#and my ink compared to him is huge oops

[soaked-ghost]

any excuse to draw ink again is a good excuse!

[abyssalpriest]

Conversations with Leviathan #7, Black Ink 2/7/23

A discussion on the symbol of Black Ink, potentiality.

I was wondering what things I should compare Leviathan to for the 30 day challenge question "Describe your God as something that occurs in nature", hoping I could draw up a list of multiple things and work then from that. He said: Black ink, singularly and definitively. I wasn't expecting it, I associate that with my ex-partner who would even go so far as to use that as a tag for... Something? Actually, isn't that weird. I don't think he ever explained what "Black Ink" was other than saying it was his blood and something huge and encompassing. It was some sort of biological function (or form) or physiological part of his that continued to arise in his symbolism. Largely I knew what I thought it was: Some sort of metaphor for his biology that involved heavy metaphors about reality, something to do with the Void, but that's really it.

Does black ink even occur in nature? No, but arguably that's the point, Leviathan and his brothers always seem to be found in things that are made whether it's electronics, tools, trains and planes, kingship, reading and writing... Nature is nature even when reworked and the idea of them being nature as consciously reworked and harnessed - yet still nature, still wild under the surface - fits very well. 

Black Ink, however, is a symbol that means a lot to me in both the sense of importance and extensive symbolism. It's type of blood, blood itself being a complex metaphor underneath a complex metaphor for the fabric and life of reality, everything in existence in its various forms, black ink being one form; it's the spaces in-between and Polarised dances between paper and writing... I don't know though. There's too much in my head.

---

"Black Ink: Clockwork. Numerical values. Obsidian Mirrors. Ferrofluid.

The beginning of the Universe started with a series of boxes, characters, easily stackable and therefore easy to extrapolate into dimensional stability -"

Lying in bed I can suddenly vividly see him next to me in a non-linear way I've never experienced before - I can both see him when I'm looking and when I'm not looking at him - leaning half-propped-up on his elbow facing me. I can feel the coldness of his energy physically.

"- Repetition of things that can be repeated. More so the ticking of the clock rather than that minute bit in-between."

His energy is physically touching my skin - "Oh, sorry," he says in surprise and it retracts, but it's radiating from him in strange outward spirals of warm and cold. I feel like I'm swirling bathwater coming from hot and cold taps.

Did you want to come in? I barely get to ask before he takes over.

"This is complicated, eons of processing and notes that I could show you except no, I couldn't. This entire universe - your little physical plane - is written by the three of us in a tongue that is always speaking in black ink. Black, an enveloping of every colour, every beam of light condensed, squished, compressed, forced into linearity and logical repetitions between moment to moment. Black is physics, metaphysics, metronome beats in Creation in the way that it is the counting 1 - 2 - 3 - etc notes of a finite recorded song. Finite beats to be counted, compressed.

Your body's numb, oops. Have it back."

Well then. What are you sifting through?

"I couldn't even tell you. It's complete condensations of 3D knowledge into flattened momentary planes."

He shows me one of the flat pieces of paper he's going through mentally, and he's right, I thought it was printer paper but it's densely vibrating cubes flattened as thin as rice noodles, so not too thin. Vibrating like suns....

"Did I tell you about that? How solar bodies intensely vibrate so close to transcending the planes they're on hence that's why they're used as gates - skip this song playing. Thank you. Condense and condense and condense, first you obtain something intensely bright so that it becomes a screen through which your eyes can perceive things it wishes to extract from the light particle-waves. Then... Boom. Collapses. Black. Like how lampblack is made."

I feel like that's not how lampblack is made...

"Then you're not thinking outside or I suppose inside the box, are you. Dumb. That's a joke. Do you see how the Sun is rising?"

A faint light shines through the cracks in my curtains.

"And you could let it in if you wanted to.

Black Ink is a complex theory in and of itself. Metaphorically. Symbolically. It's the dancing letters on the tip of the scientist's tongue at the verge of understanding, it's a substance that plays with the gateway - and is the gateway - to discovery. Externalised thoughts pass through it, the future awakened soul meets its past self through it. It's Shakti and Shiva's dance specifically in the hands of the writer. It's a promise to God. Isn't that fascinating?"

I have to say -

"So say it -"

Oh. You're vivid as hell again. I can see you almost physically in my periphery... Are you wearing those glasses in bed? I'll take that laugh as a yes. Resting head in hand, a sweet smile... I was expecting so much more of a drab topic when you brought this up.

"Well... Multiple sides to everything, right? I told you what this is. It's a gateway to speaking, it's a mechanism of discovery and unity of world and thought. Personal expression. Usually Shiva dances inside Shakti's womb, but when does it come to a point where he actually extends out of it? When does he externalise? When does consciousness birth itself into something visible? We were working on that clay mobile representing me, well, explicitly I was, arts and crafts, I become physical inside your room through it, through Black Ink. It's the potency... The liquid of the womb condensed and condensed and condensed until its colour, its magnetic pull, inverts. Right? You're following?"

I'm following.

"So what is it that you're speaking?"

Well, I feel like I'm speaking my ex's things. He's the one that taught me what this energy is that I associate with the concept of Black Ink. Dark, eldritch, consuming, mirroring - you're nodding as I speak, reassuring - swallowing...

"Nothing you spit from your mouth can be his. Spit being produced by your cells... Even if your mouth swells at the sight and scent of food it is a product of your body. That's Black Ink. Nothing that comes from your body can be his. You're asserting an opinion of what he looked like in your eyes, which is a regurgitation of the endless wish that God has to be so aware of Themselves that they become Themselves... No. Sorry. You and he were separated by a for more vast ocean than you ever wanted to admit. It's a foul thing to talk about someone like (your ex) in regards to the metaphor of pregnancy but I cannot stress enough about how the union that produces results is never of you and another individual. From you, yes. Of you... No. A cell has to be split off from both of you before it can create a new life - emphasis on before. In life you see, you experience, you stitch it into your body, you gestate, you birth. Which is wrong to say by its own rules because... Experience is all that simultaneously so there is no parts to separate into different experiences. You experience a stimulus and you immediately stitch your consciousness through it.

You never took in anything that he did or said, electron repulsion gives the impression of touch as you say, you simply had an experience that was caused by the way his consciousness affected your communal reality. Even if a literal pregnancy had've come from your relationship... The placenta is a direct manifestation of the true physical union: an attempt, nothing more, but an individual is always an individual. External interaction is not internal emergence. Whatever you think of Black Ink is your own mind, your own memories, your own opinions, your own symbolism. It is not his no matter how heavily impacted by his peripheral and orbital existence around your life. 

He's - or I suppose he was - a gravitational centre passing through a field, you never united with his gravity but instead just felt its effects on you. You touched the impulses in the field... Anyway. What do you see Black Ink as?"

I think I'll have to sit on it. Oh, my phone's autosuggest tells me to write 'Call me'. I'll call you

"I think you should sit on it though. Every symbol belongs to every person. Everything that arises as a connection between a conscious perception or choice and an experience lies inside the one who experiences it. The way reality connects with mind is not the way people think, you in your body are a pilot in front of a screen connected to cameras in the eyes of a robot you're piloting around; you may become absorbed in what is in front of you but you have to remember it's not really touching you, it's touching the robot, consciousness personalises everything and simulates a connection. Like how you may feel emotional pain from a film or video game character's actions but it is just lights. Lights... Lights and colours... Condensible. Edible. Consumable. Redirectable..."

-

Leviathan said: Swapped. Excellent. A free vessel. I will continue alone; you are tired and overwhelmed.

The conclusion is simple. Black Ink is the product of your - and everyone's - womb just before birth. It's the black sky through which the Earth is birthed. It's potentiality. That's it. It's used in scrying for a reason, because... It is scrying. It's the potentiality pushed to the point of nearing literalness.

What you associate with Black Ink: the eldritch, the dark, the... Whatever else, because you do need to comb through all this mess and separate your real opinions from those you were influenced to have... You associate them in the way that one associates a baby with a pregnant mother. Two very different things, actually, when you stop to think about it: A pregnancy necessitates no baby but a pre-baby, a baby is an externalised product of post-pregnancy, post-pregnancy meaning pregnancy is no more. Black Ink is nothing but the means through which things are birthed and therefore is separate from them... Yet intimately categorically connected.

Now... Why are these babies, the eldritch and the dark and the abstract, associated with Black Ink in your mind? The answer, as with everything birthed through Black Ink, will be born into both awareness and reality when you allow it to be birthed.

[ikeservant]

UwU saw that your requests are open! May I ask for a hc with Ikesen MC/reader(whatever you prefer XD): who doesn't know that she needs to wear glasses and always bumps onto things or squints her eyes because of it? With your choice of suitors cuz I don't really mind~ and have a nice day ❤️

Thank u! Also with those that have sent requests that I haven’t answered yet I promise I’ll get to them soon! Work and life in general has been a lil crazy but sure enough I’ll get to your lovely asks and thank u <3. I went with Hideyoshi, Ieyasu, Mitsuhide, and Yukimura bc I’m getting weak thinking about their reactions the most >u<

Hideyoshi: When he heard you were the new chatelain he was suspicious and kept an eye on u cuz he still thought you were an assassin after Nobunga, but holy smokes he was wrong. You bumped into a pillar and apologized to it before feeling it and realizing it wasn’t a person, making him think you were insane. As he walked up to you concerned when you were lifting a vase, you squinted really hard to see who was approaching you. “I know you’re mad about me being rough on you and I’m sorry..” “OH! It’s you, Hideyoshi! I couldn’t tell it was you for a sec!” you interrupted, eyes wide now when recognizing who it was. This made Hideyoshi ask “Are your eyes okay?” “Oh yeah I think so! I just need to focus really hard on things and get used to reading blurry words from far away. I wonder why that is?” “Yeah we’re taking you to get glasses.” He called in the same man who made Mitsunari’s glasses to get you something to see with. Literally when you put on the glasses you tear up in amazement with how clear everything was. Hideyoshi is happy bc A) you can see much better and will less likely bump int things/get yourself hurt B) he thinks you look so damn cute in them that he wants to hug you on the spot.

Ieyasu: Thought you wanted to pick a fight with him the first time you met him when you kept glaring at him. “Is a weak idiot like you trying to challenge me or something?” “Huh? Me? I’m sorry your face wasn’t clear to me yet and I didn’t know who you were.” He could tell that something was off about your eyesight but didn’t know how to approach it since y’all don’t know eachother and he doesn’t want to get into other peoples business (surreee). When tasked to go with him to the herbal shop, you couldn’t read the sign. “Hannddyy shop?”you tried reading the sign with squinting eyes and trying to focus on the blurry characters. “Can you not read or something? It’s ‘Herbal Shop’.” “Ohhh” you say, still trying to read the sign while walking towards it, not paying attention to a rolling cart that almost hits you, making Ieyasu panic and yank you back with a scowl. “Are you Mitsunari’s twin sister or are you that visually impaired?!” “Hmmm now that I think about it, I migghhht need glasses.” Ieyasu would sigh but find and pay the best person to craft you glasses. “I’m only doing this so you don’t cause a huge accident and make my job as healer harder, got it?” he said, a good distance ahead of you as you looked at him with wide eyes instead of squinting. “Whoah you’re so clear! And the words on the signs too! I’m so glad! Thank you!” ^.^ you’d say in amazement, meanwhile Ieyasu is blushing hard bc you looked so cute and happy in your glasses.

Mitsuhide: Thought you were just either really spacey or really slow at putting pieces together. Whenever he would approach you’d squint and then say “Ohh it’s Mitsuhide! I only saw a white hair blur and thought an old man was coming after me. Oops!”, and when he’d give you directions to places you could read the map but looking at the signs from the buildings was a no-go and you’d end up lost or tripping over something. This aroused his suspicions, causing him to go into optometrist mode and test your vision. He made his own lil crafty eye chart with a character/letter big on the top with each line having characters smaller and smaller, placing it at a distance from you and compared what the other warlords could name off to you. He realized that when you asked him if this was an ink blot test that your vision was BAD. He knows a guy who knows a guy and gets you glasses. You are STOKED to see everything clearer. “Now that my little mouse can see me accurately, you might have no choice but fall madly in love with me.” After a little smack on the chest, he would be happy that you can be safer and more likely to thrive in this dangerous world (and the fact he thought your glasses looked cute, especially when they slide off your nose a lil.)Would be the type to steal your glasses and hold them above his head to tease you.

Yukimura: “Oi aren’t you the boar woman that was barreling towards the cliff?” “Oh that? Yeah I couldn’t see diddily squat tbh.” He’d think you were just really reckless at first. You���d squint at him when he would approach and he’d blush with a frown “You want to butt heads, boar woman?” “OH! Yukimura! I thought that was you but didn’t see you!” You were like 20 feet away so this made him very confused. Didn’t realize how bad your eyesight was until you asked Sasuke to try on his glasses for fun to see what his eyesight is. “Whoa! Everything is really clear! I thought you said I wouldn’t be able to see anything? Try these Yukimura!” He only saw blurs and he has like 20/20 vision so he and Sasuke KNEW you needed glasses at this point. Sasuke knew how to make glasses out of different materials found at the market so y’all went on a field trip! After stumbling a bit, Yukimura holds your hand saying “Don’t fall, dummy. Jeez.” With red cheeks. After making some new, innovative glasses, you see everything so well and get so excited. “You look like a nerd.” He’d tease but he’s happy you can see and stay safe and also secretly finds your glasses really cute but will take that to his grave.

[planettaeil]

Title: The 7th Recruit

Title: The 7th Recruit Type: Smuttish (???) Agent!Ten AU Characters: Reader X Ten Warning(s): mild language, MENTION OF VIOLENCE! Word Count: 3, 417 (wow i got carried away)

A/N: I had so much fun writing this one 😄 I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

Summary: There’s only one spot left. Are you gonna get it or is this dangerously handsome man gonna destroy you?

“I heard that they’re looking for the 7th recruit,” your roommate, Kim Doyoung, nonchalantly blurted out as he continued cleaning the sharp knives in his collection, carefully looking for any prints and meticulously wiping it with the cloth. You ran to the living room to where he was comfortably sitting and knelt down beside him.

“Holy shit are you talking about the The Gunpoint?” You couldn’t hide the excitement in your voice as you shook Doyoung’s arms, obviously too impatient to wait for an answer. In result, Doyoung accidentally cut his finger, in which resulted to him growling in pain, and you carefully unlatched your grip.

“Oops.”

With a glare, he drop the knife and went to the bathroom to get the kit. You followed him around, obviously too preoccupied to care about the small cut. “Come on, what about the recruitment?”

“Can you not? I worked so hard not to get another scar on my hand,” he immediately clean the cut and you rolled your eyes.

“Stop overreacting. You won’t die from that tiny scratch,” you sat beside him on the couch and took the golden knife and cloth to help him clean it. “But seriously what do you mean about The Gunpoint looking for the 7th recruit? I thought the examinations were over?”

“Oh, the examinations that you failed last month?” He teased with a smug look on his face and you fought the urge to smash his face in. It was true that you tried out for the examinations last month but unfortunately, you failed to succeed the last task and your dream of becoming an agent of the best secret agent group out there now looked like something you won’t ever achieve.

Their examinations in choosing seven new recruits were pretty intense for someone who just started from an unknown group like you. You knew it was such a big jump to apply at The Gunpoint when you barely started in a small group in your town but dreaming big won’t cost you anything. You knew you had to try and live the life you’ve been dreaming of since you were a child.

The Gunpoint is not your usual group that simply spies or threaten people whom their clients wants to scare. They only work for the biggest international organizations and even the government, and will do anything even if it involves killing someone involved in a serious crime.

Even though they do jobs that are out of this world, they only limit themselves into something that involves serious crimes and threats to the government or huge companies. They don’t do small favours for petty threats to innocent people.

“Are you gonna tell me what happened or should I punch you in the face?”

“Geez. You’re being so violent nowadays,” Doyoung faked a shudder and snatched his collection from you. “Not sure about the entire details tho but all I know is that the 7th recruit was a spy from the rival group. The boss was so furious when the 5th recruit found out and reported it to him but hey, at least he didn’t kill him.”

“Where’s the 7th recruit then?”

“I believe he’s in the interrogation room,” you nodded. Lucky bastard.

“And the head informed me that the 5 other applicants who didn’t succeed last time are given the chance to take the vacant spot. And as for you, you better prepare yourself for the new tests that you’re going to face again,” he flicked your forehead and stood up to go to his room.

You saw a knife that fell from his box earlier and a wild idea came to your mind. “Hey, Doyoung!” You called, throwing the knife to his direction, originally aiming for his head.

As expected, he was quick to dodge it and the sharp object hit the cemented wall and fell to the ground.

“Wow, you’re still fast! This is why you’re my role model!” You slowly clapped and he just rolled his eyes and left, completely not bothered by the fact that you just threw a knife to him.

Doyoung was the 3rd recruit from the previous batch and you practically looked up to him even though you both started at the same time in the same small group from your hometown. He managed to snaked his way to The Gunpoint a year ago and you were seriously so eager to enter it now that you’re given the chance to take it.

Collecting the small knife on the floor, a burning desire to get that 7th spot started to build inside you.

I’m gonna be the 7th recruit. I just know it.

~

The letter that you received earlier that day had not much written in it but you knew exactly what it meant.

To the 7th recruit,

Find Mr. Ten Chittaphon- code blue rose.

-TGP

That was pretty much it but it felt so fucking intense for a recruitment examination. You mentally, and physically prepared yourself for the examination. Looking at the black ink printed on the white paper, you couldn’t help but get excited how TGP (The Gunpoint) already called you the 7th recruit in their letter. It motivated you to do your job correctly, even though it involved almost killing this unknown man named Ten Chittaphon.

You were proud to say that you memorized every single Codes by TGP and according to the letter, they wanted you to track Ten and do whatever you want to get the details from this man and why he’s sabotaging the government even if you have to almost kill this man.

If it was Code Red Rose then you’re up to totally kill him.

After some intensive research, you found out that Ten Chittaphon usually hangs out in this high-end night club near the border, a place where celebrities and politicians hang out to stay clear from public’s eyes. It was known for being too exclusive and strict. You even asked Doyoung, or begged to be exact, to make you a fake ID so you could perfectly blend in. Apparently, it’s difficult for normal people to enter the said club so you had to create a new identity that would link you to a fictitious powerful backer.

Letting out a huge huff and fixing your hair to the side so that your bare shoulders would be perfectly displayed, you strutted your way inside, walking past the guys gawking at your figure like hungry preys. You were simply wearing your only short, tight black dress that perfectly hugged your curves matched with some killer heels to perfect the looks.

You weren’t in for some new fashion trends or anything like that but you certainly didn’t look like a hobo compared to these celebrities going in and out the club sporting nothing but branded clothes.

The ear-splitting music of a foreign song greeted you as the blinding neon lights illuminated the dark dance floor. You could practically see everyone either dancing their drunk ass out or dirty dancing along with the beat, artificial smoke fogging everyone’s view.

It was what made the club exciting but you reminded yourself that you were there to look for a man, and of course, win the 7th spot in TGP. You headed to the counter and ordered yourself some liquor, eyes starting to scan the crowd to find Ten Chittaphon.

Numerous guys approached you to ask for your name or buy you drink, and as much as you want to enjoy, you’re strictly here to focus on your assignment and move on before anyone else could take your spot. After a good 20 minutes of scanning through the foggy and dark room, you froze on your seat when you saw the familiar face of the man you ought to hunt sitting on the couch situated in the reserved booth.

It was as if he made himself available for you.

The strong gaze and pointed nose with his long, disheveled hair perfectly matched the photo given to you by TGP through Doyoung. You knew it was him and wasting your time was the last thing on your list.

Based on the information that you got from people about him, the only way to get on his good side is to offer him something.

You approached him with a curious look, eyeing his whole appearance, which unmistakably screamed wealth, charisma, and power, and thought about how you’re gonna lure him in. Thankfully, he was alone as he sitted comfortably on the leather couch and had a glass of liquor in his right hand to accompany him. His eyes moved to look at you, his body still not moving.

“You look lonely,” you commented, slowly and carefully sitting beside him, making sure to give him a glimpse of what was hidden behind your lacy bra.

“I was waiting for you to come to me,” he replied with a smug look on his face. You were almost surprised that he went along with your words.

He surely knew how to play the game and you readied yourself to level up. With a soft smile, you leaned forward and brushed your lips softly against his ear. “I hope I’m not too late.”

“You’re just in time for me, love,” he moved his head suddenly and had your lips almost touching his instead. He glanced at the dance floor behind you and smiled, the kind that anyone would fall for. “Wanna dance?”

“I would love to,” he stood up and grabbed your hand as you both weaved your way to the crowded dance floor. You were ecstatic at how easy it was for you to have him in your hands already and you had to give more to completely have him alone.

The EDM song came to an end when you were both in the middle and was replaced by a sensual one.

Right.

He immediately had both his hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him as the people around you did the same to their partners to perfectly feel the lyrics and beat of the music. He was like preventing other people from touching you and wanted you only for himself as he wrapped both arms around your waist.

You swayed your hips back and forth, making sure to brush it against his clothed member. You don’t know how you managed to act this bold but it’s probably the alcohol doing things for you. He seemed to enjoy it because he pulled you closer to him, his hands digging to your waist through your thin dress.

You turned around, your bare back against his chest, your arms stretching to wrapped it around his neck. You could feel his hot breath fanning against the crook of your neck, his lips hovering just a millimeter away from your skin. You both stayed like that, feeling the sensual beat as your mind raced to the thoughts of doing your task as soon as possible without being too obvious.

“What’s your name, darling?” He whispered, his lips slowly making its way to the back of your ear.

“Call me Rina,” you replied and bit back a laugh as a random assed name escaped from your mouth. You haven’t thought about your alias yet so maybe you’ll get an official one after passing the final examinations.

“Hmm…Rina. I like that name,” you turned around to face him again, your eyes level with his, arms still wrapped around his neck. “I’m Ten, but I’m sure you already know it.”

Oh, how I wish I could attack him right now and get done with my task, you thought.

“Everyone knows you here,” you commented, growing impatient about the whole thing. You just want to get things done as soon as possible, get the 7th spot, go home, and get a long ass sleep. You didn’t care much about how fucking hot and handsome he looked with his white long sleeve shirt and black pants, because passing the examination was your current priority.

But damn, this look should be illegal, you thought as you placed both your palms on his chest, your eyes hinting something that he surprisingly understood.

“Wanna go somewhere…private?”

Yes, finally!

“Got a place on your mind?”

“I think I do,” he replied.

The way to the place where he said would send you to paradise was too steamy to say the least. All you could remember was him lifting you up from your seat effortlessly like you weigh nothing and placed you in his lap in which you happily repositioned yourself so you were straddling him.

He was the one who initiated the kiss as he grabbed your head and captured your lips with his. The kiss was hot and so demanding you couldn’t even have the chance to catch your breath. You spent the entire ride in that position, obviously not caring about Ten’s driver looking at you both through the rear view mirror.

When you got inside Ten’s presidential suite, you wasted no time and unbuttoned his shirt as he carried you to his bedroom, your legs wrapped around his waist. His lips were still tasting yours with his hands roaming your bottom, making you almost forget what your true intentions were.

You had one of your hands tugging his soft, silky black hair to pull him even closer to you and taste the faint sweet minty flavor of his lips while the other struggled to open the remaining buttons.

He dropped you on his bed, his hooded eyes raking through your body like a hungry wolf. You took all your damn time watching him unbuttoning the last one and taking it off, exposing his milky skin and toned stomach. He crawled on top of you and rested both elbows on either side of your head, his lips immediately attacking your neck. Your hands went to his back, nails slowly digging through his skin as you desperately held onto him.

Focus, (Y/N). Focus!

You pulled away, both of you trying to catch your breath.

“God, you’re making me lose my control,” he whispered and showered your neck and collarbone with sloppy kisses.

“Would you like to…try something new?” You asked in between breaths, hands now tugging his hair. He was confused with your question, based on his looks, and you smiled.

“Do you have a necktie or something similar?” You continued. He chuckled as he just understood what you want to do with the necktie.

Well, the quickest and easiest plan you could think of right now is to seduce the shit out of Ten, tie both his hands together on the headboard and start your task. It’s basically very simple but contrary to your beliefs, he seemed to be a very easy man.

He smiled before getting up to open the drawer beside the king size bed and pulled out a dark green tie.

“I’m guessing you knew what I want to do,” you started as you took the necktie from him, a small yet mischievous smile present on your face. “Would you like me to proceed?”

He was studying your moves as he crawled back to the bed, his hands reaching for your thighs. “I haven’t done this before but I’m willing to try it with you,” he smirked, “Fuck, you’re making me do things I normally don’t like.”

You quietly pushed him so he was now lying on the bed, tying both his hands to the headboard. You made it extra hard to untie for obvious reasons, but made sure it isn’t too suspicious.

You ran your fingers through his chest down to his stomach, stopping right above the band of his pants. You then stood up and turned your back on him, leaving him cursing at the sudden absence of your touch. Slowly reaching for the strap of your heels made you look so dramatic and erotic but in reality, you were just trying to get the small knife from Doyoung’s collection that you hid in the strap wrapped around your thigh.

This is too easy, you smiled to yourself. You just honestly didn’t expect it to be this easy since you thought Ten would be smart enough to suspect your moves.

When you reached for your knife, you almost panicked when you felt nothing in your strap, your fingers carefully scanning your inner thigh just to make sure. Your eyes then slowly moved to scan the white tiled floor, hoping to find the small knife to get things done. You still had your back on him, in which you could feel his intense gaze on you, but you refused to turn around until you find the very weapon you’ll use.

You remembered feeling it under your dress when Ten’s fingers dug into your waist earlier, slowly making it way south but stopped right before he could slip his long, strangely soft hands under your dress. You remembered feeling the cold, sharp surface of the weapon as you swung your hips back and forth along his about an hour ago so you were confused as to where it might be.

You felt Ten getting impatient behind you as you could felt him moving his body against the sheet, and you bent down to take off your heels, taking all your damn time to scan the whole area without looking suspicious.

What the fuck, (Y/N)? Do you really have to be this clumsy?!

With your bare feet touching the cold ground, your fingers slowly reached for the zipper of your dress, eyes still scanning the floor. But right before you could completely take off your dress, you felt a cold and sharp object poking the skin of your throat in which a small move might cut you open.

The warm hands touched your shoulders for a few seconds, as if to tell you they are there, before quickly pulling you to their body knocking the air off your lungs. Your eyes widen at the sudden realize that the knife threatening to slit your throat was the one you were looking for- which also happened to be one of Doyoung’s favourite item.

He wrapped his left arm around you, with the other one holding the knife still threatening your throat.

“Game over, baby girl,” he whispered, hot breath fanning against your neck for the last time before he flipped you over so you’re on the bed and put on a cuff around your wrists behind you at an amazing speed.

You were too shock to say anything and all you did was roll your body so you were now facing him, and stared whoever the fuck he really was as he repositioned himself above you.

With the knife still against your skin he said, “You were too impatient that you made yourself so predictable,” he shook his head and ruffled his hair, making him look like he’s bored to death. “And you fucking suck at acting, you should consider getting a coach before you come to this field of work.”

Shit, so he knew about my plan?

The smirk on his face made you want to smash his face in with a brick but since you’re in such a painful position, wrists behind you with Ten’s weight stopping you from moving, all you could do is protest with your dirty language.

“Get your fucking body off me!”

“Tsk. You’ve got a nasty mouth for a beautiful face.”

“Fuck off!”

He just laughed at your weak attempt of wriggling your way out and you honestly thought it’s gonna be your last night. “And obviously, you miserably failed the final exam. That was probably the shittiest plan I’ve ever encounter in my whole life.” He stood up from the bed and walked to stand before you, hair disheveled and the shirt unbuttoned.

“Wait what?” You looked at him and sat up with the most baffled look ever. “Examination? Are you….are you talking about-”

“The 43rd Annual Recruitment of TGP, yes, and you miserably failed it.”

You felt absolutely humiliated that your cover was blown off and most importantly because that was supposed to be the most crucial part of being an agent.

Also, you failed the examination for the second fucking time.

“And who the fuck are you?” You asked through gritted teeth.

He studied the small knife for a few seconds before glancing at you with a smug look.

“I’m Ten, the 1st recruit.”

Oh shit.

I guess it was the best time for you to say goodbye to your dream of being an agent.

[maddielivesinbooks]

Friday

9:30 AM: Good morning and welcome to my last spooky reading blog. This weekend, I have three major reading goals.

Start and finish Spell on Wheels, which shouldn’t be hard since it’s only a graphic novel. 

Finish His Hideous Heart. I started this last weekend and got a good chunk of the way through during the week. I don’t think this will be hard either 

Start and finish These Witches Don’t Burn. This is my most ambitious goal, and I really do not see it happening. Maybe I should have more faith in myself. 

I also have a ton of reading to do for my women’s history class, and my roommate and I want to marathon the Scream movies. So we’ll see how much reading I actually get done. 

I quickly wanted to tell y’all that I finished House of Salt and Sorrow by Erin A. Craig last night, and really enjoyed it. It’s a spooky retelling of The 12 Dancing Princesses, which was a story I always loved as a little girl. This version has more murder and ghosts. I gave it four stars on Goodreads. It was so creepy and the imagery was lovely. I also love a good sibling dynamic and that was very prevalent in this book. The mystery was really compelling, and I was dying to know what was coming next. This is an unpopular opinion, but I really liked the romance and thought it was a great way to escape all the creepiness and mourning of the story. I took away a star because I hated the oldest sister, Camille. She was sort of a  b-word, but she kind of grew on me. Only a little. Also the last few chapters hurt my head, and I don’t know if it was in a good way. 

10:30 AM: I have taken my morning walk and gotten breakfast. I’m now getting ready for the day. My roommate, Christa, and I are going out for pizza and then heading to this huge Salvation Army in a nearby town. I’m hoping there’s some good books there.

3:00 PM: Unfortunately, the book selection was sort of weak. They did have several copies of various Twilight saga books, which I always like to see, but I do own all of them. Luckily, I did find a very nice sweater and very nice shirt that my hero, Jack Dylan Grazer, also owns. I’ve been jealous of the shirt since I saw it, and now I can wear it all the time.

Anyway, I made Christa take pics of me in my new (old) clothes, so here you go.

8:00 PM: I finally start Spell On Wheels while my laundry is going. I love it a whole lot. Queer lady witches is my favorite genre. The art is so cute, and the book is just spooky enough, without scaring me or grossing me out. Also, there is a hot goatman. I love goatman, and I think you should all Google him if you are not familiar with his work.

9:00 PM: After my laundry is done, and Christa and I have a dance party to bad Christmas songs, we turn on Glee. I love Glee but also hate it. Sam is my favorite character, because my type is an idiot with a heart of gold who also has ginormous lips. 

12:00 AM: We watched so much Glee. So much. Happy Saturday. 

Saturday

8:00 AM: Despite my late night watching Glee, I still wake up at a reasonable time. There’s no reason to, since no where on campus is open yet. I spend my morning reading fanfiction (yes its Reddie, yes I’m still not over that, no I don’t want to stop). 

10:00 AM: I pack my backpack with my laptop and the reading I have to do for women’s history. I also grab Spell On Wheels and His Hideous Heart, but I’m not sure I’m going to get any reading done. At least not the kind anyone wants to hear about. 

I guess I’ll talk about His Hideous Heart real quick. I’m not finished yet, but I am enjoying it. I think some people were saying it might not be for someone like me, who is unfamiliar with Poe’s work. I mean, I know Annabel Lee but that’s only because I stan Matthew Gray Gubler and Cassandra Clare’s The Dark Artifices (I know, please forgive me for stanning her work). That being said, this has been fun. It’s like I’m just reading some spooky stories. It also helps that I have a friend who is president of my school’s lit society and is willing to tell me the plot of several Poe stories instead of doing homework (love you long time Hannah). 

2:00 PM: I finished lots of homework at Starbucks and I’ve now returned to my room to finish Spell on Wheels, which I’ve been embarrassingly calling Spells on Wheels. Oops!

The good news is, I really like this book. It’s super fun. I finish it up, and give it 4.5/5 Stars. Is there going to be another volume? Any continuation whatsoever?! The ending was sort of open.

3:00 PM: I read two stories from His Hideous Heart but I’m not really feeling it so I put it down and read fanfiction instead. 

4:30 PM: I tear into a bag of gummy bears and we start our Scream marathon. I don’t know why I thought I could handle this. It’s icky and sad and making me like David Arquette. Around the time a girl dies via garage door, I realize we are not going to be watching more than this movie.

I appreciate Scream for what it is, but also recognize it is not for me. My roomie and I have a dance party to bad Christmas music instead.

10:00 PM: After Scream, I go see a play on campus. I’m glad I did, because I feel like I’ve been doing a whole lot of nothing lately. After the play, I go back to my room and watch Good Mythical Morning, which is what I watch when I need a pick me up. I also read some fanfiction (shocker) before I go to sleep.

Sunday

10:00 AM: I wake up later than expected, and realize it’s pouring out. I planned on going to the library but the torrential rain completely ruins that plan. Instead I pop open my shitty umbrella and take the short walk to Starbucks where I chug down a mocha and slap post it notes in spots in my women’s history books. I also write seven pages of my screenplay that I do not feel great about.

12:00 PM: When I leave Starbucks it’s raining harder than before. I feel like I’m walking through a swamp or something. I decide once I get back to my room to not leave until the rain stops. Instead, I hang up my soaking wet clothes and do some yoga while listening to bad Christmas music. 

2:00 PM: After yoga and a shower, I finally sit down to do some reading. My goal is to finish His Hideous Heart. I have about 75 pages left and I know I can speed through them. I’m also thinking I’ll maybe start These Witches Don’t Burn, if I have the motivation.

3:00 PM: Reader, I do not have the motivation. I finish His Hideous Heart, which means I’m going to give every story a star rating, just for you. 

She Rode a Horse of Fire (based on Metzengerstein) by Kendare Blake: ⅗ ☆

Its Carnival (based on The Cask of Amontillado by Tiffany D. Jackson : 3.5/5 ☆

Night-Tide (based on Annabel Lee) by Tessa Gratton: 4.5/5 ☆

The Glittering Death (based on The Pit and the Pendulum) by Caleb Roehrig : 2.5/5 ☆

A Drop of Stolen Ink (based on The Purloined Letter) by Emily Llyod-Jones : ⅘ ☆

Happy Days, Sweetheart (based on The Tell-Tale Heart) by Stephanie Keun : ⅗ ☆

The Raven (Remix) by amanda lovelace : 2.5/5 ☆

Changeling (based on Hop-Frog) by Marieke Nijkamp : ⅘ ☆

The Oval Filter (based on The Oval Portrait by Lamar Giles: ⅗ ☆

Red (based on The Masque of the Red Death) by Hillary Monahan: 2.5/5 ☆

Lygia (based on Ligeia) by Dahlia Adler: ⅘ ☆

The Fall of the Bank of Usher (based on The Fall of the House of Usher) by Fran Wilde: ⅘ ☆

The Murders in Rue Apartelle, Boracay (based on The Murders in the Rue Morgue) by Rin Chupeco: 5/5 ☆

So there’s all that! I really do not feel like reading, so I color and watch Youtube instead. Thrilling, I know.

8:30 PM: I finally, finally start These Witches Don’t Burn! It’s probably the last thing I’ll read before the end of these blogs, and I definitely won’t finish, so let’s just end this now. 

I’ve read nine books this month, so far. You’ve heard my thoughts on most of them, so I’m just going to tell you my favorite and least favorite. My favorite was absolutely Lock Every Door by Riley Sagar. I have never gasped so loudly in my life. This book had me clutching my pearls. I also really loved The Okay Witch by Emma Steinkellner. I guess my least favorite was The Lady Rogue by Jenn Bennett, which hurts to say. I don’t want to say His Hideous Heart because I am unfamiliar with Poe, and also because my feelings on each story are wildly different. Anyway,I still gave The Lady Rogue a 3.5/5! It’s just that compared to everything else I read, it wasn’t very memorable. That being said, I still recommend all of Jenn Bennett’s young adult contemporary novels.  And I recommend almost all the spooky books I read this October! It’s been a great month. 

  Thanks for reading! Follow and share and like! Stay tuned for something similar to this in December! Follow me other places too!

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  Boo! Bitch Blogs #4 (a.k.a The Finale) Friday 9:30 AM: Good morning and welcome to my last spooky reading blog. This weekend, I have three major reading goals.

[deanxcasficrecs]

Smut (without weird kinks)

Hahaha, hello there! Are you traumatized by our weird smut fics? Me too, buddy, me too. Seriously, Dean fucking his catboy Cas never leaves my mind. Anyway, this one is quite simple question since smut fics are veeeery common. I can’t be the only one who finds normal books weird nowadays. Seriously, a story without smut is like… Well, kid’s book. Everyone should read a few smut fics and they wouldn’t think that 50 Shades is something special. It’s not. It’ shitty. - Admin J

P.S. If you have no idea what we’re talking about, check the WTF did I just read tag in HERE.

P.P.S. If weird kinks are not allowed, let me share a gif that has nothing to do with anything.

Title: A Chip on my Shoulder and a Halo on my Head

Author: thepinupchemist

Rating: Explicit

Words: 6,461 – Finished

Admin’s assessment: ★ ★ ★ ★

Admin J’s notes: I’m not a huge fan of professor Cas (unlike Admin A) but this one has something sooooo cool in it. I love it! No weird kinks, if tattooed Cas doesn’t count.

Summary: Dean finally meets the professor that Sam has been talking up for the entire semester and can’t help but think the guy is a total dick. A sandwich, a plaid shirt, and one hell of a first date later, Dean has to admit…he was so, so very wrong.

( Read here )

Title: Stairway to Heaven

Author: Ivy_Brooks

Rating: Explicit

Words: 4,944 – Finished

Admin’s assessment: ★ ★ ★ ★

Admin J’s notes: Did I cross the line with this one? Hope not. It’s not TOO kinky. I mean, no catboys, or pet angels, or Hitler. Seriously, if you have read our super kinky and weird posts, this is nothing compared to those.

You know, reading fics has made me a bit insane person. I mean, my friends tell me that their boyfriends want to do this and that and I’m like “ah, well that’s nothing. Let me tell you about—” and then all people disappear from the room and I’m like “I just got started”. Does that happen to anyone else?  

Summary: All Dean had to do was just go up the stairs. Simple enough… right?

( Read here )

Title: Bone Deep

Author: Valinde (Valyria)

Rating: Explicit

Words: 6,418 – Finished

Admin’s assessment: ★ ★ ★ ★

Admin J’s notes: Okay, I’m back in business. Not too kinky. Once again, not a big fan of age difference either, but this one is sooo good. So good. It’s not just smut, it also has a plot, but smut comes first, so it should fit into your needs. Oops, that sounded kinky. OH. And a warning: I hope you don’t mind ABO too kinky, because ABO fic it is.

Summary: Restless in the wake of his heat, 18 year old Dean Smith sneaks out of his college dorm in search of a one-night stand and ends up with much more than a few lovebites to show for it.

( Read here )

Title: Invisible Ink

Author: Annie D

Rating: Explicit

Words: 1,092 – Finished

Admin’s assessment: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Admin J’s notes: Wing kink can’t be too kinky, right? Right. Wing kink is not kinky at all. Yes. That’s it. So, here you go. One of my favorite wing kink fics. Have fun! 

Oh god, now I came to think what some not fandom people might think. “Hey dad, in my story the angel is doing naughty things with his wings and one human. Yes, it does include anal sex.”

WHY IN THE EARTH I WOULD DISCUSS ABOUT THAT WITH MY DAD? Just read the fic, please.

Summary: Dean has some fun with Castiel’s wings.

( Read here )

Title: Back Alley Dive

Author: Mythological_Compendium

Rating: Explicit

Words: 1,875 – Finished

Admin’s assessment: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Admin J’s notes: YES. Almost forgot this one. This is one of my favorite one shots of all the time. I’m fucking in love with this. Just my kind of kinky. And the Cas of the fic… My dream guy. Oh gosh.

Summary: Dean Smith would like to issue a formal announcement that he does not let “strangers” fuck him in alleys behind dive bars.

( Read here )

[subparatbestcomics]

Artist’s Commentary 5

It is the sixtieth week of Rapture For One. RFO is, by my estimate, almost halfway through it’s first published draft. Simultaneously something I am proud of, and concerned by. I hope you have been enjoying RFO’s first draft so far, and as always, your comments and criticism are appreciated.

RFO 41 I've had a much easier time keeping the Devil's proportions and face shape consistent than Jude's or the Angels. The Angel's hairline, especially, doesn't quite work the way I'd like it to.

As for expressions, I've tried to give the impression that Jude is lost and confused; caught between two spiritual powers sniping at each other.

RFO 42 I had a lot of fun with the facial expressions and speech bubbles. They aren't perfect, but I really do enjoy drawing them.

RFO 43 As the possibility of being dead is dismissed, the grey background of the previous page clears up, and Jude transitions from confusion to irritation at these intruders wrecking his house and eating his pie.

RFO 44 Drawing The earth as projected from the Angels hand was a challenge. The proportions are off towards the north pole, but I think it's passable on the whole.

As for why the earth is projected at all; the Angel is demonstrating the enormity of consequences of the choice he is asking of Jude.

You may also notice this page is done in pen, rather than pencil. Pencil has proven good for sketching out the page, but whenever I make a mistake in the final work, eraser smudges abound. Now, I will lightly sketch in pencil, and finish line-work in ink.

RFO 45 I tried to push the artstyle towards being slightly more 'cartoonish' here. I think I like the look of it better. Also, simplifying the art will, hopefully, make it easier for me to notice and correct my own mistakes.

RFO 46 For the first time, we catch a glimpse of the upstairs portion of Jude's house. A hypothetical 'Bioshock 4' poster hangs on the wall. Of course, an actual Bioshock 4 was announced recently, so this poster will have to be updated by the time a finished version of RFO is published.

Real-world coincidences aside, this page demonstrates where I've begun to use the pen to give textures to objects, rather than just outlines. The door frame took the longest.

Jude is starting to doubt his perception of reality, as the surreal events of the night truly sink in.

RFO 47 A quiet moment alone, no time passes but it feels like eternity. The black edge of the room encroaches upon the already cramped bathroom, and emphasizes how small Jude feels in this situation.

RFO 48 As he pockets his phone, a penny falls out, and Jude thinks about running away again.

These pages focus a lot on Jude's hands as he picks up the penny. I think I drew them well-enough, though I know they could be better.

The last two panels originally had empty spaces around Jude, so I decided to have abstractions of how Jude feels surround him. The first panel shows that spark of Jude's idea blowing away his negativity with new hope. In the second panel, the negativity takes the shape of a fanged mouth behind the wall; threatening to eat away at him if he doesn't make a decision.

As an aside; I didn't notice until after the page was already posted, but Jude's jacket isn't shaded in the last panel. Oops.

RFO 49 Jude flips the coin to decide what to do, but chickens out and tries to run anyway.

This page is the first to use grey markers for shading, and for the foreseeable future, will be the only page to do so. As an experiment, the markers were a huge success, and I really enjoy how they turned out, as well as how easy they are on my wrist compared to shading with a pencil. However, the light grey marker ran dry just as the page was completed; so until the darker markers are used up, I won't be opening up a new pack. For the time being, it's back to pencil.

RFO 50 The fun thing about angels and demons is that there are so many variations and varieties across thousands of years of depictions, that they can look like nearly anything, and the audience will still know which creature is on which side.

For this page, negative space is very important. The white bars of the window place the viewpoint inside the bathroom, and provides a thin layer of separation from the chaos outside. The rays of light from the heavens are so intense as to be entirely white spaces, almost like solid columns.

For Jude, seeing something so decidedly unreal outside his window tells him that even if it was all in his head, there is no way for him to navigate outside, and if it is real, there is no way to survive outside.

                                                                             Jacob Birmingham