#and my fault :/
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things are bad. send post
#i am not feeling well enough to articulate the issue#and it's shameful and complicated#and my fault#send me your silliest memes or most esoteric hyperfication rants or most self indulgent OCs if you want?#(oh god asking for help when the shit is your fault feels so Wrong.)#(but yes. necessary.)#tomorrow will be better probably?
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if i had a nickel for every time Viktor died i would have 2 nickels... WHICH IS WAY MORE THAN I'D LIKE PLEASE STOP KILLING HIM
#arcane#arcane spoilers#viktor arcane#let my boy live challenge#jayce arcane#this is all your fault#jayvik
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cashier: ok that'll be $20
me (visibly sweating): ah, yes, of course! a perfectly reasonable price for a grilled cheese and a small smoothie! that was exactly the price i expected you to say when i ordered a single grilled cheese and a smoothie and my vision is NOT getting blurry as we speak! i am a perfectly normal temperature and my speech patterns are natural and even because this is the countenance of an individual who expected to pay 20 american dollars for a single grilled cheese and a smoothie!
cashier: where's all that blood coming from
#this is my fault moving to la#if anyone tells me to just bring food from home and stop eating out i KNOW#i'm BAD ABOUT THAT but i'm TRYING
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can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024
#ramble#if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands#you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things#some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible#the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think#i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex#this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!!#how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about#yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian#you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate
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oh.
#this is my text post tag#its fine. when that happened to me i got blamed. and told you cant let them do that#as if i had a choice#man#im not doing well rn#my suffering is always okay. allowed. supposed to happenm#and my fault
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
#mental health#mental health support#positivity#if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it#i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive#unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better
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lighthearted.
if this comic resonated with you, please consider donating to this palestinian escape fund (vetted by @/nabulsi and @/el-shab-hussein) as it is less than $7,000 away from it's goal.
i turn 24 today. To celebrate, I made this comic to be a spiritual successor to lead balloon, a comic in which I talked about the darkest period of my life so far.
A lot has changed since my 23rd birthday and this one. My priorities have shifted a lot, in ways that I think are mostly good. But i think the best part about today is that suicide has gone back to being a far away notion. I'm really lucky, and I'm grateful for that.
#yet another largely personal comic that kind of only has real impact to maybe four people#it's crazy what a difference a few months makes#and a trip to the beach that makes you glad you're still alive.#the last page is just me drawing my friends and I as our respective art sonas#credit to my best friend for inventing the designs#i keep copying their shit but its their fault for always having good ideas#ugghhh i love the people in my life so much and im so thankful for them#one of my friends gave me a vintage camera for my birthday#im going to take so many photos i could paper my walls with them#thank you for reading#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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headcanon that percy stays ready to clock the minotaur. this man would pause his lunch break to give this bull it's horn a third time. this man would dehydrate for two days if it meant he could murk this bull at the end of it. this man's beef with this walking beef is so grandeur. it was the first monster he killed the moment the battle of mamhattan began. this is one of percy's consistent bloodlust moments and no one will ever fault him for it.
#“oh my gods it's the minotaur what are we gonna do—IS THAT PERCY STABBING THE MINOTAUR WITH ITS OWN HORN?”#deadass nobody would fault percy for this life long mission to kill the minotaur#percy is essentially the grim repear for this monster#annabeth may not want to him to forego all morals in battle#but she will not stop fault him for having it out for that bull#i'm telling you#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo text post#pjo#pjo headcanon#percy jackson#percy jackson headcanon#percy jackson bloodlust#you cant change my mind
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My sister and I have the same birthday and it’s cool because people will be like, “Oh, are you twins?” And I get to say, “No! I ruined a five year old’s birthday.”
#actually she was really excited that I was her birthday present#also I was two week overdue so it’s my own fault
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spins him around trying to understand the pink mop he calls hair
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#itadori yuuji#yuuji#jjk#fanart#jjk fanart#yuuji itadori#sukuna#if u squint lmao#he is THE boy of all time i love him so very much#in my desperate attempts to make his hair look consistent i appear to have made it . wavy..#its not my fault i couldnt help it i was desperate i needed something other than spIKES#so i made a main swoopy bit to centre myself#lisen ok liSTEN if it works it works and this is my ref sheet now @ future me ur welcome :3#this was helpful but at the same time it certainly reinforced my hatred for Short Hair Back View#improvement hell . but it will get better . (coping)#every1 pick a favourite i lov the middle one . best front facing bust ive done in a minute <3
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Toothpaste companies must really hate people who are allergic to mint toothpaste, which a lot of people are! Apparently it's NOT supposed to burn like minty hellfire? (I'm fine with mint candy, it's only mint toothpaste that hurts)
I've been using Tom's fennel for years, but am now trying to find one with fluoride in it, and finding a toothpaste that is no mint and yes fluoride should not be such a huge and infuriating quest. still got some more grocery stores to search, but not even the children's toothpaste in the nearest one had any that were suitable.
Edit: Hey you don't need to keep copying out the tags, I wrote all the Minty Hellfire lyrics here. And then someone recorded them here.
Also, I think it might technically be a sensitivity rather than an allergy, but whatever it is, toothpaste is not supposed to hurt! If it's burning then that's bad and you should try to find a new one if possible!
#LIKE FIIIIRE! HELLFIIIIIRE! THIS FIRE ON MY TONGUE!#I therefooooore requiiiire a new paste tooooo cleeaaan gums#It's not my fault! I'm not to blame! it is the Colgate brand and Crest who've set this flame!#it's not my fault‚ if in their plans‚ they made the toothpaste so much stronger than a maaaaaaannnnnn#protect me‚ oh grocers! don't let the menthol touch my lips‚ don't let its fire sear my mouth and gums!#PROVIDE ME WITH FLUORIDE‚ but not mixed with the fires of Hell‚ and I'll keep all my teeth for years to cooooommeeee#HELLFIRE#MINT FIRE#IS ALL THAT I CAN FIND!#I may be! requiired! to order paaaaste oooonline!
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The books reveal that Ford is actually a secret partier
(Available as a print on my Etsy Shop)
(wips under cut)
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#the book of bill#billford#journal 3#stanford pines#bill cipher#jheselbraum the unswerving#gravity falls fanart#digital art#my art#procreate#RAHH MY LOVE FOR MAKING MIDCENTURY-STYLE ART AT TIMES CAME IN SUPER HANDY#I think I surprised myself here 😳#(also don’t take this as shipping him and Jhes 😭💀 that’s his space fish mom 😁)#in the book of bill. obviously he and bill get drunk that time#and then in the 3rd journal#it says that after Jhes told him he had the face of the man who would defeat bill (meaning stanley lmao)#he ‘was so excited’ that he and Jhes ‘spent the entire night partying and drinking cosmic sand’#it’s funny bc Jhes is described as speaking with a steely resolve and is very calm#so it’s silly to me to picture her partying haha#I might make this one a print as well bc I really love how it looks#I’ll print it out tomorrow and decide if it’ll work well enough :) if it does I’ll put it on my shop#😭 the bill…his thumb is backwards BUT THATS NOT MY FAULT THATS LITERALLY HOW IT IS IN THE BOOK OF BILL PAGE THAT I REFERENCEDTHIS FROM WAHH#he can do whatever he wants ig
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i lied. here's a bonus.
#artwork#wd gaster#gaster#undertale#deltarune#i had to compensate for the awful shape of his head in the other one#it's surprisingly difficult to draw him looking down#the way the whiteboard functions doesn't help#oh my. look theres a sweet gentleman on the screen#dont mind him - just getting done with morning rituals#there is one thing missing though (it's a kiss)#(give him a good morning kiss)#listen its your fault for smooching the old man because it became part of the routine and now it's mandatory#he will be extra sluggish otherwise
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wild life
#sorry its so gem + tuff guys + bamboozlers focused#its my fault#i like them too much#trafficblr#wild life#wlsmp#geminitay#grian#skizzleman#mumbo jumbo#goodtimeswithscar#jimmy solidarity#martyn inthelittlewood#bigbst4tz2#ethoslab#tangotek#bdoubleo100#ldshadowlady#pearlescentmoon#life series smp#wild life spoilers#like not really but they are. to me#traffic text posts
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Being a “Fun Fact !” kind of autistic is all fun and games until you get halfway through sharing an interesting tidbit and realize that it probably wasn’t appropriate to share in polite company and now you have to deal with the consequences :(
#autism#neurodivergent#adhd#fun facts#GOD I’m such an idiot#anyways now a 10 year old is out there looking up swear words online and it’s all my fault :(#I got so excited by the fact that I knew a fun fact#that I didn’t stop to think that maybe not everyone knows that fun fact for a reason :(#it’s like explaining how to successfully bury a body at a book club#or explaining the dangers of Scientology to your sister’s boyfriend the first time you meet him#or debating gay sex positions with your best friend in front of your mom#no matter how much I wish to be a beacon of knowledge in this world#sometimes there are things others just don’t want to know#and consciously that’s valid but the autism ? I does not care
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it's very important to understand how a personality disorder diagnosis functions in the psychiatric system, even if you identify with the diagnosis or find it useful.
personality disorders on your medical record will be used to discredit anything you say or do. they indicate "don't bother listening to this person; apply treatment regardless of their wishes but also they're probably manipulating/attention-seeking so maybe don't bother treating them". needing support becomes attention-seeking. behaviors that would be treated + supported in someone without this diagnosis are ignored or treated as manipulative. providers are instructed to "withdraw warmth" (a real thing in the DBT provider's manual, btw) in response to self-injury or suicidal ideation.
if you have been dx'd with a personality disorder professionally, you likely understand this.
now, here's the important part: this is not an issue of 'stigma' against a politically neutral, pre-discursive True Disease which is being Unfairly Maligned. these diagnoses were formulated based on the idea that some patients cannot be trusted, that some patients seek care too much. they are applied to patient charts as a justification for withdrawing care or as a dismissal of someone "not getting better" fast enough. in the uk, they are often employed by the nhs to shame or problematize people who use large amounts of nhs resources, arguing that receiving a lot of care through the nhs is a negative behavior stemming from a disordered personality.
there are elements of personality disorders which resonate strongly with many people, including myself, but you need to be clear-eyed about the origins + functions of this diagnosis. as a whole, they were created + function as ways to discredit + mistreat noncompliant or "difficult" patients. 'reclaiming' them is not going to change how they function systematically- it is going to make it easier to engage in this systematic neglect by evoking 'ableism' or 'stigma!' when people question the utility or application of the diagnosis.
#psychiatric abolition#before ppl come for my throat#know that i was prof dx'd with bpd + ocpd + both of those dx's were used to neglect + abuse me#but the doctors kindly reminded me not to Stigmatize Myself :) it's Okay To Have Noncompliant Brat Disease Charlie <3#but anyway we will be withdrawing care + writing about u being manipulative for advocating for yourself#but that's Not Your Fault :) You Have A Disease#these were doctors at some of the best hospitals in the country so do with that what u will#not to mention the pathologization of trauma inherent to this but anywayyy#this post brought to you by buy one get one free monster energy
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