#and maybe they put it into a changeling and thats why it seems to have a similarly shapeless form

[bigskydreaming]

Also, does anyone else feel like this is all Locutus related? Everything weird about Jack, the Changelings’ mysterious benefactor, Picard’s original body....

I’m just saying, I feel like this is a Locutus thing but I don’t know how common that guess is.

[sorenskyhigh]

Heyyy! I saw you take requests! Imagine: werewolfves, vampires, winged humans and other fantasy/mythological creatures exist (Dungen&dragon races maybe?), What would your favorite Karasuno character(s) be? And, already a happy new year! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

Happy New Year!🎉🎆 I think I'm gonna do all of Karasuno bc they all deserve love and I just love all the Haikyuu characters!!!!! And thank you for putting in a request this is my first!!!!!! Wooohoo!!

Karasuno as D&D

(Or what I think they would be)

Daichi Sawamura

When I think of Daichi I think of a very stout, hardy person.

I know he's 176 or so cm but he's very built and in personality and physical build, sturdy

I also see him very hardworking

Daichi seems very dependable but in a chaotic way

Like he really wants to help but he also simultaneously has NO idea what he's doing

But also I can see him loving the world, people, and animals and nature

A protector but maybe a slight loner or the leader of a group, no inbetween

I honestly think he would be either a Dwarf (the only problem I have with this one is is that I don't view Daichi as a materialistic person like a Dwarf to want gold everything and whatnot) or a Firebolg

I feel either of these could fit him since they are very hardworking and sturdy people. But I lean toward firebolgs more since they are kinda calmer natural people if that makes sense??????

Daichi by no means is a calm and just no worries kind of guy but, I feel like he does have a slow and steady wins the race

Daichi is wise and strong and could live a calm and natural life like a Firebolg

Living with the animals and helping them but also living with a tribe of his people

Koushi Sugawara

I look at Suga as a very loving person that in his own chaotic way tries to help everybody

A mom friend if you will

I also see him getting close with few people a being very ride or die

He also seems a bit like a home body, like he enjoys staying home and being comfortable

Thats why I chose either a Gnome or Hafling

Gnomes are of a tight knit community and are very enthusiastic about life. Learning and building what they can

Building things to help their community and ending the day with a well earned drink with friends and family

Haflings love home comforts

Sitting by the fire and reading a good book

Doing some gardening and whatnot

But some travel and learn and grow intellectually

I think either of these would suit Suga

I can't stop imagining him as a Gnome with little goggles as he works on something small and metal with gears or him sitting in little Hafling attire or some pjs by a fire with some mead in one hand and a good book in the other

Asahi Azumane

I view Asahi as one of my personal favorite tropes of really big and scary but actually a sweet, bumbling mess/really small and adorable but could actually tortures you in a million different ways

Asahi is such a gentle giant but can get serious when he needs to

I also see him as someone very natural and loves nature/animals

That's why I picked either Triton or Genasi (the only thing about Genasi is they're super confident and Asahi very much is not)

Triton are water folk and outsiders (people think Asahi is scary and unapproachable)

They also have good relations with giant seahorses, Hippocampi, and sea lions

Can you imagine Asahi riding a Hippocampus with his gorgeous hair flowing in the waves of the water 😳 muah *chefs kiss* majestic

Anyways 😆

I also see him as a Genasi because they're kinda mysterious people with such a strong connection to nature and elemental energies

But I think he would specifically be an Earth Genasi bc they don't tend to make rash and are superior in strength and solid power

Yū Nishinoya

The little adorable ball of thunderous chaos

Noya seems like someone who loves to cause chaos but NEVER hurt anyone

He wants to have a good time but most people can't quite handle his version of a good time

Thats why I chose Satyr for Noya

Satyrs have the loose construct of a civilization and the wild urges of animals and beasts

Noya is a very independent person but will stick to very particular people

Satyrs are similar

They also view everyone as either a body to dance with, poor soul the mess with, or a sober mind to get absolutely hammered with

Ryūnoske Tanaka

Ryū is just such an awesome character to me

He is the real ride or die never gonna give up on you kind of person

I am not throwing any hate onto the other second years IN THE SLIGHTEST but Ryū did stay the whole time

And yet he seems, to me, to constantly need to prove his self worth

This is why I think he would be either a Human or a Lizardman

Humans are a young race and feel like, in their short lives they need to prove themselves

This drive causes them to be adaptable innovators and pioneers

Bu~ut I also think he would be good among the Lizardfolk

They have their own set of personal rules that they live by that aren't exactly conventional to most other races

Also they can be very food driven who isn't tho

Chikara Ennoshita, Hisashi Kinnoshita, Kazuhito Narita

All three give off similar vibes to me (not just cause they're background characters)

All three feel pretty chill and laid back but like their hardworkers once they have the right motivation

The three of them seem passive as well

Doing what they're told without much question but also like severe outsiders (I know they close themselves off from the others on purpose a bit bc they left and feel guilty)

So I chose Changelings for these three

Changelings are generally harmless, passive beings without interest in other races political affairs

But bc of this most others find them not trustworthy

They kind of don't have their own culture and just slip into other societies

I feel like these three did this with the volleyball team bc they didn't show them ever having some kind grand dream or ambitions

They just kind of float along with certain people they're comfortable with

Tobio Kageyama

Kageyama is a very independent character at heart

It's not that he WANTS to be a lonely necessarily, I feel, but that he wants to prove himself so much and constantly that he pushes people away

Even after he learned about relying on people and what it means to be a team

He stills feels like he should be able to do it himself

I feel like there is an ever constant duality in him

That's why I think he'd be a Half Elf

Human/elf mixes never really belong anywhere bc they either age faster than there elven peers or watch as their human loved ones age and die off much faster than themselves

This is why Half elf/humans keep to themselves

But for Kageyama, I feel if he had never met Hinata, Daichi, Suga, Ryū, or any of them, he would've isolated himself on accident from everyone

Shoyo Hinata

Shoyo is very impulsive but does extremely well with others

He is definitely social and NEEDS to have other people to watch his back

He has shown to be aggressive and super competitive with other players

But he forms strong bonds with those he really cares about

I feel like he would be, specifically a Longtooth Shifter

These shifters specifically are aggressive towards others they are not close to

But are deeply invested in those they have chosen to share their time with

They also are Lupine/dog based beings

And Shoyo definitely has a very dog like personality

They also are more pack oriented than other shifters

They have teamwork and group fluidity

Kei Tsukishima

Tsukishima a very stereotypical character but written in THE BEST WAY

He's that stereotype of antagonist to ally or prude outcast to reliable friend

This was caused by the circumstances of him finding out the situation with his brother

So he decided that no one could be trusted with Yamaguchi as an exception

Elf or Tiefling, did you really expect anything else? 😜

Elven people are very reserved a set themselves apart most of the time from other races, generally thinking of them as inferior or untrustworthy to be around the knowledge Elven people possess

Like Tsukishima they think themselves above other beings with a few that choose to live with with humans

Tieflings are forced away from other races

Because of a past sin that has changed them to look slightly different from others, they are shunned

I relate what happened when Tieflings became a different bloodline of humans to what happened between Kei and his older brother Akiteru

Tsukishimas rejection of companionship is something he does himself, but it is a form of mistrust towards others to not lie to him like he once was

Both Elven and Tieflings are very intelligent in their own differing ways

Elven are very well read and prestigious

Tieflings are good at slight of hand and swindling others bc of the rough cards they've been dealt in life

Tadashi Yamaguchi

Tadashi is a very different person than from what people make him out to be

Everybody makes him out to be an uwu ooga booga baby child that needs protecting

But he's not

That's not to say he doesn't have a large, warm and welcoming heart but he's NOT weak by any means

He's strong and he eventually becomes independent from Tsukishima and doesn't have to be codependent

Tadashi Yamaguchi is an amazing hardworker that is learning about the world and is trying to better himself slowly day by day

But there is the soft, kind and helpful side of him that would just do anything for a struggling stranger

That's why I chose either a Tortle or Kobold

I see him being maybe a Tortles that lives a simple life filled with schedules and living a very ritualistic life

They live simply and are very personable beings

But there's also Kobolds who are dragon like creatures that are INWARDLY aggressive but are industrious beings

They hate larger beings as they're short but will show respect if need to but would show backhanded and passive aggressive ways to show their displeasure

They also don't like direct confrontation and would rather entrapt another creature or being than directly fight them

They are also cunning and have a knack for plan making with which they share through out their entire tribe

Kiyoko Shimizu

I see Kiyoko as a very dependable person but also very independent and very strong and strong willed

Basically a feminine icon, honestly

She can do just about everything but seemingly has her own agenda

You're very lucky if her agenda should happen to align with you and your goals because she is an indestructible force not to be dealt with lightly

And yet, she is above all else a women

Feminine, beautiful, and incredibly amazing (as all women are)

I chose Aasimar for Kiyoko

Aasimar are beings that are often descendants of celestial or higher beings

They generally hold good morals and are justice deliverers

They generally serve a guardians of law that strike at evil, lead by example, and dish out justice where it is needed

They are cautious of others and sometimes misunderstood as they did what they do what they believed to be right

Aasimars are also extremely empathetic and are often times hurt by the prejudice they suffer in early years as many don't like what they don't understand

Hitoka Yachi

Yachi IS NOT THE SOFT, DEFENSLESS, CRYBABY EVERYBODY MAKES HER OUT TO BE

Yachi is shy and nervous but that is only bc she was accidentally persuaded into an intimidating world of giants

And for a short and petite framed girlt hat is TERRIFYING at first

But Yachi stepped up to the plate and batted away everyone's shit expectations for her because she rose to become an amazing manager for the team

She became independent from her mother's harsh ideas of her and showed her how powerful she can be

She may be small but she is truly mighty

This is why I picked Centaurs for her

Centaurs are the swiftest out of the humanoids and build peaceful communities

They hunt what and where they wish, as they generally move after a few years in one place, move

They highly value personal choice and individuality among their tribes

They also love and worship nature, many wanting to devote themselves to a higher power and/or become druids

They generally bear no ill will towards anyone unless the opposers strike first

Thank you @popcorntime-doodles for giving me my first request I hope you like this and I hope I did a good job

Again this is just my opinion and how I see the characters and the many races of D&D

Also again I do request I have a character masterlist in my bio ❤

@multifandombrainrot @kneecapstealingalien @akabxne @jiheonity @weareallhumans123 @smallmangi @canadian-crow @just-jellyfish @immiamarais @i-need-coffee-now-pls @foreveryoung050 @kuroos-world @luminasapphire @silverfire6 @shadowsbutdead @ghostexhibit @simpfornishinoya @goshikisimp @anothershadeofpink @mestayanon @japoga

[writings-of-a-daphodil]

Fire Keeper: Chapter 5

Douxie x fem reader

Chapter 1

Masterlist in bio!

Series Summary: You are Jim’s older sister who is taking a break from college and has moved back home to Arcadia. You end up joining Jim and his friends on their adventures. Chapter 5 Summary: After all your recent missions you need a break, but will you get it when Mr. Strickler comes over for dinner.

“Last class of the night,” Jim said as you arrived outside Mr. Strickler’s classroom. You scowled.

“I can’t believe he’s a changeling. He was such a great teacher.”

“Agreed.” The two of you went and sat in the back of the class with Toby and his Nana.

“He wouldn’t do anything would he?” Toby whispered to you.

“No way,” Jim whispered back. “Not with all these people.”

“I see the two best friends are talking. It’s just like normal class,” Strickler joked and you refrained yourself from rolling your eyes. The rest of the room laughed.

You yawned and glanced out the window only to see Bular pacing in the grass outside. “Um, we kinda have a situation,” you whispered without moving your mouth.

“What kind of situation?” Toby whispered back.

“Bular is outside.”

“I’ll handle it, just cover me.” Jim whispered something to Toby while you looked around the room for anything that could be used as a distraction.

With a plan in mind you whispered a spell you had learned earlier that week, “Interminus nocti sluumberso.”

Suddenly Strickler fainted to the ground and as the parents and students were distracted you nodded to Jim and Toby who were able to slip out.

You smiled, satisfied with your proficiency in magic. You let him sleep for a little while longer, only waking him up when Claire’s dad suggested calling an ambulance.

As he got off the floor he seemed shocked and one of the parents suggested he see a doctor. You left soon after to help Toby’s Nana home.

When you got to your own house Toby and Jim were waiting for you.

“How did it go?” You asked, hanging up your purse.

“We managed to lure him away,” Toby said proudly and you patted him and Jim on the back.

“Would you count that as the third mission today?” Jim asked Toby and you sighed.

“Yeah.” He thought for a second. “We could all use a break. Maybe we could go to the movies?”

“That sounds like fun, Tobes.” Jim yawned and you mimicked him.

“You two have fun. I’ll buy myself a normal, human book instead.”

~~~~

“Hi Archie,” you called to the cat that was lounging on a table. You began to browse through the books, this time looking for something just fun to read. You needed to relax, especially after all the missions you had recently gone on, and reading a good, normal book would do it.

You walked over to pet Archie and stroked him as you browsed. It was warm inside the bookstore which was a nice break from the chilly air outside, but you didn’t need a jacket so you took it off. You draped it on the table.

“Hello, Y/n.” Douxie said from behind you and you jumped a little. “Sorry I startled you.”

“It’s fine.” You smiled, though he had just scared you a second ago his presence had already calmed you. “I found another book.”

“Great, let me check that out for you.” He led you to the cash register and the two of you chatted while he rang the book up.

He handed the book to you and you were about to leave when he called out to you, “Um, would you maybe, uh, want to get a coffee sometime. I’d, um, like to get to know you better.”

“Sure,” you replied. You waved goodbye to him and then left.

You felt a little embarrassed, flustered, and confused. You were beginning to like Douxie and he seemed really nice. However, there was something about him that you couldn’t put your finger on, it wasn’t bad, there was just something.

You got into your car and you were about to turn it on when Jim called. “Hel-”

“Y/n Mr. Strickler is coming over for dinner tonight!” Jim exclaimed, not even letting you finish your sentence.

“What, no...” you didn’t know how to respond.

“Mom invited him when he went to the doctors office," Jim explained and you winced, realizing it was you who inadvertently sent Strickler there. 

"Oops," you mumbled.

"It's fine," Jim said, "Toby, Aaarrrgghh, Blinky, and NotEnrique are going to brake into his office while we distract him.”

“Okay-” you sighed “-I’ll be home soon.”  

~~~~

“I do not approve of this plan. It lacks a certain ‘killing the changling’ component,” Draal said and you almost agreed. You felt betrayed by the fact that Strickler was out for your brother’s blood.

“I would love to, but not until they locate the bridge, okay? And find out what he wants with me.” Jim sighed, taking out his frustration on the batter he was whisking.

“We could rip off his limbs, make him talk, more like scream,” Draal growled. “Now that sounds like a good plan.”

“No, no ripping anything. My mom...ugh! She kinda likes him.” Jim winced and you heard the front door open. “She’s here, I can't have you busting chops unless it’s a last resort, and only if it’s a last resort.”

“How will I know this “last resort?” Draal asked.

“Okay, If everything’s cool I’ll stomp once. If I run into any trouble I’ll stomp twice. Got it?”

“Two times. Then I tear his limbs.” Jim shook his head and the two of you began to walk upstairs.

“Just stay down here. And no Limb tearing,” you said peeking back down the stairs.

You walked into the hallway and heard your mom talking to Mr. Strickler while Jim glared. “We don’t judge here, all kinds are welcome,” your mom said then walked away to put a bottle of wine in the kitchen.

“Mr. and Ms. Lake,” Strickler said, acknowledging you.

“Mr. Strickler,” you said with false politeness.

“Please, my friends call me Walt,” he said calmly.

“What do your enemies call you?” Jim asked, chuckling. Mr. Strickler walked into the dining room, ignoring him, and your mom joined him. You wrinkled your nose at Mr. Strickler and your mom laughing and you instead went to help Jim in the kitchen.

“The teacher is in the hen house, mission is a go,” Jim was saying to Toby.

“Copy that Trollhunter. I’m waiting at the rendezvous point.” He paused. “I said ‘I’m waiting at the rendezvous point.’ NotEnrique!”

He hung up and you looked at Jim, “Let’s get this over with and try not to die.”

“He won't be able to take the two of us,” Jim reassured and you nodded.

“We’ve got this.”

~~~~

“Yes absolutely. So I said to my co-worker, ‘I brought you a midnight snack.’ Too bad for him he had indigestion for days. Well that’s the problem with eating Italian,” Strickler said, finally finishing his story. You and Jim laughed polightly.

Your mom’s phone began to ring and she stood up. “Oh, I’m sorry, it’s the hospital. I have to take this.”

“Go, go. I’ll try not to bore Jim and Y/n to death,” Mr. Strickler laughed and your face fell into a scowl.

“That’s a funny story you were just talking about,” Jim said.

“Yeah who was it again you were forced to work with?” You asked, trying to bait him.

“The Superintendent's son. He’s a bit bullish,” Strickler said with a meaningful look.

“Bullish, huh, That’s an interesting word. He sounds like a real monster,” Jim said glaring with a smile.

“Yes I know,” Mr. Strickler said, returning the glare.

“You know what?” You inquired, nonchalantly leaning back in your chair.

“I know you know,” Mr. Strickler said.

“How much do you know?” Jim asked, scooting back. He tensed up and you could tell he was getting ready for a fight.

“You didn't know I knew, but now you know, I know.” Mr. Strickler took a bite of food, not breaking eye contact.

“So I guess we all know,” you said, pursing your lips as Jim awkwardly reached for food while trying to keep eye contact.

“Bular called you ‘Young Atlas’ to force this very moment. He told me, ‘if I can't get you to hand over the amulet, I should kill you,” Strickler explained.

“You would kill him in front of our mom?” You asked, scoffing.

“Granted your death might affect our relationship and I don’t know what I would do with you, witch, but I will if I have to,” he snarled.

“Thats funny. I was just thinking the same thing,” Jim snarled in return.  

“Oh hoho, and you did not just call me a witch!” You growled standing up.

“I did and I could call you something worse for causing my impromptu nap at back to school night. So, how about you tell me where the bridge is, and I’ll leave your heads attached to your bodies?” Strickler threatened.

“It seems we each have something the other wants,” Jim said and your mom came out of the kitchen and asked if anyone needed anything. The three of you each asked for a knife, for the steak of course.

The four of you continued to eat your dinner and the air was thick with tension.

“I’m stuffed. I can hardly move,” Jim exclaimed, pushing away his plate when he was done, but he kept his knife.  

“Jim, your cooking alone should warrant you an A,” Strickler commented and your mom excused herself to go get the pie.

The three of you stood up ready to fight. “Give me the amulet,” Strickler barked.

You opened your mouth to say a spell, but the doorbell dinged, interrupting you.

“Why don’t you get it, witch?” Strickler asked and you glared.

“I will, but only because I know Jim can handle you on his own.” You stormed off to the door, hoping to get it over with.

You opened it an inch and slipped outside into the chilly air, slamming it behind you. Once again you didn't check to see who was at the door and how close they were standing so you practically threw yourself into Douxie’s arms.

He steadied you before speaking, “Do you hug anyone who appears on your porch or just the handsome ones?”

“Haha,” you said. “What are you doing here?”

“You left your jacket at the bookstore.” He held it out to you and you smiled, putting it on. It was very nice of him to come and bring it to you. Especially when you would have seen him tomorrow.

“Thank you, but how’d you know where I live?”

“I had to ask around, it took me awhile,” he said, smiling sheepishly and you nodded.

“Well, it was very kind of you. Um, I guess I’ll see you for coffee then?”

“See you then.”

You opened your mouth to say one last thing, but a crash sounded from behind the door.

“What was that?” Douxie asked, reaching for the door knob.

You stepped in front of him. “Oh, it’s probably just Jim he can be so clumsy. He gets it from me. I can be super clumsy too-” Another thud sounded, cutting off your rambling.

“Mordrax's Miracles, what is going on in there?” Douxie leaned to look through your front window before you could block him.

You turned around to thankfully see Jim and Strickler looking normal and sitting down while your mom said something. You sighed in relief, though Douxie’s odd choice of words left you confused.  

“Oh, you’re having dinner.” Douxie seemed satisfied by what he had seen. He turned back to face you.

“Yep, my brother is a fantastic chef. Anyways, thanks for bringing my jacket.”

“Any time.” He turned to walk away, but you heard a loud clattering inside and through instinct opened the door to see the commotion. Douxie stood behind you and your attention turned to Jim who was ‘hugging’ Strickler from behind. They were both kneeling on the ground and you wondered how you would explain that.

“Who is ready for pie? Voila!” Your mom said coming out of the kitchen and breaking the silence. She froze through when she saw Jim and Strickler.  

“Um,” Jim said, looking to you for help, but you shook your head slightly.

“Where is that contact lens? Ah here it is,” Strickler said, creating a cover story.

“I didn’t know you wear contacts,” your mom said.

“There’s a lot you don't know about me,” Strickler replied and you rolled your eyes. Jim stood up from searching and you realized the ‘contact lens’ was in fact his amulet. He nodded to you and you gave a small smile.

Your mom stared into Strickler’s eyes for a second longer and you cleared your throat. “Oh, who’s this?” Your mom asked and you realized Douxie was still standing in the doorway behind you.

“Douxie Casperan, Ma’am. I work with Y/n at the cafe.”

“Well, it’s lovely to meet you, why don’t you join us for dessert,” your mom offered.  

“Oh I don’t want to intrude.”

“No, it’s fine. The more the merrier.” She walked into the dining room and the rest of you followed.

“Be careful with the pie, Jim did not get his chef skills from Mom,” you whispered to Douxie as he sat down next to you.

“Will do,” he whispered back and you smiled. You did your best to eat the pie, but it was as bad as you expected. The rest of the night was spent chatting and Douxie seemed to get along with Strickler as well as you and Jim did, which only endeared Douxie to you more.

Soon though dinner was finally over. You walked Douxie to the door as Jim prepared the leftovers of the pie to give to Strickler.

“So...” you started, not knowing what else to say.

“You have a lovely family. Your father seems interesting.”

“Oh, he is not my father, he and my mom are...friends. I don’t like him much, he’s kinda two-faced,” you said quickly, wrinkling your nose.

“Sorry,” Douxie said, running his hand through his hair.

“It’s fine,” you said. “Maybe one of these days you can join us for my brother’s cooking, I promise it is much better.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” He said then began walking down the street. He looked back and waved goodbye and you waved back, smiling as you leaned on the doorway.

Strickler came up to you after. “He seems nice.”

“Compared to you everyone is nice,” you snarled before your mom got into earshot. You stepped past him to stand next to your mom and Jim, who was holding a blue Tupperware.

“I insist. take it home,” Jim said shoving the Tupperware at Strickler.

“Oh. The recipe would have sufficed,” Strickler said, pained.

“No we insist,” you replied, stepping back so he couldn't hand the Tupperware over to you.

He smiled, resigned. “Good night, Barbara.” He kissed her hand.

Then he turned back to you. “Goodbye Y/n. See you at school, Young Atlas. It should be interesting, now that we’ve gotten to know each other so well.”

“It will be a shame when I don't have you for a teacher anymore,” Jim said, the hidden threat obvious to everyone but your mom.

You closed the door and turned around. “That went well, right?” Your mom asked.

“I don’t know he seemed kinda two-faced to me,” you said, shrugging.

“Two faced?” Your mom asked. You nodded, but your face turned to shock when Draal appeared behind your mom holding an unconscious Claire. He gestured to Claire and shrugged.

“It sounded like you three got along so well...” she turned her head to look but Jim spoke up.

“Honestly he’s not the guy he says he is.” You tried your best to signal Draal to go back downstairs without being too obvious.

“Honey, I know this might be hard for you...” she started focusing on you and Jim again.

Jim interrupted her, “Mom I don’t want you to see him again.” You flinched and nudged Jim. You didn’t like Strickler either, but telling your mom that would only anger her.

“Yeah? I really expected more from you.” She said and walked into the kitchen, thankfully not noticing Draal who had gone back into the basement.  

You turned to Jim and whispered, “I’ll talk to Mom and you go take care of Claire. I hate Strickler just as much as you do, but you hurt her feelings.”

“Okay. I'm sorry.”

“You did a good job tonight Jim.”

“Thanks Y/n.” He went to the basement and you went into the kitchen.

“Hey mom.” You saw her standing and holding her head.

“I don’t know what to do, Y/n.”

“Trust your heart, Mom. I know you will work things out, but it might just take time.” She hugged you then pulled away.

Smiling, she said, “So your friend.”

“What about him?” You asked slowly.

“Well, not many guys go to your house just to return a jacket.”

“Well, Douxie is incredibly chivalrous,” you responded, feeling embarrassed.

“Mhmm,” was all your mom said.

****

Here ya go. I feel like the creators missed an opportunity with back to school night so I decided to include it in this chapter. Anyways, I hope you liked it and are excited for more! Have a fantastic day/night and stay safe!!

P.S. if you want to be on the taglist feel free to ask. I hope it works and please message me if it doesn't.

Chapter 6: https://writings-of-a-daphodil.tumblr.com/post/627768929717288960/fire-keeper-chapter-6

[goddamnmuses-a]

Dan Watches: Star Wars: Episode II - Attack Of The Clones

Alright so I did this for Episode I which you can find here. So.. here’s my weird.. live reaction/note taking/whatever this is.. to Episode ll. 

Alright so.. Once again the opening crawl is very politicy. 

Count Dooku I think is mentioned for the first time in it and Padme becomes a Senator instead of a Queen in it.. which.. is weird. 

The Naboo ships im not sure about.. I like the design but they seem too new and clean for being a prequel. That said they are owned by royalty so i can let it slide i guess. 

“I guess i was wrong, there was no danger at all” *EXPLOSION* ffs Jeff, you couldn’t keep your mouth shut? 

Nooooooo! Not.. Cordey? Omfg that was the worst death i’ve ever seen. Terribly acted. 

Ayy it’s the Jedi avengers, no but like why is like i presume the whole or half the jedi council in this meeting? Shouldn’t they have like 1 representative? 

Yooo thats live action Barriss Offee in the back... hey girrrll ;) 

actually she’s probably supposed to be like 13 or somehting so i take that back. 

 I love just all the traffic flying by the window

YOOOO it’s my boy Jar Jar aka Darth Plagueis the Wise, don’t @ me. 

Spice mines on the moon of Naboo you say? Isn’t Spice a drug but you mine for it.. there are drug miners in Star Wars.. good stuff. 

That elevator would be terrifying. 

Obiwan just like.. LOL I fell into a nest of Gundarks.. what a character I am. .. Love him. 

Anakin like “I haven’t seen her since i was underaged master.. now i can  get my fuck on!”

ALSO ITS BEEN 10 YEARS!?

“Ani you’ll always be that little boy” *Police sirens*

Anakins a little bitch

I think Jar Jar’s ears things are much longer.. but might just be me imagining things. 

She’s not forgotten you, she said your name.. you creep. 

Heeyy look it’s your custom star wars character Zam. 

Obiwan is so sassy

Anakin is pretty creepy towards Padme. 

Those worm things are naasty

Yo tbf that was some smooth lightsabering, they were like an inch tall and right up on Padme and he didnt even hurt her accidentally. I’d have killed her there. 

Obiwan just fucking dives out the window like its nothing. Mad man. 

Zam is the worst, instead of shooting Obiwan she shoots her own damn droid. 

Damn it Anakin, he’s told you to stay away from power couplings. 

Obiwan is just gonna be like “FFS ANAKIN!” this entire movie... well.. Saga. 

I wonder how Jedi pick their robes because like some are very similar and then theres like a few that have darker leather stuff, it’s like there’s a jedi stylist or something.. Someone make that OC. 

 Amazing catch Obi. 

So Obiwan is his real name but he goes by Ben later on and then Ben Solo is named after him but shouldn’t it be Obiwan Solo? 

A changeling, she really is a custom character. 

Yoo that Twilek wasn’t stupidly thin, I’m here for Thicc Twilek. 

What species is Death Stick guy! I wanna know what he does with his life after he rethinks it

I hope it backfires and he’s like “Hey.. I could be doing so much more” and he ends up like the head of a crime family. 

She didnt even change.. so much for changeling. 

....she did when she died i take it back. 

Damn the background Jedi are ugly. 

I like how this shows that Palpatine has already begun manipulating Anakin. 

Still dont understand why Jedi see the balance being a good thing when it’s leaning heavily towards the light side right now. 

Anakin “IM READY FOR THE TRIALS!” .. you aint. You a moody bitch.

I like Padme’s dress. 

Anakin just got warned to back down because he’s being a creep. 

Omfg whats that rape face. 

Dormy or whatever her name is, better actress than Padme. 

Poncho! Cal approves. 

WOO ITS DEX!

Jawa Juice? Ew.

Wtf is the Rishi maze?

Dex suddenly went sinister at the end, why? 

Yess the librarian! She’s the best. I think she has a badass Order 66 story if im remembering correctly. 

She’s very sure about her records though.. calm down lady. 

“No droids” says the droid to the other droid. 

So i presume the head of the Jedi Council is always the one who looks after the younglings. 

Awwh the little babies and they’re all gonna get killed by Creep Vader. 

Yoda is so soft, good dad figure. Best boy. 

They elect queens on Naboo.. thats interesting. 

I love the Jedi fighter look. 

HOLD THE FUCK UP THEY DIDNT KNOW ABOUT KAMINO 

THERE WAS A FUCKING LONG NECKY ALIEN ON THE JEDI COUNCIL IN EP 1.. 

.... some bullshit. 

I should really look into Sifo Dyas

And Why are there not more Clones in Star Wars... 

Other than like.. .. spoilers for.. you know what nevermind. 

I DONT LIKE SAND! HE SAID THE THING

Anakin you creep

Why the fuck would Padme even lean in at all? He’s been nothing but a creep and she’s shown 0 interest in him at all so far. 

The Camino people are pretty chill. 

That was the first bit of actual chemistry between Padme and Anakin 

Omfg the pear, fuck off. 

Also forgot to comment but theres some clear like.. oohhhhhh moments im having with how order 66 got set up. 

Has Padme had an outfit change again?

She���s got her sexy outfit on to turn him down.. seems right. 

Her make up is a bit.. much

Sooo the force is weaker with the jedi because the light sides had it so good for so long that the force is trying to balance out and bring it back the other way, makes sense. 

It’s actually his connection to his mom that brings him towards the darkside to start.. nice. 

Padme trying to be inconspicuous is super conspicuous 

I like that the droid said okey dokey. 

YAAAAAAAAAAAAY WATTO

YAAAAY ANI SPEAKING HUTTESE

I love how Watto is happy to see Ani. 

Watto doesn’t deserve the shitty life he ended up with. 

Love some New Zealander up in my Star Wars. 

Seismic charges have such good sound design. 

Thats one hell of a missile. 

Eyyyyy it’s c3p0 it’s amazing how much i’d forgot of this. 

Tusken Raiders are dicks. They know sign language but they’re dicks. 

Even Anakin is like “These are good people”, good. They’ll raise your son. 

Is that general grevious’ voice? 

What the fuck are these aliens

Awwwh noooo she waited just to die in her sons arms. 

Tbf i’d go full darkside if someone tortured my mom. 

You know what.. this Ani is nothing like the ones from the cartoon, he seems like less of a whiney bitch in the clone wars but we’ll see.. 

Cleg Lars’ hover chair is pretty dope. 

Anakin got over hating Obi Wan real quick. 

Even captured Obiwan is a sassy boy. 

Jar Jar as badass as he is.. is basically putting the Sith Lord in charge. 

So far if you dont know that palpatine is the Sith there isnt really anything obvious telling you which is pretty interesting. 

Padme has had another outfit change, another iconic look. 

And so behind the adventures of r2 and c3po

C3PO had a costume change, he’s been watching Padme. 

The fake out they have you thinking Padme is covered in magma is pretty good

Okay then suddenly she loves him.

Also bye bye lightsaber

Genosians are pretty gross

In my head they were always the same as Toydarians for some reason

I like that bug monster, i remember killing them in one of the older battlefront games.. as maybe Aayla Sekura but maybe i made that up. 

Anakin surely got the best one to fight. He basically tames it.

The fucking peck on the cheek, was that needed? 

Droidekas are still cool as fuck. 

Suddenly Jedi. 

The Jedi that made it up to Dooku is terrible, he cant even reflect a few blaster blasts.

Well.. Jango lost his head. 

The smile on that green jedi’s face is beautiful, what a beautiful alien man. Kit Fisto.

Obiwan is an icon. 

Dooku is pretty reasonable all things considered. 

Woo clones!

“Around the survivors, a perimiter, create.” Yoda.. just speak normally damnit. 

Yoo what if Jaro Tapal shows up in the new Clone Wars cartoon season.. i’d lose my shit. 

I like Dooku’s bike. 

Anakin you dumb fuck. 

I always thought Dooku’s curved lightsaber was weird. 

Rey should have done this sick ass catching the lightning trick instead of the two lightsabers. 

Jedi flips all over the place woop. 

As obvious as it is that Palpatine is the hooded Sith, i feel like they dont show his full face because i feel like a little kid might not be able to tell. 

I kinda like how it shows a bunch of clones (the basic start of the stormtrooper) and then star destroyers and it’s like.. heres where the empire started. 

Aaaaaand they’re married? so yeah.. congrats Ani you creeped your way into being a husband. 

[chaostwofold]

1-41 on the asks? Also gn

1. if you were to have Hanahaki disease, what flowers would you cough up?

Morning glories!! not only are they already my favorite flower, theyre extremely toxic and mean unconditional love! i have a tendency to fall for the wrong people and not realize until after,, BUT thats only half and half!! some people i loved unconditionally and contine to love them and others set me back in the recovery process,,

2. if someone were to catch Hanahaki disease for you, what flowers would they cough up?

Begonias id assume? not only are hanahaki flowers supposed to represent your feelings, they should also represent the person. begonias are known for misfortune, dark/unpleasant thoughts, and caution to new situations. on the flip side, its harmonious communications, understanding, and gratitude.

3. if you were any historic trope, what would you be? (i.e., the knight, the town baker, the witch of the forest, etd.)

hm. well, what about the urchin whos actually a prince? someone who originates from grand places, a great misfortune turns them into something undesirable and possibly bitter, and then when theyre brought back to the light of stability they provide for those who are in the same situation as he was

4. tell us about your ideal battle outfit

im long range magic tactics and healing always bc im too afraid of conflict :pensive: but the closest thing would probably be something flexible but strong, in black and the more sensitive areas like the neck and thighs covered more carefully (read: shadowhunter gear)

5. what would you be a god/goddess of and what would people sacrifice to you?

change on an emotional and mental plane. they would sacrifice those who refuse to change for the better. i determine what is better, and if they choose the wrong person to sacrifice they would pay depending on why they attempted to sacrifice someone who didnt deserve it.

6. name five iconic quotes that make you feel things.

“there is a difference between wisdom and intelligence... a person may have one without the other.” is an all time favorite from my favorite book The Soulforge by Margret Weis!!!!!!!

“plant your trees and watch them grow.” OUGH

 “There is a thin semantic line separating the weird and the beautiful. and that line is covered in jellyfish.” NIGHTVALE

“Ive been good sir / so very very good for what? / and ive given you / every single thing ive got / its feeling strange man / this whole arrangement / is gonna end with / me totally deranged” From Disobedient, from su:tm!!! it slaps man

“ What do you want from me? Why don't you run from me? / What are you wondering? What do you know? / Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me?” Ah. billie eilish ily

7. scythe, battle axe, broad sword, spear or trident?

Scythe! the weapon of fate and peace,, it is used to reap the souls of those deemed to die and its used for harvesting crops!! the end of all thngs, its a graceful and symbolical weapon.

8. what combination of natural scents would you use as perfume?

Vaniila, star anise, and clary sage

9. ancient scrolls or leather-bound books?

leather bound books!!

10. describe yourself as if you were a storm.

a cyclone, probably. something threatening on the outside but extremely calm on the inside.

11. what type of flower (other than a rose) would you offer someone you were trying to court?

amaryllis, which is splendid beauty and worth beyond beauty

12. honey in milk or cinnamon in tea?

cinnamon in tea!!!

13. cabin in the woods, apartment in the city or mansion in the suburbs?

apt in the city

14. curtains of beads or lace?

bead curtains!!! retro AND can be like “hoohoo welcome to my brewery pick your literal poison im a witch”

15. vocal or instrumental music?

yall know i could never pick,, music is too much of an intimate thing too be taken lightly (whch is one of the reasons i have a burning hatred for jokey nursery rhymes like baby shark)

16. describe your ideal fantasy outfit

SOBS okay so. ough it depends man. i rlly like the idea of like. ponchos and shawls n stuff,,, id prolly go for a witch in the woods ngl (the prince REPRESENTS me the best but. witch of the dark woods is my aesthetic) so prolly like a heavy green shawl over a black shirt and jeans and combat boots or smth,,, i WOULD have a flower crown of poisonous flowers, yes

Changeling or shapeshifter definitely!! to be able to constantly change form in super mecore

18. hard candy, fruit preserves or spice cake?

fruit preserves

19. show us an a picture of your ideal crown.

you all knew it was gonna happen ( its a mountain laurel!! poisonous. of course)

20. tying your hair up using ribbon, yay or nay?

my hair is WAY too short for that but i used to do it when i had longer hair and its a definite yay

21. an evening in the forest with elves, a night in the caves with vampires or a morning in the garden with fae?

an evening in the forest with elves or a morning in the garden with fae!! i cant decide man,,, if it had been a night in a victorian castle w vamps i wouldve been tied w that too but caves are a dwarven thing

22. tell us, in detail, about a curse a witch would put on you.

hm. maybe like. a true self thing? where im forced to say what i mean, i cant say sorry for things im not sorry for, i have to say when things make me uncomfy, i just become less timid (the witch who cursed me got pissed off bc i said sorry too much and didnt answer questions properly)

23. talking with sylphs or singing with nymphs?

talking with sylphs prolly??? i dunno man ive always loved sylphs ngl

24. mint, rosemary, basil or sage?

def mint

25. favorite childhood story? (doesn’t have to be a fairy tale)

what childhood lmao (honestly?? i loved reading the grim fairytales just over and over)

26. tell us about an experience you’ve had that seemed unreal or supernatural. (doesn’t have to be scary)

uhhh one time i was accused of witchcraft bc i was “guessing” peoples fav colours at a christian summer camp and our supervisors asked me to stop bc it was freaking them out bc im not christian (i had them close their eyes, think of their colour, and i would see it bc id close my eyes) OH also one time luke spoiled some pl stuff bc he was thinking abt the spoiler too loudly

27. would you rather have poison or healing ointment in your traveling pack?

oh healing def!! i already know a bunch of native poisonous plants so itll b fine

28. tell us three sayings that you live by.

only two chances for everyone, and then i cut them off entirely

cringe culture is dead. the only cringy people are assholes

hurt luke youre dead

29. vials or mason jars?

no. no. you CANNOT make me pick. its illegal

30. describe your ideal masquerade ball outfit (mask included).

uh! moss green, its a onepiece thats baggy and tied with a golden decorative rope at the waist and tightened at the ankles!! its loose at the sleeves and the shoulders are showing whereas the neck is turtled!! there are designs showing black mambas and lilies of the valley (poisonous...). the mask is black and covers my right eye, with subtle smooth scales on it.

31. splashing around in a river with mermaids or flying through the sky with harpies?

BOTH are p mean uh. i said sylphs earlier so ig ill go mermaids??? plus im afraid of heights

32. what would you end up in the dungeon for?

as the royal magician/wizard/witch/alchemist/magic jester? calling the royal family out on their bullshit

33. if you were a fairy, what color would your wings be?

they would be black owls wings!!! (if you meant pixies, like tinkerbell, you shouldve said pixies fam :pensive:)

34. if you could have any magical item, what would it be?

deaths cloak or a truth charm to get people to tell me, you guessed it, the truth

35. what song would the bards sing about you when you passed by?

a song about grim ends ad new beginnings.

36. would you rather be a pirate or a king/queen?

royalty! so i can fuck shit up from the inside

37. would you spend more time in the field of flowers, the tavern, the docks or the marketplace?

field of flowers or marketplace!! seeing the things people create and natural beauty and solitude are both wonderful

38. would you have a painting of yourself?

a modest one with a very dark palette, with my eyes painted a gleaming golden.

39. what skill are you famous for?

i talk rlly fast

40. if you could live any fairy tale, which one would you?

im not sure,, 

41. stained glass windows or fairy lights?

FAIRYLIGHTSFAIRYLIGHTSFAIRYLIGHTS

[nebulawriter]

Annhilation

This is as close to a Changeling: The Lost movie as we’re ever going to get, isn’t is?

Overview: Smart movie, I probably want to watch it exactly once more to try and figure out some details, but it’s definitely more of a think-y movie than a sit-down-and-enjoy-stuff movie. But it IS imaginitive, visually stunning, thematically cohesive, and...a little horrifying. Like. More horrifying than I am traditionally comfortable with. 

Note: this review turned more film analysis-ish than even I intended, so I apologize to those on mobile.

Like, as much of a sci-fi nerd as I am, sci fi horror stuff is almost always too much for me. I just can’t handle the gore and jump scares. Because of this, I don’t have INCREDIBLE experience with this kinda genre stuff, so I don’t have a good measuring stick to judge this as well. 

In fact, I MIGHT have not seen this one all together if it weren’t for a) the all-lady cast, b) Tessa Thompson c) the weird shiny fantasy look to everything and d) I have moviepass now and it doesn’t cost me any extra to go to it. 

I think I should do brief summary in case you’re reading this without seeing it for some reason, but uh, SPOILERS. Lena is a former soldier turned biology professor whose husband stayed in the military and went MIA (arguably KIA) about a year ago. And she’s not over it. Then, *GASP* he comes home, but he’s super out of it and sick, and he and she are both immediately captured by weird agents. There, a psychologist named Ventress shows her the Shimmer, a place off the coast that’s changing weird stuff, and no matter what they send in, nothing comes out. Except Lena’s husband Kane. She meets a team of cool lady scientists who are going in, and signs up, hoping to find a cure for her husband. They go in, there’s weird mind-fuckery, there is constant debate over if this is really happening or if they’re going insane, Lena finds clues left by her husband, 2 people get eaten by a bear, one person....turns into a tree I think? And finally they reach the lighthouse, the center of the incidents. Dr, Ventress explodes?ish? and then theres a LOOOOOT of mindfuckery, and I think I get like....60% of it? but, in the end, the lighthouse gets burned down and the shimmering stops. Kinda. 

So! Annhilation. I’m going to go broad and whittle down for the review, going from themes into characters and plot. Annhilation is about one particular concept really that, like all good sci-fi, is over-exaggerated into the fantastical. Today’s concept is Self-Destruction. Specifically this gets focused onto cancer and suicide, and both of these themes are sot of....mutated together, not unlike the creatures in this film. I know it wasn’t but I really hope the shark-crocodile was in the pitch for this movie, like “It’s a think piece movie with a mutant shark crocodile. Money please.”

See, there’s a weird thing about Self-destruction, mirrored in this film, of, is it outside forces, or was it internal, something inside you? And that is the question this movie continues to pose, is the cause internal, or external? 

Now lets look at the characters. The team, minus Lena, was chosen because they all had issues in their lives, and so were not going to be too terrible to lose in the likely event they died going into the shimmer, just like all the previous teams were chosen (this is important)

We’ll go in death-order, starting with Cass, and....kinda Anya. Cass clearly lost a daughter to Leukimia. There’s a story in here that I don’t know if I just caught onto subtext, or missed the reveal, but I’m 70% sure her partner at the time was in fact Anya, (Anya’s canonically wlw, Cass mocks her for hitting on Lena, maybe a bit too passive aggressively, Anya was most distressed by Cass’s death) Now, Anya’s problem was drinking and drugs, likely taken up after their daughter’s death. Through that, Cass left her, and now they’re on this mission together, and likely going to die. So there we have, self destruction before now. Their daughter��s death: External, outside of their control. Anya’s drinking, though, is her choice, how she chose to handle it: Internal. Cass leaving Anya, leaving them both completely alone: Internal. Kind of. 

Cass’s fear she talked about with Lena, getting her to choose to come out first when Lena and Ventress sense trouble. Internal, her choice, almost, but a reasonable one. The bear eating her, obviously External. 

Then, Anya becomes a villain of the piece, blaming Lena for Cass’s death. Internal choice, she suspects Lena, going through her things. External, she finds out Lena HAS been lying about her connection to the soldier Kane, and could very well have gone insane and been the one to kill Cass. Internal choice: She ties up her teammates, trying to determine if they’re crazy, but now we have an interesting pickle, don’t we. Are they crazy, or is SHE crazy for tying them up. 

In my opinion, neither, while they’re all under enormous amounts of stress, and their bodies are LITERALLY changing, it doesn’t seem to be having a direct influence on their sanity. there is logic in Anya’s actions, and Lena’s and everyone’s. but it just...clashes in traumatic ways. 

Finally, Anya hears Cass’ voice. External. She goes to chase it. Internal. It’s actually a horrifying bear monster that eats her. External. 

Moving onto Josie. In a team full of scientists, she’s the nerd, which is sweet, but she’s also overly shy and doesn’t much speak up. Cass informs Lena, and us, that she has self-harm scars on her arms. This is pretty clear-cut (pun not intended I swear) self-destruction. But Cass also states, she wasn’t trying to kill herself. She was trying to live. 

We’re never given a reason for Josie’s self-harm, but...and here’s where it gets a bit personal....as someone who’s struggled with self-harm in the cutting sense, I get it. It’s not about wanting to die. It’s trying to find something to live for. 

Josie throughout the film doesn’t feel like she has that, which is why she’s chosen for the assignment. 

Her fate is the....least clear, though its heavily implied she turns into one of the plant people, a statue. In this sense, she gets to live. She chooses this fate, in some ways, choosing to become part of the shimmering world rather than die in it like Cass and Anya. I think. There’s also her decision to save Lena by killing the weird demon bear, an internal choice, which I’m guessing plays into that, but. thats a bit more detailed for me. 

Now, Dr. Ventress. Ventress is the psychologist who’s been sending people into the shimmer, choosing people who fit the profile of nothing to lose, choosing them, and sending each and every one of them to die. Internal choice, causing extreme guilt. Then, she gets cancer. Sort of an external force. Kinda. Cancer is a weird disease, really. It’s not something attacking you, going in, ripping out your guts and destroying you. No, it’s...it’s you. Its your body, just....making more of itself, doing it’s job to keep you living, but it works overtime, taking over the REST of your body, until it destroys itself. Its a scary condition Hollywood LOVES to use, because it is TERRIFYING and REAL to the general public. Almost everyone knows someone whose had some type of cancer. For me, my mother had Thyroid cancer, and to this day, I am at risk of that from having genes with her, not to mention having ovarian cysts that could turn into cancer if I don’t monitor it and control it. You wanna know how they confirm and monitor your ovarian cysts? Its Not. Pleasant. Everyone has seen the way Cancer destroys lives, and if I were to put money on it, I’d guess one or multiple of the creators of this movie has seen it too. 

Anyway, VENTRESS. She’s going to die no matter what, so she decides to lead this exposition and find the cause of all this craziness thats been killing the people she chooses. Internal choice. She pushes onward, no matter the deaths of her comrades until she reaches the lighthouse.

And then. Weird. Fucking. Shit. Happens. She...finds the source of all this...ish. An alien comet. Kind of. And she says it’s....inside her...the annhilation. AND THEN SHE FUCKING EXPLODES. AND IMPLODES. Sort of both? A light comes out of her and she like...is made into this fiery ball of changing cells and. I don’t. What the fuck. 

*ahem* whatever the fuck that was, I think a combination of implosion and explosion kinda ties back to internal vs external cause pretty decently. 

Now, Kane and Lena. At the beginning, we’re shown that they had a wonderful marriage, full of smiles and happiness. But....later through flashbacks we’re shown...not necessarily so great. Kane is gone a lot on assignment. This leads Lena to having an affair. Kane finds out and gets assigned to the shimmer assignment. So is it Lena’s fault Kane went? Kane’s fault for Lena’s affair? In the end, neither of them, of course, are fully capable of the other’s actions, but, there’s a contributing factor. Internal choices combined with External forces. 

We only see clips of Kane’s mission, film he left behind. In the first film, what I think happens because I couldn’t watch all of it, was him cutting open one of his teammates, right in the stomach. Once it’s open, we see....something....moving inside the man. Anya’s convinced it’s a trick of the light, and that Kane went insane. While it’s true that he never explains himself, like I said, beyond stress we don’t see much indication that these people are “crazy” or hallucinating or anything. The man being cut doesn’t scream, he knows what’s going to happen. Kane and the other living soldier are Concerned. More likely, they were getting footage of what was moving in him as data, data that later teams could hopefully find. 

Now as for what the thing WAS??? I’m not sure. Partially because I was COVERING MY EYES CAUSE A GUY WAS BEING CUT OPEN but partially because I think it could be one of 2 things: 1, a snake that had got inside him (external) or 2, his LITERAL ORGANS coming to life (internal)

Lena makes similar observations. She samples her own blood, seeing that it’s being mutated. She convinces Anya and Josie to keep pushing ahead, both for logical reasons, and somewhat tricking them, because she still hasn’t found what she wants: answers about what happened to her husband. And oh she gets them. Back to the trippy finale. 

See, she finds a tape of Kane blowing himself up. On this tape he shows far more signs of mental instability, but that makes sense as its then shown that the man behind the camera? Also Kane. A duplicate of him, specifically. The duplicate’s existence seems to cause Kane’s distress, causing him to doubt himself. External force. But he blows up the grenade. Internal choice. Here we come to the suicide aspect. Was it really too much to handle? He professed his love to Lena in the end, so did her affair influence his choice? It certainly caused the duplicate to come to her. 

Finally, Lena gets a duplicate made of herself, after Ventress explode/implodes. It mimics her...imperfectly. She attacks it, it attacks her. Not to mention she passes out several times in the fight, so we, the audience, lose track of her. whenever it 

And in the CLEAREST METAPHOR FOR SELF DESTRUCTION I’ve ever seen Lena (?) EXPLODES HER DUPLICATE. Like???? do I need to explain that one???

Okay now onto the murky ending. Kane is suddenly better! but he says...he doesn’t think he’s Kane, preeetty much confirming he’s the alien created duplicate. And Lena....Lena doesn’t say if she’s the duplicate or the real one. I don’t think she knows. And while the change in her eyes would indicate, no, she’s the duplicate....I’m less sure. Is she Lena, affected and changed by the alien? Or the alien, affected and changed by Lena? Does it matter?

Oh but we’re not done yet. Now, for the last character, who I’m dubbing “Annhilation.” It’s the alien, the cause, the sci-fi part of this film. The alien is....cancer, on the land, almost directly. The comet hits the lighthouse. External force. But....

As “Lena” Says at the end, it....it doesn’t destroy, not really. It changes. It changes what was already there. It mimics, imperfectly. The WORLD is self-destructing itself, the comet is just....the catylyst. like Cancer. It’s your own cells that are actually being destructive.

In the end, Loxam smiles after Lena finishes telling her story. “So, it was aliens.” as if that answers everything. 

And...yes? but it wasn’t....trying to kill. It...started something in the world and killed itself. “What did it want” Loxam asked. Self-Destruction is not that simple. Like, it changed things but...all the destruction, REAL destruction, was either self-inflicted (Kane) or inflicted from the beasts in the world (the bear and crocodile)

Self harm....in any of it’s forms.....is strange. It goes against out biological functions, but....it also goes with them. It doesn’t make logical sense, it never has. But there’s only one way to get through it, if at all possible. It’s how Kane, fake or not, got back. And How Lena got back. 

The others, all of them, had nothing to live for. They were WILLING to be possibly killed on this mission, thats why they were chosen. Lena, though, Lena had a goal. She wanted to get out, She wanted to save her husband. She had something to live for.

I do have a negative thing about this showing of self harm, or....i don’t know, maybe a thing I’m not clear on. All throughout, destruction is...made beautiful. sorta. Bodies are arranged in patterns, plants grow out the sides of crumbled buildings and...i don’t know....how I feel about that.....I just. I don’t know. 

ANYWAY in conclusion, very well done movie, if a bit confusing at times, Glad one of the poc didn’t die first, though was sad the lesbians also died. though. They kinda all died. so. at least we got the representation at all? 

So yeah. Sorry for the book report, but I hope it was mildly entertaining?

[kiwibirdlafayette]

I was up for almost 24 hours straight at a band sleepover/social after our marching show and I had an ephiphany/theory about season 2 using spoilers from the trailer and wild assumptions dont come at me for this im tellin u right now I came up with this sleep deprived ill put a cut in case

What if reason Dictatious went to the side of Gunmar had something to do with the actions Blinky and/or Aaarrrgghh?

Part of me realizes that its most likely he went Gunmar’s side because well hes an asshole and a traitor boy but?? what if it wasn’t by his own choice, but like- brainwashing?? because it kinda confuses me and im probably misinterpreting stuff but w/e

Think about it- the way Blinky portrays his brother (by his memory) makes Dictatious out to be a fairly noble troll who seemed like pretty dedicated to the pursuit of knowledge that for him to just go to Gunmar and be like “cool leader” and presumably fake his death (??maybe) seems somewhat uncharacteristic for him to just go and pull something like that out of the blue

Then there’s Gunmar- ya boi just lost his good big green son and Bular’s outside so he need a new friend?? whO BETTER TO KIDNAP THEN SOME SMART BOY??? Its kinda hard to determine the credibility of this scenario since we don’t know the timeline of like the war (when Aaarrrgghh defected, Gunmar was sealed, Dictatious joined them, etc.)

bUT LIKE- what if Dictatious turned to the GummGumms for the sake of sacrificing himself for the good of all things? It’s made clear that like GummGumms can make trolls do things they dont want to (think Changelings) through im guessing mental manipulation so either they took Dictatious and did such things or he sacrificed himself and stuff happened

I mean- if you look at his eyes in that poster ya boi still got pupils its like really light though?? it could just be adaptation to living in the dark but trolls live underground and even in Trollmarket im sure it’d be dark I can’t explain these glowing eyes but that’ll be another post maybe im struggling already to stay on topic and not go off on a tangent

the scar marks too?? wh AT

And even if we ignore all this what might have been Dictatious’s motives for betraying Blinky (and everyone else) in the first place? Typically, betrayal comes as a result of having reservations about the current system of authority and I can’t even begin to think why Dictatious would have evil intentions to begin with considering several factors unless he had evil intentions to begin with (aka the Galadrigals?? were??? gUMM GUMMS??? TO START WITH???) and Blinky’s the traitor?? (as in he knew Aaarrrgghh from longer ago and they defected together what what wha t where is my mind going uksnkdnfv.skfnb)

anyways thats all I have for now whether or not any of this is relevant will remain-

U N S O L V E D (until dec 15th lmao)

[la-mise-en-abime]

my heart yearns for you, i never wanted to be comic, i always thought it would be better to be funny in real life and not have to muster it and waste it on stage, and have people be surprised when you weren't as funny in real life, i always found that dissapointing when it happened to me, like that person was an apparition of themselves an empty shell. And wow I've come to realise how sad this existence is, or maybe its just the pattern of believing in your self, there are certainly dips. my heart yearns for you and i think fuck, was i supposed to have gone with you, was i supposed to have been all these things, what if we’d never met. I hope I can separate myself from you and form my own being, we were growing together and were not growing apart yet but maybe i need a change. This year has been weird, so wonderful, and so weird, and now maybe i am feeling the repercussions of your change, i am really feeling what you are feeling as one amoeba, we obviously share a bladder that has been said before so the urinary tract is suffering, but it hurts to feel your mundainity, it hurts to see you in your ordinary pain, your extraordinary pain in your ordinary life, it hurts me to think maybe you are not special, you are not just a special magical spelll that has reeked havoc on my life and make me question what holes i want it in. You are special, but if the world doesn’t notice so and treats you like shit i wont stand by it, ill stand with you, im sure what else I can do, will do. I dont want them spreading. our message so falsely for their own gain, i dont want coffee drunk over us and laughed over us, at our expense and sexual fetishes and smiles and dimples and rude finger gestures and shrugs and pleas and questions and examinations and cuts and bruises and cuts and no questions and spit in your face. Id rather not that thank you, id really rather not. I dont care what i am, just in relation to you always in relation to you. omg the fucking car alarm wont shut the fuck up, please shut the fuck up screaming like a fucking attention seeking cunt shut up, thank you. I was scared they would rape you, im still scared they will rape you, and i dont wants o be subtle anymore, I m scared they will fist you and put things inside you and pull your trousers down and laugh and bend you over a car and fuck you and fuck you hard, and im scared i want that, no i dont but I can imagine it vividly, has it happened somewhere in my memory before. I remember crying very hard over that film boys dont cry in tigers arms, sobbing and gasping like when i used to have tantrums, once a huge one in a video store andi couldn’t breathe i was crying so hard, and my dad said, T everyone can hear you, look they're all looking at you, take a deep breath and bap bap bap like fish inhale all that air and exhale very slowly, (later he said so your mouth looks like an asshole) but fuck those people that were looking at me he just shouldnt have made me fucking cry and it felt good and distressing to cry that much.

when we first met, the first night i called you she so many times when i was talking about you to other people, i had to keep correcting myself like i had terrets or something (that fucking car alarm) she, he, she, he, she, he. You didn't realise you have subsequently told me, but i rememeder it clearly, i was so drunk I could nt get it right, and you were the first trans person i had met knowingly, when you first told me you joked it about it, that seemed to be your method at the time, haha yeah, im basically just becoming a teenager, im about 13 in T years, i was like who is this creature who is telling me this there was subtle tone of vulnerability in how you explained it as if to say please accept this floating skin of myself that rests just above our heads, any sudden movements will frighten it off and i complied with this thing in front of me, kept it floating warily above our heads, as i fell in love with you. but your smile was golden, you were soft like the butches i had seen before, that negative space you *cant couldn’t touch where femininity and masculinity come close but don’t touch. the softness of fat under you shirt and the way you sweat and knowing there was something vulnerable in your pants, something I knew so much of and also nothing. this was stepping into another realm. I felt almost ashamed as if i was leading you on and you were so shiny and soft I knew you wanted more, but i was scared of you. i think i was terrified. of what you represented.

i was so scared of getting it wrong I did the most research ever before i met you again. how to give a clit orgasm , trans porn, top surgery, bottom surgery, fucking buzz feed all to find you somewhere, but you weren't there, you were new born, fresh into this world, thats why it felt like a lie, its affects creep up on you and for a long time you are lying to the world and proving it and i knew so much yet i would blow on your skin and, nothing. as i see you then you were more of a man than ever so pushed into a box, as so much of it is, to parade something you cant even have the grasp of to explain, to someone, your grounding on this earth in a matter of facial muscles and sounds originating from the mouth and lines and lumps in the right place flattened down that could have restricted your breathing as we slept and i said how lovely your back was because you wouldnt take it off you. Wouldn't let me see you like that it could have killed you in your sleep left me kissing a dead back i cant I cant. So for a while I could have been your fairy. your keeper even your comforter i did not exist because you did not hold me back, give yourself to me and**** i asked you in the dark of night do you like being licked out, do you like getting oral sex, do you use dildos, where do you not want me to touch, i thought you didn't want me to put my mouth there because it was wrong, it was weird, overgrown stump of what a pearl was, oh how i was wrong and you loved it and i too, i thought you might want me to suck on that appendage that innocent bystander that plastic thing that was never asked if it wanted to go in the dark place alone with no light, want me to lick it and suck it and look up at you while i did it like in the films, cause i would have done anything to get you off, and i did, but you let me put the overgrown pearl in my mouth let me pull it and suck it and let it rithe in my mouth furry stubborn pearl rolling on the sea bed, under bed under my tongue it would grow and wither and chip into my head visions of another world where I had never been and we would have to take an underground river to get to.

i remember the night it happened in that small space we called a bed the squeaked and the heating sounded like it was having a hight pitched breakdown, i was going to party that was prom themed and dressed up with lipstick over my top lip and all around my mouth and a wig and a dress and the whole time i was getting ready i was thinking of it happening, i was terrified i was going to get it wrong, id never done it, what if i would never get it right cause it wasn't the right genital substance for me, what if it was embaressing and i would have to go home with my tail between my legs not a true lesbian, straight person, person of lesbian tendencies, individual or something, someone that could not give another person what they both wanted to be given. i dont know I really didn't know, all I knew was that i looked fucking brilliant, and no one else was dressed up as per usual, so fuck them, and it gave me that sense of brilliance that everyone is judging you and you dont care.

and now they tell me a changeling is an old fairy that takes the place of a human baby an old stubborn baby that clings onto life promising its youth to all those around it that makes more sense when i call you a changeling when i call you a changeling that has been swapped at birth if only you didn't have a belly button or you had two sets of eye lids, or a second skin, but you do have strange belly button piercing from another life well say its an alien marking it i like putting my finger in it so hairy and soft and i get stapled in the mind when i know you were a teenage girl, and it turns me on and it scares me you will see that in my eyes. it makes sense that the old fairy would have seen the land and its folds to have a sense of knowing the cradle is where it should reside for the rest of its days not shuffle along in the mud with fairy toes all wet. you told me to put my toes in the sand, it felt so wrong and like they were being licked that time, in Edinburgh, a large man in an animal state licked my toes and it felt so good i let go of everything, but it comes so natural to you , to look at the sea and see answers, im almost playing to your state so you feel more comfortable in your natural environment if i am repulsed. the way people do that sometimes in order to appease the other, was it unnatural for me not to be amazed, you do annoy me when you are that pure(goldstar). i look as if i have corrupted you from your chosen path, perhaps you will go back there someday, back to the beach and think of me and you'll be at home cause i wont be teasing you, you'll be done with London and its cruel ways to spit you out with all your teeth and dreams, ill sit up in my high castle and be cold because of the drafts, without my human blanket.  my cold winter feet.

and i want to have your children as long as they are fizzy and rough and have no part in the world they will become hardened to. i want there to be a way, a way that men with answers will give them to us and let me stop googling humiliating shit like can two eggs make a embryo, this is the age of fake news and i dont want to be a fucking victim. (of it) I want the soft place between us soft shell air socket between us to be full with potential and not lacking in our minds because of what ever we've been told needs to be there to build a life. i want it when i rub on the top of your clit, tiny boner, source, of rivers, slowly when you sit on me to really be you inside me or you transporting something in the air to me you don’t have to be inside me i am clever enough, imaginative enough to receive a wish of will. this way is better is better it is this way is better and better for me to lay my body on the sidewalk and shout for it to be this way ill disgrace myself to hold your hand.

its funny the words we use to communicate to each other i call you bitch and slag and squeal at you in the morning i shout in a mad face that the bombs are coming get down the bombs are coming and i tickle you and hit you when you dont hide your face into the cover, i like the helpless tickling noise, your gasping for air and your fucking smile is so framed in everything i could ever ask for. I think im like my dad like that when he screams little baby bird baby bird and picks you up like a child with the body of a huge 50 year old henry the 8th look a like. i dont want anyones approval but it hurts to know some soft states cant be translated into other states some things cant be grasped or explained.

we like to scream bitch after saying things because its like the cartoon rick and morty character who is the nightmare man, that was what got me through the break up and you lay on my lap as we watched, and i sunk my sad claws into that screen hoping the half an hour episodes would sink into one another and back into the whites of my eyes into my brain i could see us watching but i couldn't feel it, but the feeling was slowly coming back like after you burn your fingers with ice cream.

/

im sorry if you are hurt I had to do it i needed to be selfish well all die alone theres nothing more to say i couldn’t put it into words, i am scared of what is coming of the eyes of others im scared I will blame you for what i have doubts. you let me take you there i feel like the guy, there is no guy and I am becoming more comfortable in this position against your skin you can tell when people have copy and pasted ideas im self conscious of your knowing of my lust of your knowing of my want to penetrate you im conscious of my eagerness to do this and im conscious of what this could mean and could not. Im conscious of your body next to mine in the dark room im concious of the splinter in my finger im conscious i must be with out you. Im conscious of my memories past and how they build this encounter how i must hold back things from your view and bring others into the light but they are all there waiting to be shown it is for me to divide(decide). i am concious of you in the dark room when I see the man cry at the sound of a lovers voice from years past i feel the weight of his pain and i cry infant(infront) of you in the dark room full of people, they dont know this they dont understand like i have and i come out the cinema see the shadows of people in my way did they see what i saw i could not believe they were they they do not feel the same they are frauds, I make a swift exit to the toilet so as not to be taunted by these shadows, what is this face i see on leaving the huge and empty lonely *discabled toilet we blush at each other we know who the other is and cannot express the name of the other our mouths are forming round the name both struggling to admit this is happening(the other has a name) both blushing both full with what is delirium from all the crying shed in the dark room the evil son dark species feeder comes out the * bathroom to greet us he too is bleeding red blush and eyes and nose do twist and curve into some uncomfortable shape to fu/fill the space where words should be, and none of us can detect any.

you ask me how i did it. and i think of their mouths on each others genitals for a flash second as they stand close enough to kiss and i think better put that to bed my love. you ask me what did i do. She's taller than I thought im a fucking child a well mannered fucking child the fact my face has been near a dick makes you want to slit my throat, but i cut my tongue off and gave it to you for christmas. i say i sucked my fingers and put them places, and all i want to do is feel and to be shown the different avenues of experience. Im sorry i made that gesture people did it at uni those cuts across the arm in the air a razor blade wiped clean every time wrapped up and hidden in a draw like a battle field my love like a war torn landscape. i fucking hate those people i dont know i could strangle them for their inanety for their very wretched existence on this planet.

of the splinter in my finger at close glance microscopic slow motion as a pick it from my finger and its still sore is there still something in there i will never get out i will always copy in my actions to others be a wooden

fuck the egg fuck the egg fuck the egg and they were all so strange and i was so strange in their company as i am in the meetings of strangers it it where i find myself i find myself there it is my true self when i making things up and there is an atmosphere not yet made but worth polluting and his mother was dying and he saw a drag queen make an omelette and i made my excuses from my lack of anything and you were on a chopping board waiting to be chopped and i was in the hill in the suburb of my mind in my fear of the rape of the suburb and my filming of the fish in the shop window in the night of the suburb* and my mothers words were strong and definite this is something that will affect you and you are lost i am lost lost lost i know it was a losing game to say it was what i could handle was funny and I was laughing as i tried

filming things to take back to you of my existence the evidence of my existence and the world that you could not see. parcels of light

so poorly filmed camera angles all blushing with love

Id love to have been there in that moment, frying pan on the go, quite allot of fat, like chicken breast, must be nice to eat feed someone something from your own body. penis

im sorry i was full when you wanted to fuck me. Tomorrow we are going to dinner with your family, i will have to behave like i have to, no hands under the table touching you as we eat, it will be hot, suffocatingly hot and ill have to concentrate on what i am eating not eating you

did i hurt you did i make you bleed? i wish id recorded our conversation, and ill have to read this book again and again as its urgency describes the urgency for us to be described. You said it made you open that those boundaries were closed for so long, you've been alive for a long time, no ones ever been in there no person or thing, you must really like me, for letting you do that, my bodies like what are you doing things dont go in there only come out, whats that we like it, oh i suppose we should give it a try. its not something i can describe yet this feeling of you opening up to me, i knew all along you would like it. it makes me drowsy watching you getting turned on suffocating under my hand, you want it and im going give it to you im gonna take it away and put it back in , im touching you where you've never been touched it might as well not existed you didn't exist before this moment soft in my hand and wriggling in my fist, im holding you there i wont let you go ill give you everything you want to get there ***im deep inside you i can feel your pain that something has expanded and been washed away with the penetration and skin on skin that soft place between your hip and lower thigh that could still be a babies limb(thigh) that night i spoke to a butch about being a bottom and she told me sex is just looking at someone just imagining things are there that aren’t and everyone gets fucked in every hole and space that wants it when you have not spent your life in the corners of others peoples eyes ducking from sight and fucking, would you have put things inside yourself when you were younger did you just bleed and then stop and then bleed and then stop did your blood stain the sheets did you feel like a hole like an opening to be spread across the floor and sucked from someones fingers(in a jar), to be spread across the floor, did your dad smile at you and tell you not to have seconds did he have seconds is he an asshole does he think about your vagina swelling as it does with the months of injecting vials  T /of pleasure/ straight to the blood supply supplying an ever growing (cock) clitoris, you said id fucked you into a coma, i want you to sleep in my lap all day, you cried and my hands were wet when i put them on your face, your got my cheeks wet you fucker (asshole) i was saving them for a rainy day, you said you lived on one floor you said 2 women lived in your house that were sisters and never spoke did your blood stain the walls did your blood stain the walls can i eat it can i lick it from your wounds when we fuck with the jock strap on and its covered in blood it makes me think of your blood and if there was a gash between your legs a severing you apart if you will fall apart and break in half and stain the floor as i drag you across the room , can i lick it from your wounds your soft and gutteral wounds so soft like petal flesh someones cut them and theyre bleeding from your plastic appendage theres blood on your clit but im sucking it, still blood there.,wont let me inside cause of the invisible blood there, it will be there for a while trickling down, the war on your body, the thighs of a child, i touched you in a place you hadn't heard of hadn’t translated into the language coudlnt understand the cuts dont like holes skin didn't prick pickle, ulcerus skin would let anything in barriers up it hurt me when i wasn't allowed in felt like heteronormativity without the pain of boredom but a line not to be crossed but things not to be stroked or kissed or licked let me hold you in the night now I've held you and broken you and something floats inside me if only they were to know, could you be pregnant with my wanting ?

have you been spending allot of time with your parents because you know they are going to die soon, i am lonely, i need to spend more time alone, it makes you more lonely when you cant remember the last time you were alone i really would’nt know who i was if i got married now.

i like fucking you in the ass, it really gets me off, really gets me off, really turns me on really makes me want to be inside you inside your whole core cant

i am dancing in slow motion to your voice, i am filming myself dancing in slow motion to your voice, i am cutting something up while listening to your voice, i running round in circles listening to your voice, i am on the floor crying listening to your voice, i am holding myself tightly listening to your voice, I am shouting over the sound of your voice trying to make myself louder, i am hungry for you voice, i am ashamed by the space between us, i am hungry for your voice, I am holding a floor/flower for your voice, i am listening to your voice drunk with my fingers in my ears, i am drinking shots to the sound of music timed listening to your voice,- man be cool i am frying an omelette listening to your voice, i am feeling everything listening to your voice, i am feeding an audience member listening to your voice, i am surprised by myself listening to your voice, i am masc for maSCC listening to your voice, i am hoping you wont leave listening to your voice, i am wanting to throw things away listening to your voice, i haven't decided listening to your voice, i am miming along listening to your voice, i am copying you listening to your voice, i am speaking very slowly listening to your voice, i am oily listening to your voice

a happy accident might be to faint on the tube and on coming round see your face, i find there is a null space between writing of words and the performance it is to panic that one is not right that one is not enough to parallel the other, to say that what comes first what is the purpose of the speaking, how much effort should the speaking be to counteract the writing, did the writing come from an improv, how does one improv on their own, I will just have to talk to myself for the rest of my life, no the improv comes from an exercisee, starting small and fun and exploring it, not know or worrying as to where it might go, the same with writing, do you start with a goal in mind, well sometimes you have an objective but you go on a journey to get there and no decision is wrong just a manifestation from your head, nothing you could ever do if it was honest would be wrong honesty is the best policy but that doesnt mean you cant be honest and also be deceitful, be lying and be honest, be lying honestly, be copying honestly, it is a mixture of lies and truth this is performance, to use ones body as the bericle to which you tell the story or the thoughts from your brain just your very existence not he stage is radical enough, to even say one word or blink would be radical enough…

i am sad i think my father is lonely i cant see him now but can here his soft rummaging and weird noises down stairs he can scream like a mad man and is always performing his mad man routine which might infact be his personality, but like me he is just pushing the boundaries and likes to piss people off and make them feel uncomfortable, so it is sometimes hard to tell the difference, I am sad he is lonely because i cannot see him but i can hear him coughing now, and in the night, i can hear him snoring through the floor boards and i can see the snor s coming up through the air like fluffy grey clouds or waves, i am sad that he is lonely i cannot see him but i can see a dark blue space punctured with lights and that is what downstairs looks like until i go downstairs and i can see its real walls and light fixtures and i know this is the real corners not the dark corners, i think he is lonely as he asked me to go to the corner shop to get him a beer a Stella Artois and I am sad because i did not get it for him and now he is coughing he is in the sarcoughaus of the house he is under my feet i feel i am selfish i only speak to him when i want things i wish adults weren't so useless and they could tell you what was wrong like a plant or a shoal of tuna feels like stabbing in the dark into a shoal of fish trying to understand him

when I woke up i thought about your genitals how they might be wet on my face, i turned over and felt my body on the mattress, I thought had you ever done this, you never touched it when you wanked, you still dont unless you with me and were in the moment. i had a pervading fear you might leave me for another man, I watched men from your eyes, seeing them as unconquered land as something you had not tried never been touched by a man in all your years, apart from that hand job with your guitar teacher, i thought i hate that woman, i woke from a sleep of her me telling you couldn't watch it, it angered me too much, i couldn’t watch it was sickening and her fucking face i could cut it open

Soft wet thing doesnt make sense pear shaped blossom and soot covering the sides urinal polished unforgetting is it to touch another in your future, basin of doubt my mouth alludes me it goes to what has come before

(without sentence structure just using simile and metaphors and free writing compairison to do this )

I had another dream about someone else, i feel dirty im gonna have a shower, im scared your gonna change im scared your gonna leave me for another man, im scared of you have a life without me, i keep having dreams about her, every night, do i want to fuck her or am i taunted by her, im taunted by her by a past life of mine, she came to greet me and she had candy floss hair i looked a mess everyone was there and we went out and left everyone i just left for her pleasure

i get paid to be sensitive in the sensitive spot the wind touches my ankles and there nothing to do in the plain sight the pain sigh the plain sight that moves me i woke up with blurry vision am i going blind, i woke up and what i could see yesterday i can no longer see before i feels good to hold your self down to be fLat and shiny and full of a heart and skin and blood underneath to know a cut would open you up so easily to fail in the dirt failing to use your limbs to fall bewildered to go outside for once in your life have you been outside today have you have been outside today no so dont hurt me again with your stale cavity

you would growl at the man in the shop selling us peaches didn't know he had a tremor terret,s to growl not ideal for a corner shop being the only light in a dark world dark street moon time peach buying and it upset me and i thought of myself as a small child all small and childlikee as a small child when kids took it too far and you shrivelled up into your self, its when your alone with your pain, snowball in the eye water dripping from you eye in alone with myself for hours, all hazy in the background, background noise, sharp aliveness alive sadness with he dirty snow dripping from my eye or glass that i sat on, the worst would be to be maimed she said , to be maimed  would be the worst, to be maimed she said would be the worst, it was only a peach pit in my skull, but you wouldn’t want a 12 inch knife in your stomach sternum would you no you wouldn’t, a peach pit stone cutting the sides of your head off, shaving an inch from yours skull, its skill to laugh again after the impact, i felt child child again, plight of the hill and the peach pit in my brain it sunk in made its self known to me, known that it would not venture out, somewhere else a man was being cut open, known to me it would not venture out, it would not venture out and to expect something of the thing before it reaches its thing hood is foolish to expect something fo the thing is foolish, is foolish when a peach pit has embedded itself into its skull sorry to be a senstitve being, sentiive in the cool of the night air, as we cross the road to avoid cars we think might kill us, where everything is the height of the wind as the rain is about to fall, as temperaturee falls, it stayed with us all night, that stone worked its way out (but that stone did not work its way out)

shouting from a place of honesty, to unravel it would take its secrets away, it was a sigh in the mind, it was my sweat on your forehead, it was something happening far away, it was that peach pit of cruelty

why did i keep eating them bending lower and lower to my fait. my knees are the first to go, too weak for what they will

its when your alone with your pain, glass in my upper thigh near the places you choose to be cut open, involuntarily penetrated and loneliness is death and i have a scar there and its when your alone with your pain

, an men described as mediateranine colouring what ever the fuck that means hindered bodies with

i am so angry at you i am gone with anger I am gone i could have made the thing and blasted it into your face i could have made the thing and blasted it into your face watever you fucking cunt go lick the dogs arse i hate you and your fucking cuffling laugh and the way you look at me when you disapprove maybe i need to be more accepting thats my fault but i could hit you right you you fucking sucker go lick the dogs arse shut up ill say goodbye and not kiss you how do you like that if only it didn't fold back on me you /dont know me at all you are fitting things into the past what you used to say what you used to think you dont actually think that anymore dont let the shit they say grind you down thats a cliche go lick the dogs arse I am full with so many voices and none of them are yours  you sucker go lick the dogs arse the words you say are empty vaccums i do things for you im self entitled i want to get it wrong i do things for you im self entitled i want to get it wrong i want to be excited instead im scared i want to get it wrong go lick the dogs arse

i couldn't hate you for long, but did you hate me forever, soaking up my life, is this sharing is this toll sharing, does it hurt you too,

it comes from the soul

wind hots the window suds like a bee dying

duality of eggs and blood

Bred into my womb

to find the details and tell your story

a film from my perspective as a stalker to you

hey fossil fuel, dirty ribena, slime mould, sea potato, Ursula le Guin, get in my mouth please peasant testicle tentacle put you to sleep eat you to your heart, peace be with you, bible passage for your grandma, Eccles cake for you pegging, naked with a cap on, dim light of the room a memory not to be forggoten and then i devoured you and then i devoured you and then i devoured you and then i devoured you cherry pip cherry core cherry cherry sticks and cherry more. Lychees at the cinema a hidden satsuma grapefruit lips fruit is expensive

im worried my dad only exists in my kitchen

im proud that you told them there is something else a Zara sales assistant wouldnt get it you were trying to tell her there was a void in the floor that she could fall into this gaping hole sucking the air out the room just a dash from razor on someones face wouldnt tell it to them straight give them enough warning of their ignorance there was a hurricane a whirlwind approaching she better get her fucking brolly - probably sum it up in one sentence.

into a massive void that was shaking all the

in those slow motion moments under the lights as the corners of your body touched mine tacky red paint and screaming

in that surreal slow motion

the less im with you the more I hate you for not sugaring my existence

Iit will all pass so grab it now

it was your gold star!!

my hands smell like celeriac but this morning they smell of your scent from inside your thighs where the humming birds sing, where i laugh at our fathers for not knowing we have that scent on our fingers as we talk to them

Ilike that man who kept getting ups nd putting his hat back on

when your full with cum and adrenalin you cant feel the pain

the metaphors the rising cultures

i am funny and you are funny and in the end i think its all going to be okay

to make a real effort to smile and not put my hands under the table.

the smell of cigarettes Monday morning

do they mix the ashes and dead bodies with the food

seeing that fruit stall and thinking that was where you were mine but i was not yours

i was your baby and i used to suck your chin

Never yours

Theres a man bow legged and he's walking, did his mum know not to wrap him round her chest like that so his legs would grow in the shape of her love and rib cage

the ground is lavender, looks like lichen, bluebells maybe just floating above the grass, a hat, a bonnet of flowers

i pass blisets where the man speaks in burps

throat cancer has made him funny without realizing

we walk along and our our knees in the right place?

we use sticks, we use plastic wheeled things, i am late, we use stealth, accents and alter egos, i channeled into a man selling big issue suddenly i am Liverpudlian so he recognises me as his own and forgives me for no money

she grows it but it looks better short

im late and bins line the pavement

i woke up in shock this morning and apologised in my sleep

Reeds

they will cut it off soon

film haircut march poem pics love

funny watch

even though can is hilarious

i fancy people who look like they've been found under a rock.

i rip my hair our its pieces

i am holding back

from every circle of my life

shame theres no poppies just unruly black hairs vying for attention

my love

not in our forehead or fingers

it is your ex girl friend

in awe of all the others creatures

i saw a bird with a ketchup packet

to call to each other reference each other tell each other things that are subconscious or just things. I call you bitch, the source, trans jelly, lichen, kitten , chicken tikka masala, midlands, it goes on. Im a rabbit in your keeping your your so small, smaller than me.

i hear you are on quest is that true? and you were born this morning, how is the world treating you? Im going to tell you some truths about the world.. have you learnt about hot and cold yet? Christmas trees have very short lives, sometimes the sun shines too much and you go red, you like icecream, you also like the beach and walking with your shoes off, you really like steak, cartoons and you are very kind.

the reason i cant really talk very clearly is because i have cut my tongue out and given it to you as a present.

I cut your tongue off and gave it to you for christmas.

ill cut an old woman face off and lay it in mine and scream like a goddess in battle as we sit on the tube cutting a mans head off with the slight of a blink in my fantasy that could be real if you will it.

if i had a 3d printer

i take you and i raise you to the highest peaks, dont bring us down.

and not spunk.

Middle ages people with their politics and booze that nor really fair i like them allot and they've livedI

as we have discovered a whole new worl

it feels great cause you know they are just particles of nothing and every part of your face is ——-gleaming.

boat to under the river where snails .

and ill nev

left me with a mound of flesh

for moths to come

my truth, my witty ex

Transface

Political nipples

Squirm

Beetle juice

Metamorphic

your such a tease

Tardigrade