#and neither is itv fuck you itv

[lowpolylobotomy]

wow i'd love to watch celebrity big brother [ TORY MP ] owch [ SKEEVY HOMOPHOBE ] yowch [ TERF ] yeeeeowch

[neptunium134]

Till Death Do Us Part analysis (eh?) pt2

For @midsomer4life​

If you have an episode you’d like me to drag through the mud, feel free to message me! I can’t promise they’ll happen quickly cuz I get my episodes off the ITV hub, which only shows the ones recently on ITV, and the YouTube channel that used to have most of the eps is now unavailable. I sincerely apologise, but I will note them down and get to them when I can!

Anyway, on with the ‘analysis’-

Jamie shazaming the jazz music like the Gen Z kid he is

Plus John being confused about modern tech

Very familial interaction-

JAMIE’S CHRISTMAS SOCKS

(I see what you did, ITV)

How much do you wanna bet they were a Christmas gift from John and Sarah?

John’s reactions to Jamie’s Christmas socks

Can I just say how relatable this is?

Again, I can’t be sure if it’s ITV relating to its target audience (Boomer and possibly Gen X) and making fun of Millennials and Gen Z people, or if it’s providing that personal identity for Millennials and Gen Z.

Either way, it’s funny

Plus John’s reaction

Neither wanting to be the one to ask Fleur to examine the rabbit

(Tho I also think she’s less likely to refuse Jamie, he’s too baby)

Also Jamie’s face pffft-

Jamie thinking he’s got away with not asking

And John elbowing him in the stomach

(I had almost 10 screencaps of just Jamie’s face from this scene, pfft)

Using the baby to get info

Plus John’s face

Plus the reactions

Jamie giving Fleur what looks like a type of forceps

(Forceps can also be used to help aid childbirth, so BABY-)

Their faces when Fleur talked about her ex-boyfriend

This is less about what is happening in the scene and more about the weather. 

In the first three shots, it’s raining, typical British weather, but the bottom one it’s clear skies. Either they were shot on different days, or the crew waited until the rain cleared to suggest a passing of time.

Serena says Juliet texted her about the argument with Laurel, yet this is the only text from that contact, which isn’t even saved.

This irks me and it’s a stupid thing to, but it does.

I mean he’s not wrong, it does sound scary.

Two mighty strong women who can be fucking terrifying when they want to be.

Also, family bonding.

Right, I think I’m gonna leave this part there, my Tumblr’s already moaning at me. I’ll do the next part tomorrow.

Hope you enjoyed it!

[snarkytiara]

A loooong post, and I know long essays can be annoying, so putting behind a cut, but I have some Thoughts when I see a post like this by @willandkate

- First: I’m not sure who you are trying to convince with your post? Also, you start with William’s 2016 statement, but then the rest of your post tries to make a case for why statements are not the BRF thing and that other gestures were made. The statement from William shows there is precedent for statements supporting Harry and Meghan, so your argument isn’t very strong.

- Small gestures were not going to cut it! The response to Meghan is on a whole other level, and that should have necessitated other measures IMO. If you are having to sum up all the small moments for fellow royal watchers, who pay attention to this stuff, how is anybody else even going to notice?

- Stop normalizing the press abuse of royal women. If your response to the abuse Meghan gets, is to sum up what other royal women dealt with in the past, you’ve lost the argument. The amount of abuse any of these women got is not ok, and you going straight to mentioning that abuse is a means to deflect from talking in depth about all the facets of what Meghan has been dealing with. A big issue in the royal fandom is still the amount of people unwilling to talk about and understand what only Meghan deals with within the BRF (racism and xenophobia). It makes some people uncomfortable to talk about it and it’s fucking sad. The BRF wasn’t ready for growth, but neither were some people in the royal fandom. It’s a big problem to continue to see this conflating of Meghan’s treatment with the treatment of other royal women in the BRF.

- The abuse Meghan gets is contributing to a national (and international lbr) debate about racism in the UK. POC in commonwealth countries are looking at this and it reflects badly on the BRF. This is a huge added element to the treatment of Meghan, that is not present in abuse that other royal women got in the past. That Kate got called ‘Waity Katy’ by the press, dit not lead to the possibility of negative sentiment in CW countries towards the monarchy. This was said last month:

“This week a senior Commonwealth figure told me that the tabloid treatment of Meghan – so clearly racist to observers in other parts of the world, while large parts of the British public remain in denial – is having a knock-on effect in making it harder for him to promote Britain abroad.” - Afua Hirsch, The Guardian

- You summing up all these perceived gestures, does not say anything about how Meghan (and Harry) experienced that ‘support’. Are you deciding for Harry and Meghan that it was enough? Did you really expect them to say otherwise during the engagement interview? And those small moments William and Kate spoke about them, what else were they going to say? On the surface, a show of support, but tells us absolutely nothing about how things are behind closed doors. Your post decidedly ignores that.

- After all this supposed support, Harry and Meghan still left. Fact. Is that all on them? The warm embrace of the Cambridges must have felt a bit too warm for them I guess. They couldn’t handle all the love. Your post lacks analysis into the possible reasons for Harry and Meghan and the shared blame of different parties in things coming to a head in this way.

- I also have the following question: if you are going to call out the Sussexes for overshadowing other royals, you have to be fair. What did you think of Kate launching her 5 question survey on the same day as Charles’ big speech in Davos? Is that not overshadowing him? Kate had been working on this for two years, but she just has to launch on the same day as a big Charles speech, that is important to him? Genuinely curious how you view that. And if a promo for Harry and Meghan’s documentary overshadows a Cambridge tour, seems to me that is a Cambridge problem. Harry and Meghan have no say over when ITV airs a promo. 

- Harry and Meghan didn’t deserve a statement of support, because they made the announcement that they were leaving, without consent? Weird take, as it’s odd to say in retrospect that they didn’t deserve a statement earlier in 2019, when things were at their worst, because at the start of 2020 they made an announcement. That’s after the fact. The BRF knew about Harry and Meghan entertaining the possibility of stepping back. Fact. There was a reason they felt the need to go public with it now, as it has been mentioned they were halted and sent away by courtiers when they were trying to discuss things with the queen and Charles. Your post doesn’t explore the reason for why Harry and Meghan may have done what they did and incorrectly places all of the blame on them. 

- I don’t know if you watched Harry and Meghan’s documentary? A couple obviously struggling, and Meghan’s hard time as a royal is not going to be made better simply by a pat on the back from Kate after Serena lost at Wimbledon. It’s wild that you, and others, think that is doing enough to show support.

- None of what you’ve said takes into account the KP press approach over the past couple of years. For example, any small gesture of support from Kate to Meghan gets severely undermined when KP is completely fine with a press narrative meant to embiggen Kate, at Meghan’s expense. It’s naive to believe that KP has had no part in that and I’ve yet to see a Kate/Cambridge fan accept that reality and own that it’s been happening. The reality has always been that the BRF are fine throwing each other under the bus. PR and actually thinking about how that makes them look has never been the strong suit of this family.

- You know what else undermines any small gesture of support for Meghan? The seemingly huge gestures of support from the queen to Andrew! If Liz keeps taking Andrew out and about, I sure as fuck am not still giving her kudos for taking Meg on an engagement back in June of 2018! And sure, it would’ve been smart optics for Harry and Meghan to visit Balmoral, and I would have advised them of that if I worked for them, but also; should they have visited before or after the queen was seen going to church with a smiling Andrew the day after Epstein died? Effectively showing she doesn’t give a fuck about her own image either. You could argue that isn’t a great advertisement for wanting to visit the queen.. Plus Harry and Meghan live(d) in Windsor, where they queen spends most of her time anyway.

- Speaking of the Queen, it is so often ignored how much influence she does have over the press. I’m sure over the years there has been many a time where she has intervened on behalf of the likes of Andrew. Why is it that Meghan has to have the stiff upper lip? Because this is what all royal women just have to face?

- I find it odd that you are only blaming Harry and Meghan for possibly feeling isolated. A struggling couple, dealing with a lot, should receive most of that blame? That darn Harry and Meghan are just being so difficult because they didn’t feel that William and Kate standing near them that time in Westminster Abbey was enough!1! They are so ungrateful. 

- Harry and Meghan leaving looks bad for the BRF, however you slice it. It reflects badly on them. Even if you don’t believe that, I’m sure you still feel that all this drama should have been prevented, for the sake of your faves? If this has been a topic of conversation with Harry and Meghan since last year, then why not also make it a topic of conversation how the rest of the BRF could and should have done more to prevent them choosing to leave? 

All in all, your post on this is very superficial and lacks nuance, but that tracks with what I’ve seen from most Cambridge fans. I know there is no point convincing you, and others, just like there is no point in your post trying to convince Sussex fans. But this had to be said and honestly I’ve been sitting on this since after the documentary aired.

[siousie]

oh lord this is a rude one

well at first I dreamt I was dating a member of Block B that doesn't exist. He was really skinny, feminine and rather ‘vanilla’. Anyway, I loved him to bits but he just bit not satisfy me, I’m sure you know in what department. Using his hands was a no-no, one position etc, just everything was boring, didn't last and he was stubborn and he was just bloody shit at it. I’m like “argh for the love of god, will you just do something else or I’m just going to fuck B-Bomb”. I just kept looking over at B-Bomb like so thirsty, like man he’s got a big arse... I don’t think my bf was very happy and neither was I, I felt terrible but I still just went and got me some B-Bomb. 

The second one, I was in a dingy in the middle of the ocean, for some reason i was able to tune into my TV and watched a show called Good morning Britain, its a news show on ITV in the morning, I saw a guy being interview and Zico stood next to him, In England! I’m thinking omg, Zico is in England! AND hes not social distancing, he’s stood right next to this random dude. There where groups of people behind him, a group of 5 or so. It was a little dark but it was lit by the news lights and the orange street lights, and snow falling down. I started recording it, Zico looked out of his mind like he was high, didn't say anything, think he was shy and not understanding what the interviewer was saying and then it was over but the camera was still looking around at the scene of the interview, I don’t think Zico knew but he was hugging a foreign blonde girl from behind and kissed her, it was snowing and they all had puffy coats on and cuddling to keep warm. By this time, i was at home for some reason still watching and everyone is freaking out. I went to the interview site because apparently I could travel fast, and he wasn’t there, But i saw Taeil, Kyung and Jaehyo all tied together behind the news crews’ portacabin, no idea why but I smiled and just walked on haha. Z wans’t there but some other fans were and we’re just like OMG ZICO HAS A FOREIGN (English) GIRLFRIEND?! WHOA

Man i preferred the first one most ¬¬

[anneboleyns]

also no one asked (ok well someone asked me like a week ago on curiouscat but) but here are my hopes n dreams for the downton abbey movie:

1) it will never happen but i want a romance storyline for thomas lol, the whole shebang: meet cute, random misunderstandings/obstacles, obstacle(s) is/are overcome, happy ending and a motherfucking KISS, honestly we have edith/bertie, mary/matthew, mary/henry, carson/hughes, andy/daisy, isobel/merton, anna/bates, all following this pattern and i WANT IT. i know it’s different with a movie and he can’t get the episodes-long arcs those couples got, but they could pull smth off. i think if it happened to be jimmy or phillip that would be nice but obviously not gonna happen as neither ed or charlie are included in the cast lol, and also like i said since for a movie it would have to be a condensed plot it’s probably for the best it won’t be jimmy bec that storyline would deserve much more nuance, sensitivity, care, and explanation than the limited screentime available in a single film could give

2) not to be a bitch but i want michael gregson to be alive sdfhdsiukhsdfiusdfkdsf like can you IMAGINE, jesus it would be so frustrating but so satisfying bec of course that would happen to edith lmaoooooooo also i want marigold to meet him??? idk i adore edith and bertie but i really liked michael. like picture edith and bertie and marigold sitting in their drawing room in their castle having tea and there’s a fire and it’s cute and cozy and then their butler comes in like “there’s a man downstairs m’lady, insisting on seeing you” and edith going “let him in Jives” (or whatever the butlers name is) and she looks at bertie and says “i wonder what on earth this is about” and the door opens and it’s MICHAEL GREGSON and we see edith’s shocked face and then it cuts to like, violet and isobel arguing about violet’s cook’s views on sheep farming or something

3) can tom branson be happy jesus christ like, his entire storyline has always revolved around other ppl, he always felt like a side character in his own plots ?????????? and then he’s just a vehicle for mary’s happiness or robert’s success or downton’s issues for mary/robert/tom to solve, so rarely is it ever about HIM and HIS happiness, even with bunting that was about riling robert up so it was something for him and cora to argue about and so daisy could get an education. i just want him to get some attention i love one (1) irish socialist (bonus points if the movie opens with him burning the Abbey down while holding bundles of marxist literature)

4) mary and barrow’s relationship in the movie should mirror robert and carson’s relationship throughout the series.... likewise george and barrow should mirror mary and carson’s...... like. carson isn’t butler anymore. and carson was In Strum Mental in the running of that household, not an episode goes by without robert or cora or mary or someone talking to carson, and barrow is butler now, his role, literally, needs to be bigger, and his relationship with the upstairs crew should be more clearly defined and featured. u can’t change my mind. also he’s so fucking adorable with george and sybbie. slightly related: i want thomas to mention sybil, anna said herself he knew her better than any of the downstairs crew and esp bec he’s close with sybil’s daughter i want that MENTIONED. thomas being Soft and Fond ??? sign me tf up

5) i can’t stand carson or robert and if they both make it thru the movie alive ima be pissed. they function in the narrative as ties to the pre-wwi world and it’s past time one or both of those misogynist fuckwads are dispensed with. like any time one of them is onscreen i’m just Die Die Die Die DIe. i HATE

6) i really want scenes of george, sybbie, and marigold together. they are the next generation of crawleys and i want them to kind of be together, the 3 of them, as a group, the way edith, mary, and sybil were in the first season. we had The Crawley Sisters as a group, now it’s time for The Crawley Cousins. i want all 3 of them to have their own personalities and teasing of each other the way mary edith sybil did. i know they’re only children and the movie only takes place 2 yrs after the s6 finale so they’re still very young, but it’s enough to lay the groundwork and plant suggestions abt how the 3 of them’s relationship will be. it would be adorable and satisyfing

7) now u all know i adore thomas and i want him to be happy and i really am thrilled he’s developed and isn’t just the one-dimensional antagonist he was in season 1, i’m happy he’s allowed himself to become a bit softer and has a found family that he finally feels at home with. WITH THAT SAID........... there is next to no tension among the downstairs characters anymore. we need someone to come in, rustle some feathers, have hideous hair ringlets..... if you’ve guessed Sarah O’Brien u’ve guessed right. now listen i know she’s awful but i think it could be great. imagine her waltzing in and basically being like s1 thomas, just snarking at everything. i bet she’d be all saccharine and fake like “so thomas you’re butler now that’s sooooo nice!!! and look at the bates’ baby, i’m soooo happy for you!!!” and no one believes her and she’s just sneaking around causing trouble. she’d probably get into it w baxter bec she’s so soft and nice, but when obrien tries to fuck w molesley or thomas baxter becomes this image:

i can also imagine obrien being really nasty with andy and daisy bec they’re so young and cute and obrien.... isn’t, and barrow gets fed up and comes in like “SO SARAH, YOU DROPPED ANY SOAP LATELY?” and she goes pale and shuts up after that idfghdfiuhdyf

8) i want richard carlisle to come back bec iain glen is a fox. no other reason

9) i want madeleine allsopp to come back bec after the shannara chronicles i miss poppy drayton’s face on my screen. no other reason

10) omg i almost forgot, i want baby bates to be friendly with the upstairs children and i want baby bates to love thomas just like the other kids do, it would be great bec bates and thomas still hate each other but they would both love that kid and it would be super cute. i’ve also always loved thomas’ weird lil relationship w anna, like they’re not FRIENDS but i feel like there’s potential between the 2 of them to be friends. thomas noticed first when anna was bruised after her attack and asked what happened, anna noticed when thomas was sick during the conversion therapy s5 plotline and kept asking him if he was ok and telling him to rest. them in the hallway together after sybil died. thomas saying “no anna’s not an enemy. but she’s incorruptible so we have nothing in common” to edna. so i feel since he’s so good with kids and they seem to love him, it would make sense for the bates baby to be the same, and it would alter the bates/anna/thomas dynamic in a possibly interesting and satisfying way

11) I Want Anna Bates To Be Happy And Laugh And Smile And Also Have Her Hair Down. I Am Tired Of Watching Anna Bates Suffer. If Fellowes Hurts Any More Hair On Her Head I Will Burn ITV Studios Down Just Test Me Julian.

[aikainkauna]

Movie meeeehm

Thanks to @nitrateglow for these!

1: A movie you enjoyed as a kid that you don't now

-Probs some comedy I'd find awfully sexist/racist/homophobic etc. now. But of course, I can't recall a specific one, probs because the experience is so deeply squicky and traumatic. Oh, wait, I know. I adored The Great Mouse Detective as a kid, but have heard so many "bleh" comments about it later that I don't want to ruin it by rewatching it as an adult. Why take a happy, cherished, pure and joyous memory away, especially as there are so few of those in my life anyway in proportion to the bad memories?

2: A movie you disliked as a kid that you like/love now

-Not a movie, but I was literally too fucking terrified to watch Doctor Who as a kid on cable, because the Tom Baker repeats they were showing terrified me with the title sequence alone. That empty stare and howling, diddly-duming music were enough to give me nightmares. So I only got into Who in my late teens!

3: Your favorite movie as a kid

-Define "kid." I went through several. I loved the Disney Robin Hood, of course, and at puberty, Wayne's World (yes) and The Princess Bride were my own cult movies, before I had anyone to fangirl them with. Ah, the pre-Internet era.

4: An actor/actress it took you time to warm up to

I remember being weirdly terrified and disturbed by Jeremy Brett as a kid, but then I felt the same about Bowie, and... well. Clearly it was my baby self not knowing WTF to do with all this stirring, restless energy that later turned out to be my skinnyandrogynousbisexualguy orientation thingy. And while I'd first seen Caligari and Casablanca as a teen in the early 90s, I wasn't ready for Connie until he pounced me in 2012. I would not have "got" him the same way and as hard until I was a grown-up, with a wide variety of experiences from many areas of life and a boatload of books/learning behind me. Just... no way.

5: A director it took you time to warm up to

-If anything, I've cooled off various directors I was impressed by when younger. So much of the auteur stuff gets wanky and self-imposing, in this Arrogant Artist Guy "look at my GENIUS big VISION and also insecurity about my penis size" kind of way. I like directors who can be warm and have fun and who show some real humanity (not wanky anvilly/kitchen sink-y sort of "humanity" either). Maybe Branagh? I found him a bit annoying as a kid, but now fap all over his stuff because now I'm old enough to Get It. He is the best kind of fanboy director; his geekiness is catching. Listening to his Thor commentary was a real eye-opener into my realising just how massive a nerd he is, and in a good, "one of us" kind of way.

6: Top five favorite soundtracks of your favorite movie composer

-There isn't just one! But Clint Mansell and Debbie Wiseman turn to gold everything they touch. Debbie especially is hugely unknown still, but she has this most amazing, swellingly Romantic music full of sweeping emotion that I just can't rec her enough. Do check her out; she'll give you goosebumps.

7: Three movies that defined your teen/childhood years

-I think I mentioned those already! But as a teenager, Bram Stoker's Dracula, La Reine Margot and Heavenly Creatures were formative. There were others I obsessed about way more than those, but they weren't as influential--it's more like they were massaging buttons I already had.

8: Sci-fi or westerns?

-Blake's 7! AKA "The Dirty Dozen in Space."

9: Are there any movies you own more than one copy of?

-Ahhahaha. AAAHHAHAHAHA! Of The Thief of Bagdad, I own: The Criterion clusterfuck with the awful clumsy cover someone had their 5-year-old draw, the Nordic DVD, the German Blu-Ray because I live on the edge (what with those Veidt Eye Closeups in HD being a hazard to any uterus) and at least three different digital copies. Because I'm me. I also own two digital copies and one DVD of Casablanca, three digital and one DVD of A Woman's Face and don't get me started on the British telefantasy I have on both DVD and VHS. I have spare copies of both the Caligari Masters of Cinema release and the ITV DVD of The Spy In Black, so I guess I should throw them at somebody.

10: Physical media or streaming?

-Neither. Video files firmly saved onto and run from my hard drive. Fuck streaming with its choppiness (ruins the viewing experience for me) and physical media are usually beyond my budget (unless I save up for a Connie DVD). Besides, I rip my favourite movie discs onto my HD anyway. I want to be able to gif that shit, dammit!

11: Are there any movies you watch on special occasions every year (Christmas, Halloween, birthdays, your mother's aunt's wedding anniversary, etc.)

-Used to do Nightmare Before Christmas on Halloween, but not any more. I still attempt ToB every Christmas. And I used to do All Through The Night with wine on my birthday, but as I can't tolerate alcohol anymore, the experience of Watching ATTN Drunk is no more. Someone start a Halloween tradition with me where we watch either The Student of Prague or Eerie Tales (or both) every year?

12: What movie do you most associate with your best friend(s)?

-Gosh, so few have stayed, so it's more like "movie that reminds you of a broken friendship," yay...?! I've learned to try and not associate movies with people that way any more, because it's more painful than it's worth. Connie is my best friend. He's like Krishna that way.

13: Name a movie adaptation you thought was better than or equal to its source material.

-LOTR put in more facial features and characterisation than Tolkien ever did, and did the tales far less fucking tediously. Imagine if you'd had to sit and watch hobbits walking through the countryside for 6 hours with barely anything happening?! Yeah...

14: What genres do your favorite movies tend to be?

-Historical, fantasy, Gothic Romantic, just Romantic stuff on the whole. More old than new movies these days. Why watch shitty modern chick flicks when I have far better characterisation and far less narrowly defined female lives in old-timey "women's pictures?" And guys who actually fucking shaved, dressed in clothes that were tailored for them instead of rented and saggy, whose bodily expressions weren't frozen for fear of "fagginess," and who weren't pumped full of 'roids.

15: Are you a fan of period dramas and if so, what era do you enjoy best?

-Yes. I love me some costume dramas, but I am seriously picky about them--most post-90s ones have been fucking awful and tend to feature shitty costumes and unkempt hair that would've sent real historical people to Bedlam, wobblycam from hell, vomit-inducingly excessive modernisation to be "edgy", and that one painfully skeletal bint they shove into every period drama ever these days, so it's... slim pickings for a history nerd, these days. There aren't many good ones set in the 17th century/Baroque era, which I love the most: the two Baroque dramas I wholeheartedly love are both series. (The Devil's Whore and By The Sword Divided.) The Angeliques and Musketeer adaptations are riddled with flaws, but there are some glowing bits within. As for The Golden Age of Islam... bloody hell, there really aren't that many good ones out there, are there?! ToB and Jodhaa Akbar and Disney's Aladdin, obviously. La Reine Margot isn't "my" period but it's great, as is Dangerous Liaisons (also not my period)--those are so fucking perfect. And the Connie period dramas, well... I think of them as primarily "silent movies" or "old movies," actually. Of those, The Student of Prague, ToB and The Wandering Jew are the best "costume" ones, IMHO. (I'd probs enjoy Lucrezia Borgia and Carlos and Elisabeth way more, were the copies we have not so smudgy.)

16: Name a movie you love that you would recommend to just about everyone.

-Ah, but we know there are always cynical cunts out there who'd give even Casablanca two stars, so what's the point? I'd still recommend it, though. And The Lion King, I guess.

17: Name a movie you love that you consider an acquired taste.

-Honestly, I'm thinking of telly rather than movies again. You will pry my cherished copy of The Time Monster from my cold, dead hands. Does The Devil of Winterborne count as a movie or TV? That's how far back my love for Mark Gatiss goes. Um... Don't Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood makes me fucking cry with laughter (the comedic timing is what does it. *beat* "Ain't dat some shit!"). Of Connie's oeuvre, yes, I know Bella Donna is rubbish, but Connie and Mary are SIZZLING and horny and juicy and it's Valid as a BDSM porn movie. And the novel is actually good.

18: Name a film you like directed by/starring a filmmaker/actor you normally don't care for.

-Not so much actor/director, but I did *not* expect to love Thor as much as I did, because I expected a dumb popcorn movie but got great adventure cinema with a touch of Shakespeare instead. I really am not the right audience for regular Marvel features at all, before or after. Fuck Marvel up its dumb macho Republican ass. But Thor is fucking beautiful and operatic and poetic and majestic and Pagan and shit. Branagh knows what I like.

19: Name a movie that blew your mind.

-A Woman's Face (1941). Because. Holy. Fuck. How can I keep on finding yet more details in it six years after first watching it, having watched it countless times by now?! And obvs all the other stuff, like the shockingly good female POV, amazing and complex woman protagonist, amazing writing, amazing ensemble cast, amazing direction, amazing lighting, amazing evil Torsten Slinkypussy Barring and The. Goddamn. Attic. Scene.

20: What genre mash-up would you most love to see that either hasn't been done yet or hasn't been done enough?

-Feminist-savvy historical romance with fantasy elements and hot explicit sex that's not shit. Basically, like the stuff you see in my fics, but better paced and woven into coherent adventure movies.

21: The coolest movie you've ever seen

-Too, too many. But Bogie was the coolest. And Claude Rains had the best acting skills. And Conrad Veidt was Conrad motherfucking Veidt. So what with those three mountains of coolness all converging under the Moroccan sky, I'm sure it's safe to say "Casablanca."

[cielospeaks]

tbh i think w go what it is, is early on there wasnt much super complicated lore abt the series- i mean there was, there always has been but it wasnt as prominent imo. theres just the classes, and like “any real or fictional historical/mythology/whatever 100 years or older person can appear” thing. (which is ironic bc theyve broken that w voyager being from the 70s and therefore too young, but then again theyve also broken the god rule probably). and bc that was the thing i was rlly hyped like “oh boy i cant wait to see himiko! or ikkyu!” and even the leak list ones i was hyped for, like ivan, bc i wanted to see what theyd do with them.

as opposed to now, there are literally no consistent rules and its literally just “whatever turns on the head writer is canon and anything else isnt” and its super annoying. i dont even mean like suggestive things (the thing abt shutting down artists if their character designs werent uncomfortably sexual enough is really unscrupulous, but thats less my point), just like the constant fake angst and abuse of certain characters for the sake of the plot. its kinda like that old “x character has depression and thats why theyre beautiful” that is just utter bullshit and insulting. they wanted to make all shakespeare characters fictional despite that many are real people. whatcha gonna do look at richard the thirds real dead corpse and say “no ur in a play so you dont exist” and just faze his skeleton out of existence? thats what they did to taira no kagekiyo. theyve had characters that were “not real person” before like kojiro and robin (tbh robin makes sense, bc its uncertain if robin hood really existed). i remember being pissed off abt hl bc they said neither are “strong enough” to be summoned as a servant (first of all fuck you, lobo at least is a real person, er wolf) but at least that isnt fucking erasing a real ass dead persons existence. the sal thing makes sense, what with the fictional “salieri” from amadeus/ect being more well known, but that fucking contradicts the “shakes charas are fictional so they dont exist” thing also. for all purposes fictional salieri is fictional so sal should be free from that inaccurate nonsense. heck vlad too, if we’re gettin technical, that homeboy shouldnt have to deal with any vampire shenanigans bc dracula is a fucking fictional character, even in universe.

besides that, just the writing/tone is rlly. no. a lot of the time. the story always assumes you sympathize w characters over others, and is really skewed- maybe not as much as f-h is regarding the direct main cast (the forced shipping w the worst person ever who fucking treats you like his plaything) but def w other characters (5.2 you can eat ass and heck off). i dont give af abt anyone in lb6 for instance, most of my caring abt garebear is based on just regular plain gareth bc thats the one i know. they didnt give any characters any impact and made most of the major characters just npcs rather than even based on a legend like the knights (how cool would itve been if they had like....the demon from freischutz and like... other somewhat mythological monsters instead. i mean like i have puck already, what if they had like a dullahan or the fucking loch ness monster, or ariel from the tempest, and just had an awesome british isles monster party? we couldve had it all)

[grapsandclaps]

Ladies and Gentleman, my name is not @oggypart3, and I do not have the (greatest) Clap (in the business)...but I am @KingGazOfMadine (I am not Raymond Rowe) and I am here to bring you a round up of show Number 55.5 in #the80ShowYear (Andy's show number 55.5 by the way. I'm only on 34)

PROGRESS Chapter 52: Vote Pies was a show that was originally not on the Wrestling Schedule for us Manchester fans, so 4/5 of British Wrong Style (Andy / Geoff Ogden, Chris Linay and Ben Corrigan) along with top Pigeon Fan Shauna Askew made the decision to book tickets to go and see Tidal Wrestling, across the penines in Leeds (You can read Andy's review of that show right here, at Graps and Claps *cheap pop*) and therefore once the show was announced, had to miss the event.  For me personally, I've never been to a Tidal show or watched any of their shows, and had made the decision to take a weekend off until the PROGRESS announcement, so I was all in for this event. Must admit, it was a bit odd to be at a show without the others. I think of all the shows I've been to this year, only ATTACK in Cardiff I've done without any combination of Andy / Geoff / Shauna / Chris / Ben

Now then, unlike Andy, I did not make an early start for this show to take in some fine ales beforehand. No, my decision was to stay at home and watch Day 5 of the 27th annual G1 tournament in New Japan (should point out here, Tesco had a cracking deal on 6 cans of Dr Pepper for £1.77 which I had picked up the day before, so my choice of drink for the G1 was Dr Pepper coming in at approximately 30p per can. We may be living in Tory Britain, but you can still find a bargain when you try), and then jump on the #GrapsBus at around 1pm for a show thats doors opened at 1.30pm. I arrived in town a little before 2pm and did have time to meet up with t-shirt designer to the stars and future wrestling superstar (HOWAY) Jimmy Nailz at the regular Wetherspoons on Oxford Road. £1.99 for a large Lemonade, and I was good to go and ready for the show, but not before conversations on whether soup should be classed as an actual meal or not, and apparently certain sectors of Mormons aren't allowed hot drinks. Not because of caffeine (which apparently some Mormons are not allowed) but just because of the temperature. So like, they can have a cup of coffee / tea but only after it's cooled down. Please don't take this as fact and quote me on this, but that was what I learned yesterday and have done 0 research into it's validity, but will pass it off as legit if ever needed.

On to the show. Before the regular Darth Vader / Drake intro, we were told over the microphone there would be one last song before this, which was a Linkin Park track, dedicated to Chester Bennington who had unfortunately passed away a few days prior to this. Following this, we got the regular Jim Smallman intro (Hiya - We Sold Out - It's Your Round - 7 matches, 4 in the first half, 3 in the second) but were then introduced to a fan that had apparently made a bet with Jim that the Manchester show wouldn't sell out as quick as usual (Odd bet to make?) and because Jim had lost (Who bets against their own team!?) said fan was allowed in the ring to have his photo taken with Jim (This is an odd bet to make. Just go and ask Jim for a photo before the show starts when he's walking around the ring. He's a nice chap and will more than likely say "Yes") at which point Jim asks said fans girlfriend to come into the ring to take the photo. Jim and fan prepare for photo, fans missus gets camera out...BUT WAIT...the fan is down on one knee and has pulled an engagement ring outta nowhere (Ok, that's why this all seemed so ridiculous...Jim didn't bet against his own company!!!) and he's asked his missus to marry him. She's in a wrestling ring, with 700 of us watching, she literally has no chance of saying No, and thus she says....YES!!!! Cheers aplenty, now get out of the ring and enjoy the first 3 hours of your engagement surrounded by people who want to call Zach Gibson a Scouse Bastard.

Should also note here that the ring looked a bit low, and as we were discussing this, it was pointed out that T-Bone was on the show, and this was in fact T-Bone's ring (more to this later). Plus, pint of Lemonade here at the venue was £3.50. Not sure what kind of Lemonade they have at The Ritz for it to cost an extra £1.51 over Wetherspoons Lemonade, but it didn't taste that much better. That's Tory Britain for you (Cheers Andy)

Now to the wrestling....or is it...? Turns out there are balloons in the ring, and some "Happy Birthday" signs up, and out first is El Ligero, with 2 birthday hats hanging from his horns. Turns out it's Dave Mastiff's birthday, and as he still doesn't have any entrance music (or at least not any that can be shown on the WWE Network, for just £9.99 a month), the Bastard comes out to 700 of us singing Happy Birthday (no trombone this time Andy, sorry about that). Out come their opponents for the night Extra Talent(ed) and the super over, merchandise machines #CCK We get the introductions out of the way, and then it turns out one of the Extra Talent(ed) lads has a birthday card for Mastiff. Jim reads it out as "Dear Dave, Happy Birthday, from Jeff Jarrett and everyone at ITV Wrestling" at which point Mastiff cleans house with German Suplexes aplenty, including German Suplexing Kid Lykos over the top rope into Chris Brookes and the Extra Talent(ed) lads. This 3 way Tag Match included a grand total of 0 tags, and was just all action from start to finish, but included a few botched moments including Lykos pulling down the top rope for one of the Extra Talent(ed) lads to go over, only for him to still fall out of the ring between the top and middle rope, and the same lad receiving the Brookes assisted Code-Breaker, and then not staying in place for Brookes to senton him...but Brookes did it anyway coz he's Chris fuckin Brookes and he can do what he wants. Talking of which, Chris Brookes hit a knee on one of the Extra Talent(ed) lads and a kick on the other, in totally seperate moments, and both of them made me think that Extra Talent(ed) maybe owe him money or something.  The ending happened, not entirely sure what happened, but #CCK won, Roberts called for the bell and said he'd counted 3, the bell never came, Jim's mic was turned off so he couldn't announce the winners, and some people were trying to continue the match. Not sure what was supposed to happen, but #CCK got the win, and then Chris Brookes said they didn't want a win like that, and challenged Extra Talent(ed) to another match next week in Camden. Kid Lykos got the mic and was ready to tell them what he thought, but Brookes took the mic off him and told him to "Shut the fuck up Lykos"

Next up we had Mike Bird vs T-Bone in some big lads wrestling. Big Lads as in guys who actually weigh over the weight limit for the Atlas title and not David Starr or Fred Yehi. Talking of David Starr, question for you. If David Starr wins a match, and neither me or Andy sees this match, did David Starr still win a match? For me, it's a no, and old Canvasback Dave remains winless. Anyway, Bird and Bone started off quite tasty with them getting in each others face during the intros, and then a bit of pushing and shoving until T-Bone gave Bird a lovely looking headbutt. This was standard 2 big lads beating each other up, but the crowd was a bit quiet for it. Most local fans obviously know T-Bone from the likes of FutureShock, PCW and GPW and were getting behind him, and there was the odd Ginger Jesus chant too, but I don't know if it was the awkward finish of the last match, but the crowd weren't too into this one. I even tried to get an Ogden special clap going but that died on it's arse. T-Bone ended up the victor, and personally, I'm hoping we get a T-Bone vs Walter match for the Atlas title at some point. T-Bone did only lose 1 match during the Atlas Division series, and that just happened to be a Semi-Final match unfortunately.

Toni Storm was up next defending the PROGRESS Womens title against Laura Di Matteo. Again, this seemed to start with quite a flat crowd, but we were treated to a decent match that finally woke the crowd up and got everyone going. There was quite some chanting on behalf of Laura Di Matteo, which is quite surprising really. One, becuase Toni Storm is absolutely ace, and two, because Laura Di Matteo is obviosuly very talented in the ring, but post-Jinny feud (is that feud actually over?) there really isn't anything there with Laura Di Matteo to care about, other than the fact she's one of the ones who come up from the ProJo. She just doesn't seem to connect, and I'd happily listen to any of her fans to tell me what it is that makes them get behind her. Cracking match though between these 2, and Toni got the win following her Piledriver she's been using lately.  Laura was visibly in tears outside the ring afterwards, not sure if that's gonna set up a storyline or something with her?

Onto the first half Main Event, which was 2 blokes I've heard of vaguely recently. Travis Banks vs Matthew Riddle.  2 of the absolute best right now, and these 2 did not disappoint. Riddle came out first, cool as fuck as always, and then Trav came out second and he was ready to scrap, getting right in Riddles face before the intros had even begun. These 2 chopped, kicked and suplexed each other like there was no tomorrow. Thought Riddle would still be recovering his chest after what Walter did to him in Birmingham, but nope, there were chops a plenty. I can imagine these 2 having a much better match than the one they put on here, but this was still a really good match and one to look out for on Demand. At one point it was like watching Kane vs Undertaker at Wrestlemania, when Matt Riddle kicked out of a "Tombstone" at 1, grabbed Travis, hit him with a jumping "Tombstone" at which point Trav kicked out at 2. Had to point out here that moves where you get dropped on your head are a lot less effective in 2017 than moves where you have to slap your knee for effect. However, neither Travs or Riddles tombstones actually drop the opponent on their head, therefore making them even less effective. Finish to this match came when Pete Dunne made an appearance on the rampway to distract Trav, and Riddle managed to hit Banks with a jumping knee when he returned his focus to the match, but was at this point out for the count.

Half time break, and due to arriving at the venue late, this was the perfect time to pick up that sweet new #CCK merch. Turns out I could now go 6 of the 7 days of the week wearing a different #CCK / Chris Brookes t-shirt. #CCK literally becoming the UK Young Bucks.

Second half of the show brought us a 4 way match between No Fun Chief Deputy Dunne, Scouse Bastard Zach Gibson, Ben's Favourite Chuck Mambo and Shauna's Number 1 Heel Jack Sexsmith. Match started with introductions for Sexsmith and Mambo, only for Chief Deputy Dunne to take over microphone duties and inform us that as long as we don't have fun, we won't get hurt. Gibson took the microphone from Dunne here though, and did his usual schtick, ending with how he is the Premier Wrestling talent in England, and he's in a match with a surfer, a policeman and an absolute joke. This was a fun 4 way, nothing to really shout about, but still enjoyable. Sexsmith picked up the win with a cheekly roll up on Gibson, meaning Sexsmith has beaten Gibson here and at Super Strong Style now.

Next up was PROGRESS Champion Pete Dunne going against Eddie Dennis, who has got himself some new shorts to go with his full time schedule.  I liked them personally. As for the match, this was an absolute cracker of a match.  The longer it went on, the better it got, and I started to get the impression that maybe Pete Dunne would lose via DQ, therefore having to defend his title agsinst Eddie in a second match. Unfortunately, it did not go this way. Eddie had Pete Dunne pinned for the 3 count following the NEXT STOP DRIVER!!!!! but unfortunately Joel was down at this point and did not make the count. Peter rolled out the ring, and as Eddie followed him got blasted by Peter's Sledgehammer (I thought these were only kept under WWE rings...?) rolled back into the ring, Pedigree and then The Bitter End, for Peter to pick up the win. Talking point here though was Eddie Dennis looking absolutely phenomenal. He's always been good when I've seen him, but having recently gone full time, he's got a lot more serious and looks a lot better for it.

Main Event time gave us British Strong Styles Tyler Bate and Trent Seven defending their PROGRESS Tag Team titles against current IWGP Heavyweight Tag Champions, War Machine (I am in no way related to Raymond Rowe by the way). Following the introductions, Jim declared that he was making this match a Tornado Tag Rules match. If you've never seen War Machine wrestle in PROGRESS before, then you were in for a treat without knowing it, however if you have seen War Machine in PROGRESS before, then you knew this was gonna be awesome...and it was. Match started with War Machine offering the code of honor handshake, BSS doing the Triple H, but turning and spitting it in War Machines eyes and then mockingly shaking their opponents hands, only for War Machine to hold on, and beat the piss out of the 2 of them. This match was everything you'd expect from a War Machine match. Don't think it was as good as the London Riots match from Birmingham a few weeks ago, but still a cracker and up there as Match of the Night for this show. They wrecked the joint throwing their opponents into the ringside chairs, along with being thrown themselves. At one point Tyler Bate and Ray Rowe were wrestling in the crowd right next to us. Tyler hit Rowe, and then proceded to do his best Karate stance and declared himself Bruce Lee. If you want to see the video of this, look up Ian Crompton on Twitter (@iancrompton89) and ask him to share his video. Also, Tyler Bate managed to squat Hanson. Like that shouldn't even be a surprise anymore that Tyler is freakishly strong, but it still is amazing. Now then, earlier I mentioned how the ring in use was T-Bones ring. During this match, I noticed T-Bone up on the balcony watching the match. However, what I also noticed was that when Trent and Tyler did a double Superplex from the top rope to Hanson, Chris Brooker was up there too, putting a hand on T-Bone's shoulder as if to say "It's ok. You're ring survived it. It's going to live another day". BSS got the win in this match, when Trent hit the pedigree on to Hanson (I think) on top of the IWGP tag title. War Machine gave a post match speech about being disappointed they weren't raising the PROGRESS Tag Titles, and how they've wrestled everywhere but we are the craziest fans they've ever known. Standard really.

Post-Show, it was fuckin pissing down and I'd only gone and decided today was a good day to come in just shorts and t-shirt. Headed back over to Wetherspoons with Jimmy Nailz and Dave Hackney (JHFC represent!) to grab some food (Chilli Dog and Lemonade for £6.99, but could also go for an alcoholic beverage instead for £7.99 if that's what you prefer) and talk about the show. As we were finishing up, Matt Riddle casually strolls into Wetherspoons, cool as fuck (as always) and with around 50% of the Wetherspoons audience having all just come from the show, suddenly Wetherspoons broke into "BRO! BRO! BRO!" chants, with Matt Riddle looking absolutely happy as larry, looking around and smiling at everyone, and other customers just not having a clue what was going on. Following this, it was home time on the 38 bus back to Little Hulton, and was back home for 9pm

Apologies that there's no puns in this one. I'm not on Andy's level for this. But I would like to finish by saying it was really nice to go to a wrestling show to see good friends and also some wrestling, without a fuckin toy pigeon in sight.

#grapsandclaps

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: November 2019

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of November 2019 to make sure that they are never forgotten.

In the mind of proven liar Boris Johnson it was a competition between him and David Cameron to see who could give less of a shit about various parts of the UK being flooded, and of course Johnson “won” that contest by not deigning to pay it the slightest bit of attention for over a week, comfortably beating Cameron’s previous record of not caring by a couple of days

It appears that Jeanine Áñez Chávez believes the 1970s was the height of South American politics considering her policies are a grab bag of every dictator of the decade, from American interests installing her as president over the democratically-elected head of state in much the same way that Pinochet became Chilean leader, while her outright demonising of the indigenous people almost identical to Stroessner’s policies in Paraguay during the same period

There’s a very good reason why the advisors of Prince Andrew expressly told him to not do any TV interviews about the links between him and Jeffrey Epstein, that reason being that when he ignored their advice and thought he could handle a TV interview about his links to Jeffrey Epstein it was a complete train wreck for everyone but the Woking branch of Pizza Express, which in turn caused his advisors to quit

Not only did proven liar Boris Johnson duck out of Channel 4′s live debate on climate change - just like he ducked out of Channel 4′s leaders debate earlier that same week - but he dispatched a camera-crew toting Michael Gove and his fucking father to debate on his behalf, both of whom were promptly told to bugger off by Channel 4 as neither are the Tory leader.  So of course, the immediate response to this was to threaten to pull Channel 4′s broadcasting license

...and the following day Stanley Johnson appeared on Victoria Derbyshire to call the British public illiterate, because in his mind telling the public they can’t even spell Pinocchio means they cannot compare his son to the character

Says a lot that the Conservatives stooped to doctoring footage of an interview with Keir Starmer on the very first day of the election campaign, trying to convince people that Labour’s position on Britait is difficult to understand, and this clip was shared by MPs such as Matt Hancock to establish that lying through their teeth is the first card they intend to play 

...although this didn’t look so clever when James Cleverly ran and hid rather than face questions about this from Sky News the following day, having previously had his backside handed to him on Good Morning Britain of all shows earlier that morning, receiving the empty chair treatment as a result.  He had no issues scuttling off to his LBC safe space where Julia Halfwit-Brewer would pander to his ever lie an hour later (and not, as Tory cheerleaders try and claim, at the same time Kay Burley was lying about him being at Sky News’ studio)

...and it wasn’t long before the BBC turned their hand to doctoring footage, though, when they took it upon themselves to edit out proven liar Boris Johnson laying a wreath at the cenotaph the wrong way up and replace it with a clip from 2016, and when called out for it claimed it was a “production error” as if it’s a perfectly normal mistake to remove a clip from footage shot by the BBC and replace it with a clip shot by the BBC three years ago that would have obviously been readily available in the edit bay as news editor Rob Burley accused anyone noticing the obvious bollocksness of the official line as “conspiracy theorists”

...and it wasn't the last time Rob Burley bullshat the public that week, either, as his response to the BBC using the caption “Broadband ‘Communism’” when discussing Labour’s play to make broadband free he took to Twitter to try and shout down anyone suggesting the BBC were outragiously biased in their framing of the story by saying the BBC weren’t doing the framing in spite of the caption “Broadband ‘Communism’” being added to BBC footage by a BBC editor at the BBC studio

...and yet the BBC weren't done with their Pravda approach to broadcast journalism, given how proven liar Boris Johnson’s claim during the leader’s debate that the public can trust him drew actual laughter from the audience, yet in every instance where the BBC have replayed that clip since the laughter has been edited out

Tory sociopathy continued unabated when Jacob Rees-Mogg stated in an interview that the responsibility for those who died in the Grenfell Tower fire didn’t lie with the landlords covering the building with highly-flammable cladding, but entirely at the feet of those who died for lacking common sense.  The only bright spot of the interview (or between his ears) is he neglected to follow up with the blatant attempt to shift the blame onto the fire brigade instead of those who just so happen to have slashed the number of firefighters and fire stations since 2010

...but don’t worry, in rushed Laura Kuenssberg to describe the comments as a “gaffe” as opposed to, say, a deeply-crass piece of victim blaming that is only possible if you see those of a lower social class than you as being sub-human

Nothing sums up the Tories better than the Tory Press Office changing its Twitter handle to “FactCheckUK” ahead of the first leader’s debate in a blatant attempt to mislead the public - and the fact that Dominic Raab tried to defend their doing this by saying nobody cares about social media only serves to beg the question why, if nobody cares about social media, why the Tories would stoop to using social media in a clear attempt to mislead the public

...yet that isn't the most charmless thing Dominic Raab did that particular week: that would be slapping the parents of Harry Dunn with legal costs fas if they’d actually done a single damn thing about Anne Sacoolas fleeing back to US soil after killing their son in a hit and run incident, and because he hadn’t punched down quite enough he promptly made sure Dunn’s family were locked out of a local hustings so they couldn’t give him both barrels 

...nor was it the last time the Tory Press Office was caught flooding the internet with misinformation, as they launched a website purporting to be the Labour election manifesto which was just a long list of outright lies and smears 

Nobody appears to have told Michael Gove that campaigning was suspended in the wake of the London Bridge attack, given he showed up to a campaign rally in Cobham that evening - sort of like he did in the wake of Jo Cox’s murder in 2016

The good news for WWE is their most recent biannual show in Saudi Arabia wasn’t the in-ring trainwreck the previous three have been.  The bad news is they found a new way to be at the centre of a PR shitstorm when the majority of the wrestlers for the show were stranded in Saudi Arabia and having to pay for their own flights home while management plus a handful of preferred wrestlers flew home without them, and only made the situation worse by issuing the usual passive aggressive ass-covering statement 

Not only has Matt Hancock spent the entire month being nothing more than an ersatz James Cleverly, whose role is to keep pumping outright lies and fabrications into the Twittersphere, but he also demonstrated the Tory debating tactics perfectly at a hustings where he kept repeating his repeatedly-debunked lie about nursing numbers until the audience were outright laughing at him, at which point he played the “Layber anteesemmatizm” card...at which point the crowd utterly tore into him for using such an obvious tactic

As if Jo Swinson wasn’t already farting deluded gibberish out of her face, it suddenly occurred to her that she’s a victim of oppression given she threatened legal action against ITV for not inviting the leader of the fourth-largest political party in the UK to the leader’s debates, and if that wasn’t all she constantly whined about Jeremy Corbyn and proven liar Boris Johnson being white men under the impression she doesn’t fulfill 50% of the victim complex she insists on whinging about

Good to see that the BBC are keeping their viewers educated, informed and entertained with their election coverage by pretending that proven liar Boris Johnson’s visit to Addenbrooke’s hospital didn’t happen as showing any footage of his visit would mean broadcasting the jeers he received from staff and patients alike, but they did find the time and effort to accuse Jeremy Corbyn of politicising the NHS - because as we all know, proven liar Boris Johnson has never used the NHS as a pawn in his political games

Somebody should probably tell the Liberal Democrats that telling the Labour  candidate for Portsmouth South to step aside so they can win the seat and bluster about how if they don’t will had the Tories the victory is not the smartest strategy to adopt when the Labour candidate is the sitting MP and they’re basing their assumptions off a solitary opinion poll

...equally telling is how the Liberal Democrats responded to Tim Walker stepping aside in Canterbury, which is another marginal held by a pro-Remain Labour MP: they immediately responded by saying they would field another candidate in the constituency and saying they would stand against Labour in every seat - which is interesting, because they sure as hell aren’t standing against the Tories in every seat... 

Not only did Kwasi Kwarteng pull a figure of £1.2tr out of his backside to describe Labour spending plans, both believing it would be spent in one lump sum while neglecting to mention his made-up figure is still significantly lower than the nine years of Tory-incurred debt, but then he claimed he wouldn’t bandy about figures when asked what the Tory spending budget was costed at

I’m sure Michael Gove thought he was being oh-so-clever when making as much as he could about Jeremy Corbyn being heckled for being a terrorist sympathiser by a church minister.  However, all he actually did was signal boost the fact that Richard Cameron had a history of Islamophobic and homophobic tweets, which saw him promptly suspended by the Church of Scotland

At first it looked as if Heidi Allen had coined a smart idea with the Remain Alliance...until a more cursory glance revealed that the basis of this alliance consisted of the Lib Dems standing aside for the Greens in seats where Labour had majorities of 5000+ at the last election while the Greens stand aside in Labour marginals, at which point the Greens started announcing they would stand aside in the seats they were designated to support Labour

Of course Ian Austin slithered out of the woodwork to rant about Jeremy Corbyn and telling all Labour supporters to vote Tory - and equally unsurprising was how it was the BBC giving him a free platform to do so while neglecting to mention that Austin has been working as a Tory-appointed trade envoy for six months, thus making his endorsement more than a little bit questionable 

Who knew that Richard Spencer was a racist piece of shit?  Well...anyone who actually paid attention for the last three years, rather than call him the dapper face of the right while ignoring what he was saying at any point

I’m sure in the mind of Jo Swinson it was a “win” when she took the SNP to court over their claims she was given a bung by a fracking company when in fact she was given a bung by the boss of a fracking company...but in the mind of everyone else what she did was clarify that the bung exists, that she accepted it, and by taking the matter to court she brought it to the forefront

The Lib Dems’ priorities became clear when Sam Gyimah outright lied and blamed the Labour candidate for Kensington for the Grenfell fire yet drew no comment from the party whatsoever, just like the Liberal Democrats posting election pamphlets riddled with one lie after another through people’s doors draws no comment from the party whatsoever...yet when a satirical article suggested that Jo Swinson kills squirrels for sport the party went off the deep end to issue one denial after another in record time

Smirking halfwit Priti Patel had an interesting take on the drastic increase in poverty that’s happened in the last nine years of Tory rule: it’s definitely not the fault of the Tory government and entirely the fault of the local councils - and of course, you’d be a fool or a communist to point out that local councils have had their funding cut for the past nine years by...well look at that, it would appear the Tory government are the ones who have spent the past nine years cutting the budgets of local councils

It says all you need to know about Michael Gove that, when confronted with evidence that the Tories have built approximately 200,000 less social houses than the 200,000 they pledged to build, the only response he could think of was “But Jeremy Corbyn...” as if that’s a valid defence for the Fyre Festival doing a better job of providing accommodation than the Tories have

It seems the Lib Dems forgot to lock Ed Davey in a cupboard for the duration of the election campaign as every time he popped up he justified the term “Yellow Tories” first by saying that he hoped that austerity would continue, and then by saying the Lib Dems would gladly go into coalition with the Tories if a second referendum was dangled in front of their noses

It’s obvious that Israel Folau has decided he may as well be an alt-right troll at this point, considering he used the bushfires that have left at least six dead as an excuse for a little gay-bashing on Twitter

It was dickheaded enough that Gideon Bull would resort to calling a Jewish councillor “Shylock” - but to try and cover his backside by claiming he didn't know that the character Shylock was Jewish only served to hand several dozen feet more rope to him before it dawned on him that stepping down was what he should’ve done in the first place 

As there weren’t enough subjects for Dinesh D’Souza to be pig ignorant about, he decided to wade into the debate about climate change and say there is no need to be afraid because fifty years ago fearmongers were afraid of nuclear winter and that hasn’t happened, seemingly under the impression that nuclear winter is related to the weather and not something minor like global thermonuclear war...

At some point Billy Corgan needs to accept that Jim Cornette is only doing damage to his relaunched NWA brand, especially after an episode of NWA Power had to be pulled and swiftly re-edited as they had to remove a joke Cornette made about the Ethiopian famine from the show’s commentary

Somebody at FC Den Bosch thought it was a good idea to try and claim that it wasn’t racist abuse that Ahmad Mendes Moreira heard from Den Bosch fans but “crow sounds.”  Funnily enough, Den Bosch were quick to say that, actually, that’s exactly what Moreira heard - presumably around the same time whoever thought the “crow sounds” defence was hearing the door slam shut behind them having been sacked by the club for general bellendedness

Indie wrestling nobody Matt Wade made sure he’ll stay a nobody by refusing to wrestle an opponent because they are black, outright stating that to the promoter this before being booted out of the show and blackballed from the promotion

The eldritch corruption known as Disney made an obvious mis-step when unleashing their nuclear option on all popular culture they don't own that is Disney+ by deciding that classic episodes of The Simpsons would be blown up into fullscreen even though fullscreen didn’t exist when they were made - which only served to crop out large parts of each and every scene, taking various visual gags with it

Footballers can thank Harry Arter for perpetuating the belief that they’re all thick after he took to Twitter to say he wouldn’t be voting Labour at the next election because of how Jeremy Corbyn lied when campaigning for Leave about how much the NHS would receive after the UK left the European Union.  That sentence would make a lot of sense if you changed the name “Jeremy Corbyn” for “Boris Johnson”, but rather than admit the flub instead Arter deleted his Twitter

Attention-seeking nonentity Rachel Riley really should consider her choice of attire, because when your attire features a image of Jeremy Corbyn on an anti-apartheid march doctored to say he's racist it not only makes you look like you have an unhealthy obsession with shrieking at people in the hope that they agree with you, but it also makes you look like somebody who thinks that the South African apartheid is something you can joke about

So nice of Stan Collymore to state that, when Andre Gomes was lying on the pitch in clear distress during Everton’s game with Tottenham, the one thing which concerned him was how Son Heung-min and Serge Aurier were showing remorse, going so far as to suggest they were faking it for the camera.  That doesn’t make him sound like someone who lacks empathy, does it?

And of course, a month simply cannot go by without Donald Trump doing something dickheaded, for example his repeated claims he is paying no attention whatsoever to the impeachment hearings...and then livetweeting as he watches the impeachment hearings live on TV.  But somehow that classified as normal behaviour compared to him Photoshopping his face onto Rocky Balboa’s body for...reasons

[francoisceverts]

2, 5, 6, 15, 30

british ask game

2 - what are your opinions on love island?

it’s Awful and there are criticisms to be made of what it promotes and implies within society. but also i fucking love it, and it’s like the only time i watch itv

5 - how about a british stereotype that’s very accurate for you?

uhhhh suddenly i’m forgetting every stereotype ever lmao. i am Very White and i will burn in the smallest amount of sunshine lol, and i obvs love football a lot. love a good Bad Takeaway as well

6 - favourite british accent?

a Good Solid estuary accent is banging. don’t get why everyone hates scouse accents bc i actually like them. most northern accents in general tbh. also welsh but that might just be when ben davies is speaking. 

15 - busted or mcfly?

neither tbh i was never into them. but apparently busted are from southend so im legally obligated to support them now. woo! busted!

30 - chips on gravy?

already answered!

[walkonwalkonwithhopeinyourheart]

Match Thread: AC Milan vs Liverpool via /r/LiverpoolFC

Match Thread: AC Milan vs Liverpool

Champions League Final '05

Date: Wednesday 25th May 2005

Kick-Off: ~ 19:45BST

Conditions: Clear night 18 °C (64 °F) 78% humidity

Ref: Manuel Mejuto González (Spain)

Venue: Atatürk Olympic Stadium, Istanbul

Watch video

AC Milan 3-3 Liverpool FC - (FT)

-5' What an evening it is! Atmosphere is building

-2' Gerrard leads the Reds out.

-1' YNWA rings out in the Atatürk! COME ON YOU REDS

Kick Off

1' Maldini (1-0) - FUCKKK

Reds in possession, hoping to build up some pressure.

CLOSE Riise volley is blocked before Hypia header is saved

Freekick lofted into the box, nobody there to greet it.

15' Have got back into the game a little more, however, AC still look very dangerous

Some sloppy play by Baros and Kewell looks like he's picked up a knock.

20' Kewell really looks like he's struggling here, I don't think he can continue.

Vladimír Šmicer will be replacing Kewell. Says something snapped, doesn't look good.

23' Šmicer comes on for Kewell. He looks gutted.

Travelling kop really finding their voice now!

Crespo and Shevchenko being caught offside a couple of times now but still look very dangerous. Can Traore cope with them for 70 more mins?!

OFFSIDE Shevchenko just off! WHAT A LET OFF

They are constantly testing our defence. Could score at any moment. This is nervy. SORT IT OUT.

CHANCE Garcia with a volley, way over though.

CHANCE Nice build up play, Baros flick on to a Garcia volley but just trails wide

PEN?Was it handball? SHOULD HAVE BEEN A PEN!

39' Crespo (2-0) - FUCK FUCK FUCK

We should have had a pen there! Handball in the box, bizarre tackle!! What is this ref playing at?!

Good job these lads don't know the offside rule

CHANCE Šmicer with a volley that's saved but it wouldn't have counted anyway. Whistle had gone for a Baros handball.

44' Crespo (3-0) - Fuck this

Crespo miles away from our defence, chips Dudek. Fuck off

Completely outplayed here. Can't see any way back now.

HALF TIME - could not come soon enough. Wow. Where do we go from here?!

Finnan off for Hamann

Wow that half time flew by. Don't know about you but this is going to be a long 45!

SECOND HALF - COME ON LADS.

Dudek mishandles the ball, luckily didn't fall to an AC player. This can't get much worse.

Some nice link up player between Gerrard, Smicer and Hamann. Playing a bit more positivley

CHANCE Alonso shot from far out, just wide.

Another bad moment for Traore and AC are in. Hypia making the foul on Kaka, AC have a chance.

Dangerous area but their freekick comes to nothing thankfully! Great save by Dudek, had to get there.

54' Gerrard (3-1) - GREAT GOAL BY STEVIE! THIS. IS. NOT. OVER.

FUCKING GOOSEBUMPS! COME ON!!! GERRARD STEPS UP!!!!!!

Travelling kop are going out of their minds amazing.

56' Smicer (3-2) - WHAT AM I ACTUALLY SEEING. WE'RE BACK IN THIS GAME!!!

2 goals in 2 mins! WTF IS GOING ON. COME ON YOU RED MEN!

What i'd give to be in that crowd. Whole fucking stadium on their feet!!

PENALTY!!!!!! GERRARD FOULED PENALITY!!!

HOW IS THAT NOT A RED?!

60' ALONSOOOO PEN (3-3) - FUUUUUUUUCKCKCKKKKKK WE'RE LEVEL!!!!!!!!!

I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS! I NEVER WILL AGAIN

Alonso has pen saved but got the rebound! IT'S 3-3!!

CHANCE Riise with a thundercunt. Saved by Dida.

65' Hypia digging us out a bit there, Shevchenko was in. Fuck me i'm knackerd.

AC Milan with a bit of posession in the last couple of mins. Luckily the reds are standing up and stopping every ball.

YNWA rings around the stadium. I've got chills.

LET OFF FUCKING BIG JIMI TRAORE! Saved off the line! Massive let off for us there

CHANCE Gerrard with a long effort. Not really close but this man has fucking dragged us back into this final!

HALF CHANCE Smicer shot from distance, way over.

Game has calmed down a little now, getting scrappy.

75' Carra

Wow. Has everyone calmed down a bit now? Me neither. COME ON LADS LETS WIN THIS

CHANCE Amazing cross from Gerrard, Garcia can't control it.

LET OFF LAST DITCH BY CARRA. Saved our skin there

81' Baros - silly foul

TACKLE Great tackle from Traore. He's really redeemed himself in this second half

OLÉ

85' Cisse coming on for Baros - Needed to happen, he was going to see red. We're going for it though!! COME ON CISSE!

85' Crespo off for Tomasson

86' Seedorf off for Serginho

It doesn't look like either team have much left in the tank to get a goal. Could we be going to extra time?

TACKLE Another great tackle by Carra. Fantastic to deny.

LET OFF Stam & Kaka so close from the corner. BIG left off.

2 Added Mins As another belter of YNWA rings around the stadium

FULL TIME - IT GOES TO EXTRA TIME

AC Milan 3-3 Liverpool FC - (EXTRA TIME)

30mins extra time coming out way

KICK OFF

Not a huge amount to write about yet, scrappy in midfield. They look shattered out there.

LFC fans are the only noise you can hear in the stadium right now. 12th man.

Hypia just clipped Tomasson, AC have a good freekick chance here even if it's some distance out.

Pirlo, way over!

OFFSIDE Very late call on Cisse, was in on goal.

Gerrard clattering another AC player there, what a performance. We cannot lose him this summer!

Milan getting a few passes together but Carra in the way

OFFSIDE This marks the 1,000th offside AC Milan have had this game. Do they not play offside in Italy?

CLOSE Tomasson can't get his foot properly on it and it goes wide.

Milan really piling on the pressure

The lads look knackered but Gerrard is putting in an unreal shift in defence. Blocking absolutely everything.

Smicer receiving treatment off the pitch, looks like cramp.

He's back on, has no choice as all 3 subs have been used

HALF TIME EXTRA TIME

Lots of players struggling with cramp now. YNWA blasting out around the stadium again.

SECOND HALF EXTRA TIME

We must be aiming for pens now, all three subs used and the lads are running on empty

Smicer takes the corner, it's pretty shit but it falls for Hamann, deflected wide

Gerrard takes this one, beats the first man but foul in the box gives AC possession

AC look dangerous every time they go forward but they are struggling just as much as we are.

Cisse holding play up well but rolls the ball to the keeper from 35 yards out

LAST DITCH Carra stretching with every inch of his body, clears the ball, needed to be done. Down with cramp now

112' Gattuso off for Rui Costa

Carra back on, straight away needs to clear it. What a player.

CLOSE Rui Costa nearly scores from a corner! Think Dudek probably had it.

Foul on the edge of the penalty area, Hamann gives away a freekick against Pirlo

Deflected off Garcia for a corner

Getting very close!! Hypia with a great clearance. We need to hang on now, its all one way traffic.

LAST 5 MINS! COME ON REDMEN

Another fantastic tackle from Gerrard to stop the cross

UNREAL HOW DID DUDEK SAVE THAT?! HE HAS KEPT US IN THIS!

STUNNING DOUBLE SAVE!!! AMAZING GOALKEEPING FROM DUDEK!!!

Milan have 2 shots denied from inside the 6 yard box. This game!!!

1 min left to hang on for pens!

Great last ditch defending by Hamann. Runs the length of the pitch but can't do anything with it

1 min extra time!

Freekick up ac milan end, Gerrad stands over it. Last kick of the game surely

Gerrard lays out to Hamann but its blocked

FULL TIME - IT GOES TO PENALTIES

FUCK THIS MY NERVES. YNWA BEING SUNG BY ALL REDS IN THE STADIUM

AC Milan 2-3 Liverpool FC - (3-3 a.e.t)

xx✓✓x|✓✓x✓

Serginho WAY OVER!! - 0-0

HAMANN FUCKING GET IN THERE! - 0-1

Pirlo WHAT A SAVE DUDEK!!!!!! - 0-1

CISSEE!!!! - 0-2

Tomasson scores for milan - 1-2

Riise Nooooooooooo Saved. - 1-2

Kaka converts :/ - 2-2

SMICER!! MATCH POINT!!!!! - 2-3

SHEVSCHENKO IS SAVED! STUNNING BY DUDEK!!! LIVERPOOL ARE CHAMPIONS!!!!! - 2-3

LIVERPOOL WIN THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE!!!!

5 TIMES!!! WHAT A MATCH! YOU'LL NEVER SEE ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN

UNREAL. ABSOLUTELY UNREAL.

ITV showing the scenes after the trophy lifting

See highlights here!

Nobody on that pitch deserved MOTM more than Gerrard. Another level.

What a cup final. Cheers everyone, that was fun

Shameless plug: Anfield Forever stone crowdfund closes tomorrow! Donate while you can!

Submitted May 25, 2017 at 07:41PM by felbridge via reddit http://ift.tt/2r1OYiN