#and not knowing why
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had a dream the other night where there was a new murderbot book out but for some reason it was set in the TLT universe but kept continuity which implied that it had ALWAYS been in the same universe as tlt, just that the corporation rim + preservation is just mostly blissfully unaware of all the shit happening between the 9 houses and the other settled systems
which i think is deeply good and very funny.
the only snippet i remember from my dream was MB bitching about doing security for necromancers because a) the whole cavalier thing is “humans doing their own security” taken to its worst extreme (at least they don’t have projectile or energy weapons) and b) necromancers in general are just not afraid of it or other secunits, and not in the same way mensah isn’t afraid of it (because she trusts it) but because they 100% know that they can neutralize it in an instant and it won’t be able to do anything about it. this makes its threat assessment module freak the fuck out.
#i’m thinking about corporates trying to spy on the 9 houses to learn necromancy#im thinking about murderbot and the pres gang being on new rho for some reason (helping evacuate?)#and for mb to just be internally screaming abt the whole RB and heralds situation#im thinking of murderbot seeing pyhrra somewhere and having its threat assment go NUTS#and not knowing why#i am thinking of ART taking on a RB and winning
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I love being woken up at 3am by a puking cat
#and not knowing WHY#usually they only puke if they SOMEHOW find something they’re not supposed to eat#like that time I forgot a few PIECES OF RICE when I cleaned the kitchen counter and my cat ate it and puked afterwards#but this time I don’t know why and it’s making me worried#shut up stef
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Gabriel when he gets home after deflagration: Adrien you are grounded
Adrien: What?! Why? I didn’t do anythin-
Gabriel: GROUNDED
#his face oml#so offended#son how dare you steal what I stole#adrien feeling personally attacked by the stare that monarch gave him#and not knowing why#ml deflagration#deflagration spoilers#miraculous ladybug#miraculous#ml season five#ml season 5 spoilers
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Once I get the Saga Of My Gallbladder wrapped up, I really need to harry my gyno more relentlessly about figuring out just what the heckie is up with the southern bits.
#alas during my (increasingly likely) cholecystectomy the dr can't do anything about looking for endo while he's in there#so i'd have to have a whole 'nother laparoscopic procedure for that#but i have been cramping the whole damn month and i am tired of hurting#and not knowing why
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there’s a mercy bug right now that miscalculates your career average damage boosted (the new stat) way higher than it should be so the internal rank calculator registers you as underperforming every match and fucks with your sr gains/losses and im :(((
#@blizz pls patch soon#ive been gaining like max 11 points for a mercy win and losing like 30#30 for a loss*#and not knowing why#its so frustrating :(((#ow blogging
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please
If you unfollow, softblock, or block me, please let me know why! This can be on anon if necessary; I don't mind not knowing who unfollows/blocks, only not knowing why. My anxiety often acts up, and it's exhausting trying to determine what I've done wrong without even being sure there actually is something I've done wrong.
(tags are relatively important here, pls read them if possible)
#abby posts things sometimes#this is literally just a copypaste of what's in my descr#but i'm aware some of y'all might not have seen it#i'm just. really fucking tired of seeing that number go down#and not knowing why#like i just want to know if it's because of something i said#(in which case i'd appreciate knowing what was wrong w/ what i said)#or if it's just because you don't want the kind of content i post on your dash anymore#(that happens! i've been here 5 years and what i blog about fluctuates a lot i understand)#but yeah anxiety means i overthink literally every single post i made before i got The Unfollow#it's exhausting and i don't have the luxury of spending energy on that with college going on#and other personal shit as well#and i don't want to leave/go on hiatus either#bc hello this is my safe place!!#so yah pls be considerate thanks#i really don't mind not knowing who unfollows!!! just why#please
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I've spent like 80% of today either sleeping or being trapped in my own head. As always, fireworks keep my eyes and mind at ease but since the show dissipated I'm back to the same pattern of thoughts
#feeling empty#and not knowing why#I was supposed to be home today#homesick#and not even that far away
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Having anxiety at 2.am is a talent where I excel
#who needs sleep when you can feel your empty chest hurt#and not knowing why#C est la fête à la saucisse les amis#insomnia#I have school tomorrow#and an italian presentation#I don't know how I ll stay awake during that#Petites fleurs et papillons la vie est belle quand on dors paaaas#help meeee#anxiety#can't sleep
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#I hate knowing that mutuals have unfollowed#and not knowing why#bc then I feel like I did something wrong or offended them#and feel like they hate me#even though part of me knows that's likely not the case#but it just sucks#like I just now noticed that two people I'd been mutuals with forever and had even talked to a few times had unfollowed#:/#liz rambles#non spn
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#you know whats great#feeling worthless#and not knowing why#i have a good life#i have a job#ive got a new start at a new school#i run a crappy blog#and i roleplay on another#with wonderful people#and yet i still feel so horrible#i feel like i could cry and its rediculous#bc i have no reason to feel sad#and i feel like no one cares#and i have the greatest best friend#and yet i still feel so freaking alone#and i dont know what to do#ahh fuck whats wrong with me#i thought itd be over once i left high school and got away#but its still there#ah what am i doing
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hello i seem to have misplaced my happiness can anybody find it for me???
#seriously im tired of being so unhappy all the time#and not knowing why#or what to even do about it#im not usually a tumblr venting type of person sorry guys#im just tired of keeping things bottled up
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We fell from the peak And the stars, they broke their code I'm trying to forget How I landed on this road I'm caught in between What I wish and what I know When they say that you just know
Who wrote the book on goodbye? There's never been a way to make this easy When there's nothing quite wrong but it don't feel right Either your head or your heart, you set the other on fire
#yes i'm still listening to it#also wishing this had been around last year#when i was following out of love#and not knowing why#because nothing was wrong#but it just didn't feel right...
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Jdkdhxjzzjdkdndoxbdjdu
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sudden bouts of irrational sadness are the worst??????? everything sucks and you don’t even know why??? you want to cheer up but you can’t????? you have to go work on stuff but every single particle of you refuses to function????????
#ramblings#i don't want to be in this state#i am so sick of being sad#and not knowing why#i feel so helpless#how do i escape from myself#:(
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I have been avoiding new girl spoilers for tonights episode for what feels like forever and it is just about time for me to finally find out what all you people were freaking about. I am excited.
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