#and michelle jones is part of that whether she wants to be or not

[pleasetakethis]

Finally watching Echo and I want Maya to have all the soft things, goddamnit, every single one.

...but then there is also part of me that wants to watch her burn everything to the ground, so, you know.

[historyhermann]

The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder Season 2 Review

The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder is a coming-of-age animated sitcom and adventure by Bruce W. Smith and Ralph Farquhar, two well-known producers. It is a revival and soft reboot of The Proud Family, a classic Disney series by Smith which aired in the early 2000s. This review will have spoilers.

Reprinted from Pop Culture Maniacs and Wayback Machine. This was the twenty-third article I wrote for Pop Culture Maniacs. This post was originally published on February 13, 2023.

This animated series centers on Penny Proud (voiced by Kyla Pratt), a 16-year-old Black girl in the town of Smithville. She attempts to navigates her home life, filled the antics off her father, Oscar (voiced by Tommy Davidson), who owns a failing snack business, her mother, Trudy (voiced by Paula Jai Parker), a well-off veterinarian, her grandmother, Suga Mama (voiced by Jo Marie Payton), and her two siblings, Bebe and Cece. At high school, she has four friends-of-sorts: Michael Collins, Dijonay Jones, Zoey Howser, and LaCienega Boulevardez. They are voiced by EJ Johnson, Karen Malina White, Soleil Moon Frye, and Alisa Reyes respectfully. All the while, two new kids, Maya and KG, raised by two dads (Barry and Randall), try to adapt to their new life in Smithville.

The show's first season broke ground for featuring openly gay characters, unlike in the original series, such as Michael, who is also gender non-conforming. His voice actor even considered gender transition. This character is joined by an interracial couple: Barry and Randall Leibowitz-Jenkins, who voiced by two gay actors (Zachary Quinto and Billy Porter). They are the adopted fathers of Maya and Francis "KG", voiced by Keke Palmer and "A Boogie" Dubose. Palmer previously voiced Izzy Hawthorne in Lightyear, a lesbian character who has a wife named Alisha. She has also stated that she does not want her sexuality to be defined by labels and that people should be fluid when giving themselves labels.

The series has been swept in the culture wars, with claims it is promoting the "gay agenda" or is "anti-White". In reality, there are various White characters, including Zoey and Barry, and often promotes themes of racial togetherness, rather than division. Additionally, Michael is the only protagonist in the series who is part of the LGBTQ community. Barry, Randall, and Makeup Boy (voiced by Bretman Rock), with the latter beginning to date Michael later in the second season, are only recurring characters. In fact, Penny and Dijonay both have boyfriends, Darrius St. Vil (voiced by Chance the Rapper) and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Brown (voiced by Asante Blackk), by the end of the season. Furthermore, Zoey is sweet on Myron (voiced by Marcus T. Paulk), and Maya romantically connects with one of the Chang Triplets, Billy.

Like the original The Proud Family, the series is not neutral when it comes to politics. It often focuses on racial injustice, whether noting past bans on interracial marriage, reparations, prejudice of Black people toward White people, anti-Black racism, sexism, or White skin privilege. This is interwoven with an emphasis on the importance of Black history, friendship, family, indigenous rights, harmonious neighbors, paying people fairly, respecting people for who they are, going beyond the color of their skin, and the folly of celebrity worship. Many books are name-dropped throughout the series, like Africans and Native Americans, as are the names of intellectuals such as Michelle Alexander, Robin DiAngelo, Elizabeth Acevedo, Leslie T. Chang, Saeed Jones, and Ta-Nehisi Coates. Many of these names are displayed during the English class taught by Kwame (voiced by Leslie Odom, Jr.).

Similar to season one, the second season of The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder provides more background about the characters, whether about Suga Mama's short-lived romance with an indigenous cowboy named Quanah (voiced by Wes Studi), and how Barry and Randall met, or the history of the Soul Vibrations band composed of Oscar and his brothers, and Giselle. As Penny says, in one episode, "you can't know yourself unless you know where you come from". This interconnected with the meaningful, and well-done, episode in which Bebe is diagnosed with autism, with the Proud family trying to figure out what to do with him, and coming to accept him, even if he requires more attention from them.

Other episodes focus on family conflict and fissures between friends, and neighbors, all of which are resolved before the end of each episode. This includes an episode when everyone is enamored with LaCienega's uncanny athletic ability (because of her big feet) and realize they have gone into a frenzy, another about Oscar, Felix, Puff, and Suga Mama fighting one another in an absurd parody of TV court shows, and one in which animals protest the awful Proud Snacks created by Oscar Proud. One of my favorite episodes in Season 2 featured a Princess Ball, with references to other Disney princesses: Penny dressed up as Princess Tiana, Dijonay as Cinderella, LaCienega as Princess Elena, Michael as Pocahontas, Maya as Beyonce, and Zoey as Princess Merida.

There are many notable characters in The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder like the Principal Hightower (voiced by Patricia Belcher), who insults and demans the students, reporter Vanessa Vue (voiced by Brenda Song) or incredibly wealthy Wizard Kelly (voiced by Aries Spears) who is shown as too tall to fit on the screen. However, in this season, Maya comes into her own, especially in the season two finale. In the episode, the ghost of Emily (voiced by Storm Reid), a Black girl enslaved by the town's founder, Christian A. Smith, guides her, revealing her diary which proves that Smith is a slaveowner, contradicting the common town myth.

In an interesting depiction of wealth-as-power, Wizard Kelly orders the police, clad in riot gear, to stop Maya, and her friends, who are protesting a ceremony dedicating Smith, with chants and placards. As a result, all of them, and their parents, are thrown in the city jail, despite the efforts of Barry to protect his children. His detective badge shown to mean nothing, as the police, who are serving as Kelly's goons, step over it with their boots.

Although Maya is just as determined as Wednesday Addams, in Wednesday, she does nothing equivalent to her. The latter, with the help of Thing, lights the statue of Joseph Crackstone, the Pilgrim founder of Jericho, on fire, causing it to melt. In fact, Kwame counsels his students to not pull down Smith's statue. This makes it ironic, then, that some reactionary media and personalities are all up-in-arms about the series, acting like it either "ruins" the original, or is "causing" division. Where were these people when Wednesday came out? They could have said some of the same things about that series, but they did not.

In many ways, the Season Two finale of The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder sets the series apart from methods of police control over the citizenry depicted in Velma or the incompetent police force shown in The Simpsons. That is because this series emphasizes how some can control and distort history to their benefit, covering up what they don't want others to see. There is no acceptance of the town myth which Lisa Simpson conceded to in The Simpsons. Instead, the town's name is changed to Emilyville and a new statue is erected. In a possible indication of the long-standing nature of the existing economic system, Kelly becomes the mayor of the town, and faces no consequences for cracking down on Maya, her friends, family, or other town residents.

This series features many guest stars like Jane Lynch, Gabrielle Union, Al Roker, Ceelo Green, and Andre Jamal Kinney, along with other lesser-known ones like Forrest Goodluck, and sports stars Laurie Hernandez, Gabby Douglas, and Dominque Dawes. Of the guest characters, I liked Dr. Lord (voiced by Holly Robinson Peete) best as she gives Penny a chance to talk about her experiences as the oldest child in the family, in which she is given additional responsibilities.

All of the episodes of the second season of The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder all aired on February 1st, unlike the previous season, which aired over a two month time period. There's strong animation and backgrounds which make the show stand out, as does the voice acting and music selection, which fit with stories and characters. It is unfortunate this 10-episode season isn't spread out across two months, because it would be easier to watch the series and take in all that happens. Even so, this season is much less glitzy than season 1 and that is to the show's benefit.

Furthermore, I appreciate that the series did an episode based on the little-remembered, or regarded, but wild, The Proud Family Movie, which seemed like an episode from Milo Murphy's Law, especially when they are fighting the Pistachions. In some ways, the episode reminded me of the annual Treehouse of Horror episodes of The Simpsons.

It is hard to know where The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder goes from here. If it follows the recent pattern of Disney series, such as Amphibia and The Owl House, it will have at least one more season. If that was the case, it would have one more season than the original series. However, it would need another 32 episodes to match the original, which aired from 2001 to 2005. This revival is different because the episodes range from 27 to 30 minutes, similar to the first season.

This series comes at the time that Disney is producing and airing series with diverse casts, like The Ghost and Molly McGee. In fact, this year, Iwájú, Kiff, Marvel’s Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur, Primos, and Hailey's On It! are set to air. Disney has also contracted to produce series such as Cookies & Milk, Moana, and Tiana. On the other hand, Disney series with similar casts such as Mira, Royal Detective and Amphibia ended last year, while The Owl House is set to end this spring.

The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder is more unique, incorporating perspectives of Black creators, unlike Hamster & Gretel, Phineas and Ferb, Kim Possible, and Star Wars: The Bad Batch, which likely have mostly White writers rooms and have casts largely composed of White characters. As production coordinator, Breana Navickas, recently wrote, the show's writer's room is Black, and much of the staff is Black and "a mix of asian folks, latine folks, white folks". This shows in this season even more strongly than in the first season, with the series establishing itself more, and putting the original into the dustbin.

This series is not alone. Craig of the Creek, Victor and Valentino, Carmen Sandiego, Arcane, and Glitch Techs are all recent series with diverse stories and characters. As such, The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder, comes at an opportune time, when some executives are cutting back resources dedicated toward animated series, or squeezing workers in tough working conditions.

All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed the second season even more than the first, and hope that Disney orders another season sometime this year, considering the amount of people watching it. There are so many more stories to tell with these characters. This could include Penny getting new, and non-toxic friends. Even so, I doubt this will happen because the plot of the series depends too much on their existence to bring in new friends, just as Futurama would fall apart without the antics of the Planet Express crew keeping its current members. In addition, considering the issues with colorism in the original The Proud Family, and somewhat replicated in the first season, it was good to see that the Gross Sisters (Nubia, Olei, and Gina), all by Raquel Lee, only had a small part in this season. The fact that Maya had a bigger part in the season, instead of the Gross Sisters, is a welcome development.

One of the series' downfalls is repeating elements of narrative set-up in the original series. Although I still believe the series could be stronger if it focused on older versions of the cast, the second season made the characters, at their current age, workable. It didn't fall into simple tropes used in Kim Possible and Totally Spies!, both animated series centered in school environments.

Seasons 1 and 2 of The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder is currently airing on Disney+. While you are at it, you can watch The Proud Family and The Proud Family Movie on Disney+ too!

© 2023 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.

[friendlyneighbourhood-parker]

Coffee Days

Pairing: Peter Parkerx reader

Summary: A lot of people come to the cafe but from all of them one stands out, the guy who only comes when your coworker is around. one day after covering her shift you discover his love for foam art.

Word count: 4.8k

Warnings: n/a

a/n: hope you guys like it, as always feeback is appreciated! you can also read on ao3

“Can you cover my shift?”

 It wasn’t uncommon for you to have your phone on mute, most of your friends knew if they wanted to contact you, calling was a very hard way to achieve that. Almost never picking up, of course she didn’t know that, not being friends and all, just people who work together.

You’re dumb lucky Michelle Jones

“Michelle I- “

“Please, can you cover my shift?”

Even if it seemed like a question she wasn’t really asking at that point, of course you could and of course you would, why wouldn’t you? It’s not like she hasn’t done the same for you and you weren’t going to say no hearing the almost plead coming from someone who usually was closed off. You sighed.

“Sure, tomorrow right?” Fuck the final that you had to study for, college wasn’t that important either way.

“Thanks, I owe you one” you noticed the relief in her tone

Your notebook was open next to the borrowed textbook when he came in. The guy who always came whenever you and Michelle shared a shift, you never saw him besides those days and a part of you knew he came just to see her. He always seemed like there was something more, a word or a question lingering in his lips after ordering his single coffee to go, but he never said a word, not once. Just gave thanks and left.

Better luck next time mystery boy.

It was funny seeing how Michelle, the most observant person you knew wouldn’t try to get those desperate words out of him.

“Come on dude! How long are you going to pretend you come for the coffee before asking me out?” she would say in another universe where Michelle wasn’t as shy as she truly was, or that was what you thought she would do. Of course that was impossible, this was the reality and there was just one Michelle Jones.

His brown eyes wandered around before he turned around deciding to leave.

“She’s not here” you said returning your gaze to the notes from the lecture, not noticing how tense your words really made him “she asked for the day”

You didn’t know why you suddenly decided to talk, every time he came there was only one task in your mind, avoid him, but it was impossible when Michelle was busy with other customers or you were up front, still his eyes always wandered to her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“You’re not as subtle as you think you are” you smiled smugly as you closed the books “You’re here for Michelle”

He looked like a kid being caught with his hands in the cookie jar way past his bedtime, both knew you were right and still his mind wandered between the one hundred and one excuses he could give, thinking which one was the most believable even if he knew noting would change your mind.

“Not even going to ask for your coffee?” you leaned on the counter with your head resting on your hand.

He sat down on the stool in front of you, there was no way his face could get redder than this. He was cute, you wouldn’t deny it if someone asked but the way he only came when she was around and wasn’t that discreet about it made the little alarms in your head sound as loud as they could

Caution! Danger!

“Just… one for here” he looked at your books, your hands reached for them quickly taking them out of his sight, hiding comfortably behind the counter.

The day was calm, the few people that came in only ordered coffee to go and the occasional donut on the side. Until he got here, of course, sitting drinking his coffee while making you company. At first you debated whether to put your headphones hinting that making conversation wasn’t an option, but then again your boss would probably get pissed at you if he walked it.

You heard him laugh when he saw the coffee you made for him, a frown face poorly drawn on it, you couldn’t help but smile when he pulled out his phone to take a picture.

“You’re really good, I love it” he looked up at you and you could swear his eyes where shinning with excitement.

“You don’t have to lie” your arms were crossed in front of you, leaning on your back with a sincere smile

“I’m not! I swear” he took a sip from it “Fuck it’s hot”

You couldn’t contain the loud laugh that poured from your lips with a shake from your head, you reached for a napkin and gave it to him.

“Here, you can keep it just don’t tell my boss” you joked

“Your secret dies with me”

“Hope you’re not lying stranger or I’ll have to…” you made a sign next to your neck and a sound that companied it, threating him.

You both laughed.

The little bell on the door rang, meaning another costumer needed your attention, you excused yourself and walked up to the old lady who walked in, two donuts to go. She smiled and wished you a good day before walking out again, you sighed thinking about how you really needed to get back to studying.

“Peter” you heard his voice again, for a moment you had forgotten there was another person inside the café besides you.

“Excuse me?”

“My name, I’m Peter… Parker”

For some reason it felt weird knowing his name, like it wasn’t something you should know, or not really his name just one that he made up on the spot but at the same time it felt like the most common name in the world, as if you’ve heard it a million times before.

“Your names is PP?” you teased laughing a bit.

“I actually got made fun for it a lot in high school” he seemed uncomfortable, circling the rim of the mug with his thumb.

“Oh, I’m sorry… I- I didn’t mean it” you mumbled suddenly feeling dumb for treating him like you’re friends. You don’t know the guy, remember?

“Its fine really, it feels like it was a long time ago”

Your conversation continued mostly talking about unimportant stuff once the line was drawn about where your new found friendship was at, he seemed nice but your guard was still up not really wanting him to have a lot of info about you. Usually people left after finishing their orders but he didn’t, still sitting there chatting long after finishing his second coffee and the biscuit he ordered

“You know, I just realized you never game me your name” he said after standing up and straightening his jacket.

You never wore your name tag, feeling uncomfortable whenever strangers said your name mid ordering.

“If you want to find that out you’ll have to come back another day” You sat opening up your books once again.

And coming back he did, your conversations became a regular occurrence and something you looked for every Thursday. You noticed how visibly tense he got every time Michelle was around and even if you wanted to ask him about it you knew the answer he would give wouldn’t be enough, he had the habit of not really talking about that kind of stuff and you never pushed him to do it.

“You know you can always just… ask her out” you couldn’t stand seeing how he was eyeing her from afar the past five minutes without saying a word.

“I can’t” he simply responded.

“Why not? It’s not like you seem like the type of guy who loves to spend his money on this crappy coffee” you said teasing him as he grabbed his mug and drank from it.

“Your coffee is really good tho” you saw him smile sincerely

“Thanks Parker but that’s not the point and you know it” you couldn’t help but look away, feeling your cheeks heating up, your hands playing with the end of your apron.

“Yeah but- “

“No buts, just talk to her” you cut him off

“No”

“Why not!?” you leaned in

“Because she has a girlfriend” he said as a whisper closer to your face “Her name’s Gwen”

“Oh… I didn’t-“

“Guess I was too late to shoot my shot” he smiled softly when looking at her

“How did you-“

“I’ve talk to her, I still came even if you weren’t around for a while” she looked back at him and he waved “Gwen comes here pretty often, I’m still surprises you haven’t noticed”

“Well in my defence is hard to find something you weren’t looking for in the first place” you said not really thinking about it

“Aww, so you were looking for me?” he teased you, flirting in a way he didn’t know actually worked.

“Yeah, looking for the total creep that was stalking one of my co-workers” You pushed his shoulder slightly “You’re lucky I didn’t call the cops on you”

“Gotta say, I’m feeling pretty lucky” he finished up his coffee and gave you back the cup “Can I get another one?”

“Yeah sure”

You took his mug and minutes later he had a new one, filled with coffee to the brim and a little broken heart decorating the top of it, you heard him chuckle.

“Are you kidding me?”

“What? It’s for you getting rejected, cheers mate” you said in the most horrid British accent you could make “It’s on the house”

He took his phone out and took a photo of it and then one of you, you knew how much he liked to take pictures telling you how he got a part time job at the daily bugle. Still most of the time you hated when people took your photo, you always felt like the way they turned out wasn’t quite right, but for some reason Parker always found the right angle or the right lighting. You felt like yourself in every moment he captured

“Okay honey, gotta go”

That damn nickname, thanks for the lack of a name he started giving you little names he would call you, sometimes ‘mystery girl’ unknowingly mimicking your previous nickname for him, other times it was ‘coffee lord’ and or rare occasions it was ‘Honey latte’ or ‘honey’ for short. You heated the way it made your stomach feel as if it was being turned inside out.

“(y/n)” you finally said and you saw his smile grow.

“Good bye (y/n)”

✪ -- ✪ -- ✪

It was your day off but you had some spare time before going to your next class so after giving it some thought you decided to go to the café, you knew Michelle was there and how much you like her company.

“Call me MJ, all my friends do” she said one day, she was behind the counter while you mopped the floor after finishing for the day.

You gave her a big smile.

As the months passed you had gotten closer to her, learning from her how she met Gwen at a college party and how at first they couldn’t stand each other but the fact that they were friends of the same group of people pushed them to spend more time together and finally two months later she asked her out.

“You should ask Peter out, you know?”

“What are you talking about?” you didn’t look up, focusing on how tired you were and how you had to finish up quickly if you wanted to get home fast, didn’t like to walk to home alone at night

“You can fool him but not me” she smiled “I’ve seen how you look to each other”

“I’m not fooling anyone, I have no idea what you’re talking about” you lied

Of course you know what she talked about, at this point it was well past a few months since he became a regular, coming every time you were on shift, sometimes ordering something others just sitting there making you company and helping you study. You’ve gotten to the point where every slight touch felt like a burn against your skin and you couldn’t stand it.

“Yeah sure, whatever”

 The little doorbell rang and you saw the boy you were previously gossiping about leaning against the mirror, his arms crossed and his backpack laying besides him, he wore a beanie as well as the jacket he wore the first time you met. His smile was radiant and his curls were a beautiful mess.

“We’re close Parker” you rolled your eyes and continued cleaning

“I know” he smirked and took off the hat, shoving it inside his bag “I’m walking you home, it’s getting late”

You felt the mocking stare of Michelle before both of you grabbed your stuff. He was right, it was getting late.

You still didn’t know how to act around them, it was one thing when you thought nobody knew how you were slowly falling for the boy who would thank you for the coffee you made him and took a picture of the silly drawings you made on it, the one whom with a smile would make any bad day become just a normal day where he was there for you, because he just wanted to be with you. So it was a surprise when you saw him sitting on his usual stool talking with MJ with a smile on their faces.

You’ve notice how his gaze would change whenever he looked at her and how his tone softened as if he spoke to a deer scare of making a wrong move and scaring it away, it would be dumb denying the small feeling of guilt it formed in your stomach, you knew she didn’t feel that way about him and yet the way she looked at him, filled with love and a mutual understanding, it made you doubt and not about her but about you. It made you feel like maybe, just maybe, he would never be able to look at someone else like he looked at her and it would be even if it happened, it would be impossible for that person to be you.

“Honey!” he waved at you once he spotted you walking in, you saw the sheer excitement in his eyes and it made the presence of those hideous butterflies known.

You sat on the stool next to him, his knee touching yours slightly. You ordered a black coffee, not wanting to take a lot of time off of Michelle’s break.

“You can stop calling me that, you know?” you looked him in the eyes, his smile slightly dropt

“I’m sorry, does it bother you?” he seemed worried and you wanted to kick yourself mentally when he reached for your hand holding it gently.

“No” a little smile emerged on your face even if you tried to suppress it, Parker always had his way on you, his sweet smile coming back with a slight tint of red on his cheeks.

Michelle saw the same red colour on yours but decided to not point it out.

“Here you have it” Mich placed the mug in front of you and pointed at Parker with the cloth you use to clean the counter “and you get out of here, it’s almost three”

“Oh shit” he looked up at the clock on the wall “Shit! Shit! Shit! I’m so late for class, gotta go”

He reached for his backpack from behind the counter, leaned in and kissed your cheek. Michelle didn’t even try to contain that dumbfounded smile on her face when she saw Peter frozen at his sudden reaction, slowly turning to look at her. Your reaction wasn’t less funny, completely red face as you tried to find the correct way to respond.

Of course she knew how Peter felt about you, how he’s been trying to ask you out for months just like he tried with her before they became friends. She wasn’t blind knowing it all since he came in through that door for the first time, his crush on her and the small crush that she had on him. She knew that if he’d ask her before she met Gwen she would’ve said yes, but now she was glad he hadn’t found the courage in time.

 For her it was like a little sitcom, see how long it would take for the two of you to actually realize that it was mutual what you felt for each other and how stupidly oblivious you were to it, to the point of keeping Gwen informed on the progress that you’ve made. She could already hear the excited tone of her girlfriend through the phone.

“Bye Peter” you only managed to say

And that was it, the sound of your voice calling his name being the thing that he needed to finally come back to his senses and remember that he was in fact late for class leaving as quickly as he could.

“If you don’t close your mouth I swear a spider is going to crawl inside” Michelle laughed and you rolled your eyes at her “Why don’t you just ask him out?”

“Why would I, I’m pretty sure there are a ton of people that are interested on him”

“It doesn’t matter how many people are after him” she packed a croissant on a paper bag and handed it to you “What matters is who he has his eyes on, that’s on the house by the way”

“Mich, you spoil me” you took it close to your chest and putted, gaining a smile from her.

“If I don’t you would probably wait until you get home to eat”

The bell by the door rang and a blonde girl soaked wet walked in shivering. Her hair was up in a ponytail and her schoolbag hung from her shoulder, quickly Michelle took a clean towel and ran to help out Gwen.

“Didn’t check today was going to rain” she smiled after MJ cooped her face between the towel and gave her a little kiss on her forehead “Hello (Y/N)!”

“Hi Gwen, I think I left my umbrella on the back, do you want me to get it for you?” she sat next to you where Parker once were

“Don’t worry about it, I have mine, I’ll drop her by on my way back home” Michelle placed a cup with her favourite tea bag in front of her and started to hit up the kettle.

“I’m actually glad you’re here, I brought you something! Was going to give it MJ so she could give it to you but I guess the universe wants to compensate me” She shrugged and reached out to her schoolbag taking out a little keychain

 Last time you saw her you noticed the little keychain with her name on it hanging from her backpack it looked really similar to the one that had Michelle with her nickname hanging from her keys, turns out she made them herself and offered to make you one as well, you refused at first but of course she didn’t listen to you, slowly the people around her started to have those keychains as well. One of Michelle’s friends having his hanging from his old Nintendo.

“You didn’t have to” you took it and hugged her

“Told you I would give you one”

“You two get a room for god sake” MJ joked rolling her eyes before Gwen leaned in and kissed her.

“Don’t be jealous pretty girl, I only have eyes for you”

You looked at them, noticing how when they looked at each other it was like the rest of the world disappeared. It was only them and nobody could disrupt that, their gaze filled with love and the mutual knowledge that everything was going to be okay because no matter how hard something could be they would be for one another. A part of you wished you could find someone who would look at you that way and you could feel your stomach shifting when immediately your thoughts jumped to Parker.

✪ -- ✪ -- ✪

Parker: So your shift’s done by 8, right?

Me: Yeah, But I have to clean around before actually closing so I’ll be done around 8:20

That afternoon Peter came rushing, he had to get to college but wanted to stop by and say hi to you first and get his coffee to go. A while back he asked for your number and since then he would send you the photos he took of the coffees and lattes you made for him mixed with the occasional photo of you, so when you got a text asking if you were at the café you started to prepare his usual order.

A latte to go with one of your dumb drawing on the top and a biscuit.

Or at least that’s what you thought he wanted at first but then he just asked you out before you could even say anything, the order you thought he wanted still on your hands and if it weren’t for the other costumer that walked in behind him you would’ve stayed there unable to make a coherent sentence.

You placed the order on the counter, a paper bag with his name written with sharpie on it next to a smiley face and the latte “We are happy to serve” written on it. You stared into his eyes and then looked at the new costumer, walking up to him, for a second you backtracked looking at Peter before signing for him to give you a minute.

 A donut, just a donut. You gave the man his order and looked at Peter, you noticed how he hadn’t move from where he was standing. Looking at you while his hands played with the end of his t-shirt.

“Yes Peter, I would love to go out with you”

He smiled and you couldn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day.

He walked in at 8 sharp, part of you knew he would do that but still worried when he showed up and you weren’t ready, you apologized for not being done and complimented his t-shirt, you knew he liked superheroes but never thought he would be a fan of batman. Of course he told you not to worry.

“I came earlier than you told me” he sat on his usual stool “I really wanted to see you”

You stopped on your tracks and looked back at him smiling before continuing your way to the back of the shop “I’m glad you did because I missed you”

“Oh did you?”

It was hard being honest about what you felt when your mind told you the other person wouldn’t be on the same page, but for some reason tonight felt as if the rational part of your brain, the one who filtered out your words when for a well-deserved vacation

“Of course I did… who else is going to help me cleaned their spilled coffee”

you poked fun at the time he rushed in the coffee shop with a coffee already in hand, how you faked being hurt for his betray just for moments later it being splatter all over the floor thanks to him slipping

“That happened once” he laughed pointing an accusatory finger at you

“It happened once…” you smiled “and I’m still waiting for it to happen again”

He helped you with the cleaning, you insisted for him to stay sited but he didn’t listen, he never did. You walked to the back gathering your stuff before walking with him to his apartment, he lived on the opposite direction than you and yet he always insisted to walk you home, texting you once he got to his place.

“How do you always get there so fast?” you asked him once “What are you hiding Peter?”

“I’m actually best friends with Dr. Strange, he thought me how to open portals” he joked trying to hide how nervous he truly was. It worked.

Once he opened the door you couldn’t help to think how small his place was, you knew he lived alone and yet it was a hard paint to picture. It was cold and lonely. That’s probably why he was always prancing around the city.

Your gaze stopped at the sewing machine on the table next to the window, and you smiled.

“I didn’t know you knew how to sew” you pointed at the bed asking him if it was alright for you to sit there and he nodded.

“Yeah, my aunt thought me how” he smiled softly sitting in front of you.

“Didn’t know you had and aunt, how is she?”

“She was great” he sighed and your heart dropped, you were about to say something before he continued, cutting your words “She and my uncle took care of me after my parent’s passed, I’m grateful for everything they did for me”

“I’m so sorry Peter, I shouldn’t have-“ you reached for him, your hand on his knee.

It was the first time you’ve heard him talking about his past, the first time he mentioned his aunt or uncle and you wanted to know more, you wanted him to know you cared, that you would be there for everything and anything. He didn’t tell you but just hearing you calling his name, something you avoided frequently opting for his last name was the best comfort you could give to him.

“Don’t be” he smiled and placed his hand on top of yours giving it a soft squeeze. “I’ve learned that she’s still with me, in my actions and in how I choose to treat others”

You felt in silence, for him the quietness was comforting it made feeling your heartbeat increase easier, the truth is he didn’t know exactly what to do or say to get that reaction but he was thankful every time it happened. For you the silence was unbearable, not knowing how he felt or what he thought.

“I uhm…. Do you want coffee?” you pointed at the kitchen not really knowing what to say and he chuckled

“I didn’t bring you here to make me coffee” he shook his head before getting up “I actually made us dinner, just have to heat it up”

“You didn’t have to” you followed him to the kitchen, your eyes fixated on him.

“I know” he shrugged putting the plate on the microwave “I just wanted to”

You couldn’t help but smile before leaning on the counter, he mimic the action his hands almost touching yours and the closeness feeling like to much and yet not enough.

The dinner was great as it could be, he apologized for having to heat it on the microwave but you understood, his hearth raced when you laughed and his face blushed when you complimented his cooking abilities. The hours passed while the two of you talked not really paying attention to the clock. His eyes trailed off to your lips for a moment, maybe if you weren’t as focused on his hands and the way his pinkie brushed the side of your palm you would’ve noticed it. He called for your name and it felt intoxicating, he leaned closer and one hand reached for the nape of your neck holding it softly while the other brushed a strand of your hair out of the way.

“Is this okay?” his breathy words fell on your lips, he could feel your shaky breath.

“Just kiss me”

And yet you were the once breaking the distance, the one to make the move and reach for that thing you’ve longed for all this time, the feeling of his lips on top of yours. They were soft moving along slowly, he didn’t rush in knowing how he got all night to indulge on you. He was the first to pull away, his whole face flushed and his breath heavy trying to regain himself, you thought maybe he was second guessing before he moved closer to you, his hand grabbing your waist to keep you near him.

“Peter I don’t wanna go” you closed your eyes leaning on his chest.

“Then don’t” he kissed the top of your head. “Stay”

You did, spending the rest of the night on his bed with his arms around you, you could feel his fingers trailing along your side, playing with your hair or caressing your back. His voice soothing as he talked and answered every question that you made him, some answers where easy  and some were hard to say out loud, but you there for him and you made it clear in the way you looked at him and how your grasp became a tiny bit stronger when his words got stuck in his throat.

You slept there, wearing one of his t-shirts feeling him against your back, it was the best night of rest you’ve gotten in a while. When you finally woke up he greeted you with a mug filled with coffee with a really bad heart drawn on top it.

“Now I see why you think mine are good” he brought the mug to the bed pecking your lips.

“Rude!” he laughed sitting in front of you where he saw you taking your phone from the bedside table, taking a picture of the mug and then of him smiling to you.

[saturnville]

i might be in love with you.

pairing: tasm!peter x black!oc (mariah joy/mj)

warnings: nwh spoilers

content: tasm!peter realizes he is in love with mariah joy.

a/n: okay i heard this song by cynthia erivo called “i might be in love with you” and it made me want to write.

previous part is here.

divider by @firefly-graphics

He used to visit her grave every day. For hours, he'd sit perched underneath a giant, thousand year old tree until his body ached and his eyes grew weary. Each day until winter made its star-studded appearance, leaves and the pedals of her favorite flowers swirled around her grave, landing upon her name. That's how he knew she was with him, when those beautiful purple pedals made an appearance.

The visits slowly lessened. From every day to every other day, from every other day to every week, every month, and every few months. He couldn't identify whether it was growth or exhaustion that repelled him from her, but with new advances in his life, he hated to admit that he hadn't thought much of it.

Up until a day at the park with MJ and a new bunch of purple daisies sprouted from the dirt, dancing happily with the birds as the wind sang a happy tune. He found himself at the cemetery the very next day, a bunch of purple daisies in his hand and a mouthful of confessions.

"I'm sorry I haven't visited you in a few months," he said as he sat on a fresh patch of grass. "Shouldn't have left you lonely like that. Being alone sucks."

Silence.

"I, uh," Peter cleared his throat. "This is hard to admit, but I met someone, Gwen. She reminds me of you in some ways; her gentleness and kindness and eagerness to learn. She's not a scientist nor is she into solving complex equations, but she likes to read, a lot actually."

Silence.

"I found myself in another universe at one point where I met two other versions of myself. It was weird, I can't lie, but I've never had brothers before and I got to experience a sibling bond I'd never had before.

"A lot of traumatic experiences were relived, though. Electro and some other villains' from their universes. A lot of damage, heartache, and loss," Peter's swallowed painfully to manage the croak within his throat. "There's a young woman named MJ, Michelle Jones, and she fell off the side of a building. He couldn't get to her and she almost lost her life. But, I got to her before she wound up like...she wound up like you.

"It felt like some sort of redemption, that I had an opportunity to make it right, and I did. I saved her, Gwen." Peter let out a chuckle.

Silence.

Peter toyed with his shirt, the one gifted to him by MJ just a few weeks prior for his birthday. It was green, a great contrast to his brown eyes, and it quickly became his favorite article of clothing.

"I was told to learn to love again, Gwen. That it would come when I was ready or when the world sensed I was, and honestly, I never thought there'd be another woman after you. I'll never forget you, G, but I've realized it's time to move on. You'll always have a place in my heart, you always will, but MJ." Her name brought a smile to his face.

"She makes the world stop when she looks at me a-a-and I feel so free with her. She's my second chance love, at life. I think I might be in love with her. I don't know if it's too early to tell or if I'm not labeling my emotions right, but I do...I might be in love with her."

Silence.

A small bird flew and perched itself on the gravestone. Peter raised an eyebrow. Out of it's mouth fell two flowers; a purple daisy, and a yellow sunflower, MJ's favorite.

Peter blinked away the pooling tears in his eyes and prepared to stand to his feet. The wind whistled a beautiful song only he could decipher, "Tell her. Know I'm always here for you."

He made it to MJ's apartment just as the sun set over the horizon. He stopped at a florist's cart before dashing to her bohemian style home in the heart of the city. Peter knocked on the door three times before she peeled the door open with a smile on her face. She looked very relaxed and comfortable. Her favorite satin scarf around her head, her face free of any makeup, and a satin robe along her arms.

"Just in time--oh, those are pretty!"

"For you," he smiled bashfully. MJ took the bouquet of sunflowers from him and returned the smiled. "Thank you, honey. They're really pretty."

"The take out is on the coffee table and I was able to find all the Transformers movies for our marathon this weekend. Do you want to start chronologically or--"

She was silenced by the pressing of his lips against hers. MJ stumbled to reach back and drop the flowers upon the nearest flat surface. Small moans came from her as Peter continued to kiss her with an emotion she'd never known before.

Her body grew warm as his hands slipped underneath her shirt to massage her smooth skin. His name fell from her lips like a prayer when he moved to kiss along her neck, basking in the scent of shea butter and vanilla, a wonderful combination.

Peter moved back to her lips, nipping and biting until she was elongating her neck for more of him. "I love you," he said against her mouth. "so much."

MJ pulled away from him, her hands resting on his strong arms. She met his eyes, taking them in gently. They were so soft and warm like her favorite cookies. "Peter..."

"I went to visit Gwen today and...I don't know. I spent a lot of time reminiscing on what could've been and what I should've done in the past rather than accepting what it is and allowing it to strengthen me as a person.

"All of everything I experienced led me to you...I couldn't save her but you saved me, Mariah Joy. Nothing in the world can amount to the debt I owe you for that. All I know how to do is love you, if you'll let me."

MJ released a breathy laugh as a smile crept along her face. "I love you, Peter Parker...never forget that."

"Really?”

"Always.”

[kanerallels]

What if........

Spideychelle

(Tell me if i did this right I've never done something like this ask before)

This prompt is absolutely amazing!!! I'm sorry I wasn't able to come up with anything longer, but I hope you like it (also you did it perfectly!!)

(All credit to the original poster of this, I found it on Pinterest)

Pairing: Peter Parker (Tom Holland edition)/Michelle Jones

Rating: General. Light spoilers for No Way Home under the cut, but nothing too serious

Word Count: 497

Read on AO3!

If balancing a high school education and being Spiderman was hard, college was the next level. Especially MIT. Peter probably should have expected that.

Still, he was luckier than most— students, not super heroes. He didn’t know what kind of support system the other Avengers had— because he had MJ and Ned. The three of them shared an apartment, and also a schedule. Ned made breakfast, Peter made dinner, and MJ, who’d turned out to be massively untalented in the kitchen area, made lunch, which was usually sandwiches. She also made a few extra for Peter when he was out crime fighting in the evenings.

“I really appreciate you doing this,” he told her one evening. MJ was making lunch for the next day while he made mac and cheese out of the box, which he’d gotten pretty good at.

“Of course— you and Ned are doing your part,” MJ pointed out, spreading peanut butter across one piece of bread. “And I like being able to help out with your crime fighting stuff. I mean, I like hunting down multiversal super villains better, but this has less chance of death, so that’s a bonus.”

Grinning, Peter said, “That is true.”

He watched her for a moment, happiness swelling in his chest. For a little while there, he’d thought Strange was right. He’d thought he would never get to have a life as Peter Parker and as Spiderman.

But they were making it work, and he was happy. Even after everything that had happened, he still had Ned and MJ, and the knowledge that he wasn’t alone.

Pulling himself out of his thoughts, he watched MJ finish the sandwich and stick it in a plastic baggie. “There we go,” she said, sliding it towards him. “Made with love.”

Peter felt himself grinning. MJ didn’t really do the whole obvious affection thing very often, so it was nice when she did. “Awww,” he said, nudging her. “So sweet of you.”

MJ’s gaze dropped as she fidgeted a little, looking slightly embarrassed.”Well. It is under one condition.”

“Okay, what is it?”

Meeting his gaze, MJ said, “You can’t get hurt out there really badly or anything. Then it’s not made with love. In fact, I hope it tasted like despair.”

Peter wasn’t sure whether to laugh or not. But he saw just a hint of real worry in her eyes, and knew she was serious. Stepping away from their dinner, he pulled her into a hug. “I promise,” he said.

“You better not be laughing at me,” she said, her voice slightly muffled against his shoulder.

“Never,” Peter said. “Well. The “tastes like despair” thing was a little funny. But I took it very seriously, so don’t worry.”

“You better,” MJ mumbled, tightening her grip on him. “I don’t want to lose you again.”

“You won’t,” Peter promised her. And he promised himself the same thing. He would never make MJ lose him. Not if he could help it.

[rosaliestark01]

Moral of the Story

Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Requested by @itspetitfantomestuff: There's this amazing song called "Moral of the Story" by Ashe ft. Niall Horan, and in one of Niall's lines he says "Talking with your father he said that you could be mine" which gave me huge PeterXStark!Reader vibes, i was wondering if i can request an angsty story with Peter Parker and Stark!Reader based in that song pretty please?🥺❤️

Warnings: Angst, swearing, unhealthy relationship, the song made me cry 😢

So I never really knew you God, I really tried to Blindsided, addicted Thought we could really do this But really, I was foolish Hindsight, it's obvious

Peter Parker was a shoulder to cry on after your father sacrificed himself to save half the population. Neither of you had been particularly close to one another. You both went to different schools, had other friends, but you did have one thing in common. You were both mourning your dad.

"How are you feeling?" Peter asked as he sat down next to you on the dock at your father's eco-compound. The funeral had just officially ended, and the majority of guests were staying for the "reception."

"Numb," you mutter to him, not wanting to raise your voice in fear that he'd be able to hear how much pain you were really in. "You?"

Instead of answering, he began to tear up. In all the times you've interacted with him, he was always cheerful and happy to help anybody who needed it. For some reason, seeing him like this simply added to your pain.

"None of this should have happened," he finally exclaimed. He let his head fall into his hands, and you resisted the urge to hug him. You didn't have that kind of relationship with him. "If I'd been stronger, I could've-"

"You couldn't. He cared about you too, you know," you cut him off. You instantly looked away from him, not wanting him to see the tears welling up in your eyes from your sorrow and embarrassment that he heard the crack in your voice. "He did this for all of us."

"I know. I just wish I could've done something. It's not fair," He croaked. This time, you let yourself place your hand on his.

"Nothing ever is."

Talking with my lawyer She said, "Where'd you find this guy?" I said, "Young people fall in love With the wrong people sometimes"

You could still remember the way his lips felt against yours as he kissed you for the first time that night. You both needed something to cling to, so you clung to each other in hopes that you both could dull the pain at least a bit. By the end of the summer, you were dating, but it felt more like coping.

You still wonder if it was compassion that led to that kiss or if it was just the fact that nobody understood your grief better than each other. Either way, you couldn't bring yourself to regret it as much as you feel you should. You couldn't get yourself to care that it didn't feel like love.

Some mistakes get made That's alright, that's okay You can think that you're in love When you're really just in pain Some mistakes get made That's alright, that's okay In the end, it's better for me That's the moral of the story, babe

"I'm sorry, it just reminded me of him too much," Peter cried into your shoulder as he recounted what had happened. Apparently, he was going through some old photographs when he came across one of him as a child wearing an Iron Man mask. Your dad had been his hero, his idol.

"I know what you mean," you tell him, resisting the urge to cry yourself. You'd think that after a few months that it'd have gotten better. "It's like, no matter where I go, there's always something that reminds me of him. I don't know how to stop it."

This time, Peter was the one to comfort you. He knew that he'd been conflicted on whether or not this could be called love, or if it was even close, but he felt a need to tell you the one thing that kept playing in his mind at this moment,

"I love you."

"I love you too."

It's funny how a memory Turns into a bad dream And running wild turns volatile It's not funny how it changes Ended up like strangers We burned down our paper house

Peter couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't what love was supposed to feel like. Compared to other happy couples, the way that the two of you "love" each other didn't seem right. You were a shoulder to cry on, but he doesn't remember a single time since the two of you had gotten together that either of you had a memorably happy moment together.

Every single day, he worries that you'll realize this and end things with him. To everybody else, this probably doesn't seem like the kind of thing that is meant to last, yet he hopes to god that it does. He wants things to get better because, at one point, he believed that he really did love you.

Talking with your father He said that you could be mine But some people fall in love With the wrong people sometimes

Mr.Stark was well aware of Peter's growing crush on you. Although he had mixed feelings about you dating a superhero, he felt as though Peter would do right by you if only you weren't so oblivious.

"M-Mr. Stark!" It was funny to Tony how flustered Peter got after being caught staring at you as you work on some new tech with Harley Keener, one of your friends.

"Parker, you do realize that if you talk to her, you might actually have a shot," your dad stated, hoping that Peter wouldn't chicken out like last time. It was funny, but your happiness was more important than his entertainment.

"I wasn't-"

"Please, I've known about your little crush on her since the moment you met," Your dad sighs as he thinks about what to say next. He wanted to help Peter, but he didn't want to be too involved. "Look, I know I'm her father, and I'm supposed to scare boys off instead of encouraging them, but I figured I'd let you know that there's a ninety-three percent chance that she won't turn you down."

"I- You- she- she likes me?" Peter stutters at his idol, hoping that this wasn't some lie to get him to man up. He wanted you to actually like him before he asks you out. What Peter hadn't counted on was his feelings for you changing by the time he actually did.

They say it's better to have loved and lost Then never to have loved at all That could be a load of shit But I just need to tell you all

"I know things haven't been ideal between us, but you do mean a lot to me," Peter stated. The two of you were visiting your dad's old cabin for the weekend in a desperate attempt to grow closer to one another since you both started college.

"You mean a lot to me too," You sigh as you look out towards the lake. You began thinking about how you and Peter had sat in this exact spot as you comforted each other after your dad's funeral. "You've been there for me in ways nobody ever has."

"I thought that- I don't want to lose what we have," Peter didn't know why he thought that this was a good idea. Neither of you seemed happy together, yet you both cling to your failing relationship like your lives depend on it. "If- If you continue to have me, will you- maybe, marry me?"

"Yes." That was the answer that Peter had dreaded, yet he pulled you into a passionate kiss anyway.

Some mistakes get made That's alright, that's okay You can think that you're in love When you're really just engaged Some mistakes get made That's alright, that's okay In the end, it's better for me That's the moral of the story

You saw the way that he looked at her. It left a strange ache in your heart and pain that he'd never looked at you that way. Although another part of you felt relieved, you didn't feel ready to say goodbye. You were just starting to feel as though things were getting better. Like the two of you were getting better.

Michelle Jones wasn't broken like you were. She didn't need time, effort, or comfort. Maybe that was why Peter seemed to like her so much. Perhaps that was why you made up your mind on what you needed to do.

When Peter came home from college for the day, you ended your engagement. You were doing this for him, after all. He deserved to be happy. You'd move into the compound; he could keep the apartment and everything in there.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, not being able to look you in the eyes. He thought that this was what he wanted, but he felt a hollowness in his heart as you said those words.

"I'm sorry too."

[daisychainez]

Fic: Where am I at? pt.5 (pt.1, pt.2, pt.3, pt.4)

To you our memories are old news

Michelle Jones-Watson x Peter Parker

[A/N: This is no longer a drabble, evidently (!). Thanks for reading so far, please enjoy the next part of the story. Also adding to Ao3. xx]

Michelle’s in her room shaking out the melting flakes of snow from her coat, the walk back to her parent’s apartment having given her time to stew over the events of this morning. By the time she stepped into her room, she was sure of two things:

1. Peter was an asshole.

2. She still loved him.

She was hurt, she was upset, she was unbelievably angry (whether more at Peter or herself, she was yet to decide), but above all else she felt unease. Her thoughts drifted to the days and weeks after the ‘Incident’. Ned and Michelle had found themselves stranded on the Statue of Liberty, a vague recollection of a box, a lizard, a wizard, and a spider. Standing in the midst of rubble, broken scaffolding, and Lady Liberty’s broken shield, a small stinging cut over her brow, the only indication that whatever they had just experienced was in fact real. They had spent a considerable amount of time trying to figure out what had happened and how this all connected to Doctor Strange and Spider-Man (multiple Spider-Men actually as she had picked up through her dreams).

There was always a dull ache that encompassed her head when she lingered on the ‘Incident’, her and Ned later allotting that to the aftereffects of Strange’s spell. But now she had another headache, more sharp and painful as her thoughts turned to what had happened to Peter after the spell had descended.

No family, no friends, no loved ones, no home.

How had he survived, how had he pushed on through all that grief and loneliness? She vividly remembered cradling his bloody head to her chest on the rooftop of Midtown, comforting him in the immediate loss of May. She remembered how tightly he wound his arms and fingers around Michelle and Ned, both grounding him and easing some of the pain in his soul.

Another pang in her heart as she realised, he chosethis; he had chosen to push them away, chosen to keep them out of his life, he had chosen to travel down this path of loneliness.

Michelle was not a fool. She’d had her theories around why the self-sacrificial idiot had done what he had done. Which was partly the reason why she was hesitant to hunt him down in the first place. If he had wanted them, if he had wanted her, he would bloody well have kept his promise. It seemed clear to Michelle that in the time that they have been apart, things had changed, feelings had changed, new people, new experiences had. They were no longer the dove eyed teenagers they had been back at the start of Senior year.

She flopped down onto her bed, eyes starting to sting again. Somehow with everything going on, she had completely forgotten it was Christmas Eve, the light already fading in her window as the evening soon approached.

A buzz came from her phone and she spied a text from Ned.

Ned: I’ve managed to convince him to stay with me tonight. I am still hoping you can make it over to mine for presents tomorrow though but understand if you need the space.

She doesn’t bother responding. The last thing she needed was to see Peter’s puppy dog eyes, the flurry of emotions, and to see how much it means to him to be surrounded by people after having endured two Christmas’s alone. She reminded herself this was just the consequences to his own actions. Which he could have easily remedied if he had wanted to.

—

Michelle did not go over to the Leeds’ household as she had originally planned after Christmas lunch, opting instead to accompany her parents on their visit to friends a few blocks down. She hadn’t been over to the Mitchell’s home since she was in high school, but it was pleasant enough to see them and their two teenage boys.

Mrs. Mitchell had quietly approached her as she sat and stared out of the window on the three storey walk up, a soft smile on her lips as she nodded over towards her two gangly teens putting on their winter hats and coats. ‘We’ve made some cakes and desserts for the shelter down the street. There are actually quite a few boxes to take over, I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind helping the boys? It seemed like you were a bit distracted, some fresh air might help. If not, no problem my dear, I’m sure my husband would be happy to accompany the boys.’

Michelle smiled back warmly, it was true, she was incredibly distracted today. She didn’t want to dwell on why. ‘That’s not a problem at all, more than happy to help Linda.’ She gathered her coat, and gloves, a quick kiss to her mother’s cheek before picking up three boxes from the kitchen counter and following the boys out of the door.

—

The walk was thankfully short, and she was grateful with all the snow and ice that she had opted for the high grip flats on her feet, even if according to her mother didn’t necessarily go with the pretty red dress she’d worn for Christmas.

Adam, the taller of the boys, turned to her with a shy smile once they’d entered the building. ‘Erm, so once we’ve dropped these off to the kitchen, Dan and I will be sticking around for a bit just to talk to some of the people here. You’re more than welcome to go back to ours if you don’t want to stay, I know this is all a bit last minute.’

She looked around, her eyes quickly glancing over the various people from all different walks of life huddling around communal tables, a flicker of sadness as she realised the last time she had been here was to support May during a F.E.A.S.T fundraiser. Her eyes flicked over to the far wall where she could spy a large mural of May, her million watts smile proudly on display. ‘No, I think I’ll stay. It’s Christmas, only right to share the festive cheer.’

‘Festive cheer?’ Adam let his jaw drop slightly. ‘That is sounlike you but amazing all the same; the kitchen is just through here.’

Adam led them over to the double hinged doors leading into an industrial kitchen area, heading over to the nearest counter space, and setting down the boxes in his arms. Michelle did the same.

There was a sound of doors opening on the opposite side of the kitchen area, a voice drifting through. ‘Hey Adam, Dan, impeccable timing. I’ll sort these, if you could please go and give a hand to Mabel in the back with wrapping some presents, that would be really appreciated.’

Michelle was rooted to her spot, her body refusing to turn around as she stared straight ahead at the wall in front of her.

‘Thanks Pete, we’ll head over now.’ Adam turned to Michelle, gently nudging her shoulder. ‘Meesh, you can come with us if you want or feel free to go back out there and start mingling. I’m sure Pete may even appreciate an extra pair of hands here.’ He leaned in closer, whispering conspiratorially. ‘He can be quite the klutz.’ She turned slightly, giving a curt nod as Adam and Dan moved towards the back of the kitchen area near where Peter had just came through.

She turned slowly, hands gripping onto her coat sleeves as she glanced over to where Peter stood. His brows where slightly furrowed as he tapped a pen against a clipboard in his hands, muttering quietly to himself. Wearing a mustard button down with the arms rolled up to near his elbows, she could spy a little light up Rudolph pin on his chest.

Her breath hitched, unsure what to do, unable to move. His eyes flicked up to her momentarily, before resting back on the paper in front of him, growing wide as recognition dawned on him. His eye snapped back to hers, mouth opening and closing like a fish as he took her in fully from head to toe. ‘Er, hi…’ He squeaked out eventually when he regained his ability for speech.

She stuffed her hands into her pockets, her jaws clenched as she responded back with a taut smile.

A few seconds passed in silence as both shared a look of unease before the double doors slammed open with the arrival of a few volunteers. ‘Pete, where do you want us. Sandy, James and I are finished with the food line.’

‘Er, yes, thanks Harry.’ Peter was flustered, looking down at his clipboard. ‘Er, next is desserts which are stacked up over there. They just need to be sorted.’ Peter pointed over to Michelle’s general area causing the attention of all three new arrivals to fall on her.

‘Wow.’ The one she presumed to be Harry flashed her a dazzling grin as she he looked her over. ‘And where have you been all my life.’

The shorter woman to his side stepped forward placing a hand against his chest, flashing Michelle a quick smile of dismay. ‘Harry, stop being such a flirt.’ She turned to Michelle properly now, a smirk slowly forming on her lips. ‘Sorry about him, can never tell when to keep his mouth shut, especially around such a beautiful girl.’

Okay, great. Michelle now felt she was being hit on by two people. She flashed them both an awkward smile, flicking a thumb up to the door behind Peter. ‘I think I’m needed over there…’ She quickly walked over to the other side of the kitchen, making her way to the doors Adam and Dan had left through, her eyes focused on the doors and not the man standing nearby.

She stopped abruptly when she felt a slight tug on her hand. She turned slightly, looking down at the fingers slowly grasping hers. She could feel her heart stuttering in her chest, the smell of his sandalwood cologne hanging in the air between them. He moved closer to her, shielding her, conscience of the audience across the other side of the room. He rubbed a thumb over her knuckles, his head turned towards her as she kept her gaze on the door ahead. ‘Can we please talk?’ She flicked her her head over to his, her eyebrows kitting together as she looked at him closely for a few seconds.

‘I don’t know what you think we need to talk about Peter.’ Her voice was quiet but firm. ‘You made it very clear that we don’t need you and you definitely don’t need us.’ She jerked her hand away from his, a flash of anger running through her eyes. Taking a step around him, she exited through the doors behind.

Peter’s eyes lingered on her retreating back, absorbing the coldness in her words. He sighed heavily, his hands clenching into fists as he remembered the despair on her face from the day before. This was not how he wanted things to go.

His attention was brought back to the room when Harry let out a short wolf whistle.

‘Damn, who is that girl? She’s like frickin supermodel gorgeous. Do you think I stand a chance coz I want her so bad.’ Harry turns to clasp an arm around James. ‘I don’t even know her name. Damnit.’

‘She is way out of your league dude. And it seems you already have competition from Sally over here, but gotta admit, she is quite the something. If me and Chantelle weren’t going so steady, damn, maybe I’d give it a shot.’ The three of them nattered on as they sorted through the assortment of desserts.

Peter just hoped no one noticed the finger shaped dents in the metal counter tops where his hands had been resting or not until at least he could form them back into shape.

[cassies-closet]

Style Q&As from the old SkinsLife website

Hi guys! In my search to find the striped hoodie Cassie wears at the end of her series 1 episode, I found the old SkinsLife website, where Edward Gibbon (the costume designer) did his Q&As before they moved over to the e4 website.  Unfortunately, not all of it has been archived, but there’s a lot of good stuff about where the series 2 costumes come from, and a ton of questions about Cassie’s clothes.

Here’s what I could find.  I’ll put all of the Cassie questions at the top and then all of the other ones under a cut:

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Hellie Cory: Can you please tell me where they got Cassie's skirt?? I absolutely love it and I've been searching for ages with no luck : (

Edward: Cassie's skirt is from a small Japanese designer in Camden (and well spotted Olivia xx the fabric is from Ikea.)

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TanitaAlethia: Im so happy about this. I have always wanted a nice, not sexy (like in costumes shops, there gross) little sailor outfit. When Cassi had one on, i almost fell of my chair, i love love LOVE it. So i was wondering, where an earth did you fined it? Thankyou =] Tanita-Alethia

Edward: Cassie's sailor top was from New York, but you can always try an Army Surplus store or maybe Camden if you're anywhere near London. Let me know how you get on!

------------------------------- evil_daisys: hey, i wasnt sure where to put this,, but were did you find the dress cassie wore in episode 1 of season one at the party? and episode 2 of season one she wore at michelles? i love the way she dresses its so cute and girly and still slightly different =)

Edward: Both of Cassies dresses were vintage pieces from the 60s and 50s respectively - keep your eye out wherever you are and never turn down an invite to a jumble sale ! -------------------------------

AmyyB: hi edward, can you please tell me where cassies pink chiffon top and grey socks that she wears in chris' episode? thanks sweetheart keep up the good work x

Edward: cassies' chiffon top was from Top Shop and the socks are from H&M.; --------------------------------------

maxine: heya, i was just wondering where cassie's bow t-shirt is from, from the latest advert? ♥x

Edward: cassie's bow t-shirt was from TopShop ------------------------------------------------

Franchesca Allen: Hi im really into weird and unusual style and i love cassie's. I was wondering if you could tell me where you get most of her clothes. And i was wondering in series 2 effy's episode whats she wearing with the leopard skin tights, what top is it? Please reply i've wrote before and got no reply :) Thanks and keep up the amazing brainstorms with the costumes xx

Edward: Cassies clothes are from all over the place ! Her style is a mixture of amazing vintage pieces, charity shop finds, vintage designer stuff and high street sale stuff (normally the things no one else wants ! ) The top you are talking about was a vintage nylon 'teddy'(an all in one , shorts and top underwear item ). This year she has been wearing a lot of underwear as outerwear so keep your eyes peeled in charity shops and don't be afraid to rummage through dead peoples' clothes! ------------------------------------------------

rachey_babey: hi can you please tell me where cassies gold high hees are from that she's wearing when she spills the milk and could you please tell me where the dress / nightdress cassie wore when she was sitting on the couch with chris and watching telly is from? i think it was white with a green or blue rim. ta.

Edward: Cassie's gold shoes are character shoes from a dance shop , customised with gold leaf and cassie's nightdress was a plain cream dress from H&M; which we customised with green lace ------------------------------- sarinda: hello, i really love cassie's style, i love going to jumble sales and charity shops looking for vintage finds so its really great that there is someone like that on tv. i was wondering where you got cassie's red skirt and gold shoes when she is at her exam? and also where her bra if from when she is getting dressed before that. thank you xx =]

Edward: Thanks, Sarinda. Cassie's skirt was Prada, shoes from Bertie and bra from M&S...;

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Lauren Jones: Hey I was hoping you could please tell me where Casie's night dress with the skeleton on it is from?? I have been looking everywhere and cant even find something similar! I would love to know where I could get one from please x

Edward: Cassie's skeleton dress was from TopShop Unique. It's probably not available any more, I'm afraid, but keep looking - you never know! ------------------------------------------------ Leelee: Helloo! My question is regarding the reaons behind Cassie's rapid change in clothing style in episode 9 when she arrives in NYC. At first I simply assumed it was to make her seem more vagrant looking, as though she was wearing simply what she grabbed in the dash. But then in the last scene of the episode, she is running down the street and is in another compltely out of character outfit, and wondered that would she really have all these clothes that she just never wears? Was there any specific reason as to this change? Thanks!

Edward: By the time we see Cassie in NYC she has been on the road for a while and grabbed clothes wherever she finds them , if they don't seem quite like what she normally wears that's because of what she has been through and the clothes she goes running in are Adams - see clothes tell a story as well ! ------------------------------------------------ asdfghjklxx: hii i was just wondering if you could tell me where cassies boots and jeans were from that she was wearing in the last episode when she arrives in new york, also where is the red and white candy striped skirt that she wears with the bow tshirt in her exam from? thanksss xxx

Edward: The jeans are from Uniqlo and then distressed, the boots from a Charity shop and the skirt by Prada

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meli_x: In the latest episode where was cassies t shirt with the bow on from and the socks she was wearing with that outfit (when she was in the exam). also her hairclip with two robins in (i think) and the necklace with the trophy on and her stripy dress from when she met chris' mom thanks :) x

Edward: the t-shirt was from TopShop, socks from Noa Noa and the birds were christmas decorations from a craft shop... ------------------------------------------------

Sara: Hey Edward, any chance you could tell me where Cassie's necklace (the cup/trophy) that she wears throughout ep. 9 is from? Thank you very much, loving your work!

Edward: Cassie's necklace was made from a piece of ribbon and an old badge from a Vintage Fair. It said 'victory' on it, if that helps. ------------------------------------------------

Danni: hey, i was wandering where cassies big blue jacket/coat was from, the one where she first arrives in new york? thankyou :)

Edward: Cassie's jacket was a vintage American College jacket - which was worn by Chris in the last series on the school trip to Russia, adding a nice bit of continuity ! ------------------------------------------------

rachael tallentire: hey 2 thngs i want to know where is cassies skeleton dress/nightie she wears in the last episode and also where is her top she wears for her exam from?

Edward:- both are from TopShop Unique range...

And a few Effy questions as well:

Munchkin: Where is the dress Effy wore to the rave in episode 1 series 2 from? i absolutely love her style, you dress her amazingly, it matches her personality exactly. please show us more of effie she is immense!!

Edward: Effy's rave dress was made by customising 2 dresses: one from Oasis and the other a vintage one from a charity shop...

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Michelle123: I hope this doesn't sound pervy but where is Effy's underwear from when she is in her room with Sid? x

Edward: Effy's underwear was from Primark and M&S; !

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larry the lady: Must, must, must know where Effy's jeans or leggins or what ever are from. i could die happy if i could get a pair. I'm on about the large striped black and white ones. XD oh and where would effy's character typically shop for her rave clothing. Love love love xxx P.s the black and white striped jean things, remember, we want them!! lol

Edward: Effy's jeans were from phunky phish/ Effy loves shopping in unexpected places - other peoples houses / old ladies wardrobes / her gran's charity bag and then she customises with scissors and a blowtorch !

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Other costume questions:

Pascha Rix: I really loved the gorgeous white shorts that Michele was wearing once in a club scene when she was dancing up against two other guys. The shorts were tiny, white and with pink sequins on them and they were absolutely gorgeous! Where do you also tend to look for other clothes she wears? Are there particular shops you goto?

Edward: The skirt's from Top shop but you can make your own if you like: hack off a pair of old jeans as high as you dare and then cover randomly with sequins...

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Kris Jones: I'd just like to know whether ALL the actors' clothes are chosen by stylists, or do some of them get to wear their own stuff? Do you even choose their pants?

Edward: Pretty much everything they wear is chosen by me - especially their pants and socks; they play an important part in defining their characters.....

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Savethesoundsystem: I wanna know where sid's yellow/orange nikes and the headphones t-shirt are from in episode 3! Oh and chris' flags of the world jacket!

Edward: Mike's trainers are retro Waffle by Nike, the headphone t- shirt is by 77 and the Flag Jacket was a rare vintage find.

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Ben Smith: Hi, the trainers maxxie's wearing in ep2 when hes taking off his superman costume.. where are they from? And the luminous yellow stripey tshirt in ep 3? Cheers.

Edward: Ben Smith - Maxxies' trainers are Nike Air Force hi-tops and his T- shirt was from Top Man.

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Stephan: I was just thinking.. i want all of Maxxie's clothing, shoes. lol. I watched a clip from episode 4! And i would like to know where did you get the stuff (shoes, shirt, jacket, everything...) he was wearing when he came to sit on the grass with Anwar and Michelles stepsister?? I got a pic, but isn't clear...

Edward: Hi Stephan, The jacket's Nike, The T-shirt's Etnies and the hat's from River Island.

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Emul 8: Where's Chris' shirt from that says "I love (heart) hate" from the episode 4 series 2 preview from?

Edward: The 'I love Hate' T-shirt is by 77 and Maxxie's orange shoes are from Polo.

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hsto1234: hi! i would really like to know where Chris' t shirt in episode 1 series 2 is from? its white with 'pretty vacant' written on it. thanx

Edward: The 'Pretty Vacant' T-shirt is by by Japanese label KTZ and it's available from Concrete or Koko To Zai.

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James Davidson: i Love the clothes tony wears, where's the best places to look? thanks james :)

Edward: Tony's favourite labels are Farah, Junk De Luxe, Buckler, Penguin and Nike...

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Gloria Good Chris wears a yellow type jacket a lot of the time. He was wearing it on the last episode (Series 2:Episode 3). Really want to know where it is from !

Edward: Chris' yellow jacket is from American Apparel . --------------------------------------------------

Thomas Judes Kaplan: heya, i'd be pleased to know where you guys found chris white tee shirt with wasted brit youth tagged on it with yellow pink and orange, the one we can see in episode 5 thanx and if you need fucked up french fashion tips (maybe for a series 3 french character), i'd be honored to help you :)

Edward: thomas and everyone else - Chris' wasted British Youth is by Unconditional (available from Concrete and Selfridges ) and would love to see some fucked up French Style! put some up in your profile so we can see... ------------------------------------------------

Rhiannon Irving: Hi! Where are Jal's necklace and green dress from Episode 5 from? Many thanks :-) xx

Edward: Jal's dress is by The Prisoners of St. Petersbourg (from Kokon To Zai ) and necklace is by Chateau Roux ------------------------------------------------

ryan keys: Edward i love the top that chris is wearing, the one that looks like a shirt and bow tie. where did you get it?

Edward: Chris shirt and bow tie t-shirt is by Unconditional ------------------------------------------------

charlie lewis: Do you know where i can find tonys burgandy cardigan featured in the first episode of series 2 where can i find this hoody josh is wearing in series 1? Thankx alot

Edward: Tony's cardigan is from Zara and Josh's hoody is a customised cheap white hoody from primark ------------------------------------------------

Jman: Hi, I'd really like to know where Maxxie's necklace from Series 2 Episode 1 is from - the bronze one with the dice. Thanks & great website BTW!

Edward: Maxxie's dice necklace was from River Island ------------------------------------------------

legoac: can you tell me where the following are from?: -maxxie's t-shirt, trousers, and shoes from ep. 1's rooftop dance scene -chris's grey and white long sleeve shirt in careers officer scene -anwar's long sleeve striped yellow and white shirt in club scene (the one under the polo) -chris's green belt in scene where cassie shows him the notice thanks!

Edward: Maxxies t-shirt was from All Saints, trousers from Jungle or your local Army Surplus. The shoes are Lacoste. Chris' grey and white shirt was by Buckler, Anwar's yellow stripe t- shirt by H & M and Chris' belt from Honor Lulu ( a great 50s shop in Bristol).... ------------------------------------------------

Lewis Jones: can u tell me where maxxies checkered shirt from episode 4 series 2 is from please.

Edward: Maxxie's check shirt is by Junk de Luxe ------------------------------------------------

Evans17: In episode 5. just after swimming, tony was wearin a cardigan an a shirt where are they from??

Edward: Tony's cardigan is by Zara and shirt and tie are by Junk de Luxe. ------------------------------------------------

Pixies: Jal's big gold necklace in episode five. She wears it at the beginning when she is sitting on the bench with chris (where they stick paper on each others foreheads) and at the party when she gets up on stage. its impossible to make out what it says and i NEEEEED it. thanks a bunch :) xx

Edward: Jal's necklace is by Chateau Roux and says Chateau. Hope that helps! ------------------------------------------------

Bex Crawley: Heya, i was just wondering in episode 5, where is Jal's dinosaur jacket from? It is so cool! thanks xx

Edward: Jal's jacket has got chickens on and is from SkunkFunk ------------------------------------------------

And finally, for red polka dot - Chris' red cardigan is from a charity shop and Anwars jacket is by 55DSL

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chook: Hey there, just wanting to know where anwars hoodie jumper is from...he wore it in the last episode. thanks

Edward: Hi chook - Anwar's hoody is by Artful Dodger... ------------------------------------------------

zander: hey edward i was wondering where the pink cardigan maxxie wears in the the adverts to promote skins two, the t-shirt under it and his trousers are from?likein the style thanks!

Edward: Maxxie's cardigan was from Zara, t-shirt from Etnes and trousers from Cos ------------------------------------------------

pinkdreamz: from season one. the dress michelle wears in episode one, the black and white one, where is it from? this might be rude, but what do u guys do with the clothes after the show? Edward: Michelles's grey/black dress was from Oasis. At the end of filming we have a costume sale for cast and crew and anything not sold we hang onto or donate to charity - don;t worry, not a rude question at all!

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Joe Wood: wer did tony get his bed sheets and wear did u get sids hat =) and wear did he get that top which makes sounds in series 1? cheers fella

Edward: Tony's duvet cover was specially made for the show , Sid has many different beanies from H&M; primarily and Mega Dog was a one off creation ! ------------------------------------------------

dannymilhouse: wat r sids favourite makes/designer????? and wat shops cud i get them makes from????????????

Edward: Sid loves Plain Lazy , Nike, jumble sales and skips ! ------------------------------------------------

Foxy: Where would one find the tan belt that tony is adorning his suit with in Episode 6? It looks similiar to paul smith.. i may be wrong.. AlSO the waistcoat toby is wearing? Cheerss

Edward: Tony's yellow belt was a ladies' belt from Gap ! and Toby's waistcoat is a period early 20th. century piece from an antique clothing market (try Blind Lemon's website for similar fairs ) ------------------------------------------------ Bapo: Hi Edward, I am wondering where you found Sid's military jacket that he wears in the Secret Party special episode... Much love from France to all the Skins family!

Edward: Sid's military jacket is an original from a costume hire shop in Bristol - try vintage army surplus clothes stores or markets ------------------------------------------------

Louis: Hey Edward, I absolutely adoore your taste, especially tony's clothes and i was wondering where you got his black polo with white stripes that he wears in episode 6 please...?

Edward: Tony's black/white stripe polo is by Farah , pink/black by Topman ------------------------------------------------

Jowellzz: hey edward, I know this isn't series 2 related but, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Maxxies brown coat and blue-checked hat in Season 1 Episode 6 where they go to Russia. could you tell where they're from? xx

Edward: Maxxie's coat was from H&M; and hat by Etnies ------------------------------------------------ JimBuns: Hi Edward, i hope u guys can help out, do you know where i can i find that grey cardigan with pink and blue circles on it, that chris wears in the club , series 2 on episode 5, ive been lookin for it every where, any help is much appreciated

Edward: Chris' cardigan was from Behave on Lexington Street in London ------------------------------------------------

Pixies: Hey edward thanks for responding! I have my Chateux necklace ordered jal style :D could you please tell me where michelle's flowery necklace is from in last nights episode? thanks x

Edward: Michelle's necklace is vintage plastic 60s from a market -------------------------------------- Rubyred: Hey, would you be able to tell me where the outfit that that girl Tony meets in the club is wearing there is from and also what she's wearing at the university?

Edward: Beth's dress in the club is from Kate Moss for Top Shop , shoes vintage Dolce and Gabbana at the University her vests are from Miss Selfridge and Gap, jeans by Cheap Monday, belt from Urban Outfitters and shoes from Gap. ------------------------------------------------

Abby Fletcher: jal's green shirt and yellow top when she finds out shes pregnant NOW! o.. i mean... it really would be nice of you... :)?

Edward: Jal's green shirt from H&M; , yellow top by People's Market.

------------------------------------------------

Kim Matthews: hi edward, could you tell me where michelle got her cow print pyjamas from in series 2 episode 7? also where did you get the blue top she was wearing when she went round to chris's looking for jal in the last episode? thanksxx

Edward: Michelle's pjs were from La Senza and her blue top was from Oasis ------------------------------------------------ red polka dots: thanks loads for telling where anwars jcket was from, its great. but could u plz tell me where to get maxxies jeans in this pic. they are so amazing!!!!!! thank u

Edward: Maxxie's jeans were by Replay ------------------------------------------------ tommy the 2nd: hey edward could you please tell me where to get maxxies great hat from episode 1 series 1. its soooo great!!!

Edward: Maxxie's hat was from H&M; ------------------------------------------------ Maciej: Hello Edward. I have trouble with shoes. I was just wondering if you could give me some advice. I like Maxxie's style, but I still don't know what should I pick. The clothes I mostly wear are from American Eagle (ae.com), no ripped jeans though. I don't think ripped jeans look nice. I also don't wear baggy jeans. I'm 6'2" and kind of skinny (pant size: 30x34 or 31x34). My shoe size is 12.5. So I'm big, skinny guy with big feet. I have no sense in how a shoe should match. I was just wondering if you could tell me what would look best on my feet from a brand like Nike, Puma, or one I could easily get in Chicago area. Btw. love watching Skins :-) Thanks.

Edward: the best look for fairly big feet is the plainest styles of trainers - good old Converse are a safe choice, mess it up with some of the great colours they do . Old school trainers like Nike Tennis shoes or their retro Waffle style / addidas gazelle or stan Smiths . Swear is a British label that does great very flat plain trainers with a twist - they have a brilliant new collection in collaboration with Hummel . So basically the plainer and flatter the better, avoid anything with chunky soles and too much detailing . ------------------------------------------------ HaydenWing: hi Edward, could you please tell me where can i get Maxxie's bag in Ep. 8 when he comes into the classroom with James. Thankies!

Edward: Maxxie's bag is by Freitag , who make great bags from recycled materials like tyres ,seat belts and inner tubes ------------------------------------------------ Chris Murray: Hey Edward, cheers for looking :) Could you tell me where Chris' tiger skin pink and black top is from, the one he's wearing in Episode 2? Its the coolest thing I've seen him wear!!

Edward: Chris's tiger t-shirt is from Behave on Lexington Street ------------------------------------------------ windinthewire: please can you say where jal got her giraffe earings from, i love them and reaaaally want a pair!

Edward: Jal's earings were from TopShop ------------------------------------------------ AlexGabriel: Hiya. I'd like to know where Maxxie's grey trousers are from, the ones he wears when he comes into the classroom with James.

Edward: Maxxie's trousers were from Cos ------------------------------------------------ trainstobrasil: could you please tell me what Jal's book bag is in episode 8 this season? the lovely yellow one with the design that she carries around throughout the episode. I loved it! thanks :)

Edward: Jal's bag is by Eastpak ------------------------------------------------

Abby Fletcher: hey, just wondered where jal's yellow dress with the black shirt underneath came from, and the earrings she has in in the audition! thanks much! xx

Edward: Jal's yellow dress was from Monsoon and the brown shirt underneath was Calvin Klein Jeans ------------------------------------------------ Jerry: Hi, I was just wondering what bag Tony wears in season 1, it looks like a Gucci bag but I never get a good look at it. The name of it would be swell!

Edward: Tony's bag was an unbranded one from Camden Market ------------------------------------------------ verity: hey, wondering where michelle's silver vest in tonights episode came from. and her vests in general :) then i just need to wait for some warmer weather..! thanks

Edward: Michelle's silver vest was from Kate Moss for Top Shop - her vests are from all over , American Apparel is great for brilliant coloured basics made in ethical factories ( much better for your conscience and the world than Primark !)

Episode 7

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moppet: Hey Edward, I just want to say I think the overall look of the characters in the show is amazing so whatever you are doing with the wardrobe you are doing it extremely well! I hate to be the 1,000,000,000th person to ask you this but...in Michelle's episode (Series 2, Episode 4) she wears a pair of skirt dungarees or a skirt with braces made of denimn. I would love it if you could tell me where you found it? Or where I could find a similar item? I know several people have already asked you on this about it. I would really appreciate it if you could get back to us about it. It would actually mean a lot! much love, moppet xx

Edward: Really sorry but can't actually remember what label Michelle's dungaree skirt was - it was a TKMaxx find - but try Lees new stuff designed by Jane Birkin for something silmilair ------------------------------------------------ HarrietBABESS: Hi, i was wondering if you could please tell me where michelle's necklace is from in her lost weeks diary, the black bow one, and effy's dress she wears to the club in series 2 episode 7? I would really love to know where to get them. Thanks

Edward: Michelles necklace was from Warehouse and Effy's dress was created from a vintage beaded dress , customised over another dress from Oasis - so sharpen those scissors and start creating ! ------------------------------------------------ geodude: hi i was just wondering if you could tell me wer you get the majority of chris' vest tops from i just think there so good that i have to have one especially this one!! thanks XD

Edward: a lot of Chris' vests are 70s deadstock - original stuff that was never sold - from markets and vintage shops - try some of the retro stalls in Camden or local car boot sales ------------------------------------------------ christian20: Hey I was just wondering if you could tell me where Maxxie's jacket is from that he wore at the skins secret party??? thanx

Edward: Maxxies' rowing blazer was hired from a Bristol Costume Shop and is probably about 100 years old - still looks good doesn't it , just goes to show great style never goes out of fashion . ------------------------------------------------

alex: hi edward, i've been spending my internet millions on some new clothes recently. can i tell everyone about them? (Note: Alex, despite his yuppy question, is not the sugar daddy he claims to be. You've been warned, girls...Ed.)

Alex - we need photos of you modelling your new looks maybe with some of your Skins' co-workers ! ------------------------------------------------ AnnaBanana: Hi Edward! First of all, well done on your supreme costume choosing, its impeccible! I was wonder where Chris' fluffy hat from the Skins 2 opening credits is from? Its pretty much the best hat i have ever witnessed :0 Thanks

Edward: Chris' fluffy hat was from the brilliant hip/hop stall in St. Nicholas's Market in Bristol ------------------------------------------------ Bridget Burton: hi i was just wondering if you could tell me where you got Jal's Shirt, shorts and (i think they were Nike) Trainers rom episode 1 series 2, where she and chris go to pick up Tony from Maxxie's. That would be very helpful.x

Edward: Jal's shirt was from H&M;, shorts were from Uniqlo and her trainers were indeed Nike . ------------------------------------------------

mindemo: hey edward...i was wondering where maxxie got that purple and silver nylon jacket in his unseen episode on his myspace...cheers mate...haz...XO

Edward: maxxie's jacket is from Nike ------------------------------------------------ SamR: Could you tell me where the outfit Tony wore to the university came from please? Thanks

Edward: Tony's shirt from Junk de Luxe , tie by American Apparel , jacket by Parkes , trousers from Cos , belt by Gap shoes by Converse ------------------------------------------------ Grantlock: Please could u tell me if theres a peoples market shop in bristol or wher i could get the clothes from fank you!!!:D x

Edward: Not sure if People's Market sell in Bristol - it's available in Number 22 on Carnaby Street and TopMan at Oxford Circus ------------------------------------------------

Kaz: Hi Edward, I didn't get my question answered last time and I really need those socks lol. Was just wondering if you could tell me where they were from? Michelles socks in episode 1 when shes in the club and outside with Sid

Edward: Michelle's socks were from American Apparel ------------------------------------------------

charlie lewis: hi. Do you know where i can find the tank top chris is wearing at the end of the latest episode, the one with horses or something on it. cheers.

Edward: chris' vest was 70s deadstock from Camden Market ------------------------------------------------

john Rainey: hi jakes yellow/orange cardigan from the start of the effy episode? can you tell me where it's from?

Edward: jake's cardigan was an old ladie's from a jumble sale

Episode 9

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Dave Gee: Hi, can you tell me where Tony got his pink underwear and t-shirt from, please? It was the episode where Effy's mad mate came over.

Edward: Pay attention, Dave! Tony's underwear was pink due to Effy's inefficiency in the washing department! ------------------------------------------------

Christina_Marie: Hi, i was just wondering where Michelles green dress comes from in the calander cover photo below theres a photo. And also were do Jal's pink star earing come from which she too wore in the same photo? Thanks xx

Edward: Michelle's dress was by Lux from Urban Outfitters and Jal's earings were from H & M.

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Branwen: Hi edward can somebody PLEASE tell me where jal got her white dress top she wears in episode 8 series 2 when shes at her music audition, ive asked like 8 times lol! Thanks a lot xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Edward: Jal's audition dress was from Oasis - well asked!

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snoogins: This may sound like a stupid question, but i thought you should be the one to ask. I have a big problem buying trousers for myself. I dunno if it's just my frame (I'm 6 foot and pretty thin). But anything outside of blue jeans look awkward on me. I was wondering if you had any tips when look for mens trousers. Oh and everyone always asks where certain characters shop. I was wanting to know whats your own favourite brands of clothing?

Edward: Hi snoogins. Blue jeans are a pretty good basic for any look - take advantage of your height by maybe wearing trousers a bit shorter than you normally would - Farah have a great range of trousers that suit all shapes, so check them out. My favourite labels are Margaret Howell, Vivienne Westwood, Thom Browne and thanks for asking... ------------------------------------------------

skinsfreak: hey edward, was just wondering where Chris's Monkey Man t shirt was from?

Edward: Chris' Monkey Man was specially designed by me.

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beth babe: hi edward:) could you please tell me where michelles gold-like jeans are from that she wears with the silver vest in episode 8? also where is the blue vest top and the orange bra from that she wears? i cant remember which episode she wore them in sorry, thanks so much! the skins style owns:) x

Edward: Michelle's gold jeans were from Morgan , blue vest from Oasis and orange bra from La Senza. ------------------------------------------------

[storyofsin]

Do you know anything about the movie Performance 1970? If so please would you share your knowledge with us, I find the whole thing so intriguing but know nothing.

Okay I know I received this ask well over a month ago but I rewatched Performance last night and finally feel prepared to talk about it. I'm going to be separating this into two parts; behind the scenes drama and actual film discussion.

Behind the scenes drama:

Okay so the infamous drama that went down that this is known for is that Keith Richards accused Anita Pallenberg with having an affair on Mick Jagger while on set. This almost broke up The Rolling Stones (kind of like how Brian Jones wanted quiet after Anita left him for Keith) but obviously Mick and Keith were able to get over it and I believe not too long after filming Anita found out she was pregnant with her and Keith's first son Marlon. I remember reading stuff that supposedly Keith presumed that the baby might not have been his but christ that boy is Keith's clone.

However I should also mention that initially Marianne Faithfull was supposed to have Anita's role but she found out she was pregnant and had to be recasted (around that time Anita found out she was pregnant as well but decided to have an abortion so she could keep the role - I'm not shaming, actually good for her! there is no such thing as a bad reason to get an abortion!). But I still can't believe Mick cheated on a pregnant Marianne, I know he horribly cheated on everyone he had ever been with but christ Mick, have a little integrity for once in your life! But that same man also cheated on Bianca Jagger so yeah, he's an idiot.

I would also like to add this film was shot in 1968 and I can't imagine how ahead of its time this would have been but Warner Bros execs were apparently incredibly grossed out by the film, in particular the disgusting and filthy conditions of the bathtub that the 'women' (word used in what I read despite the fact Mick Jagger is in that tub as well) were all bathing in. Honestly the filth is what makes the film so much more real and interesting compared to a lot of other psychedelic films from around that time.

The soundtrack for the film was meant to be done by The Rolling Stones as a whole but due to the affair Keith was not interested in doing that and that was when Brian was going through his breakdown after his second drug bust.... so no score from them :( but it's still an amazing score but there are bits that sound, and forgive me if this makes no sense, that sound very Brian Jones-ish. There are aspects of that score that remind me of his contributions, the songs that he had a big part in composing, and even the A Degree of Murder score. I don't necessarily think they were trying to rip him off, I honestly think it helps add to the whole idea that Mick's character Turner is inspired by Brian (and having seen this film 3x I feel like I can see more and more of him in Turner with just a little hint of Keith for balance).

This is a little more silly and I have pointed it out on my blog before but you can see the kaftan Brian wears at the Rock and Roll Circus on one of the clothing racks in the film (also there are behind the scenes photos of Anita wearing it - probably because it's hers and Brian most likely stole it) Here are comparisons:

I wonder if it was revenge for the amount of clothes Anita took from Brian after their big break up... but that's not important. Now onto the film itself.

Film discussion (Spoilers obviously):

I can honestly say I needed the three watches to be able to understand this. I was completely confused the first time around (did not help I took like 3 gummy edibles and it was the second time I had done that... the sound became distorted in parts and the screen was spinning lol) but I still loved what I watched and specifically remember absolutely loving Mick's performance (still one of my favorites) but there are so many layers to this - everyone always seems to hyper focus on the drug aspect and rarely on the sexuality and gender parts of the film. Obviously drugs are a big part of the film - I believe it was one of the film's directors who stated that Performance was made to be a pro-drug film (which is hilarious). But if that was all the film was then it would have been another forgettable psychedelic film much like The Trip (1967) or Psych-Out (1968) (though I do suggest Psych-Out! I love that film) but it goes much deeper than those films do.

With the drug aspect, I like how the psychedelic, tripping scenes weren't like how the other films did it with bright colorful spinning lights all over the place but instead with a kind of ugly sequence that goes straight to the brain - because that's what drugs do, you're not going somewhere else you are entering your own mind. And Chaz, the film's protagonist played by James Fox, sees in his drugged out state Mick Jagger as the role of his boss making references to his sexuality in a sly way while making all of Chaz's associates strip naked. It's all scored to Mick Jagger's song 'Memo from Turner' (love, love, love this song by the way).

Throughout the film the idea of performing comes up a lot (duh it's the title of the film) but specifically the concept of presenting yourself in such a way that it appeases those around you. In Chaz's case it's shown in the film that his whole persona is a performance, that his toxic masculinity and heterosexuality are not really him. That he over emphasizes his attraction to women because that is what he is meant to be but his true self slips in every once in a while, the main visual I remember is his wall covered in nude photos of women but there also being a few photos of boxers that are in great shape and only wearing shorts. There is a character, Joey, that enters the film who has some kind of a past friendship with Chaz but it clearly went horribly wrong as Chaz's boss does not want him to speak to him. But Chaz disobeys and ends up pissing off Joey so he retaliates by destroying Chaz's apartment with red paint (including the word 'poof' written on the wall), beating the crap out of him, humiliating him and trying to get him to admit to his sexuality. He ultimately kills Joey instead because he would rather be a murderer than admit to who he really is.

Chaz and Turner have an interesting relationship to say the least. Chaz, on one hand, seems to be rather uncomfortable by the 'bohemian' lifestyle that Turner and his two girlfriends, Pherber (Anita Pallenberg) and Lucy (Michele Breton), live. Turner and Pherber take it upon themselves to expand Chaz's mind themselves by 1) trying to get him to dress more femininely and trying to get him to admit that it's perfectly fine to feel like you are a woman sometimes (with reference that neither Turner or Pherber fully identify as either man or woman entirely) and 2) drugging him with hallucinogenic mushrooms leading to the musical sequence featuring Turner.

The film implies throughout that Chaz and Turner have some form of an interest in one another, whether it be platonic, sexual, or romantic I think is more up to the viewer (though I would not say it's platonic...) The scene that gets to me while watching is towards the end, Chaz wakes up and find Turner in his bedroom than it cuts to the two of them in bed together and they embrace but then it cuts to reveal that it isn't actually Turner but Lucy (who Chaz thinks kind of looks more like a younger boy than a woman). He does like Lucy but there is a clear sentiment throughout that he wishes it was Turner who did come to his room. Even Turner seems kind of mad that he let Lucy go down to talk to Chaz when initially he wanted to be the one to do that.

In the end when Chaz is forced to leave because his boss finally found him, he makes one final goodbye to Turner (and Pherber) but Turner is insistent that he join him. Turner represents so much to Chaz, he represents what Chaz secretly wishes to be; completely open with his sexuality and gender and not caring if anyone is uncomfortable by it while also being clearly attracted to Turner as well. But Chaz is confused by everything going on (and he has a limited amount of time before he has to leave) and decides the only way he could be happy now is to become Turner. So he kills Turner, there is a quick shot of going through the bullet hole into his mind (similar to the tripping out scenes) and Chaz leaves. The film's ending is Chaz, now played by Mick Jagger, leaving in a car with his boss.

I must admit it took me until this third time watching to fully grasp the ending. Chaz is sick and tired of performing for everyone (i.e. being a masculine, heterosexual man) and the only way to stop that performance is to put on a new performance and become Turner (i.e. androgynous and non-heterosexual) because I don't think he can ever truly be himself. The whole film is everyone trying to get Chaz to be the real him but that's the last thing he could ever want. He'd rather place all these affectations on himself and play a role instead. It's just now this new performance is more aligned with his 'true' identity but nonetheless it's still a performance.

[forasecondtherewedwon]

Peter and MJ, coworkers who barely know each other's names, but could draw each other's faces from memory, get stuck in the elevator together at the end of a work day

Thanks for the prompt, Anon! I started writing the fic for this so fast haha

Overheard at the Bugle

Pairing: Peter Parker x Michelle Jones (Spideychelle) Rating: M Word count: 5394

Summary:

Peter's having a late night at the office and finds out he's not the only one working overtime right before he and the new reporter, Michelle Jones, get trapped in the Bugle's unreliable elevator. He just needs to handle this situation calmly and not do anything to give away his secret identity. It'd be easier to focus on the task at hand if his enhanced hearing wasn't picking up something very unusual coming from the voice recorder in Michelle's bag.

Peter tries to keep a low profile at the Bugle―he doesn’t need anyone giving a second thought to the guy who turns in crisp closeups of Spider-Man week after week―but he didn’t realize he’s invisible. He’s gotta be for the custodial staff to start shutting the lights off on his floor as he’s still sifting blearily through the emails that arrive every five minutes; they’re all stamped with Sent from J. Jonah Jameson’s iPhone. Almost in the dark, Peter snaps his laptop shut, shoves it into his messenger bag, and sprints for the elevators. He’s not scared of the dark (what kinda hero would that make him?), but after lights-out comes locking the doors and he’s not keen on spending the night here. Though his apartment might not be much, it’s his escape from work.

He skids around the corner to find the glow of an elevator that’s just closing.

“Hold it!” Peter shouts, shooting his hand out to part the doors as a frantic tapping comes from inside.

“I was pushing the button…” a woman explains as he steps in.

She turns her head and a spill of wavy brown hair is pushed aside to reveal the face of Michelle Jones. Peter swallows. His gaze goes from her startled brown eyes to her finger, now slipping off the Doors Open button.

“Yeah,” he says, adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder, “this thing can be temperamental sometimes.”

“Right. Ground floor, I assume?”

“Yep.”

He moves off to a respectful distance as she presses the button to take them down and the doors close. His heart’s hammering. Though he’s heard the confident tone of her voice plenty, she’s never specifically spoken to him. Nor he to her. Luckily, the walls of the elevator have an intentional burnish with the scuff of wear on top, so there’s no chance of her catching sight of his stare in their reflections. Peter doesn’t mean to, it’s just that she took her hair down. She mostly wears it twisted and pinned at the nape of her neck and probably just shook it out when she got into the elevator, heading home. He gets it. He has his tie jammed into his bag, collar unbuttoned, and sleeves cuffed up to his elbows. Nobody gives a shit about dress code after the boss is gone, especially if they’re working late with no guarantee of overtime pay. Quit looking at her, he thinks, and snaps his gaze down to the floor. He can still smell her shampoo, courtesy of the enhanced senses.

“Sorry about the lights,” Michelle offers, turning her head enough to address him, but not enough to meet his eye because he’s standing beside and slightly behind her. “I let one of the custodians know I was on my way out a few minutes ago. Thought I was the last one left.”

Peter frowns. That’s weird. Not what she says, but that, when she speaks, he thinks he hears an echo. My one-on-one exclusive with Spider-Man, it says, in the voice of the reporter currently sharing the elevator with him. He opens his mouth to ask Michelle if she hears it too and catches himself. That’s a habit he broke years ago, when he realized there are way more things other people can’t hear and it only risks freaking them out and exposing himself to reveal that his senses are more animal than human.

“Don’t worry about it,” he responds distractedly.

The first thing to know about Spider-Man is that he’s not a nine-to-five kinda guy. Without regular business hours, he joins me for this interview in my Brooklyn apartment on a Friday evening. The red suit is predictable; the rap he gives my living room window to announce his arrival smacks more of cheeky showmanship. This reporter has to wonder whether, for him, finally submitting to such an in-depth, sit-down conversation is a type of performance. Surely the man behind the mask knows his audience is rapt for any details on the life of a figure who, despite his status as a trusted friend to all, is so much a mystery to this city’s inhabitants.

Ok, what? Peter’s brain is spinning like a frisbee. He’s never given the kind of interview Michelle’s disembodied voice is describing, and definitely never given it to her. He’s never been to her apartment, doesn’t even know where she lives, and certainly isn’t eager to invite questions in some sort of exposé. Maybe what he’s hearing are just the notes she’s preparing for a future interview. Did Jameson assign this? He’s certainly nosy about Peter’s alter ego, but the tone of the piece is more curious than their boss’s usual style―scathing, obstinate, malicious. She sounds intrigued by Spider-Man, not like she’s luring him into a trap.

The elevator jolts. It grinds. It halts. Michelle makes a sound of distress and taps Doors Open. She looks at him over her shoulder, face worried but also… flushed? Maybe she gets anxiety attacks.

“It’s alright,” Peter tells her, one foot in Spider-Man’s De-escalation Mode. He raises his hands in hopefully a calming gesture and her eyes dart to them, gliding over his bare forearms. Crap, does he seem threatening? He lowers his hands.

“I know it’s alright,” she assures him. “I just… who wants to be stuck at work?”

Michelle gives him a slight smile to accompany her joke and he returns it.

“Got a story to work on?” Peter asks.

His motive is partly to understand the narration he heard (which is still going on, a murmur beneath their much louder voices), but also to focus her on something besides the fact that the elevator is not moving.

“Just filed one actually, so, you know, theoretically free for the weekend.” She makes a phonily excited face that emphasizes how very not-free they are.

The continued jokes are a good sign that she isn’t overly alarmed. He’s still stumped about the story though. As she pulls her cell phone from the large leather bag over her arm, Peter tunes into the background noise. With the elevator silent, that’s just the recording of Michelle’s voice.

‘…later than I thought you would be,’ I inform him. He makes his excuses and where I would normally be annoyed by a failure to be punctual, I find myself charmed by New York’s man in red. I wonder where his adventures have taken him tonight, if his actions have prevented violence, saved lives. If his mere presence has inspired onlookers and comforted those who have lost faith in our traditional systems of stagnant courts and killer cops…

There’s no way Jameson can be aware of the spin she’s putting on this. Spider-Man’s no hero in the eyes of the editor-in-chief, just a menace, a pest, a cockroach climbing up the pantleg of the people who are supposed to enforce justice. That’s not the only thing that’s confusing. Peter’s fairly hung up on the fact that she’s conducting this interview like he’s there. Could just be her process. Playing the whole thing out to get a feel for however long it might be, where small talk might hypothetically cut into her list of prepared questions.

“No service,” Michelle huffs, tucking her phone away again. “You?”

Peter, startled, gets his phone out to check, though he already knows this elevator is a dead zone. He shakes his head. Frustrated, she moves her hand to jab the Help button. The one meant to connect the rider with 911.

“Don’t bother,” he coaches when she pushes it a second time after nothing happens. “I think that thing’s just for show.”

“Oh yeah?”

She’s arch, irritated. Peter stays calm, knowing it’s not really meant for him. People can get testy in stressful situations. Being trapped in an elevator is one of those. Not for him. For him, a stressful situation is a bullet graze or leaping from one office tower to the next and realizing in midair that he’s out of webs. Trapped in an elevator is a relaxing start to his weekend in comparison.

“Jameson never lets anybody inspect it. He’s a control freak, scared of spies. He thinks somebody’s gonna bug the elevator,” he clarifies to Michelle’s raised eyebrows.

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Yeah, well, have you met him?”

She exhales a laugh at that.

…invite him to get comfortable, I’m surprised at him choosing a seat at the opposite end of the couch I’ve just sat down on. I’d intended the chair across from me and think that should be obvious to him. Perhaps it is. The mask doesn’t make him the easiest man to read.

“So we’re just fucking stuck because Jameson’s scared of, who? Reporters from other papers? The CIA? Edward Snowden?”

A tingle goes down Peter’s spine when she swears. She’s commanding. Does she know that or is working under Jameson putting her qualities in the shadow of his, wielded for domination and intimidation?

“I haven’t figured that out yet,” he says.

“This button’s never worked?” Michelle checks, leaning her knuckle into it to keep it depressed. “This is a major safety issue. Imagine there was a fire right now.”

“You should call somebody and report him.”

He can’t help being playfully sarcastic and thinks, for a second, that she’s going to bite his head off for it by the way her eyes flash. Then he thinks he might not mind. Then she laughs and he tries to take a normal breath.

“What do we do?” she wants to know.

What do they do? What do Peter and the woman he’s eyed across the office since she arrived at the Bugle two months ago do? Forced together by unhealthy work hours and a broken elevator? He shifts from one foot to the other.

“Hope the custodian decides to watch for you to leave the building and comes looking when you don’t.”

“I hate that plan,” Michelle informs him.

“Go ahead and come up with another one,” he invites earnestly.

She turns so she’s facing him and lets her back slump against the wall of the elevator. She shrugs to ease her bag off her shoulder. The strap tugs a little at her emerald-green blouse before it slides down her arm. She sets it on the ground by her feet. It looks like she’s doing what he suggested. Now it’s just Peter and her quiet voice, which he can tell is coming from the bag. Michelle must have a recorder in there. Probably thinks she shut it off, but the volume’s just really low.

‘…when you’re out there?’ I have to inquire of him. At his easy laugh, I shelter behind my coffee cup, taking a slow sip. ‘Lonely?’ Spider-Man repeats. ‘In a city this size?’ He’s being coy now. I’m certain he knows what I want and it’s the dare implicit in this exchange that prompts me to press him. ‘Not lonely for just anybody,’ I begin…

Crossing his arms, Peter rests against the back of the elevator, trying to be subtle as he tips his head to the side to hear more. He’s getting into this story now, even if it’s not real. For the first time, he’s starting to see how Spider-Man might be a pretty compelling guy. He likes this person she seems to think he is; he’s more interesting coming from her lips. Of course, not as interesting as she is, with her leading questions and the agenda she’s voicing for her recorder if not for the man she’s interviewing.

“Have you worked at the Bugle long?”

His gaze twitches over to Michelle’s face when she speaks.

“Since right outta college. Why?”

“Just wondered if this had happened to you before,” she explains, waving her hand at the elevator’s useless panel of buttons. “And I knew you were here before me.”

“You did?”

He shouldn’t sound so breathlessly hopeful. Obviously, she knew he was here first. Michelle could’ve noticed him one time in the past two months and seen him do anything to indicate that he’d been here longer―escape Jameson’s office just before he could get roared at, jiggle the plug to make the coffee machine in the breakroom work. But Peter does sound that way because of her tone. She says it like an admission and she breaks eye contact.

‘…you don’t want one?’ He declined my offer of coffee once, but I think he may change his mind now that we’ve warmed up to each other a little. Spider-Man twists and I can feel him regarding me from behind those large white eyes. ‘I’d have to take the mask off to drink it,’ he points out. I promise that I’m not trying to blow his cover, just be hospitable. Besides, I counter, he doesn’t need to expose his whole face. The mouth will do.

“So, has it?” she counters, ignoring his question.

“Has what?”

“Has it happened to you? The elevator shutting down?”

“Oh, uh, once or twice, but it was always in the middle of the day and there were a bunch of other people in the elevator with me, so it didn’t go unnoticed long. Jameson hassled me for missing meetings while I was trapped though.”

“It’s not like you could help it,” Michelle says.

“True, but…” Peter shrugs. “I learned to take the stairs.”

“Bet you’re wishing you took them tonight.”

He laughs.

“Not really. I mean, uhhh…” The sound drags out embarrassingly as he can’t manage to pull his gaze away from her surprised face.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she says, saving him. “I think you’re keeping me saner than I would be alone.”

Right. That’s all. Which is enough, really. He’s glad to be of service, especially if that service is helping her not totally lose it.

“No problem.”

‘…because I can do more good if I’m an anonymous symbol,’ Spider-Man tells me. His body language has changed, shifting forward with the urgency of his words. ‘But some people must know,’ I say. ‘Your real identity can’t be a secret from everyone.’ ‘No Spider-Man is an island?’ is his clever rejoinder. I agree with absolute sincerity. ‘Even the strongest person needs to let others get close to them,’ I insist. Where he’s tugged his mask up, his mouth shifts from a wry grin to thoughtful softness. I find my gaze lingering there.

“Any ideas?” Peter asks, feeling hot.

The temperature inside the elevator is moderate, but Michelle’s words, as she draws him deeper into her story, are making him surreptitiously flap his collar to encourage air down his shirt. He’s starting to feel like this is something he’s not supposed to hear. Alright, it’s likely that nobody was supposed to hear it if these are just her rough notes before composing an article. Whatever. What Peter’s realizing is that maybe nobody’s supposed to hear this interview ever. The questions are too personal, too human-interest for the kind of paper they work at, and the way she depicts her responses is… intimate. Full of sensory details. It’s as though he’s in this apartment with her, sipping at her coffee, staring at her down the length of the couch. A Friday night, her voice said, and tonight’s one of those. How would Michelle Jones feel if she knew she was spending an evening with Spider-Man right now?

“I think the custodians would’ve made some noise by now if they knew anybody was in here and if they haven’t realized we’re missing, then I’m not sure anyone else will. I don’t know about you, but I live alone. I probably won’t be missed tonight because my friends will just assume I’m working and turned my phone off. I’ve been considering,” she goes on, “that we’ll either have to climb out the top and hope we’re close to the doors aligning with one of the floors or get these doors open. Either way, we need something to open the doors. Personally, I didn’t pack my crowbar.”

Peter stares at her in awe for a minute. She really did come up with a plan. Several plans. He knows he can help―he doesn’t need a crowbar to part the metal doors―but he can’t just wrench the doors open with his bare hands and act like it’s no big deal. He’ll need an explanation, which can’t be the truth. Revealing himself at the Bugle? To a Bugle reporter? Seems like the worst possible scenario. He doesn’t think Michelle is anything like Jameson in her motivations or basic moral compass (fine, he doesn’t know her, but that’s the sense he gets), and yet, she works for him. It’s her job to give him something fresh, something captivating, and he’s just not sure that her fascination with Spider-Man would be enough to make her want to spare Peter Parker the nightmare of his identity being splashed across Monday’s front page.

“Me neither.”

“This isn’t sustainable,” she mutters. He looks at her with concern. Louder, she adds, “If I get restless enough to climb through the ceiling, promise you won’t look up my skirt when I ask you to give me a boost.”

“Promise.”

Michelle assesses his face and he tries to appear his most transparent and trustworthy. Gradually, her eyes move away from his, but he’s still watching her and sees her stare at his throat, then his chest, and down. Whoa, Peter tells himself. Not a good idea. This woman might be a little hung up on Spider-Man, maybe even has a crush, but you and him are two different people.

Meanwhile, on the recording: …switch it off for him, holding the voice recorder up so he can clearly see that I’ve done it. ‘There,’ I say, ‘no one’s listening now. It’s just you and I.’ ‘So I’m supposed to feel closer to you without it?’ Spider-Man asks. ‘Don’t you?’ is what I want to know.

“Screw it,” Michelle decides a minute later, standing up straight. “I’m getting us out of here. Can you pick me up?”

Peter drops his messenger bag in an instant.

“Yep.”

He watches while she kicks off her black patent high heels (maybe picturing her pressing one of those bad boys into his chest), then they both tip their heads back and examine the ceiling panels.

“Front corner, maybe?” she suggests. “Just so I’m as close as possible to where the doors will hopefully be and I don’t have to wobble around up there in the elevator shaft.”

“Sure,” Peter agrees.

They cross to the appropriate corner and he bends his knees, locking his fingers to offer her a step. She grabs his shoulder for balance and lifts her foot, about to place it in his braced hands, then pauses.

“I’m Michelle, by the way.”

“Peter.”

“I know.”

He’s baffled and flushed as they shake hands, but he can’t dwell on it because her fingers are digging into his shoulder right before she presses her foot into his swiftly repositioned hands and hops up. She gives a small shriek as her body wavers before steadying herself with her palms against the ceiling. Peter drops his gaze. He can tell by her knees that she’s crouching slightly and he’s not glancing any higher than that. Her skirt falls to just below her knees and, as they lean into each other to keep her up, he ends up with her thigh pressed against the side of his face, the black fabric of that skirt under his cheek.

“You got me, right?”

“Right,” he says, careful not to ramble and divulge how little effort bearing her weight requires.

“Ok, I’m going to try to get a grip on this panel and slide it open.”

“Sounds good.”

Peter is looking straight across at the wall. He is not looking higher than her knees. He has no thoughts about the scent of her skirt and no theories on whether the lavender comes from her fabric softener or lotion that he’s also not imagining her rubbing into her skin before she got dressed for work this morning. She sways in his grip and he braces his arms more firmly, unable to do anything about her leg against his face. Michelle grunts and her body heaves as he hears her shift the ceiling panel. Her toes curl around his fingers. He exhales in relief; if she can figure this out without him needing to call on his super-strength, awesome. She goes home with a sense of accomplishment and he goes home maintaining his secret identity.

“Ok,” she calls down. “It’s open. Lift me higher.”

“Higher,” Peter mumbles to himself. Then, to her, “Uh, I might have to, um, hold your legs. But I won’t look at anything, I swear.”

“I’ve trusted you this far.”

Her voice is wry and he chuckles.

“Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Michelle says.

With a bounce of his shoulders, he hoists her up. For a minute, he keeps hold of her foot, but then one of his hands clutches the back of her calf while the other cups her heel. Her weight pulls away from him as she hauls herself up through the ceiling.

“Is there a door?” he asks.

“It’s dark… Can you get my phone? It’s right inside my bag.”

“Ok, hang on. Literally,” Peter adds.

“Ha ha,” Michelle responds dryly, but when he gently releases his grip on her, he finds that she’s able to hold herself in place with her elbows. Her legs dangle and he hurries.

Their conversation and the rush of the action they just took concentrated his senses. Unfortunately, he’s now holding her work bag open and the sounds from her voice recorder are pouring out louder than ever. Still too quiet for her though, at this distance.

‘…didn’t think a suit that tight could hide much, but I’m still pleasantly surprised.’ ‘What, this?’ Spider-Man teases. I abandon my coffee cup and push my reading glasses up into my hair as I set my notes aside to lean in. He might as well have a web stuck to my chest. His awareness of his own physicality is evidently as precise afterhours as it is while he’s on duty because he skims a hand down his abdomen, appearing to almost accidentally hook his thumb in the band of his boxers. ‘You want the real scoop?’ he asks me, prying the elastic away from his skin provocatively. The taste of coffee is still thick and rich in my mouth when I encourage him: ‘Go on, Spidey. Don’t stop there…’

Peter almost drops the bag.

“Did you find it?”

“Yeah! Yes. Mhmm, I’ve got it.”

He returns to Michelle and wraps one arm around her legs. With his other hand, he lifts the phone towards her. Her fingers clasp his, then locate the phone and take it from his grip. He holds still while she turns on her flashlight and has a look around. So, Michelle doesn’t have a little crush on Spider-Man. She’s hot for Spider-Man. Which means she’s hot for Peter, in a way. Except not, he reminds himself, because you’re just her silent co-worker. You’re never going to―

“FUCK!”

“What? No. What? What is it?”

“The next door’s way too high,” she says. “We must be almost lined up with one.” She taps him on the head with her phone and he slips it into his pocket for safekeeping as he prepares to help her down.

“We’ll find another way.” Will you? he asks himself.

“Quick question.”

“Uh huh?”

“How do I do this?”

He’s holding most of her weight now and, pressing a hand to flatten her skirt against her leg, chances a peek up at Michelle. Her head’s still through the ceiling, arms still braced over the open panel. What would definitely work would be her just letting go and him catching her in his arms, but maybe that’s too much faith for her to put in a random guy from work. Although he’s capable of lifting her, catching her falling body is a completely different thing. As with their escape in general, they don’t have a ton of options.

“Just let go slowly,” Peter coaches. “I’ll adjust how I’m holding you and you can sort of slide down my body.” The awkwardness in his tone garbles the last part.

“I can what?”

Dammit. She’s waiting to come down. He clears his throat.

“Uh, slide down my body?”

Her anxious laugh disappears into the elevator shaft.

“What the hell have you gotten yourself into?” he hears her hiss to herself. To him, “Yeah, ok. I’m coming down now.”

“I have you.”

Peter’s counting on the giddiness of being returned to the ground from a height to distract her from the too-skillful way he maneuvers his hands on her. Making sure her skirt never gets rucked up, not placing his hands anywhere truly unforgiveable. He holds her hips, not her ass, and turns his head so his face doesn’t wind up in her crotch. He’s really gentleman-ing his butt off when the recording in her bag calls out, ‘Harder, Spider-Man!’

His hands slip. A second ago, his head was level with her stomach and now his face is buried in her chest, the cup of her bra pressing back against his temple. Immediately, Peter tilts back from his shoulders.

“Sorry, I’m so sorry―”

“I’m ok, I’m good,” Michelle protests as they wriggle together to set her down. He forces her phone back into her hand.

“Your skirt was slippery…”

“I know. You did great, Peter, seriously.”

“…and I heard…”

He shuts his mouth fast, but her flustered expression dissipates as her probing gaze finds his eyes.

“What did you hear?”

Peter pushes at his sleeves and refuses to answer. Her powers of deduction don’t rely on him at all. She whirls to her bag, crouching and dropping her phone in to extract the voice recorder instead. Holding it to her ear in investigation, Michelle probably hears the words By the time he has me on all fours, I can tell that Spider-Man’s on board with my remark on the importance of letting someone be close to him at the same volume he does standing three feet away. He’s basically plastered himself to the opposite wall. She looks about as mortified as he figures he’d feel if he made a recording of a very personal fantasy and someone listened to it. Man, should he have just told her at the beginning? There didn’t seem to be a way to handle it well.

Michelle stops the playback and puts the recorder away. The elevator is abruptly quiet without the whisper of her voice. All the while, Peter’s staring at her, seeing what she’ll do. The most probable conclusion for her to come to is that he heard a single sound, a blip, and has no clue what the recording contained. The way she stands, leaving her bag on the floor, seems to confirm this. But she doesn’t look over at him.

With a sigh, he decides to do what Spider-Man would do and put the person in need first. What Michelle Jones needs from him is a way out of this embarrassment, and this elevator. Peter walks to the doors and stamps his hands to the metal. First, a little compression to get a good grip and then… Scrunching his face with the effort, he puts his back into it, forcing the doors apart. Next, he does the same thing to the outer doors, separating them to reveal a darkened hallway. The floor’s about three feet higher than where he’s standing inside the elevator, but that’s nothing for someone to scramble through and head for the stairs.

He steps away to let her go first. She doesn’t move.

“Should we talk about that?” Michelle asks, pointing at the doors, after what has to be a full minute of her studying him.

“I… work out? A lot. I work out a lot,” Peter says with more conviction on every try.

“And about this?” She grabs her recorder and waves it at him.

“You… use that to, uh, keep track of your ideas.”

She steps up to him and, without dropping her gaze from his face, reaches out to touch his wrist. Her fingers move from tracing his skin to ringing his web-shooter. He wears them to work pretty often, but always covers them with the cuffs of his shirt. Which he rolled up. Because he thought he was alone. There’s no reason for her to know what they’re for though, right? They could be medical alert bracelets, or just jewellery. It’s not like they’re branded with ‘Spider-Man’s Web-Shooter, 1 of 2.’

“You wanna talk about these?”

Peter opts out of replying.

“I know what they are,” she says. “What they’re for. I’ve researched you, looked at a lot of video footage and photographs, many of which I think you took, which seems equal parts fucked-up and brilliant. I noticed them right after we got stuck.”

“I have… a severe peanut butter allergy,” he says unconvincingly.

“Bummer,” Michelle shoots back, unsympathetic. Yeah, it was a terrible lie, but he’s gotta at least be able to say he tried to deny her accusations.

“It is, it is a bummer,” Peter agrees, nodding. He licks his dry lips to wet them. “Sometimes, I have such a craving for a PB and J and I can’t―”

She leans in and gives him a quick kiss.

“I’m… confused,” he admits.

“I know who you are,” she begins. “You don’t have to say it out loud, on the off chance somebody really has bugged this piece of shit elevator, but your severe peanut butter allergy bracelets, in combination with how you opened those doors, are pretty good evidence when compared with my research. So, if I take my supposition as fact―”

“Peanut butter…”

“Save it. If you are who I strongly believe you to be, then you were able to hear god knows what on that recording. Which I am an idiot for forgetting to erase or record over. Meant to do it last night… ugh, anyway. The important thing is that you heard it and you didn’t bolt through those doors the second you got them open. Why.”

When Michelle’s on a roll, he learns, her questions come out as demands. He quits trying to sneakily unfold his cuffs in a way-too-last-ditch attempt at concealing the truth.

“Ladies first?” he tries.

“I’m not going to use what I know. I promise you that. You’re a good person and as far as I’m concerned, your secret’s your secret. You do a hell of a lot more for this city than Jameson does with the trash he prints, my own contributions obviously excluded. Now I’m the only one held over a barrel here, Peter. You heard what you heard. Tell me why you stayed.”

“You needed me.”

“After you got the doors open.”

Peter thinks. Not just about whether or not to speak, but if he’s ready to say what he’s about to say.

“I needed you. It’s like what you said in the story―I mean, the recording. I don’t let many people get close to me.”

“Why would you let me be one of those people? It took being stuck together before we even had our first conversation.”

“A good feeling, I guess,” he explains. “Plus, you’re kinda my dream girl and I just found out that, at least on the physical side of things, you’re really into me. Like, really into me.”

“You can shut up about that now,” Michelle says.

“Why? You didn’t. You had so much to say.”

“Hmm, maybe I like Spi- I mean, that guy better when I’m speaking for him. Fortunately for you,” she says smugly, “I’ve thought Peter Parker the photographer was cute since the day I started working here.”

“That is news to me.”

Michelle wraps her arms around his neck, smirking as she leans her body against his.

“I was getting around to telling you. Are you surprised?”

“It’s a real scoop,” Peter acknowledges as his hands feel out the lithe shape of her back through her blouse.

“Oh my god, you heard that part? That part? How could―”

He more or less molds his mouth to hers. She more or less gives him a tour of her Brooklyn apartment before they spend the night in bed together and rise to a hot cup of coffee.

more clichéd tropes and prompts

[gra-sonas]

Am I crazy in being scared that with so many new characters, many of the characters that we love will not get the focus that they should? They already have a big cast and so many of their stories are not told (for example, Alex's past in the military)...I fear that there will be many storylines and all of them will not be well developed (like s2)...I really hope I'm wrong...

Not crazy, nonnie, no. 

Let’s break down what we know (hahahahahahahaha 😒) about S3 so far:

There were some S3 interviews with CAM after the S2 finale, but since she’s no longer part of the show, and she herself said that the S3 outline changed “a lot” after her departure, anything she said in those interviews (and that wasn’t all that much to begin with), could no longer be valid information. 

Time jump? Will probably happen, but we don’t know for sure. 

Forlex? Could happen (for how long/to which extent, who the fuck knows), or maybe not??

Echo? Will definitelylikely get back together (probably in 3x02 or so, can’t keep the straights apart for too long...), we just don’t know when. 

Happier times for Malex? HAHAHA, as if Could happen. OR NOT. Who knows. NOT US!

WE ARE JON SNOW! ¯\_(°~°)_/¯

The few things we (kinda) know about S3 so far:

It’s likely the season will start with Liz (still) in LA (where she’ll meet one of the new guys, Heath), but it’s fairly certain she’ll return to Roswell early in S3

It’s likely the Pod Squad will have to deal with Mr. Jones. 

we know a few things about 4 new guest characters - 3 of them white, and at least Jordan Bernhardt (mayor’s son) and the new Sheriff, Brooke Taylor (WHAT ABOUT MICHELLE VALENTI?????) seem kinda shady. Edgar/Eduardo sounds like he could be a link to Deep Sky or maybe the Alighting?

going by Dylan’s extended stay in Santa Fe, it seems like Wyatt Long could have a larger arc this season

we know that Christian(Forrest) filmed at least one episode (could be more but we don’t know for certain)

Tanner(Gregory) is currently/was recently in Santa Fe to film a second episode. 

It doesn’t look like Justina (Steph)’s been in Santa Fe yet, since they’re already filming 3x04 or 3x05 (we don’t even know that for sure), it’s possible she won’t return for S3 at all.

We don’t know whether Riley(Jenna)'s been in Santa Fe yet (production of Hightown S2 recently started, maybe she’s already been in Santa Fe and filmed some scenes, but we have no confirmation about that, it’s just as likely that she hasn’t been there yet)

Jamie Clayton(Charlie)’s currently filming something else. 

Kiowa(Flint)’s also not been confirmed to have filmed any S3 scenes yet (doesn’t mean he hasn’t, the entire cast is notoriously bad at keeping us in the loop about stuff like that 😩)

So that’s what we “know”. In addition:

It could be, that Tyler(Alex) won’t be in 3x01 and/or 3x02 (it’s super hard to tell bc those eps were directed by the same director, maybe they just shifted things around and cleared his schedule for an extended period so he could go home???). 

The actor who played young Max in S2 is listed for S3, that probably means Max flashbacks

They’ve released 3 episode (incl. 2 directors) titles so far + we know Dr. Rachel Raimist will direct 3x05

Other than that we have this vague af S3 synopsis that doesn’t tell us anything substantial about S3:

In season three, still reeling from the events of last year, the Roswell aliens and their allies are drawn back together through a threat from a familiar stranger and a murder that has not yet happened.

From near and from far, amidst breakups, reunions, scientific advancements and the impending death of someone they hold dear, our heroes must grapple with two central questions: Who enters our lives and defines who we are?

And what power do we really have over our own futures?

In conclusion:

We actually don’t know ANYTHING about Liz, Alex, Michael, Rosa, Isobel, Kyle, Maria or Max and their S3 arcs!

And I think that’s the main problem here. We know more about four guest characters, their motivations and what they’ll be up to in S3, than we know about the core 8. 

And that’s probably what makes so many people anxious. We have no idea how these guest characters fit into S3 because we don’t know anything about S3. 

There’s only guessing and assuming and speculating.

Oh, there’s also S2, where so much (too much) focus was put on a million different storylines and side characters, where a main plot was missing for most of the season, where core 8 characters were sidelined and/or had little to no character development, where seemingly important scenes were cut, and so on. And the way S2 ended, doesn’t exactly spark joy and excitement for S3...

It’s no surprise that we’re fucking anxious and worried S3′s gonna serve more of the same.

With new characters (that are not even new characters we’d probably be interested in meeting, like Clay and Mindy Manes, Jim Valenti (yay, flashbacks) or perhaps Maria’s dad) being announced, and no S3 info for reference, how are we supposed to be excited? How are we supposed to not worry S3 will be a repeat of S2.

I don’t think that’s going to be the case (esp. not with Chris having taken over as show runner, I still believe that with him helming the show things will be better), but I get why so many people are worried (to the point of being utterly annoyed and ready to quit the fandom). 

One way to fix at least some of this mess (and ease some of the anxiety) would be an interview with Chris Hollier, or at least an article that provides us with UPDATED information about S3, especially details about the core 8.

Because that’s what most of us want to know. What's in store for the characters we love and care about? What about the ships (Malex and Echo in particular)? WHAT ABOUT THE FRIENDSHIPS??? What about the individual characters and their specific journeys? 

As long as we don’t know more about S3 at large, and the main characters in particular, any new characters that will be announced, will cause people to worry and/or get annoyed. 

[michellesbohh]

Michelle Jones is soFT, okay?

Hello fine citizens. 

I’m over here like “work on your WIPs” and my brain says, “You mean start a completely unrelated oneshot?”and I say “Well no, but I do like where this is going so let’s finish this now instead.” 

My brain? “Abandon all structure and write a head canon? Got it.”

I don’t know why this is my take, but I just feel like MJ is (at least at first) fully annoyed with herself and how much she loves Peter Parker’s stupid dumb face. 

Not that she tries to hide it (she doesn’t) but it’s like a slight sense of resigned submission. 

Peter is as sweet and accommodating as he ever was and sometimes when he just looks at her (how dare) she just...can’t

With his dumb boy eyes practically sparkling at her across the lab in chemistry, MJ is finished.

And it’s worse because Peter knows about this now.

In the beginning he’d thought dating MJ would be just like being friends with MJ but 

Oh boy

He was so wrong. 

Being friends with MJ made his heart feel like it was trying to jump out of his chest just to get to her

So she would see him for real and maybe let him in?

But he could never tell exactly what she was feeling and really he still can’t. 

He would never claim to know everything about someone like MJ

Now that they’re dating though, Peter sees the little tells that only a boyfriend could. 

He knows what face she makes when he’s done something impossibly good and she struck by it. 

He’s intimately familiar with what Michelle looks like when she wants to kiss him but can’t 

MJ for her part has given up trying to pretend that she’s not completely on her ass for this boy all the time but that doesn’t mean she’s going to take this lying down!

Well...actually...

Whatever.

Coming to the realization that she was attracted to Peter Parker was indeed a shock

She reeled over it for several days initially at just the idea of being someone that got to kiss him and that he wanted to kiss back like WHAT

Once they actually crossed that line, MJ began to notice just how attracted to Peter she really was. And not even only in that way. She just wants to be close to him like...often. 

And okay, she’s seen his abs so it’s definitely 100% also in that way but we’re being soft rn

And she kind of hates it even if she doesn’t do anything to deny it. 

She’ll be standing at her locker and Peter will sometimes meet her there in the morning before homeroom

On some days his hands will slide around her hips and she’ll debate whether the risk of getting a detention is enough of a deterrent if it means she can also maybe just make out with Peter Parker right now now now.

She’s gotten 3 detentions so far. 

But sometimes he’ll just pop up next to her grinning and holding out a cup of tea that he picked up for her and she can actually feel her heart squeezing

She gets that familiar strained look on her face and graciously, Peter is not smug

But he’s not not smug, you know? 

They’ll make small talk about little things and big things until she’s done packing her books

Once she’s ready Peter hands her the tea, stepping just a little further into her personal space to kiss her cheek quickly and tell her he’ll see her at lunch

It’s the hand he presses at the small of her back as he leaves her that does her in

The touch is fleeting and gentle and it’s honestly completely innocent in motivation on Peter’s part but she thinks that might be why it gets to her

As soon as he’s gone, she fits a glare on anyone in the hall who’d been watching and dared to let her catch them.

One time, Flash even looked her in the eyes after. Her reputation simply will not survive this.

Peter sits next to her at lunch and holds her hand under the table too

She fights the urge to lay her head against his and snuggle against him like they do on movie nights because fuck she is so soft for him but she has some dignity

MJ does not feel bad however when she finds him outside the cafeteria though and drags him off to the library for the free period they share

They hole up in one of the study rooms and it’s #over when Peter hands her a pink highlighter as she’s fruitlessly looking through her own bag for one

(”I always pack an extra because you always forget yours”)

Fuck him, honestly.

She pulls Peter up by the hand and leads them away from the window in the door for some semblance of privacy

Peter looks like all his christmases have come at once when she leans up against him, trapping him to the wall.

“I-” she huffs unable to find the words to describe the warm fluffy feeling inside her. She figures pressing him into a slow kiss gets the point across pretty well

She pulls away when his hands start to grip at her hips.

MJ nuzzles into his neck, kissing there absentmindedly. Soft little pecks distract her as she allows the feeling of being in his arms to settle her. 

“God, I fucking hate you,” she groans in a whisper as Peter pulls her even closer dropping kisses to her hairline, her forehead, and against her brow

If anyone had overheard, the poorly suppressed grin on Peter’s face would be confusing, but he gets it. 

He gets her and how getting close to people and needing people and being okay with wanting to be treated delicately. To want be cared for. To allow herself to be cared for is hard for MJ

 But she wants it from him. Wants to be that for him. 

And Peter thinks that means he’s luckiest. 

As she pulls back to catch his eye, still shy in the big heavy feelings part of being with Peter, she basks in the smile Peter’s giving her.

His hands come up to tangle into her curls, eyes never wavering and she decides that she might be okay with being an actual ball of floof. 

For Peter, anyways. 

Only for Peter.  

She tells him as much and he laughs and kisses her again, “That’s okay you can totally be just be my floof.”

And when they’re making out on the Parker couch later than afternoon, MJ pretends not to notice that he’s changed her contact in his phone to “Michelle ‘MF’ Jones” with 2 cloud emojis.

He’s so corny, and she kisses him a little longer, a little needier than before after she sees it but doesn’t comment. 

She thinks he knows why anyways.

He definitely does. 

[dise7se]

gone, gone (thank you)

by @spideysforce (8.1k) for @tonystarkdadmode ( @irondad-fic-exchange )

Characters: Peter Parker, May Parker, Michelle Jones, Ned Leeds, Flash Thompson, Betty Brant, Quentin Beck, Tony Stark, Matt Murdock, Franklin "Foggy" Nelson, Karen Page

Relationships: May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Quentin Beck & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Summary: 

Peter has paranoia looming behind him, always watching him, never lingering too close but never leaving him alone. In each dark corner of any alleyway he’s in, paranoia follows him. The green gases and mists seeping out of his city’s storm drains, twirling mystically around his feet, those are all Mysterio. His anxiety-addled brain has convinced him each warp of sulfur dioxide twirling through the air, green subway lights illuminating each particle is Quentin Beck, taunting him in his home."I've got a show waiting for you in Manhattan."

— prompts: presumed dead, hypothermia, and hurt/comfort

read on ao3 (leave comments and kudos)

“There is no way Parker is Spider-Man!” Flash said, voice distant down the hall of the snow-lodge cabin, game pieces clacking against the board.

“And why can’t he be?” Betty asks, voice muffled over a piece of licorice.

“We’ve already been over this,” Ned sighs, the room quieting except for the crackle of the fireplace in front of them where they gathered on the living room floor surrounding the coffee table.

“Bullshit.”

“The dickwad is right here, you know,” MJ says, setting her mouth straight to hide her laugh. She fails. “Ned, let’s hear him out. Can Flash really connect Peter Parker to Spider-Man? JJJ couldn’t.”

They can, not that the Daily Bugle should have aired out his business for all of his home city to prey on, for Mysterio to get into his head, and target every last of his loved ones. It had only been a few months since the older man had faked his death on television, had the Daily Bugle ruin his reputation more than they’ve already tried, and Tony Stark worked tirelessly with Pepper Potts to backtrack on this PR nightmare that carefully painted a brushstroke target on each of his loved ones.

Peter has paranoia looming behind him, always watching him, never lingering too close but never leaving him alone. In each dark corner of any alleyway he’s in, paranoia follows him. The green gases and mists seeping out of his city’s storm drains, twirling mystically around his feet, those are all Mysterio. His anxiety-addled brain has convinced him each warp of sulfur dioxide twirling through the air, green subway lights illuminating each particle is Quentin Beck, taunting him in his home.

These last few months, his previous mentor has been out of commission, along with other Avengers. He can’t complain, though, he has a feeling he’s making new allies in his home-burough while being a vigilante. Possibly a new mentor, but that’s him projecting. There is no Mysterio if he buries himself in school and work, if he’s exerting himself.

He walks over and joins the rest of them in the living room of the cabin from the hallway where he set down his suitcase and organized it before aunt May came back.

“You hear back from MIT?” MJ asks, scooting closer to him once he sits down on the floor beside her and the coffee table.

“Not yet,” he says, all the attention shifting to him. “I think we’ll all hear back by next week.”

“Well, we may have applied, but it doesn’t mean all of us will get in..” Flash announces, earning an elbow to the ribs by an exasperated Betty.

This is their new dynamic now, really, maybe it was their subconscious way of coping with their previous summer vacation, they began gravitating towards each other.

Peter watched the confusion flicker across Flash’s face, mumbling an apology and a sarcastic, “it’s true..”

He’s been doing that more often, and even though he’s made it clear that he hates it when Peter looks at him with that, ‘psychoanalytical’ face, he’s trying to figure him out. Flash is an electrical current, a neon light buzzing, flickering and it seems like there’s a fuse ready to burst into flecks at any time. He doesn’t mind when Flash is annoyed with him, he knows sophomore and junior year bailing on Academic Decathlon was his fault, but there’s a weight off his shoulders since his identity was revealed to the entire world, he’s in a legal case with a local Queens lawyer to soften the blow currently, and he can handle these little outbursts.

If Flash goes around the school revealing his identity, well, he doesn’t have much leverage.

He puts everything he has into tormenting Peter, but that’s how he is. That’s how their classmates see him, he likes being the center of attention.

The second time he noticed it happen, it was after their Europe trip. He was hugging May, holding her close, Betty, Ned and MJ scattered, and he caught sight of Flash. May turned their 1940s Revolvo on and they sat with the cold air blowing on their faces, May’s face flickering between him and Flash and his butler.

He never dared to bring it up. Ned and MJ never allowed him to, no matter how subtly he planned to. It wasn’t fair of his family, it wasn’t fair for him to go through alone. He never fooled Petter with his facade, but the sinking feeling in his stomach felt worse. He couldn’t ignore it any longer, no matter how many obligations he has to worry about.

Ben taught him when any situation arises for him to be the bigger person, he needs to be the bigger person and assume responsibility. He knew he needed to help find Flash a safe space if he couldn’t by himself. Or, fuck, even just support him whenever he needed to.

In his own fucked up way, Flash had his back as well.

He shoved a skateboard into his arms one afternoon after leaving a Decathlon meeting, murmuring he needed a skating partner today. To not take it personally, they wouldn’t hold hands or anything, but to make fun of someone else if they fall off the board or eat shit.

He had a feeling, and he thinks he’s right. That morning, Peter came in late, nearly dragged in by May because of a late night run-in with Silver Stable. With the scrapes and bruises from being dragged through Manhattan, he might as well have been dragged by a skateboard and not his web shooters.

So, they skateboarded.

And he did eat shit.

Ned, MJ, and Flash scold Betty for accidentally shoving the Monopoly board too far to the left, Ned yelling at Flash to stop cheating and taking his money. May comes in at the perfect time, yelling over the teenagers that she bought everyone’s sandwiches from the sub shop.

“May, you bring my camera in?” Peter asks through a full mouth of lettuce, bread, tomato, cheddar, and deli-meats, earning a light playful smack upside the head.

He doesn’t miss Flash’s furrowing brows, his body immediately freezing from across the kitchen island. She mutters, “Yes, Peter, next time I’ll make you walk a quarter mile in the snow for it.”

He snorts, earning a small, ‘smeck,’ on the forehead and watches May pass out the rest of his friends’ food and chips and drinks. He forgot what this was like, back in Europe with Ned when they felt independent on their own and like they could take on the world from a small, cramped space with all their friends.

“Hey, Peter, did you get an email back from that lawyer?” Ned asks, chewing loudly from his chips and turning back to him. His other half, the other part of his brain, oh, where would he be without Ned? “Remember, you said you’d get one.”

“Mm!” Peter exclaims with a full mouth, taking his phone out from his jean pocket. He doesn’t give the group any details, ever, just the public information the brand new firm allows to go to the press. They’ve strategic in their methods, and May was the most doubtful at first, but the two lawyers and impressive secretary were not as amateur as their clientele suggested.

He turns his phone screen to let May watch his email app load, slurping loudly on his drink while May sighs. “You know, I won’t miss that when you go off to school next year. I think you do it on purpose.”

“Hm, a schemer never tells.”

An email with the subject Please read by tonight, 12/11 which makes his stomach lurch. May hesitates, grabbing onto his hand holding the phone and her hand shakes slightly before she presses on the lock button. This could mean anything. His paranoia, the slight buzz constantly whirring behind him at all times from his senses could be triggered by anything and everything, could be confirmed by this email.

May squeezes his shoulder, ready to talk to the rest of the group once she notices his jaw lock-up in anxiety. “We did get an email. Come on, after you guys eat, we’ll do ice skating as promised.”

MJ continues with their conversation about MIT earlier, which leads to an argument over whether or not there truly is a class on street fighting mechanics, or do they call it that to glorify physics.

He knew forgetting about the email until he could be alone to read it with me would not help him at all. He excuses himself, picking his phone up and ignores the worrying glances from his friends.

Before he can think to text Tony, his caller ID flashes across the screen. “Hello?”

“ Hey, Peter ,” he begins, “I only have a few minutes to talk, Morgan’s taking a bath and is currently making bubble potions that may or may not be spilling over the bathtub. Wanted to check in on you..”

“Don’t let Morgan flood the bathroom again, Tony,” he says lightheartedly, knowing why he’s calling. “Listen, were you cc’ed into the lawyer’s email? I haven’t read it yet and—”

“Whoa, slow down kid,” he says, and Peter walks up the wooden stairs of the lodge, watching the living room between the wooden panels. He really needs to give Tony shit for inviting them to a cabin the size of his apartment complex floor. “ That actually is why I’m calling. They said Nelson has reason to believe Mr. Beck may be conspiring inside of the prison, but he can’t know for sure. This is not a reason to become anxious, okay?”

“What do you mean he’s conspiring?! ” Peter yelps, yanking the nearest door open in the long hallway and closing himself in with an unnecessary slam. “What reason does this lawyer have?”

He thinks his friends can hear him from downstairs, he knows May can.

“ Calm down ,” he chastises over the phone, his voice rough and quiet. Peter curses himself for making the man drop his own familial responsibilities for him, but his guilt complex the size of Manhattan won’t let him go through this by himself. Like he needs to. “ Don’t get worked up. I wanted to call and let you know I have someone looking into this even further, along with Murdock and Nelson. It’s probably just a threat out of boredom, probably got a smack on the wrist for staying out past curfew and he wants to take it out on everyone. ”

Peter sighs, sinking down onto the ceramic tile floor of the bathroom. It’s large, has fluffy white towels on a rack to his left, a large walk-in shower, and is bare of bath-mats but signs point to supplies under the sink. This is good, he thinks, he can ground himself.

The tile is cool on his hand, it’s freezing him through his jeans, one of the laces on his snow boots came undone, and he can hear Morgan screeching in the background over her magical bath potions that she’s going to make a mermaid out of.

“ You still with me? ” Tony’s voice comes through the other end of the phone, and he swears he can hear more crackling than usual. It might just be the snow drifting outside messing with the nearby towers and powerlines.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m right here.” His voice comes out even smaller than intended.

“Can I call you back? I need to call May now, and— Morgan, you can’t use scissors on the bubbles! ”

A sense of familiarity washes over Peter, and he succumbs to the feeling of safeness associated with Tony and Morgan. He’d been too close to death already. He was dead. And after navigating life without Tony for a while, he piled each responsibility like building blocks, a delicate glass structure he could shatter at any given moment, and Mysterio took a hammer to the glass. Thanos buried his glass structure, leaving part of him under with it.

“Yeah, Tony. Talk to you later. Miss you, too.”

The rest of the night goes on, and May prepares them all hot chocolate before she heads off upstairs to take a hot shower. The uneasiness never settled inside of him, a nemesis unwilling to leave him alone.

His heart thrums wildly in his chest, his hands shake and feel numb, and he wonders why .

Is it his body’s reaction to having to spend a few nights away from the city during their holiday trip, unable to patrol? Is it lingering stress from senior year, that he and May haven’t properly celebrated all of Hanukkah yet?

He must be incapable of relaxing, turning back to the couch where he’s curled up with 4 of his friends watching Home Alone 2.

“Hey, is anyone else’s toes feeling numb?” he turns to the group, watching them blearily blink at the TV from exhaustion.

“Your toes are numb ?” Flash asks from beside him on the floor, leaning against the couch with his head tilted to the side. He has no idea how that could be comfortable at all.

“Yeah, numb.”

He needed to keep talking to someone, hearing his friends talk, too. It might just be anxiety, or his PTSD symptoms bothering him. After Europe, the school forced everyone on the trip to attend at least one counseling session, and Murdock and Nelson had suggested the same when they took on the case early-autumn.

He wanted to take the advice, especially since it meant so much to May.

The cabin’s living room TV is quietly playing a documentary about the dangers of climate change and the remarkable effects the current generation will face when Peter’s jolted awake, his heart thudding in his chest and his alertness draws him from his sleep. He must’ve fallen asleep when he was in between MJ and Betty a couple of hours ago, he’s covered in a blanket and feels a pillow that wasn’t there before, supporting his neck- May’s doing- and it’s now when he realizes MJ isn’t beside him anymore, there’s too big of a gap on the couch.

He stills, not wanting to call out her name if she’s just using the bathroom or went back to her guestroom. Peter reaches his head over to check the time on the TV clock, and it’s nearing 2:30AM. The anxious feeling of danger looming in the distance, of now being watched returns and he needs to run some sort of perimeter check, maybe they have security--

“Peter!” he hears a distant shout from outside, a girl’s shout— and he immediately blanches. MJ .

His heart rate picks up, and he kicks the blanket off of him and stands. The snow is falling heavily outside, still, never seeming to let up and blocks out the nearby street lamps and backyard lamps. “MJ?!”

He turns to check if his whispering disturbed the others yet, but he decides he’ll go investigate first. He’s Spider-Man, he can head outside to check for her.

He turns to grab his oversized winter coat and his snow boots when he notices the backyard sliding door’s open— where he must’ve heard the scream from.

“Guys!” Peter shouts into the quiet living room, interrupting the warm peace from the TV playing and whatever phase of their sleep cycle there in. “Wake up! I think MJ”s outside!”

Peter runs out into the cold, a gust of wind hitting him immediately and causes his whole body to shiver while he shrugs his coat on for 25 centimeters of snow. It reaches his mid-calves and it seeps into his pants, each frozen entity stinging him and dragging him down into the ground while he runs— he doesn’t know where he’s running to, but his throat goes raw from screaming for MJ.

Frustrated none of his friends woke up in the wake of his own panic, his senses are screaming at him, danger, danger, danger , he’s too cold, his heart feels frozen. The low hum of his senses dial all the way to his limit. He screams and falls into a pile of snow on the ground, hiding himself from the danger that doesn’t seem to be there. Yet.

“MJ, where are you?” he screams, his mouth betraying him with the sound of wrecked sobs, desperacy ready to escape him, his eyes are wide and terrified. He gets back up, swaying on his own feet and he’s inhaling too many snowflakes, they’re everywhere.

He needs to find MJ, right now. She could be out here completely alone, but his senses won’t tell him where --

Before he can reach her piercing scream, the lamp post next to him flickers on, illuminated in green. His heart stops, and he feels the bile rising up inside of him.

No, no, no, no— not him, he’s supposed to be dead- wait, no, he’s supposed to be in prison—

Peter watches in pure anguish as the snow picks up, dangerous icicles falling from the lamp post and sky pierce his skin and he steps forward behind the shadows of the moonlight and snow, towering over him in his old suit he thought was destroyed. Was evidence, locked away to never be touched again.

Except it flickers away, into a cloud of smoke.

Maybe he’s hallucinating because he’s sick? He’s tired?

He has only gotten eight hours of sleep in the last three days, but what drove him so mad he came out here to the snow , the blizzard that seems to never let up-- the one that Mr. Stark mentioned-- is sending a small snowstorm to the boroughs of New York. Must be due to Global Warming.

The hum of a drone is loud, careening and he ducks his head before it strikes him, it nearly catches him and his breath won’t come out past the burning and aching in his throat.

Honestly, Peter assumed he’d be dead by now, no one telling him a word to protect him. Or, would it protect him even further to tell the truth that he is hidden away, rotting in a cell, truly plotting against him like Foggy Nelson said not to worry too much about.

“If you wanna save your city, you’re gonna need to come with me,” the familiar voice announces into the middle of the night, pushing him past his threshold of sanity and sends a wracking shiver down his spine and arms.

“I’m not really here, no, where would the fun in that be?” he replies smugly, probably watching from around the corner while Peter frantically runs back to the snow cabin to secure his family. “I need you to find me.”

He can only think about MJ, if this is an illusion she must be safe. What if he’s truly lying, crawling out of a grave somewhere in Manhattan where he was buried. Forgotten about. Rotting. For the last few months, he’s been here. Around every corner, lingering, falling behind every alleyway light to stay hidden. Quentin Beck has been the one watching him, it probably isn’t paranoid tendencies.

“Peter Benjamin Parker, get back inside NOW!” May shouts from behind him, his neck twisting to catch sight of her. His hands shake while he fishes somewhere in his pockets for his phone, hoping it didn’t get buried in the snow where he fell.

He feels heavy, like there’s two tons weighing over him and pulling him down into the ground even further, the slush eating away at his boots.

“May! Get away!” Peter shouts, his voice too raspy to be understood. “Find MJ inside!”

“Aw, Peter. Don’t worry about them, they’ll be safe right here, in the warm cabin under their warm blankets. Let’s hope the fireplace doesn’t catch anything around it, though,” Beck chuckles. “I think that’d be even enough for you getting me killed.”

“Killed? ” he exasperatedly asks, navigating his way back to the cabin and freezing in the dark. “You’re still alive. All of those people you killed in Europe are not .”

“Oh, don’t be so melodramatic,” Beck says sharply, appearing right behind him. He can see him better this time, his hair is slightly grown out but gelled to the side. He’s wearing a black coat over this old shitty suit, completely concealed by his jacket. He clings to his helmet at his right side, Peter watches the inside fill up with snow.

Every miniscule detail, he can’t believe it. He can’t be here in front of him.

“I’ve been waiting a long time for this. You know, I couldn’t wait any longer. You don’t deserve the title of Spider-Man, your big family. It was a big mistake letting them continue to believe Peter Parker is Spider-Man.”

“Because I will protect them. You can’t underestimate me, I got away from you last time. And now?” Peter steps towards Beck, going farther away from the snow cabin. “You can take me. Don’t you dare touch them.”

“Oh, I won’t,” Beck’s voice is layered in eagerness, like a child. “I’ll show you what I want and what I’m doing.

“And if you don’t? Millions  are going to pay for what you did. You know, that Jester King, Tony Stark, he really played me when he played dead for months. He did. He takes my holographic system, I take it back from him through you. You try to get me murdered, now I take away what you love most.

“What I want?” he says, finger tapping on his chin in amusement. “That’s bringing you down along with everyone you love. Excuse me, I mean, after I bring down everyone you love.”

Beck signals a drone over to him, smiling pointedly and gleefully as he waves a projection over, projecting New York City in a small screen in between them. There’s barely any snow covering the city like the forecasts predicted, and he swallows hard for what’s about to happen.

If he was capable of all the infrastructure damage to Europe, each disaster caused by G-ddamn drones, he’s capable of bringing down a few boroughs in New York City.

He stares at Beck, refusing to look down at the projection in front of him. At this point, his clothes clings to him and if he isn’t hypothermic, he thinks he will be soon. This isn’t part of his illusion tech, no. This time it’s real.

“Come on, Pete!” Beck yells cheerfully, nudging his shoulder roughly to turn back to the drone. “Where’s the fun in it if you don’t get to see what’s gonna happen, huh?”

He calculates his options, watching from his peripheral the snow attack the city. Shouts are emitted from the drone. “At least it’s not like Europe! I have no problem using more of my illusion tech here, but I’ve got a show waiting for you in Manhattan.”

Peter stares hard at the screen, anger and malice replacing every other feeling he’s felt up to now. He thinks back to his illusions and what he knows , he’s been sitting on top of every secret about him, hoarding them, using them to manipulate them before and knowing his secrets work against him.

“Here, I’ll take you there through one of my drones. So you’ll know what it’ll feel like to be on 85th when I destroy it.”

Peter’s hidden in plain view under a fire escape, it’s 2AM in the city, but he can hear all the people that are outside. Dogs being walked late at night, late-night epiphanies happening on fire escapes in the light snow, taxi-drivers in the middle of their shifts, the nearby hospital emergency room full of trauma cases from car accidents from the slippery snow. It’s the quietest he’s heard in New York, and he’s looking around and making sure nobody’s lurking around any corners. He needs to give Beck what he wants, and get out of here to get to the real New York.

“Beck, NO!” he hears Ned scream from above him, and he runs from under the coverage of the fire escape and into the middle of the grimey alleyway to see Ned tethering on the edge of the 30 meter building. “You can’t do this, it’s not fair!”

Beck appears behind Ned, and he panics in search of his web shooter attachments and comes up short. He’s still in his soaked clothes from the snow cabin. “Peter! You’ve gotta help m—”

Peter screams Ned’s name, crawling up the building as far as he can before he can leap out to catch Ned. He misses, and Ned collapses to the ground.

An illusion, this isn’t real, none of this is real. It’s not real. Not real.

He gasps and tumbles onto the ground, landing back at the snow cabin.

“Let’s play another one, you haven’t seen the best part!”

He’s standing on a highrise building, in his Spider-Man suit, and he knows it’s still an illusion. The snow is falling even heavier than it did at the snow cabin, but it’s covering pedestrians walking around late at night or very early in the morning. Random people still out eating, teenagers skipping curfew, people leaving their office jobs far too late deemed acceptable

The snow covers the cars , and he can hear emergency coverage playing on radios and TV’s while the city falls into a panic over Beck’s illusions. The snow is it’s true amount, but he’s redirecting it everywhere through the stupid drones. He’s playing an illusion on his city.

He hears a child scream out for Spider-Man’s help, his daddy’s stuck under a car and he won’t stop bleeding. He’s trapped on this high-rise beam, paralyzed by something. Why can’t he just leap down, shoot his webs, he can see all the coverage he has to get to. Now.

He gasps when he feels two hands on his back, shoving him forward in anger. He sees Flash, balancing with him on this yellow beam full of venom as he says, “This is all your fucking fault!’

He listens, watching with his jaw dropped because he’s too stupid to do anything else. He doesn’t have anywhere to run, he brings his hands to his ears and shuts his eyes tight, he’s guessing what Beck’s putting illusion-Flash up to. This seems too simple, but he doesn’t want to play his chances. He wishes his city could see him right now, he’s their beacon, they aren’t collectively helpless.

“I’m done, Beck!” Peter shouts over the whistling wind and heavy snow. “I’m not running. You don’t have to do this.”

Darkness falls around him, it covers him and the snow, and Beck’s gone. His body’s equilibrium is off from being out in this avalanche, the snow now nearly up to his waist is pure agonizing wetness. There’s no more Manhattan skylines, or a cityscape at all, no more traumatized Flash, only the cabin with the porch light on.

Peter turns on his heels, running through the thick snow, holding onto himself, and starts racing in the snow. He keeps his eyes wide open despite the snow seeping into his eyes, he’s gone, the paranoia died down, the feeling of being watched simmered away like a light burning out. His legs feel like two tons of steel are weighing them down, and launches himself inside the door to find May, Ned, Flash, and to see if MJ is here.

He can almost sense where things are, he scoops a pile of snow off of his face and litters it to the ground, shrugging his jacket off which might be his worst decision of the night, his eyes feel blindfolded by the sleet.

“May!” Peter yells, holding back a sob sitting in the back of his throat, his voice quivering. “P-please. Please tell me you’re okay.”

He picks his lead feet up, waiting for an answer. He can sense bodies nearby, so they're here in the perimeter, but his senses have gone haywire after his encounter with the drone and Beck. Whatever frequency and illusions he uses, he feels less keyed now and less like he’s going to wake up from this nightmare.

He feels real.

“Baby?” he hears May whisper at the top of the stairs, now noticing the upstairs light flickered on and illuminating the living room and the stairs. He’s sisyphus climbing the stairs, his own body betraying him, and this is his punishment. Too weak to move right now, too weak to go hug May. To go tell his friends everything’s gonna be okay.

“It- it was him, May. I saw him,” Peter whispers, elation and adrenaline still coursing through his body. “He’s alive, I mean you already knew that but-- May, he was here. I have to go.”

“Peter,” May says carefully, lifting her arm that was protectively holding Ned back. He’s crying in a steady stream watching them at the top of the stairs from the bottom, he’s his own impossible boulder. He can’t reach them. He can’t get to the top.

She’s careful in her tone. “Why did you go outside? What did you see?”

“May, you have to believe me. I need to go to Manhattan— I have to send Mr. Stark a message and you-- you guys need protection,” he rambles breathlessly, half of his words ununciated, “I can’t let you guys die.”

“Okay, Peter,” May confirms, and he’s never seen her look so sad. She’s covered in moonlight, she’s backlit by the upstairs light, but he can’t see her eyes clearly like he usually can. And, oh fuck, he thought this was real— “Name five things you can see right now. Just five.”

“I— May, no, I need your car keys. I need my suit,” he says, watching his friends faces fall and hears their heartbeats pick up. “And MJ, she’s okay? She was screaming, and--”

May sighs, resigning, and takes a few steps down the stairs to meet his eyes. “Baby, are you having an episode?”

“May, no!—“

“I can help. We can all help. Nobody’s judging you, I know you didn’t find the best coping mechanisms, but—“

“Call Tony. Please. For me.”

“Okay,” May says, running a hand through his soaked curls and he feels her shaking movements, and he gently catches her hand.

“I’m so sorry, I brought this here.” He glances up at his friends, watching their own storms on their own faces, the aching, the fear caused by him. Ned’s quietly crying now, keeping his face as stoic as he can.

“Go, Peter. I’ll set security up around the perimeter,” Ned whispers bravely, swallowing back tears. “Just.. Can you tell us what you saw outside?”

Peter’s mind instantly flashes back to Ned’s body on the pavement in the illusion, and swallows the bile back down but allows more tears to fall. “I— He made an illusion about MJ. About all of you. Everyone was inside except for her. He’s in New York. Just like Foggy said.”

He turns outside to face outside, and it’s nearly morning now. The sun hides far on the low horizon, not daring to rise yet but is still covered by snowfall.

May finally relented, grabbing her cellphone to get in touch with Mr. Stark and Nelson and Murdock. It was Claire who answered first, insisting she talk to Peter. Her worries over the phone brought a wave of nausea over him, she described New York right now. There’s hail and snow slides and blizzards which should be impossible in their terrain. Peter tore his clothes off and put his suit on, feeling idiotic for wearing a jacket over his spider suit. Ned sets up his own perimeter check, signaling and coding spider-drones to confirm the validity of Beck’s own drones and keep an eye out for unwanted visitors.

He web swings 100,000 meters back to the city, internally thanking May for convincing Mr. Stark to only send them into upstate New York, not too far out into the mountains and terrain.

For once, the Parker Luck might be working on his side once he thwips off of the Statue of Liberty and soars through air with his webs and wings, back out towards the nearest island’s edge. He promises himself to come out here more often, especially in the snow. Whatever New York borough Beck is in, he isn’t nearby Ellis island, and his senses continue to buzz.

New York’s loveable grizzled seen-too-much detective is back in his home city, and he web-swings across vast swaths of water into his city through the heavy snow.

Beck lied to him. He had trusted him. He destroyed his image, causing him to flee from his real life for months . He told him he was a disappointment, and his goodness was a weakness. He watches teenagers play in Washington Square Park, tourists crawling to the nearest safe spots, and ice skaters somehow skating this late at night/early in the morning.

He swings off of the nearest building, listening out for an intel on Beck and he races through Manhattan. It’s an obstacle course for Beck, but not for Peter.

He hears a nearby construction site and a low groaning, something not good. If he reaches these construction sites with free equipment lying around for him to use, he needs to stop him in time before doing anything too drastic. He’s hoping his setup is randomized drones, secured away from the population like in the terminal he last fought him in.

But he knows this is highly unlikely.

Spider-Man finds Beck easily, scanning the construction site for any heat signatures, easily finding him and the drones. How he wanted to be found, near the heart of Manhattan.

“I must be honest, I am so glad to see you again, Petey,” Beck says, voice distorted and warped while he slowly walks further into the construction site, mapping each drop to the floor below or opening above, and each window covered in tarp. “My abilities, my talent, they can’t be stolen from me again.”

Peter turns, scanning via his suit for any signs of Beck, but his ocular scans come back distorted and something lands in front of him, his senses screaming at him at the last possible second and he stumbles into the ground.

Beck’s voice disappears further into the building, and he tries to follow it. He veers left, in a crouch and stumbles into storage bins. “I’ve been waiting for this moment. Admittedly, not for too long, but long enough.”

Peter’s warped back into the city, green gases swirling in the air and black fog consuming the city. No matter how hard it is to stay grounded, he stumbles into the nearest buildings, cars, and people.

“It’s not real,” he whispers to himself, not quite believing it.

“It’s going to be a shame when many people here will have to die, with Spider-Man buried in the snow,” his voice rings to his right, then above him. He sees Beck walking in the shadows of the plot, he follows as closely behind as he can.

Beck disappears above him, and he launches webs onto the nearest pillar, beaming up to the next floor. He leads himself through a new haze of fog, it spans wide and far and out into the real city where real residents live. He runs down a narrow hall, turning a corner into a wider area and sees Beck leading himself outside. He’s a few stories up, and can see Beck standing one story up from the ground.

“Stark wanted to use me. He did use me. Now, your precious lawyers want to destroy my life,” Beck sounds echoey, and it’s freaking him out, because how far away is everybody? Does he need to contact anyone else, like the PD?

“And where were you, Peter?” Beck asks, voice rising and thunderous, “ Living lavishly, spoiled, wealthily like a trust fund kid.”

Spider-Man jumps another floor down, sending another array of webs around the pillars of the building. He placed webbing on all three floors, following Beck’s path back down into the city where the lights will go dark.

“You knew what you were in for, kid, yet you fled,” Beck says bitterly, and he watches the green mist form back around him in his signature suit and helmet. “You couldn’t save yourself, you’re a cancer spreading in this city.”

“You will be exiled for what you did to me, and there will be no return back this time. You will have nobody to save you from your own track record.”

He internally yells, finding another structure to throw his webs. He needs a netting for when the infrastructure falls, undoing Mysterio’s work.

It’s dark, snow flurries escape from outside the plot, and Peter stills once he sees a pile of dead bodies in front of him. He can’t see his city like this, he refuses to get to this aftermath. He turns and runs to a quick stop in front of Beck on the walkway outside.

“I will bring this entire city down, do NOT underestimate me!” Mysterio shouts into the sky, the snow falling heavier into the city illuminated by the glow of the pink sunrise. “Just watch me do it.”

“I won’t let you!” Spider-Man yells, attacking the first drone Mysterio sets in front of him. He casts his webs onto it, launching it into Mysterio. He hears yelps from below, hoping everyone takes the hint and leaves, no matter their commute.

“I said I WILL destroy your city,” Mysterio outcries, sending a thunderous wave of force into the ground, shaking the perimeter and the building’s core.

“ Uh-oh, ” he panics, flipping off the ground and avoiding the skittering and electrical impulses he sends waves of. He’s electrocuted, and he scrambles back far, watching big chunks of cement fall off of each floor's foundation, and he gasps as he tries to catch each piece before it lands onto the street below.

They’re on top of the high rise now, the top of U.N. headquarters, right at the edge. He gasps, watching the plot they were just in a few moments ago crumble to the ground. The screams from the street below ache his bones, and he’s too far away, no—

He’s right inside, but he can’t fucking see where he is, if he walks forward he’ll fall off the building, he’s sure of it. There aren’t any grips for his webs, and he shakes along with the front. There’s more cold wind, sending chills throughout his body. He sees May holding onto the edge of the building, he recognizes her rings. Her fingers desperately cling for life, her blood curdling screams rush into his ears. Everything below them is so small, and he steps closer to the edge of the building where the snow drifts down below them.

This isn’t real.

Beck is playing him, again, and he’s somehow winning right now. He sucks a breath in through his nose, shuts his eyes, and remembers the fate of New York is in his hands. It’s out of Tony’s, out of the PD’s, out of everyone else’s hands but his. It’s his uphill battle, and he hopes the boulder doesn’t fall over the edge.

With his eyes squeezed shut, he aims his arms nefariously to catch each boulder, hears each gust of wind and each terrifying pull of gravity giving the boulder more energy, and he strikes each boulder to stop from collapsing the building.

Mysterio’s making him vulnerable again, and the curtain’s close in front of him. He sprints into the dark before anything can appear, thwipping his webs out into the Manhattan buildings now that the construction site is taken care of.

He listens out for Beck, listening to the buzzing carrying him away in real life, making the city more vulnerable the further he goes.

May is counting on him. She was certain he was having a paranoid episode, and it probably contributed to what he saw, but they’re counting on him. The real Mysterio is right here, heart drumming wildly from his adrenaline. He has no room for error again/

He ignores an incoming phone call from Matt in his mask, catching up to Mysterio transporting to below the Chrysler building. He thrusts his entire body into the velocity of his webs, falling dangerously slow to the ground and ascends straight into the heavy snow.

Spider-Man catches up to Beck on a new rooftop, taking a giant leap off of the Chrysler building to the supporting one below. He glides, landing on the rooftop. He’ll never be tired of the feeling of falling, the snow emulating the act even more and he moves faster.

He runs into him from above, tackling Mysterio to the ground.

Mysterio’s upgraded tech clatters across the ground, and the storm does not clear at all. None of the hail stops, the buildings shake in anticipation for a disastrous fall. Peter sees stars when he swings his arm back, landing a punch on him and immediately getting striked in the head by a drone.

Beck grabs Peter by the neck, using his size on him to slam his head back into the brick wall of the building. He kicks himself off the wall, tackling him and hits him. He strikes, producing red, blue, and purple contusions that the snow can’t cover now. He attempts to yank his helmet off to strike more skin, avoiding drone strikes surrounding him.

“She’s ready!” Mysterio shouts, shoving Spider-Man off and he’s too frozen to strike any of the drones now in formation, in an arrow.

Like a deck of cards shuffling, he watches a new scene in front of him, where his webbing failed and crushed a few dozen meters of buildings crushed under rubble, dust and snow swirling in the sky while the city bursts into haunting tears.

Spider-Man quickly recovers, shaking under his webbing that attaches to the drones, flying at full force. He tries to web them all up, but they relentlessly demolish and set flame to each high-rise nearby. He watches the city crumble, the tarmac of the streets withering under destruction, and he watches helpless people fall into these abysses along with cars and tons of snow, and he tugs on his webs.

“S..See, I was ri—ght, I will kill everyone you love— we will be back.”

He stops one drone, but halts to a stop when the drones crash into another building. He hooks Beck’s suit into a drone, finally having the upperhand and more leverage on the older man. He uses his free hand to grab the helmet, slamming his face into the drone repeatedly, watching the glass break and shatter, cutting him up.

Peter continues to land blows to the face, red blooming and turning to blues and purples around his face. His nose is bloodied, his mouth is ripped apart, and glass shards cut him further. He hopes his head slumps forward, watching an avalanche in the distance makes it way towards fucking Manhattan. His own chest flickers in pain, and he looks down to see the suit torn in half at his chest to reveal a pool of blood thickening. He checks to see if Beck is unconscious, they can hardly hold onto the crashing drones in flight.

He presses the controls, any, hoping to override his coding and deactivate them. This is all too familiar, he must be behind him, waiting. He’s hauled through the sky, grazed against each apartment complex and school and office buildings. He’s woozy, spinning in the air at a high velocity and they begin to crash head-on into FEAST, and his heart lurches.

He sees black.

He’s buried deep in the snow, searching for a pocket of air to breathe through and begin digging from. He can’t feel his hands, but he blindly flops around, trying his hardest to hold his screaming back and failing. His suit is soaked through, offline, and the seams tore and burned his skin with pure frozen snow.

He gasped, not remembering if Matt called back or not, did he ever answer the call? Was the call an illusion? He hears more blood curdling screams surrounding him, and this is real. Not an illusion. Real, real, or.. Fake?

He screams into the dark, the irony of the white-reflecing snow drenching him in blackness. Pounding fear in his body, his veins giving up on him, his cells killing him. Frozen. Only fear courses through each neuron and each cell.

Not knowing if Beck destroyed his city, his family—

He needs out, maybe this is an illusion. Is he back to a few months ago, not believing anything is real? He didn’t see Beck, but he heard him, he should be dead from those drones.

He stares into the finally relenting sky, wondering if he escaped his sisyphus destiny. His vision falls into another illusion, everything’s black, but no this is real, he’s real. He succumbs to exhaustion instead.

His body feels too heavy, he slumps down weakly and lies on his left side.

“I just said, found him outside of FEAST--”

“And what the hell were you doing there?--”

“Does it matter? I called him, he ignored me, and we knew the consequences when we agreed to take on this case--”

“Matt, it’s alright. Foggy, take a breath. You both handled it well.”

He’s in a car. The low hum soothes his aching body and it smells like clorox and blood in here.

“He lost a lot of blood on the scene, he’s hypothermic, for hell’s sake! Do not antagonize me right now.--”

“—We’re not!—“

“He’s a kid. He doesn’t deserve this. Matt, this is extraordinarily worse than when I found you half dead on your couch, already writing your eulogy because I didn’t think I could save you. You were doing it all alone, and I—“

He hears cloth moving around, probably a hand rubbing their back.

“We have it handled.”

“What do you mean handled?! You mean a just as self-sacrificial vigilante clad in red that’s a total maniac? Possible psychopath mercenary? With pool in their name?!”

“Foggy, calm down before your artery bursts.”

Pans clattering and humans talking around him awoke him, and he could’ve sworn he was just at Nelson and Murdock’s law firm in search of a first-aid kit. The talking is what he becomes most aware of when he returns slowly to consciousness, able to feel his limbs.

“Hmfh,” he hums, burying himself further into the warmer clothing he’s wearing and the familiar Hello Kitty blanket a 6 year old he knows owns. The pillows feel like homes, though.

“Welcome back, walking dead,” Tony greets, waving someone over from beside him. He’s walking in from around the corner where the kitchen is, a familiar smell of his favorite chocolate babka simmering through the air. Tony sits down beside him, feeling the couch cushion sink down. He runs a hand through his hair, squeezing his shoulder and sighing. Peter props himself up on one elbow, his smile returning when he sees May run into the room and tackle him into the couch cushions with a hug.

“I’m so sorry for not believing you, honey,” May tears up, pulling back to take a closer look at him. He’s hyper aware of his surroundings, his memories slowly fade back in. He sees the confusion run across her face, and she makes no move to bring it up. “You did so good.”

The next few days result in the same ways. He’s bedbound for now, receiving updates by his own lawyers that the city isn’t suing him for damages this time and that local vigilantes and authorities are cleaning up the city. He was an open book to his family and friends, splayed out for all of them to pick, poke, and prod at.

Even with the best intentions, they were overbearing.

He spent most of his newfound freetime continuing his part-time jobs. His photography job at the Daily Bugle is allowing him, graciously, to write articles in the meantime he’s out of photo-commission. He picked up writing articles for Nelson and Murdock, who were still a mess.

He and May both had many emotions over this, what this meant for his recovery, and how he won’t put his recovery on the back-burner.

They all avoid talking about him. Where he is, what happened. News articles never seem to reach him.

Closer to Christmas during the time his friends celebrated, he can’t help but feel isolated and the paranoia coils through him once again. He needs to begin recovery slowly, because he can’t handle being separated from Tony, Pepper, and Morgan currently, and especially May when she leaves for work or to pick up groceries.

Despite receiving a scholarship to MIT, all of his trauma probably counts out any chance of college anytime soon. He doubts he can go back to being a normal person, preparing every possible scenario for when he returns, and he feels like begging on his knees for help. He and May pass more time saving up for tuition money, just in case.

He’s safe now. He’s home. He waits for the other shoe to drop. For the boulder to fall off the top of the cliff.

[i-did-not-ask-for-your-bs]

Just saw a post about "extended ir*n-fam" and some of those people??? just didn't make sense to me???

Like I understand headcanon and fanon family, I myself have headcanons about that kind of thing with other characters, but some of those people being there just didn't make sense?

They had Wanda, Peggy, MJ, May, Shuri, Nebula, Natasha, and god damn Ultron were all included! Natasha I can understand to an extent, I guess, and Ultron was his creation (even though Ultron didn't like him in canon), but the rest of them don't make a whole lot of sense.

Wanda was locked up by him and he was the source of a lot of major trauma for her, whether directly or indirectly doesn't matter. While she might not still actively hold a grudge against him, I don't think she likes him enough to even consider thinking of him as family. Especially after Civil War.

Peggy has never been confirmed to have ever had a relationship with Tony. As far as we know, they may not have ever met in the first place, and don't hit me with that "Peggy was totally Tony's godmother!" argument. That whole thing is fanon and utter bullshit, it's implied in Agent Carter that Howard was Jewish and, therefore, Tony wouldn't even have godparents in the first place! Howard was, as it has been established, good at compartmentalizing and keeping his work life and personal life separate, that could also apply to his friendship with Peggy.

MJ, this one just screams shite to me. I mean honestly, no matter her relationship with Peter, you expect me to believe MJ, Michelle "Eat the Rich" Jones, the same Michelle Jones that I wholeheartedly believe to be anti-establishment, against the 1% and billionaires, and would totally be out there protesting against poverty and the hoarding of money, would be part of the "ir*n-fam"? I just...have no words.

Aunt May, do I even in need to explain this one? Again, no matter her relationship to Peter, do you honestly think she would just be chill with T*ny Stark? I mean, come on. She's a lower-class woman looking after her incredibly intelligent nephew after the death of his parents, they don't have a lot of spare money especially after her husband's death when Peter was younger. Now, comes along an incredibly rich, genius scientist showing an interest in said nephew's potential: of course she's gonna play nice when he shows up, of course she's gonna be excited that Peter has this opportunity. That does not mean, however, that she likes T*ny or that she'd want to be part of the "ir*n-fam".

Shuri, is it not bad enough that Tony has tried to claim Peter and has overtaken his story, but now Shuri has to suffer the same fate? To our knowledge they have never even met, why would she be a part of the "ir*n-fam"?

Nebula, yes, she was on a ship with him for a few weeks but it's not shown anywhere that they kept in touch. The fact that they got along fairly well while on the ship doesn't mean much, they were stuck on there alone for weeks, they probably had to learn to at least tolerate each other in order to stay sane.

In conclusion, wtf? Why does every character that has barely anything, or absolutely nothing, to do with T*ny need to be made to be part of his “ir*n-fam”? It just doesn’t make sense to me.

P.S. don't come at me for tagging characters relevant/mentioned in this post. If you don't like anti posts you should block anti tags, that's part of the reason they exist.

[discotreque]

Disco 3.08: The Sanctuary

This week IRL was a real mixed bag for me: a lot of messy and barely-manageable anxiety about my health, my day job, and uhhhh *gestures outside*—but also I’ve recently fallen in love (from a responsible social distance)—so it’s been equal parts re-writing professional emails to edit the panic attack out of my tone and gazing dreamily at Discord notifications with cartoon hearts in my eyes. It feels like my life is going to hell in the cutest, coziest handbasket—which is to say that Michael Burnham could not possibly feel like a more relatable character to me right now.

I continue to have issues with the writing at a strange medium-level—somewhere between micro, where the dialogue and characters are really good, and macro, where I’m digging the pace of the overall season, it almost feels like something went wrong in the assembly process, and the script ended up a little bit less than the sum of its perfectly good parts. Again.

But that’s such vague criticism as to be nearly meaningless, and it’s hardly the most interesting level to spend time on anyway. If I zoom out, the parallel season arcs of “getting used to the future” and “the mystery of the Burn” are hanging together wayyyyy better than the Red Angel saga did last year.

And if I zoom in? This episode was funny as shit, wtf.

The discourse re: Tilly these past couple of weeks has been bullshit, and I have a whole angry thing to say about it—but honestly, if you can’t appreciate Doug Jones and Mary Wiseman as a comedic duo, I’m not really mad: mostly I pity the lack of joy in your heart.

Everyone on this show is so funny. Doug’s prissy little delivery absolutely slaughters me (“Execute!...?”), Mary will make a face sometimes that has me screaming laughter into my hands, and I’ve gone on before—and will again—about Sonequa Martin-Green’s egregiously underrated comedy chops.

They were obviously casting for folks w/ jokes in the new season too: David Ajada is no slouch in the dry-delivery or the goofy-face department; his energy and chemistry with Sonequa are as suited to comedy as they are to romance (i.e. extremely 🥵). Anthony Rapp and Wilson Cruz we knew about, but Blu del Barrio—a certified tiny baby!!!—holds their own and lands every smartass whiz-kid one-liner just on the right side of “too precious to stand.” (I almost always at least chuckle, and never roll my eyes, and for a “teen genius” character that’s literally as good as it gets.) And living legend Michelle Yeoh is clearly having the time of her life, omfg.

Disco’s not funny-funny like Lower Decks, but they do funny-on-purpose better than any live-action Trek except maybe DS9. They have such a deep comedic bench they don’t even need Tig Notaro—they have her on just to flex, I presume.

(I don’t know if I’m predicting, per se, that Strange New Worlds—with Rebecca Romjin’s deadpan, Anson Mount’s twinkly eyes, and Ethan Peck’s twinkly-eyed deadpan—is going to have a tone somewhere between Disco S3 and LwD—but I mean... it kinda has to, right? And you know they kept the number for Rainn Wilson’s agent.)

***

At the start of this episode, I was “sure, why the fuck not” about First Officer Tilly; by the end, I was completely on board. And to everyone who’s still wringing their hands about “the real military” this (always from people who have no idea how actual militaries work, lol) and “Lt. Nilsson” that (she... already has a job on the ship? And no character traits besides “stoic” and “furrows brow”? Oh, I get it—she’s skinny and blonde)—y’all are kind of embarrassing me.

“Rank” and “position” (and “seniority” and “day-to-day duties”...) aren’t the same thing, in Star Trek or any IRL military. Yes, the permanent first officers of normal-duty Starfleet ships we’ve seen have usually been command-division officers with the rank of Commander—but not always. Star Trek: Discovery-A, if you will, is a unique show about a unique ship in a unique situation: “B-b-but that’s not how they do it on Star Trek!!!” isn’t a legitimate criticism, not of this—it’s the mournful cry of an entitled pissbaby who isn’t having their hand held all the way to the fireworks factory.

Here’s what an argument supported by the text of the first 37 episodes of Star Trek: Discovery actually looks like: Sylvia Tilly is nervous and lacks self-confidence, but once she gets over herself—which she can do pretty much instantly in a crisis, even when hilariously intoxicated—she is competent as hell. In lower-stakes situations, without intense pressure to focus her attention, she sometimes gets sidetracked by her own insecurities; at her best, she channels that anxious energy into ambition, drive, and being scrupulously organized.

The only person Tilly doesn’t always get along with is Stamets, and even Stamets’s husband thinks he’s an asshole. Since Season 1, we’ve seen her easily socializing with the rest of the crew, who seem to universally adore her. And she’s also happy to leave her social comfort zone at a moment’s notice: she aligned herself with Ash Tyler (miss you, Shazad!) when no one else would, and she instantly befriended Po even when Po was in Weird Feral Alien Princess mode and Tilly had salad in her hair. She doesn’t like confrontation, but she’s brave enough to initiate it anyway if she needs to, and she’s compassionate with other people’s feelings while still setting firm boundaries. (Her graceful dodge of Rhys’s tipsy kiss at the party in 1.07 lives rent-free in my head to this day.)

No, Tilly didn’t finish the Command Training Program—but she started it, which is almost certainly more command training than any of the lieutenants whose names we know, all of whom are Ops or Science personnel with, presumably, specialized non-command training of their own. The same could be assumed for any unseen ranking officers on this science ship with an entirely volunteer skeleton crew.

And seriously, about Nilsson: she’s my #3 background bae after Octopus Head and the lady on Pike’s Enterprise with the spiky red face, but her job is Spore Drive Ops, not personnel. If she’s running after Saru with a holo-clipboard, who’s going to look serious and push holo-buttons when there’s a Black Alert? *drops holo-mic* Drumhead!

***

The stuff on Kwejian, though. Ooof. Ol’ Two-Takes Frakes directed this one, and between the kinetic energy he always adds to the camera and the scintillating performances he evokes, things stayed moving so briskly I almost didn’t notice Book’s entire “homeworld” was a rental house outside Vancouver, a couple acres of adjacent woods, and like six or seven people.

It’s a hot mess in retrospect, but in the moment it gave us the intensity of Book and Kyheem trying to hurt each other’s feelings by poking at 15-year-old wounds, which as a sibling with complicated sibling relationships I found both funny and devastating—not to mention Frakes directing “shaky bridge” explosion falls at an obvious intensity of “10” on an outdoor location shoot. It falls apart at the slightest scrutiny, but I can’t lie, on first viewing I was totally along for the ride.

***

I’m dying to see where this Georgiou thing goes. It doesn’t feel like a stretch to assume she got Cronenberg’d a couple weeks ago, probably to get her under the thumb of this century’s Section 31, and that her arc is going to take Michelle Yeoh off this show in a way that sets up the S31 show. But also, I don’t care so much whether I’m right, I just want to watch Michelle Yeoh—and Sonequa Martin-Green, and also David Cronenberg tbh, and bring back Shazad Latif while you’re at it—get wherever they’re going.

It’s also a fun and interesting direction to take the comically-evil comic relief character and show that her performative moustache-twirling is partly habit and partly a transparent emotional defence against very real fear and vulnerability. We’re all products of our circumstances, and a radical enough change in circumstances can afford almost anyone at least the opportunity to change. I can’t say Emperor Georgiou would have been my first choice of protagonist for that storyline, but it’s not like Michelle Yeoh’s not going to fuckin’ crush it.

***

Miscellany:

So the Burn had an origin point, and now that point is broadcasting a signal that’s somehow both a haunting melody that everyone seems to know—but no one can remember learning—and a Federation distress signal. What the fuck, y’all. I have full-body goosebumps just typing that.

Saru workshopping his own captainly catchphrase with the aid of Tilly’s extreme sincerity and organizational skills is probably the funniest thing that’s ever happened on this show—followed closely by the uncomfortably lingering reaction shots when he’s trying them out on the bridge 😂 (And omg please give Rhys and Bryce the dumbass buddy-comedy C-plots they deserve next season, I beg you.)

I would do a little “prop watch” entry on those Kwejianian(?) bolt-throwing rifles, but I’d have to stop drooling over them first. “Curvy polished hardwood” seems to be New Trek shorthand for “extra sleek and futuristic” (cf. the bridge of the USS Titan in the LwD finale), and I have to say: I am fully into it.

Restating my prediction that we will not see Detmer and Owosekun get together this season, because we will find out that they’ve been together for ages. Everyone knew—Pike even knew!—it just never came up in front of the audience before. That would be one of the cutest ways to do it imho, and one of the funniest too, especially as a meta-joke about how much character development didn’t happen in the first two seasons. (That said, if we get to see their first kiss, I will be screaming with incoherent joy for days, so this is a real win-win for me.)

Speaking of cute: IRL spouses Mary Wiseman and Noah Averbach-Katz, both Julliard-trained actors (it’s where they met!), can’t quite hide their chemistry in the scenes between Tilly and Ryn. I loved seeing Tilly be a hardass when Ryn was rude to the captain, but that sparkle in her eyes didn’t quite match the context <3

And speaking of people who are VERY OBVIOUSLY IN LOVE: that last scene with Book and Michael, and his nervous little “yeah, I said it” eyebrow lift, and her irrepressible giggle as she’s walking away... it was almost too much. Especially right after the queer-family scenes with Stamets and Culber and Adira. My poor heart is going through a lot lately, and I guess I’m just glad Season 3’s emotional intensity is melting it with soft sweet scenes like that instead of kicking it down repeated flights of stairs like Season 1.

***

Next week: everyone stops caring about the Burn and starts trying to solve an even more important mystery—why is this (holographic) dude wearing an early-2360s uniform with an early-2370s combadge?

[themusicplayedherlife]

Some Sugar

Part 3:  you think you can open my heart?

pairing: sugar daddy!steve rogers x reader characters: reader, steve rogers, cassandra jones (oc), selena (oc), others word count: 3k+ warnings: angst, family issues, money problems, cursing, talks of sex summary: family can be pretty wild a/n: sorry this took so long, but shit happened--from car accidents to quarantine to a lack of motivation, and it was just really hard to write anything. I tried, but it was all shitty. Couldn’t even bring myself to finish this chapter, but I managed it, until I realized that part of this chapter wouldn’t fit in to this anymore and needed to be pushed back -insert grimacing emoji- so really this chapter could’ve been posted weeks ago lmfao IM SORRY

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Quiet hums reach your ear as you stare at your phone’s screen, the large sum of money with too many zeroes staring back at you. It hasn’t even been a week yet and you’ve already received your first allowance—first. 

You throw yourself back onto your twin sized bed and the spring mattress squeaks horribly under your weight; you ignore it as your mind drifts to your conversation with Steve a couple of nights ago, your phone still in your hands and resting on your stomach.

“Even if you have a month left, it’s best to pay off the debt now.” As much as you wanted to pay attention to his blabbering, you were a little busy trying to keep your mind from how fast he was driving.

He had started off slow, or as slow as the speed limit allowed, really, until he got wrapped up in your story about your mom’s cancer returning, your sister’s self sacrificing nature (“She takes after you then,” he said with a grin), and your aunt and her subtle threats that were no longer so subtle.

Left hand gripped the seat tightly while your right hand clutched the handle on the roof. Your feet occasionally slammed down on the floor, braking whenever you felt Steve was going too fast for your liking. Wasn’t Captain America all about doing the right thing and following the law? Being safe? Honestly! He was lucky the streets were empty and there weren’t any cops in sight. You could have laughed at the imaginary headline: Captain America and His Sugar Baby Pulled Over For Driving too Fast. “Right,” is all you managed to say. 

“I can probably wire you the money tomorrow and then some,” he said, completely oblivious to your dilemma. You didn’t—and still don’t—know whether that was a good or bad thing. “We should probably figure out how allowance is going to work first, though—hey, are you okay?”

You ripped your gaze from the blur of the world outside, eyes a little wide to find Steve alternating between looking at you and the road. “Can you—can you maybe ease up on the gas a little?”

He blinked, eyes falling to his dashboard and soon the world started blurring less and your body was no longer trying to fight against gravity. You exhaled and let go of the leather seat that you’re sure you’ve scratched up, and he chuckled. “Bad habit,” he admits. “More used to my motorcycle than a car.” Right. Captain America rode a motorcycle.

You leaned back into the seat and your head rolled against the headrest to look at him. “That’d explain it.”

He chuckled, looking at you from the corner of his eye. “I’ll be more careful.”

“Yeah, that’d be great.” It’s sarcastic, and you almost feared he’d be mad but he only chuckled in response, blue eyes twinkling with mirth. Huh.

“So, allowance?”

Allowance. Right. That’s a thing. Allow-ance. Why is that such a weird word to you now? “I trust you.” (Selena had advised you a base price of 2,000 per meeting, but you thought—like most of her suggestions—it was ridiculous. “Give yourself some credit,” she had said when you scolded her.) “Whatever you think is right, I’ll accept.”

For a moment he mirrored your frown, until he nodded resolutely and smiled. “I’ll handle it.”

And handle it he did. Not that you’re surprised that Avengers make bank because c’mon they’re heroes! You just didn’t think they’d make that much bank to spare this much money! Tony Stark? Sure. He owned a damn company—or was on the board, you don’t know anymore. But the rest? Not so much.

A familiar ring from your phone pulls you out of your thoughts and you don’t even bother checking who it is, you just accept the call. 

“Mornin’,” Steve’s voice greets you, a smile very much apparent in his voice and your heart does a flip. “I’m downstairs.”

You sit up hastily and in your hurry you almost fall off, eyes darting to the closed bathroom where Esmeralda is showering. “What?” Didn’t he say you were meeting at noon for lunch?

“My meeting got pushed back to this evening, and since you asked for the day off from the restaurant, I thought we’d make the most of the morning.”

“I’ll be down in a moment.” You pause when the doorbell rings. “Please tell me you’re not at my door right now.”

“No, but that might be Peter Parker.” How does he know—Shit. Right. He mentioned knowing the kid from his internship after you told him about your sister. “Just saw him enter the building with his friends.”

“Did he see you?” You really hope not.

“I don’t think so. If he had, the kid would’ve said something.”

You let out a relieved sigh and open the door just as you hear Ned say: “I swear that was Captain America downstairs!”

“What?” He said they didn’t see him!

“Morning,” Peter greets you as MJ rolls her eyes at Ned’s comment.

“I didn’t see anyone,” she says pointedly at him, before greeting you and smiling when you let them in.

You dumbly stare after them.

“It was him!” Ned insists, making a beeline towards the window facing the street and dragging Peter along with him.

MJ turns to you as she moves around the half wall separating the kitchen from the living room, not surprising. “Mind if I grab something to eat?” 

“Sure?” You still don’t know why she bothers asking.

“The windows are tinted, Ned,” Peter hisses. “I can’t see.”

“You got Greek yogurt? Oh. You do. Cool.”

Ned frowns and scratches his head, murmuring, “I swear it was him.”

You sigh, and drop your hand holding your phone without ending the call. “Can you tell Esme I got called into work?”

“Yeah,” Peter says, turning away from the window. “Sure!”

“And tell her to shoot me a text before you guys leave for school.” Peter nods, not really paying attention to you as he joins Michelle in the kitchen, already knowing the drill. “No dirty dishes in the sink.”

The last thing you see is MJ flashing you a thumbs up before you close the door behind you.

As you make your way towards the stairs, you lift your phone back to your ear. “Didn’t see you, huh?”

“I may have poked my head out of the window to say hi to the kid, until I heard them mention you and your sister.”

“Yeah. He usually picks her up, doesn’t like Esmeralda going to and from school alone,” you explain as you search around the street. With a sigh you immediately spot him. “Can’t you drive a least expensive car? You stick out like a sore thumb.”

He chuckles and you hear movement before seeing the driver door about to open. “I could always drive my motor—“

“No, no, no!” You rush towards him. “Do not get out of the car.”

“But—“

“Ned was looking out the window when I left,” you say, your eyes moving to the windows of your apartment, but thankfully don’t see him. “He still might be.”

He sighs, but obliges, the door closing.

“Thank you,” you tell him as you hang up the phone and open the door.

“They're bound to find out,” he says, raising an eyebrow in your direction as you buckle yourself in.

You know, and you tell him as much, “I don’t know how to exactly explain this—“you motion to him and you—“yet.”

He frowns, fingers tapping against the steering wheel as he pulls away from the curb. “We’ll figure it out.”

He takes you to a small restaurant in Brooklyn. Light blue walls and leather seats with white and golden lights—it’s retro, super retro, but cozy. Steve keeps his sunglasses on and the bill of his hat low. It’s ridiculous if he thinks this is really a disguise that works.

The curious host leads you to a table in the back, away from prying eyes—hopefully—after you ask for a booth. He settles into the leather facing the door and you opposite of him, large painting being the only thing you have sight of other than Steve, and yourself if you turn to your left and stare at the mirror covering a third of the wall.

She hands you both menus and leaves after you take a quick scan of the drink menu.

“How effective do you think the sunglasses and hat are?”

“It’s covert,” he defends, playful offense in his voice.

You lean on your crossed arms resting on the table. “You’re literally wearing sunglasses indoors, Steve. That’s weird. And bound to attract attention.”

“Tony does it all the time.” Is he whining?

You snort, staring into the dark lenses, imagining where his eyes are. “Yeah, because he’s the Tony Stark.” He scoffs and you shrug. “He can do things like that and get away with it. Not like he’s actively trying to hide himself either.”

“Okay, I get it. It’s a little ridiculous.”

You grin, amused at the small pout forming on his pink lips. Who knew Captain America was a sulker. It’s cute.

Your assigned waitress comes by and takes your order after placing down your drinks that the hostess marked down for you both. You choose something light—a pesto caprese sandwich—compared to the hearty breakfast Steve orders for himself—a loaded omelet, heavy on the cheese. You smile up at the waitress, but you find that her eyes, although listening to you, are trained on Steve. He seems to notice, too, because he smiles politely before gesturing to you with a small incline of his head.

“How about we share a side of tater tots, sweetheart?”

You blink lazily at the nickname just as the waitress drops her gaze to you as if finally remembering that your voice belongs to an actual body. There’s a tingle that curves down your spine and you know he’s staring at you behind his dark glasses. His shoe nudges yours and his lips curl into a lopsided smirk. 

You recline your cheek against your perched arm and tilt your head further into your palm with a smile. “Anything you want, baby,” you coo and Steve lifts a playful brow in question, your smile only growing wider when he nudges your shoe again.

The waitress squirms and mutters something before scurrying away.

“Baby?”

Sweetheart? you want to shoot back, but instead you remain neutral, reaching for your drink with your free hand. “Better than calling you daddy.”

He straightens, visible skin turning red and you stifle a laugh as he shuffles in his seat. “I—“ You don’t break eye contact, if his eyes are following yours, as you wrap your lips around the paper straw and suck the sweet orange juice to coat your tongue. “You can call me anything you want, sweetheart.”

Interesting. “Even Stevie?”

“Anything,” he reiterates, leaning back into the seat to rest his arm over the backrest and you smile. “As long as I get the same privilege.” 

“It’s a deal, sugarplum.”

He snorts a laugh and you just shrug, trying to hide your smile with pursed lips. 

“Tell me more about your family.”

The question cools you down, smile effectively shrinking into tight lips. 

“Like?” you ask, suddenly finding the painting hanging behind his head much more interesting. It’s a simple painting of the beach, golden, warm colors contrasting with the beautiful cool shades of blue and white used for the ocean. 

“You told me about your mom and sister, even Peter and his aunt, but you didn’t mention your dad—unless,” his voice turns soft, posture relaxing as if to put you at ease, “unless you don’t want to talk about him. I’m sorry—I shouldn’t be—“

“It’s okay,” you interject softly, lifting your head from your palm. “I just don’t know where to start.” He nods and removes his glasses with one hand as he reaches for one of your hands. “Um, my dad… he died in a car accident when I was 13.” You watch his fingers as they intertwine with yours, just like they did at the bar. Steve doesn’t seem like it, but he craves physical affection. Always seemingly touching you by holding your hand. Not that you mind it, it definitely comforted you, but you can’t help but wonder: why. “He was a good man. Smart. Loved us all very much. Loved technology,” you emphasized followed by a small laugh. 

He’d spend hours tinkering with home appliances to try and upgrade them. You loved those moments the most, when you’d sit by him and he’d ask for a tool and you’d hand it to him. He’d tell you what he was doing, explain every step and process and what that change would do. He nurtured your mind, treated it as his equal.

He squeezes gently and you let his warmth cover you. “I’m sorry.”

You shrug. “It’s okay. I’ve gotten over it.” He doesn’t mention the twitch of your fingers or the way your voice falters, he instead lets you change the subject. “I also have a brother that is 3 years older.”

Unlike your sister, you, and your dad, JC has always been more artistic, preferring to follow in your mother’s footsteps in learning how to play instruments and singing. He never understood your fascination with tinkering and creating, shunning your father’s activities when he tried to get all of you to help upgrade the television or stereo or whatever project he brought home from the lab.

He frowns at that, a little confused. You don’t blame him. You didn’t exactly mention him when you talked about Esme and your mom. “Did he move away?”

“Yep,” you pop the p, absentmindedly twirling the straw in your drink. “Moved out as soon as he turned 18. Would see him twice a year at best, but we used to hear from him often. Then after I turned 18 we never heard from him again.” And he made sure you wouldn’t be able to find him, too. Changed his number, deleted all of his social media, cut ties with his friends, and vanished. Not that you were surprised, he hated the struggle you and your family went through after dad died. You had always known he’d leave at some point. 

But you stupidly held onto the hope he wouldn’t leave when you needed him most.

“Oh.” He frowns, trying to think of what to say, maybe even offer to help look for him. But what would that do? That’d just bring him back to the life he wanted to get away from. 

You flex your fingers in his hold, just to readjust your grip on him and hum lowly. “It is what it is.”

“Do you miss him?”

“Sometimes,” you admit, but it somehow feels wrong when you think about the last time you spent with your brother. The hurt he caused when you woke up and he was no longer there in the morning, only a single cupcake with a candle waiting for you on the kitchen counter. “Other times I—I don’t.” His thumb caresses the edge of your palm, barely grazing your wrist and you can’t help but let the negative feelings fade with his gentle touch. “What about you?”

“What about me?” he asks, soft with blue eyes staring into you. He knows you’re changing the subject, but he lets you. You don’t want to talk about JC anymore or even think about him, and it’s for the best.

“What’s your family like?” He looks at you as if you've grown another head and you flush slightly. “I meant your friends, Steve. You’re all like family, right?”

“Oh!” His eyebrows shoot up and he tenses for a moment before relaxing, smile worming its way onto his lip. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, we are. They’re great. A little out there, but they’re good people.”

He tells you all about them; from Tony and Bucky and how the were able to set aside their differences when the world needed it most and how they bonded over their love of science; Natasha and Wanda and their bond as sisters, including the fact that they could most likely rule the world if they tried; Vision and Clint and their strange friendship that was born from trying different food; Sam and Sharon and their newfound relationship that everyone likes teasing; to Thor and Bruce and their bromance born from fighting in a planet a la gladiator style—all of them, telling you things you wouldn’t hear from television or read from articles with interviews. And from the way his eyes light up and his voice lightens, there's no doubt in your mind that he loves his family just as much as you love yours.

Your aunt stares at you with barely disguised distaste before unpleasant eyes move to Steve, who stands close to you still wearing his hat and sunglasses. No matter how many times you told him to stay in the car, he wouldn’t listen. “If she’s willing to send someone to threaten you, who knows what she’s capable of,” he had said, grabbing onto your hand before letting you go to get out of the car.

The check is flat on her desk, but she doesn’t move to pick it up. “How did you get this?”

“Does it matter?”

She tutts, eyes boiling with restrained anger. “I don’t want stolen money.”

That’s rich coming from her. “It’s not.”

“I suggest you take it ma’am,” Steve speaks up, breaking his silence. “And consider the debt paid.”

She tilts her head, eyes taking over Steve properly, like a huntress on the prowl. “And who exactly are you?”

“That’s none of your business,” you answer for him, moving to stand in front of him and effectively cutting her gawking. “Just sign what you need to sign and we’ll be on our way.” And we won’t have to see each other again.

She stares unblinkingly at you before wearing a strained smile. She pulls out a file from behind her and flips it open to the correct page, signing it and stamping it along with the last page before ripping it out—a receipt—and handing it to you. 

You take it from her hands and scan your eyes over it—PAID. A giddiness bubbles in your stomach, but you hide it from her. “I would say it was a pleasure Magdalena, but it never is.” You turn on your heels and Steve is right behind you. “One more thing,” you pause at the door, Steve close enough to press his chest against your back. “Stay away from my family,” you warn before strutting out the door, smile curving your lips when you meet the disgruntled gaze of the man that had threatened you at your work.

He gives you a nod of acknowledgement as he makes his way into your aunt’s office.

“Say hi to Johnny for me,” she suddenly calls out just as he closes the door behind you, but it’s enough to throw you off guard. For your throat to close up and for you to stop in your tracks and for your hand to reach out for the hem of Steve’s jacket, barely caching the smirk she sends your way.

“Sweetheart?” Steve’s voice floats to your ears, warm and soft. “What’s the matter? Who’s Johnny?”

“My brother,” you say through a breath. He couldn't have come—wouldn’t have come back. There’s no way. JC made it perfectly clear he never would. You shake your head. “She must’ve been lying. Trying to get a rise out of me.”

“It worked,” he points out obviously and you sigh as he gently pries your hand from his jacket.

You don’t want to admit it, but… “It did.”

“Come on.” He slips his fingers between yours and tugs you out of the desolate building and back out into the streets of Queens. “Let’s get out of here.”

There’s a bubbling in the pit of your stomach, heart hammering as you glance over your shoulder back at your aunt, the small relief you had felt at getting her off your back tainted by the thought of JC being back, not even Steve’s warmth can ease your worry.

But there’s no way—he wouldn't. There’s nothing left in Queens for him anymore, and there never will be.

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