#and my work bff told me hes leaving at the end of the term and i gebuinely feel like crying | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lizacstuff · 3 years ago

Note

Your thoughts on the epi?

This episode was everything! I don't remember when I've enjoyed crying so much. The funny thing is, though, that I've found myself crying more while rewatching those scenes, than I cried during the first time I watched the episode. This episode will definitely rank among my favorites. Let's talk about the B and C characters and then get to Edser and, of course, Kiraz at the end. I spent the first 30 minutes resisting the urge to punch my screen anytime Ayfer was on it. Damn, I wanted to slap her silly. Could she have been any more annoying? Eda's a grown woman, if she is finally doing the right thing and telling the father of her child he's a dad, then be supportive instead of a screeching pain in the ass. When she actually said "I told you so" to an upset Eda... seriously? That is awful. What a bitter, joyless, petty individual. I was cheering for Melo every time she told Ayfer she was negative. Good! At least we know the other characters recognize how awful she is.

(I get long winded, so this continues under the cut)

Also what was with her going overboard to protect Burak's feelings over his delusional aspirations? Why shouldn't he understand that Serkan and Eda shared a great love and Melo is rooting for them to rekindle it? What does hiding that from him do? It's still true. Ayfer treats this dude as a member of the family, so he might as well know. I get his feelings might get hurt, but dude needs a reality check and to move on, and no matter how hard Ayfer hopes, Serkan in their lives or no, Eda is never going to want Burak. She's made that clear. If Ayfer likes him so much maybe she should marry him, that way at least Melo would be saved from his milquetoast presence.

Speaking of that, they were clearly trying to establish some sort of connection or vibe between him and Melo. So far, I'm not into it. If he's still so into Eda that Ayfer doesn't want him to have to hear about Eda/Serkan possibly reuniting, then he doesn't deserve Melo. Melo deserves someone who wants her, not someone who pines after someone out of his league and then settles for her bff once he realizes he never had a shot with the great beauty. We'll see how it develops, but he has the personality of damp carpet so I don't have high hopes.

Aydan was a little screechy this episode, but I cut her some slack since she just found out these traitors stole 5 years of her granddaughter's life from her. My friend @echoapothecary made a good point to me that Aydan deserves no sympathy for this since she didn't tell Eda Serkan was alive back in amnesia times, and I don't disagree with that. That move by Aydan pretty much tainted her character forever, and it's near impossible to come back from, but viewing this story in a capsule I do feel sorry for her. She wasn't a good mother to Serkan, but she does love him, and I think she craves family. The main point being, Serkan wasn't the only one who lost something significant by not knowing about Kiraz until now, Aydan did too. Perhaps we can say that losing the first five years of her granddaughter's life is her punishment for keeping the secret about Serkan, it's about as steep a penalty as one could pay. Talk about karmic retribution.

Also, since Serkan is apparently not going to impose any emotional tolls on any of the traitors for the secret that was kept from him, I'm glad Aydan did at least make her displeasure known and made some of the liars uncomfortable. Piril, at least, felt it, even if she won't suffer any real consequences. I kind of wanted Serkan to kick her out of the company. I really don't like that character and I think every time she's on screen she just sucks the life out of the show. Engin when he's in scenes with Serkan or Eda or Melo or Aydan or Erdem = Interesting. Engin when he's with Piril = Zzzzzzz.

Pina and Kerem were cute, but to be honest I really don't care. It's inoffensive and I get that we need B, C and D storylines to fill out two hours each week, so I'm good with it, but let's be real I'm only watching for the main event.

Speaking of... now to EDSER! I actually like that Serkan walked out and drove away after hearing the truth. I can only imagine what kind of shock and betrayal he must have felt at that moment, escaping must have seemed like his best option. What I liked even more is that Eda followed him. What a relief after the last episode where she was looking for any and every excuse not to tell him and then made the nonsensical decision to flee in order to avoid it. Too many times in the past between these two pride has gotten in the way. There was a time that Eda might have thrown up her hands at him leaving and pretended like it didn't hurt, that it didn't matter. I'm so glad those days seem to be over. One of the hallmarks of season 2 has been the improved communication (sans secret) between these two and this episode took that concept to a new level.

How heartbreaking to watch Eda plead with Serkan through the door, and how double-y heartbreaking to watch Serkan sitting on the floor, head bent, clearly in emotional agony. You could feel it coming off of him. Kudos to both Hande and Kerem who KILLED IT this episode. Seriously, their best work to date. Their chemistry is always on point, but the way they flawlessly work off of one another in every scene they share, whether it's deeply dramatic or something light and romantic is truly something special to behold. That's one reason why I don't get the folks who are so hung up in hating the season 2 plotline, that they can't appreciate any of this. Because this is the point. Giving these two artists deep and challenging scenes together and opportunities to make more magic. Watching them this season is honestly a privilege and I plan on enjoying every minute of it.

Despite Serkan's emotional turmoil, it was so like him to put the blanket over her and then sit across from her sleeping form as he indulged in some more brooding. However, I really appreciate that by the morning he was ready to talk to her. That conversation was hard, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who was jarred by him saying that he would have told her to get an abortion. In light of his later confessions, I think there's a few ways to take that. I think it was in part a nod to what an emotional mess he was at the time, and in part he said it to alleviate some of her guilt. Because even a betrayed and hurt Serkan cares so much about her, and he knows what he put who through at the time. Especially because at that moment he still had no plans to tell her the truth about why he broke up with her, he was still playing the part of the man who just didn't want children. So stubborn! Thank goodness that over the course of the next 12 hours he'll change his mind about that...

On another note, how happy did it make you to see Sirius? It made me pretty happy. He lives!!!!

From the moment Eda went to his hotel room the night before to confess all the way until they met again at the hotel, Eda really did everything right in how she approached him. However, once back in Sile, she makes her first critical error. It reminded me of the Eda in episode 29 who started pushing so hard at amnesia!Serkan and coming at him with such extreme emotion that he shut down. And that's what happened during that conversation on the beach. Eda needed to give him a little bit of time to come to terms with things, instead of forcing a conversation the first moment they saw one another. Good grief, what was she doing demanding answers from him hours after he found out? She knows this man! She knows that he plans every aspect of his life. So to spring on him that you hid a child from him for 5 years and he's a dad, is a LOT. I like that in a later scene he knows he reacted badly, and actually also says to her "What did you expect?" While his reaction wasn't great, it was also pretty predictable and she should have known to give him some time.

Speaking of the conversation on the beach, what a powerhouse scene for Hande. One note on it, that was the scene they had just shot when Hande and Kerem did their last IGlive on premiere day. The one where Kerem kept talking about how he was in a mood because of an intense scene they had just done. After watching I couldn't help but note that he, as Serkan, mostly just stood there stoically as Hande did all the emoting as Eda let loose on all the pent up emotion she'd been carrying both for years and with Serkan's fresh rejection. It speaks to both their personal and professional dynamic that he was so affected by her being in that state since he didn't do the heavy lifting in that specific scene. The way they are attuned to each other is probably a big reason they are so flawlessly in sync on screen.

I liked how they weaved the Kiraz/Baba scene in at the right time. That was one instance where Aydan, Seyfi and Engin's meddling was for the good, engineering a situation where Serkan was alone with his daughter. Also excellent comedy from Can, ratting out his dad about throwing ice cream on him. Good stuff. I like Engin-as-a-father scenes, I like Engin-as-a-friend scenes, I could just do without Engin-as-a-husband scenes. Anyway, Serkan needed time to adjust, but he also needed to be exposed to Kiraz so that he could view their prior unlikely bond through the new prism of fatherhood. It's telling how easily he slid into Dad territory with teaching her how to tie her shoes. He had been doing that all along, but at that moment he knew about the relationship and still did what was natural. He is ready to be her father, he just needs to realize he's worthy of it.

You can't blame Eda for not realizing it, but it was lovely to see how quickly Serkan turned the corner. He was already adjusting his thinking not even 24 hours after he found out about Kiraz and that was really what inserting himself

into her dealings with the Italians was about. Staying in contact until he could beat back all his neurosis. As for the business stuff, she apparently needed him as an investor, but I also love the way he was there to first build up her confidence and then praise her after a successful presentation. I've said it before but Serkan as her professional mentor is one of my favorite dynamics between them. It did make me wonder, is she still 45% owner of the Holding? It seems like it, she sure didn't hesitate to present herself as his partner. If she is, though, it seems impossible that they could have had zero contact for all those years, unless she just placed her stake in a trust and gave him full voting control of it. Details I'm sure they won't explore in-depth, but I did wonder.

Don't you just love an unwitting guest character (Italian guy) who comes in and forces our two protagonists to spend extra time together? I do. Thank you Italian guy and Italian guy's wife! I love how quick Serkan was to accept, you see, he had already turned a corner and was looking for excuses to get close to her. It was his first step in his journey to opening up to her. Also, who noticed that Eda wore a slinky blue dress the night after Kiraz mentioned that it's Serkan's favorite color? Just checking. She is not as immune to his charms as she'd like us to believe...

OF COURSE Serkan was at Eda's graduation. I think pretty much the whole fandom had guessed that from their conversation in episode 40, but it still hit me emotionally to have it confirmed. What I really liked about it was that Serkan didn't tip his hand by accident. He quoted her graduation speech specifically because he wanted her to know he was there. And not only that he willingly admits that he thought of her every single day since they parted. This is a huge step for him. It has been driving him crazy that Eda thinks he forgot her and is totally unaffected by her. However, even just a few hours earlier he was still in a place where he had no intention to tell her anything, it's actually impressive how quickly he came around. Now I don't blame Eda at all for declaring it's not enough, he put her through emotional hell when they broke up. I mean on one hand you'd think she'd be able to see that he was already opening his heart and there was more to the story, however, her reaction was good because it spurred him on to go and tell her the whole story.

And what a heartbreaking story it was. As I said several times over the last few weeks, I was hoping that part of Serkan's motivation was that the doctor had told him he would be unable to have kids, what I wasn't expecting though was the double whammy of not being able to have kids AND there being a 70% chance of the cancer coming back. No wonder Serkan was eFFed up! Who wouldn't be, but then you add in his additional insecurities about not being worthy of love and his hypochondria and that is a bad mental cocktail. You know what's ironic, Ayfer hates him but in reality he did exactly what Ayfer would have wanted him to do. Push Eda away for her own good so she could have everything she wants in life without him dragging her down. What makes Ayfer the worst (and a hypocrite) is that this is exactly what she would have wanted him to do, but she also blames him for Eda's heartbreak in the aftermath.

The scene was so cathartic to watch as a viewer. We've been waiting for weeks for Serkan's point of view as he's hidden behind his usual confident and calm veneer, and when we finally got it, we really got it. He did not hold back. Serkan is such a complex character, which is a bit surprising for a silly show that you wouldn't really expect build a character with so many layers. On the surface he has everything and seems to be full of ego, but his arrogance is only surrounding his abilities, intellect, and skills as a businessman and architect. Personally, he has little self-worth and thinks he's not worthy of anyone's love, especially not Eda's. However, while that has been a truth of the character for a long time, this speech was the first time he admitted how deeply rooted his fears are. It was stunning, though, to have a character who is so rooted in being in control and who is worried about his outward image, open up in such a raw way and expose all his fears and insecurities to a woman he's been apart from for five years. It was breathtaking and Kerem was fantastic in the scene.

Initially, with the subtitles, I misinterpreted (though I knew it couldn't be quite right) his parting words. The subtitles I saw made it seem like Serkan was saying "Don't say you forgot me" as in Serkan didn't want Eda to say she forgot him. But it made so much more sense when I saw it translated as "But don't say I forgot you." which was a throw back to their dinner conversation in episode 40 when Eda says, "You forgot me." Once I realized Serkan was saying that he couldn't handle her thinking, or say, that he'd forgotten her, the scene hit doubly hard!

I saw some criticism of that scene that said Eda was just standing there with no emotion, but I didn't get that at all. She had tears running down her face and I thought she was fighting for his soul pretty dang hard. First by using both emotion-- telling him that everything had changed because now he had a daughter and that he'd locked his heart and soul in a cage. Then by using logic-- when she told him the cancer is gone and that's it's over and when she challenged him over why everything has to be perfect. Think from her perspective how disorienting it would be to find out that everything you thought was true, was not, and that if the love of your life wasn't such a stubborn, selfless, self-sabotaging martyr that you could have built a family together instead of been separated for 5 years. It's a lot.

On the first watch this doorway scene is where I started to get emotional, but I didn't really lose it and fully cry until Serkan's scene the next day with Engin. For whatever reason that scene hit me hard. Hats off to Anil for his work there, the way his voice broke at times during that conversation really got to me. This type of true friendship scene was something that was sorely missing during the era of the other writers, and it was wonderful to see it back, just when Serkan needed it most. Serkan needed someone to shake him a bit about his fears of dying. I think the writers did a good job here, because while Serkan's neurosis and self-sabotage is maddening, with his history it's believable that he was stuck in a headspace where he really thought he couldn't be a father to Kiraz, or a partner to Eda, because he might up and die on them. I loved how Engin pointed out that Eda and Kiraz would not be the only ones affected if he died and how ridiculous it was for him to lock himself away.

I'm glad we got the scene with the doctor to really get a full glimpse of Serkan's view of his illness and it's also a relief to not only Serkan, but to us viewers that since five years have passed cancer-free he now has the risk of a typical healthy person. Serkan isn't the only one who has hang ups about his health, I think after amnesia and cancer viewers do too!

Finding out that Eda had made videos specifically for Serkan over the years, talking to him directly, hit hard. I wasn't really expecting that. I thought maybe she just had general photos and videos, like any doting parent would have, but the fact that she was always wanting him, documenting Kiraz's life and preparing for a day when he would hopefully take his place as Kiraz's father... wow. On the cynical side it makes it that much harder to believe that she never made more of an effort to tell him once Kiraz was born, but I won't focus on that. Not when the scene was as perfect as it was. Kerem again was stellar, he made me cry buckets. I think since amnesia many of us wanted an emotional response from him, thank goodness this story finally delivered it. The emotions running through him at that moment were overwhelming and Kerem did a fantastic job of portraying all of them, the heartbreak over everything he missed, the joy at seeing moments

from his daughter's life, the regret of not being there and being the partner Eda needed, the pride in the job Eda did in raising their daughter alone, and finally the bittersweet relief that Eda never forgot him.

It was a lot, but it was a good segue to the next scene when Eda calls him frantic because Kiraz went missing. What was clear from those videos was that while Eda, when we first meet her in Sile, appeared on the surface to have everything handled as a single mom, she always really wanted to have Serkan there as her partner. While Kiraz was pining for her dad, Eda was pining for Serkan as well. And we see this displayed in full force when Serkan arrives. Several people try to comfort Eda, including Burak, but she's not having it. However, as soon as Serkan gets there you can almost see the relief hit her in a wave. She's not in this alone anymore. Kiraz's father is there to help. Even if nothing is settled at that moment, she knows she can rely on Serkan and that he will know what to do. Which is supported by the fact that he clearly took charge the moment he found out, calling the authorities, having them begin searches etc.

But while highlighting his competence, conversely can we talk about how incompetently everyone else was at searching for Kiraz? They all acted worried, but did any of them make any real effort to find her? LMAO, they all seemed much more concerned with their own personal dramas. Especially egregious were Engin and Piril. Hello! Your son is clearly trying to tell you where the missing person is! Stop ignoring him. Thank goodness Serkan is very good at finding people.

Of course he found her and our hearts collectively shattered as we watched her trying to send a message to her Baba in space when in reality he was kneeling right there beside her, helping her tie the note to the balloon. If anything else was left to convince Serkan that he is wanted and needed, by both Eda and Kiraz, this situation was it. Even though some careless crew member spoiled the astronaut suit in an unnecessary IG story from the set, (that would have been a really good surprise) it was still satisfying to see this fairy tale play out. Never over "Baba?" and "Happy Birthday, my daughter" and now I can't wait to see Kiraz's reaction that her new friend Serkan Bolat is actually her dad and it should be pretty great to watch the three of them form a family together.

Overall this was the most emotional episodes of the series, and also one of the best.

#Sen Cal Kapimi #Sen Çal Kapımı #edser #serkan bolat #sck discussion #sck episode discussion #edser discussion #sckask #sck 2x43 #sck 2x04 #asklizac #anonymous

32 notes · View notes

retvenkos · 4 years ago

Text

"i fell in love with you a lifetime ago”

requested

BEING DUCKIE AND ANDIE’S BFF AND FALLING FOR DUCKIE??? MY FRIEND, THIS IS GOING TO BE A RIDE...

you, andie, and duckie have been friends for longer than you remember

and for as long as you’ve known him, duckie has been in love with andie

and l o u d l y

it’s just always been knowledge that one day, andie and duckie would be together and you would be the one to tease andie, joking about how there was once a time when she didn’t think it was going to happen, or duckie would eventually move on and it would be something that you and andie could tease him about later, when he had someone of his own

and for a while, pesky little feelings weren’t a problem - duckie and andie were still your friends first and foremost, and nothing would change that

things only started to get bad at the end of junior high and the beginning of high school

all of you were growing up, and love were becoming more defined

and, as always, duckie loved andie and she just didn’t love him back

and you didn’t realize it then, but duckie started to become more important to you

you never really took a side in this whole andie vs. duckie debate, because you knew you didn’t need to - you could talk to duckie about andie and talk to andie about duckie and still have your friendships stay in tact

and with both of them, you talked

every day duckie was obsessing over andie and you gave him advice - give her space, don’t press her about it but remind her you’re always there if you need her, etc.

sometimes you felt like you should write for a magazine, get one of those columns and name it “ask cupid”

and every weekend, andie would joke with you - telling you your efforts to keep duckie on a leash weren’t working, but neither were your attempts at helping him out

“you need to change the advice you’re giving duckie, (y/n), i can’t count how many terrible pick up lines he’s used this week.”

“i told him to give you space!”

“you’re not going to get through to him that way.”

“maybe you need to get a boyfriend and he’ll back off.”

“you really think he would?”

“sure. i mean, he’d be sour about it for weeks, but he’d eventually come around. he loves you, andie - even if that means just being friends.”

and it was a joke, almost, which would happen first - duckie meets someone new, or andie falls in love?

“what do you think, (y/n), what are the odds?”

“i think i’ll die of insanity, first.”

“very funny - but i’ll need you to be alive for our wedding.”

and maybe you started to feel differently about duckie when you started high school - maybe you started to notice how funny he was, how charming he was, how sweet he could be, and...

damnit

you knew that no matter what happened, neither andie nor duckie could ever find out about your feelings - they’d laugh, right? how pathetic do you have to be to fall in love with your friend who’s already smitten for another?

so you decided to take your own advice - give him space and don’t mention it, but remind him that you were there for him... even if that meant you were giving him advice on loving someone else.

you and duckie were quite the pair, falling in love with a friend - just not the pair you hoped to be

and then blane came into the picture

and, to be quite honest, you liked blane

he was fine enough, he made andie happy, and he was always polite to you

but duckie

by the time blane is into the picture, your feelings for duckie are getting a little harder to hide

andie suspects something, you can tell by her not-so-subtle prodding. but, at the very least, she’s not telling duckie. dealing with him had always been your job

that was only getting more difficult, wasn’t it?

god, if it were someone else, you’d just throw in the towel, at this point.

and, one day, after he and andie are no longer talking, you ask him something

“duckie, i know you love andie, but what are you going to do when she moves on?”

“moves on? what are you talking about? that richie is gonna break her heart before they get in too deep - you know that. and i’ll be here, like i always am—”

“talking to me about how much you love someone who doesn’t love you back.”

“doesn’t love me back? (y/n), andie and that... boy are getting in your head.”

“duck... i don’t think they are.”

and the silence is d e a f e n i n g

and duckie is pacing, specifically not looking you in the eye

but you eventually speak

“I just... i’ve seen you love andie we were kids, duckie, and she... i care about you. i love you, duckie, and i can’t keep telling you to chase something when i know it’s not going to work out the way your hoping.”

“so all this time you didn’t think andie could love me?”

“that’s not it. i know that andie loves you - just not in that way!”

“and what? she never will?”

“i... i just want both of you to be happy.”

“well i don’t think that’s going to happen.”

and duckie leaves, with the two of you not on the greatest of terms

and that weekend, the two of you don’t talk

you hang out with andie , both of you sulking over guys who don’t deserve you, tbh, who you love more deeply than you realize

and andie comes in with some friendly advice, telling you that maybe you and duckie need to talk about the relationship between the two of you rather than duckie and her because only one of those has potential

“and it always has, (y/n), you and duckie are way closer than we ever were.”

"well, right now everything’s falling apart.”

MEANWHILE...

duckie is having an existential crisis of his own

oh, don’t we love 80′s teen movies

because he’s never been without you

sure, andie kicks him out every other week because of some spat or another, but he can always go to you

and a lot of the times, you don’t even talk about andie!

all of his boring habits or fears or abstract thoughts belong to you - and now they have nowhere to go

and so one day, duckie walks up to you

and he a p o l o g i z e s

and he says he’s been an idiot, and he may not be over andie yet, but he doesn’t want to ruin your relationship over something dumb like his feelings

“your feelings aren’t dumb, duckie, and you can always talk to me about them. i just...”

“care about me.”

and he’s smiling and it makes your heart skip a beat

“you’d be the first.”

“the one and only.”

and oh my god this list of headcanons is getting long, forgive me.

BUT

you are a good friend™ and you are not about to abandon andie on prom night

so both of you get dressed together, and the plan is for the two of you to go together

duckie already told you prom was overrated, so you weren’t planning on seeing him, even if you did want to

“who needs boys, right?”

“that’s the wish.”

and the gang has the sweetest reunion at prom, don’t @ me, the hug is legendary

and duckie compliments you on how you look, and it’s just vvv sweet.

and we know how the rest of the dance turns out, but you and duckie dance together at least once bc you always have each other’s back

and in the following months, andie and blane are going strong, and... duckie isn’t talking about it?

i mean, he’s definitely teasing andie about it while she’s there, but when the two of you hang out alone, he never mentions andie and blane anymore other than just casually asking about/mentioning them

so you resolve to ask him about it

“hey, duckie, are you okay? you don’t really talk about andie and blane that much.”

“i’m fine. they’re fine, right? am i missing something? did andie tell you something?”

“well, no... i just...”

“worried about me?”

“yeah, i guess.”

“well, now you’ve seen what it’s like for me to have moved on. awfully dull, isn’t it? who do you think i should pick to be the new object of my affections?”

“i’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

and you laugh and shake your head, completely missing how his gaze lingers on yours

and for the next couple of weeks, it becomes the source of jokes between your group (which now includes blane. he’s still getting used to the dynamics, but he’s a champ for trying.)

“hey, duckie, whose house are you driving past later?”

don’t get me wrong, the stalking is creepy and duckie grows out of it fast.

“only yours, (y/n).”

“write any sonnets, lately, duckie?”

“you know me.”

“what poor girl has stolen your heart now, phil?”

and blane calls duckie phil for the rest of his life, you can’t convince me otherwise

“oh, you’ll see.”

“sing any love songs recently?”

“very funny.”

but you and duckie still manage to get a long of hanging out in where it’s just the two of you, and one day you’re walking to go get something to eat after studying for a test duckie is definitely going to fail, and he tells you he’s been a real idiot this past year - almost losing you and andie? he doesn’t know what he’d be without you.

“well, you didn’t mess up things too badly, duck, andie still puts up with you.”

“and what about you, (y/n)? i mean, i’ve never really been without you.”

“oh, you don’t have to worry about that, duckie, you can’t get rid of me. you know i love you.”

“but do you? like, really? because we always say it to each other all friendly, but i wouldn’t mind it being deeper than that.”

and you are s t u n n e d

“you... what?”

“well, we’ve always been there for each other - i don’t think i’ve ever loved someone the way i love you.”

“i love you, too, duckie - and like, really love you.”

“really? because i—”

and you cut him off by putting your hand on his cheek

and you kiss him, and it’s like everything comes together

“wow.”

and you just laugh

and you both walk hand in hand to get hamburgers

AND FLUFF ENSUES.

-- taglist: @brokenandheadoverheels // message me if you want to be added to the taglist!

#pretty in pink #duckie dale #x reader #reader insert #fluff #would include #imagine #headcanons #x you #friends to lovers #and i kind of went off on this one but i just rewatched the show for inspo and i was /hit/ with ideas

77 notes · View notes

mrs-geuse · 5 years ago

Text

Jealousy - Hank Anderson x Reader

Re-posting because Tumblr didn’t let it show up in the tags...

Anonymous requested: “Can you please write some jealous!hank x reader? Or some Hank x pregnant!reader fluff?”

(I tried to keep this as gender neutral as I could, sorry if there are mistakes!)

Warnings: Language, alcohol use.

Hank Anderson should not be one to judge about public intoxication – and he was not judging. He was worried. This was so not like you.

Connor had been the one you called and that stung. He tried his best to swallow down that jealousy, he really did, but he was so hopeful to come in and play the hero for you. There was something about you that just made him want to play protector, but he knew you’d hate that.

Yet you still called Connor when you got drunk tonight and it was obviously not a call to Hank. Whatever the Hell that meant. What you and Connor had was a friendship and he needed to let that go.

“Hank, they’re at Crazy Matt’s,” Connor’s voice interrupted him as he grabbed his keys from his desk, shouldered on his coat.

“Glad they answered for you,” was Hank’s only response.

“That didn’t happen. Location services are still on their phone. I…noticed from the social media post that was made.”

“Great detective work. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta go get my ass handed to me by your bff.”

Connor had a date tonight and Hank couldn’t help but wonder if your outburst was due to that little fact. Naturally, Hank’s only date was with a bottle when he got home so Connor called in a favor. Of course, he was glad to do it – the three of you were pretty inseparable after you’d met.

So here he was speeding toward Crazy Matt’s to pick you up. Too fuckin’ bad, you didn’t want company. Pain in the ass…

In the small parking lot, he noticed your car wasn’t there and he was instantly cussing because – damn it – if you dipped to another bar, he was going to have to chase you around this city all fuckin’ night.

He slammed the car door harder than necessary and stormed his way toward the entrance. Crazy Matt’s was a pretty seedy place and he hated that you went there. Apparently, you knew the owner or some shit.

Eyes scanning around the bar, he grumbled to himself.

“Can I get ya somethin’?” the dark-haired man behind the counter greeted him.

Hank ignored his interest in what was on tap. “Do you know Y/N?”

The idiot let his expression change, yet responded, “Who wants to know?”

“Look, it’s been a long night, and I’m a friend,” the term stung something in him and the thought he’d like to drown in alcohol. “I just need to know they’re okay.”

He nodded. “Saw them go out back a few minutes ago. Left their drink so I’m sure they’ll be back.”

Hank tapped the bar, nodding in thanks as he glanced at what you’d been drinking.

There was a lot to be said about Hank, but he was not a patient man. A few seconds and he was back outside, glancing down the side alley.

What, had you gone to hook up with somebody? Fuckin’ a…

The sight shocked him.

“Y/N!?” he jogged over because it was all he could muster.

You stopped momentarily, looking breathless and disheveled and…damn it, alluring. But his eyes were instantly on your bleeding knees.

“What the fuck happened?” he almost pulled out his gun just in case something was amiss.

You waved him off, patting him on the shoulder and he stilled at the touch. “Guess I’m not great at running while inebriated,” you answered simply.

“And you were running because…?” during his question, you held his shoulder, balancing so you can pull off your shoe and get the gravel out.

He wanted to wrap his arms around you but instead he shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Some jackass stole my wallet,” you waved it in front of you, clearly having gotten it back. You weren’t too flustered but the blood was dripping down your knees and it kinda stung.

You stumbled a little when getting the shoe back on and he was forced to hold you upright, your shirt having slid up just the slightest and his thumb pressed against your bare skin. Hank inhaled sharply, moving his finger as soon as he noticed.

“I’m taking you home,” he responded gruffly.

“Fuck off,” you pushed your hand against his chest but it did nothing to move the big man. “I’m not going home.”

“Jesus Christ, Y/N, you’re bleedin’ all over the place. I’m leaving and you’re coming with me.”

“No,” you pulled from his grasp, stumbled a little, still feeling your drinks. He caught you and his grip was surprisingly soft considering his voice was gruff. “Hank,” you muttered, grabbing onto his jacket and sliding your hands up to the collar. You watched his Adam’s apple move as he swallowed hard. “I’m going in to finish my drink.”

“The drink on the bar?” he managed to question. At that, you nodded. “Yeah, no you’re not.”

“Hank!” you were about to debate with him when he interrupted you.

“-Be pretty stupid ‘a you to leave a drink unoccupied for so long then down it. You know better than that.”

You smiled at that; glad he wasn’t arguing with you for once.

“Then buy me another one, Lieutenant. Let’s enjoy the night.”

Your tone of voice stirred something in Hank and he struggled to speak something coherent for a moment, his mind traveling to some impure thoughts.

“Yeah, sure.”

•••

Hank needed a drink, but didn’t expect to have one at a seedy bar tonight. He’d bought a bottle and was ready to tell everyone else to fuck off on this Friday night, but the change of plan wasn’t terrible.

The anxiety he felt at the moment was overwhelming. It wasn’t often that the two of you were alone, Connor playing a big part in the times you spent together and you both were very aware of that. But you’d become fast acquaintances and he’d grown to enjoy your company.

“Thought you were goin’ to clean up,” he nodded at you as you stayed right beside him at the bar.

“Eh, sure, I will. They got a deal goin’ on tonight,” you wriggled your eyebrows.

“Oh yeah?”

“Two shots for the price ‘a one.”

“Shots?” he repeated.

“Yeah. So…you’re my whiskey guy, aren’t ya?” you nodded at the bartender and ordered some.

“Christ…” he muttered, wiping a hand down his beard.

“Aw, come on, Hank, I know you’re always drinking alone. Live a little,” you gripped onto his jacket again, looking up at him with those eyes and, fuck, was he done for.

“Fine,” he grunted when the glasses come. You clinked the glass with him, smirked, then both slammed back two shots.

The burn was so welcomed right now, he needed something to rid his clouded mind.

“How about you get us another drink?” you sauntered off to the bathroom to wipe off your bloody legs.

And, fuck, what was he doing? He knew you and Connor would go out sometimes, knew the boy wonder didn’t drink with you and you’d sometimes make a comment that Hank should join. He avoided it. Because it was you. Because he knew what he would be like with alcohol around you and, damn it, he couldn’t let his guard down because he’d end up saying something stupid and chasing you off and the three of you would stop spending time together. Not to mention you’d end up doing just what you did tonight – calling Connor over him.

By the time he watched you wander back out of the bathroom, he was halfway done with his drink and had ordered another.

That Matt guy had stopped you and you were chatting with him, laughing at something he said. He knew you two knew each other, but how well and…well, how? Guy seemed kinda seedy, just like the bar.

Not to mention, he started touching you – hand on your shoulder, the two of you started walking toward the bar – and he slung his arm around your neck, kissed your temple, smiling the whole time.

You didn’t seem to mind, but that made Hank mind even more. What the Hell was he doing here? He’d told Connor he would come pick you up, not sit here and watch you find someone to hook up with.

Only you found the table he’d grabbed for you, came back with another round of shots.

“On the house, apparently,” you shrugged. He took one. “Oh, no, you get both. Any more, I’ll be on the floor.”

Hank could handle his booze pretty well, sure. Only he hadn’t really eaten today and the speed that the two of you were drinking…he was buzzed already.

“I need food,” you voiced, reading his mind. “Split a burger and fries with me?”

Hank swallowed back the last shot. “Sure, yeah.” You grabbed a waitress, ordered something. He felt a little loose, a little less anxious. “So, Connor’s date tonight…”

You smiled. “Oh, yeah, how do you think that’s gonna go?”

He’d meant to cast that line, hook you in, pick your brain, but you gave him no indication of discomfort.

“You first.”

You sipped your drink. “I think it’s good he’s getting out there. Proud of him for acting on his feelings, yanno?”

Hank nodded at that, contemplative. “You have anything to do with him finding the courage to ask them out?” That would tell him…

You smiled shyly. “Perhaps. Why, Lieutenant, did you miss your opportunity?”

Hank chuckled at that. “Fuck no. Plastic prick…” he trailed off. “So, what’s got you all fucked up tonight?” he blurted and then, “shit, I’m sorry. That, uh, that voicemail to Connor…”

You were surprised by that, though you knew he was blunt. “No, it’s fine. I…just long week. Stupid shit at work, tired of biting my tongue when people wrong me. Just…felt like I needed a night to be in my feelings.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m just really fucking dull, aren’t I?”

“Hank…why…” you looked concerned for a second. “why do you say that?”

Maybe it was the shots talking or the kindness you showed him, but he admitted, “Thought you…maybe had feelings for the kid.”

“What!?” you almost spit out your drink. “Hank, he…he’s like a brother to me, that’s pretty fucked.” You laughed and he was glad he hadn’t pissed you off, seen your fire. He knew it was there.

“Ah, I’m fucked so don’t act too surprised.” He downed the rest of his drink.

“Cheers to that,” you clinked your glass with his and drank.

“You come here often?”

“What is that, some shitty pickup line?” you laughed and he noticed your eyes flash to his mouth.

“Well, no, just…curious. What’s up with the owner?” he couldn’t help but ask.

You leveled your gaze with his. “Hank,” you started to which he hummed, acted casual. “I’m sensing a pattern here. You worried? Competition?”

“Wh-what?”

You winked at him. “You got nothin’ to worry about, old man. We just gotta leave before…” you glanced at the bar, expression changing.

“Before…?” his slightly-more-than-buzzed mind was slow to the take, that and the flirtatious air about the conversation was giving him some ideas, stirrings in his gut…

“It’s Friday, isn’t it?” you mumbled with a sigh. “They…uh…do this thing…” you started looking under the table and Hank was slow to the take, pressing his arm over his lap as your eyes scanned down there.

“What the fuck?” he felt his cheeks heating up. “Y/N?” Seconds later, you pulled a pink sticker out from under the table. “What the fuck?” he repeated.

“Oh, God…”

A voice came over the loud speaker by the karaoke setup, announcing, “You know what time it is, folks. If I could please have everyone look under their tables for a sticker…” the announcer gave the crowd a second and people around them followed instructions. “Here at Crazy Matt’s every Friday at 8 we do a nice little ice breaker. Hold your stickers high if you’re one of the five lucky tables.”

Y/N sat perfectly still and Hank felt a sense of dread but also…some excitement. You kept looking a little lusty toward him. A waitress was coming by each sticker table and dropping off some salt and limes and vodka…

Oh, shit…

“Don’t be shy, Y/N,” a voice called. Matt, the owner, walked over. “Soon as I saw your friend here sit down, I knew it was gonna be a show…come on, partake. Live a little. On the house.”

“Y/N?” Hank asked tentatively. “What the fuck’s going on?”

“Body shots,” Matt answered instantly. “Every Friday at 8, we treat our guests – if they sit at the right table. Little ice breaker, some free shots, good company…” he eyed Y/N. “I’ll gladly take your place if you’re…”

“No,” Hank found himself answering instantly, to your surprise. The thought of him licking salt off your body, drinking a shot off your skin…Hank had enough of this jealousy bullshit but he was not going to sit idly by.

Matt raised his hands up, nodded, walked away as the waitress dropped the supplies off.

“Hank, you don’t have to…”

“Nah,” he waved it off. “I…why the fuck not? Live a little, right?” he quoted that asshole, was for sure pretty far gone to be agreeing to this, his heart pounding harshly in his chest.

The announcer talked them through the steps as the waitresses cleared off the tables. When was the last fuckin’ time he’d done somethin’ like this?

You looked tentative as the waitress took your hand, helping you up on the table. Hank looked at you, gazed at your body as you laid back, tried to keep his mind focused on something else and not how you looked sprawled out in front of him. The alcohol let his mind wander. And then your hand halted the waitress and Hank’s mind cleared.

“Y/N?” he asked.

“Hank, you are not drinking a shot out of my bellybutton,” you laughed, glancing around at the other customers doing just that. He didn’t know how to respond so he just stood there looking stupid, feeling stupid for agreeing to this if you were just gonna back out. Fuck, he put himself out there just for you to turn his ass down… You grabbed the salt shaker and looked up at him. “Well? How do you think that salt’s gonna stick, Lieutenant?”

It took him a second to register, but he nodded, grabbing the shot glass the waitress brought over. Slowly, he watched you lift your shirt, saw the exposed skin, almost groaned. You handed him the salt shaker and watched with eager eyes as he dipped his head down toward you. The sensation of his facial hair registered first and then his soft lips pressing an open-mouthed kiss to your abdomen. You inhaled sharply at the sensation, biting your lower lip.

Your fingers almost forgot to fumble for the plate of limes, but you managed to as soon as he started sprinkling the salt on you and then his mouth was back to lick it off your skin. You moaned against the lime in your mouth, unable to hold back.

Hank smirked a little, stood up, took the shot. As he swallowed, he leaned down to get the lime, his mouth lingering over yours before biting into the thing, his lips ghosting over yours.

“Annnd switch!” came the announcer’s voice before Hank was even done.

He pulled back quickly, stood straight, pulled the lime from his mouth, then helped you back off the table.

“I, uh…” he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“My turn,” you chuckled, stepping close to him, pressed your hands to his belly.

“I am not showin’ my shit in here,” he stopped the trail of your hands toward the hem of his shirt.

You shrugged. “Suit yourself,” and instead moved your hands to his collar, pulling it down slightly.

Before Hank knew it, he felt your lips on his neck, tracing your tongue over the sensitive skin, nipping a bit.

“Fuck…” he mumbled, completely aroused at that point.

You sprinkled the salt on the spot then inched up to put your mouth back, flat tongue lapping it up. It ended before he wanted it to and his half-lidded gaze watched as you slammed back the shot.

Fuck.

He grabbed the lime, put it in his mouth, felt like a complete idiot. When he turned back to you, he felt your hands grip on the back of his head, dipped to meet your lips, stopped himself from grinding his body against yours at this close proximity.

Your lips were on his, no shame, no ghosting like he’d done, full-on around the lime, kiss…

You bit the fruit, pulled it from his mouth, tossed it on the plate at the table, then pulled him back in for another kiss.

Hank felt like the floodgates had opened. Fuck, had he thought about what it would be like to kiss you…

His fingers gripped at your hips, pulled you into him, mistakenly let you feel his erection.

“Hank…” you pulled back from the kiss, traced your hands down his torso.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Your order,” came a voice and, go figure, it was that Matt guy holding their burger and fries. “Oh, sorry, am I interrupting something?”

And there it was, perfect timing for you to pull away from him, slap him, call him a pervert for getting so worked up over this…

“Can we get that to go?” you asked Matt and Hank couldn’t help but stare dumbfounded.

“Uh…yeah…I…yeah,” Matt scurried off.

“Too much?” you asked, gnawing at your lower lip.

Hank felt like his jaw was on the floor still. “I mean, this…you…”

“I’m done being in my feelings, Hank, so I’ll be very forward: I want you. This ends one of two ways tonight and both of them I need to leave.”

Hank felt bold for once tonight. “What are the options?” his voice was deeper, laced with flirtation, arousal. He stepped closer to you to hide his erection in case someone was looking.

“Either I go home alone, cold shower, play with myself to get you off my mind…or you take me home, we eat this together, and see where the night takes us.”

Hank never thought he’d leave half-empty drinks at a bar but on this occasion, he gladly raced out with you in tow: dinner in a to-go box, whiskey half-drunk next to the tip on the table.

So maybe you weren’t lying – you weren’t into Connor after all…

#hank anderson #hank anderson x reader #detroit become human reader insert #detroit become human #hank anderson reader #hank anderson reader insert #clancy brown #detroit become human x reader

299 notes · View notes

miraculouscontent · 4 years ago

Text

Ask Explosion #9:

Asks answering previous posts:

Sabrina, I have one word of advice for you...

R U N

“Chat, please stop talking.”

“But that’s my thing!”

“YOU JINX EVERYTHING!!”

Ayyyyyy~

Well, it’s something, I suppose?

Answered this here.

It absolutely did. Bless you, kind and hilarious citizien. ;P

I’m torn because... on one hand, I want to give proper mythology and such for like--anything that’d be put into the show, but on the other, I liked the idea that Alix’s brother was just sort of a conspiracy who thought of stupid stuff (which is why I kept the concept for MC Jalil Kubdel).

Zoe did it really well in Scarlet Lady where Alix knew the actual mythology and started blurting it out whenever Jalil got it wrong.

New Asks:

Considering “Ikari Gozen,” I imagine Alya and Kagami don’t get along as well. I agree with basically everyone that Marinette and Kagami not getting along is bad, but Alya and Kagami not really getting along makes more sense and is more tolerable.

Since Alya is Marinette’s “““BFF”““ (supposedly), I could see her kind of being like, “You’re competing with my girl over the same guy,” and keeping Kagami at arm’s length, worried that keeping Kagami close will allow Kagami to be closer to Adrien since Adrien is an extension of their friend group (kinda, sorta, not really, but Marinette calling him a friend so technically--)

You know, Alya trying to be a good friend and help Marinette with Adrien in more subtle ways. It’s the wrong way to go about it but she’s trying.

LUKANETTE IS AMAZING IN TERMS OF PROGRESSION KDJNGJDFG, I ADORE IT. Every episode they share together, we either learn something new about them or see more details on their relationship.

I think I was already all-in before “Silencer,” but man, that episode just sealed it even more. I was like well dang, why does the love square even EXIST???

jfdngjkfdjgfdg

Incredible. Only problem is that the creator doesn’t know how to use it properly.

You mean fourteen year olds aren’t perfect human beings???? :o

(no, but really, that’s me all the time; like, she’s barely a teen!)

He’ll believe it if it’s Chat Noir who’s doing it. If Marinette ever does it though, he’ll be sure to shut it down. ;P

Ugggggh, the worst part is that I have the same exact fear that they really are going to be like yeah Ladybug you silly fool Chat Noir has been with you since the beginning!

I mean, we’re already basically getting that with the New York special; Chat was supposed to protect Paris and then didn’t tell Ladybug that he “had to” leave for New York (and the New York thing is inadvertently Marinette’s fault and parts of the fandom actually did blame her for it even though it was Chat’s choice not to say anything), then Ladybug gets upset with him when she discovers it mid-battle, which leads to Chat being distracted and Cataclysming someone (another thing that Ladybug can be “inadvertently” blamed for), then Chat gives up his miraculous so Ladybug isn’t even allowed to be angry and cue the later line of “I can’t imagine being Ladybug without... him.”

So clearly that’s saying something. Adrien doesn’t get anything close to that level and Marinette is chewed out for not asking him to stay when Nino had already asked him too.

It’s like--Marinette chooses to go after Adrien and then gets either nothing in return, or humiliated by the narrative, and then in the New York special, she decides to do nothing and everything still goes wrong while Alya yells at her for it. The “damned if she does, damned if she don’t,” on display is stunning. The girl tries to confess and it’s like, “no, not allowed, but Chat is allowed to confess.”

I still don’t understand this logic of his overarching plot but also “there’s not much of a timeline.” I think the only solid thing we’ve ever gotten was something about all the episodes in one season coming after all the episodes in a previous one, but there are still things that don’t add up? The only thing the season 3 production order will give is making sure the hero debuts work out (so no Viperion or Pegase before “Party Crasher,” for example).

It’s not really reliable. I mean, like--I’ve been experimenting with timelines for a while, and stuff like “Miraculer” baffles me. It’s basically non-canon with no value whatsoever. All it does is make “Heart Hunter” look even more confusing and treats Marinette even more horribly for not picking Chloe when she explicitly told Chloe that she wasn’t getting it back.

I’m not familiar with that one! Is it any good?

(Okay, I actually was too curious and ended up looking it up; fancy! I couldn’t have guessed that it was a webtoon! I started reading the 1st issue and before I knew it, I was on the 6th! Oops~)

Lila is totally Rashta, 100% agree. The fact that the comments have a nickname of “Trashta” for her, equivalent to Liar Rossi, says as much ;P

Because lessons that involve telling someone that they’re valid and allowed to feel a certain way don’t apply to Marinette. Isn’t it nice? :3

Not that I know of? Though I also don’t look for that kind of thing, so it’s possible that it exists and I just don’t know about it.

Even if it did exist thought, I don’t see a problem with you doing your own regardless. Good luck if you do!

No. No I do not. ;P

GREETINGS FELLOW INTJ!

And yeah, I’m not really capable of not analyzing shows. There are some small exceptions, but they’re usually not full shows in the normal sense. If there’s an ongoing plot, my mind tends to be working at all times.

In terms of Miraculous, Season 1 was harmless enough where I was bothered but pretty quiet about it, but then it just got progressively worse. It really feels like one of those things you can’t unsee when it finally hits you, y’know?

I’m glad I was able to help you get that satisfaction you need (and appreciate Lukanette, of course ;3)!

Non-Miraculous Asks:

(some heavy Puella Magi Madoka Magica salt below)

Wow, this is a really dedicated ask! Nice!

Gonna go point by point here:

1 - Yeah, the whole thing with Homura not “being able” to save everyone... kinda questionable, and I didn’t really buy the arguments they used to explain it away. I think there was this one PSP game or something with Madoka Magica where you could kind of choose what happened (like, there were bad ends where Sayaka didn’t get her soul gem back in time and her body was partially decayed; ick) and I think there’s a good end where Homura saves everyone but--yeah, not canon.

I just don’t care for twisted stories like that unless there is actually a good end on the horizon (and I mean like “Everyone Lives and is Happy” good end). Angst is just so exhausting so the second I saw Mami’s head being bitten I was just like, “Ah, okay, so we’re doing this then.”

2 - Eugh, the sexism thing. It’s so... yeah, and especially this because the whole “girls are emotional” thing, I don’t really care whether or not the show is trying to “subvert” or “explain” anything, it just feels like poor taste and I don’t like it. (I also didn’t know about that Death Note thing because I didn’t watch it, but geez.)

3 - Wow, I’ve been away from the show for so long that I forgot what Mami’s wish was; I thought it was to “not be alone” or something (or maybe not die alone?? I really don’t remember), but either way, the fact that it follows some sort of genie wish logic is just--*sigh*--they’re teenage girls, come on (plus, the “genie wish logic” is really overdone to me anyway).

4 - The other thing about Sayaka is that it’s really predictable that she’d “die so quickly.” Basically everything was pointing to her just being annihilated at some point, and being Madoka’s best friend, it was pretty inevitable that she’d go.

((semi-unrelated, but someone also asked me which character’s name was lied about before episode 3 hit and they wondered if it was Sayaka’s; it was Kyubey’s))

Yikes. Sorry you had to experience that.

Anyway, I guess I’m not experienced enough in multiple fandoms to say for sure? If I was ever in a fandom, I would just blacklist the people/stuff I didn’t like, so I didn’t get to see a tong of “bad things” going on.

+ I try really hard not to generalize fandoms into one thing.

𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝓝𝓸𝓻𝓶𝓼 𝓐𝓻𝓮 𝓢𝓽𝓾𝓹𝓲𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓑𝓸𝔂𝓼 𝓐𝓻𝓮 𝓐𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓛𝓲𝓴𝓮 “𝓖𝓲𝓻𝓵𝔂” 𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼

Oof, uhhh, shows, huh? That’s tough.

I think the main ship from Given (Mafuyu and Ritsuka) is really adorable (you might’ve seen the amusing video of their love being mutual before), and while I would’ve said the same thing for the kinda-sorta side ship, it gets--uh... really bad during the movie/rest of the manga, I’ll just say that much.

Mafuyu and Ritsuka though, totally adorable.

Inuyasha kinda? Though Inuyasha and Kagome are definitely not the kind of romantic chemistry that I lean towards (I find “the bickering couple” to be rather exhausting). Plus, Cardcaptor Sakura did the “male tsundere” better than Inuyasha did (though the Clear Card Arc was terrible, at least it’s not canon kinda-sorta? idk it seems like a mix of the anime and manga so...).

After that there’s...

...

hm.

I mean, there’s probably a couple more examples somewhere, but--yeah, I’ve got nothing. Maybe if I thought back to all the generic children shows I watched when I was little (like those old Disney live-action shows; I had no taste when I was younger), there might’ve been something that satisfied kid me but idk.

I don’t remember what post inspired this, but I have no problem answering regardless, ahaha~

My main issue is Aang’s attitude about the whole thing. I’m not saying it was right of Katara to go out and get “revenge via murder” exactly, but I also think that Zuko had the right idea with allowing her to go and face the man who killed her mother so she could get some form of closure (also note that Zuko doesn’t express any sort of opinion when Katara decides not to kill him; he just wanted her to have whatever she thought she needed to heal).

It’s also the episode where Zuko directly confronts Aang on his “violence isn’t the answer” rhetoric which then goes completely ignored as Aang lionturtles his way out of the conflict. Aang is also not confronted on his point of “forgiveness is the first step to healing” (when Katara has a right not to forgive and Aang isn’t challenged outside of Katara commenting on it) and was permitted to ride his high horse when Katara “steals” Appa like, “It's okay, because I forgive you... that give you any ideas?” which is just--

reaaaaaally "holier than thou”-esque when Aang is like, ten, and Katara is a sort of motherly figure to him. The episode even has Sokka praise Aang for how “wise” he is and I groaned through the entire thing.

Another smaller thing is that it sort of makes the air kingdom look way too “perfect” by having Aang be the “source of wisedom,” especially when it’s like “violence isn’t the answer” while all the other airbenders are dead.

#((Guess who lost asks AGAIN.))#((Ugh I'm so annoyed this laptop is really giving up on me I swear.))#((I lost like fifteen.))#((Most of them were ones I was really looking forward to answering as well.))#((Basically needed an emergency restart while I was saving all of them.))#((Really sorry about that for the last fifteen or so asks I had.))#((I remember one from emikogale that involved the ideal ending of the show and that one was great.))#((and another about the fandom not really getting along that said particularly nice things but UGH.))#((If you sent me an ask recently and it's not here then it probably got washed out.))#((Because I don't recall just outright deleting anything because I didn't want to answer it.))#((I'll try to save a whole snapshot of my inbox beforehand so this won't happen again.))#((Seriously sorry.))#((Know that I saw it and likely approved of it but stuff happened and I acknowledge it's my bad.))#((Winter is just really out to get me isn't it? ugh))#character: Sabrina Raincomprix #character: Alya Cesaire #character: Marinette Dupain Cheng #character: Chat Noir #character: Sabine Cheng #category: staff #category: salt #other: non ml talk #other: ask and answer

33 notes · View notes

jilyesplz · 4 years ago

Note

Hi, sorry for what is most likely a very weird ask 😢 but I've never read TLAT since physically I don't have the circumstances to commit to such a long abandoned and unresolved fic, but i love all your stories and writing so I read your TLAT fics too! I loved them, especially the fluff dribbles because you give them such delicious dynamic 😍. I read the first chapter of Potter and Evans too and I think I understood most of it even without knowing the backstory, but I have one question if it's OK? I know this must be selfish of me but could you tell me what's the deal with James and Carlotta? Was she the prettiest girl in school? Did he really love her and then she dumped him?! 😱

Hi! First of all thank you so much for reading my stories, especially the continuation when you haven’t read the OG? :o I’m honored! This ask is not selfish at all, although I do really, really, really recommend reading TLAT! It genuinely is such a beautiful work of art. With that said...spoilers are definitely available, so I don’t ~think~ it’s evil of me to answer this?? i honestly feel kinda guilty abt this lmao but...below the cut!

Hoo mama. Strap in for this fuckin ride. (This got unbelievably long so TL/DR at bottom lmao, but a lot of it is actually relevant to P&E)

First off, yes, Carlotta Meloni is the prettiest girl in school. That is her main character trait. Her main personality trait is knowing it.

We....hate her with the fire of a thousand suns. Everything’s fine lmao.

So in July before 7th year, James and Lily almost kiss. It’s...wow. Just...WOW. But Lil is drunk and scared of her own feelings, so she calls it off at the last second, which James takes as 'nothing is ever going to happen between us.’ Then he pops off to his beach house as The Rich are wont to do. Carlotta is there, she flirts, he flirts back, she kisses him, he kisses her back, she asks him out, he says (Lily will never love me so) yes.

MEANWHILE, Carlotta’s best (only) friend Shelley Mumps has been in love with James since 462 BC, which Carlotta knows, but Shelley isn’t pretty and he barely knows she exists. It’s very high school. (TLAT starts with its main characters as very immature teenagers, and they grow a TON and become these lovely, insane, completely fantastic people, and then this plotline comes along to be like But Lest You Forget, Wow Are They In Fucking High School. It hurts. Jules is an evil genius.) Shelley hears that Carlotta is dating James, is furious at the betrayal, so she gets a tan (and a weight loss potion and much sluttier clothes) and starts trying to sabotage James’s relationship.

Important background here: Pre-7th year, Carlotta was pretty universally despised by Hogwarts’s female population for shagging all of their boyfriends. So as soon as Shelley starts talking shit, a slow-motion school-wide catfight breaks out...which Mundungus Fletcher decides to monetize. Dung starts taking bets from the student population on whether James will dump Carlotta for Shelley.

Ew.

But again: high school. 1970s. James wants to shut it down, Carlotta says don’t because she prides herself on not caring what other people think (which James does too, but he understands that this is gross and awful. Car doesn’t care). Betting turns into voting on whether James “should” dump Carlotta for Shelley. What the fuck this actually means is left intentionally vague, and it of course becomes a popularity/fuckability contest.

Up to now, Carlotta hasn’t really done anything wrong in this story except (debatably) date her BFF’s crush. That’s about to change.

James wants to end the voting. Carlotta again says don’t, now because (Jesus Fucking Christ, get ready for this one) she has made a secret bet with Shelley: if Car wins, Shelley will leave them alone. If Shelley wins, Carlotta will break it off with James.

Quick note: the whole time, James essentially lets Carlotta make the decisions, acting as if the women are the wronged parties, which, yes, the school is doing a super shitty and sexist thing. But if the roles were flipped and a girl were in James’s situation, we would feel AWFUL for her. I just think it’s important that the school is doing a really horrible thing to James too, and the fact that he’s the James Potter, Head Boy, Quidditch Captain, Universally Beloved Most Popular Bloke in School doesn’t change that. Just because he acts unaffected doesn’t mean he is. James Potter is human. And God, what a human. <3

SOMEONE GIVE THIS BOY A HUG.

Anyway. Vote’s coming up. James rigs it for Carlotta to get everyone to leave them alone. The Marauders, without telling James, rig it for Shelley (because they hate Carlotta for a long list of reasons, and they love Lily, and they know Lily fancies James) (oh, yeah! Lily realized she fancied James on the platform back to school, right before finding out he was with Carlotta. Quite a gut punch).

Carlotta...fucking rigs it...for Shelley.

Fucking.

I cannot.

Twat.

In her defense: James is in L* with Lily, and it would be really, really hard to be his girlfriend. Also, she misses her BFF.

Not in her defense: Literally every decision she makes in this process!!! Talk to him you idiot bitch.

So then Car confesses rigging the vote to Lily and they have a heart to heart (well, more of alternating rants. They’re not mates). L says Car should tell him, but doesn’t tell him herself because she’s Lily, and because she’s worried she would be telling him because she wants him rather than because he really should know...really, she doesn’t tell him because she’s Lily. Car initially doesn’t tell him, they almost kinda get back together. She commits her greatest crime here: once upon a time, Lily told Carlotta and Shelley all the “little things” about James that she’d noticed...it’s one of the story’s first ‘oh fuck, L REALLY likes J’ moments, but way before Lily has come to terms w that. Carlotta....then uses....Lily’s little things speech....to convince J to get back together with her. Dude, she’s worse than Umbridge. But then she changes her mind because Lily has made her feel guilty so she confesses, and they break up.

Wowza. Sorry for the fucking novel. I have...a lot...of feelings.

TL/DR: J started dating Carlotta after L rejected him, while still v much in L*ve with L but trying to deny it. Lots of high school bullshit happened, ending in a school-wide vote about whether J should dump Carlotta for her ex-BFF Shelley who also fancies him. Ew, David. Carlotta and Shelley make a secret deal that Carlotta will dump J if she loses, then Carlotta rigs the vote so she’ll lose. She loses, tells him about the bet and he’s like ‘OK I’m done with you.’ She then changes her mind, tries to get him back, but Lil’s goodness guilts her into telling him the truth about the bet and they break up. So to your questions...yes, no, yes and no. Lil thought maybe he loved Car, and in Potter and Evans, she now thinks he does because she dramatically misinterpreted what Libby was saying—teasing James about how unsuccessful his attempts at moving on were—as bro-y congratulations/teasing for how fast he found a rebound.

#tlat

11 notes · View notes

drug2nugget · 3 years ago

Text

Hey tumbler. I need help to understand what had happened to me. And why I am only getting upset and anxious about it now. So I had this friend we were super close right. Known each other for over 10 years. Her father left her before she was even born but her mother did and odes her best for her. She had developed depression and after quitting school (at 15) she had barley left the house causing her to develop a large anxiety disorder. Of course I feel for her and loved her very much I just felt I let things go far to easily cause she was my only friend. But she honesty didn’t care about others hence why at the age of 16 I was also her only friend. We saw each other at least once a week. At the age of 13 I had gotten a job where I work 9-14 hours a week (I still work there today) and was also doing full time homeschooling plus the multiple hobbies I had to keep myself busy.

So here is where my problem starts 2019-2020 we wear both 15 little did we know COVID was right around the corner she had met this guy. Everyone in my town knows this guy. He used to look after me when I was far younger about 5. He is a pedo. Everyone knew that the guy has had a real hard up bring but doesn’t excuse what he did to her. My friend had asked me to stay at her place on a Saturday night for some mine craft but I work every Saturday night so I turned her down and said we could hang on Sunday. She blamed me for what happened to her on Saturday night. The guy was her neighbour. He had took her to the lake in his car. He took away her innocent. Because I couldn’t or didn’t hangout with her on that night. I blamed myself and I still kinda do. It’s a “what if” kinda blame. “What if I told her he was a pedo” “what if I had hangout with her that night”.

Second big problem and this one I’m real lost about. It was about a mouth from COVID I was staying at her place. We played the sims and talked. Ya know normal friend stuff. That night like usual I went to sleep first. On the floor with mattress and a body pillow folded in half slowly falling asleep. I take a while to go to sleep about an 1 hour to 3 hence why o go to sleep early. I believed at that very moment of Time she was asleep cause she was breathing heavily thought nothing of it. I froze when I heard the other noise. I was wide awake shocked at what was happening “is she?!?” “No she can’t be right?” I never felt so disgusting my skin felt oily running with bugs. The room felt darker. I just didn’t know what to do. Less to say I didn’t sleep that night. In the morning I confronted her about the noise to ask her if she was really pleasuring herself while I was in the room supposedly sleeping. I wanted her to deny it so bad just to laugh it off and let it go. She had confessed to pleasuring her self while I “slept”. I stayed there for about 2 more hours before leaving for home early. I tried to tell my parents in private but I had to tell them what happened in front of an family friend. The gross oily feeling always came back when I entered that house.

Good old number three. This one pretty much ended our friendship plus something I did which I am not proud of.... Another sleepover 16 now. Some backstory for this one. My parents had left for two nights and I had to wake up about 8 in the morning to leave my friends place to go feed the dogs. Backstory over. After saying my good nights I went to sleep fairy quickly for once which I had seen as good luck. Morning came i quietly got dressed and put shoes on ready to go to home. I stood up and sat the fuck right back down. Me and my friend didn’t do this usually “oh yeah we’ve seen each other naked multiple time” not us. So I hope you can believe my shock when I was a whole naked body as I was trying to leave the room. I knew she slept naked but I didn’t know she slept naked while I was there. Two thoughts popped into my bed they were “ I need to get out of here ASAP” and “omg she is gonna so embarrassed and upset when she finds the sheets of her naked body” so I tried to save her the embarrassment and I tried to cover her up with the blanket. She woke up lmao. She was embarrassed and upset. I kinda just looked at her and said bye. Let’s just say we hanged out one more time and that was it the BFF duo was over.

I guess I’ll add one more. I call this one the blocker blocking. After not speaking for a mouth or 2 naturally we slowly grew apart. We were still friends well at least I thought we were. Now comes to the thing I did. Earlier that year I had done a course I met multiple people and one we will call mr h. Mr h was friends with my friend and my friend was friends with mr h’s ex. I had hanged out with him once. Finding out after going to his p,ace that a guy that my friend had fucked and is on bad terms with lives with him. Wasn’t comfortable but even after finding that out I did went back a second time. Mostly because there was a 13 year old girl there. Btw she is a bit of a lost cause now but still a nice girl.

My friend had blocked me on every even PlayStation and spofiy (removing me but Same thing). I again called her out online and got a sad sorry on messenger. I felt uncomfortable because she was staking me.

Am I unjustified for being angry and upset? What can I do to stop thinking about her. I miss that bitch but she makes me feel gross. I want my friend back not the friend who makes me feel gross. Idk why.

6 notes · View notes

madroxed · 5 years ago

Text

the order (season two) thoughts.

so chotoranii asked me for my thoughts on the order season two. of which there are many. posting them here rather than in a reply so tumblr doesn’t fuck up the ‘keep reading’ break.

SO MANY SPOILERS AHEAD, OBVIOUSLY.

OK FOLKS, LET’S DO THIS. SORRY ABOUT THE WORD COUNT.

the good, the bad, and the incomprehensible.

ok SO. overall i thought this season was so much better than season one, especially in terms of production and acting.

i should start by saying, the biggest twist of this season? ME LIKING JACK AS A BLOND. i’ve been dragging that hair for months and i end up digging it? i’m so mad at myself.

ANYWAY the first three episodes? flawless! beautiful! amazing! they honestly took everything i could have listed as wanting and put it onscreen. jack trying out for cheer squad and having to stay on cheer squad to keep up the act? them finding each other almost immediately? the jokes about orgies? jack taking the knights seriously and holding on to his anger over the memory wipe? lilith and nicole? nicole in general? RANDALL AND HAMISH FAKE DATING (however briefly, seriously, i will be writing fic where they have to keep that up because i am betrayed that it was never brought up again and if you think i didn’t throw my laptop across the bed so i could run around screaming you’d be wrong)? A MAGIC HEIST?

honestly, all perfect.

............then the season started to go downhill. don’t get me wrong, there were still some excellent parts, but they were hindered by two things:

the plot jumping about too much to be comprehensible.

the fact that we the viewers are supposed to believe that randall carpio and hamish duke would not tear the world apart for lilith bathory immediately.

the first is forgivable; the first season’s plot was a simple enough device that meant it dragged a little at times. this season they seemed to not want to fall into that trap again, but in doing so threw something so big in that they needed far too much exposition because they didn’t have enough time to show it (a trait they fell into in a lot of ways, we’ll get back to that). SHOW, DON’T TELL, FOLKS. that being said, i really liked salvadore as a character, and the idea of a group of people striving to make magic accessible to all was a cool moral quandary plot.

the second is unforgivable to me, and led to the majority of my issues with the season. i understand the knights becoming members of the order (cool concept), i understand them struggling with conflicting loyalties because of it, but what i don’t understand is the fact that randall spent the majority of the season saying “let’s get lilith back!” only to back down at the first push back, and hamish was the push back. because......the order had other problems. IN WHAT UNIVERSE DO THE KNIGHTS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER NOT PUT EACH OTHER FIRST AND SAY FUCK EVERYONE ELSE?

(jack i understand, if only because we saw so much of it last season. his loyalties are kinda flaky. i do understand his loyalty to vera; not only did she play a huge part in taking down edward last season, but the mind link thing and learning all her pain would have stuck with him. he loves a cause, that boy. also hey ho! jack was so much more likeable this season! we love to see it.)

also i just really missed lilith.

(thank fuck for nicole never giving up.)

the amount of callbacks to season one were fantastic. they didn’t just move on and leave it be, they referenced basically everyone, and seeing professor clarke and kyle again was a nice touch just to tie things together. there also being discussions about jack’s pete related trauma was great and necessary.

ok, so alyssa. i take back my post about how great it would be for her to be the villain. this was so much better. her trauma in the wake of both season one and then accidentally killing someone leading to her feeling so conflicted and lost and alone? her magic malfunctioning when it’s all she feels she has? we’ve always known she was ambitious, but to see her face straight on the idea that she may be left completely powerless and no one really listening or trying to help her except a hive mind that’s also hurting her? o u c h.

we saw this season that the real problem with the order is its motto of ‘hurry up and wait’. ‘we’ll save lilith.....just do all these other things first!’ ‘we’ll get alyssa’s magic back......there’s just more important things right now!’ it’s all so easy to see how that could frustrate someone so much they can’t take it anymore.

i’m so pleased i loved alyssa so much this season. i desperately wanted to and i’m glad they gave me that. i just felt so much for her. she just wanted to not feel so alone and so helpless and so scared that she was going to pick the wrong side again. it was beautiful.

this also meant alyssa/jack was better this season. having got the insta-love out the way last season (ugh), this season they were able to actually look at how that would play out if you took ramifications into consideration. all the problems i had with them last season were vocalised onscreen, and this new unstable thing left in its place was far more appealing to watch. they were messy and bad for each other and they knew it, but that didn’t stop them loving each other.

also: “if we get out of this, can i take you to the mall? because i really hate your jean jacket. and your hair.”

in regards to the other relationships:

lilith and nicole were adorable for the limited amount of time we got them onscreen. the slow crush to nervous dating was beautiful, and seeing lilith struggle with what getting her memories back meant in regards to that was great. we all know i thought the lilith/randall of last season was rushed, so having lilith torn over hurting one of the most important people in her life and following these feelings for someone new was lovely. IF WE GET A SEASON THREE I BETTER GET SO MUCH MORE OF THEM.

here’s the thing, putting aside lilith/nicole for a moment: the order can’t write good relationships (*with one major caveat).

hear me out.

in season one it was insta-love. jack and alyssa meet and suddenly defending alyssa is the only thing that matters to jack. it....wasn’t good. randall and lilith were thrown together with very little build up and we were supposed to roll with it.

this season we had both hamish/vera and randall/gabrielle. i would like to say that theoretically i am here for both of these. but.

hamish/vera occurred off screen. oh, sure, we had a couple scenes of them staring at each other over drinks, but that was all we got until late into the season. we were told that hamish and vera were a thing by randall when he was winding hamish up. we didn’t see it for ourselves. again, this show’s habit of telling not showing is a problem.

hamish and vera could make sense. two leaders of opposing factions having sort of hate, begrudging respect sex? i see it. from there, you can show us how it would become something more.

the show doesn’t.

we’re told they’re together. we’re told hamish is forsaking his knightly duties in favour of vera. we’re told by hamish that he’s drunk the order koolaid,

and all of this is supposed to culminate in us believing that hamish duke - tundra, leader of the knights of saint christopher, the most cunning of the wolves - would push aside everything else because he just believes that much in vera stone? to the point that he would all but abandon lilith and degrade his relationship with randall to randall being the annoying sidekick?

i woke up at two a.m. to write a note on my phone that says: ‘the greatest tragedy of the order season two is hamish duke’s character assassination.’ and i stand by that.

besides lilith’s absence for almost the whole season, it’s the thing i’m most mad about. i love hamish so much and to one-dimensionalise him in favour of a ship is...............shoddy work honestly.

so like i said. HAMISH/VERA COULD HAVE BEEN GOOD, BUT FOR FUCKSAKE SHOW, YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY DEVELOP THIS SHIT.

randall/gabrielle was better developed. by which i mean we actually saw them interacting on screen. we got to see them begrudgingly working together, we saw him learn more about her, we heard them talk about her need to fit in somewhere. when they made the joke about being bffs? good stuff. would i like them to slowburn this shit? yes please. have them become best friends and then have those feelings be something else. i would really like that. the show just needs to.......slow down. not immediately see a single character and need to throw them into a relationship with the nearest person.

gabrielle was great this season. by which i mean, she was gabrielle, and we love some consistent characterisation. i think it’s so true to everything we know about her that she’d want to inject herself into the knights’ world; she wants to be part of the in-crowd, and right now that’s them. she’s also supremely jealous of alyssa because, to her, it seemed like alyssa had the best of both worlds. so, yes, her wanting to be around the knights and that developing into her begrudgingly liking them makes a lot of sense to me.

so, my caveat.

the relationship the order knows how to write? the knights. hamish, randall, lilith, and jack. that dynamic saved season one from being a total mess. that dynamic thrived in the early episodes of this season. IT’S JUST THAT GOOD. i said once that if the order just became greek (2007) but with werewolves i’d be happy, and the first three episodes really gave me that.

THE KNIGHTS ARE EACH OTHER’S SOULMATES, ASK ME HOW.

is this an excuse for me to complain that they gave us a hint of hamish/randall and then cruelly snatched it away and i’m still mad about it? YOU BETCHA.

is this also my way of saying there wasn’t nearly enough jack/randall this season? YOU BETCHA.

removing lilith from the equation (I’M STILL SO MAD) and then having hamish pull away from randall because..........who the fuck knows, was just a recipe for disaster.

clearly lilith is the glue that holds these idiots together.

so, vera. katherine isabelle still just steals every scene she’s in. i love her. i love vera’s characterisation. i love that she’s shamelessly ambitious but also wants the order to succeed and the world not to end. i love that she can be cold and cruel and still have such soft spots for both jack and alyssa. i love that she can be vulnerable and angry about it. i just........think vera’s pretty fucking great, tbh.

i still don’t understand why the knights - after their infiltration revenge plans go tits up - decide to just go full on order. like??????? hamish and jack barely even questioning anything???? randall must have spent most of this season feeling so alone.

that being said, when jack said to nicole and randall that he knew what they needed to get lilith back and the conversation pretty much went:

jack: you’re okay betraying the order?

nicole: for lilith, anything.

randall: i’d literally betray the order for a cookie, haven’t you been listening?

we love to see it.

OH, HEY GUYS, REMEMBER WHEN IAN ZIERING AND JASON PRIESTLEY WERE MEMBERS OF THE ORDER AND JASON PRIESTLEY BECAME GRAND MAGUS FOR A HOT SECOND???? that was written solely for me. i do not know who this show thinks its audience is, but it understands me to my core.

so...............i have zero clue where the show intends to go from here. i just need alyssa to be ok and i hope - like his friend randall - jack is willing to kill whoever the hell he has to to make that happen. (we stan randall straight up murdering someone to get lilith back and making sure nicole remains innocent and safe tbh.)

SO TL;DR: the early episodes gave me life. the show declined from there, but i still enjoyed it a lot. the order is at its best when the knights are a team, i loved alyssa’s story this season, and i have no clue what to expect from next season (if we get one). werewolf alyssa? villain jack, perhaps? we’ll see!

THIS POST PROBABLY SEEMS TOO NEGATIVE BUT HI! I STILL LOVED THIS SEASON A LOT AND I LOVE MY KIDS WITH MY WHOLE HEART AND IF YOU READ ALL A MILLION WORDS OF THIS THEN I LOVE YOU TOO.

also if anyone has any hamish/randall prompts i’ll be hanging out over here crying into my hands for the next few weeks. FAKE DATING. how dare they?!

#the order #the order spoilers #the order netflix #THIS IS.....TOO LONG I'M SORRY #i love this show so much????#but it's also a mess?????#basically my brand lbh

87 notes · View notes

turning-dreams-into-chaos · 4 years ago

Text

Requests are: Open ONLY for JATP characters!

This is my official request list I will edit whenever I open requests, so if you request something and it’s not on this list, I didn’t get it or I won’t be doing it!

Requests I’m working on:

Luke Patterson:

jatp prompt - modern au reader is fake dating alex so his parents get off his back, but secretly dating Luke but then reader and Alex get invited to a fancy party at Alex’s parents company or whatever and they start to panic cue luke and Reggie ALSO fake dating, managing to con their way into the fancy party so that luke can support his secret gf (Y/N) and his best friend.

Luke x reader!? Luke writes Perfect Harmony about Julie’s best friend after getting close to her/stars writing songs with her. Which she ends up finding and gets a little jealous/sad because she thinks it’s about Julie but the guys/Julie try to convince her the song is about her (right before they play it at an upcoming gig).

I hope you're still taking JATP requests. Cus I thought of something after you requested for me haha. SO can I request a 1995 Luke x reader where the reader is BFF's with the boys and basically their roadie. The reader finds out Luke ran away from home and so his parents contact her, hoping she knows his whereabouts. She knew Luke left on bad terms, so she kept the promise she made and told them no before leaving w/ Sunset Curve on their road to fame.

Mini series Idea: What if reader was Lukes girlfriend and had died the same night as him then when he comes back she does too but he doesn’t recognise her or have any memories of her and she fights to remind him? Julie even finds an entire book of songs he had written all about her and when he plays them he remembers her?

James Potter:

could u maybe work on a lil james potter fic (cus ur reqs for him are open)? one where he’s trying so hard to get a girl in the quidditch team (but she’s bolder than he is so she tells him she’ll only join if he goes on a date w her) i thought it’d be pretty cool… thank u

I don’t know if you are taking one shot requests but if you are, I would like to request a James Potter x reader (different houses, not specified) where they enter a Hogwarts Couples Baking Challenge and they’re just having fun. Thanks!

I was wondering if you could do a James Potter blurb where the reader and him were in love in there Hogwarts years but the reader was forced to become a Death Eater he found out and realized she was telling the truth but the reader was like “Go live your life with Lily.” And he did but the reader and James have a child then in The Order everyone finds out everything(even the child). Sorry if it’s a lot. I’ve had this idea for ages but I seriously can’t write it. Sadly. Thank you dear!

Remus Lupin:

Hey! Can I request a oneshot with Remus where he likes reader who is Lily’s best friend and us smarter than her too and is also a prefect? He asks for her help to study and accidentally confesses his feelings at the same time/or confesses during one of their prefect rounds? Thankyou!

Bellamy Blake:

Hi!! I love your work! I was wondering if you could write a Bellamy x reader based on the song Hot Girl Bummer by blackbear! Thank you ❤️ have a nice day!

John Murphy:

John Murphy with a reader that got her arm or leg or both taken on earth and it’s about her recovering and John helping her. If you can’t do John then sorry for bothering!!

Bucky Barnes:

I wasn’t going to ask this because I already requested something (believe me when I say I read the moment I knew lots of times already), but just trying it won’t hurt me, right? (right? 😭) I need something based on lover of mine by 5sos it can be bellamy, sirius, james, remus or bucky, whoever you think would fit better. thank you for putting up with my shit 🤧 love you tons - 🍑 (I’m choosing Bucky because I haven’t written him in forever 😂)

MASTER

#todo list #requests #requests closed #bellamy Blake x reader #John murphy x reader #Remus Lupin x reader #Sirius black x reader #james potter x reader #Bucky Barnes x reader

33 notes · View notes

diariesof-kg · 3 years ago

Text

Love & Order.

08_01_2021

I am bothered that I keep having dreams about this person. I am confused why my mind is going in reverse. Why my mind creates these visuals of us happy and being together when that could never be. Perhaps it’s the illusion of the mind. Perhaps my dream is the reality of false hopes. It’s strange and I need it to stop. There are moments that I do miss, I can be honest about but I feel as those the rush of disappointments erased all of that.

I do embrace the dreams because they are true feelings that I had. I really loved and cared about her deeply. It is extremely hard to make me fall in love. I don’t rush into using the word love either. I have to feel it on a spiritual level before it leaves my mouth. I am at most disappointed with myself though. I reflect a lot and think, girl, you were blinded because you left a lot of people behind for things they did to you and you couldn’t see any of this coming.�� But relationships are complicated as usual. The last time we had a disagreement, was when she was doing my hair. And I remember I just got over it quick and asked for a kiss. And that was the end of it. There are positive reasons why I stayed although it felt toxic as hell. I had experienced things I didn’t experience in my past relationships. I legit slept on the couch, floor after an argument from my past. I legit couldn’t get a hug or kiss. It was bad and so part of me was getting something different and I stayed. There were positive moments.

After the court proceedings, I reflected on what was said. She said she bit me to get me to leave. But I was bit outside of your residence and it wasn’t a nibble, it was cuts in my arms and a nasty bruise that looked gross overtime. That statement made me sick to my stomach. It just reminded me of victims in domestic violence situations get blamed for them being harmed. She admitted to it, but still didn’t apologize. It was disgusting. This is why I will speak on what happened to me to the masses. Because there are so many victims who live in silence, because of how conditioned they have become from their partners. Like when she told me her friend slit her wrist and wrote I love you all over the girlfriend walls because they were breaking up. What excuse is that? What if your friend killed her girlfriend, you are going to blame the dead? She shouldn’t have broken up with someone crazy, then she’d be alive. This is truthfully sick. It makes sense why your friends are your friends and why as a flock of pigeons, neither one of you really held each other accountable. Her and her friends find excuses to one’s actions and blames the victims. That’s honestly scary. I am lowkey scared for my life now. I mean wow. And then the person who paid you to mail drugs or what have you told you the police was coming and to not come home. I should report his ass. LOL. He part of the problem too. You have a whole ring device to avoid the police from your recreational activities. Oh boy.

I am at peace though. I feel refreshed after everything that has happened. I wish I could date someone else, but I am stuck, well my soul is stuck on the person who betrayed me. I am patiently waiting for everything to resolve itself, so that I can move on and be with someone else. I feel like the timing and the universe will work itself out. I honestly love the Buffins. The way they built their foundation and their relationship is goals. They both have great work ethics and indulge in each other. I know where they are with each other took a lot of time, but when you know that person is your forever I am going to have to assume something silently dings. I thought she was my person too, but somehow I was wrong. Still upset with myself about that. I even thought, what if all this blows over and we reunite but then I think to myself, she told a federal employee that I stole her identity. I just can’t forgive that. That’s really dangerous to lie like that. You walking around Los Angeles telling lies like that. I work for the government how gross can you get. You could make up any lie on me but that is too far. Even the lawyer was shocked and was like, you work with so many people, why would you choose her. Especially when they ask if she has a job or monies. They trying to understand the motive here. Like that is disgusting. That’s part of my story too. Like I said, someone else is for me. A soulmate. A lifetime partner. I just have to be patient enough. I want to move in with my partner and travel together. I want to propose the whole nine.

So before everything hit the fan, I had this plan to ask her to be my gf. The only person that knew of this was my bff Nay. I had told her to ask her what kind of ring she likes and all these questions. I started taking her out on random dates just to see how things could go. I had bought a ring, lordt nobody knows, because they’d all kill me. Lol. But I did. You can even check my bookmarks. Even when I was planning Big Sur, it was all part of the plot. I remember trying to figure out how to get her out of the resort room to set this all up. I even reached out to a planner. I am very romantic when it comes to showing my partner love. I don’t believe in showing it upfront all the time, because its cliche. I even had the idea of at my house. It was a thing. And this was being planned since December. I think my bff did ask silver or gold and my bff said silver. It was bound to happen regardless of us being on bad terms, because I never give up on what I truly feel. But parts of me is glad I saw those tweets. Because I would have been a dumbass bish looking real stupid. I mean I still looked stupid because I was loyal and not being flirtatious to others. I am still upset at my damn self to be honest.

I wake up everyday feeling great, because I can replan it for someone else. I can fall in love with someone else. I can spoil someone else who will truly love and care about me. Who is secure within themselves and open. That is what keeps me going. Even though I felt broken after April 30th, I told my therapist no one will ever want me. And I cried for a week. I look back and think damn I survived that. Someone will accept me as damage goods and understand my past. I do believe it will happen soon. It’s difficult being that covid has made its rounds again. But I took time from work to refocus on a few things. My room is almost done. Its going to be like a spiritual room when you walk in. You can meditate, write on the board of things you want to let go of and then it’s just that. I my friends to feel at peace when they come in. I know it seems strange but that’s how I want my condo to be as well. Like a zen vibe. I am just waiting for more stuff to be delivered. I am excited about that. I have not have the urge to hop back on any dating sites. I do feel different about myself. I have never had trust issues at all. And now I do. I am definitely scared to get to know someone or allow them to know me. It’s not a good feelings at all. But I do want to be with someone by 2022. I want to share a life with someone. There is no rush but I for one don’t want to be past 35, still can’t be in a relationship.

Parts of me is sad though too. Because we would look at million dollar homes and in my head, I knew how simple it would to get it. But like spiritual z said, you can’t protect her anymore and I have to move on and get out of this cycle. But I do want to settle down by 2022. I want to get this townhouse or condo and then a Tesla. And then whomever is interested can have the choice as we get serious to move in with me or we get a place together. All about communication and commitment and I am ready for that. But also, I have to close this chapter. Which means after telling my story to the blogs, the groups etc. and I am fully healed, I know the universe will be ready to send me someone by the end of the year. I am honestly excited, because I am definitely going to take my future bae on a vacation by the 5th date. I am not playing this time. I have the means to do it, so why not. I saved up enough for anything I desire at this point. Plus thank you MTV and VH1. Thank you for all the bookings honestly.

To end this blog, I will post the responses I received after the domestic violence occurred. I posted this anonymously to avoid being flooded in my inbox. But it made me feel better about the situation, especially when you are torn.

Until next time...

2 notes · View notes

purrincess-chat · 5 years ago

Text

Kill Em With Kindness CH3

It is finished! Now I can move on to chapter 1 of Dogrien to post this week~ I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Uncle Jagged has made his entrance and now things are about to get interesting.

Read on AO3

Chapter 3

“Knock, knock!”

Marinette paused her sewing, a wicked smile curling on her lips as Adrien climbed up carrying a plate of warm cookies.

“From your dad,” he said, holding them up before setting them on her desk and pulling up a chair. “How’s your Ladybug sweater coming along?”

“Great! I was just sewing up the seams now,” she said, smoothing over the red and black sweater that read ‘Ladybug’s bff’ on the front. “With her compromised immune system, I’d hate for Lila to catch a cold from the chilly weather in London on our field trip this week.”

“Wouldn’t that be a shame?” Adrien agreed, cupping a hand to his cheek. “Well, I successfully got Mr. D’Argencourt to give her some one-on-one time to make up her PE grade. He made sure she paced herself and didn’t put too much stress on that bad ankle of hers. It’s a shame she didn’t finish in time to get ice cream with all of us.”

“Well, school is important. We don’t want her to fail the term, do we?” Marinette said with an overly sarcastic tone.

“Of course not! That would just be awful.” He nodded, and they both broke into a fit of giggles. “By the way, I have some good news.”

“Oh?” Marinette quirked a brow, grabbing a cookie.

“Guess when Lila’s birthday is?” Adrien smirked, and she pursed her lips.

“Dunno, when?”

“Some time in August, but guess what I overheard her telling Marc when he asked her to beta read their next comic since she’s such good friends with Ladybug?” He rolled his eyes. “She said she can’t help him because she’s going to Achu with her mother this weekend to celebrate her birthday.”

“But it’s only March,” Marinette said, eyes narrowing. “That brat totally blew them off.”

“Yeah, but it gives me an idea,” he said, tapping his chin. “Okay, so you know how we all planned a big surprise party for you this year?”

“How can I forget? My grandmother got akumatized,” Marinette said pointedly.

“Well, what if we threw Lila a party this Friday before she ‘leaves’ to go to Achu?” He suggested, and Marinette tilted her head to the side in thought.

“What if we centered it around all of her lies? We could have tons of recycle bins for her anti-pollution campaign, we can have the local shelter bring out a bunch of adoptable animals since she loves volunteering, and we can even get Jagged to send a bunch of signed posters for everyone,” Marinette said.

“You’re a despicable genius, Marinette. I’m a little scared.” Adrien eyed her with a smirk, and she turned her nose up.

“Lila had it coming. She did get me expelled,” she said with a defensive huff.

“Not arguing with that. I just hope I never get on your bad side,” he chuckled. “So, what’s our first move?”

“First, we plant the bait for everyone, then we set the trap for Lila. Alya and Mylene volunteer at the animal shelter frequently, so I’m sure they can handle that, and Sabrina’s dad has an in with the city for the recycling bins,” Marinette listed.

“What about Jagged?” Adrien asked, and a sly grin curled on her lips.

“Leave Jagged to me.”

***

“Hello, Penny,” Marinette greeted the following afternoon outside Jagged’s suite.

“Marinette, it’s good to see you, but what are you doing here?” Penny tilted her head to the side.

“Did you say Marinette’s here? Rock on! Let her in,” Jagged called from the grand piano in the middle of the room. “Yo, Marinette, you have to check this new song I’m working on.”

Penny blinked in confusion but stepped aside nonetheless, and Marinette entered with an appreciative smile. Jagged perked up upon seeing her and scooted over to make room for her on the bench.

“What brings you by, Marinette?” He asked, plucking out a melody on the keys.

“I kind of need a favor, if you don’t mind,” she said with a wince.

“Ay, of course. You can ask your ole Uncle Jagged for favors any time,” he said with a grin. “Just tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Well, there’s this girl at my school, and she’s kind of a huge liar-”

“Ugh, I hate liars. I dated a liar once. Great kisser, but he always needed attention. So annoying.” He wrinkled his nose.

“Tell me about it, except this girl is a bit more than just annoying. I called her out for lying a few times, but she always spins things back on me, and now we’re sworn enemies, and she has it out for me,” Marinette said, and Jagged paused his playing.

“D’you want me to feed her to Fang?” Jagged offered, and Marinette considered it a moment.

“Nah, I wouldn’t want to make him sick.” She shook her head. “But me and another friend who knows about her have been plotting a bit of revenge against her since she got me expelled recently.”

“She got you expelled?” Jagged’s fingers slammed onto keys, filling the room with a discordant harmony.

“Yeah. My friend made her fix it in the end, but now we’re done with her lying and manipulating everyone, so we have a plan,” Marinette said before giving him the run down.

“Wow. This is all very high road yet secretly low road of you, Marinette. Rock on!” Jagged smirked, offering a fist for her to bump. “I will totally help you.”

“Thanks, Jagged!” Marinette hugged his chest.

“Anything for my favorite little lady,” he said, giving her a noogie. “But I’ve gotta say, I feel like we can do better than posters. This girl almost ruined your reputation.”

“What do you have in mind?” Marinette tilted her head to the side.

“Well…”

***

“She’s coming!” Nathaniel called, running through the park entrance, and everyone took their places.

“I can’t believe we pulled this off,” Adrien said to Marinette. “I can’t wait to see the look on her face.”

“She’s going to lose her mind.” Marinette winked.

Alya led Lila into the park blindfolded just as she had done for Marinette so many weeks prior only this time, Lila had no idea what to expect.

“Surprise!” Everyone shouted when she removed the blindfold, and Lila’s jaw dropped in confusion and disbelief.

“What’s all this?” She asked with a nervous laugh.

“It’s for your birthday,” Nathaniel said as if it were obvious.

“Yeah, you’re going to Achu tomorrow, so we wanted to celebrate today,” Alya explained, and Marinette saw the gears click.

“Oh, you guys! You didn’t have to,” she said modestly.

“You’re our bud, and you do so much for the world. We wanted to make sure you had a great bday,” Nino said, wrapping an arm around Alya’s shoulders.

“You guys are too sweet. Thank you.” Lila placed a hand over her heart.

“Thank Marinette and Adrien. They orchestrated all of this,” Alya said, and they waved to her with cheery grins which she met with a brief hint of skepticism that she morphed into a smile of her own.

“We made sure to celebrate all of your achievements,” Adrien said, gesturing to their spread. “We had the city bring in recycling bins to cut back on the garbage, and all of the party decorations are made from recycled materials.”

“We also asked a local shelter to bring by some adoptable animals for us to socialize,” Alya said, pointing to the pins of dogs across the sidewalk. “And finally, Marinette has a super epic surprise!”

Lila flicked her gaze to Marinette, her eyes narrowing under that elastic smile.

“It was no big deal, really,” Marinette said without averting her gaze. “He absolutely jumped at the opportunity when I told him it was for you.”

“Yo, Lila! Long time no see, huh?”

Lila blanched a little as Jagged approached with Penny and Fang in tow, and Marinette crossed her arms over her chest with a smirk.

“Thanks for coming, Jagged,” she said sweetly.

“Of course. Anything for my two favorite ladies.” Jagged pulled them both in for a hug. “I’d love to personally give all of your little friends autographs, and Marinette even agreed to help me sing your favorite song of mine. You know, the one I wrote for you, Lila.”

“Uh, yeah, that’s so generous of both of you, but you don’t have to do that,” Lila said, holding up cautioning hands.

“Why not?” Adrien asked, shoving his hands in his pockets as everyone gave her similarly perplexed looks.

“Uh, I have a headache, so loud noises probably aren’t the best,” she said, and Marinette and Adrien exchanged looks.

“Oh, is your tinnitus coming back? I have an ear plug, and I’ve started carrying around painkillers just in case you ever need it,” Marinette said, reaching into her purse, and Lila stared down at the items in her hand blankly.

“Wow, Marinette. You sure think of everything, don’t you?” Lila said through gritted teeth.

“She’s so detail-oriented. It’s what makes her such a good designer. That’s why she’s one of my favorite little rockers. Second only to you, of course, Lila,” Jagged said.

“I’m just doing my part. We can’t all save African villages, but we can be there for each other,” Marinette said, clasping her hands together with an innocent beam. “I just wanted to make sure my amazing friend had a great birthday.”

“So thoughtful of you,” Lila cooed, though Marinette could see the rage burning behind her smile.

“Alright then, who wants an autograph?” Jagged asked, holding up a pen, and their classmates all crowded around him.

Marinette and Adrien stood back on either side of Lila with impish grins.

“I don’t know what you two are planning, but you’d better tread carefully,” Lila said under her breath.

“What’s the matter, Lila?” Marinette asked.

“Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted?” Adrien added, and Lila’s eyes narrowed.

“Drop the act. I’m not an idiot, and if either one of you even thinks about starting anything-”

“Gosh, I didn’t realize inviting Jagged was going to upset you so much. I thought you two were good friends,” Marinette said, pressing a hand to her lips.

“I’m serious, you two. Call off the song, or else,” Lila said, shifting her gaze between them. “I’m not dumb. I know you’re going to get Jagged to diss me in front of everyone.”

“You really think we’d do such a thing?” Marinette gasped, and Lila rolled her eyes.

“I haven’t bought your whole nice act from the moment it started, but if you threaten me, I can get you kicked out of Paris for good,” Lila growled.

“That seems like an unkind thing to do to a friend. Marinette worked really hard to put all of this together, Lila,” Adrien said with a warning tone, wrapping an arm around Marinette’s shoulders as her face fell.

“No, it’s okay. Lila doesn’t want us to sing, so we won’t. It’s her birthday after all,” Marinette said. “I’ll let everyone know.”

Lila and Adrien watched her join the crowd before Lila turned to him with a scowl.

“I don’t know what you two are up to-”

“We’re just trying to be your friends, Lila,” Adrien cut her off.

Lila glared up at him, jaw clenching, and his face hardened for one brief moment.

“But you might wanna tread carefully,” he said, giving her a pointed look before a smile broke over his lips again, and he patted her shoulder. “Happy Birthday, Lila.”

“Oh, your throat is sore?” Alya was saying when they joined the group.

“Yeah, just a tickle, but I’d hate to ruin the performance,” Marinette said with a frown. “But maybe it’s for the best. Lila has a headache still, and when I told her about it, she was totally cool with putting it off for another day.”

“It’s a shame. We must have worked too hard rehearsing it last night,” Jagged said. “Hey, here’s a thought. Why don’t you all come to my concert tomorrow? You can rest your chops tonight and perform with me tomorrow. All of your friends can come.”

“Wow, really?” Marinette perked up.

“Of course! I want to rock out with you for sure,” Jagged said, ruffling her hair.

“Oh, but Lila’s going to Achu tomorrow,” Marinette said, deflating again. “She won’t be able to make it.”

“Don’t worry, love. Lila gets to go to my concerts all the time. She won’t be too upset missing one chance to come backstage with everyone. Isn’t that right, Lila?” Jagged gave her a look, and Lila’s spine stiffened.

“Uh, yeah. I get to sing with you all the time. It’s no biggie,” she said, and Jagged patted Marinette’s shoulder.

“See? She’s cool with it, so whaddya say? Wanna rock out with your Uncle Jagged?” He asked.

“If it’s really alright then…okay!” Marinette perked up, and all of their classmates crowded around her excitedly.

Lila crossed her arms over her chest as everyone broke off to enjoy the rest of the party. Marinette may have won this battle, but Lila didn’t intend to lose the war. She wouldn’t be so easily fooled next time.

“Ya know.” She jumped a little as Jagged draped an arm over her shoulder. “Marinette told me everything, and if it were me, I would have totally asked me to call you out in front of all your little friends today, but she didn’t.”

Lila averted her gaze.

“Marinette is one amazing little chick, and she’s like family to me. If anyone ever hurts her, they’ll have me to answer to, and they’ll learn that I’m not so nice,” Jagged said. “Just a little something for you to keep in mind. Because she’s miraculous, simply the best, up to the test when things go wrong- hey, ya know, now I could make a song out of that.”

He patted her shoulder before pacing over to join Marinette and Adrien, and Lila closed her shaking hands into fists. If this was the game they wanted to play then fine, but they were about to learn what a formidable foe she could be.

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain-cheng #adrien agreste #jagged stone #my writing #kewk

388 notes · View notes

blazerina · 5 years ago

Text

Connected - Harper/Ethan/Allie (MC) - Open Heart

Connected – Harper/Ethan/Allie (MC) – Open Heart

Word Count: 2612

A/N: This story is based on this amazing song A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant to Be – sent to me and requested by @unusualvisionsblog – thank you so much for the inspiration to finish this story. It took me a while but I’m really proud of how it all ended up.

Tagging my two fandom BFF’s @justanotherrookie and @parkerattano because they never fail to encourage and motivate me. Thankful for you ladies!

Lyrics to the song are below – I encourage you to listen while reading. It really sets the tone!

A Soulmate Who Wasn’t Meant to Be

I never should have called

‘Cause I knew you’d leave me

But I didn’t think

You could do it

So easily

I never should have held your hand

On that cold rainy night

‘Cause further along

It would cause another fight

Stranger

That’s all I see

When I look into your eyes

A soulmate who wasn’t meant to be

Stranger

Who knows all my secrets

Can pull me apart and break my heart

A soulmate who wasn’t meant to be

I never should have kissed

Kissed your hand

I’m under your control

I will never understand

I never should have said

I love you

Never said it back

So why do I still care for you?

Stranger

That’s all I see

When I look into your eyes

A soulmate who wasn’t meant to be

Stranger

Who knows all my secrets

Can pull me apart and break my heart

A soulmate who wasn’t meant to be

Wish I could go back to the day we met and leave you be

Sit and look pretty

Never should have called

Never should have held

Never should have kissed

Never should have said…

Stranger

That’s all I see

When I look into your eyes

A soulmate who wasn’t meant to be

Stranger

Who knows all my secrets

Can pull me apart and break my heart

A soulmate who wasn’t meant to be

Harper rolled over and pulled her phone off the nightstand to check the time. She had been awake for a while but could tell by the faint light coming in through her window, that it was getting close to the time she needed to get up.

She sighed heavily as she realized her phone confirmed her assumption. Harper blinked a few times to ensure she was fully awake, already annoyed with the day. She rolled over onto her other side and gently nudged her sleeping companion.

“Sam…Sam, wake up. It’s time for you to go. I have to get ready for work.”

The man next to her was clearly in no hurry to get out of bed. He faced Harper with his eyes still closed, reaching out for her.

“Baby, we don’t need to be in a rush…” Clearly, he thought he was smooth. And clearly, he didn’t know who he was dealing with.

“I will not ask you again to get out of my bed.” Harper declared. “I told you last night this was a one-time thing.”

She slithered out of the bed, keeping one sheet wrapped around her naked body. Making her way to her bathroom, she called out to him, “I expect you to be gone by the time my shower is done. You can see yourself out. Don’t leave anything behind because I’m not calling you back.”

The bathroom door forcefully closed behind her and Harper turned on the water. Pushing herself over the sink, looking more closely at her reflection, she studied herself, looking into her own eyes.

She never meant to become the kind of person who had a string of one-night stands. It wasn’t a part of her life she was especially proud of, but it served its purpose. She was too old to be asking herself who she was, or to be trying to find her identity. Those years were safely behind her. She owed it to herself to make up her own mind. She earned the freedom to stand by her own decisions without regret. The past was the past.

Part of her was relieved that she no longer had to share this portion of her life with the hospital. For far too long everyone from fellow doctors and administrators to volunteers and janitors, knew all about her every move. She was used to living in a fishbowl, but she was definitely over it. It wasn’t enough that she was proving herself to be a well-known and reputable medical professional, or that she was running one of the state’s largest and most prominent hospitals. Everyone needed to know about her personal life. She lost count of how many times people told her they couldn’t trust her if they didn’t know what she was “really like outside of this place.”

Ask anyone at Edenbrook about Harper Emery and you get a wide range of responses. Most people know her as a fine administrator and capable surgeon. Others are notoriously opposed to the way she performed as Chief and are thankful she’s been replaced by Naveen. Across the country she’s known for her expertise in surgery and her swift, decisive actions that have saved countless lives. A majority of medical staff see her as fair but firm, with high expectations and standards, not only for herself but everyone she works with.

Of all the things people have said about her, and the gossip she’s heard behind her back for years, there’s always one statement that sticks in her mind the most and haunts her every day. She can see it in their eyes when they find out; especially the interns when they’re finally told.

She walks down the halls and all goes silent except for the clacking of her heels on the cold stone floor. A small smirk appears on her face as people try to busy themselves with work before she asks them what they’re doing.

Despite all her achievements and the work she is proud of accomplishing, she’s come to terms with the fact that she’ll be remembered for one thing as she brushes past a group and someone inevitably whispers:

There goes Dr. Harper Emery. Former Chief of Medicine and former girlfriend of Dr. Ethan Ramsey. That’s all you really need to know.

Allie sat in the cafeteria staring dejectedly into her bowl of soup, absentmindedly stirring it every few seconds. Her head was propped up on her hand with her elbow on the table. Her long red hair was in a pile on top of her head. Her eyes tired. Her feet aching. Her mind elsewhere.

Lately she had been thinking about Ethan. That was nothing new. She hated how their situation was at present. He clearly wanted to be with her, practically reached out to her on numerous occasions, but something was stopping him. She heard time and time again that it was because of his care for her. That he wanted her to be the best doctor possible and he couldn’t do that and provide for her professionally if they were more than just colleagues. She rolled her eyes with disdain remembering how and when he said that word.

Professional.

It made her retch for a moment. She had already been working for about eight-hours of her twelve-hour shift and she wondered how she’d make it the next four. Allie turned her attention out the widow that overlooked a peaceful courtyard where patients or staff could go for a moment of quiet during the day.

She knew that her outlook on her relationship with Ethan had changed drastically over the past few weeks. At first, she thought she’d be able to handle it. Ethan’s decision made sense and she’d stop at nothing to make sure she could be the best doctor possible, but lately she’d been struggling. And right outside that window, sitting on a bench next to a patient in the courtyard, was the very reason why.

Dr. Harper Emery.

Allie didn’t know much about her past relationship with Ethan, only that she had one. And clearly it wasn’t an issue for him to be with her, so why was it such a big deal if she and Ethan wanted to be together instead?

In her head, Allie knew the difference. A subordinate and a supervisor is much different than two colleagues on the same level of the org chart, but her heart…her fickle-overly-emotional-prideful-too-hurt-to-admit-it heart, chanted to her over and over again:

You’re not good enough. You’ll never be her. There’s a real reason he didn’t want you. Do you honestly think you could measure up to that? She’s perfect. What would he ever see in someone like you?

It made it worse that Harper was the consummate professional around Allie. She was polite and welcoming, not warm, but still somehow hospitable. There had been a few times that she pushed back on Allie and challenged her, but nothing over the line.

Of course, it’s easy for her to do that.

The voice in her head reminded her.

She knows she’s got you beat in every category. You’ll never be competition to her.

Allie had even been watching Harper more intently when she worked with Ethan. There were so many little things that she had not noticed before. A few days ago, as Allie arrived for her shift, she noticed Harper helping him with his tie outside the cafeteria. A soft smile formed at the corners of her mouth as she straitened it for him and looked him in the eye.

“What would I do without you?” Ethan asked, his tone a bit too playful for Allie’s taste.

“Oh, you’d find a way to manage.” Harper responded. “After all, you’re Doctor Ethan Ramsey. You don’t let anyone around here forget it.”

Her composure as polite and calm as ever, Harper turned quickly on her heel and walked away. Allie swore Ethan’s eyes followed her all the way down the hall.

Allie knew that pining away for Ethan and obsessing over his every interaction with Dr. Emery would not serve her well. She needed to focus. But it was becoming more and more difficult. She was starting to lose confidence in herself and her abilities, which made her need and desire for Ethan all the more great.

He was the one who told her she could do anything. He was the mentor that taught her everything she knew about being a doctor. He was the one she needed. The one she was meant to be with forever.

All she had to do was convince him she was worth it.

Inevitably, the seed of doubt sprouted again in that arrogant-unstable-frustratingly-emotional heart of hers.

Who am I kidding? If Ethan couldn’t even make it work with someone as amazingly flawless as Harper Emery, how the hell do I stand a chance?

There they were. The two most prominent women in his life, chatting together in the hallway, right in front of his office.

Ethan told himself this couldn’t be good. Each woman on their own was difficult enough but seeing the two of them together made his pulse quicken. He felt his throat start to itch and he loosened his tie a bit, feeling a slight sting of anxiety in his stomach as he approached them.

“Dr. Emery.” He nodded. “Dr. Valentine.”

“To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit? Please, come in.”

“I told you.” Harper crossed her arms in front of her chest and raised one eyebrow in triumph, nodding towards Allie.

“Told her what?” Ethan asked, confused.

“We aren’t here to see you.” Allie explained. “We are discussing tomorrow’s surgery for Ms. Hogan. And as we were talk-“

Harper cut Allie off mid-sentence.

“I told Dr. Valentine that we should probably move this conversation elsewhere or finish before you returned, otherwise you’d think our presence at your door had something to do with you.”

“Sorry to inform you that it doesn’t…” Allie looked amused.

“I see.” Ethan responded shortly, his brow wrinkled, slightly irritated.

“You walked right into it, Ramsey.” Harper teased.

“Well played. I bid you all a good afternoon then. Seeing as how I’m not needed, even though you two purposefully stopped right outside my office. Let’s carry on with our work now instead of playing games, shall we?”

Ethan walked into his office and closed the door behind him, letting out a long sigh. The sight of those two, hearing their voices, the knowing way they mocked him, it was almost too much for him to handle. Harper was always quick to prove him wrong and reveled in any opportunity to do so.

He cursed himself for pursuing anything of substance with either one of them. He hated having regrets, but to see how things has ended up for all of them, he couldn’t help it. Nothing felt natural anymore – at least not for him. Everything was thought through and carried out with the utmost precision. His actions felt robotic as he made doubly sure not to make either of those women think he still had feelings for them.

Ethan was most careful to watch himself around Allie, as his time with her was the more recent and the most potent. It was challenging, though. He was drawn to her by a indescribable force. It took everything within him to pull himself away from her. In meetings, at the front desk, in the elevator, talking with patients, she always said or did something that made him weak in the knees.

It was killing him not to be able to see her after work, to spend time with her outside the office, to hear about her life beyond the walls of the hospital but he knew it was the right thing for her. If he had any desire to protect her or keep her safe and not hurt her any more than he already had, this is the way it needed to be.

Getting mixed up with a guy like him was bad news, just look at what it did to Harper.

Harper had always been the model of decorum; prim and proper, respected by all – but Ethan wasn’t stupid. He knew that now a part of her sterling reputation had been tarnished because of him. He heard the low voices whispering behind her back as she passed by. He was all to familiar now with the light in the interns’ eyes, how they lit up with intrigue when they found out that he and Harper had been…

What had they been? It was never anything real, which he blamed himself for. They had each other when they needed each other and that was about it.

Nothing substantial. Nothing with roots. Nothing that would last.

Nothing like…

His pager went off, rousing him from his diatribe of thoughts. Silently he opened the door and went to follow the page, not even noticing that Harper and Allie were still there, chatting away.

It was the end of another unremarkable day at Edenbrook. Harper was headed with her bag in hand towards the elevator doors, but they were closing too quickly.

At the last second, she made the decision to head towards the stairs, when a familiar voice called out:

“Harper. Come on, plenty of room in here.”

That voice would stop her in her tracks anywhere.

“Thank you, Ethan.” She smiled tightly as she entered the elevator with him. He held the doors open until she was settled and then pressed the button to close them.

Such a typical Ethan-move. Harper thought to herself.

Trying to win me over with his charm and chivalry. Don’t do it Harper, don’t fall for it. Not again. He’s not worth it.

Ethan focused his eyes straight ahead trying not to engage.

Leave her alone. You have to let her go.

Allie was ready to leave. The remaining portion of her shift had not passed as quickly as she had hoped. Nervous, yawning, grumpy and ready to soak her throbbing feet, she impatiently waited for the elevator to reach her floor. She could not wait to once again be reunited with her beloved bed.

The monotone bell rang out signaling the elevator’s arrival. She stepped in and surveyed the group of people also in the elevator. Parker from imaging. The really nice man in charge of housekeeping – she could never remember his name… – and Ethan.

Of course there was Ethan.

And Harper.

Lovely.

The nameless housekeeping man was first to exit. This ride was now officially long and uncomfortable. She wondered if Ethan and Harper felt the same.

A few floors later, Parker from imaging said a courteous goodnight and left the elevator.

Only four more floors to go.

All that remained was the three of them, each one with their eyes silently fixed on the numbers above the elevator doors. They illuminated, one by one, giving them hope that this uneasy metal box would deliver them from this situation soon.

Four…

The reputable doctor marred by transgressions with a colleague unable to forgive herself for wanting true love.

Three…

The world-renown diagnostician, somehow able to have so much and yet so little at the same time, feeling remorse for hurting two perfectly fine young women beyond repair.

Two…

An innocent second-year resident, thrown into a world she wasn’t ready for, caught up in confusion about her own feelings and comparing herself to someone she secretly admired and hoped to become.

One…

All three tired of being lonely, disappointed in themselves, and wanting nothing more than true, life-long companionship.

All three connected not by choice but by fate yet going home, once again, all alone.

#blazerina babbles #ethan ramsey #harper emery #allie valentine #open heart

90 notes · View notes

mego42 · 4 years ago

Text

1x10 discussion questions

one season down, two to go!!! this has been so much fun y’all. i've watched s1 all by my onesies a totally normal amount of times but watching with all of you is it’s own kind of delight. your jokes and your takes are a+++. truly enhance the experience. and i know i say it every week but a sincere thank you to @pynkhues for organizing and all the work you put into it.

ANYWAY enough of the gross emo stuff.

1. What was your favourite scene of the episode? Tell us why!

this is a question with an objectively correct answer and it’s when dean gets hit by a car. the last scene is p good too i guess.

2. Was there any scene that missed the mark for you? And if so, how?

the line dancing scene chills me to my core but that says more about my feelings about line dancing than the scene itself. it’s not so much that it misses the mark as much as i consider it a personal attack on part with repeatedly saying sauce arms and making me remember the bandaid.

3. Let’s start from the top! That scene with Rio and Turner! This is our first ever Rio POV scene, and a lot of crucial information is delivered in it – from what Rio’s like as a crime boss to the situation with Eddie. What do you make of this scene? And do you think Rio ever saw Turner as a real threat?

rio saw turner as a whole ass snack and he was right

4. It’s Beth and Dean’s twentieth anniversary! Beth warms to him again over the course of this episode before the cancer lie is revealed. What do you think the trajectory of Beth and Dean’s relationship would’ve looked like if the lie hadn’t been revealed?

eventually beth would’ve taken out the trash. i don’t think there’s a version of the two of them that would work long term as long as beth is coming more and more into herself through crime and dean is, you know, dean. would’ve totally derailed the brio pacing though so someone get that doctor a medal.

5. Annnnd on a related note, do you think the cancer lie is lost to us forever, or that the show might still throw it back on the table at some point?

i have deep seated tv-related trust issues so i’ve convinced myself that no we won’t so i can’t be any more disappointed than i already am

6. Ben has his first few days at St. Anne’s, and it goes well, despite Annie’s reservations. Do you think Greg was right to change Ben’s schooling? Do you think Annie was right in having her reservations? Or is it some combination of both?

as a product of a catholic school elementary environment i feel extremely qualified to say that catholic school kids will fuck you up and annie was absolutely justified in her reservations. that said, clearly the public school kids were also fucking ben up so greg was in the right too. the moral of the story is kids are assholes.

7. What do you think the show might be saying with the fact that Annie’s son finds safety at a school called St. Anne’s?

you know i never connected those dots before. it’s a little on the nose but it makes me go awwwww so i’ll allow it.

8. What do you think of the Fine & Frugal job overall? Do you think it was a good idea to set Rio up in the way that they did? Do you think it was a good way to get the money for Sara’s transplant?

the (second!! second!!!!) fine & frugal job was, to put it mildly, extremely stupid. just the fact that they robbed it for the second time is enough but oh my GOD the rio portion of the plan tips it over the edge. it’s too many levels of stupid i can’t list them all. it’s the girls at their most short sighted and it makes me want to bang my head against the nearest flat surface.

THAT SAID one thing that i’ve always really loved about the show is the girls are like, truly awful at crime in many ways and fairly consistently reap the consequences of that. i love that they’re sort of bumbling their way to success with their individual talents and determination but not being like, smooth criminals or whatever. i’ve watched the version of this show where that happens (*stares in weeds*) and it’s infuriating.

9. What do you think of the scene with Tyler at the end and how he let the girls off the hook in exchange for getting to be the hero? What do you think this tells us about the overall themes of the show?

i love the hell out of tyler that pure hearted himbo. i know there are deeper thoughts here around male entitlement and how it’s seen through characters like boomer and dean and turner and rio but it’s late and my brain is there. i do like how it’s mmmmmm underscored? subverted? by tyler basically asking annie to make it seem like he’s someone to be taken seriously. it reminds me of a little kid asking for help playing dress up or make believe. idk idk idk pretend i said something smart.

10. Mary Pat discovers Boomer’s been spying on her! It leads to one of my favourite fights of the entire series between Mary Pat and Boomer! What do you think that fight told us about Mary Pat and Boomer’s relationship so far, and who each of them are as people?

mary-pat was deeply wronged and in a different ‘verse is bffs with the girls. JUSTICE FOR MARY-PAT

11. On a related note, what did you think of Mary Pat going to Beth with the news?

i love it, for as much as mary-pat tries to walk tall and carry a big stick or whatever, as soon as stuff starts falling apart her first instinct is to run to her crime mom for help. THEY SHOULD BE FRIENDS DAMMIT.

12. Beth throws down a pretty big bluff with Annie and Ruby about going to Canada to take over Rio’s business. Do you think she actually intended to go through with it? Or do you think she was just joking? Or was it something in between?

you know how sometimes people tell jokes that are so funny hahahaha but also omg you guys what if we really did it? it’s one of those.

13. In 100 words or less, please describe your emotional journey in watching Stan find out what Ruby had done for the money to save Sara.

N O

14. Annie and Greg have a pivotal moment together as co-parents at the end of this episode. Do you think this is a satisfying culmination to their arc across this season? And do you see any sort of future for them as a couple overall?

probs not any time soon bc i think zach gilford got another job but i hope so bc i love them lEaVE mE aLoNE

15. That! Final! Scene! Between! Beth! Rio! And! Dean! So much emotion! Give us all your thoughts, comments, feelings! And pretend you were yet to see s2 - what would you predict the outcome would be?

i love literally (like, actually literally) every single thing about this scene. truly god tier and we haven’t even gotten to the dean gets shot/face-touching/E L I Z A B E T H stuff. i’m trying to remember what i thought when i first watched this but honestly i think i was just mashing the next episode button over and over like some kind of psychotic chimpanzee on meth bc netflix wasn’t loading fast enough.

#gg rewatch #gg 1x10

11 notes · View notes

breanime · 5 years ago

Text

Helpless (Part Two)

Thank you all for the support and interest you’ve already shown in this series! I’m so glad to have such sweet and supportive friends on this site. I hope you like Part Two, and as always, please feel free to tell me how you liked this one, on anon or not! :)

Overall warning for this series: mentions/depictions of violence, some future parts may get ~steamy~

*gif not mine*

You sat, clothes crinkled with your brother’s dried blood, handcuffed to a table at the police station. You’d told them everything: dates, names, places—only leaving out Khalil. He was too young, too fresh. This wasn’t his battle; you didn’t want him to get into any trouble. You had spent the night getting interviewed, first by two cops, then by the two cops and a lawyer, then by the sheriff, two cops, and the Chief of Police. You had signed several papers, committing to your statement. You didn’t care what happened to you; you just wanted Joe to pay.

“Uncuff her,” a woman wearing a suit came in with a manila folder under her arm, “She’s not under arrest.”

The Chief of Police puffed his chest out. He looked like a bird trying to intimidate a much more dangerous predator. “Says who?”

“The Department of Homeland Security,” she answered briskly, taking her badge out and flashing it to them, “Special Agent Dinah Madani. I need the room, please.”

The cops grumbled, but did as she asked, filing out of the room quickly. The agent sat across from you, opening the folder as you stared.

“I’m not under arrest?” You asked.

She shook her head. “Not at the moment, and you won’t ever be, if you agree to be my witness. You give me any and everything I need to get Joseph Yakavetta behind bars, and I’ll grant you full immunity.”

You nodded. You were already committed to giving the cops full honesty, but the addition of immunity certainly appealed to you. Though you were surprised to see the Feds were interested in Big Joe, too. “Deal.”

Things moved quickly after that; Agent Madani took your statement and then had you transferred to a hotel. You took a shower, watching Ronnie’s blood circle the drain, feeling numb and raw all at once.

The Feds had provided you with a small wardrobe, so you got dressed and sat at the edge of the bed, looking through some of the paperwork Madani had given you. The terms were clear: you would only get full immunity if Big Joe was taken down, otherwise, you would be tried for the multiple robbery charges that were tied to your name. You’d asked Madani how she was planning on keeping you safe, and she’d said something about a kind of witness protection. The way she described it (or under described it, to be more accurate), made it seem like you didn’t apply for actual witness protection, but she said something about getting you a security detail. Until then, you had strict instructions not to leave your room unless accompanied by Madani or one of the other Feds who ran with her.

Which is how you ended up in your hotel room for two weeks straight, only leaving to go to the police station and back. You felt like an animal in a cage, spending hours at a time pacing your room, building in breaks to stare out of the window every few minutes, which was exactly what you were doing when your phone—a black flip phone provided by Homeland Security—rang.

“Agent Madani,” you drawled.

“I’m sending Agent Stein over with your security detail. They’re going to go over a few things with you and then move you to a secondary location,” she said, business as usual, “Pack your things and be ready.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” you said before she could hang up, “Does this mean our BFF sleepovers are over? How will I cope?”

You could practically hear her roll her eyes on the other line. “Get ready, Y/N, they’ll be there in less than 15 minutes.”

You pocketed your phone and got to it, throwing your clothes and charger and toiletries in the duffel bag Madani had given you. The night Ronnie died, you’d cut off a piece of the shirt you were wearing before giving the rest of your clothes to the Feds, and you had it at the bottom of your bag. You looked at it whenever you felt unsure, whenever you were feeling scared or caged in, and looking at it strengthened your resolve. Joe killed Ronnie and Jamal, and you couldn’t let him get away with that.

There was a knock on your door; three hard knocks and two soft ones, the knock the Feds used. Still, you looked through the peephole and didn’t unlock it until you saw Agent Stein’s face.

“Madani said I’m finally getting out of this hellhole,” you said, opening the door and stepping behind it like they’d trained you to—just in case an agent had been compromised or been followed or something—and let Stein lead the security in. You shut the door and turned to address Stein once more, but you froze in your tracks.

Billy Russo was standing in your hotel room.

Two Days Earlier

Billy adjusted his tie as he stood in front of the mirror, giving himself a final once-over. He looked good, comfortable in his three-piece suit with his designer shoes and $300 haircut. He got into his car, the Rolls Royce Wraith, and noted every single look of envy he got on the ride over. He fucking loved that look, ate it up like candy. Curtis had called him a man “of wealth and taste”, and he’d liked that. No one who was looking at him now would know he was an unwanted orphan, or that he got his start from dirty money made overseas. Sometimes, in times like these when he was feeling untouchable, even he was able to forget his beginnings for a moment, but just a moment.

He parked his car and went in, letting himself operate on autopilot as he greeted the secretary and the head nurse. He let himself into his mother’s room, closing the door behind him.

She was unconscious, strapped to the bed by her wrists and ankles, and Billy felt that same contradicting wave of anger and smugness and disgust and shame go through him as he looked at her. He took his jacket off and draped it over a chair before seating himself at the edge of the bed. He took out the syringe, prepping it before plunging it into her IV.

His mother blinked herself awake, muttering as she came to. Her eyes widened when they landed on him, and she shuffled on the bed, making little distressed noises at the sight of her only son.

“Hey Mom,” he said, voice low. He didn’t want to startle her even more than she already was. “The nurses say you’re doing good, had a little set back a few weeks ago, got a little spirited, they tell me,” he put his hand on her ankle, and felt her try to recoil. He tightened his hold on her. “I’ve been good, too. Been working a lot,” he looked at the wall as he spoke, “Though I have…” He glanced down at his mother again. If he couldn’t tell her, who else could he tell? “… I’ve been having these dreams lately, memories really, of this girl I knew.” He looked back at his mom, her dark eyes watery and unfocused as a result of the cocktail of meds she was on, a strange reflection of his own eyes. “She, uh, she was the only woman I’ve ever just…wanted,” he said, thinking of your smile and the mischievous twinkle you’d get in your eye when you looked at him, “I mean, she was gorgeous and confident and real, and I just… I liked being around her, you know?” He tilted his head. “Have you ever felt like that?” He asked, knowing she wouldn’t—couldn’t—answer. “Was it like that with you and my father?” He laughed humorlessly. “Probably not, huh?” He shook his head. “Well, I never felt like that until I met her. I thought, at first, that it was just physical, my attraction to her but then…” Billy gave a shrug; it was hard to put his thoughts into words—especially the thoughts about you, things he’d never said outloud before, but he felt like he had to try, had to get them out. “I don’t know, she just… She made me feel connected to something, you know? Connected to her. It’s not like we were dating or anything, but we spent time together… All that time we were hooking up, she never even told me her last name.” He chuckled; he had liked that about you, the mystery, the way you held some things about you so close to your chest. He remembered being intrigued by you, wanting to figure you out—not for any monetary goal or strategic advantage or anything like that, just because you fascinated him. “I was kind of getting used to her,” he confessed, “I liked being around her, and liked spending time with her, but… You remember the guy I told you about? Rawlins?” He looked down at his mom, who just frowned back at him. “He came around again,” his hand twitched on his mother’s ankle, “Back then, a year ago, I still owed him a debt—I’m all paid up now,” he assured her, “Paid up and then some, but then… I had to step away, you know? From her, I mean. Thought it’d be easier if I just went off the grid for a while, and when I got back…” He looked over at the wall again, feeling that same anxiety from that day bubble up inside of him, the dark cloud that had come over him as he stared at your empty apartment. “…She was long gone.” He stood up, needing to move. “I don’t blame her,” he said, rolling his shoulders, “It’s not like we were… It doesn’t matter. It’s just weird, isn’t it, that I’ve been dreaming about her lately?” He looked back at his mother, hands in his pocket. “I usually don’t… dwell on things like this.” He felt his phone vibrate, and he took it out. “It’s work,” he informed his mom, taking the call.

“Russo,” he answered, voice commanding and sure.

“I’m sorry to call you, Mr. Russo, I know this is your personal time,” his assistant began.

“It’s fine,” he interrupted, “What is it?”

“There’s a Dinah Madani from Homeland Security on the line; she says she has a job for you. She says it’s urgent.”

Billy cocked an eyebrow. It must be urgent if Dinah was calling him. “I’m on my way,” he said, hanging up without another word.

He turned back to his mother; she had tears in her eyes. “Gotta go,” he picked his jacket up and shrugged it back on, “You know, I… We could have been a family. I would have taken care of you, given you anything…” He stopped himself. He gave this same speech every time he came here. “…See you next time, Mom.”

He called Dinah back when he got to his office, not sure if this was really a work call or something more…personal.

“I need a favor,” she said in lieu of an actual greeting, “I’ve got a case that hinges on this eyewitness that needs to be protected. I need to get her to D.C quickly, safely, and as quietly as possible. Can you do it?”

Billy sat back at his desk. So this was a professional call. Good. “I’m gonna need more than that, Agent Madani,” he said back, “Who’s she testifying against? How much danger is she in?”

“His name is Joseph ‘Big Joe’ Yakavetta,” Madani answered, “He started out as a small-time gangster out of New York and grew up to be a national threat. He had a group of vagabonds helping him rob armored trucks and banks and other secure vehicles, and on his last heist, he managed to walk off with several high-security documents as well as ATM access codes and other intel.”

“How does that concern Homeland?”

He heard Madani sigh on the other line. She should have known that he wouldn’t take that vague crap—if he was even going to consider this job, he needed details. “I can’t get into it over the phone,” she said, voice low, “But I’m sending you a file now…”

Billy clicked his email and waited.

“…Long story short, Yakavetta has some valuable information in his possession right now that we need to recover, and he’s wanted for homicide as well.” There was a pause, and Billy knew she was trying to decide how honest to be with him. Apparently, she opted for the truth. “He shot and killed an undercover informant who was working with us,” she confessed, “I put him in there, and he died for it. I need it make it right.”

Billy was getting bored, but the file popped up. He opened it, scrolling through Yakavetta’s rap sheet. He was ex-military, had contacts overseas, and had done a lot of heist jobs all over the U.S. “And why can’t Homeland handle this?” Billy asked, lazily moving to the next document Madani sent.

“My bosses aren’t convinced this is a lucrative case. We’ve been after Yakavetta for years and haven’t been able to make anything stick. It was by the skin of my teeth, but I was able to get enough funding to hire a personal security detail for her.”

Billy made an assenting noise, looking through the file on the three men Yakavetta killed; the truck driver from his latest job, and two of his men—one being the informant. “How many men would you need?” He asked, still unimpressed by this case.

“I’d like it to just be you,” she said back, “You can use as many men as you’d need, of course, but you’d be taking the lead on this.”

Billy stopped, cursor floating over the “next” arrow at the bottom of the page. “You want me on this? Me personally?” He clarified.

“You’re the only one I can trust to do this and do it right,” Madani said, and he pictured her grimacing as she spoke the words, “You’re the best man for the job.”

That was true, Billy knew, but this was beneath him—plus it was a Federal case, so there was no telling just how long it would take. And he’d have to leave New York, travel with some sniveling witness and play babysitter. The money would be good, he knew, government contracts always paid well, and he knew Madani was desperate enough to agree to any number he threw out—but overall, it wouldn’t be worth it. “I can put my best man on it,” he said as he clicked “next”, “but I won’t be able—”

He stopped. Your face was on his computer screen, and Billy nearly dropped his phone. You were the witness. His eyes scanned the page, taking in as much information as he could as Madani talked on the other end of the phone, trying to convince him to take the job.

“…money isn’t an object, Russo, just name the number and I’ll match it. Listen—I can get you out here by tomorrow, I need you on this—”

“—I’ll do it,” he said, eyes stuck on your photo. “I’m in.”

Billy moved quickly after that, making arrangements for Anvil in his absence, packing, and hopping on a plane that very night. He spent the majority of the flight on his laptop, reading and re-reading your file, taking it all in greedily. He knew your last name now. He learned more about you in the last three hours than he had seeing you for a month. But it didn’t satisfy him like he thought it would. What was in your file were just words, black and white, and while the information did fill in some holes for him, he still had questions. Questions only you could answer. And anyway, reading all of this stuff from the Feds wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted to hear it from you, though he wasn’t entirely sure why, couldn’t quite place why it mattered and why his curiosity when it came to you was so damn persistent. He hoped that seeing you again would cure him of it, but deep down…

…He knew it wouldn’t.

Present Day

“Madani said I’m finally getting out of this hellhole,” you said, and Billy had to remind himself to stay professional when he heard your voice. It had been so long, but his body ached—literally ached—at just the sound of it.

He followed Agent Sam Stein (a man who wasn’t really Billy’s biggest fan) into the room. His instincts took over for a few seconds, and his eyes darted around the room—checking for exits and vulnerable spots in the hotel—before they landed on you.

Your eyes were wide, but Billy kept his reaction in check. You looked good, wearing a simple white T-shirt, black hoodie, and jeans. He preferred you in nothing, in all honesty, but he pushed those thoughts—and images—down. He was here on a job, after all.

“Y/N, this is Billy Russo, head of Anvil Security,” Stein said, not noticing the tension in the room, or at the very least, ignoring it, “Mr. Russo will be your bodyguard for the foreseeable future.”

You didn’t say anything, just stared up at Billy, turning to watch him as he walked past you and deeper into the room. He’d be lying if he said he’d never thought of this moment, never imagined seeing you again. He never imagined it like this, though. He turned back to you, all business. “We’re going to a safe house,” he told you, “and from there, we’ll make a long-term plan for your safety. Are you ready to leave?”

You nodded wordlessly.

Billy went over to the bed to grab your bag, but stopped when he got to the edge of it. The sheets were rumpled, and the covers were haphazardly thrown on the bed. His mind flashed back to a time when his sheets looked like that after spending hours intertwined with you, still smelling like you days after.

“Billy,” you had gasped out, back arched as your orgasm rocked you, “Billy!”

He grunted on top of you, pushing deeper into you and closing his eyes as you pulsated around him. You felt so good, so incredibly good. Billy dropped his head, burying his face in your neck as he came with you, calling your name just as you were calling his.

Still inside you, still wrapped up in you, he opened his eyes and stared down at you. Your eyes were closed, mouth open as you panted, sweat making your skin glow, and your hair was a mess on his pillows. He had never seen anything more beautiful, and he felt a sudden wave of possessiveness take over. No other man deserved you, no other man should be able to see you, feel you, the way he did. This was where you belonged; beneath him, cocooned in his arms, sheets damp under your body and blanket thrown over the mattress, forgotten and unneeded as you warmed each other.

You opened your eyes, smiling up at Billy, and he felt himself smiling back, felt his heart melt at the sight of you—all his in that one moment.

Billy wasn’t sure what this was, this thing between the two of you, and a part of him was urging him to face reality—this could never work, he could never tell you the truth about himself, could never truly let you in, but… In that moment…damn did he want to.

“Hey,” you said, poking his nose with your finger, “Stop thinking, Russo, and kiss me.”

He did. And later, in the morning, when he woke up with you in his arms and his comforter on the floor, sheets a mess, he kissed you again.

He could kiss you forever.

Billy turned back to you, slinging the duffel bag over his shoulder. The memory came out of nowhere, just as vivid and real as it had been then, and he licked his lips, chasing the memory of your sweet, sweet kiss. You were still staring at him, pretty eyes wide and lips parted, ready, he thought, to be kissed. The logical side of him told him to focus on the mission, to just do the job, but the other part of him wanted nothing more than to grab you and tell you everything would be okay. To push you onto the bed and ruin the sheets just a bit more.

…This might be harder than he thought it’d be.

*******************************************************************************************

Okay, who’s POV should the next chapter be in? Billy’s or the Reader’s? And what did you think of this part? Did you like it? Do you know who the informant was? Do we trust Homeland? Do we trust Billy?! Are we even trustworthy?! *dun dun!*

Helpless Taglist (let me know if you’d like to be added or removed): @accioromancff @funerals-with-cake @700teacups @thesumofmychoices @wangmangagavroche @aikeia @im-a-mess-ness @fangirlharbor

Taglist: @lexxierave @loveintheroyalfamily@suchatinyinfinity@fanfictionrecommendations-com @maxslime-blog @elanor-of-imladris@songforhema @lucielandss @fandomlifeandeverythingelse @themadhatter92@realduckvader @the-blind-assassin-12 @christinawxxx @anabella-baby @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @luminex3 @littlemermaidprobz@ashkuuuu @luckysstrikes @carlaangel86 @floralpeaceofmind @dylanobrusso @teacuplotus @iaintnofurry @thesumofmychoices @ymariejp @its-my-little-dumpster-fire @mrsjaxtellerfan @whovianayesha @holamor @drinix @rhabakoli @stories-you-wont-hear @king4thesirens @starkrobb @marauderskeeper @charlylama @thesandbeneathmytoes @something-tofightfor @banditthewriter @binbons-is-theloml @thebabblingbookworm @khuangpu13

#billy russo x reader #billy russo imagine #helpless fic

448 notes · View notes