#and most of the time I'm 100% some fictional character I know and not someone original

[graillore2point0]

Sadly, I'm too afraid of getting abandoned by everyone I've ever known over this, but I suppose that's what the hornyblog's been for from the beginning.

I wholeheartedly agree, to start things off. Gushing is a series that truly, well, gushes with love for Magical Girls as a genre and a concept and wants to explore it. To deepen what a Magical Girl is without actually subverting it beyond the obvious of Utena as a protagonist.

I am someone who can and will wax poetically about the themes and characters of Madoka Magica and while I'm generally too afraid of consequences to give Gushing the honour it deserves I very much want to do the same.

Now, a lot of the backlash against Gushing is over the ages of the characters, with everyone so far appearing in the anime being 14 other than Lord Enorme at 20 and Korisu-chan at 9. (The Shio-chans don't really change this, though they're 17.) People are getting up in arms over this.

Now, beyond presenting them with the obvious issue of writing a story about 'coming of age' and self exploration as a teenager (When most people start getting interested in such things) without having the main characters, you know, early teenagers, as it would not at all work as well with them above 18 due to various factors...

There's also the fact that Gushing is far from the only series presenting young girls in such a way? It's just actually open about it, and does it in a far kinder way than typical as well.

Gratuitous butt and boob shots, random slips and upskirts, hells even Magical Girl transformation sequences typically depict characters cloaked only in an unnatural light. It's a staple of comedy, slice of life, school and more action oriented genres (Look at BnHA, the average Isekai, the entirety of the Gacha Game scene, even many well recieved Magical Girl series).

(Also where are they finding these 18+ not secretly ancient anime girls? Grab ten of them and six will be 14-17, three 100-10000, and if you're lucky the last is 22 at the very oldest.)

Anyways, back towards topic, it comes down to this perception that to make or watch something that at all depicts younger characters in a more overtly sexual light is some unforgivable sin. That anyone who does is a pedophile biding their time (Which is a whole other matter they probably need to introspect on) who'll act at any moment to bring their depraved tastes into the real world. I could talk more about that in particular but not now.

The thing is it's not. It's not something morally wrong to watch or write something like Gushing or Prisma Illya. These are, in our world, fictional characters. They do not have an age, they do not have an observable will, they are not real on our dimensional plane, to watch or draw or write about them does not harm them in any way.

It's this... Christian puritanical obsession with everything needing to be Clean, to be Acceptable and Uncontroversial. It demands that nothing is explored, that nothing is considered, that nothing is made without first being judged Pure by the twelve most Racist, Homophobic and Misoginistic people on the planet.

I feel like I have more to say but I'm running out of steam so I suppose I'll call this here for now.

So, Gushing Over Magical Girls Is The Best Thing To Happen to Magical Girls

Gushing Over Magical Girls get this bad rep. For all the wrong reasons. I’ve seen it be called an insult to Magical Girls, I’ve seen it be called “gooner bait” a term I absolutely despise but that’s a thing for another day. I’ve seen it insulted for everything and anything under the sun.

I first got acquainted with it when I was scrolling through Twitter and I saw someone complain about the PV. However, as an avid Magical Girl Fan, I wasn’t disgusted. I was intrigued.

I decided to read the manga, and oh god.

This is one of the best things I’ve read.

The story follows Utena, a shy girl that loves Magical Girls, tricked to become the evil general that will defeat the Magical Girl team “Tres Magia”.

And it’s a delight.

I binged all the episodes available to me in the manga, and had fun in each and every chapter.

The same, however, couldn’t be said by half the people who watched the anime. And I was extremely baffled. As a queer woman, this was the first time in my life, in which I had seen something so deliberately catered towards me. I saw tell-tale signs of someone who genuinely admires the genre, and is simply using it as an outlet for exploring deeper and more interesting topics that a SFW version of it would not be able to.

Yet, I turn around and I see people calling it the most horrendous stuff, and accusing everyone who likes it of being monsters or men.

Genuinely, I’ve had enough.

Gushing Over Magical Girl is not the Devil. In fact, I think it’s the best thing to come don’t even like Magical Girls AND IT SHOWS.

PART 1: “Magical girls are for little girls!”.

The first criticism you’ll see aimed at “Gushing over Magical girl” is the amount of sexually charged content it has. And it is true. It borders on straight up porn in many instances and it just gets wilder as you go on. By chapter 30, we’re way past PantyShots. Like, I’ve seen some of these girls’ vaginas, and I’m not joking.

Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with it, but there’s people who might disagree.

“Magical Girls are for little girls” some people say “and you’re corrupting it!”

Which genuinely makes me laugh.

This is because this type of argument could only be done by someone with no real concept of Magical Girls aside from maybe Sailor Moon and Sakura Card Captor.

out of the Magical Girl genre in a WHILE (Ignoring Precure, because they just gave us a magical boy and that’s my win of the decade).

People are just, you know, stupid. And reactionary. Enough that they see a boob and lose their minds like a Karen at a Christmas Eve Mall.

My point is, I love this manga. And I’m willing to risk my reputation to defend it. Cause genuinely, half the people who are clutching their pearls over this show - Magical Girl Anime haven’t always been PG, or aimed at girls.

Cutie Honey is a great example. It’s one of the most famous Magical Girl Anime you will find - and it’s a shonen. With the protagonist, Honey, being constantly naked, groped, put in suggestive situations and have outfits that show her cleavage.

And it’s one of the most famous, most popular takes on Magical Girl there is. Yet, I never see any amount of outrage towards it. (Part of me wonders if it’s because the fan service is aimed at men, rather than involving yuri).

There’s also Lyrical Nanoha, one of the most popular serial franchises there is. It spans several seasons and spinoffs, and it’s beloved by many.

And it’s aimed at older men. Yes, it’s a Seinen.

In fact, its origins are far from PG. It’s actually a Spin-off of an erotic game named “Triangle Heart”. It was most definitely not created with little girls in mind, and themes it tackles reflect as much.

There’s Fate/kaleid liner Prisma Illya too, a spinoff of the Fate/Stay Night VN, very obviously aimed at older men, it’s a Seinen. It has a lot of fanservice and scenes where the characters are half naked.

Day Break Illusion is also a Shonen.

And as much as I adora Madoka - I’ve been stating for years now that it isn’t a show meant for little girls. You could argue it’s for everyone, regardless of gender, who’s a little older. But it most definitely wasn’t for little girls.

So, no. This was never an “only girls” club. Trying to paint it as such, is not only wrong but ignorant.

Magical Girl shows can be for anyone. Men, boys, girls, women and I find it infantilizing to consider it “only for little girls”.

No one says “super heroes are ONLY for little boys”

Well, some do. But they’re, you know, bigots. Who don’t want girls playing or adults o have fun.

So no, Gushing Over Magical Girls being a sexually charged anime in the Seinen category isn’t “corrupting the genre”. In fact, I would argue it’s doing exactly what the genre has done in the OVA shadows for a while.

Not to mention, many people have screamed from the rooftop how they want “more mature Magical Girl shows” referring to the success of Madoka. But as soon as an actually mature take on Magical Girls shows up, tackling issues of sexuality and love, you all don’t want it anymore.

(We all know why, though. Americans, and western culture in general, considers mature themes, only that which involves violence. Anything close to discussing issues of sex is no longer “mature” but “Pornographic” and deserving of being shoved into a corner. With all queer themes, gender studies, and any nuance that could be had regarding these issues).

And speaking of sexually charged, have you watched so called “wholesome” magical girls? They’re still very much sexy. Not in the “on the nose” ecchi way Seinen and Shonen are - but they still are.

You’ll find transformations were the girls are naked, zoom in to their breasts, you’ll have panty shots every now and then. Even themes of growing up, having crushes, and innuendos about sex. Inappropriate relationships, taboo romance, and the likes.

Sakura had Rita and a professor’s relationship (mutual in the manga), Sailor Moon had Chibiusa and Elliot’s romance, Sugar Sugar Rune even having an element for ‘lust’ and other different types of love, and let’s not forget Mermaid Melody which has several instances of the girls naked, in compromising positions with other men. And I’m pretty sure Tokyo Mew Mew likely opened a whole bunch of doors for girls to be into CNC.

This is, by the way, normal.

Completely so.

These stories often talk about the girlhood experience. And girls and teenage girls are interested in all of these things. They’re interested in sex, romance, their bodies growing up, their own sexuality and the likes. It’s no wonder same-sex relationships and romance get included, they’re part of what experiencing the world through the eyes of a young girl is like.

And subsequently, it stands to reason that as people who engaged with MG grow up - they find comfort in exploring their sexuality through Magical Girl themselves. There’s a reason why there’s a growing section of “Magical Girl” in your local hentai site.

“Men get off on corrupting this wholesome girl targeted genre” is actually TERF rhetoric sneaking through the mainstream. It ignores AFAB ppl and gender nonconforming people, who grew up with Magical Girls, simply using a medium that originally started their journey of sexual identity, to explore more “grown up” aspects of that same identity.

In particular, I’m a Cis AroAce Woman. I wrote a lot of Magical Girl NSFW when I first started writing NSFW Twitter threads. They’re bad and they’re cringey. But it was something I needed.

Magical Girls were a huge part of my childhood and early teens. When I was mentally in the space to want to engage with NSFW content: it was obvious I would turn to what first sparked excitement.

So this idea that “men are corrupting Magical Girls with their sick fantasies” is nothing more than TERF-lite propaganda. People, including women and men, have been doing this for ages; for a variety of reasons. And doing so, doesn’t rob children of their spaces - but the gentrification of the internet is a story of another day.

The other argument I have heard is that GOMG is a mockery of the genre. Which is even more laughable in my opinion.

PART 2: Parodies and why I hate Earth Defender’s Club.

Gushing Over Magical Girls loves Magical Girls. It’s a parody, in a way, but it knows very well what it parodies. It’s not surface level in the slightest. And it absolutely is not mean spirited about it.

A lot of the time, shows that reference and parody the Magical Girl genre, do so in ways that feel like they view it as a lesser genre. They take generic images of cute girls in frilly outfits, swap the colors around, and have them chant over-the-top spells. You’re meant to laugh, not only at how silly they look, but people who would love it. Especially if they’re grown ups.

I do not like “Cute High Earth Defense Club LOVE!” For this exact reason - even tho many people praise it to all heavens.

Because

1) It feels surface level in its commentary and depiction of Magical Girls and

2) More mocking towards the genre than paying homage or doing anything with it.

The continuous use of the word “Love” is a very obvious jab at Magical Girls using these words, which feels mean spirited just for the sake of it. Their outfits are almost exactly the same, save for the colors. And they all use the same sticks as weapon, with no thematic link for the shapes of the scepters. The mascot too (a wombat for god knows what reason), I think it’s meant to be a joke of some sort for how ridiculous some of the mascots for the girls get, which rubs me the wrong way.

In general, it feels shallow and mean spirited. But no one calls this an insult to Magical Girls. Because people who like it don't actually care about Magical Girls. They see cute boys doing silly things and love it. Which is kinda sad.

Now, Gushing Over Magical girls has sort of that same problem on the Tres Magias…But they’re not the protagonists. And even then, in later chapters, they get power ups that are different in design, and thematically linked.

The protagonist, and the ones we follow, are Utena and the girls. And they all have very distinct outfits, all with motifs that are tangentially thematically linked, and speak of each character’s personalities in interesting ways.

Utena in particular has THIS outfit. Which a lot of people don’t like, but I actually do.

It’s very obvious it’s taking inspo from other iconic Bad Girls in the genre. Namely, Utau, Kraehe and Devil Homura. All “Enemy characters” that have unhealthy obsessions with other characters. In particular, I think the wings and the feathers resemble Homura - THE character known to have a massive obsession with a Magical Girl (Madoka), to the point of insanity.

There’s also Magia Azure. Who’s a clear reference to the Mean Tsundere girl that is iconic to the genre. She’s also a Miko. Which is a callback to Sailor Mars, arguably THE girl who popularized this archetype.

I also love what they do with the mascots. Unlike Earth Defenders, where the mascot is you know, a mockery of the archetype of a mascot - useless, only there to give power ups, and obsessed with food - the mascots of GOMG is taking a book from Madoka.

It considers the mascots both all-too-powerful and yet limited in their reach. Which is exactly what the mascots have always been in Magical Girls. Beings so powerful they can give mythical powers to girls, yet helpless to do anything on their own. So, they use magical girls as a vehicle to achieve their goals. Most Magical girls try to paint this as a good thing, but newer genres shine light on how dangerous that can be too.

Madoka tackles it with Kyubey as the main initial mascot, only later to turn out to be the villain of the series.

And in a Post-Madoka world, trusting the mascots is just the slightest bit more difficult. That’s why, from the get go, GOMG portrays their mascots as morally corrupt. He’s not a good character, he’s malicious and doing more harm than good. But for the majority of the series, he’s painted more as a useless harmless evil than anything genuinely terrifying or worthy of concern. The attention is focused on other things.

But I love the way that it’s heavily implied that they’re not good. It’s a very interesting take on the mascot and it helps with the themes of the series. Which yes, by the way. Gushing Over Magical Girls has themes.

Which lead me to-

Part 3: Yeah, uhm, Gushing Over Magical Girl has themes.

There’s this idea that Sex is an inherently violent act. In which a man humiliates and sodomizes a woman, and therefore the woman is exploited in some way. And 10x worse is any act that involves BDSM. It’s violence; born out of hatred.

This is TERF rhetoric. I’m not joking. This line of thought leads directly to TERF ideas.

Many on the internet have pointed out as much, and BDSM members have gone to be very vocal about it. In particular, people on the role of the submissive (or the bottoms) are loudly trying to explain the contrary. How they like the act of sex, like the idea of being vulnerable, or being humiliated. There’s also plenty of LGBT+ stories that talk about it, both in western and eastern spaces. Just jump into the section of dom/sub verse at your local manga browsing website, and you’ll find something.

That said, the same is not as common for people who like to “dominate”.

I can only think of two pieces of media that argue that, whoever is the dominant or the sadist, is also a human being. That whatever they’re doing is done, not out of hatred for the submissive or an act of violence, but love.

One, is the husky and the white cat. In which Mo Ran, among other things, has to come to terms that his love isn’t “pure”. That he cannot love someone without the want to have sex, and to completely dominate that someone.

The second one is Gushing Over Magical Girls.

It’s very clear to me that Utena’s sadism isn’t a violent act. It’s an act born out of love. She genuinely loves the Magical Girls, and most girls for that matter, and whenever she is inflicting pain and fighting with them - what she wants is to ultimately help them in some way.

She wants them to “be the cutest version they can be” and wants them to shine brighter than ever.

There’s this one scene I love, around chapter 20, in which Baiser (Utena) is fighting Magia Azura. And due to Baiser going a bit too far, Azura ends up being Mind-broken. She crawls towards her, calls her “mistress” and begs to become her servant.

In any normal Hentai you’ll find, this is a good thing. This would be the ideal outcome. A character being turned into nothing but a sex slave for the enjoyment of the dominant.

Which is why I found it breathtaking when that didn’t happen.

Baiser is horrified by this. She does not want to break the girls, she wants them to be powerful. She wants them to win. With her, the evil one, being nothing more than a vehicle for them to be even stronger than before.

This is the first time I’ve ever seen dominant or sadist characters being presented both sexually, and in such a positive light. Much less a queer woman in the same position.

It doesn’t treat BDSM sex as a disgusting taboo act, but something born out of genuine love - and a want to see the other person be or feel better.

This is reinforced around chapter 25 where Leberblume and Loco Mùsica are fighting Baiser. For context, Loco Musica wanted to be an Idol, but had terrible singing. She uses her evil power to basically force everyone to listen to her sing (which is so reminiscent of Mermaid Melody btw). When they fight, Baiser wins, and is then set to use her new found power to “punish” Loco Musica.

Originally, Loco Musica points out how Baiser’s sadistic tendencies are “the same” as Lord Enorme, who we’ve seen uses sadism as a genuine form of punishment. Something to avoid. You behave well, because you don’t want to get hurt or humiliated by her.

However, when Baiser uses her own unique type of sadism on Loco Musica, something happens. Instead of causing her physical pain by beating her or using violence, she forces her to get naked and perform her idol song like that. This causes her to get extremely embarrassed. And in the process, she actually starts to sing really well.

This is important for two reasons

1) Baiser is actually taking into account who Musica is. It’s later revealed that Musica wanted a more frilly idol-like outfit but Lord Enorme shut it down, for the sake of a more ‘unified’ aesthetic. Baiser is not just throwing around the same treatment and punishment for all girls - what one might like, the other might hate.

2) At the end of the day, while she did the punishment, it was both embarrassing, but ultimately something that helped Musica and made her feel better.

And that’s really the key here, and why I love the series.

Sadism, sex and kinks in general are not tools of degeneracy. They’re treated as part of our experience.

Also, it’s just fun?

Part 4: Gushing Over Magical Girls is just extremely fun when you don’t have a dumb bitch yapping abt how unholy it is to see tiddies on a screen

Yeah, GOMG just has one of the most creative depictions of the most insane of kinks you’ll see - I could spent hour gushing over Nero Alice.

Seeing all these different kinks being depicted as powers and abilities that these characters have - and seeing how they interact with other people is just interesting.

The sex scenes are both hilarious and kinda sexy. Specially if you do like to see women all hot and bothered. Personally I’m not into girls (or anyone for that matter) but I have to admit the scenes were pretty hot. And there is no shame in admitting as much. No matter what the puritanical Christian on Twitter crying abt “god honoring lesbian sex” Will tell you.

I cannot begin to explain just how hype and relatable it was to see Magia Baiser defeat Lord Enorme with the power of straight up delusion, we STAN.

So, yeah.

It’s been a while since I last saw a Magical Girl Show so unashamed of being a Magical Girl Show. Unashamed of being weird, of praising the genre and just enjoying it.

My essay is titled, in part, as a joking reference to my much more popular series “MLB is the worst thing to happen to the magical girl series”. Which I still think is true.

And while, yeah, maybe GOMG isn’t the best thing to come out of the genre…I still think it’s good that it came out.

A lot of people say they want a more “mature” take on Magical Girls but - this proved to me that just isn’t the case.

Gushing over magical girls proves that the Magical Girl Genre Can Be so much more than what people think. More than glitter and sparkles, more than vapid action scenes, or what little girls want.

Much like any other genre, it can be raunchy, it can be messy, it can explore things outside of the status quo. But it can still deeply respect the source material, and the origins of it.

GOMG proves Magical Girls can be fun. Just. Straight up fun. Regardless of your age. They can serve and connect you to parts of yourself you didn’t realize you could connect to.

I hope it proves to more people that the genre can be so much more than “just for little girls” that parodies can be more than pointing and laughing, and that it can have themes beyond just, “friendship”.

Magical Girls can be so much more. You just, have to have an open mind about it.

[level2janitor]

Introduction to the OSR

what's an OSR? it's a game that's kinda like old-school D&D. or is old-school D&D. or is compatible with old-school D&D. an OSR game generally has some or all of the following principles:

low character power with highly lethal combat. in old-school D&D a 1st-level fighter has d8 hit points and a longsword does d8 damage, and you die at 0HP. this is not to ensure characters die all the time but to emphasize the next bullet point:

emphasis on creative problem solving. most situations cannot be solved by straightforward use of your abilities (such as charging into every situation with swords drawn, if a fighter), so the game tests lateral, outside-the-box thinking.

emphasis on diegetic progression. spells are found, not obtained automatically on level-up. you get XP by finding gold more than killing monsters. most of your cool abilities come from magic items. making alliances & hiring followers is encouraged.

focus on managing inventory, resources, risk, and time. the players are constantly faced with meaningful decisions; this is the heart of the game.

very sandbox-oriented. the focus on creative problem solving means the game must be accommodating to players taking a course of action the GM didn't plan for. use lots of random tables to generate emergent story. some elements of new simulationism.

high tactical transparency, i.e., the optimal course of action is rarely system-specific, and ideally very possible for a new player to intuit.

usually semi-compatible with old D&D, but not always. usually rules-lite, but not always.

what does the OSR mostly NOT do?

focus on character builds. these change the focus too much to be on the rules than the fiction, can create situations where stuff everyone should be able to do is an ability locked to one class, and impede tactical transparency.

resolve everything with a die roll. combat uses dice to be scary, unpredictable and most importantly not your default course of action. everything else should bring up dice rarely - dice are your plan B when your plan A fails. the best plans need no dice.

use linear storytelling or put players into a writer/GM role. linear storytelling gets in the way of the decision-making so core to the playstyle; letting players write details into the setting is mutually exclusive with them discovering it.

rules for everything. 400 pages of crunch is worse at simulating a believable world than the GM and players' shared understanding. OSR games rely constantly on GM ruling.

mostly still applies to all the above. making your system a "pure" OSR game comes second to doing what's best for your game.

System recommendations

old D&D or a retroclone

old-school D&D - or old school essentials or basic fantasy or swords & wizardry, which are old D&D's mechanics repackaged with quality-of-life tweaks (and the upside of not giving WOTC your money) - are usually the go-to when recommending someone's first OSR game. they're actually not my first pick, though!

PROS:

very complete, with more robust rules than a lot of the lighter games on this list.

100% compatibility: most OSR adventures are statted for old school essentials. converting them to other OSR systems is usually simple, but not 1-for-1.

easier to find games for. anyone interested in the OSR space knows what old school essentials is.

CONS:

jank. these games largely still have weird saves, level limits for non-humans, some still have descending AC, etc etc. it's not that bad but it is there

i hate thief skills. lots of essential dungeoneering actions are locked to the thief class as abilities, with abysmally low success chances. this is stuff i prefer being handled without a roll. thieves in this system suck and make everyone else worse at dungeon crawling by existing.

there's just lots of really cool shit in other systems i'm about to go into that you just don't get here

Knave 1e and its various hacks

this is a 7-page super-lightweight system that boils everything down to just the essentials.

rolling a character takes like 5 minutes. roll stats, roll gear, roll traits, go. done. it's great.

characters are defined entirely by stats and gear, no classes. wanna be a fighter, have high strength and carry a big sword and armor. wanna be a wizard, have high intelligence and fill your inventory with spells. item slots are elegant and pretty limited.

initiative is instant: roll d6. 1-3, monsters go first. 4-6, PCs go first. swingy, but god it is so smooth and shaves like the most boring 5 minutes off of every combat

monsters are so very elegant. old D&D gives monsters a "hit dice" rating to determine their HP, e.g. a 3HD monster rolls 3d8 for hit points. knave takes this number (HD) and uses it for attack rolls and saves (aside from exceptionally bad/good saves), so a knave statblock looks something like this.

spells are all one or two sentences long & extremely easy to remember.

7 pages is so light. i have the system basically memorized.

DOWNSIDES: there's no dungeon crawling rules (standard for meatier OSR games & something i consider essential) and no real bestiary, though the second point isn't a huge deal cause they're so easy to make. it also kinda assumes you already know how to run OSR games, so there's very little real advice or guidance.

KNAVE HACKS

knave 1e is in creative commons & comes with an editable word doc for you to publish with modifications, so there's a ton of variants (there was a spreadsheet of them somewhere, but i can't find it).

Grave is a favorite - i'm two years into a grave campaign and it's fantastic. it's a dark-souls-y version of knave with some really elegant innovations.

you have a set number of deaths before you for-reals die, as every character plays an undead as is dark souls tradition. makes it good for OSR beginners! being able to tell when you're close to your final death is really good - it lets you emotionally prepare for losing your character & raises the stakes more the more you die. (though honestly you should probably cut the number of extra deaths in half, it's super generous)

XP and gold are combined into one resource, souls. legendary creatures drop big souls you can make into magic items. this has ended up being the coolest thing in my current campaign. my players love finding powerful souls to make into magic items it's so fun

uses preset packages of stats/gear instead of knave's rolled ones, filling the role of more traditional character classes. has the wonderful side effect of not making you get stuck with low stats cause you rolled bad one time.

you have stamina equal to your empty item slots. you spend stamina on spells if you're a caster, or free maneuvers (on top of your attack at no action cost) if you're not. it's super elegant.

there's 3 classes of spells: wizardry for intelligence, holy magic for wisdom, and witch stuff for charisma. nice and intuitive.

there's a page of 50 magic items each a couple sentences long. this PDF is worth it just for the magic items.

DOWNSIDE: see the downsides for knave 1e. all still apply.

i enjoyed grave so much i made a variant of it with the dark souls bits removed (and some dungeon crawl rules added!) to use for my standard fantasy campaigns.

Knave 2e

sadly knave 2e is not purchasable yet (i backed it on kickstarter so i have access, though). but when it comes out i highly recommend it.

much larger and denser than knave 1e. it finally has dungeon crawling rules, it has GM and player guidance, everything is refined and the layout is so so nice and readable.

combat is a bit more interesting than 1e. you can break your weapon against an enemy to deal max damage. you get a free maneuver on high attack rolls.

there's rules for stuff like alchemy, warfare, building a base. it all kicks ass.

there are so many goddamn tables. i rifle through it anytime i need inspiration.

DOWNSIDES: some of the new rules are a little untested & wonky. introducing randomness into how often your rations spoil or your lights go out can cause issues.

Mausritter

you play tiny little mice! in a world full of big dangerous things that want to eat mice. cat = dragon. you get it. what more could you want

the mouse thing is just super intuitive. you get the dynamic between you and the big scary lethal world. fantastic OSR game to introduce kids

nice and robust ruleset; nothing feels missing

tons of super nice GM stuff! faction rules, tools for rolling up hexcrawls and dungeons, plenty of tables

super clean readable layout. font isn't too small to avoid being intimidating. guidance is really nice and clear.

combat is autohit. super fast & lethal.

100% free

look mausritter is just. good. i wanna run it so bad someday

Worlds Without Number

sort of a middle ground between OSR stuff and 5e. paid version here free version here

lots of classes, at least in the paid version. the free version comes with just the warrior, expert and mage. there's feats and more of a focus on builds than most OSR games. if you like more mechanical build variety than a typical OSR game, this is a great game for you!

extremely good multiclassing. y'know how in most games if you just mash together two classes you think are cool you'll end up with a total mess? not here! every combo is viable and works fine! easily the best multiclassing of any game i've touched

an absurd amount of GM stuff and tables. easily more than any of the other stuff i've praised for also having them. but personally i haven't dug into them as much, so i can't really comment on them

skills the way modern D&D has them. you roll dice and try to beat a target number. i don't tend to like rolled skills, but most people do, so if that's your thing WWN has them

DOWNSIDES

the layout is terrible. everything is a huge wall of text with very little use of bold text or bullet points to draw attention to the important bits. the table of contents has like 15 things in it for a 400-page book! i couldn't find any of the paid-version-exclusive classes for like a month after i bought it! looking up rules is a nightmare.

the way the default setting handles "evil races" is like an exaggerated parody of all the problematic aspects of how D&D handles it. like, it wants so bad for you to have an excuse to genocide sentient free-willed people. but at least the default setting is easy to chuck in the trash

Dungeon Crawl Classics

the goal of this system is to take all of the crazy gonzo moments people remember playing old-school D&D in their childhood and turn all of that up to 11 while cutting the stuff that doesn't add to that. i think a lot of its innovations have ended up kind of standard in newer OSR stuff (like fighters getting maneuvers with their attacks), but it still has more to offer.

the funnel: you start the game with four randomly rolled dipshit peasants that you then throw into a meatgrinder to get horribly killed. you pick one of the survivors to be your 1st-level character.

maneuvers: fighters roll an extra die with each attack that gets bigger as you level. if it's a 3 or higher, you get to do a cool thing on top of your attack. pretty standard for OSR games, but this game popularized it!

crit tables: fighters also get more crits and nastier crits as they level. every crit, you roll on the crit table. maybe you chop off a dude's arm. maybe you just knock them over. maybe you shatter their shield. it's very cool

spell tables: i don't really like roll-to-cast mechanics, generally. but DCC goes so all-in on roll-to-cast that it still looks fun as hell to watch. you cast a fireball and maybe it goes how you want. or maybe you explode, or you nuke everything in a half-mile radius, or from now on you permanently ignite flammable materials you touch, or whatever. casters just have to put up with turning into a weird mutated mess across a campaign

there's no dungeon crawl rules, no encumbrance - this game is all about the big over-the-top wacky shit, and is not really interested in the more down-to-earth number crunching. it's more in the you-die-hilariously-all-the-time area of OSR than the you-avoid-death-through-clever-play area. not really my thing but the system knows exactly what it wants to be and i respect it

iron halberd

this one is mine! as the author i'm not qualified to tell you what isn't good about my system, so just assume it's worse than i make it sound, but here's a bunch of the selling points

semi-random character creation where you flip back and forth between rolling dice and getting your own input. roll stats, pick ancestry. pick starting gear kit, roll different dice based on which kit you picked. etc etc. stats are random but all equally viable (no rolling incredibly low or high stats). every time i run this game the character creation is a hit. seriously go roll up a character it'll sell you on the whole thing

you start out a lot stronger than a standard OSR character but grow way more slowly. i don't like 4th-level characters being 4 times as strong as 1st-level ones; HP never gets that high. emphasis is more on diegetic progression instead.

way too many subsystems for alchemy, crafting, strongholds, warfare, renown, rituals, likes 9 pages of magic items, a whole subsystem for becoming a cleric mid-campaign. i couldn't help myself i love this shit

in my current campaign we had a player permanently sacrifice some max HP to become a necromancer after deliberating on whether that's a good idea for like thirty seconds, which instantly made me think my necromancy system is a success

also free

Adventure recommendations

(in rough order of size)

Moonhill Garden (by Emiel Boven): look at this. look at it! this is like the best template for a little dungeon in an OSR game. all of the little factions are tied together. this would be a great oneshot to introduce people to an OSR system with.

A gathering of blades (by Ben Milton): a system-neutral, one-page sandbox. i ran this for an iron halberd game and it went super well. lasted like 7 sessions. highly recommend.

The Waking of Willowby Hall (by Ben Milton): a single dungeon with a million things going on. it's super chaotic with half a dozen different factions crashing into each other and a big angry goose. highly recommend, especially for kids

The Black Wyrm of Brandonsford (by Chance Dudinack): small sandbox with a fun fairytale vibe and a very fleshed-out little town. and a big nasty dragon.

Evils of Illmire (by Zack Wolf): this is a very dense, entire campaign's worth of hexcrawl in a very compact package for like $5. it doesn't do anything particularly new, but the value-for-money is absurd and it's a really good template for how to do a sandbox if you're used to 5e adventures

Ask me anything!

if anything here is unclear or intrigues you, send me asks! i love helping people get into OSR games. i'll link frequently asked questions here if i get any.

[sugawhaaa]

SEONGHWA X READER

{Chapter one}

Blue paint red apple

Warnings:: mentions of guns and swords/abusive relationship

Pairing:: pirate!Seonghwa x princess!reader

Genre::pirate AU, ur fiance is clearly jealous LOL

A/N::I got this idea from a character of janitor ai so credits for the inspiration: marshwa4! I don't have this story fully planned out but I know it'll work out and PLEASE TRUST ME IT LOOKS SUPER STEREOTYPICAL AND CRINGE BUT JUST READ THE FIRST 3 PARAGRAPHS ITLL GET BETTER‼️

REMINDER‼️ this isn't 100% historically accurate and should be taken with a grain of salt. This story is also set in the late 1800s to early 1900s specifically in Europe but if you want you can imagine it wherever else you'd like, it is a fictional story after all 💗

Park Seonghwa wasn't an uncommon name to hear around the kingdom. It was more of a fairy tale name than anything. Stories of his rebellious and vicious acts travel around villages and kingdoms quickly. He has been seen by many royalty and merchants but rarely caught. Officials estimate that he's killed over 400 people in his 2 years of being a pirate, with the help of his crew of course.

You were much too concerned with your citizens to care about politics and things. Being the second heir to the throne meant that you didn't have to worry about politics or officials, you were worried about your people. You were a big part of one of the children's schools. A few times a week you'd head down to the children's school and teach them some things about being a princess and simply just hang out with the kids. That was pretty much the entire highlight of your life.

Most of the time you spend in your castle. You didn't really have duties to attend to and you didn't have many friends. Most people your age were too scared to talk to you.

You sat in your room painting a massive canvas in a soft green dress, a little apron over your body to protect your expensive dress from getting ruined. You held your palette in one hand and the paintbrush in the other. You step back to look at the entire canvas, a sad sigh escaping your lips. Disappointment in your eyes. The maid in the corner comes to your side.

"Is everything alright princess?" She asks kindly.

"Yes, quite alright," you say as you put down your palette and brush. You take off your apron and hand it to the maid. "I'm going for a walk around the village," you say as you leave your room. You go downstairs to see your fiance and father talking by the doorway. You stop your hurried steps and go down the stairs cautiously and gracefully, switching your persona. "Prince Herrington," you say as you approach your soon-to-be husband. He bows to you and you force yourself to swallow your pride and curtsy.

"Where are you headed?" Herrington asks with his chin up, looking down at you.

"I'm going out to retrieve some…" you paused and tried to speak while looking at his dispiteful face. "Paint," you nod and Herrington looks at you suspiciously.

He stands to the left of the door and holds it open for you. You walk out with a respectful nod towards him before heading for the village streets. You gaze around the streets taking in the Seabreeze and fresh air. You stop by one merchant who seems to be painting. You look at his table to see paints and hand-carved palettes. Once he notices your presence he stands up and bows.

"Princess Y/N, it is an honor," he says as he sits back down. "What can I offer you?" He says eagerly with a smile. You spot one beautiful blue paint and pick up the bottle.

"Could I have this? How much would it be?" You ask kindly.

"Free of cost for royalty," he says with an eager smile. You look at the bottom of the bottle to see £1.75. You toss him two pounds before walking off.

"Keep the change," you smile with a gentle wave. You turn to continue your walk before bumping into someone, stumbling backward from their force. You dust off your dress. "Excuse me," you say with a displeased expression as you look up to see a tanned-skinned man with his hair slicked back. Your lips parted in shock from such an exotic-looking man. He looked down at you with a blank expression.

"Pardon," he says in a rough voice. He leans down slightly to reach your height. "My, aren't you a rare sight," he says as leans closer. Your breath quickens as you step back a little. He picks up an apple from the stand next to you. He takes an aggressive bite as he examines you. You're at a loss for words as he analyzes you, his gaze heavy and lustful.

"Y-You're going to pay for that right," you raise an eyebrow at him and he looks down at the apple, standing up straight again. He tosses it behind him and a short and scruffy man catches it, his teeth gold and rotted as he smiles at the apple.

"And if I don't?" He crosses his arms with a little smirk. You adjust your dress and try to stand tall to him. You open your mouth to speak before stopping. "Cat got your tongue princess?" He chuckles as he looks down at you.

"You will pay for it. I command you to," you frown and cross your arms. He puts his arms down and scoffs.

"You command me to? Oh~ I'm scared," he says as he tosses a few coins to the merchant who stands there distraught.

"You should be," you say before instantly regretting your words, realizing how stupid you sound.

"Oh you're so cute," he chuckles and your cheeks grow pink. His eyes flutter down from your pink cheeks to your neck. His smirk faded to a stern look as he followed the chain around your neck, to the top of your dress, his eyes ever so slightly peering down your dress. You cover your chest and look away from him. He puts his hand on your waist and pulls you close. You gasp and put your hands on his chest. He notices a ring on your ring finger, silver with a blue gem in the center of it. He lets go of your waist and grabs your wrist, examining the ring on your finger.

You look at him sternly and he looks into your eyes. His eyes suddenly avert behind you to see a few soldiers. "I look forward to this," he smirks when the soldiers come up behind you.

"Who is this?" Herrington says in a loud voice, trying to stand his ground. You sigh and turn around to look at your Fiancé. You force a smile as you look at him.

"He's just a man I bumped into by accident," you chuckle with an innocent smile, his hand still wrapped around your wrist.

"Let go of my wife," Herrington says in a strong voice trying to intimidate the man holding you. The man scoffed and let your hand down.

"I'm not your wife," you mumble and the strange man looks at you with curious eyes. Herrington grabs you and examines you carefully.

"Are you alright Y/N?" He says as he runs his hands over your body. You look away from him.

"I'm alright," you say in a lifeless tone. Herrington holds you close to him as a soldier points a gun at the man. You look concerned as they point the gun at him.

"What's with the guns~?" He mocks as he puts his hands on his hips. "I haven't done anything wrong, I paid for my food, I conversed with the princess for a moment, and now I'm on my merry way," he says as he turns around putting his hands up.

"He's right," you nod up at Herrington.

"He's armed!" Herrington calls out and gestures to the sword case on his left hip. The man quickly grabs the sword and points it at the soldiers. The dull wooden tip pointing to their guns.

"It's wood," he chuckles. "I use it to teach kids how to use swords," he laughs and puts the sword back in its case before walking off to find his crew of men who ran away earlier. Herrington encourages you to come back with him to the castle as he reminds you to never go outside without protection. As you walk back you look down at your ring, the blue gem glistening in the sunlight.

[Time skip]

That night you lay in bed. Your hand is raised above your head as you admire the ring. A maid rolls in a tray with tea and biscuits on it. "I heard about your encounter with Seonghwa earlier today," the maid says as she waits for you to sit up. You fix your nightgown and look at her surprised.

"Seonghwa? Like the pirate?" You ask confused as she offers you the teacup.

"Yes, princess. I was told by Prince Herrington that he was holding you in the street, interrogating you," she says in a worried tone as you take a sip of your tea.

"He didn't seem like Seonghwa, I thought he was just some man," you say as you look at the specs of leaves in your tea. "He was very well dressed for a pirate," you explain before looking at the maid. She takes your cup and offers you a small plate of biscuits. "I guess that explains his inappropriate behavior," you sigh before taking a bite of the biscuit.

"Oh? If you don't mind me asking, princess, what did he do?" The maid sits next to you on the bed. You clear your throat and prepare to speak.

"He looked down the top of my chest," you say as you rub your upper chest and the maid's eyes widen.

"Oh my," she gasps. "How vile, I'm so sorry for you," she says as she places her hand on your leg comfortingly. You shrug and pick up the teacup. "Well, you need to get some rest for your big day tomorrow. I'll be in my room if you need anything," she says before wheeling the trolls back out to the hallway, closing the door behind herself. You finish your tea and look at the canvas in the corner of your room. How different things would be if you hadn't gone out today, if you hadn't got mad at your painting, what would've happened? You sigh blow out your candle and lie down.

Your mind races with the memories of Seonghwa. His eyes, his touch, his voice when he spoke to you, the way his body was drawn to you like a magnet, his lips inches from yours. You daydreamed about someday meeting him again...

[momentomori24]

Keiji is a character that I'm pretty sure every one of us can recognize is an absolute weirdo (ok maybe some are too hard on copium for the "weirdo" part) and sketchy as hell, but thinking about everything he's done it really feels like he's so much shady and ruthless than we give him credit for. So here's me bulletpointing some the moments that I haven't seen too many talk about, a little theory throwing his status into question and addressing the massive elephant in the room that almost everyone refuses to acknowledge. If there's something else you feel I missed or wanted to evaluate on, do leave it in the comments.

[Also, disclaimer: I will be discussing Keiji and Sara in a romantic light near the end of this post, so if that makes you uncomfortable please proceed with caution or skip entirely. This should go without saying but for my own sake I will say it anyway-- No, I do not condone their relationship in real life. No, this is not meant to be "shippy" or endorsement of any kind. This will simply be pointing out their dynamic as another example to prove the whole point of this rant. But if someone else does ship them that's totally fine. Fiction doesn't equal reality and if you harass a real person over fictional characters you will not see the light of heaven. Be civil, please and thank you. My block button is rated E for Everyone and if anyone decides to ignore the warnings and be an asshole I won't hesitate to use it. Thanks for listening. Disclaimer over.]

*Being a murderer.

I feel like I should start with the most obvious and undeniable. I don't think this is debatable to anyone here. Mr. Policeman may have been an accident and kinda confirmed by Midori to have been set up, but he still shot and killed an unarmed man in a moment of panic and recklessness. Even putting that aside, there's no denying that he killed Megumi in cold blood to get out of his debt to her and covered it up to the group to preserve his credibility. Regardless of what you think of Megumi, he has no excuse here. Not only is he one more kill away from being a serial killer, he's the only participant in our group that has actually killed people directly aside from Alice. Another reason why I bring this up is cuz something that completely flew over my head is this:

At the start of the game he had the audacity to complain about not having a partner or someone he knows with him like Sara does as if he didn't literally let Megumi get ripped apart by chains probably not even an hour ago Keiji what the hell--

*Throwing Kanna under the bus repeatedly.

Despite positioning himself as a protector and someone to rely on, he's far from above putting their youngest members in danger. Next to voting for the fourteen year old girl to die, he had the great idea of letting said fourteen year old be the one to babysit their biggest liability. Up to the point where they would stay in the same room both day and night. While I absolutely 100% trust that Sou would never EVER do anything to her, Keiji had no guarantee of that when he send her off. Hell, he literally just got done accusing Sou of setting Joe up to die (which I don't believe almost solely based on the fact that he said it, more on that another time maybe). He knew Sou was bad news, and openly acknowledges how adults can be terrifying, but he did it anyway. The dubiety of throwing the already traumatised little girl to keep watch on what they thought to be the most dangerous adult that had manipulated her once before is not lost on me, and that he didn't take any responsibility for her afterwards isn't lost on me either. To be fair, the Sou and Kanna thing doesn't just fall on him, it falls on everybody (Alice gets a pass because he actually swapped out with Kanna to watch Sou for her), but he was the one with the final say on the matter and who encouraged her to take the role despite Reko's rightful protests. The fact that he also voted for her to die in the Main Game, and is the only adult to do so, doesn’t help his case.

*Attempting to frame Sou knowing Reko was actually responsible.

While you could argue he was trying to cover for her since he knew why she did what she did, trying to pin this act on Sou to cast more doubt on his is extremely shitty. Never mind the blatant corruption and the irony of a supposed man of the law abusing his power to knowingly frame an innocent person (in this situation at least), and him sowing more seeds of confusion and resentment within an already rattled group, and giving Sou legitimate reason to be suspicious of him (and by extension Sara)-- this makes it so difficult to trust him after realising he's done this. Literally every time he accuses someone of being or doing something suspicious (mostly Sou), I always have to think in the back of my head if he’s telling the truth or just telling a blatant lie. He's shown that he's willing to not only lie to cover for himself, but to lie to delegitimize someone else. And Sara never caught onto it (Sou and maybe even Nao likely did tho). She never openly acknowledged it-- No one did. The complete lack of mention of what he did here makes this action quite missable. Hell, I didn't even catch it the first time. Has he done this before? Who else has he lied about? Who else would he lie about? Who else would he knowingly pit against the group? You don't have to wait for that answer, because I will provide an example later. And with "later", I mean now.

*Casting suspicion on Gin before the vote while hiding the fact that he killed Megumi.

While it's not as blatant as with Kanna, there are two instances where Keiji shows a readiness to either put or leave Gin in harm's way. The biggest one for me is in the Main Game. Like, how dare you. That is a furry child, sir. This kid’s like TWELVE. Even though he makes a valid point about calling out suspicious actions to clear them up so we can all trust each other, casting doubt on Gin of all people right there feels pretty screwed to me. This was before the preliminary vote. His words could’ve very well gotten Gin voted for if he couldn’t disclose why he did what he did for whatever reason and therefore being unable to clear himself from suspicion. It’s even more fucked when you realise that Keiji has literally murdered his partner and is currently planning to get Sou killed while giving this whole spiel about doubting others so that we can believe them and pointing the finger at a little kid to make an example to the group. But when Nao, Sou and Sara call him out on his suspicious actions that could rightfully damage his credibility, he tries to shut them down completely. My brother in Christ, you brought it on FIRST (don’t get me wrong I’m very much aware he didn’t really mean the whole “trusting each other” bit but come on dude)--

Speaking about not meaning what he says:

*Letting the group think he’s Ok to vote for knowing he’s the Keymaster.

This kinda got to me because I thought this was Keiji actually being… vulnerable? Accepting the consequences of his actions and allowing them to vote for him in their distrust without protest even tho it could cost him his life, maybe. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I can’t remember a lot of times-- or any times, really-- where Keiji has willing put himself into the line of fire, at this point at least. He always finds a way to keep himself safe, give himself insurance, and I thought that this would be the one time he doesn’t do that. But this feels so ominous looking back knowing that he was the Keymaster the whole time. That our distrust and betrayal and his resignation to it all didn’t matter because he was going to be safe no matter what. That he knowingly allowed us to assume that he was a safe vote because he didn’t want his plan to kill Sou to be ruined, which narrowed down choice of people we can safely vote for even further. That this action is ultimately the reason why Sou and Kanna were our only options to kill off in the end. If he had admitted it there, we could’ve found someone else to vote for so our final options could consist of three people, not two. But he didn’t, and the rest is history. There’s a lot of things he’s done I can’t get over. This one ranks pretty high. The second Main Game is already a huge sore spot for me for obvious reasons; knowing that a lot of the things that happened were due to his inaction where it truly mattered and activity in all the wrong places doesn’t make me fee any better. He didn't say he was a safe vote-- he didn't lie-- but his words carefully omit that voting for him means a total party death, something he should've stated then (and before this, really).

*Leaving Sara with the sacrifice card.

Despite making a big show about “always being by her side” and being her “reliable policeman”, he chose to look away when she was in real danger. He attached himself to her as her right hand man, made her shoulder the responsibility of being the leader, constantly manipulated and flattered her to win her trust and gain her favour-- but when she needed him the most, he basically left her for dead because it was the most beneficial to him. Keep in mind that not only did he know about her getting the sacrifice (he was also the sage so he'd have seen the trade happen), but he had the tokens to help her get rid of it. But those tokens weren’t for her life. They were for his. He used them instead to give himself the Keymaster as insurance for the Main Game (the Keymaster he stole from Sou/Kanna most likely to buy Sara’s trust btw). His desperation for survival outweighed his sense of obligation to keep her safe, and that’s the most subtle yet transparent he’s been about his selfishness. What makes this so much worse is that Keiji is our support character. He’s an ally, and our closest one at that, to the point where Sara burned her hands in a futile attempt to rescue him and signed her life away to save his. And yet his loyalty and protectiveness pale in comparison to other characters. Compare his actions to Sou’s: one of their many parallels and similarities is that both their girls get hit with the sacrifice card. As we’ve established, Keiji was fully aware of Sara being send the sacrifice by Sou, had 50 tokens ready to go and chose to secure his own survival than save her life. Kanna ended up doing it instead, attempting to trade the card off Sara with Sou realising what happened immediately. And what does Sou do? Completely bend over backwards trying to keep her alive. He lied about being the Sacrifice so the others wouldn’t suspect Kanna of having that role, meaning he could try gathering vote for her without anyone seeing his true intentions. He tried to stop her about coming out with the truth of what she had done so she doesn’t sentence herself to death. After everything he did to survive-- after how much he lied, how much he schemed, how much he hurt, and how he had thrown himself away to replace everything that made him Shin with the man that had traumatised him years before the game began to scrape together even the tiniest chance to survive-- he threw it all to the wind and was willing to let it all be in vain if it meant she got to make it out of the Main Game alive. The worst part is that Sou had never intended to make it through that Main Game. He confessed to already knowing that Kanna would choose Sara over him if she truly had the Sacrifice card. Yet he still did what he did all in the hopes that she could win. Because it was all about her survival first, not about them surviving together.

It also gives a different context to Sou's panic and him stumbling over his words trying to come up with any argument to get them to stop. At first I thought that Sou was afraid for his life. Which would make sense-- Keiji and Q-taro set him up to die and seemed pretty adamant on having everyone voting for him to get it all over with. But he was already prepared to die the minute he realised Kanna traded with Sara. So it means it wasn’t his life he was fearing for here-- it was hers. To him, if they voted for him there, it wouldn’t have just been his end but hers too. But we know that Kanna isn’t the one who has the sacrifice. It’s Nao, and considering how the Main Game can end either or both of them dead, I wonder if he regrets not having given up there, not letting Keiji get away with that shitty stunt he pulled knowing it would’ve at least guaranteed her safety than leave her fate in hands of a girl with enough reason to kill her. Ignoring the sounds of my heart shattering into pieces for the 100th time thinking about the Greenblings, it’s so fascinating that our biggest rival and most distrusted member has a greater sense of loyalty and responsibility for his ally than Keiji has for his own. Sou can be a liar and manipulative and selfish, but for how unpredictable he is something I can always trust is his love for those he holds dear (Kanna) and general desire to protect our most vulnerable (Gin). Sou loves Kanna, and so he’s fine with protecting her even if it comes at a price he never wanted to pay. Keiji surely cares about Sara, but unfortunately that is something I can’t say about him-- at least at that time (also the fact that Sou ended up taking more care and responsibility for Kanna despite Keiji having been the one to throw her on him in the first is so ironic).

*Continuously pushing Sara to take on the role of leader.

I think one of Keiji's biggest failures in the game come from his treatment of Sara despite positioning himself as her most reliable ally and her partner. From the very get-go, he was very adamant of making Sara be the one to shoulder the responsibility of the group. He, along with Joe (he didn't do anything wrong here), pushed Sara to be the Challenger during the Russian Roulette, despite Q-taro and Kai being readily available. He made Sara be the one to interrogate the suspicious convict while distancing himself from the situation. And he encourages her to lead them through the Main Game, lets her make the choices that steer them all forward and as a consequence take the fall for them as well. Rather than take on the role himself, or let another adult take it, he places his full trust in her and makes her shoulder everyone's weight so he doesn't have to. And he can see the effect it has on her: having horrific hallucinations due to the immense guilt she feels. But having Sara as their leader gives him a greater shot at survival and helps his credibility, so even though he tries to provide her comfort he still continues to keep her in that role. Again, the high schooler taking responsibility for the adults falls on a lot of the older people here, but Keiji was the one who kickstarted it rather than just go along with it like everyone else had. Gin, Nao, Kanna, Reko and even fucking Sou to an extent all have moments where they take the burden off her and relieve her of that pain she shoulders all the time (or at least try to). I need Keiji to take more responsibility for both the group and for her.

*Pitting Sara and Joe against each other.

This is just another example of the previous point. This isn't as bad, and I could give him the benefit of the doubt that this might have not been intentional, but it's something I want to bring up regardless. I'll be the first to say that Keiji wasn't wrong here. Prying into everyone's votes is a very bad move, especially since no one knew that Mishima would actually die (it was introduced as a practice round, after all). I agree with him, Joe was being rash, but instead of leaving the conversation there, he decided to throw Sara into it to pick a side. Which is... not good. He already won the argument and already had Reko on his side. Bringing in Sara could not only make Joe feel worse and potentially strain their relationship (especially if she rightfully chooses Keiji's side like he was expecting and hoping for), but just puts Sara in the spotlight during something she doesn't want to be part of. While there's a chance he might've done this because he know Joe is more likely to listen to her than him, he should've known better than that. It again makes her take the responsibility of giving the final verdict that would've otherwise gone to him.

*Asking Sara to take responsibility for his life

I've got nothing other that the grown adult swearing his life to the grieving, unstable teenager to take responsibility for while asking her if she'd die along with him is weird as heck. Keiji's said weirder things prior to this, but this one is a different weird. I think Beanieman's post mostly echoes my thoughts on this on, so I'll link it here for this point. This part kinda bothers me:

He shouldn't be encouraging her taking on anymore responsibility than she already is. He knows that the deaths that happened under her leadership haunt her. He knows that she's very much unstable enough already, to the point where he takes baby-steps to avoid triggering her trauma over Joe. He positioned himself as her reliable partner, her rock to lean on (quite literally sometimes). We see first hand how emotionally dependent she is on him. If he died, it would destroy her-- she'd destroy herself over it. He knows this (or should) but he still does it. His disappointment and dismissiveness when she understandably rejects him makes it worse. The guilt of potentially not living up to his expectations is not what she needs.

*Potentially working for Asunaro

This is more ambiguous than everything else here and more a theory than anything but it's been on my mind for a long time that Ranmaru might actually be onto something here. We know that Asunaro has a strong hold on the police. Midori was able to infiltrate the force, and they were able to get rid of Mr. Policeman for looking into the corruption going on, first having Megumi fire him and secondly getting Keiji to kill him by planting false info about the suspect having a gun. Megumi was also able to get Keiji off the hook for murder, which I believe Asunaro had a hand in too (I theorize this might've been her wish). There's also Alice, who was arrested and sent to prison despite the fact that he (legally) didn't kill anyone since Midori was a doll. The police are connected to Asunaro-- by extension Megumi and extending further potentially Keiji.

Something I've seen someone rightfully point out is that neither of the options you're given to say in response to the accusation... actually deny it? Both choices dance around answering directly, which is suspect as fuck. If Keiji truly wasn't with Asunaro, why not shut that theory down immediately? There's no benefit to answering anything but "no" when he's innocent, and he's lied straight to people's faces for less. So why not just debunk it? I think it's cuz there might be some truth to what Ranmaru was saying here. The biggest reason I think this is because despite the fact that Keiji quit the force, he and Megumi were still associating with each other years later. They were kidnapped together and partnered up for their first trial. One missable piece of dialogue is Keiji admitting that he was with his partner-- or rather a "coworker"-- before getting knocked out.

That slip of the tongue and backtracking makes me believe this part to be true. Him switching from "my partner" to "a coworker", which is a lot more distant and impersonal, makes me think it's got to be Megumi. However, I don't believe that Keiji would wanna keep in touch with her after what happened willingly, so I can only imagine that it's due to that debt he has to her. My little game theory here is that after the shooting, the debt he owed her was a forced recruitment into Asunaro. It's the only thing I can imagine he meant by "the worst kind of debt", a debt he'd literally let her die for to get out of. And if this is true, then it could also explain away his instant attachment to Sara, since he'd know beforehand that she's someone he can depend on due to her having the highest chance at survival. Maybe he already knew about her beforehand, one way or the other. We know Hayasaka did (which I think we as a fandom moved on from way too fast btw). Kai and Sou did too. There's always a chance. And unlike Sou's victory rate and Midori's favourite number, it's not zero. One person made a comic about this idea I recommend checking it out, it's tastefully unsettling. But still very much unsetling and uncomfortale. Be warned that it's also Keisara-centred, so if that makes you even more uncomfortable they did the job right you can ignore it. Proceed with caution or don't read if you don't like.

*Being a predator

I have been waiting so long for this one XD For context: a while ago I made a longpost discussing the sanitisation of soushin and this kind of toxic attitudes in fandoms regarding "problematic content" (ships, characters, shows, you name it). In it, I mentioned that it's not only soushin that receives this treatment but a certain other dynamic too. It's not a rainy day, however this has been way overdue and if I don't get this done now I never will.

Something I've seen a lot, and I mean a LOT-LOT is this notion that Keiji acts "like a father" to Sara and that their relationship is a completely platonic father-daughter bond and that he's the resident dad of the group? Like, it's cute, but that's not at all what their relationship is. At all. Not even a little bit. We called Sou and Kanna siblings before the Greenblings reveal. The difference is that not only does half the fandom think this man is gay, but he's only ever been protective and caring and loving without any romantic intentions towards Kanna ever. His title as her brother was deserved, based on the genuine affection and platonic protectiveness similar to that of Alice's. Keiji has made advances tho, on many occasions, and his flirting is repeatedly acknowledged by other characters. Namely Sou and Reko.

(Sou grills him for being a creep every chance he gets I love him XD) But yeah, these are not the type of reactions and comments you receive when being a "father-figure" to the teenager. You get all this when you hit on the teenager. Which he does all the time by calling her "cute" every time she asks something and his "cute little detective", swearing himself to her by saying that "he's always on her side" or something like that, asking her if she'd die alongside him, repeatedly claiming or insinuating that they're on a date, or ""having a moment"" and going to ""take the next step"" when in private (*cough* groomer *cough*)-- you name it, he likely said it. He's a walking-talking ladykiller machine and teenage girls aren't safe, apparently.

(Quick note: The dialogue for the Russian Roulette one is a tad different now. In the new translation he says "cause you're so darn cute" now. I dunno if that makes it sound any less weird, but I felt like putting that out there. What I'm also putting out there is that according to the trivia he calls her cute 8 times throughout the game so. Yeah. *Cough* groomer *COUGH COUGH*)

Like, who tf says this?? Especially that last part 💀 Even if you wanna die on the hill that these are supposed to be "jokes" not to be taken seriously, we should all be able to agree that the (ex)police officer in his late 20s jokingly hitting on the high schooler he follows around is still weirdo behaviour at best and down right despicable at worst. The fandom seeing lowkey predatory/inappropriate behaviour from a figure of authority persistent for almost three entire chapters and dismissing it as "fatherly" and "platonic" is, well, concerning. It's very concerning. If your dad acts like Keiji, you should probably call the police. Unfortunately for Sara, Keiji is the police. And considering this guy got away with manslaughter, I don't think said police would do anything anywho. But yeah-- he uses flattery and flirting to distract her from prodding to much at him while simultaneously aiming to gain favour in her eyes. He showers her with reassurance of his loyalty and affirmation of his deeper attachment towards her and her alone every chance he gets to cement his position as her closest and most trustworthy ally. He insinuates a romantic partnership between them to others to mostly keep her to himself or the two of them alone (he always does that when they're investigating or going to investigate by themselves). There's such an obvious romantic undertone to their relationship and his actions that it going almost completely ignored in the fandom feels weird to me.

I want to make clear that there's nothing wrong with headcanoning Keiji as a father figure to Sara. It's cute. Keiji didn't have a dad himself, and the closest thing to a father figure he had was the man he shot dead. He's a damaged and hardened guy. But Sara's dad is involved with Asunaro and Gin's is an alcoholic, and in a situation where they both need guidence and protection he tries his best to grow and change, fumbling to become that decent father none of them got to have. It's nice, and a wholesome dynamic for our "characters with memorandum counterparts and only non-determined deaths" trio. But that's obviously not what their dynamic is. There's a difference between headcanoning something and erasing canon and the Yttd fandom leans heavily into the latter. Keiji's a creep, he always has been, yet 90% of people I see always portray him as a Mr. Dad Guy or completely sanitise him to hell when him being creepy and unnerving to be around is what made him such a fascinating character. Just like I said with Soushin, the sanitisation to make canon more digestible is one thing: harassing or insulting the people that explore canon is another. I'm gonna take a bullet, derail this rant and say it-- Keisara shippers get so much shit for literally being right it's so infuriating. Keiji does hit on Sara, a lot. He's creepy and weird like that. Him flirting with her isn't a "mistranslation" or a joke or anything like that; his dubious wording and antics are very much intentional. Yet the only people I see actually addressing and acknowledging that without adding fluff is keisara shippers and other ""proshippers"" only for them to get fucking sniped for it I cannot 💀💀 I have yet to meet a single eastern fan who calls this cop "fatherly". This really feels like such a western issue cuz the majority of the japanese fandom agrees that this man's a predator (correct me if i'm wrong but keisara is the most popular ship in the japanese side of the fandom, right?). Then again, eastern fandoms are more chill over there when it comes to separating fiction and reality in general anywho.

*Yeah, I think I'm done with the Keiji slander. Yay. Time to unceremoniously end this.

There's more to say about that, but this is a Keiji post, not another shipping discourse post (although it's hard discussing Keiji's predatory behaviour without bringing it up too). Before I do spiral from the original point, I'm going to try and reach some sort of conclusion here. While I did spent the majority of this post just reading Keiji to filth, and am very salty towards him in particular, this was not just to rake him through mud for my own sanity (tho it's part of it XD). Keiji's character is that he started off as someone who wanted to do the right thing, someone who wanted to be good and moral and protect others by joining the force only to kill all the progress he made along with the person who inspired him to become an officer in the first place. It heavily contrasts the Keiji we have now, a sleazy, unreliable and corrupt ex detective who flirts with underage girls and is willing to resort to the most bankrupt of decisions to save himself. A man that has long lost hope of his wounds healing that he lets them fester and his rot spread onto others. And while I headcanon Keiji to just inherently be a piece of shit, his former self tried his best to be genuinely good before he became so convinced he can never be better that he made peace with his shittiness in the end.

With all this I wanted to highlight some the shadier and bankrupt things he's done that I haven't seen much discussion around and refresh myself on them before the final part. Both so no matter how emotionally dependent and therefore rose-tinted Sara is about the man I don't forget what he's actually like and what he's done while also being able to appreciate how much he's changed for the better. Some of my favourite examples about how he's changed are these:

Before the second Main Game Keiji was willing to let Sara and Kanna die because it was the most beneficial option for him, but in Chapter 3 he takes the on the role of "it" from Kanna and refuses to tag Sara when he thought he was gonna die after failing to beat Midori.

Actually showing more sympathy towards Sou after the Main Game. He was very mean about dismantling his pretence of a cold front to Kanna's death, don't get me wrong, but he showed a lot more consideration and understanding for Sou's feelings and acknowledgement about his active role in it than he ever had beforehand.

He was genuinely fighting for everyone to survive the game, not just himself. While Keiji would prefer everyone making it out safely, he has a tendency to guarantee his own survival first through any means necessary. His plan to corner Midori in the banquet could've cost him his life if it weren't for Q-taro's final stunt, yet he still reassured Sara to save Gin even tho it could've resulted in his execution from Meister potentially finding him guilty of violating the rules.

Him hugging Mai and trying to be more cheerful was cute as heck. I'm sorry but him showing more vulnerability around his allies and being less closed off in a way he hasn't been before is something I'm very head empty about. That he was hugging and interacting with Mai without making any unwanted advances or ladykiller jokes and generally just having a more friendly vibe was nice. It makes his creeping on Sara more unfortunate, but I'll take what I can for now. The bar is in hell.

And that's it, I think. Overall, I hope they do address some of his actions here in the final part or make them have an impact on his and Sara's relationship. Especially that Asunaro part. The person who wished for Sara to join the death game is still unknown and so is Keiji's consent form wish (same goes for the Dummies, Hinako and Megumi), so I'm curious if they're related or not. If he's going to go down an even darker path or redeem himself as much as he can we'll see when the final part drops. He has the potential to go both ways. This is going to be kinda awkward if the next part reveals him to have been a decent guy all along, so hopefully that doesn't happen. Please be morally bankrupt, man. This post didn't end up the way I wanted it to, nor bring up as many points as I would've liked, but I know I won't finish it if I went full perfectionist on it (I already spent months on this writer's block do be a bitch) and it's looking kinda long already. Hopefully it's still decent enough as is right now. I'd like to say that this is my apology for the last longpost I made, but I brought up one of the most controversial and hated ships and traits of Keiji's character and defended them, so maybe I shouldn't 🙃 Anywho, hope you enjoyed and cheerio.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Anonymous asked: Sorry if this is a stupid question, but is it okay if I just say fuck it and write something "poorly written" on purpose?

[Ask edited for length]

I'm going to try to tackle this question in parts, because it's actually a quite good question with a complex answer. So, bear with me...

The answer to "is it okay to write something 'poorly written' depends on two things: the chosen definition of "poorly written" and your intentions with the work.

Defining "Poorly Written" - What does and doesn't qualify as "poorly written" is largely subjective, meaning that it's different for everyone and every situation. There are certainly things that fall into a more objective category... like, if your work is riddled with typos and bad grammar, that will be broadly seen as "bad writing." But, just because a few people say something on the internet doesn't make it broadly true. When you see advice on the internet like "if your character holds important information back from the reader until the end, that's bad writing," don't just assume that's true. Dig into it. Research it. Verify it on multiple reliable sources. If you can find that same advice coming from multiple reliable sources (see below) it's probably broadly true and something you should strongly consider if you want your work to be broadly successful. You can break a "rule" here and there, but be mindful about it.

Some of my favorite reliable sources for writing advice: K.M. Weiland/Helping Writers Become Authors, Joanna Penn/The Creative Penn, Writers Helping Writers/Angela Ackerman/Becca Puglisi, Jane Friedman, Advanced Fiction Writing, Chuck Wendig/Terribleminds, Kristen Kieffer/Well-Storied, Mignon Fogarty/Grammar Girl, Nathan Bransford, Abbie Emmons/Make Your Story Matter, Bethany Atazadeh, Brittany Wang

Your Intentions with the work: obviously, if you're writing for yourself or a small group of friends, just for fun and entertainment, do what you want. If you're writing with the intention of publishing and you want your work to do well, you do need to mostly stick to the "rules" that are known to work on broad levels.

The reason you see advice like, "all dialogue should serve a purpose," is because it's understood that broadly-speaking, most readers don't enjoy dialogue that is obviously fluff and serves no purpose, for the same reason that your eyes glaze over when you're in a group of friends and someone starts telling a long and irrelevant story about some minor inconvenience they had the other day. People don't like their time being wasted, and if you force your reader to read two pages of your characters having a completely irrelevant conversation about fashion, you're going to lose the reader's interest.

I see a lot of advice like, "If your characters know important information that they don't tell the audience until the end, that's bad writing..."

Part of the problem with advice that you see from random people on the internet is that, quite often, they see a bit of broad and reliable advice, but when they repeat it, they strip it of a lot of the additional information that makes it true. This bit of "advice" is a great example of that, because there's a lot of detail missing. For example, having a character withhold information from the reader is fine to a degree (this is called an unreliable narrator), but there needs to be some indication early on that the reader isn't getting the whole story. There need to be other clues the reader can pick up on throughout the story that makes them question whether or not they're getting the whole truth from the reader. Otherwise it comes off like the writer dropped it into the story at the very end for convenience or drama's sake.

Others I've seen are "If your character has a backstory that's not 100% relevent to the plot, you need to cut it"

Stories can be plot-driven (more about the plot than the characters), character-driven (more about the characters than the plot), or a combination of both (where both have equal importance.)

If you're writing a story that is partially or fully character-driven, who your character is--and how they got to be that person--is one of the most important aspects of the story. Not only because it helps the reader understand why your character is where they are when the story starts and why things need to change, but it helps explain why they make the decisions they make, who and what's important to them, why it's important for them to reach their goal, and gives us a starting point for how they're going to change throughout the story. It's their backstory that is going to build all of that up for the reader.

Backstory explains your character's important life experiences up to the start of the story. So, there is no point in going into detail about the two years your character lived on a beach in New Zealand if that experience didn't play a role in who they are at the start of the story. It just becomes useless information that serves no purpose and clutters up the story for the reader.

Or "Here's why this trope is boring and overdone and why you should remove it"

Advice about tropes and cliches are often opinion-based, because for every person who says "love triangles are dumb and here's why you shouldn't do them" you'll find people who say "I only read books featuring love triangles."

The key thing to remember with tropes is that when you read they're tired and overdone (which makes them cliches), it's fine to use them, just find a way to put a new spin on them. Find out how the trope is typically used and do something different.

And now I just feel awful. I feel like the entire premise of my story is just complete trash and I need to scrap it and start over. I feel like I need to remove everything that I actually want in a story so that it's "correct".

You definitely don't need to do that. Again, take random internet advice with a grain of salt. If it's something you're really concerned about, try to verify it on multiple reliable sites. If you can't, you're probably fine. If you can, those sites will probably also offer alternatives or ways you can fix the problem.

I'm self publishing, does it actually matter?

YES. FULL STOP.

If you are planning to self-publish but are not going to take the time to make sure you're putting the best book out there you can, you are only hurting legitimate self-published authors who do put in the effort to make sure they're putting out their best work.

Having said that...

Will people really read my story and go, "Oh dear, these characters didn't just pop into existence as soon as the plot started! They actually existed and did things before the story takes place!?

No, probably not, but that's because this is a really dramatic interpretation of the advice that backstory should be relevant.

Again, the reader doesn't give two shits that your character spent a year backpacking through the Alps unless that experience played a role in who they are when the story begins. If they had good or bad experiences during that trip, learned things, met people who matter later, etc., then that becomes plot relevant. But, if you can remove this bit of backstory from the story completely and it has no impact on who the character is or the reader's understanding of the character, then it doesn't belong there. Period. Again, the reader doesn't want to have their time wasted, so they don't want to read story after story of your character's time in the Alps if it doesn't matter.

Or "Look, and now they're having a silly conversation and talking to each to her about things unrelated to the plot! And that guy has a pet cat that's never used for anything! This is awful, poorly written trash!"

Again, this is an overly dramatic interpretation of the very solid advice that dialogue needs to matter.

That doesn't mean that every single word uttered needs to be blatantly plot-relevant, but truly, broadly-speaking, readers don't want to read an eight-paragraph argument about which pizza place has better pizza in your character's town unless this argument is in some way relevant to the story. You may be an exception to that rule... you may love to read stories that meander and have a lot of fluffy dialogue and pointless scenes, but you're in the minority, and in that case, you might be better off posting your work to someplace like your blog or Wattpad where you can use tags to find the small segment of other readers who like to read original fiction fluff.

But... the bottom line is that I don't think your story is in as bad of shape (broadly-speaking) as you think it is. Writing advice can feel very, very personal, especially when we see it from randos in internet threads who can't tell the difference between fact and opinion. So, don't take it to heart. Do some research on reliable sites, and if you can't find a bit of advice mentioned, it's probably nothing to worry about. If it is mentioned, they're probably going to tell you how to fix it without scrapping everything you've already written.

Truly, no worries! ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[aitadjcrazytimes]

It's been a good run

But it's time to bring this to a close!

The saga is over, C, T and I are all together. T and I are in the swing of it, C approves as much as it is possible for him to approve of anything, everyone knows about the blog and is chill.

C is back at his rightful place of walking his sister down the aisle.

I'm getting everything I want, and we're all free to make each other miserable until the day we die.

I'm not going to be updating this blog anymore! Nobody else involved with the situation will be submitting any more AITA posts either, because they are either not on tumblr or agreed it would be annoying.

I will say that there is some stuff on here that I've alluded to that isn't necessarily 100% in the spirit of things, so I've included some stuff below the cut for the folks who have caught onto that. I would not suggest reading it if you like how all of this played out and want to keep it that way. I know that's incredibly vague, but I'm not sure how to phrase it without making it weird?

Thank you all for listening and talking to me over the past few days! That's where I'm leaving it!

...

...

...

...Is everyone who wants to keep believing in the disaster polycule gone? Yes? OK!

So, this was fake. I made up the whole thing. TK and C and T and everyone else are fictional characters. Did I lie? Yes. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Q: All of it? Even the og AITA post? The followup AITA post? The screenshots?

A: All of it.

Q: Wh... Why did you do this...?

A: Well, first this all started as a Red vs Blue fanfic for the ship Chexer (Church/Tex/Tucker)-

It started as a fanfic for Chexer. However, I was already working on a different fanfic for RVB that was totalling about 15k words at this point (+ at least 90k to go), and I knew I would never have the time or energy to write this one. I thought: yknow. this would be really funny as an aita post.

Q: It was a fanfic of a Halo fanfic series.

A: Yep!

So, I submitted Tucker's perspective. I did not expect for it to get more than maybe 100 notes at most. I totally thought someone would call it out right away.

The funny part is, if I'd dedicated all this energy to a fic instead of this blog, I'd probably have about 15-20 thousand words of fic already, but whatever, can't ruin my personal day!

Also, I wanted to see how many people would figure it out/how long it would take for it to become too obvious that this was a fandom thing. I was dropping names and RvB lore since the beginning. A few people did figure it out, and I DMed them in private to let them know.

Q: But why make the blog then?

A: Because I love to lie and be a nuisance to the general populace! <3

It was always my intent to wait until Carolina's perspective got posted (i am honestly still shocked i got away with "Carey/Georgia/West Virginia/Alabama/Miss Louisiana 1988"), let it simmer for about a day, then come clean. Which is what I'm doing now!

The reason I'm coming clean now instead of dragging it out is because I don't want anyone to feel stupid or like they got duped. You're not stupid! You were a part of this story! This was, as one anon said, a creative writing project. It was a collaboration! Thank you so much for helping me!

That said, I'm sorry to anyone that finds this disappointing! I had a blast doing this, but I will not be doing it again. I have gotten my fill. I have had my taste of being an influencer, and now I can go on with my life without ever feeling like I need to start a youtube channel.

Q: How did you keep up with a consistent timeline?

A: I didn't, especially at first. But in my time as a liar who lies about things, I have found that usually people are willing to believe you when you say "yeah, i lied about that".

Q: Wait, what about the thing with your kid?

A: Yeah, I fucked up on this one. In the other fic I was/am writing, Tucker was around 33. So, when I was saying what Junior's age was, I subtracted it from 33 and got 18. It wasn't until I was showing my partner the blog and they said "Wait, he had his kid at 13??????" that I realized I had fucked up. Oops!

Q: Was it really ALL fake?

A: For the most part. I will say that I did actually drop chocolate cake all over my tits that one time and had to shower by myself like a fucking loser. That one was true. I did also get my nails done for the first time ever, which did actually affect my typing. And I am in a band (but so is Tucker, canonically)! There are a few other things as well, but I don't want to list all of them.

Q: DID you ever read homestuck?

A: Nope. And I never will.

Even the title, though I will say that the title I came up with was "Leonard "Alpha Bitch" Church's Decidedly Not Lo-Fi Beats to Get Nasty and Get Clean To: The Movie"

Q: So there was never a combination sex/bathtime playlist?

A: Maybe! But perhaps more accurately: the combination sex/bathtime playlist was inside of you all along. You can make it. There are only three songs on there that are canon to the lore of this blog. Those are No Children by The Mountain Goats, Take It Out On Me by Thousand Foot Krutch, and one unknown song from the album Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV by Coheed and Cambria (Yep, the call was coming from inside the house, I gave Church my music taste). I had intended this to be Wake Up, but it's out of my hands now. The rest is yours to fill in.

Q: What's your main blog, so I can follow you?

A: Hi, this is aitadjcrazytimes. You're not getting that.

Q: Your AO3 handle?

A: Nope, not that either.

You will never find me. And that's the way I want it. You will see me in every blog. Every new follower. Every stranger you meet on the street. You will look into your discord kitten's eyes, and you will absently wonder if he was the one behind aitadjcrazytimes. And you will never know for certain.

Q: But-

A: Let me live on in your memory. The only person who knows both who I am and the fact that I did this is my partner, who is not into RvB or commonly on tumblr. I am not a RvB blog. I am not a writing blog. I am a nobody on the fringes of tumblr society who's been here long enough to know how to remain in the shadows.

And, even if you do manage to find me, against all odds:

No one will ever believe you.

I am closing my askbox. I am also closing my messages. If you have anything to say to Tucker or Me (tumblr user aitadjcrazytimes), you are welcome to do so in the replies or reblogs, but you will not be receiving an answer. I'll keep this blog up for anyone that wants to go through after the fact and do a deep dive or what have you.

Thanks to everyone who made this into the wild ride it was! Live long and get fucked or whatever! Xoxo <3

[bennie-jerry]

My Beef with Wanda Maximoff - An MCU Rant

Sorry not sorry, I will ride the Wanda-ain't-shiitake train till the wheels are worn out. I do not care what her fangirls say. And if you're legitimately going to be so overly offended just from me disliking a FICTIONAL character, I highly suggest you click off, make some tea, and watch a Ghibli movie.

How many times does it need to be said? Just because someone suffers from some form of (small or big) trauma, IT DOESN’T GIVE THEM A PASS TO DO EVIL SH—

I really REALLY sincerely hope there's lore or bits I'm missing here (and if so, PLEASE tell me because I WANT to be wrong so BAD). But from what I know and remember, I feel as though I have every right to be disgusted with who Wanda is as a person.

It frustrates me so much how this carmine-colored narcissist will whine about people being scared of her, but she does stuff only a scary person WOULD do.

Purposefully setting the Hulk off so you could use him as a wrecking ball on innocent civilians in Johannesburg during Age of Ultron? Seems scary as heck.

Literally warping the universe itself to hunt and kill a teenager who did nothing to you during Multiverse of Madness? Seems scary as heck.

Brainwashing an ENTIRE town JUST so you can live in delusion about your man not being dead during Wandavision? Seems DOUBLE scary as heck.

Don't even try to defend what she did in Age of Ultron. Even if she supposedly didn't INTEND to have civilians killed, she sure as HECK didn't seem all too sorry that it happened. She wasn't ‘regretful’ that she did it. She was only ‘regretful' when Bruce confronted her on it. She has the nerve (the utter AUDACITY) to hate Tony Stark for the same CRAP that she does (if not worse, which let's be honest—it’s worse).

At least Tony Stark DIED out of an effort to save everyone, whereas Wanda usually tends to only help others when it benefits HER.

Wanda is nothing more than a Multiversal brat with a god-complex and no one can tell me otherwise. If something does not go 100% her way, she completely acts out and throws a reality-warping tantrum.

“Oh, but she tried to fix everything in Wandavision!”

Yeah, only after finding out she was BRAINWASHING people!

How the FREAK do you reality warp an ENTIRE town (especially at the large radius she used her magic) and expect NO one to be under mind control? Would you NOT try to fly around the premises to see if ANYONE else was there?

Once again, even if this was an example where she didn't INTEND for it to happen, then that proves another great flaw that she has.

Wanda hardly (if ever) thinks through her actions. And then when her actions bite her in the butt, she has the nerve to be surprised. Wanda almost never (and I'm being generous here) considers how her actions harm or affect others until it turns around and affects HER.

She did not deserve Vision, he was too good of a man for her, sorry not sorry.

Just the stuff she did BEFORE Multiverse of Madness ALONE is enough to not like her.

Let's not even get into the fact she never ACTUALLY apologized to Bruce Banner for everything she put him through. All she said at most when he confronted her is, “I know you're angry…”

Oh wow, REALLY? I couldn't POSSIBLY understand why Banner would EVER be angry at you for essentially brain-raping him (going into his mind and memories without his CONSENT) and using his worst fears against him to trigger Hulk so you could use him like a personal killing machine, further lessening the very few support systems he already HAD. She should feel grateful Banner didn't immediately throw her through a wall upon seeing her.

“But she became an avenger and helped them in Endgame!”

I could not give less of a DOOKIE about the fact she did that. Wanda fighting Thanos was literally the ONLY option she possibly had if she didn't wanna turn into dust along with the other half of the population. Sure, she also did it because she was forced to kill her boo BECAUSE of Thanos, but let's be honest—she would've had to fight him regardless. Her handing Thanos’ butt to him (while a very cool scene) doesn't prove JACK about her character.

The fact she ever BECAME an avenger after effectively traumatizing the MAJORITY of them is mind-boggling to me.

“Oh, I'm sorry I weaponized all of your traumas against you for my own personal gain because I wanted to work with a genocidal robot, can I join you guys?”

“Sure, Wanda! Come into the team and we'll pretend like you didn't do a darn thing!”

(The fact this isn't even ALL that she's done is absurd, I can still keep going—)

Don't even get me STARTED on Multiverse of Madness. And before anyone tries to say, “She did it so she could have a reality with her children!”

BRO, HER KIDS WEREN'T EVEN FREAKING REAL—

Wanda Freaking Maximoff wanted to murder a TEENAGER all for some children that were not even ACTUAL people. And when she did have them, didn't she make them FIGHT against the military in Wandavision or am I mistaken (which I VERY MUCH hope I am because what the he---)?

I do not care whatsoever what her reason is or what trauma she went through. Attempted murder of a minor (ESPECIALLY in this case, a minor who didn't even do anything) is inexcusable to me.

There is no way in frog fingers you guys are ACTUALLY trying to justify and/or downplay a grown ADULT trying to murder a CHILD (because that's what America was—a CHILD).

(Her and Miguel O'Hara would get along GREAT, when's the collab--)

And by then, she had ALREADY brutally murdered a whole bunch of people and probably corrupted the multiverse even FURTHER than she already had.

It wasn't until an ALTERNATE version of her (who ACTUALLY had her kids) told her to sit the [BLEEP] down (I'm paraphrasing here, but you get my drift).

Wanda is NOT a victim. Is she a good villain? Yes. But this witch isn't a victim. Not anymore at least. She doesn't apologize for her actions. She doesn't take responsibility. She doesn't reflect on what she does.

And even when she DOES finally do ANY of those things in ANY capacity, the damage is already done. In fact, it's not JUST done, it's also BURNT inside the oven causing smoke to go everywhere.

There is no rhyme or reason you could pull out that will convince me to be anything short of angry with this character and I'm so tired of her fans trying to defend her just because she was a lab rat and lost her man.

Once again, it's not bad to like a character that does awful stuff. But please, for sanity sake, STOP acting like they're a lost little angel BECAUSE you like them. I know they say "hurt people hurt people" but that still doesn't justify doing bad stuff just because bad things happened to YOU.

[theinquisitxor]

October Reading Wrap Up

October was a great reading month and I got through ten(!) books in the month. That's more than I've read in a while, so it felt good to be able to know I can still read that many. I read some spooky/halloweenish books, as well as continued a few series, and finished a series.

1.Son of the Shadows (Sevenwaters 2) by Juliet Marillier, 5/5 stars. I started the month with reading the second Sevenwaters book. Just like with book 1, I enjoyed this immensely, and I found the characters and storyline to be strong and engaging. This one is even more romance heavy than the first books. Adult historical fantasy

2.Paladin's Hope (Saint of Steel 3) by T. Kingfisher, 4.5/5 stars. Another good installment in this series and new mystery that our characters are faced with. This one was a bit shorter than the first two books, and I wish this was a little longer, but otherwise it was great as always! Adult fantasy romance

3.The Mother Tongue: English and How it Got That Way by Bill Bryson This was my nonfiction book for the month, and I read this on audio. Enjoyable, but I felt like it was a little dated. I've read other more recent books on linguistics, and enjoyed them more. Nonfiction.

4.Echo North by Joanna Ruth Mayer, 4/5 stars. This was an enjoyable YA fantasy, and a good blend of fairytales I really enjoy. I don't read a lot of YA anymore, but this reminded me of some of the 'older' YA that is really good. East of the Sun West of the Moon, batb, cupid & psyche retellings all blended together. The author also credits Robin McKinley, DWJ, and Edith Pattou as big inspirations, and I could tell. YA fantasy

5.Last Argument of Kings (First Law 3) by Joe Abercrombie, ?/5 stars. I honestly was so done reading this trilogy, and just wanted to know how it ended so I could just finish it. I skimmed most of it, and only read the Glokta chapters and the ending. This type of fantasy is 100% not for me. I only finished the series because my brother gifted me the boxed set (and he read them). Adult fantasy

6.I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacquline Harpman, 5/5 stars. This is a lesser known classic that's gotten some popularity recently. It's part dystopian, part science fiction, and reminded me a little of The Wall which I read earlier this year. Very poignant, dark, but an exploration of self and a woman on her own. This is translated from French!

7.A Sorceress Comes to Call by T. Kingfisher, 4/5 stars. Another good T Kingfisher fairy tale retelling (however this was quite loose on the retelling), but also dark, featuring child abuse and animal horror. But there is humor, and a good cast of adult characters trying to fix the situation, and I like how T Kingfisher writes competent adults.

8.Witch Week (Chrestomanci 3) by Diana Wynne Jones, 3/5 stars. I started this on audio, but finished with the physical book. Can't say I enjoyed this one as much as the first two. This just reminded me of how horrible middle school was! A good halloween time read though. Middle grade fantasy.

9.The Wolf in the Whale by Jordanna Max Brodsky, 4/5 stars. This is a historical fantasy that has been on my tbr since 2019. This is light on the fantasy elements, and about first contact between Inuit and Vikings in present-day Canada about 1000 years ago. Our main character is an Inuit shaman, and they and a viking have to team up to save the land and their peoples. Super detail rich and well written.

10. Graveyard Shift by ML Rio, 4/5 stars. A good read for Halloween, and excited to see that ML Rio is publishing again! A thriller about 5 people trying to discover who made a new grave in an abandoned graveyard. As someone who works in academia, I liked the academia element in this story, I only wish it was longer!

I'm on track to finish my Goodreads Reading Challenge this year, which is 80 books. Usually I get somewhere in the 90s, but not this year I guess. For Nov and December, I'm planning on finishing the Sevenwaters series, and Chrestomanci, so I'll be prioritizing those books.

November tbr:

The Scorpio Races (reread on audio)

Child of the Prophecy (Sevenwaters 3)

Heir to Sevenwaters (Sevenwaters 4)

Chrestomanci: The Magicians of Caprona (book 4)

Paladin's Fate (Saint of Steel 4)

Nonfiction

The Word for Woman is Wilderness

Cape Cod (on audio?)

The Virgin in the Garden

[kikyan]

Yandere Pomefiore Headcanons

TW/CW: Dark Content up ahead!! Yandere content specifically!! Themes will include but not be limited to, yandere, possessiveness, violence towards reader or characters, manipulation, mentions of stalking, obsession, etc. (I think that should be it but unless I'm missing something please do let me know!!) Please proceed with caution!!

DISCLAIMER: These are my interpretations of his/her/their persona and none of these is 100% accurate. I don't condone any of these actions in real life and all of this is purely fictional and should be taken as such! Underage characters will ONLY be given SFW headcanons, please respect this decision!

Banner made by @herestrish please don't steal my bestie worked hard on it and I love them so much :((

Vil Schoenheit

Beautiful Vil indeed, Vil is one of the characters who I feel relate to the most. His desire to be the fairest is rooted in the ideology that he has to work twice as hard for the praise that comes at no cost for Niege. Vil’s S/O would be someone who can see past that, maybe someone who can see the ‘ugliest’ parts of him but still want to be with him. Someone that can accept Vil for himself. With that said, he’s a manipulative, possessive, and overprotective yandere. 

It needs to be said that Vil is probably the most reliable housewarden here. I feel like he’s the type you should go to for advice because he tells it to you straight. He doesn’t sweeten his tone or downplay the situation to spare your feelings, he’s direct. The best way I can describe Vil and Neige is that Neige is cute, and Vil is hot. Niege is the cutesy persona, the kind and charismatic main character that you can’t help but root for in every situation. He’s literally the one who beats the villain with the power of friendship. Vil is a sophisticated and respected individual, the one who worked hard to get what they have, because of this. . .he’s often made to play the role of a villain. The one who is blinded by greed and stops at nothing to prevent the MC from getting what they want. That’s the role he plays. His S/O would be someone who sees past that, long story short someone who can respect and love Vil for himself rather than some silly persona he’s been pushed to play. Someone who can see Vil in the worst light but accepts him. You see the ugly but rather than shy away from it you learn to embrace it. 

I don’t want to say that he’s manipulative to the extent that Jamil might be, but he’s good with words. Pomefiore is a dorm that radiates beauty, not just physical appearance but how one carries themselves. This makes sense when in book 5 he talks to the others about skincare and even reminds Epel that ballet isn’t exactly a gendered sport. Beauty is how someone carries themselves, what they reveal when facing a tough situation, and how they view themselves and others, that’s beauty. If his S/O ever had a doubt, they would seek Vil’s opinion first. Of course, he knows more and his opinion is highly valued. His manipulation isn’t too complex but it follows the ideology that if a stranger gave an unsolicited opinion you won’t pay too much attention. Still, if a trusted friend gave it, you’d be inclined to trust them more. Under his guidance, Vil will slowly alter your mindset as well as your opinions of others. He’s Vil, he has a keen eye for these things after all. Vil says things straightforwardly so you know he’s being honest, that’s gotta count for something! So while it’s not a big thing at the moment, his words start to weave themselves into your conscious decisions. He’s not someone you would doubt, much less disobey. 

He’s quite possessive. In the way Jamil doesn’t want to give his S/O up, he can’t stand the idea of someone taking you away from him! Vil is quite infatuated with you, you see. The one thing he wants is standing right in front of him, he’s not letting his opportunity go by. He’ll start by conviving you to spend time with him. You’re failing your potions class? Vil can offer to help but it won’t come for free! The occasional fashion advice or skin care opinion, always offering to teach you the ropes and how to accessorize. Granted if you don’t ask for it nor actively seek it, he’ll never push his opinions onto you. If you do however ask for his advice, he’ll make a tight schedule that takes up your time and includes himself in the mix. Would he isolate you from others? No, but he would drop some side comments that might make you reconsider who you should be hanging around with. The choice is yours but he’s quite persuasive. He would never let Neige know of you, he can’t risk you becoming a fan or choosing Niege over himself. He just can’t let that happen. This ties in with his over-protectiveness, he’s by no means a pushover. With fame comes risk and Vil is more than qualified and prepared to ensure your safety. In the event that he does go public with your relationship (which he will), some crazed fan might send something to you! 

Overall, there are no traits that I can use to define how dangerous Vil can be as a yandere. Vil would probably force you to go through some rigorous training, anything that proves your loyalty to him. I think it’s what he values the most. Loyalty to him. Once you prove you can be trusted, Vil might start to expose bits and pieces of himself to you but don’t get your hopes up. Does Vil want to be worshiped? Yes, but he wants you to love him. It has to be you, nobody else can suffice. Nobody else sees Vil the way you see him and that’s what he wants. He wants your eyes to be on him, He’s in the spotlight and you’re the only member of the audience that he yearns for. Don’t let your gaze wander, keep your eyes focused on him. While it’s your attention and affection that he yearns for, he by no means will resort to groveling. He has too much pride (though maybe in extreme feelings and conditions, he may but unlikely at the moment) and I feel like it contradicts his ideology of working to earn. If it’s your affection he wants he’ll work hard and strive to gain. Do I think he may have a moment where he slips up? Yes, like in book 5, that wasn’t supposed to happen but it did. He had the idea of beating Niege at a dance competition but towards the end almost took his ass out. I feel like it starts to be futile, normal means of gaining your affection aren’t working, or keeping your love he may stoop down to using potions. Designed as ‘sharing’ snacks and drinks, he may slip in a potion that will make you agree or idolize Vil to a certain extent. He by no means will buy your love or use cheap tactics to earn it, but he may fall into a fear that you may leave him resulting in a potion to keep your love. 

Also, I realized that with these headcanons I don’t exactly highlight something that makes them unique, but I will start doing that with the remaining characters! Vil, what makes him unique is that he’s as suffocating as the poisons he makes. He’ll slowly start making his way into your life and cloud your senses. Anything and everything you do is for Vil. The air you breathe is for Vil. He demands absolute loyalty (as I’ve repeated countless times but I can’t organize for shit) and that loyalty is slowly woven into your routine. You use his skin care, you style your clothes a certain way because Vil told you. You style and accessorize yourself according to his recommendations because Vil is right. You act the way Vil would appreciate (in your eyes because I'm a huge believer they will love you for being you), and you are dedicated to him. The most unique thing about this is that it’s all according to Vil’s design. He managed to flip the table and make YOU seek him out rather than him doing all the hard work. 

These headcanons probably don’t do him justice but on the scale, he’d be an 8/10. It’s Vil, he would never show such unsightly behavior and I think that is where people would fall for it. If anything I think pomefiore is a dorm that can show multiple faces. They hold themselves to such a standard that at first glance, they could never do that! He excels at potions and poisons so he is quite a danger to others and his S/O. His manipulation is hidden under the guise that Vil is only helping you out. It’s Vil, sure some of the things he says might sound rude but he’s just being honest. His reputation does help him conceal his true behavior. His love is suffocating and overpowering. Surely you can learn to accept this ugly Vil as you would the beautiful Vil.  Not to mention, he’s clouding your mind to the point all you can think about is him (managed to save these headcanons because I thought the song Aishite X3 (I’m typing all that out) and how I personally feel Vil would relate to it on some form.

After editing these headcanons I came to the horrifying truth that this sounds like Nate and Cassie’s relationship in euphoria. . . shit. Oh! Before I forget, on the rope-chain-saw scale I think he would be chain. He isn’t one to restrict you physically, but he would restrict with you magic and potions. As I mentioned before, he’d try to manipulate you to turn the tables around, it would be you seeking him rather than him seeking you which would put him on the rope scale. Since he has a possibility of using magic to keep you obedient (rather than make you because he still wants you to make that choice) he would be placed on the chain, you can win back freedom (basically he has no use for the potions at this point) as long as you continue to prove your devotion to him! Okay, this time FOR SURE I’m done! 

Rook Hunt

This man scares me, he’s horrifying. In canon, he’s probably just a bit off-putting and he’ll be nice to you but as a yandere? That being said, Rook is manipulative, possessive, obsessive, and sadistic. Let’s get into it!

The biggest thing with Rook is that we need to see his reference material, he’s a hunter. That predator and prey dynamic is quite strong as we’ve seen in the beanfest event, he likes the thrill. Normally I’d say to run but he enjoys the thrill of that so start walking slowly. Let’s talk about his S/O, I try not to put too many traits because I truly like to believe that they prefer the personality of their S/O as opposed to anything specific but he’d be interested in his S/O. Their way of thinking and the way they carry themselves. We know he loves beauty and has no problem voicing his admiration, but when it comes to his S/O, his comments increase a lot. He loves the way you dress, the way you carry yourself, the way you write your name, and the way you speak, if you have any anxious ticks they don’t go unnoticed and he loves them as well. He’s very observant of any and all things you do, it’s scary. He’s like Kalim who sees the beauty and the good things, he just communicates them differently. To be honest, right now, Rook would make you love things about yourself that you hate or never knew about. As a yandere, that doesn’t change but his love increases by a lot. Tying this in with his obsessive trait, he knows everything. When you leave class with Grim, his eyes are on you. When you take a test and scratch your head, look confused (stuff you do basically), etc, he’s watching. He takes in any and all information possible. Things that are routine to you, he analyzes and takes great interest. Like a hunter studies his prey, he studies you just as well. Maybe at first, it was just something he does, but then it started to become extreme. If you take walks around Ramshackle and you feel eyes on you, it might be him. He doesn’t do anything other than stalk but that doesn’t make it any better. His eyes are ALWAYS on you. Taking in EVERYTHING. He’s extremely obsessive if you couldn’t tell.

Manipulative and this is also where I want to include his ‘unique’ trait. He will NEVER trust you. I’m like jumping a couple of steps but this will all make sense, promise. His manipulation isn’t like the others where they isolate you and try to make it seem like you only have them. It also isn’t something based on authority where they say, “I’m this so you should trust me” or where they use their fame to get you to comply (AKA blackmail). No, Rook takes on a different route. He’s a hunter and he’s always setting up bait but his reasoning isn’t always to prove your loyalty and love, it’s because he finds it fun. Like the Leech twins, you’ll have to be constantly on edge with him. It’s all about observing you. If you read yandere fanfiction, I’m sure you’ve seen prompts that involve the yandere placing the darling (you) in a situation where they can escape, but it’s secretly a test. With Rook, you’ll NEVER know it’s a test. You could stay put for three hours and Rook comes back saying he was busy. You realize then, you could have gotten help but you didn’t. Sometimes, he’ll leave you for 15 minutes and the moment you turn around to run, he’s there. You’ll either have to try to escape at every opportunity or stay put at every opportunity. He could send you on an errand, running papers to a teacher. Out of the fear that he’s watching even though logically he wouldn’t be in the office, you don’t say anything. You realize too late that it was a perfect opportunity to flee from him. This ties in with his unique trait.

He will NEVER trust you. In fanfiction when the darling has been ‘loyal’ (basically playing into their hands waiting to get the upper hand and flee) for some time ranging from a couple of months to years and the yandere assumes that they’ve finally given in. Yeah no, that’s not happening with Rook. You could be together for 10+ years and with 8 children, but he’ll NEVER assume you’ve given in. He’ll play the role and display signs that make it seem that he has but rest assured he hasn’t. He can be the perfect husband, and doting father, and just be a textbook family. You think you’ve planned well, surely after all these years he would believe your charade but no, Rook still keeps an eye on you. Not to mention, he has an army of 8 kids. He probably taught them to recognize signs and to snitch on you. Imagine you’re planning on leaving him but taking the kids and you tell them the plan but all these fuckers turned on you. Yeah, trust is something that comes hard with Rook (if you ever gain it), but this also ties in with the rope-chain-saw scale. He’d be rope. He enjoys the thrill of the hunt and I don’t see him as someone who tires of it. He’ll have some restrictions but overall, he wants you to be as free as possible. You won’t have any extreme restrictions or anything holding you back other than your fear of him. Funny enough, this brings me to my second point, he’s sadistic.

He doesn’t mean to harm you physically, but mentally he loves it. Physically, maybe but it’s not that common. He’ll find your scared expression beautiful and exciting, it shows how much you’re afraid of him. Of course, he wants your love and honestly, in a non-yandere setting, he’d be the perfect boyfriend. As a yandere, he THRIVES off the idea that he’s the biggest threat in your eyes. It’s the thrill of the hunt that makes that catch so much sweeter. Despite all the opportunities of escape (test or not), you don’t take them because of that fear. Any and all bait (escape or not because it’s mostly used to track your reactions) is meant to cause mental anguish. If you do bite he may inflict some physical pain but it’s not something that happens often. In the commissioned fic I wrote, you ran and Rook used an arrow to stop you. Yeah, he’ll do that again. He’ll treat you very well after (medical sense) but he’s not above harming you temporarily. I didn’t put him on the scale as saw, because he doesn’t want to take away your ability to run. Back to the original point, the mental anguish he causes is so much worse. It’s the way he will pamper you, loves you, gives you gifts, and speaks sweet words that make you melt away in a blissful state. You seem to forget that his eyes are closed on to you, he sets up traps that you may or may not recognize until after he appears to give you praise or punishment based on the result. You can’t read him and you can’t predict his intention so you live in fear. That’s what sadistic Rook loves, he’s the cause of your pain and fear.

Wrapping these headcanons, Rook gets an 11/10 on the yandere scale. I wanted to say 10/10 because he’s a danger but because he’ll never trust you he gets an 11/10. Escape really isn’t an option (unless you want to end it all but even then your snitch children might step in). He’s possessive like most, if not ALL yanderes. You’re his, trust me others will regret messing with you. I don’t think Rook would isolate you so he’s not possessive in that sense (like some of the yanderes) but he still wants you to be his and his alone. I don’t think he’d brand you (this brings up a tiny point how despite what you think he sees you as an equal and not as a pet because the mental anguish he causes is what leads you to make that dynamic) but if pushed to the point, he may and find beauty in something of his on your skin. He’s dangerous because he causes an INSANE amount of mental anguish (cater levels) but he can also be physical if need be. He’s always watching and his love is like an anchor, constantly weighing you down and making it hard to breathe. All eyes on you as he sees everything and anything, not to mention his unique magic? Yeah no, escape has and will never be an option. Honestly, I feel like maybe (since this isn’t canon and a yandere headcanon) the whole Pomefiore dorm might be in on it. I see Rook trusting Epel and Vil with you or knowing about you. They might even be the unsuspecting bait that Rook plants. If you thought one pair of highly trained hunting eyes was bad enough, imagine a dorm full of eyes that are trained to see people in the spotlight.

Epel Felmier

So starting right off the bat I’m gonna say what his unique trait is. It’s his appearance. Book 5 was about Vil trying to get Epel to see that his cute face was something he could use to his advantage rather than a disadvantage. So, he’s going to take what Vil taught him and put it to good use. Overall characteristics would include manipulative and overprotective, with a hint of possessiveness.

Finding a way to tie in his unique trait with these characteristics is simple but let’s get into it! Manipulating you and others is quite easy for Epel. Though he doesn’t like being seen as some dainty and petite individually, he’s more than content using it to get you and others to listen to him. You would probably lower your guard a lot more with Epel because it’s Epel. At first glance, I think most of us could push him away if things ever got physical. Which is why Epel doesn’t seem like a danger at first. Epel's gentle and soft-spoken nature is something so refreshing to be around with (especially after hanging out with Ace and Deuce) and is usually quite calming. Epel is sweet and caring, always minding his manners which are suited for someone in Pomefiore. He doesn’t need to do any extra work because you feel comfortable around him talking about your personal life. When something occurs, you may ask Epel for his advice or maybe just to listen (which he’s always down for). It’s different from the others because sometimes Ace happens to say things so bluntly and Deuce, while having good intentions, says things that just don’t work. Epel is a soft-spoken person who offers advice in a tone that doesn’t mean to criticize or look down upon. Finding ways to effectively get his point across without the need of hurting your feelings. You trust Epel so much and while he appreciates this, he knows it stems from his appearance.

I can see him slightly being annoyed by this at first until he starts to slip up. Imagine your surprise when Epel is single-handly arguing and fighting the students who made fun of you. Imagine your surprise when the sweet boy starts to act out, saying things you didn’t expect to leave his mouth and just starts acting different. It’s total whiplash. Once he’s gotten your trust and you start to reconsider, his appearance comes to the rescue when you start accusing Epel of things he’s done. Honestly, I can see Vil and Rook stepping in if things get serious but most of the time his good looks do the talking. What do you mean Epel scared you? He grabbed your wrist and left a nasty bruise? That doesn’t sound like the Epel I know. Did he say all those mean things to you? Are you sure? Epel doesn’t speak like that! Suddenly, he’s making everyone turn against you for speaking out against him. How scary is Epel?

I want to include overprotectiveness and possessiveness together because they go hand in hand. Epel loves you and he’d fight for your honor! It’s quite cute, brave, and courageous to see someone of a small stature standing up against the bad guys. He was raised on the principle of treating everyone with respect and you’re no different! His possessiveness ties in when others try to steal you away from him. No doubt looking down on him because of his size and he needs to show them who’s boss! Well, he sounds tame, so what’s the big issue? Ladies and gentleman, it’s a power dynamic scale we have going on. See Epel is so used to being seen as someone small and petite and while he appears that way to his darling, he has the ability to remind them who is in charge. Though I don’t see Epel as being someone to get physical with you off the bat, there are times when he sees it as his last resort (and by last I mean he tried one other option and gave up). Considering he has a short temper, it’s more often than not. He can be like Ace who says some mean things and basically degrades you but no point in telling anyone because it’s not like anyone would believe sweet Epel would say that. He can pose a threat and when all else fails, start resulting to hitting you to keep you tied to him but again no use saying anything because who would believe you? Granted, there is only so much he can hide behind leading me to a small point, I think Vil and Rook would encourage his behavior.

Vil would dislike the way he’s so rough with you but he did gain your trust with that pretty face of his. Rook would find it amusing. Honestly, he’d feel the same when he thinks you shouldn’t be too rough with your darling, but Epel is a stubborn one who doesn’t accept defeat. In the rope-chain-saw scale, he’d be split between rope and chain. Honestly, like Rook, you start to grow a fear of Epel. While most of the time he’s his usual self (the one you came to love), saying the wrong thing could set him off and spell disaster for you. It’s like walking on eggshells for your safety. So at some point, Epel has no need for too many restrictions but Vil encourages him not to slip up. Not to get too cocky and assume he’ll always be at the top because an unssuspecting person came come and steal you away. It’s as if they’re trying to make him worse than he already is, resulting in the border between chain and rope. Depending on what happens and how he feels, he made add too many restrictions and he’s always inconsistent with them, but most of the time he’s a rope. Doesn’t feel the need to keep you caged and away when you already know the consequences that await you.

Epel overall isn’t too dangerous, maybe a 6/10? His behaviors can start to get predictable but do be careful with that face. He may even stage a situation where you’re the one hurting precious Epel and onlookers judge you. How could you come to hurt someone like Epel? Surely he didn’t pose too much of a threat. Though, while he physically is strong and has a quite short temper, his behaviors can become routine and easy to follow. He’s really only a danger more than Deuce because he would have the help of Vil and Rook. I’m sure that over time you could turn the tables on him and either fight back or paint him to be the villain he is. He’s truly like the poisoned apple, beautiful and tempting on the outside but rotten to the core.

[konigsblog]

That mlmxreader blog also keeps claiming that you're sending your followers to go attack them and send death threats. They do a lot of arguing that your dark fic is not real dark fic and that you're purposely trying to trigger and retraumatise them - is what I gathered looking at a couple posts...

I think that for one, there are definitely writers who do romanticise some topics unhealthily with things such as rape/assault/torture, but I don't think you're one of those people? Like you frequently tag and keep stating that what you're writing is fiction, it's fantasy.

On that note, they keep trying to argue that CNC is the more "moral" kink to be writing vs. rape. I honestly think that rape fantasy is something people do fantasize about and can sometimes just not be CNC (bc they keep trying to pin it back to that kink). It's the fact that there's no established relationship and discussion like in most BDSM pairings where they talk about rape play. At the end of the day, you tag your works properly. I don't see much issue with writing what you want when you make sure to tag (which you do!) and are aware the subject you're writing about and its usual connotations (which you're also aware!). People can be mad and uncomfortable, but at the end of the day it's them who chose to keep talking about it. I think people need to get used to being uncomfortable on the internet. This is not a new concept and nobody here is a "hero" for anything.

Sorry I just paraphased some posts and asks with some of my own thoughts on it!

i mean, my content is supposed to be dark, it's dark content for a reason, and i'm not describing these characters to be standard; i'm writing them manipulative, vindictive, depraved, ect. i do appreciate you, anon, as you weren't rude, and instead polite. i appreciate it, my dear! 💗

i don't really care about this whole thing, but something i have never said was to send death threats. now, we don't know if they're lying – they could be – but, if they aren't, stop. i didn't tell anyone to send death threats, because i don't condone that. aside from death threats and mocking someone's trauma, i seriously don't care what you want to do. whether you don't block them, block them, whatever, they've made multiple posts directly insulting me in weird ass ways, so i couldn't really care about their immature opinion.

i'd like to point out something they said though, kinda funny, considering they've mentioned me multiple times outside of their callout post. they said they made ONE post about me with examples, that would be their callout post. but, they're not counting how they're talking about me in response to anons, or how they're mentioning me in their hashtags. it's childish. yes, you 100% have the right to not enjoy a certain kink/coping mechanism (because funnily enough, people use different ways to copes) but it's immature to name people, talk about how what i'm doing is "disgusting" or how i'm a "vile cretin" (like what lmfao 😭)

here's some screenshots of what i'm talking about when i say they've even insulted me, or made comments. this is 4/11 screenshots.

and comparing my supporters to an iof soldier... 😬 wtf is wrong with you? that's disgusting.

now, if anyone sends this to @mlmxreader, go ahead and let them know that they're not the centre of the world, them multiple posts taking about me and insulting me is immature on their end.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

10 BL Boys I Would Throw Hands For

Okay so everyone is doing retrospectives and what not and I should just kinda quit while I'm ahead, but I just rewatched My Ride and decided that I needed to highlight some of the boys that I would 100% throw hands for should they be wronged by any man. So without further ado here are the people who would inspire me to seek justice and retribution against those that have hurt them with the same feral energy of cocaine bear.

Tawan- My Ride

First if all, Por better watch his fucking back cause if he does anything to fuck with Tawan again you better believe I'm jumping on the back of Mork's pillon and we're turning a man into a pin cushion. Tawan has literally done nothing wrong ever in his life. He cares for everyone so deeply. He is so soft and kind and gentle in the most beautiful way and there is not a malicious bone in his body. Tawan is just a genuinely, naturally, and fundamentally good person and I am so glad that he is a sunshine for sunshine kinda guy because Tawan deserves a man like Mork in his life (and Mork- who would also be on my list but he throws hands just fine on his own -deserves a man like Tawan).

Uea- Bed Friend

Uea is so incredibly lucky to have King in his life, because if it were me, and Uea told me what his parents did to him, the next thing anyone knew I'd be at Uea's parents' house ripping his step-father's throat out with my bare fucking teeth and locking his mother in the bathroom with like a pack of hungry wolves or some shit. Uea's family got off far far too fucking easy because King is capable of some level of self-restraint. I, however...if there is one person on this list who I would turn the most feral/attack dog for, it is this beautiful angel right here. Sleep with one eye open Uea's Mother, I'm coming for you.

Tian- Khun Chai (aka To Sir, With Love)

He's beauty, he's grace, his mother will murder you in an instant if she thinks you know he's gay. I honestly probably don't need to do anything to the people who have wronged him cause between his mother, his brother, and his boyfriend he's got that shit covered, but...I love him so much. He just wants to be himself. But himself is a gay man in occupied Thailand, in a family that disowned their last outed queer member and drove him to suicide so, he's having the time of his motherfucking life. I am not saying I condone the swift delivery of a death to anyone his mother thought might threaten him, but...I get it.

Sakuko- Koisenu Futari

Hello to one of my new-found greatest loves. Sakuko is yet another human embodiment of sunshine who has had too many people do her wrong in her life. She has built herself a little family, and she's found a life she loves, and if anyone ever threatened that you better believe I would be there swinging a baseball bat in an instant. Sakuko, my aroace queen, just know that I care about your happiness above all other things. Enjoy your bike ride!

Patts- La Pluie

gif from @ueasking

Now listen, I know Patts is capable of holding his own against those who have wronged him, but he should not have to do everything himself. Patts, save your energy for your veterinary practice, I'll return Tai to you after he has been smacked around a little bit. Patts is one of the rare characters here that I would throw hands for both in fiction and on this website. You have a problem with Patts, you can kindly meet me in the Waffle House parking lot at 3am.

Mrs. L- Laws of Attraction

If there is anyone on this list that I would have to bet has killed someone before, it's Mrs. L. I have no doubt that even now if someone tried to fuck with her in any way she'd have them on their ass in an instant, but bad bitches gotta stick together ya know? Call up Maya, Rose, and Nawin and I will meet them out front to take care of that problem for you. You've got your hands full with those boys of yours.

Daisy- Secret Crush on You

Oh Daisy, oh my darling, darling girl I got your back from now until the end of the earth. Daisy is just the absolute sweetest, and I want all the best for her, and if anyone was to ever fuck with her in any way, they are getting Cask of Amontillado'd by me, personally. Look at that smile, keep your brightness, babes.

Han Ba Ram- Sing My Crush

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Okay so. Honestly I understand why Im Han Tae was immediately cute, cuddly, and flirtatious with this boy. He is an extremely huggable lad. I can also understand how that need to hold this Sad Gay(tm) could have impacted the length of time it took you to realize you had feelings for him. This sad boy right here doesn't know it but he has accidentally summoned a small gang of people who are ready and willing to go all Ides of March on his music teacher's ass. So heads up to Sangin, @bengiyo, @ginnymoonbeam, @lurkingshan, @kyr-kun-chan, @shortpplfedup, and I are outside your front door and we just want to talk.

Boston- Only Friends

Now, I will not deny my boy is a bit of an asshole, a shit-stirrer if you will, and there are times and places where I will let Boston deal with the consequences of his own actions and get smacked around. HOWEVER, you slut shame my boy? Death. You pull an Atom on my boy? Death. You abandon my boy? Death. According to the end of Only Friends Boston's is absolutely lacking in people in his corner, so I will be there with bells on. Boston, cruise as much as you want baby, and if any of those boys give you trouble, give me a call.

Amane- If It's With You

gif by @dramascene

In case you haven't picked up on it, sad!happy boys are my kryptonite and Amane is just the saddest boy with the best bundle of joy mask I have ever seen. He deserves the world, this boy, and if anyone ever tried to steal his joy again, I would steal their soul right out of their bodies.

Wasn't gonna make this a tag game or anything but if anyone wants to answer it, go right ahead!

I will, however, tag @negrowhat, @respectthepetty, and @sorry-bonebag since they are the ones that supported my vision so they see the post

[not-poignant]

Worldbuilding and Writing Fiction are two separate skills.

Someone reblogged one of my shitposts yesterday (the one about intimidating myself out of worldbuilding) expressing confusion in the tags about how anyone could be intimidated out of writing through worldbuilding too much.

This was kind of baffling to me, because I think I've seen it 50-60 times now, especially with new, ambitious writers who are starting off with deep fantasy or science fiction projects. When you talk to them, they've often sunk months or even years of worldbuilding into the project, but when you ask how far they've come on the fiction side of things, they usually have writer's block, haven't started writing the story, or say they're not ready yet. 'I'm starting soon' is a common refrain. 'I just have a little bit more left to do.'

The main reason for this - I feel - is that worldbuilding and writing are two different skills. Someone who spends 5 years worldbuilding has learned how to get really good at worldbuilding, but that doesn't mean anything about how good their writing will be. Many folks think worldbuilding will automatically make a story better, but sometimes worldbuilding can become unwieldy and stressful, especially in the case of a) entirely new worlds / secondary world fantasy, or b) complex worldbuilding. Definitely not talking about contemporary romance here, lol. (Though no shade to that, I've had a lot of fun worldbuilding for those stories too).

Going from worldbuilding to writing is launching into an entirely new space. If you find writing new stories easy, that won't be a problem for you, in fact you may not even have realised they're too different skills before now.

If you find writing new stories intimidating, sometimes having hundreds or thousands of things about your world to try and constantly remember can feel overwhelming and mess with the executive function needed to start a chapter.

In some cases, worldbuilding can make it much easier to start a story. But it really depends on what you're needing to do. If you're just writing a contemporary story where you need to research two characters and two jobs, you're generally going to be just fine.

If on the other hand, you have the equivalent of a 500 page Wiki behind-the-scenes, it can feel overwhelming very quickly.

New writers fall into this trap the most, I feel. They become accustomed to what worldbuilding feels like, and they hedge on writing the actual fiction, because they just have more experience worldbuilding and keep waiting for their confidence in worldbuilding to become 'confidence in starting the story.' It doesn't work that way. They're different skills.

They might even be better at worldbuilding than writing! But that just means - if they really want to be a writer - that writing is the skill they really need to work on the most. That can be a comfort zone issue too. It can also be a 'only about 5-10% of all this work will ever appear in the story' issue, where folks want to share the worldbuilding more than the characters or plot, and therefore are just not inspired to work on their story. It can be a 'I want this story to be as good as my worldbuilding' issue. It can be a 'I find the worldbuilding part easy' issue. There are lots of reasons people stall out in worldbuilding and then feel intimidated to write the actual story.

This can also happen with established writers who become aware that the more they know about their world, the more they don't know about their world. It can start to feel like - if you write 10 articles for yourself, you end up with 100 more to write. If you write those 100 articles, you have another 300 to write. Worldbuilding never ends. Worldbuilding can be endless, and if you're an immersive writer, you can get lost very easily in the details, or in not knowing what details are critical and what details aren't. (A hint here is that you'll figure that out really fast when you start writing).

Stalling in worldbuilding can be a lot of things, it can tell you that there's something broken in the world, something broken in the story, it can tell you more about your insecurities, it can tell you how good you are at one skill and where you might need practice in another. It's super informative!

But, generally speaking, the advice I tend to give to many new writers is to try not to let your worldbuilding period last too long. Ideally, put a timer on it and see how it feels to start writing your story once the timer has gone off (3 months, 6 months, 3 weeks, put it in your phone or in your calendar, and start the first chapter, or some random scene, once that time is up).

If, after that period of time lapses, you still aren't ready to start your story, something bigger might be going on. It's an opportunity to dig deeper into the situation. And sometimes just ask yourself if you're using the idea of a novel as an excuse to do what you love most: Worldbuilding. If that's the case, there are other jobs you can parlay a solid worldbuilding ability into. It doesn't have to lead to novels. :)

But yeah it's super super common for many writers to stall out between worldbuilding and writing, and to feel overwhelmed by their own worldbuilding.

New writers get affected by it the most based on observation and hanging around writing forums, and the advice that gets asked quite often specifically on 'when do I go from worldbuilding to writing the story,' but established writers experience it too, because as Gene Wolfe once said to Neil Gaiman: "You never learn how to write a novel, Neil. You just learn how to write the novel you are on."

[sly-s-n0nfusion]

Hello octopathers I woke up in the mood to share opinions online so today it's the time to talk about

💫 Erhardt's War Crimes 💫

as well as explaining why I don't, never did, and will never like him as a character

/!\ Disclaimer: I'm not here to judge anyone who likes Erhardt, truly. I'm 100% okay with liking morally gray characters in fiction (and I do myself, as a fan of characters such as Ogen, Oshka, Kaldena and Ceraphina, which are pretty bad/terrible people as well, some of them are much worse than erhardt lol) so if he's your favorite character and your little sopping wet meow meow, that's great (you're also part of like 98% of the octopath fandom so if someone has to be the weird one here that'd be me lol) so this post is completely judgement-free 🙏 /gen

I just felt the need to address the full extent of his actions in game as some sort of reminder because I feel like the actual consequences of those are often overlooked or straight up not acknowledged, also because we see a lot of that in CoTC and many people who played OT1 did not play that one, and because I have seen quite the number of fans out there being like "Erhardt did nothing wrong" or "I'm an Erhardt apologist" or "regicide ain't that bad" when I think what he did was actually pretty bad and here's why!

TW children death, spoilers for Olberic’s story and CoTC Bestower of All

Okay so we can all agree with the fact that what happened to him was horrible. Man had to watch his hometown (and family, too) perish in a fire while Hornburg did nothing to help and he's been indoctrinated since he was just a child by Werner, who we know as being great at manipulating and inducing fear in people. Like no wonder he wanted revenge.

In Ot1 we only see him killing King Alfred and thus causing the fall of the whole kingdom of Hornburg as stated by Olberic at the beginning of his story, and then his "redemption" speech during Olberic's chapters 3 and 4, and that's pretty much it. We aren't exactly told what happened to the people of Hornburg after that.

Well, Champions of The Continent tells us as the fourth chapter of the Bestower of All storyline is set in Hell, where Hornburg and its ghosts still stand. And I say ghosts because those are all that's left of its population, with the exception of a few other NPCs we encounter in game who were lucky enough to flee in time.

Now the part of map we can walk on is quite big but it’s still a small fraction of the Hornburg capital (as we can see from the huge amount of buildings around the castle) and there are approximately 30+ npcs’ souls wandering around the streets, inside the castle and outside the capital (again, they’re just the ones we’re allowed to see)

(Don’t let this image fool you, he’s dead. All of them are dead, he didn’t make it out alive)

The most tragic part of all of this are obviously the souls of two children that can be found in a house, discussing which one of the Twin Blades is stronger. And honestly this piece of dialogue broke my heart

I’m afraid to inform this poor kid’s soul that Erhardt actually played a major role in the events that caused them to get killed.

And this brings me to the conclusion of this saying that no matter how strong Erhardt’s desire for vengeance was, and how manipulated he was, it still doesn’t excuse what he did. “Regicide ain’t that big of a deal” well no it isn’t, but the consequences of it are. I refuse to believe Erhardt didn’t foresee what would happen to all the inhabitants of Hornburg, children included, after he’d killed king Alfred and gave complete access to Werner’s army. Of course the ones who couldn’t flee in time would get killed. Of course he knew, but that wasn’t enough to make him think about stopping his rage.

He’s not a war criminal because he killed a guy with a crown, he’s a war criminal because he sentenced to death the whole population of a capital city and if we had doubt at first, cotc gives us undeniable proof.

Yes he lives hating himself. Yes he does regret all of it. But he had a choice. And yes, being afraid of Werner hunting him down is a solvable problem when you’re at the apex of one of the biggest kingdoms’ military force, he could’ve asked for help if only he spoke. Causing the death of so many innocent people isn’t going to bring his family and hometown back and he knew it.

That’s why I think what he did was, in no way, excusable.

“Erhardt isn’t a villain” doesn’t stick with my view of things.

Now, on to the personal reasons why I don’t like him in particular as a morally gray character lol

And that can be summed up as “Olberic’s first two chapters made a pretty damn good job at making me hate him”

But no for real it has to do with me valuing trust more than anything else in life and having the habit of self-projecting a lot on every character I play. I tend to ask myself “what would I do in this situation, how would I feel” etc, so it came natural to me to wanting to punt Erhardt into the sun instantly as soon as I saw Olberic (the guy that was my main character in his ch1) literally start his story having nightmares and being depressed because of this guy.

Of course it was instant, deep hatred from me I swear I’ve rarely wanted to kill some guy in a jrpg as much as I wanted to make him pay for what he did (even if I knew well that Olberic’s main goal was just to seek answers).

Now imagine my utter disappointment when the game didn’t let me kill him lol (just kidding, of course after his backstory traumadump I ended up sympathizing a bit with him).

Also no, Olberic never forgave him for what he did, as precisely stated by him in his chapter 3, but he does give him another chance to redeem himself because Olberic is a much better person than I am.

I… have been wanting to write this long post for a while now. I hope I didn’t upset anyone with it as that was not my intention. I get why erhardt has so many fans, with the whole emotional trauma he has and his pretty face and fabulous hair, I really do and I don’t think you’re weird for liking him. I just like to ramble about fictional characters from time to time lol

Peace ✌️

[saezurumurmurs]

A BL Platform For Everyone

NB: Please reblog this for visibility!

A little over two years ago, me and my BL crew were in our little chat sharing recommendations. 

Cat had an impressive spread sheet, Marcie and I had iCloud Notes, and it was pretty much chaos.

I looked at it and said out loud, "There has to be a better way for us to keep track of our reads and share recommendations. There has to be right?"

Cat said she wished someone would build a BL app with everything already there. Me, a developer of almost thirty years, paused while a floodlight (not a light bulb) went off in my head.

“Well I could maybe build one… cause like, I build stuff. How would that be?”

By the end of the conversation Cat had invited me to build an app for BL. 

Four weeks later, in late February of 2022, digitaljuicy.com was online. 

In the last couple of years, I’ve been listening to the fandom, paying attention to feedback, poured over analytics, read your responses to the Reader’s Survey and continued to craft a platform with all this in mind.

What I have been building is 100% for us... there is nothing but BL and it is an attempt to encompass ALL of BL. Not just the bits and pieces.

But for two years I've been struggling. Struggling in many ways, but specifically to get what I wanted out of the platform. I tried and failed so many times.

In September of 2022 I tried to raise venture capital to build the platform I wanted for us. I pitched it to accelerators and true blue venture capital.

Juicy is what is called 'pre-seed'. Which means were still so new and evolving, under-resourced and while there was interest, there was no joy. No funding was raised.

In December 2023, I realised it was time to rethink Juicy. i have been on the deepest dive for months rebuilding Juicy from the ground up and preparing the framework for the mobile app.

I’ve built something I want to use… and wild, I’m building it and using it as a fan at the same time. I'm at the point where it's impossible not to want to share.

And what kind of platform do I mean? At its most basic level:

You can track your reads, watches and plays

You can review and recommend the titles to the community, your friends, strangers on Twitter, your friend you're trying to corrupt outside the fandom. Your poison.

Timelines for you, for titles, for episodes, chapters… just about everything. I mean everything: The creators, the publishers, the studios, the actors... you can leave reviews and status posts on EVERYTHING. No algorithms, no force feeding... just discovery, recommendations and honest reviews by this community about our community and the industry we feed.

Collections! Lists of stuff you're reading, dropped, want to read, want to buy, love or hate, all pretty and organised and shareable..

A growing database resource of titles, tagged up to its eyeballs with a minutiae of data.. with reading an streaming links and anything else we find that we think is relevant.

But it is also a lot more than this.

I wanted it to be more than what it was. I want to turn Juicy into a mobile app, add some more functionality and more specifically, platform all of BL for its non-Asian fandom.

We get left out of so much, I feel like we need our own thing. 

I don’t know about ya’ll, but I was tired of being banned on social media for sharing content. How you gonna ban me for saying a 2D fictional character needs to be shot with shite and strung with cobweb? But they did… and I know it’s not just me.

What about the creators? How do they interface with the non-Japanese or non-Korean fandoms? On which misogynistic hell site?

What about the publishers and merchandisers? What about the little Etsy sellers? Why does BL have to hidden away in the databases of mangaupdates, anisearch and anilist? Why does every single manga tracker out there seem to have pitiful listings for BL? 

Is it because we’re a female or queer audience? 

Look at this lil video I made:

Either way, I’ve long felt it’s time for us to do our own thing. So I’ve been building it. Pixel by pixel. Feature by feature on my own.

Juicy has been a small chat group, but I’m the only developer. We’ve always been clear about what we wanted to build: A platform for the fandom, the creators, the publishers, the merchandisers… my goal is a one-stop platform for BL and I am damn close to presenting this new iteration.

This was and remains the core of what I’m building: The largest English platform for BL on the planet. The functionality is one thing, but building a database like that is not a one-person job.

So now I need your help.

First to keep the servers online, so I can continue to build and develop and finally, finally release the mobile app. I can't tell you how much I want that.

I’m close to pushing the new Juicy 3.0 out, and I’m very in love with the work I’ve done since December. It’s a new look, and it works 1000 times better than the previous iterations of Juicy.

I just have hit a wall financially, and need your help and support to get it over the line.

Juicy's ass is fat and I been carrying her mostly alone for two solid years. 

I’m going to launch a Kickstarter for this project in a bit so I can hire another developer  to help with the trickier bits and fine tune the mobile app, but for now, I felt a Patreon would at least help us keep the servers up and maybe, just maybe allow us to afford a few crucial bits that will elevate your experience as a user.

And because I’m a developer, and I can do some pretty kinky shit with APIs and such, if you support this Patreon campaign, you will get some nice feature perks on the platform automagically. You won’t have to pay again to access these perks in-app later.

As many perks as I can cook up anyway, not the least of which will be access to some of the nicer functions and features I’ve already built into the platform.

When the mobile app launches, you will get it first and for free! Plus we’ve been talking about a lot of other ways we can make the platform fun beyond what I've done already.

I plan to monetise the platform in various ways, but in a profit sharing model. You contribute to the database, you contribute content, you get a share of whatever the platform makes. This is already built into the system. This will be open to anyone willing, but to Patrons first.

Finally, I'm limiting the number of people who can subscribe via Patreon to 1000 people. Once we hit that number, the rolls will be closed to new membership, and everyone directed to the platform to pay for any services or merchandise.

My goal for this group of Patrons is that you become an exclusive and tightly knit inner circle.

My hope is that you will help me actively shape what Juicy will become. Your votes and say will carry weight. Your feature requests considered and if possible implemented first.

You will get access to exclusive merchandise, exclusive giveaways and promos (like free stuff), and exclusive programming from the team.

With your help we will produce an exclusive podcast for Patrons only discussing all things BL and Juicy (honestly our conversations are generally wild and hilarious... it will be a rollick for sure), along with other content for Patrons only. We've even planned watch parties and other fun shit... I swear, we want you all to be our greatest ambassadors so we are planning as many treats as we can.

Your access on the platform will be specific to your Patreon subscription and your treatment will be VIP for the life of your subscription.

Finally, the way my auADHD are set up, I have no interest in the dramas of the BL fandom, so this is never going to be about gatekeeping access to anything. It’s about making more access possible. You can help bring us all together and make us stronger as a group.

So do you think Digital Juicy sounds like something you’d like in on?

Okute Sea

Saezuru Murmurs

[deadkidcourt]

deadkidcourt : our tale of system discovery

I've always been scared of being publicly out about my system, more posts i see from other systems has given me some courage. i like being able to see those posts and see our system or aspects of us in them. I've never publicly spoke of my diagnosis being scared that when people find out that I'm not medically recognized that the fakeclaiming will become really bad. i already deal with so much denial of my own that I've been so scared of rejection from other systems.

we have done extensive research, we have always been very self aware and would never self diagnose without a fuck-ton of research to back it up. we'd always felt like multiple people but not in the way we feel like it now. we'd always been kind of name fluid, loving trying on different names and pronouns. i thought for a long time that, that's how multi-gendered and people who used xenogenders felt.

as time went on, we would have phases feeling girly, wanting a hyperfem gender presentation, and then we would flip 100% and get highly upset even being thought of a girl. even as a child i would act completely different to how i was, and my parents would get highly upset because they felt they didn't know me. saying things like you're acting like a completely different person, but in those times i would get really sad because i was just acting how i felt.

i would often be told i was lying, because one day I'd really like something and the next i hate it with everything in me. people thought i was faking my personality to fit in, but i was just that different. as a teenager i learned about osddid but thought, oh that can't be me! I remember all my trauma! I'm just me! until i met a friend who was a system and learned that alot of how we felt and the things we did were not that of a singlet. that was in 2019, we questioned for a year and thought we were just making things up for attention and to seem interesting (it's not for attention if you're doing it when you're alone.)

i have known about maladaptive daydreaming since i was a child, it was what saved me from most of my trauma. being able to escape to a fake world, but the ‘characters’ didn't change, at least not three of them. we would have random fictional characters show up to, that we would then have a high identity kin with and could never understand why other people didn't connect with characters like that.

one was a girl that always got mad when i was hurting, i thought she was an imaginary friend. someone my brain created to help me feel better about my situation, and then when i was about nine. she would start taking over my body, fighting with our parents when they would act wrong, but after that i would be in control again scared of the repercussions of her actions. this continued for years, i thought everyone made up people in their head to help them and protect them. that's not the case.

in 2021 (roughly) we became highly obsessed with fnaf, circus baby in particular. so much so, we couldn't befriend people online with her as a profile picture. this got bad enough that when a close friend set her discord avatar as glam rock baby (fan design), we had a full breakdown.

all we could think and feel is, that is me, i am that person you cant use that picture thats me and youre not me stop stop stop. our husband has to talk us down, and we kindly asked the friend to not use that character because of the distress we felt about it. we thought that was fictionkin, but it was so distressing and upsetting we had a weeklong disassociative episode and i thought that was just normal. we know now about pur circus baby fictive and have done work to source seperate so as to not have breakdowns and episodes like that again.

now, here's where things get tricky because the memory isn't really there. but from them until this year we fought with ourselves about our self diagnosis, always discrediting our trauma, and symptoms. it wasn't until we told our husband about all of our trauma that he helped us understand how drastic that was especially to a child's mind.

then we started researching, we researched off an on for three years. sometimes noting some people in our brain that we met, but it didn't work because we weren't ready to come to terms with it. the denial was ao bad.

in january of 2024, we had what i know now as a frontstuck host that finally got unstuck and everything started to fall into place for us. we were able to integrate and lose some of our amnesia barriers and i was able to meet some of our alters. it was helpful that our husband was around, because he was able to notice symptoms and changes in our prescence that we couldn't see.

he was able to differentiate between the main four frequent fronters we had at the time and was very patient with us and did research of his own to help us. we tried keeping a notebook, able to see differences in our handwriting and vocabulary choices. the way we dress would change, one loves all dark big clothing while another alter loves showing skin with pastel colors, and another one that just wants to be comfortable. small things like that made it easy to start to see the patterns in our switching. and with learning more, i realized my amnesia is not as cut and dry as i thought it would be. i can remember the bad things but not last week, or last month or yesterday.

there's only ever been one part of our system that we can't seem to wrap our head around. our splitting patterns, and fusing patterns. we have decently good communication, very low amnesia barriers between switching, and i have low access to innerworld. that was all great, but then we started splitting alot, or discovering alot of alters. there would be like 5 alters and 15 fragments and as time went on, i noticed how easily we split fictive fragments and those fragments (usually 2-4 of them) would fuse to make a whole alter. but that alter would have several sources, that always made us feel like we were wrong or perhaps that our system has lied to us. either of which could be true, we don't really care. we just try to take care of ourselves and we try to welcome any newbies to our headspace as gently as we can. we had incorrectly thought that introjects had to have one source, and that set us back on our healing alot. that and we tend to fuse semi-easily and thought we we're lying about our system because of that.

now we just take everything one step at a time, try to meet new alters and talk to them while not forcing it a whole lot. i hope our journey can help you. I'm not the most educated person (i try tho!) so please if I'm wrong about something or something let me know, KINDLY.

- ronnie 💣 and remi 🦨

[satanicsanity]

Welcome, My darlings!

(read below to find my boundaries & rules)

Before reading please note that I'm not really doing voice impressions anymore, as of right now! However if I ever decide to pick them up again, these rules still stand!

If I don't get to your request, keep in mind it could be for many reasons! Boundaries, current priorities, whether I can even do it due to the filter I have to use, time management, efficiency, whether I understood it or not, (which is very common for me to not be able to.. Understand alot of things-) it could be a variety of reasons! I'm not mad at you or upset, and I hope you're not upset with me! And if i don't do your request, please don't message me personally and complain! It's very hurtful, I cannot do everyones unfortunately! If i could, I would!

I would prefer only peeps ages 13+ to interact with this blog, Unless it is a little-space/younger listener directed audio or just a regular post! (Fellow age regressors can interact, however... Know that I do a lot of gore art at times & unsettling audios! So please read trigger warnings!) And for those who don't know/understand... here is an info document on pet and age regression!

Boundaries for my audio requests, Tw for SH, SA, and Abuse mentions:

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- Yes, you can request audios! But I strictly ONLY do non-sexual, mostly sfw content. Nothing nsfw (as in sexual or suggestive) I'm an asexual-minor and that makes me uncomfortable! I can do scary stuff, horror, etc... Things are bound to get gorey because I'm partially a gore artist... But nothing sexual. Anything sexual is a BIG NO.

- I cannot do any singing or screaming audios in wally's voice unfortunately, because the filter I require to use in order to do those impressions, does not work with singing! (Yes, I have to use a filter!)

- I Can do comfort audios, but i cannot make anything related to s3xual assult or self harm, as it's a personal trigger for me and I can't make videos like that for many other reasons! I'm unsure if I can do anything related to topics of death as well, please respect that I may not do everyones requests, for personal reasons of my own!

- please be nice! I'm not perfect at wally's voice, but I do work hard to make them sound as close as I can! So please, no hurtful criticism or hurtful comments please!

- Be patient with me, I will work to post as often as I can but i cannot promise every day! I have other things going on outside of tumblr!

- please keep in mind that the creator of welcome home and wally is PARTYCOFFIN, all the characters belong to party coffin, and I am NOT the original voice actor! Go support wally's ACTUAL voice actor, @DaFrankiestein!

- I'm not 100% sure I can do audios related to petregression for some personal reasons, so I'm sorry about that! That's no fault on any petregressors out there, I'm sure you're wonderful! I'm sorry! I hope you get the comfort you need and have a wonderful day! Big hugs for you all!

- I know this may upset some, but please no requests for physical abuse related comfort! That's a very triggering topic for me, and a very heavy subject. Please talk to someone close to you who can help if you are being abused, not a wally impressionist. I hope you are all alright, please get help if you're in a dangerous situation if you can

- Please keep in mind none of the things I do or say are cannon to the welcome home story!! I do not work with clown or any of the VA's! These are simply meant to be fan-made and fictional!

- If I'm on break, or simply not posting impressions often... I apologize! It's most likely because of real life issues or affairs! Please do not rush me or pry for information on why! I'm not quitting, I may continue eventually, but impressions ain't the only thing I do and I wish to move on! I'll try my best to keep up with some type of content whether that's impressions or artwork, chats, etc etc!

- If you are lgbtqia+ phobic, don't support dissociative systems, don't respect age/pet-regressors, don't support furries, or anything along these lines and furthermore... Please DNI! I myself am very gay, an age regressor, and a furry! Keep scrolling on by if you don't like that, hon!

- Posting voice impressions is not all that I do! It is a hobby I partake in when and if I want to, so I will post other things at times or not post impressions for a bit from time to time! I do not force myself to make audios, I will make them when I make them!

And again, Yes! I use a voice filter for all my voices! I cannot naturally fluctuate my voice into how it is in my videos, I can stretch my voice range however! I still do all the editing, layering, MOST of the sound effects, and everything else you see in the videos I make!