#and my 20th i didn't think about it until it was too close and then i decided to just spend it alone and it was honestly great

[roaringroa]

only 2 more days of this and then i can chill and spend a few days thinking strictly about yuri manga and hay day all day long like god intended

[redtsundere-writes]

Part 16: Before Night Falls

King!SukunaRyomen x Servant!FemReader

Summary: You used to be just another servant among the army of humans operating under the command of the terrible king, Sukuna Ryomen. An ordinary human who only knows how to wash, clean and cook. Until one day, he notices something in you that you hadn't seen before.

Tags: MDNI. +18. Murder. Blood. Cannibalism. Sukuna Ryomen Is The Warning Itself. Nudity. Sexual Display. Vaginal. Fingering. Sometimes fluff, sometimes angst.

Word Count: 8415 words.

A/N: So... I have been rereading the fic, and it needs a lot of upgrading when it comes to correcting, so I'll take next week to edit the English version of this fic and then continue uploading of Friday, September 20th. Sorry for the inconveniences.

Beginning. | ← Previous | Next →

“My almighty king, I bow before you to beg you to let me leave the castle,” you asked between tears.

“What?” Sukuna, Uraume and Kenjaku answered in unison out of shock.

Sukuna heard you, but he didn't understand what the hell you were trying to tell him. You had dedicated a year of your life to serve him, just killed someone for him, and now you wanted to leave the castle? After he had given you everything to keep you happy and prevent this exact situation. 3 substantial meals a day, a giant room with a comfortable bed, beautiful dresses, fine jewelry, a broad education and a life safe from curses. You must be out of your mind. Besides the fact that you were about to become one of the most powerful women in the world, why did you want to leave now after all? The king had never been so offended in his life.

“I have two more sisters. Nanako and Mimiko. They are barely 11 years old and they are completely alone because Yorozu killed our mother,” you explained to the king with your face hidden between the curtains of your hair and his bleeding hands. “I just want to go home to make sure they are okay. You can ask Kenjaku, Uraume or some curse to escort me. I promise to return before the sun sets,” you whimpered for mercy once again.

That sharp pain kept sprouting from his chest. That strange pang was different from the others he had experienced before. His throat was closing, so he couldn't answer you immediately. He twisted his face in an attempt to regain control of his own body. He clenched his hand in frustration at not being able to correct himself to deny any request you had out of anger, but he couldn't. “What the hell is happening to me?” he thought, annoyed.

In the absence of an answer, you crawled to his feet in the most desperate attempt to convince him at all costs. The mere thought of your little sisters being there alone was eating you alive with helplessness. You were about to play any card you had available to try to convince him. The king was going to accept, whether he liked it or not. After all, it wasn’t going to be an easy task after challenging him in front of everyone, so you would do anything for an opportunity. Unable to hold his feet because of the dirt on his hands, you kissed them delicately to show him that you were still faithful to him. You closed your eyes so as not to think too much about the shame you were going through. You transported yourself to that passionate night you shared in order to relieve your strong repulsion.

The king's face went from an angry red to a deeper, shy red. His body tensed with each gentle kiss you gave him on the back of his head. Little pricks of love that erased his anger. No one had reached that level of voluntary idolatry before. He never thought he'd see you embarrass yourself like that in front of everyone just to fulfill a relatively reasonable request. 

“I'll kill as many as it takes to give me that chance, please. They're all I have left,” you whimpered, placing your forehead between his feet.

“Get up,” he ordered, annoyed.

You quickly complied as you wiped your tears with the back of your hand to avoid getting more blood on your face. You didn't look him in the eyes for fear that he would reject your request immediately, it was the last thing you wanted to hear, even though he had every right to do so after threatening him with an arrow that he himself had given you. Still, you couldn't allow yourself to lose the little hope you had. You didn't deserve him to do you that favor, much less to be alive, but you had to try.

"Let me see your hands," he asked you.

You gave them to him trembling for fear of what he would do to you next, expecting a clear punishment. Sukuna turned them over to see the state of your palms. They were completely split in half, blood gushing out every time you squeezed the surrounding skin, and you began to lose feeling. They were practically ruined, it would take months to return to normal. You wouldn't be surprised in the least if he cut them off for your terrible behavior. You looked away, not wanting to see what terrible thing he had planned for you.

“You are very brave to do something stupid like that,” Sukuna said before taking your hands to examine them, being as gentle as possible so as not to hurt you more.

You were going to answer, but something in your hand moved. The parallel wounds began to close slowly in front of your incredulous eyes. The skin folds joined with their equal as if by magic. In less than a minute, your hands had returned to normal. You opened and closed your fist in front of you to make sure you weren't hallucinating from the intense pain. “Since when can he do that?” you thought, confused.

“You did that?” You wondered, still in shock, upon learning that the killing machine was also capable of healing as well.

“It's a simple reverse curse technique,” ​​he explained. “It processes cursed energy, which is negative by nature, into positive energy. As a result, the energy that destroys, becomes the energy that creates and heals.”

“Wow…” You sighed, amazed. You didn't know that he was capable of healing people the same way he hurts them.

“Go change, you look terrible,” Sukuna ordered you before taking Yorozu's head from the ground, handing it to Uraume to take care of it and the rest of his body that continued to stain the grass of the courtyard while you talked.

“What about my request? I really need…” You asked, begging for permission to leave the castle.

“And you're going to go see your sisters in your underwear, with smeared makeup and bathed in their other sister's blood? You're going to traumatize them,” Sukuna interrupted to scold you. “I'm going to escort you. You have 20 minutes to be at the entrance before I change my mind.” He turned around to continue along the bridge towards the entrance.

“Yes, my king. I won’t take long.” You smiled widely.

Sukuna turned around to let you return to the castle, but stopped when he felt your arms around his waist. His body subtly melted as soon as you pressed him against your warmth. Your hands on his stomach caressed his second mouth softly, while your forehead connected with the middle of his spine. A brief gesture that calmed the pain in his chest, undid the lump in his throat, and relaxed his face finally. The king's mind short-circuited as he didn't know what to do in that situation. Take your hands, caress them, push you away so you would leave, kill you? There were many options, but none seemed to be the right one.

"Thank you, my king," you whispered before letting go.

Your hands moved away from him, and he returned to the cold he had already grown accustomed to after hundreds of years in solitude. Sukuna slowly turned his gaze towards you to see you running towards the castle again, lifting your bottom to avoid tripping over the fabric. That contagious emotion placed a small smile on his face. It seemed that everything had returned to normal.

"Uraume, you already know what to do with the body," Sukuna ordered them to leave with the head of his ex-sister-in-law. Seeing her finally dead also brought him great relief.

"Yes, my king," Uraume nodded before disappearing from his sight. Sukuna was about to continue on his way, but he saw Kenjaku smiling from ear to ear with no intention of hiding it.

"What?" He asked him, somewhat annoyed by his strange expression.

“It seems like you are going on a date,” Kenjaku told him as he followed the king towards the entrance.

“It is not a date,” Sukuna scolded him. “We will go check and return before sunset.”

“But do you really have to go? You have a lot of paperwork to do. You could have easily ordered me to accompany her,” Kenjaku argued.

“It will take twice as long if you escort her. Besides, I don’t trust you enough to let her leave the castle with you,” the king answered honestly.

After Kenjaku betrayed King Jogo to serve him, he didn’t trust him enough to leave his future queen in his hands without any means of survival. He had yet to figure out what Kenjaku wanted from him specifically, and it was certainly not anything good.

“So, you won’t take this opportunity to propose to her?” Kenjaku inquired curiously. Sukuna didn't even bother to answer him. "You two alone, in the middle of the open field, the sunset behind you... You would be a real fool if you didn't." Sukuna stopped in the middle of the road and glared at him. "I was just saying it would be a good idea." Kenjaku excused himself.

"Mind your damn business!" The king exploded, continuing on his way, not paying him any more attention.

Kenjaku stepped back, raising his arms in surrender when he saw that he had disturbed him. Sukuna growled under his breath before heading to their meeting point. Your tutor stepped back, covering his face with the sleeve of his long wardrobe, pretending to be terrified of the king to satisfy his intention. "Oh, young lady, you'll need all the luck in the world with a husband like this," he thought.

Your legs moved on their own to get to the castle as soon as possible, you entered to go to your room, but stopped when you saw a large obstacle in your way. Your eyes widened as you took in the small crowd that had formed to greet you. All the servants applauded you proudly for the brave battle you had fought against the common enemy. Your feelings were mixed at receiving such warmth for such a cold act. Mrs. Inoue appeared among the servants to tearfully embrace you.

“You scared me to death, miss!” Mrs. Inoue scolded you, pressing you against her body roughly, as if she didn't want to let you go.

A small smile of happiness for having survived your sister's attack appeared on your face before you returned the hug with the same intensity. Even though you were in mourning, you were pleased that you hadn't involved any innocents in your dealings with the king. Even though all the old people had less time to live, that didn't mean you could deprive them of enjoying them. You gently pushed Mrs. Inoue away. You couldn’t afford to waste any more time.

“I must change. The king is waiting for me,” You tried to excuse yourself, but one of the servants took your arm so you wouldn't leave.

“Then put this on,” she offered you one of Yorozu's dresses.

The fabric was smooth and stretchy, it had a large ribbon at the waist for easy closure, and best of all, it had pockets. You were seriously starting to consider starting to wear those instead of the dresses that were too formal for everyday wear. You agreed without a second thought, it would save you a lot of time. The maid called for the others to hurry up and help you. With everyone's help, they quickly dressed you, fixed your battle-messed hairstyle, and cleaned your face with a slightly wet sponge.

"Oops, I ruined your makeup." Mrs. Inoue covered her face in embarrassment.

"Don't worry, it was already ruined." You replied with a friendly smile before another maid showed you the result with a hand mirror. It wasn't ideal to have the dark circles under your eyes from the terrible night before, but since there was no time for a touch-up. "Thank you all for your support. I’ll be back soon,” you thanked them with a bow before running out to the entrance as the servants waved goodbye to you.

Sukuna sighed as he finally saw you running towards him to begin the journey. You stopped in front of your king, your breath coming in short gasps from crossing the long courtyard and the drawbridge to him. With a different dress, not a drop of makeup and without all the blood, you went from looking like a warrior queen to a decent woman in a matter of minutes. Sukuna quickly noticed your purple dark circles from not sleeping well due to worry. It was a small reminder that despite looking different from everyone else, you were still just like everyone else.

“Where are we headed?” Sukuna asked you.

“To the human commune,” you replied. “Passing the hill, there are several cabins. Just follow the paths.” You pointed towards the horizon.

Passing the scary land taken over by the curses, the large green valley that belonged to the humans began. The human commune was something that Sukuna and all the curses know exists, but it is usually an area well protected by men, a difficult area to hunt. Even though Sukuna could easily invade the area to kill them all, it didn’t suit him at all. Even though the curses follow him faithfully because of his immense power, it is also because he keeps them well-fed. If he killed the commune in one blow, the curses would look for food in other lands and probably start a war against the sorcerers without being ready yet. The commune was like his personal chicken coop, why kill the chicken when it can lay eggs?

“Let’s go there then.” Sukuna crouched down in front of you, arms back, ready to carry you.

“What are you doing?” You analyzed his stance, curious as to why he was almost leaning towards you.

“It’ll be faster if I carry you on my back,” he explained. “So get on, now,” he commanded, losing patience from the embarrassment of being in that position.

You nodded obediently. You didn’t know how you were supposed to get on his big back. You were the one who always carried the others, so you had no idea what to do when someone else had to carry you. You jumped onto his back clumsily to reach out to hug him around the neck. Sukuna stood up suddenly, leaving your feet skidding in the air. With the help of his lower back, he pulled you up a little higher to better support you by the thighs. Your cheeks flushed as you felt his thumb caress your skin.

“Hold on tight and close your eyes, we’ll be there in no time,” Sukuna smiled confidently at his great speed.

You held onto his shoulders tightly and closed your eyes, hiding your face in the back of his neck as you got drunk on his strong cologne. A shiver ran down his spine as he felt your warm breath against his exposed skin. He shook his head to focus on the road. He didn’t want to waste too much time searching for your sisters, it was preferable if they returned before dinner. He pressed your thighs tightly against his body, leaving a light mark on you, before running off to the commune.

You screamed at the sky when you felt the huge difference in speed. Sukuna laughed at your adorable reaction as he ran like a bullet without brakes between the cobblestone streets, secret alleys and the occasional roof between the abundant buildings. Your heart accelerated at the same time as the large feet of your carriage did. The fabrics of their clothes fluttered against the wind as they reached the commune as soon as possible. Sukuna jumped over the wall that separated the town from the commune and finally fell on the green grass that separated the two worlds, without the slightest concern for scaring any poor human who was around. Sukuna continued running until he reached the center of the commune.

The owner of the cabin closest to the wall panicked when he saw the king running towards the commune. He ran terrified to the control tower to ring the bells that announced the possible attack of a curse. The neighbors, hearing the frightening warning, suddenly became agitated and ran to their homes to safeguard their lives in the best way they knew how, hiding. Sukuna reached the epicenter of the commune, watching as everyone greeted him with cries for help as they fled from him like cockroaches from the light.

“We have arrived,” Sukuna announced before letting you get off his back.

You staggered against your weight due to dizziness, falling to the ground in a sit-down. You held your head to make sure you were clear about where you were. You looked at the surrounding cabins, the stunned gazes of those who were your neighbors peeking out from between the curtains. You were sure they were wondering why you had brought the king of curses himself to his safe place, but there was no time to explain anything. You had to find your sisters.

You got up again to run towards your home. “Where are they?” You wondered in panic as your legs moved as fast as they could towards the furthest cabin of all. Your father had built it for your mother when they got married, far away from everyone, because your mother hated the neighbors but loved your father, so she moved with him to his hometown. “Where are they?” You looked around, anxious, searching for your sisters in any possible place they could be. “Where are they?!” Your mind roared in search of answers, praying that your little sisters were okay. A nostalgic smile crept onto your face as you reached the entrance of your old home.

“Nanako! Mimiko!” You burst through the door, breaking it because of the worn nails.

You called out to them over and over as you inspected the cabin, your heart in your hand in worry. Where there used to be a large table for everyone to eat together, a large kitchen with cooking utensils, and an armchair to hang out on, now there wasn't even a shabby rug. It was like looking at a dark, dirty blank canvas. The humidity was breathable, cobwebs hung from the ceiling, and field rats squeaked from their hiding places in the few pieces of wooden furniture that remained.

You ran to what used to be the room you shared with your sisters. The closet was empty, the curtains were full of dust, and the bed was bare. Not even the blanket their grandmother had given them was there anymore. All there was a small white envelope. You opened it carefully so as not to accidentally tear it between the trembling of your clumsy hands. Seeing who had written the letter, a tear escaped from your eyes.

“Dear sisters,

I don’t know if you’ll ever read this, but if you do, it means we’re not here to welcome you. We hate living here, we always had, so we made the decision to leave since we didn’t have anyone else with us. I don’t know where we’ll go, but it will be far from the curses. I hope you don’t get mad at us for leaving, and we can meet again soon.

Lots of love, Nanako and Mimiko”

You held the letter to your chest as you sobbed softly, as this was the only physical reminder of your dear little sisters. They might appear strong in their words, but you knew they were surely terrified. They were facing a completely unknown world, far from the only terrible nation they knew. You knew the journey to human lands was long, but not impossible.

You weren't sure you could bear all the pain you had felt in one day. Carrying the mourning of your mother, the guilt of having murdered your own sister and the helplessness of not being able to do anything for your little sisters would lead to your end. Family was what mattered most, but all of that had been destroyed in less than a day. The house of your memories had burned completely, impregnating you with the smell of smoke for the rest of your life.

“I knew you were joking,” Sukuna mentioned behind you, examining the cabin’s filth with curiosity.

“What are you talking about?” You asked, confused, wiping away the hundredth tear of the day.

“What you said to Yorozu. ‘If I could go back to my quiet country life, I would in a heartbeat.’” Sukuna quoted what you said to your sister moments before killing her, entering the room. “Who in their right mind would trade a life of luxury for a filthy pigsty like this?”

The king scoffed at your stupidity. He walked around the room like it belonged to him completely, even though he had never slept on the hard bed, felt the cold floor with his bare feet, or eaten on the floor due to the lack of chairs. This place was so ugly that he wouldn’t even let his servants sleep there.

“It's not about the cabin, but what was in it,” you explained, fiddling with the envelope. “I was talking about my family, or at least, the one I used to have.”

The bed creaked as it supported the king's weight when he sat on it to take a little break after the tour. Being the same height now, he noticed your sad eyes and the small envelope you were holding tightly. Quickly, he deduced that your sisters had run away from home.

“I can order a search to find them,” Sukuna proposed, but you immediately rejected the offer.

“It's pointless. If they left on the day of the harvest, they must already be in some other kingdom,” you explained your hypothesis as you put the letter in one of the pockets in your dress. “It will sound selfish, but I prefer to think that they are fine than to look for them only to be told that some curse trapped them,” you said guiltily.

“Live happily in ignorance?” Sukuna asked you with disdain.

“I can’t deal with two more deaths, I just… it’s too much,” you said before cowardly leaving the room to drop the topic.

Sukuna looked at you confused, but that inexplicable feeling in his chest came back. He was starting to get frustrated, not knowing exactly what it was. He shouldn’t have heart problems when using his reverse curse technique, Kenjaku thought nothing was happening to him, and it didn’t happen regularly. That discomfort was driving him crazy, as if it were an occasional migraine.

The soft wind greeted you as soon as you stepped out into the yard. You passed the sink and the clothesline to slowly approach the small family cemetery. Your father's small grave was neglected but intact, while your mother's had the earth turned upside down after someone dug there. “They didn't bury her well” you thought, disappointed to see that your mother's corpse had been stolen, it was probably some curse to eat her as a midnight snack.

“Hi…” You greeted your father timidly. “The family split up, and I wasn't there to stop it,” you said as your lower lip trembled.

You hugged yourself to stop yourself from crying again. Your eyes were already fed up, they didn't want to regret the whole situation for the tenth time that day. Biting your lower lip hard, you tried to take your sensitivity by the horns. You were about to give up when Sukuna's hands took possession of your shoulders.

“Your parents?” Sukuna inquired when he saw what he was looking at.

“Yes.” Your throat cleared before answering. “My little sisters didn't build a coffin, so a curse must have eaten our mother,” you added, holding your breath to keep yourself out of the way.

“I don't understand why they cling so much to keeping bodies,” Sukuna said with annoyance. “They're just a nuisance.”

“Because humans are selfish,” you answered with some annoyance. Sukuna raised his eyebrow when he noticed your change of attitude. “Even though we know they're no longer with us, we want to have them close. The soul leaves, but the body is the only thing that stays with us,” you explained.

“Anyway, it's stupid. The body doesn't stay either. It ends up rotting when it could have been the food for a curse,” Sukuna argued. You sighed heavily.

This was really the last thing you needed in your time of mourning. Your sadness turned to anger in an instant. You weren't surprised at all that he acted so indifferent to the situation, but you wished he would at least shut up so you could go through your mourning in peace. You tried to keep your anger to yourself, but it didn't stop you from blurting out,

“Of course you wouldn't understand, you don't have a family.”

Silence invaded the moment. A chill ran down your spine, reminding you of who you were talking to. Your eyes widened as you realized the horrible comment that had escaped your lips. You looked up, thinking he would be looking at you with contempt, but you were met with his monotonous face. That scared you even more.

“I had a family,” he answered before walking away from you to leave you alone for a while.

That answer left you stunned in your place. Curses had been a true mystery for much of your life until Kenjaku came to explain everything you needed to know. These strange creatures are a race of spiritual beings invisible to most humans, incarnated from the cursed energy that escapes from humans over time due to their negative emotions. How can a curse have a family?

A new guilt began to torture your chest. After watching him walk away from you to climb the next hill, you decided to follow him to apologize, it was the least you could do. You apologized and gave your father a final bow of respect for the last time to reach the king.

"I'm sorry, I…" You tried to tell him when you reached him.

"I still remember the face of the one who used to be my mother." Sukuna completely interrupted you as he continued walking the path to the top. "She was a beautiful woman."

Sukuna, before waking up in the nightmare he had transformed into, remembered his past life almost perfectly. He had a mother who was ashamed of him, a violent father, and a twin brother he never met because he ate him in the womb. He had been born with the blessing of having power worthy of a god but with the curse of being a complete disgrace. An evil being that had no way to be fixed. A lonely child who became a sorcerer with black blood. A man thirsty to destroy everything that stood in his way. He may have disappointed many people, but never himself.

“I didn't know that…” You stuttered upon hearing about his sad past.

“Not even Uraume knows,” you confessed.

“Really?” You asked, stupefied.

“You're the only one who knows now,” Sukuna looked at you. “You've earned it after what you did for me today.”

“I didn't kill my sister for you. I did it for myself,” you answered honestly. Sukuna stopped in the middle of the road, shocked by the direct confession. “My sister not only betrayed me, but also the family I had left.”

“Why do you care so much about your family?” Sukuna held his forehead, exasperated by hearing you repeat that word. “Your father was weak, your mother sold you, Yorozu betrayed you and your other sisters abandoned you,” Sukuna asked you.

“Because I love them anyway.”

The king's lips parted slightly upon hearing that. There was no logic behind that answer. There was not a gram of reason. He had no legs or head, but he still managed to surprise him. How could you love such a broken family?

“That doesn't make sense,” Sukuna replied incredulously.

“Love doesn't need to make sense.”

The pain in his chest turned into a flutter of thousands of butterflies. A simple phrase made his cheeks feel hot, his hands sweaty, and he felt the need to cover his shame. A simple phrase made him feel an inexplicable hope that he didn't think he needed.

You looked up, you were almost at the top. You had climbed so high that it would be a shame to have to go down when you were so close. Since your sisters weren't there to run with you to see the sunset for one last time, maybe you could do it with someone new.

“Follow me, just this once,” you asked before taking one of Sukuna's arms.

He let himself be led by your guide to continue walking the path they still had to travel. They reached the top of the slope, where there was a large rock positioned perfectly to admire the rest of the valley and the human commune. The rainbow sunset, the small cabins, the leafy trees and the distant night worked in harmony like a beautiful piece of art. It was a simple sight but beautiful in its own splendor. They sat on the rock as if they were waiting for something. Maybe they were just wasting time until the sun set to return to the castle, as you had promised.

“My sisters and I used to come here every day. There isn’t much to do in the commune, so having this view is a small blessing,” you commented to the king as you watched the humans emerge from their huts, wondering if the threat had left. “What did you like to do when you were younger?” you asked.

“I didn’t have a good childhood,” the king answered honestly.

“But at least there must be something nice that you remember,” you answered curiously. Sukuna thought for a moment.

In fact, there was something he remembered. On the outskirts of the poor village where he used to live, there was a large forest that hid the most beautiful flowers he had ever seen. He didn’t know their names or what they meant, but he didn’t need to know to admire their delicacy. Their different bright colors, soft fragrance, and unique designs caught his attention. He caressed their petals, afraid of cutting them if he didn’t do it properly. A simple but welcoming and delicate touch brought him peace. Sometimes he came across a bee or two that brightened his view with their plump and fluffy bodies. The flowers were the only thing he didn't want to destroy in gratitude for never judging him.

"When I had access to all the books, I learned that if you arrange certain flowers with others they can have different meanings," Sukuna explained as he put his hand in his pants pocket, squeezing the box he had saved for that moment.

He hated to admit it, but Kenjaku was right. This was the perfect opportunity to propose to you. The great view of your homeland that merges with the land he leads, was a beautiful symbolism. They were completely alone, without any humans or curses lurking in their affairs. The golden hour was almost over, so it was now or never.

"You know? You remind me of daisies. They usually symbolize innocence, joy and purity, and you are all of those things," he explained as he looked at the horizon while he gathered courage to look you in the eyes after saying that with his cheeks flushed. “Sometimes they are hard to read because they come in many colors and the real meaning depends on this, but that's not important…” He was so nervous that he was starting to get off-topic. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves.

Wait, why was he so nervous? Sukuna never got nervous, he was always ready for whatever he was faced with. A battle against a powerful sorcerer? A piece of cake. Ordering his troops in complicated strategies? An everyday occurrence. Declaring war against humanity? The dream. Proposing? It made his hair stand on end. He couldn't believe he felt his heart beating at the possible response of his prospective wife. He was sure she would accept him, she had already done it once, he had to do it... Right?

“What really matters about daisies is knowing how many there are in a bouquet. If there are less than 3, it means friendship. If there are more than 6, it means pure love.” Sukuna stopped at that word.

He had read about it in endless poems, and it was a concept he knew existed, but he didn't fully understand it. He didn't know how it began or how it ended. It was complicated, unknown and could become problematic. For some reason, humans are fascinated with the wonderful idea that love knows no bounds. They lived for it, endured for it, and would even die for it. Sukuna was sure you would too, but him?

“What I mean is that I would give you all the daisies in the world.”

Your head rested on his arm, startling him a little. Finally, he worked up the courage to look at you and couldn’t believe it. You were completely asleep. Your softly closed eyes, your slow breathing, and your lack of posture were a clear sign that you had been sleeping while he was giving the corniest speech of his life. He wanted to be mad at you. He wanted to shake you awake. He wanted to throw the box with the ring in your face, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t even frown.

He covered you from the little sun that was left of the day with one hand, while the other caressed your peach fuzzy skin with all the care in the world so as not to wake you up. He was mesmerized by the way you breathed, the length of your eyelashes, your hair swinging against the soft wind, your hands resting on your lap and your lips slightly parted by gravity. You had had a long day, and you hadn't slept the night before, it was understandable that you were tired and just wanted to sleep to forget about the tragedies. Maybe this wasn't the time to propose.

The sun finally set behind the distant mountains, turning off the light completely. It was time to go home, but Sukuna wanted to stay there for the rest of his life. Chatting during the day, admiring you at night, and dreaming in his free time. Sukuna sighed as he realized why his chest had been acting so weird lately.

“Fucking hell,” he whispered, low enough to not wake you up. “You’re driving me crazy.”

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[vctrvn-ls]

hi i love your writing it makes my heart feel so funny and warm so thank you🫶🏾🫶🏾. i was wondering if you could write for sharky. maybe something about sharky meeting y/n at kenny's birthday party and then y/n gets really drunk so sharky offers to bring them home and in the end its just all really cute and fluffy and all the boys are teasing him afterwards.

love this, it’s so cute 🤭

That One Room | Sharky |

warnings: language

wordcount: 5.5k

"Oh god this fucking dress." You huff as you pull the bottom down, annoyed at your choice of clothing.

"What? It's so cute!" Your friend Nella looked you up and down through the bathroom mirror. You gave her a "seriously?" look and walked out of the bathroom into your hotel room.

You glanced at the time on your phone "It's almost 11:00." You say as Nella plops down on the couch next to you with a big tired groan. You sit down beside her and close your eyes, enjoying the quiet for a bit.

Today was the 20th of March. Kenny's birthday.

Yes the Kenny from YouTube's Beta Squad. You personally knew him from FootAsylum, and because of your weekly shootings, you had become good friends. Maybe not too good, but good enough for him to invite you to his massive celebration right in the middle of London.

He rented out a whole floor at one of London's fancy hotels (which you didn't even know the name of) and invited a shit ton of people.

Crazy guy is what you thought.

The floor was mostly a club or some sort of disco area and the rest of it was an indoor pool.

Weird.

And knowing that you'd probably get drunk out of your mind, and because you didn't want to drive back and forth through London, you and Nella did what basically everyone else did: get a hotel room a couple of floors below (couple of floors because no one wants to hear booming music in their drunken sleep).

And as you and Nella laid around on the couch, you couldn't stop complaining about your dress and the fact that it kept riding up and almost revealing your butt, little did you know that that was something you will have forgotten about almost instantly.

"Girl I got you. I won't be leaving your side. I'll cover your precious ass." She joked.

"Nells I'm serious!" You gave her a shove "I'm not going to survive the embarrassment if tomorrow a drunk video of me in my underwear will be surfing the net!"

"Oh god y/n, these aren't Hollywood superstars. I know like more than half of these people and they aren't as vile as you think they are!" Nella had a point. You had only just began your whole YouTube career after one of your FootAsylum videos skyrocketed and you became (not a well-known) but a known influencer.

As worried as you were, you might've been overreacting a little. You knew a good amount of people (or more like heard of them) that were coming and really nothing could go wrong.

"Hey, Kenny." You say as he waved from inside the party room that was practically empty.

"Where is everyone?" You quiz as you lean in for a greeting hug.

"You guys actually came early." A tint of enthusiasm was heard in his voice which made you feel welcomed and wanted.

"You guys can do whatever you want. Toilet's down the hallway and out the door, it's both men and women so don't get scared, bar is right there," Kenny pointed to a fancy setup which was mostly made up of glass "If you need to get away you can go down the other hallway, there's like couches or something...but honestly I doubt anyone will use that room. Pool, smoke room I think they have hookas there-"

"Shiiit," Nella grins excitedly.

"Yeah and uh if you need anything come to me." Kenny claps his hands and looks at both of you.

There's nothing you can do except nod, all of a sudden all the previous worry washed away. This place was too good and too worth it to be hiding in a little corner.

Five minutes later you and Nella ended up splitting. You went to the bar and she was too intrigued by the hookas that she couldn't wait until you got your hands on at least one drink.

You hop on the stool in-front of the counter and smile at the bartender "One Negroni please."

"Yes ma'am," he says extra formally, in a joking way, and starts throwing bottles around and doing...bartender-y things.

While he was working his magic, you were busy looking around the room. A few more faces showed up and some of them looked familiar. You recognized Chunkz, Niko and there were two more guys, names of which you struggled to recall.

One thing you knew for sure is that they were part of the Beta Squad and you thought you even saw one on the set of FootAsylum's Liar Liar. Your thoughts were quickly cleared and forgotten as the satisfying clinging of the glass caught your attention. You turned around and saw your drink, instantly grinning and picking it up "Thank you." You nodded and turned to face the spacious room, determined to find Nella as fast as possible.

You didn't really need to "search" for her. You knew exactly where she was at.

"I'm scared for your lungs." You stood over Nella, who was spread out on the couch, blowing puffs of smoke in your face.

"Ironic. Well I'm worried for your kidneys." She points at the drink in your hand and sends another cloud at you, making you break out into a series of coughs.

"Right-" you wheeze "I'll be at the bar if you need me." You cover your mouth and hurry out of the room, sighing as you felt the fresh cold and airconed air hit your skin.

During everything that was mentioned earlier, somewhere in the middle of the room all of Beta Squad, along with Harry and Filly, were exchanging thoughts on the upcoming party.

"This place looks fire." AJ said, looking around in awe.

"Yeah, crazy how many people he invited." Niko chuckled pointing at Kenny.

"What? How many?" Chunkz raised his eyebrows, sure that it couldn't be that much.

"Not that much," Kenny tried looking away.

"Oh yeah, yeah," Niko said sarcastically "I saw the list. It's mad, I'm telling you he's gone up to every single person in London and asked if they wanna come."

Everyone laughed at Niko's comment.

"Nah it'll be fun." Kenny nodded "It's a chance for everyone to meet new people." He shrugged.

"Yeah or clart them." Harry blurted out, all his jokes being more out of pocket than the previous ones.

"Woooaahhh!" Chunkz exclaimed while everyone laughed, probably more from how awkwardly Harry had said it rather than the actual "joke".

"On the topic of new people." Sharky spoke up, coming over to Kenny and placing a hand on his shoulder "Who's that with Nella."

Kenny followed Sharky's gaze, seeing you talking to Nella next to the bar.

Of course everyone else looked.

"Guys don't stare!" Sharky whispered aggressively, nudging Chunkz and Niko that were closest to him.

"Yeah see he gets what I mean." Harry said, referring to his previous joke.

"Tsk, Harry what the hell." Sharky furrowed his eyebrows while everyone tried to hide their giggles and smiles.

"That's y/n." Kenny turned back to his friend "Haven't you met before?"

Sharky shook his head "I think I would've remembered."

Kenny shrugged "I can introduce you."

A few woo’s and ooh’s emitted from the guys, which Sharky quickly had to shush down.

"No I don't want it to be awkward." He glanced at you one more time, this time seeing you by yourself while Nella went to the smoke room.

"Go talk to her," Niko poked Sharky's shoulder "While she's alone."

"Nooooo," Sharky hissed at Niko, flicking away his finger "It's gonna be awkward as fuck."

"Pussy." AJ stated.

"Aje shut the fuck up." Sharky fired back "I said I don't wanna scare her."

"Or maybe you're just scared yourself." Kenny grinned.

"You too? Seriously?"

"Ok, ok, sorry." Kenny put his arms on Sharkys shoulders and hurried to apologize.

"How about Kenny just introduces all of us to her and then like...you know," Chunkz moved his eyebrows up and down.

"Yeah that could work." Kenny nodded.

"Can't believe Sharky's scared of gyal." AJ snickered from behind Filly, who was also trying not to laugh.

It really came as a shock to everyone that one of the most good looking guys of the group was scared to approach a lady, despite Sharky saying that "he didn't want to scare you off". Yes, maybe he didn't, but he was also scared himself, just like Kenny had said.

Fast forward back to the present where you were walking out of the hookah room. You took a sip of your Negroni before opening the door and as you did, you were caught off guard by the group of people that were right in front of you. Your breathe hitched but instead of breathing air you inhaled a bit of your drink and began coughing.

"Oh shit we did scare her." AJ commented from behind everyone. Luckily it wasn't too bad to get everyone worried.

"y/n, remember how you asked me about the Beta Squad?" Kenny gleamed at you.

You cleared your throat "Yeah."

"Well I'd like to introduce you to Chunkz," you shook his hand, of course you knew Chunkz, "And this is Niko-"

"Nice to meet you." He was very tall in person.

"AJ," that's who looked familiar off of FootAsylum's set "Then you've seen these two around often on shooting, Filly and Harry."

"Hi," you tried to put on a friendly smile, but really you were terrified by the amount of people you were in front of right now.

"And Sharky."

You extended your arm out before looking up. As you did, your fake smile quickly turned into a real one as you acknowledged the man before you. You shook hands too and as you did his friends spoke up.

"He likes football." Someone stated.

"He can drive-"

"Also he started cooking-"

You furrowed your eyebrows and chuckled in confusion as the comments kept coming.

"Yeah he makes the best soups-"

"Guys what the hell." Sharky tried to get everyone to calm down, but no one was planning on stopping. They didn't do it out of jokes, they genuinely wanted to present their friend.

"He has a podcast."

Now that caught your attention.

"Really?" You quizzed, interest drawn all over your face and Sharky caught onto it straight away.

"Yeah." He nodded proudly.

"I've been wanting to start one for ageeess," you explain, now forgetting about everyone and focusing on Sharky and what he had to say "Could you maybe like," you shrug "Give me any tips? Or maybe like tell me how you started everything?"

"Yeah sure." He said as calmly as he possibly could, but inside he was bursting! Not only did he successfully approach you (well kind of) he ended up gaining your interest which hinted at a future conversation.

"Alright, then we'll leave you to it." Kenny smiled, he was probably more excited than Sharky himself in the moment.

"Oh- Like right now?" You ask "Are you sure? I don't wanna like-" you motion to the guys "Separate you from everyone. It's a party after all."

"It hasn't even started yet." AJ said bluntly, earning a smack on the head from Harry with a whisper of "Shut up."

"No I don't mind." Sharky shook his head "Besides it's one of the things I can talk about for a loooong time." He grinned.

Your face was glowing with enthusiasm and you couldn't wait to hear Sharky's story...and possibly spend time with him, but you were still working out that part. After getting yourself a Martini, you and Sharky headed to the couch areas, yes that exact room that you were sure no one was going to use. But hey, this doesn't count, like AJ said the party hasn't even begun yet.

"Soooo," you said as the two of you sat down next to each other, maybe a little awkwardly "What's the best advice you can give me?"

Sharky chuckled "Well it's all about the desire of actually doing it. Just like with anything you have to be passionate and patient to get the results you want."

You nod in agreement, surprised at how wise he sounded.

"You need to choose a topic and it would be best if it's a range of things that are connected to one other thing so you don't feel like you're going off topic when you talk."

You nod, genuinely interested and fully submerged into the ongoing conversation.

For half an hour the two of you talked just about podcasting, but the other half hour was when things started to get a little more interesting.

The conversation steered in a totally different direction after you asked Sharky "Wait why didn't you get yourself a drink?" And then you discovered that he apparently doesn't drink at all.

"WHAT!?" You exclaimed "No fucking way."

"Yes fucking way." Sharky laughed.

"You're telling me you've never had alcohol? Ever?"

He shook his head.

It was like your world had exploded.

Then after religion you started talking about life in general. Sharky told you all about The Beta Squad and how it all started, whilst you shared your story about how you became friends with Nella Rose and ended up on FootAsylum.

You were currently talking about sports and who supported which football team, when suddenly you heard a loud bang vibrate through the glass walls. You turned to the door seeing Nella with a shocked expression and two drinks in her hands. You looked back at Sharky "Shit, we should probably go back."

He scratched the back of his head, nodding.

"Well, I'll see you around." You flash a smile at him before getting up and joining Nella.

Sharky watched you leave the room, saying something to your friend, making her laugh.

He didn't take his eyes off of you, watching you take a sip and wince at what he probably guessed was a strong cocktail. He kept his gaze stuck onto you until you turned the corner and disappeared back into the main party room.

He sighed taking a second to process his thoughts and feelings. He didn't know what exactly it was that he was feeling. Ironically everyone always said that he was the "ladies man" but as soon as it actually comes to the real life interaction, he was just as confused as everyone else and that did not help his confidence whatsoever.

Meanwhile you were back in the familiar room which was now full of people, strobing with colorful lights and boosting with music. The base was so strong that you felt the sound waves through the floor.

"LETS FUCKING DANCE!" Nella screeched into your ear, snatching your empty glass and placing it onto a table, before grabbing your wrist and pulling you after her right into the crowd of dancing people.

You felt like you were at the club, or a disco.

It was full of unfamiliar people that had only one thing in common with you: they were drunk to shit. At least you felt carefree and happy, even though it was drunk-happy. You and Nella jumped, danced, sang into each others faces and even had a mini dance battle. 10 songs later you were stumbling back to the bar, thirsty and exhausted.

"Can I have a-a," you furrowed your eyebrows, drunkly running a hand through your hair "Margarita?" You raised your eyebrows, saying the first thing that came to your mind.

A minute later you were washing down the alcohol in just a few gulps.

"SHIT YOU CAN DRINK!" You heard a voice yell somewhere from beside you as the bottom of your glass clacked against the counter. You turned around and saw Sharky, face instantly lighting up.

"Hhheeeyyy!" You smiled, tilting your head. Luckily Sharky could tell you were stoned out of your mind, so he didn't deem your unusually long "hey" as embarrassing and just chuckled.

"Wha-I didn't see you on the dance floor." You said, leaning forward in a clumsy motion.

"Uh, yeah," he raised an eyebrow, amused by your tone and enhanced drunk facial expressions.

"Why not?" You tilted your head again, maybe a little too much.

"I was-"

Sharky didn't even get to finish.

You hopped off the bar stool and yanked him after you, heading to the crowd of people. Despite feeling tired after the rave with Nella, you still wanted to go with him.

"Oh." He watched you struggle to walk in a straight line, entertained but also worried.

On the way there you bumped into Nella, Filly and Chunkz, who stopped you with a big "Hey!"

There was a slight pause as everyone focused on Sharky and you holding onto his hand.

"What are you guys up to?" Nella quizzed with a grin as she glanced at Sharky who had the most forced "I'm okay" smile known to humanity.

"Apparently he hasn't been on the dance floor yet!" You say it like it's the most outrageous fact they could've heard.

"Wow," Chunkz says nodding his head dramatically.

"I know!" You were too drunk to notice how playful that "wow" actually was, and took it in as his genuine surprise.

Sharky rolled his eyes to Chunkz's statement.

"You know, it's funny cause he's actually a dancer." He pointed at Sharky with a mysterious snicker.

"What!?" You exclaimed into Sharky's ear "You didn't tell me!"

"Yeah, I just...forgot? I’m not really-"

You widened your eyes "You need to teach me some moves!"

"Yep, he loves teaching!" Chunkz gave the situation a little nudge.

"For real?" Your mouth opened in excitement as Chunkz continued "Yeah! He teaches us all the time!"

Without anymore words you continued dragging Sharky towards the dance floor and as you did, he flipped off Chunkz in the process, knowing damn well that AJ and Niko were so going to make fun of him tomorrow.

"Teach me!" You yelled over the music, excited to see what type of moves you'd learn.

"Uh, well..." Sharky's eyes darted around the room "Maybe," he did the macarena and you instantly cracked up.

He watched in awe as you laughed away, trying to hide your face with your hand but failing drunkly.

"Cmon, be for real now!" You moved your hair behind your ears, ready to actually learn something.

He shrugged, then proceeded to move his hips while his hand did smooth motions around him, one in front and one behind, before then switching and repeating the same thing.

Your mouth dropped open as you watched.

"That was actually so good!" You yelled.

"Thank you!"

"Okay, okay, my turn." You got into position and after a small pause tried to copy him. The hands were fine, you actually managed to mimic him perfectly in that area, but the hip movements were absolutely hilarious. Sharky didn't want to laugh, but you were doing it so weirdly that he really struggled to keep it together.

"Whaaat?!" You whined, stopping.

"Nothing, nothing." He bit his lip and shook his head, but that wasn't enough to contain his laughter.

"Whaaat!?" You giggled, giving him a playful shove on the shoulder to which he again shook his head.

You roll your eyes, realizing that dance was evidently not your strongest talent.

You were about to say something to Sharky, but your mind quickly switched to the song that began playing in the background.

"Oh my god!" You shrieked "I love this song!"

You instantly recognized the familiar nostalgic tune: On the Floor - Jenifer Lopez.

And so did Sharky, this song reminded everyone of the good old days. In the rush of exhilaration you grabbed Sharky's hand and swerved past everyone in the crowd of people in efforts of getting closer to the DJ booth. While Pitbull rapped his verse, Sharky was trying his absolute best to hold onto you, afraid that he'd lose you in the wave.

"Sharky!" He heard someone call out. He turned around seeing AJ waving while beside him Niko did questionable dance moves.

All Sharky could do was mouth a "sorry" before disappearing behind two dancing girls.

"Hey, was he with y/n?" AJ faced Niko, who was now trying to do the robot.

"What?" He stopped.

"Was Sharky with y/n just now?"

"I don't know." Niko shrugged.

"Can't you see them over everyone with your long ass neck?" AJ snickered.

"Aye you be quiet," Niko whacked him on the back of the head before the two continued with what they were doing...or more like dancing.

While that happened, you and Sharky found a little space next to the stand between a group of people that were all preparing for the adrenaline-filled beat drop.

"You know we're running shit tonight on the floor! Brazil," you pointed to Sharky.

"Morocco!"

"London to Ibiza!"

"Straight to LA!"

"New York!"

"Vegas to Africa!"

"Daaance the night away live your life and stay young on the floooor," you and Sharky both hummed while doing slowmo movements, that actually looked really funny from the side, but really so did everyone.

You both leaned in, continuing to sing the lyrics as your eyes locked and breathing unified "Daaance the night away grab somebody, drink a little moreeee."

On the "grab somebody" Sharky scooped both of your hands into his and raised them up.

"Are you ready?" He yelled over the booming music. You giggle and nod your head.

With the beat drop came the electrifying surge of adrenaline and thrill. The lights flashed and everything looked like a stop motion movie. Without letting go of Sharky's hands you jumped up and down, eyes closed and soul open as you sang along "Laaaa la la la-la la la la la la la la la laaaa, tonight we gon' be it on the floor!"

As the two of you jumped, spun, sang and yelled, everything else around you seemed like a blur and it wasn't just because you were drunk. It was like the two of you were in your own little bubble, your own little world.

Lots of people were looming everywhere, but all Sharky could see was your bright smile, adorable squinting eyes and funny dance moves that he found very cute.

You were going all out, already sweating, panting and trying your best to breathe through your laughter.

In the moment everything felt so surreal and you didn't want to lose that feeling.

You didn't want to lose that serotonin that engulfed you with every melody.

You didn't want to lose this special happiness.

You didn't want to lose Sharky.

The music was pumping, and the rhythm was addictive. The two of you let yourselves go, lost in the magic of the moment. Your bodies moved in sync, eyes locked onto each others. You danced like you had all the time in the world, like nothing else mattered in the moment. Time stood still, and for a few fleeting seconds, you forgot about all your troubles and worries, lost in the moment, with each other, dancing like no one was watching.

As the song came to an end you felt like you were going to throw up, exhausted, from previous dancing with Nella, and drunk, but glowing out of pure joy.

"Are you okay?" Sharky gleamed at you.

You nodded "I think I need to like-"

"What!?" Sharky couldn't hear you from how loud it was. He placed his hands on your shoulders and leaned down, pulling you in closer so he could hear you speak.

"I need a breather!" You shout.

Sharky was quick to get you out of the packed crowd and back to the bar, where you ran into Harry Pinero and an unfamiliar girl.

"Hey, Sharky," Harry said in a playful voice, noticing you next to him.

"Hi." He replied unenthusiastically.

"Can I have a water please?" You leaned over the bar table, ignoring the conversation that was going on behind you.

"I see your nights going...well." Harry smirks, taking a sip of his drink.

"Yeah, it is actually." Sharky admits, glancing at you who was now finishing the glass of water like you haven't had any in days.

"Good for you." Harry nods, raising his glass and finishing it in one gulp before then turning around to his companion and heading to the hookah room. Sharky watched them, dreading tomorrows morning encounter with all his existence.

"You alright?" You snap him out of his thoughts.

He looks down at you and nods with a smile "Are you?"

"Yeah I feel a bit...sick."

"Oh shit, wanna go to that room we were in? I doubt anyone will be there."

"Yeah," you breathe.

Sharky puts his arm around your back, making sure you didn't trip over, as the pair of you made your way to the next door room.

You let out a sigh of relief as you felt the soft couch dent under you, resting your head on the back of it. Sharky glances at you, a little concerned by how unusually tired you look.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

You nod with your eyes closed "I just feel a little nauseous."

"That can't be good." Sharky thought to himself, realizing that it was best if you were to lay down or maybe even go to bed.

He's seen how much you had to drink and the more worrying thing was how much he hasn’t seen you drink.

"Hey, listen maybe it's best if you were to lay down, I can drive you home or you can have a rest in my room." He paused and hurried to add "Not in like that way you know just if you're feeling unwell- uh- like maybe if you feel sick- like the bathroom, you know-"

Even drunk you could tell how uneasy and flustered Sharky felt.

"I have a room here with Nella." You chuckle as you sit up and catch his gaze with your half open eyes.

"I can walk you there." He almost whispered as you moved your face closer to his, the distance between your lips gradually decreasing.

Sharky's eyes widen as realization slowly creeps in on what's about to happen. His breathe hitched as he felt your warm lips ghost over his, but before you could lean in and kiss him, he jolted back.

You felt your stomach knot and mouth go dry.

Why did he pull away? Did he not want to kiss you? Did you do something wrong? Did you go too far?

You felt your throat tighten and eyes begin to prickle with tears as you moved away from Sharky, trying your best to hold yourself together.

"I- Uh- Sorry I didn't meant to-" your voice was thick and raspy as your words came out choked and messy.

"What? No no no no no," Sharky placed his hand on your arm "No, y/n, that's not- Oh my god no!" He saw your eyes glisten and a thin line of tears form over them.

You sniff shaking your head "Sorry, I just thought-"

"No please don't cry," Sharky moves over, wrapping his arms around you. Despite the fact that he had just somewhat rejected you, you can't help but hug him in return, hiding your face in his chest whilst trying your best not to cry too loudly.

"y/n please don't be upset," Sharky says in a hushed tone as he rubs your back.

You sniff before looking up at him "Why don't you wanna kiss me?" By now your mascara had a mind of its own, running from the corners and smudging under your eyes.

"I do. Trust me I really do," he smiled softly "But you're drunk and you aren't feeling well. I just- " he sighs "It just wouldn't feel right considering the vulnerable state you're in."

"Oh." You snivel. Sharky let's out a small laugh and wipes your cheeks with the sleeve of his sweater.

"I feel so dumb." You groan, hanging your head down to hide away from him in embarrassment.

"Hey it's ok," you can hear the warm smile in Sharky's voice "Honestly it took all of my self control to do that."

You let out a small chuckle before looking back up at him.

That night Sharky walked you to your room and made sure you were alright with going to bed yourself.

You fell asleep with a grin on your face and with the feeling of excitement to wake up in the morning.

"Yep girl, that's it. Let it all out." Nella patted you on the back as you crouched over the toilet seat, throwing up everything your stomach had.

"Oh my god." You panted, looking up to take a whiff of air "Im never drinking again." You whined.

"Uhuh, like the last time you were never gonna drink again?"

"You know what I-" aaand you were back at it.

In the meantime everyone else you knew was having breakfast on the top floor of the hotel, enjoying the buffet and the open fresh air.

"So Sharky," AJ snickered "How'd yesterday go? You disappeared for quite some time."

"Really?" Kenny's eyebrows jumped up in surprise.

"Yeah, with we-all-know-who."

Sharky shook his head without any amusement, continuing to eat his breakfast.

"Oh cmon you have to tell us about it!" Chunkz threw his arms up.

"Nothing. Happened." Sharky stated.

"Ain't no way nothing happened." Harry joined in "I've seen you go into that couch-room."

"Oh, good to know someone actually used it." Kenny chuckled.

"Used?" Sharky raised a brow "I'm telling you, nothing happened. She felt sick so I," he shrugged "You know walked her to her room and then she went to bed." Sharky couldn't keep in his smile, remembering last night like it was something from a fairy tail, even that almost-kiss had his heart fluttering.

Chunkz caught onto that and gave a cheeky giggle "Aayyeee look at him smiling and everything." He pointed at his friend "Sharky likeesss her."

"Yeah so much that he apparently abandoned his friends on the dance floor." Niko furrowed his eyebrows and raised his hands up.

"Wha- I didn't abandon you. No need to be so dramatic."

Niko scoffed jokingly "Bros before girls!"

Everyone broke into a series of giggles and laughs.

"y/n is nice tho," Kenny said while chewing, evidently being the most innocent one out of everyone.

"She really is." Sharky agreed while everyone else continued to laugh, this time at Kenny's random statement.

"What?" He quizzed in confusion.

"So what you gonna go on a little date?" Niko asked.

As much as everyone was teasing Sharky about it, they were also invested in what was to come.

Was he going to ask you out?

Would you agree?

"Yeah I guess. I mean I do like her."

"Sick." Kenny commented "Look at me bringing people together."

"Yes, let's toast to that...With water because almost everyone is insanely hung over!" Harry raised his glass.

Unfortunately you didn't end up going to breakfast at all because you spent the entire morning throwing up.

As you rolled around in bed, holding onto your stomach, you and Nella heard a knock on the door.

"Ill check, you stay down." She says, getting up and heading to the hallway. Five seconds later you heard her call out your name, and without any thought you got up and lazily dragged your feet to the door.

"Who is-Oh my god hi." You almost fainted seeing Sharky there, considering your messed up state. He, on the other hand, looked amazing.

"Wha-You look insanely fresh for a person who's been partying all night." You speak your mind as you look him up and down.

"Thank you, perks of not drinking." He grins.

"Oh right, you don't drink." You nod, remembering yesterdays conversation "Well I did and now I look like shit." You scratch the back of your head.

"Nah, nah. You look..."

You raised your eyebrows, waiting for him to continue.

"Maybe just a little tired."

You chuckled rolling your eyes.

"Anyway I uh, didn't see you at breakfast."

"Yeah, sorry couldn't make it, I was throwing up all morning."

"Ooohhh...right okay makes sense." He nods. You can't help but grin at how awkward and shy he was acting, standing there in front of you, swaying from side to side whilst fiddling with the sleeves of his sweater.

"I uh wanted to ask, if you would want to go to the-I mean on a date? Maybe?"

"Are you kidding? Obviously."

"Obviously?" Sharky let's out a confused chuckle.

"Oh please, just because I'm sober now doesn't mean that I don't like you. I remember yesterday quite well."

"Ah," he nods "Okay that's good."

You grin "It is good. And I can't wait for the date."

"Text you?"

"Do you have my number?" You raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," his tone was unsure.

"Wait how'd you-"

"Kenny."

You nodded "Alright. I'll be uh, waiting."

"Yep." Sharky looks around "Bye?"

You step forward, embracing him in a tight hug "See you."

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

Do you think that you could do a minific about Darry's birthday and the gang accidently forgetting?

OOH!!! I love this!! I will do my best!! TY FOR THE ASK!!! fic under the cut!!!

Darry spent most of his life largely indifferent about his birthday. He celebrated it, sure, but that was mostly because Soda loved an excuse to have a party and the rest of the gang loved an excuse for Mrs. C to make her famed chocolate cake. It was never a real extravagant affair or nothin', just reason to get everyone in one place.

Until Darry's 20th birthday. But they don't really talk about that.

It's been a year now. Exactly. And Darry's been celebratin' by bribin', cajolin', 'n everythin' just short of pleadin' to work on January 5th, 1968. He finally gets the only thing he'd wanted on the 4th when his boss concedes. He had always been a real good guy, had been real good to his father. He'd put up the cursory argument that he should be home with family. Darry had countered he'd be better off away.

He's not sure what he's meant to be feelin' when he wakes up on the 5th. Different. Maybe. He rubs his eyes blearily and glances around at the still-dark room. When they had been kids, the only time Soda ever got up early was Pony 'n Darry's birthdays. He'd always wake them up with that big shinin' grin.

Darry hasn't seen that smile in a year. And the room is empty.

He dresses in the dark, throwin' on the first clean pair of Levi's he puts his hands on. His fingers are on the knob of the closet before he thinks better of it. He knows the hollow ghost of the dark suit he's only worn to funerals will be waitin' for him in the shadowy corners. It's been worn three times. Three times too many.

The house is quiet once he pads out into the hall and down to the kitchen. Steve's soft snores and Pony's raspy wheezes float down from beneath the closed door of the boy's room. Soda is the only silent sleeper. The only time he's ever quiet.

Darry's gotten used to the lonely mornin's. Before- well, before everythin'- Dallas would always get up real early 'n crawl up on the counter by the window. When Johnny would stay the night he'd always wake up when Darry turned on the stove. It wasn't unusual to find all three of them crowded in the kitchen 'n not sayin' one word.

There's a sharp ache in Darry's chest he can't fully ignore. Before he realizes what he's doin' there's already two plates of eggs out. He blinks hard, presses his fingers into his eyes.

"G'mornin' Darry." Pony still doesn't look fully awake, eyes mostly lidded, sleep cloudin' his voice.

"Mornin', kiddo." Darry slides the plate across the table to Pony, who plops down hard and instantly tucks in. He doesn't say anythin' else. Darry turns back around, squeezin' his eyes shut. Glory, he was a mess. So what the kid didn't remember. Darry wasn't gonna remind him. If it didn't hurt don't prod at it.

He flips another egg. Each of the boys ate like horses. It wasn't until Darry started cookin' all the time he would think of the way his dad would grin 'n joke they were gonna eat him outta house 'n home. Darry bites his lip on the choked little whine he can feel climbin' up his throat.

"Soda wake up." Steve still sounds sleepy and Darry can imagine him kickin' at Soda to get him off. Soda slept like a choker vine. If he managed to trick you into sharin' a bed he'd be out like a light in thirty seconds and you wouldn't be able to wake him up with an air horn to shake him off in the mornin'. "Sodaaaa."

Pony scowls and Darry uses the blessed distraction to swipe at the stray tear fallin' down his face. "I'm up, I'm up." Soda mumbles in a way that tells Darry that he'll be asleep again in fifteen seconds. The next sound is so familiar Darry would recognize it in his sleep. The distinctive noise of one of their poor battered pillows slammin' into Soda's head and Soda's resultin' indigent cries.

Darry chuckles and Pony glares solely because he's not involved. Darry plates the last egg and realizes they're out only when he puts his hand blindly back into the carton. He lets out a sigh and massages his temple with the heel of his hand. Well, there goes his breakfast.

Steve and Soda appear in the doorway, twin grins and pillow-touseled hair. Soda ruffles Pony's so now they're all matchin' 'n drops down into the chair beside him.

"Mornin' Darry! Shit Pony save me some fuckin' eggs before you eat them all!" He snatches his plate that Pony started in on since he 'n Steve were clearly too busy.

Darry white knuckles the sink. Ok. So they both aren't mentionin' it. That's fine. That's ok. And he stomps down hard on the resentment he feels shoot through his chest. Part of him wants so badly for them to turn 'n shake their heads in shock. How they could have forgotten! How could they have done that! He wants to turn around 'n ask shit haven't you missed somethin'?

He wants his dad to pat him on the shoulder. He wants his mom to let him have cake for breakfast. He wants Dallas to joke that Darry's an old man now. He wants Johnny's hand-drawn cards he always made on everyone's birthdays since he couldn't afford nothin' else. He was always so embarrassed about that, but they were the best present Darry ever got.

"Darry, you ok?" And Darry realizes his mistake too late. Soda's brows are all knit together and Pony looks lost and Steve's rubbin' the back of his neck in a way Darry knows he got from him but Darry got from their dad and suddenly it's all just too much.

"Yeah! I'm fine!" But he feels vomit come up the back of his throat and the words come out more forced than an armed robbery. The screen door bangs open and it's all a blur now so he doesn't even pause for a second before he thinks oh good, ma's home. Or maybe it's Dallas. God knows that kid's always at every meal. Shit, hopefully, Johnny didn't sleep in the lot last night, he'll never warm up.

But then Two ducks into the kitchen with a smile that slips right off his face the second he takes in Darry's face. "Dar-?"

"I gotta get to work." He doesn't hesitate another second because then he really will vomit or sob and he can't do either. Not in front of his brothers.

"Darry- wait!" But the truck's already started and he's already backin' out of the drive about fifteen miles too fast and he doesn't look at the house at all as he guns it down the street.

It's fine. He's fine.

...

It's after midnight when he finally crawls home feelin' like perhaps the worst brother in the entire world. There's still a light on in the kitchen and he grips the steerin' wheel tight.

Shit. He should have stayed with them. He shouldn't have left. It didn't matter they didn't remember. Shit, he's glad they don't. Because it's not just his birthday anymore. It's another excuse for them to remember the people they're missin'. It's the anniversary of the day their lives changed. And Darry would rather have them forget about him forever than have to feel that pain.

He eases the front door open as softly as he can, steppin' through and easin' off his tool belt and boots at the door. He can see the shadows of at least one boy at the table and he sighs softly and slips into the kitchen.

The whimper he makes is entirely uncontrolled. Soda 'n Pony slump against each other at the table, frostin' on Soda's cheek 'n Pony's nose. Two-Bit managed to fall asleep propped against the counter, Steve leanin' dangerously far back in his chair.

On the table is a chocolate cake Darry already knows will taste just like their ma's because Soda spent hours at her side while she lovin'ly stroked his hair 'n showed him how to crack an egg just right. Two candles have burned entirely out and Darry maybe should be cross about them fallin' asleep with an open flame but he can't feel anythin' right now but love.

Pony blinks blearily at takes a couple seconds to register Darry standin' there. A complicated swirl of emotions flit across his face and Darry realizes he's just standin' there cryin'. He reaches up to swipe them off his face but he's too slow and Pony has jarred Soda awake and now Steve 'n Two are both up and lookin' at him guiltily.

"Y'all didn't have to do all this." And his voice sounds all wobbly and weak and he thinks get it together because he's supposed to be strong for them. He's not supposed to let this get to him.

Soda doesn't say anythin'. Just flies around the table 'n wraps him in a hug and Darry's cryin' all over again. Darry just envelopes him and lets himself sob. He feels Pony shove his head into his side and makes room for him in his arms.

"I'm sorry." He says after a long moment, voice thick with tears.

"No! We're sorry. I can't believe we..." Soda trails off and Pony shakes his head and Darry had wanted this so bad only this mornin' but now it just makes him want to bawl again.

"I didn't want to say anythin' 'n upset y'all." Soda buries his head in Darry's neck and Darry can feel Pony nestle into his chest. Two's hand comes down on his shoulder and when Darry looks up Steve is hoverin' by, uncertainly. Darry grabs the kid and pulls him in and knows they're all thinkin' about the same people.

When Soda looks up his eyes are bright in the dull kitchen lamp. "It's not all bad." Darry cocks his head, lets his kid brothers go, gently.

"Your birthday's still worth celebratin' to us. Hell, the day I got the best brother in the world is still worth rememberin' to me."

Darry lets out a soft sob and presses a kiss to Soda and Pony's foreheads. He ruffles Steve's hair and squeezes Two's shoulder and takes a steadin' breath. Maybe it hurts. Maybe it always would. But there was a relief in the ache. The ache made him remember. And if it was painful, maybe there was a chance he could heal. Maybe.

"Well, if it's still my birthday one of y'all better get a knife. I want a piece of my brother's famous cake."

Darry had spent most of his life largely indifferent about his birthday. He wasn't sure what he felt now. But he'd gotten exactly what he'd wanted. His brothers all gathered together. Safe for tonight. And that made tomorrow that much more bearable.

[littlemissclandestine]

Why I think Russell Adler is going to make a comeback in COD 2024

WARNING⚠️: Contains spoilers for Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War and Call of Duty: Black Ops 2

Disclaimer: This is all just speculation on my behalf of course. I've just tried piecing stuff together for fun because Russ is one of my fave BO characters even though he's a bitch but i need more Adler content stat. <33

Let's get into it peeps. HEAR ME OUT.

Buckle up. Gonna be one hell of a ride folks 🤪

We'll start off with some random/background info.

Russ was born on February 12th 1937 so that would make him 53/54 in the Gulf War era. This actually isn't that old because if you think about it, Woods was about to turn 51 in 1981 during the Cold War campaign. What's a few more years?

We last saw Adler in action post-campaign in Warzone 1.0 cinematics but we've been kept in the dark about Adler's whereabouts post-1984 (after being brainwashed and killing Stitch LOL).

This meanie in a beanie wasn't forgotten about, oh no. He appears in the new cinematic intros on startup for both MWII (2022) and MWIII (2023). See below:

He was also featured twice in the 20 year anniversary video for Call of Duty whereas COD Ghosts didn't even get an appearance (ouch): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eL_w5HmxsPI

I personally believe Adler was a great addition to the Black Ops roster and is essentially the new Black Ops 'cover boy' now. Would be such a shame and a missed opportunity not to include a character like him in the upcoming COD. One who is morally grey, does whatever he deems necessary to get the job done - a bit like Cpt. Price in MW. Got the COD fans riled up about him brainwashing and pulling the trigger on Bell too - he's already got the spotlight in both a good and bad way.

Now, let's explore my main reasoning as to why I think Mr Shades 2.0 is most likely coming back in late 2024...

🎖️First up: Gulf War mission list 🔫

Here are some of the campaign missions that will be featured in Black Ops Gulf War. Obviously, this is subject to change, however, going off what we have, look closely...

Credit: @MWIIINTEL on Twitter/X

Safehouse guys...SAFEHOUSE. Takes you right back to Cold War, doesn't it? Ugh the potential.

🕵️ Next up: The campaign for COD 2024 will dive into the CIA's role/the Black Ops timeline 🕘

I took the following snippet from this official article.

From this, we know there will be a huge focus on the CIA and who's a CIA clandestine special officer? Mhm, you guessed it - Russell Adler.

Now, according to the events of BO2, it's evident which characters have the possibility of returning out of our original BO trio - Jason Hudson, Frank Woods and Alex Mason.

💫 Alex is presumed dead after Frank shot him so he's out the picture in '90/91 until 2025 when they canonically meet again.

🪵 Woods would be in his 60s during this time too so I'll let you decide whether that's too old for him to be in GW.

Edit: Woods got SPAS-12'd in the kneecaps on Dec 20th 1989 by Raul Menendez so uh...yeah

🧊 Hudson died on Dec 20th 1989 at the hands of Raul Menendez.

Feel free to check out this website (Call of Duty Wiki) for an outline of the events after CW to remind yourself. Here's a link to the Black Ops timeline from there.

➡️ Gulf War being a direct sequel to Cold War and what that could mean 💉

That brings me onto the rest of the safehouse crew. Since GW is a direct sequel to CW, it would make sense for some characters to carry over if possible:

We, as the player/Bell, get to choose whether Park or Lazar die (or both lovebirds) in 'End of the Line'. It's highly unlikely they'll return unless the devs make one decision canon maybe.

There could be a chance we see Sims again given his bond with Adler (Da Nang etc.), his age (late 40s in GW) and his status (alive).

That leaves the man himself, Russ. Everything from his age to the fact he's CIA and was the deuteragonist in COD 2020's campaign just makes sense for him to have at least a lil cameo or even a larger role, don't you think?

📱Finally: Hints from official posts 🔎

This post from Call of duty's official Instagram account kind of sealed the deal for me.

Oh lookie - they dropped syringe-lover's famous line in a zombies post. Why would COD just drop it so casually like that without a reason and years after CW came out? They could've said absolutely anything else but no, this was purposeful.

And that's all for this episode guys and gals!

Thank you for reading!! 🫂

Do what you will with all this information but I have concluded in my silly little brain that scarface is coming back.

How he's only in one game is beyond me. Won't get a character like him ever again. Seems like a cliché war dude at first glance but dig a little deeper into the details of the CW campaign, peel back the layers and get into his psychology and WOWZERS.

Am I delusional? Most definitely.

But the possibility he might be returning...that little bit of hope is enough for me and i won't shut up about it.

This will age horribly if he isn't in GW. Forgive me for feeding your delusions too in that case. Please?

What are your thoughts? Feel free to share them! 😊

------

EDIT: Y'ALL IT'S HAPPENING 😭😭

[faededaway]

Complicated Shinsou x reader [angst] which may or may not be reader x Tokoyami later [sfw, gn]

Shinsou is hard to love for reasons that are all his own doing. No amount of love professions and late nights holding up his hair while he drowns convinces him of your love for him. He's hard to love. But you love him and hope someday he will see it.

But today, today he's making you bite your tongue and fist your hands in your pocket.

Today, he's pushing buttons and crossing limits you didn't know you had to spell out for him.

It's your company's 20th anniversary. It's the first time you're at an event with Shinsou by your side as your partner. It took you weeks of convincing to get him to come with you.

“You said you want to know more about my work. This is the perfect chance for you to see for yourself. You can meet all my coworkers and see the office, too. Please?”

It hadn't worked until you said, “Toshi, you matter enough to me for people to know about your place in my life.”

He'd seemed excited to come with you. He'd even matched his suit with yours with complementary colors.

But his demeanor changed when you arrived at the party. His hand around your waist tightened any time someone called your name and he held you back whenever you tried to walk towards someone.

“You two seem close,” he'd said when you introduced your coworker to him,“is she your work wife? That would explain what keeps you going at your hard job.”

Your coworkers had laughed. The smile on his face fooled them, but you knew better. You knew his insecurities, his 'you deserve better', his 'maybe you have someone better on the side', and 'I'm just a project for you' were the reason behind his lighthearted jokes. Shinsou isn't the kind of person who would joke with people he's never met before. So you don't laugh. You can't. Not when you think about how your work is hard because of him. Your work is hard because you usually spend every hour outside of work making sure he's okay. Sometimes you barely get 2 hours of sleep before your shifts. Even when you're at work, you text him thrice a day at fixed intervals. Loving him is hard, but you believe he is worth the hard work.

However, “maybe if you were less self-absorbed you'd know what actually makes my job hard”, leaves your tongue before you can stop yourself. Tears follow soon after, clouding your vision before you can see his expression. A choked sob escapes your lungs and your feet move before you can say anything more. Fuck

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck

You think about how much damage your comment did to your relationship. You think about how many days or weeks it will take for him to accept your apologies. You think about what your nights will look like now. You think and you think.

Fuck. I fucked u-

"Woah. Slow down!”, rough hands grasp your shoulders to stop you from running into the wine fountain. The frown on his face falls when he sees your face, “I'm sorry. Let's take a seat, okay?”

Tokoyami guides you to a secluded corner, fingertips barely touching you. “I'll get you some water.”

Tokoyami, was the coworker who knew. The coworker who covered your hours and the one who knew what 'family emergencies' really meant. Your face burns when you think about him knowing your new embarrassing relationship problem. You wipe away your tears and think of an excuse for him.

He holds the glass out to you until you grasp it with both hands. The cold if it eases your tension. “Thank you for saving the fountain. I got a little anxious suddenly-”

“Look.” He cuts you off softly. There's pity in his eyes that you don't want to see. You know you want to hear his words even less.

“You can't love a person to betterment,” his words feel like a punch to your chest. Your hands let go off the glass and you dread the chill to follow, “you can't love someone who doesn't want to accept your love. No matter what you do, it won't make a difference to them because they don't believe in its existence.”

However, the cold never comes because he's there to catch the glass before it falls, “try loving someone who sees your efforts. At least then, I won't have to see you cry so often.”

[tossball-stick]

heyy i saw your latest post about john's aromantic trutherism and i didn't exactly understand what you mean by that... could you explain? i too don't think he is actually in love with abigail if that's what you were saying...?

hiii!!! 1: thank you for asking about this im excited to write and analyze him in this way

2: plsplspls get the idea outta ur head that aromantic people cant love. noooo i couldnt have been misunderstood more. i wanna clarify that i do think john loves abigail. i just dont think that love is all that romantically motivated and ive got a few reasons to believe so.

3: uhhhh uhhh this ended up being like 2.5k words of analysis on john im sorry. no one on tumblr has asked me my thoughts about him before so this is the first time im talking about a lot of the stuff here and theres so much ive thought about johns character and its all messy and intertwined. itll be a little all over the place. i am deeply sorry.

okay. first reason? hes otherwise not much of a romantic. whether he wants to be or not, he falls flat on his face every attempt there is at being romantic with abigail (rarely do we see him be romantic with other women) is usually met with disdain, if there even are many to begin with. its rare to hear john say something pleasant about having a woman, and its rare to ever witness them having a good time together while in the gang. 

...up until the epilogue and john gets his shit together. but by that point i could argue further analysis as to how john isnt wholly himself by that point. hear me out.

john and arthur are two halves of one whole to me. its clear theres some sort of void in john after arthur dies, and he still holds the memory of arthur very very dear. he does his best to keep the memories alive, in fact, in a way to keep arthur alive. 

this starts extending to some kinda interesting parallels, though. writing and drawing in arthurs journal like he did, the hat being placed on johns head, john proposing with marys ring, the phrasing and tone of johns proposal is also shockingly familiar to arthur telling john that itd make him happy if john went to his family... after arthurs death, i find john taking on many of his traits even. he becomes more quiet and closed off, we see it even in rdr2 with arthur telking him to "knock it off with the whole being mysterious thing" or whatever. arthur claims its to act like dutch, but ill do you one better, its clearly just john idolizing his older brother and trying to be like him to be a proper man. this brings me to my next point...

the time period of rdr2!!! yayyy cowboys, the victorian era, Did u know. being a man was something you had to do in previous american and european cultures? this slowly started fading as we roll over into the 20th century, but there was a lot of emphasis placed on performing your role as a man. to be a good man, you must do xyz. otherwise, you are seen as immature, as a boy, as a child. 

throughout the entire series of red dead redemption, both 1 and 2, theres a lot of stuff pointing towards jogns struggle to Be A Man. arthur and dutch frequently refuse to let him grow up, still calling him "little john" and still treating him like hes a rowdy unruly boy that needs to learn better, not a man who should know better. hosea is the only man treating john like hes a man, and even then id say hes fairly lax with the guy. only as the story of rdr2 progresses do we see arthur start to shift his view towards john. not as a boy to stay a boy, because the gang isnt gonna be around forever. john cant keep being a boy. he needs to become a man, take care of his family. 

working off a distinctly gentleman influenced view of masculinity, johns inability to be a man is almost directly tied to his inability to be a proper romantic for his wife. compared to arthur, who is seen taken women on dates and flirting with them just to make them laugh at times. hes dancing with the ladies and helping them up and down the coaches, wagons, and horses. john like. just barely remembers to do that for abi in the epilogue. again, his failings to be a true romantic are tied with his failings as a man. 

in rdr1, this even extends to bill having the bit of dialogue, "you always were a scared little boy!" continuing to imply that john is not a man, hes never been a man. the only reason we can read him as a man Now is because we are going by arthurs definition of manhood. we can extend this further and say bill still views john as a boy because john does not live up to bills expectations of manhood- while arthur may view being a man as something chivalrous, more gentlemanly, bill clearly views masculinity as power and violence, without much to do with women. john does not live up to that, to bill, until the end.

if you read "masculinity" as "being romantic and chivalrous towards women", then, as john fails at being a romantic, he too fails at being a man. there are a lot of other ways john is immature and childish but this is a really easy one to point out if you know the time period and just how much emphasis was placed on both romanticism and manliness, and how they intertwined.

third reasoning for aro john: his family wasnt his for so much of his life. this one is another one that needs a bit of elaboration i fear.

the story of john and abigail getting together is simple enough. she joined the gang at 17 as a sex worker, slept around with some of the gang, then for one reason or another, very clearly believed that the pregnancy was johns. john runs away for a year.

in this time, we dont know a whole lot about what gang life was like without john. however, with arthurs comments about marrying abigail himself and loving her, and his close relationship with jack, i think its pretty clear arthur was the one being a man in johns place. when john left, there was a john shaped hole arthur had to fill. (i also like to think this because the potential misery of arthur having to lose his family a second time once john returns is fun to me.)

even in the story of rdr2, we see john Love and Care For his family, but its never in the same, romantic way arthur seems to involve himself in abi and jacks lives. john will defend them with his life, but when it actually comes to pulling himself up by his bootstraps and being a father or a husband, he kinda just drags his feet and gets lost. he has to be told to reunite with his family at jacks party, despite, in my eyes, his love for jack being very clearly displayed while they were looking for him. 

this is only bolstered by the conclusion of rdr2, with john and arthur on the mountain. arthur, in all his holy parallels, like jesus passing the virgin mary off to john the beloved, arthur tells john it would make him very happy if [john] went to be with his family and left. arthur is passing his family off onto john, the same as jesus passed his family onto saint john. (this one hits harder if you know the rest of the "arthur is jesus" parallels and symbolism but i feel like those would be more impactful as a web weave, and i cant make one right now haha. most obvious one i can think of to support this though is arthur being a scapegoat, dying for the gangs sins.) remember these points they are the most important and will come back later.

reason number four: "but javier-!" shhhhshshsh lemme talk. yes. john is infinitely more intimate with javier than abigail. however, again, we must take the time period into account.

not that far off from many disgusting redpill communities today, back in the 1800s it was typically expected for men to socialize with men and women with women. there was a certain level of bonding you only had with your wife, as well as a certain level of bonding you only had with the men who were close to you. 

i have got to grab this fandom by the shoulders and say rockstar did not make these men as affectionate as they should have been with each other, and thats completely platonically. this is taking romance out of the equation, these men considered each other brothers and family. they were all in a cult together. they would have been very close, and also very affectionate! they would confide in each other and hold each other and cry to each other. they would make gifts for each other and sing and dance together. you can at least see them all pass around beer bottles between each other.

do i think john and javier are closer than most? yes absolutely. do i think javier is in love with john in some way? yes absolutely. do i think its romantic? ehhh maybe. do i think john loves javier? yes absolutely. do i think its romantic? ....noo not really. their whole dynamic reads as one sided through and through to me. even if they ever got together im sure they were quickly apart again, and i doubt the relationship would have been fulfilling in the ways javier would want, leaving him longing still.

the "ive always loved you, even now" immediately funneling into a crate being shoved onto john to knock him over can also be metaphorical- javiers love is disarming to john Because he does not know how to react to it. hes never known how to react to it. hes never known how to react to love from anyone, because "love" seems to feel so much different for everyone but him.

reason ff. fiiiiive. dear god. im sorry for this being this long: john loves. he clearly loves very hard. he was clearly wrecked by arthurs death, he would clearly crawl through hell for his family, he was clearly hurt because his love for javier eventually stabbed him in the back. however, to me, a lot of this love feels similar to the love john has for dutch, or arthur, really. its familial, its platonic, it sure as hell isnt romantic. (even if the games themselves like to joke about it being so lol.)

its just clear to me that he loves. he cant not love jack and abi after everything hes done for them. he cant not love javier after being so close for so long. but in the same vein, he cant not love dutch for the same reasons. ysee what i mean? his devotion to his wife and child feels identical to the devotion to dutch, compared to arthur, whos devotion to eliza and isaac directly went against his devotion to dutch.

much like with dutch, where john was still seen as a boy, he will ferociously do the big things for his family (saving jack, defending the ranch, tackling gangsters and robbers). he will almost always fail to do the little things that would make him a true man, though. yknow. winding down, relaxing, just working, not getting involved in fights. spending some time with his family maybe. 

he can shape up and be good, he just never does. 

and i think thats why hes so torn between leaving on his own, leaving with his family, or staying with the gang. theres no difference between romantic, platonic, or familial love for him. when arthur tells him to go be with his family and john replies "youre my brother" its not only announcing arthur as family, but i think it only reinforces that blurred line of what love is for john. "i love you the same as them, why must i leave you behind? if they are family and i love them, then you too must be family, for i love you."

point six: i hope you remembered the first few points like i told you to. you did remember right

this brings us back around to john not being a man by not being a romantic, arthurs family being passed off to him, and also john not wholly being himself later on. in the epilogue, between 1899 and 1908, we hear about how john has been unable to avoid trouble and has them on the run still. whenever abigail asks something of him, he instead goes and does what he wants. its only after she leaves him (ultimate failure of being a man) do we see him start to shape himself up again, and i would argue this shaping up increases substantially after he reunites with charles. charles sets him on the right path and reawakens that memory of arthur. i imagine being close to blackwater also helps here. id argue due to charles' apparent closeness with arthur, and then sudden closeness to john due to john being all thats left of arthur... it makes john also feel like hes all thats left of arthur. i believe after speaking with charles and thinking to himself, he decides to fulfill the one dream arthur had, seemingly, at the end: take care of the family he had lost. well, eliza and isaac are six feet in the dirt so next best option: abi and jack. 

john starts to become quieter and more in his own shell- by rdr1 hes struggling to even really ask people for help with the most basic things. he becomes a lot more of a romantic speaker. he had always used fancy words with the gang, but never with charismatic purpose in the way i feel he does in rdr1. he starts making the decisions he thinks arthur would make. as a result, the hole that arthur left behind when he died, does not get filled by john. instead it simply gets filled with whatever arthur john can muster from within himself.

id also like to bring up john being the favorite, but not the golden boy. he was the youngest and most spoiled, but he was not the one dutch turned to for just about everything. he was still living in arthurs shadow, so i imagine all of that also plays a role in johns choice to live like arthur to get his family back, to be a man. he failed at being a man by his own merits. arthur was a real man by his own merits, lets just do what we've always done and look up to our older brother about it. copy what he does. clearly hes got it all figured out, even though you know he didnt, after reading the journal. 

this all is finally bolstered by john making the choice to kill micah and repeat the VDL cycle of violence, which ruins the perfect life he made for himself. he makes another decision HE, not arthur, HE would make, and thus has to deal with the consequences. 

in conclusion: i think john loves a lot and very hard. hes passionate about these people. but in his own words towards javier that start to become readable as projection, "hes a cynic that wants to be a romantic" and "hes all passion, no love ('no love' being how he perceives it, due to the views of those around him. he loves abigail and jack, he loved arthur, though because his version of love was different than theirs, its not read as love. therefore, he has none in his own eyes)." 

all of this coupled with a detached attachment style that leaves him cold and distant leaves him being tugged along in romances he truthfully does not feel the same about. he says he does, because he loves, but he doesnt know why the love isnt the same. so, clearly, since he loves, he must want the romance. he has to perform it for love regardless of if he truly does want romance or not. if he loves, he must be a romantic, and hes failing at being a romantic, so he cant be himself. he must be someone else in order to convey his love to his family.

i hope i got everything across alright ^-^ feel free to ask questions or send more asks ive got plenty more where that came from

[mncxbe]

𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞

𝘿��𝙯𝙖𝙞 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

I think I love you...

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Dazai cooking

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff ♡ slow morning

The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled my nostrils as soon as I stepped out of the bedroom. I managed to murmur a "Morning Dazai" between two yawns. The man that stood before me was wearing the pink apron that my mother gave me for my 20th birthday and was holding a spatula in his right hand. I couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of him.

"Haha very funny" said the man as he placed the spatula on the countertop and walked towards me. I stretched my hands above my head, letting my lover embrace me. His arms wrapped around my waist, holding me close as he breathed in my scent.

"And here I wanted to make breakfast for us and you laugh at me. You're so cruel sometimes, bella" he said in a chipper voice. I smiled, letting my head rest on his shoulder. We stood like this for a couple of seconds before he returned to the omelette he was making. I tried to step in to help but the ushered me to sit, pointing at a chair with his spatula.

"No no bella. I can handle an omelette you just sit there".

Until the eggs were done we talked about general things: the sunrise, how well we both slept and plans for the day. He poured me some coffee and started cracking his typical jokes. I couldn't help but smile at every word he was saying. Soon after he placed a plate in front of me.

"Bon appetit!" said he as he sat on the chair opposite to mine.

I looked down at the omelette. "Osamu..."

"Yes?". He raised his gaze from the plate as he swallowed a piece of egg. "What's wrong?" He was acting clueless again.

"Osamu why did you make a heart shaped omelette?"

He simply grinned, taking another bit of the egg. "If you don't like it you can just not eat it, you know? I have something better for you anyway" (wink👀).

I decided to ignore the last part, pressing my idea even further:

"I just wanted to know why you made the eggs heart shaped."

"I guess I just wanted to surprise you today"

"Well you certainly did"

I gave him a smile which he eagerly returned. I started eating my meal, only looking at my lover from time to time. His gaze never left me. Suddenly he broke the silence:

"I think I love you"

I choked on a piece of egg. I washed it down with a sip of coffee and started in surprise at the man before me.

"What did you just say?"

"I said I think I love you"

His voice was calm, a loving smile forming on his lips. "I woke up this morning and the first thing I saw was your sleeping face. In that moment I felt like I was home. I always thought that home was just a place where people went to sleep at night. But I was wrong. You are my home" he paused to take a sip of coffee "You know. At the beginning I found my actions quite pathetic. Every night, after every mission I wound up here at your place. And you always took me in, showed me kindness like I've never seen before. Now you're always on my mind. No matter what I do my thoughts wander to you, to your smile, your embrace and your scent. You made me want to live again, offered me a reason to stay alive and something to look forward to. So yes, I love you bella"

My eyes started burning and my vision slightly clouded.

"I love you too Osamu. More and more each day" I replied with a silly smile on my face.

We looked eachother in the eyes for a few moments, enjoying the comfort of silence. I reached to grab my cup of coffee, my fingertips brushing his in the process. He took this opportunity to interlock his fingers with mine. We stood like this, sharing this perfect moment. At this point I didn't even care about the coffee. I knew it had already gotten cold.

[milaisreading]

🌱🩷: Hope u all enjoy the 11th story!

Pairings:

Tokimitsu Aoshi x Manager!Yn (Post-Blue Lock)

Warnings: Reader uses she/her

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura ⚽️

🎄Dec 20th🎄

Days prior to the current event...

"What?! N-no! I can't do that! Please, anything but that!" (Y/n) flinched as she moved the phone away from her ear. As expected, Tokimitsu has started panicking at the mention of him joining her family for dinner. It's been a year since they started dating and both her father and brother wanted to finally meet Tokimitsu in person. Isabella and Marc were excited to meet him, and from the things he heard about the two, Tokimitsu is excited to meet them as well. The only problem were (Y/n)'s father and brother... they were a handful.

"Aoshi, I know it sounds scary, but they are both very nice." (Y/n) tried to argue over the phone.

"That's not what you said months ago! (Y/n), they will eat me alive! I can't do that! I really can't!" Tokimitsu said back, causing (Y/n) to feel offended a little.

"You act like both my brother and dad don't have common sense and can't control themselves. Aoshi, I am just asking you for one night to not be a scaredy cat."

"Me? No, no I am not doing this. I love you with all my heart, but I can't possibly do that."

"Aoshi..." (Y/n) bit on her lower lip, trying not to say something mean or rude.

"You promised you won't let your fears get in between our relationship."

There was no response from the other line and (Y/n) could feel her heart break a little at it.

"And this isn't the first time either. I understand you have your fears, we all have them. But, this is very important to me. I love you and... You know what, I give up."

"(Y/n)-" Tokimitsu started speaking, but got cut off by her.

"Save it. I will just say you are unable to come. Have fun during Christmas, I guess."

"Wait! That's not-"

But before he could finish the line went silent. Frustrated Tokimitsu started calling her again, but every time his call got declined. Tokimitsu, frustrated, put his phone away and went to lay down on his bed. He screwed up bad this time.

'I knew this would happen...' The boy thought.

'I should have never asked her out. Now she is stuck with me until she doesn't grow tired and break up with me...' Tokimitsu closed his eyes and tried to think of a solution. Flowers, apologies,gifts, and everything in-between won't help him out this time. He needed to change this, but how?

"Aryu! Aryu can help me!" The brunette thought as he took his phone back, dialing the other's number.

☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄

"And you said all that?! Refused to meet her family?!" Aryu's yelling caused Tokimitsu to flinch as he slowly spoke up again.

"Y-yeah. I screwed up, didn't I?"

"Yes, of course you did." Aryu let out a frustrated sigh from the other side.

"It's her family. You would have met them eventually. Rather sooner than later."

"But, her father and brother sound like very scary people-"

"Oh my! Tokimitsu, you are ruining your own relationship right now!" Aryu interrupted the other, clearly mad at Tokimitsu for it.

"A lot of us would kill to be where you are now, and you are just like that ruining a perfectly normal relationship. Tell me, did (Y/n) ever force you into anything? Did she ever whine when you refused to do an activity with her?" Tokimitsu was silent for a moment, trying to remember if she ever did any of that.

"No. In fact, she was very understanding whenever I refused to do anything. She is always patient and kind with me over these things." Tokimitsu admitted.

"Right, and I can imagine that she had enough. Look, (Y/n) obviously cares for you and sees a future with you. She literally invited you to meet her family! Listen, I can't tell you how to cope or handle your fears, but this is costing you a relationship. Figure this out and man up, Tokimitsu. (Y/n) loves you, and she wants you to meet the people she loves, too."

Tokimitsu was silent as every word hit him like a brick. How did he not think of that?! He was so focused on his own fears that he forgot what this meeting could mean to her!

"Oh... I messed up..."

"Yeah, you did. You need to get this back in order. Good luck." With that, Aryu ended the call as Tokimitsu stayed laying in his bed.

'I need to fix this. I need to get my act together... I... I don't want to lose her to anybody.' Tokimitsu thought in determination as one sentence Aryu said kept repeating in his head.

'A lot of them would kill to be me...'

🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️

At the same time, (Y/n) and Isabella were back home watching a Christmas movie. Well, Isabella was, (Y/n) was still focused on her conversation with Tokimitsu. A lot of thoughts were going through her head, as well as emotions. Anger, sadness, anxiety were the most notable ones. And, while she tried not to put the attention on herself, the troubled look didn't escape Isabella's observations.

"What happened? You look like you are about to throw up." Isabella asked, pausing the movie so that they could talk. (Y/n), while hesitant at first, spoke to the older.

"It's just... What would you do if you partner didn't want to do something important for you because he is scared? How would you approach it?"

Isabella blinked for a moment at the question.

"Is it about Tokimitsu coming over?"

"Yes..." She admitted.

"Well, that would certainly be a bummer, but I think I would understand it to a degree."

"You would?" (Y/n) wondered, earning a nod from the woman.

"Yes. As much as it sounds like hard work, I would help him overcome that fear. Relationships are built together, you know? It important to have love and understanding for one another. Just because you are ready for something, doesn't mean the other person is." Isabella said softly which caused (Y/n) to freeze up a little.

'Maybe... maybe he wasn't ready at all?! And I just sprung this whole idea on to him! Oh... Tokimitsu...' The girl thought sadly.

"It's important you two grow together and help each other." Isabella added in.

"I see..." (Y/n) muttered, getting up from her spot.

"Where are you going?" Isabella questioned.

"To fix something." (Y/n) smiled softly and ran up to her room.

Once inside, she quickly went to grab her phone.

'Tokimitsu, I am so sorry. I never asked how you felt about it!' She scolded herself and her carelessness as she dialed the boy's number. After like 3 rings the said boy picked up the call.

"(Y/n)..." Her heart broke as she heard his voice. It was full of sadness and worry.

"Aoshi..."

"I am so sorry for my stupidity." The two said in sync. Surprised, they stopped talking for a moment and then laughed a little.

"I love you, I am really sorry for being so careless."

"And I love you more. Sorry for being so stupid."

🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️🎄☃️

And that is how they landed in the current situation. (Y/n) squeezing Tokimitsu's hand as the boy took in a few breaths. The cold, December air helping him calm his nerves down.

"We cam really do this another time, Aoshi. I am happy if-"

"No. I want to do this." Tokimitsu spoke up, giving her a determined smile.

"This means a lot to you, and I want to do this." The boy added in. (Y/n) felt her heartbeat quicken and she smiled at the boy.

"I will be with you, don't worry." She said back, packing his cheek.

"I-I-I... Why now?" The boy stammered out, causing (Y/n) to giggled as she slowly opened the door to her house.

"It's for courage." She said as Tokimitsu took in a deep breath.

"Thank you. I love you." The boy said, squeezing her hand as well.

"Love you more. Now, let's do this."

"Yep, together."

[pricescigar]

Familiarity

Summary: After Harper accidentally used her powers against her parents and loosing her memories due to the psychic blast she unleashed. A familair face finally found her after so long.

Tw: Abuse

1945, Westchester, New York, 

April 20th

Harper's parents were arguing, which was no surprise to young Harper. They've been arguing a lot recently, so much for coming here for a better life. It seemed to be getting worse. Freddie Hugo never really liked Harper much, first and foremost she wasn't his child. Secondly, Harper never really listened to him anyway. She'd always told him she wasn't his dad, which was true but it still pissed him off. Thirdly… Freddie always found Harper weird regardless, he'd always say to Harriet;

“I swear it's as if that kid can hear our thoughts.” 

Harper was already having problems in her life which no child should have, her mutation was already becoming visible. At first glance unknowingly, Harper’s parents found it funny and interesting that she was saying all of these things. Saying what they were thinking, what her grandparents were thinking too. However the grandparents knew what was happening, they could feel it.

But the more it kept on happening, the more Freddie was beginning to hate everything around him. 

Freddie Hugo always hated himself– Detached with his own being almost, his grandparents were mutants. His father could teleport wherever he wished. His mother could manipulate fire to her own will to see fit. But Freddie? He was the unfortunate case of him being a simple human, no visible form of the X Gene. Harper's mother on the other hand possessed the X-Gene yet it didn't manifest, so it lay dormant in her own psyche. 

Harriet had a little history she didn't dare to tell Freddie, especially when it came to Harper. In her younger years she knew Sebastian Shaw, the two got together and married. Harriet became pregnant and gave birth to Harper, a birth that almost killed her but Sebastian was happy nonetheless.

Shaw was happy to be a dad, despite his antics. He showed unconditional love, support and was always proud of his daughter. He could see the potential in her. It wasn't until in 1940 that Harriet and Harper disappeared, he devoted his life to finding Harper again and other mutants too.

The memory of her real father was still visible in Harper's memory, she would always know who her real dad would be. Harper always asked her mother to see him again, but she never really listened.

Harper's grandparents were out for the day in New York, and so the only residents in the house were her parents and Harper herself. It was the day after Harper turned thirteen years old, she was in her bedroom reading her book before she heard her parents arguing once again.

Harriet went downstairs cautiously, standing by the living room door not making herself known. But watching to see everything unfold…

“This isn't the life I wanted Harriet, I want a family. An actual family where I have a child of my own blood. Not having some… Freak who has a different father than myself.” Freddie's tone was firm, with a hint of coldness.

Harriet suddenly slapped him around the face. “Don't you dare speak about my daughter like that.” She pointed a finger at him.  “She can't help how she is, and her father was a lost cause.” 

Freddie chuckled and shook his head. “I don't care, you either send her away now or I'll leave.”  He gave her a final choice. 

Harriet's facial expression dropped, then anger surged through her. An anger like no other.

“I will not. Send my daughter away, you selfish bastard.” She pushed him away, yet Freddie didn't do anything back to her. He remained stubborn as a mule.

Harper watched it all unfold, how her mother was punching, screaming at him. She didn't know what to do. But she was scared.

“Mum please stop…” Harper tried to speak, but her voice was a whisper.

Yet the situation seemed to be getting worse each second, both of them started to fight each other now. Harper closed her eyes, her brain was going into overdrive. Her emotions rising, she then opened her eyes.

“I told you both to stop!” She yelled, staring at both of them.

That's when everything went all fuzzy.

Harper blinked a couple of times, she felt herself come back to reality. She looked around the living room for a moment, everything seemed perfectly normal. Until eyes fell onto the floor, seeing her parents laying on the floor not moving. She tried to wake them up but nothing was working. 

Sebastian Shaw managed to track down Harper after 5 years, he found himself at a house in Westchester. Could this be where Harper was? He found the door to be unlocked, but he didn't think much about that. He stepped in the home.

“Harper?” Shaw called out. “It's me.” He didn't even need to announce himself, knowing she would recognise him.

Harper heard someone calling her, the voice sounded familiar to her but she couldn't place her finger on it. She stood up when she heard footsteps entering the living room, and there was Shaw standing before her.

“Hey kid.” Shaw smiled softly, he then saw the bodies on the ground. Feeling a different minute of emotions, but he remained composed. He had an idea on what had happened.

“It's okay.” He reassured her. “I'm here… You're dad's here.”

Harper stared at him for a moment, the lingering feeling of familiarity kept gnawing at her. But with her mind in overdrive, and her memories all over the place. She didn't know what to say… She looked back to her parents, her vulnerability was clear.

“I don't remember what happened… They were arguing, and now they're lying on the ground not moving.” Harper admitted, she then stayed silent looking back at Shaw.

“It's okay.” Shaw approached Harper cautiously, not wanting to startle her more than she already is. He could feel the telepathic energy seething out of her own mind, he knew his mind would be at risk too if he wasn't careful. He put his hand on her shoulder gently.

“I can help you, I can teach you how to control it.” Shaw said.

Harper stayed silent staring at Shaw. “I don't want to leave them.” She quietly admitted to him, talking about her parents who were now dead.

Shaw was patient about this situation, of course deep down he was sad to see his Harriet meet such a fate. But… The potential Harper had already, He was so proud of her.

“Oh… Don't worry about them.” Shaw replied. “All that matters now is you, think of all the things you could do.” He said, practically convincing her to go with him. He could see the confusion on her face, he the sudden manifestation of her powers took a toll on her

“Come. If you'll stay with your ol’ pa.. You'll be able to do things you've never thought you'd be able to do.” He said. 

Harper stayed silent for a moment before nodding to his words, which made Shaw smile at that. His hand remaining on her shoulder, he guided her out of the house. 

It all seemed to be going to plan until her grandparents made an unexpected appearance.

“What are you doing here?” Harper's grandfather quickly approached Shaw, a stern look on his face.

“Taking back what's rightfully mine, you know… It pained me to see her leave for that pathetic man.” Shaw spoke, clearly talking about Harriet and Freddie. “I'm just here to pick up my daughter.” 

“Over my damn dead body you will.” Harper's grandfather almost spat at him. “Leave my property, or I'll make you.” He said.

Harper stayed silent watching the situation unfold, feeling herself getting overwhelmed again. She could easily head the thoughts in their heads, doing her best to keep herself grounded.

Shaw chuckled at what he said. Oh he could've easily killed them, if he wanted to. But he wanted to take a different approach towards this. “Oh really? You think you want to mess with me?”

“Leave Shaw, she's fine here with us.” Her grandmother, despite both of them being much older, still had some fight left within them

Her grandmother formed a fireball in her hand before shooting it over to Shaw, to which he quickly moved away with Harper still close to him. He quickly absorbed the energy.

Her grandparents stood there in silence watching him, Shaw gave them a disapproving look.

“Now, that wasn't so nice. Was it?” Shaw said neatening his suit, his eyes stared at both of her grandparents.

Watching her grandfather rush towards him, Shaw quickly grabbed his arms practically twisting it.

“I've played this game before, old man, and I won't stop.” His tone was firm.

Harper felt her stress rising, her control was beginning to slip.

“Stop you're scaring me!” She said, she sent a large wave of telepathic energy on them, but it wasn't as bad as the one unleashed on her parents.

Harper's grandparents backed away as Harper said that. Shaw felt the mental energy, almost holding his head. He couldn't help but laugh. He knew he had to play the waiting game… So be it. Harper was remarkable. HIS daughter was powerful.

“One day you'll come to regret keeping her here, in this home like a bird in a cage.” He spoke, before looking down to Harper, placing a hand behind her head. 

“Be a good kid, never hide who you are.” He whispered the last part to Harper, giving her a small kiss on her head before leaving them in peace.

It was then her grandparents rushed to her and asked if she was okay, her grandmother especially. Hugging her closely, Harper watched Shaw leave until his figure disappeared from her sight.

[fentitrbl]

Tell Me You Love Me

“I don’t regret telling you how much I loved you.”

Word Count: 1,299

Chapter Five

Jasmine

July 20th, 2018

2:00pm

    After that little ordeal we had at the restaurant everything was a blur because the rest of our date was awkward. It was mainly that way because of Harry. I was starting to question a lot about what that girl had said and his reaction to it. Could he be famous? Or am I just delusional living in a fantasy world. He was also always on his phone could that mean something? Or is he just obsessed with getting on twitter lurking around. Lots of thoughts were going through my head but I know I am going to have to ask him sooner or later and today is that day.

    As we walked out of the restaurant and briskly walked down the street there was a park nearby. Harry hadn't said anything up until he found the perfect secluded spot to sit on a bench near a large tree.

I looked at him wearily, and said, "So are you going to kidnap me now or?" And for some reason that brought him out of his serious face for a second before he went back into his mood. "No I am not going to kidnap you in a public park." He laughed slightly. He then proceeded and said, "I am sorry about what just happened, and I already know you are wondering what that was about and I am willing to answer any questions you might have." 

    His attention shifted completely towards me as if there was no one else around. I didn't hesitate to start asking any questions, my mouth was moving faster then my brain was. "Did you know that girl from somewhere?" He then went and took a sigh and said, "No I didn't know her, I have actually never met her a day in my life." This left me confused because she knew his name. "Why did she know your name then?" He then said, "I make music."

I looked at him with my eyebrows raised, I was only slightly shocked just because he seemed like that type of mystery guy who either called himself an artist or actually was a legitimate artist. "Do you make SoundCloud beats or something, I want the link." I said making a joke and laughing. I was trying to lighten the mood since he was being pretty serious about the whole situation. 

    He looked at me confused, and said "SoundCloud? What's that?" I then innerly cringed because I forgot he is not familiar with the joke about guys who make music on SoundCloud. So instead I dodged the questions completely and followed up, "What kind of music do you make?" He then said, "I make something kind of like rock but I guess it could also classify as pop-rock." I actually was intrigued by this, but before I could answer, our conversation was interrupted by a dog barking nearby who was playing with its owner. He also looked up and out towards the scenery. 

For a second we both had been so immersed in the conversation that we forgot about reality. We forgot about what was really happening around us and for some reason it was relaxing. The dog then settled on it's belly admiring it's owner. "Cute pup." Harry said.

I decided to pull his attention away from what we were seeing and back to our conversation we were having. I needed to know more. "Is your music just something you make or do you have other people who help create it?" I asked softly. I noticed his body language switch from tense to relaxed, I think he might be getting comfortable enough to tell me more. "I actually write the lyrics and I have a band with some really close friends that create the music." 

    For some reason I was not expecting him to say he was in a band. "Harry that's cool!" I said with enthusiasm. I didn't want this to turn into an interrogation so I stayed quiet after expressing my interest in his band. He then looks at me and says, "I actually have a session tonight at a studio not too far away from here if you wanted to drop in and hear what we are working on." I was in complete shock, mostly because it seemed sort of soon to be doing all of this but my curiosity was peeking at this point. 

"I would love too! I am off tomorrow so that works for me." I say shyly. He then says “ If you want I can come pick you up from your place and we can go from there to the studio?" I agreed with him by simply nodding. We then sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before we both started talking at the same time.

"You go first." I said. He then laughs and says, "Ladies first always." I smiled at him and said, "I just want you to know even if you are some popular A-list celebrity, I will still see you as Harry the drunk patient that jumped out the window and sprained his ankle." He let out a heaping laugh that took me by surprise. He then settled down and spoke softly, "I'll pick you up at 5." He said, standing up from the bench. I stood up along with him and we walked together towards the restaurant again. 

    The walk was not too far from the restaurant, it was actually very close. He walked me to my car and said, "Text me when you get home." He then closed the door for me and got into his car which was parked close to mine.

  I noticed Harry was one of those people that were pretty vague in their words but I think that's what made him stand out to me. I think he might've only been vague because we were out in public but I was excited regardless for what was to come tonight at the studio. I drove back to my place in a better mood then I had left it in. Once I got there I headed upstairs and got comfortable. I texted Harry and told him that I made it home and then got onto my couch for a quick cat nap. 

An Hour and a Half Later 

I woke up from my nap, with the biggest stretch I could possibly do while laying on the couch and my phone went off. It was about 4pm, I realized that my cat nap wasn't really a cat nap, it was more of cutting it close to 2 hour nap. I looked at my texts and Harry was one of them. 

From Harry: Would you be up to going to grab some pizza on the way to the studio? 

I quickly responded

To Harry: Yeah I actually just got up from a nap but if you want you can come early so we can head there! I am ready.

He responded back immediately almost as if he was waiting for me to respond

From Harry: Yes! I actually am out and about right now anyway, send me your address! I will be there soon.

I then sent him my address and decided to go into the bathroom to freshen up and fix my hair and makeup before putting on my coat and perfume. I would say I was eager to see this side of him but who wouldn't when a guy like him rarely comes around.  

15 minutes goes by and my phone starts ringing 

"Hey you, come outside and please bring a jacket it’s cold out.”

Reading the message my cheeks were starting to become warm. I then thought to myself, slow your roll Jaz as I headed towards my door to his car.

Harry and Jasmine sitting in a tree KISSING. I swear any time I have to write for this story it just comes way too easily for me. It’s like it’s living in my brain??? Are you guys surprised by how vague he is being with her? I’m not he is an AQUARIUS man. I am so excited to introduce the band in the next chapter and let Jasmine into his little secret world that he’s been hiding. I am more excited to jump into this Harry album 1/ fine line era. Will Harry let her all the way in or just the music part of it? I guess we will all find out togetherrrr. I love you! :)

[theeyeofthetigger]

Warning: discussion of animal death and grieving

Just kinda processing

It's still not hitting properly

Like I was so busy at work today that I could barely think about what happened yesterday but then I got on my break and I just cried the entire time I was in the break room

And my other cat seems so lonely without her

Pumpkin's never been in a house without at least one other cat there, and I think she's figured out that she's not coming back

And I just sat by her on the floor for a while today and cried

She keeps going to sit in the spots that BE used to occupy, because she always had a spot near her, just far enough away that they weren't close bc they got along well enough as they could for cats that were a decade apart in age

And I felt so guilty while I was at work because the entire mall was experiencing a data shortage so no one could use their phones

And today was the first day where I wasn't terrified that I was going to get a call from my mom about her again

Because that happened while I was at Spirit, she called me mid shift because she thought /that/ was the time

But she decided she was ready yesterday

She was comfy and cozy and had all of us around her because I was off that day, miraculously, and we all got to take her in and say goodbye

Two days ago, I came home from work, and we decided against going to my grandma's house to bake cookies because we were worried about her, and on the drive home, there was a vibrant, beautiful rainbow shining in the sky, past the rain

And I knew it was going to happen

I knew we had to just come home and spend one more day with her

So we made some ready to bake cookies and had her on a soft bed a bit of a distance from the front of the oven (we have a little nook under the counter in our apartment and that's where she was for the past couple days), and turned on the light so she could watch the cookies rise

I just felt so guilty for being absolutely relieved that despite having no signal at work, I didn't have to worry about it anymore, because I've been living on edge about this since early October and now she's finally at peace

And I know I shouldn't feel bad for that but I do and it's hard

It's 3am and I need to be up for work in 6 hours and I'm just sitting on the edge of my tub writing this and crying again

I just keep thinking back to this exact time the day before, when I was up late knitting because I'm working on my grandma's Christmas present, and I went to go check up on her in her little kitchen nook and she wasn't moving so I went to pet her just to see if she was sleeping and she looked up and made a little chirp at me to say hi

And by 11:40 that morning we were driving her down to the vet, because it was time

I know she was a nearly 15 year old cat and she was very very very sick (possibly cancer)

But I've had her since I was in high school and she has gotten me through so many hard times and several moves (including across states, because we got her when we lived in Maryland) and I miss her so fucking much I don't know what to do

Pumpkin misses her too and I don't know how to comfort a cat

I googled it to see if cats grieve and they do and it really seems like she is

If you've scrolled this far, here's some pictures of my sweet girls

The first one is from 2011, when she was just a little baby

Second is from 2021 when we were all curled up watching Hunter x Hunter and trying to keep warm during a cold snap

And the third is from the 20th, where Pumpkin climbed into her bed to keep her company for a little while

She was so so small at the end, I was so scared for her

I'm sure I'll find some closure on this eventually

But for now I'm in so much pain and I'm going to take whatever time I need to process it when I can

I love you so much, Bright Eyes

Know that you lived a life full of so much love

If you decide to throw a kitten at us from wherever you are, I can only hope that they have half as much determination and stubbornness as you did up until your last hours

[modmamono]

Fun Puyo Puyo Fact for you power scalers out there.

The more Ls one takes one after the other the stronger they are. Because in general, the loser gets exhausted after losing, meaning they don't have it in them for a rematch. So getting back on their feet is impressive.

Lemres, Possessed Klug, Satan, Ecolo, Ex, Marle, and Squares all operate(d) on this.

Squares in particular was on steroids, like 8 losses so close to each other. The one time he did one Marle was holding back.

To be fair the last few weren't hostile but he's still outdoing Satan.

Satan's highest losing streak was either 4 or 5 in 20th's final story. It's legit nothing to him. He can keep on playing until you're exhausted at winning. (Someone turn that into a comedy fanfic, please... or a dramatic one.)

Doppelganger Arle I guess is a glass cannon retroactively. She took one defeat and bolted out of there. Which is a little amusing.

And Rafisol perhaps shouldn't be judged by the same standards. She's a final boss in an RPG. The numbers she has should speak for her. Though it was 3-v-1.

The point of this post is I just find it funny that you can tell who's strong overpowered if they lose and go "That didn't count, let's go again!" It's inherently oxymoronic.

But in most if not all cases it does show it shows those guys are decent people.

Satan usually just leaves it at one match. Despite him being the one most capable of abusing it, it is often casually implied he is the strongest there is after all. Nobody comes close, even steroid Squares.

Possessed Klug loses one after the other, it's just Sig and Raffina bolt out of there before he can get up and rechallenge them. And maybe PKlug could have another go if Amitie didn't go:

He is brought down on his knees 3 times though. But that could mean anything.

I think Lemres reached more than his limit after all of the Fever 2 Waku Waku Courses because he's absolutely wrecked. He Puyo'd too much in the sun.

The Squares gauntlet is more about trying to de-escalate him than actually fighting Squares. But also demonstrates the BS "that didn't count" thing to its logical extreme. Satan could be that if he wanted too, but unlike Squares he isn't attempting to do something evil.

Only about 5 or 6 matches Squares partakes in are actually serious. He is successfully convinced he did a bad eventually, and the final few matches aren't antagonistic as a result.

Honestly, now that I think about it. The fact losers are kinda drained by a losing a Puyo match, and Squares almost exploding because he had too much power, would imply the final battle, a skill battle, is everyone Puyo-ing him at once to curb his powerful tummy ache. (I mean that's always stated, just I have more clarity now I think.)

Besides maybe Tee I think everyone else just doesn't rematch after a loss. They are consistent about this.

I'm not into power scaling persé, I don't like rating things like that and deciding who or what is only worth my time. That's reductive and dumb taking things with personalities, experiences, stories, and lore into account especially.

But I think it says something about these strong characters that's more than "Satan could beat Goku".

Ecolo and Satan, the two most recurring ones that can pull the "That didn't count" but usually don't tells us a lot about them.

That and as I said I find it funny. This is like so funny, flies in the face of logic. The more you lose in quick succession the stronger you are.

Also it's a Puzzle game, Satan may have the highest AI, but that still put him on equal grounds with Onion Pixie.

[aihoshiino]

I did some mathing in my brain about when is AI’s and the Twins birthdays since I’m trying to figure out with what we got in the prologue since Aka never gave anyone birthdays and the time line of seasons is a fuck here. but I’m thinking Ai just turned 16 around the same time she was discovered to be 20 weeks along(5 months) and it starts snowing when her death/20th birthday but the twins birth it also starts snowing with the reincarnation happens.Japan usually starts having snow around mid December til early April so I’m shooting that AI’s birthday is around December while the twins might be late march if im doing a ball park guess I know this is weird thing to bring up in a ask but if Akasaka doesn’t give us birthdays then the fans gonna have to do it with the context clues we get especially since she’s still 16 when the twins are like … 6 months. Idek I’m rambling and want to know of your take cause I love your takes

please undrstand i am saying this with nothing but love but this ask briefly sent me down a rabbithole of forbidden knowledge and insanity and i feel like a lovecraft protag who has seen too much. I THINK i have made sense of all this but.................... listen akasaka clearly didn't think about it the same way i'm doing here so really, i guess i'm the clown in this scenario. heehoo.

The most direct clue we get about when Ai's birthday falls is in Viewpoint B, during her conversation with Kyun. The flashback portion of the story is implied to take place in December (the framing device is set in December and Kyun's recent breakup happened 'right before Christmas') and Ai's upcoming fifteenth birthday is mentioned indirectly; she talks about being about to age out of the children's home she'd been staying in which would put her birthday either in December or January.

This is also supported by the fact that the the snowfall that occurs after her death is noted to be unseasonably early. Given that the series is set mostly in Tokyo which mostly gets its snow in January, December makes the most sense for her birth month. In addition, during the little happy memories montage at the end of the episode, we see the family celebrating Christmas in a space that has exclusively Christmas decorations — so Ai's birthday is not close enough to the 24th or 25th for those sorts of celebrations to overlap. With all that in mind, my best guess for Ai's birthday is late November/early December. I personally like to headcanon it as November 28th, as it matches the timeframe and is when the real life Strawberry Productions Fan Thankgiving event was held.

As for the twins birthday, my instinct was to try and guesstimate this based on the details of Ai's pregnancy. We're directly told by the text that it lasted the full 40 weeks (which is actually not as common for twins — Ruby and Aqua were a bit late!) and that a few months have passed by the time she returns to working as an idol; Aqua and Ruby are using walkers the day she returns from her hiatus and babies are not typically physically capable of using them until around six months old. Obviously the twins are a bit more mobile than a regular baby would be much earlier, but they do seem to be reasonably constrained by the physical limits of their bodies so I feel pretty comfortable saying around six months have passed by the time Ai comes off hiatus. This also makes sense in terms of Ai's health, since it takes about six months to fully recovery from childbirth.

20 weeks post hiatus pregnancy + six months postpartum recovery = ten to eleven months passed between Ai arriving at the hospital and returning from her hiatus. It's also worth noting that she may not actually still be 16 around this time? When Saitou talks about her age, he mentions her becoming a mother at 16 which is obviously the age she had the kids, but it does leave room for her to have had a birthday between getting pregnant and actually having them.

With that 20 week starting point in mind, though, we can use the remaining 20 weeks of her pregnancy to try and narrow things down a bit more.

Using the anime as reference, it seems to be around early/mid autumn when Ai arrives at the hospital. If you look at the greenery behind Gorou when he's up on the roof, you can see there's patches where leaves are starting to show their autumn colours.

Since the hospital is all the way out in Takachiho, where autumn typically lasts between November and early December (if I'm remembering right?), my best guess would be that Ai arrived at the hospital probably late November or early December.

With that in mind, the remaining 20 weeks of her pregnancy playing out in full, that means the twins' birthday must be in mid to late April. This is actually implicitly confirmed to be the case in the series itself: while Ruby's age (and therefore Aqua's by extension) is given as 14 at the start of volume 2, they are already sixteen by the time LoveNow starts airing, which happens not long after they start high school - and the Japanese school year starts in April.

I'm choosing to headcanon them on the earlier side of April, just because that places them smack dab in the middle of cherry blossom season for Tokyo, which both makes them spring babies in contrast to Ai and ties nicely into how cherry blossoms represent rebirth and new beginnings.

anyway watch me post this ask and then next chapter confirms the twins were born or october 5th or some shit.............

[fancassticfiction]

So, I did this manifestation ritual at the end of 2023, and I thought I would reflect on what happened and what didn't.

Frist, a bit about the ritual. It's called the 12 Magical Nights. In a notebook, on the 20th, you write down thirteen things that you have the power to make happen in your life. You then fold up each individual wish and burn one wish a day for the 12 days following. You don't look at the wishes. They are for the universe/fate/whatever diving entity you believe in to know. Now, if you're here thinking I'm bad at math, you aren't wrong, but not about this. After you burn your twelve wishes, the thirteenth wish becomes your responsibility because you can't just leave everything to fate. I wrote all thirteen in my journal just to reflect at the end. I have a video that breaks it down more at the end of this post.

But now I want to reflect, so here are the manifestations I made:

I thought I'd reflect on them since I'll do this year's ritual this Friday.

1. Publish my thesis - this one didn't happen. The process of trying to adapt this to multiple journals and their many different requirements just to be told my thesis was too unconventional and too personal was just not worth the very little time I had. I've recently been humoring the idea of just posting the whole damn thing on here or something.

2. Going to see multiple concerts in 2024! - This one happened! At the time of writing my manifestations, I only had tickets for Hozier, but not long into the year, Sleep Token announced a tour that I ended up going to! So this one came true!

3. Go on 3 dates! - This one definitely happened! I had been on 3 dates by March and met my now-ex boyfriend. We went on many dates.

4. Get a new record player! - I forgot I had manifested this one, but yeah! She just came in last week! The speakers for her come in Tuesday.

5. Going to strengthen friendships and meet new friends! - I'm very thankful. This was the wish I didn't burn, so this became my responsibility, and both happened! Thanks to my concert wish, I made some incredible new friends, some of whom are on here and who I'm very thankful for meeting (even if we're just goofy pictures of masked men to each other). I even met someone who lives just a mile down the road from me when I went to see Sleep Token in another fucking state.

6. Find a way to resolve stagnation in my career - I'm debating on if this one has happened or not because I did find a way to resolve my stagnation, but I'm not sure i want to go through with the solution I found. I've been debating on trying to teach in a new school district or quitting teaching all together (both ideas scare me.)

7. More opportunities to write - I won't go into a lot of detail here, but one of my beloved mutuals showed me a chance to write about music for a publication...and I got it. it's unpaid, but I don't give a shit about that because I ACTUALLY HAVE A CHANCE TO WRITE AGAIN, which actually feels pretty fucking great. I can't wait to tell you all about it when some of the writing happens. :)

8. Meet some online friends in real life - I actually had a plan to meet a friend over the summer, but something happened in their outside life that kept that from happening. I didn't get to see them because of it. I did however send some mail to some other friends in a little informal summer gift exchange, and I have those gifts in a place of honor. 🩷

9. Celebrate my sibling's graduation - So, this one didn't happen yet because things happened. However, they start their capstone in January, so the time is getting close at hand!

10. Get a larger bed - I made this list when I was sharing a twin bed with three cats, and I thought a larger bed would give me more space to sleep. Now, I share a full bed with three cats and still have no room to sleep.

11. Build my personal and professional confidence - I'm the department chair and have been invited to conferences. I feel pretty confident at work (at least until kids and their parents hit me with some emotionally abusive bullshit). I also took the scary leap to start dating, and I feel pretty good about that (even if my relationship ended). I have also become quite a road trip fiend even though I used to hate driving (the things I do to see live music).

12. Start therapy - This should've happened. It needs to. I just haven't.

13. Start singing lessons—I'm going to try this manifestation again. As a teacher, I could use voice lessons; teachers get significant vocal damage. Also, I used to sing all the time, and it would be fun to jump back into it with some actual training this time.

And here is the video for anyone that wants a breakdown.

[margindoodles2407]

Backstory on the names and numbers for Anchor Squad?

EHEHEHEHEEEEE

Okay. Buckle up because this is going to be a long ride

I've had Anchor Squad brewing in my mind for around nine months at this point (I made them around March of this year), and honestly it feels so much longer. Part of that reason is that they've gone through a lot of changes in just nine months- in fact I even went through an artsyle change in that time, so even looking back on the original material is a little hard sometimes XD

Part of that change entails the fact that originally most of them actually had different numbers. There were also originally eight members of the squad, and some names and roles did get shuffled around or outright changed from their original inception, and the name Anchor Squad didn't actually come into the picture until right before I actually started talking about them.

The original members of what would come to be known as Anchor Squad were:

Captain Spes (CC 2617)

Lieutenant Klik (CT 6020)

ARC Trooper Ticker (ARC 1009)

ARC Trooper Alep (CMO 2002)

ARC Trooper Razor (ARC 1202)

Trooper Varmint (CT 4600)

Trooper Bullseye (CT 3160)

Trooper Decaf (CT 1420)

Originally, they were also lead directly by Jedi Commander Moralene Kallier, who as a character no longer exists, having been split into the two current characters of Philomena Sevaar and Alee Venta (for which she actually merged with another one of my characters, Hattie Venta; I can go into my Jedi OCs later, if you'd like).

Now, there were originally eight members because their original numbers were based on the birthdays of my siblings. In fact, the original idea for the squad was, essentially, for me to have a place to talk about my siblings without looking like I was talking about my siblings XD

Once the boys started taking shape in my mind, though, I realized I did need to make some changes. The first round of changes looked like this (bolded for your convenience; I have also put the birthdays of my siblings in brackets):

Captain Spes (CC 2617) [not a birthay, actually based on one of my childhood home addresses]

Lieutenant Klik (CT 6020) [June 20th]

ARC Trooper Ticker (ARC 1009) [October 9th]

Clone Medic Alep (CMO 2002) [February 1st, i didn't want it to be 2001]

Clone Medic Razor (CMO 1202) [December 2nd]

Trooper Varmint (CT 4600) [June 4th]

Trooper Hotshot (CT 3160) [June 13th- you can see the numbers are there at least]

Trooper Decaf (CT 1420) [February 14th. yes i have a sibling born on valentine's day :) ]

Spes's number wasn't based on my birthday; I actually gave that to the division of the GAR the squad was a part of- currently the 924th Corps. In fact, originally, before they were Anchor Squad, they were the 924th Relief Company.

Now. Around the time of their creation, I thought about these boys a lot. But after a time (cough cough I had to take finals, I got a job, I did semi-grown-up things- my summer was really busy), they kind of fell off to the back of my mind and the back of my notebook. I had enough time to get a few things down though: Klik's missing leg, Decaf being a tattoo artist, Hotshot and Decaf's close friendship, and that the size of the squad meant that Spes should be a sergeant and not a captain, as well as a few things about him that you'll find out later.

Cue, like, two weeks ago. I finally have time to think about them again, and I make some pretty drastic changes- I give their squad a name, shuffle a bunch of names and roles around, and change pretty much everyone's number (because i thought there were too many zeroes in the original numbers. i still kind of think that.) This gives you the Anchor Squad you know today:

Sergeant Spes (CC 2617)

Lieutenant Sergeant Klik (CT 9620)

Clone Medic Ticker (CMO 1029)

Clone Medic Alep (CMO 2002)

ARC Trooper Varmint (ARC 4612)

Trooper Hotshot (CT 3168)

Trooper Decaf (CT 1206)

As for names:

Spes's name was originally going to be Hope- if you'll recall, the squad was originally based on my siblings? Well that meant Spes corresponded with me, and part of my name means Hope; it's one of my favorite parts of my name. But I just didn't feel like the name "Hope" fit him. Spes, however, is Latin for hope, and I thought that worked so much better.

Klik was originally named after the unit of distance used in the GFFA. I can't remember why, exactly, but I think it had something to do with him being really obsessed with calculating distances as a cadet. I'll make up a current canon reason eventually.

Ticker, as I may have said before, is so named because of his deep interest in cardiovascular medicine. I think he was originally named this though because as I was trying to brainstorm names in March I looked at a clock when I got to him and tried to morph that into some kind of name XD

Alep, however, I can remember clearly: as I was trying to brainstorm his name, a boy in my class said "Alex" and I heard it as "Alep", so I thought "kriff it, why not" and put it down.

Varmint I just thought of randomly. I've got a canon reason for it brewing but I haven't finalized the details yet.

Hotshot, as said before, was originally named Bullseye, because right from the get-go I knew he was a sharpshooter pilot. But I couldn't remember if there was already a Clone named Bullseye, so I changed it. Well, it turns out there wasn't, but there was already a Clone named Hotshot (one of the cadets whose batch Boba blends in with in the episode where he tries to kill Mace). However, by the time I found this out, I was too attached to the name- and calling him Bullseye just felt wrong at that point- so I reasoned that in an army of 3 million some names were bound to be repeated and stuck with it.

Decaf was another I figured out almost immediately; originally, he'd had problems with his firing accuracy because he had genetically shaky hands, so to try to help mitigate that to prevent his decommissioning, he and his batchmates figured out a system to train his hands to be steadier. Part of this involved his being forbidden from consuming any kind of caffeine. (The other part was his taking up a hobby that involved stupid amounts of precision, which is why I made him a tattoo artist, but I liked the name Decaf more than any needle-and-ink related name.) I eventually got rid of his genetic inclination to shaky hands and simply made him a bombs specialist, but the name, and everything else, stuck.

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME RANT ABOUT MY BOYS