#and my attachment issues are horrible. even if i treat my friends kindly i still end up ghosting after a few years

[stinkrascal]

there was that time a few weeks ago where everyone on my dashboard was reblogging posts that were like “maybe you’d have some friends if you weren’t so fucking mean. the reason you don’t have any friends is because you’re just an asshole” and like yea to an extent i believe that is something that can happen but i think it’s really reductionist to claim that’s the only reason people don’t have friends in the year 2022 two years after a global pandemic forced millions of people inside lest they risk the safety of their health is because theyre mean, and this isnt even taking into consideration that disabled/chronically ill people who are homebound existed before covid did. the internet has made theoretically connecting with others and with communities a lot easier but with that its also killed our offline communities, nobody just goes outside and talks to their neighbors anymore, i mean i sure as hell dont, do any of you? most people in america live paycheck to paycheck, so they cant afford to go out to places where theyd meet new people and even if they could, most of them are working so many hours that they dont have the energy to go somewhere after work, and that limits their viable pool of friendships to their coworkers, who are stuck in the same position as they are. im not saying that post is wrong or even indicative of anything more important than, like, what op was feeling at the time that they wrote it, im just saying in a broader sense theres more to why our generation of people is as lonely as it is, so it just kinda annoys me to see the idea reinforced that it is your fault alone if you are friendless whenever there are so many systemic things working against your pursuit to have and maintain quality friendships. what i am trying to say is that capitalism ruins everything

[crystalkleure]

Haha hey remember that post I made awhile back, speculating on what a bad idea it might be to fuse dead things in the godless Frankenstein fossil machine

Meet White. He is a reanimated corpse. Two of them, actually. Or more like 1.5. [And I whipped up this half-assed partial reference sheet in one night instead of sleeping, so don’t look too hard at the chickenscratch lineart and visible guidelines, and kindly ignore the total lack of shading as well as any other messy jankiness.]

White is a product of me wondering not only about what happens if you NecroFuse a human with a Pokemon, but also what happens if you make it even worse and specifically fuse that human with a Pokemon capable of mega evolution. Because canon seems to imply that mega evolving is at best deeply uncomfortable -- and at worst outright agonizing -- for whatever creature is going through it.

Character Lore under the cut. Lots of text:

White is one of actually multiple undead guys who got mashed together with bits of dead Pokemon. They’re science experiments, so they've got the dex numbers of the Pokemon they're spliced with tattooed on the backs of their necks, and those numbers were treated as their names In The Evil Science Lab.

In his Original Life, White [and some of his buddies] got gored to death by some escaped Horrible Fucking Monsters that were accidentally [...and then not-so-accidentally] created via Two Pokemon At Once In A Fossil Resurrection Machine, because hey, it is SUPER easy to think you got Just One Thing's Bones from an excavation dig but then later you realize that Some Of Those Bones were from something TOTALLY different that just died in the same place. It happens. So, some Fossil Scientist People accidentally resurrected an Abomination, realized they fucked up pretty fast...and then started wondering if they REALLY fucked up or if this is Cool, Actually. And then the team of Science People split into two Morality Factions, with one half being like “This is unethical as shit, we need to make sure this doesn't happen again because it's not natural so who knows how this poor fucked up creature is suffering” and the other, cooler half being like “WE NEED TO DO THIS AGAIN RIGHT NOW BECAUSE SCIENCE. IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES HOLY SHIT.”

Cooler group splits off from the Horrified Group With Morals, and they promptly use their Science Knowledge to Construct More Machines and Make More Monsters. Doesn't take too long for them to realize, however, that Abomination Pokemon are stupidly hard to control, because not only are they suffering, their masters obviously don't care for their wellbeing, so Revolt Inevitably Occurs and they escape to wreak havoc upon the nearest congregation of townspeople. They promptly maul some people to death at a nearby local rock concert, scientists chase after them to clean up the mess, realize “Oh Shit, Manslaughter Charges Impending”, and then realize...

Science Guy 1: “...Hey, what happens if you put a dead person in the fossil machine?”

Science Guy 2: “Hey, people probably listen better than Pokemon. We can, like, TALK to people.”

Science Guy 3: “Lads, I got a stellar idea just now. And we got plenty of Dead Guys to start with right here! Great way to hide the bodies too, probably.”

This goes approximately as well as you would expect, and precisely as ethically. A smashing success!

However, because they Fucking Died, the reanimated Newly-Monsterized dudes do not remember shit about who they were pre-resurrection. They're not technically even the same people, they’re more like clones. They've been remade. So, all they know now is Science Lab Life, and they have no initial attachment to eachother aside from "that other guy is also a Science Experiment Person just like me, so Same Hat @ Labrat Neighbour ig", in spite of several having been friends or even family prior to death. They also just...don’t know/remember things in general. They are fresh blank slates. And to a morally-bankrupt team of scientists, that’s perfect! They can train these guys to behave however they please!

...However, people might be People Instead Of Animals, meaning they can be Reasoned With And Manipulated And Coerced far better than animals due to their far better communication abilities with the Science People, but...there is Still A Problem in the sense that Holy Shit, A Person Can Only Take So Much. You can only treat someone as "Experiment [number]" for so long, blatantly putting no value on their life outside of The Value Of Scientific Research, in spite of literally basically needing to raise them like a normal child due to the Lack Of Memories issue. Eventually they're not gonna be able to take that anymore and they are gonna Fucking Leave, too. And they’re gonna be much harder to track down than the rampaging Pokemon were. Impossible, actually, once they’ve ripped out their tracking chips.

So then there's just these monster dudes, who don't actually know what they are because they weren't ever told anything more than necessary to get them to cooperate with Tests And Experiments, just Escaped Into Civilization and having NO idea how Anything works. Fun! Especially considering how, at first glance, these just look like Normal Dudes. Their monster bits either aren't apparent or just look like funky body modifications.

They've also got Science Things in them and they Don't Know What The Fuck Those Things Even Are. They've just got these little Devices in/on their chests, and they were never informed of the exact functions of them because there's no reason to explain to the experiment What Is Happening, just that the experiment needs to Hold Still and Cooperate and Now Do This, Now Do This, Now Do That, Good Job That's Enough For Today, etc.

Those devices contain both key stones and mega stones.

If you were a Mad Pokemon Scientist, you would most certainly be interested in the mega evolution phenomenon. What would YOU do if some of your Undead Fusion Experiments happened to be spliced with bits of Pokemon known to be capable of mega evolving? You’d kill two birds with one enigmatic set of stones, that’s what you’d do. Your Frankenstein Experiments can even TALK to you and tell you exactly what they are experiencing when you run tests on them! It’s perfect!

So, if a rock-bearing monster’s heart rate goes too high, part of the little device, which is a barrier between one type of rock and the other, opens up and Exposes One Rock To The Other Rock. Which exposes the monster to the Rock Energy Reaction. The greater the stress, the higher the dose. And I’m sure you can see the snowball effect that’s gonna create, at least the first time or two.

They were INTENDED to eventually be made to Physically Fight With Eachother to gauge the effects of The Rocks™️ when the Guys With The Rocks are under Stress and need to Do Some Self-Defense. The Science Squad was basically trying to suss out the Actual Purpose of mega evolution. Because mega evolution is weird -- it puts ENORMOUS stress on the body of whatever is undergoing it, so the hypothesis was that its true power is probably drawn out best via a perceived life-threatening situation, like it’s a type of hysterical strength, because what else would cause a need for that kind of ability. And aren’t ethics a bit overrated?

So, there’s our premise. White is just wandering around without any particular purpose outside of never ever going back to Science Hell, and he has no clue what the funny little doohickey buried in his chest does until it activates one day and absolutely fucks him up [...as well as everyone around him. Mega Absol radiate an Aura Of Sheer Terror that can literally scare people with weak hearts to death if they’re not careful.]

And now, some Miscellaneous Character Info:

The bit about Lots Of Death happening at a rock concert specifically was important. White was actually the vocalist of the band that was playing. He doesn’t remember that now, but he still loves music and has the same strong vocal cords. And THAT is important because White is partially an Absol now and Absol naturally learns Perish Song. These Fusion Monsters are absolutely capable of using Pokemon moves, though whether they’re aware of this is a different matter entirely. Imagine what happens when they end up tapping into those abilities accidentally.

That band was a relatively-unknown little local band. White was by no means anywhere near famous. Very few people even realized he was gone, and most of the ones who would have noticed also ended up Equally Unalive.

That black stuff between the belts on White’s arms is mesh. Like, stocking mesh. It gets Ripped The Fuck Apart when he goes Mega Mode and his arm fur gets Extra Spiky. Hence one stocking being a bit tattered in that reference pic. He frequently has to replace those things, they are fragile.

“How did White get his name if he doesn’t remember his original name and didn’t have a real name in the lab” I am glad you asked! Post-escape, he eventually encountered a situation where someone asked him what his name was, he bluntly told them “I don’t have one. I am #359.”, they said “Well That Is Not A Name, I need something proper to call you”, and he was just...Super Apathetic. So, the other person picked out the name “White” just based on the fact that White’s hair is white, and he just shrugged and rolled with it.

As you can see in my Incredibly Quick And Rough Sketches, the backs of White’s shirts are open to accommodate that huge amount of fur that bristles out into false wings when he goes Mega Mode. Because his Actual Normal Hair is relatively long and overlaps with that fur, it blends in with his Actual Normal Hair and doesn’t look too odd [when it’s down]. Probably mostly because nobody’s expecting it to be anything OTHER than Perfectly Normal Hair That Just Happens To Be Very Long.

White does not particularly like violence. White does not want to beat you up. He will, though, without a bit of hesitation, if there’s some logical reason he feels like it’s the most practical course of action. Being essentially raised by Cold, Emotionally-Sterile Scientists With No Care For The Wellbeing Other Living Beings uh, tends to affect a guy a little bit. White has a bit of an internal dilemma regarding “It would be efficient for me to just Harm This Other Person to defuse the current situation, because attempting nonviolence will be overall more risky somehow” vs. “Holy shit it feels bad when I hurt people. Why does it feel bad when I hurt people. Is it...SUPPOSED to feel bad when I hurt people?? No one ever felt bad for hurting me.” He Figures Out How Empathy Works Eventually. He is a good guy at heart. He is a Monotone Snarker, but not actually Cold or Malicious at all.

If an Absol can do it, White can probably do it. He has incredibly keen senses and a STRONG ability to Detect Impending Doom. He has exactly the amount of Supernatural Absol Powers you would expect. He is also stupidly physically strong, way more so than he appears to be.

White can’t punch people. Look at the fist he’s making in the pic, he’s doing it wrong. If you punch someone like that, you WILL break your own thumb. That’s not a Revving Up To Sock Someone pose, he’s just tense. He’s using his thumb as a buffer between his long-ass Sharp As Fuck claws and the flesh of his palm. If White tries to punch anybody, or just makes a proper fist at all, he will impale his own hand on his nails. Like, all the way through. He CAN slash straight through things like metal and bone with those claws, though.

White...is unsettling. Completely accidentally, and unknowingly. He just radiates an Aura Of Intimidation [...or Pressure], even when not in Mega Mode, that scales depending on his mood. Just being near him tends to put people and Pokemon on edge. Thus, he’s generally avoided.

The latter point is especially unfortunate, because White’s preferred method of Socializing and Bonding is to just kind of quietly hang out in the same room as whoever he is trying to Socialize and Bond with. He just wants to, like...chill out Near A Buddy and watch a movie and share a bag of chips or something. His social skills are predictably not good.

[xxtha-blog]

Dream and a Life of Loneliness

A rarely, if ever talked about internal struggle of canon Dream is his undeniable battle against loneliness. Dream's canon shows strong evidence of an ongoing, and near impossible to escape battle with isolation and loneliness, that Dream struggles against throughout the timeline of his character.

Some may wonder how it's possible for Dream to be lonely. He's shown to have almost everyone like him, he travels around from universe to universe, meeting new people and making friends, while also constantly helping people. Surely, Dream is anything but lonely. But loneliness is not defined by the number of people one meets or the number of people that adore oneself, it has rather been shown that loneliness is most commonly attributed to a person's ability to have meaningful and strong connections to people. People they can trust with their deepest secrets or emotions. People who have a few very strong and trustworthy friends are less lonely than those who have many friends, but none they share strong emotional bonds with. This is the key to understanding Dream's never ending struggle with loneliness, as his inability to form complete trustworthy bonds with people is tied intrinsically to the role he was assigned to be: the protector of positivity. In this essay, I’ll explain every aspect of his canon that contributes to his extreme loneliness.

First, we must go back before the apple incident, to when Dream was a child. There, it is a canon fact that during this time, Dream only had two trustworthy people in his life: his brother, and a cat name Neil. Neil lived as an outcast to the village, and was very cold to Dream at first, but they became very good friends, actual friends. The first true friends either of them had ever had. It was stated Neil was the only person Dream could actually talk to, as the villagers treated him like nothing more than a vessel of positivity meant to help them with whatever they wanted, and Dream did not want to upset or worry Nightmare. Before Dream had met Neil, he had been alone in his struggles. The villagers overwhelmed him and treated him like a machine, there to do their bidding, and his altruistic nature and belief he was meant to make people happy, made him continue to help them. Even so, he would run away from the village to cry away his feelings without anyone noticing he was upset, and without anyone noticing he was struggling. He had to, after all keep on a happy smile for everyone else. These early behaviours are important to understanding how Dream handles his powers and emotion later in life, as his powers and trauma exasperate these issues to an extreme degree. 

Trauma

The inciting incident of the true depths of Dream's loneliness is unsurprisingly the day Nightmare corrupts. It is on that day Dream loses his brother, his mother, his home, his chance at seeing his best friend ever again, and gains powers that will cause him never-ending struggles for the rest of his life. He is trapped in stone, unable to move, barely conscious, but not entirely unaware. He is trapped in a prison of fear and hatred, completely isolated from the world, while only still connected to it by the haunting feelings of emotions all around him, emotions he can now feel radiating off of every being nearby. He's unable to help them, and no one's successfully able to help him. He is truly, and utterly, alone. 

When he finally breaks free, Dream is at first very overwhelmed by the prospects of what his life has become. He's finally able to fully face the fact that everything and everyone he has ever known is gone, his brother is out to kill him, and he is now carrying the responsibility of keeping emotions in balance for the multiverse. He's uncertain of how to handle the intense negativity overwhelming him, wondering if he is incapable of accomplishing what he's supposed to, wondering if he's inadequate. However, Dream has also spent hundreds of years completely unable to help those around him, while feeling  them suffer horribly, and he blames himself for what happened despite never doing anything wrong. Dream is trained by Lanny (the protector of the tree of magic), before heading into the multiverse, but never develops a strong friendship with her, as she resents him for the fate of his mother. Thus, Dream is left with a horrible amount of conflicting emotions and thoughts inside him, with no one to tell them to, so he puts on a smile, like he always has, in the hopes it might make someone, anyone a little happier. This is a situation that only worsens as he heads into the multiverse. 

Dream's Powers

The two powers that play heavily into Dream's continued loneliness are his empathy and his positive aura. Dream is already someone who puts the desires and worries of others well before himself, but Dream's empathy gives him the ability to feel other people's emotions, allowing him to feel almost every hint of negativity or positivity they do. While this is an added weight to his existing emotions, it also means that if Dream vents his struggles to someone, or breaks down in front of people, he runs the risk of making someone severely upset or hopeless. Imagine, the embodiment of positivity, breaking down into tears and confessing he feels empty and lonely and scared. That he doesn't believe he can do this. While a few people would support him and try to help him, I believe a vast majority, even those genuinely wishing to help, would feel a sense of: 'if the embodiment of positivity can't be happy, then how can I?' or may simply feel negative by seeing Dream so upset. Because of Dream's empathy, this means, should he do such a thing, not only is he making someone upset, which is something he never wants to do, but he's also able to feel that negativity reflected straight back at him, and will only end up feeling worse. It's a direct feedback loop of: 'if I express my true feelings, I not only feel worse from making someone else feel negative, but am a bad person for doing so, as my only purpose in life is to help others and make them happy. I am selfish for putting my own emotions ahead of that purpose'. Instead of trying to find people he can share his feelings with, Dream actively tries to downplay any negative emotions he has, putting on a smile, and claiming it's nothing. 

His second power, his positive aura, arguably does something even worse, as the empathy is something that can be worked past, but his positive aura is a constant creator of paranoia for Dream and his ability to make new friends. Dream's positive aura is simple enough. People close to Dream feel positive emotions due to the energy he radiates. This, while looking harmless enough on the surface, creates many problems for Dream that are completely out of his control. The first is people's tendency to mistake his aura for feelings of love. If you stood by someone and suddenly felt positive, it's not hard to understand why some people may mistake that for love, despite not genuinely being in it. For very negative or possessive people, they could become overly attached to that feeling, or even addicted, and when Dream has to leave, become negative and potentially violent. Dream's aura creates a barrier between Dream's ability to form genuine connections with people, as he's always worried people he befriends will become too attached to that feeling, or mistake it for falling in love with him, when in reality, they've only fallen dependent on his power. Dream is consciously aware this problem exists, and actively distances himself from people because of it. The second problem created by Dream's aura is its reaffirmation that Dream is only a being of positivity, meant to make people positive. He fooled half the fandom into thinking it simply by keeping on a smile, imagine the subconscious assumptions people would make when met with an aura of positivity, radiating off a visibly happy person, who is said to be the embodiment of such. They would likely assume he cannot feel negativity, he cannot understand their problems, and/or that he is there as a tool to make people positive, all of which, reaffirms to Dream and others, that he is only meant to help people, and his problems are not important. While he has the ability to tell them, 'yes I do feel negativity', or ' I'm an empath and can feel everyone's negativity', etc, doing so has the risk of making people upset, concerned, or overall negative, giving him a strong reason not to. All of this, with the addition of his complete loss of all support, and his trauma connected to the inability to properly help people, Dream is in a place of complete isolation and grief, with new powers that severely inhibit him from forming new genuine connections with people, and trauma that makes him suppress everything he feels down so he can continue to help people lest something like the apple incident ever occur again.

Outside of his AU, Dream does not meet many true friends, or anyone he can truly trust. It's canon that he and Ink experience a falling out due to Dream's desire to help AUs, and Ink's insistence allowing timelines to play out so stories can happen without interference. The people he does meet, and does help within the AUs, even those who treat him kindly, are quickly left behind as he goes to the next one. Nightmare is out to hurt him in any way he can, and any person Dream began to visit frequently could be at risk of being attacked, or tortured by Nightmare. Friends could also be used as leverage against Dream to try and gain the apple, making Dream extremely hesitant to connect fully with anyone.

Truly, Dream is stuck in a deep place of pure and utter isolation and loneliness, with his trauma, powers, and experiences constantly keeping him from connecting with people on a genuine level, or ever being able to truly express the true depths of his negativity. Nevertheless, Dream continues to put on a smile, and continues forward, pretending he was never lonely in the first place, and so, he continues to be completely alone, against the world and his own struggles, until he can find a way to open up and trust again.

[machihunnicutt]

What the Downton Movie Owes Me (but will probably not give me): Some Thoughts on Thomas Barrow

yes...I wrote 1k+ words on this. I’m so sorry.

I’m watching Downton Abbey for the 3rd (4th?) time with my sister who hasn’t seen it. I love this glorified soap opera to death, y’all, with the full acknowledgment that this show does a horrible job with a lot of its plot lines designed to tackle complicated issues: disability (the ableism against Bates via the house that he never gets apologies for, Matthew and his spinal injury/wheelchair that is always framed as life-ending and making him nothing but a “burden”), class (the Branson/Sybil marriage is alright, but there are countless missed opportunities to interrogate the relationship between upstairs and downstairs, particularly Carson’s attachment to a family that monopolizes his life and the lives of all its employees), (I’m going to leave race and gender alone because I think it does a pretty decent job when these issues come into play but feel free to lmk if there’s something I missed!), and sexuality, which is what I want to get into.

So granted, I understand that I’m not the target audience for this show. I understand that Downton’s gay characters were not written primarily to be relatable, multifaceted representations of gay people in a period drama. I get that Downton’s target audience is older, straight people for which representation isn’t super important. But, I have watched this show at least 3 times now and I’m still angry about its treatment of Thomas Barrow, so I’m going to break down why:

1) Things We Know About Thomas Barrow

I really like early seasons of Downton because, for all its drawn out drama and plot twists, it cares a lot about character development and consistency. Many characters (dare I say the majority) do mean and bad things and yet, we are still empathetic because we’ve spent time with them, understand why they make the choices they do, and see them learn from their mistakes (early seasons Mary is an excellent example.)

Thomas Barrow is my favorite Downton character because of the great narrative work they do in this regard. In the first episode we learn several character traits of his that continue to be important throughout his arcs:

- He doesn’t trust easily and has few friends in the house. (AKA, boy’s got a bad attitude. It’s better to act like you hate everyone than give them the chance to reject you.) I found this immediately endearing (because of who I am I guess lol), and though I understand why people don’t like his character because of this, I think it’s a good move for a character you intend to have grow over a long period of time. Opening up, accepting help from others, and showing kindness are all parts of Thomas’ future storylines, actions that show his slow growth from this facet of his character. I also think it’s important to note that when Thomas does make friends he is loyal to them (I’m excepting O’Brien from this category given there’s so much backstabbing between them that it’s a stretch to call them friends) and will take risks to protect them (Examples: befriending Lt. Courtenay and later fighting Dr. Clarkson to keep him at the hospital; befriending Lady Sybil and speaking kindly about her when he doesn’t have nice things to say about anyone else upstairs, later earnestly mourning her death in a show of vulnerability he generally masks; befriending Jimmy and looking out for him when he gets drunk at the fair, going as far to get beaten up to save Jimmy; befriending Andy and helping him learn to read; befriending the kids of the house and saving them from that one nasty nanny who was mistreating them.)

- He’s a romantic. The man wants to be loved and jfc I wish the show gave him a good love interest.

- He’s easily manipulated. (More on this later, but for now...) The Duke plays him, and it’s cruel, but it shows how easily Thomas can be tricked when he’s offered affection and the chance to leave Downton for something better. (Also note: from day one, he’s wanted to leave Downton!)

- He’s the evil gay trope. The gay villain trope has a long and complicated history and sure, you can say Thomas’s sexuality and role as an antagonist aren’t connected, but the show doesn’t exist in a vacuum and it feeds into a long history of villainizing LGBT and LGBT coded characters. The thing I hate most is that they get really close to subverting it in Thomas’ best moments (his work in the hospital during the war, his relationship with the kids, his gradual opening up to people in the house) but alas...

2) Why I Hate The Jimmy Kent Arc More Than Anything

Okay, so it makes sense for Thomas to be manipulated by O’Brien. That’s consistent with his character and I don’t fault the show for melodrama because that’s what it does. What I hate, is that the show depicts Thomas’ attraction to Jimmy as predatory and when he is punished for trying to kiss Jimmy while he’s asleep (which is assault) the house (and I’d argue, the show) frames this as bad only because Thomas is gay and Jimmy is not. In the show’s narrative Jimmy is mad because he’s homophobic, not because he’s been violated. And his and Jimmy’s ensuing friendship would be genuinely sweet if it really was just an issue of homophobia and not one of ASSAULT!

I’d argue, you can’t have it both ways. You can’t portray Thomas as predatory and then brush it aside to make a statement about tolerance, because assaulting people is bad regardless of the sexuality of the perpetrator. You either need to punish his actions for what they are or get better at story telling and not rely on the predatory gay stereotype.

But, secondarily, I’m bothered by this arc because it doesn’t seem in character, to me. I know Thomas does a lot of bad, stupid things, but I don’t think it makes sense for him to be predatory. In his best moments he is protective, romantic, and loyal. Yes, we see him as rash and naive, but his actions never felt right for the character, to me. I just think it’s lazy writing to handle his attraction to Jimmy this way, especially given the development of their friendship afterward. It would’ve been so much more satisfying and narratively interesting for Thomas to express his feelings for Jimmy in a respectful way. Jimmy is the only character we see Thomas have genuine feelings for (not motivated by upward mobility as in the case of the Duke or I guess(?) racial stereotyping in the case of Kemal Pamuk...but lbr his pass at him was mostly a plot device) and I think the arc would’ve been so much more fulfilling if we saw it as Thomas’ attempt to love someone fully and honestly, even if it ultimately doesn’t work out the way he wants it to. And I don’t get why they didn’t do this! Because the Jimmy/Thomas friendship ends up being sweet, and useful for each character’s development. They just had to make it gross by beginning with an assault. Just a huge, lazy, waste of a potentially good idea.

3) The Last Season Was Bad For A Lot Of Characters But They Did Thomas Extremely Dirty

I don’t know where to start with the last season because I think they ran into so many problems because they forgot how to use great characters effectively (Mary is a prime example!!) and started just throwing them into dramatic situations for the sake of plot and not keeping actions consistent with established character.

For example, life at Downton is the roughest it has ever been for Thomas in season 6, to the point where he is alienated by most in the house (I’m not going to talk about how badly Carson treats him and how much of a tyrant Carson is in the last season because again, I think it comes down to the writers forgetting how to use their characters effectively) and attempts suicide. All in all, I just don’t like this because it’s predictable and overdone. Gay people in period pieces almost always have overwhelmingly tragic stories and it’s not fun for me to watch anymore. What most disappoints me though, is that when everyone else is getting paired off in the fan-servicey ending, Thomas’ consolation prize is being the butler??? To a house full of people who’ve hated him??? He’s wanted from the beginning to leave Downton and in the end he doesn’t.

Don’t get me wrong, if the show had shown me his change in attitude and relationship to the house, given me this character development in meaningful ways, and not used a suicide attempt as a half-assed catalyst for change, I would be all for Thomas as Downton’s butler. I think that if they’d done the work of making it a believable and constructive next step for his character, that I’d really like it. I think Thomas’ relationship with the kids (particularly George! I’d watch a whole movie about that!) is well done and I think it echos Carson’s relationship with Mary, but better. But you! have! to! do! the! work! to! get! the! audience! there! You can’t give me a whole season of Downton nastiness and Thomas suffering and then expect me to buy that this is his happy ending.

4) What I Want From This Movie

I don’t think I’ll get it (though a love interest for Thomas via the trailer is encouraging), but here’s what I want:

- Show me why Thomas Barrow as Downton butler makes sense. And if you can’t, let him leave and be happy somewhere else because he deserves it.

- Show me how he’s grown. Show me his relationship with the kids and how he’s better than Carson because I need it!!

- Let Thomas be in a relationship that is healthy and not manipulative or coercive or a plot device for drama.

- Let him be in love and don’t make it a sad story. Please.

I find Thomas Barrow such a compelling character because he isn’t perfect. He makes mistakes. He does bad things. He grows. He changes over the course of six seasons. He’s a gay character in a period drama whose story isn’t about being ashamed of who he is. It isn’t about denial or apologies or pretending he’s someone he isn’t. And I think that’s significant. I just wish they’d done a slightly better job. :)

(Thanks for reading. I’m gonna keep being a Thomas Barrow stan even when no one watching with me thinks I’m valid lol.)