#and mentally i gain so much wisdom and stop thought patterns and grow!

[thebmatt]

Another set of Character Development questions, this time very specific to FFXIV

I cam across another set of character development questions on the Emet-Selch Bookclub discord, and since I love these things, I’m going to answer all 35 of them for all 4 of my crew! Ready? Let’s go!

1. Where were they during the Calamity? 

Franks had not yet made the journey between their worlds yet, he only did so about a year into the Seventh Umbral Era.

Fearless was still living on Aerslant, which I don’t know if there’s any canonical description of how the Calamity affected that region, but I’m going to go with “they felt the effects, but it wasn’t quite mass chaos like it was in Eorzea”

Dahkar and Rheika were both living in the Black Shroud but were mostly spared the direct effects. 

2. How did they acquire their Echo? 

All four of them received the Echo as it plays out in the MSQ. Dahkar and Rheika got it after dealing with the enraged treants at Lifemend Stump, Fearless and Franks after fighting the frenzied Mossback at the Seasong Grotto

3. Does their Echo function like it does in the MSQ? Or is there a twist to it? 

For the most part it functions like it does in the MSQ, but there’s some extra abilities that it provides that I’m planning on exploring in a future fic. To summarize: the Armory system is represented as a pocket dimension the Warriors can store clothing, weapons, and tools in. The Echo also allows them to “pause and save” any learning they have done in a particular discipline and resume it as if no time had passed whenever they choose

4. Do they have a canon mount or minion? What's its name(s)? 

All four of them have their chocobos, which I don’t have names for yet (the ones in game aren’t canon, as they’re mostly inside jokes). Aside from those, two of my crew have a couple of mounts special to them.

Franks has kept Maggie, the Magitek Armor liberated by the Garlond Ironworks. Most recently, he’s taken to using a Gabriel Alpha magitek unit that he liberated and rebuilt from the Bozjan Southern Front

Rheika is incredibly fond of the True Griffin she befriended while helping the Ananta at Castellum Velodyna. 

5. Where are they from? What was their childhood like? 

I’ve covered this in some of my “Details!” posts I’ve done for them all, so I’ll be brief here

Franks - from another world, grew up on a farm, pretty normal farmer’s childhood

Rheika - grew up outside of Gridania in a Keeper of the Moon community, a middleish child of a large number of sisters. Aside from being made to understand WAY too early that the Wood Wailers will always treat her like a second class citizen because she is a Keeper of the Moon, she had a pretty happy childhood

Dahkar - Born on the Azim Steppe, mother took him to Gridania after his tribe was killed. Similarly treated like outsider, but otherwise kept mostly to himself, only meeting a couple of friends growing up.

Fearless - born and raised in Aerslant, the Sea Wolf Roegadyn homeland. Child of wealthy parents, she had a privileged upbringing but no choice in anything.

6. How did they deal with the massacre on the Waking Sands? 

All of them were horrified and angry by it. Franks had never really experienced the Garlean Empire’s brutality firsthand before this, and it cemented a personal desire to fight them. Fearless, who’d begun to develop serious feelings for Minfilia, was almost beside herself with worry. 

7. How did they deal with Haurchefant's death? 

All of them took it pretty hard, but Dahkar, who’d been romantically involved with him by this point, was almost broken by it. His grief nearly consumed him in rage, quite literally, but “Fray” managed to help him hold it together until he could process and grieve. 

8. How did they feel about the liberation of Ala Mhigo? Do they feel it could have been handled differently? Where they at all bothered by how they were involved? 

I get the sense from the way this question was worded that the original author doesn’t care for the Stormblood storyline much, but honestly, I don’t have a problem with it. None of my crew are native Ala Mhigans, but they were all too happy to participate when it became clear that the time for it to happen had been chosen for everyone by Ilberd’s actions. Plus, y’know, there was that whole potential Bahamut-level primal they needed to deal with. Losing so handily to Zenos was a serious morale blow that messed them all up quite a bit, but all four of them went along with the plan. It offered them a chance to get better, to weaken the Empire and strengthen themselves. 

9. How do they feel about Zenos? 

THey all hate the guy for nearly killing so many of their friends and injuring them so badly. Later, pretty much universal relief when he died, pissed off that he didn’t stay that way, and now hell-bent on ending him once and for all. All of them pretty much agree that bastard needs to die.

10. How do they feel about their relationship with Hydaelyn? Midgarsormr?

Initially they accepted that Hydaelyn was a benevolent force, but once they learned of her origin, especially that she was a primal, a private debate broke out among them all the first chance they got to talk about it (which was after the Shadowbringers 5.0 MSQ when Rheika finally got back to the Source). Franks is very concerned that they’ve been tempered. Dahkar is now extremely wary of her, but isn’t certain their free will has been removed. Rheika and Fearless are unwilling to give up on her, but don’t understand why she stopped speaking to them. 

Initially, they were all furious at Midgardsormr, but came to realize that his deeds in severing their connection to Hydaelyn definitely made them stronger. They now regard him as a friend and a source of wisdom.

11. Were they more sympathetic to the dragons, Ishgardians, neither or both? 

Franks wasn’t certain of this, having known sentient dragons that had absolutely been wronged by mortals in his homeworld, but he didn’t see a way to fix this on his own, so he went along with helping the Ishgardians. He was absolutely on board with Alphinaud’s plan to try and end it, however. 

The others had far less experience with Dragons, and initially accepted their version of events without much thought. They immediately turned on the whole idea when the deception was exposed, though. 

12. How has their job affected whatever headcanon version is of the MSQ if any? 

As I’ve explained in previous posts, I’ve parsed out all of the jobs (except Monk) to my characters, with the aim of balancing the following ideas.

○ At all times during the story, one of them should be capable of tanking, one healing, and the others DPSing ○ If possible no one should have more than 1 job from any of the 5 roles ○ Obviously, don’t give jobs to characters that make no sense for them to pick up

It’s taken a few revisions, but I’m currently happy with the setup they have. For the most part, they’re extremely proficient with their chosen fighting styles and don’t mind swapping around to fill whatever need is present. For Heavensward, the trio who got their new jobs in Ishgard chose to stick with them for the most part, and for much of the Far Eastern parts of Stormblood, Rheika and Fearless chose to stay Ninja and Samurai for the most part, since it felt “right” to them to use those arts when fighting for Doma’s liberation.

13. Are they close with any of the other Scions? Who do they get along with the best? 

Franks gets along best with the more scholarly minded members of the Scions, specifically Y’shtola, Urianger, Krile, and G’raha when he later joins. 

Rheika and Tataru have become the best of friends since she joined. She’s always encouraged Tataru to better herself however she wants, and really loves the newfound confidence she’s gained

Dahkar is closest to Thancred among the senior scions. Among the other members, he’s flirted with Ephemie a fair amount, and is considering whether or not he wants to deepen that to something more serious.

Fearless is probably closest to Alisaie. She admires her confidence a great deal. 

14. Of the Scions, who are they most worried for? 

Franks is most worried for Y’shtola and her “aethersight” draining her life force. He’s actively trying to modify the SCH magicks that cured the tonberry plague to restore her eyesight (and Thancred’s ability to manipulate aether)

Rheika is probably most worried about Urianger, as he’s shown a very disturbing pattern for pursuing a hidden agenda to further the scion’s goals, He claims to be done with that, but she’s worried he might slip into old habits in the future.

Dahkar and Fearless aren’t particularly worried about any of the Scions, beyond the default “these are my adopted family and I don’t want anything to happen to them” level of fear.

15. Is your WoL promiscuous? Celibate? Or just waiting for the right person? 

Franks has so far been unable to move past the death of his wife to consider any new relationships. He’s also far older (if only mentally) than anyone who’d be interested, which also blocks him from considering anything new.

Rheika is aromantic, but pansexual. Romance does nothing for her, she just likes having fun with anyone she considers attractive and will respect her rule. She’s got a number of paramours in various parts of the world.

Dahkar is bi, and willing to engage in casual liaisons but at his heart, he really wants a committed relationship. After Haurchefant died, he hasn’t been involved in anything serious since, only crushing on people emotionally unavailable, such as Yugiri (bound by her oath to HIen) or Kurenai (bound by the oath of the Ruby Princess). He’s recently come to realize that this was a form of self-sabotage and is trying to open up again.

Fearless crushes on every pretty girl she has come across, but is usually too shy or lacking in self-confidence to follow up on them. She greatly regrets never telling Minfilia how she felt about her. Her time as a Warrior of LIght and the friendship she’s built with her fellows has helped tremendously. She’s currently involved in a poly triad with two other women.

16. What does your WoL do to relax? What sorts of distractions do they seek? Do they foster any bad habits as a result?

They enjoy spending time together or with the other Scions. If they’re at a point when they need to be alone, they’ll do the following.

Franks likes to tinker, build things, or solve arcanima problems. He can sometimes get wrapped up in any of those and lose track of time. He’s also prone to hiding away to avoid socializing.

Rheika will generally find someone to take to bed if she’s really stressed, otherwise she’s fine just hanging with people 

Depending on his mood, Dahkar will either find a monster to fight (never something he’s not confident he can beat) or leap to whatever the highest place he can find is and just enjoy the view.

Fearless enjoys reading novels, but as of late prefers spending time with her girlfriends.

17. Who is their favorite Alliance leader? Who do they get along with the best out of them? 

Counting only the 5 members of the Eorzean Alliance, in order from most to least.... 1. Lyse - because she’s one of them, come on 2. (tie) Merlwyb/Aymeric - because they are good people who have the strength to move their nation forward to a better place 3. Nanamo - she’s trying to make Ul’dah better, at least, even if she isn’t able to affect change. Plus she’s not doing enough to address corruption in the Brass Blades 4. Kan-E-Senna - she seems entirely content to leave her people at the mercy of elementals and isn’t doing NEAR enough to address racial inequality in Gridania

18. Does your WoL fully embrace their role as the WoL or do they try to remain humble? 

For the most part, they’re humble, but all of them are not afraid to use their titles/fame to get what they need or to make someone’s life better if they can do so. 

19. What do they think of the Heaven's Ward? 

The only ones they really got to know were the two that tried to condemn Alphinaud and Tataru for “heresy” and the one who attacked them when they were meeting with Hilda. Those were...not positive experiences. That, coupled with the fact that all of them willingly followed the Archbishop into summoning Primals into themselves pretty much sealed their opinion on the rest. 

20. Of all the places they've been to, which is their favorite? Do they like to go back there? 

Franks enjoys spending time in Ishgard, both because the manufactory is there and he enjoys collaborating with the other machinists and because he really enjoys working on the Restoration of the Firmament.

Rheika enjoys being in Mor Dhona and the Crystarium the most. It’s full of people all working together for the same end, and she’s happy being a part of it and doing her part to help.

Dahkar also loves Mor Dhona, but he’s found going back to the Far East oddly soothing. He feels a connection to the Azim Steppe, despite not really knowing what it means to live there, he wants to learn. 

Fearless has made Kugane her home, thanks in part to her one of her girlfriends living there and the other currently on an extended tour there as well. 

21. Are there any raid storylines (Ivalice, Coil of Bahamut, Werlyt, etc.) you consider to be canon for your WoL? Which ones don't you consider canon? 

I consider all of them to be canon, save potentially the NieR crossover alliance raids. Honestly, the entire story of that place just felt so odd and out of place that I didn’t really enjoy it, and I’m tempted just to say it didn’t happen. Everything else, though? Absolutely canonical.

22. Do you  have a unique tale for their job class or is it pretty much like what it is in the game?

Most of them are pretty much as they were in the game, though I have some personal headcanons on how Arcanima and the Paladin job work, the latter of which I’ve explored in one of my fics. The former will be somewhat explained in the current longform fic I’m working on.

23. Are there any side quest storylines that you're particularly fond of or think of as being canon to your WoL's experiences? 

Aside from the raids, alliance raids, and trial series, which 21 covered, I’d say all of the Beast tribe quests, the Scholasticate quests (which I suppose means Hildibrand has to be canon too), and most of the sidequesting in Sui-no-Sato are all canon experiences.

24. Does your WoL have any phobias? 

None of them have any real strange or irrational fears of note, not that I’ve been able to think of that make sense to the characters, anyway.

25. Do they have any habits or rituals that they do to soothe themselves? I.e. Playing with their hair, chewing their lip, fidgeting, etc. 

Franks will absentmindedly fidget with a tool or some spare parts. He’s actually built a small gadget that has some switches and buttons that do nothing for this purpose.

Rheika is restless and prefers to move while thinking. She tends to bounce a leg if she has to sit still too long.

Dahkar is pretty capable of concentrating without needing any kind of habit to aid in it.

Fearless tends to bottle it up until she can release it in private, either by meditating or dancing, depending on her level of anxiety and privacy expectations 

26. Do they suffer any traumas from any of their adventures? How do you foresee this affecting them going forward? 

Fearless was actually persuaded to pick of the Astrologian job thanks to the trauma of the banquet. She wanted to be able to predict anything that awful from happening to her and her friends again. 

LIkewise Dahkar was so traumatized by that (and the Braves’ betrayal), it was the final catalyst needed for him to be open to his Darkside and become a Dark Knight. He’s also the one most affected by Haurchefant’s death, and as I explained earlier, it’s subconsciously kept him from going after other romantic relationships

Rheika had nightmares about Tesleen for months, and they were made worse when she herself nearly became a sin eater. She practiced quick drawing her bow and hitting accurate long distance shots for a long time after that, wanting to be prepared to save someone from that kind of distance if she had to.

Franks has dealt with enough trauma in his previous life that a lot of what he’s seen on Hydaelyn doesn’t affect him as much as it otherwise might.

27. How did the events of Shadowbringers impact them? 

Rheika was the only one present for the events of 5.0, and my headcanon is that she wasn’t able to get home until after Hades was defeated. She felt alone and adrift without her fellow Warriors, and the trauma she endured did not help matters. Seeing them summoned to aid her was a balm on her soul, and when Franks figured out how to get the others to the First a little before the events of the Eden raid, she was overjoyed. 

28. Were they suspicious or open to Emet-Selch's presence when he first appeared? 

Rheika never believed he had good intentions. She always expected him to betray them at some point, but there didn’t seem to be much she COULD do before that happened. Even after he rescued Y’shtola, that was never enough for her trust. 

29. Did your WoL suspect anything was amiss with Urianger or the Crystal Exarch? Did they feel betrayed? Upset? When the truth finally emerged? 

Rheika immediately recognized G’raha Tia (”I mean he wasn’t even TRYING to change his voice!”), but she assumed there was a reason he was hiding from her, and she trusted Urianger’s vision. When the truth came out, she was angry about being lied to. She understood their reasoning, but threated to beat the crap out of both of them if they ever tried something like that again.

30. What was their highest point in Shadowbringers? Their lowest? What caused it? 

High point - ending Hades. Low Point - failing to save Tesleen

31. What were their first impressions of Hien? 

Aside from Rheika and Dahkar finding him very hot, they were all very impressed by his willingness to sacrifice his own life if his people chose not to fight any longer

32. Did they trust Asahi right away? Why or why not? 

Not right away, no. None of them are quick to trust Garlean officials, and Asahi felt way too slimy. None of them were all together surprised with how things turned out, save for when Maxima agreed to abide by the exchange after everything went south. 

33. How did they feel about what happened with Yotsuyu? Did they feel like she was justified in her actions? 

All of them felt bad for Yotsuyu’s horrible upbringing (and have made it VERY clear to Hien that he needs to make sure the new Doma does NOT allow for this to happen again), but accept that she made the choices she did and that ultimately, she needed to be stopped. 

34. Would you say your WoL is fundamentally a good person? Or are they a bad person that's been persuaded to do the right things? 

All of them are absolutely good people fundamentally. They know they’re the only ones that can fight the ridiculous battles they get into, and they’re okay with doing it, because ultimately, they want to save lives. 

35. How do they feel about the fact that they've killed a lot of people and/or things?

They all understand that for every life they have to take, it means more are safe, sound, and happy down the road. All of their choices are made with that goal in mind. 

[cannotgiveafuck]

Billy Batson & Captain Marvel identity analysis (long post ahead)

Alrighty then! So I contemplated posting this bc it's so closely tied to the wip fic, buuuut here it is. Ive never been really satisfied with how some media portray this character bc they either lean too far towards childish or angry, or divide the identities too much. And whilst writing the fic I thought about how I wanted to portray him and what that entailed. A long semi comprehensive ramble of headcanons and character analysis based on the individual and combined identities of Billy and Marvel!

First, we have Billy. This kid who's parents died on a work trip, was left in the care of a greedy/selfish old man that did not care for him at all, has bounced through foster homes for a plethora of reasons (some of which are behavioral or abusive), and ultimately decided trying to make it on the streets was his best option (before being picked up by Dudley).

Now, backstory wise, it's all very obvious that Billy would have trust issues, especially towards adults (and double towards adults who try to control him). His learned attitude towards those that set their eyes on him (both before and especially after becoming Marvel) is guarded and aggressively defensive, he's snarky and sarcastic, ready to flee at a moments notice, and scared of being once again used, abused, and tossed aside if he were to trust someone. But at his soft core he desperately wants to be cared for, he wants affection and love and family, he wants a safe and secure home, he wants to believe in good.

All of this bleeds into his attitude towards his peers, too. Before becoming Marvel, he's a bit jaded and lost - his wrecked home life creating the chasm that keeps him from opening up and relating to others, from making real friends (the few exceptions being friends he considers family, and whom he is very loyal and protective of). After Marvel, Billy doesn't even try to associate with kids his own age. He stops going to school and is so focused on trying to be a good hero, he has distanced himself even more. But also, all the situations that he is exposed to really matures him. He still enjoys video games and sports, but he's also worrying about keeping Fawcett City and the world safe and working with JL - he doesn't have time nor patience for naive and clueless kids. But since he still is a kid and wants to have fun, those he let's in he holds onto and divulges everything to.

However, despite his hard outer shell, I do believe Billy is good and tries to be good and wants to see the good in those around him. A prominent and reoccurring memory of his parents is them telling him to be a good kid. That very much shapes Billy's views and ideologies. He wants to be a good person, which means he needs to help others (however he sees fit, from stopping bullies to carrying an old ladys groceries), but also realize that there is good all around him in everyone else, too. He has kind neighbors, and a community that helps each other, he knows everyone has their own struggles and they may direct negative emotions outward but may just need a helping hand in return. Billy knows suffering and cruelty and does not want to cause that, he wants to end it. So, theres this conflict inside him that he views as being smart vs being good. His true sunshine and trusting demeanor is boosted when he is chosen by Shazam, because now he has this divine and worldly responsibility to do and be good. And while he does not hold value in himself (abandoned and abused orphan does not hold a high confidence or self esteem level), he also wants to prove that he is worthy of inheriting this power, that there is good in this world and in him.

Now, second we have Captain Marvel. This is where identities become...complicated. The way I see it, Marvel is a mesh of 'Billy Batson', 'The Potential Adult Billy Could Be', and 'The Vessel of The Greek Gods Powers'. Since I've gone over Billy's identity, it transfers onto Marvel pretty seamlessly. So as The Adult Billy, he is still Billy Batson, but the grown up version, comfortable in his skin and in social standings with others, he is without the limiting physiological responses and capabilities of being a child. Despite all his experiences, Billy is still a kid - a bit awkward in his growing body, he's impulsive with his emotional responses, he jumps to conclusions and is very one track minded, has a hard time putting words to thoughts or instincts and understanding certain things and intentions (situations being very black and white). But as Adult Billy who is Marvel, he still sees through the same eyes, but he can filter distractions and pause to think through reflexive emotions, and he has a better understanding on just how morally grey the world can be, a gained clarity on other intentions and livelihoods, and he can empathize and read other's emotions in more detail than just the basic happy/mad/sad. Basically, Billy's brain has physically grown to that of an adult.

On the other hand, there is also what I like to believe is a...sort of third will in what makes Captain Marvel. He is, for all intents and purposes, a vessel or an avatar of sorts. He is a Chosen Champion by the Wizard Shazam to wield the powers of the Greek Gods (specifically the Greek gods, bc...well, that's a whole other post to ramble on), hes the mortal connection between them and the human world, their gift to the humans as a protector, as the guiding light of good. He is a symbol and title beyond one person. It is much like the mantle of Batman being passed on, except instead of all the gadgets and tech and databases...it's experiences and memories and wisdom gained by the previous Marvels, and available when properly called upon. Captain Marvel is like a reincarnation every time there is a new chosen champion. Billy is himself, but there were also others before him, other Marvels that existed and lived that can be remembered.

There is, however, a weird side effect to this being that the more in touch and immersed with these previous Marvel's he becomes, the more he slips away from himself - less Billy and human, more ancient and disconnected. He loses Billy's mannerisms and speech pattern and warm empathy, he still follows the ideology of good, but the charisma is gone, he's distant and cold.

All of this makes for a very interesting and fun way of writing Marvel and Billy - in how they each think through situations, how they each interact with the same people, how they each react to everything. And that's including how the same people react and treat each of them differently. Someone may see and treat Billy as a kid, but with Marvel they interact with and see an adult, a peer. When someone knows who Marvel really is, they need to consciously remind themselves that Marvel is Billy is a kid, because literally everything about Marvel screams at their senses that he's an adult (sunshine naivety aside). He still walks and talks and looks and is capable of thinking like an adult. It's not a situation of a couple of kids standing on top of each other in a trenchcoat or a kid dressing and doing their makeup like an adult. Magic has made him an adult, sort of.

At the core of it, the one experiencing and remembering and feeling everything is a child. There is no separating that, he is a different face of the same coin. So while Marvel can handle the emotional and mental exhaustion and stress of the situations he is put in, Billy Batson is going to suffer through the replays when everything is done. Because superheroing is not all saving lives and being praised, it's seeing people be hurt and bleed, interacting with the worst of humanity and others, witnessing tragedies and death in small intimate encounters and in large numbers. He is the one that will have nightmares and trouble sleeping, he is the one that will bear the brunt of the trauma and remorse, navigating detailed memories of violence and how it felt to hurt, wondering why there are phantom pains and aches when his body is not damaged, all with no trusted support system to turn to (because if he does, will the JL just see him as a child who cannot handle being a hero? will they turn him away?). Billy is the one having his childhood and innocence ripped away from him for the sake of the world. There are consequences of being the chosen champion, and while Billy is willing to accept them, will continue to fight and uphold his divine duties, will put others before himself every time, it wont make be easy.

The potential of how complicated Billy and Marvel can be, and how other heroes cannot fully comprehend it without a trusted in depth discussion (only Black Adam can understand and lemme tell you, that's a hot mess) - that's what makes him and his situation so interesting and fun to write.

[ivytorn-blog1]

LANA CONDOR, CIS-WOMAN, SHE/HER, HUNTER   /   deep in the pacific northwest lives IVY MAI LE. i heard they’ve been living there for four years and last saw them hanging around the rough draft, i think they might’ve been pouring drinks while listening in on conversations. at twenty two years old, ivy doesn’t look a day over twenty two. everyone around here always associates them with leather bound books, hidden in the back of the shelf; scars beneath delicate flowers and patterns in ink-covered skin; and the final sharp inhale before one tells a deadly secret. hope they enjoy their stay ! ( cami, gmt, she/her, 19 )

TW: DEATH, BLOOD, SCARS, SELF-HARM (or sorts)

I.

a family of refugees, the le had a long established reputation back home as the brave protectors of mankind, nomads stopping at every village and small town to valiantly step into the darkness and return with a token of the evil ailing the populace. with very little collaboration with other hunting families, they kept extensive tracks of lore, written and verbal, passed down through generations - thus, the accounts they now possess are a mix of superstition, old wisdom and rare experiences. it is well known that if a hunter is looking for out-of-the-box ways to defeat a target, the le’s knowledge might be of use. 

ivy is part of the first generation of her family to be born in the united states, their new hunting ground since the 1960s. for the most part, they’d stuck together, leaving only to marry into other families or to join prestigious groups. their status had carried over to their new country, and their skills only consolidated the fact that the le were a family one would wish to keep as close friends within the hunting community. 

born on the 17th of december, 1976, in modesto, california - but soon the moving began. the le carried a philosophy of self-protection and search for better targets, one that involved moving at least once a year, hopefully with no tracks behind to be followed. staying for a few months, every family member who was able to work did, gathering funds for the next expeditions and better gear. to reach a le, one had to actively search for them. 

this led to ivy having no formal education. under the official guise of homeschooling, she, her siblings and cousins learned the basics of mundane education: writing, reading, easy maths. everything else was done in a militaristic setting and specialized in the trade they’d pick up as soon as they were deemed ready. survival skills, botany, lore, interrogation, fighting, shooting. nurturing friendships outside of he family was a hard task, but ivy was up for it anyway (mostly during the final weeks of being in the same location, when the house felt too small and her cousins too annoying,and she sported a bleeding nose from fighting her siblings). the instinct to look to the outside world was always there, even if just as relief from the suffocation of her family. however, she’d eventually be on the move, and never allowed to send letters or telephone anyone afterwards. 

ivy was the classical middle child. with two older brothers and two younger siblings, she was often found trying to sneak into the back of the trucks leaving for hunting missions, because if miles, only 6 years older, could accompany the grown ups, so should she. in other occasions, she played the role of the instructor, throwing knives with the youngest, assuming herself the leader of the family, the great wise one - of course, until there was blood and crying and she was grounded. other times, though, she was hidden behind doors, listening to conversations she wished to take part in, but never close enough to be allowed to. a constant feeling of being on the edge of proving her greatness, but never seen enough for that. one such occasion came at the time to flee to oregon. 

her family has been focusing on werewolves for the past 15 years, ever since a particularly bad encounter left a few relatives dead ingruesome ways. they will hunt everything else, even if that means they must join forces with other groups for better results, but werewolves have become quite the specialization. eight years ago, down in southern california, the family began a war they did not intend to wage by angering a particularly big pack with what was considered brutal unjust killings. the le found themselves as the targets, in a mess most other hunters refused to touch out of their own preservation - instead, they help set up routes for the le to leave, far away from the pack. pride got in the way, but all that bravado wouldn’t make winning any easier - only when the eldest son, miles, only twenty years old, was violently murdered did the family pack up.

II.

miles was a promising hunter, nearly as skilled with a gun as his father - but then it was all gone. the family had to regroup, grieve and, above all, reestablish their image. 

up until then, ivy had already begun going on missions (simply watching when she was ten, helping at twelve, full member of the team by fourteen) but it all changed after miles’ death. the narrative wasn’t that their children weren’t well protected, but rather that they were unprepared. when they handed her six year old cousin a knife and rope, she understood. the new goal was to make them not impressive soldiers but the best, as soon as possible. there was no space for slip-ups.

ivy’s mother has a reputation especially for interrogations. in order to grow their lore books or purely to get information on other targets, her mother came in with a bag full of flasks and tools - and young ivy had always shown interest for that. not exactly the violence of torture, although she quickly grew desensitized to it. the stories that came out of their targets’ mouths, however, were fascinating, small windows into the world of the supernatural. so she stayed, listened, asked questions sometimes, and slowly began performing the incentives as well. they tell her she has a future in that, a great interrogator. the thought makes her stomach restless: imagine all the knowledge she can amass. imagine all the things she’ll be able to ask when it’s just her interrogating, no one else in the room to supervise her work, much less her words, her excitement over the tales of her victims. 

despite that, the le are not within the most ruthless of hunting families. they believe in a strict moral code of balancing plates - all supernatural creatures are inherently evil (if they are not, it simply means they are fighting their natural urges to be so, and thus their goodness is an unstable state) and so, hunters like them are meant to kill off threats to the neutrality of the world by getting rid of some evil. they won’t kill someone purely because they are a supernatural., but will mistrust them, and likely keep track of them for a few days to make sure they can’t find any current (or past) transgressions. however, taking those lives should bring consequences to the hunters themselves - this, of course, ignoring the fucked up mentality/indoctrination this leaves them in, and things like ptsd, but they certainly don’t care about it. in order to keep that delicate balance, for every life a le takes, they mark their own skin with a dash, letting it bleed, hurt, and at last scar. they are both used as a sign of pride, members showing off their deformed skin with glee, and as a moral tally, keeping hunters from going on mass killings that are not justified.

things have, however, grown much more brutal since miles’ death. the incentive to grow that tally is stronger than ever, and the justifications for missions are simpler and simpler. 

III.

in oregon, they moved even more, until four years ago. arcane falls was alluring for its established community of supernaturals AND hunters, a dangerous game of cat and mouse right under their nose. ivy still lives with the rest of the family in a big house down a dead lane, the only other house in view being a decaying old one (that, of course, the entire family had already explored for safety and the hopes of finding something wicked in there). everyone took up little jobs, and ivy continues to expand her resume in bartending, now pouring drinks at the rough draft, where she keeps her ears open (even if a lot of the information she gathers turns into missions for her elders or teaching experiences for the younger ones) 

arcane falls is a bit of a dream for ivy. she’s so close to all these different beings, even serving some in the bar. a chatty bartender type, some of what she hears is not intel for missions, but rather knowledge for her own gain. here she’s been able to keep her eyes open for a hidden pleasure of hers: magic.

books inside carved books, ivy has been keeping lots of information on the supernatural - nothing that’s of use in tracking them down and killing them, but rather in understanding them, their powers and skills, the beauty of the terrifying dark they inhabit. magic, especially, is a secret vice. she’s just purely in love with the concept of breaking the laws of everything that is real and truly loses all the cynicism in her when she sees it. but it’s a terrible sin no one shall know.

she still hasn’t achieved the greatness she knows she’s capable of. in fact, ivy knows she hasn’t even had a chance to prove that she’s half as good as she claims to be. she hasn’t brought home any major token, hasn’t conducted any great interrogations, everything feels like she’s just holding her breath right now, so close to everything but not there yet. 

not having gotten her chance also leaves her on a particularly bellicose edge. it sees she’s a powderkeg always about to explode, and the smallest of thigns set off that anger she’s been building up for years - ready to anger, ready to start a fight, ready to self-destruct when outwardly destruction is not possible. 

she’s begun covering up her scars with tattoos, much to the dismay of her family. she claims it’s to not cause a scene at work once others see her arms and connect it to the le reputation; after all, her shoulders and upper arms are getting pretty crowded. delicate flowers and weeds are intertwined with the scars, collapsing into geometrical patterns closer to her neck, and she plans on getting more. much more. 

ivy is also a casual hunter?? sports hunting. forest survivalism. she enjoys pushing herself and self-training. the rush of being a predator, even if the moral consequences are harder to grasp.

this young lady loves playing with knives way too much. keeps a pocket hunting one with her at all times, of course, but truly enjoys swinging it around for fun, throwing, pretending to chop some fingers off just to giggle at the reactions around her. most things she does are in search of a certain rush like this. 

character parallels: erik killmonger, kate bishop, stefan salvatore, rosa diaz, bobbi morse, derek hale,sabrina spellman, tish walker, penny adiyodi, jace wayland, billy kaplan, raven reyes, julia wicker, annabeth chase,meera reed, sam winchester, isaac lahey, idk more help

PINTEREST to come soon oops

hmu for plots and such pls !!

[tashyrasvoice]

Re: Black Friday Blues, Small Business Sadness, Cyber Monday Madness

I know, I know. You see everyone else promoting their Black Friday blowouts, Small Business Saturday sales and Cyber Monday discounts, and you’re wondering why your business, product or service wasn’t “ready” to go. I’ve been there; one reason or another I’ve been there. You are not alone. I want to talk to those who are hiding in the shadows of everyone else’s booming business, and social media success. You may even be purchasing from these hard-working entrepreneurs all the while regretting that you weren’t prepared enough to sell-out of your top product. You may be wondering why the investors didn’t commit, why the product didn’t do the numbers you projected, why your family doesn’t support, why you second-guessed yourself, why you didn’t believe in your own dream…sooner. I know I’m not alone in thinking the aforementioned at one point or another. Perhaps it was because your goals weren’t clear, or if they were you didn’t develop AND follow your plan. Whatever the reason; face it. Deal with it. Embrace it. Learn from it. Then, let it go. That’s the only way to grow. Between the weeds, behind the smile, the manipulated media are women everywhere suffering through the swamp of success that leads to personal fulfillment. It’s not an easy task and I’ve come to learn that networks, teams and a tribe is not only necessary for the physical labor (shopping, packaging, etc), but its necessary for the mental taunting that entrepreneurship brings as you ride an emotional roller coaster of trial & error on your way to mastery. Year after year I found myself not trusting in my own skill or my gut decision and unique abilities to stick with something to the point of mastery. Year after year I invested time, money and energy into people and things that would not and could not deposit anything valuable back into me, my business or growth goals. What I didn’t realize at the time is that they were getting more out of my natural abilities, pruned by experience and some success, but my second-guessing blinded my priceless contributions. My contributions exceeded their title, age, and bank accounts. For varying reasons, I wasn’t ready. It could have “just not been the right time”, but ultimately I wasn’t ready. In some aspects, I’m grateful that I didn’t step out completely ill-prepared, and other times I wondered often what life would have been like had I believed. I’m multi-talented, so my attention was on multiple things, simultaneously without much room to focus on mastering one. But, these are my reasons, what are yours? That is not a rhetorical question. What we must realize is that our reality is not the reality of those we loathe on social media. I had to face the fact that having my son at 14, loosing my Mother 5 years later, and finding myself responsible for raising my son and younger brother while attempting to get a degree and work a sufficient job were the facts of my life that I didn’t necessarily plan or prepare for. But I carried on. I preserved beyond what some would call obstacles and started businesses, hosted radio shows, produced celebrity events, covered televised awards shows, covered the NFL Draft, worked with the Super Bowl, worked in corporate America, pursued higher degrees, traveled the country, relocated, travel to other countries, spoke in London and Amsterdam, produced audio books, and yet I did not have a product, skill or service that I sold or promoted on Black Friday, or did I??? My plan was to have available the extended version of my eBook “3 Ways to Make Money Using Your Voice”, release Volume II of this book dedicated to podcasters and to pre-sell a book of short-stories that talked about me being a teen Mom. I have the context because it’s the life that I lived. I wrote the content and it’s currently (as I type) in draft mode on my laptop. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t force a release because it was Black Friday, Small Business Saturday or Cyber Monday. I wouldn’t rush to print, and promote just because it’s the thing to do. This time. I’ve done that in the past…rushed. Not realizing I hadn’t stuck with a plan, saw it all the way through to get to a point in my progression that I would see measurable results without rushing. It blew my mind. With my experience, exposure, travel and an extended resume, why did seeing it through seem impossible??? It wasn’t impossible. And that wasn’t the right question. The question was: “Why did seeing it through when it came to MY goals, seem impossible??” That’s the million-dollar question. I ask you the same. As many factors contribute to why you weren’t / aren’t ready, I’m here to challenge you with the one important part of this question that can only be answer introspectively. Why when it comes to “YOUR GOALS” do you not see them through; procrastinate; delay?? Again, not a rhetorical question but one that needs answering. You see, the products have been ready and the audience in wait, but my collective capacity had to match the energy of what I produced. My preparation needed to have an end goal, a direction, a target. Forbes.com published that a 2015 study on fear and entrepreneurship, fear is actually a major psychological barrier to most business leaders, as it can prevent them from taking necessary risks for their success. 

Fear is a major factor in these entrepreneur streets - a bigger factor that what we may want to admit. Fear of failing, fear of being rejected, fear of not having the capital we need, fear, fear, fear…all self-sabotage. Here are some of my tips to overcoming entrepreneurs’ entrapment: 1. Keep your mind on things above. Shift your thinking upward and keep your God-given purpose in the forefront. This will help with maintaining a positive mindset even when noone is clapping for you. 2. Trust yourself. Trust the God that is within and listen to that part of you. Keep it fed. 3. Surround yourself with people with similar and elevated mindsets. Having people on your level is one thing, but having people who are where you strive to be that challenge your thought-pattern makes you level-up. 4. Create a plan, and make adjustments often. A lot of times people create a plan and are so dedicated they do not see the need to make adjustments based on industry needs, trends, market shifts or just being flexible enough to bend as needed. 5. Press past how you feel. Don’t think that you’re going to “feel like it” everyday, because you won’t. Press pass how you feel, but embrace the fact that these days or moments will come. It’s natural. 6. Be realistic. Everyday may not seem like a good day, but everyday that you have a chance to get it right, is a good day. 7. REST. I’m not a believer or a fan of “team no sleep”. Yes, you may have long nights and early mornings, it comes with the territory. However to deny yourself, you mind, body and spirit the adequate rest it needs to function at its peak is not wisdom, nor does it make you a better business person. It mays you a tired one. Clear minds, creative concepts and innovative ideas come from a rested entrepreneur. 8. Challenge your challenges. Don’t ignore them…those things that seem like roadblocks when in all actuality they are moments putting you on pause. Embrace that time and let it work in your favor. We need to be challenged to test our fortitude, increase our grit, and to really see if we’re about this entrepreneur life. Smartly determine if this challenge is meant to tell you to stop, pause, or shift 9. Don’t give up. Even if you stop to recollect yourself; don’t give up. 10. PRAY!!!!!!!! Black Friday, Small Business Saturday and Cyber Mondays are dates on the calendar. Should you not be ready on either of these days, but find that the second week in December, first week in January, or the third Monday in June is the best date for your business or new product release, you do what’s best for you. If you’re like me, you like to tie-in releases, launches and announcements with special dates, anniversaries and connect it to a profound purpose. But, let’s face it, that day can be very day. So, stop the comparisons outside of market research, and tap into what is best for your business. This includes the personal and professional factors that are impacted by the moves you make. In light of the biggest retail weekend of the year, I want you to remember that you’re not alone in thinking “I should have…!” or “Why didn’t I…?” Understand this: if you didn’t stick with a plan throughout the year, but attempted to cram and rush release of product this weekend, you’re not going to reap the rewards of proper planning and execution. You will reap rewards of rushing to fit in a weekend you were prepared for. You will loose valuable time, and not gain valuable profits. Instead, focus the end of this year on introspective insights and revisit your business by revisiting why you started. Don’t get caught-up in a day of the week. Stay focused on removing things that make you weak. “Remember you’re an heir. Be royal.”

Tashyra Ayers

[personalcoachingcenter]

Power Tool: Know Thyself vs. Self-Sabotage

New Post has been published on https://personalcoachingcenter.com/power-tool-know-thyself-vs-self-sabotage/

Power Tool: Know Thyself vs. Self-Sabotage

A Coaching Power Tool Created by Athina Tsellou (Health & Wellness Coach, GREECE)

The unexamined life is not to be lived. Socratic dictum

Know Thyself:

The phrase Know Thyself is an English translation of the Greek dictum ΓΝΩΘΙ ΣΕ ΑΥΤΟΝ which means to know oneself and was inscribed in stone above the Ancient Greek Temple of Apollo at Delphi. For the Greek philosopher, Socrates self-knowledge requires self-examination, but not in a sense that would come most naturally to contemporary readers. Instead, self-examination, as understood by Socrates, requires investigating, through debate and dialogue, the contours of concepts that seem necessary for living a good life: knowledge, justice, virtue, piety, and the like. His wisdom laid on understanding the limits of his knowledge ending up with the fact that he knows nothing about anything. Other philosophers like Thomas Hobbes believed that if you wish to understand other people you need to introspect. By observing your thoughts, feelings, and desires you can understand yourself and others as well. Later on, in the 19th century, Sigmund Freud brings up the power of unconscious forces that motivate our behaviors. Knowing ourselves has been an area of study and still constitutes one of the biggest challenges in our lives at least for those who have the desire to seek it.

Following this desire I came up with the following two essential points around self-knowledge according to Krishnamurti:

“To know oneself is to study oneself in action, which is a relationship”

“Self-knowledge arises when we are aware of ourselves in the relationship, which shows what we are from moment to moment. The relationship is a mirror in which we see ourselves as we really are.”

It is in the mirror of the relationships that our imperfections stand out and this allows us to see our strengths and weaknesses. Usually, when we think of a person who is trying to gain wisdom of himself we imagine monks or people who spend most of the time by themselves. What is the value of that if it is not tested under the crash test of the relationship? Self-knowledge depends on the perception of ourselves, and this requires sensitivity. A sensitivity to everything and everyone, devoid of thought and judgment. It’s about just noticing our characteristics without trying to change them. And it is by perceiving ourselves through our sensitivity that we have the chance to do differently not only ourselves but with the people with whom we relate. Only when we interact with others when we are connected with our loved ones we can react or respond in ways that may show us who we are. Especially in relationships where our ego is minimized, for instance with our children, we have the chance to experience self-awareness which leads to self-knowledge.

2.“Self-knowledge is not an end in itself. Is there a source for a river? Every drop of water creates the river from beginning to end.” Self-knowledge has no end – you don’t come to an achievement, you don’t conclude. It is an endless river. And as one studies it, as one goes into it more and more, one finds peace.

Self-Sabotage:

Self-sabotage is when you undermine your own goals and values.

Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems in daily life and interferes with long-standing goals. Common types of self-sabotage involve procrastination and perfectionism and are occasionally met in relationships, work, finances, time, and change. Although you try to make changes and disrupt these patterns, somehow you end up in the same place, again and again. If this sounds familiar, you could be sabotaging yourself. Self–sabotage refers to behaviors or thought patterns that hold you back and prevent you from doing what you want to do. Why would someone set a goal that really wants to achieve and work towards sabotaging his-her own plan at the same time? Because we are misled by “self-protection”. We raise all these “BUTS” that seem to be protecting us from failure, mistakes, pain, etc. Here are just three common examples of people who are stuck on their BUTS :

“I’d exercise and eat right, BUT I just don’t have the time.”

“I’d quit smoking, BUT I’m too stressed out.”

“I’d ask that girl out, BUT what if she rejects me?”

It seems so simple to put a dot before those “BUTS” and move forward. So why do we punish ourselves?

Self-Application:

So check in yourself. Pay attention and recognize these mental blogs every time they talk to you through your thoughts. Go deep and observe them. Do they belong to you? Are they true? What is behind them?

Fear:                           

One of the biggest barriers that all people have to overcome is fear. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of change. Fear of success. Fear of making decisions. Fear of responsibility. Fear of commitment. It is fear (and all of its cousins, such as worry, anxiety, depression, and self-doubt) that will turn your dream of success into a chilling nightmare that haunts you into paralysis.

Negative Belief Barriers:

“I’m too old.”

“I’m too young.”

“There’s never enough time.”

“Love hurts.”

“There are no good men left,”

“I don’t deserve that.”

As we grow up we become experts in using all these excuses to keep ourselves inside our comfort zone where we think we feel safe. Most of the time our expertise is so delicate that we don’t even recognize them as such. It is because these beliefs gain roots in our minds so deep that they turn from thoughts to facts. And as we grow we tend to accept these facts as true statements automatically without examining them. What if we step back next time we have such a thought and simply ask: “Is it true?”.

Watch What You Say to Yourself!:

Words hold the power to destroy, but they also hold the power to create. This is because words do more than define our experiences. In many cases they actually create them.

Like good parents of demanding two-year-olds, we need to take control and start parenting our inner voice. Would you talk to your child or best friend the way you some- times talk to yourself? I don’t think so.

If we catch ourselves saying mean things to ourselves— “You’re too fat! No one will ever love you! You can’t do anything right!”—we have to intervene and say, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m just a little [tired, scared, over- whelmed] right now.” Apologizing to ourselves is a foreign concept, but it’s necessary. We must respect ourselves. Practice talking to yourself the way you would talk to a best friend, a mentor, or someone you really look up to.

Choose our Connections Wisely:

As we mentioned before the people we choose to connect with becoming our mirrors. There is a greek dictum that says “Show me your friend to tell you who you are”. The moment our mind is self-sabotaging us we don’t need other people’s voices to enhance and empower all these “BUTs” that keep us back from our actions. Instead, we need people that will set an example of courage through their shared vulnerability, friends that will share positive feedback dressed with pure love to help us find out more things about ourselves. And of course, this works vice-versa. And that is a crucial point. Because sometimes our self-sabotage voices come exactly from perspectives that we have built around our kindness and behaviors to our friends that if we observe them they may not serve our goals whatsoever.

It is our choice:

What a great power to realize that it is completely in our hands to stop self-sabotage! No external authority is needed so we just need to get ownership of the situation and act. And exactly because of that we don’t have any excuses. The more we observe and learn ourselves the better we distinguish our inner voice from useless thoughts. The more we get connected with the child inside us the more we act. We remember how it was to fall and try again and again until we managed to walk. Thank God without “BUTs”, excuses and insecurities.

Coaching Application:

Self-awareness and self-knowledge are being important parts of the coaching journey. The more you get to know your values, your strengths, and the beliefs that serve you at the moment the more you distinguish when your thoughts are sabotaging your change. And as a result, the more you stop following them the more you strengthen your inner voice like a muscle that has been working out.

Address fears:

Fear is only deep as the mind allows. Japanese proverb

When fear is not illusioned by the mind it is a gift given by nature to protect us from danger. It works like an alarm system when we are threatened or at a risk. When did that change and fear become one of the most important problems in societies today?

Why do people allow this gift to negatively control their actions, their beliefs, and ultimately their lives? Well, it has a lot to do with making a distinct difference between reacting to fear and acting in fear. It has everything to do with your belief system, what your beliefs are about fear, and what you have been conditioned to believe.

Address underlying beliefs:

The only difference between a thought (which really doesn’t have much power over you) and a belief (which has total control over you) is this: a belief is a thought you’ve convinced yourself is true. In other words . . .

A belief is just a thought that you’ve made real.

Finding out with the customers which beliefs support their goals and working on the ones that get in the way is a part of the coaching partnership.

Using tools and assessments to support self-knowledge and minimize self-sabotage:

There are plenty of tools that can be used to support the customer to see clearly the strengths and values that drive their thoughts and behaviors. Also, we are grateful that nowadays we can easily reach various tests of behaviors and personalities that can give the name and cause various actions and aspects of ourselves. Furthermore, the use of visualization is a power tool for overcoming the thoughts of self-sabotage by a “fast-forward movement “that brings to light the feelings, the state of mind, and the new conditions strongly enough to fuel our way towards the wishful goal or change. That is based on a relatively well-known fact that we stimulate the same brain regions when we visualize the action and when we actually perform that same action.

Strategic Questioning:

Questions that promote thinking outside the box can be the key to moving forward. While we self-talks we usually repeat the same dialogues and follow the same vicious circles that drain our energy and steal our time without providing any creativity or movement forward. When the coach asks a question that stops these predictable chains the mind opens and creates a new path to our thinking. And that is the first step of a new action.

The Choice formula:

This formula is really simple and is the starting point of any action we need to take.

W>S

Will stands for W and Self-sabotage for S. every time we decide to change a habit, create a new one or take action on something in our life it is wise to sit a bit on that formula and check on which side we stand. Coaching can provide the space of trust where we can use the eyes of our inner self and see truly if our will is strong enough to support our action and if not to go deep enough and with kindness accept it or not. This deep dive inside to check this choice formula is done with the necessary precautions with a coach but the choice of experiencing where we stand in this equation is totally in the customer’s hands.

One last thing:

Allow me to leave you with this parting piece of wisdom.

Mentor “When does a person learn something?”

Client “When they retain the information they set forth to absorb.”

“Wrong,” the mentor replied. “Learning doesn’t occur until the behavior has changed. As long as you know something intellectually but you have yet to put it into practice, you haven’t learned it at all.”

Whoa!

References and inspirational readings:

ICA Power tools

“Get off your But” by Sean Stephenson

“Conquer Fear” by Lisa Gimenez

“Know Thyself- The Value and Limits of self-knowledge” by Mitchell S.Green

https://jkrishnamurti.org/

https://medium.com/@nicolas.rufino/

Self-Sabotage: Why You Do It and How to Stop for Good

Original source: https://coachcampus.com/coach-portfolios/power-tools/athina-tsellou-know-thyself-vs-self-sabotage/

[ecotone99]

[MF] Spirit Chapter 1 by Richard Pargass

(Hello internet this is the first chapter of a series I was inspired to write, I hope some people like it)

SPIRIT

The sharp winter air cut through the pervading silence of Hayabusa National Park, silencing Riku’s mind with a sudden jolt of intense chill. The extreme temperatures offered a brief respite from the torturous thoughts that plagued him. His body was now in survival mode, shivering intensely in a feeble attempt to warm itself. His thin skater hoodie and jeans, insufficient to provide the warmth it needed.

The events of the day kept replaying in his mind: the shouting, the arguing, the crying and the horrible depression that followed. His only escape was the park. Midday seemed like it had just passed, but the flickering shadows of the beech and fir tree branches, dancing in the dim light of the park lamps announced the arrival of night.

Riku sat at the bottom of the giant stone bleachers in the centre of the park, a massive oval shaped fish pond lay across from them, past the well trodden dirt path and across the bank of grass separating them. Surrounding the central pool was a multitude of winding paths, dim street lights and endless trees, a beautiful, calming place, the only place in fact where Riku could compose himself after the usual routine of family dysfunction. It had become a daily occurrence.

At 17 years old he cut a gangly figure, just coming out of the awkward teenage growth spurt, the park light not revealing his freckled light brown skin tone, nor the piercing green eyes that no matter how you looked at them, seemed to reveal a wisdom beyond the years of any 17 year old. However, to the well seasoned observer, one could detect a hint of constant anxiety, the dark storm brewing evermore in his soul.

‘’When did this all start?’’ Riku thought to himself. Growing up without a father had left a void in his soul, an open wound that just would not heal. He saw pictures of his Dad, a dusty blond haired, shrewd faced man, pointy nose and deep creases in his forehead, revealing years of apparent stress.

But pictures never helped anyone Riku thought, pictures never helped the constant alcohol that his older sister brought home, drowning in perpetual sorrow after another gruelling day at her cubicle job. When Riku’s mom had passed away shortly after he was born, his father left shortly after, leaving his then 15 year old sister in charge.

She loved Riku; but over time darkness ensnared her heart in a cruel, inescapable net. Chaos and turmoil was the regular atmosphere at home. Being the younger Riku had to bear the full brunt of this, day in and day out, ever since it started at around 10 years old. Constant arguments and endless hurling insults. But through it all, deep down in what was left of his already shattered heart, Riku was helpless in feeling nothing but love for his sister, and his only wish was to help her, but with his already turbulent life he often felt overwhelmed, overshadowed and inadequate.

As he sat on the giant stone steps, oddly comfortable for nothing but worn out concrete, he knew he couldn’t go back to this life one second more. ‘’What do I do? What can I do?’’ he anguished. The winter wind suddenly picked up, a mixture of brown and white as the remnants of Autumn leaves and snow intertwined.

The wind got stronger and stronger, Riku was a bit alarmed now. Out of nowhere, a sound resembling the howling cry of lost souls penetrated the night. Riku suddenly fell into a trance, he felt as though the wind was talking to him. He could feel a presence in it, something much bigger than him, much greater than his mind could comprehend. Riku was never a religious or spiritual type of person but he certainly had no idea of what this feeling could possibly be.

The wind grew stronger and stronger, hurricane force speeds could have been clocked for all he knew. ‘’This is it, I’m going to die’’ he thought. At first he kept his calm, as part of him wanted dearly to depart this earth, to leave all the turmoil behind. An image of his sister flashed in his mind, the soft brown eyes, delicate eyelashes and pink floral patterned summer dress that she wore during happier times came to the forefront of his mind. Panic ensued, “I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE HER YET’’ was the new, dominant thought, surging through him, but the wind did not stop. Picking up in force by the second, the howling became a deafening roar, a cacophony of confusion, sadness, leaves and snow surrounded him. Then, silence.

Sand. Heat. Two things polar opposite to the sensations he experienced a moment before. Riku opened his eyes, and what he saw floored him.

A massive flat, sprawling desert lay in front of him, a ray of sunlight shimmering and dancing in the red sand. The sand itself was soft, with a texture reminiscent to silt, not like beach sand. Riku was in the same position as he was on the stone bleachers, only now he knew two things. One: the profuse sweat dripping down his face and the grainy feel of sand under his pants meant he wasn’t dreaming, and two: he wasn’t in Japan anymore.

Riku suddenly noticed he wasn’t directly in the sun’s brutal rays, for what seemed miles in front of him lay a massive shadow resembling a tree extending almost ominously, and Riku found himself directly in its shade.

He turned around, and what greeted his eyes left him speechless, not that he was saying anything in the first place, but a fitting description nonetheless of the absolute awe-inspiring object in front of him. It was a massive Cryptomeria tree, 100 times bigger than Jōmon Sugi (縄文杉) the biggest cryptomeria or Yakusugi tree in Japan. It was at least 20000 metres high, with an extremely thick trunk, akin to multiple suits of armour stacked one on the other.

It’s jutting branches climbed high into the brilliant blue sky, and from Riku’s position he could barely see the summit, so tall was this otherworldly tree.

‘’Stand!’’ a deep voice barked. Riku jumped up in surprise. He quickly turned around to see an old man, his flowing white hair and silver beard fluttering in the wind. The man’s face had no distinguishable features, except one thing, his eyes were completely white, devoid of any iris or pupils.

“Who.. who are you?’’ Riku asked quaveringly.

“I am all that has come to pass and will come to pass, I am night and I am day, I am the end and the beginning,’’ answered the old man.

Still utterly bewildered by the whole situation, this ambiguous response was of no help to Riku.

“Look old man, I’m in a bad mood, I don’t have time for silly riddles.’’ snapped Riku.

The old man, wearing nothing but grey robes, produced what looked like a wooden training sword or ‘bokken’ and threw it in front of Riku. “Attack me.’’ he said.

Riku stared at him. “This guy is mentally ill or something ‘’ he thought, ‘’what is he going on about, attack him?’’

Riku stood still, not daring to move. Before he could utter another word he found he was gasping for breath, as if an invisible hand was crushing his windpipe, increasing in strength with every passing second. ‘’ATTACK’’ the man thundered. Riku’s body acted instinctively, as if knowing the more he stood still the more he would gasp for breath.

He picked up the sword and blindly charged at the man, hoping this terrible nightmare he had found himself in would somehow come to an end with this attack. The whole thought of it seemed ridiculous to him later on, but in the moment he couldn’t process what was happening.

The man deftly sidestepped Riku, disarmed him with swift hands and slammed him back on the ground.

Hot tears mixed with scorched red sand filled Riku’s eyes. Winded from the blow, desperately dehydrated from the sun and physically and emotionally drained; he felt hopeless once more, just like he felt in his own world, even here in this alien place, his emotions never changed.

Suddenly a small puddle of water appeared in front of him. “Drink.’’ ordered the man. Riku didn’t need to think twice. Severely dehydrated, he guzzled the crystal clear water in the blink of an eye.

Feeling refreshed and no longer like his windpipe was about to explode, he asked the man, softly this time, “Please sir, would you kindly tell me who you are?’’

Riku swore he saw a brief smile flash across the man’s expressionless face as he replied.

‘’I am the Spirit of the great tree you see over there. There is nothing in this world beside a barren desert, yet in the middle of it The Great Yakusugi tree was able to grow, do you know why?’’ asked the man.

Riku shook his head, unable to comprehend fully what he was being told.

‘’I know who you are Riku Hashimoto. I have been with you since the day you were born. I am the one who brought you here, and it is me who will send you back. I watch over your world in spirit form, where no one is able to see, hear or touch me, but I see all, I hear all, and I feel all.’’

‘’In your world there is constant hatred, anger, jealousy and all manner of sin that blinds humans to their true potential. People chase after uncertain futures, consumed by the fires of greed and lust for power. Superficiality has become the normal routine for many, as the truth of the world has long been lost and skewed over the ages. The teachings of the prophets of old have been forgotten, and every person has their own idea of what the world should be like, mixing it with their personal wants and needs, but lacking the humility to accept a greater understanding of the world around them.’’

‘’There is however one saving grace, young Riku. It is Love. True love holds a power so great no mortal seeking physical gain and riches can comprehend it. It transcends all knowledge and human understanding, it is the key to the truth of the universe that you exist in.’’

‘’This realm I have brought you to, is the realization of what is inside your soul.’’ All around you is barren wasteland, scorched by a relentless sun, representing years of pain and inner turmoil, which over time destroyed the once vibrant forests and trees that once grew when you were born. All that is left is this great Yakusugi tree. You thought you were going to die Riku, but just before you perceived your last moments, the love you held for your sister overtook you, despite your harsh upbringing and family life, you still clung to true love with no remorse till the end. This tree represents that love. An immovable force of life even in the most barren of deserts. Such is the power I speak of’’.

‘’Your selflessness even in your last moments moved me, so much so I decided to give you a second chance at life, Riku Hashimoto. It is not often in your world a human can make such a deep connection with the true power of the spirit.’’

‘’From now on I will guide you in your life, no longer will your heart be troubled, you will see truth in everything you do, and will develop a perception of reality different from anything you’ve experienced before. I will call you here again Riku. There are countless worlds like these, each filled with their own mystery, sometimes joy, sometimes misery. You will be my apprentice in cleansing each world of hatred and despair, developing your spiritual power along the way.’’

Riku stood still, a sense of inexplicable calm enveloped him, as if something in him had changed permanently. He felt like an eternity had passed in that strange reality, and his eyes began to droop, the wind suddenly picked up again. The sand blew in all directions, a whirlwind of red filled the atmosphere, and the shadowy silhouette of the old man faded into the distance. Despite all this, Riku continued to drift off to sleep.

When Riku woke up, he noticed he was lying down on the same stone bleacher from the previous night. ‘’What a crazy dream’’ he thought to himself. With a weary sigh, he got up. ‘’Time to go home and do this all again, the lament of poor old Riku Hashimoto continues’’ he thought. As he took his first step, Riku felt something uncomfortable in the neck of his weathered hoodie, something itchy, something grainy. With a tentative shake, Riku watched in awe as something red fell to the ground.

It was the same blood red, silt-like sand from his ‘dream’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

©Richard Pargass Spirit Story 2020.

Edited by T.Bell

Email : [Richiesmasher1@gmail.com](mailto:Richiesmasher1@gmail.com)

submitted by /u/ConsistentLocksmith2 [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2RTjGHy

[ulrichfoester]

How to nurture a healthy brain for life (Part 7 of Your Brain at 100)

This is part 7 of a series of lessons in brain health from our elders — those folk who lived the longest and healthiest. Click here to download the entire series as a PDF

  Dementia, memory loss and cognitive decline are robustly related to old age, and AD is one of the leading causes of death globally. So, is the payoff for a longer life memory loss and poor brain health in our final years?

To answer this question, I’ve look to two sources — those exceptionally old folks who remain in robust physical and mental health until the very end of their lives, and our evolutionary past.

Over millennia, Mother Nature has equipped us to survive and thrive in the wild. Our brains evolved such that from the womb to the tomb we’re required to move, eat well, sleep, immerse ourselves in nature, avoid stress, love and befriend, and seek meaning. These requirements neatly match the everyday life prescriptions followed by the world’s longest-living people.

Prevention is our best defence and the research on dementia is clear. Those of us who lead mentally, socially and physically stimulating lives have reduced risk of age-related brain disease. If we live as close as possible to how Mother Nature intended, while reaping the rewards of our modern healthcare, there is every chance we can add not only years to our lives but life to our years.

Our human ancestors likely evolved facing similar survival challenges to other species.

Whereas the need to acquire food was a major day-to-day challenge during much of our evolutionary history, today we live with a constant oversupply of food.

Today, our intellectual challenges focus on work or education, rather than the challenge of acquiring food.

Neuroscientist and ageing researcher, Prof Mark P. Mattson writers in Ageing Brain Reviews.

Regular intellectual challenges are critical for brain development and a successful career, and recent findings suggest that intermittent exercise and energy restriction can further enhance and then sustain the functional capabilities of the brain during aging.

Rather like an animal in the wild, our intellect evolved to function optimally when we’re motivated towards a goal, slightly hungry, and on foot, a state Mattson likens to ‘Hunger Games’ bolstered brainpower. 

In a 2017 Trends in Neurosciences paper, University of Arizona researchers David Raichlen and Gene Alexander support Mattson’s case that our brains are a product of our evolutionary history and our past as hunter-gatherers.

They argue as humans transitioned from a relatively sedentary ape-like existence to a more physically demanding hunter-gatherer lifestyle, starting around two million years ago, we began to engage in complex foraging tasks that were simultaneously physically and mentally demanding, and that may explain how moving and thinking came to be so connected.

Notably, the parts of the brain most taxed during high cognitive load tasks such as foraging (the pre-frontal cortex, hippocampus and entorhinal cortex) are the same areas that show vulnerability in Alzheimer’s disease.

When faced with inactivity as is so common in our modern-day life, our brains adaptively reduce capacity as part of an energy-saving strategy, leading to age-related brain atrophy…

The evidence from modern science and ancient wisdom is clear. How we eat, move, sleep, form relationships and find meaning is intimately connected to how our brains grow, think, feel and, ultimately, age.

1. The best exercise for your brain is physical exercise

Our brains and nervous systems evolved to move us around and to sense and perceive the world. Our cognitive prowess and human intellect evolved while we were on foot. Our brains evolved, not to think or feel, but to control how we move. Therefore, moving is the best way we know to keep our brains fit and well.

A Canadian review of twenty-four randomised control trials and twenty-one prospective cohort studies calculated that at least one in seven cases of AD could be prevented if everyone who is currently inactive took up exercise.

People living in Blue Zones people don’t run marathons, wear Fitbits, or join Crossfit gyms. Instead, they live in environments that constantly ‘nudge’ them into moving without thinking about it. Jeanne Calment rode her bike till she was 100, and lived in a second-story apartment with no lift until she was 110.

2. Eat real food, not too much, mostly plants

Our ancestors and their smart brains were trotting across the landscape hunting, fishing and foraging for food. We evolved to eat food from the rivers, forest and sky. We are also adaptable, and the many versions of a healthy ‘diet’ vary by country, culture (and today by social media platform). What sets those who live the longest apart is not the minutiae of their diet and balance of nutrients gained from fats, protein or carbohydrates, but the absence of refined processed foods.

Evidence from epidemiological studies such as the Blue Zones and clinical trials strongly implicates a Mediterranean-style diet slows brain ageing.

And most recently, a clinical trial in Australia proved successful in treating depression by encouraging young people with depression to up their consumption of vegetables, fruits, wholegrains, legumes, fish, lean red meats, olive oil and nuts, while reducing their consumption of unhealthy ‘extras’ foods, such as sweets, refined cereals, fried food, fast-food, processed meats and sugary drinks.

When we eat, we’re consuming not only nutrients but energy in the form of calories. Researchers, such as the Dunedin Study team, are now unravelling the relationships among calories, lifespan, healthspan and cognitive health. Calorie restriction (eating less) and intermittent fasting (fasting on and off) increases longevity in all species thus far observed, from yeast to rodents to primates — it’s assumed the same is true for us.

This notion ties back to the ‘Hunger Games’ concept whereby our brains evolved to function most optimally when we’re hungry and looking for food. Eating less benefits our glucose control, cholesterol and may produce mild neuronal stress which engages signalling pathways that improve the ability of the brain to resist ageing.

Dietary advice for brain health can be summed up by Michael Pollen’s famous adage,

Eat real food, not too much, mostly plants.

3. Get more sleep

As earthlings, our biological rhythms are determined by the rising and setting of the sun. Our sleep patterns, when hormones are released, our blood pressure and body temperature, ebb and flow in sync with day and night.

Modern-day life with its artificial lighting late at night, alarm clocks, shift work, iPhones in bed, and jetlag, is very good at interfering with our natural sleep patterns. As a basic biological function, sleep is overlooked and underappreciated, and globally, modern humans are chronically sleep-deprived.

Sleep deprivation (even a few hours a night) impacts cognition, mood, memory, and learning, and long-term leads to chronic disease including depression, diabetes and cardiovascular disease, all risk factors for developing dementia.

A good night’s sleep every night should be a priority, not a luxury. And my personal daily indulgence, a short afternoon nap, consolidates memory, sparks creativity and smooths your rough emotional edges, giving you greater control over your thoughts and feelings.

4. Challenge your mind

Lab mice kept in bare cages with no toys or places to explore show greater rates of age-related cognitive decline compared to their counterparts kept in enriched novel environments full of toys, tunnels and mazes. As we’ve discussed, humans are no different.

People who stay mentally engaged in life and constantly challenge themselves to step out of their comfort zone have reduced risk of age-related cognitive decline and dementia.

Children have a natural tendency to run and play, whereas adults tend take life more seriously. We don’t lose the need for novelty and pleasure once we grow up. Game playing, whether it be video or online, traditional board games, dancing, or team or individual sports, has been shown to alleviate boredom, anxiety, depression, loneliness, despair and even physical pain.

As Charlene Levitan said to me,

We don’t stop playing and learning because we get old, we grow old because we stop playing and learning.

5. Find your place or moment of calm

One pervasive theme I came across writing my book was how stress ‘gets under our skin’ to influence our mental and physical health decades later.

Not all stress is bad, but chronic or toxic stress, especially life events that are out of our control, have deleterious effects.

The key to buffering stress is to find ways to improve your perceived ability to cope with whatever life throws your way. Find peace amid the chaos. Find your place or moment of calm.

The evidence is mixed whether or not stress causes dementia, but it’s clear stress hormones alter risk for anxiety, depression, obesity and cardiovascular disease, which in turn increase dementia risk. 292

More has been spoken or written about the practice of mindfulness meditation in recent years than any other previously free stress-relief practice. With good reason. Paying attention to your breath, which is a core component of many mindfulness practices, reduced anxiety and depression, and improves sleep.

Blue Zones people have in place varied daily rituals that reduce or buffer the impact of stress in their lives. Activities include prayer, napping and happy hour with friends. (I’ll add walking the dog or enjoying a good book to the mix.)

6. Connect with family and friends

After we foraged, caught or hunted our food, we trotted back to our tribe. Being socially connected to other people protects against stress and because socialising involves many cognitive functions such as thinking, feeling, sensing, reasoning and intuition, friendships contribute to cognitive reserve.

Old age brings ‘costs of survivorship,’ and a ‘thinned’ social landscape. Richard Setterson writes,

We lose people with whom we shared many experiences, who are central to our identities, and who are no longer there to validate — or to question — our memories or accounts. This kind of identity loss also occurs with the death of older generations, as we are pushed up the family ladder and, once at the top, become orphans in time.

A 2010 meta-analysis of 148 studies including 300 000 people who were tracked for 7.5 years after completing surveys of how often they met with family and friends, found socially connected folks live longer.

On the flipside, loneliness was associated with late-life loss of cognition, including elevated blood pressure, depression and poor sleep. The startling conclusion of this report was that the influence of social isolation on the health and risk of death was comparable to smoking.

7. Seek out meaning and purpose

With purpose and meaning comes positive emotions — love, compassion, and appreciation — which counteract stress and support a healthy brain throughout life. Blue Zones residents are members of faith communities and find meaning and purpose through spirituality. Living a meaningful life seems an unlikely addition to a book about the brain, but ‘purpose in life’ is a concept in neuroscience that links to robust brain and mind health.

Purpose, defined as the tendency to derive meaning from life’s experiences and to possess a sense of intentionality and goal-directedness that guides behaviour, can be quantified.

A study published in Archives of General Psychiatry in 2010 examined the association of purpose in life with risk of AD in more than 900 elderly people living in residential care. During the seven years of follow-up, greater purpose in life was associated with a substantially reduced risk of AD, such that a person with a high score on the purpose in life measure was approximately two and half times more likely to remain free of AD than a person with a low score.

Have you figured out why you’re here?

What’s your north star? Your ‘ikigai’. Your ‘plan de vida’? There are possibly many clever strategies to find meaning of your life — somewhere in the nexus of passion, skillset, employment opportunity, education and service to others. William James the psychologist said in 1920,

The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.

Recently I’ve come across a simpler way. Over the years, I’ve taken taken stage with Paul Baldock, a bone biologist at Sydney’s Garvan Institute of Medical Research. We called on to share our wisdom, purpose and what we’ve learned on our career paths in science. Baldock has developed a novel formula for every decision he makes in the research lab, career, and life. He simply asks,

Is it awesome? Does it help?

This is part 7 of a series of lessons in brain health from our elders — those folk who lived the longest and healthiest. Click here to download the entire series as a PDF

The post How to nurture a healthy brain for life (Part 7 of Your Brain at 100) appeared first on Your Brain Health.

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[pamphletstoinspire]

Apologist Warns Catholics About Dangers of ‘Mindfulness’

Interview With Susan Brinkmann About Her New Catholic Guide

By: Patti Armstrong

Susan Brinkmann, once a New Age feminist, is now a Catholic apologist, award-winning author, Third Order Carmelite, and a staff writer and radio and TV host with Living His Life Abundantly and Women of Grace.

She knows what it’s like to seek happiness in all the wrong places and has dedicated her life to sharing the good news of the Catholic faith. Her latest book, A Catholic Guide to Mindfulness, warns of the dangers of the latest Eastern meditation fad and offers Catholics a deeper, holier path rooted in the wisdom of the saints and doctors of the Church.

First things first: What is this growing practice of “mindfulness”?

“Mindfulness” is rooted in Buddhism and seeks to bring about a state of active, open attention on the present by which one observes his or her thoughts and feelings as if from a distance, without judging them to be good or bad. Although it is promoted as a non-spiritual practice used as a means of vanquishing stress and anxiety, it is practiced through one of several forms of Buddhist meditation, such as “Breathing Space Meditation,” “Body Scan Meditation” and “Expanding Awareness Meditation.” Connecting with God is not the goal of any of these types of meditation.

Why did you write this book?

My main concern is the attempt by many Catholics to integrate mindfulness meditation practices into their prayer or spiritual lives. They are being led into this by believing that it’s not a “Buddhist practice,” [but a way] to just focus on the “here and now.”

But when we do that via one of several mindfulness meditation techniques — such as “Breathing Space Meditation,” “Body Scan Meditation” and others that are commonly taught — then we are venturing into the realm of Buddhist practices.

Many Catholics may start out trying to keep these practices separate, but there is a common confusion in the West regarding Eastern meditation and how it differs from Western meditation (one is a mental exercise; the other is a method of dialoguing with God), which is why many are inadvertently combining the two — and this can often result in spiritual disaster, even to the point of requiring exorcism in some cases.

Why would combining practices be a problem?

As the book explains, I have personal experience with this. Our “New Age Q&A” blog at Women of Grace recently received an email from a woman whose husband stopped praying the Rosary with his family because he found this kind of meditation to be more relaxing. Although none of us should come to prayer just for relaxation, but to converse with God, this shows how easily people, in varying stages of their spiritual lives, can be confused — without even realizing it — and thus be led away from God rather than towards him.

Are there studies on the effect of mindfulness?

There is mounting scientific concern regarding the mainstream media only touting studies that found benefits of mindfulness and not reporting on studies that found negative results from the practice. Some studies have shown that practicing mindfulness can actually backfire on people as they focus intently on the moment and leave their thoughts behind, including the positive ones. It can also lead people to disconnect rather than focus and engage in critical thinking on problems that require more thinking and not less.

In addition, a meta-analysis of 18,000 mindfulness studies conducted by researchers at Johns Hopkins University in 2014 found only 47 that were considered methodologically sound — that’s only .0026%. And of those 47 found to be acceptable, the research found only “moderate evidence” of decreased anxiety, depression and pain and “low evidence” of improved mental health-related quality of life. This research led to more alarming findings about the negative effects of mindfulness, which then led me to put this information into a book in order to provide a more complete picture of this practice than what people are getting from proponents.

Why is mindfulness appealing to people?

There are several reasons why people are being drawn to it. First, the increasing secularization of our society has relegated Judeo-Christian values to the “nobody cares anymore” dustbin.

As a result, many people are abandoning mainstream religion and are feeding the resulting spiritual hunger with other practices, which range anywhere from a variety of non-Christian and/or New Age philosophies to the occult.

Second, I see the need to escape from the pressures of modern life as another reason why people are so drawn to Eastern meditation practices. These practices induce altered states of consciousness through the use of techniques designed to empty or manage the mind. This gives people a false reprieve from their worries.

In an era when we are suffering record levels of depression and anxiety, who wouldn’t want to escape their problems for at least a little while? Of course this is appealing!

In Christian prayer, they may have to confront their problems, but they are doing so with Someone who can actually solve those problems. In Eastern meditation, the only option is momentary escape. Afterward, you’re still stuck with the same problems.

Third, with respect to psychologists and others promoting the practice, there is much money to be made through psychospiritual fads like mindfulness.

We have seen the same pattern in the past with Reiki (ed. note: see our story about Reiki  -  

https://docs.wixstatic.com/ugd/a84285_2003022bfe394cfd92e4393b6eab141b.pdf   )

and “Centering Prayer.” Once these fads become common interest, many seek to exploit them for financial gain.

Why are the Catholic alternatives superior?

If one is living in the present moment in the presence of God, there is no need for a Buddhist practice like mindfulness. These Christian practices far surpass these merely human-based methods and actually draw us into the presence of God, where we can find authentic peace and healing.

Instead of a momentary escape from anxiety, the Christian alternative offers a real solution to anxiety and a permanent transformation. One practice is a quick fix; the other is a long-term opportunity for exponential personal growth toward the ultimate goal of our existence here on Earth — union with God.

By the time we reach this summit of union with him here on Earth, we will have been completely transformed into a totally new creation — not just an improvement of the old. When we are united with our Creator, we will finally become who we were meant to be from the beginning of time. This is a grace that surpasses all understanding.

Can a person be a good Catholic and still practice mindfulness?

It depends on what you mean by “good.” Good people are deceived all the time. Well-intended people pursue means that make them feel good all the time, but these means can be deeply spiritually damaging.

If you are just refocusing yourself for a few minutes on the task at hand, that is not a problem.

But if you’re engaging in the typical methods of practicing mindfulness, all of which involve some kind of meditation, then you risk inducing an altered state, which renders one vulnerable to psychological damage or to the influence of spiritual entities.

Catholics should not be involved in this, even when it is recommended by a doctor, because too many studies have shown it to be harmful, which is why more and more researchers are speaking out about it.

If a Catholic wants to practice being mindful of the present moment, my book recommends that they begin to employ The Practice of the Presence of God, which was introduced in the 16th century by a humble Carmelite brother named Brother Lawrence. It not only teaches a person to stay grounded in the present, but to do so in order to live in continual awareness of the presence of God within.

We’re taught to live in the present moment at all times in order to respond to the will of God as it plays out in each and every moment of our lives.

There is a vast difference between a state of sterile “awareness” and the much deeper realms of bliss to be found while basking in the presence of the Creator of the universe.

[personalcoachingcenter]

Power Tool: Know Thyself vs. Self-Sabotage

New Post has been published on https://personalcoachingcenter.com/power-tool-know-thyself-vs-self-sabotage/

Power Tool: Know Thyself vs. Self-Sabotage

A Coaching Power Tool Created by Athina Tsellou (Health & Wellness Coach, GREECE)

The unexamined life is not to be lived. Socratic dictum

Know Thyself:

The phrase Know Thyself is an English translation of the Greek dictum ΓΝΩΘΙ ΣΕ ΑΥΤΟΝ which means to know oneself and was inscribed in stone above the Ancient Greek Temple of Apollo at Delphi. For the Greek philosopher, Socrates self-knowledge requires self-examination, but not in a sense that would come most naturally to contemporary readers. Instead, self-examination, as understood by Socrates, requires investigating, through debate and dialogue, the contours of concepts that seem necessary for living a good life: knowledge, justice, virtue, piety, and the like. His wisdom laid on understanding the limits of his knowledge ending up with the fact that he knows nothing about anything. Other philosophers like Thomas Hobbes believed that if you wish to understand other people you need to introspect. By observing your thoughts, feelings, and desires you can understand yourself and others as well. Later on, in the 19th century, Sigmund Freud brings up the power of unconscious forces that motivate our behaviors. Knowing ourselves has been an area of study and still constitutes one of the biggest challenges in our lives at least for those who have the desire to seek it.

Following this desire I came up with the following two essential points around self-knowledge according to Krishnamurti:

“To know oneself is to study oneself in action, which is a relationship”

“Self-knowledge arises when we are aware of ourselves in the relationship, which shows what we are from moment to moment. The relationship is a mirror in which we see ourselves as we really are.”

It is in the mirror of the relationships that our imperfections stand out and this allows us to see our strengths and weaknesses. Usually, when we think of a person who is trying to gain wisdom of himself we imagine monks or people who spend most of the time by themselves. What is the value of that if it is not tested under the crash test of the relationship? Self-knowledge depends on the perception of ourselves, and this requires sensitivity. A sensitivity to everything and everyone, devoid of thought and judgment. It’s about just noticing our characteristics without trying to change them. And it is by perceiving ourselves through our sensitivity that we have the chance to do differently not only ourselves but with the people with whom we relate. Only when we interact with others when we are connected with our loved ones we can react or respond in ways that may show us who we are. Especially in relationships where our ego is minimized, for instance with our children, we have the chance to experience self-awareness which leads to self-knowledge.

2.“Self-knowledge is not an end in itself. Is there a source for a river? Every drop of water creates the river from beginning to end.” Self-knowledge has no end – you don’t come to an achievement, you don’t conclude. It is an endless river. And as one studies it, as one goes into it more and more, one finds peace.

Self-Sabotage:

Self-sabotage is when you undermine your own goals and values.

Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems in daily life and interferes with long-standing goals. Common types of self-sabotage involve procrastination and perfectionism and are occasionally met in relationships, work, finances, time, and change. Although you try to make changes and disrupt these patterns, somehow you end up in the same place, again and again. If this sounds familiar, you could be sabotaging yourself. Self–sabotage refers to behaviors or thought patterns that hold you back and prevent you from doing what you want to do. Why would someone set a goal that really wants to achieve and work towards sabotaging his-her own plan at the same time? Because we are misled by “self-protection”. We raise all these “BUTS” that seem to be protecting us from failure, mistakes, pain, etc. Here are just three common examples of people who are stuck on their BUTS :

“I’d exercise and eat right, BUT I just don’t have the time.”

“I’d quit smoking, BUT I’m too stressed out.”

“I’d ask that girl out, BUT what if she rejects me?”

It seems so simple to put a dot before those “BUTS” and move forward. So why do we punish ourselves?

Self-Application:

So check in yourself. Pay attention and recognize these mental blogs every time they talk to you through your thoughts. Go deep and observe them. Do they belong to you? Are they true? What is behind them?

Fear:                           

One of the biggest barriers that all people have to overcome is fear. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of change. Fear of success. Fear of making decisions. Fear of responsibility. Fear of commitment. It is fear (and all of its cousins, such as worry, anxiety, depression, and self-doubt) that will turn your dream of success into a chilling nightmare that haunts you into paralysis.

Negative Belief Barriers:

“I’m too old.”

“I’m too young.”

“There’s never enough time.”

“Love hurts.”

“There are no good men left,”

“I don’t deserve that.”

As we grow up we become experts in using all these excuses to keep ourselves inside our comfort zone where we think we feel safe. Most of the time our expertise is so delicate that we don’t even recognize them as such. It is because these beliefs gain roots in our minds so deep that they turn from thoughts to facts. And as we grow we tend to accept these facts as true statements automatically without examining them. What if we step back next time we have such a thought and simply ask: “Is it true?”.

Watch What You Say to Yourself!:

Words hold the power to destroy, but they also hold the power to create. This is because words do more than define our experiences. In many cases they actually create them.

Like good parents of demanding two-year-olds, we need to take control and start parenting our inner voice. Would you talk to your child or best friend the way you some- times talk to yourself? I don’t think so.

If we catch ourselves saying mean things to ourselves— “You’re too fat! No one will ever love you! You can’t do anything right!”—we have to intervene and say, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m just a little [tired, scared, over- whelmed] right now.” Apologizing to ourselves is a foreign concept, but it’s necessary. We must respect ourselves. Practice talking to yourself the way you would talk to a best friend, a mentor, or someone you really look up to.

Choose our Connections Wisely:

As we mentioned before the people we choose to connect with becoming our mirrors. There is a greek dictum that says “Show me your friend to tell you who you are”. The moment our mind is self-sabotaging us we don’t need other people’s voices to enhance and empower all these “BUTs” that keep us back from our actions. Instead, we need people that will set an example of courage through their shared vulnerability, friends that will share positive feedback dressed with pure love to help us find out more things about ourselves. And of course, this works vice-versa. And that is a crucial point. Because sometimes our self-sabotage voices come exactly from perspectives that we have built around our kindness and behaviors to our friends that if we observe them they may not serve our goals whatsoever.

It is our choice:

What a great power to realize that it is completely in our hands to stop self-sabotage! No external authority is needed so we just need to get ownership of the situation and act. And exactly because of that we don’t have any excuses. The more we observe and learn ourselves the better we distinguish our inner voice from useless thoughts. The more we get connected with the child inside us the more we act. We remember how it was to fall and try again and again until we managed to walk. Thank God without “BUTs”, excuses and insecurities.

Coaching Application:

Self-awareness and self-knowledge are being important parts of the coaching journey. The more you get to know your values, your strengths, and the beliefs that serve you at the moment the more you distinguish when your thoughts are sabotaging your change. And as a result, the more you stop following them the more you strengthen your inner voice like a muscle that has been working out.

Address fears:

Fear is only deep as the mind allows. Japanese proverb

When fear is not illusioned by the mind it is a gift given by nature to protect us from danger. It works like an alarm system when we are threatened or at a risk. When did that change and fear become one of the most important problems in societies today?

Why do people allow this gift to negatively control their actions, their beliefs, and ultimately their lives? Well, it has a lot to do with making a distinct difference between reacting to fear and acting in fear. It has everything to do with your belief system, what your beliefs are about fear, and what you have been conditioned to believe.

Address underlying beliefs:

The only difference between a thought (which really doesn’t have much power over you) and a belief (which has total control over you) is this: a belief is a thought you’ve convinced yourself is true. In other words . . .

A belief is just a thought that you’ve made real.

Finding out with the customers which beliefs support their goals and working on the ones that get in the way is a part of the coaching partnership.

Using tools and assessments to support self-knowledge and minimize self-sabotage:

There are plenty of tools that can be used to support the customer to see clearly the strengths and values that drive their thoughts and behaviors. Also, we are grateful that nowadays we can easily reach various tests of behaviors and personalities that can give the name and cause various actions and aspects of ourselves. Furthermore, the use of visualization is a power tool for overcoming the thoughts of self-sabotage by a “fast-forward movement “that brings to light the feelings, the state of mind, and the new conditions strongly enough to fuel our way towards the wishful goal or change. That is based on a relatively well-known fact that we stimulate the same brain regions when we visualize the action and when we actually perform that same action.

Strategic Questioning:

Questions that promote thinking outside the box can be the key to moving forward. While we self-talks we usually repeat the same dialogues and follow the same vicious circles that drain our energy and steal our time without providing any creativity or movement forward. When the coach asks a question that stops these predictable chains the mind opens and creates a new path to our thinking. And that is the first step of a new action.

The Choice formula:

This formula is really simple and is the starting point of any action we need to take.

W>S

Will stands for W and Self-sabotage for S. every time we decide to change a habit, create a new one or take action on something in our life it is wise to sit a bit on that formula and check on which side we stand. Coaching can provide the space of trust where we can use the eyes of our inner self and see truly if our will is strong enough to support our action and if not to go deep enough and with kindness accept it or not. This deep dive inside to check this choice formula is done with the necessary precautions with a coach but the choice of experiencing where we stand in this equation is totally in the customer’s hands.

One last thing:

Allow me to leave you with this parting piece of wisdom.

Mentor “When does a person learn something?”

Client “When they retain the information they set forth to absorb.”

“Wrong,” the mentor replied. “Learning doesn’t occur until the behavior has changed. As long as you know something intellectually but you have yet to put it into practice, you haven’t learned it at all.”

Whoa!

References and inspirational readings:

ICA Power tools

“Get off your But” by Sean Stephenson

“Conquer Fear” by Lisa Gimenez

“Know Thyself- The Value and Limits of self-knowledge” by Mitchell S.Green

https://jkrishnamurti.org/

https://medium.com/@nicolas.rufino/

Self-Sabotage: Why You Do It and How to Stop for Good

Original source: https://coachcampus.com/coach-portfolios/power-tools/athina-tsellou-know-thyself-vs-self-sabotage/