#and none of these people really know what a 90s prom would be

[ohkate]

Where Does My Heart Beat Now?

For @sweetbee78's prompt "Where Does My Heart Beat Now?" and @galladrabbles!

Word Count: 100

------

"What the hell are we dancing to?"

"It's a 90s prom theme. I'm guessing a 90s song," Ian answered smugly, pulling his husband closer.

Liam asked them to come, so here they were, dressed in suits, dancing along to some Celine Dion song as the cheesy middle school decorations sparkled around them. They watched him nervously ask the girl he liked to dance. Ian smiled.

"Who thought we'd be good chaperones? I'm about to spike that punch bowl."

"Mick, they're like 13. No."

Mickey rolled his eyes. "Wanna go make out in the corner then?"

Ian's eyebrows raised devilishly.

"Absolutely."

[eemcintyre]

All Eyes On Us (Tom Cruise)

Another addition to the "Something to Talk About"/"One More Night" series. And yes, the title is a subtle reference to "So It Goes..." by TS bc that's the vibe. I hope you all enjoy this as much as me; I have been on that grind

TW- none

Summary- Oscars night finally arrives and you and 90s!Tom make your official debut as a couple. You are overwhelmed by the attention, chaos, and some invasive interview questions, but Tom is there supporting you through it.

At several points over the course of the plane ride home, Tom had to peel Y/N away from the entertainment shows and newspapers. He noticed that she kept trying to check to see what the outlets were saying about them, and it was making her visibly distressed. Each time he would lean toward her, snatching the paper from her hand or switching the television off.

“Honey, this isn’t good for you,” he would say, and she would begin to pout until he took her mind off the subject by bringing her into a kiss instead. “This is a much more productive use of our time. But think of how exciting it’s going to be- we don’t have to sneak around anymore, and I get to show you off at events.” He hit her with a playful, encouraging grin.

“As soon as we get home, I want you to start looking for a dress. I know you’ll pick something incredible.” Y/N perked up somewhat at that idea, toying with the buttons on Tom’s shirt. “It’ll be fun, you’ll get to meet everyone I’ve told you about- Cameron, Renee, Cuba… they’re a really fun group, you’ll like them.”

~

“Are you sure I look okay?” Y/N whispered, eyebrows furrowed, glancing up at Tom with anxious eyes.

“Are you kidding? No one is even going to notice that I’m there,” he grinned, shaking his head in amusement as he admired her gown. It was a sleek nude dress with a plunging neckline and ruffled, flowy short sleeves, encrusted all over with matching gems. Tom had opted for a classic black tuxedo with slightly elongated, silky lapels.

Tom gave Y/N a last kiss on the forehead, accompanied by a reassuring squeeze of her hand, as the limousine rolled to a stop. They had reached the drop-off point for actors and their plus-ones at the Dolby Theater- the location of the Academy Awards. She sucked in one last deep breath before it was time to exit the vehicle and face the intimidating wave of photographers preparing to descend. Gripping her clutch purse and a fistful of her dress in one hand, Tom took the other in his as he helped her from the limo.

They were immediately surrounded by a claustrophobic perimeter of camera lenses, flashing lights, their accompanying photographers, and other attendees. As Tom guided her along a path through the crowd, it took everything in her to focus on not tripping over her gown at the same time as she was trying to smile for the cameras. Fans in the distance behind a barricade started to scream when Tom came into their view and he waved, smiling broadly. Y/N followed his lead, squeezing his hand in a vise grip. He then caught her off-guard with a kiss to her cheek, bringing a genuine smile to her face as people’s cheers grew louder.

“How about her, huh? Isn’t she something?” Tom called, gesturing to Y/N before they continued on their way inside, waving goodbye to the onlookers.

Before too long, interviewing time commenced. Between briefly circulating the arrivals as Tom introduced her to former coworkers and industry friends, they traveled from television host to host, from the likes of E! News to ABC and CBS. Each interview was fairly similar and went something like this:

A TV host, wearing something resembling a prom dress, would announce them with maniacal enthusiasm after they ascended the stairs to a slightly raised platform on the red carpet.

“Aaaand now we have with us tonight, Tom Cruise! And his wife- Y/N! Now let’s see this ring…” she asked, and Y/N shyly raised her hand into view of the camera, blushing. “Oh my God,” the reporter gushed. “You must feel like a lucky woman.”

“I am,” she replied, trying not to look directly into the camera. “He’s a wonderful guy. I still can't believe any of this is real. And I’m so proud of him tonight, whatever happens.” She referenced his Best Actor nomination.

“Aww… and who is it that you are wearing tonight? You look fabulous,” the reporter gestured dramatically for emphasis.

“I know, isn’t she a knockout?” Tom agreed, squeezing Y/N's waist.

“You two are adorable,” the reporter exclaimed, maintaining the same forceful enthusiasm. “Now, you guys have been very secretive about your relationship; no one even knew you were dating and now you’re married- what is that about?” The interviewer’s voice took on a subtly harder tone as she brought her microphone in closer to her interviewees.  

The corner of Tom’s mouth twitched almost imperceptibly, and his eyes narrowed, although the charming smile didn’t drop. “I mean, I think I’ve always been a pretty private person. I’ve made it clear that my personal life doesn’t exist for ratings and reviews.”

Y/N looped her arm in his protectively as the host pressed on. “Are you concerned, maybe, about what your exes or the public might think? Y/N, does it bother you that Tom's already been through the motions a couple of times? I mean, when he moves on, he moves on...”

Y/N’s mouth fell open, and her raised eyebrows created a wrinkle on her forehead. Too disoriented to answer, Tom swiftly chimed in.

“Um… well, I don’t know where you heard that because it’s just not true. I’m on good terms with my former partners.” Tom cocked his head to the side, slipping a hand into his pocket as his posture stiffened and his smile faded. “Besides, all of that is in the past, and no one’s business but my own. I love this woman, and she’s my wife. Are we going to talk at all about the movie I’m nominated for?” He made a visible effort to relax his stance and expression.

The rest of the exchange, which was mercifully brief as time ran out and it was the next interviewee’s turn, was almost unbearably awkward as the host returned to softball questions about the experience of working on Jerry Maguire. As they walked away, Tom fumed, and though Y/N’s palms were shaking and sweaty, she was also angry on his behalf.

“You’d think with how much you’ve done for the industry they’d show you some respect,” she muttered when they stopped off to the side of the milling crowds to regain their composure. She softly brushed a runaway strand of his hair back into place, and he grinned sweetly at her, grasping her shoulders and rubbing them.

“It’s okay, I’m used to it. Comes with the territory, unfortunately. But you do know I love you? You know I’m not going anywhere?”

Y/N shook her head and chuckled, rolling her eyes. “Relax. I don’t treat the E! channel like gospel. And you know better than to leave me for someone else anyway. I’d take the cat, and I’d kick your ass.”

Tom laughed. “On the bright side, it’s almost time to sit and eat. I think there’s gonna be cake.”

Y/N made an exaggerated gasp, although genuinely excited by the prospect of a good dessert. “Well, then let’s get on with it; what are we waiting for?”

[waterwindow]

Hello!

Been a big fan of both the art and jump compilations for a bit now. I’m currently grinding out a new season in 6s Open, for which I’ve been really keen on finally giving Roamer a try. Which, this is the part where the question comes in, because as the Roaming Solly it’s super important to be able to jump well.

Mechanically I feel pretty solid on walljumps, syncs, most manner of strafing and the combination of the likes. It’s the skips and pogo that make me want to uninstall though. I’m always super inconsistent. So I was wondering if you knew any good/fun maps to practice those. I’ve mostly done medium/hard levels on Jump Academy.

You like my compilations?? thank youuu🥺👉👈

And Eey! Good luck with the season :]

So, hmmm, based on what you've told me you're somewhere in the high t4 range (there is one t5 jump in Hard Walls, but outside of that JA2 is high t4 so I'll keep that in mind) Unfortunately a lot of pogo for t4-and-beyond focuses a lot on wallpogo. I.E your ups n downs and corners and all that good stuff. Which probably isn't really what you're looking for because it's not super applicable for the art of Murder.

Skips on the other hand are insanely annoying even for people who primarily jump because every skip's set-up is slightly different (especially leading into whatever you're planning to use the gained momentum for) Because of this I can't really pin something down right off the top of my head as THE SKIP MAP™. It's a little bit less of a core mechanic and more of a popular set-up gimmick.

K so after some long consideration and thought and talking to my friends we've got some maps for your consideration

jump_competitive, jump_damer, jump_destination_v2, and jump_glow are all t4 and they're visually interesting and have skips/ground pogo. Damer is even full of memes :D and Competitive is based all on real jumps you can do in-game (and there's a fun little hat-finding easter-egg hunt to unlock the bonuses)

A lot of our first thoughts definitely skewed more towards t5 so I'll leave some cursed suggestions here as well: Jump_areae is BRUTAL but it is primarily ground-pogo and its pretty to look at. jump_minecraftia is 90 goddamn jumps but you will find just about everything there including a lions share of skips and pogo. And If me personally were to crown a map as The Cursed Skip Map like it was the Skip Prom Queen, I would have to choose none other than jump_finite_v2.

All these maps are great, btw, in their own right and I'm sure there's loads more (so if anyone has any suggestions feel free to leave a comment). But my real and honest advice would be to practice setting up skips on the maps that you play on. Skip-setups are so precise that its very hard to find 2 skips that are exactly alike. So for your purposes I would definitely find good places you could conceivably see yourself skipping from a lot and have those memorized so in the heat of the moment you always know just what to do :]

[bethnoir-fic]

It’s Not Funny

[Image: mugshot of musician Kurt Cobain arrested for spraypainting “God is Gay” on building walls in Aberdeen, WA. Text reads “God is Gay”]

I’ve seen this post floating around on Twitter and I wanted to talk a little bit about it:

“cis ppl over 30 need to be much more open about sharing their stories of how absurdly homophobic and ‘judeo-christian’ chaste everything used to be“

(Note: OP was asked to refrain from using “judeo-christian” when they actually mean christian fundamentalist and they’ve agreed.)

But the point is I’ve been reading my friends’ stories as they RT it and I kept thinking about why I’ve spent so much time on ‘What’s Funny’, thinking it was going to be a quick three chapter fic about Richie and Eddie, instead I realize I wanted to write about what it was like being queer in the 90s. I have felt weird using the amount of homophobic and ableist language in the fic, but I really wanted readers to understand this is exactly what it was like.

This was something you really had to hide and if you were open about being gay, there was a very real chance you would be ostracized at best, or murdered at worst. Writing this fanfic has made me feel like Cassandra. I feel like I’ve been hyperfixating on minor details of what it was like being gay in the 90s, and how weird it feels to grow up with liberty and representation, and to know how fragile the whole thing could be.

I grew up when the most explicit gay film you could get your hands on at the video store was ‘Maurice’ or ‘The Wedding Banquet’. I was a kid when Brandon Teena was murdered and I was in college when Billy Lucas killed himself. There was ZERO gay content in children’s and YA books because you would get called a pedophile if you even thought of introducing the subject. There is a reason why you had to look for gay subtext in books like Good Omens and It and why Dumbledore came out after all seven books were published, because anything that was clearly gay was a risk for the publisher. I’m pretty sure that’s why you don’t see more openly gay men cast in lead roles. Gay men can play gay roles, but they can’t be tough, manly action heroes.

Something I wrote in Richie and Eddie’s heart to heart at the townhouse that really captures my feelings about being a mildly elder queer is this:

“He got to grow up with gay prom and I grew up with Derry.“

When parents talk about drag queens preying on children, or homosexuality in children’s books is grooming children or trans women are just men in dresses who want to commit rapes - NONE OF THIS IS NEW. This is exactly how the right used to talk about us less than twenty years ago. This is how they would talk when I was in high school, which was less than twenty years ago. Gen Z has no idea how bad this will get because so many grew up in safety and openness and being depicted in media.

I’m a millennial who was a charter member of my school’s GSA in our entire county. I went to our county’s first gay prom when I was going through a revolving door of identities and usually settled at “straight”, and the event was an anomaly, not an annual occasion. My memory of the AIDS epidemic were celebrities wearing red ribbons at the Oscars in the early 90s, and not the devastation of a generation of gay elders because I was a little too young to lose someone. Everyone older than me was furious it was an empty gesture because thousands were already dead and most everyone had been fine with it because it was "gay cancer”. It is a blessing and a miracle my hometown isn’t what you’d normally think as an open place for the gay community, but it is and it’s a wonderful place.

The fact that we live in a time where gay people can marry is almost unheard of in history. I still can’t believe this happened in my lifetime. I remember Massachussets in 2003. I remember Prop 8 in California in 2008. I still cannot believe it’s possible for LGBTQIA people to have the lives we’ve been living in this timeline, and I cannot stress enough that ALL OF IT can vanish if you don’t take this threat seriously from Christian fundamentalists who want to stop it. I remember what it used to be like and I don’t want these few years to be a fluke. All of this progress for gay people is so goddamn unusual in our history, that to me it’s on a level of Earth making contact with aliens and a spaceship will be landing here next week.

It’s Pride and I am so goddamn tired of seeing corporate merch only say Pride. Say Gay Pride. Say Lesbian Pride. Say what Pride is. Say the whole damn thing. This isn’t a self-esteem parade for everybody. It’s for all of us who told others and ourselves that we were straight so we would be safe.

My humble request for the youth is to stop calling questioning people “straights who are faking it” or the validity of a lesbian who isn’t a gold star or why someone won’t list their pronouns. You need to learn how to keep the community inclusive and safe. There are real predators who want to break up gay life and they very well could do it. It was normal for generations. We have to make sure we have a future.

That’s my story. I wrote a Reddie fanfic that’s probably going to hit 100k words because I couldn’t relate to the happy stories or the alternate universes. I wanted to get into the guts of what it was like to be gay in a decade that was considerably more progressive than the decades before it, but it was still a perfectly safe space to call someone a faggot or a dyke and to follow up with your fists.

Anyway, I’m tagging this with all my usual fic tags, because honestly even though I live for comments, my motivation from the bottom of my heart is for people to understand just how bad this could get and what things were like when it wasn’t as bad as before. If you want to live in nostalgia for the 80s and 90s and fantasize about being a gay kid then, you need to understand those days could come back and those days were bad.

It’s called “pride” because the people who are targeting book readings for babies and healthcare for kids and legal rights for adults, are the same people who wanted us to be ashamed. Promise me we’re not going back.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20643572/chapters/49021859

[kat-tamin]

you’re a cowboy like me

For Women of SVU Week 2021: Day Six: There was only one bed

Ship: Kat x Amanda

Warnings: Smut, including oral and fingering

Word Count: 2115

“Rollins, I just got word that our suspect got picked up in Westhampton's. We need to go pick him up.”

Amanda looked up at Kat. “When?”

“ASAP. ADA wants him arraigned tomorrow.” Kat gave the older detective a sympathetic look. “Sorry, Rollins. Hamptons PD says we can get him first thing tomorrow morning.”

“That means leaving tonight.” Amanda rubbed her forehead in frustration. “I’ll see if I can get someone to watch the girls.”

“Sorry, Rollins.” Kat smiled, trying to come up with something comforting. “On the bright side, mini vacay? I can make us a road trip mix.”

“Fine.” Amanda grabbed her keys, heading for the elevator. “Go pack a bag. I’ll meet you back here.” She paused, turned back to Kat. “None of that mumble rap crap, though. That’s not music.”

___

An almost 3 hour drive for two people who didn’t know each other that well was practically torture. The majority of the drive was spent in awkward silence. The only time they spoke was to discuss the landscape, or the case they were currently working on, Kat’s 90s music mix filling in the gaps of conversation. 

This wasn’t like Kat, or Amanda. They were both quite talkative women, but there seemed to be an underlying awkwardness between them when they weren’t at work. Neither was quite sure why. They just didn’t seem to have a lot in common. Kat was young, while Amanda was a mom. That alone made their lives very different.

Chasing Waterfalls by TLC came up on the mix, and Amanda automatically turned the volume up.

“You like this?” Kat raised her voice to be heard over the music.

Amanda nodded, grinning. “Reminds me of when I was young.”

“Me too! I remember them playing it at my elementary school graduation!”

Amanda turned to her wide eyed. “Your what?”

“Yeah, it was fun- what?” Kat glanced at Amanda’s disgusted face.

“Kat, this played at my senior prom.”

Kat snorted, and quickly covered her open mouth with her hand. “Sorry, Rollins.”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” Amanda muttered. “Respect your elders, Tamin.”

“Yes, ma'am.” 

Kat’s tone of voice made Amanda’s breath catch in her throat. She had to quickly right the car so it wouldn’t swerve into the other lane.

Finally, the two SVU members made it to the motel that the department had booked for the night. It was just outside town, close to the station. Kat would have preferred to be closer to the ocean, but beggars couldn’t be choosers when it came to a free hotel room. 

Kat noticed Amanda was already walking into the office, and hurried after her, catching the door just before it closed.

“You must be the NYPD!” The cheerful, older woman working greeted them. “One bed, right?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Kat leaned on the check in desk, blinking in surprise. 

“That’s what was booked.” The woman peered at her screen. “A queen sized room.”

“But there’s two of us,” Amanda reminded her, her voice tight.

“I’m sorry, Detective. I’m afraid I’m all booked up otherwise.” The worker scrunched up her nose. “I think I may have a cot lying around.”

Kat and Amanda glanced at each other, their eyes wide. A motel cot was just asking for a messed up back for a week.

“We can share.” Amanda turned back to the counter. “Right, Kat?”

“Right.” Kat suddenly felt very thirsty, her throat dry. “No big deal.”

After dumping their bags in their room, neither looking at the single bed, Amanda suggested they find a pub to eat at. “I could use a drink.”

Luckily, there was a bar down the street that served dinner. It was dark and dirty, but Kat didn’t mind. The smell of grease made her stomach growl, and her mouth water. She hadn’t eaten since breakfast, forgoing lunch to finish up paperwork.

“Drink?” Amanda didn’t wait for Kat’s answer, flagging down the bartender.

“I’ll have a whiskey, neat.” Her eyes went to the blackboard menu. “And a burger with fries.”

The bartender nodded, then looked at Kat. “You?”

“Scotch and soda, please. I’ll have the burger too.”

He left to put in their order, and Kat’s eyes wandered over the tight space, with it’s neon signs and bright decor. “This reminds me of this lesbian bar in Brooklyn.”

“Ginger’s.” 

Kat turned to Amanda, surprised. “You know it?”

Amanda just shrugged. “Of course.”

Their drinks were put down on the bartop, interrupting Kat’s follow up questions before they could start.

The combination of liquor and the exhaustion from the drive loosened their tongues. Over their greasy meals, Amanda and Kat found that they had more in common then they first thought.

Besides the obvious work connection, they bonded over the fact that they grew up pretty poor. This started a debate about whether it was worse to be in a New York winter without heat, or a summer in Georgia without air conditioning. 

“You can’t say Winter is worse. You’ve never experienced summer in the south.” Kat noticed Amanda’s accent became more pronounced, whether it was from the talk of home or the alcohol. “You sleep naked, but still wake up hot and sticky.”

Kat’s thoughts betrayed her by imaging Amanda’s body sticky with sweat. She took a large swig of her drink, blood rushing to her cheeks.

___

The air was thick with tension as they changed into their pajamas, and slipped under the covers. Kat made sure to stick as close to the edge as possible, not wanting to make the other woman uncomfortable. She didn’t know many straight girls who were cool with sleeping in the same bed as her, unless they weren’t as straight as they said.

Was Amanda one of those girls? She knew about Ginger’s, after all. Maybe she’s just an ally, Kat thought. She had at least slept with two men, Kat knew for sure. There was no indication that Amanda was into women. Except the niggling feeling Kat got when Amanda stood a certain way, or the way she dressed sometimes. Her internal radar always seemed to ping when she looked at Amanda.

On the other side of the bed, Amanda turned onto her side. Then tossed onto her other side. Then on her back. She heard Kat shift. “Sorry,” Amanda whispered. “Can’t get comfy.”

“All good.” Kat turned to face Amanda. “Do you want me to ask for the cot?”

“Nah.” Amanda craned her neck to look at her. “Unless you want to.”

She felt Kat shake her head. “I’m used to sharing a bed.” 

“With your girlfriend?” Amanda’s voice came out confrontational, making her wince.

Kat stiffened. “No, with my sister.”

“Oh.”

They laid in silence for a minute. A passing car illuminated their room for a flash.

“I haven’t had a girlfriend in a while,” Kat whispered.

“Yeah, the pandemic kinda killed the dating game,” Amanda replied, folding her hands over her stomach. “Men weren’t really beating down the door before then either.”

“But you’re so beautiful!” Kat blurted out.

Amanda just chuckled sadly. “A lot of the guys I meet don’t want an automatic family.”

Kat propped herself on her elbow. “Not even to hook up?”

Amanda wrinkled her nose. “I think I’m getting too old to play that game.”

“That’s ridiculous. You’re fucking hot.” Woah, where’d that come from? Kat winced.

Amanda slowly turned towards Kat, their faces close now. “Yeah?”

“Yeah...”

In a split second, Amanda made a decision. She moved, and pressed her lips to Kat’s, who eagerly responded. Their movements became rushed, and soon Kat was pulling at Amanda’s tee. Amanda slipped it over her head, then helped Kat out of her own.

“Have you done this before?” Kat couldn’t help but ask.

“Yes.” Amanda’s mouth moved to Kat’s earlobe, her breath hot.

“At Ginger’s?” 

“A lady doesn’t kiss and tell.” Amanda bit down gently on her ear, making Kat moan. The sound flooded Amanda’s stomach with heat.

Amanda moved down Kat’s body, leaving open mouthed kisses. Her fingers ghosted over the front of Kat’s sports bra, making her nipples pebble. She leaned down, biting at one gently through the fabric.

“Oh, fuck!” Amanda hurriedly captured Kat’s groan in her mouth. Their tongues slipped over each other, wet and slick.

Amanda’s hand slipped under Kat’s hips, pulling down her pants and underwear in one tug. 

“Let me see you,” Amanda said, leaning over to snap on the lamp.

Now in the light, Kat could get a good look at Amanda leaning over her, her bare chest right in front of Kat’s face. Her breasts were full and round with pink stretch marks, and tiny nipples.

“Fucking gorgeous,” Kat breathed.

Amanda’s face broke into a cocky grin. “Not so bad yourself.”

They met back in a hurried kiss, tongues swirling around each other.

Kat felt Amanda’s hand on her inner thigh, stroking the sensitive skin. Kat shivered at the sensation, her eyes closing.

“What do you want?” Amanda’s voice in her ear.

Kat’s legs opened wider, begging for her touch. “Anything. You.”

Amanda’s mouth took her previous path, this time making it all the way down to where she wanted her most, the scent making Amanda’s mouth water.

She slid a finger down Kat’s slit, making the other woman gasp. She couldn’t help but tease, liking the way Kat’s eyes screwed shut in frustration.

“Amanda, please...”

Amanda ducked her head down, her mouth taking her finger’s place. She teased Kat’s entrance with her tongue, savoring the wetness that gathered there. 

“Please.”

Her tongue made contact with Kat’s clit, making her back arch. Kat’s thighs tightened around Amanda’s head more and more with every swipe. 

“Fuck, just like that.” 

Kat let out a gasp, Amanda’s mouth sucking hard on her clit. Heat built in Kat’s body, her muscles growing tight. The sheets were curled tight in her clenched fists.

“I’m close!”

Amanda could feel her, the wetness clinging to her lips, Kat’s hand moving to her hair, pulling gently as she pressed her cunt closer to Amanda’s face. Amanda suddenly pushed two fingers into her pussy, making Kat finally cum with a small scream of her name.

Amanda scissored her fingers, letting Kat ride out her orgasm, then moved up her body to give her a kiss, letting Kat taste herself on Amanda’s tongue.

Kat used the distraction to flip Amanda onto her back, straddling her hips. “My turn.”

Amanda shimmied out of her bottoms, finally leaving her bare. “Be my guest.”

Kat took her time, hands tracing Amanda’s breasts and collarbone. The light touch raised goosebumps on her body, her nipples hard. Kat circled one, then the other.

“Harder.” Amanda’s hand went to her own chest to demonstrate the strong pinch she liked. 

“You like it rough, huh?” Kat decided to up the game, and bit down on Amanda’s nipple instead.

Amanda groaned. “Fuck yeah, like that.”

Kat took the nipple in her mouth, sucking and biting the flesh. Amanda moaned loudly, her hand drifting down to her clit.

In a flash, Kat grabbed her wrist. “Nuh uh.” Kat grabbed the other wrist, and pinned them above Amanda’s blonde head. “Do I need to grab the cuffs?” Kat licked a stripe along Amanda’s neck. “Or are you going to be good?”

“I’ll be good,” Amanda promised. “But you should probably get going.” She bucked her hips pointedly, urging Kat to her pussy.

“Keep your hands there,” Kat ordered. She let go of Amanda, testing her. To her credit, Amanda didn’t move. “Good girl.”

She moved down the bed so she could get into a better position in front of Amanda’s cunt. It was mostly bare, except for a small triangle of blonde hair. Her lips were wet with her slick. 

Kat stroked her clit with her thumb, and in a quick move, thrust three fingers deep into her pussy, finding no resistance.

Amanda screamed, but didn’t move her hands to push Kat away. Kat pistoned in and out of her. “So good taking my fingers, baby.”

Kat’s words made Amanda tighten, her walls clenching down against Kat’s fingers. She moves her hand to massage Amanda’s front wall, the spot that Amanda could never reach on her own. 

It wasn’t long before Amanda was shuddering and gasping. “Oh, God….”

Kat withdrew her hand, pressing them into Amanda’s mouth. Her tongue made good work of cleaning off the younger girl’s fingers.

They both laid on their backs, breathing hard. Kat reached over to turn the lamp off, plunging the room back into darkness.

Amanda curled on her side, and Kat slung an arm around her waist, burying her face in her neck.

All tangled up, their tiny bed didn’t seem as small anymore.

[purplesurveys]

1327

Do you have mean comments that replay in your head and haunt you?  Sure, sometimes. They usually start playing in my head when I find myself alone and not really thinking of anything; but at least I find it easier to brush off now.

Did you go Black Friday shopping this past Black Friday?  We don’t have Black Friday but the closest thing we have our double-day sales, which we have every month. I don’t really take part in it as I don’t want to form the habit of putting shit on my cart just because a bunch of things are 90% off.

^If so, what was the best deal you got?  None. People here moving fucking fast, man. Things sell out within seconds, which is another reason I don’t bother participating.

Have you ever seen a spirit?  No. I’m not a believer.

Are you happy that the year is coming to an end?  Not really? The excitement I usually get when welcoming a new year has mostly faded down. My 2021 also went well for the most part so I don’t have that feeling of waiting for it to end.

Have you ever bought a designer purse?  I��ve never bought one, just gifted some.

What color was your senior prom dress?  I had a beige dress for junior prom; then I also got asked to a senior prom, for which I wore a navy blue gown.

Would you ever consider a career in writing?  I did in elementary school; I wanted to be an author. These days I am still into writing so the job I landed in requires a lot of it.

Have you ever purchased a YouTuber's merch? If so, what did you buy?  No. Those are hardly accessible where I’m from, anyway. I remember wanting to get a bunch of GMM merch during my phase last year but I didn’t know how to get a hold of them since they’re based in the US, soooo I ended up not buying any haha.

Are you better at spelling or writing?  Idk, I’d say both are my strong suits and I’m pretty particular towards either. But I guess I’ll go with spelling? just because I’m terrible at writing poems and fiction in general.

If someone signed you up for karate lessons, would you take them?  If the sessions were already paid for and if I can attend with a friend, yes. I’m not passionate enough about it to take it up on my own.

What was the last movie you watched? Would you recommend it to people?  I haven’t watched a movie in a while - can I name a TV show instead? Hahaha I watched Our Beloved Summer a week ago – the pilot was a bit of a drag so that might just turn people off for a bit, but Angela told me the next few episodes get a lot better so I still plan on continuing it.

Do you update your Facebook relationship status when it changes?  I never touch that option and don’t plan on doing so just because of all the social media that exists, Facebook’s the hotbed for murmurings and gossip, especially among your own family members. Otherwise, I’m very open in my other accounts like Twitter and would talk about things like relationships there.

Do you want your own house someday?  That’d be cool but it’s honestly not an ultimate goal of mine. I’d be perfectly happy staying in a condo.

Are you superstitious?  I’m in the very tiny majority of Filipinos who aren’t.

When you go to McDonalds, what drink do you usually get?  I don’t get any. I’m not a big beverages person, and I’m wary about the cleanliness of their service water haha so I typically would get water somewhere else.

Have you ever thought about your wedding?  Sometimes.

Would you rather see Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood in concert?  Neither.

Growing up, did you see your cousins often?  I lived with a couple of them for 10 whole years; then the others I would visit only every few months or so, so no, not very often.

Where was your first job at?  The job I have now.

Ever seen your parents make out?  I caught them once, when I was supposed to and thought to be asleep...so I can’t really blame them for that. I hated the image though and still do.

What’s your dream height and weight?  I’d love to be 5′5″ or 5′6″, but I’m fine with my current weight.

What do you do when your house loses power?  Turn on my data and contact our internet provider to ask what’s going on. After that I usually find myself going through my video roll to watch my saved TikToks hahahaha lol.

What piercing do you hate?  Hate is a bit of a strong word, though I can’t say I’m a fan of nipple piercings.

Were you raised in a religious house?  Yes. It did nothing for me, though. I’m pretty sure I was questioning the god they believed in as soon as I was capable of thinking for myself.

Do your parents get mad when your on the computer for hours?  Surprisingly, no. They were fine with 11 year old me using the laptop til the ass crack of dawn; they had a bigger issue with me picking up profanity from the internet, which I ultimately got grounded for.

Have you ever been asked for a nude picture?  Yes.

What’s your favorite thing about your crush/bf/gf?  I don’t have a crush in real life.

What’s the worst thing? 

What song can bring you down?  O by Coldplay is triggering to this day; I don’t revisit it unless I purposely plan on ~feeling things.

What would you do if your parent hit you?  [trigger warning: physical abuse] I’d be terrified as shit of my dad moving forward if he ever did...maybe even stop talking to him altogether since I’m pretty good at that anyway. My mom has been physical with me a few times, and as far as I remember I was unresponsive for the most part/I let it be.

Ever see yourself going to jail?  Nah.

Last song you sang?  Butter lol

Has the last person you kissed slept with more then 3 girls?  Probably, at this point. I wouldn’t be surprised, nor bothered.

Ever been tested for any STDs?  No.

Do you think it's weird when girls change in front of their bf/gf?  No. And why does it have to be girls, specifically?

Get a new camera or new phone? PHONE. A fucking phone. My phone’s slow death finally came to a head last night and I cannot press shit on the screen anymore haha. I’ve used my laptop for everything today and this will be the case until I get a new one. I might get a secondhand phone with my next pay just to serve as backup while I save up for my legit next phone, because I can’t do my work smoothly without one.

Last person that saw you naked (can’t be yourself):  Oh I have no clue. Probably my ex still.

Ever kissed someone half-naked?  Sure.

Is being sweaty nasty?  Yeah I hate it, especially if it’s humid too.

Are your parents embarrassing?  They have the tendency to be Karens, especially my mom. So yes, they can be embarrassing – not always, but still.

Do you prefer dating a virgin? Or a guy who's been around? I don’t give a shit.

Are you blond?  Nope.

Do you like bacon?  Love it.

Do you have an annoying dog?  Cooper can be annoying at times, I guess. He’s extremely hyper and gets excited/antsy from any passerby or passer-animal walking in front of the house.

What was the first comic book you ever had an obsession over?  Was never into comic books. I tried, but I couldn’t get into it.

What is your favorite thing to do on your phone?  Scroll through Facebook, watch YouTube, or play Rhythm Hive.

What color was your first phone? The case was red, but I don’t remember the color of the phone itself. Light grey, maybe? Older phones didn’t have much variety when it came to colors.

Was your first phone a flip phone?  Nah, it was an even older model; but I also got to have a flip phone.

If you're a girl, have you ever had an embarrassing period story?  Sure. 

What was your worst experience in high school?  Definitely being a loner.

How much did your senior prom dress cost you?  Not much.

What dreams have stuck with you since childhood? Going to Wrestlemania 50. It’s not as intense as it used to be anymore, but it remains to be a goal I keep at the back of my head.

Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship?  Yeah.

Did you ever take your dog to school?  I brought Kimi once, for my college grad shoot. I haven’t had the opportunity to take Cooper since, well, we got him during the pandemic.

If you had had a baby in high school, what would you have named him or her?  This is so specific hahaha, but April or Audrey for sure. I remember loving those names in high school and wanting to name my kid after AJ Lee or Audrey Hepburn.

If you had a baby now, what would you name him or her?  Olivia or Mia. Those have been my top picks for quite some time now. I barely think about boy names because I don’t want a son lol.

Have you ever seen someone throw up on a plane? I don’t think so, no. I’ve only seen that happen on that one episode of Mr. Bean.

Do you get motion sickness?  Yep, especially in cars.

Has God ever healed you of anything? If so, what?  I’d be lying if I said no...I keep forgetting that this is an Actual Thing that happened but I had an extremely brief phase in senior year high school where I sort of? reconnected? with religion? HAUFHUAIHDSKFHSDF this is so fucking gross to remember all over again but omg I remember dealing with shit that was happening back then a little easier because of it. Grossgrossgross. Thankfully I started college not long after and threw whatever that was that possessed me for a few months out of the window.

What is the most boring church you have ever attended?  Idk, all of them.

What is the most lively church you have ever attended?  Idk.

Do you find church fun or boring?  Boring.

What do you hate the most about summer?  Humidity and the unforgiving heat.

Which part of your body is the most muscular?  I’m not muscular at all.

Did you ever take Latin in school?  Nope.

Which major holiday is closest to your birthday?  Easter Sunday, usually. Depends on the liturgical year.

What is your favorite Japanese name?  Michiko.

Have you ever ran a cash register?  Nope.

Did you collect Bratz dolls when you were younger?  I didn’t collect dolls in general but holy fuck was I obsessed with Bratz, though. I brought a Bratz lunchbox and backpack throughout preschool, had a hundred Bratz tank tops, gave away Bratz-themed goodies at my 7th birthday party...it was really a Thing, lmao.

Do you think your mom is attractive?  She is. She looks incredibly youthful for her age, too.

What was the last thing that disappointed you?  I finally applied for a few leaves this week after 1) not missing a beat all year long and 2) both of my bosses begging me to “please take leaves and fucking rest, Robyn” only for both of them to be turned down; I was told it was because a lot of people at work are also already on leaves this week. I find it a ridiculous explanation buuuut I was too tired at the time to challenge it.

Do you like the feeling in your stomach on a big drop on a roller coaster? I fucking hate it, which is why I never go on rides.

Skeletons or scarecrows?  Skeletons.

Do you own pumpkin earrings?  Nopes.

What computer game did you used to play all the time?  Diner Dash LOL

When was the last time you read a book? I can’t even remember.

Would you allow your children to date prior to 16? (assuming you want any)  Sure.

What was the last restaurant you made a reservation at?  I don’t normally have to do this but my friends and I did something similar recently, I guess? We planned to have Korean food delivered for the online BTS concert last October, only to find out that the restaurant we frequent started taking reservations for the first time for orders on the day of the show, precisely because they were expecting an influx of orders for said concert.

For context and additional appreciation lol, there had also been an online concert back in June – we ordered from them too but they didn’t have the reservation setup yet, so our order took FOREVER to come. Like literally, it came only when the show was already over hahahah so I guess they learned from that experience and introduced reservations so that incidents like this didn’t have to happen anymore moving forward.

Which app on your phone do you tend to get the most notifications from?  Viber.

What is something you gave up on after many failed attempts?  Embroidery, haha. I will forever be grateful to it, though. It served as therapy and comfort to my then-heartbroken self.

Do you watch political shows? Just The Crown, but I haven’t revisited it in a while.

Do you play any fantasy/roleplaying games? What?  No.

Do you like salami?  No.

When was the last time you ate meat?  I had sisig for dinner, so.

What was the last hot drink you drank? I don’t take hot beverages; never learned how to enjoy them.

Have your parents met your boyfriend/exes?  They have met her, but under the assumption that she was a best friend. I never introduced her as a girlfriend.

How about your boyfriend’s parents? Met them?  I got to meet and be introduced as a girlfriend to my ex’s parents.

Do you know how to say I love you in at least 4 languages?  Yeah - offhand I can think of 6: English, Filipino, Spanish, Korean, French, and German.

Do you find the sound of a cat's purr relaxing?  No, I get tense lol.

Do you know your mum’s first pet's name?  I do know it, I just can’t seem to remember it at the moment.

Would you ever want to be famous? If so, for what?  I wish I was one of those vloggers that managed to strike gold and get lucky with having their videos and views take off, even though they just portray daily life haha.

Would you ever get a heart tattoo or your back?  Nope.

What fruit can’t you stand?  Mangoes, if they’re not in sushi.

Do you know anyone autistic?  Yes.

How about someone bipolar?  Yes.

What do you consider private to you?  Traumatic stuff from childhood.

Name somebody you know who deserves a better life than they have:  Street children.

Name something that you’re good at but don’t like:  Neglecting myself lol...like not realizing I haven’t drunk water or peed until like, 10 PM. Happens a lot these days.

Name something that you’re bad at but DO like:  I tend to not enjoy doing things I already know I’m bad at.

Name somebody who has tried to help you and ended up hurting you:  My mom.

Name a date that has a lot of significance to you:  April 7.

Name something in your life that was a blessing in disguise:  Discovering BTS. Yeah I entered a black hole, yeah I've lost so much money investing in these boys’ merch...but they’ve made me immeasurably fucking happy this year. Absolutely changed my life for the better in 2021, it’s ridiculous.

Name something that you’ve done that would be considered rebellious:  Attending rallies in college.

Name something you wish you had enough money to do:  Afford food delivery everyday because I can’t cook.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #424

“got no superspeed, but i’m running this town”

What is the first line in the song you are currently listening to/last listened to? "I’m running out of time; I hope that I can save you somehow.” Are you an easy lay? Not in the slightest. What was the last reason you cried? Life and how inexplicably I'm failing at it. What’s hurting you right now? More like what isn't. Do you remember important dates? Only some. I'm awful with numbers. Do you own anything with the Playboy Bunny on it? No. Do you own a bean bag chair? No. Have you ever played Gamecube? At a friend's house. Have you ever played with toy cars before? Yeah, with my nephew. He LOVES monster trucks. Have you ever touched a caterpillar? Oh, definitely. I loved picking them up as a kid. What is your favorite kind of salad? Just plain 'ole iceberg lettuce with ranch, really. Are you any good at Ping-Pong? Holy hell no, I SUCK. What was/is your high school mascot? A firebird. Can you make cute little animals by folding paper? God no, I'm awful at origami. Like, I have zero concept of how to do it. What kind of music do you like? Various types of metal and rock. Do you like apple juice? Yeah. Do you like to draw? It's funny, like I do love it, but I barely ever do it because I get frustrated when I can't get what's in my head onto paper. What do you put on your french fries? Generally ketchup. How many people can comfortably sleep in your bed? Two. Do you want to have a big family in the future? I don't want kids, just pets. Probably a lot of pets. Is Vegas one of your must-see places? No. Pet rat: yay or nay? I've had multiple pet rats and I adore them. I've come to find I'm not the best at keeping rodents because changing the bedding so much sucks ass, but nevertheless they are fantastic pets for people who don't mind the maintenance. Would you call yourself a writer? Written any stories lately? Yes. I haven't written in a while, though. I just have absolutely zero motivation to RP. Are you good at reading people's body language? I probably overanalyze it, really. Ever threatened somebody and actually went through with it? I don’t threaten people. Does holding newborn babies scare you? Extremely. I feel like they're made of thin glass. Piercings: yay or nay? I LOVE piercings. They add an interesting touch to your appearance and to me just (usually) look super cool. There are very few piercings I don't like. Do you have a collage of pictures in your bedroom? No, but I want to make a motivation board very badly. Favorite Nicholas Cage movie? Ghost Rider. Were video games better in the 1980s, 1990s, or the 2000s? Why? '80s games bore me honestly, but I love some '90s and many 2000s games. I've got to say ultimately newer games win, because of graphics increasing immersion (no, I do not whatsoever believe graphics are everything or always make a better experience), voice acting improving immensely, etc. Have you ever watched The Beverly Hillbillies? Yes! Mom loves it so I used to watch it a lot with her as a kid. I'd still watch it. Did your mother ever sing lullabies to you when you were younger? Yes. Are you ready to get out of this town? I HATE THIS TOOOWN, IT'S SO WASHED UUU-UP, AND ALL MY FRIENDS DON'T GIVE A FUUU-UUUUUCK god hell yes get me the fuck out. Do you know anybody that is pregnant right now? Quite a few. What are you listening to? "Superluv” by Shane Dawson. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? No. Does your father have any facial hair? Yes. Did your grandparents teach you anything? My maternal grandmother, the only one I really ever knew, taught me I'm a disappointment, pretty much. And a bitch. Do you want/have a Bachelor’s degree? It'd be nice to have one, but I don't, and I'm not pursuing it again. I've wasted enough of my parents' money. Are you into superheroes? Who’s your favourite? Not seriously, but I enjoy them well enough. I like Spider-Man. What did you have for dinner last night? Mom ordered Mexican. I had two shrimp and cheese quesadillas and rice with cheese. Do you think you look similar to your siblings? No. Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it? Yeah, it's fun. Do you know your best friend’s middle name? Yes. Are you close to your father? I am. Have you ever had a serious conversation with your dad? Yeah. Would you rather have long or short hair? I enjoy having short hair way more. Who did you go/plan on going with to prom? I went with Jason twice. Have you ever been to a debate and speech tournament? Hell no, and I never would. Arguing makes me cry lmao. Are you someone who enjoys stand-up comedy? Yep. What’s one thing that scares you about living alone and being independent? A lot of things do, but one thing in specific that I fear is that I let the house become cluttered and messy. I'm so shit at cleaning, especially when I'm depressed. It's why my own bedroom isn't even fully decorated, and we've lived here since I wanna say last November. If someone offered you an all-expenses paid trip to one European country, where would you go and why? Germany, 'cuz I enjoy the culture and would love to try some foods and visit places. Have you ever won anything on the lottery? No. Are you interested in the World Cup? I couldn't possibly care less. What’s the longest time you’ve ever been on a plane for? Idk. Do you let your hair dry naturally or do you towel-dry it or blow dry it? I use a towel to dry it some, then let it really get the job done naturally. How many of the Harry Potter books have you read? None. Who last gave you their number? When I posted on Facebook about going on a mental health hiatus, my good friend Alon messaged me her number if I ever needed to talk. I was really thankful. Are you often the last one to understand a joke? Honestly yeah. I'm slow to grasp a lot of things. Your first black eye: Did you give it or get it? Never gotten or given one. Have you ever slept in a tent, indoors or out? Yes to both. Are you mad right now? I'm annoyed, but not mad. Are you allergic to nuts or dairy products? No. Has anyone ever called the cops on you? No. Do you ever actually drink milk alone? Yeah, I love milk. Do you have a sensitive gag reflex? It is EXTREMELY sensitive. What was the last situation to upset you? I'd rather not talk about it. Have you ever had an online argument? I have been heavily active on the Internet since I was like, 11. Maybe younger. I have been in plenty. Are you at risk for any medical issues? A lot of heart problems run in my family. I'm also suspicious I may develop diabetes, which also runs very heavily in my family. What were you doing at 7:00 a.m.? Surprisingly, I was asleep. Do you own a robe? No. What would you consider your life to be? A wreck. What is your favorite mark of punctuation? I like question marks. Who knows your biggest secret? Nobody. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Probably not. How do you know? I just doubt it. I'm so unlikable right now. Could you go a day without eating? I don't think I could. I do not react to stomach pain well, and that includes when I'm hungry. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? None. What’s your favorite drink? Strawberry Sunkist, but I don't allow myself to have it. I will DESTROY a can or five of it. Who was the last person that texted you? My mom. What are you craving? Nothing really right now. What was the first thing you ate today? An everything bagel. What was the last type of meat you ate? Pork. Have you taken any medication today? Yeah, I take some prescription meds in the morning and at night. Have you ever been to Hawaii? No, but that'd be cool. Do you know anyone who has diabetes? My mom, for one. Have you ever made a boy cry? Sadly. Who are you talking to? Nobody. Do you think you’ve ruined your chances with someone? Absolutely. Your parents split; would you want to live with your mom or dad? My parents are divorced, and I stayed with Mom. Would you strongly prefer to go out with someone of your own skin color/racial background? I couldn't care less. For you personally, is abortion an option in case of an accidental pregnancy? For others, absolutely. It's your right. For me myself, it's possible, idk. If I was God forbid raped, I probably would have an abortion. If I accidentally got pregnant in a healthy relationship, I'd probably have a "too bad, so sad" outlook where I'd suck it up and go through with the gestation because having sex and risking pregnancy was my own decision. Even if I'm pro-choice, I think I'd feel too guilty aborting, especially with the child being someone's I love. Is it a requirement that you communicate every day with your significant other (via phone, text, in person, whatever)? IF I had an s/o, no. I like to, but sometimes you just want space. Are you fetish-friendly? I'm not gonna lie, some fetishes are just too fucking weird for me. I TRY not to judge, because I doubt you can actually help fetishes, but I inevitably do sometimes. If you're asking would I engage in fetishes because my s/o liked them, possibly, but it would really depend on what it is. Have you ever cosplayed? No. I think cosplay is really cool, though. Do you support the exploration of outer space? If yes, would you consider taking a trip into space, or even to another planet? As creatures who crave knowledge and understanding of our universe, I do support space exploration, but I do NOT believe we should be spending as much money as we do on it. Taking care of the planet we're actually on is far more important imo. I wouldn't personally go to outer space. Is it okay for men to wear makeup? What’s your opinion of male crossdressers? It's totally okay! Guys with makeup can be super attractive. Crossdressers, too. Go for it. You’re in a new relationship and your partner admits that they have had 14 sexual partners. Does that sound like a lot to you? For me personally, yes. I don't even know if I'd date someone with 14 past sexual partners, honestly. I would admittedly question their loyalty. Would you let your children under 13 watch movies with full nudity? No. If someone asked you, “What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?” would you know the answer right away? I would. What is your opinion concerning strip clubs? Not my scene at all, but so long as you respect the dancers, whatever. You do you.

[bananaofswifts]

Your guide to the singer-songwriter’s surprise follow-up to Folklore.

By

CARL WILSON

When everything’s clicking for Taylor Swift, the risk is that she’s going to push it too far and overtax the public appetite. On “Mirrorball” from Folklore, she sings, with admirable self-knowledge, “I’ve never been a natural/ All I do is try, try, try.” So when I woke up yesterday to the news that at midnight she was going to repeat the trick she pulled off with Folklore in July—surprise-releasing an album of moody pop-folk songs remote-recorded in quarantine with Aaron Dessner of the National as well as her longtime producer Jack Antonoff—I was apprehensive. Would she trip back into the pattern of overexposure and backlash that happened between 1989 and Reputation?

Listening to the new Evermore, though, that doesn’t feel like such a threat. A better parallel might be to the “Side B” albums that Carly Rae Jepsen put out after both Emotion and Dedicated, springing simply out of the artist’s and her fans’ mutual enthusiasm. Or, closer to Swift’s own impulses here, publishing an author’s book of short stories soon after a successful novel. Lockdown has been a huge challenge for musicians in general, but it liberated Swift from the near-perpetual touring and publicity grind she’s been on since she was a teen, and from her sense of obligation to turn out music that revs up stadium crowds and radio programmers. Swift has always seemed most herself as the precociously talented songwriter; the pop-star side is where her try-hard, A-student awkwardness surfaces most. Quarantine came as a stretch of time to focus mainly on her maturing craft (she turns 31 on Sunday), to workshop and to woodshed. When Evermore was announced, she said that she and her collaborators—clearly mostly Dessner, who co-writes and/or co-produces all but one of these 15 songs—simply didn’t want to stop writing after Folklore.

This record further emphasizes her leap away from autobiography into songs that are either pure fictions or else lyrically symbolic in ways that don’t act as romans à clef. On Folklore, that came with the thrill of a breakthrough. Here, she fine-tunes the approach, with the result that Evermore feels like an anthology, with less of an integrated emotional throughline. But that it doesn’t feel as significant as Folklore is also its virtue. Lowered stakes offer permission to play around, to joke, to give fewer fucks—and this album definitely has the best swearing in Swift’s entire oeuvre.

Because it’s nearly all Dessner overseeing production and arrangements, there isn’t the stylistic variety that Antonoff’s greater presence brought to Folklore. However, Swift and Dessner seem to have realized that the maximalist-minimalism that dominated Folklore, with layers upon layers of restrained instrumental lines for the sake of atmosphere, was too much of a good thing. There are more breaks in the ambience on Evermore, the way there was with Folklore’s “Betty,” the countryish song that was among many listener’s favorites. But there are still moments that hazard misty lugubriousness, and perhaps with reduced reward.

Overall, people who loved Folklore will at least like Evermore too, and the minority of Swift appreciators who disapproved may even warm up to more of the sounds here. I considered doing a track-by-track comparison between the two albums, but that seemed a smidgen pathological. Instead, here is a blatantly premature Day 1 rundown of the new songs as I hear them.

A pleasant yet forgettable starting place, “Willow” has mild “tropical house” accents that recall Ed Sheeran songs of yesteryear, as well as the prolix mixed metaphors Swift can be prone to when she’s not telling a linear story. But not too severely. I like the invitation to a prospective lover to “wreck my plans.” I’m less sure why “I come back stronger than a ’90s trend” belongs in this particular song, though it’s witty. “Willow” is more fun as a video (a direct sequel to Folklore’s “Cardigan” video) than as a lead track, but I’m not mad at it here either.

Written with “William Bowery”—the pseudonym of Swift’s boyfriend Joe Alwyn, as she’s recently confirmed—this is the first of the full story songs on Evermore, in this case a woman describing having walked away from her partner on the night he planned to propose. The music is a little floaty and non-propulsive, but the tale is well painted, with Swift’s protagonist willingly taking the blame for her beau’s heartbreak and shrugging off the fury of his family and friends—“she would have made such a lovely bride/ too bad she’s fucked in the head.” Swift sticks to her most habitual vocal cadences, but not much here goes to waste. Except, that is, for the title phrase, which doesn’t feel like it adds anything substantial. (Unless the protagonist was drunk?) I do love the little throwaway piano filigree Dessner plays as a tag on the end.

This is the sole track Antonoff co-wrote and produced, and it’s where a subdued take on the spirit of 1989-style pop resurges with necessary energy. Swift is singing about having a crush on someone who’s too attractive, too in-demand, and relishing the fantasy but also enjoying passing it up. It includes some prime Swiftian details, like, “With my Eagles t-shirt hanging from your door,” or, “At dinner parties I call you out on your contrarian shit.” The line about this thirst trap’s “hair falling into place like dominos” I find much harder to picture.

This is where I really snapped to attention. After a few earlier attempts, Swift has finally written her great Christmas song, one to stand alongside “New Year’s Day” in her holiday canon. And it’s especially a great one for 2020, full of things none of us ought to do this year—go home to visit our parents, hook up with an ex, spend the weekend in their bedroom and their truck, then break their hearts again when we leave. But it’s done with sincere yuletide affection to “the only soul who can tell which smiles I’m faking,” and “the warmest bed I’ve ever known.” All the better, we get to revisit these characters later on the album.

On first listen, I found this one of the draggiest Dressner compositions on the record. Swift locates a specific emotional state recognizably and poignantly in this song about a woman trapped (or, she wonders, maybe not trapped?) in a relationship with an emotionally withholding, unappreciative man. But the static keyboard chord patterns and the wandering melody that might be meant to evoke a sense of disappointment and numbness risk yielding numbing and disappointing music. Still, it’s growing on me.

Featuring two members of Haim—and featuring a character named after one of them, Este—“No Body, No Crime” is a straight-up contemporary country song, specifically a twist on and tribute to the wronged-woman vengeance songs that were so popular more than a decade ago, and even more specifically “Before He Cheats,” the 2006 smash by Carrie Underwood, of which it’s a near musical clone, just downshifted a few gears. Swift’s intricate variation on the model is that the singer of the song isn’t wreaking revenge on her own husband, but on her best friend’s husband, and framing the husband’s mistress for the murder. It’s delicious, except that Swift commits the capital offence of underusing the Haim sisters purely as background singers, aside from one spoken interjection from Danielle.

This one has some of the same issues as “Tolerate It,” in that it lags too much for too long, but I did find more to focus on musically here. Lyrically and vocally, it gets the mixed emotions of a relatively amicable divorce awfully damned right, if I may speak from painfully direct experience.

This is the song sung from the POV of the small-town lover that the ambitious L.A. actress from “Tis the Damn Season”—Dorothea, it turns out—has left behind in, it turns out, Tupelo. Probably some years past that Xmas tryst, when the old flame finally has made it. “A tiny screen’s the only place I see you now,” he sings, but adds that she’s welcome back anytime: “If you’re ever tired of being known/ For who you know/ You know that you’ll always know me.” It’s produced and arranged with a welcome lack of fuss. Swift hauls out her old high-school-romance-songs vocal tone to reminisce about “skipping the prom/ just to piss off your mom,” very much in the vein of Folklore’s teen-love-triangle trilogy.

A duet with Dessner’s baritone-voiced bandmate in the National, Matt Berninger, “Coney Island” suffers from the most convoluted lyrics on Evermore (which, I wonder unkindly, might be what brought Berninger to mind?). The refrain “I’m on a beach on Coney Island, wondering where did my baby go” is a terrific tribute to classic pop, but then Swift rhymes it with “the bright lights, the merry go,” as if that’s a serviceable shorthand for merry-go-round, and says “sorry for not making you my centerfold,” as if that’s somehow a desirable relationship outcome. The comparison of the bygone affair to “the mall before the internet/ It was the one place to be” is clever but not exactly moving, and Berninger’s lines are worse. Dessner’s droning arrangement does not come to the rescue.

This song is also overrun with metaphors but mostly in an enticing, thematically fitting way, full of good Swiftian dark-fairytale grist. It’s fun to puzzle out gradually the secret that all the images are concealing—an engaged woman being drawn into a clandestine affair. And there are several very good “goddamns.”

The lyrical conceit here is great, about two gold-digging con artists whose lives of scamming are undone by their falling in love. It reminded me of the 1931 pre-Code rom-com Blonde Crazy, in which James Cagney and Joan Blondell act out a very similar storyline. And I mostly like the song, but I can’t help thinking it would come alive more if the music sounded anything like what these self-declared “cowboys” and “villains” might sing. It’s massively melancholy for the story, and Swift needs a far more winningly roguish duet partner than the snoozy Marcus Mumford. It does draw a charge from a couple of fine guitar solos, which I think are played by Justin Vernon (aka Bon Iver, who will return shortly).

The drum machine comes as a refreshing novelty at this point. And while this song is mostly standard Taylor Swift torrents of romantic-conflict wordplay (full of golden gates and pedestals and dropping her swords and breaking her high heel, etc.), the pleasure comes in hearing her look back at all that and shrugging, “Long story short, it was a bad ti-i-ime,” “long story short, it was the wrong guy-uy-uy,” and finally, “long story short, I survived.” She passes along some counsel I’m sure she wishes she’d had back in the days of Reputation: “I wanna tell you not to get lost in these petty things/ Your nemeses will defeat themselves.” It’s a fairly slight song but an earned valedictory address.

Swift fan lore has it that she always sequences the real emotional bombshell as Track 5, but here it is at 13, her lucky number. It’s sung to her grandmother, Marjorie Finlay, who died when Swift was in her early teens, and it manages to be utterly personal—down to the sample of Marjorie singing opera on the outro—and simultaneously utterly evocative to anyone who’s been through such grief. The bridge, full of vivid memories and fierce regrets, is the clincher.

This electroacoustic kiss-off song, loaded up with at least a fistful of gecs if not a full 100 by Dessner and co-producers BJ Burton and James McAlister, seems to be, lyrically, one of Swift’s somewhat tedious public airings of some music-industry grudge (on which, in case you don’t get it, she does not want “closure”), but, sonically, it’s a real ear-cleaner at this point on Evermore. Why she seems to shift into a quasi-British accent for fragments of it is anyone’s guess. But I’m tickled by the line, “I’m fine with my spite and my tears and my beers and my candles.”

I’m torn about the vague imagery and vague music of the first few verses of the album’s final, title track. But when Vernon, in full multitracked upper-register Bon Iver mode, kicks in for the duet in the middle, there’s a jolt of urgency that lands the redemptive ending—whether it’s about a crisis in love or the collective crisis of the pandemic or perhaps a bit of both—and satisfyingly rounds off the album.

[anywhozits]

All I Really Want Chapter 7

Rating: M

Pairing: Kristanna eventuallyyy

Verse: 90s High School AU / frozen retelling

Chapter Summary: Anna celebrates her 15th birthday.

Notes: Thank you for reading!!! Also there is some language, underage drinking, and homophobia in this chapter - be warned! (also tw emotional abuse)

Read on Ao3 here!

June twenty-fucking-first.

Another year. Fifteen, now.

And… Anna was excited, objectively, sure. At her very core, she felt excited because she knew she should be excited. But still, the very nature of this date always left her with a huge pit in her stomach.

There was just so much pressure. So much hope and want and desire for the love she craved to fill her first moments of fifteen.

Anna used to think she loved her birthday. The attention… the entire day naturally being about her—like, she knew she was supposed to enjoy it. She loved attention. She’d never deny that.

But…

In reality, her birthday stressed her out. There were all these expectations. Wanting people to acknowledge her, surprise her, and do all these special things to show they care. And yeah, this was probably way too much to ask on her 15th birthday but she wanted to feel … desired.

And yet she worried that wouldn’t happen this year.

Because her birthday was and had always been so full of disappointment.

Elsa forgot. Her parents forgot. Over the years one or two or all three of them forgot. They would ignore her the whole dumb day and then Anna would end up sobbing alone in her huge stupid room that had no reason to be so huge when it felt so lonely.

So far today, not one member of her family had acknowledged her. Her mother was definitely taking a nap or something. Who the hell knew where her dad was… and Elsa hadn’t called (yet, Anna thought, maybe too optimistically), but she was busy at this pre-college academic program at Pomona. So she had an okay excuse.

At least this year Anna got to spend her birthday with Hans. With Hans, maybe it’d be different. He already made the prom milestone so special that she had no doubt he’d do the same for her birthday.

No disappointments this year. Fingers crossed.

And how could she forget? She had Kristoff, too. And Kristoff never forgot. Kristoff always tried his best to make it special.

In fact, he’d already done something for her—he’d left her a card and a mixtape. This had to be her 37th Kristoff Bjorgman mixtape. And every new tape was better than the last.

He... well, um—that gesture alone made her feel desired.

She was officially on her third listen of the mixtape, and the sweet sweet tunes of Modest Mouse’s Dramamine filled her room.

In the past, he tended to include recordings of Pissed Off Kids, but Kristoff had made it extra special this time—the final song of the tape was instead a solo of Kristoff’s smooth tenor singing Better Man by Pearl Jam. Naturally he also hit all of the epic guitar riffs.

Anna loved it.

This lovely thought paired with the swelling sounds of Dramamine put her in a trance. Deep in her emotions, Anna swayed to the beat, instantly craving something more.

Traveling swallowing Dramamine

Look at your face like you're killed in a dream

She crawled on the floor and under her bed, pulling out a blue plastic box that housed her entire stash. The stash was once discovered by the family’s housekeeper, Anna (pronounced A-nuh not Ah-nuh), who subsequently revealed it to Agnarr and Iduna. Obviously, they did nothing about it. Duh. They gave zero shits. Zero. And it had devastated her, somehow. To not be yelled at or grounded… to not have her entire stash confiscated.

And you think you've figured out everything

I think I know my geography pretty damn well

Clearly, Anna had no reason to hide it anymore but leaving it out in the open took most of the fun away. So here it was back in the blue plastic box under her bed. Various bottles of alcohol, rolling paper, a pipe, a lighter, some weed, and an unopened bottle of Xanax with Iduna Larsen’s name on the label.

You say what you need so you'll get more

If you could just milk it for everything

Actually, come to think of it—Anna’s entire stash had been collected from her parent’s room.

I've said what I said, and you know what I mean

But I can't still focus on anything

Looking squarely at the box and its contents, Anna bit her lip. She needed this. And, why? Well, it was a combination of her baseline birthday nerves and the aftermath of the intense sob-fest she had when the oh-so-topical So Unsexy by Alanis Morrissette played on Kristoff’s mixtape. Oh, and of course the fact that her parents probably fucking forgot her birthday yet again… So, she took out the rolling paper and the Ziploc baggie that contained a few grams of weed.

Then, some weird crashing sound echoed from her window, which made her gasp and spook slightly.

Walking over to the window, drawing the curtains, and emerging onto her Juliet balcony, she noticed Hans and his goofy grin, standing in the driveway like he was a regular John Cusack.

When she saw that he had a bunch of tiny pebbles in his hand, it all made sense.

Anna’s heart fluttered. She loved it. She, like, literally loved it. So romantic.

“Can I come up?” He shouted, and Anna blushed. She was basically real-life Juliet at this point.

“Of course!” Anna called, and Hans started off in a sprint toward the rose trellis that led up the side of the house and into her window. “You don’t have to sneak in, you know!”

But he smiled devilishly and yelled, “I want to!”

Anna laughed and rolled her eyes at his definitely not-necessary efforts, but her stomach also did a few backflips. It was literally 500 times more romantic for him to climb up the trellis than it was for him to simply walk through the unlocked front door.

He pulled himself onto the balcony and Anna kissed him deeply. She couldn’t help but sigh—she was so, unbelievably happy to see him today.

“Happy birthday, babe,” he cooed in between kisses.

“Aww, thank you! I’m so happy you’re here.” After kissing a few more times, they ended up back in her bedroom where Kristoff’s singing now boomed through the room. Anna’s eyes fell to the blue plastic box—right. She had plans. “I was gonna do a little something to, uh, match the general vibe of this mixtape Kristoff made for me if you maybe wanted to join?” Anna gestured to the rolling paper and Ziploc bag.

Hans shook his head but then did a double-take. “Kristoff made you a mixtape?”

“Yep! He’s made me, like, tons of them.”

She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man.

“Who’s this? Pearl Jam or some shit?”

“Yeah, but not—"

“Damn, he really thinks he’s emo, huh?”

“—because it’s Kristoff who’s singing. Pearl Jam cover, yeah, but…”

She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man.

Hans laughed, heartily. “He’s pathetic.”

…huh?

“What?”

“You’re telling me he specifically chose this song to sing for you, recorded it, and then actually had the balls to give it to you?”

“Uh-huh.”

Another robust chuckle from Hans.

Anna furrowed her eyebrows. “What’s the big deal?”

“Are you even listening to these lyrics?”

“Um, yes, I—"

Hans laughed again. “You have no idea, do you?”

Anna pouted. She hated feeling naïve. Especially now that she was such a woman. Fifteen and a woman. Not naïve, not anywhere near naïve.

“No, I ... I know. Duh. I totally know what you’re talking about.” But she really didn’t. She had no idea what the hell he meant.

“So fucking pathetic,” Hans said, shaking his head. “But whatever. He’s not even a little bit threatening, is he?”

Threatening?

Oh.

Ohohohoh.

Hans thought… no way.

Kristoff wasn’t pathetic. He wasn’t pining after Anna or whatever. No duh he wasn’t. Absolutely no way.

They were just friends.

And, besides, Kristoff chose these songs because he knew Anna would like them. There was no connection between the themes or lyrics of the songs and how he felt about Anna. None at all… there couldn’t be a connection, because if there were, then… the whole sister thing was bullshit. But it wasn’t. No way in hell. Like, it couldn’t be.

Then why was Hans so convinced?

Before Anna could give this another thought, her bedroom door flew open.

She reflexively ran to the plastic box stash and kicked it back under her bed. For no real reason beyond wanting to keep some kind of classic-teenage air of mystery about herself.

Not that she had any earthly idea who the hell was coming barging into her room on this particular day at this particular hour.

But then when she saw the hint of blonde hair zooming past her and then engulfing her in a huge hug, she beamed. Elsa. Exactly who she wanted to come barging into her room.

“Anna!” She exclaimed as she hugged and hugged and hugged her sister. “Happy happy happy birthday! Fifteen—wow. I’m absolutely thrilled that I get to celebrate with you today.”

Anna didn’t want to pull away. So she didn’t. She held on tighter, savoring this moment she thought would never in a million years come to pass. “I’m really happy too, Els. I thought… weren’t you at school? How’d you even get here?”

“Mom and dad picked me up.”

“…really?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Why?”

“So I could be here for your birthday.”

“They should really just get you a car or something so they don’t have—” And then the pin dropped. “Wait, what?”

Anna finally pulled away from her sister and stared at her incredulously.

“Yeah—they picked me up so we could have a proper celebration.”

“But…wait. You’re saying…a proper celebration for… for my birthday? Our parents wanted to do this? For me?”

“At Hans’s insistence, actually.”

“Hans?” Anna’s eyes darted to her not-boyfriend. “You… did this?”

“Only took a couple phone calls with your parents, a few with Elsa. And then magic was made.”

“I can’t believe you did this for me.”

“Of course I did, babe. I love you.”

Anna’s heart fluttered the most it had ever fluttered. It fluttered so much she honestly worried it might fly away out of her chest and off the balcony or something totally wild like that.

Hans was perfect. She was so lucky to have Hans. The perfect not-boyfriend who made her birthday okay again. More than okay, rather. Magical, wonderful. Perfect.

She didn’t even notice as Kristoff’s next selection, All Over You, started playing in the background.

And then the door swung open again and the two essential strangers she called parents walked in to also swarm Anna with massive hugs.

It felt… strange. Uncharacteristic. Almost like… almost like seeing a teacher at the movie theater, sitting down to watch the same movie you’re seeing with friends.

That level of weird.

But at the same time, it was a type of weird that Anna embraced more than anything else.

Because her parents were hugging her… they were acknowledging her.

They hadn’t forgotten her birthday.

“I rented us a Duffy boat for the afternoon,” Agnarr explained. “Kai set it all up for us—stocked with the best Cristal and naturally Anna’s favorite charcuterie board.”

“Ooh cured meats. A birthday delight.” Shit Anna had no idea how to interact with her parents anymore. Who even was this person—cured meats? Like yeah, she loved cured meats of course but damn this felt awkward.

“Actually, we should consider heading out soon. Don’t want to find ourselves on the blacklist at the Yacht Club, you know.”

That may sound like a joke but their close family friends actually did get blacklisted from the Yacht Club. Well, it had much more to do with some kind of scandalous drug and prostitute type situation than it did with being late, but… the fear was there.

“Should we bring your stereo?”

“Oh, yeah! Yes. Great idea. Kristoff actually made me a mixtape for my birthday, so—yeah. I’d love to have that along for the celebration too!”

They brought the speaker. They brought the Cristal and the charcuterie. Anna brought her now sunny and enthused birthday disposition.

Her family. And Hans. All together. Right now. On her birthday. Like, shit.

It felt like something out of her absolute favorite dream of all time.

And, yes, this whole Duffy boat thing was the most freaking Orange County plan of all time. But that meant her dad had to have planned ahead, since Duffy boats booked up ahead of time.

She felt so loved. So loved.

Once they arranged themselves in the boat, Anna turned on the stereo. So Unsexy played again, but Alanis didn’t get to her this time. Nobody had forgotten her birthday. She wasn’t alone. She felt, like, confident for once… damn. This was nice.

Hans moved to sit next to Agnarr, looking for a lesson about driving the boat, and Iduna sat close to the two of them, smiling. It was a Good Day. Anna could already tell.

“Aww, Alanis?” Elsa asked.

“Yeah!”

“Wouldn’t’ve expected Kristoff to put this on his mixtape.”

“Well, I mean, it’s because of you.”

“What? Really?

“Mmhmm. Because he, um, he knows how much Alanis means to you and because Alanis means so much to you she means so much to me. I really—”

“That’s so sweet.”

“You mean it?”

“Yeah.” Elsa leaned in to give her sister a huge hug. “I’m happy I get to spend more time with you.”

Anna relaxed into Elsa’s hold. She would thank the stars every day for this magnificent change. “Me, too.”

“Did you know the song You Oughta Know is about Uncle Joey?”

“Shut up. Really? For real?”

“For real for real.”

“No shit,” Anna laughed. “I didn’t think he had it in him.”

“Yeah!” Hans chimed in. “No pull for Uncle Joey.”

“But, wow, yeah. Um,” Anna’s cheeks flushed red and she locked her eyes with Hans. “Guess he must’ve been pretty mind-blowing in bed.”

Hans winked at her and Anna all but shivered on the spot. Hold it together, Anna. Hold it together.

But Elsa entertained them zero, shaking her head. “He took advantage of her,” Elsa explained, crossing her arms over her chest. “He’s fifteen years older than her. And they’d already broken up when she was 21, so who knows how old she was when they started…”

Anna bit her lip, worrying this was getting a little personal. Hans was only two years older than her, so. Different story, right?

Eh. Maybe not according to Elsa.

She needed to change the subject and impulsively blurted out, “I wanna get blackout. Right now.”

Elsa shook her head again. “Anna…”

“Yeah! I mean it! You too, right? You’ll do it with me? Let’s blackout on this Cristal. Yeah?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

“Oh, come on. Ms. Boring! I didn’t ask for your judgmental-as-shit opinion. Do you wanna blackout or do you wanna blackout?”

“Uh—neither?”

Anna pouted. “Boo. Boring.” She looked to Hans for more support, but he’d turned his attention back to Agnarr and the steering wheel.

“I’ll drink with you, but I don’t want to blackout. I wanna remember you turning 15.”

Anna chewed on her bottom lip. “Oh… yeah. Well, I guess I do too. Since it’s so great and all.”

“I’m not boring,” Elsa smirked.

“Prove it.”

Elsa grabbed the bottle of champagne and twisted the cap a little hesitantly but still enthusiastically. It made a loud popping sound and a little bit of the liquid spilled from the top, but both Anna and Elsa cheered when the champagne was deemed officially free.

Elsa poured them both tall glasses, and then she poured three more, remembering there were other people on this Duffy Boat and not just the two sisters.

All five raised their glasses.

To Anna. Who was now officially fifteen. Old enough to legally drink Cristal on a Duffy Boat, right? Totally.

And then Agnarr perked up, suddenly remembering his eldest daughter was also on this boat. “So, Elsa… can you tell me again why you chose Pomona over Harvard?” The way he said both school names made it more than clear how he felt about Elsa’s decision. Pomona sounded like he smelled the sweet stench of vomit infested garbage. In contrast, Harvard sounded like a choir of angels sang at the gates of heaven.

“I needed a change of pace.”

Agnarr laughed. A literally massive guffaw. “Harvard could’ve been a change of pace.”

“I don’t really—”

“But, at the end of the day, fine, you’re majoring in what—finance? Which means that your classes at this bullshit liberal arts doohickey will be miniscule. And you’ll get more time with the professors, get better letters of rec, and then end up at the Stanford GSB like your old man. That’ll really seal that fucking deal, you know? You’ll be in tip-top shape to take over The Company. Harvard or not.”

“I’m not gonna major in finance, dad.”

“Oh? So what’s the plan, then?”

“I don’t know. I like Anthropology, or maybe something like PoliSci?”

“Politics? Really?”

“Yeah,” Elsa said, her jaw clenched. “I’d love to clean up some of the damage you’ve done to this country.”

A tense silence filled the air. Elsa crossed her arms over her chest and took a nice long sip of champagne.

Until Iduna piped up, “Well, if you want my opinion—”

“I don—" Elsa started.

“—a pretty young thing like you can’t work around Bill right now.”

Agnarr guffawed again. Profoundly. He raised his glass and cheered, “Oh ho ho!” Like he won some kind of stupid battle he wasn’t even in.

Anna was utterly lost. She’d already downed one whole glass of Cristal and poured herself an entire new one without anybody noticing. Hah. Classic.

She didn’t really want to admit she was, like, this stupid or politically unaware or whatever but she also wanted to feel like part of the conversation, so she said, “Wait, what? Has something happened?”

Hans gave Anna the benefit of the doubt. “Nah, but he’s known for being a pussy hound.”

“Okay! Enough! That’s not why I said I wanted to major in PoliSci. We don’t need to get into—"

“No, no, no. This is important, Elsa. You better watch out,” Agnarr said, ignoring her plea entirely. “Listen, I don’t know how a man like Bill gets it up for a woman like Hillary. She looks like such a dyke. Not that I respect the bastard that much, but he could have any broad he wants. Any broad like you.”

“No—” Elsa raised her voice, but Iduna chuckled.

“Since she’s got my cheekbones!”

Elsa’s entire face had turned a cherry red. She was mad. Fuming, really. “—you can’t say that.”

“I can say whatever the hell I want.”

“You can’t say that,” she repeated.

“Why not? You think you’re some holier-than-thou judge of character?”

Elsa’s jaw was still insatiably clenched. “I want to go home.”

“Els?” Anna reached out her hand to touch Elsa’s shoulder in a way she hoped brought at least a marginal amount of comfort.

“Seriously,” Elsa begged, her eyes glistening with what looked like fresh tears. “Can we turn this boat around? Please?”

A lump formed in Anna’s throat and she swallowed it down. She didn’t want today to end like this, so she tried to redirect. “Um… but—we’re having fun, aren’t we? You… how about we drink more champagne?”

Anna knew Elsa was mad. She knew that their parents had upset her beyond belief, but this was the only time she’d spent with all of them in the same place in… literally forever. She didn’t want it to end prematurely. No matter how mad Elsa was. Besides, Anna had been there, too. She’d been on the receiving end of comments like that countless times.

It stung, sure. But it wasn’t unexpected. That was just what happened when you spent time with Agnarr and Iduna. They were like parasites.

But the kind of parasite Anna still yearned to have in her life… if that made any sense at all?

Thankfully Elsa seemed to snap out of it a bit and turned back to Anna. “I’m sorry, yeah. You’re right. I…” She added in a whisper, “I shouldn’t let them get to me.”

“Yeah—no. Never!” Anna beamed. Crisis averted. “Drink more!”

Elsa took one big gulp of the champagne. “Maybe now’s as good a time as any. Um… I have something for you.”

“Oooh for me?!” Anna squealed when Elsa pulled out an envelope from her back pocket.

“Open it.”

It was the cutest handmade card ever. What Anna recognized instantly as something they would exchange as kids. Classic white printer paper, cut out into the shape of an A. And inside was the sweetest note of all time. Not long. Never long. Elsa wasn’t the most feelings-y. Or not so much that she wasn’t feelings-y, but she didn’t really have a knack for expressing all of the feelings that brewed deep inside her soul.

Inside this note of absolutely wonderfully sweet words was the fact that Elsa had decided to get her the most fun gift of all time—a night at the local roller rink. A disco roller rink night, too, which sounded five hundred million times more fun than any old roller rink night.

So, Anna squealed again. “Oh my God! Elsa! This sounds so, so, so fun! I’m so excited I can’t wait I’m, like, literally the most excited ever for real I’m, like, oh snap I’m rambling but that just means you know how excited I am!”

“I thought you’d like it.”

“Like it? I love it!”

“You can choose whenever you want to go. I can find a way to get here.”

“Okay! I can’t wait!”

Anna had always considered herself forever an experience over a material present person. And an experience present from Elsa of all people only made it all the more special. Quality time with her sister. Shit, she was so excited.

Honestly, ‘so excited’ hardly began to cover it. Anna was ecstatic. Absolutely ecstatic.

It felt almost like… everything was going perfectly. Kristoff’s music played in the background. Hans and her dad had started laughing and carrying on what seemed like meaningful conversation… Iduna was smiling to herself as she usually did on a Good Day. And here Elsa and Anna were. Together. For the first time in forever.

“I’m so happy!” Anna yelled this loud enough that everybody snapped to attention, expecting a speech or something of the like. “This has to be the best birthday I’ve ever had in my whole life. I… thank you for not forgetting. I know—that’s happened before, but—"

Iduna clicked her tongue. “What are you talking about? We’ve never forgotten your birthday. We’re your parents.”

…what?

Was Anna wrong? Had she made it up? She thought she remembered several birthdays in a row her parents had forgotten… since… probably since Elsa had been shipped off to boarding school. It happened at least every other year.

But.

Her mother seemed to think differently. And Anna knew she could be a bit dramatic sometimes.

So…

Maybe that was all a load of BS and Anna was actually absolutely bonkers.

Shit.

“Anna, dear, your mother’s right. We’d never forget your birthday,” Agnarr explained.

Okay, yeah. All right. So then she was literally bonkers. Batshit crazy. Living in some kind of crazy dream world?

“Okay,” was all Anna said, in a tiny voice. She didn’t know what to think.

Except that maybe she really was crazy after all.

But she tried to push that aside. Something to unpack a bit more later.

She needed to enjoy this moment.

And due to this decision, from that point on, the Duffy boat ride went smoothly. They drank their champagne. They finished a few bottles. More than any of them would care to admit, especially because Agnarr and Iduna served the alcohol to minors and whatever. But regardless, they had a great time. In the end.

Sure, Elsa refused to speak to their parents, but thankfully she was never put on the spot again so that really didn’t put a damper on anything.

Hans kept Agnarr company, Iduna kept to herself, and Anna and Elsa spent the entire time talking each other’s ear off about literally everything.

Anna made sure to include all of the dirty details of her own life. Her chest puffed out when she talked about Hans and everything they’d done to celebrate their not-relationship that Anna still continued to make Elsa believe was a real relationship.

But eventually, it came to an end.

The end of an era. The end of this somewhat happy family dynamic Anna wanted to have 100% of the time.

Agnarr and Iduna hugged the girls goodbye. They were getting dinner with some friends and had to dash.

Which left Elsa, Anna, and Hans to fend for themselves.

Anna was a little bit disappointed that her parents had left them alone, but after what she considered such a great afternoon, she didn’t want to dwell on it.

Focus on the positives, Anna! Keep those in mind!

So, she turned to Hans. The orchestrator. The one who made it all happen.

“Oooh, Hans!” Anna jumped up to give him a peck on the lips. “That was awesomesauce! Like, hands down the best birthday—I totally, totally loved it, thank you!”

“Hold that thought, babe,” he smiled, snaking one hand around her waist and using the other to cup her chin. “I’ve still got one more thing planned.”

“Really, really? You do?”

“To the beach house!”

Anna giggled. She loved him. She now officially loved her birthday. She couldn’t wait.

[sickness-and-stealth]

its crazy to me that some people's schools are small enough that like,,, people know most of the people in their grade?? like my school has between 2,300-2,600 students now (the number grows every year, hasn't been counted since 2019), my grade has at least 550 students in it. I know basically none of them, like i know or am acquainted with maybe 90 people. that is so few. and there are some schools where people know each other well enough that they can like,,, actually campaign for student government positions or for prom royalty or people can actually accurately vote for the "most likely to" section of the yearbook. I have never known who the homecoming aristocrats were, never voted because i never knew any of the nominees. I've only know two people who ran for student government in my grade. I'm lucky if i know more than one person in any class I'm in. we have four lunch periods and i'm lucky if i get one with more than one of my friends.

and it's not like I don't talk to people, i make it a point to make a few friends every time I have a class, but it's just insane how some people know every single person in their grade like the back of their hands, all of them have been friends since elementary school and I only went to elementary school with two people in my entire school. and im not like complaining or anything, it's just something thats always been interesting to me. because i have a friend who goes to a school that has 300 people in it. k-12 and there's 300 people. and they all know each other, the seniors help the teachers with the elementary schoolers, the middle schoolers are still wreakin havoc with the freshman, it's so crazy. she told me there's like 11 people per class, and there's a whole bunch of extra classrooms. our school was so crowded even before the pandemic that we had teachers who had carts they would wheel around to a different class every period. we had portables built outside and there still wasn't enough room for every teacher to have a classroom. some classes had to start using the auditorium everyday.

i think there are some plus sides, though, to having such a huge school. i run the morning announcements, but no one knows because i'm 1 in 2,500. im in the band, i get solos, i'm first chair, first part in marching, concert and jazz, but unless you're my friend or in the band with me, you wouldn't know. you'd hear me play, form your opinion and then never thing about me again, awesome! i'm in the drama club, played monsieur d'arque in beauty and the beast, was a last minute (and i mean last minute, i read blind opening night and had memorized the script by the next night) understudy for one of the biggest parts in the fall play. but they just saw me perform, formed their opinion, never thought about who played that character, who sang that song. and that's how i like it, when i perform i want them to think about the performance, not the performer, personally. and that's not somethin you can really get with a small school, everyone knows you, knows what you're up to. it's just so hard for me to comprehend being in a school with so few people. being able to walk in the halls without getting pushed, bumped into, rammed into the lockers and bruised. i've gotten bruises from that before, my director thought i was being picked on but there's literally no room in any of the hallways, so shit like that just happens.

and while i dont love my school, i don't think i'd function well in a smaller one, this one's just so exciting! the cops are called after football games because of drunken teen brawls, i was almost sprayed with pepper spray once in the halls, there's always a weed smell, we never went a week without a fight, i got hit on in the lunch line (which is a funny story, because the guy's friend told me and was like "hey homie, im not sure if u a boy or a girl, but my guy wants to know if you got snap?" very entertaining and affirming, appreciate it guy from the lunch line). so much shit happens all the time it's so exciting and i'd miss that if i went to a smaller school. we wouldnt have full bleachers when we play at pep rallies, or a full house on opening night of the musical. i wouldn't get to broadcast my voice to 2,500 people every morning, pleasing some and annoying others. i wouldn't have gotten close to my teachers, wouldnt have been offered amazing field trip opportunities, wouldnt be going to japan next year! i have a love/hate relationship with my big school. good thing i only got one more year.

[maryabmurphy]

Blog Post #1

I feel like it's extremely important to start off this post by saying I never, ever wanted to watch Euphoria, I was never interested in it and even after watching it, I don't get what the big to-do about it is. Nor was I interested in mid-90s. I had heard of KIDS, but the raunchiness of the film turned me off of it. As I'm a huge fan of 80's pop-culture, I've seen The Breakfast Club a whole bunch of times; it's not my favorite 80s movie, but it's definitely up there.

One character that I always found myself relating to was Allison Reynolds from The Breakfast Club. I know it sounds really, really cliche but I always found it very hard to fit into places. I know she's considered the "basketcase" but I'd like to think I've got it together somewhat. I also have some nerdy tendencies, I guess, so I could also guess I could relate to Brian Johnson somewhat. It's easy for me to notice small details that other people might not always notice. For example, Brian is able to keep track of how many detentions Bender's racked up and how many fire exits there are. I tend to also notice or remember dumb, small things like that. For example, all throughout middle school and high school I was able to remember all of my classmates even if I just saw their face.

📷

In Euphoria, none of the characters, I felt, had redeeming qualities. There was always something going on that somehow made them absolutely insufferable. One character I guess that I could relate to somewhat was Jules Vaughn. Ever since middle school, my gender was something I've been questioning. I obviously can't talk to my parents about it because they are both conservative and Trump supporters. It's not something I talk about really because in today's political climate, it's not something you really want to announce to the world. I came to the realization that I was non-binary and like it a whole lot when people refer to me using masculine compliments. I guess I can also relate to Rue in some way in the sense that I have struggled with crippling anxiety literally my entire life. I didn’t start taking medication for it until I was in high school, though, because stuff like that has always been harder to detect in girls. My entire life I’d always been called weird or just shy, it wasn’t until I hit puberty that my mom thought there was actually something actually going on in my brain chemistry. The medications honestly don’t do much but I’m still here so that’s something.

📷

One very blatant theme throughout literally all of the pieces of media was the dangers of drug abuse. Most notably in Euphoria, when literally the main character ends up going to rehab after overdosing on oxycodone. During my time in high school, I witnessed first-hand how this was an increasing danger. Every prom or dance I went to I had to use a breathalyzer and was pat down while searching for a flask or any alcohol of some kind. I’ve mentioned that I’ve never been to a regular high school party and therefore I don’t know about the ins and outs of the drug culture of America’s youth. Literally almost all of the characters showed some apparent addiction (it was honestly a bit ludicrous, honestly). I also see a lot of people online who smoke weed which I guess is a lot less intense than what the characters in KIDS and Euphoria were into. For example, in KIDS, when Telly and Casper went to Paul’s apartment, Casper inhaled nitrous oxide out of balloons but Telly found it to be too dangerous. In The Breakfast Club, the only drug seen on screen was weed. Maybe because it was the eighties, but I highly doubt Bryan Hughes would be able to get away with anything else. Another theme that was apparent among all of the characters was loss. In Euphoria, Rue’s dad died of cancer. Jules’s parents are divorced so her mother is not in her life and in The Breakfast Club, Claire Standish’s parents are on the brink of divorce. Fortunately this is not something that every young person has to go through and when it does, it can wreak havoc on a growing kid's life. (post continued)

[damienhaasbaybee]

Figured it out 😂 for the let's get personal, can I request that you do them all?

I DID IT BAYBEEEEEEE.

* 1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

I’ll Be There For You and Bad Medicine by Bon Jovi, In My Head by Ariana Grande, I Believe by Jonas Brothers, Air Force Ones by Nelly, and Chasing Pavements by Adele

* 2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Harry Styles or Damien Haas so they can fall in love with me.

* 3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“me that it was a sometimes temporary paralysis that causes damage”

* 4: What do you think about most? the fact that I have nothing to really work towards

* 5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“I’m tireddd”

* 6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

without most of the time

* 7: What’s your strangest talent?

number and address recall 🙄 its embarrassing sometimes lol

* 8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls go to college to get more knowledge boys go to jupiter to get more stupider

* 9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

fuck no lol

* 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

um... today.. in the car

* 11: Do you have any strange phobias?

raw chicken.

* 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

a piece of ice so i could pierce my nose.

* 13: What’s your religion?

christian

* 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

um... if its for pleasure... swimming.

* 15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind lol

* 16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

of all time... linkin park or one direction

* 17: What was the last lie you told?

that I’m fine lol

* 18: Do you believe in karma?

v much so

* 19: What does your URL mean?

um... i am damien haas’ baybee and he is also my baybee

* 20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

weakness, helping people until I die strength, i am honest

* 21: Who is your celebrity crush ?

james marsden, david dobrik, zac efron, miles teller, damien haas...

* 22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

no

* 23: How do you vent your anger?

i sing real fucking loud

* 24: Do you have a collection of anything?

one direction memorabilia lol

* 25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

either works with me tbh

* 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

yes.

* 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

sound I hate: hearing others talk on the phone, sound I love: rubbing clean hands on a clean table

* 28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if I’m just crazy and none of this is real

* 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes and yes. anything is possible.

* 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

my comforter both times lol

* 31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

a clean house lol

* 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

uhhhh Louisville

* 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

west coast because i have never been

* 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Harry Styles

* 35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

to leave the earth better than I found it

* 36: Define Art.

art is everything and nothing that a person wants it to be

* 37: Do you believe in luck?

I do. circumstances create luck.

* 38: What’s the weather like right now?

pretty clear

* 39: What time is it?

10:08pm

* 40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes and yes! I won’t say what it was but it hit ME.

* 41: What was the last book you read?

I tried reading Girl Wash Your Face but couldn’t get into it.

* 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Yes

* 43: Do you have any nicknames?

yes I do... you can call me queen tho.

* 44: What was the last film you saw?

Legally Blonde

* 45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

several ankles sprained severely on each side.

* 46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

no

* 47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

yes. damien haas.

* 48: What’s your sexual orientation?

bisexual, demisexual, pansexual????

* 49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

yes. I was pregnant.

* 50: Do you believe in magic?

no.

* 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

yes, unfortunately.

* 52: What is your astrological sign?

cancer

* 53: Do you save money or spend it?

both!

* 54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

a carwash for my dads truck

* 55: Love or lust?

both

* 56: In a relationship?

somewhat

* 57: How many relationships have you had?

two

* 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

no

* 59: Where were you yesterday?

home

* 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

yes, my water bottle

* 61: Are you wearing socks right now?

no, never

* 62: What’s your favourite animal?

polar bear

* 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

my hospitality (including dis mouf)

* 64: Where is your best friend?

idk, at home?

* 65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

oooooo bisquett, thebasketcase101, persistence-ofmemories, creativegoof, and zanesgirlfriend

* 66: What is your heritage?

I am part native american and european as far as i know. i want to do a 23andme so I can find out. My skin tans realllllly dark even with tons fo sunscreen on so that makes me think I have more Native American than I thought.

* 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

I was definitely watching New Girl

* 68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

idk... Jones?

* 69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

biiiiitch of course I have.

* 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Yes. I may suck but I am loyal as hell and I’ll do anything for my friends.

* 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

save the dog, fuck that job.

* 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) yes b) spend it with family and write a book c) fuck yes. i am terrified of death all the time.

* 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

trust. love is nothing without being able to trust.

* 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

It’s A Great Day to Be Alive by Travis Tritt

* 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

1389.. not in that order.

* 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

honesty and communication.

* 77: How can I win your heart?

buy me food and show me that I can trust you with my heart. I sturggle to trust people. I also NEED to be called pet names.

* 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Yes.

* 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Quitting my toxic ass job.

* 80: What size shoes do you wear?

9.5

* 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

She did her best, even when odds were against her.

* 82: What is your favourite word?

I dont have a favorite but my least favorite is “creamy”.

* 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Love.

* 84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“ooooo bitch”

* 85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Always You, Louis Tomlinson

* 86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

darkkk red and black

* 87: What is your current desktop picture?

bitch I aint been on there in so long, I have no clue.

* 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Donald Trump

* 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

depends on who is asking, if its my family... asking my sexuality.

* 90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Fucking scream and run.

* 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Mind reading.

* 92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Seeing my dads face when I walked across the stage at graduation or him telling me how I looked in my junior prom dress.

* 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Watching my dad die.

* 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Harry Styles.

* 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

The beach, pronto.

* 96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not anymore

* 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

No

* 98: Ever been on a plane?

Yes. I loved it.

* 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Love others like you would like to be loved and see where that gets you.

[smartguyreviewed]

1x6 - Baby It’s You and You and You

Original air date: April 30, 1997

Five episodes in and it’s already Prom™, AKA the most important event in a teenager’s life, right next to that huge rager that the richest kid in school throws post-graduation. Yvette and her episode-appointed friend are discussing possible themes. The blasian girl suggests something eco-related. TJ suggests Star Wars. Yvette has to remind TJ that Piedmont has no money for an IT department or AP classes, so there is no way in hell they can afford anything that doesn’t come from Party City.

Because the Prom™ is the thing, Marcus and Mo are also discussing it and how they have to find dates. Well, Marcus is. Mo has a date in his new squeeze Shirley, played by local vampire Bianca Lawson. She will show up again but will be named Tracy. Jesus be a continuity! 

Marcus is in disbelief that Shirley would be into Mo, as if Mo is hideous or something. She defends her temporary man and says that he is a sensitive soul. Mo then proceeds to plagiarize “My Girl” by the Temptations but replaced “girl” with “Shirl.” Either sis was raised in the wild or she is the adoptive child of racist white parents because there’s no way she didn’t catch that. Although I do love that she told Mo it’s okay for him to cry in front of her. Together, we can all eradicate toxic masculinity! 

After the credits, we see Marcus at the Henderson crib, elated about snagging a date with Mariah and HOLY SHIT, continuity! I spoke too soon. Mariah was the girl Mo and Marcus were fighting over in the pilot episode. She even has the same name and is played by the same actress. Wow. Usually, the only girl who gets mentioned repeatedly is “the wonderous Shaundra.” We never see her. She’s like the Heather Sinclair of the show and it’s obvious that she’s Marcus’s jump off. 

Marcus goes on about how the Prom™ is so important and TJ, who was just offering expensive ideas about his ideal theme, is now dismissing the Prom™ as nothing but a room full of hormonal cases dancing to K-Ci & JoJo. He then says what would later be considered a #mood. Instead of socializing with other people, he’d rather watch Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. Marcus cracks a joke about how you never see black people on those shows and Floyd chimes in saying “we don’t mind lowering them down, though!” And they pound on it! If this were on television today, a bunch of white people would write letters and complain. I love this show.

Yvette is able to see through TJ’s facade. She knows he actually wants to go and labels his feelings denial because he’s devaluing the dance since he can’t go with anyone his own age. Marcus is against TJ going at all because he doesn’t want to babysit. I get it. I’d hate babysitting my little brother also, especially if he’s somewhere watching me dry hump girls.

The next scene, Floyd is discussing a possible roof job with a reverend. It just so happens that during their little chit chat, the Prom™ came up and Floyd let on about how TJ really wants to go but needs a same age date. How convenient that the rev has a daughter named Lily who would love to go to a dance! Gilligan cut to Floyd telling TJ that he has a date for him. Marcus barges into the room also informs TJ that he has a date. I hate that nobody even bothered to ask him first. He even lampshades this and says that Floyd’s action was pushy. Marcus clearly wants TJ to go with Mariah’s little sister because then he would be preoccupied enough for him to try to finger Mariah somewhere without TJ hovering around. He even calls Floyd’s pick a loser. Marcus is hilarious.

TJ actually does something selfless here! He overheard that Floyd sold a lot of slate to that church guy and now he’s getting pizzaid! TJ goes along with all of this because he wants to make everyone happy, exhbiting people pleaser traits. Every now and then, TJ just turns into this, even though he’s a master manipulator. However, TJ’s choice to please everyone goes south because now Yvette has a girl for him. He just went from wanting to veg out at home to now having three dates. To remedy the problem, they bring in Mo and you already know this plan is going to unravel as fast as it was conceived. Mo is wearing a black beret with his otherwise normal 90s garb, laying out the schematics for TJ to have all three women be his date. 

Cut to the night of the dance. Marcus and TJ are mad jittery for obvious reasons. We get a cute little shot of TJ in his three piece suit and Floyd is foaming at the mouth to find his camera but Marcus is not having it. 

Just as they’re about to leave, Floyd says that the rev is coming to the house. Not how they planned but per Marcus, they’re now picking up extra time. However, because Marcus seems to be cursed whenever he speaks positively about anything, Mariah shows up with her little sister. He slams the door in her face.

Now TJ and Marcus are panicking. Marcus opens up the door and lies that his fly was unzipped. They figure out a way to get Mariah’s little sister away before Lily and the rev show up. Then the doorbell rings and guess who? It’s none other than little Penny Proud. 

Of course, like other love interests in this show, Lily went into the witness protection program and came back in season 2 as a hood tomboy named Brandy. Seriously, you could write conspiracy theories for these characters because the writers are clearly too lazy to rewatch episodes. 

The doorbell rings again, only this time it’s Mo, dressed casually and thinking he’s about to shoot the shit with Marcus. Marcus asks why he isn’t at the dance and Mo responds, “That was tonight?” I mean, we all have that one friend! This was particularly funny because he only masterminded the plan yet forgot what night it was. He leaves and says he needs to contact Tuxedo Hut because they have a drive through. Mo is fucking hilarious!

Last but not least, Yvette, in a cheongsam-style dress that I love but is totally cultural appropriation shows up with her pick for TJ’s date and--fucking Christ, Naya Rivera shows up in a future episode as well but as this girl named Kelly that TJ spills a drink on. Here she is with a different name. UGH. I don’t know why I’m even complaining anymore.

Eventually, with one girl being held hostage in a treehouse, another in TJ’s room looking at a computer she doesn’t know a thing about, they eventually come downstairs and complain. Now they’re all in the kitchen with their arms folded looking at TJ. His response? “I overbooked.” I didn’t realize how funny this episode was.

Floyd takes TJ away to explain a very valuable lesson about setting boundaries and encourages him to say no without worrying that he’s disappointing anyone. I am still learning this lesson as an adult, so go Smart Guy for illustrating this so well. 

TJ goes to the dance with all three girls and manages to dance with all of them. Pretty much everyone got what they wanted. Aww, underage polygamy is so cute!

Stuff I noticed:

- Yvette and her bestie are dressed alike.

[laceymorganwrites]

Here is 2nd prompt: 1 to 9, 11 to 14, 16, 17, 21 to 24, 28 to 37, 39, 43 to 45, 52, 55, 56(let me guess MGK?), 64, 67, 69, 70, 72, 73, 75 to 81, 83 to 87, 90 to 92, 94, 98, 106 to 123, 125 to 127, 134, 138, 139, 143 to 151, 154 and 155 (cut it in two/three part we gonna have an headache if not) -Sarah

I´m gonna put a cut here lol this is gonna be a long post 

1. Full name

I´m uncomfortable answering that one. My first irl name is Hope though

2. Age

18

3. 3 fears

spiders, lonliness, death

4. 3 things I love

my friends, my cats, writing

5. 4 turn ons

subs, lip biting, intense eye contant, praise

6. 4 turn offs

degrading, forcing control, belittling me, just being disgusting

7. my best friend

met him in tenth grade, best thing that ever happened to me. platonic soulmate, always there for me. Love him with all my heart

8. sexual orientation

lesbian, on the aro spectrum

9. my best first date

never had any

11. What do I miss?

Being able to get a good night´s sleep

12. What time were I born?

Around 4am

13. favorite color?

since black doesn´t count yellow, dark red, dark purple

14. Do I have a crush?

on irls no. On fictional men yes

16. favorite place?

Dublin (especially the pubs)

17. favorite food?

french toast, homemade burgers, pizza

21. Shoe size

38 in Germany (idk the size system of other countries)

22. Eye color

Dark blue, with a bit of green in the middle. My eyes look like the ocean, so when I say dark blue, I mean really dark.

23. hair color

Natural dirty blonde, but currently washed out dyed purple

24. favorite style of clothing?

grunge with elements of punk

28. favorite movie?

Lord of the rings

29. favorite song?

I can´t choose just one, but the one that really means a lot to me is You´ll Be Fine by Palaye Royale

30. Favorite band?

Used to be Creeper, but is currently Palaye Royale

31. How I feel right now?

Tired and in pain (just started my period)

32. Someone I love

My best friend

33. my current relationship status

single irl, but dating lesbian anon on here

34. my relationship with my parents

good I guess, though we don´t do a lot together

35. favorite holiday

Halloween and Pride

36. Tattoos and piercings I have

none

37. Tattoos and piercings I want

none since I have a low pain tolerance (it´s rlly nonexistent)

39. Do I and my last ex hate each other?

Well, I´m over it but he´s petty and spreading rumors about me so....

43. How long does it take for me to get ready in the morning?

An hour. I take a long time to fully wake up, so I do things very slow. 

44. have you shaved your legs in the past three days?

nope. I don´t shave, my mom thinks it´s disgusting but I don´t care. My body, my rules

45. Where am I right now?

In my bed, as always

52. when was the last time I hugged someone?

A few days ago

55. what is something I disliked about today?

starting my period

56. If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Nikki Sixx.

64. Do I believe in magic?

Not really, but I´m open to anything

67. What was the last book you´ve read?

I´m currently reading ´The Dirt´

69. Do I have any nicknames?

Lace, Ace, Hopi

70. what was the worst injury I ever had?

my self inflicted one  I guess

72. can I touch my nose with a tongue?

sadly no

73. Is there anything pink 10 feets from me?

yup, my pillow

75. what was I doing last night at 12 AM?

listening to Yagami Yato´s audios

76. What do I think Satan´s last name is?

Mine since I´ll marry her when I arrive in hell

77. What´s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Na Na Na by MCR

78. How can you win my heart?

Make me laugh

79. What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

Fucking finally

80. What is my favorite word?

Cunt

81. my top 5 blogs on tumblr

@varia-venus @one-piece-dumpster-fire @miyaniacs @aomineavenue @hoe-imaginess

83. Do I have any relatives in jail?

Not that I know

84. I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

Teleportation

85. What would be a question I´d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Why are you like this?

86. What is my current desktop picture?

It´s an edited Madara one my friend made me

87. had sex?

Voluntarily no

90. failed a class?

Luckily no

91. kissed a boy?

yup, 2 times and both times it was disgusting af

92. kissed a girl?

no, but she kissed me and that was when I realized I was gay. She broke my heart too.

94. Had a job?

no, but hopefully soon

98. played on a sports team?

no, I can´t play sports

106. been to a wedding?

only when I was little, so I don´t remember anything

107. Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

that´s nothing to me. I spend my whole day on here. That´s why I spam with those prompt thingies, cause I get bored and am always active

108. Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

I´m a fucking hermit, of course I have

109. been outside my home country?

yes, mutliple times

110. gotten my heart broken?

yup and it hurt like a bitch

111. been to a professional sports game?

Me and my class went to a pro ice hockey game and it was amazing

112. broken a bone?

not yet fortunately

113. cut myself?

yup and not proud of it

114. been to prom?

no, got cancelled because of COVID

115. been in an airplane?

yes, but I´m afraid of flying and heights

116. fly by helicopter?

no

117. what concerts have I been to?

Katy Perry, Halestorm (2 times), The Pretty Reckless, All Time Low, Halsey, Waterparks, Palaye Royale, Kyle Gass Band, Hey Violet, David Guetta, Bring me the horizon, Macklemore (2 times), Rihanna, Panic! At the disco, Fall Out Boy, Twenty One Pilots (2 times), Amy Shark, Hayley Kiyoko

118. had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yes

119. learned another language?

yup. But I failed and can´t speak any of it. The only foreign language that stuck with me is English

120. wore make up?

yeah, a lot actually. I like experimenting with make up

121. lost my virginity before I was 18?

Not voluntarily

122. Had oral sex?

Not voluntarily

123. Dyed my hair?

A lot

125. Rode in am ambulance?

no

126. had a surgery?

only a minor one

127. met someone famous?

I met a German youtuber at the Halsey concert and I got VIP tickets for Palaye Royale, so I met all of them

134. What do I want for my birthday?

I don´t know. Probably some cosplay supplies

138. what was my favorite toy as a child?

I was a Playmobil kid

139. Favorite TV show?

Can´t choose. Will go with Haikyuu for now

143. Favorite pizza topping?

Ham and mushrooms

144. Am I afraid of the dark?

yes

145. Am I afraid of heights?

yes

146. Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

no, but I never done any of that

147. Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

all the time cause I keep comparing myself to others

148. what I´m really bad at

social interaction

149. what my greatest achievements are

graduating and making it into uni

150. the meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

can´t really remember to be honest. People have always been talking behind my back rather than saying it to my face

151. what I´d do if I won in a lottery?

move to Ireland, buy a house, give the rest to charity

154. something I fantasize about

anime men

[tsaritza-mika]

Just some thoughts I have about things

So recently, this picture came across my dash, and while I can always appreciate a good joke at my personal expense, it also got me thinking: Why even should this be a joke pointed at myself and others like me? Don’t get me wrong, I’m still laughing about it, even now, but it still got me thinking about the subject it pokes fun at, and my overactive brain decided to analyze things a bit.

Now since this is the internet and it’s customary to overshare, I recently figured out that I’ve been in a deeply depressive state for... I wanna say about the last 5-7 years or so. How did I figure this out? Well, as the picture says, I fell in love with a fictional character. Like yeah, love. I get these huge, dopey as shit smiles on my face when he crosses my mind, the joy in my brain gets turned to the max, and I’m unbelievably happy knowing that even if he is considered to be ‘just a drawing’, that he exists, and despite it being obviously scripted, he loves me with all his fictional heart and soul.

But anyway, back to the oversharing part of this, because what’s a good internet story without some trauma, right? A little over five years ago, I spent my 30th birthday getting drunk on the front porch of my parents house in Southern California, knowing that when I was done I was going to go back to their back house and continue my then two years, post-divorced status, and attempting to rebuild my life without someone at my side for the first time in roughly ten years. Before then, my joys in life came from just about anything artistic. I drew my favorite characters, I watched a ton of cartoons and anime because since I was four, I wanted nothing more than to be an animator. I also played video games and hung out with friends regularly.

Well, after the divorce, a lot of that went away. Now, I knew I was upset. I could point that out without issue, but the longer time went, the drive and creativity that had been with me my whole life didn’t seem to come back the same way it had. Sure, I’d still draw, still made some pictures I could be proud of, but rather than taking maybe a few hours to a day or so, maybe a single picture from inception to completion would take a few weeks. If it ever got completed at all, of course. Instead, I buried myself in my video games. I didn’t have to think or process anything I was personally feeling when I played them, because it was always reflective of the feelings of the games’ main character/chosen toon I played at the time.

Then, on a whim, a few months ago when America’s West Coast decided to burn, I decided to listen to my best friend and download a mobile dating game. I’d played dating games before, I’m no stranger to tropes and anything else that pops up in them. Hell, one of my favorite dating games is Monster Prom, and yes, my favorite is Damien because let’s face it, he’s deliciously destructive and handsome as fuck. But I digress, it wasn’t Damien that really made me feel this way. It was Julian.

I should probably say here too that I’ve been this way my whole life, you know, before I get too much further into this. My first fictional crush was, like many my age, Chiba Mamoru, better known to some as Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon. Even now I’ll still swoon at the right line and the right picture at the right time. Because I mean, let’s face it, he’s hot as fuck. Since then, there have been others: Heero Yui, Tamahome, Inuyasha, Sousuke Sagara, Kurz Weber, Kyo Sohma, to name only a few. And that’s just the anime side of things. However, none of these loves/crushes, have ever negatively impacted my ability to love someone real. I’ve had boyfriends, and even been married, and they’d never felt threatened or stated anything wrong with these feelings what-so-ever.

Yet there are still those out there who will roll their eyes at this and try to convince me that ‘you’re not in love’, or ‘it’s not real because he’s not real’, and whatever other bullshit they feel like saying at the time. But here’s my rebuttal to that: What makes my love for this fictional character any less valid than say, someone with a celebrity/musician crush? Chances are those people will never even manage to be in the same room as that celebrity, and even if they are, there’s never a guarantee they’d feel anything in particular for them anyway if they managed to get close. But, when they smile, when they do something admirable, when you learn something new about them, doesn’t that happiness feel the same? I was one of those people too, except my walls were plastered with every poster imaginable of Johnathan Taylor Thomas. Because it was the 90s bitches. I knew I’d never get anywhere near him or anything, but when he laughed, I smiled. When he was upset, I was upset for him.

My depression left me with essentially nothing but an empty shell for so long, and because I’d only ever heard of symptoms from more severe cases than my own, I mistakenly thought that maybe that part of my life was just over, and that it was something I had to get through and find something else to make me happy. But then I played a game, I ‘met’ Julian, I spent time with him, got to know him and how much of a dramatic disaster he is himself. Yes, he was written and coded to make someone like me happy, but because, like so many others before, pieces of him resonated so deeply inside me, I fell for him and all of his flaws.

He can drink too much, is very depressed and in need of some actual sleep, he’s altruistic to the point of masochism, he has a pain/BDSM kink, he’s practically if not literally addicted to coffee, he’s had trouble letting go of bitter feelings regarding his ex and how it ended, he has regrets about how he’s handled things in his life, he doesn’t believe he deserves to be happy when he’s made so many perceived mistakes. But... he’s also incredibly smart, loves a good dramatic entrance, making those around him feel special, performing in some fashion, he’s studied hard to become the best damn doctor he could be because he wanted to help people, he loves his sister dearly and wants her to be happy, among so many other things and quirks I can’t say it all.

This fictional man makes me so fucking happy, I have art ideas again for the first time in almost ten years. I want to save up and get a new tablet so I can contribute to the fandom he’s a part of with animatics and animations. I want to make so many pictures, I want to write more, I want to animate, and a part of me has even been considering the thought of looking into some kind of musical instrument for the first time since I was twelve and learning the saxophone. And above everything else, I can recognize the depression I was in, and can move forward from it. I can still love everything I used to and be happy with them again. So what if all of these things are coming from my mental and emotional love for a fictional man. It doesn’t make these feelings any less real, nor the happiness that’s come as a result of it.

And whenever I meet someone for real, I will love them with the same fire from when I loved, and still will love Julian, and they won’t even be able to tell the difference. Because love is love, in all it’s forms.

[purplesurveys]

1130

survey by nadine07

Where were you three hours ago? Was passed out on the living room couch and probably dreaming away, lmao.

Were you with anyone? Both my dogs were in the living room with me, if that counts.

Have you had anything alcoholic in the last 24 hours? Hmm, I’m trying to remember but I don’t think so. I went outside to eat, but I doubt they put any alcohol in my meal since I literally had a truffle-based pasta. No plans to drink this weekend, either.

Are you wearing shoes right now? Nope, I’m always barefoot around the house.

How long have you known your 1st phone contact? At least since the 6th grade cos I think that’s when she had transferred to my school.

Are they a relative? Nope, I went to school with her. We were seatmates for a while in sophomore year and that’s when I was able to see how talented she was at drawing and painting. She ended up transferring to UP as well after getting accepted to the fine arts program so we got to be collegemates as well, though I don’t really remember what university she initially got admitted to.

Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? Yeah, because I’m a dumb fuck when it comes to these things. I WILL SAY though that I’ll be so much kinder to myself should this ever happen, and no longer tolerate her bullshit and emotional/mental abuse under the guise of ~unconditional love. There’ll be a lot of shit she’ll have to pick up and fix, and I wouldn’t get back with her unless she acknowledges her mistakes and seek to correct them.

Would you ever go skinny dipping with the last person who commented you? That would be Leigh, and no. Idk if I’ve shared this or if this has ever come up on a survey but Andi actually once asked me if I’d like to be a part of a threesome with them and Leigh, and I just had to immediately decline because I view Leigh as a younger sister more than anything and I can’t bear to see her all naked loooool.

When was the last time you saw a movie in theaters? December 2019.

When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? I think the morning of New Year’s Eve. I was already starting my healing process by then and the holidays were getting me feeling kind of peaceful, so I sent her a few voice notes thanking her for the year that was but giving her a heads-up that I might not talk to her for a while, because I realized I was starting to get happier on the days I didn’t force conversation with her.

I honestly thought ‘a while’ would only take a couple of weeks, but I’ve since gotten used without her presence and it’s been 3 1/2 months since our final encounter; and I think it will stay this way now.

Has anyone called you beautiful today? No.

Are you still friends with the last person who broke your trust? That would be JM, and yeah. I find him ridiculous for lying to our faces about joining a fraternity in law school (frats are a big yuck where I live because of their toxic hazing and misogynist culture), but I mean I still sort of understand why he had to do it - obviously not for the above reason, but for the perks and support that usually come with joining frats. From now on I’ll always see him as someone who can smoothly lie to my face, though.

Does drama seem to follow you everywhere? No. I would hate that lol, that would just be too much to handle.

Do you feel like anyone is playing mind games with you right now? No.

How would you feel if your best friend hooked up with your ex? I think my literal first reaction would be to laugh out of sheer disbelief, and then proceed to call her stupid for cheating and for choosing to cheat with her. After that’s died down, I think I’d mostly feel disappointed and betrayed.

How long did your last relationship last? The stint lasted 4 years, but we were technically together for 6 years if we’re counting the whole on/off thing.

If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? No. That’s what I had thought and they left. I’ve stopped trusting my feelings about these things anymore, and will assume anyone is capable of leaving.

Does it make you uncomfortable to talk on the phone around people? I just don’t want to be loud enough that I’m almost screaming around other people, but I can’t always monitor that since I have to concentrate on what I’m hearing on the other line.

Would you rather be 10 years older or 10 years younger? Probably 10 years older so that I can see into my future.

Have you ever kissed someone the same night your met them? No.

Do you bite your fingernails? Occasionally. I pick at them more frequently.

Would you consider yourself very flexible? Nah. Like I said on a previous survey, I can’t even reach my toes either while standing up or stretching on the floor.

Do you embarrass easily? Yeah.

Have you ever tried to talk your way out of getting a ticket? Yup. It’s happened twice; one of the occasions I was able to handle by myself and the other time Gab had to step in to talk to the officer because he was adamant about the ticket and I had started crying.

Did it work? Yes, both times. I’ve only been issued a ticket once, from this annoying grumpy officer in Alabang.

Have you ever been banned from anywhere? Trying to remember if I have been, but I don’t think so.

Do you have a ringtone or do you leave your phone on vibrate? The important messaging apps are on vibrate. I’ve turned off notifications for some apps and I have just the silent banner notifications for others.

What was the last thing you drank from a mug? I’m drinking coffee from one right now.

Has your #1 ever seen you naked?

Does your #2 know your deepest secret?

Will your #3 repost this?

Does your #4 smoke?

Were you born in the 90's? Yes, but by the end of it so I never considered myself a 90s kid.

When was the last time you paid less than $1 for something? The parking fee in Feliz.

Have you loaned anything out to anyone recently? Nope.

Are any of your siblings married? None of us are.

Who was the last person to spend the night with you at your house? Gabie.

How many different picture ids do you have in your wallet? Just my driver’s license and TIN ID.

Do you have a hard time making decisions? Depends on the weight of the decision. The heavier it is, the more I seek out friends who can provide fresh perspectives.

Has anyone kissed you when you weren't expecting it? Idk, Gabie probably snuck in some surprise ones a few times. IBetween the two of us I was more likely to do so, though.

Did you like it? If she did then I probably did during that time.

Who was your date to senior prom? We have junior prom, not senior prom. I just bought my favorite cousin since I had no interest in boys and was still learning how to make guy friends at that point.

Does your dad smoke? No, he’s never tried.

Is your mom over 50? She is turning 50 this year, but not until September.

Do you want to get married? It would be nice to experience it.

Have kids? Yes.

Are there any movies coming out you wanna see? Not that I know of. There are movies I do want to see, but they’ve already come out, like Ammonite and I Care A Lot.

Do you ever feel like you're leading a double life? No.

Do you have any plans to get a new tattoo or piercing? Tattoo, yeah. I’m just super chill about said plan and am not really in a hurry about it. I’ve yet to think of a design and where on my body to place it.

Do you know anyone named Christine? I know several people named Christine but they go by a nickname, like Tin.

Do you know anyone who's biracial? Sure, I went to high school with a couple of girls who are both half-brown and half-white as they both have European dads. I believe one of them is part German while the other girl is part Swiss.

Do you know anyone who works at Walmart? I don’t think so. I know my aunts who live in the US will occasionally shop there though, hahaha.

Has the last person you rode in a car with seen you in your underwear? I mean yeah, as a baby and as a young kid (it was my mom).

Are black bras sexy? They can be, sure.

Spell your full name without 'C','I','R', or 'Y': Obn.

Open the nearest book, turn to page 11, and type the first sentence: I’m at a Starbucks rn and didn’t bring any books with me.

Are you currently listening to anything? There’s jazz music faintly playing at the moment.

Would you ever consider getting breast implants? Before I definitely used to, when people still liked to make fun of small boobs. Nowadays I don’t feel the need to anymore.

If you could spend 30 minutes with someone who's gone, who would you pick? I’d probably pick my great-grandpa over my grandpa. I never met the former; and if I only had 30 minutes with my grandpa (who I did grow up with) I think it would just fuck with me psychologically.

Are you on birth control? Nopes.

Do you know anyone who is bisexual? Lots.

Would you walk into Walmart naked for $10,000? Yes.

Does anyone call you babe? No.

Do you hate it when people try to play with your hair? If I’m not close enough to them I would feel bothered, yes.

Who would you tell, or who did you tell when you lost your virginity? I think I had just told Sofie then.

Were you in a relationship 6 months ago? Yeah but it was cracking and it was cracking fast. It’ll be hitting 6 months this March, actually.

Are you still with that person? No.

Are you the kind of person who has crazy mood swings? No. This happens to my mom and I hate it very much, so I try to watch my actions and not switch rapidly between different moods.

This is question 69...so have you ;)? Sure.

How long is it until your birthday? Around a month and a couple of weeks.