#and marvel fandom is WAY LESS NUTS about this than star wars fandom is

[bedlamsbard]

one of the things I've noticed changing about Star Wars over the past seventeen years or so -- I originally got into the fandom in 2007 -- is that along with general fandom shifts, there's also been a shift in base lore knowledge and expectations that was not here ten, fifteen years ago, that's partially reflective of the shift in the actual canon. not necessarily the EU to new canon shift, but the kinds of stories and characters that are focused on in the new canon, that then reflects back on what fic writers are expected to know. I don't know how many people remember that Wake and Gambit predate Disney canon; they're not really EU fics, but they're closer to that than they are to the new canon because they are older than almost anything in the new canon. like, what was and wasn't canon LITERALLY changed while Gambit was in progress.

I do think that the pre-Story Group, there was a lot more flexibility in what was and wasn't "canon" as far as fic writers go -- and I do see this in other long-running fandoms too, but everyone else is less insane about it. it feels like ten, fifteen years ago, it was a lot more forgivable both to not know things from canon and to ignore or change parts of canon if you did not. and today it's basically like. a crime. and this isn't the nitty-gritty lore stuff like Darth Malak's home village, but things that are now being taken for granted as being common knowledge that really, really were not ten, fifteen, twenty years ago. and for those of us who were writing back then -- or earlier, I'm sure there's people who were writing while the PT was actually coming out, let alone the older OT and EU fen who have the same problem -- it's incredibly jarring to be ripped for shreds for something that would not have been an issue when the story was coming out. because it wasn't hard canon. because it wasn't common knowledge. because if it wasn't onscreen in the actual films it wasn't considered canon. because if you hadn't read the books/comics/whatever you would simply not know it, and this was pre-ebook, or at least right on the verge of when ebooks were starting to be a thing. you had to have the actual physical books and if you didn't have access to them, you would simply not know the thing. and now you're expected to just know all of that. like, Wook was around back then, but it wasn't modern Wook, and you have to know it exists to look things up on it, you know. back in the day it felt like it was a lot more acceptable to just make things up if you don't know them and today in this fandom it feels like you really really cannot.

went into a fugue state and started rereading Backbone and I'm not sure if you guys are aware of this but this fic is really really long

[kurtty-drabbles]

Ocean au

N/A: Based on the movie Ocean 8 but with the ladies. Set on the Almagverse.

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @bamfoftheundead

"You´re nuts" Gwen offers a cigarette as well her criticism to the latest plot but her mirth and shinning ring make any attempt to chided Columbina becomes null now. "Completely nuts and I love it, but, how can you hope to do such wacko feature? This time my good name won´t be enough"

Columbina stops drinking her smoochie and is unphased by the comment. "Your good name also gave me quite the headache" and her eyes follow the ends of commercial as Peter Ross is speaking much to Columbina´s dismay.

Gwen offers an apologetic smile that does little to resolve the matter, but, flicking the channel to cartoons seems to help much more. "But, seriously, how can you achieve such a thing? Isn´t better just the two of us?"

Columbina sighs and lets her head rest on the couch for a moment letting her worries play on her mind one last time as she´s pondering for the solution. "Everyone thinks that being a thief is easier, but, you would be surprised by how much of Math and logic I need in all my heists" she comments matter of fact. "that being said, I know the probability of me getting success is less than 15%...but hey, I have done heist with zero chance of success...what´s life without risks?"

"A longer one, dumbass" Gwen counterattack throwing a pillow at her. "And remember, your calculus was wrong before...and it usually leads to me cleaning your wounds and green goo" she concludes offering a winning smile as if this proves her case.

"One, the green goo things was an accident, and two, if you have an alternative option to deal with the cursed diamonds I all hear" Kitty then open her eyes and raise her head waiting and as Gwen is frowning and thinking really hard until she shakes her head in defeat. "then...we´ll try my plan"

"Your stupid and suicidal plan"

"No, my brilliant plan"

______________________________________________________________________

Everyone can see the White Witch in the Romanian cafe drinking her favourite beverage. At this very moment, Wanda is explaining to her new students the prospects of the multi-verse and her students have questions as she knows they would.

"So...is there a version of me where I´m the bad guy?" the student asked impressed as the others are a bit dubious as they can´t see themselves as ...themselves.

Wanda imagined this and has the answers ready. "Yes, the multiverse is more like a chance to express your different personalities, after all, we´re not only the shy girl, flirt girl or angry girl...so the Multiverse gives a plethora of choices and opportunities to be different persons while we´re still ourselves" Wanda explained and the minds of the others are reeling with such explanation and possibility.

"Have you meet a different version of yourself?" the student asked and Wanda is ready for this question when her eyes noticed a woman with a suit and sunglasses waving at her behind the glass window. And Wanda stops her elegant speech to gaze at the personas the waves continues.

"Mrs Maximoff?" The students are confused as to why the Wanda is acting like that and when turning back to see the window there´s no one there.

"I saw many versions of myself, some are good, some are bad...some make me question my own sanity" Wanda replies and the students change the subject. The students then leave the cafe with more insight into the world.

Wanda is not surprised to see the woman in a suit sitting in front of her with that smile of hers. She does not need any introduction. "Columbina, came to venture in the magical world?"

"No, thank you, I have my Harry Potter fanfiction for that. I came here to ask you something" Wanda asked taking a sip of her tea, her eyes are trained on Columbina who has a light heart attitude about everything.

(The Eye of Eternity does not see malicious intent on her, however, she does not want to be robbed)

"Harry Potter is a weak and pathetic version of real magic, Lord of rings is better, but, I know you´re not here to star fandom wars. What do you want?"

"Straight to the point, cool, it saves us from the chitty chat, Wanda, how many cursed diamonds exist?" Columbina asked and Wanda is carefully considering her answer, but, Kitty already beat her on that by pulling her smartphone to show a video.

"There are 100 cursed diamonds registers so far, but, the number is getting bigger and bigger, right?" Columbina asked and Wanda nods not getting her point.

"You know me, I love diamonds, I really do, but, I don´t like those cursed diamonds and the fact they can tangle with the real ones is troublesome to my job and I can see that is also troublesome for your personal life"

"What do you mean?"

"The last cursed diamond activated and you were forced to deal with the problem and lose your sons` birthday" she shows her cellphone again to see an article of a very crestfallen and pissed Wanda who is holding the diamond and confessed to the press she missed her sons` birthday for this. And the reporter did show some thoughtful for the heroine.

Wanda nods once again. "What you want me to do? those diamonds only enter in action when people touch and I don´t want to scan every diamond for the rest of my life"

"Well, I want the cursed diamonds out, and I have a way, but...I need your help" and adds "no, you won´t be a scan. White Witch. I need you to help me to steal cursed diamonds"

Columbina is doing a marvellous job pretending to not be afraid. Wanda can kill her in one blow and they both know this. Phasing and quick thinking go so far against someone like her.

Wanda is thinking and letting her hands support her face as she closes her eyes. Suddenly, her eyes open and she replies. "Tell me, what you usually do with the normal diamonds?"

"I can only tell if you´re in"

"Well, better your plan to be good, cause I don´t want to miss another moment with my family"

_________________________________________________________________________

"Lorna, I need your help" Columbina speaks to the green-haired woman who is furiously typing on her laptop and while acknowledging Kitty´s presence, she still is focused on the laptop.

"What? I´m hacking an asshole right here"

"Do you want to steal cursed diamonds?" Kitty asked in a sing-song voice similar to ''do you want to build a snowman" from Frozen which is Lorna´s favourite movie judging by the merchandising she has on her room.

"Yes"

"That´s easy..."

"I like to meddle with magic"

"Ok then"

__________________________________________________________________________

Meggan Braddock is silently pondering the words she just heard from the aerialist who is, in her own words, just hang around, as she does not like gruesome crimes like Meggan.

(Meggan can sense she´s being genuine in every word she spoke and is surprised that a thief can be so honest)

"Is your plan good to take care of those cursed diamonds?"

"We have the White Witch!"

"Ok, count me in"

__________________________________________________________________________

Gwen Stacy is talking with Peter Ross who is still trying to win her heart, which is still funny for the blonde, but, as soon Kitty Pryde arrives with her gym outfit and showing her muscles.

She made a remark about how she needs to lose some steamy. "Thank god, for the Kickbox and MMA" and Gwen stops giving attention to Peter who is not taking kindly to this.

"Gwen, who is this?" Peter asked rather rudely as he knows this woman (pretty as she is, there´s no denial on his part about this aspect) is not someone who belongs in the same social circle of Gwen, right?

"My name is Kitty Pryde and you are..." she asked knowing who he is and relish on his dumbfound expression.

"I´m Peter Ross, the famous reporter of New Gotham"

"I thought Kurt Ryder was the bam bam of New Gotham" And Gwen chuckles at this scene. Peter is really not fond of Kitty, but, to icing the cake, Kitty asks Gwen to follow her as they have to talk about something.

"Gwen?" Peter asked surprised that Gwen is doing so. The Blonde just waves at him and follow Kitty sharing secrets only to the two women. Peter really, really hates Kitty Pryde and Columbina.

_______________________________________________________________________

"Kurt, why are you smiling like that?"

"Rogue, my dear sister, I've got the feeling something wonderful happened"

"...Why I think Peter Ross will be a bitch to work tomorrow?"

[hanorganaas]

So I am doing a bit of an emotional dump because these past few days have been an emotional roller coster and in a good way.  And I just need to let it all out so forgive me for the rambling

The fact I can finally say I am moving out to a community that could finally help me thrive I couldn’t at home and actually fit in with the people is just a wild concept for me, because I thought would be stuck in a house or thrown somewhere because my mom couldn’t handle the fact i was standing up to her where I had more control over me.

I am happy about this, and though my ADHD puts me on the opposite end of the spectrum I can still fit in with people of all levels, some who you cant even tell have developmental disabilities and have a group of caring friends who wont judge me for my little stims and quirks while still talking about Star Wars and Marvel which I hadnt had since College. 

Most of all. I admit I have so much Anger towards my mother, she provided but still said such horrible and emotionally abusive things to me which fucked me up beyond control. It didn’t help because she is definitely emotionally unwell so it was like Russian Roulette being around her because you had to be careful what you did and what you said, especially since she craved attention, to look good in front of her friends. But......I know how much hating a parent who has been mentally unwell, eats you alive because I done it with my Father.

My father was an alcoholic, also suffers from Bipolar. Last year he became Sober with my brother who became an Alcoholic at 26 because of the same demons he went through with my family. But because of the Alcoholism and untreated Bipolar, he was just as ignorant and hurtful, (he still a bit of a dumbass but is trying). I was angry he wasn’t there. I was angry he didn’t understand me. I ignored him for years. I hung up on him many times. But the anger was so corrosive, it made me sick and physically ill. But when he became Sober this year, and we went through the death of my Nanny, while there is still anger I need to sort out which he knows about, I started to be less hateful and started to hang out with him more, and though there are still things that annoy the fuck out of me, I have been enjoying his company as long as its in small doses, and you know what just taking away the hatred I had in my heart for him and being willing to accept him for who he is despite the turbulant past, was the best thing that I ever did. Not having that Hatred just took away the heaviness and the black cloud. 

When my mom is not stressed and not having her violent mood swings where you have to be nice to her or she mentally degrades you, I enjoy her company. She still thinks my fandom world is fucking nuts, but sometimes shes willing to engage and learn more, and we have good laughs and talks. Its when she calls me selfish, accuses me of things, tries to put thoughts in my head, is when this anger and this hatred comes out. And the fact I live, well soon lived, with it and having these episodes last for days, like she says shes okay but this afternoon she was freaking out about not getting me to one of the things in the program on time and then crying in the car out of no where on the way home. And just like with my dad this Anger has made me sick, coursing to my body, affecting me to the point where I am winded and my body is on fire. 

And you know what yes, some of the things she said and did to me makes her underserving of my love. But I dont want to hate her. Its going to continue a three generation vicious cycle that started with my grandma probably being bitter at her mother for the same thing mom is bitter her basically and is continuing with me and if I dont break it, its going to probably continue with my daughter, whenever i have her because i definitely want kids someday. 

I want nothing more to have that understanding I do with my father than I do with my mother.  I cannot fix what happened. I can’t fix her sickness and her inablity to cope healthily instead rip people apart cause she is unconfident. But I can learn to love her. If I could love Carrie Fisher who I mannifested as my mother figure because of the issues I had despite the fact Carrie had issues and demons and did some unsavory things because of it, then I could love my mother too. But the only way is I can do this is to do the same thing I did with my father, not live with her and see her in small doses. So I can enjoy her and not wonder how long its gonna last. And living away is finally going to take the last thing has been a terrible load on my back, that has affected how i react and see myself and made me so damn defensive. 

Thats why I am so happy about this. I know if I heal things with my mother, its going to heal in a lot of ways too. I may not heal from my anxiety and ADHD which is gonna be with me my whole life and I am okay with it, stanning Carrie Fisher that me that, but I am going to learn to accept my mother for who she is, I am going to learn that not everyone is going to scrutinize everything I do, or mock me. I am going  finally know what it means to thrive even though I live conditions that knock me down sometimes. 

And for that....for the first time in my life, I dont feel hopeless. Going back to school for Data Analytics finally showed me what I wanted to do with my life and knew that even if it takes long to follow my dreams, I know I have direction. Healing my relationship with my Dad gives me hope I can forgive my mom too and I will break the vicious cycle of hatred. Being in this Community gives me hope I will get that acceptance and being able to thrive.

Hell, if I managed to meet Carrie Fisher and had her tell me how awesome I am before we lost her, got all those beautiful times and probably more with Ming Na Wen the woman I aspire to be, and fucking randomly met Harrison Ford the man I stan to hell in airport when I had no plans for that for that to happen, theres ony good things on the horizion right?

Anyway if you read though this dump which I cried three damn times writing thank you and I thank you for letting me space out this dump