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dawniebb · 4 years ago

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Closure

So...back again with another marathon I’m hosting (?) with @healing-winston-pratt <3! about our canon divergence because canon is for the weak :) however, this time you’ll only see me so...yeah, guys, I’m sorry, bEAR WITH ME LMAO AFSGHJADFGSHJA :’)))

I thiiiiiink this is...the last marathon we’ll do about this I think, and it’s a series of four fics called “Closure” which is...basically, what the name says :’) it’s about people finding closure for the ones they lost throughout the books AND before the books this is about Georgia hello darling you’re wonderful im sorry mm killed you because we thought it was..necessary after that half-assed Supernova epilogue uwu. So yeah. The first one in this Closure series is Georgia :’)

You can use this post as a masterlist for backround bc we don’t have one yet

And the tag list (If you want to be addedOR removed just notifiy us pls): @novadreamer95438 @idkimbadwithusernamesandstuff @novas-tunnel-of-anxiety @obsidianfr3sk

ALSO I NAMED THESE AFTER SONGS :) So the link will be in the lyrics I hope

Georgia

I Kill Giants

Heavier heels His mourning concealed On the saddest of days Why couldn’t we save you?

A couple days after the supernova, once all the funerals had passed and things were going back to normal, Adrian went to visit his mom.

Georgia Rawles was buried inside a very ostentatious mausoleum, located in Gatlon’s cemetery.

Nobody had ever confirmed that, but rumor had it, it resembled the structure of Pops’ old house, by the edges of the city, close to the abandoned train rails; it had similar dimensions and structure, but the décor was a hundred times better, with white pillars, stairs that led to the entrance and a wooden gate with a carved R; at some point in time, all members of the Council would be there.

Right now, it was only Mom and Evander.

The mausoleum was always surrounded by gifts that people left there. And right now, since Gatlon was grieving Blacklight, the fence was open to the public.

Though…

Well…

Whether the fence was locked or not wouldn’t have mattered under normal circumstances because, obviously, Adrian had his own copy of the key, though he rarely went to see her. Not because he didn’t love her (he did. A lot. And he missed her every day despite having been torn from him when he was just a kid), but because…

Because he liked to remember her as what she had been, not for the fact she wasn’t here anymore; he liked to see her in family albums and draw her, but the mausoleum was a very…sad place for him, almost depressing.

It was also a place where he liked to be alone with Mom. And sometimes talk to her. After all, they lived in a world where people had powers; everything was possible. Which meant that, deep down, Adrian still had faith she would answer someday.

But she never answered.

Not really.

But it wasn’t like that made Adrian mad, because maybe she was too busy doing something else; maybe she was very comfortable…wherever she was. And that made him feel rather happy.

To know she was at peace.

So, slowly, Adrian walked up the stairs, and then opened the gate.

The smell of candles and flowers greeted him, for the two headstones were being visited more often these days.

The Renegades’ slogan was written on top of the wall where the headstones rested.

Bold. Valiant. Just

Written in shining silver, so they didn’t take much attention from the spots where the two fallen Council members laid.

Right now, the bottom of the wall was upholstered with Blacklight and Lady Indomitable plushies, photographs, and tons of flowers.

So many flowers, that Adrian had to, manually, remove some of them to make his way to the wall; first, he left the bouquet he had brought for Evander; he had put some snacks in it, because it had seemed…funny in a bittersweet way at the moment, and also tons of polaroid photos Adrian had taken with him some years ago, when he was trying to entertain him during a Christmas dinner.

Evander had always been Adrian’s favorite Council member, because he…was young enough to treat him as brother; of course, Evander was an adult, but that didn’t change the fact he was younger than 14 when Adrian was born, and they had always shared a rather close relationship. He was annoying at times and, during the last months he was alive, he had fallen into a bottomless pit of madness, which deformed his personality until he almost acted like a dictator.

Of course, Adrian didn’t condone that, but he still had good memories regarding Evander and he doubted he would ever get rid of those memories. Mostly because…somehow, he didn’t want to.

“May the light guide your way.”

Evander Wade. Blacklight.

Brother, husband, father, friend and hero.

Adrian supposed the right thing to do would’ve been saying something, but he hadn’t come here today to talk to Evander, so he didn’t have anything to tell him. Not really.

So he just touched the headstone, but then he moved on to his mom’s, which was to the left of Evander’s.

And there she was.

There was Mom.

“When in doubt…fly.”

Georgia Rawles. Lady Indomitable.

Sister, mother, friend and hero.

And also gone too soon, like Evander, but nobody ever wanted to say that, because it was depressing.

Gulping, Adrian placed the bouquet of white and pink roses on the floor, and ran his fingers through his mother’s name.

“You can’t see it…but I have a lot of bandages beneath my clothes.” He told her, barely able to laugh. “…because I got a ton of tattoos. I don’t know if you would’ve approved that but…yeah. I already took them off, though…in the most violent way you can imagine. But I’m doing good.”

His sentences, like it always happened, were met with cold silence, as Adrian ceased caressing the name and hugged himself, feeling the bandages that were wrapped around his body; the wounds barely hurt anymore, though. After all, they had been treated by a prodigy healer; the process was supposed to be this fast.

“I hope you’re doing good too.” Adrian said, taking a deep breath, before staring at his feet.

If he had to find a word to describe what he had been feeling since the battle of the cathedral, that word would’ve been “shock”. Because, there in the cathedral, it had been the first time somebody had told him what he had done. And his heart had been feeling heavy ever since , and Adrian didn’t know how he was going to get up from this one.

Maybe he wouldn’t.

Maybe it was something that would torment him forever unless he got help, which didn’t seem so unlikely, given that he had his dads were supportive and also willing to help him go through the process and everything.

But everything was way too heavy, just…

Knowing what he had done, even if it hadn’t been directly his fault.

“Something that seems…extremely weird, in the good sense…. Is that…” Adrian coughed. “I crossed paths with the little girl you were trying to save, and you would be happy to know she’s an amazing person…and…well…she’s my girlfriend now so, you know…she…she’s just amazing, and I love her; I guess you would’ve loved her too...”

His voice was starting to break, but Adrian chose to continue, adjusting his glasses using his pinky and sniffing.

“She’s also very broken. But she’s trying to get better, and forgive…” He said. “….I like to believe you would forgive me too, you know? Because I…I don’t know. We both know what happened. And I…”

I’m sorry.

“I loved you so much. I still do. I’m sorry my fear of losing you was bigger, until it took you away. You didn’t deserve that.” Adrian had no longer control over his shaking hands. “You were supposed to be here; to meet Nova; to be with me and I’m…I’m sorry I…I’m so sorry, mom.”

He shook and shivered, but he didn’t cry.

Not yet.

Because when he touched his mother’s headstone again, he just remembered the texture of her skin; it was always soft and warm, although her hands were a little calloused, and she smelled like violets and sun (even if people tended to insist on the fact that the sun didn’t smell like anything); he remembered how he wrapped his legs around her waist as she held him into her arms and danced with him around the apartment to Have You Ever Seen the Rain, although Adrian didn’t understand the lyrics back then and he was yet to have the guts to listen to the song again; he remembered how Mom spun around, kissing his nose, and at some point she got so lost in the moment, that her feet lifted up from the ground.

That had been a good day. And those had been a good 6 years. And while Adrian rested his head against the headstone, he almost felt the fabric of her pants, as he saw her taking out her Lady Indomitable costume and begged her to stay at home, just for today.

Now that he was older, he had grown to accept that had been her job, and he was her legacy, although not everything that was left of her.

This world. The whole twisted yet powerful everything this world had, was what was left of Georgia Rawles. And Adrian would forever be proud she was his mom, just like he was proud Hugh and Simon were his dads. Because he had fallen in the safest place he could think of.

Adrian remained like that for a while, pressing his forehead against Mom’s headstone until, through the thick blank noise, he heard knocking; three gentle knocks on the gates by the entrance, which made him jump.

And, when he turned around, all he could see was Hugh.

Which…didn’t surprise him at all.

He was wearing a jacket and jeans, but Adrian could see that his blue shirt was the one he often wore to sleep; besides, he was fidgeting with the car keys between his fingers, which only confirmed what Adrian had been thinking before leaving the house.

He should’ve had notified his dads he was leaving early; he had risen with the sun, only to be here in the cemetery before everyone else could. But he hadn’t told Hugh or Simon.

And, lately, Simon had been having trouble to sleep, so by the time the sun was rising, he often went to Adrian’s room and slept on the couch; he supposed he had tried to do that, and then he hadn’t found him, which led to immediate chaos.

Yet, Hugh didn’t seem mad.

In fact, once he put the car keys inside his pockets, he smiled.

“Mind if I join you?”

Adrian didn’t answer, but Hugh understood it was a positive answer anyway, so he went ahead; the sound of his steps created a faint echo, and when he was next to him, Hugh wrapped an arm around Adrian’s shoulder, gently.

Then, they both stared at the headstone in silence, as if they both were having their own private conversation with Georgia, in a crowded, yet very intimate scenario; a phenomena that went on until Hugh scoffed, laughing at his own thoughts, and looked at Adrian, saying:

“When your mother was pregnant, her baby bump remained hidden for quite some months; she only had a small bulge in her lower stomach…and we would always tease her about it saying that was just her abs..” He laughed. “…which would make her mad, of course. Georgia was such a mom. I feel like she really wanted to have a child, despite having acted as mom towards all of us…and she wanted to have a pretty baby bump, because she wanted to remind herself you were there….that, and cute maternity clothes, I guess.”

In response to the sudden comedy break, Adrian snorted, adjusting his glasses again.

“We can’t judge her.” He told Hugh. “We’ll never be pregnant, but we gotta admit maternity clothes are cool.”

“Oh, they were cool. And pretty expensive also. Geez, Adrian, thanks for forcing us into involuntary fasting.”

“Dad!” Adrian chuckled, punching him in the ribs, despite knowing Hugh hadn’t felt anything.

Hugh laughed with him, but his laugh, suddenly, became inexistent, and Hugh scratched his own chin, staring at the headstone. Smiling at it, and probably waiting for something that would not happen.

So he decided to speak again, although his voice sounded more hesitant, and the most…insecure Adrian had ever perceived it.

“Your dad was going crazy.”

Adrian already knew that, even if nobody had told him.

“…but I told him to calm down, because I just…knew you were here. It’s where I always come when things are rough.”

To that sentence, Adrian stared at his feet, but not yet pulling away from his father’s touch. He knew Mom and Hugh had been pretty close but, if he wanted to be honest, he had no idea he liked to come here to visit her.

“Adrian, you see…” Hugh didn’t stare at him either.

“Your mom was amazing. She was…one of the most amazing people I’ve ever meet, and I don’t think anyone that I happen to meet in the future will top her…she was an outstanding mom and just…the coolest best friend I could ever ask for.”

As Hugh’s body seemed to grow weak, Adrian felt the burning need to hold his hand, but it was far.

“…and I miss her every day, just like you; and your dad, and Tamaya, and Kasumi, and…” For a whole second, Hugh’s lips quivered when he came to the realization he had been this close to list Evander, before noticing he was also gone, so Adrian remained staring at him.

And Hugh stared back, his blue eyes looking vulnerable and just…

Weak.

So, so weak and tiny.

“You were her son. And she loved you more than I’ve ever seen a mother love her child…and I know how much you’re hurting, because I know Simon and I will never be able to fill the space she left…believe me, we’re not trying to replace her…but we’re doing our best to be enough.” He said.

“….and I understand your pain…and your grief and all the awful things you might feel when you realize you’ll never see her again…because, Adrian, I…” His lips quivered again, but this time Hugh didn’t mind to stop him.

However, Adrian could see he was choking and stumbling on his pride, which stood stubbornly in the way, until Hugh decided he was stronger, let go of Adrian and held his hand instead, tightly.

“…I need her too.” He said, almost relieved, as if a secret of a lifetime had slipped from his mouth.

“I need her so much, and I miss her so much…because she was...like a sister. She was my best friend and she’s gone, and I have to live without her and…Sometimes I feel so lost…and I just know...” As tears streamed down his face, Hugh sniffed and looked away.

“…I just know she would’ve known what to do; she would’ve known how to stop this world from falling apart… and if she were here, Evander would’ve met his baby.” Hugh stared at him again, hiccupping.

“And you look so much like her, Adrian. And I miss her so much.”

Unable to see through the fog in his glasses, Adrian removed them, as his own chest went up and down, and he barely had time to process this was the second time he had seen Hugh cry.

“I miss her too.”

And as they wrapped their arms around the other, they mourned Adrian’s mother in the most peacefully painful way possible, just the two of them, in a mausoleum full of flowers, in front of her headstone, coming to the realization that they were damaged; far too damaged, but since they were still sane enough to admit it, it wasn’t too late for them to get help; maybe they would get help, and things would finally get better when they escaped the stunted grief and all the pain Mom had left behind.

He hugged Hugh tightly as he could, feeling as if this was the first time he had ever hugged him, or hold him close.

And he felt something.

Through the dread and the pain, Adrian felt as Mom let go of his hand, leaving a cold emptiness on his wrist, which later turned into warmth due to his own temperature, and Hugh’s hold.

“Simon and you are enough.” Adrian sobbed.

“You’ll forever be enough, and I’ll never be able to put into words how much I love you.”

He meant it. Because, again, Adrian felt safe right there where he was; he felt safe in Hugh’s arms, just like he felt in Simon’s… but there were some things that needed some talking.

Things that needed some type of resolution.

Things that were awful.

Things that were broken.

Things that were shattered.

But when the world crumbled down, as long as people had the willingness to do it, it wasn’t too late to build it again.

And, after all, the first step into fixing something, was accepting the fact it was broken.

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