#and no matter what goes on I hope everyone feels at least a little proud of themselves

[multifanforevers-blog]

No for real.

on some level i am proud of me now but all the youngest versions of me are not. it’s okay though because they don’t know what we went through

[meazalykov]

overstimulated

lea schüller x adhd!anxiety!reader

summary: it might feel like the world is ending for you, but lea is there is help.

warnings: tiny angst, the "downsides" to adhd!!, mentions of medicine, anxiety, I hope you enjoy.

it’s game day, and you’re a tangled mess of thoughts before the alarm even goes off. the energy of your mind that courses through you every morning feels magnified today, like your brain can’t decide if it’s excited or terrified. 

the champions league second leg against arsenal in london. a big match, sure, but after last month’s win, it should feel lighter, easier.

yet, your chest feels tight, your mind replaying every mistake you could possibly make, every way you might fall short. 

your foot taps against the floor as you sit on the edge of the bed, staring at your packed kit bag in the hotel room, unable to remember if you double checked the contents. 

you should feel confident. that first leg game was your best game in months. a goal and three assists.. people were raving about you, calling you a maestro. even your teammates had hugged you extra tight after the final whistle. 

yet, instead of holding onto that joy, your brain latched onto the thought that today won’t be the same. maybe you’ve peaked. maybe that was your limit. maybe today, you’ll mess up so badly that everyone will see through you, see how different you’ve always been.

lea stirs beside you, her sleepy voice pulling you out of your spiral. 

“baby, you’re tapping.” her hand reaches for yours, warm and grounding, wrapping around your restless fingers. 

“what’s going on?” 

you glance at her, your beautiful girlfriend, her soft blonde hair sticking up in places from sleep. she’s everything you wish you could see in yourself..kind, patient, steady. you hesitate, feeling a lump rise in your throat. 

how do you explain that it’s not just the game, not just the usual pre-match nerves? it’s the way your adhd always seems to betray you, even now, even after years of managing it. 

“just... thinking about the match,” you mumble, not meeting her eyes. 

lea’s not fooled, of course. she sits up, resting her chin on your shoulder, her voice soothing. 

“you have been amazing this season so far, and you’ll be amazing today. i know you feel a lot, but you’re not alone in this, okay?”

the blonde’s words should comfort you, and they do, a little. however, there’s that nagging voice in the back of your mind, whispering that you’re doing too much. too hyper when you’re happy, too irritable when overstimulated, too anxious all the time.

even with medication, even with years of practice, there are moments where it feels like your adhd is this shadow you can’t shake, this weight you can’t stop carrying.

the morning drags on in a blur. breakfast is a struggle..you can’t focus on the food in front of you, too busy replaying different scenarios in your head. what if you misplace a pass? what if you lose your marker? what if arsenal turns this match into a nightmare? 

lea’s presence helps, her gentle reminders to eat, to breathe, to focus on the present. she kisses your temple before you leave for the stadium, her lips lingering like she’s pouring all her love into you. 

“you’ve got this,” she says, her voice firm and full of belief. 

“no matter what happens, i’m so proud of you.”

on the bus to the stadium, you sit quietly, headphones on but not really listening to the music. your teammates chatter around you, relaxed and confident. you wish you could feel that way, but your heart races as the bus pulls closer. you zone out, daydreaming about the many scenarios that could take place today. 

stepping off the bus, the noise from outside grows, the chants echoing in your chest. you keep your head down, clutching your bag tightly as you follow the others inside. the locker room is its own storm of energy…laughter, shouts, the clatter of cleats on the floor. 

it’s a lot. you’re a lot. or at least, that’s how it feels. you try to center yourself, focusing on the routine: tape your wrists, lace your boots, warm up. the yelling in your head doesn’t stop, your thoughts racing faster with every passing second.

when warmups start, you feel the weight of the stadium’s gaze. every pass, every touch of the ball feels scrutinized, even though it’s just practice. you can hear the fans chanting, cheering, and it’s both exhilarating and overwhelming. 

your heart pounds, the familiar ache of doubt creeping in. the last game against arsenal feels like a distant memory now, like it happened to someone else entirely. you’re not sure if you’re ready for this.  

you catch lea’s eye from where she’s sitting on the bench, her hands cupped around her mouth as she shouts something you can’t quite make out. however, her smile…it’s the same soft, steady smile she always gives you, the one that says she sees you, really sees you, and loves you anyway. 

it’s the only thing that makes you feel like maybe, just maybe, you’ll be okay.

well, 

you were not. 

the second half started much like the first…fast-paced, intense, and frustratingly scoreless. you were holding your own defensively, shutting down arsenal’s dangerous counters from players like beth and emily, but the anxiety bubbling in your chest wouldn’t settle. 

the bayern teammates of yours were playing well, yet it wasn’t enough to quiet the chaos in your head. the noise from the crowd, the shouts from the sidelines, even the sharp sound of cleats striking the ball…it all felt amplified, like the world was pressing down on you slowly and with torture. 

your adhd had been a constant companion for as long as you could remember, but today, it felt like it was running the show. every sound, every movement on the pitch seemed to pull at your focus, scattering your thoughts like a broken puzzle. 

one moment you were tracking arsenal’s number nine, the next your mind was stuck replaying a missed pass from ten minutes ago. even when you tried to shake it off, the nagging voice in your head wouldn’t stop: 

what if i am not good enough? what if this match proves it?

you tightened your jaw, forcing yourself to stay in the game. your body felt overstimulated, like your nerves were on high alert. the fabric of your jersey clung uncomfortably to your skin, the sweat dripping down your face stinging your eyes. 

it wasn’t just the physical discomfort; it was the weight of your own thoughts. they moved too fast, too loud, colliding in a whirlwind you couldn’t control. 

why can’t i just focus? why can’t i just be normal?

then came the clash with katie. it was the 80th minute, and arsenal had just launched another attack. you’d been frustrated all game, and katie had been particularly aggressive. 

when you collided mid-sprint, her shoulder digging into yours, it felt like a spark hitting dry kindling. the shove she gave you wasn’t unexpected..katie was known for her temper among the community. 

however, your reaction was. without thinking, you shoved her back, harder than you meant to. the force sent her stumbling, nearly to the ground.

the whistle blew sharp and loud, cutting through the noise of the game. suddenly, players from both teams surrounded you, their voices rising in protest. your heart pounded as you tried to explain yourself, but your words came out tangled. 

you weren’t like this. you were one of the the sweet ones, the calm one. this wasn’t you…but it was. your frustration, your overstimulation, your inability to control the buzzing chaos in your head,

it had boiled over. 

lea was there, her voice clear amidst the chaos. 

“hey! calm down!” she shouted, not just at the others but at you too. the blonde’s presence grounded you for a moment, but the panic was already setting in. your chest felt tight, your mind spinning faster than ever. you told yourself it would be fine, that things would calm down, but another part of your brain whispered the opposite. 

what if this ruins everything? what if they see me as a problem now?

the match ended 1-1, and relief washed over you, though it was fleeting. the whistle’s final blow signaled the end, but your thoughts refused to let go. 

you sank to the grass, pulling your knees up and burying your head in your hands. the world felt too big, too loud. your breath hitched as you fought back tears, your fingers curling into the blades of grass beneath you.

you felt someone’s hand on your back just a minute later..

klara knelt beside you, her voice soft. 

“hey, come on, let’s get inside.” her touch was gentle as she helped you up, guiding you toward the locker room. you didn’t resist, too drained to argue.

 once inside, away from the noise, you leaned against a wall, feeling the weight of everything crash down on you.

“don’t tell lea,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. 

“please, just let her talk to obi or someone else. she doesn’t need to worry about me.” 

klara frowned, hesitating. 

“you know she’ll kill me if I don’t tell her that you’re not okay. you’re her whole world, y/n.”

you sighed, defeated. 

“fine. just… don’t make it a big deal.”

as if on cue, exactly one minute after klara left, lea jogged into the locker room, her eyes scanning until they landed on you. she rushed to your side, crouching in front of you. 

“what’s going on? klara said you weren’t okay.” her voice was soft, but her concern was clear.

you opened your mouth to respond, but the words caught in your throat. the tears you’d been holding back spilled over, and you hated it. you hated feeling this vulnerable, hated not knowing why you felt so out of control. 

“i don’t know,” you choked out. 

“lea i really do not know! my mind… it won’t stop. it’s like i can’t slow it down, and i hate it. i hate this.”

lea pulled you into her arms, her hold firm but soothing. 

“it’s okay, baby. let it out. i’m here. you’re safe. its just us right now.”

as you sobbed into her shoulder, a thought struck you like lightning. 

“did i even take my medicine this morning?” you asked aloud, your voice shaky. your stomach dropped as realization dawned. 

“fuck,” you muttered. “i left it in munich. lea, i’m so sorry. i’m such an idiot.”

she pulled back slightly, her hands cupping your face. 

“hey, stop. you’re not an idiot. it happens. we’ll get through this, okay? tomorrow we’ll be on the plane home, and you can take it then. tonight, you just need to rest.”

lea’s voice was like a balm, calming the storm in your mind. she pressed her forehead to yours, her thumbs brushing away your tears. 

“you’re not alone in this. i’ve got you.”

she kissed the top of your forehead, as if to kiss the chaos in your mind away. your thoughts were cooling down, not so much as you tap your boot on the ground rapidly, but at least you had your lea– the woman who loved you regardless of yourself being ashamed for being neurodivergent. 

author's note: I kind of wrote this for myself as someone with both anxiety and adhd (and sometimes cannot tell the difference in my symptoms).

masterlist

[littlebittyhollowbugs]

I will never love any interpretation of Ghost, Hollow and Hornet more than I love the interpretation of them being ultimately good, fighting for peace for everyone around them, caring deeply for Hallownest (or what remains of Hallownest at least) and caring deeply for each other and peace for their family at last.

I love kind Ghost.

Ghost who goes out of the way to gift flowers to lonely bugs.

Ghost who will rescue Zote whenever given the opportunity, without thanks or any form of reward.

Ghost who rescues grubs because they are trapped and crying to be freed.

Ghost who despite having limited ability of expression, will find some way to convey appreciation for others. (Sitting beside them. Listening to them talk or sing. Bowing out of respect.)

Ghost who is excited when in the company of good friends.

Ghost who spares the life of the nailsmith.

Ghost who mourns the loss of those fallen.

Ghost who eventually remembers their past, remembers being abandoned by their sibling, and still chooses to fight, to do everything that it takes, to free the hollow knight. To put an end to their suffering. To take Hollow's place, or to die.

There is no reward for this. There is nothing to gain. Ultimately Ghost is willing to suffer forever or to die in order to give others peace.

Ghost makes many many mistakes, and can make selfish or reckless decisions, but ultimately, Ghost is forgiving and loving.

I love Hollow who genuinely wants the people of Hallownest to be at peace. (Ironically just wanting that alone made it impossible for Hollow to grant them that peace.

But still, Hollow wants that.)

Hollow who loves Hallownest. Who loves their father and who loves his kingdom.

Hollow who is relentless in protecting it. Who would suffer for over a hundred years protecting whatever there is that can possibly be saved.

Hollow who has had the radiance influencing it all that time. The radiance who hates the king, who hates his people. Who tried to convince it to hate them to.

Hollow who loves them regardless.

Who feels empathy for everyone. Who understands their suffering more than anyone and wants nothing more than for them to have peace.

Hollow who, after finally being freed, chooses to live a kind life. To be understanding and gentle.

Who has every right to be bitter and angry and closed off, but who, after finally receiving the opportunity to live, to actually live, chooses to find everything good left in the world that they fought so hard for.

Hollow who learns to love openly and to no longer be afraid.

Hollow who is eventually excited to be able to express love in small ways.

Hollow is stalwart and just. But kind.

Hornet who, despite everything that she went through, despite losing so much, nearly everything, continues to stand and to fight for life because it still matters to her.

Hornet who fights to honor those that she lost, especially her mother.

Hornet who is hesitant to be hopeful, but is hopeful anyway.

Hornet who is hesitant to form any friendships out of fear that she will lose them, But who longs for friendship, for family..

Hornet who is proud of her siblings, who loves them despite not wanting to, who feels guilt knowing that the fate of the kingdom must rely on them.

Hornet who will rush in to assist her siblings in their final battle, knowing that she may very well die.

Hornet who, after given the opportunity to be with her siblings again, wants nothing more than to help them heal. For them all to heal.

Hornet who loves and is loved in return.

Ghost and Hollow who love, and are loved in return.

A little broken family that understands each other, understands that nothing that happened to any of them was fair, and who forgive each other, who love each other because after all this time..

They finally can.

Not one of them is without their (sometimes severe) flaws. Not one of them isn't damaged after everything that has happened.

And still they choose love.

This quote by Mary Shelley captures my interpretations of the siblings perfectly.~

"Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it”

[innerfare]

Sabo’s Type 

Summary: A collection of random headcanons describing Sabo's type

Genre: Angst

CW: None // SFW

———

Sabo is such a show off, it’s no joke. It’s for this reason he has such a thing for a damsel in distress. He really enjoys the opportunity to flex his powers. (Flashback to Dressrosa arc and him swooping in to rescue Rebecca but leaving poor Bartolomeo lmao.) But he likes it even more if showing off doesn’t work, since it works on basically everyone else. 

Someone who is unimpressed, or at least initially hides it from him. Sabo lives for a challenge. While he loves it when people fawn over him, he’ll become a little obsessed with someone who shrugs at his dragon claw and fire fruit ability, who brushes off his pretty face and muscular body, who doesn’t care that he’s the second in command of the Revolutionary Army and is going to tell him exactly what they think of him.  

Someone with a voice like honey that makes him want to kick his habit of hanging up the transponder snail in the middle of the call and instead stay on the other line for hours listening to them talk about nothing. 

Someone powerful. Someone who can not only hold their own in battle so he doesn’t have to constantly worry about them but also someone who can spar with him. Someone who has undergone rigorous martial arts training and insists their style is more powerful than his dragon claw. Someone who triggers his competitive side. 

Someone who will make fun of him, even going so far as to poke fun of his heritage (without going too far). The odd joke about Sabo being a pampered aristocrat will get his blood boiling. He’s the type to ignore all the people fawning over him and go straight for the person who seems uninterested (side note: Sabo does not respect the ring; if you’re married and he wants you, he’s going for you). 

Someone with as much a reason to hate the World Government as he does, perhaps even more of a reason. Someone who wants to see the world burn. But also someone who starts out as his enemy, so maybe a marine or member of Cipher Pol with a traumatic backstory working as a double agent for the Revolutionary Army. 

Someone who likes his scars. He’s come to view them as a symbol of his failure to escape Goa on his own, and even as a symbol of the reason he couldn’t be there for his found family, so he doesn’t feel proud of them the way a warrior should. But if you’re proud of them, if you run your fingers over them, he’ll grin like a fool. 

Someone who is well read and a good enough writer to read his manuscript and offer feedback, someone who can edit some of the pages and offer him some direction when he’s not sure which direction to go in. Someone who agrees with his point of view on the subject matter (typically the corruption of the World Government) and can aid him in getting that across. 

Someone who makes him feel safe enough to ask for affection. Sabo isn’t really used to positive reinforcement. Though he received some once he joined the Army, a rough childhood without a drop of real softness has left him a little thirsty for someone to run their fingers through his hair while he vents about everything wrong in the world. 

Low-key has mommy issues, craves a woman who will make him food, take a bath with him, and tuck him into bed. Refuses to admit it, though. This folds into him craving a more feminine partner because he's been surrounded by so much roughness. One of his guilty pleasures is definitely crushing on the young noble women he's supposed to be usurping.

Someone who doesn’t hesitate to make his family their own, who falls right into the ranks of the Revolutionary Army and makes themselves at home with the Straw Hats (I think it goes without saying Sabo's SO has to have Luffy's stamp of approval). 

———

Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!

[veersnz]

News of a new Beginning

I am beyond exhausted right now but I wanted at least try and write something tonight. And where do I even begin… I’m overwhelmed by emotions right now, good ones I promise.

As today marks the day I finally graduated high-school. And some may wonder; « but Veer, you’re 22, how come you’re only graduating now ? »

The story is a little complicated but yes, I did start high-school just like everyone else my age over 8 years ago. 8 years ago was also when I started my recovery journey, and as with any journey, nothing is ever goes smoothly and to fulfill it I had to drop out of school. I tried my best over the years to go back and finish my education but I faced many challenges that made it nearly impossible. I managed to finish two of the three years of high-school over a period of 7 years between many hospital stays and periods of great difficulties. In my heart I knew I was getting too old to go back to high school, the gap between me and my peers was widening each year and with it grew the fear of going back, of feeling out of place, alone and crushed by the weight of my own expectations. I was raised believing my academic achievements made my worth and I’m sure many will relate to that, this fear of never being enough. So I almost made peace with never having the future I wished for. But truthfully, this future I had imagined for myself wasn’t mine, it was someone else’s dream. And I was left stranded on the shores of those wishes, not having the faintest idea of what my life would become. And I almost made peace with that.

I clung to those realizations until last September when I enrolled in this special needs school far away from my home. One last time, I thought, one more chance. I didn’t know what I wanted to do after that, if I even managed to stay until the end. But it didn’t matter, my family believed in me, so did my therapist and my friends, even after so many failed attempts they kept their faith intact. And this love, I think that’s what helped me make the decision.

So I took that leap of faith, got a small room and started living on my own for the first time while pursuing my education. I would lie if I said it was an easy ordeal, many obstacles came in my way and I almost gave up, many times. But with the help of my family, friends and the incredible people I met at this school I persevered. I am very aware of the incredible luck I had that September of 2023, being surrounded by so many loving and caring people. I couldn’t be more grateful. And you all count to, it may seem silly because this is « just a kink community » but I’ve met so many brave souls, incredible people and so much love even from afar. Having this positive presence in my life has brought me strength and respite sometimes from the outside world, even just for a moment sometimes. And for that I am eternally grateful.

And so after 11 months I am graduating with the highest honors and finally putting an end to this journey of 8 years. Of course the path to recovery will continue on, but I am turning to a new page of my life’s story and I couldn’t be happier and grateful. I’m still probably in shock and the realization will settle over me in the next few days. But today, today I know that I’ve reclaimed my future.

I know there will be many more challenges, uncertainty and pain to face but tonight I am basking in the happiness of having accomplished something my past self could only dream about. And I hope the parts of myself I left behind are proud of me.

Thank you ❤️

[st4rgzer]

ORANGE JUICE matt sturniolo

summary: y/n comes back after a few tough months (very much recommend listening to orange juice by noah kahan before reading)

genre: fluff and angst

cw: big TW for recovering and becoming sober :)

a/n: again, theres more info in the songs if this doesn’t make much sense but yeah, hope y’all like it<3, will do more song rec fics, i love them

The triplets called me today, they heard I was better and they were hanging out with Nate and some other friends, so I decided to tag along.

It’s been 6 months on the dot since I got sober, I think they know about it. I’ve kind off disappeared from the face of the earth, changing myself, and I wasn’t sure if some people would approve.

I knock on the door and I’m greeted by Nick immediately, he engulfs me in a hug that lasts about a minute

“nick I missed you too but I think that’s enough” I laughed, trying to unwrap his arms, he eventually does it himself.

“yeah stop hogging her!” Chris says before wrapping his arms around me in yet another never ending hug. After a bit, Im left standing in front of Matt, he’s different, he’s grown a little bit of a beard, barely a beard, more like a stubble, a smile creeps up on my face, a familiar one, a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time.

“you look great” he smiles at me, coming closer and embracing me in my third hug in the span of 5 minutes, I linger there for a little longer, he sighs and rests his head on the crook of my neck, his words tickle. “I’ve missed you, a lot” I giggle a bit as the stubble brushed against me jawline. I break from the hug as soon as I remember Nick, Chris, and Nate are waiting on us. “I missed you too” I whispered before Nick began ranting on about the things I’ve missed.

“And we’ve been on tour! And we’re going again soon” he explains as the end of his Ted talk comes to an end.

“wow! Thats great, im so happy for you guys” I can’t help but have a huge smile on my face, looking at the three and realizing how much they’ve grown without me, and the fact they’ve waited for me and they’re not mad at me for leaving, no questions asked.

“What have you been up to?” Matt asks with a quiet voice “if you don’t mind us asking” he quickly reassures me I don’t have to say anything I’m not comfortable with.

“Well, I’ve been getting help, doing better now” I leave it there, not wanting to give any more information than I needed to, not right now at least.

“That’s amazing, we’re proud of you” Matt places a hand on mine for comfort, everyone nods agreeing.

“Wanna help me with the snacks?” Matt breaks the silence, I nod and he leads me to the kitchen, it hasn’t changed a bit since I got here, there’s just more stuff, it’s more lived in, I like it.

I open the fridge and see a row of beers at the bottom, probably for when friends come over, my body goes tense and the sounds around me become muffled, I snap out of it when Matt pats on my shoulder.

“Hey, you alright?” He ask’s concerned, I know he’s trying to keep a calm expression but I can tell he’s worried.

“Yeah I’m fine just- got caught up for a second” I utter out with a sigh, I don’t notice my hand trembling till he grabs it.

“Theres orange juice here, I know it’s your favorite” he says softly, rubbing the palm of my hand, making sure I looked at him in the eyes so I wouldn’t get distracted with something else.

“Yeah? Thanks, I’ll get it then” I smile at him, he kissed the tips of my fingers gently

“Anything you need ok? Count on me, please” he begged, looking at me with sincerity, no games.

I nodded and the corners of my mouth turned upwards as it hit me that I was with him again, after such a long time, for me at least. I then grabbed the orange juice from the fridge and poured myself a cup, Matt glancing at me with a smile on his face as I did so.

Our hearts have changed, our faces have changed, but we’ll always find our way back to each other, no matter the changes we succumb to, and I’ll always hold that in my heart.

taglist: @iha8you @dwntwn-strnlo @slaysturniolo @stvrni0lo @strniolo @gabbylovesreading @sturn3g1rl @ifilwtmfc

[emry-stars-art]

I hate drake so much i hope he dies a painful death in your royal AU 😡

Fairly certain this is gonna be a common agreement yes

Honestly in one version of events I just imagine Drake making a stupid mistake in a battle or border dispute and getting himself killed like a coward or an idiot because he is both of those things

In ANOTHER version I was talking about with @jtl-fics and @paradoxolotl we can make it as dramatic as we want ✨

And honestly I’ve been meaning to write it! I even started writing it, but as I went I realized it has the potential to get wayyy out of hand by way of scenes (in that it would become several scenes bc there’s so much to cover) so instead of waiting to be fully finished, I am going to give us all an early sparknotes or summary of events

What I DID write all the way was what might happen when Abram and the prince run into Spear at a ball/event: here.

(⬆️POV you are a very stupid baron and you’ve just made your very last mistake)

Find the royal au writing masterpost here 💕

After all that (the snippet) goes down, Spear is probably very angry. How dare the prince act so ungrateful to his family, how dare he be threatened by the Evermore mutt, and how dare he be publicly embarrassed like that. He’s too proud to even go fume about it on his own. He’s always had people and things to take his anger out on. So he reverts back to what he knows.

No one in the castle stops him on his search of the halls. They all recognize the Spear family - of course the Spears visited often, at least before, and often enough to send their prince to live with them. The twins and anyone else in the know about the prince’s time there are extremely private about it. The staff that see Spear have no reason to think anything of his presence at all.

But Abram is still standing watch at Andrew’s door, and he doesn’t seem about to leave. Spear likely thinks it doesn’t matter much - the brat is small and unassuming except for those nasty scars. Abram even gets distracted by a small crash coming from the direction of the stairs, wandering a little way down to see.

It should have been obvious not to underestimate an official royal bodyguard. Spear hasn’t even touched the door before Abram is there, pinning an arm behind his back as something sharp again presses to Spear’s jacket. The surprise knocks Spear against the prince’s door before Abram pulls him up and back a few steps.

Andrew does answer. Likely he thought it was Abram knocking, but as soon as he sees Spear he freezes. Spear doesn’t even have time to revel in the fear he caused - Abram uses all his weight to swing Spear around and shove him hard against the far wall. What Spear vainly thought was an empty threat before feels suddenly much more real, the way Abram doesn’t try to be at all gentle or careful. The blade is biting into Spear’s clothes.

And Spear is angry. The Evermore filth on him, the gall to treat Spear like this when Spear should be allowed to trample this brat under his horse. The brat thinking he had any say over the Palmetto prince.

He snarls, “Andrew, control your dog!”

And he doesn’t see it, but that snaps a little of Andrew’s panic. The only thing more potent than Andrew’s memories is his white hot anger at Abram’s, and even though Abram doesn’t react, Andrew absolutely refuses to let that slide.

Spear hears, “Dont let him touch you,” and then he’s released. Finally, he can get a little justice for this treatment. He turns and raises a hand to strike Abram.

Abram takes off his hand as he swings.

Andrew gets full oversight on Spear’s punishment. They have him convicted of untoward behavior, trespassing, and then Andrew allows ‘attempted destruction or harm of royal property’ only when he’s told it adds heavy consequence.

Really, it doesn’t matter all that much. Everyone in that room for the proceedings knows why he’s really there, and maybe those three charges wouldn’t always add up to a death sentence, but Aaron has been waiting for this chance. He adds ‘intention of treason’ to the trespassing charge and tells Andrew to do what he will.

Andrew doesn’t let Abram near it when they carry out the sentence. He does go through with some of his plans for Drake - he won’t ever make Drake pay 1:1 for what he’s done, but the magnitude would have been similar, had they gotten that far. They don’t, though. Andrew is doing just fine watching the proceedings, letting it pass through his eyes and ears and only be remembered when he really wanted. He had been sure he wanted this, he’d been sure it would be satisfying and cathartic. But he wasn’t feeling those things as much as he should have been.

Part of the punishment for treason is flogging. Andrew sees the strikes fall and it looks vaguely familiar. He’s seen those wounds and scars before. And suddenly it comes to him all at once; he doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t want to watch this. He just wants Drake dead. He wants Abram.

So he moves for the first time in several minutes.

“Enough. I’m finished.”

Aaron gives him a look but gestures to the soldiers or whoever else. Andrew stands and goes to leave and there’s a scuffle behind him, yells and pounding feet. Something unsheathed and then a heavy, sickening thud. Maybe even a cut off scream.

Even then he doesn’t turn around. He can’t make himself. Spear had charged him, he understands distantly. He doesn’t know who was just struck, but the only person that should have been so close to him was his brother.

He whispers, “…Aaron?”

“Go, Andrew,” Aaron says quietly, and Andrew finally breathes again. “Abram is waiting.”

So Andrew does go, and he spends a long time holding Abram, assuring himself that Abram is there in one piece and isn’t being harmed, Drake is no longer there and can’t harm anyone else. Maybe this is far enough in that Andrew can even let himself be held, too. So he does find the catharsis and satisfaction, but not in watching Drake suffer. Just in the fact that Abram allows him close enough to hold, to play with his hair, to fall asleep there curled up in the middle of his bed. Unused mattress to every side and no space between them.

[theshiftingcafe]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ shifting pick a pile ✧˖°࿐ ꒰"what do i need to hear right now?"꒱

hello! welcome to the shifting cafe!

for today's session, we'll be tackling about what exactly you need to hear right now in regard to shifting. basically, some simple advice.

i know a lot of you must be currently struggling with your shifting journey, so, i hope this simple pick a pile brings you comfort and leaves you with at least a little bit of clarity

REMEMBER: TAKE WHAT REASONATES, LEAVE WHAT DOESNT

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵

pick from at least one of these pictures:

∘₊✧───────────── pile 1 ─────────────✧₊∘

how have you been doing, pile one? the cards tell me that you’ve really been disappointed lately. not just with where you are in your shifting journey, but also especially with yourself. i’m getting the vibe that most of you haven’t exactly shifted yet, and you’re already getting so frustrated with it. sometimes, you start thinking to yourself if this was really meant to be for you, or if everything is just meant to hurt you over and over again.

the cards reassure you that all your hardwork will eventually pay off. all those restless nights, all those disappointments, all those frustrations, all those negative responses, will all be worth it in the end. you have such a strong determination and perseverance within you. even if you don’t realize it, you do! you’re willing to put up with anything and give as much, if not more than, the effort needed. and incase no one has told you yet, i am so so proud of you for it.

you’re going to, or currently going through, the end of an era. you’re leaving behind what no longer serves you and mourning all the losses you have experienced. change can’t be avoided, and change is necessary. so don’t be afraid. everyone goes through their own changes. no matter how small or big it is, every single one of us progresses forward one step at a time. perhaps the card is telling you to change something about yourself for your shifting journey. whether it be something simple like a method, or something bigger like your mindset or beliefs, remember to face it with courage and grace. also remember to be patient with yourself. make mistakes, have trials and errors, but never ever look down on yourself for them.

being fearful of shifting is completely understandable. but never let that fear swallow you into oblivion. you’re letting your emotions get the better of you and it’s slowly taking over the magic of how you view shifting. being overwhelmed with your emotions is perfectly normal, especially towards such a skill, but don’t let it get the better of your beliefs and judgment.

you’re definitely very committed to your journey, yet want to share your experiences with everyone else. maybe looking for a community like it perhaps? you’ve been thinking about it for a while now because it could benefit you as well like boost your belief and motivation in shifting. whatever it is, do whatever is necessary to bring your dreams and desires into fruition. because in the end, best believe you will succeed.

•------------------------------------------------------------•

that is all pile 1! thank you so much for stopping by the shifting cafe and spending this session with me. i hope to see you all again soon. happy shifting!

•------------------------------------------------------------•

∘₊✧───────────── pile 2 ─────────────✧₊∘

one word for this pile: early shifttok?

i feel like some of you reading this pile have discovered shifting through early shifttok and have consumed misinformation or are currently consuming misinformation without realizing it. you continue to look at shifting as this strict belief with certain rules that you can never break out of or have to follow 24/7 when really, you don’t. shifting isn’t some calculated experience where you have to be a certain person to shift. at the end of the day, as scary as it is, it’s you who makes yourself shift. not some random person on tiktok who claims to be an “all knower” of shifting, because honestly, shifting is still a big mystery to everyone. and i mean everyone. even me. so don’t be afraid to do anything out of the norm–or at least, out of the norm for shifttok. do a method differently, have a different outlook on shifting, whatever! it’s your journey, so why would you let other people influence it. there’s a big difference between considering suggestions and strictly following a single piece of advice. be wary which one you’re doing from tim to time, or else, you wont grow into your full potential.

you’re slowly losing your love for shifting, and i’m so sorry you feel that way. genuinely. you feel like you haven’t really gotten anywhere this whole time and you feel like you’ve just wasted your time and energy on everything. you’re finding it so hard to feel anything for shifting. no joy, no inspiration, not even sadness or frustration. just an empty hollow bittersweet feeling. you don’t feel any connection with your dr or shifting in general anymore and you’re ready to leave it all behind.

not a lot of people advise this, but personally, part of shifting to another physical body is also taking care of your current one. learn to appreciate simple everyday details of life. if you feel like you’re having a hard time doing so, start with something small like appreciating your meal or appreciating yourself for taking care of, well, yourself. if you’re having a hard time manifesting, start with something small like a penny on the floor or seeing a sticker on the wall. If you’re having a hard time connecting yourself with your dr, do mundane things like cleaning or brushing your hair and think about how you do this in your dr too. learn to live in the real world because this is exactly how you’re going to feel in your dr. it’s just as real as your current reality, and not some fantasy world where everything will go your way.

everythings not always going to end up right in your dr. you’re gonna knock a glass over and spill some milk, but the important part is calming down and cleaning the mess instead of freaking out and thinking you’re going to spill everything you touch. sit down for a second and realize that making a mistake is not a bad thing. it’s not your fault. it was never your fault. you made a mistake, you failed, you lost, and that’s perfectly ok. whats not ok is beating yourself up for it everyday instead of moving on or even learning from it and growing into a better person. the cards suggest turning to a spiritual path and slowly let go of your materialism. maybe a bit of shadow work would help?

sometimes, situations you plan for workout. sometimes, they don’t. but that isn’t a sign for you to just give up and punish yourself for something that you rarely ever have control of. life and shifting isn’t just a one chance moment and you aren’t just a one time wonder. there will be moments where you know exactly where you want to go, and either eventually succeed or eventually have a “try again” moment. other times, you will be wandering around aimlessly and uncertain about where you’re headed. you expect to then fail, right? but what if you succeed? what if you emit from the darkness and finally find light? because life will just forever be full of “what if”s, but it’s up to you whether you take the risk or not.

there’s absolutely no harm in trying as long as you’re ready to fail and reflect on it, and of course, be gentle and patient with yourself.

•------------------------------------------------------------•

that is all pile 2! thank you so much for stopping by the shifting cafe and spending this session with me. i hope to see you all again soon. happy shifting!

•------------------------------------------------------------•

∘₊✧───────────── pile 3 ─────────────✧₊∘

if you ended up on this pile, you must be someone who’s very curious. asking about anything and everything all of the time. but let me ask you this: have you ever questioned yourself? i can see you investing your physical and emotional energy into shifting, yet you feel like you’re not getting anything in return. have you checked up on yourself lately? you have so much potential within you, yet you refuse to do a double take and realize that less is more. you don’t have to over consume on materialistic things in the 3d plane because that’s only leading you to stay here enjoying watching whatever that is rather than in your dr where you could enjoy it in real time.

the cards tell me that you’re scared of something. perhaps your dr, your future there, or shifting in general. what are you so afraid of? Perhaps this fear is coming from past repressed issues that you just can’t shake off and continue to haunt you till this day. they remind you to not be afraid to ask for guidance and assistance. talk to someone about it, console to someone about your fears, and so much more. remember to put your own wellbeing first rather than your priorities because you wouldn’t be able to focus on these if you still have dark lingering thoughts at the back of your head.

you’re gonna have to step out of your comfort zone and make changes not only with your routine but also with yourself. i’m sure you don’t feel confident with yourself right now as you have recently been facing so many delays and disappointments, but i promise you, you’ll be alright. stop beating yourself up and thinking you don’t deserve good things because you do. and you deserve to shift. i can assure you, you’re meant for great things. you may not be glowing as brightly as you were, but that doesn’t mean you’ve stopped being a star. eventually, you’re going to get that spark back.

having a fog about what's next for you is perfectly normal. anxiety with what's to come is too. perhaps you’re becoming less interested in something you’ve devoted your whole body and mind to. a dr maybe? or an s/o? again, take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. don’t feel ashamed to let go and even replace your goals, wants, and needs. there are moments where you’re not going to be connected with your drs, but that’s perfectly normal. so don’t feel ashamed and beat yourself up for it. it’s your dr after all.

i can see you’ve recently been so emotional about your journey. just let it all out. if you have a friend, console them about your problems. if you have a journal, write your emotions out. understand what you’re feeling and understand why you’re feeling these emotions. but most importantly, don’t ever let your emotions get the better of you and control your actions towards yourself or others. feeling these are understandable. no one ever said this journey would be easy, and everyone’s experiences are different, but don’t let that discourage you. instead, let it inspire you more. so, wipe away those tears, dust off your knees, and take a deep breath before trying again. who knows? the next thing you know, you wouldn’t have even realized that you have already succeeded.

•------------------------------------------------------------•

that is all pile 3! thank you so much for stopping by the shifting cafe and spending this session with me. i hope to see you all again soon. happy shifting!

•------------------------------------------------------------•

・゜゜・．.・゜゜・・゜゜・．.・゜゜・・゜゜・．.・

that is it for today's pick a pile session! thank you so much for everyone who decided to participate/stop by and picked their piles for some guidance. i hope these resonated and i have interpreted them well for all of you.

if you have any suggestions for future pick a piles, please feel free to request through messaging me or leaving an ask!

for a personal tarot reading session, check out my carrd and order from my google forms!

thank you so so so much and i'll see you all soon! happy shifting!

・゜゜・．.・゜゜・・゜゜・．.・゜゜・・゜゜・．.・

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

So I've been struggling with gender identity and I was wondering if you could write a Male (demiboy?) Reader x Spencer or Derek (or both) coming out to the feds as Nonbinary? Like reader still wants to be seen as a guy, but at the same time also wants to be seen as gender nonconforming

(Maybe Reader feels euphoric when one of the police officers on their case who *dont* know about the coming out calls the reader "[name] is right, he- they are correct about this one thing" and it just makes Reader so so happy?)

Hiya! I hope you like this, it's been a hot minute since I've written a nonbinary character so I hope it's okay and I hope I articulated it well. Please reach out if I've said/written the wrong thing!

Warnings: talks of murder but like briefly

You had wanted to come out for a while, but weren’t exactly sure how. Obviously Spencer knew, you had kept him up to date with everything in regards to your identity. And he understood it, he was okay with it, he was as accepting as he physically possible. And when you told him you wanted to tell the team, he was extremely supportive, helping you brainstorm a variety of different ways to tell them. 

You decided to tell them that morning. Just as quickly as possible to get it over with. And so, half an hour later, you all sat in the briefing room for the morning meeting.

“Is there anything anyone would like to add?” Hotch asked, looking around. It was an informal meeting, usually more of a chance to drink coffee and try to wake up before starting work.

“Er, yeah.” You said.

“Of course.” 

“So it’s kind of not work related at all, but I’ve been wanting to tell you all for a while and figured no time like the present. But I’m Nonbinary. Like, I’m a guy but also I’m not?” You said. “So, like I don’t know how to explain other than I’m a guy but also not really.”

Hotch gives a small smile, “That’s alright. It’s difficult to put things into words,” He said, “But, we accept you and respect you no matter how you feel.”

You give him a smile. “Thank you sir.” You said, he gives a small nod.

“Oh, oh, pronouns!” Garcia exclaimed, “What are your pronouns? What are everyone’s pronouns?” She points her fluffy pen at everyone individually. 

“I’m he/him,” Spencer said, starting the circle, knowing you were probably a little nervous.

You took a small breath, “Er, He/They.” 

Everyone nodded.

“Sorry, just a quick question,” JJ said, “Do you have a preference for he or they? Or is it just either?”

“Either, there’s no preference for me, personally.” You give a small nod. Spencer reaches across, gently squeezing your knee.

JJ nodded, “Okay, thank you.” She gave a smile. “My pronouns are she/her.” 

When everyone had gone around with their pronouns and reassured you that none of them minded or thought less of you, the meeting ended and you all headed back to your desks. 

“I’m so proud of you.” Spencer whispered, kissing your cheek gently. 

The team adjusted to your pronouns seamlessly, making sure to use both he and they pronouns. Everything goes without a hitch. 

The next day you got a case, a local one. Multiple bodies with no distinct victimology. At least, that’s what you th

“I think the unsub’s a teenager.” You state, everything seemed to slot into place.

“I think (Y/N)’s right, I think he- they hit the nail on the head there,” The officer says, stumbling on your pronouns slightly, unsure as to which ones he should use (he figured using ‘they’ was a safe bet until he found out for sure - at least, that’s what his granddaughter had told him was the best option anyway). “It’s the most logical explanation.”

It takes all of your willpower not to beam.

[pekkhum]

Are you trans yourself or is it just your daughter? :0

And in any case, how is her transition going so far?

Sending much love <3

I think this will be more fun to answer via story time and the long mode answer:

Around the time of my 37th birthday I started seeing a couple incredibly hilarious and relatable memes about being trans go by on my feed. They were just so great that I found myself seeking out more and learning to understand trans folk more and more. I kept wanting to comment and holding myself back, because, of course I'm not trans, I just feel all the things trans women feel all the time and have struggled with those feelings since I was very, very young. Still cis, though.

There was eventually a day when the dam broke and I admitted online that I am trans, but it was three days later, while reading about internalized transphobia, that it all hit home. I had myself a nice little fit about how I didn't want to be trans, not because it is bad, but because the world makes life suck for trans people. (Actually, 6 months before, in the most egg moment ever, I told a woman that I had been thinking about how hard life as a transgender lesbian would be and that it would be much easier to be a straight guy. I was wrong for reasons most trans folk can guess.)

That day, I sat my child down to explain that I've realized that I am very much trans, that I have resources she can read to understand what that all means, and that I would let her other parent know, so she had someone else to talk to if she wanted. (Thankfully, we are peacefully divorced, so that wasn't an issue.)

I later found out that my child had devoured those resources, stolen one of my skirts my work-mom gave me (she's so supportive) and tried on names, pronouns, and skirts. It was a month later that she greeted me in the morning in a skirt and informed me that she was certain her feelings weren't something else and I discovered that I have a daughter! 😊

I was in the process of trying to get HRT and my insurance changed, then my health network intentionally and willfully screwed me over and yanked my chain, because they didn't want to provide a referral (it turned out to be owned by the Catholic church, here in America), but didn't want to admit their bigotry. I was forced to change health networks and get a new primary and wait months for a new appointment for a referral and my daughter's needs were similarly delayed, but she was even further behind! I had just gotten HRT when I was laid off and left with no insurance. This means I'm on an incorrect dose and my daughter hasn't gotten hers.

To make matters worse, our ADHD has made sitting down for voice training or learning makeup (it is so overwhelming!) difficult for us and we've not found others willing and able to help with the latter. My daughter has gotten a lot of nice clothing from her mama (I'm mom, the ex is mama 🤷‍♀️), and she just looks so cute, but she hasn't felt brave enough to present at school or anything. I'm hoping a GSA in college will help, but I'm making sure not to push her. She's still figuring out her personal vibe, but it seems to lean toward her mama's style, instead of my tastes, with just a few exceptions. Whatever she goes with, I'm proud beyond belief!

I joined a writer's group and only ever introduced myself under my unmistakably femme chosen name and everyone was cool with my very unfemme appearing dysphoria hoodie wearing self. I am grateful beyond belief. The dose may be too low, but the HRT has been very much working. Unfortunately, even freshly shaved with a straight razor, my beard is forever visible (I'm told a little blush or color corrector can hide that, but keep looking horrible when I try), but thanks to HRT, I at least saw a woman with a beard shadow, when last I walked into the bathroom. (Also, I fill out my sundress more, now!)

With family and friends, we are fully socially transitioned, though, and I am grateful, every day, for those we've been able to keep. It wasn't all, but it seems I'd already cut the problems, in advance. Also, we can both wear whatever around the house, so we dress for ourselves, at least.

We dressed up extra for our first Pride parade, though! I won't have a ton of opportunities to wear that rainbow skirt, but I love it greatly!

We are early in transition, with lots of problems yet to solve, but we are so much happier, so far. I'm finally alive and she finally cares about who she will be! We're also so much closer now and have opened up a lot more to each other. I adore my daughter and I'm so glad to be her mom! 💖🥲

[noraiir-arts]

Does anyone else have very complicated ways of shipping?? like when i say "i ship them" i don't mean "oh they love each other so much they kiss each other and will be together forever" i ship characters but in a way that's unique to only them and/or only in certain scenarios

Like, for example Zelink- I think pre-calam zelink was one sided, i dislike post-calam zelink, but i sort of like totk zelink (yes i know they are the same two people) but only certain dynamics??? but i also think that its the type of love that goes unsaid, they just look out for and support each other, maybe its not entirely romantic but they are closer than friends. It's the type of closeness you can only get by knowing that no matter what lifetime you are in the other will always be there. I don't think its necessarily the type where they hide behind pillars to make out, or try to stay in a committed relationship, but more of a tired love, one that has been renewed throughout hundreds of lives, each time being something different.

But take skyward sword, i believe that it's easier to see romantic zelink here

or Miphlink - I don't really ship this, but it's a tragic one-sided love story that Mipha knew was doomed from the beginning. The other woman. Was never given enough time to tell Link how she felt, yet even if she had time he might not have returned her feelings. Now he barely remembers her. Maybe 100 years later she's a little embarrassed of herself, of what she wrote in her diary. Maybe it was a simple crush, mistaken for undying love and has dwindled over the past century. But now it's a sad love, the type where she grieves for what used to be, and what never will. But after being saved from Ruta she switches her sights towards the domain. She can see how much her brother has grown and is so proud of him. She knows Link will never remember her fully, but maybe it's for the best. No matter what, she will always be there to heal his wounds.

Tbh i was dragged into Revalink kicking and screaming, but now it's one of my favorites. - Their dynamics work so well, but oh no it's so sad. Started from a one-sided "rivalry" to some sort of friendship. Link never hated Revali, he didn't even dislike him. And Revali just wanted Link to be impressed, to understand why he was chosen for his role as pilot, and he wanted Link to prove himself to Revali (honestly i can go on a on about why revali was harsh to link in botw if anyone wants me to) But over time they both start to realize that they are more similar to each other than any of the other champions. They weren't born into noble families or blessed with magic. Revali learns about the vigorous training Link underwent after pulling the sword, and Link learns that Revali isn't the son of the elder or was an important figure in his village before becoming a champion, but a simple warrior just like Link. Their friendship grows and they become a great team, surprising mostly everyone. Maybe it grows into something more. Maybe neither of them know it. Maybe they just never admit it. Revali knows Link doesn't remember him. He doesn't want him to. He tells Link not to go asking about him to the princess. It's for the best, he will still be there to help Link after all. Maybe it's cruel to keep him from knowing. Well, Revali will be gone soon anyway. Maybe he hopes that Link will at least remember good things about him.

Honestly I love revalink aus, they are my fav!!

I think of Zelimpa (aoc) like a mix of how i described miphlink and revalink but im too tired to explain it rnnnnn

oh also urbosa/zelda's mom but i think that goes unsaid

but anyway these are just a few. Most of the time i can't use words to exactly explain something pictured in my head, (synesthesia is so silly) but i tried my best

[deathbxnny]

Hey hey! Can I request a honkai star rail x male reader and the reader is a leader of an organisation about hunting a evil being and the reader have a three little brother the organisation is in 4th generation now and there about to celebrate but an attack of group of seven people end there target is the reader but reader have a very technology sword and defeat the attackers but the reader's youngest brother got injury and the reader got very angry that he order the organisation to hunt the rest of the group and give them a threat

The character is Dan heng, blade, welt, gepard, jing yuan or cealus , welt , arlan , sampo , luocha

Thank you and take care of yourself

-----♡

A/N: Hello, Anon! I'm going to admit, that I'm not very sure what exactly you want me to write about here scenario wise and was genuinely really at a loss with this one. I did my best to come up with something from all of this and I'm sorry if it wasn't right. I also limited this to 3 characters, as I have many asks to go through at the moment! Sorry, if I've disappointed you with this and hope you'll at least still enjoy it anyways!<33

Featured characters: Welt, Blade, Jing Yuan

Content: threats of violence, mentions of injury, hurt/comfort, male reader, established relationships(?)

Reader is asked to be a male in this, however no pronouns are really mentioned!

((Not fully proofread!))

-----♡

》Welt Yang

After finding out that you and your organisation had been attacked, he immideatly goes looking for you. Once he finds you, he makes sure that whoever attacked you and your family won't get away with this. The last thing he wanted was for you or anyone else to get hurt.

He's glad that you were at least able to defend yourself and made sure that the attackers didn't get away, in fact he feels quite proud. Though he'll probably stop you from threatening the evil guys any further, mainly so you don't endanger everyone else with it.

He'll help you calm down and take care of your brother first, before comforting you about what happened. He promises to look for the attackers himself later and keeps you close until your calm again. Just let him handle everything, no one will bother you again after he's done.

-----♡

》Blade

Safe to say that whoever dared attack you first is long gone, once he's done with them. He won't stand for this disrespect and makes it crystal clear as well. He'll definitely go and find you after immideatly, secretly very worried about you and your family that had shown him so much kindness.

He doesn't show much emotion and yet tries his best to comfort you and your brother. He swears that nothing like this would ever happen again and that he'll make sure no one ever gets that close to hurting anyone of you anymore.

He's definitely proud, that you can defend yourself so well though and will tell you as such with a surprising warmth. He will keep a better eye on you after that for sure too.

-----♡

》Jing Yuan

He immideatly comes in with backup to help you out with anything you need. Whether it be with hunting your enemies down or just keeping watch for a while just in case, doesn't matter. He's just glad no one died or got horribly hurt.

He'll comfort you and try keeping you calm, whilst also ordering for your little brother to be taken care of by a doctor. He tells you to relax and to just let him deal with it.

Is also very proud and impressed at how well you defended yourself. Though he promises to take care of everything from now on, as he doesn't want you to be in dangerous situations like that anymore.

-----♡

A/N: I hope this was okay. I did my best with what I understood and hope it was at least acceptable!<33

[zentriii]

Dating your enemies sibling

SakuAtsu or OsaSuna (you decide cause I can’t lol)

sakuatsu it is :D

Kiyoomi stretches languidly on her bed. She’s got the day off today and finally has a moment for herself after finishing up her chores. All she wants to do is watch anime with her girlfriend until it’s time for lunch.

“Omi-chan!” Atsumu singsongs, walking out of her bathroom in nothing but shorts and a tank top. Kiyoomi pretends like she can’t see her tits through it and rolls onto her stomach with a groan. She’d rather stare shamelessly, but Atsumu’s ruthless with her teasing and they’ve already had to change her bedsheets once today.

Atsumu drops down and plasters herself over Kiyoomi’s back, undoubtedly pouting at Kiyoomi lack of affection.

“Ugh you’re all wet, did you even dry yourself off?” Kiyoomi wreathes under Atsumu, hoping that there isn’t an Atsumu-shaped water stain across her back.

“Course I did,” Atsumu squawks. “Sides I wanted to ask ya-”

“No.” Kiyoomi cuts her off. Atsumu’s been asking her for the same thing all day- impressive given that the day’s not even half over- but her answer isn’t changing. Kiyoomi does not want to go to Osamu’s housewarming party next week.

A part of her is proud that she was able to afford her own home, that Onigiri Miya’s become a successful chain. But every other part of her is still a first year university student and unable to process her embarrassment and let go of petty resentment.

If Kiyoomi doesn’t think about it, it doesn’t matter.

“Pleaseee,” Atsumu whines softly in her ear.

Kiyoomi flips them over and straddles Atsumu’s lap before Atsumu can clock how off kilter that left her. It’s a last ditch attempt of changing the topic, but she takes advantage of the towel Atsumu dropped on their bed and works it through her hair.

She tsks. Atsumu’s a filthy liar; her hair’s absolutely not been dried.

It’s painfully unfair how healthy it is with the way she takes care of her hair. Which is to say, Atsumu does not. Hasn’t even heard of the concept. Kiyoomi hates her a little for it. Atsumu won the genetic lottery with naturally thick hair and she doesn’t even know it.

Kiyoomi doesn’t realize when Atsumu wraps a hand around her waist until she squeezes gently. It’s an Atsumu-thing: fiddling with whatever’s in her hands. Kiyoomi wonders for a moment if there’s anyone else in the fucking world whose lap she could sit so comfortably in.

“Fine,” she sighs.

If Kiyoomi can’t go her whole life closing her eyes to everything she doesn’t like, she can at least hold Atsumu’s hand about it. Acquiescing isn’t so hard if she’s not alone.

“Really?” Atsumu perks up, light dancing in her eyes. Kiyoomi’s just a girl- how could she ever not feel like she’s at the top of the world with Atsumu looking at her like this?

Kiyoomi’s still Kiyoomi though, for better and for worse. She’s not throwing herself into the deep end without an out. “I’m not staying the whole time- you can if you want but I’m going to leave early.”

Atsumu’s got mischief in her eyes and Kiyoomi already know she’s already worked her way under the lines she just drew. “Then let’s go to Samu’s for lunch today.”

What.

Atsumu must read the disgust-slash-confusion off her face because she immediately goes to sell her point. “If ya don’t wanna come to dinner with everyone, we can just crash at her store. What’s she gonna do? Kick two payin’ customers out?

Kiyoomi wants to dig her nails under Atsumu’s skin and rip the smirk off her face. She’s been got and knowing her, Atsumu’s only gonna keep pushing.

They’re too similar for her to not.

She'd rather deal with Osamu without being in front of the rest of Atsumu's family though so Kiyoomi snorts, “You’re on being-a-menace duty.”

“That’s just my everyday babe,” Atsumu winks horribly. She looks ridiculous and Kiyoomi will never tell her that. She keeps her girlfriend’s goofiness close to her heart. It might be an open secret between their friends, but she’s the one who gets to see it everyday.

There’s only threads of hope that today won’t be a shitshow of petty and snide comments between her and Osamu but at least Atsumu can step in before they can go too far. That’s a hope Kiyoomi can count on at the very least.

“Alright, let’s go now.” Kiyoomi abandons her comfortable seat in favour of looting through Atsumu’s clothes for one of her hoodies.

Atsumu groans and flops onto her back dramatically. “Now?”

“Yes now. I don’t want to deal with the lunch rush that’ll come later. Get your lazy ass up.”

“Yer cruel so Omi-Omi,” Atsumu whines as she gets up anyways.

“Are you finally realizing?” Kiyoomi teases. Honestly they’re both horrible. It’s half of why they work.

Atsumu just laughs in her face.

Kiyoomi isn’t suddenly optimistic or anything, but she isn’t dreading going to Onigiri Miya’s as much. She can be mature about this.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

A Shade of Gray: Part One

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.2k

Summary: Your abilities are put to the test when you have to gather evidence based on what your psyche is telling you. Hotch believes in you, and that’s the only thing that matters. 

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated

x

"To lose a child is to lose a piece of yourself." - Dr. Burton Grebin

A seven-year-old boy is missing, and it's up to your team to find him before the worst happens. Cherry Hill, New Jersey used to be a quiet suburb to live in, but when news broke out about this little boy, it sent everyone into a panic. Hannah lives in Cherry Hill, but before you go getting her hopes up that you can see her, you're going to focus on the case and see how much time you have afterward.

There are reporters up the Murphy family's ass. They just lost their little boy, the least anyone can do is give them time to grieve. That's why you're here, you can shoulder the burden that is the press. Sarah and Dan Murphy lost their little boy, Kyle, this morning. They have another son, Danny, who you can imagine is suffering just as much.

The reason why you got here so quickly is that two other little boys were taken and killed within twenty-four hours. The worst-case scenario is that there is a pedophile murderer on the loose. The best-case scenario is Kyle got lost somewhere and is fine.

"What time was he taken?" Derek asks.

"Between midnight and 6 AM."

"Is the MO the same as the other two?"

"Yeah. All of them were abducted in their beds in the middle of the night. The first two were found strangled with blunt force head traumas and dumped in the Wharton State Forest."

You arrive at the Murphy house and see a news reporter talking to the camera with the Murphy family behind her.

"We're just getting word that an amber alert for the tri-state area has been issued. The Cherry Hill Police Department is about to hold a press conference."

Sarah and Dan are in tears for their lost son, but Danny looks bored. He doesn't have any expression on his face that he is grieving, and if he does, then it's forced. Something isn't right. Detective Bill Lancaster steps to the podium they set up so he can talk to the press directly.

"Thank you all for coming this morning. It's important we get this information out to the public as soon as possible. The parents of the missing boy are gonna make a statement. I would ask you to please hold your questions until the end, and I'll answer them directly."

Sarah steps to the podium with her husband and composes herself before speaking.

"My name is Sarah Murphy, and I'm Kyle's mom. This is Kyle's father Dan and his older brother, Danny. My little boy just turned seven this year. He's in... He's in the second grade. Oh, god. I can't. I'm sorry," she cries.

Even from where you are behind the news vans and the crowd forming to watch, you can feel waves of guilt come from the parents. Why would they feel guilty? Sure, it's a natural response when a child is taken, but this guilt is too strong to be considered normal.

What are they hiding?

"Kyle is shy and quiet," Bill takes over for the parents, "but ever since he joined the soccer team, he's really come out of his shell. He's more outgoing. He even scored his first goal. Everyone is so proud of him. Kyle loves to read. He gets that from his dad. His favorite books are about dinosaurs and he knows all of their names."

"I'm glad they took our advice and started the press conference," Emily says.

"Yeah, but it would be nice if there weren't so many people walking all over the crime scene."

"He's allergic to peanuts," Bill continues. "He loves to snack all the time. Whatever happened last night, whoever took Kyle, the Murphys want you to know it's okay. Thank you for finding their little boy. They know it was a mistake. They just want their son back. They just want Kyle back safe and sound."

"What's the theory on what happened to Kyle Murphy?" one of the reporters asks.

"We're just hoping that he's lost, that whoever finds him will bring him back home soon."

"This case is similar to two other cases in Cherry Hill. Those boys were abducted and found in the woods. Do you really don't think there's a connection?"

"We're not ruling that out. We'll keep the public informed of any leads. If you have any further questions, you can contact me at the station. I'm Detective Bill Lancaster. Thank you for coming."

He concludes the press conference and immediately heads over to your team who are waiting patiently off to the side. Only you, Rossi, and Derek are here while the rest set up at the station.

"You guys arrived quickly."

"We don't have a lot of time. Can you show us around?"

"You should have taken this off-property," Rossi advises.

"The truth is, I wanted to do this down at the station. Danny and Sarah didn't want to leave the house, in case Kyle comes back. I'm known as Uncle Bill. We're friends and neighbors. Dan and I grew up around here."

"Your involvement in this case could be a conflict of interest," you say.

"I appreciate your concern, but I'm not gonna stand around while Kyle's still out there. I know the other two cases. I didn't want to admit this to the press, but there is no doubt in my mind that Kyle's the third victim."

It's almost as if Bill wants you to believe this is true. Like he's forcing his views onto you instead of letting you come to your own conclusions.

"You know what we're looking at. Ninety-nine percent of abducted children are killed within the first twenty-four hours."

"I know. I'm gonna go check on them."

Bill leaves and you narrow your eyes in suspicion.

"We saw the pictures of the first two victims. We know what this guy does to little boys. Kyle might be the one percent that makes it. It would take a miracle."

"For his sake, let's hope we get one."

You three walk inside the Murphy home that is covered head to toe in spiritual and aura energy. Sarah, Dan, and Danny are sitting in the living room to comfort each other, but the guilt is stronger now that you're near them. Danny still has the same bored expression on his face, but it looks like he's pretending to care about what's happening. You don't know this family well enough to make this assumption, so you're going to go about this as an FBI agent instead of a psychic.

"Hi, I'm Agent Y/N. May I ask you some questions?"

"Sure."

"Thank you for speaking with me. I cannot stress enough how much time is of the essence here. Abductions from the home are rare, and that allows us to narrow down the suspect pool even more."

"What makes them unusual?" Dan asks.

There is a beat of sweat on his forehead that you notice. It's not uncommon for parents to be stressed or nervous in situations like these, but he seems worried; not for his son but for himself. What the hell is going on here?

"Abductions typically are about timing and opportunity like when a child walks home alone or gets separated at a shopping center, that sort of situation. This is a sophisticated high-risk crime. Whoever did this has good social skills. They're highly functioning and they have a steady job. He wouldn't look out of place to you, and you wouldn't be alarmed if your children were talking to him. So, he may be wearing a uniform like a deliveryman or a mail carrier. Have you noticed anyone hanging around the neighborhood and talking with children?"

"Nothing comes to mind."

"No," Sarah says. "Oh, I don't know."

"Mrs. Murphy? Do you need to take a break?"

"I think I need to--I need to lie down. I'm so sorry," she whispers and leaves.

"Are you able to continue?" you ask Dan.

"Yes."

Dan is more composed than his wife is, but they wouldn't feel guilty about anything unless something happened to their son and they know about it. She passes under the archway separating the living room from the main hallway, and when she walks upstairs, you see Kyle standing at the foot of it. He looks over at you and just stands there with an sad expression on his face.

Your heart breaks knowing he's dead.

This place is covered with the energies of the parents and both sons, but that shouldn't concern you in the way that it is. This is their home, they're going to have their energies here. The thing that concerns you is how dark Danny's energy is. He's a kid so the energy is yellow, but it's not as bright as other kids. He's very angry and you're not sure why.

"Danny, you and Kyle always walk to and from the bus stop together, right?"

"Yeah."

"Have any strangers tried to talk to you or your brother recently?"

"The bus driver asks us questions sometimes. I don't know," he shrugs.

"What time of day do the boys usually play outside?" you ask Dan.

"Well, they both have practice after school. Lately, Kyle's been into video games and Danny loves building model airplanes."

"That actually tells us a lot. I'm going to need you to make a list of everyone who's been in or around your home in the past six months. Whoever took Kyle has probably been in this house before. He watched the family routine, he knew exactly where everyone slept, and he got Kyle out without anyone seeing or hearing anything."

You look over at Danny to see him crying but it looks and feels forced. You feel Danny trying so hard to act like he's sad when you know he isn't. He's only pretending to keep up some act. Why, you don't know yet.

"Daddy, can I go play now?"

"You can go to the family room. I'll be the soon." Danny is too eager to get up and start playing. "He doesn't really understand what's going on."

"Yeah, that's probably for the best. Mr. Murphy, we are going to do everything we can to find Kyle."

"Thank you," he whispers.

It's hard to do your job when there are people not being honest about what's going on. Something doesn't make sense here.

After the first two abductions, Cherry Hill PD compiled a list of registered sex offenders in Camden County. There are four hundred and thirty-nine offenders within a thirty-mile radius of where the boys were taken. They have been knocking on doors and conducting interviews, and haven't been able to come up with anything.

They should have called the FBI earlier because there are a lot of these men you can eliminate right away. Anyone who is new to the area is automatically eliminated because the unsub knows the neighborhood. Anyone who targets females, whose preferential age is over seven, whoever has a specific type of child, and whose victims have only brown and blond hair is disqualified as well.

The thing that doesn't make sense to you is that you find no spiritual trace of anyone besides the Murphy family inside the house. The first two victims were taken from their beds, and if the same thing happened to Kyle, you'd see the unsub's energy.

You leave Dan to create that list of suspects while you join Rossi's side who is in Kyle's room with Bill. You don't want to interrupt them so you opt to get a read on the Detective.

"I cleared our techs out of here. What is it you're looking for?"

"Certain behavior. What happened here will give us a clue about the unsub. Kyle's sheet and blanket were pulled apart and off the bed, toys were stepped on and kicked out of the way, and there was a struggle. That's consistent with the first two abductions. The boys woke up and fought, but this looks a bit more chaotic than the others. When we're finished, have the techs look for any trace of blood or fibers. He may have gagged Kyle."

"In the other two cases, the boys were struck on the head. What if he used the weapon to scare them?" Bill stutters.

Just like that, suspicion arises. The Detective is acting like anyone is going to find out the secret he's been keeping. He keeps looking around the room to make sure everything checks out like he's lying about something. He feels guilty but not as much as Dan and certainly not Sarag.

"He could have. He would have had to act quickly in order to keep Kyle quiet."

"Detective! You need to see this!" someone calls from down below.

"Excuse me."

Bill leaves you and Rossi alone, and once he is out of earshot, Rossi turns to you.

"What theory do you have cooking in that magical brain of yours?"

"The first thing I noticed is how much Sarah and Dan feel guilty; guiltier than how they should be feeling. Their son is pretending to be sad when really, he feels nothing. His energy is dark yellow. There is so much anger in that boy. When he was crying earlier, it felt forced. Bill also feels guilty but not nearly as guilty as the parents."

"Guilty about what?"

"Exactly. That's not all. I saw Kyle downstairs as a spirit. He died, and not that long ago."

"Where are you going with this?"

"This is only a theory, Rossi, but based solely on what I see and feel, I think Danny killed his brother. His parents along with Bill either know about it or were involved, so I don't think it's best if we divulge this theory to him until we know more. I promised Hotch I'd be better at collecting evidence to back up my theories, so that's what I'm gonna do."

"You have my full support. Let me know if you need anything."

"Thank you," you smile.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[suekreandtheidiots]

Abby in distress

Just putting the premise of the Abby arc here, so the few peeps who follow me have an idea what I'm talking about whenever I'm referring to these two in the future lol.

As I mentioned before, the overzealous Abigail Shaw and the infamous Lowell Foster will grow closer in the forseeable future!

(I'm still figuring out how I want to draw Abby, these are really just mood scribbles... and one to establish their height difference. 😂)

Also, I pretty much just started writing and figuring out this particular arc, so I can't tell everything just yet… and, to be quite honest, I don't really want to. At least not yet, as there are many mental images that I'd actually like to draw or write about than just randomly spill. 😅 I hope I can get to that!

Their story starts when Kip goes on his little after-school-trip to Australia, which will most likely happen some time in early 2027!

Kip will only be gone for a few months, maybe half a year or so, but despite keeping close contact to him ( see here 😂), it's a lot for his poor dad to handle! Lowell has been a single dad for the past fifteen-ish years at that point, Kip has been his priority for such a long time (even if it didn't always look that way). Seeing his own kid - the kid he never wanted when he was still so young! - grow up and explore the world; realising that he no longer actually needs him to survive… it's gonna fill Lowell with both pride and agony at the same time. It's something he has never experienced before. Let's face it, that poor man is gonna feel lost and lonely. For real. He won't tell anyone, but it's true, it'll move him deeply.

Abby Shaw won't miss Kip as much but to tell the truth - she has more pressing matters on her plate than thinking about her former students. The school's Music-and-Drama club has a musical contest (with a cash prize!) coming up, which wouldn't be a problem all by itself. What makes it a little tricky is that the school's old music teacher, Mister Guthrie, unexpectedly (more or less) passes away, only days into the preparations and rehearsal phase.

Well… oops.

That contest could bring in some good money. Even if it doesn't - it's a tradition everyone loves and appreciates, always good for lifting up the school's community spirit. Therefore, the club dropping out of the contest is not really an option. The school is already quite understaffed at the time, though, so there isn't really anyone who is willing to take the lead.

Abby, being the dutiful and devoted teacher she is, eventually jumps in, because "someone has to do it?!". It's a lot on top of her already busy schedule, she knows, but, well, how hard can it be? The club's members are all talented kids and very passionate about their thing, after all… all she'll have to do is supervise, probably?

Unfortunately, that's quite far from the truth.

Even the most talented kids need guidance and someone to motivate and push them. Abigail Shaw has many good traits and talents. Musical skill isn't among them. 💀 The task is too big for her as a completely inexperienced person in artistic matters, that'll become clear soon enough. Finding a new music teacher goes so much slower than expected, too, and time is running out.

Abby knows someone who would be perfect to help out. She hates the thought of even just asking him, she really does. With every fibre of her being.

However, she's desperate.

It's not like she never shared a single civil moment with Lowell Foster in the recent past. The day his son left school, she had a short and surprisingly nice talk with him; it wasn't hard to tell that he was incredibly proud of Kip, and also quite wistful about the prospect of letting him go to explore the other side of the world.

Still. They are so far from being on actually friendly terms. That man is a pest, that's just how it is. Sharing a few quick and friendly words on a graduation day is one thing (especially with the prospect of never having to see either of the Fosters again 😂). Spending several afternoons a week with him would be another.

Abby isn't crazy about the thought, not at all, and it will hurt to ask. It's for the kids, though. She has to take any option into consideration, everything else just wouldn't be right.

Setting that godawful man on the poor kids… oof. Well. We'll worry about that later. Abby thinks to herself as she calls the number with the very prominent numerical sequence somewhere in the middle - "666". There is an actual "666" in there. Figures.

(It kinda goes like this. 🤣)

(Yes, Lowell is actually four.)

Lowell won't be thrilled either. There are so many things in life he'd rather do than tutor a bunch of teenagers who may think they're musically gifted (let's face it, most of them aren't). Drink windscreen washer fluid, for example. Get a 9-5 job. Move to England. Shoot himself in the leg.

It's something about the way Abigail Shaw talks to him, though. She means it. He's fully aware of the fact that she can't stand him. Yet she asks him for such a huge favour.

Things start happening in Lowell's head. That poor woman is actually desperate. Oh, for fuck's sake. When exactly has he become this soft?! Must've happened somewhere between Kip's very first heartfelt "Love you, dad!" and their last equally heartfelt hug at the airport about a month ago. No matter what had caused his pitiful condition, though, a part of him just doesn't want to leave the woman hanging. He's good at what he does, after all, she couldn't get a more capable help than him. And it's just for a few weeks. He'll live.

And… well. Kip is a gazillion miles away from him. Being quite honest with himself for a second - he's painfully bored in his free time and the job may distract him from his Kip woes, too. Maybe, but only maaayyyybe, having a few teenagers around again won't be too bad after all…?! (He doesn't really want a dog named Kip anyway.)

Before Lowell fully realises what he's doing, he agrees to help out.

Some silly doodles:

(He's so cute lol.)

Some mild spoilers:

It isn't hubris on Lowell's side - he IS good, he knows his stuff, he can offer a much different perspective than the old-established Mister Guthrie who has done pretty much the same procedure for decades. And he'll like doing this a lot more than he could ever anticipate. It'll be fun. He may take a bit to warm up to the situation, but he's going to like the students, and they are going to like him in return, even though (or because???) he isn't exactly what a decent school teacher should be. It doesn't come without quarrels, but it'll happen.

Abby will appreciate what Fozzy does, and she will gain a whole new respect for the field of art and music. She has never taken creative matters super seriously so far, but seeing this particular guy being actually good at what he does will be something else. She may not like him as a person, but she will like the way he's passionate about his craft. Lowell, in turn, will get some insight into Abby's job and what she faces day by day. Something he has never come to appreciate before. He'll see that she's a passionate person in her very own way… and that he may have judged her a bit too harshly in the past.

They really DO have banter potential, though. That won't stop, even when they warm up to each other. That's where the fun is.

On another note… it's really not my goal to make these two actually end up together. I don't think Lowell has what it takes to have a successful, healthy relationship. Can't be 100% sure, of course, but I doubt it. Doesn't mean he can't catch the feels, though, and that's what I love about this whole arc. Abby (still engaged to her guy David* at the time) actually catches a feel or two as well, despite not wanting to, soooo… how exactly do they handle that? I'm dying to find out, I love their dynamic so much and I'm looking forward to see it unfold!

(* I drew a very simplified David, too. 😂 I didn't mean to make him look like one of my ex-boyfriends but here we go, I guess. Ugh. 😂)

Aaaaannnnd that is where we are going to start that particular arc. So much for now, but now you guys have at least an idea of what's going on when I talk about the Abby arc. 😂

[cuddlyscribe]

(My phone said that it failed to send a request, just in case you did got my request)

Can I request part 3 of King x bad guy reader?

So there’s a PPV on male reader’s hometown, and King & reader are part of a 4 way match with the championship on the line. King noticed that reader has been a little distant and more quiet than usual.

Towards the end of the match, reader gets knocked out at ringside and King and the champion are battling out in the ring. King does his signature move and goes for the pin.

Male reader suddenly gets in the ring, grabs King, throws him out (through the ropes), and pins the champion. 1,2,3 he’s now the new champion.

King gets up to see male reader, holding the championship, crying tears of joy while the crowd starts chanting “you deserve it!” Especially given that this is the first ever championship he ever won.

How would King feel? Would he be mad? Would he be happy for him? That’s up to you.

thank you for sending your request again since I didn't see one from you before this one! I think this is a really unique idea, and there's a lot to unpack here 🤔 hope you enjoy!

[TEKKEN MASTERLIST]

To be honest, I feel like King would be off because his partner is off. He's so in tune with the people that he does tag matches with that if he senses something's wrong with their energy, he'll get the same sort of feeling.

Of course it's unlikely to be caused by the same thing, but he almost mirrors his partner's vibe.

But when he gets into the ring with him, King tries to shake it off. Maybe he just thought he saw that they were upset and misunderstood, or he's just way too tired from training for this PPV.

They both get in the ring and things are fine for awhile, until that dreaded moment.

Everyone in the audience figures it's kayfabe, that this was an intentional spot and was done to set up a feud between the two of you. After all, King sells it like a work. It's extremely convincing.

The crowd loves his partner, though, and for a moment he doesn't even really think about what just happened. He's just proud that everyone is finally cheering for him, just like King always knew he deserved.

Hell, he worked his ass off every chance he got. It was a win he deserved, even if the win was... Confusing to King.

I think that feeling of pride doesn't fully wear off for King. Even after he walks back towards the backstage area, he sees him holding the belt and it just feels right. King had been fighting for his recognition with the higher ups for months.

At first he does think that this was scripted, just that he wasn't in on it. He can't help but think it's kinda genius.

But then he sees his reaction change again into something more sullen and distant, and King knows that something's not right.

Of course he wants to be mad at him. King feels hurt and embarrassed by the action. And during a PPV that nearly a million people were likely watching? It's a low blow.

But King just wants to understand, really. So he walks up to him and asks straight up: "what happened out there?"

It doesn't come out mean or venomous, it's genuine and filled with concern. Everyone else might think King's partner is a bad guy, but King's gotten to know him too well to truly believe that hook, line and sinker anymore.

King simply wants an honest answer, even if it's not something he wants to hear. The man is quite literally one of the most honorable, and will at the very least respect a man that owns up to his actions no matter what the motive was.