#and not have Atton die to Sion

[tobyig]

Finished KOTOR 2 again about 5 mind ago. Def time to replay it, its been way too long.

[attonposting]

Had a nasty little 2 am idea last night that refused to let me sleep until I scrawled it down. I'll take ”fics that would physically hurt me to read, much less write” for 800, Alex.

Premise starts with the endgame. Atton loses the fight against Sion and is tortured to the point of death. The Exile finds him fading, and he confesses to everything – confesses to something that was reciprocated, even, it was just never the right time and now the end of the road is staring them in the face way too soon. And he's so desperate not to die like this, and the Exile so desperate not to lose him now of all times, that he stumbles onto what Sion did. He grabs a hold of his suffering, his spite at the universe, and uses it to power through. He doesn't heal, not really. But he gets back up.

It's fucked up, but so's everything right now. The Exile's gonna take what she can get. They're both alive, and it's all over, and she just wants to put Malachor behind them. So she tells herself that Atton always gets back up. Nothing's okay right now, but nothing would be – she just discovered she's a wound in the Force, revisited the site of all their worst mistakes, was forced to kill her teacher after she tried to kill her in turn! They're both wrecks right now. It will be okay, eventually.

'Okay' keeps her waiting. The dust settles, and it just reinforces the niggling feeling that something's off. Atton's no less devoted to her – fixated on her, really, and of course there's the question of how much of that is him and how much of that is her influence. But he's on edge all the time now, angry at everything that isn't her, and on paper that's no different from how he's always been. But it is.

They chart a course for the Unknown Regions and prepare for another wild gizka chase across the galaxy. They visit new planets. Trouble follows them the way it always does, and seeing the way Atton interacts with the locals, the way he moves to handle things? Gets that off feeling sharpening fast. It's like they're fresh off Peragus again, except this time Atton isn't shy about sharing what's really on his mind. She's getting worried that his near-death experience seriously traumatized him – and trying to convince herself that a near-death experience is all it was, because he's ashen as hell (but he nearly bled out and he's still recovering, that's normal) and he's got lines and veins he didn't before (but of course he does, Sion cut him up everywhere, there was no falling back on his pretty face after that.) So she tries to talk to him, and he's a brick wall. The Exile doesn't know what to do. She's waiting for things to settle into their old equilibrium, and they don't. They just keep deteriorating, until there's one too many fights, or cruelties, or sex that's not quite lovemaking, and she finally has to admit it.

He's less of the Atton she was starting to fall in love with every day. Definitely not the one she empathized with. She sees few of those sides of him she'd started to unbury after Nar Shaddaa, once she got past his guard and found the contradictions hiding beneath. Instead it's all of his worst, callousness and spite and seething nasty vindication, and beyond that, something new and cold that genuinely frightens her. Whatever spark they have falls apart fast if she's fortunate, turns downright toxic if she's not. Disagreements grow into arguments grow into bitter drawn-out fights, and sometimes he goes past shouting.

And there's one point where the Exile actually gets through to him. It chinks the rage that keeps him going, makes him realize what he's becoming. Atton falters... and he starts to die. All those old not-quite scars open back up; he can't breathe anymore. Self-preservation kicks in, because that's what he does best, and the moment's over.

That's when she has to face the music. There's no fixing this. Atton was starting to become someone else, being with her, but that's not possible anymore. He's sustained by the Dark Side now, all hate and pain and sadism strung together by one all-consuming obsession, and that's physically all he's capable of - a headlong plunge to his worst self, orbiting the person he loves and hates and wants to preserve and take apart most of all.

There's only two ways it can end. It's Sion all over again, just with a man she could have loved. Either she talks him into accepting his death, or she has to put him down by force... as many times as it takes for it to stick.

[sovonight]

now the description only said that the player kneels beside atton’s crumpled body, but my art my rules he’s being held instead

[thatwitchrevan]

I’m 100% going to replay the ending at some point really soon until I manage to save Atton because no fucking way am I just letting him be dead. Like listen. Listen. I cannot possibly emphasize how much I want him to live and to heal and to BE FUCKING HAPPY FOR ONCE.

[nonopiimagines]

pinnacle; atton rand x f!exile; warnings: character death;

a reflection of tethered

---

She felt nothing. No victory. Not really. This was just the beginning of another cycle. Kreia confirmed that much before plunging to her death. 

All that was left now was to leave this decaying place, haunted by her past. This memorial. This embodiment of mistakes and opportunities. The rift in the Force.

But then she saw him. Collapsed on the bridge. His brown hair unmistakable and stark against the marbled white floors of Trayus Academy. Her mind wanted to burst into a run but her mortal body was still battered from Darth Sion and Darth Traya. She had to calmly walk forward, cradling her broken ribs, not putting too much pressure on her twisted ankle. 

“You’re… alive. Did... I... save you yet?”

His voice was small and his breaths labored. A beaten man left to die his slow, lonely death. 

“Atton.” She knelt next to him, examining his bruises, his broken armor, his blood-soaked clothes. But she could feel his impending death more than see it before her. The Force made sure of that. “Of course you saved me. You always have. You always will.”

He pushed out a hoarse laugh, his body wincing with the effort of it. This bruised, beaten man. She began her journey with him and here it would end. On Malachor V. The pinnacle of her life. Giving and taking, always in the same breath. Still a graveyard of her failures as a leader, her failures as a friend. 

But she would not let him die alone.

Despite her body’s groans and refusals to cooperate, she dragged Atton over to the wall of the cliff face, propping him up in the crook of her arm. With shaky hands, she used what little stamina she had left to guide the Force back to Atton, not to heal his wounds but to provide him comfort, warmth, safety in his last moments. It was all she could manage but he deserved so much more.

“Did you get him?” Atton’s voice was breathy and hollow, but still a hint of his trademark nonchalance.

She smiled mournfully. “Darth Sion? Yeah, he’s dead. I only had to kill him four separate times, but that last time was for you and he felt it.” 

Atton scoffed, his body becoming heavier against her, unable to hold himself up. But still he hung on.

“You know I love you?” He sounded scared, truly scared for the first time since she found him on Peragus. 

She knew what kind of love he meant. A love they were never meant to have. The kind of love where trust was the basis, the foundation of their relationship. The kind of love that went deeper than any other sentient bond they had. To share everything between them, the light and the dark. But it was not meant to be. Not this time.

“I know. I love you too.” But she could pretend, just for this moment, just for him. She grabbed his hand and there was no hesitation as she held him closer and closer, as the life ebbed away from him. They could stay rooted here forever, the ferocious wind blowing and whipping around them, a testament to their devotion for each other, for what they meant. But this facade was finite, infinitesimally small, and soon it was over. 

The Ebon Hawk landed a short distance away and it was time to let go. I want to hold on a bit longer, she thought to no one in particular. There was no one listening. Mandalore and Mical arrived to pry Atton’s body from her arms, his hand from her hand. Mira held her back as she tried to run to him once more, her mind finally transcending her body’s limits. But it wasn’t enough, it would never be enough.

[waiting-for-ciena-ree]

Why does it matter if Kreia is Arren Kae?

Solving the mystery of Kreia’s backstory was the most fun I had playing KOTOR 2. I think that her past as Arren Kae is brilliantly woven in the game’s subtext. I don’t view it as an inconsequential theory; to me, it is fundamental to understanding both Kreia’s character and the game itself. As I played through the game twice, I loved talking to my crewmates, because they each helped me understand the nature of Arren Kae and Revan’s relationship. However, in my experience in the KOTOR fandom, I’ve noticed how everyone interprets Kreia differently. And I was disheartened to see that a lot of people don’t like the idea of Kreia being Arren Kae. Other fans simply think it doesn’t matter if she is or not. So I decided to articulate myself why I love this theory so much!   It boils down to this: it matters that Kreia is Arren Kae because Revan tried to kill Arren Kae on Malachor V. That betrayal transformed Arren Kae into Darth Traya, and it informs Kreia’s present relationship with the Exile. Arren Kae was one of the Jedi Knights that Revan sent to fight on the ground when the Exile unleashed the Mass Shadow Generator, destroying almost all life on the planet. In spite of this betrayal, Kreia still cares for Revan. She constantly makes leaps in logic to justify Revan’s actions, calling their descent to the dark side a “sacrifice” instead of a “fall.” If we want to understand why Kreia betrays the Exile, we must first understand why she would justify Revan’s betrayal of Arren Kae. For Kreia, the lesson she internalized at Malachor V was the paradoxical idea that you must be willing to kill the people you love in order to save them. This is why Arren Kae “died” and Darth Traya was “born.” “I kill them because I love them” is a recurring motif in the game, expressed by Atton, Hanharr, Sion, and even Atris. It’s only natural that this theme resonates with the game’s most important character, Kreia; and with the game’s most important relationship (the mother-child relationship between Kreia and the player); and with the game’s most important setting, Malachor V. For all these reasons, Kreia’s secret past as Arren Kae is essential for my understanding of the game.

I see two primary reasons for why fans either dislike the theory, or else they enjoy it but don’t take it seriously:

Fans often consider “Kreia = Arren Kae” to be an unfinished idea that didn’t make it through the game’s development, since much of Kotor 2 is already woefully unfinished.

Fans may think that the most important fact about Arren Kae is that she is the Handmaiden’s mother. Since Brianna only joins your party if you play as a masculine Exile, and since Kreia’s relationship with the Exile is more important than her relationship with Brianna, you could argue from this perspective that it doesn’t matter if Kreia is Arren Kae. After all, Brianna and Kreia barely interact.

Neither of these reasons work for me. First of all, while the writing for Kreia’s past is subtle and mysterious, I believe her past is important enough that all of the necessary clues are there, even in an unfinished game. I also prefer the writing if it is implicit rather than explicit.

Secondly, I think it is deliberate that Kreia’s relationship with Brianna is less developed than her relationships with Revan and the Exile. According to the Disciple Mical, Arren Kae was Revan’s Jedi Master. Since Arren Kae was forced to give up her biological daughter Brianna, the only child she was allowed to love and raise within the Jedi Order was her Padawan Revan. Therefore, it only makes sense that Revan would have a bigger impact on Arren Kae’s life than either Brianna or Yusanis.

It also gives an extra layer to how painful it would be for Arren Kae to be betrayed by her “chosen” child, Revan, since Arren Kae had already sacrificed a potentially happy life with Brianna in order to remain a Jedi.

I also think that a lot of fans miss the plot point that Revan tried to kill Arren Kae, since it isn’t stated directly. Additionally, the idea that your beloved OC Revan would want to kill someone as nice-sounding as Brianna’s mother is distressing. I’ve seen how some fans dislike how KOTOR 2 adds further backstory for “their” Revan, since it is beyond the player’s choice. But personally I love that Obsidian did that, because I think it’s smart writing. After all, the entire point of the “Darth Revan reveal” in the first game is that you are supposed to be appalled at your player-character’s secret uncontrollable past. So, adding on that Revan tried to kill their own mother-figure? That works for me.

While other people have focused on showing the clues for how Kreia is Arren Kae, I’m just going to focus on why Kreia is Arren Kae. So let’s simply look at the three clues that tell us that Revan tried to kill Arren Kae:

By talking to Mical, you learn that Arren Kae was Revan’s Master.

By talking to Brianna, you learn that Arren Kae “died in the battle that shattered Malachor V, and her body was never recovered.“

And by talking to Revan’s droid, HK-47, you learn that Revan’s "true target” at Malachor V were the Jedi. Not the Mandalorians. The Jedi.

I believe that HK-47’s speech is one of the most important revelations in the game. He is the party member who was closest to Darth Revan during the Jedi Civil War. As an assassin droid, he gives a cold, calculating “observation” that “Revan was ‘cleaning house’ at Malachor V.” He notes that “if you examined the records of the deaths on Malachor, […] you cannot escape that many of the Jedi and Republic soldiers who died were not Revan’s strongest supporters.”

Significantly, the game distinguishes between Revan and the Exile’s motivations at Malachor V. No matter how bloodthirsty or dark-sided you make your Exile in the present, the Exile was still unaware of Revan’s master plan in the past; the Exile believed that the true target were the Mandalorians.

Beyond HK-47, other characters speak kindly of the Jedi who were targeted on Malachor V. If Mical is in your party when you fly there, he will say, “And all the Jedi who followed Revan, the true Jedi, died at Malachor V.” He is praising the Jedi who went to fight to defend vulnerable people in the Outer Rim against the Mandalorians, but did not follow Revan into the Jedi Civil War. To him, they are the only “true Jedi.”

While HK-47 gives a cold, calculating analysis of why Revan wanted to kill Jedi, there is another character who gives a more romantic analysis: Hanharr. The dark-sided “robot” and the dark-sided “monster” each have a different reading of Malachor V. Speaking for myself, I had trouble understanding Kreia until I met Hanharr as a Dark Side Exile. Hanharr, the “mad wookiee” who killed his tribe to save them from slavery, is the only crew-member that Kreia invites on board. When you ask her why, she tells you that “the beast is a lesson in strength.” I think that Kreia sees herself in Hanharr, more than anyone else. When Hanharr finally tells you his “true lesson of strength,” I think it gives insight into Kreia’s own beliefs:

Hanharr: Madness is not always that to one who can see it for what it is.

Hanharr: The lesson of strength is this - it is not having the strength to kill those you hate, but those that you love. Strength is when you crush their lives beneath your hands, murder them to save them from falling into the Shadowlands, as you have.

Hanharr: You know what happened when you killed the tribe of Mandalorians. And why the Jeedai had to die, so they did not become as the Mandalorians do. It was a coward’s way of killing, but the choice was strength. To kill your brothers and sisters, those of the tribe who stood with you in battle.

Hanharr: I am here because you showed me what chained me, and there is much I may learn from you. There is strength in such things - and you will know this, when you go into the place all exiles go. When you are willing to kill everything you love - and everything that walks and breathes hates you. When you are willing to leave paradise behind, to curse your life for all time. And know that you did to save another. And to show the galaxy what prey is. This is the lesson of strength, human.

Again, Hanharr is misidentifying the Exile’s motivation for using the Mass Shadow Generator on Malachor V, because the Exile did not mean to target the Jedi. But if we take HK-47 at his word, and if we accept that Revan was the true mastermind behind the destruction of Malachor V, Hanharr is instead justifying Revan’s choice to target the Jedi. And Hanharr’s analysis is quite remarkable. He is saying that Revan targeted the “true Jedi” because Revan loved the Jedi. Because Revan wanted to prevent the good “true Jedi” from becoming monsters themselves.

If we apply Hanharr’s analysis to Kreia’s situation, he is saying that Revan’s attempted murder of Arren Kae was an act of mercy, not simply “cleaning house” of “disloyal soldiers.” It was an attempt to “prevent a greater evil”–the evil in which Arren Kae is compelled by the Force to join the dark side. Which is exactly what happened to all survivors of Malachor V, except for the Jedi Exile, who exercised their free will by abandoning the Force in that moment.

Now the question becomes: is Hanharr right? Did Revan actually love Arren Kae? This time, my answer is: it doesn’t matter. It only matters that Kreia wants to believe this is the truth. If you ask Hanharr, “What prey does Kreia seek?” He will answer, “She hunts truth, I think - and she seeks it in you. And truth is dangerous prey - difficult to seek, and difficult to face. And with greater desperation, she hunts that which runs against that truth.” What runs against the truth? I think that a person’s longing to be loved often “runs against the truth.” Kreia’s love for Revan and the Exile “runs against the truth” that these two people worked together to destroy all life on Malachor V, including her own.

What better way to show the emotional impact of Revan’s betrayal of the “True Jedi” than by making the game’s most important character a survivor of that attack? And by characterizing her as someone “who has been betrayed in the heart, and who will betray in turn”?

Kreia was betrayed in the heart. Kreia did not love the Jedi Council, and her alliance with with the Sith was “fragile” and “based on hatred.” Even though the Jedi Council exiled her, and the Sith violently exiled her, they did not “betray her in the heart.” They did not kill Arren Kae and create Darth Traya.

The person who betrayed Kreia in the heart was the person she loved more than anyone else: Revan.

The person who betrayed Kreia was you.

“There is no great revelation, no great secret. There is only you.”

“You”–the player character from the first game–you were the one who betrayed Kreia. Though as the ignorant player, you have “lost your memories” of this.

But Kreia did not forget, and your betrayal twisted her into something monstrous.

And now she will betray “you” in turn, as the player character of the second game.

She will do it because she loves you. She loves you because you are the player and because you have an extraordinary capacity to exercise free will in a predetermined story.

She has always loved you, ever since she was Arren Kae.

[warsofasoiaf]

What is your opinion of KOTOR 2? Favorite things about it, least favorite things about it, characters, etc.

Alright, it’s time for another video game review, so an early reminder, spoilers abound for both KOTOR1 and KOTOR2. There’s a cut of course. Overall, I thought it was a phenomenally well-written game and one of the greatest pieces of media to exist in the Stars Wars universe (although I haven’t read any of the Expanded Universe books so keep that in mind), and as is the usual case for Obsidian particularly in this era, developer constraints created a beautiful mess.

Before we can talk about KOTOR we need to talk a little bit about Star Wars and what it meant as a film. The original Star Wars isn’t a very creative story, it’s largely a conventional Hero’s Journey. It’s a pastiche of early adventure stories in a science fiction setting, but with the added benefit of video and sound effects to really make it come to life in a way that was only possible in the imagination of readers. This gave the series a wide deal of appeal. Folks who grew up on the 1950′s Flash Gordon serials or WW2 dogfight films could see a film with those things they loved from their childhood with a high budget to bring those things to life. Science fiction fans could visually see elements of their favorite books brought to life on the silver screen. Fans of movies can appreciate the cutting-edge (for the time, although I love me some practical effects in film) effects and the unfamiliar elements of science fiction with the familiar trappings of an adventure tale. 

KOTOR was something similar for the video game industry, particularly for the fans of Baldur’s Gate. The ability to create a Jedi character and go on a journey like the Bhaalspawn did in Baldur’s Gate was something that appealed to a significant number of RPG fans, and the critical success of the Baldur’s Gate series brought a lot of money and prestige to Bioware. Fans of RPGs and Star Wars got to see their medium and interact with it in a whole new light. Much like A New Hope, KOTOR1 was largely a traditional story where Darth Malak is an evil guy without much in the way of redemptive qualities. The two major wrinkles were that you could play as a Sith and have some moments of true player cruelty like ordering Zaalbar to kill Mission, but this makes sense for an RPG, having no player choice in a game really makes you lose the lightside/darkside dynamic. Of course, the bigger and more interesting drift from a traditional Star Wars story was the Revan twist. This took advantage of both the slower pace of games to spend time with your PC and form a connection, and the nature of Western RPG’s where the player envisions themselves partially as their avatar onscreen to make the reveal hit home. Ultimately though, the Star Wars morality was upheld. The Jedi were the unequivocal good guys, the Sith were the unequivocal bad guys. 

KOTOR2 decided to put the Force under the microscope. It had started in 2003, so Episode II had already come out, and this idea of the prophecy of Anakin bringing balance to the Force, and what we knew of the Jedi in the original Star Wars trilogy who were reduced to hermits hiding on the fringes of society, really gave the impetus to examine this idea of the balance of the Force as not necessarily benevolent. It’s not evil, per say, it’s just indifferent to the people that die to make it happen. So the game became a self-critical examination of the core structures of the Star Wars universe. The Sith are usually thought of as the bad guys, and a lot of that holds true, domination, subjugation, power, betrayal, all that nasty stuff aren’t really conducive to most conceptions of goodness, but are the Jedi good? Does their passivity lead to injustice and terror being wrought on others because the Jedi failed to act. That was the question behind the Jedi involvement in the Mandalorian Wars, was the Exile correct in going off to fight them or were the Jedi Council who forbade them correct? As befits the folks who wrote Planescape: Torment, the game has two journeys, one through the game world and the plot that unfolds and another more deeply introspective.

I’ll put the things I don’t like about KOTOR2 first because the list is small but it is worth noting. The game is very clearly a rushed product and it shows. The cut content shows a great deal of lost potential, and the bugs could make the game at times completely unplayable. The game suffered from the accelerated development, having barely half the development time, and you can see where the seams show. The UI is clunky and gets cluttered when you have to manage items. Level design is similarly a nuisance, as they are big sprawling expanses without a lot of content in them. Part of that is a necessity to the mechanics, smaller levels would have other encounter designs being agro’d into it, but the levels are still expansive, empty, and a slog to get through. The Peragus mining facility is too large by half, and there’s a lot of backtracking in these levels. Since side quests encourage finding a doodad or killing a few key figures scattered around a map, that means a lot of trekking through these big levels to find one particular item or enemy locked in a corner somewhere. That can be very tedious, particularly on repeat playthroughs. At times, it feels like legging your way through a swamp to get to the next piece of delicious content.

Which is a good segue into talking what I like about the game, because its writing and characters are superb. The character companions are twists of classic Star Wars archetypes. Atton is the scoundrel Han Solo non-Force user type, but ends up having a disturbingly dark backstory where he was a Sith interrogator and feared his own Force-sensitive nature. Bao-Dur is a man haunted by the weapon of mass destruction he created, a tech-head who ends up hating his most momentous creation but feels the need to use it yet again. Canderous has become the new Mandalore and is desperately trying to revitalize his dying culture because he’s been so broken by Revan’s departure. The Wookie life-debt is so toxic that it breaks Hanharr and Mira in their own ways. Visas is a Sith whose will is shattered. Each of these characters are fundamentally broken (save for the droids, unless you count the physical need to reassemble HK-47 as broken), and the Exile draws them to him or her. Through discovering more about them and resolving it, the Exile awakens the characters’ connection to the Force, oddly ironic since the Exile is cut off from the Force and is only rediscovering it. Like most Bioware RPG’s, you the player through your character guide the growth of these characters and form a relationship with them, or use them for your own ends.

Kreia, of course, deserves her own paragraph. Kreia is the Star Wars Ravel Puzzlewell, an embittered woman who wants to destroy the cosmic chains of the universe and loves the player character in a deeply obsessive way, one that’s played completely straight in how it makes the player uncomfortable. She is deeply resentful of the Force and wants to destroy it, and through the Exile, who managed to cut themselves off so utterly completely in a unique way, she sees the path. Of course, the reason why the Exile cut themselves off was the mass death at Malachor V was so overwhelming that he or she would have otherwise died. Of course, her obsession and overriding mission cares little for the Exile’s own pain, and so the manipulations begin, using you to lure out and destroy the Jedi and the Sith, and in the end, you disappoint her, either because you don’t learn her lessons or she discovers that the only reason you were the way you were was because you were afraid. She still is obsessed over you, though, and so when you finally confront her, she obliges that affection to explain everything, unusually honest for a woman whose Sith name is evocative of the word betrayal. And fortunately, she allows something that most monologue villains don’t allow, a means by which to tell her she’s full of shit. Certainly, it’s a little weaker coming from her as an option to you rather than the player character saying it themselves, but I think it’s stronger, since so much of the ending had to be cut anyway it reinforces the ambiguity of it, that the ending is what you believe. Personal belief has always been important for the Exile and Kreia/Traya, and letting that transfer to the player is, while perhaps not the most ideal, completely valid given how rushed the development was. 

The other Sith Lords are fascinating concepts of evil and personal belief as well as well, and really show the Dark Side of the force in a parasitic, corrupt sense and the horrible ends of taking belief to its extreme. Darth Sion is the Lord of Pain. He cannot die but he feels pain constantly, making eternal life not a blessing but a torture, though in it he found a twisted source of enlightenment. His pain fuels his anger and hatred (key ingredients of the Dark Side) and so he persists solely through the Dark Side. Darth Nihilus, on the other hand, had his body obliterated by the Mass Shadow Generator, and so persisted as a wound in the Force, consuming Force energy to feed his relentless hunger. He is not a human anymore but a force of endless consumption that cannot be satiated, this hunger pain pushes him past his own mortal existence but which can only consume, not live. This perfectly illustrates the Dark Side concept of pursuit of power even past the point of sustainability, for Nihilus will continue consuming until all existence has been eaten.

The game is dark and moody, as you explore a shattered galaxy. In the original game, the search led to the Star Forge and the revelation that you the player was Revan. The sequel shows that there was no grand conspiracy; the act of Malachor built Nihilus and Sion and the player themselves was something that you did. It was not a conspiracy of Jedi but rather the after-effects of a particular action, much the way Lonesome Road had the Courier’s delivery of the package to Hopeville to be something that destroyed Ulysses even though you never met him. The Mass Shadow Generator was meant to save the galaxy from the Mandalorians but birthed a new, more powerful tragedy. Bao-Dur even wonders if the subjugation of the people under the Mandalorians was better than the power of the Mass Shadow Generator, a powerful moment ordered by just a mere single Jedi, built by a mere tech specialist. In true Planescape fashion, a personal apocalypse is a galactic apocalypse and vice-versa. Torment lingers over this game, in the broken characters, in a parallel journey both outward and inward. In many ways KOTOR2 was Planescape: Torment in the Star Wars universe, albeit with its own personal flair.

Alright, that’s a good review. I can do character analyses of some of the major characters if you want.

Thanks for the question, Messanger.

[arturas-writes]

so I already have two different KotOR 2 fics running (one as a series, one as a multichapter doohickey) but a thought occurred to me today and now I really want to write it because I kind of love the potential even though usually I’m not fond of the concept

hear me out:

genderswapped Atton.

snarky, fast-shooting, ex-Sith assassin female Atton, who goes for the ribbed jacket and sensible shirts over V-necks because a) scars, b) warmth, c) protection and d) she’s enough of a flirt to (usually) get what she wants without having to resort to physical sex appeal

seeing the Exile for the first time and throwing all her best lines at him only to be stymied because no romance subplots he’s guilt-wracked, a bit freaked out over Kreia, super freaked out over hearing the Force again, and most importantly ace as hell

deciding to stick with him anyway because unrequited love he helped her and he’s interesting and easy on the eyes... then because the old witch breaks into her mind and, well, at least there’s a convenient excuse now

being jealous when the Handmaiden arrives and the Exile doesn’t kick her off the ship immediately and trying to chalk it up to protectiveness because the Handmaider is clearly a pawn of Atris. (things do not improve when she sees the Handmaiden doing exactly what she would being ridiculously forward with the Exile (who she knows doesn’t know better) during the Echani sparring sessions)

being more jealous when Visas arrives and the Exile saves her, like she isn’t the most obvious Dark Jedi this side of the galaxy (never mind he changes that, the way he changes everyone)

don’t even talk to her about Mira - that red-headed schutta is so obnoxiously unsubtle and so painfully non-violent it’s infuriating. where does she get off being all holier-than-thou when she turns people in for credits anyway?

(realistically she’s just projecting because knows she’s at the bottom of a deep pile despite the fact she was there first and she loves the hell out of that dumb Jedi more than anyone ever could, but when’s she ever been good at being honest with anyone, let alone herself?)

then That Conversation happens and - to her amazement - she’s not thrown off the ship immediately. there’s a gap between him finding out and agreeing to train her in the Force but even that only strengthens her resolve that she’s full ride or die for him even if he’ll never look at her the way she looks at him

slowly warming up to the others as light side points accrue adventures occur and it becomes evident that the Exile is just... dense when it comes to romance (because the idea that he might be ace never occurs to her - a guy not interested in sex? - but obliviousness is an easy answer, especially given the whole Jedi thing)

(though she never quite gets as close to Visas or Brianna as she does Mira, because no matter what she tells herself she’s still a bit jealous of them both. Mira, on the other hand, is blatant about her non-romantic-like of the Exile, is nearly as good a shot as Atton is, and apprehensive about the whole Jedi Padawan thing too)

(Mira never tells her about the conversation on Nar Shaddaa because stars, Atton’s crush is the most obvious thing in the world, and the Exile made it clear that though he is fond of her he isn’t going to do anything until he’s dealt with the Sith threat)

both the Handmaiden and Visas make their moves as the party heads into endgame. Atton doesn’t know how to respond when they’re both (politely, kindly, gently) turned down because on the one hand that might maybe, possibly mean she’s in with a chance but on the other, if he turned both of them down and he’s made no passes at Mira, how the hell does someone like her have even the slightest chance?

(it doesn’t matter. she made her choice on Peragus; she’ll always flirt and she’ll always love him have his back, no matter whether he feels the same or not)

Malachor V happens and hey, it’s not like she really gives a damn about herself much these days as long as the Exile’s safe so after the confrontation with Kreia goes south she books it. she runs into Sion and gets mauled to hell and back enabling dying declarations but (of course) ends up surviving because I am a sucker for that shit she’s an emotionally stunted dumbass who won’t tell her crush she loves him unless there’s no consequences when it goes badly (because it was never going to go well) but consequences Must Happen

post-game, there are awkward discussions and it turns out that that cute, dumb Jedi loves her too but figured a) saving the galaxy had to come first and b) she’d hard-pass him with the whole no-sex thing given how hard she was flirting with him (also a bit of c) he genuinely couldn’t tell how sincere she was being because he’s seen her flirt with so many people, dammit, how was he meant to know she actually meant it with him?)

conversations occur blah blah blah sickeningly cheesy and cliche happy ending because I write tragedy or cheese no inbetween of course

(alternatively she dies at Malachor but at least gets to know she did good, and that he knew she loved him, but happy ace/allo seems a lot more satisfying than Pure Angst(TM) and ace men don’t seem to get a lot of look-in as it is)

(alternatively-alternatively Exile is not ace but fulfils every cliche of “Jedi being blushing virgins” in the book, because I’m a sucker for subversion, but that seems a lil too obvious to be properly enjoyable to write.. and I have plenty of opportunities to play with/subvert the nervous-first-time crap in The Last to Know continuum anyway)

[the-tzimisce]

AU where instead of having Sion die you just collect him and then you and Atton and Sion travel beyond the bounds of the galaxy and the vibes are abyssal

[mlmanakin]

I’d love to hear more thoughts about Atton when you have them.

tl;dr: i loved him! he was not at all what i expected in the best possible way. (and even if he was what i expected, i still probably would’ve loved him.) 

even on the surface, there was more to him than i expected. he’s witty and irreverent, but there’s this darker edge to that part of him. like, he’s (usually) not just being a class clown, it’s a little more... bitter and hostile (or defensive, depending on the situation). and the contrast between the more lighthearted side of atton and... everyone and everything else was just perfect. his interactions with kreia are the best example of this of course, but it’s really just... every time he speaks without being spoken to (with the bounty hunters on nar shaddaa, when you crash on telos, etc.).

and then you find out about his past. that conversation was super confusing to me at first, but even after i understood it, i just sat there and processed it for a while. i didn’t really know how to take it. i really loved that about the game in general. i was expecting a lot of black & white (or red & blue) morality, and while there were definitely some moments like that, there were also some moments where i genuinely did not know how to respond - at least, not with the exile’s background in mind. i chose to tell atton that i couldn’t forgive him, and his response was something like, “i don’t want you to. that would make it worse.” and that was one of my favorite moments. i LOVE characters who are unapologetic about their past, their decisions, etc. - even if they are moving on, recognizing they made a mistake, etc. (to interject with an example from the clone wars: ahsoka’s “maybe. but i have to sort this out on my own... without the council, and without you.” is one of my favorite quotes from her. definitely nowhere near equivalent situations, but i think it demonstrates my point.)

another conversation i really liked, which kind of expanded on some earlier dialogue which i also liked, was after you “eavesdrop” on him with kreia and he teaches you to “play pazaak.” i really do not know how to describe what i liked about it but... i liked it. i think both the actual concept of what he was teaching you and what that technique said about atton was really interesting.

and then his devotion to the exile... a+++++. (loosely related: my biggest disappointment from the game was that there was no final scene with the companions where you got some closure with them. your relationships all felt a little unresolved. like kotor 1 had a bunch of scenes past the point-of-no-return where you check in with your companions. kotor 2 had... none, really. like... i maxed out my influence on all of them and pretty much all i got were a few scenes of kreia talking about how obsessed they are with me which the exile doesn’t even hear. i want them to tell me how obsessed they are with me to my face!! although i did let atton die to sion at first so he could do that sfgskjgkjg but even that wasn’t satisfying.)

also... he’s a lil cute. (sion’s cuter tho... when he called me beautiful 😳😳😳 i tried to spare him so hard.)

[tobyig]

The the savior complex in Atton is more present than ever in a dark side route (at least as a fem character).

When you do dark side aligned things (force persuasion (sometimes), lying/stealing (specifically in this case (what caused this post) taking Ahrnell's kinrath gland and letting him die) you get dark side points, and some people in your party will also get them (thats a whole other post).

I'm currently super close to True Sith, and my face is. awful (in a really really sick and cool way), and so is Atton's. When you talk to him, he goes

Atton: I don't know what that witch [Kreia] did to you, but she's dragging you down into whatever hole she came out of. I'm only saying this because there's still a chance for you to stop this before whatever darkness she brought on you eats you alive."

Exile: "I am stronger than I have ever been."

Atton: "Thats what you think, but it's going to rot you - the signs are already in your face."

like oh BROTHER

i dont know if this is supposed to be implied, but to me it heavily feels like (esp. with the "[...] there's still a chance for you to stop [...]") that he's definitely only saying this because he longs to be the savior and protector. we see this on Peragus, we see this on Telos, we see it on Malachor V, we see it basically everywhere (when he's in the party, ofc.)

This combined with what happens when you kill the Czerka Worker on Telos (I couldn't find my video of it and cant find the dialogue online, so it wont be verbatim but instead what i remember until i can find it (i looked for a long 30 minutes) (i might have to start a new play through for it)

Atton: "What just happened? One minute we were just talking, then the next..."

Exile: "Are you okay?"

Atton: "Yeah. Don't surprise me like that. Next time you're out to kill somebody, let me know first."

Like. idk abt yall, but if this super hot girl came into my life and started murdering people who were "in her way" (he wanted a way off the station and to safety and kindly asked to be shown the way out) i'd be a little more mad (plus iirc asking if he's okay actually adds to his influence which is honestly so relatable)

Atton is just a man with a dream (a dream to protect the woman jedi and either kill Sion or die in her arms confessing his love for her (which is also real))

[ravel-puzzlewell]

after your post about how Darth Sion could die after redemption because he isn't in agony anymore I'm imagining Exile redeeming him...

asdfh I’m sorry, you probably meant it in like a serious, dramatic way, but after i kept comparing Sion to kilo ren, all i can think of is like kotor2 version of tlj? where the exile and sion keep having these awkward force skype calls, only the exile is not invested in his backstory at all, because she has enough on her plate.

and instead of tlj’s “plot-twist” of luke trying to kill kilo and Rey being outraged, Sion is like “Kreia is a liar! She made me into this abomination and tried to kill me!” and the Exile is like “….. yeah, that sounds like Kreia. ANYWAY”

and this entire time Atton is just dying from jealousy, like, the exile now has two guys representing two opposites of the spectrum pining for her - the sweet, disney-prince faced mical and edgy bdsm dark side sion, while atton is in the middle in this grey morality area of going tru redemption arc, but still stuck with his messy dramatic bitch personality, and all he has going for himself is sarcasm and a jacket 

[thatwitchrevan]

duchesskryze said:

Actually I read somewhere he has a higher chance of dying if you have a lot of influence over him because he sees it as sacrificing himself for you

ahhhh

[visionmarred-archive]

91 or 98 (or both, up to you 😉) for Sky/Atton!

hey howdy hey guess who took 5 months to fill this prompt :D sorry this took so long I’m. wow. thank you for the request!!

note: not a personal canon piece as of right now, but if I end up liking it enough, then maybe it will be lul

(fun fact: latter half written while listening to a lot of this bc I’m a dork)

91. I can’t breathe.98. You did what you had to do.

—

When he’d decided to stay with Sky on this Jedi-finding mission of hers, he’d known deep down that the odds were good he wouldn’t come back alive. If there was any justice in the galaxy, he’d end up skewered on some Sith’s lightsaber, and the Exile wouldn’t be any worse for the wear.

“Running away?” He choked out, trying to rise to his feet. “I’m not done with you yet.”

Sion was upon him in an instant after the taunt left his mouth, his cracked hand wrapping around Atton’s throat.

I can’t breathe.

“I will remake you. So when I look upon you, it shall be like a mirror. Then I shall let you die.”

Atton wanted to laugh, but speaking was difficult enough as it was. Isn’t it karmic, Jaq? This is what you deserve. “There’s… nothing worse you can do to me.” Forget laughing - he’d spit in Sion’s eye if he could. Maybe the eye socket, that’d be funnier. “Take your time.”

When he heard the familiar sound of a lightsaber activating, he didn’t bother kidding himself. He was going to hurt, a lot, and then he was going to die. Closing his eyes, he prepared for the inevitable…

…and found himself waiting.

Cracking an eye open, he saw that Sion’s expression was a mixture of outrage and surprise. He had the lightsaber inches from Atton’s face, yet… the lightsaber wasn’t moving towards him.

Was Sion’s hand shaking?

“What the - ” The Sith said, and then both men felt the other presence at once.

“Sky?” Atton choked out, the same time that Sion had growled, “Exile.”

The Jedi Exile herself was walking towards them slowly, her hand outstretched, and Atton suddenly understood what had happened. He wasn’t sure what was more surprising - that he might just be cheating death again, or the look on her face.

He had seen her get annoyed before, but he had never seen her angry enough to kill.

“Put. Him. Down.” Sky said with a quiet fury, curling her hand into a first. With the motion, Sion’s lightsaber deactivated, wrenching itself from his hand and hitting the wall with a clatter.

Atton gasped for air as Sion acquiesced to her request, and Sky was in front of him in an instant. He brought his hands to his aching throat and could only watch what was unfolding before him, helpless to do anything. He’d exhausted himself in the battle - he couldn’t help her.

He was quickly drawn out of his pity when he saw just how much he needn’t have worried. The Exile pushed out with both arms before lifting, and the Sith Lord was sent flying to the ceiling before falling to the ground with a sickening crack.

Sky wasted no time, whipping herself around and kneeling beside Atton. Her hand rested on top of his own, and he felt the familiar warmth of her healing prowess.

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” She whispered, her free hand caressing his cheek as she rested her forehead against his. “I’ve got you.”

“Sky - ” Atton coughed, looking down at the ground.

Pitiful. He’d ran from the others when they needed him, and then what? An attempt to protect her by throwing himself in Sion’s path, or just knowing there was no way to talk himself out of this one? Did it matter?

“Sky, the others - Kreia - she - ”

“I know.” She interrupted him, shaking her head. “Atton, there’s no time. Please - I need you to find them, free them. And then leave, please.”

A cold trickle of fear swept down Atton’s spine as he saw Sion begin to stir. “And leave you to face him alone?”

Sky withdrew from him, standing up and stepping backwards. “Don’t worry.”

Withdrawing her dualsaber, the sea green blades flared to life as she turned to face the now revived Lord of Pain. A second buzz when Sion summoned his lightsaber back to his hand and activated the weapon, stalking towards her.

“I’m not afraid.”

Krif it all, he’d told them that their plan to face Kreia was stupid. She’d wiped the floor with them all, and he’d felt justified in running. You did what you had to do. Right? No sense in dying, not when Sky still needs you.

But…

Space, who was he kidding? It was the least he owed them, after leaving them. But to have to leave her…

“Don’t make me regret this, Skysargas.” He groaned, activating his stealth generator. “Come back alive. Please.” Come back to me.

Then Sion began to speak to her, and Atton Rand left someone to face a Sith Lord for the second time that day.

[flurrin]

When I replay KotOR 2 I'm probably going to write that fic or even draw it as a short comic about Atton. How he keeps giving the Exile stuff for her journey, medpacs and antidote kits--the latter of which in particular is a holdover from his days poisoning Jedi. I want to have it where he's facing Sion, and he thinks he'll have to use tactics he learned then to kill this Sith--only to reach down and find he'd already given over all the remains of his old life to the Exile.

But the Exile taught him a new way to live, so that's what he's going to do.

Also this would be a great beginning to @sovonight 's Scarred!Atton AU because it's dramatic enough to FEEL like Atton's going to lose and die but then he doesn't

[luxettenebra]

I decided to sit down and figure out how many ships with characters from Knights of the Old Republic (I’ve also included KotOR II because...listen...I want to...) Also of note: unless otherwise stated, all relationships can be taken as familial, romantic/sexual or platonic in nature.

Alek/Malak

The Exile (of either gender)

Jaq

Bastila

Juhani

Carth

Canderous

Yuthura Ban

Mission (strictly familial, because no)

Arren Kae (again strictly familial)

T3 and HK (her actual kids)

Kreia (since some have speculated that she’s Arren Kae after she fell to the Darkside)

Juhani/Revan/Bastila (please let my fav Jedi Trio be happy)

I’ve seen Juhani/Revan/Yuthura Ban and honestly? I ship it

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I WANT DARKSIDE CARTH/REVAN. ON THAT NOTE DARKSIDE CARTH/REVAN/JAQ

Just give me all the polyships I NEED them

Yes I’m going to include Visas and Mira

Brianna (as Revan’s baby sister because I want it. I want Revan being a protective older sister) 

Redeemed Revan/Atton but like??? nothing romantic or sexual just??? being buddies??? boy I’d cRY

Me? Forget Sion? Not a chance (though this one I see as a simple friendship, especially after Revan’s torture. They commiserate with each other over not being able to die, and the betrayal of people they trusted)

I mean. Lord Scourge. What can I say, hateships are fun.

For that matter let’s throw in Atris for a hateship that’d just be hilarious