#and maybe one day every person would have played it
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surprise encounter đ€ sylus 秊
pairing: sylus x reader
summary: Youâve been playing love&deepspace ever since the game came out and it became your comfort place now. You like all of the boys, but you have the highest affinity with sylus, who had your heart in a grasp ever since the beginning. Who wouldâve thought that he shares the sentiment? And after your monthly absence from the game, he decides to pay you a little visit and finally confess to all of it (and maybe try to kidnap you in the process too).
tropes: fluff, angst to fluff, fluff to angst to fluff? fluff to angst to fluff to angst to fluff???? idk angst with happy ending!
word count: no idea, it goes on for days sorry
warning!: i apologize for any mistakes, i am not a native speaker of english!! if you see any errors you can write me a dm and i will correct them for sure ⥠and i think it gets better later! i canât write for shi, especially the beginnings, and the second part was fueled by my delulu so it is probably much more fun to read đ€
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You liked days like these: quiet days, lazy ones, when you didnât have any errands to run, meetings to attend, or people to please. You could just stay inside for the whole day, reading your favorite books and playing cozy games, spending your time however you wanted. Today was Saturday and you didnât have to go to work until Monday and you decided that you finally deserved to have some rest after the last couple of weeks of almost working yourself to the bone due to the amount of the assingments you had to complete at work. You often had to stay after hours or work from home to complete everything in time. Your work was not usually that challenging, but there were certain times of the year when everyone at your job had their hands full and when it happened, you were almost completely cut off not only from your social, but also personal life. However, you never complained, because you actually liked what you were doing, and even if the occasional hard times were inevitable, your work brought you so much fun and satisfaction.
And today was a good day! You finally finished everything you had to do, so you could go back to your favourite game. You didnât have time to play recently due to the amount of work, up to the point that you didnât even bother to check in to grab some stamina. Usually, love&deepspace was an important part of your day - you logged in there at least twice a day, completed every task thrown your way and had a blast doing so, but these couple of weeks were so hard for you that you almost forgot about it completely. But even if you were too busy, you thought about the boys from time to time, as well as about the events that you were probably missing out on. You really hoped that if some new events had taken place during that time, that they did not involve Sylus, because if you had missed them, you would be slightly devastated.
Sylus was your favorite. Ever since the beginning, there was something about him that caught your attention. You downloaded the game after his announcement and havenât looked back since. You played with other boys as well, but your time with Sylus was always the most memorable. Not only was he extremely attractive in your eyes, as well as the eyes of other players around the world, but you also understood his character, adored his little jokes and mannerisms, and could safely say that he made your life a little more exciting. You knew that it probably sounded lame to someone who didnât play such games, and you were aware that he wasnât real, but you enjoyed yourself regardless. In your real life, you had some experience with men and were pretty popular among them; however, you never felt comfortable enough to form more serious romantic relationships.
Here, with Sylus, you didnât have to worry about such things. You were aware that he was only a game character and maybe that was why you were so honest with him from the very beginning. You knew that he wouldnât judge you, misstreat you or make you miserable - he was created in a way that was supposed to make your playthrough enjoyable so you didnât have to worry about your responses in the messages for him or your real life reactions to everything he said or did. You could just be yourself. And you loved how freeing that felt.
That is why you felt so excited ever since you woke up. Because you knew that today you could finally go back to playing l&d, and you could meet up with your Sylus after so much time apart. You quickly did your chores, spent some time on self-care to slightly relieve the fatigue from the weeks before, you put on your favourite cozy outfit and finally clicked the âenter gameâ button.
And there he was. Sylus was standing in the cafe, wearing his extremally attractive biker outfit and you caught yourself sighing dreamily at the sight of him. You missed him so bad, you missed the little memories you shared and the sound of his voice. You missed playing kitty cards with him, catching plushies together and even looking for that bastard Tobias again and again. You couldnât help but smile brightly at him.
âHi Sylus, you have no idea how happy I am to see you.â You said cheerfully, feeling kind of dumb for it but you couldnât help yourself. You often talked out loud to him during your playtime.
You watched him blink slowly once, then twice, and you started to think that there was something wrong with the server because his response should have already been uttered. But then the look on his face changed. At first, he appeared really shocked and relieved, but then a little frown appeared between his perfect little eyebrows.
âWhere the hell have you been?â He responded quickly and it shocked you. You didnât know that they could swear in the game, but after connecting some dots you figured that it had to be included in the special responses after the player was away for some time.
âAt work mostly, been so busy lately but now Iâm back and ready to defeat some Wanderers!!â You fist bumped the air above you, you couldnât contain your excitement.
You also noticed that his expression stayed the same. He was silent, looking at you through your phone screen with bewilderment, and he looked almost hurt. In an attempt to provide some comfort to him, you swiped your finger gently through his hair and across his cheek. However, when you touched his cheek, he closed his eyes and nuzzled into your finger, which made you widen your eyes in surprise. Was that always a thing? Was he always so responsive to your touch? It had to be a new feature; you didnât remember him being so lively.
âNext time you decide to leave me without a word, I think Iâm going to take more drastic measures, sweetieâ He said while opening his eyes. You couldnât help but notice he did look different than usual. More⊠realistic? Even the way in which he moved his body looked so smooth.
âIf not for Mephisto, I would have worried sick about your safety. You can't do this to me every time you have more work than usual; you have to visit me, even if it's just for a minute. I won't exaggerate when I say that I almost went insane after the first week of your cruel silenceâ And at that you were completely stunned. Should he talk this much? He never talked this much. And how could he know that you had more work than usual? Was that a lucky guess on the studioâs side?
âThatâs so weirdâŠâ You whispered and touched his hand to trigger some kind of reaction that would appear more usual than what was happening right now.
âIs that your way of catching me of guard? If you wanted to hold my hand so badly kitten, then you would have visited me sooner. I will not let myself be distracted by your cute little behaviorâ He raised the hand you touched and crossed his arms at his chest, while continuing to frown. And you were still so, so confused.
âPromise me that you wonât leave me again, I know where to find you now.â You raised your eyebrows and bit your lip gently. You started to feel a little bit out of place, you knew that he was not real, but he sounded kind of scary. His voice was demanding, and the part about him finding you? You shivered involuntarily.
âWhat happened? Cat got your tongue, kitten? Or did you finally understood the selfishness of your actions?â Sylus continued and you opened your mouth in awe. âPromise. Me.â He said slowly, his gaze unnerving. Suddenly you heard a series of loud caws outside on your balcony. The sound made you jump in place, and you dropped your phone on your bed. Was that a freaking crow?? Outside your apartament???
You quickly picked up your phone and cursed softly. You were going insane. You got scared just because the game had an update you did not know about. You almost wanted to laugh at how stupid that was. Almost. Because Sylus walked up to the front of your phone screen and spoke to you again.
âWhy are you hesitating? Are you really planning to leave me again?â You swore you never heard him so hurt.
âNo!â You said before you could think.
âNo?â He answered immediately, which scared the hell out of you. âI am not sure I believe you. And I canât stand it. I canât stand being away from you anymore.â He took two steps back and closed his eyes.
That was when the game crashed. Your phone appeared to be broked too, after the colourful lines appeared on the screen, flickered a couple of times and the whole screen turned black. You threw the device away from you and your heart started beating so fast you could hear the blood pulsing in your ears. You were so confused and genuinely scared. Was there an update that switched the genre of the game to horror? You were stunned.
And then you heard the knock.
You almost jumped out of your slippers. You brought your hand to your heart in order to calm yourself down and you started taking slow, deep breaths. Itâs just a game. Itâs just a game. Besides, how did Sylus, of all people, managed to scare you so badly? You adored that character, and you should know that he was prone not only to exaggeration, but also to intimidating appearance. That was literally one of his characteristics. So you forced yourself to calm down and opened the damn door, because it was probably a mailman, or one of your friendly neighbors, and here you were making a scene like a complete psychopath.
One. Two. Three.
You opened the door, and at first all you could see was a huge cloud of black mist. You closed your eyes in order to keep the mist from clouding your vision and then you felt wind pushing you gently further into your apartament. You heard the door close and the sound of the key turning in the lock. Everything happened so fast. And when you opened your eyes your knees almost buckled.
Sylus.
Sylus was all you could see. He was standing in front of you, in your own apartament, looking so out of place that you wanted to laugh. The first thing that you noticed about him was that he was huge, you couldnât really see past him, and the more you looked at him, the more real he appeared to be. Soft-looking silver hair, rugged skin, that perfect nose and those piercing eyes. They looked into yours now, and at first they seemed to be searching for something, and after one quick second they visibly softened. You could also see how his handsome, oh so handsome mouth started to display his signature little smirk. And that was when you started to tremble.
âW-whaââ You tried to say something, anything but your mouth was not working. You have never been so confused and scared in your entire life. âWhoâW-who areââ He was starting to close the distance between you and that is when the panic finally took over your body. You flinched and went to take a step back, but you slipped on your soft carpet.
Yet you didnât fall. You felt the gentle caress of the mist that managed to caught you before you hit the ground, and it streightened your posture so that now you stood tall in front of the man.
âCareful kitten, I do not think that falling on four feet applies to you.â He spoke out loud for the first time and the voice was so familiar to you. It was the same, deep, husky timbre that you loved to hear, the same voice that made you squeal in happiness, that lulled you to sleep countless of times. You couldnât believe it.
âOh my god, am I dead?â He laughed softly at your reaction and looked at you through his lashes. âThis canât be happening.â
âOh but it is. I knew that I would find my way to you, I just needed time.â He said and tried to close the distance between you, but you didnât let him. Every step forward he took, you took one back. âIt was so hard to find you. But after you disappeared without saying a word I think I got desperate.â Something flashed in his eyes. You recognized it as determination.
He stopped walking when he noticed that you were getting too close to the balcony. He straightened his posture, and you almost released a gasp. He was huge. And he was real. Alive and so, so real, that you had trouble breathing. You were so scared, but at the same time, so happy to see him, that your body didnât know how it should react. You just looked at him, taking him in, trying to assess whether it wasnât your mind playing tricks on you, or if it wasnât some random man breaking into your apartment and your brain had created a new, fantastic defense mechanism. But no, the longer you took him in, the more similarities you managed to notice: the scar in the corner of his eye, his unevenly clipped fingernails, strong but dry hands, olive skin, slim lips, long, slightly furrowed eyebrows. The not-so-hidden gentleness in his gaze as he was taking you in himself.
âItâs really you.â You managed to breathe out.
âYouâre so beautiful.â He answered and his voice was slowly starting to make you feel these similar butterflies. âSo, so magnificent.â He continued. You felt your cheeks heat up and he seemed to drink that reaction in. âWill you talk to me more? You sound angelic. I did not think that you could sound even better than you did through the phone but I guess you will never fail to surprise me, sweetheart.â He did not move an inch. He just looked at you, and you still didnât know how to react, but you were slowly coming to terms with the fact that it was not a weird dream. He was here and he didnât appear to have bad intentions. At least you wanted to believe that.
âYouâre still trembling. Are you really that scared of me?â He pressed his lips into a line.
âIâm sorry. I just⊠Iâm just not sure what is happening. I had no idea you were⊠real.â He laughed softly at that.
âYou wound me, kitten. Is that your way of unleashing your little claws?â He continued with a small smile on his lips and you couldnât take it. He looked⊠stressed. And you thought that was new for him. You spend so many hours playing with him in l&d but you have never seen him so stressed.
Everything that came out of his mouth was slow and precise, not a word was spoken without a purpose. However you could see by his appearance that he was uncertain.
âOf course Iâm real. And all the time we spent together is real too. Was it so wrong of me to expect that you would be at least a little bit happier to see me?â He was starting to look hurt. But not angry, not displeased. More concerned than anything, and that was when most of your worries started to disappear. He was your Sylus. He really was.
âI am happy to see you. I really am.â You said truthfully, the fear slowly dissolving. âWhat are you doing here? How did it happen?.â
âWhen you left me, I was worried to death. I had to come see that you were alright for myself.â He said, not taking his eyes from you. âI found a path between our worlds, and first I sent Mephisto after you. And that was how I knew you were fine, just busy.â He started explaining slowly and put two fingers at the bridge of his nose. This gesture was so familiar that you felt a slight pang in your chest. âWhich l understand. But you stopped visiting completely and I panicked that I lost you. And that you lost your interest in me. And when you logged in today I guess I just lost control over myself.â
âI had to see you. I had to feel you. I needed to know that you will never leave me like that again. But how could I be so sure if you thought I was not real, sweetie?â His voice carried a hint of a ridicule. He smirked slowly and you allowed yourself to relax. You spend so much time with him on your phone, that you knew when he really needed reassurance. And it was the first time you saw him being so honest about his own feelings.
You decided to step closer to him and his eyes widened slightly. His body tightened because of the sudden change in proximity, and when you gently touched his hand, bringing it to your mouth, he appeared to be rendered speechless.
âI would never leave you, Sy. At least not without saying goodbye first. You are my safe space, remember?â You said quietly and smiled at him brightly, reminding him of what you had written in your game bio. And then you brought his knuckles to your lips and placed a soft kiss upon them. His hands were much warmer than you expected them to be. They felt harsh, but gentle.
The next thing you heard was a soft grunt and you felt yourself suddenly being lifted in the air. You yelped and found yourself pressed against his big, solid chest. Sylus hugged your body to his by wrapping both of his arms around your torso, and when he realized that you werenât comfortable, he put one hand under your thighs and brought your body to his by your waist. You let your arms wrap around his neck and squeezed, and he buried his head in the crook of your neck. You heard him inhale your scent and his breath became rigged, as if he could not contain his excitement. You also became familiar with his scent. He smelled so manly and comforting, you could catch some notes of wood and leather, and something surprisingly sweet.
âYou smell divine. Youâre so soft, so warm.â He breathed against your neck and you felt goosebumps spreading throughout your whole body. You were so embarrassed, you felt like you needed to release some tension.
âI did not expect you to be so open with me. Youâre usually the teasing type.â He chucked deeply and put his forehead against yours, while closing his eyes. Your cheeks burned. You couldnât believe it wasnât a dream.
âThere will be a time for teasing you, kitten.â He rubbed his forehead against yours slowly. âRight now let me enjoy you for a bit. I canât believe I finally got to see you.â He squeezed you harder to him. You reciprocated the hug with all you had. You were actually kind of scared that your grip was too hard, but he seemed to bask in it. âCommunicating through that small device was not nearly enough for me. I could always see you and I heard your little responses to everything I was saying. But it took me some time to figure out how to change some things up.â Your eyes went wide at the mention of your reactions, you knew that a lot of times there were beyond embarrassing but you decided your blush to speak for itself. But what truly caught your attention was how he managed to appear in your home.
âChange things up?? You must have made such a mess, will it really be okay?â The concern in your voice made him look up and find your eyes with his. You were now looking at his beautiful red eyes, so full of adoration and determination. You could see that the consequences of his actions did not matter to him at all.
âSweetie, I would gladly burn the world down for you, even if it meant that I could see you just once.â You swallowed audibly and proceeded to shy away from his piercing gaze. You started to feel unworthy of such attention, you couldnât quite grasp what exactly made him care about you to such extend. âFortunately for everyone, the process did not involve starting an intergalactic war.â He smirked slowly, his eyes finding your lips and staying there for much longer than necessary. âYet.â
You chuckled at that and proceeded to bury your fingers in his hair, stroking the strands with care. They were so soft to the touch, they reminded you of silk. He closed his eyes and let you touch him to your heartâs content. Your hand quickly found its way to his forehead, and then to his cheek, stroking the skin delicately. You couldnât believe how someone so handsome could really exist.
âSee something you like, kitten?â He said and nuzzled into your palm, pressing a kiss right there. âYou will have all the time in the world to touch me, when we arrive in the N109 Zone.â He seemed so peaceful, so content with himself, but the mention of the N109 Zone stopped you in your tracks. You tensed visibly and he opened his eyes, noticing the change in your posture.
âThe N109 Zone?â You asked puzzled. âAre you taking me away for a weekend?â You took your hand from his face and he used his Evol to bring it back to his cheek. The mist around your fingers felt weird, but not unpleasant.
âFor a weekend? No, no.â He locked his eyes with yours, his head slowly closing the distance between you. He licked his lips and looked at your mouth once again. âI am taking you away forever.â And before his lips managed to touch yours, you flinched. Your hands quickly pushed him away and the panic returned to your features.
âWhat do you mean by that?â
âI meant what I said. Pack your bags if you believe there is something that I cannot provide for you quickly enough, and we will be off shortly.â He said matter of factly, kind of annoyed by the distance you decided to put between you. âLuke and Kieran have already prepared a room for you, although I think that you will have more than enough space for your belongings in mine.â His eyes brightened with excitement that you unfortunately could not share. Instead, you lightly pushed his torso, making him lower you to the ground grudgingly. His brows were once again furrowed.
âI canât go with you Sylus. At least, not for foreverâ
âYou can. We can stay together for the rest of our lives and no one would have any objections. I took care of everything.â He reached to grab your forearm and stroked it softly with his thumb. He was so sure of everything he was saying, that you could feel how much he let himself get lost in his fantasy. It did make you feel wanted, loved even. But no matter how happy you were that he was real, and apparently shared your feelings, you couldnât agree to his plan.
âNo, Sylus. I need to stay here, I have built my whole life in this place.â You could feel how much your words shocked him. He was looking at you so puzzled as if he didnât think that you declining his offer was even an option. âI canât leave everything that I managed to achieve, I really am content with my life, despite how complicated it can be.â You said truthfully. A part of you wanted to go with him, to feel safe and cherished for, for the rest of your life but you knew that was not realistic. You wanted to achieve more, you wanted to have your own life and your own space. You needed to be independent, to feel that you were perfectly capable of caring for yourself and your own needs.
âI do not understand. Donât you want to be with me?â It pained you how quickly he jumped to that conclusion. And you hated the look on his face - it made you feel like you were betraying him.
âI do want to! Oh my godâ I really, really do want to Sylus. I donât think that I can live without spending time with you anymore.â You smiled at him, and took hold of his huge, rugged hand. âBut I canât live with you in the N109 Zone. I canât leave my whole life behind.â And the fact that he wanted to make you do that somewhat scared you. Made you feel distressed.
âI see.â He sounded deep in thought. Then, he broke the eye contact for a second, looked at his hand in your hold and before you could even react, he grabbed your body gently with his Evol and picked you up. Your whole body was above ground and although you felt secured, you looked at him with surprise.
âWhat are you doing?â You wanted to get free from the hold of the mist, but it was impossible with how tight it was. âSylus, you have to let me go.â You tried not to panic, you knew that you werenât in danger. But he looked relentless, unforgiving as if his mind was already set in stone.
âNo. I canât. Not now when I finally got to have you.â He looked up at you, with his eyebrows still furrowed, and you could hear a hint of a growl in his voice. âIf you do not wish to go with me, I guess I would have to take you by force.â
It was then that you felt a sense of panic. You knew him, and you knew that if he wants something, he always gets it. It just did not cross your mind that he would ever go against your own wishes.
âNo. No, no, no, Sylus, please calm down.â He narrowed his eyes and stood almost motionless before you, devoid of almost any emotion. Almost, if not for the desperation shining through his movements. âYou cannot take me away. At least not for now. But I will do anything you ask me to! You can also stay here for some time, and visit me whenever you want to, I swear, I would be so happy to have you.â You just needed him to listen. You knew that you could change his mind, he always listened to what you had to say, he just needed a little bit of persuasion. Maybe he didnât even think about alternative options?
âAnd I would make you happy in the N109 Zone with me.â You laughed with disbelief. He was completely missing your point. You decided to once again yank your hands from the grasp of his mist, and then hissed with pain when it did not loosen up its hold. âYour struggle is futile, please stop, I do not wish for you to get hurt.â He was annoyed with you and your disobedience. He did not think that you would have any objections, he started loosing his cool.
âYou would never let me get hurt.â You answered, wanting to assure yourself of it as well. You didnât like how commanding he sounded.
âYes.â There was no doubt in his voice. âYes, you know I would stop at nothing to protect you.â His gaze never wavered from yours. He truly thought that what he was doing was for the best. And you just had to let him know how wrong his approach was.
âYes! Yes I do know that! Because I know you, Sy.â You started to sound as if you were pleading. Deep down it scared you, send uncomfortable shivers down your spine. âI know you, and I know that you also know me.â
He placed his hand on his heart.
âAnd I adore every single piece of information. And I still wish to know you much, much better.â You tensed when you noticed that his right eye was starting to glow. You did not know if that was intentional, or just a trick of the light.
âThen you MUST know how much this life means to me. How much I like my stupid job, and how much I love the people that are here for me. My friends, my family.â You noticed that your reasoning started to get to him when he clenched his fists and avoided your eyes for a second. âAnd you have to know how much it would hurt me if you were to take me away from them.â He appeared taken aback. It seemed that his longing for you clouded his judgement, and now he started to notice the faults in his plan.
âBut I cannot stand to be apart from you anymore, sweetie.â In normal circumstances that would be so touching to you. But nothing about this situation was normal, and you guessed you just had to show him how normal looked like.
âYou wonât be. You can visit me anytime you want. Stay for how long you want.â You wanted that too. So bad.
âBut that is not ENOUGH.â It was the first time you heard his raised voice and you started to tremble. His outburst mustâve thrown him off guard too, because he wavered and the grip he had on you loosed. You acted instinctively. You freed yourself from the mist and started to run towards your door. And although he was stunned by your reaction, he quickly teleported so that you ran straight into his chest. His hands grabbed yours in order to protect you from falling due to the impact.
He gently caressed your now slightly red forehead and sighed loudly. You could hear that he was hurt. You cried out from frustration.
âIf you really thought that you could run away from me then you must be a total fool.â He tucked your hair behind your ear and lifted your chin up with his finger. âUsually I like playing cat and mouse with you, but I do not like the fact that you appear genuinely scared of me right now.â He hugged your waist and brought you closer to him, lowering his head at the same time. âAnd that you tried to run away from me when I only want to offer you my protection.â
âIt doesnât sound like protection, it sounds like imprisonment.â You used strong words, but you sounded so small. You did not know what to do with him, you were so scared. âIâm just scared. I tried to run away because you scared me, Sylus.â You sounded desperate for him to understand you. To look past his own clouded vision.
âYou do not have to fear me. I just want what is best for you. For us.â His grip on your waist tightened, and he also proceeded to grab your wrist.
âNo. You only want what is best for you. You are not listening to me. I do care about you Sylus, but I cannot leave this place.â You tried to stand your ground but you two never argued before. It was an unfamiliar ground to you, especially when it was the first time that you had a conversation in person. Everything felt more intense and dangerous when you remembered the extreme measures he was always willing to take to achieve his goals.
âYou can. And I will make you leave.â He almost growled and a cloud of black and red mist surrounded both of you, and that was enough to bring tears into your eyes.
âSylus, no, please, I donât want to. Please, just listen to me, please.â And it was at that moment he started to came into his senses. Your quiet voice and your eyes full of tears made his breathing stop. It was the first time he was seeing you react like this. He hated how broken you sounded. How small. âIâm so scared, Sy, please stop scaring me.â Your voice sounded choked and you could feel that the tears started streaming down your face. Every single one physically hurt him. It was your first meeting and he already made you so miserable. He wanted to scream. âPlease.â You tried once again and it shocked you that it finally worked on him.
He tensed and released you from his grip. The mist also dissipated as he took a step back from you. You could hear him breathing deeply.
âI cannot do this." He sounded panicked. âI did not want to scare you, and I cannot listen to your little broken pleas. They break my heart.â He hidden his face in his hands and curled in himself. He felt as if someone pierced his heart with a knife and twisted it. He could not bring himself to look at your beautiful heartbroken face again. âThey really do. Please, just stop crying. You won.â
You sniffed softly and touched your wet cheeks. You tried to calm yourself down, he finally listened to you.
âIt does not feel so good this time for some reason.â You answered, referring to your Kitty Card battles. You wanted to relieve the tension somehow. You knew that he didnât want to hurt you, you understand that he lives in a different reality where danger awaits everywhere. You could understand why he wanted to have you beside him at all times. But it scared you how insistent he was, how brutal and final. âDo you really understand why I got so scared?â
He nodded helplessly. âI wonât steal you away. Not when I know how much you despise the idea of spending the rest of your time with me.â You noticed how hard he was pressing his hands to his face and you grabbed them in your own. He let you uncover his eyes and you saw how much it hurt him to let you go.
âOh, Sy.â You whispered and hugged his hands to your chest. âYou know thatâs not the reason.â
âStop calling me that. It drives me crazy.â He breathed and met your eyes. âYou drive me crazy. What am I going to do with you? How can I make sure you are safe now?â You took his hands and made him follow you into your bedroom. You sat on your bed and urged him to do the same. This way you could finally talk with him more comfortably.
âSylus, we have to talk about it.â You squeezed his hands and he looked at yours and took notice of how much smaller they were in comparison to his. So fragile, so breakable. He couldnât stand it. His whole body longed to protect you. âI do not despise the idea of spending my time with you. I just canât randomly leave everything I know and love. And this world is different from the one you know, we have our dangers but no one wants my head.â You explained to him slowly. âThere are no Wanderers. No protocores.â He looked conflicted.
âI already know that sweetheart. I do. But when you disappeared for such a long time I couldnât help but think that something bad happened to youâ he gritted through his teeth. âI nearly lost my mind looking for you everywhere. It was terrifying, that thought in my mind and the idea that I would never have another chance to speak with you. To see you.â He touched your forearms and brought you a little closer to him. âAnd when Mephisto found you safe and sound I thought that I never want to feel that fear, that helplessness again. And the only way to do that is to keep you beside me at all times. To guard you with my own body and soul.â He took your hand and rested it on his chest. You could feel the fast and steady rhythm of his heart. You could feel his desperation, his complete devotion. And it almost made you tear up.
âI-Iâm so sorry that I made you worry this much.â He studied your face with intention and you shake your head. âBut I didnât even know that you were real. I really though it was just a game that made me feel less alone and nowâŠâ You swallowed audibly. âNow I know that everything I built with you during our time together was very much real and Iâm still having trouble to wrap my head around it to be honest.â I smiled at him softly and he nodded with understanding.
âAnd then you came in and wanted to kidnap me to a world much more dangerous than mine where I do not have my close ones andââ
âI did NOT mean for that to be a kidnapping I though that you shared my sentiment, and also wanted to spend some timeââ
âSOME time?? Sylus you wanted me to switch literal worlds and live with you in your freaking villa in the middle of nowhereââ
âI live in an apartment that has a fantastic location, mind you, and you would feel so comfortable inââ
âApartament??? You cannot possibly be a freaking leader of Onychinus and live in an apartment complex, are you being serious with me right now??â
âHave you ever heard of a saying that the darkest place is under the candlestick, kitten? Besides there is no one in the whole N109 zone that would pose and actual threat to meââ He cut off when he met your eyes full of laughter, and then he heard that beautiful sound. You burst into giggles right in front of him and you touched him by the bicep and brought his forehead to yours. He couldnât help but chuckle too, understanding the absurdity of the situation. Feeling your forehead against his, hearing your adorable chuckles and inhaling your sweet scent made him feel so at peace that he closed his eyes to embrace the moment completely. He couldnât believe that he almost ruined your relationship by being so selfish.
âI missed this. This back and forth with youâ You said and he chucked deeply. âI really am happy to see you, Sy. And I swear that we will be able to talk and spent time with each other more often now. And actually see each other in person.â He nuzzled into your face more and you caught his smirk by the corner of your eye. âWe can stay in touch at all times, so that you wonât have to worry about my safety so much.â
âSo bossy, kitten.â He answered, but the small smile did not leave his face. He couldnât make it go away even if he tried. âForgive me for scaring you earlier. I was not thinking straight. I was just so elated to finally have you in my arms that I let my selfishness get the best of me, and for that Iâm sorry. I did not want to ruin our first meeting, sweetie.â You hugged him by bringing your arms around his chest and he closed his eyes drinking in the proximity. You were too small, too adorable, too attractive for him to take it. Too honest. Too lovable. Made just for him to adore. To protect.
âYou did not ruin anything.â You said into his shirt, hugging him tighter. âI understand you, Sylus. And I like you a little selfish if it means thatâs what brought you to meâ He smiled into your hair and reluctantly let go of your fragile frame. He touched your chin and delicately lifted your face up to face him. His eyes were once again drinking you in, committing every single one of your features to his memory. He sighed contentedly.
âSelfishness was not the reason of my visit.â You could see how his eyes softened and you felt your chest squeeze. You brushed his cheek, loving the way how he seemed to relish in your touch. His eyes wandered to your lips: pink, plump and so inviting. âAdoration was. The complete love and devotion that I have felt for you for quite some time now.â You gasped quietly and opened your lips slightly, which didnât go unnoticed by him.
âSyââ
âAnd I guess a little emotional push was what made me finally find my way to you, my beloved.â He half-whispered, leaned in, and pressed his lips to yours, locking you in a sweet, passionate kiss that went on and on, seeming to deepen with every minute you spent in his embrace.
âșË*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*Ëâșâ§ÍâșË*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*Ëâșâ§ÍâșË*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*Ëâșâ§Í âșË*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*Ëâșâ§ÍâșË*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í*Ëâșâ§ÍâșË*âąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©Í
#love and deepspace sylus#lnds sylus#sylus qin#sylus#sylus x reader#sylus fluff#sylus angst#l&ds sylus#sylus x you#sylus smut#lads sylus#sylus meeting#sylus real meeting#i was going insane#i think i like my men touch-starved#and desperate#and a liiiitle bit emotionally unstable tbh#pls donât judge#im definitely not a writer#im just a girl with her silly little sylus obsession#eng is not my first language#and thank god for that#i think i have two brains now#and they both think about sylus in an unhealthy amount#welp
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ââ SO IT GOES [Teaser]
SYNOPSIS
Thereâs something so forbidding about talking to a stranger about your relationship with your husband. Yet you find yourself in front of him, in front of this supposed stranger, every week; you fill him in on your time with your husband, including every detail. Heâs only there to help you right? Heâs only guiding you through the darkness to prevent your marriage from falling. Right? Heâs just a sex therapist, right? And so it goesâŠ
So it goes âą Jeong Yunho x Female Reader
Sex therapist!Yunho, married!reader, cheating husband (?)
Warning: (18+/ mdni) smut, infidelity, corruption kink, size kink, sadomasochism, dacryphillia, unprotected/protected sex, huge dick yunho, all the other smut warnings apply.
TEASER [word count: 2,630]
Your POV
Eyes.
Eyes express a lot.
A simple variation can translate to sundry of emotions.
Crinkle by your eyes? A genuine smile.
Fluttering eyelids? Nervous, anxious, flustered.
Wide eyes? Fascination, incredulity.
Scrunched brows and squinted eyes? Anger, rage, exasperation.
It comes as it goes.
All my life, Iâve been compelled by eyes; they hold a myriad of tales, unspoken, see-through stories of existence, and some mysterious truths. Reading eyes has become a habit of mine, an amiable idiosyncrasy I canât let go of. Some might call it an infatuation, and maybe it is.
Though, could I be blamed?
My senses go abuzz when I find my own interpretation of peopleâs eyes; sometimes, their eyes would express their sentiments even before their voice and body could. Interpretations and perceptions are not always based on impressions. I wouldnât judge anyone for their way of leaving a mark on me, or their speculations for that matter.
The irises which harbour different colours, they are a delight to read at times. From a hazy brown to a mystic grey, perhaps a dash of green and blue to the specks lined with the stark white; an idiosyncratic attribute ensuing a plethora of tacit inklings.
I had grown accustomed to noticing peopleâs eyes first, an urge coming to almost immediately when I peered at anyone; I would stare into the depths of the furrows and crypts, uncovering the different shades in them. Although, I might parade my pride in being adept at this said quirk, but I could never read his eyes.
That one perplexing man who had become my fixation, unknown to me how he did. With how cordially speechless he was, I could write a novel about his silence. Thereâs beauty in his silence, in his words, in his eyes; unfathomable, yet still so alluring and hauntingly beguiling. Without saying much, his eyes would inveigle anyone into doing anything for him. They were a trap, a well-played ruse to hold you captiveâanyone would fall into it, I did too.
Things have their own way of working out. I was told by some mistake of my past. As my days went on to become years of countless regrets and failures, I built my faith in his words more than ever. My beliefs were shaped by countless people coming in and going out of my life; although, the unpredictability of life can sometimes be a bitch.
Things donât work out on their own. It only took one person to change my opinions, my beliefs, my perceptions, and my life. A man who willingly chooses to remain in the dark, in the obscurities of his mind; it only took one man to change me completely. Lifeâs full of regrets and satisfactions. You fall in love, and you imbibe resentment, you find joy at times whereas thereâs also disappointment.
It comes and goes.
âI also work on referrals, Mr. Jeup.â
A coarse titter resonates through the empty hallway, followed by someoneâs dainty footsteps. Curiosity breaks your bubble, and you stop twisting the ring around your finger, pausing for a moment to direct your attention to the sounds passing through. You narrow your eyes down at the two people conversing in the middle of the hallway; a taller man you were supposed to meet with, and a middle-aged man, somewhat shorter in his stature.
When your friends were forcing you to therapy, they were raving about this therapist more specifically. And from their rambling, you could sure tell why they wanted you to be here. Your therapist was a good-looking manâthat certainly undersells the point, but you were tongue tied because of the band around your finger.
âOf course, Dr. Jeong. You donât have to remind me.â
âI feel like I need to,â the therapist lets out another laugh. âIâll see you in the next week, Mr. Jeup.â
Their conversation, seemingly muffled to your ear, was a pointless distraction from the anxiety crawling up your stomach. When you hear the manâs footsteps descend down the hallway, you look away, fixing your gaze on your newly manicured nails. You have the urge to chip off the fresh coat of polish off them, fidget with your fingers while this moment passed. The strangerâs silhouette grazes your skin as he walks past you, leaving you alone on the chair in the middle of a brightly lit hallway.
âMrs. Choi, I suppose?â
Your breath hitches in your throat, sensing a certain type of warmth lurk on your side. His shadow forces itself on you, compelling you to suck in another breath and compose your nerves. A frail stretch graces your lips and you turn to face him, crooning your neck further up to meet his eyes.
You hum out a response, âyeah, thatâd be me.â
He nods his head in acknowledgment. âCan we take a moment? Iâm sure youâre not in a hurry to get your session started right away.â
âI can wait.â
âThereâs no reason for you to beâŠâ he trails off, âanxious. I donât bite.â
You could tell he was joking, but your anxiety couldnât. Your brows scrunch up, and your lips tremble.
âOh, not a fan of jokes, I assume?â he clicks his tongue, smiling down widely at you. âI wonât waste much of your time, mrs. Choi. Ten minutes is all I ask and I dearly apologise if what I propose is an inconvenience to you.â
âItâs absolutely not,â you retort, not even taking a breath in between. âTen minutes is fine. I can wait. Thereâs no problem with waiting until you are comfortable.â
He lets out another chuckle, âitâll just be ten minutes, I promise. Iâll heed you the moment Iâm done.â
Nodding to him, you press your lips together and stare down at your quivering hands. An eventual gust of cold pushes through between you, making you raise your head up to find yourself staring his back; you keep your eyes on him till he disappears into the room, or his officeâyou canât be too sure about it yet. And you were back to being along on the confining cushion chair, sinking deep into it while your thoughts ran amok. With nothing better to do, you tip your head back against the chairâs support and close your eyes, deciding to catch a few minutesâ shut eye.
Well, you could hardly relax in whatever time you were told to wait; your thoughts proving to be heavy on your mind and your shoulders. What are you doing here? Should you really be here? Should you really have booked an appointment with a sex therapist out of all? You had your doubts when your friends told you about it; since when have their solutions ever been fruitful to you? This takes you back to the night you were sobbing your sad story to them. You find yourself reliving the night, at that dingy bar, on a sweaty leather couch, a booth too dark for your own good, and the chaos of your friends.
It was a tough night, that one. Nightouts werenât your scene anymore, not since you had gotten married. Spending your nights with your husband was more peaceful than going out to noisy clubs with your girlfriends. You had changed, and your friends gave you an earful about it every time they had the chance to. Regardlessâthat nightâyou wish to forget about it, burn the memory forever, bury it somewhere deep down within yourself, somewhere where you wonât retrieve it again.
Never againâŠ
âMrs. Choi?â
Itâs a sweet voice that jerks you out of your daze, making your body flinch at the sudden sound. You sit up straight in the chair, coming face to face with your said therapist. His soft brown eyes bore into yours and his lips have a fragile curve etched on them; he shakes his head and straightens up as well.
You blink twice, retaliating. âI wasnât asleep.â
âI never made any accusations,â he simply shrugs and turns on his heel. âIf youâve gotten too comfortable now, then you should see me inside, missus Choi.â
Thereâs spite laced to his words, so cleverly he enunciates them.
âYesâyes,â you clear your throat and scamper on your feet, following a step behind him.
âI may have taken a minute over the proposed time, apologies,â he speaks up, and stands by the ajar door, guiding you inside his office, or the aforesaid room.
âItâs fine,â you whisper, purposely keeping your tone down. A soft shade of red coats your cheeks, embarrassed at the prior moment replaying in your mind.
âPlease make yourself comfortable.â He states as he closes the door behind him.
The room is cosy. Thatâs the first word in your mind: cosy. Thereâs a long window to one side, overlooking the city. One of the remaining three sides of the walls is covered by paintings deftly hung on it, and the other two are left blank with a cream shade. The centre space is occupied by two armchairs facing each other at a slight angle, and coffee table separates the two. There are two floor lamps on the each side of the chairs, and some pages and a notepad are strewn about on the table. The rest of the room is neat, with necessary vacancies filled with furniture, and so on.
You sit down on the chair, focusing on a stray crease falling on the flounce of your dress. You have eerie fixations at times like these, times when your anxiety is speaking louder than your rationality. Murmured shuffling follows a soft grunt from him, he sits down on the chair opposite to you and crosses his legs. You hadnât given him much of your attention before, though now, youâre gradually catching up on the little details. His hair is a dusky shade of blue, he has sleek and frameless glasses perched perfectly on the bridge of his nose; and more precisely, heâs clad in a black suit with a grey shirt. Heâs lean, but not so much; he has a good built, and his height makes up for it.
âBefore we start,â he clears his throat, grabbing a hold of his notepad from the table. âI would like to assure you that this is a safe space, and the doctor-patient confidentiality secures your privacyâwhich weâve already signed on.â
You look up at him and nod your head, not making a sound.
He sighs and continues, âI would very much prefer if you were to use your words than staying mute.â Leaning back against the chair, he presses his lips together and breathes out, âconsidering itâs "our first session", Iâll cut you some slack. But I canât help you unless youâre willing to be comfortable with me.â
This time, his eyes grow heavy on you; the intense stare delving through yours, makes your body shudder.
âI understand, doctor.â You mumble, âIâll try to be upfront with you.â
âAllâs in vain if youâre not relaxed,â he adds, his words sounding wispy to you. âLetâs not take up much of your time now. We shall start, I suppose?â he asks you.
âSurely.â You donât know why you even spewed that word out, you didnât want to sputter the first thing that came to your head.
âGreat. First and foremost, I want to know whatâs on your mind right now.â
Itâs a simple question, right? Simple enough to answer without seemingly crushing down under the weight of your anxiety and stress. Right?
âWell, Iâll be honest. Iâm not sure about seeking therapy for my intimate relationship with my husband.â You blurt, rolling your shoulders out. âDonât get me wrong, itâs all new to me; how am I not supposed to be uneasy with this?â
âAlright,â he hums, his eyes straying off of you for a long minute before theyâre back on you, piercing through your soft and confused gaze. âThink of me as someone whom you would share your feelings with. A friend? Maybe. Weâre still bound to other liabilities though. If we were to, supposedly, take them into consideration, I believe that would make us friends with benefitsâstrangers with benefits sounds more cheerful on the ear, doesnât it?â
You could only nod to him, acknowledging his speculations, however eldritch they might sound to you right now.
âRight. Weâre both associated with each other in some sort of welfare,â he smiles weakly at you, âIâm not asking you to let your guard down, but I suppose, you could begin by telling me what your issue is. We can work out why you need therapy later on, that is after I understand your problem, Mrs. Choi.â
âYou make somewhat reasonable points,â you mutter under your breath, looking away to peer out of the window, noticing the sudden change of hues in the sky. âI guess, I can comply with what youâve proposed. I need someone to talk, anyway. Need to get these things off my mindâand why wonât a stranger, whom Iâm paying a huge fee by the hour, be a better person for it.â You shrug, redirecting your attention to him.
He raises a brow at you, a blank look in his eyes, a stoic expression written all over his face. Leaning to the side in his chair, he rests his elbow on the armrest and lets his forefinger graze his lower lip. He wants you to speak your mind, you could see it in his eyes.
âMy husband and Iâmy husband and I have been struggling with intimacy.â You squeak, âitâs starting to affect our relationshipâour marriage. Itâs too soon for us to bend.â
He hums again. âAnd how long have you been married for?â
âWeâveâalmost eight years now.â You answer, âwe met in college, became friends, graduated together, and destiny brought us here.â
âMarriages arenât meant to be perfect,â he begins, âitâs very common for couples to face challenges, struggle with their emotions, their differences and time becomes completely irrelevant in such situations.â He lets out a soft sigh, âhave you voiced out your feelings to him?â
âMany times,â you croak, âit always ends with him misunderstanding me. We grow further apart when it happens.â
He starts scribbling something on his notepad, âarguments are common too, Mrs. Choi. Your emotions are running high and if thereâs anything you want to avoid, is creating misunderstandings or misconceptions.â
âIâm aware.â You look away from him, staring down at the ring tied around your finger, the diamond glinting ever so gently under the bashing rays of dwindling sun.
âIs there, perhaps, something else on your mind, Mrs. Choi?â he questions, his words striking nonchalant to you. In all seriousness, heâs hit the right spot; your mind had been elsewhere since you spoke about your problem with him.
Your mind is dwelling on your husband.
âIâIâI shouldnât be saying this,â you stutter, fumbling with your thoughts and your words, your tongue growing heavy in your mouth.
âI canât help you if youâre not honest with me, Mrs. Choi.â
His voice is what stays reverberating in your head when the silence grows, neither does he tend to break it nor do you; the weight of your emotions starts building up on your shoulders, till youâre physically slouching, till you grow heavy to your notions. You fidget with your ring, twisting and sliding it along your finger. He watches you quietly, noticing your lower lip trapped between your teeth, which dent it in till it starts bleeding gently, your chest convulsing to the erratic rhythm of your heart, and your trepidatious mannerisms.
Heâs about to break the silence, but a sharp intake of his breath, snaps you out and you finally say out the words trapped between your teeth.
âI think heâs cheating on me.â
[COMING SOON]
SO IT GOES [M.LIST.]
#ateez#ateez fanfic#jeong yunho#ateez yunho#atz#jeong yunho x you#jeong yunho smut#ateez jeong yunho#yunho x reader smut#yunho x reader#yunho#yunho smut#ateez smut
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I know every fandom has it's fair share of "incest"(not sure if thats the correct term) but it seems like the cod fandom has it so much more than the other popular ones
I mean maybe I'm not đŻđ»đźđȘđŽđ enough and I know every person has their own turn ons and off but it can't be just me who thinks this is weird/cod fandom has like so much more of it (and I have been on the internet for a good 8+ years and have been deep in fandoms)
(idk maybe I'm just rambling out of my ass because I have ocd and intrusive thoughts place my own family members the moment I say words about a family)
Omg hi friend!
First of all I want to say that I'm glad you asked because I've actually been thinking about this!
I have a major(MAJOR) turn off for actual incest in fanfiction. Maybe because I lived through homestuck and people fucking love incest in that fandom, but I cannot read it without getting squicked out. Faux-cest though doesn't seem to give me the same problem and I think it's because there's always an undercurrent of "this is pretend" when done right, it feels porn-y, fake. I think it's because (in my mind) faux-cest falls under the "humiliation/degradation" kink, there's an overt power dynamic there that feels... different from actual incest fics.
Which also? The amount of people who have DDlg/MDlb kinks in this fandom is insane. Every day I see people calling Price "daddy" and I just... I'm gonna be so honest with y'all I hate seeing "daddy" in a fic, I don't mind caretaker doms but I just can't get into age play or the uwu cutesy way some of those fics go. But that's just me.
All that to give me some credibility in telling you: I don't think it's the cod fandom at large, but maybe just the writers who all follow each other and seem to get the same brain worms at the same time(I am guilty of this).
I think for some people there's an element of "I just figured out how to write this kink and I'm making it everyone's problem" and for others it's a "this seems popular at the moment let me throw my hat in the ring." Personally I had a faux-cest dream that I didn't particularly enjoy, honestly felt more like a nightmare, but I figured other people would see kink in the horrific so I popped it up on the blog.
Anyway I don't think you have to be "freaky enough" or even put yourself through reading a kink you don't enjoy, there's a reason I've been putting trigger tags on all the faux-cest stuff! I want people to be able to filter it out. Hell, a lot of it squicks me out, and I've written some of it. I don't really see it as any more prevalent in the cod fandom than others though. I mean every fandom has a decent portion that jump straight to incest stuff, you may have just managed to avoid it fairly well.
#ghoul speaks#does this need a discourse tag?#i appreciate that you came to me with this!#i hope this didnt sound rude or like i was discounting your feelings#actually i agree with you for the most part#i think a lot of it is from the prevalence of the daddy kink tbh
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so tired of seeing all the shauna haters say they âlove complex female charactersâ because shauna is THE complex female character in yellowjackets. her behaviour is never explained at surface level and thatâs what makes her so fascinating to dive into !!!
shaunaâs trauma is formed differently from the othersâ, most closely aligned with mistyâs i would say. while misty is able to be herself and therefore outcasted, shauna isnât herself at all to avoid being outcasted. she mentions this time and time again, especially in her fight with jackie where she confesses that she lets jackie choose what she wears, who she hooks up with, who sheâs friends with, what sport she plays, what she does and says every day. sheâs completely debilitated by her need to please others.
when people call her âcruelâ or âmeanâ, they are talking about jackieâs personality !!! because thatâs exactly what shauna is until jackieâs death and even long after - a carbon copy of jackie. shauna has bursts of anger in a way jackie doesnât because this whole character sheâs putting on is exhausting to play.
even hooking up with jeff is her trying to become jackie. she wants her children to be jackieâs, not with jackie and herself, but purely jackieâs. she longs for the one thing she canât have, the one person she canât be OR be with.
from the moment she finds out sheâs pregnant in the wilderness, sheâs already undergoing the most trauma out of all of them. maybe not before, of course with natâs dad and coach martinezâs death, but as soon as she finds that out sheâs condemned to a life of suffering and she knows it.
i always see people saying they donât like her âbefore her traumaâ but the version of her after jackieâs death IS the real shauna !!! thatâs the point !!!
if you like jackie, youâre liking shauna. if you defend misty, youâre defending shauna. she is the most complex character in that sheâs not morally grey, sheâs morally black AND white
#yellowjackets#shauna shipman#yj#jackieshauna#shauna shipman DEFENDERđ#anti anti shauna shipman#yj opinions#shaunashpmn#sophie nelisse#melanie lynskey#jackie taylor#misty quigley
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And no one in the world can see through you...
I think one of the most important and acute themes of the drama is the desire to be seen, to be real for someone. The desire is so greedy and desperate that many heroes are ready to die for it.
Because without this feeling of being seen and understood, they feel like they are in an endless dream. Not so real. And for the opportunity to become real, they are ready to pay with pain and life.
Ying Lei and Bai Jiu both died trying to do something meaningful for their special person. Striving to be the one who changes something - himself, alone. And maybe that's why they were so reckless.
Li Lun sacrificed his immortal existence to become a real man for one day - the man Zhao Yuanzhou will not forget.
The bird goddess understands that this Fei is not real - and understanding this, she kind of see the real Fei in her heart.
And therefore she feels it as if they are finally together.
This is a desperate, beautiful but painful desire to have someone who sees you and whom you see, someone who will illuminate the darkness of your loneliness, especially acute and painful for those who are used to feeling like an "anomaly".
The drama also raises the social aspect - about how anomalies are not accepted by society, are seen distortedly and falsely, and this experience of social invisibility makes the desire to find someone who will see and understand the real you even stronger - sometimes dangerous and even destructive.
All the characters are in some sense are dreamers in a dream and puppets in a play.
And in this play you can go beyond the given role, show a glimmer of your true self only at the moment when your role ends. And every hero here dies looking at the one for whom they wants to become real most of all.
This interestingly reflects the fact that under censorship, a lot can only be shown at the cost of the hero's death. Like queer couples in censored dramas, they usually die in the finale (at least one of them). Antiheroes who reject the laws of this world's also usually assert their right for sympathy with a selfless death.
But in reality, a person asserts themself and finds understanding not through death, but through life. It is not the final sacrifice, but the path traveled that matters.
And this is where I see the meaning of Zhao Yuanzhou's path.
He could have died in the middle of the story - and the villain would not have received his power, and the world might not have needed to be saved.
But then ZYZ would have died unrecognized and misunderstood, lonely.
But thanks to the path traveled, he finds someone who sees him, who understands him, who loves him and makes him real.
And for Zhuo Yichen, this is no less important - for someone who was afraid of his dreams and therefore lived as if in a dream, for someone who was afraid of that unconscious part of himself. And therefore, diligently fulfilling his social role, he did not get close to anyone.
But the more alive and real they become together, the tighter the web of fate becomes. As if resisting their desire to be together.
And yet I would like to think that this desire and their mutual reality turns out to be stronger than the tragic scenario.
Like at the moment when Zhuo Yichen was supposed to die together with the villain, but did not die because the Zhao Yuanzhou's spell "recognized" him.
This desire to stretch the thread of connection through all obstacles, barriers and through death itself is very tangible in the way they're holding hands.
And this courage not to let go even when it seems the universe itself is separating you plays a key role in the finale.
"I recognize only the principles of my heart," says Li Lun.
And I like to think that along with his power, he passed on to Zhuo Yichen a part of his rebellious spirit and gave Yichen the courage to resist fate.
Yichen too manages to save part of Yuanzhou's soul because he knows that soul truly. They manage to pull this theme of mutual recognition into a situation as far away from an act of love as possible.
This "I knew you would do this" "and I knew you would do this, and that's why I do something else" and "you're still so..." - as both recognition of "it's you" and surprise and recognition anew.
They are both tied with ropes to their roles, like puppets of a demon who fulfills wishes. But they see each other beyond these roles. And with his final act, Zhuo Yichen seems to connect their destinies beyond the boundary where their roles end.
Zhao Yuanzhou had to fulfill his role as a sacred sacrifice and leave. Zhuo Yichen had to fulfill his role as an instrument on which Yuanzhou would make his sacrifice. But Yichen, taking on an active role in a situation of impossible choice, goes beyond the role of an instrument - and thanks to this, he can do what does not fit into this role.
Save Zhao Yuanzhou's life and connect their fates beyond the fulfillment of the prophecy.
And now they're both free.
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kwon as your boyfriend <3
a/n: whoops i broke my rule of only posting once a day lmao but idc this man is too fine to even regret this. if im gna write for ck itâll probs be for only kwon i never really paid attention to the others ngl đđ maybe miguel (UPDATE I MEANT AXEL) too but idk ive seen fics n i think id make him ooc so bear w me lmao
weâre continuing with the overprotective partners squadâą, starring bitches and bros and nonbinary hoes (ifykwim ILY) who just. are so down bad for their partners theyâd do anything to keep them safe
this guy is one of the top ranked members đŻ
although it is true, kwon is definitely protective over youâ it depends however, as in, depending on how capable you are to defend yourself. this doesnât only mean physically, verbally too.
if you are into karate and have the skills to pay the bills (another reference lmao), kwon wonât be as protective, as he himself acknowledges your strength and is very proud to let others know you are his partner.
if itâs the other way and you donât do karate, it just increases his protectivenessâ he wonât judge you for it or anything, but will offer to teach you some tricks in case of an âemergencyâ (basically him going to a match and wonât be there with you) so you can defend yourself, though youâd probably have a âguardâ with you lmao (yoon đ)
very touchy, but more in private, and just an arm around your shoulders, back or waist in public. kwon would most likely give you his jacket too, as a sign for anyone not to mess with you
is so gentle with you behind closed doors; like full on holding your hand and pressing a soft kiss, holding your cheek and staring lovingly into your eyes, having you in his arms every time you kiss, heâs a whole different person when it comes to his partner, and obviously has a soft spot for you
teases a lot lmao. say, for example, you get jealous over someone walking over to him and ask for his number, kwon would quickly notice and be so smug with itâ attempts to rile you up and see how long you can remain calm before before doing anything
wonât stop mentioning it too đ âaw, remember when you got jealous~? how cute.â will make it up to you though, by making out âtil you arenât mad anymore doing anything you want
lots of cuddling, kwon feels reassured and relaxed if youâre laying beside himâ either having your head on his chest or on top of him (IN A NON DIRTY WAY STOP đ), anything that includes you being close together = happy kwon
will defend your honor as many times necessary, this guy does not play when it comes to anyone badmouthing you in front of him, he wonât hesitate to kick their ass (literally)
always strives to cause a good impression to you. if youâre present during any of the tournaments heâs attending and such, kwon will be showing off lmao, that smirk on his face when he wins and sends a look your way
the longer you date, the more heâs sure you two will marry, in fact heâll even bet his own life about itâ kwonâs just that sure, he knows you wonât leave him, youâre stuck to him like glue and canât run away đ
âyou can run but canât hide from meâ â kwon
âwanna bet about itâ â you
uhhh what did you do lmao RUN
this man is too fine ugh how does he do it
#cobra kai#kwon jae sung#fluff#hes so hot chat#literally dehydrated rn /hj#kwon x reader#x male reader#x female reader#x gn! reader#giys pls get the references PLS#kwon jae sung x reader#meracyn#âwe love kwonâ we all say in unison
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TFA!Soft!Controlling!Blurr x Cybertronian!Femme!Reader Oneshot: Wife
(Iâll do a more wholesome and tooth rotting fluff for our blue speedy boy! Ugh I love him! Why is every mech in this series so fine?!)
TW/Tags: 18+, bit of a dark content, Ultra Magnus basically adopts you, Jazz is your older bro, manipulation, baby trapped, implied dubcon, sort of sad ending.
You were once an archivist. You worked alongside a few bots and femmes. Long before joining the elite guard. You were just a good friend of Ultra Magnus. Your sire was his best friend before dying during the wars against Megatron years ago. In a way he was like an uncle to you.
He has tried many times to ask you to join him. Go to the academy and be a part of his team.
You know heâs doing this to protect you. It was your sires dying wish when the two were in battle together. One day one of his guards Jazz asked you if youâd like to go to a race with him. He thought, maybe you can join him.
Thinking you can leave that dusty and dark library for once. So you agreed.
Jazz was like a brother to you. At time protective when other guys try to flirt with you especially in front of Ultra magnus.
During the race you sat with some energon popcorn as Jazz cheered. Apparently he knew of the racersâŠ.. Blurr.
He was good pals with him back in school and although the two separated. They do catch up every now and then..Fun how thatâs so how for most people when their own ego gets in the way.
So during the race as you ate your energon you watched as Blurr was on the screen. Youâll end it heâs pretty cute. Talks pretty fast. Adds a lot to his character.
Blurr is soon to claim victory as he cheers on his crowed. Waving to his fans as confetti and music plays. Everyone cheered along with Jazz. As they continued Jazz would then get up and gently grab your cervo. Taking you with him.
You both made your way to where the racers went. Jazz telling you to stay close by.
As you did. A few readers noticed you and even flirting with you. Both femmes, bots, and GN Cybertronians who were in the race.
Youâd pay them much mind. Itâs one of the reasons why you stayed where you were.
Eventually Jazz pulled you closer and put his arm around your shoulder. It resting as he leaned a bit on your as he smiled at his friend. âHey Blurr! I want ya to meet Y/N! Sheâs like my lil sis! So be nice.â
Youâd gently elbow his on his side as you chuckled. A smile on both your dermas as you glanced at him. Blurr only watched you for a moment as you and Jazz looked at each other. Things seemed to stop for a moment as he stared at you. Before it returns to not gain suspicion with the other bots around him.
Heâd make conversation with you. Jazz staying there with his arm around you. Blurr tried really hard to not smack the shit out of Jazz the whole time.
You giggled a few times at Blurrs jokes and his funny personality as Jazz did the same. Eventually Jazz is called for something and has to step back. âYouâll be alright if I step out?â Youâd nod as Jazz then fist bumps Blurr before leaving. Blurr glances at you then smiled.
âWould you like to go out?!â You stared at him as he looked like he was panicking.
The others bots and femmes not paying much attention since the cheering died off after a few hours. Youâd just looked at him and just smiled. Youâre not completely sure. But you suppose it shouldnât hurt.
He was fast to grab your cervo and bring you to a corner close to the exits. No one noticing ou as his cervos gently held your arms. You both out of shot.
He would then whisper into your audio sensors. A few of his words making let out of a soft sigh. Youâd have a small smile on your dermas as your cervos rests on his shoulders. Him pulling your frame against his as he wraps his x arms around your waist. Heâd then speak of a date and time before kissing the side of your neck.
Before you knew it he was gone. Leaving you by the exit and soon Jazz shows up. Blurr telling him you here.
You both would then walk back to Ultra Magnus. You have been meaning to pay him a visit.
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
After a few days it was your and Blurrs date. The date went well. You were a bit nervous since the restaurant was very fancy. You only just lightly polished your armor before making your way there.
The date wentâŠwell. Blurr was polite but. Mostly flirtatious. You gave him another shot with a few others dates. One night you thought it wouldnât hurt to be in his arms, as least for one night. And soâŠyou laid with himâŠand then you did again.. and again. And again. You always told yourself you were swooned with him. The way he would compliment you and hold you close after each date.
But you would always have this strange and off feeling in this gut as heâd always give you rough kisses and the glances and looks heâd make when others got too close to you or even spoke to you at times.
One night, after another âlovelyâ date. You were on your back. Blurrs load leaking from your valve after going a few rounds. He was next to you.
His arm supporting himself up as the other was around your waist. You both having a small make out session as both of you let out small moans and sighs. Your cervo moved to press against his chest as you wanted to speak.
You can tell he was a bit annoyed but compliment.
Youâd then tell him the important news. âIâm going to the Guards academy. I wish to join Ultra Magnus team.â You said it point blank as Blurr just stared at you.
His smile then returns as he chuckled. âThen I guess Iâm joining in the Elites theâŠâ
Heâd say with you a grin. Why did that make you nervousâŠHeâd return to place a kiss on your dermas. Your cervos moving to hold the side of his helm as you returned the kiss. ButâŠyou held back from making your cervos push him away from you. Youâre not really sure why you were going to.
Youâd both stay there for a whileâŠuntil he decided he wished to go another round.
Years went by as you both attended the academy. You still stayed on your birth control. To avoid getting sparked with a sparkling from Blurr. Once you all graduated. Manus was fast to having you join his team. Magnus would accept Blurr but say his place is on the planet unless he calls for him.
Blurr was not too happy about the order.
After some time when finding Optimus and his team. Blurr was aloud to join you and the team to come to earth. Eventually after everything. You and Blurr decided to go on a small vacation. You have been thinking for a good while about your relationship with him.
Itâs justâŠnot healthy. So one day as you both were having dinner. You spoke.
âBlurr Iâve been thinking.I Itâs just not working out with us. I canât go anywhere besides work and you always wish to be with me and yet I cant do anything when we go out. And I-â
âY/NâŠâ You looked at him. He almost seemed sad as he looked at you. A small frown on his dermas as he looked at you. He never looked at you like this before.
âPleaseâŠIâll do betterâŠjustâŠgive me a chance! Please! Iâll do better promise!â
His optics pleading for a chance ouâve always been sympathetic and it wouldn be truly cruel to deny him oneâŠ.would it? And so you sighed and slowly nod. A smile soon appearing his dermas.
Later that night the two of you watch a movie together. And before you both knew it you both laid together. You justâŠcouldnât hold yourself back from him. You loved his touch. His kiss. How gentle he can be with you. How he would whisper sweet nothing in your audio sensors as he made you feel special.
ButâŠyou forgot your birth controlâŠ.
Before you knew it.You were with sparkling. You found out when you returned to the ship with Jazz and Ultra Magnus. You can tell Ultra Magnus aand Jazz weâre trying to hold in their excitement since they saw their self as your family.
Ultra Magnus seeing himself as a soon to be grandpa and Jazz as a soon to be uncle. But the whole timeâŠYou forced a smile.
After months went by, Ultra Magnus gave the order that you go on leave for some time until youâre better after the birth of your sparkling.
You had a small boy. He was so small but so healthy. Having so much life im his optics and even in his strength as he always made it a point to grab at your digits.
Blurr was over the moon when he held his little sparkling. Gently keeping him resting on his chest as he smiled down at the little sparkling..You could feel it through the spark bondâŠ.
Ultra Magnus looked like a proud grandfather when holding the young sparkling.
The little one looking like a mix of your and Blurrs armor. His color palette being similar to yours. But is just as bright as his. Having Blue optics and a large grin whoever he smiles.
Before you knew itâŠYou had two more little sparklings running around. Jazz always visiting when you werenât at work as the academyâs teacher.
ButâŠ.Blurr never changesâŠIf not became more controlling. He wanted more sparklings. But youâd always dodge his question or his advancesâŠ
Even now..youâre unsure on how much longer you can keep this up. All you ow is⊠You must keep your little ones safeâŠNo Matter What.
I hope you guys could somewhat enjoy this! I swear Iâll make a more wholesome one for our sweet blue boy. As always a repost is appreciated and please have a good rest of your day!!!!
#tf animated#tfa blurr#transformers blurr#blurr x reader#tfa blurr x reader#x reader#transformers#transformers x reader
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FLUFF ALPHABET W/ ELLIOTT â STARDEW VALLEY
SUMMARY: The Fluff Alphabet by @snk-warriors featuring Elliott!
CONTAINS: sfw, gn! reader, fluff, established relationship, spoilers for his 10 & 14 heart event
NOTES: I havenât known what types of headcanons to post so Iâm hoping this might inspire me. Iâm taking requests, by the way, if youâd like to help a girl out! Enjoy!
A = Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?
Elliott loves cooking and baking with his spouse! Even if youâre not great at it, heâs happy to teach you! As long as itâs edible, heâs happy and proud of what you made together. That phrase âa way to a manâs heart is through his stomachâ applies to him specifically.
B = Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?
Itâs so hard for him to narrow it down but if he has to, itâs your generosity and strength. He could watch you do farm work for hours (and he has) and he loves that youâre so giving and that you donât think twice about it.
C = Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?
Elliott is at your side immediately, asking how and/or what he can do to help. If you ask for a minute alone, for example, heâs preparing your favorite snack and movie or show. Or maybe a bath or shower, later reading you to sleep. Heâs doing whatever he can to help you!
D = Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?
He dreams of the typical white-picket fence dream: marriage, kids, growing old with you. More than that, he wants to take care of you, to protect you, to provide for you. As long as he knows he can do that for you, he can die happy.
E = Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
I can see this going both ways. I feel like if youâre a woman or feminine presenting, heâs more likely to subconsciously take on a dominating role. If youâre a man or masculine presenting, the same still applies but less so. Itâs not that he has sexist views! He was raised with these values in mind and it didnât help that a lot of the media he consumed growing up portrayed a damsel in distress. If this makes you uncomfortable, you can tell him that and heâll be much more mindful of how he treats you. Regardless of your gender, heâll always be protective over you and thatâs something you cannot change.
F = Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?
Yes, without a doubt, yes. Even if you hurt him deeply, heâs already forgiven you long before. To quote James Fraser from Outlander because I feel like Elliott would think the same: "She asked forgiveness, and I gave it. But the truth is, I'd forgiven everything she'd done and everything she could do long before that day. For me, that was no choice. That was falling in love."
G = Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?
Heâs eternally grateful for everything you do. For him and for the community. You save him from dying a lonely hermit on the beach! For that, he feels he owes you everything.
H = Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?
Heâs very open and honest! I donât think he intentionally keeps secrets. Like with the piano, you didnât know he could play so beautifully and he would probably not have brought it up unless you found him playing. Or if it didnât come up in conversation, he probably wonât mention it. Except itâs something actually important, then you can trust heâll tell you. But in that case, it probably wouldnât be a secret.
I = Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?
Youâre his muse! You inspire him every single day. You helped him to write his book. He runs a lot of things by you because he knows that youâll give him kind constructive criticism.
J = Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?
I donât think he gets jealous easily. He gets jealous like the average person. When he does, however, he becomes passively aggressive. If he notices someone flirting with you, heâll politely remove you from them and gently scold you. He might be a little petty so youâre probably going to have to apologize a bit more than you normally would.
K = Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?
YUP. Heâs a romantic and very in tune with his partner and what they like. Your first kiss with him was magical. He wasnât clumsy or too rough. It was sweet and gentle.
L = Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?
On a shabby little row boat out at sea!
M = Marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?
Yes! He feels itâs the natural next step to your relationship. He proposes to you on the beach while the sun sets. Your marriage would be pretty low-key but never lacking. Especially in the bedroom. You both are happy and content with your quiet lives on the farm. Whenever Elliott goes on a book tour, he brings you along, considering it a vacation.
N = Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?
Darling, love, dear, sweetheart, beautiful. He called you darling, love, and dear before but when you started dating, he added âmyâ in front of it.
O = On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?
Elliott is pretty animated already but even more so when heâs in love. Heâs much happier and carries himself more confidently (if you can believe it). I donât think itâs obvious to anyone but his friends. Leah, for example, notices it almost immediately. He expresses his feelings through writing in his âsecret bookâ of poems expressing his love for you or your likeness captured through a character in one of his books.
P = PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?
Yes, heâs very proud to be yours! He doesnât necessarily brag but he talks about you whenever heâs given the chance. Heâs not shy about physical PDA either. Of course, nothing inappropriate but definitely touching you in some way or kissing you. Heâs not in the least bit shy!
Q = Quirk - Some random ability they have thatâs beneficial in a relationship.
Elliott is a very smooth talker. He almost always knows exactly what to say. And I know that would otherwise be a red flag but he does stumble over his words frequently too! He never wants to risk loosing you, especially over something thatâs his fault.
R = Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?
Heâs extremely romantic! Heâll happily help you around the farm and later take care of you when you come home: making dinner, bathing you, massaging you. He also loves reciting poetry to you whenever youâll listen.
S = Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?
You can count on him for any sort of support you need and heâll gladly help you work towards your goal(s). He has always believed in you.
T = Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?
He doesnât feel like itâs a necessity. He likes adventure on occasion but heâs also very happy and content with your daily routine.
U = Understanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?
Heâs very empathetic towards you. Heâs good at remembering details about you too, regardless of how insignificant it may seem. He remembers what you like and donât like, things youâve mentioned that you want, or little stories from your past.
V = Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is itâs worth in comparison to other things in their life?
He values your relationship the most out of everything he has! Heâll always put you (and your shared family) first. He loves you more than writing and readingâand thatâs saying a lot.
W = Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.
Elliott absolutely hates when people touch his hair. But youâre the only exception. Even though he may tense up a bit at first, he eventually melts into your touch. He trusts you with his life, and more than that, his hair.
X = XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?
Heâs super affectionate! He loves touching you, whether thatâs through hugs, hand-holding, cuddling, or kissing. He takes any chance he gets to tell/show just how much he adores you!
Y = Yearning - How will they cope when theyâre missing their partner?
When he went away on his book tour, he took to sending you letters. He also called you at the end of every day. He prefers to call rather to text because he wants to hear your voice.
Z = Zeal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind?
Absolutely! Anything you needâor want, even. You can always count on him. Heâd pet a sea cucumber if itâd make you happy.
â HAVE A REQUEST? SUMBIT IT HERE!
#đŠ hermit-headcanons#sdv elliott#stardew valley#sdv#stardew elliott#sdv bachelors#fluff alphabet#fluff
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Humor me for a moment
What do you think each gang members favorite shows would be if they were from this century? Like modern shows and stuff?
OOOH this is very interesting, and I got a few in mind :)
some are more accurate maybe, some had to be mustered up to be filled in since I had no ideas D:
the guys:
Dutch â Hear me out; fashion shows. This man is first in line for the TV remote when theres a Victoria's Secret runway on one of the channels. That, or those "Wear or Tear" shows. He becomes a true fashionista.
Arthur â I feel, same with Charles, he'd be into watching Bear Grylls surviving in the wild. I don't know how to explain this one tbh, it just sounds right to me.
John â I really struggled with this one, honestly. I could NOT think of one thing he would watch. Anyhow, Abigail doesn't let him watch too much of it, but he'll also tune in when theres a football match OR, even better; baseball. I feel like he's a baseball type guy.
Javier â Another hear me out; Spanish cooking shows. This I have literally no explanation for, it came to me and I instantly said 'oh, YES' aloud. So, I'm sticking with it.
Micah â Would be big into sport channels, football and especially big on ice hockey. Let's be honest, he's literally a dad on Sunday afternoons but like, every day of the week, my little couch potato. His main thing would be ice hockey and I stand firm by that.
Lenny â Just a hunch here, but I think Lenny would like crime shows. Whether it's something like Criminal Minds or actual criminal cases and how they were solved, he'd be very much interested in that.
Sean â LOVES to watch people wrestle. He's either laughing about someone getting their shit handed to them or screaming at the TV for one of the people to punch harder.
Bill â Dog shows!! He loves those dog competitions where people train their dogs to run around and complete the courses, always cheers a certain dog on like it's his own and like he's getting the prize money.
Hosea â Chess competitions. I also don't know how to explain this one much, but I feel like he'd enjoy learning to play/to get better at chess through watching others play it, making little notes on a paper.
Strauss â Gotta be those old people Bingo channels with like, live games. He tried making his own bingo cards and literally nobody wanted to play with him because they said it was boringâand that he did it all wrong :( Otherwise peepaw loves that stuff.
Josiah â He loves watching "[Country]'s Got Talent", any country really. As soon as he sees a magician come up, he instantly locks in to see if he knows the trick that person is trying to do, and he especially loves the dangerous stunt compilations on Youtube. Rewatches them on a daily.
Reverend â Mostly online church services and those live broadcasts of it. If not that, which he does daily imo, it'll be some drug documentary. (struggled with this one D:)
Charles â National Geographic Documentaries; do I need say more? It's how he mostly learns about wildlife, if you don't count books. That, or I feel like he'd enjoy watching Bear Grylls surviving in the wilderness.
Jack â Honorable mention for Jack, the Kratt Brothers.
the girlies:
Sadie â She's also into crime shows, and especially true crime. You can't watch it with her because she loves to comment on EVERYTHING happening in the show, stuff like calling the killers bastards and finding what the clues the police find mean before the people in the show do sometimes.
Tilly â I was unsure of this at first, but I feel like she'd enjoy either cooking or gardening shows, but I'm more leaning to the latter. Likes to learn about all the different plants, sometimes writes information down in case she wants to plant something herself.
Mary-Beth â You know she'd be big into drama series and all the different reality TV shows. I swear, she'd literally LOVE Croatian drama shows and series so much, on the edge of her seat the entire time, literally. That, or she loves cheesy romances, of course.
Karen â I don't know if you guys have this, but we have a show which roughly translates to "Marriage at first", where two people get married at first sight. You can say yes or no at the altar after you see them for the first time, and the show leads you through the upcoming two-three weeks before the wedding. She'd love that, would be judging the wedding dresses the women pick the entire time.
Molly â Watches sickly sweet romcoms to heal her poor, broken heart. Good for her. :(
Abigail â Watches whatever Jack wants to watch mostly, but if she's got free time to watch something herself, she'll mostly use drama shows as background noise. Somehow, I feel like she isn't big on watching TV, so like myself basically.
Susan â She reminds me so much of my grandma that I have to say Turkish drama shows. My grandma has to be in bed by 8pm sharp with her shows, and that is exactly how I see Susanđ
Thank you for this lovely ask, I had fun with it <3
#rdr2#micah bell#red dead redemption 2#red dead 2#rdr#red dead redemption two#red dead#rdr1#rdr2 micah#rdr2 community#dutch van der linde#arthur morgan#john marston#javier escuella#bill williamson#hosea matthews#charles smith#sadie adler#tilly jackson#mary beth gaskill#karen jones#susan grimshaw#molly oshea#abigail marston#abigail roberts#lenny summers#sean macguire#leopold strauss#answered asks#08melancholie
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And YOU will feel healed of the last 15
... when you read this fic. That is, as long as you suffered from an abandonement wound like i did.
Ello lovelies, i have another wonderful fanfic-rec for you! đ€
But you are an ocean by @ineffably-good
Coverart by @ineffableclassics
What it is about:
After Aziraphale's defection, Crowley tries to figure out how to live life for himself.
Notes:
Ok so, the end of season two broke me. Figured I was maybe done writing stories about these two after that. And yet, several hours later, a sentence appeared in my head, and then this happened. Guessing at chapter totals⊠I'm finding I like the idea of Crowley going off in a different direction than what I'd initially expect. Not just raging, not sleeping for a century, but actually trying to move on. And why the hell shouldn't he just move to the South Downs by himself? So here we are.
What i like about it:
đ©·This fic doesnÂŽt jump in on pushing the story - their story - forward. Instead it goes a totally different path. A quite big part of it is dedicated to Crowley mending the pieces of his broken heart. ItÂŽs endearing, itÂŽs breathtaking and it will have you cry. Not only for Crowley but for every single person who ever had to endure heartbreak.
đ©·Fun fact no.1: in real life I am a relationship-coach specialised in toxic relationships and heartbreak. And the way CrowleyÂŽs heartbreak is described couldnÂŽt be any more accurate. Every thought, every pain, every action he takes, the strength it costs him, the weight of it all - its written absolutely to the point. I could have copied several pages for the "most beloved quote".
đ©·So Crowley tries to build a life for himself. Not just living without the angel and rotting in a pit, but really trying to carve out a nice little existence for himself. He is doing his work, he is healing and you can follow along with him, as he learns to build at least new "friendships" - though he would never call it that himself, thanks a lot.
đ©·This healing-journey takes quite some time and somewhere in the middle of it i started to think - he could do it. He COULD heal his hurt, mourn the loss and still somehow at least live a life on his own. Maybe feeling the missing part of himself for the rest of his existence, but not being miserable about it the whole time. And that is a thought - a wish - i would have for my dark angel.
I could see him living that life and at one point i almost thought - i would love to see how that wouldÂŽve played out for him. A life without Aziraphale. What connections would Crowley have made? How would he have coped with the loss of those humanly connections lifespan after lifespan? Would he have relocated each century? Would he have moved to Australia and learned surfing at one time? Would he have become a timelord and travelled - i mean seriously, Crowley could do that probably?
But you, my dear, are an ocean.
And oceans are ancient
And can survive everything,
Even the wrath of weather and planets.
-- Nikita Gill
SPOILERS AHEAD - if you donÂŽt want to know the plot, stop reading here.
Stop reading if you dont want spoilers!
Ok - youÂŽve been warned! Here we go: đ€
đ©·Fun fact no.2: I actually downloaded this fic some time ago but had another fic in mind i wanted to start next. So after i finished the last one (also really brilliant, i wrote a rec on it too), i started my e-reader the next day, THIS fic was already open instead on page 1. Huh?
I have absolutely no idea how this is possible, but i DO believe in hints-of-the-universe. Or little demonic miracles on their own. Because i needed this fic.
đ©·Because of course - this is a Good Omens fanfic and eventually the other angel arrives. And without giving away to much: Aziraphale has to fight for Crowley. A long long time. He has to be steadfast and consistent and earn the trust of his has-been-companion-for-millenia. Nothing is a given any more.
And i am NOT saying that this is what Aziraphale needs to do or that he was wrong in any way. (The fic doesnt say that either by the way.) But what cracked ME personally about the last 15 was my own abandonement-wound which got triggered massively. I felt retraumatised even.
So reading and feeling that Crowley does not jump on the next best possibility to be back with the angel was a big thing. Having the Angel slowly earning his trust and simply showing up again and again - I needed that. I needed Crowley to take his time, not be the sick lovefool he is often proclaimed to be. For him to have doubts, to feel conflicted, to feel love and the need to self-preserve at the same time.
All these ambiguities we all have. And to take the steps with him. Watch the turning point, when the fear of losing Aziraphale again becomes less and less and the fear of wasting time gets stronger. Taking one step at a time, sometimes even backwards. All those things, typical for a healing process, which is never straight forward but most of the time a rollercoaster instead. I loved this. I needed this. I could sit back, breathe and watch my own heart grow. Just. Wow.
Most beloved quote:
So if you feel like maybe you need a fic in which Aziraphale really shows up and cares while Crowley really takes his time to learn to trust again... And not because one of them has been an idiot, but to experience them both learning and growing together ... and that might be something for your own healing journey, this might be just THE fic for you. I absolutely loved it and so will you.
Reading is therapy! đ€
#good omens#good omens fanfiction#ineffable husbands#good omens fanfic rec#fanfic#fanfic review#fanfic rec#fic rec#good omens fiction#crowley#aziraphale#healing journey#healing#abandoment issues#therapy
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Just wanted to maybe request an addition to the Stockholm!Rhiannon and raise you Yandere!Rhiannon.
Rhiannon, who kidnapped you not because you witnessed a murder but because she needs you. Maybe she wants you to watch her kill someone, maybe it gives her a rush?
She keeps you tied up, and maybe one day you call her crazy, or say that she needs help and she gets so angry that she kills someone and then blames you for it? Convincing you to stay because it's all your fault that she killed that innocent person and look at what you've done to her.
I love your writing so so much, could I maybe be đ anon?
â warnings: yandere!rhiannon. sheâs insane in this one, guys. kidnapping. canon typical violence. obsessive!rhiannon.
rhiannon didnât kidnap you out of revenge or because you witnessed something you werenât supposed to -she kidnapped you because youâre hers. in her mind, itâs not even a question of morality; itâs a mere necessity. she didnât even have a proper reason to take you, except her growing obsession. you happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, bumping into her at night, after one of her kills. you couldnât have known, the blood hidden under her rain coat.
there was no reasons that would justify the fact that she had to have you that night, only the adrenaline from the kill and the need to be yours the way youâre hers already.
she keeps you tied up at first, but not in the garage where she keeps most of her victims (youâre not a victim to her, after all). somewhere personal, somewhere that feels like her. she wants you to associate your surroundings with her presence. she tries her bedroom, at first, but the way you stay up half the night, exhausting yourself by banging the back of your head against the bed frame to make some noise soon pisses her off too much to keep you there. so, she settles for the living room instead.
when she does untie you (on good days), sheâs extra vigilant, watching your every move. you can feel her eyes boring into your back no matter where you are; whether she has ran you a bath to clean yourself up or allowed you to move through the space because you stopped feeling your legs from all the sitting.
after a while of your unwilling stay (she refuses to call it what it really is.), rhiannon starts introduce you to her violent nature, not just as an observer but as an accomplice in her mind. she wants you to watch her âworkâ because itâs the ultimate expression of who she is.
by then, youâve obviously put two and two together and realized that sheâs the killer on the loose that everyoneâs been looking for. youâve also noticed that she really seems to have some fucked up kind of soft spot for you: in all the time youâve been here, rhiannon has not once laid hands on you (except for when she first took you). sheâs been surprisingly gentle, instead.
that doesnât make it any less terrifying when she returns home to you exhilarated, her clothes stained with blood, her breath heavy. she smiles wide, kneeling in front of you to explain in graphic detail how much she enjoyed it. âi did it for you. doesnât that mean something?â
the first time you try to ignore it entirely, to draw your eyes away from the crimson thatâs staining her clothes and is still dripping from her hands when she runs them through your hair. yet, when it becomes a frequent occurrence that she confesses her kills to you, you canât hold it together forever.
the first time you call rhiannon crazy, her expression freezes, and you know youâve struck a nerve. she doesnât lash out at you immediately, but later that night, she returns with blood on her hands all over again -more than usual.
âyou did this,â she accuses, her voice trembling with faux heartbreak. âyou made me feel like i wasnât enough, and i needed to prove myself. donât you see? this is all your faultâ
itâs the first, yet by far not the last time rhiannon does this: she plays the victim often, lamenting how âdifficultâ youâre making things. she tries to convince you that the outside world could never compare to all that sheâs capable of doing for you.
âyouâve seen what iâm capable of. do you think anyone else would protect you like that?â she asks while serving you dinner sheâs cooked.
through all of her madness, that soft spot for you is still palpable: sheâll sit beside you while you sleep, stroking your hair, whispering how much you mean to her or surprise you with gifts sheâs stolen from her victims -a necklace, a watch, something she thinks will make you feel special. âlook what i got for you. do you like it? say you like itâ
if you ever dare to defy her, though, she becomes cold and calculating. she might isolate you for hours or days, refusing to speak to you while you remain tied up, just to make you beg for her attention. on the flip side, when you comply or show her even the slightest kindness, she becomes overwhelmingly affectionate, showering you with praise. âsee? thatâs how itâs supposed to be. just usâ
any mention of someone else, anyone who isnât part of this imaginary âusâ rhiannon has created (whether a friend, family member, or stranger) sends her into a jealous spiral. âwhy are you thinking about them when iâm right here? what do they have that i donât?â sheâll start making veiled threats about cutting off any potential ties you have to the outside world. âif they cared so much, theyâd already be looking for you!â
at this point youâve learned to tread carefully, where a single wrong word can send her spiraling into either rage or despair. and yet, as she crouches in front of you after another kill, her eyes wide with the kind of devotion that suffocates, you feel something snap inside you.
âwhy are you doing this?â the question tumbles out of you before you can stop it.
rhiannonâs lips part, surprise flashing across her face. clearly, she hadnât expected you to speak. then, she leans in a little closer, her breath warm against your face.
âbecause youâre mine,â she says simply, her smile curling into something sharp, like this is the most logical conclusion. âyouâll see that eventually. you have toâ
as she brushes her bloodstained fingers down your cheek, the realization sinks in that sheâs not just convincing you. sheâs convincing herself of this, too.
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I should really be ashamed to complain about this but since there's nothing left of this world anyway (TL;DR everything is so remarkably shitty now down to the smallest little annoying details, exponentially shittier than it was five and then ten years ago, and it's fucking crazy-making):
For work, I need to watch a movie that I know is on Prime. I go into Prime and look up the one-word title. It gives me a short list of "top results", not including my movie. Under "top results" is a slew of other lists of movies, broken down by varying made-up subgenres; at a glance, none of the titles even contain the word I searched for, and none of them have anything to do with what I specifically want. I close the Prime app and open Plex, whose search function immediately tells me that the exact the movie is in Prime, and links me to it. By clicking the link in Plex, I am able to watch the movie on Prime.
I don't know what Prime is thinking. There seems to be an assumption that when I look for one exact thing that I know I want, that that's not really what I'm doing -- I'm actually secretly saying "Uh, I dunno, just like, pitch me something, find something to sell me on, I don't really care." How the fuck is that better business? Because Prime refused to serve me something that I explicitly asked for, in favor of pushing a whole bunch of shit I don't want but that it assumes is more popular with other people, I almost didn't use their service at all. There was no world in which I was going to give up on my actual requirement and just allow myself to be forced into some other unrelated, unwanted waste of time. And this is not because I'm such a frugal and conscientious consumer, I'm not really that smart even, but I wanted A SPECIFIC THING and if I didn't get it, then that would be the end. Why is there no way for me to get the FULL MATCHING RESULTS, why is there only "top results" and then a bunch of shit I didn't ask for? When did the search function just become like a random, vaguely-related recommendations engine? How is this supposed to help Prime get my business? I mean really, I didn't enjoy this experience, but how does this strategy even serve their own corporate greed?
YouTube does a similar thing to me where it will notify me about a new video from one of my subscriptions, and if I click on that, the app opens with the video playing in a little tiny reduced window shoved to the side of all these browsing options. Like as soon as I say "yes, I want X," YouTube instantly doesn't care; it only wants me to keep shopping around for other stuff that I have not said "yes" to already. It's like a bad boyfriend who isn't interested in what you actually consent to, he's only interested in what he can bully you into, that you would have otherwise avoided.
(I guess the physical-world equivalent would be the type of consumer who is in a permanent, almost subconscious retail therapy spiral, where they do way more browsing and buying than they do using and enjoying. The person's home is full of unopened packages and they probably wind up re-buying a lot of stuff because they don't even know what they own. This is probably every company's ideal customer now, and maybe this is why if I order an item from an online store, that store will email me every single day to try to make me buy the same exact item again, as if the thing I want is only the pleasure of buying, rather than owning and using the item.)
It drives me crazy when I see these arguments online about how you're a stupid idiot if you think that the internet is shittier and more intensively commercialized than it used to be. I think it's often that the cohort of people who are really techy and net-savvy overlap with people who are a little conservative in that way where they are instantly enraged if they hear some soft-hearted rube complaining about the dominant system. If this type of person sees a post by some glum little liberal about how the internet used to be more fun and easier to use, they will immediately shit right on top of that guy's head just to be spiteful, often using a small armory of data to gaslight the plaintiff into thinking that their problems are imaginary. It's the same as that thing that happened recently where a bunch of mean-spirited libertarian-flavored blogs started making all these posts explaining that the American economy is doing awesome and anyone who thinks that inflation is happening is a stupid piece of shit. Which was like, OK fine, all those graphs and numbers you got from right-wing think tanks look great; I take it back, there's no inflation or whatever, but now you have to give me a different word to use to describe why I can't afford anything anymore and everyone I know is in a constant, desperate search for a place to live where they won't starve.
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Marriage Headcannons
Jimin x reader
Masterlist
I think marriage with Jimin would be an endless journey of tenderness. He would love you deeply and show it every day through his little gestures. From saying "I love you" first thing in the morning to sweet text messages throughout the day, heâd remind you constantly how much you mean to him.
Jimin would always make sure to remember special momentsâanniversaries, birthdays, or even little things like the first time you met. Youâd have a photo album or a memory box filled with things that represent the most precious moments in your relationship.
Jimin would wake up next to you, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead or lips before even opening his eyes fully. Heâd love to hold you close and spend the first moments of the day just enjoying your presence.
Home life would be full of laughter. You and Jimin would share inside jokes, playful banter, and a lot of silly moments. His infectious laughter would fill your home, making it a cozy, joyful place to be.
Heâs very involved in all aspects of the relationship. He wouldnât let the romance fade after marriage. Regular date nights, spontaneous trips, and even sweet little surprises would be a part of his love language. Whether itâs planning a night out or just surprising you with your favorite meal, heâd always go the extra mile to keep things exciting.
Jimin would love you even more as time goes on. The longer youâre married, the more deeply heâd cherish every moment with you. Heâd be completely smitten by you, always telling you how lucky he is to have you as his partner.
You could expect lots of kissesâwhether youâre in public or at home, Jimin wouldnât shy away from showing how much he loves you. Holding hands, kissing your cheek randomly, or even brushing your hair behind your ear, heâd love finding small ways to connect physically throughout the day.
Marriage would mean teamwork. Jimin wouldnât just be your husband, but your teammate. If you were facing challenges, heâd be there to support you in every way, encouraging you and offering help however he could. Heâd take on the challenges of life together, facing everything as a partnership.
Jimin would want you to feel safe, not only physically but emotionally as well. He would always be there to listen to you, reassure you, and take on the tough moments together. Youâd never feel alone with him by your side.
In marriage, he would be deeply in tune with your needs. Jimin is incredibly observant and would be able to tell when somethingâs on your mind, even if you donât say it. Heâd know how to cheer you up after a bad day, and would always be there to lend a listening ear when you need it.
He would love to create a home with you. Jimin would be the type to spend hours picking out home decor, cooking meals with you, and creating a cozy space together. Your home would reflect both of your personalities, filled with love, comfort, and warmth.
Youâd share quiet, intimate moments too. Sometimes, the best moments would be spent simply enjoying each otherâs company. Maybe youâd be curled up on the couch with a movie, or in bed late at night just talking about your dreams and hopes for the future.
As parents (if you decide to have children ofc), he would be playful but also nurturing. Jimin would absolutely love being a dadâheâd be the one whoâs always playing games, making silly faces, and making sure to keep things lighthearted. But heâd also be an amazing source of support for both you and the kids.
Jimin would constantly talk about the future with you, imagining a life spent together, growing old side by side. Heâd want to make every day as beautiful as possible, knowing that life is fleeting, and he wants to make sure every moment is filled with love.
On anniversaries, heâd plan something really special. Whether itâs a vacation to a place youâve always wanted to go or a quiet evening at home filled with meaningful surprises, Jimin would never let an anniversary pass without making you feel celebrated. Heâd want to reflect on how far youâve come together and how excited he is for the years to come.
There would be no greater comfort than Jiminâs arms. In marriage, those moments when you just need to feel safe and loved would mean the most. Jimin would be there to hold you, reassure you, and remind you that everything will be okay.
Heâd always prioritize you. No matter what life threw your way, Jimin would always make sure that you knew that you were his number one priority. In both small, everyday moments and during big life changes, youâd never question where you stood in his heart.
Requests may be made. Only SFW. Surrounding BTS and Avatar (The Way of Water) only at the moment.
#bts x reader#bangtan fluff#bts fluff#jimin x reader#park jimin#bangtan sonyeondan#jimin fluff#park jimin fluff
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I REALLY want to talk about/reblog/draw fanart of the game
Outer Wilds.
But!!!! I can't!!!!
Because I NEED everyone to play it blind
It absolutely has to be played blind. It is a puzzle of cosmic proportions and the only thing stopping you from finishing it in ten minutes is your own lack of knowledge.
My brother got me to play it while I knew ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, I never even heard of the game, and it was the kind of breathtaking masterpiece that I still find myself hurting for the chance to experience blindly one more time.
It really is a one-time only experience
if you wish to have your whole ass blown off by sheer wonder, take a leap of faith and jump in.
(the dlc is another whole ass game within the first one, it's pretty hard to stumble across without looking for it, so if you do buy the dlc it won't impact you until you're ready. The dlc is also brilliant, but the main game has my heart)
#I WILL be pimping this game periodically#and maybe one day every person would have played it#and I'll have the freedom to toss around spoilers without feeling like I'm stealing something precious from people#also if you get stuck I'll try to give hints to point you in the right direction without actually taking anything from you#and from what I remember the reddit for this game is really good about keeping help spoiler free if you want to go there for help#we all REALLY want people to get ass blown on their own#just request as few spoilers as they can and they'll oblige#yep it is heart hurty time for this game rn#woke up and remembered I already played it#sad#âI really am sorry that I have to be a mysterious asshole that can only say PEOPLE I SWEAR IT IS GOOD. Can't tell you why. Good tho.â
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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#piplup#now THIS is a starter!! the quintessential starter⊠to me. this is the Default Starter Pokémon. when i think of starters. sometimes. usually#of course it's always the one i used to think of. maybe that would've changed nowadays? it probably would have actually#but this guy is still a very Starter Pokémon to me#especially since i always wanted to be this guy in pmd sky. when i was a kid. but i didn't know how the personality test worked#so i just kept redoing it and giving the same answers every time. i was like. well it gives different questions so i should be able to do it#and sometimes i would just give answers that i Think a piplup would give. i think i got it after like a trillion resets but by that point it#was dark out and i had to go to bed. and then like. we had to return the game to family video the next fuckin day so i didn't even get to#play it that much.    i experienced the beginnings of games i liked when i was a kid a lot. i was not very good at games
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