#and no one cares about the australian production so sucks to suck

[sea-jello]

every day i live knowing i will never get australian boyf riends content

[lunapaper]

Album Review: 'Past // Present // Future' - Meet Me @ The Altar

Part of the current pop punk resurgence that includes WILLOW, pinkshift, Olivia Rodrigo and (ugh) Machine Gun Kelly, Meet Me @ The Altar have fought to defend the genre at all costs, sticking faithfully to the blueprint mapped out by their forebears Paramore and Fall Out Boy on their 2021 EP, Model Citizen. 

Not much has changed on their debut album, Past // Present // Future. The propulsive beats and snarling riffs remain, along with the cliché-riddled angst that has long made pop punk the subject of ridicule.  

It’s rock by committee courtesy of Jonas Brothers producer John Fields, hell bent on watering down each guitar riff and compressing every vocal, hiding it all behind an impenetrably glossy veneer. In other words, it’s more Radio Disney that RIOT! 

‘Say It (To My Face)’ incorporates some drum n’ bass into its emo-lite punk thrash as vocalist Edith Victoria taunts back at the haters ‘You're so irrelevant, almost didn't commit/Almost didn't write you a second verse/Really wish I could stay, gotta fly to LA/Play a show at The Wiltern.’ I guess I’m considered one of them now (Though Australian homes don’t normally have basements).  

‘Try’ is Sum 41-esque, offering high school-level wisdom in the form of ‘I go through all the same things too/It sucks, it’s true.’ ‘Hello in there Mr. I don’t care/I’ve had better conversations with my wall and my dog,’ she later muses on ‘Same Language,’ its chorus eerily reminiscent of Katy Perry’s ‘Waking Up in Vegas,’ while ‘T.M.I.’ is rather Avril-like as Victoria bares her soul over fuzzy guitars and explosive drums. 

And so the clichés go: ‘I think I'm the worst/Criticize everything 'til it hurts’ (from ‘T.M.I’) ‘Still stuck in your mothers basement/Talk trash, but you're like a million miles away’ (from ‘Say It (To My Face’)) ‘Don't be afraid to let go of the pain/Flowers only bloom if you get through the rain’ (from ‘Rocket Science’), each one more vapid than the last. 

Some of this can be attributed to a trio of early twentysomethings still navigating their way through life, love and other anxieties. Most of it, however, reeks of others trying to mould the band into something they’re totally not, namely writer/producer John Ryan, who co-wrote most of the album’s tracks. 

He’s written for such artists as Harry Styles, Maroon 5, Rita Ora, Pitbull, Jason Derulo, DJ Snake, Fifth Harmony and, funnily enough, Katy Perry and Nick Jonas. He also co-wrote some of One Direction’s biggest hits, including ‘Story of My Life,’ ‘Steal My Girl’ and ‘Best Song Ever.’ 

Why some cheesy pop maestro was assigned to work with a queer pop punk trio of colour (the first ever signed to Fueled By Ramen) is anyone’s guess. Rather than make the songs feel like their own in any way, Ryan and the band just churn out a bunch of bland pop punk tunes about makeups and breakups indistinct from their peers. 

Though there are glimmers of what could’ve been: the hazy ‘Kool’ echoes the headiness, thrill and nauseating anxiety you feel when crushing hard on someone. ‘It’s Over for Me’ has a jackhammer-style energy, while standout ‘A Few Tomorrows’ is dream-spun folk pop straight out of the early 2000s, with Victoria’s snarky, razor-sharp wail softened into a soothing coo. It sort of reminds me John Mayer’s ‘Back To You,’ the kind of song that would play during a montage after the inevitable breakup scene of a teen film or in a CW drama (‘Back To You’ was in Win a Date With Tad Hamilton!, btw). 

Meet Me @ The Altar’s debut comes just as the pop punk renaissance seemingly reaches its saturation point. Everything here is just so bland: The riffs are repetitive, the writing uninspired and the production squeaky clean and painfully edgeless. 

And it’s a shame, because the band have proven in the past that they can do raw and real on 2019’s Bigger Than Me EP, a true love letter to pop punk that showcases the trio’s deft musicality and knack for punchy hooks, from the math rock-style breakdown on ‘Beyond My Control’ to the post-hardcore urgency on ‘Tyranny.’ Hell, even Model Citizen dabbled in a little nu-metal.  

2018’s Changing States is also worth a listen: The vocals are imperfect and the songs sprawling and loose, lacking any real structure. It sounds like it was recorded in a wardrobe, but that’s what adds to its beauty and charm. I’d even go so far as to compare it to Fall Out Boy’s earlier albums.  

What could’ve been a powerful mission statement for the band, a chance to expand on their scrappy, bratty charm, becomes yet another generic power pop record. Past // Present // Future will probably be an album that Meet Me @ The Altar end up distancing themselves from it once they creatively find their feet again. Hopefully no one linked to the JoBros will be involved in the next one... 

- Bianca B. 

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

I went to see a local (Australian) professional production of Phantom recently. Did the animatronic set pieces make me insane? Yes. Did the costumes in Masquerade make me tear up a little because they were so beautiful? Definitely. Did it make me like the show in any way shape or form? Absolutely not, the characters suck and the plot is terrible. No amount of amazing sets and pretty singing is going to change the fact that the show is one of ALW’s worst - and that’s saying something

This is such a based take, anon.

I agree. If a musical doesn’t have good characters, nothing is going to save it, not the set design, not the props, not the costumes, not even a handful of good songs, because you can’t get past the fact that you don’t like the people singing them or care about their story. I can accept a musical having a plot that isn’t super strong as long as the music and characters are compelling, but when the characters suck, a shitty plot becomes less negligible. The love triangle is just really fucking unlikable, as individuals and together, and to me, the popularity of Phantom only exemplifies how straight love stories are able to get away with being terrible because mainstream audiences will eat up any heterosexual relationship.

I haven’t listened to all of ALW’s work and I obviously love Jesus Christ Superstar, but other than that show, I haven’t been very impressed, and that’s not even mentioning how people give him all the credit even though he never writes any of the lyrics. I think he’s overrated.

[beatriceeagle]

I'm more of a fantasy than sci-fi person, but consider my interest piqued. Why should I watch farscape?

Okay, the thing is, every Farscape fan’s pitch on Why You, Yes You, Should Watch Farscape ends up sounding very similar, and that’s because Farscape is a black hole that sucks you in and does things to your brain, and after you’ve watched it you are never, ever the same, which incidentally is basically the plot of Farscape.

I would summarize the basic plot for you, but that’s work, and luckily, the show’s credits sequence includes a handy summary that I will provide instead of doing that work: “My name is John Crichton, an astronaut. A radiation wave hit, and I got shot through a wormhole. Now I’m lost in some distant part of the universe on a ship, a living ship, full of strange alien life forms. Help me. Listen, please. Is there anybody out there who can hear me? I’m being hunted by an insane military commander. Doing everything I can. I’m just looking for a way home.“

So let me break down that monologue into its component reasons you should watch Farscape.

1) Some of the strange alien life forms are Muppets.

Farscape a co-production with the Jim Henson Company, and while there are many aliens played by humans in make-up, there are also a considerable number (including two of the regular crew) who are Muppets. By which I do not mean Kermit. I mean really gorgeous, elaborate works of art.

Also, even a lot of the humans-in-makeup aliens just look cool, and incredibly weird. Here’s an alien who appears in a single episode of season 1:

Not that there aren’t, you know, occasional Star Trek-style “these guys are just humans with weird hair,” or whatever, but in general, the aliens on Farscape look really alien. And that’s more than an aesthetic choice; it’s Farscape’s driving narrative principle. The aliens look alien, they act alien, they have alien values.

You know how a lot of sci-fi shows will have a stand-in for “fuck,” like Battlestar Galactica has “frak”? Well, Farscape has “frell.” And also “dren.” And yotz, hezmana, mivonks, loomas, tralk, snurch, eema, drannit, dench, biznak, arn, drad, fahrbot, narl. Some of those are swear words, but some of them are just words, never explicitly translated, that the alien characters will pepper into their speech, because, well, why should translator microbes be able to completely translate all the nuances of an alien culture? You’ll pick it up from context. One time, in passing, a character mentions that he’s familiar with the concept of suicide, but there’s no word for it in his language. I cannot emphasize to you enough how fleeting this moment is; the episode is not about suicide, we’re not having a great exchange of cultural ideas—at the time, the characters are running down a corridor in a crisis, as they are about 70 percent of the time—it’s just that the subject got brought up, and this character needed to talk around the fact that he literally didn’t have a word, in that moment. Things like that happen all the time, on Farscape.

Because more than anything else, Farscape is a show about culture shock. John Crichton is this straight, white Southern guy, at the top of his game—he’s an astronaut! he’s incredibly high status!—and then he ends up on the other side of the galaxy, where none of his cultural markers of privilege hold any meaning, where he doesn’t know the rules, where he literally can’t even open the doors. And he has to unlearn the idea that humanity is central, that he is the norm.

2) John Crichton, an astronaut, is pretty great.

A show that’s about a straight white guy with high status having to learn that he’s not the center of the universe could easily be centered around a really insufferable person, but one of the subtle things that makes Farscape so wonderful is that Crichton is, for the most part, pretty excellent. He has a lot of presumptions to unlearn because almost anyone in his cultural position would, but he’s also just a stand-up guy: compassionate, intelligent, open-minded, decent, forgiving, brave, hopeful.

And the galaxy tries to kick a whole lot of that out of him. It doesn’t succeed, mostly, but if Farscape is about anything other than culture shock, it’s about the lasting effects of trauma. How you can go through a wormhole one person, and experience things that turn you into someone you don’t recognize.

That’s kind of grim-sounding, but ultimately, what I’m trying to say is that Farscape is almost fanatically devoted to character work. Crichton is not the only character who sounds like he should be one thing and ends up being another. All of the characters—all of them, all of them, even the annoying ones—are complicated wonders. And you don’t have to wonder whether the events of the episode you’re watching are going to matter. They will. Everything that happens to the characters leaves a mark. Everything leaves them forever changed. Whether it’s mentioned explicitly or not—and often enough, it’s not explicit—the characters remember what has happened to them.

3) The living ship houses a lot of excellent women, among them the ship itself.

Ah, the women of Farscape, thou art the loves of my fucking life.

There’s Aeryn Sun, former Peacekeeper (that’s the military that the “insane military commander” hails from) now fugitive, currently learning the meaning of the word “compassion” (literally). She will break your fingers and also your heart. John/Aeryn is the main canon romantic ship.

There’s Pa’u Zhoto Zhaan, a priestess of the ninth level, current pacifist, former anarchist. Sorry, leading anarchist. She orgasms in bright light! (Oh my god, Farscape.)

There’s Chiana, my fucking bestie, a teenage(ish? ages in Farscape are weird) fugitive on the run from a repressive authoritarian state. Chiana is like a seductress con artist grifter thief who mostly just wants to survive so that she can have fun, damn it. Characters on Farscape do not really discuss sexualities (sex, yes, sexualities, no) and it would be fair to say that several of them do not fall along human sexuality lines generally, but I’m gonna go ahead and say that Chiana is canonically not straight.

Then there’s Moya, the ship herself, and it’s hard to get a straight read on Moya’s personality, since she mostly can’t speak. But she definitely has opinions, and things and people she cares about. And she moves the plot, though that gets into spoiler territory.

Past first season, further excellent women show up: Jool (controversial, but I like her), Sikozu (I once saw a Tumblr meme where someone had marked down that Sikozu would lose her shit when someone pronounced “gif” wrong, and that’s absolutely correct, and it’s why I love her), and Noranti (who is incredibly weird, and incredibly hard to summarize, but man, you gotta love her willingness to just show up and do her thing). Plus, there’s a recurring female villain, Grayza, who I could write probably multiple essays about. (I don’t know how you will feel about Grayza, as not everyone loves her, but I think she’s fucking fascinating, especially because she’s not actually the only recurring female villain. We also get Ahkna!)

(Side note: I should mention, here, that the cast of Farscape is really, really white. There is one cast member of color, Lani Tupu, but he pretty much represents the entirety of even, like, incidental diversity in casting for the series.)

Anyway, Farscape is full of awesome women, and also awesome and unexpected men, and it really enjoys playing with audience expectations of gender roles, generally. Literal entire books have been written about the way that Farscape fucks around with sex, sexuality, and gender. It’s a little weird because it was the late 90s/early 2000s, and sometimes that does come through, but Farscape’s guiding principle was always to try not to present American culture of the time as the norm, so like. It is not.

(An aside on Farscape and sex: Literally every character on Farscape has sexual tension with every other character. If you are a shipper, this is a Good Show, because no matter who you ship, there will not only be subtext, you will get a Moment of some kind. Multiple characters kiss the Muppet. Farscape is dedicated to getting into the nitty-gritty of the galaxy—I like to think of it as showing the guts of the universe—so a lot of the show is kind of squishy. They live on a biomechanoid ship, instead of androids there are “bioloids,” there’s a lot of focus on strange alien biologies, and lots of weird glowing fluids and things. I think the sex thing is kind of part and parcel of the larger biology focus: Farscape is really fascinated with how we all eat and evolve and live and die and, well, fuck. Which is in turn, kind of part of its focus on making everything really alien.)

4) Other stuff you should know.

Farscape as a whole is excellent, but it was kind of the product of creative anarchy—an Australian/American coproduction (oh yeah, everyone except Crichton speaks with an Australian accent) that was also partnered with the Henson company, whose showrunners were based in America but whose actual production all took place in Australia, and who was just constantly trying new things. So individual episodes can vary wildly in quality. It really takes off in the back half of season one, but no season is without a few off episodes.

It is extraordinarily funny, and I really think I haven’t stressed that enough. It’s one of the shows I want to quote the most in my daily life, but almost all of its humor is really context-dependent, and if you just wander around going, “Hey Stark? What’s black and white, and black and white, and black and white?” people look at you really funny.

It’s very conversant with pop culture generally (although obviously sci-fi  specifically, and Star Trek most specifically of all) and really enjoys deconstructing tropes, often to the effect of, “Well, Crichton really does not know what to do here, does he?” but sometimes just to be interesting.

There are also a lot of themes about science, and its uses and misuses.

The whole thing is fucking epic, and if you get invested at all, will take you on an emotional ride.

This show is weird. I know that that’s probably come across by now, but I think it’s worth reiterating as its own point: Farscape is so weird. Like, proudly, unabashedly, trying its hardest, weird. An amazing kind of weird.

If you’re into fantasy, you should know that there’s a recurring villain who’s just a wizard. Like, they don’t bother to explain it any more than that, he’s just a fucking wizard.

In summary: You should watch Farscape because it is a weird, wild, emotional, epic romance/drama/action/allegory full of Muppets and leather and one-liners and emotional gut punches and love, and if you let it, it will worm its way into you and never let go, which, now that I think of it, is another Farscape plot.

Send me meta prompts to distract me from my migraine!

[dichenlachmandaily]

Talk beauty with incredible beauty Dichen Lachman? Yes, please! In addition to her diverse acting credits —  she can be seen in next year’s “Jurassic World: Dominion,” and in “Severance,” the upcoming Ben Stiller-directed series airing on Apple TV+ — Dichen has a diverse background that is at least partially responsible for her stunning, singular appearance. Born in Nepal, her father Australian, Dichen says she has eclectic taste and likes “to try different looks.” From brows to Botox, we discussed all things aesthetic with the actress and mom to five-and-a-half-year-old, Mathilda.

The Bare Magazine: First, let’s talk about your cool background, born in Nepal, raised in Australia. What did you internalize from each place about beauty?

Dichen Lachman: In Nepal, makeup was very linked to the culture; the third eye and the kohl around the eyes. They even put the theekha on little babies. In the West, it’s not linked to anything spiritual. It’s more about aesthetics and trends. I like observing how all cultures incorporate makeup into their identity. I find it fascinating. In terms of me, I don’t wear a lot of makeup unless I need to do a work thing — I’m more interested in taking care of my skin than painting it.

Bare: Perfect segue! How do you take care of your skin?

DL: As a mom, I really don’t have a lot of time to take care of it. I use witch hazel to clean my skin, and there are a few different products from different lines that I’ll mix and match. It’s kind of a journey finding the right product as a woman, and as you get older, your skin changes.

Bare: Speaking of getting older, who do you think is doing it well and with grace?

DL: I’ve been embracing this idea over the last few years: If it feels good and you’re inspired to do it, and you’re not hurting anybody, then do it. It’s easy to see somebody and say “that’s a lot of work,” but if they’re happy…Of course, in some cases it goes into body dysmorphic territory, but I think that’s when it is up to the people around you to check in and ask, “Are you okay?”

Bare: It’s a slippery slope, for sure.

DL: It’s really interesting, there are so many people in this business, and they’re aging so gracefully, and then you find out they’ve had work. But, like, I get it because it’s a business where people have to look at you. And also technology is so advanced that when you see your face through a filter you’re, like, ‘look how I great I look!’ and then you take it off and you’re, like, ‘oh dear God, who is that? I like the other person!’ I don’t like that we are doing this to ourselves. It’s nice to look and feel good, and it’s nice to take a good picture. A little manipulation is nice, but when it gets to a point where it’s unattainable, that only makes us feel worse. I think it will take a generational push back to change it. Maybe my daughter’s generation will be, like, ‘oh my God you filtered your face?’

Bare: What message do you hope to pass on to your daughter about beauty?

DL: Just that she’s enough. She likes to play with makeup and stuff like that. And sometimes she sees me using it and wants to try it. I tell her she doesn’t need it. Children are beautiful. They don’t need anything. In fact, keeping it simple is a good policy for any age. Less is more.

Bare: Do you ever see yourself getting Botox or fillers?

DL: I did do “Baby Botox” once. I tried it because I have a completely crooked smile, so I went to a derm out of curiosity at the end of 2019 and I was, like, ‘I don’t want to do anything, I just want to know what you see here, and what should I do.’ Half an hour later I was, like, ‘sure, let’s try a tiny bit of Botox here.’ It helped straighten out my smile.

Bare: Do you have any beauty idols?

DL: There are so many incredible, gorgeous women out there. Madonna, of course, embracing so many different looks. She was a trailblazer. There are a lot of beautiful actresses from the 50’s, too. And my mom! She didn’t wear any makeup — she didn’t even pluck her eyebrows. Her mom would rub butter on her face as moisturizer.

Bare: Do you have a favorite on-screen look of yours?

DL: In so many shows, I’m covered in dirt or blood! I think in terms of beauty, the makeup artists on “Altered Carbon” did an amazing job. My face is very strange, not everyone knows what to do with it. I have a lot of surface area, and my eyes are Asian, so they’re not always easy to do. It’s very easy to make me look over the top.

Bare: Shifting to more spiritual things, do you have any wellness practices?

DL: I love meditating and thinking about creative ideas or things. I do that while I’m cleaning. I think that your environment informs how you feel, so I like creating a nice environment…even if it is ultimately destroyed by my daughter. I find it meditative. My husband is, like, “You’re vacuuming again?” But it’s so satisfying to hear the crumbs get sucked up by the vacuum cleaner — and you can see real progress. I like painting for that reason, too. I painted a house with a friend. It’s rewarding to see things change right in front of your eyes.

Bare: We’d be remiss if we didn’t ask about your tattoo. What does it say?

DL: It’s actually a Virgil tattoo, which is hilarious because I didn’t know it at the time, but apparently it’s common to get a Virgil tattoo. I was in Cardiff Castle in Wales, and in the ladies’ tea room I saw one of his quotes: “Love conquers all things, so we too shall yield to love.” So I wrote it down, and at one point I decided to get it inked on myself. I could have many more, but I don’t like sitting in the makeup chair getting them covered all the time.

Bare: We like to close our interviews by asking our subjects for their Bare Essentials. As in, what do you absolutely need in life?

DL: Probably Witch Hazel for my skin. I get it at Target. I love aloe vera from the garden, too. But what I really couldn’t live without is my family. Even if I need alone time sometimes.

Editor: Didi Gluck

Photos and makeup: Tina Turnbow using Ogee

All clothing from Zara

[zendaycoolman]

kissing booth ( zoah )

being anxious was something that zendaya knew pretty well through life. either for an audition or a premier, it was such an ordinary feeling that she learned how to deal on every stepp of it. from the delight of doing something new, to the paralyzing fear in face of frustration, she made peace with all the stages. that, right now, was comming handy. after checking the dylan box of her day, it was time to hunt down her boyfriend: "( text ) guess what? you don't have to fly to me i just did it for you", her sweaty palms texted him and didn't get a reply. it didn't matter, she was feeling everything at the same time already - z wanted to find him fast and hug the man, have him around her in anyway possible, but at the same time, she was terrfied of what she would happen when they saw each other after a month. would the feeling be the same? would they still connect in the same level? matter is, she didn't stop herself until she finally found the netflix and chill stand. even tho z didn't know the outcame, she took care of her side of the deal and tried to be as presentable as possible. she wanted to give him a sight, which was stupid, she knew it, but she allowed herself to indulge her romantic self. her hair was down to thin braids, which would grant her a certain amount of anonymity for a few days. using the summer as excuse, she choose a cropped white shirt, braless and flowy caqui pants. simple, but effective. holding her phone tight betwen her long fingers, she tried to swim among people standing in line or simply clustered around the small stage. daya could hear noah and camila's and couple of other voices on the microphone, answering questions and laughing. using their laughter as a guide, she came close to a production assistant who recognized her, but didn't do much but step aside to make sure zendaya could get an actual view of the stage. they were there, smiling to each other, answering dating related quesitons, just portraying the great chemistry they had. it made her remember her and tom a lot, so she just tilted her head, as if she was getting comfortable to watch the show. her attention was cut short by the voices of the fans next to her. "i could eat him like a cookie", one said. "oh, the things i would let him do to my cookie", other repplied. "when is lana comming? i’m sure she is not here now so we don’t spot that she and noah are actually dating", a third one joined the debate. and now that she was aware, pretty much every girl around her was making either dirty, passionate or simply ludacris comments about noah - and his body. after checking with the producer that the Q&A had just started, zendaya felt dumb to be there. he was working, this fans were there to see him, what was she doing there? noah had clearly not seen her at the edge of the crowd yet, so the girl turned her back and decided to walk through the carnival. somehow seeing him made her anxiety worst and better at the same time. there was a four letter word for the thrill she felt when she first laid eyes on him today. either love or fear. roaming and intending to find something cold to drink to wash that doubt down, it was at that moment that she heard an australian accent calling for her name. "zendaya!", jacob elordi, as tall as she could remember, holding two cups of green juice, z's favorites. he came closer and the next hour was just a blur in her head. they ended up sitting at on a closed actual kissing booth, guarded by security, on a very tacky red lips shaped sofa. he was repeating everything he had told her over texts about how hard was to work on the movie and being around joey and the fans pressure and whatever else his own lips were moving for, and all zendaya could do to respond to that was to nod and suck in the juice straw. her mind was still at noah's, still felling that being there so early was a silly move and trying to grasp for an excuse to end this conversation and go backstage already. minutes later, it looked like heavens heard her, because jacob got several texts and it seemed it was his time to hit the netflix stand. suddenly he was looking at someone else that was standing close to them now, but z didn't mind to check who. "soray that they made you come for me, bloke", jacob manly voice talked to the person next to him and that made zendaya look up. the bloke was noah. centineo. her boyfriend. and he probably wasn't there for jacob, but he did had the tendency to think things were about him sometimes. "noe--", noey, that what z's partly fadded voice wanted to say, but now she was trying to correct that mistake. "-ah. noah. that's your name right?", and quickly as that, she got into character, nodding both at noah and jacob. the australian came closer to her one last time and kissed z on the top of her head, whisppering something like thanks to her ear. passing through noah, jacob gave the man a shoulder tap and for some reason his hands sounded heavier than needed. now, they were alone. zendaya and noah. after all that, all z could think of doing was to smile. "this is way harder than i thought it would be", was the first thing she decided to say to him. "seeing you and immeadily kiss you feels insane", she said, still sitting on the ridiculous couch, whithin a secure distance between them, as she was looking up to try to fit noah in her vision field. right now, she hoped she wouldn't lose sight of him anytime soon. @ncahcentinechq

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia, I hope you’re well. Please feel free to ignore this if it’s too personal... but how do you deal with death as a concept when you have the chronic illnesses that you do? Are you afraid to die, and if you are, how do you keep from constantly thinking about how you could die early (so to speak) if your health takes a turn? I’ve had a lot of health scares recently and it’s getting harder and harder to just live without feeling constantly afraid. Thank you for everything you do.

Hi anon!

Firstly, I am very sorry to hear about your health scares. They suuuuuck. They really suck. I’m replying partly out of solidarity, but I don’t know if I have anything that will really work for you, because sometimes I really struggle to find things that work for me, but I’m happy to share what I’ve picked up along the way. <3 And I hope in the meantime that things pick up for you.

The timing of this is pretty spot on, in that I’m going through pretty serious scanxiety at the moment (what we call ‘anxiety around getting scans for cancer’ in my cancer support group that I’m a member of). I had a full body PET scan two weeks ago (no results yet), and I have a head/neck MRI on Friday, for which I can hopefully get the results Mon/Tuesday. But I don’t have my follow up with my Endocrinologist until late July, so I won’t know for about 6 weeks if I have any new tumours in my abdomen.

I definitely don’t want to die from this disease, and it will probably be the thing that kills me. Not any time soon, that’s less likely, but it’s just...likely overall. A lot of the statistics are stacked against me, I have three primary tumours in my head/neck, and there’s no indication that my body is going to stop growing them, and there’s no cure and likely to be no cure in my lifetime.

So yeah, I get anxious. I am afraid to die (I mean in general, unless I’m suicidal, but also specifically the way this disease is likely to kill me: progressively taking my hearing, my ability to swallow and talk, my ability to move my arms and my head and my neck, my sense of balance and ability to walk upright without collapsing, and more - which doesn’t even count metastatic disease - is a horrible way to die). And I live with the knowledge that like, it literally takes one scan result to change my entire life all over again (hence, scanxiety).

BUT, living in constant fear is just...not helpful. It’s understandable, it is an understandable emotional response, but it’s not a helpful response. Because what matters most in these scenarios is quality of life; and you get quality of life (in chronic illness and acute disease) by managing emotional outcomes as vigilantly and with as much self-compassion (and patience) as possible. So these are the things that work for me, if they don’t work for you, that’s fine, some might even feel completely wrong for you, that’s also fine and normal. The things we tell ourselves to cope in this are deeply personal. I hate the phrase ‘fuck cancer’ for example, other people who have cancer use it as a battle cry and feel strong because of it.

***

* ‘Can I literally do anything more than I’m doing to change the outcomes of my illness without hurting myself? No? Then admit you have no control over this and let it go.’ This is something I tell myself when I start panicking. ‘But what if I get this result what if this happens what if this tumour starts growing again what if.’ I just look at myself sternly and say: ‘HOW is this helpful?’ It’s NOT. Knowing the answers to any of those what ifs changes nothing in the moment except my anxiety, distress and fear levels. And then I say ‘so WHAT would be helpful? What do you have control over?’ And then I might wait and think... ‘well...I really like that Youtube channel One Meal A Day I might watch one of those videos’ or ‘well...I might journal about my feelings and give them some space (see further down) and then try and let them go because just cycling around them isn’t productive.’ Sometimes we hang onto anxiety because our brain convinces us it will somehow be helpful. With this stuff it rarely is.

* WORRY TIME. Yay worry time! Set aside 5-20 minutes a day (or every three days, or once a week, but you might need to start with once a day when things are really bad) to write down ALL of your worries about your illnesses. All the irrational things, the logical things, ALL of it, no matter how embarrassing. And omg, chase those worries down. Really sit and be with your worry. Give it space. Let it speak! But do it with the intention that once those 5-20 minutes are over, that’s it. You’re done. If your worries start up again, say gently to yourself: ‘You told me all of this during Worry Time, but if this is new, please save it for tomorrow, I will give you space to share with me then!’ Treat your worry like a little animal that doesn’t know any better, and has to be taught some boundaries. Worry Time becomes the boundary. That doesn’t mean you won’t feel anxious the rest of the time, just if you do, it’s easier to step back mindfully and go ‘huh, I’m anxious right now, that’s really interesting, but I’m going to do something about that tomorrow, and so for now I’m just going to acknowledge it but I’m going to try not to let it ruin my day.’

* ‘Everything right now, this moment, this second is exactly the way it should be.’ This is Taoism, and some people hate it. I use this most often when I’m in excruciating pain, or terrified, or literally in a panic attack. I don’t know why it helps so much, but it does. And I think it’s because it works like this: ‘Everything right now, this moment, this second is exactly the way it should be. Terrible things are happening all over the world. Other people are feeling pain like I am. Animals and plants go on living and dying. Right now everything in this moment is perfect messy imperfection and I am a part of that, a small cog in a huge ecosystem. I am a part of something, I belong in this, and I hate it - I really hate it - but even that is part of that messy imperfection. It just is. And therefore, I can release any attachment or urgency to change the things that I cannot change.’ And then...I will still be in pain, or having a panic attack, or terrified, but it will feel integrated and connected to me. It will feel like it’s a part of something. Still, ultimately, sometimes useless but...even useless excesses of terror are a part of the messy imperfection of life.

This leads onto the second:

* ‘In this moment, I am okay.’ Not like, literally 100% healthy. I’ll never be that. But I’m okay. I’m okay as a person and a human being who deserves love and comfort, and I’m okay to just grab another minute to feel okay. You can pair this with mindfulness meditation, and Smiling Mind has a great free app, and most of the meditations are between 5-8 minutes long. Sometimes ‘I’m okay’ doesn’t mean ‘I feel okay’ - and that’s okay too! I’m not trying to erase my emotions, I’m not trying to make myself never feel afraid of dying, that is an appropriate response to something that literally threatens my life but isn’t doing it urgently right this second. And because it’s not doing it right this second, well, right this second, I’m okay.

* Goals that have nothing to do with your health. For me, probably pretty obviously, it’s my writing and my art and similar. I have responsibilities towards my loved ones and my animal companions. Sometimes just...putting my head down and getting stuff done helps take my mind off things, and that also makes me feel productive and like I’m more than my illnesses. Socialising is a part of this. You are so much more than your illnesses, but you have to live that way too, that’s your responsibility to yourself, to remember that you are more, and then to embrace that in your actions (I mean, keeping in mind spoons/energy levels), even when you’re not always feeling it.

* Look at the things you can control and shore them up where you can. Like, consider writing a will. One of the things I’ve had to do is consider what I’ll do if I get sick so quickly I can never finish Fae Tales or never write anything again. These practical steps can be distressing, but sometimes they can answer background anxieties you didn’t know you had, and put them to bed. ‘I don’t need to worry about this, I’ve already done this part.’ Sometimes it’s just knowing that every time you see a specialist, you’re going to write down your questions, so you no longer need to worry about forgetting them. Things like that seem little, but they add up as background anxieties we do have control over.

* If you can afford it; Therapy. Depending on your illness/es, there may be support groups. Some are dodgy as shit (Fibromyalgia groups have categorically been the worst spaces I’ve ever encountered for genuine support), but generally speaking for serious illnesses, there are support groups. They can be an incredible resource. I help moderate the Australian/New Zealand Para/Pheo Support Group (there’s only one, lol), and like sometimes it’s depressing (people I care about do, on occasion, die), but knowing I’m not alone, knowing I can get advice about what to ask my surgeons or my Endocrinologists or Oncologists, especially for a rare disease? Fuck that’s so invaluable. And being able to help other people advocate for themselves has been really empowering for me.

* Don’t expect to get rid of your fear or anxiety entirely. If you’re alive and you’re human and you like life, you just can’t do that. So remember that when you’re feeling those things, you’re being a normal human being, and you are not alone (even when you feel like the loneliest person in the world, even that’s a part of it). It won’t fix those things, sometimes you can’t. Some days I just give as like, shit days, it happens. June I’ve given up as kind of a shit month honestly. Am I having good moments? Yes. Am I stressed every day about this disease? YES! Fun times. (I won’t be stressed every day if the scan results show that everything is the same tbh, like, then I’ll go back to ‘normal’ where I rarely think about it).

* Don’t write off the day until the day is over. I used to have this habit (and still can sometimes) of writing off the day as being ‘a bad day’ because of a terrible morning. I actually started this habit as a child, because of trauma and abuse, and it was something I kept doing because of mental illness. So this is something I was doing long before cancer came along and additionally kicked my ass. These days, even though I feel so bad sometimes I feel like hell, my entire life is a write off, I try and keep in mind that one thing can change the tone of the day and make it better. And that ‘thing’ can be me and my choices. And the fact is, even if I try some Youtube videos, or to pet my cats, or talk to friends, or whatever and it doesn’t work, at least I can look back and reassure myself: ‘You’re trying so hard, you’re really trying your best’ and also ‘you know this never lasts, it never has, you still have moments where you feel good, which means you’ll have a moment where you’ll feel good again. It’s okay. I’m okay.’

* Dark humour can be a saviour. Oh boy, can it ever. But be careful who you share it with.

* Gratitude for what you have now, and not what you might not in the future, because the future is an illusion, it’s not here now. But you are. I have a journal where I write down something I’m grateful for every day. Even if I’m feeling cynical and hateful and anxious and bitter. And then I might just say ‘I’m grateful for chips’ or ‘I’m grateful for that nice leaf I saw but nothing else’ lol. Just something. I’m grateful I can still hear, I might not hear one day, but I’m listening to a song right now. That matters. I’m grateful I can walk. I’m grateful I can read this post. I’m grateful I can still write my books despite the mild cognitive brain damage I got from radiation. My gratitude doesn’t always feel warm or nice, but I am still, somewhere, deep down, glad I haven’t lost those things.

***

It’s hard, and many of these things take time to learn, and repetition, and getting back on the wagon when you forget. Some days they won’t help, and some days you’ll be so glad of one 5 minute mindfulness meditation it saves the whole rest of the day for you. Sometimes sleeping is a really good reset tool for the brain.

Some people find Buddhism helpful (all life is suffering can become pretty zen when you’re suffering), I found the philosophy of Taoism helpful on top of my regular paganism.

ANYWAY this post is now...2,200 words long fuck that’s longer than some of my university essays I’M SO SORRY so I’m going to stop. Just, please anon, from the bottom of my heart, be gentle with yourself. It’s hard. This stuff is hard. It requires an unfair amount of effort to make it less hard, but that’s all life gives us, because life never promised to be fair or just or compassionate to us. So we must be fair and just and compassionate to ourselves. And that, in its messy imperfection, is all we can do to be a perfect part of this world. <3

[andguesswhat]

My try to prove that Hiddlesworth are real… ;)

Well, they are! :)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23104216/chapters/55276756

1/?

  STORY: The 3rd rule

  Prologue

Chris thought the conversation was getting boring.

Tom was asking these two girls at their table far too many polite questions and they kept talking and talking, and even if it was sweet to see how Tom smiled and nodded politely, Chris was in the mood for a more expressive Tom.

So he asked him:

“By the way, Tom, can you suck your own dick?”

And Bingo!

Tom’s face was hilarious.

First it was totally blank -

So that Chris could reinforce his assumption: “You’re doing Yoga, right? You’re quite flexible, right?”

Then it changed in milliseconds from an expression of a disbelieving What did you just ask? to an indignantly Chris, there are girls at the table! to a wondering Is that even possible? I mean, can you?

Chris loved it. He leaned back with a satisfied smile on his face. That’s how he wanted Tom.

  He just needed to get rid of those girls now.

      The Magician

When Chris and Tom met at Ken’s house for the first time, it just clicked. They got along immediately and they both knew it would stay that way.

They could talk for hours, they were joking around like they knew each other forever. So when they began shooting “Thor”, Chris felt lucky to have Tom around. Coming from a big family, Chris always loved having company and Tom at his side was the best thing he could imagine.

  So even after long days at the set, they went out together, almost every night, getting something to drink. They had to! They needed to talk about the day, about this amazing time they were having. Everything was so big at this production. The sets, the costumes, the stars. Nat! Tony! Stell! They needed to get all the impressions out of their heads, so they could sleep at night.

  But going out with Tom was different then Chris was used to. Cause from time to time they would get company. Girls who wanted to get to know them. Nothing extraordinary. Chris was used to that. He was tall, built and some might say good looking. He was easy going. He was Australian. When he walked through a door, all eyes were on him. That was his life.

When he walked through a door with Tom, all eyes were still on him. But as soon as they sat down with girls, he would notice that the more they chatted, the more the eyes of the girls moved away from him to Tom. To beam at him, to laugh with him, to adore him. It wasn’t that he couldn’t understand these girls, he could! But he just wasn’t used to it.

  So he watched. Fascinated by it. Fascinated by Tom. Cause it wasn’t just his fancy British accent that the girls liked. Tom would begin to talk and after two minutes they were all his. He knew how to attract people. He was like a goddam magician who could pull all sorts of things out of his hat to impress every girl in this goddamn bar.

  Of course he could recite Shakespeare. Of course he could cook and tell you about some recipe so that your mouth got watery. Chris wasn’t surprised. But there was just so much more.

One night Tom would impersonate Hollywood stars, the other he would start to do some karaoke and sing passionately about love, he would rock the dancefloor with crazy moves or juggle with lemons. He would do tricks with coins or music with spoons. He would speak French or Spanish. He would talk about politics if that was what the girls were interested in.

He had a sheer endless amount of skills and Chris was so fascinated by it that he felt himself more and more moving to the other side of the table, right beside those girls and he would moon over Tom just like them.

  When he had asked Tom one day why the hell he had all these skills when he himself could only surf, Tom just shrugged and said: “Well, I had extremely good looking friends in college and I had to find a way to get the attention of girls.”

  Well it worked. It definitely worked.

  And it somehow became a game for Chris to test Tom’s limits.

  Like now when he asked Tom if he could suck his own dick.

The girls began giggling but Chris couldn’t care less.

He just looked at Tom and seeing him smiling shyly and being slightly embarrassed was the best.

  Tom even had to clear his throat before he could respond. “Sorry to disappoint you but I haven’t had a yoga lesson in … this… yet, so… I guess… ” He put up his hands to apologize, beaming at Chris “ I’m sorry but I can’t!”

Chris shrugged with his shoulders, answering generously “It’s okay. Nobody’s perfect. I’ll show you a clip later.” And because Tom’s eyes widened in disbelief, he added, “From a movie. Not a porn movie. Maybe you can try one day.”

He just could not not have said this last sentence.

  The girls giggled again and reminded Chris to get rid of them.

He looked at his watch, “Oh shoot! Stan wanted to talk to us about the scene tomorrow, we need to go!”

He winked at Tom and a few minutes later he was sitting with Tom on his hotel bed, the laptop in front of them. After watching this auto cocksucking scene of “Shortbus” – Tom’s face had been a copy of the most joyful disbelief and purest fascination - they kept watching clips of whatever came to their minds. Both taking turns with their Do you know this? Do you know that?s And there was endless laughter, occasional dancing and singing and way too many hand gestures.

  Chris loved those nights.

It was Tom and Chris and Chris and Tom.

  So when a PR lady of MCU came to them to suggest that they could attract more viewers to the movies by talking about their friendship, he had no problem with it because he could surely lead Tom’s fan base. Tom was fantastic, he was more than proud to be his friend.

  In the end it all came down to a simple fact:

Chris loved Tom.

And what could be wrong with that?

****

[xenophanatic]

The recent discovery of the long forgotten unappealing nature of western television

So, during these summer holidays (in Australia) i have been bingeing a lot of television. However, with the compilation of dis-interesting content - not enough romance angst - and a demand for undivided attention of reading subtitles, I decided to give foreign dramas a rest and look for English language dramas. Just something I don’t have to keep my eyes glued to the screen. And after viewing two series without finishing them - an Canadian and an Australian series - I remembered why I digressed from English-speaking dramas to foreign television ten years ago. 

It sucks at OTP. 

I was watching Being Erica, and I was viewing it to watch season two with an introduction of a ship that i could get behind - Kai and Erica. However, season 1 focuses on Erica and her best friend Ethan who she realises is the person she has always loved. So, i enter this series knowing these two aren’t the OTP, but none the less i get invested. The scenes where Erica realises there’s no one else but Ethan are constructed for the audience to get invested and I did. But then, realising they will break up over trivial matters in order for Erica to start being with Kai, just makes me feel betrayed by the show. Even though I have not seen season two or Kai, who I am assuming will be ten times better in delivering a love story, I know that Kai and Erica don’t end up together either - i read spoilers. So why should I get invested into another relationship, when it’s going to mean nothing in the next season(s). So I stopped after season 1.

Then I went to an Australian show I saw when I was younger, but didn’t follow because of university studying - Offspring. I didn’t care for much with the season 1 ship of Chris and Nina - I had seen season two with the introduction of Patrick. Anyway, so I’m watching season two and loving it, but remember that Patrick dies at some point in the series - leaving Nina alone with their newly born baby. So.... i looked up what happens later on and she ends up with a guy named Harry and the show ends with her having her second child with Harry. Again, what was the point!!!!

I understand, in real-life people come and go, and though you think a person is the life of your life, they may not be. But television is my escape from that reality into a world where there is a couple that i should root for to get together and end up happy. I know there are writers who are creating these stories and are like... “Hmmmm... they ended up together. We finished the ‘will they, won’t they’ angst. What next” “How about we create unnecessary conflict?” “Great idea! Who needs a show representing a strong couple working together through life!” “I know, right! Now pass me that joint.”

But really, the main reason for this fleeting OTPs and Ships are because of the structure of these shows. Unlike Korean, Pakistani, or Japanese shows were they are variables like limited episodes, stories have been written and filmed before broadcast, actors under contract until the end of the series - other shows, such as Turkish and American (other westerns countries like Canada, UK, Australia) are often confronted by the dilemmas of actors and real life issues. 

Certain actors may not like one another and therefore refuse to do scenes with one another (In the 90s Charmed, main actress was killed off because of dispute on the series), actors get together - thereby characters getting together on screen - but then break up - thereby characters breaking up in the series (Brooke and Lucas from One Tree Hill), actors wanting to leave the show to pursuit other opportunities - sometime they come back (Shameless had Mickey and Ian constantly separated making their epic journey seem arbitrary) and sometimes they don’t, and sometimes you just get season 4 of Veronica Mars (lest we forget). I understand that these actors are people too and have the right to leave a show that they may not find professionally satisfying - that is understandable. I’m hating the game (the television system and production), not the players (actors, writers etc). 

There’s no resolution I can give that will solve this - I’m not that important. Does anyone have recommendation for a drama that has angst but the couple end up together?

A shout out to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - even if it wasn’t the same actor *cry*, at least the character/relationship got an arch.

[babyatm1]

What Makes A Will Legal?

Residential Property You Should Not Include In Your Will

Content

If You Don'T Wish To Use A Lawyer

Indication Your Will In Front Of Witnesses.

To Determine Who Will Care For Your Minor Children

Secret Files To Have Together With Your Last Will As Well As Testament.

When Should You Obtain Legal Guidance To Compose Your Will?

Making Older Individuals'S Voices Heard.

Total An Inheritance Tax Type.

Using A Lawyer To Compose Your Will

What Is Probate?

A simple will is a basic will without any expensive stipulations or stipulations. You can state just how you want your stuff distributed and also that obtains it.

If You Don'T Intend To Utilize A Lawyer

Please keep in mind the table is sorted by Celebrity Rating adhered to by supplier name and also attributes web links straight to the carrier's website. Usage Canstar's life insurance policy contrast selector to watch a broader variety of policies.

Are online wills legal UK?

In order for a Will to be legally valid in England and Wales, you must sign your Will in the presence of two witnesses, and your witnesses must witness (sign) your Will in your presence; and this cannot be done online. clicking here 'll always need a physical document to be signed and witnessed.

Since Buddhists also turn down agenthood, the standard compatibilist methods are closed to them also. Rather, the Buddhist thoughtful approach is to take a look at the metaphysics of origin. Old India had several warmed arguments concerning the nature of causality with Jains, Nyayists, Samkhyists, Cārvākans, and Buddhists all taking somewhat various lines. In numerous ways, the Buddhist placement is more detailed to a concept of "conditionality" than a theory of "origin", particularly as it is stated by Nagarjuna in the Mūlamadhyamakakārikā.

Who should keep the original Will UK?

1. Leave it with a solicitor. If a solicitor writes your will, they will usually store the original free of charge and give you a copy – but ask them to make sure. Most solicitors will also store a will they didn't write, but there will probably be a fee.

Your will doesn't have to be a time-sucking frustration to create. You can make use of a simple will to describe who gets your things and also who deals with your kids if you die.

Check in to get going By checking in, I am signing up for get Canstar's Rate Checker e-mails as well as Home Loans e-newsletter. Specify-- for example, do not simply leave everything to 'my spouse'-- utilize your better half's complete name. The basic message is-- just utilize a Do It Yourself will if your desires are really straightforward and also your financial circumstance isn't complicated. If you live with your partner, yet are neither married nor in a civil collaboration, you might wish to take into consideration creating a common-law marriage agreement in addition to writing a will. While a will establishes what takes place to your possessions as well as items when you pass away, a common-law marriage agreement define what happens if your partnership breaks down-- so a bit like a will for the living.

That's because the enduring partner can not transform a joint will also after the death of their partner. So if an enduring partner remarries and also has a stepchild, they can't leave anything in the joint will to that stepchild. To learn more concerning making a will-- and to see every little thing Nolo has to use when it pertains to intending your estate-- visit our Wills, Trusts & Probate Center. Tell your administrator where your will is as well as how to obtain accessibility to it when the moment comes.

You will be asked to leave a gift for the Stroke Association in your will, but the decision is your own. The Stroke Association uses a complimentary simple will to over-60s or stroke survivors that are 18+.

TheCancer Study UKFree Will Service enables over-18s to obtain a cost-free simple will. Please keep in mind that which of the above charities is funding the system relies on your place. However, you can select to leave gifts to any type of charity you such as. You are under no commitment to leave a present (known as a 'legacy') to among the Free Wills Month charities.

If you are seeking to change an existing life insurance plan, you need to consider your personal scenarios, consisting of continuing the existing cover until the replacement policy is provided and also cover confirmed. Your existing policy might have various features to products presently in the marketplace. Please consider what functions are ideal for you when comparing insurance items as well as refer to the supplier for additional information on a policy. If you decide to look for Life insurance policy, you will deal directly with an insurance policy supplier, and not with Canstar.

Indicator Your Will Before Witnesses.

Since your will is full, allow your successors and also administrator know you have created a will and also where you are keeping it so that they can access it after your fatality. If you are married or have kids that are alive, checklist the names of your spouse and children and also your marriage day. You can produce your will either as a published computer record or handwrite it. Phone number the pages of the file (1 of 3, 2 of 3, 3 of 3, etc.) to ensure that it is clear the amount of web pages there are. While a lawyer can be very practical, you can produce a will yourself if you favor.

If your children are minors, decide that you wish to increase them in the extremely unlikely occasion that you as well as their various other moms and dad can't. Every will have to name someone to work as executor, to execute the regards to the will. Be sure that the person you desire agrees to offer-- the task should not come as a shock. Here are minority simple actions you need to take to make your will.

You can also pick the person who will ensure your will is executed as well as name a guardian for your kids if something takes place to you. And also you can even name the individual you intend to care for your favorite ferret.

If this intuitive photo became incorrect, after that presumably that we can not legitimately be held ethically in charge of our actions. Besides, if I do not have free will in a feeling that involves alternate possibilities, after that I have to pick what I really pick. And also if I have to choose what I perform in reality select, then probably I am compelled so to select, and can not rather be considered morally responsible for my selection. It is extremely possible, after that, to accept something like the "Concept of Different Possibilities", according to which a representative is morally responsible for an action only if he could have done otherwise. If is true, then moral duty needs free choice; and if causal determinism dismiss such different opportunities, it would therefore dismiss ethical obligation.

Credit scores solutions for Aussie Elevate items are provided by AHL Investments Pty Ltd ACN Australian Credit Score Permit (" Aussie") and also its appointed credit rating representatives. Credit history and also any applicable balanced out make up Aussie Elevate are issued by Bendigo and Adelaide Financial Institution Limited ABN AFSL/ Australian Credit Permit. ASIC mentions the general public Trustee could not credit make your will if you are aged older than 60 or choose the Public Trustee to be your administrator. You may want to check with the Public Trustee in your state or area to recognize the needs that relate to making a will where you live. If you're contrasting life insurance policies, the contrast table listed below screens some of the policies currently readily available on Canstar's data source for a years of age non-smoking male working in a professional line of work.

However, many individuals do not maintain a recurring connection with a lawyer, as well as it is common for attorneys to dissolve law office and also create brand-new ones, so it might be challenging for your executor to find the will when the demand occurs.

Because your administrator is somebody you depend on, no person else needs to recognize the components of the will or that it also exists.

Also, if you relocate some range away from where your lawyer methods, it would be more difficult for your administrator to acquire the will.

Usually, the best location to save your will is with your executor.

Your lawyer may keep the original-- often for a nominal fee.

Such on the internet archives may be a good location to save information for an administrator, nevertheless, a court of probate might not accept a published duplicate from such a digital will vault when an initial is required.

In order to satisfy your duties as the administrator of an estate, you must first be approved the authority via a letter of testamentary.

If you do not recognize who that is or if you are uncomfortable approaching them, you can look the probate court documents in the area where the deceased person lived.

There are firms offering on the internet storage space of documents as well as individual info.

In Buddhism it is shown that the concept of absolute liberty of option is ill-advised, since it denies the reality of one's physical needs as well as situations. Just as wrong is the concept that people have no option in life or that their lives are pre-determined. To reject flexibility would be to reject the initiatives of Buddhists to make moral progress. Pubbekatahetuvada, the idea that all happiness as well as experiencing emerge from previous activities, is thought about an incorrect sight according to Buddhist teachings.

To Identify That Will Look After Your Minor Children

Credit scores services for Aussie Select, Aussie Activate and also Aussie Elevate products are given by AHL Investments Pty Ltd ACN (" Aussie") and also its appointed credit report reps, Australian Credit score Licence. Credit Rating for Aussie Select items is supplied by Residential Home mortgage Team Pty Ltd ACN, Australian Debt Permit (" RMG"). RMG is a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Commonwealth Bank of Australia ABN AFSL and Australian Credit Report Licence. Credit Score for Aussie Activate products is provided by Pepper Finance Corporation Limited ACN (" Pepper"). Pepper Group Limited ACN, Australian Credit report Permit acts upon behalf of Pepper.

How much does an attorney charge to draw up a will?

Flat Fees. It's very common for a lawyer to charge a flat fee to write a will and other basic estate planning documents. The low end for a simple lawyer-drafted will is around $300. A price of closer to $1,000 is more common, and it's not unusual to find a $1,200 price tag.

The trick is recognizing your state's details needs and also making certain your will meets them. It's additionally possible to create a will that serves in every state so that you avoid any possible problems.

Trick Files To Have Alongside Your Last Will And Testimony.

How much money before probate is required UK?

It's generally considered that if everything the deceased person owned is worth less than £15,000 Probate won't be needed, but this isn't true in every situation. This is because each financial institution has their own limit that determines whether or not Probate is needed. This ranges from £5,000 to £50,000.

When Should You Get Lawful Recommendations To Draft Your Will?

signed by the proprietor of the will and be seen by 2 individuals. " If you utilize an online will package, get it examined by a lawyer or Public Trustee," economic regulatory authority ASIC's Moneysmart.com.au web site states, which adds that a solicitor or Public Trustee are most likely to bill you for doing so.

Nonetheless, there could be different guidelines in various locations of Australia when it involves wills, according to the Australian government's australia.gov.au info portal. The site advises that each person examine the rules that apply in their state or territory prior to beginning any service a will.

Complete An Inheritance Tax Kind.

This advice is basic as well as has not taken into consideration your objectives, monetary situation, or demands. Consider whether this suggestions is best for you, having respect to your very own goals, monetary situation and needs. You might need economic suggestions from a suitably qualified adviser. Consider the product disclosure declaration before making any type of monetary choice. For additional information, readCanstar's Financial Services and also Credit History Overview, and check out ourdetailed disclosure, important notes as well as responsibility disclaimer.

How much do solicitors charge to execute a will UK?

Some probate specialists and solicitors charge an hourly rate while others charge a fee that is a percentage of the value of the estate. This fee is usually calculated as between 1% to 5% of the value of the estate, plus VAT.

Nonetheless, the hope is that many will see this as a chance to aid their preferred cause. The advocate of PAP believes that the lack of the flexibility to choose or else does not by itself explain the lack of moral duty. see this page is because he thinks that when this absence acquires, its getting is itself discussed by, and can only be described by, the event of causal determinism in the actual series of events. The Concept of Alternate Possibilities and also the Frankfurt-type Instances. As I recommended above, we normally think that the future is a garden of forking courses-- that we a minimum of at some essential points in our lives have more than one path branching into the future.

It's after that inspected by a Farewill will specialist, who'll send you a web link to download your finished will, which you'll need to print, sign and also have actually observed. As soon as you more than happy and have actually authorized it, Co-op shops your will. As soon as you have actually done what you can, you'll obtain a follow-up phone call from a specialist will writer. You make use of an on-line layout, which is after that examined by Co-op Legal Solutions.

What To Expect From Your Lawyer

As soon as this impression is revealed, one's initial conviction that the absence of an alternate choice is sufficient for the lack of ethical duty is vindicated. There can be two various ways in which some variable makes a representative unable to select or do or else. In one way, the factor does not play a role in the actual sequence; it does not flow with the real program of occasions. In one more means, the element does move through the actual series.

[pyrimid1ne]

50 questions

I was tagged by @hayley-the-comet thanks heaps!! This looks fun

What is the colour of your hairbrush? Umm, yes... my hairbrush

Name a food you never eat: Besides all animal products... mushroom. Can’t stand em. Wish I liked them, they’re a pretty versatile food.

Are you typically too warm or too cold? Too warm. It’s changing a bit now because the weather’s so cold but compared to other people too warm definitely.

What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Chilling on the couch with family, pretty sure that was 45 mins ago as of writing this

What’s your favourite candy bar? Vego bar

Have you ever been to a professional sports game? yeah

What is the last thing you said out loud? I think I said “see you tomorrow” to a family member, unless you count just laughing at a YouTube video which was more recent

What is your favourite ice cream? Probably chocolate or mint. I like the vegan cornettos too

What was the last thing you had to drink? Water

Do you like your wallet? Yep it’s a batman wallet

What is the last thing you ate? A complete cookie

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? Can’t remember if it was on the weekend but I’m waiting on a tee shirt and bomber jacket to be delivered

What’s the last sporting event you watched? Couldn’t say, I don’t watch sports

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? Probs just salted or buttered/salted (vegan butter obvs)

Who is the last person you sent a text message to? A work colleague

Ever go camping? Very occasionally 

Do you take vitamins? Usually but I’m being slack rn, I’m waiting on some of those to be delivered too. Normally I take B-12, omega-3 algae oil, D-3, iron, zinc, and magnesium

Do you go to church every Sunday? Never been

Do you have a tan? Not in this weather

Do you prefer Chinese or pizza? Pizza

Do you drink your soda through a straw? I’m sensing these questions were written by an American... nope I don’t drink that stuff

What colour socks do you usually wear? Black

Do you ever drive above the speed limit? See, here’s the thing. I use cruise control fanatically to avoid getting a speeding fine. So far so good. But a month or two ago I got done by the cops for speeding, but it’s because they got me just as I’d finished overtaking someone. That’s literally the only time I’ll drive faster than the limit. To overtake someone. Not because of the law or anything, I couldn’t give two shits what the law says (I mean look at my Tumblr name lol), I just don’t want them taking my money. Lucky for me when I got done the cop was one of the few reasonable ones and let me off with a caution because he knew I’d just overtaken someone and saw that I’d had a flawless record prior.

What terrifies you? Not having properly lived before I die. The animal holocaust going on every minute of every day. The fact that the environment is getting fucked and all people seem to care about is the economy. We’re one species of ten million. Sometimes I just wish the events of the day the earth stood still would happen. Probably not quite what the question was asking but that is honestly what terrifies me. Anthropocentrism.

Look to your left, what do you see? My bedside table with various items on it (lamp, Apple Watch, cologne, deodorant, drink bottle, tissues, etc.)

What chore do you hate most? Probably vacuuming

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? Yep, definitely written by an American hahaha, I think “oh someone’s saying something in a normal sounding voice” lol... wait no I wanna change my answer to Chase from House

What’s your favourite soda? N/A mate

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive through? Usually drive through but depends

What’s your favourite number? Don’t have one

Who’s the last person you talked to? Think my dad

Favourite cut of beef? No cutting, just a live, happy cow allowed to live its life is my favourite :)

Last song you listened to? I’m good? by Hilltop Hoods

Last book you read? I think 12 rules for life? I have very mixed opinions on it but at the very least Jordan Peterson has some motivating things to say

Favourite day of the week? Friday or Saturday for obvious reasons

Can you say the alphabet backwards? Probs very slowly haha

How do you like your coffee? Strong French press with 1 sugar and a lil soy milk 👌

Favourite pair of shoes? I have like 1 pair of shoes I wear 95% of the time they’re just black nikes with the white sole and nike tick

Time you normally get up? If I’m working then like 90 mins or so before I start work, if I’m not working then more like 11am, love my sleep ins :)

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Sunsets

How many blankets on your bed? 1 quilt

Describe your kitchen plates. Um mostly just white but a few with a blue ring halfway to the edge, like if you drew a radius line the blue bit would be in the middle of the line

Describe your kitchen at the moment. Messy

Do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? I usually have like a vodka/soda/raspberry thing or vodka dry or if its beer then corona

Do you play cards? Badly

What colour is your car? Red

Can you change a tyre? Haven’t before but how hard can it be

Your favourite state? If you mean Aus then I very much like my state South Australia but if you mean in the US I have no idea

Favourite job you’ve had? They’ve all sucked equally haha

[a-man-for-hire-and-his-archives]

From Michael Hutchence to a Pirate: Why Luke Arnold's Career Is Sailing Smoothly

Luke Arnold has been working steadily as an actor in Australia for years, with roles on Winners & Losers and Rush, but the gig that really put him in the spotlight this year was his turn as Michael Hutchence in the two-part telemovie INXS: Never Tear Us Apart. Luke was praised for his performance as the iconic rock star, and now he's returning to the small screen as another familiar character: Long John Silver in the Starz action drama Black Sails. 

The show takes place before the events in Robert Louis Stevenson's novel Treasure Island, in the 1700s during the Golden Age of Piracy. There's a lot that happens in the pilot, including how Silver gets roped into the pirate industry, the set-up of a plan to find the ultimate treasure, and the battle for captaincy of the ships. There's also a lot of action and a little bit of pirate lovin'.

We caught up with Luke in Sydney yesterday ahead of the show's premiere on Showcase tonight at 9:40 p.m. to discuss the most fun thing about playing a pirate, what he took away from the experience of playing Michael Hutchence, and the craziest Hollywood party he's been to. 

Hint: it was at a famous socialite's house.

POPSUGAR Australia: Where are you based these days?

Luke Arnold: Cape Town, while we shoot Black Sails, and that's about seven months of the year. I have a couple of boxes of things in Cape Town, a couple of boxes of things in Melbourne, LA, same thing. Everywhere there's a guitar and a box of basics.

PS: How did you get the role?

LA: So for years I was going to LA once or twice a year, and it just kind of happened that I got cast in Black Sails. I did one audition with the casting director, then met the showrunner, the creator, did one more audition, and then got signed to the show! But when I was signed to it they still didn't know what character I was going to play. They said, "You're a pirate, you're on the show, but we'll work out who you are later on."

PS: So did you test for a few different pirates?

LA: Yeah. Well I auditioned for just Vane, one of the other roles, and never actually auditioned for Silver. They went, 'It depends who else we cast,' and they found Zach McGowan for Vane and so I became Silver.

PS: What's the most fun thing about playing a pirate?

LA: I think it's that you're allowed to be a pirate in real-life, a little bit. You kind of get an excuse, and almost an expectation, to be a little rowdier, maybe a little drunker, in day-to-day life. So yeah, I think that's that.

PS: Which scenes do you enjoy filming the most?

LA: The writers on the show are really fantastic, and also really going for poetry a lot. They're really writing some amazing stuff, and I think that's what you wait for; occasionally you just get these speeches that are beautiful to say, and you can really sink your teeth into. And at the same time I love a big action scene where I've got nothing to say, and just stuff to do. I don't know which I like more, but it's nice to be on a show where you get both. One day I'll just be running up and down a ship that's blowing up, and the next day you get a five-page monologue.

PS: What are those big actions scenes like? Is this the largest scale thing you've done in terms of production?

LA: Absolutely it is. This is one of the biggest television shows ever made, and while there's a lot of visual effects, we have the real ships and the real towns, and we blow up a lot of stuff. So it's amazing. And what's fun — we've done two seasons of Black Sails — is you still never get used to walking onto a new set. Or when you bring in someone else to check out the set for the first time, it's a nice reminder where you're like, 'Oh that's right, this is amazing.' It's just a huge playground we get to play with on the show.

PS: I noticed the director of the pilot is Neil Marshall, who's known for directing the big battle episodes for Game of Thrones. What was it like working with him?

LA: It was fantastic. And that's his trademark, really, he does big action stuff for TV. So having him for Black Sails was fantastic.

PS: I feel like there's a lot that happens in the first episode. What can you tell me about John Silver's story?

LA: There's a lot going on, and I do think the first half of season one is really setting the stage in a lot of ways. Even though the pirate story has been around for ages, because we're doing a grittier, more real, historically-accurate version, there is a lot of setting the scene, and establishing what this world really is. But for John Silver, well I'm the one who's not a pirate. I'm the one guy, when we begin the show, that isn't invested in this pirate world. Everyone else, it's high stakes, they're really serious and they've got big plans, and for Silver, he just wants to get his handful of gold, and then head off to the next place. I think he realises that it's a pretty dumb career choice, if you can avoid becoming a pirate. It's dangerous; it kind of sucks, really! It's not a fun life. So I think the kind of lightness that John has at the beginning comes from that, that he's not invested in this world and he's breezing through.

But the story for him, really, is knowing that it is about him being sucked into this world, becoming one of the crew, and eventually becoming Long John Silver in Treasure Island.

PS: What kind of prep did you have to do for the role? Were you familiar with the character from Treasure Island?

LA: Yeah. I think he's the kind of character that's permanently in pop culture, in a lot of ways since Treasure Island happened. So I'd read the book before, but I'd also seen Muppet Treasure Island, and some of the other versions. And you feel like that character has been referenced in so many other cartoons and things, so it was very familiar. I then did a lot of character research. Also, we all had to go back and look at all the historical stuff, to try and get out of our heads the stereotypes, the clichés, what pirates have become over years of storytelling, and instead try and go back to who these men and women really were.

PS: I also read that physically it was quite a lot of prep?

LA: Yeah, it was. I had a few weeks of training on my own, then we did like a three-week pirate boot camp in Cape Town. It was really full on. It was a mixture of training in the gym, fight training, sailing ships, taking all the modern rigging off and just doing it by hand. It was just exhausting. In a way it's different on a film because you've got longer to shoot any particular scene, you can put the stunt doubles in, you can work it out. We're shooting a big budget movie every couple of weeks, so we have to just do it, and do it over and over. If we hadn't done all this training, I wouldn't be able to do the job. You wouldn't be able to use any angles on me — like after two times of climbing rope up the side of the ship, I don't even know if I could've done it once before the training. But now, we'll do it 30, 50 times in a day.

PS: Do you still like working out in your spare time?

LA: At the end of season one I was really addicted to it. I actually think the rock star stuff got me out of the habit, because I almost had to stop training, and stop eating to play Michael Hutchence.

PS: So you did Black Sails first?

LA: Yep. I did season one of Black Sails, then did Never Tear Us Apart, then season two of Black Sails. That got me out of the habit, then I had to get back in the habit for season two. I do still enjoy it, but I'm not like a big gym junkie. I would more enjoy kicking up with beers in the mid-afternoon in the sun. But even though the first part of training was tough, I never felt as good as I did when I was at the peak of physical health, and feeling good and eating right. It's just the pain to get to that point — you have to go through that pain to get to the point where you feel really good.

PS: As you do get to shoot in such amazing locations, do you get much time off to relax?

LA: A lot, actually. We only ever shoot a five-day week — sometimes we do six days — but mostly it's a five-day week, and it's an ensemble show, so any day we're not shooting, which is often, we'll generally be rehearsing the next episode, or going off to do costume stuff. It means we do get a lot of half-days, and days off. And Cape Town is a beautiful place for be for time off. The only problem is it's a long way away, so even if you do get a few days off, it's not like you'll go, 'Oh, I'll go visit the family.' We're stuck there. But we definitely get enough downtime, and it's recovery time as well. When we do the big fight scenes, it's like being beaten up for 16 hours, so often we do just need that day. They work us hard when we're working, but the time off in between gives us a chance to recover.

PS: I was going through your Twitter recently and saw Never Tear Us Apart aired in the US recently. What was the reception like to that? Do you even know how people reacted?

LA: It was the same as the Australian one: mostly just on Twitter. I've had a lot of really positive response. You get all the INXS fans coming out of the woodwork, taking the effort to say how much they enjoyed it, my performance and the show. So that's been really great. It's kind of airing over a few weeks there, so it's rolling out and people are still discovering it; obviously it didn't have the same publicity push that we had here. It's nice for the show to get a really good response in the American market.

PS: What's the biggest thing you took away from your experience of playing that role?

LA: It was about how important the people you work with are. They talk about film as a collaborative medium, and it absolutely is. I know that Never Tear Us Apart, there are so many ways it could have not worked. It worked because every single person, from the unit guys who arrived first to set up with the crew area, to everyone involved with props and costume — everyone cared so much. No one was just treating it like a job. And that is why it turned out being as good as it is, because everyone went above and beyond the call of duty to make it great. And I think that was the biggest thing, to see that. And I didn't think I was going to enjoy it; like I really wanted the role, but I thought the pressure of the whole thing was going to make it stressful the whole time. But I had so much fun, and that was just by being around so many passionate people.

PS: Who's on your wish list to work with as a co-star, or director, or producer?

LA: Ooh. There are lots. The actors I'm really loving at the moment: Jeff Bridges and Sam Rockwell are guys I'm looking at as other actors, where you feel you learn so much just from watching them. I'm sure working with them would be really amazing. It's tough to say with directors, because there's so many. The wish list is so big these days. [Martin] Scorsese is always my absolute idol of directors. It's constantly changing, especially in the TV world.

PS: Which TV shows are you obsessed with at the moment?

LA: I'm watching quite a few: Hannibal, House of Cards. Louie is, I think, my all-time favourite show at the moment. And I am a Game of Thrones fan as well. And Breaking Bad, I still think it's the best show that's been on television.

PS: And the Emmys are tomorrow! Are you still into watching things like that?

LA: Yeah! But actually it's funny, less now that we're in TV. It's like, really, you go for the parties, and after-parties, really. Black Sails won two Emmys this year, because we had the Creative Arts Emmys already, so we got the special in visual effects and the sound editing. So we're now an Emmy Award-winning show.

PS: Have you been to any crazy or memorable Hollywood parties?

LA: The first week I was ever in LA, which was about five years ago, like the first weekend I was there, I ended up at Paris Hilton's house at a party. It was like the cliché, LA . . . Like it was my first week and I was meeting people, and they were like, "So, how are you doing in LA, are you settling in?" I was like, "Yeah, I was at Paris Hilton's house on the weekend!" They were like, "Oh, OK, you've settled in fine, then."

PS: Have you seen The Bling Ring?

LA: It's exactly like that. Yeah. When they're walking through, and they've got the club with the poles, it was the same thing. There's like a tequila dispenser in the walls, where you just hold your glass and get shots of tequila. And her face is on everything.

Source: PopSugar Au

[far-away-stars]

Get to know me tag thing!

(wish I could kinda put it under read more, cause, well, I'm usually not fond of talking about myself on tumblr or wherever, but if at least it didn't clog people's feeds.. but well, I'm on mobile, so sorry in advance :/ )

1. Dogs or Cats?

Cats forever. I love them, truly. I lost my kitty this year, and.. I don't know when I'll be ready to adopt a new one, but, it will happen, I know it will. Cats belong in my life. Dogs I also love a lot, and I love Australian Shepherd so much. But I can't really get around to take care of a dog, it's a type of work I can't really get around. And, yeah, I love cats.

2. YouTube celebrities or normal celebrities?

I follow a number of YouTubers, but honestly I try not to indulge in the "YouTube celebrity" kinda gap. I don't really care about this trend of thinking it's a different kind of celebrity cause they seem so close to their audience and share details of their lives and such. If I like their content then I'm happy to watch their videos, but it's all the same kind of celebrity to me in the end.

3. If you could live anywhere where would that be?

Probably next to the sea/ocean. I feel like I miss it too much when I don't have it. The air, and the climate, and the life and habits. But I need a cinema. Why Essaouira can't have a damn cinema uhhhhhh. 

4. Disney or DreamWorks?

In general, like, both. But for simple production mass I have to say Disney. I have favs from both, but eh, StarbWars, Marvel, the classics.. 

5. Favourite childhood TV show?

Digimon. It still means so much to me. Also Dendoh, uhh, Dragon Ball, Tokyo Mew Mew. Oh, the Winx. 

6. The movie you’re looking forward to most in 2020?

Uhh, I guess the Disney ones (Marvel, classics..) and, yeah, I'm curious about the Artemis Fowl one, but aside from those I don't really think there's any film that really caught my eye for 2020. We'll see when it happens, I'll gladly be surprised.

7. Favorite book you read in 2019?

I re-read a couple of stuff, but yeah, it was a fanfiction year, certainly (as most years are these days). Recently read a bunch of Harringrove and really found some favorites in there, but yeah, no books, only fanfiction and, thanks the Gods, all the excellent rp I was lucky to be involved with. ♥

8. Marvel or DC?

Marvel. I'm very fond of some of the old school Batman films, but the MCU got my heart (that and the early X-Men, tho I lagged behind those) and most of the shows are also so good, I'm behind "the Runaways" and "Cloak and Dagger", and "Agents of SHIELD", but I like them all, and, despite not really being fond on how the comics world is structured I'm also fond of all the superficial drama there. DC I like, but I'm not that attached or involved into.

9. If you choose Marvel favorite member of the X-Men? If you choose DC favourite Justice League member?

Of the X-Men? Damn, I don't even know. :'D I love Nightcrawler from the old movies. Just so find of him.

10. Night or Day?

I don't know, I really don't.

11. Favourite Pokemon? 

Torchic.

12. Top 5 bands/artists:

Ah, I suck at this, I go by feeling rather than artist, really. I was very fond of Adam Lambert growing up, but I lost the edge on that. I like songs, I'm not that "faithful" to authors.

13. Top 10 books.

This I.. don't know. I feel like I only have old childhood books to talk about. 

14. Top 4 movies

I'm gonna cheat and say the three Ocean's movies. For the forth… I don't know, there's a lot I like and I could talk about.. I guess I can't really think in terms of top-anything for those kinda things. Let's say Aladdin (1992).

15. America or Europe? 

Europe. I never went to America. I guess it scares me a bit.

16. Tumblr or Twitter? 

Tumblr. Twitter is fine, but it's really not my type. Too.. social.

17. Pro-choice or Pro-life? 

Pro-choice.

18. Favorite YouTuber?

Squeezie. He nice. In the English-speaking world maybe Thomas Sanders.

19. Favorite author ?

Don't know. It's a bit like songs.. I don't really go behind the book a lot.

And, yeah, I join to send love to all those I rp with. You make my days better, you are all so talented, thank you for your time and passion and dedication.

20. Tea or Coffee?

Tea. Never drank coffee, and I don't intend to start.

21. OTP ?

Eh, as it was probably very obvious from all the previous questions I'm quite unable to pick any sort of favorites. All the couple's I rp, all those I'm happy to headcanon with, all those from fandom I got passionate about in the years.. all good, all my faves. The one I was quite certainly the most active with is Illyrio/Muhn, and is also the one I really ever seriously started rp-ing with, so, ofc, it deserves a mention.

22. Do you play an instrument/sing ?

I sing a bit, took lessons for a year, but, well. 

Tagged By: @askshivanulegacy , thank you ♥

Tagging: @whoever desires to, I'm really not picky.

[thesinglesjukebox]

KATY PERRY - NEVER REALLY OVER

[6.18]

Isabel is damning with faint praise, but this IS the first time a Katy Perry single has broken [6.00]...

Isabel Cole: Easily the best single of Katy Perry's career. [5]

Katie Gill: I hate the fact that I really like this. It's blatantly a Zedd produced song, ticking clock and all, and I spent the whole song thinking 'wait, this reminds me of something, who does this remind me of' (possibly Carly Rae Jepsen? I honestly have no idea, this bugged me for an entire weekend.) The lyrics are a whole lot of nothing and the vocals occasionally jump past singing into screaming. But that post-chorus is just SO MUCH FUN. It saves the song and elevates it from a 4 to a solid 7 in my book. [7]

Joshua Copperman: Katy's best song since her Teenage Dream ended. She's never been that vulnerable in her music, even though her ballads are frequently good, but it works for her here. Then the chorus sucks out all the energy, bringing back the campfire pop that invaded the charts two years ago. Then that post-chorus happens, and suddenly Katy Perry has made the best comeback single of 2019 so far. It's still a late-2010s pop production, meaning it can't have any low-end depth and choruses must sound exactly the same each time, but the breathlessness of the melody and the weirdly poignant lyric overcomes those issues. (Still, the build-up to that post-chorus remains so tedious I rearranged the song to get to the proverbial fireworks factory sooner - it's not perfect, and I'm no Zedd, though Matthew Koma indicates that I may have worked on this more than he did.) If nothing else, "Never Really Over" manages to justify Katy Perry's return, arriving confidently as former peers like Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift are on shaky ground. [7]

Tobi Tella: I might be one of the few people in the world who liked "Chained To The Rhythm", and thought it was a well-written and tasteful intro to an album that was anything but. This is a more conventional slice of pure pop throwing back to what Katy does best, and it works on every level. The sample injects lots of life into the song, and there are no "plastic bag" or "old coupon" level clunkers. Hopefully the next single has nothing to do with eating or basketball... [7]

Julian Axelrod: Katy Perry's best and worst moments come from desperation, when she's so hopelessly despondent with desire you start to see the cracks in her fun-girl facade. So it's no surprise that the only moment she really comes alive here is that breathless barrage of rationalization in the chorus, so thick with hope and dread she's practically banging her head against the walls of the beat. But it is surprising she can conjure up that magic moment at all, especially when the sentiments surrounding it are limp and smeared like a greeting card left in a puddle. If nothing else, it's comforting to know she still cares enough to try to reach those heights. [6]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: The best Katy Perry songs (mainly "Waking Up In Vegas" and "Teenage Dream," if I'm going to be honest) were great because of how they straddled the line between artificial and sincere. Of all of the high-concept pop stars of the turn of the decade, she was simultaneously the least confessional and the most honest-- for every wink and invocation of classic pop tropery, there was the feeling that she really meant it, no matter how poorly the songs actually worked out. Even her really dire stuff ("Bon Appetit," "Roar") feels committed. "Never Really Over" succeeds principally on how much you buy Katy Perry as a genuine communicator. That's partially because the rest is just Zedd doing "The Middle" again (which isn't the worst thing in the world.) But it's also about the songwriting itself, which is kind of about Orlando Bloom but really about what it's like to be a pop star a decade and a half into a career that has waxed and waned and waxed again. It's a tricky and artificial conceit-- but that's what she's always done best. [7]

William John: You could easily say that this is a stencil of a Dagny song that's been coloured in well, and many will dismiss it as nothing much more. But there are further collaborators listed in the credits of "Never Really Over" worth mentioning - not only Zedd, whose alarm clock battery refuses to die, but also Hayley Warner (second place in Australian Idol, 2009), and Leah Haywood (contributor to a beloved Australian pop compilation of my youth, So Fresh: The Hits of Summer 2001). The claiming of responsibility for each of this song's moving parts likely won't happen unless we get another "Diary of a Song"-style exposé from somewhere, but it's interesting to note that the neatest trick of the unlikely pop groupthink behind "Never Really Over" is that they've played to Katy Perry's basic strengths - that is, keeping her away from those ungainly cadences she's previously been so fond of, and allowing her to stretch her mouth around a middle eight built upon dramatic phrasing; "kissed goodbye" and "draw the line" are enunciated definitively, as though a ruler's handstaff is being placed into the ground. Every Katy Perry song is a collection of platitudes sung without vibrato, but this time - and maybe for the first time since "Teenage Dream" - she's made them sound believable. [9]

Scott Mildenhall: It's poetic, if not related, that in a year where one of the biggest new stars is making such play of dynamics, Katy Perry songs still have her so incessantly loud. Even while the choruses of this and "Love You Like That" are similarly flowing and flat, only the former falls foul through that familiar failing. The attempt at double tracking vocals as Dagny did is almost tragic, because between the two takes, the loud one is still loud. And although, at its core, this remains a good song with decent new lyrics, that is the problem: the loud one is still loud. [6]

Alfred Soto: The chorus rush would be sweet and necessary if Zedd didn't encourage Katy Perry to yell so loudly. If Robert Plant sang like a second lead guitar, Perry sings like a third sandblaster. [3]

Katherine St Asaph: Zedd's dismissal of the non-Zedd parts of his songs has been noted lately, but the selling point of "Never Really Over" actually isn't its vocalist. Almost literally any of Katy Perry's peers (her Katy Peerys?) would be better on this, both in vocal quality and emoting: Carly Rae Jepsen, Pink, Demi Lovato, even Sabrina Carpenter or Madison Beer. It kind of feels like Katy is only here to lend name recognition to a midlist pop single at best. [5]

Will Adams: It's really odd to see so many highlight the chorus here as Katy's "catchiest yet," when that chorus comes directly from a song that's not even two years old (contrast with something like "7 Rings"). The whole song, even, is a vocal swap away from being "Love You Like That (Zedd Remix)" (and given that Katy's typical word-mangling voice is in full force here, it'd be a welcome reprieve). It's still catchy, it's still effervescent, and I'll take this over anything from Witness, but it definitely bludgeons this impact of this comeback. [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[tiogreenapblen1988-blog]

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[eldritchsurveys]

176.

part 6 of that weird long bzoink survey

Have you ever mowed the lawn? >> A couple of times long ago.

Do you get an allowence? >> No, I get an income.

Where do your parents work? >> ---

Did you ever know your great grandparents? >> No.

What does family mean to you? >> It doesn’t really mean anything to me. For all intents and purposes, Sparrow is the only person that counts as “family” because once we’re married that’s literally what we’ll be, legally. I have no connections to the people I’m blood-related to, and I’m not even interested in having “family” at this point because it’s been such a source of bullshit for me. I don’t even want “in-laws” lmao because her mother is always like “you’re part of the faaaaamily” meehehfhhhhhhh fuck that.

What does friendship mean to you? >> I don’t know. I’ve always had a hard time really understanding what a friend is supposed to be for me, which is partly how I ended up in so many bad friendships. I would like to be in a mutually beneficial friendship, but I’m really not sure how they work, and no one I’ve asked about it seems to have had any insight except, you know, “don’t be a dick”-type advice, which is largely general.

What does true love mean to you? >> Love is just behaviour, for me. A way of treating people that shows compassion, appreciation, and interest. I don’t really know any other way to think of it than that.

What's your favorite band/group/singer? >> I don’t know, man, I have a million.

What's your favorite movie? >> The Fountain. Also, Interstellar. Also, Sunshine.

TV show? >> I like a lot of tv shows, I don’t really have any stand-out ones.

What radio station do you listen to most often? >> I don’t listen to radio.

Do you get snow days often where you live? >> Yes, unfortunately.

Do you try to run from things that are bothering you? Does it work? >> I try to distract myself from things that I can’t do anything about, or feelings that aren’t productive. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

Can you smell fear? >> I’m guessing not.

Would you ever pet a lion? >> If I had an opportunity and could guarantee not getting eaten, sure.

What's your favorite perfume? What's your favorite cologne? >> I like oils. Like from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab.

What's your favorite overall smell? >> I don’t have one.

What's your favorite sign? (star, heart, rainbow, skull) >> I’m not sure.

Do you know how to play marbles? >> I didn’t know there was a specific game related to them.

Do you know how to play jacks? >> I do now, but when I had them as a child no one taught me that there was a game you’re supposed to play, so I kinda just fiddled around with them.

Do you know how to play poker? >> I’ve forgotten by now.

Tape or tacks? >> Depends.

Plastic, wood, or wire clothes hangers? >> I prefer wood, but they’re more expensive.

Do you have a light in your closet? >> There’s a light in the main bedroom’s closet.

Do you collect spare change lying around the house? >> No.

Do you like the taste of Tums? >> Not particularly, but it’s not terrible.

How about Pepto Bismol? >> I’ve never tasted it.

Do you have a fast or slow metabolism? >> I don’t know. I’m guessing it’s average.

Do you drink coffee? >> No.

Is the room you are in right now a mess? >> Not really.

When you slip and fall do you laugh it off or freak out? >> I definitely laugh. Especially if it seemed like it probably looked comical to an observer (which a lot of falls really do).

What is your definition of feaking out? >> I don’t know, there’s a lot of ways to freak out.

Have you ever played in a refridgerator box? >> Nope.

Do you still draw with chalk? >> Nah.

Have you ever finger painted? >> I don’t recall having done so, but who knows.

Have you ever had a pie in your face? >> No, thank god.

Ever bobbed for apples? >> No.

Ever hit a piniata? >> No.

Played pin the tail on the donkey? >> No.

Have you ever been on tv/the radio? >> I’ve been on television.

What's your favorite number? >> 9, or 19.

What's your favorite letter? >> V.

What's your favorite color?  >> Gold.

(>0.0)><(0.0<) <- Is that cute to you? >> Sure. Looks like two Kirbys.

What's your favorite onomatopoeia? (Crash, bang, zoom, meow) >> Hmm... zoom is fun.

Have you ever been fishing? Is it really all that much fun? >> I’ve never been. I figure it’s probably more relaxing than fun, but I wouldn’t actually know.

Ever been minurature golfing? >> Yeah.

Are you a tennis geek? >> No.

Computer geek? >> I don’t really consider myself any kind of ‘geek’.

Video game geek? >> ---

Anime geek? >> ---

D&D geek? >> ---

Are you one of those people who watch Naruto? >> “One of those people”, lol. Okay. Anyway, no, I don’t watch it.

Do you agree that even Pokemon is better than naruto? >> I really don’t have an opinion.

Ninjas or dinosaurs? >> Hm.

Do you watch stand up comedy? >> Sometimes.

What's your favorite tv network? >> I don’t know. I don’t usually watch regular television.

Do you have one night that you could play on repeat forever and ever? >> Nah, I’m good.

Is there one dream you wish you could just live through once? >> Any of the ones I’ve had about Idris Elba, lmfao.

Do you think people with a British accent are hot? How about Australian? Irish? >> I’m really attracted to the cadence of some Irish accents. A person still has to be otherwise attractive to me for me to be attracted to them, though; the accent isn’t going to override everything else.

What is your ethnic background? >> As far as I know, Black American, Native American, and Haitian.

Do you eat ramen? >> Sure.

How about microwavable pot pies? >> Not so much anymore, but I do like them.

What's your favorite topping on popcorn? >> I like kettle corn.

Sweet or regular pickles? >> Regular. Every time I think I want a sweet pickle, just one slice is enough.

Have you ever tried pickled eggs? >> No.

What's the grossest thing you've ever tasted? >> Whatever it is, I don’t remember it now.

Have you ever lied about your age? >> No.

Do you look your age? >> Apparently not.

What age do you look? >> According to people I’ve polled in random places over the past few years, I seem to look somewhere between 21 and 27 to most.

What kind of dreams do you have most often? >> I don’t know, anymore.

Do you even dream a lot at all? >> I’m not sure. I don’t remember upon awakening. I guess this is the tradeoff -- I haven’t had sleep paralysis in months, but I also feel really distant from my dreamself now.

What is the name of your favorite teacher of all time? >> ---

What is your mom's name? Dad's? >> ---

Do you have any siblings? If so what are their names?  >> ---

When was the last time you threw up? >> I don’t remember. Probably at Gardella’s like 6 months ago or whenever it was.

What's the worst part about throwing up? >> The anticipation, I guess.

What do you do for personal growth? >> *shrug*

Do you wear jewlery a lot? >> I’m usually wearing it.

Would you rather die burning or die freezing to death? >> I don’t know how either feels, so how could I really choose?

In other words do you prefer the hot or the cold? >> At this point in my life I prefer the heat, even with my sensitivity to it.

Do you really believe that in 2012 we're all gonna die? >> Oh, so that’s how old the survey is.

Where do you think the Mayans went? >> I’m sure there are anthropologists and paleontologists that have some idea about this.

Who do you think built the pyramids? >> The people that lived there at the time...? Is there evidence someone else did? Or just conspiracy theories, as always?

If you could read anyone's mind who would be the first person you'd read? >> No, thanks.

Who's your number one on your friends list? >> ---

Do you know what the word Mollycoddle means? >> Yeah.

Do you think it's cheating to put questions on here that aren't real Qs? >> No, I just delete them.

Have you ever been dizzy without spinning? >> Yeah.

Do you like to make yourself dizzy? >> No.

Do you agree that milk cold is the equivilent of butt warmth? >> What.

Do you believe that if you want something enough you'll get it? >> No, because there still needs to be some effort put in, not just really hard wishing. But I do think that desire can be motivation to put in that effort, so in that sense, sure, yeah.

Have you ever wished on a star? Did it ever come true? >> No.

Have you ever thrown a penny in a wishing well? >> No.

What was your favorite mall ride? (mini carousel, pony, helicopter) >> Hmm.

Do you take care of your cuticles? >> No, I just leave them alone (which is better than young!me, who used to pick at them constantly).

Do you even know what a cuticle is? >> Yeah.

Do you believe that everyone has a soul mate? >> No.

If you could keep any person in the world as your pet who would it be? >> LOL nah, I like my inworld pets best.

How would you treat them? >> How I’d treat a pet would be determined by both their desires and their limits, and my energy level lol.

Would you put them on a leash when you went out? >> No, because I think that’s kind of... uncouth. Doing that sort of thing in public, I mean. There are plenty of discreet ways to be kinky without having to like... advertise it like that.

How would you punish them when they were naughty? >> That depends on what was agreed upon.

Are these inappropriote questions? >> For many people, they certainly would be. I just happen to not care.

I'm sorry. Have you ever seen Scary Movie? >> I’ve seen #3, but that’s it.

Which is bigger? The Godfather or Star Wars? >> Er...

What are your views on the second Godfather movie? >> ---

It sucked I think. Anyway are you inbred? >> Well, no.

What's your favorite text word? (lol, wtf, brb, g2g) >> I don’t know.

PC or Mac? >> I use PC.