking down on her. All of these make it so Kana’s lightheartedness isn’t tasteless in a story that shows the darker side of the entertainment industry—instead it fits beautifully with everything else. Kana hasn’t seen the darkness the way the Hoshinos have so she’s allowed to be more lighthearted and have it make sense, but she isn’t oblivious to it, either. And man oh man I can’t wait for Aqua to bring it next episode!

Which brings us to my boy, Aqua!

Before we get to the fact that he’s acting again(which, whoa, I didn’t expect that to happen so early in the story, but I am in no way upset by it either), can we talk about the cute twin moments with Ruby in this episode???? Just watch that entire beginning scene where the two of them are talking to Kana! The way they both understand each other so well and aren’t ashamed of it, the whispering to each other, the way Aqua shows and feels no shame in admitting that he’s only going to that high school for his sister and she, in turn, feels no awkwardness or embarrassment in casually calling him a siscon? Man, this sibling relationship is just so dang funny and sweet! I love it!

On top of that, Ruby gets so excited about Aqua going into acting! Somehow, the one thing that seems to make Aqua bashful is acting(likely because it’s something that he wants to do for himself, but doesn’t know how to let himself live for himself) so it’s so important that his family is supporting him in this! But, like, the matching Twin sweatshirts they were wearing during that scene? Love it! Gotta say, all the matching outfits for these two give me life!!!! I love it when the twins are together and I can’t wait to see more of them!

That being said, Aqua and obsessive go together like peanut butter and jelly. Because the whole phone sequence? Where the boy continued trying passcodes for four entire years(and yes, I did look up how to do italics on tumblr just to be able to give four entire years the emphasis that it truly and honestly needs)??? That is absolutely insane and obsessive to the nth degree! Anybody who doubts the fervency of Aqua’s desire for revenge is so off-point it’s not even funny. The boy took four years to break into a phone and then memorized all the names of the contacts to help him have some idea of where to even begin looking for his father.

But enough about that, let’s talk about the fact that he’s acting!!!!! Boy oh boy am I excited for Aqua to be acting again! But, like, did you all see his eye sparkle when he heard what the show was??? He wanted to be in it from that exact moment, none of you can convince me otherwise! He didn’t agree until he heard who the producer was, yes, but in some ways I can’t help but feel like that was almost an excuse he was giving himself to allow himself to act again. My evidence? The end of the episode!

Aqua has the DNA, by all means he doesn’t especially need to do anything special, and yet you all saw that closing image, yeah? Aqua is about to make at least that episode worth watching! He’s gonna go all out in acting and I don’t care what Aqua says about his own talents in acting, I believe in that boy enough for the two of us! And you know what, the fact that he’s also doing it in defense of Kana???? This boy has a heart of gold and will do literally anything to protect the people he loves. We know this just by looking at everything he’s done/is doing for Ai and Ruby, but it looks like Kana might be added to the list of his people soon if things continue, and I am all for this!

All of this being said, Aqua right now doesn’t know how to let himself live for himself or even really value himself. This has been an underlying issue the entire series, but it’s definitely something to keep an eye on as the story progresses. He never got angry at the stalker for killing him(in fact, in episode 1 Aqua says that he felt almost grateful to the stalker), Aqua never lets himself enjoy things for himself(he always credited Sarina for his love of Ai/says he was Ai’s fan for Sarina rather than admitting it was for himself and, now, he won’t even let himself admit that he enjoys acting), and even which high school he went to was solely decided by which Ruby went to. From the very beginning he was called somebody with no dreams(refer to the conversation in Episode 1 between the doctor and Sarina when they’re discussing what it would be like to be an idol’s child) and even though he was a doctor, a profession that’s usually very ambitious, Aqua never truly showed any love for the profession in either life—being something of a layabout while he actually was a doctor and never even considering being a doctor again in this life. It honestly makes me wonder why he was ever a doctor and wonder more about his past life in general, because, when you think about it, we don’t actually know all that much about his past life, do we?

Anyway, another great episode of Oshi no Ko with another cliff hanger ending! I cannot wait for next week’s episode to come!

[dailyanarchistposts]

GESTAPO STYLE INTERROGATION, 101

Subject Credit: Remaining Free

Following are some of the mind games the police play on the unwary to extract “voluntary” confessions. Know your enemy well, recognize their games and the many variations of them, as many and as varied as personalities of the accused and their interrogators. Your ability to remain free may someday well depend on your strength of character and knowledge of the tactics used, techniques employed and psychological pressures. Each one is designed to elicit a response from the person on whom they are employed.

The interrogator displays confidence in the guilt of the suspect with an air of “Convince me otherwise?”

The questioner points out some, but by no means all, of the circumstantial evidence indicative of a subject’s guilt. This is a variation of I know more than I am saying and you are fucked if your story does not match what I know.” More often than not they know zip, nothing, and so capitalize on any information you may provide, turn it around and throw it back at you to extract additional information.

The interrogator often calls attention to a subject’s physical or psychological manifestations that may predict guilt, pulsation of the carotid artery, excessive activity of the Adam’s Apple; avoidance of eye contact, foot wiggling, wringing of hands, finger tapping, picking at fingernails, other individualized nervous mannerisms or gestures evidencing themselves when a person is under stress/pressure. These are common “tells” high roller gamblers are aware of when exhibited by players. If a suspect is emotional then the questioner calls attention to the “peculiar feeling inside,” playing on the concept of moral guilt attempting to extract a confession.

Interrogators often sympathize with subjects being questioned by commenting to the person something to the general effect of “...I might have done the same thing myself.” or “...Anybody else under similar conditions (circumstances) might have done the same thing”. This is to portray themselves as an “ally” or “friendly” in a hostile environment who can be trusted to help the subject ... but only If the targeted subject accepts the offered “common ground of friendship and understanding” deception bonding and confesses, opens up, to incriminate themselves or others.

An interrogator often will attempt to extract a confession during a questioning session by using phrases to reduce a subject’s guilt feelings by minimizing the seriousness of the offense/crime, especially with charges of murder or violence. Examples: “Lots of other people would have done the same thing under the circumstances of your situation.” “If somebody done me the way he/she/they done you, I would have done the same thing myself!”

A skillful questioner may suggest a less revolting, more morally acceptable motivation or reason for the offense you are charged with than that which is presumed.

In order to break an accused will to extract a confession a skilled interrogator will often sympathize with the suspect by (a) Condemning the victim; (b) Condemning any possible, or charged, accomplice suspects; or (c) Condemning anybody that any degree of moral responsibility might conceivably be bestowed on for commission of the offense in question or already charged.

Interrogators fake understanding and sympathy to urge a subject to confess while making some physical contact, pat on a hand or shoulder, grip of a hand often followed by proclamations by the interrogator that if his mother, father, brother, sister, wife, child, girlfriend, gay lover, etc., was charged with the subject’s crime he would “...advise them to confess...”, “...speak (tell) the truth...” Interrogators will often invoke moral concepts with phrases like “Confessing is the only decent and honorable thing to do.” or “You should relieve your conscience and get it over with so you feel better...” in low, sympathetic tones to attempt to establish an emotional link with a subject, particularly with a person who has been subjected to several lengthy periods of intensive questioning and underwent an emotional battering from continuous questioning most often with interrogators performing in “shifts”. The infamous “Good Cop-Bad Cop” or friendly/unfriendly routine is most often used after other tried techniques and ploys utilizing mock sympathy and understanding have proven ineffective to the dismay of Chief Inspector Impotent, Officer Orifice or Detective Dinky Winky. Whoever hasn’t seen this Mutt & Jeff routine used to death on television and in movies, please raise your hand? However, believe it or not, as sad as it is, these theatrics often work after a dullard is subjected to a prolonged period of psychological battering. Falling for this merits a groaned Duh!

A skilled interrogator often uses a ploy of pointing out the possibility of exaggeration on the part of the accuser or victim or exaggerates the nature or seriousness of the offense charged in order to frighten a subject into making a “justification statement” wherein they attempt to explain away “what really happened” and thereby hopelessly incriminate themselves! This merits a double “Duh!”!

An interrogator will attempt to have a questioned person hypothetically place themselves at the scene of the crime, in some sort of contact with the victim or the occurrence giving rise to the crime or crimes they are subjected to questioning about to gather information or attempt to have the person inadvertently make an admission of guilt through a slip of the tongue.

If a person is naive enough to admit to being at the scene of a crime the interrogator will watch for inconsistencies in the subject’s version of what happened by requesting repetitious telling of the subjects story then point out discovered inconsistencies to seek admissions of lying about some incidental aspect of the occurrence or crime. Each such admission elicited from a subject makes the subject more psychologically susceptible to coughing up the “whole story”.

An interrogator will often appeal to the subject’s ego and pride through well selected flattery or a direct challenge to honor thereby using against a subject, and capitalizing on, the basic human trait to seek and enjoy the approval of others as if predator and prey are in a normal societal environment or setting.

The futility of resistance to telling the truth or confessing will be repeatedly pointed out during questioning.

A skillful interrogator will repeatedly point out to the subject the grave consequences of a continuation of his/her “criminal behavior”. This is an argument which falls flat on its’ face, is a guaranteed failure with politically motivated suspects who are motivated out of a sense of righteousness. This ploy quite often works with social crime suspects because during the course of their ill chosen criminal careers many repeat offenders experience a fleeting desire, or possess intentions, to rehabilitate or reform themselves.

Sometimes interrogators rather than seek a general admission of guilt will first ask the suspect a question about some aspect or detail of the crime or make inquiries as to the “reason” for its commission as if puzzled as to why it happened? This is nothing more than a play on the impulse to confess which becomes more intensified the longer most people are grilled and especially with the young and inexperienced.

When suspects are questioned after previously listed grilling techniques have met with failure or it is surmised they will fail if employed, interrogators will often take pleasure in pitting suspects against another. They are separated during questioning and each told the other, or others, gave statements placing primary blame on the subject each interrogator is questioning. The person is asked to “Set the record straight before he/she/they make you the fall guy!” or “You are stupid for not making a statement! Your buddy gave you up so you may as well tell us what happened!” Revelations such as these are accompanied by angry gestures and bullying. If a suspect shows weakness he or she is then displayed mock sympathy. Know the people you are with when you do a direct action! Have your stories straight before you go on any action! Keep your mouth shut! Depend on them as they are depending on you. Don’t fall for transparent games. This most successful of questioning techniques requires no further explanation as it has been portrayed ad nauseam in cheap B-Grade gangster movies for decades. This is a tried and true, timeworn, method of obtaining confessions which few accused should logically fall for but many do in the criminal world due to distrust of their associates. With politically motivated suspects divide and conquer ploys have much smaller success rate but still sometimes succeed.

Interrogators will seek admissions of knowledge of a crime being investigated by asking if a suspect knows “why” they are being questioned. A grievous error is committed when a suspect volunteers information or any knowledge of a crime providing details which he/she could only possess if that person committed the crime or was present when it was committed. Admission of such knowledge aids investigation efforts as the interrogator is aware the subject of questioning is either the perpetrator of the crime, was complicit in the commission of the crime or is a witness. The best advice is volunteer nothing and remain mute except for required personal identity information. Protestations of innocence only serve to open a dialogue with questioners, often proving counterproductive to the interest of the accused.

The interrogator begins a questioning session by asking a subject to relate all he/she knows about the victim and other possible suspects leading up to questions about the actual incident/offense/crime. It often proves difficult for most subjects of questioning to stop talking once they have started than to never start talking in the first place. People enjoy talking and trying to impress others with what they know on any subject.

Skilled interrogators will attempt to obtain detailed information from the subject about their activities before, at the time of and after the crime. Some subjects will attempt to place themselves at the scene either before or after a crime has been committed or in close proximity to where the crime occurred thereby driving nails into their own coffin at future prosecution.

When facts of a crime are already known by police interrogators they will often ask about these known facts in a casual manner as though the facts was not already known by the authorities to rattle a suspect’s nerves and make them more vulnerable to aggressive interrogation techniques. This is done in order to create suspicion in a suspect others involved have already made a confession. The volatile emotional mixture of fear, distrust and suspicion has turned friends, lovers, partners and family members against each other. If interrogators can pit one against another to achieve a confession they will do it with immense pleasure, wrecking friendships, causing betrayed trust and destroying families! Your family, friends and you are about as important to them as discarded toilet tissue! If you realize this you are light-years ahead of falling for pressure tactic mind games! At demonstrations where there is even the slightest chance of a cop riot try to always stay close to trusted friends in case you get swooped up by the cops! Trust them if you are arrested or if you all are nicked! If you are arrested in the chaos and confusion of a cop riot, they will know what happened and can get you a bail bondsman or attorney while you are trucked off to jail. If you are all busted then there is morale strength in numbers, you can pool resources and all get out of the can. The old concept of all for one and one for all! Go to demonstrations and other direct action activities with your trusted friends. Take only those tried and true friends you trust on all direct action operations! When your ass is on the line then it is the wrong time to test their loyalty. Realize the strength of your comrades during questioning, shut the fuck up, stifle any urge to talk, and definitely don’t confess to anything to effectively volunteer to become a jail or prison population statistic.

An interrogator during a questioning session will sometimes at intervals ask a suspect questions about other people in a manner implying correct answers are already known. One such question would be asking how long you have known John Smith rather than if you knew John Smith. Another ploy consists of prefacing a question that does not bear directly on guilt or innocence with an admonishment to think carefully before you answer the next question. It is most commonly used while the interrogator shuffles through papers or while holding papers, a question is posed and followed by an expression of doubt after you give an answer to whatever question was asked. This type of questioning is a probe for a justification response from you. Offer nothing whether you think it is already known or not and ignore this category of question entirely.

An interrogator might refer to some nonexistent piece of incriminating “evidence” to see if the suspect will attempt to explain it away. If a suspect does it suggests guilt as the guilty are concerned about covering their tracks and worry about the police discovering incriminating evidence inadvertently overlooked at the crime scene. An innocent suspect has no tracks to cover so obviously does not have to speculate about the discovery of incriminating evidence.

A skilled questioner may ask if a person being questioned has ever “thought” about committing the offense being investigated or one similar to it. If you are clueless enough to answer such an inquiry your questioner is likely to show up in court to testify about how you bragged or boasted about thinking of committing the crime! A resounding reply of “No!” is a characteristic response of innocent people. If you allowed yourself to slip and answer in the affirmative the next logical question will be something like “Thinking like that finally got to the point where during one of your weakest moments, when you were under the extreme pressure, you gave in? I can understand that so tell me about it?” Duh!

With vandalism, property destruction or theft cases the interrogator will attempt to coerce a suspect into an offer of restitution which is a dear indicator of guilt. The normal response of an innocent suspect when restitution is mentioned is a loud and clear statement from them they are not going to pay for something they did not do or steal. The response being fished for from a guilty person is agreement the aggrieved individual, party or business should be reimbursed for their loss followed by a proclamation the suspect did not have anything to do with whatever it was defaced, destroyed or stolen. The suspect has placed himself in the position of appearing to be a guilty dunce!

A suspect is often asked if they are willing to take a polygraph test? Innocent people almost always agree to take practically any test immediately to prove their innocence. A guilty person is prone to refuse a lie detector test immediately or find excuses to back out of taking it after agreeing. The truth is few communities have this service available as an investigative tool and are using the only resource available, a skilled, common sense interrogation without aid of electronic instrument assistance in their quest to pin the tail on the donkey. Should you agree to take a polygraph examination 99.9% of the time the offer to provide the test proves nothing but a smoke screen, a bluff or ploy to determine your willingness to prove your innocence. A savvy person will press the issue and demand such a test in these circumstances. The back pedaling of the authority figure might even prove amusing to watch for comic relief in a stressful situation?

Police investigators know, beyond any doubt, the suspect who states something like “All right, I will tell you what you want but I didn’t do It!” is, in all probability, guilty.

[note from dailyanarchistposts: ah lads this was supposed to be a single numbered list with 26 points, but tumblr wouldn't let me]