#and no one who watched the last of us can deny that bella put her whole damn fucking soul and grime into that role

[rahullkohli]

thinking about how bella won't get the industry recognition they deserves in the form of awards for her breathtaking performance as ellie because there are no categories for them to be submitted in

[xetlynn]

Twilight- Youngest Shadow: Chapter Six, Confirming Us

(Alice X Reader X Jasper)

[five] [six] [seven]

Bella stands by me, getting herself ready for what she’s about to do. It’s the end of the school day and I suck in a deep breath for her. I can not believe she’s actually going through with this.

She starts walking towards the Cullen’s. She makes eye contact with Edward and he immediately gets the message but Rosalie grabs his arm. Bella already disappeared in the trees that bordered the school property. Rosalie says something to him but Alice shakes her head and removes her hand, also speaking. I obviously can’t hear them from here.

Biting the dead skin off my bottom lip nervously I try my best not to cough. Of course I’m still sick, not as bad as yesterday but still up there. Just without the fever.

I watch Edward finally get away from his foster siblings and go to my sister. It feels like my breathing has been shortened. I have a feeling he won’t do anything to her but there’s always a thought in the back of my mind.

“Hey, you okay?” I turn and it was just Angela. “Hm?” I raise a brow. “Oh I was just asking if you’re okay. Since you were pretty sick yesterday.” She smiles, putting her hand on my back causing me to shutter. “I’m better, still sick.” I look away to cough. Her touch makes my chest squeeze and I don’t notice the two staring at me from across the lawn. Or at least I act like I don’t.

“Aw, I’m sorry.” She pouts moving her hand to my shoulder and I nervously laugh. “It’s okay, did you find your prom dress?” I change the subject, her eyes light up in response. “Yes I did. Did you? I wasn’t able to ask since you were so bad yesterday.” She takes her hand back and I felt like a corset was being taken off and I could actually breathe again. “Ah, that’s amazing. I don’t know if I’m going.” I shrug.

She takes my hand and that one feeling comes back. “You have to it will be so fun. And since we don’t have Bella coming we need at least one Swan sister to come.” She tries to convince me. That sentence throws me the wrong way though, I know she didn’t intend it to but I don’t know.

“We could even match colors. My dress is like light pink.”

“I mean if you’d like me to I will.” I tell her with a small smile. “Light pink is such a good choice.” Another voice rings to my right side and both of us jump from the person. I mentally curse once I see who it is. “Oh, um… thank you Alice.” Angela grins at the other girl as I glare at her.

“So, [Name] how’d you sleep last night?” She turns to me and my lips press together angrily. Angela seems confused.

“What an odd question to ask.” I say through my teeth.

“Really? I just wanted to make sure it was nice since Jasper and I left before you woke up.” She sweetly says, my eyes widen.

“I slept fine.” I roll my eyes.

“That’s good! Angela? That’s your name right? I’m going to steal [Name] here for a second.” She doesn’t even let the girl answer nor give me the chance to deny. Taking my arm and dragging me away. I look back at Angela apologetically.

She waves me goodbye, furrowing her eyebrows as she was just as confused as me.

We get into a car where I’m in the backseat, Jasper was in the driver seat. “What was that!?” I pull away from her, my face scrunched with anger.

“Shh.” She tells me and I grunt as I push myself backwards on the seat. “Is this a fucking AA or something? Here to tell each other secrets?” I cross my arms.

“Why are you so mad at us, darling?” Jasper turns to look at me.

“Why are you so obsessed with me?” I rebuttal.

“Well, you obviously know what we are is that your reason?” He ignores what I had just said. “No I’m just- I’m confused!” I exclaim.

“You’re both together, in a relationship. Immortal I might add that I am not. What do you want from me?”

Their gazes soften. “[Name], you’re our missing piece. You’re ours. You have been for years we only now found you, again” Alice tells, still smiling. I think back to my dream.

Their missing piece…

“You still aren’t answering me correctly. Give me an explanation, a good one that doesn’t sound like you’re crazy!” I exasperated.

“I’m some missing piece, whatever! But why me? You don’t know me!” I hold myself trying not to get emotional from how overwhelmed I feel.

“We know more than you think, love.” Jasper says, i glance over to him, motioning for him to keep talking.

“We’ve had this feeling for years, we knew you as humans, [Name]. Years and years ago. You’re the one who would get through our fingers. Your past lives have popped up. And they will continue to do so until you fall for us. You won’t remember until you-“ he cuts himself off, Alice’s eyes bored onto me. “You won’t remember.”

I sit there for a minute in complete silence.

Then I start laughing. “Okay I played into this for a little bit. I actually believed it, I believed my sister too! Is this some sort of prank or something?” I shake my head. “This is good, really. You had me. But knock it off.” I go to open the door but it won’t open.

“Hey, let me out.” I play with the handle and the two just sit there. “I said let me out.” I order, now using to hands.

“[Name],” Alice goes to touch me but I go up against the door. “Don’t touch me.” I smack her away from me and a shock goes through my arm. I gasp not only from how cold she is, even though I already know she is. But something actually shocked me. Not a normal metal shock but like a taser went through my arm.

“We’re telling the truth.” Jasper says lowly, I just scoff.

“Okay, sure and I’m a fucking werewolf. Do you know how crazy this sounds!?” I throw my hands into the air.

“Yes, yes we know.” Alice sadly replied.

“I want proof.” I simply say. “I want to see the speed shit or whatever.”

They look between each other, nodding.

“We can do that but we have to go to an excluded place. Do you trust us enough?” Alice asks me. I sit there for a moment.

“Sure.”

“We need a yes if we leave this parking lot.”

I roll my eyes, “yes.”

And in a quick notion we’re on the road, exhilarating passed the speed limits.

I grip onto the handle above me.

Then we come to a stop, we’re in the forest. “We gotta do some walking.” Jasper warns me, I just nod.

He finally unlocks the child lock he had put on and I get out. I leave my backpack inside the vehicle. Alice and Jasper stand next to me on either side. We start up on this hike trail. We walk in silence. None of us tried to start up a conversation.

“Watch your step.” Jasper warns me and even with that warning I somehow trip. Luckily I don’t fall. My face warms up in embarrassment. They don’t say anything, don’t even crack a smirk or anything. Sort of making me feel better about it.

Then Jasper starts going off trail and I stop in place. “What are you doing?”

“Excluded place, remember, Darling?” Jasper reminds me, I look around trying to think of a way to get out of this. “Right.” I whisper, realizing there isn’t going to be one. I buried my own grave here.

“I’ll be right behind you to make sure you don’t fall.” Alice tells me, trying to reassure me.

I don’t acknowledge what she said, just following Jasper.

It was long until we get to this small spot. “No one’s around.” Alice tells Jasper who nods shortly.

My nerves start rising, I play with the sleeves of my sweater.

“Okay do you have anything else to ask?” Jasper asks and I shake my head. “Just do the speed shit.” I tell trying not to sound panicked but that doesn’t work.

He snickers and Alice stands next to him. Then he’s gone and I feel a tap on my shoulder. When I turned he was gone again. I look straight and Alice was gone too. A tap on my back this time and they’re both behind me. I squint at them and then Jasper is gone again. Now hanging on a tree branch.

Alice grins.

He jumps down, it was a high branch so I gasp. Almost going to run to him but he stands with perfect posture.

“Do you believe it now?” Alice teases me, my mouth opens to speak but nothing comes out. “I… I um”

“Are you scared?” Jasper questions me, going back next to his lover.

“Would you be in my position?”

The two laugh. “Yeah, we would.” Alice sighs.

“Well, oddly enough I’m not. I want to know more.” I tell them.

And for the next few days that’s what we do. I learn more about them.

Barely passing by Bella but we both subconsciously knew that each other got our answers.

And with learning about them came.. loving them. Both of them. I never thought I’d be with two people- vampires?

I guess no one thinks they will be with a vampire.

I knew I’d be in a relationship no one would understand in my family. Like being with a woman most likely. But in this odd polyamory love affair I would’ve never guessed.

They were gentle with me. Like a doll.

“Jasper usually has trouble around humans. That’s why he kind of looks like he’s in pain. But with you. It’s like you’re one of us. We still have to treat you with fragile care. Nonetheless you’re made for us.” Alice grins, holding my hand as we walked together on that same trail. Jasper had to help Rosalie and Emmett with something so he couldn’t join us today.

“Do you think there’s something with my blood?” I look at her and she gives me a confused look. “What do you mean?”

“Well you guys drink blood. What’s so different about mine?”

She breaks out into a small laugh. “Nothings different it’s just how we are with you. It’s been like that in all of your lifetimes. It’s how we know it’s you. Well we normally know because you always look the same. Same first name too.” She explains, my mouth going into the form of an ‘o’.

“You’re cute.” She gently bumps into me.

And no matter how many times I ask them about my past lives, about how I acted they never answered.

Always saying “you’ll find out when you do.”

It was very frustrating.

“I can see into the future, visions. I can see what a persons up to at this very moment. The future can change though. It’s not always accurate.” Alice tells me and I raise an eyebrow.

“Did you know about Bella and your brother before they came about?” I tilt my head.

“Sort of. I didn’t want to pry.” She says. “Can you do anything special?” I turn to Jasper.

“I can manipulate your emotions. Sort of like an empathetic person. I feel your emotion instead of you.” He explains.

I tilt my head, wanting to know more.

“How come you didn’t do that to me when I was angry with you guys?”

“I didn’t want to have this relationship based off of me manipulating you. I wanted you to feel everything, think for yourself. Make your choice. You’re worth waiting a million years for.” He takes me hand like Alice is but takes it up and kisses it.

I smile to myself, glancing down at the ground.

“We want you to come over and meet everyone.” Alice suddenly says.

“Your sister will be there too.” She adds.

I blink a few times, my chest tightening. “Uh… are you sure?”

“Of course.” Jasper chimes in.

And I felt like throwing up.

The thought of meeting their family made my heart thump quicker than normal.

“Okay… I’ll do it if my sister is there.”

“Great, we will pick you up tomorrow.”

Today I brought my motorcycle myself this time. So I drove home myself. And getting there Jacob and Billy stood outside talking to my dad. Well Billy sat in the car as Jacob was going to get out. I’m guessing to take out the wheelchair.

Getting off my bike, I take my helmet off as I walked over to them. “Hey, squirt!” My dad shouts over to me and I wave.

“Hey guys!” I smile. Jacob comes over and pulls me into a hug. Billy was a bit standoffish but he smiles and greets me as well.

Jacob walks away and goes to set up the wheelchair, Billy gets himself up to sit in it.

That’s when Bella gets dropped off by Edward, Billy and him make eye contact and Billy seemed nervous.

Okay this chapter is a little shorter than normal. I had some things happen so I’ve been busy. But I’m hoping to have two chapters out on Sunday.

And a few requests done.

[panacrine]

Diaries of Resistance, part 1

I've kept a note open in my phone since October 2023 for every moment watching human suffering and scrolling past it wasn't enough. It's horrifying that as I scroll down the note now, I know exactly when I wrote it because every day brings a new atrocity.

I am sitting in a car of white people saying that they’re concerned about the polarization of “the conflict,” that people are shouting about Palestine on the path to the dining hall, and that they have the audacity to write “Free Palestine” on the whiteboards of the science building

You too would have stood by silently as the US bombed the hell out of Vietnam and Cambodia, dropped Agent Orange on the children, raped the women and said “the situation in Vietnam is too complex”

You continue to stand by silently as 6 million people are enslaved in Congo mining the cobalt running your tech start up

I feel like I should be doing more somehow. I am guilty that I didn’t say anything earlier when I was exposed to the history while at Columbia. Why didn’t I say something when I heard from a classmate who literally ran away from IDF soldiers shooting at her? Why didn’t I don the keffiyeh when it was offered to me?

Guilt does nothing for the past. I can only move forward now.

My grandma tells me about her brother who was shot and murdered by French soldiers while he was wandering in the fields because they thought he was a revolutionary fighter. They didn’t even bother to tell our family about their little misfire. Someone found his body in the ditches and ran back to tell us.

My grandma is the last one alive out of her siblings. There is no else left to mourn my great-uncle’s premature demise but her. Where is his monument, the tomb of the unknown Vietnamese man? Perhaps I’ll stumble into his ghost wandering the quiet rice fields of Long An.

Did you know that there are Facebook groups for Vietnamese people who used to be in the refugee camps? They share pictures of the food labels of the UN aid they received and pictures of the captains that steered the boats of desperate hungry people safely to shore. I read a poem about the instant noodles they used to eat. My dad remembers his time at the Thai refugee camp as a good time. “The Catholic priests put us all to work,” he says. “I don’t mind working.”

The UN gave out plastic food toys to the children of Gaza. To the starving children of Gaza. How can I describe violence when its verdict is death by apoptosis, one cell at a time?

I’ve cried every day for the past month. It’s because even the thought of it, the thought of the little boy clutching his beloved cat, the mother screaming for her daughter in the halls of that hospital, and the father straining to hear the voices of his children under the rubble, it hits my central wound. Israel is not just tearing limbs and families apart: it disfigures every aspect of Palestinian identity. It is a poison that mutates a child into a headless corpse, a doctor into a childless parent, and an olive tree into dust. It denies the Palestinian spirit the right to exist as it is and how it should. Watching these videos, it’s as if I’m torn apart too as I’m transported through time. I see my grandma, then 8 years old, leave her school as French soldiers surround it, never to return; I see Bella Hadid’s father kicked out of the home that his family had opened to the Jewish refugees who were now appropriating it. So I cry silently in my room, door closed, sounds of airstrikes and begging children threading through my AirPods. I cry until my eyes run dry, then I put my phone away and go back to my homework. I’ll be back tomorrow.

I have to remind myself that to cry is to feel the wound of humanity for myself. To cry is to open myself to the possibility of living other people’s deepest pain. To cry is to resist the mainstream’s tendency to turn people into numbers or human shields. To cry is to be aware and awake. To cry is to accept my place in the universe as just another human connected to other humans by nature of existing. 

[superhero--imagines]

Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here!

A/N: not superhero themed. I just read midnight sun and had this idea and I don’t feel like making another blog so.... hope you like twilight lol

There will be a part two, and just a reminder, I’m still looking for beta readers so DM if you’re interested!

* It probably starts with you reading midnight sun, you remember reading the books/watching the movies when you were younger.

* Man, you really forgot how bad this book was. The writing itself is good, but the plot...

* It’s like everything revolves around Bella, everything is created for her.

* You almost feel bad for the other characters

* Well, whatever, you’ll finish the rest of the book tomorrow and never think about that awful franchise again.

* When you wake up you feel an ache in your head. But you didn’t drink last night, maybe you’re dehydrated

* You shift, noting the smooth silk of the covers. Now you’re alarmed.

* You don’t have silk sheets

* You see a mirror in the corner of the room, and rush over

* The face that looks back at you is different then yours

* It’s the same in some ways, but different all the same

* The curve of your nose is slightly off, your lips are thinner, eyes a little closer together.

* The memories begin to flood in, in this world you were on a graduation trip with your parents, you got an all inclusive package. Three days of sightseeing in Volterra.

* You got sick on the last day, when you were signed for a tour of the castle, your parents went without you

* That was the last you saw of them

* You dumbly followed, asking question where you shouldn’t. And ended up at the volturi’s door

* Aro had grasped your hand to see how much you knew, only too see nothing. Likewise Jane’s powers did not work as well

* They were astounded by this, it appears this was several years before Bella was introduced to the story

* And so, you became a prisoner of the tower

* Your soul must have been in this body for quite some time, but you’ve only remembered now, that’s the only explanation for why their powers didn’t work on you. Your consciousness is not of this world.

* There’s a short knock on your door

* “Are you decent?”

* You call back and Alec pops his head in.

* “Ready to go to the library?”

* He looks so kind. The boyish grin that stretched across his face as you shook your head.

* It was in direct contrast to the sadistic personality you had become accustomed to in the books

* “I need a few more minutes”

* You half expect him to lash out at you for being slow. By he only nods, closing the door and waiting outside for you to finish.

* He was you friend. You realized

* He IS your friend

* You think back as you turn on the faucet. He didn’t like you at first, being assigned to guard a human was insulting

* But he started to warm up to you once he heard you play the piano

* This body was quite used to the ivory keys. And so you charmed him as best you could, half for your survival, because the happier you kept him the less likely he was to kill you.

* And half because- you were so lonely, the Loneliness echoed in this body like an ache. Suddenly an orphan, in a continent where you knew no one. All you had was this boy.

* How long have you been here? You kept a talley at one point, but abandoned it after the thirtieth day. What was the point? You would either die or become one of them

* A shiver erupts through at the thought, in your past life you were a vegetarian, you didn’t relish in the idea of killing something alive and moving.

* You pull on a sweatshirt, ripping of the chanel tag. They bought you the nicest things money could buy, the most lavish food you could have.

* They did the same thing with the tourists they lured, keeping them happy and well fed, the same way the cows that became wagyu beef might be cared for. That way when it came time to slaughter, the meal was that much more delicious.

* You suspected this was similar, that should you be an unnecessary addition, you would make a meal suitable for their palette

* Alec basically talks your ear off the entire way to the Volturi library, mostly about literature

* “What are your thoughts on Anna Kerenina?”

* “That the patriarchy needs to be burned to the ground.”

* “That is.... valid”

* He even talks when you’re at the library, much to the annoyance of a few of the other patrons

* “Which book are you looking for now?”

* You stop mid motion on the ladder and turn to look at him. His ruby eyes glowing, he looks bloated. Like he’s fed too much.

* “Alec, why are we friends?”

* You really should keep your mouth shut. Alec was the only real ally you had, you shouldn’t say anything that might put him off

* And yet, it unnerved you, because the Alec in front of you was a very different character then the one you had come to see.

* He looks at you like you hung the moon,

* “Because you’re the most interesting human in the world”

* You burst out laughing, earning several glares.

* “I-I’m sorry Alec, but I’m not, I’m just the most interesting human you KNOW, there’s way more people who are more interesting than me.”

* You expect to see him offended, and he does, but there’s a twinkle in his eyes

* “I’m not so sure about that”

* The days creep by, reading books, eating snacks, it’s nice

* You learn, that Alec hasn’t talked to a human in a very long time. Outside of the screams he heard after devouring one.

* He hasn’t been outside the castle walls in many years, possibly a century.

* “What’s the best part of the human world?” He asked you once

* It’s the 90’s, so smartphones haven’t been invented yet.

* “One tree hill and friends”

* “Well you have a friend right here”

* “No friends the show”

* “The what?”

* And that’s how you got Alec hooked onto cable television

* Who knew the cure to vampire- sadism was a healthy dose of Jennifer Aniston fumbling about on screen

* “Is this what life is like?”

* You shrug, it was what college had been like for you in your past life.

* “It’s kinda what schools like, but i never got to be on my own”

* This body was only 18 after all.

* Alec doesn’t say anything, but his expression falters

* Alec’s only now starting to understand the life you will be denied once Aro decides when to turn you

* Jane joins later

* One day when you and Alec are lazing around the library when she appears, she says nothing, just sits down next to Alec and reads a book

* You’re sure they hear the uneven thumping of your heart as you turn back to your book. Her power doesn’t work on you, you remind yourself

* Not that she even needs it, she could snap you apart like a Kit Kat bar

* And if it came down to it, you’re sure Alec would let her, he might like you but his loyalty’s always remained with his sister

* “So... you watch human television together?” Her bright red eyes flickered from Alec to you.

* You nodded, never sure what exactly it was that would set Jane off

* You had seen enough in the books to know her moods were compatible at best.

* “I would...like to join” she awkwardly looking away, and you were sure if she could, she would be blushing.

* Honestly it’s kind of cute.

* “Sure, the more the merrier”

* And that’s how you basically adopted the sadist twins

* It’s a little harder to get Jane to open up, but once you make a comment about how Phoebe was the best character in friends, she starts to open up

* “Humans are cruel, even when they’re kind it’s only because they want something from you.”

* “Is that what you think about me? That I’m only nice to you because I want something?” she meets your eyes for a few minutes before turning away

* “I’m not sure”

* You understand very gradually why they’re so twisted

* They’d been treated terribly during their human life, in every kind act lingered a dark shadow, in even minor misunderstanding the image of a monster

* Their centuries in the Volturi didn’t help. Under Aro’s ruthless tutelage, and Caius’s sadistic tendencies, They had no one they could trust but each other.

* They were only surviving just as you were

* “Sometimes I wonder how much of my loyalty is real, and how much of it is Chelsea.” She whispers one day, so quietly you barley hear it

* You rest your hand on hers, it’s the only comfort you could think to offer

* When Jane grasps your hand in hers, she breaks every bone in your hand

* She doesn’t understand the pained screams or your mangled hand fit a second, and then she realizes what she did

* Alarmed she carries you halfway around the castle screeching for someone to help

* You pass out from the pain, when you come to you’re in your bed, a very cold hand holding your own

* “How are you feeling?” You don’t recognize this vampire, but you don’t really know anyone outside of Alec and Jane.

* You feel light headed, a warm feeling washing over you, you must be on some strong drugs

* “My body’s still grieving, but my mind is sharp.”

* It’s incoherent at best, but there’s truth to it, your body is still grieving for your parents and the life you’ve lost, but your otherworldly mind is ten steps ahead, cross referencing every action.

* The man offers a short chuckle

* “You really did a number on your hand. I’ve done what I can but...”

* You look down to your hand, half surprised by the bright yellow cast encasing it

* You had figured you would wake up to be a vampire, it just made sense, these were unfamiliar human aches to them after all and vampirism was a simple and effective cure

* They must want something from you, if they’re keeping you human

* You suspect it’s something along the lines of how they waited until Jane and Alec were burning at the stake to save them, so their power would be that much more potent

* Maybe they’re doing the opposite with you, trying to make you as happy as possible to see what effect it has on your ability

* It’s too bad you don’t have one

* “Thank you for your hard work.” You mumble, being human for a little bit longer is well worth the pain.

* “How did you break your hand?”

* “I held Janes’ hand”

* Your doctor let’s out a short laugh

* “That sounds about right”

* You smile, it does sound right, of course you would break your hand that way

* The conversation flows naturally after that, you talk about all sorts of things

* “You think vampires have souls?” He quirks an eyebrow

* “I’m of the opinion that a soul is something you create through hardship and struggle, being able to live longer means that you have more opportunities to have the experiences that result in a soul”

* “That’s an intriguing notion, I wish I had brought my son with me.”

* You’re about to ask about his son, when you’re interrupted by the door swimming open

* “I heard you were awake, are you alright?” Alec rushes in, his eyes frantic

* “Yeah these drugs are top notch” you press the button that releases the pain killers and let out a giggle

* “Is that alright? Humans are awfully sensitive.” Jane pipes up from behind Alec, you hadn’t noticed her in your haze.

* Your doctor chuckles

* “I’m aware,” he’s smiling but it’s strained

* “What’s wrong?” You ask, he was so calm until a second ago, he doesn’t answer you

* “I’ll give you three a moment.”

* You only register he’s gone when you hear the door close

* The twins rush over to you, Jane is kneeled by your side, while Alec hovers over you

* “I-I’m sorry I hurt you, I forgot-I didn’t remember.” You we’re sure Jane would be crying if she could

* “It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean it.” You raise your cast encased hand and give her a gentle pat on the head. “From now on, physical signs of affection will just be one sided.” You joke, which makes Jane grin

* “I’ll practice with some animals before I try touching you again”

* The three of you chat for a bit, they’re both surprised by your cast and ask several questions about its “primary function”

* “I didn’t know there was a doctor here” you murmur, feeling drowsy

* “Carlisle’s not with the Volturi, he’s from another coven in the new world.”

* Your drowsiness flies away in a second

* “That was Carlisle?”

* Jane looks somewhat confused but nods.

* A flutter of hope erupts in your chest, it’s so strong even your grief stricken body feels it

* You might have a chance. It’s slim, Carlisle has a family he loves and needs to protect. But still, they were strangers once too. No different than you.

* It’s a way out of here

* The next few days follow in a drugged haze, Alec and Jane visit every so often, and Carlisle engages you in occasional conversation while checking progress on your hand

* “Why are your eyes gold?” You know, but well, you need him to believe the lie

* “It’s a bit of a long story” he says with a wary smile.

* “I’m not going anywhere”

* He sighs, a genuine smile encompassing his face as he recounts the tale.

* Even though you’ve already heard it all before, it still makes you cry

* Even in the haze, you know something’s.... off

* There’s something about the way Alec won’t meet your eyes when he talks to you, and the uneasy weight that lingers in the air whenever someone else is in the room

* On the third day, it’s Aro who visits you, Alec and Carlisle in tow behind him.

* “Oh my, all that internal bleeding, how awful”

* Even you can feel the insincerity, but it’s the first you heard about internal bleeding

* So that explains it, the drugs and the aches all along your body, it wasn’t just your hand, you were dying

* “Don’t worry, we’ll save you” Aro’s smile is cruel “won’t we Alec?”

* Alec looks afraid, almost pained, but he nods

* Ah, so this was punishment for Alec too. Until that moment, when Jane broke your hand, Aro must have been ignorant to how close the three of you had gotten.

* You close your eyes, you knew this would happen eventually. There were only two ending to this story, and it seemed one had finally been picked

* You feel a pinch on your neck, right above your collar bone, no worse than a flue shot.

* You wait for the pain, the vivid screams you remember from the books and movies, but it never comes.

* Instead it’s just a warm numbness that spreads across your neck and left shoulder.

* “It doesn’t hurt” you murmur, you feel a cold hand rest against your forehead, Alex’s hand.

* It’s so gentle, he must have practiced on some animals first, you think.

* “No the pain comes later.”

* And so you drift into inky black unconsciousness, the last sleep of your human life in this world.

* You dream that you’re sitting at the bottom of a tree, a fig tree, like the one Sylvia Plath wrote about

* Each fig a different path, half of them have already fallen off, dark, as they rot at your feet

* “How do you do it?”

* You look to your side and find the person who’s face you see in the mirror, they’re hugging their knees to their chest, dark circles under their eyes

* “How do I do what?” You ask, they bite their lip

* “How can you be so strong when you’ve just lost everything?”

* You see their eyes brim with tears, and you look away, to the tree that looks over you both

* “I don’t know” It’s the truth, you have an unfair advantage in this world, because you know all the secrets each person carries, while yours remain shrouded in darkness. And yet... it’s not why you persevere

* “All I do know, is that I want to give them hell”

* Your counterpart grins at that, and to your surprise, you feel a smile stretch out across your face

* Yeah, it’s not about power, you just want raise some hell in this backwards misogynistic world.

* “I guess that’s the one you’re picking then huh?” Your counterpart points to a fig, it’s on the tallest branch of the tree, so far out of reach it almost seems unobtainable

* But you only nod

* “Yeah, I think that’s the way I’m going to go”

* They look at you and smile.

* “If you ever get the chance, I hope you punch that jerk Aro right in the face”

* You laugh.

* When you finally awake, you’re still laughing. A smile etched onto your face.

* Everyone’s there, all looking at you with concerned glances.

* Yeah, you’re going to have a lot of fun in this world.

[letarasstuff]

We Fell in Love in October

(A/N): This was requested by an anon. It’s based on No matter what, but you don’t need to read it in order to understand. Also I didn’t specify the reader’s sexuality, so it can be just read as wlw :)

Summary: After coming out to Spencer, how will the team react?

Wordcount: 0.9k

✨Masterlist✨ _______________________________

“Are you ready, Sweetheart?” Spencer asks (Y/N) as they are waiting in the elevator in order to reach the sixth floor. Both of them wear certain matching mismatched socks. Her pant legs are cuffed.

The teenager picks nervously at her nail polish, but nods. “Yes, I think I am. I want them to know, it’s a part of me and I can’t deny or hide it anymore.” The father smiles at her firm statement, proud of having raised a strong and determined young woman.

“It doesn’t matter what the outcome is, I’m already proud of you.” He puts his arm around her shoulder and pulls her close to him. “Thank you for being here for me. I don’t know if I could do that without your support.”

Before he is able to answer with other heartwarming words the doors open to reveal the wanted floor. Together they make their way over to Spencer’s desk, being one of the last to enter to start another day of paperwork.

“Oh, Boy Wonder brought our favorite Wonder Baby. Finally a light in these dark days filled with dead trees”, Penelope cheers as soon as her eyes spott the younger Reid. Happily she runs over and engulfs her in her arms.

Everybody greets (Y/N), even Hotch nods towards her with a ghost of a smile. Emily watches the teenager from her desk and winks when their looks meet. She smiles back as an affirmation.

The following hours mostly consists of fooling around with Morgan by stealing his pens or kicking his chair occasionally. Every now and then (Y/N) goes into JJ’s office, since it’s the only place with hard candy that Spencer doesn’t know about. Both ladies swore to secrecy in that case.

For a few hours (Y/N) sits in Rossi’s office and reads there, because it’s the quietest place in the whole building. Also, he enjoys her presence, the older man extra plays some calming music. It has positive aspects for both of them.

Even Hotch is graced with the teenager’s attention, talking to him about her current college choices and his contacts, who coincidentally owe him.

The day slowly comes to an end, until Derek asks his goddaughter a certain question over a joint break. “Wonder Baby, do you have a pretty boy on your own? I mean, the boys at your school must be flying all over you.”

While popping a cherry in her mouth, she answers: “It’s pretty heteronormative of you to think I only want a pretty boy. Or could have a pretty boy.” The whole table stops in their commotion, except for Emily and Spencer.

“Uh, do you have a pretty girl on your own?” He rephrases his inquiry. The whole attention solely lays on (Y/N), everyone putting their best profiling skills out to use. Even Penelope tries to gauge something from her reaction.

As nonchalantly as possible she shrugs her shoulders. “Yes, I do have a pretty girl on my own. Her name is Rowena.” Again, pretty most everyone stops their movements.

Then, all of a sudden the girls, including Emily, begin to cheer. “This is amazing. Do you guys paint each other's nails and do the other's make up before going on a date?” Garcia asks excitedly. “How long are you two dating?” JJ wants to know. Emily simply goes with a “Does she make you happy?” “We didn’t yet, but it’s a sweet idea for our next date, thank you Penny. We are a thing for three weeks now, so it's still pretty new. And yes, she is one of the best things that happened to me in the last few months. Rowena makes everything… brighter? Like there isn’t shade, because everywhere she goes all things are glowing and sparkling. I-I think this is what the books describe as ‘pink glasses’?” The team melts over the girl’s try to explain the feeling of loving and being loved.

But Morgan is quick to destroy that lovely atmosphere. “I’m mad.” These words are exactly the ones (Y/N) always imagined will start a long monologue of why they won’t support her, her sexuality and her relationship. 

“All this time I was excited to intimidate your first boyf- significant other and now I learn that this one is a girl?! I can’t go up to her and threat her to not hurt you and wave my hip to put the attention on my gun. What am I supposed to do?” This took a complete different turn, but the teenager is thankful for that.

Smiling, she answers: “I can arrange a meeting, so you get to know her. Rowena really is a Sweetheart and the purest soul on mother earth. You all are gonna love her.” “I won’t doubt that any second, Bella”, Rossi tells her with a huge grin. Young love always makes him smile.

“Yeah, also Dave you owe me fifty bucks now.” “Oh shut it, Aaron. Be happy for the Baby here for once. Just because the young one is better scoring it with girls than you”, he grumbles but gets his wallet out nonetheless. The whole table has a confused look on their faces.

“I bet Dave that (Y/N) will find a partner before her graduation. He said after and now I am fifty dollars richer. Thank you Honey. And congratulations by the way, I’m really happy for you. Maybe there is finally someone, who can drag you out into the real world”, Hotch says with a laugh.

“Hey!” (Y/N) tries to protest, unfortunately for her it’s true. She is a homebody just like her father.

Taglist:

All works:

@agentshortstacc

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl

Spencer Reid:

@calm-and-doctor

[mellowswriting]

OMG CONGRATS ON THE FOLLOWERS MY LOVE!!!!💙💙 I would love to request something angst but with a happy ending with Frankie please!!! I’m open for anything! Thank you so much!!!

Always

pairing || Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales x Reader

summary ||  You step in when Frankie’s ex leaves him with their baby and in turn, find your own little family.

word count || 7,213 

warnings || angst, hurt/comfort, parental abandonment

a/n || Thank you so much! Somehow this started as something small and then exploded into my longest fic on this blog. Enjoy! (p.s this gif does things to me smh)

Main Masterlist  |  Join the taglist!

The last thing you expected was a phone call at the crisp time of 11:43 pm. It had been a long day already with your job being a disaster and you were half tempted to just let it ring so you could stay in the warm, safe cocoon of your bed...but something in your gut nagged at you to pick up, told that it was important. The bleary sight of Frankie’s name on your phone screen had you sitting up and rushing to hit the green ‘accept call’ button - he would never call this late unless it was serious. 

He sounded wrecked, his voice panic-stricken and cracking over words too rushed for you to understand, and your heart began pounding. In all of your years of knowing Francisco Morales, you had never heard him like this. Not when he called you while he was out on deployment, not when he whispered to you about the horrors he had seen overseas, not when you comforted him after the shitshow that happened in South America. 

“Frankie, slow down. I can’t understand you,” You tried to make your voice calm and reassuring but your worry bubbled through anyway, and you threw back the warm comfort of your blankets to scramble for clothes. Whatever this was, you needed to be there. There was no way in hell you would just listen to your best friend go through it over the phone. “What’s going on?”

A deep, shuddering breath crackled through the receiver, then “Eliza left us. She just...she just fucking left.” 

Your breath caught in your throat and acidic anger ripped up through your chest, nearly suffocating you in it’s intensity. The mere idea of her walking out on Frankie and their new baby after all she had already put him through...god, you could just scream. It was forced down with a harsh swallow - it was not the time for your own anger. With your sweatpants and hoodie yanked on, you paused, struggling to find any words of comfort. “I’m on my way, okay? I’ll be there soon.” 

“Ok” Frankie whispered and that was how you knew just how bad it was - he didn’t try to convince you not to come out so late or that you could just come in the morning like he did any other time he was in crisis. “Please don’t hang up.” 

“Frankie…” You whispered. Your heart ached for him, wrestling with your anger. “I won’t. I’ll stay on the line, I promise.”

You rambled about any and everything as you drove. He needed to hear your voice, needed to be distracted, but you felt a bit ridiculous talking about the boring things you dealt with at work that day while he was in crisis. It helped, obvious by the way his breathing evened out as he listened and hummed in response.  

There was no telling just how many traffic laws you broke as you sped the few blocks between your home and his. All you could do was be glad you weren't pulled over and managed to throw your car in park and kill the engine in the gravel driveway within ten minutes of leaving your own house. The front door swung open before you even managed to get out of your car and you practically sprinted up the steps to wrap your best friend in your arms. 

Frankie stumbled back slightly as you collided with his chest but he curled his arms around your waist and buried his face in your neck nonetheless. No words passed through the nonexistent space between you. There wasn’t any need. You pushed the door closed behind you before you led him further into his living room and settled next to him on the couch. The sight of his bloodshot eyes and the exhausted slope to his shoulders had a wild mix of anger and sadness whirling through you. 

“Where’s Isabella?” You whispered.

“She’s asleep upstairs. Eliza dropped her off and she just...slept right through it all, the entire argument.” His voice was hoarse, a testament to his rough night. “I...I can’t do this on my own.” 

“Hey, you aren’t on your own.” You said, your tone soft but leaving no room for argument. “I’m not going to tell you it’s going to be easy, but you sure as hell aren’t alone. You have me and the boys. God knows Santi will be happy to flex his status as godfather even more.” 

That pulled a half-hearted smile from Frankie. It was fleeting, gone in less than a second, but you counted it as a win nonetheless. Watching that far away look return to his eyes made you chest ache and you were desperate to break the spell of worry and anger that hung over him. Somehow knowing that you couldn’t even if you tried brought you no closer to peace. 

“Have you eaten?” You asked as you carefully brushed a hand through his hair, appreciating the curls that were usually hidden under his hat. Frankie leaned into the touch and you smiled softly at his acceptance of the comfort you offered. 

“No, but I can’t eat right now.” Frankie grumbled. The intensity of the anger, the shock, the fear, it all gave way to a mind-numbing exhaustion and he just wanted to sleep. You sighed but didn’t push him. “M’tired.” 

“Alright, c’mon. Let’s get you to bed.” You heaved yourself from the couch and offered Frankie a hand to pull him along with you. He grumbled quietly to himself as you ushered him up the stairs, the both of you mindful of the sleeping baby. Frankie flipped the baby monitor on and took a moment to observe the grainy image of his little girl, fast asleep and entirely unaware that their lives had just changed drastically. 

“She deserves better than a broken family.” Frankie whispered, the image of defeat as he sat heavily on the edge of his bed. There was nothing for you to say in that moment, nothing that would ease his burden or change his mind. So instead of speaking, you just sat next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulled him into your side and rubbed his back in slow strokes. Just when you thought he might be calm enough to lay down and get some sleep, Frankie went stiff against you and groaned. “Fuck, I have work tomorrow!” 

He was up and pacing a hole in the floor before you could even blink, grumbling out a quiet rant about the insanity of his situation. It seemed like he was a step away from spiraling out completely - and you knew just how to prevent that. Francisco Morales was a military man through and through; give him clear instructions and he’ll tackle a task with all he’s got. All he needed was for someone to help him see past the panic to the next step. 

“Frankie, stop.” You stepped in his way and put both of your hands on his shoulders firmly, only continuing when he finally looked you in your eyes. “Call the office now and leave a message for them to cancel your tours for the next couple of days so you can get your head on straight. It’s a family emergency. They’ll understand. And after you call them, you need to lay down and at least rest your body, because Isabella will need to be fed in a few hours and you need to get some sleep while you can. I’m staying the night -”

“Wait, what? No, you don’t have to -” Frankie interrupted but was met with your finger at his lips, almost cracking up when he pouted against it. 

“I don’t have to, you’re right. But my best friend needs my help and the little girl that I adore deserves to have a dad who isn’t ripping his hair out from stress. If the tables were turned and I was the one in this position, would you let me convince you to leave?” You took your hand away from his face when you shook his head ‘no’ and you gave him a small smile. “Exactly. So, I’m staying the night and I’ll be here to help wherever you need for as long as you need me. Okay?”

Frankie nodded. After that, it was easy to get him burrowed under his covers. His eyes drooped the second he was settled, and with a final brush of his hair off of his forehead, you turned to head back downstairs and set up a makeshift bed on the couch. A hand shot out from under the blankets to latch onto your wrist and Frankie sounded almost child-like when he whispered, “Please stay.” 

And who were you to deny such a sweet plea? You curled up on the opposite side of the bed, exhaustion finally dragging you under after the day’s insanity. Two hours later when a shrill cry had you both sitting bolt upright, you threw back the covers and slid out of the warmth of Frankie’s bed right along with him. 

“You go make her a bottle and I’ll check her diaper, alright? You asked around a yawn, already shuffling off to the nursery. Frankie made a tired noise of agreement and went downstairs, leaving you to scoop up his crying infant from her crib. “Hi, Bella. Let’s get you changed, yeah? Does that sound good?”

Once she had a clean diaper, you carefully carried her down the stairs and into the kitchen where her father was warming up a bottle. He smiled at the both of you as you approached and reached out to rub his daughter’s back where she lay against you, chest-to-chest. You could see the doubts worming their way back to the forefront of his mind by the way his smile faltered, and you put Isabella into his capable hands. 

“We’ve got this, Frankie. One day at a time.” You murmured to him before leaning down to coo at Isabella, grinning when she gave you a gummy smile. “Yeah, your daddy has you. Everything’s gonna be just fine.” 

And as you looked at the matching pairs of chocolate eyes sparkling at you in the low light of the kitchen, you could feel in your gut that you were right. 

----------------------------

After three weeks of staying at Frankie’s house nearly every night, the two of you had a schedule down packed and after two entire months, Frankie realized you were right. It sure as hell wasn’t easy - far from it, in fact - but everyone had stepped up just like you said. You would care for Isabella when Frankie was at work more often than not with Will and Pope picking up responsibility here and there where they could. The true savior here was you. You woke with Frankie in the morning, held his daughter up so he could kiss her forehead before he left for work, cared for her until he came home, and still stuck around to help after. 

You were a fucking goddess, and Frankie knew he would be lost without you.

Each day that passed had Frankie’s anger dissipating just a bit more. With his focus solely on establishing a new normal for his daughter, there wasn’t really time for him to think about just how screwed over he got. He was fooling himself into thinking that the storm of emotions that thundered in his chest didn’t need to be handled. Logically, he knew that. The clouds would crack and it would all pour from him eventually, he just didn’t know when. 

The boiling point hit on a Saturday. A beautiful day by all other standards; the sun was bright in the cloudless sky, leaving the air shimmering with warmth. The plan was to take a walk to the park with Isabella before meeting the guys for lunch, even though she wasn’t really big enough to enjoy the jungle gyms. In reality, Frankie just wanted to spend some time with his two favorite girls out in the sun. You had Isabella on the couch, getting her dressed after changing her diaper and rambling at her all the while. 

Frankie loved the way you talked to his daughter, as if she was entirely invested in whatever mundane story from work you were recounting, taking her gurgles and the spit bubbles she blew as excited responses. The stack of mail in his hand momentarily forgotten, he leaned over the back of the couch with a small laugh.

“Ya know, I don’t think she understands the intricacies of office politics.” He teased, his grin growing when you tossed him a glare that had no heat behind it. 

“And I don’t think she understands the intricacies of piloting helicopters, but you don’t hear me making fun of you when you ramble on about rotors at three in the morning.” You grumbled. The smile on your face betrayed any attempt to sound annoyed. 

Frankie barked out a laugh. “Touche.” 

With Isabella dressed and ready to rumble, Frankie intended to give the mail in his hands a once-over before heading out the door - until a large, yellow envelope with the state’s stamp inked in the corner caught his eye. What the hell did he do to have the state government contacting him? He racked his mind as he tore the envelope open, trying to think of any recent wrongdoings that could’ve gotten him into some legal mess. Maybe that red light last month actually caught his license plate last month. God, this was the last thing he needed right now with everything else he had going on, and - 

The five words stamped across the top of the papers made his heart lurch in his chest. ‘Voluntary Relinquishment of Parental Rights’, right there in bold lettering. Eliza’s signature was scrawled at the bottom along with a notary’s. He expected sadness, even tears, but no. 

No, Frankie was fucking enraged. 

White hot anger surged, leaving his teeth gritted and the papers crumpled slightly in his clenched fist. It had been years since he felt that kind of rage, somehow even worse than the anger he felt during the absolute shitshow that was the mission in South America. A shuddered breath escaped from behind his teeth as he desperately tried to grasp the urge to throw the papers to the ground, along with anything else within his reach. 

“Frankie?” The sound of your voice calling out to him sweetly, laced with concern and confusion, somehow only made that rage spike. The fact that you had put your entire life on hold to help him care for his child, the child Eliza swore up and down that she wanted with him before disappearing on them both, had him infuriated on your behalf as well as his own. Just how many lives was Eliza going to change forever with no remorse? Frankie tossed the entire pile of mail on the couch and stormed off to the kitchen, not wanting you or Isabella to see him in such a state. 

He had no idea how long he stood braced against the kitchen counter with his eyes squeezed shut, desperately trying to find a way to tamp down on the intensity rolling  through him. There was a quiet conversation coming from the living room, two voices too low for him to make out, and there was suddenly a hand on his own. Frankie finally opened his eyes to see you standing next to him, giving him a soft look that disarmed him and made him feel guilty all at once. 

You shouldn’t have to be here. You shouldn’t have to deal with the bullshit that always seemed to follow Frankie around every fucking corner. You were too good for his troubles, you deserved better. Frankie hated that he had brought you down this hole with him. 

“Where’s Isabella?” Frankie croaked out. 

“I called Will, he’s got her in the living room.” You said, your voice just as soft as the expression on your face, and Frankie wanted nothing more than to bury his face in your neck and cry or smash something on the ground just for the satisfaction of seeing it break. The confliction of his wants only made him angrier. “I saw the papers. What do you need?”

“What do I need?” Frankie repeated with a humorless chuckle before hitting the countertop with a clenched fist, just hard enough to make pain shoot up his arm - and the dam broke. “Anything! Anything but a life where the mother of my child doesn’t abandon us at the drop of a fucking hat!” 

The coffee mug that sat next to the coffeemaker was the unfortunate victim his impulses chose to meet the sudden, desperate need to get this rage out of his body. His arm reared back, ready to smash the ceramic mug right onto the tile, but the firm grab of two hands kept the lucky cup in one piece. You grabbed his forearm with one hand and wrapped the other over his, securing the mug in his grip as you stepped into his space and settled him with a firm look. 

“No, not here. Not like this, not with Isabella so close by.” Shame lanced through Frankie viciously. You were right, as always. How fucking stupid was he to think - “Let’s go.” 

“What?” was all he could mutter as you set down the mug and began pulling him towards the front door. 

“You’ve got Isabella, right?” You asked Will when you paused to fish your keys from the table next to his door, only continuing in your march towards your car when Will confirmed. Frankie’s guilt-ridden confusion only grew as you pulled out of his driveway after ushering him into your passenger seat. “You need to deal with this in a healthy way. Because god knows you have every reason to be downright enraged. Hell, I even wanted to throw shit around for a while.” 

Frankie could only stare at you, his anger and frustration simmering lower the more you spoke. There was a light in your eyes that he recognized, the same one that you had last year when he had to comfort you through the downfall and heartache of your last relationship. It was anger and sadness all wrapped up into an intense shine he recognized all too well. 

“But we are going to do these the smart way.” You continued and met his eyes as you pulled up to idle at a red light. There was… something there beneath the empathy, something hovering at the edges of your expression that he just couldn’t place. “Because you are my best friend and I love you and your daughter way too much to let you destroy yourself.” 

Heat flushed up his neck at the candidness of your words. Oh, god, he could not let that tiny, hopeful part of his brain latch onto that at run with it. No, it would reignite too many old feelings and needs to let himself hope. Of course you loved him and his child - you were his best friend after all. There was no point in letting himself even consider it beyond that. Not when he could destroy everything good he had left in his life. 

Frankie just nodded, trusting in whatever you had in mind. Less than five minutes later, you pulled into the town’s recreational fields and it clicked in his brain. The batting cages. He smiled slightly despite his inner turmoil. This was exactly where he had taken you when you finally got over the shock of your ex-boyfriend’s betrayal and stepped right into an unfathomable rage. 

He let you put the ridiculous helmet on his head and gratefully took the aluminum baseball bat from your hands once you got to the small fenced area where he could finally let out his anger. The quarters clinked as you slid them into the slot and you smiled at him from behind the fence. 

“You might feel stupid at first, but it helps.” You called out over the whirring of the pitching machine powering up and Frankie laughed. He had told you the exact same thing, verbatim when you had complained that the whole idea was ridiculous. 

The harsh crack of the bat meeting that first baseball was like taking a sledgehammer to the wall he had built around his anger. The next one had him grunting into the effort he put behind the swing of the bat, letting every bit of his rage and resentment sing in his veins and bleed into the impact against the ball. Each swing had him building up, had tension racking his back and shoulders only to be released with the ringing sound of aluminum and revived the moment his arms fell to his sides. 

“I just...I can’t fucking comprehend it! First, she was so excited. Went on and on about having the whole thing. ” He called out through each swing, knowing you were there behind him, hanging off of the fence to watch and listen. “The house and the kids and the - the fucking white picket fence life. All of it! And then she wanted all of that, but not with me. No, she’d co-parent and find some other man to shack up with because apparently I wasn’t enough for her. Yeah, it hurt and all but at least she was still around! And out of nowhere, she just fucking left! It’s bullshit!” 

The aluminum echoed harshly where Frankie threw it to the ground, his hands ripping his hat off to muse his hair roughly before settling back on his head. Every ball hit was like a point knocked off of his frustration. It wasn’t exactly fun, but it felt good. 

“Another round?” You asked and Frankie turned to see you with more quarters poised and ready to send more baseballs flying at his head. He nodded, more grateful for you than ever in that moment. 

“But at the same time, I am so glad she left when she did. It’s so conflicting because I’m pissed that she put us through that but at least it’s over!” Frankie continued, the pressure finally easing in his chest as he said the things that were building in his mind the last two months. “She jerked me around for so fucking long. At least I don’t have to worry that she’ll change her mind again. At least I can… move on, move forward in my life.” 

He didn’t even have to ask you for another round when the last ball had been pitched. This time, he said nothing. Neither did you. Frankie just needed to vent, to be heard. He didn’t need advice or pity or words of encouragement. Well, the encouragement he would need later. The rest would just make him even more angry. Every crack of the bat meeting a ball had the anger receding and exhaustion creeping up to take its place. There was a special kind of relief in the absence of anger - it didn’t exactly feel good, but it wasn’t bad either. Almost numbing. 

The bat clattered to the ground after the last ball was sent rocketing into the netting. Frankie was done, for now at least. It would come creeping back in, he knew, but he also knew he could handle it. He felt like he could handle anything with you by his side, with your support and… and your love. It was nice to be taken care of for once. You took the bat back to the office as he plopped himself down at a picnic table and a few moments later, a cool water bottle, dripping with condensation was pressed against the back of his neck. It was soothing against his skin, overheated by the harsh sun. 

The two of you sat together at that table for nearly an hour, not having to speak to convey how either of you felt in that moment. Frankie was beyond grateful, and he could tell you were happy he was feeling better just by the way you rubbed a hand between his shoulder blades. He almost lamented at the loss of your touch when you pulled that hand away, only to have you settle it on his just like you did back in the kitchen. 

You were always there, always managed to make him feel better. Even when his life was crumbling around him, there was solace to be found in you. In your words, your touch. You never made him feel ashamed when he exposed his sadness or his anger, never made him feel less than. It was impossible for that small flame not to flicker back to life deep in his heart. The spark of hope for the future, especially if you were in it. 

“Thank you.” Frankie choked out, unable to express himself any more than that. It didn’t matter, he knew that. You knew how much this little foray into stress relief helped him. 

“Always, Frankie.”

Later that night when all was quiet in his home, when the Miller brothers and Pope had left and Isabella was safely asleep in her crib, Frankie was still exhausted. The boys had come over instead of dragging him out to a restaurant and it was a blast, as always, but he couldn’t help the heavy way his shoulders were set for the rest of the day. He just wanted to sleep. 

The last thing he expected was the tears. An overwhelming feeling of being entirely unwanted washed over him and he was too damn tired to fight it off, so he sat himself on the edge of the bed and cried. No matter how logical he was with himself, no matter how much he reminded himself that he was well loved despite Eliza, the feeling just would not shake. 

Embarrassment layered on top of the sadness when you popped your head into his bedroom, hair still wet from the shower you just took. Frankie wiped the tears away with rough fingers as he turned away from you, giving an entirely fake laugh in a vain attempt to brush it off. He should’ve known better. You padded right up to him and gently cupped his cheek to guide him to look back up at you, and the understanding smile you gave him paired to the gentle brush of your thumb under his eye to wipe a stray tear away had his chin trembling against his will. 

“C’mon,” You whispered. Frankie watched you clamber onto his bed through tear-blurred eyes and settle against his pillows, your arms open in an invitation for comfort that he took without a second thought. Frankie laid his head on your chest, wrapped one arm around your waist, and closed his eyes before he could talk himself out of it. This was dangerous ground, letting himself take comfort in you this way. You brushed your hand through his hair, sighing softly as you relaxed. “We’ve got this. You know that, right?”

“Yeah.” Frankie’s voice was slurred slightly with his sleepiness, the craziness of the day finally pulling him under. “Yeah, we do.” 

---------------------

At eight months old, Isabella was growing into a vibrant, happy little girl and you couldn’t be more proud. You hadn’t expected to play such a large role in her life, but now you couldn’t imagine doing anything else. According to her pediatrician, little Bella was as healthy as a horse and blossoming. ‘A textbook case of healthy development’ was what she had said at the last checkup, leaving you and Frankie to grin at each other. The first appointment after Eliza left was nerve racking with Frankie bouncing anxiously the entire time until Dr.Weston gave them the exact same response - Frankie’s daughter was right on track. 

The relief on his face had broken your heart. How could that man ever think he wasn’t doing right by his little girl? You saw him with her every single day. You saw the way he babbled along with her while spooning baby food into her mouth. You watched him lie on his belly with her in the living room during tummy-time, trying to help her strengthen her neck. You woke up to him stripping the blankets off of the bed when she couldn’t fall asleep anywhere but his arms and wanted her in bed with you both. If there was anyone who could attest that Francisco Morales was an amazing father, it was you. 

And you made sure to tell him that, as often as you could. It made the most delicious flush creep up his neck and paired with that bashful smile he tried to hide by pulling the brim of his hat further down, you could barely keep yourself from kissing him. Guilt ate you alive every single time you had those urges. Frankie was thriving after such an awful ordeal, and there you were, lusting after him like some over-excitable teenager. 

It was impossible not to feel so... domestic in your current set up. You slept at Frankie’s so often that your own home felt almost foreign when you would show up for more clothes or to grab something for work. You worked from his kitchen table or couch, tapping away at your laptop as Isabella slept or played on her playmat in front of you. The instinct to refer to Frankie’s house as ‘home’ and the way you saw the three of you as a little family was new and something you had to nip in the bud right away. 

That type of thinking would inevitably end in heartbreak when Frankie sent you on your way once he didn’t need as much help with Isabella. At least you knew it wouldn’t be anytime soon and could enjoy it while it lasted, especially since the home was currently plagued with a two word nightmare neither of you expected. 

Sleep. Regression. 

You sat in the glider with Isabella slumped against your chest, her cute little face pressed against your sternum as you rocked sleepily. Her eyelids fluttered every now and then, but there was yet to be a moment you could settle her into her bed. Frankie had tried before you, but even daddy’s arms weren’t good enough for the fussy baby. He was rooting around downstairs, searching for a little stuffed hippo that sometimes helped her calm down, but at that point, you were willing to just sleep right there in her nursery. 

The door cracked open slowly and you peeked one eye open to see Frankie shake his head slightly as he walked in. You held back a sigh. That damned stuffed hippo was going to be the death of all three of you, apparently. Frankie made an urgent noise and your eyes flew open, your eyebrows pinching together in confusion. With a baby constantly on the verge of either falling asleep or waking up, the two of you learned to communicate without words, instead using pointed looks and hand gestures to get a point across. 

Frankie gave a pointed look Isabella and you tilted your head down to get a good look at her, and good god you could barely believe your luck. A very long, drawn out transfer from your chest to her crib later, and you and Frankie were creeping out of the nursery, careful to avoid the creaky sections of the hallway. The second the door was closed, you held up a hand for a quiet high five with the goofiest grin on your face, and Frankie obliged with a chuckle. 

You practically threw yourself onto the bed you were starting to consider your own, yet another dangerous road, you knew that much. The stubbornness both you and Frankie held strong to had neither of you willing to let the other take the couch, insisting that ‘no, you need good sleep.’ and ‘well, you do, too!’. Each night you spent curled up next to him and waking up a hairsbreadth from each other had you positively yearning. 

It was nearly three in the morning and both of you had work in a few hours. The idea filled you with dread, and that was how you found yourself whispering to Frankie that you were calling out because ‘exhaustion is the best reason to use a sick day’. He cracked up at your antics as he crawled in next to you, but the look he gave you once he was settled in… it made your heart flutter in your chest. It was an exhausted, relieved, and grateful expression all rolled into one and in that moment, you felt like you could look at him forever.

You didn’t get the chance to. Frankie slid his arm under your shoulders and pulled you against him. It was too familiar of an embrace for you to shy away, even though you knew you should. You should’ve stayed on your side of the bed with plenty of space between you if you wanted to avoid heartbreak, but instead, you snuggled close to him and set your head right on his chest. You could let yourself indulge in the fantasy that he was yours for just a bit longer, especially if it meant getting this unforgettable experience of curling up with the man you adored. 

The steady rhythm of his heartbeat lulled you closer to the abyss of sleep, until his chest rumbled as he spoke, making you blink up at him. 

“Thank you, cariño.” Frankie settled his hand against your head, playing gently with your hair. 

“Always, Frankie.” You whispered back, a smile on your face even as you slipped into the most peaceful rest you had in years. 

-----------------------

The house was full of people. For the first time in months, Frankie threw a cookout. It was something you had missed dearly, inviting everyone over for food and beers and a bonfire if the mood was right. Isabella was beyond happy to see everyone she loved all at once, the nine month old squealing with delight at each person who scooped her up from her bouncer. You watched carefully, always ready to swoop in if needed while Frankie ran in and out of the house between the kitchen, grill, and living room. 

You had been worried it might be too much for him, the pressure of so much socializing after such a hard time, but he was all grins and twinkling eyes as he ran about. It warmed your heart to see that happiness radiating off of him. God, had you missed it. Things were finally looking up and it felt as if you had let go of a breath that was held in for far too long. 

Almost everyone was out in the backyard, soaking up the last of summer before fall got her chilly grip on the world, with you and a few others inside chatting. Isabella had just woken up and boy was she ready to go. Those chubby little legs flailed as you wrestled her into a clean diaper and back into her pretty pink dress. You leaned back with a small laugh once she was finally dressed, letting her have the free reign to roll over onto her belly. 

You glanced up at Will where he sat on the couch a few feet away taking a break from all the chitchat, and he grinned at you, muttering something about her being just like her father. You couldn’t agree more. You went to pick her up and carry her outside where she could get some sun and squeal at more guests, but your hand met the carpet instead. Isabella grinned at you less than a foot away, propped up on all fours as she scrambled away so quickly you worried she would get rug burn before you realized - holy shit, she’s crawling. 

“Go get Frankie!” You said to Will, who was staring at Isabella with a proud grin. He jumped to his feet, ever the good soldier taking commands, and you scooped the giggling little girl into your arms. “Look at you go! Oh, I’m so proud of you, sweet girl!”

A frazzled Frankie skidded around the corner out of nowhere, half of the crowd piling in behind him in worry, and internally you cursed Will for not informing him that nothing was wrong. Before Frankie could even ask, you motioned for him to sit down a few feet from you and he listened despite the deeply confused look he wore. 

“Are you gonna show daddy your new trick, Bella? Huh? Go on,” You cooed as you set her back down on her hands and knees, and she took off like a bat outta hell, scrambling for her father, who watched with wide eyes. Frankie broke off into a loud laugh and picked her up to cradle her against his chest, his eyes bright with unshed, happy tears as the crowd of friends and family let out whoops and claps. 

“Oh my god!” Frankie laughed wetly, shuffling forward on his knees to pull you in for a hug with his little girl in between you. Your cheeks hurt with the huge smile you wore as you wrapped your arms around him. The way he looked at you tore through your chest with the most pleasurable kind of pain and the urge to kiss him would have been undeniable if not for the friends that surrounded you. So you cleared your throat and leaned back, pushing his bicep gently.

“You better get back to that grill before everyone in here starves to death.” You tease and leave it at that, gathering Isabella in your arms to take her outside. What you didn’t see was Pope grabbing Frankie and dragging him up the stairs before he could make it outside along with you. You flounced about the backyard, the hem of your sundress fluttering at your knees as you let everyone get a chance to coo at the happy girl in your arms. 

Everyone was so happy, all smiles and laughs as they caught up with each other about the various going-ons of their lives, and you wanted to capture it so you could look back on the happy memories. 

“Hey, I left my phone upstairs. Do you mind if I leave her with you? I should be right back.” You asked Pope’s girlfriend, Jessa, who eagerly accepted the baby time. 

You climbed the stairs easily, humming some silly tune as you pushed open Frankie’s door. With your phone fully charged, you popped it off of the charger and sat on the edge of the bed to check your notifications. There were few messages here and there, mostly from people letting you know they were on their way a few hours ago, so you were content to make your way back outside with the sound of voices caught your attention. It was a low, metallic sounding conversation, but the TV was off, leaving only…

On the screen of the baby monitor were Frankie and Pope, both of them standing with their arms crossed tightly over their chests. If you didn’t know better you would have been worried they were about to fight with the way they glared at each other, but whatever it was wasn’t any of your business. You were going to leave but the sound of your name made you pause. Eavesdropping is wrong, you reminded yourself, even if you were painfully curious, and you made for the door once more until you heard Pope said, “You have to tell her, Fish!” and you froze entirely. 

“That woman loves you! She loves your little girl. You’re going to lose out on a good thing if you keep going like this, man!” Pope hissed and for a second, all you could hear was your own heartbeat. He couldn’t mean what you hoped he meant… right?

“I can’t! Isabella is already down one parent, and that… that amazing woman stepped in and saved us both. What kind of a father would I be if I risked my daughter losing a good woman? And for what? Because I'm in love? Absolutely not.” Frankie said in a tone you had never heard from him before. It was harsh, ringing with finality, and it absolutely tore your heart in two. 

But the halves of your heart were made whole by the single sentence, ‘Because I’m in love’. Frankie loved you. He said it. You heard it with your own two ears and suddenly those fears of yours felt absolutely ridiculous. That man and his daughter was your family, no two ways about it. And you couldn’t let him go on thinking that you didn’t love your little family more than anything in the world.

So you snuck back downstairs, your heart flying in your chest as you rejoined the little party and tried to act as normally as possible. In reality, you were paying more attention to the back door than anyone who tried to talk to you, giving little ‘mhmm’s instead of answering the questions anyone asked you. 

Yeah, you could be entirely oblivious sometimes. 

The second Pope and Frankie emerged from the back door you were on the move, excusing yourself from the conversation you hadn’t really been a part of anyway. The confused look Frankie gave you when you asked to talk to him inside was being adorable, his eyebrows scrunched together and head tilted to the side just slightly. He followed you in nonetheless, leaning against the kitchen counter as he popped open a sweating beer. Before he can even ask what’s going on, you step into his space and put your hands on his chest gently, watching as his confusion melts into surprise. 

“You are never going to lose me.” You whisper. “Neither of you.”

A blush bloomed up his neck and over his cheeks. “You...you heard that?”

“Didn’t mean to, scouts honor.” You smiled at him, trying to imbue him with the ease and absolute happiness you felt. “The baby monitor was on.” 

“Oh.” 

You can’t help but chuckle at the simple response and press up on your tiptoes, your hands sliding up to drape over his shoulders so you could play with the curls at the nape of his neck. The breathy sound that escaped Frankie’s chest had your need mounting, desperate to feel his lips on yours, and you lean forward to brush your nose along his. “Say it, Frankie.” 

“I love you.” He said it immediately, whispered it into you with a grin so bright it lit up the room with his happiness. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.” You barely get it out before he leans forward to kiss you, soft and desperate and happy, all at once. Frankie’s hands fell to your hips and pulled your body flush against his, and it made you to grin against his lips. 

You were giddy. That was the only way to describe the excitement that left you almost vibrating with energy as you melted against Frankie’s chest. His lips were sweet, touched by the strawberries and grapes he snacked on as he grilled. 

“You love me, huh?” He muttered and pressed his forehead to yours, eyes closed with a goofy smile that made your heart lurch in your chest. 

“Always, Frankie.”

[another-fantasy-world]

hi could you please make another alice cullen x fem!reader?? i really really love your last one you made, it was so beautiful <3

||AN|| Thank youuu! I'm happy you enjoyed my last one, also, thank you for requesting!

 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆      ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Pairing: Alice Cullen x Fem! Reader

Summary: Alice with a human girlfriend who’s more vampire-like than her.

Warnings: None? Fluff. Happy Couple.

Word Count: 2,084 words

GIF isn’t mine

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆      ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

You were always the night owl, lived off coffee and good books and you only wear dark colors. Your routine includes waking up at 10 pm, Cooking and eating your dinner at approximately 11:30 pm, Studying until 6 am, Taking a shower, Make your coffee, and be at school at 7:00 am where you meet up with you too-bright-and-jolly girlfriend, Alice Cullen. After school you then either head home to your own house, or to the Cullens household, either way you crash into anything soft and just ultimately pass out, and your cycle repeats. Sometimes your girlfriend would join you in studying even if she didn’t need it, Sometimes you’d do other things with your girlfriend, some of the things you do aren’t appropriate for a house full of vampires with super hearing, and not to mention her nosy brother who had the ability to read minds. 

“Get out of the way before I pummel you to the ground asshole.” You grumbled to the guy who’s blocking your way and was staring at your girlfriend like she’s a piece of meat. You hated that but you couldn’t do anything. One, pretty sure it’s illegal to kill someone even if you’re thinking about all the ways you could and Two, you miss you girlfriend’s cold hand holding yours.

You see him shiver before grabbing his things and scrambling away, his goons hot on his tail. 

“You have the most creative mind I have ever come across. Really? Using his blood as paint after you use gamma rays to blow up his uhm. Yeah. Where would you even get gamma rays?” Edward scrunches his face as they all approach you.

“Pretty sure Carlisle would hook me up with some.” You smirked then kissed your girlfriend’s forehead, You held her hand in yours as she giggled, getting out of her trance like state.

“Carlisle denied.” She kissed your cheek before dragging you inside the school, where they all separated like the goddamn sea in that one bible story.

Safe to say, you were pretty feared in the whole town. Socially isolated, always has a cup of coffee in hand, dark marks under your eyes, a blank looks often settles on your face,always had earphones in, glared at people who made your family uncomfortable, scared people without trying and a student could’ve sworn he saw you drink someones blood which he says was inside your coffee cup. It was beetroot juice since you ran out of coffee but needed something hot to drink, so you made beetroot juice, with lots and lots of sugar. You were dubbed as a vampire or a witch, which was hilarious considering your girlfriend is a vampire. A bright, happy, sparkling vampire who doesn’t sleep in coffins whatsoever. 

“Have a good day baby, see you at lunch.” Alice kissed your cheek before bouncing in her classroom followed by Emmett who winked at you and Rosalie who raised her brows at you and told you to behave.

“I always behave!” You argued with a small pout on your lips, barely noticeable but Rosalie just smirks before walking gracefully into the room, sitting in between Emmett and Alice who just shooed you away. 

“It’s never a good day.” you whispered while walking away, fully knowing that they could hear you.

Lunch came so slow that by the time you sat at your usual spot, you already had thoughts on murdering your history teacher who ‘unintentionally’ spat at your face and drizzled her spit on your face like a waterfall.

“It’s only been half a day Y/LN, You’ll get through it.” Rosalie slides her tray of food over to you while petting your head.

“i don’t understand why you choose to go through this over and over again.” You groaned, laying your head on Alice’s shoulder. They just laughed and proceeded to talk about things that you don’t even bother to listen to.

“You’re coming over today right?” Alice asked you with that bell like voice that you so loved

“Hmm? Oh yeah, Cuddles?” You whispered to her, internally groaning at how soft you’ve become for your girlfriend. 

“Yes please. You’re warm.”

“And you are freezing cold.” You retorted, stealing some of her fries

“It comes with the package. Now come on, I’ll walk you to your room.” She pats you head while moving away, packing her things. Which low-key made you whine.

“But I always escort you to your room.” You complained

“That’s true, but I figured you wouldn’t be opposed to change.” She smiled, offering her hand which you took.

“Edward?” 

“Nope. Not telling you. I am not going on another shopping spree with that little devil of yours.” He sped walked away, dragging Bella with him

“I think you traumatized him real bad, Ali.” You chuckled

“Good.” She exclaimed

12 midnight, and you just woke up to Alice holding you while reading a book, She smiles at you before tapping her lips, asking for a kiss. You shook your head no, trying to get out of her arms to brush your teeth.

“Nope, kisses first before brushing.” She grips you tighter

“Eww. Morning breath. Alice please!” She just grins before showering your face with kisses.

“There. You can go now, Esme just finished your dinner.” She beamed at you, pushing you into the large bathroom that she has before sitting on the sink.

“Uhm...” You stare at her, confused

“What?” 

The both of you took an hour long shower, you didn’t even need to shower, Alice just persuaded you into doing so. Earning you different looks from different vampires the moment you walked down the stairs.

A suggestive smirk from Rosalie and a laughing Emmett A smirking Jasper A confused Bella with a disgusted looking Edward A smiling Esme holding a bowl of food  And lastly, A laughing Carlisle.

“Oh my God.” You groaned, walking to the dining room, thanking Esme for the food. 

“Really Y/N?” complained Edward who’s cuddling a still confused Bella

“What? Just because you decide to wait until marriage does not mean I have to.” You smirked, winking at Edward who would be blushing if he was human.

“Don’t talk while your mouth is full.” Scolded Esme who’s also trying to keep her laugh in

“Yes Mom. Anyways, Bella I love you, but you look like you’re about to shut down and ready to be pawned like an old computer.” You told her, biting into a chicken leg

“i’ll take her home.” Edward says, grabbing his keys and waits for Bella.

“Why is she here anyways” Grumbled Rosalie, who everyone ignored while you just tapped her head

“Let’s play chess when you get back!” You shouted after him

You finish your food quickly and washed your plates, much to the distaste of Esme, leading your giggling short girlfriend to the couch beside Jasper.

“Jasper~ Wanna watch documentaries of wars and judge everything they did wrong?” You ask Jasper who’s nodding at your request. Alice plopping herself on your lap as she stares at you laughing and smiling with her family.

She’s really happy to have found you the way she did, She reminisced the time when the two of you first met. You were browsing racks and racks of clothes, taking black colored blouses, shirts and button-ups that are your size before walking into a dressing room. While you were in the room, she started to have a vision about the two of you together, having dates and you carrying her shopping bags in this same store, making her all giddy. She was with Rosalie at that time, who just stared at her with a look of slight confusion as she basically bounced to you. You at first was taken aback that someone was actually talking to you, and it was a cute girl at that. Alice greeted you with a smile and a hello before handing you a green blazer and tie, telling you emerald green compliments your eyes and outfit before paying for what you were buying, writing her name and number on the receipt, leaving you dumbfounded at the store

At first she thought that the both of you wouldn’t work out, especially because of all the chaos that recently happened to her family and leaving forks. But you made the effort of always texting her little notes and telling her how your day was, even if she didn’t reply, slowly she felt herself fall more in love with you, letting herself reply and indulge in the visions that she had that involved you. Once she told her family about you, they were a bit skeptical, especially since Carlisle tended to your knuckle wounds one too many times. But upon seeing the love sick look on both your eyes and the loud complaining of Edward at how sickeningly cute your thoughts were of each other, they eventually accepted you as one of their own despite being human. 

And now she stares in awe as you spent about 2 hours criticizing documentaries with Jasper before Edward comes home, and when he did, you played a couple rounds of chess (You always lost, which made Edward laugh every time.) before she decided that she’s bored with you losing to her brother every round and just decided to pick you up and dash to her room. 

“What was that for love?” You ask her when she settled herself in your arms

“I just. I was bored and I realized that it’s been too long since we cuddled.”

“It’s literally been 4 hours since I woke up bumblebee.” You ran your hand through her hair

“I missed you. 4 hours is too long.”

“Awe. I missed you too. Want to pick up where we left off on How to Kill a Mockingbird?” You ask her

“Yes please, I love hearing your voice.” She puts her face on the crook of your neck as you read to her, one of your hand intertwined with hers.

Even though she can’t fall asleep anymore, she loves the way your voice sounds, it calms her down and she could easily compare the “peace” she feels right now to the “peace” she could remember feeling when she was asleep. She really did love you and she doesn’t hesitate to let you know. In multiple various ways. 

Like now, she cut off your reading when her soft lips touched yours. You immediately let go of the book to hold her face lovingly as you put all your feelings into the kiss like you always do. You always felt like your words are never enough, so you always try to express your feeling through physical affection.

As if remembering you need your air, she slowly pulls away, her forehead touching yours as you catch your breath.

“I love you” she whispers, kissing your nose

“I love you too.” You smiled, pecking her lips

Your moment was then ruined when Emmett started banging his fists on the door, loudly exclaiming that you all have to get ready for school. You growled lowly, rolling your eyes.

“Alright! Geez.” You grumpily picked up the book that was tossed to the floor before walking to Alice’s closet where you also keep some of your clothes in...

Only to see that they weren’t there.

“Uhm Alice? Darling? Where are my clothes?” You ask her

She walks to where you are, peeking in slightly before pecking your lips.

“Oops. Accidentally sent all them to your house. Guess you have to wear my clothes then.” She smirked at you, pulling out a lemon yellow trench coat, a rosy pink turtleneck and hot pink pants with a blue belt.

“Baby, Alice. Love. Darling. Bumblebee. Please don’t do this to me.” You pleaded but she just shook her head, handing you the clothes before threatening you with no kisses and cuddles for a week if you refuse.

Your shoulders sag with defeat as you change into the clothes Alice gave you, pouting while walking down the stairs of the Cullen Household. Alice smiles brightly as she hooked her arm around yours. Chuckles and giggles erupted the moment they saw you which made you grumble and murmur underneath your breath as you sip your cup of coffee made by Esme.

“You-” 

“Not a word.” You growled out, blushing furiously as you laughing girlfriend holds your hand while walking through the halls of Forks High school. 

Your girlfriend can be annoying at times, add that to her chaotic family, but you would never trade it for anything. Ever.

[abbacchiosbelt]

Hold On | Prosciutto x Reader

A commissioned fic for the wonderful Shae!

CW: Misogynistic comments [not from Prosciutto], oral sex. NSFW, 18+ only.

Word Count: 3.3k words.

The sunlight filtering through the apartment’s cheap blinds forces you to blearily open your eyes, your gaze immediately falling to the man in the bed next to you – Prosciutto. The night you’d spent with him had been more than you’d ever dreamed of, especially with a man of Prosciutto’s caliber. Handsome, mysterious, and clearly well-off by the price of the dinner he’d taken you out to. Though he’d waved you away when you asked for the price, you managed to catch it out of the corner of your eye. Prosciutto had even spent the night with you, letting you fall asleep on his chest while he stroked your hair. It was tender, intimate – not something you necessarily expected after a single date.

Prosciutto stirs, as if he knew you were thinking about him, his eyebrows knit together and his mouth pulled into a frown. When he catches your eyes, you see a brief hint of a smile before he sits up and immediately stands to start gathering his clothes.

“You’re leaving already?” You sit up, pulling the covers over your chest. Prosciutto nods but doesn’t look over at you. Your stomach falls, but you should have expected it. At the very least, you wouldn’t have been opposed to him staying for a light breakfast. Once he’s fully dressed, he finally turns to look at you. His eyes are steely, portraying no emotion.

“It was…” He waves his hand in the air, searching for the word. “Very good. But, ah,” Prosciutto hesitates, watching your expression. He remembers the text Illuso had sent him in the middle of the night; a line in English to use when he left in the morning. “I’m a busy man, cara.” It’s only a little clunky when he speaks, the pet name afterwards flowing smoothly from his lips.

It was like that, then – his warmth from the night before must have been an act. You don’t bother trying to pretend that you’re okay with his behavior, instead giving him a cool look in return. You tilt your head towards the doorway, affixing him with a look that said everything he needed to know. “Ciao, Prosciutto.” The words are no longer kind like when you saw him on the sidewalk and stopped to talk to him, instead sounding final. He sighs and gives you one last lingering look before he steps out of the room. You don’t move until you hear your front door close.

“Bastard,” you mutter under your breath, flopping back down on your pillow. You cover up the side of the bed where he’d been sleeping with your comforter, ignoring the lingering scent of his cologne. You were tempted to waste the day in bed but instead decide to strip your sheets, throwing them unceremoniously in the washing machine and adding in too much fabric softener. At least the scent of him would be gone. A part of you feels foolish for being so upset, and yet another part of you can’t let go of how genuine Prosciutto seemed. While you didn’t want to deal with it today, you couldn’t ignore the feeling that there was something more to your night with him.

-

Prosciutto stubs his cigarette out on the ground, frowning at how many cigarette butts were littered around the front doorstep of his home and workplace. He could have cleaned it up himself, but he wasn’t the only smoker in the group, so why should he have to? The filth sours his already dour mood, the blonde muttering curses as he unlocks the building’s door. It hadn’t been his first choice to live with his teammates, but since the loss of Sorbet and Gelato, the close quarters provided them with an extra layer of safety.

Prosciutto groans in annoyance when the first faces to pop up into his view are Melone and Formaggio, the pair staring at him expectantly. Melone was lounging on the dingy couch he’d brought with him when he moved in, his laptop perched on his legs. Formaggio was sitting in the large chair that Risotto usually claimed, both of them looking like the cat who got the canary. It irked Prosciutto that they were staring at him like they knew something, and he wondered if Illuso hadn’t blabbed about the whole thing. It wouldn’t be unlike him.

“Welcome back,” Melone says, practically purring. The way he spoke made Prosciutto’s skin crawl – Melone always had a certain tone to his voice when he was going to say something inappropriate. “So, the neighbor girl? What was her name again? Oh, I suppose you wouldn’t remember now.” Melone’s mouth curls up into a smug smile, his tongue poking out. Prosciutto bristles, and Formaggio lets out an obnoxious snort.

“Knew you’d get to her first.” Formaggio whistles, wiggling his eyebrows. “Was her ass as good as it looked?” Prosciutto glares at Formaggio, his eyes darkening. The banter around who his teammates were fucking was something he should be used to, despite the fact Prosciutto didn’t enjoy participating in it. Something about this time, though, was filling him was anger. Formaggio continues, ignoring Prosciutto’s expression. “I bet she was easy for you. You pretty bastards practically make those easy slut’s panties fall off just from looking at them.”

“Ooh, and how was that pretty mouth of hers?” Melone chimes in – unlike Formaggio, he’d noticed Prosciutto’s growing rage, but took pleasure in upsetting the blonde. Prosciutto growls and steps forward, Grateful Dead rising from behind him. Before he can advance on them, a voice cuts through—

“Aniki! Y-you remember what Risotto said about Stands in here.” Pesci’s unsure voice breaks the tension in the room, Melone and Formaggio recoiling back at the sight of Prosciutto’s deadly Stand. Prosciutto takes a ragged breath before recalling his Stand, Pesci’s intervention forcing him to remember where he was. Pesci nervously steps over to Prosciutto; afraid he’d made him even angrier. Prosciutto claps Pesci on the shoulder.

“You’re right,” Prosciutto says. His cool demeanor is back in an instant. He doesn’t bother to look at Melone and Formaggio when he starts to walk back towards his room, saluting Pesci with two fingers before he shuts the door behind him. Prosciutto lets out a deep breath when the door is securely locked, kicking off his expensive shoes. He preferred to spend as much time as possible away from this place, but there were no errands that needed to be run nor any missions that he and Pesci were suited for at the moment. He had a rare few hours to himself before someone would inevitably knock at his door to bother him. Alone time was something sacred to Prosciutto, but with the thoughts boiling over in his head about her, it was something he was dreading. He glances at the English dictionary Ghiaccio had (loudly) snuck into his room, his stomach twisting.

There was no denying that Prosciutto had fallen for her.

Feelings were a dangerous thing for an assassin to have. Prosciutto was trained from a young age on how to push his feelings to the back of his mind – he was primed for Mafia life. Passione and completing the missions given to him came before anything else, especially his own personal life. Prosciutto had lived that way for years. Emotions were drowned in cheap booze and cigarettes, any fleeting feelings he may have stamped out by his own harsh nature. He had never spent a second night with anyone he’d slept with in the past five years, and that was going to be how he lived until he died. Prosciutto was well aware of the dangerous life he lived – he was cold, but he wasn’t cold enough to put someone in harm’s way, even if he wanted them more than anything.

Even if they had made warmth bloom in his chest for the first time in years and made him truly feel something.

Prosciutto closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose as he sits on his bed, fishing another cigarette out of his jacket’s pocket. He preferred to smoke outdoors, but he can’t be bothered to care in his current emotional state. Prosciutto lights his cigarette and takes a deep drag, letting the smoke burn his throat before he exhales. He thinks about the previous night – how lovely his company had been and how much she’d made him laugh. How well they clicked despite the language barrier, and how easy it felt with her; her demure smile before he’d taken her to bed, and how easily she had made him fall apart.

Prosciutto knows he should ignore his feelings. It’s what he was trained to do, after all. It’s what he should do – but he knows he can’t. Not this time. He stands from his bed and opens the small window in his room, tossing his half-finished cigarette out.

He’d give her time – a week for both of them to cool their heads. Even if she didn’t want to see him again, he had to try.

-

The next few days pass by without incident. You go to work and continue life as it was before, frustrated but determined to move on. Your phone stays silent, and you try to ignore the part in you that hopes it will ring.

It’s fine, you tell yourself. It was just one date.

When you hear a knock on the door one week to the day after your date with Prosciutto, you’re cautious. The neighborhood you lived in wasn’t known for its safety, and it was rare that anyone knocked on your door. Clad in loungewear, you peek through the eyehole to see the last person you were expecting.

There stood Prosciutto, shifting from side to side. You unlock your door and crack it open, watching as Prosciutto’s eyebrows shoot up for a moment before his face returns to its grumpy looking state. Maybe he hadn’t expected you to answer.

“Can I come in?” Prosciutto asks, quiet. You hesitate, wondering exactly what he could want. He doesn’t pressure you, waiting in silence while you deliberate. You knew you might regret it, but you open the door and usher him in. He shuts the door behind himself and leans against it, biting his bottom lip. You hadn’t known him long, but you had never seen him look so anxious. “Bella, I…” He starts, trailing off.

You stop him before he gets too far, crossing your arms. “I don’t want some apology you give to every girl.” Prosciutto frowns but doesn’t interject. “You hurt me.”

Prosciutto nods, and you raise an eyebrow at him. He pauses for a second while he thinks about what he wants to say. “Mi dispiace, Shae.” His eyes meet yours, the sound of your name coming from his mouth making your heart pound. It was almost criminal how easily you wanted to forgive him, but you needed more than just an apology. Prosciutto takes a step forward and holds his hand out. You place your hand in his, hesitant. He lifts your hand to his lips and presses a soft kiss against the back of it. “Can we… try again?” Prosciutto is earnest when he speaks, your hand still resting in his. He threads his fingers through yours, a soft smile on his face. “Per favore?”

As tempting as it was to accept his apology, you refused to let him back into your life without making sure Prosciutto knew how you felt – about how you wouldn’t just be tossed to the side again. You keep a hold of his hand, giving it a small squeeze. “Prosciutto, I want to, but…” He raises his eyebrows, but his deep blue gaze doesn’t leave yours. “Tell me the truth. Do you want me?” Prosciutto opens his mouth, but you use your free hand to press your index finger against his lips. He looks surprised, but he keeps his mouth shut. “Not just now. But in the future?” You think for a moment that you might need to translate for him, but Prosciutto nods eagerly. He pulls you into him, wrapping one arm around your waist.

“Sì, Shae. I want you,” he leans forward until his forehead rests against yours. “Now. Tomorrow. Costantemente.” He breathes, ghosting a kiss across your lips. “Can I?”

You close the gap between your mouths as an answer, Prosciutto’s responding groan as his warm lips found your own making your lower half ache – you’d been dreaming of feeling his touch again. Prosciutto lets go of your hand and grabs the back of your head, pulling you deeper into the kiss. He was more vocal than he’d been last week, his moans needy as you slide your tongue across his lower lip.

For the first time, Prosciutto felt like he could let his walls down around someone – he can barely think with your lips finally on his again. Never had he ached so much for someone. To Prosciutto, you felt like a lover he’d been with for years. He wanted to make it up to you for being such a fool, to treat you like the goddess he saw you as. He slides his hands down your body and squeezes your ass before hauling you up, encouraging you to wrap your legs around his waist. The surprised noise that you let out makes Prosciutto’s already hardening length twitch, but it was the last thing on his mind. The only thing he could think about was hearing you cry out for him as he buried his face in between your legs. He maneuvers you to your bedroom like he’d been in your home a million times, gently laying you down on the bed before hungrily looking over you.

The fact you only had loungewear on while Prosciutto was dressed in his usual outfit makes you feel self-conscious, but the blonde barely seems to care what you have on. You squirm as his eyes rove up and down your body, Prosciutto grinning at your reaction.

“Sei bellissima,” he purrs. The words affect you just as much as they had the first time you heard them from Prosciutto, your heart thumping in your chest. To be called beautiful by someone as handsome as Prosciutto felt unreal, but you knew by the look in his deep blue eyes that he was sincere. Prosciutto crawls over you on the bed and puts his fingers under the hem of your shirt, waiting.

“Take it off.” Prosciutto hums, pleased at your eager response, and wastes no time sliding your shirt up and off. He bites his lip at the sight of your freed breasts and uses his hands to cup them, softly rubbing his thumb over your hardening nipples. The soft touches have you arching into his fingers, greedy for more. “Please,” you beg, and Prosciutto smirks. He leans down and captures your right nipple in his mouth, his warm tongue circling around the bud before he flicks it, repeating the rhythm before moving to your other breast. One hand travels down your body while he works your breasts, his hand trailing over your hip bone and dipping slightly beneath the fabric covering your lower half. He pulls back and admires his handiwork, his cock uncomfortably hard in his pants now. Prosciutto ignores it, focusing on you instead.

Prosciutto trails kisses down your torso until he reaches your lower stomach, his eyes flitting up to look at you under his dark lashes. “May I?” He asks, playing with the hem of your pants.

“P-please,” your voice is wobbly – he hadn’t done this last time, and you were a little nervous. Prosciutto presses a kiss to your stomach and lifts his head, your anxiety obvious to him. You know he’ll ask you if you’re sure, so you beat him to it, your cheeks darkening. “I want it,” Your eyes don’t leave Prosciutto’s. “Please, Prosciutto.” Asking for what you want is enough to make your cheeks blaze even harder from embarrassment, but Prosciutto’s wide smirk is evidence that he enjoys how forward you were being.

Prosciutto slides your pants down and off your legs with ease before he moves back up and gently spreads them apart, exposing your glistening pussy. You feel embarrassed at how wet you are, but it was impossible not to be with Prosciutto’s masterful kissing and touching. He licks his lips as he gazes at your sex, using two fingers to spread your lips apart.

“P, Prosciutto-” you whisper-shout, flustered. If you could see his mouth, you’d see the grin on his face.

“Hm?” He replies, leaning forward. You can feel his warm breath on you, the sensation making your body feel hyper aware. “Perfetta.” You shiver, remembering his words from your previous encounter – despite the embarrassment from being exposed in front of him, you were dying to know how his mouth felt. Your wish is granted when Prosciutto suddenly licks a long stripe from your perineum to your clit using the flat of his tongue, a growl coming from his throat as he tastes your juices.

“Oh!” You shout, the feeling of his tongue almost too good. Prosciutto doesn’t give you a chance to think before his mouth is back on your pussy again, the combination of sloppy kisses and practiced flicks of his tongue on your clit driving you crazy. He uses his arms to drag you forward so that your legs are over his shoulders while he works at you like a man starved – he uses his tongue to fuck your pussy as deep as he can, rutting against the bed for his own relief.

Prosciutto’s jaw is aching, but he refuses to stop – and how could he, when you looked so beautiful writhing above him? The heady scent of you combined with the divine taste had his cock leaking precum in his slacks. All he wanted to do was take his own cock out and fuck you until his name was the only thing you could remember, but he refused to do so without finishing his apology to you with his mouth. He feels your legs shaking around him and switches tactics, using his tongue and mouth on your clit, groaning when he feels your hands tug at his hair. He allows you to push him in just the right spot, his own body buzzing with pleasure as you use him.

You cry out and press yourself hard against Prosciutto as his tongue finally takes you over the peak that’d been building up in your body, your eyes clenching shut as your legs clamp around him, white hot pleasure coursing through your lower half. Your body feels like it’s floating as you come down, your legs and arms going limp with relief. Prosciutto lifts his head from your pussy, face glistening with your juices and a smirk plastered across his face. He gently eases himself out from below you and sits against the pillows resting against your headboard. He moves so that you can rest your head against your lap, Prosciutto gently brushing through your hair with his fingers.

“Prosciutto,” You murmur, your mind still hazy. “Let me take care of you.” He shakes his head from above you, giving your head a pat before he goes back to stroking your hair.

“Later, tesoro.” The pet name makes your stomach flutter, and you give him a lazy smile. He smiles back, the corners of his eyes crinkling. It’s the first genuine smile you’ve seen from him. You close your eyes, eventually falling asleep to Prosciutto’s soothing touches.

When you wake up, you’re covered in the comforter. There’s something warm wrapped around you – when you look over, you see Prosciutto snoozing away, his hair loose and spread around the pillow. You smile and settle back down, warmth flowing through your chest when Prosciutto cuddles closer to you in his sleep.

This time, you knew he would be there in the morning.

[babyjamiebarnes]

Build-A-Bear

Part Three

Featuring: Bucky x Stark!reader, dad!Tony, Pepper, Rhodey, Happy, Morgan, various characters in other chapters

Warnings: language, sexual innuendos and implications

Chapter Summary: Reader has dinner with her family and gets grilled even harder than her food. But she’s turned to a light simmer when Bucky takes her out for their first date.

Author’s Note: This chapter is fucking monstrous lol. I did not expect it to be this long so it might be a couple extra days before the next chapter so I can catch up! I’m also not sure if my Italian is accurate so I apologize in advance. I used to work for a man named Gennaro from Naples and he called me “bella” so hopefully I’m sort of right? If you like the story so far, feel free to buy me a coffee!

Part One • Part Two

Tags: @kennedywxlsh

Dinner that night was tense, to say the least. It was nice to have your dad, step-mom, sister, and uncles Happy and Rhodey over again, but your dad wasn’t quick to forget what he saw earlier.

“What was that with Barnes today?” Tony asked as you all sat around the dining room table in your midtown flat, poking away at the remnants of your meals.

“What do you mean?” you asked innocently.

Your dad just gave you an incredulous look. “You know what I mean.”

You sighed and avoided meeting his eyes. “I was just working on his arm, dad. I didn’t wanna make him lie down on a hard lab table while I poked around to do what you wanted and quiet his arm,” you explained.

“Wait, Barnes as in Bucky Barnes?” Uncle Rhodey clarified.

“Yeah,” your dad confirmed, not taking his eyes off of you. “I found her kneeling between his legs while he sat shirtless on the couch.”

“You’re sleeping with Bucky?!” Rhodey asked.

“I’m not sleeping with anyone!” you defended, dropping your fork onto your plate. “I’ve known him for a month.”

“That’s never stopped your father,” Pepper mumbled under her breath, making you huff out a laugh despite your current grilling.

“Listen, when I said ‘no fraternizing with coworkers,’ I meant it,” your dad said.

“Please stop saying ‘fraternizing.’ It’s weird.”

Tony sighed and crossed his arms. “No ‘slumber parties’ with coworkers,” he rephrased.

This made Morgan perk up in her seat, having spent the past couple minutes confusedly watching you and your dad bicker.

“Can we have a slumber party, [Y/N]?” she asked.

“Yes, honey, we can have a slumber party,” you responded.

“Tonight?” she continued.

At this, you pointedly looked at your dad and raised your eyebrows as a way of saying ‘are we done now?’ You could tell he didn’t want to end the conversation, but you were grateful for the sudden change of topic. Tony uncrossed his arms and leaned against the table as he replied to your sister.

“If your big sister says it’s okay, you can have a slumber party tonight.”

Morgan lit up like the Fourth of July, quickly listing off all the movies she wanted to watch even though you knew she’d fall asleep halfway through the first movie.

As your family packed up to leave, leaving Morgan since she had a drawer of clothes for the impromptu sleepovers you’ve had before, you calmed your racing heart before saying the words that would either make your father more suspicious or completely quash his suspicions.

“You’ll have to pick her up by four tomorrow. I have a date.”

All of the adults turned to face you. Pepper had a huge smile on her face, clearly excited for you, but your dad and Rhodey looked ready to fight. Happy looked curious, maybe even worried, but he played a big role in raising you so while Tony was the overprotective parent, Happy was the comforting parent (not that he’d ever let anyone know that).

“A date?” The tone of your dad’s voice made you roll your eyes at him.

“I’m a grown woman. I’m allowed to go on dates.”

Your dad let out a quiet harumph at that, but understood where you were coming from. “I know, sweetheart. Forgive me for being a bit overprotective of my little girl.”

“I get it. I appreciate your concern,” you said with a smile, “but this is good for me. You want grandkids eventually, right?”

“Oh god,” your dad groaned, pressing a hand to his chest. “I’m not old enough to be a grandpa but I’m old enough to have a heart attack at the mention of it.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re so dramatic.”

“So what’s this person’s name?” Pepper piped up. You visibly tensed and internally panicked. You couldn’t just admit it was Bucky after denying anything there. But his name was technically pretty common...

“His name is James.”

Rhodey snapped his fingers and pointed at you as he said, “I like him already.”

‘Yeah, sure you do,’ you thought. The sight of your dad narrowing his eyes at you and crossing his arms as he stood in the entryway of your apartment made you nervous. Maybe James wasn’t good enough to get him off your trail (probably because he was right).

“How did you meet this guy?” Tony asked.

If anyone else had asked, you would’ve said ‘work,’ but that’s the last place you could say to your dad — with whom you worked.

“Uhh, at the grocery store. We accidentally followed each other and got a lot of the same food so he jokingly accused me of stalking him and we just hit it off,” you rattled off. It’s a good thing he didn’t know how your friend Monique met her girlfriend or he’d know you were lying.

“That’s so cute,” Pepper cooed. She was definitely the more relaxed of your parents, possibly because she wasn’t your biological mom. She had been raising you since you were ten though, so she played a big part in your upbringing.

“Text me his last name so I can run a background check,” your dad said. You’d love to think he was joking, but you knew he was serious.

And as much as you knew you’d regret it, you had to make a joke…

“His last name is Barnes,” you said, keeping your face as serious as possible. “James Barnes. I actually know his middle name too: Buchanan.”

“[Y/N] [Y/M/N] [Y/L/N], you better be joking right now,” Tony said. He was already getting red in the face, clearly unenthused at the prospect of you dating the man who, admittedly, killed his parents — your grandparents. Yeah, understandable.

“I’m obviously kidding,” you said, forcing a laugh. “It’s just funny that they have the same first name and you’re so anti-Bucky.”

“You’re gonna send me to an early grave,” he muttered. “I’m going home before I actually have a heart attack.”

You said your goodbyes and ‘I love you’s before you and Morgan put on your pajamas and set up a pillow fort in the middle of your living room to watch her favorite sleepover movie: “Shrek.”

As the movie went on, you leaned back in the fort to take a photo of Morgan with the movie in the background. Well, the back of Morgan’s head as she was engrossed in the movie she’d seen a million times.

[Image attached] She’s got her teddy bear but where’s my Bucky Bear? 🥺

Across the city, Bucky’s phone buzzed from its spot on the kitchen counter as he made himself a late dinner. He didn’t recognize the number, but smiled when he saw the picture of who he assumed was your sister or niece.

I never got an invite. Looks like more fun than my night.

You smiled to yourself when you saw his reply, rolling your eyes at the lack of exclamation points and emojis. Typical man.

What does your night look like?

Eating a late dinner and talking to you.

Talking to me isn’t fun?! I’m hurt 😢

Not as fun as actually being with you.

Even though he wasn’t there and didn’t say it verbally, you could feel your cheeks get hot at his words.

There’s no way sweet talk like that didn’t get you in more than four beds.

You’re still on that? I swear doll, I have the same number as you.

Whatever you say! 🙄

There was a lull in conversation after that, giving you time to move your sister to lie on her back with pillows and blankets in the fort so she could sleep more comfortably.

Are we still going out tomorrow?

You let the next Shrek movie start automatically, but you didn’t pay any attention as you texted Bucky.

I’m still down if you are 👀

You sent him your address and let him know you’d wait on the front steps for him so he didn’t have to come all the way up. With the exchange of ‘good night’ messages, you drifted asleep to the sounds of Shrek 2.

•

The next morning, you somehow managed to wake up before your sister, then brought her back to the land of the living with the smell of French toast.

You spent your day watching another movie with Morgan before fixing lunch and taking her to a park down the road. Morgan’s childhood was definitely different from yours. Happy was the one who took you to parks and shopping, but Tony parented at home. Morgan would have the same early experiences, but the world knew Tony and Pepper had a daughter. They kept her identity hidden for now, waiting until she could decide if she wanted to reveal herself later in life. The world never knew about you.

And you had to be somewhat grateful for that. You still got all the perks of being a Stark — the money, the Tower, meeting the Avengers (and having James Rhodes as your godfather) — without the stress of fame. But part of you still wished you could talk about your father without keeping his occupation vague and referring to him as “Anthony” when telling stories instead of Tony.

Morgan also got to know her mom. You only spent the first seven years of your life with your mom before she was killed in a drive-by shooting. The police investigated it like crazy because everyone thought since it was Tony Stark’s wife, it had to be a targeted hit. But since she never took the same jogging route twice, all they came up with was an unplanned drive-by. You cherished the memories you had with her, but still openly welcomed Pepper when she came into the picture. She may not have played the same type of role in your life, but she helped shape your middle and high school years.

By the time you and Morgan got back to your place, she was exhausted, climbing back into the still-intact blanket fort to take a nap. When your dad and Pepper stopped by to pick her up, she was still knocked out.

“We’ll get out of your hair so you can get ready for your date,” your dad said with Morgan in his arms. “Send me this James guy’s last name. I still want to run a background check.”

“Dad,” you grumbled. “I already did my research. He’s clear.” Kind of. He technically has murdered hundreds of people, including your grandparents, but he’s reformed and fighting for the good guys now. Not that your dad would let it slide if you told him that.

“That’s my girl,” he grinned. “Let me know if you need to hide any bodies, okay?”

“You got it,” you said with a laugh as they headed out. You had two hours to get ready for Bucky, giving you plenty of time to look extra cute.

By the time six rolled around, you were all dolled up and ready to go. The autumn weather had you in a jacket and boots, but that just pulled your outfit together.

Your doorman Matt was standing inside the lobby when you ran downstairs, tossing him a small wave as you left.

“Have a good night, Miss [Y/L/N],” he said with a nod.

“See you later, Matt!”

You stood at the bottom of your building’s front steps, checking your phone and looking up and down the block for Bucky. It was six on the dot, so you figured he’d be there soon.

“Hey!” You looked up from your phone to see Bucky jogging toward you, a black leather jacket covering his arms and a black glove hiding his left hand. “Sorry I’m late. I couldn’t get away from Sam. Had to tell him I was gonna check out my old stomping grounds in Brooklyn.”

“You’re, like, 30 seconds late. I’m just glad you’re here,” you said with a smile. “So what are we doing tonight?”

Bucky’s smile faltered as he looked down at you. Your boots gave you a bit of a height bump, but Bucky still stood taller than you.

“I, uh, I kinda thought you had something planned,” he said softly.

“Oh, oops,” you laughed. “Well… what about those Brooklyn stomping grounds of yours? Care to show me around?”

Bucky lit up at the recommendation and started leading the way to the nearest subway stop. Before you started down the stairs, he paused and turned to you with a sour expression.

“I probably should’ve asked if you’d rather get a cab,” he said.

“Bucky, I take the subway to work every day. It’s fine.”

“Why do you take the train? You don’t live too far away.” You two made your way down the steps to the bustling station.

“It’s just easier. Less work for me,” you explained. “I didn’t take the train much as a kid so I like taking the opportunity now that I can.”

“Most people don’t willingly take the subway,” he laughed. “Steve and I always used to talk about how we’d be rich enough to have a car someday. But now that I could get any car I wanted, I don’t think I want one. I like the subway.”

“Even though it’s smelly and dirty?” you joked.

“Yeah,” he laughed. “It’s one of the things that still reminds me of home.”

The gentleness in his voice nearly brought you to tears. This man had been through so much and was still the sweetest soul you’d ever met. Forced into a war he didn’t want to join, experimented on, tortured and brainwashed, hunted by every government in the world, captured, frozen, and forced into another war and more battles he shouldn’t have to join. He just couldn’t catch a break.

“Well I’m excited to see what else reminds you of home,” you replied.

The trains to and through Brooklyn were relatively busy so you and Bucky couldn’t really talk much, but it was a Saturday night so you couldn’t blame people for getting out. It was tough to find seats, but Bucky was willing to stand to make sure you could have a seat. Ever the gentleman.

When you made it to Bucky’s Brooklyn stop of choice, he started telling you more stories from the ‘40s, like when Steve couldn’t get off the train in time and accidentally went down another stop so Bucky ran to the next stop and found Steve heading his way anyway. And how he and Steve followed his sister Rebecca on a date “to watch out for her,” he said, and her date thought they were stalking her and tried to beat them up. And all the fights he pulled Steve out of.

“Punk was a chihuahua who thought he was a Rottweiler.”

For a while, you two walked around the streets of Brooklyn just telling each other stories. You were careful about names you used, often just calling Happy “Uncle Harry” and Rhodey “Uncle James.”

Bucky showed you the movie theater he and Steve used to go to, which was surprisingly still in business. You walked past what used to be a diner Bucky frequented but was converted into a bridal shop.

“This used to be a magic store Steve loved,” he said, looking up at the bank on the corner of the street. “Things have changed a lot.”

You heard the nostalgia in his voice, clearly missing the New York he grew up to love. He had a soft smile on his lips as he reminisced, though.

“What about where you lived?” you asked. “Do you remember where that is?”

“Oh yeah,” he chuckled. “I could never forget that.”

Everything was within a fifteen minute walk of where you got off the subway so even though your feet were getting tired, you followed alongside Bucky as he led the way up and down the streets. Before too long, you strode up to a large brick building that had clearly been remodeled recently, if the fresh windows and front doors were any indication.

“It’s… a lot nicer than when I lived here,” Bucky said with a sigh. “But it’s been nearly 100 years so I can’t blame them for updating things.”

“Brooklyn is kind of booming now, too,” you added. “More people to appeal to, ya know?”

You stared up at him again, seeing that same lost look as before, like he wished to turn back time and show you the Brooklyn he knew. So you decided since he couldn’t do that, you’d show him the Brooklyn you knew.

“Come here. My turn to show you around,” you said, holding your hand out to him. He gave you a small smile before grabbing your hand in his and letting you pull him back to the subway.

Ten minutes later, you hopped off the train with Bucky in tow and headed to the little Italian restaurant you found while exploring the city a couple years before. It wasn’t anything elaborate; it was honestly more of a little hole-in-the-wall, but you liked the quiet atmosphere.

��Bella!” the owner shouted as you walked in.

“Hey Genny,” you smiled at him.

“Who’s this?” he asked as he approached you, raising his eyebrows when he saw Bucky.

“This is James,” you said. You opted against using his more common nickname to avoid any recognition.

“James, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Gennaro, but you can call me Genny. Welcome to my restaurant.” The two men shook hands before Genny ushered you two to a table and handed you menus. “Would you like to start with focaccia?”

“Yes please!”

“Con formaggi?”

“Si! Grazie!”

Gennaro left you and Bucky while he started your appetizer.

“You speak Italian?” Bucky asked.

“Definitely not,” you laughed. “I’ve just been coming here for a while and have picked up on some things Genny says. Like ‘bella’ means ‘beautiful,’ this pizza,” you pointed to your favorite pizza on the menu, “‘cinque formaggi’ means ‘five cheese.’ But I could never hold a conversation.”

“Un peccato,” Bucky sighed before flashing a smile at you.

“You speak Italian?!” you nearly shrieked. “No way! Don’t talk shit with Gennaro behind my back.” You pouted at Bucky, but knew he wouldn’t say anything bad about you. Maybe an embarrassing moment or two — like your dad walking in on you between his knees — but nothing negative.

“I picked it up pretty quickly back in the day,” Bucky explained. “Before I was sent to Germany, I was stationed in a small town in Italy for a while. The locals didn’t mind having us there because we kept the Nazis out, so they taught us some Italian when we were in town.”

“Maybe I should take Gennaro up on his offer to learn Italian,” you mused.

“Or you could learn from me,” Bucky was quick to offer. “I’ll teach you some stuff when you’re working on my arm.”

Your server arrived with the focaccia and water for both of you, before giving you more time to actually look at the menus instead of talking. You decided to split a bottle of red wine and two pizzas, one of your choice and one of Bucky’s. As the night went on, you and Bucky both opened up to each other even more than before. You could easily blame the buzz from a couple glasses of wine, but Bucky’s super soldier serum made you confused. His cheeks were flushed and he had more than half the bottle, so you wondered if maybe...

“Can you still get drunk?”

“Unlike Steve, yes. It takes more than this,” he said, lifting the nearly empty bottle of wine, “but since Steve and I received different serums, they work a little differently. I can definitely get drunk. Marijuana admittedly hits harder.”

You paused as you stared back at him, his elbows perched on the table and his clasped hands propped under his chin.

“Are you drunk now?”

“No,” he laughed quietly. “A little tipsy, sure, but not drunk by a long shot.”

You narrowed your eyes at him playfully, reluctantly accepting that he was just as buzzed as you but not quite drunk.

Before long, your server brought over your tab and you realized how empty the restaurant had gotten. Then you noticed the broom and mop the server had brought out to the floor, then the dark ‘open’ sign, and finally the clock on the wall.

“You closed 20 minutes ago and didn’t kick us out?” you shouted at Gennaro. “Genny, you can always kick me out! I feel bad!”

Gennaro walked over to your table as you scrambled for your wallet and handed the server your card to run.

“I can’t kick you out, bella. You and your moroso are welcome any time.”

“I think this poor girl would beg to differ,” you said as the server handed your card and signature slip back. She just laughed at your comment, agreeing without saying it outright.

You left a hefty tip and hugged Genny before you and Bucky, both still a bit tipsy, shuffled outside.

“Thanks for buying dinner,” Bucky said. “This means I get to pay next time, though.”

He said it so casually and you already planned on another date, but it still kind of caught you off guard.

“Next time?” You smiled up at him and took a step closer until you were almost toe-to-toe. “There’s gonna be a ‘next time’?”

“I sure hope there is,” he said quietly, his smirk sending a rush up your spine.

“If you insist,” you sighed. He knew better than to believe you weren’t excited for your future plans. “I’m cold. Care to get an Uber with me?”

He gently grabbed your shoulders and spun you around, pulling the loose opening of his jacket over your arms and wrapping his arms around you to help keep you warm.

“Well, yeah. I need to make sure you get home safe so ‘next time’ can happen,” Bucky said as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck.

“You know, I don’t usually let men spoon me on the first date,” you joked as you tapped away to order an Uber.

“I can stop, if you want,” he teased.

You gripped his arm as he started to pull away. “I never said that.”

Bucky rode back to your place with you, keeping conversation casual as you both avoided the controversy you were about to face: to kiss on the first date or not. You never really had any issues with it before, but you already really liked Bucky. You didn’t want to risk messing it up by moving too fast. But what grown man would think a kiss on a first date was too fast? Well… maybe one born in the early 1900s…

Before your thoughts could throw you into a downward spiral, the driver pulled up outside your apartment complex. Bucky stepped out first and held the door open for you to scoot out after him. As you stood at the bottom of the stairs to your building, you felt those nerves creeping up on you again. God, you hadn’t felt this nervous about a date since high school.

“I had fun tonight,” Bucky said first, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Me too,” you smiled back. “I’m excited for what you plan for next time.”

Bucky laughed at this, the crinkle of his nose making your own smile grow. God, you wanted to invite him inside already. In your defense, you’ve known him for a full month and spent even longer getting heart-eyes over him in college.

But you reined in your hormones and just took a step closer to him to rest your hands on his chest. His right hand came up to rest on your waist, but he kept the metal hand in his pocket. With your hand placement, you could feel the thrum of his heartbeat and judging by the pace, you knew you were both on the same page. As you were trying to shove your nerves aside, Bucky asked the one question you were hoping for.

“Can I kiss you?”

Knowing he wanted this as much as you did relieved some of your nerves, but also made the moment that much more real. You smiled up at him and nodded your head.

“Yes, please do.”

You perched up on your toes to meet him halfway, letting his lips mold to yours. His hold on your waist tightened as he pulled you closer; you gripped the lapel of his jacket in your fists. Suddenly the cold of the night no longer existed. All you could feel was the warmth radiating off of him as he held you close. He pulled back for a second before diving right back in, this time nipping at your bottom lip. You giggled against him, but didn’t stop him from taking the innocent kiss a step further. Your hands slid from his chest to the nape of his neck before tangling into his long hair. The vibration from his moan as you tugged on his hair ran straight down your spine, making it even harder to leave the date alone.

Reluctantly, you both pulled apart just enough for your noses to brush against each other, the stubble of his beard still tickling your nose. You opened your eyes enough to see the smile on his lips as he pulled back a bit more to see your face.

“I’ll see you Monday?” you said quietly, as if speaking any louder would break you two out of your bubble.

“See you Monday, [Y/N],” Bucky replied just as quietly. His hand slipped from your waist as you backed away, biting your lip at him before you turned and scurried up the steps. Bucky stood on the sidewalk until he could see the light in your apartment flick on, just to make sure you were safe.

[therealvinelle]

I really love your meta series! Especially the "would they want to actually be human" posts. ❤️

I know you already wrote Edward might get changed back but miss his powers (and Midnight Sun really showed how much he relies on his mind reading powers especially) but could you please write a longer analysis on the topic? And would he want Bella and Renesmee to change with him?

Thank you! That’s seriously great to hear, I thought for sure this blog would just be me screaming into the void when I started it a week ago. Now I’m getting asks. I have whiplash.

Yours is the million dollar question and I’m so glad someone asked. So glad that it took me a whole day panicking as I had no idea where to even begin, sorry about the delay.

So, you ask for a longer analysis. And a long analysis you shall get.

First of, Edward’s attitude towards being a vampire.

It’s no secret that Edward hates being what he is, but Midnight Sun went a long ways towards showing just how deeply Edward’s hatred of everything vampiric runs. It’s no secret from Bella’s point of view either, but it was a shock to read Midnight Sun and see just how much of his time Edward spends hating his own nature. He’s cold, stone-like, too sharp, dead- he even likens himself to a gargoyle. The sunlight is the worst thing in the world to him, because when he sparkles there’s no denying what he is.

His resentment of all things vampiric is not limited to himself.

When he first saw Carlisle in the sun, he was horrified and by the sounds of it had an actual panic attack that Carlisle had to talk him down from. Carlisle, by contrast, supposedly Mr. Angst (I don’t think he’s Mr. Angst at all, but that’s for another rant) thought nothing of this and appeared to be caught utterly off guard that Edward would react in such a way.

When he talks with Esme about Bella, he looks at her hands and, true to form, gets weird about it: “I stared at her hands, so much like mine, but not. I couldn’t hate them the same way. They were stone, too, but not… not a monster’s hands. They were a mother’s hands, kind and gentle.” What I get from this excerpt is that he defaults to being repulsed by vampires, but Esme is so maternal, so loved and adored by Edward, that she is an exception. Makes you wonder what he’d see if he looked at Rosalie’s hands, doesn’t it?

Then look at the things he cherishes about Bella. It’s her warmth, her smell, her fragility. When he dreads her becoming a vampire, the words “hard and cold” appear over and over again. Hardly the priority of someone who would love to have her forever, but refuses because he cares so much about her soul, is it?

Edward’s hesitance to turning Bella is the most telling thing of all.

In New Moon, Aro learned of Bella’s existence. He was understanding enough to let the Cullens take care of things on their own, but as of that moment Bella’s number was truly up, and not in a romantic “Edward is her destiny!” kind of way but in the very real “The Volturi will kill her and execute the Cullens” kind of way. Edward knows this. Edward still gaslights her that this didn’t happen and the Volturi are not a factor, throws a tantrum after the family vote, spends all of Eclipse and the first part of Breaking Dawn trying to talk Bella out of turning, then when she gets knocked up he tries to forcibly abort her so she can stay human. He only turns her when she’s technically dead, and even then part of me is surprised he didn’t go full Monty Python, “’tis but a flesh wound!” on us.

Bella being a vampire is Edward’s worst case scenario, and he either would sooner have let his family get killed by the Volturi or is too delusional to realize this is what would have happened. Neither is a good option.

In other words, yes, Edward would have made Bella turn back in a heartbeat, and Renesmée as well because being human is inherently superior. He’d restore Carlisle and Esme too if he had the opportunity, I think the thought of those two being freed from vampirism would be the most beautiful thing in the world to Edward. The whole family, really, with Edward casting himself in the light of glorious liberator who saved them all.

(And it would be a massive shitshow.)

The interesting thing is, I think Edward would keep putting it off turning back himself. Someone has to watch over this family, or so the excuse would go. I think for all his resentment of what he is, he enjoys wallowing misery too much to ever actually turn his back on it. And it’d be such a romantic sacrifice too. He could have it all, but he’s choosing to remain in the shadows so he can keep his Bella and the others safe from all harm. He’d cast himself in the light of dark guardian angel, and watch over his loved ones, becoming their uncle Luca. Question is, would he kill himself once the last of the OG Cullens was dead, or would he go full Luca and continue watching over their descendants?

[madpanda75]

“Taking Chances Part 11: The Call”

We’re picking up right where we left off with Theo barging into the gallery to surprise the reader. We also find out who that special someone is that Sonny has his eye 👀

Thanks to everyone for their comments and feedback on this series! It means the world to me ❤️Also a huge thanks to @sass-and-suspenders for being my writing buddy and giving me the idea for the title. 

Trigger Warning: This chapter contains an assault scene and mention of rape.

“Theo, how did you get in?” you sputtered. “You shouldn’t be here! We’re closed.”

Theo scoffed, “Please, that ditzy coworker of yours always forgets to lock the door when she leaves.” He milled around the tiny studio, picking up a handcrafted ceramic vase. “And besides you never cared before.” He set the vase down and winked. 

You could tell that he was drunk. Apart from his disheveled appearance, the aroma of cheap whiskey radiated off his body and hit you like a brick wall. But there was something more, his presence filled you with a sense of foreboding. Nevertheless, you swallowed down your fear and held your ground. “That was then, this is now,” you sneered.

“Why can’t you forgive me? I made a mistake. I’m--”

“You broke us!” you interrupted. “My brother may have invited you to lunch, but I thought I made myself clear when we broke up that I never wanted to see you again.”

Theo’s face hardened. “It’s that older guy, isn’t it?” He looked you over from head to toe, like a predator studying its prey before it attacks. “Never took ya’ for a gold digger, but maybe being a starving artist all these years has made ya’ hard up for cash.” 

“Rafael is twice the man you’ll ever be,” you snarled.

“You sure about that? Ya’ know you and I had some hot times together.” He arched a brow and crudely licked his lips. “Can’t deny there was some definite sexual chemistry between us.”

As he stalked towards you closer and closer, you stepped back, blindly bumping into chairs and easels until you were pushed up against the wall. You were trapped. A chill rippled down your spine and your mouth went dry, panic rising in your throat.

Theo grabbed your wrist and yanked you closer to him. The acrid smell of alcohol combined with his cologne stung your nostrils. “Let go of me.” You struggled to free yourself from Theo’s grasp, but he only tightened his hold on you.

“Don’t be like that,” he cooed in a teasing manner. “How about a kiss for old times sake?” As he leaned in closer with his lips pursed, you finally wrenched free and slapped him hard. Your hand throbbed in pain. Between Theo and Sonny, you were getting tired of smacking people for disrespecting you.

Theo cruelly laughed, completely unphased by your attack. “You stupid bitch,” he growled and backhanded you across the face. The force of his slap caused you to stumble a few steps and run into a nearby table. 

In an instant, he was on top of you with a wild look in his eye. “I always get what I want,” he snarled. Theo hiked up your skirt with one hand while undoing his pants with the other. Bottles of paint toppled over in your struggle, saturating your clothes and the floor. Colors swirling together--angry reds, moody blues until they combined to a murky brown.

All of your self defense classes. All of the lectures your brother gave you about defending yourself-- hammer strike, heel palm strike. It all left your mind in that frantic, terrifying moment. Nevertheless, you fought back as hard you could, clumsily kicking and screaming. 

Luckily, your foot had fantastic aim and connected straight with his groin. Hard. Theo howled in pain and grabbed his crotch, giving you a chance to escape. You scrambled out from under him and collided into Phoebe who had just come back from the coffee shop when she heard you screaming. Coffee and pastries spilled onto the floor. 

Upon seeing your coworker, Theo pushed past you both and ran out of the gallery. But you could care less, you just clung to Phoebe, trembling. “Y/N? What happened? Are you alright?” 

You couldn’t speak. You could hardly catch your breath, on the brink of becoming hysterical. Phoebe took your hand and led you to a nearby chair. “I’m calling 911.” She reached into her purse for her phone when she stopped. “Do you want me to call your brother?”

“No!” you said in a panic. “Can you call his partner instead?” You gave Phoebe Rollins’ cell number. “Please tell her not to tell Sonny.” She nodded and dialed the number. 

While your coworker talked to Amanda, you stood up and walked around the studio. Paints, brushes, easels all covered the floor. And then you saw it. The painting you had been working on for Rafael, in a crumpled head, completely destroyed. Just like everything else in the room. In a matter of minutes, your sanctuary had become a crime scene.

*****

Sonny scaled the steps of One Hogan Place, balancing two cups of coffee in his hands. He took his familiar route, mumbling to himself. Passerbys assumed he was on bluetooth, but in reality he was deep in concentration, trying to come up with the perfect opening line. Unfortunately, the only thing he could come up with was “Hi.” 

After the disastrous lunch on Sunday, Sonny couldn’t stop thinking about what Bella had said. Maybe it was time to let go and take a chance. To put himself out there. As much as he hated to admit, you were happy with Barba. Maybe it was time for him to find his own happiness. 

He stood in front of Barba’s office door, taking a moment to collect himself. His heart hammered in his chest. His palms were clammy. Although he had been to Barba’s office countless times, this time was for a completely different reason.

From the moment Sonny met Carmen, he was hooked. She was beautiful, smart, and unbelievably kind. Not to mention, she knew how to handle Barba. She made him feel at ease. 

He never forgot when SVU had lost a big case, a rapist had been set free on a technicality. The squad and Barba had just broken the news to the survivor. She was only 14 and yet she had lived a lifetime. He would never forget the look on her face. In a way he felt completely responsible. If he had just tried harder, then they would have caught this monster.

That day Sonny was the last one to leave Barba’s office, feeling completely dejected. He thought of his sisters and his mother and how easily any of you could be a victim. He wondered if he was even cut out for this job. How many rapists would be set free during his career? How many victims would he have to disappoint? 

It was then that Carmen approached him. “Hang in there.” She patted him on the shoulder and gave him a warm smile. “They need you, Sonny. You’re one of the good guys.” In that moment, Carmen made Sonny feel safe and comforted. Something he hadn’t felt in a very long time. 

Now all he had to do was work up the nerve to ask her out on a date. “It’s now or never, Carisi,” he thought before opening the door. There she was. The woman of his dreams, sitting at her desk, furiously typing and completely oblivious to the fact that Sonny was right in front of her. 

After several seconds, he cleared his throat and shouted, “Hey you!” Carmen jumped a mile high. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare ya’.” Being a ball of nervous energy, it was not his intention to scream at the poor woman. 

“It’s ok. I wasn’t paying attention.” Sonny nodded and rocked back on his heels, awkwardly standing in front of her. “Um, Mr. Barba is free, if you’d like to see him.”

“Actually. I’m here for you.” He handed over one of the cups of coffee in his hand. “Here.”

“Thanks.” Carmen graciously accepted the cup and took a sip. “I’ve been so busy working on these briefs that I haven’t had a chance to get any.”

Sonny beamed and began taking out of his pockets handfuls of assorted coffee creamers and sugar packets. “I...uh...I didn’t know how ya’ took your coffee so I got ya’ half n half, hazelnut, vanilla, soy milk, almond milk. I got sweet n’ low, regular sugar, sugar in the--”

“Thank you,” Carmen politely interrupted him and pushed all of the creamers and sugars now littering her desk off to the side. “That’s very sweet.”

Sonny turned beet red and took a sip of his coffee. Having been out of the dating game for so long, he was definitely rusty at this. “So...uh...I was just wonderin’ if maybe sometime--”

Just then Rafael burst out of his office. “Carmen, something’s come up and I have to leave. Please hold my calls and cancel all my meetings for today.” Before she could even reply, he brusquely walked past, bumping into Sonny and causing him to spill his coffee. Rafael shot daggers at him. 

Sonny furrowed his brow in confusion, watching Rafael walk out the door. Although Rafael had certainly glared at him before, this time was different. If looks could kill, Sonny would be dead on the floor. “Wonder what that was about?” he mused.

Carmen shook her head. “Don’t know. But it must be bad. I hope everything’s ok.” She then noticed the spilled coffee on Sonny’s shirt and opened her drawer, pulling out a stain removing pen for clothes. “May I?”  She walked over to Sonny and began to clean the coffee stain before it began to set. 

Being that close to Carmen, Sonny felt weak in the knees. He lost himself in her warm brown eyes and the honeyed sweet scent of her orange blossom perfume. “Thanks,” he managed to squeak out.

“It’s no problem,” she said with a shy smile. “With the amount of coffee Mr. Barba drinks, I keep a stash of these at my desk. Just in case of an emergency.” 

“So like I was saying earlier, I thought if you were free sometime that maybe you’d like to--”

Suddenly, a loud ring coming from his coat pocket cut him off. The universe was not working in his favor today. He pulled his phone out and saw Bella’s name flash across his screen. “Excuse me,” he told Carmen before answering the phone. “Hey Bella. Can I call ya’ back?” 

Bella let out a sob in response and Sonny felt his stomach drop. “Bella? What’s wrong?”

“Sonny,” she managed to say through her tears. “You need to get to the precinct. Now. Something’s happened with Y/N.”

Tag List:

@glimmerglittergirl @southern-magnolia @sweetcannolicarisi @delia26 @obfuscateyummy @sass-and-suspenders @eclecticminded @thatesqcrush @katmstanton @amirightcounsellor @beltzboys2015-blog @letty-o @sonnysdoll @lyssa1385 @sweetsummertime99 @burningsorr0ws @gibbs274 @izzythefanfreak @babypink224221 @livxrafa @esparza-army @obsessionprofessional @ottosuricato @mgarner1227 @dreila03 @frenchiefoxy @tropes-and-tales @thecraziestcrayon @goodluckfindingone @scarletsoldierrr @youreverycolor @yeah-boiiiiiiiiiii @imjustreallynosy @graniairish @ashley-chi @lolacolaempath @cocomel0613 @imagine-all-the-imagines @mysterioustrashadventures @that-girl-named-alex @scapricciatello @mrsrafaelbarba @zizzlekwum @katierpblogg @crowleysqueenofhell @caked-crusader​ @garturbo @rachelxwayne @averyhotchner @sarcastically-defensive17 @permanentlydizzy @beccabarba @infiniteoddball

[arhvste]

next stop iwa-chan!

playlist : just the two of us 

iwaizumi gently gripped y/n’s hand as he pulled her through the dark halls of aoba johsai, his old high school. everything felt so surreal, the usually busy halls and bright sunlight that would cast through the big windows, reduced to nothing more than empty space left to be filled with the soft laughter and footsteps of the pair.

he wasn't sure what had struck him to take the girl on a spontaneous 2 hour train journey from tokyo to miyagi but he did it anyway. there was something about y/n that made him want to get to know her as much as he possibly could. 

unsure of whether he was fully ready to commit to a relationship just yet, he wanted to take the girl he’d been talking to continuously back to where most of his memories were made. if he wanted to even begin to open up to her, he wanted to take her back to the start where he’d grown into the man he’d become that way she’d be getting to know him too.

-

the pair laughed as iwaizumi pulled her along all the halls and showed her all the classrooms he’d had his classes in and some of the stories that came with them. y/n listened intently laughing along with him as she gripped his hand tighter as they wandered through the closed school.

“when i said rebellious i meant someone who doesn't always wait for the stop sign before crossing the road, someone who shows up to somewhere they’re meant to be 5 minutes late with no explanation, i didn't mean someone who’d take me all the way down to miyagi and risk us getting caught breaking into a school.”

iwaizumi looked back at her and grinned.

“you should've been more specific.”

the girl rolled her eyes and allowed him to pull her further through the halls until they reached a big gymnasium. luckily the door was unlocked so iwaizumi didn't have to force it open.

“shame, would've liked to see you put your arms to good use.” y/n hummed as she brushed passed him and wandered into the spacious gym.

the latter laughed and quietly shut the door behind him as he turned to switch one of the back wall lights on leaving the room not too dark but light enough so the pair could see what they were doing.

whoever had used the gym last was obviously lazy and hadn't bothered putting the equipment away properly as the former alba johsai student noticed the poles of a net sticking out the half closed equipment cupboard.

“shittykawa wouldn't allow things to be left like this.” he muttered to himself as he went to pull the net out as y/n followed to help.

the two hoisted the net up and set it up securely as iwaizumi returned back to the cupboard to retrieve a ball.

y/n raised an eyebrow at the boy as he approached her.

“so now what? are we competing because i’ll have you know i was a pretty good ace if i do say so myself.”

iwaizumi snickered as he stretched out his broad shoulders.

“yeah? i don't doubt that y/n, you had one of the top 4 spikers in the country as a friend and he probably taught you a thing or two.”

“taught me a thing or two? excuse you but if you were to ask him i’m sure he’d tell you that i was the one who’d stay behind with him and akaashi and help him with line shots.”

the boy let out a low whistle as he bounced the ball on the floor a few times to check it wasn't deflating in any way. 

“prove it.”

y/n pulled her hair back into a tight pony tail and playfully glared at him.

“oh i will.”

-

the two played for a good hour and fifteen minutes before deciding that they were going to need to leave soon so they best stop now. having cleaned the equipment up properly the two sat down on the floor for a short while. y/n checked her phone and saw that the next train would be at 3:45AM so they had 15 minutes to rest before having to leave the way they came if they wanted to get on that train.

“you’re not bad then.”

y/n scoffed and playfully hit iwaizumi’s shoulder as he laughed and sat up.

“sorry for dragging you along here, just felt like coming here.” he said softly as he gazed up at the high ceiling.

y/n hummed and smiled at him.

“it’s fine. i didn't specify how rebellious i like my men, you’re right, but you’re really the baddest of them all.”

“you ask and you get.”

y/n moved closer to iwaizumi as he looked down at her. although he’d only known the girl for a week and a bit, he felt like he’d known her forever. she’d been so open and easy to get along with it was almost like meeting her was just meant to be. iwaizumi knew it was too early to even think about having serious feelings but he still couldn't help but notice the butterflies that would set off whenever he was around her. she kept him on his toes and made him want more.

he sighed as he ran a hand through his short messy hair. 

“something on your mind?” y/n asked.

“just thinking about how in such a short time you’ve affected me.’

“falling for me already? at least take me out on another date first.” y/n teased as he turned to fully face him.

“nah not quite yet, don’t get me wrong you're moving up the ranks of approval from me and we’re only on our second date but i still wanna get to know you a little more, it’s just been a while since i’ve done anything like this so i’m still trying to get back used to it.” 

the girl tilted her head and looked into the boys pretty eyes.

“you mean you don't usually take girls on spontaneous breaking and entering dates?” 

iwaizumi smiled as he flicked her head softly.

“nah, never done it before. you got the special treatment.”

y/n snorted and shooed his hand away from her head. 

“what’s there to get used to then?”

thinking before answering, iwaizumi looked into the girls twinkling eyes and saw nothing but sincerity in them before he continued. 

“i don't know. feelings? relationships? that sort of thing. it’s been a while and wasn't really something i wanted to get back into after my last but i guess you live and you learn.” he shrugged as he stood up brushing off any dust as he offered his hand to y/n.

“i won't ask what happened but, we’ll take things as they come. you interest me and i want to know more about you. it’s been a while since my last relationship too so we can figure things out together but no matter how long things take, i hope you’ll be happy to at least feel more comfortable with the idea of getting used to this sort of thing with me.” 

still holding y/n’s hand tightly in his grip, iwaizumi pulled her into his chest as she brought his head down to press a soft kiss to the top of her head.

“i think maybe i’d like that y/n.” 

the two of them walked out hand in hand as they took a slow walk back to the trainstation to catch their 3:45 train. nothing said between them, the comfortable silence wrapped the pair in their own little world as they gently swayed their arms back and fourth with each step they took.

things were still fresh and new to the pair of them but together, iwaizumi felt like maybe y/n was the girl he’d want to learn and try again with in the future. he still couldn't say for sure, but after tonight he knew he had to see more of her. the reassurance she gave him made his heart warm.

the duo paid their train fare and stepped onto the carriage as y/n quietly yawned. 10 minutes into the train ride back and she’d drifted off into a gentle sleep. iwaizumi noticed her head angled at an uncomfortable position and softly readjusted her so she’d be leaning on his shoulder. the girl smiled in her sleep and leant in closer to iwaizumi’s surprise as he watched over her.

“you really are something else.”

-

next stop iwa-chan!

iwaizumi haijime x reader

masterlist

an - she’d probably deny it but y/n felt butterflies too

akaashi’s playgroup || two pretty setters and co

part 13 - rebellion

part 14 - learn together

part 15 - like u a little

PLEASE SEND AN ASK TO BE ADDED TO TAGLIST

taglist : @crushingonsuga @bloody-bella @totorosleaff @kageyamasbabygorl @cuddlyroger @hidden-otaku-stuff @vanilla-beanzz @macchiatoast @kac-chowsballs @anime-read-write-repeat @missalienqueen @bbkiyoomi @toaster-stick @nerdynstoned @otaku-fangirlse @the-third-wall @nekomateammanager @bokutoichigo @killlerqween @queen-of-the-trash-planet-tm @doggonudez @iwaizluv @angrylittlezizi @softmultistan @lifesciencesbois @itsmattsunshinehere @haikyus1mp @bringmelily @valrubiii @saturnfarie @oyaoyaoya-chan @ack-aashi @weebymaria @introvertatitsfinest @rd-crew @strawberryyymiaa @a-fucking-simp @chokomoko @iwachanswh0re

any tags crossed out means i’m unable to tag you, please check your settings and let me know if you’ve changed them so i can try and tag you again

[atths--twice]

Finding Light in the Dark

A call sends Mulder, Scully, and Faith on a road trip back to the house in Quonochontaug. Mulder is feeling somewhat nervous, but is determined to replace the pain of the past with happiness in the present.

This story is the next in the Year of Prompts. A friend on Twitter asked for a story where Mulder visits the house in Quonochontaug with Scully and Faith. I, of course, fell in love with that idea as I simply adore writing them as a happy family. I set out to have it be a Valentine's story as the story presented itself to me. It took *just* a day longer than planned, but I hope it was worth the wait. ❤️

January 26, 2021

Mulder hung up the phone and sighed with a slight frown. Putting it down, he walked to the laundry room where he could hear Scully humming as she folded clothes.

“So, uh…” he said, standing in the doorway. She looked at him and smiled with a nod. “I just had a call from the rental agency.” She frowned at him and then nodded in understanding.

“Is everything okay?” She picked up a flat sheet, handing him an end, and together they started to fold it.

“Well, Brian from the agency said that with the virus, they aren’t getting as many people staying at the house. No one is traveling, as you know, and they’re losing money.” He took the sheet from her and finished the folding. She nodded and crossed her arms as he set the sheet in the laundry basket.

“So…”

“So, they’re considering letting it go, which means it falls on me to make a decision. If I want to find another rental company or… if I should sell the house and be done with it.” She stared at him, sighing as she nodded slowly.

“Is that what you want to do?” she asked softly and he let out a deep breath.

“I don’t know. That house… honestly I forget that it’s still there most of the time. It’s been… Jesus, twenty years.” He shook his head and sighed. “I…”

“Hon,” she said, stepping toward him and touching his arm with a smile. “I know how you feel about that house. I don’t want you to think you have to go there. We can ask the agency what would be best and not ever have to go.”

“I appreciate that, but… I think I need to go check-“

“We. We need to go. I’m not letting you go there alone.” She held his arm and stared at him with another small smile. “Would leaving tomorrow morning be soon enough?” He smiled and cupped her cheek, his thumb rubbing softly across it.

“Let’s start thinking about a plan.”

________________

January 29th

He made phone calls to the rental agency, letting them know they would be coming up to check on the house and decide what they would do with it. Brian sounded relieved and said he would leave the key in the lock box, giving him the combination to open it.

A heaviness weighed upon him as they packed and readied for the trip. He tried not to let it show, but Scully‘s hand lightly grazing his back, arm, or waist let him know that she noticed. She never said anything, but her touch meant everything; his thoughts often far away.

They left the house at seven thirty, hoping Faith would sleep for most of the journey, and not become cranky sitting in her car seat for such a long period of time. Nearly seven hours was long for anyone, but especially for a two year old.

Once again, Grey was dropped off with Violet and Denis, along with the house keys so they could stop by and feed the fish while they were gone. Violet stood at the window, holding Grey and waving goodbye with her little paw, as Faith waved back and yelled goodbye.

She chatted with Bella who sat beside her, her head resting on the arm of the car seat. Faith patted her head and told Bella it was dark.

“See stars, Bell? It’s dark. See stars!” She pointed as she looked out the window, continuing to pet Bella’s head. Mulder smiled as he watched her in the rearview mirror, catching Scully’s eye as he looked back at the road. She smiled at him and he nodded as he drove down Henderson Road, heading toward the Parkway.

“Do you think we should stop at a hotel on the way? I don’t think we can just show up these days,” Scully said, reaching for her phone. “Halfway… that should put us about…” He saw she had opened her map app, looking intently at it, and he shook his head.

“We don’t need to stop. I can make it. Quonochontaug is only seven hours.”

“No. We can switch. No need for you to drive the whole way.” He nodded with a smile, knowing he would be the one driving the entire way. “I’m serious, Mulder.”

“Okay. But I’m good for now.”

“Hmm,” she hummed, Looking back at Faith, who was looking out the window, now holding her baby doll in her lap. “You okay, love?”

“Baby, mama. Baby seeping.” Mulder saw her touch the baby's eyes that opened and closed. “Shh. Baby seeping.”

“She’s sleeping? Okay then, we’ll be quiet.” She turned her head and smiled at him and he smiled back.

Within two hours, an audiobook playing quietly after Faith’s usual bedtime music, everyone in the car, save for Mulder, was sleeping deeply. He smiled as he glanced at them and then sighed as he looked back at the road. The navigation was set and the book playing, but he was no longer paying attention.

He was heading back to a house that held many memories, both good and bad, and now that they were physically on their way, he was lost in thoughts of the past; his childhood and the questions that had never been answered.

After his mother had died, he had been the one to handle her personal belongings and the selling of her house. She had left everything to him and one long weekend, he had gone up to clear it all out, readying it to be sold.

The house itself held very little personal items. Not many pictures and signs of the past. No, those were kept in the basement, almost as though they were something to hide and of which to be ashamed.

Saturday morning, after he had spent Friday going through the basement, sadness and anger causing tears at times, the doorbell had rung. Believing it to be the donation organization coming to pick up the agreed upon items, he had opened the door to find Scully.

She had smiled, a bag of donuts and two coffees in a carry out holder in her hands. He had been surprised, but opened the door to allow her to enter.

“I thought you could use some help,” she had said softly and he had nodded with a relieved sigh. She had smiled and after they had eaten, they had begun to work.

Then… he had decided it was time to deal with the house in Quonochontaug, something he had put off for years. No one had been in the house for a couple of years, him being the last one, and the reason was one he wished to forget. He had asked Scully to accompany him, no hesitation, knowing that house would be harder to face.

They had driven out together on a Thursday evening, planning to stay all weekend. It had been a long drive, spent mostly in silence. Halfway there, they had stopped to eat at a diner, the silence remaining, though her eyes had said a lot.

They arrived late, the house chilly. Looking around at the things still covered in plastic, the mess he had never completely cleared up, they had both sighed.

“It’s a lot, but…” she had said, a hand on his back as she walked further into the room. “We can be up early, get some breakfast, and then…”

“Yeah,” he had whispered.

They went to the bedrooms, Mulder insisting she take the master bedroom and he would take the smaller guest one. The rooms smelled musty, plastic covering the beds and other things.

“Uh, I don’t know about the state of the sheets. This place hasn’t been used in such a long time,” he had said, standing in the doorway and looking around the room she would be using.

“Blankets will be fine,” she had assured him and he nodded, going to the hall closet and taking out the equally musty smelling blankets, wishing he had thought to bring something better.

“I’m not sure the blankets are much better, in regards to smell anyway.”

“It’s fine, Mulder.” She had smiled and taken the blankets from him. “We’ve been in worse places than this.” He had nodded and she rubbed his arm. “Good night.”

“Good night,” he had whispered and walked to the guest room.

Dropping the blankets onto the bed, he had used the bathroom, shivering as he walked back to the bedroom. He had changed his clothes and gotten under the covers, sighing as he closed his eyes, too many thoughts in his head. Turning over, he had fallen asleep, his dreams dark and confusing.

In the morning, he had woken up early. Leaving Scully to sleep a little longer, he went to pick up the trailer he had rented and to get breakfast for both of them.

She had been awake when he returned, just coming out of the bedroom, yawning and stretching. She had smiled as she cleared the table and he set the food and coffee onto it.

After they had eaten and thrown out their trash, they looked around, deciding where to start.

“Before we do anything,” she had said and he looked at her. “I’ve been thinking. What if you didn’t sell this place?”

“I don’t want or need it,” he had answered.

“No, I know you don’t. But…” She had walked to the back door and opened it. “It’s beautiful here. The water right outside the door… it’s a perfect place to get away.”

“Scully-”

“You could rent it.” She had smiled at him and he looked around the house and back at her. “Fix it up a little for sure, but…” She had shrugged and he let out a sigh. “It’s just an idea.”

“Yeah,” he had said with a nod.

“Think about it,” she had said quietly, touching his arm.

They had worked methodically, moving from one room to the next, stopping a little after one to go out and get something to eat and stopping at the store to get something for a simple dinner.

Things that held memories, had been set to one side and then carried to the trailer. Pictures mostly, a few boxes of family items, a couple of lamps and one end table Mulder had “ruined” when he did not use a coaster for his glass of ice water.

“My mother would cluck her tongue and sigh every time she saw it. Never saying anything, but letting me know how I had messed up.”

“You’re still pretty bad about remembering,” she had teased and he chuckled softly in agreement. “How about I go make dinner and open that bottle of wine while you make a fire?” He had nodded and she went into the kitchen

He had cleaned out the fireplace, checking to make sure the flue was open, and then went to find some wood outside. It was not much, but enough for a small fire. He brought it inside, smelling garlic and onions, and his mouth watered.

As the fire began to build, she had walked into the room holding two plates of pasta tossed with garlic and parmesan cheese. She set it on the fireplace, rubbing his back as she walked back to the kitchen to get their glasses of wine. Kneeling down, she handed him his glass and set hers beside her plate.

“The fire feels nice. It’s surprisingly cold at night.”

“Not exactly a selling point for a vacation rental,” he had said, taking a sip of his wine.

“Not until you upgrade it a bit.” She had smiled at him and he nodded, but did not smile back. “You don’t want to do it?”

“I don’t want to think about it tonight.”

“Okay.”

“This is good,” he had said, taking a bite of the pasta. She smiled and ate her food as the fire crackled and warmed the room.

When their plates were empty, he had taken them into the kitchen and brought out the bottle of wine, refilling their glasses as they moved to the couch.

They had watched the fire, his head resting on the back of the couch, his fingers lightly caressing her shoulder. She looked at him and then she set her glass on the coffee table and turned to him. He had swallowed, setting his glass on the small table beside him.

She had leaned closer to him, a hand on his thigh. He cupped her cheek, her eyes closing as she sighed.

“Scully,” he had breathed. She opened her eyes and he shook his head slowly. “I…”

“Mulder,” she had whispered, moving until she was in his lap, her arms loose around his neck, fingers rubbing softly in his hair and down his neck. He held her waist, closing his eyes as her forehead rested against his, her breath smelling sweetly of wine.

“Scully… I… this-“

“I’m not asking or expecting anything from you,” she had whispered, kissing his temple as he sighed. Then his other temple, forehead, cheeks, and lips. Every kiss soft and tender.

He had kissed her back, his hands gripping her hips. Their kisses slow, their breath mingling, her tongue gently touching his, silently asking for permission.

He had pulled back, licking his lips, Breathing hard as their foreheads once more pressed together. Her fingers scratched softly at his neck as they sighed simultaneously.

“I’m sorry. I just… this house…”

“You don’t need to apologize,” she had whispered. “Not for anything.” He sighed again and she wrapped her arms around him, her face pressed into his neck. He held her tightly, his eyes closed, sighing with relief at her understanding.

She had pulled back, kissing him once more, before rising and taking their glasses into the kitchen. He sighed as he watched her go, hearing the water running as she washed the dishes. He scrubbed a hand down his face and stood to his feet.

Walking into the kitchen, he had rubbed her back and picked up a towel to dry the dishes, working together in silence. When the last plate was clean and had been put away, she bid him good night, rubbing his arm as she passed.

He had sighed as she left, walking back and sitting on the couch, staring at the slowly dying fire. As it went out, he had risen and used the bathroom before lying down in bed and staring into the darkness.

His door had opened quietly a few minutes later, the faint light from the living room lamp momentarily casting a soft flow across the bed. The door had closed and the room was once more dark.

The covers were lifted and the bed squeaked as Scully slid in beside him, snuggling close. He had let out a breath as he raised his arm and she lifted her head, lying on his shoulder and wrapping an arm around his waist. She brought her leg up, resting her knee against his thigh and side softly.

“Was your bed not warm enough?” he had teased quietly and she hummed.

“No, this bed is much warmer.” He had hummed out a quiet chuckle and they fell silent, their breathing the only sound in the room.

He had shifted, turning onto his side and pulling her close, their forehead’s touching as they had done on the couch.

“There are bad memories here. Broken ones. Ones I… I’m not sure are real,” he whispered and she hummed as she stroked his face, her hands warm. “But, there are also good ones. Ones of games and laughter. My mother singing. Parties and music. My father telling some story and all the men laughing. I had my first taste of hard alcohol here.”

“Really?” she had whispered with a soft laugh.

“Not on purpose,” he chuckled, hooking a leg over hers and breathing in her scent. “I had been running around and grabbed what I believed was my cup and took a big drink of what I thought was water, but what was actually vodka.

“Oh!” She had laughed, her head falling back and they looked at one another in the darkness. “What happened?”

“I was sure my throat would burn forever, my stomach on fire, and then I gagged and threw most of it up onto the grass. One of the men thumped me on the back and laughed. I was so embarrassed to throw up in front of them, but Jesus Christ, it was the only option.”

“Hmm,” she had hummed, moving closer, her lips at his throat. “How old were you?”

“Eleven, nearly twelve,” he had said, his fingers running softly up and down her back.

“Maybe that’s why you don’t like it much.”

“Hmm. Could be.” He thought back to that day, the way his head had spun as his mother led him inside, Samantha crying and holding his hand.

“So, does that go in the good memory column or the bad one?”

“I’ll consider it both.”

“Hmm.” Quiet again, she moved even closer, kissing his throat and then sighing.

“Good night,” she had whispered, and he nodded, closing his eyes and kissing the top of her head.

“Good night.”

He had slept soundly, waking up spooning her, his nose buried in her hair.

As they ate breakfast, he had looked around, thinking about the possibility of remodeling the house and renting it out as a vacation home.

“It would take a lot,” he had said out loud and she frowned at him. “If I was to remodel it. This place is good, but… what would they find once they started working on it?”

“What are you saying?”

“We… I own the land surrounding here. Would it be better to tear it down? Start over from scratch?”

“Good question for a developer.”

“Yeah.” He had smiled and she gripped his hand. “I think I’ll call some people, see what they have to say.”

“I think it’s a good idea. I like it here.” She had smiled and he nodded. “Wouldn’t mind coming back.”

“That could be arranged.” He had leaned forward and kissed her softly, holding her chin with his thumb and index finger.

“I’d like that,” she whispered, kissing him once again. “Maybe when it’s a bit warmer out.” He chuckled and nodded again.

All personal items packed inside the trailer and the rooms cleaned, they had packed up their bags, taking out the trash and setting it in the back of the trailer to drop at a nearby dumpster as they left.

They never did go out there again. Not together anyway. He had, on his own, to meet with developers who suggested ways to improve the house. Things were moved out and he saw the beginning of the remodel before he had disappeared and was gone for nearly a year.

When he had returned, he’d had more time on his hands. Only once had he seen the place completed before never coming back. Life taking over and stopping him… them from coming out there again.

He had left it in the capable hands of a rental agency, the money from it deposited into a separate checking account created by the gunmen, and transferred over to his primary account only when needed.

Scully hummed in her sleep and he blinked his eyes, shaking his head as though clearing away the past. The audiobook was chapters ahead and he made no effort to go back to what he remembered, deciding starting it over would probably be for the best.

“Oh.” She stretched and he glanced at her with a smile. “Oh… I fell asleep. I’m so sorry.” She reached over and patted his arm as she glanced back at Faith. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep… oh my god, it’s 11:30?! How long was I sleeping?”

“I really don’t know.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Just thinking.” He smiled at her and she reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“I’m okay. I do need to pee though and we’ll need gas soon.”

“Yeah, I need to pee too.”

A quick stop at a gas station, they took turns using the bathroom, letting Bella out to relieve herself. He got them each a coffee and restarted the audiobook as they drove away. This time they both paid attention, laughing and discussing the story quietly.

Soon, they exited the interstate and drove down the road toward the house. He felt nervous and calm simultaneously as they pulled up and parked in the driveway.

“Wow,” Scully said, staring at the house in the shine of the headlights. “It’s different. I like it. It’s not as dark.”

“Light is always better,” he agreed, turning off the car and smiling at her.

“Absolutely.”

“You stay here, I’ll go open the house and turn on the lights.”

“I could do it”.

“Nah, I got it.” He kissed her and got out, closing the door quietly. Using the flashlight on his phone, he found the lock box, punched in the code and took out the key to unlock the door.

Walking inside, he took a deep breath, happy that the house was different, the changes allowing for better memories to be created. He shivered in the chilly room, intent on turning on the heater when they were all inside. He turned on some lights and went back outside.

Nodding at Scully as he opened the back passenger door, he let Bella out, holding onto her leash as he opened the back of the car.

“I’ll set up Faith’s bed real quick and we can lay her down,” he said softly and she nodded.

“Sounds good.”

He grabbed the portable crib, and the bag with the sheets and blankets, bringing them and Bella inside. He set up the crib in the guestroom and quickly made the bed, setting Faith’s favorite stuffed animal, the grey alien with a pink belly, in the corner.

Heading back outside, he saw that Scully was taking Faith from the car seat, shushing her when she began to cry. They walked inside while he unloaded the rest of the luggage, bringing it all inside.

He put their bags in the master bedroom and went to the kitchen to unload the food they had brought for the morning. It was mostly stuff for Faith, not taking any chances of being caught out with no food. They planned to make a trip in the morning to stock up for a few days.

He could hear Faith fussing and crying as Scully sang to her, shushing her softly. Once he was done, he called out to Bella, taking her out to pee one more time, giving her a treat when they came back inside.

It was quiet and he smiled tiredly as he searched for the thermostat, setting the heater to seventy to see how that temperature felt. He heard it kick on as the toilet flushed and Scully came out to join him a moment later.

“I like the house very much. It’s the same, but with some changes. And it’s brighter and happier.”

“It is,” he agreed, looking around the white walls, the dark wood paneling gone.

Taking her hand, they walked through the house, looking at all the changes. Some even he had not seen, twenty years being a long time between visits.

The furniture was all done in soft grays and blues. The coffee and side tables were dark oak, with bookshelves that matched. Games and puzzles filled one and random books filled the other.

The kitchen cupboards were steel blue, the countertops done in white marble. Different sized bowls set upon them, one now full of bananas and apples. A white rectangular table with a bench and two chairs sat in the corner, a vase of fake flowers in the middle.

A small laundry room with a stackable washer and dryer and a counter to fold clothes, was just off the kitchen. The side door lead to the wraparound front porch, though they did not venture further than a quick glance.

The floors throughout the house were a light wood, with colorful rugs of grays and blues upon them. The room where Mulder had nearly broken beyond repair, was now a cozy sitting room. Large windows with sheer drapes faced the water which would let in beautiful sunlight in the morning. A dark wicker basket of toys sat beside a red bookcase with children’s books and pictures of the surrounding area sitting upon it.

She turned to him and smiled, which he attempted to return, but failed. She came close and hugged him, holding on tightly. He closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms around her, trying to block out memories of the past.

“It looks beautiful,” she said quietly, pulling back to look at him. “Much better than before.” He nodded and smiled slightly. Let’s go to bed. It’s late and you know our girl won’t be sleeping in.”

He nodded again and followed her to the bedroom, turning off the lights and locking the doors along the way. Bella was asleep on her bed and paid them no mind as they passed.

As he laid down, Scully’s head on his chest, he let out a deep breath. “No more,” he whispered, stroking her hair. “No more darkness.”

“No,” she whispered back. “No more.” He kissed her head and closed his eyes. “Good night, Mulder.”

“Good night, love.”

_________________________

January 31st

The fire crackled and Bella stretched, letting out a deep sigh. Mulder smiled as he watched her, the fire warm, and no doubt she was exhausted.

They had spent the majority of the day outside in the snow, the depth of it more than he could have imagined, the storm blowing in and taking them by surprise. Bella had jumped and dove into it, coming up covered in the powder, her tongue lolling out happily.

Faith had been a little more hesitant, unsure what to think of it. Bundled up in many layers to ward off the cold, she had tripped once, her hands landing in the snow. She had shook them, trying to get the snow off of her mittens, but to no avail.

Scully had laughed as she bent down beside her, helping her wipe them off. When she had looked at him, picking Faith up, her blue eyes shining with happiness, he had never felt more in love with her.

Even as he was happy to be there with them, his light in the darkness, he had been unable to completely stop thinking of the past. The house being different helped immensely, but there were still spots within it which held some pain.

One of them, the loft where he and Samantha had slept when they were younger, had been a space he specifically asked the developers to turn into something different, though he did not have an actual idea of what he wanted.

What they had done was better than he could have imagined.

A skylight had been added when they put in a new roof and the dark loft was now a cozy reading nook with natural light spilling in. A small television sat in the corner, a VCR and DVD player on the shelf of the stand it sat upon. A storage bench ran the length of the low wall, colorful pillows in blues, grays, and muted greens brightening the space further.

Toys, blankets, and movies were inside of the bench. Two light turquoise bean bag chairs sat atop a striped rug of greens, blue, and tan. The railing had been changed, and now included a thin piece of plexiglass, keeping the view clear, while creating a safe space from little arms, legs, or heads from becoming stuck.

He had brought Faith up there, playing with and reading to her. She had loved the beanbag chairs, climbing on them and then giggling as they moved with her. She had also loved looking down and waving at Scully, calling for her to look up at her. Bella whined as she watched them, wanting to join them so badly.

Sitting in the little loft, the sunlight coming in through the skylight, he had felt his sadness lifting. Faith smiling at him and her laughter helped to replace the pain of the past with the happiness in the present.

“She’s exhausted, isn’t she?” Scully said, pulling him from his thoughts. He looked up and saw her smiling at Bella. “I don’t think I have ever seen her so still.” She smiled at him and he chuckled with a nod.

“It was a busy day.”

“Yes, it was.” She turned her head and looked out the window as he did the same, smiling at the snowman family they had made, now covered in even more snow.

Three different sized snow people were wearing extra hats and scarves from each of them. Faith’s was her height and she stared at it from all sides before she hugged it, surprised by the coldness on her cheek when she did. She touched her cheek and looked at him, her brow furrowed.

“Snow is cold, my love,” he had said, bending beside her, touching his cheek to the snow person and then placing his cheek on Faith’s. She had pulled back and touched her cheek again as he laughed, kissing her cold nose.

“May I join you?” Scully asked and he looked at her, confused.

“Of course, why would you… oh.” He chuckled as she joined him in the overstuffed chair in which he was sitting, her head on his shoulder, an arm around his waist, her legs on top of his.

“So by join, you meant sit on my lap, not in the chair beside me?” he asked, his fingers in her hair.

“What would be the fun of that?” she asked, letting out a deep sigh. He chuckled again, nodding and kissing her head.

The fire popped and Bella jumped, standing and staring at it before she stretched, yawned, and laid back down. They laughed quietly, her toes pressing into the seam of his jeans along his calf.

“You okay?” she asked quietly and his fingers paused for a second before running through her hair again.

“I am,” he answered with a slight nod. She lifted her head and pulled back to look at him, her eyes searching his own. He smiled as she touched his cheek and side.

“You’re sure?”

“Mm-hmm.”

She nodded and stroked his face, her fingernails scratching gently at the beard he had been growing for a few weeks. She took a deep breath and licked her lips.

“I like your beard like this,” she whispered and he fought back a smile.

Oh, he knew.

When he had started letting it grow, no longer wanting to shave every morning, she had made comments about his scratchy beard and ducked away as he attempted to rub his cheek against her neck.

But she would always giggle as he did it. He knew she did not really hate it.

When it had grown in, he had noticed the way that she touched it often, her fingertips scratching beneath it, her eyes dilating and her breathing increasing, sex inevitably occurring wherever they were at that moment.

Yeah… he knew.

But he would play it cool.

“You do, huh?” he asked, giving her a curious look.

“Hmm. I do. I didn’t in the past-”

“That was different,” he said quietly, leaning into her hand and staring into her eyes. “I was different. That was a depressed beard. It was ugly and unkempt, no care over how I looked. This is different.”

“I know,” she whispered, her hand stroking softly. “I like it. It’s sexy.”

“Sexy?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist, locking his fingers together, and opening his legs enough to allow hers to slip in between.

“Mm-hmm. Very sexy.” She bit her bottom lip and he smiled.

“I think I may have noticed,” he admitted and she stared at him.

“I like it. Especially on my thighs.” His hands slipped as his body jerked and she grinned.

“Yeah?” he asked, clearing his throat.

“God, yes,” she breathed, her eyes closing. “It’s so stimulating, it makes me…” She shivered and he chuckled, causing her to open her eyes.

“Yeah, I noticed.” He smiled and she narrowed her eyes at him.

“Always observant, you are.”

“When it comes to that, you bet I am.”

“Hmm,” she hummed, dropping her hand down to the button of his thermal shirt and fiddling with it. “How quickly can you put out the fire?”

“Which one?” he teased, unlocking his hands and placing one on her ass. She laughed and kissed him, her tongue stroking his as she shifted onto her knees, her hands on his face.

“This fire is close, but that one needs some attention. You take care of it and meet me in the bedroom.” She kissed him once more and climbed off of his lap, heading to the bedroom, lifting her sweater over her head on the way. “Hurry up or I’m starting without you.”

He jumped up and hurried to put out the fire with the ashes in the metal bucket beside the fireplace. Once he was sure it was out, he walked toward the bedroom, unbuttoning his pants and removing his layers of shirts.

She was on the bed, already naked, her knees bent. She was moaning quietly and he saw she was squeezing her breasts. His clothes dropping to the floor, he tugged at her feet, pulling her legs apart as he climbed onto the bed. He kissed his way up her legs, heading toward his goal. He rubbed his beard against her thighs, one then the other, and she arched her back, his name said breathlessly.

Closer to her center, he breathed deeply, smelling her arousal. He kissed her pubis and she whimpered, her legs tightening around him. Rubbing his chin on her inner thighs, she cried out, grabbing his head and gripping his hair.

“Mulder,” she gasped and he smiled.

“Yes?” he asked, kissing her pubis again, rubbing his face across it back-and-forth. She pulled his hair and he chuckled, raising his head to look at her.

“You’re a shit,” she said, her chest heaving.

“You said you were close and I can tell you are. Nothing wrong with showing some restraint and prolonging that pleasure.”

“Fuck that,” she said through gritted teeth, attempting to push his head where she most wanted it, but he stopped her.

Pushing up, he rubbed his face on her stomach, feeling it quiver as he kept moving up her body, kissing and rubbing his beard against your skin. He reached her breasts and ran his lips across her nipples, then his beard, her legs gripping even tighter as she whimpered.

“Jesus, Mulder. You keep that up, I’m going to come.”

“Is that a complaint?” he asked, knowing the way in which she truly wanted to get there.

“No. Not at ohhh, at all.” She moaned as he came up, nuzzling at her neck and her lips. “Kiss me.” He lifted his head and kissed her lips, her tongue running across his teeth, the kiss hot and needy.

He pulled back and resumed his nuzzling at her neck, back tracking down the path he had taken up her body. He paused at her stomach, enjoying the way it quivered under his touch.

“You’ve known all this time?” she asked quietly, her breath coming out heavy through her nose.

“Of course I have,” he responded, his tongue running from her navel to the top of her pubis. “As if I could not notice.”

He moved, opening her legs and rubbing his beard against her inner thighs once more, her fingernails scratching at his scalp. Her arousal was more evident now and he breathed in her intoxicating scent.

“Mulder, please…”  she begged.

And he did, taking his time, making sure she got there.

Twice.  

_____________________

The next few days, the snow sticking around, they went for long walks, Bella rolling and sliding in the snow. They went close to the water, throwing sticks in and watching them float away. There were plastic sleds in a small shed out back and they made a small hill, packing down some snow, to let Faith slide down, Mulder catching her at the bottom. Her happy laughter echoed around them, Scully smiling from the top of the little hill, as they trudged back up to do it all again.

They went into the little town, walking along the streets, looking in the windows and stopping in a few places that remained open, masks on and keeping their distance.

In one shop, Mulder found a little pop-up playhouse shaped like a toad stool. It was red with white polka dots on top and a squat round bottom with a curved door and circular windows on the sides. Deciding to keep it for a couple of days, as Valentine’s Day was approaching, though Scully stated it was a rather silly day.

“As though people need a specific day set aside to express their love,” she had said as they walked out of the store, the playhouse in a bag.

“Scully,” he had started to say and she interrupted him.

“I don’t mean that a gift or flowers isn’t nice, but couldn’t someone do that on February nineteenth just as well as the fourteenth? It will cost less on that day which means you could buy even more.” She had shrugged and he smiled, pulling her into his arms and lifting her off the ground.

“I love you,” he had whispered and she laughed.

“See? A few days early even. And that’s all I need.” She had pulled her mask down and kissed him before he set her down and they continued on their way.

The afternoon before Valentine’s Day, after discovering the box of pasta they had planned to eat for dinner that night had not made it home, Mulder had volunteered to go back to the store to get it. Scully insisted they could eat something else that night, as they had just purchased another week's worth of groceries, but he insisted more and with a kiss to her and Faith, he left.

He had an ulterior motive for going, one he did not want her to know about just yet.

While they had been out earlier, he had seen something in a florist shop he wanted to buy for her. It was simple, but it had made him smile when he saw it and he knew he needed to buy it.

Stopping quickly at the store, he bought a bag of Valentine’s chocolate kisses before he picked up the pasta. He drove to the florist shop and went inside, smiling as he saw what he had wanted was still there.

It was a wooden stand with two small glass nearly heart shaped test tube vases, hanging from a metal pronged holder. At the base of the stand was a wooden heart with the word Love written upon it. It was perfect in its simplicity, exactly the kind of gift he knew she would enjoy.

“Those are quite popular, I only have those two left.” He turned and the florist nodded her head at them. “You better grab it while you can.”

“I saw these when we walked by earlier and I had to come back when it was more covert.”

“Understood,” she laughed and pointed to the stands. He nodded and she picked one up with gloved hands and he followed her to the register.

“Do you have any violets? Just a few to set inside the vases?”

“As it happens, I cut some for a bouquet this morning, I always save the extras. Never know when they will come in handy. I’ll get them for you.” He nodded as she walked away, glancing at his watch and seeing he still had time before he began to draw suspicion.

“Here we are, I’ve tied a small bunch together and you can distribute them between the two vases when you get home.”

“Thank you.”

She wrapped the vases and the stand and placed it in a brown gift bag, tied with twine. The flowers were wrapped and he asked for a heart balloon as well- for Faith. She nodded and filled a shiny pink mylar heart with helium.

Paying for it and getting into the car, he smiled at the balloon dancing on the front seat. Such a small thing, but he knew Faith would love it. He could not wait to see her happy smile.

As he got onto the main highway, the street was packed with cars. An ambulance drove past him and he took a deep breath. Most likely an accident and traffic would be backed up for a while. He put the car in park and took out his phone, texting Scully to let her know what was happening.

Take your time. Get home safely. ❤️

He smiled at the heart and put his phone in the cup holder. Turning the heater up a bit, he then turned the volume up on the radio and leaned his head back on the headrest.

A song began to play, a soft strum of a guitar and he was immediately pulled in, as he closed his eyes.

Take it If she gives you her heart Don't you break it Let your arms be a place She feels safe in She's the best thing that you'll ever have

His eyes flew open and he sat up straight, listening intently to the next part of the song.

She always has trouble Falling asleep And she likes to cuddle While under the sheets She loves Pop songs And dancing, and bad trash TV There's still a few other things

She loves love notes and babies And likes giving gifts Has a hard time accepting A good compliment She loves her whole family And all of her friends So if you're the one she lets in

Take it If she gives you her heart Don't you break it Let your arms be a place She feels safe in She's the best thing that you'll ever have She'll love you If you love her

On days when It feels like the whole World might cave in Stand side by side And you'll make it She's the best thing that you'll ever have She'll love you If you love her like that

“Pull to the right. We will be detouring you. Pull to the right. You will be detoured.” A voice said over a speaker and Mulder jumped, looking to his right. A police suburban drove by, lights flashing but no siren.

He turned the car on, missing the rest of the song as he concentrated on following the detour. The words remained in his head however, his thoughts of Scully and how it sounded as though the song had been written especially about them.

Pulling into the driveway a few minutes later, he turned the car off and picked up his phone, searching for the song with the words he remembered hearing.

He found it on the second search, listening to its entirety before purchasing it with a smile. Moving the gifts to the back of the car to bring in later when Scully was busy with something else, he grabbed the pasta and walked inside, a plan for tomorrow beginning to formulate. ______________________

February 14th

“Oh! So pretty!” Faith exclaimed as she stood in front of the toadstool playhouse and clapped her hands happily. She ran inside and squealed when she saw the pink balloon floating inside. “Heart. Pink heart. So pretty.”

They both bent down and watched her exploring, looking out the windows and calling out hello. Mulder unrolled the door and she popped out from behind it shouting boo! and running to him. He caught her and fell back, feigning fear. She laughed and ran back to scare him again.

“I’ll go get breakfast started,” Scully said with a smile, rising from her knees beside the playhouse.

“No wait!” he called out and stood quickly to his feet. “I uh… I can do it.”

“You’re playing with Faith. I don’t want to disturb the fun.” She smiled anew and started to walk to the kitchen when he stopped her again. “What are you doing?”

“Just… I…” He sighed heavily and shook his head. “We said Valentine’s Day wasn’t important, but… I got you something and it’s set up in the kitchen.” He sighed again and she smiled slowly, licking her lips and rolling her eyes as she shook her head.

“Well then, I’m just as guilty.”

“What?”

“I said it wasn’t important, that it was just a day, but… I got you something too.”

“Whoa, I’m having a crazy feeling of deja vu,” he murmured, thinking about a Christmas morning, opening gifts together in his apartment. She laughed, which ended with a sigh, her shoulders lifting in a shrug and a shake of her head.

“Together?” he asked and she nodded, reaching for his hand.

“Together.”

He scooped up Faith, wanting her to share in the festivities and they walked into the kitchen, his eyes on Scully to see her reaction.

“Oh! Hearts!” Faith shouted and he chuckled, glancing at her before looking back at Scully.

She shook her head with a smile, letting go of his hand to look at the numerous cutout hearts hanging and spinning slowly from the ceiling, some single and some intertwined. They were all made from white notebook paper, the house not exactly full of crafting materials.

“When did you do this?” she asked and he smiled.

“Last night after you fell asleep. You are a heavy sleeper sometimes, as you know.” He set Faith in her high chair attached to the kitchen chair, buckling her in as Scully came to stand beside them.

“Mulder, this is so beautiful. And violets…” she said, touching the flowers in the vases, rubbing his back as she did. “Thank you, love.” She kissed him and he smiled as she pulled back.

“You’re welcome. Check out the counter.”

She turned around and laughed as she walked to the counter and saw the heart shape he had made from the chocolate kisses.

“You and the kisses,” she teased, and he knew she was remembering years ago when he had left the chocolate kisses in and with various people at the hospital, letting her know it had been him doing it only when she had arrived at home.

“Chocolate kisses are sweet,” he responded and she laughed softly, foregoing the candy, and coming close to kiss him again.

“Dada. Na-na, please.”

“Of course, my love. I’m so sorry.” He took a banana from the bowl and peeled it, cutting it into pieces and placing it in a bowl. He gave it to her with a small fork and kissed the top of her head. “That should buy us a few minutes.”

“Right, let me get your-”

“Did you see what was on the hearts?” he asked, stopping her from getting his gift. She looked up at the hearts and then back at him. “Oh right, they’re up quite high. Let me help you reach them.”

“You’d better watch it,” she said, reaching up, but he was ahead of her and he cut the twine with some scissors, a single heart fluttering into her hands.

“Stubborn,” she read and looked at him, with her eyebrows raised.

“Oh… whoops. That wasn’t supposed to be the first one. Let’s try this one.” He cut down another single heart and she caught it.

“Empathy. That’s much better.” She gave him a look and walked to the next single heart, waiting to catch it. He grinned as he snipped the twine and once again she caught it.

Five more hearts were released from the twine, and when she had them all, she laid them on the counter.

“Intelligence. Empathy. Compassion. Beauty. Stubborn. Understanding. Loving. Sexy.” She looked at him with a grin and he raised a fist.

“Nailed it. First time truly celebrating in a loooooong time and I hit it outta the park.” He danced around, Faith laughing as she watched him, bananas squished in her hands and on her face.

“Yes, you did good. Now it’s my turn.”

“Bring it on, honey.”

“Dada, milk please.”

“I’ll get it,” Scully said, opening the fridge quickly and taking out her cup of milk.

She handed it to Faith and kissed her head, before opening the pantry and taking out a gift wrapped in pink paper with anatomically correct red hearts. He laughed as she handed it to him and she smiled.

“Gotta have some authenticity to it,” she stated with a shrug. He nodded and carefully unwrapped the box.

Lifting the lid and then the tissue paper, he drew in a breath. Looking up at her, she smiled softly and he shook his head as he looked back at the gift she had given him.

It was a collage of pictures held within a frame, in the center of which was a drawing of a grinning heart overflowing with other smiling hearts. Underneath was written, My heart is happy.

Every picture was from their visit. A picture of the house on its own. Him and Faith in the loft reading a book. Faith mid sled, him smiling happily with his arms out wide to catch her, the house in the background. One of them all by the fire, a squishy selfie they liked to call it. Another selfie in the snow, all of them red cheeked and grinning. Down by the water, him showing Faith how to throw sticks. Bella jumping out of the snow as Faith laughed. The snow family. Him and Faith asleep on the couch, her laying on his chest.

“I wanted you to see. To see the happiness I’ve seen in you,” Scully said quietly and he nodded, looking up at her with a lump in his throat, understanding the many layers to the gift.

“Thank you,” he said hoarsely. She grasped his forearm as he let out a deep breath, looking at the pictures again.

So much thought had gone into the choice of pictures, always showcasing the house and how happiness had outweighed the sadness previously held inside the walls.

“The best thing that you’ll ever have,” he whispered, shaking his head with a sigh.

“What?” Scully asked and he looked at her with a smile, setting down the frame and picking up his phone from where it was charging on the counter.

“I heard this yesterday and I…” He queued up the song and set the phone down, reaching for her hand and pushing play. “I swear it was written for us.” He watched her face as the first chords of the song began.

Take it If she gives you her heart Don't you break it Let your arms be a place She feels safe in She's the best thing that you'll ever have

He smiled and she scrunched her chin, her eyes shining. He took her other hand and pulled her close as they began to sway slowly.

She always has trouble Falling asleep And she likes to cuddle While under the sheets She loves Pop songs And dancing, and bad trash TV There's still a few other things

He felt her chuckle and he held her tighter.

She loves love notes and babies And likes giving gifts Has a hard time accepting A good compliment She loves her whole family And all of her friends So if you're the one she lets in

Take it If she gives you her heart Don't you break it Let your arms be a place She feels safe in She's the best thing that you'll ever have She'll love you If you love her

On days when It feels like the whole World might cave in Stand side by side And you'll make it She's the best thing that you'll ever have She'll love you If you love her like that

So many thoughts and moments in their lives flashed in his mind. He heard her sniffling and he knew she was thinking of them as well.

Kiss her with passion As much as you can Run your hands through her hair Whenever she's sad And when she doesn't notice How pretty she is Tell her over and over So she never forgets

Take it If she gives you her heart Don't you break it Let your arms be a place She feels safe in She's the best thing that you'll ever have She'll love you If you love her

On days when It feels like the whole World might cave in Stand side by side And you'll make it She's the best thing that you'll ever have She'll love you If you love her like that

He pulled back and stared at her, cupping her face and rubbing his thumb across her cheek, as the song continued, speaking without saying a word. She shook her head and took a deep breath, closing her eyes and laying her head on his chest as the last lines of the song began to play.

On days when It feels like the whole World might cave in Stand side by side And you'll make it She's the best thing that you'll ever have She'll love you If you love her like that

As it ended, they remained swaying in each other’s arms, his arms holding her tightly.

“Mama. Dada. More food. Na-na all gone.” They both laughed, the private bubble they had been in popped, as reality came calling.

“More food?” he asked, pulling back from Scully, rubbing her arms as he did. “Did you make banana art today, or actually eat most of it?” Faith grinned at him and he shook his head at the mess she always made.

“Time for pancakes, I think,” Scully said, taking the premade bowl of batter from the fridge.

“Faithy look! It’s pink! Pink pancakes!”

“Yay! Pink pa-cakes!”

The heart kisses were moved into a bowl, Mulder opening one and offering it to Scully, who took it with happiness shining in her eyes. He found a Valentine’s Day playlist on his music app and they sang along and danced as they worked together to make breakfast.  

“You’re simply the best!” he sang into the spatula as he flipped the pink pancakes. “Better than alllllll the rest!” Scully laughed and Faith wiggled in her high chair.

Sitting down to eggs and pink heart shaped pancakes, Scully having purchased a heart cookie cutter at the store unbeknownst to him, they smiled at each other, toasting a successful Valentine’s Day.

As they ate, he glanced at the gift Scully had given him and looked around the kitchen, at the changes made for the better, and he made a decision.

“I’ll call Brian tomorrow, see if we can’t figure something out to keep this place as a rental. See if he has any suggestions for what we could do. I… I’m not quite ready to let it go just yet.” Scully smiled slowly and reached for his hand.

“I think that’s a great idea. I wouldn’t mind coming back.”

“I think that could be arranged,” he said, his words from years ago, holding more weight. A promise he intended to fulfill.

“Maybe when it’s warmer though. Perhaps when there is a little less snow.”

He laughed and nodded, imagining coming there in the summer, and the many activities they could do in the warmer weather.

“Yes, we’ll definitely have to come back when it’s warmer.”

“I’d like that,” she said and he nodded.  

“Me too.”

And he meant it.

____________________________________________

The song in this story is If You Love Her by Forest Blakk. I heard it and knew I had to include it in a story somehow. It’s such an MSR song.  

My friend who asked for the story makes MSR videos and asked if there was a song I would like her to use. I told her THIS song and she created an amazing video. I’ve included the link and you should all go check it out. It is simply beautiful. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEoHZiRNrGM

[voidcat]

– a case of bad luck

3. making a scene

m.list ; prev ; next ; wc: 2.7k

a/n: rmr when i said i'd not post a chapter befre writing at least one chapter ahead? ahahaha anyways,,, here's wonderwall. song name mentioned at the end of the chapter!!

He doesn’t show his face for the next few days.

The feeling of being watched goes away with him, despite knowing it’ll be over shortly.

Finding things to occupy your mind starts off easier than you thought, no one bats an eye to it either. Slowly rumors start to spread about the boy who hasn’t shown his face in weeks.

Exes complain and bad mouth, friends stick around and make excuses, some believe he ran off to chase a dream or start a new life; a theory from each head, all speculating, not even close to the truth of it.

Then comes the news reports, a close friend must’ve heard from the cops, body found dead, covered in bruises. ‘They say he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, crossed an alley too narrow at a time too late.’ Nobody speaks of the bodies found with him, someone must’ve messed with the crime scene.

“So, how are things going with him?” a voice from your right snaps your attention.

What?.. You stare at your friend, then realize she must mean Dazai.

“Not much. He’s still in town, we hang out sometimes.” The lie slips off smoothly yet they seem disappointed at your answer. Then remembering what he claims to have said to them, it makes sense in a way, although a dumb way it is.

“Do you think he was murdered?” “What could he have done to die a brutal way?” they join the flock of gossipers. Nothing new or exciting to do recently, taking a guess has become the new sport, as if a correct guess could earn them something of a meaning.

You close your ears to the same whispers of different voices and try focusing on what’s at hand. Maybe you should remember what it is for first.

The dreaded feeling comes back after few more days and with it, so does he.

Waiting in the same spot just like the last time, another suspicious smile decorating his face, accompanied by fresh bandages. Rolling your eyes at the sight of him, you look for a means to escape, even just for one more day but your friends spot him short after, wave their hands at him and push you to his direction.

Lovely.

A cloying voice to match that smile, he greets you first. “Hello darling-“ “Don’t call me that.” You cut in. He pays no mind.

Like last time, the two of you begin to walk, ignoring the curious looks of your friends focused on your back. “Have you thought about my offer recently?”

“Honestly? I forgot.” You expect a raised eyebrow or a glance thrown your way at the very least. “I have a life of my own, you know.” He shows no sign of emotions or annoyance.

“And so do they.” He shrugs and looks at the each store window you walk by. It’s the air within him, that rubs you the wrong way, you decide. The way he talks as if he is discussing over what to eat for breakfast when it’s lives, living breathing lives you’ve spent your whole life with that he threatens.

Exactly how many times has he done that to not care at all?

Another answer- no, a possibility, an explanation to this lies in your mind and you brush it off –or try to do so. It’s cruel, maybe not exactly but such an idea shouldn’t come to your mind so easily, no matter how… logical it sounds to be.

“What do you want me to do? What do you expect me to say? Just blindly agree?” your steps begin to get louder, more pressure applied to each one you take.

Then his voice rises, a stretched out ‘ah’comes first, “Bella, you’re making a scene,” he makes a move to drape an arm over your shoulder as you take a step forward to escape it. “-especially when you don’t even have the slightest clue what I’m asking for.” And comes back the empty tone of voice with his last words.

Few steps ahead there’s a turn you can take. You wonder if he will stop when you part ways, will he wait, walk after you to grab your arm and make you follow him again? Another voice tells you instead he will keep walking ahead, not even sparing a glance your way, already aware you’ll fall defeated to fear or curiosity only to trail after him again.

But still, the possibilities are still worth the risk, no matter how true he is to his threats, it’s better than to walk into an alley with him again.

People around walk on and continue their lives, out to enjoy the sun or to hang out after their not-so-busy lives. You don’t cross the street at the lights like you did the last time.

From the corner of your eye you peak at him but the bandages cover a good portion of his face, not that he is loose with his expressions and mimics. You focus on the walk again.

“Whatever it is, it must be something dirty, or risky, considering you’re threatening me into this.”

“Now now, don’t flatter yourself just because you have an ability. It isn’t anything big, just a small chore I don’t want to deal with.”

“From the way you talk, the list can go from taking the trash out to murder y’know…” To this, he just lets out a dry laugh. You’re unsure if it’s a good thing or not that he doesn’t even deny it.

The scenery around begins to change slowly, store by store, people by people. Maybe this is a good time to take a turn right or back, before ending up in a part of town who knows where. Nearby you spot a pot of flowers and stop as you reach it. A checkpoint, of sorts. It used be enjoyable at least, to have little checkpoints of your own on paths you took daily, on streets you weren’t familiar with. Stores, a pavement stone sticking out, a cat that sleeps in the same place all day, all to yourself, –as if a checkpoint could actually serve you as if life is a video game.

As you stop, he does too. “That’s fair.” He shrugs, “but it’s nothing big. I just want you to capture this guy by the end of tonight.”

Narrowing your eyes, you observe his face, “why, is the mighty Dazai incapable of such a simple task or does he carry an infectious disease of sorts?”

“Neither,” crossing his arms behind, he rests his head. “I just don’t feel like doing it.” Unbelievable.

It’s your turn to cross your arms this time, take a step back and balance your weight, just to say alert. “So let’s say that I agreed to this, will you get off my neck? Even if it fails?”

“Ah, bella, failure isn’t an option in your case.” You wince at nickname, again, and positive why he avoided the first question. Like it or not, getting involved in even the tiniest task would link you to the mafia somehow, an accomplice, even if he says he will leave you, there’s no guarantee someone else won’t show up. And this time with a better excuse to use, that’ll get worse for you if the said person is tortured or murdered.

“Okay, I… have a song in mind but-“ you look around and down and around and at his face again, he seems to be waiting for you to finish whatever it is you’ll say. Straightening up, you speak the next words with more confidence, no matter what, showing any signs of weakness or submission is not an option. “-even if this whole ability thing is real, I doubt it will work unless it’s night time.”

He waits there for a moment, looking more like he dozed off then considering what you’ve just said. “Alright!” he claps his hands in front of him suddenly, “I’ll be waiting by the door around 8. Don’t make me wait.” “wait!-“

Coat wavering in the air, he turns and continues walking the direction you two were following.

Your ‘How the hell am I supposed to find an excuse to get out at 8?’ waits on the tip of your tongue, his shrinking form looking more and more punchable with each passing second. Waiting a little longer to make sure he’s gone, though it isn’t important since he made it clear he knows where you reside, you begin to walk back home.

Now each word spoken, his gestures, moves and his voice start to come back at you one by one. Want it or not, you did agree to become an associate to them, even if it’s a weak link. A disposable one, easy to trace, not important enough to protect. Taking one arm off, you hold your bag in front and search for your earphones.

If you’re really going to do this, that ability thing better be working. Typing in the song title and you click play, putting it on repeat, that might help get you in the mood at least.

A dinner like any other evening, occasional chitchat mixed with the clanking of cutlery. Your cat peaks from the door frame and goes back into the living room, leaving the three of you alone. Few nods here and there, hums instead of ‘yes’ and ‘no’s.

You consider if you should try to sneak out or make up a lie to go out, though there’s no guarantee on the latter that they’ll allow. That is, until you see alcohol in the mix and stay silent, then offer once to refill their glasses and refuse “No thank you, it’s a school night after all.”

Pleased with your reply, their attention is back on talk about their day, few complaints here and there, and soon after they grow tired. Dimming the lights and burning an incense stick in a far corner of a room helps to set the mood.

“You seem tired father, why don’t you go to bed earlier tonight?” he doesn’t even loom up from his cigarette but the heavy eye lids suggest he is keen on the idea.

“Mother, didn’t you say you have an early meeting tomorrow? It’s better to sleep now and review the papers in the morning than to stay up all night.” If she suspects your sudden interest in her schedule, she doesn’t make a comment. And always being the first one to go to bed, she puts the documents into a neat pile and gets up first.

You wait for the sounds to come to an end and glance at the nearest clock. 8.05, not bad. Who is he to complain when he didn’t even bother to ask if it works for you anyway?

Tiptoing to the door and grabbing the keys, you ignore your cat’s curious gaze and grab your shoes.

Like he said, he waits 20 meters from your house.

“Ready?” he offers his arm, which you ignore.

Putting on your earphones and pressing play, you let out a breath. “Just lead the way.”

With music in your ears, the journey there goes faster.

At first you lend an ear to Dazai, seeing his mouth move, but once it’s clear he’s just babbling about some random thing, you let your focus loose and allow the tune to surround you.

Losing count on how many times the song replayed, you eye Dazai, waiting for a word on at least what you’ll do.

And as if on cue, he stops whatever nonsense he was sputtering and that tone comes out of his mouth again. You make a mental note to control your body language better in the future.

“It’s just one man, slightly taller than me, built in but not very bright. He should be easy to spot in the next turn to the left, I doubt he got company.”

Turning the volume down, you slow your steps to match his pace. “So he is just… there? Why would he even walk into a trap?”

“Oh he isn’t! But he will arrive in-“ he pulls out his phone to check the time, “-in half an hour.” as his voice starts to get more excited, not genuine like a kid’s, but fake, you get a bad feeling in his intentions –worse than before.

“What if it doesn’t work and I cannot use my ability?” you ask and immediately regret upon seeing a smile on him, as if he was waiting, –who are you kidding, of course he was waiting! “Well that sounds like a you problem, doesn’t it?” he says with a shrug.

“Good luck! I’ll be back in an hour!” he turns around and walk into a shadowed corner before you can run after him.

Eyes fixed on where he was standing a while ago, with that smile on his lips, you mutter to yourself, “What the hell…”, and turn the volume back up.

In the remaining minutes to his arrival, you’ve taken off your earphones, humming to yourself and waiting by the corner.

By the time he arrives, you watch him look around for a minute then walk into the alley with ease.

“Hello, sir! If you’re not busy at the moment, can I borrow 5 minutes of your time?” Adding a sweetness to your voice isn’t hard but he seems vary of you.

Who wouldn’t be? In the dead of the night, a high schooler appearing in an alley when they’re supposed to have a meeting.

“Oh please, it’s nothing big. You see, I’ll be auditioning for a band and I’m waiting for my friend before we go in.” You wave your hand like it’s nothing. “And though I know I’m somewhat decent, I need actual criticism from someone who won’t sugarcoat it for me. Would you like to hear me sing?”

He doesn’t look impressed, nor does he look like he wants to deal with a brat. But twisting his lips once and looking around for a sign of arrival, it’s clear he prefers to hear you once and get rid of you for good.

“Okay and before we begin, if you understand the lyrics, please don’t get any ideas. The actual theme and story of the song lies in the verse.” You flash a smile when he raises an eyebrow, maybe it was a stupid thing to say, it’s not like everyone can understand a song in a foreign language on first listen, even if they know the language.

Pulling out your phone, you press play, keeping rhythm to the beat with your foot and drum your fingers to your leg.

“I am not, I am not, I am not, I'm alive, live-” you begin singing and close your eyes for a brief moment.

Perhaps you should’ve picked a… more convenient song, instead of spending your day til dinner listening to this.

But would another one be as interesting as this to witness? It’s a hard no, of course not.

Yet this doesn’t help silence the creaking sounds from earlier leave your head. And now those mixed with the song itself, sends a shiver. Would that happen to me if I sang it in a moment of weakness?

You wait with your back to the cold wall, check the time again and like clockwork, faint footsteps reach your ears.

It’s Dazai’s face to show itself first, peaking from the street opening like your cat did today during dinner. He spots you, and him, and his expression changes suddenly.

Unsure what he thinks of this, you decide don’t want to learn it, or any other expression of his now that you’re at it. Decoding him means knowing him, to an extent, and this also means spending time with him, getting closer to him. None of which you’re eager to participate in.

As he opens his mouth to say something, you push yourself off the wall and take a step to your right to avoid colliding.

“There. I’m going home.”

Steps long and fast, you leave immediately, putting as much distance as possible. Hands into fists, moving in sync with your legs and your gaze focused ahead. It seems trip back home will go faster than it was to get here. You ignore for the night how easily you could turn your back to him and just walk.

song: Crows - Rest in Bigger Pieces Remix by Car Seat Headrest

yep, thats the full name. if u listen to it, it'll make it easier, but if u dont, here's a brief summary:

the song is written for one of will's friends, cate wurtz (for one of her webcomics) the main theme of the song and the webcomic is in the verse but lyrics beside it are references to having sex at a park at night, hence the reader telling "dont get any ideas"

[dumbasscorn]

Exothermic : chapter eight

Amalthea vs the End of the First Day 

"Bold of you to assume I would kill my new bestie, Mal! I'm gonna force you to live forever just cause you said that." Previous Chapter 

967 words 

═ ∘♡༉∘ ═

A shrill school bell ringing brought Amalthea out of the trance that sketching the cars outside put her in.

Not even raising her eyes, she could tell Trevor was on his way over to annoy her yet again. He had been passing her notes in every class, trying his best to make the girl smile.

"Mal, 'Son's got practice in 20, wanna watch sweaty dudes kick balls and yell each others last names with me?"

"That sounds amazing and I'd really love to go, but I'd also really rather die." Standing up, Amalthea elbowed a set of ribs as she walked around the tall boy.

Trevor winced and curled into himself, holding his right rib as he pursed his lips. "Fine! You're not getting any of my special cookies when I talk my brothers girlfriend into making more," he dramatically waved his arms around to exaggerate his point, pushing Amalthea out of the classroom door.

"Brother? Damn, I pity the poor soul who had to deal with you as a kid. If you're annoying now I can't imagine what you'd do to get attention then."

Trevor guffawed at the teen and bumped their shoulders as they walked down the hallway, "Dude, can't even try to deny that-- I was annoying as fuck as a kid. My mom called me a gremlin, cause I'd eat sugar and go fuckin' insane."

Thea felt a tug at the left side of her lip, immediately hiding the smirk from Trevor.

"But on a more serious note, I don't really even know my brother. We didn't grow up together at all. We've got different moms and grew up in different towns - I'm here and he grew up on the reservation. You see, I only found out we had the same dad literally a couple months back, and when I went back to pretending he didn't exist, he resorted to bothering the shit out of me."

Thea could not hold back the snort of laughter that passed her lips, "Bothering you?"

"Dude, yes. He shows up at random times and like... watches me. It's weird as fuck. You might've heard people talk about him. They think he's some cult leader who sells steroids or something."

The two teens giggled at the thought of Trevor's estranged brother being a steroid dealer who finds big dudes and decides to think, hm! I want them in my cult that nobody knows about!

Trevor shouldered a short, talkative sophomore out of their way, watching as the boy gawked at the girl next to him. Amalthea heaved a sigh, shoulders drooping in a sluggish manner, "Damn, I forgot I still got to give this paper to that lady in the office. Kill me and I'll forgive you for being a nuisance."

"Bold of you to assume I would kill my new bestie, Mal! I'm gonna force you to live forever just cause you said that." He bopped her on the nose.

"And you plan on doing that how, may I ask?"

"Don't know yet, I'll look into finding a witch or something so she can curse you into being immortal! Or shall I say blessing, since I'd obviously get the curse too. Can't have you being lonely, Mal!" He grinned heavily, eyes shutting as he did so.

Trevor stumbled over a backpack in the middle of the hall, grasping the shoulder of his new friend for support, and spoke again before fully regaining his balance. "Honestly, thank god Mr. Huber made us project partners,. Now I can text you when I know all the deets."

"Well good luck with that. Text me to say dumb shit and I will brutally murder you, Uley."

"Yes, I absolutely one hundred percent believe you'd kill your bestie." Trevor rolled his eyes in a sarcastic manner,

"See you later Mal. I'll tell Jackson you miss him dearly and have your fingers crossed that he'll make the team run laps and suffer!" Trevor smushed Thea's cheeks together with his thumb and pointer finger as he spoke, the teen girl responded by slapping his hand away and rolling her dark eyes at his antics.

"Thank you, dear!" Amalthea waved him away from her, swinging the office door open. Only looking back at Trevor once more to give him the middle finger and turning away when she saw him giggling into his hands, pretending to get flustered.

The young girl handed in the paper that the teachers signed in each class, only after she was forced to introduce herself to the room, to the secretary.

Nodding at the elder woman, Amalthea left out the door and into the drizzling weather.

'Where the fuck is Bella, she better not have ditched me again,' Thea thought angrily, after searching for the awkward brunette and not finding her.

Spotting the ugly truck that Bella sported, Thea made the decision that taking a seat in the vehicle would make sure her cousin didn't strand her.

She thanked herself when she found that the door was still unlocked from this morning.

Bella Swan fumbled her way to the rusty truck, discovering the cousin she found herself ignoring seated on the passengers side.

The girl gave Thea a close lipped smile, uncomfortable at the glare the girl was giving back.

Setting her bag down and starting up the truck, Bella pulled away from the school that reminded her so excruciatingly much of Edward Cullen.

Tearing her venomous eyes away from the pale brunette, Amalthea faced the parking lot and watched as a broad shouldered, tan man scowled as he observed the girls driving off. The ebonette watched amusedly as Trevor walked toward the older man in an agitated state.

'Must be Uley's brother. No wonder people think he's a cult leader on steroids-- could he look any more scary, jesus christ.'

═ ∘♡༉∘ ═

Hi, sorry its been over 2 weeks since I've updated. Yikes! Sorry bout that. My mental health has been not doing good. Hopefully things get better soon and I update more. Spring break is coming up so I'll have a few days to do whatever I want. Gonna try to write a few chapters in that time!

Also, full moon tonight y'all. Love that.

Also (again), I changed the cast list thing. u should check it out 

Tag List: @ivettt @jjpogueprincess @demigodslut​

If you would like to be added to the tag list, please send me an ask or message me! Do the same if you’d like to be removed. :)

master list 

[turning-dreams-into-chaos]

Banished (Part 51)

~Banished~

Word Count: 10K

~Master~

*Based off episode 4x06 of the 100, We Will Rise*

*Bold/Italics are Trig!*

Previous episode...

---

The fire on Alpha station was put out as your people worked together, the rain falling from the sky providing help as well. Jaha stood in the middle of camp, looking at the destroyed ship with a somber face as Jasper walked up.

Jasper looked up into the sky, the rain falling on his face. “It’s not black rain.”

Jaha continued to look at the Ark, broken to pieces and no longer offering survival. “It will be colorless when it comes.”

“How are we gonna know?” Jasper asked him as he continued to look up in the falling rain.

“Pain.” Jaha sighed. “Chaos. Death.”

Jasper rolled his eyes as he listened. “Same old, same old then.” He smirked before looking around. Children were curled into their parents, some coughing and some sleeping before Jasper saw the frown still on Jaha’s face. “Jeez, cheer up Jaha. Once you accept there’s nothing to be done, there’s nothing to worry about.” Jasper didn’t find one problem with Alpha Stations destruction. He had no plans to be inside when Praimfaya hit anyways.

There was a group of men, stock piling parts of the ship that had fallen and still reusable as Jaha watched on. “We’ll find a way.” He said before Jasper chuckled.

“I found a way.” He whispered. “If you never did, you should. These things are fun, and fun is good.” Jasper jokingly quotes Dr. Seuss as he walked away, leaving Jaha to mull over his words as the man pulled out the pendent from the dead man you all found in the bunker. He’ll find a way to survive

---

Following Ilian’s decision to set fire to the ship, he was put in the cell to keep him safe and to make sure he doesn’t pull another stunt. Kane stood next to you, asking if you were alright from your coughing when the angry mod ran past you. It didn’t take a genius to know they were going for Ilian. Kane called for the guard as you both ran after them. By the time you arrived, Ilian was already being beaten, covered in his own blood as you and Kane both tore people off him. One man hit you in the mouth and kicked your left foot out from under you, before you realized Kane pulled out his gun. Yet you had already landed on your knee, laying on the ground with a split lip and a throbbing leg.

He fired 3 shots into the air.

The shouting ceased as everyone looked to Kane. He aimed the gun at the crowd, getting them to backup from Ilian. “I will shoot the next person who touches this man, so help me!” He threatened as people looked around deciding it wasn’t worth it. Kane stuck a hand out to you, helping you off the ground as you touched your lip, feeling the slight blood coating as you patted it away. Kane continued to look at the crowd, daring anyone to attack, but they didn’t and chose to leave. “Good choice.” When the last person left the room, including the guard, Kane dropped the gun and looked to see your lip. “Go check with Clarke, let her take a look at you.” He told you but you shook your head.

“I don’t need to get checked out, it’s just a lip.”

“And your leg?” He motioned down at you limping enough for him to notice. You sighed and avoided looking at him. “You’re hurt.”

“I’m fine, Kane.” You told him, getting him to stop worrying. You nodded towards Ilian groaning on the ground. “But he might not be. Let’s just get him to the med bay.” You started to help Ilian up before realizing Kane was helping. He was too busy just watching you, noticing how tired you were. “Earth to Kane. You planning to help or are you just going stand there and let me do all the work?” Sighing lightly, he put his gun away, and threw Ilian’s other over his shoulder as you dragged him to the med bay.

---

“Stage two re-entry in 5” The computer informed Raven before it started to count down. She was sat in the rocket, looking at the screens in front of her as she worked the shaking rocket.

She pushed herself on. “Come on, you can do this.” She muttered, more focus than ever.

“Main booster engaged. Fuel levels critical and dropping fast.” The computer was finished counting down as Raven looked to the fuel, seeing it at 20%.

“No, no, no!” She chanted, trying her best to push on despite the warnings being yelled at her. The fuel hit 0% as Raven grunted, trying to make the rocket last.

“Warning. Brace for impact.” Raven was still stressing, hoping the rocket would pull through. Fire exploded on the screen in front of her as she groaned and leaned back in her seat, the lights in the rocket turning off. “Mission fail.” The screen lit up red as Raven read over the report of her failed simulation. “Exterior damage 100%. Cargo Damage 100%. Fatality 100%”

“Way to go, Raven.” Murphy was outside the rocket, playing with a toy car as he spoke over the speaker in his ear to the one in Raven’s. “Nuclear death wave 42, mankind 0.”

Raven rolled her eyes as she turned on her microphone. “Do you want to get in here and try it?”

“Nah, kind of busy out here.” He told her, focusing on his toy car. “Besides, I wouldn’t want to be responsible for everyone in the world dying.”

Raven was getting irritated by Murphy’s presence as she went over her failed simulation. “Abby said you had to watch. No one said you had to weigh in.” She reminded him.

Murphy chuckled softly. “That’s me, always going above and beyond. Speaking of, you keep starting your fuel at 75%. Maybe that’s your problem.”

“Pay attention. 10 barrels of hydrazine is all we have at Arkadia. If there was more, then I wouldn’t be having a landing problem.” Her sentence stopped as a headache ripped through her brain, making her pause and hold her forehead. “Damn it.” She groaned.

Murphy stopped playing with the car, looking back to the rocket. “You okay in there?”

“I’m fine. Shut up.” She snapped at him.

Murphy wasn’t deterred from her attitude. “Do you want me to wake up the doc?”

Raven’s headache started fading as she denied his question. “I’m good.” She said. She started to set up the simulation again, setting the fuel gage to 75%. “I’m running it again.”

Murphy sighed. “Sure. 28th time’s a charm, right?” He joked sarcastically as Raven ignored him, starting the simulation up again.

“Simulation starting.” The computer told her before the rocket on the screen launched into space, letting Raven try again.

---

Clarke woke up in her bed early the next morning, forgetting any idea of sleeping in. She reached over to her nightstand, grabbing her shirt that sat on top. She was about to pull it over her head before seeing a drawing she had done ages ago of Lexa before she passed hung onto Clarke’s wall. A pang in her heart caused Clarke to stop, just living in the memory of her deceased ex-girlfriend.

“Don’t you sleep?” Clarke finished throwing her shirt on before turning around and smiling at Niylah laying in Clarke’s bed. “Everyone needs rest, Clarke.” Clarke sighed in content as she moved across the room to pick up her pants. “There she goes.”

“I have to.” Clarke reminded her as she slipped on the last article of her clothes. “Going to the island today to bring rocket fuel to my Mom and Raven so they go into space to make Nightblood. It’s now officially our only hope.”

Niylah nodded softly, feeling the guilt in her. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stop that boy from destroying your home.”

“It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have left you and Octavia.” Niylah was about to object but Clarke didn’t let her get a word in. “Besides, now we don’t have to worry about kicking 450 people out when the death wave hits or sharing it with Azgeda.” Clarke assured her, remembering when you had told her about promising half of Alpha to Ice Nation, not that it mattered anymore.

“Lexa would be proud of you.” Niylah said as Clarke stopped dressing for a moment, sparing a glance up. “We’re all your people. She believed that, too.” Niylah stood out of the bed, walking over to Clarke. “She lives on through you.” Niylah was trying to get Clarke to understand, but the look on Clarke’s face told Niylah she was thinking of something else. “What is it?”

Clarke looked her in the eyes. “I want you to stay here. You can stay in my room until I get back.” Clarke said but Niylah just shook her head.

“Clarke, I’m not asking for anything more than this moment. That’s how I live.”

“I know.” Clarke said as she grabbed her hand. “But Niylah please, once we solve Nightblood, it’ll be distributed to Arkadia and Polis first. I’d feel better knowing you were here to get it.” Niylah stayed silent, thinking over Clarke’s offer before smiling with a nod. “Good.” Clarke smiled as well. “I’ll let med bay know they have an extra hand.”

After Clarke threw her jacket on, she pulled Niylah to her, embracing in a kiss before pulling away. “Now go save us all.” Clarke nodded, sharing one last look with Niylah before leaving.

---

The plan for today was for Clarke and Bellamy to take the hydrazine to the lab. Roan was going as well to supervise, not trusting Skaikru not to betray him. Right now, you were listening to Monty tell you, Bellamy, Kane and Roan about the outcome of yesterday’s disaster. “Sectors 3, 4 and 5 had sustained the most damage. We lost the server room, all of our processors, life support systems, and half our living quarters. Backup power will keep the lights on at night in the room that survived, but there will be no heat or running water. And no way to restore it or reseal the ship before the radiation gets here.”

You nodded your head, trying to keep yourself from biting and hurting your cut lip more. “Is there any good news?” Bellamy asked as you agreed, not at all seeing a good part to this.

“No one died.” Kane said as you turned your head to look at him, seeing him staring past you to Bellamy.

“Forget the Ark.” Clarke called out as you all turned to look at her. She stood next to Kane. “It was never going to save us all anyway. We need to focus on the Nightblood situation. Is the fuel loaded?”

“It’s in process, but Clarke, it’s not going to be an easy ride.” Bellamy told her and you nodded slowly, looking towards Roan.

He met your eye briefly before Clarke caught on, growing concerned. “What don’t I know?”

Roan cleared his throat. “With the secret of Praimfaya out, I sent Echo and my army back to Polis to keep peace.”

“That’s good. We can’t distribute the cure without peace.”

“More than half of them deserted along the way. With the end coming, they want to be home. I don’t blame them.”

Clarke nodded, her face falling somber. Bellamy jumped into the conversation. “Do you blame them for burning Trikru villages on the way?” He asked and you smacked his arm lightly enough to get his attention, sending him a frown.

“That’s funny coming from you.” Roan spit back and your frown shifted to him.

“Stop, both of you.” You said to them, crossing your arms in front of you. Bellamy’s eyes furrowed as he watched Roan stare at you but you weren’t focused on him, instead your attention was on Kane as he spoke and put a hand on your upper back.

“We know the woods are a war zone.” He looked down at you, seeing you subconsciously rub a finger across the split on your lip as you listened. “After what happened to Ilian,” you tore your hand away, now aware of your actions as Kane looked up at Bellamy, “I can’t spare many of the guard to protect you.”

Bellamy sighed, giving him a thin smile as Roan spoke up. “My security detail can protect us.” He offered.

“Thank you.” Kane told him. “That’s very generous.”

Roan nodded looking around the table before ending at you. “We’re all in this together now.” He said before walking out.

Bellamy watched him leave, not missing you watching as well. “I’m going to go say goodbye to Octavia before we leave.” He muttered and you gave him a short smile he returned before leaving and Monty followed behind.

You were about to leave as well before overhearing Kane and Clarke’s conversation. “I’m going with you.” He said to the girl as you stopped right outside the doorway, out of view from Kane and Clarke.

“You can’t.” you silently agreed with Clarke as Kane reminded her that he was Chancellor. “That’s why you can’t go. After everything that happened this morning, out people need you here, now more than ever.” The look in Kane’s eyes made Clarke know why he wanted to go so badly. “I know you’re worried about my mother.”

Kane took a deep breath. “She’s going into space in a 100-year-old rocket. Do you have any idea how many things could go wrong?”

“Raven says the rocket’s intact.” Clarke promised. “She’d like a little more fuel, but as long as we get her what we’ve got, she said she’ll get them both back down safely.” Kane still wasn’t convinced as Clarke gave him a smile. “Look, we have to try. I’ll send her your love.”

You inhaled sharply, listening to Kane agree to Clarke’s statement. Did Kane love Abby? As long as you’ve known him, Kane’s never been in love before, or at least, you didn’t think he had.

Inside the room, Kane and Clarke shared an awkward hug before Kane walked out of the room, not seeing you as he went the other way down the hall. As soon as he was out, you walked back in, catching Clarke’s attention by your sudden reappearance.

“You got enough room for one more?” you asked as she furrowed her brows. “I figure it’s worth going. Roan doesn’t trust anyone but me, and I don’t think Bellamy’s so keen on the idea of Roan being there in the first place.”

“You don’t want to stay here?”

“Yeah, I think I wanna risk getting a black eye to match my lip.” You joked and chuckled, but Clarke didn’t laugh. She couldn’t even offer you a smile and you knew she was worried about the trip. You put your hands on her shoulders. “Look, I know you don’t trust Roan, and I know you don’t trust his men, but the only way we’re getting through this today is letting them protect us. Abby and Raven need the hydrazine. I’m not seeing another option here.”

“You’re right.” She sighed and you dropped your arms. You gave her one more grin before leaving her alone.

---

Octavia laid on her side in the med bay, facing away from the entrance as she watched the numerous people bouncing around and helping the people wrapped in bandages. Bellamy walked inside, immediately seeing his sister as he stood behind her. “You gave us a scare.” He said, trying to break the ice. He was immensely happy his sister was alive, but she didn’t anything to do with Bellamy choosing to ignore him instead. “You saved so many people, O. Without you getting here to warn us Azgeda was coming, we’d be at war.”

“Get out.” She growled at him.

Bellamy took an unsteady breath. “Octavia, I thought you were dead.” He kept his voice soft, quiet to not crack.

“Octavia is dead.” She mumbled, staring straight ahead, numb to the emotions she should be feeling. “She died when you killed Lincoln.”

Bellamy’s heart was breaking. “Please don’t say that, O. I’m your brother.”

She turned around, slowly looking Bellamy in his eyes. “Why do you think you’re still alive.” When she turned back around, Bellamy could feel his chest constrict and he couldn’t be in here any longer. He left his sister in the med bay to hate him as she stared off, detaching herself from the world.

---

The rover was being filled by Monty and a few Arkadia soldiers, Roan watching them as you tried not to limp up to him, your arms crossed in front of you when you got his attention. “Bellamy, Clarke, and I are riding in the front. You and your men will ride in the back with the fuel.”

Roan nodded his head, but one of his men listening in didn’t like the idea. “The King of Azgeda follows no one.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “He will if he has no plans on dying today. Besides, I think your King can speak for himself.”

“It’s all right, Seiku.” Roan interrupted, raising an eye at you. “Best we stay out of sight for now.” Seiku nodded, sending you a slight glare you gave a sarcastic smile too.

As Seiku left, Bellamy walked right past you, looking upset but he didn’t stop to talk, only saying it was time to go. The last barrel was put in the rover as Monty jumped off and Clarke walked up, joining you and Roan. “We ready?” you asked as Monty nodded.

“Locked and loaded. I do, however, feel the need to reiterate, you’re about to drive the last 10 barrels of hydrazine known to man, a cargo which Raven needs every last drop of, through hostile territory packed with warring clans, over uneven roads where one serious bump could cause an explosion that would not only kill all of you but wipe out mankind’s only remaining chance at survival.” Monty’s words weren’t comforting at all, every bad situation running through your head.

“So, no pressure?” you joked obviously feeling all sorts of pressure.

Roan looked to you, Monty doing so as well as his face remained stoic. “No, Y/N. Lots of pressure.”

You sighed, nodding your head just a little. “That was a…” Monty didn’t let you finish before he walked away. You watched him leave as you finished your thought. “joke.”

Roan watched your face fall. “Everything okay?”

You looked up at him, nodding your head as fast as you could. “Yeah! Yeah, I’m- I’m fine. Just uh, I’ll be right there.” You didn’t wait for Roan to answer as you took off after your friend. “Monty!” Monty let out a huff as he stopped walking, turning annoyed to see you jog up to him. “Are we good?” you asked as you stood in front of him.

“Fine.” He shrugged but didn’t spare a glance to you.

You waited, just a second to see if he’d add more before you let out a rather sad chuckle. “Really? Because a week ago if I asked you that, you would’ve given me more than just fine.” You waited for Monty to say something more again, but he stayed silent, only making eye contact. You sighed, remembering the one thing that had changed since a week ago. “If this is about me shock lashing Jasp-“

“You didn’t need to shock him!” He interrupted you, yelling a little and catching the attention of a few people around, Including Clarke, Roan and Bellamy who watched from the rover at Monty’s voice.

You swallowed, keeping your voice calm. “I’m sorry, Monty. He was going to read the list out, at the time-“

“It seemed like the right thing?” he stopped you, filling in the rest of your sentence. You couldn’t look at him, knowing he was hitting the nail on the head. Monty scoffed at you. “You know, Clarke and you aren’t the only ones doing what they think is right for the people.” Monty backed away from you and you felt completely awful.

You turned around, frowning when you realized Bellamy, Clarke and Roan were all still watching. You took a deep breath and approached them. “What are we waiting for? Let’s get this show on the road.” You climbed into the front seat without another care, hearing the door close before you let out a shaky breath and closing your eyes as Bellamy got inside, Clarke jumping in the backseat.

While Bellamy was hurting himself after talking to his sister, he comforted you, taking his hand in yours as you sat in silence and waited for Monty’s all clear before he steered out of Arkadia.

---

Continuing his amusement while Raven worked, Murphy was throwing a ball against the wall, catching it as it bounced back. After another failed attempt at the simulation, Raven let out a scream. Murphy wasn’t surprised as he talked to her over the earpiece. “All work and no play makes Raven a dull girl.” Murphy mumbled as he tossed the ball again. Inside the rocket, Raven was growing mad at Murphy as she climbed out. Murphy furrowed his brow. “You alright?” He asked but Raven was furious.

“I’ve had enough of your stupid, little jokes!” She yelled and pushed his chest away, moving past as Murphy watched her.

“Why don’t you take it easy, huh?” He told her. Raven stopped in her tracks, turning to look at Murphy with a glare.

She narrowed her eyes as she stepped closer. “Well you’re just a self-loathing bottom-feeder. Abby’s an idiot for trusting you.” Raven got in Murphy’s face, trying to intimidate him as she spoke. “She doesn’t know you like I do.” Murphy scoffed, turning away to not let her get the satisfaction her words were getting to him. “You’re a leech, Murphy. Sucking people dry and taking whatever you can so that you can survive.”

Murphy wasn’t going to sit there and let Raven berate him like this. “At least I’m not a mental patient like you, Raven.” He pushed past her but Raven didn’t let him get far.

She grabbed his arm, pulling him back and as he was forced to turn, she swung her fist into his face. “I hate you!” She screamed over and over again, her fist laying into Murphy repeatedly. The only way Raven stopped hitting him was when Luna, who had woken up at the sound of Raven’s yells, wrapped her arms around Raven and pulled her away. “Get off me!” Raven shouted as she tried to fight the hold.

Luna brought Raven to the ground, making Raven fall into her lap. “Breathe!” Luna stressed to the angered girl. “Breathe.” Raven still fought back, was Luna was getting through.

“Should I go get Abby?” Murphy asked as he watched Luna calm her.

“No.” Luna said, looking up briefly at Murphy before focusing on Raven. “Listen to my voice Raven. Breathe in, breathe out.” She took a deep breath before speaking in Raven’s ear and rocking Raven back and forth. “I give myself to the miracle of the sea.” She whispered. “Say it Raven. Say it. I give myself,” She paused, waiting as Raven repeated after her, “To the miracle,” Raven repeated again, “of the sea.” The calming technique worked as Raven cried silently in Luna’s lap, sitting up and feeling Luna’s gloved hand rub her shoulder. “I know the darkness.” Luna said to assure Raven it was alright. “It’s okay.”

Raven took a moment to herself, running her hand over her face before her wet eyes met Murphy. Slowly she rose to her feet, Murphy eying her carefully. “Let’s go again.” Raven told him before she took off for the rocket.

Murphy scoffed softly, not surprised in Raven’s apology absence. “She’ll be alright.” Luna promised him and Murphy held back an eye roll. “Will you be?”

Not sparing her a glance, he answered. “The darkness can kiss my worthless ass.” He muttered before ripping the communication piece out of his ear and tossing it to Luna. “You’re the new Raven-sitter.” He told her before walking off, laying a kick to the remote-controlled car he was playing with earlier before leaving, completely down with Raven and her rocket.

---

Bellamy had let go of your hand a while ago to be able to drive and the three of you stayed silent. You’d been driving for a while before you finally spoke up, turning to look at Bellamy with a frown. “You want to talk about it?” You asked, seeing his face fall slightly. You spoke softly, hoping Clarke wouldn’t listen in from the back, but not particularly caring if she does.

“Keep your eyes on the trees.” He said, trying to avoid the conversation, but you wouldn’t let him.

“Well, I want to talk about it, whenever you do.” You could see Bellamy processing your words as he reached over, taking your hand and squeezing slightly before grabbing the wheel again. You bit your lip. “She’ll forgive you. It’ll take time, but she will.” This wasn’t the first time you had to assure him, but it wasn’t that easy to Bellamy.

“We don’t have much time left, do we?” He raised a brow at you and you swallowed thickly, letting your gaze fall from Bellamy.

“Yeah, you were probably right, better not to talk about it.” You muttered and looked out the front window. Bellamy turned to you, feeling bad for making you even more upset than you were after speaking to Monty. He was about to say something before the road turned and you happened across a group of grounders. “Guys.” you said, shifting in your seat to look between them and him. Clarke moved to look between you guys.

“What is it?” She asked as you all stared out the window.

Bellamy put a hand on your lap before grabbing the radio to speak to the rest of the convoy. “Hang on. We’ve got a situation.” He spoke into the radio as you sighed, realizing what it was. “Looks like a Trikru checkpoint.” Bellamy said, sharing a look with you. In the truck with the fuel, Roan and his men stood up, aware that the truck shouldn’t have been stopping.

“They have wounded.” You pointed out, sharing a look with Clarke in the back. “It’s not a checkpoint.” You both started out of the rover before Bellamy stopped you.

“Y/N, no.”

You looked at him and let out a surprised scoff. “They could be hurt and you’re saying no to helping them?”

Bellamy’s face soften, realizing what it sounded like. “No, I’m saying you can’t help them. Besides, what are they going to do when they see Skaikiler?” It was then that you both realized Clarke had already left the rover to check out the wounded. “Clarke!” Bellamy called after her, groaning when he realized it was worthless. The guys in the truck behind you called up, asking what Clarke was doing as Bellamy gave you the side eye. “Being Clarke. No one gets out.” He told them before throwing the radio down and looking at you. “Stay here.”

You couldn’t get a word in but as soon as Bellamy was out of the rover you huffed. “Screw this, I’m leaving the rover.” You muttered and opened your door, sliding out as Bellamy turned at the sound, his face falling when he saw you join them.

“Wanheda. Skaikiler.” One man said, his eyes wide as they looked between you and Clarke.

“What happened here?” Clarke asked.

The man sighed and his face fell completely. “Azgeda burned our villages to the ground. My father caught an ax with his leg and we can’t stop the bleeding.” Clarke, the man, and Bellamy all rushed over to the older man laying on the ground. You stayed back, watching from a far as well as keeping your eye on the other men and women around. Some of them seemed to be watching you curiously as Clarke tried to help.

You tried to avoid the stares you were getting as you turned back to the convoy, seeing a little boy looking at the back truck. This wasn’t going to end good. “Bellamy.” You mumbled, getting his attention as he turned, eyes widening as Clarke and him both saw the kid. You started back to the rover

“There’s nothing we can do.” Clarke told the man as she stood up, Bellamy and her asking for the road to be cleared as the man shouted for his people to move before asking for a ride to Polis. You watched the kid carefully, making sure he wasn’t going to check the back of the rover where you had Roan and his men hid, but the kid made no plan to move.

“Hey kid!” You shouted as he stopped walking and looked at you heading towards him. “Why don’t you get away from there.” you called out but he just took one big step back, looking right into the back.

“Azgeda!” He shouted as your eyes widened. A hand landed on your arm and you were about to push it away before seeing it was Bellamy.

“Get in!” He yelled at you. You opened up his door and Bellamy helped you in because of your leg as you pushed your way through to sit in your seat as Clarke climbed in the back and Bellamy took his own seat. You were moving as fast as you could but Trikru grabbed their weapons and shot towards Roan and his men in the back.

As soon as it was clear, you leaned back in your chair, letting your eyes close as your calmed down. “Well, that went well.” You joked. In your head, you were thankful you got out of the rover, if you hadn’t seen the boy, who knows when or even if Clarke and Bellamy would’ve. Bellamy didn’t say anything, just looking at you out of the corner of his eye, seeing your eyes closed. You groaned as you felt the rover stop and opened your eyes. “What now?” You asked before seeing the running water.

Bellamy picked up the radio again, telling the other truck about the problem. The three of you climb out of the rover. “Murphy didn’t say anything about a river.” Clarke pointed out as you licked your lip feeling the healing split. You pulled your leg up a little, feeling the discomfort in your knee before letting it fall again with a huff.

“What else could go wrong?” Bellamy asked sarcastically. You turned around at the sound of another footsteps, seeing Roan join you three.

“The ice melted.” He pointed out as you sighed, running a over your face. “I’ll find us a place to cross upstream.” Roan offered and started up the rivers side.

He didn’t get far before Clarke stopped him. “Take the rover. You’ll cover more ground and it’s safer.” She looked at Bellamy at the end of her statement, meaning she was suggesting Bellamy go with him.

“With him?” Bellamy clarified.

“Bell, we have to get across the river.” You reminded him, offering a sad smile. “I’ll go with you.”

“You should stay here.” Clarke pulled you aside as she gave you a look.

“I can go.”

“You should rest your leg.” You scoffed and raised your brow at her. She just rolled her eyes at you. “I know it hurts Y/N. Just stay back with the truck, I’ll watch them.”

Your face softened, knowing she was right and your leg had been bothering you since you were rushed into the rover. “Alright. You got a deal Griffin.” You smiled at her before looking to Bellamy. “I’ll guard the fuel.”

When Bellamy realized you wouldn’t be going with him, he didn’t like the idea. “You’re staying here?”

You nodded and looked at Clarke. “I’ve been benched.” You joked, seeing Clarke smile momentarily before returning to her intense demeanor. Bellamy put his hands on his hips and looked at you. “I’ll be fine. Will you?” Your eyes flickered to Roan before back to Bellamy and it didn’t take Bellamy much to know you weren’t just talking about his safety.

“We won’t be gone long.” He told you and you narrowed your eyes slightly at him, seeing him crack a smile. “I’ll be fine.” You nodded, grabbing his hand briefly once Clarke and Roan had walked away and Bellamy climbed into the rover.

Roan walked around, taking your spot but before he could get inside Seiku stopped him. “My King, we should be going with you.”

Roan shook his head. “Nothing is more important than this cargo. Keep it safe.” He ordered and Seiku nodded and watched Roan climb into the rover and Clarke got into the back like she had earlier. Bellamy’s grip on the wheel was tight as you stood outside next to him. He looked out the window, seeing your attempt at a smile before he drove away, leaving you and the men with the fuel until they got back.

---

Murphy was having a hell of a good time in Becca’s office, repeating what Luna had said to Raven earlier. Only, he wasn’t doing so great. “I creep on myself… for the miracle… of a horny mistake.” Murphy mumbled, trying to figure out why it didn’t sound right. “I creep on myself…”

Luna entered the room, raising a brow at Murphy’s failed attempt. “It’s the intention that matters.” She spoke up, getting Murphy’s attention. He sighed as she got closer. “Raven needs you, John. She’s been in there a long time.”

“In case you haven’t realized, Raven hates my guts.”

“I don’t think that was her talking.” Luna told him as she replayed Raven’s outburst in her head.

“Oh, no it was.” Murphy stopped her. “You know that little limp she’s got? Yeah, that was me.”

“I don’t think she hates you as much as you hate yourself.”

Murphy didn’t want to listen to her talk about self-hate against himself. “Why do you even care about this? You’re the miracle, right? You’re gonna live through all this radiation either way.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be the last person on earth.”

“Why not? Because that kind of sounds nice to me.”

Luna shook her head at him before moving about the room. “I don’t believe that.”

“Then you don’t know me that well.”

Luna sighed and looked at him. “I know you stole that medicine for Adria.” She began. “I know you saved Raven from the drones.”

“I’m definitely rethinking that one right about now.” He interrupted her.

Luna’s face turned blank, done with Murphy’s attitude. “I know what it’s like to hate yourself John. Because of the color of my blood, I was raised to be a killer. The Flamekeepers harnessed my rage and taught me it was nobility. For years, I reveled in death and violence. I killed my own brother. Trust me when I tell you, if I found peace, so can you.”

Murphy was listening to her words, each one of them, but he wasn’t going to accept it. “I think peace is overrated.” He told her. “It’s the fighters that survive.”

And damnit, John Murphy was going to make sure he survived.

---

Octavia’s recovery in the med bay was getting better as Niylah helped her, stretching out her muscles in her leg by  the limb to her chest. Octavia was holding her breath, trying to keep her pained expression neutral until Niylah pulled her leg away. “Stronger already.” Niylah smiled as Octavia finally breathed out. “You’ll be running around in no time.” The silence in the med bay felt weird to Niylah as she as looked around, only seeing Ilian handcuffed to a bed on the other side of the bed lines. “Where’s his guards?” She asked Octavia who shrugged, not caring enough about Ilian. Niylah sighed and slowly lowered Octavia’s leg. “That’s enough for now. I’ll come back soon.” Octavia nodded and let Niylah leave the room.

As soon as Niylah was left from the room, Ilian spoke up. “I’m glad you’re alive.” He told Octavia as he played with his ties.

Octavia clenched her jaw. “You won’t be soon.” She told him. “Jus drein, Jus daun.”

Ilian rolled his head to look at her before looking at the ceiling. “I killed no one.”

“Wrong. You killed them all.” Ilian swallowed thickly at her tone. “And now they’re gonna kill you.”

Ilian paused for a moment, thinking about his options. “I didn’t know about Praimfaya. You can tell them that. I never meant to hurt anyone.”

“The sword doesn’t care about what you meant.” She stopped him. “It just cuts.” The silence before them settled and Ilian knew he was in danger.

---

The search for another way across the river came to an end as Bellamy, Clarke and Roan found a shallow path, enough to drive the rover through. “This will work.” Roan told them as they nodded and Clarke looked up to Bellamy.

“Radio Y/N and tell her?” She asked him and Bellamy agreed and pulled the radio from his pocket.

“Y/N come in. We found a crossing. Over.” He spoke directly into the call and waited to hear your voice, only it never came. “Cargo one, can you hear me? Over.” The three of their worries were increasing as you failed to respond again, Bellamy’s worries easily becoming the worst and by now they knew you weren’t alright.

“Something’s wrong.” Roan told Clarke and Bellamy as the three of them rushed to get into the rover again, heading back to see you and the fuel hopefully safe. Bellamy was driving as fast as he could to get back to you.

They reached to where they knew you were left with the truck, but you weren’t there. In fact, no one was there. “Be careful.” Clarke told Bellamy and Roan as they climbed out of the truck, looking around for any indication you were alright.

Bellamy pulled out the radio again, his voice frantic as he called you again. “Y/N, come in. Please tell me you’re alright. Over.” As the trio was looking around, Roan’s eyes flashed into the river, seeing a sack caught onto the rotted tree stuck in the ground.

“Over there!” He shouted and the three of them took off running. They were all equally worried as they drug it out from the water, knowing there was a body inside and terrified of whose. Bellamy stared at the symbol on the front before tearing the bag away. Inside wasn’t you, instead it was one of Roan’s men. “Seiku.” Roan mumbled and looked at his fallen soldier. He looked to Clarke and Bellamy. “We all know who did this.” He growled at them. “Trikru.”

“Where the hell are the others?” Clarke began looking around, walking into the water a little way to see if more body bags were caught.

“Where’s Y/N?” Bellamy filled in his desire to know, eyeing Roan carefully.

“They took the truck to Polis.” Roan reminded them of Trikru’s ask to join the convoy earlier. “That means at least one of yours is still alive.”  They all exchanged glances before rushing to the rover and taking off. There was hope you were alive and that was enough.

---

In Arkadia’s dining hall, Jaha was sat at the bar, nursing a cup of moonshine as Hardy and the men behind him spouted off about Ilian, finding the fact he’s still alive despicable. “How much longer do we let them protect that son of a bitch? This ship was supposed to keep us alive and now we’re all gonna die.” Hardy shouted to his following as Niylah walked in, stopping in her tracks slowly as she took in the scene. The man was still talking as Niylah spotted Monty listening in.

She made her way over and whispered to him. “The boy he’s talking about is in med bay with no protection.” She told him. Monty’s eyes widened before Jasper passed him, holding a cup and moving to get more moonshine.

Monty tried to stop him before he could pour it. “You really think that’s a good idea?”

Jasper looked at him and shrugged. “Moonshine? Absolutely.” Jasper walked off, refusing his best friend’s help at recovery. Monty turned back to the crowd, talk of labeling Ilian’s actions as a hate crime and demanding he be killed for it.

Moving across the room, Monty sat beside Jaha, using a whisper voice to talk. “Are you okay with all this?” He asked knowing the people listen to Jaha.

Jaha just took the last sip of his drink. “They’re just blowing off steam.”

The statement earned a scoff from Monty as he got closer to Jaha. “Blowing off steam like we were when we strung up Murphy for killing Wells?” Monty knew it was a low blow and the look of anguish on Jaha’s face let him know he struck a nerve. Jaha asked for a refill on his drink as Jasper obliged. Monty was growing irritated as the group grew more determined for Ilian’s head. “They listen to you. Say something!” He begged. Jaha however, turned his back on Monty, refusing to offer help. “With all due respect, your son would be ashamed of you.” He headed towards the door, muttering to Niylah along the way. “I’ll get Kane.” She nodded and he was gone.

---

In an attempt to calm Raven down, Luna sat next to her in the lab, repeating her meditation mantra for Raven to hear, but the girl was not stopping. “I’ve strained the air brakes, adjusted the grid fins and I’ve reversed the thrusters.” Raven looked at the screen, hoping her changes worked but it didn’t. “Damn it! What am I missing?” Luna tried speaking louder, hoping to get in Raven’s head but Raven just groaned at her. “Mediating isn’t going to help me land this stupid ship.” She pointed out.

Murphy had left Becca’s office, standing above the lab as he watched Raven’s freak out. “No but it might keep your brain from blowing up.” He shouted as he made his way down the stairs.

At his voice, Raven’s head begun hurting and he pressed her hand to her forehead, scrunching her face up. “Oh good, he’s back.” She grumbled before focusing on the screen again. “Okay, think. To land this ship in one piece, calculating the re-entry trajectory has to be perfect, deploying the thrusters has to be perfect, the burn rate has to be perfect.”

Murphy looked to Luna with an amused smile. “Maybe perfect is your problem.” He blurted out.

Raven stopped her work. “What?”

Murphy rolled his eyes and moved closer. “Perfect sucks. Why care about perfection if Abby and you walk away with the magic potion, right?”

“A controlled crash is still a crash.”

Luna sat up from her spot and joined the duo. “Swim away.”

Raven’s head picked up as she caught on. “A controlled crash into the water. Luna, its brilliant!”

“I’m sorry, Luna?” Murphy asked taking offense in the fact it was basically his idea.

Raven ignored him as she checked to see if a water landing would work. “Damn it. The computer won’t let me execute a controlled crash.”

“Screw the computer Raven.” Murphy stopped her from getting upset. “Fly it yourself.”

She looked back at Murphy who nodded to the computer, waiting for Raven to try. “Switching to manual.” She told the computer. The computer accepted the manual override as Raven gasped and made her way to the rocket. Murphy sighed and he started to walk the opposite way, but Raven’s voice as she turned around stopped him. “Murphy! Thank you.” Murphy didn’t reply to the girl’s gratitude, not at all expecting it. He watched Raven climb back into the rocket, preparing the simulation to manually land the rocket in the water.

---

Bellamy was driving the rover even faster than he had before, this time knowing for a fact you were in danger. Roan sat in the front seat, Clarke poking her head between them as she gripped the seats.

“We have to get to them before they reach Polis with the fuel. They’ll use it to make bombs and kill everyone.” Roan told them as Bellamy scoffed.

“You mean they’ll use it to kill Ice Nation.” He corrected Roan with a side glare. “All you care about is your own people.”

Roan shook his head. “Like you’re any better. That’s all anyone cares about.” Roan paused for a minute, thinking about everything you’ve done for his people and him. “Except maybe Y/N.” he mumbled.

“Can you guys not fight about this right now?” Clarke asked as she kept her eyes out the front window. Bellamy sighed, remembering his promise before he left of being fine, meaning he wouldn’t be fighting with Roan exactly like he was now. Coming to a fork in the road, a body laid on the ground and the rover came to a halt. Bellamy was about to leave the rover before Clarke grabbed his shoulder. “Bellamy, wait.” She stopped him.

Bellamy didn’t understand why he was stopping. “They left a dead body, we can pick up their trail.” He started out again but Roan stopped him this time.

“Trikru burn their dead.” He reminded Bellamy, knowing Clarke had caught on already. “They’re still here. Back up now.” Roan ordered.

Bellamy just groaned, letting his head fall back against his seat before looking out his window. “There’s no one here. They’ve taken the truck, the fuel, and Y/N!” Bellamy reminded them both, looking at Clarke on your name for the sake of her knowing what it meant to him to find you. Turning to Roan, his voice turned cold. “If you’re such a good tracker, go track.”

It took only a second before the rover was being attacked. Trikru men jumped on the rover, rocking it enough for Clarke to stumble in the back. “You were saying?” Roan asked sarcastically to Bellamy who sent them a glare.

The Trikru grounder Bellamy spoke to earlier came running at Bellamy’s door as Bellamy pulled out his gun and pointed it at him. “I don’t want to shoot you.” Bellamy warned as the man put his hands in the air. “Where’s the truck? What have you done with it?”

“Give us the king.” The man told him and Roan was figuring out what happened.

“Bellamy.” Roan mumbled and got both Clarke’s and Bellamy’s attention. “The truck’s not here.” He told them. Bellamy’s gun was still trained on the man as he looked at Roan.

Clarke was confused as well. “How do you know that?” She asked.

“Because everyone does what’s best for their own people.” He mumbled, recalling the point of their argument just minutes ago. “It was my men who took it.”

While Roan’s back was turned, a man tried to thrust his sword through Roan’s window but Bellamy warned him, giving him the opportunity to move. At the same moment, the back door to the rover opened and Clarke jumped out of her seat to the door. The man who had opened it trying to get inside as she kicked him in the chest, sending him to the ground and he rolled off to the side. Clarke closed the door and locked it before facing front. “Bellamy. Drive!” she shouted and Bellamy didn’t need to be told twice before he backed up, knocking off a few of the men before the rover took off. The rest fell to the ground, staring off as the rover disappeared past the trees.

---

Octavia let her leg dangle off the edge of the edge of her bed as she swung her knee back and forth. She glanced over her shoulder to Ilian who laid unmoved on the bed as Kane walked in, Monty and Sgt Miller and a few more guards following after him. “Lock this room down. They’re right behind us.” The door was closed per Kane’s orders.

Monty looked at the empty room. “Where is everyone?” He asked Octavia.

“They’re out there with them.” She told him seconds before pounding occurred on the now locked door.

“Open this door!” Hardy shouted at them. Kane and David positioned themselves between the door and Ilian.

“Sir. Maybe we should reconsider.” David wasn’t so keen on fighting the mob against someone who most likely doomed humanity. Kane turned down his mention, not up for surrendering. “On the Ark, we floated people for less.”

Kane snapped at him. “Mob rule will not dictate justice in this camp.” Hardy knocked again hard, his demand for the door to open not changing.

Monty joined the men, knowing the mob wouldn’t let up. “We can’t let them in here, they’ll kill him.”

Kane took a deep breath and pulled out his gun to check the bullets. David was quick to put in his objection but Kane disagreed. “If we let them descend into darkness, there’s no coming back.”

Octavia had been listening in to everything. A dilemma was playing in her head. “It’s the end of the world Kane.” She said and everyone looked at her. “Darkness is all we have.” She stood up from her bed and hit the button to open the door despite the cries of no from Monty and Kane. Hardy and his crew filed into the room and Kane was quick to point his gun at their heads.

David was going through a dilemma of his own as well. Follow orders or do what he feels is right. His breath exhaled as slow and he pulled out his shock baton, pressing it into Kane’s back as the man fell to the ground. “I’m sorry.” He told Kane who was groaning on the ground.

Hardy grabbed Kane’s now discarded gun and stepped over him. Octavia didn’t let him get going, putting a hand on his chest. “You can have his blood, but the kill is mine.” Hardy took a moment but nodded in agreement and Octavia let him go.

Hardy’s men cut Ilian free and hoisted him to his feet despite Ilian being too weak to stand himself and they carried him out, following as Octavia now led the mob out of the med bay.

---

Since discovering it was his people who stole the truck and you, Roan and Bellamy hadn’t fought anymore. Clarke also provided a level head on their hunt as the three of the them kept their eyes sharp. Coming upon a field, Roan was the first to spot the truck driving through. “There they are!”

Bellamy sped up, stepping on gas in hopes to catch up to the rover and find you alright. What he didn’t know was you were the one sitting in the driver’s seat, one of Roan’s men sitting next to you as you drove. You were terrified but you refused to let them see it, remembering the knife you were threatened with earlier sitting in his hand. Movement caught your attention in your side mirror and after a double take, you realized your friends were coming to save you. You started to let your foot off the gas, hoping to give Bellamy enough leeway to catch up but you were caught. When the man sitting next to you saw your foot easing off the gas without a reason, he looked behind the truck, seeing the rover peak through from behind the fuel containers.

“Stop them.” He told his buddy in the back before pressing his foot on top of yours, making the truck speed up. “Keep going.”

Roan, Clarke and Bellamy watched as the man in the back started to grab the fuel barrels, bringing them to the edge of the truck as much as he could. “What the hell is he doing?”

“He’s weaponizing the fuel.” Clarke told them as her eyes grew wide.

Roan glanced back at her. “I thought you said we needed every drop.”

“We do!”

Roan turned back to Bellamy. “Get me as close as you can!” He shouted before climbing into the back. Clarke moved out of his way before shifting into his seat next to Bellamy.

“You gotta be kidding me.” Bellamy grumbled as Clarke watched Roan climb out of the top hatch.

Bellamy pulled the rover up to the side of the truck and Clarke’s eyes went wide at the sight of you driving. “Y/N?”

You looked out the window briefly, meeting Bellamy’s eyes as a knife was pressed to your neck and you were forced to look away. “Now! Roan, do it!” He shouted and Roan made his leap into the truck before Bellamy sped the rover up ahead of the truck after Clarke and him came up with a plan and he yelled at you to give him a clean shot.

Roan landed on the back with his hands on his own man and the fight begun. Roan was pinned over the barrels before he pushed the man away shoving him, but the man tripped him and Roan was pinned once again. A knife was pulled on Roan but Roan kicked it away and the man stumbled backwards as Roan got up. The fight went on, neither person winning as the fuel dragged to the edge of the truck slowly shifted every time the truck rumbled until it was hanging off. Roan had finally got the upper hand, shoving his thumb into the man’s eyes. He screamed and let his guard down enough for Roan to grab his knife from him and shove it into his chest. The man’s fighting stopped as Roan killed him, whispering traitor in his ear before kicking him off the truck. When Roan noticed the barrel moving, he grabbed it, saving it from falling as well.

One man was dead but the other still held a knife to your throat, forcing you to keep driving. You watched your boyfriend and Clarke drive ahead, you didn’t know what the plan was, but Bellamy wanted a clean shot, so obviously he had a plan. Right?

The rover stopped ahead of you, right in your path and your stomach dropped. What was he doing? When his door opened and Bellamy pointed a gun at the truck, you understood.

Bellamy hoped his plan would work, talking it over briefly with Clarke before he jumped out. His gun was pointed on the grounder, but he needed the shot. “Come on, Y/N. Come on, Baby.” He muttered to himself as he got ready.

The truck was still driving straight, your direction unmoving and as soon as the grounder saw Bellamy’s gun, he tried to turn the wheel. You threw your elbow into his nose, sending him away from you and Bellamy had his shot. The bullet pierced through the man’s head as you watched. Realizing the truck was still going, you slammed your foot onto the break, watching as Bellamy backed himself into the rover with Clarke in fear but you didn’t let it touch him as you brought the truck to a quick stop.

Once you got over the terrifying part about this situation, you couldn’t look away from Bellamy. You smiled at him, seeing his as well. Bellamy was relieved and proud at the same time seeing you drive the rover. He’d know you’d tell him they did all the work and you just managed to get kidnapped, and he was right, but he would still be proud of you.

---

Octavia was leading the mob out of the Ark, the people dragging Ilian behind her and once he was outside people began yelling at him, telling him he’s dead and supporting the mob. Monty and Kane followed the mob as well, keeping an eye on Octavia and Ilian.

“How do we stop this?” Monty asked Kane. Kane didn’t have an answer for him as Ilian was forced to the ground. Monty took off running to Octavia, hoping to break through to his friend. “Octavia, please don’t do this. You’re not a murderer.”

Octavia didn’t look as Monty as she mumbled and cocked her gun before aiming at Ilian’s head. “You’re wrong.”

Ilian looked up at her, right past the barrel of the gun. “Get it over with.”

From the door of the Ark, Jaha and Kane had a plan. “Sound the alarm, now.” Jaha spoke into his radio as Kane nodded at him. The alarm sounded in the camp, alerting everyone of the fake black rain.

“Black rain!” Kane yelled his lie as people started panicking. “Everyone get inside!” Kane and Jaha ushered everyone inside the ark until it was finally Kane, Jaha, Monty, and Octavia still holding a gun to Ilian’s head. Kane approached Octavia carefully. “Octavia. Put the gun down and come inside.” He said to her but she wouldn’t listen, her gun not leaving Ilian’s head. Kane tried something else. “They put Lincoln on his knees, too.” Octavia sucked in a breath as the memory of her deceased love filled her thoughts. “Pike stood right there where you’re standing when they put the gun against his head.”

Octavia’s hand started shaking as she thought back, remembering Lincoln falling to his knees, how he looked up to her, speaking his last words to her before Pike killed him. “I was there.” Her voice betrayed her as she let her eyes close and Lincoln’s face was all she could see.

When she opened her eyes again, her hand shook more and Kane tried again. “If you do this, you’re no better than he was.” Octavia couldn’t take holding her emotions anymore. She let them break free, dropping the gun to the ground as she sobbed. Kane jumped into comfort mood, holding her arm and mumbling assurances to her. “It’s okay. It’s okay Octavia.” Octavia ripped her arm from him as she continued to cry, needing to separate herself. She headed to the gate, starting to run as she heard Kane chase after her. “Octavia, wait! Where are you going?!” He yelled but Octavia didn’t stop running.

Kane didn’t chase her far, hoping she’s alright, but knowing she needed to be alone. He turned around in time to see Jaha cutting Ilian’s bonds and he asked Jaha what he thinks he’s doing. “Saving our people.” Jaha answered. “Same as you.” He pulled Ilian to his feet, whispering in his ear. “You should run.” Ilian nodded and groan as his feet started running, taking him away from the camp in the direction Octavia ran. “From the ashes we will rise.” Jaha spoke to Kane and Monty as they watched Ilian disappear, knowing the rest of Arkadia isn’t going to like the fact Ilian was gone.

---

After you and the fuel were saved, Clarke and Roan rode the rest of the way in the truck with the fuel as Bellamy and you rode in the Rover together. Bellamy hadn’t let go of your hand since you started the ride this time. Clarke and Roan rode in awkward silence before Clarke sighed. “You’re a good King Roan.” She said as Roan disagreed.

“A king who runs an errand while his people are at war in Polis.”

“This errand is the most important thing right now and you know that.” Clarke stopped him from hating on himself.

Roan still wasn’t at ease. “If we do save everyone, then what?” He asks, making Clarke think. “What happens once we’re all turned into Nightbloods? Do we just keep killing each other?” Clarke didn’t have enough time to answer before Bellamy spoke on the radio, telling them you’ve made it.

You jumped out of the rover once it came to a stop, looking out in the water. It was beautiful, the horizon meeting the sky seamlessly as you grinned. Roan offered to unload the fuel with Clarke giving her help as Bellamy approached you. He stood next to you, both of you staring out as he grabbed your hand.

“I’m gonna take the Rover back to camp.” He whispered as you broke out of your staring and furrowed your brows at him.

“You’re not coming with us?” you asked sadly, not wanting to leave him. He shook his head, his frown enough to tell you why. “It’s Octavia, isn’t it?”

“It’s pathetic, right?” He laughed at himself softly as you turned him to look at you. “She hates me but I keep coming back.”

“She doesn’t hate you, Bell. She’s your sister. She’s just,” you stopped yourself, trying to find the right words, “She’s just confused right now. She knows how special you are and how important you are. She’ll come back to you.”

Bellamy’s hand squeezed yours as you smiled, hoping he’ll see you were right. He hated thinking about leaving you, he wanted to stay with you and Clarke, but he knew he had to go back for his sister, unaware of the fact his sister just left the camp.

“You’ll come back to me, right?” His voice was quiet as you smiled and brought a hand up to his cheek, cupping it and running your thumb across it.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily, Blake.” You joked and Bellamy laughed, feeling slightly better in the promise you were coming back to him. You leaned up, pressing a kiss to his lips as he held your waist, pulling you into him. It was a goodbye kiss and an I’ll-see-you-soon kiss all in one, but one that was also broke apart by Clarke calling you both. You separated, sharing confused looks before jogging back to the rover.

Roan and Clarke were in the truck bed and moved one of the barrels, it wasn’t until it was done moving before you saw the arrow piercing through the bottom. “Trikru arrow.” Roan said before kicking the barrel out of the truck. It clattered to the ground as you looked up at an equally defeated and stressed Clarke. You had 10 barrels and you needed every last drop.

---

“Manual override.” Raven spoke to the computer as she grabbed the rocket’s controls.

“Manual Override engaged.” The computer told her and she let out a steady breath to hype herself up. “Landing pad within range at 600 feet.” She focused on the screen, watching as the water came in view, the rocket heading right towards it as the computer prepared her. “Brace for impact.” The rocket simulation ended once she hit the water. “Mission failed.” Yet Raven wouldn’t consider it failed just yet. “Exterior damage 15 %. Cargo destruction 0%. Fatality 0%.”

Raven was shocked as she read over the outcomes again. “We’re good.” She mumbled. She started to unbuckle herself, a smile spreading on her face as she spoke louder. “We’re good!” She repeated herself happily once more as she stepped out of the rocket. “Took every last drop of fuel, but I did it. I can put her down on the water just offshore.” Murphy and Luna approached her slowly with frowns. “We can survive.” When their expressions didn’t change, Raven’s stomach dropped. “What’s wrong?”

“Clarke just radioed. They lost a barrel.”

“What?” Raven gasped out.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered but Raven couldn’t hear him. She started sucking in for a breath, her head paining her as she clutched it. “Raven?”

Raven’s seizure caused her to collapse on the ground. Murphy took off running, calling for Abby as loud and as fast as he could. Luna fell to the ground as well, trying her best to protect Raven’s head before seeing her mouth starting to foam. “Raven, it’s going to be okay. It’s okay, Raven.”

10 barrels.

Make that 9 now.

A/N: If you hadn’t, be sure to check out the Bonus Chapter!

Tags are open!

Permanent: @literal-fand0m-trash @just4muggles @nathaliabakes @colored-confetti @wiseeggspickleslime @btsiguess-kpop @galacticstxrdust @independentgirl @hollymac79 @delicately-important-trash @emcchi @rauwz @herondalescecilys @chewymoustachio @smilexcaptainx @faith-quake @clarkesplaylist @johnmurphyisbisexual

Bellamy: @jodiereedus22 @mysterioustruffle @danielabetancourth @a-sweet-little-fangirl @werosies

Banished: @strangerliaa @peter-parker-tony-stank-trash @abysshaven @poisoned-girl @captainam-erika-trash @annoylinglyaries @peqchynero @buckysjuicyplums @your-typical-giggle @thelastdragon6 @savannah0111 @mckeeee-1 @disneychic8 @hyperion-moonbabe-art3mis @oopsiedoopsie23 @crashlyrose @miindfvl @hurricane-abigail @thebookisbtr @txladyj-blog @lauren-100 @mrsjandrews @astroninaaa @broco8 @kittymcdougall12 @capsheadquaters @mikariell95 @acciowinchester @samustar @trashmouth-lizzy @where-are-you-everywhere @smol-book-nerd @cashmereandtears @lilacs-lavender @itsthelastcatastro-phe @sireddobrev @fashion-travel @awkwardspontaneity @jacobblacksbitch @livlynn24