#and maybe she’s got more control over them and she becomes the antler queen or smth

[medievalwife]

pretty little liars x yellowjackets au 💋🥩

in which the liars begin receiving mysterious messages, seemingly from alison dilaurentis. the only problem? they cannibalized her in the wilderness 25 years ago…

[ifindus]

i must know... what is it that you like so much about scotnor/norscot? what sort of dynamic do you envision them having? tell us things!!

Damn, thank you both for actually caring about this ship enough to send asks about it. Always happy to entice! Since there’s two asks, I’ve done two drawings and I have chosen to structure the post after (1) their dynamic and (2) their history. The history part is a bit of a read so I’ve put that under the [read more] under the illustrations, but I hope it at least is interesting!

Their Dynamic:

I see them as a good couple where they balance each other out quite nicely. Scotland is a bit hot-headed and brash, while Norway calm and rational. Still, I think they get off on teasing each other where you might actually think they are being mean to the other, but it’s all a joke. They have that mutual understanding between them, they get each other.

They would be the best of friends, but they wouldn’t advertise it? No one would even know they spend time together because they are both a bit removed from the rest of Europe, let alone that they are a couple. They wouldn’t openly advertise it either, just perhaps mentioning to Denmark, Sweden and England that they have plans together next week if they ask to hang out. Without no further explanation at all. And England might suspect something? But it is far from obvious.

In most of what I ship I like for the pair to be on equal standing, and I feel like this fit here. Scotland is probably more known internationally, but Norway has more influence. They can also both relate to being in a union and more or less ruled by another country.

They would go hiking together, and sometimes Norway would even be able to convince Scotland to come skiing with him (I think about half of Great Britain’s cross-country team are from Scotland and they all live and train in Norway). Both Scotland and Norway have some beautiful locations and in some places very similar nature even. They would also go drinking a lot – vodka, beer and whiskey – and hanging out in pubs together just chatting. Football is another passion they both share and the Norwegian Rosenborg has been in the group play of Europa League with the Scottish Celtic a few years now – even going scoring a goal against one of the other teams in the last match, hindering their victory, and allowing Celtic to advance. Needless to say, Glasgow was in an uproar after that and even sold mugs in their colours with the face of the Norwegian goal scorer.

In addition, I think both of them are very obsessed with folklore and mythology, and sharing an interest in the genre of crime, enjoying scary stuff. There might also be some relation between the Scottish Kelpies and the Norwegian Nøkken.

It is also funny how some Scottish words are so related to Norwegian due to the Norse Period (see the history bit), such as “bairn” in Scottish and “barn” in Norwegian, which means children.

I just think they’d make an awesome pair, just sharing many interests while still being quite different. They would feel very comfortable with each other and have a strong base of trust.

Their History:

Viking Period. Viking raids on coastal Scotland begins around 800 and continues up into the century, until at the end the activity transforms into settlement, then especially on the Northern Isles of Shetland and Orkney, as well as the Western Isles of the Hebrides. Most likely they blended with the locals and we can see an intermingling of style here. Still, there was most likely contact between the lands before that due to finds of combs made of reindeer antler in the area – and reindeers don’t exist in Scotland. In about 1015 Knut the Great of Denmark conquers most of England, and with him is Eirik Earl of Lade from Norway, a sort of mentor and powerful figure that supports the young king. As a reward he gets Northumbria, which borders to southern parts of Scotland. This is about the only period where there are no reports of wars between Northumbria and Scotland in this period. It is, however, the permanent settlements of Norsemen that lead up to the next period in Scottish history:

Norse Period. In this period, the islands I mentioned earlier is still claimed by Norway as most of the population on them are either under Norse rule or identify largely are Norsemen. This escalated to a conflict that saw the Battle of Largs in 1263, a battle which none of the involved parties won. The Western Isles had from 1100 been a part of the Norwegian realm, and since 1240, King Alexander II of Scotland had tried to buy it from Håkon Håkonsson, King of Norway, but was rejected every time. Eventually, feeling threatened Håkon gathered the largest fleet said ever to leave Norway and sailed to Scotland. After failed negotiations and some Norwegian raids a huge storm surprised the fleet and crashed some of the boats and washing them ashore where the crews were attacked by the Scottish forces, double the numbers. The storm hindered any tactical moves as the waves and wind made it impossible to control the ships, but eventually the Norsemen got back on some of the ships and after a long distance battle, which both sides pulled back from after a while. After retreating to Orkney, Håkon got ill and died and his successor Magnus Lagabøte made a treaty with Alexander III in 1260 to give up the claim on the Western Isles for a certain amount of money and the prospects of good trade with both Scotland and England. In 1281 Margaret, daughter of the Scottish king Alexander III, gets betrothed to Erik II of Norway as a way to finally put an end to the disputes between them for good. Unfortunately, she dies in the childbirth of her daughter Margaret Maid of Norway – who was actually on her way to become queen of Scotland when her grandfather died with no living male heirs, but she also died untimely only 7 years old after she became ill on the journey over the sea in 1290

After this unfortunately, it’s not long until Norway becomes a part of the Kalmar union as a result of the Black Death in 1348 and ends up under Danish rule for about 400 years, where the Danish king in 1468 gives away Orkney and Shetland as a pawn for the dowry of his daughter because he did not have the money to pay (this situation was never actually resolved and the isles still could be considered only a pawn).

The Norwegian Cruise. In 1886 a Scottish shipping company began with Norwegian cruises to look at the fjords along the coast of Norway, maybe one of the first ever planned cruises, which was so popular that they only increased the amount the following year. This continued until World War One began.

Second World War. During the Second World War Norway was occupied by Germany, and many of those who fled came to England and Britain (as was the case with most of Europe). On Shetland, however, there came to be a Norwegian base of operations where Norwegian sailors and volunteers would carry out missions across the North Sea to Norway. There they would smuggle in weapons and provisions and information to the resistance, as well as helping refugees to escape the country. This was of immense help to Norway during the war.

Thanks for reading!! This turned into a bit of an essay and I was more thourough at the beginning of this, but I hope you enjoyed it regardless! 

[lostandundead]

Chapter 7: Insecurities Of Rulers

Beaumont Roseberg was currently staying in an alleyway, prepared to release his chain when Jester gave the signal. Honestly, he didn’t trust her that much but since she is the queen, what she says goes. In addition, she promised him that she will help him achieve his biggest goals, but that wasn’t important right now.

He tapped his antlers a little, hoping to avoid boredom. Most of the time, he just hides them under a hat, even before he saw taxidermies of Jackalopes like him. He figured that it came from a form of shame and the fact that he didn’t want to end up like them. After all, he still has people that he needs to protect. Speaking of protecting…

I hope Marion is doing okay… he thought to himself as he kept an eye on the sky. She was practically family to him at this point in time and when he learned that they had to be in separate parts of the world, he was heartbroken. However, they will be able to see each other again once Jester’s plan is complete. They also made sure to have portable phones so they can communicate with the rest of the generals if there was an important announcement.

Better to be safe than sorry, he thought, taking the phone out and dialing Marion.

It only took her a couple of seconds to answer.

“Hello Beau!”

“Hey Marion. I just wanted to check in on you. Are you doing alright?”

“I'm fine! But it seems like you're a little worried.”

“I will admit, I am a little worried, but that's because we don’t know what can happen. I don’t want you to get hurt again.”

“I'll stay safe, I promise.”

“Okay, I have to go to release the chain. Take care.”

“Take care!”

The phone hung up, leaving Beaumont alone with his thoughts but at least he was sure that his family was safe. He leaned against the wall, the bright lights of the city making it a little hard to see the stars in the sky.

He waited for a few hours, waiting for a signal and then, a bright purple chain can be seen soaring in the distance. That was his cue to start the plan. He pulled out a bright red chain similar to the purple one out of his jacket’s pocket. Then, he recalled what Jester specifically told them to do once they got the signal.

Take out the chain and put one end on the ground. Then, just let go.

And that was exactly what he did.

He gave up his control.

—————————————————

Floating over a lake in the middle of the forest was the mastermind behind this whole operation. She hopes to establish a world where reality and fantasy can exist as one. She has already seen the flaws of both worlds but she intends to fix that.

It doesn’t matter what she has to do in order to reach that goal. She will gladly take a thousand suns if it means that her dream could finally become reality. No more suffering, no more being pushed around, just pure peace and silence. To her, it sounds like a perfect world and soon everyone will see that.

All hail the Laughing Queen.

—————————————————

Sitting on the thrones of a marble palace is a king and queen, the original rulers of the fantasy world. However, they mourn the loss of their only child, who ran away from home. The jester offered her assistance for the throne and with minds clouded with sorrow, they accepted. Little do they know the plan that she has in mind.

They now guard a dark blue chain, possibly the only chance of getting their son back. However, it is quite sad indeed. They are so stricken that they even realize…

They are just pawns in a game.

—————————————————-

The orange chain is protected by the Laughing Queen’s most loyal guard, a swordswoman made of art supplies. Wielding blades sharper than a knife, she can take down foes in a single strike. She believes in the cause and rose to be the right-hand man.

However, she is stubborn and impulsive with a need to always win. She also lacks creativity, a fate that is pretty grim. However, maybe one day, she will finally see...

That the pen is mightier than the sword.

—————————————————

Dancing around a light blue chain is a simple marionette. Blue strings are attached to her limbs to allow her to move. Behind her are others that are puppetted by her, giving her a sense of control that she never had before.

It is such a shame that she had to go through that, being abandoned and thrown out like a broken doll. At least she has someone to look up to now, someone who supported her through time and time again. However, what if that someone was to disappear and leave her alone? What will she do then? It is time that she learns…

That there are no strings attached.

—————————————————

The red chain resides at the top of a casino. It is run by a jackalope that puts up a tough persona but only wishes to protect those he loves. He is afraid that he would lose them if he isn’t strong enough to protect them so he does what he can to improve. He would do anything if it means if they stay safe.

However, will it be enough when a threat comes? Does he have the willpower and strength to defend them? After all, luck does play a big role in life. Grab some dice and let us see…

If luck is truly in your hands.

—————————————————

The yellow chain is mainly left unattended as they tend to wander around. To be completely honest, they didn’t really care about Jester’s plan, the portals, or the real world. The only reason why they even decided to become a general is so they can find their dear friend again. They play a song by themselves in the hopes of guiding their friend to them.

Little do they know that they will soon be backstabbed, betrayed by the one they are supposed to trust. Despite this, they hold onto blind hope that this person will help them. They look at the sky and say…

Catch you on the flip side.

—————————————————

Deep in a forest, shrouded by the trees, lies the green chain. Ivy grows on it, twisting and turning. The guardian of it, an old mushroom man, tends to his plants. He treats them like his kin as he lost his own a long time ago. He makes sure that they watered and fed, all while making sure the soil is well-kept.

Soon, he hears a crash and birds flying in his direction. It was loud so it was obviously either nearby or large. He touches the ground, hoping to see the damage through the mushrooms. Instead of seeing a crater, he felt a burning pain go through his arm. He quickly removes his hand and mutters to himself:

My mushrooms…

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Tori Amos quotes

- Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.

- I think that people who can't believe in fairies aren't worth knowing.

- I know I'm an acquired taste - I'm anchovies. And not everybody wants those hairy little things.

- Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes.

- I have so many different personalities in me and I still feel lonely.

- The violence between women is unbelievable.

- I'm too wacky for most weirdos. Who am I to judge?

- If they keep crashing stuff into the moon, the moon's gonna get pissed off, and the tides'll change, and all the women'll start PMS-ing together. Then you guys are going to fucking regret it.

- If you really want a challenge, just deal with yourself.

- I don't see myself as weird, I just see myself as honest.

- I see the dream and I see the nightmare, and I believe you can't have the dream without the nightmare.

- Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much.

- Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin.

- On some of my darkest days, Lucifer's the one who comes and gives me an ice cream.

- Most people would rather be sheep than stand on their own with antlers on.

- The sense of loss is such a tricky one, because we always feel like our worth is tied up into stuff that we have, not that our worth can grow with things we are willing to lose.

- When you've got the virgin and the whore sitting next to each other, they're likely to judge each other harshly.

- I think you have to know who you are.

- Get to know the monster that lives in your soul.

- Dive deep into your soul and explore it.

- I don’t want to renounce my dark side.

- The truth has always held an enormous interest for me.

- Healing for me is being able to sit next to the butcher and say 'Yes, I’m sitting next to the butcher now,' instead of saying 'there is no butcher'.

- This is very simple in the world of chicks; some are hoochies, some are not, and some should never try to be.

- We don't often see our own stories. Good artists are the ones that whisper our own stories back to us.

- Music is about all of your senses, not just hearing.

- Again, we go back to the power of words and how they can make you feel. They bring liberation or stagnation, they're chains.

- You don't have to apologize for growing and learning and changing your mind.

- Music has an alchemical quality.

- Certain relationships can just wear you down.

- Containment of your opinion is a must if you are going to nurture an artist's development.

- It's a good thing I'm curious, because sometimes I just research how a soccer player kicks a ball and the impact it has on his foot. I haven't used this yet, but I might.

- But over the years you can cultivate hate for the art you love.

- I don’t believe anyone’s story is boring. Every story has value because it belongs only to you.

- Sometimes I fantasize backstage about how people do their laundry. Woolite? Mixed-color loads? Do they fold? Do they press? Do they Shout it out? And the thing that kills me—do their whites come out dingy?

- Our generation has an incredible amount of realism, yet at the same time it loves to complain and not really change.

- We like our pain. And we’re packaging it, and we’re selling it.

- Festivals or radio shows can be the heavyweight championships of arrogantly detached clusterfucks.

- People who are addicted to power can live on the same street or attend the same school as us or even play on the world stage.

- None of us are this light and dark fantasy. What's dark to you may be light to me and vice versa.

- I don't think that many performers necessarily want to see their audience empowered. I think a lot of performers, no different from priests, need the hierarchy.

- Modern, celebrity-driven entertainment turns the stage into an altar, and so many celebrities refuse to be removed from those altars once they manage to ascend.

- All storytellers, all troubadours worth their salt knew their myths.

- The Sídh's historical myth is the source of the bastardized concept of a fairy—as if anyone gives a rat's ass.

- The problem with Christianity is, they think everything is about outside forces, good and evil. There's not a lot of inner work encouraged.

- Over the last few hours I've allowed myself to feel defeated, and just like she said if you allow yourself to feel the way you really feel, maybe you won't be afraid of that feeling anymore.

- I'm the queen of the nerds.

- Don't give up. Don't listen to these foolish critics that are so small minded they don't get it tonight.

- Sometimes listening to music can motivate you.

- I think even in a good marriage, especially if you stay together long enough, there are going to be events that happen.

- An ounce of breast milk is even more potent than the finest tequila.

- Music is always a reflection of what's going on in the hearts and minds of the culture.

- Many people lock a part of themselves away. It's a bit sacred.

- I've always seen the songs as having a consciousness.

- Our world is a huge mess right now, and not big enough for masses of intolerant people.

- We are all fairies living underneath a leaf of a lily pad.

- That is some funky-fresh, pop lockin' shit.

- If I saw someone destroy a piano I'd fuckin' kill 'em. Wouldn't think twice.

- I experiment with things that are usually an internal experience, because that's just what excites me. And yes, it does sometimes give me visions.

- Some of those trips were eighteen hours long and I'll never forget, once I ended up sitting by the bush trying to ask the flowers why they didn't like me. It's like, Why can't I be your friend?

- You might not like my story because I'm not gonna tell you how it ends yet, and you need to travel it with me.

- I just imagined a huge juicy vagina coming out of the sky, raining blood over all those racist, misogynist fuckers.

- You can't control your popularity

- If you can't create physical life, you find a life force. If that's in music, that's in music.

- I started to find this deep, primitive rhythm, and I started to move to it.

-I held hands with sorrow, and I danced with her, and we giggled a bit

- I usually get myself into situations that cause sparks.

- I love feeling alive, I love walking out in the cold in my bare feet and feeling the ice on my toes.

- For the most part, pianos are female to me.

- Anger is natural. It's part of the force. You just have to learn to hang out with it.

- In our minds, love and lust are really separated.

- I think all the boys that write the screaming stuff would write the best love songs

- When you stop putting yourself on the line, and you don't touch your own heart, how do you expect to touch other people?

- Guys would sleep with a bicycle if it had the right color lip gloss on. They have no shame. They're like bull elks in a field.

- Your worst enemies are made when you ignore people.

- It's as if the horses have come to take us back, to descend, to find the dark side. By dark I mean what's hidden, not necessarily satanic.

- There's room for everybody on the planet to be creative and conscious if you are your own person. If you're trying to be like somebody else, then there is isn't.

- Sometimes you have to do what you don't like to get to where you want to be.

- You know that saying, bad things don't happen to good people? That's a lie.

- I'm not a habit, I'm a lifestyle.

- There are a lot of hidden nerds.

- People who become the front runners often used to be outcasts or loners.

- Um, don't get me wrong because I love boys, it's just that sometimes we don't need you.

- There are only ten ideas under the sun. What makes the difference is how you spice them.

- So I'm in Virginia, and I had crabs--I keep saying that! I had crab sickness, I had eaten bad crabs in Maryland!

- I'm a winter girl; I like coming out when things are desolate and everybody's ready to slit their wrists.

- You can only be you. A lot of times it's never enough for people.

- I've never played the guitar, except throwing it against the wall cause it was pissed off I couldn't play it.

- Truly, I was a sweetheart when I was little, like the Honeysuckle Faery. Sweet-pea. But sweet-peas are not popular after second grade. Sweet-peas become nerds really fast.

- I really enjoy having a giggle with a friend, but then someone crosses my line, then I don't really take it lightly.

- I sometimes forget I'm not 7'2" and a Viking.

- A boundary was crossed. And maybe I drew a boundary, consciously.

- It was a bit violent, a bit sexual.

- When nothing makes sense, music seems to come and bring me a margarita and sit down with me.

- You don't have to justify everything. Being pissed off is just absolutely okay.

- There is a level of the vampire in me, which is OK.

- It hurts me when a woman doesn't come through for me, more than a man.

- I'm a grown woman. I've earned my experiences, my scars.

- What is an angel but a ghost in drag?

- I'm beginning to accept and love the parts of me, of women that I was trained to hate all my life.

- People can be so vicious toward the imaginary world and it saddens me. You kill a lot of little people's dreams that way.

- Even if you don't read history or you aren't interested in anything that happened before the '60s, there are reasons why we think the way we do.

- That's how the story goes but I don't believe the story.

- I would find myself either the lovey-doveyest-woviest sweet pea, or a mad-woman.

- I believe in eating.

- You can't change what happened. And nobody's asking you to forgive.

- Why be afraid of these cuddly, soft, adorable things?

- I have good days. Like if I get really good coffee ice cream with just the right amount of chocolate syrup.

- A lot of people see themselves as victims, even when you have to stand in line for ice cream.

- It's so difficult to be critical of children because they need to discover themselves. We're always telling them, "No, the tree has green leaves!"

- I'm tired of being a rebel. Now I just want to be me.

- When things get really empty for me, empty in my outer life, in my inner life, the music world, the songs come across galaxies to find me.

- Do you know what it's like to be a girl and have blood running down your legs and think that you're dying, just because no one's told you that's what happens? It's horrible.

- An angel's face is tricky to wear constantly.

- Mess with me and you will not survive.

- I think that happiness is when you can let yourself feel every emotion you want at any time instead of being a lying little fuck.

- I'm not into this dieting thing.

- The cross has been used as a weapon, as it has been used against all women throughout the ages. And that's the greatest evil of all.

- I think you've got to find a giggle somewhere in stuff that would scare the poop outta ya.

- A cornflake girl is Wonderbread whereas a raisin girl is whole wheat bread.

- I would like to think I'm a raisin girl, because in my mind they're more open minded. Cornflake girls are totally self centered, don't care about anything or anybody.

- I like butter and the people who like butter."

- I'm known as that girl who has tea with the Devil.

- I'm not afraid of sadness.

- Everybody has creativity and each person has it in a different way. Some people aren't musical, some musicians can't even think about painting or gardening. There's so many different ways to be creative.

- I wanna be burned, definitely burned, like the witches.

- Give the kids tools, so they can go build their own houses; not the blueprint of what the houses should be.

- Look at me now. I'm breast feeding pigs.

- I wish I had more of a sense of humor.

- I can be so hard on people.

- If somebody's being a jerk, I would like to go wee on their head. And then I do that, mentally.

- The people on the internet know more about what I am doing than I do. Like, they will say that I am going to be in this mall on this day, and sure enough, I am there!

- I'm like a lioness who kills her own prey and no one else has to kill for her. But if some other lioness comes to me and says "I just got a good prey, do you want a piece?" I can say "of course" - and the other way around.

- There are things that I would disagree with Jesus about, and I feel really good about that.

- History has recorded some pretty nasty things that have happened to people. I think we remember. I think it's in our cells and I think it can still hurt sometimes."

- I don't believe in the saying that it all happens for the best, it's just not appropriate.

- Of course I believe in past lives, I mean, three quarters of the human race believes this, it's not like a great new thought here.

- I use innocence in my demeanor like a Venus flytrap.

- I do like to talk about things no one wants to hear at the dinner table.

- I'm not interested in being a really nice person; I want to be a creative, responsible person that's balanced.

- Boys are cute but food is cuter

- Do any of you dream about crocodiles?

-I know I dream about crocodiles. I'm obsessed with them.

- If people can't see things from the other side that's not my problem, it's theirs.

- I think I give equal time in my hatred, right?

- Sometimes I'm mad at some guy, sometimes I'm mad at some girl, and sometimes I'm totally loving some guy, so and sometimes I'm loving some girl.

_ Well, Pele is the volcano goddess and I thought of like, um, sacrificing some of the boys in my life to her but then I decided that that wasn't really a very good idea.

- Anger originates from envy and outrage, not being seen, not being heard.

- We don't know where souls go when they die. We don't know a lot of things. We didn't create the planets. We didn't do this all by ourselves. So, therefore, why wouldn't there be a creative force if it can create humans and planets?

- I've been hanging out with some of the Hell's Angels in England. They're some of the sweetest people I've ever met.

- Real friends have to be understanding of each other, and their faults.

- I think I'm really hard to get to know on a personal level.

- Thailand is calling me.

- People I see laughing all the time, check for razor blades in their anal-force underwear, because it's just a little lie.

- I'm not interested in taking drugs. I do hallucinogens once in a while for journey experiences.

- I hear the wine. It's like a structure. I see it as a piece. I hear it before I taste it. It's calling me. And then I start to hear it when I'm tasting it.

- Not that I use crystal suppositories, I'm not New Age.

- A peach tree says, 'Some of me will be juicy and some of me will be dry I'm not growing for you; I grow because that's what I do.' You always hear some person complain about how dry their peach is and the peach says, 'It's not our fault you have no understanding on the proper use for dry peaches.'

- My theory is that women were the Mona Lisas for a long time and now men are Mona Lisas with little goatees. They are our muses.

- If you're gonna tell a story, you have to grow into the head of the rapist as well as the raped.

- He was a lite sneeze, and not the flu. Most boys would like to think they're the flu, wouldn't they? But they're really just a achoo.

- If you call me an airy-fairy new age hippy waif, I will cut your penis off.

- It's a double-edged sword and if you pretend you don't want it you're a liar and that is going to rip your soul to pieces.

- I'm always dreaming that these bulls are chasing me. Half the time I don't get away - I almost get over the fence, and then they gore me.

- I believe in energy, everything is energy. And therefore sometimes magic can be created if somebody is open to letting energy do what it does, instead of being so cynical, that you miss magic happening.

- I feel like a work really has many sides to it when people have such extreme reactions. When a work is greeted with just, 'Oh, you know, it's nice', then it's not affecting people. So love it or hate it, that's okay.

- I am a real believer in looking at pain and taking it out shopping.

- The music is the magic carpet that other things take naps on.

- I just try to strip myself, peel myself like an onion. At different layers I discover stuff.

- Why is the world where it is? It's so deep-rooted, if we really start looking, and we might not like what we find. But I think we have to, we have to ask the questions.

- I'm beyond the fury of youth.

- I love young women who are angry. They're wild mustangs.

- I didn't want her looking and hearing me and thinking, "Oh my God, that's a scary lady!"

- They felt that it was detrimental material for their children and that it was blasphemous.

- They've decided they kinda' have you figured out.

- My nightmares are so bad, that I mostly reject it when my friends want to take me to a cinema to watch a horror movie. Then I say, "No, thank you. I will dream in a few hours."

- I don't know of anybody who's gonna be fulfilled if they get hit by a bus. You have to surrender to that eternal need to be fulfilled.

- How do you know I'm not having a margarita with Jesus tonight at 10 o'clock?

- Let's be honest, religion has not supported women and men exploring all sorts of their sides, their unconscious. It has not been supportive of, you know, go into the places without shame, without blame, without judgment, and just let yourself really see what's cooking in there.

- I think human beings are so much more capable of what they told us we're capable of.

- Anyone can attend yoga, kabbalah classes, church, lectures by the 'Dalai Lama', yada, yada, yada - but can you be present for your life, and live with the way you treat other people?

- Only a few people should have a "greatest hits". I'm not one of those people.

- I feel like our leaders have hijacked America's personality, and taken her to personality plastic surgery school. And they decided this is who she is.

- The playground is the biggest war-zone in the world.

- You have to read visionaries to have visions.

- They squash the baby bird because their bird got squashed.

- I love reading. I'll read the first sentence and if it makes sense to me I pick it up.

- It's ridiculous saying there's only one true faith, it's like saying there's only one map to get you up the mountain. I want to see those other maps, man.

- I kinda have all the aspects of my personality round one table for spaghetti.

- If it's too loud, turn it up.

- I was doing drugs with a South American shaman, and I really did visit the devil and, well, I had a journey.

- There is no passion without broken crockery.

- You have to ask, how could a nation nearly vote in somebody who isn't qualified for the job?

- We're living in a frightening time and I wish people would wake up and realise they're surrendering their civil liberties.

- Who wouldn't want to shag a queen?

[ohcaptaintarthister]

Everyone Has Secrets by Ellaria

FridayFabFic No. 1

Despite my intent to find the positive in the negative, there were some people rubbed wrong about my FridayFabFic. There are only two apologies I’ll be making: I’m sorry I don’t like your stories, and I’m sorry most of the stories I like are old. I stand by what I said about the current state of A LOT of JB fanfics but you should REMEMBER it’s only my opinion–ONE PERSON! I have no wish to be queen bee or anything (unlike some people). I don’t encourage people to have troll accounts so they can leave awful comments on works they don’t like and happily report to others their success at shooting down an author who only wanted to write differently. That’s a well-known fact about quite a lot of people in the fandom that’s nevertheless hard to swallow–at least for me.  

As mentioned before, you might not like what I like, you might approve, or you might be curious enough to check out why I like some stories and find confirmation I’m a fucking kook. I’m willing to discuss but try not to be defensive. You want to be heard, I’ll listen. But when I do, do me the courtesy of hearing me out as well. If you think there are stuff I should check out, either comment on this post or message me. 

If you’re still reading, then maybe you’re curious to find out what I say. Yay! Again, you might be doing so to find further proof what a crazy ass I am. That’s okay too! But since you’re here, let me tell what I look for in the stories that will be in FridayFabFic:

1. COMPLETE. Thus, no WIPs.

2. MULTI-CHAPTERS. I’d like to include one-shots but that would mean considering a type of story under this category that I really don’t like. No, I’m not sorry. Guys, we’re not fascists. We’re allowed to have different opinions. You don’t like angst, you don’t like major character death, well I don’t like…FUCK. I’m shutting up now. People take things so personally, Jesus. Let me pour you some Valpolicella.

3. NO CATEGORIES. Meaning it can be canon-continuation, canon-divergent, crack, modern AU, and universes upon universes. I’ve read a lot of JB. More than I’d like to admit. I lurked around AO3 for a long time before writing fanfic. I would read practically anything. What matters is…

4. THEY’RE WRITTEN BEAUTIFULLY. Such as, despite the reader knowing what universe the fanfic is written in, the writing is not predictable. The depiction of Jaime and Brienne, even if OOC at times, still works in the universe of the story. The story is compelling, a page-turner, a nail-biter, swoony. It can be a lot of things but what I look for is characterization that has depth and whose journey takes me for a ride.

5. AND…THEY PUSH THE ENVELOPE. The joy behind reading fanfic is favorite characters are placed in different situations by the writers. I’m a sucker for anything where Jaime and Brienne go through an emotional, even physical beatdown. I like them when they start out broken, or halfway through the story a monkey wrench whams without warning onto them and things are just never the same. One of them may be die. Or both. As long as the writing prepares the reader, the events are justified and works in the world of the story, PLUS it’s done well, THAT’S the kind of writing I look for. So, don’t count on fluffy stories here. They’re just not my thing, ‘kay? Here. You could use another glass…hey, don’t throw that at me! That’s perfectly good wine!

And so, awesome people, let’s raise our glasses as I unveil the first FridayFabFic… 

Everyone Has Secrets by Ellaria

Summary: (from the author–always acknowledge, guys!)  Political journalist Jaime Lannister finds himself out of alternatives when Millennium, his magazine, becomes endangered by his reckless actions. Brienne Tarth, a professional hacker charged with the task of investigating him, will stumble upon more than she expected. The mystery of a disappearance ten years earlier will draw them to Winterfell, where more than one secret might be uncovered.Based on The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson.

Stuff I probably shouldn’t say but will anyway:

EHS is fucking better than the original. 

Why: 

I read this fanfic first before cracking open Stieg Larsson’s novel. I like EHS better because, and no offense to those who love The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, this fanfic delves deeper into the characters. Every sentence from Ellaria is a beating heart. I am lucky to have read this when it was already complete, and can only imagine the hell readers must have gone through waiting for updates. It’s not just a fantastic edge-of-your-seat thriller but the developing romance between Jaime and Brienne has the slow unraveling, if one can say, found in a Jane Austen novel, but also with a jagged, breath-taking sexiness. You read Everyone Has Secrets either with a cup of your favorite tea or a glass of pinot noir. 

Squee Moment/s: (I had to pick my two absolute favorites)

“Sighs turned into panting, blood mixed with sweat and water. She noticed his bleeding increased due to the motion, but it was not in her to stop anymore. He shifted his angle and shoved himself deeper inside, grazing a place that she had never known was there. With a whimper on her lips she was dragged into total whiteness, an absence of existence, a moment where their juncture was all there was. Letting go of the last of her control, she felt her walls grasp him tightly and dug her nails into his back, trying to keep herself grounded.”

                                     *********************************** “I agree now,” Jaime said, looking straight into her eyes, all traces of his amusement gone. “I should have fought for you, even if I had to fight against you. I should have brought you back, screaming and kicking, back with me, where you belong.”

Jaime Lurves Brienne:

“It will take you at least two whole days.” Lannister frowned and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. “Not to mention that your ass is going to be flat as a board by the time you get there, and you’ll be walking like a cowboy.”

“My ass?” She shook her head in disbelief. “What do you even care about my ass?”

Brienne Lurves Jaime:

The movement caused the blanket to flap around her, and Lannister’s scent filled her nose. For some reason, it felt intoxicating.

Holy Shit Moment/s:

“Here’s what we’re gonna do,” he told her, placing his large hands on the desk. “You’re gonna get on the table and spread those ugly legs of yours, and I’m gonna fuck you until I’m well and pleased. Then I’ll sign the check for your allowance and pay you like the whore you are.”

                                 ***********************************  

It was fierce and loud, and came from the mouth of a big, wolfish mutt that ran towards him. Its yellow eyes regarded Jaime with rage, he barked again and again, slobber dripping from its open jaw. When the animal made to bite, baring his teeth fiercely, Jaime’s instincts took over—he pulled the stag’s antler out of the direwolf and struck the dog on the shoulder.  

Read it for:

1. The high emotional stakes. Every chapter ends on the right note, and long after it has, there’s still that lingering hum. Or purr. I won’t spoil the ending for you other than saying it ends pretty much on such notes, rather than with a bang. And the denouement is as smooth as scotch.

2. The action sequences. Jaime’s fight with a wolf is my favorite.

3. The HAWT sex that finally happened! From the time Jaime catches Brienne in her underwear outside her apartment, to their sexy online late-night chat (I kind of wanted to bang their heads together and order them to just get it on, damn it), until their very much anticipated first time and all the other times that got even more emotional and sexier. 

4. And the ending. It’s one of the most perfect endings in Modern AU JB fanfics. It’s a perfect ten!  

5. Here’s the link! http://archiveofourown.org/works/1126633/chapters/2271647

Oh, and one more thing, Everyone Has Secrets won Third Place in the 2016 All-Time Favourite Game of Thrones Fanfic at Fanatic Fanfics. It’s clearly a winner!

Sorry again that I was a little late. Migraine is an evil bitch fucker finally banished by the magic of a Thai oil whose name I can’t pronounce. I’ll be on time next Friday!

Thanks for reading!