#and never tries to understand. even if it is a persona who fully given up how long would it lasted without the fact of the whole deal

[mylimoji]

george is really a fascinating character to me, especially with his jealously over shannon and how their whole love story played out. the way he manipulated the situation to make the girl he likes to like him is fascinating. yeah, he is a straight up loser, it's very interesting how he 'damns his incel past' for making a goal of trying to get the 'tradwife' he sees in shannon. he's not very interested in her as a person and he never questions their class dynamic and he never questions himself why talking about nuclear family and kids make shannon uncomfortable. he feels like he 'grew up' from his childish boyish ways and while he says he 'got over his idealisation of the opposite sex' he still does that to shannon! he still expects her to be a proper traditional wife and a traditional woman without really asking her input! and we see shannon getting along with his ideas just because it makes george happy with his dream of him standing against his family for.... reproducing the same family values! god! him talking about having kids as an ADVENTURE and having as many kids as possible... ugh

[lilacxquartz]

TO SAVE A BROKEN SOUL • suguru geto cursed spirit fem!reader

ao3 • masterlist • mdni < previous chapter • next chapter >

summary: fighting with his own feelings and in an attempt to save face, suguru battles between letting you go or absorbing you into his collection.

warnings: disturbing thoughts, referenced non-con

Chapter 5: Concealment

An unwelcome visitor greeted Suguru right at his doorstep, seemingly a recent follower who was still new, barely settled into his growing found family. The man was still new to the ways of life here, but Suguru tended to accept sorcerers as they came, as long as they clearly understood his ideology.

Continuing to play into his relaxed and calm persona, he went ahead and gave the man the light of day. Given the slight look of disgust that the follower wore however, it was nightly likely that the man had likely seen something that he shouldn’t have.

Suguru couldn’t help it in that split second, his demeanour crumbling away at an instant.

He had to get rid of him before he talked.

At the verge of just barely maintaining his crumbling facade, he smiled at the man, telling him that he simply wanted to show him something special to really get him integrated into the family.

The guy, who he didn’t even know the name of yet properly, followed him with a sense of trust all the while Suguru’s face couldn’t help but darken. As he led him off into a lesser treaded area, he subtly channeled one of his curses, intending to silence the man before he had a chance to speak about something he shouldn’t.

Making up an excuse was easy enough for Suguru. The guy was new, came alone and didn’t quite know anybody too well just yet. He would cast him off as a traitor, when all he had done was quietly give a hint that he might have seen something he shouldn’t have.

Correct, Suguru didn’t even know if this guy knew.

(But a risk was a risk.)

It was only when he returned back to the canteen to reunite with Nanako that he realised that he hadn’t completely washed the blood of his hands just yet, but luckily, his daughters knew better than to ask questions about matters that didn’t concern them.

“Where’s your sister?” he asked Nanako, watching as she did something on her phone, wondering why Mimiko wasn’t with her. Those girls were always connected at each other's side like glue.

“Getting breakfast,” she casually replied, “they made pancakes today.”

“Pancakes, huh?” Suguru spoke, his gaze softening at long last. The air outside was cold, his wound still feeling sensitive from where you bit him. Luckily his robes covered the evidence, but the pain was still quite strong.

“Yeah,” she nodded.

“And why aren’t you there, getting pancakes with her?” he asked in an endearing tone.

“I had something else, but I gave her my portion,” she said before lowering her hand, finally pulling the phone away from her face, “…when can we come home?”

Suguru tilted his head off to the side, understanding fully well why they both wanted to come back. It didn’t matter how comfortable the other house was; it didn’t feel right to be separated. This sort of thought only seemed to fuel his conflicting thoughts further, daring him to think about something that he didn’t even want to entertain.

“Soon,” he assured, albeit in an unconvincing tone. He smiled at her, walking her back to the dining area and sitting himself down next to Mimiko who looked a little too happy about all of those pancakes.

He pulled up a plate of something different and tried to distract himself, despite his mind still going crazy with ideas. He wondered if he should just utilise you like the rest of the spirits and maybe absorb you, because then you couldn’t stir trouble from just existing.

He didn’t want to release you back outside though, even though that had been on his mind too. There was something uncomfortable about the thought of you just freely roaming the forest, doing who knows what and where. Instead, he wanted to contain you—to keep you—to never let you go and yet he couldn’t do either, at least not in a way that worked in both of your favours.

Returning back to the thought prior, he however felt his stomach churn at the thought of exorcising you. He didn’t like that idea at all and could barely imagine it; the idea of not only killing you, but packing your soul into a compressed form and then swallowing the core of your very essence.

It disgusted him.

“I’ll be… back later,” he said, looking visibly troubled. Suguru tried to hide such feelings away from the watching eyes of everyone, ruffling the girls hair with a weak smile. “I’ll be back later and then I’ll do something nice with you tomorrow. I promise.”

The sisters nodded, full from their plates and watched him leave in silence as his mind continued to churn, as his instincts continued to pull and prod at him, challenging him, maybe even begging—daring him—to take you in, to possess you in the most brutal form.

Maybe absorption was the answer.

Oh, how he longed to have you in such a forbidden way.

In a way that challenged the grounds of your very existence.

In a way you couldn’t even begin to understand.

~~~

Yet, just as he committed himself to the very thought, his demeanour faltered from the very second he locked eyes with you. That’s when he found himself staring at something that resembled a human again and all of a sudden, he found himself feeling lost again.

Stopping himself from doing anything he was sure to regret, he balled his hands into fists that turned almost ached from such strained anger—how dare you look so afraid, so vulnerable—so much like somebody that he could possibly even love(?).

Not that much time had passed at all and yet it felt like something so painfully right.

Why did it have to be you though?

Someone who didn’t even reciprocate a single thing back? Someone who didn’t even cry after he hurt them? You were barely human and yet…

“Stop making this… more difficult than it has to be,” he gritted through his teeth, doing his best to avoid your gaze.

You however wanted to live too, though. That’s why you were reacting the way that you did. Regardless of whatever lifeform you were, self preservation and instinct would always attempt to override any sort of logic.

And just as he tried to talk himself into committing to the part yet again, he once again stopped. He wasn’t able to do it at all, unable to kill you because of a lust that swarmed over him like a disease; eating away at his mind as he lost himself in wanting you, craving you, in—

…Wait, what was he doing?

He pulled back slightly, casting his gaze over your confined form. Your front side was facing the wall with your clothes piling up to rest just above your hips again. His cock was hard, driven into your sex, realising that he was already right in the process of taking something from you yet again.

Suguru gritted his teeth as he bruised his hips against your ass, his skin slapping what was effectively stone as he succumbed to an almost otherworldly desire. He hated himself for doing this, for wanting to hurt you, for wanting to even kill you—but he also hated you all the same—for letting him go that far, this far, for not even trying to stop him.

Something wet dripped over your neck, droplets of something that smelled like salt rolling down your body. Tears? Hushed whispers could be heard as grunted cries soon followed—feverish growls escaping his lips as he wept into you—the malleable clay that he sought to ruin, that he longed to redesign now manifested as a deep sadness as he cried into your skin, painting you with his own regret.

Suguru finished into you yet another time, shuddering as he thrust another powerful rut yet again.

He melted against you, still crying into your neck.

If cursed spirits were a mirror to human negativity, then what could that have possibly made you with him and him with you…?

Pulling himself out with bloodshot red eyes still blurring his vision, he presented you with his other arm, pressing it against your lips and almost demanding that you feed on him—silently begging for you to punish him for having such thoughts—for almost doing the unthinkable, because what was he doing, when he sought to obliterate you from an existence you didn’t ask to be born into?

Suguru wept as you gave in again, shuddering as he let you suckle on his wounded flesh, like scarlet ink dampening an organic canvas, marble mixing with paper; two works of art from different mediums that collided against each other through divine will.

His blood continued to spill as you fed, staining the once white bed into vivid red, soon settling maroon.

Tears spilled from his eyes again without a single stop as his body quietly settled into yours, his demeanour seeming a little softer this time.

Suguru stared at you as you finished up and pulled his arm away from you, seeming kinder and almost even… broken.

Now all that was left was to figure out what to actually do, because nothing seemed to make sense anymore.

~~~

this is part 2 of lilac’s bite sized jjk yandere nightmares

[cherphadetseuk]

So I've been thinking about the latest Only Friends Episode. Yes, I'm watching it too, I just never talked about it in text form.

Anyway, I still haven't processed this episode because my heart is breaking in every episode when I see Sand's face. And that scene in the end was the icing on the cake and idk how to recover. When is it Sand happy hours, seriously. Every episode he gets dragged along and then pushed aside (sometimes literally *coughepisode6cough*).

Anyway, I've just been thinking about the preview of the next episode. Drama aside with the drugs and whatever happened to Mew there but I was thinking about the choice of dress up for that fancy dress party thing they attend.

First of all Mew and Ray. Mew with that shirt is clearly dressed up as Harley Quinn and after looking at the SandRay scene, Ray's outfit indicates the Joker if I'm correct. So they go as Joker and Harley, which in itself is already a doomed relationship. However, I don't know if the roles should have been reversed. Not because Mew is in his villain era (not that Harley isn't in theory also in a villain era at all times) but because Harley is the one who's always hung up by the Joker and follows him around at all times and tries to make him like her. So in theory Ray should have been Harley. But that's beside the point. What I was thinking is the choice. They chose a doomed relationship of two very f**ked up characters which kinda represents their current situation. Arguably I can understand Ray being the Joker given the origin story and his mental state. Mew is Harley Quinn because she isn't actually a villain but shit drove her the way she is and she's just gone crazy and with Mew starting his villain arc I feel like that fits perfectly.

Now Sand. As I realised after a second glance, and also not shocking, he's dressed as Freddie Mercury who we all know is a very troubled character if you know his life story. Freddie Mercury is a troubled soul who puts up this persona on stage for a little bit, to forget about the troubles in his life. Lady Gaga is the same kind of troubled character and so are a lot of musicians. Sand is also a musician with inner struggles who is a very different and happy person on stage. He smiles on stage and is genuinely carefree when he performs. As soon as he leaves the stage the troubles await. The only other times he smiles is when he's with his mum (who I absolutely ADORE) and his happy moments with Ray (before he gets kicked around and dragged through the mud). The fact that in the preview he is about to kiss another Freddie Mercury dress-up kinda plays on the "You should love yourself" line he said to Ray. I don't know if Sand actually fully loves himself. He doesn't indicate that he doesn't but I don't think he hates himself or the way he is. He is just broken hearted. We don't know all of his life story. We know his dad is not around but, as we found out in this episode as well, he doesn't care about that. His mum is nice and supportive and he has a dream to travel and see all the musicians and be a musician. He has been the most put together character so far in this show (aside of his multiple heartbreaks over Ray and his feud with Top over their ex (which I'm still curious about) and Boston's general assery).

I just find it interesting when you look at the characters they chose to dress up as and how it kinda correlates with their own person. I'm curious what the others are dressed up. I know Top is there but I forgot what he was wearing, if he was even at the party to begin with or just went there later because of drama.

I also find it interesting how Sand saw MewRay but didn't act on it (or at least I think he didn't because we don't know the aftereffect of that but given that he tells Ray he's no rebound and the multiple times he said that he didn't care...which he's lying about but that's why I said he's putting up that persona) but as soon as Sand even lays eyes on someone else (cue to next episodes preview) he gets all possessive and intervenes right away. Which, Ray, baby, I love you, but you're not very subtle about your crush on Sand. Also, the fact that he says, "I can love as many people as I want", yes, you can but don't string them all along. At least before you didn't act on your Mew crush but now you do while also stringing Sand along for your convenience on him being always there for you. They both have feelings, you can't just be selfish and think you can just have them both when you want it and not have one of them (or both) hurt in the process. Again, I love you but I wanna slap some sense into your brain so badly.

I don't know what the point was of this post but ah well.

[batbeato]

persona 5 tactica update: at the final dungeon (I'd presume) with angel boi.

i hate it here.

first of all, the design of the final dungeon is... interesting. I understand what they're going for - the characters even explicitly said it: that it's meant to be boring and ugly and same-y because that's what stagnancy is like - but it doesn't change that it... is boring and ugly and same-y in a very unappealing way.

in the same way, I understand what they're going for with the boss gauntlet, but I also... dislike it. I don't think just reskinning the bosses to be silver like this is goddamn inverse-xibalba (...I'm so sorry for comparing this place to xibalba persona 2 I love you xibalba and your metal recreations of figures of trauma) is that interesting. I would have really liked it if they made new (can still be monochrome/silver!) twisted/distorted designs of the previous bosses, or at least modified the designs slightly more, to really hammer home that these are just recreations Salmael made without the glimmer-glammer-oomph-whatever of Toshiro's memories.

in addition. having Toshiro join the party was really... interesting. the reveal that Elle was actually his Persona was very ??? and even the game talks about how it's such a special unique case. so. don't think I even need to go there. they really put themselves in a corner idk. it also doesn't make a ton of sense to me that you can still use Elle as an individual unit but also have Toshiro in the party using her as a Persona, but. okay.

Toshiro had a mask for .5 seconds that he ripped off during his Persona awakening and then just never got a Phantom Thief outfit of any kind. anything to spice his design up. even just a goddamn PHANTOM THIEF CODENAME. NOPE!! It honestly feels like an act of laziness or oversight, since this is one of the things the game didn't even bother to explain! unlike how kindly it tried to explain Elle and the Kingdoms.

the reveal, btw, that the Kingdoms were just... made by Salmael to break Toshiro's spirit is something. as is that Salmael is THIS obsessed with one man. even the man that's going to be prime minister. seriously. why not bother some billionaire with tons of financial power who could easily end world hu - nvm I'm giving it too much credit. gotta dial it back. anyway.

I don't mind Salmael as a concept. at this point we are all used to the obligatory world-ending god final boss in Persona. it's a requirement for any given Persona game. I do mind how Salmael gets to be responsible for Everything and how his existence gets to wave away any more interesting worldbuilding about Kingdoms. I was really hoping we'd get something about, idk, remnants of Shido's faction doing experiments on Shido's successor or some shit. nope. To be fair maybe I will get that. I haven't fully cleared the game yet. But thus far, nope.

Another thing that interests me is just how much... better a fit for this game's protagonist/focus Eri seems to be. she wants to be a journalist - super fitting for the PTs. she has a strong sense of justice. she got screwed over in the past and framed for a crime she didn't commit (like Joker!). she's so cool. why is Elle just here to be Toshiro's pet Eri. why is Toshiro the main guy and not her cute traumatized boyfriend she has to save.

Oh, and another thing! So many interesting things this game gives me to think about! Why is Toshiro's Persona of the opposite gender to him...? I think that this is like, a single case of this occurring, or else just generally rare since I don't remember any instances (outside the wildcard protags taking on female Personas). Personally I think it's funny to imagine that Toshiro is trans or some flavor of genderqueer and hasn't realized it yet. I know it's probably meant to be some romantic BS but in my dreams... Idk maybe Toshiro's gay and Toshiro's 'attraction' to Elle/Eri is because Toshiro wants to BE her. In my dreams.

Since I've been working my way backwards, it seems: Toshiro's Shadow. Oh, Toshiro's Shadow. He doesn't make any sense. He doesn't have any internal logic. He expresses "ohhhh we got Eri hurt we're so baddddd" and then five seconds later "ohhh Eri is so badddd with her rebellious ideaalssss". The game is like "oh yeah this is Toshiro's Shadow totes for reals" and I'm sitting here going "no this is clearly some shit evil god-angel bitch made up to fuck with Toshiro. this is nothing like anything Toshiro has ever said ever". It sucks. Reminds me of Persona 4, in a bad way.

Usually I try to put some positives in these posts to not be too negative towards the game. It's a little difficult this time since I am now FORCED to have Toshiro in my party even if I would rather leave his ass to rot. I dislike having him there and would very much like to continue my fun routine of rotating party members around to get to play with everyone. He disrupts this by never going tf away. Game didn't even force me to use ELLE most of the time and yet now I always have to use Toshiro. Man...

Well. I did finally change the game's difficulty from Normal to Hard. I thought I wasn't that good at strategy games, so it might just be that the game's difficulty curve isn't quite right. That, or I'm actually good at the game. Not sure which. Anyway the seratonin hit of making giant-ass All Out Attack triangles to hit ten million enemies with at once? Addictive. Beautiful. Best part of this game.

[ellana-ravenwood]

The art of taking care of the woman you love - Bruce Wayne x Fem!Reader

Synopsis : You’ve always had really bad period pains. You learned to live with it, and to take care of yourself during those times...Up until a certain Bruce Wayne came into your life, and made it his mission to be there for you. 

For @meghan-maria​, who gotta be the sweetest out there :), and for anyone who ever had really bad period pains. I hope you will like it : 

TW : periods. It’s obvious given the theme, but I guess we never know and better safe than sorry. 

My master list : @ella-ravenwood-archives​

_________________________________________________

The First time it happened

It’s the fact you cancelled your planned date with him without an explanation that makes him worry. 

“Sorry, can’t make it tonight. Will see you tomorrow !” 

You never did that before, and you two were so busy neither of you would miss a date really. Not unless something bad or important happened. But then in that case, you would’ve told him, no ?

It made him so anxious. And he was starting to clearly overthink things. 

Were you maybe...having second thoughts ? 

You and Bruce made your relationship official not long ago, was the media’s pressure becoming too much ? You told him you’d be fine, but after a few months experiencing the plague that were paparazzi and invasive questions, did you change your mind ? 

Or maybe it was because of the whole Batman thing ? You discovered that a while ago, even before making your relationship official so...why would you change your mind about it now ? 

Maybe he came home with too many cuts and bruises. Maybe you were freaking out ? He would understand if you did. 

Or...There was a last option that came to his mind : he upset you somehow. 

It was entirely possible, sometimes he could get stuck in his own mind, and be a jerk without even truly realizing it. He knew that fact very well about himself. It was often the reason of how he ruined multiple relationships, friends or more. 

The way he sometimes just got too focused on his vigilante work. Too obsessed. And could be stuck in a “dark mode” like you’d say...

But, he also knew that you never took any of his shit. You would’ve told him if something was really the matter, right ? 

Right ?!

Should he ask Alfred if he noticed anything ? His butler, and surrogate father, always saw things that escaped him. Especially when it came to feelings. 

This was a less known trait about Bruce, but ever since he was a child, he’s always been anxious. He was usually really good at hiding it, and his “Brucie Wayne” persona made everyone think it wasn’t possible for him to be anything else but confident and cocky but...it wasn’t true. 

Especially when it came to those he cared about. Especially when it came to you. 

You loved him despite his flaws, accepted him fully, without any conditions. It was the first time it ever happened, that he LET it happen...So, with this simple plan cancellation that was quite unlike you, he freaked out a bit.

In the middle of the day, he finally decided to call you. One. Two. Three tones before you picked up, and oh. Oh he felt so relieved to hear your little “hello ?” 

At the same time, his worry peaked. Was it just him, or did you sound really weak ?

“Hey honey, just wanted to check if you were alright ? Your text was a little short, and I know you don’t owe me any explanations of course, but I just wanted to check on you. You know. I-um...” 

Clumsy Brooshy. 

It made you smile, the way he could be a little flustered and lose his words, when with you. And it made you smile even wider that he chose to call you to make sure everything was ok. 

Sweet Broosh.

If you really didn’t want to talk to him, you wouldn’t have answered. And he wasn’t the kind of man to “insist”. He would’ve left a voice message, and leave you alone until you felt like calling him back. Bruce was most definitely not invasive...but at the same time, you’d never leave him worrying for no reasons, knowing how anxious he could be.

The truth was, your text was short because...You didn’t know how to tell him the reasons you needed to cancel your date. You didn’t want to embarrass him. Men didn’t really like to talk about what you currently were suffering from. 

You also were a little embarrassed yourself, because the entire society surrounding you made you feel wrong for having periods. 

Periods. 

One week a month. Every single months. That was a lot. 

Especially for you because...you always had complicated and difficult periods. Painful. Making you feel like you couldn’t move. The pain making it impossible for you to even get out of bed for long. 

You and Bruce had been dating for a while but...weren’t periods sort of a taboo subject ? You didn’t really know how to tell him. Especially since most men really seemed uncomfortable with the all thing. 

Of course, you should’ve know Bruce wasn’t “most men”. 

“Baby, are you there ?” 

“Um yes yes, sorry I was lost in thoughts.” 

“Are you ok ? You don’t sound right.” 

The most observant man in the World was obviously going to realize your voice sounded weaker than usually. The truth was, you were trying really hard to keep it steady as pain filled your being. 

“Yes yes, I’m ok, just feeling a bit...under the weather ?” 

“Is there anything I can do ? Is it a cold or something ? If so, I can bring you buy some chicken noodle soup, and pick up any meds you might need.” 

You almost cried at his words. 

Super busy bee Bruce Wayne was telling you he’d go out of his way to bring you what you needed...It made you crack a little. 

He was too damn nice. And your hormones were in shambles. It was very easy right now for you to cry. 

This. How willing he was to help you, how he immediately asked if he could...Was what made you say the truth without thinking twice : 

“I’m-I’m on my periods. They’re usually- They’re usually bad.” 

“Oh.” 

His response scared you a little bit. Were you right, was this maybe too much, too soon ? You were about to add something when he said : 

“I’ll be there in about an hour, if it’s ok with you ? If you prefer to be alone I can send-” 

“No ! No, I would love for you to come. I just-I wasn’t sure-I-”

“It’s ok. I understand. See you in a bit, love you.” 

“Love you, too.” 

On that note, Bruce hung up and leaves you with a wild beating heart. 

************

Exactly an hour later, your doorbell rings. 

With difficulties, you stand up, and go open the door. Surely enough, it’s your boyfriend. 

“Hi.” 

“Hi.” 

He has a bag in his hand, and you melt a little at the soft look and smile he gives you (even if there’s clear concerns behind it). You let him in, and go sit on the couch, even if just sitting up is already too much. 

“Do you want to lie down ?” 

“No. No I’m fine. You came all the way here, I can’t just stay in bed haha.” 

“Of course you can.” 

There’s a small silence for a little bit. Not awkward, you’re just not quite sure what to do. Should you go back to bed ? You really want to. And clearly, he understands. He always does. 

“Ok.” 

You stand, and wince because moving really makes everything worst. He approaches you, worried, but doesn’t dare to touch you and just follows you into your room. You get back in your comfy bed, under your comfy comforter. 

Another silence. Until he breaks it, taking something out of the bag he was carrying and saying : 

“So. I wasn’t sure you had a hot water bottle, I don’t ever recall seeing one in your apartment. So I bought one on the way just in case. Sorry if you don’t like the color, I can pick another one up later. It’s just, the woman on YouTube said that heat pads and hot water bottles were great.”

“The...woman on YouTube ?” 

“Yes, I watched a video on menstruations on the way here.” 

For a few seconds, you just stare at him, stunned. Never EVER in your entire life did you think you would hear THE Bruce Wayne say those words one day.

“A video on menstruations ?”

“Well, yes. Obviously, I don’t have periods. So I have no idea what it feels like. So I watched a video, to understand the process. And also so that you wouldn’t have to explain anything to me. You know what periods are, you don’t have to educate me on it. It’s not your job. And I definitely don’t want to sound patronizing about it. So I watched a video, and read a few articles. I won’t say I know how it feels, but I understand it more. Tell me if I ever step my bounds at any moment..” 

You can’t help but smile, even as your lower belly is on fire. Ah. Of course he would search things about it. Bruce was the kind of man to be thorough in his researches before tackling a problem. As Batman, he always tried to know everything there is to know about a situation before finding any solutions. But he was like that in real life too. 

And it particularly touched you that he did it so you wouldn’t have to explain...You had an ex, once, who sat down with you to talk about menstruations and it sort of drove you crazy. He thought it was nice, but your hormones were wreaking HAVOC and he was trying to explain to you how periods work and what it felt like ??? Give you advice about it and that it would be fine if you did what he said ?? Excuse me ??? As if you didn’t try everything already to feel less pain. And as if, as a woman, you didn’t know what it felt like or what it was exactly...

And there came Bruce. Reading up on it. And knowing he would never quite know how it feels. But educating himself so he won’t say something that could trigger you in any way. 

Sweet sweet man...If only people knew. 

He caressed your cheek softly, before whispering : 

“Then I-I watched something on endometriosis, because I read in a previous article it felt horrible. And you said your periods were bad, when we were on the phone. It sounds awful. Do you-...Have endometriosis ?” 

You shake your head weakly. Endometriosis was one of the reason why your periods were so painful and dreaded. And the worst ? It was a sickness many people said didn’t even exist. 

A woman being in pain during her periods ? Drama queen. Right ? It didn’t hurt that baaaaad. See, some women didn’t feel anything, just bled for a bit and moved on with their months. So obviously every women felt the same. Some were just being too sensitive...

Endometriosis was still, even to this day, a rather unknown illness and one that was rarely taken seriously. Some people just couldn’t even fathom you being in pain because of your periods, so much so that you couldn’t move. 

That you occasionally fainted, that you couldn’t eat much because it made you vomit, that you had awful migraines, stomach ache and back pain. That you couldn’t focus or sleep because of it. No. 

No those were just “made up symptoms” because you were “weak”...What awful things to say, right ? It was even worst to hear. Someone telling you this, as you felt like you were dying because of the pain, made you feel GUILTY to have painful periods. 

But it wasn’t your fault ? IT WASN’T YOUR FAULT ?! Nor were the moodswings, the cravings, the fatigue...

You hated going to the doctors when you were younger, because you knew he wouldn’t believe you when you said your periods hurt...

Anyway. Even without endometriosis, women who had bad periods pain were rarely taken seriously. Unless they met another woman who felt the same. Then they’d feel like they weren’t alone, or crazy. Like there were others who felt bad too. 

Every woman was different. And you unfortunately never met someone else with the same problems than you...

You felt very alone, for so long, and it was enhanced by your hormones going crazy and the pain being unbearable at times. 

And then, in come Bruce. 

Your Broosh. 

“Ok. Well. I brought you some of your favorite food. And um, I picked up some snacks if you want to do a movie marathon ? I brought all The Lord of the Rings extended editions. I got heat pads and a hot water bottle like I said. We can also just cuddle and relax if you prefer, I read that physical comfort was good ? Or, I can leave everything here, settle you in properly, and leave you alone. Just, tell me what you need my love ?” 

What did...you need ? 

Nobody ever asked you that. Nobody. Not even your parents. 

What did you need ? 

The answer came quickly. 

Him. You need him. His warmth. His large and soothing hands. His comforting presence. His calming voice. 

You knew you were in love with him since a while now. You exchanged “I love yous” already. But never did you feel as much love for him as right now, seeing him sitting in front of you, asking you what you needed...

A simple action. Simple words. And yet, it meant everything. 

“What do you need, honey ?” 

The concern in his eyes, and how he was very obviously ready to do whatever you wanted him to. 

It already made you feel better. The physical pain didn’t go down, that’s not how it worked unfortunately. But the emotional anguish ? Gone. 

Because he was there. 

Without even realizing it, you started crying. This was too much for your heart, too overwhelming. It meant the World, in that moment. 

It meant the world, to you and your overworked hormones. And so you cried. You cried hard. 

Without thinking twice, Bruce moved towards you. Taking his coat off and leaving it on the floor (Alfred would scold him about this for sure), he climbs in your bed and engulfs you in his arms. And it’s so warm and comforting, comfortable, too. 

“Just tell me what you need..”

He whispered to you, in his deep calming voice, his fingers running soothingly through your hair. 

“Could you just...keep holding me ?” 

He smiles softly, and says : 

“Of course.” 

He never, and never would, shy away from comforting you in any way. If you needed to have a good cry in his arms, so be it. And if you just needed him to be there, he would be there. 

You cuddled for a bit, the soothing circles he rubbed on your back doing wonders to make you feel relax. He brought some essential oils, that he massaged on your belly before filling the hot water bottle and laying it there...It relieved the pain a little bit, as you started a marathon of your favorite movies.

He took great care of you all day long, answering your every need even as you didn’t dare to ask...as if he could read your mind. You almost suspected he really could. You never felt so in phase with anyone before like you did with him.  

You had been together for less than a year. Although your anniversary was right around the corner. But him coming over as soon as he knew you weren’t feeling well. Him educating himself on what was it that hurt you...

If you weren’t sure yet that he was the one...You knew now. 

It sucks to be a woman, sometimes 

Bruce never knew periods could be that bad. Well, of course, he was a guy. And “periods” was never really a subject he talked about with anyone. He never really paid attention to it, like many men really. 

Until he saw you while on it. 

He knew you. He knew you were a tough lady. Once, you broke your leg while on a date with him. A silly accident really. Involving an ice rink, and an overzealous you chasing a hockey puck...Long story short, you ended up with a bad break. And you barely said a word about it. 

Bruce had his bones broken many times, he knew the pain of it. It was one of the pain he hated the most, along with burns. One he dreaded the most. And you took it like a champ. 

The break was bad enough you even needed surgery, yet you kept smiling at him (he might’ve feel bad that he let his over-competitive mind take over, “pushing” you to really want that puck...but of course, it was not his fault, after all, you too were very competitive, it was a pure accident). Saying you were fine, and that it’d be ok. 

He always hated seeing you hurt, it hurt him too. Inside. And scared the Hell out of him, to even think about you being harmed. So that day, he was rather frantic. You staying calm helped him, which made him feel a little guilty that even as you were the hurt one, you reassured him. 

But then you reminded him the roles were often reversed when he came back hurt from a rough vigilante night...You always had the right words to ease his mind. 

Anyway. That one time, after badly breaking your leg, you stayed rather calm and collected. But when you had your periods ? 

He never knew it could hurt so much. You couldn’t hide your pain, or pretend everything was alright. 

It was clearly a really bad moment to go through. 

He knew about the terrible migraines, being unable to sleep which made everything worst, feeling like your lower belly was being twisted from the inside, being sore all over for no reasons, not being able to move... 

Seeing you, was enough for him to know that periods sucked. 

“Being a woman is the worst, sometimes!” 

You’d often say during those moments, and he’d just soothe you, wishing he was in your place...

He hated when you were hurting. It hurt him too. Inside. 

And never. NEVER would he doubt that you were in real pain. Because unlike the doctors who kept telling you it was in your head, he knew you. He saw you get injured before. He knew you were tough. So for you to not be able to pretend everything was fine... 

You were hurting. Badly. And it was awful. But he believed you. He believed you and that’s all that mattered to you. 

Space

He also knew how to give you space when you needed it, though. 

He would be here if you needed him, bring you any food you craved, giving you relaxing massages, rubbing essential oils on your belly, filling up your hot water bottle etc etc. 

To be honest, his reaction to you being on your period is what made you sure he would be a great father one day...And you were right. 

Not a perfect father. 

But oh. Oh he cared. And wanted so much to do good...

And he knew. 

He knew exactly when he had to be there, and when he had to give you space. 

His hoodie

Bruce couldn’t always be with you when you had your periods, of course. 

He often took time off to be. But it was unrealistic to think he could be 24/7 with you the entire week. 

And sometimes, when he was away, you really suddenly craved his presence...So you came up with a trick. 

You stole his clothes. 

Particularly, hoodies he often wore when hanging out casually in the Manor. 

First of, they were very comfortable. And second, and most importantly : they smelled like him. 

They were warm, had his scent, and you could fall asleep feeling like he was almost there. 

Bruce couldn’t count the number of hoodies he lost to you....Then again, after a while, you’d ruthlessly abandon one because it stopped smelling like him, and would steal another one. 

Of course, he never minded. In fact, beyond the fact hoodies were nice and comfortable, he started to wear them a lot while in the house or during times he didn’t need to wear a suit (in every sense of the term), specifically because he knew you’d steal them when you felt lonely. 

It was cute. And it made his heart beat faster just thinking about it. 

Nobody. 

Nobody ever needed him that much before. Nobody ever loved him so much that sometimes him not being around was distressing. 

Of course, he felt the same. And the knowledge that you too, would sometimes feel lovesick when you were separated for too long...Filled his heart to the brim with the best feelings. 

For so long, he thought someone being dependable of him, and him being dependable of someone was bad...Oh, how he was wrong. 

It’s not because you open your heart to someone that you’ll get hurt, or that they’ll use it against you. You just have to find the right person... 

So. Yes. He will always cancel plans just to be with you. 

To bring you hot water bottles whenever you need. To cook your favorite food and snacks. To be there during all your mood swings, and endure even if you’re not the nicest to him (it’s not your fault). To watch your favorite movies. To let you sleep in and run your errands...

Periods sucked. 

He didn’t need to be a woman to know that. 

So he was there. Right there. For you. Taking care of you. And he would forever be there for that. 

But when he wasn’t ? 

Then he’d strategically leave one of his hoodie near the bed, so you could steal it, and comfort yourself with his smell...

Mood Swings 

“Brooooooooooosssssh...” 

You’re crying. You’re crying ! 

And it makes Bruce panic. You cry very rarely, so when you do it means something really bad must’ve happened or..or...

Bruce makes a quick calculation in his head and...Yup. 

It’s that time of the month again. 

Already ? Poor you.. 

This means that tomorrow, you’ll be a mess as everything will hurt too much, and today, the eve right before, you’re overly emotional. 

Hence you clinging to him right now, sobbing while repeating “I love you so much Bruce, I love you soooo much”. 

Hormones could really turn your head around. Right at the start of your period, before the pain, you had a rush of many emotions. 

You could either get very irritated for no reason (like “WHY IS THIS FLOOR ON THE FLOOR ?!”) or cry at everything. Right now, you were crying because you realized you loved your Broosh to death and you just had to tell him and you didn’t want him to go that night and...ah...

“It’s alright, it’s alright my love. You’re ok. We’re ok.” 

He lets you cry in his arms, of course. And already made the decision to not go out tonight, and stay with you. Kate could take over. He couldn’t leave knowing your emotions were doing quite a trick on you...

************

Your mood swings during your periods were particularly bad. 

You guessed it went in pairs with all the pain. Of course, not just one thing had to be exacerbated. Oh no. EVERYTHING bad about periods had to be turned to the max for you. Otherwise, were was the fun, right ? Sarcasm. 

You’d get irritated for no reasons. Then feel bad and cry for hours. To then feel ridiculously giddy once again for seemingly no reason...and then suddenly a burst of anxiety would attack you. 

It was a circus in your mind, and in your body. 

You couldn’t focus on anything. You couldn’t sleep properly. You felt awful all the time. Everything hurt. God...

And there he was. Bruce. Taking the brunt of your bad moods without saying a word. He knew it wasn’t your fault. That you didn’t mean it. That your hormones dictated your behavior against your own will. 

He knew. 

And he was there. 

He was there. 

“Every little moment is important, Son” - Thomas Wayne, to Bruce during the Flashpoint events.

“Bruce ? What are you doing here ? Thought you had important meetings ?”

“They weren’t that important.” 

“Really ? Lucious said-”

“Lucious is overdramatic. Anyway, Tim is taking care of it.” 

“...You’re letting our sixteen years old son taking care of the future of your company ?” 

“To be honest, he’s probably more competent about it than me.” 

“...That’s actually pretty accurate. But, why did you cancel things ?” 

“Because it’s this unpleasant time of the month, right ?”

“Oh. You don’t have to-” 

“I absolutely do.” 

Disappearing for a few seconds, your husbands comes back, wearing one of his favorite silk pajamas (and by “his” favorite, he really means : he knows you love them and think they look good on him, but won’t ever admit it because they’re “damn pajamas, it’s silly”...but he likes to please you). He then climbs in bed with you, and settles comfortable against you. 

“So, what’s the program today ?” 

This wasn’t unusual, for him to do this when you were on your periods. 

In fact, it was almost a ritual. Delegating his works to others, so he could take care of you. 

Ever since that first time, all those years ago, things didn’t change much. He would ask you what you need, you’d tell him, and he would do it happily. 

He knew it was a tough moment for you, physically, hormonally, mentally...Having your periods sucked. So he was there. Right there. 

The words his father...Well, not really his father. The “Thomas Wayne” of another dimension. What his father would’ve become if he died that fateful night, instead of his parents. Regardless, to him, it was his father. 

The father that never saw him grow up and became the man he was now...Yet who had important words for him. 

“Take advantage of every little moments, you never know when it’ll end.” 

Those words stuck with him. Because it was true. It only took a few seconds in an alleyway for his whole world to turn upside down...Why would it take any less for it to completely change now too ? 

What if something happened to you ? And he didn’t spend enough time by your side ? Or to his kids ? 

There was a time, being Batman was everything to Bruce. Because he was angry, lost, and devastated. 

But over the years...Over the years this role stayed important. But he expended his vision. He included others in it. 

So. Yes. He would treasure those small moments with you. And if it meant taking a day and night off to take care of you during a rough time, then he’d do it. If it meant missing work (both his works) because one of his children was sick, so be it. 

He was Batman. But he was also a husband. A father. 

And now...Now he knew his priorities. 

He’d never stop being Batman. Never. 

But he knew now. He knew there was more to life than this dark world he thought he’d get stuck in till the end of his life. 

“I was about to watch a movie.” 

“A movie it is. If you want me here, of course.” 

“Do you even have to ask ?” 

“To make sure you’re ok ? Always.” 

“-sigh- Yes. Yes Bruce, I want you here. I want nothing else, in fact.” 

“Ah, not even pop-corn ?”

“...Once we’ll have pop-corn, I’ll want nothing else.” 

“Um, why is there tampons in your drawer ??” 

One day, one of Bruce’s associate, Carlton, needed some paperworks to finish a deal, and came into his office. Bruce was on the phone, and gestured to him to just pick the papers up in one of his desk’s drawer. 

Only the man misunderstood and opened the wrong drawer and...

“What the-Why is there tampons and pads in your drawers ?”

He asked, half-bewildered half-amused. Bruce finished his phone call, and answered : 

“Why wouldn’t there be ?” 

“Um, are you a woman ?” 

“No, but my wife, who often come to this office, is.” 

“Jeez Louise Bruce, never pegged you to be such a simp haha ! Oh man, they’re even “organic”, how far can you go for one woman right ? Haha joking of course, or maybe..haha !” 

There was something in the tone Carlton took that brushed Bruce the wrong way. Something disrespectful and irritating. Not disrespectful to him, as if he cared to be called a “simp” (by a grown ass man by the way, which made it even more ridiculous). No. He didn’t care. But..This was his wife, they were talking about, in the end. 

“A...”simp” ? Because I have items who can be useful to my wife in my desk drawer ? A place in which she often comes, as I already said ?” 

His voice was cold, and Carlton definitely noticed. He always thought Bruce was an affable man, but sometimes...Sometimes he had something almost scary in his eyes. 

Ah, but Carlton wasn’t the kind of man to really take this things seriously. And he added : 

“Come on Bruce, don’t you think it’s a little ridiculous ?”

“No.” 

“I just think it’s funny you have a drawer full of those things.” 

“As I said, my wife comes by often, and might need it sometimes. I keep them here for her. It often came in handy you know.” 

“Don’t say that, that’s so gross.” 

“Why ?” 

“Just thinking about it.” 

“Just thinking about something my wife, but also yours by the way, have no control over ?” 

“My wife doesn’t- We just don’t talk about it.” 

“Well I guess yes. Or you wouldn’t react that way. Do you not take care of her when she has her periods ?” 

At the word “periods”, the man opened his eyes wide, which made your husband roll his. It truly TRULY baffled him that this dude was being grossed by OBJECTS and most likely didn’t take care of his wife ? How could you love someone and not want to comfort them ?! 

“Well, I don’t think she- I- She doesn’t - I ...It’s embarrassing, no ?”

“No.” 

“Well, maybe it’s not with your wife but with mine it has been. She asked me a few times to buy pads for her.” 

“Why would it be embarrassing ? I can assure you, nobody is going to think it’s for you.” 

Carlton’s face was steadily going red. He said : 

“It’s just something we don’t talk about.”

“Why not ?” 

“It’s just...gross and...” 

“Why is it gross though ? Why do you think that way ?” 

“I mean, you know what periods are right ?” 

“Of course I do. It’s something happening to a very large chunk of our population, and that is a natural phase in their life. Do you think your wife wants to have periods ? Most likely not. Mine definitely doesn’t. But she does. So I do keep pads and tampons here in case of an emergency, in case she has nothing else on her.” 

“Nothing else ?” 

“Do you think only pads and tampons exist for women’s periods ?” 

“I-”

“It’s not hard to read up on it a bit. Especially when someone as close as your own wife is a “victim” of it."

Awkard silence. Clearly, the man was uncomfortable. Bruce sighed, and said : 

“Just go take care of those papers.” 

Evidently relieved, his associate almost ran out of the room. 

Bruce kept thinking about how funny Carlton thought it was to have pads in his drawers. How he was about to mock him further before he got called out. “Simp”. If taking care of the woman he loved meant being a simp, then whatever. 

Bruce couldn’t stop thinking about his associate’s words. And it gave him an idea...

The next day, every newspapers and local news channel talked about how the (Y/N) Wayne Foundation gave millions of dollars to every school and public places in the country to provide free tampons and pads to women. And how Bruce Wayne became a huge advocate of the “period positivity” movement his wife started. 

“Periods shouldn’t be taboo.”, he said in his speech for the grand-opening of thousands and thousands of free pads distributors. 

When the kids are around. 

Dick 

Dick was little when he first witnessed what your periods did to you, and he downright panicked when you fainted in front of him while you two were shopping for Bruce’s birthday present ! 

That morning when you woke up, you knew you were going to have your periods. You always felt it in your bones, a little bit before it truly started...But you also promised little Dickie you’d help him chose a gift for your husband. 

You hated breaking your promises. Especially the one you made to your kid. He was just nine, and already experienced so many heartache...You couldn’t just break a promise you made to him, no matter what. 

So you went anyway, knowing there was a high chance you’d feel ill during the day. You were hoping, in fact, your periods wouldn’t truly start up until the evening, and so you could spend the day with your son. 

Alas...

“Mom ? Mom !? Someone help !!” 

Your fainting during your period never lasted long. Just a sudden drop of energy, feeling dizzy, and falling...you woke up fast. Opening your eyes to see your baby boy with tears in his eyes. You knew what happened, and reassured him immediately. 

You refused to call an ambulance, and instead called Alfred to ask if he could come pick you two up (you would NOT risk driving while in this state). 

And there you were, sitting on a bench with your son while waiting for Alfred who would be there as soon as it takes to get from Wayne Manor to Gotham’s City Center. 

“Are you sure you’re ok ?” 

“Yes, don’t worry, this is normal.”

“Fainting is not normal !” 

Dick looked so distressed...Should you tell him what was going on ? But he was such a young child. 

Ah. But you were amongst the people who thought that kids weren’t as stupid as many people thought. And that they could handle the truth, especially this kind of things. 

Understand what was happening to you would surely easy his mind. And make him understand, and act accordingly in the future. Wether with you, or a possible girlfriend ? 

So you do just that. 

You explain to him what is going on. You don’t give too many scientific details, but you explain as best you can so he understands. 

“And every women has it ?” 

“Every women have periods yes. But not everyone’s hurt.” 

“Why do yours hurt ?” 

“We don’t really know. I guess I wasn’t lucky ?”

“Scientists don’t know ?” 

“Well, research on it are rather recents to be honest.” 

“Why ? Women had it long ago too no ?” 

“Yes, but it was a little taboo.” 

“Why ?”

“Patriarchy.” 

“Oh, damn patriarchy.” 

You laugh. You knows he didn’t understand your answer, said as a joke to yourself. But it’s absolutely adorable how he immediately sides with you anyway. 

“When I grow up, I’ll be a scientist. So I can help.” 

“Ah, I thought you wanted to be an adventurer like Indiana Jones ? Or “whatever dad is doing I want to do it too” ?” 

“Well. I can do more than once things at the same time, right ?” 

“Sure you can. You can do anything.” 

He smiles at you, and get closer for a little cuddle. And that’s how Alfred finds you two, your son hugging you, and you hugging him back, on a bench in the streets... 

************

After the initial panic, Dick made it his mission to take care of you. He got really scared when he saw you faint, and would actually be a little...overbearing. 

When he knew you were on your periods, he’d literally forbid you to walk around, and would make sure you had everything you needed. 

His attentions, plus Bruce’s, made you feel like periods weren’t so bad in the end ? 

Even as a grown up, Dick would often come by the manor with your favorite cake, for example, when he knew you didn’t feel well. And he would still get strict with you if he saw you roaming around and getting too busy while he knew you were in pain. 

He’d do whatever you had to, for you. Wether it was cleaning things up, picking groceries...Running any errands for you, so you could rest. 

You were definitely grateful. Even if sometimes, you wish you could just tell him to ease up a bit...Ah. But how could you really ? 

The trauma Dick felt when loosing his parents made him overprotective and rather intransigeant. This was just how he was. And you always loved all your children unconditionally. You could take him being a bit too overprotective sometimes, because oh, oh he brought so much in your life...  

Jason 

You having really bad periods is the reason why when Jason, as a child or an adult, heard anyone say to a girl : “Jeez, why you so moody are you on your periods ?!”, would get mad. 

It was cute to see his little ten years old self lecture grown adults about it : “Periods are really tough on a girl ! It’s not their fault is they don’t feel well or have mood swings, be more empathetic !”. 

And it was still cute to see him as an adult glare at those who’d say this and give them a sermon about why it was wrong, and they better not say it again “or else” (and when a man like your son said the words “or else”, literally no one wanted to find out what he meant by it). 

Once, someone told him, sarcastically : 

“Wow, you drunk a lot of “respect women juice” huh ?” 

“What is that even suppose to mean ? I’m being a decent human being. You should try it sometimes. If respecting women is so foreign to you, that hearing me say what I said is funny and ridiculous, reassess your life mate.”

It’s really not like anyone really wanted to argue with your son. Besides the fact he was very tall, and as a vigilante definitely worked out a lot...he had a “dangerous” air about him. It was his eyes maybe, daring anyone to argue and making them understand he wouldn’t back down without a fight ? 

Ah. But if only people tried to look beyond that. If they only tried to know your son. 

They’d realize he’s the sweetest little buddy around.  

It surprised people that you still called him “little buddy” even as he was fast approaching his mid-twenties. But for you... 

For you he was still that little, sweet Jay he was before he died. The one that you could still see sometimes, behind all his anger, trauma and hurt. 

Ever since he was a child, Jason always felt everything more than anyone around him. He was an “hypersensitive” child. When he was angry, he was enraged. When he was happy, he was the happiest boy on Earth. When he was sad, it was hard to console him. 

When he grew up, and all those bad things happened to him...This trait of his got even more enhanced. It was sometimes hard to reach him under all those negative emotions...Yet. Yet you managed to do it. 

Bruce too...But that was another story. 

For now, you just always felt extremely proud that your son was actually not as harsh as some people thought (the same mistakes they all kept making about your husband...you hated this kind of assumptions). 

He always stood up for the underdogs. And was always respectful, and would voice his opinions. 

Like how he hated when people told women : “ugh are you on your periods ?!” if they were being just a tiny bit difficult (sometimes, not even). 

As a kid, Jason would worry a lot about you when you were on your periods. He hounded Bruce to know if you were ok, which your husband didn’t mind, of course. But he never quite dared to “bother you”. 

Of course, he would never bother you. But Jason was a complicated kid who always worried too much. He didn’t want to get in your way, or annoy you. 

So he had little quiet actions for you. 

Like getting your slippers warm when you’d wake up, by placing them near the radiators all night and putting them right beside your bed before you’d wake up. Or bringing you hot beverages. Baking your favorite treats, and leaving them in strategic places so you’d see it. Or scolding his dad when he thought he wasn’t taking care of you enough haha. 

Jason was a good kid. Nobody would ever change your mind on that. He was a good kid, to whom bad things happened. Yet he never strayed from his principles...No matter how people could see his recent actions. 

Jason was a good kid. 

He was your kid. 

As a child, he hated this week during which you had your periods. He dreaded them as much as you did. Just like Bruce, he had a hard time standing you being hurt...

As an adult. It was the same. And he still had little silent actions to make you feel better. To make your day easier. 

That was Jason for you. 

Such, such a good kid... 

Tim 

Tim, very much like his father, was a boy who needed to always have a plan, and to know everything before finding solutions. 

When you were on your periods, he’d always know. Because he kept a calendar about it. 

Some people might find it weird, but...Why ? He kept count of the days to know when you’d have your periods, so he could act accordingly. So he wouldn’t be caught off guard by one of your mood swings. And so he could take care of you ?? 

It was an act of care, to keep track of your periods. Sometimes, he even knew before you when you were going to have it. 

People who thought it was weird to kept such a calendar, were the same people who thought periods were gross and a taboo subject. 

Sure, it was definitely not very glamorous. But it was part of half of the World’s population life ?? Why keep it taboo and refusing to talk about it ? 

Tim immediately, just like his dad, did a lot of research on women’s menstruations...Which got you to be called in his principal’s office once. 

The man was worried, and unhappy that your son was reading a magazine “for woman” about “menstruations”, he thought the topic was vulgar and inappropriate. 

Your son was 13. Which was also the age many of his girl friends were experiencing their first periods. And that principal was out there, scolding him because he talked about it, making an entire generation of little girls thinking they were wrong for having periods ? 

Needless to say, you got rather mad. And the principle never called you ever again (if he had to call, he was always making sure to get your husband on the line, and not you).

And so Tim kept learning everything possible about it, in the hope also to find the perfect remedies to ease your pain. He tried a lot, to help you out. Gave tricks to Bruce, too. 

And so, kept a calendar. 

This allowed him to know if something was wrong, as well. 

He was the first one to guess you were pregnant with Thomas, because of his calendar. And one time, you had hormonal problems and he’s the one that told you you should check an endocrinologist because you’d been too irregular with your periods time ! 

Yes. Just like his dad, Tim needed to know a situation fully before acting. And seeing him trying to know as much as he could in order to help you was...why, it was the most adorable thing in the world. 

Cass

Cass’ periods were not painful, and you were so glad for her. 

To her, it was a mild annoyance, there was no pain, it was just irritating. And yes, she had mood swings and could easily get mad, but it was nothing major. 

She never even knew other women could have it so bad...The education about periods was really lacking ! They never talked about it anywhere ! 

Cass was a woman of few words...but she knew how to pass her emotions through her body language. Oh, how she knew. 

“Momma.” 

Just like your other kids, she’d come check on you when Bruce couldn’t take care of you. You wanted space sometimes, which they all understood. But honestly, during your periods, when you were so sensitive about everything ? You also wanted them around almost all the time. 

A paradox. Very fitting of those damn periods time. 

Cass would just sit with you, and make sure you were comfortable. She wouldn’t say a word. Lay her head on your shoulder, and hold your hand. Watch movies with you. Hold you close. 

She was delicate with you, as if afraid to break you. 

Just like your husband, her presence had a soothing effect ? As if nothing bad could ever happen to you as long as she was there (and that probably was right, Cassandra would never let anyone touch her “momma”).

She didn’t need to talk. She didn’t need to do anything more than stay with you when you didn’t want to be alone. 

She never experienced the pain you had, but if even to her, who had painless periods, it was annoying and a damn plague ? Then to you... 

She didn’t need to do much. 

Just her being there already meant a lot. 

Her holding onto you, even as she stayed afraid of anyone’s touch for so long. 

“Momma.” 

Cassandra was your only daughter. And oh you were glad her periods weren’t as bad as yours. That’s all that really mattered to you. 

“Momma.” 

You often fell asleep with the warmth of your kiddo right there. Next to you. Knowing she wasn’t going to leave unless you wanted to. Knowing she wish she could take your pain on. 

Ah. But no. No even if it was possible you’d never allow that. You were the mom. YOU were supposed to take their pains on. 

And knowing that Cass never suffered on her periods as bad as you did, was enough. After all, your baby suffered enough in the past...She could get a little lucky, right ? 

“Momma.” 

That word was music to your hear. Cass’ first word to you. 

She didn’t need to talk anyway. Being here was enough...

It was more than enough. 

Damian 

Everyone who saw Damian around you would notice that he wasn’t quite the same boy than "normally”. 

He was calmer, nicer, and sweeter. 

You’d argue that it was his real self. That this was his “normal”. That he was just never allowed to show his true heart before, and wasn’t used to trust others and open up. And you were definitely more than happy that he finally managed to do that after arriving into your home. 

That none of you ever gave up on him. 

You especially had a calming effect on him. After all, he never had a “conventional” mom, who could take care of him when he was sick, kiss him good night and make sure he always had everything he needed. 

Some would say you coddled him too much...And you didn’t care. Because that boy lived 10 years being the opposite of coddled. So what, if you’d cut the crust off of his sandwiches, or read him bed time stories every single night ? 

Damian loved it. As he often said, being a momma’s boy was “hardly something he was ashamed of”. He never felt loved and safe before, you bet he’d take every chance he got to be cared for. 

He never got to act like an actual kid. You allowed him to do just that, AND you made him feel like he belonged. Finally. Like he had an actual family. 

So...The day he heard about your absolutely awful periods, what did he do ? 

Every single day of your life with him, you had at least one nice intention to him. Wether it was baking his favorite cookies, or telling him how proud you were of him, you always had nothing but kindness for him, often going out of your way for your son. 

It was normal for you. Of course. And you did it with all your children...but you had to admit maybe Damian had just a little more of it, because he really never had anything like that to him. 

And to him, it only felt normal then, when you felt at your worst, that he’d be there for you exactly like you were there for him. 

During any mood swings, he’d have comforting words for you. He had little attentions for you that just made life easier. 

Again, it would greatly surprise anyone but his family, but when you had your periods, he did a lot of overly sappy little things. 

Like for example : every month, he wrote seven things he found extraordinary about you and would put them in a jar. Seven. The number of day in a week. And usually the number of day, give or take, your periods would last. 

The jar would be sitting right on your bedside table on the first day, with the indications you had to read one paper every morning, or every time you felt down (it was supposed to be one paper a day). Sometimes, you’d go through his seven messages in less than a day...and magically, the next day, the jar would be filled again. 

Damian made sure of it. 

This was just a small example. But it showed exactly what kind of boy your son really was. 

If he was heartless, a killer, someone destined to destroy the World...would he really put that much effort into making you feel love ? Into making you feel better any way he could ? 

You didn’t think so. The only way your son could ever “turn bad”, was if you (and Bruce) stopped caring for him. Left him alone (A/N : this is a CLEAR jab at current comics canon, if you know what I mean :I ). Only if he felt abandoned, unloved, and rejected. 

You knew your boy had, just like you, “rejection dysphoria”. It was hard for him to accept any kind of rejection, and it made him act out and hurt. But that was another story... 

Right now, all that mattered to you, is that you knew your son was always going to be there for you, just like you’d always be there for him. 

That he finally learned how to love, and care. That he would never unlearn it, as long as you lived. 

Your periods sucked. 

So bad. 

But Damian was a ray of light in the darkness of those seven dreaded days...

Duke 

Duke’s mom also had endometriosis. 

Over the years, he perfected a “special remedy” he always made her when she had her periods. 

He hesitated to make it for you. After all, it was something that made him bond greatly with his own mom...was making it for you, now, acceptable ? Did it mean he forgot about his mother ? 

No. No of course not. 

Duke scolded himself for even thinking that. You too, became his mom. He learned over the years that it was ok, to have two mom. That when they’ll find a cure for his parents, it wouldn’t take away the years you filled in for the mother role, and took care of Duke as if he was your own. 

So here we go. 

Some ginger. Some lemon. A dash of his little secret ingredients. Your favorite blend of tea. And it was done. 

He brought it to you, saying it always soothed his mom...

And just that. 

Just those words. It meant so much. 

“It always used to soothe my mom. Used to do it all the time, ever since I was five !” 

He said with a smile. 

It was something he used to do for his mom, and now he did it for you. Just this. Just that fact, it was enough to make you feel better. 

It didn’t take away the pain, but mentally ? It felt amazing. 

You drunk his concoction and...Oh god. 

Oh god it was disgusting. And...Ah. Yes. His mom probably pretended she liked it. “Ever since I was five !”. Ha. So cute. But also, it really was gross. 

At the same time, you felt a pleasant warmth spread through your body as the terrible aftertaste slowly faded. Duke smiled to you, and with a little mischief in his voice said : 

“It’s really gross, isn’t it ? But it does the trick haha” 

There was a few seconds of silence. During which you blinked at him, not quite registering what he just said. Until... 

You burst out laughing. The little mischievous smile, and the way he said “it’s really gross, isn’t it ?” was just too funny. 

Your communicative laugh spread to Duke, and as he laughs it makes you laugh even louder too and...You forget. 

For a moment you forget about your periods. The pain. The anguish. The emotional labor. This damn week of hell. 

You forget.

And you just laugh. 

You laugh alongside your son. 

Thomas (if you wonder who the H is Thomas, you can check my “Batmom” masterlists, he appears from the story “the great mall adventure” ^^)

Thomas must’ve been about four, when he first saw you having your periods. 

Your littlest baby was also one of the most sensitive out of them all (right along with Jason, the two of them cried their eyes out when they watched “Inside Out” and Bing Bong disappeared). Bruce always said he took that after you. And honestly, you couldn’t disagree. It’s true you could be very sensitive. 

So one morning, when he woke up and went to breakfast and heard you weren’t feeling right, he immediately went to you and...

Bruce found him an hour later, crying in his room. 

“Oh wow hey hey, what is it buddy ?” 

He asked, trying to hide the panic in his voice. Thomas might’ve been sensitive, but he rarely cried. He was just a very empathetic boy. But also a cheerful one, and he had a knack to see the good even in the worst situations. 

So seeing him sob like that, made Bruce’s heart drop. 

“Is mommy going to die ?!” 

It took Bruce a few seconds to get a hold of his racing heart. His son crying. And asking if you were going to die. It shortcircuited his brain for a few seconds. Until he realized what Thomas was talking about...

“Oh, oh no champ, no, mommy isn’t going to die.” 

Your kids were used to see you strong and fierce. Of course the first time your little one would see you on your period, he’d think something big was wrong.

He had just recently learned what death really mean (you can read about this here : The day he understand what Death means), and since then was so scared it’d happen to his parents. Or his siblings. Or anyone he knew, really... 

Picking up his son and slowly and softly tapping his back in soothing circles, he walked around the room and rocked him until the boy calmed down a bit, before trying to explain as best he could why mommy felt bad, without going in in too many details. 

Once Thomas understood this was just like when he got a fever that time, that it would pass, he felt much better. But also worst. Because his mommy wasn’t feeling well ! And it happened often ! 

Bruce reassured him that there were ways they could help you...And soooo : 

Thomas brought you hot water bottles, with the help of his dad (the bottles were almost as big as him), and ended up falling asleep  on one as it laid on your belly (he heard that humans’ body heat was very strong and wanted to “help the hot water bottle”). 

The water in the bottle became cold, and you removed it..Your son didn’t woke up, so you laid him back down on your belly. And he was warm and so tiny, and you loved him so much...It made you feel like the luckiest woman in the world, to be surrounded by people like this little one. 

And all your kids. Alfred. Your friends. Broosh...You fell asleep with sweet dreams made of warmth and cuddles. 

Not long after, Bruce came by to check on you, finding both you and Tommy deeply asleep and...An overwhelming feeling of happiness took him over. 

You weren’t the only one feeling lucky. Except for Bruce...For Bruce it was even stronger, because after his parents died, he never thought he would be happy ever again. 

This was why he’d always be there for you. You gave him another family... 

His schedule was freed, and he had a busy day. A nap sounded perfect. Especially while nestled against you, with his little one right there. 

Dick came by in the afternoon, and found all of you like this. Bruce holding both you and his son, Thomas taking way more space than such a small body would make you thing he’d take. 

Dick snapped a picture, and send it to the group chat he had with his siblings and some other close friends and such (like Clark, Wally, Conner, Diana etc etc they used the group chat to gossip about Bruce, mainly). With the caption : “Big bad bat tamed by a four year old”. 

Cass send multiple hearteyes emojis. Jason said it was adorable and send a crying emoji, and didn’t care one bit what anyone would think of him saying such things. Damian yelled at Dick that he should’ve put the comforter back up on his baby brother and mom because it wasn’t properly put on !! Duke send a : “I’m downloading that picture for the next time he gets mad at us and we need to soften him up”. Tim replied with a gif of Maes Hughes from Full Metal Alchemist saying : “dis dad”. Clark said “they look so peaceful, you wouldn’t believe he threatened me just yesterday to punch me because I made a joke” to which Diana answered : “that joke was so bad I wanted to punch you to. Cute pic btw, give kisses to Tommy for me, you should come see me more, I just stocked my freezer with nothing but ice creams”..Everyone send a little comment about it. 

Because even superheroes, could have normal conversations about those they love. 

Suffering alone is a thing of the past

It’s funny. You couldn’t even remember, now, what it felt like “before”. 

Before. 

Before you met Bruce.

Before that first time he showed up to your apartment to take care of you. 

How were your periods before that ? The worst. 

Definitely. 

Actual Hell.

Not that they were feeling better now. Oh no. There were time your overdramatic self exclaimed : “uuuugh just kill me alreadyyyy” when the pain was too grand...But you weren’t alone anymore. 

That’s what made it a bearable moment of the month. 

It still felt as bad as it used to when you were younger. 

But it wasn’t just you agonizing in your bedroom all alone anymore. 

It wasn’t you wishing you’d have someone to take care of you, and to try and ease the pain. Not anymore. 

It wasn’t you crying with nobody to dry your tears anymore...

No. You had an entire army of people right there just for you. 

Alfred, your children, and most of all...Bruce. 

Your Broosh. 

Ah. If only some people could see this side of him you and your family knew. The caring and loving one. In a way though, it was rather comforting and made you feel special, that only you and your kiddos knew the real Bruce ? 

Of course  nowadays, some of his closest friends like Clark and Diana weren’t fooled anymore either. But they’d never see him the way you did, when you were in unbearable pain, and he was right there, drawing soothing circle on your back, keeping you warm and safe... 

This was only privy to you. 

Your Broosh. 

Yes. 

Your periods were still as painful as they used to. But now...

Now you weren’t alone anymore. 

The end. 

________________________________________________

Hey guys ! I hope you liked this :). As usual, feedbacks and reblogs are always welcomed ! (Especially lately, the reblog ratio seems at its worst haha). And again, I really hope you liked this. I was finally able to sit down and write after weeks of  being stuck in a depressed mood, so I’m quite excited about sharing this. But as usual, always a bit nervous that you’ll be disappointed blahblahblah low self-esteem and all that haha... :). I just hope this is to your liking. Thank you.  

[unnecessarywriting]

You talked about how Ran tends to hide away his true emotions behind his whole charismatic and powerful persona earlier. What do you think those emotions are? Like at his core with all the glam and acting stripped away how do you think he is/ how do you think he sees himself?

I almost feel like I'm creating a little world around these two now. Which is actually kinda fun for me.

Anyway, I feel like Ran has a lot of self doubt. Typically, when someone is trying to present themselves like how Ran does, they're often compensating for something.

I talked about how later on I think he starts to just feel empty and disappointed in himself (Bonten Arc) but prior to that, I think he's hiding away the long-lasting effects of whatever happened to him before.

I think there is some shame in how he's living and how he "brought up" Rin. Almost like he feels like he could've done better for himself and his brother.

I also feel like he never had that chance to be a kid. It feels like he was tasked with taking care of Rin, so he had to grow up pretty quickly, not to mention having to deal with the consequences of his and Rin's actions. All of that stuff builds up, but obviously he can't just come right out and say it.

I think before I brought up a point that he was probably hoping that he could make his dreams come true, but I think deep down he knows that he's in too deep, and that he almost signed his life away to crime. But again, these are just what I think he would be feeling inside. Just some shame and a lot of self doubt that counter the persona that he lets everyone else.

So, I think it is hard to say how he really is because I don't even think he knows. I think he would be his full real self when he's alone, and well, I feel like most of that time is sleeping away. It's almost like he uses that as a method of escape.

As for how he sees himself, well I think he tries really hard to see himself as the person he presents to everyone else. Almost like he's trying to trick himself into believing that it's true. Otherwise, I think he just sees a disappointment who doesn't know how to move forward and do better. But I also think that he doesn't want to, like he's completely given up.

I will say though that I do think he values his looks more than just for his persona. I think it also gives him that last ounce of hope that he can fulfill his goals, plus it does make him feel good about himself. It's like a small boost of serotonin every now and then. One that isn't coming from violence, so he doesn't have to feel bad.

I'll point out too that I think Rin can sense some of this, which is why he understands when his brother lashes out. But I don't think he really will ever fully understand the capacity of what Ran feels.

Thank you for the ask! I was actually really excited to sit and think about this. It's making me feel almost like I'm on criminal minds but I'm not smart enough for that.

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

Hey. Thanks for answering my last ask. I did like Tom/Lily back at my day (lol as if I'm that old) but to be fair...any ship with Lily is better than Jilly.

One question. What you think of Hinny and Luna x Ginny? Cause nit gone lie I think Luna x Ginny has more potential than Hinny. But maybe is because I love the trope "pop falls for unpop"

... I’m not sure I’m supposed to feel as insulted as I do that I apparently barely cleared the very low bar that is Jily. 

Moving on.

I’ve given most of my thoughts on Ginny and shipping here.

Harry/Ginny

To sum up for what you’re asking though, I think Harry/Ginny is a complete disaster. Oh, Harry’s the only one she has eyes for but... it is not a good relationship.

Both of them are attracted to the idea of one another and barely seem to know who the other is.

In the case of Ginny, she tries to be someone who she thinks Harry will be attracted to. She takes note of what failed with his relationship with Cho and goes out of her way not to be that. All of her actions in the sixth book are geared towards desperately getting Harry’s attention. More, she projected this heroic persona onto Harry Potter that she never seems to see anything beneath it.

Harry for his own part... likes Ginny’s skin? His attraction to her in Halfblood Prince is one of the weirdest things I have ever read. He seems to lust after her, sort of, we get this green rage monster that throws a fit every time he sees Dean Thomas with Ginny. However, he really doesn’t know much about her and proceeds to barely spend any time with her even when they start dating. That he leaves her in Deathly Hallows is very telling, and very chilling to me. Not only is Ginny not a part of “the gang” and not invited to their club house, Harry is effectively leaving her to be taken hostage by Voldemort. This doesn’t bother him, at all, but then nothing really does.

I also think Harry’s gay (he spends a lot more time drooling after attractive men in canon then he does attractive women), he just doesn’t know it.

So, I think his and Ginny’s marriage is likely a disaster. Ginny has affairs all the time as nothing works out the way she thought it would but is too in love with the fame, the money, and the dream of being Harry Potter’s wife to ever leave. Harry’s utterly oblivious to his wife cheating on him and has to have it pointed out by James Sirius. Harry doesn’t believe him.

I’ll put it like this, their marriage is worse than Ron and Hermione’s. And that, my friend, is a low bar.

A Tangent: Ginny’s Not Popular

I’m actually going to argue that Ginny’s not at all popular. In fact, I imagine she’s actually severely disliked. Harry’s just too oblivious to notice.

So, first, Ginny is the youngest sister of the Weasley family. We see the hit this has on Ron, who has a massive inferiority complex, but we don’t see what it means to Ginny. What we can assume though, is that she’s known, and that the instant she walks into school she has a reputation that’s not necessarily good.

Percy, her brother, is that smarmy asshole prefect.

Fred and George are those assholes who constantly prank everyone. Some think this is hilarious, usually when they’re not the victims, others aren’t too keen on this.

Ron’s that guy who’s constantly getting into trouble with Harry Potter, is a known dumbass who doesn’t even have a working wand in his second year (wizards are elitist like this), and earns hundreds of house points at the end of the year for committing arson.

All of this will feed into how people perceive Ginny before even meeting her. For better or for worse, she is a Weasley, and that means people will see her a certain way.

And then Ginny has the worst first year imaginable.

She isolates herself and pours her heart and soul into a diary. Every second she’s spending talking to Tom Riddle is a second she’s not making friends. More, Ginny’s behavior becomes more and more erratic as Tom Riddle begins to possess her. She starts missing classes, acting strangely, etc.

And I think it’s damning that no one noticed.

No one is watching Ginny, no one is even around her, so if she disappears for a few hours and wakes up covered in blood in the bathroom, nobody knows. Had Tom not written a message informing the entire school that Ginny had been kidnapped, no one would have noticed, Ginny would have died down there in the chamber and it would have been days until someone, maybe, put it together.

Ginny in her first year has no friends.

And then it’s too late.

We see with Harry that people in Hogwarts form friendships fast and they rarely change. You get your clique in you first few weeks of Hogwarts, and if you’re unlucky like Hermione then it takes a few months and a troll nearly killing you to find your group, and then you stick with that group.

Ginny comes back second year, everyone already has their best friends, there’s no room for her. She tries to integrate into a group, they just give her weird looks, and more remember her as that sickly lunatic.

Because remember, that she was possessed is not known beyond a few people. It’s never publicized, and most probably think Harry or Hagrid was behind the Chamber of Secrets Fiasco II: Electric Boogaloo.

So, you get a bunch of kids who don’t want to hang out with Ginny. And, Hogwarts houses are so insular, that Ginny can’t really go and hang out with anyone else.

For all that Ginny joins the quidditch team, for all she joins the DA, I don’t think she ever really has friends. She’s just the youngest and weirdest Weasley.

And then comes her fifth year.

Ginny decides she’s going to date every guy in Hogwarts to get Harry’s attention. Now, good or bad, this is going to get Ginny a reputation, a very negative one. To the male Hogwarts population: Ginny’s an easy lay. To the female Hogwarts population: Ginny’s that bitch who will steal your boyfriend.

Halfblood Prince will not make Ginny any friends.

Ginny/Luna

It has more potential than Harry/Ginny but I personally don’t think it’s going to happen.

Like everyone else, Ginny looks down on Luna, which is a bit hilarious as per the above I don’t think Ginny’s rolling in popularity either. Luna’s weirdness is tolerated at best in a sort of, “Oh, look how cute and nuts she is, let’s pat Luna on the head.”

More, as I explained in the Ginny shipping meta linked, Ginny only has eyes for Harry and I think it would take a lot for her to look in any other direction. And to go for Looney Lovegood instead?

Part of Harry’s appeal is that he’s Wizarding Jesus, he’s important, wonderful, charming, a prince in Ginny’s eyes. Luna’s that batty girl who lives down the street and has radishes in her ears.

I just don’t see Ginny ever going for it.

As for Luna, she’s hard to get a read on, but I believe she’s fully aware of what different people think of her. She’s a very kind and generous person who overlooks this for her friends, but in a romantic partner... I think Luna is waiting for someone who truly understands her or if not that then at least truly likes her.

I don’t think that will ever be Ginny.

[arcadejohn127-9]

Call me the flash because of how fast I’m asking this! XD

Anyways, how do you think the boys would all react to a MC who HATES Valentines Day because their former boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other dumped them on Valentine’s Day?

Damn we got a speedster over here! Someone call the justice League, you're missing a super XD

As someone who just generally dislikes valentine's I feel like this will go very well~ though seeing as alot of my prompts are the boys and them are already in a relationship - I decided to add abit of ✨ oof✨ to this prompt

Lucifer:

Not a big Valentine times day fan either

Ever since the Devildom was introduced to the holiday he wasn't a fan

There was no such thing as love in the air

But then you came into his house; he still finds it stupid and doesn't get the hype but having you around makes me him wonder if he should do something

When he found out you hated valentine's Day he felt relieved

But because it was because of a past lover???

He sees this as a challenge; you really think he's going to just brush this off?

When valentine comes you are greeted to roses, chocolates, wine and a fully prepared meal for you two

"Is this fitting enough for the holiday? I heard people tend to go overboard these days."

"You know I didn't want to celebrate today-"

You frowned, slowly coming to sit with him at his desk which has been turned into a makeshift table with cloth covering it

"And let some mortal spoil such an occasion even with your present partner? Think of this as your first steps of Getting over them."

"I'm mortal, Lucifer, don't say it like it's something insulting."

He jabbed his fork at you, raising a brow

"You're avoiding my point, don't you wish to move on?"

"I- of course....I'm happy with you."

"Then dig in, I made it myself."

You huffed, digging In but soon found yourself wrapped up in how delicious it was

He raised his wine glass to you, silently gesturing for you to do the same

"To a new meaning to valentine's."

You hesitated but repeated his words

Your glasses clinked and that was the first sign of your relationship becoming stronger

Mammon:

Active lover of the holiday and celebrates every year - couples want gifts and he can get money aswell as the fact he's a romantic

So when he found out you hated valentine's; he had to change that even when he found out why - that reason just made him annoyed that you were still hating on the holiday

"yo! Yo! Yo! Guess who just got money~ this guy so that means I'm treating ya!"

"oh? How comes?"

"It's valentine's! And you're the person I'm spending it with!"

"you know I hate it-"

He huffed, puffing out his cheeks

"And I'm going to make you stop hating it, was that ex of yours really so important you don't wanna spend valentine's with me?"

"It's complicated, I just really hate it now, it's attached to bad memories-"

"then let's change that! Make some good memories so you can stop being a grump on the day of love."

He grabbed your hands, giving you puppy eyes

You were utterly helpless to them and let him take you out

He stole a heart balloon and tied it to your wrist, doing your initials on it in Sharpie with a 'x' between them

He did definitely treat you; buying you chocolates, a teddy bear, the two of you matching keychains and many other items

You let yourself be happy as he got excited, dragging you around to every shop either of you looked at, wanting to get more matching stuff

He definitely made your valentine's a positive one

Levithan:

Hated it

His reason was because he was always alone for them, never getting anything and ending up never giving anyone anything because he believes they'll hate it

He felt Insecure that you seemed to still be attached to the breakup of your ex

Fearing that you could be missing them

You both spent valentine's as a couple but mocking and booing at others

At one point you threw Chocolates you didn't like at a overly touchy demon couples from a window

"Do you still think about them....?"

"Who?"

"Your ex, you're not over your breakup with them and we've been spending Valentines being bitter."

"I thought you enjoyed being bitter about it."

"I do but could you answer my questions, please - I know I'm not much and I'm sure they were so much better than me but maybe we could spend a little bit of valentine's together as you know....a celebrating coup-couple."

He was completely blushing, hiding his face behind his arm hoping his rambling didn't completely ruin your feelings towards him

"If you really want to, I don't have any feelings for my ex and it's just that reflection that sticks with me but, I wanna try if it'll make you feel more secure."

You guys ended up watching 'normie' movies, cuddled in his bathtub bed eating what was left your chocolates

You kissed his jaw and he immediately stopped functioning

You smiled, holding him closer

Perhaps valentine's can be a good time

Satan:

Casual valentine's man

Doesn't really care for the holiday and only has spent it with his brothers

He's use to just giving his brothers a small gift and never have a partner to spend it with

But things were different now and sadly, you hated the holiday

He respected your reason why but he felt worried that you were fully over your ex as you still let the holiday be ruined for you

He got you a small gift like he does his brother's

Wanting you to be apart of it but not doing anything big

"happy valentine's, I know you don't celebrate it but I thought you'd like the gift anyway."

"Satan....I didn't get you anything- Let's go out then, I'll treat you."

"I'll consider it a valentine's date."

Whilst he normally had a 'meh' feeling to it, he wanted to spend his first valentine's with you on a date

He just wants the experience and can say he's spend it with you

Even if it was a one time thing

"really Satan?"

"Let's spend this one together and be happy, next year we can go destory things and let out our anger towards the world."

That won you over, you agreed

You took him on a date

You both tried to ignore all the decorations everywhere but that was pretty hard, got lunch together and even walked around to see the new sights

You ended up in the park, staring to the horizon with confetti on your backs and Satan with a party hat

It was forced on him whilst you guys were out but he never got rid of it

"I liked today, maybe after we destory things we can go on another date next year?"

Asmodeus:

He LOVES love!

Nothing brings him more joy than valentine's

Aphrodisiacs are being sold EVERYWHERE

When he found you out hated it he was so upset, he wanted to spend it with you! His usual valentine's crew was nothing compared to you!

And you hated it because of an ex dumping you?!

"Noooooooo! (Y/N) don't let them ruin this for you, please, let's go on a cute picnic or even just stay in room if you don't want to go outside-"

If anyone saw asmo hugging your leg whilst you trudged down the halls, they definitely didn't say anything

"Let me spend today how I want!"

"what? Eat ice cream and get grumpy over someone you're not dating anymore?"

You frowned, knowing he was right

"why not spend it with your gorgeous boyfriend instead? Don't I shine up on your day?"

He had those Puppy eyes again

You finally stopped trying to get away from him, crouching down and cupping his face

"will you let go of my leg if I say yes?"

He nodded

As soon as he stood up you helped him straighten up his clothes, fixing his hair for him

"I'm sorry for dragging you around the house, I know I shouldn't be moping but it just really hurt."

"I know, darling but let's get through this together, we'll do whatever you want."

He was being honest; you were in charge of the whole day

You stayed in his room, having a romantic bath and then ate your feelings

After that you both went out and enjoyed dinner

Life really was happier with him; you decided you'll be doing with him more often

Beezlebub:

Mainly focuses on family valentine's

Has had to play a few sports game on the holiday and every player got a kiss and gift from a cheerleader

He liked the thought and always liked it when he was given food

But he wasn't interested in any of them

Or really the holiday itself, he always wants to share his love for the people around him

Why wait until some holiday to do it?

But when he finds out you hate valentine's and it's because of your ex

He considered fighting your ex

Doesn't want to force you to celebrate with him but wants to be able to do stuff with you

"Wanna go out to eat? They have valentine's day deals."

"i don't really feel like taking any part of it."

"I want to spend today with you and don't like seeing you being upset over the past."

"You just want to eat? No surprise dates or big deal about today?"

"no, just want to hang out with you."

"....okay."

He immediately took your hand, taking you to the restaurant he saw online

On the way we got you a magic rose

Handing it over for you to wear

But other than that he stuck to his word,just having eating out with you and didn't even talk about the holiday

You smiled but apart of you did feel bad you were going to stop something like this from having because of your ex

You felt the rose, looking up at him

"Want to take a couple's picture? They're doing it for couples celebrating today."

"we don't have to, you don't like today."

But you insisted, letting him pick you up for the picture and kissed his cheek

You were able to get the picture in different sizes and he put the small one in his wallet

From then on you planned to keep spending Valentines with beel

Belphegor:

Absolutely disgusted by it

Will always tell anyone how much he hates it

But on the other hand, he watches romcoms and yells at the TV for the chatacters not understanding they love each other every valentine's

He's just trying to keep up his edgelord persona, okay

When he learned you hated valentine's he was happy

Means he didn't have to do anything

But it's because of your ex?? He's now going to be romantic as FUCK

You enter the attic expecting to find a chill place to rest but instead there are rose petals everywhere and belphie laying waiting for you

You expected something like this from asmo but you couldn't deny seeing your boyfriend try to be romantic whilst half asleep was pretty cute

"I have romcoms and violent horror movies, pick your flavour."

"what's with all this? You know my feelings about Valentine's."

"I'm not going to let some pathetic ex ruin this valentine's for us, so I'm romancing you - is it working?"

"I'm picking the horror movie."

You put the dvd in ignoring him

"That doesn't change the mood for me."

You should of known

You cuddled and watched as people got ripped open and blood went flying

Belphie wiggling his eyebrows at you whenever an couple came on

You just shoved his face laughing

You forgot your bitter feelings and looked down at your now asleep boyfriend

"thanks for today, maybe you can try again next year."

UNDATEABLES↓

Diavolo:

Thrilled by it all!

It's so heart warming to see love be so celebrated

Demons were always so violent and everything had to be edgy - he was tired of it

Was disappointed you hated it, he already had plans for the both of you

But after finding out the reason - it seems all his scheduling was back and the gifts became more grand

"Trust me, I'll change your mind on Valentines! We're together now and I want to treat you to a date."

"but why? I don't wanna take part-"

"We are going to get through your heartbreak together! I know things can still sting even when you feel over it, so let's just try."

You thought it over, nodding

He just grinned, taking you by the shoulder and led you to the royal carriage

You struggled to sit down when it was filled with gifts and flowers

They all had your name on them and immediately blushed

You should of known he'd go all out

He took you to see the Devildom at night, where all the lights covered the streets like stars

He set up a picnic in the park and you both ended up dancing in the water fountain

"I really enjoyed today, thank you."

He kissed your cheek, telling you not to worry

Barbatos:

Isn't a fan of all the decorating and cleaning up that'll be involved when the day is over

But he gets time off to de-stress and that's always a plus

He was thankful you weren't a fan of Valentines but your ex? He might have to write them out of timelines

Understood you just had a sting from it all and was use to feeling that way

Was surprised when you were one to actually make the first move on Valentines

"I wanted to give you this, I don't want to celebrate but I thought this could be nice?"

It was a pocket watch with a hidden compartment, it had a picture of you and him

Good thing he also got you something; a locket with the same picture you have him

Was it an accident? On purpose? He'll never tell, he just knows it's your favourite picture of you two

"I see, then we won't celebrate it but I'm sure you would still be willing to accompany me in the gardens?"

Takes you on a boat ride across the lake even better as it's sunset and the water looks immaculate

Cooks you both dinner and you just spend the day as if it was any other

"I like spending Valentines with you."

"I would hope so or I would fail as your boyfriend."

"I wanna spend the next one with you properly."

"As you wish, I'll be sure to make it the best one you've ever experienced."

Solomon:

Forgets holidays

Always likes bringing up history facts about any holiday as he's seen them all evolve from one part of history to modern day

Pretends to not know how to celebrate it so people will try to explain it to him and end up not really knowing why they celebrate things

You hate Valentines? Doesn't care but it's because of your ex? That he doesn't get

"So you're still hurting from your past relationship that you don't want to spend valentine's with your boyfriend?"

"when you say it like that it sounds really bad."

"I'm not really up for celebrating so it makes no difference to me but I'm not sure I can accept you still letting them upset."

You sighted, knowing he was going to make up some sort of plan or trick

But instead he just kissed your hand

"let's go to the human world, I heard there's a traveling fairground."

You agreed to go, both of you making it there in seconds and of course everything was heart themed

You couldn't escape the love

It was actually really fun! There were bouncy castles, a Ferris wheel and lots of food stands

You were definitely willing to celebrate again if it was going to be like this

Simeon:

A day of love? It's Charming

Finds it amusing how people can much such a big deal out of it all

Though he thinks you should always be expressive of how much you love the people around you

So you hating it was an opposite to him but he was respectful

Knowing it was because of your ex made him displeased

Whilst very understanding, wanted to atleast improve your opinion on the holiday so you didn't associate it with them anymore

"Let's just do one couples related thing today then we can do whatever you please."

"but why? I should be allowed to dislike what I dislike."

"you're absolutely right but you're letting an ex ruin a whole day for you, don't you want to spend it with me?"

"of course I do! I'm just unsure."

He smiled, grasping your hands

"that's fine, we won't do anything big, just a fun date and then you're free to do as you please."

He was right, you didn't do anything big

Just went to a pottery class and you made all sorts of clay creations together

It was peaceful and there was no Valentines being forced down on you

You giggled when he showed you the clay heart he made

"we should make this our thing, valentine's we do things like this together."

He agreed, happy to make Valentines whatever you wanted it to be

[nanakah]

about Ishigami, his growth and Miko's role

most people, myself included, thought at some point that Tsubame's rejection (or acceptance) could wrap up Ishigami's arc and even his past's flashbacks neatly, but Osaragi's arc suddenly revealing there was more to his relationship with Miko made me reflect more and think nah...if anything we're halfway there. It also showed glimpses of him already struggling to find his place in the world by quitting his clubs, even though he was successful at them and there was no Ootomo incident yet to undermine his self-image.

It seemed odd that despite everything he went through he still has his "hair=shield/averting eyes" theme going strong, but it makes sense if you consider even though Tsubame helped him see the way to be more accepting of people and cleared his name, his self-esteem still is super low. I spoke of this in my "sutera" meta, but to Ishigami, his life still has been a sucession of failures and almosts. At his core, he still hasn't fully opened up to people or learned to use his vulnerabilities to his advantage.

If I have grabbed your interest thus far, keep reading for more considerations!

Tsubame is kind to anyone and attempted to do good for him, but ultimately he was never fully himself around her, nor she tried/he alllowed her reaching out to the deepest parts of his insecurities. She doesn't show her own flaws to him either and to this day we get the feeling we don't know her well, just the best parts that Ishigami wanted to see. Kaguya, Miyuki and Chika contribute a lot in a sibling-like way, but there's a limit to how much Kaguya in particular can inspire him. Miko however, has scratched a little beneath the surface and has expressed an interest in helping him with that, even if he himself is still avoiding the topic. She's also more relatable to him in the sense that the rest of the stuco has a history of successes in their lives, while he was able to watch Miko's hardships and failures closely. Their panic attacks even look similar and they're always watching the other to provide backup (in a very roundabout way, at least before) when they happen.

While their personalities are fundamentally different, his arc and struggles remind me a lot of Miyamura from Horimiya and today, as I was musing on what is so different about them as of now, I believe it's how Miyamura didn't have a single *traumatic* mistake to get over, so he goes down his development road much faster. Putting it another way, it's ultimately that Ishigami hasn't yet learned to be kind to himself like Miyamura has through Hori. Like Shirogane and Kaguya are through themselves. In Miyamura's case, sympathizing with how Hori despite her strong exterior can be very fragile inside but still support him (fight for him, defend him, accept his true self, not judge him, hear him, make him feel good enough) made him feel compelled to grow stronger to protect her back.

Miko as she was at the beggining of the story couldn't provide Ishigami this sort of stability (and that's where Osaragi's "prettier story"/"you weren't there for him" reasoning fails) even if deep down she wanted to, but now after making many mistakes, learning from them and becoming more flexible, she absolutely can. Both Ishigami and Miko have deeply rooted issues that took them more than just each other to flesh out and develop, but they're very much the missing puzzle piece the other needs.

Miko still very much has room for growth as well, mainly concerning finding a middle ground between her "bad girl" and "good girl" personas that Ishigami can easily see through, as demonstrated by the consolation chapter. She tried being "bad", she attempted lying but was still saying half-truths, because her love of justice isn't just out of parental abandonment issues or loneliness - she does believe them sincerely. The moment Ishigami headpated her and shared genuine, spot-on words of concern and admiration (thus a hint of fondness), it was all over for her trying to keep up the love-warfare upper hand.

That's not actually new - Ishigami has always demonstrated he was able to see glimpses of her true self, be it teasing how she's an otaku or a closet pervert and such, he never fully bought the strait-laced image she aspired to make real. But it did take him being around her more to see she could be sweet to him and as he puts it, that smiling more is not a bad look on her. Miko says to Osaragi your true self only comes through interacting with others, so given how lonely she has always been (and how the one person close to her - Osaragi - was actually keeping things between them superficial because of her own problems), it's no surprise she's only finding out now who she is. Ishigami can help Miko find a better compromise of good/bad after both not following any rules at all for so long and recently learning that hard work can pay off. Miko immersing herself in his hobby will clash with her rigid study schedule sooner or later, and he'll know how to help her with that better than anyone else.

On the other hand, Ishigami's moral compass, romanticism (love for flowers, planing dates etc) and idealism aren't things he is proud of...yet. He protects himself with layers of cynism, especially in his first appearances, but he is always being contradictory and letting it slip how idealistic/pure he is at heart. He also is only now learning to like his outward image with things like fitness/studying and finding out it's not like he never cared about it - it's just that he was scared shitless of failure, thus never even tried hard in the first place to avoid being hurt. And as I have advocated for in the Sutera post, I expect Miko in some level to help him come to terms with seeing good in himself. Heck, even being able to game with her now and showing off how good he is and having her appreciate it is gonna do wonders to make him feel more "adequate". Tsubame's arc had a lot of him changing himself to become "better", but Miko on the other hand is trying to put herself in HIS shoes to maybe go "hey, I like you as you are. I'm trying to understand you more and put effort in for you".

Ishigami and Miko start out watching out for each other behind their backs - which instead of helping their relationship, drives them further apart because they think the other side is showing no appreciation. As the story progresses, they're slowly learning to make each other more aware of their support, and it is making them open up more in general.

They have a strong belief the other wants to be rescued and there is truth in that. Both want help and to be recognized for their efforts, but won't cry out for it. In the unplugged earbuds chapter Ishigami takes it upon himself to protect Miko's reputation in spite of himself, the election arc has him actually putting effort into the campaign just for the sake of protecting her and at first posing as a rival of hers to Shirogane only to reveal he's trying to "make Miko smile", he is constantly fending off men from interacting with her as protection (while also sounding jealous), he was way more protective of her when she was wearing that cast than needed and is now being able to openly headpat her and sounds almost like her "soothing sounds" from the days of yore lol Sure Tsubame seems like his start to becoming "a better man", but all the way back on the election, it was for Miko's sake that we first SEE him putting effort into *anything* without being coerced by anyone to take action.

And while it's more discreet compared to Ishigami's "white knight" attitude, Miko also tries hard to protect him - cheering him on during the sports festival race and wanting to console him before the stuco intervened, telling him he should study (but he thinks it's just nagging), christmas (which I'll elaborate bellow), making sure he was able to graduate middle school by actually confronting school staff and, of course, their very first meeting as recently revealed.

Many people hated the entirety of Osaragi's arc, but 232 gave very juicy info indeed. Ishigami's reason for supporting Miko from the shadows comes from admiration AND part gratitude for her attempting to talk to him and listen to what troubles him, and seeing they actually had a "falling out" argument was game changing.

He looks sad and troubled to have shut her down there, not simply angry, and so does she (there's tears in her eyes when her face is shown in the next page) - despite her black and white sense of justice at this point of the story, she still wanted to listen to him. And even after that outburst she still believed the rumors weren't real, unlike Osaragi sees it - otherwise she wouldn't have made the effort for him to be able to move on to high school. Why would she care, if she truly hated him and thought he was in the wrong?

If any further proof was needed at all that this info is important, I'm happy to say we have more. I noticed the Christmas stairs scene mirrors this exact falling out moment: "Go away"/"Suit yourself"

But this time Miko had already decided to change, had already seen the mess their relationship became the last time she did not reach out to him and thus already had their previous falling out in mind - meaning she decides to chase after him.

I don't like how the scanlations handled this scene because reading the japanese raws, my interpretation was that Miko was sounding "annoying" because she was still kinda drunk/unfiltered and freaking out when talking to Ishigami, not outright berating him like the Jaimini's box translation made it look like. She also sounds too angry after the fall, so I generally thought Viz's version (the panel shown above) was closer to the original.

"I always have to take care of you! You keep putting youself in danger. You can't make it on your own." is a better translation than Jaimini's, and also parallels better what Ishigami is often telling Miko as well (That she keeps putting herself in danger and that he has to be around to keep her in check). But with 232 in mind, I think it misses a nuance of the original line: "ほんとあんたは 私が居ないと危なっかしく駄目ね" - "Honto anta wa watashi ga inaito abunakkashiku dame ne" - while I'm a novice at japanese studies, gathering from what I can read and trying to get a feel of the whole sentence, it's closer to "So it really is dangerous to you if I'm not there/ It's no good if I'm not around you". You can take that as her being full of herself, which is the route Jaimini's goes ("You'd be screwed without me") but that's too hostile - Viz's got the spirit of wanting to protect him better, but the original has an implication that she has "tested not being there"/failed being there before (due to not fully siding with him in middle school) that's absent elsewhere.

IMO the reason Ishigami's "closed his eyes" arc is not over yet is because he hasn't accepted or gotten over or fully learned from his past yet, he simply shut it down. That's why briefly during the sports festival his eyes are in plain view, then go back to their usual for the balloon gag. I'm not sure if Ootomo herself will make a comeback, may or may not - regrets are regrets and sometimes the only solution to them is letting them stay in the past. But the topic of how he saw Miko in middle school and the letter certainly are being set up to still show up in the story.

If I compare him to Miyamura again, he'd still be at the point before Miyamura's haircut - not wanting to face the parts of himself he doesn't like, not quite ready to change. Not quite ready to patch up his own wounds yet and instead silencing everything from his past.

In this sense, Miko does wonders to make him feel more confident even if he hasn't realized it yet, and she's always dropping little hints she'd like him to worry about his future not in a naggy way, but because she genuinely prays for his success. He unconsciously wants Miko to think well of him and it fills him with confidence and a more prideful image of himself he doesn't really display to anyone else, not even Tsubame - like his usages of "ore" (a more manly/confident way of addressing himself) around her (AND HER ALONE):

( I don't like the available translations to the staircase scene either, lol. Zaibatsu has conveyed the tone of the second scene up there perfectly. For the staircase line, I've seen "I'll be there to catch you" and "I'll save you" which are contextually correct, but to me the original "俺が絶対守る" - "I (ore) will absolutely protect you" carries a much more romantic nuance or ambiguity, regardless of him realizing it at that point. It's like, the title to one of the most romantic moments/songs in the CCS Clear card anime ost, for instance. OF COURSE MIKO LOVES HIM. The narrator doesn't overexplain or take apart Ishimiko's interactions like for Prezguya, but all the evidence needed is there. And I gotta add the very next chapter to the staircase one is the "eternal love" x "real love" I'm super fond of that says fate is irrelevant and to find real love you must use your head to realize/understand things, so makes the romantic subtext even greater.)

This whole affair is also making me open my eyes that I should try to study japanese more...of course I'm happy to have translations and scanlators working hard, but there is something inherently lost in adaptations because it robs you of connecting with the author's intentions unless it was the author who wrote the translation in the first place

Thinking back on Ishigami's early "i wanna die/i'm going home/don't look at me" role, it seems unbelievable we're at the point he's now able to directly confront a "stranger" (lololol) or make serious promises with so much confidence.

PLEASE DON'T END SO SOON MANGA, I NEED MORE.

( off-topic kind of, but i'm lazy to make a separate post just for it: Since I mentioned things lost in translation, I saw something on Discord about Ishigami having an unreliable narrator moment in the "compliments" chapter/Iino Miko cannot love part 4 and holy molly, it is true. He first says something akin to "You're just too beautiful" out of context, Miko HEARS IT - and that's why she looks so shocked before asking for clarification - and he DID SAY IT in the speech bubble, but after she's nice to him and he thinks back to what he said he adds a "Your handwriting is just too beautiful" to his flashback. I'm ONTO HIM. ONTO HIM I SAY. It is what he meant, but it's like his mouth betrayed him. Whether it's unconscious or denial...it totally is something. The scanlation completely skips this and had the same line both times it's mentioned.)

[gagmebucky]

hiiii i wrote this awhile ago but took it down because i was 👉🏼👈🏼 embarrassed about it (because i do not have the skill to pull off peter parker) and sorta still am but everyone’s been so nice to me about it i thought the best way to repay the kindness by posting it for those who did like it 😅 (originally inspired by spider man 2 with andrew garfield but loosely set in the 2018 issue of the amazing spider-man.)

in which the guys are making fun of peter and accidentally see a video of him fucking you. (includes avenger!peter x girlfriend!you, peter’s pov, voyeur!steve and voyeur!bucky, a sex tape featuring d/s dynamics, bondage, praise kink, exhibitionism, unprotected sex.) 

do not repost.

—

Despite being twenty-one years old; a proper adult who lives with his high school sweetheart, a photographer doubling as a seven-year veteran vigilante in the dangers of New York, Peter Parker is still considered as a super-powered amateur to his seasoned peers. 

Nonetheless, given his success in countless battles in the state, country, world and even galaxy-wide, he more than qualifies to hold the title of Avenger; it’s official now. A laid-back induction ceremony and his very own identity card: a sturdy rectangle, shiny with full clearance and all. Yet, as an official member, his teammates still treat him like he’s that same goofy, out-of-his-depths sixteen year old.

To be fair, yes, his style of heroism isn’t the most serious. He favors levity in the face of danger, a cheeky flare with smart quips and an infuriating grin. Even after taking a beating from the worst of foes, his demeanor never wavers because in the end, he wins. The villains are slayed and the people are saved, even comforted by the boyishly confident way he works. 

But beyond that persona, he has grown into a skilled warrior. On that note, he wants to be regarded as such—at least, to a certain extent. The jokes and teasing, poking fun at his age or the shenanigans he gets himself into, don’t bother him. No, his playful wit handles it with relative ease, and he’s a good sport about it. The only thing that he’d want to see change is some recognition that he isn’t a naïve kid anymore and is fully capable of taking charge when needed.

With his recent acceptance into the gifted pantheon, he’s intent on making that known. The jesting can continue but he wants it to be with an understanding of his capabilities. Luckily, a perfect opportunity has presented itself to showcase his abilities: a training session. 

He’s late. And yes, he knows that’s probably not a good impression to make.

In his own defense, it isn’t technically his fault. He forgot that you, his personal alarm clock (amongst other things), left early this morning because you volunteered to help his aunt move. Four years of mornings and nights, he’s gotten used to—and prefers—your languorous wake-up call.

Without your reminder, he regains consciousness fifteen minutes after the scheduled time and ends up scrambling to the compound. In a flurry, he throws on his suit—unknowingly backwards, he realizes later—trips at least three times over his own footing before he finally springs out of the balcony with webbed bursts.

When he reaches his destination, Captain America and the Winter Soldier are unimpressed; mid-simulation, it powers down. Both super-soldiers whirl around to face him, fixing raised eyebrows at his disheveled arrival.

He adjusts his now front-facing suit and shuffles forward into the space with as much confidence as an interrupter can have. “H - hey, guys,” Peter greets sheepishly and manages what he hopes is a charming smile, absentmindedly fidgeting with his phone. “Lookin’ good for a couple of geezers.” 

Unfortunately, Steve Rogers is not charmed or disillusioned from the tardiness. “You’re late, Parker.” His arms fold, and he shakes his head when punctuating his disapproval with an echoing, “Again.” 

Thankfully, to his right, more relaxed and cool, Bucky Barnes steps up. “C’mon, Stevie. Y’can’t be that surprised,” he chimes in matter of factly, contrasting against his friend with amusement sparkling in his blue eyes. “What’d you expect with Parker?” He gestures at the younger superhero. “Kid’s gonna be late to his own wedding.”

(Beside the point, but worth noting, he will not be late to meeting you at the altar. That is, of course, if you accept when he pops the question. Which is going to happen relatively soon, considering he has the ring in his nightstand drawer.)

The consult seems to relax him. “Yeah, I guess you’re right and—Peter, you—seriously, man?!” Steve sputters the last bit when he glanced over to see him blatantly check the notification that’s vibrated in his hand (on the device that is ruled to be stowed away during training). “Now the phone?!” 

Even though he shouldn’t, being on thin ice with Cap and all (pun not intended), Peter’s gaze flickers down to see your contact name appear on the screen, and he can’t resist. While Bucky guffaws a laugh at his audacity, he’s swiping up to pull up your text thread. 

> you 😛❤️🥰, 10:37AM: spider boyyyyy you’ll never guess what i found in a box labeled ‘peter’s junk’ ;;;)

peter, 10:37AM: those magazines are NOT mine and i don’t know how they got there.

> you 😛❤️🥰, 10:38AM: not quite but close, naughty boy

> you 😛❤️🥰, 10:38AM: for a man who depends on keeping secrets and a penchant for home movies, you might ought to keep a lock on your phone unless you want someone to see me like this...

> you 😛❤️🥰, 10:38AM: (video attached)

Immediately, he recognizes the pornographic thumbnail. One glance, and he’s remembering the first couple of times you guys explored the exhibitionism side of things. It was at the end of his freshman year of college and taped on a phone he thought he had lost. But he must've forgotten it at his aunt’s house, and she tossed it in the box until you came along. 

Although there’s been plenty more made, he recalls that one being a shared favorite, his especially. When long-distance duty calls, it was his go-to media. The angles, your face and body beneath the lights, the sounds it caught, you once asked if he considered switching to cinematography instead of photographer

Subconsciously, his teeth run over his bottom lip, feeling that blazing spark of desire igniting in the pit of his gut, partially at the memory and partially at what’ll happen once you guys can re-watch it together; his thumbs start typing away with that message.

“Peter!” Steve’s exasperated voice snaps, but to no avail—the real gall of the youngster, or the effect of you. His weight shifts toward his best friend, and he nudges him with his elbow. “Kids these days!” The hundred-something year old’s gaze cocks a brow back over. “Is that why you were late? Blowing off training to text your girlfriend?”

The text delivers with an audible bloop. Finally, his concentration gives, and he can look up, though his expression is clueless from the last minute. “Huh?” His brain registers what he missed, and he winces. “Sorry, Cap. My bad.”

Bucky chuckles. “Give him a break, Steve,” he faux comes to his defense, a teasing quality underlying his tone. “He’s young and in love. It’s not his fault he’s pussy-whipped.” He cracks him an antagonizing grin as Peter rolls his eyes. “He can’t go an hour without sending those little weird pictures with heart eyes, or she might not know he’s thinking about her.”

“As if you know anything about romance, old man,” he fires back and presses past them with squared shoulders, correcting him quite seriously: “And they’re called emojis, by the way. But that’s not what I was doing, if you want to know so bad.”

The brunette tilts his head thoughtfully, and small hackles arise for reasons he doesn’t understand, or pay attention to. “You know, I do want to know really badly,” Bucky decides and poses a question to his left, “Wouldn’t you, too, Steve? Aren’t you curious what his girlfriend sent that was so much more important than training?”

The blond mimics his actions and clicks his tongue. “Yeah, I am.” 

Peter’s eyebrows pinch while his skin tingles and the hair on the back of his neck stands straight up. “What—” Before his senses process it, one of the super-soldiers plucks his phone out of his hands and darts back beside his best friend. His jaw drops as he tries to follow after him. “Bucky, you asshole—”

“Some spidey senses, huh?” The Winter Soldier lifts it high over his head, utilizing his six-foot stature against his five-ten like elementary school bullies do and older siblings to their juniors. “Haven’t ‘cha heard about sharing with the class?” He laughs and practically stiff-arms him to squint up at the screen. “Aw, he can’t wait to see her. What’s it been, more than two hours since you two saw each other last?” 

Conceding to the height difference, Peter stops his physical efforts and diverts it to someone reasonable. “Cap, you gonna help me out here?” he addresses the entertained onlooker in the most friendly voice he can manage. 

“The kid’s got separate anxiety not just from his girlfriend but phone too, Buck,” Steve drawls with a lopsided curve of his lips. He side-steps Peter to stand next to Bucky, and for a second, he thinks he’s on his side despite the tease, but he simply adds a stern, “So be careful. You don’t want to break it, or Parker will have a fit.”

Peter crosses his arms and scowls. “Ha, ha,” he retorts dryly, only somewhat amused by their banter. He tilts his head up at them, and the duo look thoroughly pleased with themselves. “You know, you guys are kind of dicks.”

“No, we’re your mentors, kid,” Steve corrects with a wink and rests his arm on his friend’s shoulder. “This is a lesson. No phones—” He jabs his thumb back in reference to the device’s unlocked screen: “—when you’re supposed to be training.” 

“Yeah,” Bucky chimes in upon glancing up from his phone. “And a little advice, women don’t like clinginess. Try being a little more stern and see how that works for you. If you’re able to manage that. But I won’t hold it against ya if you can’t.”

“Uh-huh,” Peter patronizes with a bob of his head, biting back a response pointing out the hundred-something year old’s inexperience. Instead, he focuses on the electronic readily loaded up with some private content. With that, he decides to do the rational and mature thing and ask nicely. “Noted. So, uh, can I have my phone back now?” 

To his shock, Bucky merely flashes a smirk and his thumb scrolls half-heartedly over the thread. Thereafter, he leans toward Steve and raises his cell for him to see. “Oh, look, it’s a video,” he teases. “What could Y/N send that would take priority of training?” 

There’s an unspoken let’s see then a metal finger taps the play button. Before Peter can think, much less react, Captain American and the Winter Soldier are watching how he effortlessly renders his pretty little girlfriend into a cute nonsensical yet eager mess— 

In his point-of-view shot, the ratio holds in portrait view in a bid to capture every bit of you. Above you, the camera focuses on you and your beautifully debauched state beneath warm lighting where it’s unalienable that the camera was made for you. 

Your eyes are dilated brightly, desperate with desire as your lashes flutter up at him. A sheen coats your features and glistens like glitter at the highest points of your face while the shape of your face is framed by your stretched arms. 

Your wrists are bound over your head, splotched with expertly sprayed strong, white webs. The mesh sticks them together in a criss-cross, comfortable but nearly impossible to break out of, fixed in place atop his headboard. The tautness tugs a mild strain on your figure so your breasts are jutting out like an offering, and it’s obvious he’s taken advantage of it. Darkened marks adorn your glowing complexion, peppered across your décolletage with imprints of his teeth; including your nipples, sucked swollen and tender. 

The angle trails down until it reveals the sight of him mercilessly pounding inside of you. His better-than-average girth is sliding in and out of your tight channel; slicked in shared translucent essence, creaming around the base, your inner walls visibly clinging to his cock with every backward stroke. His hand splays on your mound, using his thumb to abuse your engorged clit. He easily keeps the sensitive nub pinned under his control despite your wildly twisting hips. 

Like the display, the soundtrack is equally obscene. Loud, your stuffed depths gush and squelch as skin slaps rhythmically. Your breathy, wanton moans overshadow both, drawn out whimpers, almost nonsensical other than the syllable of his name. A melody of neediness, you sound so fucking pretty, (depraved, like a whore, you once told him during your little film marathon with a sly smile), and for him specifically.

The frame pans upward and confirms you look just as good. A perfect mess, unhinged by the skilled ministrations of your boyfriend. Passion beads on your forehead like reflections off of a diamond. Panting, your lips are plumped from kissing parted with mewls of pleasure. 

“P - please—I need to—can I - I please—” You’re begging like the sweet little thing you are, incoherent babbling the result of his excessive edging. Of course, you know better than to give into the sensations ravaging you; instead you ignore your visceral desire and ask him for your release. “Peter, please!” 

A deep chuckle vibrates behind the camera as his big hand slides into view, trailing over your jiggling tits to the slope of your throat. “Maybe,” he says breathily and grasps the line of your jaw between his fingers. “Open your mouth first, babe.” 

No more preamble necessary, you follow his direction, your pink tongue flat over your Cupid’s bow. Immediately, a long string of his saliva drips into view and onto your taste buds; the vulgar act is accepted with a swallow and a quivering moan of, “T - thank you.” 

“Good girl,” he praises huskily, and the voiced approval has you visibly shivering. “Alright, then, pretty girl. Make it good for me, and c’mon—”

Before your otherworldly reckoning washes over you and his teammates can watch your bliss immortalized in film, Peter snatches his property back. 

Not much force is necessary as Bucky’s grip has been stunned loose. A dark expression permeates on young hero’s face but not because of embarrassment; if he was still nineteen or eighteen, he would’ve been mortified that his titular superiors caught a depraved glimpse of his sex life, on both his and your behalf. Rather than, there’s just a flit of annoyance when he folds his arms.

“Shit,” Bucky is the first to speak, exhaling the swear raggedly. His blue pupils have widened in obvious attraction, dilated dark, blinking rapidly as if it’ll help calm him down from the clip of you, his innocent seeming girlfriend, all ruined and begging. “Parker, fuck, I - I didn’t know you got down like that.” 

There’s a swell in his chest, pride beating steadily while he remains reticent-faced. He prefers you keep your bedroom activities secluded there. Yeah, he likes to be in control and you like to be controlled but it’s only in a sexual nature. Yet, their reactions—stunned, embarrassed and viscerally affected—surges smug satisfaction he’s never known before through his veins. 

Even the prestigious Captain America is bothered, though he may try to hide it. He clears his throat, a flustered pink coloring his cheeks. “Peter, uh,” he says, barely maintaining the confidence to look him in the eye after witnessing his girlfriend like that. “We - we shouldn’t have invaded your privacy like that.” 

“Uh-huh,” is Peter’s response, a hint of a smirk curling on one side of his lips. “Why don’t you guys call me after you’re finished with your cold showers, and we can actually train. Until then, I’m gonna go to my girl who’s more than eager to handle mine.” He pauses. “Maybe if you guys ask nice enough, I might let her show you how well I’ve trained her.”

[slimesidian]

I noticed on Slime's Wormman art that their Zed had robot parts, plus it was mentioned that Zed occasionally joined in on Hermit Debug week as of recent, so when/how did Zed get these robot parts? Or just give Zed headcanons in general! :P

I was actually really really hoping somebody would notice that I gave Zed little robotic face plates so first, thank you for noticing my lidl details :D. Secondly I’m gonna just ramble bout my Zedaph headcanons because oh boy oh boy do I have….a lot. This will tie into my Team ZITS backstory headcanons by the way, as this is Zed’s part of the story. I’ll cover Tango’s if I ever get asked about it don’t worry.

-Mod Slime

Origin

Zed, like Mumbo, is a robot. Now, the thing about this is Zed doesn’t actually know this. He and Mumbo are similar in a lot of their design, actually, as they were made by the same person, Zed being made after Mumbo. The biggest difference is Mumbo was scrapped early, so he was fully aware he was a robot, but Zed was fully finished and thus had this knowledge hidden from him. Zed isn’t a Redstone robot in the same way that Mumbo is.

When he first woke up, he was alone in a survival world, or, he thought he was alone. The only friend he had for a while was a little brown sheep that he met in his first few minutes of proper existence. He didn’t even really know who or what he was at this time, and was actually just walking around shirtless for a while. 

He was eventually found and given shelter by another Player, which, he didn’t think there were other Players in this world. Turns out, said Player is Skizz. He lets Zed stay with him and asks about his life, and Zed admits that he knows… nothing about his life. He has no memory of anything before this world, and Skizz assumes maybe it was a glitch or something when Zed spawned in. Whatever the case, at least he has a roof over his head now.

At some point, the two gently shear the sheep Zed had found, and used the wool to create Zed’s sweater, the buttons ended up being a bunch of mix matched colors and shapes, but Zed likes it.

Eventually, the two go to the End and find Impulse. Zed can quickly detect that Impulse is speaking Galactic and begins translating so Skizz can understand what he’s saying.

(From this point, everything lines up with the Impulse headcanons I gave a while ago.)

Moonlight SMP

While in Moonlight SMP, Zed created a superhero alter ego, aka Wormman. He would supposedly retire this persona for a few years. This comes back later which is why I mention it now.

Hermitcraft Backstory

When Zed showed up on Hermitcraft, he traveled by portal. There was an accidental glitch and… well Wormman manifested. 

Zed pretty much just kinda chills until he inevitably does meet Wormman, and is very confused by the fact that his alter ego is his own person. He rolls with it though, and just kind of accepts that yeah Wormman exists

Also Zed can split timelines. Nobody ever really discusses this fact, but he did do this once in S5. 

Nothing truly eventful happens to Zed in season 5, at least, in terms of backstory, but Wormman on the other hand, is left in the S5 world after the world ends. This is awful because the S5 world is basically cursed and got completely overtaken by the jungle, which means Wormman… yeah you can figure out what happened. 

He gets out though! He kinda… lost his soul, and got possessed by death due to this. Thus Zedeath was born. When he showed up on Hermitcraft 6, Zed did not realize that Zedeath is the same person as Wormman

Again there isn’t really anything backstory wise that’s too important until S7 because that’s when Zed accidentally learns that he is a robot. 

He glitched one day in the first half of the season(probably around November), didn’t entirely know why. He calls Tango over to help, since Tango can access the code, and Tango can’t entirely figure out what’s wrong. He calls Impulse over, and Impulse recognizes that Zed’s code is extremely similar to Mumbo’s, almost identical.

This leads the two of them to realizing Zed is a robot. Now how do they prove that this is true? Well, they remember that Mumbo’s synthetic skin came off when he tried out the uh… I don’t remember the name of it but the spookificating thing that was in the Shopping District.

So Zed pretty much goes into that, and when he comes out it is revealed that he is in fact a robot, and he looks almost identical to Mumbo in basic design(like the chest cavity, the location of the metallic plates, etc…). Zed basically has a breakdown about this because he doesn’t know if his feelings are real or not. 

He ends up asking Mumbo how he copes with the fact that he’s a robot, and they kinda have a sweet little heart to heart about it, and Zed comes out of it being mostly comfortable with the fact he’s a robot. He gets new synthetic skin, but he leaves certain areas uncovered so he can see the metallic bits. He wants to love that part of himself.

This is around the time that Zed starts taking part of the debug weeks. 

And this is basically all for the in universe “lore” stuff. Other important thing is that Wormman/Zedeath has been using Zed’s Void hole to reach Ex in the Void.

General/Other

Zed has pointy ears, he doesn’t know why he was designed with them, but he honestly doesn’t mind. For the longest time it made him think maybe he was some kind of hybrid.

Zed’s eyes glow purple, and so does his robot chest cavity. He doesn’t really know what causes it to glow purple

Zed, being a robot, has a very close relationship with any contraption or mechanism he builds, especially after he learns he’s a robot. 

He doesn’t actually need sleep, which is why the other Hermits won’t really try to force him to sleep the same way they will with Impulse and Tango. 

Being a robot means that Zed can’t handle the Void without dying particularly faster than other Hermits(again save for Mumbo because robots :D). 

Zed is chubby. Fight me. 

His hair is really soft

Wormman/Zedeath Headcanons

Wormman is a clone of Zedaph’s memories, not Zedaph himself. As in, Wormman is not a robot, where as Zed is. Wormman is memories from when Zed thought he was an organic being rather than mechanical. Wormman has every memory that was created while Zed wore the costume. This actually means Wormman has two birthdays, but he considers his true birthday to be the day he became his own person, rather than, when Zed first wore the costume. 

Zedeath and Wormman are the same person. Wormman is technically soulless after being abandoned in season 5 and things….happening to him. He could never really die, though, and the closest he came to death accidentally turned him into Zedeath, which is why his first (and only) s6 appearance was as Zedeath instead of Wormman.

Wormman currently resides under the server with Evil Xisuma/Abyss. Wormman had talked to him at some point in S6 while he was still Zedeath, and even then Abyss probably realized who he was. Since then, Wormman built a platform under Zed's base, and there he and Abyss live. It's not much, just the two of them. Although BadTimes vomits occasionally.

Zedeath no longer really comes around. Maybe it's because whatever caused him to exist moved on to Ren during Demise, maybe he came back and Wormman just doesn’t know.

Zedeath isn’t even that scary, he’s just a mischievous soul(or lack there of)

[m0e-ru]

eight months in somebody actually asked me abt visualive instead of me immediately annoying ppl about it without former notice. I might actually write properly for once 😳😳😳

OK OK!!!!! In this essay I will.... I will.... Visualive Adachi.... Visu/BURSTS INTO TEARS/

OKAY OKAY for real I just care Visualive so much (as someone who can’t fully understand Japanese AHAHA)

First I’ll add some foundation about what Visualive really is, then I talk abt Adachi in the latter parts of it because this is technically the first time I’m properly talking about this hehe 🐿

T....table of contents???

Visualive

Visualive the Evolution

Masami Itou

Visualive Adachi

Visualive the Evolution Adachi

Terms and Legend

VL - Visualive

VLE - Visualive the Evolution

stage - shortened for “stageplay”

面白い - omoshiroi (it’s just that specific)

Yuuya - VL Hero name

Hayato - VLE Hero name

Baba - Hero

Masami - Adachi

Taniguchi - Dojima

Saotome - Daisuke

Mamiya - Izanami

I add honorifics but sometimes I forget the hyphen intentionally or unintentionally I’m sorry if it makes it hard to read lol

all links have automatic timestamps for easy viewing. i mean. i hope the timestamps work

VISUALIVE “Persona 4.” A stage adaptation of SMT: Persona 4 by Atlus. It adapts the first part of the story, from the hero’s arrival to after recovering Mitsuo Kubo from the TV world. It also ends on a cliff hanger, showing a teaser of Shadow Naoto being projected on the screen.

It takes up a speedy recapitulation of the hero’s spring life, before slowing down and showing in depth his school life in summer. A day before Morooka-sensei’s death, there is a little skit with Kou, Daisuke and Adachi. The hero walks into the conversation before the two other boys leaving, and Morooka-sensei walking in on the student and detective. The next day follow’s the teacher’s death and the Investigation Team (IT) begin investigating their new lead.

From the words “visual” and “alive,” the niche of this stage was meant to be the fusion of live acting and visual digital projections. All seen from the stageplay with the colorful cast of actors and CG animations being projected on the screen. This offers an opportunity for characters to summon their personas, perform cool visual effects, change the backdrop, or even confront their own Shadows.

Performed in Sunshine Theater from the 15th to the 20th of March 2012. The screenplay was written and directed by Shintaro Asanuma from the theatrical group “bpm.” The video production produced by Shutaro Oku, a film director and visual planner. He later takes over as director for VISUALIVE THE EVOLUTION, the sequel stage. The stage music was produced by Shunsuke Wada, with a special show exclusive vocal track sung by Shihoko Hirata.

On this note, I haven’t seen any sort of original soundtrack released for any of the stages and I’m SO SAD. The last song in Mitsuo’s boss fight was such a BANGER and literally EVERYTHING ELSE Marvelous, Wadasan please take my MONEY

Regarding the cast, there were some special accommodations for Teddie, Rise, and Nanako, all of which did not have live actors at the time. During the casting, actors for the three characters could not be found or simply left the directors unsatisfied they couldn’t cast anybody. An exception for Rise, who was able to have a live actor in the sequel stage. It has been stated that there weren’t any “pretty boy” actors that fit the “Teddie Criteria.” While there weren’t any child actors that were believed to portray Nanako well.

Teddie was only ever seen in his bear costume while Rise was busy talking through a call, all voiced by their video game cast. Nanako has never appeared on stage, only being scarcely mentioned in the script. Again, this is different in the sequel stage where her role was extremely important and was shown as a screen projection.

VISUALIVE “Persona 4” THE EVOLUTION. A sequel stage. Beginning abruptly in the middle of Shadow Naoto’s boss fight, the story continues from there until the “true end” of the game’s original story. *Certain characters are introduced while others have been reintroduced. And on a personal note, when it’s all comedic in the beginning, it’s all for what’s coming right after.

I don’t know if I’m salty or just find it really funny AHAHA I might go talk abt it some other day with more context ehehe

Performed in The Galaxy Theater from the 3rd to the 9th of October 2012, only a few months after the PSVITA Persona 4 Golden release, which is July 2012. The screenplay was now written by Jun Kumagi while directed by Shutaro Oku. And music production finally taken over by Shoji Meguro himself.

---

HAHAHA this is starting to look like a wiki page. moving on. I might start rambling rn

(warning LONG !!!! aaa,,)

My thoughts on the stage adaptations. For the first Visualive (VL) I believe it’s pretty close to canon! I enjoy the characterization and how much love and care was present when handling the entire production.

Actors were busy playing the game itself, wherein a PS2 was present in the practice room. Along with magazines and game guides explaining the game’s story and the characters itself. Actors performing together and even improv acting together to get a grasp of their characters. All of them knowing well of Persona 4 as a well loved game, delicately handling their characters and hopefully performing them right while making the audience happy.

The staff taking care of each other while the director and video producer, Asanuma-san and Oku-san, working together well to make their vision into a reality.

The same thing happened with VL the Evolution (VLE) and literally every other good stage. Except... I feel the script kinda got out of hand with too much liberty where it feels a bit more disconnected from canon. But! It makes up for it in its content, whether comedic or (INCREDIBLY) dramatic! It’s great as its own story at that point. So in this case, I like to take the first VL and get to connect it canon, while I don’t know what the hell happened in VLE to the point I’ll just enjoy it as its own content.

These opinions deserve its own essay, post whatever bc I have SO much to say abt this. ANYWAY. VL ADACHI

---

Tohru Adachi is portrayed by Masami Itou (伊藤マサミ), a screenplay writer, director and an stage actor himself. He does have a single character voice role along with a fellow troupe member in the same franchise, but mostly works as the former three. He is part of Asanuma-san’s entertainment group “bpm.” On a similar note, Masashi Taniguchi, Dojima’s actor, was also part of their group from 2011 to 2016, which may explain their good synergy as the boss and the bumbling fool dynamic. I mean, somebody’s gotta get hit in the head every few skits.

With Masami-san being an important part of the cast, he doesn’t appear as often as Taniguchi-san in backstage content like the VL bonus disk or the official blog. Mentioned in his own personal blog, he had been busy with his roles as assistant director (I am assuming also for VL).

Also fun to note, because his role is mainly comic relief, he has been using his liberty to change up the material almost everyday making each performance exciting. This also leaves some other actors jealous of his freedom in his role, such as Saotome-san, Daisuke’s actor.

---

VL Adachi really has a... how do I say this? an adorable speech pattern (THE SAME SPEECH PATTERN THAT DROVE ME MAD TRYING TO DECIPHER I THOUGHT YOU WERE A CITY BOY OSSU OSSU MY ASS /shakes you violently/). Overall, he really fits the loose lipped bumbling fool, and his accent really makes him seem more casual and invested. What I’m saying is... VL Adachi either actually has genuine empathy or he actually has more energy to fake it (compared to some other edgelord. i mean you saw my p4ga analysis. I’m sick of him lol ahaha).

One of my favorite ways to explain this (OTHER THAN CHAIR CAR ADVENTURE MY BELOVED WE’LL GET TO THAT LATER) is the rice field scene with him and Dojima. It’s overanalyzation time 🎉

(43:04)

While investigating, Adachi whines about being tired while Dojima smacks him in the head. In this case, it’s established that Adachi doesn’t want to be there, yes? It’s the country, it’s hot and it smells like green.

"Ah... Dojima-san..! Why don't we take a break? (...) There really is nothing out here... Is the criminal still even here at all? (...) I wonder if I've passed being a rookie yet. Haha, but this city doesn't even have convenient transportation. I can't go to leisure lands (recreation, amusement parks, arcades, ect.) and head home at all."

Adachi then tries to tell Dojima a story. “when I got to this city after being newly assigned, I met an interesting guy (...) Yeah, I remember that the cherry blossoms haven't bloomed yet. So, I was driving my car and got near the station and--” Dojima gets a phone call.

Adachi politely puts his hands down waiting for his boss to finish so he can finish the story. Again and again, Adachi attempts to talk to Dojima about a story he’s so persistent trying to tell someone about. It was so 面白い that he would find someone to talk to about it. Even being polite and patient enough to wait for a chance to speak. He even gets fed up with it and blows up in front of his boss, clearly irritated he’s not given a chance to talk.

Sure, it could be Adachi feeling fed up like a normal person where someone agreed he to listen to him, before being constantly ignored. Or Adachi trying to be a more annoying whiny brat, depending on where you look at it.

If the story wasn’t too “interesting” to Adachi, he would’ve just brushed it off and stopped talking to Dojima entirely, or start up new small talk, or even complain some more. But no, he had a story he wanted to voice out so bad that he got irritated that the one person in the vicinity couldn’t listen to him.

Only after Dojima told him to continue their investigation elsewhere did Adachi finally stop and focus on something else. Maybe that story was for another day, or maybe it was never meant to be told.

What if it was just original (game) Adachi? He’d find a way to squirrel out of the investigation as usual, or push Dojima to “investigate” elsewhere. “Hey boss, don’t you think it’s hot? Why don’t we go elsewhere? We’ve seen this place too many times to count and I doubt anything new’ll turn up. How about we take a break at Junes, y’know? Where it’s cool? C’mon boss,” something like that.

og Adachi is just really annoying and silly to me. Some grown man thinking he can freeload because he never gets anything out of putting in more energy and effort? I don’t care how tall he is, I will smack him in the head.

Yeah VL Adachi whines, too, but at least it doesn’t look like he’s going to escape and waste his time somewhere else. He just sucks it up stops trying to leave the situation.

Or maybe I’m getting this all wrong and VL is exactly the same and my rage just gets dampened because of Masamisan’s execution of character hmm...

SO. What was his story about anyway? The one he really wanted to share to Dojima?

I mean... it’s obvious enough

First day in town? Spring? Actually mentioned driving a car when literally out of every single persona 4 media at the time was there not a SINGLE mention of Adachi having a car OTHER THAN the same stageplay it’s being mentioned in?

A story, from somewhere around uhh four? five months ago? was something that he remembered so dearly and was willing to share despite it obviously embarrassing him even if he puts the blame on a certain somebody in the same story?

Or maybe it’s because he really had nothing to talk about ever since he realized all his stories from the city weren’t actually that funny or interesting in the first place.

BUT then that would mean out of all the things he could talk about—more whining, complaining, complimenting, small talk—he insisted about talking about this story in particular.

Okay, look. I’m just. Just. As someone who talks too much, of course I have things I actually want people to hear out of all the bullshit that comes out of my mouth. And if the thing I actually want people to listen to doesn’t even get heard, I’d go mad.

Sure, Adachi’d be fine when his complaints or intentionally unfunny jokes get brushed off. But a story of a guy that he thought was so funny, interesting, 面白い gets ignored, he really blew up, even just for a split second, maybe.

And ALL the things that happened in that story—on his first day in Inaba! His car got dented, he had to deal with a weirdo dumbass employee that knew zero personal space, yelled in his ear, who didn’t know how to do their job, got his station reputation messed up on the first day, got his ass grabbed, got (unintentionally?) mocked for his lame stories, and got his car dented for the SECOND time. Probably MORE

And he STILL wanted to talk about it /punches through concrete wall/

yes I’m overthinking about this of course i am

This little tidbit of VL Adachi kinda makes me go insane sometimes—his entire characterization in VL in particular. It was really refreshing to see and how they included both of his characters in it, his facade and how irritated he is of a lot of things underneath. And how flexible his character is immediately working with other characters when there’s sudden improv to balance the situation. Like him and Dojima, Morooka, the attendant, or even Yuuya (hero) himself.

I’ll take Taniguchi-san’s messing around in the VL bonus backstage disc in place of Masami-san being so busy he couldn’t appear in it as often as other characters.

For stagetime that lasted for fifteen minutes or less, my appreciation for VL Adachi, even if he was just comic relief, really rocketed. I say VL, bc Adachi the edgelord he’s supposed to be in literally every other media is something I analyze separately.

I haven’t even gotten to VLE oh my GODDDDD

Like I said, I don’t really regard VLE close to canon but as something to be appreciated for what it is by itself. But the way Adachi was characterized there, in or out of character, still struck me.

---

Yes, there was his strange fan-agreed-canon which is,,, now canon obsession with cabbages (not that that’s a bad thing lmao). There was also him being a lot more jumpy and intimate in a clowny way, patting people on the shoulder or even downright hugging them just to mess around. Even FORGETTING who the same goddam loser who grabbed his ass almost a year ago is. But like, can’t blame him they literally changed their actor (and screenplay writer) AHAHAHA

ha... no more comedy, only dorky sword fights now

(speaking of sword fights I think it’s a fun thought how Mamiya-san [Izanami, also one of the youngest in the cast] admitted it was his first time doing sword fight choreography and even thanked Masami-san and other staff members for guiding him)

One thing unintentionally in character was Adachi accidentally nabbing the sushi overdosed in wasabi. Masami-san didn’t actually account for a joke sushi and didn’t immediately eat it—until Taniguchi-san (who also made Dojima go off his shits compared to VL) jokingly yelled at him and even riled up the audience for him to eat it. He even went off stage to get water just for him to eat the goddam sushi.

And Masami-san did! (kinda choked, but he’s fine).

Continuing from the same scene, while being overly giddy about sushi dinner (and I mean overly--he was singing about it while hopping to the Dojima residence), he tried to remind the two, Dojima and Hayato (hero), that Nanako was sleeping. Probably where she was sick if the scene was translated from the game.

(30:07)

And... the dramatic parts of VLE

Adachi was the one who reported to the IT that Dojima was chasing Namatame in the rain. While Naoto was discussing Namatame’s journal entries, Adachi, as giddy as he is, took it from Naoto’s hands and reveled in the discovery of evidence so childishly(?). He even ran to Dojima when he began regaining consciousness and immediately called the nurses to help him wheel Dojima to the ER.

Then, The Hospital Scene™️, right after Nanako flatlines.

(1:02:02)

Adachi, who recently walked into the scene, immediately worries about Dojima and IT who were ALL crying. He looks down, devastated—before yelling how Dojima’s heading to Namatame’s room.

He yells in terror and the same grief at his injured boss, all while running past and even jumping over children, who fell to the ground sobbing, to get to him. He continues yelling in a pained fashion while immediately reprimanding Dojima to stop. He gets carried by the collar before being tossed to the ground at Hayato’s feet, all while being pat by the same boy.

Dojima makes his speech about how unfair it is for the ‘killer’ to be alive when his daughter isn’t. When he finally falls to his knees, Adachi rises from the ground, humbly saying he’ll do his best to take care of Dojima (or something like that I’m in tears I literally can’t do VLE’s hospital scene i h8 this). He finally starts crying along with everyone else, being pushed away again but still tries again, trying to usher his boss away from the door.

With the help of the guard in front of the door, they all disappear off stage

please... I know this scene doesn’t need that much translation because of how important this scene is in the entire story. and I know my narratives aren’t enough so just,,,, just watch it please it’s so much more than this. everyone’s acting was just spectacular

(1:08:47)

So, after the IT (YOSUKE. JUST YOSUKE. good job Mae-chan) stop themselves from k wording Namatame, it was ADACHI who reported Nanako’s miracle recovery. He ran to the same corridor where they all cried in, even panting and falling to the ground in relief trying to report the good news. Then he pats Hayato on the shoulder and says he’s going to Dojima.

With this... /slaps roof of half of VLE/ ALL of this....adachi.... adachisan.... he Cares™️..... holy shit.....

now. comparing to the game. do you even remember what og Adachi did? did he.. even do anything?????

(56:39)

NO!!! he just stood there!!!! being a bumbling fool but.... inappropriately!!! man. he didn’t act concerned enough.

adachi: /walks into a bunch of kids crying outside a hospital room/ “lmao why tf are y’all crying? did uhhh what’s her face uhhh nanako. did she d word or something? rip, I guess lol” LIKE????? CAN YOU IMPLY FASTER

and then he’s like “wgat hmm Where’s Dojima-san Heading Because That’s Not The Way To His Room 🤔” and only when he’s asked he actually mentions he’s heading to Namatame’s room and still needs to get choked by a first year for the room number like..... zero consideration

and his boss??? where his daughter he loves so much just??? di*s???? and he’s so devastated he’s doing what he can that very moment while he’s so numbed of thinking of the consequences???? And adachi goes “uhh boss that’s illegal” LIKE. BITCH. /punches through a concrete wall but harder/

---

And??? His confrontation scene??? Like, I know they mashed it up w his tv confession scene to save stagetime for other scenes BUT IT WAS SO MMBMBMBMMGN /gestures in a good way/

(1:15:56)

UM?? guy behind everything??? in a vulnerable area where he could easily get physically assaulted bc hes not in the tv world w his persona?? Trash talks women like he absolute misogynist he is??? getting yelled at by a bunch of kids and YELLING BACK IN THE SAME AGITATED MANNER even TAUNTING THEM then and there to GET HIS ASS?????

og Adachi was such a pussy he got caught and just scurried off into the TV world where he ended up having powers like...ok....scared of getting beat down by a bunch of highschoolers unless you have powers...ok....

he only taunted them to get him when he was in the tv world too.....he rlly couldn’t say shit in the real world huh... lol

(yeah yeah this shows how VLE Adachi knew abt his TV world powers which would make you think if he ever went into the tv world and came back out alive. Or he’s really just a badass who doesnt give a shit abt anyone’s opinions and CAN beat anyone’s ass. i have a separate thing abt this but bc i like to laught at vle rather than overthink its own lore i might. not. idk lol)

and ??? VLE Adachi can??? He can swordfight??? he doesn’t even NEED a gun—he even reflects bullets w his blade (but apparently he can still get slapped by a flying fan more often than any other attack). His fight choreo was just...so poggers. He’s like short villains done good—like??? he’s short compared to everyone else!!! but he makes up for it for stuffing all the energy inside him while is bursts out making him him the over energetic gremlin he is!!! go VL adachi!!!!

(am I low key making fun of Madono-san in the TUUSH stageplay I’ve seen four minutes of? maybe)

OK!!! Yes I was gushing abt Masami-san again back to Adachi.

It’s portrayed that while not being afraid to admit his crimes, he also goes out of his way to be a bastard and have the gall to get a bunch of kids to fight him, one on eight. He can use a katana, probably a narrative dark reflection of the hero, Hayato which I thought was nice—and he can fight!!! It also shows his persona, yes, but...it doesn’t make it clear if he’s overwhelmed by his Shadow like in the game, where his eyes were yellow and he was emitting a dark aura.

But it gets interesting how he sees he’s getting overwhelmed and starting to lose his edge towards a bunch of kids. He falls to the ground even banging the floor like a whiny brat while literally the IT tries to tell him to turn himself in. Again, like a brat he tells everyone to shut up—before getting incapacitated. While some of the IT rejoice, he bolts up unaccepting of his defeat—before getting hit in the stomach.

(1:23:54)

And his words from when he drops his katana, “Why..?” He grabs the foldable chair against his stomach, and with a remorseful look in his eyes, he says “I’m sorry..!”

THEN HE BACKFLIPS—then Hayato slashes him.

In a tone of disbelief, he goes “no way...” and collapses to the ground, being possessed by Ame-no-Sagiri.

Blah blah blah then Teddie rockets himself into the eyeball spy cam and then they both explode aaaaa

Teddie survives but I really don’t know where Adachi went. Not even a mention by Dojima if he turned himself in or was ever found—or I need to review VLE for the 48274827482nd time hehe

WHOO then the whole cast appears for the dance number at the end of show YAHOO

[cherubchoirs]

Hello, I just found your account a few days ago, and to putting it lightly, I’m obsessed. I love all your AUs, and they just remind me of why I love the first two persona games and the smt games so much. They just have the same feel. I was wondering if I could know a bit more about Akira and Akechi’s relationship in the Godhunter AU.

aaaa thank you so much!! this is exactly why i know i need to get into the first two games and the smt series - they always sound like they’d vibe with me exactly whenever i hear about them, which makes sense since a few ppl have told me my aus have similar beats skdfhsfd but yes omg i’d be happy to ramble about these two!!

the two of them meet pretty much just like in canon - goro, in order to explore yaldabaoth’s plane, needs to be in the public eye and so he works as a tv personality akira gets to meet on a school trip. goro’s super interesting to him given how he’s attracted to anything people are invested in, so akira’s eager to get to know a person like him who’s garnered so much attention and adoration from the public. on goro’s end, akira is strikingly different from anyone he’s spoken with - he doesn’t seem put off by goro’s fame and he’s insightful, eccentric but in a way that’s refreshing. it makes them both decide to stay in contact given their similar ages beside and they quickly grow increasingly interested and invested in one another - akira is fascinated by goro’s sharp mind, his perceptive nature and strength of will, but he knows he harbors deep sadness and anger in him, something akira naturally wants to help. and goro enjoys akira’s surprising perspectives, how he seems obsessed with anything popular but not at all in a shallow sense, waxing all philosophical on the newest trends. i think akira falls in love first, ecstatic with the emotion and so happy, if a bit confused and oblivious at first, about experiencing a feeling so treasured by humans...but more than that is his own personal joy in it, how just being with goro makes his heart feel as though it will burst. goro is more reserved, not believing he has the time or the want to fall in love, worried that his life is too dangerous to involve who he believes to be a normal high schooler in it...however, akira is anything but average to him, he feels so much newer than everyone he spends his time with, than every other person he sees day after day. but it’s that quality that makes him act with caution, how different akira is and how much more plain it is to see the deeper and deeper they fall in with one another. i think goro falls in love without noticing, they’re together before he realizes and he knows he must just be paranoid thinking akira could be the god he’s looking for. after all, why would he put himself in so much danger if that were the case? why would he openly approach goro, why would he want a relationship unless he was that twisted? it’s inconsistent with what they understand about him and so he puts it out of his mind, he tries to enjoy akira for who he is and besides...he has friends, he goes to school and likes all the things any other teenage kid would like...he has a dad, even if goro’s never seen him.

however, when goro receives information that god likely has a child with him, he knows who akira is and who his absent father is. it breaks his heart but, once he confirms it by following akira to his home and confronting yaldabaoth for the first time, their relationship (obviously) becomes infinitely more complicated. goro’s actually the one that initiates their reconnection, and now with everything out in the open, with goro unsure how to advance and akira unsure how else to move forward, they begin to learn from (and fight with) one another. they still value what they’ve always loved in the other, but things are much more complex than they would like - goro can see akira cares deeply for humans, his sympathy in fact runs much deeper than most people, but at the same time he needs to make him understand how privileged and disconnected he really is. yes, he lives with humans now but he’s still above them, he will never understand their pain fully as he can’t. and for akira, while he initially immediately hates what goro stands for on principle, he begins to learn the hurt his father actually has caused, how he may indeed be responsible for the pain many humans go through. goro’s pain is legitimate, his grievances make sense, and in turn, goro learns that akira does care and how cruel it would be to kill yaldabaoth. a tension inevitably remains between them, but goro soon knows he can’t go through with the one thing he was raised to do while akira believes more and more that he needs to be the one to hold his father responsible and make him change. they’re deeply in love by then and they both know by how much they have been willing to accept, willing to change for the other.

still, i think their dynamic overall stays pretty much the same - goro’s much more serious and protective while akira tends to be cocky and laid back, although both of them are absolutely just as competitive in this au as they are in canon lol but that’s kind of the part one and part two of their relationship, although afterwards it continues to change - there’s a time when they’re alone as akira needs to live with goro since his dad is reduced to his grail form and then after sophia shows up, things get even MORE complicated around them...but i think that’s when they really become each other’s anchor, the support they have for one another turning fully unshakeable as things get...pretty uncertain

[mooncademia]

Wishes Do Come True — PART 1.

PAIRING ~ Aizawa Shouta/reader

GENRE ~ fluff

SUMMARY ~ Being an undercover cop has always been second nature to you, but after being paired up with Aizawa Shouta, your heart begins to wander slightly off track. With an unexpected occasion coming up, you’ve realized that you really are falling for the angler-hero. Cue the butterflies! 

WORD COUNT ~ 3.0k

AUTHOR’S NOTE ~ Hello everyone! Oh gosh, I feel like I can write a whole-ass dissertation for my love for Aizawa Shouta (esp since he is my favorite character!) but thankfully, I have unleashed my love through writing a story. It is a bit long compared to my other fics and wips so I separated it into 2 parts. Stay tuned for part 2 real soon! 

Ps: this story is inspired by BNHA Vigilantes and includes two minor characters, just a heads up! 

EDIT: Part 2 is here!

The sun shined brightly as you trotted along the busy streets of Tokyo with Aizawa Shouta. The warmness of the air tingled your skin and your mid-length floral dress danced happily in the air as you held on to your wide-brimmed straw hat to prevent it from flying away.

“There are so many people,” Aizawa grumbled under his breath beside you.

You turned to him. Both of your elbows were locked together and while you could see Aizawa’s annoyance in his eyes, you couldn’t help but smile at him. You thought his little sneery comments were entertaining—cute even. He wore a long black men’s cardigan over a simple white tee, paired with a pair of army-green pants and classic sneakers. Not bad, you thought to yourself.

Last month, you and Aizawa were teamed up together by Officer Tsukauchi to go undercover to retrieve/discover some information about drug smugglers that have been stirring up some crimes and troubles lately. You took care of communications while Aizawa was behind you as a battle-ready investigator—after all, given your cop status, you couldn’t use your quirk. Having experience as an undercover cop for a couple of months already, this wasn’t new to you.

Though the underground hero definitely needed some readjustments in the beginning missions.

“Is this tie necessary? Aizawa complained dryly on the first day of undercover. He tried to loosen his blue tie away from his formal business wear, but it only made his suit more wrinkly.

He looked down at his outfit with a cringed look plastered on his face. “Why exactly do we need to dress up like this?”

You turned around to peer at him but only let out a laugh. You too were wearing a formal businesswoman attire and judging from Aizawa’s helpless expression (which you thought was adorable), you knew he was definitely not used to this.

“Because we need to get information from this company about the smugglers and you gotta pretend to be my assistant!” You explained to him with your hands on your hips.

You looked down at Aizawa’s now wrinkled clothes and you twitched at the disagreeable sight that surely did not look the least bit professional.

“Here, let me help,” you said, stepping in to fix his tie. “You need to wear the tie Aizawa, not let it dangle loose unprofessionally.”  

While you carefully tucked in your partner’s tie and smoothened out all the wrinkles of his suit, you felt a gaze watching you. When you looked up, you found Aizawa’s eyes locked with yours. A warm heat flushed through the apples of your cheeks as you realized how exactly close you are to him. You couldn’t read his expression but his eyes pulled you in.

You didn’t realize how handsome Aizawa’s features actually were until you looked up closely—his sharp jawline, carefully pulled-back hair, the cute scruffiness on his chin, and his cold laid-back eyes that exerted exciting intimidation to you. When you met Aizawa for the first time, you knew the man was almost never quite often lighted by a smile, perhaps rationally cold, but you found him to be so lovable at the same time with his small kind gestures and silly grumpy grunts.

Why is my heart beating so fast? You thought to yourself as the two of you stared at each other, your faces only inches away.

“Y/N, Aizawa?” Officer Tsukauchi’s voice ran through your earpiece, popping you back into reality. “Is there something wrong?”  

You yelped out and blinked your eyes rapidly. You lift one hand to your ear, clicking on your earpiece. “No! Nothing’s wrong, sorry!” You said in a squeaky voice.

You totally forgot Tsukauchi was literally right behind you guys in a white van surveying the whole action. You reminded yourself to keep your eyes back on the mission.

You glanced at Aizawa who stuffed his hands in his dress pants and looked away casually. “Some people just don’t know how to wear suits,” you added to Tsukauchi with a sly smile plastered on your face.

Aizawa shot daggers at you when he heard your teasing comment which only made you laugh out loud, slowly replacing that weird emotion in your heart with ease and excitement. “Come on,” you exclaimed with a guide of your hand. “Let’s go see what these guys are up to!”

That was the first day of working with Aizawa. And now that it has been a couple weeks, the two of you worked effortlessly and swiftly together as you have gotten to know each other a lot better. Communication was easy for the two of you and you both enjoyed working together given how well you both understood each others’ emotions and personality. It surprised you knowing that this cold, rational-driven man can understand you perfectly but you could say the same for him too.

But as the days pass, you realized that that weird, funny feeling of your heart running relay races whenever you see him? Or those butterflies in your stomach whenever you glance at him?

You still felt that.

And today was one of those days where your face feels a lot warmer than normal despite the cool breeze dancing in the air in the streets of Tokyo.

Why?

Because today you and Aizawa had to go undercover not as performers, waiters, tennis players, construction workers, or even hippies.

The two of you had to go undercover as a regular, cute, loving couple.

And let’s just say your heart was definitely not ready for that.

When you met up with him this afternoon, seeing him in his undercover clothes— how casual yet stylish he dressed, your heart did another relay race but oh boy, that wasn’t even the most embarrassing part.

Before the two of you walked down the streets to follow some men that were claimed to be targets, Aizawa held out his elbow and you stood there dumbfoundedly wondering what he was doing. You swore you looked like a koi fish with your mouth hanging slightly open in surprise.

“Uh…” you commented when you saw Aizawa holding out his arm this afternoon. “What are you doing?”

“Lock elbows together,” Aizawa said as if it was the most obvious thing. “Our undercover act?”

You blinked your eyes and tapped your forehead. “OH! Yes! Of course, right!!” You rambled as you took Aizawa’s arm so you were now shoulder to shoulder. You cursed yourself for being so unprofessional. Did you really think Aizawa was making a move? Noo! He was just playing his part… right?

You rolled your eyes internally at yourself. You were usually so in-tuned, so professional and so calm whenever you were undercover, but this man who many often fear from his deadly gaze or rational mind is making you lose your grip in the most embarrassing ways possible.

As the two of you were walking casually behind the two men ahead, blending in with the crowd in the streets, you tucked away all your silly emotions and flashbacks and reminded yourself to focus on the mission.

“You don’t like any crowded places, huh?” You replied to Aizawa after his remark.

Aizawa turned to you and let out a scoff with a smile. “Not really.”

You looked back at him and smiled with a nod before putting your attention back on the two men. Though strangely, you could feel Aizawa’s eyes still on you.

“You look nice today,” he complimented before darting his eyes back ahead on the streets.

Your heart did an instant flip as your ears barely fully registered what he just said.

Did he just compliment me?

“Oh!” Your eyes widened, looking down at your floral dress. You wore your best dress: the one that had a slight vintage touch since you were such a sucker for vintage things. It was a baby yellow bohemian midi-dress that had a squared neckline which allowed you to adorn it with gold jewelry. The cutely ruffled detail on the sleeves paired perfectly with the vintage buttons on the dress. And with that straw hat? *chefs kiss!*

Not that you spent an extra 45 minutes debating on which dress to wear for this couple's persona… you were excited, okay?!

“Thank you. Um… you look really nice too, I’m glad I don’t need to lecture you on how to wear regular people’s clothes,” you teased, glancing at him for a few seconds.

You saw Aizawa rolled his eyes and you laughed out loud. There’s excitement in the air that made your heart rushing, and it made you feel weirdly good and comfortable. You wished you could just continue to walk with him on the streets like this—shoulder to shoulder, peaceful and relaxed. Previously, you thought the couple's persona was going to be awfully awkward especially with the angler-hero, but somehow it felt oddly… right.

Before you could even fully think about it, you spotted the two men turn right to a narrow dark alleyway, and you immediately turned at Aizawa.

He nodded as if he already knew what you were going to say and with a flash of a smirk he said, “Let's go.”

——————

“And these are the same ones?” Officer Tsukauchi questioned as he closed the doors of the van with a loud thud!

“Ugh! The bonds are too tight!” The man complained inside with his hands tied with gray bonds. In the corner of your eye, you could see Aizawa’s mischievous smile as patted his hands together as if saying: ‘my job here is done.’

You looked back at Officer Tsukauchi and showed him the black bag that the men were carrying. You carefully unzipped the bag and pulled out—

“All Might’s action figures?” Tsukauchi stared at it dumbfoundedly.

“Yup!” You exclaimed. You made an amazing undercover cop because of your outgoing and cheerful personality which resonated with great first impressions. But your deductive and investigative senses were real sharp as well. You held out your hand at Aizawa and he nodded, knowing what you needed already. He reached down his pants pocket and pulled out his knife so casually as if someone just asked him if they could borrow a pen.  

“However…” you continued as you popped opened the head of the All Might action figure with the knife. You poured out the bright green gel pills that were hidden inside the hollow toy.

“There it is.”

Officer Tsukauchi leaned in and examined it. “There are a few more locations we need to check out, but I think we are getting warmer to whose behind all this, thanks to you and Aizawa’s info.”

You handed him over the bag and nodded respectfully. “Anytime,” you replied supportingly. “I’m guessing next week’s target is at Ikebukuro, right?”

Officer Tsukauchi opened the door to his van and nodded. “So far, that is the plan, but I’ll let you know if there are any updates, especially after I do some further investigation with these men.” He pointed behind him.

You gave him a thumbs up and a smile and Aizawa tucked his hands into his pocket and let out an agreeable grunt. Once Officer Tsukauchi drove off, you stood at the sidewalk with Aizawa. The day was getting late, the sky was a grayish-blue tone and the two colors smashed together forming little swirls. It was as if there was an enormous painting just pinned above the sky glaring down at you.

“Well,” you said to Aizawa, patting your hands together. “I guess our job here is done.”

On the way back to the train station, the two of you had to cross through the busy streets, bustling with people. But now it was after-work hours, it seemed like the number of human beings on the street suddenly skyrocketed, and you had trouble even crossing through the streets without accidentally bumping into people’s shoulders. There was a whole lot of sorry, and excuse me! that you had to say but when you peered at Aizawa who was a few feet ahead of you, he walked slowly with incomparable ease (no one dared to bump him!).

“Ow, sorry!” You yelped as another shoulder knocked you back, causing you to almost trip on your feet. Aizawa turned his head and you felt an unexpected warm touch wrapped around your wrist. Aizawa gently locked elbows with yours to prevent you from falling back behind or colliding too much with the pedestrians. It was just like this afternoon and electrical signals were buzzing from your wrist to your heart as you stared at him with surprised eyes.

Aizawa flashed you a mischievous smile and said, “You are not too good on these busy streets, you know?”

Your face felt warm even though it was getting colder.

“Tell me about it,” you groaned, holding Aizawa’s arm just slightly tighter.

Aizawa looked up at the large building ahead right above the train station where you two were returning. Immediately when he glanced up, he noticed the date and weather temperature pinned on the building in bright neon lights.

“Oh,” he said suddenly, causing you to turn your head. “Next week’s your birthday?” The tone of his voice was more of a realization than a question.  

“Huh?”

You were confused at his spontaneous and unexpected comment, but once you followed his line of sight and saw the large date pinned on the building, you widened your eyes and quickly looked down at your watch on your wrist. The date on your watch did not match up to the on the building. You cursed at old vintage watches, you loved vintage things but the date stopped updating on the watch since last week!  

“Oh my goodness, you’re right!” You gasped. “Oh wow I- I didn’t even know my watch stopped last week. I guess next week is my birthday!”

With the undercover missions lately along with your hectic schedule, you had totally forgotten that your birthday was coming up.

You looked at Aizawa whose gaze was now forward and your eyes softened.

Did he really remember my birthday? You wondered to yourself. It was a couple of weeks ago where you were having a conversation with Aizawa and the Hotta Brothers at the Hotta Brother’s Hoppers Shop, the place where you secretly believe is Aizawa’s secret underground hero base (the Hotta brothers strongly objected though). Aizawa always stops by at the shop for his “morning routine” (which is basically reading his book and drinking hot black coffee) but after teaming up with him for the undercover missions, it was also the place where you two will sit down and plan for upcoming missions or discuss ideas and theories. A week or so ago, you were talking to the Hotta Brothers and you landed on the topic of birthdays when complaining how much you found your own horoscope sign to be disagreeable (which of course, we will get into later in another matter). You didn’t think Aizawa was listening while you and the Hotta Brothers playfully shared birthdates and horoscope complaints since he seemed so focused on his reading and drinking his classic cup of black coffee (Aizawa is not the morning person). And you couldn’t lie to yourself right then and there: your affection for him grew. The fact that he was listening to what you were saying that day (and oh boy, have you had your share of rambles), you felt warm to the heart—as if someone has lent you a cup of rich hot chocolate on a cold winter day. You were beyond content and a smile inevitably tugged on your lips.

“Well, happy uhm.. early birthday,” Aizawa said with a slightly timid nature in his voice, you caught it immediately. You two were close to the train station but the pacing of your walks was slower than before. Maybe the two of you just wanted to savor this lazy evening day, or perhaps your heart was beating a bit faster than before, your legs failed to move at a similar pace.

“Thank you,” you beamed. The sun was strangely setting rapidly and before you said your goodbyes to Aizawa, you scheduled another meet up with him next week at the Hotta Brother’s Hoppers Shop to discuss the newest findings with Officer Tsukauchi.

“Wait!” You blurted out when you saw Aizawa turned his body away to go to Platform 1.

Aizawa whirled around with a confused expression. “Hm?”

“Uh…” Your mind paced. You didn’t exactly know the reason behind your sudden comment, but your heart betrayed your mind and you wanted to say one more thing to him before you both part.

“Today was nice,” you said.

Yup, you wanted to scream at yourself.

‘You call catching crimes and finding out more drugs, NICE? Y/N…come on…’ a part of your mind cried to you as you realized what you just stupidly said. Thankfully Aizawa just stood there with his hands casually tucked into his pockets with his signature bland expression.

“I mean,” you continued trying to make sense. “The overall mission went well.” You embarrassingly rubbed your neck and adjusted your hat.

Aizawa nodded silently.

“And…thank you for remembering my birthday, as random as it sounds.” You rolled your eyes and laughed your embarrassment off, and then smiled and looked away. Even at this day of time, people were still rustling through the station and you could hear the updated announcements on approaching trains. “It just…means a lot.”

Aizawa stared at you for a moment, his expression slightly softened when he heard your sincere words. He opened his mouth, about to respond until you clapped your hands loudly together and locked your gaze with him. You put on a confident expression.

“Well then!” You said cheerfully. “You better go! Your train is approaching in 2 minutes.” You flashed a sweet smile to him and to your surprised, he returned the smile back. You knew he barely smiles, there are the occasional grunts here and there, but a genuine smile? Not a sight you often see, and it made you feel jittery in the stomach. You didn’t need him to say any words for you to know he understood your message, and you were glad to just get that off your chest. As silly as thanking someone for remembering your birthday sounds, it was different from Aizawa…it felt meaningful and you were grateful to let him know. A few words of gratitude won’t hurt, right? Probably not.  

So as you officially said your goodbyes, you trotted to your platform and waited for your train as the evening breeze continues to conduct happy dances in the air.

You shook your head with a smile as you reflect back on today’s mission.

So perhaps your best dress has become your “lucky” dress as well...

[Edit]: Part 2 is here!

A/N: To those who actually read the fic, I- I am crying heart emojis. Writing this story was so much fun and also somewhat personal, and I am so happy that I can share it for other’s reading pleasure! Thank you so so much, I know I always say this but I am truly truly grateful if you took the time to read it. This is not the end, there will be a part 2 coming real soon!! And I can guarantee that it's going to be quite interesting and vv cute, so please stay tuned for it! 😉 As always, please don’t hesitate to message/comment me abt this story or bnha in general, I’ll be so happy to message you back~ Stay safe everyone and have a wonderful day!! ♡

[i-rely-on-you]

44!!!!!!!

Thank you so much dear! 

This is the 50 Ways To Say “I Love You” thingy so here you go @faytalepsy

My ask box for those is still open in case anyone is interested and you can find this prompt list here 50 Ways To Say “I Love You”

You don’t have to pretend with me

He found her sitting at her desk on this late September evening, still working on grading papers. Hunched over forms, an uncharacteristic hand to her forehead seemingly worried.  

He had come to check up on her as he had taken to doing since she had come back from the dead.  

It was hard for him to be parted from her for more than a couple hours at a time and he knew she felt the same.  

After she had come back and they had fought off Rosalind he had been adamant about not leaving her side, fearing their old mentor could come back to finish the job should he not have his fairy within reaching distance at all times.  

He had clung to her like his life depended on it when she had started breathing again after they had dug her up. Soil and vines of the surrounding flowers still clinging to her.  

He had carried her inside their school and up to her quarters and taken off her clothes, helped her shower and put her to bed, keeping vigil over her until she had woken up again several hours later.  

Her sleep muddled brain still in the throes of a nightmare of being trapped underground had not been able to discern dream state from the real world until he had slid into bed beside her, holding her to him tightly. He had soothed her gently, whispering sweet nothings and reassurances into her ear until she had fallen asleep again.  

Seeing her like this now, agitated him. She looked stressed and almost frail. A look he didn’t like seeing on his fairy at all.  

Looking up from her work upon hearing him enter she gave him a small smile. It was a genuine smile but strained nonetheless making it seem almost fake if he hadn’t known her better.  

Quickly closing the door behind him Saul strutted into the room, a concerned expression marring his features.  

“Farah what is it? Are you alright?” The questions tumbled from his lips without pause as he came to a halt by her side.  

Reaching for her upon coming to a standstill right next to where she was sitting he laid a hand on her shoulder, the other grasping her hand delicately.  

Leaning back a little in her chair the headmistress looked at the forms in front of her again, a big sigh escaping her lips.  

“It’s nothing, really.” Casting a warm glance up at him she closed her eyes for a moment before opening them again. Fixing him with a deep meaningful stare. ”I’m fine.”

Not believing her for a second the soldier stooped down a little and crouched next to her to be more at eye level with her.  

Sliding his hand to the crook of her elbow now he murmured softly, “What is it?”

Shaking her head the woman sighed again before loosening his hold on her hand. Letting her face fall into both of her palms dejectedly she let out another sigh.  

This worried the man greatly and he wound his arm around her back and took hold of her upper arm gently, his fingers encircling her biceps. Angling himself so as to see her more clearly he tried again. “Talk to me love, what’s wrong?” But the fairy just shook her head once more.  

Letting go of her back and arm Saul began to scoot back the chair in a way that she was facing him now and not the desk anymore. He then loosened her hold on her own face as gently as he could taking in her sorrow stricken face and the frown marring her beautiful lips.  

She had her eyes closed as he took in her features.  

Laying his hand on her cheek softly he made her look down at him with the words, “Hey, look at me.”, to which she obliged instantly.  

Her soulful deep brown eyes were pooling with unshed tears and it made his heart stop for a second.  

Taking all his willpower not to bundle her up and flee the realm all together right this second the soldier murmured instead, “Come on now, Farah. You don’t have to pretend with me, you know that. Tell me.”

Biting her lip momentarily she looked at him and whispered, “I’m worried, Saul.”

Now it was his turn to shake his head as he frowned up at her, clearly not understanding.  

Yes, they hadn’t defeated Rosalind completely and she was still out there but they were careful and had doubled their efforts to keep unwelcome guests from passing through the barrier. He had seen to it himself to have guards patrolling the building at all times.

But they also knew how powerful Rosalind really was and that scared the soldier too. More than he would like to admit.  

Standing up tall again he chanced a glance outside the window half expecting to see their tormentor standing at the edge of the training grounds looking up at him mockingly. But of course there was no one there.  

Turning back around to look at the headmistress again he wondered, “Did you see something? Was anything amiss today? Has something happened that made you believe something might be off?” He knew when to trust her instincts, as they had rarely ever been wrong. So he contemplated the possibilities that could have spooked her so while letting his eyes scan the training field again.  

Her voice shook him out of his observations gently.

“No, nothing was amiss. It’s just-…”, her voice trailed off slightly as if unsure how to proceed.  

“I’m just so worried for the children, Saul.”  

This he understood. They were under an extreme amount of pressure caring for all of these lives every single day, keeping them safe and away from harm. He instantly knew where she was coming from with this.  

“I would not be able to look myself in the eyes again if something happened to one of my pupils. I am so afraid she’ll come back and do something terrible to them like she did to us.” Halting as her words grew more shaky with each syllable passing her lips the fairy closed her eyes again in shame.  

Seeing her like this, all worried and frightened made his heart ache in his chest.  

Feeling the need to be close to her again he took the half a step towards her and enclosed her in his embrace.  

Her arms settled around his lower hips snugly and her head came to rest on the spot between his chest and belly. Pressing her face into the material of his jumper the mind fairy breathed in deeply as if for the first time today, treasuring the smell of him.  

Sauls arm snaked around her shoulders and his other hand came to rest on the back of her head where he began to rub soothing circles into her loosely braided hair.  

That was also something that had changed with Rosalinds attempt on her life. It seemed like almost losing her life had made her lose her grasp on this stern persona she had crafted so meticulously over the years of being headmistress.  

Her trademark hairdos pinning the golden brown locks high on top of her head had given to a more delicate style now.  

She had taken to wearing her hair in less strict but no less intricate hairstyles these past few weeks and he liked the look on her. It made her appear softer and slightly more approachable which the students had taken as an open invitation to get closer to her after she had come back.  

Hugs had become a daily occurrence now.  

Students seeking out guidance in the middle of the hall and after a quick chat grabbing her around the middle gently and letting go just as quickly, throwing her a timid smile in thanks and vanishing off to where they needed to go next.  

The first time it happened had been almost comical to say the least but she had taken it in stride and learned to cherish those moments.  

The student body was different now. They appreciated her more with each day passing and each and every single one of the pupils made sure that she was well taken care of at all times throughout the day.  

Be it juice boxes left at her desk before class had even begun or an apple sitting on top of her books intended for the lesson. It could be a muffin waiting for her on her desk in her office or pupils holding doors for her and accompanying her to her next lecture.  

The students made sure to take care of this second chance they had been given with her. Of having their beloved headmistress back.  

It was always rather simple things really. But they were greatly appreciated and didn’t go unnoticed by Saul. He was grateful for all these children being there for her.  

Rubbing at the base of her neck and sinking his hands into her hair more fully now he massaged her scalp gently, all the while being mindful of the few pins holding the strands up.  

He drew her nearer slightly before craning his neck down to whisper to her softly, “We will get through this Farah.”  

He knew it was futile to be making silly and unwarranted promises because he knew some things were just out of his control but he could promise her one thing.  

Letting his arm drag across her back gently and holding her to him tightly he vowed to her, “We will bring an end to this. She has caused us so much misery for way too many years and she will pay for what she has done to you, I promise you that.”

Feeling her nod into his belly and grasping onto his jumper more forcefully now he promised her one last thing.  

“And I will not part from you ever again until my dying breath. This I swear to you.”

He had been given a second chance too, he knew. And he would make damn sure to make this one count.  

He heard her sniffle slightly before pulling away from him a fraction to be able to look up at him. Her eyes shone brightly, tears still clinging to her lashes but her face was clear and open.  

Her hopeful look had him smile in return and lean down to press the softest of kisses to her forehead. Lingering there for just a minute breathing her in, he relished in the feeling of her warm and soft skin.

They stood like this for a while, never relinquishing the hold on the other. For how long they stood there they didn’t know. And it didn’t matter.  

It was Saul who broke away from her first.  

Taking in her sleepy look he held out his hand for her to take and pulled her to her feet slowly but surely.  

“How about something to eat? I’m famished.”

This made the woman giggle, a sound he would never tire of hearing for as long as he lived he was sure.  

“You are always famished Saul.”  

Pulling her around the desk he stopped by the coat hanger and helped her into her jacket, making sure to pull her hair out of her collar as he did so.

“Ah yes, that may be true. And you know what really helps with that? Spaghetti!”

The laughter this pulled from her lips made the specialist practically beam with pride at being able to make her forget the world around them even if only for a little while.  

Pulling her into his side he began leading her out of the room and into the hallway all the while keeping a firm grip on her side.  

To any other person it might’ve seemed possessive the way he was holding her to him but to her it was heaven. She felt safe in his embrace, surrounded by his scent and warmth. His strong arms banding around her, encasing her and holding her close.  

“Is it because it’s the only thing you can actually cook without burning down the kitchen?”

Chuckling at her jest he looked down at her and found her gaze seeking out his, her face glowing with mirth.  

Positively beaming now he gave back, “Maybe? Are you complaining?”

Shaking her head she whispered a soft ‘no’ before letting her head fall to his shoulder gently. A small sigh of contentment accompanied the movement as she let him lead her through the narrow hallways and dark corridors of their beloved Alfea.  

There was nothing they couldn’t get through together she believed that now.  

Always had, really.  

Because they weren’t just ordinary people. They were Farah Dowling and Saul Silva. A fairy and her specialist. A powerful unit and a force to be reckoned with.  

And as long as they were together, they would be fine.  

They would just have to make sure to hold onto each other tightly.  

Nothing easier than that.  

-fin

Thank you so much for reading ☺️ I hope you like it. Be sure to leave a comment to let me know what you think 🥰 kudos is also greatly appreciated ♥️

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[life-rewritten]

Flower of Evil: The Breakdown of the Psyche of Baek Hee Sung

Watching episode 15 of Flower of Evil is a thrilling experience that still haunts me till this very day. We could focus on the psychological state of Do Hyun So as he hears that Baek Hee Sung kills Cha Ji Won. I could analyse it as a Romeo and Juliet base;  dreadful outcome of miscommunication and how this has been foreshadowed since the very beginning of this show. But what's even more fascinating is how the ghost of Do Min Seok is used even more as a way to showcase the breakdown of his psyche again, especially when he starts to doubt Cha Ji Won in front of him because he always believed he wasn't sane. It's a fantastic painful scene. So yeah we could focus on all that, but I want to focus again on the actual message of the show being a flower made of evil/in evil, and look at the man, the coward, the villain of this show Baek Hee Sung. His reasoning, his descent into psychopathy, and his reasons for his thirst to kill.

A breakdown of the psyche of Baek Hee Sung

When we first look at Baek Hee Sung, he's found lying on a hospital bed secretly stashed inside a walk-in closet of his parents. His mum is hugely emotional and anxious about him, we can tell she holds a lot of guilt, and she's involved in his situation. His dad is there to hold her back from making mistakes, whilst also still making her feel guilty whenever she tried to actively move on and accept Do Hyun So as her family. (which she admits to him in episode 14) 

Baek Hee Sung lying on the bed doesn't feel as scary and whilst the clues are there that he is the missing accomplice; the reason for why the serial killings stopped after Do Min Seok committed suicide, (the day he went into a coma) and his family's need to conceal him away like a secret.  Even when he wakes up, he's still not as scary as his father who acts more coldly and heartless in situations and feels more dangerous than the guy who can't walk. It's until the audience is told he is the accomplice that things start to fall into place. The question is, why is Baek Hee Sung a killer.

The Guilty Party: His Parents

I've already posted about the irony of the identity of Baek Hee Sung, how both he and Do Hyun So are mirrors of each other, foils of each other destined to intersect. Just like Hyun So was taken to therapy at a very young age for hurting animals, Hee Sung was also there because he also dropped a brick from the roof on a dog/car with people in it. He blamed it on stress, and unease from his exams, he needed to let off steam, and whilst Hyun So doesn't react or give of emotions to the therapist, Hee Sung cries and acts guilty making people think he's not someone with a disorder. Including his parents, who feel guilty for making him into one later because of neglect and stress on him to succeed as a maths wiz. This is when Hee Sung meets Do Min Seok, and he tells his parents he was coerced and forced by him into the killing. 

Reasons for why his family continues to aid him into killing: 

The father and his neglect

The mother of Hee Sung states that from the very beginning she was the one who took care of Hee Sung, she was the one who taught him, stayed by him as he grew up. His dad was nowhere to be found because he was always working. Even in the past, when he was taken to therapy, his father wasn't at the hospital, it was his mother who knew and fully understood his character. The most important scene that is repeated is that his father refused to answer the phone when he ran over Do Hyun So and because he panicked he proceeded to try and bury him in the back yard. This is what caused the catalyst of his mother, stabbing him and realising the monster he's become. It's what drives him to be in the coma. Looking at this information and what Director Baek says, it's his guilt for not being with his son that causes him to act out if he was there perhaps Min Seok wouldn't have coerced Hee Sung if he was there or answered the phone his family would not be in the predicament they are in. His guilt is focused on ensuring his family is safe, protected and mended. Because he was not there at the beginning. From his cold attitude, and unfeeling persona about other matters, it can be assumed that he only focused on the fact that his son was a genius, and math wiz, he probably didn't think it was wrong as long as his status and reputation were good.  He believes after his son wakes up that by being by his side, he will change, he will now be part of it and control the other variables. This is what causes him to pardon Hee Sung continuously; he feels too guilty to try and stop him. (though his guilt doesn't stop him from being abusive, I guess.) He's even willing to kill to get his family protected, as long as he can manipulate someone else to take the fall. He uses Do Hyun So as physical place holder, hoping to get rid of him and return his son to that position, he even menace says that Hyun so's wife and child will end up being given to Hee Sung, and that's his goal. The father's character is three dimensional because as much as he acts cold and unfeeling, he does have one thing he cares about his son and family's reputation. This is why it can be proved as well that the environment for Hee Sung was also part of the reasons for his descent into psychopathy/murder. His father neglect that makes him more prone to following Min Seok to get attention.

The mother and her guilt

Baek Hee Sung has a different relationship with his mother; he indulges her and doesn't feel angry about her trying to kill him. He coerces her into helping him and his antics because he plays as well on her guilt. Different from the father's responsibility in neglect, his mum is representative of the burden in pressure. From the start of the show, the mother reacts anxiously to any hints of pressure: she rips up Eun Ha (her fake grand daughter's) maths work because it's too ahead of her, she blames the work for the reason for why it would ruin her life and her mum's, she also questions Eun Ha if her mum hits her, or hurts her when she gets the answer wrong suggesting that Hee Sung may have been forced into the life of being a maths wiz. Her character is over-reactive, and she makes mistakes all the time. She feels guilty for pressuring him into studying, especially when in the psychiatry hospital he says it's what caused him to throw the dog from the rooftop. In her mind, the pressure they instilled on her son is what made him look for refuge and release from Min Seok.  Her guilt continues to hunt her because she reacts to the reveal of his killings by stabbing him and putting him in an extended coma. Her guilt is what makes her hide him on life support in the closet, ensuring they keep him alive, and her guilt even worsens when she finally wants to end it all (and move on) by killing him again but only making him wake up. Not only is she feeling guilty for making him a monster because of pressure, but she feels guilty for trying to kill her own son who 'was a victim of the environment'. In her mind, her husband's neglect pushed him into wanting to seek someone else in his life as a mentor, and her pressure on him to succeed caused him to break down in need of release (he killed to feel calmer/distract himself from the stress). Because of this, and the fact that her maid betrays her (she doesn't have anyone else to trust but her family) she allows Hee Sung to coerce her into framing Hyun So. In her mind, because everyone else is terrible/fake because there is no one else who will protect her but her son and her husband she decides to team with them and keep protecting Hee Sung. It's all about guilt. Both the parents feel guilt, but the immense guilt they have is not knowing the influence of Do Min Seok in their son's life. 

Do Min Seok and his cruelty 

What Hee Sung tells his parents is that Do Min Seok forced him into the killing, he feared for his life, and so his only option was to kill. This is interesting if you do believe his perspective. We've seen Min Seok can be quite coercive as he tried to coerce Do Hyun So as well into hurting and maiming animals, he took him out on excursions waiting for potential to see if he was going to kill like him. Min Seok also approaches Hee Sung due to hearing about his incident with the brick, and he tells him that he's just like him. Reasons for why Hee Sung's parents would believe that Do Min Seok did do what their son says, is because of the cruelty of the murders,  and their refusal to accept his role in it that makes them see it as the only option/reason for why he did it.  However it is revealed that Do Min Seok did not need Hee Sung anymore once they captured Jung Mi-Sook, he wanted him to turn himself in and stop, but Hee Sung proceeded to kill him because he could no longer go back to his past life, and he now had a never-ending thirst for violence. And this brings the question why did he develop an appetite for murder? 

Baek Hee Sung and his thirst for violence 

The father figure

It's interesting when we analyse the scene when Min Seok warns Hee Sung not to bring his son into the conversation, his desperate need to frame Do Hyun So as the murder/accomplice, and why he reacts by killing Min Seok for wanting to abandon him. The intentions from Min Seok is clear; he understands that Hee Sung won't be in trouble because his parents are wealthy enough to acquit him for his murders if they pay enough. He's not selfishly abandoning Hee Sung, but he's giving him an excuse to stop killing. This goes against Hee Sung's own claim that Min Seok was abusive and forced him into the killing.  So why is he obsessed with framing Do Hyun So. From looking at the environment/nurture, he received so far before he met Min Seok, it could be possible that just as the neglect plagued his father, Hee Sung was plagued by it too. The first way Min Seok coerces Hee Sung into joining him is to speak about them as equal, he states whilst others see it frightening and weird to understand him, Min Seok is like him, and he should find others like him, so he's not lonely. Min Seok used Hee Sung's loneliness to bring him to his side.  One might guess that from learning and being mentored by Min Seok,  Hee Sung found a father in Do Min Seok, someone who let him be himself (aided his thirst to hurt/maim) and someone who understood him.  This can then explain why he is determined to punish/frame Hyun So for the murders; jealousy.  It seems that just as much as Hyun So in the future wants to be Baek Hee Sung the most to live, Hee Sung wanted the reverse to be like Hyun So, and have someone like Min Seok who understood his urges and thirst for violence but still cared.  The jealousy of Hyun So also can explain why he reacted and killed Min Seok.  Min Seok was about to abandon him whilst trying to protect Hyun So who isn't like them. Min Seok wanted Hyun So to be like him, he waited for chances to see Hyun So will want to kill (waiting for his skills to ripe) but overall still cared and wanted to protect Hyun So even till the end. This would have triggered jealousy in Hee Sung who didn't want to go back to his environment and wanted to continue killing. He didn't want to feel controlled or judged by others, so he got rid of Min Seok and resented him for making him a murder. His longing for a father figure might have pushed him to the edge, once he felt there was no hope of ever being normal/sane, and he didn't want to be. 

The stress

Again breaking down the other reason for why he was prone to follow Do Min Seok and found refuge under his mentoring and presence. He killed to relieve stress and tension. This could be relieving tension of the pressure on him to succeed in his studies or the anticipation of feeling suffocated that he must wear a mask to be seen as normal. (The crying and the unnatural act he put on when he was in front of the therapist.) Do Min Seok became the alternative to all that, and he developed an addiction to killing, a sort of release from it that he enjoyed and revelled in.  He became so addicted to it, that when Min Seok tried to stop it, he lost it and ended his life. He resented being this way, but he also enjoyed doing the act. Do Min Seok represented a sort of freedom for him, one where he didn't have to pretend or hide, or feel forced to live up to expectations of others. So his reaction in killing Do Min Seok makes sense when you look at the variables, he's not just a cold-blooded killer, he had incentives and reasons for why he did so. But this brings the question: Nature vs Nurture. 

The nature vs nurture

What made Baek Hee Sung a serial killer, was he born with it or was he made to become it. From how he reacts to his diagnosis/mostly when he fakes emotions, it's clear he was born with a disorder (psychopathic/sociopathic), his automatic reaction was to find something else to use as an excuse, and he himself refused to believe he was one, a psychopath. Two from everything we've analysed now, he's also made to become one, from meeting Do Min Seok and learning how to kill, to enjoying it, to wanting an escape from the environment he was from. Three the question, however, is if he hadn't met Do Min Seok would he be a killer. My answer is yes, it was only a matter of time before he found something else to latch on as an excuse for killing, so it's both, the environment he was nurtured in was toxic and would have made him search for ways to find release, but also with his money/ social reputation it would have made it easy for him to get away with his murders, but also he wanted to kill. He didn't feel any emotions in hurting people, so we can argue that he would have tried and hurt someone even without the help of Do Min Seok, as a reaction to something, when he felt threatened in the world, or he felt annoyed by someone, he would have ended up one way or another finding reason to kill. So Baek Hee Sung might be a victim of circumstance, but he isn't innocent.